#They were both formative games for me in ways I can't explain

[the-foley-knoll-horror]

Listen nostalgia's not inherently bad. People act like it is and it does make you do stupid things but it's fine. You can't buy a product and recapture your youth but you can appreciate old stuff in new light, and you do get to spend just a little bit of time in your youth.

[lostwords-found]

Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.

I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.

First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.

Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"

Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:

I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.

But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.

I think they were sending it through to other worlds.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."

Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."

But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."

And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?

One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."

I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.

Still with me?

Okay.

Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.

Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.

Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.

I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...

...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.

Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."

Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."

[kaiser1ns]

#. CHEATER, CHEATER STOP !

featuring 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 ıllı. umemiya hajime, takiishi chika, togame jo, kaji ren

fluff. yes, what you did was indeed cheating to some extent, but sometimes you have to play dirty to win.

UMEMIYA HAJIME

"I knew it, you were cheating on me..." the pain in his voice, the agony and misery colored his face and his eyes began to water slowly, drop by drop as if at any moment the wall holding the dam would collapse. "But i didn't expect to be with my own best friend."

"Hajime it's not what it looks like, I-I swear I can explain," you demanded, stuttering in the process as you were caught in the act, right on the spot.

"It's not what it seems? With everything that we've been through and all that I've given for you ... And this is how you repay me?" he slammed his hands on the table, furious that was one way to describe the situation as he was starring at both of you, trying to dig out an answer.

The uno cards scattered across the table seemed to echo the shattered pieces of trust that was once held in the palms of your hands. Hiragi stepped in, "It was all her idea. I am innocent." Umemiya raised an eyebrow at you like you just broke his heart (you did). "I didn't know my girlfriend was secretly an Uno mastermind and that you Hiragi would be her little follower."

"Baby, don't take it too seriously, it's just a game." You laughed a little because of his dramatic reaction, yes what you did was indeed cheating, at some point, but if you want to win you have to play dirty sometimes.

Umemiya sighed dramatically, he is being such a child right now, "Just a game? And you made me draw 32 cards because it's just a game. Do you even understand the emotional trauma you've put me through?"

"Pretty much yeah." you said nodding of head followed by Hiragi's humming, because everyone goes through it — you either put the plus cards or you draw them, no in between.

Umemiya shot Hiragi a look of betrayal before turning back to you with furrowing his eyes and pouting. You flashed him a grin, your smile so genuine like you just didn't commit the most serious crime against your boyfriend. "I will make it up to you, anything you want. More cuddles? You got it. More kisses? On the way!"

You stood up from your place to sit next to him, as you held your hand for him to take it. And he did as you kissed him on the cheek, leaving a little scent from your strawberry lipgloss you know he adored.

He can't be that mad at you, not for too long. Despite you being a cheater.

"She's pretty good at making pancakes, just saying." The white head couldn't help but laugh at his best friend's comment, knowing how much they loved your pancakes. Food tastes better when you're in good company, not with cheaters of course. "Alright, fine. But no more stacking up the whole deck against me."

You nodded, suppressing a giggle. "I will try, no promises~"

TAKIISHI CHIKA

The two of you sit on the floor, surrounded by scattered UNO cards, your laughter filling the room. Boredom crept into Chika's features after the countless games over the past hour, but then, you laid down a +4 card, well luck was on your side today. He's about to draw twenty cards, practically handing you the win.

“You should stop doing that,” he mutters, his patience worn out after countless games. You can't help but laugh, teasing him with your victory. "Don't be a sore loser now, baby. You did pretty good but I always win."

Just as you're reveling in your win, Chika threw his cards aside angry and annoyed by your so-hidden antics. Before you know it, he grabs your ankles and pulls you towards him. You squeal in surprise as he settles you on his lap, clearly having lost interest in the game.

"You know that flirting with your rival will do you no good, right?" you say, half-joking, as he removes the cards from your hand. Chika’s golden eyes lock onto yours, a serious stare replacing the soft smile that had tried to form on his lips. "You should stop cheating," he says, his voice low and demanding, as he knows you all too well by now and how you proceed to get your wins.

"I did not!" you exclaim, genuinely offended. You’ve always had luck drawing the right cards at the right time, but cheating? Never. You always play fair, and you give your opponent a chance to make their best strategy.

"I will make sure you learn your lesson," he says, cupping your face in his hands, his touch gentle despite the intent behind his words. He moves your head slightly as if inspecting you, making you feel like a doll in his hands. What's gotten into him? It nice though, to see him behave like that.

"It's not okay to threaten girls," you tease, touching his hands that still cup your face.

"It's not okay to cheat," he counters, Touché. You frown, pretending to be ready to get up, despite your best efforts, his grip is firm. He’s not letting you go just yet. Chika always seems to see through your tricks. He’s always claimed he wouldn’t be a perfect boyfriend, but calling you a cheater? That's a new low, even for him.

His eyes study you, as if you're a puzzle he's trying to solve. In many ways, you are. You bring out a side of him that’s unfamiliar even to himself. If Endo had been here, he’d have said this was completely out of character for Takiishi. Yet, here he is, a lovesick fool, the joker in the deck, and the plus card in the UNO game of your relationship—always keeping you with a million questions in mind not knowing what to expect next.

“And what are you going to do now?” you whisper, as he leaned closer. His breath is warm against your skin and the game is long forgotten.

TOGAME JO

Togame loved shogi, especially playing with the elders from whom he had learned so much. You admired this hobby of his and how good he was at the game, but today, you were determined to finally beat him. The record was 4-0 in his favor, but you still won't give up, not when you were so close to taking his king this time.

As the game progressed, your focus sharpened, your moves becoming more strategic. Your boyfriend watched you with an affectionate smile, clearly enjoying the way you were so deep into focus. Then, in a moment that felt almost unreal, you saw it. The opening. Your hands moved almost on their own, and you captured his king.

"I did it?" you whispered to yourself, still unsure if you had truly won. But the realization hit, and a wide grin appeared on your already beautiful face. "I did it!"

Togame's eyes lit up with a warm and proud smile directed at you, "Congratulations," he said warmly, reaching over the headboard to shake your hand. You extended yours as well, but instead of a handshake, he tugged on the sleeve of your blouse. To your shock, a few of his shogi pawns fell out, clattering onto the board.

"W-what… How did they end up here?" you stammered, trying to mask your 'surprised' face. "Pfft, can you imagine?"

Togame stared at you, his expression turning serious, though his eyes still held a hint of playfulness. "Y/N, you didn't need to cheat," he said, his voice gentle despite the scolding. You felt a blush creep up your cheeks. "I didn't mean to," you mumbled, feeling embaressed that he found out, no tricks up your sleeves, yet he didn't belive any of it. "I just wanted to beat you once in something."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Your determination is one of the things I love most about you. But next time, let's keep it fair and square, okay?"

You nodded, grateful for his understanding. "Okay," you agreed, smiling at him. "But just so you know, I would have won anyway."

He laughed, a sound that always made you feel warm inside. "We'll see about that," he said, leaning in to press a soft kiss on your forehead.

KAJI REN

It was one of those rare times when Kaji finished his patrols around the town early as he found himself resting with you and Kusumi, his fellow vice-captain. You had suggested playing UNO to kill time until the others returned. Kusumi had easily secured first place, and now it was just you and Kaji left in a heated duel.

The game had stretched out, each of you fiercely battling with plus cards, neither willing to back down. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of back-and-forth, you managed to clinch victory with a triumphant smile. Kaji looked at you, then at Kusumi, who extended his hand to you, to give you plus cards. The realization dawned on him.

"Is this how you're going to play now?" Kaji's voice was tinged with anger and annoyance, his usual calm demeanor shattered. You noticed his lollipop, previously a sweet distraction, was now gone.

"What do you mean Ren?" you asked innocently, placing another +4 card on the table, sealing the deal. Your boyfriend threw his remaining cards onto the table, clearly pissed off. His frustration was visible as he was about to open his mouth to express his annoyance, but you acted quickly, placing another lollipop in his mouth, silencing him effectively.

"We'll talk about this later," you said, your tone teasing. "For now, let me enjoy my win, baby."

The word "baby" came out a bit like an insult, making him sulk even more. Despite his irritation, he couldn't stay mad at you forever. As he sucked on the lollipop, his annoyance seemed to melt away, replaced by the warmth of your presence. Kusumi chuckled, shaking his head at the two of you, standing up to leave you alone sensing that Kaji wanted to be with you now.

"You cheated," he mumbled around the lollipop. You leaned in closer, your face inches from his. "Maybe," you whispered, "but you still love me." He couldn't help but roll his eyes at you, his earlier anger slowly disappearing. "Yeah, I do," he admitted, pulling you into a gentle embrace. "But next time, I'm winning."

You laughed, wrapping your arms around him. "You already won if you want to know." It took him a while to find the meaning in your words, but cuddled with him, Kaji knew best what you meant.

taglist :: @meidiary @kazuhaiku @kiurona @maruflix @stunie @nyxypoo @kajibunny

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work

[areyouwell]

Thanatophobia

Noun: An extreme and irrational fear of losing somebody you love. Children or adults with this condition tend to steer clear of any form of relationship, haunted by the possibility it could be ripped away from them.

Ch.6

Ch.5,5, Ch.5, Ch.4, Ch.3, Ch.2, Ch.1 <--

Paring: Logan Howlett x Mutant!F!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, explicit content, brief description of rape, extremely fucked up timelines cuz i can't do maths but just like, go with it? for me? pls?

Word Count: 13k

A/N: whew boy was this chapter tricky. not to go into too much detail about my personal life but i actually managed to trigger myself writing this so please please please be aware that this could be difficult to read if you're an SA/Rape survivor cuz yeesh... was this tough

Taglist: @badbishsblog @reidsworld @idioticstar @toogaytofunctiondangit @ghostyv @wolviesgirl @over-bi-the-wayside @justice4billiam @holyhumorliteraturelight @cxptainbuck @sseleniaa @sadslasher13 @yallgotkik

Settling into your new life hadn’t been as difficult as you’d thought. Perhaps it was because you’d spent the last two years away, but you didn’t miss the mansion as much as you thought you would. Sure, you missed Kitty randomly barging into your room, and you sincerely hoped someone had explained to her at least some of what was going on, but the feeling faded fairly quickly within the first few weeks. You and Logan fell into routine domesticity a little too easily. He taught the correct way to aim a hunting rifle, nestling the butt of the gun into the nook between your shoulder and chest. He taught you how to follow deer tracks, what to look out for when estimating how far away the game is, and which tracks not to follow under any circumstances.

You, on the other hand, started teaching him a passion you’d forgotten you’d had until you found yourself with too much time on your hands. Or at least, a passion you’d forgotten was planted in your memory… was it your passion, or just a passion you thought was yours? Every time thoughts such as these rose to the forefront of your mind, you tried to push them away. They never yielded any answers and just served to send you spirally. Logan usually caught your faraway stares, the way your eyes glazed over as you dissociated back into your mind. He’d bring you back with a gentle call of your name, hands tilting your chin up to look into his eyes. 

The first time you’d slid your sketchbook across the dining room table, Logan’s eyes welled up slightly. Sure, he’d stolen glances at you whilst you huddled on the window seat bench, charcoal staining your fingertips black as you elegantly swiped it across the paper, but he had no idea you were sketching him. When you’d asked him what he thought, he couldn’t find the right words and ended up with you perched on the kitchen counter, his head between your thighs, pouring his awestruck gratitude into eating you out. Since then, you both took time out of your days to sit with each other and you taught him everything you knew. As it turned out, he wasn’t half bad. At least, that’s what you exclaimed with a slightly insulting amount of surprise in your voice. He’d always brush off your praise, comparing his work to yours, but he couldn’t deny the pride that bloomed in his chest.

Logan had learnt not to ask after your well-being too often, finding that you would huff in irritation if he mentioned it more than once a day and remind him that you weren’t that mentally unstable. After a month of settling in, you’d mutually decided to start training again, heading out into the woods a little ways and finding a safe, exclusive spot on the lake shore. Plenty of shadows around between the tree line and the water, it was perfect. Though, not that it made much of a difference. The progress you made was second to none, barely managing to make the darkness shift a fraction before you’d grit your teeth and attempt to stamp down your frustration. 

The days grew colder as the months went by, leaves fading from lush, vibrant greens to crinkled, burning oranges before dropping altogether, coating the ground in a blanket of crunchy fire. It was your favourite season, autumn. The sweet scent of mulch wreathed your senses with every kick of the chilly breeze as you stepped from the warm cabin thankful you’d donned a knitted scarf around your neck, two mugs clasped in your hands. Amongst the many other things Logan had taught you, how to make the best cups of hot chocolate may be, in your opinion, the most useful. Small marshmallows melted atop the surface of the drink as your boots crunched along the gravel, eyes drinking in the sight before you.

He was made for this life. Leather jacket discarded atop a stack of logs, he’d rolled the sleeves of his brown flannel shirt up to his elbows, the hood of the truck propped open and his head ducked far into the depths of the engine. You mentioned you thought the spark plugs were going a few days ago, but he brushed off your concerns. It wasn’t until he’d received a call from the local garage about a bike part he’d requested and he went to leave that morning did he realise you were right after the truck misfired almost instantly. You tried not to be too smug about it.

“How’s it going?” Logan looked back as he heard your voice and approaching footsteps, withdrawing from the depths of the hood and swiping his hands on the dirty rag over his shoulder. A warm smile pulled at his lips as he saw what you were carrying, and he thanked you with a quick kiss, taking the mug you’d offered to him. 

“Well. you were right,” you pursed your lips as you tried not to smirk wildly, failing miserably when he rolled his eyes. “Yeah alright. ‘Scuze me for asusmin’ you didn’t know what you were talkin’ about. Anyway,” he continued pointedly and you giggled lightly. “Todd rang, he’s on his way with a few replacement plugs, since the damn thing won’t even start now. The good news is, he’s bringing the bike part with him, so we could get that goin’ this afternoon.” He raised the marshmallowy mug to his lips, humming pleasantly as he tasted his own hot chocolate recipe you’d followed. 

Your eyes lit up at his words. He’d been working on the bike hidden in the small barn since you’d arrived here six months ago, making its restoration his little personal project. He’d spoken to Todd before about acquiring replacement parts and had slowly been fixing up the motorcycle with each trip to the garage. All he needed now was the replacement brake calliper and it would be good to go. “I would have made a third mug if I knew Todd was coming round. That’s amazing though, crazy to think it’s taken this long.” You cradled the steaming mug with both hands, blowing slightly on the warm liquid before taking a long sip, licking at the remains left on your upper lip.

“I know right?” he agreed, tucking you against his side with an arm around your shoulders. “Startin’ to think I should have asked you for help since you can recognise a blown spark plug from a single misfire,” you snorted a laugh into your drink.

“Yeah well, in my completely fabricated past, I trained as a mechanic for a bit so I know a thing or two.”

“You’re only tellin’ me this now?”

“It didn’t seem important at the time!” You held your hands up in defence, your fingers still hooked around the handle of your warm mug. Logan rolled his eyes, unable to tame his disobedient smile. 

“You’re a pain in my ass, ya know that?” He set his half-full mug next to his jacket on the stack of logs, taking yours and setting it down as well all so he could pick you up in his arms, your legs instantly circling around his waist, his hands settling on your thighs. Your fingers threaded through the soft strands at the back of his head as you looked down at him, your eyes dancing with mischief.

“Me? Little ol’ me? I’m heartbroken,” nothing about your current body language suggested anything of the sort, your faux innocence only serving to confirm his suspicions. 

“Bet it’s just eatin’ you up inside, huh?” Sarcasm dripped from his tone and you threw your head back as you laughed, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck before you looked back down at him, wasting no time in taking his lips captive with your own, giggling into the kiss when he bit gently on the soft flesh of your upper lip. You inhaled a sharp gasp through your nose when he smoothed over the small hurt with his tongue, feeling your core respond to his actions, your blood heating with every languid brush of his lips against yours, every slight nibble of his teeth.

Logan groaned softly at the scent of your arousal building, his skin tingling as you returned every nip of his teeth with one of your own, sandwiching his lower lip between your front teeth and tugging slightly. Your hands returned to his hair, twirling the longer strands between your fingers and pulling tight. Todd’s imminent arrival forgotten, Logan swiped at the hood prop, slamming the lid shut and setting your down so his hands could roam up your waist to your breasts, kneading and groping at your tits over your hoodie. 

His lips dragged a trail of soft bites down the side of your neck, his fingers deftly popping open the button of your jeans and pulling down your zipper, his entire hand disappearing down between your damp thighs, his fingertips grazing across the centre of your slick core over your underwear. He growled in response to your whimper, tugging the crotch of your briefs to one side and sliding the back of his finger up over your clit. 

“So wet for me, what got you goin’, hm? ‘S it that book? Did they finally fuck? Make you miss me, hm?” He’d caught glances of you in the window, lip caught between your teeth as you devoured the pages in front of you, your legs crossed tightly. He’d laughed to himself at the time, but now he wanted to show you what the real world could offer. 

You went to bite back at his condescending tone, opening your mouth only to inhale an embarrassing gasp as one of his thick fingers slid inside you, pumping and curling in the ways he knew would have you creaming in minutes. Your nails sank into his forearm, mouth dropping open as hot pleasure coursed through your veins. Humiliatingly enough, it was exactly why you’d come out to see him. The two characters in the book you were reading finally put aside their differences and realised they loved each other in a passionate display of tender fucking. And yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think of Logan at the time. But this wasn’t what you were expecting at all.”

“Logan!” you cried out to the blue skies as your head fell back the moment a second finger slipped inside your aching heat, your walls clamping down against his digits as if he would ever try to escape. With his one free hand, Logan dragged your jeans and underwear down just far enough to slip beneath them between your legs, keeping your knees over his shoulder as he pushed you back against the windshield. You clutched at the wipers as he rubbed his nose against your clit, moaning wantonly at the scent of your liquid nectar. 

His tongue darted out to swipe a long line up the centre of your core, using his fingers to provoke more of your slick to drip down the apex of your thighs for him to drink like a man parched of water. Your hips bucked with each stroke of his tongue, gasping a pitched whimper of his name as his lips wrapped around your sensitive pearl and sucked until you screamed at the heavens above you, your orgasm splitting every nerve in your body with each slow caress of his fingertips against that delicious bundle of nerves nestled two knuckles inside you. 

Your nails scratched against the hood of the truck, flaking off the paint job as wave after wave of your high crashed through your mind and body, your spine arching your hips further against his face as you ground against his tongue before the pleasure spiked into overstimulation and you squirmed away from his fingers, panting desperately. 

“That’s my girl, y’allright?” he soothed, pressing soft kisses to the scar on your inner thigh, cringing in second-hand pain as the back of your head smacked the windscreen behind you, your tensed, shaking muscles finally relaxing. “Y’okay!?”

You giggled, still a little dazed from your orgasm, your hand lazily feeling the slight numbness at the back of your head, simply making sure you hadn’t cracked it open, or at the very least, split the skin. But you felt no blood. “Yeah, ‘m all good. But if you don’t fuck me on the hood of this truck I might pass away– whaaat’re you doing?” You asked as he ducked out from between your legs, pulling your underwear and trousers back up over your knees and to your waist.

“I’ll start makin’ funeral arrangements then. Todd’s here.” You didn’t miss his growl of discomfort, and your heart bled for him a little, knowing he was going to have to go the next god knows how long hard as a rock in his jeans. Pulling up the zipper and fastening the button at your navel, you hopped off the truck just as Todd’s beaten old 4x4 trundled through the tree line. He was one of the only people who knew you were even here, apparently, he was a friend of the previous owner and knew Logan fairly well. The two hadn’t kept in touch, but he’d given him a firm handshake when he first took the pickup truck to his garage.

Retrieving the two mugs of now slightly cooled chocolate, Logan smiled gratefully as he once again took the mug from you, placing a kiss to your brow as he held up an arm of greeting to Todd. The older man stepped from the car, slamming the door shut, a ziplock bag of spark plugs grasped in his broad hand. He had a thick, greying beard bushing proudly along his chin and jaw, bridging across his upper lip. A full head of salt and pepper hair slicked back from his brow, tied into a small bun at the back of his head. You couldn’t deny that he most definitely would have been a lady's man back in his prime, with deep-set blue eyes and a smile crisp as winter frost? You could definitely have seen yourself falling for his charms.

It seemed you had a thing for bearded men. And Logan also seemed to have noticed. He raised a brow as he looked at you out of his peripheral. “Stop eyeing up my mechanic.” He elbowed you lightly and you snorted a laugh.

“Not my fault,” your tone was hushed as you watched Todd head into the backseat of his car, retrieving the new brake calliper for Logan’s bike. “Clearly I like older men.” You sent him a wink and he rolled his eyes, smirking against his better judgement. 

“What’ve you done to ‘er then? And I don’t mean to yer girl ‘ere.” Todd strode over with the self-assurance of a gold medal athlete, a winning smile parting his bearded lips to reveal bright white teeth. You flipped your hair over your shoulder, stepping forward to embrace the man who planted a kiss on your cheek. “Hello, gorgeous. He lookin’ after ya properly?” His faux seriousness had you casting a cheeky glance back at Logan, who narrowed his eyes in response. 

“He’s doing his best.” You whispered loudly behind your hand, and Todd nodded in an exaggerated display of understanding. 

“I’ll ‘ave a word with ‘im, don’t you worry.” He winked at you and you placed your hand against your heart dramatically, pretending to faint as Todd turned from you to Logan, who folded his arms across his chest with a thick brow raised. But he couldn’t keep up his irritated façade for long. It was a tradition ever since the two of you started visiting the garage frequently for Logan’s bike. Todd would flirt with you relentlessly, Logan would pretend to get irate about it for all of thirty seconds before breaking into a wide grin and firmly clasping the man in an embrace. And this time was no different, a solid clap to Todd’s back was all that was needed for you to know this wasn’t the time the men fought it out. The first time you’d visited, you genuinely thought Logan was going to slice his head clean off the second Todd looked your way. But he just stood back with an amused, almost proud smirk as you were flirted with relentlessly. It took you completely off guard at first, but now you were more than happy to go along with it. 

“Didn’t surprise me, it’s an old truck,” you heard Logan explain as you returned from your memories, stepping up to lean against the raised hood of the pickup, your arms crossed against your chest, gesturing to the engine with the mug in your hand.

“Think the oil needs changing too. The mileage counter was going crazy the other day and I only went out to the corner shop. I checked the oil level when I got back and nothing was wrong so I think it’s most likely carbon buildup. Like Lo’ said, it’s an old truck.” The two men stared at you in disbelief as if knowing how to check the oil on a car wasn’t something they expected from you. You flipped them both off. “Oh fuck off the pair of you, I was the one to notice the faulty spark plugs thank you very much.” You placed a defensive hand on your hip, and Todd looked from you to Logan next to him.

“That true?” he asked with a bushy brow raised. 

Logan released a long sigh, offering a low, reluctant “Yep…” 

There was a beat before Todd howled with laughter, his hand clasping Logan’s shoulder with a loud clap. “Said it before an’ I’ll say it again, you got yerself a keeper ‘ere Logan. A woman who looks this good in jeans and knows ‘er way ‘round an engine? Tie ‘er down ‘fore someone else does.” Todd sent you a wink and you blew a kiss back at him. “C’mon then, gotta fix yer bike ‘fore I tackle this hunk o’ metal. Unless missy mechanic over ‘ere would like to do the honours?” he raised a brow and you held up your hands to decline. 

“Cars I can do. Bikes are totally foreign to me, so you lead the way,” you gestured for him to head to the barn, which he did but not before offering you a chivalrous bow. You rolled your eyes as he turned away, falling into step next to Logan who slipped a hand to your waist. You elbowed him slightly. “See? I’m a keeper.” you shot him a shit-eating grin and he pursed his lips in a feeble attempt to suppress his smile.

“‘M stuck with you either way,” he shrug in mock nonchalance, and you poked his ribs.

“You like being stuck with me.”

“Shut up.” He breathed, smothering your face into the crook of his arm, muffling your maniacal cackles as the two of you followed Todd into the barn, watching as he pulled off the tarp sheltering the bike from any leaks in the roof. 

“You’ve done ‘er up somethin’ great, Logan. Lookin’ good as new.” Todd patted the back fender the same way you would a horse you were proud of. Logan just grunted in acknowledgement, being truly terrible at receiving compliments. 

“Think we can get her up and runnin’ today?” Logan asked, glancing as once again your eyes lit up. It had been since months ago since he promised to take you out on that date, and he wanted to stay true to his word. Todd nodded thoughtfully as if contemplating how realistic that was.

“We can certainly give it a go. If you an’ the missus wanna change those spark plugs I can start on replacin’ this break calliper and we can go from there.” You suppressed a grin at being referred to as Logan’s ‘missus’, a giddy spark pepped up your step as Todd tossed the ziplock bag to Logan who caught it in one hand. 

“Sounds good. Absolutely no way I’m leavin’ you two alone together.” You snorted a laugh at Logan’s slight grumble, sending Todd a flirtatious wave as he steered you back out of the barn and towards the pickup. “Unbelievable…” he shook his head fondly as you all but skipped over to the hood of the car, removing what Logan only now realised was his jacket and rolling up the shirt sleeves of his flannel. Not that he was about to complain, but he must have been too caught up in your cunt earlier to notice.

Leaning into the hood of the truck, you peered around the side of the engine, finding the six plugs you needed to change. With deft fingertips you twisted the wire boot of the first plug instead of just yanking it free, a trick you’d picked up when you’d…

Oh yeah. That never happened. A trick they’d planted in your brain, you guessed. You extended a hand out behind you, barely needing to open your mouth before the socket spanner was placed firmly in your grasp. You looked over your shoulder at Logan who’d returned to leaning against the large pile of wood to his right, smirking shamelessly at your ass as you bent over the engine. You grinned, making a show of rolling your eyes, before returning back to the task at hand, unscrewing the first spark plug from the well. Discarding the old part to the floor, you accumulated a small pile of six faulty plugs when you’d removed them all.

Stepping back from inside the hood, you wiped a small bead of sweat from your brow with your oil-slicked hand, leaving a dark smudge just above your eyebrow. Logan handed you the ziplock bag, his smirk ceaseless. “I ain’t gonna pretend this isn’t the hottest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen.” He shrugged when you sent him a questioning look before bubbles of laughter rose from your chest.

“Now look who’s the freak.” You shot back with an equally wicked smirk, before eyeing up the toolbox to his left. “You got a torque wrench in there? Todd might have one actually–”

“Todd is not seein’ you like this, he’ll lose his damn mind. The man already worships the ground at your feet.” Logan rifled quickly through the toolbox as if speed would prevent you from heading back up to the barn and giving the poor mechanic a love-induced heart attack. 

“And why shouldn’t he? I’m a keeper, dontcha know?” You responded haughtily, raising your chin with a dignity you couldn’t possibly hope to possess with your face smudged with engine oil. Logan barked a laugh, tossing you the torque wrench from the box and watching as you returned to your mission, fitting the new plugs in the wells and using the torque when you couldn’t tighten the screw any further with your fingers.

Logan slotted his hands in the dip of your waist, his front pressed against your back as he bent over you, teeth catching the sensitive skin behind your ear. “You’re a keeper, sweetheart. And you’re mine.” his breath fanned your ear as he growled lowly, the outline of his hard cock grinding against the seam of your ass as his hands pulled you against him slightly. 

You gasped airily, teeth clamping down on your lower lip. “You been hard this whole time?” You asked, struggling to focus on fitting the remaining plugs as he trailed one of his hands down your front and between your thighs. He just released a gravelly moan in response as you pushed back into his crotch, moving your hips in a slow circle. Logan bucked with a sharp gasp, nipping at your earlobe. 

“Not my fault. I got this gorgeous new mechanic. She’s hot as fuck and you wanna know the best thing about her?” Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as he rubbed your clit over your jeans, eyes fluttering closed as a smile split your mouth.

“What would that be?”

Logan inhaled your scent, a mixture of engine oil, wood smoke and sweet arousal, his fingers tightening on your waist. “She lets me do whatever I want to her after she changes my spark plugs.” It was a blackened promise filled with swirling lust, sucking the vow of pleasure into a bruise on the side of your neck before withdrawing completely to lean back against the stack of firewood, giving the both of you room to catch your breath.

You had to shake your head of the daze he’d left you in before you could continue, agile fingers reconnecting the ignition leads before you stepped away from the hood completely, swiping at your cheek with your forefinger and leaving yet another dark, greasy smudge. 

“The oil still needs changing but at least we won’t be getting anymore misfires. At least, we shouldn’t.” You wiped your hands on the dirty rag still draped over his shoulder and he licked his thumb, rubbing at the dark smudge above your brow but to now avail. You waved him off, ducking out from his fussing with a look of irritation. “Alright, Dad, I’ll clean myself up later, Christ.” You folded your arms across your chest, before remembering exactly why he wanted to get rid of the smudges, and snorting a laugh. 

“His blood is on your hands if he keels over at the sight of you.” Logan shrugged just as Todd emerged from the barn, wheeling the good-as-new bike along with him.

“A’ight Logan, she should be all ready for ya. Though I’d take ‘er steady to start, I don’t–” The man stopped the second his eyes shifted to you, and he clutched his heart dramatically. “Oh my lord this is it, I’ve seen the light! An angel! Here! Standin’ before me!” He sank to his knees and you chuckled madly, Logan shaking his head in disappointment. “Oh, nope, beggin’ yer pardon. It’s just yer girl.” Todd stood, dusting off his knees and sending you yet another wink, clearly having heard Logan’s comment. “Well, that’s me all finished up then. Comes to around fifty dollars.”

You and Logan exchanged a glance of knowing. You were both well aware Todd had been giving you both discounted prices. Hell, just getting the spark plugs replaced was around eighty, and he was only charging you fifty for both the plugs and the brake calliper? You and Logan had prepared for this moment. He gave you a subtle nod, and you pranced forward, hooking your arm around Todd’s shoulders. A perfect distraction. Logan stepped up behind the two of you silently, slipping the extra hundred-and-twenty into Todd’s pocket, listening to you ask about the difference in performance between the firing cylinders on a V6 and a V8 engine and not really listening to the answer. 

“Well, I think that’s everything, right Lo’?” You asked and he confirmed with a brief nod as you pat Todd’s shoulder once, letting Logan take the lead and make a show out of counting out fifty dollars from his wallet. You left them to it, folding away the prop for the truck hood and slamming it shut, giving the side a gentle pat. The pickup really had served you well for the last six months, and you couldn’t quite bring yourself to either consider getting a replacement car. You’d grown kind of attached to it, developing a taste for the more rugged things in life. 

You couldn’t help but look over at Logan alongside the thought. Rugged things indeed. You leaned against the car door as the two men made their way back over to you, and your ears picked up on their ongoing conversation as Logan stopped by your side. 

“She’s a gem, Logan. Fuck knows how yer ugly mug managed to bag ‘er, but you look after ‘er, ya hear me?” Todd jammed a finger towards his aforementioned ‘ugly mug’  in an empty threat.

“Loud ‘n clear, Todd.” He sent the man a false salute, settling an arm around your shoulder and you instantly leaned into his side. Todd took both your hands in his own and Logan fought the urge to laugh. 

“An’ if this one ever pisses y’off, you know where t’ find me.” He grinned and you chuckled heartily.

“You’ll be the first one to know.” You responded with such conviction Logan had to double take, though your partially imperceptible smile eluded to your sarcasm. You were incredibly good at that. At saying the very thing people wanted to hear. You were also incredibly good at saying the opposite of what people wanted to hear, one too many bar fights started because some handsy asshole decided you were a prime target. If it didn’t piss him off so much, he’d sit back and watch as you both verbally and occasionally physically beat a motherfucker down.

But unfortunately, handsy motherfuckers at bars did piss him off. Monumentally. And though he rarely threw the first punch, he would always throw the second. You didn’t need defending. He knew that. But that didn’t mean he was going to stop.

“Right. Well, I’ll see you both soon then. Best’ve luck with the bike, and my door’s always open for the both of yous, whatever ya need.” He nodded as you both waved him goodbye, standing in the driveway until he disappeared down the track and past the treeline. You hummed a contented smile.

“You’re gonna get a really angry text later, you know that. How much did you slip him?” You asked, stretching your arms high above your head and checking Logan’s watch on his wrist. The time had just gone midday, the sun still casting speckled shadows through the canopy. 

“One-twenty. Brake callipers aren’t particularly cheap.” He admired the way your arms flexed as you stretched, that bruise he’d sucked into your neck blossoming a dark purple. He needed to control himself if he wanted to make good on his promise to you six months ago. “Fancy a drive?”

You spun round to him, eyes sparkling with excitement. “I’ll get my boots!”

Biting wind whipped your unbound hair, exhilaration flooding your system as you clung to Logan’s leather jacket, your cheek resting against his spine. True to his word, he’d taken you out for the day on the back of the bike, finding a secluded, forested cliffside for the two of you to perch on. It wasn’t quite the lakeside romance he’d planned for you before, but it still worked to perfection, watching the clouds pass by overhead, the view a palette of every shade of red, orange and yellow, trees igniting as the sun began to sink low in the sky, faded the bright blue to a softer pale pink as the daylight descended into twilight. 

His hand secured your arm around his middle, caressing the sleeve of your jacket with his thumb with soothing swipes. Glancing over his shoulder, Logan smiled to himself as you nestled closer into his back, your arms tightening around his waist. One of your hands spread up his chest and over his heart, something he’d noticed you started doing absently, subconsciously. His soul sang along with the warmth you brought.

“Y’okay back there?” he called over his shoulder, returning to face the road. He felt you shift in what he could discern was a nod of your head, patting his abs twice.

“Perfect!” he caught your response over the roar of the engine and the whistle of the wind in his ears. Though you sounded alright, something had been off about you. You covered it well, playing around with Todd, nestling into his embrace as you watched the setting sun, but Logan had been seeing that faraway look on your face more often recently. 

It started around a week ago when you were looking for a new book to read after finishing your old one. You were sifting through the bookcase, carefully removing old sketchbooks the two of you had filled and grainy photographs taken on a digital camera when Logan heard you stop abruptly. He’d been oiling a baking dish when eerie silence greeted his ears, and by the time you returned back down the stairs, that vacant look had returned to your eye, the shitty romance novel clutched in your hands.

He’d asked if you were alright, but you waved off his concern with a huffed laugh of dismissal. Though Logan could see it, he didn’t press you. You’d talk about it when you were ready. You always did. 

Turning off the tarmac and down the track to the cabin, Logan took your hand over his heart in his own and dipped down to press a kiss to the top of your knuckles. He was rewarded with a squeeze of your fingers, kicking down the footstand as he parked up next to the truck. He couldn’t smell any rain on the air tonight, so he was happy to leave the bike out and just cover it with the tarp from the barn. 

Swinging your leg over the back of the bike, you cupped the side of his furry jaw, stooping to mould your lips to his grateful kiss, your warm smile infectious. Logan sighed into your mouth, his hands tugging you closer by the waist until you stood between his knee and the bike. His palm moved to the back of your thigh as you swiped your tongue along the seam of his parted lips, your taste sweet honey on his tongue whilst he pulled you onto his lap, two steadying hands braced on the dips of your waist.

“‘M gonna fuck you on this bike… wanted to do it since I first saw the thing,” you breathed against his cheek before dipping below his jaw, suckling little nibbles against his skin. Logan groaned lowly. You’d been teasing him all damn day,  from the way he ate you out that morning to the way he ground against your ass when you were changing the spark plugs. His cock twitched as he let himself hope he would finally find the relief he needed deep within your cunt. 

You rolled your hips against his growing erection as he sat more deeply in the saddle, your legs perched daintily on the foot pegs on either side of his calves. Nimble fingers fiddled with the front of his thick belt, unlacing the buckle from the loop and pulling the two halves aside. Logan growled at your urgency, appreciating the swift tug of his zipper, your fingertips ghosting along the waistband of his briefs, causing his skin to prickle in anticipation. Scratching through the happy trail leading down beneath the elastic, you bit down into his throat, drawing a gasp from his chest. 

He could do nothing but hold you tight as your hand finally sank beneath his briefs, curious fingers circling around the shaft of his cock and tightening your grip. His eyes screwed shut when you circled his sensitive tip with your thumb, his mouth falling open with heavy pants, his hips bucking up into your soft palm. Your nails clawed against the nape of his neck as he pushed you from his throat, turning the tide and sinking his teeth into the soft flesh behind your ear, licking and biting at the same bruise he’d left there earlier. You whimpered against him, and the scent of your arousal teased his nose. 

You tugged his hard cock from his briefs, shoving the fabric down as far ar you could. Logan shivered slightly, the cold air caressing his raging length as you released him to fiddle with the buttons and zipper of your jeans. 

Too long. It would take too long. Logan needed to be inside you yesterday. With a heated hiss, he slid his middle claw from his knuckle, using his other hand to grip both your wrists. “Stay still…” he murmured, bracing the tip of his claw over the clothed apex of your thighs. You gasped, promptly sandwiching your lower lip between your teeth when the ripping of fabric caused your gut to churn. Logan’s nose twitched as your quaking cunt gushed to soak the crotch of your underwear, and you both looked down, equally as surprised at your reaction. 

“Yeah?” he queried with a raised brow, ever-so-softly dragging his claw down the inside of your thigh. You pitched an airy whine, tugging tightly at the hair on the back of his head. To see you like this, gaping and breathless because of his claws did something wicked to him. Instruments that had previously only been used for death had suddenly become something so much more, gifting you with sharp peaks of pleasure when he dragged the back of it over your throbbing clit. 

You nodded desperately, breathing hard through your nose when he hooked that same sharp claw around the waistband of your underwear, slicing clean through the fabric and exposing your pulsing cunt. “Fuck…” you breathed as he retracted the silver claw, giggling slightly when he lifted you against him, pausing to tease your dripping entrance with the head of his cock. 

“‘course you get off on knives…” he muttered, smirking wildly as you attempted to sink onto his cock, using your weight to push down on the hands holding you aloft. You groaned in frustration, dragging a wicked chuckle from his throat, before he slowly pulled you down, humming a low moan as your tight walls welcomed his thick shaft. 

“Should… should do that again… sometime.” You panted into his mouth, barely able to form your words as you slowly roll your hips against him, earning yourself a gravelly grunt along with your movements. “So fucking hot.” You gasped as he thrust up into you, using the bike’s suspension to bounce you slightly as you clung to him, your fingers buried in his hair.

Logan looked down to where he rhythmically disappeared up into you, his breath hitching as you took one of his hands from around your waist and pressed your fingers into his knuckles, right where the slight hurt of his claw healed over. His cock twitched as you massaged his knuckles gently, finding just the right spot between each bone where his claws usually split. He couldn’t help the way his jaw fell open, his eyes rolling when you lifted his hand to your mouth and tongued one of the three surprisingly sensitive skin. 

“Fuck… Fuck! D’do that again…” Logan fucking stuttered as you repeated the motion with your tongue the very same way he would when he ate you out. Pleasure surged through his veins at the newfound discovery of the erogenous zone, thrusting up into you deliciously and causing you to bite down at the bone of his knuckle as the tip of his cock brushed against that patch of ecstasy inside you. 

You held his gaze as you made a show of dipping your tongue in the slits between his knuckles, closing your lips around the skin and sucking the same way you would against his cock. Logan furiously drove into you, still holding your waist with his one hand whilst you lavished the other. Eight months he’d been seeing you, and not once in that entire time had he ever come before you with his cock inside you, always taking extra care to make sure you hit your high at least once before he found his own. But with the liquid heat pulsing in his veins, he didn’t know if he could last.

He was thankful when your other hand left his wrist, skirting down beneath the waistband of your torn jeans to play with your own clit, throwing your head to the sky as the building pleasure wracked your body, only to bring his knuckles back to your lips. 

Your walls clenched tightly around his thrusting cock, deft fingers toying with your own pearl when your thighs started to shake, your whimpers and moans climbing in pitch, the vibrations of your voice tingling against the skin of his hand. 

Logan felt his own high cresting, his back tensing as his balls drew up, trying in vain to hold your failing gaze. Watching your eyes roll back into your skull was his undoing, feeling you coating his cock as you came around him, your teeth sinking into those little patches of pure pleasure shoving him over the edge of tension and into the honey-coated lightning storm of ecstasy. He cried your name, sharp pulses of fire shaking his system as he exploded inside you, coating your inner walls white.

Your brows pinched, mouth forming a perfect O as you struck your peak, his aphrodisiac cries of your name pulling you under as you simultaneously came with each other. You’d never felt him come so hard, and through your pleasure-addled brain, you assumed it was the result of being so pent up all day. Logan clung to you like a lifeline, nestling his face against the nook of your neck as he continued to twitch inside you, those overwhelming waves finally receding until he was basking in the full afterglow.

You panted hard, finally releasing his hand to grab at his shoulders, anchoring yourself against him to recover from just how hard your release had wrecked your body, barely able to laugh breathlessly and in utter disbelief into the little peaks of his hair. Logan grit his teeth together as you lift yourself off him to sit back on his sturdy thighs. How you managed to absolutely wreck him every goddamn time he didn’t know, but at least he’d been working on his self-control, and his claws didn’t slice your mouth open.

“That was fuckin’ dangerous…” he murmured, swiping his thumb along your lower lip. “Coulda hurt ya.” His brows pinched with genuine concern and you pressed your forefinger into the creases between them, easing his worries.

“How have we waited until now to use your claws? Such a good idea!” You were way too enthusiastic about that, and Logan simply huffed a laugh, looking up at you through dark lashes. 

“Not a good idea. Sure it was good today–”

“Logan it was fucking great today–” he clamped a hand over your mouth, silencing your protests. 

“But I can’t guarantee I’m always gonna have that kind of control. I could’ve done some real damage.” He knew reprimanding you was going to do absolutely nothing. Not when it had felt so fucking good, and you’d seen and felt what it had done to him. “Where’d you even get that idea?” He asked as you giggled a little mischievously, swinging your legs back over the bike and shimmying a little as you felt him drip from your cunt. Logan snorted as you squirmed awkwardly, tucking himself back in his briefs, not bothering to re-buckle his belt before scooping you into his arms and carrying you bridal-style to the cabin.

“Just came to me in the moment. I’m sensitive around my scars, so I guess it made sense to me that you would be as well. Or rather, if scars could be left on your body.” You shrugged, your arms looping loosely around his neck, your head resting against his shoulder as you reached into his pocket for the key, inserting the metal into the lock. 

Logan nodded in understanding as if your explanation made sense. And, in a way, it did. You were sensitive around your scars. He knew that better than anyone. At any point he wanted to distract you from something, all he needed was to nip at the mark on your neck, swipe his thumb against any of the four bullet wounds on your chest, or even pinch lightly at the one on your inner thigh, and you’d throw your head back with a breathy gasp.

So it checked out that, if scars could be left on his body, he’d react similarly. Which he had done. 

You tossed the keys into the bowl on the kitchen windowsill as Logan carried you through the cabin and up the stairs. You couldn’t pretend you weren’t enjoying the treatment, and at the very least it was preventing his cum from dripping uncomfortably down your leg. 

Laying you on the bed, he pressed a sweet kiss to the top of your brow, before disappearing into the ensuite. “Why aren’t you pregnant yet?”

You choked on your spit, half laughing half coughing at his question as he returned to you with a warm, damp towel clutched in his hands. “Come again?” you asked, still in recovery.

“We’ve been fucking, unprotected, for months now, and you still regularly get your period. Sure, you’re ovulating at the moment–”

“Logan!?” You gaped, kicking him lightly with the side of your foot as he cleaned you up, tossing the towel to the side and innocently dragging down your ruined jeans.

“But I’m just curious. Surely something woulda happened by now, even just a scare,” he pulled open your drawer, rummaging around until he recovered your favourite dark grey sweatpants.

“You got a point. Maybe it’s my mutation? I guess my body sorta resets itself every time I shadow walk, almost like a default state,” You shrugged, sitting up as he handed you the pair of trousers to replace the ones he’d ripped. “I guess if we wanna know then we could always just…” You trailed off and Logan turned from where he was changing his own clothes, comfy loungewear pulled up to his waist. 

Following your line of sight, Logan’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. He knew where you were looking, and if he was being truly honest with himself, he knew what you’d found a week ago. He wasn’t blind. The first month settling into the cabin, you’d cast fleeting glances at the bookcase where the folder was nestled, and he didn’t know whether you thought he wouldn't notice, but he did. 

The months went by and you didn’t quite forget about it, but you learned to live with it. Until a week ago, when you were searching for a new book to read. Logan didn’t know if you were ready. Shit, he didn’t know if he was ready. He’d only scanned a few pages of the file and he was truly terrified of what he’d discover if he’d looked at the pages in more detail. 

His blood turned to ice as you stood, approaching the shelving as if it would lash out and bite you. Steeling your nerves, you reached behind the first layer of books, parting them slightly as you retrieved the thick folder detailing every day of your life. Every horror you endured, every agonised second. You inhaled a shaky breath, returning to the bed and setting it down. 

NLMO. Subject Eight. “Phantom”.

Logan slowly came to sit by your side, taking your hand in his own, a silent gesture to remind you he was here. You looked up from the file, uncertainty swirling in your irises.

“I have to…” you whispered, trembling slightly as you went to open the folder, only for Logan to stop you.

“No. You don’t. You’re safe here. Nothin’ can get to you, sweetheart. Only do this if you want to, not because you feel like you have to.” You squeezed his hand, gaze flickering from the sincerity in his face to the handwriting on the documents containing who you were.

“I do have to do this, but I have to do this for me. Not for anyone else. I still have so many questions, Lo’. I don’t understand why Rowan is still there and I’m here. I need to know what happened. To all of us.” You spoke with such conviction, that Logan knew you’d made up your mind. Covering your hand positioned at the corner of the folder, he nodded.

“Alright then. We do this. Together.”

“You don’t have t–”

“I promised you I wouldn’t leave you whilst my heart was still beating, yeah? Do I look dead to you?” You snorted a laugh, shifting to lie on your front. Logan waited until you settled yourself before he too shuffled about, lying almost on top of you so his cheek was practically pressed against your own.

“Dead gorgeous maybe.” You grinned, and he pinched your waist, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Just open the fuckin’ folder, freak.”

You turned your attention back to your past, once again inhaling a long, shaky breath. “Ready?” you asked, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. 

Logan nodded once in response. “Ready.” And the two of you turned the first page to your past.

For the some of the part, the documents within were mundane. It was incredibly creepy to start off with, knowing every moment of the life you remembered was being observed and written down, but it quickly became more of a story and less of a recounting. Logan would often crinkle his nose in confusion. “Wait, which one’s Subject Three again?” He’d ask, to which you’d respond with a sigh and a long look. “That’s Joseph, or Janus. He can teleport. Kinda like Kurt but less smoky.” And he would raise his head with understanding, before continuing to read in silence. 

You were okay for the first few pages, Ex.3 shook you up a little, reading about a memory you simply don’t have where they pushed your mutation to the limit alongside your bother. Deprivation and indulgence indeed. You took deep breaths through the surge of anxiety, Logan holding you close to him, asking softly if you needed anything. You just shook your head. You were fine. There were worse things to come. If you couldn’t handle this, how would you be okay with everything else?

The first big obstacle arose in 1944. The day was usual, you’d woken up, made breakfast with Rowa, and visited Jade, before they took you out for experimentation. It was the shift at Shots Shack. The one where you’d been flirted with all night and ended up fucking one of the customers in the bin shed.

Except, that’s not what happened at all. It was an accident. The result of a guard getting far too handsy with you. You’d fought him off as much as you could, but Subject One hadn’t restored your memories yet, so your mutation was at its baseline. You clenched your jaw as you kept reading, nausea roiling in your gut as Kreva detailed his observations, from your agonised screams for him to stop to the way you couldn’t stop shaking after he was done. You could barely stomach another sentence before a particularly vivid description of what was left behind had you detangling from Logan’s arms, racing to the bathroom and throwing up the contents of your stomach. You were kept under extreme observation after the incident. Not to make sure you were alright, but to look out for any signs of fucking pregnancy.

Logan had to suppress his burning hatred, not finding enough justice in knowing that the guard was let go from his position. He should be torn to fucking pieces for what he did. But flying off the handle wouldn’t help you. He followed you to the bathroom, gathering your hair in his hands as you convulsed over the toilet seat, the acidic stench of pure bile burning his nose. 

It was a fairly fond memory, what supposedly happened that night, only now for it to be tainted forever by the truth of what really happened. Your gasp echoed into the toilet bowl as you wretched again, your skin itching as if you hadn’t washed in days. 

“What’d you need?” Logan asked, gently scratching down your spine as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. Your weak response of “Shower…” Had him moving instantly, opening the window before turning the dial of the shower, letting it warm before he helped you to your feet. 

“Where d’you need me?” He asked as you swallowed hard, clinging to his arm.

“Here.” You whispered, before slowly removing your clothes. Logan helped you out of your sweater, leaving you to pull down your own sweatpants unlike what had been written in the folder, before he guided you into the steam. Stripping himself of his own clothes, Logan stepped in after you, his heart breaking in two as you instantly sought his embrace.

He held you beneath the warm water until he completely lost track of time, your face nestled beneath his chin, his thumb slowly caressing up and down your spine. Occasionally your shoulders would spasm with a stifled sob, and he’d whisper sweet nothings into the top of your head. You were safe with him. He was going to look after you. He’d never let them find you again. 

Despite having read your previous experiences, his hands on your body felt clean. Pure. Nothing about Logan was tainted in the same way that memory was. You nuzzled your nose further into the hair on his chest, feeling the aura of comfort wrap around your heart. He had you. He wasn’t letting you go. 

Promises and vows drowned by the hum of water left his lips until you took a deep breath, stepping back from his embrace and meeting his gaze with newfound determination. You were okay. You’d be okay. Reaching behind him, Logan turned the dial for the water pressure until it was off completely, barely separating far enough from you that you could wrap a fluffy, heated town around your shoulder before he was stuck to your back again like a limpet. You weren’t complaining. It was absolutely what you needed right now. His presence. His touch. Knowing he wasn’t going to leave your side no matter what. No matter how broken your past, or how ruined you may be. He’d be by your side through all of it. 

Logan kissed the top of your head, stepping ahead of you to snap the folder closed and shove it somewhere out of sight, but you stopped him before he could. 

“I’m okay…” you murmured, loosening your grip on his forearm a little. He tensed his jaw, looking between you and the file. The mere fact that you were alright to continue was a testament to your courage. If he was being honest with himself, Logan didn’t know how much more he could read before it was you holding his hair back. And you giggled as he said just that. “Big baby.” You teased lightly, threading your fingers through his dark strands, swiping the damp back from his brow. 

“‘Scuze me if I’m not exactly thrilled to read all the agony they put the love of my life through…” he admitted with a soft huff, unable to meet your gaze as your eyes lit up. You rose to your tiptoes, moulding your lips against his in a soft, reassuring kiss, before pulling back. You chose not to mention it, how he’d never said anything like that to you in the last eight months you’d been together. You chose not to pinpoint the moment of vulnerability, opting instead to let his words settle in your heart. 

You didn’t know the time and honestly didn’t want to. Making yourselves two cups of tea, you returned back to the folder on the bed, once again getting comfortable. “Well. That was fucking harrowing…” you commented flatly as if you’d read something in the news, and Logan grunted in agreement, raising his fresh mug of tea to his mouth. He’d never been a tea drinker in the past, but living with you had turned him to all kinds of interesting new habits. “Ready for more…?” you asked with a wry smile to mask your nerves. He shot you an exhausted look but nodded nonetheless as you flipped through the papers to return to the one you’d had to leave. “Yeah no okay we don’t need to continue that one, we get the gist of it…” you turned the page hurriedly, smoothing out the paper as you pushed the contents behind you.

Year by year you kept reading, huffing little laughs as Kreva noted down everything NLMO got up to. From stealing some man’s car in the 1950s to graffitiing a wall with a penis in the 1980s. And whilst you knew your entire life was a simulation, it was almost gratifying to see that half of the things you remembered really did happen. You really did cook food with your brother. You really did hang out with Jade, or Kaleidoscope, every day. Erin, or Wood-Nymph, really did teach you how to grow plants effectively. You used to sit with Morgana, or Sanguine, and sketch together. Atlas, or Harmony, used his mutation to heal you up every time you ‘got into a fight’. You refused to refer to them by their numbers, just as you would refuse to refer to yourself that way too. 

Logan wasn’t expecting the moments of peace within the file. He’d only skimmed a few pages back in the med bay and hadn’t picked it up since, so he was pleasantly surprised every time you chuckled lightly at your old shenanigans. You would offer small anecdotes of what you remembered, providing further context to what he was reading. 

It broke him apart, however, when you went quiet. When you’d turn the page and be faced with the reality of what was happening to you. Psychological torture to test your mind’s durability. Scans and tests that had you screaming in pain as they injected you with various drugs, just to see how your mutation would react, if at all. These were the moments when Logan would hold you tighter against his side, eyes flickering from the pages to your face to guage where you were mentally. 

1962, your mouth fell open as you scanned down the experiment report. They were helping you develop your mutation. Logan too pinched his brows in confusion. You’d been able to call the shadows at will, conjuring various objects, weapons, and appendages without a sweat. “Wh– How?” you muttered to yourself, flipping back through the pages you’d already read as if to find some kind of answer. Logan stilled your hand, his eyes scanning furiously down the log before pointing to a paragraph roughly a quarter of the way down the page.

“There.”

Sub.8 only seems to access its mutation after we use Sub.1 to refocus its brain. Whereas 5 had access to its full range of powers at all times, 8 shows signs of regression when 1 replaces its memories. To combat this, I have 1 reassemble only the memories it needs to regain full control and access to its mutation. The reasons for this are, as of right now, unclear. However, it is suspected that, though subconscious, 5 retains muscle memory of utilisation. It could be that 8 is so resilient because it simply forgets even on a subconscious level. Further investigation is needed to yield an answer.

You rolled your eyes, muttering a sarcastic “Oh, very helpful.” Before you continued flipping through the pages.

Spending the next day in bed, Logan was up and down the stairs, mainly to stretch his legs every now and then, but also to grab snacks and drinks before falling back down next to you on the bed, offering you a bite of whatever he’d snatched. You’d continue reading the document in front of you, absently opening your mouth before sinking your teeth into what you learned was a block of cheese. Only then did you look away from the text, shooting him a look of bafflement. 

“An entire block of cheese?”

“‘M hungry.” He shrugged defensively, and you snorted a laugh, shaking your head as you returned to the words before you.

Logan didn’t know how you did it. He’d seen you sit for hours, with a nose buried in a book, but this was on another level. In the last twenty hours, he thinks he saw you get up and stretch once, head to the bathroom maybe three times, and take a roughly two-hour power nap. He, on the other hand, had to stand every hour or so, his legs feeling like dead weights if he lay down for much longer than that. The stacks of pages evened out slowly before finally, the read side looked far larger than the to-read side. 

Setting down another mug of sweetened coffee on your nightstand, a new secret recipe of espresso mixed with hot chocolate, Logan lay back down next to you, skim-reading the rest of the page where he’d left off before you turned it over. It was how he forced you to give your eyes a break. You couldn’t continue until he’d finished the page you shared, and you only looked away when you’d reached the bottom and he’d stood up to go somewhere. 

You’d reached 2013 now, only seven years ago, and the two of you were coming to the end of the folder. Flipping over the final page, you were met with penmanship rather than the typeface you’d become used to. Glancing to Logan, he returned your look of trepidation, before you started to read it aloud. 

6th April, 2013. Fuck fuck FUCK! He’s let them all fucking go. FUCK! I barely managed to save their folders before the stupid bastard blew up the whole FUCKING FACILITY! I don’t know how he managed to get 1 to alter their memories without coercing it, but they’ve all scattered across the fucking country. We need to start rebuilding. We need to get them back. Now. We cannot let this research go to waste. They need to be understood. If we are to create an army of these mutants, we need them to return and continue understanding their fundamentals. 5 was the easiest to manipulate, and 1 didn’t know how to run. I found it lying on the ground by the road. I will rebuild what he destroyed, I will find them all again. I’ll continue the work of my great-grandfather. But if anything should go wrong… I’ll have 5 eradicate all evidence. 

That was the last entry in your folder, and you wondered if any of the other seven had a similar log. Blowing out a long breath, you folded the file closed, turning to look at Logan as he seemed stuck in his head. A palm against his cheek, you turned him to look at you, tilting your head to the side in silently questioning.

“Hundred-and-five.” Was all he said, and you squinted in confusion.

“Hm?”

“That’s how old you are. At the start, it said you were sixteen. The first entry was in 1931, and the last entry was in 2013. Add the last seven years to that, and you’re hundred-and-five years old.” You stayed silent, attempting to wrap your head around his calculations. Over a century, you’d been alive. And eighty-two years of it was spent in a simulation, your memories being replaced almost daily. It was like your brain was a computer software they updated every ten years, making sure the background to your memories matched the decade. Fucking hell.

“Guess I can’t really make fun of you for your age anymore, huh…?” You smiled a little sadly, genuinely upset that half your jokes were now completely voided due to the fact you weren’t that much younger than him. You still didn’t know his age for sure, and neither did he. “But, looking on the bright side… at least I won’t grow old and grey whilst you look gorgeous forever.” You elbowed him softly in an attempt to lighten the mood.

If this was how you chose to cope with it, then Logan would be happy to go along with you. “You were worried ‘bout that?” he asked, raising a thick brow as you nodded.

“It crossed my mind, sure.” You shrugged, before kicking the folder to the floor, its once imposing presence in the room was now little more than an inconvenience taking up too much of the bed. The silence settled as you contemplated that last page. A mutant army. It didn’t seem possible. Who would be willing to join something like that? And why would any mutant fight for a human doctor? But you couldn’t shake your growing fear. And now he’d gathered whoever was left of NLMO, minus yourself and Jade. And since Jade was dead, you were the last on his list.

The thought didn’t scare you. You knew what you needed to do. And you were pretty sure Logan knew it too. 

“We need to get you back to Charles…” he whispered in defeat, being the braver of the two to actually voice what needed to happen. You needed your full mutation, and if the file was to be believed, the only way you could get it back, was if your memories were restored. Your real memories.

Closing your eyes, you tensed your jaw as you nodded in agreement, still too afraid to speak it into existence. Truth be told, you didn’t want your memories back. Whilst you weren’t exactly thrilled at what happened to you, it felt so far away, since you don’t remember living through any of it. “What if…” you started, trailing off almost immediately as you found the right words. “What if I’m not… me, anymore. If he can get them back, my memories… what if I’m different than I am now?” You asked timidly, avoiding looking anywhere near his face by fiddling with one of the tassels of his zipper hoodie.

Logan sighed through his nose, clasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger and raising your head so he could look you in the eye. Honestly, it scared him too, what those memories might do to you, but he also knew who you were. At your core. At the centre of your being. He knew exactly who and what you were. 

“You’ll be different, sure. But you’ll still be you,” he urged you to meet his gaze, adjusting his grip on your chin every time your eyes shifted from his own. “No matter what happens. No matter who or what you are after you remember, I’ll be right here.” His fingers shifted from your chin to your jaw, sandwiching your face between his calloused palms, his thumbs tracing the shadows beneath your eyes. 

Your head settled against his brow, simply feeling him close to you, whispering a quiet “Okay…” before he pressed a kiss of assurance to your lips. You smiled against him, your breath fanning his mouth and chin. 

“Glad I changed the spark plugs now… shame about the oil.” You chuckled slightly, and Logan rolled his eyes. 

“Think an oil change is the least of our concerns…” he mumbled, before you sat back, rubbing a tired hand down the side of your face. You looked exhausted, but then again, you always did. “Well, no time like the present, huh?” A rapid sigh flew from parted lips and you scrambled off the bed, pulling your rucksack out of the closet. Logan made to follow your lead, before halting as rhythmic, low vibrations hummed from the bedside drawer. His wry gaze slid to you, a brow raised in sly amusement. 

You held your hands up in innocence. “Don’t look at me! My drawer’s on that side! Plus it has an off switch, thank you!” You huffed, folding your arms across your chest. Logan’s brow furrowed in confusion, wrenching the drawer open, various different objects clattering around with the force, including his unused mobile phone. It was rudimentary, barely more modern than the Nokia Brick, sporting large thick buttons rather than a screen. What small screen it did have illuminated as Logan chuckled at the name, holding up the mobile so you could read it. 

TODD

You snorted a laugh, checking the time on the phone simultaneously. Had he really only found the sneaky money after almost two days? At two in the morning? “Told ya you’d receive an angry text or call!” You grinned triumphantly, Logan tossing the phone back down on the bed to let it ring out. He’d return his call on the road whenever you’d inevitably fallen asleep, and listen to whatever long-winded reprimanding he had coming his way. 

“Stay in the car…” he’d growled, his nose twitching as he sensed something wasn’t quite right. Your heart thundered in your throat as he opened his door, claws sliding from his knuckles, surveying the treelines on either side of the road. The air beyond the cab was quiet. Too quiet. And Logan angled his head to the sky, inhaling deeply before exhaling a threatening snarl. 

Something was very wrong. 

You linked your fingers through the handle of your door, pulling against the mechanism. Logan whipped to look at you through the driver’s side, his eyes wide and panicked as you shot him a look back. You weren’t fucking defenseless for Christ’s sake. You were a powerful mutant even without the whole scope of your abilities. 

You stepped out of the car despite his protests, waiting for something to happen the moment your feet touched the tarmac.

Silence.

You took a step forward.

Silence.

Casting a glance over to Logan, you watched as his chest heaved with adrenaline, and you didn’t fight the urge to cross the road with the intention of setting him at ease.

The second you were crossing the headlights, the dark road ahead exploded with light, shadows disappearing as a single gunshot rang out.

Logan’s world froze as blood exploded from your chest, spraying the hood and windshield of the pickup. A look of confusion tilted your head, before realisation dawned on your features and you staggered back, your breath strained in your throat as a dark line of crimson slid from the corner of your mouth. Pain wracked his chest as Logan roared, though his desperate attempts to get to you were in vain, finding his limbs sluggish and his brain hazy. 

Your knees gave out as you collapsed onto the road, splitting your head against the tarmac. This is why you haven’t left for six months. This was the exact reason why he’d kept you safe in the cabin. Logan supported himself against the truck, dragging his stubborn legs across the ground, his vision swimming. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. All you needed was a shadow and you’d be okay. He’d deal with the rest. He just needed to get his shadow within your reach. 

“The Wolverine. I’ve heard a lot about you.” A voice echoed around the trees lining the road, that pocket-sized sun moving closer to where you lay, gasping and bleeding, with no shadow to disintegrate into. “You’re extremely hard to get rid of. I never take Subject Two anywhere, yet here it was needed to keep you at bay. An impressive little mutant. It can manipulate blood cells. You see, right now, it’s slowed the beat of your heart to the point where you feel… drowsy? Sluggish? Exhausted? How’re you feeling right now?” He almost mocked, crouching down to where Logan had fallen to the floor, inches away from you. But the light had moved, his shadow now behind him and nowhere near where you needed it.

“Kreva.” He hissed, his claws slowly sliding from his knuckles and scratching along the tarmac. You gurgled weakly, making a subconscious reach for where Logan lay immobile, his eyes bloodshot. You’d read the file now. You knew all about NLMO and their individual mutations. Subject Two, Sanguine, could control and manipulate blood, whether it was her own or belonged to somebody, or something, else. And of course, that constant glow of sunlight belonged to Subject Five. Rowan. Solaris. Your brother. 

Your body itched as you bled out, begging for the haven of darkness to dissolve and reform, it was taking all of your strength to hold together those threads.

“It’s been cute, watching our Phantom domesticate the great Wolverine. But it couldn’t last. I still need it, unfortunately.” Dr.Kreva patted his hand against Logan’s arm as if in consolidate him, but it did nothing other than fuel his rage. Logan struggled against Sanguine, looking up at her shrouded face, eyes burning a deep red as she continued to manipulate his bloodstream. “Everyone step back!” Kreva called out, resulting in the team around him shuffling back a few feet.

“Don’t… don’t you– fuckin’ touch her!” Logan’s vision tunnelled slightly, barely managing to ground out his threat between clenched teeth. Kreva simply laughed with bitter condescending.

“Yes, I suppose I could let her bleed out. Though considering she’s been shot in the chest before and lived, I wonder how long it would take for her to actually die. Maybe that’ll be our last experiment. Whaddya say, Eight?” He bent over you, and you mustered up enough energy to spit a globule of blood into his face. He swiped at your crimson spit, cracking a hearty smile. “You haven’t changed a bit, have you? Subject Five, if you could.” Rowan moved behind Kreva, his shadow shrouding you in darkness and you fought the urge to dissolve into it, knowing that if you did, there would be nothing you could do. He had intimate knowledge of your mutation, he’d already prepared by bringing along your brother, let alone whatever else he’d had with him. You greet your blood-stained teeth, shivering as your body pleaded with you to let go. “You’ll give in, Eight. You always do. You tried this before. Not that you remember. Those scars on your wrists? You’ve tried this before and your body wouldn’t let you. So just give in…” He urged quietly, and you balled your fists, your nails digging harshly into the soft flesh of your palm. 

Your eyes slid to Logan a few feet away, his breath heaving in his chest, fear swirling in his wide hazel irises as he looked at you. 

“I will find you,” he grit, the tendons in his neck straining. “I promise. I will find you.”

You offered him a weary, bloody smile, and his heart broke as he saw the hope fade from your face. 

“I love you…” you barely managed a silent whisper, lingering just long enough to watch his whole world shatter through the windows to his soul, before you released the threads within your body, sinking into Kreva’s shadow. 

“Splendid,” Kreva clapped his hands together as if he’d done nothing but lit a fantastic barbecue. “Subject Five, you can stop now.” Like a switch had been flipped, the daylight glow resonating from your brother cut out, the torch beams from the truck headlights now the only remaining light. Logan clawed at the ground, his eyes lingering where he’d seen you last. You weren’t dead. He needed to remember that. You weren’t dead. But the way you spoke to him like it was the last time you were ever going to see him…

A cry of anguish worked its way up his throat, splitting the air as Kreva turned back to him like he’d just remembered he was there. “Oh, I know, hurts, doesn’t it? Let’s ease your pain for a while. Subject Two, if you’d be so kind.” 

Logan’s vision swam further, the pounding in his head growing to a crescendo as his heart rate slowed, knowing nothing more as his senses faded to black. 

It must have only been seconds of unconscious, the sky still shrouded in black clouds when he came to once again. Though Kreva was nowhere to be seen, a pool of crimson blood left behind where you once lay dying. 

You weren’t dead. You weren’t dead. 

Raising to his forearms, Logan shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind of the cobwebs, hazy memories dancing just out of his reach. Staggering to his feet, he craned his neck as the hum of a jet hovered overhead, recognising the Blackbird instantly, the sleek design blending in seamlessly with the sky above before the beams from the truck headlights illuminated the cockpit, steam hissing with pressure as the feet extended to the ground.

The engine was still whirring when Storm sprinted down the ramp toward him, her stark hair flowing behind her in the breeze she kicked up. Logan shook his head numbly as she approached, in answer to the question she had yet to ask. “Gone…” was all he could say, eyes sliding from Ororo to the bloodstain on the tarmac. Scott jogged up behind her, fingers braced at the side of his glasses before he stopped, seeing Logan’s expression.

There was a moment of understanding between the two men, Scott swallowing hard, Logan shaking his head still, slightly helpless before Scott stepped forward and firmly enveloped him in a tight embrace. 

“We’ll get her back, man. We will.” 

Logan’s breath shuddered as Scott drew back, keeping a hand firmly clasped atop his shoulder as Ororo looked between the two of them. “Kreva, right?” she asked rhetorically, though Logan nodded nonetheless.

“Yeah. Ambush. Had this freaky blood manipulator. I couldn’t fuckin’ get to her.” he bared his teeth, running a hand through his hair.

“How’d he even know where she was? Where were you headed?” Scott asked, continuously glancing around as if someone was eavesdropping on the conversation. But they’d gone. Kreva and his subjects had gone. 

And taken you with them.

“Headin’ back to you. We read the file. She needs her memories back if we want to use her mutation. I don’t have a clue how he knew. I just–”

The realisation struck Logan like a brick to the head, stopping abruptly as he absently removed his phone from his back pocket.

There, glaring in the low light, the sole reason for icy fury to flood his veins. There, the sole reason you weren’t by his side right now.

Logan gripped the phone in his palm, hearing the casing crack slightly as he read the text over and over, a name he thought he could trust. The only name he thought he could trust with you.

TODD:

Forgive me.

[pnghoon]

chatterbox !!

(🗣) ── 𝓛EE HEESEUNG [희승] ⁞ ㅤㅤ𝓰. fluff, crack, humor, high school au, drabbleㅤㅤ୨୧ㅤㅤ warning : est. relationship, not proofread, kissingㅤ⟡ㅤ!nonidol loser bf !hee 𝔁 fem gf !reader ㅤㅤᯓ ꒰ wc : 473꒱ ㅤㅤsynopsis .ᐟ in which your nerdy bf can't seem to shut up !! ── 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 ᡣ𐭩

juno's note ─ hey guys !! saur sorry for barely getting anything out this week :(( been so busy trying to balance my life, it's kinda hard to add writing into the equation sobs i'll prob be updating slower now since i have to prepare for school and stuff ..this drabble is like a little gift from me while i'm a little inactive hehe--if you enjoyed reading this, please be sure to like & reblog !! ♡

you were sure that if talking were a sport, heeseung would be an olympic gold medalist. his mouth had been running nonstop for the past hour as you both sat in the otherwise quiet library.

at this rate you were starting to lose track of whatever intricate video game strategy he was explaining--something about leveling up, defeating bosses, and… cowboys?

you leaned in closer, resting your chin on your hand as you watched him. he was truly an adorable sight, with his messy hair and round glasses that slid down his nose bridge every five minutes.

but sometimes, heeseung’s enthusiasm meant he could go on and on, losing track of time in the process.

“…and then, if you take the left route, you can ambush the other team from behind–” heeseung continued, doe eyes wide with excitement. his voice was a steady stream of strategies and character stats, completely oblivious to your half-hearted attempts to try and interject.

“heeseung,” you mumbled out softly, but he didn’t seem to hear you, too engrossed in his own world.

“and then, if you use the secret code--”

“heeseung!” you repeated, a bit louder this time, but he still didn’t seem to budge with his sea of endless words.

with a sigh, you closed your textbook and leaned over. desperate times called for desperate measures. grabbing the collar of his shirt, you tugged him closer and pressed your lips to his in one swift motion.

heeseung froze, his monologue cut off abruptly. the surprised squeak he let out was both adorable and hilarious, his eyes wide behind his round glasses.

the kiss was soft, sweet, and just long enough to send his heart racing. when you pulled back, he was staring at you, his face a shade of pink you’ve only ever seen in cartoons.

“w-what was that for?” he stammered, eyes wide and lips still parted in shock.

“you talk too much,” you answered, a playful smile tugging at your lips. “i had to find a way to shut you up.”

heeseung's mouth opened and closed a couple times like a fish out of water, clearly flustered.

“i-i wasn't talking that much,” he muttered out, though the way the tips of his ears were burning said otherwise.

“mhm, sure,” you teased, poking his cheek. “you're cute when you're all nerdy and passionate, but sometimes you need a little break.”

he pouted softly, trying to hide the smile that was forming on his lips. “so, does this mean you'll kiss me every time i talk too much?”

you pretended to think about it for a moment before nodding. “yep, every time.”

heeseung's eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned in closer, a cute grin plastered on his lips as his hand reached out to cup your cheeks.

“then i guess i'll have to talk a lot more.”

𝓢igning off... @pnghoon

── 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 [OPEN 🗯] @onlyhees @amouriu @greentulip @enhluv1 @samiikeu @hoonwhile @dearrwoni @won4kiss @jakesangel

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // february 26 // prompt: bed // words: 1,241 // cw: referenced sexual content // part 1 + part 2

“Barty, who’s at the— oh.” Regulus stops short.

“He was just leaving,” Barty says, then turns to James, “Weren’t you, Potter?”

“It’s fine, Barty, I’ve got it,” Regulus says, shifting so he can slip past Barty and come to stand right in front of James.

“You sure?” Barty asks. He maintains eye contact until Regulus nods. “Okay, well, don’t do anything stupid. Just yell if you need me.”

And with that, he turns to head back inside. Regulus is fairly sure he only walks down the hall so he can listen in, but he doesn’t mind it too much. Maybe he won’t jump James if he knows Barty is right there.

He regards James for a moment, wonders what he’s here for. His eyes frag down James’ form, but unfortunately, he doesn’t flinch under the scrutiny. And unfortunately, James looks good. Again. Or still. Either way, it’s doing dangerous things to Regulus resolve.

“What are you doing here?” He asks finally.

The corner of James’ mouth tugs up in a half-smile. “Hi, baby,” he says, and Regulus hates him. Hates that he looks all boyish and charming. Regulus wants to kiss him. No, kill him. Definitely kill him.

“James.”

“Yeah, sorry.” One of James’ hands comes up to scratch at the back of his head. “Um. Why wouldn’t Barty let me inside to see you?”

The question is sobering. Annoyance sparks in his gut and Regulus is getting tired of this game. Of this dance where they so clearly are avoiding the issue at hand, spinning around it until they’re so dizzy they can’t see anything but each other.

He crosses his arms in front of his chest, a fickle attempt at a barrier and shoots James an unamused glare. “Because you cheated on me?”

James’ face falls, confusion marring his features, wrinkling his forehead. Regulus has the urge to smooth it out. “What? When? And why?” Disbelief soaks his voice and now it’s Regulus’ turn to be confused.

“What?”

“Why would I cheat on you?”

“What?”

“Regulus, baby,” James sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you broke up with me because you thought I cheated?”

“You never corrected me!” Regulus splutters. He thinks back to the day they broke up, to the fight they had. The quiet resign when Regulus ended things. His friends had told him the silence was confession, but he’s not so sure now.

“How was I supposed to? I didn’t know.”

“I— You didn’t?”

“I didn’t cheat or I didn’t know?”

“Both!”

“Obviously not!”

James is closer now than he was a moment ago, close enough that Regulus could reach out and touch if he wanted to. By God, does he want to. This is exactly why he didn't let himself see James at all those first few months. He needed to build up tolerance. Resistance. But what good did it do him? He still ended up on his knees almost immediately.

The urge to touch makes his fingers tingle, a buzzing in his veins that he can't ignore.

“Well, it wasn’t obvious to me!” Regulus squeezes his eyes shut, embarrassment making it hard to maintain eye contact with James. There’s no way they broke up over nothing. There’s no way Regulus never confronted him, never gave James the chance to explain.

He opens his eyes again, sees James gnawing at his bottom lip. He looks softer today, more worn. The bravado and cockiness from their last two encounters nowhere to be seen.

“Regulus, what even gave you the idea…” James trails off, lets the end of the sentence hang in between them.

Regulus stares at the ground, at the scuffed toe of his shoe. He remembers the day well. Had made dinner for two and packed it so he could eat with James at work.

“I came to see you at the office because you were working late again and I overheard the new hire say that she fucked the guy who was training her.” Regulus’ heart had dropped right out from his chest and shattered into a dozen pieces when he heard it. He thinks he left a few behind.

He takes a breath, steeling himself to continue, but James cuts in with an excited, “Oh my God, Frank and Alice fucked? That’s why they disappeared during team drinks!”

“Frank?”

“Baby, Alice had two people training her. She wasn’t talking about me. Ask Frank if you want to be sure, but— Wait. Pause. Sorry, you fell into bed with me thinking I had cheated on you?”

Heat floods Regulus’ face. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Say no!” James sounds indignant.

As if it were easy to say no to James Potter. James with his messy smile, joy spilling from the corner of his mouth. James with his bright eyes and bright laugh. James with his warm hands that know just how to make Regulus writhe.

“Yeah, well…” Regulus racks his brain for any sort of defense, but he is only met with the image of James' naked form. “You thought I broke up with you for no reason and still slept with me!” He counters.

Now it’s James’ turn to flush, embarrassment making the tips of his hears turn red. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Say no!”

“Love, we both know I was never any good at saying no to you.” James’ voice is low as he says it, like a secret or a confession, not meant for anyone else’s ears. Regulus reaches behind him to tug the door shut. Barty does not need to hear this.

Regulus considers for a moment. Looks up at James through is lashes. “Neither am I, apparently.”

“Sounds like a flaw.” James inches closer, crowding Regulus against the front door. The buzzing in his veins quiets. “You should probably work on that.”

“Yeah?” Regulus murmurs. “Now?”

“Mm. Why not?” Both of James’ hands come to rest on Regulus’ hips. Regulus lets his head thud against the door just so he can look at James better. The mole under his lip and the finger print smudged on his glasses. James never did clean them well.

“Okay.”

“Can I kiss you?” James asks. His breath hits the side of Regulus’ face and Regulus can’t help but shiver.

“No.”

James’ fingers tighten their hold on Regulus, but he doesn’t lean in. Instead, he asks “Do you still love me?”

“No,” Regulus says again.

James huffs a laugh, forehead coming to rest on Regulus’ shoulder. Regulus’ hands come up to card through James’ hair. It’s comfortable. Familiar.

“Liar.” The word is muffled in the fabric of Regulus’ shirt. Then, “Will you go out with me?”

Regulus pretends to consider, but they both know the answer. “No more mistakes,” he says. “Just you and me.” And like any good promise, he seals it with a kiss.

---

is that a phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me [group • 4 members]

reg: so there may have been a slight misunderstanding

reg: pandora, you can delete the list

pandora: no, it’s my magnum opus

evan: besides, i still stand by page 29, paragraph 3, subsection 7

barty: yeah what kind of man wears crocs unironically

evan: exactly. is this the man you want to be with?

pandora: and don’t think i’ve forgotten the pizza night incident

reg: he just had pineapple on his pizza, please let it go

pandora: no

barty: absolutely the fuck not

evan: never

[luvyeni]

can i rqeuest makeup sex with jake (enha) omg-

❛MAD AT ME❜ ( s. jaeyun )

pairings. sim jaeyun x fem!reader words. 1k.

warnings? established relationship , boob play , fingering , unprotected sex , cockwarming

— 𖦹 ( jake can't go to sleep while you're mad at him ) !

"baby please." jake whined , you ignore your pouting boyfriend , putting on your sleepwear. "let's just talk about it , i don't want you to be mad at me." he sat down on the bed.

you weren't ignoring for no reason — absolutely not , the reason why you guys were fighting in the first place was because your boyfriend decided to bring over his group of friends to watch the game.

them being there wasn't the problem , it was fact that he hadn't told you before hand , and your apartment wasn't guest ready , and it wasn't like they made it any better — they made such a huge mess , and left leaving it up to you to clean it up. when confronting jake about it you thought he'd apologize , and offer to clean up — no , he if fact didn't , he insisted told you "it's not that big of deal."

this pissed you off and soon a argument ensued , which left both of you heated , jake went into the room to play the game , and you finished cleaning. he later returned back out of the room to apologize , but you being the stubborn girl he knew you were , ignored him , getting up to go into the room for bed — which leads to where you are now , climbing into the bed , your back facing him , and him desperately trying to get your attention.

"baby , i said i was sorry , i realized i was wrong now , i shouldn't have invited them over without telling you first." he took his shirt off , climbing into bed with you , wrapping his arms around you , pouting when you pulled away.

"go to sleep jake , we'll talk about it in morning." was the first thing you said to him in like the five hours you weren't talking.

"you know i can't sleep when you're mad at me." he wrapped his arms around your waist again. "i don't want you to be mad." he whispered into your ear , kissing the back of it.

"baby please , tell me what can i do." his hands crept up your shirt , he was trying to butter you up , you scoffed. "you're not about to fuck your way out of this."

his hand still found his way up your tank , until he reached your boobs , his hand engulfing them. "baby now we both know you can't sleep unless i give you an orgasm." his voice much deeper , soaking your panties.

"im just trying to help you out baby , you deserve to sleep well , even if i don't." the little fucker was smooth. his fingers toyed with your nipples , feeling them getting hard , his hard cock rubbing against your ass.

his other hand gliding down your stomach , holding you still as he grinding against you. "i'm sorry baby , i know i need to listen more." he pushed his hand into your pants , cupping your heat. "you're so wet , your pussy is dripping baby , why'd you try to deny me?"

you were tryina your hardest not to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan , but when he pulled your panties to the side , touching your clit ever so slightly — you couldn't help but let out a small whine.

"see baby." he kissed your neck. "stop being so stubborn , let me take care of you." he rubbed soft circles on your clit. "just let go."

he pushed his fingers into your dripping hole. "j-jake." you sighed , throwing your head back against his shoulders , lifting your leg just a bit , allowing him to fuck his fingers deeper into your hole. "your pussy is soaking my hand , you really needed me didn't you baby?" you nodded , unable to form a sentence.

"my stubborn little baby." he let out a "tsk" , his hand still squeezing your boob. "wouldn't let me explain myself , but you want me to let you cum on my fingers." you grinded down on his hands.

"m-m'sorry." you whimpered , "j-just wanted you to listen to me." you whined. "i know baby , i know and im sorry okay , i promise to listen to you whenever you ask." he promised. "now be a good girl and cum on my fingers , so i can fuck your pretty pussy."

he squeezed your nipples once more , your cunt squeezing him ever so tightly , as you came. "there you pretty , good girl."

he removed his hands from your shirt , undoing his strings , pulling his pants down , sitting right under his cock. "lift your leg for me princess." he pulled your short down , holding the back of your knee , keeping it up. "gonna take my cock , like a good girl." he rubbed the head of his cock against your warm folds.

"pl-please fuck me." you whined , he chuckled , you could feel the cocky smirk on his face. "yo-you're an asshole." he pushed his cock into your hole. "am i baby?"

he moved his hips. "your pussy is saying otherwise pretty." he groaned. "she doesn't seem to think so , the way she squeezing my dick." he moved his hips faster , the bed was slowly rocking as he held your leg up , fucking you towards your second orgasm.

"i feel you baby , you're about to cum aren't you , gonna cum all over my cock again?" you mewled out a yes , rocking your hips against his. "w-want you to cum." he ignored your words , moving his hips faster. "go a head , cum for me pretty girl."

you let out a scream , your thighs shaking a you came , he let your leg go , rubbing your waist as you came down fron your intense high. "turn and look at me baby , let me see your pretty fucked out face." he pulled out you , letting you turn.

"so pretty." you smiled , grabbing his cock , stroking it. "wanna make you cum." he groaned as your warm folds wrapped around the tip of his red cock , sinking down on it.

he grabbed your waist stopping you from moving. "pretty girl , i see how tired you are." he ran his fingers through your hair. "let's just to sleep , like this." he said. "okay." he kissed your forehead , your eyes closing.

"when you wake up , you can make it up to me by riding my cock."

©️LUVYENI

[nwaml-writes]

You walk around the HOL singing “I need a big boy, I want a big boy, Gemme a big boy~”

the title says it all. it seems like i can't write more than two boys at a time so I'll just adapt to my flow. Luci and Mams for now

{ Levi & Asmo } | { Simeon & Solomon }

Lucifer

You walk to the living room while singing and plop on the sofa. Or what you thought was the sofa because when you let yourself fall behind, your back collides with a toned torso and large hands find their way around you. “WHa- you weren’t here just now…were you?” He is amused to see your surprised expression and it makes him chuckle. “I don’t understand why you’re so surprised. You just summoned me.” “??? I did not?” You, in fact, did not summon him but it’s shorter to say that than to explain that he was passing by to get to the kitchen, heard you sing and locked eyes with Beel and Mammon who were hanging out in the kitchen, and immediately teleported himself on the sofa before any of them could grant your wish. “I see you don’t realize how powerful you are, Darling.”

Mammon

RUNS to you. You’ve never seen him run so fast. Actually, he even flew to you. He was lying on the sofa scrolling on his phone when you passed by, upon hearing you sing he locked eyes with Levi who happened to lay there too, playing a game. At this point, everything happens in a matter of seconds. They both jump up, by the time Levi is stepping on the coffee table Mammon has already jumped from the nearest sofa from the door. He jumps just as high as that time when he caught the carrot and he looks like he is about to get a kiss from the floor when he skillfully opens his wings and flies up to stand in front of you in a ‘ i’m so cool ‘ pose. He thinks he looks so irresistible in his demon form standing in front of you with a lil smirk on his face (and he is honestly not wrong), knowing he outraced Levi. If he wasn’t so excited about this situation, he might have tried to kabedon you. “so? wad’ya say about this big boy huh?”

[kpop---scenarios]

Whiplash (5)

Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin

Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers

Warning: Some violence, swearing, etc

Word Count: 3.5k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

“I'm sorry.” You whisper. “Who are you?”

The two men look at you in shock. Who were they? Why don't you remember them?

“I'm Felix..this is Hyunjin. We're your.. boyfriend's.” Felix explains to you. You're taken aback, staring at them, confused.

“No.. No, I don't think so. Where's San? We're seeing each other, I need to see San.” You whisper. Your head hurt, your body felt weird. You felt as though you recognized the two men standing in front of you, but you also didn't. You knew San would be able to tell you what happened. He was always honest with you. “Pass me my phone.” You say.

The doctor hands you your phone, and you dial the number you knew well.

“Hello?”

He answered.

“San.” You whimper. “Something is going on.. I'm in the hospital. There's two men here who say they're my boyfriends and I'm just really confused. Can you please come?” You ask.

“I'm on my way.” He says. You can hear him grab his keys before he hangs up the phone. You look up at Felix and Hyunjin, and a knot forms in your stomach. “Can you guys please go? I just need some time.” You whisper. “I have to figure things out, I'm just so confused.”

The two men look heartbroken as they stare at you with sad eyes. They both turn for the door, the doctor holds it open and they leave you all alone.

Twenty minutes later, A sweaty San rushes into your room. He stares at you, the bandage wrapped around your head, The tubes running from your arms and nose, the machines you were hooked up to. He had never felt so guilty in all his life until now, as you laid there and smiled up at him. He hated himself more than anyone else possibly could.

“San..Hi.” You whisper. He walks over to one side of the bed, sitting in the chair next to you. He grabs your hand and starts whimpering.

“I'm sorry Y/N..I'm so fucking sorry.” He cries.

“Why are you sorry? You didn't do this.” You say, squeezing his hand.

And that's when it hit him. You truly didn't remember anything in the last few weeks, months, maybe even years.

And you had no idea that he was the one who pushed you.

“I should have protected you. I failed at that.” He says, sniffling as he looks up at you.

“Do you know what happened?” You ask him. He nods his head. He turns his head, looking at the door before looking back at you. He was internally fighting with himself on how to tell you..or what to tell you. This was his chance to get them back. He needed to distance you from those two, breaking you down and having you hate them is the perfect way to throw them off their game and that's exactly what he wanted.

“It was..Hyunjin and Felix.” He whispers. “They pushed you. You fell and hit your head on a rock.” He tells you.

“What?” You ask, a pang in your heart hits you like a tonne of bricks. “They.. no, that can't be it. They just..i feel like that's not right. They wouldn't do that.”

At least they didn't seem like they would do that to you. Or Would they?

“You can't trust them, Y/N. It was over the stupidest thing too..you called them out for cheating in the race.. they got upset, you got in their face and then they pushed you. You fell back and hit your head.” He sighs.

“But if they were my boyfriends, why would they do that to me?” You whisper.

“Because they don't really love you. They were using you and they were done with you a guess. They decided to try and discard you like trash.” He finishes. Your heart fucking hurts right now.

San’s phone begins to ring loudly, he pulls it from his pocket, answering it quickly, talking quietly enough that you can't hear anything. After he hangs up, he looks at you, pouting. “I have to go.” He says. “But I'll be back to see you.. like I have been the whole time.” He smiles.

As San leaves, a nurse comes in to check your vitals. Something feels off, the way San is acting, it feels sincere but fake. You look at the nurse as she checks you over. “That man.” You begin. “The one that just left..”

“He's handsome! You seem to have some very good looking men in your life.” She chuckles.

“Ha.. yeah.” You reply. “Has he been here the whole time?” You wonder. “Like since I've been in the hospital?”

“Him? Oh no. That's the first time I've seen him. Those other two though. Phew, we practically had to kick them out of the room to eat, shower or do anything. You're a lucky girl.” She smiles.

You give her a half smile as she finishes up, but your mind is racing. You hate that you don’t know what is the truth and what is a lie. Just before she leaves the room, she gives you a few pain pills, and minutes later, you're pain free and in a dead sleep.

The next morning when you wake up, you stretch a little, glancing out the window on your door. You see two familiar faces talking to your doctor. Those two.. how could they?

“Hey!” You yell. They look over at you. “Yeah you two! Come here!”

They walk over to your room, opening the door. “Hi bab..” Felix starts but catches himself.

“Hi Y/N, how are you feeling?” Hyunjin asks. They both look so sad.

“You guys say you love me, right?” You ask. Tears forming in your eyes.

“Yes, of course.” They both answer.

“Then why would you do this to me?” You ask, tears falling already. You couldn't hold it in. “Why would you push me!? Is what he told me true? Were you just using me and this was your way of getting rid of me?” You sob.

“What are you talking about, Y/N!?” Felix asks. They both look worried, their brows furrow as they replay in their head what you had said.

“We didn't do this to you!” Hyunjin says. “It was San! You called him out for cheating!”

“We would never hurt you, Y/N. Ever.” Felix says. Your head is spinning, you feel like you can't breathe. “Get out! How can I believe what you say!?” You scream. “Get out! Go!” You sob.

Both men stare at you for a second, their hearts breaking along with yours. They knew the truth, they told you the truth but why would you believe them? You didn't even remember them.

As Hyunjin and Felix walk out of your room, leaving you behind while you sob. They're walking down the hallway when they see San, heading towards them.

“Son of a bitch.” Hyunjin mutters. Felix walks straight up to him, grabbing San by the collar and slamming him against the wall.

“You fucking lied to her. You told her this was us!? You're such a fucking piece of shit.” Felix yells. San shoves Felix back, walking up to him. “Hope you said your goodbyes, next time you see her she'll be in love with me.” San whispers, laughing as he walks towards your room.

There's a knock at your door and San comes in with a smile on his face, hearing what the doctor is saying. “You're going to be discharged. But you need to take it easy. If you feel dizzy, nauseous, or anything, come back.`` He smiles.

“Yes doctor. Thank you.” you grin. You were feeling better, just weak still.

“Here, I got your clothes from the night of the accident.” he says, handing you a few items. He helps you walk towards the bathroom, letting you get dressed in peace.

Once you're dressed, he grabs your bag, helping you carry it and your shoes, as the two of you leave the room. His hand rests on the flat of your back as he helps you down the hallway, where you see an angry looking Felix and Hyunjin standing, watching the two of you. They watch as you and San pass them, but you don’t notice San turning his head to smirk at them, sending them a wink before the two of you turn the corner. The two of you get in his car and you cannot wait to get back to your own house and be in your bed. You look out the window, and you know this isn't the way to your house.

“Where are you going?” you ask San as he drives down an unfamiliar street.

“You're not staying at your place.” he says, staring at the road.

“I want to go home, please.” you say. “Turn the car around.”

“No, what if something happens? You're not staying there all by yourself.” he says.

“Then I'll call you. Please just take me home.” you say, again.

“No! Fucking listen Y/N!” he snaps, slamming his hand down onto the steering wheel. You turn your head, looking out the window instead of at him. You didn’t want to look at him. For the rest of the ride, neither of you said a word. As you get to his house, you notice a few people passed out on the lawn. It was the afternoon, how were they still out? You get inside the house and it was exactly how you expected it to be. Almost like a frat house, booze everywhere, mismatched furniture. It made you feel sad, like you were missing something, or someone. San led you into a room that had a bed, dresser and a few things scattered around the floor. You walked in, almost gagging at the smell of balls and sweat. He helped you into the bed, as gently as he could. He made you nervous. You worried about saying the wrong thing. He seemed to have a temper and you didn't want to aggravate him.

“Lay down. I'll go get you some water for your pain meds.” he says with a smile. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”

He comes back, water in hand, with two pills. He hands them to you, along with a glass of water. “Drink it all.” He smiles. “You need to stay hydrated. Do you want me to stay here with you?” He asks. You shake your head no, it would only take the pills a few minutes before they made you feel groggy and you'd want to sleep. “I'm going to sleep soon.” You say. “Can I have my phone?” You ask. You had forgotten he had slipped it into his pocket.

“It's in the car. I'll get it and bring it to you.” He says, leaving the room. You lay there and wait. You continue to wait, and wait, and wait. You just wanted to check it, but you couldn't keep your eyes open any longer. You tried to stay awake but you were tired of fighting it now.

San sat on the couch, thankful that you didn't have a pass code on your phone. He read through the messages Felix and Hyunjin had been sending you, telling you not to trust San, and to please be careful. They wanted you to call them if you needed them. San scoffs, yeah right. As if he'd let you see any of those messages. He sat there deleting the incriminating texts, you couldn't be second guessing him, that wouldn't work for his plan.

“Hey man, you wanna game?” Mingi asks, plopping on the couch next to San.

“Yeah, let's do it.” He says, turning on the game, tossing your phone beside him.

“I gotta ask, dude, what the fuck are you doing?” he asks San.

“What’d you mean?” San laughs.

“With the girl? Shes got a fucking head injury, not to mention two boyfriends in a rival gang.” Mingi says.

San laughs loudly. “She won’t have those boyfriends for long. I just need her long enough to ruin those two. Weaken them while I decide what to do with them.”

“And Y/N? What are you gonna do with her once you're done” he asks.

“I don't know yet, I'm kinda liking having her around. Maybe I'll keep her or toss her, I dunno yet.” San laughs.

Mingi chuckles. “Maybe I'll keep her when you don't want her. We could have some fun.” He laughs.

“When I'm done you can have her.” San chuckles.

**

“I can't choose, and I won't choose. I'm falling hard for you both and I want you both. If you're okay with that then I'm all in, but if you're not then it won't work.”

You can see Felix and Hyunjin standing there, looking at you with nothing but love in their eyes. This is familiar, you vaguely remember this night.

“I'm in.” Hyunjin smiles.

“I'm all in.” Felix says.

You remember the pure bliss and happiness you felt in this moment. You remembered sitting at the restaurant with them, terrified they were going to end the friendship with you. You remember the knot you felt in your stomach, the pain you felt in your whole body.

“I'm falling in love with you with Y/N.”

“Falling in love with you Y/N.”

the words keep echoing.

“In love with you Y/N.”

“Love with you Y/N.”

“With you Y/N.”

“You Y/N.”

“Y/N.”

“Y/N.”

You shoot up in bed. Beads of sweat dripping down your forehead. San looks at you with a weird look, like he was so annoyed with you.

“What The fuck were you dreaming about?” He asks. “You were so fucking loud.”

“Sorry.” You whisper, rubbing your eyes. “What time is it?” You ask.

“8pm.” San says. “I brought you some water. Drink it all.” He says. You chug the glass quickly, with your eyes shut, missing the smirk on San's face. He leans on the dresser, watching you. Minutes later, you're asleep again.

“Too fucking easy.” He chuckles.

The next day, you wake up later in the day, still feeling groggy. You didn't know how though, you had slept for over 16 hours. Maybe it was too much sleep? But now you were tired and fucking starving. You shuffled out of the room, and into the living room, seeing San sitting on the couch.

“Ahh you're up. Hungry?” He asks. You eagerly nod your head. He leads you to the kitchen, having you sit at the kitchen table while he pulls out some things to make you a sandwich. Suddenly memories of sitting at an island while someone makes dough in front of you flashes through your head. Who was that? Someone used to cook for you and bake for you but why couldn't you see their face?

San places a sandwich with some chips in front of you, and you eat it. You weren't about to be picky with someone you barely know but acts like the two of you are close.

San has his back to you, while he's at the counter. You can hear him doing something over there before filling up a glass of water and setting it in front of you. “Drink it all.” He smiles, watching you chug a glass of water. You didn't even get to finish your sandwich before you felt exhaustion take over. Your eyes closed with your head on the table. San picked you up over his shoulder and carried you to his room. You tried to keep them open but you couldn't, and you missed seeing the 4 empty pill capsules on the kitchen counter.

**

“Why are you trying to pass the blame, San?”

“I saw you. You started going before the fucking flagged dropped.”

Anger. You remember seeing the pure rage on San's face as you called him out. Of course it wasn't Felix and Hyunjin. of course San was lying.

“Why don't you just shut the fuck up!?” You remember San screaming. The terrifying look he had on his face before shoving you - hard.

You were scared as you fell back, you could feel your head smacking the rock and then nothing.

You shot up in bed, practically hyperventilating. It was dark out now, the clock read 11:34pm.

You remembered. You remembered everything and you needed to get the fuck out of there. You get out of the bed, looking down at your clothes, he had changed you into one of his shirts and it made you feel gross. You can hear the music thumping in the living room, you really fucking hoped they were here. San still had your phone. you walked out into the living room trying to cover yourself the best you could but you needed to get your phone.

“You're up again.” You hear from beside you. San looks annoyed as he grabs your wrist, pulling you towards him. You scanned the room but saw no sign of Hyunjin or Felix. Your heart sank. You knew you told them that you needed space to think but you had hoped they would have showed up if not to just check on you.

“Can I have my phone please?” You ask, San looks surprised.

“Why? Why do you want it?” He asks.

“Because its my fucking phone and you have no right to keep it from me.” You say, your voice getting a little louder.

“You just want it so you can text your little boyfriends. Right? That's it? Why do you want to leave me? Huh? I've been there for you, I was at the hospital for you! Taking care of you! After they hurt you! So why are you trying to go!?” He screams. Everyone has turned to look at the two of you. You're raging. You can't control it. Not since everything came flooding back to you.

“You? Taking care of me? That's fucking laughable San, cause you know what?” You say, getting closer and in his face. Someone cuts out the music. “I remember. I remember everything. Like you cheating, and you shoving me down for calling you out.” You whisper, but your voice now is getting increasingly louder. “I bet you felt like a big fucking man, didn't you? Putting your hands on me. You've got a temper you can't control cause you're an insecure little boy, and you're gonna get yours, believe me. Now give me my fucking phone so I can get the fuck away from you.” You scream.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” San yells. “You've gone fucking delusional. Go back to bed.” He scoffs, lightly shoving you.

“Don't fucking touch me.” You grit. “Where's my phone!?” You scream, pushing him. He looks at you, shocked that you actually put your hands on him. You had barely made him step backwards but he didn't like that you felt like you could do that. He stomps towards you, shoving you back again. You fall to the floor, this time you protect your head.

“Wow again? Didn't you learn from last time?” You snap. San stands there rubbing his face with his hands, running them through his hair as he tries to decide on a course of action. He hadn't anticipated you'd get your memories back so soon.

“Come on babe. Just get up and go back to bed.” San says, his voice trembling as he tries to remain calm. He forgot there were tons of eyes on him that had just witnessed him pushing you, again.

“Babe?” You both hear, followed by chuckling.

“Don't call her that.” Felix snaps, making his way through a few people, Hyunjin behind him as they're now standing by you and San. You could see it in their faces, how mad they were at that moment. You really hoped none of their anger was directed at you.

“You really have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself don't you?” Hyunjin asks.

“He just likes to pick on women, he's a woman beater.” Felix yells.

“I'm fucking not! She wouldn't stop!” San yells.

“So your solution is to push her down, again? You shoved her so hard last time, she had a brain bleed and was in a coma for two weeks.” Felix snaps. “So here's what you're gonna do. You're going to give Hyunjin Y/N’s phone, and we're going to take her back with us, where she belongs and you're not going to contact her, think about her, nothing. Understand?” Felix says. His voice is calm but scary. .

“And if I don't?” San asks, with a laugh.

“I'll make your life even more miserable than it already is.” Felix whispers.

“Fine, take her.” San grunts, tossing your phone to Hyunjin. Felix helps you up, then pulls you into a tight hug as he breathes a sigh of relief. Hyunjin pulls you into him after holding you so tightly. You finally felt safe, relaxed and loved. You started to walk away with the men, but San grabs your wrist. You never wanted to be back here, ever again. San was scary, he wasn't the man you'd previously known. Before you can get away, He pulls you into him. “Don't worry, you'll be back real fucking soon.” He whispers, pushing you back towards the two men.

If you ended up back here again, you were sure you wouldn't make it out alive.

[cowgurrrl]

Literally any Joel and reader dancing to “you’re so good when your bad” by charley pride. I know he slow dances like a mf

You’re right and you should say it

You’re So Good When You’re Bad

Pairing: no outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: OH IM SO HOMESICK

Summary: "He looks like he works with his hands and smells like Marlboro Reds." — Our Lord and Savior Ethel Cain aka this ask [1.8k]

Warnings: June pushing her Texas agenda, Joel gets both his daughters in this one because I said so, flirting, alcohol, i think that's it??

Contrary to popular belief, it's actually pretty easy to love Texas. The longhorns grazing in big green pastures while the sun shines on a clear summer day is enough to capture anyone's heart. An outsider might find the ten-gallon hats and sturdy cowboy boots obnoxious or strange, but you've grown to love them. Maybe because with that acceptance, you've found your own cowboy to love. One part of Texas culture you haven't grasped yet is the dancing. Your boyfriend, Joel, however, loves it.

You met Joel when he and his brother came to do some work at your father's ranch. Honestly, it could've been anything from cutting down a tree to trying to tame a rowdy stallion. You ended up in the garage with him hunched over your car's engine as you worked together to identify where the weird sound was coming from. Joel came in to ask a question about a tree, blueprint, or something when his eyes fell on you. "Oh, 'm sorry, ma'am," he took his hat off in a true form of Southern manners and held out his hand. You met him halfway and introduced yourself before you looked back at your car. "Got a problem?"

"It's just making some noise. We're trying to figure it out, but Dad's eyes aren't as good as they used to be."

"Watch it." Your dad teased, and you and Joel laughed. He stepped a little closer to look under the hood, too. With him that close, you spotted the freckles that dotted his skin and the patches of grey in his beard. When he met your gaze, you felt caught and suddenly way too hot, like a teenager with a crush.

"Mind if I take a look? Might be able to help."

"I thought you were a cowboy, not a mechanic."

"I've done my fair share of both. Thanks to Tommy, we've run through almost every engine problem in the book," he said. "Unless you want to rely on your old man's vision." He was the right amount of teasing and kindness that the sentiment didn't offend your dad. It only made him laugh. He encouraged Joel to take a look and went inside to catch the last half of the UT game, leaving you and Joel in the garage.

You explained more of the problem, handed him tools when he asked for them, and tried to ignore how his biceps flexed when he maneuvered around the machinery. You noticed he was a little bit older than you, but the crow's feet and the salt-and-pepper hair did nothing to deter how your heart pounded when his hand brushed against yours or the way he said, "Thanks, darlin'" when you got him a glass of sweet tea.

"It looks like just a loose part," he said as he leaned away from the open hood and wiped his stained hands on the red bandana hanging out of his pocket. "Go 'head and try it now."

"That's all it took?"

"You don't believe me?" He smirked, and you shook your head.

"I just can't believe it would be that easy."

"What? Your boyfriend couldn't figure it out for ya?"

"Do you really think I'd still come running to my daddy's house if I had a boyfriend?" You raised your eyebrows at him in a silent challenge, knowing you made an opening for him, before walking to your driver's side door and sliding into the seat. Sure enough, when you turned the engine over, the sound disappeared, and everything ran as it should've been. "Alright, maybe I underestimated you." You said as you turned off the car and got out. He gave a faux bow and closed your hood, his big hands lingering on it before he turned to look at you.

Without the hood's shadow in your way, you could fully take in his full lips, messy brown curls, and the oil stain on his cheek. You giggled and pointed to your own face. "You got somethin'," you said, and his hand shot up to the opposite cheek, somehow smearing more on his face. You laughed and grabbed a clean rag from your dad's workbench. "Do you mind?" You asked, raising the cloth halfway to his face, and he blushed.

"Not at all." He said. With a shy smile, you wiped the black marks off his face. A gentle hand on his jaw helped you turn his face this way and that to make sure you got all of it. You remember thinking he was surprisingly pliant at your touch and almost leaned into how your fingers held him. You didn't realize how close the two of you were until your knee bumped against his, but neither of you jumped away.

"There you go," you murmured in a raspy voice, your throat suddenly dry. "Good as new." You lingered there for a few more seconds before you stepped back and threw the dirty towel back when you found it. "So, what do I owe you? For fixing her up?"

"Don't worry 'bout it." He waved you off, and you gave him a look.

"What? No. I can't let you do that."

"It was really nothin'. A loose part, like I said."

"But you still fixed it. I can't let you walk outta here without paying you."

"Tell you what," he said, stepping into your space again. "Let me take you out to dinner, and we'll consider it settled." His eyes twinkled with something mischievous, and you couldn't look away.

"You ask all your client's daughters out?"

"Just the pretty ones." You laughed at how quick he was with it.

"Alright, cowboy. I'll get out with you, but you better make it worth my while."

"Yes, ma'am." He promised. Of course, Joel made good on his promise and treated you to one of the best dates you'd been on in a while. That was six months ago, and somehow, he's still finding ways to give you amazing dates even in between cattle driving and fixing old Mrs. Calahan's rickety porch swing. And, of course, his beautiful teenage daughters, Sarah and Ellie. He hasn't let you down all these months, but you have to admit you were a little skeptical when you first walked into the bar/dance hall. A live band is playing on the stage, and a crowd of people is dancing before them, clad in leather cowboy boots with belts to match. It smells like tobacco, and the warmth from the kitchen makes everything a bit too hot and sticky.

"I don't know about this, Joel." You say when he settles in the seat across from you with two drinks in hand. He gives you a sympathetic look before glancing at the couple's two-stepping around you.

"Look, we don't have to dance. I just thought it'd be good to change things up. We always go to the same places." He reasons.

"Because we like those places." You're a little whiny, but he leans over and kisses your pout away anyway.

"A little adventure never hurt anyone, baby." He's right, but it doesn't make you feel any better. He sighs when he sees how unconvinced you are, but he doesn't give up. "I'll make you a deal. We'll have a drink here, and if you still don't like it, we'll go anywhere you want."

"Okay." You agree, almost certain you'd be able to drain your drink and go somewhere you were more familiar with. But if there's one thing Joel Miller is not, it's a quitter. He distracts you with affection, sweet words, and entertaining stories that he's already up and ordering another round by the time you realize your glass is empty.

Your next two drinks settle your nerves and make the room spin pleasantly around you. Joel, as usual, gets extra clingy when he's had a few and needs to have some point of contact the entire night. His hand roams from yours to your knee to your hair, but you love it. The only time he's willing to let you go is when you get up to go the bathroom, and even then, he pouts until you kiss him and scurry away before he can snatch you back. When you return, Joel is right where you left him with a smirk on his face, and you smile as you step between his knees.

"What're you so giddy about?" You ask. His hands find your waist, and he shakes his head.

"I just like lookin' at ya." He says, and you roll your eyes at him.

"You're drunk." You accuse, but there's no malice in your voice. He shrugs and pulls you closer.

"Now, this one goes out to a friend of ours who requested a very special song for a special lady. Hope y'all enjoy." The guitarist of the country band announces into the microphone. You could be just as drunk as Joel, but you swear he's looking in your direction. There are a few more seconds of silence before they break into the melody, and you immediately recognize the tune. "You're So Good When You're Bad" by Charley Pride was one of the songs you and Joel danced to at Tommy and Maria's wedding. You hadn't heard the song in forever and practically dragged Joel to the dance floor, and it, somehow, became your guys' song.

"Was this your doing?" You ask, and he shrugs as he stands and takes your hand.

"Must've been luck." He says simply and walks you to the dance floor. You're aware of all the eyes on you two and get a little anxious, but when Joel pulls you to his chest, it all fades away. He's sturdy against you. His calloused hand holds yours, and his other hand guides your waist while your fingers rest against the fabric covering his broad shoulder. He chuckles when you step on his toes but doesn't complain. He just redirects your footsteps and quietly sings the words into your temple, his lips brushing your skin in the process. He smells like pine wood and leather, and you find yourself pressing closer to his warmth.

Slowly and like you're the only people in the world, you guys dance in your own little circle, with Joel throwing in an occasional spin or kiss. You remember him telling you stories about getting dragged into quinceañera courts and debutante balls when he was a kid, but you never expected all that dancing to rub off onto Joel. You realized it when you first danced with him at Tommy's wedding but didn't think much of it. Now, as he holds you firmly and helps guide your drunk feet, you see it so clearly. He's a perfect partner, and all you want to do is stay wrapped up in his strong arms like this forever.

So, maybe you could master the art of Texas dancing if Joel's there to help. You think you could do anything with your cowboy and his heart of gold on your side.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[factual-fantasy]

Good day Factual! Hope you're starting to feel a bit better- colds that just refuse to go away are the worst! Glad you've been having some fun playing and drawing Pokemon in the meantime though- and thanks a million for giving us all that great art of Grimace! Him and Sylvester definitely have a wholesome, brotherly bond, and it would be sweet to see some more of them someday, though as always, draw whatever you wish! In the meantime, as a little side Ask- could you tell us how you met them perhaps? Both in game and in "story"? Did you catch them like usual Pokemon, or did they join willingly?

And as for my main Ask- I thought I'd inquire about two of my favorite lesser known Mario enemies, and their places in your AU- starting with the fire spitting, three horned menaces, the Reznors!

Despite them essentially just being chibified triceratops, I've always liked their designs, their pack mentality, and the goofy noises they make! Sadly, Nintendo hasn't used them for much other than a couple gimmicky mini bosses, but I figure if the Bowser of your AU had a few, he'd put them to much better use! Just spitballing here, but you've come up with some cool ideas of how the Koopas use various other creatures- what if they used tamed Reznors as battle mounts, like how humans have used elephants! Imagine the Koopas armoring them up, loading troops on to their backs, and then charging into battle, bullet bills a-blazing! ( Just my idea- what do you think? )

And then the other enemy I wanted to mention, is the rarely remembered, deadly dino from w 1-1 of Super Mario World- the Rex!

They were powerful, speedy critters with a nasty bite- and while Nintendo rarely makes use of them nowadays, many fans still hold them and their lore implications close to their hearts- due to their uncanny resemblance to Yoshis... Because of this, many have theorized they share a common Ancestor- though others fear that perhaps a form of evil magic was involved- which, I think would be a perfect fit for your AU! Since your Kamek has showcased powerful, corruptive magics in the past- what if he created the Rexs, either by mutating captured Yoshis, or enchanting stolen Yoshi eggs before they hatched!? Either way, id imagine they would be just as large and aggressive as your yoshis- and serve the Koopas well as guard dogs, or perhaps as alternative mounts- being weaker, but more nimble and agile than a Reznor. But what's your take? Would either of these guys make the cut? Or not be included at all- ( which would be fine too, I just wanted to ask, and pitch some ideas! )

(Grimace and Sylvester art in question)

Hey there! Unfortunately I'm going downhill a bit, I think my cold is really startin to take me down. Which is just wonderful 🥲 at least I have Pokemon Scarlet to keep my mind busy!

Speaking of Pokemon, Grimace and Sylvester actually do have a story to them..

Starting with Grimace, I actually kinda got him on accident due to a 3 day long brain fart. Let me explain- <XD

So picture this. It's early in the game and I spot a Duskull. I think "Oh cool! Dusknoir is my favorite pokemon! I gotta catch one so he'll eventually evolve into a Dusknoir! :D" So I catch one and name him Dusty.

I ran around with Dusty, training him, loving him, feeding him sandwiches, the works, for 3 days or so. 3. Real life. Days.

It's only when I'm a about to go to bed and I'm thinking about him that I realized..

Dusty is a Gastly. Not a Duskull. He will eventually turn into a Gengar. Not a Dusknoir.

I still can't figure out how I looked at a Gastly and had my brain go "catch one! It'll turn into a Dusknoir! :DD"

So anyways, I didn't really want a Gengar.. but by the time I had noticed my mistake, I had already gotten attached to the big guy. So I accepted defeat, renamed him Grimace and gave up on my dreams of having a Dusknoir. I'll get a Dusknoir in legends Arceus anyways it's fine- <XD

Now Sylvester...

I knew right when I started the game that I wanted a female Sylveon. That was a big goal of mine. And I knew of a place early on in the game where there was a chance for Eevee to spawn. So I ate a sandwich that increased my normal type spawn rate and hunted for a while.

It was quite the drag since Eevees we're still a rare spawn.. but I was able to find some and catch them all. Though there was one peoblem. Every single Eevee I encountered was male! I wanted a female eevee!

It was a few hours into Eevee hunting that I went and Googled the female to male ratio on Eevees. Females have like a 12% spawn rate... Whoops. Looks like I'm not gonna find a female eevee this early on in the game....

But I still wanted a Sylveon.. 🥺

So I did some thinking. I imagined my trainer as a character. I picture them catching a male Eevee and loving him just the way he is. Saying that he doesn't have to evolve for them. Classic Eevee/trailer relationship. And I imagined the Eevee being so happy with this trainer and loving his team so much, that he evolved into a Sylveon. And he's not ashamed at all! His form is the ultimate expression of his love for his friends and his trainer!

I also pictured tweaking Sylvester's body type to make him apear more masculine. Changing the shape of his bows and ears to look sharper. Making his eyes a bit smaller and making his paws pointier.

Point is, the story I built in my head and all the drawing ideas this gave me... Plus my inability to catch a female eevee.. resulted in me adopting one of the male Eevees and evolving him into a Sylveon XD

Anyways XD as for your Mario questions...

I'm actually unfamiliar with those enemies <:0 though having a little more diversity in the Koopa kingdom would be good.. perhaps I could look into the Reznors a bit more and incorporate them somehow.. like you said, making them battle mounts or something similar..

Now the Rex, what an odd critter.. definitely haven't seen that guy before- :00 he really does look a lot like a Yoshi.. I'd have to look into those guys a bit too before I decided what to do with them.. but I'm liking your ideas! Kamek corrupting Yoshi eggs or something similar to make more mindless drones.. that's something he would do! 😅 But I'd probably takes away the Rex wings.. Yoshis can't fly! ☝️

Aaaanywho, thank you as always for the ask and interest! :}} This distraction came at a very good time 🥹💔

[nerd-cat-rambles]

Danganronpa Opinions

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL...

(I mean none of this with offense and I'm not targetting in any way shape or form btw-)

THH:

. Chihiro is VERY overrated.

. Off topic but it's canon Taka can sing, he wants Sayaka to teach him to sing so he can project his voice, and his Japanese VA is amazing at singing, and his English VA is Kinger in TADC (which I don't know much about but heard a song and imagined Taka singing it - which made me laugh -)

. Sayaka is underrated and over hated.

. Some of the executions aren't that good, and Celeste's was good and theatrical, but she (technically) killed 2 people and deserved to suffer a bit more.

. Toko is bad in THH and highly overrated if people like her and haven't seen her in UDG.

. Kiyotaka is annoying and loud even in his FTEs (He's like... my favourite character but I HAVE TO BE HONEST I WOULDN'T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IRL-)

. Byakuya and Kyoko are EXTREMELY OVERRATED!!!! (If Byakuya has no haters I'm dead-)

. The survivors were so uninteresting, Hiro did almost nothing the whole time, and after Chapter 4 Aoi seemed to outlive her usefulness. She's still cool though, but also overrated.

. TRIAL 3 WAS WORSE THAN TRIAL 5 AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND.

. 11037 is still kind of funny, but only in context and not for making fun of Leon as a character.

. Sayaka haters are just mad for no reason... leave her alone gang-

. Junko was a terrible choice for a master-mind, they should've given fake Junko more development before killing her off. I forgot about her after Chapter Two.

. Byakuya x Anybody is a terrible ship, especially Makoto x Byakuya.

. Celesgiri have chemistry, but no interactions that make us ship them.

. LEON, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND THE MANGA EXPLAINS IT IS SELF DEFENSE.

SDR2:

. Nagito is actually kind of annoying... he was better in Chapter One, but he did make the game 10x more interesting.

. Nekomaru > Ibuki

. Peko is a cool character but not as loveable as the fans see her to be.

. Hinanami is ONLY platonic, nothing else.

. SDR2 TRIAL 3 IS NOT AS BAD AS EVERYBODY SAYS

. This may be exclusive to me but Trial 4 was stupidly difficult (I knew who the killer was and didn't get it because I'm a fucking moron.)

. Mikan and Hiyoko are both equally as annoying as eachother, but Hiyoko is much more upfront about it.

. MIKAN HAD A TRASH EXECUTION AND THIS OPINION ISN'T GONNA GET ME SHOT IN THE HEAD!!!

. Souda x Gundham is a bad ship... even the Voice Actor of Tanaka says so.

. Chiaki is slightly overrated.

. AI Junko is mid.

. Kamakura should have gotten more development, and is overrated.(I haven't seen the anime)

V3: (Updated version btw)

. I love V3, it's the best game

. Maki>Kyoko

. They shouldn't have killed Kaede off early, for her development as a character, but it was necessary to do so.

. Rantaro's overrated and him and Ryoma NEEDED MORE DEVELOPMENT.

.Tsumugi best mm real???

. Gonta is overrated.

. The Motive-Video for chapter two is a reused from chapter one THH, did they run out of ideas? If so, how did they recreate Danganronpa 53 times without the audience getting bored?

. Traffic Light (HimokoxAngiexTenko) is a bad ship because though Himiko cares for them both, Tenko doesn't like Angie much. (from what I've seen)

. They should've gotten in some new VAs for V3, I love Shuichi but I can only hear Leon in his voice...

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

in the defence of Ruki Mukami - why Ruki's trauma has just as much influence on his actions as everyone else

i am sitting in the chemistry library at uni right now and am going to spend my time on the most useless task ever to avoid doing anything impactful. please don't take this too serious because i can't write meaningful character analyses.

so i've seen a ton of stuff around, because i know Ruki's not one of the best loved characters in the western fandom. well, of all the characters, i see nearly the most Ruki hate. and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions, whatever. but what DOES bother me is the reason.

a lot of people say that Ruki's trauma doesn't correlate to his actions, or explain abusive behaviour in the same way that the other characters' do. and i would die for Ruki and we know this, but i've thought about it a lot and i have a Theory as for why some people seem to view his character this way. (i have also studied neuroscience at degree level and learnt about trauma and synaptic plasticity)

to summarise for those who perhaps haven't read all the games (my sources for all this is basically Ruki's MB, DF, and LE), Ruki was born as an only-child in Romania to a rich family, and his father was revealed to be a politician during the Ceaușescu period in Romania. they had a lot of servants, all of whom Ruki learnt from a young age to abuse. he admired his father very much and looked up to him, and his mother was good to him and was close to his father. it would seem like a very good, perfect family - although i'll briefly discuss later why this wasn't necessarily the case.

unfortunately, in the DL universe lore, Karlheinz and Ceaușescu were buddy-buddy politicians, and Ruki's father was eventually chased out of his position. during his downfall, Ruki's father became an alcoholic and began abusing Ruki's mother, verbally and physically. Ruki saw a lot of this as well: somebody he looked up to, admired and trusted, becoming an abusive monster in a very short period of time. i think that's part of why Ruki overlooks Karlheinz's crimes and sees him as a good father anyway.

not only that, Ruki's mother - once again somebody who nurtured and cared for him - turned out to be having an affair. and shortly after that, his father committed suicide: something Ruki actually walked out on.

that in itself is a lot more traumatic than i think people consider. a lot of the DL characters have long-term trauma, but intense sudden trauma, such as your "perfect" life falling apart due to an alcoholic, abusive father killing himself and his mother having an affair, has similar psychological impact. remember, these are people who were supposed to care and nurture him, he trusted them a lot, and they both abandoned him abruptly in very extreme ways. that's the number 1 root of Ruki's trust issues. he's been seen to cut Yui off entirely because he's scared of becoming his abusive father.

similarly, living in a "perfect" household as a spoiled only child can be inherently traumatic. i don't know about you guys, but i've met some (only some, not the majority) of very, very emotionally constipated spoiled only-children. a lot of children showered with materialistic affection are missing key emotional maturity developments. their outlook on life is very narrow and they lack the emotional components of attachment; this is part of why Ruki is quite emotionally immature.

not only that, but growing up as an abusive sociopath to "lower" members of society such as servants is a form of abusive on his parents' behalf. they did not teach him proper world awareness. some children are born as psychopaths etc, true, but the majority of "sociopaths" (diagnosed as ASPD) are that way because they were not taught remorse as a child. Ruki would've learnt to treat his servants that way because that was how his parents did (and we see his father being a dick to the servants in LE too i think), and that in itself is inherently traumatic too.

imagine then, with very little capacity for remorse or a concept of societal hierarchy, being thrown into an orphanage. Ruki is a dick to everyone, yes, but the shock of having everything you know challenged suddenly and without explanation or support is going to cause further trauma. i think people just don't like to consider the fact that a lot of "sociopaths" (again, ASPD is the correct label there) were victims too. he went from being the "master" to being "livestock" and that's going to very rapidly alter your young brain chemistry, entering a "master" mindset as a defensive mechanism. that's why he gets angry/upset/confused when it's challenged.

Ruki has a fuck ton of PTSD as well - he's the only character who i've seen literally throw up MULTIPLE TIMES when experiencing flashbacks.

but i think people generally know that, perhaps not thinking about it as deeply. my Theory as to why people don't seem to see this as being as "extreme" as the other boys' trauma goes further than that.

diabolik lovers follows this dynamic between the Sakamaki's vs Mukami's, whereby Yuma, Kou and Azusa (Yuma and Kou more strongly) have this mindset of "the Sakamaki's can't have trauma because they were rich" and obviously as readers, we're supposed to be like "um, no, the Sakamaki's can have trauma too" because they do.

with that said, Kou and Yuma do successfully get to Subaru/Laito and Shu's heads respectively with this narrative. especially Subaru and Shu who get really fixated with this "i was a spoiled, privileged kid" and because of that, naturally we, as readers, lean towards feeling sorry for the Mukami's especially.

obviously, Ruki is the odd one out when it comes to the Mukami's. he had a sheltered upbringing whereas the other brothers were fighting for their lives in poverty/on the streets, victims and witnesses of the civil war and orphan crisis. Yuma particularly pushes this "Ruki had it easy" notion too, and i've definitely noticed that a lot of people who don't particularly like Ruki tend to fall towards that.

this idea of "not enough" trauma has enough to unpack as it is and we won't do that to, but personally i think that all of Ruki's abusive actions are justified. no, they are not an excuse. none of the diaboys' behaviour is excusable, but i think Rejet did quite a good job of giving them enough fucked up backstory to make us as readers at least understand why that might be how they act.

and from what i see, it seems to be Ruki who people think is the exception to this the most, because his trauma isn't in the same vein as the rest of the Mukami's. the "rich people can't have trauma" narrative gets pushed so hard that i think people forget 1) it isn't true and 2) Ruki went through a ton of fucked shit as a kid, and i don't think any of his actions made me feel any differently than the other diaboys' awful behaviour towards Yui.

you can find Ruki boring, not interesting, or just not your type. but he very, very much has "sufficient" trauma to explain his toxic and dominating actions. thank u for coming to my TedTalk.

[someobsessionrequired]

Penguin x Reader x Shachi

Getting together headcanons

You really can't have one without the other!

Having been the newest recruit on the submarine it shockingly didn't take you long to feel at home

Law having been the first of the crew you had met, this had worried you of what other colorful personalities the sub would consist of

To your complete shock this man's crew really contrasted himself

It really took no time at all to settle yourself in, everyone was nice but it seemed with years of trust and bonding you really stood out like a sore thumb

That was until a certain two Mischief Makers started hanging around

A friendship formed fast but it took much longer for a proper relationship to form

Mostly because these two would dance around the topic constantly, flirting was normal but both were way too anxious to push it to anything more than that

They both dead ass had to come up with a game plan on how to ask you out, understanding that explaining to you that they both were interested in you would be a strange conversation to have and could definitely go many ways

The most important thing on both their minds was getting out of this conversation with all three of your friendships intact

But to their shock the conversation could not have gone better

There was definitely an awkward moment in which you had to figure out whether or not they were asking you to choose who you were interested in before realizing what they were actually proposing

Once the words leave your mouth 100% expect to be practically tackled to the ground by both guys

No way they are leaving your side that night, you will inevitably end up in one of their bunks three sets of limbs tangled together

I hope you don't have to wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom because there's no telling where one body starts and the other ends, you are stuck there until both of them wake up

In private they both pepper you with affection constantly, along with that you get to see a more playful affectionate side between the two of them

No one has to say anything about the change in the three of yours relationship, the rest of the crew figure out what had happened pretty damn fast

A lot of things stay the same as before, you still sit together constantly joking and harassing each other

It really is a best friend's and partners type relationship

Writers note!

Ahh love the two of them really feels like a buy one get one free deal 🤝

Requests are open so feel free to hit me with any one piece characters that might be on the top of your mind

[mimisempai]

Reading your love on every card

Summary

While wandering around the bookshop, Muriel comes across a strange tarot deck. Showing it to Crowley, he discovers that he's on every card, without exception. It seems his angel has some explaining to do.

Notes

My way of repairing the fact that the Lover's card has become The duo in the official Good Omens game.

On Ao3

Rating G -  1099 words

"Oh, what's this?"

Aziraphale barely looked up, vaguely wondering what Muriel had discovered during one of their bookshop musings. But his book was really exciting and he didn't want to interrupt his reading.

"I'm going to go see what our little nosy bee has discovered."

Crowley rose from the sofa, gave Aziraphale a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and walked over to where Muriel was standing.

Aziraphale hummed and resumed his reading.

Until he was interrupted by Crowley's exclamations, "But it's me, isn't it? It is me, isn't it? On these cards!"

Muriel replied, "I don't think there are many demons with that eye and hair color."

Crowley continued, "Wait, The Moon! That's my face on the inside of the moon!"

Muriel replied, "Oh, and there, The Emperor, even without the hair and eye color, that smug look is totally you!"

"You cheeky little thing!!!"

Muriel giggled as Crowley continued, "Wahoo, even the Empress is me!"

"Absolutely gorgeous I must say."

Crowley chuckled softly and replied, "Thank you, I forgive your earlier impertinence, little bee."

Aziraphale suddenly felt like leaving, knowing exactly what Muriel had found.

An ancient Tarot deck, and not just any old one.

One he'd crafted years, if not decades, ago.

They were both right, for on every card, without exception, was Crowley, whether clearly visible or in metaphorical form.

Muriel chuckled again before saying, "Oh... The World would almost make me blush. It doesn't hide much of your anatomy."

Crowley grumbled, "Give me the cards! Now!"

Aziraphale sank further into his chair as Crowley called to him, "Angel, a word, please?"

"I think it's time for me to go have a nice hot chocolate at Nina's... I've got so much to tell her."

Aziraphale, his cheeks now burning, hid his head in his hands as Crowley shouted, "You little..."

Only Muriel's laughter answered him, followed by rapid footsteps and the sound of the bookshop door opening and closing.

What he hadn't heard were Crowley's footsteps as he approached, so he flinched slightly as the demon's hands settled on his wrists. 

"Angel, don't hide from me, please." 

He tugged gently on the angel's wrists, pulling his hands away from his face and leaving him with no choice but to look at Crowley, who had crouched in front of him.

But instead of the annoyance he'd expected to read on the demon's face, Aziraphale was surprised to see a mixture of wonder and amusement.

Crowley asked softly, "When?"

The angel couldn't help but blush as he replied, "1941, after Will Goldstone's death, many things from his magic shop were sold or given away, and among them was an old fortune-telling tarot deck."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and said softly, "I know when, now I'd really like to know why."

Aziraphale shook his head before lowering it, but Crowley would have none of it and grabbed the angel's chin, forcing him to look at him before continuing just as gently, "Come on, Angel, it can't be anything bad."

Aziraphale replied, "Bad, no, but ridiculous, yes, absolutely. After we met in 1941, I missed you so much that I saw you everywhere. In everything I did, all the music, all the paintings, all the sculptures reminded me of you. So of course I saw you even in an old tarot deck when I looked at 

The Moon, The World, The Emperor, The Empress, The Star, The Universe - Crowley?"

This time it was Crowley who had hidden his face in the angel's lap.

"Angel, you can't confess something like that to me without warning."

Aziraphale put his hands in Crowley's hair and leaned over him, saying amusedly, "You're the one who wanted to know."

Crowley mumbled something Aziraphale didn't understand, so he took the demon's face between his hands and, raising his head, asked, "Again, my dear, I didn't understand."

Crowley repeated audibly this time, "Did you miss me that much?"

Aziraphale bluntly replied, "As much as you can miss someone when you've just discovered how much you love them.

Crowley just murmured, "Oh, Angel..."

He straightened up a bit to bring his face closer to the angel's and whispered, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion, "Every time I think I can't love you more, but every time you do or say something like this, it proves me wrong."

He pushed the angel into the back of the armchair, then straddled his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck before capturing Aziraphale's lips in a deep, lingering kiss.

A little later, it wasn't shortness of breath that forced them apart, but Muriel, whom they hadn't heard return, exclaiming, "Nina was right!"

Since the angel had surely seen them kiss, Crowley did not bother to get up from Aziraphale's lap and turned to Muriel, who had one of the cards in their hand, and asked, "And what did our dear barista queen of Whickber Street gossip say?"

Muriel, with a flash of cheek in their eyes, replied with a smile, "That since Aziraphale was head over heels for you, it was clear he'd drawn you both for the Lovers card."

They flipped the card over to the angel and the demon, and Crowley could see that there was no doubt that Nina was right; it was indeed him and Aziraphale on the card. He felt the angel press his face against his back and chuckled softly as Muriel continued, "She promised me a second free hot chocolate if I could check it out. So thank you!"

Muriel put the cards down and left as they had come.

Aziraphale muttered to Crowley's back, "We're going to be the subject of street gossip again."

Crowley turned to him and replied fondly, "Well, it's no secret that we love each other, the only thing they're going to know is that you love me so much that you designed a tarot deck entirely after me."

Aziraphale pouted and retorted, "You're not helping, here."

Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel's neck again and said softly, "I don't care what other people think. Angel, you've created the only fortune-telling tarot deck where love can be read on every card."

This time it was the demon who left the angel speechless. 

For he was right.

It was love that had driven Aziraphale to create this deck. 

From then on, he had nothing to be ashamed of, and everything to be proud of.

Proud to love Crowley.

This time it was he who captured his demon's lips to show him, even better than with cards, how much he loved him and how proud he was of it.

Made by the amazing @rins-love-wins

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2) 

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[vixymix101]

Why Bluey x Jean-Luc Works

So! Sense I've been in a Blueluc mood as of late, I'd like to make an extensive post on why I love this pairing, and why it works so well!

(Please note this is my personal opinion, and isn't meant to attack or shame other shippers who don't ship this pairing!)

Now! Let's begin!

First off, where did this pairing even begin?

Blueluc started after Jean-luc's first debut in the episode, Camping. His first and only major role in the show-- but this single episode was enough to spark one of the most popular ships in the Bluey fandom!

The first thing we learn about Jean-luc is that he speaks French and cannot understand English, but despite this language barrier, it doesn't deter these two from playing together and instantly hitting it off! They immediately start to connect without even understanding a word of what the other is saying.

It's just the fact that they connect and bond so fast and become such close buddies in such a short time span, if they get along that well in just a few days, who knows how much further their relationship could go and grow if they were able to spend more time with eachother.

A thing to take notice is we see the two build a little make-shift hut, and to me, feels like a metaphor of building a home together. Now it could be reachy but it's definitely something to take note of! They made something special together, something only for them.

But that isn't the only thing I'd like to point out--

Second case in point-- the touches--

These two are already so comfortable holding hands and making physical contact even after, what? A day or two? For most people it can take a few weeks, even months or years to be this comfortable with physical contact like this-- now yes, they are kids and kids usually don't really care but even so, it's still a big leap even for people their age--

Plus, it's just so adorable-- look at them!! Little bbys!! Holding hands!!

Another thing I'd love to point out is the tree and how it's a metaphor of their growing relationship.

While I could be reaching with the building-a-home metaphor, this one is undeniable meant to be a visual representation of their relationship with eachother, as it holds such a large role in the episode, but I'll go more into detail later after it's done growing!

For now, let's take a moment to point out why they get along so well, and how it'd work for any romantic relationship that may form for their future.

As we all know, Bluey is a bit bossy when she plays games with other kids-- that trait likely stems from the fact that she's a Heeler, a herding dog, which could explain why she feels the need to take charge.

And not to throw shade, but her personality type just doesn't mesh well with someone like Mackenzies-- they're both hard headed, stubborn and feel the need to take charge when they can. That headstrong attitude just wouldn't work well for a serious relationship.

But it does work for someone like Jean-luc, who was more than happy to follow along with her games, simply just wanting to play and have fun, not even being told what to do-- just saw that Bluey was collecting sticks and went to help her and play with her.

I'm not saying that he's a "follower" by any means, but I am saying is that he's willing to accommodate with her, a true gentleman I must say! Just a wittle sweetie!

(Plus again, they got so close so quickly and easily--)

And that's not to say Bluey doesn't do the same in return! Again, she can get pretty bossy when she plays, so I think it's worth pointing out how well she handled the minor miscommunications she has with Jean-luc is a pretty big thing for her-- instead of getting upset at Jean-luc or stop playing with them because they can't understand eachother, she instead shrugs it off, and comes up with a way where they can both understand eachother via the drawing on the rock!

She was willing to think of a different way to communicate and get over their misunderstanding so Jean-luc could get it. Most people don't do that, especially for someone they've only known for around a week--

Now, let's talk about THIS scene, now this? This just simply broke my heart on first watch, and even harder on rewatches--

It truly amazes me how they fit so much genuinely good chemistry between two characters in the span of a single episode that most shows can't even do in the span of 2 seasons--

The writers truly out did themselves, there's a good reason so many people cry at this scene and after--

Speaking of after! The time skip!

Now ik many debate if this scene is even canon but there isn't any indicator it isn't a flash forward, so I'd say it very much happened.

Now remember that tree I was talking about earlier? Here's where we pick up where that left off--

It shows that their relationship stayed strong even when they were apart, the tree fully grown and in bloom, symbolizing how their relationship only grew with time, even as they got older.

It's one of my favorite aspects about the episode, and my favorite piece of symbolism for these two.

I could go on and on about them and why their relationship just simply works, but I think just simply watching the episode will do all the talking for me-- that and the fact this is the most popular ship in the fandom lol--

But I think I've made all my points clear! If you'd like to discuss further, go for it!

Thank you for reading!