#This getting one thing done per week thing is not working out I'm already super slow posting as it is this isn't helping

[bumblequinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Ep3 - "Bliss" Breakdown

oh

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

So that's what Victor's image in the credits was meant to represent the whole time. A still of him inside the last memory he has of his home, his perspective on the window before it all went to shit.

I get that it might have been obvious the opening was a flashback given the election was still ongoing and given we get to see Vic's friend, the one who was shot by Sofia, still alive, but they also peppered enough bits that hade me fully convinced we were just watching Victor's present life when he was out of earshot from Oz. The bombs were a genuine shocker.

Credit to @davidmann95 for pointing out that the rooftop pebbles are Victor's equivalent of the Crime Alley pearls, an extremely important detail to add to the other Batman parallels Victor's gonna be shown having in this episode.

I'm loving a lot of the choices that go into Oz's outfits and specifically what kind of outfits he wears around specific characters, the whole chameleon thing he's got going personality-wise reflective in his choice of wear, and I like how this extends to the people around him and his choice of vehicle and base and everything. He may not wear fine suits everywhere and for all occasions, but this is very much a Penguin concerned about fashion particularities and branding and ways to dress up himself and the people acting in his behalf.

This scene where Oz pays Victor is funny, but it importantly sets up an element that's gonna come into play regarding their relationship by the end of the episode, that is how hard Oz projects on Victor and how much of his insecurity and need for affection comes through in his attempts to deal with the kid. Two episodes in after all the shit Victor's done for Oz and it's the first time we're seeing Oz talk about giving him a salary. It's not an unusual comedy beat, sadly not a real life one either, but the thing is, Oz is not a cheapskate, far from it. Across the last two episodes, he's been very quick to fork over cash to smooth over negotiations, and he's more than happy to pay the kid and praise him for demanding double (even if he shuts down the idea), it just genuinely never occurred to him until the moment that, right, the kid whose job is driving me around and burying bodies and putting his neck on the line for me needs a paycheck, of course, he's gonna get a nice thousand per week because I'm a good boss who does that kind of thing.

Nice little reminder of the class disparity element of the show, in how Sofia looks at Oz's set-up and dismisses as tacky garbage, while Graciela calls it bougie and thinks Victor's basically set if his boss is letting him crash in a place like that. Also illustrated in the money scene earlier, because from what I've researched, a thousand per week is an average salary for a driver in New Jersey (which is where this Gotham is located), and despite Oz calling it a start, Victor's already shocked at how much money Oz is paying per week. Just these totally different conceptions of what money and good living entail across the board for our characters. SPEAKING OF totally different standards,

So it turns out that Sofia has been planning her own meteoric ascension into ruler of Gotham for about as long as Oz, and more effectively at that, and if there's anything this episode will establish for sure about her, it's that Sofia Falcone is an actual supervillain the way Oz is still some ways from being. Alberto's shipment wasn't the ticket for the two of them, just for Oz, and Sofia just needed him to drive her around and open the door once more.

Oz the whole time basically happy with running a club and pushing dope out of a warehouse to the point of crying to her in the end that it was the best thing that ever happened to him, while Sofia here casually unveils a Gus Fring hidden meth lab with a mushroom forest full of Arkham Super Drugs and another Batman Villain working out in the backroom to produce them. Oz spent the last years ass kissing and spinning plates and seizing his own little levers of power all over Gotham, while Sofia was enduring soul-redefining torment entrenched inside the Supervillain Factory of the world where she would discover and pillage the tool that would let her conquer the city in one swoop.

A tool that she debuts before the underworld with an intimidating yet casual speech, above the city writhing before her and falling by the minute into her grasp, before casually leaving and telling her grunt to wrap up negotiations for her. The Riddler showed Gotham what a supervillain is and can do, a call to the maladjusted victims and freaks everywhere to grab their masks and bombs and get in the action because this is how the world works now that Batman exists, but Sofia here shows us not just a different way the rot spreads across the city, not just a way in which Arkham can become the other force filling in the power vacuum, but that being a supervillain is also a business model every respectable criminal in the city is gonna have to get on board with real fucking quick.

I love/hate that we get to have a few scenes of Sofia and Oz working together and how good they are, glad they could at least give us those before everything gets turbofucked forever further.

I definitely encourage you to keep up with the Penguin podcast, and particularly the latest episode where they talk with Rhenzy Feliz and fluency consultant Marc Winski, where they go over the thought and care that went into depicting Victor's stutter and incorporating it into the character and show, it's a very insightful conversation.

Oz's empathy for people with disabilities shows up in him complaining at the waiter for speaking over Victor, and later in their scene with Johnny Viti when he berates him for calling her a psycho, and is consistent with lots of other little moments where it's come up. I like that this is a consistent thing with Oz, and not just one of the things he does for show - even when he's complaining about Sofia to Victor, he never disparages her based on mental illness, he calls her uptight and elusive and a problem he wants off his back, but he never insults her the way all the other mobsters do.

Even in the bathroom scene by the end of the episode, where he does lose his patience and rushes Victor to explain himself, only happens after they've reached a boiling point. I do think it's important, for his character and role, that Oz maintains some important principles, even if they are still self-serving.

Again, love how the show knows just when to drop the Penguin name to maximize hurt on Oz.

What a fucking show Farrell and Miloti and Feliz give us in this episode.

I said back when the trailers dropped that Sofia Falcone looked like she was going to be the prestige crime drama protagonist that this show would have if it wasn't about The Penguin, and that's the vibe you get out of these two together. She is the tormented HBO leading lady and he is the charismatic side character, he is her driver with a wacky voice and face that bites it tragically to motivate her revenge / bites it after the reveal of how he backstabbed her. Which is exactly where the Falcones liked him, that funny guy in a supporting role who drives them around and runs their club and digs up their graves, and it's partially how their last scene in the episode plays out.

"Yeah I know I ruined your entire life and led to irreparable damage to your mind and sanity and reputation and all that, but I really wanted a little piece of the action as a nightclub owner, is that so bad?" is a confession that Oz only survives because he's the main character. In any other show, him bearing the depths of his embarassing pathetic soul to Sofia like that would be the last thing he does before dying, tragically or cathartically.

But to his credit, it worked. Sofia actually sheds a tear for him. It's the first time Oz has seemed genuinely honest with her, and more importantly, it's the first time anyone has been honest with Sofia ever since she got back from Arkham. She really has no one else she can possibly trust but the least trustworthy person on the planet. Who on Earth could possibly be willing to make an ass of themselves before her like that if they weren't being truthful?

Lauren LeFranc: You know, I think Oz is a bit of a walking contradiction and I think he deeply believes what he believes in that moment. I think he genuinely feels that way. Also understands the benefit of her being on his side at the same time. Right? Like, if she doesn't believe in him, their operation currently goes to hell. Not to say that he's playing that up, I think that is a moment of genuine emotion from him. But I also think for a man like him, he's not quite sure where it begins and ends. He doesn't believe that it's bullshit. That doesn't mean that it's not. Like, I don't know if he can even identify it or if, honestly, if Oz takes the time to unpack that. He's not a guy who's like, "Hmm, let me think about my actions today.", you know? - The Penguin Podcast: Episode 3

I'm extremely curious as to what the Sofia-Oz dynamic is gonna look like in the rearview. Does he have enough of a lid on his temper to fake that masterfully being offended on Sofia's behalf while playing her attack dog? Does he genuinely regret that she got sent to Arkham over whatever he did? I think this and the ending scene go a long way in pending towards either way and that's interesting to me. Even if 90% of what he says is bullshit there's some of that regret / kinship that feels genuine

I am very curious to see what becomes of Eve and what more will we learn about her. She seems to be Oz's second-in-command when it comes to businesses he does with her and the girls, and I like that the girls and Victor form a personal squad for Oz (and crucially, he's promising all of them a bigger slice of the pie when he becomes a big shot, and just as crucially, all of them have massive targets on their back right now).

It is genuinely funny how appalled and offended Oz is, at the idea that maybe the kid he roped into this with a gun to the head only stuck around out of fear, not because the kid thinks he's a great guy giving him a chance. I call him the Michael Scott of crime and I mean it. But like most funny things about the Penguin it also has something sad and lonely and pathetic and human about it, the ever present disconnect between the gentleman he wants to be and the thug he acts like.

Like with the salary thing, it just did not cross his head at any moment prior to this, not when he threatened to kill the people he cared about or openly argued with Vic whether to shoot him and stuff him in a trunk, not when threatening to gut him like a fish for messing up or spilling his secrets or telling him to lie with corpses, that Vic was sincerely scared of him and his power and did not leave because he feared this known gangster would do exactly what he said he was going to do. To Oz, doing those things to "his guy" now would be unthinkable, but the question that Vic wanted to leave never even popped in his mind.

And it makes him genuinely upset. That scene at the bar, where he is fully alone, sad and tired with his drink, tired from all the plates he's had to spin and all the indignities he's endured and still endures, tired from all the hats he's had to wear, and sad because the only person so far he's been able to let down his guard around, the one person with whom he could at least wear a hat he liked just bailed on him.

Of course he'd never kill Vic for just wanting to leave, once he realizes that this is actually a factor in how Victor views him and obviously he'd be a bad boss if he did that. Of course he gets angry at Victor for wanting to throw away an opportunity given to him that Oz would have (and probably has) killed for, he's giving Victor the kind of help he desperately wishes he got and he's gonna throw it away? Of course he gets shocked at being reminded Victor is a guy with needs, a guy that Oz holds lethal power over, and not just a kid version of Oz that he can live out his Rex Calabrese fantasy by helping out and mentoring. And of course, none of the cruel and hurtful things he says to Victor before he leaves would sting if there wasn't just enough of a bitter truth to them, or at least, enough of it to stick with Victor.

What an excellent scene Victor's panic attack was, totally get why it was the editor's favorite

I was waiting for a Victor-centric episode and was not dissappointed, this is the episode where he first comes on his own as a character and we see how crucially important he is to the show, the from-the-bottom ground floor perspective on everything that Reeves and LeFranc have repeteadly defined the project around. I love getting to see such an on-the-ground perspective of how fucking monstrous Riddler's plan was, and the kind of lives it ruined. This poor kid thrust headfirst into a Batman/Robin origin story and situation.

It's like Feliz said in the podcast, the end of the episode is the first time we've ever seen Victor, and maybe the first time Victor's ever seen himself, outside of survival mode, outside of simply living to try and get to next hour and do what his parents/Oz tell him to, which is a painfully real state to be in for anyone who's dealt with poverty growing up or is dealing with poverty right now. It's the first time he really has an opportunity to decide on his own what he's going to do on his own. As much as we may know he's making a doomed choice, that he really should just hop on the first bus out of Gotham and join his girlfriend in the sun, well, he's a Batman character, he doesn't get to do that.

Victor wants to live his life and protect himself and the people he loves and make good choices and be a good person, but on a deep fundamental level, he just wants his family back, he wants his dad back, he wants to do right by them more so than by himself, even if that means doing things they would find detestable. Like the son of a doctor, a son who now chooses to inflict violence every night if it means he can avenge their memory, here we have the son of a nurse presented with a choice: He gets to honor the intentions of his parents by dying as a well-meaning decent nobody like they did, or he gets to make up for the shame of how they died by living a good life, one which was denied to them, by surviving and thriving as a criminal. He gets to honor their ideals, or get back at the shameful cruel reality of how they died, but he cannot do both. So he makes his choice.

Oz, in this episode, burns nearly every single bridge he has: with the Falcone family, with the Maronis, and with Sofia, and he even does it with Victor. If Victor hadn't come back, Oz would have died on that parking lot, and still Oz is ecstatic that his guy's come back, because all he wants is for someone to like him enough to stick around with him. Victor is not so sure he's not in for a horrible time now, but in his own way, he also burned his bridges, and he also got what he wanted.

Okay Vic, you wanted dad to not take shit from others and shoot for a better life, you got a dad who will teach you to do just that. You wanted to pal around with small-time criminals you were friends with even if your parents insisted otherwise, well, the king of hoodlums is the only guy you have left in your life now.

You have committed yourself body and soul to a dangerous life within the city you love, spurred on by the tragic injustice that took your parents in an event that destroyed your entire world? Great, welcome to Gotham, here's even a new name you get out of it.

[amoebagrl]

catch me if you can, working on my tan (PREVIEW)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ neighbor!ellie williams x fem reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ summary: ellie spends her first summer at her and her fathers new vacation house, and her first summer with a summer fling.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ a/n: hi! i hope u guys enjoy this lil preview of a fic im working on, so sorry it’s taking so long to write, i’m super busy. it should be done in a week or two :) per usual, join my taglist to be notified when i post the full thing & song used in title is slavatore by lana del rey! ♡

Ellie didn't know why Joel decided to purchase a beach home, but she was greatful for it.

Summers in Jackson were grueling. The hot, and sticky air definitely wasn't her favorite.

So when her adoptive father, Joel, had let her know that his offer the house had been accepted, Ellie was overjoyed.

In the weeks before summer break, she became more anxious and excited to spend her summer on the beach.

She wondered how different the beach town would be from her home, and what kind of kids her age would be there.

When the day finally came, Ellie was packed and ready, sitting at the table with her bags in hand, and suitcase by her feet.

"Woah there kiddo" Joel laughed as he entered the dining room. "What? I'm ready" *You sure are" he chuckled "Can we go yet?" the auburn-haired girl whined.

"Well if I knew you were fixin' to get going this early, would have finished packing" "Seriously?!" Ellie called out to the man as he walked away.

He entered the room with his luggage after, what Ellie claimed to be, hours.

They piled up into the beat up truck and began their twelve hour drive to Florida.

Joel insisted they only stopped for absolute necessities, but found himself stopping for snacks one too many times.

When they arrived, it was dark, around 10:00 at night. Ellie had fell asleep in the passenger seat around halfway in the trip, after claiming she ‘wasn't tired’ and it reminded Joel of when she was a kid.

"Ellie. Ellie. Cmon get up" Joel whispered, nudging the girl.

"Huh?" She asked, stirring "We're here. Come on, get inside" "What about all the bags?" "Well get it all in the morning" "Mhm" she groaned.

Unbuckling her seatbelt and walking inside, she barely took the time to look around, just heading straight for her bed, which was already made. She took a mental note to thank Joel in the morning before falling asleep.

Ellie woke up to the bright sunshine creeping in through the window. She slowly sat up and creeped out of her bedroom, looking for her father.

"Morning Ellie" Joel croaked out from the kitchen, turning around with a mug full of coffee.

"Goodmorning" Ellie yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Ya sleep well?" The older man asks, sipping on the steaming cup. "Mhm. Thanks for making my bed and stuff." She smiled, truly greatful.

"No problem." He replied, grinning in return.

"Hey, why don't you go down the street and get us some of those...uh... 'a-kai' bowls?" He asked, reaching for his wallet. "I think it's açaí, but sure.

Let me get dressed" She nods, turning to go back upstairs to get dressed.

The auburn-haired girl emerges 20 minutes later in jeans and a t-shirt, tugging on her beat up converse.

"This good?" She looks up, unsure if the outfit is suitable for the hot weather.

"Jesus, Ellie. I said clothes for hot weather, it's

'bout ninety degrees!" "I'll be fine" She rolls her eyes, grabbing the $20 bill from Joels hands, before stepping outside.

"Shit." She gasps, fanning herself for a moment before grabbing her skateboard off the porch and stepping onto the sidewalk, heading off down the block for the small shop.

The bells over the front door chimed as Ellie stepped in the small, but nice, café.

"Welcome! What can I get started for 'ya?" You asked, looking up from the cash register to meet the customers gaze.

"Oh, um... Can I look over the menu and stuff?" Ellie asked, bringing her hand up to rub the back of her neck, a nervous tic she had.

"Of course" You smiled sweetly.

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taglist: @5prettygirl5 @cowgirlcherrie @553ellie @certifedcrybunny @hi2647 @romioneslut

[holycorrupt]

if you have the time/energy to elaborate, what's your process like for coloring stuff you ink traditionally? i've figured out a few different methods over the years, but i generally stick to fully digital or traditional for a piece, so i'm curious to see how you do it! :0

This is such a fun question for me because I get to both ramble about my art process and have an excuse to throw some colors on this Breloom I drew ages ago.

I use Clip Studio Paint and an Ipad for my digital stuff so I'll be referring to the processes on that but I'm sure there is a work around for other programs as well :^)

I scan my traditional art at 400dpi because it's always easier to work bigger with digital stuff and resize it smaller then the other way around :^)

So here's our raw scan, which already looks very decent but when I want to color something I like for everything to be much cleaner/sharper/more contrast-y and to get rid of the noise from the paper texture lmao. A well lit photo will also do the job because that's what I did for many years before getting my scanner but tbh if you're a traditional -> digital artist like myself a scanner is like a best friend you can buy HAHA

First things first, I apply a Gradient Map Layer > New Correction Layer > Gradient Map

Clip has a really nice black and white map preinstalled but I made myself a custom map just by pushing the black and white a little closer, it completely clears up all the noise and makes everything really crisp! Make sure you check on your lines when adjusting things because super fine feather lines can sometimes be lost if you make the contrast too high. Extra tip! If you want to make Graphite Pencil or Ball Point Pen really nice looking as well, just add a dark grey point in the gradient map closer to the black then middle...works perfectly :^)!!

This is the point I look for stray pixels, cat hairs, ect and make sure to erase any surrounding doodles or sketches I don't want included.

GOD DAMN Those lines are CRISP-Y!!!

Next up we're going to want to go Edit > Convert brightness to opacity

Tbh If I didn't have this method idk what I would do with myself.... I've tried the whole "Lineart on top layer set to multiply" Method and ...ehh....

Now that I have a nice transparent line art I'll stick a new white layer down below it because the checker pattern hurts my eyes LOL

I'm going to add a read more here since this post is getting lengthy haha

I'm going to quickly go over the style I use for MTE! It has been refined to be quicker and easier to do since you know...I have a week time limit per page ... 😭 I have a completely different way I do colors for other things I want to spend more time on but I might explain that one in the future...I'm running out of steam tonight LOL

I use this really awesome brush pack that has a pencil like texture and I love it to bits...here's a link to it if your interested!

At this point I might add some overlay layers or play around with an airbrush but I think this guys done for now :^) I tend to stay away from highlights with my shading for MTE..My biggest goal is to make sure everything is clear and readable! That being said I break my own rules all the time for special panels that need the extra 'oomf!'

Slap a lazy square background and yay!! He's done!

Hope this was interesting aaaa Thank you again for the ask!!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. DAMN. speaking of worm being a fucked up story and knowing not everybody's gonna make it. i'm curious. do u have like... undersiders survival tier list? i wanna know who u think's gonna make it or who u think might not. when ur done having shrimp emotions over brian fridge etc of course :]]]

MAN. WELL. I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT HAVE HAD BRIAN DYING FIRST. GOD. hes not even dead yet (which is worse btw) but with the state hes in i may as well count him as such. i cannot see a world in which they convince bonesaw to fix him here. ugahuhh.

ANYWAY. this is not gonna be in list order bc im just thinking out loud as i type so here does. if im so real. lisa has had not one but TWO death scares already *and* her power is the least offensive so i thought for sure it was gonna be her.

im tempted to say taylor has final girl energy because she does and she could have plot armor considering most of the story is from her pov but with all of the interludes showing the story could VERY EASILY be told from someone else... i would not be fully surprised if taylor dies eventually and we switch main characters entirely. i would not be HAPPY about this per se but i wouldnt be totally surprised. taylor is so fast and loose with her own safety in regards to everything i could see her throwing herself into some situation and not being able to get herself out of it (very funny considering rn she is paralyzed at the hands of bonesaw in view of the brian fridge. aha. taylor you are in danger) HOWEVER i think if this is going to happen it wont be until wayyyyy later in the story and also itll either be some dramatic blaze of glory or just like. inconsequential and to save someone else .

torn on alec and rachel. if you wouldve asked me this like a week ago i wouldve said id expect alec to die second but i dont know why exactly? just vibes i guess. rachel is so hit or miss bc i definitely think shes strong enough to survive but also. again shes got the whole putting herself in stupid situations because of her anger thing which would easily get her killed if she was up against the wrong person. and i think in a meta sense killing her specifically would be SUCH a major shock. especially if its like. sudden or short or offscreen or something. someone who gets built up as super tough and indestructable getting offed in a second. idk. i can see it. ALSO LITERALLY THE FACT THAT AS OF RN THEYRE BOTH TARGETS OF THE S9 and from the way their test is supposed to work, only one person can make it out of there. which means AT LEAST one of them will have to die if they dont disrupt the test enough. (<< if this happens im expecting rachel to be the one that makes it. i dont think she wants to join the nine but i think shes more likely to go through with it than alec)

aisha.. i do not know enough about to say whether or not i think she'll survive much longer. she has done some STUPID SHIT and seems rlly reckless and doesnt care a whole lot for her own safety but also. need more info on her!!!!!!!!!!!

[ladysomething]

I love everything that you’ve written for F1 so far (you are just the most incredible writer, I could read all of the fics you’ve written a million times and never get bored) but you’ve truly outdone yourself with Where You Go, I Go!!!! I literally read chapter 2 like 4 times last week and I’ve just been counting down the days until I could read chapter 3 (but I pinky promise I do not mean that in a “write faster” kind of way, I mean it in a “I was excited that I audibly squealed when I saw you posted today” kind of way). And ABO is something that I hardly ever read. But you just do it SO well. I LOVE the world you’ve built. And this fic is just SO incredible. I wasn’t sure how you could top the first two chapters, but eek CHAPTER THREE. The way that Charles going into pre-heat prevented any questions about Max and his intentions from getting answered (the tension is buildingggg) and Pierre showing up and Charles getting claimed, oh my god every scene was incredible and I am SO EXCITED to find out where this is going, because I genuinely don’t know what to expect!!! Thank you so, so much for sharing this fic with us!!!

I am a different anon than before, but I was very interested in reading your response about if you found writing long fic to be daunting. Like prev anon, I am a numbers girl, so learning a little about your writing process/philosophy was super interesting!! I have another question if you don’t mind me asking- how do you decide on your posting schedule?! Although I would literally read this whole fic in one sitting, I do love the 1+ weeks between updates because I love getting excited for a new chapter and looking forward to it, but you said in the ask that you were already writing ch6, so I’m curious what made you pick the schedule you did!!

thanks again for sharing this fic with us, we are truly all so lucky to read it!!

ahhh!!!

well firstly I can't take the entire credit for this fic. @saiyanwitcher reached out to me after I wrote Give Me That Fire and offered to beta for me. As we were getting to know each other, she asked if I'd ever consider writing an Omegaverse fic, and I said yes, and here we are. But if there is any reason why this fic is better than the others, it's all because of her! She has spent so many hours brainstorming with me, proofreading, and pulling me back from the edge when I said "I want to do THIS" and she said "girl what" (she didn't really, everything I propose she says "alright, lets figure out how we can make that work").

I'm so delighted to hear you loved chapter 3! this whole fic is sooo different to anything I've ever written, but I LOVE exploring new themes and topics and ideas in fic - you'll never really catch me doing the same thing twice. pushing boundaries is what I love about fic, but it doesn't always pay off, so I'm SO happy to hear that people are loving this fic as much as they are.

as for your question ... which, firstly, like most artists I am extremely self involved, so talking about myself is like my fave thing to do lmao. I will answer literally ANY question you could ask.

but, posting schedule. after many years of trial and error while posting long fics, the thing I've found that works for me is that I need to have a fairly sizeable amount of the story in the can before I start posting. I usually like 5-6 chapters, but, more importantly, I want to know that I have the feel of the story before I start to post, because once I post I can't go back and change things. at about that 5-6 chapter mark, I know that I'm deep enough into a story that the plot is right, the characters are right, and the tone I'm using is right, and then I feel comfortable starting to release it out into the world.

from there, I post a chapter only when I finish a chapter. so I finished chap 6 on Tuesday, and then I worked on chap 3 on Wednesday, gave it to @saiyanwitcher to beta on Wednesday evening, and then by this morning she'd done a final check and I was okay to post.

my own personal goal is to write one chapter a week, with Wednesday being the day I'm always aiming towards. so this week I was actually a little later than my "schedule" because ch 6 was giving me a headache and it took longer to write than I wanted.

at this point, I know roughly how long it takes me to write one chapter for this story (a week), but I also know some of these chapters are harder to write than others so I HAVE to give myself some extra leeway (hence the maximum of 2 weeks).

I hope that kind of explained my thought process and as I said, I'm so happy to answer any questions!

[fountainpenguin]

dangggggggg I see why this chapter of dogs life took you a bit to figure out!!! I loved every word, you keep outdoing yourself each time and the worldbuildingggggggggg!!!!! Absolutely insane what you do with these characters keep it up!

Thank you so much… 🥺 I actually had another 5k words for this chapter I've been working with for weeks, but this weekend I finally called it quits and threw them in the scrap doc and started those scenes over, like I knew I should :'D

I loved the explosive screaming Martyn scene I'd written, but in my heart, I knew the way I wanted to do it was out of character (Too much over-explaining his emotions at a time he isn't thinking straight, and I just couldn't see him figuring out how he feels and putting it into words so soon after he gets this tense).

I'd like to bring it back in pieces throughout the rest of the story, so we'll see how much of that stays and goes!

There's a whole scene I wrote with TwoMuchGrian and PiglinMyNose gifting Rhetoric a welcome basket, but I've put it off for later because it wasn't working with the pacing and where I wanted reader's focus to be this chapter. They are so silly... I think we'll see them next time.

I recently made my Skeleton Train series on AO3 as a place to post scenes I liked, but scrapped… My Dog’s Life scrap doc is over 70k words, so you’ll probably see scenes there someday if I don't find a place for them later in the story. Not all my scraps are worth sharing, but there are some neat gems. The Martyn scene will definitely go in there if I don't find a place for it.

I thought I could fit the entire patrol interaction in this one chapter and it was intimidating, but splitting it was the right choice and really got me to the end. This chapter was a ton of work, so thank you; that means a lot (especially since when I went to bed, I felt like this ended up a "filler chapter that won't live up to expectations" and I was starting to regret dedicating that much time to it).

After sleeping and looking at it with fresh eyes, I'm very pleased with it and I do think it's nice, so I'm glad that a chapter that was giving me so much trouble ended up so well! That took a lot of work. The switch from writing the talk between BigB and Mumbo to scrapping that, instead showing them explaining what they talked about to Etho (who's tense because he disagrees with them) was my savior...

And the best news is, I’m currently at 8.8k words on the next chapter, largely due to the scraps. Jimmy's scene in that one has been written since 2023, so I'm looking forward to sharing it! It was one of the first things I wrote for Dog's Life and in my mind, it's what a lot of the story has been leading to.

I actually have pencil art for Jimmy that I won't get to post for this chapter because I'm giving all the intermission ones pixel art sprites instead, wheeze... He's the only character who hasn't gotten pencil-drawn chapter art yet because this scene was originally planned to be in Chapter 10 before I changed direction. Both my Jimmy sprites are super cute though - I have one of him with canary wings and another where he's dressed in pillager clothes with his pillager captain flag - so I'm excited!

The chapter after that focuses on Grian. It's been (almost) fully drafted since April and is one of my favorites, so I'm in a good position to pick up from here! Almost done with the intermission and then we'll be back for Session 3 on-server, which I've already decided will be 1 chapter per team (No more, no less). We'll see...! Dog's Life is really flowing through its plot, though, and I'm happy.

Thanks again for the support after a very tough chapter! I'm glad to have it off my plate and I’m so glad you like it :) It was nice to have my "Chalaza" buffer this month while I finished this, that's for sure.

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is STILL NOT part one of chapter seven. For the foreseeable future, this is a teaser zone.

If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop now, and start by reading chapter one. 

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Ryan Wilder had just about everything taken from her when we met her, and she was doing her best to get it back. In this version of the story, that means taking some people down along the way. And, she's definitely no hero.

Okay, so, I was a no show (for the first time ever) last Friday. Please forgive me, but I had an absence letter from Queen Bey. That's right, instead of writing or talking about my beloved fic, I was dancing my ass off at the Renaissance concert. So, thank you in advance for your forgiveness.

I DO have a sneak peek for you this week (which is super duper draft 1, so words might shift here and there by the time it's posted on A03 - bear with me). And, if life allows, I'm working towards posting this chapter in full by September 1st (which would mean only one more week of teasers for "season one.") Per always, please send me all the writing vibes you've got. Words are coming, but not always quickly, so every bit of wishful thinking helps!

CHAPTER SEVEN SNEAK PEEK

TUESDAY, JULY 11TH, 9:00 PM, RUSSEL TAVAROFF’S CAR

Russel has been sitting in his car for two hours, paralyzed by his thoughts. A little more than twelve hours ago, he’d just finished his second cup of coffee when he was called into Jacob Kane’s office. He took his time explaining everything he’d come up with on Luke Fox, his concerns about Sophie Moore’s conflict of interest, and his speculation on why Luke could be after the Kane family, with evidence in hand. The Commander let him do most of the talking, never really looking at the printouts, but asking the occasional follow up question for clarification. When it seemed Tavaroff had covered everything, the Commander sat back in his seat, and then asked him what his career goals were. Of course, Tavaroff said he’d really appreciated the opportunity to learn from him, and that he hoped to continue doing so. He felt it was an honor to be trusted with the responsibility of interim Lieutenant Commander.

Jacob took the folder of files, and thanked Russel for bringing him up to speed. He said that if he was going to continue taking on new assignments, he’d need to make room on his desk, and asked him to start delegating the things he’d been working on to several people he was reassigning, especially with Tyler being out of commission, and them having trading cases before the accident. So, Tavaroff spent the day doing as he was asked. 

By 4PM, there was a 5PM meeting on his calendar, with Jacob Kane’s office as the location. The agenda stated they’d be discussing next steps. The only next step was for Tavaroff to sign an NDA in exchange for a package, which included his salary for the remainder of the year, his vacation payout, and the cash value of his stock in an exit bonus. Should he choose not to sign and leave quietly, an investigation would need to be initiated, and a psych evaluation completed, with potential disciplinary actions taken that could limit his ability to work in law enforcement again in the future.

The Commander did thank him for his commitment to the organization, and dedication to protecting his family. Unfortunately, his decision to pursue Luke Fox without approval, who was too visible as an executive at his daughter’s company, and as the son of the renowned Lucius Fox, did not demonstrate the kind of judgment that the Commander expected from someone at Tavaroff’s level. He felt a mutual separation was the fairest course of action. 

Upon signing, he was asked to hand over his firearm and badge. Then, he was escorted to his desk, where a box was awaiting him to collect any personal items he’d brought to the office, which needed to be approved to take with him. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone still in the building on his way out, let alone speak to them, because he could feel their eyes casting judgment against him. Embarrassed was simply an inept word for how he felt. 

They did take a look around his car, to make sure he didn’t have anything of theirs laying around that they’d need to confiscate, but they really relied on the NDA to protect them. The truth was, they weren’t above more permanent forms of termination if they felt like a prior employee posed a security threat. There were very few examples of anyone taking such a risk that required mitigation, but in the rare occasion, those people managed to have surprisingly coincidental incidents occur that made them a non-issue. 

When Tavaroff arrived home around 6PM, he’d changed out of his suit and tie, taken a shower, drank a beer, and then noticed a folder he’d left on his kitchen table. He walked over to it, and saw a few printed pictures that he’d been meaning to come back to and analyze with more intention, but he’d lost track of the idea. There were two high school yearbook photos: one for Sophie Moore, and one for the girl two grades younger, Angelique Martin. And then there was a third image of Angelique bartending at O’Mally’s during some sort of holiday party. 

He closed the folder, frustrated with himself. He didn’t work for them anymore, so these people's stories shouldn’t matter. He’d dedicated years of his life to a company that turned its back on him when he was trying to protect them. The compulsion to break away led him to put on his shoes, and head out the door, in his basketball shorts and tshirt. 

He’d gotten into his car, and didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know who to call. He didn’t know what he’d say to them if he did call. So he just sat, waiting for an idea to materialize. Instead, the only thoughts he was berated with were rehashings of how these people could ruin life as he knew it. Sure, this wasn’t the only thing he had going, but so much of who he was tied back to his role at The Crows. 

Now, two hours later, he’s tired of sitting. He needs to do something. He needs answers, and to take his control back. He decides to pick up where Tyler left off.

~~~~~

To be continued...

I really appreciate every comment, heart, and reblog. Kudos and comments on A03 too. These words don't always flow easily, and all of it pushes me to write on the hard days. It helps to know y'all are still with me. So THANK YOU, seriously! Follow #SaveBatwoman on all socials please! Support the Writer and Actor strikes. #wgastrike #sagaftrastrike #StopCancellingDiverseShows

[an-abyss-of-stars]

Something I haven't done in AGESS, is give y'all some fic updates!!

-

I'm going in order of what's being worked on the most at the moment!

✵It's Visceral And It's Cruel✵

So I've been working on chapter 5 for the past couple of weeks here and there, but I've really tried to buckle down this week and I'm actually about halfway through it! Since the next couple chapters are already pre-planned out, I've got my list of plot points/scenes that I know need to be included per chapter. This chapter has 6 plot points/scenes and I'm planning on finishing off the 2nd scene and moving on to the 3rd today! Fingers crossed honestly, but Y'ALL I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER!! A lot is going to happen, and while it won't all be particularly Rhaemond based, I think it'll be super interesting! A lot of things will be set into motion and there's going to be some super tense and interactions between our big name characters!

Release date: TBD (I would LOVEEE to work all through my weekend to get this out by then, but we'll see, I won't promise that now tho)

-

❤️‍🔥Burnt Over And Over Again❤️‍🔥

OOOOOooooo this fic has a chokehold over me right now!! Likeee, chapter 5 has ALOT planned for it. It's going to be a pretty long one in comparison to the other relatively short chapters! Last chapter had Aemond tracking Rhaena down in Venice and it was so tense and sexual, just imagine that energy multiplied for this next chapter!! The ✨DRAMAAAAA✨ I'd say I'm about a quarter of the way through, there's an argument/conversation they needed to have at the start of this chapter that was really giving me trouble, but once I worked through it, things were flowing a lot easier!

Release date: TBD (there's still a lot left to write, but who knows, maybe the inspiration will hit me this weekend)

-

💝Coffee, Tea, Muffins and Nibbles 💝

I.e. Early One Morning Part 2

So technically this is a pretty direct sequel to Early One Morning, and if you've read that, then this literally takes place that very same morning 😂😂 except it's ✨ Breakfast Time✨ now. I've actually got this entire thing written out, back when Early One Morning was going to be one big one-shot, I'd already written this scene as the next scene after the kids joined Rhaena and Aemond in bed. So technically, all I need to do is spruce it up a little and then edit it and it's done! Thinking about it now, I think I might try and finish this one up as soon as possible so maybe it can go up by Thursday or Friday...maybe even tonight, but we'll see.

Release date: (Hopefully) Thursday OR Friday!

-

☾ He Saw Her At Daybreak ☾

Oh fuck...here go 😭😭😭

Y'all... there's only so many times I can be sorry about the delay with this ONEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Remember the good ol' days when I used to just drop a chapter a week 🤣🤣🤣 like spontaneously it was all flowing! But not any more it seems. Again, honestly, I think you all know the issue by now. It's editing and reworking it 😂😂 which might have actually been done by now if I could find the will to return to that 30k doc 🤣😭 All things aside tho! Like don't worry, EVENTUALLY this will come out and hopefully my readers still care about it when I finally do😂😂 I'm not planning on discontinuing or abandoning it, I've got too much planned for this smutty fic to just let it go 😂 too much planned for the futures of all of their babies and the family at large 😂

Release date: TBD (Eventually 😂)

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 5.21.2024

Somehow, I feel like the Summer Slump has hit early this year. School isn't even out yet, but I'm already at this point where it's hard to ever get anything done because my attention is always getting pulled away and before I'm ever able to get really into a thing. Part of it is because I am a procrastinator, and it takes me forever to get started on something. If I were just better at Getting Down to It, I would accomplish more, but that's just...not the mode I am in. I am generally able to name one priority per day and actually get that done, but whether or not I get anything more than that done is kind of a crapshoot.

I did (finally) finish one of my requests this week! The first one was short and I was able to bang it out in 2 days, and that was great. The second one was harder because it was longer, which gave me so many more opportunities to get distracted. I did get it finished, though, although it meant ignoring my ao3 inbox for a few days and it is now Out of Control, although I'm now trying to get that whittled back down. (As long as I'm doing links, I also managed to fill a request with something I had in my WIPs folder, so I am up to 3 total). It would be super cool if I could just...write them all short and quick, but that is not a thing that is up to me. The fanfic comes out the way it does. I am just here.

I know which one I am going to do next, but I haven't started it yet, in part because of the inbox thing and also because there's part of the manga I want to re-read, but it's in the Soul Society Arc, so I keep getting distracted by things like "does the Kidou Corps have specialty eye makeup?" I'm also kind of hoping to finish an art I started a while ago. I got partway through the coloring and I'm not real happy with it, so I may have to roll it back a bit and try again a different way. It's just sort of in the same state of it's taking a long time because it's taking a long time.

Anyway, it's almost summer and I've got a lot going on. I have not, by any means, given up on my requests. I actually think it's good for me to have a list of small projects to work on, but I'm not going to try to impose a timeline or anything. I'll just work on them when I have the time and inclination, and hopefully, every so often, I'll manage to finish one. I do really appreciate everyone's patience. Believe me, this isn't my favorite way to be, either, but sometimes one-day-at-a-timing it is the best you can do.

[purplesurveys]

1861

What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? Not really bad per se, but getting a notice in the middle of filming something that I had no storage left. I'm a hoarder through and through, so even though I have files backed up and even have Google Drives to store my photos in, I like keeping most things on my phone and I'm very familiar with running out of space haha.

What are your plans for tomorrow? We have an all-day team building thing. The company even booked a hotel for us overnight, so I'm here in my room right now while taking this.

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? I honestly can't remember if that's happened. I'm usually the one they accompany lol...

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? Sweatshirt + sweatpants. I'm savoring this moment now because I'm in a hotel and the aircon is freezing and this will never ever happen anywhere else this time of the year lmao.

Would you go out in public right this moment? I am technically in public right now.

Who was the last person you talked to on instant messenger? My sister. I was asking for photos of the dogs earlier because I was missing them.

Have you ever done something illegal with a family member? What about with your best friend? Hmm. Probably.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? Drunk.

Would you rather get pregnant at too young an age or never be able to reproduce? I don't want kids, so.

What was the last thing you cooked? Can it be the last thing I reheated instead because I don't cook? Hahaha. Spaghetti from Jollibee.

What were you doing 45 min ago? Playing Rhythm Hive.

What will you be doing in 20 min? Changing into my sleeping clothes for tonight.

What did you do yesterday? Worked, played my game, and for like three straight hours I watched videos from this local vlogger that I really really like. I actually already started watching his stuff months ago, but then he disappeared from my algorithm never to come back. I suddenly remembered him yesterday so I looked him up and saw that he had been posting new videos the whole time, so last night was dedicated to catching up.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Nah. Never on weekdays as I do revenge bedtime procrastination.

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning? I would never drink that much in one go to be at risk of alcohol poisoning.

Are you in a good mood right now? I'm feeling pretty damn great lmao. I'm in a hotel, I'm taking surveys, I have a plate of macarons beside me, I don't need to worry about work tomorrow since we'll be team building-ing...it's all lovely.

What’s the hardest thing you have done all week? Get through a meeting with a difficult client. He's so negative, never once seemed grateful, gave very strong know-it-all vibes, even his own teammates were on edge around him...I never thought a meeting could be so soul-sucking until that happened, and I honestly wish the deal would fall through or that the event we are planning for them gets cancelled. Not worth it.

How did you feel when you woke up today? LOLfuckit's9:30andIoversleptwhydidIoversleep

Do you want to see someone at this very moment? No.

Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it? My mom.

Do you think two people can last forever? Sure.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive? No.

Last person you talked to on the phone for longer than 5 min? Idk, that doesn't really happen a lot. Maybe with my dad? it's always more a call between him and my mom, though. We kids just chime in from time to time to greet him and such.

Are you a morning person or night person? Night.

Did you go out or stay in last night? It was a Tuesday evening, you best believe I stayed in haha.

Who was the last person in your bedroom? My sister, if I remember right.

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings? Doesn't it always depend on the situation? I'd feel more hesitant if I'm not around people I'm super close with.

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Sure.

How has this past week been for you? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Do you currently have a hickey? No.

Did you ever lose a best friend? Yes, I have.

How many piercings do you have? Just two, but I never have anything on them anymore.

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand? No...

Are you listening to music, if so, what song? Continued from last night. Nope.

Favorite part of summer? My birthday.

Where was your default picture taken? A museum in Makati.

What is your middle name? Eh...

What color underwear are you wearing? Beige.

What color shirt are you wearing? Orange.

Ever had a near death experience? Not really.

Have you ever kissed in the rain? I don't know. Probably?

What is your natural hair color? Black.

Could you handle living with the last boy you texted? No, I barely know them.

What are you excited for? Seeing my dad again, traveling to Vietnam, and getting the notification for Jin's first live back.

Have you been to the beach this year? Yes, twice – both related to work but it's fine haha. The first time was at a TVC shoot that needed to be set at the beach; The second was our team bonding day where Leah invited us all to her beachside house.

What makes you happy? My dogs, day offs, and BTS.

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Sure. My birthday happened and my birthday is always one of my favorite days of the year; that's one.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? Yes.

Held hands with anyone in the past month? I don't think I have. I've linked arms with my grandma since she needs help walking now, but we haven't held hands.

Would you put your life on the line for anyone? Yes.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Three seconds ago, lol.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Doubt it.

Are there any bruises/cuts on your body? No but there is this very uncomfortable knot(?) on the right side of the back of my neck right now that is preventing me from bending my head to the right.

How late did you stay up last night? 2 AM, as usual.

Do you want someone to call you right now? Not really.

Are you a loud person? With the right people, I can be.

Are you a shy person? For the most part.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? No. I was crying uncontrollably the other night over BTS videos.

If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating, would you lose them? Depends on the person, I'm guessing. With my last ex, I imagine I would have fought for it. Hard to imagine with anyone else since I've never dated since then.

How’s your heart lately? Steadily working its way towards peace.

How was Saturday night? Pretty uneventful. I dyed my hair and stayed in.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? No.

Are you tan? Yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I did. Nearly 20 times that length.

Think a lot before you fall asleep? Sometimes.

[5-pp-man]

I've hit the 3rd ep for all of the things I'm watching (except for 1 but shhh). Crazy. As per the rule, I guess I'll write down my thoughts for them now.

Atarashii Joushi; Fun and heartwarming in a very tame sort of way. It reminded me of CDD a lot in the first episode, but I feel like it's really making itself stand out now. Also, the 3rd ep made me cry. wtf.

Bullbuster; Very interested to see where this goes with the island plot. I like the touch of realism for how the company operates. Kataoka is actually my fave character so far just because he has such a strong presence, lmao

Dekoboko Majo; It's your standard over the top gag anime (which I like! it's just stupid silly fun) I do like the allusion to a deeper plot though

Hypmic; I already loved Hypmic and I never even expected another season, so I already feel spoiled. I love how they're weaving all the divisions into the ongoing plot, it's actually done pretty well? Though the anime original group (TBH) feels a bit jammed into the story, but it's only natural when you've got something with a plot like hypmic (that's already jammed full with contrivances, lmao) Also, Dotsuitare Homos episode when? (probably next week. yippeee ^u^)

Kamierabi; It's starting to become apparent with the 3rd episode that the plot in this show. Might not be that great. But I love death / high stakes games, even if they're kinda shitty. The animation isn't nearly as bad as everyone wants you to believe though.

Kamonohashi Ron; Ron he is so sillay <3 I love detectives, I love buddy teamups, this is a winning combo in my book. Their banter is super manzai-like though, very dry / reaction based humour. Which I think is funny but not when overused (is this show overusing it? not rlly as of now thankfully). Also, very intrigued by what the hell happened to Ron

Kawagoe Boys Sing; Uhhhh this only has 2 eps rn but the 2nd one was already so much better than the first. I love IT kun and Otome kun, excited for the rest of the cast to be introduced Ok I've seen the 3rd one now and in the very first sentence from Adachi I heard it was Kimura Subaru. I'm so happy he's here!! It was a good call to get him for this show since he's a great singer (in English too so it was nice hearing him in the ed this time!) Just an aside I actually think it's really nice how cool everyone is with all the weird quirks the characters have. Like, they consistently see Otome's feminine traits as a genuinely cool thing, and it's such a breath of fresh air compared to other shows

Migi to Dali; This is def up there as my fave this season, I loved Sakamoto so I'm super happy that Sano san's other work got adapted as well. May she be freer where she is now. Her strange brand of humour will forever be one of my faves, and having it mixed with a mystery this time is like a dream come true

Undead Unluck; I'm watching this one w my brother and I'm glad, it's exactly the kind of stuff we tend to watch together. The animation for this one goes crazy hard btw.

Watashi no Oshi; I wasn't feeling the first 2 eps all that much (they were funny and had a few good moments, but they weren't fantastic or anything), but goddd the third one was so good... and the 4th was really funny. I'm enjoying this one more and more each week :) also the op is super catchy

Yonkyoudai; This one is really sweet, I love the usage of different animation styles to evoke certain emotions, and the way it often mimics children's drawings works so well for this story. I get all teary eyed watching this one every time...

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, so here we go!

As per usual, this is also an Open Question Night--anything I've posted about here or on AO3 is fair game; my askbox is always open but tonight I'll be keeping an eye on it and responding. I do take prompts, but no guarantees on how quickly I fill them.

Not a whole lot to report this month--mostly because moving took up A Lot of time/energy/etc., so I didn't get as much writing done as I would have hoped, so just a quick blitz through:

OTP Meme fills-- I'm still super behind, haha. I caught up on June, but I need to do July, August, and September for all five ships this month, so that'll be fun.

PodTogether-- It got posted! It ended up being not quite all I'd hoped it would be (our plans were a lot more ambitious than our execution, haha), but the three bits that did get finished/posted I think turned out pretty well. I do enjoy doing this event a lot; next summer should be less busy for me, too, so hopefully it'll go a little smoother/I'll get a little closer to whatever my partner(s) and I end up planning (although I think I might take Leverage off my fandoms list next time; we'll see.)

Other SW-- No real updates here, other than we at SWBB got an ask about next year's event already (signups don't open til like December!!!), so I'm going to dig up what I started last year and hopefully actually finish it so I can participate. I've been involved with that event for so long that it felt weird to only do modding/betaing/podfic and not Write for it this time. (Precipice!verse has the same update it has for the past several months. It will not die until I leave this fandom, but it hasn't been getting much/any active focus lately.)

BSG-- Signups are still open for GBB! We could use a few more artists and betas. Story detail submissions are coming in, and I'm excited for what I'm seeing. I also want to get a little more into actively working on TOB over the next few weeks/by the end of the year. It's been floating around in the back of my head for so long and I thiiiiiink I've named all of the people and patched enough of the plotholes to get started...of course, now I need to figure out exactly when/where I need to start (especially since...you know, need to introduce a bunch of OCs plus explain why Baltar ends up in a different position...so yeah XD) I do still have various crossover snippets that might get worked on (like the one I reblogged the other day; there's also the Zeb and Helo one that I thought turned out pretty well); plus The Blood of Angry Men which I do genuinely plan to write at some point, but structuring it is a complicated question XD (Zarek character study/backstory piece; mostly focused on everything that initially sent him to prison, told through the lens of him looking back on it as he faces down his execution in S4; some stuff about charisma and followers he's lost/led to their deaths; the balance between him believing in his rhetoric and wanting power/using that rhetoric to gain it...a lot of really interesting things to think about here, lol)

Les Mis-- P&J will update soon; I'm also working on Acheron which I'm super excited for. I've written snippets of dialogue for Provenance (companion to P&J) but that won't get posted until the main fic is complete (because it's probably more fun to watch Ari solve as much of the puzzle as is possible given modern-day available records/evidence before filling in some of the gaps with a somewhat more traditional-style fic, lol)

Castlevania-- Not really much to say here other than at some point I will pick up Incinctus; also when Nocturne starts airing I will probably be Very Tempted to do a more active/actual crossover with Vampire Chronicles (bookverse) because. Like. The Theatre is right there lol (I know the vampire rules are very different in the two canons; which is part of why Marius existing in Incinctus is only a quick Easter Egg cameo; also Alucard and Armand would hate each other so much lol and I love them both so I'm not...suuuuuper interested in writing about that XD) Anyway, we'll see how much Nocturne actually draws me in, but at the moment I'm looking forward to it.

...I think that about covers it! Moving is exhausting and expensive but while unpacking/setup is still going on we are Fully Moved at this point, so...yay! Hopefully next month will pick up some.

[klara-rosa]

So much change recently!

I have started on yet another antidepressant because the last one my psychiatrist tried was really bad, I wasn't able to sleep and felt super jittery 🙃 now we are testing another drug and I hope it'll work.

I've also found a new therapist - finally! I think we get along really well and I like her. We are on a first name basis which I have NEVER ever been with any of my therapists. Not even my former psychologist who I've seen for 2,5 years. But my new therapist said in the second session that it would be okay with her and how I'd feel about it. She is very warm, welcoming, kind, empathetic and calm but also has a good sense of humour. I'm gonna go once a week and she has already said that we're gonna take it slow and really get to know one another so I'm feeling very positive about that. I must say it's been really nice to know I have someone professional by my side again who understands and cares and I have that routine of taking an hour per week to dedicate to my mental health only.

There's a lot of stuff to work through but for now we want to find things to lighten up my daily life to help with the depression. I do want to tackle the big things in time because now more than ever I'm realizing daily that I'm a very odd person and I want to understand why and work through it.

I'm also thinking about signing up for a bachelor's degree in psychology that can be done remotely and I would loooove to do it. Getting an education in this sort of field has been my dream for years and I've completely given up on higher education after 2021 but now I'm thinking maybe there's a way to do it. I don't even know if I'd use the degree to actually work in this field but it would be so nice for myself to do this just for me, without pressure and expectations, where I can still work and make my living in my 9 to 5 and do this degree part-time. I'll look into it further but maybe that's a possibility for the winter term!!!

Other than that I'm reminded even more than usually that comparison is a bitch and very, very bad for my mental health. Feeling inadequate and inferior all the time by evaluating myself against others, or even past versions of myself, has really been messing with my head. I feel like as I'm drawing closer to turing 30 in a couple years it's just become so obvious that I'd always imagined a really different life for myself as a kid to the life I have now as an adult. And all my school friends have gone on to study and earn degrees and marry and build houses and have kids and travel the world and enjoy their twenties, when all I've done so far is spend most of my time for the last 10 years at home, depressed, anxious about everything, hating myself with everything I've got.

But we move - I WILL work things out. I'll work on myself. I've got a support system again now. I've got a job that pays the bills. I have perspectives and I'm smart.

It'll be okay. I think.

[fountainpenguin]

While I'm sad you're not going to continue 28 Cities, could you answer some questions about it for closure sake?

DID RHYME GET AWAY FROM ZEPHYR?????? Because you kinda left off with them being set up to work at a hotel thanks to Rhyme's grand parents. Part of me is wondering that the reason why Rhyme and Reason moved through so many cities is because Zephyr is chasing them… I assume this might end with Rhyme fighting him in a climactic battle or something.

What made them want to become villains? You kinda set it up in earlier chapters with Reason pickpocketing the rude lady on the train and…. Rhyme's entire childhood of being raised by a supervillain and forced to train. What was the thing that made them become villains?

I believe you mentioned a misadventure with stealing a blimp. Do you mind elaborating on that?

What made them choose the names Rhyme and Reason instead of Super Strong Woman With Freeze Breath and Normal Guy?

Hi, thanks for the interest in my story! Although I'm not writing "28 Cities" at this time, I haven't truly abandoned it.

In truth, I went into that story without a plan because "28 Cities" was a "drabble a day" project I was trying to do, posting one chapter per day. I burned out pretty quickly because I genuinely struggle to write short things and I always wanted the one-shots to be longer, and I was getting overwhelmed and disappointed with it. I don't consider that story a great reflection of my writing abilities. I decided to put it on hold until I was ready to look at it again.

I do like the WordGirl universe and I explored it more in my one-shot "AlgoRhythm," but part of the problem was that the strict schedule I was holding myself to with "28 Cities" didn't give me enough space to worldbuild the way I wanted to. I have a lot of ideas about the world, like charm schools and genetics, and I wanted to write a bigger 'fic to explore those ideas instead.

I'm working towards that goal now with my multi-chapter Kid Math 'fic "Factor It In," which I started back in 2018. I made good progress with it back then and even drew a cute cover image I still love, but I never posted it because it felt choppy and inauthentic to my style, and I hated that.

Earlier this year, I did tidy the first few chapters of it and they're officially part of my weekly 2023 'fic schedule now ("Factor It In" Chap 1 goes up on FFN/AO3 on June 16th!) so that makes me happy :) I've got two chapters fully written (but at the end of Chapter 1 I have a note asking readers for advice on chapter length so it might end up being three chapters already done). Hopefully people enjoy that, I'm glad I had the chance to revisit it.

In short, "28 Cities" is not a dead project in my mind. It's just not part of my plans this year because it would take a ton of mental effort to plan and write for, and it won't fit in my 2023 plans.

I didn't really plan anything for "28 Cities" so you're probably not going to like my answers, but hopefully they provide some closure anyway.

---

In response to your questions:

Did Rhyme get away from Zephyr? - Probably, but I never planned it one way or another. Rhyme and Reason ran off a week or two before graduation and I doubt he's still chasing them when they're in their... 30s? He'd be in his 60s.

/It's been a long time since I saw the episode so forgive me if they had a canon age that I forgot. I'm not sure what I headcanon Rhyme and Reason as, but maybe 30s since they've lived in 28 places and it cracks me up to imagine world-weary Reason painstakingly decorating every single apartment until Rhyme blows it for them.

I don't want to commit to that for sure, though my heart will always belong to "Rhyme and Reason are legitimately adults who are platonic best friends and no one even bothers telling them they're "too young and will change their minds about being platonic when they're older" because yes they really are adults and they're happy." As far as I'm concerned, they're zucchinis and I love that for them <3 Gosh I wish that were me.

To me, Rhyme and Reason were always bouncing around because Reason wanted to put down roots and Rhyme didn't, but I never thought about her dad pursuing them. Zephyr's kind of a bitter and broken man who already lost his wife and is on awful terms with his in-laws after taking the villain route. He probably WOULD want to attack Reason for "stealing his daughter" and I can imagine Reason getting beaten up badly while Rhyme stands in shock, but I'm not sure how I'd actually play it if I went that route.

To me, Zephyr was more of the inciting incident that pushed Amy and Tyler out of their hometown, but I didn't really intend for him to be the climax. Since it was a one-shot series I didn't really see a need for a climax, but if I were to revisit it years later, I might try building towards one. Who knows.

What made them become villains? - I didn't plan that either. It's already established in WordGirl canon that "superheroes usually work for free." I built this into the backstory of Rhyme's dad (i.e. a hero who became a villain to feed his daughter after the death of his wife). In addition to Reason pickpocketing that lady who was rude to Rhyme, like you mentioned, I already painted Rhyme with a violent nature (i.e. destroying prom after her dad banned her from going) so they were probably just struggling to survive. I'm not really sure yet.

Rhyme dealt with a lot of turmoil growing up, being born to a superhero who turned to a life of crime, and she looked down on villainy for a long time. In "28 Cities," I wrote about how she ran from home and hid at her grandparents' place, and they helped her and Reason get that hotel job. I like to think these early years were focused on her and Reason building their friendship, but the crime didn't come until later. I'm not sure what sparked it, but it was absolutely after they were already "ride or die" for life.

My guess is they were probably hungry and couldn't pay rent and probably had medical bills or something [i.e. Reason getting beaten up by Zephyr so Rhyme swallows her pride and does everything she can for him even though she hates it at first] and Rhyme's grandparents were already out of their lives for a long time, so things just got tough.

Don't take this as my official canon because I still want the option to change it later if I want to, but that's a possibility for your question.

Stealing a blimp - I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you're referring to. I did a CTRL-F in the full version of the story and I didn't see anything about a blimp. I checked my OG doc and my blog, but didn't see anything in either of those places. It doesn't sound familiar.

What made them choose the names Rhyme and Reason? - I never decided, though I do headcanon that Rhyme was rhyming even when she was young, so her name was inspired by that. The phrase "rhyme and reason" is pretty common, so once Rhyme got her name, Tyler was probably like "Yeah, Reason suits me." He's the kind who couldn't care less at first, but ends up proud of his name. I'm sure he's the one who designed their logo, too.

Thank you for reaching out, and I'm sorry if this reply is less than satisfactory. "Rhyme and Reason" is my favorite episode and I love them dearly, and I'd rather focus on other projects that are more important to me right now, and maybe do "28 Cities" justice at a later time, and not butcher it in a rush <3 It's not dead to me, it just won't fit into my plans for 2023.

[capillata]

This is awesome info, though personally I definitely think the population could factor in (though I think other reasons do re: the slow acquisition and they're at the bottom). (And honestly none of this matters, I'm just noodling on it since it's relevant to a fic I'm working on, and none of it actually matters).

But even at its height of around 140k people, 7000 going missing if these were the only people going missing would be noticed - as an example: we notice serial killers on a lot less! We're really not waiting for 35 people to be missing per year in the same sort of way from probably the same sorts of places in (presumably) the same City and surrounds before we go 'UM HANG ON' - and if we do, we definitely don't wait decades.

(Obvs spoilers TW for mentions of real world situations where people go missing such as serial killers and human trafficking, but nothing graphic)

But then as pointed out in the replies, Baldur's Gate does have a high crime rate, and so it has likely a lot more than one person going missing every two weeks (factoring in the Guildhall, various cultists over the years (we all saw the number of piled skulls just hanging out in the Temple of Bhaal, right?), potentially other vampires and vampire spawn not connected to Cazador (though this one's iffy, maybe he's territorial lol), and general domestics and murder etc.

If we conclude 35 per year is the rate at which people could go missing for Cazador and people would be cheerful oblivious about it instead of banding together (which is weird, because like, the Hag quest had far less death associated with it, and that had flyers literally all over the city - not that this game is ever logical necessarily between quests) and that's the safe amount, then... speeding up the timeline just might not be workable.

I'm already working with the idea that these folks are just more dense, less caring, and less compassionate than the average person (unlikely) to not move away from a city where this sort of thing is happening and not band together to maybe figure out that an awful lot of people are being smuggled away to this giant place where Cazador lives. 35 people a year seems absorbable until we look at how real people tend to respond to this level of disappearance and crime. I live in a place that has 2.6 million people in the population. Even we would notice 35 people a year going missing suspiciously in the same or similar sort of ways. Most places would.

It only takes a handful of 'hey didn't Larry, Barry, Harry and Jerry also get taken from that brothel in the dead of night and never return? WAIT, didn't *seventy other names* also go through that in the last 3 years? HANG ON' for people to realise and then react or change their ways in case the same thing happens to them or their friend Lenny. Even if you include tourists in that figure, eventually people in other towns nearby go: 'Hey didn't Jenny, Janny, Fanny and Lucy all go missing when they went to Baldur's Gate? None of them seemed like the type. Minnie did though, goodriddance' -> and then when you have that conversation 20 years in a row you go: Hey how about no one visit Baldur's Gate just in case.

(I mean, if we wanted to be super logical about it, Cazador could've kept the streets mostly free of refugees and escaped a lot of suspicion that way because that is traditionally how most human trafficking occurs under the noses of all of us, all the time x.x)

(And that being said, if we wanted to be super logical about it, Cazador probably could've gotten everything done in about a decade of dedicated application even if the whole city did know because what was the downside? He's Ascended afterwards and near-godly in power, if everyone knows it's him, he could just be like 'sucks to be you, I am a literal Ascended Vampire and I had a timeline.')

I have to wonder if a potential 'solve' aside from numbers or population for why he took so long wasn't about how often he could safely organise people being taken from the city so much as like... potential doubt that the Ritual would even work, since we're not dealing with a ton of Ascended vampires in the game (in all of Forbidden Realms), and whether this just meant it was an idle thing he was pursuing haphazardly, alongside potential other Rituals and ideas to extend and further his power.

Also, he chose to keep the rite a secret, or the details of it a secret (re: Astarion not knowing what the poem means or even what language it's in) suggesting a not insignificant amount of paranoia, and the need to keep his spawn in the dark (heh *coughs*) even if they couldn't do much against him anyway.

Like out of all of this I could just easily believe that he doesn't really know if the Ritual's going to work and is like 'welp this is kind of ridiculous to gather THIS many people and I don't know if I want to be the world's biggest babysitter of slaves who frankly do kind of want me dead when I'm not exerting horrible sadistic control over them - funny that - and I have no role models and no one I can really go to about this and I rather like my life as it is so I'm just going to...take my time.'

Like I can see boom/bust years where some years he pursues it with zeal and other years he's like 'ho hum I'm trying this other easier ritual that doesn't require literally thousands of people because I'm tired and I feel like the people are starting to get a tad suspicious because there's flyers all around the city again.'

A maths lesson for Cazador

Pretty vague spoilers for Astarion's personal quest - beware.

Alright, so, I just can't get over the fact that 7000 / 200 = 35 people per year. Less than one person per week even with one... ahem... subcontractor, let alone seven.

I think there is a certain poetic beauty in the fact that if Cazador hadn't been such an abhorrent sick fuck and didn't debilitate his spawn for years at a time with gratuitous torture, he would have reached his goal _decades_ before any of the Mind Flayer tadpoles entered the scene to sabotage it.