#This is the beginning of a whole novel I don't have time to write LOL

[thenovelartist]

The Mystery Man - Ikemen Prince fanfiction

Blame @atelieredux for this story idea that somehow, despite me not being the biggest Gilbert fan, hooked me and refused to let go until I did something for it. Maybe I'm a sucker for single parent AUs and the opportunity of a kid finding their second "parent". (Eyes "Second Chances".) Yeah, definitely...

“My son wants one thing for his birthday. One!”

“And it’s the one thing you can’t get him?” her co-worker deadpanned.

“Yes!” Emma shouted, flinging her arms about. “He wants tickets to go see a filming of his favorite tv show ‘The Mystery Man’, and they’re sold out everywhere.”

“Ohhhh, yeah. I forgot your son likes that creepy show.”

Emma rolled her eyes, then took a step forward when she noticed that the food line she was standing in had moved up. “It’s… not your average children’s show, sure, I’ll give you that. But quality-wise, it’s fantastic in comparison. I’m not opposed to sitting down and watching this with him compared to some children’s programming.”

“It’s creepy.”

“It’s not.”

“The main guy looks every bit the James Bond villain, dressing in black with an eyepatch. My children run screaming from the room every time.”

“Your loss.”

This time, it was her coworker’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Next!”

Emma marched up to the food truck to place her order. It wasn’t common to see them out and about, but one happened to be at the park by the office building today, so she thought “why not?” After placing her order, she stepped off to the side to wait for her food.

“Watch it, kid!”

Turning around, she watched as some middle-aged man began chewing out some kids who looked to be in elementary school, maybe middle school. Their apologies could be heard loud and clear, but the man just wasn’t having it, his voice growing louder and louder by the second.

Even before she had her son, Emma knew she frequently stuck her nose into other people’s business, but this time, her mama bear instincts were just too strong to ignore the situation. Before she could think, she found herself storming over.

“Something the matter, sir?” she asked, putting on her best customer service smile as she placed herself in between the man and the two kids who looked to be on the verge of tears about now.

Just as he opened his mouth, the smell of alcohol hit her, and warning bells went off in the back of her mind. Someone was having it rough if they were drinking mid-day, but that also meant he was in a volatile state where the smallest thing could set him off.

“Stay out of it!”

Suddenly, he swung a hand out at her, one that she dodged only because of how unsteady he was. But that was a good excuse as any to make a swing of her own.

Her fist collided with his jaw, and the man stumbled back into the park fountain.

“Go go go,” she hissed at the kids, shooing them away from the situation.

Not needing to be told twice, the two kids took off at breakneck speed, sneakers slapping loud against the pavement as they disappeared.

“You bitch!”

The man tried to climb out of the fountain, but out of nowhere, a cane tapping against his chest sent the unsteady man straight back in with a splash.

“Now, now, that’s not very polite,” a smooth voice spoke. “You swung out at the lady first, and you have the audacity to say she’s in the wrong?”

With a growl, the drunkard tried to stand up again, but with a tap of the cane, her savior sent the man right back into the fountain.

“Forgive me.” Her savior soon turned towards her, allowing Emma to take in his fierce gaze that was only made more intimidating by his eyepatch. “Are you alright, my lady?”

It took Emma a moment to figure out who this man was, but it was unmistakable. After all, this was her son’s “hero”, Gilbert von Obsidian. “Yes,” she answered, rubbing the lingering sting away from her knuckles. “I’m fine.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Lifting his cane again, he tapped the end against the drunkard’s chest, preventing him from leaving the fountain once again as he collapsed with a splash. “That was quite a swing you’ve got on you. Color me impressed.”

Honestly, she wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. “Uh, thank you?”

He chuckled. “Well, your son surely must be thrilled to have such a fierce mother. I have to wonder if he’s as spicy as you. But that said—” With his cane, he tapped the cussing drunkard’s shoulder, preventing him from so much as getting to his knees now. “—you best be careful. Your sense of duty is admirable, but don’t you think it wise to keep your sense of justice under wraps for your son’s sake? What would he do if his precious mother ended up hurt because she was too selfless for her own good?”

Emma’s brow furrowed. How did he know she had a son? Was he listening to her conversation just now while waiting in line for the truck? She’d sworn she hadn’t seen him, but maybe she wasn’t paying close enough attention.

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, giving her a smile that seemed friendly and calculating all at once. “I am ‘The Mystery Man’, after all. Maybe you should listen to your friend and treat me like the James Bond villain I am.”

With that, he once again tapped the drunkard’s shoulder, keeping him in the fountain and away from Emma. “Now, I’ll bet they’re about to call your name any second now. And entertaining this fool isn’t worth letting your food get cold.”

Words seemed unforthcoming, but she had enough good sense to show her appreciation to this… strange man. “Thank you. For your help.”

His smile seemed to cause his lone red eye to glow. “You’re quite welcome. It’s been a pleasure, Ms. Emma.”

“Order for Emma!”

At the shout, she whipped her head around towards the food truck, where her name had just been called. He really had heard everything, hadn’t he?

Though unsettled, Emma turned back to Gilbert. “Excuse me.”

And she scurried off, his gentle chuckle hitting her ears as she went.

Maybe her friend was right about the creepy thing.

* * *

“Emmaaaaa!”

With a chuckle, Emma turned towards Rio, the front deskman at the book publishing firm she was an editor at. “Hey, Rio. Have you been lonely?” she teased.

“You didn’t tell me you were seeing anyone!”

Her brows furrowed as she tilted her head. “Huh?”

“Huh?”

The duo blinked at each other for a second before Emma shook her head. “I’m not seeing anyone, Rio. What makes you say that?”

“But then…” Scowl on his face, he glanced towards the door before turning a concerned look back to her. “The guy who left this said you were his sweetheart of justice?” Fishing in a drawer, he pulled out a letter, one with her name written in an elegant script.

Curiously, she took it, flipping it over to reveal a wax seal with a tiger on it. One that looked a little familiar.

Wait…

“Did this man have an eyepatch and cane?”

“So you do know him?”

Dread welled up in her gut. This was the same wax seal Gilbert used on his tv show. How did he know where she worked? Was he stalking her? It had only been two days since they happened to cross paths, so how had he discovered so much about her so quickly? “Er… something like that.”

Rio’s eyes narrowed. “Hey, Emma, you know I’m always here for you, right?”

It was impossible to keep the sweet smile off her lips. “I know, Rio. You’ve been too kind to me.”

“You saved my life and got me this job. My thanks will never be enough,” he finished with a wink.

“You got this job on your own merits,” Emma countered.

“The other point still stands.”

Knowing this spiral wouldn’t stop, she simply shook her head. “Okay, okay. There’s no point in arguing with you, anyway.”

With a bright smile, Rio sat tall in his chair, chest puffed with pride. “So, if you need me to walk you home and clarify that you’re not available because you already have a man in your life, then I can do that, too.”

Playfully, she rolled her eyes. “It’s not fair to lie to them, is it?”

Rio sighed. “You’re too nice for your own good. Look, it’s not lying when you have little Cedric. But if they happen to mistake me for that ‘special man in your life’, then I’m not going to correct them.”

With an amused grin, she shook her head. Her son Cedric really was the only man in her life; after a sad parting with his father, he was all that remained. And she was determined to focus on being the best mother she could to him.

Looking down at the letter burning her hands, her curiosity was unable to be stopped any longer. If this was going to be a problem, she really should let Rio know, if only so he didn’t fuss over her for the next three months. So, if only to put his mind at ease, she popped open the seal of the envelope, taking out the letter only for two slips of paper to fall out and land on the front desk. Upon picking them up…

She froze. No way.

In her hand were two VIP passes to “The Mystery Man” show she had been so desperate to get her hands on.

“Wait, weren’t you looking all over for those?” Rio cried upon seeing what they were.

Numbly, Emma handed the two tickets over to Rio to examine as her gaze fell upon the neat script of the letter.

Ms. Emma,

I hope this letter finds you well. However, I’ll wager you don’t care much for small talk, so there’s no point in wasting your time. Instead, I’ll simply say you’re welcome for the tickets. I’m sure your son will have a happy birthday knowing his mother obtained his wish. Truly, what a sweet and doting mother you are.

As to how these tickets find themselves in your possession, it’s simple process of elimination, really. Your bag had a company logo on it. I had been in the park before you and watched you walk from the direction of the office buildings rather than from the parking garage, so with that, I made a simple deduction.

Lastly, I’ll insist you accept them, not that you can return them anyway as I’m not there to take them back. Furthermore, it would be a tragedy to simply throw them away. After all, your son wants these most of all gifts, correct?

I look forward to seeing you again and to meeting your son. If he’s anything like his spitfire of a mother, I’m sure it will be a joy to make his acquaintance.

Gilbert von Obsidian

Lips pursed, she squeezed the letter. That cocky sonova—

“Emma?”

Breaking out of her trance, Emma turned towards Rio. “Huh?”

“I said you were lucky to score those. But who was that guy who gave them to you?”

She opened her mouth, trying to find the answer as she took the two tickets back from Rio.

“A James Bond villain.” With that, she put the letter and tickets back in the envelope.

Well… villain or no, her son would surely be happy. And it’s not like anything could go wrong at a professional show, right?

Right?

* * *

Cedric was, to use his own words, super-duper excited.

Emma did her best to take as many pictures as she could of this event, capturing the unabashed joy on her son’s face.

Then came time where they could go backstage and have a meet-and-greet with the cast.

Cedric could have exploded with excitement, but Emma was filled with a certain amount of dread facing… well, her son’s hero.

And that dread doubled when Emma realized she’d caught said hero’s eye toe moment they stepped backstage.

She took a breath as they stood in line to do the meet-and-greet. They’d somehow ended up being the last in line, much to her son’s disappointment. But she was able to keep him busy by playing “I spy,” and considering they were backstage with a plethora of props around, there were plenty of things to spy.

When it was finally their turn, Cerdic was fidgeting with excitement that couldn’t be contained. Particularly when Gilbert gave him a smile and extended his hand. “Well, well, how wonderful to meet you.”

Cedric bounced up to Gilbert with all the energy of an active four-year-old. “Hi! You’re my hero!”

Gilbert chuckled. “Your hero, huh? You know who is a hero, too?”

His eye widened. “Who?”

“Your mom.” Gilbert glanced up at Emma, giving her a smile that made her a little uncomfortable, if she were honest. Though she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. “I got to meet her once, and I must say, she’s very brave. You must be very proud of her.”

Cedric looked back to Emma, his eyes glowing with love and admiration. “She’s the best.”

Gilbert chuckled, a soft, gentle chuckle that didn’t appear to have any other meaning behind it than true mirth. “I’m very glad to hear it. Tell me, what’s your name?”

“Cedric!”

“That’s a very cool name.”

And just like that, they chatted for a bit. And then a bit more. That’s when Emma started to realize that Gilbert hadn’t done this for any other child, only hers. Which made her slightly suspicious. Emma got the impression that there was much more to Gilbert von Obsidian than what met the eye. He produced and starred in a children’s show, and clearly, he enjoyed being around the children that had VIP passes to meet him. But why did she get the impression that there was something… strange underneath that, oddly, didn’t frighten her. And why was she not concerned that her son was right there, chatting with this man. Idolizing him, even. And yet, she felt secure enough with that.

She best keep her guard up.

“Emma, you should come in for this picture, too.”

Gilbert’s words brought her fully back to reality. “Oh, sure.”

After the photographer took their picture, Gilbert knelt down to Cedric’s level. “It was nice meeting you. It would be cool if we could meet again.”

Cedric looked up at his mom. “Yeah! Can I?”

That dread was back as Gilbert looked over to her. “I can organize it quite easily.”

“No,” she quickly insisted. “I can’t accept your generosity any more than I have.”

“It’s no trouble.”

“No, really. I thank you for the tickets tonight, but I cannot accept any more.”

He hummed, his red eye sparkling mischievously. “Well, that’s a shame. I wonder if I’ll have to simply… forget an invitation at your work again.”

Emma fixed him with the best glare she could while still smiling.

“Oh, no,” he purred. “That’s a scary look.”

And yet, Gilbert seemed to be more amused than intimidated.

“Then, I’ll concede,” he acquiesced. “For now. Cedric, it was wonderful meeting you, but I believe it’s time for you and your mom to go back home for the night.”

“Awww.”

Yet, Cedric said his good byes and got in one hug before Emma guided him out of the studio.

“Did we have fun today?” she asked as they marched back to their car.

“Yeah! It was so cool!”

“I’m very glad.”

And as much as she was loathe to admit, she was very thankful to a very odd eyepatch villain for being the hero of her son’s day.

[niuxita21]

One day I’m gonna write a book. Can you imagine? A novel about everything that you and I have gone through? [Mariana laughs] It would be called “Ana and Mariana.” We’re going to be free soon, and we’ll be able to reinvent ourselves. So I’m sure you’re gonna write that book, and it’s gonna be awesome. We’ll see what happens. We have to let things flow, right? I think your novel is gonna be one of those that are pretty dark. Maybe one of those that are so romantic that you can’t put them down?

[brickmvster]

please don't go (i'll eat you whole) | Leon Kennedy x Reader

synopsis: You make love to Leon before he leaves you.

word count: 1,906

warnings/tags: leon kennedy x fem reader, established relationship, smut with feelings, angst, pre-spain or just pre-mission in general, some light fluff if you squint kinda (i'm sorry), p in v sex/penetrative sex, unprotected sex, aftercare

author's note: i'm gonna be honest. i am a little nervous. more so than usual bc this is my first time writing for leon! i love him so much, he's definitely one of my comfort characters, and i wanted to write something angsty but also kinda bittersweet like this for a loooong time and i finally got around to it. i really hope you guys enjoy, comments are always appreciated <3 this has been proofread more than once, but just in case, any and all mistakes are mine! also, just fyi, i wrote this with re4r leon in mind, but you can imagine whichever leon floats your boat if you really want to lol.

p.s. it's not written in here but pls pee after sex 😭

minors do not interact, please and thank you!

You clung to him for dear life; as if he was going to disappear in front of your very eyes.

You were above him, peering down into his deep eyes. His eyebrows were knitted together in pleasure and his lips, which were currently rosy and swollen after the frequent kisses you had given them, were ever so slightly parted as soft groans emerged from his throat. His large hands never stayed still for longer than a minute – he gripped your waist before sliding them down to your ass, kneading the soft flesh before moving them up toward your breasts, squeezing gently, before bringing them back to your waist, where he helped with guiding your languid movements. You moved your hips like an expert, riding him as if you’d never have the chance to again.

With the rain pattering against the window and a sliver of moonlight filtering through the room, it was almost like a scene from an erotic novel. The room carried the scent of sweat and sex and was filled with the noises that spilled from your lips non-stop. You didn’t even know how much time had passed – but you knew it was late. You knew Leon had to be up in the morning. But you wanted to prolong this moment with him for as long as possible. Leon wanted to as well, as every time he got you close to your peak, he slowed down, dragging out your orgasm in a way that was almost painful, but you enjoyed every second of it.

You were growing tired, your legs beginning to shake as your rhythm became a bit off-kilter.

“Leon…” You moaned, his name coming out so softly it almost wasn’t audible. But Leon, ever so attentive, heard you loud and clear, and he knew what you were trying to tell him.

He flipped you over with ease, while he was still inside of you, spreading your legs further apart and starting up a steady pace. All you could do was grip the bed sheets, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he drilled into that spot that made you see stars. He wasn’t aggressive or rough, but his thrusts were certainly hard-hitting and relentless, and you knew you only had a few minutes.

At some point, you closed your eyes as you tried to focus on your impending orgasm, feeling as if you were in a complete haze – but Leon’s voice pierced through your foggy mind.

“Please look at me.” He said, his low voice sounding a bit strained and even a little desperate; who were you to deny him of what he wanted?

It took a momentous amount of effort, but eventually you were able to open your eyes and keep them open, looking up at him. Leon lowered himself a little, allowing you to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. The slightly different position made his thrusts feel even deeper, and you cried out into his neck, your fingers going into his shaggy blonde hair.

“Keep looking at me. Please.” He said softly, and so you did, maintaining eye contact with him the best you could as he continued to piston his hips into you. Suddenly, Leon was becoming blurry; you could feel the wetness on your face as tears began to fall. Leon often made you cry during sex – he was a fucking god in bed after all and usually made you feel so good that he’d leave you sobbing from the intense pleasure after multiple orgasms. And while that was definitely the reason you were crying now, you also knew that there was an underlying reason for your tears. Leon knew the other reason, too.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” He asked you sweetly, still keeping up his quick pace. All you could do was nod fervently, digging your nails into his back. He always loved when you did that.

“Yeah? My sweetheart is gonna cum for me?” He urged, and the pet name that rolled off of his tongue only made matters worse.

“Fuck, Leon–please, give it to me.” You said, your voice trembling. You felt all of the telltale signs. There was a tight coil forming in your lower stomach, ready to pop like a balloon. Leon could sense this, could hear it in your voice and could feel it in the way your pussy was squeezing around his cock. He raised himself just a bit, lowering his hand down between your legs, using his thumb to rub your clit in circular motions while he continued thrusting.

Leon’s name emerged from your throat so loudly that you even drowned out the rain. Your eyes squeezed shut, your back rising off the bed in a beautiful arch, your climax hitting you in waves. You felt like you were in heaven, the tears falling even more freely from your eyes now. Leon just ogled at you like you were a work of art. In his mind, you were.

He was also close, and mere seconds after your orgasm his own came crashing down on him too. With a few more sloppy thrusts he found himself stilling inside of you, his release filling you to the brim. The feeling of being so full of him was one that you would never grow tired of.

Eventually, you came down from your peak, your limbs feeling like heavyweights. All you could do was lay there and cry some more, letting every single emotion overtake you completely, your sobs shaking your entire body. Leon was comforting you in an instant, pulling out gently and lying next to you, allowing you to bury your head into his chest. The two of you laid like that for several minutes, with Leon cradling your head and rubbing your back.

You did calm down after some time passed, and that’s when Leon tried to get up, but you clung to him again.

“Please don’t go.” You said, your voice small and hoarse. “Don’t go, Leon, please.”

“I just wanna clean you up, okay?” Leon replied, wiping away the wetness on your cheeks. You didn’t even care that his cum was leaking out of you and making your thighs a mess – you just wanted him to stay by your side. But you knew he was just trying to take care of you, so you reluctantly released him.

Leon kissed your cheek before getting off the bed and going to the bathroom. While you waited for him, you tried to keep your eyes open. You didn’t want to sleep, because falling asleep meant that morning would come quicker, and truthfully you didn’t want the morning to come at all. You knew it would be coming no matter what, though – but goddamn it, you tried to prolong it the best you could, even when your eyelids were growing heavier by the second.

Leon came back, now clothed in his boxers (that you didn’t even notice he had thrown back on), a small washcloth in hand, and a glass of water that he set on the bedside table. He pushed your legs apart yet again and wiped you clean, touching you so gently as if you were some kind of porcelain doll. It only made your heart grow fonder. You were going to miss these moments of tenderness.

He made you sit up, just enough so you could drink the water that he had prepared for you. You took a small sip, to which Leon encouraged you to “drink a bit more, sweetheart,” so you did, and when he was pleased, the glass returned to its spot on the bedside table, and shortly after he was crawling underneath the comforter with you.

The warmth of the comforter and Leon’s body next to yours made it even more difficult for you to stay awake. Leon saw you struggling, catching the way you would doze off and then immediately wake yourself back up.

“Please, rest.” He muttered into your hair. You hugged him tighter.

“Do you have to go?” You asked him, even though you knew the answer.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Was all Leon could say in response.

You felt a lonely tear roll down your cheek yet again. But you were far too exhausted to cry some more. Instead, you sat up, looking at Leon intently. He returned your direct eye contact, sitting up himself to lean against the headboard and match your height.

“Promise me,” You started, holding out your hand. Without hesitation, Leon held it, locking your fingers together and giving your hand a slight squeeze.

“Promise me you’ll come back home.” You asked him, like you always did before he left for a mission. Every single time, he would give you the same answer.

“I promise.” He replied firmly. You knew deep down that asking Leon to make promises like this was unrealistic. He never fully understood what he was getting himself into until he arrived at the mission location – and you knew that despite his skills as a trained government agent, accidents always happened, and there was no way to know when things would go awry when he’s out in the middle of nowhere. But hearing him utter those two words before he left eased your worries just enough.

Trusting Leon was always easy.

“I love you.” You said softly, fitting back into Leon’s side perfectly, like you belonged there.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.” Leon replied, before tilting your chin up with two gentle fingers and kissing you with a fiery passion. You two lazily kissed each other until sleep started pulling you into its dark embrace. You didn’t fight it this time, resting your head on Leon’s chest and drifting away to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

The next morning, the two of you shared one last breakfast. You mostly sat in comfortable silence. You asked a couple questions about the mission, but didn’t get straight answers – it was confidential. You knew that already but always liked to ask questions anyway.

Right as Leon was about to walk out of your door, you stopped him. You took a few moments just to stare at him – he was as handsome as the day you fell in love with him.

You brushed some hair out of his face, kissing him slowly, savoring the feeling of his lips on yours for these last few minutes. When you pulled away, you were sporting a warm smile, feeling your eyes sting as tears threatened to spill. You kept them at bay.

“Don’t you dare–” You paused, your trembling lips making it difficult to speak. When you collected yourself, breathing in and out, you continued.

“Don’t you dare ruin this jacket. I love it on you.” You said, referring to the brown leather jacket that Leon had bought himself recently and was currently wearing. He had a tendency to ruin clothing items on his missions, and you hoped this one would survive.

Leon chuckled. The sound immediately filled you with warmth. You were going to miss that sound; God knows how long you’d have to go without hearing it everyday.

“Copy that.” Leon replied, a laugh bubbling out of your throat.

You shared one more embrace. The final hug was one the both of had trouble ending. But it had to come to an end eventually.

And then, Leon was gone. All that was left was a memory.

[miukki960]

Okay, so I just finished Love for Love's Sake and..... I have so many thoughts. I could wax poetic for hours about how much I loved the show, but right now what I really want to talk about is my theory on the ending and the whole concept of the "game."

Please bare with me as I don't make posts like this (or any at all for that matter) often. Please forgive me if it's incoherent, my thoughts tend to run faster than my fingers can type lol.

Here we go!

First, who is the author sunbae? I think he's the embodiment of death. When Myungha wished on the shooting star for 1. Someone to care for him and love him and 2. To disappear,he was wearing what I'm pretty sure is the same outfit as when we first see him in the bar back in episode 1. This leads me to believe Death heard his wish, so when Myungha decides to end his life and regrets his decision in the last moment, Death decides to give him a chance to change his fate.

So he creates the "game" based on a novel he supposedly wrote. I believe this is a false memory he gives to Myungha so he will willingly play the game and try to change his fate. Which leads me to my second point...

Myungha is the author. The show did a very good job at keeping this subtle at the beginning. We as an audience are led to believe he is simply transported into the videogmae world and is at the mercy of the dating sim, but they show us multiple times that that's not the case.

Once, when Myungha mentions that the missions are written in his handwriting, a second time when we get a flashback of him actually writing these missions in a notebook at the bar, and a final time when we see him pen the shows Ultimate Mission using the Author's Pen, "Please make Cha Yeowoon Happy."

I started to get the idea that Myungha was the author back in the first few episodes when we started to see the side missions. Every mission he got screamed to me "this mission is actually for you, not Yeowoon." What was the first thing he did when he was supposed to get Yeowoon more friends? He befriended Kyunghoon himself. Save 3,000,000 won? For himself. Get Yeowoon followers? Using HIS Instagram. Which leads to point number three....

The game Myungha is sent to is actually a reenactment of his senior year of high school. All the characters he meets are actual people in his earlier life, his grandma, Kyunghoon, Sangwon. But in his original "playthrough" he didn't bother to befriend or interact with them, so they went about their lives unaffected, and he forgot they existed. I say all this with the exception of Cha Yeowoon.

Cha Yeowoon is a mirrored reflection of Myungha created by Death and inserted into the game. Myungha said himself at the beginning that Yeowoon was his favorite character because he reminds him of himself. Later on, we learn that their backgrounds are almost identical too. Yeowoon lost his mother, has an absent runaway father, and was raised by his grandmother. Myungha has a dead father, absent runaway mother, and is being raised by his grandmother. So at the beginning when Death asks Myungha if he will change Yeowoon's fate and rewrite his story, he's really talking about Myungha.

Adding to this, I also noticed something rather spectacular narratively in the second half of the show. The whole show, we watched Myungha try and (mostly) succeed at making Yeowoon happy. But suddenly I realized, as we watched him get happier and happier, Myungha was falling deeper and deeper into a sadness rivaling how we saw Yeowoon in the beginning. We stopped seeing the calculations of Yeowoon's affection level, and instead saw error messages and system malfunctions, representing Myungha's emotional state.

Which begs the ultimate question on everyone's minds to be answered. If the whole point of sending Myungha back to his 19yo self and giving him Yeowoon was to get him to love himself and be happy, why were the system malfunctions so devastatingly awful and cruel? Answer: because Myungha is the author, and he's depressed and self-destructive.

He begins to feel happy with the changes he's made, he sees Yeowoon happier and he feels like he's succeeding, yet the countdown message to his death still appears. It's ominous and impending and a constant reminder that he's failing. So as the author, he tries to revert back to factory settings by getting rid of the major changes to his life, Yeowoon and his grandmother. The two people who love him most, and the two people he thinks he deserves the least.

Sangwon said it the best. Myungha's main issue is that he refuses to receive love, both from others and himself. Which is why he fails the game and dies a second time. He followed the missions for Yeowoon and refused to let them break down his own walls like they were ment to.

But Death does see the change in him through Yeowoon. Being Myungha's mirror, Yeowoon represents the change that was supposed to happen to Myungha. So when Myungha (the him he hates) deletes himself in order to make Yeowoon (the him he loves) happy ("please make Cha Yeowoon happy"), Yeowoon is able to go full-meta, breaking through the game and rewriting the mission to "Please make Tae Myungha happy."

Thus saving Myungha and allowing him a third chance at a happy life, where he receives just as much love as he gives.

Don't ask me about the "he comes back disjointed from Yeowoon's timeline" thing bc I don't understand it narratively but it sure does make for a visually pleasing ending.

[mollish-art]

Mollish, what kind of five stars dish are you cooking with the chapter?!

Let me get this straight: You have reached the 100 pages mark, and (if you haven't already past it) have written, atleast, 80k words.

For those who are like "that not a lot", let me put this into prespective.

Firstly, "The Great Gatsby" is a novel that has a count of **looks at Google* about 47k words (if you don't want the unrounded number, there are 47.094), as indicated by the source.

Secondly, a 100 pages are A LOT. It's true that depending on style of the font and how big it is, it can affect the canvas. Let's say that Mollish writes with the standard Calibri 12 Word offers when booted up. A single page can hold an small introduction, a text body about 3-4 paragraphs and a conclusion. All that is about 200-300 words. Do you see what I mean?

Finally, if you still haven't seen what I mean, is that those hundred pages and 80k words are NOT different chapters. These. Are. For. A. Singular. Chapter.

In conclusion, Mollish (aka, you, yes you, the one who is reading this) has written more words than a novel, the book itself is more or less as long as a children's book [a 100 pages is about a half an inch (???) ( about 7 milimetres or 1 whole centimetre)], and is doing all of this for a chapter of a fanfic for an AU about a project a creachur that films themselves playing games named "Ranboo" made, just because she feels like it.

We must appreciate the work and time she has putted behind the writting ( AND drawings) for Unperson.

Let me just say "Thank you Mollish for creating the AU and lending it the time and care it needs to grow."

Sorry for writting the Bibel lol, have a nice day!

PS: Watch Chapter 5 be longer than the other four chapters combined xD.

Awww thank you so much for the kind words!! That's very sweet of you :) I really appreciate it! I'm having such a fun time with the story and I'm just really happy that I have the opportunity to share it with you guys! <3

I know I've been saying it for weeks now, but I promise I'm nearly done! Today I finally hit the 100 page mark and have just passed 42,000 words (making the entire fic nearly 100,000 words long!) :D

As there was so much I needed to do with this chapter (you'll see what I mean by that when it releases), I had to make it really long. I doubt chapter 5 will be anywhere near the same length, but of course I can't say for sure until I'm actually writing it lol

I should be finished with writing Chapter 4 in the next few days, and then I pass it on to my beta reader for edit suggestions. While they're reading it, I can use that time to finish working on the cover art and the (many) website updates that will accompany the chapter itself!

The corresponding audiobook chapter won't be out for a while yet as after I release this chapter I need to actually record an entire audiobook for a client (yippee!!), but as soon as that's done I'll get on to dubbing my own work again (and then of course beginning work on Chapter 5)!

Thank you all again so much for your patience and support, especially through this prolongued hiatus. The wait has been a lot longer than I anticipated, but so is the chapter, so hopefully that makes up for it haha

See y'all sooooooon!~

[irrealisms]

svsss and sexual violence pt. 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this section is about 2k.

(also: shoutout to @rooses40stepskincareroutine for motivating me to actually write all this out!)

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence (you are here) pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society

so, in parts 1 & 2 i talk a lot about bingqiu as a site of sexual violence & shen yuan as a victim. but to establish that this is a theme of the book as a whole i want to talk more about the sexual and sexualized violence done and experienced by other characters! this one will be broken into a few subparts lol

volume 3, chapter 16

one of the things i noticed is that a lot of this ramps up all in the same chapter--in chapter 16 of vol 3 (i'm working with the official translation; in the web novel this is chapters 59-63, and I don't know which parts are in the same vs different chapters), we get four different references to sexual abuse of/by different characters, of varying levels of explicitness. some of these, on their own, i wouldn't necessarily take as evidence of sexual abuse, and i don't necessarily stand behind all of these as definitive proof of sexual abuse for the characters on a fully watsonian level--but to have four references, all incredibly close together, after spending a lot of the book on scenes of sexual assault and sexualized violence, is not an accident of writing, either. this is supporting my take of svsss as broadly concerned with sexual violence, as a text.

the first two happen at the same time, and are the most explicit: old palace master.

No wonder the Old Palace Master had always been so good to Luo Binghe, to an almost unsettling extent. No wonder that Su Xiyan, despite being his most beloved disciple, had held absolutely no attachment to Huan Hua Palace and had readily betrayed her sect to run off with a demon youth without ever looking back. This “love” must not have been much different from molestation. And the Old Palace Master’s favorable interest in Luo Binghe was definitely founded in the shade of a former beloved disciple that the sect leader had seen in him. He had extended his perverse possessiveness of Su Xiyan to Luo Binghe, deluding himself into thinking he could groom Luo Binghe into an obedient darling child.

it is IMO explicit text from this (and from what we hear later of Old Palace Master, Su Xiyan, and Tianlang-jun) that Old Palace Master groomed, raped, and generally sexually abused Su Xiyan. It is also explicit text from this section and the section surrounding it, in which Old Palace Master looks at Luo Binghe like he would touch him if he had hands and talks about how he looks like his mother (there's feminization as a site of sexual abuse again!) and SQQ thinks about how OPM was unsettlingly doting on LBH and that he was "thinking he could groom Luo Binghe", that OPM wanted to sexually abuse LBH in the same way.

It is not canon whether he successfully did sexually abuse LBH in the same way, but, well... I observe that (a) Luo Binghe was part of Huan Hua Palace for a while post-abyss (b) after SQQ's death, Luo Binghe makes OPM into a human stick, which in PIDW he does to SQQ--his abuser (c) OPM comments on LBH looking most like SXY "when his eyes are closed", and it's not like he would have been lacking in access to asleep LBH while LBH was his ~beloved disciple~ at huan hua palace (d) SQQ, known Most Oblivious Man Alive who is terrible at identifying when people are sexually attracted to each other & thinks that LBH (both versions) is Immune To Abuse Probably, after, like, a page of seeing OPM interact with LBH (who isn't even conscious for it), is going "OPM groomed LBH". It's not conclusive, but it's really fucking suggestive. At the very least, he extremely textually really wanted to rape Luo Binghe. We've got some Unsettling Implications going on in there!!!

the third implication in this chapter is Qiu Haitang, witnessing Shen Jiu's past:

“It’s not possible… Not possible…” she said, her lips trembling. “It’s fake! It’s all fake! It wasn’t my brother. My brother didn’t do anything wrong—it couldn’t have been him! You’re lying!”

now, on its own this isn't obviously sexual, and whether the Qiu Jianluo-Shen Jiu relationship was sexually abusive at all is something that is left ambiguous through the end of the book, and which I will discuss further later in this post. But this is a major reference to that relationship, which is...well, whether it was sexually abusive was ambiguous, it's not an unambiguous "no" either. this is my weakest point of the four IMO but put next to the others i don't think it's nothing.

the last implication in this chapter is actually from Tianlang-jun, and it's one I haven't seen talked about at all:

“Peak Lord Shen, don’t forget, your immortal body was in our hands for no short amount of time,” Tianlang-Jun replied, his words quite suggestive and teasing both. “There’s really too much we could have done.”

this is in the context of having forced him to drink demon blood while he was unconscious--something that luo binghe did earlier in the book in a very sexualized manner, which was both emphasizing the threat of sexual assault and deliberately analogous to being sexual assault (it's a very literal, physical violation of autonomy). and TLJ is insinuating (suggestively!) that they could have done more, that they had SQQ's unconscious body for a long time, that they could have done anything with it. his words quite suggestive. again, i don't think we have an unambiguous "TLJ raped SQQ" here; i'm not sure if, on the watsonian level, I think that he did? but certainly we have strong implications and threat of sexual abuse. which, again, we are getting a LOT of. right in a row.

qiu jianluo & shen jiu

okay, i said i'd come back to them, right? it is...never stated that shen jiu was sexually abused. i have read and enjoyed interpretations where he isn't, even. but he was, very much, a slave--someone who has to do whatever their master tells them or get punished. someone who is not allowed to say no. the history of slavery, especially when you look at people who were slaves to families instead of companies/factories, is very obviously full of sexual abuse. one of the word choices i'm not sure if i'm reading too much into is that it refers to the slavers as "human traffickers"--which is a phrase that can be and is used for a lot of nonsexual slavery (construction and agriculture have huge human trafficking problems) but in english it does also have very sexualized connotations such that the first thing most people think of wrt human trafficking is specifically sex trafficking (and the implementation of "trafficking" as a word is very racialized, and the combination of these is such that I generally prefer avoiding it altogether and using "slavery", but that's a tangent). and shen jiu, who is a slave being abused by his master...kills all the men of the qiu household, is afraid of men, and only feels safe around women. his master tries to marry him off when he's fourteen and this is one of the inciting incidents of him snapping and killing everyone! can you read this as "he was, as we see onscreen, being physically abused by qiu jianluo, a man, who didn't physically hurt him when he was around qiu haitang, a girl"? sure, i guess. it's not definitive. but....again, they tried to marry him off when he was 14 and unable to say no; even if it didn't happen, that is enough for me to say that the threat of shen jiu being forced into sexual relationships is present in the QJL-SJ relationship. much like OPM and LBH, it's...certainly extremely suggestive, even if it's not onscreened, especially when paired with the novel's overall themes. i'd also like to draw attention to the following quote:

“Gege, he’s so much fun! No wonder you purchased him even though you’ve always hated bringing in outsiders. I rather like him.” Young Master Qiu smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “I too like him very much.” Upon hearing the word “like,” Shen Jiu couldn’t help but shiver.

(there's also something to say about his relationship with how he's iirc somewhat afraid of men even before the Qiu family buys him, and how his position as a slave begging on the street was also a very high-risk one, and about how his relationship with Wu Yanshi is clearly pretty predatory on Wu Yanshi's part + Shen Jiu at that point has no other support system, but that's more speculative; and there's a quote that i think fits better with the point i make in the next part but which provides additional support for shen jiu as having been raped.)

@regicidal-optimism also drew my attention to another very specific word choice that i'm not sure if i'm reading too much into--

Having witnessed the incident in its entirety, Shen Qingqiu was stunned. Such a brutal first time!

and...this is about SJ's first time killing someone. but "a brutal first time" without specifying is...well, it's a very, very specific wording choice, which is (IMO) clearly evocative of the way people discuss sex.

bing-ge

man i have enough to say about bing-ge (mostly wrt svsss's themes of gender) that it could really be its own full post BUT most of that would be a ~tangent. i'm pretty sure "bing-ge is a violent serial rapist" is, like, uncontroversial and i don't need to get textual evidence there, but for exactly that reason i didn't want to fully leave him out of discussion about sexual violence? so instead in this section i mostly want to draw attention to something that @wolffyluna pointed out to me last month, which is a section from book 1:

The girl thought, “Since I’m about to die, I must leave behind some memories to ensure that my life won’t have been in vain. I don’t have many days left, after all, so I won’t suppress my feelings anymore.” Then, using her weak and fragile body, she pushed Luo Binghe down. Luo Binghe put up a brief show of resistance before telling himself “She did it all for my sake. I don’t have the heart to reject her final wish.” He yielded, still half-reluctant, and went along with it…

this is...not framed by Shen Yuan, or presumably by PIDW, as rape. but it is at the very least dubcon, and it's most likely rape. resisting someone who is pushing you down and trying to have sex with you before yielding, "still half-reluctant", is not. good consent. that's sexual coercion and assault at the very least. but because he's a man--the epitome of masculinity, even! the great stallion novel protagonist, bing-ge!--this is framed as him progressing, as him gaining a wife. which is...really, really horrifying, and once again Says Some Things about how Shen Yuan sees gender. i also recommend these posts which were linked to me today by @rooses40stepskincareroutine about bing-ge and sexual violence!

gender

this is another short section but: something i noticed while writing this up is that the primary unambiguous case of sexual abuse (other than, well, bingqiu, but bingqiu is more complicated for other reasons) is that of old palace master and su xiyan; and that, at the end, when a crowd is decrying su xiyan (for, in large part, having been abused by old palace master), misogyny is a major part of it, and (for obvious reasons) his attempt to coerce her into an abortion bc her child is by someone he sees as a romantic rival is ... a very historically female sort of abuse to experience. given how deliberate mxtx is with gender/feminization and its ties to sexual abuse in svsss, and on a less positive note how few female characters she has, i think the choice to make the one "this character was, unambiguously and repeatedly, molested/raped/sexually abused" a woman who is then subject to sexist victim blaming and entitlement to her body is probably a deliberate one.

[violivs]

NMTDaily: Tricking Ben

This does deviate from the watching as aired schedule, but since the Candle Wasters sent out an email for it at this point in NMTDaily, I will liveblog Tricking Ben.

The short film style makes this the only piece of canon NMTD/LLL content that isn't shot in vlog format. Instead we have the omniscient view on characters who don't know an audience can see them. I am still so sad that I will never see any more scenes shot like this for these characters, because that's the only way I'd have gotten to see all the serious Beadick conversations in Lolilo that I wanted to see.

The film still starts with a fakeout vlog beginning, which is interesting. This is the only time we ever see Pedro independently starting to make a video himself, apart from his appeal to John later on in NMTD, and of course it's to show off Balthazar's music.

HOW is Balthazar allowed to just start playing guitar in the library? How are the boys allowed to have a loud conversation in the library? This whole part is just an exercise in suspension of disbelief that a librarian didn't yell at them.

I like that the colors of the Tricking Ben title card match the colors on Ben's shirt! Fun little detail.

Ben is very awkward around Hero here. They're not yet the friends they will one day be. Aww.

"I bet he has your name saved in his phone with little hearts around it." Yeah, and I bet post-NMTD Ben will have Beatrice's name in his phone with little sparkle-heart emojis all around it!

Ahh, Claudio couldn't meet Ben where he said they'd meet, because then he'd have to walk him right into the conversation instead of letting him overhear it. I see.

Ben is so confused, poor baby.

The books are an Easter egg! The one on the bottom of the stack is called "Benediction", and the next one up is "The Dating Game", I think? The next one up is called How to Love, and the top one is clearly a romance novel by someone called Catherine Coulter, though I can't make out a title. Google says she writes romantic suspense and historical romance. Fitting.

Was that girl looking at books the same actress who played Claudio's new girlfriend in Lolilo? It looks like her. Can you imagine going to the same school as the NMTD crew, hearing all the gossip about what happened to Hero, and then still choosing to date Claudio the next year? Damn, girl.

It's definitely her, that's why they have her say hi to Claudio and Claudio run away from her awkwardly!

Claudio is hardcore panicking. He is not good at being sneaky. So that'll be the other reason he couldn't see Ben face-to-face before the overhearing happened- he wouldn't have been able to act normal enough to avoid making Ben suspicious.

"You know how everyone's unnecessarily obsessed with you?" OMFG the song is An Ode, this is not a drill!!!

Ben just drops his entire bag next to some random kid before going to hide? Take that with you, you don't know when you'll be able to go back for it!

His immediate panic face is excellent, lol.

Here is a gifset I made commemorating Ben's excellent faces in this video. It's basically my analysis of all his faces right in one post.

Leo saving the day! Claudio blurted out that thing about Bea making a vlog, so of course the first thing Ben does is get his phone to look for the video. And Leo thinks fast enough to clarify that she never posted it. That could've totally compromised the plan.

Claudio is SO bad at this.

The book that falls on Ben is called L-L-L-Loser, a Lolilo reference.

John is here! I love how he looks up, like, "Is this intel I'll need for my Plan? Oh, no, nevermind."

There are so many other people here, how did this conversation not get reported back to Beatrice? I bet it's because people who don't know her are wisely too scared of her to bring it up.

"Ben is so brave, and funny, and tall, what shall I DO??!!" Matthew J Smith is the MVP of this one, folks. Hilarious. Also, why would Claudio's first thought be "brave"? Ben hasn't done his brave thing yet, and it's standing up to Claudio!

Okay, thank you, the librarian DOES yell at them. Realism.

I just can't get over how terrified Claudio looks right now. He is so stressed. He looks like he thinks even moving a muscle will blow the secret right now.

I will never get over Ben hiding in the tree in this bit. He has to know they could see him by just turning around. Comically bad hiding place.

The way Ben is holding himself as he sneaks over to the tree, too. It's like, "if I just make myself small and quiet they won't notice me." You are too tall for that, honey, it's not helping.

He did remember to go back for his backpack, though!

It's cute that Balthy and Pedro's outfits match! Red and blue!

Balth is so bemused by Pedro asking about and complimenting the chord he's playing, aww.

Ben's like "SHIT no if he texts me they'll hear my phone!" The facial expressions in this video, truly gold.

His shirt brings out his eyes. Even when they're bugging out in panic, lol.

Awww I love how sad Ben looks at the idea that he'd ruthlessly tear Bea apart for liking him. In my gifset, I summed it up as, "No, I wouldn't enjoy hurting her, and I'm sad you all think I would." <3

"Poor little Ben just can't see what's right under his nose." Says Pedro, while sitting right next to the boy he doesn't know he has a crush on. And while, from Ben's point of view, not realizing Ben himself is right under his nose (or above his head) as well.

"She's so smart." "Yeah, except for loving Benedick." We love lines adapted directly from the play!

"Having a crush can be a nice thing, though." "I don't think it's that kind of crush, Balthy-boy." This makes me so incredibly sad, because it HAS to be foreshadowing to Lolilo and how Balthazar's crush on Pedro goes from something nice that feels good to something incredibly angsty and drawn-out and painful for both of them. :(

Ben's watch going off and the boys pretending not to notice, lol

Like Hero and the girls' conversation for Bea to overhear, the boys' conversation also involves pretending to consider telling one person about the other's crush, then deciding they shouldn't interfere.

I do love imagining the boys pitching this whole thing to Leo, though. And Leo being all in because he and Hero have been saying to each other for months that Bea definitely secretly likes Ben.

Ben sneaks off with the MOST ADORABLE little smile! He loves her! Awwww I wanna squish him!!!!

Hero and Claudio debrief and Claudio calls her a legend for stealing Bea's phone. It hurts my heart how cute they are right here. There are no undertones of Claudio's possessiveness and misogyny present, they're just two kids who like each other. If they'd gotten together after Claudio grew up more and unlearned some stuff, they might even have worked out. :(

Of COURSE Bea has Ben saved in her phone as "Dickface". As soon as they get together I bet she changes it to read just “💕Dickface💕” 😆

Shut UP the end credits music is the instrumental to Way To Tell You!!!! Beatrice’s song for Ben! Ending with an acknowledgement that her feelings for him really do turn out to be real!!!

The comments say there’s also an instrumental of Beatrice You’re Vivacious near the end of the short before the credits, which is precious too.

Oh my god, end credits shot of the books, and the historical romance novel is called THE DUKE!!! Amazing. Also the How to Love book is by Katie Cotugno! I’ve read one of her other books, it had bi rep and I liked it a lot.

Harriett as Director of Photography! I love that these projects gave her a place to learn she prefers to be behind the camera and practice that. I hope she’s doing well.

The credits end on a picture of Harriett and Jake hugging, NO ONE TOUCH ME

They had the sweetest friendship and I hope they still do. Angels.

I am now in mourning again because this is the last time I ever got to see Benedick Hobbes on my screen, and the last time I ever will, so far as I can guess. *cries forever* MY BABYYYY

You all already know I have no chill when it comes to him, don’t look at me. *burritos up in a blanket to sulk*

No but I love Tricking Ben so much and I am so glad they made it for us!!!

Wait, shit, since when did TCW have a patreon?! I’m sure it’s defunct now, but did anyone used to subscribe? Were there any good extras on there? DID I MISS ANY BEADICK CONTENT????!!!!

Comments roundup: Balth was the first to play off the Ode as a joke here; Ben’s “what? What?” was a Tenth Doctor reference; just so much love for these characters and series; Matthew J Smith responding jokingly to a Claudio-centric comment!

💖🥭🦩

[no-where-new-hero]

On this fine Sunday afternoon, I shall sit down with my scripture (Emily of New Moon) and perform my devotions (catch up on book club commentary). In the interest of space, I'll try to keep this short.

Chapter 9: A Special Providence

The knack of turning this novel epistolary with the Father letters is one of LMM's best narrative decisions because she is, at heart, a voice writer, and I just saw in the lovely interview on craft that @gogandmagog posted that LMM loved writing in first person despite discouragement from her editors, so this way she gets to have her cake and eat it too. She also establishes Emily as a woman of text, specifically, as opposed to Anne, who got away with first person narration through non-stop chatter. Emily as a character is much quieter and more introverted, so her ability to blither through letter-writing kills many birds with one stone. It's also astronomically funny.

"I felt so insulted that I came up to the garret and wrote a deskription of myself being drowned on a letter-bill and then I felt better." Legitimately, Emily has died so much in her imagination in the course of nine chapters. You'd think her self-dramatization would be for good things, but no, she gets her revenge on people through self-destruction. Which is very funny as a child but also sets up her depressive nature as an adult very well.

Chapter 10: Growing Pains

Reading Rhoda's betrayal hurts every time! Also since the last time I read this, I went through a Rhoda experience of my own, soooo yeah not fun. Interestingly, I think Rhoda is the only one who gets a definite birthday other than Emily in the whole book. She doesn't reflect well on Cancers 💀

"Just cut a good big bang. Lots of the girls have their hair banged clean from the crown of their heads." This description always confused me because that kind of style sounds like a description of the "Dutch boy bob" that only came into fashion 30 years later (in the 20s). Also when I Googled hair being "shingled" it's basically also a bob? Maybe more of what we'd consider a pixie cut today, though it seems to be referred to as a "shingle bob" and therefore close enough to what Emily would have wanted. (I am a bit obsessed by how the "Pringle shingle" anticipated the 90s Winona Ryder style pixie cut craze). Though of course Aunt Elizabeth wouldn't have done this cut with any style in any case lol.

Chapter 11: Ilse

Emily aka Jane Eyre fanfiction strikes again. This is, though, a rare instance of New Moon itself being hostile to Emily in a way that isn't ever shown elsewhere. Though the house represents the motherliness that Emily lacks from people, it also has its dark patches that Emily must rebel against, though she only thinks she rebelling against Aunt Elizabeth.

Oh, Ilse my beloved. She has many endearing lines that show the depth of her neglect, but I think this one hit most for me this time: "And you won't be ashamed of me because my clothes are always queer and because I don't believe in God?" I also love how both she and Emily know exactly what their futures will be at this moment and both succeed in them.

Chapter 12: The Tansy Patch

I never focus much on the descriptions in this book because they come thick and fast, but I noticed this time how many flowers grow around the Tansy Patch, nearly suffocating the built structures. This is a place of surface beauty if festering neglect--much like Mrs. Kent's treatment of Teddy.

"He washes the dishes for her and helps her in all the house work. Ilse says the boys in school call him sissy for that but I think it is noble and manley of him." LMM saying fuck gender roles.

"I guess Ilse wants Teddy to like her best but she is not a jellus girl." The love triangle begins.

"I read the story of Red Riding Hood to-day. I think the wolf was the most intresting caracter in it. Red Riding Hood was a stupid little thing so easily fooled." RIP Emily Starr, you would have loved Angela Carter.

Reader, I did not keep this short. Second post incoming soon.

[coolcataetheryte]

I've never posted a fanfic on this platform before, so sorry if anything looks weird. The characterization may be a bit iffy *shrug* I wrote this at like 3am. Also, I don't write smut often, so I expect this to feel about the level of a cheesy romance novel, and maybe that's fine. Can you imagine Estinien on the cover of one of those?

Summary: The WoL is feeling burnt out and lonely, Estinien shows up and helps her relax.

Pairing: Delphinium(WoL)xEstinien

Rating: NC-17

Tags: first time, uuuh size kink i guess? Barely, basically pwp, minor plot, I'm not sure what else. I don’t do this often, sorry lol so i’m not sure what should be tagged

Word count: 3,250

Delphinium sighed as she closed the door to her inn room behind her. The sound of the other scions’ drunken merrymaking muffled to a whisper and she was thankful for it. Of course, she loved celebrating a job well done as much as the next adventurer but once things got too loud and rowdy, it was time to make her exit. The boisterous cheering and laughter and music was just too overwhelming.

She took a few deep breaths then simply stood there, staring at nothing really. The room was a bit stuffy and her clothing felt stifling. Her rapier felt heavy at her hip. She was exhausted.

She finally peeled herself from the door and laid down her weapon on the bench. Her fingers brushed her harp as she withdrew her hand. She stopped and gave it a long look. She hadn’t played it since becoming a red mage some time ago. It was gathering dust and probably had fallen out of tune. Tired as she was, maybe a little bit of mindless work would do her well. She picked it up gently and sat down right where she was on the floor. The old wooden boards creaked slightly under her. She began cleaning and tuning the neglected instrument, all other noises fading into the background and her mind fell more at ease as she focused. Her fingers worked meticulously. Her ears missed nothing, quickly fixing any sour notes. Her scaly tail swished gently behind her the more she got into it.

Quite some time had passed when she gave the harp a satisfied nod. The noise from the lobby had disappeared. They’d finally decided to call it a night. That meant it was likely around midnight now. She hadn’t meant to stay up so late but admittedly, doting on the harp had somehow given her a bit of a second wind. She looked around the room absently, fingers just barely touching the strings and creating a mere whisper of song. What should she do now? Her eyes fell back on the instrument in her hands. It’d been a while since she sang. While less so than playing the harp, as she did sing to herself on occasion, she hadn’t truly sang and she began to feel like perhaps she should.

She loved singing. She always had. It was why she initially sought the way of the bard to begin with. To use song in battle had started to strip the joy from it, however. A side effect she never would have expected. That was the reason she turned to the blade. The others of course had questioned her decision. She played her role as bard well, and no doubt they enjoyed to hear it even if their focus was battle and not her performance. She’d told them it was simply to strengthen herself and feel more helpful with damage. It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the whole, intimate, personal truth that she had never told anyone.

In a swift motion she stood with the harp and made her way across the room to open the door to the balcony. The night was crisp and quiet, with naught but a few insects disrupting the silence. Her chest swelled as she breathed deep of the cool air. It was only when a small shiver ran through her that she realized she’d been sweating. She paid no mind and began to string together notes that drifted into the night. Then her sweet voice joined in. It was an old song. One she didn’t even remember learning. It was simply part of her core despite having few memories from before her arrival in Gridania on that carriage. A lullaby from her people she presumed, with its soft melody and lilting sung notes.

Her song faded into an echo as she finished. A small smile graced her lips.

“That was lovely.”

She nearly jumped out of her scales at the sudden voice. Normally it was difficult to startle the Warrior of Light but Estinien had a way of catching her off guard randomly. Had he been there the whole time? Why did he jump onto her balcony of all places? He was probably lost. She gave him an exasperated look before turning on her heel to return to her room. His footsteps followed behind her.

“My intent wasn’t to frighten you,” he said.

He seemed sincere but she could hear the mirth in his voice. Yet somehow she couldn’t bring herself to tell him to leave. Without a word she placed the harp in its previous resting spot. She found herself simply standing and staring at nothing again.

The material of Estininen’s trousers caught gently on one of her tail spikes and she became aware of his presence directly behind her. He was close, a hair’s breadth from her back.

“What is it,” he asked. “You only stand about like this when something is on your mind.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and that was all it took for her demeanor to completely break away. She relaxed back against his body with a sharp sigh, her head resting just barely at his navel.

“Delphinium?”

He sounded concerned. She gently placed her hand over his. His hand felt so large. She imagined what they might be like holding her more intimately. She quickly shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind. Sure, they had their banter, and yes, many knew it was flirtatious but that was all it had ever been and this.. was entirely too comfortable. She couldn’t afford herself this. She suddenly wanted desperately to move away from him but she was stuck between him and the bench. She decided on a side step but, in her exhaustion, quite embarrassingly caught the edge of Estinien’s boot. He caught her with ease before she could fall to the ground. Their eyes met, and for a moment there was nothing in the world but the concern in his eyes as they searched her own.

Her breath hitched when she was pressed against him. Her feet left the floor, and it took her a moment to realize he had lifted her to crush her against his chest in a tight embrace.

“Whatever it is,” he said quietly. “I hope that you would trust me enough to tell me.”

The dam broke. She gripped his tunic as her tears streamed down cheeks. Estinien held tighter and gently lowered to sit on the floor as she sobbed into his chest. She easily fit into his lap.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “It’s just all been so much. I’ve done so much in so little time. I barely have any time to rest. I always have to be strong for everyone. I’m just so..tired.”

He said nothing but continued to hold her close. A hand stroked her hair gently. After a while, she calmed, taking deep breaths.

“You must think so little of me now,” she chuckled dryly. “The great hero, crying like a child.”

“No,” he said. “I know how much you hide your emotion. You bear quite a burden and you seldom let anyone see what you truly feel. I know how I seem, but I do understand you.”

She looked up at him at his words. Being half his size, she’d never seen his face so close before. She’d also never been so vulnerable with anyone, yet here she was looking so deeply at him with tear stained cheeks. He used a thumb to wipe a tear from her eye, then his hand drifted to caress her cheek. His thumb dared to ever so gently brush across her lip, the pink of her lipstick leaving a faint streak on his skin.

It was Delphinium that closed the distance between their lips. She gave in to the desire she held since she first battled alongside him on the bridge. He didn’t resist her, secretly having had the same thoughts since that moment. He’d cast them aside as he continued to focus on his revenge, but now there was nothing to hold him back. He helped her adjust into a more comfortable position as he deepened the kiss.

Her hands found their way into his long tresses, while Estinien’s hands rested comfortably at her waist and back. The tiny moan as Delphinium allowed his tongue access sent a shiver through him. They stayed there a while. There was no battle for dominance. Delphinium gladly gave into him, letting someone else take the lead of something for once.

Somewhere they’d ended up with Delphinium on the floor beneath him. His lips found their way to her neck, and she finally registered her horns scraping uncomfortably against the unforgiving wood as she arched a bit into him. She stopped his hand as it began tugging at the laces of her blouse. He paused, looking at her.

“Let's have a bath,” she said breathlessly.

“After. We’d need another once we’re through.”

She gave a bit of a snort at that. “Please. I want you to bathe with me. We should be clean before we do anything.”

He relented easily. One more kiss, then he helped her to her feet. She held his hand and led him to the washroom with a smile.

As the tub filled, Delphinium felt a wave of self-consciousness. She had her back to her companion, but could hear him beginning to undress. She weighed the possible consequences of following through with her actions. Was this a good idea? Could she afford to be involved with someone so intimately? Could she allow herself?

A hand on her arm turned her toward Estinien. She looked up at him immediately, trying to ignore his naked groin just below her eye level. He slowly began to unlace her blouse. He looked at her, silently asking permission to remove it. She nodded. As he worked to undress her, her eyes scanned over the scars decorating Estinien’s upper body. They were many, some old and faint, some clearly more recent. When he knelt down to remove her boots, she caught sight of his gnarled shoulder. Without thinking, she reached toward it, her fingers carressing over the marred flesh as gently as they had the harp strings earlier that night. He looked up at her and she muttered an apology, removing her hand.

“It’s all right,” he said and continued the task at hand.

Now both fully nude, a blush crept over Delphinium’s face. She noticed Estinien’s cheeks began to dust with pink as well and smiled. She took his hand and guided him into the warm water with her. Seeing his scars reminded her just how strong and resilient the Elezen was. To hell with her doubts, Estinien could handle himself. The fear of losing him would always be there, but she knew he would not fall easily. She was tired of handling everything alone. It was clear he felt the same.

The tub was more than large enough for them and she was thankful not to have ended up cramped together. She’d never been so close to anyone, let alone been naked with them. But she was the one that wanted this and wouldn't back out now. Estinien watched her while she began to lather soap onto a cloth. She tried not to appear so nervous under his gaze.

She looked at him, this time being the one to silently ask permission. He nodded just as she had. She washed him gently. Upon reaching the scar on his shoulder, he placed a hand over hers. She understood, relinquishing the cloth to him. She found another and scrubbed her face, removing her lipstick. Wiping under her eyes, she realized how smeared her makeup must’ve been, and how silly she likely looked. She laighed to herself, drawing Estinien’s attention.

“What is it,” he asked.

“Nothing. Just imagining how I must've appeared this whole time. I’m sorry for suddenly crying at you. And sorry if your tunic is stained.”

It was his turn to chuckle. “Pay no mind. I have other tunics. I’m honored you shared your tears with me.”

She smiled and kissed his hand gently. “Let me wash your back?”

He nodded, then turned to give her access, moving his hair off to the side. She rubbed the cloth over him, again noting all of his scars. She kissed a thin scar near the base of his neck. He turned to her and she was about to apologize when he captured her lips with his own once more.

“Your turn,” he whispered.

She looked at him confused.

“Your back? I should return the favor.”

“Right,” she laughed awkwardly and quickly turned away from him.

He didn’t hide his chortle. He was a bit rougher with his washing than Delphinium would normally be. However, she could tell he was cleaning her scales with the same precision he cleaned his weapons. She relaxed into it with a sigh, drawing her knees up and leaning her chin on them to keep her head above the water. He was nearly massaging her at this point and she felt like she could fall asleep like this.

Estinien pulled her into his lap, her back flush against his chest. He seemed to ignore the small spikes of her tail biting into his stomach. She shivered against him as her breasts were exposed above the water. She became more alert again when she felt a hand glide up around one of them. Of course, she couldn’t sleep just yet. This is what they both had been looking forward to.

She was aware of her short stature, but now with his hand covering her ample breast she felt downright tiny. It was as thrilling as she imagined. She let out a breathy sigh as his fingers teased the bud of her nipple. She felt his other hand move downward, brushing over the deep scar on her lower abdomen. She knew he must’ve seen it earlier. She expected he’d ask about it, and was a little surprised he hadn’t. It didn’t necessarily bother her to speak of it, but it did bring back memories of awful pain. His hand didn’t linger over the scar for long, and drifted lower still.

Another sigh left her lips when his long fingers met their destination between her thighs.

She squirmed slightly at the sensation his rubbing fingers sent through her. A moan escaped her throat and that seemed to encourage him quite a lot. She felt his erection growing beneath her, the length of it coming to rest against the cleft of her heated folds. He continued his motions. Her breathing became more erratic, and her moans more frequent. She never thought he’d bring her to the edge so quickly but she couldn’t hold back.

She couldn’t help but rock her hips into his massaging fingers, the motion also grinding against the erection between her legs.

Estinien pressed his lips to her shoulder, stifling a heated groan that went straight to Delphinium’s core. She climaxed with a shout that echoed embarrassingly through the large washroom. His fingers lingered a few moments longer as her spasms calmed. Then, he moved to grasp his length. He held her impossibly closer as he stroked himself to his own completion. If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with him breathing heavily in her ear, she would worry about her tail possibly drawing blood from his crushing embrace.

He finished with a grunt then finally loosened his hold. They both needed more.

“Bed, now,” Delphinium said.

They wasted no time. Drying just enough so as not to slip, he carried her easily to the bedroom. He all but tossed her onto the soft bed and immediately he was crawling over her, planting a trail of kisses along her thigh all the way up to her breasts. She moaned quietly as he mouthed at the perked nipple, her hands gripped his hair gently, urging him on. His tongue flicked over the bud, earning him a louder sound and a twitch. Satisfied, he continued his trail upward, finally capturing her lips for what seemed like the thousandth time that night.

Again, she allowed his tongue access, gasping against his lips while his thumbs firmly caressed her nipples. Her legs spread wider of their own accord and she was beginning to ache for him.

“Estinien,” she breathed. “I need you now.”

Without hesitation, Estinien sat back to hold her hips. He gently probed the tip of his erection at her entrance. She watched him eagerly, the difference in size wildly apparent. Neither had any idea if it would truly fit, but by the twelve, they weren’t about to stop now.

Their eyes met and she gave a quick nod. The tip plunged inside her not a moment later. She gasped out a moan and tangled her hands into the bedsheet as he slowly slid the rest of his length into her heat. He grunted out his own pleasured moan as it engulfed him. He paused, the only sound was their panting breaths. He gave her a minute to adjust to him. Then, at her nod, began a quick pace of thrusting. While it would’ve been lovely to take it slow, they both desperately needed this connection and release. There was no way he could hold himself back now.

Delphinium’s fervor matched his, a string of moans falling from her parted lips. She watched him with half lidded eyes, memorizing the way his muscles clenched with each movement.

Estinien carefully pulled her up into his lap. She let out another moan of pleasure as the new position pushed him deeper still. Her hands glided over him, feeling his chiseled body. She kissed his chest and held tight as he began to move once more. His thrusts were quickly growing desperate, she was nearing her limit as well. His passionate, breathy, moans were right in her ear again. Her own sounds had gone up an octave. With a few more thrusts, she was pushed again over the edge into that wonderful, white hot pleasure. Moments later she felt him pulsating within her, filling her to the brim with his seed.

Panting, he stroked her freckled cheek and realization settled in. She saw the streak of panic in his eyes and gently shook her head.

“I can’t,” she whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

His mind flashed back to the scar he’d felt on her stomach and he relaxed, understanding.

They held each other close as they caught their breath, and the high passed. Gently, he laid her on the bed and disappeared for a moment.

Delphinium was already beginning to let sleep take her when he returned. She startled slightly when the warm, wet cloth touched her, but once she understood she allowed herself to fall into her slumber.

Estinien cleaned them carefully. While typically he wouldn’t bother, he remembered how much Delphinium hated to feel sticky. He would do anything for her. He would die for her. Of course, he’d try very hard to never let it come to that.

He settled them under the blankets and watched the sun slowly light up the room.

[andbrokenmemories]

full murderbot thoughts post

Alright! Finished with Book 7 of Murderbot, System Collapse, and collected my thoughts on the series.

Maybe one day I'll do one last round-up to read novellas and maybe write a Properly Structured Review Innit, so for now this is gonna be the messy notes version of this. Let me give a paragraph or two of review-y thoughts, here, though. Set the stage and all.

So: I liked them a lot! I wouldn't ever say I struggle with sci-fi, but I think in practice I struggle with sci-fi. For other genrefic novels, tropes i Enjoy the Consumption of can usually keep my interest alive long enough; like, Black Sun and Fevered Star didn't light me on fire, but there was a lot of dynamics and play within the space that I could consistently enjoy and keep. Chewing down the line on. real strawberry lace fiction. real gummy worm fiction

Sci-Fi usually struggles more with that, I guess. Or, rather, I don't enjoy genrefic sci-fi for sci-fi's sake? There is, i think, a needle to thread of Good Spec-fic, of "oooh literature on a Weird Way of Existing". that style can keep me hooked, and Murderbot Diaries manages that with all the intricacies of the SecUnit experience. and also you can just have a lot to say! and murderbot has a lot to say! overall 8.5 out of 10. book 1 is a 9 out of 10 (yippeee strained relations distrust etc); book 2 is an 8.5 out of 10 (ART good); book 3 is a 7 out of 10 (i dont really remember those people); book 4 is an 8 out of 10, book 5 is an 8.5 out of 10 but i think it'd be a bunch higher if i didnt find the middle a bit bloated; book 6 is a 7.5/10, book 7 is an 8/10. loose thoughts from my journal from here on. spoilers for the whole series begin in earnest.

I like murderbot diaries the most when its reasonably omniscient, dynamic feeling, with a bunch of pieces moving around; and when those pieces are the psychology of murderbot as it navigates shit. i popped the fuck off when at the start of the long one [that's Network Effect] we got an interlude of murderbot interacting with mensa and her family and Caring and augh. ouagh.

WE HJAVE TO PUT ON THE BEST DAMN TALENT SHOW THI S COLONY HAS EVER SEEN!!!! [this was right when i got to the documentary part of the last book lol]

what if the other sec units went stereotypical serial killer robot and murdered all their handlers. like yes i get an argument against that that goes down the line of “and then we wont be able to extract from the situation and everyone gets killed in retribution” but, also, i feel like early in this series there was a lot of text talking about how sec units don't actually. think like that. in real life. I dont know, maybe i havent adjusted to a Thematic Choice where actually that was unreliable narration, but i find my brain getting caught up on that every time. like comparing how murderbot talks about how sec units think early in the series to later on. bwah.

anyway [in regards to the end of Exit Strategy] something very unique but kind of hash tag relatable about an extended sequence of a character reconstructing their memories from base principles, all sortakinda drunk. seeing all those cute and Telling and I See How It Is moments, which i derived a lot of value from, really fun capper to a book. good times. and then they hit 100% and the microwave goes Ding and they sit right up in bed and go Damn. That was stupid. I'm leaving.

when the panopticon surrounds you on every level and you have a lot of time to think on your self and your connection to your self and gain access to every system that makes you up and makes you you and all you can manage to acheive with it is the recreation of the panopticon within the self. and being without the panopticon is uncomfortable and foreign and strange. when the character does not allow the narrative to woobify them. 😍

ships you can talk to (who talk back only in concepts) are a gender by the way. that first scene [at the end of All Systems Red] of Murderbot working out its take on the all of it to a ship who can't really talk back, and was more or less the default “easily Manipulated bot pilot” that we just kind of sidestep each time going forwards, but like. was also the Same Thing as Mbot in not having anyone to really talk this out with. we are both on the same level. we, two, have not been taught to sell our class, our people out to the humans; we can be Niceys to one another. you can seek that out and find it. there are glimmers and moments like that throughout the whole series going forwards. which kind of makes hanging out with the humies boring unless they're one of the like 3-4 that i feel have an Interesting Social Dynamic with murderbot

following on from that, i immediately started visualising ARTs feed-self as a Kirby Endboss mass of glowing, dazzling, flowing dials/lenses/clocks towering over everyone else. with speech bubbles violently louder than everyone elses. Like that was how my brain went “how would the graphic novel get this Concept of ‘I could squish you like a bug with one instant of thought you are nothing to me you little it/its freak’ across". and its good. its good

[in regards to Network Effect, and trying to sum up my whole feelings on 2.0]: Whoops! Your clone headmate you made underbaked on purpose came out with ADHD and joié de vivre and is kicking its feet up and down in its partition watching comfort media while you go through the shit that made the Expanse expand. that made the signal is. that made the Space [face/off-style pause] Dead

So, what're my big takeaways with the whole series? Everyone trying to Do Therapyspeak on Murderbot and it usually Not Working is nice. There is something wrong with you, and that's not like a puzzle to be unraveled, but the perspective the text then takes on everything else. this world isn't, like, Fascinating and realized with any special flair, but you get to have moments where Murderbot exposits how fucked shit is to other people, or judges a situation it's bitter about as people around it get Fucked Over, and it's just like. It's a fun level of fucked up, in a way, sure, but it's also those moments of like. Ah. Murderbot does not set out to be protagonist-ly about this world, to be deeply critical, to wikia-mode about it all. Only to be constantly drawn to such anyway, to being Bitter and having to exposit to make certain points land because it needs certain points to land because. shrugs, gestures. The World. All of it. but then we go back to like “Hey do you think you have trauma maybe?” “FUCK you” and it's consistent and that's all chewy in a way I find nice. It's nice. We're having a niceys time. smile emoji

[ageless-aislynn]

Title: “Recreation” (3/?) Author:@ageless-aislynn​ Characters/fandom: Kai-125/M!Reader, Halo the series Summary: You wanted to take Kai on a date that she would love but your ideas are running a bit thin. Don't worry, though, ODST Jerry is here to help. 😉 Rating:  T (PG13) Length: 3,405 Spoilers/warnings: Set in the Silver Timeline of Halo the series, not the games or novels. No show spoilers. Disclaimer: Definitely not mine but I do enjoy borrowing them just for a bit! 😉 A/N:  Annnnd it's been a while, friends. Since the last update, life has been all about stress, health issues and writer's block but I'm trying to get things back on track again. 🤞😣🤞

Thank you to @mrtobenamedlater for the suggestions on what sort of dates to not take Kai on. See, I was paying attention, lol!

If you also read "15 Minutes" (or you're checking to see if I'm going to mention anything about it 😉), the next chapter on it is also in progress. Ideally, it should also update at some point this month but I make no promises.

If you've been reading since the beginning, thank you for sticking around. If you're reading this at some later date, thanks for giving it a chance. However it goes, I hope you enjoy! ⭐💖⭐

Taglist: @laurenstacy610 @sporadicbelievernightmare @sarnakhwritesthings

I tagged everybody I tagged last time but, as always, if you'd prefer not to be, just let me know! And if you would like to be tagged in my Kai/Reader fics, just let me know! At the moment, I also write John/Reader, John/Kai and John/Cortana, so I’m glad to tag you for whatever you’d like. Also, if you’d like to be removed, just let me know as well, no hard feelings. 😉 💖

Halo fic masterlist ⭐

"So, what's the plan?"

You looked over as ODST Jerry fell into step with you. "Plan?"

"You know, for when your Spartan honey gets back from extended deploy."

Your I'm thinking over my options face clearly looked a lot like your I'm completely at a loss face. Wait, now that you thought about it, they really were one and the same in this case.

"Come on, man, you need a plan," he bemoaned. "You can't just try to wing it with a Spartan. Not a Spartan. She's worth the time, the effort, the thought, the whole thing. Don't you worry, though. Jerry's got you covered. Give me a few hours and I'll be back with some options."

He strode away with great purpose, leaving you staring after him, a bit flummoxed at having somehow gained an ODST Fairy Godfather.

All considering, though, you could definitely use a little of that "feet first" attitude when it came to dating.

You were on your way to the mess for lunch when, as if by magic, Jerry appeared next to you once more.

"I've been going over the options, running the numbers, all that," he began without preamble. "You know that big amusement park that opened a few weeks ago, tallest roller-coaster on Reach, guaranteed thrills for all?"

"That's where I should take-?"

"You should absolutely not take her there. Think about it, she can jump from orbit without so much as a pod! How exciting is some plain ol' roller-coaster going to be to somebody who can orbital jump in just her armor?"

You nodded slightly, conceding the point.

"Same thing with the games. Punch a bag to show your strength? She can punch the whole machine onto the next continent. Hit a target? She's a sniper, my man. Even with the lousy 'guns' they use for those things, I'd bet you a whole year's salary that she'd make every shot. That's no fun for her. She'll want to be challenged, she'll want excitement! You've got to give her something she's not going to get any other way or why would she bother, right?"

You went from nodding to shaking your head to finally just doing a circle with your chin. "But I'm not that exciting," you said. "That's going to be impossible."

Jerry whipped out his padd. "I made some notes," he said and flipped it around so you could read the screen.

You leaned down a bit, squinting at the print. "Um, you know I couldn't survive that one, right? And I'm just straight-up not doing that one, that one or that one," you said, pointing at the corresponding bullet points.

"If you're worried about where to find a marching band, don't sweat it. I know a guy," he said confidently. "I can even convince him to throw in the venomous carnivores for free."

"I don't know," you said with a slight grimace. "None of this is my style."

"Really? Not even number 15?"

"Yeah, I'm definitely not doing battlefield karaoke. Besides, where would I find an Elite who could sing?"

"I know a guy," he repeated even more confidently.

"Maybe some other time. But thanks."

He waggled a finger at you. "I'm not going to give up on you, buddy. Not after you opened my eyes to the wonders of yoga."

"Are you feeling more centered and enlightened?"

"Eh, that, too," he said. "But I'm going to make sure that you show that Spartan the time of her life, even if it kills us both, don't you worry!"

He gave your shoulder a friendly punch and disappeared into the crowd before you could respond.

You were on an early shift today, so you decided to do some recon in the city. There were a few fancy restaurants there, would Kai like something like that? There were also movie theaters, some quite elaborate. That movie in the park you'd been about to see before the emergency deploy, she'd said she liked it, so was it playing somewhere? She might like the chance to see it in a more elegant setting. Or what about live performances? Did she like plays? Musicals?

You realized you had no idea about her taste in music or entertainment. Or food. Or pretty much anything important, the more you thought about it.

Frustrated, you let your feet carry you out of the city into the outskirts. There was one place you could go to clear your mind for a while. Maybe some fantastic, Spartan-worthy idea would come to you, then?

Not long into throwing balls for the pack of rescue dogs, you'd gotten the feeling you were being watched. Surreptitiously, you'd scanned the wooded area beyond the fenced-in yard but couldn't spot anything suspicious. Even after casually checking out the buildings of the animal sanctuary behind you, you didn't spot anybody watching you from a window or around a corner. Often, some of the other volunteers would gather to watch you playing with the dogs but you really didn't know why.

Deborah, one of the other volunteers, approached after a while, calling your name in greeting. "Want a break? I'll take a turn if you want to go visit your best girl. She's in her usual place."

"Sure, thanks," you said, tossing the ball to her and giving the dogs still clustered around you fond scratches. You headed back to where you'd left your shirt hanging on the porch railing but it was warm enough you'd worked up a light sweat, so you left it off. You found a place in the shade on the ground next to the steps to sit, letting your hand turn palm upwards on the grass.

You caught a glint of eyes beneath the steps but didn't say anything, knowing it was better to wait.

It didn't take nearly as along as it once had before there was movement from the corner of your vision. You still didn't react, keeping your gaze forward, but when a slightly cold, damp nose skimmed your palm, your mouth twitched.

It wasn't until the furry body sat next to you, close enough for the wiry fur to brush your arm, did you look at the small, gray dog. "And how are you today, Gigi?" you asked very softly.

You moved your hand up onto your lap and waited until she shifted to lean against your leg before slowly and gently petting her back. She sat there stiffly for a few more seconds, then finally sighed and laid down with her head propped onto your thigh.

"You know, you're welcome to play ball with the rest of them," you suggested and she rolled her dark eyes to look skeptically at you. "Or not," you concluded.

You both watched Deborah and the rest of the dogs for a while, then Gigi abruptly tensed and darted back under the steps a heartbeat before you heard the crunch of footsteps.

"Hey, marine," Kai said as she came around the corner of the building, dressed in dark civvies, the streak of red in her hair barely peeking out from under her black knit cap with the tear on the edge. "Got room for one more?"

You were on your feet and striding towards her before you even realized it. Halfway there, you realized you didn't know what you were going to do when you got there but fortunately, she didn't have the same problem.

As soon as you were within reach, she grabbed you into a massive embrace. For a long moment, you just closed your eyes and held onto her.

"When'd you get back?" you finally asked into her muscular shoulder.

"Couple of hours ago. Been in debrief for ages. Though poor Chief is still there, so guess I shouldn't complain."

"You all right? No casualties?"

"Silver's in one piece," she said which wasn't really an answer but you figured that was all she could say.

When you leaned back, you expected her to let you go but instead she shifted her hold so to touch your face.

"I'm glad to see you," she said, her tone husky.

"Yeah. Yeah, me, too," you stammered out, feeling tongue-tied.

And then she kissed you and, in addition to feeling bereft of words, you had your breath stolen as well.

You heard a faint growl come from under the porch and Kai released you, murmuring, "So, who's your friend down there? They sound like they're considering biting my ankle."

It took a few blinks before your brain resumed functioning again. "That's Gigi," you said. "She's had a rough go of it, doesn't trust very easily. Usually she wouldn't call attention to herself like that, though."

"She must like you, then," she said with a slight smile, "considering that she's warning me to back off."

You turned, finding that Gigi actually had her head poked out from under the porch, her lips curled and showing teeth. "That's not very nice," you admonished in a gentle tone. "You're both Spartans, you should stick together."

Gigi gave a displeased barky growl at that and vanished into the shadows once more.

"She's a Spartan, huh?" Kai remarked, biting her lip as if to restrain a grin.

"Well, she came to the sanctuary already answering to Gigi so they didn't want to change it," you explained. "So, I told her that it was short for Gorgo, you know, the Spartan queen? I thought she should have a strong name, something to give her courage when she needs it."

Kai looked at you as if you were too precious to be real. "I like it," she said. "Well, Queen Gorgo Gigi would be a welcome part of Silver Team, if she ever feels like joining."

"One day," you said. "Or at least I hope one day that she'll feel safe enough to come out and play ball."

"You'll get her there," she said confidently.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," she said with an encouraging nod. "You're good with her, I can tell. She trusted you enough to come out from her hiding place and sit with you. That's a big deal."

You arched an eyebrow. "How did you know that? Can Spartans see around corners now?"

It was her turn to look a bit sheepish. "I saw from the woods." She jutted her chin in a direction across the yard through the fence. "I, um, might've been watching you running around, playing ball."

"Why?"

She gave a huffing laugh. "Probably for the same reason why you watch me do my deadlift routine."

"Because it's an impressive display of strength and agility?"

She waggled her hand to indicate you were close.

You thought it over for a second. "Because you're hot?"

She did an on the nose gesture. "You didn't answer me before: you got room for one more or do you think it'll upset Gigi if I sit in her space?"

You glanced back as if the small dog would offer a comment. Her eyes glittered in the darkness, which told you she hadn't completely withdrawn. "I think it'll be all right," you finally surmised. "If she seems to get distressed, we can move."

Kai nodded and the both of you took a place on the ground with you the closest to the steps. You sat there in companionable silence for a while, watching Deborah throwing the ball to the pack of dogs.

Eventually, Deborah came your way, gesturing to Kai. "Want to take a turn? They've about run me out but I'd like to give them a little while longer to play."

Kai bounded to her feet. "Sure," she said eagerly. "Just… throw the ball for them?"

"Just throw the ball," the other woman confirmed.

Though you had no doubt that Kai could've thrown it three days' drive away even for the speediest Mongoose, she tempered her strength to mimic approximately how Deborah had been throwing it. Soon, she was laughing at the antics of the pack as they raced around. You noticed that she would also deliberately throw the ball to some of the smaller or slower dogs, giving them their turn as well.

She also paid attention to when they began showing signs of being tired. "Should I let them rest now?" she asked.

Deborah had found a place in the shade to sit far enough away that Gigi didn't withdraw further. At Kai's question, she pushed to her feet. "Yeah, they seem good. I think they'll all have solid naps now, thanks."

Then, as Kai approached and gave her back the ball, she went on, "We're always looking for people for play time like this, or even just feeding and filling water bowls. If you'd ever like to spend more time with them, please feel welcome. I know they'd love it."

"Thanks," Kai said with a broad smile. "I'd love it, too."

"You'll make sure she gets in?" you asked, inclining your head towards the little gray dog under the porch.

Deborah gave a wry smile. "Don't worry, I'll make sure she gets that spot she likes tucked away in the linen closet."

You turned to Kai and gestured for her to proceed.

"You don't tell Gigi goodbye?" she asked, arching a brow curiously.

"Gigi doesn't believe in goodbyes," you returned, partially because you thought it would make her smile.

The toothy grin she gave you went straight to the center of your chest. "Something else we have in common, then."

The walk back into the city was much more pleasant now that Kai was at your side. She couldn't tell you much about the mission Silver Team had been on but that was all right with you.

After she told you that she hadn't had time to grab anything to eat, you diverted your course to find the little out of the way diner you often frequented when off-duty.

As it turned out, Kai had never before had the chance to discover the wonders of the classic hamburger. The elderly owners were quick to ply her with every conceivable variation they could concoct.

Kai's enthusiasm was contagious and her appetite was indeed Spartan-sized. In the time it took you to eat three generously sized burgers, she'd gone through perhaps a dozen. The happiness radiating from her made it difficult for you to not grin like a fool.

She waved them off when they offered to grill up another. "I'm stuffed," she demurred. "Couldn't possibly fit in another bite."

"But," the silver-haired woman asked, "what about dessert? Do you like pie?"

"Pie?" she asked, her tone perking up. And, as it turned out, yes, she did.

When you requested the bill, Kai snatched it off the table in a move so fast you didn't even see a blur of motion.

"My treat," she said. "You can pay for the next date."

Her casual choice of words surprised you. Once you were outside, having promised the owners that you'd come back soon, you fell in line beside her.

"Was this a date?" you finally asked.

"It was to me," she said with a tiny smile and threaded her fingers through yours. "It was actually the most perfect date I could've imagined."

For a moment, you couldn't seem to remember what words were. Then you cleared your throat and said, "I have something for you."

"Did you knit me a gun cozy?" she asked eagerly.

You gave what you hoped was a mysterious smile. In truth, you probably just looked besotted. That was okay, though, because it inspired her to kiss you again.

Kai had remained outside of the marine barracks as you went in to retrieve her present. As you joined her, you noted about a dozen ODSTs and marines lurking none-too-stealthily nearby. One of the privates took a step in your direction and, from out of nowhere, ODST Jerry intercepted him, steering him back into the crowd.

He gave you a covert thumb's up, then disappeared again.

You'd thought you'd done a decent job wrapping the present in plain gray paper, tied with a silver ribbon, but when you actually saw it in her hands, you couldn't help but notice how it looked like a lumpy mess.

You should've put it in a box and had somebody professional do the wrapping. It was too late now, of course, but as she stood just looking at it, you wondered if you should offer to take it back and try again.

But then she glanced up at you and her eyes shone with a surprisingly wet sheen. "Thank you," she said quietly. "I love it."

"But you haven't even seen it," you protested mildly.

"Don't have to. I love it already."

You would've expected her to tear through the paper in a split-second but instead she carefully slid the ribbon free, then undid each seam with careful precision. It was almost as if she had never been given a--

The thought hit you as if you'd walked straight into a wall.

Then the thought made you want to punch the wall. She had never been given a wrapped present before.

It was a good thing she was preoccupied with the wrapping paper because you'd never been that great at concealing your feelings, especially when something made you see red. Scuttlebutt about how Dr. Halsey had treated the Spartans had never been particularly kind but you suddenly had an inkling of just how very unkind the treatment had been. Spartans weren't unthinking, unfeeling machines, no matter what anyone had ever said. It was true that they seemed more… animated since Dr. Keyes had taken over the program but maybe that was merely because she was allowing them to be?

It was all way above your pay grade but your feelings for Kai—

Okay, yeah, you had to admit it at least to yourself: you had feelings for her. Pretending to be in a relationship had been only been pretend for you at the very start. Kai was easy to care about, easy to admire, easy to want to be around.

The kissing was also a fantastic perk to the pretending, of course, but even if that had never been a thing, you would've still wanted to spend time with her.

As she undid the final piece of tape, she glanced up at you again and whatever she saw this time made her straighten. "You okay?" she asked.

"Sure." Your attempt to clear all of those feelings off your face was obviously an abject failure, so you went with it. "Hoping you like your gifts."

"There's more than one in here?"

"Finish opening and find out."

She slowly peeled the paper back, as if loathe to have the experience end. Oh, you were definitely getting her more wrapped presents, ASAP.

"I noticed yours was torn," you said as she gently lifted up the black knit cap from the rest of the bundle.

She made a surprisingly squeaky sound as she turned it and the metallic thread of the embroidery along the wide brim caught the light. "Is this my sniper? And a Needler? A MA5C? These are all my favorite weapons!"

"I know," you returned, then grinned as she actually spun in an excited circle.

She yanked off her old cap and put the new one on with reverence. "I just wish I could wear it and look at it at the same time," she said and you gestured at the package she still held in her hands.

She lifted the scarf out next, making another squeaky sound as she took in the matching embroidered pattern across both ends. After throwing it around her neck, she looked at you, this time with heat. "Would you want to come back to my room so I can model these for you?"

You stared quizzically at her, about to point out that she was modeling them, wasn't she?

But before you could speak, she leaned in closer to murmur, "So I can model only these for you?"

You blinked. It took two tries but finally you got out a heartfelt, "Ma'am, yes, ma'am."

As she grabbed your hand and pulled you away, you passed ODST Jerry now in the middle of the group of rapt onlookers.

"I taught him everything he knows," he was saying with a proud sniff. "Now, c'mon, everybody pay up. Yeah, and maybe if you're lucky, ol' Jerry here will help you make a Spartan love connection, too."

[oh-no-another-idea]

Writing Questions tag

Thank you for the tag @moonluringfrost! <3

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

The whole premise of Invisible Girl is up there. :) To have an idea so vivid that it stays with you for four years...that's special, and it's the first one I've had to stick around so long.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Not sure what this question means, but I always love it when I see a family friend after a while and they ask me "how's writing going?" It means a lot, even if my answer is a lot of flailing and stuttering ;)

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part is playing dolls and making the characters interact/grow/change. Bonus points if I have a fleshed out world or plot! That part right in the beginning when you don't have names for literally everyone and you don't know exactly where it's going to take place...I'm not the biggest fan of that. I like knowing what story I'm trying to tell.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I love it and it feeds me and fuels me and if I go too long without it, I'm sad :(

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Right now, it's write a little every day you can. Even if the numbers aren't big, even if you don't end up using the text. I can tell I'm still honing my skills and learning the best ways I work, and it really is like creating a habit for myself. If not that wip, than another. But write something! 😉

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

Maybe start smaller? Try out some shorter stories before you attempt a novel, to understand the arc of a story? My younger self probably wouldn't have listened though lol...

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Fanfiction and short stories have been my only journeys to completion so far and been super helpful in helping me see the targets with my novels. Alas, no finished novels yet :)

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Azrail Greenfield from my wip Cemetery Sisters is a twenty-something guy on his own path through life with remarkably little care about sticking to the norm, and a lot of his journey is based on my own thoughts as I navigate my own very different path. He talks a lot about what human beings were designed to do, and what kind of life he wants and whether or not he needs a college degree for it, and it's all the sort of thing everyone (and my protagonist) would first agree with upon hearing, but struggle with applying it anywhere in their own lives. We have so much internalized about the way our society works, even when we can see parts of it are unhealthy! Anyways. Many thoughts. We'll see what comes of it.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I think they'd ask for tips, read my stuff and copy it shamelessly ;) And hopefully, be pretty proud! And also say "Um. Why isn't your novel done yet." 😂

I'd love to see everyone's thoughts and answers to these questions--but no pressure! @sleepyowlwrites @sleepy-night-child @drippingmoon @blind-the-winds @reneesbooks @eccaiia and @talesofsorrowandofruin <3

[cyberth0t]

how did you learn how to draw for inheritance? i want to make a webtoon but that part is holding me back. any tips?

Hey there! This got long so I'm putting it under a cut.

I didn't learn to draw for Inheritance! I've been an artist for a long time. Inheritance is just my first attempt at sequential art (sequential art is an umbrella term for work like graphic novels, comics, and webcomics).

This next part might sound like I'm warning you against making a webcomic, but I'm not, I swear. Stay with me.

Here it goes:

Learning to draw is hard. Drawing for comics is harder.

The reason I began drawing at age whatever (elementary school) and couldn't stop was because I was/am obsessed with it. Even if nobody was looking at my work, I would still be drawing. I highly suggest asking yourself if drawing brings you deep, lasting joy and satisfaction.

If your answer is NO, then please don't frustrate yourself by attempting to create something so difficult. (Since you're asking this question at all, I'm willing to bet your answer isn't NO, lol)

If your answer is I'M NOT SURE, then my advice is to spend six months drawing for an hour every single day. If you find, even after a few months, that it's not something you enjoy, or even like, then I can guarantee you will not have fun making a comic.

If the answer is a resounding YES, then I suggest you write your plot (the whole thing, including dialogue), choose your characters' designs, make a scene breakdown/outline for your first "chapter" or "arc," choose your color scheme, fonts, bubble style, and then start practicing drawing your characters over and over and over again until you can make them look like the same person every time you try.

The reason I'm laying all of this out is because if you aren't deeply in love with making art, then you will burn out very quickly attempting to make a comic.

The good news is that drawing a comic will force you to get better at art so, so fast. But that hinges entirely on how hard you work at it. And how hard you work at it hinges entirely on how much you love creating art, and how much you love the story you're trying to tell. See where I'm going with this?

The reason I find drawing for comics harder than illustration is because you have to draw everything. Especially if you go the route I did--I don't take a lot of shortcuts with 3D assets, and my style is more realistic than symbolic. Backgrounds, props, furniture, different outfits, vehicles, trees, bushes, etc etc etc. It doesn't matter if you don't like to draw something--if your character takes the bus and it's important to the story, you gotta draw her on the damn bus.

As for resources--I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Scott McCloud's two incredible books--Understanding Comics and Making Comics. They are comics 101, they are the moment, they are indispensable knowledge. And you can get them in pdf form for free on the internet archive.

If you're a beginner artist and don't know where the hell to even start, my all-time favorite instruction book is Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards (get the workbook too, it's a necessary part of the book). It is the best "how to draw" book I've ever used, and I have used a LOT, please trust me on this one.

The second how-to-draw resource that I think is just as helpful as Betty Edwards' book is this incredible shrimp tutorial. Again, just trust me! It works!!!

I feel like a lot of creative advice fails to mention that if you want to create something, whether it be a novel or a painting or a webcomic, you have to love (or at least like) to practice doing it in order to do it well, and nobody knows if you love it except you. It's the repetition of the art form that makes us good at it, and that repetition means hours and hours of your time, each week, for years. (Please note: practice isn't always fun in the moment, I don't love drawing every second I'm doing it. Please see: delayed gratification.)

A relevant anecdote--I was also an actor for fifteen years of my life. I practiced enough to become very good! And I ended up quitting at the height of my skills. I didn't like doing it. It didn't matter to me if I was "talented" or not, it didn't set my soul on fire enough to want to continue giving my time and resources to that kind of storytelling. Not every art form will speak to our souls the same way, and that's okay.

I truly wish you the best and I dearly hope that if you end up making a comic, you'll share it with me.

Best of luck.

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

hey its time for episode 4

starting off with one of the funniest fucking scenes in this whole show with suletta just fucking hauling ass right out of there after guel just surprise proposes to her

just want to juxtapose this with her wild feelings speech in 17 about buying rings and wearing the prettiest dresses

this shot just reminded me of a random detail from the manual for chuchu's demi trainer - it says earth house can't afford their own demi trainers so chuchu's is a modified older version because thats the best they could do.

suletta pilots a demi trainer during the whole field test thing so like... does she own or have a demi trainer loaned out for school use or something? i honestly forgot chuchu pilots her own suit in this scene cuz i had just accepted that the demi trainers for practical exams etc were like just there for the students to use whenever

i know this was like probably the easier way to write suletta becoming friends with earth house but lmao why didnt she just ask miorine from the start to help for the makeup exam. baka suletta.

suletta please.

till will forever go down as bestboy in the series tbh. like someone needs to write a fic where he wingmans for suletta while nika does it for miorine

suletta, you naive little baby

there really was absolutely no reason for miorine to get all handsy and possessive here lmao like she could just stood infront of suletta or even right next to her and still had the same confrontation and warning about the other houses being bad news

the 2nd light novel picking up from here and highlighting miorine's jealousy over el4n during this whole arc is perfect lmao

kinda fun to speculate on how suletta saw miorine during the beginning. like she was completely surprised miorine didnt belong to a house. suletta's so awkward and socially inept she couldnt tell she was dealing with the one other person at school who was equally socially inept

i feel like there's a lot of frames i never paused on to read like this one lol. i never realized suletta got so many questions wrong. well "wrong" cuz reading through her answers it almost sounds like she just didnt give the benerit group approved answers lmao kinda like when you get stupid training stuff at work and they're just chockful of anti-union propaganda

never forget the first time we saw miorine's room

i know so many people don't really care about the class conflict in ad stella, but god, i wish they really hadnt dropped the ball on this. like in the 1st cour they had something really good here

obligatory shot of chuchu's dads

miorine rembran will not let anyone insult her woman

does anyone know what this gold gate/door thing was supposed to be? after the second school shooting, there's a shot shown where it's the only thing left standing in that area and i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about it before

see like even this is good re: class politics. like its not this cut and dry all spacians are evil capitalists thing. mercurian miners were pretty much lured out by the benerit group to be exploited for their labor and then left to dry once a cheaper source for permet was found. bless the fic writers who've turned that into appalachian town suletta because it's such a perfect analogy

suletta mercury literally got decked in the face and we all just focused on the chuchu punch

imagine miorine sitting with her in her room just helping her ice her face

by the way how excited do you think suletta was to call someone senpai just like in her fair use mangas lmao

ok all set with episode 4. ive gotta say, it is super jarring to go back to these slice of life school episodes after everything we've been through in the second cours. like yeah that was kind of the point in having the first half of the series have pretty much no stakes since these kids are about to be thrown into war

you know for all the complaining a lot of losers did when the show started about this not being a "real" gundam series, the only difference between watching suletta's journey versus say amuro's... is that we got to see suletta's life before everything got wrecked. with amuro we just immediately start off at the point where Everything Goes Bad

[tathrin]

not so much a fic writer question from the list, but your reply to #48 got me thinking - have you read Sansukh by @Determanfidd? If yes, what did you think of it?

I have! Probably much more recently than every other person on the planet who likes Legolas and Gimli, but I finally have and I adore it.

It took me a while to get fully invested, in part because I'm not really a fan of the leaning-into-movieverse-and-then-pushing-further thing that people have a tendency to do where they really dial-up the antagonism between Legolas and Gimli, which this fic did do in the beginning so I gave it a little side-eye about that for the first few chapters (but thankfully by then I was already intrigued by the dwarves so I kept reading)...and in a much larger part because—and I realize that I'm about to speak sacrilege in the eyes of many here, yes—I simply do not care about Bilbo and Thorin as a couple. I don't! I actually filtered that tag out when I first started looking through the Legolas/Gimli tag on AO3 because of how completely disinterested I was (hence Sansûkh not even showing-up in the tag for me at first lol).

But I kept seeing references to it on tumblr and in fanart (in particular this one) so one night when I ran out of other stories that I was interested in reading I finally popped it open...and, huh, that's an interesting beginning, okay. So I read a little more. And I found myself quickly getting interested almost in spite of myself in all these dwarves whom, I must confess, I genuinely could not remember which was which in most cases (meaning their depictions in the movie; I couldn't place which name went with which dwarf; I googled a few times I'm not going to lie). So it was interesting also in a more meta-sense, because here was this author taking existing canon characterizations and details and building up a whole society upon them...but to me, they were effectively complete OCs. So it was I'm sure a very different reading experience for me than it was for most readers, because I had no context for over half the canon cast!

(The only reason I sometimes know who the movie dwarves are now when people reference them is because of this fic I am not kidding.)

Although speaking of OCs...oh my stars, the OCs in this story are amazing. I'm glad especially that I already had a Mirkwood Populace of my own conceived before I read this, because Laerophen in particular is just the best and I want to read a dozen more stories with him and it would be very difficult to be trying to come up with Mirkwood OCs now without ending up with pale imitations of Legolas's brothers here if I hadn't already had Rilaerloth and company living in my head.

(I will forever live in hope that the author will someday figure out a way to write an original novel with the general premise of that ending trio's journey to the east because that would be amazing.)

Anyway, Sansûkh very quickly went from "I suppose this is interesting" to "I am so invested in this entire universe holy crap" for me and I've actually read the whole thing through twice now. I actually even gave a crap about Bilbo and Thorin's relationship by the end! I was rooting for them so hard!

Absolutely great fic. Spectacular world building, great character work both for the canon folks and especially for the OCs. Love it, recommend it with enthusiasm...even to folks who potentially don't ship one of the main couples, or think they have no interest in most of the characters XD

Although I maintain that I do still want this fic too.

[iressails]

I rarely have this giant structure for story, well never actually. It's four interconnected ones, some more there than others. Crime (light) storyline in the background that runs through all of them, but it's romance.

I don't think the four are full length novels unless I put it all my current disconnected scenes together and it's bare bones and adding scenery and inner thoughts might ratchet it up. All of them same place so it's easy to draw it out over the four stories, might cut it down.

(I haven't written anything more than 30k before so... yikes. But I rarely have more than a sex scene or two held together bit a spit of a plot. This is weird af for me.)

It's smut stuck together with story, and a bonkers bit of the environment (research black hole there). The sex is absolute fire (so I say and it is for me lol) but it's not erotica. My usual style, I guess.

No.1 is m/m, scenes scattered, but characters fixed and romance sort of fixed

no 2 is f/f, whole deal dot pointed from beginning to end, including how they change over time, what the impediments are, the sex scenes plotted but nothing written. Harder to flog from the mm. (Age gap, diverse)

no.3 m/m/f here is hazy but it's more the crime thing. Characters mostly there, the start (second chance romance, you left us! or then we were 2), the plot is there. the crime progresses, led by what the characters are doing. investigator/undercover and potential criminal (mafia type), plus clueless idiot drugs and law enforcement plot that's familiar (diverse)

no.4 m/nb I've got to solve the crime. I know it's solved roughly but who is going to solve it? One character on the crime and also in the setting, one works in admin overseeing that environment (we've one of them in the first story), romance light, characters light. I'm hoping with a bit more progress on the previous three it sort of falls into place .

There's sort of a historical element that's super light, maybe family members, needs a fair bit of work but easy to ditch. low reward.

ANYWAY! Job and fatigue and health stuff and family stuff is in the way and I get the space to write maybe 5k a week (garbage, scattered scenes I'm inspired by that day) not when my usual approach is to get everything down fast before I lost motivation 10k a day. 10k a day.

The medical professionals were "hmm have you learnt nothing about pacing during this intensive program where it's about pacing? 4k a week is good, sustainable."

NOOOOO I am 0 or 100 I know this. I am afraid it'll go before I get it down and it will nag at me forever more like my homicide happy end amongst others.