#This is a problem

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons - Part 10

WC: 817, Masterpost

Jason sighed as the tablet in his hands flashed with alerts. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“How did the meeting with Black Bat go?” Bruce asked instead of responding, because of course he did.

“You know it went fine,” Jason said, trying not to snap. “Besides, everyone likes her, there was a good chance it was always going to go fine.”

“We both know trauma isn’t always that easy,” Bruce said, his tone carefully modulated to be gentle. It rankled Jason, like it always did.

Jason took a breath and let his chin drop to his chest for a moment. Bruce didn’t mean it like that. He knew that now. This was Bruce trying as best as he was able— it wasn’t just another mask. Bruce just had to put effort into emotions that made it seem forced. Jason pushed away his flair of temper; it was harder to do than he’d like after too much worry and too little sleep.

“Ja—”

“I’m fine. It’s just like you said, trauma isn’t always that easy. I’m fine,” Jason said as he waved the concern away. “And names. You know we’re sticking to code names still.”

Bruce tilted his head, observing Jason through the white lenses. (That used to rankle too.)

“You thinking there’s a chance he’ll run.”

Jason sighed. He gave an exaggerated shrug to cover the worry that ran through him at the question. “Not run, exactly. I think he doesn’t believe that he can stay— that it’s even on the table. I think that we’re his last hope and he doesn’t believe in hope anymore.”

Bruce didn’t move. Jason gave him time to think that over.

“That’s why he doesn’t want to see… Wayne,” Bruce said, slowly, like he was feeling the idea out. “He doesn’t expect to get anything from him so it’s better to be healed up first.”

Jason shrugged again.

“Figure so. But also once that meeting happens, whatever happens, then all of this,” Jason motioned to the safe house, “is over as far as he knows. If he puts off the meeting, he puts off the risk of losing the first safety that I think he’s hand in a long, long time.”

Bruce’s shoulders hunched and he almost blended back into the shadows by the window. “If he’s already posed for it to go badly…”

“B, that’s not your fault,” Jason said— had to say. “The kid’s been through hell, maybe by his own family, of course he’s going to expect the worst.”

It was a long moment and then Bruce nodded, just once. “What’s the plan?”

If Jason really had his way, the plan would be to deal with all these ill feelings, but that’s not what anyone in the family was good at, him included. It would be what it would be.

“We’ll have BB over again for a meal tomorrow. I’m sure it will keep going well and she can help be on watch that night. We think it’s best to give that a few days before we introduce O or anyone else new, so you have to keep the rest of the horde reigned in,” Jason said pointedly. Then a though occurred to him. “Where is the little spawn anyways?”

“He’s on the roof across the block.”

“Yeah, is he? Because that was a lot of alerts—”

“Hood!”

Jason didn’t think before he was striding across the room towards Danny’s room. The kid was standing in the door. White hair stark in the low light. Green eyes bright.

Glowing.

Wide with fear.

“Danny?”

“Someone else is here,” Danny said. His voice was almost too quiet to hear, but Jason could half swear he felt it in his very bones. Danny reached out and clung onto the sleeve of Jason’s hoodie. A cold settled into Jason’s bones along with the vibration of the soft words. “Someone touched by death. Can you feel them too? They’re not not like us. They haven’t died. They haven’t died, but they reek of death. Hood, what are they?”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe here, remember?” Jason assured Danny automatically. The words rolled out of his mouth without Jason having to even think about them, which was good, because Jason’s mind was still caught on Danny’s words: They’re not like us. They haven’t died. “Some Bats just stopped by to check on us.”

Was it Bruce? Did all of Gotham’s death cling to his shoulders like his cape?

Was it Damian? Was it the stench of the Pits?

Or did Jason miss something else slipping in with all of the other alarms.

“We’ll go check on Nightwing together, alright? I bet he has a little red and black guest who slipped in,” Jason said. He twisted his hand to hold Danny’s. The cold bit at his skin. He didn’t let go.

He hoped he was right.

He had a hard time believing in hope too.

---

AN: A myyyyyyyystery *wiggly fingers*. Gods I'm so tired.

I no longer tag, you can subscribe to the masterpost instead!

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Hot food fogging up glasses and making eating difficult... never have I related to a single moment in a TV show so much!

[charlemane]

knitting projects: so many

knitting projects that are currently in a stage mindless enough where i can work on them while playing ttrpgs: zero

[rvspecter]

[almond-tofuuu]

Zayne core

more Zayne content because this man is consuming my every thought

[thekingofspin]

[beaconfeels]

Peter ending up at the Stilinski's house after the fire as "suspiciously large dog" and getting nursed back to health by Stiles.

Thoughts? 👀

I think Noah is pretty dubious about the large “dog” he finds Stiles with when he gets home, but he’s also helpless when his son looks up at him with those big brown eyes and wobbling lower lip and says, “Dad, he’s hurt. We have to help him!”

But the thing is, it turns out Peter’s not healed in wolf form, but the wounds he suffered in the fire basically disappeared under his skin. I dunno, it’s some weird shifter magic. So the vet is like, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He seems fine physically.” (Is this a metaphor for invisible illness? Or for the wounds we have that nobody can see? Maybe)

Even Noah can see that the dog isn’t okay, and he really hopes that it doesn’t have some weird illness it can somehow pass on to Stiles, but he doesn’t stop Stiles from taking care of the dog.

Stiles doesn’t know why the dog isn’t okay, but he clearly isn’t. It’s hard for him to walk. He sleeps for hours at a time, and sometimes when he’s awake, he lets out mournful howls that send a shiver down Stiles’s spine.

Stiles will never know how much he’s really doing to heal Peter. Peter thinks he might have been stuck in pain for years if he hadn’t stumbled upon this boy. Stiles pets him constantly, cuddles with him at night, coos soft encouraging words to him when he howls. His love and loyalty is like pack, and it allows Peter to heal from his wounds much more quickly.

Stiles names the dog Thor, and he could swear it rolls his eyes at him whenever he says it, but he still comes when Stiles calls.

Thor refuses to wear a collar or leash, but he follows Stiles to school every day once he’s doing better, and he’s always waiting when Stiles gets out. This would be awesome anyway, but it’s extra awesome because Stiles gets bullied all the time, and now nobody bothers him to or from school anymore since Thor will place himself between Stiles and the bullies and growl viciously until they run away. It’s good for Scott too, because it wasn’t doing his asthma any favors when he and Stiles had to make a run for it.

So yeah, the Stilinskies end up having a dog. Kind of. I say kind of, because it’s not really a typical owner and pet situation. Thor is ungovernable. He comes and goes when he pleases. He never seems hungry, but he also rarely eats the food Stiles puts out for him.

Noah won’t admit it to Stiles, but Thor does seem to understand more than the average dog. He’s also huge, which would be disconcerting if Noah didn’t have clear proof that Thor would protect them with his life. All in all, it’s a strange situation, but soon neither of the Stilinskis can imagine a life without their dog.

[alcorianight]

I did not realize this got so long, so rambly word vomit under the cut

I do think more attention should be paid to the absolute horror Jason must have felt after coming out of the Lazarus pit like a foot taller and built like a damn fridge.

Like he died at 15, tiny, still small due to malnutrition and then the leading theory is that the Lazarus pit cures that and beefed him up. For one, that's gotta mess with his motor control a ton, especially when you consider that normal growth spurts cause a period of clumsiness (think jarring steps, toe stubbing, knocking your elbow on doorknobs or whatever), so a total body overhaul -Lazarus Edition™ - might be enough to keep him from even walking properly, let alone fight skillfully and gracefully.

Even if you say he got his coordination back from training or comic book science meant the pits didn't fuck that up, being small was probably a major part of his identity. Consider Jason before Bruce. He was tiny, but still resourceful and strong enough to jack tires. But being tiny was useful. Being tiny meant more hiding spaces were available. It meant he was unassuming. It meant people's eyes skipped over him. It meant avoiding attention. It meant safety.

And sure, Jason probably complained about being small when he was Robin. Probably even dreamed of being big as a street kid because being big meant having power, but being big on the streets meant being noticed and he knew that. It was something to dream about when he was older but not what he needed then.

I've also seen people headcanon that Jason is claustrophobic from the coffin, and I kinda vibe with that, and being bigger also screws with that because things feel so much bigger when you're small. If you think about it, elevators and the like probably felt a lot more spacious when you were a kid. So not only has his body been drastically changed without his consent (and I haven't really touched on that here, but also consider how it has to affect Jason Todd (who champions consent and autonomy and personal safety of the little guy) to have experienced nonconsensual body modification first hand like that) but it can actively cause him more mental distress.

And I think, coming out of the pit, the memory of his death still fresh in his mind, and stuck in the League of Assassins, maybe being small would have been comforting. He could still access all the same hiding places he would immediately clock. And while the image of a big man hiding somewhere clearly too small for him might be funny, it's also heart wrenching because he's lost so many safe places in a single moment.

Of course when Jason does go back to Gotham he's learned to use his new body and the fact that it makes him intimidating as hell, but I think there's another negative there as well. Because as Robin he comforted people. No Robin is ever soft but they are all almost definitely better at comforting victims than Batman (maybe not Damian, but he's a baby which is simultaneously more and less comforting) and a big part of that is because they're kids. Kids just aren't as intimidating as giant ass adults and I can imagine that this probably messed with Jason when he first got back to Gotham and tried to talk to the street kids or the working girls because those are groups of people who are going to be suspicious of men built like a goddamn fridge. He can't come up to them like he did as Robin, and I'm sure over time he's won their trust and they find him a symbol of safety, but the first few interactions have to hit hard because it feels like he doesn't belong in a place that's been his first home. That somehow he no longer fits right where he always did before.

I also can't imagine how disconcerting it must be to not recognize your reflection for like every part of yourself. Like, this one time I had makeup done for an event (not my idea) and it was so heavy that I didn't recognize myself and I felt so uncomfortable with that and that was just my face. My hair, my height, my build - all of that was still familiar, comfortable, but can you imagine being unable to recognize even that? And if he avoids mirrors to avoid seeing his reflection, he might not even be able to recognize himself in pictures and videos. (There's a fanfic with this idea and it definitely inspires this post because I honestly never considered this before and I thought it was so well written and such a good point that we don't pay enough attention to. You should totally check it out if you got this far.)

The last point I have for this post has to do with his relationship with Bruce. So typical timeline (I think) for Jason is he dies at 15, crawls out of his grave about 6 months later, is catatonic for 3 years, and then spends a year mentally present training with the League of Assassins on his world tour or whatever. I am fuzzy on the details here but basically from his birthday, Jason can't be older than 19-20 when he comes back to Gotham (I think 19 is the accepted age) but mentally he's 16 and for some fucking reason DC artists like to draw him like he's over 30. THIS IS A PROBLEM! Like this is an extremely fucked up 16 year old kid that should be trapped in a 19 year old's body but instead it's so much worse because (and I've seen someone describe him like this before) he's actually trapped inside the body of a 35 year old divorcee AND THAT IS NOT OKAY! Like even if we're gonna say that the Lazarus pit alters the body to peak physical health that would be like 22 or some shit. Past 30 is not a physical prime. You can be fit for sure at 30 but that doesn't change the fact that your ability to build muscle and heal and whatever else are probably better in your early to mid 20s and hey guess what that's still younger than Dick's accepted age (or maybe about the same (I have stayed up too late writing this to keep proper track of numbers)). But Jason looks older than Dick more often than not (the Gotham Knights game will never be forgiven for whatever the fuck happened to Jay's character design).

Okay sorry for the sidetrack, but Jason looking older is gonna fuck with Bruce because Bruce is gonna have a real hard time seeing his tiny, malnourished, never gonna top 5'4 Jaylad in this giant hulk of a figure, especially when the age is so off. Like imagine you have a kid who goes to college and does a ton of internships or research so you don't really see them for 4 years, you're still gonna expect your kid to look like they're 22-23. If they look like they're 35 you sure as hell are not gonna pinpoint that as your kid. So Bruce sees Jason and it makes sense that he doesn't think that's his kid BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HIS KID! (I'm ignoring the moral differences in this post) So Bruce doesn't see a kid when he looks at Jason but Jason is mentally 16 and, despite everything he says to the contrary, he sees his dad when he looks at Bruce. Jason doesn't see an equal, someone who is just another adult. This is his dad, an authority figure in his life, someone whos opinions and words hold power over him whether he wants them to or not. But Bruce can't see that. Because Bruce doesn't see a kid. He doesn't see his son. He sees an equal and that's tragic because you're always supposed to be your parents' baby. Even when you're 50 with your own family and nearly adult kids, you're still gonna be your parents little baby. Because parents see their kids at all the ages they've ever been and it's the fact that Jason doesn't have someone who looks at him and sees him how he was when he was 2 and 7 and 10 and 13 and 15 when he still feels 16 that makes this so sad. Because no one's been his parent for long enough to really build that and Bruce can't see Robin!Jason in the Jason that came back.

Wow, uh, I'm really sorry to anyone who reads this. This really got away from me and it's super unorganized and I just kinda word vomitted all over this. This was just supposed to be about how his body was different. How did Bruce end up in this?

[maximura]

[iwannascreameurekaa]

I automatically try to capitalize any word that starts with L or J because I'm so used to typing Jason and Leos names

[dirtgrubber]

help i was going through old screenshots of alastor to remind myself of the source material but now i can’t stop drawing him completely deranged

[canadian-riddler]

I don't remember how to play Elden Ring

[cyniicism]

am i missing out on something??

what makes me madder is that this isnt even bait?? they GENUINELY ship it?? this fandoms getting worser every second. can we just stick to rajbow and mkulia??

theyre also making bowie a transfem lesbian?? they cant do that?? he has a confirmed sexuality, you cant make headcanons at that point.

[leynaeithnea]

Hellowww obssessed with EPIC still

Had a thought

Listening to Mortius and Casper react to the Ocean Saga, they pointed out that theres a considerable tone shift for Odysseus in "Luck Runs Out" especially considering he just lost the first men in 10 years, including his best friend

Now the question

Could the shift of tone in "Luck Runs Out" to Odysseus sounding weirdly optimistic be because

1. he's in denial and desperate, straight up "ignore the past and go home asap have a mental breakdown later"

2. he's putting on a brave face for his crew so they still believe in their captain and general who got them all through the trojan war even after what just happened

3. he's trying to live up to Polities ideals as a way to "Remember Them" as he promised three songs ago

4. he's slowly descending into madness; and its all three of that

Or is there another reason (canon or not) that could explain that?

My personal favorite will be number 4, he's taking another step towards madness, being in denial about what just happened and trying to hold out and show a brave face to his crew to show them he's still capable and wanting desperately to believe in Polities ideals

[amandarayyy]

Not me about to spend another morning getting nothing done because I turned on damn Netflix 🙃 bout to rewatch season 3 of Bridgerton for the umteenth time