#Things about 12x14

[ap-art-hell]

So this is my first piece, of its not in my concentration. I'm really bad at naming these things so I've just been calling it piece one. If you have any opinions on what it's name should be, do tell

This was my concept sketch, with most of my ideas on what colors and mediums I should use. I get most of my ideas from Pinterest tbh, with some inspiration from the Thing movie poster.

This is my Halfway point. I decided to do water color for most of it. I later decided to paint the blood using red ink and the shinny light with green and white ink. I do love me some good mix medium, so I also added glitter later. I'm pretty sure this painting is 12x14 if I'm remembering correctly.

This was the finished piece. I think I could've done the background better, and made it smoother(and use black ink), but you win some you lose some. I could pull some real meaning out of my ass, however I really just drew and painted without thinking (something I do like doing) with this piece being outside of my concentration I really didn't have to do much thinking. I just wanted something cool that was mix media.

For the things I like about this piece, I think I did good on the hair, with its shading and color. I think it was smart of my to use blue and not just black. Also the green/white ink I think looks really good. I also just like the color palette

For things I don't like, again the background. I thought I did worse on it, but it's still not my favorite. I think I used too much glitter in the light and that it's not as spread out as I would've liked. Again I wish everything was smoother.

What's your thoughts?

[antigonewinchester]

i agree with you completely about berens, but can you expand on any specifics about how he fails to grasp dean?

Gladly.

Generally, Berens writes Dean as meaner, angrier, and/or more resentful than a lot of writers. His characterization of Dean calls to mind this post, where Dean’s feelings and actions aren’t totally out of bounds or ooc yet are just different enough to feel off to me. One example would be 12x19, where Dean is dismissive and rude when Cas finally returns, berating him for not responding to his and Sam’s phone calls before stomping off, continues to be a bit standoffish when Cas tries to talk with him, and then after Cas steals the Colt and leaves, says they should “kick his feathered ass” and then literally does get physical with Cas when they find him, slamming him up against the hotel room wall. Dean can be angry and lash out like he does here, but in this ep it feels excessive and off-putting. If Dean was rude to Cas at the beginning but then cooled down, or he was nicer at the beginning and then lashed out at Cas in the hotel room, those situations might work for me; it’s that Dean’s low-level pissed for most of the ep and this being his entire emotional range that feels frustrating. I do think Jensen softens Dean with his acting in this ep, and Berens’s tries to soften Dean in the writing by presenting his anger as an expression of him being worried, but Dean comes across like an angry jerk more than anything else.

Another moment of Dean being very angry and resentful would be the final scene in 13x03, when he and Sam talk about Jack. I’m not super Destiel inclined, but I can see why people would want to read Dean as in love with Cas here. If Dean is in love with Cas, his intense anger and resentment is still a lot, but it’s easier to take if it stems from Dean seeing the man he loves die in front of him. If Dean isn’t in love with Cas, then Dean becomes a super angry and resentful guy who unfairly blames Jack for Mary and Cas’s deaths, and isn’t able to rightly blame the guy responsible, Lucifer. Dean being angry and even resentful isn’t out of bounds character-wise, and he is grieving Mary and Cas (in whatever way one reads it), but again the writing feels… excessive, oversized, to me. Maybe that there’s nothing on Sam’s end to counter-balance it? Dean is the angry/resentful one and Sam is the forgiving/accepting one, in a way that seems to simplify the emotional range for both of these characters. (There's also how this conversation somewhat reframes season 4/5, which I think contributes to why Sam & Dean are being characterized as they are, but I'm still mulling this over.)

I also really struggle with how Berens frames (and seems to understand) Dean’s childhood and his emotional issues stemming from it. 12x14 comes to mind, in how he writes the Mary – Dean emotional conflict. There’s this exchange at the beginning of the ep:

MARY: I'm doing this for you. I'm playing three decades of catch up here. DEAN: And we're not? How do you think this has been for us? We're your sons, and you've been gone. Our whole lives, you've been gone. You said that you needed time. No, you said you need space. So we gave you your space. But you didn't need just space. No, you needed space from us. MARY: That's not true. Dean, I'm trying – DEAN: How 'bout for once, you just try to be a mom? MARY: I am your mother, but I am not "just a mom." And you are not a child. DEAN: I never was. So between us and them – MARY: It's not like that. DEAN: Yeah, Mary, it is. And you made your choice. So there's the door.

And then this one at the end of the ep:

DEAN: [to MARY] When I thought something might've happened to you, nothing else mattered. MARY: Dean, the things I said – DEAN: No, Mom, you were... It's not your job to make my lunch and kiss me good night. It's – We're adults. You're gonna make your own choices, even if I don't like 'em. Even if I really, really don't like 'em. That's just something I'm gonna have to get used to. Okay, Mom? MARY: [ Whispers ] Yeah.

I’d heard through the fandom grapevine that Berens didn’t write Dean saying “[he] was never a child” and this was Jensen’s adlib, which seems to be true (it's not in the Production Draft). Surprisingly, I’m going to say something nice about season 7 here, and it’s that Glass got it in 7x04, when he writes Dean saying: “You and Sam. I just – you know, hunters are never kids. I never was. I didn't even stop to think about it.” Dean not being a kid (while being a kid!!) is the keystone to understanding his childhood, and the tragedy of Dean being forced to take on adult responsibilities and emotionally support John when he was too young. To have a character with that backstory tell his actual mom, in what’s framed as him opening up in a mature way, that it’s not her job to be his mom anymore is… a kind of stomach churning writing choice, imo, even if I do believe Mary’s obligations to Sam and Dean post-resurrection are a complicated question. All of this leads me to think Berens does not fully grasp Dean’s parentification and what it means for him as a character, which is a major reason why his emotional arcs for Dean don't work for me.

[okimargarvez]

Times they flirt during work/about work

This is not an exhaustive post about the times Penelope and Luke flirting during or about work... because it's really complicated to identify when there are flirt shades in their dialogues. I considered it just some. Their way of flirting is usually teasing each other.

-12x8

“You couldn't find anything out with all your super powers?” “Oh, ha ha, newbie. It's not like I haven't tried." [...] .” “I'm declaring a dictatorship. You guys don't get a vote. Especially you, newbie.”

-12x14

“Exactly. They're everywhere. And they can be hacked.” “So he can hack into any one of them and watch in real time.” “Yes, he can, newbie.”

“The dating website.” “Oh. Is that what it is? Good. Maybe I should try it. Not that I'd want to join something you know about or I'd need a dating website, 'cause I don't.”

“All right. Grab your laptop, hotshot. Let's go. Come on.”

“Stop staring at me when I'm search engining! It's weird.” “I’m… I’m not staring at you.”

“Well, it looks like Alyssa managed to keep her phone. So if she has it on her, then maybe you could” “Yeah, yeah, that's helpful. You're helpful sometimes."

-12x15

“What are we gonna do?” “Oh, newbie, oh, newbie, I'm gonna tell you what we're gonna do."

“Why do you get to go see Reid first?” “Because I made the chart. And if anyone has any problem with that, tough noogies.”

-12x16

"What do you want, newbie?” “Still with that? Come on. You need some new material” “Ok, whatever you say El Nuevo. Hunky Newster. New kid on the no, that one's too much on the nose.” “All right, [laughs] whatever."

“Thanks, Garcia. You truly, you are the best.” “Really?” “Available.[laughs and hangs up]” “Newbie.”

-13x3

“Cool hand Luke, what you need?” “Wow, I like the way that sounds, Garcia. You feeling ok?” “I am naturally magnanimous in word and deed, and when it comes your way, bask in it. What do you want?”

“I am the genie in genealogy. Just rub my lamp. That came out wrong. Goodbye.” “Wow.” “What did you do to her?”

-13x10

“Bowling trophies, seriously?” “I just reports the facts as I find them, sir”

-13x11

“Garcia, are your ears burning?” “My ears are the same temperature as the rest of my body hot. Oh, that sounds like flirting. I don't flirt with you. It's in my mission statement. What do you need?”

-14x8

"So, I hear you and I are gonna be lab partners.” “Ugh! Blerg! Fleh! Whatever. If I must."

“Ok, guys, so it looks like” “Ah-ah-ah-ahem.” “Like Garcia has some things she wants to tell you.” “Mm-hmm. I'm about to say the same thing as Luke was going to, but with far more chutzpah, wit, and eloquence."

“Well, come on. Admit it. I helped.” “Oh! Heh! You'd have to torture me. You'd have to force me to wear beige, deny me of all things unicorn for me to ever admit that you helped. Excuse me.”

-14x14

“Oh, Alvez, have you heard of multitasking? It's all the rage, I'm really good at it, and I'm doing it right now.” “Yeah, I'm sure you were. Don't get me wrong. You're great, but Rossi literally just sent you that list.” “Yeah, well, I'm more than simply great. I'm entirely fantastic.”

-15x4

“Oh. Now, should we bring in the rest of the team? Because we do have that holding us up.” “Do you remember, like, 30 seconds ago, when you thanked us? Yeah. We were so young then.”

"And now we will… Wheels up.” “We're not going anywhere.” “Shut up, shut up. Just because you look like that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want with this part of your face. How does Prentiss make this look easy? Ok, come on!"

-15x7

“Garcia, have you found any overlap socially?” “Do I have to start calling you newbie again?” “Ok. So you would have led with that.”

"Uh, stop smiling, Luke Alvez. I can feel it. That joke was not for you.”

“Penelope.” “New phone. Who dis?” “Thank you.” “You should worship at my throne, Luke Alvez.” “Oh, but I do. I do. You know I do.”

-16x1

“It's less annoying when he's not there, correct?” “You just couldn't wait to get started on me?”

“You know that your office is still empty? You know, the four people that try to do your job, they try to do it from home.” “Have you ever met them?” “Never.” “Do you know their names?” “Sorta. I mean, they're just boxes on a screen.” “Oh, that's weird.” “Totally.” “Is it weird that I kind of love it?” “Define weird.”

"However, Luke, in a rare stroke of genius..."

"You're the best"

-16x4

"What do you think?" "I think it's a great idea." "And the rumor is you're difficult to work with. Oh, wait. I started that rumor."

"Go talk to her." "Right. Now's the time. Come on. Let's go." "No, I'm not. You need to go and talk to her. You should tell her." "It's all right." "No, no." "It was your idea." "It's your thing. It's kind of in your house of wheels."

-16x8

"Um, is this all you could find?" "Oh, for now, my liege, but I shall keep digging." "Wait, what was that?" "What was what?" "Like, where's the snark? Like, a comment about how amazing it is that I can tie my own shoes or a question about how I got into the FBI wearing caveman overalls and carrying a big wooden club." "You're funny. That's funny. A club? No, don't be so hard on yourself."

Other pic posts

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x14 The Raid

“How un-American” “Dean’s fkn mad.” “three days after mom walked out. Or did they kick her out? A little column A / a little column B?” “oh hey she’s doing the thing again” “This family has a way with words” “He doesn’t disassemble his own guns?” “that’s not her fault. She got zapped by a shitter demon yellow eyes” “some jurassic part bullshit. Where’s the fkn velociraptor?” “hey cunt” “forgot how much I hated that asshole (Mick)” “basically no time has passed in Mary’s mind” “hey assbutt” “you already had an s on drinks. That was redundant” “iPhone 6” “Gotta love how Dean says you gotta pick a side then Sam is over here checking out the base” “just shoot him in the fkn face. Make it easy” “uh huh” “exactly” “don’t store it in the decanter. Idk what you get, but you get something” “gonna let the British take your jobs like that?” “where’s the big noise in the background?” “oh hai” “hmm. Let’s see what this is about” “33 years. Glennlach? Pretty low proof though. That’d be 86. That’s actually really low but I don’t know a whole lot about scotch” “I’m going to write this down, and we’re going to move on. I know enough about scotch to know I don’t like it. I know there’s like 3 different regions.” “that bottle appears to be $4500. I think. No. Different brand maybe. Idk” “Oh maybe it’s a fake label because of shows and stuff, but there’s another brand that looks similar to it that goes between too much money and ungodly amount of money” “it’s based off of this guy. GlenDronach. Looks very similar” “Are we adding woman-hater to the list of things we don’t like about Ketch?” “how does this guy die?” “couldn’t just take one vehicle” “He’s just doing this because the MOL take the fun out of it? SO Ketch is trying to do this to get a little bit of action?” “oh are the vampires plotting? Are they going to attack this place?” “oh shit” “wouldn’t you want to give your guard a shorter nickname?” “I feel like if your guard has a one syllable nickname, that’d be easier to call for help. Of course he’s dead now” “home run. Ok let’s go” “yeah like that little tiny bolt’s going to do anything” “didn’t they kill his ass?” “don’t have any more questions apparently” “shit plan” “did he get bit or something?” “oh shit. Yeah I forgot they’ve got a fancy gun” “I mean this could be the plot twist is. Take the gun and run” “is this the Indiana jones ark of the covenant moment?” “this is how the one hunter dies probably” “oh shit” “huh?” laughter

“Hmmm” “neat little trigger action” “don’t need my ass powdered anymore” laughter

“Well that didn’t go the way I expected it to” “Fkn Mama’s boy” “what a bitch move”

[julie-finlay]

Finlay Friday

12x21: "Dune and Gloom", script extracts. Meta under the cut.

Thoughts here instead of the tags because I ran on even by my own standards.

There isn't a lot of Finn in this episode, but the changes between the script and aired version are interesting to me!!

The first two gifs are cut dialogue over the scene as-aired, which is all science. The brother reference threw me because I’m sure the only time he's mentioned on-air is in "The Last Ride", right at the end of the run. But 16yo Finn somehow both trying to impress and briefly unaware she's being hit on by her older brother's friends is v cute???

The dialogue with Moreno only changes slightly, from “My place sounds good to me. […] You make the breakfast this time”, to “Okay, so we'll do it at your place tonight, and um, I'll call you if I'm going to be late”. It’s only a subtle shift, and the tone is still outrageously flirtatious, but it’s a degree less personal/more transactional, and I feel like it helps in establishing the nature of the relationship. We know from “Homecoming” that Finn is in a ‘sneaking-out-in-the-middle-of-the-night’, “it’s so much hotter when you don’t talk” place when it comes to relationships, and I just don't see her—at this point, anyway—as willingly inviting someone into her space and making them breakfast in the morning.

AND THEN THE HENRY SCENE. The difference here is:

Aired:

Finn: "Athrok the Conqueror". That dragon movie. You know it's not in theatres anymore, and I'm pretty sure it didn't come out on DVD because I wanted to see that. Henry: Wait, you-you like fantasy movies? Finn: Yeah! I saw Lord of the Rings like forty times. Henry: That's awesome.

Script:

Finn: "Athrok the Conqueror"? Cheesy fantasy movie, right? Not in theaters anymore. Not on DVD yet. (OFF Henry, admits) Guy I'm seeing digs dragons. And I dig him.

The whole tone is different, shifting from a reluctant admission that she's researched lame movies for a guy she's into, to genuine enthusiasm for something she's passionate and unashamed about. Love that for her!!

Finn being a fantasy nerd has been part of my understanding of who she is for so long, that to see that was originally written as 'liking Moreno so much she'll research dragon movies for him' FELT WRONG. It's only a few lines but it's such a cute scene and I'm very glad they changed it, for two reasons really. One being that Finn and Henry are adorable in s12??? This woman only moves to Vegas after 12x14, and by 12x20, she's spent every night for two weeks at the batting cages with Henry, helping him practice his swing. I ADORE HER. There's also a very sweet cut scripted scene in 12x15 that goes:

Henry: So you go by "Finn"? Finn: Yup. You go by "Hank"? Henry: No. But… (thinks about this). "Hank Andrews, DNA". I like that. […] Finn: Find me when you have a profile, Hank.

THEY'RE JUST CUTE OKAY. So yeah. In the aired version she's seen Lord of the Rings like 40 times, and Henry thinks that's awesome, AND SO DO I.

(Also, I think it just feeds in so much to Finn being a people-pleaser. She gives people these little parts of herself that appeal most to them, so with Henry she loves fantasy movies, with Super Dave it's like START THE ELITE CHEF GROUP CHAT RN, and with Sara she loves crossword puzzles!! And those are all true things, they're not invented for her audience, but they're also not all of her. Because it takes time and/or being Russell to get the Full Julie Finlay Experience.)

Anyway I've spent longer thinking about THREE MINOR SCRIPT CHANGES than Lisa spent filming her scenes for this episode, so that's super chill.

[diminuel]

12x14 I assume that I have already written about this back in the day, but I think it’s worth noting again how Dean and Sam deal with Mary’s “betrayal” as an unit and how they deal with it as individuals. Sam and Dean are of course upset that she lied to them (though I’m kind of confused what Mary’s “I’m sorry you had to find out like this” was supposed to mean. She volunteered the information after all.) but their objection to her working with the BMOL are mostly “WE have history, WE don’t trust them”. Which means that they expect Mary to align with their sense of morals, instead of allowing her to make her own choices.

Also, Dean is on Sam’s case because he’s not “picking a side”, neither when Dean’s showing Mary the cold shoulder, nor when Dean was showing Cas the cold shoulder. Why would Sam have to pick a side (and I’m sure Dean means “be on my side, feel the same thing I feel, be an extension of my emotions”)? Stupid commentary from Mr. Winchester about Sam dealing with Mary’s betrayal the way that works for him.

You know... at the end of the day, the Winchesters are all the same X3 Sometimes I think Sam’s the only sane one, but then I think about the chaos he gets up to, so nah.

So, Mary tells Sam that the reason she is working with the BMOL is to create a world where Sam doesn’t have to hunt. When Sam tells her that he CHOSE to hunt, she doesn’t even seem to listen. She reaffirms that a world without monsters will undo Sam’s choice. I just... Why does everyone tell Sam that Sam wants to get out of the life? Sam doesn’t want out of the life, he has chosen hunting again and again! Just let that guy hunt :/ (Looking at you, finale.)

I guess this episode seems to be about people telling other people who they are supposed to be... And, what maybe annoys me, the characters fitting themselves into those ideas. Why are we having Dean reduced to being angry, needing to control Sam, needing to punch something, needing a drink, getting home from getting a drink to need more drinks, allowing in Ketch because he brings drinks, listening to Ketch telling him that he’s a killer, going out to work a case with Ketch because there are vamps to kill (I thought we don’t work with the BMOL, Dean?), taking on a nest of 10 vampires with a guy you don’t know or trust (why? what point are you proving?)

Also... EH? Sam says he wants in, because the BMOL are changing the world and the alpha Vampire is dead. I don’t know if maybe Sam missed the episode, but it was Sam who killed him... Sure, they located and had Mary steal the Colt but apart from that...? Hmpf.

This is just a weird episode... (As the whole BMOL plot tends to be, partially also because it leaves no more nuance that the show has established - now all monsters are bad again, now all monsters must be killed. It’s just a matter of how - Dean, to show that he’s a good guy, stopped Ketch from beating up the vampire girl, offering a quick death instead. The Winchester’s moral compass allows and approves of torture and suffering, but when others do it it’s usually suspect.)

Anyway, I’m sure you could dig a bit and find some redeeming things about this whole arc but I’ve not really enjoyed the second half of this season all that much.

[holylulusworld]

Even if Dean Whinchester wasn’t played by Jensen Ackles …he would still be my fav..Because i have fallen in love with his character..💜

TW: bloody Dean (GIF)

🥰🥺 We stan Dean Winchester in this house too.

I loved Dean from the beginning, but I believe Jensen made me stay in love with his character for 15 seasons.

He made Dean a much better character than the authors wanted him to be. He improvised so many things I'll never forget about Dean:

e.g.: Dean's Eye Of The Tiger was all improv, or Dean picking up the rabbit and calling him buddy in Regarding Dean, Dean stealing the Viagra in Into the mystic was unscripted and was ad-libbed by Jensen, "Sonofabitch at the end of Bad day at black rock was improvised.

"I'm proud of us" was improvised by Jensen too.

"I never was" (Dean says this while fighting with Mary in 12x14) was improvised too. He didn't tell Samantha, and her reaction was genuine. 🤧

He improvised many other things to improve the show, but I can't count them all. Jensen just knew Dean so well. 😭🥺

[awkwardarmadildo]

i never said anything about people, specifically katara, being evil. i said its a weird choice the Writers made. im not trolling, these are my genuine thoughts and opinions and to claim someone making a statement that you dont like is trolling just because you dont like what theyre saying is fucked up and i hope you dont say shit like that irl because that can erase or diminish the validity of real actual concerns.

16 being the marrying age/age of consent is Also Weird, same way its weird in Real Life countries like fucking England. if i were talking about those things you mentioned, i wouldve brought them up. i was specifically talking about 12x14 because thats what was present in my mind at the time of writing. if i had a problem the fact that kids are fighting wars and have essentially the fate of the entire world resting on their shoulders, thatd be Fucking Stupid because that is the Entire Fucking Plot Of The Show.

my "problem" is the writers Conscious Decision to make a wouldbe middle schooler and highschooler kiss. all i was saying is that they could've just as easily not written that romance Or made them not have that big of an age/maturity gap, especially when they pointed out the maturity gap more than once.

and yeah, a two year age gap is inconsequential Unless Youre A Child. for aang, two years is a fucking Sixth of his life and if he has the average memory of other twelve year olds [which its (as far as im aware, could be entirely wrong] never stated/claimed/argued against so that assumption is likely) where his earliest memory is at two and a half years old, thats a 20% gap in life experience. thats A Lot. (i made aangs first memory at 2 instead of 2.5 because hes a powerful little guy or whatever).

i specifically said i do not have a problem with kataang shippers, i dont get why yall are so pressed and acting like i hate you or am trying to start something with you. youre acting like/claiming i Genuinely called anyone evil or morally reprehensible or compared it to actual pedophilia or any of that other shit. yall are just shippers on tumblr, shipping a canon romance. youre doing what shippers do and i do not have a problem with it, which is why i Specifically Said I Dont Have A Problem With You, Most Of Yall Are Cool.

i dont give a shit that you liked a younger guy, thats your business and has nothing to do with me. kataang does because it is a public piece of media written By Adults. theres a big difference between a kid having a crush on a younger kid and adults writing a kid to have a crush on a younger kid and pointing out the age/maturity difference frequently enough for that to be taken note of

potential spoilers for Keepers of the Lost City and the Lunar Chronicles (maybe? i don't remember if these are actually spoilers but i want to give a heads up just in case)

i hold this opinion outside of atla too. in kotlc, i thought it would be weird for fucking whats his name (teal eyed boy, i cant remember his name mostly because i domt like him) Fitz his name is Fitz to reciprocate a crush om sophie amd was very relieved when he only started showing signs of reciprocation After it was revealed that she was a hell of a lot closer in age than originally thought/led to believe. i thought it was weird for blondie or whatever the fuck his name is in the lunar chronicles to have a crush on winter (specifically when they were kids) when he was however many years older than her.

this isnt a problem that i have with shippers, this is a problem that i have with writers. writers are almost always adults amd tend to ignore/forget that everything is bigger as children, especially gaps in age, wisdom, maturity, et cetera.

again, I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SHIP KATAANG OR ANY OF THE OTHER SHIPS I MENTIONED, YOURE NOT INVOLVED IN THE ISSUE IM POINTING OUT AT ALL. MY PROBLEM IS WITH THE WRITERS. NOT YOU. I THINK MOST OF YALL ARE NEATO AND IM WRITING THIS DOWN HERE SO PEOPLE CAN STOP ACTING LIKE ANY OF THIS WAS EVER AN ATTACK ON SHIPPERS. THATS ALL, THANK YOU FOR READING THIS IF YOU DID, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT (i just want to reiterate that im not being sarcastic, i know that doesnt carry well online. this is genuine, as was everything else i wrote.)

sorry to all the kataang shippers out there but kataang genuinely skeeves me out like

hes 12. shes 14. thats so weird to me. thats so Gross to me. thats a sixth grader, a kid brand new to middle school or even still in elementary school depending on location/school district, and a freshman in highschool.

and dont even say uM aCtUaLly HeS oNe HuNdReD aNd TwElVe i do not give the faintest fuck. he has the experience, mentality, physicality, all that shit, of a twelve year old. hes twelve. thats weird, thats gross, i dint like it

no judgment to kataang shippers though yall seem neato

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

12x14 “The Raid” “How about you’re just trying to be a mom.”

God, I love this moment and it hurts. Because of course Dean just wants her to be a mom, would love for her to be just as he always envisioned her, but she’s not. And damn if that’s not painful to realize. More than that though, I think for Dean getting Mary back wasn’t just about getting back the mom he always hoped her to be, but rather gaining something he never had since her death and that is indeed childhood. He may not be a child and kid anymore age wise, but as we know somehow Dean managed to preserve a little bit of this boyish-ness and being a kid at heart. To me getting Mary back in that regard to Dean may have even counted as a regaining of childhood as an adult. So of course that’s jut my personal impression/headcanon, but when thinking about it in this way Dean’s line is even sadder, because in a way it must feel like he lost his mom and his childhood a second time around. And damn if that’s not painful, because he is telling the truth plain and simple, he never was a kid... ;___;

[dungeons-are-too-cold]

Do i hate Kevin? no, I don't think I do. However, I do think he puts Penelope in a lot of very uncomfortable situations so I definitely like Luke a lot more. I don't think that what Kevin expects of her is fair, and Luke expects nothing of her but everything of himself to keep her safe and happy.

Luke not only actively avoids putting Penelope in any uncomfortable position, but also does absolutely everything in his power to get her out of uncomfortable situations she inevitably finds herself in considering their line of work and her online presence. He does the little things like offering his hand to help her off the curb in 12x14 collision course, all the way to dropping everything to help her in 15x4, Saturday. He makes sure to not only solve the stalking case of the young woman in Penelope's hacking class but also let her know that he is there for her through everything and if she ever needs his help with her own cyber stalker or with anything at all, he will be there for her. That's the kind of support that she needs, and deserves. She needs to know she has someone to lean on, someone who offers to be her soft place to land because she isn't going to ask for it.

Kevin doesn't communicate very well with Penelope. I'm currently watching 4x23, Roadkill, and he has had these secret job interviews for a classified overseas position. He mentions to her that he didn't want to tell her "until it was real" and then proceeds to ask her to move with him, away from her family at the BAU, to be with him in some country god knows where with no ability to tell her loved ones where exactly she is. Does he not know who she is? Penelope needs stability. She needs her little creature comforts, like her good coffee and her sparkly desk. She also needs open communication, honest communication, and being lied to and then subsequently being asked to do something which requires her to lie is not only a wildly misguided but completely inappropriate request for anyone, let alone for Penelope.

One of the things that makes Penelope fall for Kevin even more than she already had in the beginning is his "man to man" talk with Rossi. I think its not only because she takes comfort in his fatherly role in her life and appreciates Kevin's formality, but also because what she values is direct communication about expectations and desires. The position Kevin puts her in during Roadkill is the exact opposite of why she trusted him to further their relationship in the beginning.

Maybe this is me reading into things and making a much bigger deal of this, but it clearly upsets her that Kevin thinks this was the right way to go about this. She is understanding of his desires for career growth, she wants him to pursue what makes him feel good, and she never would have told him to stay for her if he really wanted the position. The fact that he doesn't know that means he doesn't know her. All he knows is that it would hurt for them to say goodbye, which is true it would, and he thinks that he is sparing her some kind of heartache by lying or by asking her to apply. Again, this further proves that he doesn't know her at all.

On second thought, I do hate Kevin. The more I watch him with her, the more I realize he in no way has Penelope's best interest at heart. He pressures her, and rushes thing, and tries to make her life into something that works for him. Luke is patient, and understanding, so much so that he waits until she isn't on the team to ask her out because he is respectful of her boundaries and he needs. Kevin is so domineering and controlling but there is no doubt in my mind about the way Luke lets Penelope lead when it comes to their relationship.

This post is dedicated to @snailsandpuppy-dogtails cuz you actually made me come back and finish writing it lmao so i hope you approve of my analysis.

Also tagging @darcyfangirlsfrequently cuz i feel like I cant make a garvez post without tagging you both

[autisticandroids]

okay i am finally writing my explanation on what i mean when i say that dean is a serial killer as an allegory for being gay

ok so there are a LOT of reasons why this is true but i’m kind of referencing a specific thing here, or i guess two specific things that are intertwined: the first being dean being portrayed as having some kind of dark inherent impulse toward violence, and the second being violence as a form of bonding with other men. there are actually like...... a variety of things that i could mean? when i say that dean is a serial killer as an allegory for being gay? because spn is an insane show with many wild subtexts. but i mean these two specific phenomena and their intersection.

like, i’m not gonna give..... comprehensive examples? of either of these phenomena because that would require like, an archival understanding of supernatural that i do not have. but i’m gonna give some pertinent examples, and finding more will be left as an exercise to the reader. it should be easy because these subtexts are persistent throughout the entire show. perhaps the spn academic hivemind can add some examples in the notes.

the inherent violence thing....... it’s dean being nostalgic for purgatory because he could kill and do violence there without qualms. the emphasis on the fact that dean enjoyed torturing souls in hell.* it's the mark of cain. hell, it's fucking ketch referring to "someone with our inclinations" in an extremely euphemism for being gay way in 12x14 and when dean questions him saying, "you're a killer, dean winchester."

*season four is complicated. it belongs on this post but it's also a subtext about sexual assault, and i don't feel comfortable drawing on it without giving it its own appendix

like, it's all about how dean has this dark need to do violence that he has to keep suppressed. this dark need that keeps him from ever being normal (i'm thinking of for example season six, when dean tries to be normal with lisa but he needs to hunt, and implicitly to kill).

and at the same time, violence is inherently erotic. like, sex and violence are tied up in our culture. surely we, the spn fandom, professional connoisseurs of the eroticized violence show, understand this.

now, there are a lot of ways violence can stand in for sex. for example, being a victim of violence can cause the male body to become a viable erotic object, like in this essay. or violence can be an eroticized interaction between victim and perpetrator (we as deancas shippers should understand this, 5x18, 8x17, and 10x22 are considered big destiel episodes for a reason.)

but i want to talk about violence as an erotic performance by the perpetrator.

this is what i mean by violence as a form of bonding with other men: dean kills the vampire in front of gordon walker in bloodlust, and they instantly take a shine to one another. dean killed indiscriminately in purgatory, with and in front of benny (and to an extent cas). hell, the scene i was referring to earlier with ketch was basically ketch saying "hey wanna do some murder, together?"

basically, dean is a freak for having a deep need to do violence, and for gaining pleasure from it, this prevents him from ever being normal, and it's a method by which he bonds with other men who are freaks who need to kill. it's deviant eroticized behavior performed to bond with other deviant men. i.e. dean is a serial killer as an allegory for being gay

[also: for those who like to discuss queer allegory in general in relation to spn, it's interesting to note that sam's site of deviance is that he is as the monster is, dean's site of deviance is that he does as the monster does. something to chew on]

appendix: season four

the thing about hell trauma is that it's explicitly comparable to sexual assault trauma. we see that in season seven with sam. but sam's is straightforward: sam is the victim of a sexual assault, lucifer is the perpetrator of that assault. dean's is far more complex. he was forced to participate in his own trauma, and eventually came to enjoy aspects of it. it's still a sexual assault allegory but a much more complicated one. quite frankly, it reads like dean being forced to confront his own capacity for queer desire in the worst way possible.

this is added to by the fact that this homosocial bonding, violence as homosocial and homosexual performance, happens (nonconsensually!) in on the head of a pin. dean is in the role of perpetrator, and he is trying to put alistair in the role of victim, where dean has all the power, but alistair is attempting to occupy the role of observer instead, putting dean in a position where he is putting on this eroticized performance for alistair.

anyway this post is like so much less fleshed out than it could be but i think i have the broad strokes of the idea laid out here.

[okimargarvez]

Penelope about Luke ability

12x5 - The Anti-Terror Squad

“Garcia, can you cross-check the names you pulled with any mentions on social media of bullying?” “Oh, there's a boss idea." 12x9 - Profiling 202 “He must have abandoned it. Probably stole another one.” “That's actually a really good guess..."

12x10 - Seek and Destroy “All right, try, uh, Louisiana and Arkansas” “Look at you, Newbie McNewberson, with another good call”

12x14 - Collision Course "So if she has it on her, then maybe you could...” “Yeah, yeah, that's helpful. You're helpful sometimes."

14x8 - Ashley “Well, come on. Admit it. I helped.” “Oh! Heh! You'd have to torture me. You'd have to force me to wear beige, deny me of all things unicorn for me to ever admit that you helped."

15x4 - Saturday

“Oh, that means we can find some physical evidence, and that's good news.” “Ok, I'll give you that. That's your one for today.”

“You took your whole day off to help Elizabeth.” “Elizabeth.” “And that was very kind of you.”

15x8 - Family Tree “We think our unsub is the son of a couple who used to live in Beaumont.” “Oh, my gosh. Do you think that, newbie? Oh, my gosh. You just narrowed the candidates to like 1. 2 million people!"

16x1 - Just getting started "However, Luke, in a rare stroke of genius..."

Note: I will upload if we'll get new material

All my ramblings

[bri-the-bad-sleeper]

A list of the impulsive things I do now that I live alone and there is no one to stop me. I'll add to it as more if I remember to.

I have this crochet blanket I decided to make for my cousin, it's 12x14. I got halfway through before I lost interest and put it in a closet for about two years. I brought it with me when moved for university. One day late at night I was looking at it thinking about the joining method I used for the assembled bit. Then I looked up joining patterns, decided I didn't like it and unraved the entire thing and rejoined them in two days.

Three or four years ago my aunt got me a box set of my favorite book series. The spines for the books when lined up made a picture and I really liked that. The author of the book has an entire universe for the books so I made it my goal to get the others(all paper back). I noticed awhile ago that the ones my aunt got me didn't quite match my other books, they are shorter, not as wide(from spine to opening), and the formatting doesn't quite match. I ignored it for years, it started to bother me so I looked on Amazon and ordered the entire series again because it was driving me crazy (I'm planning to donate the old ones).

[bippityboppitybibuck]

Half cocked meta four hours before the finale bc I’m watching season 12 for the first time

It’s been long speculated that Dean can’t retire because he needs to hunt, that it’s all he knows and without it he’ll go batty

In 12x14 The Raid Ketch stops in at the bunker to talk to Dean about joining tBMoL he says this just before the 19 minute mark

Dean doesn’t disagree, in fact he says nothing

I can’t find a clear picture and I can’t edit one together fast enough but afterwards Ketch says “and so am I [referring to the fact that he too is a killer] if we go too long without something to track or trap or punch or gut, well things get a bit ugly don’t they?”

Dean again doesn’t respond to the comments.

Now in 15x18 Cas gives Dean his “you think anger drives you but it doesn’t, love drives you” speech and then we get this exchange in 15x19

Dean understands now that he isn’t what his enemies think he is. He isn’t a killer, he isn’t a monster meaning that the truth Ketch was so sure of, the ending that Dean and everyone else never thought he could have, is possible now

Dean is able to hang up hunting if he wants to because his identity as a monster who only deserves to live because he kills other monsters isn’t his identity anymore

Here’s to manifesting a happily retired Dean Winchester in 15x20!!

[loafdepain]

i fell asleep on the couch last night around 1 and never made it to the bed. i couldn't work from home today so i had to go to the office and i was running late because of the whole sleeping on the couch thing and then couldn't find my (currently very sick) cat and thought she died somewhere. i found her but then when i hopped in the car my boss called and was like "the guy at the office is there to make a delivery and says no one is there" and got yelled at for that. i called the delivery driver on the way to the office and he was so so nice and said he would wait (normally they don't) and even told me to take my time because he didn't want me to get in an accident. in my defense, i was only 10 minutes late, but the guy just got here so early. i'm the only one in the office and he had a 12x14 garage door to unload but he didn't want to use the forklift and i'm not skilled enough with them so i had to swallow back anxiety and ask our neighbors if they could unload it. they thankfully did, but i feel like shit about it. now i'm expecting another delivery of springs that need to be unloaded by a lull and not a forklift because they're too heavy idek and again, i have no one here. and then we're expecting a truck to come and pick up 5 big pallets of springs which also need the lull and i have no idea how any of this is going to work. i want to go home.

[steveyockey]

12x14 the raid mirrors 2x03 bloodlust in the messiest way possible

oh I was JUST looking for more potential vampire narrative mirrors for “the raid,” yes exactly! I originally positioned 1.20 “dead man’s blood” as the mirror because I think it works nicely as an inverse of the raid for several reasons. 1.20 is about sam and dean’s reunion with john. sam’s upset with john for treating them like children and refusing to give up the drill sergeant mentality to respect them as capable hunters on their own while dean attempts to play peacemaker. 12.14 is about mary’s decision to work with the british men of letters and pits her against dean as dean needles mary for refusing to be apart of family and chastises sam for trying to play peacemaker. it’s 

sam: you can't treat us like this. john: like what? sam: like children. john: you are my children. I’m trying to keep you safe.

vs

dean: how 'bout for once, you just try to be a mom? mary: I am your mother, but I am not "just a mom." and you are not a child. dean: I never was.

and then the vampires! 1.20 is the first instance of vampires on the show, and as I’ve discussed previously, they’re basically coded as white trash/sexual deviants/drug users living on the margins menacing polite society. john, dean, and sam are going into the nest to kill the vampires — thought to be some of the last of their kind. contrast that with 12.14 where the british men of letters are literally trying to eradicate all vampires and have systematically identified all remaining members of the species to root them out. these vampires are still viewed negatively by the hunters but rendered sympathetic by the narrative by casting them as not a den of miscreants but a family. the distinction is made clear in the language the men of letters use to discuss their hunting tactics as opposed to the winchesters’ — whereas the latter had previously only sought out those vampires who can be identified as “criminals, rogues,” the former views their work as akin to counterterrorism, rooting out the perceived evil before it can manifest (this should be obvious but in case it isn’t holy fuck that’s bad. you don’t want to be counterterrorism. the surveillance of counterterrorism produces the conditions that create terrorists — you push someone to do bad things so that when they attempt to do bad things, you can be the hero who saves society from the monster even though you made the monster). the humans come to the vampires in 1.20 to kill them for their misdeeds in their home — in 12.14, the vampires come to humans for much the same.

adding 2.03 to the mix does a few things. first of all, sympathetic vampire depictions! the cattle blood drinkers of 2.03 and the family of 12.14. lenore and the alpha vampire as heads of household advocating for their right to live! importantly, and I think this is very savvy, the entire appeal of the nest in 2.03 is that they are benign creatures working against their nature to coexist with humans and not cause harm. the argument of the vampires in 12.14 is, fuck that! this is who we are. you can kill vamps when they get too far out of line, but this is our home too. “it’s time that you... get... off... my lawn.” the monster doesn’t need to justify its monstrosity to you or curb its appetite to be allowed existence. complexly, it would seem that gordon and the alpha vamp act as foils of sorts, both advocating for seeking vengeance on harms done to thme through the shedding of blood. to gordon, it doesn’t matter that these vampires hold themselves to a higher standard, they are kin of the ones who made his sister into the monster he took it upon himself to kill. to the alpha vampire, these are the exact hunters who are responsible for the destruction of his children, and they deserve to die just the same. finally, and this might be a bit of a stretch, sam and gordon become linked in their work to exterminate the vamps. the narrative pointblank demonizes gordon for his refusal to see their humanity, but sam is placed at a crossroads. he gives the speech about wanting to put things back as they were, “cops and robbers, a fair fight,” but his betrayal of the brits is only a ruse to get the bullet from ketch. whatever moral opposition he may hold for their work is forfeited by his actions, which work to save ketch as much as himself and his mother. it’s messy! it’s never not going to be messy on the tv show where the monsters are both the victims and perpetrators all at once. who IS the real monster? there’s not much of answer! but in the end, jenny’s nest kills dean. the newest member of the original endanger species from 1.20 gets the last laugh, which is kind of devilishly clever and, if done with any fucking sense at all, could have really carried a message!