#They're good and fine in America where they belong
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bonefall · 1 year ago
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out of all the things you've researched for better bones/clan culture stuff in general, what's the thing that's taken you on the deepest investigative rabbit hole? asking this from 9 pages deep and counting into a wikipedia hole about flooded reservoir towns
I didn't think I would HATE sitka spruces like this. I knew I was going to want to kill the Victorians, I was WELL aware that the more I learned the more I would yearn for a time machine so I could go back in time and make them start the whole generation over, but I didn't think that I was going to hate the concept of pine trees in England
I fear no man, but that thing... (endless rows of non-native spruce trees blocking out the sun, replacing vibrant old-growth forests and swamps, and being touted by ghouls as eco-friendly for being trees)......... it scares me
They're so fucking bad for the British ecosystem, like, they're better than parking lots but only marginally so. Rows of trees of the same age, no dead wood, felled for timber and wood pulp, barely any native animals that can feed off them. Half of all commercial plantations are these monstrosities, AND GUESS WHO DID THIS?
THE VICTORIANS
I HATE THEM AND THEIR WOODEN BLIGHT
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I WILL END YOU, NOXIOUS WEEDS
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scozthewoz · 3 months ago
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mercs as cat breeds + kitty merc headcanons
inspired by/in collaboration with @joonliebe (i changed a few of them sorry pookie 💔)
kitty headcanons are from my cat fortress AU where all the mercs are cats that are foster fails because nobody wants those motherfuckers and now miss pauling is stuck with them all
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spy ▪︎ persian - fancy and high maintenance. the signature bond villain cat
likes to be alone. needs to be taken to the groomer once a week or he gets pissed off and starts tearing up the couch. he has a very strict schedule and if his terms are not followed he throws a tantrum. he also sneaks out of the house and dissapears frequently. a dick to the rest of the cats, except scout for some reason.
heavy ▪︎ siberian - big boys with big coats, comes from siberia
the most well behaved cat there. scarred up and scary looking from his time in the pound, but he's suprisingly very quiet and peaceful. naturally chunky and big boned. miss pauling's favorite. he's a bonded pair with medic, they can normally be found grooming each other. he tends to wrangle scout when he's being too much, he doesn't like to see miss pauling stressed.
pyro ▪︎ sphynx - just a weird lookin thing. also an affectionate and energetic breed that likes to wreak havoc
peculiar little intersex kitty covered in burns, owners died in a house fire (that she may or may not have caused). both eyes are gone, but she navigates just fine. knows how to turn the stove on and has set multiple small fires. miss pauling puts him in cute little sweaters since he doesn't have any fur to keep him warm.
sniper ▪︎ savannah - hybrid of a house cat and a wild serval
very solitary, like spy, but not hostile to the others. owners were an old couple that died and it shook up the already shy cat. miss pauling doesn't need to feed him like the others since he sneaks out and hunts his own meals. almost completely silent unless he's sitting at the window and chirping at birds. evident dislike for spy. quiet and low maintenence so not a huge headache, but he tracks mud in the house. he's very skittish too, runs off or hides whenever there's company.
medic ▪︎ turkish angora - graceful. very majestic. cunty, even
on paper, he seems like a very good cat! he's an ex-service animal that still carries out some service tasks, like deep pressure therapy when miss pauling is getting anxious or retrieving stuff. only problem is that he loves bringing dead things inside, and he goes out of his way to rip it to shreds and get blood and guts ALL over the house. he also has a temper issue, and he needs little kitty glasses because his eyesight is shit.
engineer ▪︎ munchkin - haha short legs!! oh yeah, and they're pretty smart
used to be a workshop cat around for pest control, lost a leg in an accident. workshop guys gave him a kitty sized hardhat he gets very upset without. he's got a hard time jumping up on stuff since he not only has short legs, but he's got a prosthetic one too, so miss pauling made him a few kitty staircases up to his favorite spots. he likes stealing tools from neighbors and and scrap metal from outside and stashes them under the couch.
demoman ▪︎ scottish fold - scottish, prone to eye problems
missing an eye and has some singed fur from teens with fireworks. little kitty eyepatch. he frequently gets into the bailey's irish cream miss pauling keeps on top of the fridge and has to be brought to the vet for liver issues at least once a month.
soldier ▪︎ ragdoll - developed in america !!🇺🇸 tend to rough house when playing and are very vocal
used to belong to a war veteran, then became a stray after he died. clipped ear. his body's kept shaved because of scarring and matting issues, so he's got furry boots and a puffball tail, but the fur on his noggin covers his eyes. he frequently bothers the others. a big sweetheart for miss pauling, but agressive with anyone else. likes fetch. dog in a cat body.
scout ▪︎ siamese - the extroverts of the cat world, very energetic and chatty, also very clever.
his ma and brothers are all siamese, but he's got an oddly fluffy tail like a persian.. he's a big fan of miss pauling, never leaves her alone. gets pissy and scratches the curtains or breaks a glass when she's giving one of the other cats too much attention. wayyy too clingly and always causing some sort of trouble or getting into places he shouldn't. he also meows CONSTANTLY.
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jewishbarbies · 9 months ago
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So I debated for a long time whether to send this or not bc I explicitly do not want to equate what's happening in I/P to fiction or in any way trivialize the very real people who have died
But I find it incredibly ironic (in a bad way) how the leftist circles screaming about Zionism are the same circles that are STILL openly proudly fans of tv shows/books/movies that depict war in genuinely nuanced ways. Ways that EXPLICITLY contradict the black and white narratives exploding in leftist spaces.
So like. Did y'all miss the point or do you think nuance is for fiction only? There are innocent civilians on every side in war and civilians shouldn't be blamed for the actions of their governments --but only in fiction? In the real world it's fine to celebrate civilian casualties as long as they're Israeli? Guilt by association in fiction is bad but every Jewish person should be held accountable for the Israeli military???
Like I'm intentionally not naming any fandoms bc this SHOULDN'T be about fandoms, but the hypocrisy is killing me. They claim to be fans of the "killing civilians is bad even when they're from the Bad Culture™" shows but they're out in the real world denying (or worse celebrating) Oct 7th? They love the fictional characters who say "killing civilians is bad" but can't stand Jewish people mourning the civilians in israel? What???
(again, I'm really not trying to make this extremely real problem about fiction. I just mean the complete lack of self awareness I see every day has me ready to explode. )
no, i get what you mean. i definitely think there's a link between the massive drop in critical thinking and media literacy and the fandomization of real world issues. there's some statistic that gen z is the most politically active of most previous generations and while that's inherently a good thing, they're not engaging with politics and conflicts in responsible ways. they'll do a lot of organizing for a cause here in america and get something done, and then think they can do the same thing for international plights and just end up stepping on everyone's toes, inadvertently perpetuating that america-centric attitude they claim to be against, bc they don't listen.
a lot of people these days refuse to engage with media in the way it's intended and therefore ignore or flat out miss its entire message. you'll have a movie/show/book/whatever about the nuances of war, like the hunger games (which gen z is so completely misinterpreting), and how easy it is to become the person you're fighting against if you let yourself do the things they do eye for an eye style, and they'll come away from that comparing hamas to katniss. it makes no sense within the context of the book's narrative, yet that's the conclusion they draw because they refuse to properly engage. it contradicts their second-hand anger. they're mad about their own shitty life in the states and the powerlessness we all feel here as our rights are being threatened every single day, and they'll look for somewhere else to put it all. so they butt in to situations they don't belong in and make it worse like bulls in a china closet.
bottom line is that they see what they want to see because of their lack of self reflection and self awareness, thus allowing their lack of media literacy, critical thinking, and confirmation bias run the way they think and believe. they've taken "it's fiction" to the point where none of them would pass a basic english class and now palestinians and hamas are all blorbos in The Real World Show.
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thatanimeramenchick · 10 months ago
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Five Love Languages: Dark/Yandere Edition
Let’s take a perfectly wholesome good thing like the Five Love Languages and make it dark and toxic because… I don’t know, I’m literally the worst.
TW: Mentions on dub/non con and verbal abuse; Just general dark romance stuff
Words of Affirmation
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Words are powerful. The pen is mightier than the sword, as it sways the heart. Your lover here will let you know just how much they care for you and every single detail of what they find lovely about you. This is in the typical compliments, but also can be expressed in sweet love letters or messages. At the same time, they will expect you to reciprocate in like manner. If you two are in a more… turbulent era of your relationship, they may withhold things until you tell them what they want to hear and in the proper sweet tone that they expect.
They may also use verbal intimidation to control you. I see them as knowing how to use their tongue to make you feel weak and helpless without them. Also may be the type to tell you that you're "mine" or "you belong to me" if they're on the more dominant side.
Triggers: A fast way to get yourself smacked in the face is to say that you hate them. There are lots of creative ways to rip their heart out though if you have a fast mouth and wit. Pointing out failures, flaws, relationship issues, past traumas will all really get under their skin, and depending on their personality, it may result in some volatile reactions from your “lover.”
Headcannon Examples: France, Vox
Quality Time
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They never want to spend a moment apart from you. If it was up to them, they would have you with them 24/7. This can be impractical though, so, they may simply settle for having you in a closed off space and being able to check in on you whenever they want. I see this also manifesting in nosiness. What are you doing and why? Surely if you aren’t doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide? Besides this, there is a demand for constant undivided attention. When they want you to watch them do something or interact with them, they expect you to do so.
Triggers: The fastest way to piss them off is to purposefully ignore them. The cold shoulder or the silent treatment will get you disciplined. You want to act like you’re too good for them to respond? They’ll find a way to get your attention, and you’re probably not going to enjoy it.
Headcannon Examples: America, Lelouch Vi Britannia, Russia
Acts of Service
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Of all the languages of love, this is the most subtle and faithful. I see these types liking to take the time to “observe” their lover and put in the extra work to make their life pleasant, especially if they’re on the more subservient side. Especially submissive yandere may do all they can to help you achieve your goals. More domineering ones will express this quite differently. Acts of service may also be displayed in wanting you to completely dependent on them. They may upend your life from behind the scenes just so you can be rescued and cared for by them. They can then be your knight in shining armor, saving and caring for you like no one else ever could. More controlling ones may also expect you to assist them in their daily life or with their dirty work.
Triggers: Destroying or interfering with their goals or work. If you’re going to be a spiteful little brat and ruin their life's work, you're going to learn who's in charge around here. While they don’t believe life is tic for tac, you could at least not have the decency to mess with what isn't your business.
Headcannon Examples: Alastor, Germany, Light Yagami
Gifts
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It’s said that your money is where your heart is, and these men believe that. These types take a special giddy joy in buying you things that they know you will enjoy and seeing the look on your face when you receive them. Some of these gifts may be a bit inappropriate for the status of your relationship, such as fine jewelry if you are only friends. If they are the stalking type, they may send you presents based on what they have observed you looking at when you are at the store or online.
On a darker note, I see these types as liking to “collect” little gifts from their lover. And I don’t just mean collecting what you leave lying around. Depending on how extreme they are, they will root through your bags, lockers, drawers, and even your trash to find things to remind them of you. There’s really nothing like lying in bed and breathing in your scent through an old sweater they found in your closet.
Triggers: For your sake, let’s hope you never find their little museum of items. Even if you don’t though, you’re going to be in for it if they give you something important, and you purposefully dispose of it or happen to lose it.
Headcannon Examples: Canada, L, Phantom of the Opera
Physical Touch
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These are types who may be guilty of forced kissing, hugging, and hand holding, as well as insisting you sleep beside them at night. If you are distressed, their solution may be to sit you in their lap and cuddle you until you calm down. I can see this type as falling into the type who is shy and only likes being touchy feely with you, as well as someone who is just touchy in general and therefore wants to shower you with their “love.”
Despite physical touch being their main way of accepting affection, I don’t see them typically trying to rape you, at least not forcefully. I actually see them as being the least likely to do something like that. Physical touch is an expression of love and tenderness, and forcing themselves on you would be the ultimate betrayal of that love. They aren’t above manipulating you into the act though, which would still obviously be along the dubcon/noncon lines. I just don’t see them being directly violent about it.
Triggers: Being physically violent, especially when they are trying to be physically affectionate. Biting or headbutting them when trying to kiss you comes to mind. Physical touch is supposed to be a gentle expression of love, how could you be so cruel as to not only deny them that, but to retaliate with harshness?
Headcannon Examples: North Italy
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castaway-achlys · 2 months ago
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fun, random facts about the boys:
if castor had to choose a pet, he'd be most likely to pick a bird. he's actually had a bird in a private rp with a friend, an owl named archimedes. i don't remember which type of owl in particular, but i do believe it was a smaller one... maybe it was a barn owl?
pollux prefers really weird animals. he's the most likely twin to have something others see as weird or unusual, like a snake or type of bug.
castor's favorite animals are cats! any cats, really, even the big ones.
if pollux had to choose a more "normal" animal, he'd probably pick a fox or opossum, maybe a skunk. brief fun facts: opossums are the ones native to north america, also called "oppos". oppos are traditionally believed to be harbingers of disease, but actually, they don't tend to carry super deadly ones. in fact, it's nearly impossible (note: NEARLY means it's still possible but not at all common) for them to carry rabies due to their low body temp. oppos are also known for playing dead, but this isn't a voluntary thing, as opposed to common belief. when playing dead, an oppo will fall over and appear dead, of course, and will begin to drool, occasionally foam at the mouth to make a predator think its diseased. possums with no o are the ones from australia and they're mean little fuckers :3 as far as skunks, most skunks kept in the usa are required to have their scent glands removed in order to keep as a pet. it varies from state to state and country to country, but in most places, it's totally fine and legal to have a skunk. i *believe* in the uk, they're required to have scent glands in tact, but don't quote me on that. it's been a long time since i've done skunk research. did you know that skunks also come in many different colors? my favorites are the lavender ones :) look it up! their little faces are so precious.
pollux's favorite animal/creature, despite this, are bees!
castor has a way of making friends wherever he goes, though... most aren't human! he's more a cinderella type, where animals adore him.
pollux has a two headed rabbit plush, with one side that is a light green and one side that is yellow! the green one formerly belonged to castor, but was taken away from him at a young age by his mother. when pollux was released, he was given both bunnies, and he had it made into one singular, big plush.
both twins only really care for their dad, but did you know they actually do have a mother figure that they also love? her nickname is nana, and she is an old, dark skinned lady (presumably black, but i haven't fully designed her yet) who works alongside their dad at the bakery. pollux gave her the nickname when he was little, and nana actually helped him begin to learn how society worked, and helped him start to trust his dad. pollux was very untrusting of anyone, but nana always greeted him with kindness and patience, and gave him so much love and good food. nana is actually inspired by my friend's grandpa. he was one of the first people i actually opened up to about my situation at home, and when he found out that i was having hard times, he was one of the first people to help. he occasionally gave me money to help buy food and things my mom and i needed, and he'd always tell me i had a beautiful smile and should show it off more. i also saw him at band concerts and he would make time for me to speak to me afterwards! he was really sweet, and of course, black, so nana also has a dark skin tone. nana is also inspired by all the loving old ladies i've had in my life, who always cook the best food and tell lots of stories and always have room for you in their heart :)
neither twin can play instruments, but both twins love music. castor is most interested in percussion, and pollux is most interested in stringed instruments :)
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therese-lokidottir · 1 year ago
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I'll be one to point that out that some sectors of the MCU are better at addressing this than others, usually the ones where it's strongly implied why others wouldn't be involved or a reason is outright given that seems plausible. To give examples:
Iron Man 3: Rhodey explicitly says the US government wants to prove they can handle threats without the Avengers' help (which is a big reason for the Iron Patriot rebranding of War Machine). Meanwhile, Tony is also cut off from his allies when he's stranded in Tennessee for the middle part of the movie, and by the time he links back up with Rhodey, they're in a race against the clock to rescue the President and Pepper.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier had Steve and Natasha branded as fugitives by HYDRA. Sam's the only ally they can scrounge up until they link up with Fury and Maria.
Ant-Man: Hank Pym harbors his grudge against SHIELD for their misuse of Pym Particles.
Doctor Strange had Wong explaining that the Masters of the Mystic Arts deal with all the mystical threats the Avengers don't deal with (with Endgame later retroactively showing the Ancient One defending the New York Sanctum during the Chitauri invasion).
Ant-Man and the Wasp and Endgame established Scott and Clint as being on house arrest as a result of the fallout from Civil War to explain their lack of involvement in Infinity War.
Black Widow justifies the lack of other heroes' involvement (and Natasha and Yelena instead having to team up with their adopted parents) by being set during the immediate fallout from Civil War.
The Netflix shows had the reasons strongly implied: with the Hand, they were a shadow organization. The storylines in each season of Jessica Jones involve cases very personal for Jessica. The Punisher sees Frank's stories happen largely disconnected from the rest of the shows save for the Turk Barrett and Karen Page cameos because the other heroes wouldn't tolerate his use of lethal force on criminals. Daredevil season 3 had Matt in a mentally bad place post-Midland Circle, as well as Fisk using the FBI to tarnish him, Karen, and Foggy.
Honestly I think WandaVision belongs on this list because there's good reasons for the other Avengers to not be involved (the Hex erases' outsiders knowledge of Westview existing, only about a day passed between SWORD determining Wanda was behind the Hex and Wanda taking down the Hex; and Hayward wouldn't want the Avengers poking around when he's in the process of desecrating the corpse of one of their own and framing another for his crimes), though Strange's reasons for not getting involved as mentioned in DSMOM are pushing it.
I mean fair enough there are better explanations then others. When it's stuff like CAWS it's fine to go with idea of we're dealing with the situations as it comes and we don't have the time or the means to call anyone in. With the netflix shows the characters ran in different circles so you don't expect them to be able to call on anyone.
WandaVision is an interesting example because originally Doctor Strange was going to be there. That watch commercial was originally meant to be alluded to him trying to get through to Wanda.
I think it only really becomes a problem when people in-universe ask why can't they call someone and the answer is always just "No, because reason. Shut up." like they never give a good explanation
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themculibrary · 9 months ago
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Fics Named After Locations Masterlist
A Long Way From Budapest (ao3) - AlphaFlyer clint/natasha, clint/laura T, 14k
Summary: Natasha remembers letting go. She remembers falling, endlessly, the jagged black rocks rising to meet her. And then, nothing – until the moment her eyes and her mind opened to the golden glow.
Avengers At Disney World (ao3) - ctxrover clint/natasha, steve/bucky T, 70k
Summary: Fury's fed up of the Avengers not behaving like a team, so he's sending them on a bonding trip to Disney World with Hill as their babysitter. Meanwhile, Coulson rarely gets to spend time with his kids so he takes them to Disney World. The problem? They're going at the same time as the Avengers-who don't know of Coulson's survival. Some sort of AU. Clintasha. Some Stucky. Rated T.
Brooklyn (ao3) - togina steve/bucky T, 8k
Summary: “Captain America, what’s your stance on gay marriage?”
Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.
Budapest (ao3) - JunesPegasus N/R, 4k
Summary: Clint Barton aka Hawkeye is sent to eliminate a Russian assassin: Natasha Romanova. But he is soon enchanted by her seductive charme and things turn out way different than he planned.
Clint's a Nerd From Iowa (ao3) - Big_Hazard bucky/clint T, 4k
Summary: Part of the Avengers shows up on Clint's lawn. He doesn't want them there, but he's also too lazy to make them leave. Clint shows them around Iowa anyway because he's a nice guy, and somewhere along the way secrets that weren't really secrets come out.
Disney World (ao3) - Kenzie_Marvel G, 9k
Summary: Natasha and Tony takes Yelena and Peter to Disney World, cute chaos ensues. :)
ever since new york (ao3) - 1000_directions clint/phil M, 1k
Summary: “You’ve been here longer than I have,” Clint says, and he looks into Phil’s eyes. “Is this heaven or hell? I mean, you died. And you’re here. So I guess I’m dead, too, right?”
“I did die,” Phil says thoughtfully. “But only a little bit. I got better.”
Here's to Las Vegas (ao3) - iam93percentstardust steve/tony T, 1k
Summary: The day after Steve gets married, he wakes up in a Las Vegas hotel with a ring on his finger and Tony Stark snuggled up beside him.
Las Vegas (ao3) - elcapitan_rogers steve/natasha M, 219k
Summary: Steve was freaking out over his own wedding and the gang decided to take him to Las Vegas to unwind him.
Malibu (ao3) - glitteratiglue steve/bucky M, 13k
Summary: Steve believes Bucky is dead for exactly a week. Then he doesn't.
(AU where Steve rescues Bucky before Hydra can turn him into the Winter Soldier. They get to go home from the war, but that's only the start.)
Malibu Madness (ao3) - Vanilla98 steve/tony, clint/natasha E, 35k
Summary: After an eventful semester at school, Tony brings Steve and his four other friends to his new house in Malibu. There, they get to see what Tony goes through at home. And to be honest, they're not impressed. Howard Stark is always abusing him, Maria Stark is barely at home and there is only so much Jarvis and Ana can handle. Moreover, they can see Tony struggling to hold up his masks. Will they, especially Steve, be able to convince Tony that he is going to be okay and that they will always be there for him?
nevada heat, nevada streets (ao3) - loverloser steve/tony G, 4k
Summary: steve rogers takes a ride, and his bike breaks down in las vegas, nevada. tony stark's garage is the only one with a light on.
New York (ao3) - capsiclewidow steve/natasha T, 5k
Summary: Some days were okay. Some weren’t. None of them were ever good.
It came in waves. She’d be fine for a while - not good, only fine - and then suddenly she’d reach into her closet for a clean shirt, pull one out that didn’t belong to her, and Steve would find her curled up in bed wearing one of Clint’s old flannels shaking with tears she refused to let him see. She hated it, despised the person she’d turned into, which made everything worse. She wouldn’t speak to him for days at a time, but he’d still be there, making sure she ate and drank water and worked out every once in a while and didn’t spend too much time alone.
Two years and he still refused to leave her.
No Sleep 'Till Brooklyn (ao3) - softdadironman T, 6k
Summary: For someone with such a strong sense of responsibility (if you've ever talked to Peter, you know he spits out the phrase "With great power comes great responsibility" on the daily), Peter was a reckless piece of work.
In which Peter juggles his duties as Spider-Man, as a student, as a part time employee, as an Avenger, and as a kid.
Seduced in Sokovia (ao3) - Sholio T, 2k
Summary: "You're not looking close enough," Bucky said. "Read the titles."
Sam picked up the nearest book, on which a woman in a long purple gown was being either menaced or romanced—it was sort of hard to tell—by a dark-haired, pirate-like man in a flowing white shirt. There was a castle in the background that looked stereotypically medieval. The title was—
 "...Sold to the Sokovian?"
That's What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas (ao3) - LordOfThePoptarts natasha/tony M, 3k
Summary: Natasha and Tony have been dancing around each other for a year now. Both are perfectly happy to use the other as post-battle stress relief and 3 AM post-nightmare confidants, but they are the very definition of consummate professionals when they aren't alone and in highly emotionally charged situations. All that changes when the two attend a gala in Las Vegas.
The Only Guy Steve Knows Who Lives In Brooklyn (ao3) - Beans (provetheworst) clint/natasha T, 27k
Summary: Clint’s the only guy Steve knows who lives in Brooklyn, which is probably why the Winter Soldier starts hanging around his apartment. Clint has had worse houseguests, but even that doesn’t explain how he ends up on a thirty three hour flight to Madripoor trying to save the guy Captain America’s probably in love with from mad scientists.
What Happens in Budapest…Comes Home to Roost (ao3) - MarbleGlove clint/laura T, 4k
Summary: Found family and unexpected allies, monsters that needed killing and recovering from brainwashing, … yeah, the New York alien invasion really did remind Natasha of Budapest.
What happens in Vegas... (ao3) - asamandra clint/tony, pepper/tony M, 6k
Summary: When Tony was dying from palladium poisoning he ended very drunk in Las Vegas... and married...
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shatar-aethelwynn · 2 years ago
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I posted 5,571 times in 2022
That's 3,016 more posts than 2021!
417 posts created (7%)
5,154 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@somecunttookmyurl
@bubobubosibericus
@a-tempest-in-a-teapot
@23-tiny-wishes
@rudjedet
I tagged 691 of my posts in 2022
#academic fun - 44 posts
#i made a thing - 22 posts
#stitchy goals - 21 posts
#the bin of holding - 11 posts
#want - 10 posts
#christianity - 7 posts
#omg - 6 posts
#gnu terry pratchett - 5 posts
#same - 4 posts
#yes please - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#why is 'unsolicited adult content' not a reporting category unless it's at harassment levels? does sporadic randomness count as harassment?
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
This is your regularly scheduled reminder: Sarcasm and other forms of verbal joking generally require tone of voice, facial/body cues, or a previously established relationship to be understood as humorous. Text is famously not very good at conveying tone of voice or facial cues. There are methods developing for this, but they are not yet universally consistent. Humor is also partially cultural, and we live in a multicultural world where what you and your friends recognize to be a common form of joking may be unfamiliar to someone else, and therefore not immediately recognized as being intended as humor. When you attempt to make sarcastic jokes to someone who does not know you, do not be surprised if they do not assume the tone of voice you imagine and instead assume you are being serious and react accordingly. This is not necessarily malicious on anyone's part, but it is a great source of miscommunication on sites such as this where text is the primary mode of communication. Please be considerate.
523 notes - Posted October 12, 2022
#4
Took a trip to the MET yesterday, orimarily to see the new Polychromy and Kimono exhibits. Since I was asked to report back on them (is if you could stop me) prepare for photos!
While there was a video that had a digital reconstruction of a piece that included a lot of shading and depth most of the recreation pieces were painted with simple solid colors. There are reasons for this. So while it's likely that the painting was more intricate in antiquity, it was fun to see all the many colors used.
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684 notes - Posted September 4, 2022
#3
Cursed mental image: Greek gods but with the heads of animals they're associated with in the manner of the Roman Egyptian statues. Athena's owl head turns 180 degrees to look at you. Zeus shows up with an eagle's head and ok, weird, but Horus is a falcon so it's fine. The next day he has a swan's head and its time to back away in a hurry because we don't mess with those demons. Poseidon...dolphin heads don't belong on people bodies. The horse isn't much better. Ares is outside playing frisbee with Anubis.
904 notes - Posted May 19, 2022
#2
Today in "I don't think that means what I think you mean": overheard a coworker tell the boss someone had "a liturgy of questions" and I'm just sat there going "..what??" Litany. A litany of questions. A litany can be part of a liturgy, but a liturgy is not a litany.
This has been your "words that sound similar but aren't, isn't English fun" lesson of the day.
1,765 notes - Posted October 27, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
It's the year 2460 and a small debate has errupted. The cause: a photo of an early 21st century American street where a sign saying "shots available" can be seen. Someone has made the claim that this sign is for an ammunitions store because "projectile ammunition is counted by the number of shots it has available, and everyone in America had guns at this time". The weapons enthusiasts swarm over this claim, angry over this blatant inaccuracy. Everyone is about to learn about period arms whether they want to or not. The historians and linguistic experts of the period are appealed to and they explain that it likely refers to vaccines but a few who have not seen the image say that a less likely but plausible alternative was for alcoholic beverages depending on the location the sign was found. A not insignificant group of non-experts insists that they are all wrong and that it refers to a persons-connection service on the basis that one "takes a shot" when seizing an opportunity or entering into a relationship. If shots are "available" they can "be taken". This prompts a few "*winkwinknudgenudge* take a shot" comments. One wiseass says maybe it was a typo and was supposed to say "shorts available" prompting a thorough breakdown of how corporate signage was created and distributed at the time. "X Available" signs become a meme for a period. Everyone agrees that English was always a confusing language.
2,200 notes - Posted September 24, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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unbounded-cardinality · 1 month ago
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We are on the right path. The economy is fine. Share prices are healthy and up. A vote for Trump would be an adventurous turn into the unknown.
"He's a Nazi." -- Yale Law School graduate J.D. Vance about Donald Trump in or around 2016.
We need to think hard about this
Where I grew, if you threw rocks at the schoolhouse, you would get suspended -- and possibly expelled entirely. We are now being asked, once again, to elect Donald Trump to the highest public office in America. But he didn't simply throw rocks at the schoolhouse. In plain terms, he attempted to destroy it -- insinuating in no uncertain terms that Vice-President Pence ought to hang, and then exhorting his supporters on January 6, 2021 to sack The Congress and halt the peaceful transfer of power.
Trump did not merely exhort his followers -- he sat idly by and watched the sacking for hours on end as peacekeepers and law enforcement officers were physically assaulted.
This is no Command-in-Chief who seeks law and order. This is a radicalized individual keen on undoing the freedoms and liberties and peace that Americans have fought and died for. Not only does he not belong in The White House. He should be nowhere near Capitol Hill -- the legislative body with which he is asked to make laws and policy to server the greater good of the country.
He did not debate a single G.O.P. contender, and then lost in the one public debate he had with Democratic candidate Harris
Shamefully, we are now asked to vote for Donald Trump -- when in fact, he did not debate a single G.O.P. contender during the entire primary season. And then the one public debate he did have with the opposition -- with Vice-President Harris -- he lost soundly.
Is this any surprise?
Trump has been given too many passes
The right-wing press, his peers, Wall Street, the business community -- many have given Trump lightweight treatment. And this in the face of obviously traitorous inclinations.
He took home top-top secret documents. Did he sell them?
The FBI and CIA probably know what Trump took home. They're not going to tell Americans because it's horrifying to think the obvious: did President Trump sell our nuclear secrets to Vladimir Putin or some other enemy?
We can't dismiss that possibility. And yet, we are asked to vote for Trump for president.
Is this really happening?
How did we ever get here?
The G.O.P. It's that simple. Respectable graduates of Yale and Harvard and Stanford -- writers, attorneys, investors -- have knowingly embraced a deeply compromised candidate in the name of selfish motives: lower taxes, possibly pro-defense hawks, maybe nativists averse to the browning of America.
But not only that, the current Trump platform is premised on a lie -- that the 2020 election was stolen.
For our best educated citizens -- the ones we entrust with our nation's leadership in business and banking and defense and health -- for them to be compelled to subscribe to a lie in the name of whatever selfish motives move them -- this in short is a tragic undoing of who we are as a people and nation.
Line up the generals
Our military generals need to be ready. If Trump takes the helm, we have to assume the worst -- that our enemies have penetrated The White House. There is no way I would believe a word Trump says or follow his directives. No way.
This, in short, would be the most vacuous presidency ever. What power would Trump have? He would be a figurehead -- smiling to the cameras and participating in street cheers with supporters.
But there simply is no way our military can entrust serious national decisions to someone who is compromised.
October 22, 2024
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nothorses · 3 years ago
Note
what are your thoughts on the NYT/transbucket situation?
the nyt published an article namedropping transbucket as a place to see trans genitals and genital confirmation surgery results. the site is down and I’ve seen some people saying it was brigaded by white supremacists, but I haven’t confirmed. in any case that site was by and for trans people and (even unintentionally) directing thousands of cis readers to vulnerable people’s pictures to gawk at and redistribute is a huge breach of ethics. the author was trans, and should have known better.
someone else mentioned some really good points on the content as well:
“I agree that there’s a lot in the article that’s fine or even good. Honestly, what I take most issue with is the coy mentions of how bottom surgery seems like a contradiction in the face of trans advocacy (IIRC it explicitly mentions “men can have vaginas and women can have penises” as a point of friction with bottom surgery), and likens phallo groups to frats. There’s a whole bit on the phallus as a force of violence in philosophy/culture and phallic anxiety, and ends in Ben calling himself a “bad trans” for getting bottom surgery.
I honestly find these discussions interesting and in some ways important, as someone who sees a lot of stress in trans circles to define when we are our genders and what being trans means, and as someone constantly unpacking guilt for being a binary trans man and my role in patriarchy. But this conversation does not belong in cis hands (not the author, but the audience). Especially in the political climate of famous authors being loud TERFs, restriction of trans health care, and attacks on bodily autonomy in a sea of misogyny and gendered violence—now is the worst possible time to write an article that frames bottom surgery as gender essentialist and, in the case of trans men, patriarchal.”
here’s an example quote from the article on this:
“This narrative unfolds within a mass cultural one, in which America, at a larger scale than ever, tries to come to terms with what defines a man or a woman. In this context, phalloplasty occupies an impossible position, seemingly upholding both the malleability of sex and the essentialist claim that the penis makes the man.”
I read through the article, and it seems incredible well-intentioned and, honestly, I don't see the "phallo bad" type comments you're describing either. If anything, the article seems to be working to fight those narratives.
There are several mentions of the friction between the gender-affirming aspects and the "but feminism" aspects of phallo, but these seem to be explicitly calling attention to the problems as not the fault of transmascs.
i.e. it discusses phallo as "seemingly upholding both the malleability of sex and the essentialist claim that the penis makes the man" not as a criticism of phallo, but as a criticism transphobic society has of phallo. The passage you quoted is from a section in the article where they're discussing how and why transmascs are discouraged from getting phallo, the historical marginalization of the surgery, and the societal response to knowing about it: can men really be made? Do they need to have a penis? Isn't it misogynistic to want a penis? Isn't it transphobic to think you need one?
Ultimately, the article sides with phallo: it's a validating and even life-saving procedure. It makes people feel happy with themselves and at peace with their bodies. Dysphoria is not a social commentary, and wanting a penis means nothing about how you consider women.
Even the "bad trans" comment is presented in a really bad-faith light. Here's the context:
He reflected on how surgery had changed him. The whole thing had taken just over four years, and in that time, his confidence improved. His relationship with his family had changed. His penis had improved his relationship to manhood, allowing him to inhabit the role with much less friction. He had told me in another conversation that this made sense for a small-town guy like him, but half-joked that it made him “a bad trans.”
Transmascs face self-doubt and come under scrutiny, internal and external, while considering and getting phallo. We are very, very often called "bad trans" for wanting to be men, for wanting to change our bodies to be like men, or just for wanting to change our bodies at all. Many of us internalize those feelings, even if we know they're silly.
That's something we need to recognize in order to unpack and, hopefully, change within society as a whole.
As far as linking transbucket goes, it seems like a well-intentioned mistake. The author likely included it in an effort to bring more resources to trans people who need them, and didn't consider that it might come under fire as a result. That sucks, but they've also removed it already at the request of transbucket. Hopefully they know better now, and it doesn't happen again. The real blame for attacks on tranbucket should fall to the people attacking.
Honestly, the article seems really informational and helpful. Phalloplasty is under-discussed and even generally reviled by a lot of people, including the trans community. More information, better information, and insight into the experience is a good way to fight that, even if it just starts with changing the minds of transmascs ourselves.
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babygirl-diaz · 3 years ago
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bucky finds a three legged pitbull and brings it home. steve is on the fence about keeping it cause they're away on missions a lot. sam is all for it because he's always wanted a dog. hard cut to them having three dogs and some cats.
((This has been sitting in my asks for 4 months and I FINALLY got around to write it. Sorry anon, I've had writer's block for so long! I hope this finds its way to you and you like it.))
***
Bucky finds him when he’s on his way home after buying a couple things from the bodega. He sees the dog sitting in a cardboard box, trying to shield itself from the freezing cold. Bucky’s heart breaks when the gray Pitbull gives him the saddest look. He takes out a bag of cheese puffs from his plastic bag, opens it, and feeds some to the dog, who happily crunches on it. “You like it, huh?” Bucky asks the dog and scratches it behind the ear. “Me too.” Bucky gives the dog a last pat on the head before heading back towards his apartment.
As he walks home, Bucky can feel someone following him. He reaches into his jeans pocket and his vibranium fingers wrap around the switchblade he keeps in there. When he turns around, he doesn’t find anyone behind him until he looks down. It was the gray Pitbull.
“Hey, buddy, are you following me?” Bucky asks the dog, who just wags his tail and then makes his way to Bucky on his three legs. “I can’t take you home with me, big guy,” Bucky sighs and gets down to pat the dog again, who happily licks his face all over. “No matter how much I want to,” Bucky adds sadly.
Bucky gets up to leave again, but he still feels the dog following him. He turns around once again and finds the dog looking at him with his sad eyes, and Bucky’s resolve breaks. “Fine,” he sighs. “Come on. I can’t leave you out here on your own on Christmas.
When he reaches home, Bucky looks down at the dog, “You can be a menace later but right now, be on your best behavior. We want Sam and Steve to love you as much as I do.” With that, he opens the apartment door and leads the dog inside, where he finds Sam and Steve making out on the couch and clears his throat. “Couldn’t wait for me?”
“You were taking too lon—“ Sam stops mid-sentence. “Uh… Bucky… what’s that?”
“Cheese puffs?” Bucky replies.
“I think he’s referring to the three-legged dog next to you, babe,” says Steve.
“Right… the dog…” Bucky trails off.
“Yes, the dog. Why is there a dog in our house?” Steve continues to ask.
“He was starving and cold and it’s Christmas and I couldn’t leave him out there?” Bucky replies.
“I’ve always wanted a dog.” Sam gets down beside the dog, who cowers behind Bucky at first but then slowly comes out when Sam offers him his hand to sniff to let him know he is safe.
Bucky watches in awe as Sam plays with the dog. Sam looks so carefree and stress-free. Bucky hasn’t seen his boyfriend like this in a long time. Captain America duties really take a lot out of him.
“We can’t keep him,” Steve says.
“Why not?” Asks Bucky
“Are you seriously asking me that?” Steve frowns at him. “First of all, we don’t know who he belongs to—“
“He doesn’t have a collar, Steve,” says Bucky. “I don’t think he belongs to anyone.”
“How are we supposed to take care of him? We know nothing about dogs,” Steve tries again.
“We can always learn,” Sam chimes in before cupping the dog’s face and kissing the top of his head.
“Sam’s right. We can always learn to take care of Christmas,” Bucky continues to try and persuade Steve.
“Christmas? You named our dog Christmas?” Sam asks incredulously.
“Yeah, I found him on Christmas, so I figured I’d name him Christmas,” Bucky replies proudly.
“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t find him on Fourth of July then,” Sam says with a roll of his eyes.
“If I found him on the Fourth of July, then I would have named him Steve. Get it? Cause it’s Steve’s birthday that day.”
“Yeah, yeah, we all got that.” Steve sighs. “But we’re still not keeping him.”
Bucky pouts at him in return. “Why not?”
“Because we’re always out on missions. Who will look after him?” Steve asks. “So no, he’s going back where he came from.” He adds sternly.
***
One Year Later
***
Bucky smiles as he leans against the wall with his coffee.
“He looks so peaceful, doesn’t he?”
Bucky hears Sam’s voice and looks over to find him standing next to him. Sam steals the coffee mug from Bucky, making him chase after it. “Hey!” When Sam just smirks and takes a sip, Bucky glares at him. “Yeah, he does look peaceful,” Bucky replies, looking at Steve again.
“Remember when he didn’t want a dog?” Sam chuckles, taking another sip of the coffee.
“And now we have Valentine and Easter too.” Bucky smiles as he watches Steve surrounded by three dogs where he is asleep on the floor.
Sam leans his head against Bucky’s shoulder, who wraps his arms around Sam’s shoulders and kisses the top of his head. “Where are Alpine and Figaro?” Bucky asks when he realizes their cats are nowhere to be seen.
“Exploring the great outdoors, as always,” Sam replies.
“Those two really love Delacroix, don’t they?” Bucky chuckles.
“Don’t we all?”
“True. We made the best decision moving here,” Bucky says, and captures Sam’s lips in a sweet kiss. “Thank you,” he says, pulling apart.
“For what?” Sam asks.
“For everything. If you hadn’t pushed Steve that day to let Christmas stay, we wouldn’t have our big family today.”
“Hey… I’m feeling left out,” Bucky hears Steve’s voice and looks over to find him sitting up on the floor. His hair a complete mess, and his eyes still filled with sleep.
Both Bucky and Sam make their way over to Steve on the floor, careful not to wake the dogs up, and they each give him a kiss.
“I need more sleep.” Steve yawns, leaning his head against Bucky’s shoulder.
“Then go back to sleep,” Sam says, reaching out to touch Steve’s cheek.
“Will you guys join me?”
“Sure,” Bucky replies and lies down on the floor beside Valentine. The white Pitbull stirs in his sleep but didn’t wake up, much to Bucky’s relief.
Steve lies down in the middle and Bucky immediately cuddles him from behind while Steve cuddles Sam. Just as sleep starts to take over Bucky, he feels something nudge against his feet and looks down to see Alpine making herself comfortable. Figaro, being the diva he is, climbs on the couch and falls asleep there.
Bucky smiles as he finds himself surrounded by the warmth of his family.
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papipopsicle · 4 years ago
Text
HANDMADE HEAVEN PART ONE
Pairing: Steve Harrington X Hargrove!Reader
Summary: In which the new Queen of Hawkins High finds herself falling for the fallen king.
Song: Easier by 5 Seconds of Summer
Warnings: swearing, asshole parental figures
Words: 1.7K
MASTERLIST
feedback is always appreciated
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The house itself was fine, not pretty and polished like the one she grew up in, but at the very least she was grateful not to be sleeping in another motel bed filled with broken springs and anonymous stains. Susan greeted her like a good little home maker, tightly waved hair bouncing against her shoulders as she walked down the steps of the porch.
"How was it, sweetie?" The ginger woman waited with pursed lips while her step daughter stood from the vehicle. She really hated that car, it stood out like a sore thumb next to her husband's silver SUV, especially when her brothers parked alongside the two.
"Not the worst." Y/N shrugged. She missed the silent solace already, "Has Max decided which room she wants?"
Susan nodded, leading the blonde into their new home, "She's at the back opposite your father and I. William hasn't arrived yet so you have the choice of the one next to hers or ours."
Without hesitation she chose the one next to Max's. Her father helped unload her heavier furniture from the U-Haul currently fixed to the back of her red muscle car. The room was in the shape on an 'L', mirroring her step sister's. Her small double bed only just managed to fit in the crook, creating a cosy space to drift away in.
Hours of rearranging the room passed before a navy blue Camaro could be heard pulling up onto the curb and a muggy sunset made itself present in her bedroom window. Emptying out her socks into the small drawer of her dresser, Y/N dropped the empty black bin liner behind her and rushed to greet her brother.
"Billy!" She squealed, attacking him with a hug. The two would roughhouse and swear at each other like drunken sailors, but their love for each other would always be the first thing anyone noticed about the twins. He picked her up with ease and spun her around, quickly dropping her to the floor again.
Y/N's twin would sometimes forget the rude masculine persona he put on and actually behaved like himself, but it never lasted long with their father close by.
"See that hunk of crap didn't kill you on the way here then?" Billy joked as they both carried a bed frame into his new room. His distaste for the nineteen-sixty-eight Mustang Cobra was evident whenever it came up in conversation, only due to it being left to her rather than him in their mother's will.
"Not just yet." His sister hummed and the two let out a huff as they dropped the mattress onto the wooden frame. They talked about the bullshit of finishing their senior year at a completely different school and what that we're going to dress up as for Halloween. It was their favourite holiday and this year she planned on being Tom Cruise from Risky Business. Nobody would understand it but it was better than Billy's 'slutty teen boy' costume he wore most days anyway.
"Y/N/N honey, could you come into the lounge!" Susan's sugary tone rang through the house. The twins shared a look that always subconsciously found their faces when she attempted to play doting step mother.
Fucking doormat of a woman.
"Coming." The blonde shut her brothers door on the way out and walking down the hallway into the small living area. By now any remnants of the sun had long hidden away from Hawkins and only warm ceiling lights lit up her face.
Susan appeared from the kitchen door with a tray full of oatmeal cookies, grin etched into her features like puppet strings pulling at her cheeks, "Try one, would you?" She gleamed, pushing the metal tray out for emphasis, "I'd ask your father but he'd just say they were nice, never wants to upset me. He's too good."
Not wanting to answer, Y/N took a small crumbly cookie and bit into it, eyes bugging out at the statement only able to nod in response.
The step mother watched in anticipation, hair bouncing at her shoulders as usual, "So, gorgeous? Be honest with me, how are they?"
"Really good," She didn't like the woman, but couldn't deny her ability to copy a recipe, "I think these may even top the peanut butter ones."
Susan's sterile smile managed to stretch further and Y/N was scared her lips may crack and bleed from the force, "Perfect! We're handing them out to our new neighbours tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need you to get some new trainers for Maxine tomorrow, nothing expensive though, they're just for gym class. She's a four now.
The blonde resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and instead nodded while an idea popped into her head, "I drove past a giant superstore on my way here, I'm sure they're still open I can just go now."
"Are you sure, honey?" Susan sounded concerned, but Neil didn't share the same feelings, "Curfew is eleven until you start school on Monday, same rules apply here."
"I know, Dad." She nodded curtly and turned on her heel, not wasting a moment grabbing her brothers old khaki bomber jacket and her car keys. The front door shut just as quickly as it opened, leaving the small U Haul sitting on the driveway next to Billy's Camaro.
It had been her brother's favourite jacket since he was sixteen, but he'd gained so much muscle his arms couldn't slip into it anymore. Although Y/N was tall for the average girl, the material still managed to shroud her frame.
Y/N felt amazed after managing to get to the store fairly easily, she picked up some plain black pumps and paid for them with cash, pocketing the receipt to make sure Neil would reimburse her. That took less than fifteen minutes. There were still over two hours until she needed to be back at the house and she needed to make the most of any freedom from her father.
She was her mother's daughter and the opposite of Susan Mayfield-Hargrove; if someone showed themselves as a thorn and not the rose they seemed to be, they were a thorn. She could accept it and move on, which is difficult when they own the house she calls home. Her step mother was a fixer, finding wilted petals and taping them up against the thorn to appear more sightly. If Neil was the thorn, Y/N the rose, then Susan was a daisy in a field where she didn’t belong.
The younger Hargrove twin decided to explore her new home, driving around cul-de-sacs and roads which mirrored one another. After a while of aimless driving, Y/N parked up at the side of a quiet road, seeming to back onto a rich neighbourhood. She locked the muscle car, Ellie, and began walking on the edge of the road.
"Stay put, El." She whispered to herself, echoing her mother's voice. Meredith Hargrove always swore her car changed parking spaces whenever they went somewhere together.
Y/N couldn't imagine having so much space, no family was big enough to make use of it all. Her feet brought her into the small forest area, passing a few more eccentric gardens before finding one which intrigued her. The lights were all off, moonlight bouncing off the unmoving water in the centre of the garden.
Swimming had always been something the Hargrove girl not only loved but turned to in uncertainty. Billy would surf alongside her a long time ago, but he hadn't for years now. Her eyes danced around each room, unable to see any kind of life within the mansion. Against Y/N’s better judgement, she left the tall trees and let her toes edge onto someone's private property.
It seems a shame not to.
Fallen leaves stopped crunching under her brown boots as they found concrete slabs. The family must have employed a cleaner and gardener as nothing seemed out of place or dirty. The water was clear and not a single leaf or bug lay on its surface. Crouching down, her fingers drifted along the water, creating a small ripple, confirming her suspicions of how cold it would be.
She didn't care, stripping down into her underwear in the cool autumnal winds, anyone would've thought she was a crazy person. Y/N ignored the small ladder next to her and gracefully dived into the pool, swimming down to the bottom until she needed to come back up for air. The blonde lay on her back, staring up at the stars wondering what her friends were doing on the other side of America. Probably at Sadie's getting high.
Y/N wasn't sure how much time had passed, her fingertips were now wrinkled but it didn't bother her. She was in her element, so much so she didn't register when the kitchen light turned on and alerted the homeowner of someone in their pool.
Steve's body was overcome with terror as he did a double, triple take out of the kitchen window at the figure in his garden. He only wanted some leftover lasagne. Grabbing his nail punctured bat, the home alone teenager unlocked the back door, and against his own better judgement, creeped towards the intruder.
As he came closer, he was thankful to find a girl than a demogorgan, a girl he certainly didn't recognise. Her blonde hair lay on top of the water like a halo as she floated in her own world.
"Hello?" He questioned, bat still firmly in hand, "Why the fuck are you naked in my pool?"
Y/N left her mini trance, flailing in the water as her eyes found a teenage boy wielding an odd weapon, only a scream leaving her lips in response.
part two?
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valeriethepussycats · 4 years ago
Text
Assemble
Chapter 3
Pairing- Loki x Reader x Steve (one side)
Warning- cursing 
Your thoughts and other characters are in italics.
Flashback Bold
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The next day.  Y/n  is standing outside a gym trying to keep her powers under control but but it’s hard when your surrounded by people.
What’s in my fridge right now?....Do I have any milk?
I think I’m pregnant with my brother in-law baby’s
How come you never read about a psychic
winning the lottery?
Am I Ashy? I hope I’m not Ashy.
Why is  Batman a superhero when he brutally Beats up bad guys for saying hello.
When I get home I’m watching A Bug’s Life.
Calming down the voices she finally walks inside the gym and see Captain America. He’s beats the punching bag harder, like physically hurting it will repress the memories.
Hydra base, Captain America is running through a forest, didging mortar shells, gunfire and Tesseract energy blasts.
“There's not enough time! I gotta put her in the water!” Steve’s Voice echoed.
In the present, Steve's punches become harder and more violent.
Steve places the compass he has, featuring a picture of Peggy Carter, on the dash as the plane plummets towards the ice.
The present, punches become voilent and agressive.
“You won't be alone.” Peggy declared.
Red skull picked up the Tesseract, and vanishes.
In the present, Steve is beathing the bag with everything he has, destroying it and beating his fists.
“Oh my god!”
Steve is lying on a table, half frozen, and still partially trapped in a slab of ice. Two SHIELD scientists run equipment over him, checking for his vitals. Something flickers...
“This guy is still alive!”
Y/n  gets pulled out of Steve’s mind. “Wow. That one way to come backwards to the world.
“You punch any harder your fist is gonna go though it.“
Steve stops punching the bag and turns around and see Y/n. “Agent Munroe ma’am. Phil told me that you were coming.”
“Y/n. Just call me Y/n.” She said with a smile.
Steve starts to punch the bag again. “It's nice to meet.”
“Likewise. So how do you feel?” Y/n asked showing concern for a man she just met.
Y/n walks up to a punching bag next to Steve and, starts playfully punching it.
“Like I belong in a different time.....all of this is so strange. Flat screen TVs, cars that run on electricity.....” Steve trailed off.
“It’s understandable but look at the bright side you can have food deliver to your house.” Y/n said with a fond look.
Steve looks at Y/n confused.
“Pizza. Chinese food... Oh men we have to make some stops before we go to Shield.” Y/n  proclaimed.
“We don’t have time to make stops. They need us this is important.” Steve protested.”You’re right they do. But you need to experience this first and I know you're hungry.” Y/n insisted.
Steve sigh defeat. “Ok fine but only for an hour two at it’s tops.”
“Yes! You dont know it yet but This the start of an beautiful friendship.” Y/n said With a sincere smile as her and Steve walk out the gym.
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
Inside the Quinjet, Steve is sitting down with a tablet, watching the footage of the Hulk's attack on the Army at Culver University.
“We're about forty minutes out from base, sir.” One of the pilots said
Agent Coulson stands up from his seat and wipe his face with a napkin.
Francis’s pizza is so good.
Y/n chuckles as Coulson and walks over to her and Steve.
“So, this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum that was used on me?” Steve asked.
“A lot of people were. I was assign to stop some of them. You were the world's first superhero.” Y/n  replied.
“Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula.” Coulson informed Steve.
The Hulk roars with fury as he slams a jeep apart.
“Didn't really go his way, did it?” Steve queried.
“Not so much. When he's not that thing though, guy's like a Stephen Hawking” Coulson explained.
Steve looks confused.
Y/n leans over and whispers. “He's a smart person.”
“I gotta say, it’s an honor to meet you, officially.” Steve smiles at Coulson as he continues. “I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping.”  Steve looks down then a Y/n. He stands up, closes his laptop and walks to the side with Coulson following. “I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board.”
“Smooth. Real smooth Coulson.” Y/n lied.
“Well, I hope I'm the man for the job.” Steve remarked.
“Of course you are you’ve done amazing things in the past. You’re the perfect person for this job.” Y/n said sincerely and with a small smile.
“Ya Absolutely. Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input.”  Coulson told Steve.
“The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old fashioned?” Steve supposed.
“With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned.” Coulson stated.
As Steve takes in Coulson's sentiment. The Quinjet lands down a massive battleship known as the Helicarrier. It has two runways. One with direct access to a hangar at the rear is aligned along the spine of the vessel.  Y/n walks up to Phill.
“Does the name Ororo Munroe mean anything to you?” Y/n questioned.
“No. Does it suppose to.” Coulson lied.
“No I guess not.” Y/n remarked not hiding her disappointment.
Agent Coulson, Y/n, and  Steve walk down the ramp, meeting up with Natasha.
“Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers.” Coulson said introducing the two.
“Ma’am?” Steve replied.
“Hi.” She looks at Coulson. “They need you on the bridge. They're starting the face-trace.”
“Nat” Y/n said happily. “I didn’t know you were going to be here Coulson doesn’t tell me anything.” Y/n hugs Natasha then they both look at Coulson like ‘explain.’
“See you there.” Coulson said walks away, leaving Steve and Y/n with Natasha, the pair walking towards the railing of the Helicarrier.
“It was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?” Natasha wondered.
“Trading cards?” Steve asked confused.
“They’re vintage, he's very proud.” Y/n disclosed.
Bruce Banner is seen walking around the ship, trying to stay out of the way while people walk in his way.
“Dr. Banner.” Steve called out.
The three walk up to each other and shake hands.
“Oh, yeah. Hi. They told me you'd be coming.” Bruce began. “You must be agent  Munroe.”
“You can call me Y/n it’s nice to finally meet you.” Y/n replied.
“Thanks.” Bruce said in a casual tone.
“Word is you can find the cube.” Steve Inclined.
“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned.
“Only word I care about.” Steve answered.
Bruce takes in the sentiment. “It must be strange for you, all of this.”
Steve looks off to where a group of men in training are running, remembering his days in the army. “Well, this is actually kind of familiar.”
“Gentlemen, you might want to step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breath.” Natasha disclosed.
The Helicarrier starts to shake as it prepares to take "sail". Others abord strap down planes and Quinjets in preparation.
“Is this a submarine?” Steve asked Y/n.
“Really? They wanted me in a submerged, pressurized metal container?” Bruce Said with sarcasm.
“No no it not a submerged.” Y/n answered.
The two both move closer to the edge of the Helicarrier. Four huge lift fans mounted on the sides starts to lift into the air as the ship takes flight. Steve watches in awe while Bruce just smiles.
“Oh, no. This is much worse.”  Bruce said with mock astonishment.
The doors part and we enter the bridge of the ship. A flurry of activity, dozens of agents sit in front of their viewscreens. Agent Hill shouts instructions to leave. The camera turns to Nick Fury who is at the command chair.
“We're at lock, sir.”  Agent Hill disclosed.
“Good. Let's vanish.” Nick answered.
The Helicarrier rises high into the heavens. Suddenly the entire ship is covered in reflecting mirrors, which then camouflages in the sky. Steve, Y/n and Banner walk through the glorious, gleaming bridge
“Gentlemen.” Nick started.
Steve gives Fury 10 bucks, referring to his earlier statement about never being surprised again. “And agent Munroe what a Surprise I thought you were in Sydney.”
“Well I got tired of helping Umm Marlin look for Nemo.” Y/n said with fire.
Fury walks over Banner and extends his hand. Banner, reluctantly shakes it.] Doctor, thank you for coming.
“Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh... how long am I staying?” Bruce asked.
“Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear.” Nick replied.
“Where are you with that?” Bruce asked.
Nick Fury turns to Agent Coulson to explain, while Natasha eyes an image of Clint Barton on a computer screen.
“We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cellphones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us.” Agent Coulson explained.
“That's still not gonna find them in time.”  Natasha mumbled.
“Couldn’t we use spectrometers to speed up the process?” Y/n said pondering out loud.
“Yes that could work. How many spectrometers do you have access to?” Bruce voiced.
“How many are there?” Nick asked Bruce.
“Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?” Bruce said with determination
“Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory, please.” Nick order.
Natasha nods and walks off, leading Banner down the hall. “You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys.”
Y/n goes to leave as well but gets stop by the sound of Nick Fury.
“Agent Munroe my office.” Nick announced.
“No offense but I don’t think you want that right now.” Y/n said fire.
“My office now.” Nick hissed ordered
Y/n and Nick walks to his office in silence. Y/n is barely holding back her anger and this Conversation with Director Fury is not going to help but she needs to get this off her chest or she’ll explode.  Director Fury opens the door to his office and Motion for Y/n to walk in. She walks past him into the room and sit down in the chair in front of his desk. Director Fury closes the door and looks at Y/n.
“What are you doing here?” Nick asked.
“I’m here to help.” Y/n declared.
“You were supposed to be in Sydney.” Nick pointed out
“How do you know I was supposed to be in Sydney I haven’t called to do a check in.” Y/n teased.
I wonder if he’s going to tell me that he has a Tracking Device on me.
“Agent Coulson told me of your whereabouts.” Nick answered.
“Hmm I bet he did.” Y/n replied.
”Your assistance is no longer required we can we can handle it from here head home.” Nick ordered.
“Are you kidding me.” Y/n shouted. As she shot up from her seat. “I’m the only one here that knows anything remotely about Loki and you’re gonna bench me.”
”And how would you know that.” Nick questioned.
“re.....search.” Y/n lied.
Nick gives Y/n ‘the I’m not believing you’ look.
“Ok fine I was there ok I fought The Destroyer.” Y/n  confessed.
“I already knew I was just waiting on you to tell me.” Nick replied.
“Of course you knew why wouldn’t you know.” Y/n said dryly.
“I’m not saying you’re not best the person for the job I’m saying  it’s not safe with your condition.” Nick remarked.
“My cond- what is my condition?”
“It is not....it’s not safe for the people on this Helicarrier if you don’t have control your powers.”
“You want to talk about safety of the people, was you trying to keep me safe by not telling me my mother is alive or keeping me away from Gambit.” Y/n Stated.
The anger she felt roll off of her like a wave which made the room begin to shake.
“Y/n I didn’t tell you because-“
“You are afraid another November 18 is gonna happen.....ye have little faith. I want Gambit here now and if you can’t get him here I want a number. I’m not talking those stupid pills anymore.” Y/n declared as she throws the pill bottle in trash. “And I’m going to stay here and help and you’re going to allow it.”  Y/n finished as she walks out of the room not waiting for his response.
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
Back in the underground lab, Loki is looking Looking through all the Shield Agent portfolios until he comes across one in particular. Agent Munroe’s portfolio. As Loki opens portfolios to read it he finds every page in there to be blank.
“Agent Barton a word.” Loki called.
Clint walks over to Loki like a puppet with strings.
“What do you know of Agent Munroe?” Loki asked.
“She is a powerful mutant that can control the weather and read minds.” Clint answered.
“Read minds hmm that will be all.”  Loki said smirking.
Erik and several scientists work around the CMS device. Clint walks in, holding a tablet.
“Put it over there!” Erik told Clint. “Where did you find all these people?”
“Shield has not shortage of enemies, Doctor.” Clint Stated as he holds up a screen showing information on Iridium. “Is this the stuff you need?”
“Yeah, iridium. It's found in meteorites, it forms anti-protons. It's very hard to get hold of.” Erik explained.
“Especially if Shield knows you need it.” Clint Mumbled
“Well, I didn't know!” Erik said gruffly. Then he Sees Loki walking in. “Hey! The Tesseract is showing me so much. It's more than just knowledge, it's... truth.”
“I know. What did it show you, Agent Barton?” Loki wondered.
“My next target.” Clint voiced
“Tell me what you need.” Loki replied.
“I'll need a distraction.” Clint said grabbing his bow. “And an eyeball.”
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
That night in the Helicarrier bridge. As they are waiting to locate Loki using satellite facial recognition, Coulson is standing with Steve.
“I mean, if it's not too much trouble.”Coulson suggested
“No, no. It's fine.” Steve reassured Coulson.
“It's a vintage set. It took me a couple of years to collect them all. Near mint, slight foxing around the edges, but...”
“We got a hit. Sixty-seven percent match. Weight, cross match, seventy-nine percent.” Agent Jasper Sitwell announced.
“Location?” Coulson asked.
“Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding.” Agent Jasper Sitwell answered.
“Captain, you're up.” Nick disclosed.
Steve nods and walks off the bridge. Walking down the hallway he passes Y/n.
“We found Loki he’s In Germany.” Steve informed Y/n as he’s walking down the hallway.
“Radio silence  and now he’s making appearance that’s not strange at all.....You got this Cap now go show him who’s he’s Messing with.”  Y/n sincerely with a smile.
“Yes ma’am.”  Steve said with a fond look and a head nod.
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
Outside the Stuttgart Museum, it’s night. Loki is standing in front of the museum, dressed in 21st Century attire with his scepter disguised as a cane. He walks up to the entrance of the gala.
A lavished gala with an orchestra playing is interrupted as the head doctor walks up to the mic.
Inside Helicarrier where Steve's locker is. Steve walks into the locker room. As he approaches to the steel cabinet, the doors already reveal the updated Captain America uniform, along with the famous shield. He stands in silence.
Outside the museum. German guards stand in their positions. One of them is standing on tip of the roof, scoping. He then hears a sound. He looks down. One of his guards is shot with an arrow. He raises his gun. He is shot dead by an arrow. Falls down. Barton and his crew arrive at the doors of the locked science building. Barton looks at the retinal scanner.
He pulls out a Shield eye scanner instrument. Inside the gala, Loki looks from above the museum and descends down to where the head doctor is. As he makes it down and near the stage, he flips his cane the other end. The guard there notices him, pulls out his gun, but Loki clubs his head in. Chaos erupts. Guests begin to leave the museum. Loki grabs the doctor and flips him over onto a marble table of the mythological creatures bilchsteim. Loki pulls out an optical torture device. He plunges down the doctor's eye. The doctor twists in pain.
Outside the museum.
Suddenly from Barton's instrument, a holographic eye of the head doctor appears and the image of the doctor appears on screen. The doors to the facility open. Barton walks in and finds in a cabinet, a glass thermos with a cylinder of iridium. As the crowd runs away, Loki slowly walks out and materializes in his gold armor and helmet. The police arrive and with no hesitation, he blasts the cars, flipping them over and over.
“Kneel before me.” Loki voiced but  crowd ignores him. Three more Loki's appear, surrounding and blocking the crowd from escaping. “I said KNEEL!” Loki yelled. While the crowd quietly kneels, Loki embraces out his arms with a wide smile
“Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.” Loki declared.
As the words resonate to the kneeling crowd, an elder German man refuses to kneel and stands, heroic. “Not to men like you.”
“There are no men like me.” Loki specified.
“There are always men like you.” Elder German Man remarked.
“Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example.” As Loki is about to execute the man with his scepter as the light glows blue. Right as the energy beam shoots out, Captain America arrives, diving in just in time to block the blast with his shield, and knocking down Loki.
“You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.” Captain America explained
Loki Standing up. “The soldier. A man out of time.”
“I'm not the one who's out of time.” Captain America replied.
From above Captain America, the Quinjet arrives. A machine gun is pointed towards Loki, while Natasha speaks from inside the aircraft.
“Loki, drop the weapon and stand down.”
Like greased lightning, Loki sends a blast of blue at the Quinjet. Natasha maneuvers it just in time, giving Cap the time to throw his shield at Loki. They both began to duke it out. Loki flings Cap to the ground, and then Cap throws his shield, but Loki swats it away. As Cap is knocked down by Loki, the scepter is pointed to Cap's helmet.
“Kneel.” Loki ordered.
“Not today!” Cap flips and knocks him out with his leg. Loki grabs him and flips him over]
“This guy's all over the place.” Natasha mumbled.
Suddenly AC/DC's "Shoot to Thrill" overdrives to the Quinjets speakers.
“Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?” Tony Stark wondered. Both Cap and Loki look up at the sky. Tony flies over in his Iron Man suit and blasts Loki right back to the ground. Iron Man touches down. He stands up and pulls out every piece of weaponry the suit has. “Make your move, Reindeer Games.”
Loki puts up his hands and surrenders. His armour materializes away
“Good move.” Tony said in a level tone.
“Mr. Stark.”
“Captain.”
Part 4
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anyways-wonderwall · 4 years ago
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The Eurovision Special!!
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Starting in 2017, I've listened to all the songs in Eurovision every year and anxiously awaited the winner. It started from my desire to listen to more and more foreign music, although I found that maybe this wasn't the best avenue for that as most of the songs are just pop music in English. Even though I only really like 2 songs every year I still keep coming back for more, and was actually really sad when there was no contest last year, which led me to go all in for this one.
I am a sucker for grading things via a spreadsheet, and for this I graded each song on a scale from 1-10 on the singer, song, catchiness, and performance. There was also a bonus category which is where I gave points if I actually liked the song or if it wasn't in English. This means that while generally the songs with a higher score I like more, that's not always the case (oh and the notes were my way of remembering what each song sounded like since there were so many). Well, without further ado, here are my top 5 songs of Eurovision 2021.
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5) Belgium- The Wrong Place by Hooverphonic
Score: 25/40
Notes: “I actually really like this one, and the singer hit low notes really well”
Final ranking: 19th
Hooverphonic are among the oldest artists in the competition and you can hear that they know what they're doing. A lot of Eurovision songs are just in your face trying to make something memorable. This song is very low key and clear that they set out to make something that was good above anything else. The vocals are very very smooth and give the song a haunting feeling, and I'm a sucker for a good guitar part.
Most of the songs have both a performance video and a music video, so I just went with whatever was linked on the Eurovision website to give everyone a fair shot. For this song it was the music video, which I also really liked. Like the song it didn't try to be in your face, it told a story, and had some nice shock value to it that wasn't heavy handed.
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4) The Netherlands- Birth of a New Age by Jeangu Macrooy
Score: 32/40
Notes: “people hurt and children dying people dying”
Final Ranking: 23rd
Okay the fact that this song didn't place that high is a federal crime because it is so freaking good. What I wrote in the notes is a reference to that one Black Eyed Peas song that I can never remember the lyrics to but this song has the same vibe as that. It's uplifting with a chorus that makes you feel like you belong, something that I didn't know I missed hearing in music.
What I think is especially interesting about this song is the clear African influence you can hear it in. The artist is from South America though, so it is fascinating to see all these cultures mix and then be presented in a European song competition. I think a LOT of focus was put this year on immigrants, with many of the contests having grown up in another country or being first generation. I really hope that trend continues because it led to a huge variety of songs this year and I liked them more than ever before.
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3) Portugal- Love is on My Side by The Black Mamba
Score: 33/40
Notes: “Perfect score until he picked up the guitar”
Final Ranking: 12th
Okay this song is so so so good. The singer has a really unique voice and his live performance sounded just as good as a recording. It's wonderfully low key with some nice acoustic guitars and even a French horn solo. A French Horn! This song sounds timeless and I absolutely love it for that.
Now here is the only bad thing I have to say about it. In the performance video right at the end the singer picks up the electric guitar next to him to play the solo at the end. Fine right? Well he didn't have a strap on the guitar. My first thought was “is this mad lad actually about to play a solo like that?” but I was wrong because he totally just pretended to play the solo. It was so obvious that he wasn't actually playing it that it hurt. Just why would you do that. Why.
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2) Iceland- 10 Years by Daði Freyr
Score: 38/40
Notes: “Dude it keeps getting better”
Final Ranking: 4th
Okay there is not a single bad thing I can possibly say about this song. It's infectious, it has a killer synth part, a keytar solo, it makes you want to groove, there's a choir, it's Scandinavian, and they even made their own dance for it. Everyone performing this song seems like they are just genuinely having a good time and watching both the performance and the music video makes anyone smile. I keep finding myself listening to this song over and over again and if you listen to anything on this list I really hope it is this one.
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1)Italy- Zitti E Buoni by Måneskin
Score: 36/40
Notes: “Mi favorito”
Final Ranking: First!!
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Eurovision history my favorite band won the whole thing. I don't think you understand how crazy this is. Usually the song that wins is unlistenable or at least very annoying. For the first time in a while actual talent won and I am beyond shocked. Maybe they needed a year off to think about what good music is. Whatever it took I am so glad that this song is getting the recognition it deserves.
So this one really doesn't fit the description of an average Eurovision song. It's hard rock with the whole song in Italian. The music video is gritty and all of the people in the band are the kids that would be deemed a “bad influence". I have no idea how this even made the cut for Eurovision truthfully. But I'm so glad it did.
The musicianship? Amazing. The vocals? Incredible. The lyrics? Well I know just enough Italian to know that they are about society seeing them as crazy and different. I love this song so much I think I'm going to listen to this entire group's discography, so you may see them in future reviews.
While Eurovision took a year off and devastated the world, I think this year definitely makes up for it. There was a much greater variety of genres this year and I don't think a rock song like this has ever won. I think now they're finally living up to their motto of “celebrating diversity".
(In case you're wondering, my least favorite songs were from Cyprus, Ukraine, and Ireland. All of them are completely unlistenable imo)
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usagi-akachan-moved · 7 years ago
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What he says: I'm fine
What he means: There are people being turned down from lifesaving medical treatments because they don't have healthcare. There are people without money to pay rent or buy food because their parents couldn't afford exhorberant college costs and now they can't get a high paying job. There are people that can't get jobs at all, or get welfare, or a proper education, or any respect whatsoever from society because of their race, gender, sexuality, age, looks (yes, looks), or, most importantly class. There are people working three jobs, essentially neglecting their children, working themselves to the bone, not getting anywhere for all their hard work and STILL not affording basic necessities because the minimum wage is NOT a living wage. Not even close. These people are the vast majority in this country. The bottom 20% has 3% of the total wealth, whereas the top 5% has OVER. 30. PERCENT. Over 30% of the TOTAL wealth in the US belongs to 5% OF THE POPULATION. But does anyone try to change it? No. Not even a little bit. Anyone that wants to has no power to, and anyone that has power is profitting off exploitation of the poor and won't part with the smallest amount of their billions upon billions of dollars for the sake of basic human decency. Anyone who thinks abolishing net neutrality is a good thing is either SORELY misinformed, or is one of those 5%ers. It won't just stop people from getting their cat videos and pinterest recipes, it will stop people from getting information. This bill will make it legal to heavily throttle or even outright block any websites (including news sites) that the ISP disagrees with. You read that right. It's a fucking DYSTOPIA over here. Not to mention that schools, hospitals, libraries, government centers, any public service that requires internet (hint: all of them) are going to have to shell out money monthly too, which means taxes will skyrocket. Now, I'm normally all for taxes. High taxes in a socialist setting makes for more sharing, and more equality. But right now Americans are living in a society where an extremely high amount of taxes are being funneled into the military (billions of dollars everyday go towards buying nukes), and, pretty soon, lining the pockets of already extremely wealthy company executives and politicians. No budget for education. They're cutting that. No public works either. Cutting that too. No healthcare, welfare, NOTHING. Rich people just keep getting richer and richer and greedier and greedier and the class gap is widening more and more and more and nothing is changing for the better and I'm not convinced it will anytime soon. Poor people- no, normal people, your average middle class citizens, are constantly being stiffed and blocked and any power they have is being yanked out from under them. They aren't being treated like humans. If that doesn't tell you how fucking SHITTY America is, I don't know what will. It's a sinking ship and only white male billionaires can afford life boats.
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genx3791 · 4 years ago
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Here are 51 reasons why Alberta & Saskatchewan would enjoy better lives as citizens of a U.S. state. 
1. No more French language
Say goodbye to French on signs, products, government documents. No more French taught in schools. No more being greeted in French when you speak to customer service.
2. Free to travel to sunny states for as long as you want
Want to live in Florida, Arizona, or Maui for a while without raising eyebrows with U.S. border patrol or risk being double-taxed by IRS & CRA?
3. 2nd Amendment rights
The right to bear arms is an inalienable right ingrained in the U.S. Constitution, which can't be taken away. In Constitutional Carry states, you can even carry a concealed firearm without permits or red tape. In Canada, you will just have to watch your family get mowed down by bad guys.
4. Donald Trump
You get the ultimate leader of the people, a non-stop machine who works for you 20hrs a day instead of Trudeau who uses you to fund his vacation.  You get an alpha male leader you can be proud of & truely loves his country instead of a sissy.
5. Protection from US military
You get the full protection of the Pentagon and its 1.3 million active duty personnel.
6. Safety of US dollar
You'll be earning US dollars which are the world's stable, standard currency and a safe haven of investment.
7. 1st Amendment
The right to free speech is ingrained in the U.S. Constitution. You are free to speak your mind without being fined or jailed for offending people.
8. Benefit from economies of scale
320 million people create a lot more buying power than 35 million. That's why prices of consumer goods and services tend to be better in the U.S. That's also why the U.S. has better infrastructure.
9. Better postal service
USPS is thriving in the digital age while Canada Post is cutting services to stay afloat. Order something cross country and USPS has it to you in 3 days or less at a fraction of the cost of Canada Post.
10. More banking options
You get a multitude of banking options rather than being stuck with Canada's banking oligopoly.
11. More phone & cable plan options
You get more choice of carriers and greater coverage in the States. Plans are usually cheaper as well.
12. More electronics, lower prices
There is so much more competition in the home electronics/appliances industries that it keeps prices lower in the U.S. than in Canada.
13. Cheaper car insurance
Car insurance tends to be about 40-50% lower in the U.S. than in Canada. Again, it's probably due to a larger economy of scale.
14. More famous restaurant franchises
You favorite U.S. restaurant chains will be more eager to operate north of the 49th when they're not faced with Canada's over-regulation of food, language and labor.
15. More affordable air transportation
How come you can fly from Phoenix to Las Vegas for $50 but flying from Calgary to Vancouver (same distance) is $200? 
16. Better quality groceries, more choice
While Canada only has two big grocery companies that control 90% of the market, the U.S. has a multitude of options. With greater competition comes better quality and more options.  Also, many great food companies in the U.S. won't export to Canada because of the cost of complying with Canada's food and labelling regulations.
17. Don’t pay duties for online shopping
Let's face it, all the good stuff online is shipped from the States. Then it gets dinged for up to 35% by Canada Customs when it comes in. This won't happen when Alberta is a U.S. state.
18. Won’t get made uncompetitive by Carbon Tax
Canada's obsession with climate change has mandated a carbon tax that is about to render its industrial output unable to compete with countries that haven't fallen for this hoax.
19. Won’t get made uncompetitive by new US import taxes
Trump is going to play hardball on trade. When he has leverage, he will use it to the advantage of the USA. He will start making Canada pay for the protection it gets from Uncle Sam, and if Canada won't pay, he'll make it up on increased tariffs.
20. Tougher justice system
The prime minister of Canada doesn't even think terrorists should lose their citizenship. Canada is a very liberal country that is soft on criminals in hopes that they can be rehabilitated. Meanwhile, very bad people are walking our streets.
21. Fewer refugees
Trump is proposing a total, temporary pause on refugees coming into the US until they figure out a way to vet them properly. Canada is simply an open borders country that will invite in as many refugees as it can to prove a point about how liberal it is.
22. Melting Pot, not Salad Bowl
The United States with its melting pot culture encourages immigrants to assimilate into English-speaking American culture. Canada encourages immigrants to maintain the cultural identities and customs of the home countries. This creates a lot of tension and a lack of shared identity in Canadian society.
23. Military industrial complex creates jobs
There is no arguing with the fact that the U.S. military industrial complex, with its world-leading innovation and massive productive capacity generates a tremendous amount of jobs and economic output. Canada's is nearly non-existent by comparison.
24. More diverse economy than Canada’s oil & health
Canada has put all its eggs in the oil and health care industries. This lack of diversity is very risky, as witnessed after the fall of oil prices. All the brightest minds in Canada who aren't working in oil or health move to the States to work in other industries.
25. Get to vote for President, not just watch
No longer will Albertans have to just sit on the sidelines and watch Americans elect the leader of the Free World.
26. Get a national culture & identity (vs “post-national”)
Americans have a strong sense of shared identity, cultural practices and values. Canada's leaders have declared it a "post-national" country, having no single shared identity. This encourages Canadians to stay in their ethnic cliques rather than work together like Americans do.
27. America first vs. globalism
Alberta will become part of America; a country now lead by those who put American priorities ahead of matters abroad. Canada is becoming the last bastion of globalism and makes domestic matters take a back seat to "virtuous" acts of saving people in faraway lands.
28. U.S. conservative values align with Alberta's
Canada's political spectrum is sharply to the left of the United States. The Conservative Party of Canada would be to the left of the Democrats if it was part of the U.S. Alberta keeps voting conservative which means it belongs in a more right-oriented political system like the U.S.
29. No more monarchy
Americans had the balls to evict the Crown 240 years ago, while Canada is still appeasing the Royals.
30. Access to better quality health care
You probably know at least five people who have had to go the the U.S. for serious health procedures. Most affluent Canadians go to the States for procedures. Why would any good doctors want to work in Canada's socialist health care system, when they can live in the States, make more money and work with the best technology?
31. Shorter wait times for operations
No more waiting days in a hospital corridor to get your rupturing appendix removed!
32. Might get an NFL franchise
Sure, you love your CFL teams, but wouldn't it be more exciting if your local franchise was NFL?
33. Help MAGA
You get to apply your energy to making America great again, instead of being trapped in a socialist country where your blood, sweat, and tears (and tax dollars) go to a leftist government that makes terrible decisions which work against you.
34. Be proud of your country again
There has never been a better time to be American. Those who support MAGA are walking with pride as their country is rebuilt, while Albertans walk with hunched shoulders, not proud of the country that mocks and exploits it.
35. Don’t have to feel second class around Americans anymore
You will be a first class, American citizen rather than being teased about being from wimpy Canada, eh?
36. Earning $USD, you can go to BC and shop/vacation in CAD pesos
When Alberta becomes part of the U.S. and Albertans are earning $USD, they will be able to go to BC for cheap cross-border shopping and holidays because the $CAD will be worth less than $0.50 $USD.
37. Elected Senate
You'll get to elect your senators rather than having them appointed by the elites.
38. State that treats you like grown up, not a nanny
Albertans are freedom-loving people. Why should they be over-regulated and talked down to by a government that thinks it knows what's best for its people and treats them like babies? The American society treats you like a grown up by default.
39. No more CBC
No more of your tax dollars going to support the government-backed Canadian Brainwashing Corporation.
40. No more forced CanCon
You will no longer be forced to ingest watered down versions of Netflix, Pandora, iTunes or having to listen to Nickelback, Bieber, or Alanis 50% of the time by law. No more government-funded shows like Little Mosque on the Prairie.
41. No more draining equalization payments
Less of your hard-earned dollars will go to buying beer and cigarettes for unemployed Quebecers.
42. No more government in absentia
The ruling government in Ottawa currently only has 4 MPs from Alberta. Alberta voted conservative and now has almost zero representation in government. This is complete political alienation.
43. Lower corporate tax better for small business
Trump is proposing dropping corporate tax to 10-15%. This will give American small business a major boost and Canada's small businesses will be unable to compete.
44. No longer lagging 8 years behind the US
Isn't it frustrating to have to repeat the same historical mistakes as the U.S., 8 years later? Canada elected its Obama (Trudeau) just on the eve of America rejecting him.
45. Lower gas tax
Gas taxes are lower in the U.S.
46. Lower liquor tax
Liquor is taxed at a lower rate in the U.S., too. Why pay more tax if you don't have to?
47. Won’t be trapped in Canada by a plunging Loonie
When America steps up their economic & trade games to a whole new level, the Loonie is going to be driven down by so much money flowing from Canada to the U.S. This will hurt Canadians' ability to buy vacations, real estate and consumer goods from the US. 
48. Your children will have more job opportunities
America's economic diversity, military industrial complex, and world-leading innovation provide orders of magnitude more opportunity than Canada's narrow oil & health focus. By the time your children are old enough to join the workforce, Trump will have made America even stronger with even more opportunities, which will dwarf Canada. With Alberta part of the U.S., your children won't have to leave to get jobs.
49. Your children will have more education options
As U.S. citizens, your children will benefit from having the choice of hundreds of great American colleges and universities where they can make great connections with the leaders of tomorrow, rather than being marginalized nobodies who graduated from some unknown Canadian school.
50. Cheaper to heat your home with no CO2 tax
No more having to choose between heating vs. eating in the frigid winter months.
51. Never be ruled by another Trudeau!
Nothing needs to be said about this one.
Feel free to copy n paste, I did.
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