#They're all traumatized your honor

[tumblingxelian]

@princess-of-the-corner

Thinking of Aware Lila being part of the group and how that probably pisses Marinette off and had this discussion in mind.

Marinette was practically pulling out her pig tails as Kagami watched on with a fond sort of bemusement at the girls expressive antics.

"I just don't get why she has to keep lying, its so frustrating listening to her just spew nonsense after nonsense like its nothing."

Kagami tilted her head, just a little, "It is quite obviously vexing you, and for that I am sorry."

Marinette waved her off, "You're not the one whose pants should be on fire. Though... I mean why do you hang out with her? Chloe & Adrien I kind of get, your parents are all vaguely aligned and you're in the same circles. Lila's not actually rich or famous-" Marinette gasped, "Has she tricked your parents!?"

Kagami actually let out a huff of amusement, despite its quiet nature, it ran through her whole body.

"That would be amusing to see, my mother hanging on Lila's every word, but no. That woman has no time for even sly boasting and the others parents are little different."

She held up her hand when Marinette looked ready to speak and added, "Lila's mother is genuinely a diplomat, and while not in our parents sphere of wealth she is connected enough that it behooves all of us to at least be polite."

Marinette sighed and flopped back down on the bed at Kagami's side.

"I suppose, though you'd think being able to attend events like you do and having a respected diplomat for a mother would be enough. Like its not even as if she's stupid or has no talents so she has to make things up to brag about even. What's the point? I just... I don't get why someone would lie when they don't have to."

Kagami stilled, and Marinette watched as her friends manner shifted, no longer angling towards her but instead stiff as she stared into space. Experience said to let Kagami think and after a minute of growing anxiety in the silence, Kagami spoke, her voice like tempered glass, strong but made of fragile things.

"I don't think you can understand, Marinette... Or perhaps it is not something I have the words to explain. Maybe if you experienced it... But I would never wish that on you, never."

She finally turned to Marinette, gaze intense, even as her eyes focused somewhere other than Marinette's own.

"It is love, it always comes back to love, or more, the absence of it and the quest to find it, to claim it. To let it fill that gaping chasm inside yourself that exists only because of something integrals absence."

Marinette took one of Kagami's hands and squeezed and saw the fencers breathing steady as she pressed on.

"You can't imagine what its like to never know it but always feel like its just out of reach. The depths someone might sink, the lengths they would go to finally have it."

"You might convince yourself if you just twist yourself a little more for them, tear another piece of yourself away, break yourself or someone else, that it will finally be granted to you. That you can let it sink deep into your bones and sinew and finally, oh finally, you can be happy without hurting."

Marinette shuffled closer, pressing herself at Kagami's side.

"If you can't do that, can't trick yourself into going down that path on a fruitless quest you do the next best thing. You lie. You lie to yourself, or to others. Because even false happiness is better than real despair. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself, even as you starve and wither on the inside..."

Kagami's entire body shuddered, it was somehow both the most powerful sensation Marinette had ever felt and the most subtle she'd ever seen. A reminder that even in her moments of deepest hurt Kagami could not show even a hint of weakness.

Her eyes were stinging now, and Marinette let out a sob.

Kagami's entirely frame pivoted to her, something like terror in her eyes. "Marinette, I- I don't now what I did, b-" She let out a surprised breath as Marinette practically flung herself into the taller girls embrace, pressing Kagami down on the mattress of her bed.

"You didn't make me cry... I'm crying... Because you can't, and you deserve to!" The other girl's powerful arms embraced her so tightly it was like she wanted them to stay locked together forever.

She buried her face in Kagami's neck and whispered, "You are loved, I love you Kagami."

Kagami couldn't speak, so she just held tighter, letting Marinette etch herself ever deeper inside her soul and sinew. She'd do anything for this moment to last.

[sparrowsortadrawzzz]

shaking my lil fanfic bois(gn and sometimes boi and gurl) azira and anthony in my head- I need to make a Playlist for them or something-

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[officialfoxsquadron]

sooo i read this snippet to my partner today and i got a "i love two queens queening out" so enjoy

“Hey-What did I say about smoking on the ship?” Luke said, exasperated, placing his hands on his hips. “You weren’t here,” Wedge shrugged. “Oh, c’mon, don’t be such a bore.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Wedge, we could literally blow up.” “But we haven’t. Yet,” Wedge said. Luke huffed. These people, I swear. “And I breathe your recycled air.” Wedge shook his head. “It’s not my fault you don’t smoke.” “And it’s not my fault I want my lungs intact,” Luke strode over to where Lottie was sitting and handed her the condenser. “Lottie, for you.”

[starboundsingularities]

the jurist system seems really cool i hope they keep using it :-)

27 notes

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "court" me any time

🧊 just--ice Follow

try.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "try" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. are you a lawyer. because you can "try" to "court" me any time

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. am i on trial.

🌈 lawsbian Follow

i'm determined to make this work btw

🌈 lawsbian Follow

hey girl. law

🔪 violencekilling Follow

hey girl. are you a murderer. because ow ough ouch agh stop stabbing me

732,390 notes

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

guys watch out hes gonna shelly de kill you

293,485 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

they called me to the witness stand and the defense attorney just shouted "BOOOOOO WE HATE YOUR PUSSY"

43,618 notes

🧇 edible-evidence Follow

look if i was on trial and the guy prosecuting me started advertising his music i'd just plead guilty. avoid the embarrassment of getting put in prison by a guy who basically used the trial to say "this blew up btw here's my soundcloud"

97,384 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

💞 lawveyourself Follow

didnt miles edgeworth defend someone in a case once

⛲ fountainoftruth Follow

do you know the difference between a prosecutor and a defense attorney

270,934 notes

💟 longingforyou Follow

being rivals isn't enough i need to kiss you

💟 longingforyou Follow

who the fuck is evil magistrate

💟 longingforyou Follow

STOP TAGGING THIS WITH LAWYERS?????

584,769 notes

🐈 nyattorney Follow

they hired a guy to stand in court and shout "GET A ROOM YOU TWO" whenever the lawyers start getting a little too homoerotic

976 notes

💥 courtroomchaos Follow

your honor i know all the evidence points to my client being guilty. but come on you have to admit he kinda ate right

💼 courtofwaw Follow

mia fey when they had phoenix wright on trial

20,475 notes

🔍 thuthseeker Follow

ok hot take but i feel like these lawyers should maybe not be allowed to drag literal children to court with them?? how many people have gotten genuinely actually fucking SHOT in court and they're just ok bringing fucking 8 year olds in?

12,475 notes

💼 courtofwaw Follow

happy almost christmas to all who celebrate

💫 dizzydreamers124 Follow

it's march

🎄 holidazed Follow

happy almost christmas :)

😈 knownjaywalker Follow

WHO is putting this on my dash

👁️ cymorgue Follow

STOP POSTING THIS. IT IS JUNE.

🐼 pandastar91 Follow

ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

1,589,589 notes

💽 platinumcourtrecord Follow

evil gavinners be like. innocent hate. this is a nothing post

19,384 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

STOP asking me about the dl-6 post idc idc look even phoenix wright forged evidence once shut up

📕 lexculpatory Follow

he didn't forge the evidence, though. it was kristoph gavin who ordered the forgery. this was covered in the trial of vera misham. if you're going to try to compare yourself to well known figures, you could at least check the veracity of your claims.

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

yeah well. he might have. on a different case or something.

73 notes

🃏 thecourtjester Follow

i tried to take the bar exam but they didnt let me because i wasnt cunty and traumatized enough

57,384 notes

😇 innosense Follow

683,876 notes

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

when will global studios realize that i do not WANT another shitty steel samurai spinoff i just want the original show back

7,094 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

she present on my evidence til i reach a verdict

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

WRONG BLOLG. DON'T REBLOG THIS. DELETE POST DELETE POST DELETE POST I SWEAR WE'RE PROFESSIONALS HERE

17,283 notes

👑 courtroyals Follow

"we need more great prosecutors" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma

🧊 just--ice Follow

didn't he kill someone?

👑 courtroyals Follow

irrelevant. you guys couldn't handle him.

587 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

law: i'm so law

lawyer, who needs to one up everyone no matter what: i'm more law than you

🏛️ lawyest Follow

hi

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

you've got to be fucking kidding me

183,834 notes

🧊 just--ice Follow

why is it always murders with lawblr. why don't we ever talk about divorce or something

[tj-dragonblade]

[Bingo Ficlet] Til Death Do Us Part

Fandom: The Sandman Pairing: Dreamling Rated: T Word Count: 1463 Tags: vampire AU, vampire Dream, Hob is still immortal, vampiric angst, talk of blood death and sex, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort

Notes: This covers:

@dreamlingbingo Square B1 Hurt/Comfort plus adoptable prompt Forehead Kisses

@monsterfucktoberbingo square Vampire

@mr-sadman's All Hallow's Sadman mini-event, 10/31 prompt Monster

Summary: Dream laments his vampiric nature. Hob offers reassurance, patiently, for the thousandth time

On AO3

~ "I am a monster," Dream is murmuring, over and over, the first thing Hob hears as consciousness returns—that beautiful velvety sonorous voice in the same lament it has been voicing for decades. He can feel Dream's arms around him, cradling him close against Dream's narrow chest and beneath his pointy chin, rocking him gently back and forth. It's comforting, familiar, and Hob sighs happily, as soon as he has the faculties and bodily control for it.

"Hob!" Dream loosens his hold enough to (presumably) look down into his face at the sound; Hob's eyes aren't quite working yet. But he can manage a smile, and so he does, and then Dream's lips are pressed to his forehead in a fervent kiss, Dream's arms crushing him tightly. "Hob, my Hob, I'm so sorry—"

Silly Dream, Hob thinks, fondly. Nothing to be sorry about.

And he'll tell him so, again, as soon he's got enough life back in him to speak.

He can feel the spark and rush returning, little by little, blood replenishing itself in his empty veins; soon enough he'll be right as rain again.

"I'm sorry," Dream murmurs once more, and his tender kiss in Hob's hair holds not the slightest hint of fang.

~

Seven hundred years ago, Hob unknowingly challenged Death to a game of chance and won. She'd been a great sport about it and honored his winnings, promised she'd never take him until he asked to go.

Fifty-eight years ago, he'd stumbled across a half-feral vampire in the woods and fallen in love. Died a couple of times first, which complicated the process a bit, but obviously it'd all worked out in the end.

Most things did, for Hob Gadling.

~

"'M fine, duck, jus' fine," Hob manages, several moments later. "No need t'worry, see?"

"I cannot help but worry," Dream returns, and his voice is thick with unshed tears. "I drained you. No matter how many times you come back, it is traumatic to surface from a damned blood haze—a failing I should be well able to control by now—to find my lover dead by my own fangs."

"Understandable." Hob nuzzles his face weakly against Dream's throat. They're both still naked, he can tell now; Dream is…sitting cross-legged in their bed, cradling Hob against him. "But it's very nice to come back to life in your arms like this."

"You would find the optimism in even this." Dream kisses his forehead again and sniffles. "But the fact remains, had you not bound yourself to a monster with abhorrent appetites, you would not be subjected to repeatedly dying—"

"Nine times in fifty-eight years is hardly 'repeatedly'."

"Hob—"

"Eight if you don't count the night we met, since we weren't together yet."

"I have drained you. To death. Nine times."

"And yet I'm here, love, cozy in your arms and having this very familiar peculiar conversation. No harm done. Much opposite-of-harm achieved."

"It does not feel like 'no harm' when your body goes lifeless in my arms, Hob."

Hob's been sparring in this particular argument for a very long time now; perhaps it's time to try a different tactic. "Can I tell you a secret, love? One that might change your perspective a little?" He grins, a little sheepishly. "Might also make you think far less of me, but that's a chance I'm willing to take."

Dream scoffs. "I cannot imagine anything you could tell me that would lower my esteem for you."

"Well. Alright then." Hob coughs, draws a great breath. "It is weirdly enjoyable, to die with your teeth in my throat and your cock in my arse. An orgasm on the brink of expiring, the 'little death' become the big one? There's nothing quite like it."

Dream blinks at him.

"Not saying I wanna do it all the time, mind. It is bloody strange and whatever I might theoretically get out of it is not worth the distress it causes you. But just. It happens when several of your deepest instincts converge, and sometimes you still can't hold back. That's okay. I'm a kinky fucker, as it turns out, and I realized the first time—the first time after we got together I mean—that I could enjoy it. But I could also see how hard it is on you, so I wasn't going to make a thing out of it. But maybe, if it helps you to know, I'm—not getting off on it, I wouldn't go that far, but I'm not suffering. At all. You're neither hurting nor harming me."

Dream, as usual, seems not to absorb the point Hob was trying to make. "But Hob. I am killing you, again and again, because I am a monster whose appetites cannot be controlled—"

Hob stops him with two clumsy-but-gentle fingers pressed to his lips, then slides his hand to cup the side of Dream's face. "My dearest, sweetest Dream. We've been over this, love. You cannot kill me, not in any way that matters. I always come back. Haven't I proven it, these past fifty years?"

Dream makes a sound not unlike a sob, presses into Hob's hand on his cheek.

Hob manages to exert enough pressure to tilt Dream's face down to look him in the eye. "This 'monster' business," he says, so gently. "Utter crap." He leans up to kiss Dream's forehead softly. "You found yourself the only human you can drain without killing and you've not taken anyone else for decades."

"Hob—"

"And when I met you, you were starving yourself on animal blood, living half wild in the forest so as not to tempt yourself on human blood. Centuries without, you'd gone. You're not a monster, darling, you're a person with highly specific dietary needs and a vigilant conscience about how your food is sourced."

Hob was hoping for a laugh, but Dream only sighs, one corner of his mouth ticking down. "I drained you when you found me, Hob. My hard-won self-restraint was for naught as soon as a human crossed my path."

"Because the animal-only route was obviously not enough for you. You were clearly starving, love. And again. You found a human you can feed from without harming, even if you do drain me. I'm still here."

"I killed you four times in the first eight years we were together—"

"And only five times in the fifty years following, because you worked so hard to establish control and to feed ethically and better yourself". Hob pulls himself up, still weak but improving with each passing moment; he gently disentangles himself from Dream's embrace to sit facing him. He takes both of Dream's pale long-fingered hands in his own. "I know you hate the need. I know you hate the instincts that that bastard left in you. But Dream. My love. You are so much more than that and just because you're not where you want to be yet? Doesn't mean you're never going to get there." He squeezes Dream's hands, ducks his face to make sure he's got eye contact. "Please, love, give yourself a little grace. You've come so far, I'm so proud of you, and I'm with you all the way. No matter what. We'll get you there."

Dream holds his gaze a long moment, eyes watery, and finally leans forward to rest his forehead against Hob's collarbone, puts his arms around Hob again and clings to the backs of his shoulders. He heaves a great shuddering breath, wet and trembling, and a tear drips onto Hob's naked chest. "I am weary of the struggle," he says, voice thick. "I wish to be. Stronger. Now."

"I know." Hob caresses his cheek, moves him just enough to kiss his forehead again and pulls him close to tuck him back against his own chest. "But I can see how far you've come already. And I promise, we're moving ever forward. We'll get there, never mind any setbacks."

Dream nuzzles under his chin, brushes his lips so gently over the healed wound where his teeth had sunk into Hob's throat earlier this evening. "I am sorry for hurting you," he says softly.

"Again. Neither hurting nor harming me." Hob runs gentle hands up and down Dream's spine. "I do kind of enjoy it." It still feels weird to admit it aloud.

"You are a peculiar human, Hob Gadling." Dream kisses the healed bite mark again, sighs, and the smallest bit of tension falls out of his spine. "You are also far too kind, too forgiving of me." He drops one last kiss to Hob's throat. "But I fear who I would be without you."

Hob grins. "Lucky then you'll never be without me, hmm?"

Dream laughs, a short watery little bark, and burrows comfortably closer against Hob's hairy chest.

= Started: 10/28/24 Drafted: 10/30/24 Posted: 10/31/24

And that's a blackout! 🎉 Master post to come...later.

[hibiscusseaart]

Had a dream today and I'm evolving it as I go here

The main idea that Rin didn't die when she tried to unalive herself by Kakashi's hand, but Obito was already traumatized and got in with Madara's Moon Eye plan. So yada-yada, she's the jinchuriki of Sanbi. BUT the difference was that she decided to come out of the closet (a real tight one cuz of her clan but she almost just DIED what to regret now) that she's actually a guy. So FTM Rin guys. Rin is he/him from now on.

He wouldn't change his personality and crush on Kakashi much. Dude is a medic, have you met medics? My extended family has a lot of medics in ER and other and let me tell you, they're ruthless and give 0 fucks.

Oh and since he's a medic he has top notch access to remove his own boobs and change his hormones fucking manually.

I think he would rethink his crush on Kakashi, like, man, he's a loser, plus it's hard to crush on someone who you thought killed you (even tho you made him) AND Kakashi has doomed love with 'dead' Obito and it's a bummer.

Idk about his name tho, he probably would change it just to, unknowingly, create more confusion for poor Obito, who is SURE that Rin is dead-dead and fucking Konoha didn't even made a grave for her and Kakashi doesn't even VISIT.

Madara and Zetsu obviously don't tell him about his development. They don't need him to have a hope in this world again.

Kakashi is just glad that he didn't kill his teammate and maybe they connect better since "Rin" (listen i NEED a name for him, but i have 0 ideas about meaning or what ever. maybe he'd take something to honor Obito's memory?) doesn't crush on him anymore and maybe he's trans too?? idk about it yet but he might act warmer to "Rin" now.

So Obito is just confused, like WHO is this dude from Nohara clan who is now with Kakashi ALL the time (they're still best friends). He doesn't connect that this brown haired (!) medic (!!) from Nohara clan (!!!) with the same marks (!!!) same age as them (!!!!!) might be Rin. like no, nope, Rin a nice gentle lady, not this smoking dude who yells at Kakashi and curses at him cuz he run away from hospital again.

So yeah Obito is just not impressed. But intrigued. And jealous. He stalks Kakashi AND this guy all the time. May develop a crush on both, cuz "Rin" is still the same at his core.

Kakashi would still go in ANBU cuz Minato asked him (still not sure about it, like yeah lets put deeply traumatized 13 yo in assasin squad good job) and stuff.

So idk how canon would go from there, like i doubt that Minato would let 14 yo jinchuriki near another one at this tense situation, even tho "Rin" could've help.

So yeah Kushiha and Minato die, "Rin" barely holds onto the Sanbi but Obito finds out that the guy is holding them. He doesn't connects the dots. Or he does? His mind just CAN'T hold on to the fact that his Rin MIGHT survived.

But maybe "Rin" was closer to the place where they sealed Kuubi in Naruto (maybe he ran there cuz there's Kuubi rampaging and he HAS to help) so Minato entrusted Naruto to him, not to fucking Sandaime.

So yeah, now "Rin" is Naruto's legal dad at the age of 14 and no one can fucking take him away cuz a) it was Minato's dying wish; and b) just fucking TRY to peer "Rin" away from Naruto, you'll get your hand bitten off and NO arguments work, cuz "Rin", who was trained by Kushina in jinchuriki stuff, can make some sort of turtle shield and he hides in it with his new baby and no one can do anything.

And no one can protect baby jinchuriki better than the other jinchuriki so it's fine. Everyone just accepts it.

(Isobu laughs at Kurama cuz haha im the older sibling now :))

Naruto is bullied less but I think no one can tell him about his parents cuz Sandaime sucks ass. But "Rin" drops HUGE hints cuz he hates Sandaime now too. Like no shit Tsunade left.

Idk what would happen with Obito if he finds out about "Rin's" identity. he'd come back crawling and crying probably. Maybe try to kidnap him and cry more in Kamui.

update: added sketch

[bunny-extract]

Tell us more about cocky könig we really need a refresh in the fandom

He named himself King, your honor. Of course i'm obsessed with him.

— The Growth Spurt (tm) came on early, and ostracized him from his peers. His social pools leaned much older than him, which meant the resulting traumatic themes associated came to him pretty young. Fully adopt the party boy König hc, and firmly believe he entered the forces with his screws already stripped.

— Was bullied into joining a rugby team when he was in school. Hated it, hated it, hated it, and then one day he smacked into a kid that was several grades ahead, knocked him on his ass and was like wow. Haha. Oh.

— As soon as König learned his anxieties could be overshadowed by aptitude, that became a pretty big crutch. If you're not the best then you're being laughed at. solution: Be the fucking best?

— In his eyes, his military career was a failure. The blow to his ego when he was rejected as a sniper really left him sore, and being reduced to a battering ram seemed like a waste of his his assets. When KorTac contacted him he left the services as soon as he could. The switch was not for any noble reasons (Not that he joined with any in mind, either)

— Insufferable ego driven by crippling anxiety means he comes off as really hot and cold. Sometimes when he’s avoiding eye contact it’s shy, disarming, and then other times it’s curt, uninterested

— That makes his attention kind of covetous, because when he is interested in someone, if he respects them, he has this boyish 'look at me, look at what I can do for you' that makes him seem soft and charming, but it can quickly turn into ‘did you see what I did? Did you like it? I can do more.’

— He is as attentive and loyal as a dog, but mean and jealous as one too.

NSFW

— The natural second step to this is an unbearable praise kink. Adoration, worship, acts of service, he falls for any of the above... This is literally the only normal turn on he has, I'm afraid.

— Plenty to go unsaid about his sexuality. Took the kink test curiously once, but half of what really gets him going wasn't listed in the prompts.

If he weren't so fucked up this would be fine, but he is, and so it isn't.

— Scared of sex because of this. He isn't sure what he's capable of, and when you've taken someone's life before and know that's nowhere near your cap it complicates things for you! Just smack a big old 'CONFIDENTIAL' over what actually comes up.

— (Out in the field, the air taste like adrenaline and testosterone and whatever other chemicals that creep up when your head is a bullseye. They all coalesce into a raging, disgusting hard on that he doesn't even try to hide anymore. Tucks himself into his waistband and uses that pent up energy to beat into people like he's fucking them. Nobody talks about it, not because they don't all notice it, but because könig has always deserved the title 'freak'. They can just be grateful they're on the same side of him.)

[marezablr]

i think the thing that's funny about gohan is that if you take canon at face value, you have to accept he doesn't "have trauma." canon is fundamentally more interested in big intense emotions and drama than the smaller moments (although it still has those, and they can be really touching). this is not a deficit! dragon ball is a series where someone you love dies, and you scream so big you get superpowers. it's great.

so taking canon for what it is, gohan has experienced traumatic events, but he doesn't have any trauma from them. it has had no effect on him.

but if you want to understand him as having trauma, then the obvious reading is that gohan takes on the "just a guy" genre of having a trauma. the kind where you cannot get him to admit that he even experienced trauma, let alone that it did anything to him.

being dumped in the woods for six months should have affected him developmentally? sure, it was scary and weird at first, but then it was kind of fun, really!

watching people die at age five should have affected him? no, it's okay, most of them came back. it's sad about the ones who didn't, but it's important to mourn your losses and go forward in honor of their memories!

the world being put on his shoulders when he was eleven might have messed him up? that was hard, but it did have to be him. and he messed up, but his dad told him not to feel bad. his dad wouldn't want him to dwell!

everyone who put him in dangerous situations loved him, and they're his heroes, and gohan really was uniquely powerful, and the world was really at stake, so he did uniquely have to be involved. no one did anything wrong. besides, it was kind of hard, but nothing is wrong with him. he's just a guy.

he's aggressive about protecting his normal life and had a hard time even knowing what "normal" looked like, but he's just a guy. he didn't want pan to see people being killed, but there were no consequences when that happened for him. he's just a guy. his rage is something he avoids like it scares him, but his emotional regulation is great, really!

none of it had a negative effect on him. it was hard sometimes, but he learned a lot of things, and he's fine now. he's just a guy.

you will never get any of the big, obvious signs of trauma out of gohan (again: canon is pretty content that he's happy and well-adjusted!), but you can find trauma responses if you want by leaning into that. that's the kind of trauma response where people don't admit it to themselves, where they constantly minimize and excuse what happened (they love me, they never wanted to hurt me, therefore i can't have been hurt). the kind of trauma response that only comes out in weird leakages, in little comments and odd irrational behaviors—and then, occasionally, all at once in blinding moments of uncharacteristic emotional outbursts.

but that's not a big deal. it's just how his power boosts work, he guesses? it's a saiyan thing, probably!

don't worry about it. it's all okay. none of it was that bad.

he's just a guy!

[skoff-the-artist]

TFHAU Hairstyles pt.1

(w explanations +watch closely for DETAILSSS)

Ratchet is my all time fav, so I drew a lot of hairstyle changes for him

S1 design is actually my very first design of his hair, so I wanted to honor that!

S2 is my fav design for his hairstyle, and also glasses, yeah, I feel like during the og s2 he'd become comfortable enough to use human stuff. And his hair is a bit messier, too.

S3 is my hc tied to his stay on the Nemesis. Y'know, long hair needs some time, and when you're out of time working for your enemy, well! Also I feel like Knockout would be kind enough to cut his hair, so no one has the will to pull on it Megatron in all caps

After is him after the events of the tfp movie, his hair is a bit grown out from S3 (don't mind the long orange locks, they're cute idc)

Idk if S-E one needs an explanation, he tied his hair so it wouldn't get in the way, that's all

Starscream's hairstyles are a lot simpler....

S1 his prime lol, his hair is styled perfectly. Gorgos

S2 bish is HOMELESS. Literally. No time for hair. No.

S3 he's back to the Decepticons, he doesn't mind the length but now it looks kinda neat. And also he's too traumatized to care for his hairstyle now

Arcee! I don't feel like she would change her hairstyle often, but she definitely cut her hair after Cliffjumper died. Everyone here is traumatized, what!!

That's all for now, I'm going to make a pt.2 soon :))

[heretherebedork]

He was smiling when he realized who was there! He didn't want to be, but he was. They're already in love, your honor, they're just a combination of shy and traumatized and, in this show, who isn't?

I love them so much.

This tiny worried idiot is so terrified that Jeff doesn't wanna go out with him... oh, Alan.

They get so close and they really can't talk once they get that close. All their thoughts go poof.

Shut up they're so cute and sweet. What am I going to do when they're actively flirting and not just mostly awkward with a side of love?

I died.

They're so cute it's illegal, absolutely illegal, they're so cute.

But poor Jeff is still trapped by his visions of the future, a future where no one survives and all this love doesn't matter, that there is no future for this to grow into no matter how much he loves.

[hexhomos]

Sorry, I'm asking here because asks aren't on your doomreed account, but do you have any fic recs for them ? You and vinnies art have intrigued me 😭 they both seem like such wet cats in different ways, and I love that

help i didnt know asks were off fixed that now thank you... I have two fics i keep in my back pocket as like, exemplary distillations of their whole thing (one in college vs one of their usual superhero stuff,) these are;

Supersymmetry and Night Blooms

Rly good examples of their usual shenanigans, the second one is directly based on a canon comic issue that *feels* like fanfic by a prolific yaoi author, the first is set in a modern-time re-imagining of the fantastic four where they meet in a supergenius internship thinktank for gifted youngsters. There's other fics that are good but i think they might be super confusing without canon context! which leads me to my second point. After you read these fics...

A lot, and i mean A LOT of official doomreed stuff feels straight up like fanfic. Either because its so beautifully woven or insane in concept (doctor doom points a gun at the real life Jack Kirby and Stan Lee to get himself written back into reed's life in his 3rd ever classic appearance, in the 60's, THAT'S the bodyswap issue)

or because the literal authors themselves come out to say 'they're soulmates' or 'they're in love' and Im talking abt this:

(^joseph culp, the first ever doom actor from 1994)

(^fantastic four (2019))

I've got even more stuff under the cut!! AND recs!!! CLICK! v v v

(^jonathan hickman, author of arguably the best FF saga & Secret Wars (2015)!!!)

(^Cantwell, author of the Doctor Doom comic!!)

These are excerpts from the canon fantastic four book, DOOMGATE:

There's even an RPG INSTRUCTION MODULE based on the idea of an earth where Reed & Victor partner up in college, Reed dies a tragic death (via their lab experiments) and Victor assumes such a traumatized widow role in his honor that he grows up to be a golden hero and protector of earth LOL (still a bit nuts):

This is not even to touch on the breadth of all their comic issues and little moments together. Victor canonically delivers Reed's second child and he chooses her name! Shes treated like his child too and calls him uncle doom!!

...Victor even asks Reed out on candlelit dinner dates for a yearly Latverian holiday!

In fact, that's the great starter doom/reed issue i keep recommending: read [ My Dinner With Doom right here. ]

If you enjoy that, check out my [ broader post guide for doomreed reading. ]

Still on the fence? try out these single comic issues:

Doctor Doom:

*Fantastic Four (1961) annual 2 (Classic origin of Doom issue) *Some call it MAGIC (the introduction of Doom's struggle w/ the devil for his mother's soul)

Doomreed:

*Marvel Two-in-One (2017) annual 1 *Marvel Two-in-One (2017) #11 (2nd fic i linked is based on this!!!!!!!!!) *'Duel Intentions' short story *Doom 2099 (2019) *Fantastic Four #700 special *Shame Itself (noncanon satire mini)

Anyway I've had a lot of fun reading these series generally and their big, year-spanning arcs are incredible. People hype up Secret Wars for a reason, Hickman's fantastic four builds up a really compelling doom/reed epic of cosmic divorce proportions. And its about love! And Forgiveness!

[mcyt-trios]

The winner of this poll will go on to face Architechs (Grian, MumboJumbo, Iskall85)

PROPAGANDA:

Campfire Crew:

CAMPFIRE CREW THE ABSOLUTE GUYS OF ALL TIME. CAMPFIRE CREW THE PINNACLE OF ACCIDENTAL FORESHADOWING THE TOP TIER OF "IT'S NOT THAT DEEP BUT IT COULD BE" WATCH AS LOYALTY EATS THEM FROM THE INSIDE OUT IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO END THIS WAY YOU SAY FINAL THREE AND YOU COME OUT WITH THE FINAL THREE. there is literally SO MUCH i could say about campfire crew and absolutely none of it would be enough. death games are prime material for interactions of all time and the campfire crew is absolutely knocking it out of the park. they lose their first lives planning around each other. they live in the same house (they live in different houses). they're scheming against each other. they're working with each other. they're two people who have FOUR KILLS EACH and one hapless innocent man. they're three people who swore a pact over a campfire and despite everything ended up holding to that pact. every time they play rock paper scissors, someone dies. the innocent, in death, turns them against each other, despite this not being how the game works. they reveal their roles to each other and it has this entire sense of inevitability -- of everyone having ALREADY KNOWN what was going to happen. it doesn't matter that two of them are going to kill everyone else on the server. you get that "innocent's" loyalty and you have him for life. paranoia is nothing next to a need for blood and connection. i have a normal amount of emotions over "i swear my loyalty / i offer my fealty / uhhhhhhhh same." do not @ me

Ghaae:

They’re in love your honor. They’re three gay men in love. Two himbos and a scientist. They were roommates then they were lovers.

dam it, I don't have the words for them. they are just little guys with big hearts and lots of love to give and all of them are just a bit traumatized and bit to used to the concept of death and they all need hugs and get them surprisingly often despite everything happening around them, and I love them and would kill for them <3

Gay people. Honestly that's it. They all need hugs respectively (as does everyone in this smp) Rae is the child of the Goddess of the mind, and is also the vessel of said Goddess (and is 1 of 2 things keeping their end dimension together). Aax is a olm who was. Made a in a lab. And kills undead things whether they want to or not (he was made to), named himself after an axe. Caspain is just a guy. The most guy on this smp. They got a cute little house and a even more adorable dog named atlas, and back in season 2 their axolotal area was named the armory because most of the axolotals were named after weapons. (Season 3 its just a pond), they're very gay all the time and deserve the whole world.

[these-posts-arent-real]

(masterpost link)

Aaand we have returned to the madness on a larger scale! What are these cats up to...

#sighh #i know i've been away from dash sim posting for a while #was dealing with my last few days of school #but #that is Over Now #i can return to fulfilling everyone's need for Warrior Cats But Tumblr

57 notes

🐦 s3afow1s--sc0wl Follow

PLEASE stop talking about the most recent TTDV slates without spoilers, it hasn't made its rounds to ShadowClan yet and I don't want to know what's going to happen before I read it!!!!

#ttdv discussion #ttdv:rp #through the desert vast #ttdv: rattlesnake path #ttdv #through the desert vast: rattlesnake path #especially since i heard the newest slates have seafowl in them a lot #he's my specialest guy...

9 notes

🔁 🛤 carnation-stem-02 reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

I think the worst thing about no longer being a Clan cat is that a lot of the time I have no idea what y'all over there are talking about. What is TTDV?

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

TTDV stands for Through the Desert Vast. It's a new slate series everyone's going bee-brained over... I haven't read it yet because I prefer for a series to be finished before reading, but I've heard good things. Queer rep within the first couple chapters of the first slate-set, a non-traditional setting and cast (a rogue group living in the desert), and complex characters... needless to say I'm excited for when it finishes and I can read it!

#it's been on my to-read list for a while #maybe this is a sign #it seems pretty cool #ttdv

2,070 notes

🔁 🐦 s3afow1s--sc0wl reblogged

⛰️ fc-rockpaint Follow

In honor of Through the Desert Vast becoming popular, I've decided to make a rock-dye project on all of the main characters. Today's character is... Seafowl!

Unfortunately I don't have the right paints to portray him accurately (I haven't been able to find any white herbs for his patches, but I'm still on the lookout!) but this is mostly accurate to how he is described in the slates.

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Pssst... @s3afow1s--sc0wl

#eeeek! seafowl! #i looove him so much... my precious boy... #art #ttdv #ttdv seafowl #thanks for the tag!

162 notes

🔁 🌻 l1llyst3m reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Aahhhh I've finally gotten into TTDV and... NOBODY was gonna tellme that one of the characters is heavily implied to be transfem? Nobody thought I'd find this interesting????

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

SCRATCH THAT. IT'S CANON. PIT VIPER IS CANONICALLY TRANS.

🐚 hermitcrabfriend Follow

I had wondered if you were talking about Pit Viper when I saw this post a cople days ago! Apparently so ^w^ yeah, it's canon, gets confirmed in the second slate set.

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

This makes me wonder. Why is everyone on this site talking about Seafowl saying he gives "egg vibes" when we have. An actual confirmed trans character. Right here.

Nothing against Seafowl but the only vibe he gives off to me is traumatized.

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

He's your typical prettyboy cishet protagonist type and everyone is pissed off that he's a side character rather than ttdv's ✨️specialest boy✨️. So they're trying to make him special by claiming he gives off trans vibes when he clearly does not and is happy as a tom.

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

#wait till op reads rattlesnake path

What do you mean by that-

#what do you MEAN by that— #im gonna need context #is this /pos or /neg #does something bad happen in rattlesnake path?? #help someone pls #through the desert vast #ttdv

103 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🥬 rxttencatmint

Im so fucking irritated... my mom wont let me read TTDV because it's "inApPrOpRiAtE." Which. Of course. Is because it has lgbtqia+ characters.

🥬 rxttencatmint

WONDEDFUL NEWS. MY MENTOR LET ME BORROW HIS COPY OF THE FIRST SET. AHHHHH!!!!! I GET TO READ IT!!

#YIPPEEEEE #òwó im so exCITED!!! #ive been wanting to read ttdv for a whileee #i love my mentor sm

5 notes

🪵 i-eat-moss Follow

My unpopular opinion (TTDV:RP SPOILERS INCOMING)

Keep reading

#ttdv:rp #ttdv #rattlesnake path spoilers #ttdv spoilers #ttdv:rp spoilers #nothing against pit viper!!! #i like her as a character #i just dont get why we got a whole book explaining her backstory

203 notes

🐚 hermitcrabfriend Follow

I LOOOOVE RATTLESNAKE PATH SO MUCH. IVE JUST GOTTEN TO READ IT AND IM SO EXCITED. OMG.

Not only is it a whole set dedicated to my favorite character !!! like a dream come true!!! It ALSO contains good intersex rep (Ball Python my beloved!!!). Over all just a FANTASTIC set in a fantastic series.

12 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

I'm... back?? I'M BACK ON CLANBLR!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO

#i thought i'd never get back #stuck on Tumblr...

0 notes

🍽 the-post-maker

I hope y'all enjoyed this insight into what the cats do when they get fandom-y... and if you want to discuss TtDV further... well, there's a server for that ;) now back to your regular dash

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

Scout's Honor

Day #1 - Prompt: Firsts | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: E | CW: Sex Acts, Language | POV: Goodie (Freak) | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Newly Gotten Together Steddie, Semi-Public Sexual Acts, Touch Me While Your Bros Play Grand Theft Auto Super Nintendo, The Boys of Corroded Coffin Are Tired of Eddie's Horny Bullshit

This has a sister fic, Full Throttle, from Steve's POV. Either can be read standalone.

"It's my turn!" Gareth shouts, grabbing at the controller, and Goodie holds it up, as far as the cord will stretch, trying to keep it out of his grubby little hands. Laughing as he pushes and fights to get a hold of it.

It is his turn, but Goodie isn't about to cave to the little shit's demands that easily.

"Guys," Jeff warns, then adds, "just take mine," offering up his controller up to Gareth.

"But I want to be player one!" Gareth snaps, and Goodie just laughs. No fucking way. 

"Winner gets to be player one, and that's me," Goodie tells him, and Gareth whines about it, but he does take the second controller from Jeff's hands. 

Their first decent check came last week, and after divvying up and paying out all their debts, they had just enough left over to buy the brand new Super Nintendo. There was one left in the store, and if they pooled their money together, they could actually afford it.

So. The check is gone, long gone, they spent every damn dime, but it was fucking worth it, as they crowd around the TV in the cheap apartment they're all crammed into, playing Super Mario World. They've been taking turns, the four of them. Well, three now that Steve Harrington has shown up. Goodie thought it'd mean they had to give him a turn too, but instead Eddie gave up on playing with them, and is on the other couch, Steve all over Eddie, taking up all his attention.

Just because Eddie was the first of them to get into a relationship, doesn't mean the band should have to be subjected to this all the time. But they are, because Eddie and Steve are horny motherfuckers, the both of them.

It wasn't so bad before they all lived together, but now, torture. Pure and utter torture.

They've been trying to do the long-distance thing, and Goodie was sure it would fizzle. After the shine wore off fucking King Steve. Like, he gets it. High school Eddie could never, would never, and now he's reliving his adolescence, chasing after Steve Harrington like a little lap dog. Panting, and humping his goddamn leg.

It's so high school, it makes Goodie sick. 

Unfortunately, this has gone on long enough that now Goodie's sure they're about to be saddled with Harrington full-time. 

Goodie looks over, and no fucking way. Not on his couch. Their shared couch. Community property.

Steve's trying to look normal, but he's red-faced, eyes squeezed shut, his gym shorts pulled down in the back, Eddie's fingers disappearing down into them, into Steve, Goodie's pretty fucking sure. He doesn't know where else they could be. Especially not with the face Steve's making.

Goodie nudges Gareth, just to make sure he's not seeing things. Misconstruing. Maybe he just has a dirty mind, and is still traumatized from the blowjob incident last week.

And the tongue in the asshole fiasco from the week before that.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, not again," Gareth says under his breath, so no, no he's not imagining it. Eddie's got three fingers shoved up Steve's asshole right where they can all see. 

"Eddie!" Goodie yells, and Steve is the one that jumps, Eddie just fucking laughs, but he doesn't pull his hand out of Steve shorts, until Steve crawls off his lap, ears tinged red, heading straight for the bathroom.

"Seriously? With us in the room?" Goodie asks, as soon as Steve's gone, behind the closed door.

"I wasn't doing anything," Eddie bemoans, but he has a shit eating grin, as he puts up three fingers, in a mock salute, "Scout's honor."

And his fingers are fucking shiny, with what must be lube. 

Because they've been up Steve's ass. 

Goodie shakes his head, trying not to give Eddie the attention he's clearly craving. He's a pervert, and Goodie's not playing into his exhibionist streak. 

Steve finally resurfaces from the bathroom, and Eddie stands.

"Time for bed," Eddie says, and then they're gone, the door to Eddie and Gareth's bedroom shutting with a heavy snick.

Gareth looks over at Goodie, and gives him a withering stare, "Thanks. Now my room's gonna smell like spunk. Again."

Goodie just cackles. Sucker.

Steve's moaning, Eddie's grunting, headboard hitting the wall, and honestly, Goodie thinks maybe he should have just kept his goddamn mouth shut. This is worse.

"How're they still like this, it's been years," Goodie says, not really asking a question. 

"Years?" Jeff asks, "The dancing around each other, maybe, but the fucking? That's brand new."

"You're shitting me?" Goodie asks, in disbelief. There's no fucking way. "Gareth?"

Gareth will know.

"A couple months?" Gareth offers, and Goodie cannot believe that's true. Eddie's been lusting for, talking about, obsessing over Steve Harrington ever since that weird spring break that sent Eddie to the hospital for weeks, with Steve a constant at his side. Steve had taken up permanent residency, like he was Wayne Newton in Vegas. 

Eddie wrapped up in soft sweaters that definitely weren't his own. 

They were together. Right? Definitely. These two just weren't observant.

Eddie punctuates his thought with a long, disgusting groan, that can only mean he's just come. 

"We gotta make some changes," Goodie says, "we can't live like this."

"We're barely here, Goods, let him have this," Jeff says, the peacemaker, the voice of reason. The herder of cats. 

"No," Goodie argues, just to argue. 

"Yes," Jeff counters, "if you don't, I bet Steve's cozy little house on Wabash is gonna look pretty damn good."

"Eddie wouldn't dare," Goodie snaps, and then he hears Eddie and Steve both giggling, and well, Eddie might.

Goddammit. 

"Fine, we'll be assaulted by the sights and sounds, but I won't be happy."

"None of us are," Gareth says in solidarity, agreeing with Goodie, for once. Hell has officially frozen over.

Eddie comes out, holding a towel over his junk, bare ass in the wind, grinning like an asshole as he heads towards the bathroom.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: This is inspired by Taylor's Swift song So High School. Steve knows how to ball, Eddie knows Aristotle. I don't make the rules.

Read Steve's POV on this situation right here in, Full Throttle.

[gotham-daydreams]

Honestly, if I was reader I would weaponize the fact they literally know next to nothing about me. Hear me out

Bruce and fam show up and are like: it's so irresponsible for you to just disappear and not tell anyone, did you drop out of school just to get away

Me, knowing they never paid attention anyways: no one wanted to talk that night so I left a note. And no I didn't drop out, I graduated with honors. I went to/am going to college for___ degree. I took my diplomas with me because it's MY accomplishment

Or

Bruce letting his high tech medical machine do a series of tests because he's lost it and wants to know every detail down to your white cell count: you've had a significant damage to your pelvis in recent months

Me : oh yeah, My husband is going through a phase

Bruce : you're married???

Me : was it my ring or extraordinarily good sex life that gave it away??

Like seriously, I'd not pull any punches when it comes to hurting them back for what they did to me. Such as mentioning lasting injuries or traumatic events that happened while they were pretending I didn't exist. If anything I'd bring it up just to hammer in the fact that I.don't.need.them. And let them all have mental breakdowns. It gives me joy. And the best part is, they really wouldn't know what's fact or fiction. Let them go hunting for a husband that doesn't exist. Send them on wild goose chases for anything and everything they don't know.

Again, I love all of these spite posts and y'all are a RIOT and I love y'all for that, oh my god.

Icing on the cake? Of course the reader has gotten hurt in the past. They've overworked each and every last atom in their bodies just to have an inch of a connect with the Batfam, but still got nothing for their efforts. Which may or may not be mentioned in part 3 when stuff starts tumbling down even more.

Honestly, why not just make shit like that worse? How are they going to know?

You broke your wrist? Say it was your arm.

An ankle? Say it was both your legs and you were maybe even bedridden for a while. Or just on crutches (which may or may not be canon).

Hell, with the whole husband thing — why not lowkey turn it into a whole ass drama for the hell of it? You've had pervious partners in the past, and honestly some of them were kind of shit but there was this one person who you're actually kind of chill with. Maybe you still have a drink with them every now and again. You're married but have already been through your first divorce and have maybe been thinking of having children, or maybe you already do! (Which, of course, they can be pets but how is the Batfam going to know that right away?)

Basically, go off. They honestly deserve it, and especially because after years they still don't know the smallest thing about the reader. Well- besides that they're into music, and even then that's only about half of them? I believe?

The only one that would see through your bs is Alfred but he isn't going to say anything. Not without being sassy himself and heavily sarcastic. Even if he'll only play along for so long, your the favorite so it's okay. Besides it wouldn't be the first mind games he's played.

It may take everyone a little longer, but you can guess why. Hell, maybe some lies they'll never even find out about, since some of the best lies are told with a little bit of truth to them.

Regardless, it all spunds very fun ♡♡