#There is nothing here for me.
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I’m repulsed by everything and everyone except him.
#I am so disgusted by everything. Every person on this planet is foul and ugly.#I have so much love inside of me and the idea of it being spared for any of the disgusting people on this planet is foul.#He is the only vaguely humanoid idea i might give my love too.#The world is so deeply repulsive. I am so deeply repulsive.#I am so exhausted by everything that is not Shuu - if i could remove myself from the vermin of the earth to see him just once i would.#There is nothing here for me.#I am not a person. Not a human being. I am barely an idea.#I exist merely to devote myself to the singular nonexistent form that i am not bored or disgusted by#Nothing he can do will disgust me. Nor bore me. Ever.#He is not like the vermin of my so called species#.#You all disgust me.#I can feel the filth and sin of every person on this planet on my skin and I am furious at it.#The earth did not deserve the human pest. I would die happily if it meant every other person alive died too.#Everything that is not Shuu; I despise.
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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I don't want to regret the way I lived
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#choso kamo#junpei yoshino#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#this idea started as a 2 part series . then my braincells decided to spark and supplied 7 PAGES#'did you sleep hina' no#ws looking up mentally stable things like 'who has died in jjk' smh i love my hyperfixation media im sooooo glad so many ppl r DEAD#i *could* have included more ppl but i think this is a good crew. this is a yuuji emotional support crew#also Was gna include his grandpa final panel but i Did Not Want To#he is implied through th dialogue#side note i donot like how i cn see this scenario playing out . ..yuuji this isnt ur stop u r monopoly voice Just Visiting ok >:(#anyway I broke my own heart with this and ik i hyped it up a lot but i hope that its not just me...#hope i did not hype it up fr nothing and no one else finds it devastating :((((( that would b humbling in the worst way#pls ...join the happy party train.......i hate it here i suffered pls :<<<<#also !!!! colours in this !! i cooked i fear . adding th first bit of warm hitting yuuji's face after th first 2 panels....#ive never had that kind of experience while drawing before it was wild . painful ! but wild.#the whole transition from p 2->3 might b the most emotionally moving piece ive ever made to me#not 2 sing my own praises tho i will shut up ! i wil. nap
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Mr D insisting that Percy's name is Peter and immediately afterwards yelling at the demigods to get the hell out of the camp I LOVE THIS GOD
#“are you still here?” D love you should be pretending you don't care about him#Dionysus i will be by your side always#f ck Zeus let me get D wine#the way a war happened and nothing shook him fills me with hope#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#pjo series#pjo tv show#percy jackson and the olympians spoilers#pjo#mr d pjo
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if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing
#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate.#you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you#think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth.#then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty#house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive#this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died.#and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first#place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever#given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and#you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's#everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you#have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love#more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me.#real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you.#and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love.#lit#the hunger games#everlark#otp: real or not real?#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#text#tais toi lys#thgpost
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Annabeth is so much stronger then me I'm just saying if my mum got pissed and punished me for something my field trip partner did after i was nothing but the perfect child for the last 5 years meanwhile the guy who actually did the thing got nothing but praise from his dad yeah no Luke wouldn't even have time to ask me if I wanted to fight against the gods I'd already be starting my own revolution
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#percy jackson spoilers#pjo spoilers#pjo tv show spoilers#its the double standard#percy has been here for 7 days#and has literally been nothing but a git towards the gods for those 7 days#and yet his dad is sending river spirits to tell him he loves him#annabeth chase#i love you so much#you are so strong#couldn't be me#im too petty#oifaaaposts
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🎣lure me in, baby!
#knitting#wip#knitblr#pattern is Lure Me In on Ravelry🐠#all of this started because I reblogged a photo set of fishing lures on here and immediately was taken aback by the sheer amount of fishing#wordplay there is out there. like. reel me in here if I get carried away. catch and release me if nothing else. i'll never stop baiting you#anyways! fun details! a return of the fibonacci spaced waves on the sleeves my signature fav. stitches that look like fish along the raglan#and fishing lure colorwork designed by yours truly who has only been fishing once in her life and was ultimately just as thrilled digging u#worms for bait because I sure as heck didn’t have sick fishing lures like these😅#fish art
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yeah the doctor hasn't kissed a man since 2005 but they also haven't kissed anyone on screen since missy in 2014. ten actual years. do you understand the significance of this
#dw#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#rogue#the doctor#sofi.txt#rory doesn't really count and neither does river in 2017 because they didn't actually show it#trust me I've been counting the entire time#the doctor who i knew had the doctor kissing random people all the time and then 12 happened and. nothing#i was actually waiting for 13 to smooch anyone. not even yaz or jack just anyone at all#but she was too ace and repressed#and 14 only had three episodes and one comment about isaac newton being hot#so here we are 🥹#i can't actually believe it's been that long
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self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for
#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14#who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first#and it was awful and the worst day of her life#so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it#but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN#like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this#but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist#nobody except for me#so i guess i have to do everything myself around here#el talks
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Linktober day 16: time
#sigh. this piece here is the reason i still cant give up paint tool sai in 2024 because nothing will ever compare to its blending#if only csp could get me textured blend like this i'd fully switch. but no#anyway#linktober#linktober 2024#majora's mask#skribbles
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 5 - I Finally Finished the 2.2 Main Quest Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 6]
#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#hsr textpost#honkai star rail#honkai star rail meme#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#aventurine#sunday#hsr sunday#robin#hsr robin#stelle#hsr trailblazer#acheron#black swan#misha#hsr misha#hsr gallagher#gallagher#boothill#if these memes don't make it obvious enough. i have finally completed the 2.2 main quest. and i am feeling. so many things about it /pos#11/10 i couldn't be more pleased. but i also don't have it in me to articulate any of it so here. have more memes instead#was fighting for my life to figure out the alt text for the 2nd one tbh. my struggle saga continues#let's see if any of these have been done yet. bc after posting these i always fuckign stumble on 1 or 2 that have been :/#and i feel bad. like i've stolen the idea? but i literally only see them after the fact!! sigh. there's nothing new under the sun etc etc
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hey silt verses? I just want to talk
#the silt verses#I'm soooooo!!!!! I'm sooo!!!!!#you can't do this to me silt verses!!!!!! I'm soooo!!!!!#val voice: you didnt want to be this I'm sure that#something something what did you want to be? a ballerina. a milkman.#the promised bride. become something else the trawlerman told her. she was just a girl. just a human with no where to go#all these characters stripped down of all titles and pretenses and forms and shapes. that's all they are. human#sorry i had to make another post about this because i was just talking about this on twitter yesterday#wouldn't it be truly fucking awful if it was just people out here and nothing else
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tehee~
#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#two hats spoilers#isat two hats#when i started this I was like “yeah just a quick animatic nothing fancy”#now 6 MONTHS LATER here we are#i am extremely proud of this tho I hope you all enjoy it#loop is on my brain 24/7 this game has me in a chokehold#i love isat so much guys#my art#bright colors#eyestrain#glitching
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Day 19 of Sirentober / Doctober
Cracked / Parallel
creature of habit
Available as a print on my Etsy Shop
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#sirentober#sirentober 2024#doctober#doctober 2024#I was actually rendering a separate one until I realized I didn’t like how it was going#so I did this one instead#not completely happy with part of bill here but it’s okay haha#don’t look too hard at his legs because they were givin me trouble 💀😭#baby bill is perfect and did nothing wrong to me here so we’re good
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Part 2/2
By the time Stanley had realized he wasn't as alone as he believed himself to be entrapped in this ravenous abyss; he had honestly begun to suspect that he was finally starting to properly lose his mind.
In all the ceaseless miles that Stanley had journeyed during his apparent permanent residence within the dark devouring void, not once had he encountered another conscious, walking, talking being similar to himself. Every other formerly living creature that he had crossed paths with had been so... silent. Empty. Dead, in every sense of the word. It was as though the very essence of life itself had been sucked out of their bodies with a straw, their forms slowly falling apart piece by piece under the vicious gluttony of the darkness that surrounded them. They looked like they actually were supposed to be there, unmoving and comatose, unlike him.
So, when Stanley first began to encounter the twins, all of a sudden, he wasn't the only one in the dark.
When meeting the first pair of them, he found himself standing in a lake.
He hadn't even noticed the changes at first. It felt as though he had been walking for weeks on end, his body moving purely on autopilot and his aching legs leading him towards a destination only it knew. A thick fog of forgetfulness and flickering memories had descended upon his brain like a heavy blanket of numbing static as he had traveled. In this absentminded state, he hadn't even realized that the ever-present undulating, buzzing darkness surrounding him had begun to gradually shift and morph to form a horizon line; stretching into tall looming cliffsides that almost seemed to close in on him. Once the nonexistent floor beneath his soles abruptly began to ripple and warp, like the disturbed surface of a shallow puddle; only then did he finally notice his transformed environment.
The transition was seamless, almost dream-like. One moment, he was still surrounded by that filthy, overwhelming abyss; and the next, his boots were suddenly plunged deep into the cold, dark lake water.
The silence didn't leave, however. It still choked and stuffed its way into Stanley's ears to clog up his mind with thick cotton; the eerie quiet not quite matching the calm, almost serene scenery the void seemed to have abruptly transformed itself into. Like a movie with its sound cut off; leaving only the unsettling hum of the projector to fill the empty air.
It was odd. The lake was surely incredibly deep. He could obviously tell from how thin and pathetically small the shores appeared all the way from where he now unceremoniously stood in the middle of the lake. Stan could look down and see the darkness below his feet swallow what meager light that managed to break through the murky waters. The overwhelming black almost seemed to beckon him, gaping and haunting; a bottomless underwater pit of pitch black that never seemed to end.
And yet, he didn't sink. Stanley remained perfectly level, the almost ink like waters stopping just at ankle level, as though he were held up just above the surface by some invisible force. Even the writhing waves seemed small and low, as though the waters were shy to climb up his legs further than that. It was odd, so very odd.
However, it wasn't nowhere near as odd as the sight that greeted him when he finally lifted his eyes from the waters.
Stanley had crossed paths with truly unbelievable sights in this strange somewhere; from bursting, collapsing stars; to the imploding heat death of entire universes, but none of them seemed to hold the candle to what he saw then when he lifted his eyes:
Children.
Two, to be exact. Two, nearly identical looking children stood motionless before him; completely soaked through to the bone as though they had taken a plunge into the frigid water that pooled around their ankles. It was a girl and a boy, both adorned with twin expressions utterly devoid of emotion, their wide eyed stare seeming to burn holes into his thin jacket. Their drenched clothes sagged off of their scrawny frames; thin rivulets of water dirpping off of them and disturbing the glassy surface of the water at their feet. The little girl's hair had messily stuck to her face in thin sodden strands, her cheeks still full and round with youth just like the boy's. They looked young. Too young to be in a place such as this.
Oh, but their eyes; their eyes.
They burned with such anger; such injustice, brighter than any dying star or galaxies he had ever seen. Anger towards the world, to fate, to whatever cruel deity that had deemed them fit to be sent to this wretched place so prematurely. They were too young to be here; to be entrapped like he was amongst this hungry darkness. And yet, here they were, sheer denial against their own untimely deaths being the only thing keeping them awake and conscious amongst the dead and rotting. A show of juvenile defiance to nature itself so vehement even the all-consumign darkness seemed hesitant to devour them whole just yet.
It saddened him. It saddened him to know that they belonged there, that they were supposed to be there. He could see it, he could feel it; they were dead. No amount of determination could deny that universal fact.
When they spoke, Stanley could hear anger:
Stan chuckled in a futile attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere that threatened to crush him whole. "A lake monster? You kids and your imagination," he teased, hoping to somehow rid the poor kids of the haunted look that seemed to whirl in their glares. No child should have been burdened with such a knowing look; such eyes that looked like they had seen everything there was to see about the world, the horrid and the good.
Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to say, and Stanley's faux pas was rewarded with a scowl from the little boy. A world's worth of sour contempt etched into every contorted groove that his grimace seemed to dig into his much too young face. Stan suddenly felt guilt squeeze at his weary bones for having caused that.
"That's what they all said," the boy spat out, eyes shining with a sheen of wetness Stan wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with.
Stan left that first interaction with the twins with the feeling of guilt and sorrow still clining to him.
He couldn't have known, at the time. He couldn't have known that this wouldn't be anywhere near the last time that he would meet the pair. He hadn't realised just how many of them there were. After that first pair, his endless journeying within the Abyss was hardly be spent alone anymore. Countless more times, he came face to face with the exact same two young and impossibly worn faces; forced to meet one pair of beaten and bruised kids after another.
Not one pair had died the same death as another. Some had gotten lost, prey to whatever threat that had snatched them up out in the open; some had fallen from high up; some had been crushed under an incredible weight; some had burned; some eaten alive; some zombified. Some didn't even seem physically harmed at all, body perfectly intact, and yet that same faraway, distrubed look in their eyes remained.
He thought the worst ones were the ones he found alone. A little girl or a little boy, left all lonesome without their other half there. Twins, he remembered a pair of them telling him once.
Once, he had come across a town full of silent, stone statues. It was a rustic, shabby, almost nostalgic looking town- odd and strangely familiar. The sight of it had tugged at an aged memory that had long since wasted away in the back of his mind. It was serene, almost deceptively so. The sun shone; the air smelled crisp and fresh; numerous waterfalls continued to crash down from the tall cliffsides; and a soft nonexistent breeze whistled through the thicket of pine trees that blanketed the outskirts of the town. None of it seemed to match the gruesome scene of the hundred wailing statues that littered every inch of the town.
He had found the boy's statue on the other side of town, deep within the green forest and toppled over the gnarled roots of a towering tree. Like the rest of the townsfolk, he too, was frozen mid-shriek; his stone face twisted and contorted into a mock impression of a silent scream as his body lay paused in a writhing struggle. He made sure to be gentle when he carried the boy's statue over to place it beside the girl's, whose statue stood far deeper into the forest, sporting the same rictus grimace of terror as her brother's. It somehow felt wrong for them to have been so far apart from one another, even in death.
He had come to dread meeting of the twins. He hated every second he had to confront yet another pair of dead children that did not belong here, but fate had decided they did. He despised having to listen to their tales of woe as they wept about the injustice of the world, of having died young; he despised himself for being unable to do more than weep with them.
"We don't belong here, Grunkle Stan," he would listen to the little girl weep, calling him a title he didn't recognize. He never remembered if they had ever told him their name, but they all seem to know his, without a fail. "If we're dead, then what about you? What about Grunkle Ford? Mom? Dad? What about them? We can't be dead, we can't be," they would say, confusion and frustration written all over their faces. They didn't understand. They didn't understand why they had come to the darkness so early, so unfairly.
He never knew what to say, he'd never been good with words.
All he could do was kneel down to their levels and engulf them in his arms, hoping he could somehow squeeze the pain straight out of their bodies in his embrace. He hugged them, because what else could he do?
#OKAY SO YOU KNOW THAT ONE SCENE IN THE BOOK OF BILL OR SMTH WHERE THEY SHOW ALL THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE VERSION OF DIPPER AND MABEL#WHEN THEY WEREN'T AS LUCKY AS THEIR ORIGINAL COUNTERPARTS#THAT'S WHO STAN MEETS HERE#I need you people to know that I had to rewrite this whole thing like 3 times because my dumbass#was writing a whole ass fic in TUMBLR DRAFTS so obviously it kept deleting itself <3#but it was worth it for the Stan angst <3#watch how many trigger warnings I can fit in this post#tw child death#tw death#tw dead animals#tw graphic description#tw graphic violence#tw graphic#tw body horror#tw scopophobia#tw gore#TELL ME IF I GOTTA TAG MORE!!#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#dipper pines#mabel pines#pines twins#absolutely not beta read- so if there are any grammar mistakes or plot holes... shhhhhh you saw nothing...#my writing#my fic#my art
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a railcannon
a cannon for railing
I will figure out where to post the noncropped version along with some other more reavelng stuff I'll be making/already made.
I don't really wanna do another social media becouse I shouldn't, and I was thinking about putting it on my kofi behind a "whatever you feel like" tip, becouse well, ya boy just got disabled and needs to afford a neurologist, plus hrt would be nice someday.
Idk how to set up the tip thing. My demigirlfriend suggested making a subscription deal for my spiceworks but I will be hopping fandoms and consistency is the bane of my existence and I just don't want to drag the poor souls who got baited into giving me money into something they're not into.
I'm willing to hear out anyone interested in the full version or just more from me.
Enough oversharing I'll regret when I come to my senses.
#more situations!#they've benn fighting#hes getting shot in the leg#thats why the cannon is vibrating#i swear tumblr dont ban me#nothing suspicious going on here#its time to get shameless with my posting#also “shit i did in like an hour” series continues#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#digital art#suggestive#v1 ultrakill#gabv1el#artists on tumblr
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