#There's also a big consent issue I'm ignoring because it's part of the fantasy and thus is comedic in tone

[foone]

I'm still not really into mind-control as a fetish, even if it occasionally has some interesting ideas, but I will say that I've now read enough low-effort mind control fiction that I am putting my foot down: I no longer have any time for men using mind control to make random women have sex with them.

That's a complete waste of your powers. Put your dick away and take over the government or at least become rich and powerful.

Yes I know it's a fantasy but it's a boring fantasy. "what if I could make random women suck my cock with my MIND POWERS?" shut up. That's like having the ability to fly and you only use it to get to the carpark faster.

You've got potentially world-altering powers and all you can do is fuck some people?

Why don't you go find a politician you hate and Suggest they take up a new hobby of covering themselves in honey and A1 sauce and run through the woods naked shouting "all bears are bastards?"

Why don't you track down a billionaire and Suggest he stop trying to build spaceships and instead cure hunger or homelessness?

Why don't you go convince the senate to take climate change seriously? You could save the god damn world, and instead you're just fucking some hot woman?

Deeply unserious behavior. I'm through with it. I've read fiction before where there's a task force within the mind controller society that tracks down mind controllers who try to screw with politics, but frankly I want the opposite. If you're not screwing with politics, just screwing with sexy ladies or sexy men or sexy whatevers, we take you out with a sniper rifle (from beyond mind control range). You're wasting your talents.

[dolleminas]

I have so many Feelings about this topic. Warning for a Long Reply Incoming TM.

Like, you can't expect people to feel positive about a body part when, throughout their entire life they've had it shoved (pun not intended) down their throat.

When I had just turned 13 and was a freshman in highschool, I had boys "joke" about putting their dick on the back of my neck because it was so big and heavy that it would break my neck. Can you imagine being a child and have people threaten to break your neck with their genitals? That shit is vile.

When I had just turned 13 and I got a mobile phone, I went on the internet as children do. Once men realised I was a girl they sent me nudes. Me. A child. Countless of pictures about their genitals. This continued for YEARS. Just, an endless storm of pictures of genitals that I did not consent to, and graphic sexual fantasies they sent to my inbox, and begging me to photograph my child body and post it for their sick perversion. Or even telling me sexual things relating to their genitals. Things like suck it, choke on it, sit on it, touch it, it's so hard, and so on. Once someone literally hid their dick behind a Cornetto because they wanted to "trick" me into looking at their video of them filming their penis. When I was a CHILD.

After I had been repeatedly sexually assaulted, I literally developed a phobia of penisses BECAUSE of all this abuse. And still the dickpics kept coming. This caused panic attacks, flashbacks, trauma episodes so severely that it caused me to hide me being a girl and also hide myself as a whole, not make friends, just lurk because I was so scared of being triggered again that I was essentially outcast.

You can't expect people to grow up and have this shoved in their faces the moment these sickos start looking at us like "fuckable girl" and have some of us NOT be traumatised by all of this. Good for y'all that a penis or a dick or whatever is a neutral body part. It's not for me. Because I've been violated time and time again by this body part. So, yes. My trauma is related to this body part. And I will never, ever see this as neutral. Simply because of the misogyny and sick perversion I've had to endure the moment these sick bastards realised I was a girl. I STILL refuse to go on certain social media sites as a woman because of dickpics.

And honestly? This whole movement is really damn tonedeaf. Because y'all know what the penis represents. Or rather, what cishet men want the penis to represent. How about we stop trying to put this blame on women, telling them to "unlearn"... when we should start at the damn source? People harassed by this behaviour aren't going to be neutral about it. Not until this shit stops. And I'm really tired of people acting like being traumatised by this makes you somehow the worst person on the planet when we are victims just the same. Maybe start with the people upholding this standard, and who are more than fine with traumatising people with that nonsense.

'Like that’s why trans women are abhorrent to both male chauvinists and radical feminists, because both groups have extremely strong feelings about what a penis represents and finds the conceptual and actual presence of a woman with a penis to be simultaneously vile and nonsensical.'

Yes, and why is that? Sure, there are people (I'm sure radfems too) who genuinely hate trans women that has nothing to do with sexual trauma, but let's not pretend that radfems and misogynists are coming from the same point of view here. And lumping that together is again, being ignorant on the issue here. And also, this reads victim blamey as hell. This isn't just about a penis on a trans woman. Because the majority of people who have these 'strong feelings' also have them when said genitals are attached to a man.

'... they've loaded so much symbolic baggage.'

Who the fuck is they? You think I do that for shits and giggles? This is really pointing fingers at this point, like, 'YOU ARE BAD FOR DOING THIS HOW DARE YOU' when so many people like me literally developed trauma because of something outside of our control. You think I like being traumatised by genitals? How does this somehow always come back to this same argument. This isn't about pre-op trans women. Using the word 'loaded' here really makes it seem as if we gleefully did this to ourselves.

'Anyway dicks are totally neutral body parts and seeing a dick, or a bulge in a swimsuit, or simply knowing that there’s a dick somewhere in the same bathroom as you isn’t harmful or violent'

Good for you that it isn't causing you harm! I'm glad you didn't develop trauma because of years of being assaulted and harassed. Genuinely, very happy for you. But maybe consider that not everyone has your experience and that until things change, not everyone is going to consider a penis a neutral body part and some people will be actively disgusted by them. Whether they're attached to a trans woman or a cis man.

Anyway, if people starting to see the penis as neutral is that important, maybe stand up for sexual assault survivors and try to find a way to stop us from being assaulted again instead of policing how people feel their trauma.

Trans women will never be free until people stop having strong emotions about penises. Like we, as a society, have got to stop caring about dicks! Dicks have to stop symbolizing maleness, obviously, but they also have to stop symbolizing power, dominance, sexual agency and aggression, violence, and even sex itself. Like trans women can’t be free if the very conceptual presence of a penis represents an intrusion(!) of unwanted(!) sexuality(!) in public life. Like that’s why trans women are abhorrent to both male chauvinists and radical feminists, because both groups have extremely strong feelings about what a penis *represents*, and find the conceptual and actual presence of a woman with a penis to be simultaneously vile and nonsensical because they’ve loaded so much symbolic baggage onto both women and penises.

Anyway dicks are totally neutral body parts and seeing a dick, or a bulge in a swimsuit, or simply knowing that there’s a dick somewhere in the same bathroom as you isn’t harmful or violent

[feynites]

I hope I'm not too late, but 1-7, 9, 13-18, 20-21 for TDWH Solas/Lavellan, please.

1. Howmy Muse acts differently around their love interest(s)

Well, for Lavellan this is mostly the same as it is for Kel in previous asks. She’s more open with her emotions and overall friendlier out of the gate. For Solas, his behaviour is more... conflicted, I suppose. He feels drawn in by Lavellan but also hesitant, for a lot of reasons, and his conflicted impulses towards honesty and secrecy give him emotional whiplash sometimes.

2. Whatmy Muse admires about their love interest(s)

Lavellan admires Solas’ desire to do good and fix things, even despite all the issues that have come from it. She also admires that he takes responsibility for his wrongdoings, although by that same token, she wishes he would carry on along that road and get to the point where he therefor stops trying to do most things on his own. Solas admires... man it’d probably be shorter to list what he doesn’t admire about Lavellan. Her tenacity, her compassion, her skill... he’s a big fan.

3. Whatsort of daydreams / stray thoughts they have about their love interest(s)

Lavellan’s tend to veer more towards the sorrowful in TDWH, because at first she doesn’t know if she’ll ever see Solas again, and then she finds out he’s the Dread Wolf, and that’s... complicated. She tends to hear his voice in her thoughts, when she’s not actively avoiding thinking about him. Meanwhile Solas’ sentimentality waxes more towards the ‘in another life’ type, where, should he indulge in daydreams, they will usually be about how much simpler all of this would be if only his life wasn’t an ever-increasing series of disasters.

4. Theirworries/insecurities regarding their love interest(s)

Lavellan’s chief worry is that Solas is going to get himself and everyone else killed. She’s somewhat more worried about him getting himself killed, though, because up until we tread into AU territory, she has more faith than him in the resilience of the world at large. Solas... is just a giant cauldron of issues, not limited to thinking he’s personally unworthy and also cursed.

5. Howthey express their interest/affection prior to a relationship

Conversation, and casual physical contact! Especially since this is mostly when Solas is a wolf, and therefore dog-like enough for casual cuddles. But they both like to talk, and share their thoughts, and try to work out problems via discussion, so that’s mostly the name of the game.

6. Howthey go about confessing their attraction

Well, normally, Lavellan is pretty straight-forward and prone to making impulsive gestures (like just kissing someone in the Fade), while Solas... doesn’t. As a rule. Obviously he’s made something of an exception in this case, so they go with Lavellan’s approach, for the most part.

7. Howthey respond to a confession of attraction

Lavellan just kind of like ‘yay it’s reciprocated!’ whereas Solas thinks himself in circles. And usually kisses her, too. He’s kind of bad at this, for all his smooth-talking.

9. Anyphysical/emotional/mental/spiritual feature(s) they find attractive

Both of them are kind of attracted to the same things. Spirit. Determination. Solas is drawn in by Lavellan’s resolve towards problem-solving, too, which he finds comforting even as he kind of disbelieves it. And Lavellan likes Solas’ softer points very much.

13. Waysmy Muse seduces (or tries to) their love interest(s)

Once the ball gets rolling, Solas is good at seduction. Secluded locations, subtle invitations, considerate overtures - he knows the elements that work, and how to balance them as best he can against any presumptions or inequities that might arise, so that Lavellan doesn’t feel trapped. Not that she generally goes anyway, barring certain AU’s. Her approach is usually more straight-forward and tactile, with certain kinds of looks, and touches, or even just blunt ‘let’s go have sex’ type propositions.

14. MyMuse’s attitude towards sex and when/how to bring it up with their partner(s)

Solas’ attitude towards sex has been, for a while, that he probably shouldn’t have it, because none of his potential partners would actually be able to freely consent to it. This has recently changed for him, so he’s shifted his approach somewhat towards ‘might be possible, but tread carefully’. Lavellan is also a big fan of communication, though she’s pretty good at reading non-verbal cues and situational context.

15. Thedifferences between lust and love for my Muse

I always have trouble with this question, because it seems like a pretty clear separation of categories to me? Lust is just wanting to have sex with someone. Both Solas and Lavellan are pretty good at ignoring that impulse, in and of itself, and both would probably tend to do just that. Their lives are complicated, and they come from positions of power and influence - albeit, no longer recognized in the timeline they’re occupying circa TDWH. Love is attachment, and connection, and a desire for more than just a roll in the hay.

16. MyMuse’s kinks and how they would bring them up to their partners), if at all

Ah... hmm. Well. Solas, provided he is not possessed by a malevolent Old God he’s fighting at every turn, mostly just has a praise kink and a thing for mutual enjoyment. Not terribly risque. Lavellan’s flexible and willing to try stuff out but she doesn’t exactly have a huge repertoire of kinks from the outset. So probably they would just be figuring stuff out together, as they went along, and if one of them wanted to try something, they’d talk about it. Possibly while in passionate embrace, possibly sometime before they stage, depending on how big of a deal the proposition would be compared to their usual activities.

17. MyMuse’s sexual fantasies regarding their partner(s)

Lavellan would probably like to top the heck out of Solas at some point. Just turn him into a veritable puddle of submissive orgasmic bliss. Solas... would not object. Though for the most part, their fantasies tend to run more towards the ‘what if we had normal lives, wouldn’t that be neat, what if we were just, like, bakers or something’ line of things. Like, even the sexy ones are probably a bit of ‘okay so I’m a humble blacksmith and you’re my neighbour who just ordered some new pots and pans, and we’ve been flirting on and off for months and things finally come to a head while you’re picking up your delivery and I go back home with you...’

18. Howmy Muse shows their love for their partner(s) non-verbally/through actions

Dramatic life-saving type things aside, Lavellan usually demonstrates her affection through sheer presence. She hangs around, offers physical contact, or reassuring words. That sort of a thing. Solas makes romantic gestures by way of artwork, a lot, and is similarly inclined to just kind of... hang out.

20. Anypet names my Muse has or would call their partner(s)

Apart from ‘vhenan’ or ‘my love’ type stuff, neither of them are prone to this.

21. Howmy Muse would comfort their partner

Solas usually starts with an apology, because whatever’s happened, there are good odds he feels responsible for it. Apart from that, he tries to find solutions. So does Lavellan, for that matter. Both of them are also good at the tactile approach, and will cuddle up in times of strife. Unless they’re sort of on the outs with one another, then they’ll stick to verbal stuff.