#This is the best apple I've ever eaten

[freaktea]

I appreciate mealy apples

[toriaaniin]

The Jive

The following is a recreation of a conversation I had the other night with a friend from one of my group chats. Yes, even when I believe in Luke and Nicola as strongly as I do, I suffer from little brain niggles that feed doubt. I'm so very grateful for my chat groups because even though my friends and I regularly review all the info we know, talking it out loud can make all the difference.

Jive with me!

"Let's talk about it again." "Again? We talked about Luke and Antonia as a couple last night." "Yes please. How are you feeling? After last night's talk with the group, we all left feeling good. But how are you feeling now?" "Feeling doubts. Brain niggles." "Yes. Yes; those damned brain niggles. So let's talk about it again. Make it make sense." "You know we never can make it make sense. The pieces don't jive." "You're right; let's try again anyway. Where do we start?"

We start in the present and move back in time. We start back on NYE 2024 and move forward in time. We start in the middle somewhere because why not? With every starting place - forward, backward or round-about in time - we encounter a glitch, or confusion, or a hurdle, or a "no fuckin' way!" or... well, no matter where we start, the pieces just don't jive.

"Let's start in the present day." "Okay. Cool."

We pause and then step gingerly (because yuck, groan and LOL) into a discussion of recent Luke & Antonia sightings like the People Pap photos (clearly arranged) and the Yungblud concert (weird - with, as usual, no IG acknowledgement of a possible evening spent together by either of them. Luke shared a photo of he and his long-time friend Dom/Yungblood. Obviously Dom was Luke's priority for the evening).

"It's all so baffling and confusing! After watching Luke, most especially, and Nicola at the SAGs..."

We find ourselves happily reminiscing about that evening, and the days afterward. We laugh at Nicola's scramble on the following Monday to redirect the narrative to "my buddy", Jake's seemingly emphatic use of the period as punctuation (how I laughed when the Jakola's decided that was a love message!), and then the unexpected (but I feel strategic) follow of Antonia's IG.

"Hey! We've gotten off track. We're supposed to be finding a way to make Luke and Antonia work as a couple." "I know... but we can't compare apples (the best fruit ever) to dog shit. Luke & Antonia have no energy. No light. "Yep. The pieces just don't jive."

We have no choice but to admit that SAGs throws a wrench into the Luke & Antonia narrative, especially given the images published of the two of them together. Dog shit indeed.

"Let's try again." "We've been trying this since the BOSS event on January 30th and you know where we end up. Every time." "Yes, I know. The biggest stumbling block of all. The one golden nugget that kills any and all Lutonia jives."

Yes. I said golden nugget, as in the ultimate breadcrumb. A breadcrumb that can't be eaten by birds like in the Hansel & Gretel fairytale. Something that - when not ignored or obtusely explained away - is tangible.

At some point in the last days of January through to the first days of February, Nicola had a baby. I've read a lot of blogs that laugh at us for suggesting this reality. For me and for many with eyeballs in our head, photos like these tell the story. Plainly.

"There's no doubt that Nicola had a baby. You know that I believe Luke to be the baby's father... but is there a chance he isn't?" "Based on when we believe the baby was born, he was conceived back in late April or early May 2024 during the world tour. Sure, Nicola could have been seeing someone else at the time, but I wonder how he would have felt watching the chemistry between Luke and Nicola? Like that time when she was practically sitting on his lap during the long-sofa livestream (approx April 10)?" "Yes! And during the Australia leg of the WT? Luke couldn't keep his eyes away from Nicola's cleavage in that black dress! "Luke?! How about when he saunters out in that monochromatic beige coat, tank and pants, whips his coat open? Nicola was definitely NOT staring at his eyes then!" 🥵🥵

Bottom line is, if we don't consider Luke, there's no evidence of a significant person - a lover - in Nicola's life back during the time of baby's conception, during the whole world tour OR since. No, I don't count her friend Jake in this role. If I'm pushed on this possibility, and I willingly ignore Jake's preferences: Nicola's friendship with Jake isn't actively reflected in the media until late August... well after the August "Chaos Week" activities and the repeated Luke-coded content shared by Nicola on IG.

Luke being the baby's father jives.

"Let's not forget the polaroid photo of her and Luke in Nicola's phone case. We first saw that in Australia." "That's right. I remember her flashing it during the Taylor Swift concert back on June 21st. And of course she's had a possible Luke photo in her case ever since." "I wonder how a significant non-Luke lover would feel about Nicola carrying around a photo of her co-lead in her phone case, right where she can see it multiple times a day, for this past year?" "She even shared the polaroid phone case photo in her 2024 IG photo dump - mirror selfie in Skims, looking sexy, with her phone case clearly visible. Talk about a Luke breadcrumb!

Luke being the baby's father jives.

So what's with Antonia? Did Luke and Nicola break up before the baby was born? After all, Luke took Antonia to the BOSS event on January 30th... right around the time that Nicola's baby... their baby... was born.

"All I can think of is yuck! That's not the Luke that Nicola has described to us." "I agree. The Luke in People's 'Sexiest Man Alive' This/That video showed a lovely excitement when he described 'fairytale ending': 'Happily married; end of season 3 vibes'. Complete with a love-goofy gaze over at someone (Nicola, of course!)." "Don't forget the Claddagh ring. It hasn't left her left hand since October 1st, and of course the left hand with the heart facing inward signifies marriage." "Well... except for that one time in Paris (Jan 26-28) when she moved it to her right ring finger. I think that's because in those last days of pregnancy, her hands were swollen so she shifted it to a less swollen finger." "Heck! During the SAG interview on January 25th when she declared that she and Luke were 'just friends', she was flashing that ring (on her left hand) around!" "We saw it back on her left hand after Paris. Nicola is married with a child and all clues make Luke the father. All tangible indications (ring [ring truther!], polaroid, SAGs energy, This/That video, audiobook Misdirected [possibly released on Baby Newt's due date, Feb 4th], and other clues) are that Luke and Nicola are together to this day." "But what about Antonia?"

What about Antonia. How about I ask you this. When Nicola and Luke were having their baby, what were we in the fandom talking about? The BOSS event and Antonia. Misdirection. Pure and simple.

We have no idea of all the particulars and the whys. "Why her?!" laments get us nowhere. When we look closely at the "relationship" between Luke and Antonia though, we see nothing that jives. It doesn't fit. To my way of thinking (like many here on Tumblr), this is a contractual agreement only. Don't ask me or anyone why. All we can do is speculate. I've done some research and I've looked at it critically... and while I believe I have some understanding of possible whys, it's still bloody confusing!

My recommendation? Accept the fact that we don't know the whys, and we never will. Accept the fact that a contract exists because groaning about it will only take us to a place of frustration. Simply recognize that there is nothing in a Luke and Antonia "relationship" that jives. Then laugh when you see them in papped photos!

To my way of thinking, Nicola and Luke's baby means their relationship is real. It's always been them. Now it's their little family. This reality is what keeps me here!

We all know what we saw. Luke and Nicola jive. They define jive.

Aaniin Xxx

[lulu-bin]

Thinking about Lawrence, he's my baby gorl fr fr

He listens to a lot of indie and goth bands/artists like This Mortal Coil, The Tear Garden, Fiona Apple, The Smiths, Radiohead etc.

Classical music is a given, because 1: it's calming and 2: it's good for plants

Listens to nature ASMR too

Does laundry like once a month and has to do it at the laundromat (I've been there and it sucks)

Washes his sheets maybe every three months, but he does have an extra set just in case.

Showers at most 3 times a week, he's got a physical labor job so he sweats a lot and might take 4 if he's feeling spunky (the thoughts I have on this are insane)

His diet in canon is... Awful to say the least. He can't cook to save his life and also doesn't care what he puts into his body.

Lawrence has eaten mold on accident, and a few times on purpose.

He's definitely not poor by any means, he gets by and could afford a better apartment and food and honestly better clothes but he hates change.

Lawrence has lived in that apartment since he was 19 and moved out of his parents house. It was the best that he could afford at the time.

He just hates change and the idea of packing his stuff and moving makes him want to curl up and die.

Spends a lot of money on plant care, and things off the dark web like drugs and illegal/invasive plants.

Lawrence has such a low sex drive, and the oddest things get him going.

Definitely on the asexual spectrum, he'll have sex but it takes a while for him to want it.

Has only ever had sex once, and it was embarrassing and awkward for both him and the girl he was with.

Bites his nails and lips, picks his skin and when he's extra anxious he'll chew on his hair.

Prefers getting high over getting drunk.

Is a decent enough artist, and enjoys making charcoal art.

[altocat]

Angeal and Genesis finally take Sephiroth to Banora au 🙏

Sephiroth has been emotionally preparing for this trip forever. He's genuinely excited. He never gets to travel for fun and would love to see a taste of country life away from Midgar.

The first thing on the agenda is to make sure Sephiroth stays FAR away from Genesis' parents. They would eat up all his time giving him the grand tour, basically using his visit as free publicity for their business. Every time they come to snatch Sephiroth up, Genesis intentionally creates a huge distraction while Angeal whisks Sephiroth away.

Sephiroth loves the sunny weather, orchards, and country hospitality. He could get lost in these trees forever.

Angeal has him finally meet his mother Gillian. Sephiroth is shy, naturally. He ends up dumping a ton of praise for Angeal and commending her for raising one of the finest soldiers in all of Shinra. Gillian looks proud of her son, but there is a sadness in her eyes that Sephiroth can't quite read.

Angeal also introduces Sephiroth to his father...but it's a gravestone at the far end of town. Sephiroth gives Angeal some time to talk to his dad alone...since it's been a long time since he's visited.

Genesis shows the barn where he and Angeal used to hang out in as kids. And the makeshift fort in the woods, somehow miraculously still standing after years of being away. None of them can fit inside.

Gillian cooks for them, Sephiroth and Genesis for once not squabbling due to their mutual admiration and wanting to be on their best behavior.

Gen's parents finally catch up with them and somehow brought the local press with them. Genesis gets genuinely angry, especially now that there's cameras flashing everywhere. He grabs Sephiroth's wrist and just books it for the woods. Angeal "accidentally" sets off a huge Materia smokescreen and stalls everyone up.

Sephiroth and Genesis wander around in the forests for a bit, Genesis venting about how they're ALWAYS like this--clout chasers. He hates being around them. They never understood him. They were always in it for themselves.

Sephiroth just listens, head cocked, watching his friend with concern. Things are starting to make a little too much sense.

It's quiet for a bit, Genesis and Sephiroth just walking together, silent save for the chirping birds. They find a secluded spot beneath the trees, Genesis murmuring that now's probably as good a time as any. He pulls out two Banora Whites, awkwardly explaining that they came from his family's private orchard. He wanted something less abrupt, more rehearsed. But they'll never find peace so long as his family is poking around town. Might as well enjoy a good thing while they have it.

Sephiroth takes the fruit, hesitantly taking a bite. Genesis watches him expectantly, no snide quips, no poetic recitals. Simply curious, somewhat nervous.

"It's...good."

"Yeah? Really?"

A nod. "Really good. Better than I've ever had it."

"Grew it myself. The tree, I mean. Planted it when I was six."

"You did well."

"Did I?"

Sephiroth leans back, nodding earnestly as he takes another bite. "Really well. I mean it, Genesis."

"Heh...Gift of the Goddess."

They rest beneath the tree for a bit, eating the apples, enjoying the nice afternoon breeze. Genesis' eyes are wet, though Sephiroth never notices. They'll have to head back into town eventually to collect Angeal. Assuming the mob hasn't eaten him alive. But for now...this is nice.

And possibly the best day of Genesis' life.

[the-ace-with-spades]

I'm in the middle of a renewed obsession with cooking shows (kitchen nightmares, top chef but mostly polish editition hell's kitchen; also, watched burnt, the movie with bradley cooper, again...) and cooking for myself again (not as good...) and my top gun brainrot consensus is

I need a Celebrity Chef! Bradley AU.

An AU where he and Mav still stopped speaking when the papers pulling thing happened and Bradley left for college but when Bradley didn't have much choice but to either cook his own food (alone, without Mav's help for the first time in his life) or to starve on his college budget, he discovered some ridiculously good cooking skills there.

And you know, maybe he started a part-time job in some restaurant that went onto some equivalent of kitchen nightmares and the chef being the face of that show saw something in him and offered him mentoring and then when said chef was offered leading a new hell's kitchen/master chef show, he was there as one of the team sous chefs.

Or maybe he's one of the contestants and he either wins or he is good enough that he catches the chef's eye and gets to work and train under them. And maybe then he becomes new season's sous chef as well.

Imagine Mav turning on the TV one evening to see if he can make the new cooking show into his new guilty pleasure and seeing Bradley's face on the screen.

But I need this AU mostly because I fully believe that when they meet one way or another (either through Mav or sometime before the TGM timeline by accident) Jake has no fucking idea who Bradley is. He doesn't watch TV, he doesn't eat fancy food, and Bradley totally doesn't look like the type (hawaiian shirts, old jeans, too chill, lives in a house that looks like it hasn't had new decorations or furniture since the 80s) so when Bradley tells him 'oh I just work at a restaurant, nothing exciting' he just assumes he's a waiter or a barman or something. At that point, Bradley has his own fancy restaurant (Michelin-starred), regularly makes it onto the TV screens and is a celebrity.

So Jake would do all those ridiculous things before he finds out --- try to impress Bradley by making him burgers from supermarket ground beef, telling him his ravioli is not that good when Bradley cooks for him, taking him on a date out to a hole-in-the-wall taco place, blatantly criticizing his apple crumble because 'it has nothing on his ma's apple pie' and he might or might not have said that Pizza Hut is an okay place to go eat on a date. (And, you know, Bradley was absolutely charmed by the confidence and the dumbassery and everything in general just being so Jake, and it's not like he's a total culinary snob, he remembers how he was raised, etc).

It'd be even funnier if Jake finds out through Mav. Like, Mav asks the team to come to a dinner with his family and Bradley is holed up in the kitchen and Jake like a good southern boy asks if they need help with the food and Mav goes all, "Oh no, don't go in there, he's going to eat you alive if you even think about offering to help. My kid is some big fancy chef, he barely lets me help."

And then Bradley comes out of the kitchen with the amuse-bouche (kinda, it's not like they're in a restaurant...) and Jake has a surprise of a century because one, Bradley is Maverick's son?? and two, he's a chef??

Jake and Bradley have a little back and forth about it and then the whole squad is like, "You're dating the Bradley Bradshaw? And you, sir, your son is the Bradley Bradshaw?" because they recognize him from the TV.

And Jake finds out that not only is his boyfriend his CO's kid, he is also a world-renowned celebrity chef. And then the daggers are 0h-ing and Ah-ing at the best food they've ever eaten and Jake still goes, "I've eaten better steak."

And Mav, who has seen Bradley's rage and heard his rants about people having no taste tenses up until Bradley laughs and says, "Will do better next time, baby."

Years down the line, Bradley always repeats in the interviews that his husband is his toughest critic.

Maybe he's even asked to be the face of a new hell's kitchen-like TV show and one of the challenges for his contestant is cooking something his husband will like. Also, maybe cooking something from Mav's recipes in a way that will remind him of his childhood...

(Bonus points if Bradley is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict person non grata just like Adam from the Burnt movie... also, maybe it was Mav who kicked his butt into recovery??)

[chasedbyatlantic]

when you wash your hair, joel miller

summary: IN WHICH — you decide to surprise a sleeping joel after you've been working all day outside of jackson's walls, but it doesn't go as you plan.

warnings: gender neutral x joel miller, post outbreak!joel, jackson!joel, mentions of you and joel in a relationship, sub!joel, joel has ptsd, joel almost hurts reader (doesn't tho so dw!), lots of fluff at the end, cute ending, lots of swearing, ellie being annoying as per usual LOL. lmk if there’s anything i missed <3

wordcount: 2.6k

a/n: hiiii this is my very first fic on tumblr! i have been obsessed w/ tlou for the LONGEST time now so why not start writing for my fav fictional mass murderer? anyway- hope u guys enjoy! i plan to post a ton more so stay tuned xoxo

—

You had just finished an ungodly long shift along the outskirts of Jackson, keeping everyone inside safe from- well, whatever lay outside (scary squirrels, mostly). It had been so different since you arrived, with Joel and Ellie. For starters, you weren't kept on edge every single second of every single day - Joel was, which you always got pissed at him for, since you two were more than safe inside these walls. There was also the fact that life had sort of just- resumed, after twenty years of fighting for your life. It was alright, though, a sense of normalcy was nice, even if it were to only last for a little while (you were hoping it lasted forever).

As soon as you were inside the gates of Jackson, you rode over to the stables in which your horse, Leo, was housed at. The big wooden doors were opened by a stable hand that looked no older than Ellie, maybe she knew who this was, you thought to yourself.

You had slid the kid a small "thank you." as they closed the door behind you, and you hopped off Leo. You reached in your bag and scrounged for a second, before pulling out an apple core, the remains of the apple you had eaten earlier. "Here boy," your hand raised towards the horse's snout with the leftovers in-palm, and he took it as if it were the best thing in the world.

Leo munched away while you swapped his bridle for a halter and lead, tugging him to his freshly-mucked stall. He had walked over to his water bucket and you moved with him, undoing his girth and removing his saddle. It was hoisted over your arm as you moved out and locked his stall. "Excuse me," You called over to the stable hand that had let you in as you put all of his tack on the stand in front, "Do you mind brushing him down for me? I've had a long day and gotta get home quick."

The kid nodded their head eagerly, which had earned a smile from you. You weren't lying about having a long day or needing to get home quick - besides, you had always stayed after your shifts, right now you were just craving to see your favourite person (and a warm bath too, you had guessed).

You had removed your gloves as you took one last glimpse at your boy before you left him to be taken care of by the stable hand. As you walked out of the stable, you were greeted with a nice breeze. It wasn't exactly winter yet, but it sure as hell wasn't summer. Autumn was close on finishing, which only meant the days were getting longer.

It took you a mere twenty five minutes to walk back to the Miller residence. If you had a little pep in your step, it would've taken no longer than fifteen. But, being up since before sunrise has its cons. Anyway, it isn't your fault that Tommy and Maria (Joel's brother and new sister-in-law) placed you guys in the farthest house literally ever.

As you approached closer to the home, you could see the familiar little (she would kill you if she heard you describe her as little) girl. The girl took notice of you too, "Fucking finally!" Ellie had kicked up her skateboard, grabbing the tip of it, and came running over. "Jesus Christ, I thought you had got eaten by like- fucking bigfoot out there!", She seemed to be only half-joking.

"I was not eaten out there, Ellie." You sigh as you messed her hair up slightly with your hand, "Is Joel still out on patrol?" You had asked the girl. Her face dropped, earning an "ugh!" from her. "You two love birds are gross. You should care more about me than him! He's a frail, broken, old man while I'm a super cool, and totally awesome young person." You rolled your eyes, an automatic laugh escaping your lips. "Another half an hour out here, Elle. It's almost sundown- and please be careful, for fuck sakes. I don't want to be popping your kneecap back in place because of a fall off that- board."

You weren't Ellie's mom, and you didn't mean to take any place of a motherly figure in her life - it just, sort of happened. After what had happened in Salt Lake City a year ago, and you had fought for Ellie back alongside Joel, you couldn't help but grow so much more attached to her- you and Joel both. This is when your motherly instincts (you were never a mother, not before or during this apocalyptic world) kicked in. You both shared a special bond, one that would never be broken, despite the cruel world you both live in.

A small grunt and a "fine" escaped the girl's lips as she flips her board down and kicks off down the street. You shake your head with an almost disapproving look and walk down the rest of the block to your home. A small smile plays upon your lips as you approach the house with a mailbox at the bottom of the driveway that reads "MILLER". Your last name was not Miller, but you were in a relationship with a Miller, so that could maybe, in the slightest, count as your name too.

Your hand brushed past the rusted metal box as you walk up the paved drive way, you're excited to see Joel. Hell, it feels like it's been an eternity since you've seen that man - when in reality, it's only been since this morning. You climb up the wooden stairs at the front of your porch and remove your boots before entering the house - this saved horrid amounts of mud that would scatter in the small foyer of your home. Once your feet are out of your dirty boots, you silently enter the home.

The door was never locked, not when Joel knew you or Ellie weren't home. You didn't know why he kept it unlocked- maybe in case something had happened and you needed to get home fast, or in case you would lose your keys while out and about. It wasn't that big of a deal, though; nobody else lived in this part of the town (besides Tommy and Maria, who were distant neighbours).

It was dead silent when you entered, too eery for your liking. "Joel?" You called out as you shrugged off your autumn layers. No response. "Joel?" You call out once again, moving to where you had seen the light. You approached tip-toeing, starting to get a bit on edge. Joel was always there to greet you when you got home, unless he had patrol duty himself. As soon as you step foot in your living room, all of the previous worries you had melted away as you saw your favourite person curled up on the arm chair, sitting back and mouth open slightly. You wish you had a camera, god a polaroid of this would be amazing.

You approached him, quiet as ever, sliding the sleeves of your soft-knit sweater over ninety percent of your hands. You had brought your face closer to Joel's once you were close enough. The smell of his vanilla and rose scented shampoo had engulfed you. Joel said he hated it (in reality, he definitely did not), but if it made you love him a little more, he would wash his hair with it.

"You're perfect, you know that." You whisper to him, even though he was sound asleep. From the faded freckles over the bridge of his nose from being out in the sun too much this summer, to the small scars that littered his forehead from years of just surviving, he was perfect.

You breathed hushly as you moved your hands up to his face, to cup his cheeks. You thought it was perfect, for him to wake up to you (as if he didn't every morning) at this moment. You knew he missed you when he wasn't with you, he told you multiple times. This would be a nice thing to make his day slightly better, you had thought. Your fingers made soft contact with the flesh on his face - but, this is where it all went wrong.

Joel had shot up from the deep (well, you thought deep) sleep he was in and grabbed the hands that were touching his face. It hadn't registered to him that it was actually you who was touching his face, and not a clicker, or a raider, or anything else. Rage and a sense of fear filled his eyes as they shot opened, eyebrows furrowed as they looked around frantically - he was ready to fight.

A loud grunt and an "ow." escaped your lips once your hands were grabbed and yanked. It had happened within a blink of an eye. You weren't exactly in the mood for getting manhandled in this current moment, but here you were. "Joel- hey, hey, it's just me. You're okay." You spoke quick, trying to pry him off your hand.

It was now that his eyes had met yours, and it took him a moment (which felt like eternity) to process it was you. "Baby.." His grip immediately loosened and his eyes fell. He looked horrified, at himself rather than anything. "M'sorry." There was a tone in his voice that made him sound ashamed, like he had just broken bad news to someone he loved.

"Don't apologize to me, Jesus Christ." You spoke almost too fast and brought your hand to his face again, you felt bad for scaring him awake- your plan had massively backfired. It took Joel a minute before he melted into the touch of your hand in his cheek, something he will only do when it is only you and him around each other. "Shouldn't have been sleepin' while you weren't home." He muttered, his eyes looking everywhere but at yours.

Your heart ached, he shouldn't feel like this- fuck, you're so stupid for doing this you thought to yourself. "Don't apologize baby, hey-" You brought his focus to you, and only you, "-listen, you're alright, okay? We're safe here, you know. I'm safe, Ellie's safe, you're safe." You reassured the man in front of you. "If you want to sleep all day without a care in the world, you can do it."

Joel was being extremely vulnerable right now- and he knew that you sensed it. This part of him never came out, he was always the strong one in the relationship (not that you weren't, he just had that aura linked to him). Your finger rubbed back and forth over his cheek. "M'sorry for waking you from your nap- I was just too jealous of how peaceful you looked. All comfortable in your blue sweater.." your eyes started to trail down his body right in front of you, "-your sweatpants.." you snapped yourself out of the trance you had fallen in, your eyes reaching back up to Joel's.

He was just quiet, in his own thoughts. "Ya'know I love you." you told him. He looked like he snapped out of his own thoughts once you said this to him, the smallest smile known to man appearing on his face (it was genuine, though). "I know, darlin'." This was your cue, you reached forward and placed your lips onto Joel's. Now this, this was home- god, you could've had your lips on his all day for eternity. Joel melted into the kiss, and placed one of his hands on your thighs.

Things had got heated between the two of you within seconds, suddenly the positions were switched and you were straddling Joel on the armchair in your living room. It wasn't until you tore apart from his lips that it hit you. "Ellie’s going to be home soon, baby. We can't have her catching us like this- not again." You tell him as you catch your breath. His lips find your neck, he only hummed in response. After a moment of no proper response from him, you tap his shoulder, "Seriously, Joel!". He had grunted, basically forcing himself off of you. "So let her see us, not like she don't know 'bout it." He muttered, leaning back in the chair you two were in. "Oh, suddenly you're mister PDA?" You asked as you got up, stretching.

He said something under his breath that you couldn't catch, but chose not to pressure him about it. "But hey.." You grab his hand and help him up, "Maybe you could help me in the shower, hm? Let me borrow some o' that good smellin' shampoo ya' got? Wash my hair for me?” Your eyes met his, a smile completely lighting up your entire face. "I'on mind, doll. Maybe you could help me with a few things too," He reaches down, pressing a wet kiss onto your lips.

You take this as the perfect time to slip your fingers between his, and lead him up to the second floor of your large house. Even though you had completely scared the shit out of Joel earlier, and you thought you were a dead man for a split second, he forgave you. He always forgives you - this is why you love him.

Joel had promised you that he would always stay, no matter what had happened between you two. After years of being together, through your ups and your downs, through your serious arguments and your little scares (like this), he was yours. Joel was always yours, and you were always his.

You two come laughing down the stairs, completely soaked from the shower you had taken together. Joel was back in the clothes he wore when you got home, and you were changed into one of his shirts and a pair of sleeping shorts you had. He had his hand in yours as you lead him down the stairs. Before you could even step foot on the first floor, an "ew!" was yelled by a familiar voice.

"That is fucking disgusting- I cannot believe it! I can't leave you two together for more than thirty minutes before you turn into fucking rabbits. I may as well start thinking about names for the baby!" Ellie over exaggerates, acting completely disgusted from you and Joel holding hands.

Joel shoots Ellie a death glare as he drops his hand from yours momentarily, about to open his mouth before you interrupt. "Do I need to send you to your room, or something? You're so fucking crazy Elle!" You had let the little nick name slip out of your mouth, "You know I would never do anything unholy under the same roof as you." Well, you weren't lying. You and Joel never did it while Ellie was there, you didn't want anyone hearing what happened while you two were alone.

"Don't care, that's gross! Dinner is already made, I am GOING TO BED!" She had yelled as she was already half way up the stairs to her room on the second floor. Joel's hand snaked around your waist from behind as you tsk. "We got stuck with the most batshit crazy kid, I'm telling you."

Joel's hand tightens a smudge when you say that, "I love her though, and you I guess." He rests his head between the crook of your neck and slightly lets go once you add that. Even after the little bicker between the teenager, you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

Even though you were in the midst of an apocalypse, life couldn't have been anymore good to you. They gave you Joel, and you were content - more than content - with it.

—

when you wash your hair, matt maltese

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Enver Gortash Musings 14

Warnings: mentions of child abuse, children going hungry, slavery, etc. basically just Enver's childhood, mentions of trying for a baby.

For the first two months of your marriage, you only saw the Enver Gortash that the world saw. The charismatic, calm and collected leader. The man who led Baldur's Gate out of chaos and into progress. The man who sat at countless balls, dinner parties, and after noon teas making idle chatter and slowly manipulating every noble with surgical precision.

Eventually the mask slipped a bit.

You tried to avoid areas like Enver's office and workshop, as a courtesy. He was a busy man with a schedule more rigorous than any noble you knew. Moments with him were rare, early on.

You sought him out one night, late after dinner. He was in his office, scribbling away on paperwork. You had assumed he was right handed when you were wed, as he motioned with his gauntlet hand often, but he always wrote with his left hand. You knocked softly at the door, "Lord Gortash? May I speak with you?"

Enver looked up, his tired eyes twinkling with a bit of a smile. "Oh? Is this when my long suffering wife comes to tell me I've been neglecting her? Begs for my attention?"

You scoffed, walking in and sitting down across his desk from him. "Not at all. I had afternoon tea with Lady Beckett today, and her husband is making some concerning comments about you."

Enver leaned back in his chair, his quill forgotten. "Oh? Indeed?"

You nodded, "Yes, he's been saying- wait. Have you eaten today?"

You had taken your lunch at Lady Beckett's estate, and had been so full from her offerings you didn't have dinner. From what you remember, the chef had said that he didn't need to cook at all that evening.

That meant...

Enver paused, as if trying to remember. "No."

You stood up, immediately calling down the hall to the nearest servant to have some simple snacks brought up.

Soon you and Enver were discussing the situation with Lord Beckett and how best to go about it over a plate of sliced apples with pumpkin hummus, some cucumber sandwiches, and smoked salmon crackers.

When Enver ate, you almost gasped. He grabbed a fistful of crackers, forgetting the salmon spread, and shoved them into his mouth before chewing with murderous intensity. You stared, wide eyed as before he was even done chewing, he grabbed another handful of apple slices, dipping them in the pumpkin hummus thankfully.

You reached out, your hand a bit cautious, and touched his forearm.

Enver flinched.

A small twitch of his arm that extended upwards, his shoulders moved slightly away from you, his head even beginning to incline away from you as if to avoid a blow. The hand holding the apple slices shot upwards towards his mouth. As if... Guarding his food from you.

It lasted less than half a second, but you had seen. And Enver knew it. He righted himself quickly, swallowing the crackers and smiling at you. A smile that was a bit too forced. His lopsided grin that you secretly hoped was something he only showed you was gone, replaced by his cold political smile.

"Did you want one?" His voice is a slightly higher pitch than normal. You wondered if your heart could break over a man you were sure if you loved yet.

You put your hand back on his arm more gently than you had ever touched anything. "I... I was just going to say you should eat slowly. You could choke."

"I eat fast because I have work to do." Enver said firmly. "I can't waste my time running off and gossiping over afternoon tea."

It stung, as he intended it to. You had glimpsed a part of him he kept hidden and he was punishing you for it. If this was one of your brothers, you would dig your heels in and force them to apologize until one or both of you was crying. But this was your husband. A husband you barely knew. A Banite, a chosen of Bane even. And though you trusted your mother to never harm you, could you trust him to not have a temper towards you?

You stood from your chair, turning to leave the room.

"I haven't dismissed you." His voice is firmer, not shouting but definitely a change in tone.

You stood with your back to him. "Enver, may I leave?"

There's a beat of silence. "Go to my bedroom."

You turn around, looking at him with caution. "... Why?"

"Do as I say." His voice is smooth. Not smooth like melted chocolate, but smooth like the flat side of a dagger. One change of angle and it would slice.

You left his office, walking upstairs to his bedroom. His was two doors down from yours on the opposite side of the hall, and slightly larger. Though yours had a bigger balcony.

You walked in, sitting down on his couch as you waited. He had a sitting area at the front of his room, with a plush couch and a beautiful fireplace that had some crackling embers inside.

Sitting with your legs curled up to your chest, your arms wrapped around them, and your face pressed into your knees, you wondered how bad this would be. You feel like a child again, waiting for your father to come up to your room with his belt to spank you for breaking a rule.

When his bedroom door opens fifteen minutes later to reveal Enver, you let out a shuddering beginning of a sob. You look up, your teary eyes a stark contrast from the shakey grin on your face. "Is this when my mysterious husband reveals his cruel streak?"

Enver's face is unreadable as he sits down next to you. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket, and gently dabs your little tears away. "No. I just wanted to talk."

"We could have talked in your office." You say softly.

Enver sighs, finishing cleaning your face and holds your chin with his thumb and forefinger. "I wanted a moment to collect myself. What you saw was... Not something I intended."

"I don't think any less of you." You say quickly. His eyes bore into yours, a stern gaze that one penetrates your soul. He doesn't know whether to believe you. "Whatever the fine details, you survived. That takes strength."

His eyes soften. He believes you.

That lopsided smile is back, smaller and sadder than usual. "I did, but let's not worry about the 'fine details' as you put it. There's nothing to be gained from you knowing."

"I'd know you better." You suggest.

"I am not that man anymore." He said firmly.

"But you grew from him." You say softly.

"I did." He concedes. "Perhaps one day I may enlighten you. But not tonight."

"I won't ask." You assure him. "If you're ever ready to talk about it, just... Let me know."

He leans down, pressing a kiss to your lips. "What I'm ready for is my wife in my bed. Let's try again for my heir, shall we?"

[journey-to-the-attic]

Apples or oranges, explain your answer>:)

if i think of the best of each fruit i've ever eaten, orange for sure. you ever had a really good orange? it's like a little pocket of divine nectar. it's a big of a hassle to peel but personally i say go crazy and rip it apart with your hands caveman style, it makes the experience that much better

i do like apples as well though... i like them a little tart and not too soft so my favourite kind is braeburn :)

[witherby]

As a non-american, what is apple bees? Like I assume it’s a restaurant but I’ve only heard of their happy hour and it sounds like a cafe? Every opinion I’ve ever seen has been either incredibly good or incredibly bad. What is the apple bees chef

-⏳

It's a sports bar/restaurant with the best fucking quesadillas I've ever eaten. It's good sober. It's good drunk. It's good stoned. I've never had a bad experience at Applebee's. They have this drink called a Shark Bowl. It's like a slushie but for adults. It comes with a gummy shark. It's delicious.

My favorite thing to do is go there, get a shark bowl, demolish the quesadillas, get the broccoli chicken Alfredo to go because I've already polished off a bunch of quesadillas, and also get a side order of bread sticks to go because the bread sticks are really really really good when you're drunk.

And if I'm the designated driver, I forego the shark bowl for a glass of Starry soda cause I don't drink and drive. Never drink and drive.

[jadeddangel]

(SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING)

BUT YEAH like the comment said the first part on the fluttershy one

IVE ALREADY STARTED WORKING ON IT SO YAYYYY LMAO

You and Adam went way back, ever since eve ate the apple and Lilith left him for lucifer. You had taken over caring for the garden and with you and Adam being the only ones allowed back in the garden. You were quiet and didn't talk much to other angels just the animals and plants.

You were sitting in the garden surrounded by animals and plants. You had grown attached to the animals in the same way they had grown attached to you. Your dress was covered in soil stains and small bites taken out of the bottom from goats and sheep. You were humming and spinning happily in the ankle tall grass as you plucked ripe fruit from trees and bushes and even the apple tree, though the apples were made into fertilizer instead of eaten. It was calm and therapeutic almost. This was your heaven.. not those busy streets, just you here alone with nature. That was until you heard a Crack of twigs, and normally you would brush it off but it seemed like the weight was too heavy, you turned around sharply to be met with Adam just a few feet behind you. You immediately stopped dancing your face bright red in embarrassment, " A-Adam!! What are you doing here?" You raised your voice a bit at him. Adam smirked. "awwe don't be shy, girly, keep dancing." I liked the show~" Adam teased, and you felt like you were gonna collapse in on yourself. You shook your head no repeatedly, causing Adam to laugh loudly. "Be careful. You'll snap your neck doing that." You stopped immediately embarrassed from him, calling you out like that. "What did you need, Adam?" You asked softly. Adam shook his head "always thinking that you know me, yknow women aren't supposed to think " Adam said walking closer and poking your forehead roughly causing your head to jerk back from the pressure "Adam please.. I have stuff to do.." you muttered, holding Adam's hand and pulling it away from you. Adam shook his head "Alright alright but don't say nothing when they threatened to burn the witch, I wanted to talk to you about feelings," Adam said begrudgingly "feelings? I uhm.. I don't know much about them but I can listen?" You said softly before sitting down and patting the ground in front of you. Adam sighed. "There's this chick, I've known her for centuries, and to be honest, I really like her its.. hard to be mean to her? It's hard to say mean things and to push her away." Adam ranted, taking deep breaths every now and then. You then put the pieces together " I know how you feel I like this guy he's uhm really mean sometimes and doesn't always treat me the best but he's there" you said meekly before bringing your knees to your chest as you got a bit embarrassed.

Now Adam may be dumb at times but this time he clicked on quickly and smirked scooching a bit closer to her "and if this handsome and oh so amazing man asked you out " Adam nudged you a bit teasing you. With a small nod you hinted that you would say yes. "I'll pick you up tonight we can have dinner at my place alright?" Adam smirked a bit and got up holding his hand out for you to help you up, you took his hand as he tugged her up off the garden floor.

It was a few hours later when Adam went by your door to pick you up (yk that dress fluttershy wears when she turns human? Yea that one) you were wearing a dress waiting just outside your door for him to come get you. Adam turned the corner right before your door and he froze seeing you "woah.. damn butterfly didn't know you dressed up that nice " Adam smiled at you.. a genuine smile.. no mask between the 2 of you

"You look amazing too adam.."

[ask-aeos-company]

Ogerpon and her siblings go up to the trio, Pink holding an apple crate.

Ogerpon: "Hiya!"

Pink came forward holding up the apple crate.

Ogerpon: "We brought apples! Do you want some? Kitakami apples are really big and crunchy and good!"

Oh, I have no idea what are you saying, but...those are lookin' very appetizing. Let's Indie decide what to do then.

Indigo draws an arrow pointing to apple crate and wrote "Eat!"

Gotcha! Let's take and eat them!

The trio pick one apple each. They start to eat it.

T-that was delicious!

Goodness, thosa best apple I've ever eaten...

Mrrp...

Awwie, Indie... You like them too, do ya?

Indigo nods.

[ @the-feral-one ]

[torio12539]

One last spring with you

Summary: You and your childhood friend Navia spend the spring together every year, that is until she engaged.

Tags: Navia x fem!reader, angst, hurt no comfort, historical AU, arranged marriage, forced marriage.

Warnings: None really

A/n: Isn't Navia just the best? *Proceeds to write an entire hurt no comfort oneshot*

07/03/1883

Dear diary

It's almost spring time, I'm so excited, her family is coming here in two weeks and they'll be staying here for three months for the spring ball just like always, I can't wait

21/03/1883

Dear diary

She has arrived today, I couldn't even contain myself when I saw her I just ran and hugged her, oh how I've missed her.

We went to the garden and sat under the big apple tree, we drank tea together and ate some of the apples there like we always do.

Later at night I snuck her into my room after everyone was asleep and we cuddled, it feels so close being to her after so long

Reader's pov: We were sitting under the apple tree, over a picnic blanket drinking tea and eating sandwiches "I missed you so much dear" you told her "I did too, being away for so long, but at least we could write to each other" Navia smiled at you "Of course, oh by the way I have something to show you" you said picking up a small jewellery box "What is it love" she asked "I wanted to give you something to remember me even when we're not together" I told her as I opened to reveal a locket with a picture of us inside "Oh how thoughtful of you, it's perfect, you're perfect" she said, and after making sure no one could see us she kissed me.

21/04/1883

Dear diary

It has been a month since Navia has arrived and I couldn't be happier, we have been happier.

Everything was perfect with her, every day we'll go to the garden, sit under the big apple tree, eat and talk together, we'll pick the apples, and though my parents would never normally let me into the kitchen as it is "not suitable for a lady of my status" as they put it, even they couldn't resist Navia's charm, and we'd bake ourselves desserts using the apples we picked.

though time flies, and I'd hate to see her go again this year, not only that but we were both nearing our 18th birthday, and it meant that soon our parents will find us a husband, and we won't be able to be together anymore, so I decided I'll take matters into my own hands, tomorrow is my family's annual spring ball, there I'll ask her to run away with me, so we can be together.

Reader's pov: The spring annual spring ball is a spectacle to behold, my parents would prepare for it months ahead, food, clothes, staff and decor all have to be the best of the best, the event is said to be one of the best in this region and it always lives up to that. The first hour or so is for all of the guests to meet the hosts also known as my parents mingle together, of course those who attended the ball every year, local elites, business partners and family friends, are already familiar with each other, and busies themselves catching up with their acquaintances, while those who attend for the first time make sure to meet as many people as they can hoping that associating with more reach people will give them a leg up, and get them richer than they already are, and after attending this ball every year of my life, courtesy of being the daughter of the hosts, I find it boring, I already know most of the attendees, and while some of them are nice, I mostly spend my time with Navia. After that, there's dinner, sometimes someone decides to make a big announcement, usually something to do with a business deal or someone who found a suitor for their child announcing their engagement, I never really listened, I didn't really know any of those people, none of those things ever concerned me, until today. Second person pov: After the main course was eaten, as dessert was being served and more drinks were being poured Callas spoke up "I have a very special announcement for you all today" at that you started to pay attention, dread overcoming you as you knew what he was gonna announce. "Me and my wife have found our lovely daughter Navia a husband!" Cheers were being heard but all you could feel was a growing lump in your throat as you were holding back tears Reader's pov I couldn't believe my ears, sure, it was bound to happen that I knew, but it was all too unreal for me, I couldn't have imagined this, but worst of all she'll be getting married, and soon my parents will likely find me a suitor too, and we won't be able to be together anymore, and that thought made me want to cry. The remaining hours of the ball are back to the mingling. Couples are dancing, people are drinking, but most importantly people were distracted and I decided to take the chance and talk to Navia. After we reached a secluded corner I finally asked her "Did you know about any of this?" She looked down, looking a bit ashamed "I did" she answered me "Why? Why did you hide such a thing from me?" I asked, I didn't know what hurt more, the fact that Navia will be married off or the fact that she hid this from me for at least a month for now. "I didn't wanna make you sad, this may very well be our last spring together I didn't want to have this looming over our head, making us both sad, like I said I don't know if we'll still see each other every spring, but I want you to know I love you, and I'll always will" She told me "I love you too" I answered. After that I went back to the big ballroom, and I didn't know what to do with myself, usually I spend this time with Navia, but now I can't even look at her, lest I burst into tears, so I just stood there, alone. I was snapped away from my thoughts by some guy, he asked me to dance, usually I would've said no, but I needed a distraction badly, so I accepted. He seemed like a nice enough guy, though I didn't really care either way, in fact I didn't even remember his name, or if he ever gave it me.

21/05/1883

Dear diary

I spent the last month with Navia well, or at least tried to, even though we did all that we usually do, sit in the garden and talk, or cuddle together in one of our rooms, or go shopping together, or anything really, she was correct, it hasn't been the same, back then I would've been happy to those things with her, spend time with her, be close to her, but now whenever I am with her all I can feel is sad at the fact that this may very well be our last time.

I'll miss her so much

02/06/1883

Dear diary

it has been almost two weeks since her departure and everyday just gets worse and worse as the reality of it all sinks in.

Places and items I would normally feel happy and nostalgic about now make me feel sick to my stomach, namely the apple tree we used to always sit and talk under.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I told my parents I want it chopped off, I can't stand looking at it, the memories it brings were once fond, but now they just feel bitter, I hope it gets better soon.

14/06/1883

Dear diary

It happened, my parents found me a suitor, this is the last entry I'm making, after I finish writing this I'll rip out all the pages and throw it away, I definitely can't take it with me and have my future husband, as much as the thought of one brings me pain, seeing it, and I don't want my parents discovering it, and what me and Navia had, I know they won't take kindly to that

Maybe after this once I'm at my new house, that I doubt will ever be a home to me I could start a new journal, a blank page.

[hazbin-hera0911]

More than anything but Lucifer shares his true thoughts about Charlie

(lyrics)

Charlie: DAD!- you don't understand! I've worked very hard on this project, yet you don't even seem to care! At least mum shared the same interests with me...

Lucifer: She's just trying to mess with you Sweetie-

Charlie: NO, she's not...

*song starts*

Charlie: ~you didn't know that when... I worked on the hotel since... but the sinners took it as an offence!~ ~and in the end... I no longer want to be a laugh... Now you have to help me with everything that you have!~ ~More than anything, More than anything~ ~you have to proof that you love me, more than anything.....~

Lucifer: Charlie, I never wanted you to look at me that way...

Charlie: That doesn't excuse the fact that you've been away from me for- for seven years...

Lucifer: Charlie... ~When you were young, I didn't really know you at all... But I walked down the hall, you found me and you were enthralled...~ ~The dreams on the drawings that you drew, I was proud of it too, hoping someday that would be you!~ ~So, in the end, it's the idea I had with you... You showed me dreams can be worth fighting for!~ ~More than anything, More than anything!~ ~I never looked down on you, more than anything.....~

Charlie: ~I always thought my project would be a delay~

Lucifer: ~If it ever, it'd be a fever!~

Charlie: ~Looks like a snake has eaten a fresh apple today!~

Lucifer: ~Why I am so glad!~

Charlie: ~You are the best, dad!~

Both: ~All that I'm hopin', now that my eyes are open is that we can start again! Not be pulled apart again!~ ~Cause in the end! You are part of who I am!~

Charlie: I hope you'll help me improve this hotel, furthermore!~

Lucifer: ~Why, of course, my dear! For you're who I adore!~

Charlie: ~More than anything!~

Lucifer: ~More than anything!~

Charlie: ~More than ANYTHING!~

Lucifer: ~More than ANYTHING!~

Both: I'm grateful you're my father/daughter, More than anything!~ ~More than anything...~

[gutpile]

thinking about being someone's white trash boyfriend has led me to thinking about how i literally could have been.

my childhood was me running around barefoot in the neighborhood and playing with the menonite neighbor kids. we'd go play in their backyard and take the dogs down to the creek in the woods behind their house and dig for treasures (literally trash and broken glass). then we'd go home and i'd eat lunch in their living room. all the boys wore pants and button up long sleeve shirts, even in summer, and all the girls wore skirts and dresses, and there i was, in my t shirt and shorts and cropped hair, a little tom boy, bad influence on all of them. and we'd pray and get a bible passage read to us, then we'd eat sandwiches with the best home made jam i've ever eaten in my whole life.

my cousins and i would go out to our grandma's trailer every winter for hunting season. our dads would go out and be gone for hours and we'd be left to our own devices. we ran around barefoot in the winter too if there wasnt any snow. we'd use the axe outside to chop up hedge apples because none of us were big enough to chop wood. i came face to face with a coyote for the first time out at that trailer. we were eye level with one another, i was so small and he was so big. we just stared until he slowly trotted back into the woods he had come from. i went inside and thought about how soft his fur looked.

i have a deer skull and a box turtle shell from my grandma's trailer. i tripped on the skull when i was trying to climb into the old barn to find a saddle. my plan was to ride the neighbor's mean ass horse even though he bit people.

i broke my ankle for the first time jumping into a ditch chasing a friend through a little wooded area behind the fields my dad played baseball at. if i wasnt practicing pitching with him, we were running in the woods.

then my parents moved to the suburbs. we were in a richer part of town. my high school had a ski club. something happened and i forgot all about my roots and the life that raised me. i felt like i needed to fit in with the upper middle class kids i was around. i couldnt run around in my favorite pants that had holes i had fixed with other pants and patches from my favorite bands. i had to have the newst fashion trends and ugg boots.

i think i miss running barefoot in the woods and hunting trips and seeing wild animals as equals instead of pests. 25 will be the year i find my roots and find the balance of past and present that makes up who i am now

[inwintersolitude]

- April 3rd 2025 -

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)? Nope. We haven't burned candles since we adopted our birds in 2018. Birds have very sensitive respiratory systems so you can't use candles, incense, strong cleaning products, etc. around them.

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? I'm planning a family outing to a local petting zoo once it's a little warmer out, with my husband, brother, sister-in-law, nephews, and parents. They do private events where you can book a time slot to meet their capybaras and miniature donkeys and chill in the pasture with them. I love capybaras and donkeys and always thought that sounded fun, and I'm sure my nephews would really enjoy it too.

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? My husband, my brother, and the bagger at the grocery store.

Name someone who made you laugh today. My husband.

What was the last form of communication you used to speak to your best friend? (e.g. text, phone call). Phone call.

In 3 words, describe the person you’re currently interested in. He's affectionate, easygoing, and intelligent.

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer? Nope.

If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her? I don't pet her. Parrots see petting any lower than the head as a mating behavior and doing that can cause them to be overly hormonal. I occasionally try to give her scritches on her head, but she hates that haha. She LOVES it when I get really close to her and talk to her, though.

Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song? Nope.

Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter ‘C’. Cottage pie.

Put your iPod on shuffle. What genre is the first song that’s chosen? I'll use the Apple Music app on my phone, since I haven't used any of my iPods in years… first song is classical.

Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? Yes, we own a car and a midsize SUV. They're both dark silver.

Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing? Like in general? Yes. On the exact things I'm wearing right now? Probably not, since I'm just wearing frumpy pajama pants and an old oversized t-shirt and flannel shirt right now.

Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) Attractive, or good-looking.

Have you had any caffeinated beverages today? Yep, I had a cup of Irish breakfast tea.

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? I can't remember. Probably some sort of local seasonal beer.

Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind? Nope.

Find the 7th text message in your inbox. Was that text message from a male or female? Male.

The last person you kissed – are they older or younger than you? He's 2.5 years older.

Think back to 6 months ago – how was your love life? Great. Just as good as it's always been.

Name something you like, that starts with the letter ‘L’. London.

What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? He is one of the kindest, most good-natured people I've ever met.

How many people have you hugged today? One.

Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex? I love my husband's blue eyes and sandy light brown hair. I don't give any thought towards the hair/eye color of other dudes.

Describe your last awkward moment. It was probably at my friend's wedding reception a few weekends ago. I wasn't able to stay in the reception hall very much because the sheer volume level of the speakers was probably going to make my tinnitus flare up (even with my heavy duty foam earplugs in), so I spent a lot of the time just sitting in the room down the hall where my husband and the other groomsmen had gotten ready and were keeping their garment bags. And the photographers and wedding coordinators were constantly going in and out of that room and I'm sure they were thinking "why is the best man's wife just sitting in here alone like an antisocial weirdo" lmao. I eventually went out to our rental car because it was more comfortable. It sucks that I can't attend wedding receptions or other loud events anymore, but it is what it is.

Is there anyone on your mind atm? When was the last time you spoke to that person? Yep. About 2 hours ago. We talked on the phone for a long time after his flight got in and he got to the hotel, before he went to bed.

What was the last compliment you received? My husband said he admired my strength/braveness (in regards to facing these chronic medical problems).

[valentinesparda]

just wanted to say as a fellow arfid haver congrats on the grape liking !! im still really nervous to eat fruits but even just seeing this one post gives me courage. that there are people like me out there. and they are trying so i have to try to. :)

thank you!! i have had a lot of problems with introducing myself to foods, especially fruits and vegetables. most of it had to do with growing up and not having a good support system who is not going to make fun of me for being too afraid to try something new and instead letting me approach it on my own terms and with curiosity. my best friends and my partner especially (who also has food-related sensitivities) have given me a lot of support and pushed to expand my palate. I tend to ask a lot of questions in regards to "what does the texture feel like" and "can you describe the taste" and my personal favourite "can I smell it".

it's been very scary and a very long process, and there will be good examples of fruit and very bad ones that will make you feel like yes I shouldn't have even tried to eat that. but when the fruits are good, they're very good!! like, I've always had problems with watermelon specifically because I'm very very texture-averse with bad experiences in trying them. it tends to be too sandy and like paper pulp for me instead of watery and crunchy and good like it should be.

i avoid things with seeds in them and anything with too many textures (like banana and oranges) so starting small with something like blueberries that can be baked into things, or apples that can be eaten with a topping I'm familiar with (like peanut butter) makes it easier to approach. grapes are like gushers and do not have any extra textures besides the skin and the meat of the fruit, which is soft and watery. I'm quite afraid to try things like cherries or peaches (slimy) right now. I'm also very scared of strawberries.

I've also managed to eat more vegetables with them being added to things I already love to eat!! i enjoy cauliflower when it's added to mashed potatoes because the textures blend very well and the taste is not different at all. and that's not something I ever expected to say out loud.

when you get the choice to try something added into your food, it makes the idea more approachable and easier to absorb, but it will also make it to where it's kind of unavoidable to have to eat the thing you don't want in your food....and I kind of like that. i don't want to be forced to eat but I like knowing that I'm getting it into my diet in a way that I'm (mostly) comfortable with, and because I am able to look at what is going into my food and can control how much of the ~suspicious ingredient~ is going into my food as it's being made, i can be aware of what I'm eating.

knowing that I won't be made fun of or made to feel guilty for not liking it is a plus. :)

i will also be honest and add that even though I say I like grapes now, it is still really hard to want to eat them freely. I found myself sitting with the plate of them in my lap for a little too long getting myself hyped up to keep eating, they're not so bad!! but I wanted to stop eating them. my partner made me keep eating a few more and allowed me to have a treat if I did. it was mini m&ms which isn't very healthy on it's own but I managed to have a pretty big handful of grapes before my small handful of chocolate and it made me confident enough to want to eat them of my own volition. same with when cauliflower is added to my potatoes. even if you like the food it will still be a bit of a struggle to want to eat it / the want to avoid it when you have something else you'd rather eat. the urge will always be present, but you will know that it is better for you to have it than give up now, because you've had it before and it was fine, and it will be fine again.

i hope you're in a place where you are able to explore new foods in peace, it's very hard to do but it is better for your body in the long run!! even if it takes several years to be able introduce new foods into your diet, just one or two used as ingredients is a big step in improvement!!

I am in your corner, it's good to know someone in a similar place and you will be able to have new foods in no time!! 💜💙