#There’s a very real possibility that none of this makes sense. It is the middle of the night and my brain is zooming

[calibrationneeded]

John dehumanizes Sam and Dean in different ways, but both in the way a solider would to keep a “level” head in a situation, which I think makes a lot of sense, as John was a marine.

Initially, he seems to view Sam as someone might view the “good side” in combat, something that needs to be defended even if it means laying down your life, but there’s no actual emotional connection, a soldier who loves this country doesn’t necessarily love the people. Later on after the demon blood incident it’s like a switch is flipped for John, and all the sudden he sees Sam almost as a traitor who needs to be taken out. It kind of makes me think of in zombie media when a character is turned and another one kills them without hesitation because it doesn’t matter if they used to be their loved one, they have to kill them for the greater good.

With Dean, he treats him kind of like a subordinate or fellow officer. He cares about him, but in the throes of what he sees as battle, if his comrade is taken out, he can’t always stop to save them, he would have to do what’s best for the greater good in the situation. He would feel sad if Dean died, but he would justify it by saying that, that’s the way war is, and that Dean was a martyr (as if Dean chose to be in John’s Sudo army). I think this is also why John is so aggressively hard on him because he doesn’t see him as his son, he sees him as a soldier who needs to be harped on.

This is also reflected in the canon because there are several times where a character will assume that Dean was in the military, and he will answer along the lines of that he did serve, but he’ll be vague. To be perfectly honest, Dean did essentially serve when it comes to the emotional toll, but he was never in an actual military position. 

“Even extreme grief may ultimately vent itself in violence--but more generally takes the form of apathy.” -Joseph Conrad (Heart of Darkness, 1899.)

[sagelasters]

scientific study on the void state

For decades, people have thought sleeping is a momental period or pause where both the body and mind is asleep. When I stopped remembering my dreams, I recalled seeing just pitch black in my sleep, and I never thought much about it until I started getting into the void and loa in general. It’s strange how my mind remembered those moments of nothingness and pure darkness, they were briefly short but I came to the conclusion that every single one of us has been in a void state. Whether or not you remembered it, maybe you do, maybe for a split second you were enveloped in pitch blackness till you woke up. Most of us brush off these strange phenomenals, but here’s the real question: Is it possible to be aware in your sleep? The answer is yes, our subconscious mind is fully awake even in your sleep. I think one of the most interesting scientific experiments I’ve read was an interview in 2022, it explores the ‘objectless awareness’ in our sleep. 

There were about 38 participants in the experiment, in which they were given a word to mentally spell and then they were interviewed based on that specific spelling. This is to measure participant’s memory accuracy, just to make sure they didn’t fabricate or make up any descriptions in the experiment. When participants pass the first round, they are given a survey if they have experiences of being conscious in their sleep. The result is that some participants recalled to lack any bodily sensations or imagery, one person reported that they lost the sense of being ‘themself’ but they identified as a ‘light’ or ‘orb’. Another person reported that after being in the state of nothingness, they were shaken up and brought to another ‘dream scenery’. Others recalled that their thoughts were completely non-existent in this state and they are aware of being ‘transitioned’ to what they called the ‘black spot’ and ‘nothingness state’. 

The chart summarizes what the participants experience in their sleep, the ‘nothingness phase’ seems to be the middle ground between regular sleeping state, to hypnagogia (transition between being awake and sleep, you experience sleep paralysis and muscle jerks in this stage). Most participants were unable to recall what happened after they transitioned out of the ‘nothingness phase’. The following is what they said:

Participant 1

"So, this sensation of nothing was letting me know that I was still in a dream, because I made the comparison to, I cannot feel any of my limbs. So, I know that I’m not just in bed right now with my eyes closed. Because none of my body’s there."

Participant 2

"I no longer have an idea of a body.. a dream body at that point. And then I [emphasis] became or was this just like this little ball of light, […]. So like I knew that the sphere of light was ME, but also like the light that was around the sphere was me, […] Once I become the sphere, you are asking if I have any body perception? I do not have any at that point […] having a dream body is just completely gone."

Participant 9

“And then, and then all of a sudden, there was just nothing I could not, I’ve gone from, from my body, I guess. And I’ve had other bodies before and this felt very, very, very different where I did not like there was no dream body, no dream scene. No, no ANYTHING. It almost seems like a form about a body. But it almost seems like you are, you are caught between, caught between somewhere where you are trying to get in and the physical, you are, you are somewhere else. […] And so, so I was able to feel that I guess.” 

Participant 8

“It’s more like I was the void. ”

Participant 12

" It’s just total darkness. And you…, there’s very little difference between you and what’s around you. ”

Well didn’t that blow your mind away? This probably raises more questions on more phenomenal that modern science has no idea about, considering the fact that we just discovered our sense of awareness is still on even in our sleep. 

Citation

Alcaraz-Sánchez A, Demšar E, Campillo-Ferrer T, Torres-Platas SG. Nothingness Is All There Is: An Exploration of Objectless Awareness During Sleep. Front Psychol. 2022 Jun 10;13:901031. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2022.901031. PMID: 35756253; PMCID: PMC9226678.

[megalony]

You're Mine Now

This is well overdue, but here is a new Evan Buckley imagine which is part of the Can't You Be Mine series. It's a little spin-off I had an idea for and I hope you will all like it.

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Evan Buckley Masterlist

Can't You Be Mine

Summary: Minnie loves Evan and thinks of him as her real dad, so they decide to surprise Evan by making things official on a very special day.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why do I recognise this place?"

A grin spread slowly across Evan's face as he hopped down from the truck behind Eddie. He shut the truck door behind him and took a moment to glance around the playground they had parked up in while the rest of the team clambered down and waited to be told what equipment they would need from the truck.

When a confused look flooded Chimney's face and he looked around as if he was having a sense of de ja vu, Evan gave in.

"This is Minnie's school." He murmured softly, watching as Chimney clicked his fingers and nodded while Eddie let out a small 'ah'.

Now that made sense. That was why this place was vaguely familiar to Chimney. This was where (Y/n)'s daughter went, the little girl who had already wormed her way into Evan's heart and who had enchanted all of the team with them all wrapped around her little finger.

"Alright Cap, where'd you want us?" Hen placed her hands on her hips as they all took a glance around the playground. It was deserted, but there was a larger playground at the back of the school where they figured all the kids would be lining up at the moment.

"Hen and Eddie, you two can go talk to the teachers, make sure there are no kids feeling ill. You two come with me, we're here as back up and precaution, we don't need to suit up yet."

There was a possible gas leak in the school. All the staff and children had been ecavuated outside for safety precautions and another fire department had already arrived to go inside and check. If the place was cleared and none of the kids were unwell everyone could go back inside and they could leave. But they needed another unit here just to be safe and make sure everyone was okay and in case they had a leak that needed to be stopped.

Hen and Eddie grabbed a medic bag each, just to be safe and they made their way towards the captain of the other team who was on the far left side of the next playground talking to the head teacher.

Whereas Bobby led Chimney and Evan over to the other side of the playground near to the children.

They were lined up in classes, with all the toddlers on the left near the play equipment, all of them jittering and unable to stand still. Then there were the younger kids, the middle kids and the elders up to eleven all in rows with their respective classes.

Kids were leaning over into other lines to chat with friends, some towards the back were trying to veer off a little to be together, clearly bored. And a few were watching the fire department with vigor, eager to see them do something spectacular.

Evan folded his arms over his chest and stood beside Chimney, both of them stood near the far wall with the kids lined ahead of them.

He couldn't help it. He just had to scan his eyes through the line of kids to try and find his girl. He knew she was here, he had dropped her off at the gates this morning on his way to work. The added bonus of having sunglasses perched high on his nose meant Evan could scan around the crowds without anyone really knowing what he was doing.

He was here to help and to work, not to try and look for his daughter, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to see that she was here and alright. Minnie was a nervous girl, this would either seem utterly terrifying or strangely fun to her and Evan wanted to know that she wasn't panicking right now.

He didn't get to finish scanning the crowds to find her before his attention was drawn to Bobby who was chatting to one of the teachers. It seemed like this was either a false alarm or only a very small, contained leak which is what they were all hoping for.

"Yes, well I think that…" Whatever else the teacher began to say went in one ear and out the other when another voice distracted Evan and stole his full attention.

"Daddy!"

A wide grin spread across Minnie's lips when she looked ahead and saw a familiar figure she had been with less than three hours ago.

Without thinking twice, Minnie pulled away from the line she was stood in with the rest of her class. She didn't care that she accidentally nudged one of the younger kids beside her or that people were looking at her- something she absolutely hated. All she cared about was getting to Evan.

Her plats bashed against her cheeks as she weaved around her classmates and scuttled across the playground, almost tripping twice in her haste to get to her dad.

The four year old was surprisingly stealth as she darted away from the rest of the class and weaved expertly before her teacher could grab her.

Evan's eyes darted to the young teacher who called out "Minnie stop!" but her words had no effect. Minnie was already within Evan's grasp.

Without thinking, Evan crouched down and scooped Minnie up before she barrelled into his legs and knocked him to the ground. He swung her round just to hear her giggle and cocooned her into his chest with one hand cradling the back of her head and his lips meshed against her temple.

When he looked over Minnie's shoulder towards her teacher, he could see the recognition in her eyes. She knew he wasn't some random stranger grabbing one of the kids in the playground. He was a relative. Minnie had stated as much when she called out to him.

He softly mouthed 'sorry' in the teacher's direction but she managed a tight-lipped smile and shook her head. Clearly Minnie wasn't absconding, she was safe and she wasn't far away, as long as Evan didn't take her away from the playground it would be alright for Minnie to be with him for a little while.

"There's my girl, you okay little mouse?" He murmured each word against her temple and bounced her a little higher on his chest as he inclined back so he could look down at her.

He loved how she began to tap her fingers against his neck and she nuzzled her nose against his, nudging his glasses higher in the process. The way her nose crinkled as she smiled made Evan's grin spread and he pressed a kiss to the end of her nose.

The team all knew that he had taken Minnie on as his own. It didn't matter that she wasn't biologically his or that he hadn't been there for the first two and a half years of her life. All that mattered was that he was here now and he loved her as if he had been in her life since the beginning.

"Yeah, why you here daddy… no fire." Minnie moved one hand to wave behind her towards the school. She wasn't sure what was happening, she had no idea why everyone was practising one of their emergency drills or why they were now watching the fire department arrive. It was too confusing.

"Ah but this is an emergency and we deal with emergencies, baby. I gotta keep you safe, don't I?"

His words made Minnie smile and she kissed his cheek before she nuzzled her cheek into his shoulder and tucked up against him. He knew what she was doing. Now that she had seen him, she wouldn't want him to leave. When he had to get back to work Minnie wouldn't want him to put her down and the longer he stood here holding her, the less cooperative she would be.

He took the time to run his hand up and down her back and pepper a few more kisses to her temple while he faced Bobby and Chimney. Trying to keep an ear out for their conversation so he knew what was happening.

He knew they didn't mind him spending a few minutes with Minnie, it would be the same if any of their kids were around while they were on a call.

When he glanced down and caught Minnie closing her eyes as she snuggled closer into him, Evan took a deep breath. He needed to put her down and get her back to her class now.

"Okay baby, are you gonna go back in line now so I can try and save the day?" He murmured each word against her ear and kissed her temple when she grumbled and tried to shake her head and curl into him a bit more. If he could, Evan would stand here all day and cuddle her. But he knew the teacher was continuously glancing over at them and he would either have to help fix the leak or pack up and go soon depending on how this situation turned out.

He couldn't stand around and cuddle his girl all afternoon, despite how desperate he was to stay here with her. And he just knew that when (Y/n) picked Minnie up this afternoon, she would be telling her mum all about Evan's visit to the school and the fire trucks she had seen.

She tried to whine when Evan hunched over and carefully set her down to her feet. He held her waist so she couldn't attach herself to his legs and he pressed a sloppy kiss to her temple.

"Be a good girl for me, hm?" She nodded shyly and looked up at him through her lashes as he kissed her cheek again before turning her in the right direction to go back to her class. "Bye little mouse."

His hands moved to his hips as he watched her trot back towards her teacher, the spring now gone out of her step as the excitement had faded.

"Didn't think she was gonna let you go." Chimney whispered softly when Evan moved to stand beside him again. He thought it best to move back towards the team so Minnie was less likely to try and follow him or keep looking at him with those big doe eyes that always made Evan cave in.

Evan snook one more glance towards his girl with a smile before he turned his back and faced Bobby. It was more for his sake than hers, if he looked at her he would be inclined to cave in and go back over there or let Minnie scamper over here. He didn't want to disrrupt her when she was at school, her day had already been flipped by this emergency evacuation outside.

When Minnie slotted back into place in line with her class, she tried to smile at her friend stood beside her in the next row. Marie knew Evan was Minnie's dad, she had said hello to him a few times when he came to pick Minnie up from school.

"That's my daddy." Minnie mumbled quietly when the girl on her other side, the older girl from the next class, looked between her and where Evan and the rest of the team were stood.

"His shirt says Buckley." The girl commented with one arched brow and an unimpressed look on her face.

Didn't she think Evan and his job was good or impressive? Did she know that Minnie's dad was here to look after them and sort out the emergency? Or did she simply not care? Whatever the reason, Minnie didn't like it. She didn't like the way the older girl was looking at her.

"So?"

What did it matter what his shirt said? It said his name, what else was it supposed to say?

"Then he's not your dad, you don't share the same name."

For a moment, Minnie was shocked that this girl knew her name, but then she remembered. They had all answered when their names were called out.

And Minnie's last name wasn't Buckley.

Why did that mean he wasn't her dad? Didn't other kids sometimes have their mum's name rather than their dads? Did Minnie need Evan's name to be his daughter?

He said he was her dad. When she asked him about it, Evan agreed and (Y/n) said so too. They said he was her dad. He brought her to school, he picked her up when he wasn't at work. He took her shopping and tucked her in bed at night and read her stories. He laid with her when she had nightmares. He kissed (Y/n) which meant he was her partner and that meant he was Minnie's dad.

"Yes he is." The defiant tone in Minnie's voice was dampened by the slight crack to her words and the tears welling up in her eyes.

She wanted to stomp her foot into the ground. She wanted to drag the older girl over to Evan and tell him to tell her that he was Minnie's dad. She wanted to demand that this girl listen to her and agree what Minnie already knew. But the older girl had already turned away to talk to her friends.

A tear trickled down Minnie's cheek as she bowed her head and began to fiddle her hands in front of her.

Evan was her dad. It was all she wanted since she could remember, it was all she knew. Everyone else had two parents and Minnie hated how Evan never used to introduce himself as her dad until a year ago. She had been beaming every single day since he started to say that he was her dad. And he started to tell people that this was his little girl. That Minnie was his little girl.

He was her dad now, wasn't he? He had to be.

***

A soft smile lit up (Y/n)'s face when she watched Minnie trotting over to her from the school doors. She watched her girl bounce her Minnie Mouse backpack on her shoulders and rush ahead of everyone else, but the closer she got, the less (Y/n) began to smile.

Her daughter didn't look happy.

Instead of rushing over to (Y/n) with open arms and a wide, dazzling smile, Minnie kept her gaze on the floor and didn't reach out for (Y/n) at all. Instead of saying goodbye to her friends or walking out with them, Minnie ignored them completely like she thought she was a shadow, a ghost, invisible.

The four year old continued walking towards the gates and when (Y/n) reached out to take her hand, she shuddered when Minnie shrugged away and stomped towards the car.

A few other parents glanced their way but no one commented. Maybe Minnie was having a tantrum about something. Whatever it was, (Y/n) didn't like it. She felt like a stone was sinking to the pit of her stomach and her heart was physically aching in her chest.

Minnie was always a nervous but very happy child. She never seemed so upset and angry and frustrated like this. She always met (Y/n) at the gates with a grin and a kiss and she would hold her hand and recite everything that happened at school.

When (Y/n) unlocked the car and opened the door, Minnie wordlessly scrambled up into the passenger seat and slumped into her car seat. She refused to look at (Y/n) as she buckled her in and when (Y/n) pressed a kiss to her temple, she gained no reaction. At all.

The silence continued as (Y/n) got in the car and put her own belt on, but when she looked over and saw her daughter staring out the window as if the world was about to end, she sighed. She pulled out the car park and began to drive.

"Minnie, baby what's wrong?"

A strike of fear punctured through (Y/n)'s heart when she looked across at her daughter and saw tears starting to trickle down her face.

Why was she crying? What had happened at school today?

Both Minnie's arms bound tight around her waist and she shuffled down in her seat until she looked like she was about to melt into a puddle. Her knees curled up towards her tummy but she finally lolled her head to the left to look over at her mum. Her button nose was scrunched up and her lips were moulded into a harsh pout, showing her clear displeasure and unhappiness.

"Did something happen at sch-"

"Why don't me and daddy have the same name?" There was no time for (Y/n) to finish speaking before Minnie cut her off.

That took (Y/n) by surprise.

She hadn't been expecting this conversation, not for a few years at least. Minnie was only four, things like different last names didn't concern her because she didn't understand about that sort of thing yet.

(Y/n) had always feared Minnie growing up and asking about her biological dad, about why she only had (Y/n). Meeting and subsequently getting into a relationship with Evan had quashed those worries because Minnie took to him instantly. She had been two and a half when Evan came into her life. (Y/n) hoped that as she grew up, she simply wouldn't remember that Evan hadn't always been in her life.

The main worry (Y/n) had about that was Minnie looking through old baby photos and asking why there was no photo of Evan holding her as a baby.

She and Evan hadn't talked about this. They hadn't talked about what they wanted to do regarding telling Minnie things, about whether they wanted to tell her that Evan wasn't her biological dad or whether they just wanted to continue in blissful ignorance and hope she never questioned it.

Drumming her fingertips on the steering wheel, (Y/n) sank her teeth down int her lower lip and tried to think up a good response to that.

"Well… because- because you have my name." Did it truly matter why she didn't share Evan's name? Where was this suddenly coming from?

"Then he's not my daddy." The defiant yet broken tone to Minnie's voice shattered something in (Y/n)'s chest and when she looked over at her daughter and saw she was crying, (Y/n) felt even worse.

Evan was her dad in every way that mattered, in all ways that it counted. So what if they didn't have the same last name? So what if he hadn't been there at the beginning? He had been there for every moment since and he loved her. That was enough. That was what truly mattered.

"Yes he is."

A quiet, heartbroken 'no' fluttered past Minnie's lips as more tears continued to cascade down her face. The sight of Minnie's distress tore something inside of (Y/n) and she pulled over and turned the car off so she could give her daughter her full attention and turn to face her.

"Why are you asking about this, baby? What happened at school today?" There was no anger in (Y/n)'s tone and no hint of annoyance, she wasn't irritated, she was worried.

Minnie seemed to look around the car for something to focus on before she sighed and looked up at (Y/n) with those deep pooling eyes. "Someone said t-that he's not my daddy because I have a different name."

"That's not true. Nana doesn't have your last name, but she's still your nana isn't she?"

"Why don't we have his name?"

"Because me and daddy aren't married baby."

Minnie seemed to contemplate it, but she didn't seem satisfied. This was really bugging her and (Y/n) could see why. Jee had Chimney's last name. Denny had a double barelled last name to combine Hen and Karen's names. A lot of the kids in her class had married parents with the same names. Minnie felt like she was missing out or like something was wrong simply because their situation was a little different.

But she was afraid. She didn't want anyone telling her Evan wasn't her dad because she wanted him to be. She was desperate for him to be her dad because she loved him and he loved her too.

A sigh tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips as she ran her fingers through her hair and tilted her head back as she tried to think.

There was one thing that might just calm Minnie down and reassure her, but it was something that (Y/n) hadn't had the time or the chance to talk to Evan about yet. She had a distinct gut feeling that Evan would want this, that he would be alright with it. And if it was something that would make Minnie feel secure and chase those worries away, then even better.

"What if we make it official, what if- if daddy adopts you?" Then it would be official. Evan would be on her file in the school, they could ring him if there were any emergencies or problems. He would be on her file at the doctors and could take her to appointments. He would be her legal guardian in case anything ever happened to (Y/n).

"What that mean?"

"That means you take daddy's name, and that he's your parent on paper, it would be official. Would you like that?"

As quick as anything, Minnie wiped away the tears from her eyes and sat up straighter in her seat. She began to nod her head frantically and reached her hands across to grab (Y/n)'s hand.

She could have his name. She could be a Buckley too and when she told people that Buckley was her last name, they would know who her dad was. They would know that Evan was her dad and they would have some paper to say it. No one could contest it then or try and ruin everything. It would be legal and on paper.

That sounded better. That sounded perfect.

***

"You're not working this weekend, right?"

A strange smile flooded Evan's face as he tilted his head down to look at (Y/n). He arched a brow down at her while his knuckles began to tap against the headboard out of habit.

He began to glide his free hand along the bare expanse of her shoulders and down the groove of her spine while his other arm stayed locked behind his head, keeping him propped up. The room was cast in darkness, the only source of light being the bleak silver glow coming from the tv that was playing an old movie neither of them were paying any attention to.

"No, why? What'd you have in mind?" He continued to trace his fingers along her spine while (Y/n) rested her chin on the centre of his chest. And her arms loosely draped around his waist so she was lying on top of him.

"It's Fathers day… Minnie has a surprise for you."

(Y/n) felt the way Evan sucked in a deep breath and a curious look flooded his baby blue eyes that never left hers.

They hadn't really celebrated Father's day last year when Minnie was three. She didn't fully understand what it meant and Evan had been on a week of double shifts. Plus, they hadn't long moved in together and (Y/n) didn't want to make Evan feel like things were moving too fast.

But Minnie had latched on to him now and she was calling him her dad and he had taken that role willingly. So every Father's day from now on, they would be celebrating and Minnie would be giving Evan gifts.

"A surprise?" There was a glimmer in Evan's eyes and a smile pulled at his lips. He liked surprises, but he didn't like having to wait for them. He was an impatient person by nature and waiting wasn't something Evan was very good at.

When he ducked forward and stole a kiss from her lips, (Y/n) shifted up slightly so she could cup the side of his face and incline closer. She felt him murmur "I like the sound of that," against her lips and it made her smile.

He was happy. He wasn't angry or unsettled or nervous. He was okay with this. She just hoped he would be okay with the present they had gotten for him.

Anticipation bubbled throughout (Y/n)'s nerves when she heard the unmistakeable sound of Minnie's bedroom door opening. When she heard those little feet bashing against the carpet, undoubtedly racing towards their room, (Y/n) sat up.

She stretched her arms above her head and crossed her legs beneath her on the bed while Evan made a small sound but didn't fully wake up.

She knew Minnie wouldn't stay in bed for very long this morning. The four year old was far too excited to give Evan his presents and spoil him for the day. She was excited to see his reaction.

A yawn escaped (Y/n)'s lips just as the bedroom door flung open and Minnie bounded in. She clambered on the end of the bed and scuttled up until she could flop directly onto Evan's chest, since he had been laid on his back, sleeping soundly.

"Morning daddy!"

Something akin to a cough mixed with a groan spluttered past Evan's lips when he felt Minnie flop harshly onto his chest. His bleary eyes shot open and he gruffly moved his arms until they were encased around her and his hand was cradling the back of her head.

"Hi baby," He mumbled quietly and tilted his head up so he could look at her. It took him a few seconds to blink and work out what was going on, but once he remembered what day it was, a spark of adrenaline coursed through his chest. His surprise. That was why Minnie was so excited, she wanted to give him something.

His hand began to feather up and down her back and he pressed a quick kiss to her temple before he looked to the left. He watched (Y/n) as she got up to open the curtains so they could all see what they were doing, but he was glad when she perched back down on the bed.

She sat cross-legged so she was facing them both and Evan's stomach tightened when he realised she was wearing one of his shirts. He hadn't noticed what she had been wearing when he came home from work last night. He simply crawled into bed and attached himself to her as quickly as he could.

(Y/n) uttered a soft "Morning," as she leaned over and pecked Evan's temple while her hand grazed along his cheek and down his neck.

"I made you something."

Evan wanted to sit up, but it was rather hard when Minnie was laid on top of his chest, effectively pinning him down. And although he could easily push up and move her, he didn't want to just yet.

He stayed lying down against the pillows and began carding his fingers through her slightly knotted hair while she leaned across the bed to find the card she had brought in with her. Once she had the lilac card within her grasp, she turned and waved it in front of him until he reached his free hand out to take it from her.

"Is that me?"

Minnie nodded excitedly when Evan motioned to the drawing on the front of the card. She had drawn him in his work uniform with a large helmet on his head and a fire raging in the background.

He knew the italic writing was (Y/n) where it said Happy Father's Day along the top, but it was Minnie's large block writing along the bottom that said 'my daddy'. There were a few splotches of glitter blobbed around the edges and when he opened it up, he grinned. Minnie had drawn a large blue heart on the inside of the card.

A few years ago, Evan never would have thought he would get to have a family, it always seemed like something he desperately wanted but never quite managed to get for himself. He didn't think he would be laid here now, celebrating his first father's day with the two girls that had stolen his heart for themselves.

(Y/n) gently leaned forward and subtly brushed away the tear that had welled up in the corner of Evan's eye.

"It's beautiful, thank you baby." Evan leaned forward to press a wet kiss to Minnie's cheek which caused her smile to radiate and beam back at him. He already knew that he would be taking this with him to work, this would be going up in his locker so he could see it every day when he came to work.

"You get a present too." The broad smile on Minnie's face made Evan's heart flip as he leaned over to set the card down on the side table.

"Oh I do, what is it?" He grinned curiously and moved both hands to grip her waist so he could move her a little.

He nudged her down while he pushed up so he was finally sitting up. He couldn't concentrate properly when he was laid down like that, he needed to be sitting up and fully alert. He shuffled back until his head was against the headboard and he let Minnie scramble up so she could sit down on his lap. His hands stayed on her waist and his head inclined towards (Y/n) while he looked between them both for one of them to tell him what this surprise present was.

He had been waiting all week for this and he was happy to finally find out what they had gotten him.

An unsettling amount of adrenaline and anticipation bubbled up inside of (Y/n) as she turned and leaned over to rummage around in her bedside drawer where she had safely hidden Evan's present.

She slid the large envelope over to Minnie who then held it out to Evan like it was some kind of otherworldly offering.

Evan arched one brow and his lips quirked up into a grin as he took the envelope from her. She had decorated it well. There were hearts and stars stuck all over the envelope and 'daddy' was written in large blue crayon across the centre.

He couldn't think for the life of him what this present could be. Was it some kind of certificate? Was it some kind of mini break for them all to go on or a trip? Was it a picture of him and Minnie? Possibilities ran through Evan's mind as he stared at the envelope for a few seconds, trying to decide what he was betting it could be.

He couldn't imagine what it would be so he flipped it over and carefully peeled the envelope open.

His brows furrowed and a confused smile pulled at his lips as he reached inside, but he wasn't expecting to find a stack of papers.

What on Earth had they got him?

It took a moment or two for Evan's brain to try and catch up with him but as he scrolled over what he was reading, he couldn't make much sense of it. All of their names were on this document at some point, whatever it was, but he couldn't fathom it out. It was too early in the morning for his brain to be reading jargon like this.

"What is it?" The smile that played on his lips made (Y/n) grin, though she tried to supress it.

She liked how he smiled and that gentle tone to his voice that showed he was trying not to sound ungrateful. He simply didn't know what he had been given and (Y/n) didn't expect him to either. She knew this would come as very out of the blue for him.

Before (Y/n) could answer, Minnie started to giggle and her hands patted against Evan's torso before she became too excited to wait for him to work it out.

"It means you're mine now!" The sheer joy in her voice caught Evan off guard and his wide eyes looked down at her just before she lunged.

Her arms encased around his neck and she bashed forward into his chest, causing him to rattle back against the headboard with a bang. His left arm deadlocked around her waist, securing her against his chest that ached and now felt breathless while his other hand gently shook the papers towards (Y/n) so she would explain for him.

He attached his lips to the top of Minnie's head, smiling despite his confusion while his girl began to giggle and laugh into his neck.

(Y/n) could feel her palms beginning to sweat as she inched closer so she was knelt beside Evan's thigh and she gently reached out to take the papers from him and place them on her pillow so they were out the way. She carefully took his hand, entwining their fingers together while she looked down at the few tattoos on his arm so she didn't overthink this too much and begin to panic.

"It's um, adoption papers, if… if you want to of course."

There. She'd done it. She'd braved the big question. All that was left was to pray that this was really what Evan wanted too. (Y/n) prayed she hadn't read this situation wrong, that Evan wouldn't drag her to one side and say this was too much, too sudden, too overwhelming for him. She knew taking on a child was a big thing and this meant long term commitment.

It meant changes in every way, in every aspect of Evan's life, but (Y/n) was sure that this was something he would be okay with, that this was something he would want.

When she finally lifted her eyes from staring at his arm to look over at him, she was stricken to the spot when she saw tears glistening in his eyes and one or two slithering down his reddened face.

But her jaw dropped and was left gaping when Evan sat forward and squeezed Minnie tighter to his chest. He burrowed his lips and nose into her hair and closed his eyes, breathing her in for a moment as he tried to regulate his system and calm down before he got too excited.

"So you're officially my girl now?" His voice was quiet, but the affirmation in his tone was enough to have tears building up in (Y/n)'s eyes too.

He felt Minnie nodding and squirming against his chest as she burrowed tighter into him while he started to pepper kisses against her hair. And she began to laugh when she heard him mumbling 'my daughter' into her hair.

When Minnie wriggled against his chest and started to squeeze him tighter, (Y/n) noticed Evan wince a little and he adjusted Minnie so she was leaning against the left side of his chest rather than the right.

"Are you okay?" (Y/n) leaned across to kiss his cheek and she perched her chin on his shoulder while her arm slithered around his back. He hadn't said he'd hurt himself on shift yesterday but he looked like something was giving him a bit of pain.

Her chest tightened and she tried to stop herself from smiling when Evan turned his head and caught her in a feverish kiss. It almost felt like he was trying to bruise her lips with how desperately he was leaning into her and the feeling of his teeth nipping at her lower lip made her gasp into his mouth.

When he pulled back, he nodded to her question and looked between both girls.

"I guess it's a good time to show you something I've got for you, little mouse."

"Something for me?" Hope flooded Minnie's voice as she sank back onto Evan's thighs and looked at him with sparkles glittering in her eyes.

(Y/n) looked at Evan with a puzzled expression. Why did he have something for Minnie? This was their day to spoil him, not the other way around. And he didn't exactly have anything around the room that might be for Minnie, so (Y/n) couldn't think what he was referring to.

A bewildered look flooded (Y/n)'s eyes and she smiled despite her confusion when Evan leaned away from her so he could scrunch up the bottom of his shirt in his hands. (Y/n) and Minnie both watched with intrigue and sheer confusion plastered across their faces as Evan tugged off his shirt and tossed it somewhere on the floor.

(Y/n) wasn't sure what he was doing or why he had such a devilish yet somehow insecure smile playing on his lips.

And when Minnie gasped and surged forward, (Y/n) had no idea what had caught her attention.

But then she saw it.

A new tattoo.

On the right side of his chest beneath his collar bone, Evan had Minnie inked in Disney letters on his chest. And above the writing, there was a pair of Minnie Mouse ears and the signature red bow settled between them right above the name.

He'd gotten a tattoo for Minnie. Maybe he hadn't known what they had got him for Father's day, but he sure had some spiked sense of intuition because this fit perfectly with the gift they had gotten him.

Minnie was officially going to be his daughter now. She would take his name, and he had hers tattooed on his chest.

[moodymisty]

So requests are in so imagine this:

You're on a planet that has not had contact with the imperium. You keep having these recurring wet dreams about this large red dude. The last dream that you had he tells you to pack up your things because he's arriving soon and as his beloved you'll be coming with him. You chalk it up as just another weird dream but you're going to find those dreams were telling the truth.

Author's note: OOOOOO i love this idea!!!!! I'm not proud of the middle of this one, but I think it turned out ok.

Relationships: Magnus/Fem!Reader (one mention of 'cunt' but no pronouns are used)

Warnings: Lewd but not very descriptive NSFW, Mind sex, Wet dreams

"Still not finished?"

You feel breathless, hands roaming all over your body. It feels like there's one, then three, then two and four, all caressing your skin simultaneously. They brush over your chest, then your waist, then hips. You can barely make sense of anything, colors and shapes all come in and out of focus faster than you can understand them.

Though over it all you can hear his voice crystal clear, see the outline of his face as his lips trail across your skin and his flowing red hair curtains either side of your vision.

Every part of your body feels, amazing. You can't pinpoint a part or place just, even your mind itself somehow tingles with pleasure indescribable with any words you know. Everything around you both is too unimportant for your mind to focus on, but you think there's stars, nebulas and planets swirling.

"You are such a strong little thing, to keep up for this long."

His voice is always thick like honey, slathering over your mind. You skin tingles delightfully warm- you feel like you're floating in water, but also being held in a pair of arms at the same time.

"I will be there for you soon."

You wake up moments later, coming face to face with a sun already quite bright. You press your cheek deeper into the pillow and sigh.

You've slept in again.

Your body is slightly damp with sweat, the blankets tangled around you. When you move to sit up and attempt to dislodge yourself from them, you can feel the stickiness of your underwear against you, damp from your own juices.

The dreams are odd; But they're nice. You wonder what's changed to make them so coherent and consistent. They're becoming habitual, expected; A bit odd, but as long as they don't interfere with your life, you suppose they can stay.

If only you know what spurred them on, you think before slipping out of bed to clean yourself before rushing out into the world.

"You are still so eager, has none of this tired you yet?"

This dream feels rougher this time, your body feels so much more tired. Your legs feel like they're stretched wide, as you take something far wider than you could think was possible.

"I am almost there. I promise you before your sun falls, I will have you in my arms. Have your things ready by then."

You don't think on what he says; It's all a mindless, formless dream anyways. You only look up into a swirling mass of red your mind just can't quite bring to clarity. It's too distracted, focused on the tension in your gut as you cry out-

You jolt awake, breath heavy as the moan you were in the middle of letting out is suddenly cut short. Your cunt is still throbbing around nothing, but with it is the ache of stretch that seems- is- impossible.

You groan at the feeling of satisfaction in your gut, but also a headache. You attempt to forget the dream quicker than the others in some misplaced sense of embarrassment. No one knows, but these dreams feel so real, they linger even in the real world through the ghosts of sensation on your body.

You slip from your bed and walk to the balcony, peeking outside. Up in the sky you see the ships are still there, moored in the outer atmosphere. They linger as vague shapes, only the largest- an absolutely gargantuan ship- clearly visible.

They had first arrived a few days ago, instantly confronting your capital city. Their size and strength had been more than apparent, and your planetary leaders had wisely chosen not to fight such a formidable threat. The acquiesced leadership quite quickly, and any resistance to the notion was quelled just as quick.

You haven't seen much of them other than the stray group of their inhumanly large soldiers and their gleaming, brightly colored armor; Trouncing through the city with weapons in their arms. No one gave the any trouble, so they seemed amicable enough. You never got close enough to find out more intimately.

You don't know why their accent felt so familiar though, as well as the symbols etched into their armor.

You have to take a trip to the main palace to deliver yet another dress to your lord and lady that reside there, hefting it over your shoulder and avoiding eye contact with the guards.

The shift in leadership of your planet is less important, when you need food to eat. Many less fortunate felt the same.

Some of your people's guards still remain, though many are replaced by these new, much larger men. If they're permanent or temporary, you don't know.

They almost all have their helmets on, but you feel like they stare at you a bit oddly. For a moment you wonder if they even look human underneath the oddly shaped armor, but the thought is squashed as you keep yourself small and shuffle by- delivering the dress to your mistress who tries it on with no complaints. She keeps it, and leaves you to walk through the halls alone again.

It's a large palace, many of the lords and ladies live hoddled in the safety of it's defenses.

The sounds of footsteps are so loud somewhere in the halls, you figure it must be a squad of those massive men. There isn't a way out apart from this way or the way you came, so you only hope to make yourself look small and not worth messing with.

"Father, why are we going this way? Is the thunderhawk not-"

You turn a corner, and directly down the hall is a whole squad of those men; Though one of them that stands a whole few heads taller in-between them all. The difference in height alone has you frozen, if he was only a tad taller, you'd reckon he'd be far too big for even the most vaulted rooms.

As you stare stupefied his eye locks with yours, and his neutral expression turns to one of much more fondness.

You freeze.

"Ahh, there you are. How lovely that you came to me first."

His men who unlike their fellows outside are without helmets, look at you oddly. You are far too entranced to notice however, like the shock is pulling you in.

He's real.

The voice in your dreams, the floating, abstract shape of a man that had lingered in your dreams for months on end was real. Conversations, entire monologues, the most toe curling, mind shattering pleasure you'd ever felt, all of it wasn't just concocted in your mind? How?

"Leave me for a moment."

He looks to his men, who seem horribly confused. Though he only has to repeat himself once before they hesitantly take their leave and shuffle off.

"You..."

You can barely manage to mumble out, staring at him as he approaches. The aura that entrances you only seems to get worse as he comes closer. Besides his visage itself being a shock- you barely reach his hips. He either doesn't seem to notice or care, looking down on you with a gentle smile. Your chest feel tight enough to halt your breathing, something about him is so greatly and unfathomably inhuman.

"You leave your mind so unguarded. It was so easy to find you."

He kneels, taking your chin in his massive hand and turning your face to look at him. His expression brightens a little bit at the gesture, like learning something new.

"Ahh, you are softer than I could have even guessed. It is so nice to feel your skin in person."

You feel like you know him, you have distant, faded memories of him speaking to you in your dreams for what felt like hours, but yet your face still heats up like you've never met him at all.

"I know your name little one, do you remember mine?"

Magnus.

"Yes, that's it."

You almost jolt a bit. You had only just remembered it, but he seemed to know it like he was still in your head. He smiles happily.

"Why are you here?"

It's such a vague, dumb question, but he seems amused by your stupidity.

"My legion is here to annex your green little planet into the Imperium. I, however, am here for you." He continues. "You are a beautiful little mind that is far too strong for me to just leave here. No one here will appreciate it the way I can."

His thumb brushes across your bottom lip, tugging it slightly.

"Tell me, do you have your things ready?"

Your things?

"Yes, my love. I told you to have them ready for when I came for you. Or were you too distracted coming for me to remember?"

It takes you a moment to realize what he meant, and your face heats up like the flash of a pan. He chuckles, a deep one that rumbles your chest. Why do you feel so shocked by him calling you his love, but also have a sense of familiarity to it?

"It's ok, we have time. My sons are still making sure your world complies with our demands."

You feel scared; You feel like you're standing on the edge of a cliff, but also, excited. You feel like you don't know him at all, but you feel a pull like a collapsing star that brings you closer to him.

"Can... Can I bring my books?"

Magnus laughs, moving to use both massive hands to cradle your jaw. Your head is almost lost in their size, but the gesture is gentle and fond.

"Of course, my love," He says, smiling. He chuckles shortly thereafter.

"Oh, you are going to love Tizca."

[marilynthornhilllover]

Can you please write rough smut for grey hair Emily Prentiss that’s just… total shameless filth😭 like choking, breeding kinks, semi public sex (in her office)

I could eat that girl for lunch

Emily prentiss x Fem!reader

Warning: smut 18+, breeding kink, semi public sex, breast kink, spitting kink, choking kink, praise kink, mommy kink, one slap, slight cunniligus, fingering, slight strap fucking, etc.

A/N: oh I lost it with this one🤭enjoy sorry it took so long 😭

You knew it was wrong to think of your boss Emily in such a way.... but God damn it. You just couldn't control yourself anymore. I mean come on she's the Emily prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, who wouldn't be obsessed with her, sorry in love with her. She was insufferable, almost irresistible like a drug. The way she would bite her lips when ever she laughed or was focused on something very important.

Or The way she held her hands in her pockets and stood against door frames or leaned against desks. The way her hips would sway whenever she struts down the hallway towards her office and finally, the way she looks at you. The way this woman would look at you was everything. Her eyes, they were always glued to you when you were busy doing your work. She thought you didn’t notice her but gaze detection is a real thing that works.

Emily would stare at you as if she wanted to devour you. And it always made you weak. It made your skin get heated and your mind go dizzy. You couldn’t focus when her eyes were on you, it was as if every cell in you wanted to explde. The time you wore a strapless shirt to work because it was too hot out, and for the entire day she couldn't find the decency to stop her eyes from roaming over your collarbone and shoulders, and the other time you wore a mini skirt and a top that had a zip in the middle that was pulled down just enough to see your cleavage. She went nuts.

Emily knew of your angel face, but she didn’t let that fool her. She knew you had dirty thoughts of her, you even went as far as making a dirty jokes about her. One time she overheard Jennifer asking you if you were to fuck anyone in the office who would you fuck and you had chosen 'Emily'.

You always had a thing for older women, and everyone in the office knew, so maybe it’s obvious that you had quite a massive crush on your boss as well. You heard rumors of Emily being “ talented” with her tongue and “skilled” with her fingers. You did have the privilege to meet one of Emily’s ex-girlfriends at a seasonal greeting event, and by her words “ Emily almost took her out of the world”.

You did try to do your work as best as possible and tried your very hardest to keep out of her way. And for some time it had seemed to work. Emily caught onto the drift and sensed that you were giving her the cold shoulder and the both of you stuck to strictly business and work professional procedures and encounters. But none of this stopped Emily from winking at you from time to time and even going as far as moving you aside by your waist using her hands when you were both in the kitchen getting lunch at the office.

Her hands in your waist sent electric shocks throughout your body, and each time she gave you a sly smirk. You did try to ignore her most of the time. And for a while it lasted.

So tonight you don’t know what possessed you to sneak into Emily’s office. There was a big case that was on the table and it required all hands on deck. You had decided to stay back and help Emily crack some codes but after half an hour in she left. It was pretty late, around 10:38 PM and you were exhausted. Your eyes flicked up to inspect your surroundings because sometimes people break into police departments to steal evidence.

That’s when you saw her that her office light was on and had decided to go turn it off and then after you would finish pack up and then leave . It wasn’t the first time being in her office, but it was the first time alone, by yourself….. with just her stuff. Her jacket was thrown on the back of her chair and a couple of her personal belongings sprawled out on her desk. You had already checked for cameras and any audio devices, there were none. So you took off your pants and panties, shirt and bra leaving yourself completely naked in your boss office.

Absolutely downright crazy, bat shit crazy. You sit in her chair and gently began fingering yourself at a slow pace, but quickly increased it as you became more desperate and needy. Your eyes were tightly shut closed, as your hand worked it’s magic down between your legs. All that can be heard was the wet sounds your cunt was making when you thrusted your fingers in your pussy, your weak hoasty moans and your loud and elaborate breathing as you neared your peak.

Your orgasm washed over you almost knocking you out of the chair and onto the floor causing you to topple over yourself . Your eyes hastily as you swallowed thickly and bit your lips.

“ well” a voice says, half disappointed half surprised. Your eyes snap up towards the entrance of the office to see Emily standing there. Her expression was unreadable. You felt all the blood drain from your face as your entire body freezes with both fear and shame. Emily smirked at you before she took a step into the room, closing and locking the door behind her ( you forgot to close the door?!) . She took slow strides towards the table as she pushed her hands into her pocket.

“ you know I really thought you were just a shy little good girl who knew her worth and knew how to ask for things…. But I guess I was totally wrong wasn’t I?” She asked, carefully walking around the desk, she stopped and stood in a position where she was pressing all her weight on one foot as she titled her head, inspecting you. She chuckled silently and further approached you.

“ could have fooled me babe” she says plainly, she then grabs you by your jaw and forces your face upwards to look at her. Still you remain frozen. A part of you couldn’t believe you had gotten into this situation and another part wanted to curl up into a ball and completely disappear for all eternity, never to be seen again.

“ look at you, I stood there for over 20 minutes, all in which you did nothing but fuck yourself senseless to the thought of me, don’t you see it now y/n your my slut” she says, purring the last two words, that may have reheated something in you because you need her all over again.

“ uh oh, what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Or did you lose your voice after screaming my name so loud? Oh Emily , fuck yes Emily, fuck me Emily” she mocked you and that’s when a realization of being naked hits you. You were completely bare before this woman. In her own office. Such a shame.

Emily’s eyebrow quirked in amusement as she looked at you shy away from her and look everywhere but into her dark eyes. She took the opportunity to look at your body intensely. With a silent hum her eyes wondered down your chest, stoping to look at your breast and how perked your nipples were. She then moved further down your body and her eyes landed on your vagina, from the way you were sitting she couldn’t see much but just the thought of fucking it got her going.

In one swift moment Emily grabbed you by your waist and tossed you onto the desk. You whined at the sudden action and prompted yourself up onto your elbows to remove some objects from behind of your back before you proceeded to lay down. Your legs opened up involuntarily which caused Emily to smirk as she stood between them causing them to spread even wider. Regardless of your previous orgasm you were already so desperate for this woman’s touch.

Emily took off her jacket and soon everything else went with it. She was bare in just her pants alone. You wanted her to remove it but you were too mesmerized by her stern breast to give a shit. Her pants were high waisted but allowed you to see her toned abs a little. God you wanted her so badly. Your shaking hands made their way up to her skin and you gently placed your hand on her abs admiring them, god she must work out real good. For a moment you thought that you were lost in heaven until you felt her remove your hand.

“Getting touchy now are we? That’s slutty behavior” she laughed, she loved teasing you and seeing you squirm beneath her. This wasn’t the first time Emily had you under this choke hold. There were many other times where she was able to get under you skin….. but those are stories for another time. She leaned down and hovered her lips over your mouth, contemplating if she should give into you or let you go crazy over her some more. Even though Emily could see the pleading look in your eyes she knew better than to give the devil what she wanted.

Emily chuckled as she removed a strand of hair from your already sweaty forehead to behind your ear. Her hand stayed there, behind your neck, for a while her grasp tightening every few seconds which caused you to release a quiet moan from your throat. Emily looked down at you in deep thought before her eyes flicked down to your lips. Her thump caressed your jaw for a little while before she spoke.

“ open your mouth” her request definitely caught you off guard but the way she said it made your thighs clench but you remember that she was laying between them, making it hard to do so. You looked up at her confused as your breathing got shallow. You gulped and did as she asked. For a while she did nothing but then she opened her mouth and slowly poured her saliva into your mouth.

You were a little disgusted because back in high school you were always the one to say that you’d never allow anyone to do this to you but things have changed, it’s Emily fucking prentiss. Sorry. It’s mommy. And something about this just turned you on more because you could feel the slick that was pooling between your thighs from your pussy. Emily stopped and watched you close your mouth. She gave you a look and you knew what she was asking without words. You swallowed. She then started kissing you. It was rough but slow at the same time, she made you feel as though you had all the time in the world.

She broke the kiss before you even had a chance to deepen it as she moved down to your breast. She left pecks all across your chest, small sucks and bites that will most definitely leave marks later on, not that you care. She continued her assault until she moved down to your nipple. She swirled her tongue around the small bud first before she looked up at you with mischievous eyes before then enveloped the entire bud into her mouth. Your head fell back and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to just feel. She abused the small bud by gently biting it and sucking on it like a baby enjoying your moans.

Her hand fondled with the other neglected breast as the other made it’s s way down to your pussy, Emily knew you weren’t paying attention to her works so without notice she carefully pulled your lace pink panties to the side and inserted two fingers at the same time without warning. Your back arched as your eyes rolled back. Your hands immediately flew to the edge of the table for support. Emily smirked and released your nipple with a ‘ pop ’ sound as saliva made a bridge from her mouth to the bud to which she broke by licking her lips.

“ that’s it baby, just like that? You like when mommy gives you what you want without you having to ask her?” You couldn’t even respond to her, your mind was clouded with her insufferable praises, perfume and god did her fingers do a number on you. Everytime her digits slid out of you and back in her lips twitched. The sound of your cunt squelching against her fingers and your petty moans and grunts as your body began to spams made Emily want to do more despicable things to you until you couldn’t walk.

“ fuck so good, this is squeezing my fingers so fucking good baby, I wish I had a fucking real cock to split you open with, get you pregnant with my babies, you’d like that huh?” She whispered, increasing her pace as she curled her fingers deeper into you cunt, touching your g-spot every few seconds as she buried her fingers knuckle deep into you. You could feel your skin heat up as a familiar feeling of pleasure built up within your lower abdomen. Your hips bucked up towards every thrust of her fingers as your hand grabbed her wrist to slow her actions, you wanted to last longer to prove to her that you weren’t just some cum hungry slut. But that would be pointless because you are just a cum hungry slut.

But with her praises and her fingers moving at the speed of light it was truly impossible. You tried to pull it off a little longer but you couldn’t.

“ I feel you clenching me so tight baby, let it go for mommy, I wanna feel you drench my fingers so bad baby” she purred in your ear, her breath hot against your skin, and with that sentence you came for her. You eyes rolled back and you could feel your juices pouring out of you and onto her fingers. Emily kept fucking you drawling out every whimper, twitch and cry that you had to give. You were completely dumbstruck and spiraling.

You felt as she withdrew herself from between your legs as the sound of her jeans being removed. You stayed there trying to catch your breath. You looked down to Emily and that’s when you see her pulling off her pants completely, a strap around her waist. It was a clear light purple with small glitter pieces in it and it was huge. Without even realizing you tried to back away from her but Emily was two steps ahead, catching onto what your intentions were she pulled you back down by your ankles and forced your legs apart.

Emily placed her hands under your knees and pushed them up above your chest. You’ve never seen any strap that big or long and you anticipated how well she’d fuck you with it for your first time. It was as if you became a virgin again.

“ why are you running now darling? You wanted mommy to fuck you so badly when you were in here all by yourself. Your gonna take it like a good girl now” her tone was so dark and seductive it made your skin crawl and your insides burn with desire.

She pinned your hands above your head and slowly sank the tip of her cock into you forcing a moan out of you. Your eyes slammed shut as you tried to focus on the stretch, the way she made the pain and the pleasure mix so good. She let loose of your hands and gently started choking you. The deeper she buried herself within you the more your eyes would roll back and your legs would quiver. You desperate pleas of moans and cries filled the room as Emily started thrusting into you with full force. Deep and fast the tip bruising your sweet spot every time.

Emily angled her hips ever so slightly, just enough to push her cock up against your cervix. Gently at first, but when she heard the mewl that escaped your mouth at her action and the way your body convulsed it became rougher each time. You trembled as she kept thrusting into you.

“ oh— oh GOD— Emily please, fuck I can’t TAKE IT ANYMORE” you cried but it fell on death ears. You tried to close your thighs to eliminate how well her cock drives into you but Emily’s grip on your neck made you mind mush. Continuing your attempt you tried to move away from her but that resulted in you getting a hard smack across your face as she choked you much rougher. Her nails digged into the flesh out your waist as she started pounding your pussy brutally whispering insults that you couldn’t quite hear due to your moans and the sound of her thighs connecting with your slick.

“ fuck that’s it, right there? Mhm? Right fucking there” she cooed as she pushed your legs further apart and circled her hips as she made her thrust more curved. Your body began to tremble and Emily chuckled as she looked down at the white circle ring around her cock. She felt as your body tensed up and you let out a pornographic moan of her name. She kept thrusting after you came until you whined and pushed her away with a hand on her abs. She pulled out and kneeled down eye level with your cunt.

She cleaned up the mess with her tongue. Cautiously sucking and pulling at your clit until you pushed her head away. She smiled at her work and at herself and looked up at you. Your chest raised and fall with every breath you took and your thighs were still shivering. She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before whispering.

“ round two? We’ve got all night and I’m sure i recall you saying your flexible….”

[candiiee]

ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ ✧.*

summary: Izuku as your hallyway crush!!

warnings: none!

an: this takes place in middle school

How on earth could someone be this cute??? Like look at him! With his fluffy green hair and pretty doe eyes and freckles, Izuku Midoriya was your hallway crush.

Though one thing you didn't understand was why was he shunned? You had heard he was quirkless, but still. He had the cutest face ever, how could they not like him?? You kept your crush to yourself though. No need to get bullied. But that didn't mean you couldn't woo and endlessly pin for him.

Izuku always had the weird sense he was being watched. That was really weird, right? Who would want to watch him? He knew there were some people who deserved to be watched, like Kachan! With his strong quirk, and good looks. Izuku had no quirk, and zero good looks. So there was no way anyone watched him. With these thoughts circulating, he opened his locker, and was surprised to see a piece of paper, with a little heart drawn onto it, and a simple message.

you're really pretty. <3

It made a brilliant blush spread onto his freckled cheeks, this was a prank, right? No way a girl or guy, or anyone, could think he was pretty! It was impossible! He frantically glanced around the almost empty hallway, waiting for Kachan and his friends to jump out of a closet, filming him.

When that didn't happen, still a little wary, Izuku put the note into his pocket, the blush starting to fade. Well, if it wasn't a prank, it didn't hurt to keep it, right?

You watched him frantically glance around the empty hall, probably wondering who had left the note. You stifled a little squeal, glad to be able to make him blush. Honestly, it just made him even prettier. This was a pretty bold move, coming from you, but you wanted to! He should know he was pretty! He just made you want to squish his face, and make him blush even more!

Maybe some chocolates would do the trick? People liked that, right? Maybe you could ask him? The idea made you flush, how could someone even casually ask that? "Hey, what's your favorite chocolate?" That really sounded stupid. You didn't want him to think you were stupid. That'd be mortifying.

You paused, maybe some simple chocolate kisses could work? You mulled it over, finally deciding to do just that.

How.. did chocolate kisses get into his locker? There was no way someone could slip them into the tiny slot at the top. Unless.. they had a quirk? Maybe a teleportation one, capable of transporting small objects? Perhaps one that could change the properties of an object, making it small enough to get it through the slot? The possibilities were endless!

He started to mutter, or maybe they were creepy and knew his locker code? He flushed, if they knew his code, that meant that they paid attention to him as he opened his locker, and memorized his code! If they did, that was a little creepy, but the thought that they paid extra attention, made him a little giddy. He shook his head, don't be stupid! There was no way someone paid that much attention.

He noticed the note, skimming over it. It made his face explode, his face heating up.

here's some chocolates kisses cutey! <3

ps. I wouldn't mind giving you some real ones! <33

He made a few squeaking sounds, wondering if what he was reading was real. This was a trick, right? No one on their right mind would want to..kiss him, right? The idea was impossible!

You watched him, feeling ever so pleased with yourself. That note might have been a bit much, considering how red he looked. You watched him for a few more seconds, as the flush slowly faded. Which was a shame, honestly.

You wondered how long it would take till he figured it out. From what you saw, he was incredibly smart. Another reason why you liked him. Very rarely was someone good looking and had the intelligence. Plus he never called attention to himself. Though for some reason the teachers were happy to give him the spotlight when he clearly didn’t want it.

Another note.

you know, it’s really cool how much you know about heroes. <3

Izuku read the words, wondering as usual, if this was supposed to be a prank. It was well known how much he liked pro heroes. But it was considered creepy how well he knew them. Villainous even. He knew their weaknesses, their strengths, everything. But his secret admirer, if he could even call them that, thought that everything he knew about heroes was cool.

So this mystery person, thought he was pretty, and liked how much he knew about heroes. If such a person existed, he’d like to meet them. And make sure that this wasn’t a prank.

[mymoshangthoughts]

the amount i wanna explore the immortal alliance is just So Much

okay there are LAYERS to how i feel about these events

because look guys, so far as we understand, airplane is a pretty normal dude. a bit of an internet troll (ok a lot of an internet troll), a horny writer, and an immature punkass who's completely shameless, but like... he's not a mass murderer ya'll.

it KILLS ME that we never got an airplane extra about the immortal alliance because dude HOW HE FELT ABOUT THAT IS A LOT

yeah, he's grown up in this world and yeah he might have had no choice either via the system or via mobei jun or a mix of both, but its absolutely bonkers to be able to just walk off "yeah, a bunch of CHILDREN died in really brutal ways directly because of my influence". like shen yuan was wracked with guilt for years and he only 'killed' one kid and he knew that kid would walk it off.

and i dont buy the explanation that airplane wasn't treating pidw like a real world because frankly... i just dont think that makes any fucking sense if he was born there. yeah, it's gotta feel a bit wonky and unreal with the system in his head, but dude he was BORN here. suspension of disbelief that this world wasn't 'real' wouldnt last a few years, much less several decades. the sheer number of people he would have met, interacted with, and knew were REAL wouldnt make it possible. i do think that he made a huge effort not to get attached to anyone, knowing that bing-ge was gonna kill the fuck out of basically all of them, but theres a big difference between "ahh yeah that guy is gonna die so imma try not to get attached" and "lol ive lived in this world for thirty years but i dont actually think any of this is real"

so look, theres two possibilities for airplane's reaction:

he really does have a seriously fucked up side of him thats 100% okay with murdering children

he was VERY not okay with what happened but he had no choice and he's just Coping the best he can

there's also some answers in-between, but fuck i need to know this answer so badly because knowing the answer to how airplane reacted to the immortal alliance is SO character defining and it drives me insane. characterizing a person who can justify children dying because "not my problem, idc" versus someone who's horrified and traumatized over the part they played in child murder IS KINDA A BIG DIFFERENCE

personally, im coming to a headcanon somewhere in the middle. because tbh none of the airplane extras really spend any time addressing him feeling any sort of guilt over the situation. which does make it seem that he really does have a seriously dark side to him. and he did walk off his fellow disciples getting murdered by mobei jun very easily. but also, i headcanon that he is just the Master of compartmentalizing shit that fucks with him. cant deal with the events of the immortal alliance? thats fine, imma just put those feelings in a box and Never Think About Them.

i actually like to think that airplane's issue with the immortal alliance is the exact reason that mobei jun showed up in person. airplane is doing the immortal alliance thing because the system isnt giving him a choice and he's trying Very Hard not to think about "oh wow, theres gonna be a lot of junior disciples dead by the end of this haha, wow, they look so young ahhahaha, did teenagers always look like toddlers??? bc this is fucking me up REALLY FUCKING BAD" and mobei jun notices that something is Really Wrong with airplane and he cant decide if he's worried or suspicious of airplane's behavior

so he decides to show up in person, just to make sure shang qinghua isnt gonna pull anything but also that the idiot doesnt die while he's acting So Weird

but i think that airplane is like hyper pragmatic

so he's horrified in the planning stages and maybe even in the execution stages, but once it's over he's very much "they're already dead, theres no changing that, theres no point agonizing over it" and its not that he's OKAY with what happened but he literally cannot justify tearing himself apart over people who are dead because that isnt going to help anything. they're not alive to see him upset over it and even if their ghosts could see him, they're not gonna really feel better over dying bc "the guy who killed me feels really bad about it"

i also think that the years airplane spent growing up as shang qinghua play into it A LOT. he's had decades to come to terms with the immortal alliance happening. he knows its a major plot point, it's basically one of two major plot points that shang qinghua has a part in, and the system is unlikely to let him get out of it. so he's spent a longgg time numbing himself to the reality of "im going to murder dozens of children"

this is all my speculations tho and i just wanna rip my hair out that we dont have an immortal alliance extra!!!!!! i just want to KNOW instead of guessing where his head is at. literally, if he doesnt feel any guilt over murdering children, that's kinda a Big Deal characterization-wise. and if he does feel guilt but he doesnt express it thats ALSO a Big Deal characterization-wise!!!

I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY PORTRAY HIS PERSONALITY FFFFUUUCCCKKKK I HATE THIS

anyway, im obsessed with the idea that mobei jun is the one who notices when airplane is Not Okay even when he's compartmentalizing like crazy. like airplane is so far down his hole of "its nbd and idc" that he actually believes it. he has to believe it to be able to live with himself. but the way he's fucked up shows up in other ways, maybe he's more forgetful than normal or scattered or clumsier or some mixture and mobei jun just Knows something is wrong, even when he doesnt know exactly what that wrong thing is

and like it becomes this thing where sometimes mobei jun knows airplane better than the little shit knows himself. airplane is so busy lying to himself to cope with his new reality and mobei jun sees through the lies that airplane believes.

but heres where mobei jun hits a problem lol. like, he knows theres something wrong, he knows how to read shang qinghua suupperr well, but does he know what to DO about any of that? absolutely not lmfao

"hm. qinghua is not okay. i should beat him four times today" LIKE THIS MAN DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO HELP EVEN WHEN HE UNDERSTANDS THE PROBLEM AND THAT'S HILARIOUS TO ME

like mobei jun shows up to the immortal alliance like "qinghua has been in pain over this. i'll show up unplanned and beat the shit out of him in front of everyone. that'll help."

i just think these two are an absolute disaster area and i love it

btw i am desperate for mobei jun's pov during the immortal alliance okay because LOOK

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT ALOT

AND IM CONVINCED THAT MOBEI JUN /DID/ HAVE FEELINGS FOR AIRPLANE DURING THAT INCIDENT

BUT ALSO

ITS COMPLICATED

like i dont think mobei jun is simping like binghe, i think he's got some weird mixture of denial and affection and frustration and pining and hatred and suspicion thats all mixed up in all the best ways that during that time he is super in love with airplane but he's also got a lot of other Complicated feelings toward him AND I JUST WANNA SEE HIS POV TO PROVE MY HYPOTHESIS SO FUCKING BADLY WHY THE FUCK DO WE NEVER GET HIS POV IMMA SCREAM

mobei jun's fb status "its complicated"

airplane's fb status "single"

mobei jun: ...........im going to murder him. im going to murder him in his sleep. omfg i hate him so fucking much. WTF DO YOU MEAN SINGLE, YOU ASSHOLE

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Little random, but you've answered asks about Disney Princess movies before a while ago.

What are your thoughts on Frozen and Anna and Elsa?

Thoughts on Frozen

People like it, but to me it's a thoroughly "ok" film. It's far from Disney's best, not one of the worst, but sort of middle of the road. The plot's a giant mess and was clearly subject to last minute revisions (Hans's sudden villainy comes across as so sudden that it fails to make the point it was trying to make. It wasn't necessary, as the point Elsa makes isn't invalidated even if he wasn't evil and Anna still could have dropped him at the end. And we just get this "YOU FOOL, DIDN'T YOU KNOW I WAS THE MUSTACHE TWIRLING VILLAIN ALL ALONG?!" To which I can only say, "No, Hans, I didn't know that, kind of makes that scene where you left the castle to look for Anna personally very pointless. Nobody would have questioned you, dude." It makes a lot more sense when you consider Elsa was supposed to be the antagonist/misguided in initial drafts and the then desperate need for somebody to be the bad guy.)

Tangled, by comparison, is a much more put together film and in my opinion is much better, but it didn't have a hit song sung by Idina or Anna's adorable nerdiness and Elsa's general angst.

So Frozen gets to be the beloved film for over ten years on, rejuvenating the Disney brand for another generation, and I just have to sit there and take it.

(Perhaps a hot take, I'm not tuned in enough to know, but I thought Frozen 2 was much better as a film in general, much more put together/hard hitting, though it had far less memorable music/the big numbers just weren't as good. It's also a lot more hard-hitting, with none of the comedy and very little of the narrative of empowerment.)

Anna and Elsa

I do like these two and they're very believable characters who do go through character development that feels very real.

In Anna we have an isolated, awkward, young adult who is convinced that 'love' will save her, doesn't know where she stands with what was once a beloved older sister, and when she fucks things up tries to fix it without really addressing the issues she had in the first place until the very end of the movie.

She's fun, she's relatable, if short-sighted and naive, and it's clear that she does have to learn something from her adventure, and that she really didn't understand her sister and what she was going through.

In Elsa, we have someone who has been under immense pressure her entire life while also knowing that she has this terrible secret which means she will never live up to what she has to be to rule a nation. She ends up isolated from her younger sister out of terror of hurting her, which damages their relationship, and she too has growth where when we first meet her in the film, she sees coronation as only a one-day event she has to simply get over with as quickly as possible.

She's also a very relatable character, her struggle is something that speaks to a lot of people and has been iconic for over a decade for a reason, and she's refreshing in that her problems despite being a female lead have nothing to do with men and a man never enters the picture for her.

Even her moment of "WHEEEEEEEE I'M FREEE!" to Anna arriving and "NOOOOOOOOOO! ALL MY ACTIONS HAD TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES!" is a great one as Elsa is only then really forced to confront both herself, her loved ones, and finally accept who she is by the end of the film.

TL;DR

Basically, I like both characters and I think people really like them for a reason.

But I do think the movie's a hot mess.

[bettsfic]

one of the things that really stuck with me about The Bikeriders is that it's all about performative toxic masculinity, but there's no womanizer character. not a single guy who picks up women for the fun of it. there's also no casual, unquestioned infidelity, which is a staple of dudebro narratives. like obviously the badass leader guy is going to have a woman on the side, and both his wife and myriad girlfriends will just be set pieces for him with no characterization whatsoever.

on my first watch i just assumed Johnny has a wife at home and a girlfriend in the club, but then i realized the woman hanging all over him during the picnics is his wife (Betty), as evidenced by this pic from VANDALS, the photobook of the shooting of the film.

sorry for the poor quality. this is a picture of a picture.

the implication here is that Betty is supportive of the club (if not Johnny himself, as we see near the end), at least more so than Kathy, who only dresses in bikerider attire for [spoilers redacted].

it's possible in the present timeline of the film that both of their daughters have grown up and moved out. we see Johnny watching The Wild One on television, a film released in 1953, and two girls run behind him, maybe around 10 years old. the timeline of the story begins in 1963, and the last we see of Johnny's home life is 1971. by all means, their daughters might be in their 20s. in some ways, The Bikeriders is a story of middle-aged boredom.

in multiple instances, we see physical affection between married couples. Benny and Kathy, Johnny and Betty, and Brucie and Gail are all depicted at least once snuggled up beside each other. in many films, if a man is both married and faithful, we see him be at the very least physically neglectful, never touching his wife in a loving way. conversely, we never see men receiving real affection, either, unless it's been earned through the intense action of the film. and even then, it's often something he takes, not something he's given.

i was also surprised by Benny and Kathy's relationship, which i assumed would go south asap, given the intensity of it. and although there's plenty of tension between them, none of it is of the "i fell out of love with you, i regret marrying you" variety of angst. they fall in love and stay in love. and they have problems, but losing interest in each other is not one of them.

i find it very funny that Benny remains covered in dirt even when it makes no sense to be.

to me these are all markers of a story that's about toxic masculinity rather than operating from within toxic masculinity. when we're in a toxically masculine story, we're meant to buy into the fantasy of that masculinity. the protagonist is an ideal, a man who fucks around with any woman he looks at and wins fights and becomes a hero. in The Bikeriders, though, we see from the outside that Johnny is trying to craft that impossible fantasy for himself. he's performing the man he wishes he could be and it's making him miserable. and he tries to put that burden on Benny, who refuses it. Benny is his fantasy. conversely, Johnny is Benny's. they have the other on a pedestal of a male ideal that's impossible to achieve.

in this era of American history, we see increasingly intense narratives of heroism. by the 70s, the sons of WWII veterans had grown up. many men of that time looked up to their fathers as war heroes, fighting on the right side of one of the worst wars in the history of humanity, and winning. but those men were then given the Vietnam War, which arguably had no right side, no front, and no land lost or gained. most importantly, it had no clear beginning or ending*. no closure, no resolution. even outside of war, in industry the task of making something became narrower as merchant trades veered toward assembly line production rather than craftsmanship. Benny refuses to step up in part because he belongs to a generation of men who see no real fruits of their labor. conversely, Johnny is witnessing the slow degradation of honor that comes as a result of losing the concepts of resolution and completion.

*the Fall of Saigon marked the end of the Vietnam War, but by then Nixon had pulled out all US troops.

i keep reading these shallow reviews of The Bikeriders, and they're positive but they don't seem to really get it. like The Holdovers, i think so much of the nuance and meaning comes from the historical context of the action of the film, which can't really be elaborated on (you can only do so much in two hours), and so it's depicted in these broad strokes of cultural knowledge, much of which is either that the Vietnam War is simply a thing that happened, or information that is flat-out wrong. i mean, there were like 18 possible sides to this war and you can't read a single fact about it without having to analyze or consider the side it's writing from. even wikipedia is full of subtle rhetoric that indicates sympathy toward one side over the other.

people ask me a lot, "why are you researching the Vietnam War?" and the answer is that it's everywhere. its failure is woven into the fabric of American identity. it changed the very definition of masculinity, and being as we are in a patriarchal hegemony, that new definition has in turn affected everybody else. whenever i talk to any American around my age about the Vietnam War, they've got a story about it. either their father/grandfather was there or he wasn't. if he was there, that's a story. if he wasn't, that's a story too.

many of us in our 30s and 40s and 50s are gaining the expertise and audience to begin telling these stories, in an attempt to answer the question of what even happened back then, and why were our parents so cruel, and why is everyone so miserable now? and we find ourselves on impossible pedestals handed down to us from a generation defined by failure and loss.

[petalkitshadow]

Talking About: Appledusk

So, Appledusk is a character who my interpretation of probably gets questioned the most by readers. Which is understandable! He's not really an antagonist in MV; or, at least, the reader is supposed to understand in MV that while Mapleshade views him antagonistically, the narration is biased into her favor due to the story being from her POV. But the role he takes on in PkS is quite actually antagonistic to Petalpaw and her struggles.... so I thought it would be interesting to dive into it and explain my thoughts behind why I wrote him the way I did!

So - I want to start out by saying that Appledusk is a fictional character. It doesn't bother me if you like Appledusk, or view him differently than I do. I just happen to dislike him, which I think is pretty clear from how he fits into Petalkit's Shadow, lol. But even if I dislike him, I still wanted him to play an interesting role and serve his purpose, which involves making him as frustrating as possible!

When coming up with ideas for how characters will be in PkS, I often don't have much to go on. Mapleshade is really the only character from the cast who has a ton of focus in the canon books. Appledusk is one of those characters who falls a bit in a middle ground. He has enough going for him in MV that you can get a basic idea for how he is, but you still gotta do a lot of legwork on figuring out deeper aspects of his character. for PkS, I look at the characters' actions and go, "what kind of person would do this?" and then write the kind of person who I think would do that, basically.

Appledusk, he struck me as being very focused on self preservation. When he's with Mapleshade in private, he has no problem being loving to her and the kits. But the moment he might face repercussions - repercussions Mapleshade is already facing, he becomes detached and cold. What stuck out to me is how Mapleshade kept thinking that Appledusk never asked the kits' names. Now, Mapleshade as a narrator is biased. But she's right - Appledusk never asks what the names of his children are. He gives no outward signs of grief when faced with their death, and he makes no attempt to speak privately with Mapleshade after the kits drown. Of course, anger is a very valid form of grief, as we all know from Petalpaw. but Appledusk then going on to throw Mapleshade under the bus, and not show her a shred of sympathy even though he is currently suffering from the exact same prejudice that cost Mapleshade everything, speaks to me a lot about his values. When faced with his supposed loved one at her lowest, with nothing left to lose, his reaction is to distance himself from her as much as possible in the hopes that he will be punished less. It's cowardly, it's infuriating, and makes him seem so, so cruel to me.

And then, there's Reedshine. Reedshine in canon irks me a lot, in a meta sense. She's been hurt in similar ways as Mapleshade. Appledusk cheated on her too! But she immediately forgives him, and shows no conflict about Appledusk's actions. She's given no room to grieve or to hurt, she has to immediately come to Appledusk's defense. Reedshine and Mapleshade were both made to bear pain that Appledusk had no interesting in helping them shoulder.

To me, it really felt like Appledusk took the women in his life for granted. Why else would he have an affair, and not confess to it until literal, physical, damning evidence was put on display for everyone to see? Did he consider his own feelings, his own wants and desires, to be more important than that of Mapleshade, or Reedshine's? Mapleshade, with her penchant for cold-blooded murder, is definitely a worse person than Appledusk. But Appledusk's cruelty, I think it gets more under my skin because it feels real. How many serial killers do you know? probably none. But how many indifferent men who think women are just too emotional do you know? how many half-rate, self-absorbed fathers do you know? probably a small selection, at least.

So, when coming up with the basics for PkS, I imagined in the wake of this fiasco, Appledusk would be most focused on his own image, like he seems to be in canon. He wants to go back to being an esteemed, respected warrior. What's the best way to do that? Is it to step up, and be there for his traumatized daughter, offer her guidance and try to to fill the void left by losing her other parent?

No, of course not. Because to Appledusk, his daughter is a constant reminder of the mistakes he's made. He doesn't want to reckon with those mistakes, and he doesn't want to consider that he did something wrong.

In a way... he is a lot like his daughter. (Petalpaw would kill me if she could read me typing this, lol). They both are set in their ways, and very, very stubborn.

So, tl;dr... Appledusk in PkS is an extrapolation based on what I interpret from his character. But he's a character with so little to go on I think there are many ways to interpret him. This is just my thought process about him!

[lacroixqueen]

embers and earth ch. 1 (zuko x jin angst)

Summary: jin finds out "lee" is actually firelord zuko, the new leader of the fire nation. angst and mental breakdown ensues

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: zuko x jin

Tags: angst, jealousy, yearning, prince x peasant

Author's Note: this was inspired by fan art but I for the life of me cannot find the artist's name just if you are out there just know you inspired this fic so thank u :v

Jin was absolutely furious the day that she found out. 

She remembered being over the moon the night before when the Earth King announced that the Hundred Year War was finally over. That the fire nation inherited a new leader who would forge peace between all four nations at long last. She recalled sleeping a little bit more deeply that night. A sigh of relief. A breath of fresh air. 

She even had a pep in her step when she ambled into the main marketplace of the Lower Ring in the morning. For the first time in her life, she didn’t need to worry about her safety. She remembered having to escape with her family when fire nation soldiers attacked her village when she was only a little girl. The fear in her father’s eyes. Her mother holding her tight and telling her not to make a sound when she cried. 

But today was a new day. A fresh start. 

She was picking out the ripest cabbage in the stall when she noticed a couple of Dai Li agents putting up posters around the square. She swore to herself she saw a glimpse of a face that looked all too familiar for comfort. She almost didn’t want it to be true. Because if it was, it would confirm too many questions she would stay up asking herself over and over again. 

A small crowd was already beginning to form around one of the posters. She eventually elbowed her way through and made it to the very front. And there it was. 

Firelord Zuko. Future of the Fire Nation. Forging an era of peace. 

Except it wasn’t “Zuko”, or whoever that was. It was Lee. The boy with the scar from the tea shop. She reached out reluctantly, as if she touched the poster he would come walking off the page. She placed the tips of her fingertips over the purple scar that ran across his triumphant face. 

But it’s not possible. Lee said he was of the Earth Kingdom. A traveling circus, was it? Now that she thinks of it, it did sound a little bit too barbaric to be real. But none of that mattered. 

She was fascinated by him. She hung onto his every word. Even though it’s not like he had much to say in the first place. 

After their date, she remembered how excited she was to see him again. She planned out an entire day with him in her mind, replaying the scenarios in her dreams like she was the director of a play. She recalled feeling a bit ridiculous about it, like some giddy fangirl. But she didn’t care. She had never wanted anything more in her life. 

But surprise quickly melted into confusion, which devolved into anger. 

How could he? she thought to herself, trying to piece together the puzzle but it still didn’t make any sense. 

The last time she tried to reach out to him, she burst through the doors of the tea shop, wearing her heart on her sleeve and ready to confess her undying love to him, without so much of a care in the world. But he was gone. In the blink of an eye, tossed away into the wind. 

“Where did he go?” she asked one of the workers, almost dissociated from reality. 

“To the Upper Ring,” he replied, sweeping some dust out of a corner. “His uncle got a job offer to run his own tea business. The Jasmine Dragon, was it? Yeah something like that.”

She felt her own blood run cold. She would only ever occasionally venture up to the Middle Ring, but Upper? She wouldn’t stand a chance. She would be ushered out as quickly as she came in. Not to mention she had no idea where this new store was even located. 

She was inconsolable for several days, of course, but in the back of her mind she knew she couldn’t cry forever. Because time heals all wounds, as her mother would say. 

And she eventually moved on, even though there was always longing within her that she could never quite shake. An ache that pulsated every time she remembered that she would most likely never see him again. 

Her thoughts were beginning to spiral at a rate of a million miles per second. Was he lying to her that entire time? Was that what he meant when he said “it’s complicated”? 

She paused, her entire body frozen. 

Was that how he lit up the lanterns at Firelight Fountain?

She couldn’t even process what was happening, but next thing she knew, she had already scrunched up that stupid poster, much to the crowd’s bickering and dismay, and shred it all up into several pieces. 

Tears were beginning to bud at the bottoms of her eyes. So that’s it. He was a firebender this entire time. But why lie about it? Why keep something so important from her, when he knew how much the fire nation had hurt her family.

Why was she acting like some sort of dramatic schoolgirl? It’s not like they were officially together or anything. It was just one silly date. Why did it mean so much to her anyway?

She walked briskly home, attempting, but failing horribly to conceal her tearstained face.

She opened the door to her modest home, without even bothering to close it gently, and stormed up the stairs to her bedroom. 

“Jin, were you able to get the vegetables I needed?” her mother called from the kitchen but she wasn’t even able to muster up a response. 

She flung herself onto the cot splayed out in the middle of the floor, grabbing her pillow and holding it close to her chest. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid, she kept telling herself. Why did she care so much anyway? It doesn’t even matter. None of it. 

Lee or Zuko, what difference did it make? 

He was still going to be a million worlds apart. Whether that was the Jasmine Dragon in the Upper Ring or the palace in the Fire Nation. 

She could weep and yearn for her entire life, and then what? He would just descend into the dilapidated shacks of the Lower Ring and sweep her off her feet? She knew the chance of that happening was zero to none. So why hope? Why cling onto this tiny shred of faith that had no meaning otherwise?

She played with the thought a little bit, after all, she was a hopeless romantic at heart. But the fantasy dissipated as quickly as it formed. 

It’s best to forget any of this ever happened, she decided for herself after an entire afternoon of contemplation. There’s no use in staying in the past. Besides, he probably never thinks of her these days. He’s busy running his own country, and creating a new era for the world. 

After all, why would some Earth Kingdom peasant ever cross the firelord’s mind?

[canichangemyblogname]

If any writer is out here seriously arguing that Characters in a TV show shouldn’t have growth because of the nature of the medium, fucking run. Run from their projects. They will be bland, tired, uninspiring, and boring.

TV characters don’t grow or change *in the same way* they would in a movie or novel. That’s the key phrasing here: in the same way. When a movie or novel ends, many of the central problems and conflicts specific to that book or movie have been resolved. A TV show is built on a series of ongoing conflicts, often with one overall larger situation pushing the plot forward or tying the narrative together. Think of ATLA. Every week, the characters landed on a new island and had someone new in need of their help, but the overall larger conflict, the war, always loomed on the horizon. The episodic plots created growth while the overall serial plot created great change, and each character still maintained their “sense of self.” People have mistakenly begun to argue characters maintaining this “sense of self” and an ongoing source of story means they do not grow or eventually change. That is incorrect.

Aang matured and learned to control his powers, but he is still kind, loyal, and sticks to his conviction that he will not kill to end the war. Katara became a master water bender who can hold her own and protect her own, but she remained passionate and strong. Sokka found a sense of purpose and self-identity, but he remained intelligent and witty. Do you see what I’m getting at here?

Walter White changes in the sense he becomes more morally corrupt as the series continues, but what doesn’t change is the fact he’s cooking meth. The overarching conflict-driving situation doesn’t change for the characters until the very end, even if episodic conflict-driving situation ends or the character is dynamic. ATLA ended when the war ended. The Sopranos ended with an abrupt cut to black meant to be interpreted as Tony’s death (confirmed by the creator). Mad Men ends with Don Draper— a character plagued by emotional suffering and who was characterized as unable to change for the better— meditating on a hilltop at a retreat before the show cuts to the real-life 1971 Coca-Cola “Hilltop” commercial.

A TV show isn’t one long story, but a series of shorter stories that tie together. Episodes have their own beginning, middle, and end. The show itself doesn’t necessarily have that, especially given the modern TV landscape where shows get canceled after one or two seasons all the time. There’s no planned end because the end could be in a couple seasons or this next season. The writers have to figure out an end for the show only when they’re faced with its end. Until that moment, though, each episode is its own story, and each episode’s end is supposed to leave the story with possibility for more stories to develop or come, but the overall plot-driving conflict does not resolve until the end.

The issue with 911? There are a couple characters with what seems like no overall plot-driving conflict fundamental to them. Buck’s story doesn’t revolve around evading the authorities and doesn’t end with him fittingly dying among the meth that corrupted him. Hen’s story doesn’t end when she fully realizes her powers and defeats the warlord threatening to burn the world to the ground. Of course, yes, because that’s not the genre they’re in, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. They seem to no longer have an overarching source of story. Not like Eddie. Not like Bobby.

Or, at least, production is not utilizing these character’s source of story.

Bobby’s past struggle with addiction is an ongoing source of story for him. Eddie’s past loss of the love of his life is an ongoing source of story for him. The reason Athena became a cop in the first place; her motivations, is an ongoing source of story for her. The abuse Maddie suffered in the past from Doug is an ongoing source of story for her. None of these traumas are things that will change about these characters. If Maddie stops picking up phones to help people at their most vulnerable; in their greatest time of need, and Athena hangs up her badge, and Bobby retires and comes to peace with the lives he’s lost and saved, and Eddie forgets Shannon, these character’s stories end. Boddy, Athena, Maddie, and Eddie’s stories are shaped by ghosts in their past. When those ghosts finally rest, these characters will see resolution.

But Buck and Hen do not have the same ongoing source of story. And I know the writers have realized this because Minear himself characterized Buck as being on some sort of character “hamster wheel.” There’s nothing driving his story forward.

And fans have noted the same of Hen, joking about “Hen and Karen lose their kids, part VI… 😒.” Karen, actually, has more of an ongoing source of story than Hen, with Karen’s ghost being that she does not share DNA with her any of her kids, making her claim to motherhood vulnerable. We see this cemented by the IVF storyline and how devastated she was that her body could not give her a kid recognized by the state as her’s and always hers. Hen’s ghost was Eva Mathis, who also became a source for Karen’s ghosts (“Everyone I ever loved belonged to you first”). But Eva hasn’t been seen since season 5’s “Ghost Stories” when she fucked off out of their lives and told both Hen and Karen that she’s leaving California and won’t be back. And 911 completely dropped the Nathaniel (Denny’s dad) plot line, so this ongoing source of story was essentially resolved. But the show recognizes the situation it created and continues to recreate this ongoing source of conflict with new antagonists trying to take Hen and Karen’s family from them, instead of using those past ghosts.

But what the writers seem to have neglected in their resolution of Hen’s past ghost (Eva) is that Hen’s ghost wasn’t ever legal powerlessness over her kids because she didn’t physically birth them and never could get pregnant like she’s long wanted, as it has been Karen’s. Hen’s ghost is the life she had before Karen (see: Hen begins, as the begins episodes do a good job of revealing what each of these characters ongoing source of story will be). Her ghosts are Eva and Daniel and pharmaceuticals and watching someone she loved succumb to addiction and repeatedly blow up their lives. Her ghost is also a different form of addiction: an addiction to chaos or danger or excitement, previously in the form of Eva. (And I think that’s part of what made Hen and Bobby’s relationship feel different from Bobby’s relationship with other members of the 118. Bobby struggled with addiction and Hen knew what it was like to lose people to it.) While Karen’s ghost is the fear of losing her kids (she became a stay at home mother and everything), Hen’s *could successfully have been* the reason she became a firefighter in the first place: a desire to save lives, especially after seeing people she knew almost lost or totally lost to emergency and illness. She goes from working for the industry that started our addiction epidemic to saving lives impacted by it, and the ghost that drove her to do that would have been the past love she lost to addiction. Her ongoing source of story would have mirrored Bobby’s in a way (potentially setting up nicely a poetic end where he passes the torch to her, also bringing her full circle from a probie intentionally left out to the woman with the run of the house), in that she is driven to save lives because of those she’s lost or almost lost. And it is easily a part of all her arcs, like when her mother gets sick or when Bobby relapses or when her kids or wife get injured.

Luckily, I don’t think they’ve screwed the pooch by writing Eva off. Eva could return. Hen’s past as a pharmaceutical rep could come back to haunt her. This narrative of “this is why I became a first responder” *has* permeated Hen’s entire story, it’s only recently that it seems like her story is repeating itself. I think resolving this issue would 1.) require the show to see Hen as more than “the show’s lesbian with a family,” and 2.) a simple jolt of creativity. Production can let someone new come up with an idea or hire other staff or whatever to bring in some fresh perspective. I really think this is solvable and they have the resources to take Hen’s story in a refreshing direction.

Which I want to compare to another character in the show, Buck.

Buck is also stuck in a cycle. Buck’s ongoing source of story has always been about creating “emotionally weighty” relationships due to an emotional neglect he suffered as a child. It’s why he slept around. It’s why he often feels a sense of abandonment and derived purpose from his work. It’s put him at odds with his sister, Maddie, at times. His ongoing source of conflict; his ghost, is his parents (and Daniel) and how this created an emotional wound Buck wants to fill. We see that he had this open wound early in season one, mostly around a desire for emotional intimacy and feeling a lack of a sense of place or significance. He tells Bobby that his job as a firefighter is all he got, he suggests to Maddie that she cast him off for Doug, he tells his sister he’ll make something of himself one day but doesn’t know what yet, he and Taylor talk about meaningful relationships (he’s surrounded by them), he confronts his parents past emotional neglect (and forgives them), he also takes on his subconscious about “mattering” more in a made-up world, and toward the end of season six, he concludes that he is enough; he has all he needs in the real world and then comes to peace with the fact he doesn’t have to perform for others (something which he’s been doing his whole life to get the attention and approval of his parents). And the issue with this is that, well, Buck finding a sense of purpose outside his utility and finding innate value in who he is (this idea he is enough as is) in season six kinda sorta wrapped up his ongoing source of story. They even tried partnering him up with a nice girl (which is unfortunately revealing of the fact they think Buck’s sense of significance and his struggles with loneliness are tied to his romantic struggles as opposed to emotional abandonment as a child by his caregivers).

The writers or the creator unfortunately seem to want to argue that Buck’s ongoing source of story is his lack of a romantic relationship, rather than finding purpose with his life and struggling to build or maintain a community of emotionally weighty relationships around him as life brings people together and draws them apart. We saw this illustrated well in his arc with Red, the retired firefighter. Buck is worried about dying alone, but not really because he doesn’t have a significant other at the time. He’s afraid of this because of the response his coworkers/friends gave when he asked if they ever keep in touch with former coworkers. Part of Red’s story may have been that he let the love of his life go, but the other part was that he never kept in contact with his old friends.

However, it seems the show’s creator wants to argue that Buck’s story ends when he finally finds “the one,” romantically. But it’s not. Buck’s arc ends when he finds a sense of purpose or innate value outside of his work (it would be really blah, boring, if that “purpose” he finds is a romantic partner, btw) or settles with the fact that he has (and always will have) an “emotionally weighty” support system because he fights to maintain those relationships despite distance, time, circumstance or a change of jobs. Buck’s ongoing source of story has always primarily revolved around his platonic relationships. The point of Red’s story was that Buck is not Red, Maddie even says that Buck will never be alone because he has her. And while it could be argued that part of Buck’s resolution will be finding people who fight to stay in his life, always return, and show him that he matters to them, I think it would be shortsighted to suggest this refers (or would exclusively refer) to his romantic life. Buck will settle into himself because of the platonic and familial love he has fostered and fought for.

This means, I think it’s possible to stop giving him a revolving door of romantic partners (either commit to one or none, imho) without resolving his story when his story is about creating emotional support systems and deep connections with others despite the way life pushes and pulls people apart. Arguing his story resolves when he finds “the one” would be like arguing Chim’s story ended when he and Maddie first got together. Life pushed and pulled them apart several times, and they kept choosing each other. Chim has fought to maintain the family he’s created after the family he lost and also never got. Maddie has fought to maintain the happiness and safety she thought she’d never get. The show could give Buck a steady partner or a reoccurring romantic partner and still write narratives about the difficulties of maintaining platonic and familial relationships as an adult, including any potential expansion of that familial relationship through a romantic partnership.

In my personal opinion, if any of Buck’s ongoing source of story is related to romance, it’s his belief that his life and existing relationships will only be complete when he finds “the one.” As Taylor said, he’s surrounded by meaningful relationships (yet he doesn’t seem to find this enough—likely due to this idea he has to find romance). It could be argued that when he realizes this, and in the process realizes that he doesn’t need a romantic partnership to “complete” the picture, then his ongoing source of story will find resolution. This approach would necessitate a constant cycle of different relationships until Buck ends the series single and surrounded by—like—his nieces and nephews and friends. However, I do not think that this would satisfactorily resolve Buck’s picture (mostly because of the rather boring patterns it creates for Buck’s character and the way I think it would often lead to Buck re-hashing the same things over and over). I also don’t think the writers are setting out (or ever will set out) to tackle amatonormativity in narratives about family, belonging, and “ultimate” happiness.

Unfortunately, I do think that Buck’s narrative will continue to be stuck in a cycle of unsatisfying and incomplete or short-cut relationships until the show end-ends anyway. I think this because I think the writers and creator genuinely see this cycle as what drives Buck’s story (as opposed to just one potential aspect to include in an ongoing source of story about finding purpose outside utility and people pleasing, and surrounding himself with people who love him and who he loves in return), with the resolution to his ongoing source of story being Buck ultimately finding “the one,” and settling down with them. However, because romance has never been the primary focus of his ongoing source of story, this exclusive focus on break-ups and then moving onto the next until “the one.” will always feel unsatisfactory.

What will “save” Buck’s story isn’t a new jolt of creativity, but the creator and writers actively challenging and changing their amatonormative views of relationships. And I think that’s far less likely to happen than someone going, “What if Hen has a call about an overdose and it brings back some uncomfortable memories and new challenges for her and Karen?”

[ingravinoveritas]

What do you make of David sayin he’s an ally, not an active participant (in queer subcultures)?

Did he come out as straight? I’m not sure anyone has ever asked him directly, not that he needs to give any explanations, I’m just curious because he gives off such a queer vibe even when he’s been married forever.

https://www.attitude.co.uk/culture/david-tennant-on-the-spice-girls-spiceworld-movie-was-being-developed-before-they-even-released-a-single-459815/

Oh, my Asks/DMs have been blowing up over this one. I did have a chance to read this interview with David (is it me, or is he doing nonstop press lately?) and...wow. Definitely enjoyable, and noticeably more unhinged/queer than most of his other interviews (which makes sense, given that Attitude is an LGBTQ-focused publication). But let's get a screenshot up of the most talked about bit, so we can discuss:

Obviously there is a lot going on here, so I'm just going to go with what stood out to me most. I don't think there is anything in the world less surprising than David naming bears first, given certain preferences of his (which I've discussed several times previously on my blog).

What's really interesting though is that the question was asking about queer subcultures, but all of the ones David listed are used primarily (AFAIK, though someone please do correct me if I am wrong) in mlm/gay male relationships. "Queer" can be many things, after all--gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, ace--and yet when David heard "queer subcultures" he specifically went for the mlm/gay ones, and that definitely feels like an interesting choice.

The second thing that I felt was worth discussing is that a lot of the reactions I've seen to this is people saying how adorably clueless David is, or how "he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit." And I'm sort of perplexed by this because we are talking about an almost 53-year-old man here, and I believe he knows damn well what all of those terms/subcultures are.

It's been brought to my attention (from what I would consider a very trustworthy source) that David is not at all as technologically illiterate as he pretends to be. Instead, it's actually part of a persona that he puts on to avoid dealing with issues that would arise from people knowing he is online. I had an inkling of this just from Georgia saying David was the one who set up all the equipment for when they filmed Staged at home (because why would such a task be put in the hands of someone who is hopeless with technology?). But having this confirmed also aligns with David creating a fake personal assistant in the early days of his career so he wouldn't have to fulfill certain social obligations, and to put a barrier between his real self and the world.

So why, then, wouldn't the same pattern possibly apply here?

I know there also tends to be this image of David as a "bumbling, goofy dad" type, and that's definitely part of him and what makes him so charming. But I don't think he is a fool, either--especially not after listening to him talk about Shakespeare or politics or anything else at length--and I think he certainly knows how to answer these types of questions. I think David is more than clever enough to give answers that are cheeky but not revealing, because he knows the purpose of all this is to promote the BAFTAs, not to be a deep, probing exposé on the life and times of David Tennant.

Which then brings me to the big, gay elephant standing in the middle of the room--a.k.a., "I'm an ally rather than an active participant." (Again...so many interesting word choices going on here, and none of it feels like an accident.)

Going back to what I mentioned about the focus of these interviews, I'd like to point out one notable thing that David himself said in the Radio Times interview earlier this week:

This, I think, sums up what we are seeing in all of these interviews: The version of David that he feels is safe to present to the world. He makes it clear as well that he is not going to reveal areas of his personal life while up on stage, and I would say that the same thing applies to these interviews. (It also speaks volumes that in the year 2024, the version of himself he feels safe presenting in these interviews is one who fully knows what bears and twinks--sorry, twinkies--are.)

So no, I don't think David is coming out as straight. I don't think he's coming out as anything, in fact, because he knows these interviews are not the place for that to happen. And I think that saying he is an ally but not an active participant makes the most sense as an answer for a public interview, but neither that nor being in a straight-passing relationship necessarily makes him any less potentially queer.

To reiterate what I said above, there is no one way to be queer. For some people, being queer absolutely can mean going to leather bars and participating in subcultures. But for other people, "queer" can mean something very different. It can mean being a Kinsey 2 just floating along doing your thing until you meet that one person who changes everything. The person who makes you go, "I've usually been more into this and not as much into this...but I'm definitely into you." It can mean being attracted to/falling for someone--a co-star, maybe?--that you never expected to feel that way about. And if David is queer, maybe that also means not shying away from anything, but at the same time not wanting to take the spotlight off the awards and the nominees celebrating one of the most important nights of their lives.

Those are my thoughts on the Attitude interview and David's answers, at any rate. Happy as always to hear from my followers with your takes. Thank you for writing in! x

[crushing-on-hunks]

Lost and Found

Prompt: Lost and Found

Fandom: Arcane, BMFM, GOTG

Warnings: None, headcanons, possible bad grammar

Word count: 502, for Comforcember @monthlywritingchallenges

Sometimes we all feel kinda lost. And not only in geographical sense. When life does not seem to improve and the existence itself becomes dreading, we sometimes encounter people that become our personal stars of flickering hope in the disconsolate ocean of darkness. And we just might find something new.

Rocket Raccoon

Rocket was always the one to take. Legally or not, did not really matter. He believed it was right, after all the universe already took so much FROM him that there was no chance he will give something away freealingly. Even now with his new family of misfits surprisingly efficient in universe-saving business, he won't do a damn thing without a tempting award.

Yet here he is now.Tinkering away at the middle of the sleep cycle on your gear when you did not even ask. "Well, why would I if you are always protecting me?" you said smiling at him with this stupid little smile and stupid little dimples. The same ones that his raking paw are twitching to soothingly pet when you come face to face with him.

Steb

Cynical approach. Sure he was a medic, an enforcer too of course, but a medic nonetheless. It is possible that in the beginning he was blindly following the colourful sweet dreams of changing the world for the better, making a drastic difference. To heal. But the more time he spend within enforcers ranks, the more he saw the real picture. The unfairness, the cruelty. Sometimes directed at him, most of the times at zaunites. Sometimes it felt like an ice-cold shower of sobriety, others - like a slap leaving a mark somewhere deep inside. Made him tougher, less prone to get hurt but also felt like losing a part of himself.

But with you and those big dreams that you shared only with him! Your desire and inability to give up! You believe that the world is big enough for all of you! It became something that he cherishes and carries with him in the heart pocket of the tight uniform, giving him strength to fight for what is actually right and not betray himself in the process.

Stoker

He was fighting for as long as he could remember. And it felt like a personal torture - to loose people around him and not being able to get even a jot closer to winning. Like those dirty swines in power will never see further than their pockets filled with bloodied plutarkians money. He is burning out.

But as his gaze lands on your face over the campfire, so used to the same hardships yet still extending the gentle touch to any who asks or needs it, he is determined to finish what the resistance started, to see it to the very end, to fight tooth and nail to bring freedom to Mars, to you. And maybe, if he is lucky, the fate will let him do it side by side with you.

[tigreblvnc]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @beast-s-lost-rose

Your match is...

— Atsushi Nakajima

✦ Jesus, your match was hard to find.

✦ I know in advance that you're going to raise your eyebrows, but was this possibility conceivable? Well, now it is.

✦ One might think that choosing the main character is an easy choice, as they are typically designed to be adaptable and fit into various environments, which reduces their dominant traits compared to what an antagonist might have.

✦ There's real reasoning behind this: reading your biography, I think you're someone who prefers to stay in his comfort zone and isn't ready to step out right away. You need to feel safe, at ease, and able to go at your own pace to feel ready to move forward. You need a personally convincing reason to try something new that deviates from what you've done in the past.

✦ This is the main reason why I ruled out the more restless or dominant characters.

✦ To me, choosing a romantic match might even be premature. You need time to get to know yourself and set your boundaries. An ideal character for this journey, even as a platonic partner, is none other than Atsushi.

✦ He's often the character who brings antagonists back to the side of Good, who always gives others a chance, who seeks to understand the reasons why. His patience, fueled by a pure heart-driven determination, makes him a perfect partner for you.

✦ He's also an introvert who gets scared by things he doesn't know, so you two could take things slow together without rushing. You do things when it feels right.

✦ That being said, Atsushi knows how to take initiative, and I can definitely see him being the one to suggest going out in the city, discovering a café, or taking a stroll on the outskirts, where it's less crowded.

✦ Sometimes, or rather often, you two sit on a bench facing the port to watch the sunset. Your conversations often revolve around Good and Evil, and you enjoy questioning the motivations of others, the meaning of existence. You remake the world without worrying about the time passing, and that suits you both. It's a bubble of comfort for both of you.

✦ In fact, he quickly feels at ease with you and extends his hand when he senses you need it. He's particularly good at understanding if you just need solitude or if something is wrong. His sensitivity and ideals make him a very gentle and attentive partner, not weak despite the apparent fragility of his voice when doubt weighs on him.

✦ Very long late-night conversations by text as well.

✦ You exchange long, well-written messages without any spelling mistakes. He adds safe emojis 😊, 😅 everywhere because he's afraid of coming across as cold or angry. For one reason or another, you often end up apologizing to each other even though nothing went wrong, and you both think you acted terribly when it was objectively perfectly harmless. It's the case of two anxious people together, no doubt about it.

✦ When he wonders about the reasons behind another character's actions, he often asks for your opinion to hear your well-thought-out arguments. This always helps him nurture his own thoughts and figure out how to move forward. It's a favor he returns to you.

✦ At home, I imagine you as the one who knows where even the smallest object is, which drawer and which room it's in. It's a great asset for Atsushi, who often gets overwhelmed by work at the Agency and his lack of self-discipline at times.

✦ In return, he brings you your favorite dishes because he'll have memorized them over time. He's great at remembering what people like and pays special attention to details.

✦ He admires your ability to stay calm in the middle of a storm. It's something he wishes he had.

✦ No kidding, I think he might even try roleplaying to write with you.

✦ Your love languages complement each other perfectly. To me, Atsushi is very good at finding words that resonate, that touch and provoke reactions. He's also great at lifting his peers' spirits and speaking from the heart. He's the type to stay even when he doesn't need to, even when he doesn't have time, until the other person feels better. In your case, he stays because he enjoys your presence, and naturally turning to you to talk is a clear sign of his trust and comfort with you.

✦ Atsushi also needs encouragement frequently, and we see it throughout the manga. When he faces desperate situations, the words of Dazai come to his mind as words of encouragement. Knowing that what he's doing is meaningful is very important to him, and for you to remind him that he's not doing it for nothing means a lot to him.

✦ For a little astrological anecdote, you're both Tauruses. It's an earth sign that loves stability and predictability. You both give off a calming energy when you're together, and it even soothes those around you. Panic at the Agency tends to naturally calm down in your presence. People easily turn to you to hear wise or enlightening words because behind your fragile appearances, you exude an undeniable strength of character.

✦ To some extent, Atsushi's commitment to the Armed Detective Agency is proof of his hardworking and determined character. He naturally passes these traits to you over time, encouraging you to try new things while always protecting you from danger.

✦ You both learn to gain confidence and motivation by spending time with one another. There's a mutual understanding between you that doesn't need words to make sense or be understood.

✦ In the guidebook, there's an interesting bit of information: "How do you spend your free time? Borrowing books from the library and studying." I can easily imagine your first encounter this way, where you went to the library, and you bumped into the tiger in a mess of bookshelves. Maybe it was back when he was stealing, but curiously, you didn't report him. That's what made him stay, and he started asking you questions.

✦ From there, the conversation became endless, and you both sat on the floor against a shelf full of books, flipping through them one by one, until you were surrounded by towering piles.

✦ You talk about your favorite books and give each other the best recommendations. I think Atsushi would be really interested in History, and literature would attract his attention as well. Eventually, you'd have to wait until a store clerk asks you to leave because the library is closing.

A word about your match: Honestly, I had thought about Poe and Stoker. Even Ango. But I think Poe is too cowardly and lacking in self-confidence, in a more severe way than Atsushi, while Stoker is too full of himself, and Ango is too strict about the rules and ruthless with those who don't measure up. To me, you definitely need someone gentle who can accompany you at the pace you need. That's what makes Atsushi, in a realistic perspective, the most plausible choice for me.

© TIGREBLVNC 2025 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[celiaelise]

I'm in chapter 145 of the Dan Da Dan manga, so very nearly caught up!!!

I'm enjoying it, but i will say i think the show is better, and also it almost feels like the manga was only created as a precursor to the show? A lot of the coolest things about the show are, at most, only implied by the manga. (Action scenes, use of color, music, etc.) Like, there's action sequences or referenced music that is just not possible to do w a printed b&w comic! And fight scenes, character designs, and detailed backgrounds are kind of difficult for me, personally, to parse without color. Also i think the manga is a little worse in terms of sexualizing the girls :/

All that said, the manga is definitely still very good, and the heart of what made the characters likeable and the story compelling is definitely all in there!! Momo and Okarun's crushes are so sweet; often that kind of storyline, (the slow getting-together) especially when you mix in their jealousy towards others of their gender, would be kind of irritating to me. But they both just feel like real teenagers, like, the jealousy doesn't take over their personalities or really get in the way of their friendships. Also they're busy trying not to die or saving the world or whatever. They just have a lot of feelings!! Tbh it's very sweet and nice that you can see that they both ARE trying to process their feelings and potentially do something about it, like, their hangups make sense for the most part.

Honestly very pleasant to me that pretty much all the main characters are fundamentally compassionate people. Momo's definitely still my fave; best girl of all time!!! 🩷🩷🩷 But Okarun is great, too, he's such a sweetie and he's SO brave, and, honestly? Really great at communication for a teenager who's never had friends before in his life!!

I found a stopping point in the middle of the Jumanji-type arc; I think it was partly not holding my attention as much bc our main couple is separated! 😅 (it feels kind of silly and perfunctory whenever there's an attempt to establish romantic tension between Momo or Okarun and a third party-- it's like, yeah, okay, they're cute, they have chemistry, whatever, but none of that matters bc they're ALREADY IN LOVE) (not to discount my poly friends. But Momokarun seem to be operating from a pretty monogamous mindset.) but I'm sure I'll finish catching up soon. I've read most of it the last four or five days, I think? I can't tell if the chapters are short, or it's just so fast-paced that it feels that way, lol.