#They’re in the middle of a damn soap opera! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nightxcreature · 2 months ago

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See ya later. 👋

Summary: Reader and Team Freewill make their way to the apocalypse world and come face to face with someone they lost.

This is not based off of the post I made the other day, but it could technically be a tie in if I do a series.

pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader; Platonic!Cas x Reader, Platonic!Sam x Reader, Daughter!reader

Warnings: 18+, Language (reader likes to swear because so do I), slight dirty talk at one point if you squint, dead people, angst, angry dad for like two seconds, Cas feeling guilty for knowing something before everyone else, readers a big ole bitch about Jack

word count: 2492 (I busted my assssssssss, bro.)

Requests are open. 💕

The echoes from Kelly’s screams reverberated off the mountains surrounding the little cabin on the lake, sending those cries of pain and fear right back to us as if mother nature herself knew that Kelly Kline was bringing the worst of the worst right to her front door. Sitting helplessly listening to her pained wails feels like we’ve got a front row seat to the end of the world. Mary had gone to keep her company when we first arrived, but nothing she’s done has given Kelly a distraction from the child trying to rip its way out of her womb. Castiel continues to try and convince us that this baby will bring peace, but something that’s half of the biggest bad in history has no way of knowing a damn thing about peace.

Another scream fills the house, and we all flinch. I can’t stay in here any longer, lifting my head from hands I turn to Sam, “Did you guys check the wards on the house? If we can’t move Kelly and Lucifer is headed this way, then we need to make sure that they’re strong enough stop him.”

“Uh, no. No, not yet.” He whispers quietly, “You wanna check them?”

I nod slightly and stand, glancing in Deans direction and pointing toward the door, “Wanna come with me?”

He doesn’t answer, just stands, grabs my hand, and pulls me toward the door. As he reaches for the doorknob, Cas tries to interject, but just a second too late.

“Cas,” Dean starts gruffly, pointing toward what looks like a big golden tear in the middle of the air, “What the hell is that?”

Cas sighs and follows us out the door, Sam close behind him, “It’s a tear in space and time.”

“Uh, and that means?” Dean questions, moving down the stairs to get a closer look. I stay close behind keeping a firm grip on his hand to yank him away in case something comes barreling out at us…or he gets the stupid idea to jump in.

Cas steps in front of us to face the rift before stoically responding, “It’s a doorway to another world.”

“Another world?” Sam questions, coming to stand on Dean’s other side to study the rift himself.

Dean scoffs and looks at Cas in confusion, “What like Narnia?”

Cas slowly turns to speak, “No. No, in there it’s Earth but…but different. It’s a…a alternate reality.”

“Like that time we got zapped to another world and you were Polish.” Dean says with a chuckle and quick look toward Sam.

“And you were on a soap opera, ‘Eric’.” I pipe in earning a grin from Sam.

“Right,” He says quickly, “Cas, how did this get here?”

Cas, who seemed utterly confused at our banter, stares back into the rift before he speaks, “The child being born, his power it seems to be puncturing the fabric of our universe.”

“As if things weren’t already hectic enough with the kid and his psycho daddy, let’s just add in a portal to the multiverse, to keep things interesting.” I mutter, earning a disapproving look from Sam, “What? Am I wrong? Who knows what could come out of that thing! Thanos?”

“The Brain Gremlin?” Dean adds.

“The Brundlefly!”

Dean nods in agreement, “Good pick.”

“What exactly is on the other side, Cas?” Sam asks cautiously.

“You don’t want to know.” Cas replies solemnly, continuing to stare into the abyss.

We each glance at each other in silent communication, agreeing that there’s no way we can let this thing stay here without knowing what could come out of it. With our world already experiencing potentially the biggest bad that it’s ever known, we don’t need to add another to the mix. Sam and Dean nod to each other before Dean speaks up, “Probably. But we need to.”

And without another word, Cas touches the portal and we’re whisked into the unknown.

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Immediately we land in the middle of what looks like a war zone. Bodies impaled on spikes taller than trees surround us, those not being used as shishkabobs are thrown haphazardly throughout the maze of destruction. Bright orange fire balls raining down from above and lightning flashes of bright crimson are the only color to be found in this place.

“Whoa.” Sam breathes.

“Cas, what is this?” Dean asks as we survey the area around us.

“As I said, it’s Earth. But this Earth is locked in eternal war between Heaven and Hell. There are armies of angels fighting hordes of demons, and the few humans that remain are caught in between.” Cas begins to walk ahead, being careful to avoid the dead around us.

“Humans? You mean there are people that are still kickin’ here?” I question as we follow behind him, making sure to step exactly where he did…just in case.

Sam stops, “How do you know that?” He asks Cas, confusion littering his features.

“A friend told me.”

A guilty look crosses Cas’ face as he glances in my direction, but just as quickly it’s gone. I make a mental note to question him about that later and look to Dean as he starts to speak.

“Oh, good. Now you’re making friends? That’s…” Irritation begins to creep up his face and he shakes his head, “Alright, on a scale of one to ten, how bad is this?”

Sam scoffs as he moves to look around even further, “I don’t know. I gotta say a, uh, hole in reality leading to a bombed out apocalypse world? I’m gonna say eleven.”

“Sounds right.”

Cas smiles softly, “You don’t have to worry. The child, he opened this door, I know he’ll close it.”

I laugh dryly, giving Cas a pointed look, “Yeah, Lucifer’s son, right? You sure about that?”

“I have faith.”

“Really? In your unborn baby-god?” Dean sarcastically quips.

“Yes.” Cas’ stern reply isn’t as effective in ending the conversation as it usually is, it just pisses me off.

“Well, then, you’re a dumbass.” I snap, “Lucifer has literally taken everything from us. He’s possessed Sam, tried to kill Dean, tortured me for days after he got out of the cage, and killed you and my dad before taking Sam to Hell! If you think for one second that this demon baby is gonna save the world, you’ve lost your damn mind. Everything that comes from that sorry, good for nothing idijit is pain, death, and destruction. I’m sorry, Cas, but you’re wrong about this.”

Cas’ frown deepened as he stared at me, guilt appearing on his face once more, “I’m sorry about your dad.”

Confusion colors my features and I choke out a quiet, “What?”

“Your dad. I’m sorry that he died.”

“That was years ago, and you both came back the same day. There’s nothing to apologize for.” The guilty look remains on Cas’ face as I speak, so I add, “Seriously, if you’re gonna apologize for anything it should be for is believing in the Devil Spawn.”

“No, not that time.” He says sternly, “I’m sorry about Dick. I’m sorry that you never got the chance to say goodbye. I know you wish that you had.”

“This has nothing to do with-“ I start to respond, but am suddenly cut off by Sam yelling to get our attention. Yanking my pistol out of its holster and snapping my head in the direction of Sam’s stare, I notice a strange figure slowly walking toward us. Its head covered in a checkered hood, scarves around its neck….and a bulky tan jacket that I would recognize anywhere….

“Hey! Hey! Hands in the air!” Dean yells, raising his gun and preparing to take a shot.

Cas throws up an arm and pushes Dean’s hand down, “No, don’t.”

He looks at me again, the guilt from earlier crossing his face once more and then he nods. I can feel tears pricking my eyes as I take a small step forward meeting the figure as they finally reach us. He doesn’t move to remove the hood, but I know him all the same.

“Don’t shoot me, Old Man.” I whisper as I raise a hand to touch the jacket on his frame, “You had one of these where I’m from, too. The scarves are a new addition though, don’t think I ever saw you in that.”

He chuckles, and I feel the tears start to fall as I hear the voice of my childhood for the first time in five years, “Yeah, they’re itchy as all hell, too.” He says as he removes the scarf covering his face, “I hate the damn things.”

“Bobby?” I hear Sam’s reaction behind me, and I can only imagine the shock on Dean’s face, but I can’t make myself look away for even a second, afraid that if I do, he’ll disappear. His face is dirty, and his hair looks longer under his hat, but he doesn’t look much different than he did in our world. The bags under his eyes are the same, though I’m sure for a much darker reason here than they were back home. He’s talking to Sam, and I can vaguely understand that he has no clue who they are. My eyes widen and I look back toward the boys panicked. What if he doesn’t know me? What if I don’t exist here? Or worse, what if I do and he doesn’t know that I’m not his kid?

“Bobby, it’s us. Sam and Dean Winchester.” Dean explains, pointing between the two of them.

“You say that like it’s supposed to mean something, but…naw.” Bobby replies curtly, and turns back to me, “You alright, ‘Pea?” he asks softly.

I snap my gaze up to his face again, “You know me?”

He gives me a small smile and puts his hand on my shoulder, “I’d know you in any world, Chickpea.”

The tears freely flow down my cheeks as I reach up to touch the hand he placed on my shoulder, “You died in my world. And I didn’t even get to say good-bye.”

He sighs and looks down, “You died here, a couple years ago actually. I thought I would’ve eaten a bullet by now, but I got too many people relying on me. And you’d kick my ass in the afterlife if I did.”

I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me at that and I shake my head, “Morbid old man.”

Dean clears his throat awkwardly and takes a step to stand beside me, “Listen, I know you two need this reunion, and I want you to have it. But maybe we could address a few of the other pressing matters first, you know?” He says, pointing toward the bodies next to us.

“What do you want to know?” Bobby asks.

We spend the next several minutes discussing the ins and outs of his world and ours, and compared to his, we live the high life. This is a world in which Sam and Dean Winchester never existed, therefore the Battle of the Brothers did occur, Michael whooped Lucifers fiery ass, and humanity was fucked because of it.

“Damn,” I mutter to Dean, “I was hoping there was another you running around here somewhere.”

He leans down and grins, “I thought you were thankful there was only one of me?”

I shrug and turn my head to whisper in his ear, “Maybe I would’ve liked to experience two.”

We both grin at each other, but before he can respond we’re interrupted by someone loudly clearing their throat.

“Is what I have to say not important to the two of you?” Bobby barks, causing Dean to stand up straight and step away from me, “That’s right boy, you stay at least three feet away from her while you’re in my world or I’ll have you by the balls.”

I stare at Dean blankly, blinking a few times, “You’re thirty-seven, what are you doing?”

He shuffles his feet and looks down, “Sorry, must be PTSD or something…Haven’t heard him yell at me like that in a while.”

Sam pats his back and chuckles, “It was good seeing you, Bobby. Hopefully this won’t be the last time.”

“We’ll see.” He responds gruffly, grabbing my arm as we turned to go, “I know you’re not my kid, but you look like my kid and you sound like my kid, so I love you. Please be safe out there.”

“I love you, too. And I’m pretty sure I need to worry about you being here more than you need to worry about me over there.” I say as I point back to the rift, “Thank you for not shooting me earlier. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you did.”

“If it was anybody else, I would have. You’re lucky that you’re you,” He says with a smile, “I hope I get to see you again soon, Kid.”

“Me too.” I fight back the tears forming in my eyes, I know what’s coming and even though I’ve spent every day regretting missing my dad’s final moments, I still don’t think I’m ready for good-bye, “What if we don’t say bye? Just see you later.”

He smiles and nods, “Can I hug you?”

“Absolutely.”

He wraps his arms around me, and I can’t stop myself from sobbing into his chest. We stay like for a few minutes until I feel the boys eyes on my back. I sit up and grin at him, “See you later, Old Man.”

His eyes glisten as he rests a hand on my cheek, “See you later, Chickpea. I love ya.”

“You too.” I reply as I turn and step through the portal.

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Dean has his arm wrapped around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head, “You okay?” he asks, leaning away just enough to see my face.

“That’s a loaded question.” I say with a smile, “But I think I will be.”

He pulls me close and rests his chin on my head as he sighs, “Good, cause we’ve got a lot of work to do. Mad Max World over there is gonna need to be taken care of.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got problems of our own to take care of first. He’ll be fine.” I state as I lean into him. Looking back toward the rift, I make eye contact with Cas who smiles awkwardly. I grin back and mouth, “Thank you.” To which he gives a little nod before turning to go inside to check on Kelly; Sam, Dean, and I tagging close behind.

“Oh, come on!” Dean exclaims as we come face to face with the King of Hell.

“Hello, Boys.” Crowley gives a little wave with his bandaged hand and smirks.

“Wait,” Sam starts, “How the hell did you-“

“I improvised. And lucky I did, it turns out I’m the answer to all your problems.” He says with a nod to the rift.

Looks like ‘later’ is coming a lot sooner than planned.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed! And, I also hope it makes sense that Cas was feeling guilty about seeing Bobby first, I'm not sure how that comes across. I did this on microsoft word and just pasted it here so i hope it shows up ok. As always, I'm brushing the dust off my fanfic writing skills so please show mercy. lol

Tags: @lmhf1

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural #spn fanfic #sam winchester #bobby singer #castiel

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being-of-rain · 2 years ago

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Some thoughts on my Classic Who watchthrough, the second half of season 21. I’ve got really behind on these thoughts, whoops. I’m still hoping to get through them all before the end of the year!

First of all, before I forget- why on Earth does the cover of the Planet of Fire DVD have the random heat suit right in the middle, but no Turlough on it anywhere??? Bizarre. You know I love the glimpses of genuine drama and character depth in this show, so I adore Turlough in his final story. The way he keeps secrets and sabotages the Tardis at the start, it’s just like old times. It’s so much more impactful because we’ve seen him grow and change, so reverting back like this feels like something big. Then the way he and the Doctor’s friendship is pushed close to breaking point is great to watch, when they’re forced into a situation where the Master turns up and lives are hanging in the balance, and the Doctor tells Turlough “if you're holding back anything that will aid the Master, our friendship is at an end.” This is a real soap opera for Turlough, I didn’t realise this was such a family drama. And then at the end he makes a choice to face his past! It’s just so good. Every day I pray that Doctor Who gets a bit more experimental with its companions so we get more character journeys like Turlough’s. Oh, and he goes to save Peri’s life while he’s busy with his own stuff too, good on you Turlough. Peri has a pretty strong start! Like a lot of companions, she feels like she gets a bit more generic as her time in the Tardis goes on, but her first story paints an interesting picture. I have to say I agree with her step-father that her plan to join a bunch of strangers for international travel at such a young age was a bad idea... though I guess that’s more or less what she ends up doing in the Tardis anyway. Though to be fair I thought she adapted to it very quickly- One of the first things she does when waking up to find herself on her first alien planet is to find a way to fend off the Master by threatening a Tardis component he needs and fight his control of Kamelion. Her accent is very much under development though huh. Isn’t the story that Nicola Bryant tricked the BBC into thinking she was actually American? How. I’m a big Dr Who fan who’s been binging through this series at break-neck speed, and even I forgot that Kamelion was onboard the Tardis by the start of this story. I can only wonder if casual viewers at the time remembered him at all, like a year after he was last mentioned, especially when his reintroduction here was so sudden. Maybe he was a massive pest of a roommate though, judging by how much satisfaction Turlough takes in disabling him with a vindictive “you’re finished Kamelion!” The Master reminded me of a wild west preacher in this one. I don’t remember seeing much of this story as a kid, except for the one cliffhanger when Peri opened the box in the Master’s Tardis to find the Master was shrunken inside. Iconic. Also, I know the set for the Master’s Tardis is basically always the Doctor’s Tardis with a black makeover, but the implication here is that he modified his central console to look the way the Doctor had modified his to in The Five Doctors, which is hilarious. Finally, the Doctor really says that he’s going to change his ways after Tegan leaves, then the next story kills Kamelion and the Master pretty easily huh. Damn dude. He also gets to say “obey me” at one point when trying to control Kamelion, which felt so weird but fit with the idea of a darker series.

I didn’t have a lot of notes written for The Caves of Androzani, probably because I’ve seen it many times before. Though this is somehow the first time I’ve noticed the way Peri’s accent slips in it. I know it’s a really solid story, but tbh the serial isn’t going to make a list of favourites for me. Bleak stories with basically no likable characters just aren’t really my thing. My favourite bit is naturally the part three cliffhanger. What a phenomenal moment. Maybe it’s because of how grounded and well made the rest of it is, but the Cave Beast really does stand out as particularly fake-looking. But I also thought that about the Myrka in Warriors of the Deep. Surely two of the least convincing monsters in Classic Who? I can suspend my disbelief pretty easily for most of the things in this show but I struggle with them.

One of the only things I really knew about The Twin Dilemma going in was that it was rated the worst Doctor Who story a few times in DWM polls, so I was interested to see what I’d think of it. And now that I have, honestly I feel like I’ve seen worse? Maybe it’s because I’ve absorbed a Lot of Who EU content, and that really raises the bar for what could be considered the worst Doctor Who story. Plus I didn’t really find it boring, which is a crime many other stories commit, but perhaps that’s just because this is the first time I was watching it. I think ultimately a lot of the story’s bad reputation comes from the Doctor’s madness ...which is fair. I think the show doing something different with the Doctor was a very good decision, especially after the Fifth Doctor, and I like how Six explicitly references in the story that his personality is a reaction to Five. And that sort of thing can be done very well, as shown by the Twelfth Doctor. But I think the show made a few big mistakes with Six (and I’ll always say that none of them were Colin Baker’s fault, who was clearly very talented and did the best he could with the scripts he was given). All the mistakes basically come down to the story not really making clear what Six’s personality actually is. The biggest crime of the story is his bouts of madness, like (infamously) strangling Peri, which don’t actually reflect nothing about the character, and don’t mean anything in the story at all. They’re just things that happen... for shock value I guess? Compare to Twelve in Deep Breath, whose extreme moments like leaving Clara without the sonic and taking a coat from a homeless man still felt tied to the character’s newly prickly pragmatism. At the end of Twin Dilemma the Doctor announces that he’s “fully stabilised,” but that doesn’t make a great character introduction when it doesn’t make very clear which extreme bits of his character are staying and which are just going to be ignored with no consequences. Then there’s two things that make the mess worse: firstly, they end the series like that. Maybe they thought that would make people curious about the next series, but personally I think showing the main character at his most unlikable then telling people to come back next time for more of it is a bizarre choice (Again, Twelve’s Deep Breath was better for being at the start of the series, and letting the audience explore the character further soon after.) Secondly, the next season clearly doesn’t have a strong idea of the character, because despite announcing him to be stablisied, Peri goes on to say that he’s still unstable quite a lot next season, and he definitely keeps a lot of his unlikable qualities. In short, in order to make an ‘unlikable Doctor’ work, the Dr Who writers needed a strong idea of what they were going to do with him, and they simply did not.

Anything about the rest of the story? The Doctor being mean meant that the times he had sweet moments with Peri and Azmael stand out. Him saying “brave heart Tegan,” was sweet as well, and so was Peri smiling at the end when he announced “I am the Doctor whether you like it or not.” Tbh one of the things that seemed the most out-of-character to me was when the Doctor calls the Tardis hideous! I bet he felt awful about that later. Something I didn’t like about the story was the way it used the word “alien” all the time as if it made sense to use when the main character is a different species, and sometimes as if the word meant ‘enemy.’ Very bad vibes! I hate it. Something I did like in the story was how Peri could still be very competent even though she was overwhelmed by the Doctor’s changes. One of my favourite moments in the story is when she teleports into the Tardis, a policeman in there points a gun at her and tells her to stop, and she just ignores him because she’s got more important things to deal with like worrying about the Doctor. Amazing. So yeah, that’s the end of Five and the start of Six. Close to the end now!

#my thoughts #five #turlough #master #kamelion #peri #six

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that-headcanon-girl · 2 years ago

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dating bucky barnes and sam wilson would include....

A/N: this is probably the longest headcanon I ever wrote lmao. anyways, enjoy!

first off, let me say, being in a relationship with them is always a rollercoaster.

whether it's going on a mission and not knowing if everyone of y'all is going to survive or shopping groceries with them and fighting over what you should eat for dinner

you love watching soap operas with them every night

and discussing the last episode you watched next morning at the breakfast table

"Why did Geraldine hook up with Paul though?"

"No, the real question is WHY would Paul do that to Emma?!"

you're invested

calling them "the boys" whenever you're talking about them to other people

"Yeah, the boys and I watched soap operas all night..."

"The boys forgot to buy potatoes again..."

them telling you to stop calling them that

when you ask why, they say they're your boyfriends and they want to be perceived as such and not just as some random boys in your life

So you start calling them "the boyfriends" and they love it

they're very protective of you

whenever you go on missions they always worry so much

they don't want you to get hurt

they would rather have you working a safer job, like idk teacher or something

but you argue with them that teachers are not that safe either bc of school shootings

and you're needed at your current job

when you do get hurt really badly one day they get very mad

all hell breaks loose

whoever did that is certainly gonna pay for it

After missions you usually go and get hotdogs

It's like a tradition almost

most of the time, you talk about how your little adventure went and discuss your every move, giving tips on how to do better next time

it really helps

but when y'all are not in the mood, you just sit there, eating quietly

It's really peaceful

when bucky has nightmares again and can't sleep you go for late night drives

one of you gets the fast food

the other one gets the music

and you drive around the city

you and bucky in the back seats, wrapped in blankets, looking out the mirror

and Sam in the driver's seat

after 30 minutes, bucky's usually asleep again

you and sam love to cook together

Sam learned it from his sister and you learned it from your momma

let's just say together you're a force to be reckoned with

You make the most delicious Christmas dinner and the most delicious creme brûlée and the most delicious pancakes

Bucky is so lucky to have you because that boy can't cook at all

he's always bragging to the other Avengers about the delicious food you make and how good you can cook

whenever you meet new people, you're usually inviting them over to your apartment and you and Sam cook

Bucky loves you and Sam very much

One time he overheard one of the avengers making a not so nice joke about the two of you and he was like

"Excuse me?! That's the loves of my life and my emotional support persons you're talking about"

He kicked their asses

Bucky is probably the most protective one

he's always scared he'll lose you and Sam

gets jealous pretty easily

he can be clingy, but that mostly happens at home

he's afraid to show his soft side outside of your apartment

he loves holding you

Mostly little spoon with Sam and big spoon with you

They love saying "that's my girl" or "atta girl" to you

especially when you're in the middle of a fight and you just killed that ugly alien or you saved Bucky from being kidnapped or you knocked that really tall and strong guy out

you pretend to find it annoying but you secretly love it

but since you're not an unattractive woman, "that's my girl" can quickly turn into "hey, that's my girl"

Of course Bucky and Sam hate that every damn guy in the world is drooling over you but I mean, what can ya do you're just that hot

sometimes they're like "wow you look stunning in that dress but let's just stay home because we want you only for ourselves"

But you ain't having it so you always end up going to that party

So, fights

fights can be really intense

especially with bucky

I mean, that dude is/was a frickin supersoldier

lots of shouting

It can get pretty ugly

and Bucky never hesitates to do his death stare

lots and lots of them trying to prove their masculinity to each other

bucky is a little drama queen so he's gonna be pouting for hours after a fight

It annoys Sam

Bucky shouting at you and Sam

and feeling like crap after doing so

He never means to lose his temper, he just can't help it

One time he threw a vase and one of the pieces gave you a big cut on your cheek

he hid in his room for several days because he wasn't able to face you

He felt so bad, he couldn't believe how he could ever hurt you, his princess, his angel

Everytime he sees the scar you still have on your cheek he wants to beat himself up

You try to reassure him of course, that you know he never meant to hurt you and that you know he loves you

and god forbid you cry during a fight

then it's done, it's over

they cannot stand to see you cry

especially because you don't cry a lot, so they know it's really bad when you do

same for bucky and Sam ofc

After a fight, y'all buy flowers for each other and it's all good

Y'all can never stay mad for too long

Y'all love each other too much

Okay, but teasing

So much teasing

It's not even sexual

just straight up making fun of each other

you love insulting each other, kind of roasting the other person

But no one

Literally no one, except you three,

is allowed to make fun of you

One time Tony made a bad joke about Sam (like not funny, if it's funny it's alright) and bucky and you went ballistic on him

Sam had to hold both of you back

They know now it's not good to mess with y'all

I swear to God, you have so many insiders

You can't count them on both hands

sometimes you're just sitting with the other Avengers and one of you'll say "do you remember that one time...?" and literally not say anything else and crack up laughing

the other Avengers are literally so annoyed with you three

especially Tony

like you're so annoying

1. because you're such a perfect couple

2. you constantly bicker

3. you're very sarcastic

probably the most sarcastic couple to exist on earth

sleeping together in one big bed

bucky : next to the door so he can kill everything that tries to walk in

you: in the middle

sam: next to the window because he gets hot pretty quickly

You don't use pet names like "sweetheart" or "darling" or "babe"

you think it's weird and it feels unnatural

either you call yourselves by your real names or "insult-names"

like "weirdo", "dipshit", "asshole", "stupid", "fool", "bonehead", "creep"

you don't use them as insults though, well, mostly

you call each other these names like everyday, you use them like pet names, always a smile on your faces when saying them

in conclusion, cutest throuple in the world

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years ago

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This is a weird question, but what would happen if Edward slept with or raped Bella in Twilight and got her pregnant with Renesmee? I know that this is even more unlikely than her getting pregnant in NW, but well we're in the land of answers to unlikely questions on this blog

Well anon, I guess we're going here.

Specifically anon is referencing this post.

My Usual Up Front Note

Yes, I know, we all know this is outlandish but I have to do this. Otherwise this blog descends into me writing fanfiction, and I have an AO3 and FFNet account for that.

Edward is many things and it's no great secret that I think he... makes very questionable decisions all the time and should not be romantically entangled with anybody.

However, Edward is not a rapist.

In the original post I go over my thoughts on this but essentially the crux of it is that Edward does have his moral standards. He will not have sex with a woman without a) being married to her first and b) without her explicit consent. Which, Bella does give against his advice in New Moon, fully aware of all the consequences that Edward himself is aware of (neither knew Renesmee was on the table then).

I do not think, at least without a lot of terrible things and huge catalysts happening first, that Edward would rape Bella.

I certainly don't think they'd be having sex as early as Twilight. Bella's not yet eighteen, Edward has no immediate plans to leave her (likely telling himself he'll leave after graduation when the separation is more natural), and he has no plans to marry her.

Sex isn't even on the table in Twilight.

Come on, Muffin, Try

But, per the ask, Edward and Bella do have sex in Twilight.

I have no idea how this would occur without a substantial amount of sex pollen. So, sex pollen it is.

Edward and Bella are in the meadow, it's the happiest day of Edward's life as Bella now fully understands what he is and doesn't run in terror. It's the happiest day of Bella's life as beautiful Edward has just shown her his innermost vulnerable self.

The stupid lamb is in love with the stupid lion. Huzzah.

Just then, wafting through the sky, is a blossoming alien plant life that for some unknown reason is also an intense aphrodisiac. This likely affects the entire town of Forks, but never mind them, we're focusing on Bella and Edward.

Bella looks at Edward, Edward looks at Bella, chemicals in their brain are churning. And as many a fanfiction protagonist has found out: resistance is futile. Edward and Bella succumb to the sex pollen in short order.

Edward probably crushes Bella in the act of sex and ends up sucking her blood out of the grass like a vacuum cleaner while naked. When he comes to, there's bits of Bella's pancreas on his face. He sobs in despair, for he is the world's greatest monster who has raped the love of his life to death and then devoured her corpse.

He goes to Volterra to kill himself. Aro's not sure what to say to any of this, Caius judges Carlisle by association.

However, we're not in that timeline per the ask.

Instead, somehow, despite both parties being not at home, Edward does not crush Bella in the midst of intercourse. Instead, as the sex pollen fades, they get to stare at each other in the aftermath.

They're in a meadow, naked, their clothes are torn into pieces, neither Bella nor Edward is a virgin and both of them can barely remember having sex.

Edward likely flees with suicide on his mind.

He may not have crushed Bella and devoured her corpse but he did just rape her. His inner demon took over and tarnished the most wonderful thing in all the world: he is no better than the monsters he once devoured.

He's likely planning his flight to Volterra before he even gets to the house. All he needs is a change of clothes and a credit card.

And luckily for him, since the entire town just succumbed to sex pollen (including the Cullens), Alice is probably in too much of a daze to see what's about to happen. Edward is able to find some pants, purchase a flight, and runs.

Bella is left naked and alone in the meadow. And very, very, sore.

Eventually, she has to hobble back to the street. She probably gets lost, as she did in canon. Eventually, a search party is probably sent out for Bella. One of the Cullens probably finds her first and... holy god she's looking full on rape victim.

No clothes, shivering naked and dangerously cold, covered in bruises.

Carlisle has not seen Edward all day, sex pollen descended on the town, this is painting a very bad picture of what just happened to Edward and Bella.

Bella tries to insist she's fine. She's not. She's taken to the hospital. And then the bomb drops. Bella easily confesses to Carlisle that she and Edward had sex. Bella has had sex with no one else. She's given a pregnancy test, it comes back positive.

Bella is pregnant with Edward's vampire child.

Carlisle... does not know how to tell Bella. Bella takes it very well surprisingly. By which she doesn't at all.

She does not want to be a teenage mother, that girl in that small town, at all. (She also would be devastated to be thought of as Edward Cullen's rape victim, but Bella's oblivious to that whole part of this)

She also has her whole life ahead of her and never wanted kids or to get married. She's seen how that shit turns out.

On the other hand, this is Edward's child, how can Bella take something so beautiful out of this world? Also, Renesmee's probably working overtime.

Bella tells Carlisle, right there in the hospital, that she's keeping the baby. Yes, she knows that she will have to fake her death, that she'll never see her family again. Yes, she's carrying a child that Carlisle's never seen before, he's not an OBGYN, and there's no telling what will happen. Yes, she's aware she could die. She's doing this.

Well. Carlisle's life just got ten times harder.

He fakes her death in the hospital somehow. Bella Swan dies of internal bleeding from the rape and is carted out of the hospital. Charlie, naturally, comes to arrest Edward Cullen (despite the entire town being affected by sex pollen all at once) but Carlisle truthfully notes that Edward isn't there. He hasn't seen Edward since the day before.

Charlie is also probably working overtime as the whole damn town was raped and does not have much time to look into this. Though Bella will be top priority case.

Charlie leaves (likely to go get a search warrant) and Carlisle gets to breathe a temporary sigh of relief. That sigh of relief is very temporary. Alice comes in in a flurry: Edward has fled to Volterra to kill himself.

Bella, who comes out of the cupboard she was hiding in during Charlie's visit, asks, "What's a Volterra?"

Carlisle calls Aro, tells him to stall Edward until Carlisle can come and also, Bella's pregnant with Edward's child.

Aro has no idea how to take that, and confesses what Carlisle guessed: no, he's never heard of such a thing before. Well, Aro will ask around and try to see if this (or sex pollen) have ever happened before and why doesn't Carlisle bring Bella with him when he comes to pick up Edward.

(Remember, this is before Eclipse, and as such all the shady nonsense has yet to go down.)

The whole family vamooses in the middle of the investigation, Dr. Carlisle Cullen won't be allowed t exist for a while. They head to Volterra, where Edward, indeed, has been stalled and he and Bella reunite.

Though, when I say "they", it's probably the Cullens sans Alice and Jasper. Alice wouldn't want to tempt Aro too much and, since Bella's carrying Renesmee, her visions are pretty much useless anyway. She'll see them later.

Edward is not nearly as thrilled as Bella that she is carrying his demon rape child. However, no one's listening to him and Bella insists she's not aborting the baby. Instead, Bella is heartbroken and tries to assure Edward that he's worthy of her and that it wasn't rape (it was) she had a great time! And she wants his demon baby!

Caius can't believe this soap opera is in his house.

Well, Edward probably won't try to kill himself before killing Renesmee, but then Renesmee's gift works overtime and he's convinced vampires have souls and is somehow able to forgive himself all this madness.

Edward marries Bella after she turns and gives birth, everyone loves Renesmee and they decide she's not a demon and is worthy of life, and they eventually leave Volterra great friends with the Volturi.

Sort of.

Weirdest decades of Caius' life.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #bella swan #anti edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #renesmee cullen #carlisle cullen #the cullens #aro #caius #the volturi #meta #headcanon #opinion

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years ago

Text

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

Tag List

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@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #sonny carisi #sonny carisi fanfiction

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aahsokaatano · 4 years ago

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King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic.

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and -

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even -

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution.

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

youtube

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

#thebisexualmandalorian #jesse #max answers #spn #naturally super #changing channels #im having some THOUGHTS yall

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lonelier-version-of-you · 3 years ago

Text

Thoughts on Long Lost that no one asked for, but I’m sharing them anyway

Or, In Which Annie Pretends To Be A Music Critic Because Why Not. I wrote these up as I listened to the album, so they’re my first impressions (except for Not Dead Yet, Mine Forever, and Long Lost, which I’d already heard).

The Moon Doesn’t Mind: An interesting little song, but there’s not much to say about it given it’s only 1 minute and 10 seconds long. I like it. I wish it was longer.

Rating: 7/10.

Favourite lyrics: N/A, because it’s too short to pick any, lol.

Mine Forever: This song was a banger when they put it out as a single, and it’s a banger now. I LOVE it. Songs about unhealthy, obsessive love are like, my favourite thing.

Also, not to bring my favourite unhealthy pairing of two fictional queer neurodivergent middle-aged doctors from a semi-obscure medical soap opera into this, but this song is still incredibly Johnrik vibes.

Rating: 10/10.

Favourite lyrics: “Love is strange, I can’t sleep without you / maybe in the grave I can dream about you / Everybody lies, but I’ll never doubt you / I don’t wanna die, but I can’t live without you”

(One Helluva Performer): A fun vocal interlude track. Not much to be said for it.

N/A for both rating and favourite lyrics.

Love Me Like You Used To: The moment the lyrics started, I immediately decided I loved this song. It’s great. If there’s any justice in the world, they’ll put it out as a single and it’ll go mainstream.

It’s also vaguely Johnrik vibes, though not as much as Mine Forever.

Rating: 8/10.

Favourite lyrics: “I’ve been lost before / and I’m lost again, I guess / but I never lost this feeling / or this pounding in my chest / I have travelled many miles, I don’t want to walk no more / every road and every highway led me right back to your door”

Meet Me In The City: The title immediately brings to mind Strange Trails’ ‘Meet Me In The Woods’, so I was very intrigued to hear what this song was going to be like. I like it. I think it’ll take me a few listens to fully appreciate it, but I like it.

I like the Strange Trails callback - “put on the dress you wore the night we met”.

And the reveal in the second verse that the narrator and his lover are actually having an affair was very clever. I love LH’s way of telling stories through their songs.

Rating: 7/10.

Favourite lyrics: “Forget the life you had and don’t look back / Get your courage up and drink this down / If our love is so wrong / tell me, why does it feel so right?”

This is getting a bit long now, so I’ll put the rest of my thoughts under the ‘keep reading’ button...

(Sing For Us Tonight): Such a brief interlude I have no opinion on it.

Long Lost: I wasn’t a big fan of this song when they released it as a single - I didn’t hate it, but it didn’t do much for me. In the context of the album, though, it’s fantastic! I can see why they picked it as the title track now.

Also, more Strange Trails callbacks - “out in the night all alone in the way out there...”

Rating: 9/10.

Favourite lyrics: “For a while I was held in the myth of the lost highway / In the spell of the night and the lights of the great white way”, and “Send me to the mountains / let me go free forever”.

Twenty Long Years: A melancholy song about the perils of addiction, and another example of Ben Schneider’s gift for storytelling. Just an absolutely brilliant song. I love it.

And I love the outro, with the crowd singing the song. It really adds to the atmosphere of the album.

Rating: 10/10.

Favourite lyrics: “I destroyed my health searching for myself / but there ain’t nothing there to find”, “I made a life out of chasing a ghost / twenty years takes its toll”.

Drops in the Lake: I thought from the title that this would be Johnrik vibes. I was not disappointed. I fucking love this song, oh my god. It’s perfect. It has me lost for words.

Rating: 10/10.

Favourite lyrics: Can I say the whole song? But especially “I go down to the edge of the lake / where I wait through the night for the dawn light to break / Memories of old crash like waves on the shore of my mind / And I pray that the stars will align / I just want us to be like we were long ago”, and “I look up at the uncaring sky / with a prayer on my lips and a tear in my eye”.

Where Did The Time Go: Another short but sweet song. It’s good.

Rating: 7/10.

Favourite lyrics: “May you laugh and sing your life full / may you learn the reasons why / may you live until you die”.

Not Dead Yet: This song got me hyped up for the album when they released it as a single in February, and I still love it now. It’s just so good, catchy, and danceable. I hope I get to go to another LH concert soon (I saw them in 2018, it was fantastic) just so I can rock out to this there. It’s one of those songs of theirs that feels downright magical.

Rating: 8/10. It’s just a damn good song.

Favourite lyrics: “There’s a stranger in my eyes again / I swear to God I don’t know him”.

(Deep Down Inside Ya): Another vocal interlude to add to the atmosphere of the album. It works for its purpose.

I Lied: I know they released this one as a single, but I’m only just now listening to it for the first time, because having already heard NDY, MF, and LL, I decided I could wait to hear this one. I think I made the right choice – it really works with the rest of the album. It’s a beautiful and bittersweet song, with some more great storytelling.

I love the idea of this song – a relationship where both partners are falling out of love, but they think the other one still loves them, until eventually one partner gives up and leaves, thinking they’ll be breaking the other’s heart… only for the other partner to be relieved the relationship is finally over. Good god, it’s like the definition of bittersweet. I love it. I’m a sucker for a good tragic love story.

Rating: 9.5/10.

Favourite lyrics: “I told you I’d be coming back again for you but I’m not / I’m going way out where the world will never find me / I made a claim that I would dance until we’re bones with my bride / I told you I would never leave you all alone, but I lied”

At Sea: Another shorter song. It’s pretty good, I like it. Gives me Lonesome Dreams vibes (as in the album, not necessarily the specific song). Indeed, you could easily read it as being from the POV of the narrator in Ghost of the Shore.

Rating: 7/10.

Favourite lyrics: N/A. It’s too short for me to pick any.

What Do It Mean: This sounds like a perfect mix of Lonesome Dreams, Strange Trails, and Vide Noir. It feels like a mix of all three albums, too, in terms of the themes. I am in love with it. It’s beautiful, and the lyrics resonate with me a lot. It might actually be my new favourite Lord Huron song ever – and that’s saying something, because it’s very hard for anything to overtake ‘Hurricane (Johnnie’s Theme)’, ‘Moonbeam’, or ‘The Balancer’s Eye’ for me.

Rating: 11/10.

Favourite lyrics: The entire first verse. “So much to say, but my words mean nothing / A life spent talking when my epitaph would do / Wasting my days with my mind on the future / And my past like a chain that won’t ever let me go / Where would I go, and would a lone soul miss me? / If I leave in the night, I’ll only be running / With the weight of the world at the tips of my fingers / A long lost soul in the wilderness alone”

Time’s Blur: LH’s longest song ever – and I’m pretty sure it’s their first wholly instrumental piece, too. Sonically, it reminds me a lot of the songs on Vide Noir. It’s a gorgeous piece of music. Gives me chills. The first few and last few minutes especially just feel downright otherworldly, and I mean that as a compliment.

Rating: 10/10.

Overall, I give Long Lost a 10/10. It’s a masterpiece, just like the rest of LH’s albums. Lord Huron are geniuses and I will die protecting their vision. (Kudos to you if you get what that’s a reference to, lol.)

#Lord Huron

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thickenmyblood · 4 years ago

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hi ! maybe i got it all wrong but you don't like plot? i studied creative writing for 2 years and plot has always been the most important part of a story imo. no shade i'm curious about what a story without a plot would look like ?

I have never read a story for its plot. I read and enjoy stories (books, fics, TV shows, movies) because of the characters.

Writers* are obsessed with plot because they believe it will give their work validation and credibility. They’re modern Pinocchios who beg The Plot Fairy to make them real writers. If a story has solid “conflict and resolution”, it’s a good story. It’s something worth publishing, reading, buying. Or is it?

Plot, to me, has always felt like an excuse to write about other things. I don’t even care about my own plots, least of all someone else’s. Cat’s eye by Margaret Atwood is like... probably one of the most plot-less novels I have ever read, and yet it’s my favorite book.

My first year at uni was really rough because I knew I wanted to write, and I knew more or less what I wanted to write about, but I couldn’t get started because I kept having problems with the plot of my stories. Then one day in the middle of my nine a.m Italian Literature class, my professor said: “Every character is a plot in and on itself.” And that changed my life. I later came to find out he was quoting F. Scott Fitzgerald, but that’s another story.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to like plot or to enjoy writing complicated, complex, mind-twisting fictional conflicts. I’m saying it’s not necessary. Is a 250-word drabble not a real story? Aren’t there 6-word stories out there? Hemingway’s, for example. Why are we so obsessed with convincing others that we are, in fact, real writers? Why is plot so important? Why do plots get shoved down our throats in creative writing courses?

If you like writing plot-centered stories, good. If you don’t, why torture yourself by writing them?

Here’s a quote by Moehringer (according to Google anyway) about this:

“People who read for plot, people who suck out the story like the cream filling in an Oreo, should stick to comic strips and soap operas. Every book worth a damn is about emotions and love and death and pain. It's about words. It's about a man dealing with life.”

*Not all writers, of course.

#anon #writing

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carols-review-box · 4 years ago

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My Thoughts on Ginny & Georgia: Season 1

These are my thoughts.

Right off the bat, I want to address that this is, by no means, a comprehensive review. I’m not even sure if it can be called a review. These are just my thoughts on the show, and it may or may not cover everything (in fact, it most certainly won’t cover everything), and I’ll try my best to write it out in an organized manner, but I can’t make promises. (Though, in all fairness, this is just a blog for my own entertainment, and I don’t expect anyone to actually read it.)

Now, moving on. Ginny & Georgia, season 1. Where do I begin?

First Impressions

I first encountered Ginny & Georgia on Netflix when the website decided to auto play its trailer while I was scrolling through it. I watched--almost begrudgingly-- a short, 1 minute clip of Ginny complaining to her teacher about how all the books on the curriculum were written by white men. While I understand where Ginny was coming from, and while I understand that a lot of high school literature is written by authors who sometimes are not representative of their audience, Ginny’s introduction just came off as obnoxious and annoying. I thought, “Imagine moving to a new school, and that’s the first thing you say to the teacher.” I rolled my eyes, wrote the show off as another try-hard feminist woke piece (or something like that), and didn’t think I’d watch it.

Well, at some point, I obviously decided to give the show a try. And by the middle of the first episode, I was actually really surprised when Ginny didn’t turn out to be insufferable in the beginning. I say in the beginning-- because her character really slides downhill past a certain point.

Plot

Throughout the entire show, I was probably a thousand times more interested in Georgia’s plot than Ginny’s.

It makes sense-- Ginny’s plot is... well, pretty much a generic teen soap opera that I’ve seen hundreds of times before. There are some unique themes to her story that I’ve rarely seen portrayed in other shows, like her experience as a biracial person, but other than that, it seems to be your run-of-the-mill drama.

On the other hand, Georgia’s plot is fresher. I haven’t personally seen any black-widow narratives (if Georgia could be called that), so I was intrigued and curious by how her story would play out. Not to mention, I liked Georgia’s love interests far better than Ginny’s, but maybe that’s just my personal taste.

In comparing these two plots, I do feel like the writers did Ginny wrong. Georgia is given an interesting storyline with a relevant backstory and plot points that actually make sense, whereas Ginny’s story is mediocre, we rarely get to see her side of the past, and half the stuff that goes down in her life is either unrealistic and overdramatized or it just makes no damn sense.

Characters

I could probably talk a great deal about the characters in this show. I have the most to say about Ginny (75% of it is criticism, honestly), so I’ll dedicate an entire section to her later. For now, I’ll start with these characters:

Georgia: Georgia, oh Georgia. To put it simply, Georgia is a psychopath hidden behind a large smile and a buzzing Southern accent. For the first 5 episodes, I was so fooled by her act (and her beauty) that I forgot she’s a literal murderer and most likely not a good human being. But I guess that’s, in part, what makes her very interesting to watch.

Hunter: I literally felt nothing but a mixture of boredom and pity whenever Hunter was on screen. For the first 8 episodes, he is just an extraordinarily boring character-- and his boringness is used as a justification by Ginny to cheat on him (that’s where the pity part comes in). I enjoyed how how he got more character in the ending episodes, and I could understand his struggles when he fought with Ginny (in that scene). But if he wasn’t dating Ginny, then he would’ve been a completely forgettable character.

Marcus: Marcus ALWAYS looks like he’s high. I don’t think there’s a single scene in the show where he doesn’t look like he just smoked something. He also has little personality, other than being the “bad boy.” I guess his hotness makes up for it, or something?

Maxine: While I enjoy Max overall, I think she can be really annoying, talkative and insensitive at times. Emphasis on the last part, because she does this irritating thing where she says something racist, and then asks if she just said something racist.

Abby: Out of the friend group, I feel like Abby is the most dramatic without being overdramatic. She experiences things that a regular teenager would. However, she can be a bad friend at times, and I don’t like how the characters gives her a pass on some questionable choices she makes.

Paul: I like Paul. It is a little bit hypocritical of me to say Paul is a good character when he basically has the same exact personality as Hunter, but I’m going to say it: He’s a good character.

Zion: Zion is smooth, and I enjoy his little wisdom bits with Ginny. But he was introduced too late into the show, and I can’t see him being a good fit for Georgia.

Joe: I love Joe. Just like some of the other characters, he is kind of plain. Kind of vanilla, daresay boring, but for some reason, I love him. Maybe it’s because of his adorable connection with Georgia. Maybe it’s because he offers some much-needed comedic relief in this overdramatized show. Maybe it’s because he has attractive qualities, like running a “successful” business, or maybe he’s just my type. For many, many episodes, I wanted Georgia to get together with Joe the most.

Austin: I forgot Austin existed for half the time. Like, I know the kid stabbed someone, but in the grand scheme of things, he’s just so forgettable.

Character: Ginny

Ginny. Ah, where do I even begin with Ginny?

First, I’m just going to say this: I know the writers intended to depict a biracial person’s experience in America through Ginny. I’m not biracial myself, and I don’t fully understand the issues that biracial people go through, so I’m not going to comment too much on how the authors managed to fuck up. I say “how” and not “if,” because a lot of biracial people have said that Ginny & Georgia is kind of a bad example of their life, and also because even I can see the problems with the show from a mile away.

Getting that out of the way, I’ll start with Ginny’s overall character.

One would think that a character who is depicted as-- for a lack of better words-- as “woke,”... as in, a character who is supposed to have better moral values than others (the definition comes from the word’s general connotative interpretation from leftist media), would be a good human being. But time and time again, we see that Ginny is everything but.

These are my biggest issues with Ginny’s character:

1) She acts like she’s better than everyone else, but also like she’s super oppressed. I know these two personality traits aren’t mutually exclusive, but they’re not a good combination either.

2) She thinks she’s the only person in the entire town who has real issues. Other characters confront her about this, and she eventually mellows down, but it’s astounding to me the amount of people she had to offend before she got the point.

3) She can be really ungrateful and rude towards her mom. I know Georgia is not a perfect mother-- not even close-- and she can be genuinely crazy at times, but Ginny is very rarely appreciative of her mom’s efforts.

4) Despite Ginny’s intelligence, she is not smart. She commits a bunch of dumb mistakes. Now, some of these can be attributed to her just being a teenager-- like having unprotected sex, sending nudes, being peer pressured into stealing, etc. Whereas other choices-- most notably cheating on her boyfriend-- are just a product of her shitty personality.

5) There is a really bad implication concerning Ginny’s views on race. I can probably talk a lot about race in this show, but true to my word, I’ll keep this short and talk about the one thing that really bothered me: Ginny ignores the black kids. There’s a line in the show where Ginny says she’s too white for the black folks and too black for the white folks... and she uses this to justify never having any friends or not fitting in. But when she gets to Wellsbury, she’s accepted by everyone, including black people, yet she chooses to ignore them. She only sits with them near the end of the show when her friend group kicks her out. And she looks miserable.

Ginny likes to complain a lot about her white side, but all things considered, I think she has an issue with her black side instead. I don’t know if this is representative of the biracial experience, but I imagine this can’t be a good thing to portray on screen.

I know it’s crazy of me to say this right after I just ripped Ginny apart. However, despite everything, I actually like Ginny as a character. Do I like her as much as I like Georgia or Joe? No, but she swings more good than bad. What can I say? She’s entertaining (in the same way that Cheryl from Riverdale is entertaining). She’s at least somewhat relatable, and I wouldn’t have watched the entire season if I truly found her to be unbearable.

That being said, Ginny does have a lot of potential to grow, and I sincerely hope the writers do her better in the next season.

Themes

*At some point in the future, I may add more to this section.

Family: Despite a significant portion of this show being terribly unrealistic, I appreciate the show’s overall depiction of family and separation. For one, the show represents families who aren’t stereotypically nuclear. Our main protagonists are a single mother-daughter combo. The Bakers next door have a deaf father and a mother who doesn’t fit into a perfect mold. There’s a biracial family (Hunter) who connects far more with their American side than their Taiwanese-- so much that Hunter and his sister don’t even speak a lick of Mandarin. The small details and nuances which are added into the show makes them far more representative of the general American population.

Conversations: This show gives conversations that are far overdue in media. While Hunter and Ginny’s fight scene is 98% pure cringe, the remaining 2% of it is an important reminder on being biracial (or a person of color) in America. Many of us struggle with our racial identity, and it’s unproductive to compare who has it worse.

Overall + Rating

To me, the first season of Ginny & Georgia is a 6.5/10. (Five being the average; so this would be a little better than average). While it showed a lot of potential at the beginning, the show eventually devolved to nothing more than a standard melodrama-- even on Georgia’s part. It tried hard to be another Gilmore Girls but ended up falling quite short. I am looking forward to its second season though; and hopefully, it’s much better than the first.

#shows #netflix #7 #ginny and georgia #ginny & georgia #ginny&georgia

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rosesvioletshardy · 5 years ago

Text

life as we know it - b.h. prologue

okay this is my first ben fic and i’m sorry if it’s not as good as others so yeah

also this is sort of based off of the movie with the same title but it’s a lot different when it comes to some of the chapters.

this is also going to start off in 2016 and i haven’t decided if it’s also going to take place in present time but it’s going to be built up over the years

*note: i am american and i don’t know that much about england or the uk in general so i will try my best and research and make sure things are accurate. i also imagined lennon as hayley williams and christian as robert pattinson

also another note i’m really sorry if it’s terrible i haven’t really written a fanfic in a long time and i’m trying to get back into it rather than just reading it

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 2029

warnings: none really

(not proofread)

February 2016

there were better things y/n could be doing on a saturday night which included watching netflix, drinking wine, and cleaning. this saturday night wasn't going to be that way for her. Now she was getting ready for a date her best friend lennon set her up on. lennon and y/n have been best friends since they can remember and they've had their ups and downs but now since they're adults they deal with it like adults should.

lennon worked as an elementary teacher and her boyfriend christian worked as a lawyer and a successful one too, at least he wasn't one of the stuck up ones and was just one just trying to help people out. when lennon found out y/n had broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years and spent months not going out and trying to find someone new or getting laid, she told christian because she thought christian's best friend ben, would be a great guy for her.

now here she was, in her bedroom of her tiny apartment getting ready for a blind date she wasn't entirely too excited for, but she knew she had to go out someday for the sake of lennon

"when i said that i owe you one, this isn't exactly what i meant you know" y/n said to lennon as she strapped on her heels before picking her phone back up and taking it off speaker

"yes, but when was the last time you went on a date, and i'm talking like a real date and one that didn't involve staying indoors and not getting laid?" lennon told y/n knowing that she was right since the last time she went on a date was the night she found out her ex cheated on her while she waited at a restaurant alone.

it's not like her ex was that bad, it's just he didn't put enough into their relationship in order to make any of them that happy. y/n knew her best friend was right and she didn't want to disappoint her since it was christian's friend lennon was setting her up with. ben wasn't a bad guy from what lennon gathered off of christian and y/n wasn't a bad girl. they both had great paying jobs, they're both good looking and they both love their best friends and their own families.

from what y/n gathered, ben was an actor and was soon to star in more things since leaving EastEnders. she never really watched the show because she didn’t understand the hype about the soap opera even though she had been living in the uk since she was 20. her grandparents on the other hand did enjoy it so she would see it every now and then before she moved out from their house.

"you know i hate it when you're right, right?'' y/n told her as she took another look in the mirror and checking her makeup making sure nothing is messed up too badly

"and also he's 45 minutes late. i thought you said he was punctual." she added as she looked at the clock in her living room

"okay those were christian's words not mine, and don't worry maybe he had something quick to do before coming over?" lennon said hoping that she was right

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know maybe it's just the nerves talking. I mean, I don't really know him as a person but I have seen a few of his stuff so hopefully he's like what people have described him as." y/n said taking one last look in the mirror before hearing her doorbell ring

"okay i think he's here. got to go, and i'll talk you later about how it goes" she said

"tell me everything and don't leave out a single thing. i mean it. love you!" lennon told her

"love you too."

as soon as y/n hung up, she took a deep breath and walked over to her door to see ben

"he's not bad looking in real life" she thought

but the only thing that was throwing her off was for the fact that he was an hour late and wearing jeans and a t-shirt. completely opposite of what she had on, which was a little fancier

"are you y/n? lennon's best friend and the one her and christian set up on a date with me?" ben asked as the two awkwardly stood there

"yeah i am. you must be ben then. it's nice to finally meet you." y/n asked trying hard not to blush

"am i late?" he then asked.

he really needed to ask you that wow

"only by an hour, but who's keeping time, i was just finishing up." she said

"oh okay."

the two stood there for a few more minutes before finally deciding to leave. y/n locked up her apartment before turning back to him and leaving. as the two walked through the complex to the parking lot, y/n decided to spark up a conversation

"so, how long have you known christian?" she curiously asked

"um, we've been friends since we were kids, 10, i think, after we got into a fight over the stupidest thing" ben laugh at the memory

"really? what was it? if you don't mind me asking."

"it was over the last copy of a cd at a record store. they almost ended up kicking us out until the stock guy brought out more copies." ben said smiling before reaching for the gate and opening it for y/n

"i've known lennon since we were 8 and we've been irreplaceable ever since. where's your car?" y/n asked looking around and not seeing one

"right here" ben told her pointing to the motorcycle

"oh" she said with a shock on her face

"here you go." ben said while handing her a helmet into her hands

"c'mon, it doesn't bite." he continued when he saw her still standing there

"i'm just not really dressed for 40 mile an hour-" y/n started as she tried to talk over the engine of the bike in front of her

"what" ben asked then cutting the engine off

"i'm not dressed for 40 mile an hour winds. i'm sorry" she said before continuing

"i don't think i could get my leg up over it in this dress. but my car is right there and it's new and i do love driving it." she finished pointing to the small red car "wow, um. okay." ben said completely shocked at the tiny car hoping it'll be able to fit the two adults

y/n unlocked her car and got right into the driver's seat, whilst ben opened the passengers door and got in, looking around and hoping that no one would see them. as he got in he immediately regretted not taking his car and taking his bike instead and now he was cramped into a tiny car he wasn't even sure was meant for more than one person

"okay. um, where are we going?" ben asked her

"i thought you said you were going to make reservations?" y/n asked as she looked into his green eyes

"oh" ben said as the color drained from face forgetting to do the one thing he said he was going to

"you didn't make them?" she questioned him confused

"i said that?" ben answered her knowing damn well he was supposed to do that

"it's fine. it's fine really. whatever" y/n said sitting there not knowing what to do now

"well we can go somewhere else. you can pick wherever you want." ben asked her thinking that it'll solve everything

"um, we can go to cafe five? my friend from culinary school actually the-" y/n began to talk before she got interrupted from ben's phone ringing

"i'm really sorry"

"no it's okay, go ahead. you can answer it if you-" she said before ben talked again

"no, no, it's fine. i'll let it go to voicemail." ben told her all attention going back to her

"like i was saying. my friend from culinary school is actually the-" y/n tried to say but ben's phone just kept ringing

"you know, just answer it. i can wait" she told him already getting annoyed but not showing it

ben whispers a slight "sorry" and pulled his phone out from his back pocket

"hey. well you know me. i'm always in the middle of something, always busy. 11? yeah, okay. i'll be there. wait actually, let's make it 10:30." ben said whispering the last part thinking that she wouldn't hear him

"okay. seen you later then. bye" ben finished and he hung up and put his phone back into his pocket. he turns to her and begins to talk again

"i'm really sorry about that. it's um, it's a sick friend. sorry." ben told her, completely lying his ass off

"you know, we...we don't have to do this"

"really?" ben questioned as she gave a slight chuckle

"okay." he continued as he started to unbuckle his seat belt and get ready to leave the car

"oh my god. are you serious?" y/n asked not believing what was happening

"let's be honest adults here. you knew the moment you saw me, you didn't like me."

"no, but our mutual friends set this up, so i think that we owe it to them to-" y/n said before ben interrupted her

"to what?" he asked

"spend a few hours faking small talk? look, the best case for us is that we get drunk and possibly hook up." he finished

"what kind of an asshole are you? whenever lennon and christian talked about you, they always made it seem like you were this super nice and sweet guy. but i guess i thought wrong." she said not believing him over what he's doing at the moment

"look it's a saturday night. i just want to have some fun before i end up going back to film something. i can go see my sick friend and you can go do whatever it is you like to do on a saturday night." ben told her hesitating on that last sentence about his "sick" friend

"you can go read a book? you look like you read books" ben continued

y/n looked at him and was shocked, mad that he would say something like that. "maybe all men are pieces of shit" she thought, except for christian because she saw the way he looked and loved lennon like she was the only person in the world

"okay. if you wanted to ensure that this wasn't gonna be a lousy night, here's a tip- don't show up an hour late, and don't take a booty call in front of me." she basically yelled at him

"she's sick" ben argued back

"oh, yes. were you going to heal her with your magic penis?" y/n asked tired of his shit already

"okay. fine. if you want to go out and have some dinner-"

"oh my god, i can't believe what i'm hearing right now. i'm not going to go out with you now! are you crazy?!" she said as she took the key out of the ignition and getting out of her car

"and get out of my car." she finished

"i have no idea what lennon and christian were thinking. i don't know what i was thinking."

"yeah me neither" ben agreed

as y/n was walking back to her apartment, and ben starting up his bike again, she called lennon

"y/n! that was quick, did everything go alright? are you going to get some?" lennon asked praying everything worked out alright

"no. he got a booty call right in front of me and was acting like a dick. the only way you are going to make this up for me is if you promise that i never have to see him again.

"you know that won't be possible. how about i come over to yours and we'll spend it together?"

"fine" she said

for ben on the other hand, he called christian and told him the exact same thing y//n told lennon, but little did they know it was never going to happen.

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darkblueboxs · 5 years ago

Text

The Manga is Way Better (Save me from the Fangirls)

Read here or on AO3

Inspired by an absurd GC conversation feat. @hope-coeurell and @karmacharmeleon18 about exy anime in the aftg universe.

Neil wakes up to eleven hundred new twitter followers overnight, which sets off alarm bells for a number of reasons.

He didn’t want the damn account, but his publicist insisted, and Carol rules Neil’s public life with an iron fist. He leaves her to post generically upbeat tweets on his behalf about the exy world, and in return he tries not to start any fights that she’ll have to finish. Emphasis on tries.

He assumes that the influx of followers is down to some vaguely rude retort going viral that he’d already forgotten making, but to his bafflement most of the new followers seem to have cartoon avatars and names that are more emoji than letter. He clicks on one profile out of curiosity, understands about one word in five, and promptly loses interest.

He puts it down to the ramp up in interest caused by the approaching world cup and shuts off his phone. The muggy SoCal heat makes Neil drowsier than he usually would be, but the sound of Andrew brewing coffee in the kitchen is enough to drag Neil from bed. They’re only on the western coast for a few days while the national team attends a few mandatory press junkets and board meetings, and Neil would resent it more if not for the opportunity to spend time with his family.

They’re actually scheduled for a day off, but Kevin pulled every contact he had with the Trojans to bag use of their court for the day, and he’s dragging every player he can in with him. Luckily for them, it’s the off-season, so the only players they’re booting from their own pitch are the ones with nothing better to do on their break.

The fox’s group chat is buzzing regularly on the ride to the stadium, but Neil ignores it for the city sights rolling by his window. Neither he nor Andrew have visited this part of California before; it leaves a far better impression than their previous experiences with the state.

It’s when he arrives in the locker room to find Matt and a few other players huddled around a phone screen that the alarm bells return.

Matt looks up, takes one look at Neil, and bursts out laughing. “Hey, look, it’s Niall Jamestown.”

Neil gives him a deliberately blank look as he shoulders his bag from his shoulder. “Morning, Matt.”

“You’ve watched this, right? Tell me you’ve watched this.”

Neil glances to Andrew, who seems to know as much as Neil does, before replying. “No?”

“Oh my God,” says Matt, and shoves the phone in Neil’s face.

The sight he is met with is baffling to say the least; a bunch of cartoon boys with brightly coloured hair yelling at each other in Japanese the middle of an exy court.

“Japanese soap opera?” Neil guesses.

“Just wait.”

Neil watches with disinterest. The doors to the cartoon court bang open and the lights flicker as the music crescendos, building up to some dramatic reveal.

A kid with red hair, blue eyes and a scarred face steps into frame. “I’m Niall Jamestown,” say the subtitles as the character slings a racquet across his shoulders. “And I’m going to beat you all!” Then the screen goes black.

Neil is genuinely speechless.

“You’re an anime character, Neil!” Matt beams. “How cool is that?”

Neil looks back to his cartoon doppelganger. “What the fuck is anime?”

Neil is acutely aware of when the next episode comes out, because his twitter following jumps wildly again. He has a lot of new messages, although none of them seem to really be directed at him.

“Do not fucking talk to me about fucking King of the Court,” Kevin snaps as they toss a ball back and forth.

“It’s a show about exy, isn’t it?” Neil says. “Why wouldn’t you like it?”

“It’s thinly-veiled Raven propaganda that shows no respect for actual exy rules. They have a distant cousin of the Moriyamas on the creative team because they figured it might be a good merchandising opportunity, but thankfully the manga never really took off in America.” Kevin’s expression darkens. “The new TV adaptation, on the other hand…”

When Neil continues to look at him blankly, Kevin rolls his eyes and explains, “A Manga is like a comic book.”

Neil nearly drops the ball. “I’m a comic book character, too?”

“No, they’ve clearly changed the character’s name and appearance in the remake to make him look like you. They’re going to make you look like an asshole.”

Neil thought he was used to being on television; it turns out he was sorely mistaken. He shrugs. “I’m pretty good at doing that by myself already.”

Kevin throws the next ball to him harder than necessary. It whistles past Neil’s right ear; an inch to the side and it would have been a black eye. The whack of a racket against the ground clatters from the other side of the court, Andrew’s idea of a friendly warning. “Take this seriously.”

“It’s a cartoon, Kevin, how on earth do I take it seriously?”

“I wasn’t exaggerating when I said it was Raven propaganda,” Kevin snaps. “The main team, the protagonist, they’re very…” Kevin trails off. “Just go look it up when you get home.”

Neil tries ten minutes of the first episode, but quickly loses interest when he realises there’s more heartfelt speeches about friendship and teamwork than there is actual playing. Kevin’s right, though; the main team, Iwatobi Crows, are a clear stand-in for the Ravens with their black-on-red uniforms. They’re supposed to be the underdog team, which is hilarious, but worst of all is their captain, a charismatic, friendly, dark-haired teenager with a conspicuous beauty-spot on his left cheekbone.

Neil retches quietly before throwing his laptop aside and vowing never to think about the show again.

“People on twitter are yelling at me.” Neil frowns. “A lot.”

“This is not news,” Andrew says without raising his eyes from his book.

“This one says I ‘hurt her precious baby.’” Neil scrolls. “They could be a little more creative with their death threats.”

Death threats is enough to pique Andrew’s interest. He takes Neil’s phone and scrolls for several minutes, the crease between his eyebrows deepening slightly. He hands the phone back. “Your cartoon alter-ego is insulting their precious king.”

Neil snorts. He plays a clip beneath one of the tweets showing Neil’s character and Riko’s in a heated argument. It’s melodramatic and darkly lit, and fake-Neil’s smile is wide and sharp as he tells Riko his team will never amount to anything. “You are destined for failure,” Niall snarls. “Pathetic.”

It isn’t meant to be funny; it’s meant to be cruel and devastating, but Neil laughs. “This guy is growing on me.”

Andrew shakes his head as he returns to his book. “Don’t come crying to me when the fangirls break your face.”

Neil snorts. “I’d trust you to patch me up again after.”

Andrew raises an eyebrow but doesn’t deny it.

“One of my co-workers has asked me for your autograph,” Nicky says, his voice cracking and jumping across the videocall. “Think you can get a poster to me before Christmas?”

“Easily. I can get a hold of some national team merch as well if she-”

Nicky cuts him off with a snort. “No, it’s cool, she isn’t really into exy.”

At the kitchen counter behind him, Andrew’s knife stalls over the carrots. They share a baffled look.

“What?” says Neil eventually.

“Oh, yeah, she doesn’t follow exy or anything, she’s just really into that show, what’s it called? King of the Castle?”

“Something like that.” Neil says, keeping his expression remarkably straight. “You’ve heard about it?”

“Are you kidding me? The whole anime world is talking about it. Not that I’m deep in the weeb community or anything, I just followed a few people for posting those cute yaoi ice-skating gifs a while back and they’ve been talking about nothing else in months.”

Neil understands some of those words. “Okay.”

“Say, Neil, do you know what a ship is?”

“Like, a boat?”

Andrew reaches past Neil and hits the end call button. “Not today.”

Neil nods, feeling as though he has just been saved from something unfathomably vast and dangerous. “Not today.”

Robin sends a picture of the photo wall in the Foxhole Court’s lounge. Someone has put up a poster of Anime Neil in one corner. It’s life-size, and he glares across the room with overshiny blue eyes, a leather jacket thrown over his shoulder as he scowls. She accompanies the message with a simple smiley emoji, but Neil isn’t fooled.

Not funny, Neil texts back.

He’s taller than you, she replies.

“What are you going to do about it?” Kevin says on one of their phone calls. “You can’t let them burn your reputation to the ground like this. They’re portraying you as a mouthy bad-boy who listens to no one and breaks all the rules.”

“Just like real life, then,” Andrew says loudly enough that Kevin can hear.

“Kevin, some kid’s cartoon isn’t going to affect my exy career,” Neil says, scooping Sir onto his lap as he talks. “It’s about how well I play.”

“It’s about image, Neil. Your publicist will agree. Has she considered suing for defamation? I know some good lawyers if-”

“She’s looked into it.” Neil had watched Carol’s growing exasperation with detached amusement; she was, as far as he knew, a good person, but watching her having a meltdown over a cartoon caricature had been mildly entertaining regardless. Neil just couldn’t bring himself to see what all the fuss was about. “They’ve changed my name, so it’s a no-go.”

Kevin makes an exaggeratedly pained sound. Neil doesn’t have to picture his expression; he knows all too well what Kevin’s disappointed face looks like.

“You’re taking this heavily,” says Neil. Then, “Did make you into a character too or something-?”

Kevin hangs up.

“Neil, how does it feel knowing my husband loves you more than he does his own wife?”

“This isn’t news.” Neil smiles as Dan laughs. He can see moving boxes and sports equipment behind her as she spins, showing Neil through the camera their new living room.

“Have you seen the monstrosity? Has he shown you? He said he wanted to bring it on our next fox holiday, but I said no, there’s no way I’m sitting next to that thing in the truck for six hours, besides, it’s not even that funny.” The amused tilt to her voice says otherwise.

“I’m not sure I want to know.”

“If I have to be traumatised then so do you.” Dan leads into her bedroom, and for a moment the picture turns dark and grainy. The lights flick on, and on the bed Neil sees-

“Dan, what the fuck is that?”

“Randy came across it online and thought it would be funny.” Dan sighs.

“What is it?”

“Haven’t you seen a body pillow before?”

Neil screws up his nose, leaning into his screen to get a better look despite himself. “What is he wearing?”

Dan hesitates. “Swimming costume?”

“It’s a show about exy.”

“Yeah, I got nothing. So I’m guessing you don’t want us to bring it on holiday?”

“Burn it. Please.”

“Good idea.” Dan pauses. “Unless you think Andrew would-”

“No. He would not.”

Neil’s anime persona gets a girlfriend, which Neil discovers only when he opens Twitter (an action which becomes more fraught with danger with every passing day) to see art of them having sex.

He blocks several hundred more followers (he’s gaining more than he can possibly hope to block every day, but it’s for the sense of control more than anything) before throwing his phone aside and climbing back into bed.

“I have a girlfriend,” Neil announces. Andrew’s head appears from beneath the covers to blink at him blearily, dislodging one of the cats as he does so.

“An unexpected development,” he says eventually.

“Anime me. He has a girlfriend.”

“Jealous?”

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.” Neil nuzzles under the covers and waits for Andrew’s go-ahead before shifting in against his side.

“Does it upset you?”

“No, it’s just weird.” Neil stares up at the ceiling for several seconds before meeting Andrew’s eyes. “Well, it’s not the show, really. It’s the people.”

Andrew doesn’t reply, but his gaze remains fixed on Neil, encouraging him to keep talking.

“I’m just not used to being seen like that. Like, the people who are yelling at me because they don’t like the character I kind of get. It’s more the really flirty ones. Like, why? They don’t know me.”

“The flirty ones?”

“Just a lot of people saying really sexual things. I keep blocking them, it’s fine.”

Neil thinks he has inadvertently conditioned Andrew to tense up at the word fine; he has long tried to erase it from his vocabulary, but it still slips through now and again.

Andrew’s chest presses against his as he leans over Neil to the bedside table. For a moment Neil’s mind stops working, just thinking about skin against skin. When Andrew leans back, Neil’s phone is in his hand.

“Don’t bother looking, honestly, it isn’t worth it,” Neil says as Andrew taps several buttons.

“I’m not,” says Andrew. When he hands back the phone, the screen says account set to private.

“Carol isn’t going to like that.”

“Carol can take it up with me.”

Neil smiles. “Jealous?”

“No,” says Andrew flatly, and Neil realises that, oh, this isn’t about him.

After several minutes on the phone with Andrew, Carol concedes that keeping a low profile might not be the worst thing in the world.

“Neil, it’s bad,” Kevin says before he’s even through the door. “How are you not keeping up with this?”

“Digital detox,” Neil answers as Kevin pushes past. “You should try it. Great for the skin.”

Kevin doesn’t dignify him with a response. “Your character broke Riko’s - I mean, Ryuu’s – arm. Mid-match. You can’t stand for this.”

“Are you watching this show every week?”

“I have to be ahead of the backlash,” Kevin says emphatically. He throws himself down on the couch, before standing up again, clearly too agitated to stay still. “You don’t understand, Neil. This could destroy you in the Japanese markets before you’ve even made it big in America. You have to-”

“What did they do to you, Kevin?” Neil interrupts. Kevin stops short, mouth open mid-sentence. “Because this clearly isn’t about me.”

Kevin looks away. “His name was Kev. The bumbling, obsessive, star-struck idiot that messed up the whole team’s dynamic, injured himself by pushing himself too hard and crashed out into nothing.”

Neil sobers. “Everything they told you you were.”

Kevin doesn’t look up.

“Kev? They didn’t even bother to change your name?”

Kevin shrugged. “Why bother? I couldn’t sue them. I was under the Moriyama’s thumb, remember?”

Neil stares at him. “You aren’t anymore.”

“I’m-” Kevin starts, stops, starts again. “Oh.”

“You said you knew some good lawyers, right?”

A smile breaks across Kevin’s face. “Right.”

King of the Court does not get renewed for a second season. Several of the foxes send Neil messages of faux commiseration, which he responds to with equal sarcasm.

A few months later, after the exy world cup medals are hanging securely over Neil and Andrew’s dresser, the same studio releases a promo for a new show. It’s nothing like their last exy anime save for the mutual sport. The characters are all decidedly fictional, neither looking nor sounding like any prominent figures in the exy world, and the protagonist’s strip doesn’t share the colours of any big USA teams.

The new anime looks as cheesy and melodramatic as the last, although Neil likes the name a lot more this time.

All for the Game. That’s a title he can get behind.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!

#aftg #tfc #andreil #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #my fic

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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How All in the Family Changed the TV Landscape

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All in the Family is roundly considered a touchstone for television achievement now, but when it debuted 50 years ago, even the network carrying it hoped it would fizzle quickly and unnoticed. CBS put an army of operators at phone lines expecting a barrage of complaints from offended middle Americans demanding its cancellation. Those calls didn’t come. What came was a deluge of support from people hoping this mid-season replacement was a permanent addition to the network’s lineup. The premiere episode contained a considerable list of “television firsts.” One of these rarities continues to remain scarce on network TV: creator Norman Lear trusted the intelligence of the viewing audience. To celebrate All in the Family’s 50th anniversary, we look back at its journey from conception to broadcast, and how it continues to influence and inform entertainment and society today.

Actor Carroll O’Connor, who was a large part of the creative process of the series, consistently maintains he took the now-iconic role of Archie Bunker because All in the Family was a satire, not a sitcom. It was funny, but it wasn’t a lampoon. It was grounded in the most serious of realities, more than the generation gap which it openly showcased, but in the schism between progressive and conservative thinking. The divide goes beyond party, and is not delineated by age, wealth, or even class. The Bunkers were working class. The middle-aged bigot chomping on the cigar was played by an outspoken liberal who took the art of acting very seriously. The audience cared deeply, and laughed loudly, because they were never pandered to. They were as respected as the authenticity of the series characters’ parodies.

Even the laughs were genuine. All in the Family was the first major American series to be videotaped in front of a live audience. There was never a canned laugh added, even in the last season when reactions were captured by an audience viewing pre-taped episodes. Up to this time, sitcoms were taped without audiences in single-camera format and the laugh track was added later. Mary Tyler Moore shot live on film, but videotape helped give All in the Family the look of early live television, like the original live broadcasts of The Honeymooners. Lear wanted to shoot the series in black and white, the same as the British series, Till Death Us Do Part, it was based on. He settled for keeping the soundstage neutral, implying the sepia tones of an old family photograph album. The Astoria, Queens, row house living room was supposed to look comfortable but worn, old-fashioned and retrograde, mirroring Archie’s attitudes: A displaced white hourly wage earner left behind by the social upheavals of the 1960s and 1970s.

“I think they invented good weather around 1940.”

American sitcoms began shortly after World War II, and primarily focused on the upper-middle class white families of Father Knows Best, Leave It to Beaver, and The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. I Love Lucy’s Ricky Ricardo, played by Cuban-American Desi Arnaz, ran a successful nightclub. The Honeymooners was a standout because Jackie Gleason’s Ralph Kramden was a bus driver from Bensonhurst (the actual address on that show, 328 Chauncey Street, is in the Bedford–Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn). American TV had little use for the working class until the 1970s. They’d only paid frightened lip service to the fights for civil rights and the women’s liberation movements, and when the postwar economy had to be divided to meet with more equalized opportunities there was no one to break it down in easy terms. The charitable and likable Flying Nun didn’t have the answer hidden under her cornette. It wasn’t even on the docket in Nancy, a 1970 sitcom about a first daughter. The first working family on TV competing in the new job market was the Bunkers, and they had something to say about the new competition.

Social commentary wasn’t new on television. Shows like The Twilight Zone and Star Trek routinely explored contemporary issues, including racism, corporate greed, and the military action in Vietnam, through the lens of fantasy and science fiction. The war and other unrest were coming into the people’s living rooms every night on the evening news. The times they were a-changing, but television answered to sponsors who feared offending consumers.

Ah, but British TV, that’s where the action was. Lear read about a show called Till Death Us Do Part, a BBC1 television sitcom that aired from 1965 to 1975. Created by Johnny Speight, the show set its sights on a working-class East End family, spoofing the relationship between reactionary white head of the house Alf Garnett (Warren Mitchell), his wife Else (Dandy Nichols), daughter Rita (Una Stubbs), and her husband Mike Rawlins (Anthony Booth), a socialist from Liverpool. Lear recognized the relationship he had with his own father between the lines.

CBS wanted to buy the rights to the British show as a star vehicle for Gleason, Lear beat out CBS for the rights and personalized it. One of the reasons All in the Family works so well is because Lear wasn’t just putting a representative American family on the screen, he was putting his own family up there.

“If It’s Too Hot in The Kitchen, Stay Away from The Cook.”

Archie Bunker dubbed his son-in-law, Michael Stivic, played by Rob Reiner, a “Meathead, dead from the neck up.” This was the same dubious endearment Lear’s father Herman called him. The same man who routinely commanded Lear’s mother to “stifle herself.” Lear’s mother accused her husband, a “rascal” who was sent to jail for selling fake bonds of being “the laziest white man I ever saw,” according to his memoir Even This I Get to Experience All three lines made it into all three of the pilots taped for All In the Family. When Lear’s father got out of prison after a three-year stretch, the young budding writer sat through constant, heated, family discussions. “I used to sit at the kitchen table and I would score their arguments,” Lear remembers in his memoir. “I would give her points for this, him points for that, as a way of coping with it.”

All in the Family, season 1, episode 1, provides an almost greatest hits package of these terse and tense exchanges, which also taught Lear not to back away from the fray. He served as a radio operator and gunner in the U.S. Air Force during World War II, earning an Air Medal with four Oak Leaf Clusters after flying 52 combat missions, and being among the crew members featured in the books Crew Umbriag and 772nd Bomb Squadron: The Men, The Memories. Lear partnered with Ed Simmons to write sketches for Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin’s first five appearances on the Colgate Comedy Hour in 1950. They remained as the head writers for three years. They also wrote for The Ford Star Revue, The George Gobel Show, and the comedy team Rowan and Martin, who would later headline Laugh-In.

Lear went solo to write opening monologues for The Tennessee Ernie Ford Show, and produce NBC’s sitcom The Martha Raye Show, before creating his first series in 1959, the western The Deputy, which starred Henry Fonda. To get Frank Sinatra to read Lear’s screenplay for the 1963 film Come Blow Your Horn, Lear went on a protracted aerial assault. Over the course of weeks, he had the script delivered while planes with banners flew over Sinatra’s home, or accompanied by a toy brass band or a gaggle of hens. Lear even assembled a “reading den” in Ol’ Blue Eyes’ driveway, complete with smoking jacket, an ashtray and a pipe, an easy chair, ottoman, lamp, and the Jackie Gleason Music to Read By album playing on a portable phonograph. After weeks of missed opportunities, Lear remembers Sinatra finally read the script and “bawled the shit out of me for not getting it to him sooner.”

The creative perseverance Lear showed just to get the right person for the right part is indicative of the lengths Lear would go for creative excellence. He would continue to fight for artistic integrity, transforming prime time comedy with shows like Good Times, One Day at a Time, and the first late-night soap opera Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. He brought legendary blue comedian Redd Foxx into homes with Sanford and Son, also based on a British sitcom, Steptoe and Son, which starred Harry H. Corbett and Wilfrid Brambell, best known for playing Paul McCartney’s grand-dad in A Hard Day’s Night. But before he could do these, and the successful and progressive All in the Family spinoffs The Jeffersons and Maude, he had to face battles, big and small, over the reluctantly changing face of television.

“Patience is a Virgin”

After Lear beat CBS to the rights to adapt Till Death Us Do Part he offered the show to ABC. When it was being developed for the television studio, the family in the original pilot were named the Justices, and the series was titled “Justice for All,” according to a 1991 “All in the Family 20th Anniversary Special.” They considered future Happy Days dad Tom Bosley, and acclaimed character actor Jack Warden for the lead part, before offering the role to Mickey Rooney. According to Even This I Get to Experience, Lear’s pitch to the veteran actor got to the words “You play a bigot” before Rooney stopped him. “Norm, they’re going to kill you, shoot you dead in the streets,” the Hollywood icon warned, asking if Lear might have a series about a blind detective with a big dog somewhere in the works.

Taped in New York on Sept. 3, 1968, the first pilot starred O’Connor and Jean Stapleton as Archie and Edith Justice. Stapleton, a stage-trained character actor who first worked as a stock player in 1941, was a consistent supporting player for playwright Horton Foote. Stapleton originated the role of Mrs. Strakosh in the 1964 Broadway production of Funny Girl, which starred Barbra Streisand. Lear considered her after seeing her performance in Damn Yankees. She’d made guest appearances on TV series like Dr. Kildare and The Defenders.

O’Connor was born in Manhattan but grew up in Queens, the same borough as the Bunker household with the external living room window which wasn’t visible from the interior. O’Connor acted steadily in theaters in Dublin, Ireland, and New York until director Burgess Meredith, assisted by The Addams Family’s John Astin, cast him in the Broadway adaptation of James Joyce’s novel Ulysses. O’Connor had roles in major motion pictures, including Lonely Are the Brave (1962), Cleopatra (1963), Point Blank (1967), The Devil’s Brigade (1968), Death of a Gunfighter (1969), Marlowe (1969), and Kelly’s Heroes (1970). O’Connor appeared on television series like Gunsmoke, Bonanza, The Fugitive, The Wild Wild West, The Outer Limits, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., I Spy, That Girl, and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. He’d guest starred as a villain in a season 1 episode of Mission Impossible, and was up for the parts the Skipper on Gilligan’s Island and Dr. Smith on Lost in Space.

The first pilot also starred Kelly Jean Peters as Gloria and Tim McIntire as her husband Richard. ABC liked it enough to fund a second pilot, “Those Were the Days,” which shot in Los Angeles on Feb. 10, 1969. Richard was played by Chip Oliver, and Gloria Justice was played by Candice Azzara, who would go on to play Rodney Dangerfield’s wife in Easy Money, and make numerous, memorable guest appearances on Barney Miller. D’Urville Martin played Lionel Jefferson in both pilots. ABC cancelled it after one episode, worried about a show with a foul-mouthed, bigoted character as the lead.

CBS, which was trying to veer away from rural shows like Mayberry R.F.D., The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction and Green Acres, bought the rights to the urban comedy and renamed it All in the Family. When Gleason’s contract to CBS ran out, Lear was allowed to keep O’Connor on as the main character.

Sally Struthers was one of the young actors featured in Five Easy Pieces, the 1970 counterculture classic starring Jack Nicholson. She’d also recently finished shooting a memorable part in the 1972 Steve McQueen hit The Getaway. Struthers had just been fired from The Tim Conway Comedy Hour because executives thought she made the show look cheap, which was her job. The premise of the show was it was so low-budget it could only afford one musician, who had to hum the theme song because they couldn’t afford an instrument, and one dancer, as opposed to a line of dancers like they had on The Jackie Gleason Show. Lear noticed her as a dancer on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, a counterculture variety show which Rob Reiner wrote for with Steve Martin as a writing partner. Reiner’s then-fiancée, the director Penny Marshall, was also up for the role of Gloria, but in an interview for The Television Academy, Reiner recalls that, while Marshall could pass as Stapleton’s daughter, Struthers was obviously the one who looked like Archie’s “little girl.”

Reiner, the son of comedy legend Carl Reiner, was discovered in a guest acting role on the Andy Griffith vehicle series Headmaster, a show he wrote for, but had also played bit roles in Batman, The Andy Griffith Show, Room 222, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C., The Beverly Hillbillies and The Odd Couple. Reportedly, Richard Dreyfuss campaigned for the role of Michael, and Harrison Ford turned it down. Mike Evans was cast as Lionel Jefferson, the Bunkers’ young Black next-door neighbor who sugar-coated nonviolent protests with subtle and subversive twists on “giving people what they want.”

“We’re just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug.”

The very first episode tackled multiple issues right away. It discussed atheism, with Michael and Gloria explaining they have found no evidence of god. The family dissects affirmative action, with Archie asserting everyone has an equal chance to advance if they “hustle for it like I done.” He says he didn’t have millions of people marching for him to get his job, like Black Americans. “His uncle got it for him,” Edith explains, with an off-the-cuff delivery exemplifying why Stapleton is one of the all-time great comic character actors. The family argues socialism, anti-Semitism, sausage links and sausage patties. The generation gap widens as Archie wonders why men’s hair is now down to there, while Gloria’s skirt got so high “all the mystery disappears” when she sits down.

All in the Family would continue to deal with taboo topics like the gay rights movement, divorce, breast cancer, and rape. Future episodes would question why presidential campaign funds are unequal, how tax breaks for corporations kill the middle class, and weigh the personal price of serving in an unpopular war as opposed to dodging the draft. When Archie goes to a female doctor for emergency surgery a few seasons in, All in the Family points out she is most certainly paid less than a male doctor. When skyjackings were a persistent domestic threat in the 1970s, Archie suggested airlines should “arm the passengers.” It is very prescient of the NRA’s suggestion of arming teachers to combat school shootings.

But the first showdown between Lear and the network was fought for the sexual revolution. The first episode’s action begins when Edith and Archie come home early from church and interrupt Michael and Gloria as they’re about to take advantage of having the house to themselves. Gloria’s got her legs wrapped around Michael as he is walking them toward the stairs, and the bed. “At 11:10 on a Sunday,” Archie wants to know as he makes himself known. According to Lear’s memoir, CBS President William Paley objected, saying the line suggested sex. “And the network wants that out even though they’re married–I mean, it was plain silly,” he writes. “My script could have lived without the line, but somehow I understood that if I give on that moment, I’m going to give on silly things forever. So, I had to have that showdown.”

The standoff continued until 25 minutes before air time. CBS broadcast the episode, but put a disclaimer before the opening credits rolled, which Reiner later described as saying “Nothing you’re about to see has anything that we want to have anything to do with. As far as we’re concerned, if you don’t watch the next half hour, it’s okay with us.” Lear knew, with what he was doing, this was going to be the first of many battles, because this was the first show of its kind. Television families didn’t even flush toilets, much less bring unmentionables to the table. “The biggest problem a family might face would have been that the roast was ruined when the boss was coming over to dinner,” Lear writes. “There were no women or their problems in American life on television. There were no health issues. There were no abortions. There were no economic problems. The worst thing that could happen was the roast would be ruined. I realized that was a giant statement — that we weren’t making any statements.”

“What I say ain’t got nothing to do with what I think.”

Politicians and pundits worried about how the series might affect racial relations. The country had experienced inner city riots, battle lines were drawn over school desegregation, busing children to schools was met with violent resistance. Did All In the Family undermine bigotry or reinforce racism? Were people laughing at Archie or with him? Was it okay to like Archie more than Mike?

Lear believed humor would be cathartic, eroding bigotry. Bigots found a relief valve. Lear always insisted Archie was a satirically exaggerated parody to make racism and sexism look foolish. Liberals protested the character came across as a “loveable bigot,” because satire only works if the audience is in on the joke. Bigoted viewers didn’t see the show as satire. They identified with Archie and saw nothing wrong with ethnic slurs. Mike and Gloria come off like preachy, bleeding-heart liberal, hippie leeches. Lionel handled Archie better than Michael did.

O’Connor humanized Archie as an old-fashioned guy trying to make sense of a rapidly changing world. Bunker gave bigotry a human face and, because he hated everyone, he was written off as an “equal-opportunity bigot.” Not quite a defensible title. Archie was the most liked character on the show, and the most disliked. Most people saw him as a likable loser, so identifiable he was able to change attitudes. In a 1972 interview, O’Connor explained white fans would “tell me, ‘Archie was my father; Archie was my uncle.’ It is always was, was, was. It’s not now. I have an impression that most white people are, in some halting way, trying to reach out, or they’re thinking about it.” It sometimes worked against O’Connor the activist, however. When he backed New York Mayor John Lindsay’s 1972 anti-war nomination for the Democratic presidential nomination, Archie Bunker’s shadow distanced progressives.

Archie was relatable beyond his bigotry. He spoke to the anxieties of working- and middle-class families. Archie was a dock worker in the Corona section of Queens, who had to drive a cab as a second job, with little hope of upward mobility. He didn’t get political correctness. The character’s ideological quips were transformed into the bestselling paperback mock manifesto The Wit and Wisdom of Archie Bunker. White conservative viewers bought “Archie for President” buttons.

“If you call me Cute one more time, I swear I’ll open a vein.”

As cannot be overstated, All in the Family set many precedents, both socially and artistically. The Bunker family is an icon on many levels, Archie and Edith’s chairs are at the Smithsonian. But Archie Bunker is also the Mother Courage of TV. The antithesis of the bland sitcom characters of the time, he also wasn’t the character we hated to love, or loved to hate. Archie was the first character we weren’t supposed to like, but couldn’t help it. This phenomenon continues. The next TV character to take on the iconic mantle was probably Louis De Palma on Taxi. Audiences should have wanted to take a lug wrench to his head, but Danny De Vito brought such a diverse range of rage and vulnerability to that part it was named TV Guide’s most beloved character for years.

We shouldn’t like Walter White, especially when he doffs that pretentious Heisenberg hat, on Breaking Bad. And let’s face it, Slipping Jimmy on Better Call Saul isn’t really the kind of guy you want to leave alone in your living room while you grab a drink. Families across the United States and abroad sat down to an Italian-style family dinner with Tony Soprano and The Sopranos every Sunday night. But on Monday mornings, most of us would have ducked him, especially if we owed him money. Even the advanced model of the Terminator guy was scared of Tony.

The best example of this is South Park’s Eric Cartman. While we don’t know who his father is on the series, he’s got Bunker DNA all over him. He’s even gotten into squabbles with Sally Struthers and Rob Reiner. This wasn’t lost on Lear, who contacted creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone to say he loved the show in 2003. Lear wound up writing for South Park’s seventh season. “They invited me to a party and we’re partying,” Lear told USA Today at the time. “There’s no way to overstate the kick of being welcomed by this group.”

“I hate entertainment. Entertainment is a thing of the past, now we got television.”

Television can educate as much as it wants to entertain, and All in the Family taught the viewing audience a whole new vocabulary. The casual epithets thrown on the show were unheard of in broadcast programming, no matter how commonplace they might have been in the homes of the people watching. When Sammy Davis Jr. comes to Bunker house in the first season, every ethnic and racial slur ever thrown is exchanged. In another first season episode, and both the unaired pilots, Archie breaks down the curse word “Goddamn.” But a large segment of the more socially conservative, and religious, audience thought All in the Family said whatever they wanted just because they could get away with it.

All in the Family debuted to low viewership, but rose to be ranked number one in the Nielsen ratings for five years. The show undermined the perception of the homogeneous middle-class demographic allowing shows like M*A*S*H to comment on contemporary events.

All in the Family represented the changing American neighborhood. The show opened the door for the working poor to join situation comedies as much as when the Bunkers welcomed Lionel, Louise (Isabel Sanford), and George Jefferson (Sherman Hemsley) when they moved into Archie’s neighborhood. Lear reportedly was challenged by the Black Panther Party to expand the range of black characters on his shows. He took the challenge seriously and added subversive humor. Sanford and Son was set in a junkyard in Watts. Foxx’s Fred Sanford rebelled against the middle-class aspirations of his son, Lamont (Demond Wilson). Good Times was set in the projects of Chicago, and took on issues like street gangs, evictions and poor public schools.

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Married With Children, The Simpsons, and King of the Hill continued to explore the comic possibilities of working class drama. Mary Richards on The Mary Tyler Moore Show was a successful, upwardly mobile television producer. Working-class women were represented on sitcoms like Alice, but didn’t have a central voice until 1988 when Roseanne debuted on ABC, and Roseanne Barr ushered in her brand of proletarian feminism. All in the Family’s legacy includes Black-ish, as creator Kenya Barris continues to mine serious and controversial subject matter for cathartic and educational laughter. Tim Allen covets the conservative crown, and is currently the Last Man Standing in for Archie. But as reality gets more exaggerated than any satire can capture, All in the Family remains and retains its most authentic achievement.

The post How All in the Family Changed the TV Landscape appeared first on Den of Geek.

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feistypaants-archived · 5 years ago

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False Positive [Chapter 7]

Rating: M Words: 1933 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When things don’t go according to plan and Anna finds herself alone and pregnant, she looks to her sister’s best friend, Kristoff, and almost makes a huge mistake.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: sorry for that wait! For.... something that’s not super exciting! Wheeeee. Might do some insert ficlets eventually but for now here we are :^)

Tryin to power through some chaps for a specific reason. Hope this doesn’t disappoint!

Enjoy!

Slowly they had started telling everyone. Elsa wanted to know more specific details, and after staying up late on video chat, they felt like they had come to a pretty good story.

It was about a month ago, she and Hans had gotten into a huge fight and split up. She had thought it was permanent and was frustrated and upset, and Kristoff wanted to help…. so they had a one night stand. When Hans found out, he was rightfully angry, which is why they’re not together right now. No, she didn’t know if they ever would be again, considering how angry Hans was.

No, she and Kristoff weren’t together, and no, they didn’t have any plans to be. They were still close friends and fully planned to co-parent, but that didn’t mean they had to get together.

Kristoff had an extra room in his apartment, and offered it up to her if she felt that would be easier.

Anna, after crying because she couldn’t believe how nice he was being during all of this, agreed.

So they’d be living together, for now. Not dating. Preparing for a child. But… not dating.

That was exactly how people said it to them when they found out, as if they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea of them not even giving it a chance. Clearly they had to have liked each other somewhat to hook up, and they were so close, it just made sense!

But Kristoff and Anna were not prepared to cross that line. A kid was enough of a commitment. They didn’t need or want to complicate it even further. “Besides,” Anna would laugh, pushing against his shoulder, “He’s too good for me. He’ll get someone way better. If we tried, I’d just screw it up. I’m a mess like that.”

Kristoff just forced out a smile, as if he were laughing along.

“You’re perfect,” he’d say, and she’d blush and turn her head away.

He cleared out his guest room of all the junk he had been storing and helped Anna move herself in. It took a couple weeks of doing a lot of purging, but she managed to cut her important belongings down to just enough to fit in the room, with a baby and all to come.

Elsa wasn’t sure about all of this, and kept pulling Kristoff aside, as if she knew something Anna didn’t… but Anna tried her best not to worry. Kristoff was one of her best friends, and one of the best people she had ever known. He wouldn’t keep anything from her! If it affected her, she’d know about it.

So she did her best not to worry, and moved into the spare bedroom in his apartment.

They had to share a bathroom which took some getting used to, but he gave her her space when it was a pregnancy issue, and she gave him his whenever they were spending just a little too much time together.

Anna didn’t work at the moment and figured there wasn’t much of a point now that she’d have to go on maternity leave soon, so she spent most of her days lounging around his apartment. When she was particularly bored, she’d shove her swollen feet into his big shoes and make her way to the bar, smiling wide as he laughed at her appearance.

“You’re cute,” he’d chuckle, as she spun around to show off her ‘Sweet Fit’, as they kids were apparently calling it. Leggings with an extra stretchy waist, an old t-shirt, usually with holes, and his smallest sneakers that were still miles too large for her tiny feet. “Do I even own any of my clothing anymore?”

“Nope!” Her smile grew brighter, if it were possible. “Pregnant Lady gets to take ownership of whatever she so chooses.”

When he got home from work, they’d sit on the couch, her legs draped over his lap as he ran his fingers over her warm skin. He’d tell her about his day, she’d let him know all the current happenings of her soap operas and television dramas. She’d fall asleep against the arm rest and he’d carry her into her bedroom, hesitating in the doorway as she mumbled a soft and sleepy goodnight.

Every once in a while, Anna would wake up in the middle of the night, and slide her feet shamefully across the hallway, knocking on the other bedroom door. “Kristoff? Psst.”

“Hmm?” He woke up slowly, blinking up at her backlit form.

“I need something.”

“What’s that?”

Anna toed the ground, biting at her lower lip. The problem is, she never really knew. They’d go to the late night corner store and she’d look at everything until it struck her. Usually it was something standard like pickles or cheese or salami, but occasionally they’d come home with sauerkraut and she’d eat it straight from the jar.

Kristoff tried to forget about the time she piled the sauerkraut onto chocolate and said it was the best thing she had ever eaten.

When he started to deny her the weirder cravings, Anna decided she needed to learn how to cook. She’d try her best to make him dinner most nights, especially if she was bored at home all day. Some things were great successes! They devoured her slow cooked pulled pork sandwiches. Others, like some sort of jellied meat dish, didn’t go over so well.

“Why. Just… why?” Kristoff asked, poking at it with his knife.

“I dunno!” She was already scraping the remainder of it into the trash. “It sounded good at the time and seemed like a fun challenge.”

They ordered pizza that night.

He rubbed her back and feet when she was aching, and ran her a hot bath if she was particularly miserable. She brought him cookies at the bar if she felt like she could move. He went with her to all of her doctors’ appointments and mommy classes and helped her learn to breathe through the pain with the Lamaze technique.

She couldn’t help but kiss him on the corner of his mouth when they found out it was going to be a boy. He had turned bright red, but a dorky smile tugged at his lips.

Anna decided that was the perfect time to go to the store and work on their registry. So she grabbed his hand, smiling as she scanned practically everything in the store, and Kristoff wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he took off everything that was even bordering on superfluous.

They had found a balance and it was seeming to work for them, even if their friends and family were saying they should just go for it. Kristoff didn’t want a relationship, and Anna was, quite frankly, still a little damaged from Hans. So this worked. They were content to be best friends, and stay best friends.

——

Anna sighed as she moved around the room. She had just entered into the third trimester, and everything was becoming very, incredibly real. They had rearranged her room, making space for the crib, changing table, and anything else that was needed. Kristoff had built a little baby dresser, just to hold all the littlest essentials, and Anna had almost wept when she saw it for the first time. It was so tiny. She was having a hard time realizing anything could be so tiny.

She sat down hard on the bed and sighed, rubbing circles over her belly. When Kristoff appeared in the doorway, she looked up at him with tired eyes. “I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore. This is the worst.”

“I know.”

“And he just keeps kicking me.”

“I know.”

“Why did I agree to this?”

Kristoff shrugged and walked into the room with a laugh. “That, I do not know.” He sat down beside her and immediately moved a soothing hand across her back. “You okay?”

“It’s…” she sighed and leaned against him. “It’s really real. And this plan… really worked…”

His hand stopped for a fraction of a second, but Anna noticed.

“It did.”

“I hate being pregnant.”

Kristoff’s cheek was now pressed against the top of her head. “Don’t you want a ton of kids?”

“Not anymore.”

She was pouting.

“You’ll change your mind when you meet him.” He shrugged. “Or there’s always adoption.”

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Anna couldn’t help but sniffle as tears were brimming her eyelashes. Damn hormones. “Thank you,” she mumbled, pressing her nose into his neck. “Seriously. For everything.”

“Eh,” he shrugged, waving a hand in front of them. “It’s nothing.”

“I figure once he’s born and we’ve settled down we can do the paternity tests and…” she paused, her arms squeezing tighter around his waist. “You’ll be off the hook.”

“I’m not on any hook.”

“Well, you can leave if you want. And no one will think anything of it.”

“Anna, I’m—.”

“Like… I get it. You don’t want kids, right? This isn’t your responsibility. I still can’t believe you invited me to live with you.”

“I wanted—.”

“I should’ve said no, though, I think. I think this is going to be harder when I have to leave.”

“Anna, you don’t—.”

“I’m sorry I put you in this situation. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Anna!” His voice grew louder and more stern. “Stop.”

She quieted then, keeping her eyes trained on the floor in front of them. “Sorry.”

“I wouldn’t have invited you to live here if I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t have agreed to do it if I didn’t care, okay?”

She looked up at him with wet eyes, wiping at her face and nose.

“No matter what, you’re my best friend, okay?” He placed one palm to her cheek before pressing a firm kiss against her forehead. “I care about you and want what’s best for you and your kid. No matter what.”

Anna stared at him for a moment, for hours, for days. He couldn’t tell you. But when she leaned up and kissed him, really kissed him, he felt his entire body melt. Everything about her warmed him from his core to his fingertips, and he wasn’t sure why, but right in that moment he decided he was going to tell her how he felt.

Not now.

But soon.

His hand flexed at his side, desperate to touch her and kiss her more, but knowing that this wasn’t the time. When she pulled away, eyes panicked and cheeks flushed, he immediately lifted that hand to the back of his head.

“Sorry!” Her hands clasped over her mouth, her eyes wide and still damp, looking anywhere but at him. “Oh, jeez… you were just being so nice and you should know that I can’t help but kiss nice m—“

They both froze, and Kristoff shook his head. “No worries. It’s all good. Just…” he patted her shoulder before letting it fall back to it’s spot between her shoulderblades. “Pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Okay. Okay.” She sat up and looked around the room. “Geez….” Anna lifted her fingers to her chin in thoughts. “Hopefully anything else we need we’ll get at the baby shower tomorrow…”

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded, letting his hand slide off of her back. “Ma said to be there a little early so we can do just a family thing before all the friends get there. That okay?”

Anna nodded and smiled, stretching her arms over her head. “Absolutely. You’re the best fake baby daddy a girl could ask for.”

He laughed, but felt his heart tighten. “What are friends for?”

What are friends for.

#fpfic #feistypantswrites

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hippychick006 · 5 years ago

Text

15.12 - Galaxy Brain

Episode Review/Recap

This is not pretty. Not the worst episode ever, but definitely somewhere in the bottom 10. It mainly suffers from having the focus on “fan favourites” I stopped caring about seasons ago, and contempt for Sam and Dean and their fans coming through loud and clear in the writing.

Everything under a cut because some people can’t handle the truth!

Official episode summary to get us excited and want to watch live: Sam and Dean respond to a frantic call and together along with Castiel, Jack, and Jody Mills (guest star Kim Rhodes), assist in an extraordinary and heartbreaking rescue. Billie (guest star Lisa Berry) surprises everyone with a visit to the bunker.

My reaction:

“Heartbreaking rescue” 😂

Kaia is shown in the recap and since I know from the promo that Jody is also in this episode, it’s yet another Wayward af episode being forced onto an audience who were very clear they didn’t want it 🙄. The recap is sending me to sleep and my bitter Sam girl is rising since he’s barely in it. Checks who wrote it and rolls eyes: Teleplay by Bobo the 🤡. Dean likely isn’t going to be much better off, prepares self for Destiel pandering and Dean being used as a side character to prop up the actual side characters. Awesome. Roll on Walker where I hope I won’t be subjected to this shit.

The radio shed scene is boring. Done with “fan favourite” Chuck and have been for several seasons now. Chuck’s droning on about Sam and Dean, yet it’s Dean and waste of space who are being shown sitting down together, with Sam barely in the background. Awesome. I just. Why? This is like when someone says something about J2 but we get a gif that includes M. Why are we incapable of getting just J2 or Sam and Dean?

Moving quickly on, we transition from one character I used to love but now don’t care about, to another character I used to love, but now don’t care about. “Fan favourite” Jody is examining a dead cow. “Fan favourite” Alex calls her, she must have been busy doing something else as she doesn’t appear in the episode. Side note, Berens put the line in about vegan lasagne because the girl playing Alex is a vegan. Oh… so we’re putting in shout outs to the side characters now? Maybe that’s why the writing is so bad. #justsaying 🤷‍♀️

Jody gets whacked on the head and is it wrong to hope she’s dead? 😔 I know she’s not dead, I know this episode is going to be TFW 2.0 rescuing her (though I predict they will end up being the ones needing to be rescued because Wayward af). It’s too much to expect some real cases, some real urban legends to investigate in the final season. Show went too big when it should have gone home.

Almost 7 minutes in and we finally have Sam and Dean. Yay! Berens has finally remembered they are still characters on the show, but I guess he hasn’t focused on them as they aren’t “fan favourites”. And of course “fan favourite” waste of space is in the scene because Chuck fucking forbid we get the brothers without their waste of space hanging around because he somehow has nothing else to do the last 4 seasons.

We’re pandering to “my three dad’s�� fan fiction crowd in this scene, though sharing 1 braincell Destihellers for sure will be tweeting about “dads” Dean and waste of space and cheerleader Uncle Sam. They’re talking about “fan favourite” Jack and him eating hearts. Sam doesn’t want to trust “fan favourite” Billie (good call imo). Dean seems disconnected from this scene. Same Jensen, Same tbh. Jared, bless him, is trying his best with this shit, even bringing out the big gun puppy eyes of doom, but I’m feeling nothing but anger.

We move from them to Jack wandering around the bunker. We see him looking at “fan favourite” Mary’s initials carved into the table… and thank you show for reminding me of that fuck up that I’d wiped from my memory. 😡🤬. We learn during this scene that Jack has been trying to contact Billie, but she’s busy so sent him a reaper.

Back with my three dad’s and Jensen can barely keep the contempt out of his expression to deliver this script. 😂

We learn in this scene that Jack trusts Death so waste of space trusts Jack (me plaintively, why???), This appears to be the part in the season that waste of space is being set up to be the tool, which they’ll forgive him for yet again. 🙄 and also 😴 and 😡, a lot of 😡

Ooh, Sam just asked the obvious question, “If Jack kills god, what about Amara.” Nobody really answers it though.

Jared side-eyeing Misha at the end of this “brother” scene. Wtf are you doing in this scene? Your contribution was what exactly? Did I get any time off during any of this for you to stand in this scene doing nothing, other than pandering to Destiel stans that could give a fuck about me, than as a cheerleader for their non ship? He flounces out. I wish I could leave as easily Jared, but you sucked me into this show the first time you popped your cute mop of emo hair around the door and asked, “Do I have to?” I’m here to the bitter, bitter end my friend.

Back with Jack and “fan favourite” random reaper we’ve never seen before. No offence to the lady, but it might have been nice to see “fan favourite” Tessa back. I don’t think she bit the dust, did she? Anyway 😴 through this scene.

Parent!Sam goes to find Jack and hears him talking to someone. Immediately concerned, he knocks on the door, and enters. The reaper has disappeared. Sam asks who Jack was talking to, Jack says no one, Sam knows that’s not the case but doesn’t push it. Sam says they’re glad to have Jack back and asks if he knows that and that Jack could have come to them first, they would have helped him. So… we’re just ignoring the whole box thing and the end of last season? Awesome, said no fan of good writing or continuity anywhere.

By the way Jack, that was your cue to be honest with Sam about the reaper.

Ah, yet another pandering moment!! How would we have endured the last few seasons without one or two or twenty of these crow barred into every episode. Screams from the rooftops “waste of space is a god damn angel, he doesn’t eat or drink, why the fuck are you trying to humanise him you twats.”

Anyway 😴 through that scene and I swear, I would pay to have a version of this show with waste of space completely removed from the last few seasons. Zero purpose to this, other than setting him up to be wrong again, and taking Dean along with him, because if Jack’s anything other than a red herring, I’ll be very 😡

As an aside, I don’t know who that is in this scene but it’s not Dean. It’s not my Dean that I fell in love with. I hate how much this show lost its way and dragged everything down to pandering and soap opera drama.

As another aside, this scene is like an outtake with seeing who can have the deepest voice, their vocal chords are going to be permanently screwed.

However, what amuses me as always with any Dean and waste of space scene, they don’t actually talk, except about Sam or Jack and this scene is no different.

Dean’s phone rings. It’s Jody. I started watching this epsiode, then took a break for a couple of days and had somehow completely forgotten she was in the episode. That’s how efficient my mind is at removing the trash. 😂. Anyway she’s in trouble and tells Dean where she is and that he has to come, otherwise she dies.

Dean and Sam drive to the location given by Jody and I’m incredibly surprised that waste of space isn’t cadging a ride in the back seat. Seems this is a random time they can deal with things on their own without requiring the assistance of several others. Just like the good old days. Shame they’re saving one of the Wayward failures rather than a brand new case that would have been infinitely more interesting.

Sam and Dean get to pretend they remember how to hunt in this episode, Dean covering Sam’s back while Sam helps untie Jody who is tied to a chair in the middle of a barn is the best scene in the episode so far. Jody has plenty of time while Sam’s untying her to warn them to watch out for “fan favourite” Dark!Kaia but no, and that’s how bad this is. She barely gets a gasp and a “look out” before Sam gets whaled on. And of course they are both going to get their asses handed to them because “Wayward af” 🙄. Fucking hate Wayward, not content with ruining 4 episodes of season 13, they’ve come back uninvited to waste another in season 15.

What the fuck did I just see? No seriously, what the actual everloving fuck did I just see? (My swearing goes up exponentially the worse the writing is, I make no apology for that). Samsel-in-distress is writhing on the floor, while Dean is being choked by whiny dark!kaia complaining about her spear, so of course Jody has to be the one to rescue the Winchesters by whacking her on the back with her chair 🙄. To add insult to injury, we don’t even get a padabooty shot to make up for this atrocity we’ve had to endure. And believe me, I could see Jared desperately trying to give us that shot. I’m 😡

Now that Jody’s been shown to be more competent than the Winchesters because “girl power rules”, Sam’s able to stand up again and both he and Dean get their guns trained on dark!kaia.

Long boring scene later – mainly between Jody and Kaia because why write for the two guys you’re paying a quarter of a million dollars per episode for, when you can write for the cheap side characters and have Sam and Dean just stand in the scene doing practically nothing. Are you chuck damn insane with this nonsense? Oh sorry, upshot is Kaia is alive and Dark!Kaia can see her world ending and needs to open the portal to rescue her so she lured Sam and Dean to get to Jack (for him to open the portal like he did before). 😴

Jack and waste of space are playing connect 4. Jack wins. 😴

Sam and Jody arrive back at the bunker. We get a waste of screen time between Jody and waste of space who meet for the first time, with Sam once again being very expensive, but beautiful background. Dean comes in a little later so he can have a dramatic entrance with dun dun dun, dark!kaia. 😴

I love how the Scooby gang are all off to the side, having a conversation but Dark!kaia is clearly within listening distance so it just makes them look like dumbasses.

Jack’s off limits in helping Kaia (Parent!Dean said no), but Sam says they’re going to look for another way. Ummm… wasn’t that what the entirety of Season 13 was about and you needed the grace of an archangel for? You’re just going to “check the lore” and miraculously find in half an episode what you couldn’t find in the entirety of a season? This is bad. Waste of space is going to call plot device “fan favourite” Sergei. How they never stumbled across Sergei before, I have no idea as he seems to be the oracle as far as Drabbernatural is concerned.

Dark!Kaia is so whiny. They are terrible at writing teenage girls, it’s actually insulting at this point.

Oh, I thought Jack had found the right spell in research, but turns out the monster needed for the spell is now extinct as they read about it in dad’s journal. Wow, I don’t remember the journal being mentioned in a long time, surprised they remember it even existed, let alone used to be the holy grail of hunting and pretty much what the show centred around in the early seasons (*whispers*, when the show was good).

Wow, they even managed to make the 30 second broment boring. This is a new low. 😴

Jody and waste of space scene because yes, out of all the scenes I could have wished to see in the final season, this was on the list. 🙄. They talk about “fan favourite” Hunter!Barbie Claire (who couldn’t be in this episode because she’s all that and a kit kat now - Supernatural who? I don’t know her.). We find out Claire loved Kaia. I mean yeah, it’s totally normal to fall in love within 15 minutes of knowing someone. Fucking hell, someone take this pandering hack’s laptop away and save us from this trite aimed only at people who share 1 braincell who only wanted the relationship as it’s a “parallel” to Destiel. But since Dean dancing with a lamp a couple of episodes ago was a parallel for Destiel, why are we pandering to them. (*whispers* the writers are all narcassists and put stoking their ego before good writing).

This is bad. Did I mention this was bad? No, but it’s really, really bad.

Jack was listening in so he’s going to do something stupid so Claire gets her “love” back. Of course he is. 🙄

He goes to speak to Dark!Kaia. She’s still whiny, we’ll fast forward this garbage to the point Jack looks inside Dark!Kaia’s head to see what she sees, which is Kaia struggling in lizard world. 😴

Jack goes to Sam and Dean and says he’s helping Kaia because he owes her. Parent!Winchesters are funny, neither are happy with what Jack wants to do but they support their mother killing son.

Reaper is back to stop Jack doing something that is “Winchester dumb” and Jesus fuck, how much contempt does this hack writer have for the lead characters and the 99% of the audience who love them?

Anyway the next few minutes are how stupid the Winchesters are that they can’t even fix the warding on the bunker, and I hate this writer is getting paid actual money for handing this crap in. Unfortunately, he’s got his fellow writers and a couple of hundred sycophants telling him how absolutely amaze balls he is with the rest of the c list cast tweeting around each other at how good they all were.

This is my favourite bit of the episode – not really – but it amuses me the Hellers are making mountains out of “I need to borrow your angel” (😔 pandering) and completely ignoring that no-one bats an eye or puts up a token protest that the reaper needs to use waste of space to feed the wards to keep them running as long as they need for the spell to work. No one asks what harm that might do to him, waste of space is yet again, nothing more than... well, a waste of space really. Never change Hellers, never change. 😂. I’d like to point out that if Sam has been needed to charge it, the reaction from Dean would have been entirely different. 😂

Dean makes the spell, Sam reads the words, while 2 of the 3 side characters just stand there with no purpose. The warding going up throughout the bunker is the coolest part of this episode though. Special effects used their $2.50 dollar store budget wisely this week. 👍

10 second broment where Sam asks Dean how Sam’s feeling about what they’re doing.

Sam: honestly? It feels like we’re taking a big, probably stupid risk… it feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the dumb right thing, it feels like we’re back.

Note to Berens, I think you could have fit a few more dumb synonyms into that speech to let us know how you really feel). 🙄

I like how Sam checks Dean’s backpack in this scene though. I’m wondering if that was J2 rather than writing or direction.

Yet another scene between Jody and waste of space. 😴. Jody thanks him for staying behind to look after the reaper. Waste of space says he wants Jody to stay behind too.

Jody (out of absolutely nowhere): What is that? Some bs male chivalry thing?

Fuck off with your sjw feminist bullshit to please the single braincellers. With shitty lines like this, it’s absolutely no surprise Wayward didn’t get green lighted.

Waste of space talks about how he’ll never be able to make what’s right, what he “took from Claire”. Oh, you’ve remembered you possessed a child, incapable of consenting to being possessed, in order to blackmail her father to agree to being possessed again against his will. A father and husband you got killed because you provoked Lucifer by shouting “Hey assbutt” at him and getting Jimmy blown to smithereens? And you still wander round wearing his face and clothes? No, waste of space, you can’t ever make up for that.

Anyway, the reason he doesn’t want Jody going is that if Claire loses her on top of what she’s already lost (including Kaia), then it would kill her. Jody agrees. I meanwhile have to stop watching while I try to find my eyes which have rolled right out of my head at this point of the episode. 🙄

Found them, we’re back!

The reaper and Castiel put their hands on a stone tablet, not sure if we’ve seen it before or it’s just a random object the reaper has handy. 🤷‍♀️. The wards are supercharged (hiding the use of Jack’s powers from Chuck so he doesn’t alert Chuck that he’s back). Jack opens the portal and Dark!Kaia, Sam and Dean step through to lizard world.

It’s raining heavily, but not on Sam’s hair bizarrely. Denied wet!Sam so here’s a gif from a good episode.

And because I'm here for both my boys, here’s wet Dean as a bonus

They start walking to find Kaia and are set upon by those creatures from the first Star Wars movies – the ones that sell the droids and this bit is exciting, finally we get what I’m here for. Sam and Dean are going to kick as…. Or not, because why write Sam and Dean doing what they should be doing. The creatures don’t want to fight, they are scared of the world ending and run away. Totally anti-climactic. 😔

They find Kaia and in the most bizarre writing so far in a season chock full of bizarre writing, Kaia rushes to the guy who pulled a gun on her and forced her to do something she didn’t want to do, resulting in her getting stranded on that shitty lizard world alone, and instead of stabbing him, she… hugs him.

In fairness, it was ooc writing by I think Berens that had Dean pulling the gun on Kaia in the first place so this is just a really weak attempt at fixing the original bad writing, which only ends up compounding the problem.

Sam “the writers never bother to write in a hug for me” Winchester just stands back and smiles at Kaia. In fairness, Sam never getting hugged goes way back and I headcanon that Sam has “back off” vibes to protect himself. Common in younger siblings that experience a lot of loss early in their lives.

Kaia notices dark!kaia and looks about to kill her but Sam says that she helped them find Kaia. They go to leave but dark!kaia wants to stay because she doesn’t belong in their world. Sam says she’ll die and she seems to accept that, being left behind as Sam, Dean and Kaia run for the portal.

We see Dark!Kaia’s world pretty much ending, with her embracing it, just as Sam, Dean and Kaia step back through the portal.

Jody and Kaia hug and I think we’re supposed to feel 🥰 at that, but I care for neither of them (and Kaia was the one I originally liked in season 13, but Wayward af and the trite with Claire, plus dark!kaia episodes ruined it).

Kaia and Jack scene and Kaia looks really well put together considering the entire time we saw her in the AU, she was clearly having mental issues, but like a magic wand has been waved, she’s completely normal and healthy and no worse for 2 earth years in complete isolation in a world you have to fight to survive in every day. Miraculous, but that’s a Wayward af cardboard cutout character for you.

Jody comes in and offers Kaia a home at Jody’s home for cardboard cut out girl!power hunters. Kaia asks if Claire will be there and Jody says soon.

Sam, Dean and waste of space are crammed into a frame and we wouldn’t have this overcrowding in a scene if they didn’t insist on crowbarring him in. There would be more space in the scene if he wasn’t wasting it. I’m guessing it’s to frame Jack in the front with his “three dad’s” behind 🤮. It just looks bad.

After Kaia and Jody leave, they go back to speak to the reaper. They’ve remembered they have two stars in this framing, Sam and Dean are together in the front of the shot, Jack and waste of space are behind.

Sam asks the reaper if the warnings worked. She snidely answers that the fact they are all still alive says it worked. She’s killed milliseconds later by… Billie. Oh “fan favourite” reaper, so sad to see you go. Maybe you’ll be resurrected in a later episode. We can always hope.

“Hello boys”. Wait, isn’t that Crowley’s line (and before that Ellen?).

Oh my chucking lord, why the dramatical looks at Death and everyone being scared. This is bad. This is like that Clint Eastwood movie where they all look at each other.

It’s bad. Who directed this? Lol, I think it might have been Richard. He’s been hit or miss for me. And this one’s a miss.

Sam and Dean step aside to allow Billie to get to Jack and can I just say, no parent would ever do that. I don’t believe Sam and Dean would do that, but they do, do that (sniggers childishly at do do). They just step aside without saying a word, but who cares about them and what their characters would do. Certainly not the writer of this episode.

Death tells them they risked everything for one girl and for what, because all the worlds are dying.

Waste of space says it’s Chuck and glares impotently at Death (I think that’s what he’s doing, he might just need the bathroom again, who knows anymore tbh), while she agrees with him, saying Chuck has been wiping out galaxies for the end.

Sam asks what her end game is. He asks how Jack is going to kill god, what the plan is.

Long, boring monologue later, God has a book in Death’s library, meaning he can die. Billy: Everything dies” 😂

We flashback to original death in the pizza place with Dean and I wish they hadn’t. The difference between that scene and anything in the last season is glaring. But I was right from something we were talking about a few weeks ago, because we get this quote from Death to remind us;

Death: In the end, I reap him too

Original!Dean: God? You’ll reap god

Death: oh yes

Waste of space, “And why would god write the blueprint to his own death?” (that would have been a good line for Sam or Dean who have barely had anything to say or do this episode as it is, and they’re in the scenes just standing there getting paid a quarter of a million dollars to watch someone who hung up his acting shoes before season 7, give this line, and I can’t with this).

Anyway, god didn’t write the book, the books write themselves.

Another boring monologue, the upshot of which is Chuck had to write himself into the framework, hence he has to have a book, but it’s not explained very well and I’m fake coughing bullshit on this plot device as it doesn’t make any sense but I throw my hands up in the air. If the writers don’t care about even trying to make it make sense, then why the fuck should I put any effort in to explain it away. 😴

God hasn’t read his book and can’t unless Billie lets him. Sam asks if Jack is in god’s book. She says yes and “so are you. I told you Dean, you and your brother have work to do, this is your destiny. You are the messengers of god’s destruction.”

Oh great... they’re messenger boys now? Awesome.

Back with Chuck, he’s still in Radio Shed, watching a number of televisions and all of them show worlds being destroyed.

Chuck gets up to leave, the “fan favourite” Radio Shed employee asks if he’ll be saved. Oh you sweet summer child!

Chuck says he’ll be fine, but as he leaves we see a meteor hit the store (and show, if you think that was a surprise twist ending, it was flashing neon lights from the very beginning).

The episode seemed to be double the length of normal, but nothing really happened and it was boring af.

Somebody get this show a defibrillator. Stat! Oh wait, on second thoughts, slaps “Do not resuscitate” sign onto show. Let it die in peace.

#spn spoilers #15.12 #galaxy brain #spn critical #very critical

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ckret2 · 5 years ago

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No Tongue, No Teeth

If Rodan and Ghidorah are supposed to be courting each other, then it’s high time that Rodan explain to this big clueless alien what exactly that means on Earth.

And meanwhile, the Monarch scientists responsible for translating titan language are driving themselves crazy trying to figure out what the hell Rodan and Ghidorah are talking about.

This is part of an ongoing series of Rodorah one-shots. If you don’t want to read the others, all you need to know is: Ghidorah doesn’t speak any Earth languages so Rodan’s teaching them, and at this point they’re making an A in “creative uses for limited vocabulary” but a C+ in grammar; and Rodan’s never heard the word “Rodan” before and considers himself Nido. Links to the other fics are in the source at the bottom of this post.

###

"Look at them." Xochitl pressed her fingertip to a screen displaying a live feed from one of the many cameras Monarch had trained on the volcano. It was barely past dawn, with reddish sunbeams breaking weakly through patchy morning rainclouds—it had been raining since Rodan and Ghidorah had come home yesterday—and the two titans were sitting together in a narrow valley between the eastern side of el Nido del Demonio volcano and the neighboring hill. Rodan was chattering steadily to Ghidorah, pausing to shake off the morning drizzle every once in a while, and Ghidorah only occasionally cut in with questions or requests for clarification. "They've never been this chatty. Or this... this incomprehensible. It's like they're speaking a completely different language."

Arturo decided not to point out to her that they were.

"I can't believe it." Xochitl propped her elbows on her wobbly desk and planted her face in her hands. "Days they spend in the Antarctic circle. And when they come back, I can't understand a thing they're saying."

Arturo patted her shoulder sympathetically. This had the effect of causing her to crumple down to the desk, hiding her face in her arms in despair.

Dr. Xochitl Flores Rosales was the primary mind behind “lenguaje de los pájaros titánicos (para principiantes),” the YouTube channel produced by Outpost 56-B—which consisted of a trio of trailers at the edge of the volcanic rock on the outskirts of Rodan's territory. For weeks now, she and the rest of 56-B had been studiously recording every single squawk and trill that came out of Rodan and Ghidorah's mouths as Rodan painstakingly—and with copious easy-to-follow pantomime—taught Ghidorah his language. She'd been stitching videos together out of footage they were taking of the titans from dozens of different angles, editing and subtitling every word between them, and then releasing the videos to the public. (To the consternation of Monarch HQ, who hadn't approved a project utilizing footage that they thought of as Monarch property.)

Until now several days ago, Outpost 56-B had been riding high, buoyed by the explosive popularity of their real-time language lessons and their Monarch-unauthorized Twitter account documenting the odd-but-oddly-harmless day-to-day activities of Isla de Mara's two resident titans. Even the false alarm from several days ago had ended happily: after a long night spent sending very serious updates to the official Monarch HQ Twitter account about the unexpected skirmish between Rodan and Ghidorah, the resulting hurricane-wreathed chase scene through the Atlantic down to Antarctica, and the subsequent far more vicious fight, it had been a relief to receive pictures from the Antarctic Outpost 32-B skeleton crew showing Rodan and Ghidorah cuddling up against each other like nothing had happened. 56-B had promptly added an impressive array of heart emojis to the pictures, added a caption celebrating that the lovers' spat hadn't ended in an apocalypse, and posted it to their very unofficial Monarch Outpost 56-B Twitter account.

(Monarch HQ, again, asked them not to refer to Rodan and Ghidorah as a romantic couple, even as a running joke for their Twitter audience, due to the fact that they had no idea what was really going on between Isla de Mara's two titans; and until they saw evidence that the titans were actually some sort of mating pair, 56-B was deeply abusing the reputation of scientific authority that came from the name "Monarch" by referring to them like they were. 56-B responded by pointing out that half the times Godzilla was mentioned on the official Monarch Twitter account, Dr. Russell's totally unproven "alpha" label was still getting flung around, despite the fact that last week Godzilla had sat on a beach for six hours trying to untangle a fishing net from his dorsal plates while Kraken occasionally snuck up behind him to re-tangle the net.)

No apocalypse had happened. 56-B's personal favorite soap opera couple had come back from the brink of a breakup, gone on a cruise together, and literally cuddled for warmth. Rodan, newly-adopted pride of Tamaulipas, had done what no other titan had done thus far by defeating Ghidorah in single combat. And now they'd come back to Rodan's nest with naught but a light summer rain to disturb the weather. This should have been a happy homecoming.

But while the two titans in question had spent the last few days fighting/chilling in Antartica, riding on a supercarrier, and setting off a goddamn volcano on Bouvet Island, the 32-B skeleton crew had sent absolutely useless videos that didn't help the 56-B crew understand a single thing Rodan and Ghidorah were saying. They'd barely managed to pick out a couple of new words when the wind was right. Xochitl had spent several hours straight furiously rewatching footage from a Monarch observation ship, palms pressing her headphones to her head, volume turned up to maximum, staring at her laptop with her eyes two inches from the screen, trying desperately to lipread two creatures that didn't have lips to read as Rodan dropped rocks one after another in front of Ghidorah and she knew he was teaching him to count, dammit! She KNEW he was! And she couldn't hear the numbers!

If the U.S. Navy didn't turn over the footage they'd recorded while Ghidorah had been lounging on their supercarrier, she was taking a rowboat to Washington D.C. and challenging Admiral Stenz to a fistfight.

So here Xochitl was. On the verge of pulling out her hair because she no longer understood a damn thing coming out of their mouths. This was sobering news for “lenguaje de los pájaros titánicos (para principiantes).”

"Rodan's even changed the name he's calling Ghidorah," she grumbled. "Just slightly. But you can hear the difference if you compare recordings. What does it mean?"

"Maybe it's a rank thing?" Arturo suggested. "Since he beat him in a fight?"

"Shut up. That's what Russell would say." She sighed heavily, propped her chin on the desk, and put her headphones back on. "Okay. Shit. I'm going to figure out what they're talking about if it kills me."

"Good luck," Arturo said solemnly.

"At least Rodan's explaining new words again," Xochitl muttered. "He's usually easier to understand when he's explaining new words. Damn."

"What's he teaching now?" Arturo asked.

"Body parts," Xochitl said. She watched dully, copied the way Rodan stuck out his tongue, and frowned. "I think he's telling Ghidorah not to lick him?"

Arturo considered that. "Okay," he said. "That's reasonable. I wouldn't want Ghidorah to lick me either."

###

"Chest," Nido said, puffing his chest out demonstratively—and inadvertently showing off the newest golden face print that the golden ones had left on him. (It was a fabulous bit of decoration, he thought.) The golden ones dutifully echoed the new word. "Back." He turned. "Wings," spread wide. "Tail," wiggled.

"Small tail," the golden ones' left head added unhelpfully.

Nido gave him an exasperated look—well, they couldn't all have a million miles of spines hanging off their asses, could they?—but grudgingly conceded, "Small tail." He turned back around, wiggled his feet, then his hands, "Talons. Claws."

They repeated the new words, then waited attentively for whatever he said next.

"No touching," Nido said.

Their tails drooped.

"Touching is after courting," Nido said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," they said. One of the voices in that chorus sounded gloomy.

"Before courting: head and neck." He kicked a couple of rocks at the appropriate anatomy on the golden ones, since compared to them he didn't have much to speak of in the way of a neck. "Touching head and neck is okay. Not body."

"Is body touches head okay?"

Nido thought about that. He'd never considered that arrangement before. He tried to imagine a wing rubbing his head, and said, "No. Not okay."

"Is head touches body?"

Technically, in proper courting, that was a no-no too. But he was really getting to like the way that they left golden imprints in his armor when they pressed into him just after he emerged from a lava bath, and he didn't want to say no to that. "Sssometimes."

"What is 'sometimes'?"

"Between yes and no?" Nido tried.

The golden ones gave him a collection of perplexed/affronted looks. "'Maybe' is between yes and no," the right one reminded him.

With a careful mask of mildly curious indifference, the middle one asked, "'Sometimes' is between maybe and yes?"

"Is 'probably,'" the left one supplied, and then dodged as the middle one snapped halfheartedly at his horns.

"No, no, uh..." Nido tried to think of another way to illustrate the word to them. "Sometimes, the sky is raining; sometimes, the sky is sunny."

"'Sunny'?"

"Sunny! You know 'sun'. Sunny is 'the sun is here.'"

The golden ones considered that, then made a satisfied noise.

They weren't supposed to be talking about the weather. Nido tried to remember what the original question had been.

Right! Boundaries! "And no tongue," he stuck his out demonstratively, "and no teeth." He didn't really have teeth to demonstrate that with, so he clacked his beak a couple of times and hoped they'd figure it out from context.

"After courting?"

"No! Not before or after. No tongue, no teeth."

Middle and right immediately looked at left head. Lefty reared up, looked at Nido with the deepest of offense, and said, "Tongue tastes you."

Nido hopped up to the golden ones, made deep, soulful eye contact with each of them, and said, calmly but passionately, "I want you to not taste me."

Lefty made a displeased noise.

"Do you understand?"

They considered the question. "What is 'want'?" the right one asked. The other two, sensing an opportunity, immediately piped up: "What is 'not'?" "What 'taste'?"

Oh, they were comedians now. He fluttered up, brandishing his talons at their faces. They backed off with only one stray snap at his feet, making a rumbling noise low in their throats that was probably either a death threat or a sound of amusement. Nido was going to take his chances that it was the latter.

He landed a bit up his nest's slope. "No tongue, no teeth," he repeated. Then, considering what little he instinctively knew about mating, amended himself: "Maybe teeth, after courting. Sometimes. No tongue. Do you understand?"

"Yes!"

"Good!" So there was one topic covered. What next?

They'd been up since long before dawn discussing courtship—which Nido had attempted to convey to the golden ones was the process of getting from "maybe love later" to "yes love now"—and, specifically, all the rules and rituals that went with courtship; and since Nido was the winner of the most recent fight to determine whether they were going to continue courting, that made Nido the one in charge of deciding the exact way they were going to handle this.

He'd like to think the rules he'd laid down so far weren't tyrannical. Some people, he knew, went into courtship with a list of rigid standards and demands that they required any prospective partners to meet. Nido wasn't interested in any of that. He'd always thought that, when there was finally someone else around to court, he'd let his suitor do whatever they wanted to demonstrate what kind of mate they would be. It made more sense to him than commanding them to fit into Nido's preconceived notions. If he'd been sticking to some list of standards he'd developed without having ever courted before, would he be entertaining a courtship from a three-headed gold-plated alien? No, he would not, and his life would be poorer for it. Preconceived notions could get stuffed. Nido was going to be lax about the rules.

He just needed to be sure that the golden ones weren't going to, like, make him feel like they were about to eat him. He figured that was a very reasonable baseline level of trust for any healthy relationship.

They'd started with nests. It was normal to hang out at the reigning champion's nest, and honestly kinda weird to hang out at the loser's nest; but considering that the golden ones didn't have a nest, Nido was going to say it was understandable that they'd been hanging out at Nido's instead. And now that he'd won their most recent fight, it actually made sense for them to hang out at Nido's place. If the golden ones wanted to choose their own nest and then won a fight, then Nido would be expected to visit their place.

(He didn't tell them that they shouldn't choose an Antarctic volcano for their nest—he did, after all, want to see what they were actually like, not demand that they change their behavior to impress him. But privately, he thought that if they did choose one in Antarctica, that was going to be a pretty strong indicator that they were going to have irreconcilable differences.)

And they'd covered fights. They could each challenge the other to a fight at any time. The most recent loser had the right to turn down challenges; but the reigning champion did not. (Some people considered accepting a challenge mandatory no matter what. While Nido thought that in an ideal world, everyone ought to be ready to throw down at all times, he had made enough friends who didn't like fighting to recognize the value of allowing people the option to say no. But he thought a current winner really had no excuse to refuse a challenge to their position.) Fights were called when one combatant hit the ground, yielded, or fled.

Because the current winner was the combatant who'd recently proven to be the more impressive potential partner, they were therefore the one who needed to be impressed by the other combatant. Consequently, the winner had the right to issue (non-combat) challenges to the current loser and to set the terms of courtship. The winner also got to lead the loser around if they decided to go out on any flights together, and—of course—they hung out at the winner's nest. Now, the loser didn't have to get dragged out on any flights if they didn't want to go. They were allowed to turn down requests to go out. But most didn't because usually, if the loser was courting the winner, it was because they actually wanted to spend time with the winner, right?

And now, after a quick lesson on words for body parts, they'd covered physical boundaries—which would hopefully prevent the golden ones from coiling around him like a hungry sea serpent as a sign of affection again—so what was next? They'd hit the most important topics, Nido felt. At this point he didn't really have any rules, per de. But maybe the golden ones would appreciate an overview of the kinds of things that normally came up during courting? Since Nido had no idea what kind of alien frame of reference they were coming from? He could touch on common things like dancing, offering gifts, kidnapping and murdering each other's enemies, and appropriate grooming behavior. Or maybe he should call it a morning and let them figure out their own way. Not that he wanted to leave them completely floundering—

"Is fighting touches body okay?"

Oh, they had another question. "Fighting is different."

"What is 'different'?"

Nido opened his beak, realized he had no idea how to concisely explain the idea of "different" with the words they had available, and decided to skip that question for now. "Yes, touching during fighting is okay—"

"We challenge winner."

"What?"

With a squawk, Nido was tackled by a hundred forty thousand tons of static-charged gold.

He wildly slashed his talons at their abdomen until they rolled off of him, cackling madly all the while.

Oh, he liked them.

He liked them a lot.

They'd barely gotten back on their feet and wings before he launched himself straight at them, claws aimed for their throats.

###

Arturo had been put in charge of both the camera feeds monitoring the tussling titans and the big red "call the Armada de México for help" button while Xochitl pored over the mountain of footage they'd collected that morning, listening to sentences over and over as she picked out new words and phrases.

"Any luck?" Arturo asked.

"Mmr," Xochitl said distractedly.

He gave her a moment. Then he tried again: "Any luck figuring out what they're doing?"

"What?" Xochitl finally looked over at Arturo.

He gestured at the camera feeds. "Is this just a little argument, or should—" He was interrupted by a fractured bolt of lightning lancing down the side of the volcano and a crack of thunder that rattled their furniture. "Should we be calling for help?"

"Oh. Yeah, no, no they're fine. Don't worry about them."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." She tapped a finger on her headphones. "They're playing."

"Oh." Arturo paused. He looked back at the camera feeds. Ghidorah had one set of teeth latched into Rodan's shoulder while Rodan tried to claw through his chest. Arturo looked at Xochitl again. "Sorry, what?"

"It's a—I think it's a ritual? Rodan's started using way more complicated grammar—the winner gets, uh... social benefits. Picking date night destinations and the like."

"Oh." Arturo looked at the camera feeds again. In his opinion, anyone who fought like that over a date night ought to be well past breaking up and on to filing for a restraining order, but— "Hold on. 'Date night'? Like joking-around-on-Twitter 'date night,' or like actually...?"

"They keep using a handful of words they obviously worked out when we weren't recording that I haven't definitively translated yet," Xochitl said, "and—they're discussing some kind of social rules—Rodan defined the word for whatever this rule system is using one of the words we don't have. But, from the context, the most reasonable translation that fits that context is that he's laying down dating rules."

Arturo's jaw dropped. "You're serious? So that's—" the island rumbled as somebody got knocked over, "that's actual titan dating?"

Xochitl tipped back her chair, arms crossed triumphantly. "Dr. Rodan-fought-Ghidorah-to-steal-his-'rival-alpha'-title Russell can suck my entire ass."

A particularly heavy thud knocked over Xochitl's chair. "Shit."

###

Nido was pretty sure that the golden ones' faces just weren't built to properly make shit-eating grins. Nevertheless, as Nido flopped back first into his volcano and let the lava ooze soothingly into his new bite wounds, he could feel them exuding the aura of a shit-eating grin. "What."

"We win."

"No!" Nido flailed back upright. "You do not!"

"Do," they insisted. "We fight. You fall. We are winner." They took turns with the sentences—which made their accent much thicker than when they traded off with the syllables each was best at pronouncing, but incalculably increased their smugness.

"Not a fight!"

Some of their smugness dissipated as they gave him a wary look. "What?"

"A fight in the sky is a fight! A fight on the ground—" he dismissively flicked a chunk of rubble from the hive the humans had built over the top of his crater, sending it bouncing and clattering down the side of the volcano, "is not a fight. You're not a winner if you don't win." With the last word, he raised his wings, pantomiming flying, reminding the golden ones that that was the other definition of the word: you're not a winner if you don't fly.

"You—! You are—!" The golden ones stopped there, apparently unable to conjure up a word that illustrated exactly what they thought of Nido. They were making that low, deep, rumbling noise that he'd determined was either a threat or a laugh.

"Cheater?" he offered them gleefully. "Liar? Fraud? Hustler?"

They climbed to the edge of the crater, loomed over Nido, and venomously hissed, "Insult."

Nido flopped back and cackled until he choked on his own lava.

They leaned over the crater and bunted his forehead so hard he momentarily saw stars. Now he was sure: they were laughing.

Somewhere southward, a couple of scientists at 56-B were adding a viciously cutesy photo filter to a shot of the bunt and posting it to Twitter.

###

(Replies/reblogs are welcome! Check the “source” link below for my masterlist of KOTM and Rodorah fics, as well as my AO3 and Ko-fi links.)

#rodorah #rodan #king ghidorah #ghidorah #godzilla #kotm #fanfic #my writing #(not edited so I can get this up before my internet craps out for an hour)#(good luck)

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