#This is a more serious post but uh. The feelings have been very weird lately
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Iâve become afraid of death. which is actually improvement for someone who was suicidal but also. scary :(
this is all your faults /pos /pos /pos-
#seriously guys. yâall really have just helped everything.#Mostly north and L I love yall#But Iâve kinda felt sad cuz. If I died people would actually be sad??#And gosh Iâm scared of how everyone would react if one day I just stop responding to rps. If I stopped messaging them and stopped making ar#You guys have just really fixed everything. I love all of you more than you can imagine xxx#thanks for everything#and also know that itâs right back at ya#If you died Iâd care. If you died Iâd cry for days#Please. Youâve done all this for me and made me feel valid so I want you guys to feel the same#If you ever need help Iâm here#Just know I will always love you#This is a more serious post but uh. The feelings have been very weird lately#And you guys are all I have#And I think I really appreciate that now. I think Iâve realized how much I need you guys#You were here for me. Iâm always here for you#love yall sm#anyways itâs a bit of a ramble here in the tags lol#Anyways byee I love you mwah mwah mwah#tw sui attempt#maybe?? I mean Iâve tried to before but#Idk I dont wanna trigger yall-
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Cats Galore | Ep. 3
MASTERLIST | Kink: Anal
đ The Other Neighbors downstairs hardly raise concern other than their weird fascinations with cats. You don't mind them playing with yours, but you're learning that things aren't as they seem.
4.6k words
warnings: MDNI18+, fem!reader, f!masturbation (brief), pussy play, fingering, 3some, anal, butt-play, PIV, no protection, cumming inside, creampie, finger sucking (m!), reader called kitty/slut, reader wears cat ears, minho is a bit of a mean dom, reader says she's gonna pee (doesn't), squirting, edging (brief), double penetration, boob sucking
notes: fuck, that's a lot of warnings, sorry. I was supposed to post this days ago but I was partying :( sorry, forgive me. hopefully the length makes up for it
âI almost fell down a well earlier, guys.â
The consistent clicking of their keyboard tells you theyâre not listening. Youâre staring out the kitchen window, watching the rain pour and the droplets race.
âUh-huh.â
âI would have died.â Maybe that will catch their attention. Chan and Changbin have been nothing but busy-busy the moment they came home. Late. You had to mop the floors when their muddied shoes walked through the front.
âThatâs nice.â
You wrinkle your nose, unsure if you should act upset or cordial. Theyâve been home for hours, sitting at the tiny table typing away.
Editing to be exact.Â
âSo, how far are you in the album?â
âVery.â Chan takes off one side of his headphones. âI think we should be able to make the deadline if we stay up.âÂ
You try not to groan. Music is their everything. You get that. Youâve known that, but there are so many times you feel like you donât even come second. If you bat your eyes prettily enough and cutely pout, theyâd put it on hold.Â
But then they wouldnât get their work done. The stress they feel now would be nothing compared to scrambling last minute to put something together.Â
And it would all be your fault because you donât know how to stop being so clingy.
âThatâs good.â You turn from the window and walk over to them, standing behind Changbin and looking at the DAW. You pretend you know what the different colors and lines mean, nodding and pecking his cheek encouragingly. âLooks good too.â
Changinâs already turning his head, pursing his lips so you could plant a kiss there instead, but Chan reaches over and flicks his forehead. âNo. Babe, listen, we love you, but youâre distracting.â
âDistracting?â
âI mean, we wonât be able to do our work.â Chan is careful with his words. âLike, I bet Bin has a fucking boner from just you standing next to him.â
Changbinâs lips turn into an upside-down, sheepish smile, âShut up.â
âExactly. I promise you, at the end of the week, weâre all yours.â Chan smiles suddenly. His teeth look wolfish in the cutest way possible. âWas the first night not enough lovinâ for you?â
It was more than enough. You can feel Changbin buzzing with arousal just from the memory. Itâs not often that your boys like to play rough, but when they do, they make sure to make it unforgettable.
Your dreamy button-boy helped significantly to make sure your lovinâ was sublime.Â
âFor now.â You shrug, but you grin knowingly. âIâll leave you two alone then. Donât stay up too late, okay?â
Changbin purses his lips again when you lean down. This time, Chan doesnât stop you two from kissing. Itâs brief, but Changbin still hums with content in your mouth. Your lips disconnect with a gentle smack and you walk to the other side, doing the same to Chan.
âIâm serious. Go to bed at a reasonable time.â You narrow your eyes. âI donât wanna deal with a grumpy Bin telling me Chan made him stay up all night.â
Chan presses another chaste kiss. âNo promises.â
-
Itâs when you want to sleep that it seems impossible. You want to get enough rest. The garden needs to be at least cleaned if you want it to blossom. But the only thing you can do in bed is toss and turn, replaying the events of the day until your mind wanders to Hyunjin.
Thereâs a small part of you that wants to dream about him again. Even if you have to see his buttons, it would be nothing compared to his cock dragging in your walls.Â
Heâs big. He has to be. You can remember how it felt against your cunt. The mere warmth from him had your clit throbbing, aching to feel his tip slide against you even if you had just finished in his mouth.Â
And the kisses, his kisses. They felt so tender. So warm. You donât think youâll be able to recreate the sensation with your fingers, but you slide your hand down your panties anyway. But just when you make it past the dip, finger threading through your coarse hair, you hear the familiar sound.Â
Squeak! Squeak!
Are you asleep already? Did so much time pass pretending that you actually did? You donât know, and you donât care to find out. The little mouse, just peeking through the crack of your door, is your only worry.
Seems like Hyunjin isnât the one that didnât get enough lovinâ.
You fling the covers off and rush to the door. The mouse squeaks in panic, scurrying out and down the hallway to the stairs. You know itâs aiming for the little door. You donât have to question the fact when it leaps over the steps and into the living room.Â
Unlike the quiet mouse, your steps are loud, thudding down the stairs and tripping over the carpet. You regain your balance quickly, bumping into a wall and pushing off it for an extra boost into the dimly lit living room.
You donât even see the mouse anymore, too consumed with prying your fingers through the crevasse and throwing it open.Â
Like an old friend, the tunnel beams. It pulsates with life, with happiness, you think. The changing colors are like a beckoning finger that you listen to obediently. The passage feels exactly like it did the other night. Fuzzy, soft, warm, and everything right.Â
The lights in the Other living room are just slightly different than last time. A little yellow, a little too pale. It hides the shadow of the couches that seem to glow with life, but you donât dig too much into the aesthetic. You know thereâs a note in the kitchen waiting for you.
This time, itâs not just a note on the table when you walk in, but a kitten headband next to it.
Weâre downstairs.
We? You narrow your eyes and cock your head to the side. Whoâs we? This isnât Hyunjinâs handwriting.Â
Another line of scribbles reads in a cuter, playful tone.
canât wait to meet you! pleeasseee wear the kitty ears!!!!! (ă
âąá· ââąá·
)
Youâd laugh at the drawn emoticon if you werenât confused. With one hand holding the letter and the other holding the headband, you think.Â
Why are you dreaming of this? Whoâs waiting for you? Why do they want you to wear a costume?Â
It doesnât matter how many times you ask yourself, those questions will never be answered. Not on this floor at least.
As beautiful as it is outside, you walk down the porch and turn right. Thereâs an opening with a small staircase leading down, the doorframe lit with pretty lights.
They flash inducingly; on and off in a way that makes it seem like the light is moving.Â
They help with your jitters. You know that it won't be Hyunjin behind the door and sure as hell wonât be your boys. Still, you feel some exhilaration when you stop just a foot shy of the door.
It opens before you can knock a third time, revealing two men standing side-by-side. One has brown buttons for eyes, a beautiful complement to his freckled face and blonde hair. He smiles like itâs the easiest thing to do now that youâre here. His lips curve perfectly against his teeth, white and smooth.Â
The otherâs buttons are a deep burgundy, almost matching his chestnut hair. Only one side of his mouth quirks into a smile thatâs closer to a grin.Â
The blonde one shrieks with excitement. âAh! Youâre here! Minho, sheâs here! Like, here here.â
You laugh, âYeah. Here here. In the flesh.â
He lights up even more. The flashing bulbs on the doorframe dance on his face. âYes! Come in. Hyunjin raved about you all day yesterday.â The blonde man opens the door wide enough for you to see the living room blocked by a curtain that he pushes back. Itâs massive, adorned with cat sculptures and paintings. Even the couch has a fuzz that seems to resemble fur.
Minho chuckles. âGosh. He wouldnât shut up. He falls in love way too easily.â
Their conversation doesnât click until youâre inside the apartment. Youâre too busy deciding to be weirded out or impressed by the amount of cats perched on the wall.
Wait. Did Hyunjin tell themâŠ
âWhat did he say about me?â You try to sound nonchalant, fingers grazing the soft sofa.
Minho flops on the other side of the couch. âOh, nothing. Just that he wants to ask for your hand in marriage.â He snickers at his own joke, ignoring the disapproving shake of his friendâs head.Â
âAll good things, I promise.â The blonde man sits on the opposite side, patting the empty slot between them.
You sit gingerly, far enough that your thighs arenât touching, but you can feel their bodies radiating warmth. You swear Minho eyes the way your thighs expand when you sit, tearing his buttons away to look at the kitten ears on your head.
âVery good things. He showed us some paintings he finished too, but he said it wasnât enough to capture your beauty.â Minho smiles at your blush. âI should tell him to paint this too. The cat ears are a good touch.â
âMinho!â
âFelix!â Minho mimics his roommate's tone. âAm I doing something bad?â He looks at you, buttons gleaming with playfulness. âAm I?â
You shake your head. âN-no.â
The way his teeth are revealed is almost predatory. Almost as though he likes the hint of fear in your eyes. âGood. See? Hyunjin said you were a good girl too.â His hands reach behind your head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The tips of his fingers barely graze you, but your skin feels on fire.
You know why youâre dreaming of them. Why you keep going through the tunnel. They must know too, but Minho plays with the ears on your head fondly.Â
âI can tell you are. Wearing exactly what we asked you to.â He tilts his head. âIâm not sure if youâve noticed, but Felix and I have quite theâŠliking towards cats.â
You turn to the side, facing the differently posed statutes along the wall. âYou donât say.â
Minho giggles. âWith you wearing the ears, well, letâs just say weâre seeing if youâd be a good addition to our collection.â
Felix chuckles beside you, scooting just enough so his leg rubs against yours.Â
Thereâs so much you should be worried about. Itâs all too familiar with how interesting Hyunjin was. To the underlying tones, the secretive glances they give each other, to the fact that they have you trapped between them.Â
But when one of Felixâs hands goes to your inner thigh and Minhoâs goes to your other, your heart drums for a different reason.
âI think we should look at your kitty down here to make sure youâll fit in perfectly.â Felixâs voice is unbelievably smooth in your ear. His tone sends shivers down your spine and you visibly shake.Â
He grins like he knows. âWould that be okay?â
You nod, but your âyesâ sounds more like a whimper than an actual voice. Itâs easy for them to spread your legs, panties on display being that you donât sleep with anything more than a shirt and underwear. They knead the softness of your inner thighs, cooing and laughing like theyâve got you right where they want you.
âThis kitty listens so well.â Minhoâs lips brush against your ear. Heâs the first one to move towards your cunt, fingers sliding underneath your panties to pull it to the side.
âOoo,â his breath gives you goosebumps. âAnd itâs a pretty one too.â
Your pussy feels cold now that itâs exposed. Felix pulls on your thigh so your pussy spread just slightly. He groans, deep and low. Heâs quick to spread his fingers into a âvâ shape around your lips.Â
Minhoâs thumb grazes your flesh. Itâs such a light touch, barely there if you hadnât been paying close attention. The sensation makes you jolt off the couch just slightly, choking on a gasp.Â
âSensitive little thing, huh?â Miho smiles against your ear. âBarely even touching you.â His index finger trails along your slit, soon finding your clit.Â
âBet if I touch you here, youâll get wet real fast.â
Felix does well in keeping your cunt spread while Minho flicks the pad of his finger against you. It takes everything in you not to buck off the couch again. To stop your pussy from clenching every time Minho presses down on your nub.
But just like he said, you can feel your slick sliding down your ass. The wetness must soil the plush couch underneath, but the men donât seem to mind in the slightest. Instead, you feel Felixâs fingers mingle in the mix.
His digits are so much different from Minhoâs. Theyâre small and much rougher, but the different textures make you find purchase on their thighs and squeeze.Â
Felix giggles. âYou were right, hyung. She did get wet.â
Even if it werenât for the obvious sounds resonating in the room, it would be your moans and whines that gave away your arousal.Â
âOf course I was right. Hyunjin told me all about you.â The way he says it, like a threat, it should scare you. But his ominous tone makes your eyes roll and toes curl instead.
âTold me you tasted good. He almost came his pants when his tongue was on you.â
Minho stops flicking your clit to maneuver lower. His soft fingers slide until they catch your entrance, prodding and rubbing before dipping in.Â
You gasp when he enters you. You didnât realize how desperate your cunt was to clench on something until it was pulsing around his digit. Your hips begin to rock immediately, trying to find a rhythm with his little finger wiggling inside you.
âF-fuck.â You lean on Felixâs shoulder. âPlease.â
Even with your squelching and pleading, Minho slides out. His sadistic smile stays on his lips when you whine, tears in your eyes from an orgasm being pulled away.Â
He raises his hand high enough for you three to see it glisten in the light.Â
The slick is almost mesmerizing, their buttons locked on the sight. Minho brings the hand closer and you open with your mouth without being told to.Â
âI wanna know if he was telling the truth about this too.â But instead of putting his finger on your tongue, he reaches over to Felix.Â
His pink tongue is already waiting, a subtle blush on his face that makes his freckles stick out. You watch as Minhoâs finger plays with his tongue, running over the smoothness of his teeth and the plushness of his lips.
Felix moans at your taste, hollowing his cheeks to suck diligently. His fingers on your cunt slow in concentration, but youâre too aroused to notice.
A string of spit and slick connects from Felixâs tongue to Minhoâs finger when he pulls away. It stretches and breaks easily, causing Felix to lick his chin where it landed.Â
His buttons are full of hunger. âYeah, Min. He was telling the truth.â
Minho laughs with delight. His wet finger goes back to your cunt, rubbing harshly and quickly.Â
The instant pleasure makes you mewl, drooly lips finding Felixâs is a spit-covered kiss. You can taste yourself on him. His soft mouth makes the tangy, metallic taste sweet, tongues diving into each otherâs throats.
Felix pulls away enough to speak, but your kisses attack the corners of his lips and throat as he says, âDo you wanna taste, hyung?â
Minho hums in thought, the pads of his fingers swirling over your clit torturously. Your kisses on Felixâs skin slow. You can still taste your arousal on your tongue, Minho wonât have any problem getting a taste if he kisses you now. But when his fingers dip past your hole to your rim, you know what he wants instead.
âI think I wanna play with something else.â Minho uses his free hand to pull you by your hair gently, making you face him. âHow many fingers can you fit in here, kitty?â
He presses, harder and harder until the tip of his finger makes its way inside your ass. Your mouth drops at the feeling, unsure if it feels good because itâs vulnerable or because heâs touching something you know is only used for special occasions.
Minho forces them deeper, making you squeal. âHow many?â
âI-I donât know! Three? F-four?â Changbinâs cock is roughly that wide. You recall having him and Chan trying to fit both their cock in the same hole, but there wasnât enough lube to accommodate their size.Â
He moans, soft and pretty. His finger turns into two, and rather than just the tip, you feel him sink to the knuckle. All the while Felix makes sure to play with your pussy to keep your juices flowing to your ass.Â
âYou dirty slut. Youâre perfect.â Minho doesnât hesitate in fucking his fingers into you. They curl and rub as if it was your pussy, but with how full you are, it feels like it is.Â
âShit. Good fucking ass. Youâve taken a cock in there, haven't you?â
You nod, unable to speak. Your throat canât do anything but moan. The sounds get even louder when Minhoâs fingers slip out, opting to stand and untie his sweats. You only get a second to see his bulge before it springs out, flushed and leaking. He takes his place in front of you, holding you by the knees.Â
Minho has a full view of your gaping ass, of Felixâs relentless fingers playing with your clit. Youâd be shy in any other scenario, but with the taste of you still lingering on your tongue and the need in your stomach, itâs nonexistent.Â
You drool when you see him stroke himself, the throbbing of his cock intensifying. You spread your legs more and let him guide his tip to your ass, holding your breath for the breach.
âYouâve never taken a dick like mine, baby. Iâll make you cum in seconds.â
Felix snorts beside you, but it sounds muffled with the blood rushing to your ears. His cock is warm entering you. Everything feels so much intensified when your ass is used. You can feel every curve and every vein inside.Â
His rounded head slips in with ease, especially when Felix smears your dripping arousal down to Minhoâs remaining shaft and your rim.
You choke on a sob when his pelvis is flush against you.
âFuck yes.â Minho bares throat. His head falls back, red neck on display. âKnew youâd take it all.â Even with no eyes, his buttons seem crazed. That burgundy color turning redder by the second.
His pace is slow, still adjusting to how your walls squeeze unbelievably tight and warm. Itâs easy to confuse the slick from your pussy coming from your ass instead, but it's hard not to ooze arousal with Felix rubbing you.
Your clit feels on fire. Even with nothing in your cunt, it feels like youâre stuffed beyond full. Itâs puffy, swollen, and wet. Felix doesnât stop rubbing for a second even when you let out a pleasurable scream when Minho picks up his pace.
âOh my god.â Youâre staring at the mess between your legs. âOhmygod, ohmygod. Fuck! Iâm gonna pee. Waitwaitwait.âÂ
You know itâs not piss, but itâs been so long since you squirted that you nearly forgot you could. The warmth in your stomach builds too fast, too overwhelming. Tipping over the edge never felt so close, yet so far. Thereâs nothing for your pussy to clench on. Felixâs fingers are moving too fast for your clit to throb and Minhoâs cock is bruising into you at a pace that isnât slow or quick enough.
You forgot how dreadfully good it feels to never come down from your high. To be stuck at the peak because they simply donât care.
Chan and Changbin always made sure to have you cum over and over, but having your body spam from the lack thereof is a feeling you never want to forget again.
âYeah?â Minho laughs. âLooks like kitty needs a little more training, huh, Felix?â
Felix yanks your shirt up, exposing your tits and making you bite the material. Saliva immediately begins to pool in the cotton, but then men are too distracted by your tits to care.Â
Felix leans into your chest. âTry holding it in, yeah? Minho can be stern when he wants to be.âÂ
You feel his teeth clamp down on your nipple. How they think you can stop yourself from soiling the couch is laughable. Felix tugs on the peak of your breast and rubs your clit all while Minho pistons his cock in and out of your ass.Â
You squirt within seconds.Â
Since nothing is blocking your cunt, your arousal flows out freely. Felixâs digits only make your juices fly farther, splattering on Minhoâs chest and your thighs.Â
Thereâs a moment where youâre gasping so hard your head spins. All you can hear are the moans tumbling from your stuffed mouth and Minhoâs psychotic laughter. Felix tries to help the fountain between your legs by slowing down, but his hyung doesnât slow his thrusts at all.
âBad fucking kitty! Now I have to cum in your ass.â His buttons lock on Felixâs. âDid I tell you to stop?â
The tiny fingers resume their harsh pace, but Felix pouts. âYouâre gonna tire her out. My cock hurts too, ya know?â
Sanity glints in Minhoâs buttons. Itâs as if your ass was too good, making him completely forget about his roommates' needs.
He pulls out without hesitation. You groan when it slips from you, feeling like you can finally breathe.Â
âLixie. Iâm such a bad hyung.â Itâs the first time his voice is soft. Caring. âYou want her ass?â
Felixâs fingers go to your hole, your cunt. You let out a drawled moan when his fingers wiggle their way inside. It feels so good to have your pussy filled right after squirting.
âI just want her pussy. You can still have her ass. I know thatâs your favorite.â
The roommates share a laugh, talking about you like youâre nothing but a toy. All you can do is groan when they change your position. Your back aches from your legs being in the air for so long, but the pain subsides when they plant you on all fours on the couch, hovering over Felix with Minho behind you.
Felixâs cock is a little thing, so similar to Changbinâs. They donât share the same thickness in the slightest, but youâre thankful for Felixâs size when they enter you at the same time.
Had he been any bigger, you donât doubt that you wouldâve split. The stretch is porno worthy. Your walls open easily for both of them, their cocks molding their shape inside you. Their pace is so different. Felix is getting used to the feel of your cunt for the first time whereas Minho is chasing his high.Â
The thrusts from behind make you bounce on Felixâs dick. Your breasts jiggle in his face so tempting that it doesnât take long for him to pop a nipple in his mouth.
Like before, his bites and licks encourage you to rock between them.Â
Minho has a firm grip on your ass, spreading your cheeks to see his cock bury itself between them. âYour ass is so wet. Feels just like a pussy.â He stills, hips flush against you. He groans when you whimper. âSqueezes just like one too.â
This time, you know youâll be able to cum properly. The orgasm builds in your stomach until it coils, clenching on the two cocks in warning.Â
âSh-shit.â Felix curses with your breast in his mouth. âIâmma cum already.â
âMhm.â He grunts, fucking you earnestly. âGood set of holes.â
You choose to take that as a compliment. Your walls are gripping them so tight that it feels as though theyâre fucking you in the same place. But when your chest burns and the warmth in your belly finally uncoils, you know itâs Felixâs cock you cum on.
Even though your body freezes to ooze with cream, Minho doesnât stop. Not even as Felix howls with pleasure or you plead with overstimulation, his cock bullies into your ass until you flood with their seed.
You canât tell whose cum is filling from where. It feels everywhere, outside and inside. You collapse on Felixâs chest, panting with exhaustion. Minho thrusts a few more times for good measure before pulling out, moaning in the process.Â
Felix follows soon after, his softening cock between your and his pelvisâ. The warm strings of cum pour from your holes and you feel Minho play with it. Whether or not he shoves it back into your gaping ass or cunt, you canât tell.Â
It all feels the same.
Ding. Ding.
You three jump at the sound of the doorbell. Felix and Minho share a confused look, the older grabbing his sweats and putting his legs through the pant holes. It seems that their visitor requires both of them, being that Felix slips from under you and pecks your forehead.
You suppose this is your cue to wake up.
But as they tuck their cocks away and close the curtains to the living room, you donât wake.
Weird.Â
Youâre about to begin counting sheep when something black moves in the corner of your eye. It takes a few seconds for your hazy vision to focus on a cat, the only one moving sly and quickly.Â
Unlike the other sculpted cats with buttons for eyes on the walls, this one has blue, normal eyes. Just like the one from the woods.Â
âHmm,â your voice is groggy. âHannieâs got a cat like you back at home. You must be the Other cat.â
That cat narrows its eyes at you, nose up turning into a sneer. âNo. Iâm not the other anything. Iâm me.â
You blink. Once. Twice. Your eyelids flutter in shock, but your mind is so fuzzy that you canât be too surprised.
Youâre still sleeping after all.
âI see you donât have buttons for eyes, but if youâre the real cat, how can you speak?â
âToo many questions and not enough time,â his whiskers twitch. âThey wonât be distracted for long. They donât like me very much.â
You snort, âI find that hard to believe. They said they like cats.â
âThey like things that listen. They want a pet. And Iâm hardly one to behave.â
Talking takes a lot of effort. You can feel your eyelids drooping and your limbs relaxing on the couch, but you manage to peek at the kitty. âI donât think Iâd mind being their little pet every now and then.â
The cat does not laugh with you. Instead, he leaps from the shelves on the wall and quietly lands on the couch, mere inches from your tired face.Â
âYou probably think this world is a dream come true. But youâre wrong. If you come back here again, we wonât let you leave.â
We. A spark of anxiety lights in your chest. His piercing eyes, the only ones here besides yours, are full of truth. Something about his gaze and mannerisms screams human. âAre you really a cat?â
âI am as much as a cat as this is a dream.â His tail tickles your nose just enough to keep you awake for a few seconds. âListen to me and do not go through the door again. If you know whatâs good for you, youâll leave the Pink Palace and not look back.â
Like any normal cat, he glares at you one last time. âOr donât. Afterall, Iâm just a stupid cat. Arenât I?â
#smut#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz#minho smut#Felix smut#minho skz smut#feliz skz smut#horror october!#lee know smut#lee know skz smut
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This POST reminded me of a fic I wrote a long time ago. It's basically Gordon and Scott on the beach (but it's angst, because... it's me, so it's always angst).
Link AO3
đđ§Ąđđ§Ąđđ§Ąđđ§Ąđđ§Ąđđ§Ąđđ§Ą
MURKY WATERS
"I was lost in a sea of despair, but you pulled me back..."
"You wanna surfing today?" The question came out of nowhere.
Gordon blinked and stared at his brother. It was ridiculously early, even for his morning habits. Scott stood in front of him, wearing this weird, expectant look.
"Scott⊠what?"
"I'm heading out to catch some waves. Thought you'd wanna come along."
"Sure, justâgive me a minute. But, uh, why so early? It's gotta be freezing out there." Mornings on the island were always chilly, with winds that cut like a knife. Not exactly Gordonâs ide.
"What? Thought you liked a little challenge. Or are you chickening out?" Scott smirked, looking way too amused for Gordon's taste.
"No way! Just didnât think youâd wanna hit the waves this early," Gordon said cautiously, choosing his words like walking on eggshells. Scott had been⊠touchy lately. The wrong tone or phrasing could set him off.
"Fine. Iâll meet you on the beach." Scott spun on his heel and left, leaving Gordon momentarily stunned. Well⊠maybe this was good. Maybe Scott was finally feeling more like himself. Gordon loved surfing with Scott, so⊠why not?
Gordon got dressed quickly and headed down to the beach, grabbing his board on the way.
It was definitely cold, just as he'd thought. Gordon considered trying to talk Scott into waiting a little longer, but when he spotted his brother already out in the water, grinning ear to ear, he let it slide.
Bracing himself for the icy waves, Gordon followed Scott into the surf. The wind was sharp and biting, and the water was frigid. Hopefully, Scott would realize this soon and they'd both head back in.
They paddled out and caught a couple of small waves, Gordon staying close enough to keep an eye on his brother. If anything went wrong, he was ready to haul Scott back to shore, no questions asked.
"Hey, remember that time at⊠what was it, Malibu?" Scott paddled closer, his nose red from the cold and his eyes bright with energy.
"Yeah, I remember. You didnât wanna go, but then we couldnât get you off the board," Gordon said with a laugh. Back then, Scott had been down in the dumps for some reason, so Gordon had dragged him out to Malibu for a few days with some friends.
Scott had initially bailed, saying he had "stuff to deal with," but right before Gordon left, he showed up, packed and ready.
"I didnât wanna go," Scott admitted, his voice quieter. "That was the day Erin dumped me."
Oh.
Gordon hadnât known that. Heâd met Erin a few times, but never thought their relationship was anything serious. She was the free-spirited type, not someone who seemed interested in long-term anything. Besides, Scott had been gearing up to head to the Air Force Academy anyway.
"I had no idea," Gordon said, his brow furrowing. "Why didnât you tell me? And why'd you decide to come, then?"
"It was⊠something she said," Scott replied, trailing off as he stared at the horizon.
Gordon waited for him to elaborate, but Scott just stayed there, lost in thought, before suddenly paddling further out.
"Hey, you just gonna sit there? That wave looks killer!" Scott called, breaking Gordon's train of thought.
Gordon smiled at his brother's excitement before trying to follow along. Scott wasn't making sense today;but after weeks of having a very quiet and untalkative brother, this seemed like progress. Gordon hoped it was.
He watched his brother advance and felt a tingling in his stomach that told him not to lose sight of him.
"Wait! Donât go too far!" Gordon yelled, but Scott kept paddling toward a swell forming in the east. Gordon couldnât help but feel like a worried parent on a beach trip with their kid. Usually, that was Scottâs job.
Apesar do frio, Scott parecia estar aproveitando o momento. Era bom ver seu irmĂŁo relaxando.
He enjoyed the sea. The day was truly beautiful, the cold already beginning to give way to comforting warmth as the sun rose in the sky.He looked around, not wanting to lose sight of Scott. Everything seemed so normal, just like old times.
A strong wind began to blow like the howl of a wounded animal. Gordon felt a strange chill, his Squid sense suddenly began to beep. He didn't know what it was.
His brother continued forward and Gordon realized he was heading in an unsafe direction. Stroking faster he began to move forward to get closer to Scott. His brain told him he was just freaking out over nothing.
But something in Gordonâs gut told him he needed to get Scott out of the water. Like, now.
He paddled faster, trying to catch up. Scott shouldnât be pushing himself this hardâhis body was still recovering.
"Scott! Slow down, man. Save some energy for the next setâŠ" Gordon tried to keep his tone light, but his concern was bleeding through.
Scott ignored him. When the wave came, he rode it perfectly, and Gordon followed close behind.
Being inside the wave was exhilarating, like flying. Gordon thought maybe that was what Scott was chasingâfreedom.
When they surfaced, both gasping for air, Gordon swept his wet hair back and glanced around for Scott. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Scott popped up right in front of him.
Scottâs expression was⊠strange. A mix of fear and uncertainty.
"You good?" Gordon blurted out before he could stop himself.
Scott frowned, like he was trying to work out the question, then turned back to the horizon.
"Yeah. Iâm fine," he finally said, but his tone didnât match the words.
"Scott, why donât we head back now, huh? My legâs cramping up a bit. Donât think I should risk it," Gordon said, hoping to appeal to Scottâs protective instincts.
Scott gave him a long look, and for a second, Gordon thought heâd agree. But halfway back, Scott stopped abruptly.
"Youâre lying."
"What?" Gordon asked, caught off guard.
"Youâre lying! Iâm fine, damn it! Why is everyone acting like Iâm made of glass?" Scott shouted, his voice shaking as he tossed his surfboard aside.
"Whoa, hey! Whereâs this coming from? Weâre just worried about you!" Gordon said, letting his own board float as he reached for Scott.
But Scott wasnât having it. "Worried? Iâm sick of it! I know what I can handle, Gordon! I know what I'm capable of, I'm not broke! Can I at least ride a wave? ....I need this. Either that or would you rather I take a plane to relax? Iâ" He laughed, a sharp, bitter sound that made Gordonâs chest tighten.
"Scott! Calm down, man. Letâs justâ"
But Scott was already paddling back out, ignoring him completely.
Gordonâs heart was pounding. Something was wrong.
"Scott!" he yelled, picking up his pace as a wave rolled over them. When Gordon surfaced, Scott was gone.
Panic hit him like a punch to the gut.
"Scott!" Gordon shouted again, spinning in the water. His pulse thundered in his ears.
Without a second thought, Gordon dove under, scanning the cold, murky water. It wasnât long before he spotted a flash of blueâScottâs wetsuit.
Scott lay motionless in the murky water.
Fuck fuck fuck!
He swam faster than he ever had, grabbing his brother and hauling him toward the shore.
By the time they hit the sand, Scott wasnât breathing.
Gordonâs throat tightened, but he shoved the panic aside. His training kicked in;ignoring how much he himself was shaking.
Minutes felt like hours until, finally, Scott coughed and spat out water.
He couldn't believe what had just happened. He wanted to cry, from relief, from fear, from all the feelings that were boiling inside him.
Gordon quickly came to his senses upon hearing the distressing sounds of his brother. A mixture of coughs and sobs shook Scott's body, making Gordon's heart tighten even more.
Pulling his brother so he could breathe better resting on his chest as he calmed his own nerves from the terror he felt when Scott disappeared into the water.
"Shhh, you're okay. You're okay bro, we're okay." He knew they were far from okay; but somehow they would get there.
When his brother's rapid breathing and sobs finally calmed, he pulled Scott so they were face to face, still supporting him with his hands on his shoulders.
"What's gotten into you?!" ?" He didn't want his voice to crack, but he couldn't help it. It would give him many nights of nightmares.
Scott looked away and frowned, as if understanding had only just dawned on him.
"I don't knowâŠoh my gosh. Fuck! I'm so sorry." He began to speak, his voice low and muffled by his own hands, which were shaking uncontrollably.
"Damn it! You don't do that Scott. You don't go into the water and underestimate it like that, ever. And you can't do that to me! You scared me to death." He stood up, needing to breathe and calm himself. "If I hadn't found you, you would have died! Do you see that? We just got you backâŠyou can't-" Then everything came crashing down; he could no longer contain the tears that insisted on falling suddenly.
Scott tried to get up, but his legs betrayed him and he almost fell back into the sand if Gordon hadn't rushed to catch him.
They locked in a desperate embrace as if they could put all the broken pieces of themselves back together with just the endless love they felt for each other.
Gordon held his brother tightly. Scott was shaking under his hands. For a minute they stood there, breathing. Until Gordon realized that Scott was now shaking badly and still a little panting. He maneuvered his brother to steady him, and they both began the slow walk toward home.
"Let's go home, Scotty. Let's get you warm again." His brother said nothing, but squeezed his hand in acknowledgement.
You don't have to run, Scott. You can lean on us. We'll get through this, together."His brother made a very timid sound of agreement beside him. Gordon accepted this, it was the best he could ask for at the moment.
Scott had only been home from the hospital for a month. He looked much better physically, but Gordon knew there were unseen wounds that would take longer to heal.
"Thank you Gords" His brother thanked him, softly, almost a whisper.
"Anytime, bro. I'm here for you, whenever you need me. But I'd rather you didn't pull an Aquaman, my heart is fragile."
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(I had this crazy moment when thinking about ONK today and wanted to tell someone)
If your speculation on the HKAI "I cannot love you" moment is correct, I wonder if the AQRB confrontation re Ruby's request to be seen (and loved) as Sarina to Aqua's Gorou will lead to a similar respond. Ie "I cannot love you the way you want me to, even in the scenario you just described."
Because at the end of the day, if I'm reading it correctly, Gorou was never serious in his "till you're 16" response to Sarina. They both knew that she wouldn't live past 12. Sarina/Ruby is delusional but only in a way a girl (sick and fated to die at 12 with the only person kind to her being her doctor) who didn't get to mature in her thinking could be. And imo that parallels to Hikaru, who's experience in "romance" was offering himself in exchange for "love". (Airi's defense for herself was that they were in love, which I suspect was something she told Hikaru, too.)
Tldr: Ruby in her right mind would not proposition her brother, just like 15YL Hikaru in his right would not think grooming is a form of romance. And it is the other person's responsibility to say "no, I can not offer you what (you think) you want".
Another response that's ultimately too late oops⊠I do still have a lot to say on this topic tho so I hope it's still interesting to read!
Message from future Claire after they finished writing this ask: tehepero⊠this one turned into a huge ramble so um. please forgive me. Also, spoilers for Usagi Drop made their way in here, if someone somehow doesn't know the big twist of that ending in 2024âŠ
RE: Gorou and Sarina, this is for sure the intended read of their relationship to a degree . Spica downplays/sidesteps this aspect of their relationship a lot but even there it's said explicitly that Gorou was one hundred percent aware that Sarina's long term prognosis was basically non existent. It definitely makes him way more indulgent of and receptive to the "omg Sensei marry me stuff" but even then it's pretty clear that it is, again, just indulging her.
The manga by contrast is much more strongly characterized by this sense of shared but unspoken preemptive grief for the inevitable, where both of them understand but don't really want to talk about it out loud. It added an interesting wrinkle to their relationship that I liked a lot and was disappointed to see Spica iron out but ironing out the interesting parts is kind of what Spica does in general and isn't specific to Gorou and Sarina lol
BUT UH my point is that because of this shared sense of grief and awareness of Sarina's mortality I never really got the impression that she was under even the slightest illusion that Gorou was serious which is why later materials' framing of her as being convinced she can and will be in a relationship with him feel so weird to me. The SENSEI KEKKON SHITE thing doesn't even really feel like Sarina herself is all that serious about it - the energy is almost more like a running bit. Obviously her feelings for him were very strongly and sincerely held and I do think it makes sense for her to jump to actively wanting to be in a romance with him and thinking it was plausible post 123 when her brain has been ensoupened but again, there's that backfill in both Spica and main story material that implies she was ALWAYS that hung up on and deluded about him and tbh I don't really know what to make of it.
In an exclusively post 123 context though, I do really agree with this take on Ruby! This is obviously not a healthy response nor is she thinking at all realistically about what she's propositioning, especially given the kind of weird energy in 143 where she just never even acknowledges Aqua's existence as her brother. Honestly the way OnK has handled AquRuby since 123 and its reluctance to actually acknowledge the incest when it bothers to take Ruby's feelings is very strange to me and I can't quite tell if it's intentional or not yet.
If it IS intentional, then I think it's the set up for Ruby being smacked in the face with the reality of what actually being in a relationship with Gorou-via-Aqua would would actually mean. Because like, regardless of how you or me or anyone feels about incest as a fictional device, in-universe Oshi no Ko is essentially set in our own world - a dramatically exaggerated version with supernatural elements, sure, but still paralleling our own closely enough to comment on real world issues. For OnK to treat most of the other taboos and issues it addresses as seriously as it does and NOT do the same with incest would be incredibly jarring and deeply incongruous.
If you'll forgive a tangent within a tangent, this is a big part of why the infamous ending of Usagi Drop comes off as so fucking unhinged. It's not just that the story twists itself into a pretzel to hook up Rin and Daikichi (though, you know⊠that), it's that everyone in the cast acts like a fucking space alien on service of making it happen and it occurs with no conflict or consequences. There's this bizarre energy around the cast interactions that's hard to accurately convey, but every time someone in-universe finds out about Rin's feelings for Daikichi, it's immediately treated like them hooking up is not only the obvious and inevitable conclusion but that Daikichi is somehow obligated to enter a romance with Rin purely because she has feelings for him. Daikichi's own feelings on the matter are irrelevant. As far as the story is concerned, him going from seeing Rin as his daughter to seeing Rin (very explicitly and textual) as a romantic and sexual partner is as easy as flipping a switch and it's purely macho stubbornness that keeps him from doing so. It's absolutely mind boggling to read.
Anyway. Oh my God. To cut my EXTREMELY long rambling short and actually loop back around to the point of all this: Because of ^ ALL THAT ^ and the way the story has very conspicuously dodged around the HKAI breakup and suddenly swerved to 15YL's depiction of Ai's time in hospital, I'm still pretty certain that the "I can't love you (like that)" is going to be the main emotional capstone for Ruby's own character arc within the Movie Arc as a whole and possibly the emotional climax/resolution of wtfever OnK is doing with AQRB (& GRSR through them) right now. Given how much weight was given to that scene in particular way back when I'd be shocked if we skipped it and I do think there's some merit to the reads of Aqua and Ruby each paralleling the 'opposite' parent, so to speak - Nik (@akane-kurokawa) even pointed out in their 143 review that while the AquRuby kiss is paralleled by the in-movie HikaAi kiss, Aqua is in Ai's position and Ruby is in Hikaru's.
I do hope that this is something intentional and that we'll see something come of it - if nothing else, seeing Ruby have to deal with her relationship to and feelings about her father and the knowledge that he killed her beloved mom is something I really wanted out of the Movie Arc and I've been sorely disappointed by it being reduced to gag fodder thus far. But like I always say at this point, the Movie Arc is such an unfocused clusterfuck I have no idea if this is something we can rely on to be a long term theme.
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Spring Anime 2024: A Wizard is never late
Shuumatsu Train Doko e Iku (Train to the End of the World)
If you want a reason for why this post is woefully late, itâs this show: since weâre going in ascending order of quality here, it must come first, yet I have a hard time saying anything about it. I suppose I can start with the most obvious problem: I will probably watch your original anime, but I do that to get away from light novel levels of insufferable dialogue. Yet this one definitely goes with the NisioisiN school of writing, which is to say, talk a lot first, then figure out a point at your convenience. This definitely doesnât endear the show to me and makes it mildly annoying right from the start, but it could still be salvageable - but then Shuumatsu Train just turns out to be not particularly good at any of its selling points. For a weird show itâs not weird enough. For a comedy itâs not funny enough. For a character drama the characters are too superficial. For a profound allegory, it's much too vague. And even though the parts are hardly stellar, the result somehow still ends up as less than the sum of them. Itâs not a total write-off since at least there is some ambition here, but I really canât say that being more meaningful than not at all is enough of a payoff for something that is mostly just basic attempts at wacky humor presented in an annoying fashion. 4/10
Yuru Camp S3
So, speaking of ambition. My last contact with Yuru Camp was me getting very mad at S2âs incessant products and services shilling. Admittedly S3 turns this down to an acceptable level, but that only makes the deeper issue more apparent: Yuru Camp is and has always been astonishingly vapid, and three seasons and a movie in all the vibes in the world can no longer make up for it. I wonât even complain that the show is no longer about camping in any meaningful capacity (since I never cared and at least the local-tourism-and-food lane weâre in now doesnât require purchase of specialized gear), but godammit if personality-free blobs looking at small footbridges for three episodes didnât kill my enthusiasm for any of this mush. Itâs still broadly inoffensive, but at this point I feel like Iâve thoroughly exhausted anything this show is ever willing to offer. And Yama no Susume shows that you can have all the theoretical positives of a Yuru Camp with compelling enough characters, so thereâs really no excuse. 5/10
Yoru no Kurage wa Oyogenai (Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night)
I donât know where this recent trend of cute but reasonably serious girl band anime came from (I would like to think MyGO, but more likely itâs Bocchi the Rock + the most blatantly obvious and viable way to improve on Bocchi). But here is Jellyfish and uh⊠it certainly makes an attempt. The first impression is very positive, since Doga Kobo provides pleasant visuals (per usual), but it quickly becomes apparent that itâs the writing that is really holding this one back. Itâs not even bad ideas or a lack of ideas, since the concepts this show wants to tackle are generally quite good. But pretty much every execution on those plot ideas is botched in some way, be it by resolving them in a stupidly simple way (impostor syndrome? just do your best!) or by just having a character read out their character arc really dramatically. A bunch of plot points don't even make sense when you look at them in context of the ostensibly real world this show takes place in, and the ending is a massive nothingburger. It's all stuff that's barely passable when something like Love Live does it, but in something that aims higher it seems like a first draft at best and more likely just extremely amateurish. One can only wonder if you gave such a concept to a seasoned veteran like Jukki Hanada... 6/10
Tonari no Youkai-san
Tonari no Youkai-san started out as a rather simple show that I really liked: a mostly but not exclusively lighthearted depiction of a world where Youkai are real and the weird situations that can create, with likeable characters carrying it along. But then it became apparent that what it really wants to do is back-to-back KEY-style sadpiano scenarios. While those aren't bad in moderate amounts, the fact that every scenario now had to be about some heartbreaking backstory no matter what quickly became rather tiring. And then, if it wasn't apparent enough that this show was writing itself into the weeds, it capped the season off with a completely bizarre sci-fi multiverse action arc where everyone dies (very sad!) but then comes back alive because power of friendship beats entropy or something. Well, at least I prefer laughing at this nonsense to being annoyed at contrived tearjerkers, I suppose. I wouldn't call it quality though. 6/10
Dungeon Meshi (Delicious in Dungeon)
When the Dungeon Meshi started, I just didn't get it. The hyperbole around this show (mostly coming from manga fans, I think) was clearly not befitting a very mediocre gimmick anime where even the gimmick had been done better elsewhere multiple times. I do have to admit that as it went on, I could start to see where people were coming from: Once the cooking dies down a bit, the characters start to develop a bit and it finds its pace, Dungeon Meshi's "default mode" is an entertaining adventure anime with some nice characters, decent humor and engaging action. So far so good. However, I'll still call the show merely above average because it's in its default mode less often than you'd think. Every time I started to like something, Dungeon Meshi immediately had to head off in some random other direction that I don't care for: The cooking I did not care for in the beginning becomes vestigial but never stops taking up airtime nonetheless. The nerdy exposition about dungeon mechanics should not merit more than a footnote in a splatbook, but never stops taking up a lot of airtime nonetheless (it's also a painful reminder of the "worldbuilding over narrative" nonsense that I hate, but Dungeon Meshi isn't the worst offender here so I'll let it slide). The show expects me to care about other, far less interesting parties after I just barely mustered up enough enthusiasm to see Chilchuck as more than a spare Marcille when Marcille can't play the tsukkomi herself. Falin turns into a tragic zombie chicken. They adopt an annoying cat. It goes on and on and I'm not thrilled. I will admit though that I will likely still watch the sequel, mostly because Trigger really does a fantastic job with this adaptation on all levels, which at the very least manages to keep it watchable even in the doldrums. I just wish the source material was more consistent. 6/10
Kaiju No. 8
Every season there's some random anime that isn't particularly great, but still competent enough to merit a watch. It's usually some light comedy like Torture Princess, but every once in a while it's something else. This season it's Isekai QC, but in spring it was something even less likely: Kaiju #8, a Jump-brand premium shounen. Yeah, that's a surprise. It just doesn't do anything particularly wrong, apart from the genre staples that it must do wrong: The pacing is bad, but just regular bad. The tone is all over the place, but just regular all over the place. The protagonist isn't as good as he first seems, but not as bad as he could be either. It starts out as "less miserable Attack on Titan where people shoot at huge monsters with guns at shounen powerlevel efficiency", which is extremely awkward, but eventually it settles into a more standard "hit bad guy with sick special attacks" groove, which isn't exactly exciting but at least clearly something the show wants to be. In short, nothing special but the bullshit does not exceed the maximum level I will tolerate as the price of entry to epic dudes epically fighting in an epic fashion. There always is a point with these where you have to ruthlessly cut your losses, but it did not reach it in its first season when the average genremate reaches it within the first episode. That's... something. 6/10
Nijiyon S2
I wasn't even going to write about this because what is there to say about Nijiyon, except that Nijiyon is that rare mini spinoff that actually gets better and starts to outshine the main show at points. Half the time. The other half is still very basic and very arbitrary 4koma hijinks, but an improvement is an improvement. 6/10
Bartender: Glass of God
Why did they make a second Bartender anime in 2024? I can't answer this conclusively but I will say that if Suntory didn't pay for at least half of this production, they got something for free. With that out of the way, the most interesting thing I can say about Bartender is how it compares to Gin & Sonic '06. The old one was certainly ambitious, but in a rather obvious way: Treating the Bartender mystique as somthing close to supernatural and presenting it in a very abstract and stagey way. This is great when it works, but just as often merely comes off as extremely pretentious. The new one... just doesn't do any of that. It's a very straightforward, simple story with actual characters and stuff. It's workable enough with some stronger and some weaker episodes, and even though it does not even attempt to reach the highs of the old one, it doesn't sniff its own farts and does its best to avoid the old man machismo stank that faintly polluted the first adaptation. So I will actually call it better in some ways, maybe even on average, but it still can't compete with a show that had a better reason to exist than to get you excited for Yamazaki whiskey. 6/10
Euphonium S3
I've had my ups and downs with Yoof, and I will say that while some nags remain, I am satisfied with how it managed to (hopefully) wrap up. In fact, S3 might be the best the show has ever been. We were never going to get the cartoonish and quite frankly more entertaining presentation of S1 back, but for what it's worth, S3 takes the overcooked presentation and histrionic character writing of S2 and brings them down to a palatable level, and that makes it at least worth thinking about. Another big point in its favor is that it's now finally truly the Kumiko show, and not just the Kumiko stumbles into other people's drama show. Cast additions like Kanade and Mayu are prety great as well so yeah, I had a good time. Really my biggest complaint is that S3 might actually be a little too good at character drama, because at one point it seemed it was on the verge of starting to question a few of its core assumptions. I never expected it to have doubts over whether letting your school club control your entire existence is in fact a good thing, but ideas like Reina actually being as insane as she comes across and that Taki actually being as terrible as a teacher as he comes across seemed extremely promising. But nah, of course Kumiko just had to be honest with herself, that solved all the problems and then the show just coasted to the most predictable ending imaginable. Euphonium always seemed like it could be way better with a bit more risk-taking, but this was a particularly disappointing moment for the show to be itself. Anyway, if you just expect Euphoinum you're getting the good Euphonium here. 7/10
Girls Band Cry
So, about that "Hanada writing Jellyfish" quip I made earlier? What if that actually happened, in the same season no less? Yeah, these two shows are shockingly similar but unlike Jellyfsh, Girls Band Cry does things right... for the most part. You need to get used to the somewhat janky CG animation, but you're getting some great expressiveness in the deal so that's no problem. You'll also have to put up with Hanada's trademark yuribaiting, a pretty weak ending (as if these two shows didn't already copy each other's homework enough) and music that is much too obvously coming from the Vocaloid camp for my liking. Apart from that, GBC is very good. Not quite as good as MyGO (which has even better character dynamics and I still can't get past how shockingly high its quality is for a franchise anime), but it's really close. So close in fact that I don't even feel like pointing out in detail why GBC is good, because it really is MyGO again: Very flawed yet likeable girls try to get their mental in order while swinging between goofy and depressed and occasionally making music. It's not complicated, but when the character writing delivers (i.e., by seasoned pros like Yuniko Ayana or Jukki Hanada), it just works. If this is a trend now, I'll gladly take it. 8/10
#anime#review#spring2024#Shuumatsu Train Doko e Iku#Yuru Camp#Yoru no Kurage wa Oyogenai#Tonari no Youkai-san#Kaiju No. 8#bartender#hibike euphonium#Girls Band Cry#nijiyon
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How do you feel about the Rufus-Dan parent-child relationship, particularly as it evolved throughout the show? I know there have been a lot of discussions about Rufus and Jenny, which makes sense given how overtly fucked that relationship became, but Rufus and Dan are equally fascinating to me in the way they start out with probably the strongest of parental bonds on the show, yet end up where they are post-Inside. At some point it feels like the show writers started writing the Dan-Rufus relationship as if they were friends or peers more than father and son, and the in-universe implications of that are really interesting I think.
Yeah! I think it's complicated by a lot of different things.
1) Rufus and Alison were clearly very young parents when they had kids, like early to mid 20s young. I personally have always headcanoned that they got married because Alison was pregnant with Dan and Rufus pretty much says at one point that he gave up his music career to be a dad. So I think the fact that the age difference between Dan & Rufus is pretty slim is definitely a contributing factor to how that dynamic operates.
2) I personally headcanon, and I think there's enough to go off in canon to support it, that Dan was closer to Alison than Rufus before she left. And I think Alison leaving put Dan into the mother role for Jenny, which makes Dan and Rufus almost seem like partners parenting Jenny rather than father & son. I think Dan taking on a more parental role towards Jenny after Alison left was entirely his choice, maybe one he didn't even consciously make, but Rufus certainly doesn't seem to do anything about it, and goes on treating Dan like a co-parent when issues with Jenny come up rather than treating him like he's her brother (how Breeland coded of them).
3) I think another big change in Dan & Rufus' dynamic occurs when Dan starts dating Serena, and Rufus starts reliving his past with Lily through Dan. Like I personally think Dan is more like Alison and Jenny takes after Rufus, but with this, Dan is now acting like Rufus (in Rufus' eyes at least).
Anyway all of that contributes to where they are in season 1. Throughout season 1, Rufus constantly gives Dan advice about Serena, but a lot of it feels less like father/son advice and more like advice from a peer. In the Thanksgiving episode, Dan makes a comment to Rufus about how finding out that he and Lily used to date has probably set Dan back months from having sex with Serena for the first time and it's so...It's just such a weird thing to say to your father. Like that feels like a comment Dan would make to Nate. So the fact that he feels comfortable being so blunt about his sex life like that with his own father is very telling of how their relationship is more like two friends.
Honestly, I feel like Rufus almost forgets he still needs to parent Dan until all the Rachel Carr stuff in s2. And the way the show handles that is uh, bad. And it paints Rufus as irrationally angry for being upset that his son is sleeping with a grown woman when he's really being the only sane one. (linking this fic now for reasons)
That might be the first moment when their relationship really starts to turn, because I think Rufus kinda has been going along like "Dan's gonna be fine, Dan's a good kid with no serious issues, the worst thing that ever happens to him is he's not popular at school, I don't need to worry about Dan" and then the Carr stuff happens and he realizes Dan is Not Fine, but at this point Dan is 18 and about to be off to college and Rufus is Too Late (he's not but you know...that's certainly how the show acts sometimes, that these kids don't need to be parented anymore once they're off at college).
And then all the Inside stuff...I think a lot of tension between Dan & Rufus, and also Jenny & Rufus, comes from the fact that Dan & Jenny grew up in a home where their parents' artistic dreams remained unfulfilled. Both Rufus and Alison gave up their dreams/careers to focus on being parents. And I think Jenny and Dan are both very conscious of that and while they love their parents, they both have big dreams and lots of ambition and don't want to see that squandered like their parents.
But while Rufus maybe isn't creatively fulfilled, I think he doesn't regret his decision of choosing being a dad over music. (I think his only real regret in life is not fighting for Lily back then) But when Dan implies in his book that all Rufus has amounted to is being Lily's house husband, I think he's rightfully insulted. He gave up his music career to be Dan's dad. He sold his art gallery to fund Dan's college tuition. He finally got to marry the love of his life, the one thing he's probably done that's entirely for him and not his kids in 20 years, and now Dan's publicly giving him shit for that? Fuck that.
And of course, Dan doesn't really see any of that. He might be ungenerous in his reading of his father, but he's not wrong either, that all Rufus is doing is being a house husband now (minus the whole brief thing with Panic, but the writers were entirely uninterested in exploring that anyway). To Dan, this is a cautionary tale. To Rufus, this is just how life goes sometimes.
Neither of them is wrong. But they're not on the same page anymore.
#the less said about dan's s6 villain era the better#and rufus & ivy dating ugh#but rufus is right to be mad at dan for being gg yet gets painted as irrationally angry once again#dan x rufus#gossip girl#dan humphrey#rufus humphrey#alison humphrey#jenny humphrey#gg meta#anonymous#strideofprideanswers
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December 13 2024 2009
Three Jades? Well I guess that explains the sleeping but not sleeping thing with Jade. Jades dream self is in the same yellow clothing as what is above the fireplice which is wild. Does she own these clothes in real life and why would you pick those for your dream? The robot is very weird. First off why? How does the bed sense her dreams to power this robot and more importantly who made it? Jade tries sleeping in her dream but cant get comfortable because "some sort of invisible force is pressing down on you, a strange feeling of cold heavy metal." So I dont think shes aware that theres a robot that copies her moves.
Taking a look around the place Ive got a couple of observations. The whole room is washed pink from the bed, to the new wallpaper, to the plants and the items on the floor. There are no posters at all and the lights of the selected shirt options are all off. Its very bright outside and the sky is pale yellow, with the sun turning the sheets orange. Lastly, Im just realizing the bed posts kinda look like lathed totems? I dont know if Im just late to the party on that but there ya go.
We get to see the past related to Johns birthday present, which here is signed GT which we come to find out related to Johns previous Chumhandle 'ghostyTrickster'. A few things we learn. Rose and Jade probably had their past conversation in December as well because they talked about birthday presents.
John is the baby of the group (cant relate), Jade is the oldest and Dave and Rose are one day apart. John was one busy guy getting and wrapping their gifts in time but in all his excitement he forgot how long mail takes to get to Jade.
Jade has been harassed for years by these troll accounts, of which she counts 12, and they are the reason John changed his Chumhandle and ruined the friend theme.
We jump back to Present John for a second which is great cause now I can talk about the rest of those drawings in the past.
Every time you reenter your room, you shudder at the recent handiwork of some mischievous imps.
(emphasis mine)
Um, John, buddy how are you only seeing this now? Its been on your wall for months. Im surprised Rose hasnt said anything on this matter...
TT: Are you suggesting that imps are responsible for defacing your movie posters?
EB: uh, YEAH?
TT: Your posters have looked like that ever since I first saw your room.
TT: The moment we started playing this game.
TT: I thought you had defaced them ironically to mock your father's interests.
Not two pages later Rose debunks me letting it be known that these pictures are visible to others. We cannot directly connect these as a Sburb creation because we saw them prior to the game. John is the most likely to be their creator but he 1) would never do that to his posters and 2) somehow blocked their existance until this moment.
Fun little crack theory with this information: What if this is why Dad likes Harlequins? He saw these drawings (theres no evidence he couldnt) and assumed that John was embarrassed about this interest and being the dad that he is decided to show support by decorating the house to show there is no reason for shame? And then sad part about this theory, theres also writing that says 'lame kid' so what if Dad is also trying to boost Johns self-esteem with all his talks? AH wait! Im gonna keep adding to this OMG, what if Dad is corresponding with Dr. Brinner, who he met through the Serious Bussiness chat, because hes a psychologist to get help for John?! Oh man, I am spiraling in these theories.
Ok, ok back to the plot. Rose is not very concerned with her imminent firey demise and has named her new kitten Vodka Mutini. In the back, we can see she barely escaped the explosion as evidenced by the scorch mark on the pink scarf.
After witnessing John have another breakdown, we jump to WV who is attempting to climb down from the station roof. Alas, they are out of rope (cable) and refuses to relinquish their sash. Serenity does some scouting of the conveniently visible cable in the distance.
Its attatched to a harpoon, "This strikes you as convenient! It is almost as if someone knew you would need a bunch of cable". Indeed. Apperifying it is! Unfortunately, the apperifier was still set to the past and instead we get this.
A lovely hand drawn letter from Jade along with the present she just recieved and WVs pronouns. While confused by the envelope contents, WV decides as any mayor worth their salt would "it is obviously critical MAYORAL BUSINESS which you take very seriously and you will defend this package with your life." An absolutely fine mayor he chooses to be.
#me theorizing is essentially like having one of those corkboards with strings pinned between pages#is any of it remotely true? who knows#but im connecting the dots whether anyone belives me or not#homestuck#homestuck replay#hsrp liveblog#hsrp theories#hsrp lore#chrono
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the anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy again here! i've never talked to a psych (self diagnosed autism) and as a teen i was p sure i had aspd (i Knew shit was strange w me and really wanted an explanation and once i figured out my mix of trauma and autism things made sense) coz lack of remorse and shit but i never actually really matched the rest of it -- i dont have substance abuse issues and never have, im p easily entertained, i've had the same three friends basically my entire life. i do though describe myself as the worlds most boring hedonist coz like yeah i sometimes have a hard time controlling my impulses and im motivated by fun but for me thats usually p simple -- easily entertained. read a book, video games, jump around to music. i AM frequently bored though?? like its my most frequent emotion and ive spent a Long time learning to cultivate my joy and really feel it properly. but im also the most easily excitable person i know. i dunno, i have v large emotions that appear then disappear quite quickly. a favourire hobby of mine since i was a kid has been to start arguments between the ppl i care abt and see how large i could make them in a single session then solve the argument w/o the ppl realising i'd manufactured and egged on the argument. which typing that out now seems uh. an interesting hobby. but late last year i told my younger brother and he laughed coz its a v me thing to do and was like "yo thats fucked. pls stop doing it to me" so since then ive mainly tried to just like playfully tease ppl in a normal way coz cognitively i understand its a fucked thing to do and im trynna be like, a decent person who doesnt go outta my way to play w ppl for funsies. which yeah that uh... maybe i Should look into aspd more again, i did a fairly shallow look into it as a teen and relating to azula as much as i did as a kid (and izaya as an older teen/young adult) was deff a sign of smth
i've followed you on this blog for a while (i think you'd only had it for a couple weeks when i first followed u?) so yeah i did know the story abt u and ur fiance! v cute
i feel like maybe we need a different identifier than "the anon who doesnt have aspd" because that might not be, uh. accurate! i have o clue why a lot of people with aspd seem to congregate around my account but i guess this is an aspd helpline now??????? whuh????
like im not complaining its just. how did i get here
also i think ive deadass used the "worlds most boring hedonist" descriptor for myself before and i deal w chronic boredom the same way you do- i have a LOT of hobbies and i plan elaborate projects and that entertains me but only temporarily
and thats the thing about aspd! it- like every other disorder- is a spectrum. you might not have substance abuse issues, and i do. you did.... your interesting hobby, and i find it morally fucked!* i have no idea your relationship with criminality, and i got fired for stealing
*i have done something similar but i have a moral policy of like, only fucking with people who Deserve It. who deserves what varies case by case and what exactly i do... i need to explain weird spiritual stuff to go in depth andyeah im not really itchin to be called crazy on tumblr dot cum
aspd in general is very misunderstood and no literature really focuses on what its like to have the disorder, only the perceived damage being around someone with the disorder will bring- which is why i initially self diagnosed thru tumblr posts from ppl talking about their symptoms in a serious educative way
sometimes i think like, maybe i don't have aspd, maybe i'm just autistic and i'm spreading misinformation- but i never really felt "at home" with other autistic people. its like- yeah i click better with other autistic people, but i'm still masking, i'm still faking, and even in this situation i can drop the mask partially but not fully. growing up with a personality disorder and trauma in communities largely filled with autistic people with trauma, very quickly teaches you that there's something different about you. it's an isolating, traumatizing feeling- my experience with this was mainly symptoms of npd, but like.... knowing you have a problem, wanting it fixed, and knowing nobody around you knows how deep the problem runs, and might even find its existence laughable or dangerous... it's isolating! and its shitty!!
generally i tend to Know if things i'm doing are bad or not, i just tend to not care in the moment, because it's better than being bored! entertainment wins out over everything. it's actually kind of terrible; i'll do stuff just to see a reaction out of people- it's like izaya, honestly, what happens when people are pushed to their breaking points?
thats kind of how i got so much into angst and psychological horror. not only did i want to break the characters, i wanted to break my audience. i'd tell my friends detailed stories about torture partly because i was interested in my story, mostly because i wanted to see their horrified reactions. i wanted to see how far was "too far," and i keep that stuff in my current narratives- i keep the pov extremely tight and do silly little tricks with narrative and formatting to make the audience feel like they're Really There
so yeah look into aspd. do it boy listen to me im the ps5 im speaking to you inside your brain. do it boy do it
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Good morning my beloved (or at least, it is morning for both of us when I am sending this but hopefully you've gotten to sleep in) and I just wanted to say two things:
1) yes I got your asks and I am so hinged right along with you I love your blorbos like they are my own <3
And 2) I can so so relate to your just wanting to be like "normal" girls but knowing in your bones you'd never be able to be like them. That was my whole childhood, both before and after I started socially transitioning, bc it's like,,,,, you (general you) just want so badly to be normal and yet you know you never will be and it hurts, and it's like mourning something you (general you) never lost in the first place, if that makes sense?? And I'm sure you hear this all the time, esp from people older, and so I'm so so sorry to say it again, but it does genuinely get better as you get older, I promise. You may never be a "normal" girl with "normal" interests and capabilities, but like you even said right in your post, yeah your roommates are cool, us tumblr mutuals are cool, and you're learning who you are, and that's amazing and wonderful and you deserve every bit of joy you get from that
The usual disclaimer of I have severe brain fog applies, but also: you really are epic, I promise, and if you ever need anything just lmk, not that I'd be able to do much across the ocean but I almost always can listen, and I love you very much and good luck and everything <33333
Tomas if I hadn't asked for your hand in very serious and legally binding marriage already that would've sealed the deal. Actually let me get the image again because the sentiment is still there in my heart.
Okay I needed to say it. So. In order:
I did sleep in! I love sleeping in. Sleeping in my beloved. I slept in, did my groceries like the adult I am (and I'm eating both fruits & veg's AND candy, god I love just buying my own stuff), took a shower, and ate pizza in front of the two Deadpool movies. Great day, would do again.
1) well they can be your blorbos too for the low low price of uh - actually it's not a low price it's a good like at least dozen hours just for season one of Daredevil, and that's probably shorter than trying the comics. But. Low low price of a dozen hours and some violence on screen. Otherwise I can keep telling you about it in increasingly detailed rants I love doing that also <3 one thing we'll have in our beautiful home once we're very legally bindingly married will be a big box for hinges at the door the way people have shoe racks. You put your hinges in it when you come in because we want the least hinged environment possible. <3 <3
2) yesss I knew you'd get it, former weird girls assemble and such. I guess I'm not fully out of the weird girl woods, but also maybe if you ever were a weird girl she's always inside of you đ€ anyway. I know it gets better I'm seeing it real time!! I made cooler friends in high school and I'm making even cooler friends in uni & outside of it and keeping only the best. I'm wearing clothes I like after years of slowing replacing my kid wardrobe with long term pieces. I know what I like and how I like it and by that point I know that like, there will always be someone who'll notice me and like me if I'm loud enough about myself.
It's just the combo of weird girl + aro(ace) + some flavour of neurodivergent. I want to be more spontaneous and meet people and try dating things but my brain's need for structure and my impressive aura of non-romanceability are not helping.
Like you want to be normal but you don't want to become normal, you just want to always have been!! Because by this point becoming normal would be both painful but also just straight up impossible. It's like ADHD in that I am mourning this ethereal potential that rationally I know doesn't exist and never existed.
I just feel like I'm both too young to be here but also already late, which of course you're going to feel like that if you compare yourself to others, but y'know. People older than me at the same stage of life are doing more standard normal things and hitting milestones I should be hitting, and my younger cousins are cooler than me and have boyfriends/girlfriends. My younger brother's going to have a better mark on his first real degree and bring someone home earlier than me, and my only accomplishments of speaking english and having gone abroad will be nothing compared to everyone else hitting milestones Better than me somehow. Anyway. The point is comparison sucks because the only good time for me to hit any milestone is when I do it, because I'm living my life and not anyone else's, but y'know. At least I think most people that actually matter in my life think I'm cool so eh.
WELL. Thank you for the space to be unhinged about many various things. I think you're biased in thinking I'm epic but since I'm getting a good grade in friend I'll take it honestly. You're also epic, I give you a 20/20 in friend and a ring that both is practical so you can wear it even while doing manual tasks and elegant because you are of course worth it. I hope YOU have a good day when you read this (because you're probably asleep/preparing for Morpheus so you should see this in the morning) and I love yoouu <3 <3 <3
#audio/video call whenever you want i have a webcam now!!#thank you so so much for the nice words i already know in my brain what's going on#but it's nice to have someone validate what's going on#wow i have an asks tag now
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âïŸ đđđđ đąđđ đđđą âđđâ
PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN
y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.
âââ corpse husband x reader âââ soc. media + written fiction! âââ word count: 2.2k âââ â„ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand)Â
authorâs note:Â fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!
ultimate masterlist. Â Ò Â myso masterlist Â Ò Â previous. Â Ò Â next.
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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if sheâs dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it.Â
Alas, you hope this little chaos youâve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, youâve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your lifeâs a fucking mess.
Your fans arenât the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Raeâs message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didnât find significant others by the time youâre 40, youâll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (âSo Iâm sitting thereâ alludes to Rae, âOn my tittiesâ alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge.Â
But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesnât work out, youâll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldnât, though.
Rae was having none of it. She said youâll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to âBoke.â
You leave her for barely a week and sheâs already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.
But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too.Â
Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.
Thatâs where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadnât even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view.Â
You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesnât help, either. Maybe itâs better he doesnât know that youâre a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read âbabyâ.Â
Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft âHello! Hi hi!â. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - todayâs inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because youâve been listening to Corpseâs song all day.
Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didnât forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldnât have to.
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âI feel like,â You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, âI feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also donât respect men so I donât want to call you guys. Like, so many creatorâs have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--â You canât help snorting, âSo, Iâve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking Iâm gonna name you cockroaches. Because youâre grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!â
Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. Youâre as equally proud as you are disturbed.
âWell, anyway.â Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, âBig dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, itâs cuz Iâm in Brooklyn now. Donât ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I donât plan that far ahead.â
While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.
r u dating sykkuno?
You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you canât exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, âNo, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, Iâm not sure how much Iâll have to repeat this, but, we really arenât, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill thatâd be great.â
the roaches lmao sounds like weâre a sports team
âOh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. Thatâd be cool, I think.â
how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?
âMy parents are actually not disappointed at all!â You say with a cute little smile, âUhm, theyâre both really proud, actually. Theyâre glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesnât exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-â You eye catches a comment, âOh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They donât know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they donât know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--â Youâre grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, â--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. Itâs really cute.Â
can i be adopted by ur parents plz
will you and corpse ever collab?!
You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.
Corpse_Husband: yes.
Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkunoâs own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.
pack it up, sykkuno
More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, youâd like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets.Â
âOkay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--â Youâre covering your mouth, giggling, â-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket Iâm turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.â
we are prepared
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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. âWhatâs a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?â you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, âAww, look!â You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, âItâs a baby chicken! Die, bitch.â The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. Youâre cackling by the time the dust settles.
y/n is a child murderer
âRoaches,â You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you canât get over the name, âI think Iâm like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft wonât actually make less hungry in real life.â
take a break and go eat queen <3
âFuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.â
Another twenty minutes trickle by and youâre trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when thereâs a knock on your bedroomâs door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, âMOM!â You scream, âGet OUT of my room Iâm playing Minecraft!â But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you donât manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or itâs some sort of performative dance.Â
âIâm live right now,â You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, âdo you want to say hi?âÂ
The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over.Â
âSorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!â
Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. âWhatâs this about?â
âYour pizza came.â
âMy what now?â You echo, confused.
âDominoâs. You ordered pizza?â
âWhat? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--â
Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.
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You decide that itâll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but youâre okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. Itâs a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. âDâaww,â She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, âdonât cry my little raccoon.â
If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, youâd answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000âČs angle. Sent it to Rae.Â
looking hot, her message read.Â
thanks, was all you replied with.
You couldnât just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.
Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.
âThank you for the pizza, it was delicious.â
You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.
âGlad you liked it, baby.â
He was going to be the death of you.
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tags (in italics is those i couldnât tag! make sure allâs ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercuryâmoon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707
more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max đ
#corpse husband#corpse#corpse husband x reader#corpse x reader#corpse husband imagine#corpse social media au#corpse husband fanfic#social media au#corpse husband x y/n#corpse x y/n#corpse husband fic#reader#xreader#imagine#imagines#myso#make you say oh
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tell me again | e. kirishimaÂ
âł tags ;; fem!reader, disgustingly tooth rotting fluff, super cliche confession scene, kinda fuckboy kiri
âł wc ;; 1.4k
âł a/n ;; sometimes you just gotta write some corny fucking romance tropes man.Â
âł plot ;; after kirishima ghosted you post your confession, you donât really plan on seeing him again. naturally when he shows up to your dorm during finals week - youâre not exactly sure what to do.Â
»» â { ⥠} ââ { ⥠} ââ { ⥠} â ««
A knock on the door of your shared dorm room startles you out of a late night study session. At this time of night and during finals week - you donât find yourself to be all that excited for whoever's at the other side. Your R.A., Iida is known for being a stickler and whatever news he brings wonât be good.Â
You look over your shoulder at Mina, who instead of studying, has been playing 2048 on her laptop for the last hour. She looks back at you with an exasperated sigh leaving her lips, promptly pushing her laptop to the side.Â
âWhy is it always me who answers the door?â she groans.Â
âBecause you chose to study business,â you reply without missing a beat. She flips her middle finger off at you without a second thought but your nose is too deeply buried into your materials for you to care.Â
The knocking gets more frantic as the seconds pass.Â
âComing!â she shouts it, irritation already filling her at whoever would be on the otherside. She swings it open, irritated beyond belief. In the midst of her preparing to cuss out whoever was on the other side at this hour, only a quarter of her sentence makes it out of her mouth.Â
âWho the hell is -,â she stumbles, pauses. The words donât even halfway make it out of her mouth before she blinks twice before stumbling back âKirishima?âÂ
At this, your head snaps up to look behind you. You know youâre not visible from the door way, your desk opposite of view but you look anyway. You canât see him but you can hear his voice.Â
âMina, hey - uh, is Y/N here? Itâs uhm.. shit, I need to,âÂ
Mina crosses her arms above her chest, blocking Kirishima when he tries to look over her shoulder. Youâre frozen in place and you think anyone in your position would be.Â
Your.. relationship with Kirishima is complicated at best. Youâd know him since you were freshman and after this semester, youâd managed to work out the courage to confess your feelings to him. You were certain he felt them back for you, ignoring his somewhat notorious reputation in hopes he was being genuine. He seemed awfully genuine to you.Â
As it would be, you were met with rejection. It hurt but you werenât worried about it either way. What you wanted was to remain friends, because Kirishima is awfully important to you. A confession shouldnâtve had made so much of a difference. You wished thatâd been the case, anyway.Â
But he.. left you like that. Left your friendship at the weird wits end where even when you saw each other on campus or elsewhere - there was no greeting. No hello or how are you. Uncomfortably, you faded into being strangers and you havenât spoken to him in months.
âSheâs not here,âÂ
Kirishimaâs face twists up at the words. He looks over, just peers and shakes his head.Â
âI can see the little colored lights that she keeps on to focus are on. I know sheâs here. Please just let me talk to her,â
Mina turns her head slightly to make eye-contact with you. You shake your head softly, uninterested in what he has to say. Your heart feels too heavy. You know itâs kind of stupid but the wound feels fresh. Never-ending in how it aches.Â
Mina doesnât budge.Â
âShe doesnât want to talk to you. Fuck off back to your dorm and leave us alone,âÂ
Mina pushes in on the door but he sighs, sticking his hand in even when she pushes in on it. He curses under his breath at the weight of it on his hand. Minaâs eyes go wide.Â
âWhat the fuck are you -âÂ
âI know you can hear so Iâll just say it, shitâ â he curses under his breath but you catch â âEven if Mina crushes my hand, please donât though. You both know I donât have health insurance,âÂ
You crack a warbly smile at the comment and Mina lets up but doesnât open the door up. She keeps her hand steady on his, letting him writhe in mild pain.Â
âI love you,âÂ
You freeze and so does Mina. Kirishima rests his forehead on the door with a soft sigh. Your heart skips a beat or two. You canât keep track.Â
âI know I fucked this up like.. really bad. When you told me you had feelings for me, at first it was.. I donât know. It was like I couldnât believe you,âÂ
You bite back tears as you listen to him. He can hear people in the rest of the dorm start to peek out but he doesnât seem to stop.
âShit, it was you. Not be corny but fuck like.. how the hell could I ever believed you liked me? Of all people, you chose me with a shitty fuckboy reputation and stupid haircut,â he laughs a little at this and so do you.Â
âKirishima..â Mina mumbles
âIt was too much. Like youâre so.. so much. But not in a bad way. Like the idea of being with you was just so damn overwhelming. And Bakugou told me not to be an idiot and ghost you but I was just so.. so scared,âÂ
You can hear the way his voice shakes.Â
âIâve never been with anyone seriously before and Iâm kind of an idiot and I didnât wanna fuck it all up. Like what if you realize half-way that itâs not me you want? What if.. what if we started dating and you realized that it was some kind of mistake?âÂ
âEijirou...â
He smiles a little. The sound of your voice is soft like he remembers. He thinks it might be worth Mina breaking his hand if he gets to see you.Â
âIt was easier to break it off before it got serious, thatâs what I thought. But then we didnât talk for a few months and I was goin fuckinâ crazy thinking about you,â â he laughs at the memory, drunk and dizzy from it â âYou donât think you can miss one person so much. That just one person could mean so much to you.. like youâre incomplete without them there,âÂ
You sniffle, wiping tears you hadnât realized had fallen from your cheeks.Â
âI think Iâm in too deep. It was already too serious. I already.. loved you. I thought itâd be better if I just fucking.. ran here and told you,â â Mina opens the door up and steps to one side as you stumble towards it, tear eyed and in loose pajamas. Not confession ready in the least â âI thought maybe Iâd get lucky and Iâd have a chance of you at least.. forgiving me. Maybe if I was really lucky, youâd still like me too,âÂ
He shoves his hands in his pockets and stares at you, mouth curved into a half smile. So sincere, like always. You wonder to yourself if there would ever be a way to love him less.Â
âSo uhm.. Iâm sorry. And I love you.. and itâd be sick if you like.. loved me back but itâs not necessary. Iâll do whatever you want just.. I dunno. Be in my life again, maybe?â
You run into his arms but he catches you. Youâre a half conscious mess, sniffling into him as you punch his shoulder. He chuckles but hugs you back, wincing as you hit him.Â
âOf course I love you, you stupid asshole,â â you whine, hugging him even tighter â âYour timing is shit, yâknow that? Stupid -âÂ
He pulls back and leans into you. Lets his mouth bump into yours clumsily until you melt into a placating kiss. Itâs all too much Kirishima - a gentle swipe of tongue and sharp teeth. Sweet but not enough. When he pulls away, he kisses the corners of your mouth. Heâs too good at that, you think.Â
âI know, but.. thatâs why you like me right?âÂ
You roll your eyes, opting to keep clinging to him instead of replying. From behind you, Mina sighs.Â
âIâm glad you stopped being a jackass but how the hell did you make it up here without Iida noticing,âÂ
From outside, thereâs two loud but distinct voices. Itâs Kaminari, screaming and Iida screaming back. When Mina walks over to peer outside, she catches an eyeful of a very naked and very drunk blonde. She cackles.Â
âUh.. Iâll just say I owe Kami a ton of money right mow,âÂ
»» â { ⥠} ââ { ⥠} ââ { ⥠} â ««
#kirishima x reader#bnha x reader#writing tag#this is so SO fucking cheesy#LMFAO#it was fun to write tho
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Itâs the Thought that Counts
Aelin Galathynius x Rowan Whitethorn - Birthday Oneshot
All Rowan wants to do is throw a surprise party for his girlfriend, but that becomes increasingly difficult as every possible thing that could go wrongâgoes wrong.
I wrote this for my birthday on the fifth, but I couldn't wait until then to post it, Enjoy!
Masterlist | Read on Ao3
Warnings: Language, Light NSFW
4476 words
*******
âAre you serious?â
If Rowanâs hair wasnât already silver, it wouldâve been by the end of the day from all the stress this was putting him through.
Looking into the open cake box in Fenrysâ hands, he just stared at the inscription atop what was supposed to be a birthday cake for Aelin.
âWhat? Whatâs wrong?â Fenrys tried to lean over the lid of the box but it was tall enough to block his view.
âDid you even look at it before you left the store? Before you paid for it?â It took all of Rowanâs self-control not to scream. How many more things could go wrong today?
Fenrys shifted uneasily, noticing Rowanâs slipping control. âUh, no. I was already running late, and you said to get back here as soon as possible to help finish setting up.â
All Rowan could do was let out a long, slow breath.
âThis. Says. Alien.â
The blonde man holding the cake snorted, âwhat?â
âThe cake says âHappy Birthday, Alienââ
âSeriously?â Fenrys was quick to put the box down on a nearby table so he could stand next to Rowan and look at it. âShit. They even put little green Martians on it.â
All Rowan wanted to do was throw a surprise party for his girlfriend.
Was that really too much to ask? Apparently, so.
A couple of months ago Aelin had mentioned how sheâd always wanted a surprise party, but of course, you cant ask for a surprise party because then itâs no longer a surprise.
Rowan took the hint and decided to plan something special for her birthday. He even got all their friends to help, and if everything had gone to plan then it would have been a perfect day.
Too bad he couldnât catch a break.
Rowan had made a list of everything they needed to do, buy, and plan. It was an extensive list because he knew that a party for Aelin had to be perfect. Not because she had impossibly high standardsâwell, she did, but that wasnât why it had to be perfectâit was because he loved her and wanted to show her how much he appreciated her on her birthday.
And he thought it would be the icing on the cakeâpun intendedâto have all their friends involved too. Thatâs why he was making calls to all of them about what they each needed to do for the party.
First, he got Lorcan and Elide to pick up the golden balloon arch that was going to be at the entrance of the park heâd reserved for the day. By the time he got on the phone with Lorcan, Rowan was already exasperated from having to deal with the city planning office in order to reserve the particular park and gazebo.
âLorcan, I need you in charge of theââ Rowan broke off, hearing a loud crackling from the other end of the phone.
âYouâre cutting off, whaâ you say?â Lorcanâs voice was halting as the call cut in-and-out
âI was saying, I need you to cover the balloons.â
âBaââ
âThe balloon canopy.â
âThe boâ, caââ
âYeah, we need a golden balloon canopy.â
âOkay, fine. Iâ got theâ bounâ caââ
âShit. Can you hear me?â Rowan pulled his phone away to check his service. It was fine from his end, it must be Lorcanâs phone being spotty.
When Rowan put the phone back to his ear, he could hear rustling and the sound of a car door opening and closing, and then the connection cleared.
âYeah, man. I heard you. But, are you sure Aelin wants that?â Lorcan sounded skeptical.
âWhat? Yeah, of course, itâll be great.â Rowan was already getting impatient, knowing he had a few more errands to run before he could relax.
âWhatever. Sheâs your girlfriend, and itâs your credit card.â
Rolling his eyes, Rowan muttered, âThank you for your generous help, Lorcan.â then heard someone scolding Lorcan and grinned before saying loud enough for the other person to hear, âThank you, Elide!â
Rowan hung up and mentally checked off the balloons. What was next?
***
âAedion, please, I need you to keep Aelin busy for the day.â
Aedion and Lysandra had come over to Rowan and Aelinâs apartment for dinner, and Rowan had dragged Aedion into the kitchen to talk about that weekendâs plan.
Taking a sip of his beer, Aedion raised an eyebrow at him, âWonât she wonder why her boyfriend is avoiding her on her birthday?â
Rowan rolled his eyes. âI wonât be avoiding her. You will very adamantly request to take your cousin to lunch for her birthday, and who am I to get in the way of family?â
Aedion snorted but nodded. âYeah, okay. Lys and I can take her out.â
âNo, Lys canât be there.â
âWhat?â Aedion looked at him bewildered. âWhy not?â
Rowan sighed. âBecause if Lysandra is there with you, then Aelin will wonder why Iâm not there with her. If itâs just you and Aelin, then she wonât think itâs weird that Iâm gone. Besides,â Rowan took another sip of beer, âIâll need Lysâ help during the day to set up that slideshow.â
âRight.â
The slideshow Rowan had asked Aedion and Lysandra to make using pictures of Aelin that would play during the party. The one that Aedion wasnât going to tell Rowan hadnât been started yet. âYeah, okay. Iâll invite Aelin to come get lunch with me.â
âPerfect.â
One more thing off Rowanâs list.
***
The morning of the party Rowan asked Fenrys to go pick up Aelinâs cake. It was supposed to be a chocolate and hazelnut cake with the top decorated with kingsflame blossoms and say, âHappy Birthday Aelin.â
Rowan was distracted with setting up decorations and directing their friends to put away the things they brought. Dorian and Manon were in charge of getting the alcohol. Chaol and Yrene were bringing deserts because when it came to Aelin there could never be enough sweets. Fenrys helped Rowan bring out the rest of the food, before being sent off to pick up the cake.
Rowan did a quick scan, mentally checking off everyone. Besides the people he could see, he knew Lysandra was in the gazebo finishing up the slideshow, Aedion was out distracting Aelin, and Elide and Lorcan would be here any minute with the balloons.
Letting out a breath, Rowan smiled. Things seemed to be coming together.
Busy showing Dorian where the coolers for the drinks were, he was too distracted to do more than wave a âhelloâ to Lorcan and Elide as Lorcanâs truck pulled up to the park. Rowan decided they were smart enough to figure out how to set up a balloon archâor at least Elide could read the directions to a grumbling Lorcan, so Rowan spent the next half hour with other parts of the setup.
After he finished hanging up the screen they were going to use for the picture slideshow, Rowan went to check on the balloons.
He made it two steps out of the large gazebo and stopped in his tracks.
âWhat the fuck is this?â Rowan exclaimed, gaping at the large monstrosity in front of him.
Instead of looking at a beautiful, arched balloon canopy, he was looking at a massive, inflatable, childâs bouncy castle.
âWhat do you mean âwhat the fuck is this?ââ Lorcan asked, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead and stepping around the side of the castle. âThis is what you asked for.â
âThis is not what I asked for.â Rowan could feel his mouth still hanging open and quickly shut it.
Elide looked at Rowan in confusion. âRowan, you did ask for this. I mean, I definitely thought it was weird that Aelin would want a blow-up bounce house for her birthday, but when Lor asked if you were sure, you insisted it was right.â
Rowan tried to remember that particular conversation. He had so many details in his head and too many people in charge of different things.
âShit.â The phone call was coming back to Rowan to now. âWe kept getting cut off. Shit,â He ran an exasperated hand through his hair making it all stand up on end. He swung around towards Lorcan who looked at him with raised brows. âWhat did you think I was asking you to get?â
Lorcan slowly looked between the bouncy house and Rowan. âYou asked me to get a Bounce Castle.â
For fucks sake.
âI asked you to get a Balloon Canopy.â
Elideâs mouth opened in an âOâ and Lorcan said nothing until a moment later he was laughing, bent over at the waist.
âYou wanted balloons, and now Galathynius has a bounce castle.â He managed between breaths, ignoring Rowanâs fuming look. It took Elide elbowing him in the side to get him to stop laughing.
âI donât have time for this. Fix this.â Rowan waved his arms around at the massive blow-up castle, and then he turned around to find something he could actually focus on, trying his best to ignore the increasingly greying clouds in the sky.
âYou still paying?â Lorcan called after him.
He let out a string of curses. âYes.â
Rowan just barely heard the sound of air being let out of the castle as he walked away.
***
A shriek drew Rowanâs attention away from the chairs he was unfolding. He turned towards the gazebo to see Lysandra throw a small ice bucket, mostly filled with water at this point, at the screen Rowan had set up earlier.
The screen that was on fire.
Running in to help, Rowan saw that the candles placed around it had been litâwhy the hell would someone already light them? The wind mustâve blown the screen too close causing it to catch fire.
He reached Lysandra just as she threw another bucket of icy water on the screen, dousing the rest of the flames.
âAre you okay?â He looked over Lysandra, but she just seemed shocked and irritated.
âIâm fine.â She gave him a reassuring nod before scowling at the destroyed screen. âThis, though, is pretty much dead.â she sighed and closed her laptop she was using to work on the slideshow. âIt doesnât look like weâll be showing pictures today, Rowan.â
He rubbed at his face. Fine. Okay. He could deal with this. They had a childrenâs bounce house and no slideshow. That was fine. As long as nothing else went wrong, he could deal with it.
As if in response to his thought, the day began to dim as clouds moved to cover the sun. If Rowan didnât look at the heavy clouds, they would disappear.
That was when Fenrys came back with the cake.
***
âAlien?! I canât give my girlfriend a birthday cake thatâs calling her an Alien!â
Fenrys almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous Rowan looked with his hair sticking up and face all red, but he knew this was just the latest in a list of âthings gone wrongâ and was worried that if he laughed then he wouldnât live to see the birthday girl.
âMaybe sheâll find it funny,â Fenrys suggested.
Rowan slowly turned toward him with an almost crazed look in his eye. âFunny? You think Aelin will find all this,â he waved his hands at the deflating bounce house, charred hanging screen, and the horribly incorrect cake, âFunny?â
â...Maybe?â Honestly, Fenrys thought Aelin would find it all hilarious but decided to keep his mouth shut. He knew how much work and energy Rowan put into this party, and he worried for his friendâs mental state as he counted all the things that had already gone wrong.
Rowan just dropped his head in his hands and groaned.
***
As soon as Rowan unpacked the last of the food, he heard a boom of thunder.
âThis is not happening.â He muttered to himself, refusing to look at what was surely the worst thing that could happen that day.
A moment later he heard the unmistakable sound of hard, fast rain. The yelps from his friends broke him out of his haze and he turned to see everyone rush into the covered gazebo, careful to keep close to the center where they could stay dry.
Everyone besides Yrene, who had been helping Rowan with the food, were varying levels of soaked. And all the decorations theyâd been holding were either stuck outside taking the worst of the rain or dragged inside to drip water onto the floor.
Rowan didnât say anything, he just grabbed the beer bottle out of Aedionâs hand and took a long swig.
***
Looking around, Rowan surveyed the damage. Where a nice balloon canopy shouldâve been positioned, a large, deflated, childâs bounce castle stood in its place; the screen he was going to use to show a slideshow of Aelin was burnt to a crisp; the rain pouring down was soaking the park and wrecking everything brought in from the cars, and the perfect cake for his girlfriend was ruined by calling her Alien.
But at least all their friends showed up.
That was the one good thing to come out of this disaster of a party. Even if they were all dripping wet and shivering from their walks from their cars to the covered gazebo in the middle of the park.
Dorian walked up to where Rowan and Aedion were talking about the cousinâs lunch. He took a sip of his drink and asked them, âSo, what time is Aelin is getting here?â
Rowan and Aedion both turned towards each other.
âWhat time did youââ
âWhen did you sayââ
They both froze.
Rowan slowly blinked. âAedion, you did tell Aelin what time to come tonight, right?â
Aedion shook his head, wincing, âNo, man. I was taking her out to lunch. You were supposed to find a reason to get her to the park.â
A dull roaring started in Rowanâs head. He thought over everything he had on his list.
Rent out gazebo: Check.
Delegate decorations: unsuccessful, but Check.
Order cake: again, unsuccessful, but Check.
Get friends to show up: Check.
Buy Aelinâs present: Check
Invite AelinâŠ
âFuck. Shit. Fuck me. No, no, no, no, no⊠Gods damn it!â
Before anyone could another word, Rowan pulled his keys from his pocket and sprinted into the rain towards his car.
***
Aelin loved her birthday.
Usually.
She loved celebrating with her friends and laughing about the stupid gag gift they bought her. She loved making a wish on her candles and she even loved the awkward minute of listening to people sing happy birthday.
Last year, Rowan had woken her up to a particularly amazing round of birthday sex. Which turned into another round in the kitchen and then another one in the shower. He had also spent the day last year doing her favorite things and ending the night with a wonderful dinner at her favorite restaurant.
Which was why she had been so excited to see what this birthday would bring.
Her morning began exactly how she hoped: with Rowanâs tongue between her legs. Heâd woken her up slowly, lazily, until she was squirming on the sheets with her hand fisted in his hair.
Sheâd hoped their morning tumble was the start of a very satisfying day, but soon afterward Rowan left saying he had to make a work call and she should get ready for her lunch with Aedion.
As much as she loved her cousin, all Aelin really wanted to do was stay inside with Rowan all day, clothing-optional. Actually, clothing-nonexistent.
But she did want to see Aedion, and apparently, Rowanâs work call was pressing enough that he practically ran out the door.
Lunch was nice. She hadnât had one-on-one time with Aedion in a while, but she couldnât help but notice how antsy he seemed.
âWhat arenât you telling me?â She asked him after the waiter took their set down their drinks.
Her cousin choked on the sip heâd taken, and she raised an eyebrow at him.
âWhat?â He sputtered. âIâm not not telling you anything.â
âUh huh.â
He rolled his eyes. âThereâs nothing Ae, donât sweat it.â
âIt looks like youâre the one sweating Aedion.â Leaning back in her chair she smirked and crossed her arms. âDid you get me something youâre worried I wonât like?â she joked.
âHm? Oh, yeah, exactly! Lysandra picked it out but I donât know if youâll like it.â
Aelin rolled her eyes at her cousin. âPlease, if Lys picked out whatever it is, then Iâm sure Iâll love it.â Her smirk turned into a genuine smile. âBut, itâs from you so I know Iâll like it.â
He laughed but she thought he still looked a bit anxious. Deciding not to worry about whatever else had him fidgety, she let it go.
When she got back to her and Rowanâs apartment, she expected he would be there. He wasnât.
Aelin didnât think a work call would take the two hours sheâd been out with Aedion, so she hoped Rowan would be back soon. She hadnât talked about plans today because last year he had been so eager to take the lead.
So she waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Three hours later she was irate, hurt, and confused. How could he just up and disappear on her birthday? If he was busyâif something came up that he needed to deal withâhe shouldâve just told her. She still would be upset, but sheâd have understood.
But he hadnât said anything. He hadnât called or texted. Rowan hadnât given her any explanation as to why she was alone now on her birthday.
Aelin walked into the kitchen and was about to pour herself a glass of wine when she heard loud noises from the hall outside her apartment door. It sounded like heavy, stampeding footsteps.
And then Rowan was bursting into their apartment.
He was breathing heavily, soaking wet, and looking at her with such an apologetic expression that she momentarily forgot why she was angry.
âAelin,â he panted, trying to get a breath, âI am so sorry.â
Right. That was why she was angry.
She crossed her arms over her chest and took in his disheveled appearance, trying desperately to understand why he was so out of sorts.
âWhat happened to you?â
Rowan loosed a long, heavy breath and stepped closer to her. âAelin, gods, Iâm an idiot.â
âYes, you are.â She agreed. âBut, explain to me why.â
Rowan took another step towards her and she let him.
âI had a whole thing plannedâ I still do, kind of, but itâs basically ruined at this pointââ Rowan started talking faster and Aelin struggled to keep up. âI planned an amazing surprise party for you, I spent weeks getting things organized. I had all our friends come out to help, theyâre all still out at the parkâI rented out the parkâtheyâd better all still be there, anyway.â
He took a breath and Aelinâs anger slowly started to fade, but then she remembered sitting alone in her apartment for three hours and stared at him until he continued his explanation.
âThere were supposed to be balloons, golden ones! And photos of you, and a cake, but all of it got ruined.â Rowan ran an angry hand through his hair. âLorcan thought I asked him for a bounce castleâ a bounce castle! Then the screen caught on fire, and then there was a mess up with the cake that you donât even want to know about.â
He finally looked back at her, pleadingly, hoping she could understand how sorry he was. âBut the worst part, which was one-hundred-percent my fault, was that I forgot to invite you to your own party.â
Aelin was wide-eyed by the end of his speech. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Rowan grabbed her hand and looked down at her with sorry eyes. âPlease, forgive me.â
âForgive you?â
His face crumpled and he leaned to press it into her shoulder. She heard him grumble, âFuck. I ruined your birthday, Iâm so sorry.â
Aelin pulled away to hold his face between her hands. She waited until his eyes opened to say, âRowan, you planned that whole thing? For me?â
His brow furrowed as if he couldnât understand why she would ask that. âOf course, I did. I know how much you wanted a surprise party, butââ
âBut nothing.â She cut him off pressing her mouth firmly against his. Rowan was too surprised at her reaction to reciprocate, but she pulled back just as fast.
âOkay, yes, not inviting me to my own party was a bad move,â He winced. âBut, everything else you did was amazing.â When he still looked skeptically at her she continued, âthe rest of that stuff; the weather, the cake, the fire, Lorcanâs bad judgmentânone of that was your fault.â
Rowan finally cracked a smile at the last bit.
âSo,â he searched her face for any clues, âyouâre not upset?â
Aelin laughed at pulled Rowan down for another kiss. This time, he eagerly returned it and wrapped one arm around her waist and the other moved so his hand could hold the back of her head. They stood wrapped up in each other for a minute, deepening the kiss before they both pulled back for air.
âIâm not mad. I was, before when I thought youâd ditched me on my birthday. But Iâm not anymore now that I know you spent the day trying to make me happy."
Aelin pulled back further to give him a stern look. âBut I will be angry if you donât bring me to this party right now.â
He pulled her back into him and let out a relieved laugh.
âLetâs get the birthday girl to her party.â
***
The drive from their apartment to the park was filled with Rowan telling Aelin about everything that had gone wrong. His fingers intertwined with her over the middle console and she listened as he told her about the crazy day.
âWhy someone would light the candles so early in the day is beyond me.â He grumbled and Aelin chuckled at the bitterness in his tone.
âIâm sure the slideshow wouldâve been great.â She perked up. âOh my gods, that was why Aedion was so weird at lunch.â
Rowan glanced side longed at her. âHe was weird?â
âYeah, real fidgety, wouldnât always look me in the eye. He said it was because he was worried I wouldnât like my present, but I knew that was a load of bullshit.â She laughed, remembering how relived his face had been when she offered that excuse.
Rowan rolled his eyes but watched as the sky began to clear.
âGood, the rains finally stopping. I told the others to finish putting up decorations if the weather cleared.â
âThereâs more?â Aelin questioned, thinking of everything heâd already told her about.
âA bit. I gave Fen a list of stuff to buy, but knowing him, he picked up some things that I didnât tell him to. So, who knows what weâll see when we get there.â He groaned thinking about it, but Aelin just laughed.
âItâs a couple of decorations, Ro. Iâm sure theyâve got it handled.â
When they finally pulled into the parking lot nearest the gazebo, Aelin and Rowan didnât get out of the cart immediately. They watched the scene in front of them in bewilderment
Lorcan was throwing a rope over a tree branchâAelin assumed it was because he was the tallestâtying one end to the trunk and the other end was attached to a large pinata.
âIs thatâŠ?â She was so confused about what was happening.
âAre you fucking kidding me, Fen?â Rowan seethed.
âFen did that? Why would Fenrys buy an Alien pinata?â Aelin suddenly had more questions than answers.
Rowan rubbed his hands down his face, muffling his curses.
âDonât ask.â
Aelin watched as Aedion picked up the stick and took a couple of practice swings.
âWhat? Theyâre gonna start without us?â Aelin pulled Rowanâs hand off his face and made him look at her. âHey. I know this didnât go like youâd planned, but it's still pretty great, and everyone is here and having a good time. And thereâs cake, right?â
âThereâs cake.â
Rowan refrained from reminding her that all the guests had trekked in and out of the rain that afternoon setting up and half the supplies were ruined or nonexistent. Apparently, she could see all that in his face though so Aelin leaned over and kissed him.
âLetâs go, come on.â
At some point during their conversation, Lysandra had found the blindfold and tied it around Aedionâs head. The rest of the group, minus Manon and Dorian who had snuck off somewhere she didnât want to think about too much, stood around as Fenrys cheered and Aedion swung.
He missed the first time, but as he prepped himself to swing again, Aelin and Rowan climbed out of the car and walked toward the group.
âAelin!â Fenrys called, eyes going wide as he called her name.
Everyone else whipped around to face her and Rowan and yell âSurprise!â
Unfortunately, Aedion still had a stick in his hands; and he quickly turned, it nailed Fenrys in the head.
Rowan stood there gaping as Fenrys let out a loud sound between a yelp and a groan, before falling to the ground, knocked out.
âShit! Whoâd I hit?â Aedion asked as he ripped off the blindfold, and tuned to see whatâor, whoâexactly he had swung at.
Mostly in shock, a little bit in amusement, everyone watched as Fenrys slowly groaned, lifted his head only to wince and bring his hand up to hold it, and opened his eyes.
ââŠSurpriseâ
***
âYou know, this may be my most memorable birthday.â Aelin was perched on Rowanâs lap, eating a piece of the outer space-themed cake.
Her boyfriend groaned and pressed his face into her shoulder.
âIâll take it. Memorable is better than disastrous.â
She threw her head back and laughed.
After Fenrys woke up, Yrene came over to check on him and make sure he was going to be alright. She didnât think he had a concussion, but she put Aedion in charge of watching him. His punishment, apparently. They were currently at another table with Lysandra, Lorcan, and Elide.
Aelin looked over to the other end of the gazebo and watched as Chaol and Yrene sat with Dorian and Manon, the latter was trying her best to pretend she was interested in the conversation. By the heated looks she and Dorian were giving each other, Aelin didnât think those two would be sticking around too long.
Turning back to Rowan, Aelin smiled.
âThank you, Buzzard. I love it.â She grinned as he rolled his eyes, but he tightened his grip on her and pulled her face down to his.
âHappy Birthday, Fireheart.â
*****
Taglist:
@acourtofsnakes @allthebooksunderthemoon @astra-ad-mare @becarefuloflove @bisexual-genderfluid-loki @booklover41802 @charlizeed @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @danibutterr @doubt-less @emily-gsh @enormousbooklover @foughtconquered @fromthelibraryofemilyj @hakunamatatazz @i-have-but-one-brain-cell @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jorjy-jo @lemonade-coolattas @mariamuses @mayhemories @midsizewitch @miserablesmusings @morganofthewildfire @nehemikkele @rowaelinismyotp @rowansfirebringer @sayosdreams @sheharahu @sleeping-and-books @stardelia @story-scribbler @superspiritfestival @surielandiareendgame @swankii-art-teacher @tomtenadia @westofmoon @whimsicallyreading @ladygabrielli1997
#aelin#rowan#rowaelin#aelin galathynius x rowan whitethorn#rowan x aelin#aelin x rowan#aelin galathynius#rowan whitethorn#rowaelin fluff#rowaelin fic#rowaelin au#rowaelin smut#rowaelin fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#au#birthday#throne of glass#tog#elide#lorcan#elorcan#lorcan x elide#elide x lorcan#dorian#manon#manorian#dorian x manon#manon x dorian#chaol x yrene
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âitâs nothing. itâs just a bruise.â with Obi-wan?
Hello again, my friend!! Thanks you for the prompt!! This onee kinda got away from me so I posted it on Ao3, but you can read the whole thing under the cut too!
Read on Ao3
Anakin didnât really know this Obi-Wan person all that well yet, but he could tell there was something wrong with him. Well, something wrong besides the quiet mourning he was clearly trying to keep hidden. He wasnât all that successful, but Anakin wasnât going to call him out on it.
Of course, Anakin was sad too. As if it wasnât enough that his mother could not come with him, the man who had finally managed to free him was dead.
But Anakin knew that Obi-Wan was feeling the loss more acutely. Anakin could sense that Obi-Wan had held great respect, admiration and love for his late Master. He could also sense his grief, even if he was skilled at hiding it behind walls.
That didnât matter right now. What mattered was the way Obi-Wan was pale and shaking slightly underneath all of his robes. He was sitting hunched forward on the little couch in their quarters, his elbows on his knees. His gaze was unfocused, and as far as Anakin could tell, he hadnât eaten anything recently either.
âMr. Kenobi sir?â Anakin said shyly.
Slowly, Obi-Wanâs gaze turned to Anakin. He looked like he was trying to focus his eyes. âI told you that you can just call me Master or Obi-Wan if you prefer,â he said softly.
âObi-Wan,â Anakin corrected. âAre you alright?â
Obi-Wan nodded the affirmative, but Anakin wasnât convinced.
âYouâre not looking so good.â
âIâm fine, Anakin.â
âDo you want me to get you something to eat?â Anakin actually had no idea how he would acquire food for Obi-Wan. He didnât know where anything was, and even if he did, he didnât know how to cook anything. But if Obi-Wan wanted something, Anakin would do his best to get it for him.
âNo, Iâm fine. Not really hungry.â
Anakin frowned. âAre you sure youâre alright?â
Obi-Wan nodded sullenly. âIâm sure. Iâm going to go to bed though. I know itâs early for you. You can stay out here and watch the holo if you want, I guess. Just⊠Donât wander alone in the halls yet. I donât want you to get lost.â
Anakin didnât want to get lost either. The temple was huge and this morning when Obi-Wan had given him the tour, the other padawans stared at him. Even some of the knights and masters stared at him. No, he had no desire to leave the safety of their quarters just yet.
Anakin couldnât help but feel a little disappointed. This was officially his first night in the temple. They had arrived from Naboo this morning and they had gotten situated in the small apartment. Heâd hoped Obi-Wan would have wanted to spend a little more time with him, getting to know him and all that.
âOkay, Obi-Wan,â Anakin said quietly. âGoodnight.â
âGoodnight, Padawan,â Obi-Wan said, but the look on his face indicated the word felt weird on his lips. He shook his head. âGood night, Anakin.â
Anakin nodded at him as he took his leave.
Anakin sighed and flipped on the holo. Heâd never had a holo before, but he quickly figured out how to work it. He stared at the moving images in wonderment, flipping through channel after channel, never settling on one thing â just content to watch the moving images.
He didnât know how much time had passed before he heard shuffling from the hallway behind him. He turned around and saw Obi-Wan stumbling towards the fresher. Anakin flicked off the holo and raced after Obi-Wan.
When he got to the fresher, Obi-Wan was already there, leaning heavily over the toilet and heaving into it.
âObi-Wan?â Anakin asked nervously. âAre you okay?â
Anakin cringed. Of course he wasnât okay. It was a dumb question, though it didnât seem to matter. Obi-Wan couldnât answer him at the moment anyway.
Anakin tried to remember everything that his mother had ever done for him when he was sick. He remembered his mom rubbing his back. Slowly, Anakin approached Obi-Wan and laid a gentle hand on his back.
Obi-Wan yelped and jumped sideways as far as he could in his weakened state. Anakin yanked his hand back in alarm.
âWhatââ
Obi-Wan was breathing heavily and his eyes were squeezed shut.
âWhatâs wrong?â Anakin asked, his voice coming out smaller and squeakier than he would like.
âItâs nothing, itâs just a bruise,â Obi-Wan said. âIâm sorry, I didnât mean to scare you.â
âA bruise?â
âOn my back,â Obi-Wan panted.
Anakin took a step closer to him. âCan I look?â
Obi-Wan looked a little unsure. âYes,â he finally said.
With careful fingers, Anakin slowly lifted up Obi-Wanâs shirt. He gasped at the dark purple bruising all over his back. His stomach sank. He immediately turned and looked at the contents of the toilet and then back at Obi-Wan. It was only then that he realized there was blood on his lips and his chin.
âObi-Wan, you need a healer,â Anakin said, panic rising in his voice. âYou⊠youâre throwing up blood thatâs not⊠when the slaves would get beaten too hard theyâŠâ
âShhh, Anakin, itâs alright.â
âNo!â Anakin shouted. âNo, youâre⊠youâre dying and Iââ
âIâm not dying,â Obi-Wan said. He put his hands on the ground and moved to stand up. It was an ill-conceived attempt. He fell back down to the ground with a soft thud. He looked up at Anakin but his eyes were unfocused. âOkay, maybe thatâs not a good sign.â
Obi-Wan coughed and blood spluttered out of his mouth. âYeah, not a good sign,â he murmured.
Anakinâs panic rose. âWhat do we do?â
Obi-Wan lay down fully on the tile floor. He glanced up at Anakin. âGo find a healer.â
âWhat?â
âIn the halls of healing. Remember, I showed it to you this morning when I took you around the temple? Go there and find someone. They can help.â
Anakin nodded. âOkay,â he said, trying to make his voice sound even and sure. âJust stay here, donât try to get up.â
âDonât think I could even if I wanted to.â
From the look on Obi-Wanâs face, Anakin could tell that he meant it to sound light-hearted, but it only added to Anakinâs worry. He gave Obi-Wan a parting glance before darting off into their quarters and out the front door. He ran in the direction of the halls of healing, or at least he ran in the direction he thought the halls of healing were in. The more he ran, the less familiar everything appeared. Anakin paused when he entered a great room with large pillars and beautiful art on all the walls. He had no idea where he was and his eyes welled up with tears.
âHey little one,â a female voice said from behind him. âAre you okay?â
Anakin whirled around and came face to face with a tall, pink-skinned mon calamari woman. âUm.â
âYou must be Anakin,â the woman said. âIâve been very excited to meet you. Whereâs your Master?â
The tears welling up in Anakinâs eyes spilled over.
âHey, hey, whatâs wrong, little one?â
âObi-Wan is hurt and he... he sent me to get a healer but Iâ I donât know where to go,â Anakin said around choked sobs.
The womanâs face turned serious. âHe sent you to get a healer?â
âUh-huh.â
âWell, itâs your lucky day. Iâm a healer. Come with me,â she said. She reached out a webbed hand and Anakin took it, grateful for the direction and the physical comfort of it.
They made their way back to Obi-Wan.
***
An unshakeable feeling of heaviness was what greeted Obi-Wan when he woke up. He groaned and fluttered his eyes open. A figure stood before him, and his eyes focused to reveal Master Che. He groaned again.
âGlad to see youâre still with us,â she said. âThank the Force Anakin was able to find Bant and they got to you when they did.â
âHuh?â
âYou had your new Padawan worried sick. Poor kid,â Vokara said, shaking her head.
ââkin?â Obi-Wan asked. âWhere?â
âHeâs fine. Heâs with Bant right now. Sheâs showing him her medical instruments.â
âOh. Thatâs good. What happened?â
âI was kind of hoping you would tell me that,â Vokara Che said, fixing him with a glare. âYou had internal bleeding, Obi-Wan. Your kidneys were failing. There were massive bruises on your back. How did you even get those?
Oh. Oh yeah.
âDuring the fight with the⊠with the Sith. I fell off a catwalk and landed on another one below it. Landed on my back,â Obi-Wan said weakly.
âObi-Wan that was three days ago,â Vokara said. âYouâre lucky it wasnât initially too severe.â
âInitially?â
âYou would have been fine if you immediately got medical treatment.â
âI was busy,â Obi-Wan said simply. It was true. He had to tend to the hasty funeral arrangments and then the parade and then he had to take Anakin back to Coruscant and then he had to convince the Council to let him keep him and then⊠well then his body had started to give out on him. Vokara gave him a sympathetic look. He felt small underneath it.
âI know. But you need to take care of yourself. You have a Padawan now.â
Obi-Wanâs breath hitched.
âOh, Obi-Wan,â Vokara Che said. She squeezed his shoulder. âItâll be alright.â
He put his face in his hands and stifled a sob.
âItâll be alright,â Vokara Che repeated. âTrust in the Force.â
Obi-Wan nodded, sniffed and steeled himself. âRight. Right. Iâm sorry.â
âDonât be. Youâve been through a lot, young Kenobi.â
He didnât know what to say to that, so he offered a simple nod.
âIs it alright if I go get Anakin?â Vokara asked. âHeâs been dying to see you.â
âThatâs fine,â Obi-Wan said. Vokara turned and left, presumably to retrieve Anakin.
In truth, Obi-Wan wasnât sure he wanted his brand new Padawan to see him like this, but he knew it was important for the boy to see that he was okay â that he still had someone in this strange new place to stand by his side.
âObi-Wan!â Anakin shouted as he burst through the door. Obi-Wan winced.
âOh, sorry,â Anakin said in a whisper this time.
âItâs alright.â
âAre you okay?â Anakin asked.
âYes, Iâm fine, Anakin.â
âThatâs good. I donât really know anyone else here. Well, actually, I know Miss Bant now and sheâs really nice, but I donât really know anyone else and I like you and Iââ
âAnakin,â Obi-Wan said softly. âVolume.â
âSorry,â he said sheepishly.
Obi-Wan played with a loose string on the edge of his blanket. He ripped a few of the stitches but stopped before he could do any more damage to the innocent garment. He could feel Anakin hovering awkwardly next to him.
âYou donât have to stay here, you know? You can go back to our quarters if you want.â
Anakin shook his head vigorously. âNo, I canât!â
âWhy not?â
âIâ I donât know how to get there.â
Oh. Right.
âWell, Iâm sure Bant or one of the other healers would be more than willing toââ
âNo!â Anakin said quickly. âI donât want to go. I want to stay with you.â
Obi-Wan couldnât help the little wave of warmth that filled his chest. âOkay,â he said. He then patted the bedsheets and nodded his head. âCome on then.â
Anakin gave a wide, toothy grin before he climbed up and snuggled himself into the cramped little space right next to Obi-Wan.
âAre you sure youâre alright?â Anakin asked.
âYeah,â Obi-Wan said. âYeah, Iâm alright. Letâs just get some sleep okay?â
âOkay,â Anakin said softly, his eyelids already fluttering closed. âGoodnight, Master Obi-Wan.â
âGoodnight, Padawan.â
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OKOK I WAS READING THESE HQ THREADS THEN I SAW IT ON TIKTOK (IF THAT MAKES SENSE) Basically you ask ur bf for these feminine products that donât exist (ex: coochie cleaner 3000) IM SORRY LMFAOO I WAS WONDERING IF U CAN DO BAKUGOU,SHINSO AND A CHARACTER OF UR CHOICE,HERES THE TT DONT MIND MY PROFILE THAT WILL MOST LIKELY SHOW UP IF U COPY N PASTE THE LINK https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe6U22uM/
getting non-existent feminine products
(tiktok prank)
character(s) : amajiki tamaki, bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi (bnha)
legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned
headcanon type : crack, fluff (x reader)
note(s) : i choose tamaki because iâve been lacking with him lately but NWNDNWKX please this trend is so funny đ
»»ââââ-ăâĄăââââ-««
amajiki tamaki
the fact that he even has to get you feminine products was enough to make him blush
yeah, even though he had to get you feminine products in the pastâ heâs still quite shy about getting them in the grocery store (itâs the stares, not the concept)
WHAT MORE WHEN YOU DECIDED TO PRANK HIM?? poor tamaki
âtamaki, could you buy me more feminine products?â and he stops in his tracks, and a blush spreads on his cheeks âs-sure. what do you want me to get?â
âcooch pouch version 2.â
he blinks, and it looks like he has to pass out, âc-come again?â
âcooch pouch version 2. itâs in purple and pink packaging, tama!â the fact that youâre not even the slightest bit of embarrassed, makes him shake.
âokay, bunny. just stay here.â he sighs, and gets out of the carâ and thatâs when tamaki set off to get you âcooch pouch version 2â
he was looking around the feminine product isle, and he was literally about to ditch everything, run back to the car and cry himself to sleep, when he couldnât find âcooch pouch version 2â
âmay i help you, sir?â an employee finally decides to offer their services, when they noticed that tamaki was stuck in the isle for quite sometime.
okay tamaki. youâre a part of UAâs big three. thereâs no need to be nervous because of this. he reassured himself first, before asking âd-do you have c-cooch pouch version 2?â
the employee blinks, âuh. cooch pouch version 2?â they ask again, and tamakiâ very reluctantly, nods.
the walk back to the car felt shameful. âso? did you find it?â you discreetly film his reaction, and he shakes his head, absolutely mortified
âthey,, didnât have it.â tamaki whispers, a very aggressive blush on his face was evident. âiâm so sorry, bunny. they were nice, and i really triedââ
you just laugh. âno, itâs okay tamaki. you donât have to look anymore.â you reassure him, patting him on the shoulder
you had to reassure him on your way back home đ he was just so mortified. you just agree to yourself that youâre never going to do that again
but on the brighter side, the tiktok did well, gathering 800k likes and 2.5M views. the comments were laughing at him, but they also felt REALLY bad
bakugou katsuki
katsukiâs already your errand boy, when it came to feminine products. heâs practically desensitized to it. even though he acts like heâs so annoyed by it
heâs so confused when he hears âsuper jumbo tampon deluxe; ribboned edition.â and heâd like to say that he isnât judging you
but he is, and itâs hard. âthe hellâs that?? what are you even putting down there??â and you chuckle at his reaction
âdonât tell me youâre wussing outâ on feminine products,â you tease, and he knows that. but he still rolls his eyes
âshut up. iâll go get them, youâll see.â he claims, opening the car door and marching off the to store
when he enters the feminine products section, he practically scans every single row for the packaging that has super jumbo tampon deluxe; ribboned edition on itâs front
but then thereâs none. so then, thatâs when his ruby red irises scan again, and again.
and of course, katsuki radiates intimidating energyâ so no one dared on asking him what he was looking for especially in the feminine products section
katsukiâ wanting to find the product, hesitates on asking for help, but he does anyway.
the employees blink, but they donât want to question his motivesâ the expression on his face was enough to make them search the entire isle
afterwards, katsuki angrily marches back to the carâ a slight blush showcased on his cheeks, most likely coming from shame
âso?â you have your phone in one hand, but itâs not very obvious that youâre filming him. âdid you get it?â
âyou.â he opens the car door, and slides right in, âyou. humiliated. me.â
you laugh at his expression, âso iâm guessing thatâs a no?â
âDUMBASS, SUPER JUMBO TAMPON DELUXE; RIBBONED EDITION DOESNâT EVEN EXIST. I LOOKED LIKE A FOOL.â he exclaims, irritated and humiliated by the entire encounter
and when you revealed that it was a prank, he,, wasnât very pleased.
katsuki takes away your kissing privileges, and heâs in a rather silent mood for the rest of the dayâ but he says heâll forget about it, if youâll cook him dinner
you posted the tiktok after you got home, and everyone just assumed you passed away in the hands of your boyfriend đ at least youâre tiktok famous now
shinsou hitoshi
again, also very desensitized to the idea of getting you feminine productsâ since, itâs not something that you can CONTROL freely
and heâs not in the right place to judge you anyway
he wonât make a big deal out of it, hitoshi will just get your products, and then camouflage it with things from the snack isle
so, hitoshiâs questioning youâ when you asked him to buy âurethra padding cleanserâ since heâs also familiar with the feminine products isle
he wasnât aware on what THAT even was, itâs pretty obviousâ due to the fact that his eyes were wide like saucers.
âkitten, do you need to go to the doctor?â he asksâ heâs half joking, but heâs also half serious because wtf is a urethra padding cleanser??
âno,â you shake your head, âyou said you wouldnât judge.â you fein being bashful, and this seems enough to trick him
âright, sorry kitten. itâs just very concerning that youâd need something like thatâ
you blink, and he raises his hands up in defeat âiâll,, try to find it.â even though he isnât very convinced that heâd find it
he enters the isle, and he scans every single rowâ and to no oneâs surprise, he canât find it
hitoshi decides to look around again, and when he turns aroundâ thereâs a clerk there, smiling at him, and also at his assistance
âhello! do you need help in finding something?â
thank you, store employee. heâs glad he doesnât have to ask âi,, guess you could say that. uh, does this store have a âurethra padding cleanserâ?â
the store clerk looks at him like heâs gone mad. âuh,â they look through the isle once again, âiâll be right back, weâll need some assistance.â
it doesnât take long for him to realize that âurethra padding cleanserâ doesnât. even. exist.
he decides that itâs probably best for him to buy some snacksâ because leaving the store empty handed feels weird to him.
the tall man apologizes to the staff as he leaves, and the walk back to the car is basically one long walk of shame
âit doesnât exist,â hitoshiâs quick to say, placing the snacks in your lapâ âurethra padding cleanser doesnât exist. i shouldâve trusted my gut.â
you snicker, and youâre glad that youâre filming his reactionâ because the look on his face is just priceless. âdid you ask for help?â
âi did, actually. they looked at me like i was on some weird shit,â he turns his head, and heâs now facing you âiâm never doing that again.â even though he actually goes back your next cycle, and gets you everything
when you finished recording the tiktokâ and also when you revealed that it was all a prank, hitoshi looks SO done
âwho wouldâve guessed,â he sighs, laying his head on your shoulder âyou got there, Y/N. iâll give you that.â and youâre lowkey lucky that he loves you a lot to not even care đ
you upload the tiktok in the following hours, and it does great. the comments were mostly laughing at his reaction at the end and they were also sympathetic for him
it somehow managed to get to kaminariâs fypâ considering that he sent you a video of him laughing hysterically the tiktok đż
needless to say, hitoshi will ask you if it IS a real product, the next time you make him buy products with,, weird and questionable names
»»ââââ-ăâĄăââââ-««
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and itâs characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission
#bnha imagines#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha imagines#bnha x y/n#bnha fluff#bakugou headcanons#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou imagines#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#mha fluff#amajiki headcanons#amajiki imagines#amajiki x reader#amajiki x y/n#amajiki tamaki x reader#amajiki x you#bakugou x you#shinsou imagines#shinsou headcanons#shinsou x y/n#shinsou x reader#shinsou hitoshi x reader#shinsou x you
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What a weird family reunion Reggie x Reader (xLuke)
gif originally posted by @jatpsourceâ
Word Count: 3515 words
 Summary: Youâre Reggieâs little sister. You were 3 when he died. Youâre now a ghost for a decade. One night, you recognize your brother and jumped into him to an unexpected family reunion. How is it going to happen? Will Reggie believe you? In a mysterious way, thatâs Luke who help you to convinced Reggie.
 Warnings: cuss (language), mention of death, mention of divorce, mention of drugs
 A/N: This is my first fic about jatp characters. Hope youâll enjoy! keep in mind that french is my first language, so iâm so sorry if thereâs some mistakes in my fic
 disclaimer: It takes place during episodes 6 and 7. I do not take into account the possibility of a Juke. The chemistry while they sing is there but no romantic feelings.
 Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanficsâ @standingtallloveâÂ
 _______
Losing a child is the worst thing a parent could live, losing two is unimaginable. Itâs seems being 17 years old was a new malediction in Peters family.
 You were 3 when your older brother, Reginald, died in a weird hot dog accident. At that point, your parents were literally a fight away from a divorce but never did it because of you. You were too young to be in a divided family, according to them. But Reggie's death separated them for good. Yet they really tried to support each other, to overcome that and give you all the attention you needed. But your mother overprotected you and made you live in the shadow of your late brother. Your dad couldn't stand it. And when they finally divorce, moving out from reggieâs childhood house, you went to live with your dad.
 Even though you were too young to form a strong bond with your brother, in a way you missed him. Your motherâs house was full of pictures of him, some of his clothes were still in a room, dedicated to him. When you visited your mother, you didnât understand why you always found yourself in this room. You were drawn like a magnet to the comforting room. Reggieâs presence in this new house brought you such a sense of security that your mother had repeatedly found you asleep on a pile of your brotherâs T-shirts.
 And then you died in 2009. Kanye West had interrupted Taylor Swift's speech at the VMAs, Miley Cyrus hadn't gone crazy yet and One Direction didn't exist yet. What an era! You didn't know why the great light didn't come looking for you but you were there, as a ghost in 2009. And the time has passed ... You've had your best concerts, the best parties. A forever teenager who couldn't eat, drink or sleep.
 And then 2020 came.
 âŠ
 You were tired of always doing the same thing for over a decade, but you couldn't help but go to every open scene that came up in your beautiful city. It was as if an inexplicable force was pushing you to go there.
 This evening was no exception to the rule and you were in a very hip little bar in the city center. You wore one of those sleeveless, gray crop tops with high waisted pants, your leather jacket draped over your shoulders. Your eyes were directly drawn to a group of girls in colorful costumes. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. It's been 10 years since you died and it seemed to you that these girls looked like the same plagues that ruined the lives of so many teenagers in your time. You put on an expression of disgust when they all took the stage, but when the music started you couldn't help but admit it was pretty catchy. However, you didn't expect a ghost to appear in the middle of the stage, improvising a choreography. Was that part of the show?
 But looking at the audience's non-reaction, you knew it wasn't. The ghost disappeared for the first time, and your gaze sought directly the distinctive light source of another apparition in the room. Your gaze lingered on a small group of three boys - the blond boy included - and two girls. You have wrinkled your eyes to better distinguish the teenagers, and your face expressed confusion.
 âReggie? â
 You wanted to go see him so badly. You were pretty sure it was your brother but it all came too fast. The moment you decided to walk towards them, the organizer announced a new band.
 âOkay, looks like we're close the night out with one more groupâŠJulie and the fat ones.â
 What was that for a name? Your attention had been diverted and when you looked back at the group, the boys had disappeared as one of the young girls took the stage. Your heart was beating so fast. You couldn't go wrong; you had seen so many pictures at your mother's house that it was impossible that this boy was not your brother. But you missed your chanceâŠ
 Julie started to sing and your eyes were captivated, as much as your ears were. This kid was so talented! When she sang a rather high note, the tension in the room charged into electricity. The next second, the young singer was joined by the group of boys you had seen in her company. Appearing distinctly as the ghosts did. On drums there was the blond boy you had seen dancing a few moments earlier, on the electric guitar, a boy with tousled brown hair who seemed slightly familiar to you ... and on bass, with a flannel shirt, there was your brother ... Reggie was there, identical to the photos you had admired so much.
 The bar was on fire as Julie and The Phantoms performed. What a sick name for a group made up of two-thirds of ghosts! The song was so catchy that your heart beat to the sound of the music. But your eyes did not leave your brother, you were unable to move, frozen in place. What should you do ? Will you introduce yourself after the performance? And, what would you say? "Hey hi Reggie, I'm your sister, I died ten years ago and you twenty-five years ago. Unbelievable, right?! Nice to see you again" And once again, before you knew it, the song was over and the boys were gone again, leaving Julie alone on stage in the bewilderment of the many people in the facility.
 âfor God's sake, where are they?â
 You didn't want to miss it anymore. Even though the whole situation was strange, you wanted to see your brother again.
 Your eyes flew over the room before seeing the scene play out before your eyes. Julie seemed petrified in front of a man. The boys watched in amazement and as Julie left with what appeared to be her father, you rushed over to the group of three musicians before they disappeared again.
 âomg please don't poof out again.â You said almost out of breath
 The boys looked at you like you were crazy before the guitarist jumped off the bar counter, bursting with energy.
 "Wait, you can see us?"
 âas much as when mister "all eyes on me" made his performanceâ, you were pointing your head at the blond boy.
 The group looked at each other in puzzlement and Reggie finally spoke, his blue eyes full of mischief.
 âSoâŠhi there cutie, how can we help you?â
 Your face expressed disgust and you stuck your tongue out mimicking vomiting.
Luke gave Alex an amused smile, seeing Reggie flirting and your spontaneous reaction. The bassist couldn't help but charm the pretty ladies.
 âWow Reggie, that's gross ... you're my brother.â
  Reggie burst out laughing at your response, not noticing that you called him by his first name when he hadn't even introduced himself to you yet.
 âYeah right, for sure. You just could tell me you werenât interested. But Iâm charming...â
 It was the first time he had been given such an excuse but you looked so serious that he stopped dead in his tracks as Luke and Alex watched you. They always knew Reggie had a sister. But the scene unfolding before their eyes seemed impossible. (Y / N) was so young when they died and now must have been around 28, something like that. But the girl in front of them was a teenager, their age. How was this possible?
 You didn't want to drop the information like that. It was worse than anything you could have imagined. But it had escaped you. Now he didn't take you seriously. Your eyes were wet with tears. It was scary to find you in front of your brother for the first time as a ghost teenager. Luke looked panicked when he noticed your eyes, squeezing Reggie's shoulder as you seemed to beg.
 âCan I ... can I meet you in a quieter time please, Reginald?â
 Your brother's eyes widened as Luke's hug on his shoulder tightened a bit. The eagerness and desperation in your voice had made both boys react, Alex was just looking at all of you like all of this wasn't real. The use of Reggie's name made him tense, surprised. Few called him Reginald. In fact, only his family, and the boys when they wanted to annoy him, called him that way. And although his nickname is obvious enough to deduce his
full first name, he deeply felt that you weren't just anyone.
  He seemed a little panicked and looked around for his friends to support him. As if the solution would fall by itself just by the presence of Luke and Alex.
 âOkay, but I want Luke and Alexâs there! What about tomorrow? Iâll give you the address!â
 Wow, that was quick.
 âhm, yeah, yeah sure, as you wantâ
 You nodded and Reggie silently slipped a note to the drummer. Alex took a pen, write something on a paper towel and gave it to you. You werenât surprise, you also can make some tricks. And you just had the time to thanks them before they poofted again.
 âŠ
 The next day, you landed in front of Julie's garage. Lucky she's at school because you shouldn't be explaining your presence, so she managed to see you the way she saw boys.
 Before entering, you peeked out the window and frowned. There seemed to be only Luke so far. He was leaning over the piano, his head in a notebook. Your body went through part of the garage door and you cleared your throat.
 âhmm, hi ... i came to see Reggie ..â
 Luke instantly raised his head and you caught his attention.
 âoh uh, hi! He should be here soon, come in.âŠ.â
 Silence felt as Luke motioned for you to sit on the couch. It was a rather pleasant studio; the plants gave a warm atmosphere to the room and the music set sent you good vibes.
 "Does your girlfriend mind that I'm here? I mean, that seems to be your HQ"
 "girlfriend?"
 "The girl you sing with" I simply said.
 "Julie? Um, yeah, she's not my girlfriend. She-sh-sheâs great and we have this powerful connection butâŠnot, not in a romantic way. Music tied us. Music and friendship "
 Luke chuckled lightly as he scratched his head. You were surprised they weren't dating. Yesterday the tension was intense. He seemed authentic when he had continued his momentum. You let out a smile amused by so much overflow.
 âIt's okay, I don't need to know your full relationship statute or your social security number.â
 The guitarist gave you a frank smile, his eyes twinkling with amusement. For a ghost, his gaze was really alive.
 â Iâm Luke, by the wayâ
 "Y / N⊠Re .."
 "Reggie's little sister⊠I-I remember you a little."
 "You look familiar to me. Maybe I saw you in a few pictures with Reggie."
 Silence fell and you started to feel anxious. Maybe it was a bad idea? You had grown up since Reggie died ... were you still his little sister after all? Luke seemed to notice your dismay and put a comforting hand on your knee.
 âhey, is something bothering you?â
 âWhat if he doesn't believe me ... if he definitely thinks I'm not his sister.â
 âLet's be honest, it's a little hard to believe. The last time I saw you, you were three years old.â
 It was as if the memories flooded into your mind and let you carried away in your words.
 âYeah, you gave me this teddy bear with a guitar and told Reggie you wanted to be my favorite.â
 Luke chuckled slightly before staring at you, speechless. He seemed dazed. This anecdote dates back to twenty-five years anyway. He himself had a hard time remembering it until you said it a few seconds earlier.
 âwhat was the smell of the stuffed animal?â he asked, confused about that funny fact
 âsorry, what?â
 âthe plush, what did it smell like?â
 âhot waffle, why?â
 âokay ... maybe you are his sister ... tell me more about what you rememberâ
 You looked at him with a puzzled expression. Everything had been so natural before he stopped in all the movements. And now, it was hard to think about for the memories you had of Reggie on demand. The teddy bear given by Luke story had slipped out of your mind without you realizing it. As your brain seemed to boil, the fog of your thoughts cleared.
 âcan I use your guitar?â
 âhell no ... why?â Luke exclaimed with far too much anticipation
 âI have this lullaby stuck inside of my head ... I think Reggie sang it to me when I was a childâ
 Your pleading and desperate gaze fell on Luke who categorically refused to let you take his guitar. He ends up grabbing his six acoustic strings, terminated. There was something about you that made him weak.
 âMaybe you can teach me but ... my guitar is my guitar, nobody touches it.â
 You nodded and the lead singer moved closer to you. You were stunned by its smell, like a distant memory. Luke had definitely been a part of your life before he died, you were sure of that. You leaned over her shoulder, humming the lullaby that was left in your head. It didn't take long for him to find the right chords. Luke continued several times before you stopped singing, looking at him intently.
 âthat's exactly it ... this lullabyâ
 You both looked at each other, an indecipherable expression in your eyes. You both jumped at the sound of the garage door. Reggie appeared with Alex.
 "Ready to compose hellish songs! oh did I interrupt something?â
 "No, no I was there to see you. I guess you have a lot of questions."
 "hell yeah, can we start from the beginning?"
 You smiled to approve his request. The boys settled down on the sofa, while you sat down on one of the single armchairs. And the flow of questions began
  âWhen are you born?â
 â(your birthday date) 1992â you simply answered.
 âWhatâs your name?â
 (y/n) (y/m/n) Peters
 Itâs seemed to convinced a little Reggie but doubt was all over his face.  It was information you could easily get on the internet nowadays.
 âWhatâs my favorite food?â
 âPizza, mom said your favorite was the extra cheese with pepperoniâ
 âAnd what was my favorite toy?â
 âI freaking donât know, how can I suppose to known that?â
 âah ah!â he pointed the finger at you, as if that answer was proof that you were lying. It broke your heart but you didn't show it.
Instead, you rolled your eyes and Reggie kept going to ask you some question. Of course, you would have liked to have answered his questions correctly. Your mother told you some anecdotes about him but not to the point of knowing all the details.
 âWhatâs the most terrible thing I said to my mom?â
 âOmg I donât fucking know! I was 3 when youâre died, asshole!â
 Luke smiled when you exploded. Reggie was Reggie, as weird as possible. Now you were angry and desperate. Your brother didnât believe you and he kept dragging you into this miserable feeling that you were never going to get your brother back. You had spent your short life living with a faint memory of him. Your blankie was one of his t-shirts, his voice reasoned in your head when you couldnât sleep.
But then, in front of him, you were a stranger to him. Your heart was bruised from not being able to hug him and to finally meet this brother who had left far too soon.
 âOkay, okay⊠So, how can you proof me youâre really my sister?! â
 In the roomâs corner, Luke looked at you, you looked desperate, about to cry again. He grabbed his guitar and cleared his throat. Reggie turned to him as the guitarist still had his eyes on you, a heartwarming smile hanging across his face. You had managed to convince him in a few minutes. He felt connected to you and the things you told him were disturbing. You could only be Reggie's sister; it was impossible otherwise.
 "HeyâŠWhat about the song you told me earlier." he said with a soft and comfort voice
 Your eyes caught his gaze, grateful for the initiative. You nodded and Luke started playing the few notes you had taught him a few minutes earlier. It was so different from all the songs the brunette could play before. It was a lullaby, such easy children's music with just a few notes.  Of course, the band wasnât supposed to play when Julie wasnât in the room but, Luke had thought it was the best thing to do to encourage you to keep going. He didnât know why, but he wanted Reggie to believe you. Luke believed you, hard as nails. There only had to look at your eyes to understand this reality, and Luke had noticed that. You had the same blue eyes as your brother. How could Reggie still doubt that? You started to sing
 You're so sleepy
Very much sleepy
You want to go to the fairyland
You close your eyes
And jump into your dream.
When you'll wake up
Iâll still be on your team.
 The instant Reggie heard the first notes, he knew. But hearing you sing the lullaby he had invented for you when you didn't want to sleep as a child, was a magical moment. You were his baby sister. He gave you that sad little puppy face, so overwhelmed. Reggie opened his arms and you jumped into a hug, so glad he finally accepted the fact that you were his sister.
You felt oddly safe again, like taking a nap in Reggie's pile of old t-shirts. You were so happy to find your brother and to be able to live your non-life by his side. Nothing would be as boring as it used to be. Reggie pushed you away with a concerned look
 "but wait ... how did you die?"
 "Yeah ... I don't really know ... I was at a really, really good rock concert and I bought this drink ... and I think I got drugged up there and ... I guess I'm dead? tadaa " you tried to tell him in a light tone.
He had just learned that he had a little sister. He didn't have to know that she was sneaking out at rock concerts and drinking alcohol before she was old enough. Right? Alex looked at Luke and Reggie with his half amused half confused smile. As for Luke, he fidgeted from foot to foot at the discovery. Y / N was as much rock and roll as they all were. Rebellion had to be his middle name
You loosened Reggie's embrace and lowered your head, pursing your lips so as not to show your embarrassment. He asked if you wanted snacks and you nodded. There was a slight silence. You didn't notice the urgent look Luke gave Alex but the next moment the blond jumped up to accompany the bassist, leaving you alone in the garage with the lead singer.
 The silences were a little longer until Luke cautiously approached you. You could feel the awkwardness from miles away.
 â Sooo, you made this.â
 â yeah ...â you answered in a shy voice
 It was the moment you had to thank him but your words seemed frozen. You mustered all the courage to plant your gaze in Luke's eyes.
 âThank you ... for helping me earlier.â
 âoh it was nothingâ.
 âI ... yes, yes it was. You can't imagine how important seeing Reggie again is to me. Thanks for ... for helping me open his eyes.â
 A slight smile caught his lips and he reached for your cheek before stopping his gesture. Instead of stroking your skin, he simply put a section of your hair back behind your ear.
 âI would do anything for my best friends.â
 And Reggie was definitely one of Lukeâs best friend. You hardly swallowed, your stomach contorting under the effect that the guitarist made you. Time had seemed to fly at an incredible speed as the moment was interrupted by Reggie and Alex coming back to you.
 âOMG LUKE DONâT FLIRT WITH MY SISTER, SHEâS 3!â
 You cleared your throat and stepped aside to pull yourself away from Luke as far as possible. Your gaze fell on your brother and you raised an eyebrow at the last remark. 3 years old, really? You were 3 years old twenty-five years ago ... now you were eternally a teenager
 âIâm seventeen.â
 âListen, i'm your big brother, youâre three, end of discussion.â
 Your face wanted to laugh and you pursed your lips to keep from succumbing. But your eyes⊠Your eyes met Luke's in a complicity that slowly settled. Could you fall in love with your big brother's best friend? Definitely yes...
#jatp#jatp cast#jatp cast x reader#jatp imagines#jatp fic#julie molina#luke patterson#alex mercer#reggie peters#reggie x reader#reggie peters x reader#luke patterson x reader#charlie gillespie#jeremy shada#writing#owen patrick joyner#madison reyes
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this fill is for @jhscdood, @windcalling, and the anon who asked for jason todd and clint barton to #69 on my wrapped 2020 spotify playlist, which is âthe rushâ by jj wilde.
so hereâs a fic about clint barton, shield agent, accidentally hooking up with red hood the night before the big shield & bats meeting in gotham.
                            ---
Clintâs right in the middle of advanced negotiations with his hookupâs coffeemaker when a very aggressive Mr. Universe contestant crashes through the door, smashing it to kindling with one improbably muscled shoulder.
âAw, shit,â Clint says, and throws the coffeepot.
It shatters apart against the manâs mask, and the man swivels slowly to stare at Clint.
Heâs huge, and heâs angry, and he looks like heâs here to settle business.
âOh, câmon,â Clint says, half-begging, half-protesting. âI donât even have pants on. Itâs six in the morning. Raincheck this, for the love of God.â
The man straightens to his full height, and Clint sighs. Heâs a menace, is what he is. Some actual, no-shit, Gotham-level nonsense. Heâs a monster. 6â8â at least. He probably has a minimum of a hundred pounds on Clint.
Heâs fully dressed.
Itâs six in the morning.
âUgh, fine,â Clint says. âJust be quiet about it, okay? Heâs still asleep.â
Still asleep, still unbelievably good looking. Clint had been hoping for another round before he left to meet up with Coulson and Nat for their meeting with the various Bats, and now heâs going to ruin the poor bastardâs whole apartment, instead.
âI am not,â the belligerent bodybuilder says, âhere for you.â
Clint blinks. âYouâwhat?â
âYou owe me for that door,â Jason says. Heâs standing in his bedroom doorway, with a SIG in either hand and a very aggrieved slant to his eyebrows. âAnd for fucking up my morning.â
The human wall of muscle shifts to face Jason, leaving him open, but Clint is honestly too flabbergasted by this turn of events to take advantage of that. âTalia is looking for you,â the man says. âShe wants you to come back.â
âAnd who can blame her?â Clint asks.
âThatâs sweet,â Jason says. He grins at Clint, a flash of white teeth that reminds Clint of the line of bruises he can still feel along his collarbone. âYou always this sweet in the morning?â
âOh, feel free to find out,â Clint says.
âIâm here to return you to her,â the man announces. Heâs beginning to sound genuinely irritated by all the interruptions. Clint can empathize.
Jason sighs. âYou ever get tired of being her errand boy?â
âNo,â the man says. âI consider it an honor.â
âI am just, wow.â Clint shakes his head, looks back and forth between them. âReally confused by the dynamics of this situation.â
âWelcome to Gotham,â Jason says.
âYou said that last night,â Clint reminds him. âYou said you were the welcome party.â
âYeah,â Jason says and then he points one of those SIGs right at the breaking and entering suspect, âand heâs the welcome hangover.â
âI like you better,â Clint says.
Jason smirks over at him. âWell, I earned it.â
âSure as hell did,â Clint says.
The massive menace takes this as his opportunity to charge Jason. Clint grabs the skillet off the stovetop and hurls it, sending it whirling end-over-end and slamming directly into the back of the manâs head. Thereâs a sick, meaty thunk and then a roar, and Clint loses sight of Jason and the behemoth as they go crashing back into Jasonâs bedroom.
Clint grabs a couple of knives from the block and goes after them.
Hell, he doesnât have to meet up with Coulson and Nat for another two hours. How else is he going to fill his morning?
 ---
 They wreck Jasonâs entire apartment, the fire escape, a Wells Fargo, and two bodegas, and they steal an ice cream truck, but they make it back to Clintâs hotel room in time to fool around a bit in the still-made bed and then shower together after.
âIâve gotta,â Clint says, gesturing over his shoulder. He is clean and dressed and running impossibly, hilariously late.
âOh, me too,â Jason says. He has stubble burn on his chin and throat. Clint never did find the time to shave. Whatever. It pairs nicely with the hickey Clint left on the side of his neck.
Usually, he tries to be polite about leaving marks on hookups, but the noises Jason made set Clintâs good intentions on fire and threw the ashes out the window.
Clint hesitates, his hand on the door. When he looks back, Jasonâs hovering close to the window, catching a quick glance down toward the street. âNot that I wantâlook, this has the best morning after of my life.â
Jasonâs mouth quirks up at one corner. âI bet you say that to all the guys who drag you into a street brawl with Bane.â
Clintâs mouth falls open. âThat was Bane?â
âWho the hell did you think it was?â Jason shakes his head, looks mystified and a little charmed.
âI dunno, just.â Clint waves his hands. âYour ex-girlfriendâs new boyfriend, maybe? Who had a weird thing for-- look, I never got any coffee.â
Jason grins, still shaking his head, and crosses the hotel room to grab Clintâs shirt one-handed, dead over his heart. âNext time youâre in town,â he says, âIâll make you coffee.â
Clint thinks about coffee and looks at Jasonâs mouth, and he groans, a little helpless, downright disoriented trying to decide which he wants more right now. âJesus,â he says. âYou promise?â
âYeah,â he says. And then he tugs Clint in, kisses him quick and intent and showy, like he thinks he still needs to work to be memorable. âCall me,â he says, and he disappears out the door before Clintâs caught his breath.
 --
 Clint sprints out the rooftop access door and skids to a stop beside Nat exactly thirty seconds before the designated meeting time. The look Phil Coulson sends his way is long-suffering and remarkably unsurprised.
âBarton,â he says. âNext time we come to Gotham, Iâm going to handcuff you to me for safekeeping.â
âThatâs, uh.â Clint clears his throat, blushes an incendiary shade of red. âThatâs gonna get real awkward for you, sir.â
Coulson stares at him for one heavy, terrible moment and then he sighs with worn-in exasperation and directs his eyes skyward.
âWow, Clint,â Nat says, squinting at him. âWhat happened to your neck?â
âNo, shut up,â Clint says. âShush. I was in Madrid, remember? Iâm not taking any shit from you about this. You showed up in lingerie. Lingerie that wasnât even yours.â
âWell, itâs mine now,â Natasha says, looking far too smug to be even a touch repentant. âDid you have a good time?â
âJesus, did I ever,â Clint says, with maybe a bit too much honest appreciation in his voice.
âCould we,â Coulson says, âplease just attempt a modicum of professionalism?â
âSure,â Clint says. âYeah. Super professional, Coulson. As soon as they get here, I promise.â
âWeâre here,â Batman announces, manifesting out of the shadows, taking about five years off Clintâs life.
âFuckâs sake,â Clint says.
âVery professional,â Red Hood says. He moves up next to Batman, and he looks steady, broad-shouldered. Serious. But thereâs something weird about his tone. Something amused, a little strangled.
Clint stares at him.
âWe appreciate this meeting,â Coulson says, voice level and controlled.
âYou said SHIELD had business in Gotham,â Batman says. Beside him, Red Robin is silent and focused. Red Hood crosses his arms over his chest, seems almost bored. âWe need to set the parameters of that business.â
Red Hood, Clint notices, has two SIGs in holsters at his sides.
âOf course,â Coulson says. âThereâs no reason for us to have any problems.â
âItâs Gotham,â Red Hood says. âThere are always problems.â
Thereâs a hickey, Clint notices. A bruise, maybe. Thereâs something on Red Hoodâs neck, barely visible in the gap between the collar of his jacket and the metal of his helmet.
âAre you the Gotham welcoming party?â Clint asks. He hears it come out of his own mouth, and he has nobody to blame other than himself and his critical caffeine deficiency.
Red Hood turns to stare at him. They all turn to stare at him, but Red Hoodâs the only one heâs looking at.
He didnât. He didnât. He didnât come to Gotham the night before a meeting with the Bats and pick up Red Hood in a dive bar.
He didnât spend the morning after fighting Bane with Red Hood and then sneaking him into his SHIELD-approved hotel room. He did not.
âOh, I donât know,â Red Hood says, head tipped. âIâve been told Iâm more of Gothamâs hangover.â
Clint nods slowly.
He has no idea â no idea â how the hell heâs going to make any of this seem reasonable in the post-mission report. He has no idea how much of this will even make it in the report.
But he has Red Hoodâs phone number scrawled on a bar napkin in his pocket, and he knows, whatever else happens in this ludicrous, lunatic town, heâs sure as hell not losing that.
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