#They sent this during the hallucination bit... guys...

[buwheal]

ヾ(•ω•`)o Hiiii!!!! Don't worry about it! Don't be afraid. It's not real.

Excerpt from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Phone

"In 1978, a local serial child abductor and murderer only known as "The Grabber" prowls the streets of a suburb in North Denver. Finney Blake and his younger sister Gwen live in the area with their abusive, alcoholic father Terrence, whose wife committed suicide after having a series of disturbing psychic dreams. Finney is frequently bullied and harassed at school, but his friend and classmate Robin fends off the bullies.

Having inherited her mother's ability, Gwen dreams about the Grabber's abduction of Bruce, a boy Finney knew from Little League. Two police detectives, Wright and Miller, interview Gwen at school, believing that she may have knowledge about the Grabber. When Terrence learns about the questioning, he beats her with a belt. Soon afterward, the Grabber abducts first Robin and then Finney.

Finney awakens in a soundproofed basement with a disconnected black rotary dial telephone on one wall. It begins to ring on its own at times; Finney hears only static when he first answers it, but then hears Bruce's voice telling him about a floor tile he can remove in order to dig an escape tunnel. Finney starts to dig, but the foundations of the house are sunk too deeply for him to go beneath them.

The Grabber brings Finney a meal and leaves the basement door unlocked. As Finney is about to sneak out, he gets a call from Billy, another past victim. Billy warns Finney that the Grabber is waiting at the top of the basement stairs to punish him if he tries to leave, as part of a cruel game. At Billy's suggestion, Finney uses a hidden length of cable to climb up to the basement window; however, his weight pulls out the grate covering the pane, leaving him with no way to reach it again.

As Gwen confides to Terrence about her dreams of Finney's abduction, Wright and Miller question an eccentric man named Max who is staying in the area with his brother and who has shown great interest in the Grabber's crimes. It is revealed that Finney is being held in Max's basement, and that the Grabber is his brother.

Finney receives a call from Griffin, a third victim, who gives him the combination to the lock securing the house's front door and tells him that the Grabber has fallen asleep. He sneaks out and unlocks the door, but the Grabber quickly recaptures Finney after his dog Samson barks to wake him. A fourth victim, a juvenile delinquent named Vance, calls to tell Finney that he can break through a wall and into a freezer in the adjacent room. Finney does so, but finds the freezer door locked. As Finney despairs over his fate, he receives one last call from Robin, who urges him to stand up for himself and fight back by packing the phone receiver with dirt to use as a bludgeon.

After seeing the Grabber's house in a vision, Gwen calls Wright and Miller to give them the address. The police rush to the house and find the bodies of the Grabber's victims buried in the basement. Meanwhile, Max realizes Finney is being held in the basement and rushes to free him, but the Grabber kills him with an axe and attacks Finney, having decided to end his game. Finney uses the byproducts from his previous escape attempts to trap the Grabber in a pit he has dug, beats him with the receiver, and breaks his neck with the phone cord as his past victims taunt him. "

fucked up thing to send him btw

[annisassintchaska]

AUDACITY: Toto Wolff x Wife!Black!Reader

TW: CURSING, YELLING

The hectic race here in Monza had finally come to an end and it is now time for the post-race interviews. One by one, the drivers were asked questions about what happened during their drive and what they think could've been done differently; however, a specific question a young driver had pissed off the wife the Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team, Y/n Wolff as she march her way in front of the man, blocking the journalist's sight of him.

"Could you please repeat that question you asked?" Y/n asked to make sure she heard the man right. "I asked if he felt that since he hadn't been winning any races for Christian, if he thought that maybe his time here in Formula 1 is running out?" the man asked once again, this time with a bit of fear for what the shorter yet feisty woman had to say. "So, I wasn't hallucinating, I heard you correctly! Now let me educate you on something here since you seem to lack the knowledge! A driver's career doesn't just end because they've been constantly not making it to the podium, sure he hasn't been winning yet he did a damn good job at keeping himself in the top six and THAT should be praised considering the state of favouritism going on in his team. Next is to address the fact that yes, we all know that Christian Horner is an impatient man when it comes to certain things, however he would never be that foolish to let Sergio go and if he was, he would pay for it dearly at my hands as I would personally burn his headquarters and garages to ashes, not leaving a pinch of paper for him to start over from. Mark my words, as whatever it is that you call yourself, the post-race interviews are for questions about the race and shouldn't go to the extent of you putting doubts into any driver's mind. BE WARNED THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST AND LAST WARNING AS YOU ARE WALKING ON THIN ICE SEEMING THAT I COULD'VE HAD YOUR CAREER ENDED ON THE SPOT. Now apologize!" She shouted in anger that someone who should've been able to be trusted to ask sensible questions was actually a complete idiot out for nothing but starting chaos.

"I'm very sorry Sergio, I didn't think my words would have been taken that seriously" said the man as he was on the verge of tears, out of fear that he almost lost his job due to a foolish question. "It's ok, no hard feelings. Just try not to make this mistake again or best believe she'll be back for you" Sergio said as he went over to hug the man, being in shock himself.

Toto had been doing an interview with his drivers, when George noticed what was about to happen and tapped Lewis on the shoulder. They both called for Toto's attention, where the trio along with their journalist, watched on as Y/n gave the visibly shaking man a piece of her mind. After that was done, the lady interviewing them decided to ask "So Toto, you've obviously seen what your wife had just done. What would your reaction be to her for this?" the journalist smiled as she awaited an answer from Toto who as himself looks genuinely scared. "My question is What the fuck do you all want me to do?! I'm not getting involve in that! The last time you all had me interfere, I was unable to sleep on my pillows for a month!" He replied in a panicked tone as Lewis and George were the only two who knew what his "pillows" meant. "Dude, you've got to be kidding me. You still call her breasts pillows? How comfortable could they be?" George asked in amusement that his boss was still obsessed with his wife's boobs. "Trust me Russ, they are very comfy, I've also added and new pair. The ass" Toto said making everyone, including the journalist laugh. "Alright, so I see you're unable to help the guy out, that's all the questions I have for you three. Have a nice rest of your day" the woman said as they replied, "Same to you."

Unbeknownst to them the cameras had still been filming LIVE and they manged to capture the response which sent the world into a spiral at the fact that such a giant of man's weakness was being able to sleep on his wife as it now became the biggest thing to tease him of whenever he did something he wasn't supposed to.

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fanfic)

Chapter 2

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. No warnings.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

……………………………………………

A few hours later that evening, when Jobe checked his phone, he found two notifications from his brother.

Two messages sent, 15 mins apart, but both deleted shortly after. He decided to ping him to check in.

Jobe: Hey wassup?

Jude: Hey. Just about to crash.

Jobe: Anything playing on your mind? Nervous about tomorrow?

Jude smiled at his screen before answering. The answer was yes, in more ways than one.

Jude: A bit, yes. Yet, I can’t wait for tomorrow to come. It’s strange but, y’know what I mean?

Jobe: It’s warranted I guess. First Classico of your life, that too at home. Would be intense. But exciting too.

Jude: Hmm.

Jobe: Should I ask Mom to call you? She would anyway call tomorrow morning, though.

Jude: Nah let it be. Let her take care of Aunt Tracie. I know she wanted to be with me here for this but that’s important too. I am anyway gonna crash soon.

Jobe: Good luck for tomorrow. Kill it.

Jude: Thanks mate, need the luck. Talk to you soon.

He put the phone down, dimmed the lights and pulled the blanket all the way over his head. After tossing and turning for 10 mins, he checked his Whatsapp again.

No message from her. But she was online. Her DP was super cute, he thought. A sun-kissed photo on a beach in a yellowish floral dress.

Jude: Reached safely?

He went with the only segue he could think of. 45 seconds later, blue tick.

Ananya had reached just a few mins ago. One hour’s work took over two coz she just couldn’t focus. And she actually ended up getting stuck in the rain, just as he had predicted.

Just then, his name flashed on the phone. Reminding her that she hadn’t hallucinated all this. Her roommate was blasting music loudly in her room, in the weekend spirit. If only she knew what happened, she would die. Roma was an Indian American, who had never really lived in India. She was her colleague at work and as big a Madridista as her. They had hit it off instantly during the internship last year.

Ananya: Hey, yes I am home. Thanks for checking in :)

Jude: Super :)

She tapped her thumb on the phone screen, thinking whether her next question would make her look silly. But she decided to ask anyway.

Ananya: Is there some of..dress code for players box? I see a lot of people dressed in suits and formals.

Jude: No no, those are the corporate / business guys mostly. You can wear whatever you want.

Ananya: So, I can wear my jersey?

That brought a big smile to his face.

Jude: Ofcourse, dove! In fact, I would insist you do that :)

Instead of asking which jersey, rather whose jersey she was gonna wear, he tried a different tactic.

Jude: I could get the latest season’s one sent to you before the match.

Ananya: Nice try. But I have a favourite one I am planning to wear. You can guess whose it’s gonna be.

Jude: Can I change your mind?

Ananya: From now to tomorrow evening, I highly doubt it.

Jude: Is that a challenge, dove?

Ananya: Don’t you have an important match to focus on tomorrow?

He sighed.

Jude: I do. Really should have crashed by now.

Ananya: Think about how dreamy tomorrow would be. Even the ride through the training ground to the stadium would be nuts - thousands of fans on the streets. We need you well rested and charged up, and I am speaking on behalf of all fans when I say this. Close your eyes and get your beauty sleep now.

He chuckled over how quickly she switched from her own self to a fan representative.

Jude: Are you working for Carlo on the side and not telling me?

Ananya: Maybe, who knows. Good night, Jude. Sleep well. You would be amazing tomorrow.

Jude: Thank you. And Ananya?

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: I can’t wait to see you in my box tomorrow, cheering for me. Good night, dove!

With that, he finally put his phone down, snoring softly in a few mins.

But she ended up staring at her phone for a good 15 mins. The last line. Him calling her dove. Dear lord, what even was happening? This made no sense. They had nothing in common. This was not logical at all. The surrealism of it made her pinch herself a few times. She looked back at his DP - hugging his mom during his signing, both with a big smile. It was so sweet. Everything about him was so sweet. So normal. How could it be?

She shook her head and went to her roommate to break the news. Roma didn’t believe her at once but when she saw the passes, and a few messages from him as she practically snatched the phone away from Ananya, she jumped around like a 5 year old girl on a sugar high.

Ananya just laughed at her friend’s antics. She kept her anxiety on the Jude situation aside for a moment, at Roma’s insistence, and the two just celebrated getting to watch a Classico tomorrow. And, to see Zidane up close. The joy of the moment took over the nerves and they both jumped on the bed, hugging each other. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Next evening, they reached well in advance, not wanting to take any chances with traffic or queues. The players box and the attached lounge were luxurious - the girls checked out the place thoroughly, sampling the appetisers and drinks. 30 mins later, when the girls went back to their seats, Ananya found a few unread messages popping on her phone. They were from him. She held the phone close to her chest, so others don’t see the name, and clicked on the messages.

Jude: Reached?

And then, a from few mins later.

Jude: Came out for warmup. Didn’t see you in the box. Stuck somewhere?

She quickly typed the response.

Ananya: We are here. Sorry, lost track of the time while checking out the place and trying to get Zizou in a selfie frame. Not so much a selfie but us trying to get an angle with him included, while he was having his croissant far away.

Blue tick. Immediately.

Jude: Haha, he’s a nice chap. You could just ask him for a selfie.

Ananya: Considering I ran away when he looked in my direction, don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.

Jude: (laughing emoji)

She was still feeling guilty for missing the warm-up, so she decided to send him two photos. The first was the half selfie with Zidane, and the second was her in the box with her three friends, with the field as the background.

There was silence for a bit. She thought he must be getting ready to come back on the field, so she started checking her insta and added the two photos. The fan groups she were a part of would go nuts at this, she already knew.

Two minutes later, his name flashed again.

Jude: Who’s that guy in the picture with you?

Ananya looked back at the picture in question. It was her, Roma and her two work colleagues. The girls had invited them too. They were all standing next to each other, hands casually around each others’ backs as they posed with big smiles. Jude must be referring to Arjun, she figured, as he was the one right next to her.

Ananya: He’s my colleague. Well, they both are. You had sent 5 passes so Roma and I asked them. Is that a problem?

She wondered if she had overstepped the invite somehow and bit her bottom lip as she nervously saw him type.

Jude: Is he with you?

Her brows furrowed in confusion.

Ananya: I mean, I just said all three of them came with me.

Jude huffed in frustration, staring at the photo again. He could tell it was meant to be a casual photo but the guy’s hand was too comfortable on her back and too close to her waist. Something about him immediately irked Jude. He just hated his guts.

Jude: But he’s not WITH you right?

It was her turn to get annoyed now.

Ananya: Jude, seriously? Right now?

She jumped when the phone rang. It was him ofcourse. Roma looked at her curiously and Ananya rushed back into the lounge to escape from prying eyes. She found a quieter corner and answered the phone.

‘Before you say anything, I have 30 seconds after which I have to rush into the tunnel. You have every right to be mad but can you pls answer my question now and I will make up for this behaviour later? I don’t wanna go to the field like this.’

The mix of earnestness and child-like hope in his tone somehow assuaged her annoyance.

‘Please?’

She sighed audibly on the line and he looked at his teammates who had already started exiting the dressing room.

‘No, he’s not WITH me like that.’

She could practically hear him smile at the other end.

‘Thank you. I knew it but just needed to hear from you. And like I said, I will make up for this. Gonna score for you, dove. And later tonight, gonna apologise when I see you.’

His teammates were calling him in the background now, everyone was in the tunnel. He got the last sentence in before he absolutely had to hang up.

‘After the match, meet me in Pavillion 2 Parking lot, Pillar 4. It’s only for the players, no media or fans would be there. It’s a private exit from the back so no one would see us together. Then we can have a quiet dinner. Come down when I ping you. Yes?’

Another long, audible sigh at the other end.

‘Ok.’

She could again hear the darned smile.

‘Won’t wish me luck?’

‘Good luck, Jude. Now go, please. The anthem has started playing.’

‘Keep your eyes on me. See you soon. Bye.’

With that, he hung up and rushed to join his team, and got some looks which he totally deserved. But that was a small price to pay.

Ananya ran back to the box, not wanting to miss the anthem. She was a fan, first and foremost, and this was a big match. Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas blared at full volume. The girls stood up and sang along, waving to the beautiful melody.

Just then, the team stepped out. Serious game faces on. Her eyes scanned the whole team, marvelling at seeing them all only for the second time. Finally, her eyes landed on Jude, who was standing at the end of the line. And Roma elbowed her in the ribs just then because guess what? He was looking up at the box.

When he spotted her, he gave a slight nod in her direction which only the two girls could decipher. But very quickly, the game face was back on. She could tell how focused he was for tonight.

It was a tough match, heavily competitive, like any Classico. Barca were marking Jude really well, given he had been the most destructive force of Madrid in the first few months. He was getting frustrated but kept at it.

The group soaked in the riveting atmosphere. And the girls fangirled over many notable people in the VIP box. Nadal was quite an animated viewer in person which they were amused to see.

But mostly, they sang along for every chant, every song that was reverberating in the stadium. And the view was just perfect, not like when she had watched from the stands last year.

She did find her eyes going to Jude many times. Gosh, he looked fit. And played marvellously. He really was a vision tonight.

And just like that, first half was over. The atmosphere was tense as Madrid was down 1-0. The coaching staff rallied the players back to the dressing room, to regroup and strategise for second half. They were definitely going to get an earful for the set piece defending. She couldn’t look away from Jude as he walked off - he looked disappointed, angry yet still determined. He walked with intent, already talking to the coaching staff on the way.

The crowd started discussing different nuances of the first half as the highlights played on the 360* screens.

She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick message.

Ananya: There is full second half to go. As they say, 90 mins at the Bernabeu is a long time.

There was a blue tick but no response. She figured he would be busy, as he should be at this time.

The second half began soon after. Both teams went at each other but Madrid was playing with more aggression now. More pressing, more tackles, more forward movement.

And 20 mins later, out of nowhere, from way outside the penalty box, Jude scored a long range screamer.

The crowd went berserk, as did the boxes. Nadal nearly stood on his chair and waved his coat. The girls hugged each other and screamed their lungs out. The whole squad and the coaching staff ran on the field and ambushed Jude.

Once they dispersed, he raised his arms to the fans, pulling out his trademark celebration. And the fans sang ‘Hey Jude’ with love.

As he was walking away, he did sneak in one look towards his box. Nothing too obvious for the cameras to catch, but she saw the slight nod again. He knew she could see him on the 360* cameras and would know it was meant for her.

Roma saw it too. And dug her nails into Ananya’s arm.

‘Girl, is this real or am I in a trance? Did he really just do that?’

‘Honestly, I am asking myself the same question.’

As it turns out, he wasn’t done scoring for the night. In the penultimate minutes, the man scored a winner from close range.

The noise in the stadium was deafening. Some fans pulled their shirts off while others cried with joy. The two girls jumped from their seats and kept jumping for a good minute.

The celebration from the team was worthy of a Classico winner. Jude and Vazquez did some mental dance and then Rudiger tackled them all to the ground. Later, Valverde jumped on Jude who caught & held him with just one arm.

‘Pretty boy is strong too, huh?’

Roma whispered in Ananya’s ear, making her flustered. She nearly wanted to retort saying if Roma was just realising that and not during the match when he outmuscled all midfielders in duels.

Before she could say anything though, he did that sign with both hands, looking towards his thighs. The crowd roared back at him.

Ananya found herself paralysed in her seat as Roma elbowed her violently.

‘Maybe he’s giving you a message’

Ananya buried her head in her hands as Roma continued to tease her endlessly. Even with her fluster, she couldn’t help notice how the arrogant confidence suited him perfectly on the pitch.

Soon after, the final whistle came and the fans roared again along with the anthem. The team took a lap around the stadium, thanking the fans for their support. As they were walking off, Jude looked up at the box and his gaze lingered for a few seconds.

He looked away just at the right time, before the cameras caught his gaze. Ananya sighed inwardly - she had been worried about this all evening but thankfully it didn’t look like anyone had caught a whiff.

The rest of the group went to the lounge to grab a bite before leaving. She stayed back in the box and took in the atmosphere some more.

When Jude managed to check his phone 10 mins later, it was buzzing with messages. He checked the ones in his family group first and pinged them that he would call soon. Their happiness and support was the biggest reason why he did what he did.

Then, he looked for another name, and giggled with joy to see an unread message.

Ananya: Congrats. That was a special performance. You guys made the fans very happy, especially you. Savour the accolades, you deserve them.

He smiled from ear to ear, re-reading the message a few times.

Ananya was in the washroom when her phone buzzed again.

Jude: Did I make YOU happy?

Ananya: Very much so :)

Jude: Am I forgiven for earlier, then?

Ananya: Mostly, but not fully.

Jude: Ooh tough crowd :)

He sneaked into the shower to quickly call her from there, as the dressing room had erupted with champagne and food fights and all kind of hip hop jazz performances.

She picked up instantly.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey, sorry for the background. The lads are losing it. I am gonna need 20 mins more to take a quick shower and meet you downstairs but given the mood outside, might become 30. But I definitely will make it down in 30. Would that be ok?’

‘Yes ofcourse. And hey, don’t cut down the celebrations. These are the moments to cherish. In fact, if you just wanna hang with the team..’

He didn’t let her finish.

‘Are you mad? I have earned, EARNED this dinner with my blood, sweat and tears. No way I am giving that up. Nu-uh.’

She giggled at his theatrics and he giggled back at her.

‘Ok. Gotta go now. The sooner I wrap up here the sooner I see you. Sending you the car number. Will ping you 5 mins in advance. The parking lot is a bit secluded but it’s meant to be that way. It’s perfectly safe so don’t worry when you walk down there. I will anyway pick you up in 30 seconds of you being there. Ok? See you soon.’

‘Cool, see you.’

‘Bye, dove.’

‘Bye, Jude.’

He hung up and rejoined the mad dances that Vini and Cama were leading, still keeping track of time.

While Ananya grabbed on to the washroom counter, looked into the mirror and stared at her own reflection.

It was really happening. In 30 mins, she was going to get into his car, go to his house, and have dinner with him alone for a few hours.

…………………………….

There you go, this was the second chapter. Tons more to come in this story, feedback / comments are very welcome. Would love to hear your thoughts 😊

[scorpioracha]

Dating Seokjin

I really hope you guys enjoy this one! I spent the better part of the day writing it and Jin has a special place in my heart as one of my first biases so yeah. Y’all know the vibes, reblog,like,comment and come yell at me if you enjoy it they’re really appreciated and encourage me to keep writing♡

김 석진 Kim Seokjin

-you and Jin met while you were working at a bakery in myeongdeong. It wasn’t your dream job but it payed the bills, especially during rush hour. Extra people meant extra tips, and working the morning rush didn’t seem so bad when the line was packed full of people with Chanel bags and Rolexes, you’re even sure you saw a Mercedes parked out front…

-So you were no stranger to slapping a smile on your face and putting on the charm for some extra won in your tip jar—you even decorated it seasonly—dedicated to the craft,born to the breed…this was not your first rodeo working customer service and from the looks of rent and textbooks it wouldn’t be your last

-When a handsome man walks in you weren’t even phased. You looked him straight in the eyes and asked him for his order. Then asked if he was okay because the pause in between was getting a bit awkward and there were more customers.

“You don’t know who I am”he mumbled, seemingly shocked. You just held back an eye roll strong enough to cause an earthquake and smiled again. Rich people.

“No, am I supposed to?”

-this caused the most heinous laughter you have ever heard and he recovered enough to say he wanted an iced americano and whatever you thought was best. Trying not to side eye him for wasting your time and causing the other customers to get antsy, you recommended him a slice of vanilla cheesecake and he laughed again, questioning if it was too early for cake. You couldn’t help yourself but to laugh too because his was quite something and you just winked at him and promised not to tell.

-you were understaffed that day—as usual, so you also got his order ready. You sent him on his way with a bow and a cake pop snuck in there cause no one really made you laugh on the job. And he left you with a hefty tip that felt like robbery.

-you thought that was the last you’d see of him. Until you started seeing him everywhere. Billboards,tv shows,magazines,posters—hell the bakery even had a poster of his band up in the coming month. You were sure it was him, those lips didn’t just belong to anyone.

-you found yourself looking for him during the morning rush but to no avail, he wasn’t there. He was everywhere else around you though and it drove you crazy. Your squeaky laughed paramour seemed to be gone with the wind.

-until your shift got changed sometime near December. With finals upcoming you needed the mornings to sleep and study, so now you worked closing.

-your first day on closing was similar to any other closing shift. Busy from 4-6pm and then dead the rest of the night. It was peaceful in a way, less tips but between customers you got to relax.

-Until he came in. He was wearing a mask and a hat and bundled up in about a million coats but it was him, you knew it. You had learned his name was Seokjin from your research(stalking) and maybe you were having hallucinations from your third espresso but there he was, staring at you with those beautiful eyes. Then he said the unexpected.

“Ya!”he exclaimed, ripping off his scarf. “Where have you been?! I’ve been coming here every night for the past three months! Do you not work the night shift?! Has nobody told you??”

You furrowed your brows, that’s not what you were expecting. “You could have come during the day time!”you argued. “If you knew I wasn’t here at night, why didn’t you come during the day?!”

“Because I can’t come during the day!”he argued back. By this point his jacket had been hung over a chair and his mask was pulled down on his chin. Damn. It was hard to argue with a man with those lips…

“…and I’ve been sneaking around like a creep looking for you—are you even listening??”

You blinked once. Then twice. Then found yourself laughing again like you had all those months ago. Who new a meetcute in July could make an argument in December

feel like a first date.

“You said you’ve been looking for me?”you said, looking at him with mirth in your eyes. He nods, his own eyes still wide from his ranting and his cheeks pink from adjusting to the warmth.

“I..yes, I just-I just couldn’t get you out of my head”he explained, “I’m at a point in my life where it feels like everyone thinks they know me. It was just refreshing to meet somebody without them having a million and one ideas of who they think I am”

You nod. “Well, I know your name now because who doesn’t, but you’re right, I don’t know you”

“Would you like to?”he asked.

“I would.”

And it was history from there. A slightly bumpy history.

-“do I get a kiss if I say today is my birthday?”

“You can get a slap”

-You two did in fact meet again on his birthday and after making sure(asking to see his ID) you celebrated with a slice of vanilla cheesecake and a candle that was half broken you found somewhere in the break room.

-this all happened in 2016. As the group grew and their popularity, your relationship definitely needed to adjust accordingly. Bang PD was less than thrilled by Jin getting himself into a relationship but one thing we know about Jin is that he’s stubborn🤡 so there was no way he was losing that fight

-you had to adjust to seeing him less earlier on when they were still making a name for themselves. But that didn’t stop you from packing up the pastries at the end of the and hauling them off to the boys at the dance studio. With a little scolding from Hobi that they were going to get cramps eating all these sweets, they were all very grateful.

-But Jin being the man he is made sure to stop in while you were working too. Mainly at night but on the random chance they got a break he’d come in the mornings and hang out in the kitchen, where you had been promoted to part time baker. Usually he brought you breakfast and coffee which you always scolded him for because you worked in a literal bakery but he’d just scold

you back claiming he hasn’t seen you eat a vegetable in weeks. And no it didn’t count if it was in a croissant.

-may or may not have told everyone he knows about the bakery and it may or may not have turned into an idol hotspot.

-don’t be too mad at him he just wants to support his girl😭

-outside of work for both of you guys Jin is pretty…quiet. You hadn’t expected it when you first started dating but that’s just because his guard was still up. Now that you’re happily settled into your relationship he doesn’t feel the need to be on around you. He doesn’t have to make you laugh,be world wide handsome or loud. He could be quiet and soft and wear cute pajama sets while playing his maplestory.

-sometimes he was so quiet in the house you forgot he was there. The world wouldn’t believe it if you paid them a thousand dollars but this knowledge was nice. Something that the world didn’t need to know, that you could keep for yourself.

For yourself and six other boys.

-they did have Jin first and honestly the first time you met them you always shit your pants. God they could be intimidating when they’re sussing someone out, especially Jimin. The hyung line liked you just fine but it did take a while to gain the Maknae’s trust. They’ve never seen Jin date or even think about dating so they were skeptical. Jin was the oldest and therefore a pseudo parent for the rest of the members, so you coming into the picture was different.

-but you’re you so how could you not win them over?

-the once hesitant maknae’s cling to your side whenever you’re at Hybe. Sometimes you swear you see them more than Jin.

“Y/n, let’s go shopping!”

“Y/n, have you seen x y and x?”

“Y/n, Taehyung hit me!”

And so forth.

-the hyung’s enjoyed your presence just as much. Yoongi was relieved someone else could take over as mom—he liked to joke that you two were the real parents of this band. Hobi would laugh at a bottle cap falling so you crack him tf up and namjoon our responsible leader is happy that his members are happy.

(He’s just trying to look cool, you two go on museum outings and have a book swap you do together)

Jin bits!✨tid bits about you and Jin✨

-every anniversary you guys start it off by having some form of vanilla cake in bed. His always with a candle on it.

-he always keeps a hoodie and a blanket in his car because this is not a kdrama and you are not getting a jacket because he’s cold too🙄

-you guys moved in together around your third year of dating, starting off in an apartment near myeongdeong for your job, but now y’all live in a house on the outskirts of Seoul

-if it’s not takeout, you most likely cooked the food for eat Jin. Can he cook? Yes. Does he cook when you’re around? Not unless you ask.

-you guys have so many matching pajama sets

-he cried when you said he wasn’t your bias. Fucking acting school😒

-you now own so much RJ merch it’s actually ridiculous and you asked him to stop bringing so many RJs home. The answer was no🤡

-after years of working your way up the ladder you own the bakery now! Jin wants to retire you because he doesn’t believe princesses need to work but you grew to actually the enjoy the job when you were no longer working cash register.

-his nickname for you is 공주님(princess)

NSFW

-idk y’all but Jin is giving me heavy experimentalist vibes. I think he’s less into the d/s side of bdsm and more into the bondage and the s/m side. He’s got clear limits but since your relationship is established and he trusts you so much he’s willing to try anything once within those limits.

-he also is the type to set the mood for these kinds of play. A spare room in the house with dark curtains,silk sheets and a chest full of all different types of things. He doesn’t really care who’s in charge in bed, that’s not really his aim. It could go either way for him.

-Jin’s kinda play is expensive. It’s nothing but the best for you, for both of you. He’s not one to flaunt his wealth but he’s always been a quality kind of guy. Your paddles? Leather,imported,small business. Your hand cuffs? Stainless steel and cushioned. Spanking bench? Cherry oak wood with velvet cushions baby. You’ve got matching harnesses in pink and white because of course something in here was going to be pink.

-he’s kinda just down for the ride. It’s that Sagittarius sun. You wanna tie him up? Cool. You want him to tie you up? Cool. You want to choke him? He’s down. His limits are around sharp pain and bodily fluids, besides cum because he’s very much so a much when prompted

-you better be ready though because when you get Seokjin in the right mood he is fucking until the sun comes up. This is usually when you’ve both been at an event—always his plus one—and there’s too many wandering eyes and not enough champagne. He’s surprisingly very possessive which you never would have clocked until it was prompted. So yeah he’s not one for sharing.

-he also does not breathe a word of your sex life to the boys or any other friend and he expects the same from you.

-lets just say that condom scandal held truth. because mans right here is packing the punisher. He got the back breaker, the cervix splitter 9000, you gotta be big and bad enough to ride this ride and you definitely are.

-as a trained actor one thing about Jin is he can embody a role. You want a mean dom? He can give you mean dom(after he’s done so so much research because he never wants to hurt you in a way that you don’t like). He can have you on the floor begging on your hands and knees tied to the leg of a chair like a mutt just to hump his shoe, when earlier that day homie was shuffling around the house in bunny slippers and an RJ headband. The duality with this one was crazy.

-he could also be tied up to the headboard of the bed begging you with tears in his eyes to just sink down on his cock and stop teasing him. Pretty pink harness on with pink padded cuffs to match. You know Seokjin and his love for pink, pink hair,pink microphone,pretty pink dick, just the basics yk?

-on the flip side if y’all aren’t in the play room, you’re getting your back blown out on your fluffy comfy king sized bed. It’s passionate, it’s sensual and it’s light hearted because one thing about Jin is he gonna laugh. One of you is gonna make a weird sound and he’s going to try so hard not to laugh, he really is, cause he’s balls deep and now is not the time but you guys make eye contact and it’s over. He’s fucking gone trying so hard to calm himself down.

Sometimes it ruins the moment but most of the time you’re able to pick up where you left off.

-all and all, Jin my first bias that wasn’t a leader, be throwing down in them sheets

[tremordusk]

Episode 5 Theory: Agatha's Trial is not what it seems (Part 2)

Agatha’s trial was actually Lilia’s vision

The beginning of episode 5 starts with the Salem Seven crawling out of the ground with the next shot being Lilia waking up— but did she actually wake up? 

Maybe she didn’t truly wake up from her vision and right from the beginning it has been a vision. So far Jen’s element was water, Alice was fire, so maybe Agatha’s element could be air because of the mind. You could include riding a broom as part of the element of the air motif as well. 

However the Blood Moon bit throws off the rest of this theory. Lilia claims that the blood moon represents “When the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. “ to which Rio claims who better to contact the dead than the one who’s sent many to their graves referring to Agatha. Also, Lilia dispels the idea that she herself can NOT commune with the dead. Moreover, based on Lilia’s claim this means Agatha’s trial is related to the dead (which we did see ghosts) but makes it stranger that ghosts did show up (visions aren’t always clear!). Despite that it could just be a ploy to throw us off from the details of the trial. 

Lilia has one prediction claiming “I hated this the first time!” It’s a very quick instance and very easy to miss, especially since previous times for her predictions have had longer pauses on screen from “I love you guys” to “Alice, Alice don’t.” Whereas this one felt quickly thrown in along with the rest of the chaos. Potential reasons for that line could be it’s a time loop (watching the vision over and over again) or could be in relation to her backstory. 

There was potential foreshadowing in episode 4 with Lilia staring at the stained glass windows of witches being tortured and burned. 

Lilia is shown to be deeply affected by this and is also the one who continues to combat the negative stereotypes about witches. Her hallucination in episode 3 of her freaking out and crying about how everyone was dead could also play into the third trial where everyone turned on Agatha rather quickly and was ready to punish her (similarly to how Lilia’s other fellow witches suffered over the centuries as suggested by the stained glass and her previous experiences). Lilia and Agatha before episode 5 had an understanding and some empathy towards each other for being some of the longest living witches and having dealt with persecution. So possibly Lilia’s vision was directly in relation to Agatha’s trial or potentially foreshadowing through Agatha’s trial of what is to come and her own involvement. 

A theory crafted by another @shutupineedtothink (link here) mentions that the trials could potentially be going in the order of the ballad lyrics “Maiden, Mother, Crone” and representing the cycles a woman goes through in her life. 

Those lyrics are mentioned again during the third trial as well by Agatha. If we follow the theory: (here's the link to it):

https://www.tumblr.com/shutupineedtothink/763640238116683776/trial-order-and-why-lilia-not-agatha-is-last

Jen representing the beginning of life

Alice is the Maiden

Agatha is the Mother 

Lilia is the Crone 

Rio is death

Then yes, this is Agatha’s trial this could prove that Lilia is connected to the trial based on that Mother and Crone are stages of the cycle and the trials. Agatha’s trial did focus around herself but in the end nothing was resolved but everyone was (key word) affected. 

I would also like to point out that of the cards Lilia has mentioned throughout the series she has called out; Three of pentacles, Three of swords, and Knight of Wands in episodes 2, 4, and 5 respectively. In tarot Knight of Wands is a call to action card but its reverse meaning warns to be cautious. Wands in a tarot reading  (based on my experience with using tarot)  if you have many wands in a reading it’s usually hinting that the conflict is in the mind and is not external yet. 

So to conclude this section -> this trial is Agatha’s and it’s unofficial, the beginning of Lilia’s (potentially) vision but it could also be another’s as well.

Following the order “Maiden, Mother, Crone.” Supposedly Agatha’s trial wouldn’t be complete without a younger soul or child because the stage “Mother” is associated with when a woman is raising her children and Crone could be watching your child from afar and still present. 

Enter next part of this theory:

Previous :

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Decided to post the final chapter a day early! No Fun in Fungus chapter 5! I’ve submitted myself to @tmntaucompetition and the submissions close tomorrow if you wanted to submit this au as well! Thank you to everyone for supporting and reading!

@daboyau

@theawesomeninja-xd

@nights-flying-fox

@phoebepheebsphibs

“What did we do!?” Leo shouts in confusion.

“I know there’s something you want to apologize for. Even if it’s not your fault.” Mikey insists.

Leo glances away then takes a breath and looks at Donnie.

“I’m sorry about S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.”

“It seems Mikey can apparently tell the future now because I have no idea why you’d apologize for that.” Donnie deadpans.

“I sent him to go protect gram-gram. He was destroyed because of me.”

“He was destroyed because the Krang loves hurting our family and possessed our extra great grandfather. I’m just glad you didn’t try to do something stupid like face him alone. It would have been your parts I’d have to find scattered around.”

“But….Donnie, you loved S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. How are you not upset? You hate when I break your inventions, and he was way more than just an invention.”

“Are you kidding? You’re really asking me that? I can’t rebuild you! You are not easily replaceable, Leo! I know what I say and how we joke around but I thought that’s just what we did! Do you think I mean everything!? That I want you to be like gram-gram!? Like all the Hamato before us!? No! When I told you to sacrifice yourself to buy us time I said it because you like jokes! I-I didn’t say it so you could go jump into a portal to save the world! Screw the world! Screw all of it if it means I lose anyone!” Donnie ends up tearing up at the end.

Leo feels a lot of guilt creep up inside him. He was very aware about how being in the prison dimension and getting so hurt affected everyone.

At least he thought he was.

“I don’t think that, I’ve never thought that! You guys know I don’t just do this kind of stuff whenever, right?” Leo frantically looks between the three of them.

None of them can meet his gaze.

The guilt turns into a bit of hurt.

“Jeeze, you sacrifice yourself for the sake of the world once and suddenly you’re the craving death guy.” He deflects.

“Leo!” Mikey shouts, eyes starting to glow again.

“You’re joking now? Right at this moment? Am I hallucinating again? You can not be serious!” Donnie joins in on yelling.

Leo looks away from them, eyes landing on Raph.

He’s the only one who doesn’t get angry which surprises Leo. The anger was there at first, he could see it, then it flickered to something else.

Realization.

“You told us and I never thought you were bein serious.”

Donnie raises an eyebrow.

“Told us what exactly?”

“That he jokes to cope. You’re not telling jokes because you don’t care, you’re telling jokes because you’re afraid.”

Leo bites the inside of his cheek.

“I thought I was pretty obvious about it until you guys kept coming after me during the first Shredder situation. If I don’t joke, then I just stop moving and that leaves all of us without portals!”

“Why didn’t you just tell us? It sounds like you were scared the entire time!” Mikey frowns.

“Of course I was! He turned Draxum into a freaking raisin and almost killed dad! How could I not be scared!? What good would telling you I’m scared be? So you could do what? Actually, let me tell you exactly what you’d do. You’d do what you’ve been doing since Mikey rescued me and ignore everything just to make sure I’m okay. We didn’t have the time for that back then.”

“How often do you not tell us how you’re feeling just because it’s inconvenient or a detriment to the mission?” Donnie narrows his eyes.

“Have you considered how much I do say what I’m feeling only for you guys to say I’m being paranoid or messing around? Oh Leo, we should trust the weird spider lady. Leo, stop spraying the bugs to protect this guy from getting mutated. Who cares if we might get hurt during the mutant panic?”

Leo regrets his words as he sees the look of hurt on Raph’s face.

He sighs heavily.

“It’s not on you, big bro. The bigger problem is we kind of all ignore each other? I’m still afraid of bringing up the pizza puffs incident because I’m worried you’ll blow a blood vessel. Donnie got pretty mad about the pizza pigeon too. And then….” He trails off, remembering just how badly he messed up.

“Maybe that’s because we weren’t paying attention to your feelings then either.” Mikey says softly.

“No, what I did was all my fault. You and Donnie could have died.”

“You chose the wrong thing to do, but you were….really messed up, Leo. You didn’t even have much time after your panic attack. We should have taken over for you, or at least try to make you see you weren’t okay.”

“Then….I’m sorry that for as much as I talk, I don’t say what I need to say as much. I’ll try to do better, try to help us all do better.”

Mikey smiles brings him over, nuzzling his cheek against his.

“I suppose it’s my turn now. I am sorry for….a lot of things. I….know how I can be. While I have come to terms with the fact that there are parts of me that I should accept and never change, I do realize what you all put up with sometimes. I don’t always take care in focusing on what you all do for me, small things that can be taken for granted. I want you all to know that no matter what I say or do, I would still personally tear out the still beating heart of anything that comes after us. Then, I would put it on display as a warning.” Donnie says that last part nonchalantly.

There’s a few seconds of silence before Donnie is pulled into the collective hug.

The others are crying.

“Donnie, we love you too!” Mikey sobs.

“That was beautiful, Dee.” Raph sniffles.

“I’ve never heard you say something so emotional, kinda liking the mushy side.” Leo smiles through tears.

Donnie can’t help but tear up too.

He really did love his family more than anything.

Mikey soon lowers everyone down, the chains disappearing as well.

“Can Raph ask how you did all that now!?” Raph grips him by the shoulders.

“I….I don’t even really know. I just thought our family was going to fall apart and it just happened.” Mikey answers.

Donnie glances around.

“Your chains managed to get rid of a lot of the spores. I think the mushrooms must be weak to light like yours.”

Mikey’s eyes light up.

“I can make those things go away?”

“That’s my working theory, but…..I worry about your arms. I’m surprised that they aren’t hurt again now.“

“There is a pretty big difference between chains and opening up a portal to another dimension.” Leo comments, subtly checking over Mikey’s arms.

Mikey hums as he tries to think of a solution.

“Donnie, could you make a weapon?”

He makes a gun and hands it to him.

“Donnie!” Leo and Raph shout.

“Oh calm down, it’s just a dart gun.”

Mikey imbues the weapon with some of his ninpo.

“I need a mushroom to test it out on.”

Raph picks up Leo and Donnie in one arm and Mikey in another.

“Let’s find you one then.”

He carries them all off and together they carefully search for the mushrooms.

Eventually several start making their way towards them and Mikey shoots.

The bodies shrivel up almost right away at the ninpo dart stabbing them.

“Alright Mikey!” Leo cheers.

“If it’s his light that does it….then maybe these will work!” Donnie creates three UV light flashlights.

He hands two to Raph and Leo and wriggles out of Raph’s hold.

“Let’s make these mushrooms which they never evolved.”

The brothers start exterminating every single mushroom they come into contact with.

It feels nice to be able to take out the things that have been torturing them all night.

It’s almost cathartic. They couldn’t truly destroy the source of their fears, but they could waste some crappy mushrooms that triggered their PTSD.

“Do you think that was the last of them?” Raph questions after a lot of walking yielded no more mushrooms.

“When this kind of thing happens in movies, isn’t there usually one big version that controls the others?” Leo answers with his own question.

“I hate where you drew that conclusion from, but I hate that you’re right even more. My goggles picked up a much larger amount of mystic energy in one of the tunnels.” Donnie adds.

“Then we know what we gotta do. Those things aren’t going to hurt anymore people. Everyone on board?” Raph looks around.

Everyone nods with the same look of determination Raph has.

They grab their real weapons for good measure before heading down the tunnel Donnie got the reading from.

He and Mikey walked behind Raph who had Leo using his arm for assistance walking again.

Mikey can’t help but still feel a little afraid of the darkness they leave behind as they walk with their lights.

Donnie gently, purposefully bumps his hand against Mikey’s.

Mikey smiles a bit and holds his hand.

He smiles more when he notices Donnie’s tail wag.

After a good amount of walking, they come across the end of the tunnel that goes to a large opening.

Inside was a colony of the smaller mushrooms surrounding a humongous one.

“Let’s slice him up like he’s going on a pizza.” Raph readies his weapons.

The mushrooms start coming at them all’s

Leo opens up portals to send him and the others to different locations.

Raph mows down the mushrooms with his projection and Donnie supplies some clones with more UV lights.

Mikey jumps and flips around like crazy using mainly his legs as he shoots at the mushrooms. It’s freeing, not focusing on what he can’t do for once.

Donnie made grander, larger weapons with every launch of his ammunition. He let himself go all out. Therapeutic in its own way.

Leo may or may not be taking too much advantage of being able to use his portals again. They were useful in this chaotic fight sure, but it also meant a lot to be able to move around better.

This is the first fight they’ve had since the Krang and each of them felt like they got something back from it.

They keep fighting until the big mushroom finally ends up the same way as all the smaller ones.

The ones that were still alive also followed suit.

Now that the fight was over, they dragged themselves back to their home. It was entirely too late in the night and everything they went through was exhausting in its own right.

Mikey looks up at Raph, eyes almost closing, and makes grabby hands.

Raph feels his heart swell. It’s just like when they were kids.

He lifts him up, cradling him like he did Leo at the beginning of this whole situation.

Leo smiles tiredly at seeing them.

“Remember when you tried to convince me you were older and I said that all big brothers give piggy back rides? I can’t believe you and your big brain fell for that.”

Donnie considers this and suddenly stops right in front of him. When Leo almost falls over on him, Donnie takes the opportunity to get him on his shell.

“I am older.”

Leo rests his chin on Donnie’s head.

“Fine, just this once.”

Raph and Donnie carry their brothers to Raph’s room.

When Donnie, Mikey, and Leo are in the bed, Raph grabs his fluffiest possible blanket out of his collection and pulls it over all them after he’s wrapped himself around.

Donnie had his arm spread over Mikey and Leo who were cuddled up together.

Mikey also held Raph’s tight in his arms like it was the world’s most comfortable teddy bear.

They all drifted off to sleep, knowing that even if there were more nightmares, they’d deal with them.

None of them would ever be alone.

[ohodie]

my camp half blood oc ^_^

YALL SHES ADORABLE

her name is odette van schmidt and she’s a child of dionysus 😇

her story is actually rlly funny tbh. makes me crack up a bit. so here it is

basically dionysus met her mum (a rich socialite) at a party she was throwing for the opening of an art gallery, and it was getting late so everyone was going home. odettes mum looked over at dionysus and was like ‘omfg these old geezers r soooo boring. wanna hit the club?’ and dionysus was like ‘have my baby’ SO SHE DID.

9 months later she gave birth to odette van schmidt: the lying, unstable (possible future addict), drama queen JOY of dionysus.

by the time odette turned 14, her mum was like ‘right. this girl needs to get her ass to boarding school’ bc she could not stop CAUSING A RUCKUS. she was a menace during important parties and events- not because she wasn’t good at parties; but because they weren’t fun. while her mum agreed with her, she had grown out of her party girl phase and had to settle down.

well, odette didn’t fight her mums decision to send her to boarding school. after all, that’s where the craziest shit happens, doesn’t it? especially in new york.

so imagine this: odette van schmidt, the pretty girl with weird eyes and designer clothes CHOWING DOWN ON SPECIAL BROWNIES WITH HER ROOMMATE WHO LOOKS LIKE HOMELESS MAN IN A PRETTY GIRLS BODY.

odette could NOT stop getting into trouble. always sneaking off with her friends, partying her weekends away. by the age of 15 she had developed a pretty bad habit of taking a shot of vodka every sunday morning to get through the preachy ass mandatory services.

odettes mum had enough when she found out her daughter wasn’t taking her meds everyday at 8:00, and was instead lighting up at 4:20.

odettes mum had to call her baby daddy and tell him to pick her up for the summer. odette heard this call, and jumped to the conclusion she was getting sent to REHAB. so she ran.

she ran fast and fast and fast and fast. all the way from manhattan to queens.

ofc odette always saw weird shit. but she just always chalked it up to sleep deprivation, adhd, maladaptive daydreaming, and later in her teens: drug induced hallucinations.

after walking around new york aimlessly for 3 hours to escape rehab, her mum gave her a call.

“hey odette… can you come back home? bc ur lowkey a demigod and I WONT SEND YOU TO REHAB BABY IM SORRY I WONT ITS FINE YOU WERE ONLY SMOKING WEED ITS OKAY BABY-”

BOOM. hellhound right in the middle of the dingiest 7/11 in all of queens.

odette booked it- already terrified by what her mum said, and even more so by this terrifying dog thing.

she ran down at alleyway, hoping to escape the gross mangy dog, but she wasn’t fast or sharp enough to lose it or outsmart it. the hellhound attacked her from behind, ripping through the back of her shirt and leaving a scar that ran across the length of her back.

like that shit was BIG. like, from her neck down to her hipbone.

odette was vengeful thoguh. she was more angry than she was in pain, so she took out her pocketknife and started stabbing and punching that thing away. LIKE. HOW WOULD THAT EVEN PROTECT HER FROM A HELLHOUND??? but then the mutt started chasing its tail and howling like crazy, making it easier to put it down like an old dog.

and poof.

into thin air.

“alright what the fuck”

so there she lay- sitting and panting and wheezing in an alleyway, bleeding out. so she decided to pray,

“god i’m sorry for drinking on sundays! i’m sorry for using bible pages to roll! i’ll do anything to make it up to you!”

“girl, it’s fine.”

all of a sudden, there was this middle aged guy in front of her with the same eyes as her and the worst fashion sense she’d ever seen.

“i didn’t know jesus shopped at h&m…”

“jeez, you sound like ur mother.”

after 10 awkward seconds of silence, odette passed the fuck out. bc her back is a war zone. obviously.

when she woke up the next day, she was at the most rank hospital she’d ever been to. but all the doctors were cute. they were all blonde and spoke like poets and had such gentle hands. but they were wearing the most atrocious orange shirts.

good thing I’VE got STY-

odette looked down at herself. “are you fucking kidding me.”

orange was not her colour. it was purple.

after she got all healed up, two blonde 13 year olds who looked just like her arrived at the infirmary. “hiiiiii welcome to rehabbbbbbb”

“oh my god i’m actually going to kill myself”

castor and pollux eventually cleared up mostly everything about camp (after fucking around with their new older sister a bit more, of course), and proceeded to take her to get some food in her tall ass stomach.

she ate. and then she ate a bit more. and then she complained. and then she asked if her mum has her ‘crazy meds’. and then she asked for new clothes. and then she called her mummy and asked her for new clothes or perfume or anything. and then she walked over to the big house to complain about something again.

and as soon as she walked through the doors, screaming about how she can’t party with a torn up back- she was claimed.

“oh my gods odette. we have your stuff. its fine. it’s cool. you’re my daughter btw. and no drinking at camp.”

“… why would my mum fuck a guy who shops at h&m?”

“I DO NOT SHOP AT H&M, I AM A GOD-“

odette blanked. she wasnt really good at faces. much better with names. that’s what u get for being a history buff who can’t make eye contact i guess.

“… which one, sorry?”

“… dionysus?”

“oh. that checks out.”

[teecupangel]

Oh jeez. Saw the far cry 6 ask, and what if Desmond was in far cry 4? Would he just be a seemingly random guy hanging with Yogi and Reggie (and tripping/seeing nirvana/isu)? Or would he be trying to live a peaceful life as a llama(??chickens?) rancher in the mountains and no one else seems to be willing to let him? Does he listen to the radio and go WTF???

The Desmond in Far Cry 6 ask for those interested.

Sooooo… I did think about Desmond becoming a rancher in the mountains and just chilling with his llamas (named Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton, one of them is a female llama XD) but then I remembered that Pagan Min is voiced by Troy Baker and, whenever Troy Baker and Nolan North are in a game together, it’s tradition for the characters they voice to have some kind of connection to one another.

This means, as someone voiced by Nolan North, Desmond is gonna have to be caught up with Pagan Min one way or another.

He could just be someone who had been raising llamas at the outskirt of Kyrat, living a peaceful life…

Until two men high up their ass decided to try and catch his llamas because they believe the llamas are pegasi that will fly them out of Kyrat even without their passport.

Desmond finds them amusing because, even in their high state, they said one of the llamas told them they can’t fly them because they don’t have passports.

One of them even threatened to kick them to death.

Desmond was betting the violent one was their high version of Altaïr. That llama fought off a goddamn bear long enough for Desmond to get there with his hunting rifle, after all.

So Yogi and Reggie starts visiting Desmond, first to apologize for trying to steal his llama and helping fix the fence they kinda tripped over and destroyed during the ‘chase’ (it was more like the llama chasing them though, their screams were what woke Desmond up after all) and, after fixing the fence, they sometimes go there to just chill and talk to Desmond while eating Desmond’s homemade meals.

Desmond is actually in Kyrat because he’s now officially retired.

He knows there’s a dictator, of course, but he also knows that the Assassins have sent someone to take care of it and Kyrat’s current political ‘standing’ makes it impossible for Abstergo to even get a foot inside.

Of course, people in Kyrat don’t trust Desmond a bit but he just stays in his small farm with his llamas, growing his own food and living a peaceful life.

… until Yogi and Reggie brought a delirious man in his farm, claiming him to be an important guest but… uuhhh… well… they may have given the man an experimental batch of their drug instead of the usual stuff and now they don’t know what’s going to happen to him and they just need Desmond to look after him while they get medicine or something, make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit or bite his tongue off, pleeeassee.

Desmond does this because they look really scared of the man dying and then, the following day, Reggie and Yogi returns…

With Pagan Min.

Because apparently…

The man they left with Desmond? The man’s name is Ajay.

And Pagan Min would like to personally thank Desmond for taking care of him.

When Ajay wakes up, he’s in one of the more secured buildings Pagan Min owns with a man named Desmond who has been kidnapped as well.

And he’s planning on escaping because because he’s worried about his llamas.

Ajay is there for the ride but, unfortunately…

Pagan Min does know who Desmond Miles is.

To be more exact…

The Assassin that the Brotherhood sent over?

He’s been turned to one of Pagan’s most loyal followers.

Paul Harmon.

And he’s been quite honest about who Desmond Miles is.

The only reason why Desmond was able to live a peaceful life in Kyrat is because Pagan Min didn’t care about him.

But now…

He was an honored guest who helped Ajay survive what could have been a bad case of hallucinations (not really, the worst Ajay did was mistake Desmond as his late mother) and help Pagan Min ���rescue’ Ajay.

And the building they’re in?

It’s been modified to keep an Assassin not ‘wanting to leave’.

Cue Ajay and Desmond trying to escape this building…

All the while Pagan Min is trying to ‘bond’ with both of them.

[astro-naut9]

TRAVIS AND VERIN!! (Idk how to respond to tumblr stuff

HAHHAHAHA wellllll .... uh, Taivas and Verin... ermmm.... Okay, this is gonna be short since I could barely rp as Verin in the server because of reasons that's really not personal i just dont know how to explain thr reason BUT ANYWAY brace yourself— or not

Okay, so lets start with Verin first. Verin is basically from the Pirates Era, aka 1600s to 1700s, and had been doing typical pirate stuff since he was a little boy. He was trained for it even, but a day came when his crewmates fucked up badly. Now, he's no Captain or a first-mate. He was just some crew, a cook, and a cleaner. Despite that, he did try to warn the others of another ship. A very big ship. He told them, no don't fuck with them, and his crew was like, yea we fuckin with them. So uh, yea shit went down.

Verin survived for some reason, and since his crew all died stranded on a very big island, he decided to run away and hide. He is a coward, fyi. Pirates can't be cowards, but he's built diff 💯 ANYWAY, he found a place. Decided to get in — woopsies, it was a WITCH'S HUT!!! He got mistaken as an intruder (he is, actually, he was just in denial) and the witch cursed him and sent him to the void. BUT! The witch made a mistake so instead of sending Verin to the void, he was sent into another universe.

Boom, PRIDE SMP PH HELL YEA

Anyway, Verin dropped to Taivas' airship and passed out. Taivas got curious (poked the unconscious guy. rude) and decided to keep him for a bit. Verin woke up confused, then began bothering Taivas with questions because almost everything from the PSMP did not exist in his world. Taivas, interested from where the other came from, had agreed on a deal to help him. So the deal was that Taivas will help Verin get back to his dimension in exchange of some stuff from that universe (which, well, idrk but Verin's world is so boring actually its just ours. i guess a toaster could be an exchange).

Buuuut Verin is really, uh, idk what you call it but he goes off sometimes, disappearing and coming back. Unlike him, Taivas gets lost so he helps him out as well. Anyway, with Verin being lost, he had uh, discovered something that was about to turn his life into shit: Engineering.

Taivas was an engineer and he had watched him create some stuff from a distance. He wasn't good at it, but he was trying to learn just by looking at his friend's work. So, he set out one day to gather some materials for the ship that he was planning to build. Unfortunately, unlike his universe, there were monsters that appears during the night. So, he got in a way with one; a skeleton with wither powers (its not a wither skeleton!!!).

It hit Verin in the chest and had to call out Taivas (no phones whatsoever, but its like a walkie-talkie but message stuff. Yes, Verin knows how to read and write). Taivas took a long time trying to save him. Verin noticed something weird about his own body, and asked if Taivas sees it. Spoiler alert, he didn't. Taivas didn't see shit so Verin shrugged it off as a hallucination. BOY WAS HE WRONG!!

Anyway, that strengthened the deal. Both of them had agreed to just go live together. Verin as a former cook of a pirate crew decided to be the cook for Taivas. It uh changed the deal— Verin now cooks for Taivas as Taivas helps Verin out in finding his dimension. ANYWAY, they live together, help each other out, yada yada.

And for the deal, Taivas became a witch to understand more of witchcraft as Verin did say that a witch had cursed him to be here. Like oh wow im not inlove w u n all but i would totally learn witchcraft for u my buddy!

Then, Taivas came back home with a uh subtle change. Warden stuff. He had an obsession with it and Verin did notice but he didn't say anything about it. So then, Verin also had some changes— not subtle. There were black sharp fragments growing out of his body (theyre extra bones, actually. wither bones). Taivas noticed it and called him emo (HE IS NOT EMO!!!). He didn't get it whatsoever so he js ignored it until days passed and both of their uh, changes evident.

Taivas was more sculk-like now, with blue-ish skin infecting his body and Verin was becoming more pale and dead, with the bones becoming bigger and obvious. It was sticking out on his body but blood did not come out.

So then, Taivas had begun infecting his surroundings with sculk. Verin disappeared more frequently. Taivas missed eating his favourite (cabbage rolls) without Verin being present so he tried to look for him and stuff and then... well more to come i guess... there's already a plan for the both of them we've made but thats for another time :)

[jade-of-mourning]

guess whooooooo

so I don’t want to be agitating and I noticed you said you’ve been busy but I genuinely do not remember if I sent you an ask recently or if that was a dream?? so if I’ve been bugging you pls just ignore me I will not be offended 😭🙏🏼

the reason for my presence in your inbox today is because I was looking thru the mako tag and saw ur avatar mako snippet. I then began to experience Thoughts and decided you might enjoy if I shared them :33

what I’ve been thinking about is the possible dynamics of this au because. tragic backstory x avatar is something we didn’t quite get w korra because all her Avatar Trauma happened during the show. however,,, mako and bolin got that orphan swag

so for one I wanted to reference one of your older posts about mako and lin having a history across each other at an interrogation table. just imagine how she feels seeing the little brat (who she’s almost certain is zolt’s little prodigy) turn out to be the avatar who she now has to tolerate and work with to protect the city that never gave him shit.

and besides the early momboss and detectiveson feelings (linzin reconciliation?? kyalin reveal????) the other dynamic is just mako and republic city as a whole. this was actually kind of touched on in canon w how korra had to acclimate to the entirely different world of a revolutionizing industrial city, but instead it would be mako learning to cherish the streets that had chewed him up and spat him back out.

another reason this would be cool is bcuz it already happens in the show as well. despite mako’s character being completely abandoned after the love triangle, his becoming a cop kind of shows that he has grown to want to protect his city. being a police officer in the atla-verse means you have a real devotion to your city—under a boss like lin, you just get replaced realll quick if you don’t (eg, those two guys who pissed on mako when varrick framed him for domestic terrorism or whatever was going on there).

it also can’t be only for money, because if it was he would’ve gone back to probending; something he was just indifferent towards. anyway, what I’m trying to say is that somewhere offscreen he had that development in view as he grew to want to protect the city for more reason than that it would keep he and his brother safe. so essentially, in the avatar mako au, he goes through that development earlier, when he’s still a kid.

this would probably also affect his personality. if he was taken care of earlier on, he wouldn’t have stonewalled himself away out of distrust for the rest of the world. so basically he’s a snappy, sarcastic little bitch by canon because he never taught himself to bite his tongue or die—it also parallels him to korra (cough and katara cough) a bit more which I thought was nice.

I just totally lost my train of thought but uhhhhh,,, sorry for the long ask. hope you’re doing okay :)

much love

🐌

HI SNAILON!! i'm sure you saw my very late response but yeah dw you did not hallucinate that ask kjsdffgkjfsdh

anyway!!! i'm enjoying your avatar mako thoughts so much omg. mako and bolin really do got that Orphan Swag:tm: and i do love a good trauma backstory avatar. (still no one could ever compare to korra but shh we all know she's the most superior avatar of all time in our hearts…)

woah i forgot to think about the potential of lin & mako's relationship in the context of the au as a greater entity. aughhhhafjkhafdhk she's probably be pissed as hell at the start; i feel like tiny avatar!mako is absolutely the stiff bitter kleptomaniac sort specifically designed to get on lin beifong's nerves like no one else and that would agiatate her SO MUCH. but i think that over time as she starts to see him for what he really is and sees a little more of the good in his heart, she'll… actually she'll still treat him pretty harshly because now she doesn't like that she sees herself in him, but she has a greater amount of empathy for him and in vulnerable moments, i think that she would actually turn out to be the adult figure that mako would be most willing to seek out, surprisingly.

also yes i'm really excited to explore how mako rekindles an actually kind relationship with this halfway awful city. i really want to steep it in culture and i think i'll project my experiences in taiwan onto it because it's such a place of all time. the idea of hole in the wall restaurants that could not possibly meeting the hygiene standards and the owners are tough and impersonal but also they're the most natural people to be around, and the food is the best you've ever tasted for the cheapest price possible as you hop from sagging overhang to sagging overhand, never sitting down for a full meal but something about the perpetual motion is so comforting. anyway. republic city taiwan allegory. just really want to write about that, roughly.

i agree about the point of cop!mako :P even though i have complicated feelings about his assumption of a role that had been one of the primary institutions that enforced the system of how he and bolin lived as kids, i also think that he views it as a twisted form of redemption for himself as a child that i frankly think he doesn't have to assume moral culpability for, but i also understand that it's the sort of tangible thing that i think a guy like him would need to ever feel worthy enough of living. i have a lot of thoughts about this that i will have to condense into actual words sometime later…

i'm a big fan of mako actually getting to express his salt. i think that canon mako (and bolin, to an extent) takes a great amount of effort to restrain the Absolute Heathen that he was raised as in order to fit in with this impossible to understand high class society. (it's actually a point i'm going to explore in the fic with this version!) but yeah i feel like there's a lot of carefully trained-out language and habits that must exist in both mako and bolin who are trying so hard to not be perceived as the children they were, because their public images are very dependent on the exterior that they put out to the world. they need to be passably proper to get a fanbase which might land them support from higher up people which might land them a sponsorship which might enable their team to actually rise above as underdog which might lead them to win the pot which might let them finally build a lives for themselves. anyway. honestly avatar!mako would absolutely be hypermonitored by tenzin about his vocabulary and habits (coughing at this excerpt i wrote some time back: "He forces his breath to settle in his chest and forces himself to be grateful that he doesn't have a cigarette that he can lose himself in; he doesn't need Tenzin catching one more of his bad habits to take away from him."). but i think that in the presence of korra who will piss him off SO MUCH he won't have the same qualms about trying to fit into high class society because he'll have settled into this actual protection and stability provided to him by adults for the past several years, and he'll allow himself more to slip back into cussing her out with the vehemence of a Trained Asshole. it'd be funny trust.

i dont think i enunciated that very well but i have also had many thoughts on language and habits that mako and bolin forced themselves to eject for the sake of their precarious position in society. i think that it's also an ingrained part of them that when they're older along in life and have more stability, i like to imagine that they might end up casually incorportating back because their lives don't depend on their manners LOL. older mako would be only half the foul-mouth that his younger self was but asami would still be extremely mortified tbh. and bolin would just be COMEDY ohh

[lonespektr]

SEPTEMBER 30TH HORROR WATCH

Nanny (2022)

I have been trying to watch this for a week

Me and this internet tusslin chile

N e way

Senegalese immigrant to US nanny to white family

Anna diop Goddess

FIWINE ASS sinqa walls adonis

It's a horror movie because you cannot get to them through the screen

Okay so mami wata story

So far there's just weird vibes in the ytpipo house?

Sinqa (malik) is the doorman at the fancy building they start seeing each other

Annas character ( aisha) is having visual hallucinations

She has a kid back home from some guy who was messing with a bunch of school girls and now there's drama with that family

She's in the city alone but making friends with other immigrants from other African countries

And nannies

She's teaching that child french, feeding her jollof and reading her anansi the spider

Malik grandma is a wisdom, a seeer, a sensative

She has a mami wata painting and i WANT IT it's beautiful chaotic colorful

I don't have any art on my walls

Malik revealed his moms was schizophrenic and in a bad way- she passed a while ago

Failure of system for black mentally ill ppl

They not paying her what she do

The white husband just kissed her after saying he was gonna get her money shes owed

She BIT HIM!!! HA!!!

But also there was like a hallucination of herr??? Being a seducer???

Woah time jump WTF

MERMAID IN THE POOL MERMAID IN THE POOL!!!!!!

She drowning her oh she woke up back at the right time

Oh no big fight with mom

Mom mad she eating real food

Then aisha come with receipts saying it's no food in the damn house and she buys her own and subsidizes the kid lunch

Mom said you lost my kid one time (she ran off in the park for idk few mins got out into the street)

She said my bad but you still owe me a hundred dollars

Mom doesn't push really cause it was obviously an oversight kids run out of parks unlike never buying groceries for a month

She said pay me Ave ill be back

It's clear they are in a fancy house but underwater

But also choosing to stiff the nanny when they could cut another bill

Child tantrum

No what is going AWWN SIS the girl keeps disappearing

Bleeding knife bathtub she having a breakdown

Girl said she not gon tell because anansi made her flip out because

Bump bump bumm

Jealousy about the girl when her kid is not with her

Oh shit yea did the nanny cam catch it

She sent the money to get her kid the flight is there no kid

Bruh the friend watching her kid came on the plane

Her kid drowned and she never said anything

Just got on the flight to America

She seemed like was just going to dip when she got to America and never say anything

Just take the money

She jumped in the water

But malik fished her out

THAT'S IT

😮😮😮😮😮😮

DOUBLE FEATURE

A haunting in venice (2023)

"Scary stories make life less scary."

Still wtf does this guy do???

Delightful puppet show

I love old timey puppet shows

Venician masks

Games are foolish check on father pobreceito

Not her enabling the kids canoodling 🤣🤣

The costumes and set are legit

The sceance is for a dead daughter

Lol she said nemisis and not in a very sarcastic way

Medium neither big nor small

Dropped that lovely chandelier

Rats in the walls

No credit for theaterical timing

Suicide driven via the kids

Ex bf??

Literally don't understand why ppl just i would have kicked him out

No crystal ball

A type writer

Boy said I talked to ghosts and they say you are full of shit

Busted lol confederate in the chimney magic typewriter

And now the theatrics increases

I appreciate the silence during the theatrics to highlight how silly it is

They are not even addressing her subterfuge

Lol bobbing for apples

COVID

An attempted MURDER

Oop

Bruh they fucking already

Dude 🙄🙄🙄🙄 the only reason I'm watching this is for her now she dead

Lol yea she was a nurse

That woman like i hate this place bad vibes

The kid with the books insists she was a fake Ave he hears the voices

Standard who done it

It was obviously the writer from jump but once everyone is in league it's boring

The guy just not interesting enough his character is too silly to be a Sherlock type guy and the voice is silly

They tilted their hand too early for the mom

And it amounts to misogynistic tropes

A desperate mother

A charlatan woman

Yuck zero stars

Let's try again

TRIPLE FEATURE

No Exit

Rehab

The self absorption of addiction

Rehab or jail

Mom sick

She busted out/ stole a car

Storm hit

Local community center opens up

She found the girl in the truck

Already promised to get her out

Dennis haysbert has been outside twice and woke be the prime suspect

What's wrong with BS?

Lol you never played BS ?

Bruh what that's not how you play

It's an allowable variation though

The problem with this variation of the game is if you flop back and forth it's easier to spot a liar and easier to keep track whereas if you go in order you would have to remember what was played 52 cards ago

She's trying to get intel on everyone via the card game

The weirdo stereotype has an explosion loosing at cards

She decides it's him and tries to dial 911

No one has had service the whole time obvs snow storm

So so busts into the car

The girl has a medical band but i didn't catch it

The guy busts in but she is very small and hides under junk in the big ass creeper truck

He's talking violent

Until he leaves

He has a gun

This guy seems borderline

He finally notices the footprints from the van

The issue is

Dennis haysbert character is ex military and now that she knows it's not him why didn't she just tell him as soon as she found out???

Fake kiss to throw him off the scent

Okay she told the young man

He still thinks it's her though

Why wouldn't they tell the ex military man

Knew it was him from jump obvs the attractive one 🙄🙄

Upset the stereotypical mentally disturbed guy is involved though

They did play it that they didn't know each other the whole time though

Why would her silly butt not just go back into the main room with them??

There's something to be said about addiction and being alone and not asking for help

Okay second time silence being afraid to reach out for help has resulted in someone not being rescued

Yea this is literally just an inability to reach out

The girl dips and they use our protag as bait to smoke her out but it's a literal snow storm they can't find her

Mr and ms common sense go outside and find the girl

So now the protag the nurse the ex military have the girl

But the girl is half frozen and needs her meds now it's a stand off

The kidnappers threatening to burn the center down they got a gas can

Completely plausible i have a gas can in my lil car they got a old van goin over a mountain

These boys are being put up to by their uncle (not actual foster dad)

OMG she's in on it

Apparently the girl is a little shit

And the wife is a maid for the rich family

The marine gambled all their money away

Like the house and everything

Another everyone's in on it

But in a better way

They are trafficking the kid

Boom he shot everybody quick

Knew he would get popped, too useful

The ex nurse current maid

Nailed gunned her to the wall ooof

Like in the wrist though major artery

Brutal

I'm 100% for the attractive guy being the villain but also two murders is hot like you gotta be a real sociopath for that or very disregulated he wasn't either they should have like advertised that a bit

Ooof

Just got a text her mom died

I think he thought that would break her but this dumbass doesn't realize that just freed her up to be wreckless

Nothing to live for

Her pending texts obvs went out when the mom text came in

About the kidnappers to her sis

Lol not snorting the coke she found in the car as a pain numbing agent

Shes free

He really does care about his brother

She's holding him hostage

WHOA the lil girl swiped at him holding the nail gun it went off hit the brother in the head

Woah now it's getting silly he tripped on the blood of the other two bodies face planted and the nail went in the rest of the way

Cop arrived

Her dumbass (or coked up ass) shot him while the cop was there so obviously he shot her

Shes a bad shot the brother shoots the cop

He goes back to finish protag but she knofes him

(after some more implied sexual assault via gun)

Protag should be dead but she is on coke so maybe not feeling too much

She radioed for help i would say they would have found them anyway the cop would be missing but possibly not before they all bled out/ froze to death

48 days rehab now

Her sister finally visits after a month under her belt

Fin

[howl-fantasies]

Hey! It’s me again, after a while; I was wondering )if your requests were open) if I could request a oneshot about (Gotham) Edward Nygma alongside any other Gotham charecter, who have a very pristine and classy significant other who they work alongside, and one day said S/O is sat in their apartment (or place of residence) with their hair in rollers, with a face mask on, eating some sort of fast food watching, some reality TV show like ‘Say yes to the dress’ and is acting very different to their usual somewhat glamorous self.

I thought of this a while ago as I have recently been able to relax as my uni work load has been put on hold for the summer holidays! Woo Hoo! Anyway, I appreciate your work and Ishiguro do not wish to complete this request that is absolutely fine.

- Elsie x

Hello there dearie!

Oh my lord, I absolutely love the concept! Gotham's men NEED to learn nobody never wake up with a full makeup on and don't turn on themselves like the Sims when they jump out of bed to look perfect. I had so much fun imagining our guys having a mental breakdown seeing their S/O "off" mode.

So, here it is :

GOTHAM VILLAIN WALKING ON THEIR S/O WHEN THEY ARE ON THEIR "OFF" MODE

EDWARD NYGMA / THE RIDDLER

Edward was having a "meh" day. One of those during which nothing seems to surprise / interest him. It happens, you know, him being a genius and all, he sometimes finds himself being bored. But you, his stunning, witty, classy partner would know how to make his day better, he knows it.

Unsuspecting, he used the spare key you gave him a month ago and walked inside of your apartment, ready to see his day brightened by the simple view of your impeccable self. How lucky of a man he was.

"Dear?" He would call when you weren't here to greet him like you usually did. He sent you a text before coming, he was certain.

He heard the noise of your TV, pretty loud, so it was why you didn't answer. Was it also why you didn't read his text? Strange, he pictured you more like the kind of person to be lost in a book or something. But that was ok, he also had his times when he needed to put the thing on, to hear the news about him, for instance. Though, the high pitched female voices started to make him doubt you were watching Gotham News.

Nevermind, he followed the voices to your living room and brutally stopped when he saw the back of your head. What was the bright pink fluffy thing in your hair?! He had to open his mouth when he hear you. "Are you kidding me, look at you Meredith?! You look like a freaking pièce montée with that!" Did you hurt your mouth or something, you sounded like something was stuck inside of it (not something under 18 here, everybody keep calm please!)

"My love?" He asked.

"Oh fuckity Shitty Fuck!" You screamed, making one hell of a jump. Now on your feet, you were facing him, absolutely horrified.

You decided you needed to let your "on" mode cool down a bit today and since no robbery nor abduction were on your calendar, you wanted a little "off" time mode only for you.

Off time, meaning here: putting a bluish moisturising mask on your face, putting your favorite pink rabbit ears headband, your fluffy pajamas and slippers. You ordered a pizza earlier with soda and finally decided to watch your favorite trashy tv show. And here you were. Gawking like an idiot in front of your boyfriend, who looked like he was considering calling a priest to exorcise you or something.

"Ok, Ed. Please don't panic." You said, making an appeasing gesture with your hands.

"Don't panic?! Don't p-... Dear, what happened?! Did you encountered Jerome and he forced you in a weird disguise? Or am I hallucinating?!" He squeaked suddenly reaching for his wrist to check his own pulse.

Ok, he was totally panicking... "Ed..." You called again with a sigh, feeling your hand brush against your dry mask on your forehead. "Dear, it's not an attack or a prank or anything. I'm just taking a little time for myself, like... pampering, see what i'm talking about?."

Hearing your resigned voice and the little bit of annoyance in it, he stopped his frantic health check. Ok Eddie, time to think like a grown man.

Please make some space for Mister Riddler in his inner mental theater. Y/N is a human being, pretty much like him. A beautiful human being with a sumptuous as-... *Sorry Ed had to mentally punch him to keep him on track.* Ahem, like he was thinking before being brutally interrupted, Y/N is a human. Like him they have morning hair, don't always wear makeup nor impeccable clothes, and they must have to work hard to keep their skin so smooth and beautiful and...

"Ed?!" Now you are the one looking for his pulse. When you caught his gaze, you find this little light, you know, the one meaning someone FINALLY had put two and two together DUH.

"Y/N, I got it." He said, putting his hands on your shoulders and taking a long inspiration. "Of course i did. I'm a genius. Pampering, taking a self-care day, feel comfy and all..." But he suddenly turned you around to face the TV, "I got everything, except this! I mean, what the hell is this?!" He had to point the tv with his index for good measure.

He never watched "say yes to the dress." Of course he hasn't. Poor dude was too busy cracking puzzles and riddles. He's pretty confused here. You will have to explain how in hell this trashy thing is helping you feel relaxed.

Or don't, after all, it could be a pretty good opportunity to explain your lover you both have your hobbies and have to respect it ;).

Would totally be ok with you taking care of his skin and his nails. And the man would be super proud of it let me tell you. If someone messed with his fresh manucure, he would immediately turn to you / call you and apologize. "I'm afraid, we'll have to plan another self-care session my dear. Sooner than expected". (Relationship goal here!)

--

OSWALD COBBLEPOT / THE PENGUIN

Oswald being Oswald, he would HAVE to walk on you on one of his worst days.

His mood was terrible and he seriously was in need of a good hug, a good vent and probably his mother “special bad days” tea. 

Since you moved in with him a few weeks ago, his first words to poor Olga when he went through the main doors were “WHERE IS Y/N?!” of course he had to yell even if the woman was not even a meter from him, taking his coat, hat and umbrella with a calm we all have to acknowledge. The maid will simply point in direction of the living room, keeping her smirk well hidden. Poor boy is up for a good and well deserved shock in here. 

Oswald would limp in a rush to you, grumbling like an old man all along, and couldn’t wait to have you listen about his terrible day and the bunch of idiots he had to deal with. 

“What the hell happened?!” He heard you scream in outrage when he was a few steps away from your position. He felt a smile growing on his face. Of course you would be concerned about his distress, you were like this with him, a worrywart, but his worrywart and he was the same with you. 

“Thank you! Someone at least is able to read the mood in a room”, he had to say, glaring at Olga who, again, shrugged and get away to dust the stairs. She wasn’t going to miss the show. No way. 

“No seriously, what happened to you poor thing, what did they do to you?”, Y/N cooed from the couch. 

Finally, Cobblepot emerged from the hallway, his mouth ready to answer them when all the air he took to do so was sucked out of him. “M-My dear?” He called. 

Y/N tensed on the sofa. Oh dear hell. Oh no. 

No excuse was good enough to explain your current state: slumped on the couch, a tiger face mask, bright yellow and blue unicorns air clips and the worse? Fluffy pajamas with a penguin and a polar bear walking hand in hand on the snow, with the sentence “Take it slow in the snow” sewn under them. No. Nope. Nu-uh. You were doomed. 

 Y/N smiled awkwardly and made a stupid little wave with their hand. “Oswald...Dear...Well...Hello?” 

His deafening silence was maybe worse than his higher screeches. When he finally opened his mouth, they were covered by the sound of the tv. “Oh my god, yes! Yes it’s the one!” 

His eyes followed the female voice and took a long look at the screen. “Is it “say yes to the dress?” He suddenly asked. 

You were dumbfounded a second, frowning your brows but finally answered a low “yes?” 

He would stay silent and resume his walking until letting himself fall ungracefully next to you and start to watch. 

“Oswald? Are you ok?” 

He nodded once, his eyes still on the screen. “Mother used to watch it with me and we would talk about my day.” 

Oh. Oh! Ok, Y/N can definitely make it their ritual. “Want to do it dear? I have another face mask and was about to ask Olga for another tea. How does it sound? 

Sounds perfect. Cobblepot will 100% adopt this ritual and talk about his terrible day while you apply some cucumber on his tired eyes. He knows how to do perfect manucure (mommy boy, remember?) and would help his S/O with their nails, hair, skin... everything. 

Their self care is as important as taking Gotham’s throne. Anybody interrupting them would be dead. And “Say yes to the dress” will stay, giving the two the perfect opportunity to bond even more about fashion. Oswald is also a very talented tailor after all, so he knows what he’s talking about. Enjoy!  

-- 

VICTOR ZSASZ

Since when didn’t he stalk you? A day or two? He was letting his guard down. What if you suddenly decided to run away, change city, were shot by a lunatic... and here it goes, his brain started to panic. He was pretty busy lately, thanks to Jim, Harvey, and every idiotic cop in the city suddenly realizing their job was in fact to arrest criminals, not taking their money and looking the other way. Aah...Good old days...

Anyway, nothing now was about to stop him to go to his S/O. Even if you gave him a key, (please don’t) he would prefer to pick the locks of your door, you know...for the thrill and everything. And, I mean, I you’re lucky enough to have survived Zsasz, it probably means you have some strong sense of self preservation and weren’t foolish enough to give the sadist your keys. 

When your door finally opened, he went inside of your flat like a shadow, grinning like a madman about the idea of giving you the scare of your dear life. God knows he loved to make you jump and see the rush of adrenaline in your body. 

Your TV was on, he could tell, the sound of a few people resonating inside of your flat like they were with you in your living room. 

Another sound made him stop for a second: someone drinking the end of a soda or a milkshake. Super loud at that. Who would have known the perfect little Y/N, always sipping their beverage like a posh aristocrat was enjoying a cheap one like any commoner on earth. How funny. 

You wouldn’t even realize he was next to the couch. Not until you heard him giggle stupidly making you scream bloody murder and throwing your now empty milkshake at his head. 

Being the troll he is, Victor would dodge it without even giving you a glance and lazily point at the screen saying something stupid like: “the previous one looked better uh?” 

Don’t strangle him on spot. Or do it, not sure here what he may enjoy the most... 

When your heart would finally stops its marathon, you would be able to take a better look at the picture: him, standing next to the couch arm, his left forearm on the top of the furniture, his right hand on his hip and his legs crossed, taking a good look at you, his S/O.

Currently rolled like a burrito in a fluffy purple plaid with only your head, hands and socks visibles. Are these little pizzas on your socks and headband by the way? And are you really wearing a panda face mask? 

You were ready to punch these questions back deep inside of his throat as soon as he will ask them and make him gulp his stupid smirk. Though, you weren’t ready for his gaze to shift from your eyes and face to your table and the “is it pepperoni?” He stupidly asked, pointing at the pizza your were eating earlier like an hungry wolf. You hoped he didn't see it...

Breathe, in and out. It’s the key.

"You really are full of surprises, love." He teased, too happy to see your obvious discomfort.

Option A) giving him the middle finger. Proceed with caution though, he's really good at shooting fingers.

Option B) Scream ugly profanities at his dumb face. Good to vent, but he wouldn't give a f. Just enjoy it more and more.

Option C) slouch back on the couch and throw him the pizza's menu. "you pay for the next and the milkshakes." And wait for his lazy ass to seat next to you, because he will. Oh. And if you feel confident enough, don't hesitate to slap a ridiculous face mask on his already ridiculous face. Yes he doesn't give a shit about looking like an idiot but you wouldn't be the only idiot in the room anymore. 👍

--

A/N - I hope you liked it, have a beautiful day dearie 🥰💐

[itsapplephie]

The first time the first generation black dragons met you was when you were crying and apoligizing? while beating up some black dragons members and some rival gang members in some random alley on their turf. They might be hallucinating or something but they're pretty sure they heard you offer a quick prayer for the men that you beat up before promptly passing out.

A woman with tattoos who was smoking came out from one of the backdoors and exhaled a puff of smoke before moving towards you. They just watched silently as she picked you up and slung you across her shoulder before entering where she came from. After making sure that she was not going to come out, they helped up the black dragons member who you beat up. The rival gang members was tied up, to be interrogated in what happened.

When the beat up men woke up, they were immediately questioned on what happened before being sent off with fear of you. According to them, you stumbled upon them on that same alley that they saw you in, fighting and one of them bumped into you causing you to let go of the cake box you were holding. The next thing they knew is that you were taking them down one by one while crying and apologizing for beating them up. It was now known that you were a dangerous person to mess with.

The second time they saw you, you were working in a ramen shop as a waiter. Shinichiro somehow convinced (more like begged) Takeomi to treat them out on some ramen, and here they are in a small ramen shop with you serving them. You were quite energetic, even engaging in a conversation with them which surprised them, you were a completely different person when you're not fighting.

The third time they met you was in school, how did they even not know that you're their senior? You were a year above them, and was part of the home economics club as their vice president. Shinichiro was confessing to one of his female classmates, making her late for her club meeting and you were tasked with fetching her since she asked you before to help her with something.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing to my dear junior, haa?!", you approached them while rolling up your sleeves while holding a frying pan?! Shinichiro immediately stopped and was intimidated by your fierce aura. Eeep! You were scary!

"(Y/n)-senpai!", the girl cried out in relief while she pushed past Shinichiro who was standing still towards you. "(Y/n)-senpai, Sano-kun is being a creep again!". Okay now that just broke his heart. He wasn't being creepy! He was only trying to confess to her! (That was his 15th confession and rejection!)

"Oh? Aren't you that guy who leads the black dragons?", you pointed at him with your frying pan which made him flinch a bit, thinking that you might hit him. "Y-yes, I am"

"I'm sorry for beating up some of your members last time", you laughed awkwardly at that. You totally weren't sorry but you did need to apologize since it was your fault for walking in that back alley. "I wasn't exactly thinking straight during that time". He just nodded dumbfounded, why are you even apologizing for beating up some of his gang's members?

"Well that's just about it, we'll go now. See you around, Sano-san!".

Shinichiro just stood there as you left with his classmate. He might have developed a crush on you right at that moment. Takeomi, Wakasa and Benkei was curious on why Shinichiro was silent during that day. They did manage to get some information from him, apparently he saw you again and you were attending the same school as them but you're their senior. From then on, the 4 boys decided to befriend you and made it their life's mission to bother you. But they did be careful, they don't want you crying now do they? They did make that mistake when Wakasa made you drop the lollipop you were holding, he needed to be bedridden for a few days and you were constantly apologizing to him after that.

And that is how you became friends with Sano Shinichiro ("The guy who was rejected 20 times in row, ha" "(Y/n)-chan you're hurting my feelings!"), Akashi Takeomi ("Omi-chan!" "Please stop calling me that"), Imaushi Wakasa ("Waka waka-kun~" *sighs*), and Keizo Arashi aka Benkei ("You're like a titan, Benkei-kun!" "Hmm"). Befriending you was the best choice they had ever done!

[tootiredmotel]

For @one-more-offbeat-anthem 's 1k follower celebration. The prompt was "sickfics" and I've never written a sickfic in my life so, naturally, I adapted a scene from one of my comfort movies (Fever Pitch, 2005). HUGE congrats on your milestone love!!!

read on ao3 or below (1.5k words)

Castiel should've known better than to listen to his brother regarding food. They have wildly different palates, and why he agreed to accompany Gabriel to lunch at some newly-opened new-age restaurant with barely any reviews, he'll never know. He wasn't thinking.

He could think even less that night, hunched over the toilet with food poisoning while his date knocked on his apartment door.

As soon as he could, Castiel scrambled to his feet and wobbled over to open it, his over-excitable golden retriever on his heels. Dean stood there in a nice leather jacket, all dapper and first-date-ready with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, and it broke Castiel's heart to have to tell him:

"I'm sick."

He was sure it was evident in his eyes, death breath, hair sticking out in all directions from holding his head above the toilet, but he said it anyway.

"I'm really sick, I'm sorry. Come back tomorrow."

Castiel went to close the door, but Dean took a cautious step, bouquet forgotten at his side. "Sick how? You in pain? Do you need anything?"

"I just-" Castiel swallowed forcefully. "I ate at this new restaurant and-"

Just thinking about it made him run to the bathroom again, and he almost didn't make it on time. He barely registered Dean, still at the doorway, say something about Castiel (Cas, he called him) not needing to fake it if he didn't want to go out with him. A few seconds later, the door closed, and Castiel (still puking) thought that was that. He blew it with the handsome schoolteacher, all thanks to his brother's awful culinary taste.

His dog's wasn't so far behind. "Honey, please don't eat that," he reprimanded her, failing to shoo her out of the bathroom.

When he felt he was done, for the time being at least, he tried to stand. He was weak, and for a second he thought he might split his head open on the toilet seat, but then Dean was there, hands on his waist, helping him up. "I got you," said Dean, over and over again, and Castiel believed him.

Dean helped him to his bed where he tried to sit him down, but Castiel must've been weaker than he thought. He flopped backward, and then Dean cautiously lifted his head and placed a pillow underneath.

"Thank you."

"Got some more comfortable clothes? Something to sleep in?"

It's then Cas remembered he was already dressed for the date, slacks and a white button-up (probably grossly stained, he hated to think), and pointed Dean to a drawer.

A second later Dean was gently hoisting him back to his feet, strong hands at his sides, saying "Here, I'll help you change. Promise I won't look. Too much, I won't look too much."

And that actually made Castiel chuckle.

Dean unbuckled and took off his slacks first, replacing them with sweatpants. It was a slow, quiet process, and Dean only spoke up after he'd taken off Castiel's tie and shirt. "Alright, I gotta be honest, I'm looking. Sorry, Cas."

Cas couldn't help another chuckle. Dean was incredibly respectful through it all, careful not to touch any skin unless he had to, which was mostly to keep Cas from falling over. He slipped a t-shirt onto him and laid Cas back down on the bed, this time with his head where it was supposed to be. That's when things started to blur, when his head hit the pillow.

"I don't think there's anything left in there, but just in case..."

Cas, through hazy vision, noticed Dean putting his empty hamper next to the bed. He thanked him, repeatedly. Cas isn't sure how many times he said it, over and over again, thank you.

"Hey, no, you just get some rest," was the last thing Cas heard Dean say before he was out like a light.

Cas suspects he briefly regained consciousness three times during that night.

The first time, he's sure of. He felt a hand on his shoulder, slowly coaxing him awake. "Here," Dean said softly, placing a bottle of Gatorade with a straw in it on the nightstand. "Drink this if you can, alright? Get your strength back." Cas nodded and fell back asleep.

The second time was more questionable, and he only knows it was real because he saw the results of it in the morning. He slowly awoke on his own and saw Dean in his bathroom across from his bedroom door, wearing rubber gloves and scrubbing away at the toilet with a sponge. Cas tried to stop him, tell him no, please, you don't have to do that, really, but couldn't help sleep drag him back down before he could get the words out.

The third time is the most unbelievable. Borderline fantastical. If it was real, he might just have to marry this guy.

Cas thinks he saw Dean brushing Honey's teeth.

Out of everything that happened the night before, that is all he can think about as he steps out of the shower in the morning. He plans to call Dean, send a fruit basket to his school, invite him on the best date of his life to repay him for all he did, and ask him. It's going to sound ridiculous, did you brush my dog's teeth or did I hallucinate that, and Dean will probably turn down his invite. If not for the hell he went through that night, then for Cas being insane.

And then Cas finds Dean asleep on his couch, Honey snuggled into his side. And yeah, he's probably going to marry this guy. This schoolteacher who happened to pick him and his office as a field trip destination for his math kids. This adorable guy that came back later that same day, thanked him for getting through to the kids (which Cas didn't think he had, but he digresses), and then asked him out. This unbelievably sweet guy that Cas initially rejected, god knows why, but then called at his school and left a message for, Saturday at seven, here's my address, because he couldn't get him off his mind. This caring, thoughtful, heaven-sent guy who showed up with flowers, now in a vase on his dining table, found Cas with food poisoning and proceeded to take care of him, his dog, and his apartment the rest of the night.

Before Cas can think about marrying him again (which he was going to, the hopeless romantic), Honey startles and jumps off the couch, waking Dean. Cas doesn't move, just watches as Dean sits up, notices him, then sits up straighter.

"Hey! Hey, how you feeling?" Dean asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. He put products in his hair for the date, Cas notices, because it's now stiffly and adorably messed up.

"Much better. I won't be entering any pie-eating contests any time soon, though."

"Too bad. That was my next date idea."

Cas smiles, the words next date making his heart flutter in his ribcage. His question pops back into his mind.

"Did you, um..." Don't ask about the dog, he'll think you're crazy. He decides to go with "Did you clean my bathroom last night?" even though he knows the answer.

"Me? No."

Well. Cas thought he knew the answer. Probably dreamed it too. But then who-

"The vomit elves came in," Dean continues. "Real cute. Little hats, miniature vomit bags, adorable. Efficient too."

Cas is stuck somewhere between smiling so wide his cheeks hurt, and shaking his head while rolling his eyes. "Did the elves brush Honey's teeth too?"

"Oh no, that one was me."

And that has Cas laughing in earnest. At the sound of her name, Honey came bouncing back, settling next to Dean on the couch.

"Not letting the little bastards take credit for that one. This sweetheart loves me, and I earned that myself," Dean says, scratching Honey between her ears, enraptured.

"Dean, thank you." At that, Dean looks up. "Thank you. You could've just left, but you chose to stay. And you went above and beyond. Thank you."

Dean looks away and stands, trying to play it off with a wave of his hand. "Nah, it was nothing."

"It was everything," Cas says stepping forward, placing a beckoning hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean finally looks at him with a barely-there smile and a gaze that wants to escape, but he fights for it to stay on Castiel's face. Cas is glad he does, because he needs Dean to see, understand, how grateful he is.

"I uh... I got you these." Dean reaches for a paper bag on the coffee table, and that's when Cas takes his hand off his shoulder. "Some movies."

"Such as?"

"Mostly anime porn," Dean says, and Cas is doing it again, the chuckling/eye roll/head shake combo. "And some stuff I like to watch when I'm not doing great."

"Well, for me that would be documentaries."

"Wait." Dean blinks. "What? What did you say?"

"Documentaries. Preferably environmental, or perhaps historical in nature."

"No way, you're not gonna believe this," Dean says, a bit too much surprise on his face. "This is insane dude, check this out..."

He reaches into the bag, and Cas half believes he's about to pull out a copy of Disney's Earth. He's delighted to be wrong.

"Roadhouse."

Cas laughs again, and the beaming smile on Dean's face is what convinces him. He is definitely going to marry this guy.

[dorimena]

𝕻𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞 𝖕𝖙.𝟏

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; monoma neito

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 5.1k of filth,

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; nsfw, Overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, degradation/humilliation, cursing, cockwarming, crossdressing, school girl kink (?), mommy kink, pegging, cum play+eating, dom!fem reader, sub!character

𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; whiney Monoma, loud sex, Monoma in a skirt, soundproof dorms, mentions of other 1B characters, aged-up character, Monoma is 18 in this

𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; this was meant to just be some long fic, but I find it easier to just divide it into 2 parts while I figure out how to write out the scene I actually wanted to get to. I got carried away. This is what I've been doing during holy week. My religious school would be ashamed of me. This has been proofread, but if there are still any mistakes, I apologize.

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔦.; incomplete/in progress.

Monoma had a shit week.

It all started on Monday when his school pants ripped conveniently from the back as he bent down to pick up his fallen notebook. They didn’t even look like they would rip! So how did they...? All he could hear during his inner turmoil and growing embarrassment were murmurs of pity, whispers of curiosity, and his homeroom teacher calling his name countless times to send him back to the dorms to change. Permission slip in hand and underwear out, he silently nodded and made his out, all while ignoring a burning sensation in his eyes and sudden dryness in his throat.

(Walking out the doors with his blazer tied around his waist, he swore he heard a familiar giggle and mockery coming from a smart-mouthed girl.)

Tuesday came bulldozing so suddenly that it ran over him. Well, really it was Yaoyorozu’s canon that almost ran him over. 

The day, in general, was normal, none of his classmates made comments about the minor incident the day before, well, except for Y/N who asked if he sent his pants to be fixed or not. (He didn’t, so she demanded him to hand it over to her.) He didn’t go back to the dorms after their last class, since he has to carry out classroom cleaning duties after he accidentally pushed Bakugou into the mud last week. No, seriously, it was an accident. First off, he didn’t see the mud. Second off, he was messing around with Kaibara’s quirk, which spooked Nirengeki who was somehow walking close by to the hot-headed explosion man- and… well, Monoma mistook Bakugou for Honenuki. For some odd reason. How insulting to his intelligence and great memory skills.

So after such a tiring task of brooming, wiping, dusting, and inspecting, he expected to be knocked off his feet with whatever Kendo decided to cook for dinner, not Yaoyorozu’s canon. God, and he shrieked! Who fucking shrieks?! He’s 18, he’s not supposed to shriek! Unless you’re pegging him just right-  

Wednesday only sucked because you canceled your biweekly study session in favor of hanging out with the girls in 3A. Now, regardless of what people still say, he has matured and slowly grew out his competitiveness and “jealousy” over class A, and doesn’t really have much issue with most of them (mainly because Shinsou somehow helped him become more “friendly”). However, how dare you choose the girls over him! You’ve never done that. 

(And whether or not he was moody and pouty is just a hallucination of yours, he swears it.)

The only bad thing, if you could even call it that, that happened on Thursday was that it slipped his mind how much time he had left to use Tsuburaba’s quirk and lost against his good ol’ pal. 

Friday though… Friday was just really weird and he hated how it only felt weird for him. Maybe it’s pent up frustration with how the week went? Maybe it’s the pouty baby in him still being butthurt over Wednesday’s missed study date? Maybe it’s you staring at his legs and ass? Maybe it’s the way you look so delectable in your hero outfit? Maybe- well, now he was just overthinking it, and he rarely ever does! He was tempted on asking Shinsou to, y’know, brainwash him so he could forget this weird feeling of him feeling weird.

Now comes Saturday. 

Today is Saturday.

Today is 10:06 pm on a Saturday.

You’re over at his dorm for the already mentioned biweekly study date. He should feel happy, considering you brought over some snacks, ordered take-out from his favorite French restaurant, even played with his hair every time you guys had the 15-minute study break. 

But he’s not happy.  He’s not unhappy, but he isn’t happy? Again, the weird feeling he felt the day before hasn’t really left and it’s been crawling around his skin, only getting worse when he saw you coming in with pants. 

It’s not supposed to make him feel not happy, but you usually come over with a cute skirt or dress, showing enough of your thighs and panties to keep him up at night, fantasizing about them wrapped around his head, suffocating him as he eats you out so delicately or ferociously, littered with his desperate bites and kisses, making him whine out in horny pain-

“Monoma?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed in worry as you ditch your phone to look over at your whining boyfriend. “You okay there?”

Shit. He must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts. “Yes, I am perfectly fine, darling.”

Now that’s weird. He’s speaking so softly, and he only ever does that after he’s cum at least a few times, or when he’s totally relaxed and ready to call it a night. Well, there are those few times where he lies and he speaks about the same.

Humming, you smile sweetly at him. 

“Are you sure about that, baby boy?”

Oh, that sent a shudder through his body, his white shirt suddenly feeling too thick and his shorts feeling a bit constricting. In other words, he’s now turned on.

He stays quiet, however, because he feels like his voice will give away his actual feelings, whether it continues being soft or it decides to crack and show how he’s ready to give himself away to you.

“Neito. I asked you a question.”

“No, mommy! I-I mean, I don’t know…” He huffed out, embarrassment now outweighing his neediness. God, why did you have to pull out the mommy card?! You’re so wicked. Did you not know how horrible his week was and now you want to be mean to him?

“What do you mean by that, baby?”

“Well, I’ve had a horrible week, mommy! You should know that!” 

“Don’t dare yell at me, Neito. Mommy’s trying to be patient and understanding, but if you’re going to just be a brat, then I should just leave you in time out, right?” Monoma gawked, his whole body and attention turned towards you as you got off of his bed, arms crossed and disappointment showing on your face. Really? You’re disappointed? Just as he opened his mouth to talk back, you spoke first.

“And here I brought one last gift for you. I’m here trying to be such a caring, doting girlfriend, and you start making assumptions about my efforts? Bad boy!”

Wait, gift? These were gifts? Oh! You… you were trying to comfort him? God, guess he was a bad boy. 

Seeing him deflate, eyes losing whatever snark they possessed, you sigh and walk towards your bag near the door. And this made him stand up so quickly he lost his footing and slightly fell forward, shocked that you could be leaving already, which you aren’t. Startled by his sudden movement, you quickly take out a plastic bag and hold it in front of him to show the last gift. 

It was quiet between you two, staring at each other before looking down at what you are holding. 

“What is that?” He’s the first to speak, blinking as he tries to figure out what the dark blue item could possibly be. It’s pleated, though, so-

“Is it the skirt you’ll change into?” And you laugh, shaking your head as you walk back to the bed and sit. 

“Not me, baby. You will change into it.” He’s going to be wearing a skirt? 

Blinking once more in confusion, he giggles awkwardly before frowning. 

“You’re joking, right?” Now it’s your turn to frown.

“No.” And you smile confidently. “I promise, if you wear the outfit in here, it’ll lead us to the actual last gift, hm?” You bat your eyelashes like a little girl asking her dad for a new Barbie doll, or whatever it is they bat their eyelashes for. You’re curious to see what he’ll do.

And you didn’t have to wait long for his decision to be made.

Sitting on your naked lap, thighs trembling in either overexertion or overstimulation, is a certain sweaty, defiled blond male with gorgeous teary, periwinkle eyes trying their best to focus down on you. 

After he swiftly and elegantly changed into the outfit, it came to show on his mirror that this wasn’t some random crop top and skirt combo, but a whole schoolgirl uniform: apart from a cropped school girl top and the pleated navy skirt, there were white thigh highs and cute hair clips. 

Turns out, you misunderstood his ‘subtle’ hints of some kinky schoolgirl skirt sex; you thought he was offering, with the way he’d bat his pretty eyelashes at you and stare at your skirt during lunch. Really, he was implying you stay with it on, somehow. 

Regardless of who was wrong, the fact your pretty boy is squirming uncontrollably with your strap-on deep inside him is something you just have to engrave in your mind. Who knows when you’ll be able to buy another skirt his size? You can’t wait to render it useless.

“Y-You’ve been thin-thinking for too-oo long!” Monoma whines, bringing a hand to wipe away his bothersome tears he doesn’t want you to see, huffing at the end before moaning loudly as you roll your hips upwards, the tip of the dildo teasing his sweet spot.

“Mm, I didn’t say you can speak yet, did I? Guess mommy spoiled you too much.” Sneering, you shift on the bedsheets under you while placing your hands on his thighs, slowly raking your nails upwards. You try your best to avoid the white thigh-high socks, not wanting to make him ticklish and forget why you’re even touching him there. 

Monoma shakingly gasps, squirming even more as he tries to have his pathetic, precum weeping dick grab the attention of either one of your hands but ends up staining the clothing covering it. Rolling your eyes, you smack the hairless skin hard enough to watch it quickly flush red and hear him groan, whether in pain, arousal or both.

“Stop it. You’re making me angry with how selfish you’re being. Isn’t mommy supposed to be satisfied first? Or did you forget our rules, baby?” 

“N-no! No! No, I- no!” Is whining all that he can do? He’s been whining or moaning for the past hour, with the occasional groans or gasps. You don’t want him to only whine, you need to see him cry. 

Cry prettily as he did on Monday when he thought no one was looking back at the dorms.  Watch him struggle to keep his whimpers of humiliation at bay. Make him forget all about his silly pride and stupid competitiveness against a class who doesn’t really see him as a threat, but just a crazy motherfucker (or so says Hagakure.)

“No what, Neito? ‘No mommy! I do know the rules!’ or ‘No mommy! I forgot the rules!’ C’mon, baby. I thought you knew how to speak properly? Now you’re making Bakugou seem eloquent.”

Oh no, you’re upset at him. Monoma gasps in offense, though, at the implication that the anger and pride-driven Bakugou is better than him at speaking. Ouch, okay, that actually kind of hurt but it was kinda hot? Kinda not? What’s wrong with him?

Yeah, what’s wrong with him? You’re expecting him to go on with his speech of how Bakugou isn’t anywhere near his expertise and social skills, how he’s clearly more coherent than the other, or the typical ‘how dare you’ sentences. What you didn’t expect was him to whimper and clasp his hands together as if asking for forgiveness so soon.

“No mo-mommy! I do know! Th-The rules, th-that is! I know ‘em!” 

“Then you’ll stop moving so much and let mommy continue marking you? If you do, and I’ll be repeating this for the last time, Neito, mommy might let you cum first, mm? Sounds good?”

“Ye-ES!” Okay, maybe you should’ve waited until he answered to land another slap on his thighs, although this one was close to his dick. Oh well, at least he’s making other sounds, but no struggle or tears. 

Leaving nail marks around the pale, smooth skin, even carving your name on both thighs with light scratches, you’re in awe at how he’s trying not to move too much. Then again, he is your sweet baby boy, who thrives and gets off of making you proud of him and cumming because of him. 

Lifting your eyes from the satisfying reddening skin to his face, you’re struck with awe again: finally, as if some god were listening to your wishes, you see him blinking rapidly as a new batch of tears quickly accumulate on his lashline and slowly trickle down his red cheeks before being furiously wiped away by him. Seems like this has been going on for a bit, seeing how his eyes are slightly red and his hands, clasped back together, if not tighter, look kind of wet. He didn’t want you to know he was trying not to cry and then failed so beautifully.

Gosh, and here you were expecting him to be a brat, to defy your authority over him, to challenge you like he usually does. 

(If only you had some mind-reading quirk, you would’ve known he actually had been planning his next moves.)

“Good job, baby! You let mommy mark you so pretty with her hands, and look! Mommy’s name is on your thighs, so that next time you touch yourself you won’t forget who you belong to- I mean, who you’re a baby boy for.” 

You’re basking in happiness, in pride, in complete bliss while he thanks you in small whimpers, hips twitching and hole clenching around your strap. Right, you forgot how long he has been cockwarming you; guess he deserves an even better award. He never manages to hold back for so long when sitting on your silicone cock.

Rubbing your palms around his thighs without moving your stare from his face, you command him to put his hands to use and lift the hem of the skirt, getting a good show of a new dribble of precum dropping heavily onto your pelvis. His dick is even shaking just as much as his body, pulsing even more than any other past encounter. It’s also competing against Kirishima’s red hair for the title of the “most red thing ever to exist”. 

Monoma’s opening and closing his mouth, eyebrows furrowed in question and silent begging.

“You can speak now.”

“M-Mommy, you pro-hah-mised t-to make hn-me cu-um!”

“...Watch that tone, little boy.” You glowered before continuing. “Remind mommy what she promised you and explain why you deserve it.”

Now you’re being unfair again and Monoma doesn’t want to deal with how you’re suddenly trying to milk out his responses to the way you want. Crossing his arms and glaring down at you, he mutters, “Wh-why should I? Did y-you forget?” 

Humming, you move your hands to his hips, rubbing your thumb on the cheap material covering them before beginning to lift him off, at least trying to. “Guess mommy should go back to her room since her baby boy decided to be a little bitch.”

“No!” That’s startling on both your ends hearing such a loud, anguished tone come out of him. Bottom lip trembling and quickly putting his hands to grip tightly at the skirt, Monoma holds back a sob. 

“I’m so-sorry, mommy! ‘m not a-a, um, little b-bitch. I’m sorry.” Ending with a whisper, he slowly puts all of his body weight down on your lap, wanting to keep you there and make it impossible to lift him off, and hangs his head in defeat. (Really, it’s because of shame, but you’ll never hear that from him.)

Do you not realize how hard he’s shaking? He can feel his heartbeat in his ears and hear it from his brain. He’s all sweaty and flushed red, his pupils dilate every time you look deep into them. He’s seen the way your eyes light up when glancing at his weeping dick, and he loves how wet it looks, it feels, it sounds, whenever he shifts. 

Most importantly, other than his neglected manhood slowly turning a shade of purple, his prostate has been teased for so long that he just wants to ride you hard enough to find bruises tomorrow and hypothetically ‘destroy your cock’.

“If you’re sorry, you’ll tell me what I want to hear. I’m not going to repeat what I asked for.”

Gulping to ease down the shame building up in his body, he lifts his head enough to catch your gaze before softly responding. 

“Mommy, um, promised I-I get to cum… she’ll m-make me cum if I-I stopped movin’ s’ much.” Goddamn it, Monoma, get yourself together! “I d-deserve this be-because I stopped. Was a g-good ba-um, baby boy.” He loves hates it when you make him do this, even if not often.

Satisfied with the answer you’ll probably only ever hear once and as clear as possible, you nod your head. 

“Then fuck yourself on my cock, Neito.”

No need to repeat yourself. Every little noise he tried so hard to hold back, every twitch and shudder he tried so hard to subdue, every twist of his face to show off the agonizing pleasure is quickly overcoming his insides and dick.

He’s whimpering so loudly, so shamelessly, as he bounces greedily on your lap. Loud and wet skin slapping against each other, and you at first thought, through every lost huff of air, that it’d be his ass connecting to your lube-covered thighs. Instead, your eyes shift towards his crying cock, the way spurts and spurts of precum are left on your lower abdomen, how this furiously blushing extremity keeps slapping itself onto you with every one of his desperate bounces. It’s even wetter than moments ago, you would’ve thought it’d be lube.

Monoma opens his eyes, which seemed to have closed at some point, and looks down at your face, huffing out airy whines of ‘what’, not knowing what you’re looking at. His dick has been wet with his precum for the past hour, so what could be new?

Until he looks down at himself and is mesmerized with how his dick, heavy with unreleased cum and flushed with blood, is tainting and slapping against your beautiful skin with his horny juice- wait, how stupid is he to refer to his precum as ‘horny juice?’ 

Stupid enough to forget to close his mouth and make his built up drool mix in with the mess below, his whimpers and whiny moans turning into high-pitched cries of your name and loud moans, a normal person would worry about their neighbors. The more he stares at himself, the louder he gets and the sloppier his hips gyrate.

Until he suddenly feels the tip of the toy punch against his prostate. 

“Ahn! AGAIN! A-aga-again! Nngain!” Monoma screams, eyes crossing and welling up with old and new built-up tears, ready to drip down. He’s gripping and pulling the hem of his skirt in all directions, his hands never staying still even when a light rip could be heard upon a harsh pull. He recreates the same move, thighs quivering and tensing, begging to be closed. Each accurate hit to his sensitive spot forces out a louder cry and threatens his tears to let loose. 

His movements get sloppier and lazier. Seems like he’s tiring out, which isn’t good. Sure, you’re hoping to make him cry with pretty tears and ugly sobs, but you were also hoping to make him do so repeatedly. Then again, if he’s tired out, there wouldn't be much fight or snark from him and maybe you can still make him cry freely. 

Good thing you know how to execute fantastic sneak attacks against him.

Under the pillow where your head is situated, you reach for a not-so-small device that kind of looks like a walkie-talkie. Monoma sees this when trying to focus his sight, tensing up at the thought that maybe you were recording this for some benefit or blackmail. But why would you want to blackmail your own boyfriend? Had he done something not to your liking?

The answer came in the form of loud buzzing and sudden quaking starting from deep inside him. 

“Wh-wh-wha-what is- hnngh, st-sto-op!”  Monoma wails out, almost falling onto your body with how powerful the vibrations are churning hot inside of him. His vision is getting blurry, blocked by the tears that finally, finally are let go and kiss his cheeks with every hot trail left behind. 

“You, oh, want me to stop?” He can kind of see your wicked grin, the mockery in your tone and amusement oozing out making him let even more tears fall. Why would you want to stop? 

“St-sto-op?! No? N-no! No! P-pluh-plea- nnnghh!” 

Ah, so he’s gone dumb. He doesn’t realize he said to stop. Well, now you can either continue watching him break on your lap and admire the waterfall of precum and fresh tears and make him continue working for his orgasm; or, you can tease him some more while turning up the intensity of the toy, now that it’s pleasuring you for once. The way it tickles your clit is enough to make your panting much more noticeable and thighs tense. You wonder how a setting at 4 could already drag out such reactions from the blond male. Enticed now, you decide to go with the second choice. 

“P-pluh-plea…? Didn’t think y-you’d be stupid! Where did m-my smart-mouthed baby go? Ugh.” 

“N-n’where m’mmy! ‘m h-here- Fuck! Fuck, pl-please! Please! Mo-more? Nngh!”

“You’re slurring, b-baby. But, you a-asked politely.” You hover your thumb over the ‘+’ button, hips grinding upward to drag out some more tears, more cries, more whimpers as you melt into the bed.

“Mommy’s g-gonna count to 10, al-alright? Ugh, then you’ll c-cum, mm. Understand?” 

You’ve never seen so much eagerness come from Monoma before, well, not unless it’s because he knows he’ll win at something or get to prove his worth even more. But the way he nods reminds you of a bobblehead: empty in the head, cute to look at. 

“G-good. Don’t forget t-to keep riding m-mommy’s big, th-thick cock.” You then lower your voice, sending shivers down his spine even with how hot he feels. “Understand?”

You don’t wait to see more of his eager nods. You press down on the button until it reaches the maximum intensity, which makes your hips jolt up so harshly, thrusting the silicon toy back up to him that it’s enough to make him squeal. Now that’s new. 

As much as you’re enjoying how satisfying the stimulation is on your wet cunt, you can’t help but moan out loud Monoma’s name as the boy’s reduced to short-lived squeals and rapid hiccups, so rapid that you’re beginning to think he might be hyperventilating. Worried, you bring your thumb to reduce the intensity before feeling him grind so desperately on your lap. So without any more distractions or hesitations, you quickly begin the countdown.

“Ten.” Monoma repeats with a strained moan, his hands flailing about as he tries to grab purchase onto something, letting go of his ‘forgotten’ skirt.

“N-nine.” Monoma finally plants his trembling hands onto your shoulders, pinning you down enough to give enough strength to his arms. Hovering over you, you frown at his skirt-covered dick. 

“Ei-eight.” Monoma tenses his thighs as much as possible to stop the shaking. Even if it didn’t do much, he begins riding you again with more vigor and desperation than previously. A high-pitched whine of your name quickly leaves him as his sensitive dick receives friction from the fabric covering it, the stain that had dried over time reviving as more precum marks it.

“Seven- shit.” Monoma’s trying to look down at you. He can’t really see much of anything, not with his tears never stopping or his mind not setting back into an intellectual phase. He can barely think to say anything else but lewd chants of your name and ‘please’, ‘more’, ‘faster’. It’s not until he moans out a timid “f-fu-ugh- fuck!” that you pay mind to the rapidly growing heat in your stomach.

“Six! Fuck, Neito!” Monoma’s continuous chants and growing volume suddenly sound babbled as he drools down on you, his saliva hitting your chin before you growl up at him. No words are exchanged as he swallows the liquid that had accumulated, although with difficulty. His thighs are beginning to burn and shake with exhaustion, quaking even worse than when he was cockwarming you. His riding turned into hard bouncing, finally stealing your breath away physically and providing some movement on the other end of the silicone toy to press harder onto your clit. 

“Fi-five!” Monoma’s eyes cross for the second time, staying longer in that position as he chokes on his scream, all because you’re beginning to meet up with your own thrusts. Your feet planted on the bed as you let go of the control for the vibrator, gripping onto his hips tightly to match him with you. You’re beginning to moan so sweetly, gasping out his name loud enough for him to-

“Cl-clo-ose! F-ugh-fuck! Fuck! Clo-oooose!” 

“Ho-hold it! Hold i-it, baby, a-almost the-there!” God, the heat is growing so deep in you that you know this will be violent.

“Four- shiiit.” Monoma’s sobbing now, ever since you told him to hold it. Mission accomplished, so far. He’s blinking rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears and allow him to actually see you. He needs to see your lewd faces, ignoring the fact he is probably rivaling yours. The intense need to cum is building up far too quickly for him to even catch up and he just wants to cum right here, right now. But if he does, you’ll punish him. So, he tries his best to hold it. 

“Three! Three, Neito!” Monoma’s trying so hard to not cum, to not even think about it, but how can he if his prostate is being overstimulated and his cock keeps receiving such familiar friction, enough to make him sob even louder. He’s not going to make it.

“T-two! Lif-ft your sk-skirt!” Monoma can’t or else he’ll fall on you. But you’re grabbing onto him so hard that he hasn’t felt the need to support himself on your shoulders. Using whatever energy he has left, he throws himself up to his old sitting position, making his bouncing sloppier and unsynchronized with your thrusts. He quickly grabs onto the wet hem, biting his lip as he tries to swallow and control his sobs. Lifting it, he’s rewarded with the sight of his slick covered cock, so red and noticeably throbbing that his eyes slightly roll to the back of his head.

“One! Fuck, one!” Monoma’s mouth opens wide, his throat constricting as every choked moan and cry tries to escape while his ass begins to tighten alarmingly fast around the toy. He jumps when he feels something wrap around him, quickly looking down at himself again to see, then feel, you viciously stroke him. And that does it.

“Cum.”

Monoma gasps as he relaxes his thighs and lets go. One more hit to his prostate and he’s…

He’s quiet.

Your eyes are as wide as dinner plates as you watch him reach his orgasm: on you, in all his beautiful glory, is Monoma Neito. A guy whose back is arched at a certain angle you’re sure it’s uncomfortable. A guy whose nipples are completely being seen through the drenched crop top. A guy whose mouth is leaking trails of drool, but not as much as his eyes are leaking streams of unstoppable tears. A guy whose face is so red and sweaty, his bangs are striking to the skin and his eye color pops out more. A guy whose only warning of his cum leaving his body, as much as his soul had, is to roll his eyes so violently to the back of his head and convulse forward.

You forget about your orgasm as you try your best to support his body in the current position, not wanting him to fall on you or backward. Well, maybe you should’ve let him fall onto you.

His cum spurts seem to be gold medal Olympians in ‘how far can we reach’ and ‘how much can we be’. The first one barely misses your eyes, but the second one hits you on the forehead. With each spurt leaving his twitching cock, Monoma hiccups whiney and loud words of gratitude and mercy, hips jumping up, torso jolting forward. His knuckles are white upon the unforgivable grip he has on his absolutely ruined skirt, slowly but surely being dirtied with each load forced out of him with the still-buzzing toy inside him.

This whole scene is enough to remind you about turning down the intensity of the vibrations while grinding slowly, both to help milk him out his incredibly overwhelming high and to bring you back to the tip of paradise. 

By the time he’s done, he nearly collapses on you but first lifts himself, somehow, off of the toy before leaning back onto your lifted thighs. He’s still twitching, the color of his face slowly coming back as his eyes dry up from the tears. The socks have moved a bit down on his legs and most of the pretty hello-kitty themed hair clips are barely fastened on his hair. You’re pretty sure some are littered around the bed.

Monoma’s eyeing his mess curiously and taking in a cum-covered you before he scoops up some of his cum, tastes himself and you both moan softly. You turn the toy off, still rolling your hips as much as possible to ride out your harsh, hot, and wet orgasm. You’re pretty sure you somehow squirted, but that doesn’t matter too much right now. 

Because the moment Monoma came back to his senses and made eye contact with you, you find yourself living in a slow-motion picture: with a shaky hand, he uses the same fingers to write down his first name before scooping up as much of his excess cum and, without any warning, moves forward to thrust his fingers in your mouth, dragging the pads of his fingertips down onto your tongue as you swallow. 

Pulling his fingers out slowly while giggling breathlessly, his signature smirk grows onto his blissed-out face.

“H-how do I ta-taste, m-mommy?”

[jeweledstone]

Y’all ever have a dream that might as well be a full fledged anime or something?

I had a dream a while ago that was so complex and mildly interesting that I just HAD to make a post about it. I’ve also drawn some supplemental pics cause why not?

Timeline wise, this dream took place when I was still in middle school. I was going to a different school than the one I went to irl while my family and I were staying at what I assume was a friend’s house. At one point in the dream, I was walking back to the house from school and went through an area that had a bunch of Christmas lights in it. While walking through it, I got tangled in the lights and was electrocuted by them until I passed out.

Now, this is where the story starts getting a bit crazy, I remember waking up in a wheelchair in the hospital after being electrocuted. Apparently someone found me (think it was my parents) passed out and took me there. Upon waking up I noticed something… “off” about my right arm. Something… “different”…

Yep, another FUCKING Spamton TF dream. Though this one provides a more complicated explanation/has more relevance to the plot than most of the other dreams I’ve had. I’ll explain that stuff once we get there.

A short time skip and I ended up in yet another accident. This time when I was at school getting to class I got attacked by these miniature cheetahs who chased me into a pond/river that flowed through the school. Guess the pond reminded my Spamton half of the infamous (and not really confirmed as canon) acid river incident cause I started panicking and screaming for help. I ended up getting rescued by Bugs Bunny, who was a janitor at the school and while he was trying to get me to calm down, the skin on my left arm fell off, revealing my second Spamifed arm.

The night after… THAT happened (in the dream world, not irl) I ended up having a horrid nightmare (a dream within a dream, where have I heard that before?) about the acid incident and the last thing I saw before I “woke up” from the nightmare was Queen and her Swatchlings laughing at me.

Going to school the next day, I was exhausted and had near constant hallucinations of Queen mocking me until I ended up having a mental breakdown and had to be sent home. On the way home, I saw a coffee shop and heard Queen’s voice in my head telling me to “meet her there” tomorrow so she could “explain everything”.

Turns out the b//tch was real (or at least real in this dream world’s verse) and not just a trauma-induced hallucination. While I was there, she basically explained what can only be described as the “hidden lore” of this dream.

Turns out, I was one of many people, let’s call them kinnies since that’s basically what they are, who were reincarnations of different darkners who died during the game’s Snowgrave/Weird/No Mercy Route, and just recently we’ve all been turning back into our original selves and regaining memories of our past lives. Queen herself just so happened to be one of those kinnies who recently finished their transformation. The whole reason she contacted me was because apparently some of the kinnies, lead by a Spade King kinnie, decided to try and go to war with/kill humanity as revenge for killing them in thier past lives and she was trying to recruit me to the side of the kinnies that wanted to protect humans from the ones that wanted to kill them now that I was finally turning back into Spamton.

Also there were a few evil kinnies that started stalking me after I got recruited, like this one guy who was a Jevil kinnie that tried to attack me after I left the coffee shop.

Not much else I can say about this, but this was quite a thing I tell ya. So yeah, insert outroduction here, hope you enjoyed :)