#There’s a very real possibility that none of this makes sense. It is the middle of the night and my brain is zooming

[calibrationneeded]

John dehumanizes Sam and Dean in different ways, but both in the way a solider would to keep a “level” head in a situation, which I think makes a lot of sense, as John was a marine.

Initially, he seems to view Sam as someone might view the “good side” in combat, something that needs to be defended even if it means laying down your life, but there’s no actual emotional connection, a soldier who loves this country doesn’t necessarily love the people. Later on after the demon blood incident it’s like a switch is flipped for John, and all the sudden he sees Sam almost as a traitor who needs to be taken out. It kind of makes me think of in zombie media when a character is turned and another one kills them without hesitation because it doesn’t matter if they used to be their loved one, they have to kill them for the greater good.

With Dean, he treats him kind of like a subordinate or fellow officer. He cares about him, but in the throes of what he sees as battle, if his comrade is taken out, he can’t always stop to save them, he would have to do what’s best for the greater good in the situation. He would feel sad if Dean died, but he would justify it by saying that, that’s the way war is, and that Dean was a martyr (as if Dean chose to be in John’s Sudo army). I think this is also why John is so aggressively hard on him because he doesn’t see him as his son, he sees him as a soldier who needs to be harped on.

This is also reflected in the canon because there are several times where a character will assume that Dean was in the military, and he will answer along the lines of that he did serve, but he’ll be vague. To be perfectly honest, Dean did essentially serve when it comes to the emotional toll, but he was never in an actual military position. 

“Even extreme grief may ultimately vent itself in violence--but more generally takes the form of apathy.” -Joseph Conrad (Heart of Darkness, 1899.)

[sagelasters]

scientific study on the void state

For decades, people have thought sleeping is a momental period or pause where both the body and mind is asleep. When I stopped remembering my dreams, I recalled seeing just pitch black in my sleep, and I never thought much about it until I started getting into the void and loa in general. It’s strange how my mind remembered those moments of nothingness and pure darkness, they were briefly short but I came to the conclusion that every single one of us has been in a void state. Whether or not you remembered it, maybe you do, maybe for a split second you were enveloped in pitch blackness till you woke up. Most of us brush off these strange phenomenals, but here’s the real question: Is it possible to be aware in your sleep? The answer is yes, our subconscious mind is fully awake even in your sleep. I think one of the most interesting scientific experiments I’ve read was an interview in 2022, it explores the ‘objectless awareness’ in our sleep. 

There were about 38 participants in the experiment, in which they were given a word to mentally spell and then they were interviewed based on that specific spelling. This is to measure participant’s memory accuracy, just to make sure they didn’t fabricate or make up any descriptions in the experiment. When participants pass the first round, they are given a survey if they have experiences of being conscious in their sleep. The result is that some participants recalled to lack any bodily sensations or imagery, one person reported that they lost the sense of being ‘themself’ but they identified as a ‘light’ or ‘orb’. Another person reported that after being in the state of nothingness, they were shaken up and brought to another ‘dream scenery’. Others recalled that their thoughts were completely non-existent in this state and they are aware of being ‘transitioned’ to what they called the ‘black spot’ and ‘nothingness state’. 

The chart summarizes what the participants experience in their sleep, the ‘nothingness phase’ seems to be the middle ground between regular sleeping state, to hypnagogia (transition between being awake and sleep, you experience sleep paralysis and muscle jerks in this stage). Most participants were unable to recall what happened after they transitioned out of the ‘nothingness phase’. The following is what they said:

Participant 1

"So, this sensation of nothing was letting me know that I was still in a dream, because I made the comparison to, I cannot feel any of my limbs. So, I know that I’m not just in bed right now with my eyes closed. Because none of my body’s there."

Participant 2

"I no longer have an idea of a body.. a dream body at that point. And then I [emphasis] became or was this just like this little ball of light, […]. So like I knew that the sphere of light was ME, but also like the light that was around the sphere was me, […] Once I become the sphere, you are asking if I have any body perception? I do not have any at that point […] having a dream body is just completely gone."

Participant 9

“And then, and then all of a sudden, there was just nothing I could not, I’ve gone from, from my body, I guess. And I’ve had other bodies before and this felt very, very, very different where I did not like there was no dream body, no dream scene. No, no ANYTHING. It almost seems like a form about a body. But it almost seems like you are, you are caught between, caught between somewhere where you are trying to get in and the physical, you are, you are somewhere else. […] And so, so I was able to feel that I guess.” 

Participant 8

“It’s more like I was the void. ”

Participant 12

" It’s just total darkness. And you…, there’s very little difference between you and what’s around you. ”

Well didn’t that blow your mind away? This probably raises more questions on more phenomenal that modern science has no idea about, considering the fact that we just discovered our sense of awareness is still on even in our sleep. 

Citation

Alcaraz-Sánchez A, Demšar E, Campillo-Ferrer T, Torres-Platas SG. Nothingness Is All There Is: An Exploration of Objectless Awareness During Sleep. Front Psychol. 2022 Jun 10;13:901031. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.901031. PMID: 35756253; PMCID: PMC9226678.

[marilynthornhilllover]

Can you please write rough smut for grey hair Emily Prentiss that’s just… total shameless filth😭 like choking, breeding kinks, semi public sex (in her office)

I could eat that girl for lunch

Emily prentiss x Fem!reader

Warning: smut 18+, breeding kink, semi public sex, breast kink, spitting kink, choking kink, praise kink, mommy kink, one slap, slight cunniligus, fingering, slight strap fucking, etc.

A/N: oh I lost it with this one🤭enjoy sorry it took so long 😭

You knew it was wrong to think of your boss Emily in such a way.... but God damn it. You just couldn't control yourself anymore. I mean come on she's the Emily prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, who wouldn't be obsessed with her, sorry in love with her. She was insufferable, almost irresistible like a drug. The way she would bite her lips when ever she laughed or was focused on something very important.

Or The way she held her hands in her pockets and stood against door frames or leaned against desks. The way her hips would sway whenever she struts down the hallway towards her office and finally, the way she looks at you. The way this woman would look at you was everything. Her eyes, they were always glued to you when you were busy doing your work. She thought you didn’t notice her but gaze detection is a real thing that works.

Emily would stare at you as if she wanted to devour you. And it always made you weak. It made your skin get heated and your mind go dizzy. You couldn’t focus when her eyes were on you, it was as if every cell in you wanted to explde. The time you wore a strapless shirt to work because it was too hot out, and for the entire day she couldn't find the decency to stop her eyes from roaming over your collarbone and shoulders, and the other time you wore a mini skirt and a top that had a zip in the middle that was pulled down just enough to see your cleavage. She went nuts.

Emily knew of your angel face, but she didn’t let that fool her. She knew you had dirty thoughts of her, you even went as far as making a dirty jokes about her. One time she overheard Jennifer asking you if you were to fuck anyone in the office who would you fuck and you had chosen 'Emily'.

You always had a thing for older women, and everyone in the office knew, so maybe it’s obvious that you had quite a massive crush on your boss as well. You heard rumors of Emily being “ talented” with her tongue and “skilled” with her fingers. You did have the privilege to meet one of Emily’s ex-girlfriends at a seasonal greeting event, and by her words “ Emily almost took her out of the world”.

You did try to do your work as best as possible and tried your very hardest to keep out of her way. And for some time it had seemed to work. Emily caught onto the drift and sensed that you were giving her the cold shoulder and the both of you stuck to strictly business and work professional procedures and encounters. But none of this stopped Emily from winking at you from time to time and even going as far as moving you aside by your waist using her hands when you were both in the kitchen getting lunch at the office.

Her hands in your waist sent electric shocks throughout your body, and each time she gave you a sly smirk. You did try to ignore her most of the time. And for a while it lasted.

So tonight you don’t know what possessed you to sneak into Emily’s office. There was a big case that was on the table and it required all hands on deck. You had decided to stay back and help Emily crack some codes but after half an hour in she left. It was pretty late, around 10:38 PM and you were exhausted. Your eyes flicked up to inspect your surroundings because sometimes people break into police departments to steal evidence.

That’s when you saw her that her office light was on and had decided to go turn it off and then after you would finish pack up and then leave . It wasn’t the first time being in her office, but it was the first time alone, by yourself….. with just her stuff. Her jacket was thrown on the back of her chair and a couple of her personal belongings sprawled out on her desk. You had already checked for cameras and any audio devices, there were none. So you took off your pants and panties, shirt and bra leaving yourself completely naked in your boss office.

Absolutely downright crazy, bat shit crazy. You sit in her chair and gently began fingering yourself at a slow pace, but quickly increased it as you became more desperate and needy. Your eyes were tightly shut closed, as your hand worked it’s magic down between your legs. All that can be heard was the wet sounds your cunt was making when you thrusted your fingers in your pussy, your weak hoasty moans and your loud and elaborate breathing as you neared your peak.

Your orgasm washed over you almost knocking you out of the chair and onto the floor causing you to topple over yourself . Your eyes hastily as you swallowed thickly and bit your lips.

“ well” a voice says, half disappointed half surprised. Your eyes snap up towards the entrance of the office to see Emily standing there. Her expression was unreadable. You felt all the blood drain from your face as your entire body freezes with both fear and shame. Emily smirked at you before she took a step into the room, closing and locking the door behind her ( you forgot to close the door?!) . She took slow strides towards the table as she pushed her hands into her pocket.

“ you know I really thought you were just a shy little good girl who knew her worth and knew how to ask for things…. But I guess I was totally wrong wasn’t I?” She asked, carefully walking around the desk, she stopped and stood in a position where she was pressing all her weight on one foot as she titled her head, inspecting you. She chuckled silently and further approached you.

“ could have fooled me babe” she says plainly, she then grabs you by your jaw and forces your face upwards to look at her. Still you remain frozen. A part of you couldn’t believe you had gotten into this situation and another part wanted to curl up into a ball and completely disappear for all eternity, never to be seen again.

“ look at you, I stood there for over 20 minutes, all in which you did nothing but fuck yourself senseless to the thought of me, don’t you see it now y/n your my slut” she says, purring the last two words, that may have reheated something in you because you need her all over again.

“ uh oh, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or did you lose your voice after screaming my name so loud? Oh Emily , fuck yes Emily, fuck me Emily” she mocked you and that’s when a realization of being naked hits you. You were completely bare before this woman. In her own office. Such a shame.

Emily’s eyebrow quirked in amusement as she looked at you shy away from her and look everywhere but into her dark eyes. She took the opportunity to look at your body intensely. With a silent hum her eyes wondered down your chest, stoping to look at your breast and how perked your nipples were. She then moved further down your body and her eyes landed on your vagina, from the way you were sitting she couldn’t see much but just the thought of fucking it got her going.

In one swift moment Emily grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto the desk. You whined at the sudden action and prompted yourself up onto your elbows to remove some objects from behind of your back before you proceeded to lay down. Your legs opened up involuntarily which caused Emily to smirk as she stood between them causing them to spread even wider. Regardless of your previous orgasm you were already so desperate for this woman’s touch.

Emily took off her jacket and soon everything else went with it. She was bare in just her pants alone. You wanted her to remove it but you were too mesmerized by her stern breast to give a shit. Her pants were high waisted but allowed you to see her toned abs a little. God you wanted her so badly. Your shaking hands made their way up to her skin and you gently placed your hand on her abs admiring them, god she must work out real good. For a moment you thought that you were lost in heaven until you felt her remove your hand.

“Getting touchy now are we? That’s slutty behavior” she laughed, she loved teasing you and seeing you squirm beneath her. This wasn’t the first time Emily had you under this choke hold. There were many other times where she was able to get under you skin….. but those are stories for another time. She leaned down and hovered her lips over your mouth, contemplating if she should give into you or let you go crazy over her some more. Even though Emily could see the pleading look in your eyes she knew better than to give the devil what she wanted.

Emily chuckled as she removed a strand of hair from your already sweaty forehead to behind your ear. Her hand stayed there, behind your neck, for a while her grasp tightening every few seconds which caused you to release a quiet moan from your throat. Emily looked down at you in deep thought before her eyes flicked down to your lips. Her thump caressed your jaw for a little while before she spoke.

“ open your mouth” her request definitely caught you off guard but the way she said it made your thighs clench but you remember that she was laying between them, making it hard to do so. You looked up at her confused as your breathing got shallow. You gulped and did as she asked. For a while she did nothing but then she opened her mouth and slowly poured her saliva into your mouth.

You were a little disgusted because back in high school you were always the one to say that you’d never allow anyone to do this to you but things have changed, it’s Emily fucking prentiss. Sorry. It’s mommy. And something about this just turned you on more because you could feel the slick that was pooling between your thighs from your pussy. Emily stopped and watched you close your mouth. She gave you a look and you knew what she was asking without words. You swallowed. She then started kissing you. It was rough but slow at the same time, she made you feel as though you had all the time in the world.

She broke the kiss before you even had a chance to deepen it as she moved down to your breast. She left pecks all across your chest, small sucks and bites that will most definitely leave marks later on, not that you care. She continued her assault until she moved down to your nipple. She swirled her tongue around the small bud first before she looked up at you with mischievous eyes before then enveloped the entire bud into her mouth. Your head fell back and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to just feel. She abused the small bud by gently biting it and sucking on it like a baby enjoying your moans.

Her hand fondled with the other neglected breast as the other made it’s s way down to your pussy, Emily knew you weren’t paying attention to her works so without notice she carefully pulled your lace pink panties to the side and inserted two fingers at the same time without warning. Your back arched as your eyes rolled back. Your hands immediately flew to the edge of the table for support. Emily smirked and released your nipple with a ‘ pop ’ sound as saliva made a bridge from her mouth to the bud to which she broke by licking her lips.

“ that’s it baby, just like that? You like when mommy gives you what you want without you having to ask her?” You couldn’t even respond to her, your mind was clouded with her insufferable praises, perfume and god did her fingers do a number on you. Everytime her digits slid out of you and back in her lips twitched. The sound of your cunt squelching against her fingers and your petty moans and grunts as your body began to spams made Emily want to do more despicable things to you until you couldn’t walk.

“ fuck so good, this is squeezing my fingers so fucking good baby, I wish I had a fucking real cock to split you open with, get you pregnant with my babies, you’d like that huh?” She whispered, increasing her pace as she curled her fingers deeper into you cunt, touching your g-spot every few seconds as she buried her fingers knuckle deep into you. You could feel your skin heat up as a familiar feeling of pleasure built up within your lower abdomen. Your hips bucked up towards every thrust of her fingers as your hand grabbed her wrist to slow her actions, you wanted to last longer to prove to her that you weren’t just some cum hungry slut. But that would be pointless because you are just a cum hungry slut.

But with her praises and her fingers moving at the speed of light it was truly impossible. You tried to pull it off a little longer but you couldn’t.

“ I feel you clenching me so tight baby, let it go for mommy, I wanna feel you drench my fingers so bad baby” she purred in your ear, her breath hot against your skin, and with that sentence you came for her. You eyes rolled back and you could feel your juices pouring out of you and onto her fingers. Emily kept fucking you drawling out every whimper, twitch and cry that you had to give. You were completely dumbstruck and spiraling.

You felt as she withdrew herself from between your legs as the sound of her jeans being removed. You stayed there trying to catch your breath. You looked down to Emily and that’s when you see her pulling off her pants completely, a strap around her waist. It was a clear light purple with small glitter pieces in it and it was huge. Without even realizing you tried to back away from her but Emily was two steps ahead, catching onto what your intentions were she pulled you back down by your ankles and forced your legs apart.

Emily placed her hands under your knees and pushed them up above your chest. You’ve never seen any strap that big or long and you anticipated how well she’d fuck you with it for your first time. It was as if you became a virgin again.

“ why are you running now darling? You wanted mommy to fuck you so badly when you were in here all by yourself. Your gonna take it like a good girl now” her tone was so dark and seductive it made your skin crawl and your insides burn with desire.

She pinned your hands above your head and slowly sank the tip of her cock into you forcing a moan out of you. Your eyes slammed shut as you tried to focus on the stretch, the way she made the pain and the pleasure mix so good. She let loose of your hands and gently started choking you. The deeper she buried herself within you the more your eyes would roll back and your legs would quiver. You desperate pleas of moans and cries filled the room as Emily started thrusting into you with full force. Deep and fast the tip bruising your sweet spot every time.

Emily angled her hips ever so slightly, just enough to push her cock up against your cervix. Gently at first, but when she heard the mewl that escaped your mouth at her action and the way your body convulsed it became rougher each time. You trembled as she kept thrusting into you.

“ oh— oh GOD— Emily please, fuck I can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE” you cried but it fell on death ears. You tried to close your thighs to eliminate how well her cock drives into you but Emily’s grip on your neck made you mind mush. Continuing your attempt you tried to move away from her but that resulted in you getting a hard smack across your face as she choked you much rougher. Her nails digged into the flesh out your waist as she started pounding your pussy brutally whispering insults that you couldn’t quite hear due to your moans and the sound of her thighs connecting with your slick.

“ fuck that’s it, right there? Mhm? Right fucking there” she cooed as she pushed your legs further apart and circled her hips as she made her thrust more curved. Your body began to tremble and Emily chuckled as she looked down at the white circle ring around her cock. She felt as your body tensed up and you let out a pornographic moan of her name. She kept thrusting after you came until you whined and pushed her away with a hand on her abs. She pulled out and kneeled down eye level with your cunt.

She cleaned up the mess with her tongue. Cautiously sucking and pulling at your clit until you pushed her head away. She smiled at her work and at herself and looked up at you. Your chest raised and fall with every breath you took and your thighs were still shivering. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before whispering.

“ round two? We’ve got all night and I’m sure i recall you saying your flexible….”

[ronwestbreeze]

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY | PART ONE : CHAPTER ONE

pairing: jake sully x human!fem!reader

summary: in which the story starts and finds you in a place of malevolence. a reluctant return to hell's gate leads you to meeting jake sully

warnings: none!

word count: 3.6k

author's note: finally posting this! there's no schedule for how i'm going to release these but i hope to be at least consistent! just no demanding me to post the next chapter or to finish, that doesn't help much with writing. anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

italics is speaking in na'vi

AO3 | masterlist | next

Powder covered your hands by the time the radio next to you came to life. Last time that radio came on, Dr. Grace Augustine had, very heatedly, called on you to fix one of the link units. Some genius had thought it was a good idea to kick at it in anger, knocking a few wires loose. Didn’t do any real damage but that guy never slipped into another link unit again. He’d have Grace to thank for that. And his temper.

That had been months ago. You hadn’t been back in Hell’s Gate since then.

Surprisingly enough, it was Trudy. “Hey, Doc. Mind comin’ to look at one of the computers in the lab? I think one of those science geeks broke a monitor or somethin’.”

Without looking up from your work, you reply, “Then buy a new one. My job is to fix shit, not consult about some stupid monitor.”

There were muffled voices further away as the radio cut in and out a few times. Seconds later, Trudy finally spoke again, “Uh, my bad, it’s not a monitor. It’s some….uh…power box, I guess. Glitched out on the geeks, now they don’t have power in a few of the computers.”

It took a moment for you to respond. Both because of the weak radio signal in the middle of the forest and because you had to take a few moments to program your newly robotic arm helper to finish off your new invention, which you had been working on for nearly half a year now. Project Pandora is what you called it.

“Trudy,” you finally say, picking up the radio and pushing the chair away from the desk and toward the small window on the other side of the little space, “why are you, a pilot no less, asking me about computers in a lab?”

There is a hesitant silence on the other end. But after listening closely, you realized there was another muffled conversation going on further away, one that the radio couldn’t really pick up.

Eventually, Trudy’s voice reached the radio again. “I told you she’d see right through it.” It sounded as if she was talking to someone and that someone was muttering something further away from the radio. Trudy sighed before continuing, “Look, Doc. I’m gonna be blunt with you. Parker’s too much of a pussy to do it himself so he got me in here to reach you.”

You clicked your tongue, “Why am I not surprised.”

“He’s scared of you.”

“More than Grace?”

There were louder muffles, almost audible if not for the static from the radio. “Parker wants you back at the gate…and to tell you that he’s not scared of you.”

After a while, the radio finally cut off and you sat there. Outside the little window was the forest of Pandora, your view for the past few months. And really, you would like to keep it that way from now on. Being away from Hell’s Gate has brought you a sense of peace and a sense of forgetting. Although, the forgetting was harder said than done.

No matter what you did, there was nothing that could make you forget what these humans were doing to Pandora, what they planned to do, what they already had done. It was a bunch of bullshit really. The RDA complained that they weren’t making any progress with the Na’vi, the people of  Pandora, while at the same time attacking them and threatening to take over the land by wiping out the indigenous.

You had come here to learn about this species and quite possibly one day live among them, not take over. Which is why you separate yourself from Hell’s Gate after the incident. But it seemed no matter what you did to keep away from them, somehow you were always brought back in.

It had to be him behind it. That man was stubborn enough to keep you in his control just as you were stubborn enough to find any way to stay far away from that place.

“Doc?” Trudy’s voice came in through the radio. With a frown, you looked back at your robotic arm and the invention, deep in thought. “You there?”

With a sigh, you replied, “There’s no other engineers up there? Mechanics?”

“Most of them are workin’ on those AMPs. Parker wants you. The best of the best, you know?”

You frown, “Doesn’t sound as great as it did years ago.”

“Don’t think too much about it. You’ll be in and out. Then you’ll get to go back to your little lab in the woods and stay secluded like the hermit that you are.” Trudy teased in an attempt to lighten your mood. And you did try to smile at the joke, just a little bit, but the thought about going back, about stepping your foot back into that place, somehow he’d win.

“I could say no.” You try, even though you were getting up and sliding your boots on. “Tell him to find some other unfortunate engineer to do his shit.”

“You could.” Trudy agreed. “That would definitely make Parker pop a vein. But if we sent in someone else that isn’t you, it sure as hell wouldn’t get done quickly or right. So there’s that.”

“Hmm, I’d say let them rot.” You grumble as you grab your mask and place it on your face.

Trudy laughed on the other end as you stepped out of the lab. The air was fresh on your skin but poisonous to your lungs. Still, it did feel somewhat nice stepping out of your stuffy lab for once. Being surrounded by beautiful forest. The beauty of Pandora still never failed to amaze you despite your grim attitude as of lately. There was something so special about this planet, something you never felt on your home planet, Earth.

You just wished the circumstances were different.

“You’re a genius, Doc.” Parker praised as you closed the power box.

“Is that all?” You asked dryly, rolling your sleeve back down as you began leaving the dark room.

The administrator followed after you as you sauntered through the halls, ready to go back to the forest and your private lab. “Yeah, well, I believe that should be all. I knew you could do it the best too, my guys are useless when it comes to this stuff.”

“Stop kissing ass, Selfridge.” Both you and Parker turned to find Grace waltzing down the hall toward the two of you. A smirk was on her lips when her eyes landed on you. “Tinkers! Never thought I’d see you come out of your little hole. How long has it been? Three? Four months?”

Despite where you were, you gave a small smile, “Hi Grace.”

Parker excused himself immediately much to your relief, going back to his usual spot, which was overseeing all the link units of the Avatar Program. You raised your brows at how quickly he left but you figured it was mostly because he didn’t want to hear Grace go on and on about the beauties of Pandora. Parker was the type of guy who only cared about what profited him the most. And the last thing he wanted to hear was how innocent everything was. Would make him lose track of the most important goal.

And for that, you despised that man. Parker must’ve sensed your dislike for him and found it intimidating, especially when it came to calling on you for favors such as fixing an electric power box.

Behind her were three other men. One of which you knew by Dr. Patel, the other two you guessed were new.

Grace crossed her arms, not bothering to introduce the two other males behind her as she spoke in a lowered voice, “Coming back this time around?”

You shook your head, “No. Just here for a small fixer upper. I should be heading back soon actually.”

“You sure?” Grace then gestured to the two behind her, giving you an exasperated look, “Could really use someone familiar out there. To the land and the people.” You didn’t respond right away which the scientist noticed. “Forget about Quaritch, you know you want to get back out there. Your avatar’s waiting—”

“Who's the newbies?” You addressed Dr. Patel, earning a glare from Grace at your efforts of quickly changing the conversation. It was something you definitely weren’t going to discuss here and especially in front of the new people who were watching the two of you a little too closely for your liking.

Dr. Patel smiled at you in greeting before gesturing to the two other men. “This is Norm Spellman, our new biologist for the team. Fellas, this is Dr. Y/N L/N, our best engineer at RDA.”

The tall lanky one stepped forward and offered his hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Doctor, I’ve actually heard a lot about your work here. Well, your mother’s work, I should say.” Grace rolled her eyes as you tried not to wince at the mention of your mother. But of course, Norm didn’t notice and kept going, “Also, very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a brilliant mind, the best of our kind—”

“Alright, Spellman.” Grace gave him a pointed look before nodding over to the man in the wheelchair, “You remember Tom Sully? Well, this is his worse half, Jake Sully. He’s unfortunately replacing Tom in the program.”

“Thank you for that, Gracie.” Jake retorted just as quickly.

“Fuck off.” Grace glared and nudged your side. “Ignore him, I do.”

Yes, you did hear about this. Tom’s unfortunate death led them to scramble for a quick replacement. You never met Tom yourself so you never had much of an attachment to him. Neither did Grace but you could tell that wasn’t the only thing annoying her. If you had to guess, Jake was probably drastically different from his late brother and Grace didn’t have much patience for that.

Still, you offered him a kind smile. “Ma’am.” He nodded to you, offering his own hand which you shook.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sully.” You glanced from a pensive Grace to Jake. “I imagine you know a lot about the program similar to your brother.”

Jake tilted his head, “I watched a Netflix special once.”

Grace scowled, Dr. Patel coughed to cover a smile, and Norm shifted on his feet awkwardly, watching the two of them.

You found yourself grinning for the first time in a while., “I don’t know, Augustine. I kind of like him. “

Grace rolled her eyes, “Whatever. We’re heading over to the link units. It’s about time the two of you get acquainted with your avatar form.” She then addressed you but in Na’vi surprisingly. “And when will you bring out yours? Don’t try to change the subject this time, Tinkers.”

Feeling Jake’s curious and confused gaze on the two of you, you answer in a quick hiss, “Drop it.” Then you turned to Jake and smiled, “S’ nice to meet you, Mr. Sully—”

“Jake.” He nodded toward you with a little smile of his own. “You can call me Jake.”

Your smile grew, “Alright, Jake. Welcome to Pandora.” She pointed at Grace with her thumb, “Don’t let her ruin the experience, yeah? She can be a little twitchy sometimes.”

“Go back to your hole, Tinkers!” Grace called over her shoulder as she continued down  the hall with Norm and Dr. Patel following after her.

“Right up your ass, Augustine!” You shot back with a smirk before sending Jake a wink.

Jake, despite his previous stoic expression, found himself grinning at you. “Nice to meet you, L/N.”

“Y/N.” You corrected, moving around him to head the opposite direction. “Or Doc, either way, don’t be so formal. Especially with me.”

He nodded, “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

With that, you watched as he rolled away in the direction the others went. Once the company was gone, your shoulders sagged a bit, slightly exhausted from the small interaction and because of the busy environment of Hell’s Gate as you made your way out of it.

Just as you were about to reach outside and grab your mask, one of the soldiers, Wainfleet, blocked your exit while sitting in one of those AMPs.

“Doc! Leaving so soon?” He grinned down at you.

“Move, dipshit.” You say bluntly, gripping the mask in your hands while glaring up at him.

He shrugged, grinning cockily down at her. “Can’t do that, Doc. Colonel heard you crawled out of your little hole you’ve been hiding in the past few months. He wants to see you.”

“Tell him to eat shit, ya know, like in all the messages I replied to.”

When you tried going around him, he stepped in your way, aggravating you more.

“Look, cupcake. We could either do this the easy way or the hard way. Easy way, you go and see Colonel yourself or hard way I drag your tiny ass over there.”

At this point, the more you gripped at the mask, the more it was possible it could break in your grasp. So you hooked your mask back onto your belt, seething eyes never leaving Wainfleet. It was possible to shut down the AMPs in your current height. You’d done it before but it was with someone who lacked experience controlling those things.

Wainfleet on the other hand was often training himself in them, which would lead to a more difficult and quite possible deadly attempt at escape.

Which meant, unfortunately, you didn’t have much of a choice.

With your dignity burying itself into the ground, you followed Wainfleet further into the Armor Bay where multiple more AMPs were lined up along with the ships and planes the pilots controlled.

When you arrived at the small gym room where Quaritch was currently benching, Wainfleet left you alone but you didn’t move to further enter the room. All you did was scowl and stand in the doorway with crossed arms, waiting for him to acknowledge you.

And you knew he knew you were there.

“I was wondering when we’d get the chance to talk again.” Quaritch finally said, putting down the weights as he sat up. He grabbed a towel next to him and began wiping the sweat off his sweat. “Are you finally done with your tantrum?”

He wanted you to snap, rise to the provoking. But you remained silent, your jaw clenching just a bit as your eyes narrowed in on him. Quaritch was watching you closely as well, probably waiting for you to react.

“Ah, the silent treatment. Guess I should’ve expected that too.” He threw the towel to the side before looking up at you with a smirk. “Thought you made a vow never to set foot in here again. Made a whole dramatic scene about it too—”

“What do you want?” You ask simply.

Quaritch now scowled at your indifference or rather rebellion, you couldn’t really tell. “I want you to get your act together. I don’t have time for you throwing fits like a child because you don’t get your way. This is a mission, Doc, and your job is to—”

“My job was to help the people.” You hissed, stepping only a few feet into the room. “To build a connection with them. That was your orders. That’s what you asked me to do. And what does the RDA do? Fuck it all up by shooting a bunch of Na’vi, leaving them for dead!”

Quaritch rolled his eyes, “You’re still on that?”

You seethed, “You don’t even understand what you did! You would think thinking smartly would crossed your thick fucking skull—”

“That’s enough from you!” He barked in his Colonel voice. “Disrespect me like that again and I will boot you right off of this planet as fast as I got you on it, you hear me?”

“Do it then.” You challenged, hands shaking from anger. “You’ve had plenty of times to get rid of me. If you find me so much of a problem, why am I still here?”

You half expected him to keep shouting at you, yell at you into submission like he does his subordinates. But instead, Quaritch chuckled as he stood up. “Moments like this, you remind me of your father. Good man, acted just like you. Which was what made him the best soldier. Which made him a good captain.”

He was changing the conversation, he was trying to have power over you without being forthright about it. He had done this before whenever you tried arguing, it was his way of shutting you down without getting into a fight.

“You’re a smart cookie, Doc. And I know you’re smart enough to realize your value to this team. To the program.” He flashed his white teeth at you. “You and I both know I can’t get rid of you that easily. And I won’t. I made a vow after all.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering just where this conversation was going. Every time he brought up that damned vow it usually was followed by something for her to do. A favor. Something to keep her distracted.

“So let’s put the whole past to rest—”

“I rather not—” Quaritch cut you off just as fast as you did.

“And focus on the current future. Have you met Corporal Sully?”

You frown, suddenly remembering Jake’s charming smile. “What, he’s your new little puppet now?”

Quaritch wasn’t phased by the comment as he sat back down on the bench, “He’s got promise that kid. I tasked him to get to know the Na’vi people and learn their ways, to gain information for me.” You scoffed in disbelief as he continued. “Since you’re so well versed in their culture, I want you to give him some pointers. A tutor if you will.”

“Like hell I will—”

“And yes, you can decline.” Quaritch began lifting the weights again, “And then the RDA can take your little secluded lab away, destroying everything you’ve worked on. I’m sure that would be smart.”

This was where you had to control yourself. Your reaction. Your anger. You remembered a certain project that you were just nearly done with. Something you had been working on dedicatedly ever since the incident. If Quaritch or any of the RDA were to discover it, you were sure you would be exiled back to Earth.

Or quite possibly killed.

“What do you say, kid?” Quaritch noticed your silence.

With a scowl, you gritted out, “Fine.”

From the bench, the Colonel grinned, “Good girl! Now we can really get to work!” He placed the weight back down and stood, “Let’s go tell Sully the good news.”

When arriving in the link room, you lingered behind while Quaritch approached one of the link beds that was just opening. Jake happened to be in that one as he sat up, immediately spotting the Colonel walking toward him.

“Sir.” Jake greeted, briefly glancing your way for a moment longer before turning back to the Colonel.

Quaritch nodded in greeting and gestured to you, “I assume you’ve already met, Dr. L/N, the best of the best in the Avatar Program.”

“What do you want, Quaritch?” Grace cut in as she pushed open her own link bed. She noticed the angered look on your face and raised her brows, silently questioning you.

“She’s going to be showing the ins and outs of the Na’vi, she’ll give you some pointers to better prepare yourself for the program.” Quaritch winked as he clapped his hand on your shoulder. “You do best following her lead, might keep you alive, Corporal.”

Jake nodded, eyes alight, “Will do, sir.”

Quaritch’s grip on your shoulder tightened, “Take care of our boy, will you, Doc.”

Carefully, you reply, “He’s in good hands…sir.”

Grace narrowed her eyes at you while Jake frowned, finally noticing your change in behavior compared to your earlier brighter demeanor.

Satisfied, Quaritch gave you another rough pat on your back before leaving you with Grace, Jake, and as soon as he came out of his link bed, Norm.

“Tinkers.” Grace brought your attention back to her. She gave you a meaningful look before speaking in Na’vi, “What happened?”

Instead of responding to her, you nodded toward the three with an impassive expression, “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

You needed some time away, to calm down, to reevaluate some things. If only you had left as quickly as you had planned to, none of this would have occurred. You wouldn’t be feeling so helpless right now as you stalked through the halls, practically glaring at everything around you. At this rate, you wished that bastard dropped you back on Earth. At least you would be far away from this shit.

“Hey, Doc!”

A part of you wanted to just keep going and ignore Jake Sully when he called for you. But you stopped anyway despite yourself and turned to find him rolling toward you.  He stopped a few feet away from you, frowning at your guarded behavior. “I know I’m not well informed about all of this the way you’d like but I’m sure I can catch on fast—”

“Let’s get one thing very clear, Sully. I know you’re working with Quaritch. I know you’re planning on lying to them, gaining information for him to use or whatever the hell he’s planning. I don’t want any part of it.” You shoved your hands into your pants pockets glaring at the surprised man. “You’ve aligned yourself with a dangerous man, Sully. I hope you understand what you’re doing here.”

Just as you turned to walk away, Jake called out to you again, “So is that your advice then? As my tutor?”

 “No. Not all of it.” You glanced over your shoulder at him and shrugged, “Try not to die, Jake.”

taglist: @luvvfromme @sully-stick-together @dazedshoon

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Little random, but you've answered asks about Disney Princess movies before a while ago.

What are your thoughts on Frozen and Anna and Elsa?

Thoughts on Frozen

People like it, but to me it's a thoroughly "ok" film. It's far from Disney's best, not one of the worst, but sort of middle of the road. The plot's a giant mess and was clearly subject to last minute revisions (Hans's sudden villainy comes across as so sudden that it fails to make the point it was trying to make. It wasn't necessary, as the point Elsa makes isn't invalidated even if he wasn't evil and Anna still could have dropped him at the end. And we just get this "YOU FOOL, DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WAS THE MUSTACHE TWIRLING VILLAIN ALL ALONG?!" To which I can only say, "No, Hans, I didn't know that, kind of makes that scene where you left the castle to look for Anna personally very pointless. Nobody would have questioned you, dude." It makes a lot more sense when you consider Elsa was supposed to be the antagonist/misguided in initial drafts and the then desperate need for somebody to be the bad guy.)

Tangled, by comparison, is a much more put together film and in my opinion is much better, but it didn't have a hit song sung by Idina or Anna's adorable nerdiness and Elsa's general angst.

So Frozen gets to be the beloved film for over ten years on, rejuvenating the Disney brand for another generation, and I just have to sit there and take it.

(Perhaps a hot take, I'm not tuned in enough to know, but I thought Frozen 2 was much better as a film in general, much more put together/hard hitting, though it had far less memorable music/the big numbers just weren't as good. It's also a lot more hard-hitting, with none of the comedy and very little of the narrative of empowerment.)

Anna and Elsa

I do like these two and they're very believable characters who do go through character development that feels very real.

In Anna we have an isolated, awkward, young adult who is convinced that 'love' will save her, doesn't know where she stands with what was once a beloved older sister, and when she fucks things up tries to fix it without really addressing the issues she had in the first place until the very end of the movie.

She's fun, she's relatable, if short-sighted and naive, and it's clear that she does have to learn something from her adventure, and that she really didn't understand her sister and what she was going through.

In Elsa, we have someone who has been under immense pressure her entire life while also knowing that she has this terrible secret which means she will never live up to what she has to be to rule a nation. She ends up isolated from her younger sister out of terror of hurting her, which damages their relationship, and she too has growth where when we first meet her in the film, she sees coronation as only a one-day event she has to simply get over with as quickly as possible.

She's also a very relatable character, her struggle is something that speaks to a lot of people and has been iconic for over a decade for a reason, and she's refreshing in that her problems despite being a female lead have nothing to do with men and a man never enters the picture for her.

Even her moment of "WHEEEEEEEE I'M FREEE!" to Anna arriving and "NOOOOOOOOOO! ALL MY ACTIONS HAD TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES!" is a great one as Elsa is only then really forced to confront both herself, her loved ones, and finally accept who she is by the end of the film.

TL;DR

Basically, I like both characters and I think people really like them for a reason.

But I do think the movie's a hot mess.

[bettsfic]

one of the things that really stuck with me about The Bikeriders is that it's all about performative toxic masculinity, but there's no womanizer character. not a single guy who picks up women for the fun of it. there's also no casual, unquestioned infidelity, which is a staple of dudebro narratives. like obviously the badass leader guy is going to have a woman on the side, and both his wife and myriad girlfriends will just be set pieces for him with no characterization whatsoever.

on my first watch i just assumed Johnny has a wife at home and a girlfriend in the club, but then i realized the woman hanging all over him during the picnics is his wife (Betty), as evidenced by this pic from VANDALS, the photobook of the shooting of the film.

sorry for the poor quality. this is a picture of a picture.

the implication here is that Betty is supportive of the club (if not Johnny himself, as we see near the end), at least more so than Kathy, who only dresses in bikerider attire for [spoilers redacted].

it's possible in the present timeline of the film that both of their daughters have grown up and moved out. we see Johnny watching The Wild One on television, a film released in 1953, and two girls run behind him, maybe around 10 years old. the timeline of the story begins in 1963, and the last we see of Johnny's home life is 1971. by all means, their daughters might be in their 20s. in some ways, The Bikeriders is a story of middle-aged boredom.

in multiple instances, we see physical affection between married couples. Benny and Kathy, Johnny and Betty, and Brucie and Gail are all depicted at least once snuggled up beside each other. in many films, if a man is both married and faithful, we see him be at the very least physically neglectful, never touching his wife in a loving way. conversely, we never see men receiving real affection, either, unless it's been earned through the intense action of the film. and even then, it's often something he takes, not something he's given.

i was also surprised by Benny and Kathy's relationship, which i assumed would go south asap, given the intensity of it. and although there's plenty of tension between them, none of it is of the "i fell out of love with you, i regret marrying you" variety of angst. they fall in love and stay in love. and they have problems, but losing interest in each other is not one of them.

i find it very funny that Benny remains covered in dirt even when it makes no sense to be.

to me these are all markers of a story that's about toxic masculinity rather than operating from within toxic masculinity. when we're in a toxically masculine story, we're meant to buy into the fantasy of that masculinity. the protagonist is an ideal, a man who fucks around with any woman he looks at and wins fights and becomes a hero. in The Bikeriders, though, we see from the outside that Johnny is trying to craft that impossible fantasy for himself. he's performing the man he wishes he could be and it's making him miserable. and he tries to put that burden on Benny, who refuses it. Benny is his fantasy. conversely, Johnny is Benny's. they have the other on a pedestal of a male ideal that's impossible to achieve.

in this era of American history, we see increasingly intense narratives of heroism. by the 70s, the sons of WWII veterans had grown up. many men of that time looked up to their fathers as war heroes, fighting on the right side of one of the worst wars in the history of humanity, and winning. but those men were then given the Vietnam War, which arguably had no right side, no front, and no land lost or gained. most importantly, it had no clear beginning or ending*. no closure, no resolution. even outside of war, in industry the task of making something became narrower as merchant trades veered toward assembly line production rather than craftsmanship. Benny refuses to step up in part because he belongs to a generation of men who see no real fruits of their labor. conversely, Johnny is witnessing the slow degradation of honor that comes as a result of losing the concepts of resolution and completion.

*the Fall of Saigon marked the end of the Vietnam War, but by then Nixon had pulled out all US troops.

i keep reading these shallow reviews of The Bikeriders, and they're positive but they don't seem to really get it. like The Holdovers, i think so much of the nuance and meaning comes from the historical context of the action of the film, which can't really be elaborated on (you can only do so much in two hours), and so it's depicted in these broad strokes of cultural knowledge, much of which is either that the Vietnam War is simply a thing that happened, or information that is flat-out wrong. i mean, there were like 18 possible sides to this war and you can't read a single fact about it without having to analyze or consider the side it's writing from. even wikipedia is full of subtle rhetoric that indicates sympathy toward one side over the other.

people ask me a lot, "why are you researching the Vietnam War?" and the answer is that it's everywhere. its failure is woven into the fabric of American identity. it changed the very definition of masculinity, and being as we are in a patriarchal hegemony, that new definition has in turn affected everybody else. whenever i talk to any American around my age about the Vietnam War, they've got a story about it. either their father/grandfather was there or he wasn't. if he was there, that's a story. if he wasn't, that's a story too.

many of us in our 30s and 40s and 50s are gaining the expertise and audience to begin telling these stories, in an attempt to answer the question of what even happened back then, and why were our parents so cruel, and why is everyone so miserable now? and we find ourselves on impossible pedestals handed down to us from a generation defined by failure and loss.

[lacroixqueen]

embers and earth ch. 1 (zuko x jin angst)

Summary: jin finds out "lee" is actually firelord zuko, the new leader of the fire nation. angst and mental breakdown ensues

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: zuko x jin

Tags: angst, jealousy, yearning, prince x peasant

Author's Note: this was inspired by fan art but I for the life of me cannot find the artist's name just if you are out there just know you inspired this fic so thank u :v

Jin was absolutely furious the day that she found out. 

She remembered being over the moon the night before when the Earth King announced that the Hundred Year War was finally over. That the fire nation inherited a new leader who would forge peace between all four nations at long last. She recalled sleeping a little bit more deeply that night. A sigh of relief. A breath of fresh air. 

She even had a pep in her step when she ambled into the main marketplace of the Lower Ring in the morning. For the first time in her life, she didn’t need to worry about her safety. She remembered having to escape with her family when fire nation soldiers attacked her village when she was only a little girl. The fear in her father’s eyes. Her mother holding her tight and telling her not to make a sound when she cried. 

But today was a new day. A fresh start. 

She was picking out the ripest cabbage in the stall when she noticed a couple of Dai Li agents putting up posters around the square. She swore to herself she saw a glimpse of a face that looked all too familiar for comfort. She almost didn’t want it to be true. Because if it was, it would confirm too many questions she would stay up asking herself over and over again. 

A small crowd was already beginning to form around one of the posters. She eventually elbowed her way through and made it to the very front. And there it was. 

Firelord Zuko. Future of the Fire Nation. Forging an era of peace. 

Except it wasn’t “Zuko”, or whoever that was. It was Lee. The boy with the scar from the tea shop. She reached out reluctantly, as if she touched the poster he would come walking off the page. She placed the tips of her fingertips over the purple scar that ran across his triumphant face. 

But it’s not possible. Lee said he was of the Earth Kingdom. A traveling circus, was it? Now that she thinks of it, it did sound a little bit too barbaric to be real. But none of that mattered. 

She was fascinated by him. She hung onto his every word. Even though it’s not like he had much to say in the first place. 

After their date, she remembered how excited she was to see him again. She planned out an entire day with him in her mind, replaying the scenarios in her dreams like she was the director of a play. She recalled feeling a bit ridiculous about it, like some giddy fangirl. But she didn’t care. She had never wanted anything more in her life. 

But surprise quickly melted into confusion, which devolved into anger. 

How could he? she thought to herself, trying to piece together the puzzle but it still didn’t make any sense. 

The last time she tried to reach out to him, she burst through the doors of the tea shop, wearing her heart on her sleeve and ready to confess her undying love to him, without so much of a care in the world. But he was gone. In the blink of an eye, tossed away into the wind. 

“Where did he go?” she asked one of the workers, almost dissociated from reality. 

“To the Upper Ring,” he replied, sweeping some dust out of a corner. “His uncle got a job offer to run his own tea business. The Jasmine Dragon, was it? Yeah something like that.”

She felt her own blood run cold. She would only ever occasionally venture up to the Middle Ring, but Upper? She wouldn’t stand a chance. She would be ushered out as quickly as she came in. Not to mention she had no idea where this new store was even located. 

She was inconsolable for several days, of course, but in the back of her mind she knew she couldn’t cry forever. Because time heals all wounds, as her mother would say. 

And she eventually moved on, even though there was always longing within her that she could never quite shake. An ache that pulsated every time she remembered that she would most likely never see him again. 

Her thoughts were beginning to spiral at a rate of a million miles per second. Was he lying to her that entire time? Was that what he meant when he said “it’s complicated”? 

She paused, her entire body frozen. 

Was that how he lit up the lanterns at Firelight Fountain?

She couldn’t even process what was happening, but next thing she knew, she had already scrunched up that stupid poster, much to the crowd’s bickering and dismay, and shred it all up into several pieces. 

Tears were beginning to bud at the bottoms of her eyes. So that’s it. He was a firebender this entire time. But why lie about it? Why keep something so important from her, when he knew how much the fire nation had hurt her family.

Why was she acting like some sort of dramatic schoolgirl? It’s not like they were officially together or anything. It was just one silly date. Why did it mean so much to her anyway?

She walked briskly home, attempting, but failing horribly to conceal her tearstained face.

She opened the door to her modest home, without even bothering to close it gently, and stormed up the stairs to her bedroom. 

“Jin, were you able to get the vegetables I needed?” her mother called from the kitchen but she wasn’t even able to muster up a response. 

She flung herself onto the cot splayed out in the middle of the floor, grabbing her pillow and holding it close to her chest. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid, she kept telling herself. Why did she care so much anyway? It doesn’t even matter. None of it. 

Lee or Zuko, what difference did it make? 

He was still going to be a million worlds apart. Whether that was the Jasmine Dragon in the Upper Ring or the palace in the Fire Nation. 

She could weep and yearn for her entire life, and then what? He would just descend into the dilapidated shacks of the Lower Ring and sweep her off her feet? She knew the chance of that happening was zero to none. So why hope? Why cling onto this tiny shred of faith that had no meaning otherwise?

She played with the thought a little bit, after all, she was a hopeless romantic at heart. But the fantasy dissipated as quickly as it formed. 

It’s best to forget any of this ever happened, she decided for herself after an entire afternoon of contemplation. There’s no use in staying in the past. Besides, he probably never thinks of her these days. He’s busy running his own country, and creating a new era for the world. 

After all, why would some Earth Kingdom peasant ever cross the firelord’s mind?

[ingravinoveritas]

What do you make of David sayin he’s an ally, not an active participant (in queer subcultures)?

Did he come out as straight? I’m not sure anyone has ever asked him directly, not that he needs to give any explanations, I’m just curious because he gives off such a queer vibe even when he’s been married forever.

https://www.attitude.co.uk/culture/david-tennant-on-the-spice-girls-spiceworld-movie-was-being-developed-before-they-even-released-a-single-459815/

Oh, my Asks/DMs have been blowing up over this one. I did have a chance to read this interview with David (is it me, or is he doing nonstop press lately?) and...wow. Definitely enjoyable, and noticeably more unhinged/queer than most of his other interviews (which makes sense, given that Attitude is an LGBTQ-focused publication). But let's get a screenshot up of the most talked about bit, so we can discuss:

Obviously there is a lot going on here, so I'm just going to go with what stood out to me most. I don't think there is anything in the world less surprising than David naming bears first, given certain preferences of his (which I've discussed several times previously on my blog).

What's really interesting though is that the question was asking about queer subcultures, but all of the ones David listed are used primarily (AFAIK, though someone please do correct me if I am wrong) in mlm/gay male relationships. "Queer" can be many things, after all--gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, ace--and yet when David heard "queer subcultures" he specifically went for the mlm/gay ones, and that definitely feels like an interesting choice.

The second thing that I felt was worth discussing is that a lot of the reactions I've seen to this is people saying how adorably clueless David is, or how "he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit." And I'm sort of perplexed by this because we are talking about an almost 53-year-old man here, and I believe he knows damn well what all of those terms/subcultures are.

It's been brought to my attention (from what I would consider a very trustworthy source) that David is not at all as technologically illiterate as he pretends to be. Instead, it's actually part of a persona that he puts on to avoid dealing with issues that would arise from people knowing he is online. I had an inkling of this just from Georgia saying David was the one who set up all the equipment for when they filmed Staged at home (because why would such a task be put in the hands of someone who is hopeless with technology?). But having this confirmed also aligns with David creating a fake personal assistant in the early days of his career so he wouldn't have to fulfill certain social obligations, and to put a barrier between his real self and the world.

So why, then, wouldn't the same pattern possibly apply here?

I know there also tends to be this image of David as a "bumbling, goofy dad" type, and that's definitely part of him and what makes him so charming. But I don't think he is a fool, either--especially not after listening to him talk about Shakespeare or politics or anything else at length--and I think he certainly knows how to answer these types of questions. I think David is more than clever enough to give answers that are cheeky but not revealing, because he knows the purpose of all this is to promote the BAFTAs, not to be a deep, probing exposé on the life and times of David Tennant.

Which then brings me to the big, gay elephant standing in the middle of the room--a.k.a., "I'm an ally rather than an active participant." (Again...so many interesting word choices going on here, and none of it feels like an accident.)

Going back to what I mentioned about the focus of these interviews, I'd like to point out one notable thing that David himself said in the Radio Times interview earlier this week:

This, I think, sums up what we are seeing in all of these interviews: The version of David that he feels is safe to present to the world. He makes it clear as well that he is not going to reveal areas of his personal life while up on stage, and I would say that the same thing applies to these interviews. (It also speaks volumes that in the year 2024, the version of himself he feels safe presenting in these interviews is one who fully knows what bears and twinks--sorry, twinkies--are.)

So no, I don't think David is coming out as straight. I don't think he's coming out as anything, in fact, because he knows these interviews are not the place for that to happen. And I think that saying he is an ally but not an active participant makes the most sense as an answer for a public interview, but neither that nor being in a straight-passing relationship necessarily makes him any less potentially queer.

To reiterate what I said above, there is no one way to be queer. For some people, being queer absolutely can mean going to leather bars and participating in subcultures. But for other people, "queer" can mean something very different. It can mean being a Kinsey 2 just floating along doing your thing until you meet that one person who changes everything. The person who makes you go, "I've usually been more into this and not as much into this...but I'm definitely into you." It can mean being attracted to/falling for someone--a co-star, maybe?--that you never expected to feel that way about. And if David is queer, maybe that also means not shying away from anything, but at the same time not wanting to take the spotlight off the awards and the nominees celebrating one of the most important nights of their lives.

Those are my thoughts on the Attitude interview and David's answers, at any rate. Happy as always to hear from my followers with your takes. Thank you for writing in! x

[hbyrde36]

The Crawl

Part 1 of 5

AO3

Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson | WC: 3340

Will Byers is only 12 years old when he learns that monsters are real, and is taken far away to another world that looks like his home, but isn't. The only thing they know for sure about the other dimension is that it does not play by the rules of the real world, and that, as the newest member of the party comes to realize, has possibilities. Time travel stories love to play with the idea that one small act can have an incredible impact on the future. What if, in a weird twist of fate, Will is found in the Upside-Down by a friendly face that just can't keep his mouth shut and is sent home safely with a warning of what's to come. Will it be enough to change everything?

Inspired by the VERY little information we have about the Stranger Things writer's plans for season 5

-Will-

Will Byers was only 12 years old when he learned that monsters were real. 

The party had just finished up a marathon gaming session at Mike’s house. None of them wanted to leave, but they'd been playing for hours and it was a school night. Everything was fine until he and Dustin split up, the other boy taking the turn that would get him home, while Will kept going towards his own house. It was dark out and the old light on the front of his bicycle had started flickering again when some thing suddenly appeared in the middle of the street. 

He only got a glimpse of it as he crashed his bike, but it was horrifying. Taller than a man and made sounds that sent chills running up and down his spine.

Sounds no human mouth could produce. 

Will left his bike where it lay and ran. Home wasn’t far, he could make it. His Mom would be there. Jonathan would be there. He’d be safe. 

Except the house was empty when he arrived save for Tucker, who wouldn't stop barking. Dogs always seem to be able to sense when something is wrong. Will peeked out the window to see if the coast was clear, but the creature had followed him and was still lurking around outside. 

He tried the phone, dialing 911 just like he was taught to do in an emergency, but it was no use. Something was wrong with the line. All he could hear on the other end was static and a distant screeching.

It didn’t matter, it was too late for anyone to help him anyway. 

The monster was at the front door. 

Will took off through the back door and headed straight to the shed where they kept Lonny’s old shotgun. If no one was coming to save him, he’d have to try and save himself. 

He loaded the gun with shaking hands, aiming it at the door where the monster would undoubtedly be coming from. Little did he know, this creature didn’t play by the rules of Will’s world. 

It was so cold in this place. This world that looked like Hawkins, but wasn’t. The monster had brought Will here, taken him through some kind of portal that had opened up in the wall. 

He was confused, to say the least, but he knew instantly that he’d been transported somewhere else. 

The sky was wrong and the air was thick and there was this weird ash falling all around him. It was harder to breathe here.

But he was small and quick and somehow he managed to escape the monster and hid in and around the wrong version of his house for a long time. 

He tried so many different ways to talk to his mom, but it seemed like everytime he got close to her the monster would sense it and reappear. Eventually it got so bad that he had to abandon the house altogether, for his own safety and for his mom’s. 

He didn’t want to risk that thing crossing back into his Hawkins and hurting her or Jonathan, or any of his friends.

Will went to the only other place he could think of that felt safe. A place where maybe the monsters wouldn’t find him. Castle Byers, his fort in the middle of the woods, his home away from home.

It took a lot out of him, getting there. Will didn’t know how long he’d been in this Wrong Hawkins, days at least, but he hadn’t had any food or water in all that time, and it was starting to take its toll. He shivered constantly now, and it wasn’t long before he could scarcely do more than lay on the makeshift cot in his hut made of branches and sing to himself for company. 

“Should I stay or should I go now?

Should I stay or should I go now?

If I go, there will be trouble

And if I stay it will be double

So come on and let me know”

He wondered if he’d ever get to see his family again. If his loved ones would know what happened to him. 

Will stopped singing as he heard a twig snap outside only a few yards away. Then another, and another. 

The monster had found him. 

He didn’t run this time. Not that he wasn’t scared anymore, he was petrified. He didn’t want to die. He was just too tired, too weak to get away again. 

He stayed where he was and braced himself for the claws and teeth, squeezing his eyes shut thinking that maybe if he didn’t see it coming it wouldn’t hurt so much. 

“Baby Byers? Is that you?”

Will’s eyes snapped back open. He couldn’t believe it. It wasn't the monster with the flower petal mouth peeking in through the door. It was another boy, a much older boy. 

The boy stepped cautiously inside the fort and crouched down next to where Will was laying. 

Up close he could see the older boy a little better. He had long dark curly hair hanging down from under a bandana that was wrapped around his head. He was ghostly pale, with big brown eyes that were tinged with just the slightest bit of red, and ruined clothes that were splattered with dried blood. 

In any other circumstances the boy would have been a terrifying sight, but when you’ve been faced with nothing but actual monsters for so long, seeing another person even in this condition felt like hope.

“Yeah, I’m Will.” He managed to answer.

The boy grinned widely. “No shit? Hah! It really is you! This is wild, man. I mean, it was a crazy theory , right? But I thought, shit , if this place is stuck in 1983, and just between you and me I think time is a little screwy here all around, I figured- I don’t have anything better to do, let me see if I can find the Baby Byers from back when all this started, and here you are!”

Will had absolutely no idea what this guy was going on about, but he sounded happy about it, and now Will wasn’t alone anymore. 

He had help.

“Who are you?” He asked.

The strange boy’s face screwed up in thought. Will couldn’t help but be amused at how dramatic his movements were. How expressive he was even in this bleak wasteland of a world. 

“Listen, I don’t want to make a creepy situation even creepier, but I don’t know if I should tell you my name. I don’t know how all this works or what kind of effect it might have on future events, y'know?”

Will didn’t know. 

None of what the other boy said was making any sense to him. He tried to respond, to ask the boy to slow down or explain what he meant, but the words got caught in his throat as he began to have a coughing fit. 

The boy rested the back of his hand on Will’s forehead, just like his mom always did when checking him for a fever. 

“Jesus, kid. You’re freezing.”

The boy shucked off his green vest and let it fall to the floor before removing the black leather jacket he had on beneath it and laid it down over Will like a blanket. 

When his chattering teeth slowed a bit and the cough had stopped, Will asked, “Won’t you get cold?”

The boy waved a hand through the air dismissively. “I’ll be fine. I don’t really feel the cold anymore.”

It was an ominous admission that when coupled with everything else Will couldn’t ignore. 

“ What are you?” Will asked, almost more curious than anything, really. He probably should have been more afraid of the boy than he was, but he was being so kind that it was hard to care that he might not be completely human.

The boy shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the question. “I’m… just a guy who got mixed up in this place because of a monster, same as you.”

Will narrowed his eyes. It felt like the truth, just maybe not the whole truth. “And you're sure you can’t tell me your name?” He pushed.

“You are persistent, kid. I’ll give you that.” The boy said with a laugh. “ Now I understand why you and Mike get along so well.”

“You know Mike?!” Will said excitedly.

“Shit.” The boy cursed as if he’d said more than he meant to. He looked nervous suddenly but recovered quickly. “Not important. What is important is getting you out of here. Can you walk if I help you?”

“I think so.”

“Good!” He said, reaching out to help Will shrug his arms into the sleeves of the oversized jacket. “Because I think I know how to get you out of here. Let’s get going, Will the Wise.” 

Will stared up at the other boy, mouth dropped open a little in surprise. “How do you know that ?”

“I know a lot of things…” The strange boy mumbled to himself, trailing off and staring into space a little as they stepped out of the fort and started walking. He kept one hand resting on Will’s back, ready to help if he stumbled or got too tired. He hadn’t felt this safe in days.  

“Oh.” The boy gasped suddenly, and out of nowhere. “Okay, yea. This could work!” He grinned down at Will and patted his back gently. “We’re going to do it your way.”

“You know you're not making any sense, right?” Will asked, giving him a little sideways look.  

The boy cackled, eyes shining with amusement. “Right, yeah. Okay, let’s start over.” 

He halted their steps and turned to Will, offering his hand to shake. “Hi, my name is Eddie and I'm from the future.” He tilted his head. “Sort of”

Will cracked a smile, letting out a soft laugh of his own.

“What? No gasp in awe? No sounds of surprise?” Eddie asked.

Will shook his head, still grinning as they resumed walking.

“Jeez, you throw a kid into another dimension for half a week and he goes all cynical on ya.”

“Another dimension?”

“Oh yeah. You guys call it the Upside Down, I think Mike, Lucas, and Dustin came up with it while you were in here. They also named all the monsters and shit after things from D&D.” Eddie started ticking things off on his fingers. “The tall humanoid thing is the demogorgon.”

“But-” Will began.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s not what the demogorgon looks like . I said the same thing, just go with it. Then there's Demodogs, the one’s kinda self explanatory. Demobats too, and the Mind Flayer. But– here’s the thing, what you don’t know, at least not yet, is that it’s all connected to one guy. He’s controlling them.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” Will was doing his best to keep up. He made a point to remember every word Eddie said in case it was important, even if he didn’t understand what any of it meant now. Eddie said he was from the future, if that was true maybe it would all make sense later.

“I know, kid, I know.” Eddie shook his head. “There's so much that hasn’t happened to you yet. It’s hard to explain, even I don’t get it all, and we don’t have much time. I think the sooner we get you out of here the better.”

Will wanted to ask why Eddie kept talking like he was the only one getting out of here. Surely Eddie would come along too, right? He couldn’t want to stay here. He looked like he needed a hospital.

“Okay let me think, some of it’s a little fuzzy, but maybe I can just rattle off what I do remember. Uh, 1984, next year, Halloween. The shit’s gonna hit the fan again with all this stuff. You’ll… hell, you’ll just have to be careful and keep an eye out because I don’t know much about that one except that there were demodogs involved. I think Dustin actually kept one as a pet for a while or something.”

“What?!”

“It’s Dustin! Would you expect any less?”

Will shrugged. “I guess not.”

“It’ll be fine. Stick with Steve, he’ll keep you guys safe.”

“Oh. Who’s Steve?” Will asked. 

“In 1983? He’s Nancy Wheeler’s boyfriend, or about to be. Don't worry about it right now, you’ll meet him eventually.” Eddie tapped his own chin, thinking. “What else, um, 1985. Something definitely happens at the mall.”

“What mall?”

“Oh right, they didn’t start building it until ‘84. It’ll be there. Anyway, there’s a fire, but it’s not a fire and somehow there were Russians involved and Steve and Robin got tortured and– Oh! And Hopper died!”

Eddie grimaced at his own tone. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, good to know I guess. What should we do then?”

“I”m gonna go with the same advice as before and say stick with Steve. He always seems to manage to keep you brats safe, although honestly for that one you kids should probably be keeping an eye on him . Just, uh… don’t let him or Robin go near any elevators.”

Will nodded along as if that made any sense. Maybe it would one day, or maybe this was all a hallucination. “So is that it? Is it over after that?”

Eddie looked away. Face going carefully blank which was a stark contrast to the way he’d been up until now. “No, after that it… We call him Vecna… He started picking kids off. Chrissy Cunningham, she’s his first victim. She…” Eddie trailed off, a faraway look in his eye.

As they approached some kind of facility Eddie stopped walking abruptly and squatting down so he and Will were eye to eye. They had reached a tall chain link fence that surrounded a huge building. The sign outside indicated that it was Hawkins Lab. Will had heard of the place but he’d never been there before. 

“I don’t think I can take you any farther than this.” Eddie said. “You’ll have to walk in there on your own, but from what I understand that’s where your mom and Hopper came in and out from when they rescued you.”

“My mom found me?” It was crazy how easily he was starting to believe all the things Eddie was saying, but it was all a little too weird for it to be a lie 

Eddie nodded. “She sure did. Your mom is a total badass. I might not have known what was going on back then, but even I remember how everyone in town tried to tell her you were dead. She refused to believe it, and she was right.”

Eddie got quiet for a moment. He looked back up at the massive building for a long minute before bringing his attention back to Will.

“Will, I don’t know if any of this will make a difference, and there is so much more I should probably be telling you, but I don’t know how to explain it so you’ll understand. Just, trust each other, all right? Stick together no matter what. You're gonna meet a girl when you get out of here. A girl with superpowers named Eleven, like the number. I don’t know shit about her story really, but I do know this all comes down to her. Her and Vecna. When the time comes remember that Vecna is Henry Creel, and Henry Creel is One. A number, just like Eleven. He used to be human, they knew each other before, and he’s after her just as much as he’s after a way to get out of this place. That's the key. If you can kill Vecna, then I think all of this will finally be over.“

“Is that what happened, did Vecna do this to you?” It was the first time Will had openly acknowledged Eddie’s odd appearance and all the blood and wounds that were easily visible through the rips in his shirt. 

Eddie offered him a sad smile and dodged the question. “Just because we failed, doesn’t mean you will. Maybe this small change, getting you out of here early, and giving you my admittedly lacking knowledge of the future, will make a difference.”

Will opened his mouth, hesitating before closing it again. There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to beg Eddie to come with him, to ask if they’d ever see each other again, but somehow he already knew Eddie wouldn’t answer. He wouldn’t leave this place, maybe couldn’t. 

Instead of saying anything he threw his small arms around the strange boy's waist, careful to avoid his wounds, and hugged him tightly. Eddie embraced him in return, patting his back awkwardly as they separated. Then he walked up to the fence and bent down pulling at the bottom of the chainlink until it was curled up enough that Will could crawl underneath it to the other side.

Eddie spoke to him one last time through the fence. “Somewhere in that building is a gate, a portal back home. There should be men monitoring it. Let them find you and bring you home, you’ll be alright.”

Once he was back in the Right-Side-Up, when he was finally home and recovered from his ordeal, Will tried to tell everyone about the strange looking older boy named Eddie who had helped him get out of the Upside Down. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t the type of kid to make up stories, not outside a game of D&D at least. 

No one believed him. 

“Then how did I know you named it the Upside Down? How did I know Eleven’s name or the fact that she had superpowers?” Will had argued. 

Unfortunately, once the men in hazmat suits had come to pull him through the gate, he’d sort of passed out and spent the next few days unconscious in the hospital wing of Hawkins Lab. 

Mike had been there almost the whole time, sometimes joined by Lucas and Dustin as well, and they would talk to Will as he slept about everything that had happened while he’d been gone. When he finally woke up and tried to explain what really happened to him, everyone assumed that he knew these things, the name of the place he’d been, the name of the monsters, and about El and everything else, because he’d heard his friends talking to him as he slept. Even Doctor Owens, the one nice man he’d met who worked for the lab, had said it was a possibility. 

Everyone thought his mind had invented Eddie, that the strange boy had been nothing more than a visual and auditory hallucination to help him deal with what was happening to him. 

It didn't even matter that he had actual physical evidence in the form of a worn black leather jacket. Once again, it was explained away. It was probably one of Lonny’s old jackets that he found and put on because it was so cold, they said. There might not be people in the Upside Down, but there was plenty of stuff. 

Never mind that there was a guitar pick on a length of thin chain shoved in one of the pockets, and Lonny had never played guitar a day in his life.

They all seemed to just want to get over it and move on. Eventually Will stopped trying to convince anyone else that Eddie was real. He believed, and that was good enough for now. They’d all know soon enough if the things Eddie had told him would come to pass.

The truth came to slap them all in the face just under a year later when Dustin, Lucas, and the new girl Max found themselves facing down demodogs in the junkyard with nothing for protection except an old school bus, and Steve Harrington with his nail bat.

It was a little easier to get the others to believe and listen to him after that.

Part 2

Thanks forever to @penny00dreadful for being the best friend, cheerleader, and beta in the whole fucking world 💜 truly could not do it without you.

[sakuraghosttown]

omg i just found your blog while searching up info regarding digital witch mayura and i didnt realize other people also were into her character and design!

im designing my myspace page (aka on spacehey) around her and every single time i keep finding weird ass images of her T.T

im really glad your blog has none of that cause it freaks me out honestly

Hi (sorry for the very late response) thank you !

[The reply I wrote is pretty long and turned into a bit of a rant- I guess it's something I wanted to say and this ask is the perfect occasion for it]

i have just set a a plug-in (created by the wonderful @/glenthemes) that will filter and hide any content that is suggestive or is linked with 18+ sources on this blog. no matter what I post, I want to make sure everyone is safe and doesn't have to see content that could make them uncomfortable.

given the context, nsfw content of ukagaka is inevitable, and when it's not the content itself it's the source. it's not that easy to find a good middle ground between posting content of the time and wanting to keep the blog clean.

still, I want to note that: i will never post explicit content. suggestive, maybe, and content made by artist who draw nsfw, yes, it's inevitable but NEVER full on NSFW. And never anything suggestive featuring characters that are canonically minors, or drawings that were visibly, explicitly created with the intent of being seen as such.

I don't mind NSFW images of Ukagaka all that much (expect NSFW loli) what I cannot stand is irresponsibly posting it to public spaces for everyone including children to see, lying, deceiving and putting and putting sense of morals aside (for instance, buying netrunmon's weird ass magazines full of lolicon and litteraly illegal content -possibly related to real life CP- just cause there's biscuit-tan on the cover so you can fill your MFC page and post images on Tumblr and say "look I own some shit with the character you guys like on it" )

I know, I know, these characters are popular enough to where people want to see more of them and not popular enough to where there's a lot of content easily accessible, so you wanna be that guy who owns something that's kinda rare, it makes you feel good I know, but is your photo going slightly viral in communities already overflowing with content worth it ?

Conversation with a friend made me reconsider my views, I no longer feel its necessary to censor anything that could lead to potential NSFW as much as I used to, not only is it like i said pretty much impossible (wether we like it or not, Ukagaka is tightly related to echii and lolicon culture, most popular ghosts were created by people known in the doujin world- usually for their nsfw work and the program itself was created with options such as lifting the ghost's skirts up) it's also important to note that it is something that exists i don't want to censor the past and I'd rather be honest and mention NSFW when I post it, with warnings for those who don't want to see it than pretend it doesn't exist or try to deceive people into thinking is SFW.

Even if some things these Japanese artists draw are pretty questionable, they (most of them) at least make sure to put their 18+ works in different galleries with and appropriate warnings. As it should be. And we should do the same. (Honestly it's kinda funny how some people take artworks that are carefully stored away in 18+ galleries just to repost them in public, all ages blogs, as is)

Im gonna take an example of a person, if you know who, you know, but i won't mention any names (I don't want to bicker with them anymore I just think it's a good example of what I'm trying to say) someone who posted a cropped image of a hentai of Mayura, to make it pass off as SFW (because this person claimed to be against NSFW of her) by doing so, not only are they lying to their followers which kind of sucks but anyone who were to try and reverse search the image to find out what the source is would be met with NSFW. In that case it would be better to be honest about the NSFW nature of that image as to avoid that scenario. Either you want to keep anything NSFW away from your blog in which case, don't try and sneak in images of hentais in it OR post images coming from hentais but be honest about it.

Me ? That's what I'll do, if I post anything that is from an NSFW source, then I'll mention it, and I don't think I want to censor names anymore, because- if the viewer is fully warned that by looking into the source they will be met with 18+ then the responsibility, if they proceed, falls on them. I really am doing all I can to make sure that people know what they are looking at and what they would be getting into and I trust you guy's judgment to know wether you want to proceed with soemthing or not.

TL;DR, if I post a link to a website that has 18+ content or a drawing that is suggestive, not only will it be hidden behind a filter so nobody who doesn't explicitly click on the image has to see, so anyone is free to ignore 👍

I decided against censoring sources and names and instead give appropriate warnings (instead of "I won't name the artist cause they draw porn" -> "the artist is [artistname] just so you know, they draw porn")

Also maybe you're thinking "it's not that deep" but for one, protecting young minds against potentially shocking media is very important, I know the internet corrupted all of us, but I swear, you guys, we actually should try to keep porn away from kids (Crazy I know !) + as someone who certain trauma and who is very sensitive to nsfw, even drawn, I know it can be a hassle and some people would rather stay a miles away from it and this needs to be respected, I'm not gonna go "well the world shouldn't adapt to your problem" or "welcome to the internet" when i have the same problem (and when the problem is people not wanting to see things that shouldn't ever be out so freely in the first place)

Let's just be responsible people who don't post weird porn into public spaces because honestly it just doesn't need to be 👍

[bismuthburnsblue]

YOU SELECTED: WING COLLAR

and thats the collar! it was pretty close in the end, but wing collar just pulled through- ill be real with you guys, i have NO idea how im going to go about making this part of the pattern, but i hope you'll find some entertainment in listening to me figure it out!

I think that makes pretty much all out major decisions on this project! i could definitely run several more polls about the details on this dress, but it, at the very least, feels too far out on the making to really be thinking about the fine tuning, for me! maybe ill put up a couple more a few months down the line, huh?

but before we go, right at the beginning of this, i mentioned the chance of doing an overlay to tone down this fabric, and now im offering you the choice! ive pulled two fabrics from my stash for you to vote on!

As usual, images and personal thoughts under the readmore :)

heres the options! above is it laid out over the full length, below is them laid out with each other- i think below is a far better example of the reality (the chiffon REALLY washed out in the picture, but i wanted to include both to give you as many visuals as possible

(below: top=dot, middle=none, bottom=chiffon)

my main interest in doing an overlay is that i worry that the fabric is too vibrant for me to get a reasonable amount of wear out of this garment- i am very much an all black bitch, and this fabric actually has quite a lot going on. i think if its toned down a bit i would reach for it more.

However. any overlay is going to instantly make the sewing process a good deal harder. chiffons and mesh are much more finnicky fabrics to work with than the plain cotton, and even with flat lining it, its going to be a bit of a challenge to make sure the layers stay nicely together and the top fabric isnt bubbled over or tucked anywhere. im also concerned flat lining simply wouldnt be enough for the skirt panels, being as big as they are, and that a top layer will gape away and hide the design completely

On top of that, the chiffon blocks out a lot more of the design than i was really going for, honestly. its very covered in person. you can get sheer-er chiffons, but i wasnt planning on buying anything new for this. counter to that, i also feel maybe the mesh doesnt block out enough? in person i had to flip it back and forth to really see the way it affects the colours.

i also also feel like. it immediately makes it feel more formal to me? takes it from a plain cotton dress, to something Fancy- im not sure that makes sense, but thats the way it feels to me. this isnt really pro/con, just. a thing to consider.

(i guess on that note- i worry it may make it less washable? a more delicate garment? i have an overlocker but its still stress on a potentially delicate fabric)

i think the tldr of all of that is. i have many concerns about doing an overlay. but if it goes well, it may make the dress significantly more wearable to my style, which is always an important factor to consider. i really am trying to make more things i will truly Wear, so its a thing i have to consider.

[crumchycow]

a get to know you better meme

thanks for the tag @thestrangeillusion

do you make your bed?

Nope never, if something doesn't need to be tidied it will not be tidied, have left a bucket in the middle of my room for 9 months because of this.

what's your favourite number?

Don't have one

what is your job?

Currently just a student I kinda need to get a job but studying and working is a lot for me and acquiring a job is annoying and hard so uethggghhhh

If you could go back to school would you?

Um will I continue studying? Maybe....

can you parallel park?

No

a job you had that would surprise people?

None? Probably the most interesting way I have earned money is the only commission I've ever had, which was my mum commissioning me for her work (kindergarten) because they needed 30 little icon drawings that each kid has at like their bag hook and on their stuff to identify them, she didn't like the person who used to do it because they were weird about it for some reason and the designs were kinda cluttered and ugly so my mum was like my child can draw? Yes! and this way I can be really fussy and specific with it.

(dw she paid me quite well)

do you think aliens are real?

In the sense of any life existing outside of earth? yes 100% would be weird if there isn't. In the sense of complex or intelligent life? probably. In the sense of there are human equivalent creatures that have achieved space travel and are equally or more technologically advanced than us, unlikely but possible. Just thinking about how much time life has existed without humans and how long humans have existed before any ideas of space exploration and the very specific technologies and discoveries that were necessary for space exploration I wouldn't be surprised if we are the only ones. Also just like how incredibly difficult space travel beyond our solar system is I think it's unlikely we will truly know or make contact.

can you drive a manual car?

No :) do not care to learn. fuck cars and driving is boring i only learn to drive because its kinda necessary where i live :( get me good public transport government please

what's your guilty pleasure?

im guilty about alot things like drinking milk, eating too much sugar, spending too much money, doing literally anything i will find a way to feel guilty about it but thats just my general state of being since i was a child and i mostly ignore it or work around it.

I guess in the more traditional sense of things i like that are embarrassing and i wouldnt want people to know, it would be reading fucked up smut. Particularly my fondness for incest ships? Don't know why I suspect it is the codependency. but yeah umm...

Tattoos?

Not yet but I wanna get a spider (not decided which) on my back soon.

favourite colour?

Peach

favourite type of music?

Um I mostly listen to kpop because uh autism? idk, but I genuinely like a lot of music. Some of my favourite music is like objectively awful and difficult to listen to, I think I often like music that is complex and has lots of things.

Some of my favourite artists trying to include multiple genres I like:

Mamamoo

Stray Kids

Taemin

F.T. island

Jeff Satur

S3rl

Enaria

Chopin (I'm learning one of his preludes atm it's v pretty)

Vivaldi

BabyBeard

GHOST (vocaloid producer)

also gregorian chants slap (not christian, vocal harmonies just make me feral)

do you like puzzles?

Yes! I just recently was like y'know what I haven't done in years but suddenly really need to do:

But also just generally like I LOVE maths and figuring out things and patterns and stuff so fun.

any phobias?

Nope

favourite childhood sport?

Um not that into sport, I guess I wanted to play netball when I was like 8 (but that might've just been because that's the thing you do) but I missed the trial periods 2 years in a row but kinda glad I didn't I know multiple people with permanent injuries from playing netball as a kid/teen and my joints are not the most functional in the first place. Do still enjoy playing casually every now and then.

do you talk to yourself?

Yes my favourite hobby, I have the best conversations with myself, will stay up for hours just talking to myself. Also great for preparing for real conversations. I love it when a topic I fully thought about and talked to myself comes up in conversation and it's like fuck yeah gonna ace this one.

what movie(s) do you adore?

Hmmm not the biggest fan of movie as a story format but uh have seen how to train your dragon at least 20 times and I need to watch it again sometime soon, been craving that animal/human enemies to deep emotional connection best buds.

coffee or tea?

Love coffee, but over half of my daily water consumption is through tea (usually multiple kinds)

Would be less alive without tea also its just like so diverse, green tea!black tea! rooibos! masala chai! rosehip! liquorice! peppermint..... camomile! and so much more with sugar! with milk! with honey! or lemon! hot! cold! literally my favourite, shoutout to whoever invented plant in water. Also soup different kind of plant in water but still absolutely banging humans peaked at plant in water best things invented.

and caffeine doesn't affect me like at all? so i only drink these things for taste.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

Idk the first but I know at some stage I wanted to be an author or a marine biologist (why is this so common who put it in our heads? Actually maybe David Attenborough....) probably the first was an animal or something

egh its rambly and may not make sense but whatever, also revealing any information about myself on the internet scares me even though literally nobody could do anything with this information like guys pls dont dox me through knowing my mum is a kindergarten teacher

tagging @gaylittlepieceofsh1t @mousydentist @mr-bazongos @wildelydawn @thestarscanalwayslookatus @fiddlepickdouglas @ae-azile and any one who wants to, no pressure tho <333

[silverspleen]

@your-royal-highness-of-trash

Pulled out into TWO new posts b/c I cannot be subjecting my friends to one longpost but rather many smaller posts with the majestic read more tool. I hope this is cool.

(Context. My reply to This.)

THE GRIM HALF tw warcrimes torture it's a CoD ramble my beloved followers know it's time for me to be Unhinged on Main

I don't know if I would call Jacob Geller's video essays on Call of Duty fun. Like, they very much aren't designed to be consumed from a fandom lens. They are super intellectually engaging and enlightening but also really grim since he does absolutely talk about the real life political motivations that go into CoD as a work of art, specifically propaganda art. And talks about, you know, real war crimes done by real people in real life. I have made multiple irl friends watch them.

None of them are into FPS games so this is basically my torture I am doing to my friends as I desperately try to rationalizing enjoying Call of Duty as an adult with a functioning brain. Who notices things like, yeah. We made up a middle eastern country for this one huh lads? We made that shit up so we don't have to make any actual comments about the United States' current complicity in this whole war and terrorism thing huh? WE'RE DOING A HISTORICAL REVISIONISM ARE WE??? I wouldn't have noticed the historical revisionism without this video essay and you know what? It's super fucked up. CoD does wacko stuff all the time, both for manufactured drama and for silly propaganda reasons, and when it jumps the shark is when it's the most conventional fun I think. I think Geller is onto something where he says that the writers went into this thinking they were doing the story in the best way possible with character driven stuff - and therefore it doesn't REALLY matter where Farah is from to them, they can just make up a country because it's general backstory vibes that impact her behavior that matter, not cultural details. Also how Alex can get away with being a terrorist but in a nbd way because yeah he is one, that's what happens when you desert to a faction that literally gets classified as a terrorist organization babyyy - but sitting at a perspective completely divorced of all the political and societal nuances in real life that makes the actual manifested story have impact outside of itself. And the US government is like "hell yeah, America! more kids will think guns and soldiers are cool and great. A+ plot or whatever put more suicide bombers in it" and that's that.

Being invited to my clusterfuck of an apartment like SIT ON MY COUCH WE'RE WATCHING THE POLITICS OF COD MW 2019.

Poor Gaz is the other character besides Farah with the strongest sense of like, justice and doing "the right thing" and this man gets ALL the ethically questionable as fuck levels and I know why. It's so they can do a propaganda and show like, ok this must be a justifiable offense because the Good Guy player surrogate character can accept it. I see you! I see you CoD writers!

not CoD but always relevant - "Rationalizing Brutality: The Cultural Legacy of the Headshot"

His video essays "Who's Afraid of Modern Art" and "Judaism and Whiteness in Wolfenstein" are both personal favorites. Though I am so so biased towards his review of Dead Space 2 that's just like 40 minutes of him being like "this game rocks" because yeah, mood.

Anyway I am putting this in a box and throwing it into the ocean next post is the fun part of CoD it's shipping time this is my dichotomy this is how I must live my life.

[maverick-werewolf]

Folklore Fact - Christmas Trees!

It's Christmastime! The most wonderful time of the year! And after holding a festive poll on my Patreon, Christmas trees are the very clear winner for this month's folklore fact. Let's dive right in...

(Couldn't resist)

There are a lot of different theories about Christmas trees. All kinds of concepts about how they might've originated, who had them first - so let's start at the "beginning," per se.

First off, various sources - including most prominently the Encyclopedia Britannica - mention that many cultures saw evergreens as representing eternal life. Makes sense, given they're always green. The ancient Egyptians, Chinese, and Hebrews used evergreen garlands, trees, and - yes - wreaths to symbolize eternal life, and they were used in worship.

Likewise, worship of trees was common among Scandinavian cultures and many other European cultures besides; for instance, the great tree at the Temple at Uppsala was said to be evergreen and was where sacrifices were hanged (including men, horses, dogs, and others)...

(sacrifices hanging in the trees at the temple at Uppsala)

Continuing the sacredness of trees in Scandinavian cultures, decorating the house with evergreens at the end of the year warded away the devil, and sometimes trees were set up for birds to nest in during Christmas time. There was also the very important Yule log during the time of Yule, although that was a log to burn, not a tree. The Yule log is still a tradition today.

However, none of this is the same as bringing a tree into your home and decorating it with candles, gold, and whatever else - and certainly not hanging sacrifices on it. So what really started the Christmas tree we have today?

The evergreen was kind of always specifically related to sanctity and everlasting life in Christianity. After Donar's Oak (a sacred pagan tree) was felled by the Christian Saint Boniface and his retinue, some later versions of the tale include an evergreen growing in its place, its triangular shape representing the Holy Trinity. Likewise, we have Roman sources mentioning Christians decorating their homes in evergreens.

Decorated trees and evergreen elements appear throughout Christian lore over many time periods. For instance, Christmas trees have often been equated to the "tree of paradise" found in the mystery plays of the Middle Ages, which were held on what is now Christmas Eve (December 24). A tree decorated with apples - the forbidden fruit of original sin, which Christ took away - and white wafers (redemption and the Eucharist) was used in plays about Adam and Eve on their name day. Later, this tree was placed in homes, and the red apples became shiny red balls - the same ones we know and love today. It's entirely possible these were our first Christmas trees.

It is often thought the first reference to real "Christmas trees" appears toward the end of the medieval period in the 15th century in the writings of the Regiment of the Cistercian Alcobaça Monastery in Portugal...

"Note on how to put the Christmas branch, scilicet: On the Christmas eve, you will look for a large Branch of green laurel, and you shall reap many red oranges, and place them on the branches that come of the laurel, specifically as you have seen, and in every orange you shall put a candle, and hang the Branch by a rope in the pole, which shall be by the candle of the high altar."

Many of these traditions still live on today.

Generally, Christmas trees are considered to be largely in the Baltic regions and Central Europe. Some people also ascribe the Christmas tree to Martin Luther, who may have been the first to add candles to decorating trees. There is also a representation of a Christmas tree in a keystone sculpture of a home in Turckheim, Alsace (part of France today, formerly in the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation). This dates to 1576.

So, are there pre-Christian origins to the Christmas tree? Maybe, as depending upon whom you ask, it did depend on region and denomination in the past - but it's also possible that it was a separate Christian concept and originated from the tale of Adam and Eve and the redemption brought by Jesus Christ, originating even before what some scholars consider to be the first real representations of Christmas trees.

We can't "prove," necessarily, that the evergreens of Christianity came from any one particular previous source. Although all cultures that became Christian were certainly influenced by their previous customs, it could've also been something that originated independently in Christian culture or came about influenced by not one but multiple concepts and cultures. No other culture quite approached it the exact same way as did Christians, same as they never fully approached it the same way among one another. There are many cases of similar traditions developing independently, as is already evident in the idea of evergreen representing eternal life (which of course makes sense) across many cultures that had little or no communication with each other during these time periods.

So... who knows! It was and is a subject of debate among scholars. Either way, the Christmas tree is now undeniably an important part of Christmas and the Christmas season. It just isn't Christmas without the trees.

And that's this year's Christmas folklore fact! If that really counts as folklore. Religious fact? Anyway!

Until next time, and I truly wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! It's the best time of the year, and I hope it's fantastic for us all.

P.S.: Please don't use this post as a jumping off point to attack any particular set of beliefs/religion. Be nice. It's Christmas. Thanks in advance.

( If you like my blog, be sure to follow me here and elsewhere for more folklore and fiction, including books, especially on werewolves! You can also sign up for my free newsletter for monthly werewolf/vampire/folklore facts, as well as free fiction and nonfiction book previews. You'll be the first to hear about everything, without having to check social media!

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[greenerteacups]

That reminds me of why I really dislike that the epilogue exists.... other than the fact that it's totally unnecessary and adds nothing of importance to the story, it actually portrays, in my opinion, a strangely stagnant and therefore bitter (imo) ending for these characters I truly loved through my childhood and teens... Like, the fact that they just...stayed the same... married the person they started dating in school (regardless of actual compatibility)...the same friendships and enmities.... I just remember reading that epilogue and immediately rejecting it cause I found it weirdly depressing and it also kinda felt like the author was kinda forcing the characters into a certain destiny beyond what was necessary, which sounds really weird but I do think there's a point where, as a writer, you have to let the story go and leave 'what happens next' to the readers' imaginations.

there's a reason for this, i think. i actually happen to like a lot of the endgame couples — i think that harry and ginny being straight-out-of-school/married-young-in-wartime sweethearts is cute, and makes sense for their characters. i like the idea of them naming the kids after harry's parents, Sirius, and Luna (Obvious Exception Notwithstanding!!!) because it ties in with the themes of family/love transcending death and also happens to be a real-life phenomenon that young couples do to commemorate the wartime dead! i think it's great that neville's a herbology professor — it's an ultimate triumph over Snape to become the exact opposite kind of teacher, one who offers support and understanding to slow-learning children — and although i hate what happened to Lupin and Tonks, the idea of Harry raising Teddy as his own son/nephew/younger brother/Unidentified But Beloved Family Member in the same way Sirius probably would have raised Harry, if he had the chance. it ties in very well with "healing past wrongs" as an underlying motif for the next generation.

and you know what, fuck it, i'm not ashamed to say it: I like the Third Gen kids. they are good character concepts and they have hints of interesting story arcs! I like the idea of harry's oldest son being this ridiculously high-energy, sociable, nosy-ass Fred Weasley type popular kid, because — yeah, that's what both of your parents are! of course you're like that! and I really like the idea of [REDACTED MIDDLE CHILD NAME] being a Slytherin with strong moral values, because that's an arc that frankly should have happened in the original books, and it reads like a graceful acknowledgement of how the author mishandled Slytherin House (even if it's kind of dissonant with their behavior in the Battle of Hogwarts, but whatever). Lily we don't have much to go on, but she reads a bit like a young Ginny if she were less shy. but none of that quality changes the fact that these characters shouldn't exist.

authors coming to the end of their first work have trouble letting go of it, especially when that work is long. (even though it was her seventh book, Deathly Hallows was the first time JKR ever had to actually end a "story" as such). they're scared of leaving something out, and I think these long-range time jumps are a reaction to the desire to hold onto these characters as long as possible — to delay the inevitable goodbye, and claim authorship of as much of their characters' lives as possible. the problem is that you don't want to undo the happy ending they've just earned, so you can't realistically portray the tensions and breakups and conflicts that would happen if the characters were left to develop naturally for nineteen years. which is why the epilogue feels false to me.

and the funny thing is, for fans of the "canon" epilogue ships, ending it after the Battle of Hogwarts wouldn't change anything! it's ironic, because in theory you'd want an author to confirm that your pairing gets a big happy wedding, but when a ship is endgame, it's assumed that they have a "happy ever after" anyways. we don't read Percy Jackson and assume that he and Annabeth have an acrimonious divorce in their 40's. we don't wonder (at least, not as serious analysts of the text) if Arwen and Aragorn need to get couples counseling. maybe they do, and maybe they would, but that's not relevant to the story that's being told, and the way the narrative frames it, the "ending" of their story is itself the end of the line for their pairing. the moment you stop writing, they exist in perpetuity as a loving relationship, and you don't need to tell us they get married! they have been immortalized as lovers! harry and ginny would be THE endgame couple of the series whether or not we knew their children's names. they are each others' destiny.

and the end of the day, the problem with the epilogue boils down to this: either their story ends at the battle of hogwarts, or it didn't. if it didn't, then it looks like you have another book to write. and if it did, then it's time to take your hands off the wheel.

[wander-wren]

wren’s 100% correct warrior cat names opinion

was talking about this on a server so i figure i might as well throw it up on here as well. every few months or years i randomly get back into warriors rp and/or fanclans and ocs, which sometimes leads me to finding people with ocs whose names are technically correct (ie, they are two nature words a feral cat would conceivably know), but…not right. so why is that?

first of all, there are two elements to a name sounding right: the general flow of it/the mouthfeel, and whether it makes sense.

the first part dictates things like syllable count and what words exactly can be used. for the record, i’m approaching this from the perspective of trying to make names “feel” canon; not necessarily traditional naming, but names that aren’t jarring in the setting. most canon warrior cat names are two or three syllables long, and don’t contain words that are already compound words. i even looked this up to grab some stats:

of the several hundred canon prefixes:

4 are compound words: Bluebell, Chestnut, Milkweed, Primrose

7 are 3 syllables: Bubbling, Cinnamon, Dangling, Ebony, Juniper, Lavender, Shivering

1 is 4 syllables: Dandelion

none of the canon suffixes are compound words or longer than two syllables.

most warrior cat names, then, end up being 2-3 syllables long. the ones that are four are almost exclusively a 2&2 syllable pattern, like Goldenflower and Brambleberry. the full warriors that do have longer prefixes have 1-syllable suffixes, like Cinnamontail, Ebonyclaw, and Juniperstone, and we’ve never had an adult warrior with a compound prefix.

this isn’t to say it can’t be done—i think Primrosepetal is a solid name, for example—but you should be careful with it. Primrosechestnut is probably not a great name, because it’s very long for only four syllables and easy to get lost in, plus it seems like it has four segments instead of two. personally i think alliteration helps here as well, makes the sounds flow together better. make sure your name isn’t hard to read, either, like how Rumbleadder creates the word “lead” in the middle that can be confusing.

years ago, i saw someone use the name Solidagoshine and i like that too. solidago is another name for goldenrod, and i think a better one because goldenrod is compound, even though solidago is longer. solidago gets through its 4 syllables with the minimum number of letters and distinct sounds for each one, so it’s easier to read, and it ends in a nice 1-syllable shine to close it off. so it’s definitely possible to have longer names under this system, don’t worry.

while we’re talking about compound words, let me also caution you against using a normal compound word as a warrior name, for example Waterlily. it’s a fine name, but it just rings a little wrong since it’s already a real word.

ONTO THE SECOND CRITERIA: whether the name makes any sense. We’ll use the name [spins wheel of nature nouns] Twilightredwood as an example. probably not a great name to go for, because twilight and redwood do not have any real conceptual link, they dont describe how the cat looks (in fact, they’re a bit contradictory, with “twilight” having a gray connotation and “redwood” having, well, red, or maybe brown), and they don’t really hint at the cat’s personality or skills. maybe twilight could imply calm and redwood could imply steadiness or strength, but it’s not obvious.

those are the three criteria i use for a name’s meaning. just about every canon name fits into one or more of those categories. we all know that cats named Graystripe, Redtail, and Blackfoot have specific patterns. names like Mothwing and, dare i say, Twigbranch, are made up of two linked concepts. Other names like Hawkfrost, Leafpool, and Rootspring may not point to a specific physical trait or make any sense as linked concepts, but they outline the character’s personality or skills (Leafpool’s is technically a nod to the Moonpool, but I’d argue that the “pool” image is calm like she is, so it still works).

now that starts to lean more into traditional naming, but i don’t think every prefix/suffix has a set meaning or rules. “snow” could mean soft, gentle, playful, for one cat and cold, uncaring, even deadly for another. you could have a white cat with the Oak prefix if you meant it as strong and steady as opposed to bark-colored.

again, i’m not the name police. ultimately, do whatever makes you happy. i have ocs named Briarbee and Swiftdove and Crowflight and Lichendust, but i also have one named Rhododendronsnap. so, uh. how much room do i have to talk. actually, ironically, i think the only one there that might not follow my own rules is Lichendust. what does that mean.