#They scream about what’s considered a word and make Stan officiate

[fresh-and-funky]

I have a funny and nonsensical IT headcanon… I think it would be hilarious if Richie and Patty were cousins.

IT’s magic kept the losers from meeting, but Richie and Patty had a standing once-a-month call they never missed. Somehow he never met his cousin’s husband. Missed the wedding too, flight got canceled last minute….

I think it would stress Stan out and I love that.

[whumble-beeee]

WOOP WOOP THAT'S THE SOUND OF DA POLICE

The (Un)Official Guide to Hero-Keeping | Cont'd from Part 15

Content: kidnapping/captivity, noncon drugging, recreational drug use, OD references, captivity references, honestly this is probably the closest thing to fluff you'll get from me: the funny

(AN: just a mini-chapter this week before we get back into things!)

* * * * A Brief Interlude * * * *

It had been a pretty easy drive so far.

Stan seemed more than content to just sit in his seat with his arms bound behind his back, completely relaxed except for the brief moments when his eyes would fly open and he would lurch up stock straight in his seat. Then just settle back and close his eyes right back up. Made Declan jump every time. Though he was really just happy that he didn’t have to blindfold the kid, excepting the intermittent night terrors, or whatever those were.

He knew he really should put the kid in the trunk or something, at least the back seat, but he was slightly worried he’d OD Stan, considering the way he was acting, the blank staring the complete lack of fight. Not to mention Declan’d kinda forgotten to account for his tiny size with the dosage. He was like, what, half Declan's size? More? Better to keep an eye on him.

It was pretty funny though, how high he was. And it’d be fine. No one would see them. It was dark, and Declan was taking the backroad highway that was usually deserted at night anyway. 

That being said, Stanny hadn’t said a word since they started driving… almost an hour ago now? The pill Declan’d taken earlier was really starting to hit him, too, lightly smudging the dark trees as they went sailing by, muting the rumble of the engine, a warm buzz enveloping his body as they sat in an easy silence aided by the light tunes of classic rock. Darkness washed over them like calm waves on a beach, only broken by the lime-green illuminations from the buttons on the dashboard and the odd car blasting them with their brights as it screamed down the opposite side of the highway. That was usually around when Stan would lurch up, actually.

“Hey, Uh… Declan. Deeby, DB, Deebers, Eeby Deeby, uh... Darth… Bucky…” Stan mumbled, eyes fluttering open.

Declan snorted at Stan’s ramblings, even if it did interrupt his favorite part of ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’. He turned the speaker down to a dull whisper.

“What, that my new nickname?” he bantered lazily. “I’ve definitely heard better.”

“Y’know, you’d be like,” Stan pitched his head back until it lightly thumped on the headrest, glassy eyes fixed firmly on the cloth ceiling. “Like, really hot, super hot, y’know? If you weren’t evil. Like really hot. The-the bandana, and the cowboy hat, and the tall and that accent and the whole… cyberpunk cowboy shit?... that’s fuckin’... that’s hot, man… not to me though but like, ahh... 'M not blind…”

Holy shit, what? God, he loved drugged people. 

“Y’know, some people would say that the evil makes me hotter,” Declan pointed out, humoring the captive than anything else. Besides, he wasn’t wrong. That was one of the tactics he used to capture, sometimes. Charms. The mask, the hat, the whole rugged cowboy look. It often got people excited, lulled them into a sense of safety and wanting. Very useful skill, being ‘hot’.

“Well… yeah,” Stan conceded. “But not me. Because you’re evil. Actually evil, a real actual villain who does villain things... Also not really my… my type. My fiancé though? D’loooove you‘f you weren’t evil. And if you didn’t kidnap me. He'd punch you in the face. S’mine though, hands off.”

Declan snorted. “Yeah, nah, don’t worry, I’m not gonna try to hit that. I think he’d be more angry with me anyway. Or scared, I guess. I certainly wouldn’t wanna meet me again.”

Stan lifted his head up. “What?”

“Hm?”

“You uh… you-you… met? How’d you know Marcus?”

“You told me about him. He’s your boyfriend,” Declan led on. It was kinda fun, this game of almost revealing information to him.

“F-fffiancé!”

“Ah, right. Fiancé. My bad.”

“T’ssssss uh…” He laid his head back again and closed his eyes.  “It’s fine…” 

And he was gone again. Settled back into the seat, like he’d just fallen asleep on a long late-night road trip.

Except for the blood running down his shirt and temples and the excessive bruises and red angry cuts that covered his body, his arms, his face, his neck. Ugh, all he could think now was that he probably should have cleaned Stan up a bit before sticking him in the front seat of his truck. 

Not to mention the collar. That's what really worried him. It was discernable from a mile away, and everyone knew what it was: A super detainment device. He hated that collar. It was so demeaning, and for what? Why a collar? There were power-dampening cuffs, he knew they existed.

It was all just for show, some ill-disguised power fantasy. Parade around the supers, look, they’re not dangerous anymore, they’re collared. They can’t hurt the regular people! You’re safe from the freaks! Police definitely liked it, power-tripping bastards. And he knew Vaughn definitely loved the collars.

And Lana.

Ew.

Not thinking about them right now. The engine of car roared over the music. He let up off the gas just a smidge. Declan had better things to do while high, anyway. Like vibe. Which was the complete opposite of those two. He’d much rather listen to ‘Hotel California’.

He turned the radio back up and let the music envelop him.

And in the master's chambers, they gathered for the feast They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember, I was running for the door I had to find the passage back to the place I was before "Relax, " said the night man, "We are programmed to receive You can check out any time you like–”

Piercing sirens suddenly hammered his ear-drums, wrecking through his easy concentration. He nearly swerved off the damn road. Bright reds and blues bathed the interior of the car in eerie, dangerous rave-like flashes of light. Stan’s eyes startled open with a small gasp. 

Lightning shocked through Declan’s body.

The police.

God dammit, why? Was he speeding? Was Stan more visible than he thought?!

Declan slammed his hands against the steering wheel with an angry shout, and this time Stan squeaked and cowered into himself. 

God, and now he had to get out his ‘fuck da police’ playlist, the vibes were completely different now!

This is what he got for breaking his damn rules!

Shit.

* * * * * * * *

Next

Taglist: @flowersarefreetherapy | @pirefyrelight | @cakeinthevoid | @painsandconfusion | @books-are-everything

@paperprinxe | @tippytappytyping | @chaotic-orphan | @notactuallyluska | @lumpofsand

@watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees | @whumpwhittler | @thelazywitchphotographer

(If you'd like to be added or subtracted from the taglist, don't be afraid to ask!)

[stayxlix]

I've been saving off the deep end to read once I had a break between exams

BRUH THAT STORYYYYYYY!! Pls don't mind my analysis and play-by-play reactions😩

You're writing style is so good I love the descriptions and how you manage to make everything so vivid. District 7's description was so on point, I really like how I could visualize it.... The tavern, the roads, the forests, the people...

"Cold rings on his fingers pressed into bare skin" goodbye I'd fold so fast✋✋✋ like yes he's a stranger but BRO

"He hesitantly brought his thumb up to run it over your bottom lip," I- 😀

I'm barely 2k into this story and already feeling a scream creeping up my throat.

"Without another word or giving you the chance to respond, he turned to go." Now excuse me dear sir✋ Get your outer district ass back here👹

How are you gonna make out w/ me then just dip💀 survival ig but STILL

"....so many eyes on you, permanently associating you with your father and his regime," SO WELL WRITTEN UGH CHEF'S KISS

I love the mc (main character) so much. They've won my favour so fast, uncharacteristically so. This is the kind of 'y/n' that we need to see more often! The change, the hero.

"A life with him certainly wouldn't involve tight corsets and suffocating lies." How are we so sure about the latter sweetie👀

But mc is better than me I'd probably be going there (district 7) every night in hopes of seeing him. But the chances are low considering he was on the run😔 Rational thinking ftw I guess?

"He had probably already forgotten about you." NAURRR😭 (I could never be this mature... To admit this to myself in such a situation? Nope)

"...followed by the glass walls of the hall shattering to pieces around you." Ok THIS PART IN THE STORY✋ Loveeee the build up of tension. I feel like I'm there omg.

"six..seven..maybe eight figures dressed in all black with bandana...." OOOH👀👀👀 !!! STRAY KISS WOO

"a group of your father's guards run up and make contact with the boys, tossing a couple of them their own guns."😨 HUH? OMG WHAT???? Betrayal of the century purrr😻

"The boy who had kissed you in the alley two weeks ago." GOODBYE CBFNFNFBFV

I should've seen this coming butt I'm FLABBERGASTED

Let's goooo😩😩✋ Also thank you for making it brown hair Felix, like THANK YOU😋 (btw this ask is so long sorryyyy)

"You swear you saw the faintest hint of a smirk... " OFFICIALLY HOLLERING RN AARGHHHH

No bc I hope he kidnaps mc😘 and Jisoo ofc😻 let's go live in the trenches 😋

NO the guards ruined it😒 Can they duck off istg

"Were you protecting him? " Dgfhgkhmkdxnh

"You mouthed "go" and if you had blinked you would have missed the nod he gave you in return." I need a minute🤒 A longgggg minute to process this

"Why would the boys risk their lives to send a message? " THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SKZ HELP

Like that's LITERALLY THEM

"As far as he knew, you were just like the rest of them." Bro this story is INTENSE

On that more I will be leaving for now, I need to eat and process this story before continuing it is so bloody good

Again, I'm so sorry for how long this is

omg so i just want to start by saying that from the bottom of my heart i am so touched by this. i seriously think i re-read it at least 7 times and i can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you took the time out of your day to go through and immerse yourself into the story the way you did.😭💕 the play-by-play literally had me giggling to myself like a CHILD lmao you’re actually so funny like i wish i could hire you to narrate my life.😂

this is the first/only fic i’ve ever written and you complimented some of the parts i was most insecure about without even knowing it and i just. thank you.🥹💕 like your comment about the mc i could actually cry. and it’s always nice to find another dark hair felix stan because as much as i love the blonde (and i really do) i just couldn’t imagine him any other way here.

please don’t ever feel the need to apologize for how much you write this is what i LIVE for and it gives me so much motivation to continue the story. you could write an entire novel and i would happily sit down and read every single word.😊 i hope you got something good to eat (and that your exams went well) and i hope the rest of your day/night has been just as good as this made mine.💕💕💕

[mirrorcatcreditcard]

[Uh, warning: I say aggressive stuff I don't actually mean towards other fans and characters when I get into it.(And by aggressive I mean telling people to shut their traps and calling characters curse words, but it's lovingly) Please don't take this personally in the least if we have differing opinions. I respect most of you guys in the fandom.]

Honestly, I feel so many fans just repress season one because it was a royal shit show: literally and figuratively. Even as Nightbringer lore comes out, I just more and more go "wow, Dia, babe, you are a horrible ruler." Things only work out for the demons who are his besties while everyone else suffers. And, honestly, his type of evil absolutely terrifies me because he lacks self awareness in a certain way. He refuses to even consider the fact that his outlook on life may be the problem. He most likely would commit massacres if he thought it was for the "greater good" (which btw is only his definition of it). He wants to always win while simultaneously bringing happiness to everyone; but he often just makes others miserable with his immaturity. And, I will not start on the stuff he does because (like me) he's a Lucifer simp. Y'all can fight me on this one. Canon has my back.

Now to discuss the whole murder situation. Belphie deserved to go to jail. All of you shut up right now with the little protests of "oh well all the other brothers almost killed us or hurt us" or the excuse of "technically the current timeline Belphie didn't". I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Belphie still has a hatred for humanity. In that moment of intense emotion, us being human was simply overweighed by us being (one of) the last connections to Lilith he had. Yeah yeah, I hear y'all going "but he later falls for us". I won't go into a whole analysis of his feelings for us. I will state that the other brothers potentially (or actually) causing severe harm to MC has absolutely nothing to do with Belphie. I'm tired of Belphie apologists or (insert other brother's name) haters going into a whole essay about how Belphie was justified compared to his siblings. Where did y'all learn morals and ethics? Official rules and laws are a set in stone, not a compared to others. That defense is literally a "well he was doing it first".

Onto the next part that literally everyone is always screaming about: Lucifer. Good Dia, this is a whole mess. I think what he did was a "better wrong" rather than a "lesser right". One, he committed a whole crime by harboring a fugitive. Simultaneously, he put the weight of Belphie's sins on himself.

Onto the softening of the blow now that I beat you guys over the head with a stick: Forgiveness exists. You guys, ultimately, are the ones who choose how you feel regardless of how others or the canon see it. I think people who simp/stan Belphie and defend him to the finest detail are valid af. You will see me go agree with an opinion completely opposite of this one I've just stated less than five minutes after I post this simply because I enjoy debate and viewpoints.

Also, like-

My actual options are slightly different than this rant gives the vibes of. It's more of "I acknowledge my characters flaws and sins while I enjoy viewing content of them, but right now is the acknowledgement part ." If someone answered this post by simply sending a pic of Belphie sleeping I'd just say they got me there. Now y'all thirsty boogers and theorists stay safe~

Someone please reblog your opinions to continue this debate session or sum I'm lonely.

Comic Diavolo is pretty hard core. Definitely comes off more serious and authoritative, even putting MC on the same level as Belphegor saying if they want to defend a criminal they will share in the blame.

Also he was planning to lock Belphegor up FOR ALL ETERNITY

That was the plan when Belphie was arrested in the game. DIAVOLO WAS REALLY ABOUT TO SENTENCE THIS MAN TO LIFE FOR A CRIME HE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT COMMITTING

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Fourteen. There's No Way.

word count: 5k (not including pictures) warnings: swearing

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

a/n: yeeeeee very excited about this chapter!! we're getting so close to some good stuff!!!! hope you like it!!! (also, if you understand the reference to bug’s second tweet about mr clean, you’re a real one) 

______

Y/n laughed as she tucked her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on top as she stared at her computer monitor. "Yeah, okay, Gogy."

Quackity's laugh sounded through her headphones, cackling loudly and gasping for air as George defended himself in their voice channel. None of them were streaming, which allowed them to tease each other relentlessly without worrying about leaking real things. Currently, the target of the teasing was Y/n. Her guilty crime: Dream’s nickname for her. "She got his ass!"

"Oh shut up, Big Q," Y/n quickly spat back. "At least neither of us has a nickname that lies about our size. Short boy."

Quackity stopped laughing and pulled out his defensive card. "Okay, that's literally not funny. That's messed up of you to say, actually."

"Waaah," Y/n mocked.

"Okay, Bugsy, but no one seriously calls me Gogy, it's just as a joke," George defended himself. "I was only saying that I think it's cute how Dream calls you Bug!"

"Shut up," she mumbled with embarrassment. She loved the nickname and especially how everyone seemed to agree it was reserved for him. She wondered if he noticed that too, how everyone else, including most fans, called her Bugsy, leaving Dream as the only online friend who used the nickname.

"She's embarrassed," Quackity giggled. "Awww. Is the Buggy Wuggy embarrassed of having a crush?"

“I don’t have a crush,” she lied convincingly. 

“You better not. The title of your affection deservingly goes to me,” he said proudly, as if there was any shred of truth in his words.

“Get over yourself, Quackity,” George laughed, “before Dream tells you off again about being too short for Bugsy.”

“HEY!”

"I'm back," Sapnap announced as he unmuted in Discord. "What did I miss?"

"They're still bullying me," Y/n exaggerated.

“No, they’re bullying me!” Quackity scoffed.

“Sapnap, make them stop,” Y/n begged playfully. Usually Sapnap was on her side.

"It’s for a good reason though," Sapnap teased. "I mean, we'll stop bullying you if you admit to liking him," he lowered his voice slightly, probably since he lived in the same house as the man they were talking about.

Y/n smiled to herself and hid it behind her hoodie sleeve as if they could see her anyway. She kinda liked that she hadn't told Quackity or Sapnap about her official crush, enjoying having a secret like that. Well, a secret that George, Karl, and Naomi knew too.

"Then I guess I'll be bullied until the day that I die," she sighed. She swore she heard George cover a laugh with a cough and she sent his icon a death glare. He seemed to enjoy knowing her secret a little too much. 

"Is anyone going to actually stream today?" Sapnap asked. "I wanna do something."

"I'm thinking about doing Jackbox later," Quackity admitted. "Do you guys wanna join if I do?"

"Yes! Please," Sapnap whined. "I'm so bored."

"Sure, I'll play. Karl is spending the night so I can make him play too."

"Sleepover?" George asked. " Can I come?"

"Hm, no."

"That's messed up!"

"Can you join, George?" Quackity asked. "I need you in my title."

George hummed contemplatively and his voice turned mischievous, if only for a moment. "Yeah, if you get Dream to play."

Yeah, he definitely enjoyed knowing her secret too much.

"Right, you only play when your boyfriend plays too," Quackity groaned. "Cancel Dreamnotfound, I believe in Dreamsy supremacy."

"Says the man who asks me to marry him every day," Y/n scoffed.

"Actually, you're right! Bugity supremacy," he said.

"I swear it's become more frequent since I said you could flirt with me online again."

"It has, I'm making up for lost time."

Y/n rolled her eyes and Sapnap laughed. "I'll get Dream to play," Sapnap offered.

"So you'll play, George? I need you to commit," Quackity said.

"Yeah, why not," George agreed before adding with a giggle, "I wanna see Dream try to flirt with Bugsy."

"I hate you all,” specifically you, George, she thought. “I'm not playing anymore."

"NO, YOU ALREADY SAID YOU WOULD!" Quackity shouted.

"FINE," she groaned, a small laugh escaping her lips and completely exposing that she wasn't actually mad. "Speaking of Karl sleeping over, he's coming over in a bit so I'm gonna get off."

"Booo," Sapnap protested lightly. "Have fun with Karl."

"Let me know if he's going to play Jackbox with us. He better," Quackity threatened with no real substance.

"I'll make him," Y/n promised. "Bye guys!"

"Bye!" George and Sapnap shouted together before she disconnected the call.

Y/n stood up from her desk, stretching softly before looking around her room. She had a laundry basket in the corner, overflowing with clean, and now probably wrinkled, clothes waiting to be folded. She decided to use her time to clean up before Karl got there, even though they were probably going to sleep on the couches if at all.

She dumped the clean clothes onto her bed, tossing the things that needed to be hung to the side and neatly folded the rest. When she put her hoodies and sweaters on hangers, she noticed how much of her friends' merch she had. She had two GeorgeNotFound hoodies, a Sapnap shirt and hoodie, and even a Quackity hoodie. Karl didn't have any merch, but she did have a few of his personal hoodies that she had stolen from him over time and considered those her own exclusive merch, even though some of them had the Mr. Beast logo on them. She decided she needed Dream's merch.

For some unknown reason, perhaps it was because of how much she liked him, her face grew warm at the thought of wearing a Dream hoodie, even though it wouldn't have belonged to him. The idea made her nervous, like that would somehow give away that she had a crush on him if she bought some of his merch, even though she bought some of her friends' and even had Karl's actual hoodies. Despite the reasons that that was stupid of her to think, her brain said owning one Dream hoodie would be a dead giveaway of her crush, so she put off buying any. In reality, he'd probably laugh in his cute way when he heard that she bought one, or maybe go "whAT!" in surprise and happiness.

She desperately wanted to tell him things like that, tell him how happy his laugh made her and how adorable he was, or how she got butterflies every time he talked about anything at all. Since she couldn’t just call him up and tell him she hated stopped thinking about him, she decided to do something bold and subtweeted him, even adding a picture of herself with her face covered, hoping he would know it was about him, but that no one else would. She turned off comments for good measure, in case the stans made assumptions. Now that she threw away the "no flirting" rule for all her friends, she could do things like this. Worst case scenario is he thinks it’s weird, she tells him it was only a joke, and they go on their merry ways. Her heart would be broken, but nevertheless her ego would be somewhat saved. Harmless. 

Nervously ― plagued with the thoughts of possible consequences of posting something so bold and, to her, so obvious — she made her way to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He would know it was about him, right? And that's what she wanted? It was so forward of her to say to the world, especially since she hadn't tagged him in it. Leaving it up to interpretation almost made it like she was trying to hide it from him, which wasn't the case or she wouldn't have hit, Tweet.

She waited for him to tweet something vague about her as a response, or maybe even text her, before realizing it had the potential to make him uncomfortable. Maybe he would pretend to not see it so he didn't embarrass her, or didn't even know it was about him. Or maybe he's asleep and hasn't been on his phone. She looked at her clock. Dream asleep at 3:30pm? Unlikely.

As Y/n fell on her bed, contemplating whether she should delete the post and pretend like it never happened, she felt her phone vibrate and quickly swiped the screen to read it.

Y/n had to literally set her phone down to scream into her pillow. He was killing her. Stabbing her in the heart and twisting the knife with his sweet compliments and smooth delivery. He had to know what he was doing, the way he was talking to her like that. No one said "prove it" in that context without having something more behind it.

Why couldn't he just like her? Why did he have to be so nice and flirty towards all his friends? Why couldn’t she be the exception?

She picked her phone back up and left the messaging app, finding her camera roll and swiping through it in search for something to catch her eye. Food pic, meme, Karl’s cat, meme, picture of Naomi nearly falling off a sidewalk... where were her pictures of her face? Did she really not have any of herself? The seemingly endless scrolling stopped when she found one from when she first moved into the apartment. Naomi had taken pictures of every room to show her parents and asked Y/n if she could show her parents the streamers room as well. Y/n cheerfully agreed, and actually wanted to be in the photo because she loved Naomi’s parents like they were her own, so she jumped on her bed and smiled for the picture.

It was cute, the comforter she sat on was messy and looked comfy, and she liked the way she was posed, cross-legged and beaming at the camera with her dying plant on the windowsill in the background and fairy lights around the room. It was also back when her room was clean and presentable. Y/n thought it was a good photo and even would have posted it if not for the whole her being a faceless streamer thing.

She held her breath, contemplating if she should just send the image to Dream. She wanted to, she really did. But that fear of how he perceived her still nagged in the back of her mind.

Y/n must have been mulling it over for a while because as she decided to not send it, Dream followed up on his last text, clearly worried that he was pressuring her. She wanted to change the subject as soon as possible before she changed her mind and face revealed to him.

Y/n took a deep breath at the thought of how close she was to sending that picture to Dream. It wasn't the first time she genuinely considered it, nor would it be the last, but that was the first time she actually looked through her camera roll for options. She so desperately wanted to. Wanted to show him what she looked like. Wanted to hear what he thought of her. Wanted to hear him say, "I like you, Bug" after finally seeing what she looked like. Wanted to let him know how much she trusted him by showing him her biggest fear. It would be so easy to just rip off the Band-Aid; only a few clicks and he could see her face. See her.

But then there was the possibility of none of her fantasies happening. What if she sent him a picture saying, "here is me!" and all he says is, "nice", not finding her pretty or ugly? What if he thought it was just like... seeing a picture of a friend. He and I are just friends, Y/n scolded herself. But him seeing her opened up the opportunity for him to like her.

It was scarier the longer she put it off, almost like the more she postponed it, the more she had to prove. If Dream knew what she looked like from the beginning, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But since she had waited so long to show him, she felt like she had to make it worth the wait.

Was she worth the wait?

Y/n's bedroom door swung open, ripping her out of her thoughts and letting her know that Karl had arrived. He smiled at her and she laughed in response.

"Hello, Karl. Ever heard of knocking?"

"Nope!" he responded as he set down a cupholder with three drinks on her nightstand. "How are you?"

"Good." Daydreaming out about Dream... again. "How are you?"

"I'm so excited!" He dropped his backpack on the floor and turned to her, pulling her off her bed and giving her a hug. "I've missed you!"

"You saw me, like, a couple of days ago," she laughed as she hugged him back.

"A couple of days too long," he sighed dramatically, rocking back and forth into the hug before Y/n lightly pulled away from him. "Where's Naomi?"

"Uh... in her room I'm guessing?"

"I'm going to go give this to her," he explained grabbing one of the drinks and walking out. "Don't miss me too much!"

Y/n laughed and shook her head, laying back down on her bed with her phone in hand. She reread some of the texts between her and Dream and couldn't help the large smile that plastered itself on her face.

When Karl came back in, he jumped on the bed, wrapping his arms around her stomach and snuggling into her side. "Hello."

She laughed but pushed him away slightly, trying to ignore the pout on his face at her actions. "Hi."

"Oh, happy December!"

"Already? Geesh."

"Yeah, only 27 days until the lake!!!!"

Nervous and excited butterflies festered in the pit of Y/n's stomach. "What drink did you get me?"

"Your faaavorite," he sang as he grabbed the drink letting her sit up and lean against the headboard before handing it to her.

"Thank you very much," she said as she took a sip. "Oh, hey, so Quackity wants to do a Jackbox stream tonight and I said you'd join."

Karl groaned and laid back on Y/n, careful not to knock her drink out of her hand. "Noooo...."

"You don't wanna play?" she asked genuinely, patting his hair lightly as his head rested on her legs.

"I just want to hang out with you. It's been so long since we had Karl and Y/n time."

She sighed. "I know, but it will be fun. We'll play for like an hour and a half and then we can hang out for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow until you have to go to Jimmy’s house," she bargained like she was talking a four-year-old into eating some vegetables.

"Hmph. Fine," Karl pouted. "Is Dream playing?"

She shrugged. "I think so?"

"That's why you want to play so bad."

"What? No! I agreed to play before Sapnap said he would ask him."

"Mmmhm. So that Tweet earlier wasn't about him?"

"The... Tweet?" she played dumb but her face warmed up.

"Or was it about me?" he joked. "Have you just been blown away ever since we met and you're still thinking about how cute I am?"

"Shut up," she lightly pushed Karl's head off her lap as her face grew hotter. "Am I wrong though?"

"I don't know!" he said as he sat up and looked at her. "I've never seen the man!!"

"Oh, really?" she asked. "I didn't want to post it because I didn't want people to think I was bragging about knowing what he looks like..." she sighed.

"Then why did you?"

"Because... I also really wanted him to see it," she said with a shy giggle.

Karl face lit up as he cackled at her. "Look at you, trying to flirt!! Let's gooo!!!"

Y/n buried her face in her sweatshirt collar and laughed.

"Oh my gosh? Y/n subtweeting and flirting at the same time?? What on Earth?"

"It only counts if it works."

"Did it?” Karl asked as he leaned back and played with his rings. “You turned off comments and I didn't see him subtweet you back."

"That's because he... texted me... instead."

"WHAT? What did he say?"

Y/n laughed. "He said I wasn't allowed to tweet something like that and then turn off comments so he can't tell everyone it was about him."

Karl cackled again. "HAHAH! So true though!"

"Whatever. I'm not telling you anything else about our conversation."

"Why, was it spicy?"

"No. But— this is weird to talk about!"

Karl frowned. "You don't have to tell me... I just think it's so cute. But if you ever do want to talk about how much you wuv Dweam, I'm all ears. Tell me everything."

Y/n rolled her eyes fondly. "Okay Kawl."

"What time is Quackity streaming?" Karl changed the subject, understanding that Y/n actually didn't want to talk about Dream.

"I don't know. Ask him. Also, tell him you're joining so he knows." She took another long sip from her drink as Karl pulled out his phone and texted Quackity.

Her fingers itched to make another Tweet about Dream and she finally succumbed, but decided to outright tease him instead of flirt, not hiding the identity of her target this time. Really, it was just an excuse for her to try to get his attention like she couldn't just text him and have it right away.

_____

"Sapnap!" Bugsy cheered as he joined the Discord, Quackity off talking to his chat while the others slowly joined. So far, the only people there were Sapnap, Bugsy, and Karl.

"Bugsy!" he called back with a giggle. "Hi! Is Karl coming?"

"I'm here, Sapnap!" Karl announced. "Bugsy and I are just using the same mic."

"Am I not good enough for you?" she teased Sapnap and he laughed.

"Well you're going to ignore me to talk to Dream once he gets here, so I need a backup so I'm not lonely."

Y/n rolled her eyes with a smile and Karl laughed.

"We can talk while they flirt," Karl promised.

"Both of you shut up," she scolded softly.

Pretty soon, the others joined. In the end, Quackity had convinced Bad, Punz, and Wilbur to play, as well as all the feral boys.

"You could only get nine people to play, Quackity?" George asked once Quackity unmuted. "Wow, you must not have friends."

"Hey! I have friends, George! I do."

"Then where's the tenth person, Big Q?" Wilbur countered.

"LOOK! It was last minute! Where's Drea– that man is always late, I swear to—"

"I'm here!" Dream said quickly, joining the voice channel. "I'm here! Hello, everyone. Hi, Bug."

Karl smacked his hand over his mouth to cover his laugh, which escaped anyway, as he nudged Y/n. She had immediately buried her face in her hands and Karl had to turn away from the mic so no one could hear him laugh at Dream's direct greeting.

She pinched Karl's side before greeting Dream. "Hi, Dream."

"Are you guys ready to play?" Quackity asked.

"Wait, no, we're going to have to have Gene! Can't you get anyone else?" Punz asked.

"Everyone I've asked has said no!" Quackity groaned. "I'm out of people. Deal with Gene."

Y/n and Karl looked at each other at the same time, thinking the same thing. Naomi had been talking about wanting to play Jackbox sometime but that she never has anyone to play with other than Karl and Y/n. She'd be meeting most of these people on vacation in a couple of weeks anyway, why not see if she wants to play?

"What about my roommate?" Y/n spoke up as Quackity sent the code to the Discord.

"Who?" he asked.

"You literally met her when you visited," Karl laughed. "Naomi."

"Oh, yeah! She's cool."

"Invite her to play," George said, making Dream laugh lightly and Y/n smile because they knew they had been talking a lot.

"Yeah, give me a second, don't start yet," Y/n said before sliding off her headphones and making her way to Naomi's room. Before Y/n could even knock, Naomi swung open her door quickly, phone open to the Twitch app in her hand.

"I heard everything," she rushed out, eyes wide and hopeful. "C-can I play?"

"Yeah, you want to?"

"PLEASE."

"There are currently 130,000 people watching, just so you know."

"That's fine, I'm cool under pressure." That was very true. Y/n wouldn’t have let Naomi join if she thought her friend couldn’t handle the attention. She thrived in it. "Should I come to your room?"

"Yeah, come on." Y/n led the way and pulled up a third chair to her desk. Karl offered to listen to the Discord on his phone so Naomi could use the second pair of headphones to listen to everyone. All three of them still used Y/n's mic, Karl muted on his phone. "Okay, kinda scuffed set up, but we're all here. Everyone, this is Naomi."

"Hello!" Naomi said happily. "Nice to meet you all!"

Everyone greeted her and Y/n noted the redness on Naomi's cheeks as George greeted her with a soft, "Nice to talk to you again, Naomi."

Karl giggled again and slapped his hand over his mouth; Y/n had a feeling he'd have to do that a lot this stream.

"Can we all agree to not pander?" Bad asked, earning a few approvals.

"What if we play one game where we only pander?" Dream asked. "Like pander as much as possible for every answer."

"Wait, yeah, let's do that so everyone can get it out of their system," Wilbur agreed.

"But Naomi doesn't know us well enough to pander yet," Sapnap countered.

"Yes I do," she said with a laugh. "I've watched enough streams and lore videos to know exactly how to get votes."

"Damn, okay then," Sapnap mumbled.

"Yeah, she'll be fine," George promise and Naomi blushed again, making Y/n laugh. Naomi joined the lobby on her phone and the round began.

Pandering being the goal was both annoying and hilarious because people used the same jokes, but it was funny to see how hard people were trying to get the audience votes.

"Something you would take with you on a deserted island," Quackity read out loud as the prompt showed up. "An iPad full of downloaded skephalo fanfiction, HAHAH, or dreamnotfound fanart." Everyone laughed and Y/n could hear George scoff at one answer in particular.

"Aw, I love Skeppy!" Bad said innocently.

"Was that your answer then, Badboyhalo?" Wilbur teased as everyone voted on their favorite. Y/n, of course, cast her vote towards skephalo, but still pretended like the other answer didn't make her jealous. The player votes were split, but the audience made Sapnap's answer win in a landslide.

"Okay, the most disappointing thing to hear from a friend," Wilbur read the next one out loud. "Dreamsy is real, and you don't have a shot with BugsyGames."

"What the hell?" Y/n laughed loudly at the similarity between the two responses. Dream was laughing so hard, wheezing like he would never stop, and the sound brought a large grin to Y/n's face.

Everyone's laughs overlapped and mingled with each other and it was such a happy sound, distracting everyone's attention from Y/n a little.

"That would be the worst thing to hear!" Quackity yelled. "Good thing Bugity is real."

Dream stopped laughing abruptly and instead yelled, "WHAT?" which only made everyone laugh harder.

"Vote!!" Bad reminded.

"Wait, Quackity, what did you just say?" Dream asked.

"Well, I've seen her face, so... I think she loves me more," he said, just trying to get a rise out of the other, which seemed to be working.

Y/n thought again about how close she was to sending a picture of herself to Dream earlier. He probably would have immediately used it against Quackity, but she didn't think she would have minded because it was funny to see Dream jealous, real or not.

"Only because you flew out to hang out with Karl!" Dream yelled. "I'd fly just to see her."

"Then do it," Y/n challenged before she could think and her heart stopped at her own words.

Dream went silent and it was Naomi's turn to cover her laugh with her hand, Karl's eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Why are you so defensive, huh, Dream?" Punz asked.

"Uh, you-you have to be when fighting for Bug's love and attention," he joked finally, and Y/n's heart resumed beating, a little fast at the implication of his words. Why did she say that? He probably thought she was so weird. "It's every person for themselves." Then again, so was he.

The votes were pretty split since they said the same thing, but the surprising thing was who said what. She expected one of them to be from Quackity, but she didn't know who wrote the second one about not having a shot. Sapnap maybe? Karl? They all joke around so who put it?

"DREAM?" Sapnap laughed. "You wrote that?"

"Well, yeah, I mean..." he trailed off with a laugh and Y/n's face caught fire. Did he really think he didn't have a shot? Because reality check: he’s the only one with arrows and the target is wide open. Was he joking or stupid or was she just not as obvious as she previously thought?

"Okay, okay, next one," Quackity laughed. "If cats were political leaders, everyone’s favorite president would be: Patches, okay," he paused as Dream cheered loudly, "and Bingus."

"Corpse isn't even here! Wrong audience!" Karl said.

"Bingus is for all audiences," Y/n mumbled, making Naomi laugh.

"Uh-oh, another faceless man stealing Bugsy's heart—?" Sapnap joked, immediately cut off by Dream's stern, "no."

"Naomi, you put Patches?" Wilbur laughed as the votes went towards the girl on Y/n's left. "Okay, she does know more than we thought."

"Oh, I know everything," she said evilly, double-meaning evident in her voice. Y/n gave her a look and Naomi just smiled innocently.

The pandering got so intense that Y/n almost cried tears of joy when the first Quiplash game was over and the no-pandering rule got put back into play.

"What, you don't like your name being every other answer?" Wilbur joked and Y/n shook her head.

"No. But certain ones were okay..."

"Yeah, the Bugity ones," Quackity joked.

Dream hummed out a soft, "Okay, Quackity," and the next game began.

The games went on as usual and Y/n had a blast. It was so fun to see her best friend interact with all her online friends for the first time and it warmed her heart how inclusive they were, making sure Naomi wasn't left out of jokes. It helped that Naomi's sense of humor was similar and that she already knew a lot about the streamers, but Y/n was still grateful for all the efforts put forth by her friends.

It also helped that George and Naomi clearly liked each other.

"Is anyone going to stream?" Quackity asked as he started wrapping up.

"I will if no one else is," Punz said. "I'm going to play Valorant."

"Oh, can I play?" Sapnap asked.

"Yeah, definitely, dude."

"Okay, I'll raid you." Quackity muted after thanking everyone for playing and Y/n left the call.

"Dude, that was SO FUN!" Naomi stood up and yelled. She sat down on the end of Y/n's bed, hands balled up in excitement.

Karl laughed as he fell on top of the bed next to where Naomi sat. "I'm so glad you guys all got along!"

"Yeah, I almost started crying when everyone was laughing at your jokes," Y/n laughed, swiveling in her chair to look at them. "That made me so happy."

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much for letting me play. I had so much fun. And they're all so nice and funny and I was worried they'd make me feel left out but they didn't at all."

"I'm so glad you had fun," Y/n said. "We'll invite you again if you want."

"Please do. Only if everyone's okay with it though!"

"I'm sure they would be."

“The lake is going to be so fun,” she sighed whimsically. 

“Because George?” Karl teased, causing Naomi to punch his arm. 

A Discord notification sounded on Y/n's computer and she turned to look at the screen, smiling when she saw Dream's name.

Dream: You left the vc so quick :( Bugsy: I have two goons to hang out with :( Dream: :(((( Dream: I wanna be the only goon you hang out with Dream: I was right, I don't have a chance with you Dream: Karl is the only focus of Bugs attention Bugsy: ?? Bugsy: lies detected Dream: wait really Bugsy: ... Bugsy: do I need to remind you of the tweet I posted earlier Dream: bug don't say things like that to me Bugsy: why not Dream: can you kick Karl back to his house so we can ft or call :( Bugsy: no <3 Bugsy: we can tomorrow after Karl leaves Dream: promise? Dream: don't get my hopes up bug Bugsy: yeah I promise :) Dream: :D

"Pay attention to me!" Karl whined. Y/n turned back around and saw that Naomi had left the room and Karl was laying upside down, close to falling off the bed with his head dangling dangerously close to the ground.

She laughed and typed one last message to Dream.

Bugsy: bye bye dream :) Dream: goodnight bug :] sleep well

"Okay," she huffed jokingly, turning back to Karl. "You have my full, undivided attention."

_____

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[bbq-hawks-wings]

Chapter 316: BBQ is capable of critiquing BNHA and… Oh boy.

Let's start this off properly, Horikoshi's typical quality of writing has been diminishing in recent chapters, but this week it was so different that it didn't even feel like Horikoshi was the one who wrote it.

To be clear, I'm not blaming Horikoshi for the issues I'm about to bring up. The man is criminally overworked, usually doesn't even get the final say in what makes it in the final drafts, and even in his other rough patches he's still produced decent chapters that hold up amongst the grand scheme of things. This feels like something else is going on behind the scenes, and while I have my suspicions on who/what might be the culprit behind it, I choose not to share it at this time because if I name names some people might go off on a crusade, and that's not what I want.

I just want to be clear that I'm not blindly firing off shots in the dark, but despite my frustrations I want to wait to see if this gets resolved down the line, and while I do I can complain about the specific reasons this chapter left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Buckle up, buttercups, because we got a lot of points to cover.

Where's the Gun?

Not a literal gun, but I mean Chekhov's Gun. It has always been a staple of Horikoshi's writing and the reason so many of his long-standing plot lines have paid off so well.

Chekhov's Gun is a writing principal that if you see a gun on the table in the first act of a play, it will be used in the murder that happens in act 2. Basically, the author should include details that are relevant to the story and not betray the audience by leading them in one direction and at the last minute pull the rug out from underneath them to go in another direction.

Horikoshi has done this to phenomenal success in the past. Just as one example, he dropped hints about Nomu being human experiments early in the series but held off explicitly stating it for a while. He hinted at the loss of Shirakumo in the main narrative and that he was important to Aizawa and Mic as well as approved it for Vigilantes so when it was revealed that Kurogiri was Shirakumo's body, not only did it narratively make sense but it also pulled in Eraserhead and Present Mic's emotional stakes into the battle with the Doctor, and then when Ujiko reveals he was after Aizawa's quirk the whole time it made the payoff for Mic punching him in the face all that much better and brings the weight of his crimes and the impact they have on the victims full circle.

That's 3 different guns paying off in the long run: the Nomu, Shirakumo, and both Mic and Eraserheads' personal arcs past the loss of their childhood friend and that they could finally finish processing their grief and avenge him in full righteous fury instead of chalking it all up to cruel chance.

He has left details, some particularly innocuously, in plot lines like the Touya Todoroki reveal, Hawks' backstory, Shigaraki's blood connection to Nana Shimura, even with Mr. Compress's backstory, and more. When re-read, these details become more obvious and usually leaves us with a greater sense of satisfaction in the plot knowing that twists and turns were not only planned, but built up to and hinted at for us to find so the payoff is that much better and it feels purposeful instead of just shock factor.

None of that happened this chapter.

Lady Nagant has zero business being in this plotline. She was never hinted about before this arc, and her existence does nothing to tell us about the plot moving forward or the world that they're trying to change. Nothing her existence provides actually has any bearing on the universe or tells us anything we don't already know. But that's not how she was presented.

In the beginning we're given a glimpse of her helping Overhaul escape from Tartarus. The focus on her was odd enough to begin with as a new character, and the fact that she didn't look like she fit the profile of someone who belonged in Tartarus was like a flashing neon sign saying, "Pay attention! This new character is important!!!" She then shows up later with Overhaul in hand to attack Deku out of the blue. We get her talking about how she thought Overhaul might be useful and her disillusions with Hero Society. We catch her mannerisms with eery similarity to Hawks only to find out immediately after she was a senior colleague in the HPSC. Never once to my knowledge has Hawks referred to any of his senior colleagues as a "senpai" - not even his fellow heroes - and when he catches her in midair, he uses the words, "Don't die on me, senpai!" as if she's near and dear to his heart.

The entire character arc is set up for her to have known about Hawks and grapple with her desire to help people and her fear of re-creating what she hated, and this also set up Hawks to be the successor who succeeded where she failed and helped bring her to a place where she could be a hero without guilt again. What actually happened?

They're strangers.

They have never actually met before, and while he seems to know a lot about her, she doesn't even seem to have any idea of who he was - at least as far as being another hero under the thumb of the HPSC. So ALLLL that setup, all that gesturing, and all of the potential themes that would be right at home in an arc like this goes completely out the window.

Her story doesn't tell us anything new. The HPSC bad. We knew that. They're not above throwing innocents under the bus to achieve that goal. We knew that. They preyed upon young hopefuls with powerful quirks with the intent to maintain the status quo. We knew that even if the fact that Hawks isn't the only one now makes more questions than answers. We know that these young heroes can never say no under threat of steep, life-shattering consequences. We knew that already.

So what does Lady Nagant even bring to the table?! The entire "you're just a puppet doing what you've been told" angle is a little tired and out of place in this point and time with actual anarchy in the streets (not to mention hypocritical considering she was a blind puppet following orders and offers zero actual solutions that supposedly fall in line with her heroic nature), and it could have been left to any number of other villain characters who could have executed on the theme better - you know, like Shigaraki who's justification this entire time has been, "hero society doesn't make people safe, it just makes them feel safe" from the moment of his inception.

So from that angle she's unnecessary.

Her presence messes with the continuity of the series as well. If Hawks is supposed to explicitly replace her, that would mean that he wasn't just a fluke find on the commission's part and grabbed to mold into their own special superweapon; and that also would mean that her killing of the former president was before he was discovered which should put her at least in her forties. If this isn't the case, and he was meant to simply replace her in a "special agent" case, that still begs the question of how many more gifted children the commission preyed upon and are still out there.

And maybe the worst kicker for me is that something stinks. The way the art in this chapter is presented, if you completely blanked out the speech bubbles, is the same setup I had before - Hawks reaches out to his former mentor and pulls her from the brink of despair with a moving message about why he never gave up hope in being a hero who could actually make a difference.

Again, this is not what we got. He claims he knows her, and it's implied to have been a deep, personal character witness; but at best he only knows about her from secondhand sources. Even his reasoning as to how he never lost hope doesn't vibe with his character.

We have gotten so many cool one-liners for Hawks, but there has always been a consistent tone and imagery with them.

"Those who can fly, should."

"I don't belong in a cage."

"I'm free of my shackles."

"Can I be a shining light, just like him?"

What we got was, "I'm an optimist to a fault" which was the wording the official release went with and was by far the best iteration I have seen, but even this falls short of being truly in character for him and answering her question properly.

@mikeana made an edit of the titular panels for us Hawks stans this week with dialogue we and a few other friends felt was more fitting not only with the imagery of the chapter itself but internally consistent with the specific expressions Hawks uses in his heartfelt, personal dialogue. I just tweaked it a little bit more to fit what I was going for in our original conversation.

Which brings me to another concern.

2. What's the point?

There was no use for Nagant in the series as she's been presented so far. But more than that, Hawks has no business in this fight to begin with. He literally did nothing to earn this emotional moment, and this should have been Deku's moment.

We were teased in an interview with Horikoshi that Hawks was going to get a special moment as an important end-game character as a "shining light" of hope for others to follow as well as promises for Ochako to have another moment in the spotlight to make a difference.

If this was Hawks' shining light moment, it wasn't necessary, and it does nothing to move the plot forward or develop characters in any true or believable way. It just happened because plot. This should have been Deku's victory through and through, and even he is the reason BOTH Hawks and Nagant made it out alive instead of painting the street below them.

Deku's victory was stolen from him, too. It sours the other promises made to us about other characters moving forward, as well, if this really was Hawks' "Shining Light" moment.

By the way, did you forget about Overhaul? Me too!!! What was the point of getting our hopes up about reintroducing this beloved character with the implications this was a major arc setup to have him scream about pops and then get detained with no clues about what's going to happen to him besides, "Say you're sorry to Eri, and you get to see pops"?!

All this posturing and clumsy narrative flailing only actually succeeded in getting Deku in front of AFO again for plot when we already know Mr. Potato Head could summon, show himself to, or find Deku at any time he wanted. But instead we get this time skip with a bunch of heroes completely mended walking into a big, spooky mansion for AFO to evil monologue at Deku for… *counts*

FOUR PAGES!!!

Only to then give him the "I want YOU!" point over a pre-recorded message and the final nail in the coffin to me that something is off.

3. Ex-pu-LOOOO-SHUN!

It's become almost a game among friends to count how many explosions have happened since the end of the war arc - and specifically fake-out explosions. In the end of 311 we get All Might's car attacked via explosion and Deku cornered by Nagant only for All Might to be fine in the next chapter. In 315 Lady Nagant herself explodes in a blaze of glory to once again not be dead.

Gee! I wOnDeR if aLl the heroes were AcTuAlLy cornered and KiLlEd in that explosion in the mansion!

None of us do. They're fine. We're going to see it first thing next week. The shock has worn off, and it's repetitive and annoying at this point. There is no cliffhanger despite how the framing might try to tell you otherwise.

It's BAD WRITING.

The writing has been moving far too quickly and clumsily with no explanation in sight, and even character interactions are being cut short to the point of them being meaningless and empty.

This doesn't even feel like Horikoshi's bad writing. It feels like someone else is trying to call the shots and rushing him through these final bits of the series, and he's run out of things he's previously set up for months and months to reappear so someone is trying to get Dabi-reveal levels of attention with arcs and storylines that don't have the build-up to result in a satisfactory payoff.

4. At least it can get better... I hope.

Maybe those who share my suspicions or know what particular suspicions I have are with me in believing that this is a temporary disappointment and we haven't seen the last of the writing that's captivated me for years. I don't blame Horikoshi for these glaring faults that all came to a head in this chapter.

It CAN get better later, and I think it WILL- we just probably are going to have to wait for it. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the Hawks panels we got, maybe edit the last few chapters to be more in line with something more like the BNHA I know in a "fix it fic" fashion so I don't groan in anticipation of how long it might take us to get there.

See you all next week, hopefully on a much brighter note.

[the-faces-and-voices-in-my-head]

Now this is what I literally don't like about interacting with Eruris You started disrespecting Hange, twisting the fact that this art is about levi and Hange then you find it strange when levihan shippers respond. You believe that if Levihan shippers did that, it gives you a valid reason to act the same? how about being the better one? how about you do the right thing? it makes you still wrong by the way. As for the official art you have used, it screams comrades to me, not romantic, comrades as in friends and the same chapter you have used, the same battle you have used in the Manga, Levi showed even stronger emotions worrying about Hange and didn't hide it, you can check it on your own. You guys depend on couple of chapters and misinterpreting loyalty in to love, like Jean literally thought about Marco 1000 times more obvious than Levi of Erwin and yet they are not canon, what makes Erwin and Levi more than Jean and Marco's relation? Levi's ackerbond with Erwin does not mean love, a man respecting his promise and honoring his word to a precious friend is not romance, it is being good friend, a good comrade and later, killing zeke became way more than a promise to Erwin, it became due to Hange's theory to stop the rumble which was only remembered and trusted by Levi so it wasn't about the weird obsession Eruris have with Levi's promise, there are more important reasons for doing that which made it a must like stopping the rumble. The romantic or a bit intimate gestures can only be found in Levi's and Hange's art like the last released one but for Levi and Erwin, seeing them romantically is just forcing your interpretation on two comrades drinking for example together. You guys depend on the final battle in sheganshina as your reason, Levihan started from Levi's day one until the very end, full chapters confirm that not one and not number of misinterpreted actions. you have the smart pass, you have Ch.126, you have Ch132, you have Ch.139 where the plane reminds Levi with the one who eventually mattered most to him, Hange Zoe and how she was the most highlighted one of all the comrades including Erwin in the final scene...Real evidences here not misinterpretation or second guessing, Hange easily stood out and that was through Levi's eyes. To sum up, I consider Levi and Erwin friends, comrades not lovers, not by any chance and if there is a love interest for Levi, Hange is way closer and more logical than all the other options which mainly depended on assumptions and misinterpretation. The quotes you have used aren't implying any romance, not in the panels, not in their facial features (blushing for example which is a known code in AOT for romance) not in the anime, not in the voice acting, they were all passed as comrades talking about each other and to each other.

You said you love Hange, great, don't crop her out next time please. If some levihans used the same methods Eruris use, don't blame them, blame the ones who started with disrespecting Hange first and yet again that doesn't justify what you did. As a levihan stan, I will never disrespect Erwin but Erwin's arc ended with his death, Hange is the one doing and acting in the last Arc, Hange is the one all of them are saved by her sacrifice and intelligence, every victory they had was due to her leadership not just a promise, a memory or revenge. You should stop pushing Erwin everywhere, Levi never thought of Erwin alone (Hange has great presence appearing in every memory of Erwin by the way), it was always the fallen comrades not fallen Erwin unlike Hange whom he thought of alone in the final panel and this is not negotiable.

If you are convinced with what you ship, fine but don't disrespect and remove one of the most important people in the story and literally the real reason for how everything ended how it did. This will be my final interaction about the whole thing, whether anyone responds or not, that's all I have to say and won't change it. @leviackerman-666 @randomlonelymusician I don't mean to be rude yes, Levi and Erwin are canon as friends and comrades not as lovers at least to me but there you see how Hange is treated and why Eruri shippers have their infamous reputation

[19tozier]

wish you were sober (richie tozier)

warnings: underage drinking, mentions of sex, angst, pining, reader is an unreliable narrator at best

inspired by the song wish you were sober by conan gray

[losers + reader are 16+]

if someone were to ask you when you fell in love with richie, you don’t think you’d be able to answer them.

was it when you met him, thirteen and wild and so magnetic you couldn’t stay away from him? was it when you followed him into a sewer, endlessly terrified but trying to be as brave as he made you think you could be? was it when you looked at him and realized he had grown up right in front of you, and you hadn’t realized? or was it all the little moments in between, the mundane and the electric all in one?

you have no clue. all you know is this: you’re in love with richie tozier, and there’s nothing you can fucking do about it.

you bring your cup to your mouth, the edge of it pressing into your bottom lip. you don’t take a drink from it; you’re already a little buzzed, and you’re reluctant to get any drunker. you don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.

across the room from you, somehow perfectly visible despite the mass of dancing bodies separating you from him, richie leans against the wall, his arm around the waist of his girlfriend, who isn’t you.

you exhale as slowly as you can. inside of your chest, your heart feels like it is poised to shatter.

it shouldn’t shock you anymore. richie has a new girlfriend seemingly every month, a revolving-door of pretty girls that giggle when he kisses them and wear his jean jacket around school but ultimately never stay long. richie never offers explanation as to why they break up and you never ask. you’re afraid of whatever it is he might say. you’re afraid of knowing you’re not good enough for him if all of them weren’t.

you sigh. you’re such a fucking cliche. falling in love with your best friend, silently pining away as if it’ll make him notice you? you’d gag at the thought if it wasn’t your life.

a shoulder brushing against yours distracts you from your thoughts, and you glance over to see stan’s expectant face. he raises an eyebrow at you. “you alright?”

you want to scream. no, you’re not alright. you don’t think you’ve been alright since before you were officially a loser. but you can’t say that to stan, not without being perfectly honest, so you arrange your features into something resembling a smile. “what’s up, buttercup?”

stan scoffs. “you’ve been spending too much time with richie.”

will it ever stop hurting, the constant reminder of how close you are with richie but never close enough? “or he’s been spending too much time with me,” you say, sniffing arrogantly. the facade you put on sometimes is easier than breathing.

stan rolls his eyes. “sure, that’s it.” he pauses, squinting at you. “are you sure you’re okay? you look… upset, i guess.”

you snort, taking a sip of your drink as an excuse not to respond right away. your heart is in your throat at the idea of being caught. “you guess? gee, thanks stan.”

he narrows his eyes at you, his nostrils flaring slightly. behind him, bill is jumping onto mike’s back, laughing loudly. “shut up, you know what i meant. are you alright? seriously.”

you don’t give yourself time to hesitate. stan has a sixth sense for when he’s being lied to and won’t stop pestering you until you tell him the truth, and you’d like to not confess to him tonight. “yeah, stan,” you grin, feeling the lie like sawdust in your mouth. “i’m all good.”

he gives you a skeptical look, searching your face, but eventually he just sighs and nods. “alright, fine. if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

you nod back, glad you managed to escape that. “thanks, dude. hey, i’m gonna go grab a different drink, i’ll be right back.”

you don’t wait for him to say anything, or for anyone else to come with you. you just slip away, using the hordes of drunk teenagers to your advantage until you manage to get to the kitchen.

your shoulders slump, the smile you’d painted onto your face slipping away. slowly, you pour the rest of your shitty beer down the sink, opening the fridge and rifling around until you find a soda, stealing it before you can talk yourself out of it. whoever’s house this is won’t care, and besides, you think you need it.

when you leave the kitchen, your eyes fall to the spot where richie had been leaning. the wall is empty now.

pathetically, your eyes fill with tears. of course you know richie has a lot of sex, considering the self-satisfied smirk he’ll wear after getting fucked combined with the rumors that follow him like the perfume of whatever girl he’s seeing. the worst part is they aren’t even bad rumors; you’d lost count of the amount of times you had heard of how good a lover he is, or how his dick is as big as he’s often bragging, or how he does this thing with his mouth that feels like absolute heaven—

you’d heard enough. too much, probably. and it burrowed into your brain like the most insidious of weeds, sprouting thoughts you never should have let take root.

but of course richie was off fucking his girl. she was gorgeous, after all, easily one of the prettiest girls you’d ever seen, all smooth tanned skin and long blonde hair and hourglass figure. the kind of girl that richie deserved to have on his arm. the kind of girl that you would never be.

you knew this would happen. still, the pain of it takes your breath away.

you manage to stumble your way back over to the losers, greeting them with a smile that feels entirely too wooden. you play the part, laughing with bev and leaning into ben’s shoulder and gossiping quietly with eddie. you stick to your script, even when richie stumbles down the stairs sometime later with the girl tucked under his arm, both of their clothes in disarray and richie’s curls a wild mess. you’re such a seasoned professional that you barely miss a beat with eddie, even when your eyes find the hickey sucked under richie’s jaw and stay there.

for the rest of the night, you do your best to stay away from richie, always at least one loser between you two. you doubt he notices, too wrapped up in his girl. you think her name is sandy. she’s so beautiful it hurts.

eventually, you think it’s probably late enough that you can leave without raising much of a fuss. all of the other losers are still there, but bev’s already dozing against ben’s shoulder and bill is fighting a losing battle with his own drooping eyelids. you can probably slip out now, you figure, before you fall apart.

you manage to say your goodbyes as quickly as possible, waving as you turn to leave. you drove here with the others in stan’s car but it’s not too far of a walk. besides, the cold might do you some good—

a hand wraps around your wrist, jerking you back against a broad chest. when you turn, you come face to face with one richie tozier.

god, years later and he’s still the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. his jawline is sharp and square, his shoulders broad and sturdy, a whisper of the strength he will carry as a man but no less impressive now. gone are the days of the dorky kid you first met; he’d long ago traded in his hawaiian shirts for jean jackets and ripped jeans, silver rings glinting around his fingers and a chain hanging into the open collar of his t-shirt. again, you are reminded of the rumors that constantly follow him. you’re just angry they didn’t think he was hot from the very beginning.

“where are you going?” he asks, his words slurred. he’d been downing the shitty spiked punch earlier like it was his job.

you sigh, tilting your head back to look at him. there’s another hickey just to the left of his adam’s apple. “home,” you say, simply. “i’m tired.”

he frowns, stepping closer to you. the heat radiates off of him. “but i haven’t gotten to talk to you all night,” he whines, pouting ridiculously. “i missed you.”

it shouldn’t affect you. richie flirts like breathing, with anyone who will entertain him. it’s just how close you two are that means his flirting is usually aimed at you. “sorry, rich,” you say, and you find that you mean it. “next time, okay?”

his fingers release your wrist, only to catch on the curve of your waist and pull you close. the heat of his hand burns through the flimsy material of your top. you’re so focused on trying to stay upright just from that simple touch that you almost miss what he says next.

“can i come with you?” his voice is low, rough, more of a growl than anything else.

you blink, stupefied. usually you’re quicker than this, able to keep up a banter with him that’s rivaled only by him and eddie. now, you’re left tongue-tied, the endless wanting inside of you threading around your throat and choking you. “what?”

“can i come with you?” he repeats, looking down at you with his pretty eyes. his glasses slide down his nose. you fight the urge to push them back up. “we can take my truck. this party’s kind of a bore, honestly.”

you swallow, feeling your heart stutter. “what about sandy?” your mouth is so dry your tongue sticks to the roof of your mouth.

richie shrugs, casual as all hell and infuriatingly attractive. “she can last without me for a bit. i’d rather hang out with my favorite girl.” he grins at you, his dimples curving into his cheek.

it makes you want to scream. he says things like this all the time, calls you doll and baby and love like he has the fucking right, constantly says you’re the most important person in his life. and yet, he doesn’t feel the same way for you as you do for him. and he never will.

still, you’re a sucker for him. your lips curl into a weak smile. “sure, rich,” you whisper; any louder and your voice will crack. “let’s get out of here.”

he doesn’t even stop to say goodbye to anyone else, just crowding against your back and walking behind you the entire way out the front door. he’s so close that his chest brushes against your shoulder blades, his fingertips grazing over your hip. you focus on not tripping.

once you’re outside, you hold your hand out, not looking at him. “keys,” you command.

he laughs, full and bright as he digs his keys out of his pocket. “yes, nurse ratched,” he teases, dropping them into your hand. “right away, nurse ratched.”

you scowl at him, turning away to stomp your way down the block to where richie parked. it’s not a long walk but the late autumn night is chilly, especially through the thin material of your top and your skirt. you shiver, wrapping your arms around yourself.

before you can really react, richie’s shrugging off his jacket, settling the heavy denim over your shoulders. he’s just wearing a plain black t-shirt underneath, the cotton clinging to his biceps and chest, and you can’t tear your eyes away, even when he murmurs, “should’ve said you were cold, doll.”

the jacket smells like him: the apple of his shampoo, the warmth of his deodorant, the smoke from his cigarettes. it shouldn’t be a pleasant scent but it is, because it means comfort. it means home. it means your best friend and the love of your life.

your shoulders slump, your hand trembling when you finally reach his truck and reach for the driver’s side handle. “thanks, richie,” you breathe, climbing into the car before he can answer.

you don’t really know what he had in mind when he asked to leave with you, but you’re too overwhelmed to handle being alone with him for too long. already, having him this close is fogging your brain. you need to get away from him so you can fall apart in peace.

you decide to just take him home and walk from there. it proves to be the best choice, because not even a minute into your drive his chin is dropping down to his chest, his eyelids closing in longer and longer blinks until finally, he’s dozing in the front seat, big body curled in your direction. it fills you with so much warmth you think you are burning from the inside out.

it should be ridiculous, how much you love him. you should be at your limit for how much you have to give, capped out a long time ago, but everyday you fall for him a little bit more. whenever he does something particularly sweet, or funny, or attractive, you feel a little more of yourself crumble away to lay at his feet. at this point, you’re more fracture than glass, crushed into a fine powder under richie’s foot.

by the time you pull into richie’s driveway, he’s snoring lightly, his glasses knocked askew on his face. part of you wants to let him sleep, but the bigger part of you knows you need to get him into the house. you already slack on your best friend duties by secretly being in love with him, you don’t need to leave him out in the cold too.

sighing, you turn the key and shut the car off, getting out and walking around to the passenger side. you shake his shoulder, gently at first, then rougher when he doesn’t respond. he grumbles, swatting at you. you can’t help but laugh, shaking him again.

“rich,” you croon, shaking him with both hands. he groans, scrunching his face up. you snicker. “c’mon asshole, you’re too heavy for me to carry.”

he pries one eye open, glaring at you. “or you’re too small to even try,” he taunts back, sticking his tongue out.

you roll your eyes, tugging him out of the car. he goes easily enough, stumbling a little bit leaning into your side as you lock the car behind you.

you weren’t kidding when you said he was heavy. he’s just so much bigger than you, tall and broad and undeniably masculine. you try your best to take some of his weight with an arm curved around his waist, but you don’t think you’re really doing anything.

the lights are all off inside, richie’s parents gone for the weekend at some conference for his dad’s work. it makes you feel better about how you two stumble around in the dark, knocking into the walls and tripping over the stairs. finally, without much incident, you make it into richie’s room, depositing him on his bed before he can fall and brain himself on his table. his desk light is on, throwing the room into shadow but just light enough for you to see his face.

his curls spread around him on his pillow, his eyes already closed. he’s on top of his covers but there’s not much you can do about that. the only thing you can do is untie his boots and pluck his glasses from his face, letting him get as comfortable as he can with his clothes still on.

you stop, looking down at him. he’s almost angelic in his sleep, peaceful and quiet for probably the only time in his life. he’s so gorgeous like this, vulnerable, unguarded. it makes you feel like a creep to be looking at this without his knowledge. or his approval.

biting your lip, you turn to the door, only stopping when you realize you still have his jacket. carefully, you shrug it off, going to lay it on his bed when his voice stops you.

“keep it.”

you look up to see his eyes half-open, locked on you. the lamp throws his face into sharp angles and shadow, but the expression on his face is soft. his fingers stretch towards you.

“it looks good on you,” he continues, his voice barely more than a whisper. “you should wear it all the time.”

you don’t know what to say, frozen at the foot of his bed. it feels like everything you’ve ever wanted, before you remember that he’s drunk and out of his mind. he probably thinks you’re sandy. there’s no way he’d ever say that to you.

but he keeps going, his voice rough, smooth velvet over steel. “you look good all the time. makes me feel insane. just wanna touch you but i can’t.”

your heartbeat is pounding in your ears. through trembling lips, you manage to get out, “what about sandy?”

he shrugs, a tiny movement that feels unsure. you’ve never seen him shy like this. the fact that sandy’s likely the reason makes you burn inside. “she’s cool and all, but she’s not you. you’re my best friend, (y/n). i love you.”

you gasp softly, nowhere near loud enough for him to hear. your heart feels like it’s being pulled in two. “i love you too, rich. more than you could ever understand.”

but he shakes his head firmly. “no, you don’t get it. i love you. you’re my—you’re my other half. my partner in crime. i’d be lost without you.” before you can respond, he sighs and whispers, “wish you were my girlfriend. not sandy.”

his eyes slip closed the next instant. as you stand there, simultaneously turned to stone and burning alive, he gives a soft snore, his features relaxing in sleep.

you stare down at him for what feels like centuries, suddenly too old to move. you look down at the jacket in your arms, then back up to him. a loose curl lays against his forehead. your fingers itch to push it behind his ear.

“i wish you were sober,” you whisper. he doesn’t twitch.

you leave the jacket laid at the foot of his bed when you go.

(part two)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hello yes, could you elaborate on the Comte wedding event pleease. Crying and fangirling and dying are all acceptable. I missed it and I adore your rambles about Comte? Thank you either way.

!!! I’d be delighted to!! And awww, I’m so glad :D I love to write about him in any capacity, it makes me so happy to know people enjoy it when I do! Tysm for the full license to cry/fangirl/die because lbr it ain’t a Comte event if all three of those things don’t happen .Please don’t worry, I don’t mind talking abt it anyway! 💕💕💕

Okay my fellow Comte stans, you know the drill! I’ll be placing the details of the Wedding Story Event (jpn version) below the cut! Please don’t read if you want to wait for the official translation, and I hope you enjoy if you do take a peak! c:

AIGHT Y’ALL in fair Verona where we lay our scene-- This event begins on a lovely summer day with Comte and MC at a boutique picking out a wedding dress for their upcoming ceremony. As usual, she provides a bit of background as to how we got here. Comte doesn’t have a proposal event (as far as I know) like the other suitors because he actually proposes marriage in his MS. I won’t go too far into details just in case, but they essentially swear their love to each other in a church at night--just the two of them. (I’m not 100% sure, but I think this event takes place on the anniversary of the vow that they shared, what Comte called becoming “a vampire’s bride.” Yes it’s as hot as it sounds AND I LOVED IT). Now, despite their private promise to each other, Comte does specify that he fully intends to have a public wedding whenever she feels comfortable doing that. As such, this event is picking up from there.

With all the nitty gritty settled, it’s time to get to the fun bits. So Comte is weaving in and out of the dresses, trying to find the perfect one for his beloved. MC is equal parts exasperated but amused, and she notes that it reminds her so much of when she first debuted in high society (reference to the beginning of Comte’s MS). Back then, when she agreed to debut, he told her that he would immediately send word to his tailor to make the necessary preparations. It’s a kind of nostalgic moment; she remembers how thorough and excited he was (”I’ll be sure to show off your every charm”), and he’s effusing that energy in the boutique too. Eventually he settles on two of them and requests that they both be prepared, and MC sputters. She’s like Comte???? W H Y we only need one dress???? And he insists that, since it’s a special occasion, there’s no harm in it is there? He also goes on to say that it is in line with her culture’s tradition of “dyeing the bride in the husband’s colors.” MC shoots back that the tradition doesn’t entail several wedding dresses for the bride, but he pays the correction no mind. Y’all. I loved this part because it just emphasizes how much of a LIL SHIT he can be. Like he’s 100% harmless but I was like BOI IF U DON’T--I WILL KISS UR CUTE FACE. YOU STOP THAT.

I find it interesting especially because it remains in line with a trend about Comte that is so arresting for me, something that I find so endearing about him. I’ll note other places in the event I find it, but in this moment he is revealing something critical: for all of his capacity to play with the language and expectations that other people have/use, he only ever uses it for good. Here he’s purely being playful (with a stark note of respect and awareness); he has no intention of overwhelming her or undermining her cultural expectations of what a wedding means. Especially because MC, even in her monologue, isn’t truly upset--she honestly seems to find it adorable and funny more than anything. It’s also clear that Comte is working within her comfort zones. While he would buy the entire damn boutique if she let him, he settles on two because he knows it would stress her out otherwise (MC tends to be p pragmatic, not really about extravagance she is a mood).

And so they make their selection and exit the boutique, and they’re walking arm in arm back to the carriage. Comte laments narrowing it down to only two, but he’s happy they found something nice. MC thanks him for bringing her along, but he says it’s only natural--he wanted to pick out the dress the world would see together, he would never be happy with it otherwise. MC melts (WHO WOULDN’T) and says she’s really looking forward to wearing them, and he’s shook AF. 

(OKAY BUT I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS. DOES HE UNDERSTAND HOW TOUCHED I AM. DOES HE KNOW. His route hammers home this idea that for Comte, being with someone absolutely means being on the same page. It means being there for each other yes--but it also means making sure the other person feels wanted and included. He could have so easily just picked his favorite and been like “yeah this is what we’re going with.” But not only does he not do that, he refuses the very idea of a ceremony without it. He wants this to mean something for both of them, and he’s more than willing to put in the time and effort to ascertain that. I’M FUCKING TENDER OKAY. HE CARES SO MUCH AND I SOB)

He asks her if there’s anything else that she really, really wants for their wedding, and she thinks it through. It’ll be a reasonably sized wedding, with the men of the mansion in attendance and most of their closer high society friends. They’ve picked out a dress, the venue is set, the people closest to her will be there...she really can’t think of anything else? So she asks him if he has anything he really wants to do for the wedding, and he replies in the negative too, saying that “My only ideal wedding can be one in which I can see you at your most happy." ARE YOU KIDDING ME--Before MC can recover from that, he goes on: "Even now, I'm enjoying the preparations, and I want to do whatever I can for you." MC feels like she can never win against his sweet affection, so she nearly kills him with her answering line: "It’s more than enough. More than anything, being able to swear our love together again--to renew our vow--is the best part of it all." Comte is visibly shocked and is quiet for moment (MAN DOWN!!!!!!!!! VAMPIRE DOWN GET THE DEFIBRILATORS!!!!! LEONARDO PUT THAT LIGHTNING ROD AWAY I SWEAR TO GOD--) before he just replies with a “Is that so :>>>” And translating this nearly killed me [At the sight of his gentle smile, I smile back.] IM GOING TO SCREAM THEY ARE JUST SO TENDER IM SOFTE????????????

As they’re walking, Comte asks MC to tell him about weddings in her time. What were they like? He wants a reference point. She goes on to describe how ceremonies really range from formal to more informal affairs, and gets to a little custom that’s apparently held in Japan. When a groom intends to marry a bride, he will go to the bride’s family to ask for their approval. Comte visibly seems concerned about it, and I’m pretty sure he feels bad denying her that experience; not only did he propose to her without knowing any of that, her family isn’t within range to be able to honor it properly now. Even so, he keeps listening and comments now and again with a great deal of interest, paying close attention. He asks, what happens if the groom is rejected by the family? MC goes on to say that it’s a kind of test of perseverance: the groom is expected to ask/prove himself until he gets an answer in the affirmative. Internally, she notes that such a thing rarely ever happens irl--it’s mostly dramatized in movies and TV shows. She used to dream of how thrilling it might be to have someone do that for her, but it was mostly just a silly little fancy, nothing she was obsessed over. Comte, being a literal fucking legend, senses this emotional shift in milliseconds, and starts musing about something. When she tries to ask what’s up, he’s like not to worry leave everything to me.

PLEASE CUE THE CIRCUS MUSIC. BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO TURN INTO A CLOWN FEST.

So it cuts to them back home and Comte is asking Sebastian to give MC’s hand in marriage. Sebastian is utterly bEWILDERED and is like “I mean I understand I’m probably the closest relative she has right now but also WHAT!? YOU’RE MY BOSS/LORD I’M YOUR BUTLER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD”. Comte 100% is undaunted by this very normal reaction and insists that class/status has no place in matters like this, and Sebastian and MC are desperately trying to stop him from bowing his head/kneeling. MC notes she never expected him to take it to heart, tells him "Comte, you really don't have to go that far, it's a custom not a duty--" (IT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY????? YOU CAN FEEL THEIR MOUNTING CONCERN AND I CAN’T BELIEVE COMTE WAS STRAIGHT UP JUST “i am not above begging” AND THEY’RE LIKE YOU SHOULD BE YOU SHOULD BE ABOVE BEGGING)

The circus only escalates when Leo comes in LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF "damn...bahahahhahahaaaaa now THIS oughtta be good/interesting." MC (and I simultaneously) start yelling at him and he replies "What? Comte's already ready and willing, why stop him?" For whatever reason, this gives Comte an idea (NEVER A GOOD SIGN) and he’s like you know what? That’s actually perfect, get everybody in here I’m gonna ask them for permission too :D

Several things I want to say about this. 1. COMTE LITERALLY DOES NOT EVEN REACT TO LEO’S MOCKING HE JUST “omg ur face was useful for smth for once this gives me an idea” 2. META TIME. First and foremost, I seriously can’t deal. This man knows MC has nothing because of her traveling through time, no friends or family--he’s always so, so aware of what she’s sacrificing to be with him. It is never outside of his thinking. Not only does this decision solidify her presence as a member of their family (I’m just so UGLY SOBBING about the fact that he does not consider them all ANYTHING LESS--THEY ARE HIS CHIRREN AND HE LOVES THEM AND I’M SOFT) this is also such a brilliant, strategic move on his part. Not only is he doing this to fulfill her younger wishes of having someone be so confident in their love for her that they would insist on it in front of her family/loved ones--his doing this also solidifies her presence as his wife within the mansion from here on. There can be no mistake; this is an unquestionable statement as to how her identity has shifted in meaning, a powerful allusion to his possessive streak. (and WE LOVE THAT FOR US HELL YEAH) 

Furthermore, I continue to be fascinated by the way he keeps subverting traditional or expected forms of supplication. While many could see this as a yielding of his pride (and in some ways he undeniably is) this choice to acknowledge her culture’s customs yields much more valuable dividends for him. 1. MC--notorious for never betraying the things she wants, having trouble asking for anything--is have her dreams fulfilled even if they were just silly little fantasies from when she was young. He’s actively making her happy, and he gets to openly gush about how much he loves her (FOR HIM THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A WIN-WIN YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND--) 2. This is a way for him to make amends and do proper respect to the marriage customs of her place/time, and that’s infinitely important to him. He’s trying to set a precedent; that even if he ever does make a mistake or neglect something (even if accidental) he will do his utmost to make it right, pride and money be DAMNED. 

While it can be argued that he’s just being silly and over-the-top, when you look closely this is 100% a clever, very mindful approach to their future. While it may partially have been executed on an emotional/excited whim, he is also claiming MC as his own in the most clear and respectful way possible. And tbh that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen 

So, after Leo walks in on them everyone else starts filing in one at a time (OKAY YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME THAT THEY WEREN’T ALL HUDDLED UP TO THE DOOR SQUIRMING TO HEAR WHAT WAS GOING ON AND AT SOME POINT LEO SAID “omfg i gotta see this dumbass bitch on his knees” AND BLEW THEIR COVER/MADE THEM EVEN MORE CURIOUS):

Jeanne: "It's so noisy in here." 

Mozart: "What's going on?"

Comte: "Ah, excellent timing. I want to get permission from everyone."

Vincent: "?????? Did you do something wrong Comte?? What could you possibly need forgiveness for?"

Isaac: "A mistake made/wrongdoing by Comte?...Why am I dreading what it could be..."

Dazai: “Ah yes, yes I see, you are asking for a young lady's hand in marriage” (IM WHEEZING BC EVERYONE ELSE IS SO LOST AND HE'S JUST 100% ON THE BALL KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON THE NARRATIVE DISSONANCE IM CRYING)

Theo: Young lady??? The hell are you going on about

So things are getting increasingly chaotic and MC is just [jfc this is getting out of hand, Comte they don’t even know what you’re asking them to do]. She tries to explain but falters, and Comte puts an arm around her--signals that he’ll give  them the context. So he tells them "You all know that our wedding day is approaching. As such, I'm asking you all for your approval in taking MC as my bride. No matter what happens, I promise to make her happy forever--for every moment, every second of our time together. Please, forgive my taking her" (WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEAD WAS IN MY HANDS IDK HOW MC DIDN’T DIE ON THE SPOT S I R. SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) MC: [...Comte...My heart melts at his confession, at his earnest plea. It feels like every single iota of our feelings are infused in every word he speaks, teeming with the love shared between us in overwhelming measure.]

For a little while silence falls until Napoleon speaks up, and honestly? It was so sweet ;-; I tear up every single time: “Forgiven. You know how much I dislike formalities anyway. And besides, who could say no to le Comte?” MC notes that everyone murmurs in agreement and a kind of warmth settles in the room. Arthur notes that MC will be a Comtesse very soon and MC just. I’m going to be a WHAT now (”C-c-comtesse??”). And it’s so FUCKING FUNNY YOU CAN FEEL THE RED EYE EDIT MEME ON COMTE WHEN HE GOES “Oh? Is there anything wrong with that? Everybody said yes, after all :>” MC internally accuses them of ganging up on her, but reveals that more than anything she’s a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of love in the best way:

MC: [Overwhelmed with feeling; touched, a little shy, embarrassed, but also full of joy--my eyes burn at the edges with tears] “I'm glad everyone approves c:”

Comte: Agreed :> your country/homeland has a nice custom. A v important step to inviting my loved one into my life as my wife :>>>>

So it then cuts to them in Comte’s room after the circus and MC thanks him for the sweet confession in front of everyone, tells him how happy it made her. He insists that it was only natural he would, and that it isn’t even enough.

Comte: “I am the one...your life, your time as a human being; I'll be taking all of it from you.”

MC: [...Comte? He took my hand with a very serious expression]

Comte: "As I said before, I will make you a vampire someday."

MC: “Don't call it that--a price. I want to live with you too!”

MC notes that while she hasn’t made the leap yet, she knows she’ll be ready for it soon enough. 

Comte: “Thank you. But the last thing I want is to take things from you, I want to do everything I can to make you happy, to make you smile. Whether that means weddings, requests--anything in my power.”

COMTE REALLY SAID "she is entrusting me with her future and that means I have the responsibility of not only ascertaining her happiness, but proving my unwavering devotion to it" AND IM HOLLERING????? LADIES GET YOU A FUCKING MANS. MC finally begins to understand this, and she’s like OMFG is that why you went off so hard this afternoon???? And Comte’s like :>>>> guilty as charged, though I think I'm also just still excited about the wedding too, haha! They hug it out (YESSSSSSS LET ME H O L D) and MC asks him again if there’s anything he wants for the wedding too. Aight y’all I would be irresponsible if I didn’t warn you beforehand, get fucking tissues. I’m still upset abt his answer and I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. He thinks about it for a bit, before kissing her forehead and saying “I suppose, can you pray for my happiness too? That's enough."

AIGHT IMMA GO BACK TO THE EVENT IN A SECOND BUT I GOTTA SAY. BITCH. BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? COMTE THAT ISN’T OPTIONAL THAT’S A GOD DAMN PREREQUISITE?????????????????? OFC WE WISH FOR YOUR HAPPINESS WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? THE A U D A C I T Y. I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE INSULTED IN ALL MY LIFE. OKAY RANT OVER.

MC is surprised but naturally agrees to it, having wanted that for him even without prompting. She continues to think on it, insisting that she wants to do something for him too. An idea sparks but it only says that she made preparations without telling him anything for now, preparing a tangible sign of her love for the wedding.

The premium end begin here. She’s getting dressed for the wedding, and she’s--as usual--in awe of his perfect selection of accessories/jewelry to go with the gown. She’s about to put on her shoes when she notices something odd, and there’s a knock at the door. Comte enters to ask if she’s ready, and they both freeze and stare at each other. They both sheepishly admit to being completely taken with the sight of the other, and they laugh about it together. Comte tries to ask if she’s ready again, and she assures him that she is--just that she found something unexpected in her shoes.

He explains that the coin is an English six pence. Sebastian told him that they are no longer made in her time, and Comte explains he acquired it about three hundred years ago in England when he was living there (he says that he kept it back then because he liked the design on it). He explains that there is a tradition, that the English would put a six pence in a bride’s left shoe in the hopes of wishing her good fortune and prosperity in her oncoming union. MC has her understandable and customary (JESUS I FORGET HOW OLD THIS MAN IS SOMETIMES) and he places a hand over hers that’s holding the coin when she starts staring at it. 

Comte: "Hey, MC....Time goes by, and various things will continue to change. Among them, it is only vampires who survive without dying or changing."

MC: "Comte..."

Comte: "I used to think that made it--made us--empty. But...I don't think that's the case anymore. I'm proud of being able to keep this undying, unchanging love for you."

[He put the coin back in my left shoe, and offered them to me--gentle as though they were made of glass(Cinderella's)]

MC spends this exchange on the verge of tears, but keeps it together for the wedding. It depicts their loved ones all around them as they walk down the aisle, and skips to the end of the ceremony. The priest tells Comte he may now kiss the bride (WHEN I WAS TRANSLATING IT SAID “KISS YOUR BUSINESS” AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED), but just as he’s about to lift her veil--she stops him in his tracks. He’s confused, and says her name, but she reassures him that she just wants to offer him a wedding gift before he lifts it. Hidden in her bouquet are two pins that she had made, and she pins them to his jacket. They were made from preserved flowers, encased in metal to render them undying/everlasting. 

MC: [Me too...I want to wish for your happiness...]

MC: “For you, things might feel fleeting--like they just pass you by, are lost before you can grasp them. But even so, my feelings won't change; just like this preserved/undying flower and the life of a vampire--dedicated to [Comte's real name] in everlasting love."

COMTE.EXE HAS CURRENTLY SHUTDOWN. REBOOTING.

MC notes that his eyes get misty and he leans his forehead against hers.

MC: [Comte's real name]? 

Comte: .................I want to hug you as tight as I possibly can, but I'd hate to ruin the flowers/your gift to me

BITCH WHEN I TELL YOU I SOBBED. WHEN I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. I CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT HER GIFT IS NOT ONLY CANON BUT ITS LITERALLY ON HIS WEDDING SPRITE, HER LOVE IS A VISIBLE MANIFESTATION ON HIS PERSON ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2. THE FACT THAT SHE ONLY ADMITS TO BEING THE HAPPIEST SHE CAN BE WHEN SHE SEES HIM SO HAPPY TOO. THIS IS SO MUCH. SO M U C H

And so Comte lifts her veil and kisses her gently uwu cover ur eyes chirren, the hall erupts in raucous applause and the crowd starts congratulating them!! Comte then encourages everyone to have fun, and the reception takes on the vibe of a kind of social gathering. MC notes that he seems to prefer this level of interaction, just relaxed and everyone chill, and she turns to tell him that it seems like it’ll be fun! Before she can finish her sentence, he kisses her fiercely before leaning back with a sigh, "It's still not enough, but I'll save the rest for later tonight." BITCH!!?!?!??!??!? HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE FOCUS ON A STUPID PARTY WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HELLO???????MC notes: [Everyone from the mansion that saw the kiss made fun of me endlessly, and I hid my face in my bouquet] SAVE HER. Once again, it skips to the end of the reception and they’re now in Comte’s room. (I will blink twice if I think you need tissues BLINKS TWICE) 

Comte: "Yup, perfect." [He places the flower pins I gave him next to THE hourglass in the room, looking pleased HNGNNGNGNNGGNGN MY EYE HOLES ARE SUFFERING

MC: "I'm glad you liked the gift c:" 

Comte: "It is proof of your unchanging love, of course I cherish it :>"

She’s just so happy to see him so delighted with it. He asks how she liked the ceremony, and she gushes about how much she loved it. He hugs her (AWWWWWWWWWWWW) and then he notes that while it was fun to celebrate, all he wants now is time with his wife (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA). He starts kissing her like the world is ending, and she says she needs to get changed--but he doesn’t care, says she’s fine as she is and that he wants her right now.

Aight usually I don’t get into epilogue territory, but honestly, this shit was JUST too good. Now this man made of magic asks MC if she’s wearing her bridal garter (you know, the one that usually comes with the whole bride ensemble in Western tradition). And she’s like ???? Uh, yeah, of course? Why... He says that he saw something interesting at a friend’s wedding reception once upon a time, and explains that the garter is usually removed and thrown to the bachelors (analogous to the bride’s throwing her bouquet, and whoever catches it will be the next to get married). PLEASE NOTE HE IS KISSING HER FOR LIKE 90% OF THIS IT’S AMAZING

MC: "So it's like the bouquet toss?" 

Comte: "Yes. Now then, how did he remove the garter...?”

HE DUCKS DOWN AND SHE’S LIKE COMTE!?!?

Comte: “...Ah yes, the groom removes it with his teeth >:D”

And so this man HAS THE TIME OF HIS LIFE tugging it down slowly under her dress, caressing her legs and loving every part of her. MC’s face is on fire, and she’s torn between being turned on and embarrassed. Eventually he reappears after teasing her MERCILESSLY and admits that he didn’t do it at the reception because he didn’t want anyone else to see her reaction. Blushing, shy, desirous--all of these feelings are his to keep and enjoy. (I!!!!! LOVE!!!!!!!!!! HOW SUBTLY POSSESSIVE HE IS AAAAAAAAAA) MC notes internally that she feels the same way about him, how he only shows this intensely passionate side to her. Comte is uncharacteristically impatient and frenzied that night, and they both go at it.

It skips to midnight where the two are cuddling in the aftermath, just being cute and happy. Comte, the absolute MADLAD is already thinking about how to celebrate next year--and she just giggles at him (he’s a wackadoo but he’s her wackadoo LMFAO MOOD) and he laughs with her. They essentially swear to promise their love over and over in the future, and it just ends on that wholesome note :>>>

Also can I just. The fact that he lived for so long alone, but was always, always paying attention to all of these little things that are done with a person’s loved one ;-; that he would remember his friend doing that at his wedding and be like BROOOOO I WANNA DO THAT IF I EVER GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!! I just. It’s so heartbreaking and touching at the same time, I just want to hold him forever ;-; the fact that he doesn’t seem to worry as much about his own happiness, seems absolutely floored that MC would do anything in return. I JUST LOVE HIM WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME 

THIS IS WHAT PEAK PERFORMANCE LOOKS LIKE

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[normal-thoughts-official]

I'm ignoring my responsibilities in favor of watching the All Malec Moments video compilation so get ready for a livewatch no one asked for

Hodge is so incredibly wrong about everything he says about Magnus and it's kind of impressive because all he says is heavily supported by the Clave's files, which. Is proof of how great Magnus is at manipulating them and having them think exactly what he wants them to, tbh. Especially considering that as much as Magnus closes off emotionally, he was always very caring and kind to all other downworlders and warlocks, like, they all know they can trust him, he was named HWoB, he has a thousand kids, he took them all into hiding, etc. But the Clave and circle members are still 100% sure he's a super greedy lothario who's good for nothing but partying, and like. Obviously it's because they racist but they have an intelligence system and a file full of pictures and information and it all seems to support what Hodge is saying about him. So like Magnus was quite literally living a double life, with a whole personality he put up for shadowhunters and enemies, and another for his allies and friends, and even that one isnt 100% him because he was still trying to protect himself by closing himself off from relationships. and thats fucking impressive like my man is so smart i love him

Their first official talk is so funny magnus literally goes "I'm magnus" and Alec goes "Alec" and then he smiles and then he just goes. "Oh yeah right we should uh we should go to the hmm youhavebeautifuleyes what's it called hm" and its hilarious because they exchanged three (3) words and Alec is already all lost because Magnus is just That Beautiful. also all Magnus has to do is introduce himself and Alec smiles for the first time in 4 episodes like bro. bro. seriously. help him

he's SO frustrated when Alec doesn't get the "i love a dirty lair" flirt like he does that little eyebrow raise and hes just like "what the hell i thought that was GOOD" but Alec's head is legit playing wii music

Magnus pays izzy for "defending the warlocks" i had forgotten about that and it makes me so soft ;-;

Magnus and Izzy were just vibing with magnus asking her what presents Alec likes and clary immediately interrupts to ask about the memory demon like homophobic from day one i guess

Magnus is positively impressed by the way Clary goes "I'll do anything to save my mother" you can see how much he values loyalty right then have i mentioned that i love him

we talk about the "I'm talking to you" part a lot but we never mention how Magnus just throws that one and yeets off with clary not even waiting for a reaction he's just like that's RIGHT bitch you have beautiful hazel eyes too! do with that what you will i am now summoning a demon goodbye forever

the second him and Clary are away from the rest he tells her not to trust anyone and to be careful, like... ugh he cares so much it's unreal and again very deliberate, flirt a little, give izzy a necklace, throw in some innuendos, make it seem like it's all very innocuous so no one bothers to follow them or listen in when he goes away with Clary alone, and then immediately warn her about the clave when he gets away from the others. like he cares so much and he's so good at keeping that visible only for those he wants to it's astounding, my man is so talented and i hate that he had to learn to do that to survive but god i admire him and how committed he is to helping others too. like he could say "welp who cares it's dangerous imma go fuck off" like ragnor did but not only did he stay but he had a huge vulnerability with all his generosity and he never gave that up not for a second, even as he closed himself off from having any close friends or family or lovers, he never was anything if not generous and kind

the way he deliberately calls Jace shadowhunter in the most uninterested and even lowkey condescending way after the "pretty boy" incident idndjdndi we stan a king

the way Alec and magnus hold hands to summon the demon and even Magnus seems a bit shocked at the intensity of the sound and the bond that they make like. obviously they have their little staring contest and Alec is doing the Lightwood Intensity™ thing but like you can see Magnus frown just slightly and be a little confused because it was so strong right off the bat. even the sound of when they hold hands is louder than when the others do, like you can just feel their connection and the way magnus' magic flows so freely through Alec like god the soulmate energy tbh

Alec has a full body jerk when they hold hands too and he's the only one like damn we get it u 2 r vibin get a room

Izzy going "you ppl are pathetic" straight to the hets is so funny especially after Alec reacted to holding magnus' hand like he had gotten a 1000W electric shock or something. but i get the feel maybe she did that deliberately so they wouldnt pay as much attention to Alec's reaction too

the special effects were truly so bad like we all knew this but damn

Jace is such an asshole like Alec made it to kill the demon because it was you know about to seriously hurt them all and Magnus had just said that he couldn't contain the demon for longer (and like we know that Alec is the only one who ever cared if Magnus overexerted himself out of the shadowhunters but like bro this affects you) and Jace just???? shoved him??????? against the wall???? like a fucking piece of shit??? they should have let valak kill him tbh

the first time magnus calls him Alexander is when he calls Alec to see if he wants a drink and it's just like very clearly a thing that's supposed to be between them two? like he never did it when there were others nearby and i dig that

the fact that when asking Alec out he said "it was nice getting to know you, you seem sympathetic" like he could have gone with a lot of better more flirty adjectives but for a second the truth slipped out and he said what he thought - that while Alec was objectively you know tall and strong and all what really attracted him was the way Alec clearly gave a fuck whether or not Magnus was struggling with his magic to keep the damn demon at bay. and that was before the magic sharing shit too when Alec proved him right by cleaning up his things and saying that he had exerted himself enough for one day. like so many ppl see Magnus as the All Powerful Son Of Asmodeus Who's Also There To Service Shadowhunters and Alec just shows the faintest signs of caring about his wellbeing and he's immediately drawn to him like damn Im sad

also maybe this might be why he asked Alec to come so he could draw from his strength specifically, like he knew from the little hand holding thing that Alec was open and receptive to his magic (which probably adds to the "sympathetic" stuff like the fact that Alec had such an intense reaction to his magic and yet didnt try to push it back or draw away from it basically shows that he's open to Magnus if that makes sense? not only because magic is a part of warlocks but also because shadowhunters are all taught that magic is like, dirty and evil, so it would be instinctive for Alec to be resistant to demonic magic in his body, but he wasn't, he accepted it so readily and intensely it was a shock to the both of them) and also that he cared enough to support him. he kinda had Magnus' back from the beginning, first killing that circle member in the club before Magnus even saw him, then helping Magnus kill the other, then immediately making it to kill the demon when Magnus said he couldn't hold him back for long. like im aware I'm reading too much into this but s1 malec was very kept to the between-the-lines and its very interesting to me to think what Magnus was thinking, even if obviously on a subconscious level. Alec was showing himself to be open, reliable and caring, and magnus values that, and hes attracted to him and he hasnt had that in a while, because he wouldnt allow himself, but now he's healing and the pull he feels when he finally gets that while being emotionally available enough to accept these little gestures of caring is really strong. love that for him tbh

i go FERAL over everything about the magic sharing shit okay i always have. the way alec shows up and Magnus is kind of falling over, exhausted from trying to hold onto luke, and Alec immediately runs to support his weight and make sure hes okay? and magnus even as he was about to fall over never had his magic falter, my man couldn't keep his balance but still wouldnt come close to stumbling and risking luke's life further for even a second. so when Alec gets there he's just quite literally having his back, supporting his weight, when even Magnus didnt care about that (which like. unhealthy) and was focused on luke? and like Magnus can focus on luke because Alec is there to give him his support and make sure he's fine and how long's it been since he last had someone to do that?? and it's clearly alec's first instinct and like we know Jace or even Clary wouldnt fucking react like that. and then they have this ridiculous fucking staring contest again like we get it alec you're gay panicking at Magnus' beautiful eyes but like pls? and then we get to the most important part which is TAKE WHAT YOU NEED

like JDNDJSNSKDNDJDBSHSBSUSNSISNSIBSZJBZUZBSJSBSISNSSINSIS *SCREAMS INTO OBLIVION, SENDING SELF OUT OF EARTH'S GRAVITY ZONE*

his reaction is just SO intense and immediate he's just like "take what you need" he just offers himself fully to help Magnus just like that, no hesitation, and like Magnus is literally drawing from Alec's strength/life force, there should be some kind of resistance, even from a regular person or a friend, like its a very natural instinct. but Alec just grabs his hand and goes take what you need and he doesn't resist he just lets him do it and lets Magnus take his strength, because he genuinely worries about his wellbeing and safety just because he does, he believes in protecting others and being there for them, same as Magnus, and to Alec it's the most natural thing in the world but to Magnus it's shocking because he's always been self reliant, he has to be, he's been alone too many times and he's been used too many times and he's scared of what he'll let people take from him if he opens himself up because he always gives and gives, and he hasnt even let anyone be there for him to have his back and give him support when he needed in these last few centuries, not fully, not since Camille. but Alec shows up and just immediately cares for him in both small (like later when he refuses to let Magnus clean his couch magically because he knows he's tired and does it himself) and huge (like literally not hesitating before letting Magnus use a super intimate and presumably draining spell on him without putting any kind of limit, so Magnus can not overexert himself like he always does) ways and it means so much to him? and hes just so drawn and attracted to him and suddenly he realizes he's catching feelings that he had forgotten how to, because of course he had been healing and opening up, but he still kept people at some kind of length that didnt allow them to take care of him even if they wanted to, but Alec got that opening and he dived right in, and Magnus realizes how starved he's been for this kind of care and support that he's been denying himself and he decides to chase this, take it seriously, and i just aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and like again Alec doesn't even think twice about it, because he's always been the protector and the support anyway, and he doesn't want to let anyone struggle and also most of that is just him being a Decent Human Being, but just like he got that opening that no one else did before, he met Magnus at the right time and he was sympathetic and caring and that sparked so much in Magnus, made him realize just how much he's been craving affection and care and close contact with people, and being vulnerable emotionally, and all of that that he's been denying himself. obviously magnus is romantically attracted to him but right then Alec is unlocking honesty with himself inside of magnus, he's unlocking vulnerability and not using it against him but really making a good thing out of it, and magnus' forgotten it could feel like this, safe and nice instead of hurting and scary. and again it's such a simple gesture but fuck my boy's been starved!! for so long!!! okay! and he can't help but want to desperately clutch to that feeling because against all odds he trusts alec to see his vulnerability right then (and he deliberately lets him see it further when he gives Alec that drink, tells him he's been closed off, that alec's unlocked something in him. you can see all the sadness and hope and vulnerability in his eyes right then, pretty much for the first time in the show, hes just so open and vulnerable and that's deliberate! first time was a fluke but second time he's choosing to because he wants to see where this goes, and if the magic sharing scene is the spark, the drinking scene is the fire, because they're not in a life or death situation anymore, Magnus is choosing to give Alec a chance by showing him a glimpse of his insecurities and Alec answers in kind, letting Magnus see his own confusion and want, and also again shows his caring and doesn't betray or use magnus' vulnerability and fuck!!! Magnus falls in love right then because this boy stays with him all night and talks, and he sees Magnus look at him with shiny eyes and admit that he's been scared of relationships, and he tells magnus not to overexert himself, and they click and Alec is open to his magic and hes funny and hes compassionate and also passionate about what he believes in, and they have so much in common with the way they hide and care so deeply and protect others always and are so loyal and i just. udndjdndidjdjxnxjxnskxndk SOULMATES god)

I need to lie down actually this was a bad idea I'm not strong enough I'm too feral

Might continue this later who knows. I'll be tagging malec livewatch and also long post as always if you want to filter this nonsense out

[stellar-alley]

•If The World Was Ending•

This one shot is based off of the song If The World Was Ending by JP Saxe and Julia Michales. Sorry about no italics, when i copied it over they didn’t change and I can’t go and change all of them.

~

I was distracted

And in traffic

I didn't feel it

When the earthquake happened

Edward Kaspbrak, risk analyst, fellow New Yorker, was stuck in the one thing he hated most, traffic. The air conditioner in his car was on high, the mid-June air was hot and humid. As much as he craved to open the windows and get some fresh air, he knew how prone he was to road rage, especially during traffic, and wasn’t in the mood to hear his victim’s response. He just wanted to curse them out in peace. 

“What the fuck is going on? MOVE ASSHAT!” He shouted at the car in front of him that just randomly halted. He watched in confusion as the driver, a teenage girl, stepped out of her car and looked around. Then he noticed a couple other drivers doing the same. Traffic had completely stopped around him, it created a weird vibe, New York became quieter for a moment and it was very unnerving. 

Eddie considered it for a moment, everyone’s stopped so you’re not gonna get hit by a car, he thought before he followed suit and got out of his car. 

“What the hell is going on?” He asked the closest person to him, which was the teenage girl. She had short wavy brown hair and wore a jean vest and matching shorts. 

“You didn’t feel it?” Her voice is filled with concern as she raises an eyebrow. 

“Feel what?”.

“The earthquake,” She says.

But it really got me thinkin'

Were you out drinkin'?

Were you in the living room

Chillin' watchin' television?

The news sent a wave of worries through Eddie’s body, he raked his hand through his hair. His gaze went slightly blurry as he tried to examine his surroundings, seeing if anything had collapsed or if people were screaming. 

The teen must’ve noticed his change in emotion as she continued with, “It wasn’t major or anything. The news guy said everything is fine. But you know New Yorkers, they overreact and all” She smiled nervously at him, worried that she’d used the wrong words. 

There’d been a policeman a couple of cars down and she advised everyone to get back into their cars and wait for the traffic to pick up again. So Eddie got back into his car. It took awhile for the traffic to pick up again but it did. 

His knuckles turned white, gripping the steering wheel as his mind began to race with the thought of what his wife, Myra, must be thinking right now.“She’s probably throwing a fit right now cause I’m not home” he sighed as he glanced at his phone on its stand. He noticed that it wasn’t able to connect to wifi or data. The lines must be down or something…. Shit. Eddie realized, knowing that would only make things worse. 

“Ah fuck me”, he sighed in frustriation. Only then did Eddie reluctantly release one of his hands from the steering wheel to pinch the bridge or his nose. 

Eds, at least buy me dinner first, a voice popped into Eddie’s head, but it wasn’t his. Oh no, he’d never refer to himself as that terrible nickname. Only one person ever called him that nowadays... Richie. 

I wonder what the ‘famous comedian’ Richie Trashmouth Tozier is doing. Eddie smirked at the idea. He wondered if Richie was blackout drunk, high as a bird, or jerking it in his room. That’s something Eddie had been doing a lot of lately, especially when times were tough back at his apartment with Myra. (not jerking off, thinking or Richie)

 His mind would wonder about his childhood best friend, how he was doing, what his latest comedy sketch was about (since he started writing his own stuff after the IT incident), he also worried about Richie’s bad habits. Ever since he was a teen he had a bit of a smoking problem, cigarettes and weed, and some drinking. But Eddie knew it only grew worse with time. Richie explained how he had actually been pretty clean until Mike called him, then he relapsed. Eddie knew that after the fight, after Richie got stuck in the fucking deadlights, he had been suffering from night terrors, which prompted his insomnia, which made more time for him to drink and smoke. 

 It's been a year now

Think I've figured out how

How to let you go and let communication die out

Sadly he hasn’t talked to Richie in a year, since the incident, since he left the hospital. He lived without Richie for so long, it should’ve been easy to forget about him again. But now he had old memories that weren’t there before, ones of a childhood he forgot he lived through. It’s been a year now, and Eddie has finally pushed down all of the feelings for his childhood crush. He was letting Richie go, finally able to let the communication die out. 

Eddie had been in the hospital for over a month and Richie was the only one who stayed, Bev had to go file a divorce, Ben had architect stuff to architect, Bill had a movie to finish and a wife to apologize to,  Mike had a world to see, and Stan had a vacation to take with his wife. As much as they all wanted to stay, the only reason they didn’t was that they knew Eddie was safe in Richie’s care. 

The day before Eddie officially woke up, he had been in and out of consciousness and he could hear bits and pieces of conversations, hell, sometimes he even saw flashes of the room around him. But there was one conversation that stuck out to him, the one he remembered the most. 

Richie was by his side, the only one in the room, voice low. Although he couldn’t see Richie, he could tell that he’d been crying. Richie started out by talking about some of his favourite memories with him from their childhood, from before they left Derry. The hot days at the quarry, their cuddles in the hammock, the nights Richie had nightmares (yes he had them even as a kid so that makes these current nightmares so much worse, cause he had to handle them alone) and would sneak into Eddie’s room during the late hours of the night. Those were the nights that they’d talk until Richie’s mind was at ease, about nothing yet everything all at the same time. If Richie felt better he’d head home, but most nights they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms. Richie’s mind filled with worries about falling into the same nightmare again so Eddie would hold him close to make sure Richie felt safe as sleep took him away.  

Then Richie continued to talk about how close he and Eddie had been, and how even when he moved away, and forgot, he always knew he’d been missing something. He explained how that night at the Jade of the Orient, he finally felt whole again. Eddie blacked out for a little bit afterwards, he still kicks himself for that, even though he had no control over it. But he came back just in time to hear the end of Richie’s speech. 

“Eds… I know we argue, I call you out and annoy the ever-living shit out of you, but those are the conversations I live for. You know every joke I make is just me trying to get you to laugh, right? I knew how hard it was at home for you, so I always wanted to give you the chuckles that you never got at home” Richie stopped for a moment. He let out a little chuckle himself, “That last year we had together was the best year of my fucking life. Because it was you and me against the world. A-And the day you left… Eddie I kick myself every day for not saying it back. Because I love you, so fucking much” he took a moment to collect himself. “It’s funny to think that I never realized it sooner, all of the early mornings and late nights, scalding summer days and afternoons in the  freezing winter. I loved you since the day you squished your small, cute, ass in that hammock with me. I’ve loved you since the day you skipped school to take care of me when I threw up. Fuck…. Eddie I’ve loved you since fifth grade when you gave me that stupid valentine card with the cat cause you knew I never got any. I never stopped loving you-” Eddie drifted off, unable to hear the rest of the confession. Though he couldn’t hear him, he did feel a hand lay over his, and his fingers laced together with another’s. Then he felt Richie plant an ever so soft kiss on his forehead. 

 I never told Richie that I’d overheard him, how could I? How could I just randomly admit to him that when we were cuddled up in that hammock, I felt more at home than I have in my entire life? How I suddenly felt safe when his arms wrapped around me. How my heart skipped a beat every time our skin accidentally touched. And how I secretly adored every damn stupid nickname you called me because they were something that only you and I shared. They were mine, and I was yours. How can I admit that that year, was a year I cherished until the day I forgot it, because of that fucking clown. 

After all of his memories returned to him after the incident, Eddie recalled a day he swore he could never forget, the day before he left for college. He was going to some out of state college to escape his mother, who’s grip had only gotten worse over the years. 

Richie and Eddie had started dating about a year prior. After years of silent pinning and pent up emotions, Richie finally burst and admitted his feelings for him. That year, their final year of highschool, was one for the history books. The two were inseparable, determined to spend every living second together before Eddie had to leave for college. And they did, for the most part. 

Almost every night Richie would sneak into Eddie’s room and the two would kiss and make out, then snuggle the rest of the night away. At school they always found time for each other, in between classes, secretly meeting in the bathroom, even discreetly holding hands under their desks. 

The one thing they never did was say ‘I Love you’. Both of them were subconsciously waiting until the time was right. Eddie thought the right time was the day he left for college. 

“What am I going to do without my Chee? Who’s gonna give me stupid nicknames and crawl through my window now?” Eddie hugged Richie tightly. 

“You’ll find someone, I know you will” Richie brushed the comment aside. It’s something he’d been doing for the past week or so. Whenever Eddie mentioned the future, him coming back for Christmas or Richie coming up to visit him, Richie always brushed it under the rug, never in the mood to talk about it. Eddie always assumed it was because he wanted to live in the moment and not worry about the future, but even then, he seemed distant. 

A voice rang overhead, announcing that Eddie’s flight was now boarding. 

Here goes nothing

He looked up at Richie, who’s eyes seemed sad and dark. “Richie, I want you to know that I will always love you” Eddie’s voice was quiet, almost vulnerable. 

Richie pulled away and hesitated before saying “E-Eddie, I-I don’t know if I can do this whole long distance thing. You’re so, so good, and you deserve someone who can be there for you-”.

Eddie was taken aback, suddenly disgusted by how he thought Richie would ever love him back, “Rich, what are you talking about? Just last week you said you were okay with his”.

“Yeah? Well that was last week, and this is now. I just don’t wanna hold you back from meeting new- and better people when you’re away” Richie quickly hugged Eddie, not wanting to continue the conversation as he knew the tears it’d bring. “I’m sorry” He whispered as he gave Eddie one finally look, then left. 

It was the day that changed everything for Eddie. The day he wished he could forget since it clouded his vision, kept him up at night, and distracted him from almost everything. One day he did forget it, but it all came back the day he saw Richie Tozier at the Jade of the Orient. 

Neither of them had brought up the breakup, neither did any of the other Losers. They were all aware that it was a sensitive topic and opted to keep the mood light while reliving their childhood memories. The mood wasn't worried between Richie and Eddie, but it wasn't the same either. It was as if things had gone back to when they were just friends, the constant banter and bickering.

 I know, you know, we know

You weren't down for forever and it's fine

I know, you know, we know

We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

After Eddie was released from the hospital, he had gotten on his first flight to New York and returned to Myra. He’d convinced himself that everything he heard during his coma was a dream. After so many years of internalized homophobia, it was hard to stop now. 

He’d thanked Richie for everything and insisted he was okay. He made sure Richie would head back to LA and continue his job, but he also made him promise to start writing his own material. He told Richie it’d finally convince him to go to one of his shows. Sadly he still had yet to purchase a ticket or even watch his shows on Netflix. Now, every time he saw famous comedian Richie Tozier, he could only remember the boy he’d once give the world for, the boy who didn’t love him back.

But if the world was ending

 You'd come over, right?

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight

And there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

Even though he forgot, Eddie always knew something was off. No matter who he was with, it never felt right. That’s because Richie Tozier had taken a piece of his heart the day he never said it back. Then the day Eddie left the hospital, he’d left an even bigger piece with the boy he still loved. 

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

His phone beeped, indicating that he'd received a text. 

Ben: Hey Eddie, just wanted to check in and make sure you're safe, heard about the earthquake. Bev says hi! 

It was from Ben. Eddie noticed his phone was back on data, so that text was followed by a million texts and calls from Myra. He clicked on the contact and clicked the call button. 

“Hey, Eddie!” Ben's voice sounded relieved, “How's a going, is everything okay?”. 

“Hey, yeah… I'm okay” Eddie hesitated, “Just shaken” he breathed. If he were talking to anyone else he would've just said he was okay, but Ben was a Loser, and Losers never lied. 

“Good I'm glad to he-” Ben was suddenly cut off by the sound of his wife's voice from beside him. 

“Ask if he's heard from Richie!” Bev's voice got louder as she spoke, most likely approaching from another room. 

“R-Richie? Why would I have heard from him?” Eddie tensed up, caught off guard. 

He was met with the sounds of muffled talking and someone grabbing the phone, “Hey Eddie, sorry- I was just wondering cause well, Richie was in his New York apartment for the week and we texted him to see if he was okay but he didn’t answer-” Bev explained. 

“Wait- Richie’s in New York? Really?” Eddie tried to hide the excitement in his voice but failed. 

“Y-Yeah, didn’t he tell you?” She sounded confused. 

The truth was, as much as Eddie wanted to, he never asked Richie for his number when they reunited. Neither did Richie. 

Eddie spoke before he could think through his words, “What’s his address?”, even he was shocked at the question. 

“Here, I’ll text it to you. Why- Eddie what are you scheming?” He could hear the smirk in her voice, as if she knew what he was going to do before he did it. 

“Nothing, nothing… I just wanna check in on our resident trashmouth and make sure he hasen’t fucking OD’d on Capri Sun or some shit” Eddie scoffed as the two on the other end laughed. 

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Right?

After their call ended, Eddie opened google maps and typed in Richie’s address. 

~

I tried to imagine

Your reaction

It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened

 Famous comedian Richie Tozier was indeed drinking Capri Sun, though he hadn't reached the point of overdosing, he could tell his taste buds were in the midst of destruction, as he’d just finished his fourth Capri Sun. Which is about 3 more than he should’ve had. 

Richie only noticed the ground shaking after it had happened. He knew that if you were inside during an earthquake you were supposed to get outside as soon as possible, but it was so quick, should I go? He thought before sitting up from his couch and shuffled towards the door. 

He glanced out into the hallway of his apartment floor and noticed some of his neighbours doing the same. He gave them a nod before one of the managers came through the door that led to the stairs. He advised everyone to stay inside as it was only a minor earthquake and there was no reason to leave. 

Instead of reclaiming the spot on his couch, Richie went and took a seat on his balcony. This is something that he’s been doing more as the weather got warmer. He had put a chair out there, so when he got comfortable he propped his feet up on the railing and took in the skyline. 

He couldn’t help but think what his hypochondriac, asthmatic, piece of pasta, was up to right now. 

That idiot is probably losing his shit over the earthquake. 

Richie chuckled to himself as he recalled how he was always prepared for something like this. Even in his younger years, his fanny pack was always equipped with the supplies to handle anything, from scraped knees, to runny noses. It was one of the many things he loved about Eddie… Yes, love. 

The thought prompted Richie to run his hand over his face. He then removed his glasses and pressed the palms of his hands onto his closed eyes. His eyes started to tear up as he re-lived an old memory he once forgot.

But it really got me thinkin'

That night we went drinkin'

Stumbled in the house

And didn't make it past the kitchen

They’d been dating for just over a month now. Things were still exciting, still new. Something neither of them had experienced before. To say that they tried to spend every moment together was an understatement. Because once their feelings were out in the open, they hadn't been able to get off of eachother. They were always touching in one way or another. Whether it was holding hands, Richie having his arm draped over Eddie or Eddie having his arm around Richie’s waist. 

It was one of the rare occasions where Sonia Kaspbrak had left town for the weekend, out to go visit family, and she hadn't taken Eddie with her, like usual. So Richie and Eddie had the Kaspbrak residence all to themselves. Sure they spent the first half of the night drinking cheap beer with the other Losers at the Quarry, but after they got home they had their most memorable make out sessions to date. 

They’d just entered the house and Richie had already picked up Eddie. Their kisses become more intense as the space between their bodies vanished. The smaller boy wrapped his arms around the taller's neck and his legs around his waist, hugging him like a koala. The curly haired teen had his hands positioned on the other’s ass, he gave it a little squeeze before he set him down on the kitchen counter. 

Once Eddie’s butt had gone numb, Richie’s legs got tired, and both their lips grew raw, Eddie hopped off the counter and grabbed Richie’s hand. He pulled his smitten boyfriend up the stairs and to his room. That’s where they continued their heated make out session, except it wasn't ass intense. Their kisses were still passionate, but almost tired, it was late after all.

Richie pulled his shirt over his head, Eddie began kissing his neck, his chest, anywhere he could reach. Richie had snaked his right hand up Eddie’s shirt, so it pressed up against Eddie’s back, the touch sent shivers down Eddie’s spine. 

“May I?” Richie requested, which was something he did a lot when they were in bed together. He always asked before he did things. Sure they were both inexperienced horny teens, but Richie always wanted to make sure that Eddie was comfortable with anything they did. 

“Do it- Rich I’m all yours” Eddie said in between kisses. He felt Richie grabbed a handful of his shirt, that’s when he reluctantly sat up. Which allowed Richie to gracefully pull the shirt up and over Eddie’s head. Their chests were pressed together, skin on skin. It sent fireworks exploding in both of their chests. 

The kisses soon grew lazy, and they both opted to lay in eachothers arms. Cuddled as close together as humanly possible. Their pants had come off, leaving the teens in their boxers. So their bare legs were tangled together as Eddie’s head laid against Richie’s chest, he hummed happily to the sound of Richie’s speedy heartbeat. Richie’s head sat comfortably on top of Eddie’s, one of his hands laced together with his boyfriend’s while the other was carefully brushing out Eddie’s soft brown curls.

Neither of them wanted to be anywhere else. If they could’ve lived in that moment forever, they would have.

 Ah, it's been a year now

Think I've figured out how

How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

 Up until the day Richie’s memories were taken without his permission, about a year after he left Derry to try the whole ‘comedian’ thing, he had regretted not saying it back to Eddie. He doesn't know what came over him on the day the love of his life left. It was just something about not being able to see him everyday, not being able to hold his hand when he got nervous or climb through his window when he had a nightmare, that scared him. He worried that without that physical touch, he wouldn’t be able to hold onto the Eddie he once was. Practically convincing himself that once Eddie found someone he could actually be with, he’d dump Richie. 

So the Trashmouth decided to end things before he could get his heart broken. Little did he know that his heart would still beat for Eddie Kaspbrak up until the day that that name held no meaning to him anymore.

When he saw Eddie again, after 27 years, it was as if nothing had changed. The subtle glances, the twist of his stomach when his hand brushed against Eddie’s, the way he couldn’t think about anything else, and the way his heart ached for a love that they once shared. 

Richie, worried about messing things up again, he waited for Eddie to make the first move. Unsure if they were anything more than friends, Richie kept it that way, just friends. Eddie never did bring anything up. Not at the Jade of the Orient, not when he almost died, and not when he left the hospital. Sure it felt like he ripped Richie’s heart out of his chest, tore it in half, then shoved it back in, but he knew it was for the best. Afterall, Eddie had moved on, married a woman, and started a life without him. It killed him to see, but it wasn't his place to go and ruin what Eddie had worked so hard to build. 

It’s been a year now. A year since he’s seen Eddie. A year of staring at his phone, threatening to click the call button and finally hear his voice again, a year of writing texts that’d never be sent, a year of going between LA and New York in hopes of randomly bumping into Eddie at some coffee shop. But it’s been a year, and Richie is finally able to think about Eddie without it feeling like his heart is being ripped out of his chest. It’s progress. 

 But if the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

A doorbell ripped Richie from the memory he was reliving. Suddenly aware of the tears on his cheeks and his shaking hands. Fuck, he mentally cursed. He checked his reflection in the camera of his phone. Who the hell is at my door at, he checked the time, 6:00 pm, what the fuck?. He gave his eyes one more wip before he reached for the doorknob, he didn’t care if the mailman saw him with red puffy eyes and wet cheeks, Bob had seen him in the worst conditions. 

His heart momentarily stopped at the familiar sight of Eddie James Kaspbrak who stood in the hallway of his apartment building. Suddenly the phrase, A sight for sore eyes, became so clear to him, because his sore eyes suddenly became soft at the sight of the boy who once brought him so much joy.

“Eddie…” Richie breathed, his mind unable to properly phrase sentences. 

“Richie, a-are you okay?” Eddie’s voice was laced with concern, worried that he’d just walked in on something. 

Richie had done something he grew too comfortable with, “Me? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, never not fine, am I right?” He joked. 

Eddie’s brow scrunched ever so slightly, unaware of what to do. “Right… Sorry to show up out of the blue. Just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay, you know with the whole earthquake and all” He changed his tone, to sound more comforting.

“Oh…” Something broke inside of Richie. Of course he was only here because of the fucking earthquake. It’s not like he has any other reason to come see the boy who fucking left him at the airport- “I’m A okay, thanks for checking in Eds” Richie assured with a wink. He made sure his voice sounded extra chipper, afraid that he’d somehow allow Eddie to see how close he was to breaking. 

Eddie huffed, almost as if he was amused, “Don’t call me that” he shook his head jokingly. Of course there was more he wanted to say, 27 years of thoughts and emotions that’d went unsaid, but he kept it that way. “Well you seem to be doing fine, so I guess I’ll leave you be- see you around Trashmouth”.

The nickname sent memories flashing through both of their minds, the arguments they had at school when they threw that nickname at him, Beeping Richie whenever his motormouth wouldn’t slow down. Maybe under different circumstances, they would’ve shared a laugh. Talked about the good old days over a coffee on Richie’s balcony and maybe even open up the Pandora's box that was their relationship. Instead, Eddie gave Richie a small wave, and turned to make his way towards the elevator. 

Eddie let out a breath he didn���t know he was holding it, suddenly tense with regret. There was so much more he wanted to say, but it was too late. 

Richie closed the door and leaned his forehead against the cool wood. I can’t believe I fucked this up again. Just like always. Leave it up to good ol’ trashmouth to ruin the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him.... Suddenly Eddie’s words rang out through his head, so loud and earth shattering it almost caused his eyes to tear up again. I Love You. 

“I Love you too Eddie…” Richie said to himself. Then it dawned on him. “I love you” he repeated. 

His hand reached out the door handle and he hastily opened the door to his apartment. He took a step out of his apartment and saw Eddie waiting for the elevator. Richie wasted no time, he was 27 years late after all. 

“I love you” He shouted to the man down the hall from him. 

Eddie’s eyes looked up to meet Richie’s, big and tear filled, with a sliver of hope inside of his iriss. 

Richie talked as he ran to him. “I love you. Edward fucking Kaspbrak. And I’ve kicked myself every goodman day of my life for not saying it back to you because I, love you”. Now he was in front of Eddie, spilling his heart out, “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I always knew I loved you, since the day you kissed my scraped knee in fourth grade. It just took me 27 fucking years to relaize I can’t live without you… My little piece of spaghetti'' The last line got a huff from Eddie. 

“Really know how to ruin a moment, don’t you Rich?” He asked, but his voice held no anger, only pure and utter joy. 

Richie disregarded the comment and continued, “I know you’re married and I am 27 years late, but fuck, I had to tell you before I fucking imploded. Because I love you.” 

Eddie stood there for a moment, as if he was soon going to be woken up from this dream. Then he finally mustered the power to speak, “I love you too Richie”. Eddie couldn’t help himself, he’d been waiting 27 years. He took a couple steps, closing the distance between the two, he placed his hand on the back of Richie’s neck, pulled him down and kissed him. 

Richie hesitated for a split second before returning the kiss. Then it was just like they were kids again, fireworks exploded through their bodies as their hearts began to beat together.

You'd come over and you'd stay the night

Would you love me for the hell of it?

All our fears would be irrelevant

“I love you” Richie couldn’t stop saying it, as if he was trying to make up for all the time he hadn't been saying it. He said it when they pulled away from their kiss, when he led Eddie back into his apartment, and plenty of times while they made out on Richie’s bed. 

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

The sky'd be falling while I'd hold you tight

No, there wouldn't be a reason why

We would even have to say goodbye

It was midnight, only then did they begin to calm down off of the high they’d been riding. As if the years of crushing and pinning had built up, and finally they’d been able to get what they craved. 

Richie laid on his back, with Eddie’s head resting on his chest, with one hand over Richie’s heart while the other was laced together with the other’s. 

“I love you” he repeated again, meaning every word he said. 

“I love you too” Eddie said. His heart beat in his chest, his entire heart. No missing or lost pieces, because he’d found Richie again, and all of the pieces were finally put back into place. 

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

“I don’t care what happens now” Eddie said, he looked up to meet Richie’s gaze. “The marriage can be dealt with. Hell, I don’t even care where we end up, here, LA, anywhere, as long as I’m with you” For the first time in a long time, Eddie felt hope. He was excited for what the future held, because he wasn't alone anymore. 

You'd come over, right?

You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

“We’ll make it work” Richie kissed Eddie’s forehead, “We always do”.

If the world was ending

You'd come over, right?

Word Count: 5350

I hope you guys enjoyed the one shot! I had a lot of fun writing it.

If you've got any songs you want me to turn into a one shot then comment down below!

Until next time

So Long and Goodnight

[Taglist]

@richietoaster @s-onora @that-weird-girl-blog @beproudtozier

[neo-culture-mafia]

NCT 127 (+Lucas) Reaction: S/O Gaining Feelings After an Arranged Marriage

Hello people!! This took…some time lol. I was working on this during finals and I just wanna apologize to @ilook-soperfectstandinghere14 AGAIN for not getting this up earlier. Please leave feedback…cause I suck at fluff…but I tried (not all are fluff btw) so…yeah…alright bye.

Also…Winwin is in this. Until SM puts out an official statement saying WInwin is NOT in NCT 127…you’re gonna deal with my ass being an OT10 stan…just saying. If you wanna fight me on it…just remember the block button is easier to press than you think ;). 

~J

LEE TAEYONG:

He wanted to rule by himself…not have a ‘queen’ as his parents called you. He had told you the night of the wedding that you have your room and he has his room and not to cross each other’s lines and boundaries. You were completely fine with that and respected that…but then your emotions got ahold of you and your heart was yearning for someone’s affection. You wanted Taeyong but you knew that you and he would never mix. It was like hell trying to not go up and talk to him and start something…anything. 

At dinner was the worst though. You would eat alone at the super long dining room table meant to fill 40 more people…and you sat by yourself with the only thing to keep you company – your mind. 

You would sit and eat and sit…and eat with no show of Taeyong. He would take his food in his office just so he didn’t have to sit with you. It hurt a little, but you’ve grown used to it now. 

Tonight was different though…it was eerie and more silent than usual. The silence was deafening. Just to hear something, you ‘accidentally’ clanked your fork against your plate. 

The ring calmed your heart but still made you on edge. Then as if on cue – lights go out. In a matter of seconds, you were out of your seat and bustling around in the dark; your fear making you move quickly. 

Down the hall, the 8th door on the left: Taeyong’s office. Yet you would never know that you never actually made it out of the dining room. You were going around in circles. 

You could hear screams and shots coming from the kitchen. Your breathing became ragged and everything was running on adrenaline. Your mouth and chest were paralyzed with fear and the want of surviving the night…but you weren’t sure. For all you knew–it was every man for himself. You were screwed. 

But you were pulled against someone. You started thrashing and fighting but the person put your head in their chest and you knew it was Taeyong. You couldn’t help but let some tears seep onto his t-shirt as he quietly and efficiently pulled you from the room. Screams for help still echoed and you squeezed your eyes shut and put your hands over your ears. 

Taeyong brought you to the garage where he threw you in the backseat and got in the front. He hit the gas and got the hell out of there. Some cars chased you guys for a little bit, but he made sure to cover his trails correctly. 

You still sat in the back in a position that made you look vulnerable and weak. The screams of the workers were still in your mind as he twisted and turned on never ending roads. 

You felt a calloused yet welcoming and warm hand sit on your leg. You looked up to see Taeyong. He would look at you from his rearview mirror and switch from you to the roads. 

“Are you okay?” He asked and you could only shrug. “I wouldn’t have let anything happen to you…” He said and you both made eye contact through the mirror. 

“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself afterward.” 

MOON TAEIL 

You and he had been trying to make this go as smoothly as possible. You would be with each other for a while…so why hate each other during that time? 

You both respected each other and learned to live civilly. Both of you were basically the bestest friends now. So you both had been on dates and you were quickly going mad for him…and he was going mad for you too. The way he was never afraid to smile and be so loving. He walked in and immediately made it feel warm and shiny.

It had been thundering and usually, you wouldn’t care…it was a thunderstorm – big whoop. Yet, the power shut off…and so did the heat. It was already 11 the last time you checked and the room became dark and clustered. Your mind made images out of things that weren’t there in the first place. It was nerve-racking and stressful for it being so late at night. 

You tried closing your eyes and drifting into dreamland but nothing was happening. The covers still weren’t providing warmth so you turned for your hoodie and it still changed nothing. You became grumpy and sleepy but most importantly…COLD. “This is so annoying.” You groaned and stood up, throwing your slippers on. 

It felt like it had been 5 minutes, but you would later find out it had been a whole hour of you shivering in the cold. You were already throwing in the towel and was going to find somewhere else to sleep: under the rug, in the curtains, in the coat closet…somewhere.

You made it right out your door and was in front of Taeil’s. You were still highly considering the coat closet. Yet, your hand came up to knock the hard wood. Your heart began to race as you heard some groans and shuffling towards the door.  Your heart completely stopped when the door opened to a tired Taeil that was in a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

“Yeah?” He asked and you couldn’t form words correctly. How was he so handsome this early in the morning?! What magic was this?!

“Uh…the uh- power-” “Why is it so cold?” He yawned and stretched. “Well the uh-” “Come on I’m tired and cold. You look warm.” He said grabbing you and pulling you into his room.

You had no time to protest or even think before he picked you up and threw you on his bed. He literally rolled over you and put all the sheets on both of you. “o-okay.” You mumbled as he wrapped his arms around you and leveled his breathing out. 

“…it was cold…” He mumbled and you chuckled for a moment. “Yeah…” you agreed while nodding. He brought you even closer if that was even possible. “But it’s warmer since you’re here.” he said and your heart started beating rapidly. He didn’t want you to know that his heart was going even faster though. 

You yawned and rubbed your eye. “Go to sleep…we can make breakfast later…” he reasoned and you nodded. You did something risky and put your head on his chest. He prayed to a higher being that you couldn’t hear his fast-paced heart. 

He sat there for the next half hour just looking at you and falling more in love with you than you could ever fall in love with him…and he never wanted this feeling to end.

SEO JOHNNY

You both were slow but becoming very close. You guys know that you both could never truly love each other knowing all of it was forced…but your heart didn’t know that. You were slowly going insane over it too.

Both of you were out and hanging around with each other and just at the local cafe. It was an ambient place and you were hoping you could talk to him about how you’ve been feeling lately. Yet you already knew he didn’t feel the same. From the way he looked at other girls to the way he looked at you: you were positive it was never meant t be. But being forced into marriage by your parents after the company went under – you just hoped that there would be at least a little spark. A little something that made you hope you wouldn’t live the rest of your life as a side piece.

You both sat there, talking about domestic things. Sipping your coffee, you wish it would drown the feelings in your mind and chest…but to no avail you still sat there – the thoughts drowning you.

“Hey, Johnny?” You asked and he looked to you, pushing his glasses up. “Yeah y/n?” He asked checking his phone but you still carried on. “I have had something to get off my chest.” You sighed and put your almost empty cup down again.

“I think I really li-” “Wait…before you carry on.” He said interrupting your confession. He looked to the cashier station where a girl was counting single dollars.

“Do you think you could go give her my number?” He asked as he looked to you with desperate eyes. “Uh…huh?” You shook your head to try and wake yourself up and hear better. “Like…go give her my number and tell her to call me?” He said looking like a child who wanted a new toy.

He was asking his legal wife…to go and help him get a date??

Your heart felt as if it shriveled up and was thrown into the pit of your stomach. “Oh…yeah…sure.” You said and he slipped you a napkin. He kicked your foot to get you to hurry up. You took your phone and purse, walking over to the cashier.

She looked up at the last minute and smiled. “Can I help you?” She asked and you put the napkin down. “My friend over there wanted to give you his number.” You said bitterly yet with a plastered on a smile.

You wanted the smile to squint your eyes to hide the hurt and welling tears. “Really?” She jumped a little and you nodded, sliding her the napkin.

“I wish you luck.” You said and turned around towards the door. “Oh…y/n?” You heard Johnny call but you kept walking as you blocked out his perfect stupid voice. You walked out and down the street in the opposite direction as the tears traveled down your face.

It was the undelivered truth that you truly loved him…but it didn’t have to be delivered that he did not love you back.

NAKAMOTO YUTA

He just didn’t want the rest of the life hating someone…so he liked you…eventually. 

It definitely took him getting used to having someone sit across from him every morning. Naturally, he wasn’t a morning person…but you were. He never wondered why someone was so happy for sleep to come to an end. Sleep was beautiful…and you loved being out of it. 

He woke up and walked out of his bedroom. He walked past yours and saw you were already out of the messy bed. He sighed and realized he would have to meet your happiness sometime today…eventually. 

He walked into you making breakfast for the both of you. “Look who’s up early…again.” He mumbled the last part. “Yep! I’m making eggs and sausage.” You smiled and rolled the sausage. “…fun…” he said as he grabbed an apple and sat down at a high sitting chair next to the counter. He looked over your work as he munched on the apple. 

His nice black t-shirt contrasted against his messed up bed-head. You hummed a tune and he wanted to vomit at your cheery side. “Why are you so happy every morning?” He asked and you smiled a little more as you grabbed plates. “Because everything is waking up.” You said and he just cocked an eyebrow. 

“And it’s time to make new memories. New day…new experiences to experience.” You hummed as you plated his food. He just looked onto you, your movements and actions becoming calming for him to observe. “And besides…you never know how long you have left. Live every moment like the last.” You offered the plate to him. He grabbed it with one hand. “Time is meaningless.” He said as he took the plate to his seat. You sighed and sat down across from him with your own food. 

The smile now faded and the want to just get through the day set in. Yuta noticed the silence and became hesitant. “You…being happy all the time…makes me happy…” He said and you couldn’t hide the little smile. 

“I’m happy you’re happy…and it puts me in a better mood.” He rolled his eyes at his confession and you smiled more. “Thank you, Yuta.” You said and took a bite of your eggs. 

He smiled a little and saw his outlook on the day rise when he saw your shy smile. It was warming and comforting. His heart twinged and he could feel a spark in his cheeks…maybe waking up to your smile every morning wouldn’t be as bad as he first thought. 

KIM DOYOUNG

He didn’t want to have to deal with another person’s affection. He didn’t want to care for another person’s life when he couldn’t take care of his own sometimes. It was all a hassle. But you didn’t see it like that. 

You loved looking out for him and making sure he was comfortable and had anything he wanted. It was a hard journey for your heart to go through the couple weeks after the wedding. More nights he would spend in his office and not in the house that was supposed to feel like a home. 

You guys would do things that a normal ‘couple’ would do…just without the affection…and love. 

Both of you guys were out for drinks at the local bar. He had been stressed at work lately and just wanted him to open up to you about it. He didn’t like opening up to people, but for some reason, he found it easier with you. He swigged down the dark liquid and asked for a refill. “But the deadline is coming up and I just don’t think Taeyong is appreciating how hard I have been working.” He said and you nodded, laying a comforting hand on his forearm. “Well, then I think you should tell him to lay off a little and tell him you understand why he’s getting frustrated. But also, you’re the only person doing the work he needs done.” You said and the look in his eyes looked a little happier than when you guys first walked in. 

“Thanks, y/n.” He pinched your cheek lightly. “No problem.” You smiled and finally retracted your hand from his arm. 

“Wanna go walk around for a little bit before going back to the house?” He asked and you certainly obliged to the thought of a nice walk. He paid for both of your guys’ drinks and you guys walked out into the street. You guys began walking towards the park at the end of the road. 

Yet the little things he did made your heart swell…and the free air clogged up your throat as you walked. 

You were walking close to the curb, but you almost choked when you felt his hand on your lower back. He guided you into the middle of the sidewalk so he was where you once stood. “All the idiot drivers are out right now.” He excused his actions and you nodded; understanding his reasoning and purpose. 

You both continued walking and making the journey towards the park. The walk lead you guys past some crappy and shady bars though. The type of bars that had the stereotypical thugs sitting outside and whistling at anything with 2 legs. 

You had passed a couple already and the comments were just getting worse as the sun continued to go down. The familiar smell of weed hit your nostrils and knew another bar was coming up. “Here. It’s getting cold.” He said stopping for a moment and slipping his jacket off. He just laid it across your shoulders so it covered your upper body. Your face heated up as the smell of weed was replaced with his cologne. 

You guys walked past the bar, and the comments were the worst of the night. You felt Doyoung’s arm slip around your back and onto your waist. His strong pull carried you into his side. The look coming from Doyoung’s eyes could make demons cry…but it showed you he cared. 

He didn’t want people looking at something that was his…he hated to admit that…but you were his and no one else’s. 

(I’m such a hoe for this bunny boy I am so sorry)

JUNG JAEHYUN 

He was in paradise from the day since the wedding. He always wanted to be a husband and then a father…and half of his dream was already accomplished. You were all for being a wife and carrying the usual duties. 

You both fell for each other at least 3 days after the ceremony. He loved doing such domestic things such as: cooking you breakfast, having lazy days and watching Disney movies in bed till 1 pm, baking with you, helping you cook dinner after a long day of training, go out for late night strolls and overall being affectionate with one person.

He realized at the same time that you did that this was forever. So why not put all of his affection into you? You wouldn’t be going away any time soon; you returned his affection. 

He was the stereotypical dream husband and you were in love. Would make your coffee, attempt to do your hair, giggle with you during late night conversations, stare at you and when asked why he would give the excuse of you being too beautiful. 

It was early in the morning and it had been a long night of waiting up for him. He had been on a mission and you were prepared with food and a drink upon his return. 2 am hit and he trudged in with a long and exasperated sigh. You pointed at him from your spot on the couch. “Don’t get blood on my carpet!” You said and he chuckled. “Yes Dear~~” He sang as he sat down on the bench and release hit feet from the combat boots he wore regularly (regular huh). You went over as he popped his back and you cringed at the sound. “Ouch.” You said and he chuckled, grabbing you and pulling you in front of him. “Tell me about it.” He said and just rested his head on your stomach. 

Your hands ran through his hair and over the stress lines on his forehead. “You tired?” You asked and he nodded. His arms came up and held onto your body – his usual spot to hold you while sleeping. 

“Why don’t you go take a shower, eat, and then we can go to sleep and I can rub your back.” You offered and he nodded tiredly. He sighed as he stood up and towered over you (this man is a whole ass 6′0″ PROBABLY closer to 6′1″…he a tree). “Also throw your clothes out before hopping in so I can throw them in the washing machine.” You called as you walked to the kitchen to heat up his food. “Yes, honey ~~” He called and the door shut as your heart raced a little faster. 

~~~~~~~~

You guys just laid there and listened to each other’s breathing. Your hand ran over his back; rubbing at knots littering around his toned back. “You’re so warm.” You called feeling his forehead. “No. You’re just too cold.” He said and brought you into a bear-like embrace. 

“Now shush. Go to sleep.” He said as he released his grip only a little bit. “…and thank you for dinner…it was amazing…”

DONG SICHENG (WINWIN)

He liked to be controlling everything in his branch. He was open to the idea of marriage but was always afraid to lose his other half; to his work, to emotions…to falling out of love with him. 

So when you two wed each other, it was okay in the beginning. He never thought you would stick by him for as long as you have. You thought he was charming and wondered why he wasn’t loved by everyone. He was so loveable and so well put together to not love him. His mannerisms, sense of humor, charm, and his protectiveness…he was perfect to you. But you also understood why he distanced himself from you. 

He had left on a business trip for 3 weeks. Building up to his departure, he tried getting closer to you and tried showing his love for you…but it wasn’t working out the way he wanted it to. He was almost for certain that as soon as he left, you would run away from this place and never look back; for he was a monster in his mind and undeserving of love. 

Yet you sat there, counting down the days to his return. Yeah – it was really lonely in his house all alone, but you utilized the time to learn some things. You baked – ALOT. You drew a while. You read a lot of books. You watched movies. You made new food creations to show him when he got back. You cleaned and made the house spotless. It was all perfect for his return where you assumed he would want to unwind and relax. 

You decided what you wanted to make for his first night back home, and decided on some comfort food. 

You were going to surprise him and pretend you weren’t home and then turn on the lights and tackle him into a hug. It was going to be amazing…but you obviously didn’t know he thought you were going to be gone in the first place. 

You had begun getting ready; cooking the food, cleaning up some loose things, getting some beverages ready, and then you heard him buzz into the gate. You shut off all the lights and hid behind the couch next to the front door. 

You were all giddy from excitement as soon as he walked in. You saw how the moonlight streamed in behind him. He looked hopeful when he first walked in…but he just nodded to himself and looked a little sad as he just tossed his keys messily into the key bowl. 

You then turned on the lights and jumped over the couch. “Welcome home!” You yelled and hopped into his arms. He was taken aback for sure. He was shocked and his heart jumped, realizing you had waited for him all this time. 

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and he automatically held onto you like you were a plushie. He couldn’t help his eyes getting a little wet. You were still here…and you were happy to see him…and he was happy that you were still here and showed you still cared for him. You chuckled a little. “Welcome home.” You said a little quieter so it was a little more intimate moment between both of you. 

He felt a peck on his cheek and just held you tighter. “Happy to be back.” He whispered back and he wanted to stay in this moment forever. “Oooo! I cooked dinner! It’s going to be cold if we don’t hurry up!” You shimmied out of his grip. He slipped off his shoes and took off his heavy jacket; as you dragged him into to kitchen filled to the brim with some of his favorite foods, he couldn’t help the smile staying on his face.

He smiled as you looked at his reaction. “Does it look good?” You asked in anticipation and he nodded. “Looks perfect.”

KIM JUNGWOO

Because of his position…he was just unable to love anyone. He had become severely detached from this cookie-cutter ideality of ‘love’. He wanted love…but was just unable to feel it. He could feel ‘it’ during work…but not emotionally…it was never truly love. 

He knew you were in love and he could do nothing about it. All he could do was sit back and watch as you realized this was never going to work out. It was painful for not only you but him. 

He didn’t want to leave you in the dark…but it’s all he could do. He doesn’t blame you at all … but himself for getting you into this mess when you didn’t deserve it. No one deserved it. 

You and him sat next to each other at a movie. You were hoping you could do something during the movie to elicit a spark of emotion out of him (not like that)…but to no avail…you were left high and dry. 

The movie had been droning on for what seemed like forever and it was getting boring and repetitive now. You fake yawned and leaned your head on his shoulder. You cuddled in closer…and you could feel his breath become quicker. You were now happy…knowing that this could work out if he just let it happen…

But as he looked down at you, he felt pity. He wasn’t in love…he was uncomfortable for you were smooshing his pocket knife into his ribs. One wrong cuddle and boom…trip to the infirmary. 

He couldn’t deny that you were adorable and an amazing person…but he just couldn’t ‘love’ you. So for the rest of the movie while you were lead on y your own fantasies and dreams of the unrequited love finally happening…he sat there hating himself and not knowing what to do anymore. 

It was a lost cause.

WONG YUKHEI (LUCAS)

He was a lover…not fighter. So yes, his ideal wasn’t to get married so young…but he was along for the ride of life. 

He was nervous but once meeting you, all his nervousness and fears perished like fine dust. You thought he was perfect for you and you were perfect for him. 

The ‘honeymoon’ was full of jokes and getting to know each other. But, as soon as you both returned home - it was all business. 

You both decided that instead of taking it slow, take it how every newlywed would. No separate bedrooms, be open with each other, etc. It wasn’t too fast in both of your opinions. It should be normal. 

It was in the middle of the day and you were currently catching up on the news. The door burst open and in came Lucas. “Oh…hi.” You said as you looked at your husband who just stood in the middle of the living room. He stayed silenced and just continued to stare at you. “You good?” You asked and he didn’t answer – continuing the uncomfortable stare. 

After another 30 seconds of silence, he broke the deafening quietness.

“I want a sandwich.” He said as he turned and walked into the kitchen. “…what?!…” You got up and walked after him. You just stood there and watched as your tree of a husband made himself a sandwich. “All the uncomfortable staring for a sandwich?” You asked and he shrugged. “Want one?” He asked and you could only shake your head. 

He cleaned up and sat down at the counter island. He motioned you over and set you down on his lap. “Eat.” He said holding up the sandwich. “No, I’m not hungry.” You laughed but he kept pushing it closer; making himself laugh. 

His arm was wrapped around your body to make sure you wouldn’t fall. “Come on, just one bite.” He smiled at your laughing figure. “No. I said I wasn’t hungry.” You laughed more. “Fine. But I’m still hungry.” He said dropping his sandwich on the plate. 

He grabbed both sides of your face and began laying small and cute kisses all over your giggling face. He loved you and you loved him and you both could never get enough. 

LEE MINHYUNG (MARK)

He didn’t want to get married. He thought it was unneeded and super stupid. He actually tried skipping his own wedding…until Taeyong found him hiding in the back of his car. 

Yet, he was dragged in and forced to do vows. He ended the ceremony with an ‘I do or whatever’ and a fist bumped. People were confused as they clapped and he exited the church before everyone else. 

It was a wild ride at first…but he got used to it. So used to having you that it was weird when he didn’t. You were in love with him…or at least the ‘him’ that everyone talked about. You did everything you could to make him comfortable so he didn’t have to do anything and could live the rest of his life comfortably. 

You cooked him a warm dinner every night and made sure his laundry was done and the bloodstains weren’t stains anymore and that he always had love and affection to have if he ever wanted it. 

But enough was enough. You were done giving him love when he couldn’t even acknowledge your existence sometimes. You printed out the right forms and were going to demand that Taeyong signs and declares the marriage no more. 

It was raining outside and you felt so alone as you walked the distance across the base. Hyuck saw you and asked what was going on. 

You gladly told him and he didn’t waste time in trying to find Mark; for how he really knew how Mark truly felt on your guys’ relationship. 

Hyuck had to deal with Mark gushing about you wearing his hoodie on accident; you getting scolded about you wearing his clothes - “I was just about to wear that! Why are you going into my clothes?! They’re my clothes for a reason!”. Hyuck still hasn’t lived down Mark talking about how good your cupcakes are; while he sits and critiques them to your face - “They’re hella dry. But I’ll just take the rest with me to work to get rid of them. I don’t think anyone will like them though. They don’t have enough icing.” Then hoarded them at work and yelled at anyone who came close to breathing next to them. Hyuck still doesn’t understand how someone can never get tired of talking about your sleeping habits; but he sits there with you and calls them annoying - “I hate when you cuddle me and curl into a ball…it’s so uncomfortable! I barely got sleep last night!”. 

But in reality, Mark wishes he sat there and told you how he truly feels. He loves everything you are and everything you do. 

He even sat there and cried because he thought he was going to lose you. The whole Junior Forces never saw Mark feel so guilty and scared at the same time. 

Hyuck ran as fast as he could to the training center. “M-mark. Y-y/n.” He breathed heavily, pointing outside the window to where he had just been. Mark was busy talking to Johnny and Jaehyun about a class when the younger rushed in. 

“What? Is she okay?” Mark asked, still sitting. “Going to Tae. Divorce papers…crying.” He choked out, trying to calm his wheezing. Mark dropped his phone, everyone ‘ooo’ing’ as they now saw his absolutely destroyed screen. “Where is she?” Mark asked as he ran down the steps. “1 block, right.” Haechan said as he sat down on the dirty ground – catching his breath. “Wow. I need to get in shape.”

Mark’s heart started racing as he saw your silhouette walking into the base headquarters. You never even looked back as he screamed your name. He pumped his legs even faster as the door closed behind you. 

He made it to the door, a panic attack ready to break down his body once again. “No no no no no.” he hummed as he pushed interns and trainees to get to Taeyong’s office and stop you before it’s too late. 

He turned the corner and saw you walk in. “Y/N!!!” He bellowed and you jumped. You looked at him and rolled your eyes, closing the door fully. 

He raced to the door and kicked it open; your body already sitting down and Taeyong shocked at the whole outburst. 

“No. We…we are NOT getting a d-divorce.” Mark clarified, running a hand through his hair that was matted to his forehead. “Mark.” You breathed and Taeyong still sat there shocked.

“No. Just please give me time to explain.” He said, some tears slipping down his face. His chest started heaving in and out. “Please.” He choked out, grabbing at the sides of his head. 

“Hey, calm down.” You said walking over and wrapping your arms around his waist. His hands shook like a bartenders glass and his chest was on fire. 

“Plea-…” He began. “Take him home y/n.” Taeyong called softly. You obliged and lead Mark out of the office and down the hall. You guided Mark all the way past the dorms and towards the apartments. 

His body still shook as tears streamed down his face. 

Once he was inside, the first thing to do was calm him down. You set him on the couch as his hands rubbed painfully over his jean-clad knees. You went to his closet and pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants. 

You gave it to him and went to the kitchen to make him something to calm down; returning to him fully changed with a look of pain and helplessness on his face. 

You sat next to him and put your hand on his that laid on his thigh. “Now what’s going on?” You asked and he hiccuped, eyes welling with tears. 

“Please…please don’t leave me.” He said and you just stared at him, remembering the documents. “…Mark-” you sighed, looking into your own lap. 

“No. Just let me explain myself.” he hopped off to the couch quickly. He stood in front of you and started getting emotional again. “I…” He began but needed to take a second to compose himself. “I know…I am not the best husband. In fact, I’m probably the worst. “ He said and you tuned directly to his speech. 

“I am an asshole to you every day. When in reality, you are one of the best things to happen to me.” He confessed. Your heart began to swell. “And I love your cupcakes.” He said and you giggled a little bit. The tears kept pouring down his face though. 

“And I love when you curl up next to me because you look so cute and pure and I don’t deserve you.” He cried. “And I love when you wear my clothes. You look amazing and like a goddess and I love your cooking and your caring nature. I love everything you do.” He began babbling. 

You went over and just hugged him. “and…I love you.” He finally confessed and you held him tighter. You broke away and went back to the counter and grabbed the papers. You went to the front door and Mark thought that was it…you were gone.

Yet you returned with a lighter and a trash can. You burned the divorce papers and saw his eyes light up even brighter than the flames. 

He stepped aside from the burning trash and grabbed you. He kissed you for the first time and it was the most thrilling thing ever. 

Nothing would go completely smooth right after this…you guys have to work on a lot of things. But now, at least you know he cares and he cared from a while ago. 

LEE DONGHYUCK (Haechan):

He could sense the way you became closer to him…and he couldn’t push you away. It was awkward already when you both stood in your respective doorframes; both deciding to exit the room for breakfast at the same time. Both staring at each other to see who would walk towards the kitchen first. 

Of course, Hyuck would let you walk first as he closed his door again and slid down it so you wouldn’t see him freak out and grip his fists in frustration. 

But you walked to the kitchen, wanting him to come down and just have a normal breakfast like a ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ should…but it doesn’t look like that was gonna happen anytime soon. Even if the world was going to end tomorrow; you were almost positive that he would up and leave to spend it alone…and it was sad but it was true. 

You skipped around the kitchen in the way of the kitchen staff. “Is master Haechan coming down for breakfast?” An older woman asked as she stirred something in a large pot. 

You seemed it silly how they called him by his alias in the comfort of his home…and the whole ‘master’ aspect. Even he has said how much he hated it.

You smiled and grabbed an apple. “Hopefully. He has been working all morning.” You smiled and began walking out after giving an excuse for the absent house ruler. He was treated like royalty and looked after by all the staff and probably could lay bedridden all day if he truly wanted.

You turned the corner and automatically ran into a bigger body. Hands came out to your arms and steadied you. You were face to face with your ‘husband’ and it was crazy. You haven’t been this close since the wedding. It was all surreal. 

“You okay?” He asked and all you could do was a nod in response to his questions. “Sorry.” You muttered and tried to slip around him. The tinge in your cheeks was burning all through your nose and face. His arm quickly came out and stopped you from moving any further. 

“Y/N…” He trailed off and you could only hum in acknowledgment. “Just…” He began and got caught up in his own words. You looked up into his light and forgiving eyes that were mesmerizing to look at; making your knees week whenever you caught a glimpse of them.

“Just be ready by 8.” He said and walked the rest of the way into the kitchen – leaving you flustered and confused. 

You were falling for him…and he wasn’t for you…but he sure as hell was going to make this marriage work. 

[mousehole5000]

okay another tgcf lb i powered through and finished book 1 this is kinda long its chapters 43-57

first off i love a lil spy mission. these things never go smooth

naughty unlucky trespassers get banished to the giant leech chamber

dont know that i care for the inclusion of “scary savage redskinned cannibal tribe” i mean i guess i dont know maybe its got a different cultural context but i just have a hard time with that one hmmmm at least its over quickly

this really seems to be a book of everyone already knows everyone but that makes sense considering how fucking old everyone is

dope. this whole little armory stand off was fun but also oh no!!! fire in ghost city!!!

awww i love him. king of not wanting anyone to die :’( also hey he did something cool!!! very competent!!! although it looks like he did get hurt from it god his bad luck never ends

yeah exactly!!!!! sword in one hand flower in the other!!! thats what its all about!!!!

mmmmmmm. MMMMMMMMMM. rich fuckers. but also feng xin was the first to show up either way.... im still care him. followed by mu qing who is talking trash but still here as well

also i might back what i said about lang qianqiu im not sure if he knows anything i think he is just like that. although theres still room for him to be involved something. im switching most of my suspicions to wind master qingxuan now because he is popular and rich

okay if im reading this right this seems pretty in character for lang qianqiu. “i dont like that your family is in power.” “haha what a silly guy :) i have no concerns about you”

but xie lian is admitting to this??? :O curious to find out more about if he did indeed do some slaughter or if he’s protecting someone else. if he is protecting someone i think it could be lang qianqiu himself in some way. genuinely unsure tho he may very well have just done this idk who am i to deny him complexity

theres that interesting little note that most officials have also committed similar crimes but never have to face it bc mortals just die

pei ming you’re half right but shut the fuck up no one asked you. i feel strong dislike towards him sorry to any potential pei ming stans reading this. maybe im sorry maybe not im not sure yet i feel strongly about this

i see this happen on cdramas all the time i love it. i point at you in lieu of words

i do think all the politics and gossip and the way that officials will change sides to gain favor/not lose it depending on which way the wind is blowing is pretty interesting i like that its in here

i love that xie lian is making sure that someone takes care of the people hes taken in and also i love everything about this sentence although i feel like we’re not going to see much of banyue which is a shame bc i liked her

oh is it flashback time? this is fun

hmm!!! interesting!!! i like this response!! i have nothing funny or smart to say about it i just like it

this is an understanding that only comes after living through great pain and/or loss. hmm.

hmmm!!!!!!!! questions!!! presumably thematic ones!!!

please let us dig into whatever is going on in this little trio. actions speak louder than words mu qing

okay here we go feng xin is here and im not going to screencap the whole thiing but wow these two see each other and half a page later start swinging okay

oh my god hua cheng giving us a jailbreak arc? instant chaos. amazing

scream everything about this is funny. maximum cunt behavior. everyones reaction fadsjflksdjlk;afsl

mxtx: all characters other than hualian are straight mxtx: the thing feng xin is most afraid of is a women’s bath also women in general he is afraid of them fajkdjskfslda i mean there could be other reasons for this but its very funny in that context

stop theyre too much faslfkjasdf im so glad we’re getting this

im not 100% sure how i feel about these swords that. moan? hmm.

xie lian king of speaking out against stan culture. for real tho i feel like this makes sense with how young he was when he ascended and how much favor he gained only to be banished, as well as with how gods have to be what the people say that they are. this is made interesting bc xie lian is quite literally a god but this is still an issue!!

this is more less what im currently envisioning on our little side trek except qi rong's vibes are so rancid im retching from behind the screen and im not getting to watch any little creatures dance so its objectively a worse time but at least xie lian is there

reading this book full of immortals beat the shit out of each other is like watching looney toons

hua cheng is relentless. also THE DRAMA. lang qianqiu youre back on the list!!! although i doubt any of this will be straightforward also i feel like im playing among us rn im dizzy

hes awful and probably irredeemably so but hes also funny. imagine being qi rong youre just vibing rancidly in your cave and some fucker shows up using the name of a prince from 800 years ago and turns out its hua cheng and he slams your head into the floor over and dribbles it like a basketball until you lay the blame for said princes death and turns out that fucker youre blaming is also here and just as youre getting into it with him this other fucker says that youre lying and turns out its your cousin. wyd

YES. CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE

bruh they melted qi rong

oh its a clone. okay. aww kind of sad that he once looked up to xie lian. maybe some sympathy for going mad. oh wait actually he was a spoiled and pampered prince? sympathy depleted again. tis a waste but. alas

wind master just told xie lian that he was lucky to have befriended hua cheng... and xie lian agreed.... interesting interesting

noting that those two are notorious for clashing and yet jun wun is making them work together

i actually got teary at xie lian talking to his parents coffins and wondering for a second if he heard his mom. god. 800 years... :(

QI RONG IM GOING TO FIND YOUR ASHES MYSELF WTF this whole situation with the child sucks :/

oh my god thats where it ends??? wowie. okay damn i was going to take a break after i finished book one but god thats tempting

[adonis-koo]

Hi um, this is for the anon that was talking about their friends that wouldn’t treat them the way a friend SHOULD. I really hope that things work out for you and your friends. Something similar happened to me today, well, not similar but it made me remember it. Today someone I considered a “friend” posted on their Snapchat story that if they’re a kpop stan to unfollow them, so me being someone that stands up for myself and what I like and hates being disrespected, I swiped up commenting “say no more” and unfriended him immediately. I’m going to be honest, it really hurt, cause even though our friendship was drifting apart anyways, we were close at one point and he KNEW that I liked kpop. He also has mentioned before how much he hates it, even though I never mention unless someone brings up the topic of music and I mention what I like, or if someone asks me what I’m listening to or watching. And also HE HIMSELF would bring it up 🙄 I’m not someone that mentions kpop all time. I’m the kind of person that you would have absolutely NO IDEA that I stan kpop unless you see my phone (cause of my photo card and lock screen) or if I mention it. My “friend” didn’t know I liked kpop so we were perfectly fine, until I mentioned it and that’s when I knew how much he despised it. He said I was “chill” though so he didn’t mind, but he would still talk VERY negatively about it and the community (even though I have to admit that I even get annoyed by kpop stans sometimes). So after I unfollowed him I posted this on my story

So today I officially lost a friend 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m about to get deep and emotional right now so... yeah. In January I lost my best friend. I kinda saw it coming so I wasn’t as fazed by it but it still hurts. Our friendship didn’t end cause of kpop, but it was still one of the problems.

First let me state that I was NOT the problem. I didn’t mention kpop cause I knew how much she DESPISED. Like, you can FEEL the hatred she has for it. Whenever I would mention it she wouldn’t interrupt me or tell me to shut up, she would still listen which is something I respect from her. But after I would finish, she would bluntly disrespect kpop and talk SO MUCH SHIT and say the most negative stuff and talk badly on the idols and call them so many names (ok now I’m crying) KNOWING how much I LOVE kpop cause not only do I watch or listen to it for entertainment but it’s also my COPING MECHANISM. Whenever I feel down or I feel like screaming or hitting something I go to kpop. Whenever I argue with my family (which happens frequently) I go to kpop. She KNOWS it, so her disrespecting something I use to COPE with never sat well with me. We’re still friends, but our BEST friendship is lost so I’m glad that I don’t have to go through that anymore. Not gonna lie, I miss going to her to talk about my deepest thoughts, but I did what was best for ME.

So now I’m going to tell you, anon, this. Don’t be friends with someone that disrespects you and what you like. It’s going to be hard, trust me, as you can tell from my experience, but in the end it’s going to be worth it. You can end it completely, or just distance yourself, do what you think is right and what is BEST for YOU.

(also UGH! just started playing so now I feel powerful typing this out 😅).

Now this is to EVERY kpop stan that sees this.

DO NOT feel burdened with liking something that your closest friends don’t like, something different. Yeah almost the whole world is against kpop and us kpop stans, but we’re STRONG, DETERMINED, and PROUD. WE like what WE like. WE cope with what WE cope with. WE find HAPPINESS in KPOP and that’s what a lot of people don’t notice, but (excuse my language) FUCK THEM

WE ARE KPOP STANS

WE SUPPORT AND DEFEND OUR IDOLS

WE SUPPORT AND DEFEND THEIR CULTURE

and even though they don’t personally know us

THEY LOVE US AND APPRECIATE US

Idols KNOW what we international stans go through and they ALSO give us their thanks and encouragement

So again, don’t feel sad or burdened for being and liking something different

Sorry guys, I didn’t plan on making this so long 😅 I really hope I helped anon with this long ass submission, we’re all here for you ☺️

And now I will end this with the words of Im Changkyun (I.M from MONSTA X)

“These people who think kpop is a bad thing, LETS MAKE THEM SHUT UP”

“... there’s lots of people, like kpop haters, well let the haters bark, I don’t even care about it”

Peace out 😗✌🏼

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Not your fault

A/N: so I did my best to make this as accurate as possible, but if its not then I would like to say I’m sorry! If anyone has any requests please feel free to send them in! 

Summary: Bill, Stan and Richie have a fight with their daughter present. 

Bill’s hand in his did nothing to calm Stan down. Stan was, to put it simply, seething. Richie and their daughter were laughing, but Stan couldn’t help but grimace. The seven year old was seated on Richie’s lap, while Richie was rocking the both of them back and forth. Emily, the name of the young girl, was giggling like her life depended on it. Her smile was bright and radiant and Stan begrudgingly had to admit that she as having the time of her life. Still, it wasn’t enough to take Stan’s mind of the fact that Richie had not listened to the agreement that was made between them and Bill.

The latter was sitting with his legs crossed on the side of the couch, his lips stretched into a wide and unhesitating smile reaching his arm out behind Emily, just in case Richie leaned forward too much, and she fell. Stan gripped the newspaper stronger in his hands, he needed to have a word with both Bill and Richie, but he was responsible enough to realize that the conversation was not one they needed to have in front of their daughter. Emily’s wavy black hair were swooped up and down, each time Richie leaned forward again.

Stan couldn’t handle it. The constant back and forth was driving him crazy, he needed peace and quit and order, for some reason the rocking made his skin crawl. Still, when Emily’s green eyes focused on his, Stan’s lips too turned into a smile, displaying all his love for her.

In the two years she had been with the family, Stan, nor Bill or Richie had even been mad at her. It was something about her, that made you forget all your worries and just focus solely on her.

She hadn’t done anything either, Stan was mad at Richie, and maybe even a little at Bill, but not at Emily.

She smiled back and reached her arms out towards Stan, and Stan without question put his newspaper down and opened his arms to sweep her into them. He kissed her forehead, a habit he developed right after she moved in, and tucked her tightly into his chest. Just having her this close made some of the tension in his shoulders disappear. His shoulder dropped down, and the insistent feeling of anger started to melt away.

‘Go on little songbird,’ Stan said, ‘why don’t you go play in the garden for a bit? I’ll make you a snack in a few minutes.’

Stan had nicknamed her songbird, because the little girl was always muttering along to every song she heard. And because the three of them had such a different taste in music, she knew lots of song.

She nodded and squeezed him tight one last time, ‘okay papa’, her adorable voice called out.

Without pausing for even a second she jumped of Stan. She always did this, she had so much energy that she always jumped into things headfirst, which was surprising considering she was more of an introvert. There was, of course nothing wrong with this. They just found it funny that she could be so timid, yet so brave at the same time.

Stan could still remember the first time they had met. Emily had been 5 at the time, and she had been really quite.

Bill was the one who had brought adoption up, on the anniversary of Georgie’s disappearance. Stan had been on board right away, without even considering the fact that adopting with three people was not the most easy thing to do. Richie had agreed aswell, even though he seemed the most hesitant out of the three. They had had many conversation, most of them late at night when nobody could sleep or a nightmare woke them up.

They had agreed to adopt, not to foster. It was Stan who made that decision, naturally with the agreement of both Richie and Bill. Stan had the upmost respect for foster parents, but he couldn’t see himself do it, he doesn’t think that he could ever put all of his attention and love into a child, only for them to be taken away again.

After it was decided that they would adopt the next problem arrived. Which two would be the official foster parents? There had been lots of discussions, because at the end of the day, the person who wouldn’t be on the official document of adoption, had legally no say in anything regarding the child. Which meant that it would take a lot of trust and devotion to be the odd parent out.

Eventually it was Richie and Bill who would be the two adopting, and Stan would be the unofficial parent. They all agreed that nothing would be decided without the consent of all three the parents, and so Stan trusted Richie and Bill enough to know that official or not wouldn’t change a thing.

They confirmed their relationship at the adoption center, because their relationship was not something they wanted to keep secret from their baby. The adoption center was understanding and accepting, and was all in all an amazing support system. It had been a subject for discussion

Stan, Bill and Richie didn’t care which age they adopted, nor did they care if it was a boy or girl. Based on their interests and personality traits they were shown a group of children, but for some reason, Emily caught the attention of all three of them right away.

The first meeting with Emily went a lot better that Stan had thought it would. He had been so nervous, especially because Emily would have to be okay with having three parents, but she was the kindest and accepting child that Stan had ever met.

She had looked up at them with her innocent eyes, green like a forest where it has just rained with brown spots, furthering Stan’s point that there was a forest to discover in her eyes. She had smiled a shy smile and waved, hiding part of her face behind her hair. Bill, Richie and Stan instantly fell in love.

During their conversation she kept sneaking glances up at Richie, which Bill took notice off immediately. Bill bumped Richie with his shoulder, and gestured at the child when she did it again, so Richie would notice too. He then crouched down to her height and smiled, opening his mount to make a joke. She beat him too it though, ‘aren’t you that funny and weird man from tv’? Stan had never laughed so hard.

It was in their third time getting together that she finally asked why they were always coming together, all three of them, while all her friends had two parents.

‘It’s cause we all love each other so much, we didn’t want too choose. Our love is so big, that we have to share it with the three of us.’ Bill had explained to her. He had looked almost pale, because at this point the all had become attached to Emily, and they wanted to take her home.

The only reaction Emily had was shrugging her shoulders, her smile not wavering for a second before letting out a timid; ‘okay, that’s so cool’, with wonder in her voice. Stan came to the conclusion the he was never letting this little girl go.

And he had been right, only 3 months later Emily came to live with them.

Her bedroom had a window looking down onto the massive garden they had, full of trees and Birdbaths for Stan. Once they got notice of Emily coming to live with them, they had also placed a bright red swing set.

The color of her walls was purple, which Emily had chosen herself. She had a two persons bed with the band Queens on the covers because, courtesy of Richie, Emily had learned to love the band. She had a bureau, a table for her to draw, a wooden closet, tons of her toys neatly placed in a corner and a bean bag near the window. When she saw her room for the first time, she had started crying. Granted, the room was huge, but still. With both Bill and Richie being famous, and Stan not being short on cash either, they could afford anything the little girl wanted.

Stan had though that Richie would be the one to grant Emily anything she asked for her, but t his surprise, it was actually Bill who couldn’t say no to anything. He suspected that it was because of Georgie, and Emily certainly wasn’t spoiled, but Stan and Richie still told Bill that he needed to set boundaries, because that’s what parents are supposed to do.

After only 5 months she started calling Stan papa, Richie dad and Bill pops. Richie would never admit it, but he started crying when she called him dad for the first time.  

After two years, Stan couldn’t imagine living without Emily at all. He had never been so happy, and he felt like his life was complete. He could tell that Bill and Richie felt the same way. Bill wrote children books sometimes, only for Emily’s eyes, so he could read it to her and see her face light up as he told her he only wrote it for her. Richie would tell her jokes all the time, and play with her in the park and their garden. Stan was the parent that provided the food and practiced with Emily on her hobbies, which included singing. Stan would kill Richie if that video ever made it to the internet.

On the other hand, that didn’t stop days like this from happening. Days where fights happened, and Stan felt like screaming into a pillow.

‘You said that we would never make any decisions without consulting the others first’. Stan’s voice called out harshly, as soon as Emily had left the room.

Bill, who was still holding Stan’s hand squeezed, a silent plea to stop the fight before it even broke out. Stan ignores this, shaking his head quickly.

‘Stan, please don’t make this a big deal, it was just a stupid school outing.’ Richie groaned, his teeth already clenched together. A sure sign to Stan that Richie too was getting worked up.

‘Guys, stop it. You two are adults, don’t turn this into a fight.’ Bill tried, ever the negotiator. He hated fights, they often reminded him of his parents fighting after Georgie’s dead. Stan knows this, but still he can’t just let this go. He still feels the anger burning inside of him, even though he knows that Richie is right, it is just a stupid school outing.

In the beginning of the week Emily had come home with a permission slip, to go to a school outing for an overnight stay-away at the zoo. Stan hadn’t wanted her to go, he used the excuse of it not being clean there, but in reality he wasn’t ready to let his little songbird go for such a long time yet. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help himself.

Richie and Bill had wanted to let her go, but because it had been a busy week they decided to discuss it on Friday. That had been the plan, only Richie had decided to already sign her permission. Emily had been begging to let her go, and Richie had just wanted to her to be happy.

‘it’s not about the stupid outing Richie’. Stan cried out, and despite being composed most of the time, Stan had to fight back the tears threatening to escape.

‘Well then what is it about Stanley’? Richie rebuked with a glare on his face.

‘It’s about the fact that you can make that decision and I don’t’. Stan lamented, while he felt bill’s hand beginning to shake.

In an instant the anger on Richie’s face melted away, replaced by  a look of guilt.

‘I know that we made this decision together, but I can’t help but feel like you guys aren’t willing to take my opinion into consideration, I would have let her go you know. I love her too much to let her waste this fun opportunity, but you still let her go without listening to me, and that hurts Rich, I’m just as much her dad as you are.’ Stan heaves without taking a breath.

He can feel Bill shuffle closer and wrap an arm around him, even Richie coming to join him.

‘I’m sorry Stan. You’re right, I should have listened to you. Not to mention that I should have waited for us to make the decision together. I’m really sorry, I just wanted to make her happy s’all.’ Richie mutters, pressing a kiss to Stan’s head.

Stan opens his mouth to respond, but before he can another voice, this time a timid sound calls out.

‘I’m sorry papa, I didn’t mean to make you fight’. Emily is standing in the door opening, clutching her teddy bear in her hands. Her eyes are filled with tears and she’s squeezing the neck of her teddy bear so tight, Stan is worried for a second that she will rip it’s head off.

Stan lifts his head from where he had placed his head on Richie’s shoulder. He instantly feels guilty, a feeling that spreading like a wildfire through his body. Bill opens his arms and sobbing Emily run into them.

‘It’s okay sweetheart this has nothing to do with you. Grownups fight sometimes, doesn’t mean they don’t love each other’. Bill whispers to her, while she tucks away her head in his neck.

‘pops is right songbird, Daddy and I just had a little fight. That is not your fault though, nor should you worry about that.’ Stan replies calmly placing his hand on her back, softly sweeping back and forth.

In the meanwhile Richie gets up again from besides Stan, and crouches down in front of Emily, just like he had done the first time around. He reaches for her hand and kisses the back of it, making Emily giggle like the funniest thing just happened.

‘Let’s do something fun, the three of us. How does that sound baby’? Richie asks, and Stan can’t help but laugh at the exiting nod it entrances from their daughter.