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introvert-no-chameleon · 5 years ago

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Of Monsters and McGuckets

Fiddleford just wanted to have his morning coffee in peace, but Gravity Falls and the Stan brothers had other plans.

AO3

Fiddleford Hardon McGucket considered himself to be a patient, level-headed individual. One had to be if they ever hoped to survive Gravity Falls, and, even more daunting, live with Stanford and Stanley Pines. Keeping them in line was an occupation in itself. His co-workers were two of the most chaotic and morally questionable people he’d ever met in his life. (Then again, as someone who had once made a giant robot to terrorize his ex-wife in an admittedly misguided attempt to get her back, maybe he shouldn’t be throwing stones in that last department).

The point is, when it came to dealing with uncommon and frustrating situations, he usually managed to keep a straight head. But on one deceivingly lovely morning, just when he’d went out to the porch to sit back with a nice cup of coffee and the sun had just begun to kiss the horizon, he saw two large monsters sprinting towards the shack, and. Well.

It was only reasonable that he’d react the way he did.

The first thing he did was spit out his early-morning coffee, ruining his only clean tie in the process. The second thing he did was dash into the shack like the Devil Himself was on his heels. Lastly, he slammed the door shut, locked it, and began combing the living room for the shotgun he knew for a fact Stanley kept around. He thanked the Lord Stanford wasn’t here, lest he’d be chastising Fiddleford for “harming” (defending himself against) a perfectly healthy specimen. Never mind the fact that half of these subjects of study had tried to eat him, no sir. Scientific discovery was always more important.

(Sometimes, Fiddleford wondered how on God’s green earth Stanford Pines hadn’t fallen to his death into a ravine or some other nonsense in pursuit of an anomaly. Heaven knows the man, while undeniably brilliant, was severely lacking when it came to common sense).

A bang rattled the wooden door of the shack. Fiddleford yelped, dropping the pile of books he’d been in the process of moving in his scramble to find the gun. He eyed the secret lab entrance and wondered if the door would hold them back long enough for him to make a dash for it.

“Fidds, we saw you run in, will ya just open the door?”

Fiddleford froze. That voice, while even more gravelly than usual (a thing he hadn’t thought possible) was definitely familiar.

“Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit,” he said, dazed, as he walked over to the door and unlocked it. “Stanley?”

Upon closer inspection, he couldn’t deny that the square-jawed face that peered down at him belonged to Stanley Pines. There were some…notable…differences, such as the fact that he had glowing orbs for eyes, all his featured seemed to be carved from stone, he had ridiculous pointy ears and fangs to boot. He’d be right at home next to the gargoyles from those pictures of cathedrals he’d studied for his History of Western Art course.

“Took ya long enough,” said Stanley, ducking his head under the doorway and lumbering inside. Each step made the floorboard groan loudly, and for a few seconds Fiddleford thought the man would break through the wood floor. “Thought we’d never get back.”

“Stanferd, do ya have…fur?” said Fiddleford, stepping away from the door to let the other man in.

Stanford—it couldn’t be anyone else, not with that straight-backed posture and furrowed brow peering over thick-rimmed glasses—walked in behind him, hands behind his back.

Hearing the question, Stanford adjusted his glasses, with a large, six-fingered paw. His facial features were lion-esque, as was his entire body, save from the colorful green, blue and red feathered wings that trailed behind his body. He even had a cute little lion tail poking out from a hole in his pants. “It appears so, yes.” He cleared his throat. “We may have a…problem.”

Stanley, who had gone to the fridge to get a beer, came back glaring at Stanford with those bright yellow orbs. “No shit, Sixer. I hadn’t fucking noticed.”

Stanford’s ears flattened against his skull. Fiddleford would’ve found it amusing if Stanford wasn’t now 7 feet tall and didn’t have large, sharp teeth. “Language, Stanley.”

Fiddleford considered grabbing some alcohol as he took in the situation. After a few attempts at forming words, he finally settled for the question he found himself asking on a near-daily basis. “What in tarnation did ya two get yerselves mixed up in now?”

“Oi, don’t look at me,” said Stan. He jerked his clawed thumb at Stanford. “Mr. Science here was the one who just had to walk right into a mysterious, glowing lake that he almost drowned in.”

Stanford’s tail twitched, and he growled. “We almost drowned, Stanley, because you turned into 300 pounds of moving stone.”

“I was only in the lake because you started flailing around growing a tail and screamin’ for help!”

Ford sniffed, chin held up in that way it got whenever he’d start getting defensive. “Swimming with wings is incredibly difficult.”

“Yeah, I would know, I have them now.” Stanley stretched out his bat-like wings for emphasis.

Judging by Stanford’s bloodshot eyes and Stanley’s slouched posture, along with the fact that they seemed even more short with each other than usual, Fiddleford guessed that they’d been arguing on and off about this for a while. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Now see right here, the two of ya best calm down, you’ll tear the shack apart if you start fighting bein’ like this.”

The two of them, while far from calm, quieted down.

“Right,” said Fiddleford. “So ya discovered some magic water that turns folks into monsters?”

“Yup,” said Stanley. “We found it in some hidden path behind some bushes and a couple of boulders.”

It’s almost as if it was hidden away for a reason. “Did ya at least remember where the path is?”

“Of course,” said Stanford, having the audacity to look indignant. “What do you take me for?”

“An idiot who got us turned into two walking Summerween costumes because he couldn’t just collect the water in a cup and some gloves like a normal scientist?” said Stanley.

“As if you would know what a “normal” scientist does,” said Stanford, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Alright, fellas. Let me just get some food in me and then we can go back out and get some samples,” said Fiddleford. “I need me some caffeine to deal with this.”

Stanford opened his mouth but Fiddleford stopped him with the same withering glare he’d give his son whenever he tried to step out of line. “Stanferd Pines, if ya think I’m gonna run around the woods with the two of you, in this here state, on an empty stomach, yer sorely mistaken.”

“Fidds has got a point,” said Stan. “You probably haven’t had anything other than that piece of toast since you woke up.”

“I suppose some food wouldn’t hurt…” said Stanford. “I did have an incredibly strong urge to maul a deer we spotted on the way over.”

Fiddleford was getting some bacon out of the fridge when he heard the end of the sentence. He straightened up and slammed the door with more force than strictly necessary. “Y-ya did?”

Stanford seemed to come to the same conclusion Fiddleford had, because he raised his paws up. “Oh, n-no, rest assured. I don’t have any inclination to eat you.”

“Thank the Lord…”

“After all,” said Stanford, rubbing his chin. “According to mythology, sphinxes only consume humans if they are unfortunate enough not to know the answers to their riddles.”

“Don’t I feel better,” said Fiddleford, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Do ya reckon ya can still have some bacon and eggs?”

“Yes, that’ll do,” he said. “Oh! I must write down our findings in my journal. Now, where did I put it…” Stanford went up the stairs, muttering to himself the entire way.

“Ya know, he actually started running on all fours at least twice on the way over.” Stan grinned through another sip of beer. “was the funniest thing I’ve seen all week.”

Fiddleford sighed. That would explain the fighting. He rolled his eyes as he saw Stanley reach in the fridge for another can and shut it before he could. “Stanley Pines, it is 8 o’clock in the morning.”

“Ooh,” Stanley raised his eyebrows. “Two last names in less than five minutes, it’s a new record.”

“Stanley.”

Stanley pouted, and even with his new…physical features, Fiddleford still found it endearing. “Aw, come onnnn, Fids, I’m emotionally distressed!”

“Yer no such thing.” He smiled a soon as back turned to the other man. He took out their skillet and placed it on the stove.

“Y’know, I gotta hand it to ya. You’ve gotten a lot more assertive since we’ve met, it’s kinda hot.”

“Yer flattery will not sway me into lettin’ ya get another drink.”

Stanley laughed behind him. “Yeah, yeah. I’m still bein’ serious. Ford didn’t even try to fight you about getting breakfast. If it was me, he’d be yelling at me by now about how we were wastin’ time and crap.”

“It doesn’t take much for the two of ya to get at each other’s necks.” Fiddleford cracked an egg on the edge of the skillet. Anyhow, that’s because he’s hiding away scribblin’ field notes. The moment he’s done, he’ll be tryin’ to drag us on out of here.”

“Eh, true.”

For a moment, the eggs sizzling and snapping on the pan filled the warm silence. His stomach grumbled as the savory smell of cooking food reached him. “Stanley, can ya hand me the coffeepot?”

The floorboards creaked behind Fiddleford. A shadow loomed over him. “Stanley?”

“…You’re not, uh, scared of me or nothin’?” Stanley’s voice had gotten so quiet Fiddleford had hardly heard him.

Fiddleford glanced back at Stanley, who despite his size was hunched over, looking mighty small for someone who was now a literal boulder.

“Why on earth would I be?”

Stanley blinked meekly. He gestured towards his entire body. “Uh…’cause I look like this?”

Ah. He did try to threaten them with a shotgun. Some of the unease he’d gotten rid of returned, but he tried his best not to show it. He swallowed down his fear as best as he could. “Should I be?”

Stanley frowned. “Eh, I mean, I feel different, but not in a “eat somebody” kinda way. I do have a very strong urge to perch on the roof and attack pigeons.”

“Fascinating.” Even without his caffeine, his scientific curiosity was finally starting to get the best of him. “Well, gargoyles are known as guardians meant to ward against evil. Perhaps you’ve developed some sorta protective instinct…”

He stopped mid-ramble. Even without eyes to speak of, Fiddleford could tell Stanley was avoiding his gaze.

Fiddleford brought his hand to Stanley’s cheek. It felt warm, to his surprise, like rock that had baked under the afternoon sun. Stanley peeked up at him. “Darlin’, the only thing I’m afraid of is the damage you’ll cause around the lab if we don’t turn ya back. Yer like a bull in a china closet as it is.”

Stanley chuckled, leaning into Fiddleford’s touch. “Somebody has ta make things interesting around here.”

Something crashed overhead, quickly followed by a string of curses. A series of heavy objects thumped against the wood overhead.

“I’m alright!” called Stanford’s voice. “I simply knocked a bookshelf over my person, but this new form is surprisingly durable!”

“Things are interestin’ enough as it is,” said Fiddleford, his brief moment of curiosity gone as soon as it came. “Where in tarnation is the coffeepot?”

“Relax, Fiddlenerd, I’ll make ya a fresh one.” He went over by his side, giving him a playful shove that sent Fiddleford to the ground. “…Oops. Sorry, uh, forgot about the whole…stone thing.”

Fiddleford glowered up at his boyfriend, taking his hand as he helped Fiddleford back up. “Yer lucky a got a soft spot fer ya, else I’d be mighty cross.”

Stanly gave him the gentlest peck on the top of Fiddleford’s head. “Once I have my human body back, I’ll make it up to ya.”

Stanley gave him a cup of his precious lifeblood, black with two sugars, just as he liked it. Smirking, Fiddleford took a sip, getting warmed by more than just the coffee. “I’ll hold ya to that.”

Somebody please give Fiddleford a raise.

Comment on what monster you all think Fidds should be, and I may do a second part. I've read some people make him a scarecrow, and I considered making him a centaur.

#mystery trio au #mystery trio #gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #fiddleford hadron mcgucket #fiddleford mcgucket #young fiddleford #young stanley pines #young stanford pines #young stan bros #fluff #fiddlestan #monster falls #gargolye!stan #sphinx!ford

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anistarrose · 6 years ago

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Distortion (Gravity Falls x Pokemon)

Summary: Ford’s search for a way to take down Bill Cipher brings him to the Distortion World, where he meets a surprisingly kindred spirit.

Word Count: ~3800

Warnings: some self-blame and self-hatred

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19440313

Another Pokemon Falls crossover, this time with Portal Ford!

***

Finding himself surrounded by shadowy trees that hung in the air like smoke, and staring down a massive waterfall that drew from a pool at his feet and ran upwards into the sky, Ford decided that he was getting really damn tired of gravity anomalies.

You’d think that falling through a punched hole in spacetime would be a singular sensation, unmatched by any other experience — but one of the first lessons Ford had had to learn was to never underestimate the vastness of the multiverse. There would always be yet another dimension where every too-light step would remind him of being lifted off the ground by a humming, crackling portal behind him, of bolts of blue-white electricity winding around him while gravity’s pull rendered him just as immobile and helpless as a Thunder Wave would —

At his side, his Ninetales let out a soft warning growl that jolted him back to reality, just in time to glimpse a shadow shoot across the clouded, dark blue sky. It vanished the span of a single pounding heartbeat, and Ford couldn’t help but look back to Ninetales, hoping for some confirmation that he hadn’t imagined the sight —

An ear-splitting screech filled the air, inhuman and indescribably enraged. Ford dove into the grove of spectral trees, Ninetales close behind him, but as his hand passed through one, they all faded away completely, leaving him no cover.

Yet as painfully exposed as he was, neither the shadow nor the screech returned. The dimension was left eerily silent, aside from the almost peaceful gurgling of the waterfall.

Ford stomped to the center of the floating platform, and yelled to no apparent target: “What is this place? Why did you guide me here?”

Naturally, there was no apparent reply. The waterfall kept gurling, and the illusory trees kept swaying in an intangible wind, but the dimension seemed almost completely devoid of any sentient life.

Except the shadow, of course — and Ford was already forming a hypothesis about that shadow, just as he did about nearly everything, but it seemed almost too incredible to believe. He wasn’t even sure if he would be thrilled to be proven right, or terrified.

He would make up his mind soon enough.

***

On many a rainy autumn afternoon back home, Ford would curl up in the top bunk with Rowlet and Vulpix while Stan would build a pillow fort beneath him with Meowth and Zorua, and they’d just sit peacefully together, drinking hot chocolate and sharing little tidbits from whatever they were reading at the time. Stan preferred comic books, loved the adventures of Crobatman and Captain Braviary and the Green Lanturn, but Ford…

Ford was always into mythology.

“Get this, Stan! There’s a Pokemon called Giratina that can travel between dimensions — and takes on different forms in the different worlds!”

“Huh, neato.”

“And here’s the coolest part — they say that in at least one of its forms, it has six legs and six spikes on its wings!”

“Really? Wow, sounds like you should try and catch one!”

“Well, according to the legend in this book, there’s only one in the whole universe — so catching it is probably off the table, but I’d still like to meet it. Except… except it doesn’t look like I’ll get a chance to, because…”

Ford’s face fell as he skimmed the next few paragraphs. “They say it mostly stays in a world on the reverse side of ours, because it was… banished there. It was just too… violent and destructive for our world, I guess…”

He didn’t say it, but he thought: Too much of a freak.

“Hey, lighten up! That just sounds like a spooky bedtime story someone made up to try and scare their kids into behaving,” Stan told him. “Or their little siblings. It seems kinda like something Shermie would come up with, doesn’t it?”

“No,” Ford said quietly. “These myths are usually pretty credible. I think it’s real.”

“Well, then I bet it’s just misunderstood,” Stan declared, unfazed. “You know, I bet you will meet Giratina one day — ‘cause you’re gonna clear its name! Find it an alibi! Show the world what makes the freaks and the weirdos the coolest of all of us, not the scariest!”

That got a smile out of Ford. “You’re right. And, you know… I always have wanted to travel to other dimensions…”

***

Ford quickly discovered that not all of the trees were illusions — but not before confidently walking into one and getting a faceful of rough, paper-thin leaves. He didn’t hear or see any more signs of Giratina — if that even was the shadow’s true identity. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted it to be.

True, he had kept seeking out more myths about the Renegade Pokemon well into his college years, and would always be thrilled upon discovering a new tidbit of lore of even the most dubious credibility; and true, he had always clung to the improbable, self-indulgent dream that he might one day encounter Giratina itself and discover its true nature for himself —

But here in a dimension that bore an uncanny resemblance to the elusive Distortion World, subject of both shrouded legend and scientific speculation; here outside of idealistic childhood fantasy; here in reality where a hostile Legendary Pokemon could hurt or more likely kill him with ease, where his demise could spell the end for the whole universe’s best shot at escaping a demon’s tyrannical reign… here, Ford couldn’t help but be terrified.

Terrified and frustrated, that was, as he walked into the same damn tree for the second time.

“We’re just going in circles, aren’t we?” he realized aloud, and Ninetales gave a low murmur of agreement. “Just big, spacetime-defying circles. Shit, what do we do?”

As if on cue, something lit up near the edge of his peripheral vision. He instinctively whirled around to face it, but the light — a pulsating blue sphere, reminiscent of ball lightning — was already darting away, erratically weaving between floating trees and leaving behind a meandering, faintly glowing trail that arced between floating slabs of earth and across sideways lakes.

It was a familiar sight to Ford, having led him to this world in the first place.

“Azelf?” he whispered. There was no reply aside from the trail growing just the slightest bit dimmer.

“Fine,” he finally muttered. “I’ll follow you one more time.”

***

On many a day spent while wandering the multiverse, far from home and even further from peace, Ford would catch himself wondering if it was for the best.

Growing up, it would have taken more than twelve fingers to count all the times Ford was told he was cursed, or a bad omen, or simply a “monster.” Often, it wasn’t to his face — just whispered to his parents, or sometimes even his brothers, when the accuser didn’t think he was listening — but it was an omnipresent, inescapable constant of his childhood, something he had to learn to either tune out or shrug off.

Ironic, then, how it was only now that he was starting to believe it.

Now that he’d seen the lives he’d ruined. Now that he’d seen the destruction he’d invited in to his world. The way he’d torn Fiddleford away from a young and loving family and traumatized the poor man into starting a cult, the way he’d been so wrapped up in his own ego that he ignored all the words of warning from his friend, from his Pokemon, and eagerly put himself to work for an ancient entity of pure chaos and malevolence… “bad omen” didn’t even begin to describe the way he endangered everything and everyone he grew close to, the way he ruined everything he laid a hand on.

And yes, he was doing everything he could to fix his greatest mistake, to construct a weapon capable of destroying Bill, but his conscience simply would never allow him to do anything else. And yes, he sought out leads for ways he might one day be able to get safely home again, after Bill was dead and gone, but that was for his Pokemon’s sakes, not his own. He had left a world that he had never fit into, never done anything but endanger, and had he been adrift in the multiverse alone… he wasn’t sure he’d ever go home, even if given the chance.

***

Ford called Ninetales back into its Pokeball for a time, as he leapt between stepping stones across an unnaturally calm lake. Two twin rivers fed into it, twisting down from above like a double helix and generating a froth of bubbles that dissipated quickly, leaving the surface pristine like a giant mirror. For a moment, he thought that he saw a massive shadow reflected in it, looming and angular — but then he blinked, and it was just an all-too-familiar face that was staring back at him.

(His face, but not his face. Gaunt with exhaustion and weary from fighting off despair just like his, but not for the same reasons.)

Then the surface began to ripple, so subtly at first that Ford couldn’t quite pin down what was wrong, even as his instincts screamed at him to run. Cautiously, he crouched down and lowered his head to the water’s level —

Another screech tore through his ears, and he jerked his head up to see an invisible shape burst through the helical tributaries. Based off the massive explosion of water it displaced, Ford surmised it must have been gigantic, easily taller than he was and maybe as much as three or four times as long…

And now it was barreling straight towards him, its path made visible by the V-shaped wave it churned up as it flew. The spray from the lake seemed to interact with its body for a few brief seconds, revealing a glimpse of a set of long, thin wings — six of them, by Ford’s count.

He took a step backwards, nearly toppled into the lake, and then made a split-second decision as he righted himself. The creature had to be flying only just above the surface, in order to leave such a large splash in its wake —

Just before the point of the V reached his stepping stone, Ford jumped as high as his legs could carry him and slammed against something solid.

***

When Ford had nearly drowned while hiding from pursuers at the bottom of a lake, his oxygen tank leaking at an alarming rate, the hidden entrance to a submerged cave full of breathable air had felt like divine intervention — and the stories of lake-dwelling spirits, representing knowledge, willpower, and emotion, that he remembered reading as a child only reinforced that feeling.

Yes, it may it may have been a bit naive, a bit too optimistic, of him to get his hopes up for an encounter with Uxie in particular — but he couldn’t stop his mind from leaping to the possibilities that a favor from the Being of Knowledge would offer him. He could ask for information about Bill Cipher’s history, or weaknesses, or even where in the multiverse he could find some of those stubbornly elusive components of his quantum destabilizer…

And besides, he was Stanford Pines. What lake guardian would take an interest in him, if not the one representing knowledge, and truth, and memory, and by extension science?

So when he noticed a pulsating blue light shining on the cave walls — not the golden-yellow of Uxie, which he’d been so desperately hoping for — he was taken aback. He froze in place reflexively as a glowing blue orb darted out from around the corner and circled him erratically, stopping inches away from his face for a second before teleporting a few feet back and taking on a less luminescent, more defined form. Two resplendent red gems rested near the tips of two long, flat tails, and another between bright, intelligent golden eyes that seemed to be constantly shifting, looking Ford over.

Azelf, Being of Willpower, was not the first Legendary Pokemon Ford had ever encountered, but it may very well have been the most unexpected.

“Why you?” he blurted out. “Can you help me defeat Cipher?”

Azelf took off in a flash, so quickly that Ford momentarily thought it had left the room before he noticed it behind him, circling one of the the larger puddles like a glowing, crackling blue whirlwind. He took a step towards it, and realized the puddle seemed oddly reflective — his mirror image was bright and vividly colored, albeit warped and distorted by ripples.

Azelf zipped by once more, narrowly missing his face, and he tried to take a step back but his legs felt as heavy as lead. With horror, he watched as the puddle in front of him sunk into the ground, creating a roughly conical and ever-widening depression that he almost immediately found himself on the slope of.

“With all due respect, Azelf,” he growled as he was dragged towards the center, “what the fuck?!”

After a moment of frantic fumbling, while continuing to slide towards the apparent portal — a cylindrical hole in spacetime itself, starlight from Arceus-knew-what galaxies flashing from within the tunnel’s navy blue walls — he managed to procure a grappling hook from his bag, and aimed for a jagged formation of stalagmites a few feet beyond the outer edge of the conical whirlpool. But his shot was instantly pulled off course as the wormhole’s gravity caught it, redirecting it down and into the distortion as Ford felt a violent tug on his end of the line. For the first time since the portal had appeared, he felt his feet move — dragged down the side of the cone and into the portal, where his vision went white and his body went weightless.

When he felt solid ground beneath his feet again, he was surrounded by gravity-defying waterfalls and wispy illusory trees.

***

His attacker became visible as Ford landed on it, his hands running over a red and black-striped back that felt rough, yet oddly immaterial. The sensation of touching rough scales was undoubtedly present, just not as vivid as it should have been to Ford’s senses. He nearly lost his grip as the creature — no, as Giratina, there was no doubt anymore — writhed and screeched in apparent surprise, but Ford somehow managed to turn himself around and grab one of the yellow ridges where its wings attached to its body, straddling its serpentine neck awkwardly as the six wings beat furiously around him.

Half-blinded by the spray as Giratina flew through another waterfall, Ford was guided by experience and instinct alone as he reached for a Pokeball on his belt. His Decidueye appeared in a flash of light, dodging red-spiked wings and a lashing tail to fly along Ford’s side.

“Use Spirit Shackle!” Ford yelled. “Immobilize the wings!”

Decidueye perched briefly on a floating stone and let three arrows fly. Two of them were lost to the gravity anomalies, deflected off in unpredictable directions, but the last one flew true — piercing through two of six smokelike wings, which spasmed as a purple aura spread down the tendrils. Giratina immediately careened off to one side, and Ford instinctively tightened his grip — a mistake, he realized a few seconds later, when the two of them crashed into the mirrorlike surface of the lake below and the force of the impact tore through him, ripping him off of Giratina’s back and plunging him into the water.

The cold hit him first, a wave of icy pins and needles that swept down his body, trying to inject him with numbness, with that atmosphere of lifelessness and hopelessness that permeated this dimension. He spluttered and thrashed, desperately trying to breach the surface, to find a handhold to pull himself to shore, but as second after precious second crept away without oxygen, he realized: there was no sense of buoyancy in this lake, no tug pulling him towards the surface. No way to know which way was up.

He forced his eyes open, and saw glowing red stripes lighting up the darkness. They coiled all around him, above and below and to every side, as two gleaming crimson eyes floated ever closer —

Enveloped in a bright blue aura, Azelf zipped through the water between them. It touched one tail to Ford’s forehead and the other to a spot right between Giratina’s eyes, then disappeared before Ford could even process what had happened.

“What —” he gurgled, opening his mouth reflexively and not closing it fast enough to stop the water from surging into his lungs. He hacked and coughed, trying to whack himself in the chest with one hand and reach for his Pokeballs with the other, but he failed on both counts as his limbs grew heavy, and blurry spots danced across his already obscured vision —

Something lifted him above the surface and he gasped for breath, taking longer than he should have to realize that he was now kneeling upon Giratina’s head, just behind its golden crown.

You need to breathe? a raspy and faintly echoing, yet surprisingly soft voice asked him.

“Most humans do,” he choked out automatically, spitting coughed-up water back into the lake and recalling a concerned-looking Decidueye back into its Pokeball before the nature of the conversation sunk in. “Wait — Giratina? You saved me?”

Yes. Giratina went silent for a while, as it lazily drifted across the surface of the lake — how it could float despite the disorienting lack of buoyancy, Ford wasn’t sure.

Why are you here? it finally continued.

That was a good question, Ford thought, and also a question he wasn’t sure how to reply to. It was tempting to simply blame Azelf, but given how it was Azelf who had evidently opened up their current line of telepathic communication, that didn’t seem wise.

In a roundabout way, he’d ultimately ended up here for the same reason he ever traveled to any dimension, Ford figured, so that was how he decided to reply.

“I’m looking for a material that will help me save the multiverse,” he stated slowly.

Why does the burden of saving the multiverse fall to you?

It wasn’t the response Ford was expecting — though it may have been one that he deserved.

“I made a mistake. I was the one who endangered my home dimension in the first place, and now I need to fix things.”

Giratina didn’t respond immediately. What is the material? it eventually asked.

“Well, there are a few different components I’m looking for… do you have anything small that distorts spacetime either far more or far less than its mass would indicate?”

Yes. Hold on tight.

Giratina spread its wings and lifted into the air, Ford still perched atop its head. Columns of water and floating rocky islands flew past them as they ascended, and raced towards the blanket of foreboding purple clouds that stretched across the sky from horizon to horizon —

And then, they’d breached it, and were surrounded by stars — white dwarfs and red giant and everything in between, binary pairs dancing waltzes together while supernovas exploded into sizzling plumes of plasma. Yet they all ranged just from the size of a fist to a basketball, and floated by within arm’s reach of Ford, so close that he could feel their heat drying out his sopping coat.

Instinctively, he held out an arm to run a hand through a glowing red-orange nebula, and streams of gas danced around his fingers, swirling together to consolidate in his palm. He made a fist, and the contents of his hand immediately caught ablaze under the pressure — not quite hot enough to singe him, but bright enough that rays of white light escaped from the cracks between his fingers, illuminating all six of them like a beacon in the night sky.

Giratina dove back beneath the layer of clouds, and as they slowed to a more leisurely pace, Ford opened his hand again to see a system of six tiny stars all orbiting each other as they hovered just above his palm.

Will that work?

“...It’s perfect.”

They drifted past the double helix waterfall once again, close enough for Ford to make out his distorted reflection in one of the streams.

Life isn’t meant to stay in this world, Giratina told him. We should part ways soon… but before, I can open a portal nearly anywhere in the multiverse for you…

A pause. You know, I could open a portal to your home.

Ford looked down at the star system in his hand, and then back to his reflection… and then over his shoulder, to the still nowhere-near-complete weapon strapped across his back.

“I deeply appreciate the offer, but my team and I can’t. There are still things we need to do that… we need to keep traveling between dimensions to accomplish.”

You are banished by your own choices, then…

Giratina nearly came to a complete halt for a moment, and Ford cringed, so preoccupied with worrying he’d misspoken that he hardly noticed the sphere of ball lightning descending from the sky just a few feet from his face.

You have a fierce stubbornness inside of you. Azelf’s voice was loud and resonant inside Ford’s head, completely unlike Giratina’s hesitant, rasping whisper. And when you embrace it, it may often turn out to be to your detriment…

It shed the sphere of blue lightning, revealing its true form. Warm golden eyes fixated on Ford, and its tails twitched as an oddly human smile spread across its tiny face.

But our flaws often stem from our greatest strengths, and you possess exactly the dedication and endurance that are needed to save this universe.

“Thank you, Azelf,” Ford whispered. “I’m sorry for doubting your judgement.”

Have you decided where you wish to go, if not home? Giratina asked him.

“I suppose… Dimension 61-6,” Ford decided. That was the dimension he’d encountered Azelf in, a place that he still hoped would contain many more resources to help him in his fight against Cipher.

Alright. Giratina opened its mouth and breathed out a whirlwind of shadows that bore into the surface of the lake below, carving a conical depression in the water. A white glow lit up at the bottom of the funnel, flickering faintly as if beckoning Ford towards it.

“I’d be so lost without your help, Giratina. Thank you so much.”

Giratina’s head bobbed slightly, as if nodding.

I wish you luck with your quest… friend.

Before he could change his mind, Ford jumped through the portal.

***

Bhduv odwhu, ehlqj suhvvhg iru lqirupdwlrq dqg hqyhorshg lq d yhub gliihuhqw wbsh ri eoxh oljkwlqj, lw zdv wklqnlqj edfn wr wklv hqfrxqwhu wkdw nhsw Irug iurp jlylqj xs.

Thanks for reading, feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always! I’ve been thinking about the Mystery Trio and how they correspond to the Lake Guardians for a while, and eventually settled on:

Stan is emotion (Mesprit): He can definitely be very stubborn, but that stubbornness is often derived from emotion, such as his love for his family. He acts closed-off sometimes, but emotions are the driving force behind so many of his actions, like restarting the portal despite the dangers and sacrificing himself to beat Bill and save his family.

Fiddleford is knowledge (Uxie): This one is probably the most clear-cut, since Uxie is capable of erasing memories. Of course, Fidds is highly intelligent and inventive as well, just like the traits Uxie is said to grant.

Ford is willpower (Azelf): Knowledge could of course be fitting for him too (and that manifests a little bit in the fic itself, with Ford hoping to meet Uxie), but I think willpower encapsulates his personality even better. He survived in the multiverse for 30 years with the sole goal of taking down Bill, and then endured a brutal amount of torture in Weirdmageddon but still refused to give Bill the equation.

#pokemon falls au #gravity falls #stanford pines #stanley pines #pokemon #giratina #crossover #rosalia writes fic

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ramajmedia · 5 years ago

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Nicolas Cage's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

Because Nicolas Cage is famous for making bad movies, a lot of moviegoers forget about his good movies. The gems are hidden among the endless slew of direct-to-video stinkers and phoned-in, formulaic B-actioners, but they are there. Cage is an Academy Award winner who has worked with such legendary directors as the Coen brothers and Martin Scorsese. He can do both drama, like playing a suicidal alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas (the one that won him the Oscar), and comedy, like playing an ultraviolent Batman parody in Kick-Ass.

RELATED: Nicolas Cage: His 5 Best Movies (And 5 Worst)

So, here are Nicolas Cage’s 10 best movies, according to Rotten Tomatoes.

10 Peggy Sue Got Married (85%)

Directed by Nicolas Cage’s uncle Francis Ford Coppola, Peggy Sue Got Married is a curious take on a time travel story. It’s about a middle-aged woman who is filled with regret over marrying a jerk named Charlie, played by Cage, and wishing her life away. Suddenly, she’s whisked into the past and given the chance to do it all over again and stop herself from marrying Charlie in the first place.

However, in her younger body, she finds herself falling for Charlie’s charms again. What makes the movie work is that it doesn’t focus on the time travel aspect; it focuses on the human aspect.

9 Leaving Las Vegas (90%)

This is the movie that won Nicolas Cage his Academy Award for Best Actor. He plays a depressed alcoholic who heads down to Las Vegas to drink himself to death. However, things start to change when he falls in love with a troubled prostitute, played by Elisabeth Shue.

It’s a really heartbreaking movie, with characters that you feel bad for as you follow them into a dark psychological abyss. While most studio movies are shot on 35mm film, Leaving Las Vegas was filmed on super 16mm, which is more common in indie cinema, giving this one a less mainstream feel.

8 TIE: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies (91%)

A lifelong comic book fan, Nicolas Cage famously came close to playing the Man of Steel in a movie called Superman Lives. It was going to be directed by Tim Burton and written by Kevin Smith. However, for so many reasons that there’s a whole documentary about it, the movie was canceled by Warner Bros.

Cage eventually did get the chance to play Superman, albeit in a comical cameo appearance in Teen Titans Go! To the Movies. It’s a self-aware take on a film adaptation of a TV show that was far better-received than the TV show it’s based on.

7 TIE: Raising Arizona (91%)

The Coen brothers’ sophomore effort starred Nicolas Cage as a reformed ex-con and Holly Hunter as his cop wife. They want to start a family, but Hunter’s character finds that she can’t have children, and due to Cage’s character’s past, they can’t adopt, so they’re stuck.

RELATED: 10 Must-Own Gifts For Fans Of The Coen Brothers Movies

And then they see a furniture tycoon on the news who’s just had octuplets and decide to kidnap one of them. Things are great at first, but they become complicated when Cage returns to his life of crime by stealing diapers and a couple of his old criminal buddies break out of prison and come to stay. It’s a hysterical slapstick comedy.

6 TIE: Mandy (91%)

If you’re looking for a movie that will boggle your mind, rock you to your core, and feel like an acid trip, then look no further than Mandy. A couple are living a tranquil existence in a tranquil forest that is disrupted by a horrifying death cult and a demon biker gang, leading Cage on a violent path of revenge.

Between his rampant outbursts of violence, Cage shows real emotion in his character. It might be the weirdest movie you’ll ever see, but it’s nothing if not unique, and movies with fierce originality are few and far between in today’s Hollywood landscape.

5 TIE: Adaptation (91%)

Nicolas Cage plays dual roles spectacularly in Adaptation. When Charlie Kaufman was hired to write a movie based on The Orchid Thief, he couldn’t crack it, so he instead wrote a movie about his own struggles to adapt the novel. He also created his own fictional twin brother, Donald Kaufman, to be a much healthier, happier, less insecure, and ultimately more successful, albeit less creative screenwriter than himself.

Mainstream audiences won’t appreciate the debates about screenwriting theory and screenplay structure, but Cage is hilarious as both Kaufman brothers. Kaufman reteamed with Being John Malkovich director Spike Jonze for this equally weird head-trip.

4 Face/Off (92%)

An action movie starring John Travolta as an FBI agent and Nicolas Cage as the terrorist who killed his son as they switch faces might sound like a dreadful affair. However, in the hands of director John Woo, who leans into the absurdity of the premise, it’s actually a compelling cat-and-mouse thriller.

RELATED: 5 '90s Action Movies That Didn't Age Well (& 5 That Only Got Better)

When Cage is playing Travolta with Cage’s face, it’s fun to see him do his best John Travolta impression, and vice versa. As with all of Woo’s best movies, the action set pieces here are visceral, thrilling, and expertly crafted, both in the editing and in the choreography.

3 Moonstruck (93%)

Nicolas Cage starred alongside pop sensation Cher in this romantic comedy about a widowed woman who falls for her fiancé’s distant, angry younger brother. From that premise, it would sound like a harrowing drama, but make no mistake – this is a heartwarming Hollywood romcom if there ever was one.

It also won three of the six Academy Awards it was nominated for: Best Actress for Cher, Best Supporting Actress for Olympia Dukakis, and Best Original Screenplay. It was directed by Norman Jewison, the giant of cinema behind such classics as In the Heat of the Night and ...And Justice for All.

2 Red Rock West (95%)

The little-seen neo-noir Red Rock West almost didn’t see the light of day (and it barely did, even then). Despite having its premiere at the revered Toronto International Film Festival and being showered with praise at that screening, the movie didn’t secure a theatrical release.

It was being primed for a direct-to-video release before a movie theater owner spotted it and liked it so much that he set it off on a tour of arthouse theaters. Nicolas Cage stars alongside Lara Flynn Boyle and the great Dennis Hopper in this contemporary western that veers between dark thriller and dark comedy.

1 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (97%)

This dimension-hopping, web-slinging ‘toon beat both Pixar and Wes Anderson to the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature earlier this year. A number of interdimensional alternate versions of Spider-Man appear in the film. The one that Nicolas Cage plays is Spider-Man Noir, a black-and-white detective version of Spidey from the Depression era.

As a whole, the movie is a riveting superhero adventure with a beautiful animation style that looks more like a moving comic book than a cartoon, and its strong emotional core ensures that the gloss on the surface has something to capture. A sequel is eagerly anticipated by fans.

NEXT: Arnold Schwarzenegger's 10 Best Movies, According To Rotten Tomatoes

source https://screenrant.com/nicolas-cages-best-movies-according-rotten-tomatoes/

#screenrant

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thelustybraavosimaid · 2 years ago

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On the topic of Rhaegar and his supposed "cowardice," there was a quote I forgot to include.

The battle screamed about Lord Robert and Prince Rhaegar both, and by the will of the gods, or by chance—or perhaps by design—they met amidst the shallows of the ford. The two knights fought valiantly upon their destriers, according to all accounts. For despite his crimes, Prince Rhaegar was no coward. (The Fall of the Dragons—Robert's Rebellion, The World of Ice and Fire)

Moreover, do you not find it odd that Ned, literally Lyanna's brother, had no negative thoughts about Rhaegar? Nor does he praise his death.

Suddenly, uncomfortably, he found himself recalling Rhaegar Targaryen. Fifteen years dead, yet Robert hates him as much as ever. It was a disturbing notion…and there was the other matter, the business with Catelyn and the dwarf that Yoren had warned him of last night. (Eddard VIII, AGoT)

For the first time in years, he found himself remembering Rhaegar Targaryen. He wondered if Rhaegar had frequented brothels; somehow he thought not. (Eddard IX, AGoT)

"Nonetheless," Ned said, "the murder of children…it would be vile…unspeakable…"

"Unspeakable?" the king roared. "What Aerys did to your brother Brandon was unspeakable. The way your lord father died, that was unspeakable. And Rhaegar…how many times do you think he raped your sister? How many hundreds of times?" His voice had grown so loud that his horse whinnied nervously beneath him. The king jerked the reins hard, quieting the animal, and pointed an angry finger at Ned. "I will kill every Targaryen I can get my hands on, until they are as dead as their dragons, and then I will piss on their graves."

Ned knew better than to defy him when the wrath was on him. If the years had not quenched Robert's thirst for revenge, no words of his would help. "You can't get your hands on this one, can you?" he said quietly. (Eddard II, AGoT)

Hmm.

Her father plucked up a cyvasse piece. "I must know how you learned that Quentyn was abroad. Your brother went with Cletus Yronwood, Maester Kedry, and three of Lord Yronwood's best young knights on a long and perilous voyage, with an uncertain welcome at its end. He has gone to bring us back our heart's desire."

She narrowed her eyes. "What is our heart's desire?"

"Vengeance." His voice was soft, as if he were afraid that someone might be listening. "Justice." Prince Doran pressed the onyx dragon into her palm with his swollen, gouty fingers, and whispered, "Fire and blood." (The Princess in the Tower, AFfC)

I don't really know of anyone who ever said that Elia would be jealous of Lyanna. To be quite honest, I've never, ever seen that before, but then again I do not look for anything Elia related.

George said that he pictured the Dornish as more Mediterranean rather than African:

So Elia is not PoC in George's eyes. Feel free to debate that, I suppose, but it is pointless to argue with the literal author.

Where was it said that Rhaegar allowed any of them to suffer? He put Jaime in charge of protecting Elia and their children, Jaime dreams this:

Prince Rhaegar burned with a cold light, now white, now red, now dark. "I left my wife and children in your hands." (Jaime VI, ASoS)

It is very clear that he did not want any of them hurt. Elsewise he wouldn't have told Jaime to watch over and protect them.

We know *something* about his relationship with Elia and it was that he was fond of her. In love with, maybe not, as it was a relationship that was borne out of politics.

The old knight hesitated. "Princess Elia was a good woman, Your Grace. She was kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit. I know the prince was very fond of her." (Daenerys IV, ADwD)

It is the "she smells Dornish" line that has Rhaegar feeling even more distant to his father. Even before then, when he married Elia, they moved to Dragonstone rather than the Red Keep.

Your other point about not doing anything because he didn't care can easily be refuted by certain passages in the series:

Rhaegar had put his hand on Jaime's shoulder. "When this battle's done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but...well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return." (Jaime I, AFfC)

This is known: The tourney was first announced by Walter Whent, Lord of Harrenhal, late in the year 280 AC, not long after a visit from his younger brother, Ser Oswell Whent, a knight of the Kingsguard. That this would be an event of unrivaled magnificence was clear from the first, for Lord Whent was offering prizes thrice as large as those given at the great Lannisport tourney of 272 AC, hosted by Lord Tywin Lannister in celebration of Aerys II's tenth year upon the Iron Throne.

Most took this simply as an attempt by Whent to outdo the former Hand and demonstrate the wealth and splendor of his house. There were those, however, who believed this no more than a ruse, and Lord Whent no more than a catspaw. His lordship lacked the funds to pay such munificent prizes, they argued; someone else must surely have stood behind him, someone who did not lack for gold but preferred to remain in the shadows whilst allowing the Lord of Harrenhal to claim the glory for hosting this magnificent event. We have no shred of evidence that such a "shadow host" ever existed, but the notion was widely believed at the time and remains so today.

But if indeed there was a shadow, who was he, and why did he choose to keep his role a secret? A dozen names have been put forward over the years, but only one seems truly compelling: Rhaegar Targaryen, Prince of Dragonstone.

If this tale be believed, 'twas Prince Rhaegar who urged Lord Walter to hold the tourney, using his lordship's brother Ser Oswell as a gobetween. Rhaegar provided Whent with gold sufficient for splendid prizes in order to bring as many lords and knights to Harrenhal as possible. The prince, it is said, had no interest in the tourney as a tourney; his intent was to gather the great lords of the realm together in what amounted to an informal Great Council, in order to discuss ways and means of dealing with the madness of his father, King Aerys II, possibly by means of a regency or a forced abdication. (The Fall of the Dragons—The Year of the False Spring, The World of Ice and Fire)

It is unfortunate that you are weaving a large amount of headcanons and obvious bias in your post here.

We know what kind of man Rhaegar was like through Daenerys, and these are remarks by people who knew Rhaegar.

This particular passage is after Dany said that *she did not want any rapes*.

"I will not have her harmed," Dany said. "I claim her. Do as I command you, or Khal Drogo will know the reason why."

"Ai, Khaleesi," Jhogo replied, kicking his horse. Quaro and the others followed his lead, the bells in their hair chiming.

"Go with them," she commanded Ser Jorah.

"As you command." The Knight gave her a curious look. "You are your brother's sister in truth."

"Viserys?" She did not understand.

"No," he answered. "Rhaegar." He galloped off. (Daenerys VII, AGoT)

If Daenerys wanted to protect a woman from being raped and Jorah mentioned that she was like Rhaegar in that moment, exactly *why* would Rhaegar harm his own wife by assaulting her?

"Just so," she agreed. "I think we should attack from three sides. Grey Worm, your Unsullied shall strike at them from right and left, while my kos lead my horse in wedge for a thrust through their center. Slave soldiers will never stand before mounted Dothraki." She smiled. "To be sure, I am only a young girl and know little of war. What do you think, my lords?"

"I think you are Rhaegar Targaryen's sister," Ser Jorah said with a rueful half smile.

"Aye," said Arstan Whitebeard, "and a queen as well." (Daenerys IV, ASoS)

Moreover, Ser Barristan mentions this:

"Some truths are hard to hear. Robert was a...a good knight...chivalrous, brave...he spared my life, and the lives of many others...Prince Viserys was only a boy, it would have been years before he was fit to rule, and...forgive me, my queen, but you asked for truth...even as a child, your brother Viserys oft seemed to be his father's son, in ways that Rhaegar never did."

"His father's son?" Dany frowned. "What does that mean?"

The old knight did not blink. "Your father is called 'the Mad King' in Westeros. Has no one ever told you?" (Daenerys VI, ASoS)

No one, literally no one, thinks that he was mad. No one except for Robert.

There is also nothing to suggest that Rhaegar lived for himself, that he thought he was the most important person in the world, or that nothing else mattered to him. Again, he made Jaime watch after his wife and children.

Moreover, about the Prince that was Promised prophecy, it is very obvious that said topic was what he read of in the scrolls that made him decide to become a warrior. Now that we know the Targaryens knew of the Long Night and the disastrous events that were to come as a result, perhaps he thought that the hero to defend against the Others would be of the Targaryen bloodline. So his very action, his thought, would have been to protect the realm and to fight on the side of the living, to ensure all live another day.

Which...would in turn make it a very selfless act.

I dispute the part about Lyanna here, and for very obvious reasons:

The reason why Jon was told the story of Bael the Bard and the Winterfell flower he had plucked was to tell him the story of his parents. Lyanna is very much so tied to blue winter roses:

Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him. "Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood. (Eddard XIII, AGoT)

Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses. (Eddard XV, AGoT)

...and Rhaegar to being a bard:

"Prince Rhaegar's prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance." (Daenerys VI, ASoS)

The tale says this:

"No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says...though if truth be told, all the maids love Bael in them songs he wrote. Be that as it may, what's certain is that Bael left the child in payment for the rose he'd plucked unasked, and that the boy grew to be the next Lord Stark. So there it is—you have Bael's blood in you, same as me." (Jon VI, ACoK)

The son in this story is analogous to Jon, though Jon will not be a Lord Stark, but the next King in the North, for a time, at least, legitimised by Robb through his will.

But beside that, there are a lot of deliberate blank spots in regards to the true story of Rhaegar and Lyanna, but it seems to me that George intends to make it a tragic love story.

We actually have a relatively good idea of what kind of woman Lyanna was like by being inside Arya's head, as they are often compared. There is nothing to suggest that either Arya or Lyanna wouldn't be (in Arya's case)/were not attracted to men. Again, this is your headcanon speaking and has little basis in the books.

Wanting to fight and be a knight does not make one less feminine or make one unattracted to men. Brienne is a very feminine character and is brilliant with a sword. Arya does not actively dislike dresses, she doesn't really complain about wearing them, and the only time she wouldn't wear one was when it wouldn't be practical to do so.

They don't know me, Arya realized. They don't even know I'm a girl. Small wonder; she was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. (Arya III, AGoT)

Arya absolutely does not like being called a boy and corrects anyone who mistakes her for one. Here is one example:

"The steel must be part of your arm," the bald man told her. "Can you drop part of your arm? No. Nine years Syrio Forel was first sword to the Sealord of Braavos, he knows these things. Listen to him, boy."

It was the third time he had called her "boy." "I'm a girl," Arya objected. (Arya II, AGoT)

Not fitting the gender norms does not make one more or less feminine or likely to be lesbian/gay/etc, it just makes one refuse to be put in a box that society makes for them.

Well, that's quite literally the thing. We *don't* know the nature of Rhaegar and Lyanna's story, or why he did what he did. Lyanna, it appears, was the Knight of the Laughing Tree.

*My* particular headcanon is this:

On the ground the sleeper sat up beneath his furs. Jon slid his dirk free, grabbing the man by the hair and jamming the point of the knife up under his chin as he reached for his—no, her—

His hand froze. "A girl."

"A watcher," said Stonesnake. "A wildling. Finish her." (Jon VI, ACoK)

In a similar way that Jon was hesitant to kill Ygritte after discovering that she was a woman, perhaps Rhaegar felt the same after discovering Lyanna was the Knight of the Laughing Tree. And admired her for it.

There isn't anything in the books to suggest Rhaegar was "a monster," to Lyanna or to Elia.

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mormonbatmanlover · 7 years ago

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What Should Never Be

This chapter was incredibly difficult to write for many reasons. Mainly because I’ve never written the Stans interacting.

Partially because I had no ideas the path I wanted it go down. And partially because it’s still the rising action, and that’s usually the most painful for me to put together.

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it!

Next time, it’ll be lots of action, lots of pain, and (hopefully), lots of heart.

According to his watch, Ford had been unconscious for either twenty or forty four hours. Trips into the mindscape always drained him of his strength. His legs buckled under him as he tried to stand. He just sat there, ruminating on the events of the past few days. Bill had another plan. Another way to take control of this dimension. Despite all his efforts, Ford was still losing the battle against the demon.

Yet, there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe if Ford could get Stan’s help, together they could stop Bill. Take back their lives and rescue the world from Armageddon. It was a million-to-one plan, but Ford was willing to try nearly anything at this point.

How was he supposed to find Stan? Ford had neither the time nor the resources to drive around the country, knocking on every door.

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. The post office! It was how he located Stan the last time. He would have to distract the workers and go through their files. After compiling a list, he could find phone numbers and hopefully track down Stan.

He went to the post office and set off a minor explosion outside the door. The staff and other customers having been thoroughly preoccupied, he slipped into the back. He grabbed a key from one of the employee’s desks, so he could return after closing.

As night fell, he hesitantly crept in the rear entrance and got to work.

He didn’t want another felony on his conscience. Though, to be honest, it was far from the worst thing he had ever done. And it was for a good cause, after all.

The most logical choice was to contact his brother’s associates, starting from last month. He figured they would be eager to rat Stan out, especially if there was a promised financial reward.

Hours bled together as he went through dozens of files, none of them leading him anywhere.

Unsurprisingly, most of these “gentlemen” were in prison. Others had no addresses listed. The ones he did call swore colorfully at the mention of Stan’s name and threatened Ford with bodily harm.

Neither he nor Stan had made any friends in school, which ruled out that possibility.

The only other feasible option was to reach out to their former teachers.

Most of the teachers had liked Ford, with his thirst for knowledge and great intellect. His twin, on the other hand, had been suspended more times than he could count. Ford sighed irritably. This was just going to be another dead end.

Only one name stuck out to him. Mrs. Levowitz. She had been their English teacher in 10th and 11th grade. She was the one who realized that Stan learned in a different way than most students. It was the only class that Stan had ever looked forward to. She was kind, gentle, patient, and beautiful. Ford blushed deeply as he remembered his crush on her. How did someone so talented and loving end up in Glass Shard, New Jersey?

She had married and moved to northern Utah a few months before graduation. If Stan had gone anywhere for support, it would be there.

He didn’t bother to call. It would give Stan the opportunity to disappear without a trace.

It was a six hour drive to Logan, Utah, but the stillness and solitude of the open road caused time to move slowly. Ford worried that he would never find his brother. Stan could’ve gone anywhere in the world. He could be living off the grid, for all he knew. But he also knew that there was too much at stake for him to quit trying.

As the sun was setting, he found himself in front of the Levowitzs’ house. It was small, but looked warm and cozy.

He reached out his fist to knock, but stopped a few inches from the door. Maybe it would be best if he just left. Stan obviously didn’t want anything to do with him.

Ford steeled himself and knocked. What was the worst that could happen?

A tall, broad-shouldered, but benign looking man of about forty opened the door.

“Does Mrs. Levowitz live here?” Ford asked politely.

“She does. I’m her husband. Something I can help you with?”

“My brother, Stan, and I used to be her students. I lost touch with him and believe he might have come here.”

Mr. Levowitz pondered for a moment. “Well. There was a man who showed up last night. Looked a lot like you. Said he needed a place to stay until he could put his life back together. I was hesitant because the last drifter who stayed here stole some money from our safe. But I let him in. This morning, there was no sign he had ever been here. I don’t know where he was heading.”

The news felt like a slap to the face.

“Thank you for your help.”

The older man shot him a look of sympathy and closed the door.

Dejectedly, Ford drove back towards the interstate. What was he supposed to do now?

The trip must have taken a lot out of him. He thought he saw Stan’s car parked along the street.

Passing by it again, the resemblance became uncanny. The color, make, and model of the car were identical. It had the same scratches and dents. Even the most of the stains on the dashboard seemed familiar.

It was a clever plan, but Stan forgot one thing. His brother didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

After several hours of waiting in an abandoned parking lot, Ford was ready.

He snuck back to the Levowitzs’ residence, careful not to alert the neighborhood dogs to his presence.

It was time to finally have a face-to-face talk with his brother.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Someone was tapping, rather obnoxiously, on the bedroom window. Stan rolled over in bed and tried to ignore the sound. Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?

No dice. The tapping became full-on pounding at the glass.

He hauled himself out of the warm blankets and trudged over to the window.

He had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn’t just seeing his own reflection.

Nope. His jerk of a brother was standing there, shivering and whacking the window with his abnormally large hands.

“Stan!”

“Go away.” Out of all the times Ford could’ve shown up, why did he have to choose now?

“Let me in!” Ford stopped pounding and nodded towards the lock on the inside of the window.

“I said ‘Go away!”

“Why should I?”

“Well, for one thing, I’m about five seconds away from slugging you.”

Stan rolled up his sleeves to show that he meant business. Obviously, Ford didn’t believe him, because he just kept staring eagerly at the window latch.

“I need to talk you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Please? It’s freezing out here. Just let me in for a few minutes.”

Stan huffed, but opened the window.

His brother climbed through and sat on Stan’s bed.

They stared irritably at each other. Stan had to turn away. His brother looked more dead than alive. There was such a mixture of pain, anger, and hope in Ford’s dim eyes. His face was haggard and covered in bruises.

“It’s four in the freaking morning. Why are you here?” Stan wasn’t angry, just exhausted and annoyed.

“You refused to come to me. What else should I have done?” He rolled his eyes at Stan. Who was this man and what had he done with Ford?

“That doesn’t cut it. If you’re going to stay, I need a good reason to talk to you.”

Ford took several deep breaths and recounted his story. “For the past seven years, I have been studying anomalies in a small Oregon town. I was attempting to find a reason why Gravity Falls had a high concentration of oddities. About a year ago, I hit a roadblock. My grant money had almost run out and I was no closer to reaching my goal. That’s when I met Bill. He was a powerful dream demon who claimed he could help. He gave me directions on how to build a portal into another dimension. I later discovered that he wanted to use it to start an apocalypse……”

Stan couldn’t believe it. His brother told more outlandish lies than he did. Doubt must have been painted all over his face, because Ford was glaring at him.

“What? What did I do this time?”

“You obviously don’t believe a single word I’ve said.”

Stan snorted. “I’m supposed to believe a dream demon gave you directions to a portal that would end the world? Ya can’t out-con a conman. Thought you’d know better than that by now.”

“Stan. I know that it sounds insane. Heaven knows there were times when I thought I had lost my mind. But you need to trust me. Bill knows where you are. I had to promise not to fight against him so he wouldn’t possess, then dispose of you.”

“You still haven’t told me diddly-squat about why you’re here.”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “I was about to explain, when you so rudely interrupted.”

A million smart-alec responses came to mind, but Stan kept his mouth shut.

“We need to go back to Gravity Falls and follow Bill’s instructions perfectly. Take some time to earn his trust. Meanwhile, we’ll plan how to destroy, or at least incapacitate him.”

Stan raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. What happened to following the rules and sticking to your word?”

“Stan! The fate of humanity rests on our shoulders. Now is not the time to be making ridiculous jokes.”

“Admit it. You missed me doing that.”

Ford coughed something that sounded like “So what?” and resumed.

“So what do you say? Will you help me save the world?”

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.

On the one hand, Stan had finally found somewhere he could be happy and maybe make a new life for himself. Ford was selfish for wanting to take that away from him, among other reasons. On the other,

Ford did look like he’d been through one heck of a year. He might be telling the truth. Maybe saving the world would heal their relationship. And if they died, it would be in one last blaze of glory.

Stan should’ve known that his life would always be one of misadventures and life or death situations.

“Fine. On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Let me sleep for the next couple hours.”

“Sounds good to me. I don’t think we’re going to get much shuteye for a while.” As if to prove his point, Ford yawned several times.

Stan flopped gratefully onto the bed and snuggled into his pillow. Ford stood up and unlatched the window.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Stan demanded, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I was going to sleep in my car. I promised to leave, didn’t I? Anyway, I don’t want to risk having to explain to the Levowitzs what I’m doing in their house.”

Yeesh. Ford sure could be an idiot sometimes, for all his supposed smarts.

“Come here.” Stan motioned to the other side of the bed. He wasn’t going to let his brother sleep outside in the cold.

Ford looked surprised, but said nothing. He pulled off most of his clothes, and huddled in the blankets.

He instinctively squished most of his weight against his younger brother. Stan wanted to object, but Ford was already out like a light.

It was like they were kids again. Whenever Ford had had a nightmare, or failed a test, he always ended up in Stan’s bed. He would curl up against Stan, and Stan would pet his hair and tell him a story. They would fall asleep, embracing each other. No matter what happened, they could always rely on each other.

It took all of Stan’s willpower not to smile. He had to face facts. Things weren’t the same. They were now two very broken men. Life had chewed them up and spit them out. He didn’t know if things would ever be the same between them.

Ford began whimpering in his sleep. He looked so small and vulnerable. Stan took inventory of the scars and burn marks that covered nearly every inch of his brother’s skin. Bones had broken and been set incorrectly. His breathing was harsh and irregular.

Stan whispered soothingly, as their mother had done so long ago. After a minute, the whimpering hushed to gentle snoring.

Stan rested his head on the pillow, and watched Ford struggle to get comfortable. Pity filled his chest.

“Oh, Sixer. What did that piece of crap demon do to you?”

#Still very long #Don't know how that happened #I thought it would be 1500 words max #It's over 2100 #stanley pines #the real stanford pines #gravity falls

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Do i need insurance on my 150cc scooter in WI?

do i need insurance on my 150cc scooter in WI

""I have just passed my driving test, I am 17 years old and I need help on car insurance?""

I know it is very hard to get cheap car insurance for 17 years old and a new driver, but surely out there is a good deal for young drivers and isn't too expensive.""

Rough estimate of my car insurance cost?

24 year old male, no accidents/tickets, 2010 bmw 3-series or 2010 audi A4 With that in mind, what's a rough estimate of what the car insurance would cost?""

Poll: How much do you pay for auto insurance per year?

could you do me a favour and also tell me what kind of car you drive, age, and gender? don't worry not trying to stalk anyone or something, I just want to see what do most people pay for insurance. I don't know much about what's a good or bad price, all I know is the rate for the car I want and I want to see what it is compared to other people's rates. if you don't want to answer you don't have to because I know some people might not be comfortable saying this stuff to strangers. also any offences? thanks!""

Cheap Car insurance ?

I am 17 and had 2 crashes does anyone know of cheap car insurance cheer

Till what age can we get health insurance?

I want to know the upper age limit for purchasing health insurance.

What is the Benefit of an insurance company selling a new for old Policy?

And... Why is it important to them to have the correct reserve... I already know a few reasons, but I'm revising and my mind has gone blank! Please can someone help? I'm normally very much on the ball.. but its just left me! Thank you""

Poll: Do you have health insurance?

Do you think you have a 'good' insurance plan?

Would it be cheaper to put my name on my parents insurance ?

would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver instead of my own as i got the cheapest quote as 3000 euros for my own policy would it be cheaper to put my name as an additional driver on theres? my parents have 25-28 years experience with no claims ?

""How much would an insurance company give me to repair Keying damage, three hood dents, and 3 areas of chips?""

My car was badly vandalized about a month ago and i made a claim to my insurance company. I originally decided to take my car into one of their many One Stop shops, where i would only have to pay the 250 dollar deductible and have my car completely repaired. Since then i was laid of from work and have been going through alot of money trouble. I have been considering just having an adjuster come out and write a check for the damages and repair only some of the damage at a friends shop. My question is... how much would the adjuster write off for... Deep key scratches down to the metal, a line all around the car. (20 feet) Three dents on the hood (about 6in diameter) three areas that where hit, and began to chip( about 5in in diameter each) It seems desperate. I know, because i am. I would appreciate any answers, please do not judge me and this situation, i'm just curious if it would be a somewhat wise decision. If you have nothing nice to say, please refrain from commenting, im depressed enough as it is. Thanks!""

2000-2001 Mitsubishi eclipse insurance?

I am 15 and will be getting a car soon and i was really liking the eclipse, but i have heard that the insurance for it is a lot. Could anyone tell me what a normal car insuance rate would be (say a sedan), compared to the eclipse??""

CheapEST foreign cars to maintain? (Audi / Lexus / Volvo / Volkswagen )?

Which of these cars is cheapest to maintain? (Oil changes, brakes, tune ups, insurance, etc) I realize they're all foreign and they'll all cost more than a Ford would. But which is cheapest? Which is most expensive? Please help! I need someone with experience! Thank you so much!""

Can my mom insure my car if her name isn't on the title?

Right now I am driving a car my mom bought so only she is on the title and she insures it. I just bought a new one and was wondering if I put the title of the car in my name, can she insure it under her name. I just turned 19 and if I got a policy by myself in my own name I would have to pay more than twice as much as I do now (I give my mom the money for insurance its just under her name).""

Affordable Dental Insurance in NY?

I live in Queens NY and I have no dental insurance. My mother works but she doesn't make a good amount and my father is unemployed. She has medical insurance, Aetna, but it doesn't cover dental and I need to have 1 stupid root canal done and it will cost 2000 w/o insurance. Anybody, I need help. I am also a student in college, so any help, I really need it.""

What is 20 year term insurance?

Is it a good kind of insurance. I will be 49 in two months. Does it mean if I die outside of the 20 years it doesn't pay off?

Help With Residency and Car Insurance?

If my mom lives in Arizona and I live in New York and my car is in her name and so is the insurance and I am just a driver on the car then if i change my residency to New york and she stays in arizona will it be an issue? I have my car with me in new york (going to school) but the insurance doesn't know that. Can i change my residency to new york withouth having to change the car insurance if it's under her name and i'm just a driver? anyone explain please because im paying out the butt for tuition because i'm 'out of state' even though im not just because my mom doesnt want to mess with the insurance

Will like to know what car insurance company is the most affordable?

whats the most affordable car insurance out there? any one know's ?

Life Insurance?

What is the best life insurance?

Does Medicare or Health insurance work in other states?

If i lived In............. Rhode Island would my health insurance work in another state like Massachusetts.

""Where can I get cheap car insurance? I'm a first time driver (female, UK)?""

I passed my driving test last month and im about to buy my first car. But I have not got a clue about car insurance. Where can i get cheap car insurance for a female, first time driver?""

Car insurance rates in florida?

I lent my friend my car in florida and the car broke down he called for assistance and the tow truck hit the car will my car insurance go up i have geico

free instant insurance quotes

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-do-people-think-insurance-companies-make-lot-money-jacob-williams/"

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groovyeggdeputyscissors-blog · 7 years ago

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I’ve been through a few Presidents in my day. This piece is about my own personal top-of-mind-awareness, the first thing that comes to mind, when I think of each. It is not intended to be historically correct, and ignores any scandalous events, or otherwise, that may have surfaced after each’s Presidency concluded. Additionally, I will most likely omit many achievements. This is only about what comes into my mind first, not a lesson in history.

Dwight Eisenhower, President 1953-1961: My age range during these years was 4-10. My first recollection of Dwight Eisenhower was at the age of 5, living in Libertyville IL My mother was as much a hard-line a Democrat as my father was a die-hard Republican. Eisenhower was running for re-election against Adlai Stevenson of Maine. My father would walk around singing, to the tune of Whistle While You Work from Snow White: “Whistle while you work, Stevenson’s a jerk” which would, obviously, get my mother riled. The Cold War was escalating, everyone was afraid of nuclear war, and air raid drills were common in schools in most parts of the country. Schools in Illinois at the time didn’t bother with air raid drills; we had tornado drills, which were basically the same— siren sounds, head for basement, line up against the wall.

Before we moved to Illinois, and lived in Massachusetts, WBZ TV in Boston aired a local kids show, Big Brother with Bob Emery. As a member of the show’s “Small Fry Club”, I wouldn’t miss an episode. Each day, at some point in the show, Bob would stop the show, sit in front of a portrait of Eisenhower, Hail to the Chief would play, and we kids in TV land would all raise our glasses of milk and drink a toast to the President.

That’s pretty much all I remember about President Eisenhower, except that, looking back, there was a tremendous respect for the office in those days; President Eisenhower was somewhat of a hero to us kids.

John Kennedy, President 1961-1963: Kennedy’s campaign for office began during what I refer to as The Younger Years. His actual short Presidency occurred during The Middle Years. The main differences between those two periods are ones of consciousness and learning. My recollections of his run for office begin at age 10; first impression: I never realized Presidents could be young and have hair. I remember Richard Nixon sweating profusely during his debate with Kennedy. I remember being in Maine at my Grandparents’ (father’s side) summer home and hearing my Grandfather, who was, in retrospect, the equivalent of a Christian Right person today—just “born” not “born again”—saying that the country was in real trouble if a Catholic were elected to office. I also recall my father’s response that he never again wanted to hear my Grandfather talk like that when we kids were around.

It was during Kennedy’s Presidency that I realized what the Cold War was— it was hard not to—the Cuban Missile Crisis, Nikita Khruschev pounding his shoe at the U.N., my father building an actual fallout shelter of concrete bricks, to specs, in our basement, and storing food and water in Army Surplus, air tight containers. It all added up to destruction of that innocence and security only children have.

I remember being in awe of Jacqueline Kennedy because she spoke a gazillion languages. I was actually watching TV when Marylin Monroe sang Happy Birthday to JFK, and remember thinking, at the time, that something was really odd. I also recall that Caroline Kennedy went to Concord Academy in Concord, Mass., the next town to Acton, where I lived. Concord Academy was right across from the Concord Library where we kids went to do research for school papers. I remember Cape Cod, Kennedy boats, and touch football.

I was 14, in school study hall, when the teacher/monitors all began crying. Shortly after, the Principal addressed the school on the loud speaker system: John F. Kennedy had been assassinated. It was one of those moments you never, ever forget— a moment when you absolutely know that the world, as you have known it, will never again be the same.

Lyndon Johnson, President 1963-1969: Seeing LBJ sworn in aboard Air Force One was a moment that stands out in my mind because nothing like this had ever before happened. But, as that was happening, I had also entered into my early teenage formative years. The folk movement, Bob Dylan, music in general made “thinkers” of much of my generation. Gone was the acceptance of “my country right or wrong” thinking that had prevailed up until this point. It had been replaced by general pessimism, and total distrust of our government in general. Involvement, activism, protest became dominant attitudes and actions, fueled by a never ending Viet Nam war we knew was immoral, to say the least. We saw a Vietnamese person executed, shot in the head, on live TV. We experienced a military draft system that would most certainly catch up with us as soon as we graduated from high school, with then sole purpose of placing us in that war. We saw the injustices and awful consequences of racism in this country. And, we were going to do something about it.

When I think of LBJ, I think of the First Lady, “Lady Bird”, because the name was so different. I remember him holding a dog, a beagle I think, by it’s ears. I remember that he became the first “blah, blah, blah” President, meaning that every time he was on TV, all I heard was “blah, blah, blah”. There were two exceptions: First, when he announced that he was sending ground troops into Cambodia, and, second, when he announced he would not run for re-election. I watched both in the TV room in my dorm at college. The first announcement drew shouts of anger, the second loud cheers.

It was on Johnson’s watch that Viet Nam continued to escalate, that MLK was assassinated, that Robert Kennedy was assassinated, and that Mayor Daly of Chicago unleashed the hounds of Hell onto demonstrators outside of the Democratic National Convention. All of the programs Johnson initiated with his Great Society legislation went right by us. Our focus was on the ongoing horrors of war, both outside of, and inside our country.

Richard Nixon, 1969-1974: I spent a good part of the summer of 1968 at a friend’s house in the South Bronx, NY. Word on the street was, if Richard Nixon got elected, there was going to be an all out revolution in this country. Obviously, that never happened. My immediate recall of Richard Nixon was his nickname “Tricky Dick”, which is pretty much how many felt. His presence on TV was not a pretty sight; every word he spoke seemed insincere, scripted, almost laughable. Yes, he was the first President to visit the then People’s Republic of China, and yes, Nixon was responsible for signing legislation that founded the EPA in 1970, and had the voting age in the U.S. lowered from 21 to 18, and yes, he did end the Viet Nam War. But, images of the Vietnamese people left behind, and the way they were left behind, still haunt me. Watergate, of course is my most profound memory, as is Nixon’s final departure from DC when he was forced to resigned from office.

Gerald Ford, 1974-1977: There are only four things I remember about Gerald Ford: First, he stabilized the country with his calm presence after the Nixon debacle; second, he pardoned Nixon; third, a woman tried to shoot him; and fourth, Chevy Chase on Saturday Night Live continually imitated and made fun of Ford, stumbling and bumbling in almost every SNL episode.

Jimmy Carter, 1977-1981: Possibly the most genuinely caring of all the Presidents in my lifetime, Jimmy Carter did not come across well on TV. Often overshadowed by his Brother Billy, whose seemingly redneck shenanigans often dominated the news, who actually launched Billy Beer as a result, Carter had his hands full with an economy that went into double digit inflation and, of course, the Iran hostage crisis and a failed rescue attempt. Inflation in this country was so out of control in 1979-1980, that, in the advertising business, we often couldn’t advertise prices in an ad for the following week because they would have risen so much. I remember Carter virtually shutting off credit in this country to help slow the rate of inflation— I actually played golf with the president of a Gardner, MA bank to procure a mortgage for my first home in 1980— the mortgage rate was 16% APR, and people thought I was lucky. On the positive side, I do remember the Camp David Peace Accords, in my opinion, the best achievement of the Carter years.

Ronald Reagan: 1981-1989: By the time Ronald Reagan became President, I already had almost a quarter century of hearing “blah, blah, blah” every time a President spoke, and had reached a point of skepticism where I automatically figured anything said by a U.S. President was, at best, less than being close to the truth. So, here we were with an actor turned governor turned President of the U.S. I wasn’t at all surprised. His fatherly presence was endearing to most in this country. I had a rapidly growing business and young family at the time, things were relatively calm, so the Reagan years more or less slipped by uneventfully. I do remember that Reagan was “The Teflon President” because no matter what happened under his watch, it seemed to deflect away from him and onto someone else. I recall Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev working out the INF Treaty, which really was the beginning of the end to The Cold War. I remember often wondering if Ronald or Nancy Reagan were calling the shots. And, of course, I remember Saturday Night Live.

030114-O-0000D-001 President George W. Bush. Photo by Eric Draper, White House.

George H.W. Bush: 1989-1993: By the time Bush Sr. was elected President, my skepticism toward the office, and government in this country, had reached a point where it came as no surprise to me that an ex- CIA head was now our President. Yes, he signed the Americans with Disabilities Act and The Clean Air Act. But, he also initiated the first Iraq war. I don’t remember much else except for Dana Carvey on SNL. He did great impersonations of Bush.

Bill Clinton: 1993-2001: I remember Bill Clinton running against Bush Sr. because here was a guy running as a “cool” candidate, wearing shades, playing sax on TV, using every Hollywood means possible to attract young voters. He appeared to be a symbol of change after 12 years of relatively old, conservative dudes in the office. But, my memories of Clinton are not fond, beginning with Whitewater, and continuing through the Monica Lewinsky show. Yes, some good things happened under his watch: 6 million new jobs were created in his first two years in office, he cut taxes on 15 million low-income families and made tax cuts available to 90% of small businesses while raising taxes on 1.2% of the wealthy. Yes he signed the Family & Medical Leave Act, and the Student Loan Refinance Act. But he also signed NAFTA, and initiated a 3 strikes rule that has imprisoned many, particularly African-Americans in this country. And, when people slated to testify against him were found mysteriously dead in a park, when he played semantics, looked straight at the camera and said “I did not have sex with that women”, those are the memories I retain most, and the types of recollections that have helped to bring my respect lower and lower as President after President has served.

George W. Bush: 2001-2009: When I think of W, I automatically picture 911. As when JFK was shot, I remember exactly where I was: In a client’s office for an early meeting when someone from the office came in and said a plane had just hit the World Trade Center. I went straight home from the meeting to put on the TV, just as the second building was coming down. This was another time I knew things would never again be the same.

When I think of George Bush, I think of The Patriot Act, and all the rights we lost as a result. I think of Dick Cheney in his secret office, and still wonder if it was his job to give instructions to W from a shadow government. I picture the second war with Iraq, based on “faulty intelligence”, a war that lasted from 2003 until 2011, if you believe that it actually ever ended. I also picture a war with Afghanistan which began in 2001 and still continues to this day in 2018. I remember Bush signing the biggest tax cut in American history, benefitting particularly the wealthy. I remember the beginning of the biggest economic crash since 1929. I picture, and prominently hear, “blah, blah, blah”.

Barak Obama, 2009-2017: At the sake of unleashing a firestorm, to me, Barak Obama was the biggest disappointment of any of the Presidents in my time. I expected little, and got less, from the others. I always argued, when he was running, that no matter who was President, nothing was ever going to change, but deep down I was hoping. Yes, he ended the 2008 Recession by extending Unemployment, initiating the American Recovery & Reinvestment Act, and pumping 241.9 billion of our dollars into the economy. Yes, he passed the Affordable Care Act, resulting in 95% of the population having some form of health insurance. Yes, the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform Act regulated big banks and created Wall Street reform, and yes, Obama signed the International Climate Change Agreement.

But, right off the bat, when many of Bush’s Cabinet Members were reappointed into Obama’s Cabinet, I got that bad feeling all over again. Billions of tax payers’ dollars were pumped into economy, yet the people who stole the billions, resulting in the economic crash, kept their spoils and were never held accountable. The Affordable Care Act was, in my opinion, nothing close to Universal Health Care, which many major countries in the world enjoy. The Black Lives Matter movement had to evolve, under the watch of our first Black President, which, to me, is ludicrous. Maybe I’m being overly hard with my recollections of his Presidency, but I expected better.

Donald Trump: 2017-present: So now we went from a movie actor turned governor turned President, to a Reality TV Star and real estate mogul who millions of right wing Christians believe God sent to be our President. Seriously…there are no words.

Twelve Presidents later, what’s different?

Perhaps it was childhood innocence and ignorance that had me so excited to run home for lunch and “toast” the President each day. I think John Kennedy, right or wrong, maintained a level of respect from supporters, and detractors alike, that has not existed since. My personal respect for the office has declined continually, President after President, to a level where I have none at all. Pessimistic? Yes. Optimistic? Not at all. Perhaps, after Trump leaves office, someone so great, so inspiring, so motivating, and so driven to change this country for the betterment of all of it’s people. will appear on the scene, and the office will again deserve some respect. But, 12 Presidents later, I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for that day. And, I have to wonder, if my respect has declined to such a low point over the years, how does the rest of the world now view the office, and our nation?

12 Presidents: My top-of-mind recall I've been through a few Presidents in my day. This piece is about my own personal top-of-mind-awareness, the first thing that comes to mind, when I think of each.

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