#They try to find where she was made to find the “real ellie”

[bet-on-me-13]

Ellie is a Clone Misunderstanding

So, I' sure most of us have seen a story/prompt or two about Ellie being on the Teen Titans or Young Justice right? Here's my question, does she tell them about her being a Clone, or does she just omit that from her resume?

Imagine a scenario where Ellie is on a mission with her team (Let's say YJ for this). They are nearly done, when she gets hit by some type of Ecto-Weapon in the middle of the fight?

She is hurt, but shrugs it off and continues the battle. In the end, the team manages to come out on Top, and they return to Base.

The others are fretting over Ellie, asking how she is doing and if she needs ant help. She's never once been hit while in Battle, her Phasing Powers are stronger than even Miss Martian, so they are understandably concerned for her health.

She tells them that she's fine, and goes off to her room to rest, telling them to drop it.

Later that night, one of her teammates goes to her room to fetch her for Dinner. They knock on the door, but she doesn't respond. After a while, they decide to just open the door and find Ellie collapsed on the floor. She never made it to her bed.

They rush her to the Medical Station, and call in the League.

While there, they try to figure out what happened, but nothing comes up with the Weapon that hit her. (They took it after the battle for study)

Eventually, they get the results back from the Doctors. Her cells are dying at an alarming rate. Her energy levels are Unstable. Her DNA is deteriorating. She's Destabilizing.

She's a Clone.

All the evidence is there. Her DNA is deteriorating because she wasn't made complete, and her Cells can't keep up with the damage anymore because of that.

If this Ellie is a Clone, what happened to the Real Ellie? When was she kidnapped? How did they not notice their friend being replaced by a Clone?!

They need answers, and unfortunately Ellie isn't waking up any time soon.

[greenglowinspooks]

The way that I’m brainrotting over a DCxDP crossover with a Danny who’s a vengeful villain rn

Like, let’s just say that the GiW finally get into contact with the JL. They need help neutralizing a threat, you see, and they’re on their last limb trying to keep civilians safe.

They have video evidence! They have studies to back their claims! The JL have to help them!

Unfortunately, the JL believe them. They join a fight against Danny, and defeat him due to being far more experienced than he is. Danny is locked away and experimented on by the GiW.

That would CHANGE a person. Your heroes turning against you and seeing you as a monster, being experimented on for who knows how long, not knowing if your friends and family are safe.

Danny gets out due to a simple mistake on the GiW’s part; having Blüdhaven as part of their transport route.

Of course the trucks were attacked, they’re government property!

So now, whoever decided to raid the government transport trucks (the Penguin or something) has a ton of experimental weapons with no idea how they work, and a heavily traumatized teenager.

Danny knows how they work. Danny can be useful! They won’t throw him out if he’s useful! And so, now Danny is working for the Penguin, altering the ectoplasm weapons to make them work on humans.

It’s a good deal for both parties. Danny gets to neurotically imprint on the Penguin like a small baby animal, and the Penguin gets a brilliant mind who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.

But eventually, Danny finds out what happened to his family in his absence.

Jazz is in Arkham. Not as a psychologist, but as a “patient.” Apparently, she snapped and completely destroyed the house, leveled a few blocks of Amity Park, and conducted organized attacks on government bases (mostly GiW) for months.

Sam and Tucker helped her, eventually splitting once Jazz was captured. Sam travels to areas of extreme pollution, completely overgrowing them with her plant powers. Currently she’s in the Amazon rainforest, engaging in an ongoing feud with logging companies. Sam is winning.

Tucker faked his death, and Danny has no idea where he is. He only knows that the death wasn’t real because of a code that the three of them made together, just in case.

Ellie’s trapped in the Infinite Realms. Danny had a failsafe in place so that if she was ever cornered by the GiW, she would be sent to her haunt in the GZ. However, with the portal destroyed, she can’t come back. Danny just hopes she’s okay.

His parents are now top GiW scientists. They’re traveling the country giving speeches. They’re working on a battery powered by ectoplasm, but apparently started “having difficulties” around the same time that Danny escaped.

None of it is fair. None of it is right.

The Justice League destroyed his life, the lives of his friends, and they’re doing as good as ever. The GiW is respected, and his parents are happily working away for them.

Danny takes up some of his more experimental weapons and breaks Jazz out of Arkham. She’s a little different now, colder and more quiet, but she still loves him all the same. It’s an unimaginable comfort to him to see his sister again.

He can’t use his powers anymore. He’s so used to associating them with pain that even transforming into his ghost form is enough to take him down for hours.

However, he understands ectoplasm more than anyone else in the world. He knows how to use it in virtually everything; how it can become a weapon, how it can be used as a supplemental ingredient in poisons and nerve agents, how it can twist and distort the mind if applied correctly.

He doesn’t care what happens to him. He’s going to take down the GiW, and destroy the lives of the JL members who helped lock him away, just as they did to him.

No matter the cost.

[finalgirllx]

guitar teacher!ellie x smartass!reader thank you for all the meet-cute requests @thatdammchickennugget -- they are my absolute favorite and this one is a classic. i plopped a lot of my real life into this lmao. i kinda wanna do a spicy part 2 here. idk. we'll see!

you wait with bated breath inside the cramped, soundproof lesson room at your local music store, where you signed up on a whim to learn the guitar. it’s an impulse decision, really—all but doomed to be just another tick off the ever-expanding list of random cool skills you’ve tried. at the very least, you hope maybe you can whip this one out to “impress the ladies.” maybe even serenade them with some songs and actually sound good doing it—lord knows many have endured the clunky chords of a red hot chili peppers song from some mediocre man already.

you clutch your new guitar semi-awkwardly, plucking the strings and lightly tapping the cool basswood. you can tell that the tune is off, but damn if you know how to fix it. you wonder if you’ll abandon it after the first 40 minutes, just like most other hobbies you’ve sampled.

in your hasty decision-making, you hadn’t even requested a specific teacher. you’d only ever seen middle-aged men employed here, which is fine. you trust their experience, picturing some warm-hearted old rocker coming in and showing off his tried-and-true tricks. what you don’t expect, then, is when the door opens and a girl your age enters the room, extending her hand to shake yours.

“hi, my name is ellie. you’re the one here to learn guitar, right?”

you shake her hand, eyes glancing over her form, trying not to seem like a dumbfounded creep. jeez, she’s cute. she has reddish-brown hair in a choppy bob, freckled cheeks, green eyes, and a dorky smile. she’s adorned in a faded blue jacket rolled up to her elbows, revealing arm tattoos, and a ragged t-shirt with a band you’ve never heard of. and this is the cutie who will watch you fiddle with out-of-tune strings and act like a complete dumbass? you half hope the ground will swallow you whole.

“yeah,” you manage to reply once you remember how to speak. “that’s me. word of warning: i really don’t know what i’m doing, so i’m, like, a total beginner.”

ellie chuckles reassuringly, likely having heard that tired statement a million times over. she gently picks the guitar up from your lap, inspecting its quality. of course, in her hands, the instrument looks like it was made to be held by her. “hey, that’s fine. everyone starts somewhere, right?” she gets to tuning the strings as naturally as breathing.

“so, what’s got you interested in learning?” ellie suddenly asks, just to fill the dense silence of the room. your mouth runs dry, struggling with a response that doesn’t sound as idiotic as “i’m an obnoxious flirt.” she catches onto your fumbling, adding, “what? wanting to look like a badass guitar god, hm?”

“calling yourself a badass, then?” the tongue-in-cheek question escapes before you can rein it in. ellie pauses her tuning to look up at you, and your heart drops to your stomach. she’s going to kick you out, you reckon.

“i mean… you are staring at me with your mouth open. must be in awe of my guitarist badassery or something. i don’t mind,” ellie replies with a knowing, smug smile, then returns to helping your sorry ass tune up your guitar.

yep, you definitely need that hole in the ground right now.

after that rocky introduction, the lesson takes on a more professional atmosphere, with ellie explaining the basics. she teaches you about the body of the instrument, the strings, and some basic history—you name it, and she knows it. it’s clear that ellie is enthusiastic about the guitar, her interest rubbing off on you, which does not help your case with how cute you already find her.

you try your best to be a good student, which isn’t the energy you typically bring to all your other short-lived courses. there is something special about ellie’s passion—how her lips move as she speaks about it, how her eyes light up, her fingers curling against the strings while demonstrating songs—it compels your attention. you listen respectfully to the multitude of rambles she embarks on and cuts short whenever ellie realizes she has led you too astray from the basics.

at approximately the 38th minute of the 40-minute lesson, you realize that you haven’t attempted to actually play the damn thing. ellie must have come to the same realization, flashing a tilted smile, hoping you aren’t too annoyed that this instructional course devolved into a ted talk, a worry she couldn’t possibly be more wrong about.

ellie assists your clumsy self in positioning the guitar onto your lap, showing you how to hold it correctly. the closeness has your heart racing, and every touch sends shivers through you—you hope the internal gay panic doesn’t translate outwardly. ellie takes her time helping you press your fingers onto the correct strings and frets to play a simple “c chord.” her fingers guiding yours with such precision causes your thoughts to veer into thousands of inappropriate possibilities. the pose feels a tad contorted, your fingers placed in a way totally foreign to you, but her reassurance builds your confidence to try. she crouches before you, making final adjustments before her greens glance back up to you expectantly, waiting for you to try.

you strum the one chord—a passable sound that resonates throughout the guitar. it gets the job done but, of course, lacks the flow that ellie could have had. but ellie is proud, her genuine smile and silly applause flustering you.

you find yourself feeling more accomplished in this single instance than in the last three skills you’ve tried combined.

“good start, guitar god. i’ll show you another one—if you think you’ll stick to a second lesson,” ellie then suggests, an endearing smile on her face as she watches you absent-mindedly fiddle with the individual strings a bit more. an effective bargaining tactic for sure.

“yep, no problem.” easiest commitment you’ve ever made.

"hell yeah," ellie rejoices, reaching out one last time to high-five you. she looks delighted. just happy to have a new, consistent student, of course--that has to be it.

you sign up for another lesson after—and maybe another. and another.

[eufezco]

you meet joel again after the outbreak and he finds out you have a daughter

seeing joel again after the outbreak was something you thought would never happen, but there he was, twenty years later, with almost completely gray hair and beard, and looking more tired than he used to. his brown eyes shone when he saw you, thinking that you were some sort of hallucination produced by tiredness, but your arms hugging his neck felt so tight and your head against his chest felt too real to be a creation of his mind.

he gulped nervously and took a few steps backward when you took the little girl in your arms as if he was scared of the little human. you had always been very good with children so he wasn't surprised that you were now taking care of them in jackson. because that's what it was, wasn't it? you were looking after someone's child, right?

"this- this is my daughter, joel." oh shit. your face expressed concern, waiting for a reaction from the man in front of you, but his eyes were locked on the child in your arms. he should have guessed. enough time passed, you were a grown woman and life was good in jackson, probably the best place on earth right now to start a family. he softly nodded his head, trying not to show how shocked he was. the baby was sucking on her finger, cooing and doing that stupid baby sounds like she was mocking him. "congrats" was all he could say.

he was waiting for you to introduce him to the father of your daughter, but you never did, it was as if you were torturing him slowly. maria wanted to put joel and ellie in the house across the street from hers and tommy's, but you offered them to stay with you.

"oh, that place has been untouched since the outbreak, i actually think only the heat works." you cut tommy off when he was saying that it was decent. joel was gonna decline your offer but ellie, who had been tickling your daughter's belly and playing with her tiny hands until that moment, was quicker than him on saying that they'd love to.

he hated to see that baby. joel hated her chubby cheeks and her small hands trying to reach for him every time he was near. he also hated tripping over her toys around the house and how she cutely laughed when ellie played with her. he hated seeing her wrapped in a towel like a burrito after her bath and he hated to see her cheeks and nose red from the cold weather, and how she stomped when she was wearing her big coat and fell on her ass in the snow.

"so, where's the dad?" ellie asked you with her mouth full of food. joel gave her a look that would have killed her and huffed. there was truly no way this kid was shutting the fuck up. "you don't have to -" "no, it's fine." you assured joel while making sure that your daughter was liking her food. you threw a glance at joel to see his reaction and he was looking at you with his face more relaxed than usual. his brow was not furrowed and his eyebrows were arched, trying not to show how interested he was in your answer but at the same time very annoyed because of ellie being so nosy. "he left." "shit- i'm sorry." you shook your head. "it was before she was born. it's better this way, you know? if he was gonna be a shitty dad, i prefer him not to be around." "hell yeah. fuck him." ellie said while nodding her head in agreement with what you were saying. joel threw another deadly glance at ellie after she cursed in front of you and your kid. " i bet you are the coolest mom, right joel?" ellie's words made you giggle but you were also waiting for joel's answer. it was easy for him to empathize with you since you were going through the same thing he went through with sarah. he found it very easy to be a single parent. sarah was the best kid and he had you and tommy to help him. but you were alone, you lived alone, you had to go to work, and you had to take care of your daughter. he clenched his jaw. "that's right."

when you showed them your house, ellie loved it. she lay down on your couch, she opened your fridge, she sat in front of the fireplace, she turned the lights on and off multiple times, checking that they were indeed working. joel told her to stop but you assured him that it was okay, you liked seeing the girl so excited over such small things.

joel on the other hand was static next to you while ellie played around. your daughter was looking at him with her head resting on your shoulder, and joel looked at her from time to time only to find that the baby was still staring at him.

you showed them the rest of the house. ellie had her own room, which was meant to be your daughter's future room but she could have it, and you would share your room with joel. but after seeing his face, you thought it might have been a better idea to offer him the guest room.

"we also have a guest room. there's no bed but there's a couch and the heat doesn't work there but if you want-" "oh no, old joel will be great here." ellie appeared behind him, giving a few pats on his shoulder. you smiled at the girl but waited for an answer from joel. he was trying so hard to ignore the crib next to your side of the bed and how the little girl was sitting in the middle of the mattress, playing with her stupid little toys and violently sucking on her pacifier. instead of that, he decided to remember all those nights sleeping with ellie either in the woods or in the car, and the way he could hardly move when he woke up the next day because his body ached so much. but joel also remembered how good it felt being your little spoon and waking up next to you. of course, he didn't expect things to be like they used to be, but probably sleeping next to you was the only thing he had left of what once was his home. "this is okay." "great! and it's not as if we haven't slept together before, so..." you added trying to downplay the issue. "woow." ellie was so interested in this. "how is that?" "no-" "we were neighbors, and sometimes we-" "enough."

you knew why joel was so distant with your daughter. meanwhile, ellie loved to be around her, joel tried as hard as he could to keep his distance. you lived next to them and in the afternoons you helped sarah with her homework. you stayed with them for dinner and then enjoyed a movie or played some board games with them. the night the outbreak started, joel knocked on your door and told you to go inside his truck immediately. you were familiar with the relationship joel had with his daughter and you knew what a shock it had been to lose her. that's why you didn't blame him for his behavior.

"is she okay?" joel asked you half asleep and you hummed in response. "she's just hungry. i'm sorry. you can go back to sleep." you sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the sleep of your eyes and picking her up in your arms. you mumbled something to her and kissed her forehead while you started to softly rock her in your arms. "no. how can i- how can i help?" joel sat on the bed and waited, noticing how she calmed down after you took her in your arms. the light coming from the street illuminated your silhouette and allowed Joel to appreciate your daughter's wet face. "hm- i need her bottle. it's ready in the kitchen. if you could heat it in the microwave for like a minute, that would be great." while he waited, he couldn't help but think of baby sarah in his arms. her cheeks were wet and her eyes were wide open, joel had to leave early in the morning for work but he didn't mind staying with her up all night if it was necessary. joel was trying to distract her until her bottle was ready, letting her small fingers wrap around his big one. joel had to take a few seconds before going back to the room with you, his hand pressed against his chest trying to control his breathing. once he came back with the baby's bottle, he sat by your side, handing it over to you and nodding after you thanked him. he watched as she enjoyed her meal and as you softly rocked her in your arms. your head fell on joel's shoulder and he didn't know what to do so he just stayed with you like that until you finished feeding her.

"i'm late. i'll see you at lunchtime." you couldn't be late another time, maria will literally kill you. you placed your daughter in joel's arms before you could remember how hesitant he had been with her and he had no other choice but to hold her so she wouldn't fall.

"are you okay? do you want me to take her?" ellie asked after seeing joel's shocked face. he held the little girl with outstretched arms, keeping her away from him. the baby cooed and extended her arms wanting to reach joel. she opened and closed her fist, getting really impatient and starting to make sounds of discomfort. the man frowned and had no other choice but to hold her against his chest. "shit... well done, joel. look, she even seems to like you." ellie added when the girl hid her face in joel's neck.

a few days after that he seemed to be closer to your daughter, you even caught him playing with her rattle, your daughter lying in her crib and with her arms up in the air trying to reach the toy. he was serious, not allowing himself to show how he really felt. your baby laughed with him and you decided to leave the room carefully to not interrupt the moment.

he started with small things like letting her hold his thumb between her fist every time he noticed she was staring into his soul again, and always keeping an eye on her when ellie was helping her to walk in the snow in case she fell or got tired of trying. then joel started feeding her, cutting the fruit into very small pieces, making sure that the milk wasn't too hot or too cold. at first, just sitting by your side but she was too distracted by his presence to eat so he had to start feeding her eventually.

you sighed in exhaustion once you entered your house. "i'm so tired." you sighed again and rested your head on joel's shoulder. your baby was half asleep on joel's arm, visibly comfortable by the way she cooed every now and then and by the way she rubbed her face against his arm. joel was rocking her softly. using one finger you tickled her belly to let her know that you were home. he put her in her pajamas, fed her dinner and you would even say that he had bathed her by the way her little curls were still damp. "she likes you." you said. he brought the pacifier to her mouth and with closed eyes, she quickly caught it with her lips. "she likes you more than me." "that's not true." joel spoke with a low voice, being careful not to be too rough and wake the child up. he turned his head to look at you, his eyes finally leaving your daughter to pay attention to you. you also looked at him with your head still resting on his shoulder. "you like her more than me." you pouted, trying to stay focused on his deep brown eyes and not on his lips and how close his mouth was to your face. "also not true." you smirked and moved one of your hands to play with your daughter's. she squeezed your index finger tightly between her tiny fist while joel kept looking at you. all that you had now should have been with him. your daughter, your house, your life. before the outbreak happened, one night drinking a few glasses of wine at his house after sarah went to sleep, you told him what you hoped your life would be like. you wanted to find your person and maybe even get married, you wanted to travel, moved in with them, start a family, raise your children, have movie nights. not much different from what you had with him at that time. you were almost there, touching your dreamed life with your fingertips, if you only had more time... when joel realized, your eyes were on him again and you had his chin between your thumb and index finger. your thumb brushed his lower lip, testing the waters, and his eyes slowly closed. you understood that as a green light to continue so, you leaned towards him and pressed your lips against his. just like that, no need to move them or rush things. you just missed feeling his lips against yours as much as he did. the kiss lasted ten seconds at most, but it was enough time for your breaths to mix and for joel's body to truly relax after months. you showed a little smile to him after the kiss and the soft look on his face let you know that he was satisfied. you went in for another kiss and he had his eyes closed already but then all of a sudden, your daughter on joel's arm started crying. "oh, i think someone's jealous."

[ohcaptains]

what if this is real?

pairing. ellie williams x female! reader

an. i'm gonna pretend that this isn't my first fic in six months and just move on...anyway. um. hi? i hope you enjoy -- not my usual filth. love u.

synopsis. it's the end of the world, but there's still parties to attend. or, the first kiss in yours and ellie's situationship.

warnings. kissing -- suggestive language and swearing. probably the most tame i've written in a hot min!

You’re standing in front of Ellie’s door, thinking, fuck this.

It would be easy to turn around and pretend that you’ve forgotten all about the party. You could pretend that you’d slept through the whole thing. Ignore the – eventual – banging on your door, and the husk of Ellie’s voice penetrating the wood, asking, Babe, you sleeping?

Your cold fingers reach down and tug at your rising skirt, and you think -- for the third time this night -- that you shouldn’t have worn this God damned outfit.

The alcohol you’d downed before trudging over here quiets that voice a little, but you’re always nervous around Ellie.

If you told her that, she’d scoff and laugh you off. It was true, though. She made you go all doe-eyed and dumb.

The thought of her complimenting you made you wear this silly outfit, and It was winter, for fucks sake.

You knock on her door, déjà vu washing over you. How many times have you stood, nervous, at Ellie’s door? You chew on your bottom lip, playing with the hem of your skirt still.

“Coming!” Ellie’s familiar cadence immediately hollers.

She fumbles around with something, and when she opens the door, she’s tugging a simple tank top over her muscular belly.

You briefly glance at her middle, eyes finding the faint lines of her abs.  

“Well don’t you look nice,” she teases.

When you eventually drag your eyes to her eyes, she’s giving you a once-over, a teasing beam on her pretty, freckled face.

As if to get a better look at your outfit, she pushes her loose auburn hair behind her ears.

Music floods through the open door – some shitty indie band she had a thing for – but all you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears from her previous compliment.

It wasn’t all that great– she’d said you had looked nice – but that, plus the interest in her green eyes as she examines you, has your belly swirling.

Ellie steps back to get a better look. She licks the corner of her mouth and nods to you. “Twirl for me.”

Your eyes automatically roll, but you listen anyway -- hands out at your waist, you do a little slow twirl. Ellie whistles low.

When you face her again, she’s leaning against the door frame, muscular arms crossed over her chest and grinning cockily. “Oh yeah, putting on a show for me.” “Shut up – are you coming?” you ask, ignoring the heat that finds you and jabbing a thumb behind you.

Ellie drags her eyes away from the cut of your skirt, glancing into the distance. She nods as if she’s just remembered. As she nods, small bits of hair flutter onto her broad shoulders.

Her white tank is damp, too, with small patches of water staining the fabric.  

“Oh yeah, I just got distracted. My hair was touching my shoulders weird, so I’m trying to cut it but I think I’ve fucked up the back.”

Trust Ellie to get that distracted and take up such a monumental task before a party. You motion for her to turn.

“Twirl for me.”

Begrudgingly, she does, managing to roll her eyes.

“Oh my god,” you suddenly gasp, hands flying to your mouth, “what have you done?”

Ellie spins, grabbing the back of her head in a panic.

“What?” she asks, green eyes wide. Just as quick as you put the act on, you drop it with a shrug. “It’s fine, just slightly uneven.”  

“You’re an asshole, get in here.”

She grabs your hand and yanks you in, closing the door behind you. The speed makes you dizzy, so you grab a hold of her shoulders, trying to steady yourself.

“Whoa – gimmie a minute,” you whisper, trying to blink the world back into the frame.

Ellie immediately bends to look at you, confused.

There’s a beat where she’s concerned, and she gives you another once over, trying to see if there’s anything physically wrong. “The fuck is wrong with you?” she asks, nervous laughter bubbling out of her lips. “I’m –” you start to admit, blinking the fuzz away. Ellie watches you put your forefinger and thumb together, squinting, explaining that you’re, “– slightly drunk,” and she frowns, her face hard, waiting for you to explain further. “I’m wearing a skirt,” you simply state, and her frown deepens, mouth quirking to the side. She glances down, eyeing the short fabric.

“I noticed,” she bleats. “And I needed a little liquid courage…” you let out an exasperated sigh, shaking your head at yourself. “Neil’s homemade wine is no joke.” “Okay, sit down,” Ellie orders.

She begins to walk towards you, using her body to edge you closer to her bed, and you frown, asking, “What?” but still, you move with her. You try and explain that “I’m fine,” but Ellie just shakes her head, “Sit down, before you fall down.”

She can’t be serious. She’s seen me drunk before…worse than this. “El- “you begin, and her face tenses, no more fun Ellie. Her hard tone is unwavering as she asks, “Do I have to pick you up and sit you down myself?”

Your eyes widen, and there’s a beat of silence where your body reacts to her words.

Holy shit, you think, cheeks going hot. You have to laugh to hide it – have you push your thighs together.

The fuck was that?

“Ooo, okay,” you scoff, hands up, brows wiggling, and you let Ellie finish walking you to her unmade bed. You bounce onto the mattress, hands in your lap obediently.

The desire to explain hits you again, and you push at the mattress, saying, “Ellie, seriously, I’m fine.”

It’s a lie – every time you twist your head, the world turns – and the sudden concern from her is slightly overwhelming, if not embarrassing.

Still, she ignores your comment and walks to the sink, pouring you a glass of water, and then she grabs something from a wooden box. She thrusts both into your hands. “A bran muffin?” you question, staring at the lopsided baked good. Ellie pushes the glass to your face, and you glance up at her over the rim.

Her jaw is tense with unease, and her shoulders are rolled back, heavy with responsibility.

When you don’t move, she leans down, and her face is blurry, hand blurry, as you see the side of it before she taps your cheek softly.   “Drink and eat – I’m gonna finish my hair.”

Then she turns to the bathroom, and you watch her muscular back disappear.

90’s indie pours into her little apartment, and you sit, dumbfounded at what has just happened.

You diligently sip at the water.

Ellie is always a little hot-headed, and yeah, when you mucked about on runs, she’d snap into leader mode, but the alcohol, threaded with the warmth of her apartment, your nerves, and the bare skin of her neck and arms – the slither of skin between her belt and hem of her top – have you befuddled.

She’d slipped into protective mode so quickly.

Was a little mean about it too.

You lay back on her bed, pulling the hem of your skirt down to try and cover your bare thighs, and frown at her ceiling, munching on the muffin.

Come to think of it, Ellie had been odd these last couple of weeks.

Your usual flirtatious banter has been edged with something else, and she was glancing at you more often – ushering you in front of her on runs, so she could watch your back. Pulling you behind her all the same.

Do I have to pick you up and sit you down myself?

You sip at the water and nibble on the muffin. Mindlessly rub circles into your lower thigh, thinking about the way she crooked her scarred brow and the hardness of her features.

Challenge me, I dare you.

Ellie always took a lot on, and she has been stressed more than usual recently, but she didn’t have to be a dick about it.

You push your bottom lip out, thinking at the ceiling. You think about her though, and something sickly sweet still swirls in your belly.

It makes your cheeks heat, and you blink away the sudden fever, clenching your eyes closed.

You manage to finish the water and the muffin, but your belly still feels funny. Hands are clammy, skin prickly.

Maybe you’re drunker than you thought.

You decide to get more water.

As you get to her kitchenette, she glances at you from the bathroom beside it.

“You okay?” she asks, and you turn to her. She’s mid-chop, the scissors loosely sitting in her grip. She’s also taken her top off. Now donning only her bra and jeans, the swirl in your belly doubles.

The sight is not uncommon for you, but you find it hard to be angry at her when she’s half-naked.

There’s a light dusting of loose auburn hair on her shoulders, and she drops the scissors, reaching up to run her fingers through her hair.

You glance down at her chest, seeing the faint muscles flex as she stretches. Her jeans hang low around her hips, and it’s only then that you notice they’re unbuttoned.

How hadn’t you noticed that before?

“Babe?” “Hm?” you hum, snapping back to her. She’s wearing a bold smile. Your throat constricts. “I asked if you were okay.” “Oh –” you start, quickly turning to the sink. You pour more water, shaking your head. You remember where you are. Remember what’s happening.

“No,” you start, crossing your arms under your chest, “you were mean.” Ellie pauses. When you turn back to her, there’s an amused smile on her face, “Mean?” she asks, “Yeah – “you firmly jut, sipping your water. “I’m not a child Ellie.” Ellie mimics your stroppy face and puts her arms under her chest, too.

You risk a glance at her chest and see that her nipples are hard, peaking through the soft fabric of her bra.

Fuck. You snap back to her face.

“What do you mean?” she questions, cocking her head to the side. She begins to sway towards you, and you don’t move as she comes to rest in front of you – your back to the kitchen counter. There’s a second where your brain short-circuits. You forget that you’re meant to be mad at her. Her long fingers reach up, and you glance at her hand, breath caught in your throat. She smooths your hair behind your ear, inches away, “You’re my wittle baby.”

“You’re annoying,” you quickly groan, trying to suppress your smile as you turn to put the glass in the sink.

Ellie groans, “Ughhhh, I know I know, I’m awful—” and reaches around to take the empty glass from you and put it in the sink.

You stare at it. You could have done that. You were about to do that.

 She takes your hand, turning you to face her again.

“Come help me with the back.”

Your intertwined hands rest between you, pushing against your bare thigh.

Ignoring it seems like the wisest path. “Why should I?” you quirk, a faux frown on your face.

She’d put your glass in the sink. She’d taken the glass out of your hand and put it in the sink for you. Ellie pouts, pushing her bottom lip out, and she leans her full body weight on you, hips flush against yours, suddenly so close as she whispers, “You don’t want me to look pretty?”

Your belly flips. The smell of her, citrusy and damp, floods your nostrils, and you try to blink away the sudden dizziness that threatens to wash over you.

It’s then that you realise you’re not all that drunk anymore.

It’s just Ellie.

Your eyes flick down to her lips.

You trace the pink of them, focusing on the little cut she’s got there from chewing nervously. The air is suddenly thicker – all-consuming, and on your belly, you feel the brush of the button on Ellie’s jeans.

Warmth blooms, confusing and sudden.

Ellie’s silent. Looking up at her, you find that she’s studying you, too. Lavish green bathes you and you feel her unlock her hand from yours, pushing them onto the countertop on either side of your hips. The movement forces her closer, and you instinctually lean back, gasping as she follows you, forehead against yours.

You grab the back of her neck to stabilise yourself.

Her hands have moved to hold your hips.

There’s a fleeting second where you think she’s going to kiss you, but she instead brushes her nose against yours, and your mouth opens, a small hush of breath escaping.

Whatever this is, it’s never happened before. This is uncharted territory.

Your fingers stuff into her loose auburn strands, and you look down at where your body connects, seeing the tops of her breasts in the fabric bra. Her hardened nipples push at the cotton.

You drag your lips together, inhaling a shaky breath.

Looking back to Ellie, she’s watching you watch her. A small, crooked smile has absorbed her lips, and her cheeks are flushed pink, warm under your curious gaze.

She looks at your mouth, pushes her forehead against yours again, and inhales deeply, exhaling as she whispers, “Really wanna kiss you.”

Your heart picks up speed, the beat of it making your skin prickle -- your fingers numb.

A nervous panic finds you, and words fail as Ellie lazily gazes at your lips.

Your fingers move in her hair, cradling the back of her head, and, “Kiss me, then,” you whisper.

You barely see Ellie’s fleeting smile before she’s moving to press her lips to yours.

Her touch is tentative. Nervous, as she thumbs your hips, soft lips brushing against yours. Your eyes flutter closed, leaning into her mouth, and Ellie hums, the sound of it echoing through your body.

She pulls away for a second – maybe to centre herself - but you come back, excitedly brushing your tongue over her lips before kissing her, swallowing the surprised groan she emits.

Her hands tighten on your hips, while yours come to clutch the back of her head again. She tastes warm and new, the feeling unfamiliar, but you quickly become accustomed to it as she tongues her way into your mouth, body pressing tight against yours.

Heat consumes, warm and sudden.

For a fleeting second, you think, I’m kissing my best friend, but the thought is pushed away as Ellie’s hands greedily push behind you, flattening against your ass.

A gasp flutters out of your mouth, followed by an immediate swirl in your belly.

You move your hand, massaging the muscular side of her stomach. The kiss picks up as your hands move, your thumb running over the band of her bra.

Ellie whispers your name, desperate and breathy, and suddenly, it’s all too real -- you pull away.

Your eyes flutter open, and you swallow a gasp.

“We’re going to be late,” you rush, hand flattening on her stomach. Ellie takes a minute to collect herself. You can’t look at her as she watches you, emotions a whirlwind.

Eventually, her breathing settles. “Shit, yeah. The party,” she whispers, and she pulls back, hands leaving your body, the heat dispersing. She itches the back of her neck, nervously looking around. “Er – fuck. Lemme put a shirt on,” and as she looks for one, you lean against the counter, head hung back as you silently curse at the ceiling.

The walk to the party is silent.

Ellie – bless her heart – keeps a tight grip on your hand, thinking you’re still tipsy, but the alcohol has faded from your veins, replaced by a thicker, more visceral intoxication.

The touch of her is maddening.

You try and keep up, but your brain is foggy, and you’ve suddenly forgotten the way to the Tipsy Bison.

Ellie’s hand in yours is like a homing beacon.

Really wanna kiss you.

That’s what she’d said, right? The tenor of her voice consumes your mind, followed by the taste of her, and the slow-building desperation as she pulled you against her.

You hear the reverberating sound of her quick breathing as the bar comes into view, bright lights pouring out of its windows.

When Ellie pushes the door open, she drops your hand.

“Look who decided to finally show up!” Jesse hollers when he sees you. A hot acid shoots through your chest.

“I’m gonna get a drink,” you mumble, pulling away. Ellie glances at you, eyes sombre, and you think she’s about to say something, but no words make it out. “What’d I miss?” you hear Jesse ask. You clench your hand together. Really wanna kiss you.

Of course, Joel is behind the bar. His smile is welcoming and warm as he takes you in.

“Fashionably late?” he quirks as you lean against the wood.

“Er, yeah. Something like that,” you mumble, then motion behind you.

“Your girl always has the best timing.” Joel squints. He flicks his curious gaze between you and Ellie, noting the way she’s watching you, and his mouth twists, teasing. “I think you mean your girl.”

“What?” you snap, head craning to Joel. His smile widens. Panic blooms again. “She say something?” you rattle, not bothering to hide the eagerness in your tone, and Joel shakes his head, pouring you a drink. He pours two, and slides them to you, “Not a word.”

The night passes in a blur. You spend most of it with Claire from the Kitchen, ignoring the burn at the back of your neck from Ellie’s eyes.

It doesn’t matter where you scamper off too – her gaze always finds you, searing a hole in your spine.

At one point, Claire cuts you off mid-sentence, “Sorry, Ellie’s looking at me weird.” “What?” you ask, turning immediately. You find the green-eyed girl staring, and when you glance at her, she quickly snaps away, almost flinching. With a sigh, you turn back to Claire.

“It’s not you – it’s me. It’s—” you shake your head, “—a long story.” “Well, maybe you can explain later because she’s coming our way.” You twist, and sure enough, Ellie is pushing through the crowd, half-full drink in hand. When she looks at you, she takes a sip, as if she needs the liquid courage.

Quickly, she’s inches away, and you smell the musky citrusy warmth of her. Take in her frame from your seat in the booth. Really wanna kiss you.

Her eyes find you, and they’re glazed from what looks like whiskey in her tumbler.  “Um. Can we talk? Please,” then, “Hi Claire.”

Claire waves. There’s a beat of silence where you just look at Ellie – your friend, Ellie, who you just kissed – and you find that you’re rooted to the spot.

You don’t want to talk about it.

Don’t want to talk about how dizzy she made you feel, how you’d begged for more, reaching for the warmth of her lips as you dragged your hands over her narrow body.

Kiss me then.

When you don’t move, Ellie’s features freeze, and there’s fear there – please. Please talk to me.

You begin to slide out. Put on a front for Claire who is looking between the pair of you, perplexed. “Yeah, sure Els. Sorry, Claire, I’ll find you, okay?” Ellie holds a hand out for you to hold, but she pulls it back, scornful of the instinct. Shame, as you were about to grab it.  

When you get out of the Tipsy Bison, you realise that the temperature has dropped rapidly.

You’re about to comment on the weather, but Ellie is turning, suddenly, stopping near the notice board and holding her hands up.

“I’m sorry,” she spits, the apology loud in the chilly air.

There’s no one around. They’re all either in bed or at the party, and the empty streets of Jackson make her apology more real, almost – just the two of you.

Music bleeds through the wood, swirling between the pair of you.

She clasps her long fingers together and starts tugging at them, wringing them out like a wet towel.

“I’m – fuck. Fuck, I’m sorry for kissing you it was…” she shakes her head, not able to find the word. Her lip wobbles and you remember that Ellie’s an emotional, needy drunk. “…I’m sorry,” she whispers again, words cracking. She looks at her Converse, ashamed. You take her red hands. Smooth your fingers over the marks she’d rubbed into them, silently begging for her to look at you.

Ellie had never kissed you before. But thinking about it, there’s not an ounce of regret floating in your body.

Confusion, sure but confused because you want it to happen again.

You bend to look at her, saying, with every fibre of your being that “It’s okay.” She’s quick to brush you off. Still looking at the floor, she states, “You were drunk.” “I wasn’t that drunk, Ellie. You’d plied me with food, and I had two glasses of water.” She shrugs, “Still.”

Taking a tentative step closer, you tug her hands, holding them close to your belly. Ellie runs hot and holding her has taken the edge off the chill.

Kiss me then. “I asked you to kiss me, Els.”

And I’d ask you to kiss me again if you weren’t so sad. Did kissing me make you sad, Ellie?

She slowly raises her head. There she is.

You husk, “I’m sorry if I made this confusing.” “No – I. I shouldn’t have,” she flexes her fingers around yours, “said what I said. I didn’t mean it.” Your face falls. Quickly, you try and pull the mask back up, but you squeak, “You didn’t mean it?” Ellies pales.

“Fuck—” she pulls her hands away, turning her back to you.

“I always say the wrong shit.”

Without her touch, the Jackson cold consumes you. A blue wave crashes into you. Lonely.

You’re lonely, standing on the porch of the Tipsy Bison, watching her back move as she rubs the base of her palms into her eyes.

She spits a curse. The air swirls under your skirt, and you suddenly feel a sickly feeling in your belly.

Your voice is a shell of itself when you whisper, “Ellie. We can just forget it happened if that’s what you want.” You get no response.

Had you made it all up? Had you read it wrong? Had Ellie even said what you thought she had?

“Please say something,” you breathe, picking at your nails.

You lick your lips and taste the ghost of her, hot and desperate in her apartment.

The musky taste of her will haunt you. Will consume your dreams, you’re sure of it, and you’ll wake, startling back into Jackson with that Blue Wave knocking into you once again.

Her back flexes. Silence ticks. Music bleeds, tinny – not real. Might as well not be.

The echo of the kiss fizzes at the back of your teeth like the hard-boiled sweet Ellie had slipped you during a drill one morning.

It’s lemon, she whispered, just don’t choke on it when we run.

You turn, ready to run back to your apartment and hide under your duvet.

Rid yourself of this shame that has suddenly consumed you, the Blue Wave that runs cold, but warm Ellie takes your hand, pulling it to her.

A gasp lodges in your throat, and Ellie’s speaking, spewing the truth at you with wild, green eyes.

“I did want to kiss you, fuck. I did. I did, I did---I do!” she brandishes the words like a weapon, planting it into Jackson, the first man on the moon.

 “and I—probably should have waited for a better moment. But you were just—” she huffs, shaking her head at herself, holding your hand like it’s hers and she’s not really holding it, just, feeling it there, the constant feel and not feel of your limb, warm and fuzzy from under the skin.

You watch her swallow down a thousand eventualities, a thousand ways to phrase her thoughts.

Finally, “I do want to kiss you,” she concludes. After a beat, she flashes you a small Ellie smile, and Jackson isn’t cold anymore. It’s summer. “Okay,” you whisper, nodding. “Okay,” she copies. “Cool.” “Yeah,” another Ellie smile, “Cool.” “You wanna go back inside? I’m freezing.” “Yeah,” she nods, holding her/your hand, “Cool.”

[me-and-your-husband]

Bully!ellie !!!!! omg i neeeeeeed

i am obsessed omg

warnings: smut, mean!ellie, fingering (r receiving), fem reader, dirty talk, kinda public sex idk, shitty writing, not proofread, mirror sex

she wouldn't be the typical bully, not ellie. she wouldn't be super popular. she'd never hurt you. she wasn't known as a bully at all. only to you.

it would 100% be one of those instances where "she's only being mean to you because she likes you" like they tell little girls in the third grade (except it's not normalizing abusive relationships let's be real). however, you wouldn't even think that she had any semblance of care in her heart for you.

when she saw you around campus, she'd always make some snide comment loud enough for you to hear to dina or jesse. they'd always tell her to stop being mean, but she couldn't get enough of that look on your face, the look of "what did i ever do to you?".

she'd accidentally shoulder-check you in the hall, sometimes accidentally shoving your books out of your hands. she'd make snide remarks to you in the halls.

you ask for clarification from one of your professors on something menial. she'd laugh, "no shit."

you'd walk into a party wearing something you wouldn't normally wear, something a little more revealing. she'd laugh again. "you're wearing that?" and she'd give you a massive side eye. dina would shove her and just go "tf?"

she'd turn away, trying to mask the blush that crawled up her neck and to her cheeks, trying to mask the way she was sweating a little and her breath was uneven because you were showing more skin than usual and she felt like she was going to go insane if you looked at her like that one more time.

you'd be studying in the library, listening to music with headphones, when she walks up behind you, lifts the ear, and lets it snap back down against your head. she'd walk away chuckling, throwing a smirk at you over het shoulder.

truth is, ellie didn't know how to get your attention any other way, and she needed it. it killed her inside to know she was hurting you, but she just wanted to see your pretty face acknowledge her.

at night, while the moon's blanket was wrapping you in sleep, she'd be ranting to dina or jesse about how much she wanted you to like her back. she was hopeless. they'd always respond with "well, she's never going to be into you if you keep treating her like that."

she'd just huff and roll over in her bed to face the wall. she knew dina and jesse were right. she treated you like that because she knew she'd crumble if she couldn't interact with you anymore, but she couldn't bring herself to show you that vulnerable part of herself. as far as she knew, you weren't even into girls. she was afraid of rejection. not just any rejection, though. she was afraid of being rejected by you.

one, dreary friday night, dina dragged her to some party in the basement of some local. it was a smaller gathering, maybe two dozen people. when she walked in, the smell of weed and alcohol hit her immediately, pulling her through the door and slamming it shut behind her. the music and laughter immediately sucked her in.

she made rounds with dina, grabbing a drink and saying hi to the few people she knew. she had to physically stop her jaw from dropping when she saw you, holding a blunt, legs thrown over some random girl's lap.

dina slammed into her back when she stopped, spilling her drink all over the side of ellie's white t-shirt. "fuck, dina," she said, looking at the damage.

"just go to the bathroom and-" dina paused when she saw what had stolen ellie's attention. "oh, shiiiiit," she breathed out a laugh. "well, that's settled then. anyways, just go scrub it out. it'll be fine."

dina left ellie to go find her other friends. ellie's eyes burned holes in your face as you tugged the smoke in, blowing it out and then blushing at something the girl sitting in front of you had said. she was clearly flirting with you.

your eyes caught ellie's, your brows furrowing a little at the expression on her face. she broke eye contact, shaking her head before finding the bathroom.

she sighed as her fingertips pushed open the door, reaching for the lock after shutting it behind her. she cursed when she realized the lock was broken.

she gripped the edge of the counter as she stared into her reflection. she looked miserable, brows knit together and a scowl on her face. she huffed as she slid her shirt off, leaving her in just a bra. she located the stain and began to scrub furiously with wet tissue, to no avail.

her head snapped towards the door when she heard it click open, readying to cuss whoever it was out. she didn't expect you, slack jawed, to be standing with your back to the door.

"shit! sorry, oh my god," you said as you turned to leave, face and neck turning red.

"wait!" ellie said before she could think. she cleared her throat, "it's fine. it's not a big deal."

you turned back to face her, eyes drifting to her hands holding the shirt over the sink, trying not to look at her body (god, it was hard).

you pointed at her shirt timidly, "want some help?" you said, shuffling your feet, eyes still apologetic.

she looked back and forth between you and the shirt for a few seconds. "by all means," she said, tossing you the shirt and leaning back against the counter, crossing her arms over her chest.

you moved to the sink, grabbing some tissue and wetting the shirt itself where the stain sat. you opted for gentle, deep scrubs instead of ellie's frantic, aggressive scrubbing. your fingers drew the stain out impressively.

"wow. not too bad, pretty girl," she said, grabbing her shirt from your hands.

"pretty girl?" you breathed. "since when?"

she just laughed it off. her fingers felt the fabric where the stain had been, still slightly damp. she noticed that your eyes were raking over her exposed skin, smoothing over her toned stomach and arms, pupils blown.

"like what you see?" she said, smirking. you bit your lip and looked away, flushing even more. she grinned, "tell me, pretty girl."

you avoided her eyes, "...yeah. fine, yes."

she hummed, taking a step closer to you. she held her shirt up in front of you. "should i even bother putting this back on, then?"

you looked up at her, noticing just how close she was. you could feel her warm breath on your lips, making you dizzy. it was so wrong, feeling like this for the girl who had made your life hell for so long. but you couldn't ignore the warm, sticky feeling growing between your thighs.

she backed you up further, so you were caged between her arms against the door. her eyes flickered between yours and your lips, leaning in, ever so slowly. you closed your eyes when she kissed you, whining into it. it was soft, delicate.

she cupped your face as her tongue licked into your mouth. your hips bucked up on instinct, telling her you wanted more. you pressed her against you before she pulled away.

"you want me, baby?" she said. you nodded fervently. "good, cause i want you."

her hands squeezed your hips, turning you around and pulling your back flush to her front. her fingers grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it off. "can i?" she said, hands ghosting over the cups of your bra.

"yes, ellie. please."

she pulled the cups down so your breasts spilled out. her mouth found your neck as she gently playing with your hardening nipples, you moaning at the sensitivity.

she continued sucking marks into your neck, soothing them with her tongue afterwards. her hands slowly crept down to the waistband of your pants, sliding them down to your knees.

she grabbed your hips once again and positioned you right in front of the bathroom mirror, all so you both could see everything she did to you.

"i want you to watch me, baby," she whispered into your ear, eyes meeting yours in the mirror.

you moaned when her hands ghosted over your clit through your damp panties.

"stop teasing," you said.

she hummed, "you're right. i've been waiting long enough."

she pushed your panties to the side, fingers sliding through your cunt and collecting your slick. "so wet for me already."

you moaned as her middle finger pressed into your drenched hole, slowly working deeper inside of you. she moaned at the feeling of you squeezing it.

"feels so good," you said, throwing your head back against her shoulder. her other hand came to your jaw, forcing you to watch her actions in the mirror.

"eyes on me, baby."

her finger worked deeper, the sounds of your slick filling the air obscene.

"need more," you whined, half-lidded eyes meeting hers in the mirror.

she hummed as she dipped her ring finger in next to her middle finger. you gasped at the small stretch, cunt clenching around her fingers deliciously.

a smirk sat permanently on her pretty lips as she worked in and out of you, your juices dripping down her wrist.

"such a slut," she whispered in your ear. "can feel you squeezing my fingers baby. want another one?"

"yes! yes, please ellie!"

"alright, pretty girl," she said, adding her index into your puffy hole. you began to feel the knot forming tighten, sending a rush of heat through your entire abdomen.

"fuck! ellie, gonna cum. gonna— ohhh," you moaned. her mouth covered yours to swallow your moans.

as you came down, ellie nuzzled her face into your neck, gently pulling her fingers out. you met her eyes in the mirror and watched her as she brought her fingers up to her lips, sucking on your sweet juices. she moaned around her digits, savouring the taste.

your pussy clenched even more at the sight.

she moaned, "taste so good, baby. now, let's get out of here so i can really taste you, yeah?"

part 2

let's pretend i don't hate this

permanent taglist: @winters-fairy @idkwhattonamethisblogs

ellie taglist: @chrry1ovr @milly-louise @dankpunks @starhrtz @pedrobaby @urlocalgingersnap

[scarleart]

₊˚ ━☆* just had a random thought, what about gf!ellie fucking you while you have a little cold. i can’t shake this thought away lmfao.

ellie would be knuckles deep in your pussy. your mouth hanging wide open, spewing out raspy mewls and rugged quick breaths as she finger fucked you so deliciously.

she had practically begged to make you feel good, since she seen how miserable you been lately with this sudden cold. she just wanted her girl to feel good and relax, take your mind off the tiredness and fatigue of your body.

every time you sniffled, ellie would quirk the sides of her lip’s up softly. finding you so damn adorable, her fingers picking up it’s pace in your gummy walls. curling them up and groaning when she felt how fucking wet you got.

“mmphn- ellie” you whimpered out to the beautiful freckle faced girl, grabbing onto her wrist to try and keep yourself grounded. at the cry of her name, ellie looks at your features. she could tell you were sick, the sheen and the puffiness that accustomed your face told the story all day long. that and the scrunches of pleasure written across your face make you the most perfect little thing. she smirked softly, deciding not to tease you even though it’s practically in her blood to do so. you were already suffering enough.

“yeah? what is it, babe” her low, sympathetic voice was so fucking sexy. it was the fuel to your goddamn fire.

“it feels s-so, good. baby, please-“ at your croaked whines ellie shushes you, her free hand rubbing at your swollen clit, unable to contain the sweet smile etching her face at the sounds you were making for her.

“shh, i got you baby. gonna make you feel real good, didn’t i tell you that? hm?” ellie asks, looking for an answer. her fingers so sloppy from your wetness, the sound echoing around the whole room.

you nod your head with a whimpered yes leaving you, answering her question. seeing ellie nod with a slight pout, she was so mocking you but she couldn’t fucking help herself.

and what suddenly happened next, made you want to fall deep into the mattress and suffocate.

you sneezed , you fucking sneezed.

and ellie was there watching your face steadily, seeing the exact moment where the sneezed came upon you. she watched the whole thing happened right in-front of her. you sniffled and swipe over your nose with the back of your hand before completely covering your face at the sounds of ellie hearty laughs and low chuckles.

“ellie! stop” you whined, sounding like a bratty child that didn’t get their way. ellie gives you a big kiss on your cheek while still laughing in shock, her fingers leaving from inside of you to rub your slick over your pussy before paying attention to your sensitive nub. making it her mission to make you cum all over her.

“god, i swear you’re the cutest fucking thing i’ve ever seen”

[pedrospatch]

we need you

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

summary: Afraid of failing the two of the people he cares about more than anything, Joel decides you and Ellie are better off without him.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SET IN JACKSON. takes place during Kin. arguing, angst. helpful to know reader was not present when Joel and Tommy talked in the garage. NO mentions of age, reader has no physical description.

word count: 1.6k

a/n: welllllp i don't know about you guys, but i am DEAD inside after tonight so to cope i am going to write a little drabble. already put it in the warning/tags section, but once again, just to be on the safe side of things: potential spoilers, proceed with caution if you do not want the newest episode spoiled!

“Just what in the motherfucking hell was that, Joel?” You nearly growled, bursting through the door of the bedroom that he’d chosen to occupy for the night. Having heard the way he’d spoken to Ellie—not to mention, all that he had said to her even after her heartbreaking confession to him, her unspoken cry for him not to abandon her, all you could see in your mind was the color red. Sure, you and Joel had been through your fair share of bullshit over the years, disagreements that caused friction between the two of you weren’t all that uncommon seeing as the two of you shared similar personality traits to each other, stubbornness being one of them. But you could not, for the life of you, remember an occasion where you’d been this angry with him, this fucking livid. As you watched him sink down onto the bed without a word, your hands curled into fists at your sides. You knew it would only make matters worse, losing your temper, but you weren’t all too sure that you could contain it this time around.

The blood in your veins was bubbling, boiling hot underneath your skin.

“Are you going to fucking answer me or what?” You prompted, a cool edge to your tone despite the heat radiating throughout your body. “You’re really trying to hand her off to Tommy?”

Joel sighed, shaking his head. “You weren’t supposed to find out like this.”

“Find what out, Joel? That you went off and made a decision, and a really fucking dumb one at that, without even talking to me about it first?” You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him. Despite how incredibly furious you were, the sadness was heavy inside of your chest. Tt was as if Joel had forgotten the fact that for the last few months, Ellie had been under your care too, and you had every right to be a part of any decision that he made regarding her and her well-being. It hurt you to your very core that he’d done this without talking to you first, and it hurt you even deeper to know that Ellie had known about this and she’d kept it all to herself all evening.

She’d come home from the movies and when you offered her dinner, she refused to eat and stomped upstairs, locking herself in the bedroom. You’d chalked it up to nothing more than a typical teenaged girl simply having a mood swing. After all, it hadn’t exactly been the best day for Ellie. She’d arrived in Jackson and the first thing she noticed was how everyone in the colony looked at her, especially the children. She was different. She didn’t fit in, she stuck out like a sore thumb and you knew that had to have been hard for her. Not wanting to push her, you’d figured that she would come out of the room eventually and talk you about it when she was good and ready. But now that you knew the real reason why she had come home so upset, you couldn’t help but to feel guilty.

For hours, Ellie had been upstairs in that room knowing that Joel planned on dumping her on Tommy and you didn’t have the slightest fucking clue about what was going on until you’d overheard Joel and Ellie’s shouting match just moments ago.

“Joel.” You said his name in a tone neither of you recognized.

Low, venomous, borderline dangerous.

You were like a ticking bomb, seconds away from going off.

Joel narrowed his eyes at you. “She’s better off with Tommy, alright? And we both fuckin’ know that,” he said. “It’s the best thing to do for her. I’m doin’ it because I know damn good and well that if she stays with me, all I’m gonna do is have her fall into the wrong fuckin’ hands or killed.”

“You’re wrong!” You countered, dropping your arms away from your chest and back down to your sides. “Joel, don’t you dare fucking do this. Ellie doesn’t want Tommy, she wants you. She all but fucking said it right to your face just a minute ago!” You cried, pointing a finger towards the door of the room as if pointing to Ellie herself. “She admitted to you that she wouldn’t feel safe with anyone else, Joel. So don’t you fucking do this to her.”

He gripped the edge of the bed, his knuckles going ghost white. “She’ll be better off with Tommy,” he repeated himself. He paused for a brief moment, just long enough to avert his tortured gaze from yours as he said, “And so would you.”

Your mouth parted slightly in shock. “Fucking excuse me?”

“I can’t keep her safe. Hell, I can barely keep you safe! How many fuckin’ times have I almost lost you? ‘Cause I don’t move fast enough? ‘Cause I’ve made the wrong decisions? ‘Cause I’ve asked you to do somethin’ for me and turns out that I unknowingly sent you into the fuckin’ lion’s den?” He inhaled a sharp breath, and you could hear his voice breaking with each and every word that fell from his lips. “I’ve almost cost you your life how many fuckin’ times now?”

“Joel—”

“Tess died ‘cause of me.” He saw you open your mouth to protest and he quickly added, “You can sit there and tell me over and over that it wasn’t my fault ‘til you’re blue in the face, but let’s just fuckin’ be honest and tell it how it is, alright? I couldn’t get to her quick enough and now she’s dead. I won’t let you meet the same fate.” Joel reached up, raking a hand tiredly through his hair, mentally bracing himself for your reaction to what he was about to say next. “I think you should go with Tommy and get Ellie to where she needs to be. After that, you should—you should think about stayin’ here with him in Jackson. I probably don’t belong here, but you do.”

You let out a small, shaky breath of air.

“Who the hell are you to make that kind of decision for me?” You asked, willing yourself to keep yourself from crumbling into tears. “I’m sorry Joel, but you can’t make that kind of a choice for me. And do you want to know what else?” You didn’t even wait for him to respond. “You can’t make it for Ellie, either.”

“She’s fuckin’ fourteen years old—”

You took a step forward as you challenged him. “Do you really think that girl isn’t smart enough to know deep down inside what’s best for her? Tell me, do you really think that Ellie pulled everything she said out of her ass? Do you honestly think that she could ever trust Tommy the way that she trusts you?” You felt a warm tear slide down your cheek and quickly wiped it away before he could see it. “Ellie is young, but she’s not a baby, Joel. I get that sometimes we need to guide her through shit, but let’s be real. She is old enough to make decisions for herself. Maybe not all of them, but the decision that you’re trying to make for her right here, right now—it isn’t yours to make.” Another tear made its way down the side of your face as you whispered, “And the one you’re trying to make for me isn’t either.”

Joel hung his head, seemingly defeated. “Why can’t you see it’s for the best? Why are you makin’ this so hard?”

Willing your trembling legs to move, you slowly walked over to him and sank to your knees in front of him; although you tried to meet his eyes, he refused. “You care about Ellie. I know it, I can see it and I can feel it. For as much shit as you give her all the time, I know that she’s become so important to you.”

“‘Course she is,” he mumbled. “You’re both important to me.”

You reached for his hands, pulling them forward onto his lap. You placed your own hands on top of his, lacing your fingers together. “Then don’t fucking do this to us, Joel. Please. I’m already down on my knees and I will fucking beg and plead if that’s what it’s going to take.” You crouched down a little further, enough so that you could look up into his dark brown eyes. “Ellie wants to be with you, Joel. And I do too.”

Joel’s gaze glistened with tears that he tried, but failed, to keep from falling in front of you. “I’ll fail you, just like I’ve fuckin’ failed everybody else.”

“Joel, please listen to me. Hear what I am saying, for the love of Christ. We have come so far,” You said, firmly squeezing his hands in yours as if somehow that would snap him out of it. “Whether you choose to believe or not, we’ve only come this far because of you. You have done so much for us. It’s why we trust you, why we feel safe with you. Me and Ellie, we belong with you, Joel—not with Tommy, not with anyone else. We need you, okay? We fucking need you. Do you understand me, Joel?”

Joel exhaled the breath he’d been holding shakily, leaning down to be closer to you. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against yours as he tried to even out his breathing.

Rubbing the back of his hands with your thumbs in soothing circles, you lifted your head and lightly pressed your lips against his forehead.

“We’re going to finish what we started,” You murmured quietly against his skin, feeling a slight shudder rack his body as a single whimper escaped him. You squeezed his hands again. “Together, Joel.”

[pantheresssy]

Spending Nights (Abby Anderson/ Reader)

Hello!

This is part 2 of ‘casual’! You can find part 1 in this masterlist! It took me so much time to write this but i did it, im rlly sorry, studying is making my creativity go away. Enjoy!!!

Synopsis: Your friendship with Ellie becomes stronger as you both get to know each other better. From the other side, Abby wasn’t dealing with this too well.

warnings: marijuana use (els), non graphic smut, too much abby and not much of els, angst angst, getting into toxic!abby.

“It smells like shit,”

Blowing the smoke on the air and, for consequence on your face, Ellie looked at you with a smirk. Her eyes were blurred and couldn’t stay in the same place for too long, in a trance with the sensations of marijuana. “But it makes me so fu-cki-ng good. Try.”

You pushed her hand away from your face and twisted your nose, feeling that the smell would make you sick and stick to your hair and clothes. You were in her dorms, with the notebook where she writes her songs open on your lap. Somewhere in the middle of your reading, you discovered a few more things she wrote. Small poetry’s. Most of them were sad, about unrequited loves, death, sadness of abandonment and the loss of a parental love. They were tragically tragic, but still beautiful.

Ellie looked over your shoulder, following your reading. Smiling when you turned your page to see the sweetest song you had ever come close to. She was a real talent, just like you had imagined when you first meet her. “I’ll write one for you.”

“If it’s as good as this one, I’ll say please.” She made a face and leaned back on her seat, taking the marijuana into her mouth.

Ellie blowed and talked at the same time. “This is the worst I’ve written since I started.”

You dismissed her words, outraged by what she had said. When you told her it was the ‘best one she had so far’ she looked a bit offended and gave you a full list of why it was her worst composition. Ellie explained to you all of her creative work and, by the end, you thought you knew more about songs than about your own classes. It was interesting seeing how her eyes shone and her voice became more happy. You could see that she really loved doing what she did.

When you went back to your doorms, not long after, you did with a smile. She really was a great friend, person, and writer. It was curious for you how she gad opened up about what she liked so quickly after knowing you for barely a whole week. But it was good.

The rest of your day, you enjoyed with one of your many books. Laying in bed with it on your chest, being dragged by the words. That’s why, when a knock sounded on your door, you opened it without checking who it was. Thinking it could be Dina — (or Ellie) — you never looked away from the page you were reading, only finding out who truly was when she spoke for the first time.

“Can we talk?” Abby said. At that moment, you regretted not asking who it was first. It’s been days since you last saw her, and you would be laying to yourself if you say that this wasn’t broking your heart even more, but you tried to ignore.

Holding your breath, you swallowed hard before answering: “No. I… I’m not in the mood for talking right now.” Deep down you wanted it, so when you kept talking, you wanted to slap yourself. “Maybe later.”

Abby stepped closer when you make a move to close the door, quickly trying to stop you. And it worked. “I saw you at the party.” There it comes. “Who is she?”

You raised an eyebrow. She had no right to be there questioning you, as if she deserved something. “I’m surprised you went, you never liked those things.” A small pause, “But I guess I should’ve had imagined, you have changed so much in a short time.”

She bit the inside of her cheek and you knew she was looking for what to say next. “Owen invited me”, And oh… oh.

Of course he did. You felt silly, a completely idiot. She never went with you when you asked, always making sure you knew how much she hated going to these things. But with him, that part never really mattered. “I’m glad he managed to change your mind.”

“He didn’t,” She said quickly. “I hated going there. You know this, Y/n. I… I hated even more when I saw you with her.”

An ironic laugh escaped you and you looked at the ground already feeling the tears filling your waterline, obstructing your vision. Abby was the proudest person you had ever seen and, when she said that, you realized that she was there not because she missed you, or because she wanted to apologize for everything she did, but for some jealousy of seeing you with someone other than her. You had to mourn her for the time she thought it was necessary, waiting until she wanted to come and talk to you correctly. Like at that moment.

It was a cycle that she had created and you couldn’t leave. On other occasions the same had happened, but not like that, with a fight so big as that one. You two have never been more than a few hours without talking to each other, and it’s been a long time.

You started poking your thumb, an attempt to keep everything you felt inside you through the soft pain. “You don’t own me any explanations.”

Abby denied. “I do, yes.“

“Look…” You started, letting transpire in your voice and face how tired you were of going around so many times, only to ended up in the same place. “We had the same conversation that day, you said what you wanted to say, what you felt-“

She interrupted you. “I didn’t.”

“So i am asking you to leave.”

As the last word came out of your mouth, you saw her posture fall. She looked sad, worried and younger, totally vulnerable and open for you. And you hated that you felt yourself softening. “Abby,”

She reached out for you and took your hand. You felt the urge to pull off her grip, but gave up in the last second. “Give me one chance.”

Swallowing, you watched as her fingers went to the inner part of your pulse, and you squeezed your eyebrows together. She was close, so close and God, it was good to feel her there. Your walls and anger were down as soon as she stepped even further after seeing your reaction, her lips touching yours.

And you did no move to push her.

Abby was fully inside of your room and closed the door with her feet while her hands gripped your wrist. You joined your lips more to hers, sighing heavily when you realized that you would not be able to let her out, even if you fought with all your strength against your will. Your arms wrapped around her neck and you two walked blindly to your bed, you sitting on the end while she was still standing in front of you, her back bent the kiss wouldn’t end. And you moaned, a sound that came from the back of your throat that seemed so desperate, wanting. But Abby smiled in enjoyment — (and proud).

Your shirt quickly came out of your body, then the rest of your clothes. She pulled you to the middle of the bed and started to kiss, lick and grope each part of you she could reach. Your noises only got louder, this time being followed by hers. And when her fingers went inside you, touching that spongy place that made you see stars, you felt your body shake with goosebumps. You couldn’t deny it anymore, you loved her and loved the way she made you feel.

You were lost on the fog of your orgasm, your mouth was open, trying to catch air for your lungs. She fell at your side on the bed, one of her arms supporting her head while the other supported yours. With the corner of your eye, you could see the smile she held and turned for her, placing your hand on her chest. You could regret it later, being so close to her, so open, letting yourself go so easily. But at that moment, you couldn’t think of anything else but being with her like that for the rest of your days. That’s why, when the words came out of your mouth, you didn’t stop them.

“I missed you,”

She hummed, taking your chin and pulling you into a light kiss. “Me too.” She said. “It was a torture, being away from you and seeing you with… Ellis… Ellie?”

You licked your lips, feeling her taste. “Ellie. Dina introduced us at that party. She’s great. She showed me the songs she writes today.”

Abby’s face fell into something darker, heavier. Jealousy shone back on her and you sank your nails on her skin, trying to pull her back. You knew that if you allowed it, that moment would turn into a discussion just like the other day or worse. She was territorialist and you hated it, especially after having fought with you because of your jealousy and insecurities. “I don’t like her.”

“Do you like anyone?” You asked, fun shining in your eyes and voice.

She kissed you one, two, three times. “You.” With her statement, you smiled big. Abby stroked your cheek, whispering her next words: “Just… can you stay away from her? For me, please.”

Just like that, your expression twisted in a grimace. “That’s why you’re here? To fuck me and try to say with who you want me to hangout with?” You got up and started to put your clothes back on. “Get out, Anderson.”

She faced you. “She clearly wants you, Y/n.” You laughed indignantly. “I won’t let her fuck with you.”

“Like you did that day? She won’t do it, Abby. And you know why? Because Ellie doesn’t hide what she feel, she doesn’t yell and curse when a problem pops up.” Your chest gasped with your words said in one breath. “Leave, now. You’ve stayed too much already.”

You pointed to the door, lowering your head and listening to her wear her clothes. Abby walked up to you and stopped in front of you. “I fucking tried to do this better. You can’t blame me now.”

How much you hated that situation, to be dragged by those words. The pain you felt before was nothing compared to the one you felt at that moment. “That’s all that matters to you, isn’t it? Making me feel bad so you can go over me?”

“I fucking like you, Y/n! That’s why I don’t want you with her.” Her finger wrapped around a lock of your hair and gave a slight pull.

You walked away and rubbed your hands on your face. “And you show it by trying to put someone I like as a friend away? Just go, Abby.”

“I ain’t giving up on you.”

She left with one last look and you closed the door as soon as she passed through the threshold, sniffling when the tears fell and your body was shaken with strong hiccups. You felt nothing but stupid. You knew that at some point everything would go down, but you didn’t knew it would be so quick, — not after everything.

You really thought that things would settled down, after just a few minutes and a moment with her at the bed. You thought you would go back to spending nights with her, smiling and kissing. Abby could make a fool out of you so easily. Sometimes you think you might hate her.

And this is the end!

I really wish I could write more than 2k but at some point I just start to repeat words/expressions and I have a tick with this. Hope you had enjoyed this ride and be patient with me for part 3 plss it will come out! Thank you for all of your comments!! As always, I’m sorry for any mistake.

taglist: @pinkpanther-44, @elsmissingfingers, @sofi4v13, @bready101, @mattxxamryli.

[alloftheimagines]

joel miller | left behind

masterlist | taglist | ko-fi

words: 2.9k

warnings: angst, angst, angst. so much angst. ep two spoilers. tess's death. grief. loss. infected stuff. reader is tess's younger sister. age gap. more angst. so much angst. slightly violent reader.

synopsis: in which joel honours a promise he made to tess that means he must force reader to leave your infected sister behind in boston. resentment and a bit of hurt/comfort ensues as you head to frank and bill's.

sibling!tess x reader, reader x joel, little bit of reader x ellie

tags: @sweetbabygirlsworld

“Holy shit. She’s infected.”

You didn’t think the world could fall apart twice, but you look at Tess as Ellie's words settle in and realise you were wrong. Here you are again, losing everything. This time, you don’t know if you can survive. 

“Tess…” you whisper, shaking your head slowly. “No. No. No.” 

Beside you, Joel is deadly still. He looks at your sister with such detachment that you want to scream. This is Tess. Fucking Tess. 

But you know him. You know he’s good at switching off when things get tough. Not like you. You wear your heart on your damn sleeve, and you can’t fucking do this. You look at her again, heart breaking. You feel every tear, every shard slipping through your ribcage. Tess is motionless — resigned. She wears sadness, but no fear. None anybody but you can see, anyway. You grew up with her. You can see the fading light in her eyes in a way the others won’t. 

And you don’t know what to do.

“Let me see it,” Joel orders quietly.

“Joel…” Tess pleads. 

“Show me,” he growls. 

Bitterly, she tears down the collar of her shirt, revealing the infection blossoming across bruised veins. Your knees threaten to buckle, nausea rising in your throat. 

“No.” Tears slip down your cheeks, and you’re already searching the room again for some hint the Fireflies might have left, some sign that it won’t end like this. “No. The girl is a cure. If we can just—”

Tess is saying your name. You’re not listening. If you listen, it will be real. If you listen, you will have to say goodbye to the only family you have left. 

“Joel,” she’s saying now. “This kid… this kid is real, okay? You gotta get her, get them both, to Tommy’s. He’ll know where to go, what to do.”

“No. No, I’m not doing that,” he replies. 

You’re still rattling around, searching old papers and nooks for something, anything; as though you’ll find a miracle in the shadows. 

“If not for the kid then for her.” Tess’s voice rises. You squeeze your eyes shut, your back turned to her. “She needs you, Joel. This is the end of the road for me, but you need to keep going. Promise me."

“I’m not leaving you here!” you shout, throwing the first thing you find against the wall. It smashes to dust. “We’ll find a way out of this, Tess. We always fucking do. Let’s just stop and figure it out!” 

“There is no figuring it out.” Tess marches over to you, gripping your face in her hands. You try so hard to fight it, so hard to stay in denial, but you look at her drawn face and know she’s already half-gone. You know the worry furrowing her brows isn’t for herself, but for you. For what will happen to you now. She practically raised you, toughening you up or else cradling you through the bad nights, never any in between. It made you both strong and so unbearably weak. Not like Joel, who has never let anything touch him. 

You choke on a sob and close your eyes. “Please, Tess. Please. This can’t be it. I need you.”

“I need you. I need you to be safe. I need you to keep going. Please, sweetheart.” She softens, brushing the tears from your eyes. “Please. For me.”

“No—” 

The sound of moans and the shuffling of uneven footsteps interrupt your protest. Joel goes to the window and curses, readying his gun. “Infected. Shit tonne of ‘em. We gotta go.”

You grab Tess’s wrist without thinking. “Come on.”

But she slips out of your grasp, stepping away from all of you. Ellie has tears in her eyes, but she says nothing, looking for the first time not to Tess or Joel, but to you. 

“I can buy you some time, but you have to run. You have to go,” Tess whispers. 

You shake your head again, ferociously this time. “No. No, I’m not leaving. If you stay, I stay.”

She snaps her head away. “Joel. Get her out of here.”

You fight back a bitter scoff, fists curling at your sides — but then hands lock around your arms, nudging you away. “Come on," Joel grunts. "We have to go. Now.”

The betrayal stings. This is fucking Tess. Of all people, he should want to help her. He shouldn’t be giving up on her. 

You snarl, “Fuck you if you think I’m going anywhere!” 

He doesn’t let up, face carved from stone. “We can’t stay,” he hisses, ducking his head to meet your eye. “You want us all to die?” 

“You go! I’m not—”

“Now, Joel!” Tess is yelling. “Get her the fuck out of here now!”

He swears under his breath again and then his arms are like a vice around your waist, your feet lifting from the floor as he drags you away, kicking and screaming. 

“No!” You’re shrieking now, vocal cords ripping apart as you try to reach for your sister. "Tess!"

But she doesn’t reach back. She turns away, and you know with certainty it’s the last time you’ll see her face. 

“Tess, please!” Sobs erupt from you, and you fight harder now, but Joel is too strong, too broad, too heavy-handed to let you go. “Please! Please! Let me go! Let me stay with her! She's my fucking sister, Joel!” 

The fresh air hits you all at once. One moment you’re there, watching your sister get smaller and smaller as infected scratch and rattle the doors, and then you’re back in the rubble of the drab city, the gold dome of Massachusetts State House dwindling. 

And then exploding.

As your feet finally hit the floor and you try to nudge Joel away, the earth cracks with black smoke and you’re thrown to the ground. Joel’s warmth shields you, and you feel Ellie trembling at your side. 

Silence blankets you like ash. It takes a moment for your brain to comprehend it. Any of it. 

You shove Joel to look back at the State House. The building that is no longer a building, just debris and fire. 

The building where your sister was standing not a moment ago. 

“No.” You say the word differently now. Softer. Devastation pierces through it, through you. She’s gone. Tess is gone. 

“Darlin’...” Joel puts his hand on your shoulder and squeezes, and fury sparks through you. 

“You did this!” you scream, hitting his chest again, and again and again. “You took away my choice!” Because the truth is, you would sooner have died in there with Tess than carry on without her. “You took away my fucking sister!” Because he’d gotten her into the jobs, the smuggling. He’d done all of this. 

Joel doesn’t react, barely even budging as you slam into him. His jaw is set, trembling, throat bobbing, and finally he catches your hands and locks his fingers around your wrists. “Look at me.” 

You can’t. You can’t look at him, or anywhere else. You want to vomit. You want to disappear. 

Instead, your chin wobbles and your ribcage opens up and everything pours out of you as you wail. 

He catches you as you sink to the ground, pulling you to his chest, and you’re too weak to push him away now. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair, rocking you gently. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, sweetheart. There was nothing else we could do. Nothing else I could do. But look at me. Please look at me.” He grips your jaw just as Tess had, and you flinch. You hate him. You fist his shirt between your fingers and you want to destroy it, destroy everything around him. 

Except you don’t. He’s all you have left, and the realisation makes you numb. Joel fucking Miller is the only goddamn person you have. 

You do as he asks. You look at him. 

“She bought us time," he says. "We can’t waste it now. Do you understand? We can grieve her later, but right now, we gotta go. We have to get up and keep going. For Tess.”

You hate that he’s right most of all. As you begin to shut down, shock taking over, you look back at the smoking State House and stand. And then you clutch Joel’s collar and bare your teeth. 

Ellie stumbles towards you, eyes round with fear, but you’ve lost the will to care about her presence. You’ve lost everything today.

“Don’t you fucking say her name again,” you snap. “You lost that right. I blame you. I blame you for who she became, who we’ve all become.”

Anguish curls across Joel’s features, but you refuse to feel guilty. You let him go roughly and grab your backpack off the floor, the same one you’d clutched during the outbreak just after you’d watched your parents get savaged by your infected neighbours, Tess dragging you to safety. You’d been thirteen years old, and your sister had gotten you through hell and back, that night and every other one that came after. 

“It shouldn’t have ended like this,” you whisper into the wind, swallowing your own tears. 

It’s the last moment you allow yourself to have, and then you wipe your damp cheeks and glare down at Joel again. 

“Get up. Let’s go.”

He does, looking winded as he rises from his knees to his feet. You allow him to lead the way only because he knows the city, knows his way around, far better than you did. Tess rarely let you do jobs out of the QZ, protective until the bitter fucking end. 

You wish more than anything you could have protected her. 

***

You don’t get the chance to catch your breath again until you get to Bill and Frank’s — which is empty. You never met them yourself, but you know Tess warmed to them, so to find them dead too… it feels like the last piece of good in the world is truly gone. You slump onto their couch still wrapped in numbness as Joel and Ellie gather supplies, reluctant to so much as look at you. Later, you hear them talking about showering, and Ellie thumps up the stairs, leaving the place quiet. You should wash, too. You should eat, drink, prepare for whatever comes next, but you can’t move. Can’t do anything. 

After minutes, or perhaps hours, of silence, Joel kneels in front of you with a plate of food. “You need to eat, darlin'. I know it’s hard, but you have to.”

You hate him calling you that. He never used to call you that. He barely addressed you at all, stubborn, grumpy old man he is. But he’s been family for a long time, and the three of you… 

You got by together. Until now. 

You glance down at the food and your stomach turns. 

“Please,” he whispers, voice cracking. It surprises you, that vulnerability bleeding into his words — and it seems to surprise him too, by the look on his face. You’ve never seen him like this. Not once. 

You take a bite for that alone. It’s dry in your mouth, and you find it hard to swallow, so you push the rest away. He sighs and puts it down on the coffee table, swapping the plate for his flask. You take a swig, whiskey burning like vinegar in your throat. 

“If I talk,” he asks, “will you listen?”

“No,” you answer honestly. “No, I don’t feel much like listenin’, Joel.”

Still, he takes your hand. You glare at your intertwined fingers but make no move to pull away. Perhaps part of you still needs to be coddled, taken care of the way Tess might have.

And maybe you need to know you’re not alone. That he isn’t going to give up on you the way he so easily did with Tess. Which is sick, you know, but you’ve never much been able to help the way you feel about him. The way you have always wanted to peel away his layers and understand him. Tear away his self-hatred, guilt, grief, for whatever horrors he faced before. 

“I didn’t want this. Not for Tess and sure as hell not for you.”

“I told you,” you bit. “I told you not to say her name.”

“I made a promise to her a long time ago.” He continued as though you hadn’t spoken, his brown eyes pleading. “I promised that if something happened to her, I would always protect you. That’s what I did today. I was honouring that promise, and honouring your sister. If you need someone to blame, someone to hate, if that makes it easier, go ahead. But don’t think for a second that this was a choice I wanted to make. I cared about her. I care about you. And even if I have to drag you kickin’ and screamin’, I’m getting you to Wyoming, to Tommy. You and I still have a job to do.” Slowly, as though unsure how you’ll react, he tucks your hair behind your ear. “That kid needs us, but we need her a hell of a lot more if the cure is real. And I… I need you. I need you here with me, safe. I ain’t losing another…”

He bows his head, words thickening.  “I ain’t going back on my promise to Tess, so you can make it difficult as you like. You can never lay your damn eyes on me again. But I’m getting you through this.”

A tear drips down your cheek, your entire body trembling as the sorrow, the grief, finally takes over. 

“Oh, baby,” Joel whispers, voice full of the same loss, the same pain. 

A whimper escapes you as you put your head in your hands. You can’t even hate him now, because you can imagine your martyr of a sister asking Joel to do just that. To protect you above all else. Still, you despise it — despise that your choices were taken away, your voice ignored. 

“I should have been with her,” you say. “She shouldn’t have died alone.”

“She died knowing you were being taken care of.” He squeezes your knee with rough hands. “She died knowing she saved us. It’s the best anyone could’a done. I wish it could have been different.”

“I don’t know how to do this without her,” you admit, because how can you keep it all in? All the love you had for her, all that grief… where will you put it when it’s spilling out of you without warning? 

“That’s something we’ll figure out,” Joel responds. He’s drawing circles into your lower thigh now, the pad of his thumb wearing down your denim jeans slowly. Wearing you down slowly. “You should take a shower then see about finishing your food. That hot water… it’ll help. And I won’t be mad if you use it all before I get my turn.” He offers you a small smile.

But you can’t imagine anything ever helping. You close your eyes, sinking back into the couch. “In a minute. I just need…” You don’t know what you need. If you’re being honest, you need Tess. 

As though knowing it, Joel rises, the couch cushions dipping with his weight beside you. He lets out a soft sigh, fidgeting with his fingers. You feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face. 

A moment later, he’s draping a blanket over you, and your lids flutter open again in confusion. 

“S’okay,” Joel says. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

You don’t need to be told twice. But when you try to nod off, you only see Tess burned on the inside of your eyelids. Her face the last time you saw it. The bite. Her pleas for you to go.

You give up quickly, aware Joel is still beside you, unmoving. It isn’t like him to not be moving. 

Rubbing your face, you sit up, pushing the blanket off. “Joel…”

“Hmm?”

“Blaming you... it doesn't make it fucking easier. I understand why you did what you did, even if I don’t like it. But if you ever take away my choice again… I won’t go on with you. I can’t. I know you and Tess still see me… saw me,” you correct with a wince, “as a kid, but I’m not. Not anymore. And I sure as hell ain’t your responsibility.”

“I don’t see you as a kid,” he says quietly. “And I don’t see you as my responsibility, either. Honestly?” He purses his lips, tapping on the arm of the couch before he continues, “I see you as the only damn thing worth going out of my way to protect. Make of that what you will. Just… don’t expect me to let you die if that’s your choice. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. I won’t apologise for it, either.”

You’re not sure what to say to that; what it means. Why Joel, of all people, is the one to say it. You always thought he and Tess… 

“Why? That promise mean so fucking much?”

“Yeah." He looks at you as though for the first time. "Yeah, it does."

You don’t have the energy to wonder what it means anymore. Instead, you pull yourself up on unsteady feet. Your mind is racing, and that shower is sounding better as reality sets in. Just in time, Ellie returns with damp hair and fresh clothes. She offers a small, reassuring smile, and you ruffle her hair, feeling guilty that a fourteen-year-old was subjected to everything you went through in Boston. Whoever she is, whatever purpose people want her to serve… she’s just a kid, and you couldn’t hold it together for her today. That makes you a shitty chaperone.

“My turn,” you mumble, glancing at Joel a final, wary time before heading upstairs. His expression doesn’t change, but you see something new in it now. Something strange. 

Something that looks an awful lot like care.

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐝!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

part one: i think i’m finally clean || part two: HERE

summary_ after a failed desperate attempt from Joel to get you back, you go missing while doing patrol, which leads to the Millers having to go and find you.

warnings_ age gap! (not specified tho), angst, fluff, ANGST, emotionally constipated Joel!, lots of apologies, mostly Joel’s POV

notes_this was supposed to be 1989 related like part one but I love Suki’s new album so much and it’s so Joel Miller coded, Legendary is all I played while creating this.

✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚)

♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙋𝙚𝙙𝙧𝙤 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀

…

How could there be a disco ball in the room? Who found it? And where?

You weren’t expecting much from the Halloween party in Jackson to be honest. But turned out to be full of people with mid-costumes made by the first thing they could come up with. At a long table, you could spot a jar of fruit punch, some simple pastries, and snacks.

Some music was playing as many couples danced on the improvised dance floor. You only stared as you drank some alcohol your friend Lia sneaked in.

“Hey, love your outfit,” Sally says, a friend of yours who also worked in the gardening business of Jackson with you.

“Thanks, Sally. I also love yours” She has a crimson dress with her old usual boots and some fake blood everywhere, made with berries and pomegranate juice. You know because you helped her out with that.

“It’s been ages since I saw so many people gathered. Not even on Christmas” You nod, although you hadn’t lived in Jackson long enough like her.

“I guess Halloween really is that time of the year” she laughs and offers you a gentle smile.

“Hey… I’ve heard Joel has been trying to talk to you”

“I’m not in the mood to handle him or his bratty little girl right now…” Sally laughs even harder at your words. But you’re being serious. For a whole night, you don’t want to think about Joel and Ellie. They are around, you saw once the man talking with Tommy, helping him to drag some trash cans. The girl on the other hand was barely talking with a girl who looked around her age.

“Perhaps… but it’s so hot of him to keep trying with you,” she says and you scoff shrugging.

“You made it sound like he wants to seduce me”

“He may be…”

“No. Oh my God, no, Sally.” You say crossing your arms. Completely missing the pair of eyes that were fixated on you.

“You spent months with him and Ellie in the wild. I swore you were a family when you arrived here the first time”

“I used to think we were a family too. But that’s long forgotten. I’m good right now. Without them…”

Sally doesn’t push it anymore. But she thinks you’re trying to ignore your emotions. And she can’t judge you, she saw how Joel treated you the day of the vegetables.

“Let’s just forget about it, I’m in the mood to dance.” You add, dragging her and improvising some lame dancing along the 90s music playing.

…

Your vision is spinning. The lights that made the party feel like a real disco now seem to be violent faded dots. But you don’t feel sick, you feel light.

It’s nearly past midnight. And there’s still a lot of people in the party. All of the kids of Jackson have been long ago finished with the trick or treating. Sally found a guy to spend the night with and you told her to enjoy but also be careful.

And so you’re also ready to call it a day. You got dressed for Halloween ever since the outbreak. You witnessed a big party, you kissed two guys for fun and you were drunk as hell.

You couldn’t recall another day as happy as that Halloween.

When you almost trip when going down the stairs of the dining hall, you have to sit on them, laughing.

For some seconds, you can see the blurred image of the bright yellow moon. It’s a cold night, but nothing near freezing.

“…y/n?” You hear a male voice calling you.

It was Joel.

“Not tonight, Joel.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I don’t give a shit, I can stand and make it home,” you say calmly. Although you’re drunk, you still feel very conscious.

“I’m takin’ you home” Joel barely grabs your arms when you squirm away from him, standing up immediately.

“For fucks sake, Joel. I want you away from me. A-W-A-Y… GET AWAY FROM ME!” He was taken aback. And there was nowhere to hide his feelings. Joel had been painfully hurt by your words. Even when he had heard the same hours ago, this time hurt even more.

“All of your friends say you keep avoiding the way you feel. Why can’t you just let me speak then you can ignore me the rest of your life?” He shouldn’t be arguing back when you’re drunk. He really shouldn’t.

“Because I’m not interested in whatever shit you will say. You never gave me the chance to speak back then… Remember?…” you say dragging every word with a vague look that only confirms how drunk you are.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying I’m sorry. To Ellie, to me… you are family.”

Your eyes prickle with tears.

Suddenly you’re sober. Your brain works perfectly fine. So you cry.

Joel sees the first tears rolling down and he sighs. He couldn’t comprehend your side of the story because you were excluding him and Ellie. But he wanted to be in your life again. He was a man who had changed so much after Salt Lake.

Joel was open to being vulnerable, just for you.

His body moves closely, attempting to embrace you in a hug. Or at least touch you.

But you move away.

“I need time…” you say before walking away with weak steps but a confident pace.

You don’t dare to look back. The way home is more quiet than silence itself. You block every thought regarding Joel while you wash your hair in the shower. And you are even scared to think about it as you light the candle on your nightstand.

…

Two weeks without any contact with the little Miller family pass by. Ellie sees you in the garden and picking vegetables to send to the kitchen and the rest for livestock or as fertilizer. She also saw you once in the dining hall with your friends laughing and gossiping. And the young girl couldn’t help but think she hadn’t seen you laugh like that. Not ever since you and Joel used to mess with Ellie about the dirty tee shirt she always wore.

Joel goes to your house one night and spots you outside, taking care of your plants, humming some songs, and wearing pajamas. He stood there in the shadows like a creep for more minutes. He looked carefully at how you sat on a patio couch you had near your door and got into the book you pulled out.

Joel reminisced the night Ellie and he had a hateful dinner. They recalled the moment they met you some miles away from Boston. And by the end of the memory, when you told them you were staying in Jackson instead of going with them to the Fireflies in Salt Lake, Ellie snapped. The girl and Joel briefly argued, blaming each other for treating you so bad. But soon Ellie made Joel say three precious words.

He loved you.

And seeing you alone, in your home, almost a year after taking separate ways, only made Joel desperate to feel worthy of your affection.

…

The Miller brothers carried heavy piles of carved wood for a new library the men had built during the summer. Joel and Tommy never lost their contractor’s touch. They beautifully worked so well that ended up giving advice to the younger ones. It was a normal day. That morning a group left to patrol as usual. Others prepared the food of the day. Others refurbished the town. The kids went to school. Everything was normal. Joel was pulling splinters out of his left hand, ready to go home. Ellie discovered the new guitar Joel got, so she seemed curious about the instrument.

His home smelled like cedar and burnt wood. Joel rolled his eyes, watching how Ellie forgot to wash the dishes again. But he was tired, he went straight to take a shower and soon landed on his couch. His muscles relaxed and he closed his eyes for a minute.

Which turned into two hours.

“JOEL!” Ellie yells on his face, waking him up.

“What the fuck, kid?”

“Tommy is here, y/n didn’t come back with her patrol group.” His eyes opened wide as soon as he heard the girl.

“What?”

“She’s missing…” Ellie sounded scared, even anxious. Joel immediately got the chills. He sighed and quickly stood up, ignoring the way his back cracked.

In the kitchen, Tommy sat, looking stressed out.

“What happened?” Joel crosses his arms, already losing his patience.

“Patrol was coming back when some raiders attacked them. It was y/n who gained time for the group, and said she would follow soon, but she didn’t” Joel sighed once again.

“How long ago?” Ellie asked timidly.

“Almost three hours ago…” Joel huffs. Angered at his brother, he gave the table a slight slap.

“Why you didn’t tell me sooner?” Tommy tried to calm him down. The whole reason why he avoided his older brother was because he would get stressed. He had hoped that the other groups that went out to find you would come back with great news.

“The group is almost back but now news so far…”

“I’ll go to find her…”

“I said we’ve already sent people around the area…” Tommy says, but Joel rolls his eyes, putting on his boots. Unbeknownst to Tommy, his last resource was Joel. And deep down, he disapproved of the age gap between you two, but he wanted nothing but your happiness and Joel’s.

“Tommy. I’ll go find her.”

“I’m coming too” Ellie quickly says.

“No. You stay here.”

“Joel. I won’t be able to sleep knowing you could be out there alone. Even worse if she’s hurt or…”

“Don’t say it…” Tommy pleads with the girl, so she nods.

Joel’s heart pounds in his ribcage. He is scared, to be honest. And he wants nothing but to grow wings so he can quickly find you.

“Is there any place you haven’t checked?” Joel asks, putting on his jacket. Ellie opens the closet near the entrance and grabs her and Joel’s emergency backpacks.

“There’s a cabin only Maria, the meds, and council know about…” Tommy reveals.

“And y/n too…”

“Yes, Ellie. It’s only for emergencies, hidden near a cliff, where the bushes grow wilder and perfect to disguise raiders and infected.”

“Where is the cabin exactly?” loading his rifle and grabbing more bullets, Joel asks to his brother.

“About an hour away from here. If you go now, you’ll make it before the night falls. I’ll check it in a map…” the man grabs the paper from his pocket, marking a red circle around the green area.

“There’s a lot of apple trees near the area. We collect from there every fall, once you start seeing rotten apples in the way, you’ll know you’re very close” Tommy says.

“Remember. We have a periwinkle ribbon hidden in the bushes. That’s the entrance. Be careful, Joel. And good luck, to the three of you…”

At that moment, Joel realized he would find you in a bad position or a terrible one he didn’t even want to imagine it.

But he was full of fate.

“She’s alive. Right, Joel?” Ellie asks once the gates of Jackson opened and the pair left in two horses.

“Of course she’s alive…” he confidently replies. But the pounding of his heart made him conscious of the anxiety he was feeling.

…

The woods howl with every sound of the wind pushing dry leaves around. So far Joel hadn’t used a single bullet. The way was clear. Only the fainted sounds of the waterfalls and the eco of the cliffs.

There were indeed a lot of apple trees. With the sun almost gone, the burgundy spheres hanging from the trees looked even more majestic.

“I guess we’re here…” Joel announced, putting his feet on the ground.

“Look for the periwinkle ribbon, Joel” the man nodded.

Sneaking his hands through the bushes, he could feel some thorns. At first glance, those bushes looked very intimidating. As if poison would suddenly leak from their tiny white flowers.

“Found it!” Joel didn’t get it, but when he tried to pull the ribbon, he lifted a whole branch attached to it.

“Holy shit!” Ellie gasped surprised to see that the bushes were actually very light.

“The horses can make it inside too. You go first…” Ellie nods, taking the lead.

Then followed Joel, leading his horse inside the property and then making sure the ribbon was completely hidden.

The Cabin was small, rustic, and surrounded by the same bushes and big rocks. It was strategically positioned where the pines and apple trees could disguise it.

“She’s here. Look…” Ellie says, pointing at your backpack and a rifle thrown on the stairs of the cabin.

“Stay back…” he indicated, firmly holding his rifle in case of anything.

Both went up the stairs and were notified the door was barely closed as if they had been in a rush. Joel opened the door slowly and when the view was granted, he saw you on the floor pointing at him with a small pistol.

“It’s okay, it’s just me and Ellie,” he said dropping and rifle and literally running towards you.

“Joel?” You ask looking at his barely distinguishable silhouette.

“I told you once. Don’t go where I can’t follow, darlin’…” he says, but you can’t hear him.

Ellie finally saw you and noticed you were sweating so much, panting for air. The skin of your neck looked between pink and lilac. For some seconds, she thought you had been bitten.

“You can’t breathe,” Joel noticed when you literally dropped your head against the wooden floor.

“J-Joel… My- ribs. It hurts…” you barely spoke and tears streamed down your cheeks. Your hand grasped his and didn’t want to let go.

“Shh… we’re here. I’m gonna take care of you”

Respectfully, Joel tore your long-sleeved top. You had a silk bra that looked very vintage but that wasn’t capturing all of Joel’s attention.

You had indeed swollen ribs. Your right side looked awful in comparison to the left one. There was also a small cut in your shoulder, but your ribs were painted in shades of red, purple, and blue.

The man turned to see the girl standing at the door. Ellie couldn’t hide it, she seemed scared, her eyes slightly teary.

“No tears, she’s gonna be okay. Now help me with the remedies and medicine we have” she nodded.

By the time Joel had finished putting ointments and giving a local spraying of anesthesia, you had completely fallen asleep. Ellie helped him to put a bandage around your ribs and the man carried you to a room that had a bed.

Joel took a brief glance at you and sighed in relief. You were alive, and your chances of survival were big. He just had to take care of you. Like he should have since the first time.

…

You wake up violently, quickly trying to sit down because you can’t remember anything. Your last memory was the raiders shooting and hitting you with his rifle, throwing you off of your horse.

“Hey, easy there!” you immediately stop, encountering Ellie beside you.

One thing was for sure; you felt amazing compared to the day before.

“What are you doing here?” She sighed.

“Patrol came back and you were missing. Since nobody could find you, Tommy suspected you were here. So Joel and I came…” your eyes closed in embarrassment. Blurred memories of them stepping inside the cabin, you pointing at them, telling Joel how bad you were in pain, and Ellie helping him to bandage you.

“Thank you.” She nods, but her lips get sealed, like she wants to say more but she’s unsure.

“I’m sorry.”

“You were the closest thing I had like family and Joel and I fucked up everything,” Ellie says looking away.

“When we’re grieving the past, we get so scared to mess up our present. Which makes us mad and terrified.” You tell her with a little smile.

And you also talk to yourself, because you were so hurt by how they treated you that it made you feel scared of getting hurt again by them.

“Joel said you needed time. But do you think you already have an answer about us being friends ever again?”

You can’t make a teenager beg for your forgiveness. Every single person you know has suffered. All have sacrificed something. And you didn’t want to grow old alone.

“Come here…” you tell her and in less than a second you have Ellie hugging you tightly.

“Wait… my ribs” she breaks off the contact, looking scared.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I-“

“Ellie, it’s okay…” you smile at her and she reciprocates it.

“Where’s Joel?”

“Patrolling around. She already signaled to Tommy we were fine. He also went to get something to eat. There’s nothing of food besides the bread and water we brought.”

“Oh…”

“Joel can be an asshole. After all, we both know him so well. But… give him a chance, please” Your smile grows. It makes you blush because Ellie sounds like she’s implying Joel had feelings for you.

Ever since you met him, you developed a crush on him. But he was a grumpy old man, he never showed any sign of romantic attraction towards you.

“I could give him a chance, but I think everyone has misinterpreted the way he feels for me,” you say, remembering how Sally implied the same time during the Halloween party.

“You know how Tommy looks at Maria?” You nod at her.

“That’s the same way Joel looks at you. And I’ve never experienced it, but I know that must be love”

Was the girl in the correct?

…

It’s already late when the need to get out of bed gets stronger. You took a very careful shower, and with every droplet of cold water that washed you, you also repeated every word Ellie said. You could easily admit you loved Joel. Even after everything. Because was there in the harder days out in the wild. You were a stranger he also carried wherever he was going. And always reminded you how strong you were.

“Ellie!” The girl appeared with her hair also wet.

“Can you help me go downstairs?. I want to help you with dinner” you said.

Ellie carefully grabbed your hands to help you stand from the bed. As soon as she opened the door, the smell of apples and cinnamon hit you.

“What are you cooking?” You asked her.

“Just apples with honey and cinnamon…”

“Smells really good, Ellie” she thanks you, paying extra attention as you walk down the stairs.

Just when you make it safely. The front door opened. Joel came in with a dead rabbit in his hands.

“You’re awake…” he said surprised.

“I am…” you reply feeling your face burn in red.

“How are you feeling?” He asks scratching the back of his head.

“Better. Thanks to both of you”

“It’s nothing”

Ellie can’t stop looking between you and the man. She has a little dorky smile and her heart beats in hopes you two can solve your problems.

“Can I skin that rabbit?” You ask him shyly. He looks down at the rabbit and then back at you.

“Let me do that. But if you feel okay, you can cook it” You nod, offering him a brief smile that takes him aback.

“Okay. I’ll wait for Ellie in the kitchen.”

Joel is shocked. Ellie has to go and pinch his ribs to take him down to earth again.

“Don’t mess it up.” She says.

“What?”

“I think we’re okay now. Talk to her tonight, please” he sighs but nods.

“Joel?” The girl asks.

“Hmm?”

“I think y/n feels the same way about you. But she doesn’t think you do.”

His heart beats softly but hurriedly. Joel has to hide his smile as Ellie walks away into the kitchen.

…

Dinner was quiet. Some words were exchanged. Mainly about your accident. You explained how the raiders ambushed you and your group. After gaining time for your partners to leave, there was nobody left to save you. A man hit your head with his rifle, then your ribs. You fell from your horse and barely noticed when the raiders left. Your body dragged itself towards the cabin, where all of your energy disappeared and your Brian processed the pain.

Thankfully, you had two saviors. Joel and Ellie appeared and saved your life.

The plan was to go back to Jackson the following morning. You agreed as long as your health lets you. Ellie helped you go upstairs again as Joel cleaned the dishes. You said good night to the girl and went to brush your teeth. By fortune, you always carried first necessity items in your backpack.

There is no electricity in the upper rooms. But there are tons of bottles of wine, soda, and old glasses with half-melted candles. It made it a little harder while showering. But after feeling clean, relaxed, and lonely, it brings a sense of peacefulness.

In the mirror, you encounter a woman whose body is tired but her mind is starting to feel at peace. You have decided that if Joel came knocking at the door, you would let the past go and you would focus on the present.

But your hopes die a little when an hour passes and you are still alone in the room.

And just when you’re about to give up, you hear it.

A knock on your door.

You encounter Joel with the same clothes he arrived with. However, his hair is slicked back and wet from the shower he took. You remain silent as he stares closely at you.

“Can we talk?” The man asks.

“Okay…”

You let him step inside. Joel sits on the little couch that faces the bed, and both of you stare in silence. There’s a distant howling from coyotes or jackals near the area. But then, you only pay attention to Joel. He continuously moved his hands and tried to speak up but couldn’t.

“Ellie said you and her are okay,” he says and you nod, avoiding his gaze. You hear him sigh.

“If I had accepted sooner how important you are to me, I would’ve given you the whole night to tell me why you couldn’t come with Ellie and me to Salt Lake” he starts, bringing you back to the night where the doctor of Jackson told you your body was full of anemia. That if you went out to the wild again, you’d likely suffer a breakdown.

“I would’ve understood, I would’ve told you I’d be back. But I didn’t because… I guess I got scared, I was convinced you were abandoning Ellie. But mostly me… I got used to having you in my life. And thought you wanted to take separate ways as soon as you discovered you could have a better life in Jackson”

“I started to feel dizzy that day. If I hadn’t felt anything, I wouldn’t visited the doctor and I would have gone with you and Ellie” you admit looking at the melting candles.

Joel feels a little worse. But it only makes him even more eager to stand up and walk towards you.

You witness how he goes down to his knees with difficulty, knowing his bones are tired. It takes you aback when he grabs your hands and gives you the softest look.

“I’m sorry. For everything. When I saw you were back, so full of life and willing to keep explaining to us what happened, I kept acting like an asshole. That’s not what a man does to the woman he’s in love with…”

You quickly look at his eyes again, trying to see if what he said was true or not. He briefly smiled, tender to see the way you reacted.

“I probably won’t stop saying I’m sorry until I have you by my side every morning and every night. ‘Cause if want thing has thought me, Ellie, is that I have to express my feelings. So I’ll do it, I’m in love with you and I’m sorry”

You are near tears when he says that, Joel only squeezes your hands softly, but you break the contact only to pull him towards you in a big hug.

“The moment I saw you came with Ellie through the door of this cabin, I knew I didn’t want to lose my little family. I’ve been trying to be strong but the truth is that I need you, Joel” his cheek touches yours and you feel the warmth of his skin. Any trace of uncertainty is gone. Only he could have taken and brought back your happiness.

“I need you too, darlin’”

He kisses you, so soft, so simple. You barely pay attention to the rain that suddenly started pouring. Joel slowly stands up and you lean back on the bed. His kisses were addicting even when you just met them seconds ago. But you take the lead by moving your lips down south, marking traces on his chin, towards his jaw. It is there when Joel lets out the first moan. But he suddenly stops

“Wait, y/n, I don’t want to hurt you. Your ribs aren’t completely healed. And-“

“Joel… If I kept going, it’s because I can. And because I want to…” you say before capturing his lips in another kiss.

“Is Ellie asleep?” You add. Joel chuckles.

“You know she snores loudly. Listen…” Both of you remain quiet and the distant snores of the girl can be heard, which makes you giggle.

First, he undresses you and makes sure to heavenly explore your most intimate areas with his tongue. Then he takes off his clothes and worships your body in the most perfect way he could possibly do it.

“I love you, Joel” it spills out of your lips with honesty. Between thrusts and gasps for air, he makes time to answer you.

“I love you too.”

For the rest of the night, his hands are in your body. And until the morning, remain there…

….

The rays of the sun wake you up by directly targeting your eyes. But when you open them, they’re gone. Is a cloudy morning, and there’s a big pair of warm hands securely around your stomach.

The need to stretch is suddenly gone when you remember what happened last night. How good Joel made it clear you were the woman he wanted, his caresses, kisses, and everything. You can’t help but smile and snuggle closer to him.

“Mornin’…” Joel says with a raspy voice, without you noticing he had woken up.

“Hey…” you reply deciding to face him.

It feels odd to see an unworried Joel after months of being witness to his sleep deprivation, his inability to eat because he preferred to make sure you and Ellie did first, etc.

“Is there anything on my face? Or what’s with the starin’, sweetheart?” Your face goes hot, but there is no point in hiding your thoughts.

“I just… I never thought we would end up in this position. We were practically strangers once…”

“You said it, y/n. Once…” he replies, pulling you closer.

“I guess I’m just not used to this side of you…” Joel smirks, then chuckles. To be fair, he isn’t used to seeing you in such an intimate way. He knows there are many things left to learn from each other, but he knows nothing will change the way he feels.

“Look, after saying out loud how I feel about you… there’s nothin’ else to run away from, baby. I’m an old man who’s tired but feels like a teenager when it comes to you” Your heart melts from tenderness. You can’t help but kiss his chin.

“I’ll make sure to take care of you. There’s literally a whole life waiting for you, Joel. You’re not that old, dear” he smiles, nodding before resting one arm behind his head and the other snaking around you.

“Are we gonna tell Ellie?” You add, stretching on the bed.

“Let’s be real, she already knew before us.” Both of you laugh, smiling at each other like two idiots. The girl had constantly shared silly comments about you two being too close while dinner in the middle of nowhere, or how needy Joel looked about asking you to share a sleeping bag with him.

“She seemed excited about us talking…” Joel nods, sitting on the bed, stretching and making his bones crack a little.

“Glad we did more than talk” you gently push the man, making him chuckle a little.

“We should start heading towards Jackson by now…” you say looking that the sun was coming out again.

“Right. But… let’s say it one more time, please. So it’s… officially real” There was the insecure man you knew.

A little smile perks in your mouth as you crawl back towards him.

“We’re together now, wherever the tides take us…” he kisses you abruptly.

It was real. Coming back to Jackson meant closing a chapter, and starting a new one. And both of you knew it was going to be happier. And possibly… forever.

_______________________________________

Thank u to all the humans that waited almost A YEAR for this second part :)

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[rkivees]

Seo Hyesook, Cristina Yang, Ellis Grey and the pressure placed by society on women to become mothers

In last week's episode, Love Next Door brought a serious discussion to the forefront of the drama. In a society where women are increasingly pressured to have children due to South Korea having the lowest birth rate in the world, giving a character the space to be honest about how she feels about her place in marriage, motherhood and society was a bold and much appreciated choice so I wanted to talk a bit about it.

Does she love her husband and her son? Yes, not only does she say this in this scene, but she also says it in future scenes, but none of this makes her pain any less real or any less valid. She resented her husband, her marriage life and her son all the same because she was happy as a Diplomat and she wanted to keep that life but now she is a mother and the world is not kind to working mothers. There was this kdrama once who had doctors multiple times say they didn't like hiring women because they soon get married and become mothers and rarely come back to work. I wonder why. Even if you wanted to go back, would you go back to a hostile environment?

Women are told from an early age that they should find a good man, get married and have children. This is their role in society and if they dare to try to break out of it, they are judged and shamed.

That's why this scene made me think so much about Cristina and Ellis, two equally strong and talented characters who are faced with the decision of whether or not to have children. Cristina finishes her act in the show by not having any and she states that she doesn't hate kids, she respects them and wishes them to have parents that want them. She loves her career more and she feels complete like that.

Ellis, on the other hand, had not only one, but two daughters. One was lucky enough to have an adopted family that loved her very much. And then we have Meredith, who was well aware she was not wanted. Below we have a quote of her coming forward in Cristina's defense.

Do you know what will happen to Cristina if she has a kid that she doesn't want? It will almost kill her. Trying to pretend that she loves a kid as much as she loves surgery will almost kill her, and it'll almost kill your kid. Do you know what it's like to be raised by someone who didn't want you? I do. To know you stood in the way of your mother's career? I do. I was raised by a Cristina. My mother was a Cristina. And as the child she didn't want, I am telling you, don't do this to her because she's kind and she cares and she won't make it. The guilt of resenting her own kid will eat her alive.

We get to see Cristina's future if she had children and it's much like Seo Hyesook. They try to overcompensate (they love their kid after all) that resentment while being eaten alive by it or we get women like Ellis, a woman unhappy in her motherhood, that traumatized her daughter to a point she didn't want to be alive.

Ellis never tried to hide her unhappiness and I am not, of course, exempting her for the bad mother she was but I want you to understand that if she wasn't put in this position to begin with, we would not have a traumatized child. Society cannot be absolved of the blame for creating unfit mothers that didn't want to be mothers and children who suffer from that unfitness.

I think it's a discussion that needs to be had, especially since we're going through a time worldwide where women are losing their right to choose and we get told more and more that there's a certain place for us, barefoot in the kitchen tending to our husbands and children.

We have to talk about it, about our choices or the lack of and how our place is wherever we want to be so we won't end up in a position where we resent our lives.

[justmeinadaze]

My Little Man Part 2 (Steddie X You)(Part of the HFOD and SS AU)

A/N: Took awhile to get through this because it made me feel things lol but I'm excited for the next chapter because I know what I want to do smut wise which will involve some slight role-play. ;).

Warning: Demon Steddie/ Human Fem Y/N, Smut but light, dirty talk, FLUFF, they love each other and their son. ANGST ABOUND!

Fall out from the last chapter, boys fight about it, Y/N suggests they go back to a certain realm to deal with certain things, details of both demons abuse is expanded on including Eddie's dad being physically violent and Steve's father being verbally a dick (so child abuse trigger for sure), Mentions of sick parents (I never gave either of her parents a diagnoses nor did I give them specific systems that allude to anything), mentions of talking care of a sick parent. I think that's it.

Word Count: 5131

First 2 Series and Last Chapter Here/ Donate to Me :)

Eddie growls as you fall through the portal, swatting away the other demon’s hands as he bends down to try and help you to your feet. 

“Where are we?”

“Oblivion.”, Steve whispers as he backs away from you both. 

“Why would a realm like this even exist?”

“It’s not uncommon to have ‘dead’ realms. This one is just most known because of its strength.”

“Strength?”

“If all realms collapsed, this is the only one that would remain standing.”

You jumped at the sound of Eddie’s wings expanding as he flew forward and tackled Steve off his feet, watching as they rolled onto the floor and began to wrestle. Neither demon said a thing as they delivered blow after blow occasionally flying over your head before falling to the ground. 

After a while, you found yourself getting annoyed as nothing was progressing. You understand this may be how they handled things back home but even you knew Eddie was so angry that this wouldn’t be enough for him. 

“Is this what you two are going to do the whole time?!”, you shouted in the air towards them. “Or are you going to actually talk to each other!?!”

Steve hit the ground by your feet rolling to a stop as the other demon glided to the ground charging towards him. Placing yourself between them, you blocked his path. 

“You were supposed to stay behind.”

“Why? So you guys could handle this alone?! I’m not mad at him for what he did in his dream. Why are you?!”

Eddie grunted in fury as his eyes glowed while you spoke. 

“HE didn’t know it was a dream! HE thought it was real and that’s how he acted!! He let his father get the fucking best of him and then tried to FUCKING KILL ME before stabbing you which I haven’t forgotten, Y/N. What the fuck were YOU thinking?!”

“I was thinking you needed me and he would fucking die if anything ever happened to you! You aren’t just his partner, Edward. You’re his best friend! You’ve known him for over 4,000 years! You’ve known me for about a year and a half. It’s not the same…”

“What?! So, you’re fucking expendable?! Is that what you’re telling me right now, Y/N?! Then why the fuck did we risk our lives and sanity to get you that fucking potion?!”

“Calm down, Eddie.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, little girl.”

You both stared each other down as Steve slowly rose to his feet and placed himself in front of you.

“Go ahead.”, he panted. “Let’s keep going. Please.” The other demon glances him over growling again as he places his hands on his hips and turns away. “No! You’re right. I deserve it. I fucked up. I was blinded with trying to find Ellis, I wasn’t thinking.”

He started to cry and your heart broke as he continued to try to get Eddie to fight him. 

“Come on, baby, PLEASE! Do it!”, Steve shouted as he shoved him trying to instigate. “Come on! I deserve it! Like Mirage said, I wasn’t raised to do anything else but fight! This was bound to happen. I was bound to fucking hurt one of you!”

“Fuck me! I’m so FUCKING TIRED of hearing her fucking name! She’s gone, Steven! Mirage isn’t here. She’s fucking miserable in her own realm! Now can we let that be a part of our past and move on!”

“It’s not just her, Edward! This is all I know. Fighting and war. How am I supposed to be a father and fucking husband without becoming my dad!”

“Boyfriend.”

“What?”

“You said husband. Even though I’d marry you both in a heartbeat…we’re not.”, you sigh. 

Both men exhale heavily while Eddie crosses his arms. 

“By your logic, Steve, that means I can’t be a father or partner without becoming MY dad.”

Growling yourself, you step forward and punch them both in their arms. 

“That’s it! Steven, take us back to Espejismo.”

“What, why?”

“Don’t argue just fucking do it!”

“Wh-what about Ellis?”

“He’s asleep and he won’t be hungry for another four hours. Now, take us to Mirage.”

“Y/N, you’re in your pajamas—”

Your angry eyes cut him off as he hastily steps forward and does what you command. 

##############

As soon as you three step through, you are met with sunshine and people walking around the market you had appeared in. 

“Hey there, Y/N.”, a little girl grins up at you. “It’s nice to see you again. No one ever comes back to visit me.”

“Hm. I wonder why. Cut the bullshit. We need to talk.”

The world around you abruptly disappears as Mirage comes forward and scans you over with her hazel eyes. 

“That’s not usually something I do, baby. You three passed your test but I’m not going to lie after what I’m seeing I’m second guessing my choice. I was under the impression that you were stronger than the woman you used to be.”

“I am.”

“Then why are you here? Edward is right. Steven thought it was a reality and killed you.”

“If you can see what happened you should also be able to see part of that is because of what you put them through. We still have nightmares about what we saw. They deserve to see… see what the other is afraid of.”

Mirage thinks for a moment as he eyes glance towards them and back to you. 

“Tell them the truth and I’ll do what you ask.”

Turning to face them, their worried eyes meet yours. 

“I forgot we were in a dream. Like Steven, in that moment, I thought it was real. If it had been…I would have made the same choice. Out of the four of us, yes Edward, I feel like I’m the most expendable.”

Their eyes glow in anger as you swivel back towards the other woman who nods her head and gestures at the door to your side. 

“You can see things but like with what you saw with their memories you can’t interact.”

“Thank you.”, you mumble as you push through and they follow.

#################

“Fantastic. Back in this fucking hell hole. I’m really glad we came back to this realm, guys.”, Eddie growls sarcastically as you three find yourselves in his childhood home. 

“What’s your plan, Y/N? Why did you want to show us this?”, Steve asks.

“Not him. You.”

The sound of small sniffles catches the demon’s attention as he heads towards the sound, sighing at the sight of a child Eddie sitting on his bed with tears in his eyes as he stares at a photo of him and his mother. 

“EDWARD?!”

Quickly the tiny demon shoves the picture under his bed and rises to his feet.

 Steve is just now realizing he’s in a suit and so is his father as he stomps into the room. 

“What are you doing in here?!”

“Leave the boy alone, Allen. He just lost his mother.”, Wayne pleads, trying to intervene without making things worse. 

“Yeah. Now he doesn’t have someone here to fucking baby him. Come on, you little brat.”

As his dad pushes him down the hall, Steve tries to follow but is cut off by an older Eddie who tries to head for the door but is stopped when a glass bottle is thrown against the wall near his body.

“Wow, you missed. Were you aiming for me?”

“Always so fucking mouthy. Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Wayne’s. Is that a problem?”

“Hm. So he can show you another stupid fucking guitar? Pfft, I never understood why your mom was into that.”

“Well, mom was into a lot of things I don’t understand.”, he said sarcastically as he sized his father up. 

A slow chuckle left him before his father swung and Eddie hit the floor. 

Steve stepped forward with a loud growl prepared to defend the man he loved but the images in front of him vanished until he heard coughing and turned to find him bloodied on the floor. He watched as Allen stepped over him, grabbing his jacket, and leaving the house without so much as a goodbye. 

Eddie panted as he pushed himself up and leaned against the wall, spitting blood towards the door his father left through. 

The demon wanted to hold him, collect him in his arms and tell him everything would be ok, but all he could do was look as the vision of the other demon dried the tears that threatened to fall and forced himself to his feet.

“T-That’s who you’re afraid you’re going to become? You genuinely believe you could do something like THIS to us or our son?”

Eddie’s jaw tightened as he ignored Steve’s question, choosing to exit through the front door hoping it would take him anywhere else. To his surprise, it does. 

As you and Steve follow, the long-haired demon realizes you guys are back in the other demon’s childhood home. The sound of metal clanking caught everyone’s attention until you found yourselves in what must have been a training room on the other side of his home. 

Steve looked like he was in his early teens dressed in ill-fitting armor as his father came at him with full force, swinging his sword violently in his direction. 

“Come. On. STEVEN! What did I say?! No one is going to go easy on you out in the field. Do you want to die?!”

“NO! I’m just exhausted. Can we take a break?”

“Do you think there are breaks in war, son?! No!” 

The young demon hastily blocked his father’s sword as it came down from above and they maneuvered across the room. His feet suddenly gave out as he fell to the ground and even Eddie rushed towards him to stop the blade as it hit the floor just inches from Steve’s face.

“Congratulations, you are now dead. You failed me, your men, and broke your mother’s heart. Your wife is somewhere crying and mourning your death and your children will grow up to be just as pathetic as you.”, Bill sighed in annoyance as he tossed his weapon to the ground and exited the room. 

Eddie’s heart broke as he watched an angry Steve tear off pieces of his armor and throw them to the side as he tried to control his tears. 

The setting around you changed as his mother followed after a much older version of his dad. 

“Bill, we have to find him! It’s been over 50 years and I MISS MY SON!”

His father grabbed her wrist and shoved her into a nearby chair. 

“When will you get this through your head? We have no son! The kid we raised killed a fellow solider and deserted with a murderer. Not just any murderer, Janet! Edward Munson slaughtered our princess! Forget about him and move on! He deserves whatever hell he’s enduring.”

Steve’s head hung at his father’s words and you comfortingly reached out to rub his back.

The images around you three faded and you were surrounded by emptiness again. 

“He was so convincing, Edward. In my dreams, he sounds just like that. He said Ellis would die because he hasn’t been trained yet but I have. I have the training to save him.”

“No, Steven, you don’t.”

Even your head tilted at Eddie’s comment before he continued. 

“He was training you to be like him and failed. Thank fucking God. This isn’t you. You told me so many stories but actually seeing it… you have never been capable of being a dick like him. You need to stop letting him win.”

“Me? What about you? You think you could ever do that to Y/N or Ellis? Edward, you literally don’t have it in you. Trust me, that kid is so much like you, full of humor and heart. He could never hurt anyone and neither could you. Not like that. 

You and Mirage grin as they practically run to each other, cupping the other’s face as they kiss.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to be better and stop letting my emotions take over when I’m upset. I promise I’ll stop shutting you two out. I love you both so much.”

“What about you, Y/N?”, Mirage asks. 

“What about me?”

“Oh, ok. So, you aren’t going to tell them why you think you’re the expendable one?” She shakes her head as you ignore her. “You came to me for help, honey, and I’m going to help.”

“No, Mirage, don’t--!” 

The atmosphere shifts and suddenly you’re in a hospital hallway. Your dad cuts between your demon’s and they hastily turn to follow. 

“Hey Jackie. How are things today?”, your father asks the nurse who was watching over an adolescent you as you laid in the hospital bed with your arm wrapped around your mom who was sleeping soundly. 

“She had a rough day today. Of course, she tried to hide it behind jokes and trying to get the staff to stand on their toes but…” They both chuckle softly as she pats your dad’s shoulder. “Y/N fell asleep about an hour ago. She was trying to help her with her math homework but a coughing fit got in the way.”

“Thank you…for everything.”

The images blur till you’re back home and the demons watch as a 16-year-old you sobs on the couch. 

“Baby, everything’s going to be ok.”

“No, dad! No it’s not! How can everything be ok when you’re fucking sick to!?”

Your father wraps his arms around you as he tries to calm you. 

“I’m sure it IS fine. This is just a diagnosis, honey. I’ve been pretty healthy and they have so many treatments available. I’m…I’ll be here for a long time.”

An 18-year-old version of you sits outside your high school against the wall on the last day, flipping through a paper you got an A on. 

“I still think you should submit that to a contest or something.”, your English teacher grins as she comes up to your side and sits beside you.

“Naw. No point really.”

“Why not?”

“I just got hired at the clothing store in the mall. Between that and taking care of my dad, I won’t have time to submit or make any edits. Even if I do win, I can’t go to the award ceremony out of state.”

“So, you’re just not going to be a writer anymore?”

You shrug.

“Life has different plans for me, I guess. It’s fine. I have my dad so…”

“I think your parents would want you to be happy.”

Smiling, you rise to your feet as you grab your bag. 

“Um, thank you for teaching me, Mrs. Garett. I learned a lot from you over these last four years.”

As your image pushes past them, someone follows close behind as the demons realize they’re now outside the mall you used to work at. 

“Fuck you! Don’t fucking touch me!”

“Look, will you wait a second!?”, the boy shouts as he continues to try and buckle his pants. “I’m sorry, ok?! I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“Oh so when WOULD have been the right time to tell me you’re fucking one of my coworkers?! I’m surprised I haven’t caught you yet if your both just being so out in the open with it!”

“So am I since it’s not the first time Carol and I have fucked in the break room!” Steve’s eyes glow in anger as he steps towards you both but Eddie stops him placing a hand on his chest. “You’re never around! You’re always either working crazy hours or…”

“Or what? Taking care of my sick dad? You’re right. I’m such a monster! Fuck me.”

The boy sighs, placing his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, babe. I just—”

“Just go. Just fucking leave…like everyone else.”, your voice cracks as you turn away from him. 

As the sound of his shoes gradually disappear, you let out a loud scream into the Hawkins night sky before wiping away your tears, straightening your uniform, and heading back into the mall to finish your shift. 

Everything falls away as they turn to meet your frustrated face as you tightly fold your arms around your body. 

“Tell them.”, Mirage encourages.

“Fuck you.”

“Tell us, Y/N.”, Eddie insists.

You shrug as the tears start to flow. 

“You saw it. Both your dads were fuckers who hurt you both. Edward, you lost your mom and Chrissy. Steven, I felt how bad Nancy hurt you. Then you were so terrified something happened to Eddie and it killed you because you felt like now with the princess gone you were losing all your friends. You kept an extra close eye on Robin until you got a lead and went with Jason to find him. You both were banished and then cursed to that stupid fucking stone for…3000…years…”

“My dad lost the woman he loved. He always said he was fine and that she gave him ‘the best gift’ he could ask for but I saw it. I saw how much it destroyed him. And how was he repaid for his pain?! He got sick to. You both deserve to be happy. You were together and in love way before you ever met me. You deserve to be together in peace and be the fathers you never got.”

Both demons stared at you as they listened to you speak with wide eyes as they absorbed what you were saying. 

“Am I the only one who hasn’t lost their fucking mind?”, Eddie growls. “Are you going to stand there and tell me you’re the most expendable because you think you haven’t suffered as much as we have?”

“Even if that were true and let’s be fucking clear here it’s not.”, Steve rumbled in anger. “After what I just saw, Y/N…that’s a lot for one human to deal with. You carried the world on your shoulders way before we even came along.”

“It wasn’t that bad—”

“Y/N! It was fucking terrible! How can you not see… FUCK!”

“You lost your parents just like we did and you were trapped to. Maybe not in a stone but in Hawkins serving people who really didn’t give a damn except your dad. Like you with us, he saved you, sweetheart, and this is how you’re going to repay him? By throwing away your life if the opportunity arose?!”

“Excuse me.” The three of you swivel around to glare at Mirage, completely forgetting she was even there. “I don’t usually do this kind of thing but to be fair no one ever comes back here so…I’d like to show you something.”

After she disappears, you three find yourself in a huge, two-story house you had never been to before. As you walk down the hallway, you pass a bedroom covered from head to toe in band posters and clothes thrown everywhere. There was a stereo playing a song you didn’t recognize and a guitar not too far from it’s side. 

Suddenly, a boy’s voice fills your ears as he appears from his closet with his back to you as he slides on his leather jacket and hastily strolls to the mirror. His long wavy hair barely covers his horns but they still aren’t as big as Eddie’s or Steve’s. He had a bit of a lanky frame but you could tell he was strong as his muscles just barely peaked through the band shirt he was wearing with his slightly too big jeans.

“In the car, I just can't wait To pick you up on our very first date Is it cool if I hold your hand? Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?”

Your eyelids flutter at the sound of his voice as he sings and tears prick at the corner of your eyes. You’d know that sound anywhere. 

“Ellis.”

“Ellis! Hurry up, baby, or you’re gonna be late for school!”

“I’m coming, mom! Give me a minute!”

“Can you please grab your sister to?! Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah.”, he grins.

“He still has your smile, Steven.”, Eddie marveled.

Both demons moved aside as their son passed them into the hallway with you in tow, pausing outside another bedroom. 

“Hey, Dell. Are you ready? Mom’s calling for you.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to go.”

“Oh, you whiner. You’ll be fine, come on. One more semester and then you’ll be in high school.”

“But you won’t be there.”

“I know. Won’t it be great!”

“No.”, the girl whines. 

“Hey, you know you’re my best friend right? Wherever I go it won’t be far.”

She smiles as he pulls her into his embrace while you watch their exchange. This young lady’s room was fairly simple with pictures scattered above a desk in the corner with her and her friends. There appeared to be fencing trophies lining her shelf that Steve picked up to examine. 

“Fencing is sword fighting, right?” The demon breathily chuckles when you nod. “This thing here says she got first place in a league of some kind.”

“It looks like she’s into stones and auras like you.”, Eddie adds as he gestures towards her bedside table at the books and candles surrounding the lamp. 

As they looked around the room, you were looking at them, your children. Unlike her brother, he horns were much smaller and you could just vaguely make out the shape of small wings folded under her tank top. The brown hair on her head was the same as Steve’s but with your style as it rested just above her shoulders. Just like Ellis, however, her eyes and voice were a mix of human and demon.

“Guys! Let’s a get a move on!”

The three of you followed them down the stairs but paused in different places. You entered the living room and took in the photos around you. There were so many of 5 smiling faces that had your heart soaring. It seems you and your demons took them everywhere from Disneyland to Paris showing them the world. Some images were of your kids with Robin and Wayne as well as a million pictures of your children hanging out with Dustin’s in their realm. 

Steve and Eddie watched you as you effortlessly maneuvered around the kitchen, sliding breakfast in front of them as you continued to make lunches and get ready for the day. 

“Steven, she has a scar on her neck.”, the other demon murmured hoping you wouldn’t overhear as he pointed the area. “It looks old and faded but it’s not one she has now.”

A portal opening interrupts them as Steve steps through. 

“Kids. Wife.”, he greets making you giggle. 

“Holy shit, she does have a ring on her finger.”, the demon breathes as you search for a photo of the event to find none. 

“How’s Robin and Jonathan?”

“She’s good. We just did a quick patrol to make sure everything’s ok and went over some information. Nancy should be back tomorrow from the realm she was visiting with more intel so…” He grinned as he leaned down to give you a kiss. 

“Am I a fucking demon slayer now?”

“I mean, you do seem happier.”, Eddie beams. “And you look fucking sexy.”

The sound of feet catches everyone’s attention as the metalhead himself runs down the stairs. 

“Shit. I’m late.”

“Hi, daddy.”

“Hi, daddy.”, Ellis mimics making her pout as she smacks her brother’s shoulder. 

With a smile and a hastened pace, he leans down to kiss his daughter and son before overdramatically placing a kiss on you and Steve’s lips with loud MUAH noises that follow. 

“Love you, family, see you tonight!”, he shouts as he slings his guitar over his shoulder and runs out the door. 

“I’m done, mom.”, your youngest announces as she passes her plate to you. 

“Delilah Munson-Harrington, you didn’t even finish everything! You’re going to be hungry.”

At the name, your heart shatters as you start to cry. 

“Mom, oh my god. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll make her eat a snack or something, mom, I promise.”, Ellis declares as he passes you his empty plate and they grab the lunches you made them. “Are you driving us, dad?”

“Yeah of course.”

Red light shimmers as they all change into their human form and run out the door. 

Mirage grins softly as she places herself beside you and comfortingly rubs your back with her palm. 

“They suggested naming her after your mother, Y/N. Both kids are exceptionally bright and resourceful. They love Hawkins but also their father’s realm. They can float between both without any pain and they love you three very much. You don’t want to see a world without you, sweetie.”

Steve is the first to step forward as his fingers caressed your cheek and wiped away the tears that stained your face. 

“I’m sorry.”, you whisper. 

“Y/N, you don’t have to be that martyr anymore. You saved the world, you saved us… you always used to say, ‘no matter what happens as long as we’re together we’ll be ok.’ I still believe that, honey. I’m so sorry I didn’t talk to you either about what was going on. It will never happen again, I promise. Jesus, that image of you with my sword…hurting you…I’d do anything to make sure that never becomes a reality.” 

“You’re not and never have been expendable, sweetheart. You mean so much to so many beings… even ones that aren’t here anymore.”, Eddie softly smiled as he came up beside you. “You’re a part of us, babe. We love you so much.”

You tackled your arms around him as Steve did the same. 

“Oh, oh ok, now. That’s enough touching and love in my realm. Go do that in your own.”, Mirage jokes as she flaps her hands towards you three in shooing motion. “Please, um, feel free to stop by again. I don’t usually get repeats.”

#############

As you enter your home, you quickly run to check on Ellis to find him still asleep and you can’t help but smile as you pet his tiny head. 

When you entered your bedroom again, you found Eddie pinning Steve’s wrists to the mattress as they passionately exchanged kisses. 

“It’s been a while since I’ve taken control and kept you in line, huh, baby?”

“I’m sorry, honey.”, he panted as his lips chased the other demon’s. “I love you.”

Swiftly flipping onto his back, the long-haired demon grinned as he motioned for you to join them. 

“Still asleep?”

“Fast asleep.”, you beam. 

“Good.” Craning his neck, his lips tenderly kissed your own before he groaned against them as Steve took his cock into his mouth and sloppily bobbed his head as spit fell from his mouth. “Fuck, that’s it, Steven.”

Taking a hold of his hair, he held the boy still as he fucked up in him, relishing the sound of his gags as his throat constricted around him. 

“Good boy.”, the demon grunted before bringing his lips back to his own and pushing him onto his back once more. Holding his legs open wide, Eddie guided himself into the demon beneath him as they both rumbled a soft growl from their chest. “Good…boy…”

“P-Please. Harder, baby. Fuck.” The long-haired demon leaned his chest against Steve’s and passionately kissed him as he rolled his hips roughly into his own. “Just like that. I love you s-so much. I’m so sorry.”

The demon underneath him whined when he pushed back up onto his knees and stopped moving but quickly silenced himself when he realized his partner was tugging you on top of him. 

When you lowered yourself onto his leaking cock, Steve’s back arched as whimpered at the feeling. 

“Fuck!”

Your hand hastily covered his mouth as you both continued your steady rhythm. 

“Shhhh, baby. You can’t wake up Ellis.” His strong arms wrapped around you and held you against him as you ground your waist down against his. “I love you both so much.”

“Love y-you, honey. Oh my god. I missed the way your pussy felt.”

A sweat covered forehead leaned against your back and you groaned as you felt him murmur against your skin. 

“Fuck…fucking can’t stop thinking a-about you as our wife… Ours, sweetheart. Claimed. Mmph…

“I’d-I’d marry you both. I’ll always be yours. Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

Steve’s fingers tangled tightly in your hair, clinging tightly to you as your body trembled and the coil snapped. As both demons filled you with their release, neither let you go as you fell to your sides. 

The sound of cooing makes you three giggle as Steve announces he’ll grab “the little monster”.

“Y/N, what if…we could get married?”

“I told you, Eddie. I’d say yes and marry you both in an instant.”, you grin as you roll over and cuddle up into his chest. 

“I’m serious, sweetheart.”

His tone causes you to sit up and he does the same as his eyes meet your own.

“What are you trying to tell me, Edward?”

Steve reenters the room with a big smile and an equally happy baby as Ellis beams down at you both.

“I did some research a long time ago in our realm when Chrissy and I were together. I wanted to know the rules when it came to royalty and peasants like me. I remember reading something about how you could be married up to two people.”

You and the other demon exchanged a look as he continued.

“I don’t know how it would all work though because I would assume it would be between three demons and you’re a human. Add in that back in that time there was some backwards rules on men marry men and vise versa. I’m not sure how that would be now either…”

“Eddie? Are you asking us to marry you?”, you ask in a lighthearted tone that makes him blush and roll his eyes. 

“I mean yeah kind of I guess. I’m just asking if the option is available would you…would you want to?”

“Baby, I went through a trial with a witch or goddess or whatever to get a potion that would keep me alive and with you both as long as you both shall live. I would gladly do it again to marry you.”, you smile as you tilt towards him to kiss his cheek. “Both of you.”

“Me to.”, Steve confirms, grabbing the demon’s cheeks in his fingers and bringing his lips to his own. “You’re really adorable when you’re nervous.”

“Pfft, shut up.”, Eddie jokes as he reaches for his son who giggles and falls into his arms. “And you’ll be our best little man.”

#################

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld @nailbatanddungeon @notlempet @thwippyparker

[clownhara]

is there like a jester ocs 101 i do wanna learn about them

Putting these under a read more because this might get long

My family :)

Edward Roberts-Rosales: I made too many jokes about this bastard being my dad and now he's my dad. High key wants to fuck plants. Evades taxes like no ones business. Kind of a shit guy but it's funny to watch him mess up everything so we keep him alive for that alone Max Rosales: My better dad. Can really do so fucking much better than Edward but he settled </3. Is a plant man. Likes baking. Is the dad that actually loves me. Heron Rosales: I don't do to much with her but I'm trying to do more. Max's trans sister. Wants Edward dead and honestly, we don't blame her. Average chronic pain haver tbh please get her some Ibuprofen. Boaty McBoatface: My brother who is a boat. Edwards favorite son, despite being terrified of being on boats after he was the sole survivor of a ship wreck. I fuckinh hate this thing

Project Moon adjacent ones

Despise Domek (Or just Des): Local Enkphalin hooked rat. Goes by it/they but people close to it can call them she/her. There are two remaining people who can call them she/her. Steals things from people it likes to keep a piece of them, so don't invite them to your house. Things WILL go missing. Says the phrase "Well it didn't kill me so I'm fine" way to god damn often. Ambrose Domek: Not actually related to Des at all his parents just stole Des's parents last name. We heart religious fanaticism to the point of self harm!!!!!! Has two boyfriends and has convinced himself neither of them like him. Him and Des are besties :) Keith: Real Jester-heads remember Keith. I made this bastard before Ruina came out and he keeps fucking staying relevant to whatever game is out. How does he do it. Lobcorp him is Geb and Myo's adopted son, a Rabbit, and had a complex where he's gotta prove himself 24/7 and ends up getting his leg ripped off. Ruina him is trying to find Gebura again after the whole Library situation happened, and is wildly distraught after learning Myo's whole deal. Limbus Keith is content, much older, runs a weapons shop, and is gay married to Heathcliff. Jesus Christ I made him before the new translation of Lopcorp happened I think HOW LONG HAS HE EXISTED WHAT THE FUCK

Damien Domek: Also not related to Des, just took it's last name because he liked it. They are qprs though. Also is broke as shit but mostly stays out of the Rat lifestyle by just old fashioned robbing people. Loves lying to people for fun and profit, but he is honestly a pretty nice guy. Minus the lying

Randos

Arlo: Disgusting rancid cyborg scientist who needs to bathe and touch grass. I adore him though. Ellie: Arlos little sibling. She/they user. Kills people for money and feeds the bodies to the eldritch horror that follows her around Hector: The eldritch horror that follows Ellie around. usually just looks like a dilf tbh its easier for Ellie to explain. Can't actually speak so he usually just talks telepathically while making a bunch of hums, chirps, and clicks to mimic speaking.

Oleander: Local unethical scientist that unethicaled a bit too hard when trying to revive his even worse older brother and turned off most of his emotions manually to avoid coping with the mental toil. Sad! Many such cases. Can't feel any emotions other then joy now. Kinda sucks but he certainly doesn't seem to upset about it :)

Simon: Oleadners brother. Kinda. Moreso a robot piloting Oleanders brothers body. Fucking hates Oleander but after Oleander lobotomized himself Simon begrudgingly takes care of him now. Despite his complicated feelings, he's wildly overprotective.

Cybel: A robot Oleander made! They are meant to gather as much information as they possibly can in case some horrible event happens that kills off humanity. is quite literally indestructible. Likes ice cream.

Octavius: I made this guy to be a danganrompa villain back in high school and I succeeded too well. I fucking hate this fake ass bitch

Tabb: This fucking guy. Trapped in a time loop but he doesn't know and its technically not a time loop. Met his (now) husband ages ago but died shortly after meeting him, so he revived Tabb, then the two got married, then Tabb died again so Halt (the husband) revived him again but he lost his memories then halt died and Tabb revived him the Tabb died again so Halt revived him but he lost all his memories so they dated again and got remarried then Tabb died again and you get the idea. Very nice guy, a bit anxious, perfectly normal minus the dying thing. If it wasn't for him losing all his memories and Halt tampering with shit so he was in love with him i uh. Don't think he'd actually like Halt all that much tbh

Halt: Just wants to be happy with his husband :(. Sad he unethicaled all over that science. Hey are you noticinga theme here. Also he's a cat boy but thats really not relevant to his depression issues

Urge: Halts kinda milfy twin sister. Really sick of all of this loop bullshit because she gets to watch her bestie Tabb die repeatedly, so she packed up her bags and left. Can't be in the same room as Halt without them getting into a fist fight. Do you see the themeing with their namesan d their ideals. Halt is kinda halted in place but Urge keeps pushing forward because she has the urgeto move on. Do you see it. It is almost 1 am

Russel: A kid that got roped into this whole mess because he walked in on a Tabb revival tube without permission. Sticks around Urge most of the time. Had a bad homelife to put it mildly, so Urge took him in.

Theres way more of these bastards but these are the most relevant ones. I am going to bed now. Goobnight

[ellieluvr420]

Eye for an Eye Pt.5

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: Your body yearned for the touch of your girlfriend, the warm embrace that calmed your mind but you couldn't give in, the anger you harboured for her at disappearing with her group for three months without any warning, explanation or even a mention of when she would be back stopped you in your tracks any time you got close to giving in. You loved Abby so much but looking at her made you sick, you couldn't push the feelings down no matter how much you craved for things to go back to what they once were. You hadn't planned this but the anguish in those green eyes mirrored yours and sucked you in before you could think twice about the repercussions of your actions. You made your bed when you made the deal with the auburn-haired stranger, eventually you'd have to lie in it.

I want to quickly stress that this is a darker fic and there will be a lot of darker, possibly triggering themes to do with mental health throughout so take that as a warning. I likely won't do warnings for each part because part of this fic for me is that you don't know what's going to happen until you read it so please do not read if you find graphic descriptions of mental illness and topics surrounding that triggering (this includes suicide, be warned). But if you do read, thank you so much, this story is really important to me and I appreciate any interaction whatsoever!

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧      

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” Her pistol jammed into your chest as she grabbed your hair and yanked it, pulling your head backwards to meet her eyes. The force of it causing you to drop the polaroid on the floor.

“Ellie, I’m sorry.” 

“You’re fucking sorry? You’re sorry you didn’t tell me you’re with the girl who bashed Joel’s head in with a golf club while they made me watch? You’re fucking sorry? Sorry’s not good enough.” She cocked the gun and you didn’t even flinch, you just stayed frozen in your place as you pictured Abby, your sweet Abby, before everything happened and suddenly a switch flipped, you wouldn’t die before she did, you had to keep going. 

“Wait! Ellie, look, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, but I still want to help you. I want her dead just as much as you do.” 

“How do you expect me to believe that?” 

“Because it’s the truth. Yes, I was in love with her, but she broke my heart when she left without telling me, she didn’t care about me, she left me to rot on my own and when she came back she still wouldn’t tell me where she had went, she watched me crumble, become a shell of myself, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep and it didn’t change anything for her, she ruined me. Then you told me what she had done and that was it, she wasn’t my Abby anymore, you want to kill her and I want to help, that’s the truth Ellie.” She loosened her grip on your hair and retracted her gun as she took two steps back from you, shaking her head like she was trying to stop your words entering her ears. 

“So- so what, you help me kill her and then you just live happily ever after? You’re full of shit.” 

“No Ellie, I was going to kill her and then kill myself.” The words fell out of your lips before you even had time to process what you were thinking. There was silence between you both, she just stood and stared and you never let your eyes leave the floor as you pinched at the skin on your arm, you’re real, this is real, you’re conscious. 

“W-what, why?” You chuckled at her bewilderment like the answer to her question was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Because I’m basically dead anyway, I signed my death warrant the second I agreed to help you, they’ll figure it out sooner or later but they won’t find you before you get to them. I accepted my fate when I agreed to help you because I can’t live with her but I can’t live without her so I don’t see myself being able to live like this much longer.” 

“Like what?” 

“My mind is splintered, I keep saying things in my head but different words are coming out of my mouth and I have no idea what I said in place of what I was thinking. I keep blacking out, I’m losing time, one minute I’m walking out of the theatre with you and the next we’re in Hillcrest but I can’t find you because apparently I wandered off without a trace. I don’t even know if you were telling the truth to Jesse when you said I saved you from two clickers on the way there because I have no memory from when we left the theatre to when I found that Wolf. I don’t remember the journey from... the house by the hospital to- to here. I reached for the door handle to leave and instead I was opening the window for us to climb through. Earlier today I imagined that I strangled Abby to death and it felt so real until I snapped back to reality and she was sitting right in front of me. When I passed out as we came in, what happened in my head was that as I got through the window I turned back to see Abby following me in instead of you. She grabbed me and she- I don’t even know what the fuck she did but it felt like I was dying. I’m going fucking insane and there’s nothing I can do to stop it because Abby broke my heart and dragged my soul away from me too. I am nothing, I will never be anything again.” You sobbed, choking on the lump in your throat as you just tried to keep going. “The first time I even felt like I was attached to my body in months was in that fucking house with you Ellie and then it happened all over again and I was screaming and crying but I wasn’t because I was kissing you back and I actually felt real but in my head I was begging for you not to become a monster like me. I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep, I can’t function because the person I trusted with my life is slowly killing me. I’d rather die than keep living like this but she doesn’t get to just move on and forget about me all over again once I’m gone. She has to pay too. I know you’re not telling me everything about why she killed Joel but I don’t care, I want to die and I want to take her with me.” You suck a breath in to try and steady your voice and clear your mind. “I’m sorry for lying, I really am. I shouldn’t have been an asshole about you not telling me about Dina because I’ve done worse but I have no control anymore and I just saw red when you told me about her. I haven’t always been a monster like this I swear, I’m just- I'm too far gone to save. So I was gonna help you kill her and then kill myself. That’s the truth, I swear.” Fuck, why did you say that? Why did you actually just tell her that?

You feel dizzy, out of breath from your monologue. You don't want to look at Ellie, to see her reaction, you know it won't be good, you're surprised she hasn't shot you already, you just let the tears stream down your cheeks as you stare at the floor.

"Why didn't you say anything when I found you in Hillcrest?"

"It was the first time I properly blacked out for a long time, I was scared and I thought you'd think I was mad and shoot me there and then, I can't die until I know she'll be there waiting for me." It was grim, hearing your words, you couldn't imagine what Ellie was thinking.

"What if we kill her and you go back to n- you stop feeling all?-" She cuts herself off, unable to find a phrase to use that seemed appropriate.

"Stop feeling fucking insane?" You both chuckle quietly, it was bittersweet, more bitter than sweet.

"Sorry."

"Don't be, that's what I am, I doubt that'll change but even if it does, it won't change my mind. This is what has to happen, I know it doesn't make sense, to you anyway, but this is it for me, I don't have a future anymore because I can't have one with her. It's pathetic but she was the only thing that brought light into this shitty life and she ripped it away when she left, I'm sick of living in the dark."

"You're the most complicated person I've ever met."

"Could say the same to you."

"What?" She scoffs.

"I know you love Dina, you wouldn't call what happened between us a complication?"

"No, it's not complicated in my mind. It's about the simplest thing I've got going on up there these days." She taps her temple twice, it was your turn to scoff, she had to be joking. There's nothing simple about it, you had promised yourself you'd keep your distance because you couldn't get wrapped up in anything that might alter the course of your plan and that included Ellie... and her girlfriend.

"It won't happen again Ellie." Her face drops from the cheeky smirk that had been playing on her features, her eyes fluttering shut as she nods her head and bites the inside of her cheek.

"Please don't... you know... Come back to Jackson with us. You can start fresh." Her eyes lit up as she finished her sentence, a new sense of hope coursing through her veins that dissipates the second she meets your eyes.

"I can't do that, you know that, besides, you should want me dead for what I've done, why the fuck would you want me to come back with you?"

"I don't know but I can't just leave you here to die. I can't let you go." Quiet falls over you both, you shouldn't have asked her that, you knew the answer would only hurt more. You could never be what she needs, Dina is what she needs. You don't know Dina, but you know she's what's good for Ellie, she's the opposite of you, she's the light where you're the dark. She's the warm when you're the cold. Ellie deserved light and warmth, not cold and dark, that's all you'd ever be and that's all Ellie would ever want, it was sad, crushing but it was reality. You would always be Abby's even in death.

Why the fuck did you kiss her? You're fucking evil for doing this to her.

"When this is all done, go home with Dina and move on, forget about me and everything that happened here."

"I can't do that, you know that." She mimics your words and it stings.

"Ellie, I'm a fucking monster, I'm evil and I'll only dirty you. All I've done, you don't deserve someone like me in your life. I'll only bring you pain and suffering and I'll ruin you and your home. Leave me behind and get out while you can, before it catches up to you, don't get dragged down with me when I eventually go." Silence. She doesn't speak, only furrows her eyebrows as she steps towards you.

"It just happened again." Her reply confused you, it was obvious from your face that you hadn't caught on. "You didn't say anything just then. You just stared at me, not even at me, you stared through me."

"No." You breathed out, your voice wobbling.

"I'm sorry." She sounded sincere, she was, she watched as you disappeared behind your eyes and then reappeared like it was nothing, you were struggling to hold it together in front of her and she knew it.

"FUCK!" You curse out. "See what I mean, I'm barely alive anyway, what fucking difference does it make?"

"All the fucking difference! You're alive, you don't feel it but you're alive, you're here. Being alive in the world we live in is a fucking miracle, you can't just throw it away."

"I'm not just throwing it away Ellie. I can't see another way out of this. Just let me help you finish this and then forget about me. I'm not gonna change my mind so stop fucking trying." You snap, your voice harsh and distant as you look anywhere but her. You couldn't, you knew it would be too hard. Ellie stepped closer pleading with you in her head to just look at her like you'd hear her thoughts but you wouldn't, couldn't look at her and it sent shooting pains through her chest. She still hadn't learnt how to deal with sadness, it had always just turned to anger. The anger she could deal with, she could process to a certain extent, but sadness just lingered in her and caused her body to ache and her mind to become clouded, slightly separating her from the world. You were sad, gut-wrenchingly heartbroken, she saw herself in you and it only fed her delusions more, you would both finish this and you wouldn't feel this way anymore, that was the only possible outcome in her mind. She felt hope, the tiniest shimmer of light in a sea of darkness, almost being drowned out but still there. Though it was hard for the light to compete, her anger at your stubbornness and your lies crashing through her mind. She wanted this to work but she was still so aggrieved by your cold shoulder.

"How can I trust you now?" Her voice was sharp, covering the real feelings bubbling up. She trusted you, even after finding out about your relationship with Abby, she trusted you but she just needed to hear you speak again.

"I have patrol with Manny, I was just gonna kill him then and tell you but if you wanna see for yourself, I'll tell you where we're going to be and when. But if you get caught, it's not on me." She doesn't make a move to speak, only wincing slightly, almost unnoticeably at the coldness of your last statement. You wait and wait but she doesn't reply, she just stares, the look on her face screaming of dissatisfaction. "Look I know it's not Abby but it's only gonna be me and Manny on that patrol so when I come back alone and say he died, I'm gonna get interrogated for hours, it's protocol. I'm putting myself at risk here before I can even get to Abby because I want her to feel the pain of losing all of her friends. If I wasn't serious about all of this, why would I risk killing him in a way that could get me in serious trouble? Yes I want to end it but not until after she's gone, think about it Ellie, I'm doing this because I want to speed up the timeline. I want her dead, please believe me." Even as you beg, you still sound cold, the temperature around you both dropping to the point where there ware goosebumps prickling your skin.

"Fine. Now why don't you run off back to your little girlfriend and let me sleep." Little wasn't exactly the right word but Ellie had lost all control of her mouth, she sounded rough and hateful and she was anything but that towards you, being around you after all you had said was just too much of a reminder of the reality of what's to come and she wasn't ready to face that.

You didn't fight, you didn't have it in you. You just turned on your heel and walked away from her without another glance at the girl's defeated face. The polaroid still laying on the floor where you had been stood, abandoned by you.

tags: @emiliabby @liasxeatt @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @tphmnv @a-little-bit-of-everybody @chrry1ovr @bready101

[lillysbigwilly]

i fcking love streamer!ellie but what if reader was the streamer?! imagine ellie being a huge fan and always leaving comments during her stream. she's also internally freaking out when she meets the reader in person and experiencing gay panic, at the same time, because "holy sht she is the prettiest person i've ever seen in my entire fcking life."

okay it’s official, anon i absolutely love you, you god 🤍

streamer!reader x Ellie Williams head canons

can i appoint myself the queen of streamer!ellie head canons or is that narcissistic (leave requests my loves)

it would 100% start off with ellie being bored shitless, hopping through tv channels, netflix, youtube etc before finally turning to a streaming sight.

she loves gaming and often finds herself on that platform however she’s never seen you before that day. you were pretty big, rolling in about 50k viewers per stream but you were more of a baking stream, qna stream person rather than gaming

however, your friends had persuaded you to play a story game for that stream. you honestly couldn’t remember the name but it was some sort of zombie apocalypse one

it was fun and ellie actually sat through your whole stream.

after that, she had subscribed (in which you read out her username and she literally almost screamed hearing your pretty voice say her name) and she watched every other stream after that

she favoured the baking ones, seeing you all dressed up with a cute lil apron on over your clothes.

and ellie liked you even more when you made weed brownies live. saying they where ‘funny’ brownies so you didn’t get demonetised

she thought you were absolutely stunning and quickly ranked up to one of your favourite fans with her silly comments and the sweetest complements on each of your streams.

plus she sent you a lot of money.

it was actually after your birthday stream that she met you in real life.

she had been watching for a little over a year and you had gone out with your friends to celebrate your birthday after a short stream

as you were walking down the road to meet said friends , you noticed a pair of eyes on you which wasn’t unusual since you were pretty well known however you recognised her face from somewhere.

ellie’s eyes widened as you walked closer to her. her cheeks flushed red as she subtly looked you up and down. gay mother fucking panic.

now the girl knew she didn’t like men and only liked women but shit did you solidify it. she had been with girls before but you were something else

“i know you” is the first words you said to ellie and her heart just about stopped beating. sure, you acknowledged her online. even becoming mutuals after a comment she left on your post made you laugh but you knowing ellie? impossible “ellie right”

she didn’t trust her voice so she simply nodded. her response made you smile.

you gave her your number, it was dangerous. you didn’t know if she would leak it or whatever but you still did it and it was the best damned decision ever.

you know what they say about lesbians moving quick as fuck. yeah that was true for you and ellie. literally going on a date one week, making it official the next and then she practically moved in after that

neither of you mind, ellie chipped in with food and rent even though you told her you had enough.

(imagine you had ended up with dealer!ellie😳 that itself is a whole other story)

she would start joining your streams, fans would speculate and obviously it was true but they didn’t need to know that just yet.

it was only when you were spotted together holding hands and kissing that i officially came out that you we’re together (celeb tearoom type shit. TMZ drama alert and all that covered it)

you would often try to correlate outfits when you streamed together, if you had pink on then so did she.

there was the usual jealous people that commented against ellie and it did hurt at the beginning. nothing a few words of encouragement and steamy nights with you couldn’t fix.

seriously though, most of your fans adored her. she was quite shy at first and saw how absolutely smitten you were with each other. obsessed with the way you looked at each other when the other looked away

cooking streams that end up being a nightmare. flour and shit everywhere.

speaking of flour. the fans realised you had a special someone in your life when flowers started appearing in the back of your streams. often hung upside down so they last longer.

you eventually get matching tattoos, little hearts on your wrists both with red ink. meaningful but not big. you were both sure you were in it forever but just in case.

(unrelated but imagine ellie with a nose ring)

your fans were nosy sure but they were damn respectful - minus the odd few. if it was obvious you were on a date, all dressed up and i’m a fancy restaurant, they will not interfere which you were super appreciative about

the fans could tell you were in love with each other from day one