#These scenes are necessary. Fleshing out these characters (even if you don't care about the OCs and just want to jump to ZK—which I get)...

[demaparbat-hp]

For the Spirits—

Chapter VIII: Make You Stay

And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light

Tell me what you want me to say

—No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

.

Ming had experienced so many different, wonderful things. She had lived, truly lived, and allowed herself to dream of things that had been impossible back in the Academy. Endless possibilities now seemed to lay gently in the palm of her hand. But she would give it all away to vanish the shiver that tore its way down her spine at Yoi’s words. The Prince has genuinely gone mad. He—didn't you hear?—he insists on going on this mysterious quest on his own.

[gffa]

TALES OF THE EMPIRE wound up being a mixed bag for me, there was a lot I enjoyed but there was a lot that just felt really unfulfilled. Morgan's episodes were very pretty to look at but I couldn't help thinking--the entire time I was watching, even--that Filoni's not great at creating new characters that can carry entire episodes like this, none of this felt particularly necessary or like it was fulfilling a void that I wanted to know more about. It doesn't help that I still think her arc in live action was badly handled, that if she was meant to be a Nightsister from the beginning, her first episode should have dealt with that, instead of springing it on us later, so when filling in the background of her on Dathomir in TOTE, it brings all that up for me again.

Morgan's first episode was so pretty and it was interesting to potentially get more Dathomir lore (even if it's incredibly thin and I felt it was too close to the "we see others suffering in the galaxy, but we don't want to get our own hands dirty by fighting for other people or getting involved in helping others, btw we're morally better for that :)" trope for me personally) but everything on Corvus just felt superfluous to me and I spent time trying to figure out why I felt that way. If they had done her story this way or that way, would I have enjoyed it more? If they had included this or that, would I have thought it more necessary?

And ultimately I just kept coming back to that I don't really care about Morgan Elsbeth enough that I wanted three animated shorts dedicated to her, when I could have had so many other characters get fleshed out better. I appreciated that they were showing two characters on opposite journeys, that Morgan was falling into the dark step by step, while Barriss was slowly clawing her way out of it, but that's about all that I appreciated of Morgan's story (other than the beautiful animation).

But I'm not sure I feel like Morgan's motivations were all that well planned out. It's clear that she's looking for revenge and trying to find a new family at the same time, but it's not really clear why she's working with the Empire or how she thinks this leads her to her goals. Grievous is the one who murdered her village, how does working with the Empire (as the Separatists were folded into the Empire, too) achieve that goal? Who or what is her revenge focused on? Is it that she just wants the whole galaxy to burn, because if her village burned, so should everyone else? I feel like that's probably what they were going for, but that it could have been more coherently written.

Barriss' episodes hit a lot harder, where I'm glad that she at least got an arc, but I feel like it just missed so many marks, like why even have Vader there, I'm all for gratuitous Anakin cameos, he's my trash can man and I'm always excited to see him, but absolutely nothing was done with him, despite that he was looking Barriss right in the face there. Not even a moment of showing the audience, "Oh, his soul is so far into the dark of fear, hate, and rage that he doesn't even care about her anymore." Just nothing there, like there was no connection at all. How do you go to the lengths of putting Vader in a scene with Barriss and then treat it like there's no history between her and Anakin??? So completely unsatisfying!

And then it's another series where other guest appearances would have made sense--Barriss has a whole unfinished story with Ahsoka and you don't include her here? I'm as tired of Filoni putting Ahsoka in everything as anyone else, but here it would have made sense and would have brought that relationship full circle on-screen, Barriss' betrayal of her and her clawing her way back to the light after all the trauma and hurt, there's so much she and Ahsoka would have between them. And then nothing.

Or Barriss' relationship with Luminara, TCW never really got into how that must have felt for Luminara, to have her student betray the Jedi so profoundly, for her to fall to the dark, there's such a well of potential there and it's just entirely ignored. She mentions Luminara once and it was a lovely mention, but there's no sense of resolution or completion to that arc.

I did enjoy her story with Lyn and I try not to compare what the show wanted to do with what I wanted the show to do, but I couldn't help it. During all those scenes, all I could think was that this could have been so much more powerful and complete if it had focus on Barriss' established relationships and characters I already care about, because a new random Inquisitor is just not going to hold the same weight for me as my pre-investment in Ahsoka and Luminara. (On the other hand, with the way they butchered Luminara in the last season of TCW, maybe I dodged a bullet!)

For all that negativity, though, I really loved that Barriss found herself in being a healer again, that she found the light again. That's all I've wanted for my girl!!!! (That and put a headdress on her, ffs.) I legitimately took in a hard breath when she said, "Then you have one more Jedi to deal with." because Barriss is still working through too much to fully come back to clarity re: the Jedi at that point , but when it really came down to it, when she really saw what the dark side really was, part of her still was a Jedi. And the way she spoke of her time as a Jedi, once she had a clearer, lighter head again, was sweet, I was so surprised that we got that much from her, but I'm so glad because, if nothing else, Barriss herself deserves to be in the light again.

The way she was settled into her own skin by the time she confronted Lyn on the icy planet, the way she genuinely wanted to help her, but wouldn't let her hurt innocent children, the way she could sidestep Lyn's predictable moves and could stop the blade with just a hand held out, she found her path and what she wanted to do, and oh it was so lovely to see Barriss finding herself again. I loved so much that her unshakable compassion did reach Lyn, it was such a satisfying arc for Barriss to reach that place after all the people she'd hurt. I loved so much that Barriss getting back to this place does a lot to remind us that her foundation is a compassionate one, even if she was lost to the dark for awhile.

I just wish that there had been acknowledgement of those she hurt, the people that died because of her, the betrayal she stabbed people in the back with, rather than just "sees the dark side is bad, walks away, finds the light again", which goes back to that this feels like a generic story that's mostly impactful because I'm filling in the gaps myself because I already know Barriss as a character, rather than that it continues the story that was previously told about her.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed it and I recognize that I'm being a little unfair in how I'm saying I wanted this, this, and this, rather than digesting what the show itself wanted to do, but when you're crafting two stories that are specifically about showing us the journey of two characters that originate elsewhere, you're drawing on the stories from those other origins--except TOTE decided to only halfway do that. There's a lot to love in these shorts, the animation was incredible, the voice work was incredible, Barriss' emotional journey was incredible and I'm so thankful that they even gave her any kind of compassionate resolution. But the specter of how much the shorts ignored hangs over it too heavily for me to say that they were anywhere near what they could have been imo.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

We NEED FlowerByte: Addressing the lack of Black Girl Representation in ATSV -

[a MEDIUM length essay addressing how FlowerByte IS NOT a threat to GhostFlower, and how the ship is actually NECESSARY to the ATSV fandom]

and examining the criticism against Miles x Margo:

Remember there's nothing wrong or desperate about people shipping FlowerByte. It's natural, fine, and to be expected.

Because - if you have doubts about FlowerByte - have you ever considered how there's no black girls other than Margo in ATSV? That ISTV features no black girls as reoccurring characters?

That the only two POC female characters - Jess and Rio - are adults in nurturing positions, shown only ever taking care of others?

Up until this point, have you noticed how much black girls are missing from ATSV?

Or did you not realize? Most don't. But black girls do.

Because black girls are one of the only demographics not shown or supported in the ITSV series.

As we know it, we have no young black girl characters that have more than maybe 10 lines. So far we have Gwen's bandmates and Margo.

Black girls are probably the only demographic NOT seeing themselves swinging around.

The only two black women characters are grown women, specifically MOTHER FIGURES. Characters written to aids others through their arcs, saving and comforting in times of need.

That's why I wrote Diane's background as it is. She's a born and raised Black Panther Party member, raise in the meeting house of her local chapter.

She's a black radicalist, and that's the center of her world and character. From her mirroring black disco divas like Diana Ross, to being a Black Panther, I wanted Diane and her world to be unequivocally black.

There's never any scene of a black girl in a Spider-suit, swinging around or saving the day. Not once.

And it's never been mentioned. To most people, it's not a concern.

To most people, the sad reality is - black women aren't a concern. Just side characters.

And that shows. Not only on screen, but in fandom as well.

At no point in ITSV are young black girls given a character in which they can see themselves - not even as background characters, let alone as a romantic interest.

You make think that FlowerByte is silly, because 'they don't really have chemistry, right?'

But there is nothing wrong or silly about black girls wanting to see Miles calling them pretty, or admiring them, or dating them.

Margo truly is the only black girl we even see Miles have a conversation with for the entirety of ATSV - for the entirety of the SERIES thus far.

And chances are - most people reading this didn't notice this. But black girls DO.

Imagine seeing multiple characters of the same race, but different gender as you - but NONE of your gender (nb peeps know what I mean)

Never being called cool, or strong. No gifsets of cool black girls fighting. No black girls in the fanart. Left off posters. Never seen as pretty, never shown as desirable, never having male counterparts consider them.

The message - and damage - it sends to young black girls is clear - even in ATSV.

'You're not a person to be desired or admired. You are a plot device and nothing more.'

It sends the message 'You are not an actual person. You're there to save Gwen, and let Miles escape. After that, get off the screen. Your character will be judged based on how you serve the characters around you. We don't have enough time to flesh you out any further. And we know no one will ask about it.'

Black girls notice how they're one of the only ones who doesn't get a character to wear as a Halloween costume, or as a cosplay. They notice when they see merch and there's none of anyone that looks then them. They notice when their only options are 'genderbent' Miles and Hobie, because most don't see Margo as a main character.

They notice when none of their favorite characters give black girls a second glance, or have crushes on black girls. They notice when the only black women aren't actually stories about BLACK WOMEN. They're stories about white women - with the character being drawn or cast as black.

Example: You'll never see MCU MJ talk about racism or something. Because she's not written as a black girl first. She's written as a MARY-JANE first - and the basis of her story is that and nothing more. Anything about her black identity is seen as at best unnecessary or worse, contradictory to the character of MJ - so her race is left as only a visual element, only a feature of casting, and not a true aspect of her character.

There's literally nothing wrong with Flowerbyte and I admire those that are making works for them.

Black girls deserve every bit of love, and ffs they're CUTE together.

Hobie and Noir get shipped together all the time and they don't even know each other (yet). No one cares. People think it's cute.

But Miles and Margo get shipped together - and suddenly theres a discussion on how 'unlikely' or 'forced' that ship is.

The same with Hobie x Black!readers, or Miles-42 fics - it's often when black women seek to fill their own lack of representation that others even consider them apart of the conversation. And even then - it's to force them back into their place.

'Miles is meant to be with Gwen. That scene meant nothing. They don't have chemistry. You just hate Gwen. You just want them together because she's black'

YEAH, AND? Liking FlowerByte doesn't mean they have it out for Gwen. It means they're desperately looking for representation.

YOU should be calling for that representation. Now that you know, doesn't this lack of representation disturb you? If it doesn't, but FlowerByte does, then I can't help you.

But yeah. Just a friendly reminder, FlowerByte is good for the soul and the fandom.

We as fans of ATSV have to be candid in admitting that the series SEVERELY lacks representation of young black girls, which is A HUGE problem.

The one black female Spider-woman they have had to be CREATED as black, from a white rendition of the character.

So far, Margo is the one and only original black Spider-woman in ATSV.

That needs to change. But until then, let FlowerByte sail on. If you're a Gwiles shipper, you can always double ship. Nothing wrong with it. I suggest maybe you check out some FlowerByte stuff. Maybe you'll like their dynamic, or understand why writers write it a bit more, if not 🤷🏾 hey, you tried.

I think we can all agree though - Miles' got the rizz.

Remember to support black women today. BYE.

[unboundprompts]

Hello! i was wondering what tips to use to avoid a story to become just dialogue and not look like a script from a play. The whole he said she said and there's only so many synonyms to use. Like the in between parts the actually story telling from the author is what I've been struggling with. I hope that makes sense. thanks!

What to Do With Too Much Dialogue

Thank you for the ask Anon! Honestly, this is something I struggle with as well. My characters just love to hear themselves talk.

What Does Dialogue Add to the Scene?:

Dialogue is a very easy way to reveal a character's personality. It makes them more fleshed out as an individual and it's a way for the reader to decide if they like the character or not.

Two characters exchanging a conversation can also reveal back story, add conflict to a situation, tell the reader something about themselves or about another character, and it can reveal a characters goals and motivation.

Even though dialogue does all of these useful things, there are other elements that can do the same. By all means, continue using dialogue in your writing, but don't allow it to take over a story.

Summarizing Dialogue:

If you want to show your reader that you have two characters talking to one other, but it doesn't add anything to the story, you can summarize it.

Let's say two characters are exchanging small talk about the weather. You don't need to write out exactly what is being said line for line. Cut it down to something like "They talked about the weather for a few moments."

The same thing applies to a conversation that is important to the story, but knowing exactly what is said is not necessary. You can summarize what they talked about, and even share what the characters thought about it, what they were doing as they talked, etc.

Find What is Missing and Add It:

When you find a scene that has a lot of dialogue, the best thing to do is add information that is missing from the scene.

I read that if a conversation ever exceeds six lines of dialogue back and forth with nothing in between, your reader will get bored.

A few ideas:

Give a description of the setting

Share something relevant about the characters that are talking

Have your characters move around during the conversation

Share what one of the characters is thinking

I'll share a scene from one of my WIPs (This is not a prompt, just an example), so you can get an idea:

Dialogue with no breaks:

"You wouldn't understand!" "You're right, I don't understand. Not yet at least. Will you help me understand?" "I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it." "I want you to know I want to listen if you need someone to talk to. I won't force it out of you." "Why are you taking care of me? What did I do to deserve your help?" "It's incredibly sad that you feel that you have to ask that, you realize?"

Notice how it just runs on and on? Even if you add "he said," or "she said," it doesn't add anything. There's conflict and lots of emotion, but the reader can't tell what the characters are thinking or what they're doing during this conversation.

Here is the same scene (still not a prompt), but now with added information:

“You wouldn’t understand!” Red stared at her, taking in every miniscule detail of her face. The freckles that dotted her nose, the stray hair that cascaded down her face, no matter how many times she tucked it behind her ear it refused to stay. He examined the bruise that colored her left cheek, dancing up to her eye and down to her jawline. The scar: the faintest white line he had ever seen that traveled her forehead and disappeared beneath her brow. His eyes lingered on the bandage on her neck, the red irritated skin that peeked out from the edges. He saw the devastation in her eyes, an emotion he now saw that she had masked with anger.  “You’re right.” He told her, “I don’t understand. Not yet at least. Will you help me understand?” June was the first to break eye contact, instead fixating on a mark in the wood. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even want to think about it.” A sigh from Red. “I want you to know I want to listen if you need someone to talk to. I won’t force it out of you.” “Why are you taking care of me? What did I do to deserve your help?” It was a question Red was not anticipating. His brows furrowed. “It’s incredibly sad that you feel that you have to ask that, you realize?”

The added information to the scene shows how the characters feel about the conversation and how they view each other. The reader is more engaged because they're not overwhelmed by the dialogue, and it gives them insight to the personality of the characters, making them seem more human.

Editing:

When I write, I find it easier to write out the dialogue first. My main goal is to get words on paper. I'll add who is talking and how they said it, but other than that it's just dialogue. When I finish, I go back and look for those dialogue-heavy scenes, and that's when I add the information that is missing.

Other Resources:

Too Much Dialogue - The Editor's Blog

Do You Have Too Much Dialogue? - Fiction University

[no-where-new-hero]

Wrap up thoughts on Tale of the Nine Tailed 1938 even though I'm fairly sure none of my followers will have a clue what I'm talking about:

The writing was better than in Season 1. Aside from the huge continuity plothole (what happens in the past bloody well should affect the future, otherwise what's the point), the depth of characters, individual lines, mixture of humor and tragedy, and juggling of many parts came off with more dexterity than I'd have thought. The characters have even more reality because of it and drive the plot onward.

Hongjoo and Mooyeong were amazing new characters and really helped to push through the theme of the season, which was that the way you care about other people is what makes you do the things you do, whether for good or bad. You lie because you want to protect the other person, you leave because you think that'll save them, you decide to perform sketchy magics because that might be enough to stitch back together the family you lost.

Rang. O Rang, my beloved. Kim Beom went for the throat in every scene with his haunted eyes and whispered lines. S1!Rang and S2!Rang felt like different characters somehow, or that they grew from different places. In S1, he was more complicated: more morally grey, more inwardly tortured, more selfish and shallow yet therefore more surprising when kind. He seemed to have more actual power, but less inner strength. In S2, he had a nobility that worked considering he no longer had to be the villain, but that also caught him in plot trappings of heroism: externally tormented, driven to protect and support others, less self-absorbed, less magical in order to seem less dangerous. It still felt consistent and a necessary shift to keep from being repetitive, but its a puzzle, considering that time travel continuity problem.

The folklore! The approach to the elemental magics felt much stronger and more authentic than in S1, where the big bad was a little too big and a little too bad to the point where his choices for villainy seemed meaningless. Here, each magical antagonist came with a different set of limits and strengths, which diversified the fight scenes and fleshed out the world.

Politics! We love a historical drama that actually uses the circumstances of history to animate the plot (looking at you again, The Edge of Love).

The cinematography and direction of the last few episodes blew me away. It was great throughout, but the director was just serving through that finale.

The pacing was excellent, despite the...whimsical decision for some cuts between scenes. Like there was some heavy emotional whiplash.

Makeup and wardrobe must have had the USA's military budget. The costumes and looks overall deserve their own tribute post.

Yeon is literally invincible in this season which therefore makes him the least interesting (hero problems again) BUT Lee Dongwook has a knack for comedic delivery, which really shone here in his quieter scenes.

Kim Yongji played a COMPLETELY different type of role yet pulled it off beautifully with her trademark presence.

I'm so hoping that the obviously dangling plot thread left means the writers are planning a third season.

If we don't get a third season, can Hwanghee, Yongji, and Beom just have their own show? Not even playing their characters from this; I'd be fine with any genre or format (slice of life as artsy 20-somethings would be perfect), but they're all just so good together, the chemistry is off the charts.

[rainbow-crane]

Why do you think the manga is so frowned upon in the community? It's literally a gift to the fandom. THH focuses more on mysteries than on character motivations (except for 1-2 and 1-4, I guess), and the manga was created to fill in the missing plot points caused by the limitations of the game's first-person perspective. It is advertised as an addition to the game's story, not a retelling. You need to play the game beforehand to understand it. It's frustrating because the fandom acknowledges the sauna scene as canon but dismisses everything else. They didn't have to create something like this, but they did, and for what? No reason? For funzies? Does the idea of Leon and Celeste getting more characterization scare the fandom or something? I genuinely want to know your thoughts on this.

So I'll be completely honest, I don't know a lot about the manga's creation or any details like that. I didn't even know the supplemental manga existed until about a month ago. But, knowing what I do about the fandom, if I had to make an inference, it's probably just about a lack of demand.

Like you said, THH focuses more heavily on the mystery aspects of the game than it does giving all its characters their time to shine, so people that have a heavy preference towards THH are more often than not just not gonna see the manga as 'necessary' material, if they even know it exists. It's supplemental, not mainline, and even if it does wonders for fleshing the characters out, that's not what a THH-centric audience is looking for, unless they're like you and their favorite is one of those severely underdeveloped characters like Leon. DR fans with a bias towards THH probably prefer the mystery aspects of the series, so they may just not care for that kind of content as much?

There's also just always that chunk of any fandom that believes any follow-up material to Anything Ever is 'retcons to satisfy the fandom' if it does literally anything other than rehash, sooooooo

Idk, I'd love to be proven wrong and find out that it's solely bc people just aren't aware of the manga like I was, or that way more people know of and like the manga than I know. (Also, if you didn't like the supplemental manga for reasons other than what I said, tell me, I like to know things)

[cor-regnum]

The Kairi growth game I want

I've mentioned this to a couple people and even in a few posts I've made on this here site, but I want to jot down all the things I want from this non-numbered KH title with Kairi as the lead.

Naturally this assumes being caught up with the story so far, so clicking read more means you're okay with any spoilers or whatever.

First and foremost, the overall theme of the game will be "change is inevitable and can be good" along with "but can sometimes be bad and you need to learn to deal with it" to match the Aristotilean Catharsis needed to be a KH game. The reasoning being in what little character she is given, Kairi is consistently shown to be resistant to/afraid of change. To the point that I think her fixation on Sora is strongly built in that. Not that she doesn't care about him, let's get real, but it's not to the level a lot of people want to think, especially when we look at the Japanese text throughout the series, but especially the paopu scene in KH3. Not going into that, though.

So, the framing device is that while under the tutelage of Queen Master Aqua, Kairi needs to go on her own journey through DIsney worlds because of some new problem showing up that no one's aware of yet. Put a pin in that. So, alongside Xion and Namine, Kairi goes on this journey.

Gameplay-wise

Kairi would be the balanced character, Xion would be the strength, and Namine the mage. Ideally the player would need to switch between the three for varying purposes/puzzles in each world, aside from obvious combat purposes. They would be fully fleshed out characters, as much as, if not moreso, than Sora when we play as him and it will be necessary to get at least a basic understanding of how to play as all three girls to complete the game. Plus they'll unlock combo attacks, similar to the triangle ones Sora can do with his party members in KH3. But less... extra and more about keeping a good flow of combos tied to every other attack you'd be doing. And even some combos that would shift you to the other girl you weren't just playing as to maximize combo efficiency.

And what I mean by puzzles is essentially how Neo: The World Ends With You handled each individual character's abilities. I like how much that KH3 Xion mod leans towards her essentially being a mimic, so I'd want her to have to learn things and show/demonstrate it to someone else in order to obtain key items and allow progression. Naturally Namine's ability would be tied to her drawings and memories. Helping people remember details, making some people momentarily forget things if that person is blocking their path, and even extract information from others. Even if she goes all detective mode and uses her sketchpad to take notes, that would be delightful to see. Kairi, admittedly, may have the most boring seeming ability, but she literally just listens to people and helps them move on from what's bogging them down. She basically goes counselor mode, or acts like a Rooder to anyone familiar with Clock Tower 3. It ties into the theme, because she'll essentially have to help other people move on (sometimes needing to bring them something) and accept change, and by firsthand helping others with that, she'll slowly accept that with herself, too. But we'll circle around to this ability of helping people move on later. Don't forget it. Another pin, if you would.

As for the Disney worlds...

I think she should meet with at least a few of the other princesses to see what they've been up to. With Cinderella, they should 1000% use the plot from Cinderella 3, since the plot for that was one giant "what if" scenario created by time travel shenanigans, which would be a perfect embodiment of the change narrative. (and as a personal thing, I'd want Aqua to come along as well, since she has a rapport with Cinderella already and Aquarella reasons) As for the other princesses, just seeing their lives post-movies. Maybe Disney could give Nomura their scrapped ideas for that Disney Princess Enchanted Tales series and he can... make them good. Another would be an updated Disney Town outside of the castle. For the players, it could be fun to see how things either have or haven't changed, but I'd want it to be more than the mini-game world it was in BBS and actually have a plot. Maybe even be like one giant check-in to see how Mickey's been dealing with his Scala Ad Caelum investigation to tie things back to the central plot for a bit and update things on any potential goings on with the foretellers. I imagine while the girls are journeying, Aqua is doing her own thing and comes across some info about the foretellers, as well. So her and Mickey can basically be having a meeting about what they've found while Kairi, Namine, and Xion learn about all of this. I would find it interesting to see Kairi deal with a Winnie the Pooh situation, if for no other reason than the fact Pooh has been used as her parallel in both KH2 and 3, so it could be interesting to see. Plus I just think they'd all get along so well.

While traveling, the three girls have so many good bonding and growth moments. We'll see Namine actually get to be happy and have agency over herself. Xion won't need to angst over her existence and will get to thrive with her own identity. Kairi will actually be glad to have time traveling with them and it'll gradually dawn on her that she really doesn't need to rely on Sora (and I guess Riku, though post KH2, those two haven't really done much, except for that conversation in MoM) and she can rely on all her other friends and they can rely on her, too. To get a little headcanony right now, I've ALWAYS imagined Kairi being someone who is incredibly competitive, so I would love for that to come out in this game, in a friendly way with the other two. I also imagine Xion has a bit of a short fuse, but will also come back down quickly. And Namine would be the one to generally keep the peace if things got too heavy or dangerous, but when she does get agitated at all, she goes silent and is actually terrifying with the vibe she gives off. They're treated as so similar in the narrative we've seen so far, but I want them to be able to bounce off each other in the most delightfully different ways possible.

Going back to that pin about the new problem no one's sure about and Kairi's power

Yeah, so throughout the game there would be allusions and cutaway scenes hinting and foreshadowing it, but the problem and enemies have to do with the foretellers coming back. I don't want to stomp on Nomura's plan for how they're around current day, but I imagine it's a more perfected time travel magic than what Xehanort was using or something tied to the Gazing Eye. Either way, between their time travel, Sora's escapades at the end of KH3, Riku doing The Tear, and also Riku going across realities to find Sora, the space-time could be getting wobbly and enemies from the past and future are slipping through. I personally don't think we need to introduce another kind of enemy on this side of reality, but if they have to, I'd want it something from the Final World slipping into the realm of light and it turning into some kind of monster, since it's somewhere it shouldn't be. What I would like most is for any Darklings from the Ux keyblade wielders to arrive and introduce our current day allies to the concept of Darklings. It would give Aqua more to angst about since she almost became one, will be tied to Ven and his Ux memories, and most importantly, it will be involved in Kairi realizing her power. Her unique edge over every other keyblade wielder. She's the only princess of heart who wields a keyblade. While other keyblade wielders struggle with the dark and even fighting Darklings, she is innately not going to struggle with that. She is a keyblade wielder of pure light. This gives her unique powers that other keyblade wielders just can't have that lets her easily conquer Darklings and even save them. Because remember how her ability throughout the game has been to help people move on? This power to heal Darklings is an extension of that ability. Essentially meaning that by Kairi accepting the inevitability of change and learning to grow and deal with it, she's able to heal the tormented, darkened souls of ancient keyblade wielders.

The end of the game, aside from all the good growth for these three characters who tend to get shafted by the narrative, would further the foreteller plot and display a new adversary on this side of reality with the time-space continuum being wonky.

And to wrap it all up, I'd want the name to be Kingdom Hearts: Aqua's Angels and for Aqua's Angels to be it's own subseries, I don't care how realistic or not that is, I want these chararcters to thrive.

If I think of anything more, I'll probably just reblog myself.

[bluejay-writes]

Heaven is a Misnomer - Chapter 1

To protect him from his unsafe home life, Jake's mother sends him to the Celestial Realm for an exchange program. Jake faces a pile of Celestial Realm biases, a broken system of oppression, and unlikely friends. This year is going to be unpleasant at best, but he'll survive. Hopefully.

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! Rating: Teen, for now. Might bump it up for violence but I don't think it'll get that bad. Chapter 1 Wordcount: 3136 Characters/Relationships: Jake (Exchange student OC) / Raphael (Eventually. This is a slow burn). Michael exists, mentions of all the demon brothers and extras exist, and they appear in some of the middle chapters. A bunch of new OC angels because we don't know enough about the celestial realm in canon. Notes:

Well fam, here we are, as promised. First week of 2024, Jake's story in the Celestial Realm. Bad Khakis. Michael being problematic.

I'm really excited for you all to get to meet the extended OC cast, given that we don't have a lot of named angels in canon! Also the exchange students that got introduced in DD get fleshed out so that you can meet them more as real people. (The more I write of this the more I love Bunny and Aya, honestly.)

I'll be posting a chapter every Tuesday, and given how long the chapters are turning out and how many chapters I've got plotted past what I've written, I hope you're down for another ~100k word ride.

This follows the canon timeline, and is happening simultaneously with "Devils in the Details" which chronicles Nia's first year of the exchange program in the Devildom. If you're here and sad that there aren't a ton more scenes with the demon brothers, well! There's a whole fic for that already! Knowledge of that fic is not necessary to read this one, but the tie ins make it fun!

You can also read this on AO3, if that's your jam!

|| Next Chapter >

Chapter 1: What do you mean, Exchange Program?

“Same time tomorrow, Mr. Costello?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Jake said, a smile plastered onto his face as though it was the most important thing in his world, and that he hadn’t been fighting tears for the last twenty minutes.

He’d been having tutoring sessions over lunch time for his entire high school career.  It had been the cause of no end of strife in his school life, but it was better for him than not.  The tutoring sessions were a cover, of course, for counseling sessions. Therapy. It was something his mother had worked out with the school counselor the moment she knew what school he was going to.  Jake had always been a troubled kid, and his mother wanted to avoid that kind of thing following him to high school.

This of course, was the cause of a ton of rumors that made his life ridiculous, but Jake was the king of gossip and rumors, so he was entirely too happy to either play along or do something completely contrary to what they were spreading that made the rumormongers look like idiots.

On his way to his locker, Jake glanced down at his phone. He still had five minutes before passing time to wolf down his sandwich. He was leaving the bathroom after washing his hands when he practically ran into his bestie Nia making a beeline for the ladies’ room.  She didn’t seem to even notice him, and he pursed his lips.  Great. Something happened while she was reading under the bleachers again.  That was the only real downside to his lunchtime therapy sessions. He never got to have lunch with his bestie, and as much as she claimed to love the time for reading, he knew she was dealing with her own personal hell. People were assholes. Especially their fellow students.

“Jacob, can you see me at my desk, please?”

Jake sighed, stepping up to his Chemistry teacher’s desk.

“Care to explain why you didn’t turn in last week’s assignment? The late work deadline was Monday.” He said, lips pursed in a way that made Jake think of a cranky old woman librarian.

“I did, Mr. Cook.” Of course he did. Jake did all of his homework, it was the one reliable escape at home.

“I have no record of your lab report, nor the associated worksheets.”

Jake bit back his retort. Fighting with Mr. Cook about this never worked, and only got the Chemistry teacher more and more on his case.

“I have the slip you signed when I turned it in.” Jake said, pulling out his binder and getting out the slip in question. He refused to let go of the paper, simply showing it to the teacher. He just knew if he let go of the signed slip that it too would get “lost”.  He didn’t know if Mr. Cook did it on purpose, but his grades were suffering because this man was determined that he never did his work.  The signed turn-in slips were his mother’s idea, after the last parent-teacher conference where his academic reputation had been dragged in the mud. Mrs. Costello was having absolutely none of that, she knew full well how much focus her boy put on his academics.

“Ah. I see that you do.” the teacher said, and seemed to set his jaw. “I will have to look into what might have happened on my end.”

“Please.” Jake said. He was thinking ‘See that you do.’ but he just had this feeling if he said that out loud he’d never hear the end of it. “Is there anything else, Mr. Cook?”

“No, that is everything I need from you, Mr. Costello.”

“Great, can I have a pass to my next class? I still need to stop at my locker, and—“

“You’ll be fine if you hustle.” Mr. Cook said, and then promptly dismissed Jake from his attention.

Jake cursed internally, and walked out of the room as fast as he could - he couldn’t do with being yelled at for running, but he was going to need to pull off the power walk of his life if he didn’t want to be late to his last class of the day.

“Welcome home, Jakey.” his mom said from the kitchen, where she was busily cooking dinner.

“Hey Mom.” Jake said, setting his bag by the stairs and plopping down at the kitchen counter.

“And how was school?”

“I had to show Mr. Cook one of his signed assignment slips today.”

“Seriously? That man gets on my last nerve.” 

Jake watched as his mother chopped ingredients for dinner slightly more aggressively than she had been.

“It should be fine. If not, I can go to the AP’s office and complain directly.”

“Heaven help that man if I have to get involved again.”

“I still think he’s just homophobic and taking it out on me because I’m the one most publicly out at school.”

“It could be, as much as I hate to say it.” his mother said, sliding the chopped vegetables into the skillet. “But maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now—“

“Talk about what?”

Jake froze at the sound of his father’s voice from behind him. Shit. He’s home early.

“I was thinking it was possible that Mr. Cook is intentionally ‘losing’ my assignments because I’m gay, is all.” Jake trailed off towards the end of his sentence. He knew how this was about to go down.

“Some teacher is losing your things.”

“Yes. I have pr—“

“And it’s because you’re supposedly gay.”

“It could be.”

“So tell him you’re not gay. Then it’s handled.”

“That would be a lie, dad.”

“You’re kidding, right Jacob? This whole thing is a joke, haha, joke’s on old dad.”

Jake looked up at his dad and winced.

“No, I’m not kidding, dad. I’m gay.”  It was probably the fifth time he’d accidentally outed himself to his father.  It wasn’t like his dad was old enough to have Alzheimer's or something, he was just usually too drunk to remember anything the next day.

“Oh Andy, leave the kid be. You know it’s just a phase.”  His mother said from the kitchen, and he winced. That was her way out of this argument every time.  Honestly, all he wanted was his dad to realize that being gay wasn’t the worst thing that a kid could be these days. It wasn’t even that rare for a kid to be gay, especially in the city.

It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, really, his dad not thinking the highest of him, but he knew that when his dad got upset like this… well… it went bad for his mom, real fast.

“Yeah sure, just a phase.”  his dad said, and threw his bottle against the wall.  From the way it splattered, it wasn’t quite empty, either.  Jake didn’t look forward to cleaning that up.

Here we fucking go. Jake thought. He started to say something, but his mother spoke before he could.

“Jake, go to your room.” His mother said, gaining all of his father’s attention.

“What, Marnie. You just going to take his side?” his father spat, and Jake all but sprinted up to his room, grabbing his bag on the way.  There was a reason he always left it against the stairs, much as he wished there wasn’t.

He got into his room and shut his door, practically collapsing into his desk chair. Perfect way to spend a Thursday night, he thought, pulling out his math homework and his phone.

Jake > Nia: Nia, they’re at it again. Nia > Jake: Oh shit. What this time? Jake > Nia: Same shit, different day. Dad found out I’m gay, I guess. Nia > Jake: You came out to your parents more than a year ago!!! Nia > Jake: How many times is this going to happen? Jake > Nia: I don’t know. What can I do? I can’t.. Anything. Nia > Jake: You know you’re always welcome here. Jake > Nia: I can’t leave my mom. Nia > Jake: I know. Hey look on the bright side, tomorrow’s Friday. Jake > Nia: Friday… gods bless Friday, I need my Ma hugs. Nia > Jake: Me too! Also it’s Pizza and Ice Cream Friday. Jake > Nia: Now there’s inspiration to get my math homework done.

Downstairs, more glass shattered, and Jake winced. He just hoped his mom was going to be okay, after this.  He knew he’d hear all about it tomorrow, how much he was a bad son, and did he have any idea what she went through for him…

I really do understand. Jake sighed, and put his headphones on.  The music was far too loud, but it served to drown out the mess that was his home life so that he had a chance to get his homework done.

Now… how was this supposed to work again? A squared plus B squared…

Jake woke suddenly to a hand on his shoulder, and jumped so hard he almost fell off of his bed.

“Sorry Jakey.” his mom said quietly. “Your dad’s out again. I brought you some dinner.” She set the bowl of vegetable-heavy macaroni and cheese on his desk.

“You don’t need to apologize, mom.” Jake said, reaching out to pull his mom into a hug. “It’s not your fault he’s like this.”

“I know, baby. But you deserve better.”  She ruffled his hair, and chuckled. “Looks like we need to trim your sides again.”

“Oh no, am I getting scruffy?”

“Just a little bit.”

Jake felt a strong need to put a hat on. Scruffy did not fit his aesthetic one bit.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure he fit his own aesthetic at all.

Circumstances made it so that he came out of the closet way earlier than he really felt comfortable, but he knew that if he was just himself, but gay, that it would backfire.  So instead, he was flamboyant, expressive Jake.

At least in the privacy of his own bedroom he could be himself. Quiet, melancholy Jake. Much less bright than anyone thought he was.  Anyone but Nia, at least. His bestie knew him inside and out, so at least he had that going for him.

Friday dawned like any other day ending in Y, and Jake hauled himself out of bed and to school. Early, of course, for track practice.  His mornings were utterly incomplete without a long run.  Something that helped him clear his mind and get his school mask settled into place.

Of course, by the time he was in the locker room showering off the sweat and changing out of his running gear, the rumors and gossip were already flying.  There were two new students today. Something about an exchange program.  Jake soaked in as much gossip as he could on his way to his first class. He absolutely had to share this with Nia. Hopefully she was already in class, and there hadn’t been some incident keeping her from her morning reading. It seemed like that kind of week.

Jake bounded into the classroom, glad to see Nia in her usual place.  He plopped down in his chair, facing backwards so that he could chatter at her before class started.

“Nia!!!”

“Morning Jake. Happy Friday.” Nia looked up from her book, casually putting her bookmark in to hold her place. 

“That’s your normal Friday Greeting. Today is not a normal Friday!”

“What?”

“There are new kids!”

“On a Friday?”

“Yep!”

“Their parents are the worst. Why would you start your kids on a Friday, at least wait until Monday.”

I think my dad takes the cake for the worst, but… sure, Nia.

“Okay, okay. I get your point, but like… they’re both seniors. Brothers, apparently. And smokin’ hot.”

“I’ll take your word for it?”

“No way. Between the two of us we have seven classes today. Surely we’ll catch sight of one of them, right?”

“Yeah. Hell of a story to tell ma later.”

“Miss Laney. Language.” Mr. Randall said, entering the room.

Jake rolled his eyes, grateful to be facing away from their teacher initially.

“English, Mr. Randall. Christian jargon, specifically.”

The teacher laughed. “Alright, alright. Good morning.”

At least he was dealing fine with Nia’s pedantic backtalk this morning. Maybe he was excited about new students to teach, as well.  Jake turned himself around in his chair, as the rest of their classmates started to file into the room. Jake was excited to meet the new kids, but he got the vibe from Nia that she could do without adding any new potential bullies to her watch list. He didn’t really blame her for it. She had the worst luck.

After lunch, Jake walked into Chemistry, expecting to have another discussion with Mr. Cook about his homework.  What he wasn’t expecting was for his usually vacant table to be populated… by the two new kids.  Oh, sweet! He’d get to meet them and could tell Nia what to expect in case either of them were choir kids.  The blonde looked… choir-possible. The other… seemed like he’d rather be skipping.  Did he just wink at me?

Jake settled into his usual chair, and engaged immediately with the new kids.

“Hi, I’m Jake, and apparently we’re table buddies now.”

Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome - the one who’d winked - grinned. “Hi there, Jake. I’m Diaval. And this,” He gestured to the blonde who looked like someone had taken him off of one of those 90s trashy romance book covers, “is my brother Mark.”

“Pleasure to meet you. Brothers, both seniors…” Jake said, thinking. “Don’t let me sound too stupid here, but you don’t look like twins.”

Mark scoffed. “Please. We’re barely brothers. My father is—“

“Someone entirely different than mine.” Diaval finished, rolling his eyes.

Oh. Jake thought. They don’t get along at all. This is going to be interesting.

He slipped his phone out and sent a few quick texts to Nia, before turning his focus on Mr. Cook, lest he get his phone confiscated.

Jake was looking forward to band.  His last period class, Band usually kept him sane and happy. He was surprised, after their conversations in Chemistry not to see Diaval here in band. He’d seemed like a musical sort. Maybe he was in choir with Nia.

Shaking his head to get the new kids out of it so that he could focus, Jake waved to his fellow percussionists before getting himself settled at the timpani.  He’d just picked up the mallets when the director beckoned him over. Setting the mallets down carefully, he practically flounced over to the director. The man never needed him for anything before, so this was a novel experience. He wasn’t even the percussion lead…

“I just got a call from the office, Jake. Your mother is here.”

Jake blinked. “Why is my mom here?”

“I certainly don’t know.” the director said, shrugging. “But apparently you’re going to be heading out straight from the office today, so grab your bag. I’ll see you Monday.”

Jake knew not to argue. If mom was here to pick him up, there was probably a good reason. Better her than dad, that was for sure.  He’d have to text Nia from the car, though. She’d worry, otherwise.

Of course, he didn’t have to do that, as he ran into Nia in the hallway.

“Oh hey! I have to go to the office—“

“—because my mom is here…”

“Weird.” They said in unison, and weird only began to cover the next few hours.

Their moms had come together. And had taken them out to get fancy coffee. Which was like ten red flashing lights right there. Something was very off.

Of course something crazy was happening. Of course.

“So, you’re saying you signed me up for an exchange program?” Nia said, and the look she was giving her mother over the top of her coffee-adjacent drink was telling.

To be fair, Jake was giving his own mother the same look.

“Isn’t it just supposed to be like, to another country though?” he said, concerned.

“Well…” Nia’s mom started, and his mom interrupted her.

“It was my idea. I didn’t know if you two would get in, but I suggested to Lynn, I mean Nia’s mom, that we could sign you both up so you’d be together.”

“Well, that backfired.” Nia said, bitterly.

“They said you can still text though! And video call, and regular call!” Nia’s mom said, trying to sound excited for them.

“But…” Jake said, not excited about being separated from Nia, and especially displeased about leaving his mom alone with how his dad was being.

“And there’ll be a big dance at the end of the program.” Jake’s mom said, her smile equally fake.

“So you’re saying the two hot guys who just transferred in today are our replacements?” Jake shared a look with Nia. That would explain some things about the supposed ‘brothers’ they’d met.

“Well…”

“In Nia’s case, yeah, literally.” Her mom said. “They’re staying at our place since we have the space…”

“And you’re going to trust them to take care of the girls?” Nia said, cautiously.

“Well, no. I had to take a few months of 8-5s to cover Janice’s maternity leave, so it works out.”

“That is suspiciously convenient.” Jake said with narrowed eyes.

“Jake… There’s a reason we did this. I’m divorcing your father. But It’s going to be messy… and I need to know that you’re safe, okay?”

“So you’re sending me off to Literal Actual Heaven where Angels are from to keep me safe.” Jake was angry. Nia just looked like she was numb. “And you’re sending Nia off to Literal Actual Hell.”

“Technically it’s the Celestial Realm and the Devildom.” His mother said, quietly.

Nia still hadn’t done so much as blink in the last five minutes.

“Adania. Please. Just try it. It’s a year. It’s Room & Board covered, and we have been promised you will both be entirely safe.”

Jake reached out and took Nia’s hand in his, at which point she basically melted, falling over into his shoulder.

“Ugh. Fiiiine. Can we still have pizza and ice cream night?” Nia asked, sighing.  Jake could feel the subtle trembling.

“Yes. But we’re going out for pizza.” her mother said, grinning. “And Marnie’s coming along.”

“What.” Nia said, so blankly it wasn’t even a question.

“Yeah, we’re gonna do the whole arcade thing.”

“Mom, we can’t afford that.”

“With the stipend they’re giving me to house a literal angel and a literal demon? We’re good.”

“Mo-om!”

“Hush. You’re leaving tomorrow. Let me spoil my baby girl.”

Nia rolled her eyes and Jake just laughed. 

A year in Heaven, huh? Wonder if it was going to be anything like Seven Minutes in Heaven. Maybe he’d kiss an angel. Ha. Gay angels. Unlikely. This year was going to suck.

[daryascurse]

Hehe I saw your ask, so I wanted to give it a go :D

1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 11, 17, 19, & 20

I would've added more, but I didn't want to stress you out over answer more questions. 😭

:,,)) it is so kind of you to ask i am soo honored!!

1. do you know how you want the story to end when you start, or are you just stumbling through the figurative wilderness hoping to find a road?

more often than not it's just as much a journey for me as it is the reader! though i do sometimes think of later scenes, and i will immediately pause wherever i am and write out as much as i feel necessary to flesh out; then thread them back in later.

3. on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy incorporating romance into the average story?

(◍•ᴗ•◍) honestly it's an even 50-50 split if I feel like writing an angsty smut or sweet romantic smut. i love either way. (since my average story these days are all smutty fics hehe!)

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

OH Man OkAY. it's what i would like to eventually be the final piece in the 10 Commandments x JJK series, with the First Commandment (Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Gods Before Me) and it be Sukuna and a Reader with a god complex. this would be extremely different from my normal, more-submissive Reader roles, but i have actually thought of it and had flashes of it for two years. it's kind of a chicken-and-egg situation with why I haven't done it yet; i still have one more Commandment to go before that one, which i don't really have motivation/ a strong narrative inspiration for, and then, once i do that, i'll have to write the Sukuna one...

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

honestly... it would probably be in junior high, "rewriting" Sweeney Todd but with the main character "Sweetey" who was his niece and basically just the same but she was looking for her little brother.. afsdjgdfhgjksf 💀

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

hmm. i don't mind it as a whole, but i think with fic writing / ao3, there's a weird line that can be toed between constructive criticism and outright re-writing. i remember on my original account when Unholy Land was first posted, there were a lot of comments about what "should have happened" with various ideas of that. some of those endings / continuances were good suggestions, sure, but.. it's my fic to write? it kind of made me uncomfortable. not sure what to do with that.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

this is a SUPER interesting question to me; i personally really value research / work being put into fics to make them realistic in the sense of immersion. (fics can be FICTION, of course, but if there's something that's insanely unrealistic that stands out, it gnaws at me as both a reader and writer.) so - if i am writing about something i don't know with confident familiarity, or, i even want to brush up on an accurate detail, i'll do so.

but this is a fun blessing and a terrible curse. i've had a floating wip idea for a victorian-au story that i actually have all skeleton-ed out, but, i am currently tethered by my research demands. currently learning about business incorporation laws and customs of victorian london; which i am sure that the accuracies of NO ONE would care about in a story about the jaeger brothers and a husband and an affair. !! it is what it is.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

ohhh ohh I'm not sure. hmmm!! i know i used to have an answer. ! i think across the board my prose / imagery in Matcha is perhaps my favorite fic writing-wise as a whole; but a favorite line might come from an early chapter in Chainsmoking His Love.

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

i'm so sure that lemony snicket / daniel handler's style is a huge influence; i loved the series of unfortunate events books in a ravenous way as a child.

& i just answered 20! :)

[reliquiaen]

Adding on to a few points:

Subplots. Are excellent, yes, we love them. Consider that all the subplots don't have to be about your main cast. Give the parents something to do, have the barista be doing something that develops whenever they appear. You'll have a main, core cast, and then the b-cast that supports them and it really REALLY helps to flesh them out juuuust a bit so they don't feel like props. It doesnt have to be super detailed, job drama, family drama, bad breakup, whatever. But giving them a subplot makes them feel stronger and also takes a load off the main cast.

Speaking of cast: don't be afraid to drop some names even if the characters never actually appear. Keeping your cast at just the right number to prevent the story from getting out of control is hard. And it'll depend on you personally (and I mean, if it's fanfic, it'll depend on how many characters the source material has so... grain of salt etc) and how many you're comfortable handling. I find the trick to be something along the lines of 'screentime'. Who are your core cast? Focus there, and allow for interactions with others outside that as necessary. You might find some random you threw in for a one off conversation actually serves a purpose in more than one situation, and it's better to reuse side characters where possible instead of constantly adding new faces.

This idea about word count and chapters and all that. Like yeah okay, use them if it helps, but it's also totally valid to not care at all about any of it. Don't set a limit, don't set a minimum bar, don't write with chapters. I'm admittedly a much more flexible writer when it comes to long fics, but I... Don't use chapters. I open up my doc and I write one scene at a time, not always in order, and when all the scenes that matter are down I'll go back and check the transitions make sense. It's only once I'm done that I think 'where do I make the chapter cuts'. This won't work for everyone, obvs, but I find it helps my writing feel more cohesive overall. Doing it by chapter feels like a monster of the week style show for me and we don't get on.

Don't be afraid to cut stuff out, also. When I'm doing long fics I keep a whole folder for cut content specifically so the story doesn't balloon wildly. You don't have to delete it, post out-takes or use it to springboard a separate stand alone fic. But try and keep the main story focused.

Re: world building. Keep a journal, physical or digital doesn't matter, and ask questions. If you've got friends who'll listen, talk to them (or rubber ducky can help sometimes). All that matters in the story itself is that it will make sense to the reader. But keep track of all those cool little details and answers to plot holes or mentioned-in-passing factoids because you never know. It might be useful later, or it might make for a nice lil one shot.

Do you have any advice and how to write a long fic?

I'll encourage long fic writers to add on in the notes, but as someone who tends to prefer short and medium-length fic, I'll tell you how I go about it.

Get a premise that you just absolutely love. You're going to be writing this thing for months, if not longer, so you want it to be something you're willing to spend a lot of time thinking about.

Embrace subplots. You'll have your main plotline that you want to see through from beginning to end, but you can also weave in some subplots here or there. The way I do this so that I don't get lost down a rabbit hole is that I always make sure that every chapter has at least 1 thing that moves the main plot forward and then if I want to spend 1-2K with some side characters doing something fun I can do that as well. Subplots can extend for the length of the full narrative, but they can also just last a chapter or three. If you're used to writing short fic, these might give you that familiar feeling of "completion"

A chapter is only as long as it needs to be. Don't get hung up on having a consistent chapter length. Don't get hung up on hitting some arbitrary number every time. Instead, figure out what the next part of your story needs to include and write however many words it takes to get that chunk across. Varying your chapter lengths is a normal thing to do and not something to stress about.

The next thing that I find important personally may or may not be relevant to you, but I find that I can't plot anything in much detail. If I get too into the nitty gritty with my plotting, it just feels like I've already written it. I need to keep it at the level of "And then A and B meet C and hijinks ensue." I can figure out the particular hijinks later. It's the characters meeting up that's the next important thing for me to figure out. Getting too far ahead of myself is a death knell for me in writing long fics, but there are other writers who swear by it. Test out different ways of approaching it and see what works for you.

As someone who tends to write more briefly, another feature that's common to longer fics is more extensive descriptions. People spend time painting visual pictures of the setting or the characters or the actions that are happening. Write the more bare-bones style that focuses more on dialogue (if you're like me) and then go back and read through what you've just written and see if there are opportunities to add in more detail. This can lead to some really interesting characterization choices and also help you out with worldbuilding.

When it comes to worldbuilding, you don't have to get it all on the page. You just need to share what's relevant for the reader in that moment and what is useful to lay out now so that it's already there in a future chapter. You can have an encyclopedic knowledge of how your world works in your head, but it's not actually necessary. No one is going to be quizzing you later - and if they do, you can always figure it out at that point.

Most important for me when I'm trying to get myself to the end of a longer fic, have a friend or a group of friends who are also into what you're writing - or at least willing to hear you get excited about it. Being able to get excited about your work is so important. It's like a bottle of water being handed to you on mile 10 of a marathon.

[myworldisfictional]

So I've been thinking a lot about the Queen lately and just like all the characters on the show she's so incredibly well-written and complex. I don't think she's as bad as she usually comes off as. Is she a great mother? No. But she does still care care about her kids. I think the biggest indication that she truly does care for Wille is the scene where the royal family is eating together after the funeral. When Wille says that he's already compared to Erik, the Queen gets physically ill. You can see that it hurts her to put her children through this. And she specifically tells Wille that no one ever asked for this life. I think the reason why the Queen comes off so cold is because she has been raised to believe she had to. We saw a bit of how Erik was raised. He told Wille to keep up appearances and we can only assume how much more pressure Erik was under to conform to the royal image. It's most likely that Kristina's upbringing has lead her to value the monarchy over everything else and unfortunately that extends to her family.

When the video is released, you can see that Kristina's instincts are to comfort Wille, she's just so set in her ways that her biggest priority is to protect the crown. She strokes his face and sits next to him; her motherly instincts draw her to give him the comfort he needs (because she probably does recognize how horrible what happened is) she just suppresses that instinct because that's how she's been trained to act. It's been instilled in her that the monarchy comes first and all other personal matters come second.

Contrary to what some people think, I don't believe the Queen is homophobic. Is she protecting an establishment that is inherently homophobic? Yes. But does that mean that she is? No. If Wilhelm was to confirm that it was him in the video it would open up a floodgate of challenges for the monarchy to deal with. What is so brilliant about this show is that it creates complicated situations where there is no clear right or wrong. It was true what the Queen, both Simon and Wille would get more attention if they confirmed the video, and they would probably still get pestered by press if they didn't say anything. There is no ideal way to deal with the situation. Kristina manipulates Wilhelm into denying the video because she believes it's necessary to do so. It’s not that she doesn’t care about Wille, she’s just been trained to prioritize the monarchy. These conflicting ideas are what make her character multidimensional and having even the minor characters be so well fleshed out make the show so goddamn brilliant

[girlbosstom]

Something that I think really makes succession work well is that each and every one of these characters are incredibly compelling if you think about them long enough. (Cousin greg is... getting there imo but also he serves his own important purpose)

But with the four siblings... I really don't see a weak link here. And it's something I envy so much as a writer. Each of them are so important. Each of their stories and flaws is necessary and important and function as a way to highlight the other's flaws.

Succession is incredibly written and I just can't understate this enough from a character perspective. It takes such care to breathe such life and complexity into all four of the Roy children and the people around them and I just cannot understand the idea that only one or two characters are well written while the others are nothing but set dressing. I think of that video about how all of them represent a different type of trauma response all the time! Because its so true! And they're all so.... !!!!

Like even the character that I relate to the least and root against the most (It's Roman, sorry) I have such a deep fascination with. I love his scenes. And he, just like the others, is despicable, but god I feel for him.

Then there's Shiv, whose been raised to resent her own emotions. To learn they don't help. Who treats everything like business because sincerity and love feel both foreign and terrifying to her. I've already written like a whole ass essay on her, and she deserves her own novel.

Connor lives on the outskirts. Terrified of conflict. Desperate for love but unable to get it unless he tries to buy it. Constantly both isolated by his father, his siblings, and then himself. He's a deeply sad individual who seems to love and care about the people in his life a lot more than they care about him and that has to be agonizing.

And don't get me started on Kendall I'm sorry really don't because I really cannot imagine looking at him and thinking he's completely irrelevant and uninteresting and if you do that's fine its whatever it's your opinion on a TV show but I see him and I just ?!?!. His constant need to change and re-invent himself and escape himself. His terrifying relationship with addiction and how that's taken his life, which was already in such a deeply tragic place, completely off the rails. How he carries his guilt with him wherever he goes. How he wants to do good and be good but he just... isn't a lot of the time and he hates himself for it. How he's both desperate for his father's love and resentful of his father for making him feel desperate.

(Also, don't get me started on Tom and how important he is to this story and how complex and fascinating he is. On how his story is both a tragedy and a commentary on hypocrisy and self-sabotage and how he serves as an incredibly important look at being in this world as an outsider because that's also a whole essay)

And I'm barely scratching the surface of these characters here. Seriously! And the cool thing is is they're so complex and equivocal that people could easily argue with some of my surface level interpretations! You could write whole fucking studies on all four of them! And if you had ten people do so, all of those essays would look incredibly different!

And I don't know. Maybe what I'm saying is super obvious but I just can't help but go wild at how well fleshed out these people are, and maybe you find some more compelling than others, but god. All four of them are the heart and soul of this story and so necessary to how its told. Incredibly important mirrors and foils for each-other. Deeply human and deeply disturbing and written with so much TALENT! I hope i can imbue even half of that kind of complexity into my own work.

[randomsnakesimp]

I so wish the comics had used the black roses curse for...something. In the cartoon, I can forgive that, as I remember them as basically a throwaway line of what should happen to some people. But in the comics...they just have such a buildup. But it never leads anywhere.

The only one who gets endangered by them in the present is Will, and that is before she and by that the reader learns about what they are.

Sure, they give motive to Daltar, but, I'm sorry, Daltar isn't a necessary person. The only use HE has is giving Elyon a bunch of flowers to get her down into the garden, but I'll just take from the way he dead up TELLS Elyon, to her face "It's from Will and her friends who have hidden in the garden" that literally anyone could have come in and just called her any place.

So, have a list, from worst to best, of my ideas on how to use the black roses:

- just give Daltar more time. I still feel a few more issues to flesh out Meridian, its people and its struggle, would have been good. By giving Daltar a bigger role, the curse now affects someone the reader cares about, and I do feel having a scene where he has a breakdown over parasites in the garden as they could literally eat his family would have added to point out why people hate Phobos.

- make it so Daltar is the one weak spot. Give Elyon and Cornelia a secret flower code or something, or let Daltar spy on Phobos, which would also make the meetings in the bathtub a more canon relevant thing.

- Have a main character be turned into a rose for some time.

- Have Cornelia break the curse before Phobos is defeated and let a raging mob at his garden.

- Have Elyon 'hear' the distressed whispers of the roses and make that one of her arguments for turning against her brother. Make it a mystery where these voices come from, maybe even let her think of the roses as something much more harmless and peaceful, like guiding fairies or the voice of nature before she finds out.

- Have Cornelia strengthen the hedge in the final battle, keeping the people in rose form but raising their power and letting them spread, maybe even to the point where Cedric or Phobos end up as a rose themselves.

- HaVe I mEnTiOnEd A rEdEeMeD pHoBoS Au YeT? Have the rose curse be a solution to a problem - if he can turn people into plants, Cornelia should be able to heal them of anything, as she can even bring dead plants back to life. Or if you need to hide someone - just plant them in your garden and don't forget to fertilize. Plague in Meridian? Pretty sure roses are immune.

- Have the people in the hedge slowly stretch their roots closer to the bathing pool, until they absorb the power Phobos leeches out of Meridian instead of him. Also, they'd see him naked but shit happens.

- Have the rose curse be the cause of another problem. Have Dark Mother find out about it and tweak it so she can assimilate her victims right into herself.

[fakehusbandgarbagedump]

These aren't fully fleshed out thoughts but I think my conclusion kind of comes down to the intention of the violence and what the character's role in that violence is -

Firstly, Martin is killing another soldier, who, ostensibly, signed up to be in a war. This man is someone who, despite Martin's butchering of him and his body, is not defenseless and does not represent to the audience as an innocent.

Next, of course, Martin's violence is up close, bloody, wrought with emotion. He's so deeply impassioned when he murks this dude that its intention is to evoke empathy from the audience. I think it also serves to demonstrate the effect of grief on Martin's psyche - it's literally so obscenely over the top that we understand not only what he is capable of, but what must happen to bring him to that place.

I think, in this sense, the gory reality Martin's violence actually serves as an attempt to humanize him. His violence is not only up-close and personal, it's borne from the depth of his love for his son and the pain of that loss. To most humans, I think, this is relatable, even if we can't ever see ourselves participating in that level of violence.

On the other hand, I think the impression on the audience for Tavington actually depends on how detached he is from the violence. As you mentioned, his brutality is depicted in clean, cold kills. But these are kills of people who (apart from a couple) literally didn't sign up for this. We don't see the physical impact of it - instead, we're provided the emotional impact. Thomas dies with a bit of blood, but the grief and mourning over his body is vivid. The church goers aren't given a body or an ashy skeleton, but we are able to see them sobbing as their lives are cut short. We are provided with this shot of the North Star necklace (with a slip of its ribbon somehow preserved!!!) that demonstrates not the physical toll, but the emotional toll of Tavington's violence - a promise cut short. A family's dream ended. Billings is so emotionally devastated by his wife and son he just blows his head off. All of this while Tavington sneers around on his horse and yawns and shaves his gay little face in the creek. He literally couldn't care less about the suffering we see. That's in comparison to the soldier that Martin brutalizes, whose blood we may see, but family, hopes, and dreams we do not.

Ultimately, seeing that gore isn't necessary for the impact that the movie is looking for those scenes to have - so I think it's less about the sanitization or the lack of audience ability to stomach it, but more about whether or not it even needs to exist.

New Thoughts on Visual Representations of Violence in The Patriot

As I was reading through reviews to plan a lesson on evaluating sources for my students, I kept seeing descriptions of The Patriot's extreme violence (which is wild looking back from 2024!) and of Tavington's excessive cruelty. And it occurred to me that anyone who had not seen the film would probably expect those two things to be connected, and they would be resoundingly incorrect.

The most striking example of Tavington's violence is, of course, the burning of Pembroke Church. The scene is visually arresting, but for very different reasons than we might expect seeing Tavington's superior officer describe his tactics as "brutal" and learning the populace has named him "the butcher." In one a wide shot of the interior, fading sunlight is shining through the windows, illuminating the congregation, all of them in cool tones so that the one bit of color that catches the eye is the back of Tavington's red jacket as he addresses them from his horse. It looks like an 18th century painting. It looks like it could be a shot from Stanley Kubrick's Barry Lydon (1975). The same goes for the wide shot with the church going up in flames as the British dragoons and regulars look on. What is absent from this scene is actual visualization of violence. Once Wilkins lights the church and smoke begins pouring underneath the doors, the interior shots become very tight, focusing on the terrified faces of women and men. We never see them again. The scene inside the church ends before anyone can so much as cough, and John Williams' score rises in the external shots to drown out the screams of those trapped inside. The next visual reference we have to the Pembroke congregation is freshly dug graves with neat little white crosses.

Tavington's other kills are similarly crisp and clean. He kills both Thomas and Gabriel Martin with wounds through the torso, from a shot and saber respectively, and while they do not appear to be in the bloom of health when they die in their father's arms, nor are their deaths remotely messy. For reference, Wade is wounded through the torso in Stephen Spielberg's Saving Private Ryan from two years earlier, and his dying produces buckets of blood. In one scene featured only the extended cut, we are meant to believe Tavington and Bordon have tortured a man to death without either of them getting stained by so much as a drop of blood.

Meanwhile, Benjamin Martin is also evoking a classic of 70s cinema in a scene I will henceforth only describe as The South Carolina Tomahawk Massacre. When I went to Amazon Prime to pick up where I left off on my last viewing, I got to see this scene completely unprepared. And I was reminded that it is visually horrifying, audibly gut-wrenching, and goes on for longer than most kills in slasher movies. Most of the shots in this scene are close-ups of Gibson's blood-splattered face as he grunts with exertion and finally screams, redoubling his efforts. There is a score in this scene, but the thwack of the tomahawk going into the British soldier's back again and again cuts straight through it. There are also some PoV shots from Martin's sons' perspectives, but every time I see this scene I'm grateful that there's no Martin PoV shot. That would show a degree of bodily destruction I could never unsee.

Frankly, I'm at a loss as to why this is. Why is the villain's violence so sanitized it would be at home in one of Disney's darker offerings while the apparent hero takes a literal blood bath half an hour into the run time? Who is this audience that can stomach cannon balls tearing off men's heads and legs but not the charred corpse of a woman or child? Is there something rugged and manly about Martin getting soaked in blood like Carrie at the prom and something effete about Tavington's distaste for excess in his violence?

You tell me! There are more ways to take this than I could write about out or probably even imagine. Reblogs and replies are equally appreciated, as are DMs. I want to read someone else's thoughts for a change!

[justafoxhound]

For the fanfic writer ask game: 10, 24, 31, 52 please :)

10. At what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

If it's a one-shot (that's mostly all I've written until recently) I name it after it's finished. It's quite easy to come up with something, if I don't mind it maybe being cheesy, but I also don't care that much as it's a silly one-shot.

Tbf I've only written one long fic. I used a place holder title that made me laugh... but it stuck. I tried a lot to work out something else but nothing felt right. I guess it's quite hard. I prefer titles that relate to a line/moment in the story, but I've only managed that once! I need to get more poetic and symbolic I guess.

24. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

On average.... approaching 0 words based on a medium timescale now lol. When I was in the swing of my long fic, maybe 1- 2k ? Idk that's a very rough guess. I'd be interested in these stats but I have no record of my productivity... unless I calculate an average from when I posted each chapter... is that necessary? Probably not... 🤔

31. tell us about one of your characters who is an absolute joy to write

She is my only 'proper' character IMO since others are not fleshed out enough to feel real, but Talia has been a joy to write. Very purposefully I made her bold, expressive and lively so I could write a fun story. She has her share of trauma and heartache of course, but she will not fade meekly into melancholy or self pity. She is the kind to go out kicking and screaming, or taking someone down with her. She is hot headed, defensive, tenacious, daring, funny. She's still very young (=more chaos😁) but as a teen she got on well with most other kids in the Vault, however she was always independent so never fully became part of any one clique. Nonetheless her willingness to make trouble did make her popular with Butch and Co, and continues to intrigue bad men.😬

52. How many unfinished stories/ ideas are you working on at the same time?

Two. But 'working on' is too much for what I'm doing. I'm just thinking about. Making notes i cant read. Writing scenes that may not even fit anywhere... but I write them when I feel them strongly, i find the mood comes across then.

[cricket-boyy]

Just gonna ramble a bit about what my ideal Digimon game would be like.

It would definitely need to be a jrpg but not a monster collector. I feel like the comparisons to pokemon are the main reason for why that's the go to concept for a Digimon game. But whereas pokemon's thing is "gotta catch em all", Digimon's is something different. The core point of Digimon has from the very start been the bond between digimon and their partners. Therefore to stay true to that theme in a videogame would to me mean a focus on narrative, where instead of playing as a blank slate silent protagonist you'd control a fully fleshed out character. I would also want the partner digimon to be a proper character in their own right (personally I'd love Veemon who evolves into the Veedramon line). You could still have a choice of who your partner would be like in the Cyber Sleuths but then they'd all just be written as the same character. Only the model and names would change.

I believe Digimon would lend itself well to being a traditional story driven jrpg with set party members. Now if you really need monster collecting in there, I'd have it as a slapped on side thing and have the story be about needing to build an army to revolt against the villain who's a ruler of some sort. I'd definitely write a Digimon story with heavy anti-capitalist themes. But I think ultimately the story should have a simple plot and be mostly character focused. Characters get isekai'd to the digital world, get partnered up with their digimon, explore, a problem is presented (ie bad guy is doing bad things), they solve it, shit gets fucked, more bad guys, stakes are raised, maybe go back to the real world cuz villains go there, solve that, get back to the digital world cuz gotta take care of the big bad, the end.

Dialogue choices and branching paths would be cool but not necessary. Maybe a social link type mechanic that unlocks side quests or something. I wouldn't wanna tie evolutions to those though. One of many things that was disappointing about Survive was that evolutions past champion were these missable side things. Evolution scenes should be hype pop-off character developing moments but taking them out of the main story and having the writing be flimsy and just bad (I mean all of the writing in Survive is bad), ruins one the most fun parts of Digimon. They didn't even have voice acting.

Gameplay-wise I'd take heavy inspiration from SMTV, at least with the exploration. Open world is a recipe for disaster, so multiple open levels is the way to go. I'd also love to see environments in the digital world that we don't usually get to see like a big city. Exploring jungles, deserts, ruins and then going to a huge busy city could be a great moment.

Combat should have some kind of a gimmick. I'm often disappointed by turn-based combat systems due to them being too simplistic to me. I have a bunch of ideas I'm not gonna list here, but something that encourages you to use all of the tools available and keeps you on your toes. The last thing I want is just using your strongest attacks over and over, and the only strategy to keep in mind is some rock-paper-scissors weakness system.

Also the vibes should be Y2K heavy. I'm talking trance and prog house music, late 90's-early 00's style fits on the main characters.

When it comes to videogames the Digimon franchise has so much to offer, which is why it's so sad to me to not see that potential realized. The Cyber Sleuths are difficult to go back to cuz they don't respect your time, Survive is a badly written visual novel, and I doubt whatever comes next will quench my thirst for a Digimon game that I could love. It's great to see how much effort they're putting into the card game, I just wish Bandai would take a chance and put a similar amount of effort (and money) into a videogame. I mean the Cyber Sleuths, despite not being very good, got a lot of attention on them for being better than what had come before, having a bit more mainstream appeal and good old fashioned word of mouth. Imagine how a game that's on the level of, say Shin Megami Tensei V (but with a better story pls) could do.

So yeah, here's hoping one day a Digimon game can rock my socks off.