#They were there for a the firsts of a lot of things haha
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michael kaiser
married life
tw: toxic relationship, abusive
you and your (not so) beloved michael kaiser finally decided to tie the knot. well, he decided, and you obliged. because what else are you supposed to do? you wouldn’t ever betray him, everything he wants is what you want too. he has you so well trained, doesn’t he? you went along with it because of how docile you are, how you’re basically putty in his hands. but you also had your own selfish reasoning, but you aren’t ready to admit that to yourself yet. no, you hoped that if you became his wife, maybe, just maybe, the tenderness he sometimes showed would be more common, the nosebleeds he bestowed upon you with his cruel fists would subside, the gentle nature he has somewhere inside of him would come out more often.
unfortunately for you, that’s not how michael kaiser works. and i think you know that too, don’t you? so why do you keep up the hope? you’re a true masochist, and he’s a true sadist. a very dangerous pair. dangerous for you, the one who subjects yourself to kaiser’s brutality willingly (it seems that way these days).
don’t get him wrong, kaiser yearns for love, yearns to be loved, yearns for you to keep on loving him ‘till the very end. and he knows you will, because you don’t have any other choice. michael kaiser is truly a master of his craft, a skilled manipulator and a very intelligent man. and now that you’re his wife, things really became a whole lot easier for him. he knows he has it drilled into your pretty little head that the only thing good for you in this world is him. him, him, him, him, him. pleasing him. loving him. being with him. being so sweet to him after he’s so mean to you.
he loves you and you love him. so why does the love he feels for his cute wife manifest in the most atrocious of ways? you know, he’s always making dumb excuses for why he’s this way. he thought if he was loved he would stop, then he thought if he got a girlfriend he would stop, then he thought that if he married you he would be able to stop too. he’s ran out of excuses now. he’s fucked up, all that psychology he’s polished up on throughout his life, all those books on human traumas and emotions, they should have made him realise what he really needs is the drive to change and a therapist a million times better than the average one. but he’s a little ignorant too, in that sense. or he was, he realises it sometimes, but he ignores it.
and besides, he’s not exactly one to complain about the arrangement you guys have. especially after marriage. you became so much more perfect, he didn’t even know it was possible. you’re the perfect, doting little housewife. and you’re all for him too, so cute, so docile. you like it too, but kaiser made you. you’re a little too stupid, a little too trusting and a lot too in love with kaiser to realise it. if you were just a little bit more intelligent than the girl he first met, he’s sure you would have realised something was seriously up by now. but it’s fine, ‘cause wits were never your strong point, nope, your sweet obedient nature was. and kaiser likes that.
you’re a great housewife. and he’s a great husband, you think. you’re in the kitchen, cleaning up, wearing a sweet little outfit kaiser bought for you. he’s so generous, he doesn’t have to spend money on you, yet he does. isn’t he just the best? so expensive too, he spends his hard earned money on you? isn’t your husband seriously just the best? you’re dressed in a cute vintage style dress, hair tied up into a cute ribbon and a cute pair of slippers and socks to go with it. haha, you don’t even realise it, but you’re playing right into kaiser’s weird fantasy. he always had a thing for housewives, everything. so now he has you dressed as one cleaning the kitchen whilst he’s hard at work. maybe he’s so obsessed with this dynamic because he never had it himself, his mother packed up and left as soon as he was born, of course. and his dad was an abusive sack of shit. fucking bitches. pieces of shit. ah, he’s getting worked up. he shakes off that feeling.
today, he tried to release as much of that pent up rage into the match. and he won, as always. he’s the emperor of the world. he wanted to get out all of his anger, because what he wants more than anything today is to be a normal couple with you. but that’s not going to happen, it never does.
he walks in, “where is mein engel, hm?” he stands waiting at the door, waiting for you to come greet him like you always do. after getting married you established this new routine. and you do come, you come so quickly to him and stand on your tip toes to kiss his cheek oh so lightly. “micha, i missed you sooo much” you bat your eyelashes at him. he has you trained so well, it’s impressive. you’re like some cute puppy, you’re actually incredibly well trained. he thinks he should indulge in this idea some time, he just likes any scenario where you’re completely submitting to him. but he shakes that thought off, he won’t get distracted for too long.
he wraps his arm around your waist and walks you to the couch, where he sits down and you stand in front of him, between his legs, looking down at him so innocently. you’re confused, maybe you’re not as well trained as he thought, because you sure don’t know what he wants right now. maybe a glass of wine? you go over to the wine cabinet and pull out a glass and pour in some wine.
kaiser is waiting impatiently, he trained you properly, didn’t he? so why the fuck aren’t you going along with what he wants. god, it’s pissing him off. he sees you walk away, ah, maybe you’re finally going to cook dinner as he wants. he picks up the tv remote and turns it to the bltv channel, today will be perfect, he’s going to simply sit with you, watch some soccer and then eat some nice homemad-
and there you are, standing in front of him looking oh so innocent holding out a glass of wine to him. are you fucking serious? you’re kidding right? you’re definitely doing this on purpose, don’t look so innocent. you’re just trying to piss him off, aren’t you? you fucking bitch. “what is this?” he asks you. he’s angry, but he’s being eerily calm. “wine, i thought you wanted a glass?” are you being dumb on purpose? no, you definitely did this to anger him, didn’t you? ah, he’s so mad now. “and why would i want a glass of wine, after such a long day of playing. wouldn’t i want a meal, hm? dumb girl” he patronises you. and you feel so small. “
but you do something unprecedented, something you haven’t ever done before… you have a… reply? you actually talk back? “y-yeah but how can i know what you want-“ enough. he’s even angrier now. why the fuck are you talking back to him instead of bowing and doing what he told you to do. you retarded whore. what the fuck? all that calmness is gone, he’s gritting his teeth.
poor you, you thought you could reason with him before he got mad, he seemed so calm. stupid, naïve you. you thought he wasn’t mad and now you’ll pay the price.
he knocks the glass out of your hand, the glass shatters everywhere, cutting your hand slightly. the wine pours on you, staining you red. and if that wasn’t bad enough, his fist hits you square in the nose. the pain doesn’t even register until you feel the first drops of blood, and then see them on that cute dress kaiser bought for you just days before. he’s towering above you, staring you down. you messed up, didn’t you? “you don’t talk back to me. ever. i didn’t teach you that. next time, keep your pretty mouth shut. you fucking bitch. did you forget your manners? that’s not how a girl like you should be acting. should i just find a new girl, hm?” he’s holding your throat with his tattooed hand. find a new girl????? no, don’t do that micha!!!! don’t do that to you, you didn’t mean to. but now you’re even doubting that, you definitely meant to. you just didn’t realise it. or something like that… it’s your fault.
he slightly releases the hold on your neck to let you talk, you have a chance to make things up with your words. a very slim chance. because he probably won’t care about what you have to say, whether it’s an apology or not. but he’s letting you talk, so use the opportunity before you get a black eye next too. “i-i’m sorry. i’m really incompetent” you don’t even make any attempt to grab his hands off of your throat, or even wipe up the blood streaming down your pretty lips. “i’ll not mess up again micha, i promise.”
your blood is covering part of his tattoo now too, he notices it and withdraws his hand, and laps up the blood. he always had an affinity for your blood, you taste so sweet. he likes tasting the hurt he’s caused you. it’s fulfilling, this is how he likes living. he loves hurting you, he doesn’t like admitting it often though, ironic for a monster like him. for some reason, that anger subsides. he’s not as mad anymore. maybe he’s going to apologise to you? you’re actually kind of hopeful for that, the small, rational part of you that knows it wasn’t your fault. but that part perishes as quickly as it was lit up. he ruffles your hair with his other hand and wipes the rest of the blood his tongue couldn’t quite clear up onto your rosy cheek. “it’s fine, don’t mess up again, ‘kay? i was nice this time, wasn’t i? you’ve had worse from me before. don’t take my mercy for granted, prinzessin.”
you’re so lucky for getting that mercy, thanks kaiser, isn’t he just so nice? you don’t even know how he managed to forgive you for such a horrible mistake. you’re a shitty wife, thank god your husband is so nice. and, ah, that dress, the one kaiser generously bought for you, it’s all ruined. all stained in the wine and blood. you ruined the dress with your incompetence. you messed everything up, god, why did he even marry you? you’re so stupid, and good for nothing.
he can tell what you’re thinking, he feels a little bad, but he’d rather you beat yourself up over it than him. it’s easier that way anyway. he pats your head again. “poor little thing, all bloodied up because of her own stupidity.” he chastises, and you look down in shame. he’s right, you’re so stupid. “let’s go get you cleaned up, little häschen.” and he does, he leads you to the bathroom sink, sits you on the side, and cleans the blood from you. he almost flinches at the newformed bend in your nose, and the bruise which just seems to be getting darker and changing between shades of nasty blues and purples every second. yikes, he forgets how delicate you are compared to him sometimes.
all you can think about is how generous he is, he hasn’t even changed out of his jersey yet. that’s how nice he is. and he’s bandaging you up too, a cute bandage to hide that hideous bruise. he wants to hide your mistake for you? that’s even sweeter, he doesn’t want you to look in the mirror and feel bad for it, right? that’s what he’s doing right? your husband really is the best.
and that night, you make up for your mistake. you serve him his favourite bread crust rusk, and a nice glass of water. get him changed into his robe. tie up his hair. give him blue-red glasses so he doesn’t hurt his eyes. you pamper him, ‘cause that’s what he deserves. you pamper him whilst ignoring that banging headache from the brutal assault on your nose. and the bruise on your neck. and arms. and legs. all from past outbursts of his. you tend to him and treat him like a king even though you’re so injured, but you’re too brainwashed by your husband, too eager to be the perfect housewife so he doesn’t leave you, and you end up ignoring all of this.
kaiser knows what you’re thinking, predictable little thing. he thinks you’re real stupid. he’s the one that should be scared of you leaving, he couldn’t ever find anyone better than you, anyone more willing. you’re perfect. but he won’t tell you that. he won’t give you an ego. keep being scared of being left alone, so that every second you spend with him you’re even more grateful. he’s scared too, but he’s confident most of the time you’re going to stay. he feels a little guilty for everything right now, ah, it’s one of those times. the weight of his actions presses heavy on him, but instead of taking it out on you again, he just pulls you next to him, opens his robe and drapes one side over you, feeds you a spoonful of your home cooked rusk and pinches your cheek affectionately.
“good girl, schatzi. so good. i love you. du gehörst für immer mir.” he nibbles at your ear a little.
and you just sit and blush. “i-i love you t-too micha, ‘s much.”
you’re the luckiest wife in the world, thank gosh your husband is so willing to put up with your incompetence and stupidity. being a wife is so great. you lean your head against his shoulder, and whilst you’re being so tender with each other, you can forget about all your physical pains caused by him, and he can forget about all of the things weighing and stabbing at his mind at all times, caused by everyone. you’re truly his safe place. a real angel sent from heaven.
“engelchen.”
#blue lock#blue lock x reader#dark content#michael kaiser x reader#bllk x reader#kaiser x reader#kaiser michael x reader#michael kaiser x y/n#kaiser x y/n
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omggg I have someeee
-Dean was the one to take care of Sam's hair when they were kids, he made sure that it didn't got tangled or greasy, because Sam wanted his hair to be long and Sam gets whatever he wants!
-Dean carries hairties in his pockets too, just in case Sam needs them, he would never say it out loud, of course.
-Dean is the one to iron their clothes, Sam knows how but Dean never allows him to!
Thank you for bringing this delicious food to me 😋
Dean taking care of Sam's hair:
Dean has always been in charge of getting Sammy ready for the day. He's also been the one in charge of giving Sammy a haircut when he needed one.
He needed one two weeks ago but Sammy made those stupid eyes and pleaded for Dean not to cut them. And Dean... well Dean didn't because Sammy looked like he really hated it.
So with two weeks worth of an overdue haircut, John notices. He orders Dean to take care of it. Dean tries to placate Sammy by promising ice-cream after but Sammy refuses. Eventually John ends up giving Sam a buzz cut in his anger. After that Dean lets Sam's hair grow as far as he can without pushing John's boundaries.
Dean takes great care of Sammy's hair. He always helps him wash it and then uncombs it.
Whenever John leaves them on their own, Dean lets Sam grow his hair as long as he can. In those times, he always has hairties in his pocket or on his wrist and is always quick to offer one to Sam when he notices his neck sweating. Sammy doesn't even have to ask for them. Dean just knows.
Related headcanon: X
Dean ironing their clothes:
So, John, Sam and Dean all wore unironed clothes until Sam entered kindergarten.
See, John didn't care what people thought so he didn't iron his clothes. Dean didn't really care either. He spent his first school years just waiting for the day to end so he could get back to Sammy.
But when Sammy enters kindergarten, he overhears some kids talking about his old wrinkled clothes and when he cries in front of Dean because of it, Dean snaps.
Dean learns how to wash, iron and sew clothes in the span of a week. He perfects these skills in the span of six months. He refuses to let Sam feel bad about the clothes he wears. He can't do anything about them being old but he can keep them clean and ironed and without holes.
Eventually, Dean realises he loves doing these chores because he's taking care of Sam. He doesn't ever try to push these things onto Sam.
Fast forward Sam doesn't know how to sew or iron clothes at all when he ends up in Stanford. He can barely work the washer. He learns how to iron his shirts but he hates it. He can't help but remember Dean when he does it.
When they get back together, Dean takes care of all these chores right away. One time, he finds Sam ironing his clothes while Dean had gone to bring breakfast and he almost has a mental breakdown. He takes the iron from Sam's hand and gives him the most ruthless glare he could muster.
Sam never irons his shirts again (except when Dean was gone). He doesn't even try. That's Dean's job and Sam knows it now.
(I don't know what I wrote. But Dean doing everything for Sam is my secret kink ;; Had a lot of fun with it haha)
#mommy dean monday#mommy dean headcanons#gencest#samdean#weirdcest#spn#mother dean winchester#spn fanfic#ask platsoulgen
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These are some good points! The number 7 shows up a lot in the show. There is another one that's fairly obvious and shows us that Mike has not forgotten what Will told him. I mean how could he? It was the last thing Will told him before he went missing. Mike wouldn't forget that even if doesn't understand the double meaning (yet).
At the end of season 1 the party defeats a seven-headed monster and then King Tristan hands out the medals of honor to the heroes.
I think it's also noteworthy that in 1983 Will and Mike have been friends for seven years as well.
As you said, Mike needs to figure out what Will said to him on the 6th November in 1983 and he will in season 5. I'm sure of that. It's right under his nose. Like the pen was and the can of 7-up. It'd be funny if it weren't so sad at the same time.
Some discussions on the possibility of Lucas, Dustin, Holly and Nancy being other alters under the cut
As for Dustin and Lucas I am not sure if they are real or not. However I do find it interesting that these two are the ones presenting Will with the option to either protect himself or attack the Demogorgon. Dustin pressuring Will to cast a shield spell and Lucas pressuring Will to attack with a fireball.
(I think it should also be noted that the alarms are already on. As seen in the very first scene in the science lab. The lights are flickering and a man is trying to escape. My guess is that Wills subconsciousness already picked up that the situation can get dangerous due to the looming threat of the (fictional) Demogorgon.)
The big thing with Lucas specifically is that it's him who tells Will that the number doesn't count as long as he doesn't tell Mike. That can just be circumstance as that's what happend in the real world. The dice landed on 7. That's an undeniable fact. However there is for sure also a double meaning behind it as Lucas words can be read as a reminder or even a warning not to spill secrets. As in an alter warning Will that the situation just got dangerous and he needs to be careful. There is also the fact that we don't see Lucas interact with any other member of the Wheeler family. It almost as if he isn't even there.
Same thing could not be said for Dustin though as he at the very least offers Nancy the last piece of pizza they got. This I think might make it more likely that he exists. Neither Lucas nor Dustin interact with Karen though.
I have just thought of this but do you know what would be really depressing? What if both Lucas and Dustin are actually alters and Mike knows about this and doesn't even question it? Like both Will and Mike have been bullied their entire life and don't have any other friends. I don't know if you can play a D&D campaign with only two people and with one of them being the Dungeon Master but I would at least assume that "the more the merrier" also rings true here. What if one day Will brought these two boys along, told Mike he found two friends who can speak through him and Mike just rolled with it and thought it's cool as they can now all play D&D together. If this happened at all both Will and Mike must have been much younger than they were in 1983. All of this is even more speculative than everything else though.
I guess at the very least we can assume that some alters existed before the day Will disappeared as if it's true what you've written in your post, it must have started before the age of 10. Will being seven would fit that criteria.
Back to the Wheelers though.
I agree with you on Holly. She is most likely also another alter. A child one. A little. My guess is that she represents Wills innocence before the ab*se started. In S4 she even has some bunny symbolism surrounding her which does not bode well for her. That toy she has with the lights. She creates a bunny with it.
kaypeace21 made some great points as to what bunny symbolism means in this post. (as you probably already know since I saw that post as a reblog on your blog haha) Still it should be noted that this mostly about Jonathon and not Will although it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that Lonnie forced Will to do the same thing he forced Jonathan to do.
More speculation on Holly Wheeler but we will be starting S5 in the fall of 1987 and this is just the right time for Holly to be seven (or eight) years old. We also know that someone will disappear in that season in the second episode. I know I'm not the first person to speculate that it might be Holly but I think there is a fair chance she will merge with the system.
Like Sara Hopper who was also child and probably around the same age as Holly before she died of cancer (and merged back into the system)
Bunny symbolism doesn't stop with Holly though. There is Billy Hargrove, Jim Hopper (rabbits do hop) and Janes room in Terrys house had quite a bit of bunny symbolism as well.
And in S4 Nancy also agrees to give Mr. Rabbit away who prior to this was in the attic. (hidden away and out of sight) This is also bunny symbolism but it's different from Holly. Like for Nancy it could mean a loss of innocence she accepts. She is ready to move on from this.
In the first 5 minutes of the show Dustin also notes that Nancy had a shift in personality which Mike denies as "she's always been a real jerk." Is this really just about Steve and Nancy being a sibling to Mike? Or is there something more at play here? The reason why I think it's important is because they spend such a large part of the first minutes of the show to tell us all of this. This is the time before things got weird. Before Will told Mike in a coded manner. It's the time where things are as normal as they can be. I feel it has to mean something but I can't say what exactly. Nancy is just huge puzzle I can't understand.
(I mean yeah of cause she could also be an introject alter which is probably the case but that raises the question as to who the real Nancy is?)
Thoughts?
#tw child abuse#stranger things#will byers#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#holly wheeler#nancy wheeler#mike wheeler#st meta#i also hope dustin and lucas are real#as well as nancy#but I think there is a fair chance they are not#i'm also in serious need of a rewatch st in general#and will do so with a certain thought in mind#and see if everything will make sense
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Hey don’t I know you
Bonus:
#Rescan#Doodles#LAC#Law Abiding Citizen#Doug Peterson#LAC Russ#So I've been thinking about it and I've said it a few times - LAC was my first fandom that I actually started posting sets about#Well aside from a singular set of a bunch of different Piplups lol - everything else after that has been singular images until LAC!#And because of that they never got the scanner/editing treatment#Far be it from me to go back to the very beginning and redo things but like - this is a little different isn't it#Just a polished rerelease isn't it#And I Have the old scans - the notebooks themselves are still in storage :( - so I can at least clean up what I've got on hand#Give a bit of retreatment to the old 2018 sets haha - at least between other things :)#Plus since these aren't available on my Patreon I can just go ahead and forgo that link in favour of linking to the original set(s)#I think it's nice :)#It's also a bit funny 'cause it was one of their (and TSP - the crossover set if anyone remembers that lol) that got me into scanning!#They were there for a the firsts of a lot of things haha#I've mostly just been missing them honestly <3 I'm always on my LAC bullshit but I went ahead and rewatched again recently#Had a couple new/return ideas and it's nice to make a nest of vibes and images to get into the groove of creation lol#I don't have to justify myself lol ♪ I just enjoy the idea of it#Don't be surprised if you see a few more of them :)
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happy 10th anniversary to the finale of the show that gave me my first real fandom community experience! 🥰💖🎉 so here's some art of merlin ✨️just holding✨️ arthur, then and now. (cries)
anyways arthur's back and he's cuddling with merlin and learning how to use a smart phone because i said so. that's the real ending. 😤
#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin fanart#merthur#merthur fanart#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#they were also my first slash ship lmaooo i was too repressed before haha#ngl a lot of merthur fic helped me out with a bunch of internalized trash so thanks yall 🙏#i became active on ao3 cuz of merthur and also started talking to ppl on tumblr more... lots of good things.#i have tattoos for this ship#so happy tenth anniversary :')))#i'll be posting christmas art tomorrow!
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epic sims janeway moments (to be continued)
#dont worry that ghost janeway looked sad. the first thing that she did after she rose from her grave was trying to fuck chakotay#when i played on 'voyager' lot every time janeway and chakotay were talking to each other in the hallway tuvok would appear with :/ face.#canon#she is a mermaid :) i want to change her appearance more once i can fix my keyboard and summon the cheat panel haha#kathryn janeway#sims 4#my post
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Process gif for the [ last piece ]! It was a bit of a rough ride.
#ok short tags b/c for some reason firefox is using 70% of my memory to up- oh hey its done#that means long tags !#uh. this was a three day kinda thing#the first two were done in one day#the next two in one#and then the last one was one day in it of itself#was really trying to go for the 20/80 rule and i think it worked out? (it didn't. lack of planning led to a lot of changes down the line#that would have otherwise easily been resolved had i thought about it more than 2 minutes)#but in my defense the worms got me and i could do nothing but paint else id die#uhhhhh yeah no! if you saw my favourite brushes post youll see them in here HAHA#mostly lasso fill oil paint hardsoft and palette knife for this one#if anyone has questions or anything id be happy to answer! tho i feel it's fairly self explanatory
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love waking up from a dream having been gifted with THE MOST PROFOUND KNOWLEDGE THAT I MUST WRITE DOWN AND SHARE WITH THE WORLD IMMEDIATELY only to properly wake up like 2 minutes later and being like "this is nonsense".
#i dreamt my friend from okinawa was teaching in the classroom underneath mine (apparently there was a classroom underneath mine)#and the kids from his classroom kept escaping and coming into mine via stairs i didn't even know existed#and he described them as 'indigo children' looking for 'the road of dreams'#and then he came to me afterwards - having turned into patrick stewart but retaining his hair - and he said:#'do you know the way to the road of dreams? first you must go up'#and i had a little tricycle/truck hybrid thing with an inflatable hamburger some wooden blocks and a beach ball stuck to the back#and i was like. this is it. this is the key. if i have these things then i can find the road of dreams#and i woke up like okay i must write this down i must remember this#and it took me between getting off my bed and turning on the air con to go 'wait no this is dream nonsense'#i did find out indigo children were actually like a pseudoscience thing in the 1970s/80s though so there you go#and the characteristics that describe indigo children are pretty much me haha#and then i kept reading and it was like 'a lot of so-described indigo children actually have adhd'#but parents prefered to believe their kid was gifted and destined to lead a religious revolution than to accept they had 'a disorder'#so that makes sense lmao
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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I Must finish this comic I am the god of reading comprehension!!! I am the beholder of patterns and my meat is huge!!!!!!!
#not art#only uhhh. twenty two panels to go. haha#Im actually SO smug lmao a lot of this Has been about riz learning to let go of the control he wants to have over his future#and having this one good thing for the first time in Years. and never being able to be sure that he can have it again#if he ever loses it. friends have not happened to him when he actively tried friends were kinda hoisted upon him#my baby boy.... clenches fists I Dialed in Im Hot Shit!! Im The Vision Im Correct#watching funny dnd actual play show is not a pastime its a competition and Im Winning. I got Good Grade in Looking At Screen#fuckign. I will get this comic to 20 panels done Today if it kills me. I want it to happen. I want it to be a thing!!
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Thinking about Visiting Hours (1982) still and its feminist themes and how it’s a little sad and ironic that like 90% of the posts I could find for it on tumblr were just thirst gifset of the actor who played the misogynistic serial killer who likes to kill women just for having jobs, and there was not a single post dedicated to either of the two female protagonists :’o) like hm. hmm
#I cant make decent gifs but I should go back through my screenshots and make some posts for the two characters#I took a lot of the secondary protagonist because the actress was so gorgeous I like gasped when she first appeared haha#hannah is talking#visiting hours#not that michael ironside wasnt really good in it. and his character is really interesting. but the two women were also equally as#interesting characters with complicated things going on for them!#like they werent even just damsels for the killer to chase. they were really fleshed out characters#you guys should all go watch Visting Hours (1982) and then we can all hold hands and talk about Deb and Sheila together
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man if i had the engergy to write fics. the things id do to fiddleford.. oh man the things id do..
#to me hes very; incredibly repressed gay man who was definitely very in love with ford in college then proceeded to get married to a woman#so he would stop thinking about it because him and ford were just 'college buddies' and 'only kissed a few times when they were really#intoxicated and isnt that a funny story haha' so the first chance he got he just convinced himself he was in love with his wife#because thats what he was supposed to do hes supposed to get married and have kids and provide for his family thats#how its supposed to be- and i do think he loves his family and loves his wife like they were probably friends before getting married#but then ford calls him up again after so long and he just drops everything to *be there for him* like not even because he wants to do it#for science he wants to do it for *ford* and then time goes on out there and the feelings resurface#and i like to think that when the fight he had with his wife over the christmas present that was the moment he finally realized#that hes just been in love with ford this whole time or at least that he wants to go back to him so bad that he just gets on the last plane#back to gravity falls and goes back to ford and as things get worse he just starts breaking down because hes thinking he wasted his whole#life that hes married he cant go back now probably also a lot of internalized homophobia just having the worst time while#fords off with his little triangle bf and starts getting a little colder towards him near before he left and so#after all that after the portal test hes just completely shattered even without the memory gun bc hes just like i ruined my life i think my#wife hates me and ford is just acting insane he wasnt like this before and i did this all for him this could be the end of the world#and so then just a couple of zap zap zaps later and hes old man mcgucket local cook haha! anyway yeah i have to#do some of my physics homework tomorrow its due Tuesday
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Good skeles, like you lots (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Sans#Papyrus#Gaster#Finally a set mostly featuring the brothers! Yay!#I love their dynamic so muuuuch and they're both so cuuuuuute ahhhhhhh <3 <3#I made that first one based on some half-remembered doodles from my Very First time around drawing UT characters - going way back!#I never posted any of them - I do actually have some studies from back then from various artists including Zarla haha ♪#And I think the original sketches for the pixel bouncies I made of them? :0 There's a lot of good stuff back there! Been a while tho lol#Really tho I've just kinda been on a big-eyes-and-swirly-cheeks kick lately haha ♪ They suit it so well! Especially Sans#Very fun to put down strong lines about ♫#Hugging <3 Always hugging <3 <3#I'm really pleased with their hands there actually haha - Papyrus pulling Sans in and Sans' hand on his ribs not pushing just a little space#They're so cute <3 Even some of my first doodles of them were them giving little donk-pecks on their cheek or forehead#Y'know - since they don't have lips lol#Also probably not a shock but I've pulled out my own colour cube(s) to play with out of inspiration lol#I am So out of practice lol#Sleeping on each other - it is The Classic! I love Papyrus' little paw thing with his plated hand while he sleeps haha#I personally really like the inverted Soul look on Monsters but in Handplates they're right side up! What do!#There must be a happy medium to strike somewhere hmmm#Just put them sideways and upset Everyone lol#A silly little set with Gaster of the two ''flying'' - does that activity actually have a name? :0 I don't know it#Gaster is not about to have them playing anything that could end up with 1-s falling though - not that he'll listen lol#''Because I told you to!'' Lol#And finally trying on clothes in their house! Papyrus is getting weird vibes off this shirt with how it ties in the back and hangs loosely#I'm pretty sure? I've been drawing him with his scar but it can hard to tell even looking at it myself lol#I'm not exactly careful with the delineation of his neck bones so the line can get lost#Needs a shirt that will compliment a scarf or a cape for sure
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#couple of thoughts#firstly it’s funny that they claimed there would be no more promo including buddies/with buck+eddie or oliver+ryan stood near eachother lol#but then we got the lgbt cheaters pic AND the first official promo pic with buddie stood next to eachother#hehe haha#but secondly it’s not funny that they’re already back on their gerard and eddie bestieism bullshit#‘buck’s getting told off and eddie’s just stood there doing nothing bc he’s siding with gerrard!!’ shut the fuck up#you’re saying that based on a single frame?? from a single scene?? that we have no context of??#haven’t you learnt anything from that one still in s7 where everyone thought eddie was being poached but then we didn’t even see the scene??#when will these people STOP talking on eddie diaz#just SHUT THE FUCK UP#also a secret third thing. we all knew he’d be back at the beginning of the season still dating my poor best friend buck buckley#it’s not a gotcha. it doesn’t mean anything. marisol also started the season dating my poor best friend eddie diaz and ‘going strong’ soooo#this is a long form network tv show. there are 18 episodes this season. and s7 proved a lot can change in even just ONE episode#bucktaylor were together all s5 and moved in together and said ily AND…???!!!!
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I think the best way to describe my feelings about aini is like if you were craving this specific meal from some distant restaurant you haven’t been to in ages and you try to replicate it on your own and it actually tastes decently good but then you get to eat the original again and you’re like “oh god what the hell I’ve been making garbage this whole time why did I think I could beat the original”
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#ai nirvana initiative#aini#aini is a good game i like it a lot. but damn it just does not compare to the first game#i read a critique of the game that pointed out how in an attempt to avoid spoilers for the first game they kinda screwed over#all the characters from the first game by just removing their character development#which yeah i have to agree characters like iris ota and moma literally contributed nothing to aini#and moma in particular was suuuuch an uncomfortable character cuz he was just completely reduced to a tesa fan which. was done very creepy!!#but the big obvious one is date like ighhhh. they couldnt have him be connected properly with mizuki or aiba AT ALL#which is shitty given how those dynamics were the best part of the first game#but yeah his relevance to the plot is weird cuz they also couldnt be bothered to properly write he and ryukis relationship either#or really ryuki at all-#hes just kinda reduced to haha funny sex jokes haha#and naturally thats how hes gonna be remembered by fans who finished aini#like aaaa in general they did a shit job incorporating the old and new characters where only a select few were done okay#and its the frustrating kinda bad cuz its not glaringly obvious until you finish the game and theres just like#this big empty hole it feels like where something important is completely missing#so yeah its like some okay replication of grandmas chicken that you can enjoy#but its garbage compared to the real thing
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......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier
#IM KIDDING ALKJNFGADFBG IM SORRY MARK BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NAMED THIS PLAYLISTTTTTT#actually you know what on the slim to none chance i submit this at Just the right time and it gets a bunch of notes#and he somehow does actually see this post#(hi sappy/backstory tm incoming feel free to continue scrolling lmao>>)#mark you helped my mom so much#she was sick for 5 years and in that time as she got weaker and more tired what she had an abundance of was Time#and as someone who since losing her has now also become extremely depressed i underrstand Even More how horrible that kind of Time can be#to have and go through and be frustrated and devastated and bored out of your mind#but some of my friends started me in watching your videos#and she was my best friend#i shared everything with her#so of course i shared your videos too#and we would watch a lot of them together but you also have so many on your channel from so far back in addition to the new ones#that she had plenty to go back through and watch on her own while i was at school#we always felt like your humor and mentality fit right in with the rest of the household like you were a longtime friend#or neighbor from just down the road who we spoke with regularly or smth idk it was just so easy for your videos to be engaging and upliftin#she could have a playlist on to fall asleep to and be distracted from everything coming up...and that means more#than i could ever begin to thank you for#i think fnaf had been one of the things id been introduced to you through..and then tiny box tim we loved tiny box tim#back when you were first getting into making shorts and improving equipment/editing quality i always thought it would be so cool#if we somehow ran into one another on the street somewhere and i could offer to help#because i was watching those videos too! i want to make them as cool as possible and im going to school for it i know tips and tricks#and by now im sure youve probably surpassed what i know haha the INSANELY awesome and frankly gorgeous cinematography and impressive#but anyway... i know she had those videos to fill the Time when i was at school#and sometimes when i wasnt but when i was too exhausted#and i know you made her laugh and smile through it all#and that means everythingto me#ok well thhat got sappy fast sorry everyone christ#ive thought so many times over the years about trying to write something in the comments on a video or send an email or something and like#i feel bad same time cos i know soooo many people have similar stories or treat youtubers/celebrities like theyre actual saviors and angels
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