#There is no limit to what he will do for his family

[nyxelestia]

Tacking onto all of this, I do find it off-putting that a lot of fics ignore that he had a life before HYDRA and before the war. It only ever seems to come up in relation to Steve but not his own sense of self.

If he is going to define himself by consumer choices, why not explore what it means that he actually does have a sense of self within that paradigm...but all the things he wants to choose for himself are gone, lost to the passage of time? Why is his sense of self and identity less valid just because the ravages of time and capitalism have rendered all his preferences and choices unavailable? Is he really free to define himself if his options are limited to what is available today, but do not include what feels true to him and his live experiences?

I will add that I also suspect a lot of these fics are being heavily informed and biased by the personal experiences of the community that they were written by and for. In short, this community has way more survivors of sexual abuse and domestic violence that it has survivors of war and multigenerational poverty, and it shows. The way fandom in general tends to understand and write PTSD has less to do with war -- even the specifically American military-industrial version of it -- and more in common with surviving abuse.

I think some of that is an understandable product of the story. Most survivors of war and soldiers with PTSD were not in a long-term, on-going psychological manipulation that systematically and intentionally deconstructed their sense of self; yet that description, while extreme, is very applicable to what it feels like to be in and escape from an abusive relationships (whether a family dynamic or an intimate partner relationship).

There are many significant differences between "abuse/assault survivor PTSD" vs "war/external conflict PTSD," but I think one of the most relevant differences is the nature of the cause of trauma denying victims autonomy, agency, and self-determination.

This may not be easy to see at first because the military is so conformist. Everyone has the same uniform, code of conduct, and often the exact same lifestyle or schedule. But that's relatively superficial; it's almost a stereotype that as soon as soldiers with their first military paychecks get off base for the first time, they make a lot of bad but self-determining purchases like fancy cars and high-end consumer electronics. One of the reasons why the military as an institution is so enduring is because after this initial period of intense conformity and trauma, it's often a path of self-determination (or at least marketed as such): loans for housing, support for education, multiple career paths, etc. (The flipside being, of course, that the military can just as easily lock you into a career you don't want, or the trauma from it can make achieving any semblance of life after violence anywhere from difficult to impossible.) Meanwhile, abusive families and relationships are often exactly the opposite: superficially giving victims all the freedom in the world or only very few restrictions (at least as compared to the military), yet in practice locking victims into a specific lifestyle or path preferred by the abuser.

This manifests in the way a lot of fanfic authors write Bucky recovering from the Winter Soldier ordeal. He exercises a lot of autonomy and agency in his superficial consumer choices, yet often exercises very little real agency in the course of his life. Either he remains a superhero / supersoldier of some variety, or he has to take the extreme measure of completely dropping off the grid (and out of public eye, and often well away from everyone else in the world) to achieve any sense of peace.

A lot of Bucky Recovery fics don't really feel like a traumatized veteran or even traumatized abuse survivor moving on with their life or recovering anything significant. Instead, they have the same vibes as a military fresh recruit making dumb high-interest big purchases off-base while rushing back to base in time for PT, or someone in an abusive relationship celebrating a fancy haircut their partner likes while putting their education and career on hold for said partner. A lot of these fics feel like they make Bucky celebrate superficial appearances of autonomy and agency to obfuscate just how little self-determination he really has even after escaping HYDRA.

In a weird way, this feels like an apt metaphor not for the character but for the authors. Much like Bucky post-Winter Soldier, they cannot fathom a life of true independence from capitalism, and so envision the closest thing to it they can imagine while still remaining under the umbrella of capitalism and calling that freedom.

I am still pretty buried in work, but dropping in to comment on a trope I’ve seen popping up again and again in CA: TWS fic, which is: the horror and totality of Bucky’s deconstruction as a person is shown through the revelation that he doesn’t know what [food, clothes, music, coffee, etc] he likes, and a significant part of his reconstruction involves correcting this. 

This is very attractive trope. I enjoy reading it! But I want to turn a critical eye on it, and on my own enjoyment of it. This will surprise no one who’s been reading my blog for a long time, since I’m persistently and heavily critical of the selfist/consumerist ideology that underlies Western capitalist society. And that’s what’s going on here, really, I think: this trope is an expression of our understanding of what it means to be a person, and our anxieties about person-ness.

Keep reading

[wanderingwinds333]

What You Keep Hidden. Part 2

Pairing: Eris x Reader, Azriel x Reader.

Authors Note: I was a bit undecided on who I wanted y/n to end up with but I think I’m leaning towards Eris. let me know your thoughts!

Azriel couldn’t let it go. Not this time.

He flew down to the city and sent his shadows out to find you. Only to come up short.

He trekked to your cottage that lies on the outskirts of Velaris. You moved from the House of Wind shortly after Cassian and Nestas mating ceremony.

Once he stepped through your gates he was hit by a strong surge of magic that stopped him dead in his tracks. Wards. You warded your home against him and possibly the rest of his family, but why?

Azriel was no match for your magic on a normal day but his shadows have never had a problem breaking past wards. So he sent them through. He ordered them to tell him what they see.

“Mess. Mess everywhere Master. Remnants of Drugs. Myrthroot and another drug from the autumn court.”

The shadows bring the paraphernalia to him. He couldn’t believe it even though he was looking right at it. You were using drugs? How far had you fallen?

His shadows told him the drugs were from the Autumn court but how did you get them? His shadows didn’t even know the name of them or what they do.

Eris. He must speak to Eris.

He shadow walked directly to the Autumn Palaces doors. Eris had removed the wards from the inner circle in show of good faith and trust.

Eris appeared in seconds having felt Azriels magic cross autumns boundaries.

“Shadowsinger, what brings you here unannounced?” Eris asks a bit wearily.

“What can you tell me about this?” Azriel speaks and all but shoves the drugs in the new high lords hands.

“ Ahh Widows root. A popular drug that my father moved across Prythian. I have been trying to expel it from Autumn and put those away that were caught dealing it. How did you get it?” Eris questioned.

“That’s none of your concern. What does it do?”

Azriel had made a mistake though handing over the contraband.

Eris inhaled deeply and his eyes widened.

“Widows root is a numbing drug. Pain reliever of sorts but not for physical ailments. It shuts off an average faes emotions completely. Turns their mind off basically. But pray tell why y/n’s scent is all over this?” Eris’ eyes darkened in something close to rage.

“As I said before, that’s none of your concern.”

Azriel turned around to leave but flames incircled him.

“I do apologize for the fire but everything with her concerns me Shadowsinger.” Eris spoke unnaturally calm.

Azriel turned back to Eris with furrowed brows.

“How so?”

“She just does. Now I’ll ask again. Why is her scent all over these drugs?” Eris asked.

Azriel sighed. He knew Eris could be trusted now but this was still a family matter and he simply wasn’t family. But if he was going to get out of here with ease he might as well just tell him.

“My shadows found it in her home.”

“Has she been acting differently?” Eris’ tone switched to one of concern.

“Yes but she hasn’t exactly been the same since the war.”

The war was hard for everyone but for you it was life altering. Your family always knew what you were, half high fae and half witch. But the mother didnt stop there with you. Your magic had no bounds or limits. The mother had cursed you with the power of necromancy. You had swore to yourself that you’d never use it. You thought it was unnatural and wrong. But that day you saw your family losing. You knew what the future would be or lack there of if you didn’t intervene.

So when you did step out onto that battlefield you let hundreds of years of repressed magic flow out of you.

A simple incantation had a whole legion of Hybern soldiers drop to their knees and stop breathing. A moment later they were back up but with completely white eyes and under your control.

They fought at your whim. They fought until all their limbs had been cut off and could no longer stand. Only then did you remove your control of their body, when they were no longer of use to you.

You ravaged the field. Your family having a front row seat to your horror show.

They saw how your once golden hair turned ashen. How your normally kind blue eyes turned black with red veins running down your face. You looked like hel incarnate.

Your appearance eventually went back to normal. All except your hair. They did not know what that meant for you.

You were one of the main reasons the war turned in their favor but at what cost?

“Take me to her.” Eris demands breaking Azriels train of thoughts.

Azriel is now confused for a second time with the display of concern Eris is showing for you.

“Even if I wanted to ..I can’t. I don’t know where she is right now. None of us do. She disappears like this sometimes and it’s like she never existed. She never leaves a trail or anything.” Azriel sighs.

“Then I’ll find her myself since you all are incapable of finding one of your own.”

Before Azriel could argue Eris winnowed away.

Leaving Azriel more confused and with more questions than he originally came here with.

Back at the River House.

Azriel had just finished showing Rhysand and Feyre his memories from the encounter with Eris.

“How interesting. It seems his fondness for y/n never went away.” Rhysand speaks mostly to himself.

“What do you mean?” Azriel questions.

Rhysand knew it wasn’t his place to tell because of how much you loathed your necromancy powers but he went on to explain.

“Y/n’s parents were from a high ranking family in Hewn City. My father considered her parents close friends. They were ambushed on a mission my father assigned them to and were killed. Y/n then became my father’s ward. So she grew up around high lords meetings just like I did. She and Eris are only a few years apart in age.”

“Okay so what does that have to do with anything?” Feyre asks.

“Eris and y/n grew up together basically and for the longest time ignored each others presence. But around their early teenage years Eris had done something to upset Beron during a High Lords meeting he was hosting.” Rhysand sighed at the memory.

“In a display of dominance Beron had snapped the neck of Eris’ favorite smoke hound. There wasn’t many things Eris cared about and Beron knew that. So he took the one thing he raised from a pup. Eris did not cry. He did not yell. He simply picked the hound up and left the room. Y/N followed him out. I followed too but stayed in the shadows to watch them.” Rhysand continued.

“She healed the hounds neck and then brought it back to life with her powers. She explained to Eris this could only be done once because anything she brought back for a second time simply wasn’t the same after. He asked her if she could take the hound so it would be safe and y/n immediately agreed. And he hugged her. For the rest of their childhood they were inseparable but only if Beron wasn’t around. As they grew older and into the roles of their own court they grew apart. They never spoke a negative word about one another though. She cared for him and I believe that’s why she would always leave the room when one of us would talk badly about Eris.”

“What happened to the hound? I’ve never seen her with it?” Azriel questioned.

“Oh don’t remind me. That thing lives in the lower levels of the library. Y/n found out Bryaxis loves dogs and she thought he could use the company.” Rhysand speaks with distain.

His brother and mate could only stare at him with bewildered expressions. He just shrugged his shoulders.

“You forgot to mention the part of y/n and I’s history where she held a dagger to Mors throat for lying about my actions the day she claimed I left her for dead in the woods. That one’s my favorite.” Eris spoke from door frame he was leaning on. When the other three remained silent he carried on.

“I found her by the way. Passed out in the forest about a kilometer from her cottage. She had covered her scent somehow so no one could find her.”

“How did you find her then?” Azriel interrogated.

“I have my ways.” Eris smirked.

“Is she alright” Feyre asked concerned.

Eris’s facial expressions turned grim.

“No. She’s been using Widows Root heavily. I fear her withdrawal will be too much for her to handle. Her mind will need to be held. I wish to be with her when it happens if that’s okay.” Eris turns to look at Feyre and Rhysand directly.

Rhysand nods his head. “Of course but only if you can tell me why you are so concerned with her well being after all these years?”

A genuine smile breaks out on the autumn males face. A truly eerie sight for Feyre, Azriel and Rhysand after dealing with his cruel mask for so long.

“You don’t forget the first kindness that was ever shown to you Rhysand. That kind of thing sticks with you. I made a bargain with her that day you know? I told her I’d look after her always and never hurt her. In return she promised the same for me.” His smile dropped before he continued.

This confused Rhysand because he doesn’t remember there being a bargain.

“Clearly I didn’t look after her well enough. I knew when I took over my court I should have brought her with me. But she refused when I offered and I didn’t want to force her.” Eris spoke, frustration clear in his tone.

The whole display of emotions made Azriel very uncomfortable. He can’t lie and say he never thought of you as more than a friend because he did. You were beautiful and kind. But you weren’t someone that ever needed him. As bad as it sounds he was drawn to females who needed his help in some way. He wanted to feel useful. But with you, you always had it all together and never asked anyone for help. On the contrary you were normally the one besides himself that went out of your way to help others on the daily.

He knew what he felt was jealousy. Jealous over another damn Vanserra brother. The thought leaves him quickly as he checks himself. Before anything you were his friend. His feelings in this don’t matter.

“Azriel can you go fetch Madja. I’d like her to be with us incase anything happens.” Azriel nods his head and leaves. Feyre takes her exit as well to go check on Nyx.

The High Lord of Night holds a calculating stare at the High Lord of Autumn.

Eris can see the exact moment he figures it out.

“How long?” Rhysand asks.

“How long what?” Eris smirks with that arrogant way he has about him. Hoping he is wrong and Rhysand hasn’t actually figured out anything.

“How long have you and y/n been keeping your mating bond a secret?”

[ooooo-mcyt]

Do you guys ever think about what a turning point Double Life was for Joel?

During Third Life and Last Life, Joel was alone.

In Third Life he kinda floats around from alliance to alliance, being pushed into whatever faction is pushing hardest, and then dying with very little notice from the rest of the server.

In Last Life, Joel has allies sometimes, but they cycle in and out of his life. Scar, Grian, Lizzie, they're all there for an episode or two, but then they're gone. Joel is lonely, and he knows it, he feels the aching hollowness in his chest. Over and over Joel talks about needing a team, but instead he ends up the most hated man on the server with a roster of situational alliances.

That's who Joel is, someone who causes chaos, setting the world ablaze, who is sometimes tolerated for mutual benefit, but who's almost always alone, and who (as far as other people seem to notice) doesn't mind it that way.

And then Double Life happens.

The universe itself hands Joel a partner. Someone who's life relies on him, and who he has to rely on in turn. Someone who he has to trust implicitly. Someone who won't leave, because the two of them being a team is sewed into the fabric of reality for the season. And you can see how much lighter Joel is, how much he thrives when he isn't alone, when, for the first time ever, he can end one session and be able to fully trust that he'll still have someone on his side when the next one starts.

Of course, Double Life doesn't last forever. Limited Life comes around and, as far as alliances go, it's like the previous season never happens. It's..difficult for Joel. He takes every little betrayal (of which joel perceives many) from Etho very hard. Which could have left Joel in a worse place than he started. Joel could have lost Etho and decided to never let himself care about anyone again. But instead, he does the exact opposite.

In Limited Life, Joel clings to Jimmy and Grian. The universe showed Joel what it was like to be loved, and I get the sense Joel couldn't stand to lose that, so he found a team and held them so close they could never leave (he would have given jimmy more time, all the time he needed, to keep him at his side).

In Secret Life, Joel absolutely surrounds himself with people. Joel joins the largest faction on the server, never far from people, from life, from laughter or joy. There's no chance for Joel to ever really be alone unless he chooses to be.

And finally, Wild Life. Joel wins because of family. Because he came into the season and he fully opened himself up to love and trust from other people, and he received it back in droves.

I've seen people say it's ironic that Joel won through "family" instead of bloodshed, when he's such a hostile and isolated player. But, while Joel is still chaotic, he never wanted to be alone. Joel was isolated for the first two seasons, in part because of bad circumstances, and in part because he didn't think there was any other way to be. And then the universe showed Joel how it felt to be loved, and he's never let himself be alone since. Of course Joel thrived in Wild Life.

[venuslarkspur]

guys what if concerning dating history batsis did it with deathstroke.. or rose… WHAT IF HE’S HER SUGAR DADDY LMAO

OMG UR SO REAL FOR THIS THOUGH (Bruce is already getting grey hairs from this girl)

LIKE IMAGINE ME THIS ⬇️💗

Batsis and The Tale Of The Sugar Daddy (and gal pal Rose)

Warning: SLIGHT NSFW, canon dc violence, batfam shenanigans.

———————

Bruce: Listen I think it’s good that Batsis!Reader is financially independent now but where is she getting all this cash?

Tim mindlessly typing away: My theory is Roy got her pregnant and now Ollie has to bankroll them.

Damian: That’s ridiculous, they could have just came to father, Drake.

Dick who is sweating cause he knows why: Yeah..you’re probably right Tim..

Tim: What’s wrong?

Jason who is still agitated his sister is not only involved with his ex’s dad but also the ex: I’d tell you, but I was AND still am confused.

———————

- Batsis is definitely Rose’s awakening, she doesn’t care if she dated Jason that’s him fumbling not her.

- Batsis just started off as one of Rose’s friends when the masks were on, she didn’t know she was getting it on with her friends dad of all people.

- It’s difficult for anyone to really refute it when it comes to the age gap, yeah many think it’s gross but when they met she was the same age as Dick. (27-29) so if Bruce finds out not only can he not be argued with, Batsis will also bring up how his exes are just as bad.

- Not bc imagining Deathstroke who is just insanely soft on Batsis, say even if he gets her pregnant he isn’t going anywhere; Rose could use a little sister or brother ig. But y’all are careful, he knows better than to get a Wayne Family Heiress pregnant.

- I don’t write smut but Ik they are FREAKY, the one place they wouldn’t dare do it is Wayne Manor, he is cooked if they’re are caught there. He will have the Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, The Batgirls, Robin, Batwoman, Signal and probs more on him at that point. These mfs will let Batsis’s exes know that’s how petty there are about this.

- Imagine waking up with Deathstroke and ur both barely clothed and outside his window is the entirety of the Batfamily, Arsenal, Three Green Lanterns, Zatanna, Wonder Woman, John Constantine, Booster Gold, Harley Quinn and his own daughter are queuing up for first dibs.

- Slade knows about your problem with some of your exes (cough cough Hal Jordan) and aims to help you by drowning you in jewellery and clothes, like that new faux fur coat and boots? Yeah he bought you that, that new pearl and gold necklace with your initials? Yep he got it. That new skirt that’s shoes the perfect amount of thigh? Yep, his. Like all these past flames and flings (HAL JORDAN) know you’re seeing someone.

- Always reminds you how mischievous you are for getting nasty with him whilst being a “figure of honour and importance”, which quite frankly pisses you off, you’ve slept with most of your dad’s colleagues god damn it! He loves that it makes you feisty.

- Rose is super jealous, and you definitely share a heart wrenching goodbye kiss before she wishes you goodbye, you almost went after her before remembering your dinner date tonight and if went well you’d be confident to let your father know of your relationship.

- If your a vigilante, Rose knows your secret identity (wether you’re batgirl or not), Your Sugar Daddy doesn’t know and you quite frankly would rather he not, you make him swear off the Wayne Family all together, but you feel guilty at not being able to protect them when the masks go on.

- We know Batsis has a limit when it comes to his work, so she will break it off eventually, leaving all the dinner dates, passionate nights and shopping behind. You know you make him very happy (mostly aroused) but happy, so he’s always a phone call away, you’re always down for the occasional fling, and your time with him will always never be forgotten, even if you did the right thing, which isn’t your style at all.

- He’s up there with John Stewart and Wally West with top five men you miss but probably wouldn’t date again for different reasons.

—————————

IDK WHY THIS GOT ANGSTY THIS WAS MEANT TO BE FUNNY BUT WTH. Life goes on yall 😭🫶

[jazziejax]

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐙

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - Bad Boys AU! Kelvin Harrison Jr. x Black!OC & Bad Boys AU! Aaron Pierre x Black!OC

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - A normal day for the FBI agents who bicker like a married couple is the first day of many odd ones for a rich and beautiful business woman. But let’s look into how they first met.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - cursing…a lot, mentions of people’s races, descriptions of appearances, mentions of escorting, food wasting, I hope that’s all but let me know if I missed anything.

𝐉𝐚𝐳𝐳𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 - I have a lot planned for this Bad Boys AU, and I’m gonna love every second of it. That’s is if I get to wiring it all….we’ll see. I don’t want to poor anything but this could be a love triangle or… something polyamorous. UNEDITED AS OF RIGHT NOW!!!, I really wanted to get this out because I was so exited about what you guys thought, it’s 2:13 am. Also, this could be read as an ‘x reader’ I try to tray away from detailed descriptions. I just like to use names because it’s easier for me, I know you are all sick and tried of the self inserts and OC’s. It’s just easier for me to add a name :(

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 4,282+

𝐌𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚, 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟓

“Does this spaceship have any damn air in it?” The man from the passenger seat with his shades on asked, his voice muffled as he chewed on his burger. The sun was beating down on them through the small car and the heat was causing him to become irritable.

The taller and lighter man glanced over at him, his hand on the steering wheel as he leaned back in his expensive leather seats. “Quit worrying about my air and start worrying about that food in my car.” He said, glancing back at the road before looking back over at the hungry man over his own shades. “What is this having a picnic shit in my car?” He asked.

Kelvin sighed, pushing his shades up to rest on his head. “Please man, not right now, not today.” He said, annoyance clear on his tongue as he looked over at his partner. “I’m not getting any at home, don’t deny me this.” He spat before moving to take another bite of his burger. The light-skinned man couldn’t help the small amused grin that made its way into his face. “I mean, yeah, how could you when you still live with your mother.” He chortled. Kelvin snapped his head over to him, his eyes sharp. “I do not live with my mother!”

“Yes, you do. You live with your whole damn family!”

“I do not! I bought my family a big ass house and this economy is shit, okay?” Kelvin stated through slightly clenched teeth. “I can’t keep taking women back to my crappy ass apartment that I got on my crappy ass cop salary!” He continued as Aaron sped through the sunny city in the Florida heat. Unbeknownst to both of them, a car was in their trail.

Aaron was about to respond again before he got distracted by the huge bite Kelvin took from the burger and the fries he stuffed from his lap. He scrubbed his lip over at him. “Could you watch it with all that shit, alright?” Kelvin rolled his eyes and threw his head back with a grin as she chewed his food. After swallowing, he gave the man next to him a dead stare.

“Where are your cup holders?” He asked, disregarding what the man said as he looked around the small car. Aaron trained his eyes back on the road, clenching his hands on the steering wheel. “I don’t have one.”

“The hell do you mean you don’t have one?” He asked, his face scrunched in pure befuddlement at what his friend was saying. “$80,000 for this car and you ain’t got no damn cup holders?”

“It’s $105,000 and this just happens to be one of the fastest production of cars on the planet,” Aaron told him confidently, speeding the old model sports car up on the road out of pure cockiness. “0-16 in four seconds, sweetie. It’s a limited edition.” He smirked.

“Limited?” Kelvin said. “You got damn right it’s limited. No cup holder, no back seat. This is a shiny duck with two chairs in it. And I guess that makes us the balls just dragging the fuck along, huh?” He hissed before he reached into his lap for some fries, but the fast car and his clumsy nature caused the fries to fall, falling out of the small carton box they were in. “Oh, damn.” He mumbled, shooting a glance at his driving friend. Aaron’s head quickly snapped over to him, looking between the spilled fries and his hungry partner. “Sorry.” Kelvin winced.

Aaron then quickly wrapped the sports car into the nearest sidewalk, parking the vehicle. He took his shades off, still looking between the food on his floor and the crevices in between with a sharp eye, and then back up at the quickly agitated man. “Get it up.” He said firmly. Kelvin scoffed, looking the man up and down as he held his half-eaten burger.

“Now I know you see I can’t get down there. There’s no place for me to sit anything with this shitty car of yours.” He spat. The pair were so caught up in their bickering that they still didn’t catch the car that’s been trailing them, park right when they did. “And you got a damn engineering floor up in here, my shit ain’t going down up in there.” He said, holding up his hand to show that it wouldn’t fit.

“You know what, I’m not your damn mama.” Aaron spat. “I shouldn’t be cleaning up after your filthy ass.” Kelvin immediately held his finger up to his face. “Keep my mother out of your mouth, A-A-Ron, I told you that.”

“Quit calling me that!”

“And watch my hand, okay?” Kelvin ignored him as he continued, moving to try and stuff his hand in between the seats. “It can barely get down there. And when it does, it gets stuck. And what does that make, you get this shit!” He chided, hosing up the same hand to show his now crooked and coned fingers, a small grinning his face. Aaron gave him a black stare, both of the men unbeknownst to the women coming down the sidewalk and the woman from behind them sent as a distraction.

“You gone get them fries,” Aaron told him.

And while they were absorbed within their world of car chat and being tailed, two women were walking down the street having a conversation of their own.

“Thanks again, Fab.” One of the women said, glancing next to her to see her friend licking away at the frozen cream treat in the sugar cone. “For the ice cream, I mean.” She mumbled, glancing back down her the pink ice cream she held in her fist. The other woman glanced over as she swept her fresh blow out from her face. “I told you it was no problem, Addy.” She shrugged before giving her double chocolate ice cream another lick, the Miami sun shining down on her bronze skin.

It was silent then, the pair listening to the sound of their shoes hitting the pavement, Addy’s kitten heels making small taps while Fabiola’s stilettos punted against the pavement in her tried strut. They enjoyed their treats under the blazing sun, ears tuned into the chirping grids, the sound of playing children, and the city life moving past them. The air was thick with tension, both of their thoughts filled with burning assumptions, unanswered questions, and overflowing uncertainty.

This was still new for them. All of it. Although Addison and Fabiola had been friends for a while, their new living situation was still a task to get around, and there were certain lines neither of them ever crossed. Knowing each other since junior year of college, most would say they were best friends with opposite personalities. Addy was an adrenaline junkie to her core. She spent most of her college time drinking and throwing ragers. She was known for her sweet personality and down with all the frats and sororities. And no matter how hard she partied, she never failed an exam. Essays might not have been her strongest suit but she was damn good with numbers.

Fabiola on the other hand was sort of the opposite. She had her fair share of nice times on campus but she wasn’t really a ‘people person’. Fabiola grew up as the youngest girl of three boys with a beautiful mother and a strict and traditional father. She was a bossy perfectionist with a small temper and a no-bullshit attitude. All that to say, she was spoiled rotten, and making friends didn’t come easy. She hadn’t had a consistent friend in her life up until college. Now, she wasn’t a complete loner, she had friends at school growing up, but she never went out of her way to hang out with any of them. She was focused on one thing and that was her career. After seeing her mom be a housewife for so long, she knew it was a life that she never wanted to live. So he had her group and stuck to them.

That was until she was almost failing trigonometry and everyone she knew was recommending the campus's famous engineering major, Addison Montez. They would meet in the library every Friday afternoon to study, and eventually Fab began to help Addy with her papers for history. They were studying friends until the oh-so-comfortable and relaxed Addison recommended they go out to a party instead of being trapped within the thick smell of old paper and stale wood. And after that homecoming rager that took place at the HBCU two miles out, let’s just say they were almost inseparable after that.

It’s been years since then though. Life got real for them quickly and it was hard to keep in touch. Fabiola went on to inherit most of the money of her father when he passed since two of her brothers ended up being absolute useless shits with no career and the eldest son ran the medical equipment company. All while her mother ran off to Switzerland to marry a rich white man who was also widowed. They all still kept in touch but things were a little odd now.

Addison’s life, on the other hand, went a little downhill. She was never able to her master's degree because she didn’t have the money to pay for college. Things got so stressful for her point that she had to drop out, which her folks were not happy about. She could only live in her small hometown in the middle of bun-fuck nowhere working at GoodWill for two years before she packed her things into her shit box of a car and ran. That’s how she ended up in Miami, in her little apartment now making more than she was at Goodwill, although life still wasn’t that great considering what she now did for money. And that didn’t last long because the building she lived in was sold and she now needed a place to crash until she collected more cash.

And after bumping into Fabiola at the lingerie store, things went from there. They were friends again after so long. Casual and lighthearted conversations filled their hearts pure.

But their forced proximity begged for more clarity.

Fabiola moved her brown leather bag to her other hand, slipping it into the cuff of her elbow as she continued to eat her ice cream, biting into the cone and then licking some of the cream that fell away from her deep red manicured nails. She then looked down at her outfit, making sure the dripping treat didn’t hit her nice sweater or her crisp white shirt under it. “Just say what you’re thinking Addison.” She said, not even looking over at her friend before going back to her ice cream once she saw her outfit was clear.

Addison glanced over at her, licking her ice cream at a slower pace as her mind became more closed with doubts. She had her arms crossed, her free hand against the hairs in her exposed arms, due to the black halter turtle neck she had on that matched her small black heels, all paired with simple jeans. “I just…you don’t know how much I appreciate you.” She said. Her words were met with a groan from Fabiola, the woman throwing her head back.

“Enough.” She said firmly, turning her head to her. “You’ve said thank you to me more than you’ve lived longer with me. And it’s been two weeks.”

“I know, I know,” Addy added in a dejected tone, only giving the strawberry-flavored dessert in her hand kitten licks. “It just really means a lot to me right now. You don’t even know how much.” She said, letting out a small sigh. Fabiola’s eyes flickered back at her at her mellow tone, taking in the woman’s lost stare and guarded form. She awkwardly pressed her lips together, her eyes flicking away since she found the cars passing on the street much more interesting than the emotionally charged atmosphere. She then gulped. “Just say what you really want to say.” She said, the words coming out firmer than she anticipated. She ignored it, however, her eyes still looking at anything but the woman next to her as they walked back to her car.

Addison glanced her way when she spoke, but was met with the woman tucking her shoulder-length blowout behind her ear. She gulped herself, pursing her lips as she looked away. “I…” She trailed off. “I just don’t think it’s best for me to say it in this environment. In the open.”

“I would rather you say it before we’re trapped in my car for the next twenty minutes until we make it back to my place.” Fabiola didn’t miss a beat, cutting her eyes at her from the corner. “No pressure but it might be more awkward for you.” She said, and before she could finish, she then realized why she didn’t have many friends. Feelings were never really her thing, and this sensitive subject that Addison was clearly going through wasn’t her forte at all.

Addison nodded at her words as she licked her lips, totally forgetting about the melting treat in her hands. “Yeah, you’re right.” She sighed. “Okay. I, um…. Okay…I…work for a Madam.” She added quickly after her stuttering spout, then ate the rest of her ice cream as quickly as she could. Fabiola turned her lips up at her, watching as the woman sucked the ice cream that was most just cream now, from the cone. Addison turned to her, seeing her disgusted face. “Okay, damn, no need for the look.” She spat.

Fabiola blinked. “No, that was for the way you ate the rest of that ice cream.” She added, giving her a sideways glance as she bit into her cone. “I don’t really care about that other thing.” She shrugged as she brought her gold wire shades down to cover her eyes, her hair blowing more in its free form with the wind in her strut. Addison’s brows shot out at that. “Really?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged as she sped up some, seeing her car in the distance. “A check is a check, sweetie.” She said, flashing the girl a smirk and wink before licking at her ice cream again. They were coming upon her car, causing the woman to dig into her purse to find her keys with one hand. Addison blinked, shocked at her blasé attitude, and nodded her head as she followed after the woman. “Well, it’s not really a check.” She added with a small smirk. Fabiola glanced over at her, her arm still out as she dug into her purse to fetch her keys. “Well, money is still money.” She added, mocking annoyance with a smirk still on her lips as she found her keys. Addison grinned as well, watching as the woman stepped into the street to open her car door.

They paused however at the sound of commotion at the car behind them.

Back in the car, Kelvin and Aaron were still arguing.

“How imma get the damn fries, A-A-Ron?”

“Quit calling me that! Now look, this ain’t no got damn Denny’s, ain’t no eating in my car.” Aaron said before movement out of the windshield window caught his attention. His eyes were completely disregarding the woman in white, tilting his head to look around the planned distraction at the two women coming down the pavement.

“I wouldn’t be buying no shit from Denny’s anyway!” Kelvin continued, not paying attention to what the other man was staring at. “I don’t like the way we would’ve been treated.” He said before his eyes caught sight of the woman in white walking around the car. He looked the pale gorgeous woman in the short white dress up and down before glancing back at Aaron. “You weren’t worried about no damn fries anyway.” He snarked, looking the man up and down. “You all up in that.” He said. He then realized Aaron wasn’t all up in that white woman passing by, but the two beauties walking down the street. Kelvin glanced over, and it was like everything transformed into slow motion.

They watched as a woman in a grey suit practically strutted down the street. Her straight hair was touching her collarbones and belonged in the wind, her shades covering her eyes. She walked with a sense of authority and confidence, her equally attractive friend a few steps behind her, as she licked away at the chocolate ice cream in her hands.

“Damn.” Kelvin and Aaron said at the same time in the same breathy tone, tilting their heads as they looked the duo up and down, moving to the car in front of them.

They couldn’t admire her long before they were interrupted by the sight of guns entering their periphery.

“Get out of the car.” The scrawny white guy spat at Aaron. He glanced at the man before shaking his head with a sigh while Kelvin just dripped his.

“Damn.” He and Kelvin repeated. L

Kelvin looked the big burly man next to him up and down in disgust before his eyes went back to the gun lined at his face. “Now ain’t this some bullshit.” He spat. “The fuck is this?” Their attention was no longer on the women in front of them, but their attention was now on them.

“Me and my team, we’ve had a big week, so just get the fuck out of the car.” The white guy spat at them. Kelvin was too busy squinting his eyes against the sun as he looked out of the car at the large guy who held him at gunpoint. “Damn!” He said again, looking him up and down. “What you weigh in at, 350? I bet you a big Popeye chicken-eating son of bitch, ain’t you? Churches?” He asked causing Aaron to roll his eyes as he brought his hands up in surrender. “Hey, hey. Let’s chill.” He began when the man brought the gun closer.

Kelvin turned to his partner, his arms still down as he frowned. “Why do I always gotta get the big thick mothafuckas?” He tiffed. This only gained a reaction from the men who were robbing them. “Get the hell out of the car, now!” The white guy hissed as he moved to piped the door, causing the large guy to follow. Aaron and Kelvin were quick to exit, their hands raised. “Alright, alright, alright!” Kelvin yelled as he stepped out with his cup in his hand. He looked at the man in front of him while the other guy tried to lean Aaron against the car.

Fabiola and Addison looked back at the commotion, their mouths dropping at the sight of the robbery happening in front of them. Addison was quick to drop the soggy cone and move to the car, squatting down some in case things got wild but Fabiola was stuck, the rest of her cone in her mouth, scared to move in case the men’s guns turned their way. They stood there, just watching and listening.

“You know, now this is some funny shit,” Aaron said, his tone fed up as he held his hands up, glancing between the men that surround him.

“Shut up!” The small guy yelled. But Aaron just ignored him, looking at the angry man. “Let me tell you how bad a day you’re having. Right now you’re having a couple of FBI agents.” He stated. The shirt guy with sweat sliding down his face just looked at him. “Oh yeah? Well, I’m a stand-up comedian.” He added. “And I suck! That’s why I need your car.” He shouted through clenched teeth as he took a step closer.

“We’re dealing with a couple of cops and some lunatics out here,” Fabiola stared on with bated breath, not able to rip her eyes star from the scene.

“Hey, look!” Kelvin spoke up, still not having taken his eyes off the man in front of him. “I ain’t no Wesley Snipes, I just hang out with stupid ass friends that drive stupid ass cars that’s attract a lot mothafuckin’ attention!” He yelled, emphasizing his words every time he glanced back at said ‘stupid ass friend’, who now had a gun to his head. Aaron didn’t seem to care about any of that at the moment, his jaw downing at Kelvin’s statement.

“You know what? I need to jump over this car and smack you upside your peasy ass head, that’s what I need to do.”

This caused Kelvin to turn around, the men now facing each other as they disregarded the burglars who watched them. Fabiola furrowed her bed at them while Addison raised from her crouch position, less scared as she watched the so-called cops argue with guns to their backs. “A couple of lunatics as cops too.” She said, adding to what she heard Fabiola state. They watched as the men screamed at one another, the men with guns slightly backing off out of confusion and tension.

“Yeah, cause your ass was arguing over a stupid ass, mothafuckin, French fry!”

“It’s not about the French fry!”

“It’s a fry!”

“It’s about your lack of respect for other people's property!” Aaron screamed, pointing over at him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” The scrawny man behind Aaron yelled.

“That shit is stupid!” Kelvin shouted back at Aaron. “Shut the fuck up!” The large dark-skinned man spoke up, pointing his gun at him. Kelvin’s head snapped back to him, face grimaced in pure anger. “Hold on! You hold the FUCK ON!” He yelled at him before turning back to argue. “Now you want some bad enough, come get some!” He added before quickly turning around and throwing his chocolate milkshake onto the large man, not missing a beat to kick him in the nuts and then rip the gun off his hips. All while Aaron simultaneously elbowed the man behind him in the face before then turning to sucker punch him, causing the perps to both hit the ground.

“You like that shit?!” Kelvin continued to yell, pointing his gun down at him. He moved around, kicking the gun far from the burglars' hands as he held his own to the man’s head. “Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57! Now give me a mothafuckin’ handy wipe!” He spat with a smirk, his glare on the large man.

Aaron let out a sigh as he pulled out his gun, pointing it down at the man who seemed to be concussed on the ground.

“Now let’s hear one of those jokes, bitch.” He spat. He heard w let out a large laugh from the other side of the car, causing him to glance over. He had a smirk of his own on his lips, green eyes relaxing in the sun. Their ultra-cool moment was interrupted by the sound of a car unlocking, causing both cops to look over at the two women from earlier staring at them.

Addison was quick to open her door, her eyes darting between the scene in front of her one last time. “Sick shit.” She said with a grin before entering the car. Fabiola still stood there, shocked as she looked between the two cops. It seemed as though the halt in the screaming caused her to snap out of her thoughts, leading her to blink. Her eyes moved over to the shorter man, who was dressed in a simple white tee and black dress pants, all high in his built figure. The hold of his chain, belt buckle, and other jewelry stood out against his brown skin. His shirt waves were smooth on his head and his cute face was sort of clean-shaven, her eyes attaching themselves to his stunning and plump lips.

“What she said.” She spoke up, nodding her head to the woman in the car. “That was…cool.” She nodded. Her sultry voice caused both men to tense up but quickly relaxed, the smooth sound unexpected to both of them. Her shades were also on, covering her eyes from telling them what she truly thought, and why she was still there speaking to them. Kelvin nodded his head at her, not hiding the way he looked her up and down. “Thanks.” He said, a small smirk making his way into his lips.

She nodded at him before her eyes then made their way to the man on the other side of the car. His figure was taller and larger, and although his suit was baggier, she could tell the muscles under it were strong and sculpted. His outfit was similar to Kevin’s, although his was grey and he had his blazer on. What caught her attention the most was his eyes, the bright and striking color of them held her captivated from the rest of his face. The icy blue irises looked back at her as her eyes gave his face a quick once over, admiring his large ears and nice goatee, and a sexy smolder on his lips.

“Nice car.” She added, nodding at the fancy Porsche that they surrounded. Aaron blinked, his eyes not leaving her face. He was caught in the way the hair blew the wind, framing her face perfectly. Though he only knew her for mere seconds, he hoped desperately that some unknown force would come in a swoop the glasses from her face to see her clearly. “Thank you. Porsche.” He said, snapping out of his quick start of thinking. His eyes then moved to the one she stood by, nodding his ear down to it. “What that?” He asked.

The pair could both see one of her brow arch at his question, a smirk making its way into her lips. “A Ferrari.” She said, placing her hand on her hip as she looked between the two of them. Aaron’s eyes widened as he stood straighter, looking between the car and the woman. “F512M. Nice right? I know.” He said, not even waiting for a response to her question that she answered herself before opening the door. She didn’t even give them one last glance before hopping into the nice grey car and pulling off, making sure to rev her nice engine.

Kelvin and Aaron stood there, guns still pinged at her knocked-out perps, watching the car as it quickly drove away from them. Kelvin seemed to relax without the woman in his vicinity, his shoulders dropping but his arms still raised to aim his gun. “We should get these guys…somewhere. I want ‘em the hell up outta my face.” He grumbled before moving to grab his phone and pager from the car to call down the local police. Aaron raised as well, his gaze moving from the sunset the woman drove off into, to the hot pavement the burglar laid on. “Forget them, this one’s probably dead. I wanna know who the hell that was.”

“Someone out of both of our leagues,” Kelvin added, his focus on the phone in his hands. Aaron jerked his head back, sending the man a dirty look. Before he could even begin an argument, Kelvin had already raised his finger, halting him. “Even for you Mr.Playboy. You don’t have a Ferrari.” He said before sending him a sarcastic smile and then turning away with the phone held up his ear.

Meanwhile, in the car, Fabiola had a grin on her face as she pushed her glasses back up into her hair. “Girl, them cops were fione!” She said, causing Addison to laugh. “You know, besides all the armed robbery stuff, that wasn’t a bad sight. I love to see some brothers in action.” She cheesed, letting out a laugh as she rethought the whole ordeal they witnessed.

“Yeah, they were pretty fine.” Addison nodded, dragging out the word pity as she grabbed the matinee she left in the woman’s dashboard. “And probably married. Brothas that cute can’t be single. Agents at that. And in that car? I know their women love them.”

“Mmhmm.” Fabiola hummed in agreement, a small smirk on her lips as she nodded her head. She then let out a scoff at a sudden thought. “Probably white women too.” She stated, causing Addison to let one out as well. “Let’s get off that.” Fabiola waved off with a quick roll of her eyes. She couldn’t dwell on the thought of those fine men being tired down so some non-sisters that couldn’t love them and understand like she could.

What the hell am I talking about? I don’t know them and I’m damn sure never gonna to see them again, get over it, girl. This is the adrenaline and sugar talking. She thought to herself.

“Why the hell don’t I know Miami was this crazy? I knew it was fun in the sun but damn, am I gonna get a gun pulled on me?”

“I’m this car in certain areas? Sista they might try to kidnap you for ransom.”

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

My tumblr is tripping, I don’t have a tag list for some reasons so if you want to be part of it, let me know, and pretend that Aaron has an American accent or I will make jokes on why a British man is apart of the United States FBI.

[writing-mlm]

saw you do familial reqs? damian with an older brother figure reader would be so awesome.. bonus points if he’s also some moody bat and just kinda sees himself in damian. he used to be a sort of outcast himself, so he can empathize with damian when dame feels like he’s sort of ostracized from the other robins or bat fam members.

Annual New Robin Trip

Summary: Damian’s been Robin long enough that it’s his turn to go on the Robin Trip Pairing: Damian Wayne & Brother!reader Wc: 4.5k tags/warnings: sibling bond, both were child assassins, Bruce is bad at parenting

Dick was the bubbly, bumbling Robin. People used to say he was truly a circus kid; flipping from chandeliers and being a little terror. Although everyone is pretty sure he was definitely out for blood whenever he had the chance. He would tell the most awful puns while fighting and Bruce wouldn’t even scold him. 

Jason was just happy to be there, he had everything he could ever ask for and he was taken in by Batman! Oh, boy- oh, boy! He would hide under the cape and yell boo to all the petty criminals Bruce let him fight. Until he couldn’t anymore. 

Tim had the easiest life prior to donning the R on his chest. After that, he was the worst Robin. Not because he was bad; Tim was arguably the best Robin during his career but because he never got to experience the things Dick or Jason had. He was left picking up the pieces after Jason’s death, holding Bruce together to the best of his abilities. He went out on patrols alone, with no cape to hide under or any grumpy adult to hold in a chuckle. 

Stephanie wanted to prove a point, she pushed Bruce in ways Tim didn’t. But in the end, she was pushed to the side. No one even remembers her time as Robin. The girl Robin, the blonde one. It was only what… seventy-five days? Why would anyone remember her? Forgotten in the murky waters of Batman’s timeline. Erased. 

Damian wasn’t as fortunate. He didn’t come from Gotham or a traveling circus hiding a cult. He came from the Ra’s Al-Ghul, he came from the demon head. Born a killer, bathed in the pit— his life was cursed from the beginning. Sorrow and rot; that’s what his life was even after he put on the Robin suit. Despite being the only Robin connected to Batman by blood, he was the biggest outside in the bunch. 

He couldn’t do anything right. He kept messing up— his father was constantly disappointed by him and he couldn’t figure out what he was doing wrong. He’s doing what he was taught— the blade. He hadn’t meant to take another life— he was trying to be better. But he doesn’t realize when he’s going too far because, for him, the limit didn’t exist until less than a year ago.

You could relate to that… all too well. 

“What do you want?” Damian grits when he spots you on his desk, messing with one of his countless knives. He hides his face, not wanting to show a weakness— his weakness. “I thought father threw you out.” Some time ago, maybe two months ago, you and Bruce had gotten into an explosive argument that ended with a frozen pork chop on your eye and a frozen bag of peas on his chin before he told you never to come back.

“He did,” You hum, unfurling yourself from the desk and standing tall. “I know the security system— and Pennyworth let me back inside.” You smile. 

“Pennyworth shows little loyalty to father,” He spits, sitting on the bed. 

“He shows plenty, Damian. He knows something that Bruce doesn’t, at the moment.” You tilt your head as you add the last part. Bruce will find out sooner than later anyway, might as well tell him.

“And what’s that?” He asks arms crossed as he glares at you. You look away and huff, rolling your head onto your shoulder. 

“I need his opinion on something, something important.” 

“And you’re in my room?”

“I also wanted to speak to you,” You admit. “You’ve been here long enough for us to continue the tradition.” He pauses, hand settling on the dagger he keeps in his pocket. 

“What sort of tradition?” The only traditions he’s used to are fights or death; neither of which is he in the mood for. 

“Nothing like the League, I can assure you. I.. I take all the Robins on a… bonding trip after they’ve settled in.” You explain, now sitting on a chair. “I took Jason to the arcade and a library in Prague, Tim to my family’s annual barbecue and fishing, and Stephanie to this spa retreat for the weekend. It’s your turn.”

“Why would I care for this… bonding trip?” He asks, setting the dagger down. “I’m not like the others— I’m better. I don’t need some stupid trip with a rejected hero,” Shrugging, you look at the mirror on his wardrobe. You see Damian, sitting while glaring at you. You see yourself, staring at the signs of age and tiredness on your, admittedly, not old body. 

“Talk to the others about it, just not Richie. He never got one.” Leaving, Damian thinks for a second before he follows after you. As quiet as a mouse, he slips into the cave after you, clinging to the darkness as he’s been trained to do. 

“Is it that time already?” Dick asks when you enter with your hands in your pockets. He’d been talking with Bruce about something, but he was too far to hear. Bruce spins around, looking you up and down with a watchful gaze. 

“I have news,” You roll your eyes when Dick pulls you into a hug. “About my assignment.”

“No one assigned you to it,” Bruce reminds you, guilt flashing over his eyes. You shrug and lean against your older brother, your head resting on his shoulder. He squeezes your arm, happy to see you again. He’s always been happy to see his first baby brother safe and sound; at home. 

“I found their base; took them down, too.” You tell them, fighting the urge to tuck into yourself. “They were hiding out in Australia.”

“Did you kill them?” Bruce asks. Damian pressed against a rock, his small figure hidden perfectly as he watched the three of you. You don’t answer, but your eyes drift to the ground when Bruce sighs through his nose. “I have one rule.”

“I know,” You stress, pulling away from Dick. “I know! But I didn’t mean to! But they wouldn’t give me any other choice; do you think I wanted to kill them? I tried to save them,”

“Clearly not hard enough,” Bruce blinks and Damian falters in the same way you did. Bruce had said the same thing to him not even three hours ago. “You should’ve contacted me. I could’ve saved them.”

“I tried,” You stress. “I called and I sent letters. I- I— You never answered me! I didn’t want to kill them!” 

“B,” Dick puts a hand on your shoulder as you sniff and look away. “You know that they wouldn’t go; he had to.” 

“We could’ve—“

“God! You’d think after raising one child assassin he'd be better at this.” You spit and wipe your nose. “You’re still shit at helping us.”

“(Y/n),” Bruce sighs. “You know I love you and I love Damian, you’re my sons.” He holds your shoulder and you falter, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“Hell of a way of showing it.” He doesn’t apologize, Bruce doesn’t know the word sorry but he hugs you. You don’t hug back, just pat his shoulder until he pulls away.

“I’m glad you’re home safe.” He whispers before he finally pulls away. “It’s a shame you had to kill them.” Nodding, you look at Dick. 

“I had to kill my parents,” You admit, trying to keep yourself composed when he frowns and immediately hugs you. “They kept calling me and calling me, begging me to join them again. I couldn’t… I’m tired of killing. I see them when I sleep, their faces. Their blood was so warm.”

Damian looks away, flashes of the people he’s killed plays through his mind and he leaves the cave. He needs to be alone. His eyes are stinging and he’s sure if he breathes any harder he’s going to be spotted.

“Aside from that,” You clear your throat and fix your clothes. “Damian’s been Robin for… some time now. It’s nearing the time where I take the new Robin out for a trip.” 

“If he agrees,” Bruce nods. 

“I still haven’t been taken out for a trip,” Dick dramatically sighs. 

“You’re older than me. You’re supposed to take me.” 

“Can I?” He gleams and you shake your head with a smile before walking away. “Please!”

“No, Dickie. You suck at planning,”

—

You don’t spend the night at the manor; it hasn’t felt like home in years. You hate your old room, you hate how Bruce hasn’t touched it since you’ve gone; everything besides that stupid broken picture frame. It’s been swept up, and replaced with a different frame. 

And somehow, the picture that was inside sits on your kitchen island. 

Your current place is temporary, rented out on a monthly basis with some shady landlord you don’t truly care about. The lease is hardly a day old, so for someone to have known where you lived they must’ve been recently following you. For them to have access to the picture they’ve been in the manor. Because that’s the same picture, you know because there’s an inky, smudged fingerprint on the back. 

“You were close to my father?” Damian asks as you enter the living room, still holding the picture in your loose grip. 

“Thick as thieves,” You grin, although there’s no happiness or warmth behind it. Setting the table on the side table, you sit next to Damian. 

“You mentioned your family's barbecue earlier but they’re assassins. Assassins don’t do family barbecues,” He should know. 

“Different family,” You breathe in, staring down at him while he looks around the dingy apartment. “I… My blood family are assassins and yeah; no family barbecues. But eh… I’m sort of married,” You laugh and his head snaps to you. “Yup, I got married at twenty. Love of my life, they’re wonderful. I consider their family my own,” He tuts at the idea of love and you remember yourself doing the same thing when you were his age. 

“I assume they know?”

“My spouse does, yes. Their family… do not. It’s not exactly something they’d want to hear about their son-in-law.”

“Does father know you’re married?” 

“No— maybe,” You shrug. “If he does he’s never mentioned it. I don’t hide it but I never bring them around him.” He tuts and stands up. You watch with a careful eye as he struts into your kitchen and steps up to the counter, climbing to reach the cabinet and then standing to reach the top shelf to grab a cup. He rinses it out before opening the fridge. 

His nose turns up at the options and you hold back a laugh, watching as he picks out the water jug before pouring himself a glass. He sniffs the water, eyeing you wearily before holding the cup to you. 

God, you’d done the same exact thing to Bruce when you first arrived. 

Taking a sip, he seems content when you don’t have a reaction other than pouring yourself a cup and slowly sipping his drink.

“I assume you’re from the Shadows?” He’s strutting back to the couch while you lean against the counter, holding the cup by the rim with the ends of your fingers. 

“Shadow adjacent. Subsection created about fifty years back,” 

“So you were born into it?” He sets the now empty cup on the table and picks up the picture, carefully examining it, and then checks the date on the back. “For twelve years before you met Father.”

“I was,” You nod. “Joined Bruce and Dickie.”

“Before you gave up.” He adds. You laugh, shaking your head before finishing your water in one big gulp. 

“Damian, I didn’t give up. I was… I couldn’t live up to Bruce’s expectations. It’s hard not killing but I tried. I tried for years. But every time I went out someone died. So, I learned to use computers, I stayed in the cave and watched over everyone. I was the Oracle before Oracle was a thing.” 

“You were a coward,” He corrects with a tight voice. “You gave up and hid inside of the cave when you could’ve helped people!” 

“Damian. It’s not cowardly to stop trying. Because I did eventually go back, but it was under my rules. I stopped listening to Bruce’s voice, his rules, his insane expectations. Dick mentioned you like Veil?”

“I do,” He gives one curt nod. “They’re effective and father gives them high praise.”

“That’s me, Damian.” You grin and for a moment, his jaw goes slack but he quickly composes himself. “You can call Bruce. I have the suit in my closet… help yourself, I guess,” Watching as he rushes into your bedroom, he shuffles through clothes before he pulls out your suit. 

“I suppose you’re not a coward.” He settles in when he neatly puts the suit back in its spot. 

—

“Yes, Bruce?” You sigh, phone placed between your ear and shoulder as you’re sorting through laundry. “What do you want from me? My soul? My last piece of self-worth?”

“(Y/n),” He sighs that old man sigh he’s started doing after Jason came back and he realized he had to deal with two homicidal sons. Three now. “Damian has requested you at the manor.”

“Tell him I want to experience the Robin Trip.” You hear Damian say and you smile. “Father, tell him!” He demands and you think you can hear him stomping his foot. 

“He wants you to take him on the Robin Trip,” Bruce relays. 

“I’ll be there in an hour. Pack enough clothes for about five days. Nothing fancy, either.”

You arrive in your trusty mom van. It’s a lovely seven-seater with plenty of trunk space and a rack on the top. Of course, Alfred wouldn’t let you just stay in the driveway. No, it was late so of course, you had to stay for dinner and you’ll leave in the morning. Pinky promise. 

“Reject is back,” Jason grins, giving you a tight hug. You hug him back, swaying him from side to side. You’d missed him when you came over the week prior; something Dick says he simply will not stop complaining about. 

“Oh, hey,” Tim looks up from his dinner plate and offers a nod. You never did get too close to him; he never wanted an older brother. He wanted Bruce and you simply weren’t him. You nod back, running your fingers along Jason’s head before he shoves your hand away; chiding that he’s not a kid anymore. 

“Hmph!” Damian stands between you and Jason, arms crossed as he looks between the two of you. You smile and ruffle his hair despite his protests and threats. 

“Staying for dinner?” Bruce asks from the head of the table, reading the daily newspaper. Even though it’s well into the afternoon, almost night. 

“At Pennyworth's insistence,” You nod, detaching yourself from Jason and Damian. “Unless there’s an issue with that.” You add. 

“No,” He shakes his head while setting the paper down. “None at all, please, stay. There’s always a room open for you.”

“Aside from the times he kicks us out,” Jason pretends to whisper while Dick barrels down the stairs. You think he did trip at some point but he caught himself. 

“I missed you!” He squeezes you just as tightly as you’d squeezed Jason and you cringe, patting his back. Jason snickers while Damian tuts and heads to his seat at the table.

“You saw me last week, Dickie.” You’re put back on your feet and Dick sighs, leaning away from the hug but holds you still. 

“After not seeing you for months!” He adds, the smile dropping as he checks you over. This time in proper lighting. “God, leaving me here alone with Bruce. I’ve had to smile every single day with him waiting for you.” He mutters just loud enough that you can hear. 

“Not like I had a choice,” You grit, eyes flickering to the table. “Dinner?” You sigh. 

“Yes, do take a seat.” Alfred smiles. “I’ve prepared your favorite, Master (Y/n).”

“You shouldn’t have,” You smile at him. 

“You really shouldn’t have,” Jason sighs and turns to Damian. “He has the worst taste in food.” 

“Jason, not everyone likes burgers dipped in cheese and barbecue sauce.”

“Exactly,” He nods as if you’ve proved his point.

Surprisingly, dinner goes off without a hitch. There were not more than ten snarky remarks, not once did someone awkwardly fake cough to move the conversation along, and everyone’s food remained on their plates. 

“Where will we be going?” Damian asks after insisting he walks you to your bedroom. 

“You’ll see,” You grin. “I think you’ll like it.” 

“I do not like none-answers,” He huffs, crossing his arms. “You could be leading me into a trap.”

“Bruce approved,” Is all you’re willing to give him. It satiates him for now and he stands at your door, waiting for you to go inside. “Be ready by five, we should leave early.”

“Alright,” He nods and walks away before stopping midstep. “Sleep well, (Y/n).”

“Goodnight, Damian.” He nods and continues into his room. 

—

At five on the dot, Damian knocks on your door. You open it, already dressed and packed. He’s the same, with a large bag slung over his shoulders and an almost happy expression on his face. 

“Head downstairs, I need a couple of things.” He hums and turns on his heel while you look around your room. Grabbing one of the first books you’d fallen in love with, you slip it into your bag and then your first-ever sketchbook. 

Once you’re downstairs, Alfred hands you a metal mug with your favorite breakfast drink, then a neatly wrapped breakfast sandwich, and then a light lunch. He knows you won’t stay for breakfast and wishes you farewell. You thank him and load up the minivan, Damian sits in the passenger seat and you have to question if he should be in the back. And in a booster seat. 

For some reason, you don’t think he’d take to sitting in a booster seat. 

Driving off, you play calm music and sip your drink. He’s quietly eating next to you, careful to not get crumbs in the car. He falls asleep halfway into the drive, his head hanging in an awkward position so you maneuver to lower the seat for him. He stirs awake, grabbing your wrist as you’re moving away but he drops it once he realizes it’s you and slowly falls back asleep. 

Eventually, you reach your farm. A lovely place in a lovely town that has flea markets every Friday and everyone keeps their doors unlocked. 

Your land is sectioned off by a lovely oak fence, spreading across the eight acres, a dull red mailbox with the hand up greets you and you check the box. There’s a small package and two letters that you toss onto the dashboard. 

Damian wakes up as you’re driving up, his eyes finding the cows and chickens you keep lazily chewing on the grass. He sees a wild fox, chasing a wild rabbit through the lawn, scaring a group of pigs inside of their pen in front of a horse stable.

He sniffs the air, confused. It doesn’t smell like livestock and he knows how livestock farms smell. 

“Where are we?” He asks, craning his neck to look behind him. There’s nothing but open fields for miles but he can see a house in the distance. 

“My house,” He turns back to you. “I have a homestead— it’s just a fancy word for living on a farm, really.” 

“You do believe in botulism, correct?” He sneers, stepping out of the van. You bark a laugh and nod. 

“I’m not crazy about it— I just raise my animals and tend to my crops when I’m not out being Veil.”

“Why would you decide to live here?” He asks and you notice his tone isn’t as harsh as it once was. His eyes scan over your fields with a look almost similar to contentment. He looks at the cow with a fondness you can share while you collect your bags. “You’re an assassin, not a farmer.”

“I can be many things,” You shrug. “I’m a farmer, a vigilante, a painter, a former assassin. I’m not bound by one thing. Don’t you have hobbies?”

“I have no time for such trivial matters,” He turns his nose up as he pushes inside the house. 

“Ra’s is a doctor on the side. Dick is a detective. Jason takes care of the orphaned kids. Tim runs a company. I’ve seen his skateboard collection. I’ve seen Dick teach gymnastics at the local gyms. Bruce has his charities and all of his foundations. Jason has an enormous collection of books.”

“I only read informative books, anything else is a waste of my time.”

“Maybe,” You shrug. “Let me show you to your room, you’ll settle down and then meet me in the kitchen. Take as much time as you need, there’s no rush.” He nods and you show him to the guest room. It’s incredibly plain but nice. You shut the door behind you and text Bruce that you’ve arrived without any hiccups. He doesn’t reply but you see that he’s read the text and you go about your day. 

You have a pair of old working boots from your spouse's nephew visiting; they should fit Damian just fine. Setting them on the bench, you slip yours on and wait for him. He doesn’t take long, walking down with careful eyes until he sees you. 

“I assume I’m to wear these?” You nod and he tuts, slipping them on. “What type of training is this?” 

“You’re going to learn patience and to enjoy life.” You smile, ruffling his hair before tossing him an egg basket. 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

—

Dick reacts with hearts as you're sending him pictures of Damian collecting duck and chicken eggs. Videos of him milking cows and cleaning out the pig pens. He’s glad that Damian is having fun, each picture and video seems to have Damian in a better mood. You send him pictures of his drawings and he remarks that he’s already talented with a pencil. You don’t tell him that he’s gotten into reading, too. But you do tell Jason, swearing him to secrecy. 

You look up at Damian as he sits on your porch, an easel and canvas in front of him as he paints your backyard. It’s only been three days but you’d like to think you’ve made an impression on him. He’s woken up earlier than you to feed the animals, he enjoys talking to them and tells you that your defenses are subpar. So you took him into town to grab items to make your fence stronger. 

He hated when the townsfolk would coo at him, remark that he’s such a strong boy for carrying the wood and bags while you carried the metal and other bags. You wonder how he’s going to like the flea market. You hope it won’t be overwhelming for him; you know it was for you the first time you went. 

“What happens when they die?” He suddenly asks, still painting one of your cows. Looking up from your phone, you stare at the back of his head and then the painting. 

“You know how I’m a metahuman, right?” He nods. “I can… see how much longer anything living has. And I can communicate with animals, so, I tell them. I tell them that they don’t have much longer. Sometimes they ask to be left in peace. To die naturally. Other times they tell me to get it over with; they’re ready. If they ask that, I’ll… take them to the butcher. They agree, of course.”

“So the meat we’ve eaten these past days…”

“That was from my chicken Mile and my cow Dan-Loop.”

“Why? How could you?” You notice that his grip on the paintbrush is tightening and you inch closer to him. 

“Because it’s what they wanted. They know they’re farm animals, they know that humans eat their meat. They know. And some of them don’t care. They live happily here. And I give them the option of what they want to do. One time, one of my pigs was dying and SeaSaw told them that he wanted to be released. Travel as far as he could before he returned to the Earth. I watched that pig run and run for a while before he turned and looked at me. He thanked me and went up that hill and stared at the sunset.”

“Isn’t it hard?” He asks. “Raising all these animals knowing you’re going to outlive them.”

“It is. But I also know that I’m giving them an amazing life. It’s better than them being stuck in cruel mills. They’re seen and heard. And trust me, if those ducks and chickens were angry, your hand would be picked at for trying to take their eggs.” Damian nods, looking down at you. You’re looking at your animals, taking in the setting sun. 

“Do you think father would let me start a farm?”

“Maybe. Ask him on a good day. If he does, you can take Jerry. He likes you,” Damian beams, knowing exactly which animal you’re talking about. 

“Okay, thank you.”

—

“Why did you leave and come here?” Damian asks as you’re driving to the flea market. “You mentioned you couldn’t stand being around father.” The question makes you think about your years with Bruce, all the things he’d taught, and the things you spent years unlearning. Things weren’t all bad with Bruce, though. You still cherish your fond memories like the first time he’d taken you to the ice cream parlor or when he’d taken you to the Monterey Bay Aquarium after he saw you watching Nemo too many times in a row for it to be a simple obsession. 

“Bruce and I have a complicated history. And sometimes, to love someone, you need to stay away. I can’t see your father too often; it’s too painful. I care about him; I’m sure he cares about me but it’s too much. We’re too different. And coming here was like…” You purse your lips. “I was finally free from what I'd become. I could live a separate life from my place in the family. I had no obligations here; I made it my own.”

“What’s your place?” He asks, sparing you a glance. 

“I wasn’t the best at what I did. I was angry, a lot. I don’t know if you’ve met yet, but Mr. Fox would say I was moodier than Bruce. I was violent; I wasn’t sure of my place in any of this. I kept trying to prove myself to Bruce but I kept failing. I felt like a mistake for a long while.” He looks down at his lap, messing with his jeans before he speaks up again. 

“What made that feeling go away?”

“Getting hobbies.” You admit. “I drew a lot. I made friends. I got closer to Dick and Jason. I removed Bruce from that pedestal and saw him for the man he is. Not as the man I wanted him to be.” 

“What man is he?”

“He’s like us. He’s flawed and he makes mistakes. He’s not perfect and neither are we. We’re all trying. Now, come on. Your father gave you five thousand so you can buy whatever you want.”

He smiles and grabs the bag from the dashboard, leaving you in the dust while he admires the homemade objects people are selling.

[obsessedhoneycomb]

Unplanned

George Russell x fem!reader

Summary: High school sweethearts having the best time of their life, when everything seems so perfect. But sometimes, things don’t go as we plan them.

Warnings: angst, unwanted pregnancy, some curse words, a bit of sadness (but it gets better, I promise!)

A/N: I had a dream earlier this week, so it’s based on it. I don’t know how I feel about it (I read it nearly ten times, it’s fine, I guess.), personally I don’t think that George would act like he did in the beginning of this fic, so take it as a part of the plot. I have some ideas for possible part two, but who knows if I make it happen.

Please don’t use my writings without my permission! Pictures found on Pinterest.

———

Young and naive love, that’s all they’ve always said when they saw you and George intertwined with each other every time you walk through the paddock. Meeting at high school, you knew he was the one, and his thing about racing, it was something that attracted you even more.

You always loved to ruffle his hair before the driver’s parade, just to make him grumpy, because he spent so much time fixing his wave of golden brown locks. The way he could make you smile, his warm embrace giving you peace and comfort, the days you enjoyed in the countryside with your families because your parents simply knew each other.

It was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

George’s move to F1 was sure, his dreams coming true, he couldn’t be more happy and motivated to push himself to the limits more. On the other hand, you just found out the horrible thing.

Walking through the paddock in Brazil, you fought the nausea, as you held onto George’s hand. You tried to tell him, but you were interrupted by someone or something every time. He noticed your strange behaviour, your pale face.

“Are you well, love?” He suddenly stopped to get a better look at you, leaning down closer to you.

This was your only chance to say it. “George, I’m pregnant.”

Your whispered words nearly gave him a heart attack.

“You’re- what?”

“You heard me. I don’t want to yell it here.” Your hand went to his cheek, the warmth of his skin seeping into your palm, bringing you comfort for your nerves.

George just stood there, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief. He grabbed your hand only to push it from his face away.

“We’re gonna talk about this later. I need to focus on the race.”

Your heart broke in your chest. Yeah, you thought just for a moment that he would be happy. But it was far from ideal.

———

George was pacing around the hotel room, while you sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with your fingers.

“How could it happen? We were so careful, you on the pill and we were using protection.. how?”

“That time in the summer, when I was sick and taking antibiotics, that night on the yacht, when we weren’t sober..”

“Holy shit…”

“George, look, I know it’s not easy, it’s not perfect timing right now, but we can do it.”

“Are you crazy? We’re twenty. You can’t be serious about this.”

“What? So you want to give it up? Get rid of it?”

George pinched the bridge of his nose, getting frustrated and hopeless.

“I can’t take care of the baby now. I’m gonna drive in F1 next season, it’s a big thing for me and I’m not ready to be a father. I don’t have an energy for the act of loving family.”

That was enough for you to bring you to the tears. Your hand went down at your stomach, sign of protective love for the small bundle growing inside you.

George hasn’t single clue what to do in that moment. He just stared into the wall, his mind blank, feeling like his world just shattered.

“I’m sorry I can’t fit into your image of fairytale life.”

And with that he walked out of the hotel room.

Also it was a very last moment he saw you for a very very long time…

———

“George and babies! What a cute sight!”

“He should be a dad! Baby suits him!”

“Make him a daddy already!”

“Oh, what a father figure!”

You did a great job for those past six years to be away from media and spotlight. After that day you saw George last, you never looked back. Maybe it was selfish. But his opinion on the situation was clear. He didn’t want a baby.

“Mom, I said that I have to pee. Are you listening to me?”

The voice of your son William interrupted your thoughts, while you were scrolling through your instagram for the first time in the past years. Brushing your annoyance by those comments aside, you looked at Will with soft smile.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. I’ll wait here for you, just go to the restrooms there.” You pointed to the direction and Will just rushed there.

When he was about four years old, he came across the idea of karting. You were strictly against it, but after his teacher in the kindergarten was done with his ultimate rant about formula and racing, you just took him to the first lesson and that was a start. Yeah, of course you were scared, not much about George possibly finding out, spotting you, but about Will’s safety. But you cannot expect someone with strong racing genes to be interested in being a scientist.

While you were waiting for your son to come back, you haven’t noticed the buzz around the circuit, signalling the famous person appearing around. You grabbed small helmet and looked at it with soft smile, brushing your thumb over it.

“Mom! You need to see this! Mom! C’mon!”

Will was calling you from the small group of kids, his voice full of excitement and joy. You raised your brows with amused smile, when he was excited about something, he just couldn’t brush it off.

As you took a few steps closer to him, you were curious about what was everybody so ecstatic about.

“That’s George Russell, mom!”

At that name your blood ran cold. Oh no.

“Will, how do you know him?”

“Jeez mom, everybody around knows him! He used to race here as a kid. He’s cool!”

Well, it was inevitable.

Her eyes carefully found George, seeing him interacting with the youngsters. He looked good, more mature and composed. Also his hairstyle was different, giving him a manly touch. Wrinkles around his eyes were still the same, but more apparent, when he smiled. And his eyes.. god, they were the same mesmerising blue colour.

Will left her standing there, getting through the small crowd of kids, to get his signature from him.

“Mr. Russell? George. Can you please sign this? You’re my inspiration.”

His small teeth appearing in grin as he gave George his cap. George’s eyes fell onto him, smiling cheerfully as he signed the cap.

“Just call me George, I’m not much formal person, when it comes to kids. I want to be friendly, because I know how exciting is to meet your idol.”

William’s eyes were glowing with happiness as he held the now signed cap.

“You’re amazing! Thank you.”

George smiled at the boy, watching him running to his mom. It was strange, because he looked familiar. His smile faded as he saw you, looking down at the boy with proud smile.

“Mom! I’m so happy, look!”

Will was excited, nearly jumping on the spot from it.

“I never saw you this happy. Guess it was worth it.” You smiled at him, ruffling his hair.

Without another look at George, you walked to prepare Will for karting session. You thought that he hasn’t noticed you.

George stood afar, watching the kids getting ready, but giving his main attention to you and your son. Will was already giving you hard time with his rolling eyes, sighs and “of course, mom”. While you wore your worried face, furrowing brows there and there, kissing him on his forehead and then fastening his small helmet securely.

When the session started, you moved to the sidelines, watching the circuit with heavy heart and tightness in chest.

“He’s a natural talent, I must say.”

The well known deep voice made you froze in place, your palms sweaty and your throat dry. Carefully, you turned to look at George.

“He is. I can’t keep him calm for a moment straight.”

Trying to hold your voice steady, you looked back at the track. George took a place beside her, doing the same.

“It’s been a long time.”

The ridiculous situation made you chuckle.

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“Yeah, me too.”

The silence between you was thick as hell. Both of you had your own reels of thoughts in your minds.

“I often thought about meeting you again one day. What would I say to you. And I’m saying I’m sorry.”

You lifted your gaze at him, feeling surprised but somehow deeply satisfied.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I was a total jerk back then. I should’ve acted more like an adult, I hurt you.”

The pain of the past years hit you like a train, while you just nodded.

“It’s strange seeing you happy now. You’re a caring mom, from what I saw. I guess the father must be proud too.”

That was the moment you snorted a little, making him confused.

“Look, George… I… I’m sorry too. We were young and it was a little selfish from me to want you to take responsibility.”

“We should’ve talk about it more that day. It’s one of the few things I regret in my life.”

“Well… I’m sorry that I disappeared. But I was so sad, hurt and scared, that I was sure that I need to do things alone. And I did a damn good job.”

George frowned a little, turning his head to look at you.

“William is six years old by the way.”

You said with sigh, locking your eyes with his. At first he didn’t understand. Then, it clicked in his brain. Pointing to track and gasping in shock, his eyes went wide. You just nodded.

Silence was deafening, while George collapsed at the nearby bench, sitting there speechless.

“William? You named him William?”

You took a seat beside him with soft hum.

“Holy fuck. I’m so shocked.”

“I’m sorry. You would find out sooner or later. And now I’ll be a fool. Fooling you, my parents, your parents, but mostly Will. I told him that his father and I broke up before his birth. He didn’t question it.”

George shook violently, running his hands through his hair.

“You kept this for yourself for many years. You kept the baby. Oh my god.. I missed so much. Six years.”

“I loved you and it hurt, I hadn’t had the heart to get an abortion. And I don’t regret that decision.”

He took your hand in his, the distant warmth of his touch seeping into your skin, making you smile.

“I want to be present in his life. I want to get to know him, to give him everything I could. I want to be a father I should’ve been.”

Your smile grew wide, tears glistening in your eyes.

“Sure, but it’ll take time. I need to reveal it to him carefully. I might be on the black list for a while, but he’d be over the moon, that George Russell is his dad.”

George let out a soft laugh, his voice shaky.

“I’ll take any time in the world. I’ll make it worth it. I won’t disappoint him. I won’t disappoint you.”

[allthespoons]

I put together a little mini-timeline of Will and Mack’s schedules and potential points of contact in 2024 (pre-dev camp) for my own reference when writing fic. Sharing it here because it might be helpful for anyone else trying to wrap their minds around when/how they were talking and what they were doing before dev camp.

I sourced things that might be lesser-known, but did not bother sourcing, like, the day of the draft. We all know where to find that and I’m lazy. You can expect to constantly hear and see Sheng Peng throughout this primer, because he has understood his assignment as the Will/Mack beat reporter from WELL before day one.

April 11 - Mack and BU lose to Denver in the semi-finals of the Frozen Four in St. Paul, Minnesota.

April 13 - Will and BC lose to Denver in the finals of the Frozen Four in St. Paul, Minnesota.

April 19 - Media confirms that Mack is expected to join Team Canada in Czechia for Worlds (source).

April/May ? - At some point, both Will and Mack arrive in Czechia to practice with their respective teams.

May 3 - Mack is named to Team Canada’s 22-man Worlds roster (source).

May 5 - Will (and Ryan Leonard) are officially added to the Team USA roster for Worlds (source).

May 7 - USA plays a pre-tournament game at Worlds.

May 7 - It’s announced that Mack was dropped from the Team Canada Worlds roster to make room for NHL players who are newly out of the playoffs (source). Or at least I think he was dropped because that’s how most articles frame it. However, this one says that he was told he was no longer guaranteed a roster spot but was given the chance to stay with the team, but opted to return to the US for the draft lottery, instead (source).

May 7 - Mack lands in New Jersey on a return flight from Czechia (source).

May 7 - Draft lottery is held at the NHL headquarters in NJ. Mack attends it. The Sharks win the 1st overall pick, Will stays up late in Czechia watching to see if he’s going to be teammates with Macklin Celebrini (consensus #1 pick, though not to the degree of being a Clearly Generational Talent like Sid or McDavid).

May 7 - During a post-lottery interview, Mack gets asked if he knows Will. He says, “Not personally, but obviously I played against him for the last couple years.” Then he gets asked about potentially playing with Will and says, “It would be an amazing opportunity to play with a player like that. What he did this year was pretty special. I’ve seen it for a couple years now, so to be able to play with him, that would be a pretty cool opportunity.” (source)

This video also makes it clear that Mack’s family is still at home in California and that this was a last-minute opportunity to attend after he was dropped from Team Canada. Then, he confirms he’s going to go home to prepare for the combine.

May 8 - Mike Grier confirms to media that the Sharks will pick Celebrini - when asked if they were going to pick Celebrini, he said, "I would think so. He played 200 feet. He's 17 but he's got a really solid build on him already and I think he's got a professional attitude and mentality already. I've talked with (coach) Jay Pandolfo at BU, and he said sometimes they have to kick him off the ice.” (source)

May 8 - Mack confirms to media that he’s aware of the Sharks’ interest in picking him, saying, “Obviously San Jose is an amazing organization. It's pretty cool… Obviously I lived there for a little bit growing up, with my dad with the (Golden State) Warriors (as vice president of player health and performance). They're a great organization. If I'm fortunate enough to get drafted there I'd be very lucky.” (source)

May 23 - USA loses to Czechia at Worlds in the quarterfinals, ending their tournament. Will doesn’t particularly impress during his time at the tournament, held pointless and rarely cracking the 8 minutes of ice time a night. This is not unexpected for a rookie playing limited minutes.

May 26 - NHL.com posts an interview with Will, in which he talks about Mack. He says, “We've had some matchups this year. I think four times. We've definitely seen each other. There's a reason he's going to go No. 1. He's a pretty special player. Obviously, we had some pretty good matchups this year.. Whenever you're on the ice with another player like that you have to keep your eye on him. We were on the ice quite a few times, some shifts together. Definitely we were keeping our eye on each other." (source)

May 28 - Will signs his ELC with the Sharks. When asked about potentially playing with Mack, he said, “Obviously it's a huge opportunity for us. Macklin is projected to go first. If and when he gets picked, that will be pretty awesome to help this team take the next step and obviously get back to where the Sharks were." (source)

May 28 - Will makes his first non-spon con Instagram post since the draft lottery. Mack likes the post, the first post of Will’s that he’s liked.

May 28 - Will gives an interview to NBC Sports Bay Area about signing his ELC, sharing that he’d decided to sign before Worlds. Immediately gets asked about Mack and says, “It’d be fun. Got to see him more than a couple times this year. Obviously, like I said, he’s a great player and he’s a BU guy, but obviously if the Sharks pick him, it would be pretty fun.” (source) Our beautiful boy Sheng Peng tries to get him to talk about it being special to potentially play with Mack, who’s his age, and all he says is, “I mean, yeah, obviously, it’s pretty special that we’re going to make the first overall pick.” Okay, cool girl.

He also gets asked about him and Mack being the centerpiece of the rebuild and says, “Obviously, feels pretty good for people to say that. Obviously, it's a huge opportunity for us, obviously Macklin’s projected to go first and if and when he gets picked that will be pretty awesome to, you know, kind of help the team to take the next step.” And then he says, “obviously, it would be pretty cool to play together, I think we’d be pretty cool together to watch” (attentionwhore4attentionwhore).

Also, hilariously, someone comments on the interview video, “he and celebrini probably hate each other lol.” The average male mind simply can’t comprehend the idea of weirdly DM-ing your college rival that you don’t even technically play on the same team as yet and immediately deciding to be soulmates… god bless!

June 5 - Will posts a thank you/goodbye to BC on Instagram. Mack likes it.

June 7-8 - The 2024 NHL Draft Combine is held in Buffalo, New York. Mack attends and ranks 4th overall at the V02 Max test and in the top 25 in two of the other events (source).

June 7 - During media availability at the 2024 NHL Draft Combine, Mack gets asked about Will, saying, “"It wasn't very fun playing against him. He's a special player. I've played against him for the last three or four years, so I've seen a lot of him. He's a great player, super shifty, super smooth. Every time we went up against them, he lit us up, so you know, he's a great player." (source)

HIlariously, he also refuses to say that the Sharks are for sure drafting him and says he’s “trying not to get too ahead of himself,” like he wasn’t heavy-breathing as he stalked Will’s Instagram (source).

June ? - I think this video is from June 7, too, and it’s definitely from the Combine, but YouTube is bad about exact dates. Our Wonderful and Beloved King Sheng Peng opens an interview with Mack by immediately asking him about Will. Mack confirms that they’ve texted back and forth, which I believe is the first time we get confirmation that they’re in contact of some kind, beyond just throwing each other Instagram likes. Yeah, Mack, you’re definitely not getting ahead of yourself at all, buddy. He also talks for a full minute about playing against Will (source).

June 9 - The NHL flies four prospects to Florida to watch Game 2 of the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals, including Mack (and everyone’s best friend/first handjob-giver Zeev Buium) (source).

June 10 - Mack attends morning skate and then Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final in Florida, alongside Zeev, Artyom Levshunov, and Cayden Lindstrom.

June 14 - Mack posts dumb Chipotle spon con on Instagram. Will likes the post, the first post of Mack’s that he’s liked.

June 15 - Will posts a photo dump on Instagram that starts with him and Zeev doing shit for Bauer. Mack likes it.

June 20 - Mack posts a photo dump on Instagram. Will likes it.

June ? - At some point, Mack and his family arrive in Las Vegas for the Draft. Mack goes on the Spittin’ Chiclets podcast and does a bunch of other media, goes to a Las Vegas youth hockey game with some of the other prospects, etc. This shit is all well-documented on YouTube.

June ? - At some point, WIll arrives in Las Vegas for the Draft. We know he attends because someone got a picture with him there (source), but he is not in any way involved with NHL or Sharks media when he’s there, which is weird. Was he flying under the radar on purpose so he could avoid media shit? Idk.

June ? - In a pre-draft interview, Mack confirms again that he and Will have talked a little bit when asked if he knows any guys on the team. After immediately mentioning Will, he says, "we're trying not to get too ahead of ourselves... if that happens, yeah." Okay. What does that mean in that context, exactly, given that you both know that you're 24 hours away from being teammates? You're trying not to propose to each other yet? (source)

June 28 - The 2024 NHL Draft is held at the Sphere in Las Vegas. Mack gets picked #1 overall. I think we’ve all seen the Mack-focused draft content, but there’s also this long video about a lot of the top prospects, ft. Mack freaking out about robots.

June 29 - Mack posts a bunch of draft pictures on Instagram. Will likes it.

June 30 - Sharks announce their full official 2024 dev camp rosters, including Mack and Will (source).

July 2 - Sharks dev camp officially begins San Jose (source). Also, Mack and Will officially begin whining and complaining constantly about never getting to play together, something that likely seemed funny to coaching staff and fans at the time, given that they were perhaps not yet aware that Mack was going to attack the stars with a hammer until they aligned to let him play with his special boy.

Bonus - July 6 - Mack signs his ELC with the Sharks. Fellas, is it gay to attend three days of dev camp, go full “[met “Will Smith hockey” and got so hard i got nauseous]: i think i hauve Covid,” and then allegedly IMMEDIATELY dump your long-term girlfriend and sign your ELC, after claiming you hadn’t made a decision and were seriously considering returning to college? 

Bonus - Will and Mack have liked all of each other’s non-spon con Instagram posts since May 28. Sometimes they even like each other’s spon con (embarrassing). HOWEVER, Will always comments on Mack’s and Mack never seems to comment on Will’s. I don’t think it’s that deep because they’re not that deep, but someone could probably do something with that info!

Officially submitting the following questions for discussion:

WHEN did Mack decide Will was potentially His Guy, after having played against him for years? Do we think it was the Hockey East final? When a guy who looks like Will Smith and plays for your rival college hangs four on you during a total curbstomping… I can see how that might make Mack’s brain start overheating like a car in the Sahara.

WHO initiated the first DM/text contact? My guess is Will because he was playing it too cool when asked about Mack in any pre-draft interviews. Extremely classic behavior of the outward “Yeah I don’t really know don’t think too much about that guy tbh” while simultaneously inwardly trying to fight the urge to find a reason to double text Mack because Mack didn’t respond to his last text (Mack just fell asleep) type. But who knows!

WHEN did they actually meet for the first time? Not, like, see each other at a tournament or a game, but have a conversation? Pre-draft? At the draft? It really couldn’t have been at dev camp, could it have been???

WHAT is wrong with them?

[dreamyyesenia]

The Joy of Life - Love hurts…

Rosemary and Jasper Boyer had been dealing with relationship problems for a couple of years now. After a few weeks of constant arguments, Jasper had decided to move out. He did come over frequently to visit the kids, of course. Jasper was great father, the best actually. That had never been questioned by anyone. But, his and Rosemary‘s relationship was very much what one would consider to be a "toxic" relationship. The attraction between the two was very strong, even after a couple of years living apart. Whenever Japser came over, Rosemary and him would end up in bed. When they were together, everything felt simple, it felt good, it felt right. But once they were finished, Jasper would get up immediately and leave…

Read more ⬇️

Sometimes, Rosemary would protest and try to talk him into staying with them. To talk things out, to establish a connection that went beyond the physical again. A couple of times Jasper stayed but they always ended up in a heated argument and Rosemary couldn't stand being mean and being around mean people (due to her generous and compassionate traits). So, Jasper left and Rosalie was left alone. Again. Finn and Peony always made sure to keep their mother company, trying to cheer her up. Their success in school made Rosemary so immensely proud. She knew her kids were suffering along with her but she also knew that they were strong. Whatever the outcome would be, they would get through this, together.

~

Note:

I‘ve never played with such a relationship dynamic, nor do I have real life experience. So for me, this has been very interesting to observe. The „Family Therapy“ mod by adeepindigo was perfection for this. I’m actually playing without RPO rn (keeping mods limited) and I‘m able to tell the story through gameplay which is what I wanted. I love me some HEA but Idk I love to make my MC‘s work for it 🤣 and not everything has to be fairytale like always right?

[otp-armada]

It’s totally fanfiction-y of me, but I have fantasized about someone reaching out to Bellamy after Clarke injected herself with nightblood, and it sending him into such a spiral that he speeds his way to Becca’s mansion. He finds her recuperating and explodes with worry and anger, demanding to know why she’s always stubbornly risking her life.

To rein in his feelings from a (supposedly) aborted love confession to blowing the lid clean off the compartment tamping them down, because he just can’t risk losing her, and the heat of the moment being what finally gets them both to confess?? And that leading to a nail-biter finale where Bellamy chooses not to listen to Clarke, staying with her instead???

Ohhh I think it’d have ATE. Maybe I just wanted the writers to make excellent use out of that gorgeous shower and bed 🤭

I don’t think it’s outside the realm of reason if the botched tent scene had similar circumstance. Clarke was gearing herself up to head into the lion’s den less than a day after he saved her from Josephine on a gambit that she could impersonate the latter to her parents, and if she failed, she’d be as good as dead. I can imagine the exhaustion on his wearied soul.

I think seasons 5 and 6 have such a tremendous effect on Bellamy, as his head is continuously clashing with his heart. Clarke vs Echo. Big brother vs his independence. Responsible leadership vs tearing himself apart to make his fragmented family happy and unified.

Something I take from his storyline in Season 6 is how it balances his head and heart in harmony. He’s offered an opportunity to ensure the survival of his people in hostile land with all the amenities they require, and all it would take is to do nothing as Josephine plots to delete Clarke’s code from the chip.

There’s an ethical question posed by the narrative about whether Earthkru deserves to survive if they’re willing to begin again on the blood of their own, particularly as they are refugees who fled Earth because their machinations wrecked the planet a second time.

But there’s a personal dilemma for Bellamy, too. If this is a game of numbers, one can argue that protecting the lives of the many outweigh the life of one.

Except it’s not a dilemma at all for him. Clarke’s alive, he’s getting her back, it’s a done deal. He must know that Clarke would be the first to martyr herself. He’s witnessed it firsthand, her penchant for sacrificing herself for others. I love that he draws the line by saying no. Screw rationalizing. He’s not losing Clarke any more than he’s willing to let Clarke voluntarily offer her life.

To me, this decision is the coda to 5x13 wherein Bellamy invokes Monty’s spirit and honors his wishes. Because Monty understood that survival is a hollow endeavor if you lose everything that gives life its worth.

Heart!Bellamy works in tandem with Head!Bellamy, as he makes his plans to get everyone out of Sanctum and leverage the chip to get their compound. Sure, his best laid plans all go to hell immediately, but the important thing is, he tried his best, y’know?

Ohhh the radio calls. The radio calls.

The radio calls are 2,199 testimonials that Clarke made Bellamy a consistent part of her daily life when he was a world removed from her. “They kept me sane,” when giving up was probably more conducive to preserving her sanity. She persisted in sharing her life with him as she could, undeterred by his physical absence. She expected nothing from those calls, not even an answer. It was simply vital she stay connected to him, immaterial that it was futile.

We only get hints of how difficult those six years were for Clarke after she found Madi. But if we try to fill the gaps…

Clarke and Madi are alone on a planet recovering from a global cataclysm. A calamity affecting the environment, the ecosystems, plant life, wildlife, severely limited resources, food shortages, etc. Infinite issues to be navigated by two people with finite compendiums of knowledge to navigate this bizarre new world.

Clarke is solely responsible for raising a little orphaned girl, previously sheltered from her village by her late parents. Madi lived amongst the bodies of her village for months at 6 years old. Her traumas are for Clarke to manage, a girl barely an adult herself with three lifetimes’ worth of her own ghosts to contend with. Because Clarke is the adult in this duo, there’s only so much she can share with Madi. Only so much emotional heft she can burden Madi with. And I can imagine that after the euphoria of finding another person to keep her company settles, Clarke realizes that she, Wanheda, conditioned by her life’s experiences to see herself as a bringer of death, is tasked with keeping this child alive.

It’s a lot for one person to deal with. I would bet that for every challenge and danger and haunted day in general, she picked up that radio to confess all to Bellamy. Asking for his guidance, his strength…

We could see that Clarke and Madi had good days, too. Fireside chats. Fishing. Portraits. Bedtime stories of heroes and villains. Winter frost giving way to spring berries. Bickering. Calm days filled with joyful laughter.

And I bet she told Bellamy all about those moments, too. Via the radio calls, she included him as the third member of their little family.

Clarke survived because she leaned on two people—-Madi AND Bellamy. And it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that when he asked her how she managed alone.

it's still so fascinating to me that bellarke was supposed to happen in 6x10/6x11, bob was informed of this, but then he received the script and it didn't happen. that's just so sketch. truly what was going on behind the scenes. it's just so WEIRD the more you think about it. also makes me wonder if that was the first time that had happened. i mean, we already know that there were changes to the 1x08 script to get rid of the line where bellamy asks clarke to run away with him, so i don't think it's that far outside the realm of possibility to think that there were other romantic lines/scenes that were cut throughout the series. i honestly think every season they probably toyed with the idea of them happening, wrote a first kiss or a confession or maybe an almost kiss, decided against it and thought hey actually let's push this to next season, drag it out a little longer.

[sdv-confessions]

Sending an ask with regards to the anon that said Sam/ Penny didn't make sense to them.

Not a shipper myself but I do know one of the main reasons is opposites attract but another, and a personally, more compelling reasons is that on the surface they seem like opposites but their more alike than they appear. And oh boy am I gonna go off about them.

Again not a shipper but I do like it when fics and general creatives explore how Sam, despite not initially appearing as such, is burdened with the responsibility of growing up a bit too fast because of the absence of a parent. Obviously this is about Kent and how he never really raised Vincent and even when he was there, he wasn't fully there or Vincent was too young to remember. Not Kent's fault obviously but it still left a noticeable absence in a male guiding figure that Vincent needed after being comfortable with one. And Sam, initially would try and prop his dad up, making him out to be a good father who was serving the country. He's out there kicking Gotoro butt. But as the years passed by of Kent not coming home, gradually Sam became more responsible for Vincent in the prior role. He probably taught him how to ride a bike, or tie his shoelaces and other activities and skills traditionally taught by a father.

Fics tend to explore this more reserved side of Sam that a general chunk of the fandom isn't aware of. Cause the cutscene that presents this more complex side of Sam is one of the only truly missable cutscenes of the entire game (the year 1 beach scene with the perfect circumstances). So general concensus is that Sam is an aloof skateboarder who kinda takes his job seriously and has his head in the clouds dreaming of becoming a popular musician. That's what's presented with most cutscenes and dialogue of Sam.

Penny, however, contrasts this image completely with honestly more grounded cutscenes. You can tell she's a hopeful person trying to make the best of the hand she's been dealt. And everybody knows she was forced to be the adult when Pam spiraled into alcoholism and negligence. And Penny herself admits she does the cooking, she does the cleaning. She takes care of the family by herself. And she's been doing this, presumably, since she was a child.

Penny's circumstances and character (doting and anxious but hopeful) make her maturity levels leagues above Sam's. But that's an assumption based on Sam being the loopy golden retriever stereotype (but he is a good boy, one of the best). And when you base their relationship purely on that, it is opposites attract.

But then that would be focusing on the surface and to get to the true meat and potatoes of the ship, you gotta dig deeper.

With Sam, once you include both the fact he was Vincent’s important male figure/ role model AND the fact that he's a silly goofy guy as previously mentioned, the ship gets so much more interesting. You also have to include the fact that Penny isn't all doom and gloom. She knows how to have fun and can be relaxed. Examples of this would be the picnic, the recipe testing and especially her 10 Heart event cause that shows she can be a bit adventurous.

And they both share a similarity in how they utilise their passions and hobbies as an escape from their circumstances. Penny primarily reads for the sake of escapism. Sam plays the guitar and writes his own lyrics, most likely to express his frustrations (I admit this is a bit of a stretch. I'm spitballing here). And both have an oddly nurturing nature to them. When married Sam is a children's edutainment performer, a job he's extremely proud of, therefore showing he has said caring nature and love for children. Penny is the town's sole educator for Jas and Vincent and has admitted their resources are limited with regards to educating the two. And yet she takes them out for educational field trips, that are most likely unnecessary but she's aware that even if they are, they're fulfilling experiences for the children. They both have a passion for caring for children, going the extra mile for them (I especially commend Sam, as I do have experience with being a musical children's edutainment performer and to genuinely go through with it takes serious mental fortutude unironically).

In most SamPenny content and to my understanding, the ship thrives in how they contrast yet compliment each other well. Sam can relate to Penny's struggle of being forced to grow up too fast, having to fill in for somebody who should be but isn't there (I still love Kent, this is more for Penny's dad and Pam specifically). And in some depictions, he comforts her on it. And in Canon, he would do exactly this as seen with Year 1 Beach Scene (that beach scene is the glue for this entire argument). And Penny could educate on new topics as Sam is a curious person in general.

And another opposites attract element that I really like about them that I rarely see being explored is how their weather dialogue reflects this so well. When it rains, Penny's dialogue is gloomy and distant. She doesn't like the rain, seeing it as unpleasant and an environmental reminder of her home life and how washed out and depressing it is. Meanwhile, directly opposite her trailer, Sam is happy as can be because he gets to play his guitar as loud as he wants. A genuinely optimistic view of the weather. A good contrast with Penny's more depressive perspective. And this does apply vice versa.

To me, their relationship can be summarised as this: Sam is the sliver of sunshine on a cloudy day and Penny is gentle breeze to cool one on a blistering summer day. Penny acts as the unexpected calm to Sam's chaotic storm whilst Sam shows Penny the beauty and positivity in even the most seemingly negative of scenarios. When there's excess of one, the other balances it out. They comfort each other in their pain, they lift each other up when down. They can choose to indulge the other's interest for the sake of feeling fulfilled by their partner's apparent excitement when discussing their passion etc.

In conclusion to this silly little rant for a ship that isn't even in my top 20 Stardew ships, nevermind otp: he was a skater boy, she was a scholarly girl, could I make it more obvious?

.

[artsypatience]

I just got the hugest RotE feels today. God damn it's been 4years since I've read Assassin's Fate, and I only started Assassin's Apprentice some days ago. But thinking about it all, honestly it's so hard. And sad. These books are so fucked up I feel remorse each time I reccommend them to a friend. Thank you ms Hobb, but why, whyy.

I will never stop thinking about Fitz, Beloved, Nettle, Bee, Dutiful, Patience and all the others :(.

Huge RotE rant + spoilers below:

It just makes me feel so sad each time I think about it, besides it being a fictionnal story, it rings so true and deep in my heart.

Fitz never got to die in his bed in Whittywoods next to Molly, he never got to raise Nettle like he wanted to, never got to become an adult at Patience's side, never grew a lot himself and stayed his old scarred and scared self even through some improvements, never got to grow up and old with Beloved, never got to say a proper goodbye to Nighteyes, never got to have the long conversations he should have had with Beloved, never got to raise Dutiful as his own, and the worst is that he never got to finish his days peacefully by Bee's side.

Also the fact that Beloved is so important to him, yet in the whole span of his 60+years life, he barely spent 6 with him. And how Patience mourned him for years when he was still alive, but depressed and empty. How Burrich thought he died to bandits for years after their ugly fight, and then just after being reunited with him, died for him and his son. Ugh. How after having his happy ever after, which actually was just an ever after, with Molly, he still didn't grow a good enough relationship with her to trust her wholly, and how he still was bitter and locked himself up in his office, wondering about Beloved and Nighteyes. How after all these years he still believed he didn't belong even with his own family. How he thought Bee was dead and went on an hateful and twisted path, damaging both him and his relationship with Beloved.

But then, even though all these bitter things it's still beautiful, worth it, because these books got to capture life's essence like a very very few other did. You never get what you want, especially if you don't admit it to yourself, and when you do achieve a dream or a huge thing, it's a sacrifice of other things that would have made you happy, but you are there and you have to carry on, and carve your own happiness with the bare flesh of your hands.

Patience desperatly tried to teach him instruments and he couldn't, and made a drawing of the cub she gifted him, as an excuse and present for her. Kettricken made the gardens beautiful again so she wouldn't be lonely. The Fool carved toys for children, made them happy, Amber carved jewels and wood and made it a life earning. She made friends with Paragon, and with a crow. Which was healed by Fitz, like many other animals, like a wolf he rescued, and all the hurting things he could care for on his path. Fitz raised a boy, supported him, fed chickens. Wrote a lot of books, a lot of letters. He helped Bee have access to her artistic abilities, protected her the best he could even if it was never enough. Did the same with Beloved, and all of the people he cared, it was never enough but the best he could have done and he himself was always enough

My man was DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE

:(

And what comfort can we get from all this ? Bee still has a family. Fitz and Beloved are finally whole and without limits. Molly died being loved, with a little girl she loved in her very own garden. Patience died moved to see Chivalry. Dutiful has a family he can count on. Nettle has a good man (and the best one I might say) by her side. But somehow it doesn't erase the sadness and bitterness of the journey. And tbh when she releases her next book I know it will mess me up all over again agh. Bee is my favorite, this is going to hurt a lottt.

Ugh why am I crying again. And don't get me started on Beloved's side of this story, or I will violently sob on my carpet. Fitz's is bittersweet but his is just plain sad.

"What were we ?"

it's ok i'm just gonna jump off a cliff in an instant

[dreams-of-me]

All Aflame

Reiner x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Minors DNI, NSFW, Military!Reiner, Engagement, deep penetration, vaginal penetration, creampie, AFAB Reader, Angst.

This will probably be part 1 of two in this series because i have to write him coming back from war and the news you have to share with him. Its super long but it felt so good to write again. please enjoy and more to cum!

It's been 3 years since his discharge. He’s Reiner but he's different. Like he's in a dream, i can't put my finger on it specifically but it feels like he's.. Lit up. In a negative way. Like smoke inhalation. Like he's burning, and I don't know how to fix it. I'm scared I'm losing him and I fear that he won't be able to handle the news I have to share with him. 

When we met, I was 18 and fresh out of Basic training. He was 20 out of basic but we were different. He knew college wasn't for him and he knew that he loved his country enough to serve during a war. He was alive then, quiet, stern, but once he was out of his shell he was a whole new person. Still steady and reliable and strong but funny and free. Although still holding himself back for some reason. Nonetheless, I fell in love with him. It was so filling and consuming much like a flame. He was what I needed, the solid ground to my sky. Because I knew where I came from, he was here by choice and I was here because I had no other place to go. It was the army or sell myself and I knew that was the ultimate and final choice. Throughout basic he helped me and taught me and I cared for him, even in the barracks it was limited access that I yearned for almost every day and when we graduated and no one came to tap me out, he did. His family came for him and he came for me. I embraced him for what felt like forever and at the end of the embrace he got down on one knee with the stone he clutched while running to me. 

“Marry Me.”

“Reiner… yes.”

In that instant everything faded and we were in bliss. He was almost completely free. Before we got stationed we got a place together and lived like newly weds even though we hadn't even started planning the glamorous and fabulous wedding his parents, more specifically his mother, wanted. We were content in our little bubble. We were happy. 

He was leaning on the wall by the kitchen with his arms crossed. Light grey sweatpants with his calvin klein underwear showing slightly at the top. No shirt, his chest and abs completely exposed. His hair was a mess and the stubble from his beard was finally beginning to grow in a subtle way that makes you want to rub your face against it. He watched me for a while before speaking. 

“What am i going to do with you”

“Reiner please, all did was make dinner”

“Yes, but youre supposed to be in bed with me. What is a world where I wake up and I don't find you next to me.”

“Hahaha honey please, just come eat.”

“I’ll do it but not because you told me to.”

He sat at the table that his body made look small in the corner of the living room. Laid back with his arms loosely crossed watching me as it set everything out for him. 

“I gotta put a baby in you if you keep feeding me like this.”

“Oh boy this again. Just eat.”

The food was still steaming, a white rice that seemed to glow under the light above the table, a cucumber salad, teriyaki chicken, and beef strips. He ate a ton but it all went to his frame and thank god for it. I’m tall for a woman, but he still towers over me in a way that makes me feel small. He envelopes me in his warmth in the best way. I looked up at him eating slowly but gleefully and smiled. We engaged in small talk over the food. 

“You know, they're never going to deploy us to the same place.” “Even if that's true, it won't mean anything.”

“Reiner are you sure because if we’re deployed and we get back and have to break-”

“That wouldn't even happen in your dreams.” “I'm just saying, people change.” “In the year and 6 months that you’ve known me have I changed?”

“No.. but that not a comparable amount of time” “You're right it's less.” He put his fork down and held my hand, caressing the ring he placed there. “You're mine, and I'm yours, and it will be that way even in 50 years. No amount of time, distance, or trauma will change my love for you. Okay?”

“Alright.”

“Good.”

“So how’s your mom” “I wont answer that because i know you don't really care”

“Hehe, I'm glad you know me so well.”

We were happiest in each other's presence, we hadn't left the apartment in days knowing that next week we would be apart for months. Sleep, eating, showering, all of it and more, always together, inseparable. 

He washed over me like sunlight and I accepted every ray. We layed in bed again and he layed on my stomach grasping me as if I was trying to leave. Entangled in each other, I caressed his hair with another hand drawing circles along his bicep that held me down. 

“Ya know, when we leave next we-”

“Please stop, stop bringing it up just… just lay here with me a little longer.” 

“If we can't ignore it forever, it's going to happen.” 

“I know, but I don't want to think about it right now.” 

“If not now then when”

“After you finish for me… the third time.”

“What?”

He was finding his way to my core. Kissing me sucking on my thighs. Making me exhale shakily when he started to pull my shorts off. 

“Ri.. you're stalling.”

“One of many things you know I'm good at.”

“Ah- a well trained soldier indeed.”

He closed his lips around my clit, suckling and licking all over shooting waves of pleasure all through me. It was his way of taking control for once. Letting him do all the work was the only thing he asked for when we made love. 

He left my core a soaking wet mess as he trailed more kisses up my body, slowly lifting my extremely large t-shirt that is actually his, up and exposing my chest. He closed on the opportunity to suck on my nipples just as gleefully as he did my more. 

“Mmm Ri, if you're going to rile me up at least give me what the first time around.”

“You're so right, round one always goes to you just like in basic.”

He slid back down, beginning to ravish me just how I liked it. Sucking on my puffy red clit and drawing circles with his thumb when he isn't using his mouth. He was large enough to sit on his knees and lift my lower half to his face. Finishing his meal, he let me cry out his name a few times before using two fingers from his free hand to curl into me while his mouth did the rest of the work. I convulsed into his mouth gasping as I came all over his face. His stubble looked so good when it was wet. 

“My turn,” He said in a low voice.

He set me down, kissed my tummy and flipped me over. He was slow and decisive with his movements. Using his hands to feel all over my body, taking the time to slap by ass with a force that made me moan. He pulled me up so that I was on all fours. He spread me, taking the view in of my soaked sex and although i couldn't see him i just knew that he was biting his lip. It made me want him even more. He moved to his sweatpants and underwear. Letting them get below his mid thigh, almost to his knee. He pushed the tip in letting himself take in the heat and slick that he created. 

“How do you want it baby?”

“However will make you miss me the most when we're done.”

“Jesus.”

He pushed into me slowly making me moan his name. He stayed there for a moment. His hands caressing my body and finding my hips. I still hadn't known what he chose. What would make me miss the most? Then he tightened his grip on my hips and stroked nicely and slowly. The feeling made me gasp as he passed the best spots inside me. 

“Oh god Ri.”

“I gave you the option to choose didn't I?”

He was slow but precise in his movements. Making sure he hit my favorite spots every time he stoked but still slow enough to keep me wanting more every time he pulled back. I loved the way he filled me up so slowly that I could feel my insides stretching around him. He sped up a little and I knew he was close. But he maintains the diligent strokes he started with. 

“Fuck.”

“Ri, I need ah- I need more.”

He grunted a response and let a hand fall from my right hip to my clit once again. He maintained his speed and rubbed me slowly but I was already so close to cumming around him. I arched my back and pushed back. 

“Give it all to me baby.”

He thrusted hard and slow and rubbed me quickly. I was creaming all over him and filling me up. He pulled out slowly making me shudder as I collapsed face first into the bed. I was catching my breath when I felt him standing over me. 

“One more.”

“Huh.”

He picked me up, hooking my knees with his arms and letting my still wet core rub against his abs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shuddered again. 

He looked at me, eyes low. He licked his lips, signaling for me to kiss him. And I did. Entrapped his lips in mine as he walked towards the closet knowing there would be mirrors for both of us to watch everything going on. I was still kissing him when lifted me up slightly, gliding me onto his dick. I threw my head back in pleasure and moaned.

“Ahh yess Ri.”

“Talk to me baby.”

He let that be his cue to use me as a fleshlight. Pounding in and out of me one moment and stroking slowly into me the next. He gripped the hell out of my ass and I was sure it would leave a mark in the morning. But the feeling of him being so deep in me was making my mind fog. He wanted me to talk to him but I was fighting just to keep my eyes open and breathe. I let all my weight fall on him as I whispered in his ear. 

“All yours, always.”

He grunted again and I felt his dick twitch inside me. He pushed me all the way down his cock. Making me groan and bend under the feeling of being so full. He leaned against a dresser behind him. His legs were giving out. I accommodated this using the little strength I had left to put my feet atop the dresser and lift myself off of him with his help. He picked me up and slammed me on him time and time again. 

“I could never get enough of you even in 40 years im gonna be fucking you til you need a new cane.”

“Ugh way to ruin the mood. Why even mention old wrinkly sex Reiner?”

“You know I'm not good with words. But how is the mood ruined when you're still gripping me so well?”

He went back to using me, making sure I couldn't do anything to stop him even if I wanted to. 

He was slamming me on his cock and I couldn't hold my cries back every time he did. It hurt so good. He put his head in my neck, breathing hard and closing his eyes. That's how I knew he was close. He always latched onto me in some way. I was close too, I felt my legs shaking and my insides quivering. The next moment I was cuming on him again and he was filling me up. I held onto him tightly feeling his load drip out of me and onto his thighs. But I still felt so full. I let my weight fall on him, completely exhausted. He lifted me off of him but still carried me. We went into the bathroom and washed off. We almost fell asleep in the tub. The hot water was bliss although he always complains that I have it too hot. He got up first. Grabbing the towel and wrapping it around his waist. Then he helped me up out of the tub. Passed me the towel and drained the water. We walked into the kitchen to grab water before getting dressed and getting back in bed. I hadn't noticed before but he let me soak in the tub for a little longer and changed the sheets of our bed. They were fresh and clean and comfortable. We laid there for a while, breathing in each other's air before falling asleep. 

The next few days were about the same. Except for Friday, Deployment Announcement Party. We invited all of our military friends to our apartment, pizza, drinks and music. We used the time to catch up and at 10 PM we would all check our emails and go around saying our deployment locations. As per usual Connie and Jean were the first ones drunk. Bertholdt, Reiner’s childhood friend, was definitely tipsy because he looked a little less nervous than usual and more talkative. Reiner didn't seem to pay attention to any of it because I was sitting on his lap and feeling so good. Sasha was in the kitchen eating damn near everything and Mikasa was picking at her plate but still being protective of it around Sasha. Eren and Armin were fighting over aux, and on round 4 out of 10 of rock paper scissors. It was a fun party, I could always expect a good time with these people around me. 

All of a sudden time flew and it was 10 PM. It was time to see where our group would divide and conquer. First up Armin. “Texas, oh lord I hate the heat.” We all laughed recalling the way Armin’s entire uniform would change colors under his sweat.

Eren. “Germany, man what. That language is so difficult for no reason.”

Mikasa. “South Korea… Well at least the night life is fun.”

Connie. “Germanyyyy, Jaeger you can pray all you want but you can never get rid of meeee.” We all laughed as he jumped into Eren’s arms and even louder when Eren dropped him on his ass.

Jean. “Iran.” The mood soured. Iran has been an active Warzone for as long as we could remember. Hundreds of lives lost throughout the years. We all gathered around Jean and gave him encouraging words. He smiled sweetly, walking to the kitchen to pour himself another shot. 

Sasha. “Virginia, man I thought I'd at least get to leave the country.” 

My turn. I stood up and took a breath, everyone was watching me as I pulled out my phone and opened up my email. “Hawai’i. Wow, that's actually perfect hahaha.” Relief flooded the room as everyone congratulated me. Reiner came up to me and planted a kiss on my lips that made Connie whistle and Eren yell “GET A ROOM”.

I sat down in Reiner’s spot as he pulled out his phone. 

“Hungary.” He looked up at me as my jaw hit the floor. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Hungary was basically military for Ukraine. We knew deployment there meant we would be in an active war zone and that being said he would be in more danger and doing 10 times as much work as Jean. He came to me and hugged me tightly. He sat down in his spot again and let me bury my face in his chest. The room was silent for a minute, then Connie yelled we’ve got one more. 

“Yea i’m going i know.” Bertholdt stood up. “Hungary, man fate is so funny it wont let me leave this guy's side.” We all giggled. We all drank some more and finished the pizza and snacks before everyone started heading out. Reiner and I let the music play as we cleaned up. He could tell I was still sad and afraid but content with the fact that he won't be alone. We went to bed knowing that even though we would be across the world from each other, we won't be alone. He curled up to me and fell asleep instantly as I let my mind wander before I fell asleep as well.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

the gang (seperate) HC with a reader who spends a lot of their time drunk or high? Like sort of a reader who is addicted to alcohol and all that mess.

Summary: The Gang x addicted!reader

Warnings: mentions of substance abuse ig?

Author's Note: you guys are seeing my pinterest board change in real time lol.

PONYBOY CURTIS is not a very protective person. He has no issues when it comes to alcohol and drugs and that sort because of how glamorized it is in the greaser life. He just finds it concerning on how much you use. He's always keeping an eye out for you, making sure you take care of your health, and telling you when to lay off for a little while. Don't get me wrong, he's all laughs when you're intoxicated around him, but he's making sure you're not pushing it. JOHNNY CADE is a little more knowledgeable about substance abuse. He has a lot of built up trauma because of his family, but as long as you don't get loud and aggressive when drunk he's ok with being around you. He knows it's not all that healthy, but nothing about the greaser life is, so he indulges himself once and a while when he's with you. He's always there to walk you home after a crazy night out, and he finds peace in just listening to you ramble while wasted. SODAPOP CURTIS likes to get drunk enough to just barely keep his head above water, he thinks the minor loss of control is sometimes exhilirating. Which is why he's alright with what you do as long as it doesn't get out of hand. He'll go get drunk with you sometimes when he has the next day off of work, but he doesn't get a lot of time so its rather rare. He makes sure that your usage never gets out of hand, reminding you when to take T-Breaks and such. STEVE RANDLE is just like you in a sense. He loves to pick you up after work and get wasted. He's more of a wild child in that sense. However, he knows his limits and when to drag you back into bed when you want to go out. Pre-gaming with Steve is so funny, he's already tripping over his shoes and you're complaining about not being drunk enough. He's a 'where the wind takes me' kind of guy and you guys always find a way to drunkenly get into trouble. TWO BIT MATHEWS is also like you, but he keeps it to a minimum. He doesn't mind if you're wasted around him or the gang, but he's very particular about his family, and he wants you to be clean sober when meeting with them. In a way this its rather endearing how much he cares for his family. Saturday nights are the nights you guys hop from bar to party, and from party to another bar. He never leaves you side those nights, no matter how intoxicated he is.

DARRY CURTIS is a little more harsh on the idea of getting drunk and high. If he met you sober and liked you he'd be more open to pursuing a relationship. But it would be hard for him to start a relationship with someone who he sees as only ever intoxicated. Over time though, if you introduce him to your habits he relaxes and even tries a blunt you rolled, although he coughed all the smoke he inhaled out. DALLAS WINSTON is totally open to dating you. As long as you can party hard and look good while doing it, he'll date you.When you're out he's always a little bit more sober than you are, just in case something happens to his girl. The relationship is more quality time together while under the influence than anything else and he really likes it. He's never been with someone like that and he's finally happy he can be with someone that rivals him.

[webanglikethat]

Dear humanity,

Please Help Me – My Son May Die at Any Moment.

I'm yousef from Gaza. 🍉

Here’s my story, and I’m reaching out with a hopeful heart 💔✨, hoping someone will feel what my family and I are going through.

My son is suffering from a severe respiratory and a chest crisis, now he is in intensive care because he can't breathe 😔, He needs urgent treatment, it cost 2000€ per week.

I appeal you to help my son Donate, Reblog My pinned post and follow me, my old account has been deleted 😭

Thanks 🙏

Hi!🙏

Even though I’m not in a position to donate at the moment, I’m here to amplify your voice. I truly hope that your story finds those who can offer meaningful support, whether through donations, sharing, or words of encouragement.

To everyone reading this: now is the time for collective compassion. Every small act of kindness matters, whether it’s a donation, a share, or simply a moment of empathy for what this family is going through. If you’re able to, please consider contributing or passing this message along. Together, even the smallest efforts can create waves of change for someone in need!

To you and your family, I want to extend my deepest hope for brighter days ahead. I hope you find solace in knowing that people are rallying behind you, that your bravery inspires others to step forward and help. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I’m wishing you peace, safety, and the strength to face what lies ahead with the same courage you’ve already shown. Opening a place to help others, even with limited resources, is such a selfless thing to do.

Sending all my love, strength, and compassion to you during this time. May your path ahead be filled with light, kindness, and the help you need to overcome these challenges.

Here’s the link again for anyone willing to assist:

[aedesluminis]

I'm browsing through all the primary and secondary sources on the drama between Carnot and his first gf's family in order to finally make the post I've been planning for so long, but, oh boy, it's hard. Not only because these sources differ a lot one from another, but some of them are annoying to say the least.

Like this one here by Alfred Bégis:

The admirers of the Revolutionary Bloc have always presented their great men to us as the personification of all virtues and as impeccable; [men] distinguishing themselves for their probity, finesse, generosity and selflessness. Indubitably, it is so to show us models to imitate; but unfortunately there were some unpleasant stains on these models stains that was not possible to make disappear. What is left is to write a work, which will be very curious, on the virtues of the great men of the Révolution, of these men, who showed themselves so strict against the customs of Princes and Nobles and also very cruel towards everyone who did not share their revolutionary opinion.

I don't know what's more triggering: the fact that this is the introduction of a work aiming to show how of a monster Carnot was for having tarnished the virtue and honour of an underage girl (she was 28 years old), thus repeating old lies that her family started spreading in 1789; or the idea that a single incident - in Carnot's case it was a plain and simple injustice he endured because of the arbitrary judicial system of the Ancien Régime - is somehow able to completely erase all the other deeds that one has made throughout their life.

It's true that Carnot was exaggeratedly positively described, especially in works and pseudo-biographies from the 19th century. I won't deny it, it would be stupid to do so and allow me to say how obnoxious and ridiculous I find the way he gets praised in those works; but is Bégis really trying to belittle his revolutionary career through this specific unfortunate anecdote of his life? An anecdote that his limited reactionary mind couldn't even be bother to proper research and tell in the correct way?

Reactionaries never cease to amaze me.