#This could very possibly be my new favorite album by a female artist
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Me after listening to fetch the bolt cutters by Fiona Apple for the first time (this is The Normal Album levels of brain chemistry altering)
#Fiona apple#fetch the bolt cutters#THE ARTIST THAT YOU ARE. THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE#This could very possibly be my new favorite album by a female artist#Speak now and jagged little pill have such strong personal connections that make them really hard to top#But my mind is absolutely blown
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Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper
You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.
I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.
Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.
My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.
I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.
She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).
Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:
“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”
“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”
“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”
It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.
#album review#music#music review#rolling stone top 500#cyndi lauper#she’s so unusual#the simpsons#parks and rec
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Lee Taeyong - One Shot
Pairing: Female Reader (photographer) x Lee Taeyong (idol)
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 4,2k
Warnings: oral (f/m) | fingering (f) | penetration | protected sex | squirt | manhandling | finger sucking
Synopsis: Who would have thought that doing a photo shoot with NCT would lead you to stay after your working hours in a room alone with Taeyong...
You were already asleep when you got a call from your boss. One of the photographers who would be working tomorrow had gotten sick and he needed you to go to work in her place. You had been hired a few months ago, but you hadn't worked on any major projects yet, even though your experience in the field is impeccable. He asked you to arrive early tomorrow at the film set and your colleague would explain all the work. You were so excited, it would be your first opportunity to show your talent, whatever job it was.
You could barely sleep and ended up waking up earlier than you needed to. You chose a comfortable outfit, pants and shirt, ate your favorite breakfast, did some very basic makeup, highlighting your cute lips, and went out to the photo set. The day was beautiful with a very blue sky and a shining sun. It was almost 10 am when you arrived at the luxurious hotel where the photos would be. At the entrance, your colleague was waiting for you with an iced coffee in each hand. You greeted each other quickly, thanking her for the coffee, and headed into the hotel, picking up your credentials at the lobby. On the way to the main hall, she explained to you that they would have a big crew today because they were going to photograph a famous K-pop group, NCT127. Each photographer would be responsible for one of them during the individual photos, and the photos would be taken in a hotel room according to the aesthetic that each one wanted. She told you that you would be responsible for Taeyong, the leader of the group. You were shocked. You were just replacing the sick photographer and were you responsible for none other than the GROUP LEADER? “Don't worry, he's an experienced idol. He'll help you with whatever you need. He's also a sweetheart, rest assured”, she said, patting your arm. You sighed in relief. You need to do your best today to take your best pictures. You knew Taeyong and how perfect he was in the photos. His features were sharp and his gaze was deep, the best set for a good model.
It didn't take long for all the photographers and directors to arrive, preparing their cameras, lights and scenery, reviewing the positions and space around them. The beats of their music echoed faintly through the hall. You heard rumbles coming from the entrance to the hall and turned to see what was going on. The boys had arrived along with their security guards and managers. They were mostly in sweats and comfortable clothes, clearly without the luxurious outfits prepared for the photos. Some messy hair, sleepy eyes and yawns accompanied their expression, but that didn't stop you from noticing how beautiful they were. Extremely beautiful. They were talking to each other, sipping their coffee, laughing and settling down next to the staff members. The blonde one, Taeyong, stood in front of them, ceasing their conversation. They greeted all of the staff, bowing and smiling. The director took the lead and made the general introductions. "We will have a team responsible for each member to optimize the work today. Please direct each member to their workstation to begin preparations". He called one name at a time, redirecting the boys to their teams. The makeup artists and hairdressers started to work, preparing their looks according to the references they had received. You stood a little away from him, a little embarrassed, holding your camera. You didn't want to take pictures of him without makeup, respecting his personal space, so you waited until the stylists had finished. He was perfect now, with his hair straight and his makeup done. Soft pink lips emphasized the shape. He was fiddling with his cell phone, waiting for the moment to go change. You approached slowly. “Hi Mr. Lee… I’m Y/n. I am your photographer today”, you introduced yourself, bending a little and unable to look at him. “Hey! Nice to meet you.”. You raised your eyes a little to see him. He was smiling and waving his hand. “I didn't know you. Are you new here?”, he asked. “Yes… Hm… I'm replacing a colleague who couldn't come”, you answered, squeezing your camera in your hands. “If you have any questions or need help, just ask me, okay?”, he smiled and got up to go dress up. You breathed a sigh of relief. You were very nervous and hadn't even realized you weren't breathing properly. He seemed very kind and that made you more relieved.
The group photos were quick. The boys were very professional, they knew exactly what to do, where to look and how to position their bodies. They were very comfortable with the production, playing games with each other but not disturbing each other's work. Everyone's attention was focused on them, always going to fix some hair that was out of place, or some slightly smudged makeup. Words of encouragement from the photographers only made them more excited. You were always watching Taeyong. You needed to learn how he looked at the camera, what angles he preferred and how he liked to pose for pictures. He was the one who looked most comfortable among them all. He wore burgundy pants and a shiny leather jacket, no shirt. Sometimes your eyes locked, making your whole body heat up, and eventually you would shyly look away.
Everyone had lunch at the hotel restaurant and then went to the individual sets. All lights and equipment were mounted. The rooms weren't very big, but the staff was downsized now so you wouldn't have a problem with that. The room had a bed by the window, a sofa across the room, and a rug with wave patterns. The pale colors contrasted with Taeyong's clothes.
Individual photos took longer. Taeyong always stopped to look at the result in the notebook, giving suggestions for light, for angles, praising your photos. You were getting more and more comfortable with him, laughing at the jokes and daring to get closer. “It's almost 7 PM, we should start wrapping up”, you said. He looked at you. “I really want to try some other poses and angles. Y/n, can you stay up a little later?” he asked and you nodded quickly. It was your most important job so far and you would make the most of it. “We won't need the production. You all can go. These photos will be for my personal project. Thank you so much for your hard work today”. He said, turning to the rest of the staff. They thanked and bowed, starting to pack their things and leave the room. You were very happy that he asked you to take more photos for his personal project. So he liked your work, right? You were enjoying working with him too. The conversation and exchange of ideas flowed easily. You quickly understood what he wanted and could reproduce it with your clicks. You had good chemistry together. “I'm going to go down and get my stuff from downstairs and from there we can start, ok?”, you said, opening the door and heading for the elevator. You were very excited... and a little nervous about being alone in a room with him. Quickly grabbing your extra lights and lenses, you went back to the hotel room, thinking of all the angles that could be made there. You knocked on the door before entering. Taeyong had his notebook open, sitting on the couch. The room was cozier now that all the lights were out and there wasn't a lot of equipment in the corners. “I ordered drinks and some snacks for us. We can relax a little while I explain to you what I thought for these photos.”, he said as you put your things down by the couch, sitting on the bed in front of him. “Oh thank you! So… Tell me a little about your project, please”, you asked him. His eyes were shining as he told you about his new album that he produced himself. He was thinking about taking photos to promote digitally. A sexier concept as his songs were very intimate. You really liked everything. He had a very artistic mind and he spoke in a very emotional way.
The snacks arrived and you thanked them, you were starving. At some point you sat next to him on the couch while he showed you pictures he liked, so you could follow the concept. You both finished eating and you got up, “How do you want to start? Maybe on the couch?”, he nodded, crossing his legs and leaning on the sofa, his tiger look appearing again. His duality was incredible. Super cute and adorable off camera, but extremely irresistible on them. His poses were great and you always praised him between them, cheering him on. He lay on his back on the couch, letting his arm fall over the edge, looking directly at you through the camera lens. This was the best photo of the night, for sure. He sat, legs closed, back laying on the couch. If you were your camera right now, you would be melted by his gaze. “Can you take one up close?”, he asked. You positioned yourself very close to his legs, leaning forward to get as close as possible, trying to balance. “You can put your legs around mine. That’s okay”. You did as he said, timidly opening your legs and getting closer to him, his legs between yours. He lay a little more on the couch, flirting with the lenses. Or with you? You didn't know anymore at that point. You tried to get a little closer, but you lost your balance, falling forward. He quickly put his hands around your waist, holding you, making you sit in his lap. “Are you ok?”, he asked. You were so embarrassed, your cheeks were burning. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Thank you”, you whispered. You didn't try to get up and he didn't move either. His hands still gripping your waist, holding you in place. “Maybe a photo this close will be good”, he murmured, lightly squeezing his hands on you. You quickly raised the camera. You thanked you for not having to look him in the eye, but being able to see him through the lens was a really amazing view. You clicked several times, trying to capture the most of the moment. You tightened your thighs around him, getting closer. His hands gently moved down your legs as his gaze traveled over your entire body. He bit his lower lip when you whispered a compliment, letting his head fall back, panting softly. He was enjoying the whole moment, just like you. You took his chin between your fingers and pushed it up, making him face the camera. Your thumb lightly scraping the bitten lip as he opened it slightly. Lowering the camera, you glared into his eyes, pushing your finger slowly between his lips, testing the waters. You let a low moan escape as he ran his tongue over your finger, circling slowly and then closing his lips around it.
Taeyong was so sexy already totally drunk with pleasure underneath you, with labored breathing and huge pupils dilated by arousal. You could almost feel him melt under your touch, giving himself completely. Was this really happening? Or did you hit your head in the elevator and this is all just your mind's creation? The questioning passed quickly when you felt a sharp bite on your finger, pulling you back to reality. Yes, he was there, deliciously sucking your finger like it was the tastiest candy he'd ever had. Putting the camera to one side entirely, you looked deep into his eyes, lifting your head with a defiant look as your fingers tightened inside his mouth, forcing him to open it. He took a deep breath before suddenly grabbing you around the waist and pulling you close to his chest, causing you to lose your balance and fall onto his chest completely, bracing both your hands on the couch behind him. You felt him pushing his hips up against yours just before your lips met. His lips were colder than yours, giving you goosebumps. Quickly devouring each other, the kiss became extremely hot as your tongues twisted against each other, tasting the sweet needy taste. You slipped your hand from his chest, past his neck, into his blonde hair, tangling your fingers in, pressing your mouths even closer, deepening the kiss. A purr resonated through his chest, leaving you extremely excited. He was so responsive to your actions, melting at any gesture, especially when you showed dominance over him.
You let your head fall back, leaving your neck free, guiding Taeyong to kiss you there. Despite the strength of your hand in his hair, he took his time kissing your jaw until he reached the base of your neck, biting and licking near your collarbone. His hands moved up from your hips, working their way under your shirt, reaching the base of your breasts. His hands weren't big, but they hugged your ribs as best they could. Running his hands down your back until he reached your shoulders, he pressed you down, against your prominent volume growing inside his pants, kissing the valley between your breasts through your shirt. You can do nothing but sigh. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, letting Taeyong sink between your breasts, kissing them through the lace of your bra as his deft hands opened it from behind. He pulled back for a moment as he slipped the straps over your shoulder, letting the bra fall between you, quickly tossing it to the side. Admiring your bare breasts, he cupped them both in his hands, massaging them gently, playing with your nipples between his fingers, lightly squeezing, earning a moan from you. Looking deep into your eyes, he brought his pink lips near to your nipple, pressing the tip of his tongue around it before capturing it with his mouth. The other one was being pinched and twirled between his fingers. You could feel your arousal making you wet, pooling in the fabric of your panties. You pressed your hips against his, trying to feel him hard against your clothed core.
You were startled when he quickly flipped you over with your back to the couch, sitting you down and pulling your hips closer to the edge. He found the waistband of your pants and pulled it with his fingers along with your panties, leaving you totally naked. His eyes ran all over your body, burning through every part they passed. Spreading your legs, he positioned in the middle as he sought your lips for another hot kiss. He was still fully dressed and it made you a little embarrassed to be undressed. You took advantage of the fact that he was close and started to open the buttons on his leather coat as he sucked your tongue and left bites on your lips. He helped you finish taking off his coat, throwing it somewhere in the room. He took a moment for you to look at him between your legs, standing up, and appreciate his gorgeous torso, now exposed since he wasn't wearing any shirt. He knelt gracefully between your legs, still looking into your eyes, and placed his hands on the inner part of your thigh, forcing you to spread your legs even further so that he could fit his broad shoulders between them. He brought his lips too close to your wet folds, but he didn't touch, just laid there, breathing hot, making you feel how close he was from your core. You grabbed his hair and forced his head against you, which he gladly accepted, flattening his tongue on your cunt. It didn't take long before he was devouring you hungrily, licking up all of your liquid, sucking on your clit and twisting his tongue around it. It felt great and you moaned his name under your breath, trying not to yell at all the neighbors to hear. You felt your orgasm approaching and began to roll your hips, rubbing yourself against his tongue. You couldn't help when your back arched and the wave of heat spilled over your whole body. He didn't stop sucking on your clit, prolonging the sensation of pleasure as your body writhed with each movement. When the sensation started to get painful from overstimulation, he slipped two fingers inside your wet interior, starting to move them curved, reaching the most sensitive point. You were about to ask him to stop when you felt another orgasm coming. His fingers worked fast in and out of your pussy, rubbing your g-spot with precision, while his mouth kissed your super sensitive clit. You felt an incredible pressure taking hold of your uterus, as if your bladder were suddenly too full. You tried to close your legs, but he held you tight, looking you in the eyes, daring you to stay there. You were hit by a high-speed train when your second orgasm came too quickly compared to the previous one. “Fuck…”, you yelled as you heard the louder and wet noises spreading through the room as Taeyong guided you through your moment of ecstasy. When you managed to open your eyes, he was looking at you with a proud smile on his lips. “God…that was really hot…”, he said, bringing his soaked fingers to his mouth, sucking each one until there was no juices left. You looked at your legs and saw that they were much wetter than usual. It's been a long time since you last had a squirt. And you were sure this wasn't the first time he's done this with a woman.
You saw his other hand rubbing the volume down his pants. He made you feel so good and now you wanted to return the favor. “Get up”, you asked, signaling with your finger. He immediately got up. Small dark stains covered the front of his burgundy pants, hit by your juices. Both of his hands were clasped behind his back, puffing out his chest and taking a deep breath, waiting for you. You reached for the button on his pants, undoing it slowly as you teased him with your gaze. You slid the zipper down at a slow pace, anticipating your touch on his cock. He was wearing black boxers, which fit perfectly against his body, showing the design of his hard member constrained by the fabric. You dropped his pants on his feet. Taking a firm grip on his ass and squeezing, you brought your lips close to his still-covered volume, sliding your lips over his length. You earned a sigh of appreciation. He didn't tease you, so you wouldn't tease him either. You grabbed the waistband of his boxers and pulled it down, freeing his hard cock. He was wet with pre-cum, glistening in the bedroom light, inviting your mouth to suck it. You took it in your hand, being careful not to put too much pressure, and brought the tip to your lips, giving light kisses around it as you looked at him. His eyes sparkling with anticipation when you stuck your tongue out, gently circling, collecting the pre-cum to taste it. He was so sweet you almost couldn't believe it. You put his whole head in your mouth and increased the pressure on your hand, making him moan louder than before. Sliding down to the end of its length and back, feeling it hit the back of your throat, you started to suck it, your other hand mimicking your movements, but to the opposite side. When your head twisted to the right as you swallowed his length, your hand met twisting to the left. He was moaning hard from pleasure, making you feel proud of your perfect blowjob. You were determined to make him come in your mouth, so you took his balls with your free hand, gently massaging them back and forth as you deepthroated his entire length. You were about to go back when you felt his hand pressing your head further, keeping his cock in your hot throat. You couldn't fight the gag reflex, but he pulled back your head, freeing your throat so you could breathe.
Your lips were all wet with saliva, as was his dick. He pulled your head, making you look at him. "Please… I don't want to come yet…", he begged between sighs. You stood up, hugging his defined waist, quickly spinning him around, causing him to lose his balance and land on the couch. You sat on his lap, positioning your needy pussy on top of his hard cock. Resting your hands on his chest, you started grinding his entire length with your wet folds. He took hold of your hips and helped guide the movement, rolling his eyes back at the wonderful feeling it was like to have you slide past him. “Do you have a condom?”, you asked. He was a little bewildered with pleasure and looked a little startled by the question. “Y-yes…”, he replied, quickly reaching into his wallet and pulling one out. You barely waited for him to finish putting on as you positioned yourself with your entrance to the head of his cock, taking advantage that he was holding it up.
You slid painfully slowly across his length, watching his gaze fixed on where he disappeared inside you. You both moaned low as you reached the end, waiting until your tight walls got used to his size. He cupped both of your breasts, taking one of them in his mouth and kissing it as if it were your lips. You started to roll your hips with his dick deep inside you. “Fuck…”, you both whispered. You couldn't keep it that way for long, so you got up until it almost came out of you, and sank down again. You kept the rhythm steady, enjoying the pleasure inside you. Your brain still didn't seem to process the fact that you were fucking none other than Taeyong. He was really perfect, like he came out of an anime. And he was enjoying being there with you… it made you even more turned out. He started to move his hips too, slamming against you harder, pushing even deeper. You couldn't hold back a shriek of pleasure as it hit so deep you could have sworn you'd feel pain there tomorrow. He kept it deep and strong, the thrusts getting more and more sloppy while the two of you were a moaning mess. Both bodies tense feeling the orgasm approaching, labored breathing filling the room with gasps of air. Grabbing the hair at the back of his head and forcing him away from your sensitive nipple, you captured his lips with yours, still tasting your own juice on his tongue. You could feel your walls tightening and his cock throbbing. You stopped bouncing on him, just focusing on kissing his mouth, but he held your hips in the air, giving him room to move under you, pushing his cock deeper and faster with harder and harder. You dropped your head at the base of his neck, moaning not so low his name as he nibbled and sucked on your neck, increasing your pleasure even further. “Fuck, Taeyong… I’m so close… Please, don’t stop”, you begged this time, holding tight his body against yours. Your words made him fuck you even faster, moaning in a low tone countless curses in your ear. Your orgasm erupted as he licked and bit your earlobe, giving you shivers all over your body, followed by the tingling sensation. Your walls squeezed his cock hard inside you, sucking him in with your pussy. He couldn’t hold it any longer and he's bursted all of his cum into the condom, deep inside you. He didn't stop moving in and out until you were both almost starting to feel pain from overstimulation.
You lay there cuddled together as your bodies rested, restoring your breathing rhythm and heartbeat. This all still didn't feel real. You just had the best sex of your life with… him. You were awakened from your thoughts by his voice in your ear. “Can we take a shower together?”, he asked, his voice so soft he didn't sound like the same person from a few minutes ago. “Only if you wash my hair for me…”, you joked. “Okay, I can do that”, he smiled. He helped you to your feet and went to the bathroom and started getting ready for the shower. “I'll order us something to eat if you don't mind. I'm hungry and I believe you are too”. You nodded as you wrapped yourself in the robe that was in the bedroom. He was being so adorable and caring. In fact, you wouldn't expect him to just send you away after having melted under your touch so easily. He was a gentleman and he was making you feel special right now.
The shower was fun and he let you do various hairstyles with the shampoo bubbles in his hair. Also the timing was perfect. As soon as you guys got out of the shower and wrapped yourself in your hotel robes, the food he ordered arrived in your room. Both of you ate while he told stories about behind the scenes in the clips and funny situations with other members of the group. He was so easy to talk to and give you pleasure that you could easily fall in love...
#taeyong smut#taeyong#lee taeyong#lee taeyong smut#nct scenarios#nct smut#nct 127#nct 127 smut#nct fanfic
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Aaron Dessner Talks Taylor Swift’s New Album folklore
By: Sam Sodomsky for Pitchfork Date: July 24th 2020
Like millions of people across the world, Taylor Swift spent the past few months in isolation, stuck at home, changing plans, reflecting on the past, and imagining new connections. One of those new connections was with Aaron Dessner, the multi-instrumentalist and producer from the National.
On release day, he called us from his home in the Hudson Valley to speak about their entirely virtual but highly collaborative process, sounding just as surprised as anyone. “Nobody needs to tell Taylor Swift how to write a song - and I certainly didn’t,” he says with a laugh. “But it did feel like we were going toe-to-toe pushing each other.”
What is your personal relationship with Taylor Swift’s music? I’ve always admired her craftsmanship and talent. But 1989 was the first one I was really listening to as a fan. My brother [Bryce Dessner, guitarist in the National] and I were in Iceland with [performance artist] Ragnar Kjartansson, and he’s a total Swiftie. It was the summer of 1989, and we’d be hanging out listening to it loud. Ragnar is an art historian, so he was just contextualizing every moment. It was a lot of fun. That’s when we became bigger fans.
When did you actually meet her for the first time? We met her at Saturday Night Live in 2014 when Lena Dunham was hosting. And then she came to see us play last summer in Prospect Park during this crazy torrential downpour. She was there with Antoni [Porowski] from Queer Eye. She talked a lot with my brother and me. That’s when we realized how much of a fan she was, and how lovely and down to earth. I don’t know that many people who have that sort of success, so it’s a nice feeling to realize they’re cool. That left a good impression.
She got in touch again at the end of April. I got a text and it said, “Hey it’s Taylor. Would you ever be up for writing songs with me?” I said, “Wow. Of course.” It was a product of this time. Everything we had planned got cancelled. Everything she had planned got cancelled. It was a time when the ideas in the back of your head came to the front. That’s how it started.
You ended up with a credit on 11 of the 16 songs. How did the collaboration get going? At the very beginning of March, Justin Vernon and I had gone to Texas to work on the new Big Red Machine album. I had been living with my family in France as COVID was starting to spiral out of control in Europe. I said to my wife that maybe they should come back to the States with me because I was worried about getting separated. So we got tickets, and my kids and wife flew to [the family’s home in] Upstate New York and I flew to Texas. I was there for a week, and by the time I got back Upstate, the borders were being shut and we got stuck. I have the Long Pond studio here, so in a way it was lucky.
I hunkered down here and started to write a ton of music - more than I ever have. I thought maybe they were National or Big Red Machine ideas or maybe something totally different. Things were happening.
So when [Taylor] reached out, I had this large folder of ideas that were pretty well on their way. She was very clear that she didn’t want me to edit any of my ideas; she wanted to hear everything that was interesting to me at this moment, including really odd, experimental noise. So I made a folder of stuff, including some pretty out-there sketches. A few hours later, she sent “Cardigan,” fully written in a voice memo. That’s when I realized that this was unusual—just the focus and clarity of her ideas. It was pretty astonishing. Over the next couple months, this would just happen; all of a sudden, I’d get a voice memo. And then another. Eventually, it was so inspiring that I wrote more ideas that were specifically in response to what she was writing.
When did it occur to you that an album was forming? There were moments when we started to reflect on what we were doing. The first three songs we wrote were “Cardigan,” “Seven,” and “Peace.” “Cardigan” is probably the closest to a pop song on the record—it’s this epic narrative. And then “Seven” was this nostalgic, wistful, emotional folk song. And then when she wrote “Peace,” I realized she can do anything! She is so versatile. It’s just a harmonized bassline with a pulse and a drone, and she basically wrote a Joni Mitchell love song to it. She only did one vocal take, and that’s what’s on the record.
Were you communicating through the whole process? Yeah. We were pretty much in touch daily for three or four months by text and phone calls. Some of it was about production and restructuring things but a lot of it was just excitement. We both felt that this was some of the best work we have done. That was a strange and surreal thing to have happen, especially at this time.
At one point I was randomly doxxed by right-wing conspiracy theorists who misidentified me as an Antifa organizer in Ohio, long story, but it was in the middle of all this work. I didn’t want to stress her out so I didn’t tell her. But at some point she laughed and said, “So you’re a notorious anarchist?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I was gonna mention that."
How did the collaboration with Bon Iver on “Exile” come about? Taylor wrote that one with the singer-songwriter William Bowery. When Taylor sent it to me as a voice memo, she sang both the male and female parts - as much as she could fit in without losing her breath. We talked about who she was imagining joining her, and she loves Justin [Vernon]’s voice in Bon Iver and Big Red Machine. She was like, “Oh my god, I would die if he would do it. It would be so perfect.” I didn’t want to put pressure on Justin as his friend, so I said, “Well, it depends on if he’s inspired by the song but I know he thinks you’re rad.” Which he does.
So I sent him the song and he was really into it. He tweaked some parts and added parts as well - the bridge where he says, “Step right out.” The end too, and his choral parts. It was fun because Justin and I work on a lot of stuff together, so it was very easy and natural. At some point I felt like a superfan, hearing two of my favorite singers. This was all being done remotely, but it was one of those moments where your head hits the back of the wall and you’re like, “Fuck. Okay.”
There is some fan debate over William Bowery’s identity - I’m not familiar with him. I’m not either. I haven’t actually met him because of social distancing, which is kind of funny. I think he’s a friend.
Did you feel the pressure of working with an artist at Taylor Swift’s level? I tried hard not to think about the scope or scale of making a record that would be heard by millions and millions of people. I did a pretty good job of tuning that out. Music for me is an emotional necessity. It’s therapy. It’s what I live and breathe. All these songs are things I was working on already, and we both felt there was some serendipity in the fact that we ended up in this situation together. I just stayed focused on that, on making this as good as we can.
As the release got closer, I almost thought it wouldn’t happen. Or maybe I just told myself that! The National guys will tell you the same thing - I tend to work until the last possible minute. I didn’t really have a moment to be like, “Holy shit! People are gonna hear this.” We were joking about it last night. I said, “So this actually happened?” And she goes, “Yep!”
What was it like working under total secrecy? There was no outside influence at all. In fact, nobody knew, including her label, until hours before it was launched. For someone who’s been in this glaring spotlight for 15 years, it’s really liberating to have some privacy and work on her own terms. She deserves that. At times, if I wanted friends to play on the record, it was a little difficult because you can’t send a file with her vocals. But everyone was cool. At the end, I reached out to some wizards just to add bits, and that was nice. It was kind of fun: “What? Why can’t you tell me, Aaron?” Then they start guessing. Everyone made a game out of it.
Is there any music that was left on the cutting room floor? There are things I feel could still be songs. It does feel like an ongoing collaboration. Now Taylor is starting to help with other things. We’re bouncing other ideas off each other, whether it’s Big Red Machine or other things. There’s a community aspect. I think that’s how music should be.
#the anarchist comment...please lmao =)#also this could mean she is writing for Bon Iver? or their side projects? now THAT I wouldn't mind at all#Aaron Dessner#interview#about taylor#taylor swift#pitchfork#folklore era#folklore album#release week
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F/M Pairing: Y/N x Lee Minho
Genre: Married Life AU, Romance
Warnings: Smut and Language
Word Count: 11K
Summary: Despite her reputation, Y/N is considered one of the very best agents in the music industry. Of course, it doesn’t help that she married one of her clients---notoriously stubborn and arrogant Lee Minho AKA the extremely talented Lee Know whose silky voice and amazing choreographies appeal to an enormous fan-base. A pop singer who prefers to work alone, Y/N usually obliges Minho’s preferences...until her boss demands that he collaborate with the up-and-coming and multi-talented trio, 3racha.
Well, nobody ever said that married life is easy.
For: @hwngjn
There’s a certain decorum involved with the management of arrogant pop singers who think the entire world revolves around their singular existence. In my experience, if you want to tame these wild inclinations, then it’s best to do one of the three things: 1) leave the company ASAP with a two-week notice and a heartfelt plea for a good recommendation, 2) tolerate the existence of this pop singer and hope that he matures with age, or 3) marry this pop singer because you fell in love without understanding the fraternization clause of your contract.
Allow me to elaborate: options one and two will leave you with enough room to continue rising through the ranks without much conflict with upper management. You see, I have firsthand knowledge because I lived through the ensuing outcomes, leaving my first job at the tender age of 23 with very little knowledge and then arduously suffering at my next position with a female artist who insisted on testing my patience. But then again, if you choose to skip options one and two and pursue option three, then you better learn to live with the consequences because it will bring the most long-term effects.
Let me start from here because, for the most part, the consequences for me were fairly minimal. The record company was, of course, incensed when they found out about my unauthorized affair. Unfortunately, Minho liked to brag about the things he cherished, and he made no secret of our relationship outside of the company. I knew it was only a matter of time before the issue was brought to the attention of Mr. Park, the company’s CEO and head producer.
I can still remember sitting in his big office, ignoring the lingering smell of smoke, while Mr. Park shoved my management contract in my face. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, to which I had no response other than my weakness for Minho’s cunning smile. “You’re done here,” he announced and my heart broke in my chest.
Fortunately, before I could finish packing my belongings on the same afternoon, Minho had appeared at my desk with a very unhappy Mr. Park trailing behind him with an intense scowl. “Tell her,” Minho growled.
“Y/N,” he sighed. “You’ve been reinstated. Mr. Lee made a convincing argument on your behalf. Apparently, he can’t possibly work here and renew his contract without you as his manager.”
I remember glaring at Minho for his intervention, since our impromptu marriage was entirely his fault. “Thank you, sir.”
Thereafter, I was determined to do the best job I could as famed singer Lee Know’s manager, even if it meant facing scrutiny from jealous fans or bowing my head when I faced another agent in the hallways. I suppose I could deal with their scrutiny because it was better than the alternative of finding myself lounging away in Minho’s expensive condo unemployed and ruined because of my reputation. Even so, I was walking on thin glass everyday, and Minho continued to make things hard by insisting that he didn’t need to follow the rules, especially since he insisted on some one-sided feud with Mr. Park.
For example, today Minho was scheduled for an interview with a very distinguished magazine, but my husband had decided to prioritize his never ceasing libido over regular responsibilities. “Hold still,” Minho said, smirking against the side of my neck while his hands made quick work of my skirt and panties, shoving them harshly down my legs to make room for his greedy touches. Inhibited access to the heat between my legs, presented to him in just the way he liked, meant that his fingers were currently teasing the swollen folds of my labia while I fell apart at the seams.
I could tell that Minho wanted to take his time, but one glance at my wristwatch told me that we weren’t allowed such liberties today. “No, sir,” I said, reaching behind me to scratch my nails along his forearm. “You have an interview in ten minutes!”
“Relax,” he said, kissing delicately down the individual knobs of my spine. “I missed you today.”
“How romantic,” I deadpanned. “Can you hurry before the agency sends someone to look for us?”
As I said before, Minho was never the type to follow clear instructions, and he didn’t like the fact that his agency was rather strict when it came to scheduling. He liked to spite the men upstairs whenever an opportunity arose, such as prolonging needless foreplay when I was already dripping down my thighs because of his ministrations. I reached behind me for his belt, attempting to undo the zipper and release the erection straining the material.
“What’s your hurry, sweetheart?” he purred, knocking away my hand.
“My job as your manager,” I returned, fervently trying to hasten our unexpected intimacy.
“Well, as your favorite client, I suggest you bend over for me so I can fuck this little pussy.”
His words went straight to the tight coil offering no resistance the longer Minho continued to speak dirty words into my ears. “Did you lock the door?”
“Why? Are you expecting someone?”
I frowned, ready to offer a snarky retort before the words were wiped clean from my head when I felt the tip of his cock sink into my awaiting heat. “What was that, sweetheart?” he asked and I moaned loudly because he was suddenly intense with his movements, leaving no room to gather my bearings before he was fucking at a harsh pace.
Actually, in hindsight, I should’ve seen this coming when I met Minho in my office for the very first time. He walked in wearing a loose-fitting tank top and tight skinny jeans like he was attending a fraternity party instead of a company meeting. Minho’s steps were completely assured, sunglasses framing his face perfectly and standing out against the smooth tone of his skin. “Y/N?” he asked with a smirk.
“Miss Y/L/N,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “The agency assigned you to my care.”
“Really?” Minho asked, cocksure and smiling bright as he made himself comfortable on my futon without permission. “Miss, you say?”
“We go by professional titles, Mr. Lee,” I said, glaring at him from behind my computer screen.
“Sure,” he dismissed, reaching for the flower vase on my coffee table. “How does this work exactly? You do whatever I ask, right?”
“Put the vase down and pay attention.”
Minho’s smile vanished at my tone. “What did you say?”
“Mr. Lee, the agency forewarned me about your...behavior. I must assure you that it won’t be tolerated because my job is to make sure that you do everything outlined in your contract. I’m sure you didn’t bother taking the time to read it, but there are certain things the company expects of you other than posting to your Twitter at 3:00 AM in the morning.”
I took a deep breath, satisfied that he appeared to be listening. “For example, the company expects your first album release this October. It’s my job to make sure you attend all recording sessions. Furthermore, promotions will be anticipated leading to the album’s delivery to applicable streaming platforms. That means interviews, photoshoots, award shows, and radio performances. Please understand that I’m one of the very best this agency has to offer, which means my clients demonstrate respect and high aptitude for their work and how it reflects on the company. From the moment you first stepped through that door, I knew that you lacked both of those capabilities.”
I stood up from my desk, walking around to the front to regard the man who suddenly found it difficult to look at me. “Here’s a warning, Mr. Lee. If you fail to adhere to my standards, then I won’t hesitate to ask the company to find you a new manager, understand?”
Minho scoffed, snatching his sunglasses away before nodding his head. “Fine.”
Satisfied, I reached behind me for the manila folder I prepared for his arrival. “Now, let’s review your schedule.”
Of course, that was two years ago and despite the whirlwind of mischievousness that encapsulated Minho, including several scandals, an endless barrage of paparazzi, and several intense arguments with upper management, I wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything else in the world. You see, I never counted on falling in love with an idol singer, but he managed to charm his way into my good graces with an irresistible smile and warm personality masked beneath his arrogant facade of indifference. He always brought a smile to my face, even in the midst of an intense orgasm bent over my desk as his cock hit deep inside.
He fingers wrapped around my wrist, dragging my watch into his line of vision. “Two minutes, Y/N.”
I groaned in complaint, wondering how someone who graduated college with a flawless 4.0 GPA continuously broke company rules on a daily basis.
The following morning, I found myself crushed between several executives for an undisclosed company meeting. “Everyone!” Mr. Park announced. “I have exciting news for this year’s Christmas theme.”
A chorus of groans greeted his words. “Sir, I thought we were leaving the decision for the talent?” another agent spoke up.
“Yes, but I think this will work better for our core demographics,” Mr. Park said. “Y/N!”
I sat up straighter, attempting to look more alert than I felt inside. Unfortunately, Minho had kept me up all night in the small recording studio he built in our shared condo, asking me for continuous feedback on his latest project. “Sir?”
“Mr. Lee gave us a very interesting demo last week for a recent project.”
“Oh?”
“I’d like to make it a collaboration effort with our talent,” Mr. Park said and my heart seized in my chest because I knew firsthand just how much Minho despised working with other people. “3racha have landed their first platinum album. We need to capitalize on their success!”
“You want a collaboration between 3racha and Minho?” I asked, swallowing hard at the idea of telling my husband.
“Exactly,” Mr. Park said with a smile. “For the music video, I was thinking we could also invite Hwang Hyunjin and Lee Felix to choreograph something for the project.”
“How...exciting?” I offered, cringing at my tone. Thankfully, Mr. Park was already addressing 3racha’s manager while I stared at my empty coffee mug and wondering if I would need more caffeine to survive.
Afterwards, Mr. Park adjourned our meeting and I returned to my office to find Minho waiting for me perched on the edge of my desk. “Sweetheart,” he greeted me, pulling me in by my waist to press a welcoming kiss to my pout. “You seem worried?”
I leaned back enough to meet his gaze. “You better promise me that you won’t get upset and scream.”
Minho rolled his eyes. “When have I ever done that?”
A million scenarios filtered through my mind before I decided to leave those memories in the past. “I just finished a company meeting.”
“Oh yeah?” he nodded, playing with the necklace resting against my collarbone. “What happened?”
I took a deep breath, searching for the right words. “Mr. Park had an... interesting suggestion.”
Minho glanced up and narrowed his eyes. “This doesn’t sound good.”
“He wants a collaboration,” I said, deciding to go for the killing blow before I could lose any more of my fading confidence. “The new demo you played for the company. He wants you to work with 3racha.”
Minho was quiet for a moment before he chuckled. “Really? Well, I don’t think so, sweetheart. You know how I feel about those things.”
I released an unsteady exhale. “It might be an opportunity?”
He shook his head. “You just march your cute little ass back into Park’s office and tell him I’m not interested.”
I groaned, pulling out of Minho’s arms to walk around my desk. “I have no power to tell Mr. Park anything.”
“Why not? You’re my manager!”
“Yeah, but he’s the head producer and owner,” I remarked, offering him an unimpressed look as I sat down to unlock my computer. “Besides, I think it’s a cool idea for the fans.”
Minho frowned. “Fuck, if I’m collaborating with anyone, then it’s gonna be Sam Smith or Post Malone.”
“As likely as that sounds,” I started with a dramatic sigh, “I think you should start small and work your way to the top.”
“But 3racha?” Minho grimaced. “Those fucking guys think they’re the absolute shit around here.”
“That sounds familiar.”
“Not funny,” Minho grumbled. “It’s my demo. I should be able to choose who I work with.”
“I think you’ve forgotten the fine print in your contract,” I said, reaching across the desk to offer his hand a gentle squeeze. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this. Can’t you make an exception...for me?”
Minho sighed, and I offered my absolute best pout in return.
“You’re lucky that I love you.”
Later that afternoon, I was surprised to meet Mr. Kim in the elevator on my way to the lobby. It was heavily rumored around the office that 3racha’s manager was notorious for locking himself away in the studio with his favorite clients. “Y/N,” he greeted me. “Are you busy?”
“Not really,” I said, holding up a folder. “I was bringing some files to Mr. Park.”
“Leave them with his secretary,” Mr. Kim insisted. “I thought it might be a good idea for you to meet my clients since we’ll be working together.”
“Minho is busy with an interview right now.”
“Oh, that’s fine,” Mr Kim said. “Maybe it’s better if you talk to them first?”
I considered his offer, noting the disheveled appearance of his suit. “How long have you been trying to find me?”
“Does right now work for you?” he continued, pointedly ignoring my question.
“If you must insist,” I grumbled. “But they’ll have to meet at some point.”
“Yes, but I think we can delay the inevitable,” Mr. Kim said with a pointed look which I knew was directed at my husband.
“Fine.”
My easy agreement was met with a satisfied smirk to which I resisted the urge to remind Mr. Kim that I was only meeting his clients to make things easier for everyone involved in the collaboration. Of course, I had no room to talk down to my superiors and Mr. Kim’s credentials were practically golden compared to the minimal mark I had left on the company and its prolific talent. Instead, I let out a shaky exhale, wondering if it was too late to reconsider the fight I endured on a regular basis to keep my position with the company.
“Here we are,” Mr. Kim grinned. The elevator stopped on the top floor with a resounding alarm. “I think you’ll find my clients to be satisfactory.”
“In comparison to Minho, you mean?” I asked, narrowing my eyes as Mr. Kim urged me to follow him down a narrow hallway. I vaguely recognized our destination, but I usually never lingered around the studios.
“Did I say that?”
“It was implied,” I sighed, crossing my arms.
“Well, that wasn’t my intention, Y/N. You, of course, understand that nothing between us is personal?”
“We’re colleagues, Mr. Kim,” I replied. “That defines our relationship.”
“In that case...” he trailed off, pausing outside one of the doors. “I’m excited to work together.”
I rolled my eyes when he turned his back, but held my tongue as he reached for my hand to drag me inside the room. Immediately, my eyes were drawn to the plethora of monitors and screens dragging the walls of the entertainment studio. It reminded me of my early time as an intern during college, overwhelmed by the inner workings of the record company I was privileged to support, learning everything about the business. There was also a time, however briefly, when I first entered my current company as nothing more than an executive assistant for Mr. Kim who enjoyed reminding me of the fact, especially when his clients continued to eclipse mine in popularity. And that included the three men who offered us polite smiles when we interrupted their session.
“Y/N,” Mr. Kim said, dragging me further into the room. “I thought it might be nice to formally offer introductions. I’d like you to meet Bang Chan, Han Jisung, and Seo Changbin.”
“I’m very excited,” I said, taking on a professional tone as I extended my hand to Chan. “My client is looking forward to your future collaboration.”
Chan accepted my outstretched hand, curling his fingers around mine. “Likewise.”
I withdrew my hand slowly, offering Jisung and Changbin a courteous nod. “Mr. Kim insisted that we meet today.”
“Yes,” Chan nodded. “But your client is noticeably absent.”
I swallowed hard as I met his gaze. “Minho is busy with an interview.”
“I see,” Chan remarked, taking a step back. “Well, 3racha is working until this evening. Perhaps Minho could join us here after his meeting.”
I turned around to look at Mr. Kim who only shrugged in response as if it hadn’t been his idea to keep Minho as far away as possible until necessary. I rolled my shoulders, schooling my expression as I gave Chan an airy laugh. “That only makes sense, doesn’t it? Let me send him a message.”
“In the meantime,” Changbin sighed from behind us. “We can continue with the recording.”
“Keep us updated, Y/N,” Chan said, returning to his work while I started on drafting a message for Minho.
To Minho: Tell me when your interview ends
“Y/N,” Mr. Kim cleared his throat. “I hope Minho’s schedule is cleared for tomorrow?
I raised one eyebrow in question. “Tomorrow?”
“We’d like to start the first recording session,” Chan replied. “Mr. Park played us some of Minho’s demo and we have some ideas for the track.”
“Oh,” I responded, completely out of my element when it came to the actual creation of music despite the many nights I spent with Minho in our home studio. “I’m sure we can make it work.”
“Perfect,” Mr. Kim declared, pulling out his cellphone with a grin. “I’ll make the arrangements on my end.”
Mr. Kim stepped out into the hallway, leaving me alone with his clients who were all watching me with barely concealed curiosity. “You know,” Chan started, “I’ve listened to Minho’s albums. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to write love songs.”
“He likes to experiment,” I said, blushing when I recalled the way he had intimately explained the meaning behind his new demo, but there was no way I was telling anyone that the song was about me.
“Is he...open to criticism?” Jisung asked hesitantly.
“Why? Is there something wrong with the demo?”
“Of course not!” Jisung immediately corrected. “I just thought I’d ask because we have some cool suggestions to improve the overall quality. But I don’t know if Minho would listen.”
It was highly unlikely. “I’m sure he’s open for improvement,” I lied, wincing when I felt my phone vibrate from inside my pocket.
Minho: Call me.
“One second, gentlemen,” I said, cringing at my tone before escaping into the hallway. I held up my cell phone reluctantly, tapping on Minho’s contact name to place the call. He answered almost immediately. “Minho?”
“Sweetheart,” came his voice from the other end. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Yeah,” I said with a heavy exhale. “I’m with 3racha.”
He was silent on the other end for an uncomfortable duration. “Why?”
“Mr. Kim caught me on the way to Mr. Park’s office,” I said. “He insisted we meet.”
“Really? Are you having fun?”
I inwardly groaned at Minho’s tone, recognizing it as the same one he reserved when he was feeling particularly annoyed. “They want to meet you too.”
I was met with another long silence and then- “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
I paced outside the studio entrance, wondering if Minho had suddenly had a change of heart in the brief amount of time he had been notified of the collaboration project. After all, everything would be a lot easier if my husband wasn’t so stubborn, a perfectionist in every sense of the word who had trouble delegating work to other people, especially when he didn’t trust them. But for this to be successful, Minho would need to respect 3racha as capable artists who knew what they were doing when it came to creating hit singles.
“This feels more like an intervention,” Minho suddenly announced, trudging down the hallway and pulling me out of my foreboding thoughts.
“Then don’t give me a reason to be nervous,” I said, accepting his brief kiss before reaching out for the door handle. “Promise me you’ll behave?”
“I’ll try,” Minho grumbled, and that was the only confirmation I received before letting the literal beast into the jungle..
Chan was the first to realize Minho’s arrival, standing up from the couch to greet Minho with a professional smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Minho glared at Chan’s outstretched hand. “I’m not thrilled about this collaboration.”
I shook my head, resisting the urge to grab Minho’s hand and force him to feign politeness for once in his life. “Oh,” Chan said, retracting his arm. “I just thought we should get along since we’re working together.”
“A temporary arrangement,” Minho said, clicking his tongue as he turned around to look at me. “Y/N can handle the PR stuff.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” I quipped, trying to lighten the air even though Minho had more or less successfully generated enough tension to last a lifetime.
“Mr. Lee, my clients were hoping to schedule a session tomorrow,” Mr. Kim said. “We’d like to start on the collaboration as soon as possible.”
“Sure,” Minho said, jaw clenching to betray that he wasn’t entirely happy. “I’d like to work quickly.”
A long, insufferable silence ensued while Minho took his time studying the three artists he was expected to share his newest creation. Finally, Mr. Kim interrupted the never-ending staring contest, flashing a forced smile. “Bring the demo with you, Mr. Lee, and anything else you’ve been working on.”
Minho nodded. “I’ve already finished most of the song.” I took a deep breath, waiting until Minho turned around to look at me. “I have something to do, so I’ll see you at home.”
I bowed my head, holding my tongue until the sound of the door closing broke whatever spell Minho had cast over our sullen group. “Pleasant isn’t he?” Changbin snorted.
“He’s just busy,” I tried to excuse, but the sentiment fell short and I suddenly had the desire to run down the hall with my arms flailing above my head.
I guess we can consider day one a complete and total failure.
Despite the awkward tension of Minho’s first meeting with 3racha, I was determined that the remainder of the collaboration would endure no further obstacles. Accordingly, I woke up early the next morning with every intention of playing the part of the mediator, which meant doing everything possible to improve Minho’s mood. For example, my husband was notorious for being intimidating at work, but he was nothing short of soft at home and I took advantage of his early-morning clinginess by surprising him with breakfast in bed and open arms without worrying about rushing through our usual routine.
“You want something,” Minho said, one arm pulling me close to his chest while his other hand made busy work of his breakfast.
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“In general? Maybe it’s the fact that we’re already twenty minutes behind schedule and you aren’t losing your shit.”
I opened one eye, watching him as he swallowed down the remainder of his orange juice. “I’m comfortable.”
“Really?” Minho snickered, looking down with a knowing glance. “Sweetheart, you’re usually pushing me out the door right about now.”
“Well, things have been hectic at the company, so I thought it might be nice to treat ourselves.”
“I assume you’re talking about my required collaboration with the three idiots,” Minho said.
“I’m concerned,” I continued. “Minho, you hate working with the other artists, but this isn’t something we can just walk away from.”
“I understand,” Minho sighed. “I don’t want you to worry about me or the collaboration. I promise to be a good boy.”
I rolled my eyes at his tone. “That’s a great way to instill confidence.”
“They’re irritating,” Minho continued. “My inbox is full of messages and I hate email.”
“Welcome to the 21st century.”
“Are you sure Mr. Park wanted this?”
“Minho,” I said, slowly pulling myself out of his arms. “Stop thinking about the project like it’s some sort of punishment. Consider it an opportunity instead.”
“Please feel free to elaborate.”
“3racha are incredibly famous and they have a considerable fanbase,” I said. “When those fans hear your voice on the record, they might start paying more attention to your music.”
Minho exhaled, chest falling beneath my hands. “I see your point, but I don’t like it.”
“Nobody said you had to like it,” I reminded him. “Be nice to them.”
“What are you asking me to do?” my husband groaned, rolling over onto his stomach.
I quickly straddled his waist, working my fingers into the tense muscles of his shoulders. “I know you don’t like the collaboration, but it won’t last forever and then you can go back to working on your solo projects.”
“I guess, but only if you come to all the recording sessions.”
I grinned triumphantly, even if it was only one victory in a long history of tedious arguments with my stubborn husband.
Mr. Kim was a very impatient man, and I was only somewhat surprised to see him standing by the main entrance when we finally arrived at the company. “Minho, you needed to be in the recording studio...” he trailed off, glancing at his wristwatch with a frown. “Ten minutes ago.”
My husband scoffed. “I don’t work on your time, Mr. Kim.”
“We had a late start,” I intervened. “I’ll make sure he gets there soon, Mr. Kim.”
The older man grunted, clearly displeased with Minho’s behavior. Thankfully, Minho had the decency to wait until he was well out of hearing range before further disparaging Mr. Kim’s character. “Sweetheart, I’m doing this for you,” Minho said, glaring over my shoulder at Mr. Kim’s retreating form. “But I don’t appreciate being told what to do.”
“That’s how he is,” I said. “I used to work for him as an assistant. He was always keeping everyone busy. Time wasted is money lost.”
Minho snickered at my poor imitation of Mr. Kim’s accent. “I’d kick his skinny ass if I was any less patient.”
I resisted the urge to laugh at Minho’s “restraint” because my husband was notorious for acting without consideration for the consequences. “Don’t be late for your first recording session.”
Minho pouted, looking down at me with wide, brown eyes. “You aren’t coming?”
“I’ll be there soon,” I promised him with a quick kiss. “I have something to do first.”
Minho was hesitant to leave me behind, but I offered him another encouraging kiss before retreating in the opposite direction to my office. It seemed that I would need reinforcements for this particular occasion, and I knew there were only two men who I could force to help me. As such, I found Jeongin and Seungmin loitering around their desks, passing back and forth what appeared to be a paper airplane. “I wasn’t aware I made any prior aviation requests.”
Jeongin let out a small whine, quickly disposing of the distraction in the bin next to his desk. “Sorry, Mrs. Lee.”
“Look, I’m actually in a hurry today and there’s too much going on for me to handle your hijinks,” I said, beckoning the interns to follow me into my office. “I have an important assignment for you.”
“Of course!” Seungmin agreed, walking ahead to grab the door. “Whatever you need, Mrs. Lee.”
“It’s about Minho.”
“Lee Minho?”
I turned around to glare at Jeongin. “Who else? Or did I receive notice of another client with the same name?”
Jeongin shook his head furiously. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lee. It’s just...”
“Minho has a history with interns,” Seungmin finished. “And maybe people in general.”
I laughed at their suggestions. “You’ll be with me the entire time, alright?”
They both visibly relaxed. “So we don’t have to help him?”
“Not directly,” I affirmed, moving around my desk. “Sit down, boys.” They both complied quickly, looking up at me with wide and innocent eyes that reminded me of my days in university. “Minho and 3racha have a recording session scheduled for this afternoon.”
Jeongin squealed from his chair. “The 3racha! I love their music! Oh, do you think it’d be too much to ask for an autograph?”
Upon seeing my glare, Jeongin quickly apologized. “Would it be too much to resist that urge, Mr. Yang?”
The younger boy sighed. “Sorry, Mrs. Lee.”
“Anyway,” I continued, ignoring their antics. “I have your assignments.”
Seungmin leaned forward expectantly. “Whatever you need, Mrs. Lee!”
“Your job,” I said, glancing back and forth between Jeongin and Seungmin, “is to make sure that Minho doesn’t piss off 3racha.”
“How?” Jeongin asked with sad eyes that almost forced me to change my mind on the spot.
“Just make sure you’re at their recording sessions with me,” I said. “Intervene whenever it seems like they might argue.”
“Intervene?”
I sighed impatiently. “I don’t know, improvise or something, but nothing bad needs to happen or Mr. Park will chew my ass out for disrupting a perfectly good collaboration opportunity.”
Seungmin and Jeongin looked at each other before sighing in defeat. “Does this mean we’ll be getting a raise?”
Here’s the thing about my job: despite Minho’s insistence, he was not the only client I represented. For example, I was also currently working on the debut of a new boy group who were incredibly talented and highly charismatic. They were also obedient and respectful, doing whatever they could to make my job easier even though I never asked them to sacrifice their free-time to practice their dancing and singing. When I worked with their leader, I couldn’t help but think that my job was considerably easier in comparison to the extra effort sometimes required to fix Minho’s mistakes, like the time he showed up an hour late for an interview because I forgot to set the alarm in our bedroom. Nonetheless, it always seemed like I was doing something extra to remedy Minho’s abrasive nature, which explains why I was prepared to sacrifice two of the company’s interns for the betterment of the future.
“Are you ready?” I asked the younger boys, lingering by the doorway to the studio.
Seungmin managed a nod while Jeongin murmured something that I decided to interpret as his approval. I knocked on the door expectantly, slightly relieved when Minho greeted me on the other side. “There you are,” he said. “We couldn’t possibly start without you.”
I rolled my eyes, but followed him inside with my interns hot on my heels. Minho retired to the couch, hunched over his laptop as he worked with a frown. Meanwhile, Chan, Jisung, and Changbin were busy adjusting the sound equipment while Mr. Kim watched his clients with eager eyes.
“Stay here,” I said to my nervous interns before joining Minho on the couch. “Do you actually plan to help them?”
“Believe it or not, Y/N,” Minho said. “I’m not actually procrastinating...just putting the finishing touches on the initial demo.”
He lifted one of the earbuds, offering it to me with a grin. “Are you trying to ask me something?”
Minho scoffed. “Will you please listen to my finished demo?”
I snatched the earbud from him in response, plugging my right ear and blocking out the lingering noise from the studio. The soft cadence of the piano started to play from the computer, shortly followed by Minho’s familiar breathy vocals that never ceased to amaze me. My husband was gifted with a profoundly gorgeous voice that could reach high notes that even I would struggle to obtain.
“My voice sounds angelic, wouldn’t you agree?” Minho asked.
“I see your ego has somehow managed to grow overnight.”
Minho chuckled, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “Don’t worry, I don't intend to sabotage the collaboration...I worked too hard on this demo.”
“I guess we can start then,” I said, stretching my arms high above my head as I waited for Minho to eject his flash drive. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Jisung approaching the two of us with a hesitant smile. “Good morning, Jisung,” I said, nudging Minho when he continued to remain silent.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said, holding up the flashdrive. “I prepared most of the song.”
“Really?” Jisung questioned, accepting the device from Minho. “I’d like to listen.”
Jisung returned to the sound booth and Chan accepted the flash drive with a brief glance over his shoulder at Minho. My husband remained silent while Chan opened the corresponding file on the computer and everyone listened with admirable concentration while Minho’s sweet music and tender voice filled the empty studio space.
“It’s good,” Changbin acknowledged at the end, even though his tone was somewhat reluctant.
“Good enough on its own,” Minho muttered and I shot him a warning look. “Fine,” he begrudged. “I have some ideas on the arrangements.”
“Sure,” Chan nodded, leaning back against the sound booth.
“We can split up the parts,” Minho continued. “I’ll handle the chorus.”
“I see,” Chan acknowledged. “I guess that means you want us to take the verses?”
“Logical, isn’t it?” Minho snarked. “I suppose you can add a rap verse or two since that’s your...thing.”
“I could try and sing as well,” Jisung offered. “We could harmonize over the final chorus.”
“You sing?” Minho snorted. “I thought you were a rap group.”
“Does that automatically disqualify us from being singers?” Changbin asked gruffly.
“Of course not!” I interfered, inserting myself effectively between Minho and Changbin. “I’ve heard some of your vocal work and it’s absolutely beautiful.”
Minho grumbled something indecipherable under his breath from behind me, but I ignored him and continued to do my absolute best to ensure the recording session progressed as smoothly as possible. “I hope you don’t mind, but my interns will also be joining us today for their field work.”
“That’s fine with me,” Chan spoke up from his position behind the sound station. “Should we start with finalizing arrangements?”
I ushered Minho forward whose expression revealed his reluctance. However, since he was on his best behavior, Minho started conversing with Chan and the others about arranging the vocals and rap verses for the song. In return, I sat down on the couch with my interns since I wasn’t skilled enough to comprehend their impressive knowledge of song production. I knew Mr. Kim was also quite unfamiliar with their vernacular, but the proud man continued to linger around the artists as if he could possibly offer something beneficial to the professionals.
I scoffed at the idea, turning to look at Seungmin who was busy playing some sort of application on his phone. “Is this your way of doing a good job?”
He jumped at the sound of my voice, closing out of his game before shoving his phone back into his pocket. “I’m paying attention!”
From my other side, Jeongin sighed happily. “Han has the best voice.”
I tried not to laugh at Jeongin’s starstruck expression, especially since Han Jisung was a very impressive vocalist, singing Minho’s lyrics like they had come from his own imagination. “He’s quite talented,” I agreed, studying my husband to try and determine if he also shared the same opinion.
But Minho was difficult to read when he was focused on his music. He never spoke during Han’s performance, waiting until the younger boy was finished before addressing him expectantly from the recording booth. Minho sighed, pressing the button to allow him to speak directly to Jisung. “It was alright for a rapper.”
I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall as Jisung glowered at Minho. “I’m not just a rapper.”
“The tone isn’t right,” Minho carried on as if Jisung hadn’t spoken, “we need tighter vocals.”
“My vocals are fine!” Jisung bristled and I shoved at Jeongin’s arm who immediately jumped into action. The younger intern stood up abruptly, the unexpected action commanding the attention of the entire studio...
“Who wants coffee!”
I sighed at his dramatics, but it was a decent distraction. “Why not?” Chan asked, reclining back in his chair. “It seems like we have a lot of work to do.”
Sadly, truer words had never been spoken.
Graciously, Minho managed to keep his more radical opinions to himself for the remainder of our scheduled recording sessions with 3racha. Of course, my husband always had his ways of insinuating an insult through carefully chosen words. Nonetheless, I think all parties involved knew it would be to everyone’s benefit if we finished recording the new song without arguing about Minho’s dismissive comments.
In any case, Mr. Park was thrilled with the final result, inviting me and Mr. Kim to his office after listening to the finished product. “This is exactly what I envisioned,” he said with a bright smile. “The fans will love this!”
“It was a process, sir,” I admitted, sheepishly offering Mr. Kim what I hoped was a sincere apology.
“I’ve scheduled a shooting day for the music video,” Mr. Park said. “I have the perfect concept for the song!”
“I’m sure it’s brilliant, sir,” Mr. Kim added.
“Lee Felix and Hwang Hyunjin have agreed to choreograph the track,” Mr. Park said. “They have some very interesting ideas for your clients.”
It was only then when I remembered that Minho liked to arrange his own dances, but since we were already this far into the collaboration, he might reluctantly agree once more. “We’ll be there,” I reassured my boss.
Unfortunately, I knew it would be a horrible shooting day when I walked outside with Minho and saw a gray sky and light misting of rain. “This is already a mess,” I said, dragging my still sleepy husband to the car.
“How long will this take?” Minho grumbled.
“If you’re willing to cooperate,” I said, fixing him with a stern glance, “then I’d imagine we can finish by this evening.”
Minho yawned. “I hate music video shoots.”
“You poor thing,” I sighed. “Whenever you finally decide to become a director, then I’m certain you’ll insist on controlling that aspect of music production as well.”
“I feel like you understand my vision, Y/N,” Minho said with an airy laugh. “I’m too tired to argue today.”
I exhaled a sigh of relief, hoping that he was being honest. “Mr. Park invited the company’s best choreographers. Please don’t insist on doing your own performance.”
“As long as they won’t have me doing anything less than artistic,” Minho said. “We should be fine.”
I chose not to take my husband’s words to heart as we drove to the shooting sight together in silence. It had started to steadily rain the longer we drove, and I had a feeling that the sky itself was foreshadowing the impending breakdown threatening to destroy all the progress we made. But I was also an optimist, and Minho was usually the least abrasive when it came to shooting music videos.
I parked my car next to the company’s van, watching a few regular staff members unload equipment from the back. “Y/N, it’s not too late for us to drive to that adorable little breakfast restaurant we like so much,” Minho reminded me.
“Shoot the video and I’ll treat you to a gourmet dinner,” I said, reaching across the console to squeeze my husband’s hand.
He was still reluctant, but I was proud when he reached into the backseat for our umbrella. We stood close together, Minho’s hand firm around my waist. In the distance, I easily found Mr. Kim talking with his clients as they fought to stay dry under one of the company’s tents.
Mr. Kim saw me first, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “Y/N, you’ve decided to keep us waiting again.”
“Blame it on the weather,” I said, closing the umbrella as Minho wandered over to talk with one of the directors.
“Oh! You mean the rain pushing us into a delay? I guess I didn’t notice,” Mr. Kim returned, rolling his eyes as he led me further into the crowd of people. I faintly recognized the younger men dressed in gorgeous outfits, recalling their appearance in various music videos from some of the company’s most distinguished artists. “Y/N,” Mr. Kim smiled. “I’d like you to meet Lee Felix and Hwang Hyunjin. They have some excellent suggestions for the music video.”
“The honor is mine,” I said, bowing respectfully to Felix and Hyunjin. “Minho is eager to work with you.”
Felix smirked. “You don’t have to lie to us, Mrs. Lee. We know your husband prefers to work alone.”
“Ah,” I murmured. “His reputation precedes him.”
“I hope he can appreciate our efforts,” Hyunjin added. “Felix and I have been working on some new choreography for the track.”
“He’s being compliant today,” I said. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate everything you’ve done.”
“There isn’t much of a choice,” Mr. Kim said, startling when the director attempted to speak over the white-noise of the tent’s occupants.
“Attention! We’re starting inside the school for the first scene.”
I met Minho’s eyes over the crowd of moving staff, nodding for him to obey the director’s command. “What’s the concept, Mr. Kim?”
“Friends-to-lovers?” Mr. Kim shrugged. “Your pretty husband is the main character, which I’m sure will please him greatly.”
“It’s a high school setting?”
“Yes, and he has a crush on a school girl,” Mr. Kim said. “You should know this very well, Mrs. Lee, didn’t he seduce you in the same way?”
I ignored his jab. “And 3racha?”
“Protective friends, I guess,” Mr. Kim said. “The director assured me that it wouldn’t take long to film.”
“I hope not,” I said. “The less Minho has to be here, the better.”
“Cut!” the director growled. “Mr. Lee, this is not the same choreography that we discussed with Felix and Hyunjin.”
“I tried to improvise,” my husband defended himself.
There were less than two scenes left to film and I was very close to dragging Minho away from the film shooting and knocking some sense into him. “Follow the script we discussed,” the director said. “Let’s take five.”
Chan glared at Minho as he snatched a bottle of water from the snack table. “Is it too much to ask you to cooperate, Minho?”
My husband ignored Chan, pausing in front of me to bring his forehead against mine. “I’m tired.”
I shot Chan an apologetic smile as I smoothed my hands through Minho’s hair. “I’m sorry.”
He pulled back to look at Chan who was engrossed in conversation with Jisung and Changbin. “He’s impossible to work with.”
“What’s wrong now?” I sighed, feeling another impending headache courtesy of Minho’s behavior.
“I hate Bang Chan,” Minho said. “He keeps looking at your ass.”
“Who cares?” I nearly shouted, attracting the attention of a few camera workers. “Minho, the shooting is almost over. Please, for the sake of my mental sanity, can you try to listen to the director?”
Minho’s eyes betrayed his exhaustion. “I want greasy food for dinner and a cheesy movie when I get home.”
I laughed, amused by Minho’s behavior. “Whatever you want.”
“Minho!” the director yelled. “We need you back on set.”
Minho closed his eyes and sighed. “He’s lucky I’m a professional.”
I was lingering by the snack table, picking my way through the bowl of skittles because I only liked the red kind, when I heard the unexpected sound of yelling from somewhere inside the school. My husband’s voice was easy to detect about the noise, and I stuffed a handful of candies into my mouth before deciding to investigate. As much as I’d like to imagine that the yelling was a part of the music video, common sense told me that my husband had likely gotten into another confrontation with the director.
However, the last thing I expected to see was Minho marching through the open doors of the school with Chan following him with clear annoyance. “I’m telling you it’s not good enough,” Chan said, frowning when Minho stopped by my side.
“I don’t want to film it again,” Minho said. “Besides, your reaction was genuine. The best ‘acting’ you’ve done all day.”
“What’s going on?” I demanded.
“Nothing,” Minho said, glaring at Chan as he reached for my hand. “The collaboration required a song and we have a finished copy and a music video. I’ve done my part, so if you’ll kindly excuse my wife and I...”
Chan shook his head. “Do whatever you want, Minho. I don’t care anymore.... But the sad part in all of this is how much I was sincerely excited to work with you, despite your reputation.”
Minho seemed at a loss for words, glancing back and forth between me and Chan. “I can’t share your sentiment, Chan,” he finally said. “I think it’s best if we make this a one time thing.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Chan agreed with a disappointed sigh.
I could only helplessly stand aside as the two bickered, wondering if it was too late to formally retire.
Sunday was the only day of the week where I could actually enjoy myself without having to worry about the company or the never-ending demands of my clients, with the exception of my husband. “Y/N,” Minho slurred from next to me in our bed.
I made a vague noise of recognition, pulling the blankets closer to my chin because it was too cold in the apartment. “What?”
“Your phone is vibrating,” Minho said, and I managed to crane my head back just enough to realize that he was right.
I reached out my hand to feel for the stupid thing on the nightstand, pulling it close enough to read the message displayed across the screen:
From Mr. Kim: Mr. Park planned some sort of elaborate interview/performance for the new collaboration. Make sure Minho is at the company tomorrow by noon.
“Who is it?” Minho asked, using one arm to drag me closer to his welcoming heat.
“Mr. Kim,” I murmured in return.
“Why?” Minho growled.
“Apparently, you have an interview with 3racha tomorrow. Mr. Park wants a live performance for the debut of the collaboration.”
“I thought I was done with them,” Minho said with a tone that suggested he was anything but pleased with the news.
“It’s just one performance,” I argued. “And you promised me that you would finish all your responsibilities.”
“You keep adding more things,” Minho gruffed.
I smirked, rolling onto my side to face my husband. “I think it’s a great idea to let the fans hear it live on the same day it starts streaming.”
“Can’t they just play the recording of my parts?”
“It won’t be the same,” I said, leaning in closer to brush my lips across the seam of his pout. “I’ll be the loudest fan screaming your name from the back.”
He chuckled, allowing one hand to pull me in closer. “Aren’t you always my biggest fan?”
“Lee Know, will you sign my albums?”
“You’re a good negotiator, sweetheart,” he said, diving in for a passionate kiss that reminded me of when we first started dating and Minho was always eager to shower me with affection.
“Minho,” I gasped, barely restraining a moan when he suddenly moved between my thighs.
“I’m sorry I’ve made things difficult,” he said, pressing sweet kisses to the skin around my calves. Tender moments like this reminded me of the person I fell in love with, slowly learning that there was more to Minho than his arrogant stage persona.
“Please,” I whispered, helping him remove my sweatpants before weaving my fingers through his hair.
“Anything for you,” Minho said, breath hot against my sensitive skin. He stuck out his tongue, tasting the heat between my legs with languid strokes that promised the best wake-up call to start the day. Not that Minho and I did anything substantial on Sundays since we preferred to watch movies and indulge in the glorious high of junk food.
More often than not, we always ended up in this position with my husband doing his best to please me. And I had no room to complain because Minho was awfully talented with his tongue, and he had me writhing against the mattress like a complete mess. “You’re too good at this,” I complained halfheartedly.
His nails dug into my hips, holding me in place while he continued to drive me over the edge. “Are you going to cum for me?”
I always broke at his husky tone, lying spent in my post-orgasmic haze as Minho feathered light kisses across my legs. In moments like this, it was impossible to think about the negative aspects of working for the company, or the drama of the collaboration. Besides, it was only one more day and Minho never broke his promises.
I found a strange, but calming quality to pacing back and forth when I came across a problem that was incredibly difficult to solve. For example, arriving at the office early to prepare last minute forms while fully expecting my husband to show up to his scheduled interview and performance without my intervention. Yet, despite my expectations, I was currently backstage with Mr. Kim and his clients while we listened to a crowd of eager fans waiting to hear the new collaboration. Unfortunately, my husband was nowhere to be seen, and that meant our schedule was in jeopardy.
“Where’s Minho?” Mr. Kim nearly screeched, raking his hands through his balding hair while remaining heavily engrossed in his phone screen.
The performance was supposed to start ten minutes ago and the fans were clearly confused. A distinct murmuring of intermingled voices echoing throughout the soundless concert hall. “Y/N?”
I turned around, using every last ounce of strength I could muster to meet Chan’s gaze. “I don’t know where he is.”
“Is that so?” Chan asked, and the anger in his eyes was enough to nearly give me a premature heart attack.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, desperately ringing Minho’s number once again only to be met by the familiar greeting of his voicemail inbox.
“I knew that bastard would ruin this,” Changbin said. “He was determined from the start to see this fail.”
“It was one performance,” Jisung bemoaned, and I could only feel absolutely miserable listening to their shared complaints. But, in the words of my formidable boss, the show must go on and I couldn’t bear to disappoint the eager fans waiting to hear the song they loved.
Speaking of which, I reached out a hand to support myself against the wall when I saw Mr. Park walk backstage with his assistants. Our eyes met from across the room. “Mr. Park,” I managed, but my throat was suddenly dry despite the three empty bottles of water I had consumed.
“Y/N,” Mr. Park sighed, eliminating the distance between us. “Tell them to have 3racha perform without Minho. Our phone conversation today has certainly changed my mind about the viability of his collaboration.”
“You talked to him?” I growled, feeling nothing short of betrayed since my husband had repeatedly ignored my phone calls.
“We’ve reached an impasse,” Mr. Park explained solemnly. “Please tell Mr. Kim about the change.”
“But sir!” I tried to protest because I was extremely confused and had no idea what we needed to tell the fans.
However, Mr. Park was already focused on a new task and instead of delaying the inevitable, I found Mr. Kim talking urgently to a stage hand next to the curtain. “Introduce 3racha,” I said. “Tell them that Minho had an unexpected emergency.”
Mr. Kim, if it was even possible, grew even redder to the point where I hesitated to call for help backstage. “This is an outrage!” he finally growled, crowding me against the wall. “If this goes wrong, then I hope you know that it’s entirely your husband’s fault and his mistakes reflect poorly on your performance.
I bowed my head, because I knew that part of the blame rested on my shoulders as Minho’s manager, especially in regard to the mysterious phone call he shared with Mr. Park. In the meantime, I could hear the crowd cheer for the arrival of 3racha who performed to the best of their ability without my husband. Still, it broke my heart to know that he had somehow been excused from the performance after promising to complete the remainder of his responsibilities.
But I still wanted to give Minho the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps something happened when I left for the company and he was forced to call Mr. Park? Still, my optimism didn’t stop my hands from shaking from my grip around the steering wheel, pulling into my usual parking spot with a heavy sigh. Before our marriage, there were plenty of times when Minho tested my patience. For example, on multiple occasions I had come very close to handing in my request to have him transferred to someone else because he was sometimes impossible to handle. However, each time I would threaten to leave, Minho always convinced me to stay, turning his entire attitude around and doing his best to make up for his mistakes. He was usually successful, but today’s mishap forced me to question whether or not he was capable of recovering from this unexpected slight. And it wouldn’t just jeopardize my relationship with him as his manager, but also the close intimacy I shared with him as his wife.
I paused at the door to our apartment, trying to listen for any sound of movement from inside. “He’ll have a good excuse,” I attempted to justify, unlocking the door before dragging my feet into the entryway. “Minho?” I called out, greeting nothing but silence before I walked downstairs to his studio where Minho often liked to escape when he wanted to be alone.
I was surprised to see him inside, working on his computer as if today was just another ordinary session. “Minho,” I snapped, opening the door without bothering to knock. “We need to talk.”
Minho sighed, glancing away from his computer screen. “I know Mr. Park cancelled my performance.”
“Yeah? And you don’t think that there’s something wrong!”
“Y/N, don’t worry about the interview,” he replied. “Park called me earlier and told me he would take care of everything.”
I slowly exhaled. “I know he called you, but I don’t understand why it happened.”
“He said it wouldn’t be the last time I was involved with marketing,” Minho continued. “I told him I was under the impression that today would be the last performance. We argued for a while and he told me that I shouldn’t bother showing up today if I wasn’t committed to the project.”
I blinked twice, trying to process his words. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, barely restraining the anger. “I called you several times before Mr. Park showed up backstage.”
“I knew you’d be disappointed,” Minho said with a vulnerable tone I could hardly tolerate. “It’s not a big deal. Park knows about everything, and tomorrow we can forget about the collaboration.”
He looked at me like he was expecting me to just agree with him, but I was beyond words. Instead, I turned my back to him and retreated upstairs to our bedroom. I had fought with my husband before, but this was an entirely new level of anger and frustration.
I could hear Minho following me, but I refused to acknowledge his attempts to gain my attention. “You’re an asshole sometimes,” I growled, storming around the bedroom to find a spare set of sheets in the closet. “Let me know when you’re done being the world’s biggest jerk.”
“What are you doing?” Minho asked, blocking my path to the doorway. “We’re not done talking about this if you’re upset.”
“Yeah? Well, I’m done and you don’t always get your way,” I snapped, pushing past my husband into the living room.
“Y/N,” Minho said, reaching for my arm despite my attempts to ignore him. “I’m sorry.”
“No you aren’t,” I said, spinning around on my heel to confront him. “If you were sorry, then you’d try to make things right, but your ego has grown to such a monumental size that you can’t even accept the added weight of another mistake.”
“What are you saying?”
“You can’t make this right,” I said, tears obscuring the vision of my husband. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, expression transforming completely when he realized I was truly on the verge of a breakdown. “You know I’m not mad at you! Park knows everything, he was the one who told me not to show up!”
“It doesn’t matter,” I cried. “I asked you to do something that’s surprisingly simple for most people. Not because I wanted to punish you, but because I saw an opportunity to help Lee Know! But after the stunt you pulled today, I don’t think I’d bother helping you anymore.”
The single tear that fell from Minho’s eye would have normally been enough for me to recognize his guilt, but I wasn’t in the mood to fall back into the tedious cycle of forgiving him only to deal with another mishap in the future. “Y/N,” he said softly. “Please don’t leave me.”
I shook my head. “I need some time to think about things.”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a desperate tone. “We should talk about this, I can make it better!”
“Just let me sleep,” I begged him and he broke even more, releasing my hand with an uncharacteristic whine.
I tossed my blanket onto the couch, attempting to find a comfortable position on the leather. It was a far cry from the mattress in our bedroom, but I desperately needed space away from Minho. For now, I didn’t want to deal with the reality of our situation, which is why I was more than willing to drown myself in the familiar darkness of sleep.
The smell of bacon was surprisingly overwhelming when I woke up the next morning with lower back pain. I groaned, attempting to sit up despite the near constant throbbing. Apparently, leather sofas were built for style instead of comfort.
I opened my eyes slowly, feeling my heart jump inside my chest when I saw Minho holding a plate in my direction. “Y/N, are you okay?”
I swiped a hand across my face, remembering my argument with Minho from the previous evening. “I’m fine.”
“You should eat,” he insisted so I accepted the plate from him, shaking my head when I realized the toast was burnt, but Minho had never been a great cook. “I want to talk about last night,” Minho said. “Because you’re obviously hurt and that’s the last thing I wanted.”
“What did you expect?” I asked. “You weren’t there for the performance, you ignored my calls, and then my boss tells me that one of his artists decided he was done promoting his new single?”
Minho winced at my tone. “It’s all my fault because I decided to take everything personally. He forced me to do the collaboration when I didn’t want to participate, and it felt like he was taunting me...like I had no control over my music and he could do whatever he wanted.”
“He can, Minho,” I said. “You signed a contract with the company.”
“I know,” he sighed. “I keep forgetting that part, and it’s really stupid how much I let it affect me, but I hate it when things are out of my control.”
“But that’s no reason to take it on the people who were only trying to do their job,” I snapped. “Or refuse to tell your own wife!”
“I understand,” Minho nodded. “I was too caught up in my problems to realize that everyone was suffering because of my decisions.”
“What are you going to do about it?” I asked, holding my breath because I was dreading his answer.
“I’ll apologize to them,” Minho said, hanging his head in shame. “I need you to know that I’m sorry for everything.”
My heart broke at the sorrowful expression he wore, completely uncharacteristic of my husband...as was his decision to apologize since I halfway expected Minho to threaten his leave from the company. However, I also sometimes forgot that Minho was more than the way he acted around other people, and his sincerity was perfectly evident for me to recognize. “I know you are, but sometimes you do things without thinking about the consequences.”
“I’m aware,” he chuckled. “And I usually don’t really care, but that’s selfish...especially when it hurts you.”
“It is selfish,” I agreed. “How do I know you won’t do this again in the future?”
“Because I’ll remind myself of this moment,” he said. “I’ll remember what happened last night and do whatever I can to prevent it from happening again.”
I was stunned by his determination. “Are you really going to apologize to everyone?”
“I am,” he nodded. “Of course, your forgiveness matters the most.”
I took a deep breath, processing his words and the steady way he continued to hold my gaze. “You know I forgive you.”
“Thank you,” he said quietly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss against my lips. “I need you more than anything else in the world.”
My heart warmed at his declaration. “I wonder what everyone at the company would think if they saw how cheesy you are.”
“Are you going to tell on me?”
“Not as long as you behave,” I returned, laughing at the way he held me tighter, feeling nothing short of safe and secure in his familiar embrace.
Mr. Kim was surprisingly calm when I requested a meeting between our clients. In fact, I was shocked that he even accommodated my request considering our bad relations. However, I recognized an opening, walking down the hallway next to Minho who was clearly nervous as he hugged the bottle of champagne we brought as an apology gift.
“Good morning, Y/N,” Mr. Kim greeted us upon our arrival, sparing Minho a grimace before inviting us inside the studio.
Chan and Jisung were sitting together on the couch, glancing up only when Minho paused in front of them. Meanwhile, Changbin stood against the wall, watching my husband with narrowed eyes. Minho held tightly to the bottle of champagne in his hands, glancing between the three men who all wore similar expressions of disdain. “I’m sorry for the interview,” he said. “It was really selfish and immature.”
Chan arched one eyebrow, glancing between me and Minho. “Really?”
I quietly offered Minho a small push against his lower back, encouraging him to continue. “I rehearsed this,” Minho chuckled, “but it’s hard to swallow my pride.”
“Take your time,” I whispered to him softly.
“Well, let me start by saying that I was wrong about the whole collaboration thing,” he said. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and you guys did everything to help us succeed.”
Changbin scoffed. “You certainly made it more difficult.”
Jisung nodded furiously in agreement. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this much trouble with promotion.”
“I know,” Minho agreed. “I was just upset because I have this stupid thing with Park and he knows that I have...problems working with other people.”
“That’s an understatement,” Changbin said, glowering at my husband with obvious disapproval.
“Honestly,” Minho said, swallowing hard. “The song is one of my favorites. I wouldn’t mind collaborating again in the future.”
“Well-” Jising broke off, staring at Mino with something akin to shock. “Huh?”
Chan frowned. “You really made us look bad on stage.”
“That wasn’t my intention,” Minho sighed. “I was being an enormous jerk, trying to stick it to the man or something ridiculous and it played out better in my head.”
I reached out a comforting hand, squeezing Minho’s shoulder for support. “I think he knows his decision was wrong.”
Minho nodded. “You might be upset with me and I understand. I’m sorry for everything that happened, and if you decide I don’t deserve to be taken seriously, then I won’t blame you.”
Minho ended his speech with a nervous cough, thrusting out the bottle of champagne in Jisung’s direction who accepted the bottle hesitantly. “Minho,” Chan said, closing his laptop with a sigh. “I know about your history when it comes to working with other artists.”
“It’s not exactly a glowing resume,” Minho admitted.
“No, but that’s the only reason why I know that your apology was sincere,” Chan said. “If you’re really serious, then I think we can move past this.”
Changbin nodded his agreement. “Mr. Park also explained some of the...politics behind the interview fiasco.”
“I guess it’s hard for you,” Chan shrugged. “I’m glad you came here to make things right.”
“And the champagne is nice,” Jisung added quickly to which Minho managed a smile.
“I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”
“Well, if you were serious about collaborating again, we can start with line distributions,” Changbin said, leaning in with a smirk. “I want to sing next time.”
Minho laughed, nodding enthusiastically. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“In that case, we have cause for celebration,” Jisung cheered. “Mr. Kim, do we have spare glasses?”
In the meantime, I took a step back to allow the four men space to talk together, distributing several glasses of champagne before laughing at Jisung’s failed attempt not to spill anything on the carpet. It was certainly admirable, and I found myself simply watching Minho from across the room. This was nothing short of substantial progress, and I cherished the moment because it promised very good things for the future.
And at one point, Minho snuck away from his new collaborators to join me at the sound booth. “I love you,” he whispered. “I’m glad you’ve always been at my side.”
I reached out for his hand, watching Chan, Changbin, and Jisung hold up their champagne glasses in our direction. “You know? I’m really excited about your next project.”
Minho grinned, leaning his forehead against mine. “I think I could get used to this...as long as you’ll be there.”
I sighed happily, closing my eyes to remember this moment. “That will never change.”
#stray kids#skz#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#stray kids requests#stray kids imagines#stray kids oneshot#stray kids scenarios#skz oneshot#stray kids lee know#skz lee know#lee minho#lee know fanfic#lee know smut#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids minho#stray kids minho fanfic
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By Chance Chapter 12
A misunderstanding gone viral puts you on BTS’s radar, which leads to a series of events that finally culminate with you meeting them for the first time.
✚ Pairing: Sub!BTS/Female Reader ✚ Word Count: 5.4K ✚ Rating: M ✚ Warnings: None. ✚ A/N: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Dialogues spoken in Korean when English is also being spoken will be bolded and italicized. Read on AO3 / Chapters 1-4 / Chapters 5-8 / Chapters 9-10 / Chapter 11
The Meeting: Part 2
Thanks to some good, old fashioned bribing with tickets to the premiere of your next movie, you managed to get your hand on a couple of the pictures from BTS's SNL shoot, and you were able to have your assistant get you a custom made card for them. It's a pretty simple design, but you think that makes it look just perfect; it's one of their group photos, with 'HAPPY SNL DEBUT DAY' written at the bottom. It's a cute, well-made card that they can open to see what you've written inside— the problem only being that you don't know what to write just yet.
As you delete yet another sentence you've written on your notes because it doesn't feel right— this has been going on for at least half an hour— an incoming call from your assistant suddenly startles you.
"Fuck." You say, clutching your chest before answering it. "Hey, what's up?"
"Hey, I'm right next in line at the flower shop— do you want me to give the phone to the florist when it's my turn?"
"Yeah, please do. I'll just wait on the line. Thank you!"
"Okay, no problem." She says, while you distract yourself by trying to come up with a nice, not too personal message to write to the boys.
They were absolute sweethearts when you met them, much more so than you thought they were going to be, not to mention much more breathtakingly beautiful in person than on screen— and that truly is saying something. It was a bit hard to keep yourself together while they were around you because of how stunning they looked, and when they told you that Jungkook and Jimin were actually your fans you almost lost it. Jungkook was especially adorable— he got so shy around you that it made you want to hug him and tell him it was okay, but you knew that would've been an invasion of his personal space you doubt he would've welcomed.
You almost made a fool of yourself when they asked you what your favorite video of theirs was; you answered Blood, Sweat and Tears so quickly that you were sure they would realize why it was your favorite. You ended up covering it up by saying it was because of how artistic it was— which is not a lie per se, only a partial truth— and they seemed to fully believe you. You couldn't go ahead tell them the true reason was because seeing them hanging from swings, being tied up and blindfolded while kneeling or wrapping their hands around their own throats makes you want to go wild— because they would've rightfully run for the hills.
So, because of how lovely and sweet they were, you want to give them something that might ease their nerves even if it's just a little bit. You know what it feels like to be nervous on SNL for the first time as a host— but they are the first South Korean band to ever perform there and you can't imagine how much pressure they must be feeling over that.
Since you don't know them that well, you went for the safest bet you could think of: a nice arrangement of flowers. You would've loved to go into the shop yourself, but if word got out that you were in a flower shop buying a arrangement with 7 different types of flowers, it'd be only a matter of time before someone put two and two together and fucked up your gift by telling some news outlet desperate for any kind of celeb gossip.
"Hi, sir." You hear your assistant say. "Would you mind speaking with my boss over the phone? She couldn't come here but she wanted to order an arrangement herself—"
"Sure, no problem." You hear a male voice say, a bit further away and muffled. "Hello?" Now his voice is perfectly clear.
"Hi! Thanks for accepting the call."
"No problem, ma'am. What can I help you with?"
"Okay, I wanted to order an arrangement that I need to be ready by... let's say Saturday at noon—"
"Uh, that's very soon—" He says, but you interrupt him because you knew this was coming. The flower shop is quite famous— and that fame is well earned because their work is stunning— but you know from someone that it's not impossible to get them delivered in a couple days, if you're willing to pay the price. Which you are. That's the reason you sent your assistant— so she would try to persuade him if in case you couldn't yourself through the phone and to avoid the possibility of him hanging up on you before hearing you out.
"I know— but I'll pay whatever it costs to get it by this Saturday."
"It's going to be a bit expensive, ma'am—"
"I know." You repeat. "Money won't be an issue."
"Uhhh... okay, then." He says. "What kind of arrangement do you have in mind?"
"I need a big arrangement that must have 7 different types of flowers— and I need it to be noticeable that they are 7 and they're different, and they all need to be given the same importance. I don't want any sticking out more than the others."
"Right, do you have any type of flowers in mind?"
"No because I don't really know anything about flowers— except that they have meanings. It would be perfect if you choose flowers that symbolized greatness, success, longevity, beauty, elegance— that type of things."
"Got it. Any particular color combinations, maybe warmer colors or...?"
"Oh, yes. I want the color you notice first to be pink. Maybe different types of pink? And if you need to add other colors, they should be pastels. But pink has to be the main color. I just want it to look really beautiful. I want the people getting it to feel valued when they see it."
"That I can do, ma'am. Anything else?"
"No, that's all. Thank you so much, my assistant will take care of the payment."
"My pleasure."
"Hi, boss." Your assistant says, always careful to not say your name out loud, just in case. "I got it from here."
"Oh, wait! Did you get the vase already?" You almost forgot to ask.
"Yes. I picked it up before coming here. It looks just like you wanted it. I'll text you a picture later."
"Thank you! See you soon!"
You also had her order a custom made glass vase inspired on the cover of their latest album, but you don't know yet if it's going to look good or clash with the arrangement the florist will make for you. If it doesn't look good you'll just discard the idea, even though you really hope it does. You want them to know you just didn't ask for a generic arrangement of flowers, you want them to be able to tell that you put some thought into this so they know they're appreciated. You know a thing or two about feeling like an outsider, and you also know the relief you can get from knowing that someone from the other side is on yours too, supporting you.
When you hang up, you suddenly have an idea for what you want to write. When you went down a rabbit hole of BTS compilation videos that ended up with you laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and there were tears streaming down your face— who would've thought that the same guys who look like sin personified on stage and music videos were so damn goofy and hilarious?— you noticed there was a word they kept saying, but you forgot to search what it meant.
You open your browser and search 'what does fighting mean in kpop', because even though you're pretty sure that based on the context they used it you understood its meaning correctly, it still doesn't hurt to make sure.
"... a Korean word of support or encouragement. It is frequently used in sports or whenever a challenge such as a difficult test or unpleasant assignment is met. It derives from a Konglish borrowing of the English word "Fighting!"
You were correct.
화이팅— you will definitely use that. You start typing again, and for the first time you actually feel like what you wrote is appropriate for the situation.
You just hope the boys will actually like it, instead of thinking it's too much or that you crossed a line.
Much to Jungkook and Jimin's displeasure— although, to be fair, after meeting you the rest of them wouldn't have minded to spend more time with you either— they had to wait until Saturday before they could see you again. Sadly, even though the day is already upon them, they're now too focused on being completely prepared to really think about anything else. That's the reason why they hoped to meet with you again before the day of the episode; they hoped to interact with you one more time without having to worry so much about giving their best for their performances just yet.
To tell the truth, apart from Jimin and Jungkook who already were very aware they liked you and were really looking forward to meet you, the rest of them hadn't really had any set expectations when it came to you meeting them. Namjoon had been worried about Jin maybe getting flustered— which he didn't because he didn't really talk to you at all to make sure that didn't happen— and Yoongi was hoping to see Jin getting flustered, but he just settled for enjoying how shy and nervous Jimin and Jungkook got when you paid attention to them. What Hoseok loved the most was how quickly you made them feel at ease with you— like you'd known each other for a long time. Taehyung loved that too— and he also loved that you shared your experience with them to make them feel better. It really helped him feel a bit less nervous about their performance.
They had known you'd be nice— how could they think otherwise with Jungkook constantly reminding them about your kind personality— but they felt they weren't really prepared for how easy it was to be around you, even if there were embarrassing moments for several of them. Embarrassment was unavoidable, but any sort of awkwardness was nonexistent. You made them feel comfortable and welcome immediately, and they really appreciated it and were thankful for that.
After you shot the promos you had to leave and gave them all a hug goodbye, which was more than Jungkook ever thought he was going to get. And when you told them you were dying to see them perform live on Saturday, Jungkook felt like he was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. You kept telling them all how amazing and talented they were, and at that point they were all blushing and feeling embarrassed at your praises, not knowing what else to do but saying thank you as you rambled on about how incredible their choreographies and voices were. Namjoon got so shy when you told him his English was incredible that he could barely say another word after that.
When you finally left and they returned to their dressing room, Jungkook had to sit down to process everything that had just happened. He met you, you hugged him twice and to top it all you said they were great and told them how much you loved their songs and music videos.
Both him and Jimin got a good amount of teasing from the others on their way back to the hotel because of how flustered they'd gotten when you talked to them— Yoongi said he thought Jungkook was going to faint when you told him to sit next to you and Hoseok laughed at how charming Jimin tried to be and how immediately shy he got by you just talking to him.
"Namjoon-Hyung got shy too when she said his English was good!" Jimin had blurted out, trying to divert the teasing to someone else while the others laughed.
"Why are you dragging me into this? I didn't say anything!" Namjoon had complained, blushing deeply.
The teasing went on through the rest of the day, and by the time they had to go to bed, Jungkook started daydreaming about the possibility of you and all of them becoming actual friends. After getting to spend time with you and because of how nice you were, it slowly stopped feeling like something unreachable.
Now, the day of the show is finally here, and even though their performances are at the forefront of their minds, knowing that they'll get to see you again is also something that makes them feel excited. Some more so than others, but they're all excited nonetheless.
When they arrive to the studio the feeling of anticipation starts to truly settle in, and with it nervousness and excitement as well. They are well prepared— they've rehearsed the songs over and over again— but the possibility of something going wrong and affecting the performance negatively is always a worry.
Namjoon walks into the room first, but he suddenly stops his movements when he catches sight of what's on the table.
"What? What's this?" He asks, shocked, looking around their staff for answers. "Who left this here?"
There's a beautiful, huge flower arrangement waiting for them.
"Wooooow." Taehyung says right behind him. "Is this from the SNL people? It's so pretty." He smells the flowers, closing his eyes as he enjoys their lovely perfume. Someone from their staff answers that someone from the SNL crew left it a little while ago without saying anything else.
The rest walk in and marvel at the arrangement as well, but it's Hoseok who finally realizes there's actually an envelope positioned between the flowers.
"Oh, guys, I think there's a card." He opens the envelope and smiles at the image on the card, showing it to the others."Cute."
"Who is it from, Hyung?" Jimin asks, going to smell the flowers as well while Taehyung takes a picture of them.
"It's from [Y/N]-Noona!" Jungkook suddenly exclaims, reading over Hoseok's shoulder.
"She wrote a message." Hoseok says, handing it to Namjoon, who quickly reads it and translates it for the rest of them.
It's normal to be nervous, but remember you're here for a reason: You already made it. Don't worry, you're gonna kill it! 화이팅! [Y/N]
"She wrote 'fighting' in Korean, that's so thoughtful of her." He says with a smile, handing the card to Jimin when he asks for it.
"Ah, [Y/N]-Noona is so nice." Taehyung says as he reads the card with Jimin, who nods in agreement.
"Ah, wait—" Yoongi suddenly mumbles, crouching down slightly to take a better look. "The vase looks like the cover of our album."
"What, really?" Jin says, resting his hands on Yoongi's shoulders and crouching as well. "Oh wow, it does." In the middle of the soft pink of the glass vase, they can see the distinct heart shape of their album cover art. "This looks very expensive." He finally adds, standing upright again.
"Hyung, we don't have anything like this for her!" Jungkook suddenly says, almost panicking.
You got them this incredibly thoughtful gift, and he worries that you might feel they are ungrateful because they didn't get anything for you. How did it not occur to them to get you a flower bouquet as well? It's such a common thing to give, even if it still would've been a smaller gift than the one you gave them. It would've been something, at least.
"Well, we've got the album to give her." Namjoon says, scratching the back of his head. Until Jungkook mentioned it, he hadn't really considered that they might look rude for not getting you something like this as well.
"Don't be silly, she obviously didn't get us this because she was waiting for something in return." Yoongi interrupts them before Jungkook starts to have a meltdown. "You can tell she's not the kind of person who'd do something like that."
"He's right." Hoseok agrees. "I think she just wanted us to feel welcome."
"I think so too." Jimin says, with Taehyung nodding at his side. Jin and Namjoon also agree, and Jungkook can't really argue against that. You're too kind to be bothered by something like that and you definitely wouldn't get them something because you wanted something from them. You did this because you wanted to, and that's it.
When they start getting dressed for their Boy With Luv performance, Jungkook can't help himself and keeps glancing at the TV on the wall to check if you're there already, even if he knows the show hasn't even started yet. In your first SNL episode you were hilarious, and he knows this time will be no different.
Once you do appear, Jungkook's eyes are firmly glued to the screen. He's vaguely aware a stylist is working on him, but he's just letting her do whatever she needs while enjoying your monologue. The rest of the boys end up watching it as well, even though they don't all understand what you're saying on the same level. Namjoon, however, is laughing so hard he's almost crying.
"Oh my god, she's hilarious." He says, clutching his stomach. Jungkook had mentioned more than once that you were funny, but he had no idea you were this funny. The way you deliver every line you're saying makes it just perfect. As far as he knows you're not a comedic actor, but looking at you so at ease standing there, he feels like you definitely could be.
Jungkook grins at him, nodding in agreement.
After that, the there's not much more to do than practice the little details and wait for the time of the performance to come.
When you were told that you only had to be at the main stage a couple minutes before you needed to present BTS, you have to admit you were a little disappointed. You wanted to see the boys again before that, but work is work and you needed to do several outfit changes through the night. You're now dressed in regular clothes again, but after their performance is done you need to rush out of there and start getting ready for another sketch once again. So far everything has been going smoothly, except for one moment where you almost broke character and started laughing, but you managed to work it out pretty well and continue without much trouble.
Once you finally get there, the boys are already waiting on the stage and you manage to wave at them with a smile before a makeup artist pulls you away and starts fixing your face, and soon enough you're standing in front of the camera, ready to introduce them.
"Ladies and gentlemen, BTS." You say, moving away to the side so the camera can focus on them instead.
You, of course, are immediately enraptured by their performance and can't take your eyes off of them. Your brain still has a hard time processing that the boys who got so shy while just talking to you are over there now, being incredibly sexy and seductive like it's the way they are 24/7. They absolutely know what they're doing, and they know how to do it perfectly. They own the stage, and they love it.
You find yourself mouthing the "oh my my my" part of the chorus and dancing on your spot, because it's too catchy not to. The song is great, and you know for a fact it's gonna be a hit, and the performance is even better. You'll definitely be listening to it over and over again after this.
When the song is done, you only manage to give them two excited thumbs up when they look at where you are, before you are ushered away to get dressed for your next sketch. Things thankfully continue to go by without a problem; the audience's response is very positive and you feel quite confident about how everything is turning out to be.
It's not long before you're having another wardrobe change to present BTS's second performance of the night, and you're even more excited about this one than you were before. This song is actually one of your favorites, it's so fun to listen to and you can't wait to see them perform it live.
"Once again, BTS." You say, smiling widely as the camera moves away from you and goes to them.
You can actually sing this one— except for the parts in Korean— so you're really enjoying yourself this time. Dancing to their songs is pretty much unavoidable, and you can't help but mimic some of the easy parts of their choreography as well. They take your breath away through their entire performance— those damn hip rolls could give you a heart attack— and when they finish you start clapping and cheering for them like there's no tomorrow. They do get to see you right before someone takes you away so you can change again, and you manage to give them another thumbs up as you walk away to the dressing room.
When you're finally done with the last sketch, you feel the tension slip away from your body almost immediately. The last thing you need to do is get out of your costume and wrap up the episode with BTS and the cast, and you'll be finally done.
Your final outfit is a simple, not too tight dark blue suit with a white shirt and high heels, and the moment your makeup is fixed up you go back to the stage to get on position for the ending.
The boys are already there when you arrive, and you quickly greet them before someone from the production team starts to place them in the spots that work best for their height in relation to yours. When the cameras start rolling again you deliver your words of thanks for the opportunity to have so much fun with the SNL cast again and thank them, BTS and the amazing production team before saying your final goodbye so the credits can roll in.
You waste no time in hugging the boys one by one, immediately telling them how absolutely amazing their performance was, and then move on to the SNL cast who compliment you and tell you that you did a great job, which you say right back at them. They invite you to the after party, but you politely decline because you actually have a flight to catch in a few hours— and also because you're tired and don't really want to go.
Before you can start saying goodbye to them, Namjoon stops you to speak to you.
"Hey, would you mind to come by our dressing room in a bit? We have a little gift we wanted to give you—" He says, and you suddenly remember your assistant had told you that someone from their staff had asked her that already, and they told her they were going to film it.
"Oh, yes! Of course." You nod. "You guys go ahead and I'll be there in a sec." You want to switch your heels for something more comfortable before that.
They go in the direction of their dressing room, whereas you go find your assistant so she can give you your sneakers and take your high heels from you. Once you're done, you ask someone to lead you to where BTS's is staying.
"Come in, [Y/N]!" You hear Namjoon say when he sees you at the door, and you walk in and bow slightly to their staff before greeting them.
"Annyeonghaseyo." You say, and they reply the same to you. "Hey guys!" You say, waving at them. You hold yourself back from touching them too much because you don't want their fans to react negatively to this interaction, or maybe take it the wrong way. They all greet you with bright smiles, and suddenly Namjoon asks you to stand in the middle of them so they can take a picture.
"Oh, of course." You position yourself between Jungkook and Jimin. "You guys were so great tonight!" You say once the picture is taken.
You hear a chorus of thank you, and before you can leave Namjoon stops you and hands you a copy of their own album.
"We wanted to give you this—"
"You guys!" You say, genuinely touched at the gesture. "That's so sweet, thank you so much!" You clutch the album to your chest. "I love it."
You have to leave the room shortly after, and you wave at them as you walk through the door while they all yell goodbye to you.
You look at the album on your way back to your own dressing room; they all signed it, and even wrote little messages like 'thank you for the support', which you find to be absolutely adorable. Your assistant is waiting for you with yet another change of clothes— never in your life you have changed so often in such a short period of time, including your previous SNL appearance— so you can be actually comfortable once you're on your way to the airport.
Today was a long day, but a really fun and exciting one nonetheless. You just hope you'll be able to get some sleep on the plane, because otherwise you'll be fucked tomorrow.
It's not until after they are done filming the ending of their episode that Jungkook has a sudden thought, and waits no time to blurt it out to everyone in the middle of the room, startling even their stylists.
"We didn't thank [Y/N]-Noona for the flowers!" He cries out, looking like the world is about to end. He was just staring at the arrangement thinking about what a nice gesture it had been and how happy it made him, when he realized they never even did so much as mention it to you— and you didn't say anything about it.
"Oh shit." Namjoon says, realizing he's right and feeling angry at himself for not realizing it sooner. He had the entire night already planned in his mind and he did everything he had to do meticulously— but your gift was something he hadn't expected at all and his own nerves and excitement made him forget about it with everything else going on. "Do you think she's already gone?" He turns to their staff. "Can you find out if she left?"
God, they wasted so much time changing into their clothes that it's a very big possibility that you already left the building.
"She's still here, her assistant said she would make sure she doesn't leave yet, but you have to be fast because she has a flight to catch." Someone from their staff says, slightly breathless.
"Come on, let's go. We can't leave without thanking her." Namjoon says, and Yoongi frowns from his place on the couch.
"Do we all have to go? I'm sure it will be fine if only you go and thank her for all of us—" He complains, not wanting to get up.
"We're all going, Hyung. Get up." Namjoon says, leaving no room for discussion for anyone.
"I didn't really forget to thank her, I just thought they had decided not to and didn't say anything." Taehyung whispers to Jimin as they walk, who covers his mouth to stifle his laughter.
"Don't tell them that." He manages to whisper back.
When they finally arrive to your dressing room, they find you sitting there scrolling through your phone without a care in the world.
"Guys, hi!" You greet them with a smile, standing up once you see them enter. "What happened? My assistant told me—"
"We are so sorry!" Jungkook blurts out, looking very apologetic. You look at him like you have no idea what he's talking about— which, to tell the truth, you probably don't.
"Huh?" You say, frowning in confusion. "Sorry about...?"
"We forgot to thank you for the flowers." Namjoon quickly says, taking the reins of the apology. "We were very grateful when we saw them, and the message on the card was very thoughtful."
"The flowers— that's what this was about? You are very welcome guys, but it wasn't necessary to come all the way here, I promise." You laugh, lifting up both of your hands as if to make sure they understand you don't mind.
"No, no, it is. You went through all the trouble of getting them and it would be very rude to not thank you for them." Namjoon argues while the rest of them nod in agreement, and you bring your hands to your chest.
"That's incredibly sweet guys— I'm very happy you liked it. I just wanted you to know you are very welcome here. I know there are some people here that can be— how do I put this?" You look like you're trying to find the right words for a couple seconds. "Literal pieces of shit when it comes to talking about you." They all laugh at that, they can't really help it because of the deadpan way you say it. "But so many people here love you and appreciate you, and I hope you never forget that even if sometimes the worst people seem to be the loudest, they're not the majority. Not at all." They are all really touched by your words once Namjoon translates for them, but when he's about to reply to you he's interrupted by your assistant.
"[Y/N], the car is here. You need to go." She says, speaking from the door.
"I'm so sorry, I have to get going." You say, and they all nod in understanding. You sling your bag over your shoulder and start hugging them goodbye, but as you let go of Jungkook who is the last one, you suddenly say something that surprises them. "We should keep in touch."
"I can give you my number." Jungkook says immediately, pulling out his own phone so fast the others don't even see the movement. Jin has to look down in order to not burst out laughing right there, while the others do a slightly better job at hiding their reactions. "Or you give me yours." He unlocks his phone just in case, as he feels his ears starting to get hot. He doesn't care about embarrassment right now, this is more important.
You take the phone from his hand with a smile and quickly type your number, leaving it like that for him to save it himself.
"[Y/N]—" Your assistant calls for you again.
"Sorry guys, gotta go." You say, smiling apologetically. "Text me so I can save your number." You tell Jungkook with a smile right before walking away, leaving him just standing there looking down at the phone on his hand.
Jimin has his own phone out, quickly copying the number for himself before saving it as [Y/N] 누나.
"She gave me her number." Jungkook says, looking down at the screen in a daze.
"Yes, she did." Namjoon says, squeezing his shoulder while trying not to laugh at his reaction.
As they go get their things to finally go back to the hotel ,Jungkook's mind is focused only on the fact that he got your number, but not only that— he got it because you were the one who wanted to stay in touch with them.
He doesn't think he'll be able to sleep tonight.
While you relax and try to enjoy the car ride to the airport, your phone suddenly vibrates on your lap.
Is this [Y/N]?
It's a message from a number you don't recognize, so of course you assume it's Jungkook.
Yes. Who's this?
What you get in response is a selfie, but not from the person you were expecting.
It's Jimin. He's giving you a finger heart and has a puppy filter on, and you can't deny that your heart skips a beat at how adorable he looks.
Looks like someone stole my number.
Your phone vibrates immediately after, but this time it's a new number.
[Y/N]? Jungkook?
Much like Jimin, he sends you a selfie to confirm his identity— but unlike Jimin he has no filter on and is just looking at the camera with a grin instead. You feel your heart skip a beat again, and this time you send a picture of yourself in response, smiling as well.
Before you can even lock your phone it vibrates again, and this time it's Jimin.
Fuck.
He just sent you a selfie of himself pouting.
I don't steal :(
You have no doubts anymore. These boys will be the death of you.
This is the final chapter of the first arc of the story! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
#sub!bts#sub!idol#bts x reader#kim namjoon x reader#kim seokjin x reader#min yoongi x reader#jung hoseok x reader#park jimin x reader#kim taehyung x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#my work
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Girl Groups #1
I am a BIG girl group stan, so get ready for 2 long posts.
BLACKPINK
BLACKPINK is a 4 member girl group under YG Entertainment. The group consists of Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé and Lisa. They debuted in 2016 with the song called “Boombayah”.
BLACKPINK is currently the biggest girl group in the world. Unfortunately, no one told this to their record label. Ever since 2016, these girls have been mistreated by YG Entertainment. From 2016 until 2019 they only had 13 original songs. A little bit few for the biggest girl group, isn't it? If this wouldn't be enough their beloved boss gambled all the money they earned during their world tour. On the 2nd of October, they finally released their first full lenght album, but even that only has 8 songs.
I feel so sorry for these girls, not only because they are my favorite girl group but also because I always think about the fact that if they would have debuted at a different company their lives would be so much easier.
(G)I-DLE
(G)I-DLE is a 6 member girl group under Cube Entertainment. The group consists of Soyeon, Miyeon, Minnie, Soojin, Yuqi and Shuhua. They debuted in 2018 with the song called “LATATA”.
My beloved I-DLE has a very big place in my heart. Why? Because I got into K-Pop in 2018 and they were the very first group whom I ever stanned from debut. Not many K-Pop artists can say that they are making their own music but I-DLE can. Their leader, Soyeon is a multitalented Queen. She writes AND composes all of their songs while she is one of the best rappers in K-Pop today. They were called monster rookies for a reason back in 2018.
EVERGLOW
EVERGLOW is a 6 member girl group under Yuehua Entertainment. The group consists of E:U, Sihyeon, Mia, Onda, Aisha and Yiren. They debuted in 2019 with the song called “Bon Bon Chocolate”.
Talking about being monster rookies. Everglow is another perfect example of that. These girls went strong from debut. I remember when I first heard Bon Bon Chocolate I was amazed immediately. They quickly became one of my favorite girl groups and they haven't disappointed me ever since then.
MAMAMOO
MAMAMOO is a 4 member girl group under RBW Entertainment. The group consists of Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein, and Hwasa. They debuted in 2014 with the song called “Mr. Ambiguous”.
If you're looking for the best live vocals in music then you're at the right place. These girls could sing down the stars from the sky if that would be possible. Other then that, they are breaking stereotypical prejudgments in South Korea day by day. They are not afraid to speak their minds and show who they truly are. They have all my respect.
IZ*ONE
IZ*ONE is a 12 member Korean-Japanese girl group formed by Mnet’s survival show Produce48. The group consists of Jang Wonyoung, Miyawaki Sakura, Jo Yuri, Choi Yena, Ahn Yujin, Yabuki Nako, Kwon Eunbi, Kang Hyewon, Honda Hitomi, Kim Chaewon, Kim Minjoo, and Lee Chaeyeon. They debuted in 2018 with the song called “ La Vie En Rose”.
Unfortunately, since IZ*ONE is only a temporary group, they will disband after 2 years and 6 months, and the members will return to their companies to join groups, form new ones, or debut solo.
ITZY
ITZY is a 5 member girl group under JYP Entertainment. The group consists of Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryeong and Yuna. They debuted in 2019 with the song called “DALLA DALLA”.
Female monster rookies of 2019. They won every big rookie award last year.
Dreamcatcher
Dreamcatcher is a 7 member girl group under Dreamcatcher Company. The group consists of JiU, SuA, Siyeon, Handong, Yoohyeon, Dami, and Gahyeon. They debuted in 2017 with the song called “Chase Me”.
CLC
CLC is a 7 member girl group under Cube Entertainment. The group currently consists of Seungyeon, Seunghee, Yujin, Sorn, Yeeun, Elkie, and Eunbin. They debuted in 2015 with the song called “Pepe”.
Apink
Apink is a 6 member girl group under Play M Entertainment. The group currently consists of Chorong, Bomi, Eunji, Naeun, Namjoo and Hayoung. They debuted in 2011 with the song called “I Don't Know”.
April
April is a 6 member girl group under DSP Media. The group currently consists of Chaekyung, Chaewon, Naeun, Yena, Rachel, and Jinsol. They debuted in 2015 with the song called “Dream Candy”.
Secret Number
Secret Number is a 5 member girl group under VINE Entertainment. The group consists of Léa, Dita, Jinny, Soodam and Denise. They debuted in 2020 with the song called “Who Dis?”.
Although I put them now to the last place here, I believe that they will be one of my favorite girl group soon.
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Singapore Radio Interview (1998)
* SOME REVISIONS TO SPELLING/GRAMMAR/WORDING *
DJ Baobao: Wei, ni hao!
Faye: Ni hao!
DJ: Eh, sorry for disrupting your work.
Faye: It's okay, it's okay! DJ: Sorry for delaying your work. Because this is FM 93.3, we haven't heard from you for a long time, so we would like to ask about your well-being. Faye: Uh, okay. DJ: How are you? Faye: I, uh, is it starting now?? DJ: Yes, yes, yes! Faye: (Laughs) I'm very good. DJ: Would you like to greet everyone? Faye: Singapore fans, hi everyone, I'm Faye Wong, long time no see. DJ: We would like to find out if this album [Sing and Play] is the ideal one that you've always wanted to do? Faye: This one ah? Can’t consider it yet, I don’t think it’s perfect enough. DJ: So you mean you have an ideal concept in mind but have yet to achieve it? Faye: My ideal album would be something that I am 100% satisfied with, but this one, I don't think so yet. DJ: Do you have any album that's close enough to your ideal album? Faye: Close ah? Umm... Fuzao.
DJ: Yeah, Fuzao right? Yeah, I think it's very 'YOU'. Faye: (laughs) DJ: How was the entire process (recording 'Tong')? Did you have to pacify your daughter in any way? Faye: Actually there was no need to pacify her in any way. But it depended on her mood. If she's happy and willing to sing...actually at that time, well, we just took her to the recording studio once, just very naturally took her into the recording studio and let her sing. I taught her, by her side, and just record and record and chose suitable parts that we could use.
DJ: Do you think it has anything to do with pre-natal 'teaching', that she has this rhythm in her?
Faye: I think it's heredity! (laughs together) No pre-natal teaching involved, I didn't do any pre-natal things.
DJ: People feel that after you had a family, you have become different. You’re all smiles and the phrase they used was 'very co-operative.' What do you think?
Faye: Er...is it? (laughs) I feel that there's no drastic change...I’m releasing an album, so maybe yeah, there's promo activities involved and last time I needed to do promotions as well. But I feel that yeah, personally I feel more relaxed, not as tense as before. This might be a change, but not a drastic change, I don't think so. DJ: Maybe people around you see the change and associate this change with your family or maybe you experienced something new and have a new understanding in life? Faye: Hmm, I just mentioned that maybe there's a change in me, but not like what others say, a drastic change, it’s a little. With a daughter, I just feel that many things make me easily happy. Other than that, about life, no, I don't think there's any influence.
DJ: With your experience in this industry, do you worry for your daughter? Have you thought about this kind of far-off matter?
Faye: No, I don't worry. I feel this is her own matter. In the future, how she manages her life, how she faces her lifestyle, I feel it should all depend on her. Yup, when she was born, she was already an independent individual. Well I'm just responsible for her life and her education to a point, until she has matured. Then it'll be all under her control to manage her life.
DJ: Do you feel that people around you have any misconceptions about you, Faye Wong, as a person?
Faye: People around me? You mean fans?
DJ: No, just the people around you, erm, well, have you thought about how the media tends to be all nervous around you?
Faye: I think so. I think they can't totally understand me. After all, there's still this distance, they can't entirely pin-point what kind of person I am. I feel this misconception is very natural, but I don't wish to exaggerate this kind of misconception.
DJ: But when you hear things like, "Faye is very difficult to get through", do you feel sad?
Faye: I don't and won't feel sad. Actually everyone has a difficult side right? (laughs) A stubborn side. I think it's very natural. I don't think I am a very easy-going person to everything because I have my own ideas, my own views, and many times, I stand by my views. But this will inevitably lead to disagreements with others, so they feel like that. I think it's perfectly natural.
DJ: I did an interview with Leon Lai once and he said that with his kind of character, to survive in the entertainment industry till now is quite amazing. So inevitably I thought of you as an example. Have you balanced your gains and losses in this industry, especially with the invasion of privacy? Have you sort of balanced this sense of violation?
Faye: (Takes a deep breath) Uh, how does one put it? I feel that I as a sole individual have no power to settle this kind of 'disagreement', that is the disagreement between the media and a celebrity. But I feel that I have my own stance. I feel that I can co-operate with the media in areas regarding work but with privacy, I still try to protect my privacy. I understand that the media, well, a reporter, I mean, they don't have a say over everything they do. They, well, (laughs) have to listen to their supervisors' commands, or whatever, I understand this. But I feel that they cannot request a celebrity to 'co-operate' with them in this area... DJ: ...or to satisfy them. Faye: Right, they cannot request such a thing. Let’s say if a reporter is chasing a celebrity's whatever, private business, and were met with an irritated response, I feel that he should also feel that it's a very natural thing. I mean, no one likes it this way right? So I feel that everyone has their own stance. I feel that if everyone can understand one another, then there can be some kind of balance. So I can only do so much. I try to understand them as much as I possibly can. But you also shouldn't hope that I can 'co-operate' with you in any way. In this area, I won't voluntarily stand out and tell you my story.
DJ: So you published a photo taken with your daughter, this already belongs to the public if it's published in the papers. Is this considered public or your privacy?
Faye: You mean the one that reporters snapped and published in the papers?
DJ: The one at your birthday 'wig' party for example.
Faye: hmmm....
DJ: I feel that this may be quite confusing, is it considered your pri- Faye: (interrupts) I feel, private or not, whether or not I am willing to share openly, this is my decision. If I am willing to share, I can give you the photos and allow you to publish it. But if it's my business and I don't wish to let you know, I won't co-operate with you, that's what I mean. DJ: So, it still depends on you...
Faye; Of course! Of course, this is my life right? (both laugh) Yeah, I feel it is like with a friend, if I wish to let you know about it, I will tell you. If I don't wish to do so, you cannot blame me if I don't tell you about it right? It's just that simple.
DJ: But this will be a very slow gradual 'counter-attacking' process...
Faye: I have no intention to 'counter-attack'. I just feel, er, how to put this? Well, if he doesn't attack, why should I counter attack, right?? If everyone can get along with no problems, why would I...this so-called 'counter-attack' means firstly there must be a violation. You violate my rights, that's why I would defend myself right?? (both laugh)
DJ: Yeah, maybe that's the process.
Faye: That's why I said that I cannot do much as an individual to settle this matter. I can only stand firm and think things over and clearly, and try hard not to get too angry over such matters.
DJ: Sounds as if it's quite tiresome and helpless?
Faye: Yeah, I guess, life is like that!
DJ: I guess this is the rule of the game. They have this process, we just have to follow cause we can't change it.
Faye: Um, presently yes, but I still hope there will be a change.
DJ: So do I. Oh, we must also congratulate you on winning the Singapore Hit Awards "Most Favorite Female Artist".
Faye: um, thank you.
DJ: Would you like to say a few words? I know many people voted conscientiously, although, you rarely come to Singapore.
Faye: Yeah, that's what I wanted to say too. I have very few opportunities to come to Singapore and I would like to thank Singapore fans for being so supportive of me all along. I’m very thankful to them.
DJ: Thank you, Faye.
Faye: Thank you.
DJ: What you can do is to show us more of your good work.
Faye: Yes, this is what I hope to achieve as well.
DJ: Thank you, good bye!
Faye: Bye.
------------------------------------------------------------------
SOURCE: SINGAPORE FAYENATICS // TRANSLATED BY: UNKNOWN - PLEASE CONTACT ME
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Survey #308
“you don’t need treats, and you don’t need tricks, and you don’t need me.”
Middle name? Marie. Or Marie Catherine, if we're technical, but as someone who loooong left Catholicism and never even agreed with many aspects of it in the first place, I don't like to include it. If you're confused, there's a ceremony called Confirmation, and while I honestly don't even remember the details of it, you adopt the name of a saint you want to stand for, kinda. I chose Catherine just because I liked the name outta my other options. Democrat/republican/other? I classify myself as Independent because I really don't relate well enough to either, but I do know I'm becoming more and more liberal with time. Do you dress according to your mood? My mood? No. I dress with what I feel like wearing at that time, but my actual mood has nothing to do with it. Are you good at doing hair/make up? No. Are you always worried or stressed about something? 24/7, my friend. Can you swim? Yeah. Are you afraid of needles? I don't like them, but I'm not afraid of them. How many kids do you want? Zero. Long/short nails? I keep mine short. Do you like wearing hats? No. Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? Nah, I loved seeing Santa as a kid. :') Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am RIDICULOUSLY clumsy. Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? In concept, but I ain't easy to pick up anymore lmao. Do you like hairless cats? I do!! Females, anyway, for... obvious reasons lol. Not having fur makes some things waaay too ~obvious~ otherwise. I would love a sphynx. Do you like the color yellow? No; it's actually one of my most disliked colors. Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball? Yeah. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Not by a dentist, no, just by myself as a kid when I was losing my baby teeth. When someone says don’t look do you look? It depends on why they're telling me to not look. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say? I'm a very emotional person, I need a lot of "me" time, and to be aware of my social anxiety so not every interaction I have is perceived as just a dumpster fire. What are your three biggest insecurities? My creativity, my goddamn body, and my lack of social skills. If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? Ummm. I can only think of people I miss and don't WANT to be anonymous... Favorite photo of yourself? A senior prom picture I don't have anymore. I looked so, so happy and fuck my low self-esteem, gorgeous. Who are you disappointed with right now? I'm like, permanently disappointed in myself lol. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. My minimum is 21. What question do you hate to answer? "Are you a virgin?" because it's just a confusing answer. It doesn't sound like one at all, but trust me on this. The subject of sex just makes me uncomfortable anyway, so even if I was confident in the answer, I wouldn't want to talk about it. What’s your most listened to song? I don't have a way of actually finding that out, but I'd say I've been listening to "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli quite a lot lately. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I mean, I don't know. It would depend on what was going on in my life and head at the time. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A nice car for Mom. She's had the same shitty car for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss now because she just can't afford a new one; hell, this one was free. A dance friend hit a deer, so the front of the car is messed up, and she bought a new one, but because the car itself was still functional, she gave it to my mom. Mom is so loved at the studio. The car just has various issues by this point, like trouble starting, accelerating, it's bumpy, etc., so it's way past time for a new one. Do you like licorice? NOOOOOOOOOO that's a big 'ole "ew." Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? No, but I've seen it from a distance when riding up to NY. When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? WOW. I couldn't even try to guess. What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? The house I was born into. I actually don't know how long Mom and Dad lived there, but I was only in that house as a very little baby. I have zero memories of it. What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) ... There's a difference? lol I guess peppermint? What was the last thing to frustrate you? I wanted to draw yesterday, but I didn't know what to draw to even get started. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Did any of your family members serve in WWII? I don't believe so? Well... maybe my grampa did? I don't remember. What’s your favorite kind of salad? Gimme an Olive Garden salad and I will deadass eat the whole bowl. Are you more realistic or idealistic? I'd say I'm more realistic with most things. Are you currently borrowing something from someone? No. Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? No. What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Ireland. When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? I got new flipflops a year or so back because my old Rainbows were so worn out and blackened my feet. Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where? No. Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't checked since moving here. We're in the suburbs though, so it's questionable. Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Not unless it's required, usually. I think. When's the last time I physically signed anything, anyway? What brand of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro. What operating system does that computer run? Windows 10. What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? I don't really know, given how much my weight has fluctuated. Went drastically up, went down, now it's back up. .-. I still own a handful of shirts I want to "shrink back into" from late HS and early college times, but yeah, I don't know if I'll actually achieve that. Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? Flat as my ass. What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? No one on my phone has a "special" ringtone. Where do you keep your hair brush? There's a comb I use in a drawer in the bathroom. Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Multiple pairs of Converse, also from high school. When’s the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? I'm very happy to say I don't even recall the last time I was sick. My immune system is the fuckin GOAT. What did you have for breakfast this morning? A pb&j. We've got very little rn, but thankfully Mom's picking up our Wal-Mart order today. Last time you were in pain? If I'm standing, you can bet my legs hurt, so. What color is your mom’s hair? It's growing back totally gray now. Is that also your hair color? Well, no, I'm only 25. Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? No. I watch people who vlog occasionally, but not regularly. It's gotta be people I'm very into to really be interested in vlogs. What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? Sigh, I'm always in my bedroom. Really hoping Mom and I muster up the motivation to clean up the extra room soon to turn it into my "dayroom" or "office," if you will. What do you put on your tacos? I hate tacos. What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? I have a bittersweet connection to the adorable plush meerkat Jason gave me for Valentine's our first year together; I always slept with it when we were together by apart, and for a year or so after the breakup. It was a source of comfort for me, so I'm really fond of it. Fella's fur is so worn out and matted down with age and lots of love. He's on my dresser now, towards the front of all my plushies. Last thing you hung up on your wall? My Illidan poster, I believe. Do you have a full length mirror? Yeah, on the back of my door. Is it currently raining? No, finally. It's been raining for like a fuckin week, it seems like. It's finally a clear day. It's nice to hear birds outside. Does anyone you live with talk in their sleep? Does this happen often? I'M the one doing the talking/screaming in my sleep. Thanks, nightmares. When was the last time you cried, or felt tearful? I'm not positive, but I know I had a pretty rough PTSD night not too long ago where I teared up. Did you wake up with a song stuck in your head today? What was it? Ohhh yes; I've been listening to Mother Mother's "Ghosting" on repeat because it's jammed up there. When was the last time you used moisturiser or lotion of some kind? Not too long ago on my hands. They get dry this time of year, and besides, I wash my hands a lot nowadays especially. What was the last thing you owned, that was accidentally broken or damaged? Were you able to get it fixed? My laptop, and yes. Tell me about the last dream you recall having. Was it weird, amusing, etc. So this is pretty wild. I know I had a nightmare last night, but I don't remember it; the night before, however, I had a nightmare about a possibly rabid and ginormous rat (I mean like, smaller dog sized) in the house and trying to bite me. It was SUPER weird, because I was actually afraid of it, yet I absolutely adore rats in real life. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? I've really gotten into John Wolfe (a let's player) lately, and I'm going through his The Evil Within playthrough. Do your parents use any social media at all? My mom has a Facebook, and hilariously, Dad has a Snapchat to talk with my sister Nicole. He has no clue what he's doing with it and it's adorable, haha. Mom also has a Twitter, but she doesn't use it. Is there anyone in your life who regularly asks how your day has been? Regularly, no. I've always been that person, especially in the WoW guild I'm in. I'm very close and comfortable with them and ask how everyone's doing any time I log on. Lovely people who give me some social interaction every day. Tell me something positive about the day you've had. It's still early, but once again, it's pretty and bright outside. Why do you prefer Facebook over MySpace, because I know you do? Ha, you'd be incorrect. MySpace was more personal, so I actually preferred it. But it's obviously long-dead, so I just settle with Facebook. Have you read the Pretty Little Liars series? No. My sister looooves it, though. What product do you use to moisturize your lips? I don't remember, actually... It's in my purse somewhere. When did you start using Xanga? I never have. Be honest, do you judge people on their appearance? Judge, I don't think so. I can make assumptions like everyone else, but I'm not gonna think someone is beneath me just by their attire. Do you know anyone who does not like The Beatles? Me. At least, most songs. "Hey Jude" is good, but everyone agrees with that, haha. Did you have a friend in middle school that you’re now enemies with in high school? I'm long since out of HS. I had a middle school friend who I disconnected with following a fight in high school, but we weren't "enemies," and we reunited our senior year anyway. Aaaaand we're not friends anymore once again lmao. What is one thing you hope your children don’t inherit from you? If I hypothetically wanted kids, God knows I'd hope they wouldn't have my psychological issues. Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It'd be nice, anyway. What type of foundation do you wear? None. Who’s the most controlling person you know? Someone I'm no longer friends with, partially because of this. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep. Are you for or against guyliner? Ugggghhhhh guyliner makes me weak in the knees. How many jobs have you had? Where do you currently work? Three; nowhere. Who did you last hit? Um, nobody??? What way of self-care do you enjoy the most and what feels more like an obligation? I enjoy my alone time on the computer as the best self-care, especially after being social all day; I don't, however, enjoy the act of performing hygiene care. I still do it, it's just not fun. The feeling afterwards is great, though. Have you ever tried specific diet plans or fads? What made you do it and how did it turn out for you? I was briefly using NutriSystem, which didn't work for me. I hated too much of the food. More recently I stuck with flexible dieting and calorie counting for a while, but I drifted from it when I still lost no fucking weight in like a month. I want to get back to it, though... oh, and intermittent fasting. I don't think it really worked for me yet again, even though I did it correctly, but that and the aforementioned flexible dieting is all I feel like I can handle. I guess I just have to give it longer. Do you know anyone who has been directly affected by COVID-19 e.g. testing positive, losing a loved one, or their job due to the pandemic? Too many people I know have had it or had someone they loved die because of it. Take this shit seriously. Is there a kind of music you only prefer listening to during specific type of activities that you otherwise wouldn’t enjoy under normal circumstances (e.g. EDM while doing sports or instrumental music while studying, etc.)? No; I have to actually enjoy the music. If you had to start a YouTube channel and motivations/skills/resources/any other inhibiting factors weren’t an issue, what would it be about? Either animal (preferrably reptiles) education or let's plays, ig. Has anything ever happened to you that if you told someone about, they would think you’re making it up? I don't believe so. What travel destination or popular spot have you been to that you found overrated? What about a lesser known place that you thought was a hidden gem? I really don't know; I haven't traveled nearly enough for this.
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‘Future Nostalgia’ - Dua Lipa REVIEW: Changing the game through timeless pop.
Pop music is important. It distracts us, it brings us joy, it makes us dance, it attaches itself to memories forever. This is Dua Lipa’s blueprint for her sophomore release, Future Nostalgia. It’s there in the name; she wants her music to be everlasting, so that it can be branded with one of the fondest descriptors possible: nostalgic.
Quite an ambitious objective, but not surprising for 2019′s Best New Artist Grammy winner. There is great pressure that comes with such a title, but Dua has proved herself worthy of it on Future Nostalgia. She does not just want to be the best new artist, but one of the best artists, period. “You want a timeless song, I wanna change the game,” is the opening line of the album and title track. Luckily, we all win in this scenario; although the song itself might not be the game changer, there are plenty of tracks on the album that are game changers because they have a timeless feel to them, which is not something many of her contemporaries are doing.
Future Nostalgia’s only drawback is that there is not much lyrical depth; despite misconception, pop music can explore profundity, especially considering the subject matters of love and heartbreak, which are prominent themes of the album. However, I can accept and respect pop music that operates closer to surface level as well, especially when it’s done as well as it is on Future Nostalgia; I mean, I’m not complaining.
STRONGEST TRACK(S): “Don’t Start Now,” “Pretty Please”
Has there ever been a lead single as strong as “Don’t Start Now”? Co-writers and producers for the track include Ian Kirkpatrick, Emily Warren and Caroline Ailin, all of whom penned her excellent breakout song, “New Rules” (sans Lipa) in 2017. The song is split into three segments- verse, pre-chorus, and chorus- all of which sound distinctly different from the others, yet feel like such a natural equation. The bongos in the chorus and the later addition of a string section over the synths, leading to a full and rich final chorus just throw you for such an exciting loop, it is impossible to not have fun listening to this song. On top of the melodic genius of the song, its straightforward lyrical message is just as empowering as the music itself. “Don’t Start Now” is Dua’s expression of liberation from the pain of a heartbreak, and a warning to the breaker in question not to come crawling back when he sees how much she is thriving, and boy, is she!
Despite the enormous success of both “New Rules” and “Don’t Start Now,” Kirkpatrick and Ailin only work with Dua on one other track of the album, “Pretty Please,” and it should come as a surprise to no one that it is the next strongest song on the record. Penned alongside singer-songwriter phenomenon Julia Michaels and co-produced by Juan Ariza, “Pretty Please,” a track about needing the sweet relief of a lover, is one of the album’s few breathers. And in it, Lipa is asking for a breather herself: “when my mind is running wild, could you help me slow it down?” she asks, and then the song brilliantly does just that when she sings the next line, “put my mind at ease,” before returning to its original speed. There are other great musical tricks sprinkled throughout the song, such as a sound that mimics the feeling of the line “trickle down my spine.” The track continues to build musically but is never too much, it’s always just right.
WEAKEST TRACK: “Boys Will Be Boys”
She tried with this one. She really did. Look, I love a song with a strong feminist message as much as the next girl, but this one was just a swing and a miss. The first verse of “Boys Will Be Boys” starts off strong, quite accurately depicting the fear women face on a daily basis, the way we have to alter our behavior to keep ourselves safe. But with each verse, it feels less sincere and more contrived, with lyrics such as “in case you needed it mansplained” and “if you’re offended by this song, you’re clearly doing something wrong.” Additionally, it is an odd closer for an album full of fun pop songs; it’s possible it is there as a warning for anyone who might get to the end of the album and think negatively of how she asserts her femininity and sexuality in a way throughout that is universally accepted when men do the same. And while the intended message is indeed important and true, it lacks the necessary delivery.
THE IN-BETWEENS
The delivery on the lust-filled, dance-inducing tracks are much more effective. “Cool,” an incredibly infectious song about losing control around the person you’re into, experiments with Dua’s vocal abilities and range, with pointed squeaks at the end of her words and a gorgeous switch into her lower register at the beginning of the final chorus. “Physical,” the second official single, is an intense and wildly fun song that could work as the soundtrack for a long drive, a night at the bar with friends, or in a workout class. While the album very successful achieves sonic cohesion, it can sometimes get a bit tiresome; “Hallucinate” feels like it was made simply to be played at festivals, and although the lyrical sentiment of “Love Again” is nice enough it could have been a moment for a more subtle musical departure.
BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “Levitating”
Never thought I’d be such a fan of a song that uses the term “sugarboo,” yet, here I am. No track on the record quite captures the concept of “future nostalgia” as well as “Levitating” does, with its futuristic sounds and lyrics that I can imagine we will be singing forever (yes, even the “sugarboo” bit!). In every way, it perfectly encapsulates the pure elation that comes with meeting someone and feeling a heaven-made connection. Every element of this song makes it a necessary single choice: it’s extremely catchy, it has a perfect tempo for anyone of any age to dance to it, “yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”s, and lyrics in the hook that are perfectly spaced out to remember and chant (”you! moonlight! you’re my! starlight!”). Bruno Mars WISHES he wrote it; it feels like a song for which everyone would get up at a wedding to dance for years and years to come. I, for one, will get up every time, at least.
***
It’s impossible that Dua could have predicted while creating her album that this would be the state of the world at the time of its release. Many artists with new projects have decided to cancel or postpone their releases until further notice due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This is understandable for a myriad of reasons, from the inability to properly promote the work to feeling as if it just might not be the appropriate time. Although it might feel like there is little to dance about right now with the world crumbling around us, Future Nostalgia gives us reason, now and for the future, when we can hopefully look back and remember an album that provided us levity in our darkest hour. So stay indoors, facetime your sugarboo, and thank whatever the hell you pray to for pop music. Grade: 4/5
DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: I have been a casual fan of Dua since “New Rules” exploded on Tumblr in 2017, but not much more. However, I have a specific fondness for her, as my favorite client of all time was a huge fan of her shortly after, so when I listen to Dua it reminds me of her. I hope she’s loving this album and that it’s bringing her joy and comfort in this uncertain time. I’m a huge proponent for female pop artists and the meticulousness of their craft, and I think Dua has done an excellent job of taking constructive criticism and improving, utilizing her strengths in a way that blur out her weaknesses. The release of “Don’t Start Now” felt like a turning point in her stardom, and this album is the proof. I really would like to see some stronger lyrical work from Dua, as I feel there are little to no moments on the album where I feel impressed or particularly moved by any line, and although I love and support fun and light pop music, I think it’s also very possible to have upbeat pop music with much sharper lyrics. I think she kind of tried but the few times she did they didn’t quite land. If she had a couple of songs stronger on the lyrical front, this would have been a nearly perfect album for me. But for a sophomore effort, this is great. It feels like a nice breath of fresh air in a time that’s filled with anxiety-ridden gasps, and I’m grateful for it.
#dua lipa#future nostalgia#don't start now#cool#physical#levitating#pretty please#hallucinate#love again#break my heart#good in bed#boys will be boys#emily warren#ian kirkpatrick#julia michaels#new rules
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Haylor debunk 2012-present Part 1
This one is for my dear @moondustflower, my sincere apologies for postponing this every time. I was creating this post a few days ago, but suddenly nothing saved and I had to start all over again. I had come so far, but it is okay because I love to do this for you all. I created this with my co owner, so if you have questions about something or if something is missing please message me.
It has been four weeks since I wrote the stuff above, my love. My deep sincere apologies for postponing this. I just wanted it all in one post, but I have decided to make a part two and give you what you have been longing for so long. You deserve it, my baby!
I feel like I have disappointed you the most by letting you wait this long, I feel so awful about it. No excuse will make up for it and I hope you can forgive me for the time. You are such a sweet, loving, humble, kind and perfect person. The fandom need more people like you and I hope all your good dreams and hopes come true for you!!
I might have to edit a few stuff about this post, but please message me when you do not understand something. Have a gorgeous week, baby!
All of this is all for you guys!
Little present just for you: (Your Ziam idead are great, thank you for it!)
———————–
First, I would like to say that I mean no harm to Taylor Swift. I absolutely did not like the way she shaded Harry and spread things about him, but I do have sympathy for the things she had to go through with her family. Stuff like that is not ever okay, no matter what kind off problems you have. Those things hurt people so so so much, I detest that. My prayers are always with people who have problems and I hope she will get better.
———————–
March 2012
What many people might not know is that Haylor did not start at the end of 2012, they already started it in the beginning of 2012. I was there at the time and I can tell you one thing: it was and is such a fake mess.
Taylor and Selena are dancing to What Makes You Beautiful, I do not know why this is proof of Haylor, because Selena Gomez, Katy Perry and the female fans all danced to the song. The printed interview, underneath the gif, is the start of the Haylor drama. I need you guys to know one thing and that is that printed interviews are completely untrustworthy, they are fake and most of the time they never even have an interview with the celeb. They just make up stories while consulting it with the artists label. The newspaper writes all kinds of stuff that never happened, the people work for the media so their goal will always be to create drama and to write about it so their paper will always sell. Not to mention that in 2012 One Direction was going to break into the American Market, hence stunts like Elouno and Haylor. For a person to break into the American Market lots of drama is needed. It is not a secret, that the American Market wants as much drama as possible. Even nowadays you have gorgeous examples of it. I’ll give you an example of Korean Pop groups. Groups such as Blackpink and BTS started to collaborate with American stars (Halsey and Dua Lipa). This is a way to gain attention so the Halsey and Dua Lipa fans will start to like the groups, then more and more people will starts to like them in America due to collaborations and then they will be official part of the American Music Industry. This also happened to One Direction. Haylor was a way to get One Direction into the American Market and for them to be relevant in America.
This story is about how ‘Taylor likes Harry’ but she told it Justin and he has to remain silent. If Justin promised her not to tell it to anyone, how come the media knew about it?
The follow on twitter is all a strategy, most of us knew that when Louis and Eleanor finally broke up that they unfollowed each other. Later they refollowed each other again and we all knew she was going to make a kind of come back. Harry says in his tweet that he met amazing people, he is not referring to one person only. Another thing you need to know is that a ‘source’ is just as untrustworthy as a printed interview. How come a ‘source’ gets to know everything? When Harry travels to Japan, he tells his manager too. How come we never really know when he leaves and when he comes back? However we always know when he comes back and leaves when he is with a girl. Some thing are censured, which means that we only see the information they want us to see. A few days we have not spotted Harry, does that mean he did not leave his house? No, it means he did leave his house but if someone took a picture it gets deleted immediately. There are various examples of this. One time a fan said that he saw Louis and Harry together, a few moments later his whole twitter account got suspended. They only let us see the information they want us to see. Remember the time when Nick Grimshaw and Louis Tomlinson met the same fan? Harry was out with Nick that day and Nick tweeted about couples holding hands. We got to know that because they wanted us to.
Somewhere around this time this interview happened too;
The boys shade it again. They were ‘gutted’. We all know how much Louis makes fun out of Haylor and how much he hates it. Harry and the rest of the boys are clearly making fun of it. Weird, since each Haylor shipper claims they are in love or at least friends.
April 2012
This is once again a piece out of a printed interview, which means it is fake. They are basically exposing themselves with this one. Justin said Taylor liked Harry and now he says that he has sworn not to say it. It is not normal for a ‘source’ to know every single detail about someone unless the label agrees to it. The label also has to agree to things that are published in newspapers and news blogs. These interviews are perfect for making fans gossip around and that is also their main goal.
*************************************Intermission***************************************
Louis ‘teasing’ Harry about Taylor Swift/Louis hating Haylor/Taylor:
It is not a secret that Louis completely detested Haylor/Taylor. I’m going to give you a series of videos/moments in which Haylor shippers genuinely think Louis is teasing him about it. I definitely think all the boys laughed and mocked the stunts at first, but at a moment in 2012 Louis could not laugh about it anymore, he was heartbroken.
1. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJfgyGiLqMc
The boys need to look for a ‘drift’ and Harry has to name celebs that were there. Harry names a couple of celebrities and Louis asks further, he is waiting for one special name to be called and that is Taylor Swift. Harry does not say it at first, he tried to avoid it. Then, later on Harry does say it and Louis replies that it’s the one. Louis folds his arms and gets that tight lipped smile of his, he looks angry/sad/jealous. There not even a smile on his face to be seen.
2. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=61&v=WZTjcVzV29w
There are a few interviews in this one. In the 1st one Harry literally denies Taylor invited him to dinner. (October 2012)
In the 2nd video the interviewer asks him ‘’Harry apparently you have been tasting Taylor Swift truffels’’ (or something in that way), Harry pauses and thinks, then he just says ‘’Eeh…we met in America and she is very nice yeah.’’ He completely ignored the question of the interviewer, because it never happened. He was confused himself. (begin 2012)
Then we have the 3rd video, the boys have to name celebrities which they would like to see and at a moment Louis point his finger to Harry and says ‘’Taylor Swift’’ (Niall already said it, but Louis being Louis says it again to make it obvious) while having that super sad/angry expression again. He also has that tight lipped smile. Niall laughs because he obviously knows Louis does that because Harry hates it. Harry just nods. (October 2012) This is Louis’ expression:
The 4th video is SUPER interesting, Niall only says he likes Taylors song. Even nowadays he likes her songs, he even has her album 1989 on his phone. Zayn also likes her music and thinks she is a good artist. Then, Louis is asked what kind of music he likes but he can not choose Taylor Swift (like he would) and he says ‘’Anything of John Mayer.’’ Do you guys get it? JOHN MAYER IS TAYLORS MOST FAMOUS EX. Please take a look at his facial expression, he know what he did. Please try to name one person who hates Taylor/Haylor more than Louis and Harry.
In the 5th video (2012) Harry is asked about his ‘relationship’ with Taylor Swift. The interviewer asks ‘’How is that going?’’ and Harry says ‘’ ehm..it’s good..yeah’’ than the interviewers asks if there might be a relationship and Harry shrugs and says ‘’Maybe..’’. I like how he is never excited when it comes to her.
The 6th (2012) video causes a lot of confusion. People say Harry replies that he thinks Haylor is good, but that is not what he is saying. The interviewer asks ‘’How is Taylor Swift?’’ Harry says ‘’She’s good’, she’s good’’. Then Liam asks ‘’What are your thoughts on Haylor?’’ and Louis says ‘’I’d love to know’’ while being sad again. Harry just replies with an ‘’Ehh..’’
The 7th video is from april 2013, the boys had a concert and while Harry sings ‘’I’m in love with you’’ Louis says ‘’Taylor Swift’’. He still ‘teases’ him about it, not because he thinks it is funny. It clearly bothers him, just look at all the examples. Harry remains unbothered and the boys joke about it.
3. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMlKEun7UfI
(October 2012)
2nd video, Louis is asked about Haylor and if he is happy that they got together and he says ‘’I’m happy they are good friends….if that’’ (If That means ‘or even less’) so they are friends or less than friends. Then the interviewer asks about Taylor and Louis replies that he has met her before and she is a lovely girl.
4. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eksIAQNHoTY
This one is self explanatory, Louis is asked what his favorite song of their album (Take Me Home) is. He replies with ‘’I loved you first’’ and looks at Harry. At the time Harry had to do lots of stunting with Taylor, and Louis was so sad and moody throughout the whole interview. He only smiles at Harry. The rest of the boys knew something was up, Liam patted his shoulder and the rest tried to comfort him.
5. Harry is asked about Taylor Swift and this is Louis’ reaction.
6. Louis’ emotions during Haylor (end 2012)
*************************************End Intermission*********************************
Stuff like this are also things you should not believe. If you have not read the part about ‘location’ then I highly suggest you to do that first. Remember, stuff like this can only spread if the label agrees to it. Most of those people get paid for making stuff like this up. This is a lie anyways, if you can expose their location you can also take a picture right?Yet, this girl did not do that. Plus, she started dating Conor Kennedy in July 2012, why are those rumors not about him? Well, because 1D needed to stay relevant in the American Market.
The ‘source’ is saying this to cause a stir in the fandom. Making it seem like it really happened. A source can never know all of these personal things. Unless the label gives a thumbs up, so do Haylor shippers genuinely think Taylor and Harry go on a ‘date’ with each other and tell every single detail to a source who publishes it in a newspaper? Then the whole purpose of the relationship basically is to gain attention from the public, right? Taylor complains about not wanting to tell her private life to people because it spreads so fast. All of this does not make sense at all. Plus why did Harry ‘kiss’ Emma Ostilly if he ‘wanted it so desperately?’ None of this show makes sense. The 2nd picture came out in October 2012 and I can not stop, this is so comical. He literally stated he was single…..so….!
Haylor was never alive, but they ‘broke up’ in 2013. Then articles like this one came out. This is always after a celebrity break up, it is to fuel the Haylor hell fire. Things like this happened all along, we all know these things are lies. Plus, again the ten million dollar question: how can a source know all of these details? They publish stuff like this because the label is okay with it. If Taylor told them the whole relationship purpose it ‘attention’. That is how you can spot a fake relationship. Remember that Ed Sheeran got married and no one knew for a while. That’s how a real relationship works.
This one is comical, for a lover to cheat you do have to be in a relationship. Harry said he was single in an interview from april 2012. Before Taylor tweeted this and before he kissed Emma Ostilly.
August 2012
From July Taylor started dating Conor Kennedy. I do not know where to start. Taylor put the picture up there because of her video on the screen. One Directions wallpaper was put there too, it is no digital screen, so the picture is not going to change. She needed a picture of Times Square not only her picture, else it would not look good. They are literally acting like she only posted a picture of her and 1D out there. Plus, Zayn is there too and he and Niall like Taylors music. Where are those dating rumors? She was dating Conor at the time, if she loved him so much why would she do that? Harry did not hurt her by kissing Emily Ostilly, because they never had a relationship (Harry said he was single and somehow Taylor is not hurt by that).
It literally sound like they are reading the words from a screen, anyway please watch the video. You will see that no one is teasing Harry, when Harry is done the rest of the boys look at Louis while smiling, not at Harry like the person claims. If we have to be honest, we all know why they are looking at Louis like that….right? ;)
Link: https://twitter.com/haylorthread/status/996081743336796161
Please note that this is also not an innocent dinner. These pictures have a meaning, another pr technique is posing with the same fan to show they were in the same room/together. We can all see the little boy in his red Cars shirt. Both of them took a picture with him, remember how I said these pictures are out because they want us to see they are ‘hanging out’ together. Whereas in reality they only took the picture and went home. This is the same case as the Nick and Louis one. From here on, the Haylor rumors started again. Ed Sheeran plays a role in this too. Taylor was still dating Conor kennedy so, for the people who think they had a pr relationship during this time, that is not true. She was Conors fake girlfriend at the time. To the Haylor shippers: this is not proof at all.
September 2012
Zayn, Niall and Harry are all laughing (not because of Zayns comment), when Zayn whispers that, Harry ignores it and replies with ‘’Rihanna.’’ I definitely think Zayn joked about it and that is why he laughed, Harry has been labeled to her like a stamp, so this was definitely a way to mock the stunt.
Link: https://twitter.com/leftmeinthehll/status/1014162069577445377
It is comical that her source knows more than Taylor herself. About the marked part, she apparently did not have hard feelings for him. I wonder why, usually she mocks and humiliates her exes each opportunity she gets. I hope it did not have anything to do with the fact that he is family of the Kennedy’s.
Here is where it starts to get even weirder. According to the internet Taylor and Harry’s fake relationship started in December 2012 and ended in January 2013. Their first public appearance with each other was on the 2nd of December 2012. So during that time she creates a music video in which a person who portrays Harry (a bad guy) dates her. The lyrics insinuate that the person is trouble, because they ‘dated’ and he let her down. Okay, so we know how she felt about ‘what Harry did’. Still she goes back to him for another round while she knows ‘the bad stuff’ he did to her. So, ‘Harry’ goes on trips with her, dates her, kisses another person and cheats on her and she still goes back to him? Not to mention that he did not consider what ‘he and Taylor had’ a relationship. This is just as toxic and fake as Elouno. Both Taylor and Eleanor go back to their ‘toxic and cheating partner.’
We, larries, know this never happened. The love banner tattoo is a sign of Harry. The paper airplane is also the sign of Haylor. What they do is actually very simple, they give them an object and make it the ‘key’ of a relationship. So the next time when you will see Taylor throwing away the paper airplane necklace in Out Of The Woods you will know it is about Harry. This is necessary for their headlines. Everyone knows Taylor shades all her exes, so whenever she and her boyfriend break up you can expect a song about him. It gives both Harry and Taylor popularity. People will start gossiping and make it bigger than usual. This is also a branch of the whole stunting tree. It is a clever move, but you can see the similarities too. One of her exes once bought her jewelry too. I bet those things are also in her songs. They pick the ‘key’ of the relationship (jewelry, date or looks) and put it in her music video, so her fans will know who it is about.
October 2012
Harry tweets this on 4 October, 2012. I think it is to warn us about the fact that he and Taylor had to share one of those paper airplane necklaces. It is basically a confirmation that ‘he likes’ those, for fans to think that if he gives them to Taylor he likes her too. You could think that it was just one of those tweets of Harry, but he tweeted it this for a purpose in October. The same month in which he and Taylor will be seen wearing it.
I have watched the whole thing and I still did not hear the part. However we all know they tried to link him to older people from the start.
Taylor gets invited to Nick’s radio show and a day after Harry is invited. The timing is not a coincidence. Nick has been teasing Harry about Taylor Swift since forever, he is basically doing the same as the boys. He is a close friend of Harry’s and he definitely knows Haylor is a pr relationship. So he does the same, he basically mocks it. Remember the 2018 (I think) interview in which Nick teased him about Two Ghosts. Nick was saying it was about Taylor Swift and then Harry screamed once and for all ‘’NOOOO.’’ Little bonus; Nick loves to shade Haylor too.
Taylor agreed to have someone out there who looks good. Unfortunately these months were the gossip months of Haylor 2.0. Which is interesting cause when Taylor and Harry were photographed in early December, it was reported that that was only their second date, which means it could not be Harry. I hope all of you see that Haylor is a super fake and messy stunt. They can not get it right. There are big holes in their plans. She also says that she does not like it when het private life is on display. This is what I meant with the articles and sources. She does not like it so why would her label or she get the information out there? Because their relationship is not real. Nothing of it has ever been private, we practically got to know which direction she breathed.
Link: https://twitter.com/haylorthread/status/996088920424304642
In her tweet, Taylor is talking about ‘most of her emotions.’ The song is about not wanting to sleep because she does not want to miss a thing. I genuinely do not see how this is about Harry. Is all she does obsessing with Harry? Well she is the only one because it is CLEARLY not mutual. It is one of her favorite songs, she sang it with the music artist himself.
It’s that so called ‘source’ again. Plus it is an article from The Sun, they always spread lies and this whole thing is a lie. One pr strategy they also use, is the blurry picture. They release only one blurry picture of the event to make it seem like the couple is private and want to be together all alone. They fail each time, because when 1D needs to be private we never get a picture. Not even a blurry one. They make it seem like a fan takes those pictures and posts them online. Do not get fooled, loves. It is all for show. Whenever the boys aren’t seen for day it does not mean that they do not go outside. They do, no one can take pictures of them and if they do, their label will take care of it and no one will see it. I love how Harry is not paying attention to Taylor while looking the camera straight into its lens. Taylor on the other hand is also not even paying attention to him.
I already talked about this one, but I forgot to add something. Harry is not acting coy, he straight up denies that Taylor invited him for dinner. Then the host asks him if he would like to settle down and Harry replies that he would if he found someone he likes (Louis coughs). Literally one second after Harry said that, Louis coughs and the whole audience laughs. Louis was being not so obvious about the fact that he is Harry’s special someone. At 1:08
Link: https://twitter.com/haylorthread/status/996096298251096064
The next one is about Harry’s tattoos. He got ‘’Things I can’’ and ‘’Things I can’t’’ tattooed on his arms. Some people have the guts to say that he did that because he quotes Taylor. He covered one of them with The Holy Bible. A common Serenity Prayer is: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
It has to do with The Holy Bible, God and the quote. It is all the same. He did not copy Taylor Swift.
Harry tweeted ‘’Sickkkk’’ and put a link to matching couple tattoos. Louis and Harry got matching tattoos in December, it was the same kind of style, guess who did not get matching tattoos? Taylor and Harry.
So the song are about him, and she still want to date him after all of that. Sound toxic, but what do we know. We sail the healthy Larry ship 2019.
Her only confirmed ex is Conor Kennedy. So if she wants to get back with him that is no problem at all. She is talking about him and not Harry.
November 2012
You are going to see this ring everywhere when it comes to Haylor. It is their ‘key’ to the pr world. Just like the love banner tattoo. Here is one thing that makes no sense, Louis has a paper airplane tattooed. What about that? Anyway, this necklace thing is planned because she has had many more jewelry from her ex boyfriends. Whenever she wears those people start getting crazy over a possible comeback of their relationship.
Let us see, we have a so called ‘source’, a printed interview, pictures with the same fan, and tweets from people who are hired to do that. They want to make you think that Taylor and Harry spent the whole day there, but it is not like that. They just pose with the same fan to let you know they are both there and afterwards they leave. Printed interviews are never to trust, the label can put stuff in it in consultation with the interviewer/host. They sell their paper and without the artist saying it with words people will automatically believe it. The host or producer from the show needs consent from the label the celebrity is signed to. I am also going to make a special thread of Harry debunking/shading Haylor himself so you can see what he really thinks about it.
This is the same, all just rumors and lies. Think about what I said if you are having doubts. They all know it is going to cause a massive stir in the fandoms and still they do it. Celebrities like to create drama and some of them are paid for it. Ellen en Mario are basically the ‘Rihanna’ singing ‘’Happy Birthday to Louis Tomlinson girlfriend Eleanor.’’
It is the same show, just different puppets.
Ed Sheeran uses the same songwriters. I hope this person realizes that songwriters are paid to write songs with and for singers who paid them. It is their job. No wonder they share the same writers, they are paid to do it. Various artists pay them, this is literally no proof. He also wrote Happily.
I have the strong idea that Haylor shippers take everything she says and just put the tag ‘Haylor’ on it. How is this about Harry? She gives a hint about love, she just broke up with Conor, says she is seeing someone, Harry denies there is something going on and the rest too. This is about love in general.
December 2012
Taylor and Harry visit the zoo with friends. I just saw a few people saying he looks at her with so much love and passion. Let me get one thing straight, Taylor and Harry are just talking and sometimes laughing while talking. How is that love? You can clearly see their lips moving if you pur the pictures in order and make a gif out of it. Paparazzi takes lots of pictures in a few seconds, when you get so many pictures of Harry and Taylor looking at each other it could look like it was a very long moment, when in reality it was just 5 seconds. He does the same things with Nick, Liam, Niall, Stevie and other females. Examples of those misunderstandings:
(The pictures of Taylor in the green coat are from december, but it is the same debunk)
Harry is like grabbing her and waiting for her to move.
If you would like to you can watch this video if you did not already. Harry goes in the car and leaves Taylor all alone with the crowded fans, Boyfriend Of The Year.
youtube
What I love about these pictures is that Harry leans more towards the fan than his supposed girlfriend. He basically avoids any kind of bodily contact and puts his hands in his pockets. Smart move, love. Then in the the 2nd picture he puts his hand on the car seat instead of around his girlfriend. Again, trying to avoid bodily contact as much as possible. He is sitting in the corner.
They just pose next to each other like fans and that’s it. They are trying to bring the Haylor narrative alive. They have been spotted more and more. The fan is closer and more comfortable with Taylor than her actual ‘friend’.
Then they have a karaoke night with the rest of the 1D boys and Ed. Taylor is ignored by Harry the whole time. Then he lifts her in a crowd with tons of people while they have their cameras ready. He is being so awkward when lifting her, just lifting her and keeping as much distance as possible.
Do not worry, Louis is not letting any of that happen. Here we have Louis making sure Taylor does not get too close to his boyfriend by slowly coming between them and staying there. The difference before and after Louis came between Taylor and Harry is now bigger. Well done, Lou!
This picture came out in 2018, if I’m not wrong. It’s so funny, is it not? Harry is ignoring her while she is trying to put their backs pressed together. Harry is just lifting his hand and ignoring her, she is the one who is trying it and she failed. Oh and the timing of the pic is not a coincidence. Their Haylor hellfire has been extinguished and they are trying to light it up again, which is not working. I honestly feel like I have seen this picture before 2018, but that might just be me.
This whole hotel thing should be familiar, they still pull it in 2019. They make it seem like they sleep in the same room, when in reality they have both different rooms. This is to awake the illusion of them sharing a room together. Please note that they are holding hands, and they are in a supposed relationship. It makes what is coming next funnier than ever.
This tweet has not much to do with Haylor. Harry talked about ‘last night’ which means the night of 3 December 2012, Harry was talking about the MSG afterparty and not about being with Taylor since he completely ignored her. You can see Louis in the back of the picture.
On the 5th of December 2012, Harry is seen leaving ‘Taylors hotel’. We all know he slept in another room, they do it just to awake the illusion of them being in one room. Which is not true. The same day, Ed Sheeran is asked about Haylor and he gives a very interesting answer. The host says ‘’Is Taylor dating Harry Styles from One Direction?’’ Ed says ‘’I mean the papers are saying it.’’ and then he nods and laughs. He gave a gorgeous answer, he did not confirm it. The papers talk crap about everyone and he knows it, he stated facts.
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Then they attended Emma Stones birthday party and they ‘definitely looked like a couple’.’It is so hilarious that they are really emphasizing that. They know no one sees it, ‘they are not trying to hide it’ from what we have seen they hardly interact. I personally do not understand how people can ship this. Here we have the ‘mysterious source’ again, now we all know it is fake. A source can not know all of that, celebrities can have privacy and no one is allowed to tell stories about them. That is the ultimate tea.
Let’s play a game, it is called ‘spot Harry Styles’’, did you see him? No, because he is not with Taylor.
These pictures of Harry and Taylor leaving the party are so weird, he does not look interested in her at all. Just holding hands and dragging her along.
In this video you will see Harry nearing her at one point. Haylor shippers are speaking of him approaching her because he wants to kiss her, but that is again not the case. He is trying to portray/show something (he puts his hands on her and keeps a big distance and then he pulls his hands back and walks away funnily), he then walks away funnily. Around 1:36.
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On the 7th of December Liam and Harry are asked about Haylor. The interviewer asks Harry what the best birthday gift is for Taylor and Liam answers with ‘’Harry.’’ I love it when they mock Haylor. Then Harry gets asked about Haylor, the interviewer basically assumes they are dating and tells it to Harry. Then, my savage king debunks it. He says he ran into her at the zoo and….he did not even tell her that they went together and he basically denies the whole dating thing. He says ‘’I JUST ran into her at the zoo and…’’ So he makes it seem like he does not understand why those dating rumor are there. Rightly so.
Harry honestly never really cooperates with stunts at all.
The same day Harry and Taylor were seen at Z100 Jingle Ball. This is a misunderstanding, they never kissed. They might have danced, but solo. Here is a gif:
1. Taylor is dancing, solo. Harry is just as always not paying any attention.
2. Then, she holds him and hugs him whereas Harry stand stiff like a tree. He does not even wrap his arms around her. From what we have seen with Louis he hugs like a prince. In both gifs he hugs him and in both gifs Harry is standing stiff like a tree. She never kissed him.
3. After Taylor leaves Harry starts wrapping his arms around an older man. He is happier with an older man he does not even know that his fake girlfriend. I do get it though. He is so happy after she leaves.
They honestly need verified people to talk about them. Those people are hired, just like Rihanna and Ellen. It is for attention purpose only, and because those people are verified people will start to believe them. Why would a verified person lie, right? Well, because they are hired to say that just like stalkers. About the private jet, in 2012 a picture leaked of Louis and Eleanor in a private jet. Louis was sitting 1000000000 yards away from her. I know for sure it is the same way with Taylor and Harry.
Harry does not even hold her hand, she is just there. Here presence is only there, no one talks to her and Harry does not even talk to her let alone be near hear.
It is the same thing over again. A supposed eyewitness (please read back if you missed the debunk), affection we never see only hear stories of, picture with the same fan and one picture of Harry not paying attention to her whereas Taylor is wrapping her arms around him. Harry is not even holding her with his arms, he is just standing there. The distance between them keeps getting bigger and we all know why….who is going to be the first one to say goodbye! The fake affection they are talking about never happened, they could take a picture of Harry being as stiff as a tree but not a picture in which he was touching her bum or when they were fooling around? I hope they are kidding.
I’m going to ignore these ‘sources and eyewitnesses’ from now on because it is trash anyway. How is it possible they knew everything? Because their relationship is one big stunt for attention, that is why. In the picture with the birds Harry is touching her shoulder-to-shoulder because he is scared of her. He is afraid that if he moves closer to her he will vanish, he is smiling because of the bird flying away, cute. The last one is just a fan pic with sweet fan.
It’s Taylor’s birthday and a source knew everything. The cupcake store even posted pictures of it with a whole story around it, this is the same case as the ‘Eleano Taylor Swift cake.’ They have a picture, the cake is there and they just ordered it for one big stunt. Now you might be thinking that the ‘source’ is real and that the other things he/she said are also truthful. This is not the case either, because the whole story around it is fake. They just needed another story to sell and got a company involved in it. This is not the first time that they do that. The so called source knows everything again, for some they have proof (the pub) and for some they do not have proof at all. That is how they play their game, this makes you want to believe all of the things they say but you should not. It has also been confirmed by a big account back in the days that Taylor ordered the cupcakes herself. However I’m not sure about that, I do know that Harry did not order it himself and that he also did not pick it up himself.
Taylor and Harry were at a tattoo parlor together. Not to be a typical larrie, but he got the ship tattooed on his arm and Louis got the compass tattooed on him 18 hours later or earlier in the same style. Please do not try sailing a sea without a compass, you’ll get lost.
This is a fan who can talk about their location and does not get deleted which means she is suppose to talk about it. Honey, he never gives her a glance how are we supposed to agree with this. Plus, I love it when One Direction is together in a shop and the shop gets closed so no fan can mob them but whenever Harry is with one of his female beards the shops are always wide open for attention. Imagine if in some alter universe Harry and Taylor were really like this and he gave her heart eyes, than you would not know it from a fan. You would see it with your own eyes (from videos they made themselves), or you would not see it at all. They would be private, not being brought up in billion of interviews and parading around. I also have to add, if he truly loved her so much why has he never even confirmed his relationship with Taylor? saying ‘’yeah…maybe’’ is not confirming a relationship. There are some real fans who meet them too, so it is definitely difficult to pick out who is a liar and who is telling the truth. (Because of that I do have a little surprise for you all at the end of this masterpost.)
Harry looks so happy with his tattoo.
So hired people said they had ‘chemistry’, well Harry’s tattoo artist said otherwise. I do not know if this one has been debunked, I do not think so. Even a guys from TMZ said they have no real cheamistry. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlbZmumWQ90&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Back to the other stuff, even Gigi Hadid stated celebs can do stuff they want. I personally can not stand her, but even she said this. How come 1D’s relationships are ALWAYS highly publicized. If you will look underneath Gigi’s interview you can also see proof of stalkers being hired to pretend as fans in America (this does not mean they have not got one in the UK). It’s from Wikipedia.
They visit Taylors mother in LA. Lots of you think it is not possible for a label to drag family into their bearding mess. That’s wrong, they can. Underneath the picture you can see a message Rebecca Ferguson wrote a few years ago. She states that she is scared of the things they did to her and that she want to protect her family. The people also have ties to the family as you can see. In the article you can CLEARLY see the names of the people who are signed to the label Rebecca was/is. Dragging family into their stunting world is nothing new, it would be weird if two people were dating and you get pictures of them without their family. It would not look real, they drag the family in it for the stunt to look real and to make it look like they are super close, when in reality they just do what is asked: taking pictures and walking around so fans will spot them and tell you how happy they are.
Is it cute? You know what’s cute? The fact that this NEVER even happened. I honestly do not understand how Haylor shippers think this happened without checking their information first. Their ship is not a ship, it is a tiny,broken and nonexistent boat. Please look at the picture underneath this one, because that is the real one. Plus, when Liam asks about Haylor, Harry shakes his head. That says enough, you know. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGQZk9F6Dxs&feature=youtu.be
at 10:48
‘‘It is what it is’‘ is a reference to Louis’ tattoo. Harry laughs at that.
It is so comical that ever eyewitness, onlooker and source have to confirm they look ‘happy and in love.’ This means no one is buying the stunt and they have to make it look like they are so they tell lies. Do you genuinely think they are going to interview an onlooker and ask everyone how Taylor and Harry looked? We all know Harry can not stand Haylor himself. Anyway, they took pictures with fans and they were standing 400000 miles away from each other. Anyway Harry got injured and that is what Taylor wrote in Out Of The Woods. To make it look like a relationship she added some fake things in it.
They do not even sit close next to each other, which is funny because Harry almost sits on Louis’ lap each time they are sat next to each other. In the 2nd picture you can see that they do everything to keep the distance big enough for a whole Larry Ship to fit in. ;)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXFFRaSFGx4
The video is not interesting, you can see Harry eating a burger (cute) and they talk a bit.
What Haylor shippers see:
What I see:
This stunt has been recycled twenty thousand times already. Never forget that the 1st ski trip ever were from Larry together in 2011. The rest are just stunts.
The same rules apply to these tweets. They’re just like the other ones. No way possible that she spotted them/him in a hot tub, if she can tweet about it how about taking a picture? She only ‘saw’ Harry in the hot tub.
Harry shows his snowmobile injury off. 3 years later around this time, Taylor announced the music video for Out Of The Woods. In that song there is a verse in which she says ‘’ Remember when you hit the brakes too soon Twenty stitches in a hospital room.‘’
This is again one of the things she does to make it about Harry. It’s like one of those ‘key’ things for her to make it about Haylor. I just do not like it when she blames her pr relationships on her ‘ex-partner’ whereas we know it is not real.
Liam asked what happened to Harry’s chin via twitter.
Let us pretend this is no shade at all. He literally tweeted this in December when the Haylor Hell Fire was at its highest point. Well done, I was there and I love it.
Pictures like this one are to confirm that he left the country and then they can make a whole story around it.
On the 31st of December 2012, Taylor and Harry were photographed ‘kissing’ after her concert in Times Square. What I loved about this even was that he missed her performance, because he wanted to go to a Coldplay concert (We love a king). He also ‘forgot’ his passport and he tried to avoid the whole NYE thing. Harry is always looking with that fake smile/sadness when he’s with her. Look at the following pictures please.
He looked like he was broken inside and Taylor pressed on his wounds. He is broken inside and he is clearly not happy at all. You do not look like this when you are with someone you love.
Harry is literally turning his head the other direction and Taylor is trying to put her head closer to Harry’s.
Then the ‘kiss’ happens. First, I like to tell all of you guys that they were surrounded by tons of fans and paparazzi with cameras an phones in their hands. There is even a video of it. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1jttU1fY74
People say he is touching her bottom, I have not seen his hand near her bottom at all. They countdown and then Harry put his arms around her waist and they ‘kiss.’ No one has ever seen their lips touching, only the people who ‘were there’. Everyone was filming it, everyone. You can not tell me that no single soul on the side filmed their lips touching. Their lips did not touch, that is why there is no video of it. Everyone was filming their ‘kiss.’ How come people on their side did not film the actual ‘kiss’?
Also during their hug (in the video), he looked like this:
Does this look like a happy person who want to spend New Years Eve with Taylor? NO. This if to the people who think he hugged her ‘so fiercely’ and is happy with it. This is your debunk, he is everything but happy.
To back up my point about the fake kiss. This is a (really low quality) picture of them ‘kissing.’ However I do not think their lips are touching. He is definitely ‘kissing’ above her lips or next to her lips. It’s just like the Elouno This Is Us Premier ‘kiss.’ (If you will read the debunk about that kiss you can automatically aplly it to this one). I forgot to add that this whole kiss had been promoted the whole day, even before they ‘kissed.’
It really does not look like they are kissing, they’re just standing closely to each other. Their faces are not even pressed together so I think they’re just talking.
Then he pats her back with no emotion left on his face. You might think ‘’why would he be sad if he did not even kiss her?’’ Well, it hurts to do this and do not forget that he looked emotionless when he arrived. This reminds me of the car ‘kiss’ between Louis and Eleano. He also did not kiss her on the lips, but he looked right at Harry when he was done faking a kiss. It hurts to leave your loved ones and act with someone you do not like at all. We all know how sensible Harry is when it comes to stuff like this. He cries easily (hence Louis’ reaction in the car), Louis gets jealous easily.
In this gif he is just talking to her while being sad and he turns his head away quickly when he touches her nose with his nose.
Now I’m definitely sure he did not kiss her on her lips, more next to her lips. It does not matter because he looks sad anyway. He pulls back and looks immediately the other direction. Look how sad he is. You can sort of see his lips not touching her lips, more next to it. Pause the gif and looks at it frame by frame. The middle of her head is in the same line as the middle of her lips.
If you guys want to see Harry happily real kissing someone, here it is. This is how you (real) kiss someone you love/like/are friend with.
This is just sad, we know when Harry hugs someone (even fans) he wraps his whole arm around them and smiles. Please take a look at the examples. He hugs Louis (’his best friend’) better than his ‘girlfriend.’
(I just want to say that this Larry picture is one of my favorite pictures. It’s from 2010/2011 and I just love how happy Harry looks. Harry’s head fits perfectly in the crook of Louis’ beautiful neck. Louis’ brown hair is also sweetly in place. You can even see Louis’ arm muscles wrapping around Harry so tightly. This is what love is, nothing else. I think Louis even gave his vest to Harry, but I’m not sure of that.)
This is one of those examples in which fans are hired to lie or in which they just lie because they want people to believe in Haylor. He is moving his head away as far as possible. He is also uninterested, so how do they expect us to believe the kissed? If she is taking a picture anyway, why not one of them ‘making out’ ? This is exactly how you can spot the liars, do not fall for it my loves.
January 2013
They went to the British Virgin Islands and took pictures with fans for them to see that they were together. They sat there, keeping the space big enough again for The Larry Ship to fit in. Harry looked happy with those fans, probably because the stunt is ending, he does not look interested or happy with Taylor at all.
They FINALLY BREAK UP!!!!
Taylor is seen sitting alone in the boat, ready to leave. There will be no Haylor in the future, we’re done with that crap.
Whereas Harry Styles is finally happy in months of what seemed a big depression. He was spotted, the same day after their ‘break up’ chilling with friends in a jacuzzi. How come Haylor shippers do not remember this? Like what kind of energy does this radiate to you? Boyfriend of the year? Heaven, NO!
This was also the day Louis was spotted being super happy, he gained happiness, energy and life. The way his cute little jacket is wrapped around his tiny body is beautiful. God, I miss the time when he looked chubbier. It’s beautiful, his soft fringe is also the big cherry on top.
If you type in those letters of the tweet, you will see tons of headlines about Haylor. We all know she wrote the songs for Harry before they were something, Harry even denied their relationship, but dream on I guess. She also tweeted this to a fan once, so I do not see how this is a big deal. She should know while she is out there tweeting that, Harry was being super happy while visiting Necker Island (January 4/5). Your kind (Harry) is not bothered by their ‘break up’ at all.
What this Haylor shipper forgot to add is that while ‘ he was returning to London after his fake split with Taylor’ he went on vacation and looked the best. Plus, they make it seem like he was so sad in those pictures, but that is not true at all. He looks like a little , sweet, pretty and innocent deer caught in headlights.
This has nothing to do with the debunk, but it is so crazy. She has a ‘hickey’ on her boob from someone she just ‘broke up’ with. I do not get how this is possible in their minds, Harry does not give a crap about her, how do people still think she met up with him and did that. Plus, she shaded him at the award shows. She does not love him.
Taylor recorded a song called ‘All you had to do was stay’. People were really quick to judge it and claim the song to be about Harry. It was not. Taylor said she had a dream about her ex (which is hilarious). That is weird and shows how Harry does not care, only she does. Eve if it would be about Harry, it is fake. None of this happened, this could only happen in her dreams so….. conclusion: She and Harry never had something and Harry does not care for her in any way.
Then, after all her dreams about Harry and wanting him back she shades him by mocking his accent. She sings ‘’I used to think that we were forever ever and I used to say never say never…..so he calls me up and he’s like ‘I still love you’ (mocking Harry’s deep voice and accent) and I’m like ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy opening up the Grammy’s and we are NEVER getting back together, like ever.’’
Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuL12wL1Iyc
Seven days later Harry is of course asked about the Grammy performance. You guys need to know one thing. When a label does not want a client to talk about a certain subject, they tell the radio to ignore the subject or the interview will be stopped immediately. Here is the proof, I was kinda shocked when this happened. This means they wanted him to talk about it.
The interviewer asks ‘’Are you okay since the split with Taylor?’’
Harry says in a confident tone: ‘’I’m okay, thank you for asking’’
The the interviewer: ‘’Yeah?’’
Harry: ‘’Yeah I’m good’’ (we have seen that, Harry)
Then the interviewer asks: ‘’The Grammy performance, when she performed she kinda had the little bit where she did her little English accent at the end and a lot of people suggested that it was a dig at you. I just want to know how you feel about it.’’
Harry: “She’s a great performer and she always performs great. She’s always good on the stage. She’s been doing it a long time. She knows what she’s doing on stage. It was just another good Taylor Swift performance. It was good.”
He literally dodges the question so hard. He did not say anything about it, he just said she is a good performer. Something he only says about her in ALL interviews, I’m not kidding. He basically insinuated that she has a lot of experience (she has been doing it a long time), shading her fake exes. I mean she does that a lot, so I am not surprised.
He clapped and so did the whole audience. They really have to stop trying, it is never going to happen.
So Taylor posted this picture on insta in January 2013 and Harry posted his picture in December 2013. Now, Haylor shippers claim they spent time together and shared the same room. Which is completely weird, because One Direction and Taylor shared the same hotel. It is a luxurious and expensive hotel, a lot of celebs stay in that hotel. Plus, the table and the pole thing are not in Harry’s picture/ room view. They did not share the same room.
On 31 January 2013 Ed Sheeran talkes about Taylor and Harry, since he is a mutual friend. Ed is amazing as always and he says ‘’I’d rather not comment on that’’ then he tells an amazing story about Harry giving homeless people pizaa. That is so sweet, those people deserve some love. Plus, this is how you answering a question like this.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=37&v=9KETDQeDpK4
On 25 August, 2013 Taylor shades Harry again in front of public. While accepting her awards she says: “I also want to thank the person who inspired this song, who knows exactly who he is, because now I got one of these,” she said, holding her award. “Thank you so much!”
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnUV4NgItpk (0:45)
While she says that the camera quickly turns to Harry and the boys of One Direction. Louis is not happy, he is super mad, look at him biting his lip.The other guys also got in on the disdain. Here’s Niall saying “Horrible. I freaking told you” to Louis. Harry just chews his gum and just laughs at the camera, just like Zayn and Niall. Zayn just sips his tea like everyone else. I forgot to add that Louis refused to clap for Taylor, we all know why.
People think Harry is staring at her bottom in this picture which is a common mistake. He is not doing that, he is looking at her direction while blinking, Taylor is already behind him. Look at his eyes, they are not even in her direction.
This is once again a printed interview. I just never get the idea Haylor shippers have when it comes to their fake relationship. Harry literally said he was single at the time and they still make it about Haylor. Just because she wanted attention to put his love banner tattoo in the music video. Which is weird, because the media claimed it was about Harry and only printed interviews ‘confirmed’ it was about Harry. They make it seem like that, because she needs to sell her albums. However, she did mean Harry when dissing him at the VMA’s and she was talking about IKYWT. So she basically insinuated the song is about him herself. Which is insane, because they did not even had a ‘relationship’. They are just trying to fuel the Haylor Hell Fire.
In short: Harry texted someone and Taylor got a text and showed it to Selena and now people think Harry did that (I’m rolling my eyes). First of all, no one said they checked their phones at the same time, so how could you know something like this? It is such a reach. In the video Taylor looks nowhere (only at her date and behind Selena, Harry is sat completely on the other side.) she just talks to Selena and Selena just looks behind Taylor. None of them is looking at Harry, this is the best debunk of them all.
Link: https://twitter.com/haylorthread/status/997928258451763201
Taylor and Harry were pictured together with Ed Sheeran and someone else at the VMA afterparty. Remember what I said about pictures being released for a reason. This is just a picture, just like he takes pictures with fans. I just do not get how this is proof that they ‘hung out together’. Harry was asked about this and he said ‘’Yeah we went out for drinks with Ed and some friends and yeah….. it was good’’
In this picture the yellow area show what Harry is truly looking at. Taylor is literally sitting far from the places he is looking at. The other pictures are just trashy, because he is not looking at her at all in those.
I definitely think Harry just ignores her, he does not even pay attention to her.
Then, this happened. While 1D gave their speech Taylor said ‘’Shut the hell up’’. People thought it was meant for Harry and 1D. Ed cleared the rumors up. I do not know what to believe, she seems like a person to do that to 1D since she shaded him tons of times.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=19&v=TGYyoWY0lQY
So Liam said this in an interview . This does not mean that live interviews are real and always truthful. On the contrary, they are scripted most of the time. However it is really funny that Louis did not show up. It is even funnier that we’ve seen multiple moments of the boys being annoyed by Taylor. Link: https://twitter.com/swifttcreature/status/872318554447761409
Harry is asked about Taylor again. The interviewers asked what he would say to Taylor if he met her again, since he said she is a good songwriter. Harry dodges the question again and says ‘’That she is a good songwriter’’. He repeated the SAME thing he has been repeating the whole time when asked about TAYLOR. Harry also says they are ‘all good’. Something he has been repeating over and over again too. When Harry says that she’s a good songwriter, our little bitter Louis says ‘’You got any advice for her?’’ while smiling. Harry laughs at that. He just acts like they never had a fake relationship, and he does not consider it a relationship. That is why we love you too Harry. I also fogot to add that I love how Louis kind of shades her with his remark.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=7&v=4UzCPvSGr8U
Then somewhere in 2013 fans meet 1D and Harry asks what they were listening to, they reply with ‘’Taylor Swift’’. Of course Louis laughs as the first one. Harry just nods and laughs because of Louis. At 1:58
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=127&v=57Gg2QYnvMA
This makes it seem like he is smiling when Jonathan Ross says her name, but it is not like that. He was smiling already because of something that was said earlier. Then he just says ‘’yeah’. Then Joanathan asks if Harry is okay with Taylor and Cara hanging out and maybe talking about him. Then Harry says he is friends with them, because he thought Jonathan meant that.
This is also one of the examples, just like Ed, Liam and Niall. Courtney and Harry have hung out before. He was invited to a secret screening of hers. Harry is also friends with her ex husband. Ed Sheeran is also friends with Jennifer Aniston. Ed is Taylor and Harry’s mutual friend. That is why they ‘hang out’. They never hang out with the two of them, but in a group since Ed is friends with them. I honestly do not get how this makes Taylor and Harry a ‘couple’. They just hang out because Ed is there too. We have seen what Harry’s reaction is when it comes to Taylor or girl in general and dear darling, he is so distant.
To be continued in a Part 2…
#harrystyles#harry styles#harry#styles#taylor swift#taylorswift#taylor#swift#haylor#debunk#haylordebunk#haylnever#haylno#stunts#bearding#beard#beards#2012#december 2012#louis during haylor#louistomlinson#louis tomlinson#louis#tomlinson#louis hates haylor#louis hates taylor#jealouis#jealous louis#jealousy#vma 2012
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"Miss Americana" Director Lana Wilson on Capturing Taylor Swift, Mid-Transformation
By: Chris Willman for Variety Date: January 31st 2020
Lana Wilson was taking a risk - albeit a pretty good bet - when she set out to make what turned out to be “Miss Americana,” her new Netflix documentary. As Taylor Swift told Variety:
“When I began thinking about maybe possibly having a documentary-type thing happen, it was really just because I felt like I would want to have footage of what was happening in my life, just to have later on in my life, even if we never put it out, or even if we put it out decades down the line. When we brought Lana on board, I was pretty open with her about the fact that this may be something that I wasn’t actually ready to put out. So I think we began the process without a lot of pressure, because I didn’t necessarily think that it was an actual eventuality to put out the documentary.��
Wilson was too fascinated by what she was getting early on to worry much about whether her subject would sign off on releasing it. At the outset, she was catching Swift at the end of the “Reputation” album/tour cycle, when Swift was finding a more contented place in her personal life and finally exorcising Kanye-gate from her system. The star quickly moved on to the making of “Lover,” her most upbeat album, with Wilson getting fly-on-wall footage that captures the joy of creation and eureka moments in the writing process in a way few films ever have. And then things got more interesting altogether when Swift decided that the days she could afford to be standoffish about what was happening in the country had come to an end. The movie - and by now, it was a movie - had its third act.
Variety spoke with Wilson for the magazine’s cover story last week on Swift, prior to “Miss Americana’s” Sundance premiere. Here’s a breakout of more of that conversation.
There is some footage in the movie that goes back a few years that clearly predates your involvement. When did you start filming - was it during the “Lover” writing and recording sessions or the “Reputation” tour before that? I came on during the tour. She had been collecting bits and pieces of footage; she often filmed stuff with her own cell phone - songwriting stuff. Netflix introduced us, and we really hit it off the first time we met. She had watched my previous work, and I had admired her for years, not just for her music, but also the fact that she had written all of her own songs since she was 15, and that she’s the sole creative force behind the whole shape of her career. When we met, I remember being excited that she didn’t want to make a traditional pop star documentary. She knew that she was in the middle of a really important time in her life, coming out of a very dark period, and wanted me to collaborate on something that captured what she was going through that was raw and honest and emotionally intimate.
When we first talked about it, she immediately wanted me to bring my perspective as a director to what was going on with her now and to make a film that really had something to say. I think the first time we met, we talked for 20 minutes about narrative structure in documentaries, and we even talked about film score in documentaries. At one point she said that she didn’t like documentaries that are like propaganda, and I was thrilled to hear that. In my work, I take stories that are often told through sound bites and headlines and bring depth and complexity to them. My goal is always to reveal the humanity that’s beneath the oversimplification. And to me, there are few things more frequently diminished and reduced by others than female creative forces.
It could be seen as a feminist statement, or at least some kind of intention on her part, that she picked someone who’d made an abortion documentary (“After Tiller”). It could also mean that she was just more comfortable with a woman. I think that’s totally true. When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. But that said, even before meeting her, I could only imagine how much pressure and scrutiny she’d faced as a powerful and successful female artist. And I definitely sensed that those pressures would be ones that other people and especially other women and girls could relate to. Obviously, yeah, I’m a female artist working in a male-dominated industry. So although Taylor and I inhabit very different worlds, I figured that we’d have some shared experiences. And I also worked with an all-female crew, which I do think helped her feel comfortable right off the bat, and a small crew. When I met her, she hadn’t done an interview in almost three years. The first one she did was an audio (-only) interview with me for this film. So it was a big deal, and trust was a big part of that.
You had an all-female crew, but Morgan Neville’s name is on there as a producer, and he’s not a gal. [Laughter.] What’s his role in it? He was a part of the creative process, and it was wonderful to get to work with him, as a creative sounding board, from start to finish. On the crew, I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women, and not just the other way around! So that was the only exception to the all-female rule.
It had to have been a small crew, when you were filming the fly-on-the-wall creative stuff in the recording studios, sometimes in very small control rooms. It was often just me and one or two other people in the room with her, trying to keep the footprint as small as possible. You know, no one had filmed her writing songs before. That was some of my favorite stuff to film, but it was also the stuff where we tried to really be the most low-key presence possible. You’re just in a tiny room, and it feels so amazing to watch her get in the zone creatively. One of the most fun parts for me as a director is when it feels like you’ve been in the studio for enough hours that everyone is so relaxed that you really feel invisible in a wonderful, exciting way.
When she’s having the talk with her team about wanting to make endorsements for the midterm elections, which is maybe the most important scene in the film, it’s not clear if that is something you shot or if that was something that was on the spur of the moment, where she had someone get a camera in your absence. That was spur of the moment. So that was something someone on her team shot who was pretty good with the camera. That was very last minute. I’d been starting to work with her and talk with her before that, and I’d say, “If something’s happening last-minute that could be at all important or meaningful, film it with your cell phone, of if there’s someone around you that has a little DSLR camera or something, they could film it.” It allowed us to get really powerful, crucial scenes like that one that might’ve been hard logistically to get otherwise. And I love the personal quality of that material from especially the few little bits of stuff from her cell phone.
She told us she wasn’t sure she wanted to actually make or release a movie when filming started. Did she make that clear to you when it started? Like, this might be on spec, and might not come out? Well, it was less talking about the end result and more, honestly, just talking about what she was going through emotionally at that time and the kind of things that were on her mind. Then we’d brainstorm stuff that could be cool to film. I love the idea of filming really quiet, almost more mundane moments, because I think that ordinary/extraordinary contradiction that’s so central to the life of someone in the public eye is really interesting. I loved that moment early in the film where she’s alone in the car in the dark after the show riding to her hotel room - the idea of going from being on a massive stage in front of tens of thousands of people to being an ordinary person alone just going to bed at the end of the night.
She’s already been pretty candid with her fans. There are moments in the film where she’s shown as being annoyed with the fans and photographers gathered outside her door and that sort of thing. Do you think she felt okay with being portrayed as not being happy at all times? Oh yeah, totally. She’s a complex human being, and I think whether you like her music or not, if you watch this movie, you really get to know her as a human. And as you say, she writes so candidly in her lyrics about the hardest times, the times when she made mistakes. And that is what her fans love her for. But a lot of people don’t share their hard times. The most popular photos on Instagram are of weddings and babies, when what’s really relatable and what’s meaningful is connecting with someone over that time things weren’t perfect, or the friendship or relationship that didn’t work out, or the argument you had with your mom or something. You know, everyone wants to feel less alone in the more difficult experiences in life. And that’s one reason why they turn to art. And I think it’s why people watch movies. And the happy moments are meaningful when you’ve also been through the sad ones. Young girls need to see that their heroes are just as human as they are. And I think girls and boys of all ages could benefit from that reminder.
I want people to be surprised by it because I think that Taylor Swift is someone who everyone thinks they know. But I think if people start watching this film, they’ll realize they’re watching a film about this iconic artist deciding to live life on her own terms, and it’s a feminist coming of age story. I think they’ll be surprised by her sense of humor and her self-awareness, and they can appreciate the craft of songwriting, for instance. So I hope that even if people are not fans, that they’ll watch the movie and be really surprised and also feel like they’ve just met a complicated, layered human being.
Very few people at the superstar level have the gift of healthy self-awareness that she seems to have. Self-consciousness, yes, but self-awareness, that’s more rare. Yeah, it’s so true. I’m sure you’ve seen bits of the home movies in some of her videos in the past. When I looked at the home movies, what struck me the most about them is that she really always has been the same person. She’s been kind and generous and smart and imaginative and very hardworking since she was a girl. At age 11 she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. One of my favorite moments in the archives in the film is this clip of her, where she’s like in a diner and it’s just after the release of her first album, and she’s 16. Her childhood dream has just come true. And she tells the interviewer that she wakes up everyday being like, “Yes, this is happening.” But then she tells herself, “Now you have to figure out how to make it last.” That is so her. She had so much maturity and pretentiousness then, and she knew she wanted this to be her career and her life, and she wanted to write songs forever. It’s incredible to see a person at that age that self-possessed and cognizant.
At one point she says she wants to use her platform to speak out because she’s aware she won’t be in this position forever, where her opinions have some kind of import. Not that she’s predicting a major downfall, but she knows she won’t always have this attention. That’s undoubtedly true, but at the same time, she’s one of the only ones besides Beyonce that we would imagine being almost as big a star in 20 years, and not necessarily subject to the normal standards of diminishment of interest. She’s conscious of the historically short lifespan of female pop stars, and it’s so poignant when she says that. But it’s hard to know what will happen, though, because she issuch a trailblazer. I mean, there’s just been no one like her, and her fan base and the relationship she has with her fans is so unique, and, I mean, she’s already done so many things that no one else has done before — who knows what will happen in the future? She is cognizant of what’s happened in the past and what’s going to happen in the future … but it could be anything, because she’s different than anyone that’s come before.
We can hope we all live long enough to find out what a 50- or 60-year-old Taylor Swift is like. I love that idea too. I want to go to the arena tour of a 60-year-old Taylor Swift. I want to know what the songs she’s writing then are.
The last third of the film focuses on her decision to make a political statement and what comes after. It was a profound decision for her to make, and a multilayered one. In that, I saw this feminist coming-of-age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.
You didn’t actually have the “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” song in the movie, but that’s the song on the album that most speaks to her political turn. So it seemed like a good thing to title the movie after? It was cool because it’s obviously, yeah, a reference to this song she wrote that has political themes. It was interesting that when the documentary was announced, her fans instantly understood some of the themes the film would have, because of the song title. And then for me, even if you don’t know the song, I see the movie as in some ways looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart. So I like how the title evokes that, too.
You have the twin moments of disappointment in the movie. Early on, you have the Grammy disappointment, and then later there’s the midterm result disappointment. Those are the parallel scenes, almost, where she’s having to deal with the results not turning out as she planned and one of these ultimately being more important than the other. I’m glad you noticed that. That means a lot. One thing that I think is amazing about her is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammys news, this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say “That wasn’t right.” She’s like, “Okay, I’m going to work even harder.” And I think it’s amazing how you see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. Then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into this song (“Only the Young”). It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs. You get to actually witness that in both cases.
Were you surprised that she addressed having had what could be described as an eating disorder? She seems hesitant to use that term but finally does. She’s been open about so many things, but that’s not something that she’s revealed. No, that’s one of my favorite sequences of the film. I was surprised, of course. But when you hear her talk about it, I love how she’s kind of thinking out loud. And yeah, she’s an icon of beauty, but even for an icon of beauty, as she articulates so beautifully, women are in this double bind situation. It’s impossible for anyone to meet every standard of beauty. It’s an impossible situation. And every woman will see herself in that sequence. I just have no doubt. And I do think people will be really surprised by it.
I tend to be clueless about these minor shifts in weight or body size, until people point them out en masse. It never would have occurred to me that she was any less thin on the “Reputation” tour until I started seeing comments about weight gain. But there are those who have their antennae out for the slightest change, and often it’s women, maybe it’s because you’re under that scrutiny yourselves. But you can also just not notice people being really skinny, because we’re all so accustomed to seeing women on magazine covers who are unhealthy skinny, and that’s become normalized. I think it’s interesting what you say about what you read during “Reputation” about her weight, because you really can’t win. There is a moment in the film where you see that part of the media backlash she experienced during 2016 was people saying, “Oh, she’s too skinny.” People complain if you’re too skinny, and if you’re not too skinny, you’re too fat. It’s incessant, and I can say this as a woman: It’s amazing to me how people are constantly like “You look skinny” or “You’ve gained weight.” People you barely know say this to you. And it feels awful, and you can’t win. So I think it’s really powerful to see someone who is a role model for so many girls and women be really honest about that. It’s a brave thing of her to do, and I think it will have a huge impact.
Her interactions with Kanye West are such an essential part of the story, but that’s not a name that has really ever escaped her lips publicly since 2010; she’ll say “a person” or something euphemistic if she has to address it. So I was in suspense to see whether or how much it would come up in your film, given how little capital she wants to give this guy in her life. It’s a crux, twice, of her journey of self-acceptance, but it’s easy to imagine her not wanting it in the film. I think it’s an important part of the story, but I wanted to position… Like, with the 2009 VMAs, what was surprising to me when I asked her about it was that she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, and she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was. That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before. And it meant a lot more to me because it made more sense in the context of her being this extraordinary young artist who is doing so well, and who, like so many performing artists, loves applause. And then she is on stage [still as a teenager] and it felt like all these people were booing her. When you put it that way, it’s so much more relatable to me, and it’s understandable to anyone, because we all want people to like us. And being on stage with a giant crowd booing would be horrible for anyone. So we tried to use it in a way that showed it in a slightly different light than people have seen before... We all care about what people think about us. It’s not a celebrity problem. It’s a universal one. It’s something everyone goes through, and I think the difference is that with Taylor, it plays out on a massive international stage.
At the outset, you’ve got her in voiceover talking about how she wanted to be the good girl and be accepted. And in the end, she is a good girl, so maybe that’s not a bad thing to want to be, but there are gradations of that. She’s played around with bad girl archetypes in the “Reputation” imagery and songs, but it was role-playing to a degree. Where do you think she ended up on the scale of all that? She starts out as a good girl and she ends up as a good girl who’s decided to speak out. You know, we live in a society in which girls are taught that other people’s approval is of paramount importance to our self-worth. “Do they like me? Was I nice enough? Are they mad at me?” Every woman I know is constantly asking herself these questions. So it’s so relatable in that way. But it’s not about not being a good person. I think that the arc in the film and what Taylor went through was letting go a little bit of what other people think of her, deciding to live on her own terms, and to put her own values first. The transformation that you see is going through this period where she lets go a little bit of that. She’s a good girl speaking out now, in a way. You can’t win everyone over. No one can. I think she’s really accepted that in a deep way.
#this is a somewhat lengthy interview but well worth the read...#Lana Wilson#interview#variety#Taylor Swift: Miss Americana#taylor swift#about taylor
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— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.
hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)
general info
full name: jolie drew madison
nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads
date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)
zodiac: leo
sexual orientation: bisexual
birthplace: chicago, illinois
occupation: musician
hogwarts house: slytherin
mbti: enfj
suite #: 314
tw: drug use
past
born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.
as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.
music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious.
jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.
she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern.
by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.
from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again.
jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around.
she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.
she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around.
probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati.
present
she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.
career wise, think marina, l*na — more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.
personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers.
being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.
has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.
has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face.
her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).
if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.
i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.
plot ideas
this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!
jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀
meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body
physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system
exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun
jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie
someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw
maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me
a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for
gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise
jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast
maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason
and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*
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BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]
New? Read here! Then here!
Part 1 - Part 2
Chapter 10.75: It’s Vinegar- Wha?- It’s Vinegar, Pussy
I’ve been taking notice of the servants, they all have distinct features and some of them seem to serve a particular family member when they come around. Which leads me to think that this servant that took the picture probably knows the most about the house. From what I remember from the hologram, this servant is male presenting with light skin, sun spots, salt and pepper hair with a very pronounced nose. Problem is, I haven’t seen him.
I had some afternoon tea by myself in the parlor as uncle Tensei did some calls to our extended family. Usually I hate having tea time, because it makes me feel like a pompous piece of shit rich boy and I prefer coffee anyways. But I took the tea this time to observe the servants. I learned that they all gather in the kitchen at 8pm to gossip before the non-live in servants have to leave for the day. So I snuck down to the kitchen to listen in.
“...Can you believe I served afternoon tea again! Ugh, when will I forget he’s dead now?!”
“I saw, nice save that you served it to Iwata-chan.”
“Man that kid beefed up! He used to be so timid and never show his power. But I saw the way he levitated those antiques with ease, kid is like his mother.”
“Maybe we’ll get to see more of the family now that he’s dead?! The mother is just so pleasant to be around.”
“Too bad Thad-kun won’t be here to see them spend more time at the estate. He loved Itati-sama and Tenya-sama.”
I peeked my head in “Who’s Thad-kun?”
The staff yelped and jumped at my sudden appearance.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” I bowed in forgiveness “But I couldn’t help but to overhear that there’s a servant that isn’t here anymore?”
“Yes, Thaddeus was one of the oldest servants here” spoke one of the female servants “he was the previous head of estate’s favorite servant, from Thad’s record, he was about 20 when the previous head of estate inherited the estate. Since then, Thad was in service of him and only him.”
“Yea, Thad-kun passed two years ago of the flu in his private quarters” spoke one of the chefs “Poor man didn’t have any family or children, just spent his whole life serving the Iida family. But he adored all the family that married in and the children, he took pictures of all the children when they’re newborns and puts them in this scrapbook.���
“Oh yea the scrapbook! Pretty sure it’s in the parlor bookcase” chimed in a younger servant “We hid it from the old head of estate, we were scared that he might destroy it or something. Anything to preserve the memory of our friend.”
“Yup, all of us feared that old man. But Thad-kun knew how to calm him and never missed a single tea time” said the chef “We have his journal in the parlor book case as well. There’s notes on what that old man liked in case he wasn’t around to serve him and we dip into it when anything comes up.”
“Hmm, I just might crack into them” I pondered “Thank you for sharing! Sorry for interrupting again, I’ll be taking my leave.”
“Any time Iwata-chan!” said all the staff as they waved bye to me.
I float my way to the parlor, trying to not make noise to catch the attention of my uncle or the other servants that have night duties. I search through the books to find an old green leather photo album and a worn black journal. I took the books to my room to look them over, the album had so many pictures of couples and babies with their names neatly written underneath the photo. It was so organized that I could trace back to who was my great-grand father! Apparently I came from a side branch family and that theres 4 branch families and one main, but the main family didn’t marry and had children to maintain lineage. So great grand uncle was the last one of the main family. I only know of one other branch family, the other two are a mystery to me. Getting to the end of the album, I put it to the side and opened up the journal. I get to an interesting part that reads:
March 14th,
I helped Iida-sama take down portraits in the Lineage Hall. He’s asked me to burn them but I don’t have the heart to do so. When he left for work, I hid them in the West wing linens closet. I can only hope he will forgive me someday. Erasing these people and only keeping the heroes this family is the work of a tyrant! Mothers, daughters and non-engine sons are to be celebrated with their hero relatives. May the next heir see the light and I’ll unearth the family hidden history.
The west wing linens closet?! Such a place exists?
-The next day-
“Tio, what’s the agenda for today?” I asked after breakfast.
“Today I’m going to check in with the agency on the phone” responded Uncle Tensei “then talk to the gardeners, then we plan for a welcome ball.”
“Oh uhhhhh can any of those things wait until tomorrow?” I got timid over the full schedule of things “because I found an important clue regarding the portraits.”
Uncle Tensei looked at me with intensity “The agency can wait, show me what you found.”
I showed them the journal entry “...so do you know wheres that linens closet?”
“Hmmm the West wing is used to store the decorative pieces of the estate for Balls or other events” pondered Tensei “Nobody in the family would think of finding something that important there since it’s a servant accessible area...”
We looked at each other and activated our arm engines to zip to the west wing. It was like we shared the singular brain cell at that moment and it was telling us to stop being civil and zoom. And sure enough, there was the portraits! Still in excellent condition and in their original frames. There were some without frames and they were portraits of the women that married in the family in the recent decades, the most recent one was of my mom. I looked at the portrait and was stunted by the artist’s capture of her natural beauty. The way they painted the flower crown and her curls, the exact shade of medium tan skin, the detail of the rebozo on her shoulders and the crisp white of the traditional dress. She was so young in this portrait and it made me wonder when this was taken.
“Oh my I remember when this one was painted” chuckled Uncle Tensei as he caught me gawking at the painting “Your dad had this arranged for your mom’s 24th birthday, months before they got married. These are usually done with traditional wear and since your mom isn’t Japanese, she showed up in that dress and shawl. All the women in the family were fawning over how beautiful her traditional dress was. The artist was so inspired by the flowers in her hair that he had he pose in the garden, making her portrait the only one painted in an outside setting.”
“Wow, she had that type of power over others huh?” I said in awe.
“She didn’t want to at first but the family painter convinced her that she was already the first ethnic woman to marry into the family, may as well make the portrait as unique as possible” a frown slowly crept onto his face “But then great grand uncle wanted the portrait scraped because she wasn’t in kimono and that she looked unkept with her down down and no makeup. Honestly, I feel like he didn’t want Tenya to marry her because of her ethnicity but turned a blind eye on that because she was a CEO and wanted to asset the company. Your dad had this whole plan to make a garden for your mother to frolic in when he gets the estate, with lots of flowers and fruit trees OH and the lily pond! It was going to take up like half of that empty lawn space in the middle.”
I looked at the portrait “So much fuss over this woman.”
“But she was worth it. Look at all the things she contributed to the family!” He started to describe “She doesn’t see it but she’s a blessing to us. We needed someone outspoken and bold to challenge great grand uncle’s tyrannic ways.”
That stayed with me for the rest of my time at the estate. I didn’t know what to think of my mom anymore, yes she’s amazing but she kept an important part of history from me and who know who else?! Finally, after 6 days of tolerating it, I was able to go home! And just in time! It’s the day before Christmas Eve and Lili is flying in today.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” asked Uncle Tensei as I take my bags to the front door “I don’t have any business to attend to today.”
“Naw Tio, I’m good” I sigh tiredly “I’m just a little sick of spending time together like this, as much as I love you as my uncle” I float my bags “I just wanna go home on my own and reflect on things.”
“I understand, every young man needs their time alone” Tensei smiled warmly “Have a safe journey home, see you in a few days.”
I wave good bye “Bye bye tio!” I turn my head to the servants that gathered around “Bye bye everyone else! Thank you for helping me find the critical clue in the portrait mystery!”
Everyone bid me good bye and safe travel until I was out of sight. From there I took a short train trip and two buses home, picking up a few interesting things along the way that I could gift. In total, it took about 3 hours to get home. Whole time I was just thinking of the ways I was going to confront mom about what I learned. The ways I could say how I feel, the ways she might react...I don’t know what to expect! And I’m super nervous. I stood at the front door for maybe 5 minutes because of how nervous I was! Finally mustering the courage to open the door with my eyes closed, the air of baked goods hit me first.
“I’m home” I announced myself, holding my breath to whoever answers.
“Iwata, you’re home” yipped the robo dog as it trots into view “Did you know it’s been 222 days since you’ve last been home?! I missed you very much and so has everyone else.”
I bent down to pet them “Has it? It feels longer than that” I booped their nose “I missed you too boy.”
“Mom is in the kitchen, Dad is picking up Lili at the airport, Hanaka is at her friend’s house and Tensei is practicing with their group” listed the robo “Everyone should be home before 7pm for dinner...it is now half past 4.”
I look at the clock thats mounted at the entrance to confirm the time, then looked down at the shoes. Mom’s were there in their usual spot and I kicked off mine in their usual spot. Now it feels like I’m home. I slowly made my way to the kitchen, and there she was, taking cookies out of the oven in her iconic floral apron.
“Mom? I’m home.”
“OH! Iwata! I didn’t hear you come in!” Mom squealed before setting down the hot tray to embrace me “I thought your were coming home tomorrow?!”
“Nah I’m sick of looking at Tio and doing rich people things” I gagged to drive my point “I left late morning and took public transport. I just really wanted to come home.”
“I understand mijo, I probably would’ve done the same” she pursed her lips and placed her hand on my face “Why don’t you settle back in? I’ll have some food ready for you if you’re hungry.”
My stomach growled in comedic timing “Heh, okay. I’ll go do that.”
My side of the room stayed untouched, as expected. Tensei was a good boy and doesn’t go through my things. I slammed myself face first into my bed and screamed into my pillow. GOD I missed my bed and the comforts of home! As I unpacked, I remembered what I was going to do and dreaded having to bring it up in casual conversation with her. I hid the device in my closet shelf, away from Hanaka’s prying eyes. When I finally showed myself downstairs, mom had my plate of food ready at my spot on the nook.
“How was things at the estate? Tensei hasn’t told me much other than it’s been busy.” Mom said as she washed her hands “Oh that reminds me! The school called tell me that you missed some finals and they’re letting you make them up the weekend before school resumes.”
I sat down “Things were weird mom. I learned way more than I asked for” I sighed and picked up my fork “I never want to be that rich and be without family! Did you know that the oldest butler hid the family portraits that the old man took down?! I didn’t know you had a portrait done with them.”
“You found it?! I thought that old man for sure destroyed it!” gasped Mom “It was a beautiful painting and a very sentimental art piece to your father. He wanted to keep it if the old man didn’t approve it to be hung in the estate, but before he could ask, it was gone! Or so we were told by the artist.” She sat at her spot to listen to me “What else?”
In between bites of chilaquiles, I told her of my time and who I spoke to. I tried to bring up what I wanted to confront to her about, but that look in her eyes and all her attention made me want more of her...I missed my mom and I as torn between all my emotions I was feeling. Wish I didn’t have to do this. Everyone came home and we were finally a full house. It felt so good to be in their company again, I didn’t even mind all the smothering this time! Suppose the confrontation has to wait.
-The next day, at breakfast-
“Damn B, it’s just spam and eggs with toast” said the twins, looking at Lili and me have a breakdown over our food.
Lili wipes her eyes “I KNOW! I have to cook for myself every meal” she pointed at her toast “I have to wake up at 6 in the god forsaken morning so I can buy bread like a peasant woman because there isn’t any chain grocery stores where I live in France!”
“I haven’t had a single decent meal since I lived in the dorms” I held my toast up gently “F in the chat for the toaster in the dorms that Beizu tore apart for parts in August.”
Lili held her toast up with me “F”
“Yall are so fucking weird” Hanaka said with a groan “You don’t see Oro and I do this shit.”
“Don’t make fun of your older siblings” scolded Dad with an arm chop “They’ve had a tough time being away from home. You’d understand once you have to cook for yourself everyday.”
“ANYWAYS! Mom, who’s coming tonight?” cut in Tensei.
“Oh ummm, Mr Hitoshi and his husband. Aunty Mimi with Nikita, uncle Jin, Mei and Beizu, Mr Tokoyami and Petti, the Ojiros” listed Mom “Aunty Midnight, Hoshi and the Midoriyas. So more people than usual.”
“Aw abuela and abuelito aren’t coming this year?” responded Tensei with a pout.
“They’re coming for abuelita’s birthday, so don’t get all pouty mijo” assured Mom “But after breakfast, we gotta get our butts in clean mode because Mr Hitoshi and his husband are coming at 3pm, they’re dropping the kids off at their grandparent’s then coming straight here.”
And so I got back into the swing of things, my winter chore is cleaning the bathrooms and making sure they’re fully stocked with toiletries. I was done before our first guests were supposed to come, so my mind raced with how I was going to talk to mom as I showered.
“You decent?” knocked Lili at my door.
“Yea, come in” I said as I was drying my hair “What’s poppin’?”
She threw her arms around me and squeezed me “I just wanted to come in and hug you” she pinched my arms “Damn boy, UA beefed you up! I couldn’t tell under your baggy sweaters.” She laughed “But forrealzies, how much did you inherit?”
“Straight to the point huh?” I leaned in to her ear “2 million dollars and all the old man’s collectables.”
“Shut the fuck up!” gasped Lili “So you and tio were the only ones on the will?! That’s pretty wack, I’m the oldest and dad is literally that man’s family!”
I sighed “It’s complicated but I’ll say that it all has to do with mom.”
“Damn, but what are you going to do with the money?” asked Lili curiously.
“Might buy myself a house and go to college, or save it if I get a really good job out of high school.” I flop onto my bed “Lili, do you ever feel like mom has been hiding something from you?”
“Yea, it’s a given.”
I turn my head to face her “Wait what?”
“It’s a given. I’m sure mom hid things from us to protect us or because it’s none of our business” She responded “She’s a reasonable person, maybe she’ll tell us eventually when she’s ready to tell us. I’ve been curious of mom too when I was in high school. Nothing made sense and I felt like maybe I wasn’t going down the right path, so I asked her what she did and it opened up her past. After that conversation, I had more respect for her and felt like I can be more open to her about what I’m curious about.”
“Do you think she’ll answer me if I ask her something?” I felt my stomach tie itself into knots “I learned so much about her from other people that I’m not sure if we know the same person.”
Lili put her hand on my back “She’s our mom, no matter what, she’ll love us.”
That made me feel so much better about what I was about to do. I took my calming breaths at the base of the stairs before facing mom in the living room. She was having some down time after slaving over the pot of Pozolé and Ponché, her face still red from the heat of the pots.
“Hey mom, ummm mind if I ask you something?”
“Sure mijo is everything okay?” responded Mom as I sat down in the arm chair adjacent from the couch “You seem kind of stiff.”
“I’m just nervous” I responded “I just... I learned alot of things about you these past months. And I have so many questions that I’m afraid of knowing the answers too.”
“What is it? You can ask me anything” Mom said, looking attentively “You have my full attention.”
It hurt to see her like this, especially with what I had to say.
“Why did you hide about the death of Beizu Iwata?” I asked, looking at her dead in the eye.
Her face didn’t budge from her expression “I didn’t? His death is public information-”
“Stop LYING TO ME!” I yelled “You know what I mean! He was Bei’s dad and you couldn’t save him, and you’re guilty of your incompetence so you had me to give his son a friend. And that’s my purpose isn’t it?! I’m just some living plaything!”
“Iwata why would you say such a thing! I didn’t-”
“SHUT UP I’M NOT DONE TALKING!” I raised my voice “You named me after him, I’m here to just fix your mistake aren’t I? And what about your lovechild with Mr Hitoshi?! Oh and not to mention on why you came over here alone at 15 years old!” I felt myself become tense in this mix of rage and the verge of tears “It’s like I don’t even know you! WHO ARE YOU?!” I felt the hot tears run down my face “and why are things so complicated?”
Mom was white as a ghost and frozen on the couch. And my yelling got the attention of my dad.
“Iwata El Roca Iida! What is the meaning of this!” demanded Dad as he approached us “You dare to yell at your mother in that tone?! What has gotten into you? I-”
Mom held her hand up, commanding dad to stop talking. She then got up, stood in front of me and got on her knees for the deep bow. I’ve never seen her do this before and I got scared.
“I’m sorry Iwata, please forgive me for all my mistakes” she lifted her head to show the tears creeping down her face “I know I’m not a perfect mother and I’m a very flawed human with a very troubled past, but please let me explain things.” She took a deep breath to stabilize her breathing “I named you after Beizu Iwata, he’s one of the few people that I trusted to run the company. He poured his everything into the company and I wouldn’t be as successful without him. His death devastated me, I chased after him when he ran back inside the burning building. When I begged him to get to safety and to leave everything behind, he looked at me and touched my stomach before breaking the 6th floor window to throw me out with a box in my arms. Of course somebody caught me before my body reached the ground and he reappeared a few minutes later. After his death, I learned that I was 2 months pregnant with you, he saved both of us mijo. If I stayed any longer, I risked losing you and I don’t think my heart could take another infant death.”
“Another infant death?” my eye widened “No, don’t tell me-”
“I’m afraid so” She tried really hard not to lose her composure “I lost my first baby that I had with Mr Hitoshi, I wanted to have them so badly. You don’t know how much it hurts to not have a family when you still need them, so you make your own. But it hurts even more when you lose the family you failed to build.”
“Ita, please stand up” gently begged Dad, on the verge of tears “Please love, you don’t have to re-live the trauma. It’s okay.”
“No Tenya, I have to say it. How will we move forward if I don’t say what happened in the past?” She couldn’t look at us and kept her head down to face her lap “I came here to protect my family...” She told me the whole story of what happened in America and her decision that changed her life forever “...And that’s my burden to bear. I wish things didn’t have to be like this and I could be with my family and made my dreams come true back home. I dedicate my life to making sure nobody has to every go through what I went through unless it’s their decision.” She looked at me “I understand that you might not want to associate with me after all this, but just know that I love you so much. I wanted to have you, to nurture you, to teach you that you are free to be whoever you want to be, to love whomever you want” Her expression was full of pain, like it was bottled for years and it’s now surfaced “I know of all the bad things that could hurt you and I shouldn’t let one of them be me. And I’m sorry that I have.”
I felt like the villain, making my mom re-live her trauma and tell me she’s a bad mother. She’s not a bad person, she’s lived a life full of tragedy and we’re the one good thing that went right. And after all that, she still has the capacity to tell me she loves me? I really don’t deserve to be her son. I levitated her up and ran into her for a tight hug.
“I’m sorry” I sobbed “I didn’t know! And I feel awful! I just thought that maybe-”
“It’s okay baby” She shushed me, stroking my hair “No more bad feelings, no more deceit. If you want to know something, don’t bottle it up, just tell me and I won’t turn you away.”
“Okay mom” I held her tighter “I’m sorry I ruined Christmas.”
“You didn’t ruin Christmas Iwata” chuckled Mom through her tears “Your tia set the Christmas tree on fire when I was like, twelve, and it burned all the presents underneath it.”
“Never mind that actually sucks” I laughed, pulling away from her “Then is everything cool?”
“Hmmm, I wouldn’t say that” Mom said, giving me her iconic career ending face “I cleared up and explained myself, now it’s your turn.” She levitates me so I wouldn’t run “Care to explain your little academic double life?”
“Huh? What are you talk-” It hit me, she knows about my double program enrollment “Oooooh, oof.”
“We’ve known since June” Dad spoke up with his arms crossed “Nurse Eri told us when she called to discuss your health exam. We talked to the school to confirm, so theres no use in lying your way out of this one Iwata.”
I looked at my parents and sighed in defeat “Fine, I enrolled myself in the Hero and Intel course after your Great Grand Uncle told me he was going to pay for my tuition. So to spite him later, I was going to show him that I got both and decide to be an agent instead of a hero to break the streak of heroes in the family.” I felt like a trapped animal awaiting death “He insulted my family and I used my favoritism as my upper hand to get back at him that I am my mother’s son and so what?! Fuck that viejo and his hateful ass, I’m half latino!”
“You really are your mother’s son” said Dad in disbelief “It’s like looking at your mother when she was your age, same pettiness and pride!” He cleared his throat “But that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to punish you for lying to us on why you’re always stressed! You know better than to overwork yourself.”
“And on top of that, I had someone on the inside tell me about the device and the old school files” Mom added “So you peeked and meddled into my personal business ey?! And all you did was hurt yourself. We have no choice but to issue capital punishment to you AND Beizu.”
I gasped “You leave him out of this! He’s innocent!”
“Can’t do, he’s your accomplice” Mom pulled out her phone to show me texts “One of the perks of having friends that work in a school is that you have watchful eyes on your children at all times.”
“Damn you got us” at that moment, I knew I was about to hate my life.
“We’ll come up with a group punishment later, but we agreed that you’re to be sentenced to house arrest for the rest of the winter break” Mom crossed her arms “AND we’re taking away cursing privileges, starting now.”
I gasped “NOOOO! Anything but capital punishment!”
The doorbell rang, it was our first guests.
“Hey I brought- oh are we interrupting something?” Mr Hitoshi said walking into the living room.
“Not at all! Just issuing punishment” Mom puts me down and turns to the two men “Iwata was just talking about you Hitoshi!”
“Oh yea? About what?” chuckled the purple haired man as took a seat.
Mom motioned to me “Iwata, care to share with him?”
I gulped the guilt lump I had in my throat “I know about your and my mom’s baby and their death was the reason you left my mom.”
Mr Hitoshi’s face turned white “How did you- There’s no way!”
“He got real nosey and hurt his own feelings” Mom summarized it “Oh you brought the saké! Bring the cups out Tenya!”
“What else did you learn Iwata?” asked Mr Neito.
“I learned that you, um, did the deed with my mom” I cringed “Many times, in the dorms and a few times in the workrooms at school.”
“YOU WHAT?!” screamed Dad with a tray of specialty drink ware.
“Oh don’t act surprised Tenya!” Mom put her hands on her hips “It was totally obvious! I lost my virginity to him. And I rewarded him with intimacy after training and in turn, became a decent person.”
“Yup, sorry Tenya that you got my sloppy seconds” responded Mr Nieto unapologetically “But as I said at your wedding, good for you that you got a woman that can really spice things up.”
“I thought you meant that she’s a good cook!” Dad defended himself “Not that you two had a thing in the past?!”
“Join the club, I didn’t know either until she dropped off the wedding invite” Hitoshi said as he poured the saké “But I’ll drink to that!” He handed each of us a little cup of the alcohol and raised his glass “To Ita and her bomb pussy game, it was the one thing I missed the most.”
“Kampai!” cheered everyone but my dad and I.
I downed my cup and held it out again “Imma need another cup so I can forget that chief.”
I waited patiently for Beizu to come so I can hold his hand as we get flamed my our moms with the group punishment. And when he did, his face was puffy from crying and we just held each other for the brief moment we had before getting flamed. Our mom’s agreed that the group punishment was no sleepovers the entire break and one week of intense training with aunty Mimi. I didn’t know what to do, other than go up to my room with Beizu for blanket fort time.
“Iwa, we were so wrong about things” Beizu said softly as he put his head on my chest “but I’m happy it wasn’t that way. I couldn’t imagine a life without you, it’s the one thing I’m certain about.”
I smiled and stroked his hair “Me too, we’re two halves that can’t be left incomplete.” I thought about my inheritance “When we get older, would you go on a vacation with me or co-own a house with me?”
Beizu thought about it for a minute “Hmm, I’d co-own a house with you. Because then we can spend everyday with each other.”
“What if we do both?”
“Even better but I’m just thinking of all that money we’d need to do that” explained Beizu “the house is a better investment.”
“Okay, say I inherited 2 million dollars and I want to spend it on us, now what would you say?”
His eyes widen “You did not just inherited 2 million?!” Beizu was in disbelief “I’d probably just marry you at that point. Hell, lets get married right now!”
I laughed and brought him in for a hug “Let’s get married and spend all of our money on pillows and our favorite foods. Living easy for the rest of our lives.”
He held me tight “That’s my dream, to be with you forever.”
So maybe Christmas wasn’t ruined by me and I was just being latino-in-a-telenovela dramatic. I feel so much more like myself now. Year two of this shit is really happening!....wonder if it’s gonna rock my shit.
Chapter 10.75, End
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#bnha#mha#self insert au#book 3 chapter 10.75#not canon#will update regularly#ask me anything#//Palma-sama Speaks#Iwata fucked around and found out really hard this time! But finally the confrontation!#Not gonna lie... I cried writing the forgiveness part and I'm a big baby!#I hinted a few things that will show up toward the end of this book...yall gonna go feral over it#Lili is back for a bit bc I know she's some of yall's fave. If you're confused on who she is plz read Book 2 to get acquainted with her#A nice soft moment with the boys to close off the arc uwu bc the plot gets heart wrenching after this lmao#chapters are still on an inconsistent schedule bc school is continuing to kick my ass... F in the chat for my sanity
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*originally posted on Instagram on 4/13/20*
These are my top 10 favorite albums from the 1st quarter, January-March, 10-1.
10. Everything is Beautiful & Everything Sucks - Princess Nokia
This double album was my first time listening to Princess Nokia, and I’m glad I checked it out. It shows so much of her personality, and the fact that the two sides of the album are two different attitudes adds to that personality as well. The production is pretty well done, but the highlight on here is Nokia’s witty, biting, sarcastic, and funny bars that are showcased throughout the project. There’s a lot of great music on this album and the variety shown in the 2 sides of it make it unforgettable to me.
9. Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa
Future Nostalgia is another great example of 80s trends coming back into pop culture. The songs on this album are uptempo and infectious. Energy just radiates from every aspect of Future Nostalgia, from Dua Lipa’s vocals to the catchy-ass instrumentals. Every one of these songs is an earworm: the hooks are so well-written, simple but effective. And a lot of the songs on here have messages of female empowerment, which is always nice to see. All in all, this is a really nice project from Dua Lipa.
8. color theory - Soccer Mommy
I was drawn to Soccer Mommy’s album, Clean, because of its late night indie-rock feel that’s just perfect to me. The singles that came out before the release made it easy to tell that this album wouldn’t be Clean. However, the song structures used, the great, great guitar riffs, and the awesome vocal performances still are amazing. Overall, color theory is another great project from Soccer Mommy.
7. 3.15.20 - Childish Gambino
I’ve already shared some of my thoughts about this album. I think this album is a very logical step from “Awaken, My Love!” and because the internet, but there are also some definitely lows in the tracklist. At the end of the day though, this album showcases Donald’s immense talent, and the highs are fucking amazing, which is why it’s one of my top 10 albums of this quarter.
6. The Price of Tea in China - Boldy James & The Alchemist
In all honesty, the first time I tried to listen to this, I kinda thought it was just going to be a watered down version of MadGibbs. Once I gave it a chance though, I saw that the beats from The Alchemist are amazing, Boldy’s flows across the album are great, the features are used super well, specifically from Freddie Gibbs and Benny the Butcher, and the project as a whole is very cohesive and a really compelling listen. This was an amazing introduction for me to Boldy James.
5. Freckle Season - EP - Orla Gartland
This is technically an EP, but I’m putting it on my list because of how much it accomplishes in its super quick 16 minute runtime. The lyrics are chock-full of dry humor and wit, like on “oh GOD”, but also pack a surprising emotional punch on songs like “New Friends”. The instrumentals on this project are simplistic but effective, especially on songs like “oh GOD”, “Did It To Myself”, and “Figure It Out”. And the length of the project really lends itself well to the directness in the other aspects of the music. I really enjoy this project.
4. UNLOCKED - Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats
I already knew Denzel Curry could make bangers. I already knew Kenny Beats could make bangers. But goddamn, put them together and wow, it’s a match made in heaven. The chemistry between Zel and Kenny is unmistakable, and it shows through beautifully across this project. You can tell how much they influence each other during the making of the project because each beat works so well with the lyrics it’s paired with. Denzel is firing on all cylinders; he’s witty, quick, and compelling. And Kenny is at his best too, his beats go hard, the samples are expertly used, and the cohesiveness of the album is kept while still having tons of variety. I’m almost sure that this album will never get old.
FAVORITES: Take_it_Back_v2, Lay_Up.m4a, DIET_
3. Eternal Atake - Lil Uzi Vert
To be clear, I don’t mean the deluxe version. For whatever reason, LUV vs. the World 2 didn’t hit like Eternal Atake did for me. It took me exactly one listen to figure out that EA was full of hits. The first time I heard it, I only liked a few songs, then after a 2nd listen, there were only a few songs I didn’t like. I don’t know where it sits in Uzi’s discography (I might make a list about that in the future) but I’m pretty positive that the top songs in this are some of the best in Uzi’s catalog. The productions across this project is mostly very well done and Uzi’s rapping and singing are top-notch. This was pretty much worth the wait, although the deluxe has more fan service so I guess there’s that. Besides that, Eternal Atake is a dynamic, varying listen from one of my favorite artists right now.
FAVORITES: Prices, Silly Watch, Venetia
2. After Hours - The Weeknd
The main word I’d use to describe After Hours is “cinematic”. The atmospheres The Weeknd is able to create are amazing. This album is dark, brooding, and emotional with its lyrics but also its instrumentals and because they complement each other so well, each aspect is enhanced. Abel is kind of a cryptic person in real life, but on After Hours, he doesn’t mince words: “Where are you now that I need you most”, “Tryna be a better man but I’m heartless”, “Take me out of LA/This place will be the end of me”, “I don’t know if I can be alone again”. Abel is in emotional turmoil, and he does a great job of making that crystal clear. After Hours is one of the best albums of the year so far because of The Weeknd’s amazing vocal performance, the stellar instrumentals and the perfectly clear picture it gives us of Abel’s emotional state.
FAVORITES: Faith, Blinding Lights, After Hours
1. Circles (Deluxe) - Mac Miller
Circles, to me, is the emotional flip side to After Hours. While The Weeknd is singing about his emotional turmoil, Mac is singing about his contentment with life in general. It sounds like Mac is singing and performing directly to us at times, telling us not to be worried. I love this album so much because it just makes me happy. It calms me down. I can’t describe the feeling that Circles (the song) gives me right from that opening chord. So many songs on this album just make me feel good: Circles, Complicated, Blue World, Good News, Floating, Surf, etc. Besides the feeling this project gives me, Circles feels complete, which is amazing for any album, but especially for a posthumous release. The production is masterfully handled by Jon Brion, the songwriting is amazing, and Mac’s performances are as inspired as ever. I’m not counting out the possibility, but it’s going to be very hard to top this album for my favorite release in 2020.
FAVORITES: Circles, Complicated, Floating, Hand Me Downs, Blue World
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Tagged by @noire-pandora. Hey, why not.
name: ...I mean, if you paid close attention to my Dragon Age posts a few months ago, you probably have an idea, but I’m going to stick with tradition and be coy about it anyway.
nickname: My mom uses a short form of my name, but other than that I don’t really have one.
gender: Median system with one agender facet and one cis female facet. Honestly, I can’t in good conscience recommend the experience—ourself can’t agree on a goddamn thing, so alleviating one facet’s dysphoria merely transfers it to the other.
⭐ sign: Sagittarius, with Aquarius moon and Virgo rising. I leave the question of whether that does or doesn’t explain a few things to those who are into that stuff.
current time: 9:33 PM as I type this.
favorite artists: Guessing this means the musical kind, judging by the next question? Ah, music. Alkinoos Ioannidis has shown a remarkable resistance to tainting by bad memories, as well as consistently excellent musicianship and clever songwriting. Seeing him live in the summer of...either ‘99 or ‘00, whichever it was...made lifelong fans of me and my parents. Glad I had that hunch that I should insist on dragging them to his show in Chania. Similarly with Lenine, Savina Yannatou, Lídia Pujol, Mari Boine, Helium Vola, CMX, Nação Zumbi, Loudovikos ton Anogeion, and while Sanna Kurki-Suonio’s 1998 self-titled album is dead to me for bad memory reasons (as is her work with Hedningarna, which is an absolute goddamn shame), her recent stuff is at least as good, and I’ve had Huria and Kainuu on heavy rotation lately. There’s a lot more, and a lot more variety, where that came from, but I’ve already bored you enough for now.
song stuck in my head: I pulled up “Isso É Só O Começo” by Lenine for an OC playlist thing, ended up listening to three different live recordings, and now it won’t leave my head. It’s a catchy little bastard.
last movie i saw: Uh...I don’t watch movies very often. I’m genuinely not sure.
last thing i googled: Possibly the transliterated lyrics to “Sareri Hovin Mernem” so I could start memorizing them phonetically, because I’m that nerd.
other blogs: Nope! It all goes on here. My apologies to any of you who don’t quite share my whole range of interests.
do i get asks: These days I can usually count on getting one or two when I post an ask meme. I’ve gotten popular all of a sudden!
reason for your url: "The bright/stones pass through the air, the brightly/white, the light-/bringers./They will/not go down, will not drop,/will not hit. They open/up/like the flimsy/hedge briars, like them they unfurl,/they hover/toward you, my quiet one,/my true one —:/I see you, you pick them with/my new, my/everyman’s hands, you put them/into the Bright-Once-More which no one/needs to weep or to name.” —Paul Celan, translated by Michael Hamburger
following: 1499 blogs. I thought it was more! Too much to actually keep up with, certainly—if there’s someone whose stuff I’m actually invested in seeing, I make a point of visiting their blog on the regular rather than waiting for their posts to cross my dash.
average 💤: 7 hours or a bit less, usually. Used to be more like 10 when i was younger, but these days I wake up after about 7 and can’t get back to sleep worth a damn.
lucky number: I specifically picked 7 as my favorite number as a kid, because my annoying older cousin was claiming 9 was the best number because it was her age, and my age was clearly far better.
currently wearing: Honestly? Just some nice comfy underpants, it’s too damn warm in here for anything else.
dream job: Insofar as I’ve ever had dreams, which is still a foreign concept to me, they’ve never involved work or jobs. I want to rest. I want the nightmare to be over.
dream trip: I’m done. I traveled enough for four lifetimes getting shuttled back and forth to Greece as a child.
favorite food: ...basically all of them? Except for the ones I hate or can’t eat, which list grows longer every year. Swinging by the Dominican place every Election Day for post-electoral mofongo con pernil is one of the gastronomic highlights of my year, though.
instruments: Not anymore. Probably never again. If I had the space and executive function to practice and didn’t have a deeply ingrained horror of making noise, that might be different.
favorite song: Not a question I ever like to answer—either I don’t trust my interlocutor with the historically touchy subject of music or picking one is simply impossible. That said, there are songs I like and there are songs that I’ve spent my entire commute home listening to on repeat, and in recent years there have only been two of the latter: “Gulan Du” (”Hearing You”) by Mari Boine and “Laavaa” (”Lava”) by CMX. You’re welcome for the ferocious earworms.
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