#They’re going to have sex aren’t they…

[revelboo]

after the holidays, my friend and I are going back downtown, buying a couple Blokees each, and having a lil get together where we assemble them

you did this. you made me go broke.

<3

But they’re just little guys 😆 18+ 🌶️

Gravity Pt 11

Optimus x Reader

• Rolling onto his side, he hooks an arm around you and pulls you back into him. Palm flattening against you, finding the beat of your heart as he relaxes again. At the back of his processor, there’s concern over what he’d done that he’s going to have to deal with. Worry about what the rest of the Autobots will think about this. About what he’s done with you. There’s no regret, but there’s going to be consequences. If nothing else, dealing with the fallout from the others figuring out this is a possibility. “Should have guessed you were a cuddler,” you say, voice sleepy. If you don’t want to be held, you keep it to yourself at least.

• Blissfully boneless, you idly play with the servos of the hand splayed possessively on you. “We should discuss what happened,” he says, that deep voice so serious. And he’s a worrier, too, apparently. Ready to ruin the afterglow by overthinking it. Wiggling your hips back against him where his big frame is curled around you, he makes a deep rumbling noise in response. Especially when you pull his hand down and urge him to cup you. Feel him vent raggedly against you to stir your hair as his servos get on board with your plan and stroke you.

• “What happened was amazing,” you say, voice husky as you hold his hand where you want it and move against him, undulating against his hand and his spike as it stirs. “Doesn’t need to be anything deeper than sex.” Knows you’re right, but those words still hurt. Clearly drawing a line that he desperately wants to cross. Warning him that you don’t want more from him. Just this. And he could play along, let you warm his berth and let it be as simple as that, but it’s not what he wants. Wants you to talk to him, open up and share with him. Wants to know your secrets and you. Wants so much more than just a warm, willing body under his.

• “It could be, though. More.” That deep voice rumbles through you as he spears a servo inside you, stroking deep. Hips moving against you, his spike rubbing against you to tease you both. “It could mean something.” And it’s sweet, the big guy a hopeless, but utterly unrealistic, romantic. Where does he really think this can go? White picket fences and kids? Even if he was human, you’d accepted a long time ago that those dreams aren’t meant for people like you. That they can only hurt you. So no. Your body he can have, your heart isn’t up for grabs.

• Gripping his wrist as he strokes you with a servo, you toss your head back against him. Can hear your breathing change, those soft little hitching moans. “I don’t need anything but this.” Those words cut him, all jagged edges biting into his spark. Denying him. Pressing his face against the back of your neck as you rock yourself against his servos, he lets that ache hollow him out. Because if this is all of you allowed him, he’ll take it even if it kills him. You don’t have to love him, don’t even have to care for him beyond your need to find pleasure in his arms. He’ll still hold you, try to coax you and maybe eventually it might be more. Has to believe that or he can’t stand it. To believe you might grow to care about him even if it’s not for a long time.

Previous

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm using the word "ridiculous" a lot

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - OMG they’re so fucking cute I can’t stand it. It’s too much. Everyone is adorable. Including the father. (That said, I wouldn’t recommend watching Naughty Babe with your dad. That’s a big leap there, cutie pie.) The 10 minutes of holding hand negotiation and then finally walking together across campus was truly fucking fantastic. This show is GLORIOUS. Now we also know when it finally does move from dreams to reality, that these two can kiss.

Actual name of this show?

How to Train Your Seme

Speaking of names, Fah's brother, whose name I forget, is now going to referred to by me as Sarcastic Cupid. Because that is his role in this narrative. I love him very much.

On a completely different note, and I know this is not that kind of show, but this is me so I have to say it, if these two ever do have sex it’s gonna take them hours. They just gonna spend half the night negotiating. Which is kind of tantric, but my goodness would they even make it into bed?

ThamePo (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - i just love this show!!!! so happy to have this one my screen. The dads have to save the little musical family! So cute! And illegally pretty.

Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 14 of 15 - They substantially took steps to fix Phun‘s dad character in the new version and I really like that a lot. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 

Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Why is this absurd show so damn good? When Sun has to beg it’s just too much. It’s too sweet and aching and hurtful and wonderful. Catnip = the sex herb trope was not anything I’ve ever thought I would see in my lifetime. Okaaay now. Relax little show. Too far.

Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 12 of 16 - The extended version is clearly better. But I’m not gonna bother to pay for it. Again, I’m liking the new couple more and more each week. I still prefer the first couple of course cause Pond but it’s enjoyable enough.

Note: I'm super grateful for those posting them as clips here on the hellsite. Because man can these boys kiss!

The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 12 - this show is so entirely and utterly ridiculous. I don’t even know what to do with it or myself. Or what to say. Carry on, I guess?

Also I don't know what GMMTV is smoking to tease this one, but I'll take a hit next time they pass the BL bong.

Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 7 of 24 - I am living for Pond & Sand. they are pretty much all I care about. Yes including the upcoming couples. I just want pond sand. sure the main couple was fine it was a perfectly serviceable ending to their arc such as it was. All in all I enjoyed this episode big smile on my face most of the time.

Secret Love (????) 1-60 of 81 eps - Someone dropped a cut together of episodes one through 60, and I actually quite enjoyed it. It’s a total soap opera and very much a pulp. But I kind of love that right now. Frankly, 1-60 is a completed story arc. If you want that. I will probably watch the whole thing if anybody ever uploads it or it turns up grey anywhere. But this was quite satisfying. Ridiculous but charming fluff about two stepbrothers, who aren’t really stepbrothers, who have loved each other forever and are reunited under trying family circumstances. 7/10 passes the sniff test

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 7 of 11 - ARGH. The pain. what an absolutely stellar show. I can't believe we are only on ep 7!

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 13 - I love it. This show is fantastic. It’s classic BL, it’s hitting all of the tropes, and it reminds me of some of the best that Taiwan has done in the past. I’m charmed and enjoying it immensely. Taiwan isn’t great on endings so I’m reserving judgment, but what a current highlight to my week. I like these boys so much. Please be kind to me and them, Taiwan?

Eternal Butler (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - Ever 4, a sophisticated AI combat robot, becomes the personal butler/bodyguard to Luo Bu Shi, a spoiled yet lonely young heir. And I like it a lot. Odd with a very old fashioned yaoi feel. Also actually kinky (not Thai kinky), I mean it's no JBL but I like it. Dommed into reading = hot. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 12 of ? - I love our new rescuer, he v cute! Nice addition to the cast. I hope we get more of him. Otherwise, this was more of the same. I’m getting pretty fatigued with this bully stuff at this juncture.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 8 end - A lackluster adaptation of some already questionable content, that managed to lose all the limited charm and massive chemistry of the original. It was a mistake to do with less runtime not to mention put both climaxes in the final episode.  Too much all at once. By dividing up the two rescues and keeping them exclusive to their respective couples they highlighted the formulaic nature of the narrative and weakened the foundational friendships. The best thing about the original was the friendships both between the semes and the ukes. By having each boyfriend simply rescue his own boy without help, we didn’t get to see the depth of those friendships at all. For this reason, this installment was weaker than the original. My final feeling at the end was simply “OK whatever” not a ringing endorsement. 7/10 but barely that.

It's airing but......

Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - on hold because it went out side genre conventions and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm waiting until it ends, then if safe I will binge.

Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China YT) movie from HBD Studio airing in short bits but I couldn't find any this week.

Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai ???) - has been picked up to air on WeTV, or something? Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially un-subbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now it's to the wayside until someone tells me it landed safely. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.

0.5D (Japan ????) 4 eps - Supposedly a completed short. "Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior." I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. I can't find and it's good very poor review so Imma stop looking. Info here.

The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel. Eh is it worth trying to find?

It Ended But?

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I have been told the ending is OK if not great. I’m gonna hold off for a bit.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Final still to come:

12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.

Impression of Youth (Taiwan ????) ??eps - rumors are this is supposed to start this month.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

10 years later and it's still one of BLs best cuddles (Love Sick)

Always like a seme who asks permission. (Perfect 10)

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for sashene behind the cut; “the puzzle trap sex-room”. tw: discussion of past dubcon/underage sex, past grooming, unhealthy coping mechanisms. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“I said I’m leaving, dammit!” he snarls, and then he lifts off and takes off, and he doesn’t fucking care about the stupid fucking Batcave’s walls but he doesn’t wanna deal with Superman saying something disapproving about it later so he just bolts towards the tangled-up cave system. 

It’s just one more stupid puzzle to solve tonight. 

He doesn’t actually make it out of the cave, though, because Superman catches him by the arm and yanks him back, his grip harder than steel and completely inescapable. Superboy almost punches him for it. Almost. 

He really should. 

He doesn’t even know why Superman stopped him. Superman never stops him when he leaves, no matter what kind of mood he’s in. Superman’s usually the one to leave first anyway, so it’s only fair if Superboy gets to do it sometimes too. 

He can never stop him from leaving, so why wouldn’t Superman just pretend to return the stupid favor? 

“Let me go!” he yells at him, and Superman tightens his grip on his arm and looks–weird. Weird and unsettled and weird, and Superboy–Superboy just–

Tana didn’t do anything to him. Nothing he wasn’t up for, anyway. Knockout either. 

Even Robin didn’t, even with the stupid hair-yanking and lying about not having a condom and–and calling him–calling him a–

That’s what he is. He’s all the things Robin called him and a lot more besides. 

He didn’t have to lie about the stupid condoms, though. 

Superboy really, really hates that Robin lied about the condoms, and he doesn’t even know why. He just–Robin didn’t have to do that. He was doing what the guy wanted anyway. He didn’t have to fucking lie about anything. He could’ve just, like–said he didn’t wanna use ‘em, or–or something. He could’ve just . . . 

“Wait,” Superman says, and Superboy really does almost punch him. “Just–wait. Please. Just . . .” 

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Superboy says tightly, gritting his teeth. “I solved the Riddler’s stupid puzzle and I kept Robin from getting blown up and I didn’t even break anything this time, so–so fuck off, I don’t wanna hear a lecture, and I definitely don’t wanna hear anything you think about Tana.” 

Tana’s nice to him. 

People aren’t, mostly. But Tana–she’s nice to him. She spends time with him and she talks to him about stuff besides just work or his image or Superman and she makes sure he has a good time even when it’s something that feels a little weird or he gets freaked out for no reason, and like, yeah, she dumped him again, but she’ll change her mind again soon anyway like always, and then he’ll just have to try a little harder or whatever, and just–just be a little more of what she wants, until he finally is what she wants. Like–they’re getting there. He just has to “mature” a little more or whatever, and sleep around a little less, and just–just be– 

He just has to be a little more of what she wants. He can do that, for her.

[bekolxeram]

I was reading a lot of fics about Tommy discovering Buck's new found stress baking habit post reunion, then this cringy idea popped into my mind. Now you get to suffer with me.

NSFW-ish

Lukewarm water, 360 grams. Honey, 10 grams. Dry yeast, 7 grams. Mix. Flour, 5… wait, no, wrong flour. Where’s my god damn bread flour? When was the last time I made bread? Oh yes, last month, right before Tommy and I got back together, it should be around… Ah, there, found it! No...

No!

Don’t get sentimental now, there’s no place for melancholy tonight.

“Sexy thoughts. Sexy thoughts.” Buck mutters to himself, desperately trying to stop his wandering mind from ruining his mood.

Think of Tommy. Hot, sexy, pilot.

The cyclic looks so small in his big yet surgically precise hand. It almost seems like he’s telepathically flying the chopper with his mind, not with his strong, steady arm. His fingers are long enough to engulf the control stick completely and more, sometimes he has to twist his wrist around just to flick the top… uh… the button on top.

He can feel the fabric of his sweatpants straining against his hip. The tight cotton shirt he picked out especially for the night feels extra tight around his rapidly warming skin. Good, it seems like his tactic is working.

And his pecs… that time when he wore nothing but his flight suit, umm... They’re so fun to play with, squeeze them, bite them, lick them, sleep on them, make them bounce. I don’t need to “explore” to be sure how much I love them. It’s not even about gender, I know a good pair when I see one.

Stop. No. He’s apologized. I’ve apologized. We’re all good.

It feels like all we do these days is to apologize, then have make up sex. Not saying it’s not good sex, but I want that light, fun sex we used to have, before we…

Don’t, don’t go there.

Anyway, oh, his beautiful face. The one stubborn strand of hair on his forehead that always refuses to comply with any hair product. The constellation of freckles scattered across his perfectly shaped nose. The sensual curve of his lips. The creases around his eyes and his cheeks when his whole face is lit up by that classic scrunchy smile. I swear they look even more prominent now… Oh! How could I forget, that delicious cleft on his chin. If there’s one saving grace coming out of the breakup, it’s his decision to double, no, triple his effort at the gym. His facial features look that much more striking on his now leaner body. Who gets over a heartbreak by becoming a Greek statue anyway? Pick up baking like a normal person, please.

Wait, I’m thinking about the breakup, aren’t I? Don’t. Don’t! Ugh… too late.

Buck lightly bangs his head against the counter in frustration. Deciding to focus on the task at hand instead, he promptly weighs out his flour, sprinkles in a pinch of salt, then pours the bubbly yeast mixture into the dry ingredients.

Just as he’s about to put his hands to work, he’s interrupted by a familiar rhythm at the door. Quickly wiping his hands on his apron, then pushing the waistband of his pants down by half an inch for Tommy’s viewing pleasure, he goes on to greet the man he’s been waiting for.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Tommy apologizes as he’s entering the loft. “I believe the infamous LA traffic still hasn’t recovered from the emergency freeway landing last year.”

“No, no, it’s alright,” Buck shoots him a reassuring smile, clearly delighted by having his beloved in his space again. “Make yourself at home, I’ll be right with you. I need to finish this dough first.”

“But I thought you said you wanted to relax tonight? Aren’t we just gonna order takeout?” Tommy’s visibly confused by Buck’s ongoing culinary endeavor.

“Oh, this? This is not for tonight. It has to proof until at least tomorrow morning,” Buck replies absentmindedly, his hands continue kneading the dough without pause.

“You don’t have to, Evan. I’m okay with no breakfast at all,” Tommy walks around the kitchen counter to give the hardworking baker a kiss on the temple. “As long as I’m with you.”

“Um… no, I’m making these because my parents are coming to town.”

“Tomorrow morning?!”

“In a month. They’re coming to see Maddie in a month. I’m just stress baking because they…” Buck lets out a sarcastic laugh, “they stress me out.”

“Ahhh… is that so? Well, I’m happy to have learned this about you. I never knew you could bake.”

“I couldn’t. I picked it up recently, after you…” Those dreaded words have already slipped out of his mouth before Buck realizes. He’s been trying his damnedest to steer the night away from this particular direction, but as it turns out, he’s utterly powerless against the freight train of emotions he’s been keeping deep inside. He briefly considers changing the subject, but Tommy’s heard him already. He perks up his eyebrows, signaling Buck to finish his sentence.

It’s better to rip off the band aid now, than to let it snowball into something unstoppable.

“...after you dumped me,” Buck comes clean reluctantly.

Tommy drops his eyes and sighs in understanding, before gently wrapping his arms around Buck from behind. “I’m sorry, baby,” he presses his lips onto the golden curls in front of him.

“Chimney told me, you have a tendency to run away if you’re being pushed too hard. I should wait for you to reach out instead of… the other way around.” Buck keeps working on his dough, intentionally averting his gaze from the man behind him.

“Mmhmm.”

“It was… agonizing. I saw you everywhere. I saw you at home, I saw you at the fire house. I saw you at the coffee shop. I saw you when a helicopter passed by in the sky. You were like… a ghost, haunting me, every waking moment of my life. You know what? Not even just waking, you were haunting my dreams, too. The only thing that managed to stop me from texting you was baking. I had all the supplies at home because I was planning to surprise you with a cake for your birthday but…”

Tommy abruptly lets go and backs off. While Buck fully expects the night to be ruined after his long winded ramble, he mourns the sudden loss of contact nonetheless.

Still not looking up from the increasingly elastic mass on the counter, Buck continues, “I just have to knead it for… um… 5 more minutes, then I’m all yours. Let’s start over, yeah? I’m over it, I’m okay now. Let’s forget about it and just… chill. There’s this movie I…” He’s cut off by Tommy’s return, arms secured around his waist once again, chest pressed firmly against his back, the only difference being that Buck can feel Tommy’s body heat radiating this time.

“Ghost, you said?” Tommy whispers, lips barely grazing the hair standing on Buck’s nape.

“Yeah…” Buck shivers. He turns his head slightly to take a peek at the man behind him.

Yes, Tommy’s shirtless.

“Mmm, keep going,” Tommy demands, hands sliding under the hem of Buck’s shirt to roam around his midsection, lips softly connected to the side of his neck.

So Buck keeps going. Press. Rotate. Press. Rotate. Press. Rotate. Press. Rotate.

He feels two big hands caressing his shoulders, along his arms, then all the way down to his own busy hands.

“What are you making?”

“Ba — Bagels.”

“Umm… I love bagels,” Tommy lazily drags his mouth from Buck’s neck to his shoulder, leaving a trail of delicate kisses behind, “do you know how I like to take it?”

“How…?”

Tommy props his head back up, chin resting on the younger man’s shoulder. “Plain, with cream cheese,” he breathes straight into Buck’s ear. “So much cream cheese that it… oozes out everywhere. Leaking from the side, through the middle…” his tongue darts out to give that spot right underneath the earlobe an inquisitive lick. “I love it when it gets all over my face, painting my mouth white.”

Buck’s previously regular cadence starts faltering. He doesn’t know when to press or when to rotate the dough anymore.

“Hey, let me help you with that,” Tommy grabs a hand full of the dough, and squeezes, hard. Yet, the dough barely budges. “Oh, am I doing it wrong?”

Buck can’t help but giggle. “You have to knead with your palms, not your fingers. Here, let me show you,” he covers Tommy’s right hand with his own, and pushes the heel of his palm into Tommy’s wrist. “You want to fold the dough onto itself, then roll your palm out while pressing down. A bagel dough is supposed to be pretty stiff, so feel free to put your whole body weight into it.”

“Like this?” Tommy mimics exactly what Buck just showed him.

“I’ll give you an A,” Buck turns his head around, meeting Tommy’s gaze. Their faces are so close together, they can feel each other breathing. “You’re a fast learner.”

“I have the best teacher,” Tommy murmurs.

They naturally gravitate towards each other, like two stars on a collision course, until their lips clash together into a sloppy, filthy open-mouthed kiss.

Pulling back slightly to gasp for air, Buck’s pupils are completely blown out, leaving merely a thin icy ring around his dark pool of arousal. “You can use both hands if you want…”

“Let me try that,” Tommy surrounds Buck in his arms, pinning him against the kitchen surface. Then, he starts working on the dough, using his entire body, making sure to time every pressing motion with a thrust from the hip, rocking the younger man into the edge of the counter.

“Mmm — Ah…” the friction generated by Tommy’s movement alone is enough to make Buck moan. He never thought baking could be this erotic. “That — That works…”

He allows himself to enjoy Tommy’s sweet show of strength for a few moments before firmly gripping Tommy’s wrists, stilling him. “It’s — It’s done. Now we put it back into the mixing bowl,” he hastily drops the dough into the metal container, causing a loud thud, “and leave it in the fridge overnight.”

Tommy gives him one more kiss on the cheek, and a pat on his lower back, “go,” then steps aside.

Buck nearly trips over his own feet walking towards the fridge. He hears water running in the background, probably over Tommy’s talented hands. Wrapping up the stainless steel bowl with more than enough plastic wrap, then shoving the whole thing into an empty corner of his fridge, Buck is all too eager to return to Tommy’s touch.

Slamming the fridge door close, Buck whips his head around in a millisecond to catch an eye full of Tommy in his shirtless glory for the first time in the night. He’s drying his hands with a kitchen towel, finger by finger, his biceps flex every time he rubs a digit clean.

Buck walks straight up to the object of his desire, waiting no time to close their distance. Hooking an elbow around Tommy’s neck, he pulls him into a deep, urgent kiss, while his free hand travels down from Tommy’s clavicle towards his nipple.

“Wait,” Tommy stops the exploring hand on its track, “wash your hands first.”

Buck groans in frustration. He unties the knot in his back, takes off his apron, then swiftly treks towards the kitchen sink to prepare himself for the ensuing nighttime activities.

Tommy follows him, settling snugly behind Buck while he’s cleaning his hands. Tommy slowly dips his mischievous fingers into Buck’s waistband, pleasantly surprised to find bare skin underneath.

“Oh, no underwear? Someone’s eager tonight,” Tommy says in a seductive tone.

Roughly drying his hands on his own shirt, Buck spins around to face Tommy, “I’ve been waiting for you to notice…” Feeling Tommy’s fingers tapping the hem of his top, Buck peels it off right away, letting those enormous hands roam free across his body.

“Bed?” Tommy asks in between kisses.

“Couch.” Buck pants.

Just when Buck’s calculating in his head the logistics of moving to the couch without breaking contact with his man, Tommy withdraws his hand from Buck’s bare skin.

“Hold on tight,” Tommy suddenly grabs onto the back of Buck’s thighs and lifts him clear off the ground, carrying him towards the underside of the loft.

[devildomwriter]

You Go To See A Christmas Carol Part IV

It’s intermission and it’s not going quietly, if anything it’s getting much worse even with the cops gone.

Mammon: “…”

Satan: “You’re awfully quiet Mammon…”

Mammon: “Do you guys think I love money more than people?”

Everyone: “Yes.”

Mammon: “…”

Mammon: “Ya don’t think a ghost’ll come after me though right?”

Solomon: “I can arrange it.”

Lucifer: “So can I.”

Diavolo: “That sounds like great fun.”

Mammon: “Hell no, don’t you dare! Some ghost ain’t gonna teach me a lesson or make me cry dammit!”

Belphegor: “Then why were you wiping away tears when Belle left, huh?”

Luke: “Wow Belphie you actually stayed awake?”

Belphegor: “I enjoy watching Mammon’s future play out in front of him.”

Diavolo: “Hahahaha.”

MC: “Well, I think I need a drink, where was that bar?”

Lucifer: “I’ll show you.”

MC: “Can you walk there?”

Lucifer: “I only had two beers, that’s water to me.”

MC: “If you say so.”

Diavolo: “Perhaps I’ll get a drink too.”

Barbatos: “I can fetch it for you Young Master.”

Diavolo: “Thank you Barbatos.”

Solomon: “So…”

Diavolo: “…”

Solomon: “Are we gonna prank Mammon later?”

Diavolo: “Message me.”

Solomon: “Right.”

Mammon: “You guys are being suspicious!”

Asmodeus: “I’m back! What did I miss!”

Everyone: “Asmo!”

Asmodeus: “Hey guys! I could hear most of the play, that Scrooge guy is a lot like Mammon, yeah?”

Satan: “Sadly the resemblance is so uncanny I cannot separate the two in my mind anymore. You ruined a Christmas Carol for me Mammon!”

Mammon: “What the hell did I do?”

Simeon: “Well there’s still the ending, right Satan? And I’m sure Mammon won’t be so much like the character then?”

Mammon: “Huh? Does something happen to Scrooge?”

Simeon: “I’m not going to spoil anything for you.”

Mammon: “So…Asmo. What were you up to?”

Asmodeus: “More like who was I in to?”

Simeon: “Luke let’s get some popcorn.”

Diavolo: “I think I’ll go find Barbatos.”

Belphegor: “Beelzebub let’s get some refills.”

Beelzebub: “Okay.”

Solomon: “You know I think I’d like to hear this story too.”

Asmodeus: “Ugh, they’re all such prudes! But not you Solomon.”

Solomon: “I don’t know if that’s a compliment…”

Asmodeus: “Yeah so anyway I just charmed the cops so they thought everything was fine. They were kinda confused about why they were there to begin with but they got one look at me and that’s all they needed!”

Solomon: “You didn’t charm them, right?”

Asmodeus: “Into having sex?”

Asmodeus: “Hell no. I’m not into that dubious consent stuff, not unless it’s roleplay.”

Solomon: “Well that’s all I need to know. Where are they now?”

Asmodeus: “I sent them on their way. Told them they need a vacation from all this mess.”

Solomon: “Well they’re probably not even in the city anymore if you told them to leave…”

Asmodeus: “Aren’t I so kind! I’m even sending people on vacations!”

Solomon: “Sure…”

Mammon: “Hey Asmo? Didn’t ya have some fancy necklace on earlier?”

Asmodeus: “My Devicci? What! Where is it!? Mammon you didn’t take it did you!”

Mammon: “No! I was gonna though that’s why I noticed!”

Asmodeus: “Ugh! I probably dropped it in that room! Mammon come help me find it.”

Mammon: “Why me!?”

Asmodeus: “As punishment for trying to steal it!”

Mammon: “Fine.”

MC: “Oh, hey Asmo. Where are you going?”

Asmodeus: “My necklace!”

MC: “What!?”

Mammon: “His necklace!”

MC: “…okay then. I think I’ll get a second beer in case…”

Lucifer: “You’re a lightweight we’ll start you small. You’re in front of Diavolo and Luke remember?”

MC: “Right. Can’t embarrass myself in front of him, that’d be a nightmare. You’re used to it though so you can have my beer instead.”

Lucifer: “Hold on a minute?”

MC: “The lights are blinking we need to head back.”

Solomon: “Welcome back you two.”

MC: “Where did everyone else go?”

Solomon: “They weren’t interested in hearing about Asmo’s escapades.”

MC: “Oh. So are the cops gone?”

Solomon: “They are somewhere.”

MC: “Not here though?”

Solomon: “Not those two, no.”

MC: “Okay good. I didn’t see any on the way to the drinks either.”

Solomon: “I see. It must’ve calmed down then.”

Lucifer: “Finally. I don’t want to have to deal with anything else tonight, that fiasco earlier was enough.”

MC: “Yeah. They really thought Levi was trying to trap me too.”

Lucifer: “Hehe, Levi?”

MC: “The officer guy out front was really worried about me, I didn’t mean to scare him. He gave me a line to call if I needed help, Levi took the card to look up what it was and now he’s suspicious. …Where did he go anyway?”

Leviathan: “I’ve been here the entire time, how could you not notice me?”

MC: “What? You didn’t leave when Asmo was talking about…stuff?”

Leviathan: “Did he say something weird? I had my headphones on.”

MC: “Nope…”

MC: “Okay, so everyone’s here except for Mammon and Asmodeus…”

Luke: “No! Mammon has to see the end of the play! It’s really important.”

MC: “Luke I hate to break it to you but this play isn’t gonna set him straight.”

Luke: “Aww.”

Satan: “It was getting to him though.”

MC: “We can show him the movie.”

Luke: “There’s a movie?”

MC: “Yeah, we can watch it together later if you want.”

Luke: “Yeah!”

The countdown projected onto the curtains stopped and the theatre went dark. Murmurs turned to whispers and all was quiet as the story resumed.

Meanwhile, downstairs Asmo and Mammon were scrambling.

Mammon: “It’s stupid dark down here.”

Asmodeus: “Ugh I know! We have nocturnal vision why is it still so dark!?”

Mammon: “Do we have nocturnal vision? Did we ever get that…?”

Asmodeus: “Umm, I think we do?”

Mammon: “What is this place anyway? Buncha giant—aaaaah!”

MC: “Did you guys hear a scream just now?”

Lucifer: “…”

MC: “Never mind.”

[The Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge his assistant spending time with his family and crippled young son, Tiny Tim. Even Scrooge’s heart is warmed by the young boy.]

[He is then zipped to his nephew’s Christmas party. The bright home is full of giant presents and fancifully dressed guests and Scrooge begs to stay. As the day continues the ghost begins to age.]

Luke: “Ew, how did they do that with his face?”

Simeon: “Makeup?”

Satan: “I think it’s a trick of the light?”

MC: “He looks like he’s melting. Solomon, you’re so far past that stage of life.”

Solomon: “Haha, you have no proof.”

Asmodeus: “Mammon you gave me a heart attack!”

Mammon: “Th-Th-That thing…”

Asmodeus: “Huh? Ooooh, it’s the Grim Reaper, looks like a giant costume that someone stands in like a puppet! How neat!”

Mammon: “Wait? Are we in the prop room?”

Sounds of squeaking wheels echo in the room as something large is being moved.

Staff A: “Get the reaper prop ready! And dim the lights just a little, we don’t want the audience to see anything!”

Staff B: “On it! Casey come help me with this thing.”

Mammon: “Shit! Hide!”

Asmodeus: “Shh! Be quiet! What are we supposed to hide in, they’re gonna turn the lights back on.”

Mammon: “This thing, there’s a door!”

Asmodeus: “Hurry, hurry!”

Staff B: “Did you hear something?”

Staff C: “Maybe it was a ghost?”

Mammon: “G-ghost?”

Asmodeus: “I cannot believe you’re my brother, they’re talking about us, dimwit.”

[The ghost of Christmas present reveals two small deformed children, Want and Ignorance.]

MC: “Damn he just defined my whole generation.”

[The ghost laughs as he dies and fades into nothing.]

MC: “Yeah, that’s still really accurate to my generation…”

Luke: “That was amazing!”

Beelzebub: “That’s pretty sad…”

Simeon: “You have such a kind heart Beelzebub.”

Beelzebub: “He was so big. Like jelly.”

Luke: “Huh? Did you think he looked tasty!?”

[As the second ghost disappears Scrooge recoils as the third ghost confronts him looking like a grim reaper.]

[Scrooge is taken by the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come through several scenes of people talking about and celebrating a man’s death.]

[Two men discuss the riches he left behind.]

[Others trade and sell the man’s things.]

[A couple rejoices that their cruel creditor is dead.]

[Scrooge begs to know the name of the dead man and is faced with his own gravestone. Scrooge pleads for his fate to be changed and promises to renounce his greedy, uncaring ways and finds himself back in his bed Christmas morning.]

Luke looked relieved unsure how this was going to play out and Diavolo smiled at the turn of events despite having seen this play before.

You grinned and held his hand choosing to relax but that was quickly changed.

Staff B: “This box is a lot heavier than I remember?”

Staff C: “Didn’t they put the toys in here or some kinda confetti canon?”

Staff B: “Oh yeah.”

Mammon: “…”

Asmodeus: “…Mammon.”

Mammon: “Yep…we’re dead.”

[Scrooge attends his Nephew’s party full of giant gifts and is welcomed inside.]

Scrooge: “I’m here… If you’ll have me.”

Nephew: “Uncle! I told them you would come!”

Nephew: “Come in! Come in! Martha the present!”

[The present burst open with confetti and a loud scream.]

Lucifer: “…”

Diavolo: “…”

Satan: “…”

Barbatos: “…”

Solomon: “…”

Simeon: “…”

Belphegor: “…”

Beelzebub: *munch* *munch*

Leviathan: “…”

Luke: “Huh!?”

Mammon: “…”

Asmodeus: “…”

Actors: “…”

Lucifer: “Hehe…hehehehe…”

Diavolo: “Oh dear.”

MC: “Umm…Lucifer…”

Solomon: “Where do you suppose he’s going.”

Diavolo: “…This isn’t going to go well…”

Mammon: “What do we do?”

Asmodeus: “Start singing?”

Without prompt, Mammon and Asmo begin trying to sing a carol in unison.

Nephew: “My it appears a few of my guests had a bit too much to drink.”

Scrooge: “You see them too?”

Nephew: “Why of course? You didn’t think you were seeing things now did you uncle? Besides I need not see them, it’s impossible to not hear such a ratchety sound.”

Mammon: “Ratchedy!? I’ll show you!”

Asmodeus: “Sweetie you were so off-tune, calm down!”

Scrooge: “Who’s that at the door?”

Nephew: “My, I don’t believe we’re expecting more guests. Perhaps carolers have graced our manor today to make up for this awful intrusion.”

Diavolo: “…”

Belphegor: “…”

Barbatos: “…”

MC: “Yep, he’s drunk.”

Dressed in the style of the cast, something he no doubt stole from another unfortunate actor lucifer walked into the scene like he belonged there.

Lucifer: “Pardon me good sirs I’ve come to collect a few uninvited guests I believe they mixed up the addresses on the invitations I sent out.”

Nephew: “Yes, please do collect your friends, I’m afraid they’re in quite the state given how horribly they’re dressed.”

Asmodeus: *gasp* “You did not just say that to me!”

Mammon: “Here we go.”

Asmodeus: “I AM fashion! You filthy peasants should be honored to lay your eyes upon me.”

Mammon: “On three?”

Lucifer: “Up you go!”

Asmodeus: “Hey don’t you dare carry me away like some drunk! I don’t care who these people are pretending to be they do not get to critique my style when they’re dressed like British hobos from the 16th century! I would know! I was there!”

The audience claps as Lucifer and Mammon carry Asmodeus off stage.

Previous • Next

[themachineshepherd]

Better in the dark.

(a t4t ftm fiddauthor fic with nsfw mentions! love ya)

Fiddleford and Ford have been trying for a while now to..be physically intimate with one another. There’s often heated make out sessions, pulling at hair, marking, all the good stuff, yet.. they still haven’t had sex.

You see; Fiddleford and Ford are both transmen, and are both afraid of the other seeing them naked. Yet, they both crave intimacy with each other.

Fidds hadn’t been as consistent on his testosterone as Ford has, he felt terrified of his lover seeing his “under developed” body.

he cursed himself every time the mention of sex came up. He felt small and feminine compared to the hunkier man, he didn’t want to disappoint him with a body that he didn’t even like.

Ford, on the other hand, was just plainly afraid of being seen as less than a man. The thought of Fidd’s being unhappy with his dick was nauseating. He wanted to be able to fulfill ever desired Fiddleford had, but he felt like he couldn’t. Not with this deformed body.

It was about time to head for bed, the two did their normal nightly routine; lots of kisses, brushing teeth, and soft i love you’s, then lights out. It was so quiet in their shared room that you could hear a pin drop, the silence felt absolutely horrible to Ford.. he desperately wanted to tell his lover how much he needed him.

So he did.

“Hey, Fidds? You awake?..”

“huh..? mhm, yeah.. what’s goin’ on, sugar?”

“Can we talk..?”

Fidds felt himself tense up, “Can we talk?” What!? What was going to happen? What was Ford going to say!!?

“Yeah….?” Fidds replied, voice soft.

“I want to have sex with you.” Ford huffed out swiftly, he needed to rip the bandage off and just go for it, or he’d NEVER say it again.

Fiddleford jumped a little, did Ford really want to have sex with him? Ford felt the movement and reached over to the smaller man, rubbing circles on his back. “Is that okay? Are you upset with me? I’m sorry if that was too much-“

“NO! No, i, i want that too. ‘M just.. I don’t want you to see me.. im afraid.”

“I am too, but, I want to try with you.. if you’ll let me! I want to see you, feel you, I want to know everything about your body..” Fiddleford couldn’t see it; but Ford’s face was beet red. What was he saying!? What if he was making Fiddleford uncomfortable?

“‘M scared you’ll think I’m gross, Stanford.. I don’t want you to be disgusted by me.” Is all Fidds replied with, a deep sigh escaping his lips.

“Honey, there isn’t a single thing that could ever, and i mean EVER, make me feel that way about you. You’re so perfect and handsome, I bet you’re even better below.” Ford stroked the brunettes hair gently, reassuring him with gentle touches and words of affirmation.

“Should we keep the lights off? You might like me more if the lights are off-“

“I can assure you, I’d like you any single way. Lights on or off, that’s all up to you, my love. I just want you to be comfortable, okay..? I’m.. also really scared, I don’t want you to expect something amazing and then ruin it with my non existent penis.” Ford chucked slightly, almost playing it off like it was a joke, it was not.

Fiddleford laughed sincerely, he didn’t care if Stanford had a dick or not, what mattered to him was simply being intertwined. “Hon.. ‘m so behind on my t that im definitely smaller than you.. if anything, im scared you’ll be disappointed with mine.” He slightly positioned himself in front of Ford, grinding playfully on him.

“Lets do lights on, okay?” Fidd’s said; I want to be able to be seen by you.. even if ‘m scared shitless.” The two laughed, “Sure, baby.” Ford replied, kissing the other man softly.

(sorry I fucked this up so bad im so tired and had a long day im going to edit this later .. love you gays)

[waugh-bao]

Do you think in the "Out of Tears" video the cameras just happened to be rolling when Charlie went in the telephone booth to call Shirley and ask her to come pick him up from this bloody music video set and then captured his disappointment when he realized it was just a prop? I do.

[margridarnauds]

People are not required to like the Wicked movie (I haven’t seen it yet + haven’t listened to the album on Spotify so I don’t spoil it) BUT…if your reason for not liking it/refusing to watch it VERY LOUDLY is Cynthia Erivo, as a WOC who’s been subjected to scrutiny since the moment her casting was announced, expressing her discomfort with a fan edit…and you think that Colm Wilkinson is a sweet old grandpa who was a highlight of the Les Miserables movie…or you thought that LMM absolutely had a point about bootlegs/or were like. Blocking people over WATCHING Hamilton bootlegs back in the day. Or if you like Finding Neverland or Tanz Der Vampire…or the new West Side Story…you really don’t have much of a leg to stand on.

Likewise for if you’re REALLY CONCERNED about Ariana Granda and Ethan Slater’s…thing and you’re still like. Watching Legally Blonde the Musical. Or looking forward to a Hugh Jackman film. You ALSO don’t have a leg to stand on.

[thebookworm0001]

ideas beginning to solidify for post veilguard fic things

[blossoms-phan]

all we’re going to get is a spooky week video isn’t it

[atopvisenyashill]

i don’t care that rhaenyra’s oldest are illegitimate not bc i’m a targ stan who thinks she can do no wrong but because legitimacy is a social construct that does nothing more than enforce the patriarchy and class system, and rhaenyra having kids out of wedlock with a man she is consenting to sex with is fine, actually, and if you’re hung up on that it is my opinion that you are clinging to the rules of propriety and patriarchy when analyzing her because you think she should be punished for having sex outside marriage and not like, all the things she actually does that are morally wrong, which is like, textbook misogyny.

“but the lords” so the thing is i don’t give a shit if the lords think she’s a slut. i understand the time period bc not only am i not stupid, i also understand that it is still a big issue in many communities for mothers to have children out of wedlock. i am saying i do not care because it’s a fake issue the way “brienne can’t really be a knight because she’s a woman” and “sansa can’t rule winterfell when she has true born younger brothers” or whatever else. legitimacy is a tool of the patriarchy, of colonialism irl, of classism, and the argument “rhaenyra is a bad person for having children out of wedlock when she knew that would put them in danger” is stupid bc legitimacy doesn’t fucking matter and neither does marriage.

[trevisos]

there was smth immensely satisfying about planning out and making a character i conceptualized as nonmonogamous from the beginning and then being able to actually have that conversation with their romance partner in game

[clownsnake]

dokja doing his best time and time again to help junghyeok with regressor depression…. I see the sauce being cooked here

[metalcorebarbie]

x

[phoeeling]

I don't even know where people are getting the totally-canon "implied bisexuality" from.... like maybe I'm dumb but I didn't catch any of that in the show???? Like I'm not against either of them being bi but everyone acts like it was confirmed in canon and I feel so lost lol. It just feels like they're grasping at straws to justify their ship being "queer" (as if that has anything to do with why most people don't like it....) and so they can call anti-huntlows biphobic or whatever.

It’s from this, I believe. Hunter sewed a sweater with a rainbow that has what looks like toned down colours of the Bi flag? And Willow being pan comes from the star by her head having the same colours as the pan flag, despite different shades.

Which I think is reading a little into it, because they use like the exact shades and colours for the Bi flag (and the Lesbian flag which I think appears as a sticker?) in that episode. And again, the people who do the design for things like the sweater Hunter sewed, who would’ve put the rainbow there, don’t necessarily pick out the colours used for those designs. Colour design is a separate job.

[badolmen]

Back in my day the gay pirate show had interracial lesbian sex episode fucking one. Have these guys even boned on screen with their dicks out? Are they tackling the nuances of slavery, colonialism, and a rapidly expanding empire with no room for people like them on an interpersonal and societal scale? Have they even tried to kill each other yet???