#They have one braincell between the two of them
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This fic is hilarious in the most effortless way, like, Idek how to explain the pacing except that it felt like being dragged through a forest by your best friends, one of whom is convinced he’s about to uncover the truth about extraterrestrials, while the your boyfriend is busy booby-trapping [sorry, “titty-trapping”] the place to keep him off course. The comedy is comedy-ing, the dialogue is dialogue-ing, and the dynamics between everyone is Gold.
And then there’s Jun. JUNHUI. The most unserious serious alien boyfriend I’ve ever loved. He’s just doing his best! Okay? Trying to keep his spaceship hidden! Making twig voodoo dolls for fun! Kissing his girl mid... chaos (?) and calling her his favorite being to have ever existed in the known universe like it’s just a normal Tuesday. Their relationship is everything. I would die for them in the woods.
But the real magic is how the fic balances the absurdity with genuine warmth. There's so much affection underneath all the marshmallow theft and suspicious figurines. You can feel the love in every dumb idea, every shade, every whispered plan to take Soonyoung out [non-lethally... I think]. This fic reads like a romcom had a baby with Buzzfeed Unsolved and raised it on Seventeen compilations if this makes any sense. I’m obsessed. I’m invested. I want a sequel. Preferably one where Soonyoung goes through the five stages of betrayal and grief and then decides to protect Jun from the government or something.
There’s about, like, ±50 times of me yapping in this. My arms are tired, okay?? From formatting all of them, typing like I’m running a one-person commentary podcast, writing down every stupid brilliant thought that popped into my head mid-read, but it’s fine. I’m fine. I do wish my thoughts would just automatically write themselves into my notes app like ✨mind to doc✨ so I wouldn’t have to constantly stop and explain myself LMAOO. Usually I do not yap this much for 2k words. I skim, I smirk, I move on, unless I really have to. But this hijacked my brain. So many things were happening up there. Thoughts were clashing, and synapses were sparking. And I had to speak, and I wanted to speak. But wow. W👏O👏W👏. Worth every tired knuckle.
10/10. Would hide an alien again.
Undercut got... heavy spoilers and me laughing crying
to trust an idea suggested by Kwon Soonyoung and backed by Lee Seokmin. → LMFAOOO, it's starting off good XD
You adore the pair, you truly do, but they have about two braincells to rub together between them and frequently forget to put them to use, resulting in all sorts of chaos; which, unfortunately, you often find yourself a part of. → LMFAO NOT TWO BRAIN CELLS BETWEEN THEM 😭😭 but babe that’s not unfortunate that’s ✨enablement✨ and ✨bad choices by association✨ This whole sentence is giving: “they’re dumb but they’re my dumbasses” energy and I’m eating it up tbh 😌 i love bss so so much and it got the og bss [seoksoon]
And tonight is no different. → ofc XD
Soonyoung got up and declared he had gathered you all to search for an alien spaceship. → this reminds me so much of how Jun was looking for aliens in an alien costume in Wonwoo's diary 😭
Which, in of itself wasn’t surprising → yeah bc of course it wasn’t surprising, it’s Soonyoung, the man probably owns tinfoil hats in bulk lolll
Soonyoung is a huge alien conspiracy theorist → HELP. this is canon now. i’m not even questioning it. the man has a powerpoint called “The Government Is Lying and Here’s Why [ft. Hoshi’s Evidence].”
insisting that they have to be at least a little accurate in their depictions → oh my god, this is the same energy as people who think Jurassic Park was peer-reviewed. But personally, I do think there are aliens, or at least something 💀 But are they smarter and more... whatever? Nah. But that's just me 🤷🏻♀️
Though you only need to look at your boyfriend of the past year to know that the movies are utter bullshit. → WAIT. WAIT. Y/N HAS A LIL ALIEN BF??? AND THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST—? I wait, let me further for more context...
Sure, Wen Junhui looks otherworldly, → okay FIRST OF ALL. Accurate. Man walked out the womb looking like he was sculpted by a bored god with nothing to prove.
but that’s just because he’s endlessly beautiful, gorgeous, a piece of natural artwork… → not the romantic delusion defense 😭
you could spend forever and a day admiring… → no because the way this is spiraling into a love letter mid-rant??
never grow tired of his pretty lips and cute moles and silly expressions and → OKAY WE GET IT you’re in love, you’re down astronomical, please go outside [oh wait you are… in the WOODS… with friends…]
well you get it. → yes, my love, we get it 😭‼️
Your boyfriend is utterly divine, a real treat for the eyes, → again. we GET IT. your bf jun is fine as hell. you’re a simp and you should say it louder.
Except he’s not, → DUN DUN DUUUUN
because he’s an alien from a planet you can’t even pronounce the name of → yesss, so context here: before Though you only need to look at your boyfriend… was said, I didn’t think they were already in a relationship. I was imagining they'd encounter each other or she'd summon him or something? I was expecting anything but an established relationship. Wait—was it mentioned in the content? Let me check. Brb. Oh, it was mentioned 🤡 I didn’t notice. Lmao. My bad. I only checked the warning. BUT HOLD ON. Just read the whole synopsis again 😭 I didn’t see this: All you can do is follow along and hope that your boyfriend succeeds in his plan to mislead your friends so they don’t find out that it’s his ship they’re looking for. part 😭 omg, I’m so dumb. It’s okay lmao, I love me being a little clueless and figuring it out as I go.
For the first time in perhaps his entire life →nooooo, pls don't shade my baby 😭 I can't bare it
Kwon Soonyoung is actually in the right place to get the proof he so desperately wants → STOP THIS IS SO FUNNY AND TRAGIC because he’s been fighting for this his whole life, probably got laughed at for years, and now... he’s about to catch his bestie’s hot alien boyfriend in 4K 💀 I SUPPORT IT!!
and somehow, you and Junhui have to stop him. → the drama. also let’s not ignore the irony of Soonyoung becoming the villain in the alien conspiracy he devoted his life to solving 😭
giving your boyfriend a look as if perhaps he’s the idiot here and not Soonyoung. Oh how the tables turn. → 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Yeah, like in movies where they need to hide their car from bad guys in the jungle and they use pieces of trees and plants to do it!” → STOPPPPP 💀 he really said movie logic = real logic like sir this is not Fast & Furious: Endor Drift pls [endor drift is fictional but yeah; Tokyo drift works here ig]. also the fact that he thinks bad guys in the jungle = equivalent to Soonyoung with a phone flashlight is SENDING me. this man is too pretty to think critically 😭
“Oh, my sweet, innocent, darling,” → this is so condescendingly affectionate I’m obsessed. you love him SO much but you’re also about to roast him into space and back
Luckily, only Soonyoung had seen it, other than you, and he was too drunk to think it anything but his eyes playing tricks on him. → the way you’re relying on Soonyoung being blackout for alien secrecy is INSANE.
You never thought you’d say it, and it’s the only instance you have so far, but thank fuck for Soonyoung’s low alcohol tolerance. → NO BECAUSE THIS LINE SENT ME.
“Trip Soonyoung so he hurts his leg and can’t walk around all night? If he’s out, then the hunt is over; he’s the one making us all do this.” → NOOOO 😭😭😭 THIS IS PEAK ‘morally gray but make it situationally justified’ behavior
Although you should probably not encourage your boyfriend to hurt your childhood friend, you don’t dismiss the idea. It could definitely work. → you know it’s bad when even your inner monologue is side-eyeing your choices.
and uses his free hand to rummage around in his pockets until he pulls out a bundle of knotted yarn. → WHY does he have this??? WHY IS THAT JUST IN HIS POCKETS??
“I just need to get these knots out then I can titty trap him.” → GOODBYE. GENUINELY GOODBYE.
“Booby trap.” → you, trying to correct him like a responsible human. emphasis on trying.
“That’s what I said.” → this is deadpan alien boyfriend logic. like yeah. boobs. traps. same thing. where’s the confusion. he probably thinks Earth languages are just messy like that 😭
You think you should probably say more, explain to Junhui that this is not a time when you can interchange terms for breasts, → NOOO BECAUSE THIS LINE IS SO SERIOUSLY STUPID I’M IN TEARS. Like from titty trap to this, this is hands-down one of the funniest exchanges yet.
“Why do you have knotted yarn in your pocket?” → THIS WAS LITERALLY MY QUESTION FEW SECONDS AGO!!!
“Hey, I almost had that one,” he pouts at you, far too cutely for a grown man/alien/beautiful bastard of a boyfriend. → love the slashes in between 😭
“It was more danger to you than him, baby.” → I think I should cry. This is so not serious. I love it 😭
For the pair’s sake, you hope Mingyu doesn’t notice because you’re positive those are the fancy marshmallows the tall man bought specifically to cook over the fire and you all know how sensitive and pouty the man gets about his food being used “incorrectly”. → OH NOOOO NOT GYU’S MARSHMALLOWS 😭😭😭 he’s gonna throw a whole emotional TED Talk about food etiquette. they’re so brave for stealing from Marshmallow Mingyu. I fear they won’t survive the pout.
which thoroughly freaks out enough of the group when they realise that the little voodoo doll looking items appear eerily like some of them. → can we talk about how terrified everyone must be realizing those little twig figures look like them??
while the others are convincing Soonyoung that you all need to leave before you collectively get cursed by whatever, or whoever, prowls these woods. → sounds like a very reasonable plan compared to staying with Junhui’s creepy twig dolls from THEIR pov. Need to survive a horror movie yk?
“I didn’t do that,” he declares seriously, though the second your eyes widen a little, he breaks and starts to laugh. “I’m joking! I definitely did.” → MY HEART LITERALLY STOPPED
a few talking heatedly, still trying to convince Soonyoung to give up on his search and let them go home where there isn’t someone stalking them through the woods and making creepy dolls of them. → love that everyone’s on Team Let’s Not Get Cursed.
"I am. I'm glad you're aware of that." → YESS MA’AM. 👏 SELF LOVE 👏 MUTUAL LOVE 👏 WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I want them at my wedding.
Just as you're about to comply and start waxing poetic about your boyfriend in a way that you know will lead to him taking you off somewhere to do wildly inappropriate things in between a couple of trees, → WHOA WHOA WHOA HOLD UP MA’AM 😳 not the outdoor praise kink meets nature rendezvous. we were just talking about dolls a second ago 😭 the gear shift in this paragraph is INSANE
"He's agreed to give up the alien hunt!" Seungkwan enthuses, clapping happily and already trying to urge the group to turn and head back in the direction you came to get here. → OH MY GOD FINALLY. VICTORY.
"For tonight," Soonyoung reiterates, → LMAOOO not the conditional surrender 💀
“There is an alien spaceship here, I just know it!" Soonyoung replies. "And I'll prove it." → you gotta admire the dedication 😭
“I don't know which area the ship is in though; I just know it's here." → bro… this is the same energy as “vibes never lie” being used as a search strategy. PLEASE. [but it's true tho. The spaceship is here 💀]
“Why don't we just ask Jun?" Hansol pipes in casually, making everyone stop to look at him puzzled. "What?" → NO, NO, NO, NOT VERNON JUST DROPPING IT 😭. I mean, yeah, he seems like the one to know 😩. But how did Jeonghan never notice? But Jun is weird in a good way, so is Vernon. Both of them are insanely aware of their surroundings, so it makes sense. Also, the timing is spotless. This man waited until morale was low.
“Because he's an alien?" Hansol replies, while looking around the group as if they're all idiots. "You seriously never noticed? The dude's way too weird to be human." → THE ABSOLUTE NONCHALANCE. Vernon didn’t even guess, he’s known. Just. Assumed it was common knowledge. also ‘way too weird to be human’ is the funniest damn rationale and honestly… valid.
too dumbstruck by the knowledge that it seems that Hansol has known your secret for some time yet never said a word because he assumed everyone knew already. → BROOOOOO that’s so Vernon it hurts 😭 like he was never being quiet to protect you, he just genuinely thought it wasn’t a secret
Funny how things work out. → oh you little narrator gremlin 😭
Once again, you and Junhui exchange a look, silently communicating before turning to look back at the group as Junhui grins sheepishly. "Surprise?" He offers with a cute shrug. → NOOOO 😭😭 NOT THE CUTE SHRUG. he just admitted to being an extraterrestrial entity with the same energy as someone admitting they forgot to RSVP to dinner. 10/10. never change.
There's a moment of stunned silence before Soonyoung's betrayed yell fills the night air. "What the fuck?!" → I would SCREAM TOO.
Wild Goose Chase - W.JH
🛸Who: Wen Junhui (Seventeen) x reader 🛸What: Sci-fi. Humour/low-key crack. Established relationship. Alien Junhui! 🛸Wordcount: 2k 🛸Warnings: One mention of intentionally hurting someone, but it doesn’t happen. I think that’s it! 🛸Summary:“ During an overnight campout with your friends, Soonyoung admits to his true reason for gathering you all tonight; to hunt down the alien spaceship he somehow just knows is in the woods.
All you can do is follow along and hope that your boyfriend succeeds in his plan to mislead your friends so they don’t find out that it’s his ship they’re looking for. ”
Masterlist
It seemed like a good idea at first, but you should’ve known better than to trust an idea suggested by Kwon Soonyoung and backed by Lee Seokmin.
You adore the pair, you truly do, but they have about two braincells to rub together between them and frequently forget to put them to use, resulting in all sorts of chaos; which, unfortunately, you often find yourself a part of.
And tonight is no different.
You truly thought it was just an overnight sleep out in the woods with your friend group, and it definitely did start that way. Setting up tents, building a firepit and cooking dinner over the flames to share with a few drinks and lots of laughter.
Until, when the sun was truly down and moon was high in the sky, Soonyoung got up and declared he had gathered you all to search for an alien spaceship.
Which, in of itself wasn’t surprising; Soonyoung is a huge alien conspiracy theorist and consumes any and all media portraying aliens, insisting that they have to be at least a little accurate in their depictions. Though you only need to look at your boyfriend of the past year to know that the movies are utter bullshit.
Sure, Wen Junhui looks otherworldly, but that’s just because he’s endlessly beautiful, gorgeous, a piece of natural artwork you could spend forever and a day admiring and never grow tired of his pretty lips and cute moles and silly expressions and…well you get it.
Your boyfriend is utterly divine, a real treat for the eyes, but he looks like any other unfairly attractive human man. Except he’s not, because he’s an alien from a planet you can’t even pronounce the name of, who crash landed over a year ago in the very same woods you’re in tonight with your friends.
Which is where the problem comes in.
For the first time in perhaps his entire life, Kwon Soonyoung is actually in the right place to get the proof he so desperately wants and somehow, you and Junhui have to stop him.
“Do you think some really big branches will do the trick?” Junhui suggests to you in a whisper as the pair of you trail at the back of the group with your hands swinging between you contently as you walk.
“Like cover your ship in branches?” You question, giving your boyfriend a look as if perhaps he’s the idiot here and not Soonyoung. Oh how the tables turn.
“Yeah, like in movies where they need to hide their car from bad guys in the jungle and they use pieces of trees and plants to do it!”
“Oh, my sweet, innocent, darling,” you coo and lift his hand connected with yours up to press a kiss to his smooth, warm skin. “Even Soonyoung wouldn’t fall for that; he’s not that absent to miss a spaceship because of some leaves, baby.”
“He hasn’t noticed me for a year and he’s literally seen me almost skinshift,” he points out, reminding you of the first time Junhui went drinking with you all.
It was before Junhui was used to human alcohol; his skin had shimmered and wobbled at his first taste of vodka. Luckily, only Soonyoung had seen it, other than you, and he was too drunk to think it anything but his eyes playing tricks on him.
You never thought you’d say it, and it’s the only instance you have so far, but thank fuck for Soonyoung’s low alcohol tolerance.
“He was drunk,” you remind, and Junhui makes a noise to show his acceptance of your words.
“Okay, no to trying to camouflage the ship,” Junhui agrees. “What do I do then? It’s not like I can move it; someone will definitely notice that.”
“I have no idea,” you admit, pulling a face at your own uncertain words.
“Trip Soonyoung so he hurts his leg and can’t walk around all night? If he’s out, then the hunt is over; he’s the one making us all do this.”
Although you should probably not encourage your boyfriend to hurt your childhood friend, you don’t dismiss the idea. It could definitely work.
“Okay,” Junhui takes your silence as approval and uses his free hand to rummage around in his pockets until he pulls out a bundle of knotted yarn. “I just need to get these knots out then I can titty trap him.”
“Booby trap.”
“That’s what I said.”
You think you should probably say more, explain to Junhui that this is not a time when you can interchange terms for breasts, but honestly, you think “titty trap” is too funny and you really want him to keep using it, so you move on.
“Why do you have knotted yarn in your pocket?” You wonder, curious as ever about how the alien’s mind works. You’re not sure he even knows, which is very understandable.
“So I’m always prepared!”
“For what?”
“Anything! This is so versatile, you know, as I will prove when I trip Soonie and end this hunt, just as soon as I get these knots out.”
You leave Junhui alone for a few moments as he focuses hard on trying to remove the endless amount of stubborn knots in the yarn, but when he almost trips for the fourth time, you reach out to grab the bundle and put it in your own pocket.
“Hey, I almost had that one,” he pouts at you, far too cutely for a grown man/alien/beautiful bastard of a boyfriend.
“It was more danger to you than him, baby.”
“Oh…yeah, you’re right. Maybe I should give it to him and ask him to unknot it for me.”
“That…could actually maybe work, but later; he’s too focused on looking right now to care about anything else. He’s not even begging for snacks.” You motion to the front of the group where you can just about make out Soonyoung leading the way with Seokmin and Chan just behind him and sharing a bag of giant marshmallows.
For the pair’s sake, you hope Mingyu doesn’t notice because you’re positive those are the fancy marshmallows the tall man bought specifically to cook over the fire and you all know how sensitive and pouty the man gets about his food being used “incorrectly”.
“Oh,” Junhui exhales with widened eyes as he takes in the way Soonyoung isn’t hovering around the snacks and silently asking for some with rounded eyes. “He really is focused.” You hum in agreement. “So, next idea; diversions.”
“Diversions?”
“Yep. Whenever we start getting close to my ship, I’ll run off and create something to block the way.”
You truly have no idea what exactly Junhui intends to do, but you don’t have a better idea yourself so you just nod and hope that things will go to plan, whatever that plan is.
For hours, you trudge along with your friends through the woods, guided by Soonyoung with your boyfriend intermittently rushing off when no-one is looking to take up his apparent new job as a cartoon specialist, based on the increasingly ridiculous ways he diverts Soonyoung and your group away from where his spaceship his hidden in the woods.
From hiding behind trees where he makes menacing sounds like a wild beast, to creepy little figurines made of twigs and random items he has in his pockets placed ominously in paths, which thoroughly freaks out enough of the group when they realise that the little voodoo doll looking items appear eerily like some of them.
Honestly, you’re very impressed that your boyfriend manages to do such a good job with the figures considering his limited time and items and tell him as much when he slides back into place at your side while the others are convincing Soonyoung that you all need to leave before you collectively get cursed by whatever, or whoever, prowls these woods.
“I think you should take up making stick figures,” you comment in a whisper to your boyfriend while leaning into his side comfortably and wrapping your arms around his waist as his arms go around your shoulders.
“What?” He looks at you bewildered, sweat dappling his hairline from all of his running around tonight. “What are you talking about, babe?”
“Those voodoo doll looking things you set up to scare the guys.”
“I didn’t do that,” he declares seriously, though the second your eyes widen a little, he breaks and starts to laugh. “I’m joking! I definitely did.” You swat at him and try to move away but he laughs harder and reaches out to pull you back to encircle you in his arms. “Noo, come back my favourite being to have ever existed in the known universe.”
“What about the unknown universe?” You hum, glancing at him from the corner of your eye, where he’s now pressed against your back and swaying you both from side to side.
“That’s a real big ask, babe. I don’t know what kind of hot piece of ass is in the unknown universe.”
“Okay, good point,” you concede and nod in understanding while turning to look over at the group standing a little away with a few talking heatedly, still trying to convince Soonyoung to give up on his search and let them go home where there isn’t someone stalking them through the woods and making creepy dolls of them.
“I’m going to make them all life sized ones for their birthdays and leave them in their homes for them to wake up to,” Junhui decides, plopping his chin on your shoulder.
You cackle at the thought. “I’ll help you break in and leave them.”
“Forget the hot piece of ass in the unknown universe, you are the best being I could ever be blessed with the attention and affection of.”
“I am. I’m glad you’re aware of that.”
“I definitely am very aware.” He plants a kiss on your jaw. “Now tell me how great I am too.”
Just as you’re about to comply and start waxing poetic about your boyfriend in a way that you know will lead to him taking you off somewhere to do wildly inappropriate things in between a couple of trees, there’s a cheer.
“What’s going on?” You call, speaking up loud enough that your friends can hear you, which draws their attention.
“He’s agreed to give up the alien hunt!” Seungkwan enthuses, clapping happily and already trying to urge the group to turn and head back in the direction you came to get here.
“For tonight,” Soonyoung reiterates, pouting in disappointment as he reluctantly trudges across the dirt when Jeonghan takes his hand to pull him along with you all. “We’ll come back another day; when you’ve all forgotten about the creepy dolls.”
“Another night of pointlessly walking around in the woods?” Seungkwan complains. “No way!”
“There is an alien spaceship here, I just know it!” Soonyoung replies. “And I’ll prove it.”
“At least pick one area to look, not the whole woods; this place is huge!”
“I don’t know which area the ship is in though; I just know it’s here.”
“Why don’t we just ask Jun?” Hansol pipes in casually, making everyone stop to look at him puzzled. “What?”
“Why would we ask Jun?” Jeonghan questions while you and Junhui exchange a quick, panicked look.
“Because he’s an alien?” Hansol replies, while looking around the group as if they’re all idiots. “You seriously never noticed? The dude’s way too weird to be human.”
All at once, the group turn to look at you and Junhui where you stand hand in hand with matching wide eyes, too dumbstruck by the knowledge that it seems that Hansol has known your secret for some time yet never said a word because he assumed everyone knew already. Funny how things work out.
“Well?” Seungkwan prompts when the pair of you just stare dumbly in shock.
Once again, you and Junhui exchange a look, silently communicating before turning to look back at the group as Junhui grins sheepishly. “Surprise?” He offers with a cute shrug.
There’s a moment of stunned silence before Soonyoung’s betrayed yell fills the night air. “What the fuck?!”
Don’t forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts 🥺 💖
Permanent taglist: @okiedokrie, @tusswrites, @svtiddiess
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📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸📸 so excited for Eddie’s groveling time
🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷 the reunions are having me in tears
⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ i love a stupid argument that saps everyone’s braincells
I am sorry I only got to this when 1/3 of it was relevant. BUT.
Since 📸 is done, 30 for
“Where did you even learn this?” Chim asks at one point, gawking at the instructions. A thicker booklet than is comforting to see before a so-called fun activity. “I know your dad doesn’t read this much…”
“Hey,” Eddie scowls as Chris laughs.
“My aunt taught me,” Chris explains. “She loves board games.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Maddie says. “Eddie, you have sisters.”
Eddie nods. “I do.”
“They were at your probationary graduation ceremony thingy,” Maddie says.
“That’s what it’s called,” Buck nods.
“Have they visited since?” Maddie asks, ignoring Buck.
“Uh, no,” Eddie shakes his head. “I think they only came out to that because it was so close to the funeral.”
Maddie frowns a little.
And that. That there. That frown. That’s where the problem begins. Buck can identify it. He can tell this is a moment he will look back on and go, yeah, that’s when the bloodhound caught the scent.
“Okay, so how many cards do I need again?” Chim asks Chris. He has clearly had the same thought as Buck and wishes to redirect the conversation.
“Seven,” Chris answers.
“What were their names again?” Maddie asks.
---
30 for 🪷:
---
Well, okay then.
Howie’s wife takes a deep breath. She wipes tears from her eyes.
“Okay,” she says, clapping her hands together like she’s come to an important decision. Her voice is sort of breathless. “Chimney, do you have a reason other than his being dead to think that this isn’t Kevin?”
Kevin looks at Howie. His eyes are still wide, face frozen with disbelief. But, still, he shakes his head. No. He doesn’t have any reason to think Kevin isn’t Kevin, other than the teensy little matter of Kevin’s death. Which apparently happened three decades ago. What does that make it? 2035. Howie is… Howie is fifty-five. He’s older now than his mother was when she died.
“Alright, then,” his wife says. “Okay. We are going to just act like you are Kevin, then. Because we don’t leave brothers out at the side of a lake alone. Howie knows that, he’s just freaking out. I’m Maddie, and I’ve heard a lot about you.”
She crosses the space between them and extends her hand. He shakes it numbly.
“Hi, Maddie,” Kevin says.
“I’d give you a hug but you’re very wet,” she explains. “We should probably leave. Bertie, Jee, can you run and grab the picnic stuff?”
“Yep!” Bertie replies brightly.
“Sure,” Jee-Yun nods, and the two kids walk off together.
---
Since ⚫️ is done 30 for
She said no, because there was a global pandemic, and then they lost Nia, and then med school didn’t pan out the way she thought, and her wife nearly died, and then her judgement on the job was questioned and she made an enemy of a corrupt city councilwoman. And then they didn’t get the baby they were promised, but they got the daughter who was always meant to be hers, and they fell so deeply in love with her. And then they lost her. And then they got her back again, but they really thought they wouldn’t for a moment there. And maybe they got Mara back, but then they lost Bobby. So maybe Hen just can’t deal anymore. Maybe Hen just needs a break.
Maybe Hen would just like to skip to the part where Chim being captain and Eddie being her partner feels normal.
But she doesn’t get to have that. So instead, she swallows her discomfort, and she braces herself for a long ass day.
🚑
“So,” Eddie says, as they climb into the ambulance.
Their first job of the day has ended up not being a call at all. It’s a festival. A beer festival, where LAFD and LAPD presence is required. Chim, new captain, was voluntold to work it. So work it they will. Their day will be spent doling out first aid and dealing with drunk people puking. Excellent.
“So?” Hen repeats.
“First day,” Eddie says.
“You’ve been back for weeks,” Hen points out.
“No, like, in the ambulance,” Eddie says. “You and I. Partners.”
“Uh uh,” Hen shakes her head. “Nope.”
“What?” Eddie asks.
“We do not have to be weird about this like you and Buck.”
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Buddy Daddies + Text Posts [Part 13/ ??]
#Buddy Daddies#Kazuki Kurusu#Rei Suwa#KazuRei#Kazuki x Rei#Kurusu Kazuki#Suwa Rei#buddydaddiesedit#BDedit#Text Post Meme#Another shorter one but this is just them ok#They have one braincell between the two of them#And Miri has it most of the time...
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The only logical option left.
#svsss#svsss fanart#mxtx svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen jiu#shen twins#i am normal for this au#something dumb to pass the time while im wasting away sick#i imagine they only have one braincell between the two of them#and its with neither of them tbh#my art
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I had the dumbest idea while working on some other TW art involving my choice in background noise while I draw...
It's Always Sunny In Beacon Hills
Alternate Title - Teen Wolf but with Brain Damage
(original iasip screencap below the cut...)

#I was just looking at moments from this show and kept going: omg this is so [insert tw character here] coded#my past hyperfixation really inspiring my current one#stiles and scott being absolute lunatics together my beloved#they truly sometimes have to ration stile's braincells between the two of them and it's honestly so real#i was lazy with the shading and colouring bc this was NOT supposed to be a full render lol#i'm insane#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#scott mccall#teen wolf fanart#my art
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Never forget the moment Peeta blustered onto the whipping block and tried to defend Katniss too and Haymitch just went “nope! You absolute fucking nutter I cannot have another child put themselves in harms way omfg you guys crave the bullets don't you.” and just yanked him back behind him
#haymitch you ABSOLUTE FATHER#haymitch abernathy#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#theyre found family your honor#theyre also idiots your honor#their trio is that one dude who's holding the leash of two crazy vibrating dudes#in this scenario haymitch is the middle tired dude#in others its katniss#in others its peeta#theyre all tired of each other at some point#they share 1 singular braincell#it bounces between them like a round of fuckin russian roulette#“effie said its MY turn to have the brain cell!”#fuckin dorks#i love them so much#the hunger games
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Hazel has her moments holding the Idiot Ball as well.
#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv oc#au ra#xaela#hazel kha#Reg!Hazel#elezen#emmanellain de fortemps#emmazel#Hazel might be decently smart#But she still has her moments of being dumb#She and Emm have one braincell between the two of them#And while she has possession most of the time#It gets passed back and forth randomly
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Prompt 202
How about a 3 way crossover, ay? DC, DP, & LOZ
Danny has gotten into a habit, of well, not exactly mapping out the Realms, but also sort of mapping out the Realms. There’s a pattern to how things move around, like planets’ revolution around the sun. At least as long as no one moves their lair purposely. But he’s figured out the pattern, which means he can explore a lot more if he times things right!
Which is how he ended up finding this crazy world full of so much fun stuff, and he just had to bring his friends, y’know? And his new friends (one of which might not talk but is expressive and easily gets their point across) is so fun too!
They even all have matching ears, though it seems to be natural for Link while theirs is well, ecto-contamination related. But still, go Team Elves! And Link shows them all the really cool stuff and they introduce them to their friends- several of which are ghosts themselves, which is sweet!
And of course, they need to show him (and his ghosts) around the Realms too! Maybe they can even get his ghost friends to be visible to others so they can say hi to their still living friends too! (Link, Link no, don’t challenge Fright Knight to a spar-)
Everything is going great, they’re having fun! Zelda is going a little feral in learning all this stuff about other worlds and the Realms and everything. Link is enjoying eating everything and sparring and just generally exploring. It’s fun!
And then the stupid natural portal had to ruin it! Look, if one person falls through, they’re all going. Team Elves for the win after all! And hey, more minds mean more chances to get back. They all have their lives to deal with, they can’t stay forever�� probably. Clockwork is probably helping with pausing time if the sticky note is anything to go by.
But they were having fun- oh wait, this is a vacation? Vacation from prophecies and ghost attacks and everything? Well why didn’t you say so! Alright guys, continue. Let’s explore even more!
#Dcxdp#Dpxdc#DPxLOZ#DPxDCxLOZ#DCxLOZ#Legend of Zelda Crossover#DC Crossover#Danny Phantom Crossover#Breath of the Wild Crossover#Why yes Tucker mixes sheikah tech with his PDA (he is now borderline unstoppable oh no)#Sam had an army of Korok following her & has so many gifts from them#Zelda and Sam become Best Friends#Link and Danny are Feral Besties#Tucker swaps between both depending on if he has the group braincell or not#The heroes & villains are running around searching for these five feral elf children#Children who don’t speak the same language as them & have wrecked so much shit#They’re all smart but the moment they’re together their braincell mushes into One#That rolls between them or disappears#On rare cases they have Two whole braincells#Usually belonging to Zelda#Billy is instantly clocked as Fellow Feral Child even as Marvel#Jason is also instantly clocked as Death-Touched (alongside several other heroes)
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my morons
#blacksmith's son {henry}#grey warden {alistair}#no matter what these two will always be in charge of the braincell#and probably have like one and a half braincells between them {affectionately}#alistair has the whole cell. henry has the half.
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Idc what canon is, you look at any AU I’ve got in my pocket you can bet that Marco, Connie, Sasha, and Jean are besties.

#I bet you can tell how much I love this photo#bite me#(im crying)#why couldn’t we just have this#Connie and Sasha unfortunately only share one braincell between the two of them#the braincell folks#Jean is yelling at them 80% of the time but he loves their stupid little brains#and they tease Marco and Jean a lot because they’re in love#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#marco bodt#jean kirschtein#connie springer#sasha braus#or if you wanna be funky:#marco bott#jean kirstein#conny springer#sasha blouse
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Hey so guess who did some Kiran expression work a while back and entirely forgot to post it
Welp better late than never. I would not consider this my gospel expression guide for them, but it was an important experiment in further understanding their face.
The format is wholehearted ripped from kitsuneisi's cuteguy and hotguy expression sheets. I will not directly tag out of the fear of being perceived, but please check out all of their lovely work. It's downright gorgeous.
Also here is a pupiled Kiran. As a treat.
#fire emblem heroes#feh#fe kiran#fe summoner#kiran#Gotta say; personal favorite is the tired one. That was where i started hitting my stride with these.#I drew all these in a funky order (think I started with pleased?) and with some solid gaps of time between#Which is funny because I think you can tell happy was the last one I drew lmao#Like yep. That's them officer. That's the little guy who stole my braincell.#Anyway I started 3 projects at once and I am fighting for life with all of them lmao#I may or may not have started making a 14 page feh comic. No I don't know how I got here either.#Look forward to that hopefully. Not any time soon tho that one has took cook for a while.#But the other two are definitely coming down the pipe sooner or later#art tag
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I just thought of a ship and I wanted to share it:
Spadesgorudy (spade x Asgore x Rudy)
Basically spade and Rudy tolerate each other for asgore’s sake, because he loves the both of them and they love him.
Also this man (asgore) deserves all of the love and praise and everything
Just wanted to share
Extremely valid and I support this ship wholeheartedly. If I was less deathly neutral on Rudy I'd def ship it myself. Have some doodles of them
#spadesgorudy#i guess thats the official name now#ask#asks#spadesgore#rudy holiday#asgore#spade#king of spades#spade king#asgore dreemurr#asgore holiday more like lmaooooooo#drawings#deltarune#god you can tell i fucking never draw rudy he looks so bad help meeeeee#me and meow actually have a very similar setup to shipping spade asgore and gaster#like. two dudes in love with asgore and they just have to learn to live with each other lest asgore just breaks apart like a jigsaw puzzle#whats interesting abt the dynamic between spade and rudy in this scenerio specifically#is that they both kind of. act as equalizers to one another#spade is pure evil and rudy forces him to take it down a notch#while rudy has like half a braincell he refuses to use that spade kidnaps and kicks into high gear#asgore is just an enabler to both of them he just goes with the flow#sometimes makes them take a day off and actually enjoy life for once#fun stuff!!!
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ok im going to the gym then tonight i got a few drafts i want to do then maybe ?? tomorrow ??? i'll take on the challenge of spending a few hours deleting a bunch of shit out of my ask box oml.
#see u in precisely 3 decades#LKAJSDLKASJD#ooc.#i am really missing writing gep but im wavering between having him here but keeping his blog for one im ready to write only him#when caelus lets me have the braincell back#OR#having two blogs open at once ?? idk it's just#i don't want to rb a bunch of memes there and then not want to write them LKSAJDASD#gepard muse is like MHGMMHMNHM sees sampo: ah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah#that's it#anyway
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1 Nico + 1 Patty = 1 whole Discord
#Based off of my NeroKiri proposal idea#These two have tons of braincells and only one between the two of them at the exact same time#Devil May Cry#DMC#Nico DMC#Patty DMC
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Would anybody be interested in a playlist we made for our Druid PC (Whim) and Izmark as they go about trying to figure their silly little relationship?
Well, whether you care or not, here it is. Enjoy their stupidity.
#curse of strahd#dungeons and dragons#cos ismark#ismark kolyanovich#ismark the lesser#curse of strahd ismark#PC x ismark#dnd character#dnd playlist#romance#playlist#whim x izmark#gay#pining#the running bit is that whim recently realized he's gay but isn't letting himself feel his feelings towards izmark#and izmark is starting to feel feelings towards whim but still doesn't realize that he's gay#they have one braincell between the two of them and i love them#Spotify
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Cannot sleep :/
#just pav things#lying awake here with Inigo meta thoughts#specifically the nuances of why he never intervened when Archie and Dism were fighting#He is torn between these two ideas of reality— whether Archie is dead or alive. That is true.#But eventually the latter idea takes more of a foothold; which is just a recipe for mental disarray#It’s a break from the comfortable cycle of self-hatred and destruction. So this new thought has to be counteracted to maintain inertia#So as I understand it he’s now caught on those lingering feelings of abandonment that Archie has left him with. and he is Not Happy.#Because just as he interpreted himself as being a replacement for Dism#He’s interpreting Archie and his little motley crew as a further refusal to move on from the past#And because Inigo acts on impulse (as seen best with the 💥 arm getting blown off) he’s using that momentary anger#to distract himself from the core issue as he lashes out ✨#He’s kind of a hypocrite that one. Stresses the importance of embracing unpleasant memories as a fundamental part of your character#(To the point of berating Idyllia for going the total memory wipe route instead)#but he is ALSO an escapist at heart. Neither of them want their definition of pain so they both have terrible routines to try avoiding it ✌#I’m sorry if this made no sense Dolphin I will probably do a retake with more braincells in the next few days#You know I’ve been analysing the design of this kindergarten in sydney for VCD#It’s called Nubo. Now I’ve always had a fondness for Scandinavian aesthetics but this is PEAK#So I went down a research rabbit hole and I came out of it with a clear concept for what Amonea Montessori School should feel like!#It’s this sort of cross-concept between stereotypical Australian architecture and hygge#Those oak panels and muted colours and glass everywhere#And I can carry through to an overall unique visual identity for Amonea#After all Byrgir should feel similarly detached from Earth in it’s own subtle ways#Tapping more into solarpunk and that overall comforting feeling for Amonea in particular~#I’m so happy :D
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