#They can not die until he does
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Yandere! Love God x Reader
Soulmates do not always meet in every lifetime. Sometimes, a person may become a bird that soars the skies while their soulmate becomes a fish that swims the depths of the sea. Other times, a person may become a little flower in a field while their soulmate becomes a large cactus in a desert. More often than not, the stars must align for soulmates to meet in a single lifetime.
You, however, are the exception. You will meet your soulmate in every lifetime for as long as your soul exists.
After all, your soulmate is the God of Love, an immortal being that ensures that you will meet in every single lifetime.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a little plant, an animal, or a human – he’ll always find you and love you. When you’re not there by his side, he patiently waits for the glow of your soul to return to the mortal realm.
It’s become a pattern of his, a habit. When you leave his side due to your life’s candle burning out, his world will be drowned in grayscale and monotony. He goes about his days without much care for anything, his duty taking the forefront of his mind.
But when you reincarnate, your soul colors his world with his love for you, brightening up his days. To him, it doesn’t matter what you are, just that you are – that you exist. Your existence takes the forefront of his mind, his body, his soul. He devotes everything to you for as long as he can, eager to dye you in his colors in every one of your lifetimes.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t remember him – he’ll remember for the both of you, filling pages and pages with his memories of you. It doesn’t matter that he has to start all over again in every single lifetime – he’ll gladly fill you with his love for you over and over again. Because, to him, you go beyond just being his world – you’re his universe.
So, for most people, the stars must align for soulmates to meet in a single lifetime. But for you, your soulmate forces the stars to collide so that he can draw your constellation next to his again and again for the rest of eternity.
#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#tsuuper ocs#tw yandere#yandere god x reader#yandere god#yandere love god#Aizono Tsuu OC#2024 yan/monstertober tsuutarr#male yandere x you#male yandere oc x reader#male yandere oc#“would you love me if i was a worm?” the answer is yes#listen you don't understand how devoted he is#like if u were reborn as a worm... he'd put you in the best terrarium and just do his best to take care of you until you live our your life#ofc he kind of prefers it when ur a human just bc he can talk to you but he really does just love you man#(he will never get a happy ending tho bc he's fated to live forever and you're fated to die and reincarnate forever teehee <3
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How do you think Sans reacts to Papyrus’s death during the runs?
If you mean in the base game, uh... we kinda already know? If Papyrus is killed, Sans doesn't show up again until the final corridor, where he'll ask "if you have some sort of special power, isn't it your responsibility to do the right thing?"
If you answer yes (that you do have that responsibility), then he responds, without eyelights or sound font, "Then why'd you kill my brother?"
And if you answer no (you aren't responsible), you get "well, that's your viewpoint. i won't judge you for it.... You dirty brother killer."
There's also the line of description you get if you go on to have a concert with Shyren after killing Papyrus: "A hooded figure watches the commotion from afar." It replaces the line that mentions Sans selling toilet paper tickets to your concert, and of course, of all the characters with hoods in the game, he's the one who would be most concerned with tracking your actions after killing Papyrus. So, it makes the most sense to infer that this hooded figure is Sans.
So his reactions, to me at least, suggest that not only is he heartbroken, he's furious with you. But Sans isn't one for direct confrontations and shouting like Undyne is, so he watches, and I think he still tries to understand why you'd do something so horrible. But that doesn't stop him from being angry because there's no excuse for killing his brother, but sparing other monsters, that he can fathom.
I'm personally not a fan of depictions of Sans sobbing over Papyrus' dusty scarf--he just doesn't strike me as a guy whose first reaction is to cry. For my understanding of him, it makes more sense for him to go numb, initially, then save his anger for his parting shot in the last corridor. No matter what you answer, Sans gets the last word in, and it's always to remind you that you did not have to kill his brother.
So uh, yeah. that's what I think.
#undertalethingem chats#undertale canon chat#character analysis#sans (undertale)#something sort of tangentially related that's always bugged me is people making sans' fight about avenging papyrus#when papyrus can die in so many other neutral routes and sans still won't lift a finger#and when sans *does* fight he doesn't mention papyrus at all until he loses#so like. revenge is clearly not something that motivates sans#that's more undyne's thing and even then. some neutral endings it won't motivate her either.#the neutral endings are so good for additional characterization and several are frankly unparalleled for angst potential#but they're tragically underutilized -.-;
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“Arthur can totally dress himself he’s just spoiled” why are you giving him that much credit
#no but seriously#this bitch has every symptom#being able to consistently dress independently would genuinely be a miricle at this point#he has constant meltdowns easily manipulated anger issues#admits that Merlin is his ONE AND ONLY FREIND#so that’s definitely a social deficit if I’ve ever seen one#he’s dumb as a tone of bricks and I can say that bc I am also#and noble insest WAS THE NORM.#you wanna know why king George lost amercia?#HIS BRAIN WAS FUCKED UP. HIS GENES WERE FUXKED UP#but like#anyways#key word constantly dressings himself#bc every disabled person will tell you that abilities are such a spectrum#back when I couldn’t dress myself it fluxuated wether I could or couldn’t and to what degree until i eventually couldn’t do it at all#also arthur can technically do it#but rare times and even when he does it’s shit#sometimes doing a task is technically possible but it takes 25 years off your life#bc of stress and just. god it’s so complicated and overwhelming#and even if you DO it it’s not even worth it#bc it’s shit#I will die on this hill btw#from my own little galaxy world#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhh myyy fuckkinggg god .
#i wanna eat fruit with him#does he like puerto rico we can literally escape to puerto rico#Im gonna die#JAVIERRRRRRRRR#narcos#javier peña#I cant focus all im thinking about is him i feel like a psyche patient#I need a latin boyfriend badly#chewing my fingers until i hit bone
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Insane over the awakening trio again. We fought a war together, saved each other multiple times, and I know for a fact I can trust you with my life. We have never learned to socialize normally so we can't interact in a normal environment for five seconds without dunking on each other. I would follow you through time and space and abandon everything with you. You are the living reminder of every awful thing that have ever happened to me. Our traumas make us hurt each other at every turn. We're the only ones who know what lead to each other becoming Like That. Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. You are all I have left. I cannot fucking understand you. I am the only one in this entire world who has the ability to even try to.
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#my text#asks#fe13#This ask is so good I wanna publish it first without any of my commentary and then i'll rb it with my own comments later#this is just fun to read#thinking of this line in particular:#'Our jobs are barely in the same area and we don't even hang out that much outside of necessities. '#i don't show it enough in my fics because a lot of my fics are fates focused or au focused for convenience sake so i want the awakening tri#to be hanging out way more and have had their growth but canonically before awakening they really like. Do Not Associate.#i think of this for so many of the awakening kids in general but like. they all travel through time together. they go through something lik#the future past DLC together. their lives depend on each other so much. most of them cannot stand each other.#inigo and owain Do Not fucking get along and never have really until fates when they're both adults and even then they're ribbing each othe#there's no doubt to me that they have gotten into a physical fight at least once before. or they avoid each other and are extremely rude#when forced to work together outside life or death scenarios. especially pre-awakening.#in their supports owain tries to be nice to severa repeatedly and she goes out of her way to be extra rude to the point#that he has a crises about being weird. and even if their s support isnt' canon#severa notes that owain was always nice to her and she struggled with being nice back throughout their lives#inigo and severa don't get along either. inigo is trying to be “nice”/build his confidence of talking to others with compliments#but he's genuinely condescending and quite rude and doesn't listen to severa telling him to stop talking to her like that.#note: severa actively goes out of her way to be mean to a lot of people back then. she's not easy to get along with.#(interestingly she tells noire she only does this to take people down a peg and doesn't do it to people with no self esteem like noire.#(similar to niles in a way. to be explored later.)#These people are Not Close and they are not each other's first choices to hang out. and they probably were aware of each other in#childhood but much more aware when they're older. owain's childhood friends were probably the Justice Cabal.#severa canonically hung with noire tot he point where noire grew up relying on her. i suspect she hung with the girls most of all#inigo... i'm not sure he has any close childhood friends. which could be attributed to maybe (a) living in Regna Ferox with Olivia#if you believe they went with basilio after the first war#or maybe learning early on to hide his real self early on so he never lets anyone get close. he clearly Cares about everyone in a#'won't let anyone die if he can help it/won't let them die alone (gerome/owain)' kind of way#but is he Close with them? I don't think so. not until Awakening and he has A supports
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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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li tianchen saying he hated people who pretended to be nice but were secretly jerks the most + the neighbour who saw what was going on but backed off (whether because of his own safety or because liu lan shook her head to get him to go away with the idea that it would stop further escalation). the idea that "jerk pretending to be nice" in this case is represented by an observer seeing something wrong and refusing to intervene.
looking at cheng xiaoshi's repeated interference during dives vs lu guang's mantra to keep the past as it was. to remain an observer deliberately.
#link click#link click spoilers#shiguang daili ren spoilers#tying these ideas together in a very loopy bow until I can decide what to make of it#the fact that during this entire dive we don't actually get to see how much of it was keeping things the same vs potential alterations#and that cxs went into the dive not knowing both li parents would die but lg received that info during the dive#he could easily decide to relay that info or choose to keep it to himself in the hopes of making cxs follow his instructions#(just as with keeping emma's death from him. the earthquake outcome.)#has lu guang actually been forced to change in any capacity or will he keep following the same lines. or does he trust cxs has changed#enough to follow the path even knowing the outcome. idk idk it's just musings#anyway I'm side-eying the guy with the football in the fountain big time. got some ideas but nothing settled yet beyond being sus at no fac
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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cliffjumper wip. still need to draw his bestie bee bcs i refuse to pit two queens against each other
rip my wife. killed bcs her smokey cat eyed slay was TOO loud 🤫 !!
#bulkier sharper bumblebee my Beloved#cliffjumper except emphasis on the cliff#i think he should have spiky climbing boots that can unsheath bigger spikes like that hot guy in spongebob#movie#LOL#so hes taller than bumblebee#but his thing is that he can clear cliffs with a single jump#and can also rocket jump too#a poor aerial decepticon flies by minding its business and all a sudden cliffjumper leaps str8 up into the air#and slices it in half with one kick#nobody says anything bcs they think bumblebee did that LMFAO#so bumblebee is just sipping hot coco when rubble after making some for him & rubble & rubble runs into the kitchen#bee: how was your day today my sweetiesparkling!!!😊😊!!#rubble: MOMMA URE A CRIMINALLLL🎶🎶 (criminulll)#bee: 😀🙂.... i beg your pardon -😃?#anyways i do not blame deathsaurus for craving that cookie so fking bad#and mirage for being in love with cliff after cliff was out for fking blood for his spark#in my eyes cliff is very much the soldier without the charisma bee has . theyre very foils but also best friends#he does not get sarcasm he does not have time for toning things down he loves shedding energon doesnt matter whose somebot will Die#& bee is like haaha cliff OF FUN of course haha🥰🥰😥🥰 <- is also covered in the energon of his enemies#basically cliff is like if bee didnt mask his autism all the time LMFAOO but they both envy each other secretly but still love eachother#if bee hears someone call cliff red bb he will lecture u until generstions end & if he hears u say it TO cliff u WILL die#if cliff hears u making fun off bee it doesnt matter if u were 8000ft away just casually mentioning ure not a fan of him.. cliff will Find u#deathsaurus: ive been dreaming abt k*lling u over & over & over again haha i know im so crazxyyy 🤪 lol😝!#cliff: thats fucking cringe + ure a loser + ure ugly + im Killing you + die#cliffjumper#tf#maccadam#transformers#transformers bumblebee
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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#borrowed some imagery from a weird dream i had. can't tell what this makes most obvious#that i liked FNAF. that i thought the character designs in Hazbin were kind of fun but lacked a certain contrast against everyone else#(no one else in this setting looks like this. they didn't even decide to look like this) (thats the 'certain contrast') (not visible here)#that i REALLY liked Gamzee from Homestuck but never quite got into the actual clown aesthetic#that i think the Night of the Nocturne apparel in Flight Rising rules#or that I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked Kit Fisto Star Wars's design and wish everyone had headtails like he does#Green can smell your thoughts. Blue is another of the set so Green can't read *their* thoughts. Blue is also committing treason ^-^#both of them are cats. who signed lopsided as fuck magic contracts to be bound into these strong as fuck undying robot bodies and carry out#the express will of the Undying Emprex ad infinitum until they're released from service because they cannot die#oc
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I'm gonna have to wait out a few weeks to be able to complain about jjk's ending bc rn half the ppl are bashing everyone who expected more as ppl who just wanted gojo back
#jjk 271#like no I can read I understood that gojo was gone for good from 236 bUT we can still talk about#how a grown ass man and his grown ass friends deciding how they were at 16 was their perfect forms.#before they made all the important life changing decisions. is a regression right#like can we talk about how the narrative just glosses over geto's whole entire life after hs WHERE HE WAS A GENOCIDAL MANIAC#and pretends like no one would even side eye him about that???#that's fucking regression#you're scaling his character back bc you don't want to address the root reasonwhy he went that route#and it's perfectly fine when an author doesn't want to get too political in their work it's their right I get it#but it does make me upset where the whole entire story up until here the author has been beating us over the head with leftist messaging-#- only to throw it away and settle for a 'oh I didn't mean ACTUAL revolution or changes that would rock the boat for REAL'#bc let's face it. the conditions that made people like geto and sukuna happen are still fucking there they just skipped this generation#these kids are still going to be sent out when a special grade curse shows up and some of them are still gonna die tragically early#to put yuuji as the leader of gojo's dream is isolating and a burden on JUST YUUJI (WHY WERE THE OTHER STUDENTS NOT THERE)#to make yuuji the sole messenger of gojo's will is frankly WEIRD gojo wanted these kids to look out for one another#he had nothing to say to anyone else???#yuuji's been accidentally burdened with the weight of gojo's dream now ON HIS OWN#HE IS A KID#literally nothing's changed at the end#also see how I didn't talk about gojo on his own here bc the problems are so glaring that they shine through even side characters#WHY IS NANAMI A KID IN THE AIRPORT IS THAT THE VERSION OF HIMSELF HE WAS CONTENT WITH???#or did they all have to be aged down to match haibara even though making the choice to show the ones that lived as grown would've made it-#-more impactful#A twenty seven yr old nanami sitting next to the fifteen yr old haibara would've been soul crushing right?#also why have nanami be the only one that talks like he remembers his adulthood BUT NOT GETO#WHY TAKE AWAY SUCH A HUGE PART OF GETO#YOU COULD'VE HAD THAT BE A CONVERSATION AND HAVE PEOPLE FORGIVE HIM#the more I think about the ending the more things I find to nitpick further back too#gege I love you but please I hope you negotiate a more flexible time in your next contract I hope they don't burn you out again#bc jjk is going to be an ending which I will frankly ignore and just go with 'sukuna won and it was terrible' in my head instead
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im thinking here 🤣
one thing that really gets me about fate cu is that yeah he had me fooled for a long time- by how he seems so bold and open, but he also has many emotional walls as well. he's got a heroic and kindhearted side; as well as being a cocky ass man with loads of epic skills. he serves people devotedly, but also has a very hot headed and almost dominating pride around them, at times, too. but then if duty calls for it, he can give the impression of indifference too, even if everything is going to shit inside- so even despite being very emotional, he can be super pragmatic as well...
he also seems to seriously play the role of anything he's expected to be as well, like he really seems to take being a "hero" and "servant" very literally, even if he may hate some parts of the role-or some expectations of him- at times.
it feels like it's not hard to befriend him or end up intimately entangled with him, but i feel like only very few people actually get close to him. yes he is very friendly, dependable, romantic and open to enjoy a wide variety of people... but i do feel like something about him feels extraordinarily distant. cu to me feels pretty walled off, despite him being so open on the outside. i guess it makes sense in context though?
but to have him open up? something tells me he may be a way slower burner to be very close to and vulnerable with. i know this sounds wild because he expresses his emotions so openly, and is super open to physical intimacy- but idk he seems like he keeps his heart very tightly guarded, probaby for good reason too.
all the "dam bitch you live like this" memes about him make sense now... i didn't realise he is probably a bit of a wreck inside from all the shit he been through and mistakes, regrets, and hardships as well as bs in his life.
#personal on fgo#lol if i cant get help i will just sit and ponder him until i die#maybe he does have regrets after all?#probably a lot more than he lets on#he now gives me an impression of:#that one great homie who i can rely on yet he feels so distant!#i can see him over the mountains but cant reach him#cu chulainn
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