#There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like.
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So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.
& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.
& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.
Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.
#I don't Believe many things#because I prefer to stay open to new perspectives#& think that a balanced approach to life involves embracing a certain level of ambiguity in reality#but the things I do Believe in?#Oh I Believe them with all my heart.#I don't know how my belief system will change in the future#But I do know that above all else I believe in Kindness#Kindness to yourself Kindness to everyone around you Kindness to nature#The point of society is to ensure Everyone is treated well & can enjoy existence as much as possible#The point is Joy. The method is Kindness.#& if you aren't fighting for Everyone to be taken care of & respected & treated with Kindness#then I am not interested in your revolution.#If you hate the people against you more than you love the people you're fighting for?#You're missing the goddamn point.#(Please note I'm speaking of Kindness as a separate concept from Niceness.)#(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.)#(But I feel like a lot of people mistake that concept for an excuse to deny those they disagree with Kindness.)#(& my dudes you don't actually have principles if they only apply to people you like & agree with.)#There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like.#While I am not free right now due to my various axes of oppression & the oppression others face#I'm also not gonna be free if we straight up murder & imprison the current oppressors#Trading one oppressive system for another isn't actually all that radical???#Just 'cause you think 'the right people' are being oppressed doesn't make oppressing them okay?#Like I'm a leftist because I believe Literally Everyone should be allowed to live whatever fulfilling life they want#so long they as aren't doing a damage to someone else in order to do so.#Not because I think I think the wrong people are oppressed.#Hm now that I've written this fucking essay on ethics in my tags#I am seeing Bestie & Birdfriend's points...#Birdfriend legit said that I'm the '**smacks others while screaming** BE! KIND! TO! EACH! OTHER!' type of Paladin.#I guess they were right.
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SOME* OF YA'LL ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR DESIRES, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES
*WARNING: TOUGH LOVE RANT. also, like everything in life, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not doing anything i mention in this post, then this post doesn't apply to you.
before anyone comes for me, MOST of us are going through (or have gone through) hard circumstances. many of us have come from abusive households, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, & just overall bad circumstances.
but you know why the bloggers & anons who succeed in manifesting their desires/desired lives ACTUALLY SUCCEED?
because they took accountability for their current state and their limiting patterns.
because they were disciplined & determined enough to claim their desire(s), apply the law, & persist regardless of EVERYTHING.
because they knew that this practice would actually change their lives forever and allowed NOTHING to stand in their way.
AND GUESS WHAT? NOW THEY HAVE THEIR DESIRES/DESIRED LIFE!
if you were to be 100% honest and tell me why after months/years of being in this community you STILL haven't manifested your desires/desired life yet, what would be the answer?
overconsumption? procrastination? laziness? lack of persistence?
whatever the case may be, what i do know for a FACT is that it has been no one's fault but YOURS.
many of you guys come running on this platform; asking the same repetitive questions, complaining about not seeing results, whining about how sad your life is and how hard your circumstances are, or just straight up hating on some of these bloggers that are helping you FOR FREE, when they could be using that time to enjoy their desires/the life that they manifested for themselves.
LIKE...DO YOU REALIZE HOW PATHETIC & ENTITLED SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE?
"can you pleaseee manifest/tap into the void for me?" 🥺
"im so lazyyy, i can't be bothered to persist..." 🥱
"loa is FAKE! you guys are a bunch of lying b***hes..." 🤬
"my life is sooo hard, i have such a horrible life...*continues to trauma dump*" 😭
OHHH MYYY F*CKINGGG GODDD!
there are MILLIONS of people in the world who are in unfavorable/horrible circumstances that have NO IDEA what the law of assumption is, and have NO WAY to access this type of information!
you guys literally have the knowledge and awareness to make the most beautiful life possible for yourselves with JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, and yet, A LOT of you guys are the most ungrateful, lazy, irresolute, undisciplined whiners, who don't want to do even the BARE MINIMUM to change your entire lives!!
TRUST ME, everyone on this platform (including myself) understands that there will be setbacks. we all know that they are going to be bad days. we all understand that everyone has their own personal/mental issues. we get that life has obstacles and that not every day will be a win.
BUT, you guys NEED to put in the effort & not give up! you guys NEED to STOP letting your ego win! you guys NEED to get tf off of social media and stop overconsuming information. you guys NEED to claim your desires/desired life, stay consistent & persist until your desires/desired life has materialized.
because guess what, a day turns into a year pretty quickly, and you'll have gone another year of NOT having your desires/desired life, and it's going to be no one's fault but yourself...
do you REALLY want another year of watching everyone else get what they want besides you? do you REALLY want another year of not having your desired appearance, your sp, or financial freedom?
REALLY?
i hope the answer is no...because that's a HUGE waste of time that could be used to actually have the things & life you want.
everyone deserves to live the life they want...but at the end of the day, no one & nothing has the power to manifest the life you want but YOU.
#law of assumption#loa#manifest#manifesting#manifesation#spirituality#self concept#neville goddard#success story#void state#void success#void success story
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An important definition of terms:
As far as I'm concerned, an assimilationist is someone who believes that queer people must assimilate in order to advance the cause of queer rights. An assimilationist creates a dress code for marches like the Mattachine Society did, fights against queer self-expression at Pride because "it holds back the movement," and believes that the only way for us to move forward is for all queers to live as cishet people do, but with little rainbow flags taped on.
An assimilationist is not "someone who wants the functions and institutions of cishet society to be available to queer people." It's someone who believes the only way to live is assimilated into cishet society, and anything else "holds us back." It's someone who wants Sylvia and Marsha to march at the back, and who prizes cishet aesthetic over practical liberation.
A liberationist is someone who believes that queer liberation is not contingent upon public performance of identity.
Let me repeat that, so we're absolutely clear: a liberationist believes that queer liberation is not contingent upon public performance of identity. ANY IDENTITY.
That means a sufficiently cishet identity and a sufficiently "respectable" identity, but it also means a sufficiently radical identity. If you actually believe in queer liberation, you don't just believe in liberation for people who look, act, and believe like you. You believe in liberation for people who genuinely want to get married, have babies by IVF and live in the suburbs as well as for people who want to live childfree on an anarchist trans commune/Llama farm.
I hear people use the term "Assimilationist" and "Assimilationist Victories" to dismiss as meaningless those victories that are insufficiently radical for their tastes, and that to me is only proof that those people are not actually liberationists in any meaningful way. In liberation, there must be room for people who actually do just want to get married and live quiet, content lives going to their kid's baseball games.
The difference between Assimilationist thought and Liberationist thought cannot be simply replacing "we need to blend in" with "we need to stick out." It cannot simply replace "we must be integrated into cishet society" with "we cannot ever integrate into cishet society and anything which permits us to do that if we so choose is insufficiently liberationist." That's the organizational equivalent of yelling YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD, and I'm fucking over it, y'all.
My liberation doesn't have to be your liberation. Your liberation doesn't have to look like mine. What matters is that we are helping each other up the mountain and making long-term plans to get to where we can, and that we recognize that every choice we make is going to leave someone behind, and we account for that and plan for that so we don't leave them behind forever.
We cannot regard gay marriage or gays in the military or instituting a nationwide right to transition or any of our future goals as an endpoint. They are only goals part of the way up the mountain.
We don't get to the top until we are all free to live as we choose without government or societal interference or sanction, and without having to perform an identity for those rights and respect. The freedom to be ourselves must include the right to "blue hair and pronouns" but it also must include the right to "your kid's school plays and a duplex in a suburb." The latter is not an assimilationist lifestyle unless you try to enforce it on everyone.
I'm so, so tired of people acting like they're radical thinkers for poo-pooing the civil rights advances that the community has achieved through literally decades of work as "assimilationist victories." That's not clever, cute, or correct. Every. Single. One. Of those victories is written in tears and sweat and blood. Every single one is wrapped in the funeral shrouds of people who died fighting for it. Every single one was achieved not by assimilationists alone, but neither by people who think the only true victories are the ones sufficiently pure in their leftist credentials.
It is extremely possible and indeed likely that if you judge queers by their aesthetic, you will miss partnering with some of the most radical people and shackle your movement to people who cloak regressive politics in radical language. I've heard some truly noxious words come out of mouths framed by snakebites, and I've known extremely radical thinkers who look like your grandma. And I gotta tell you, in those local elections which keep school boards free from Moms For Liberty? The latter are useful people for liberationists to know and have in our camp, those people who think like liberationists but look like your grandma or your auntie.
Enforcement of aesthetic as a condition of liberation is assimilationist thought. It doesn't matter if the assimilation is to pink hair and tattoos or polo shirts and khakis - enforcement of aesthetic and philosophy as a condition of liberation is assimilationist thought. It's just replacing one kind of demanded conformity with another, and when we say "none of us are free until all of us are free," that also means free to be fucking boring if we want to, full stop.
We talk a lot about how much work goes into being disabled, how much work we have to put into making appointments, and fighting bureaucracy, but this is also true of queer life. Freedom comes with ease, with being easily able to update paperwork, with being easily able to find employment and housing, with being easily able to create the family structures we want to live in. When all of us can wake up in the morning assured of security in our beds, food in our bellies, meds in our med trays as needed, and a day ahead of us filled with chosen purpose and chosen meaning, which ends with us back in the bed of our choice at the end of the day, fulfilled in purpose and secure in our homes and chosen families, then we are free, and not before.
You may notice a seeming contradiction in this, in that my liberationist philosophy has room in it for the very people who are currently annoying the fuck out of me by demanding allegiance to a leftist aesthetic over practical liberation (that is, a movement based in harm reduction and long-term strategy over adherence to leftist purity of thought).
This is not a contradiction.
It is not a bug. It is a feature. My liberationist ideals mean that people have to have the right to be wrong without their liberty hinging on being right, that's all. :)
#and fucking obviously there is no room in liberationist thought for fascism#so don't start#spider's essays
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Hi! do you write for rottmnt?? and if requests are open can I ask for a leoxreader imagine where Mikey realises the reader has a crush on Leo and has to bring out dr.Feelings? Thank you :))
Dr Feelings | Leonardo
hi! yes, i do write for rise, i just haven't gotten around to actually doing anything for it yet! until now - obviously. and requests are open so don't hesitate if you want to request, people!!
this is leo x reader but mikey is the turtle most present for obvious reasons. and i think i might make a second part including the slideshow, especially if you guys like this one! you better like it
warnings: some swearing but that's it? mentions of a bar, i suppose. everyone is 18+!! rise of the tmnt
summary: your crush on leo is painfully obvious and mikey thinks you're overdue a checkup with dr feelings
word count: 782, short and sweet
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You grumbled under your breath, tapping your umbrella against your thigh as you watched Leo flirt with a random yōkai at the other side of the bar. “Fucking loser,” you hissed to yourself.
Having a crush on someone who flirted just as much as they breathed was the worst thing to ever happen to you and you resisted the urge to claw at your face, itching to sink your nails into the flesh of your cheeks as you shot the pair another (not-so) discreet glower.
The yōkai was pretty, you had to admit. Their fur looked as soft as silk despite the rain (that had made you look like a drowned rat – no offence, Splinter – despite being adequately prepared for the weather), their muscles were chiselled and huge, and their crooked grin would make anyone swoon. It was kind of making you swoon too, actually.
You turned away with a bitter scowl only to find Mikey beaming widely at you. His eyes flitted between you and Leo, still loudly flirting, and you wondered if you’d have enough time to bolt for the exit without being tackled by a mutant turtle as the gleam in Mikey’s eyes somehow shone brighter. “Angelo… don’t do it…”
His hands were moving and without thinking, you lunged for him, ignoring Raph’s indignant “HEY!” as you shoved him out of the way, not caring as drinks toppled to the floor. Mikey dodged with ease and by the time you dragged yourself back to your stool, he’d managed to slide his glasses neatly into place. “That’s Dr Feelings to you,” he said with a calm smile. "You're overdue a checkup."
There was a free path to the exit, and you glanced at it quickly. It wasn’t too far, you reasoned with yourself; it would take, what, 20 seconds if you put your back into it? Taking Mikey out had failed pitifully, and you knew you had to run for it if you wanted to preserve any dignity. Donnie was closest to the doorway, but you had faith that he wasn’t paying much attention to you or his brothers, so you shifted in your seat, sliding down slowly to plant your feet firmly to the floor as you bent your knees and prepared to race faster than you ever had before.
“Don’t you dare.”
You swallowed at Mikey’s warning tone. Taking an extra peek behind you and seeing Leo still entertaining someone that wasn’t you, you threw your umbrella at the orange-masked turtle and bolted. He cursed your name as it hit him directly in the chest and you could taste freedom as you reached the exit in record time.
Just as your foot reached the threshold, you felt yourself be drawn back with a force that knocked the breath out of your lungs. Strong arms wrapped around your torso, hauling you back to your seat as if you weighed no more than a feather, and you swore loudly. “You fucking traitor!” No one in the bar even glanced in your direction and you swore at them too for good measure.
Raph shrugged unrepentantly and sat you down beside him once more. "Language."
Mikey’s eyes fixed on you, and you felt yourself wilt under the intensity of his relentless stare. He held your umbrella pointedly and you winced at the very noticeable wet mark staining his shirt. “You are incredibly lucky that Dr Delicate Touch is on vacation,” he told you stiffly.
“I don’t need to talk about my feelings,” you sniffed, crossing your arms defensively.
“Scoff!” Maybe Donnie was paying more attention that you had thought.
“Scoffed at by Dr Feelings’ number one patient, how shall I ever recover?”
Mikey ignored you both, instead focusing on something over your shoulder. “Leo is making out with–”
Your neck cracked loudly (man, that was going to absolutely kill you later) with the speed at which you snapped your head towards the scene behind you. “Oh, you little shit.”
Leo looked over from his conversation (where he was definitely not kissing anyone), feeling your gaze on him for the umpteenth time that night. The red crescents curling over and decorating his cheeks were stark against his green skin, eyes bright and playful, and you felt pathetic as you flushed and waved awkwardly back at the teasing wiggle of his fingers.
Mikey just smiled that maniacal smile again when you turned around to face him. “I have a slideshow waiting for you at home, and you will be sitting through it.”
Your face was burning and all you could do was sink deeper into your stool as Raph patted your shoulder sympathetically. So much for preserving dignity, you thought miserably.
#tmnt#tmnt leonardo x reader#tmnt leonardo#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rottmnt x reader#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt leo x reader#rottmnt leonardo x reader#tmnt x reader#tmnt imagine#rottmnt imagine#tmnt leo x reader#rise!leo#tmnt mikey#tmnt michelangelo#leonardo#michelangelo#leonardo hamato#michelangelo hamato#dr feelings#rottmnt mikey#rise!mikey
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Oh, nothing much, just a list of reasons why I am so excited to permashift to my ultimate 4d reality //better current reality//
∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
— EXPERIENCING DESIRED SCENARIOS
I am a hardcore daydreamer just like my brother and sister shifters(you guys🫵🏾), and I can't wait to really live the silly imagines I always have in my head. Even if it's something relatively small, I will still get to live every second of them.
Idk if some of you guys will remember that one post where I mentioned Googlebox? But I'm mentioning it again🙄 because I scripted me, my love of my life, his sister who is my bff, my own girl bff and her boyfriend are part of the program teehee. I swear no one will ever understand how much of a comfort show Googlebox is to me and in general.
The idea of being on TV whilst watching TV and relaxing with my favourite people and eating my favourite food just makes me melt. It's such a core memory to me and idk I just love showing off how perfect my family is to everyone else
— FOOD
I can't wait for all the delicious food I'll get to eat. There will never be a single time where I have to eat something I don't like or don't want to ever again, because why should I have to? I'm mostly excited to have stuff like popeyes, McDonald's, seafood boils, those Korean and Japanese foods you see on mukbangs, loads of fruit bowls (I really do love fruit), basically everything meat/barbecue, pasta including ramen, and sweets too cus🧍🏿♀��🤷🏾♀️
— NO UGLY CLOTHES ALLOWED
Never will there be a day or night where I will ever need to wear clothes that don't suit me or clothes I don't like. My closet is going to be full of the cutest and gorgeous late 90s and early 2000s skirts, shirts, bellbottoms, flares, jackets, oversized ts, shorts, belts, slippers, jewelry, panties and bras etc etc
— ALREADY COMPLETED WORK
In my better cr, I scripted that I am already miles ahead of everyone in college work (and best believe all my work is at distinction level) so I have all the time in the world to do what I want until the next brief; I also scripted the date of month that I will wake up in my better cr in is the 17th April last week so I will have only 3 days of college next week (because i go in on mondays, tuesdays, wendsays and Thursdays) and 4 weeks of freedom to myself. (I also scripted my teachers let me do my own art work in my free time in class, cus sometimes all a girl wants to do is draw their ocs🥺)
Edit :: 17th of may now!!
— CURRENTLY IN MY MOVING ERA
In better cr, I am kind of in the planning process of moving out of my house to my apartment penthouse with my friend group. I'm thinking of moving out at 18 or 19 years old since I'm 17 rn and I still want to explore my better cr house cus it's wayyyy better than this one. But even once I've moved out I'll probably keep visiting my old home where my mum and her husband lives because.
∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘
Overall, I am so excited to experience everything I have ever dreamed of. I know I deserve my freedom and peace, excitement, and joy. Being able to just do what I want when I want and always knowing that no matter what, everything is going to be okay.
Life is so amazing, and it's so worth living. I know I will manifest my desired reality in no time, and I know all of the stress, time, anxiety, and patience won't be for nothing. Life is mine to explore, and I can't wait to do so
@4ellieluv @livingmydreamlife5555 @theshifterbear @cocozydiaries
#desired reality#master manifestor#4d reality#law of assumption#shiftblr#drself#loa#shifters#shifting#loa blog#loa advice#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa success#reality shift#shifted#reality shifting#shifttok#shifting community
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TBOB PART 1: OF BILL’S POWERS AND DIMENSIONS (2/2)
Hello, everyone.
In order to understand this post, please refer to the previous one HERE: it has all the premises and disclaimers for this one to make sense. Trust me, this post is long enough and you don't want to make it even longer.
Not that it would be a problem for me: I love rambling and Bill Cipher is the one I love rambling the most... but I'm not sure you're of the same advice ;P
<- Previous post
_____________________
A Theory That Might Be Wrong part 1: An idea never dies
So.
Bill was a 2D creature. He was able to see out of his world, sure. And yes, he was able to alter it too (see the previous post). But for what we know until now, Bill wasn’t able to get out of it.
However, in the end he got out. He “freed himself” from his own world and freed everyone else.
interesting choice that he talks about freeing not just himself but others too. And he talks about killing everyone as a liberation.
Do you know who else talks about death as freedom? People who kill themselves and/or others. They also think that by killing themselves, they are freeing themselves.
Also, from what we know of how things went, Bill destroyed his place and, every time he tries to remember it, he blacks out.
I might be wrong, but if we put together:
the lack of a physical form
dimensional powers
blacking out after the destruction of an entire world
I don’t know you, but everything seems to imply that Bill died too (at least in some form), in the destruction of his place. In his attempt to do something, he killed everyone, himself included. And he did it, because he was able to see and alter other dimensions… but not enter them. Just like me, a 3D living being, cannot enter the 2D world but just intersect it.
Until the destruction of his place, Bill had the powers of a higher-dimensional living being: he could look and alter another dimension, but not enter it. After the destruction of his place, he acquired the powers of a higher-dimensional concept and managed to enter it. He became “an idea” and not just a living being. He lost his physical form and became something more.
That’s why he sees himself as “an idea that never dies”: because he didn’t completely die, but became an idea. His physical form died with Euclydia, but his thoughts survived and Bill became who he is.
So the black out acquires a double meaning too: it’s not just due to Bill’s inability to accept his blame, but also his inability to remember his own death and how he survived.
And considering how he’s dealing with dying at the hand of Stanley, I don’t think he would take dying in Euclydia as well.
But okay, Bill might’ve died and this explains why he survived as an idea, until he managed to get a new physical form. Cool, it works.
However, we still have two questions:
How did he manage to survive, if until that moment Bill had the powers of a higher-dimensional living being only?
How did Bill get those powers in the first place?
_____________________
A Theory That Might Be Wrong part 2: Enter the Axolotl
Once Bill managed to escape Stan’s head, he met “the frilly guy upstairs”.
First: what does “upstairs” imply? Bill can see, enter and alter all dimensions. How “up” is “upstairs”? Is it an even higher dimension? How high is it, considering that the next lines are about “a tank outside of space”? And in the book where Mabel and Dipper meet him, the Axolotl says his place is “the time and space between time and space”.
I don’t know you, but this looks like a higher dimension outside all others. A space above all dimensions.
And well, if we consider that the Axolotl is basically an avatar of god, this can justify why he’s “upstairs”: he’s literally outside of all dimensions.
Second: the opposites met face-to-face. Bill and the Axolotl are literally called “the opposites”. And I doubt it’s just because of how they act. After all, a lot of things have opposites and, most of the time, the opposites are basically the same thing, but reversed - like a coin or a magnetic pole.
Third: Bill “pled his case to his old friend”. The Axolotl is Bill’s old friend. Old. Friend. These two know each other and they are friends.
That implies they are on good terms, at least. Sure, Bill calls him names and tries to fuck him, but he’s not too disrespectful in general, he actively searches for his help and accepts whatever trial the Axolotl gives him. If we compare this with how Bill acted towards Time Baby, there’s an abyss. Bill may not be fond of the Axolotl, but he respects him - in a way.
So, the rightful question is: when the fuck did these two met and became friends? When could Bill ever meet the Axolotl before this moment? What happened before in his life that left him on the verge of death, pleading for “just one shot in life AGAIN”?
Yes, I believe that Bill and the Axolotl met before and I believe it was right at the destruction of his home dimension. That’s when these two met for the first time. This is why they are “old friends”. This is why Bill somehow respects the Axolotl, even if he considers himself smarter.
It’s because the Axolotl already saved his life once. It’s because the Axolotl gave him the chance to survive the Euclidean massacre. It’s because the Axolotl gave him the power Bill was still missing, the one that made him go from a higher-dimensional living being to a higher-dimensional concept: the power to enter other dimensions. And he gave him this power by helping him change his form. Bill lost the physical form he had in Euclydia, became a concept, survived in the only place outside of physical rules that allowed a being like him to exist and, once he entered a new world, acquired a new physical form. Then he lost it again and came back to his old friend, to ask for another chance.
This can potentially explain everything, however there is still one question we need to answer, the one at the beginning of this theory: why did Bill have these powers in the first place?
_____________________
A Theory That Might Be Wrong part 3: A cycle of reincarnation
During their meeting after Bill’s defeat, the Axolotl tells him he cannot “regrow through denial” and that “to change your form will take some time”.
It’s heavily implied that the Axolotl already knows everything. He perfectly knew who Dipper and Mabel were, when he met them. And he “expected this was what Bill’d say” here. Exactly like a god who knows about past and future, the Axolotl already knew what Bill would say.
That also means he already knew Bill was trying to fuck him up and that his remorse was fake, when he pretended to feel sorry. Still, the Axolotl sent him to therapy.
If the Axolotl knows everything, then he already knows if therapy will help Bill or not. And if he already knows, it’s implied that it will help Bill, right? Otherwise, why give Bill “a trial” and tell him “one way to absolve your crimes/to change your form will take some time” if it was all pointless anyway? The Axolotl doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who gives false hopes: if he sent Bill to therapy, it’s because he’s sure this will give results - no matter how long it takes. After all, if the Axolotl lives “outside time and space”, I don’t think waiting for all of eternity is a problem for him.
In addition to that, thanks to the message from the Theraprism, we know that “death can be the beginning of a new life” and that with therapy everyone has “many exciting options for reincarnation”.
This implies reincarnation exists in the Gravity Falls multiverse. Sure, Bill talked about heaven and hell, but he said: “in an infinite multiverse, all conceivable realities can and must exist, which means logically there exists a paradise exactly tailored to every desire you’ve ever imagined” (the After Life pages).
This isn’t exactly the description of an afterlife, but just another reality that logically/mathematically should exist. Reincarnation, on the other hand, is described as a matter of fact: you die, you get reincarnated.
Now, let’s put together all we have:
Bill is a 2D creature, who has powers above any other living being. He can see and alter (and enter) all dimensions. He had these powers from birth.
When he destroyed his home dimension, Bill (probably) lost his physical form and became a concept. He also showed a huge god complex he’s still carrying on.
In Weirdmageddon, Bill gets a new physical form. When Stanley defeated him, he lost that form again.
Once he met the Axolotl, Bill pleaded for his life (again?).
The Axolotl has powers above any other living being. He knows everything about everyone, knows how things will go and lives in a space outside/above all dimensions.
The Axolotl knows Bill will succeed in the future.
The entire multiverse is based on the concept of reincarnation: you end your life and come back as something new, different. "A different form, in a different time", as the Axolotl said.
What I think is that the Axolotl already knows Bill will succeed in therapy, that’s why he sent him there. And he knows Bill will succeed, because Bill Cipher is one of the stages of the reincarnation cycle that will lead him to become the Axolotl.
This is why Bill was already born with powers beyond other’s imagination. That’s why he was able to see, enter and alter other dimensions, despite being just a 2D being. That’s why the Axolotl, despite knowing how bad he is, still helps him: because he knows Bill will learn, succeed, regrow, change and, after an eternity and more, he will reincarnate more and more times, until in the impossibly distant future, he will become the Axolotl.
Bill got those powers because he was destined to have them. He was already destined to live this life, learn something, reincarnate and, eventually, become the Axolotl. And that’s why the Axolotl still gives him a chance: because that creature is him. A him who still has a lot to learn - and he knows it’s a lot, because he already lived all of this. But it’s all necessary, because, down the road, all this learning will lead to understanding, growth and rebirth.
That also means reincarnation is a cycle and Bill is literally talking to a future - incredibly future - self, asking for another chance to a version of him who learned everything he still has to learn and that means time is cyclical too and I am biased, but I love this theory. It’s probably very very wrong, but hey, someone can still dream. Also, it connects everything nicely and I like to have everything connected.
_____________________
What did I get right
This part is just to brag because hey, I might’ve gotten Bill’s backstory wrong with AROMD, but it looks like I got his powers right somehow. I gave him the ability to jump between dimensions and see/alter all dimensions, so it’s kinda right, isn’t it?
Also, I said the Axolotl was in a higher dimension outside the multiverse - and I am somehow right. And I was also right, when I said he and Bill knew each other and were on friendly terms more or less. Some pretty cool things to be right about, so I’m satisfied :D
And with that, we reached the end of this analysis about dimensions and Bill's powers. And that’s the short analysis, because the next one will be about Bill's dimension and backstory.
Get ready for a 4-part analysis, kids ;)
Next part ->
(How about a coffee? ☕)
_______________________________
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#gravity falls#the book of bill#tbob#the book of bill spoilers#book of bill#book of bill spoilers#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#this is not a website dot com#gravity falls fandom#stanley pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#bill cipher#billford#analysis#character study#gravity falls meta
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Innata Malevolentia - Part One
Summary: there is something unsettling about Ettore that she can't quite put her finger on, and perhaps something deeper and more sinister about her check-ups with Dibs | Word Count: 3.2k ~ | warnings below the cut!
Series Masterlist | Links to my Taglists: General Taglist | Ettore Taglist
warnings: mentions of past non-con crimes (but vague), masturbation (f), intimate examinations, Ettore being creepy
Why do they put windows in here?
That's the constant thought that rattles around her brain, demanding an answer, but unable to find one.
She stands, by herself, arms crossed and neck craned to look up at the skylight. A box of light and cosmic colour, carved into the pitch black darkness, bathing her face in a cool, extraterrestrial glow.
It doesn't feel warm, like the sun would.
In fact it's freezing, like being dunked under a cold shower. Like that feeling when you're just about to fall from an extreme height, but your feet stay planted, arms stretched out for balance, but your weight wants to pull you down without the real force to do it.
Heart going fast, breath burning in your lungs and blood pumping around your body at such speed, it makes you feel weightless.
That's how looking at the stars and the endless abyss of the universe makes her feel.
Uneasy.
Getting closer but also further away at the same time.
If she looks at it too long she feels a bit sick, like the loops on a rollercoaster, her stomach feeling airborne for a moment.
The air conditioning nips at her arms, every little hair standing right on end. They don't even have the decency in this hellish place to pretend it's a warm, safe place to be.
How safe is she, surrounded by the most dangerous criminals, all free to roam the ship at their leisure?
Criminals including her.
There are a few people she knows she should be afraid of, and a few who are largely harmless until pushed that little bit too far, but they all have their tells.
Only Dibs has access to their records.
Only she knows what they've all done to deserve being here.
That smug-faced, cocky witch, knows everything, and says nothing about it, but carries herself as if she is any better herself. Her chin tilted up, putting on her professional facade that everyone seems to have seen through already.
The look, as if she was judging them.
But she was sick of being judged. Many had already judged her before, and doomed her to a lifetime of imprisonment because of it.
They're all monsters here.
Convicted to die on this ship, years away from Earth, from all she knows.
Not like it assisted her in any way, being on Earth. Her life had been riddled with constant failures at different points in her life, some her fault, some not.
But that's life, she muses constantly, to try and apply some reason to her existence.
Here, there's a level of freedom. No chains or bars on her cells at least. No guards to shout in her face or threaten with batons.
And yet, that feeling of being confined to a room is eclipsed by the feeling of being confined by nothingness.
She often wondered, what were her family doing right now? The little family she had left.
What was anyone back on Earth doing right now?
Had much changed?
She knew she only thought of these things because of how uneventful the ship always was. A routine set in stone, like commandments.
Wake up. Eat. Exercise. Eat. Whatever duty they were assigned. Eat. Shower. Sleep.
A monotonous, tiresome regime.
Designed to make life here as dull and boring as possible.
She's not stupid. She knows some of the crimes worthy of a death sentence.
Murder. Rape. In some cases, fraud. Which, in the same breath, seemed so tame, it could hardly be compared.
But she guessed most of them were here for murder.
It was too dangerous to think they were here for anything else. She didn't want the idea anywhere near her.
People like Monte, Tchemy, Mink. She could see those kind of people just snapping. Doing something they would later regret for the rest of their lives, and are currently paying the punishment for.
Boyse, Dibs and Nansen seemed different.
If they did murder, it would have been planned in a moment of madness.
But these were all just guesses.
One she couldn't guess for the life of her, was him.
Ettore.
An all-round weird guy. There was no other word she could think of to describe him.
Perhaps, unsettling?
In such small proximity, she sees him mostly everyday. And everytime she does, a chill prickles at her skin as she feels his eyes on her.. When she dares to look back at him, to see if he will look away, embarrassed at being caught, the pit in her stomach gets heavier when she sees he doesn't.
His blue eyes unapologetically stuck on hers, before wanding in a waving pattern all over her body, pausing at the places she might expect a man to.
His gaze would linger, but he never would.
He was like a whisper. Gone before you could even hear him approach.
In a way, that's what scared her the most. That she might be walking anywhere, in the supposed 'safety' of the artificial day or the darkness of the evening, and he might be following.
Silently.
And watching alongside it.
For what? She wasn't sure.
Was he trying to map out her movements, trying to find a set routine in her everyday life? To find ways of getting her alone to do god knows what?
Based on what she assumed about him, she made sure she was never truly by herself. Never vulnerable.
He looked like the kind to prey on vulnerability.
And therefore, women.
As he perceived them weaker, smaller, less able than him.
Not able to fight him off. Even if they tried.
Out of all the women, Mink was the easiest to talk to. To cling to.
She wasn’t even really sure how they filled their time. For what could they even talk about? Nobody wanted to talk about their crimes, or their life back on Earth. A life where everything seemed easier. Where one day they’d be told that today was their last day, and justice would be coming for them the next.
Death seemed a mercy compared to this.
Mid-spoonful of an undoubtedly terrible meal in the mess hall, Mink winces, one hand at her lower stomach.
“Period?” she asks.
Mink scoffs, shoving whatever beige looking meaty substance into her mouth, trying to act as if the pain didn’t bother her. But she just shakes her head, “I wish. Dibs’ latest checkup wasn’t the nicest”
Everything seemed to circle back to that old hag, who had shouldered control over the ship like some kind of cosmic dictator after the official captain, Chandra, died. Though she is no better than any of them, she certainly pretends to be, assuming herself to be the next kind of authority, when really, if everyone was smart enough to band together, each of them could easily do away with her.
But she was the only doctor.
And that was precious.
But why Dibs feels the need to inspect each of the women so intimately, on such a regular basis, makes a chill rattle through her body. The idea that Dibs has some kind of idea, some agenda, but isn’t telling them, is as terrifying as the endless darkness to some degree.
“What did she want this time?” she asks, pushing the inedible sludge around her plate. Though hungry, she feels little desire to actually eat anything.
Mink shrugs, “The usual I suspect. Just ‘checking on our normal bodily functions’” she replies as if quoting from the woman herself, scoffing like she doesn’t believe a word of that nonsense.
“I think she’s doing something fucking weird to us” Mink muses.
Curiosity nips at her ears as she raises her head to her fellow inmate, “Like what?”
Mink scans her periphery, checking if any of the other inmates are listening, too preoccupied with their own meals to care.
“I felt her put something inside me”
A chill settles at the back of her neck, where all her baby hairs stand on end.
Mink continues, “Boyse got a good look at what was going on. Says she thinks Dibs is trying to get us pregnant, for her psycho experiments”
Her eyes scan the table, as if trying to find answers where there are none, “She can’t do that, surely-”
“Oh yeah and who’s gonna stick up for us?” Mink interrupts, her face flat, expression cold. What she says is so unapologetically laced with the truth, but does little to take the prodding sting of panic from her.
“The people on Earth?” Mink scoffs, shoving yet another mouthful of food past her lips, “we are literally the worst of the worst. We waived the right to defense a long time ago”
Again. It’s true.
But it still does nothing to quell her nerves.
“All we have is ourselves” she adds, “and sometimes I don’t know if we can even trust that”
Having had enough, Mink leaves, carrying her tray back.
A kind of aching dread settles in the back of her mind.
For what reason would Dibs want any of them to get pregnant?
This was no place for a child, and certainly not equipped to deal with childbirth. And on top of that, who the fuck does Dibs think she is?
If she’s trying to get the women pregnant, surely, she must be getting the sperm from somewhere.
Monte was very vocal and proud of the fact he would never even touch another woman. For some inexplicable reason.
Maybe Dibs was forcing the men to do it. As she was the women and the examinations.
When her eyes scan the room, she sees him in her periphery first, his eyes like when you shine a torch in the darkness and see those two blinking amber orbs, staring right back at you. Unmoving. Like they are watching you in still and silence, as you are doing the same to them.
Even though she looks away as soon as they lock eyes, taken completely off guard that he had been staring in her direction to begin with, she still feels the way her skin prickles, feeling as if lots of gentle needles are prodding at the surface of her flesh, but not pressing hard enough to puncture.
It is like trying to hide, knowing there is nowhere to hide. Like wanting to disappear, in a place where there is only this harsh, blue light.
As she stares at her plate, the handle of her fork slovenly sliding into the beige mush, making her want to gag, she still feels it. The intensity of his gaze.
Nothing about it is warm.
He doesn’t even break as he spoons more food into his mouth, as if on auto-pilot, and completely infatuated. Like when you watch a movie and feel like you can’t blink, otherwise you’ll miss something.
It’s as if darkness seeps out of him, like a disease or a virus, flooding every inch of clear air he invades, swallowing the oxygen in the room. She often wonders about him, curiously.
How such a person, a mere man, can have that kind of effect.
Her watch beeps. Dibs wants her again.
But at least it's an excuse to leave.
And yet, she feels the intensity of his stare burning the back of her head as she does.
"Deep breath for me"
As if taking a deep breath will take away the sting of shoving that metal speculum inside her, lube or not.
She winces slightly at the discomfort, her hands forming fists where they're laying on her stomach. Staring up at the ceiling, she tries to loosen the muscles that are so tense and tight, she imagines it's not doing her any favours.
"Oh stop. It isn't that bad" Dibs says. She talks to her as if she's speaking to a child, presenting with a scraped knee, complaining that they're afraid the leg might fall off.
It only makes her want to punch her square in the face.
"What's the point of this again?" She asks, annoyance colouring her tone.
Dibs sighs, clamping the instrument open inside her, stretching her in a new place that feels like a dull ache.
"I am checking your reproductive health"
She could almost laugh at the vague response.
"So what? We can be your guinea pigs for your fertility experiments?" She adds, scoffing as she feels a swab poke at her cervix.
Dibs doesn't even have the decency to really deny it.
"I am devoted to reproduction" she explains, "the human body is an extraordinary thing. It can withstand an incredible amount of stress"
Ah, so that's why.
She wants to see if a baby can survive in these conditions.
She can't help but think that's just a bit sick.
"You are scum. All of you. This may give you some purpose in life, if you let it"
She laughs through her nose at that.
"And what does that make you?" She says, "playing god with dangerous criminals, being no better yourself"
"I did not say I was better" Dibs argues, still between her legs, with a light illuminating her work.
"And yet you feel like it's completely justified to try and get us pregnant against our will" she replies, shaking her head slightly, "you're no better than us. You're worse"
"Keep saying it and it does not change anything" Dibs sits up, reaching over to grab a clear tub. She doesn't see exactly what it is, but has an idea when she feels another instrument at her most intimate areas, pushing something inside.
Mink wasn't lying.
She was trying to artificially inseminate them. With the other prisoner's sperm.
It almost made her gag a little.
"You are a fine specimen" Dibs says, pulling the instruments she'd used out to sterilise later, "there is no reason why you cannot become pregnant in my view"
She can't help but laugh, "my body obeys me. Won't happen"
But Dibs just laughs back.
"We will see about that" she muses, "get dressed"
There's only one saving grace from being here. Away from him.
The Box.
As terrible as it sounded, it was her haven in this horrendous place.
Nobody was more shocked when Dibs announced it.
"You are not permitted to fraternise with the other prisoners. You may use the on-site masturbatory aid, The Box, should you feel the desire"
It seemed a strange thing to her, to include such a thing on a ship. For people who barely deserved to live, they deserved to at least have the privacy to get themselves off?
It was very weird.
But she didn't complain. Beats touching yourself in a cell you share with two other people.
She was only grateful she didn't have the bunk bed.
The Box could generally have a few people waiting to use it. And whenever she saw a queue for it, she grimaced and turned away, like she never intended to use it in the first place.
She knew other people had their way in it, but for some reason seeing them lined up outside waiting to have a fiddle, made her recoil back into herself.
It was almost sad that people had to wait for the supposed enjoyable experience. And having to watch them wait their turn.
Tonight though, she simply entered The Box as Boyse came out, not sparing a glance at each other when they crossed.
Not because they didn't get on. But because it offered some sense of privacy, to not acknowledge what they were here for.
Without embarrassment.
Everyone had urges after all.
It had been so long since she'd been with anyone. A long time before they even left Earth, as they certainly didn't let them fraternise with anyone within their earthly prison. Male or female alike.
At the beginning, it took her a while to get into the groove of using the Box. But now it had become second nature.
Once the door was shut, she did her business, bringing herself to peak on her fingers. Not being able to find it within herself to use the phallus on the table. It was just too weird.
Luckily for her, time passed slowly at least when she pleasured herself. Pressing her lips together to prevent any sounds from coming out. Apart from the whiny, hurried breaths that spilled from her with her orgasm, rolling in waves numbly through her limbs.
Feeling her heartbeat through her bud and a pulsing in her blood, she pulls her sweatpants back over her hips, sighing and smoothing her hair down. Pressing the button to exit, there's a lull in her horrendous situation. A brief, fleeting moment where it's just her, her feet shuffling in front of one another, her body heavy with pleasure, but light at the same time.
That is until the creaking of metal, of footsteps making their way down the ladder, bounces off the walls.
The hallway suddenly seems so much narrower, darker, with his presence.
She doesn't quite realise when he's sat down or stood far away, but now, almost right before her, she's struck by his sheer size. How tall and broad he seems in comparison. It sends a nervous chill over her bare arms, the skin beneath the short sleeves rippling up with goosebumps.
She swallows as they briefly make eye contact.
In the time she's known of him, he emotes very little. But here, seeing the faint flush on her face from the efforts of her time in the Box, one side of his lips curl up almost unnoticeably. His arms swing barely as he walks past her, his arm brushing against her shoulder, like he intended to do it.
Just the faintest touch, seems to give him something.
But it only makes her feel ill.
She dare not imagine what he could be thinking. Plotting.
She hears him murmur something deeply, a breathy laugh accompanying it.
Pivoting on her foot, her eyes find him down the hallway, where she just was, at the entrance to the Box.
"What?"
Half in, half out, his face turns over his shoulder, a faint smirk on his features as he steps backwards into the chamber.
With his messy blonde hair, once overgrown and cut himself, striking blue eyes, he would be attractive. If she didn't know him.
"Fucking cocktease" he muses, "playing hard to get, are we?"
The blood that rushed to her face before, suddenly drains.
His voice is like the purr of a cat. Calculated. A whisper, but not at the same time.
It frightens her. In a way only a man can frighten a woman with his words.
She's about to open her mouth to retort when he says.
"It's alright, I like a little struggle"
When he disappears behind the door, her blood has a chill to it.
She thinks of returning to her cell. Thinks about the fact that, since Boyse lashed out on Dibs and tried to conjure up a makeshift douche one evening, the women had been reduced to being tied down by their wrists as they slept.
The men don't.
She knows sleep won't come to her that night.
That she'll be sat awake, her wrists tied at her sides, hoping and praying that Ettore isn't fucked up enough to pay her a visit in this vulnerable state.
Perhaps, by staying awake, he won't.
She watches the doorway, hearing the faint click of skin walking on the linoleum floor in slow, careful movements. Her heart goes fast, blood pumped with pure adrenaline.
She sees his form, lit by blue, lithe, broad and littered with wiry muscle. His eyes, glimmering at her, seeing she's awake. His lips as they quirk up at the sides, like he's amused by what he sees.
Even as he carries on, walking out of view, she knows…
…that it's only a matter of time, until he has the courage to not just watch her.
And that here, she cannot escape him.
General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard | @bellstwd | @blairfox04 | @hb8301 | @jamespotterismydaddy | @mochi-rose | @nenelysian | @natty2017 | @randomdragonfires | @risefallrise | @theoneeyedprince | @thelittleswanao3 | @tsujifreya | @urmomsgirlfriend1 | @valeskafics | @watercolorskyy
Ettore Taglist: @bellaisasleep | @iamavailablesstuff | @the-common-cowgirl | @theroyaldixon | @ultraintrovertedgryffindor
#ettore high life#ettore imagine#ettore smut#ettore x reader#ettore#ettore x oc#ettore x y/n#ettore x you#high life fanfiction#ettore fan fic#ettore fanfic#ettore fan fiction#ettore fanfiction#ettore fic#ewan mitchell characters#ewan mitchell#high life 2018#high life movie
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random mystreet and diaries ramble time! specifically about travis!
travis is a really really important character to me. i probably oc-ified him in my mind on accident but iiit's fine probably. but either way he's really special to me with how his character is.
i'll probably end up rambling more about mystreet than diaries because i have more of a personal attachment to ms since that's what i mainly grew up with, so i'm sorry about that in advance ^^;
i'm also. putting it all under a read more because it's gonna get Long. so yea another warning in advance for that!
both in mystreet and diaries, it feels like travis tries to be a sorta comic-relief character at times to get everyone to smile and ignore their troubles. he does really stupid things to distract others from their issues because he's really big on having his friends feel better and happy. he's not the best at communicating at times, but he tries his best by just being weird and getting people to smile. his not too good communication skills do unfortunately cause him to use some of the...tricks he knows at Bad Times (one example being in diaries s2 when lucinda first sees her mother iirc) but he always means well and genuinely just wants everyone to be happy. even in the end of season 6 of mystreet, after everything that happened, the moment he was free and woke up and saw katelyn, he flirts with her in an effort to cheer her up even though they both just went through Hell.
travis is a really selfless character to me. in diaries, with the added s3 enki island lore, travis was essentially fighting a battle that No One There acknowledged. they all thought Travis was the cursed person causing the imps and all that jazz to show and he just. lived with it. he kept saying it was fine when his friends tried to defend him. and then there was the incident in the phoenix alliance island where people were scared of him and iirc he acted like it was fine but it really isn't but aaaaaa. and i'm so so so so happy with his choice after they got enki's relic. his choice to essentially discover himself and live freely without chaining himself down to another burden is something i will forever adore because he deserves it!! and i was so happy he saw that opportunity of freedom, to maybe feel the joy he's been wanting to feel for a long time. i don't know if any of this makes sense i really hope it does.
in mystreet travis's life is more...calm? i guess? there's the child experimentation that happened and then the whole thing of thinking his dad had two different personalities randomly with one of them being Horrible, which actually on second thought my irene does this poor guy still suffer. though we never actually really see any of it and only hear about his father's (well, michael's) negative actions (not including the child experimentation) Twice. once from lucinda talking to kim in s5 and a second time from travis talking to himself in the last episode of s6. he doesn't really talk about himself and instead opts for just vibing in the moment, and doesn’t mind listening to other's troubles.
it's obvious during pdh that he's pretty socially awkward, especially with having dante for a friend. and i think he was his only friend until starting high school where travis met aphmau and the others. like not to be rude but have you Seen dante. guy is a horrible influence. anyway so yea travis wasn't the best at communication, but this is also when he first manages to make someone Smile. he says some really bad pick-up lines to katelyn in s1 in an attempt to cheer her up after her break-up and it gets her to Smile and it distracted her from her troubles and that's when he realized that he can make others Happy with his shenanigans. and so he kept at it, because he wants people and those he cares about to Smile.
oh and quick (not quick i lied) side tangent about the Not Alone Buddies and also travis's role in the story of pdh. aphmau and travis's friendship is so so so special to me. partly because it reminds me of my own friendships vibe-wise, but also because of their special connection. i'm a bit upset that it wasn't expanded upon more during the main mystreet story but it does make a bit of sense since friendships can occasionally drift apart a little bit as you get older so the two of them aren't as close as they used to be. but i still wish they showed more of the closeness that Should Have Been There!! especially in pdh where he was set up to be sorta important! instead of opting for "here's a bunch of scenes with love interests for aphmau that you know aren't going to end up with her and almost nothing else other than strict plot mostly surrounding aphmau and her love interests" they should've had more scenes of her with her friends!!! and travis!!!! and also vylad!!!!!! because they became a trio after he transferred and that literally Never got expanded upon! i don't even think there's another scene of travis with vylad after their first meeting, i genuinely don't remember there being another one At All. maybe one or two? or just none at all and either way that's Bad. and vylad also barely has any proper scenes with aphmau also it hurts. this is a travis post but by extension it's also a Not Alone Buddies post because i love them forever and vylad should've gotten more screentime >:( along with a lot of the other characters they deserved so much more! and it really bothers me that they set up travis to be sorta important at the start of pdh, only to quickly demote him to side character and comedy duo with dante. it really hurts.
in main story mystreet he gets a bit more attention but it's mostly for a comic relief kinda thing at the start. the fact most of his character in s1 got retconned is really funny to me. anyway he gets character development in season 2!! he stood up for himself because katelyn was being Not Nice and i'm so proud of him for it!!! this is also when him being a creep mostly stops iirc so that's nice, but i tend to pretend the creepy scenes Don't Exist in the first place. anyway after that there isn't really much development for him iirc until season 5, though of course there's that nice fun scene in aphmau's year where michael says hello, but he shows up a lot more in season 5 and of course season 6. in s5 it's like "huh i have a weird voice in my head and i suddenly occasionally can't control my actions but surely it must've been me. oh well as long as it makes katelyn happy :)" and like. it's so precious he just wants her to be happy and it hurts knowing michael's intentions and stuff because in both s5 and the start of s6 he just wanted katelyn to smile and be happy and safe so he was okay with letting the weird voice do its thing as long as it helped. it uh. stopped helping after The Incident. but even when he was trapped in his own mind and forced to watch he wanted so badly for it all to stop because he didn't want his friends to suffer. he didn't care what happened to him as long as his friends would be okay, which is why his monologue in the last episode horrifies me. i read a theory that he's going to sacrifice himself to stop the rumored meteor in s7 and something'll cause everyone to forget him and i really really really hope that doesn't happen i hope s7 gives him an actual calming break in the end please.
i'll be honest i...don't know where i was actually going with this post. it just kinda happened. i was alone with my thoughts (bad) and i saw a post with travis on it and just went "travis :)" in my mind and the next thing i knew this wall of text got vomited onto my phone screen. thinking of travis will now be my comfort i guess?? i just think he's neat <3
#i'm not proofreading Any of this#so if i mispelled something or wrote something stupid cuz it's really late at night and my brain is tired then woops. that's stuck there now#can you tell i like travis. i really like travis#and this is actually a new development i don't remember liking him nearly this much back when i was first into ms and mcd#honestly travis is probably my favorite mystreet character. mcd favorite goes to laurance but ms is definitely travis methinks#ok lemme do actual tags now#mystreet#minecraft diaries#minecraft mystreet#mcd#phoenix drop high#pdh#mystreet travis#mcd travis#pdh travis#travis pdh#travis mystreet#travis mcd#travis valkrum#aphverse#aphblr#aphmau#i don't wanna tag any other characters cuz this post is mainly just travis lol#❄️ramblings❄️
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Send me your Dragon Age fanfics to read & rec/review!
Hi everyone, and welcome to DAFicRecs! Right now it's just me, Sin, running the show, but over time I hope more people will join this project and help me share the love and joy of DA fanfic. 😁💙
My goal is to support fanfic authors in our community by sharing the works I love (and what I love most about them) with the Dragon Age fandom. I have almost two decades of professional experience reviewing books (fiction and non-fiction), and I'd like to use those skills to support our community.
In the past, I ran a similar blog for the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom, which you can check out here: BG3 Fic Reviews
If you would like me to read your fanfic, please send me an ask (with a link to your work and a short description) and I will add your work to my reading queue. While I do sometimes write "spot recs/reviews" of work I really love, I would prefer that this be a collaborative project with the community and that authors submit their work to me themselves.
Thank you for your support and please keep creating and sharing your incredible work! And readers, please remember to leave kudos on your fav fanfic authors' work!
Below the fold are fic submission guidelines! A master list of all the recs/reviews I've posted will also be there in future!
If you have any questions at all, please feel free to send an ask to DAFicRecs.
Last updated: 18 September 2024.
FIC SUBMISSION GUIDELINES
When you submit your fic, please be sure to include the following:
A link to your work & the pseud/handle you publish under (regardless of platform)
The title of your work
Any tags I should be aware of
A brief summary
Any social media you would like to be tagged in the rec/review when we publish it (please include a link to your profile)
If you have commissioned artwork for your fic, please feel free to let us know! We would be happy to post it with the rec/review of your work (with the artist's permission)
What kind of work can you submit?
Anything and everything. Long fics in progress, short NSFW fics, dark fics, angst fics, fluffy fics. Everything is welcome. If there is something in the tags I really can't handle, I will be in contact with you and let you know. In the rare cases where that does happen, please know it is not a reflection on your work—all it means is that I'll need to hold it until I find a reviewer who is comfortable reading those themes.
To be absolutely clear: this blog is firmly profiction and therefore supports and celebrates creative/artistic freedom in fiction.
You can submit your fic to me through the DAFicRecs asks here. Please note that I won't respond to your ask (unless I need further information) and I will just add it to my queue and will get to reviewing it as soon as I can. Please don't worry when you don't get a response to your ask! Once I have created an AO3 collection for my fic reading queue I will update this post with a link. Then you can check there what's currently in my queue, and whether I have added you.
#dragon age#dragon age fandom#dragon age fanfiction#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#fanfic#writing#ao3#daficrecs info post#daficrecs pinned
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✍🏻 WRITEBLR INTRO
👋🏻 Hi, I’m Winter. I write dark, emotionally intense, queer fiction with characters to go feral over, inspired by city streets and stormy seas, scars and synchronicity, synesthesia and l’appel du vide.
💬 I'm writing-related ask and tag game friendly and I love reblogging your WIP snippets.
📚 You can read my stories online for free at 🔗winterandwords.com. It's the only place they're available. More information about each book can be found further down this post.
📱 I'm winterandwords on 🔗Bluesky for writing stuff and 🔗TikTok for daily life stuff.
☕ If you enjoy my writing and would like to offer support, you can do that via 🔗Ko-fi. I share my stories for free with the option to donate if you can afford to, so your contributions are super appreciated!
🌈 It always makes happy to encounter queer characters whose identity and narrative aren’t limited to or by their queerness, so I’m writing the characters I want to see in the stories I want to read.
📝 I write for an adult audience, but my stories don’t include explicit sexual content because it’s not my vibe (not a genital in sight here, folks). That said, if you’re uncomfortable with fiction that's frequently dark, sometimes spicy, and often chemically enhanced, I might not be the ideal writer for you to follow. Not everything is for everyone and that’s OK.
🛑 I would prefer minors didn't follow me. I don't follow minors, at least not intentionally. Sometimes it's not obvious and I'm not the age-in-bio police. In the kindest possible way, if you're under eighteen, my writing is not for you and I'd rather engage with other adults only.
💜 My reblogs tend to be writing-related, with a few exceptions. My likes are (mostly) non-writing-related things I get a kick out of, or personal posts that I want to acknowledge but that don’t feel appropriate to reblog.
💌 If, for some reason, you need to contact me outside of the hellsite, you can do that at winterandwords[at]gmail[dot]com
🌊 NOVEMBER BREAKS (complete)
BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Length: Approx 52k words Working title: Project Storm Tags: #november breaks and #project storm More: Story summary
💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com
VIBE Crime, weather symbolism and questionable life choices. Hurt me, I need to feel alive. Violence is a drug. Also, drugs are drugs. This is a love story like crude oil is a tea. #ThatShouldNotBeHot. Nothing’s real anyway.
INTRO No conscience, no problem. Noah kills for money. Brett hides a life of crime behind a successful career. Officially, they both protect people from people like themselves. Unofficially, everything is falling apart. Until they meet. And it all gets worse.
🗡️ BRIDGE FROM ASHES (complete)
BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Length: Approx 70k words Working title: Project Frequency Tags: #bridge from ashes and #project frequency More: Story summary
💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com
VIBE High-rise buildings and low-life scum. Everything hurts, but not enough to feel good. Yes, that’s a gun in my pocket and no, I’m not pleased to see you. If mind control is real, why do I still have to make decisions?
INTRO Too useful for prison and too dangerous for freedom, underworld assassin Rafael Turner is sentenced to serve in a secretive military agency. When a mission to infiltrate a criminal operation drags his past to the surface and someone he thought he’d lost forever unexpectedly returns, how much is Rafe willing to risk to settle old scores and have a chance at a future he’d given up hoping for?
💀 SPIN CYLINDER (currently posting twice-weekly chapters)
BASICS Genre: Transgressive, literary Audience: Adult Tags: #spin cylinder More: Story summary and tag list
💻 To read online for free, please visit winterandwords.com
Spin Cylinder is the sequel to November Breaks, which can be read here.
POSTING SCHEDULE Spin Cylinder chapters are posting on winterandwords.com twice-weekly on Sundays and Thursdays from 1st September - 19th December 2024.
VIBE Slice of life, but life is drugs and crime. They deserve each other (derogatory). Violence as a substitute for therapy. Very elegantly wasted. My favourite mistake, my weapon of choice, and the parts of ourselves that we can’t leave behind.
INTRO Bound by desire and destruction. Contract killer Noah and white-collar criminal Brett retire from successful but stressful careers to build a home together on a foundation of obsession, shared secrets, and murder. But when they start to feel restless and the downward spiral beckons them deeper, how far will they go to find their way back to themselves?
🔫 NAME FROM NOWHERE (WIP)
BASICS Genre: Cyberpunk, neon-noir Audience: Adult Working title: Project Aria Tags: #name from nowhere and #project aria More: WIP summary
Name From Nowhere is the sequel to Bridge From Ashes.
VIBE Found crime family. Memory is a curse, but it’s also a weapon. What doesn’t kill you makes you deadly. No identity, still a crisis. Life may be more than survival, but survival is a good place to start. Because fuck you, that’s why.
INTRO Imprisoned for a crime or five that she definitely committed, Aria made it through her sentence remembering more than she was supposed to but not enough to make sense. An illicit trade syndicate gives her a fresh start and the acceptance she won’t admit she craves, but her blood family’s betrayal is seared into her mind and revenge is only ever an opportunity away.
📇 TAG INDEX
#the shit in my head | rants, rambles and writer life
#november breaks and #project storm | WIP excerpts, updates etc for November Breaks (working title Project Storm), the prequel to Spin Cylinder
#spin cylinder | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Spin Cylinder, the sequel to November Breaks
#bridge from ashes and #project frequency | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Bridge From Ashes (working title Project Frequency), set in the same world as Name From Nowhere
#name from nowhere and #project aria | WIP excerpts, updates etc for Name From Nowhere (working title Project Aria), set in the same world as Bridge From Ashes
#my writing | snippets and other wordstuff
#your writing | other people’s words
#writeblr tags | tag games and memes
#answered asks | replies to your questions and messages
#writeblr connect | boosting writeblrs for the community
#reblogs | what it says on the tin
#reblogs plus | reblogs with my additions
#tumblr meta | hellsite stuff'n'things
#calmwrimo | info, updates and reblogs for CalmWriMo, a chilled-out November writing and self-care experience
📸 IMAGE CREDITS
Profile picture My own
Header and background Original photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels, edited under license
November Breaks My own
Bridge From Ashes Original photo by Drew Dizzy Graham on Unsplash, edited under license
Spin Cylinder Original photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash, edited under license
Name from Nowhere Original photo by Wilmer Martinez on Unsplash, edited under license
#writeblr#writeblr intro#writeblr community#writers#writers on tumblr#writers of tumblr#writing community#writer community#writeblr introduction#writer introduction#am writing#writers community#tumblr writers#writer intro#writing a book#indie writers#indie authors
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Undertale/ISAT crossover thoughts
Don't really want to write one myself (already got enough fics I'm failing to write XD) but ever since I finished In Stars and Time I've been thinking how I'd write a crossover between these two amazing games and I figured I'd share my notes in case anyone needs a bit of help/motivation in writing their own~ =D
Warning: These will mostly be in 'order of thought' as it's all barebones stuff. Also contains FULL spoilers for both Undertale and In Stars and Time so er, if you're still looking to play those/still getting through them don't read this and please play this incredible games.
Mt Ebott is located on The Island and the shattering of the Barrier brings the ability to see color back to all those on the (ISAT) surface.
Humans losing the ability to see color in ISAT was due to them/the 'wish wizards' of The Island sacrificing it (along side their seven strongest 'colour casters') in a Wish Craft ritual, naturally leading to humanity losing most of their 'colour magic' knowledge.
Undertale's 'sepia flashbacks' were all Chara's memories of how the world looked to them, BUT once in the Underground they were able to see (and remember things on the Surface) in color (hence the whole 'golden flowers' bit; it was still mostly just a cover story but Chara genuinely wished that they could see their favorite flower field as the 'gold' they realized it was rather than the 'mid tones' they saw it as on the Surface).
...The 'erasure' of the Island I'm thinking might've been accidentally poor Chara and Asriel's fault: with Chara's 'ritual' killing of themselves via buttercup taking three days to happen, Chara being from the Island insisting Asriel always give them flowers in groups of three, seven and thirteen, and an entire Underground filled with tons and tons of 'trapped' wishes from monster kind for their freedom combining with Chara's self loathing/desire to hurt those who hurt them trapping them in a loop that Just. Wouldn't. End. until Chara eventually snapped and pulled a 'May these people, this Island, EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WHO'D EVER HURT THE MONSTERS I LOVE including me BE ERASED UNTIL THE MONSTERS ARE FREE!' and um. Welp. There went an entire nation... (also Flowey eventually remembered some of this but only after going back to being Flowey post Asriel and probably it took a while for him to sort through all that).
Which er, means in this fic, that the people of The Island and the Island itself are still 100% there but they've all spent roughly 8 years or so all blitzed out of their minds: Need to think of Chara's exact wish wording so its not just 'corpses everywhere' but very good odds the people on the Island were either running on full automatic for years or able to remember some stuff but only if they very very carefully did not think of themselves as their own countrymen/used the languages of elsewhere/were careful not to think of where they were as any actual location within their country...
...Which naturally would effect the kids by far the most as their very language is basically a brown note (bilingual types could at least swap over to a different language but likely most of The Island was rendered silent) and well, pretty hard to remember Mt Ebbot is the mountain that must not be climbed when you can't think of the locations around you by name and the adults may or may not remember the kids exist half the time so... Yeah. Cue a lot of kids climbing up the mountain due to both lack of warnings and increased chances of feeling ignored/isolated/hurt.
Aka why in Undertale we can never hear/read anything Frisk says, why the monsters outside of Flowey/Asriel never refer to Chara by name and why no one remembers Frisk's name until after the Barrier shatters: Chara's 'Wish' couldn't be broken until then.
Not sure where all the anime and high tech that's washing into the Underground is coming from but either The Island used to be a massive tech hub prior to memory erasure, a LOT of tech was lost along with the loss of color or The Island's memory erasure in the ISAT world color magitech? maybe the wizards tried to seal away more than just monsters?, or IDK maybe the Underground barrier techincally had them displaced outside of Space and Time a bit and the garbage that was washing in was from literally everywhere thanks to the Universe wanting to help them or something (side note: realizing the memory erasure from Chara may have accidentally snipped Universe worship from the monsters as well since they clearly venerate the stars also but well. That longing for the stars DID cause them pain so..).
Imagining that Siffrin and party are in Bambouche meeting Bonnie's sister (or idk, having a vacation or reunion there if you wanna give Siff a bit more recovery/'explaining his issues to his family' time) when the Barrier is broken and all the colors come rushing back. Best first sunset ever (right before the entire Surface world kinda flips out over color, and to a lesser extent those familiar with The Island start remembering more and more details as the 'curse' weakens a little with every monster leaving Mt Ebbot) followed up by Siffren and the others absolutely losing their minds over how beautiful the stars are with just a tiny bit of color to them (the stars no longer being passively pushed out of people's awareness helps).
Anyway next day the party realize they have to investigate: Partly because Siff is well, kind of losing their mind over being able to see and remember home a little, but also because W.T.F and the Island is clearly the epicenter of everything going on. ...Also Siff may remember childhood stories about colors being locked away to serve as warning for if the Monsters returned so um. That's could be a thing.
Meanwhile the Monsters are getting a MUCH warmer reception from the local humans than they ever could've imagined (accidentally saving a nation from enforced amnesia kinda does that) and are also very confused as to why no one knows who they should get in contact with for formal alliance stuff (not sure if The Island has much of a government left at this point honestly...)
Would Flowey and the ghosty Chara acompanying Frisk count as Sadnesses???
... And er, that's all I got plot/setup wise. Most of my brain energy had been spent on imagining what soul colors all the ISAT cast have and also 'What Pokemon would they all be if they ended up in a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game?' so have a list with my reasoning on that front! =D
Siffrin: Blue/Integrity - Might seem like an odd choice given his constant lying/acting but like. Given all of the memory erasure and the torture of the loops Siffrin's absolute refusal to compromise his family's happiness/safety or use the loops for literally anything not 'helping family/ending the loops' based (even when he's basically losing his mind and could really use just... Taking a loop or three to goof off or something) just screams how devoted he is to what he believes in and well, the amount he lies syncs up well with how insane he's going so yeah. Siffren is an Integrity soul who's having a really really hard time being true to himself due to all the wobbie breaking he's gone through all his life. Specifically I like to picture his soul as a very dark, deep black/blue with little pinpricks of other colored light (mostly green, red and yellow), like a tiny heart shaped starry night's sky <3 (And er, bet that soul went very 'red/bleeding sky' as he was losing it in Act 5; Determination isn't his color by nature but they were not well at that point at all).
Isabeau: Cyan/Patience - Isa is super kind and all sorts of things but what really sets him apart is just how patient he is about everything (in ways both good and bad). I like to imagine his soul looking like a blue daytime sky, maybe with the odd white cloud and yellow 'sun' dot: partly because it fits him but also partly to cutely contrast Siffrin's. *cue me humming Like Morning Follows Night from the RWBY OST because I mean. It kinda fits honestly
Mirabelle: Orange/Bravery and/or Yellow/Justice - Again another 'you might not think so' but like. Mirabelle is hella gutsy despite her anxiety and I admire her so so much (also JUSTICE BARRIER REFLECT AGAINST THE KING YAAAAGH! XD) Not super attached to it as Isa and Siff's but the orange/yellow glow of a sunset (maybe with some pink/purple along the edges to show her Perseverance <3).
Odiel: Green/Kindness - She's hella awkward about how much she cares and not the greatest at reading situations/reacting gently but like. Her sheer affection towards the others, her always watching and coming out with the bandages and how she point blank tells Siff 'nope, not angry at you nearly blowing up the world. Also you trying to do that because you love us is cute' means I can't really see her any other way~ Not sure if her soul would be dark green (for more Integrity) or more light green (for more Justice) but all in all, very very green, like light/dark speckled leaves <3
Bonnie: Purple/Perseverance - This kid endures so much so well I swear (they're also really brave so a little orange would work well too but despite everything I don't think bravery is their main characteristic). I like to think of their soul as very 'purple evening clouds with bits of brave orange gold/setting sun on the edges'.
And Loop has a White boss monster soul for reasons; thinking that in this crossover that Monsters believe that they were born from the Universe's compassion (with The Islander's myths claiming they're the result of failed/'cursed' wishes like the 'brother who can understand my suffering Wish Craft' fairytale Siff finds in the Orary room) and both Monsters and the Islanders believing Sadnesses are born from forcing a wish of cruelty/sorrow that goes against the will of the Universe (cue Chara and Flowey who probably were Sadnesses in this until the breaking of the Barrier grumbling that yeah that sounds about right and The King from ISAT proving to even more aaagh than he already was).
And yeah. I'm out of babble thoughts now so hope that this was interesting for you all and please feel free to yoink any ideas that snag your interest <3
#fais fanfic rambles#Undertale#In Stars and Time#fanfic#fanfiction#crossover#crossover fanart#ut#ISAT#undertale spoilers#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#I love Chara (narraChara FTW) but like ISAT's setup is perfect for innocent child's wish to get turned into country ending nightmare fuel#just imagining how the people of ISAT react to the world suddenly being ALL THE COLORS is far too fun to imagine honestly#budding fashion designer Isabeau is both more excited and stressed than he's ever been in his life (well discounting Siff stuff anyway XD)#Siffrin is... Probably having a time of it remembering so much#On the bright side possible little sibling figure/'looper's understanding' with Frisk?#Most of this is just world building rather than any kind of plot or character interactions honestly#Where DID the anime come from???#First night post color return was probably a world wide Event though for both humans and monsters#Siff probably in tears stargazing and REMEMBERING that night#fanfiction ramble#fanfic notes#undertale fanfiction#ISAT fanfic#In Stars and Time fanfiction#there its out of my head#may other find it useful for their own fanfic ideas
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Question, can I request a Kuroo x Y/N hurt/comfort where Y/N tries coming out to their parents as bi/pan and their parents yell at them so Y/N goes to Kuroo for comfort?? Thanks =)
OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG, I don't even know if you'd still want to read this. :((
Life has been a little bitch, but let me tell you, I LOVED your request, it hit really close to home for me, so that's also why I spent so much time on it... I really wanted to make it something special for you :)
Some quick notes:
-Multispec is used as a catch-all for all identities that involve attraction to multiple genders, rather than just bi or pan, to be more inclusive.
-They/Them is used as a catch-all to include Y/Ns of all genders. However, I did make them a member of the volleyball team... By the time I remembered it was a boys' only team, it was too late, so yeah let's just pretend that this is a more gender diverse world–
-I don't think much is said about Kuroo's mom in canon, so my interpretation of what she would be like in this situation is entirely based on head canons.
With that out of the way, without further ado–
Never Stop Loving
TWs: LGBTQIA-phobia, child abandonment, physical abuse, HEAVY religious bigotry
Growing up, crushes seemed so simple to everyone. A boy and a girl would start spending a lot of time with each other at school, and then everyone would tease them, never ceasing to ship them together relentlessly. Sometimes, in a few lucky cases, either one of them would say ‘I like you too!’ And thus, a silly puppy love relationship began.
Being a boy and liking girls, or being a girl and liking boys, was the standard childhood experience for everyone around you… except for you yourself.
For one thing, you resented stereotypical gender roles from a very young age. The idea that girls must be giggling and gossipy, and that boys should be all rough and tough, was abhorrent to you. Deep down, you always knew that there was much more to gender than that, and that there were probably more than two genders in the first place.
That conviction didn’t help you much in terms of fitting in. However, gender itself wasn’t the only idea you struggled to grasp, it was which gender you meant to be attracted to.
As you grew a bit older, teachers began mentioning that there were boys who liked boys and girls who liked girls too. Yet still, even that didn’t seem to answer the burning feelings you had always held inside.
That butterfly feeling that was characteristic of crushes wasn’t exclusive to any one gender for you– although short-lived, you had periods of romantic fantasies for all kinds of people.
Despite the fact that everyone around you was choosing one gender with ease, you eventually came to accept that this was how you felt. Even though people called you weird and outcasted you whenever you even mentioned the possibility of a person being able to be attracted to more than one gender, there was no ‘getting rid’ of these feelings, so you shrugged and figured that you may as well accept it.
It wouldn’t be until your teenage years rolled around and you began browsing through internet forums that you found that there was a name for these feelings– the multisexual spectrum.
Whichever one of the many identities on this spectrum you came to identify with, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It felt so freeing just to know that there were so many others who had the same attractions as you, and that you weren’t crazy after all.
However, with that freedom also came a realisation that crushed and shattered your whole entire world to pieces.
Tragically, your parents didn’t seem to feel the same way when it came to people who didn’t fall into heteronormative expectations of what they thought love should be.
Forget those on the multisexual spectrum, they despised even just gay and lesbian people.
It began with a quick changing of the channel whenever some news about LGBTQIA+ people came on. You shrugged it off at first, but they slowly began revealing their true colours.
“How can someone be so sinful? They will surely burn in hell.”
“They’re violating God’s natural order!”
“They’re so evil, they’re fucking brainwashing the kids now too!”
“I wish the government would have never legalised gay marriage…”
“One man. One woman. That is the only acceptable version of love.”
Whenever these words from both your mum and your dad rang in your head, you felt sick to your stomach. They had no clue that you liked multiple genders, and judging from their reactions to gay people, they would probably react even harsher when they discovered that people on the multisexual spectrum exist too.
And you were one of those people.
Being aware of what could potentially happen in the event that they found out, you kept your identity on the extreme down low. You didn’t even tell anyone on the volleyball team at your new highschool, Nekoma High.
You had developed a passion for volleyball over the past few years. It was the best distraction that you found for everything going on at home. In fact, you often tried to stay back for as long as possible even beyond Nekoma’s regular afterschool routines, just so you would have to spend time with the two who you weren’t even all that sure you could truly love anymore.
As for your teammates, they were the first real friends you had in a long time. Of course, Nekoma was notorious for their rather… chaotic antics. Kuroo, the captain of your team, was arguably one of the most chaotic of them all, what with his snarky remarks and overly laid back attitudes.
Still, behind it all, anyone on the Nekoma team could always count on each other. You had never felt a stronger “mess with one of us, mess with all of us” mentality anywhere else.
And yet, you didn’t hint at your identity to any of them either. The reality remained that you couldn’t predict what they would feel about one of their teammates having a multispec identity, and besides… you didn’t want to burden them or disturb their happiness in any way.
You resolved to keep everything going on in your head to yourself, for the sake of everyone you cared about.
One day, though, you had let your guard down.
During practice at the volleyball club, everyone was taking a break. Your teammates had boundless energy, but even they got tuckered out at times, and the same went for you just as much.
You sat in a corner as your mind began to wander off to your hidden identity crisis, as it often did.
“Will I have to keep this a secret forever…?”
Despite your best efforts, the burden of keeping a secret weighed down on your heart more and more. Just before your thoughts began to spiral out of control, an idea popped in your head.
You took out your laptop, and frantically began to type all those thoughts you had been keeping to yourself. You wrote about your identity, and your reluctance to tell your parents.
As you typed, it became apparent that, however scary the idea was, your parents would have to know sooner or later. If you ever started dating at one point, especially if that partner was the same gender as you…
Your thoughts were snapped back to the present moment by a sudden wave of thirst. It hit you just how hard you worked on perfecting your volleyball techniques, to the point that you had neglected hydration.
The sense of urgency became so great that you bolted off to find your water bottle.
However, your laptop had been left open.
Kuroo was the first to notice this. You didn’t know why, but Kuroo was always the first to notice even the little things about you.
“Where are they? They left their laptop open, some dumbass is going to fumble with the ball and smash the screen to tiny little pieces!”
His rambling to himself stopped when he noticed the notebook window left open on your screen. Something told him he shouldn’t be reading it, but his heart told him that this was much more important than that.
“Let’s see here…” He mumbled under his breath, reading everything to himself in the lowest voice he could. Soon, he trailed off, purely in shock from all that had just been revealed to him.
Of course, he was taken aback by the fact that you liked multiple genders– partially because he did too, and just like you, he wasn’t expecting to find anyone like him.
However, more than that, he felt ashamed. He was the captain, for god’s sakes. He was supposed to know his team like the back of his hand, and yet he couldn’t pick up on all these struggles.
“God, can’t I just call off the practice for today? I really just want to give them a hug right now…”
That was his first instinct, but he knew that would arouse too much suspicion, and the last thing he wanted to do was to draw attention to you. He knew that you could feel embarrassed when you were the centre of attention.
And so, practice went on, but Kuroo was noticeably stumbling. All his blocks were broken down like glass, and more often than not, he was catching the ball in his face.
“Haha, the way Kuroo’s catching the ball smack in the face is reminding me of the shrimp from Karasuno!” Lev teased.
Kai, Kuroo’s vice captain, sighed.
“Lev, how many times do I have to tell you that we don’t talk smack about other teams’ players behind their backs? But, you’re right… I think we have to call it quits for today, unless we want our captain’s face to be bruised beyond return.”
Mostly, everyone shuffled out of the gym with no more than a few grumbles or jokes, or the occasional side eye from Kenma.
You, on the other hand, immediately raised an eyebrow at this.
You knew something was on Kuroo’s mind.
What you didn’t know, however, was that Kuroo knew something about you as well.
When everyone had left, you both made firm eye contact with each other. As if pulled in by a rope, you took step by step to close the distance between you two, neither of you breaking that unwavering eye contact.
When you were mere inches apart from each other, you kept on with that impromptu staring contest in silence, waiting to see who would speak up first.
After a few moments, it turned out that both of you blurted it out at the same time.
“Kuroo, what is wrong with you today?”
“I support you, you idiot!”
The difference in what you both said prompted your gazes to turn bewildered.
Your eyes went wide.
“Huh!?”
You understood exactly what he was talking about. It was the fact that he must have found out somehow that terrified you, and you couldn’t help but tremble as you fumbled over your words in an attempt to execute damage control.
“I’m sorry… If you want to think I’m disgusting and curse me, you have every right to… I know I’m a freak for being different.”
Kuroo stared at you as if you had just spoken in an entirely different language.
“Now, why the fuck would I do that?” He was always sly like this, but this time, there was a hint of fondness in his voice as well.
Your head and your heart were still racing a mile a minute, and when Kuroo saw that his laid-backness wasn’t helping, his face softened.
You felt gentle, strong arms embrace you, and without thinking, you buried your head into his chest.
“If you’re a freak, then I am too, you know.”
When you didn’t react, he elaborated further.
“I’m also into more than one gender…”
At this, your head shot up towards him, gazing into his eyes with both a sense of surprise and a newfound admiration for him.
He smiled at your eagerness, patting your head.
“From now on, we don’t keep things from each other, okay? I’m your captain, and I’m well aware that I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but it’s still my number one goal to support my team in everything I do.”
To tease him back, you smirked into a sly grin, one that could even rival that of Kuroo himself.
“Wow, so you see me as just your teammate?”
He hadn’t been expecting this, so he suddenly let you go as his face immediately turned flustered. He waved around his arms so frantically that it appeared as if he were doing some strange dance.
“No! You’re my friend! Wait, that sounds wrong too… You’re my best friend!”
“Isn’t that supposed to be Kenma’s job, though? Does that mean I’m more than a best friend as well?”
At this point, Kuroo looked just about ready to short circuit. You were enjoying every moment that you got to see him transform from a scheming genius to a babbling maniac.
However, you didn’t want Kuroo’s brain to actually stop working, so you granted him mercy by shifting the topic to a more somber concern.
“Since you’re also, you know… Did you ever tell your parents? Are they LGBTQIA-phobic too?”
Kuroo turned back to normal and scratched his chin in thought for a moment, and then shrugged.
“I mean, they can be scary as hell, so I thought they were… But when I did finally tell them, they kind of just went ‘Yeah, we know. Just remember to use protection.’”
The bluntness from such a reaction made you chuckle. A small hope ignited in your heart.
“Maybe if I tell them how I feel, I can get them to change?”
Just to confirm this, you turned to Kuroo for encouragement.
“So you’re saying that… even if I think that my parents might not be accepting, I should give it a go anyway?”
He put his hands on his hips, taking the proud stance that he was notorious for, yet still looking at you with an encouraging glance.
“It’s your choice, but I don’t remember ever teaching my team to be afraid of anything… It’s your life, so you have to have the courage to stand up for yourself. You especially don’t want to have weak knees in front of your own damn parents!”
These words were all you needed to make you think that maybe everything would be okay, and you felt your heart beat with a fondness for Kuroo that you’d never truly felt for anyone before, not even your puppy love crushes in childhood.
The thing was, you could have sworn you felt Kuroo’s heartbeat in the air the same way.
“What are you looking at me for? Go home and do it already!” You could tell he was getting all shy again.
And with that, you turned around and sprinted off back home.
Yet, as he watched you fade off into the distance, he couldn’t help but feel some gut instinct gnaw away at his conscience.
“Shit, why do I feel like I said something terribly wrong?”
By the time you arrived back, the sky had dimmed to give way to the evening. The first thing you did when you walked inside was greet your parents more cheerily than usual to set a good atmosphere, and observed their faces.
Oddly, they seemed to be in a good mood. They weren’t even having an argument. Your mom simply made small talk about various matters to your dad, who nodded along in agreement, as she welcomed you to the dinner table.
“You’re back a bit early.” Your mom hummed cheerily.
“Oh, practice got out earlier than usual today.”
“That’s nice, then.”
“You’re also in a much better mood than usual. It’s been a long time since you’ve spent time together with us like this, kiddo.” Your dad added in a tone of approval as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading.
You decided to take advantage of the positive notes that had been set. You inhaled and exhaled as deeply as you could to calm your shaky nerves.
It was now or never.
“Mom, dad, can I tell you something…?”
“Mhm. What’s up?”
Your mom turned around, still multitasking her miscellaneous chores around the kitchen. Your dad’s attention was piqued too, but he was still half focused on the newspaper himself.
“I think I like multiple genders!” You heaved out in a louder than expected tone.
Both your parents immediately dropped what they were doing. Both pairs of eyes fell on you, with an expression that made it look like you had just confessed to committing arson on the school and getting expelled.
“Kids these days! It must be one of those new trends or phases, right?”
Your dad nervously attempted to laugh off, and you could tell that he was hoping to whatever twisted version of God he must believe in that that was actually the case.
However, it very much was the opposite.
“No, it’s not a phase, dad… This is who I am…” Your voice began to shake and drop to a nervous whisper. This was already starting to go down south, but there was no turning back.
“I knew that the internet was brainwashing kids into this filth, but I never thought you would be one of them! We raised you to be better than this!”
Your mom’s voice immediately began cranking up the dial further and further with anger and hatred.
“I’m not brainwashed, mom! Why is it so wrong for me to just be who I am?”
It was clear that your mom wasn’t going to back down from her stance, even though this was her own child, so two could play at this game, you thought.
“How many times do we have to tell you? There are only men and women, and God only wants one man, and one woman! Anything other than that is disgraceful, filthy, and–“ Your mother argued back, only to be cut off by you.
“Fuck you and your stupid ideas about God! I’m not even hurting anyone, so why do you guys always have to be so hateful when all we want is love?”
You knew that your rage-filled tone and your words were the very textbook definition of disrespect, but you couldn’t take it anymore. More than ever, you were confronted face on with the reality that your parents were never, ever going to change after all.
You began to see red, but just as you were about to double down, you were snapped back by a painful sting to the face.
Your dad stood towering above you, having just slapped you square on the face. The force was so great that you came tumbling to the ground, your butt making a painful impact against the hardwood floor.
“Fucking deviants like you should just burn in hell.”
He spat this out in a tone so cold it seemed to freeze the air around you. As you looked up at him like a deer in headlights, he simply looked down upon you with an expression that was utterly devoid of any semblance of mercy.
Everything hurt, and in that moment, you wanted nothing more than to curl up in a hole and disappear forever.
Although your thoughts were in absolute overdrive right now, one thing was sure– it was not safe to be here anymore.
Mustering up whatever little strength you had left, you scurried and limped towards the door like an injured, helpless little animal.
“And don’t you dare come back!” Your father yelled after you, still feeling absolutely zero remorse.
As soon as you stepped outside, a burst of chilly wind hit you with a force that felt like another slap in the face.
You hid behind another house that was a safe distance away. You didn’t really care to know your neighbours, but no one was home, so you could at least be confident that no one was going to surprise you.
As you slumped down against the wall, the reality of what had happened began to hit you.
You had just been kicked out of your own home. You could expect yelling, you could expect bigotry, but this was the absolute worst case scenario, and you never thought it could be real.
And yet, it was all happening. All at once. Your parents didn’t love you anymore, and you had nowhere to go.
The uncertainty of what could happen, as long as the icy cold that began to make you shiver uncontrollably, prompted you to curl up into a ball and sob a stream of tears.
“It’s all my fault… I should have kept my mouth shut…”
Still, even though it was Kuroo who had encouraged you to come out, you didn’t blame him in even the slightest bit.
“Kuroo will be so disappointed in me… He was so confident in me, and yet I failed…”
As the graveness of your situation continued to set in, your fingertips and toes started to go numb. You hadn’t even had the chance to pull on a jacket on your way out of the heated environment of your house.
The tip of your nose also turned red from the biting cold, as your only protection was your T-shirt and shorts– the worst possible dressing for the weather.
It was indeed tempting to give up and fall asleep on the icy grass, but another realisation made you fight tooth and nail to keep your eyes open– if you fell asleep in this weather, your life itself would be at risk, and there was no certainty that you would even wake up.
Your choices grew slimmer and slimmer the more you thought about it, but throughout your thought process, one subject ringed repeatedly in your mind.
“Could I go to Kuroo’s house…?”
From the few times you had visited Kuroo’s house with your team, you vaguely remembered that his house was only a few blocks away from yours. It was a risk to go when you were in this state, and you didn’t want to burden him either, but this was a matter of life or death.
You tried to recall to mind a house number, but failed. The only concrete memory of Kuroo’s house that you had was that it was a different colour exterior than the houses around it, so if you were lucky enough to come across it, you would know.
With this extremely limited knowledge in your hands, you took off walk-running in a vague direction. You would normally had no problem running for a few blocks, but the cold battled you for power over your legs.
As you went further and further, your shivering became more profound, but you had to power through. The moment you would collapse unconscious, it would all be over.
With these high stakes sending your adrenaline rushing to an all-time high, you forced yourself to keep going. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that the physical activity warmed your body even nearly enough to make a difference.
Even when your vision started to blur in and out, even when every muscle in your body begged for mercy, even when your knees started to buckle beneath you, you summoned up every last bit of determination you had.
Just as the dizziness was becoming too much, you finally spotted that house that stood out from the rest. You finally relaxed your body, legs like jelly as you approached the door and weakly rang the doorbell.
Your knees finally gave way, and you fell to their level in front of the door, silently praying that someone, anyone would be home.
However, even despite these circumstances, your heart still yearned for Kuroo above all else.
Inside, Kuroo’s mom started at her son in some frustration, watching him pick at his food with a fork.
“Right then, so are you going to tell me why you aren’t scarfing down your food faster than a competitive eater like you usually do, or will I have to interrogate you until you fess up and tell me what the hell is wrong?”
Kuroo didn’t know how to explain the situation to his mom, and even if he wanted to, his worries for you completely robbed him of any ability to find the right words.
He mumbled under his breath, continuing to push uneaten food around his plate.
“I really fucked up…” Those were the only words that reached his mom’s ears.
It wasn’t the usage of a swear word that concerned her, it was the fact that this was extremely uncharacteristic for someone as self-confident as him.
She opened her mouth to request him to elaborate, but she was interrupted by a very faint version of the doorbell’s ring.
A gut feeling suddenly rushed to Kuroo, making him jump up to get the door so fast that even his usually unwavering mom yelped in surprise.
As Kuroo fumbled to get the lock open with shaky hands, she thought to herself,
“It can’t be his dad… He’s still at work, so who’s come at this hour that’s made Kuroo so riled up?”
She stood from a distance, watching as the door swung open. She couldn’t see who it was from here, but she froze when she heard Kuroo’s breath immediately become panicked.
You could barely form words at this point, as Kuroo crouched down to behold what had happened to you with horror.
Your breathing was visibly laboured, you were on the verge of losing consciousness, and as he reached out a shaky hand to touch you… that skin of yours was so freezing cold that he retracted his hand immediately.
“Shit, shit, shit!” He repeatedly cursed in a whispery tone.
Just as had happened to you, all Kuroo’s worst fears were coming true as well.
He shook your shoulder in an attempt to make you more awake, and when it was apparent that this was doing nothing, he scooped you up in his arms with ease. He took a few steps into your house and shut the door immediately, so that the heating system could begin to warm you.
Gazing upon your weak, freezing body, he couldn’t hold back the tears that stung at the corners of his eyes.
“Fuck, baby… this is all my fault…”
He ignored the obvious fact that this could be interpreted as a love confession. That was the last thing on his mind now. All that mattered in every inch of his instincts right now was doing everything in his power to fix what he had broken.
Kuroo’s mom still couldn’t see you from where she was standing, so judging from the baby talk, she assumed that Kuroo had found an injured stray cat.
Imagining that she would see a small pet, this finally made her rush forward to approach Kuroo.
When she saw that the ‘baby’ in question was a human, and a human she recognised from photos of Kuroo’s team, her heart dropped straight down.
Kuroo clutched you close to counter your condition with his body warmth, pleading with every ounce of his heart for you to stay.
“Don’t fall asleep, please… Damn it, I need you! Remember what I said earlier? I know you’re a fighter, so please don’t give up on me now…”
Although you were still somewhat awake, his words couldn’t fully reach your ears. All you felt was a strange sense of warmth, that made you feel safe for the first time that evening.
Meanwhile, his mom made a mad dash, practically turning the house upside down as she frantically searched for the warmest blankets they had.
All the while, she shouted in confusion repeatedly at the top of her lungs,
“Dear goodness! What in the name of the heavens could have happened to this poor child!?”
When she found a few blankets that she deemed satisfactory enough, she tossed them in Kuroo’s direction, and he caught them swiftly.
He made quick work of wrapping you up in a bundle tightly enough to be comforting, but also with a gentleness which ensured that the warmth would not suffocate you.
“Now what are you standing there like a statue for? Go to your room and tuck the kid into your bed to warm them up!”
Kuroo rarely agreed with his mom, but he had to admit, that sounded like a good idea.
‘Tender’ was about the last word that anyone would use to describe Kuroo. Yet, as he tucked you into bed, the tenderness of the way he snuggled you in reached your heart far before the actual sensations of warmth did.
He crouched down next to the bed, clutching your hand hopefully, praying that this would work and you wouldn’t have to be admitted to hospital.
Even though he hadn’t heard a word from you yet, he never stopped whispering encouraging sweet nothings into your ear.
As your skin grew warmer to the touch and your eyes opened to their regular degree of wideness, Kuroo sighed with a relief so strong that it was palpable.
“Thank goodness…”
You grew more aware of your surroundings. The room was entirely unfamiliar to you, but somehow, Kuroo’s presence made the atmosphere welcoming.
The first thing you did as you startled back to normal was look down at where yours and his bodies were joined by your hands. You then looked up at Kuroo’s face, which was tear-stained, but also had an ear-to-ear smile as he saw that your gaze was no longer empty.
It took your brain a few moments to recall what had happened and what was happening right now fully, but once everything registered, overwhelming emotions returned once again.
You felt mortified at the mere thought of your parents. You felt gratitude that you were still alive. You felt a sense of security with Kuroo by your side. You felt guilt because, in your view, you were still only bothering him.
You hyperventilated slightly, distressed tears streaming down your face. Kuroo retracted his hand, believing that he was the one who had done something wrong with you.
Rather, it was quite the opposite. All you wanted in that moment was him.
“Please, Kuroo, just… hug me.” You mumbled in a daze.
That was the only confirmation he needed, and he threw his arms around you. The comfort that his embrace provided validated everything that was going on in your head right now, and choked sobs escaped your throat.
Never once did Kuroo tease you for crying, and he didn’t utter a word about it either. You were of far more worth to him than acting cool ever was.
He knew that the best thing he could do in this situation was to simply be there. He rubbed your back soothingly as his grip on you grew tighter, listening to your cries patiently.
“I’m sorry for causing this. I love you.”
He knew it was crazy to confess his love for you at a time like this, but at this moment, he was letting his heart speak the words that his rationale couldn’t find.
He didn’t care if you loved him back or not, as long as he could make you at least a little bit happier.
His mouth widened slightly with surprise as you jerked up to look at him more directly.
“I love you too…”
The way you had made him hilariously blushing back at the gym had returned with full force. It made you smile, albeit small, for the first time since you were kicked out.
As much as you wanted to continue professing your love and eliciting these reactions from him, you were still too weak to do so. Once again, you shifted to talk about something else.
“You don’t have to be sorry, Kuroo… If anything, this was my fault.”
The moment you said these words, he grabbed your shoulders, the determination in his eyes burning into your soul.
“Hey, even if you don’t want me to take it, don’t you dare blame yourself for any of this. If I make you feel guilty, I’ll never forgive myself.”
His words were sharp, but you could tell that he was being dead serious. His sincerity washed away some of your worries, as you comfortably leaned on his shoulder.
“Well… Do you mind telling me what the ‘this’ we’re talking about is?”
Your safety had been very much threatened, so as much as he wanted to reveal more of his lovey-dovey side to you, he needed to address the elephant in the room.
Recounting your experience so soon brought back stress again as you relived the memories, but Kuroo was not letting go of you, as he gently encouraged the bravery he knew you had inside you.
“I told them… They cursed at me and told me to go to hell… Then they slapped me to the ground and kicked me out, that’s why I ran away here…”
As you detailed what your parents had done to you, you felt Kuroo stroke your hair faster. This was his way of trying to hold back the way his blood was boiling with anger and rage towards two people who he regarded as absolute monsters for daring to lay hands on you.
“How the fuck can anyone in their right mind do that to their child?” He seethed through clenched teeth.
You wanted revenge just as much as he did, but you didn’t want anger to consume him, not after he had gone out of his way for you.
A couple of ways to calm him down drifted through your head, and you somehow went with the most shocking of them.
You leaned up towards his face, and pecked him on the lips. However, you had intended this little kiss to land on his cheek.
When you moved back again and saw how over the moon yet bewildered Kuroo’s expression was, your cheeks turned red as you realised what you had actually done.
“Wait, I didn’t mean to–“
Before you could apologise, Kuroo pulled you in to kiss you on the lips softly and lovingly. It didn’t last for more than a couple of seconds, and even still, you felt that your very two souls had grown a connection to each other.
Kuroo’s thumb cupped your red cheek, and he smiled coyly as he continued to elaborate on what he felt towards you.
“You can stay here as long as you need. That way, I can stay by your side and make extra sure no one has the audacity to hurt you ever again.”
Your lips opened to protest, but Kuroo swiftly put a finger on them to hush you.
“I know what you’re going to say, but don’t. There’s nothing you can ever do to make me think even for a second that you’re a burden. You mean the world to me, and I’m not saying that to bullshit you– I truly mean every word.”
“Thank you…” That was all you could whisper back.
As the real extent of his love began to get through to you, it made your heart swell with a joy that finally made you feel at home.
The sound of blaring sirens approaching made both of your heads turn. The window in the room had been glazed over with the cold.
Nonetheless, the characteristic red, white, and blue blurry hues of police car sirens were very much visible as they rushed by, disappearing just as quickly.
Kuroo covered your ears to protect you from the piercing noise. You already knew what those sirens meant, and he knew that you knew, but he wasn’t going to spare any precaution to protect you from further harm.
“My mom’s been working behind the scenes, hasn’t she?” Kuroo chuckled.
He was right. She overheard Kuroo raging after you had confessed to being kicked out and abused, and she wasn’t having any of it. She phoned the police, and even though she didn’t know where you lived, she kept yelling at them until they agreed to go find them anyway.
When the sirens weren’t as loud anymore, Kuroo uncovered your ears, still hugging you close. You looked at him fondly, and he continued to snuggle your head protectively on his chest, peppering the top of your head with kisses now that he knew you loved him back.
With the background noise of the fading sirens, Kuroo whispered into your ear,
“I want you to know that you never have to stop loving… You’ll be safe here, and I promise that.”
#writing requests#writing prompt#haikyuu#haikyuu ships#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo tetsurou#can you tell im obsessed#fic prompt#coming out#hurt/comfort#multisexual#fandom ships#haikyuu fanfiction#writers on tumblr#writeblr#fanfics#pls like#pls read#pls rb <3#pls send requests#requests are open#long post#lgbtqia#lgbtq#bisexual#pansexual#queerphobia
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Rewatching this scene and finally understanding (maybe??) what's going on in it.
So in this scene (episode 5), Jongwoo just confronted one of his neighbours about breaking into his room. Afterwards, he followed Moonjo upstairs for a talk, and started (that's where the video begins) explaining why he believes that the neighbour broke into his room. Moonjo confirms that everyone that lives in the studio is a bit strange, and after agreeing that Jongwoo was justified in his actions by saying he'd do the same, he asks him:
You really wanted to kill the man back there, didn't you?
He proceeds to explain why Jongwoo would feel like killing his neighbour, before continuing with this (the '/' is to indicate different translations):
You think you don't fit in here, right?
You think you are different from these people.
But you're also scared/actually, you're anxious, right?
You're worried you'll end up like these people/become like one of them.
You must be afraid that just by living here you might become just as weird/Aren’t you already becoming like these people just by living here?
But don't worry.
You are different from these people.
Because you can do whatever you want whenever you want.
Okay maybe I'm the only one who didn't understand that last sentence the first time I watched it :'), but here's my interpretation now.
In the whole speech, Moonjo makes a distinction between Jongwoo and the people that live in this building. Earlier on, he also established that he is closer to Jongwoo than the others (because he would 'do the same if I were you', he can understand his behaviour), and he also considers himself as different from the others (somewhat), because he can also do whatever he wants whenever he wants.
For example: that dude in episode 1-2 couldn't kill the cop, just because he felt like it.
But Moonjo can kill Jongwoo's boss and a journalist.
The twins have to clean up.
Moonjo makes them do that, instead of doing it himself.
And Mrs. Eom and the man in room 313 can't kill people when they want to either: even if they are frustrated because of it, and act as if they have somewhat of a control on him (Mrs. Eom saying she'll add lots of MSG to the food as revenge, and room 313 suggesting killing him), at the end of the day, he still has control over them.
So the building is divided between Jongwoo and his neighbours, those who have control (can do what they want whenever they want) and those that don't.
Here, Moonjo is implying that Jongwoo can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and that he is different from the other tenants: he is not under Moonjo's control.
The way I see it, Moonjo's statement is kind of a very broad 'you should do whatever you want (kill that guy, kill people) because you are able to (you are not limited by me)'.
However to me, it sounds like he's lying again. Because Jongwoo cannot do whatever he wants. He cannot leave, Moonjo makes him come back. And when he does kill, it's after Moonjo gave him an ultimatum: you kill them, so I don't kill you. While at that point, Jongwoo does say that he'll kill them all, until then, he never actually stated (as far as I remember) that he wanted to kill them all (he says 'I wish they'd all die' (which isn't exactly 'I want to kill them'), and the only person he really threatens is room 313).
So in my opinion Moonjo's ultimate wish was for Jongwoo to want to kill, and to have the freedom to do so. By stating 'you're different, you can do whatever you want', he's making a difference between Jongwoo and the other neighbours, including his first failed attempt. In the end, Moonjo's wish is to have somewhat of an equal, who will have the same limitations as him -none-, but, in order to get that, he forcibly restrains Jongwoo's free will.
I have no idea what I just said.
#seo moonjo#yoon jongwoo#strangers from hell#hell is others#i have no idea what any of that means but it made sense when i started writing#and then it didn't#analysis#pls feel free to give your opinions if u understand any of it
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Not people saying Frans is a proship but Pomni x Jax, Stolas x Blitz, whatever Belle has going on with her beast, Hades x Persephone, JFK x Joan of Arc, and I don't even want to touch on what's seemingly happening with Murder Drones, are completely free of such "critism".
And then people will scream "proships?? How????? I ship then and they're fine!" As if "proship" is only used as an insult against a ship someone doesn't like via the twisted bullshit made up definition. How do the ships above qualify as "proship" material? Simple!
Read below if you give a shit about my rambling ⬇️
Pomni x Jax could be seen as abusive. Jax actively looks for ways to hurt others, especially physically!!! Including Pomni, whom he used as a tight rope and threw things at. Furthermore, if you want to be weird about it, you could argue its beastality because one is a damn rabbit and the other a human. Do I believe it is? Fuck no. But antis are desperate creeps. Not to mention when some people claimed it was pedophilic because they saw Pomni as an underage child. Not to mention you could bullshit into saying they have a power dynamic because Jax has a key to everyone's room therefore holds power over them. And Jax is just general self-destructive as hell and does not care if it affects others.
Stolas x Blitz is the most self explanatory of romanticised abuse. Stolas is literally royalty and a cry baby who victim blames himself despite him having power and blackmailing in the relationship. Then guilt trips some more because hell yeah. Let's fucking burn this house down. Blitz has actively shown to be scared, uncomfortable, or even outright reject Stolas' advancements only to be told he's the bad guy for falling into some bullshit stockholm syndrome where he's terrified to leave
Belle is 17 in the movie, Beast is 21 or so estimatedly. That's 4 year age gap but people LOVE calling pedophilia and grooming at any character below 18 regardless of the ACTUAL age gap. Beastality. And everyone knows of the stockholm. Her own father was taken from her and held hostage until she traded her own freedom for her parent. She was locked in his castle against her will because the man wanted to attempt to clumsily win her hand in order to be human again. She was cut off from the outside world, loved ones, only speaking to people who actively supported and even aided her capture. When she was let go, she was given a magic mirror to watch the beast sulk in sadness for the rest of eternity (if it wasn't to drive the plot forward, that would be caused her serious guilt and self loathing) and even when freed she could not stay away. So that's bullshit "pedophilia", power imbalance, family held captive, a human with an oversized dog, and imprisonment to create an arguably "problematic" and "toxic" relationship
Hades and Persephone is more stockholm. Hades kidnapped and forced Persephone to marry him at the age of believed 19-20. And you can believe Hades is much older. He took her from her mother and her life prancing around flowery fields, instead dragging her to the underworld where this goddess associated with life is surrounded by death. Isolated her. She could only see her mother in, I believe, the spring. Not to mention. Isn't Hades her uncle?
JFK literally Spends the entire first season (I didn't watch past, fuck that) sexualizing women for sex. He berated Joan at best and only tried being nice to her when she was "hot" at worst. When Joan was all sad about Abe not loving her, JFK comes in to say he's "always" thought she was pretty just to get in her pants. Nothing about it was genuine. He used her for his own gain. And she arguably used him without considering his feelings to make Abe jealous. Nothing about either of their sides is healthy
That is not to say I look at all those ships and think of the worst in them. I actively love some of those that I critiqued, I don't care if another person loves it either. All I care about is the intention behind someone who ships because we don't always see things the same way and I hate the term "proshipping", it is such a brainless black and white desperate insult.
Oh I'm so sorry you see these characters in some sick, gross way. Allow me to suggest: keep walking and minding your own business? Accepting that others have different opinions from you and that's okay? You can still be friends with someone who has different character headcanons than you? To not be hateful and bitter and look for every opportunity to attack someone who's different from you? To not force your arguably gross views that are not canon between two characters onto other people?
It was nice talking, I'd love to see you again when we've both matured more in life <3
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I borrowed these from my friend! I've been watching "Everyone come here please! Prism☆Tours" , "King of Prism by Pretty Rhythm" , "KING OF PRISM -PRIDE the HERO-" this month.
(unfortunately, i forget order in which i was watched) Hi! I'm Ham's servant. I'm sure Kazuki would say : "FREEDOM! it's okay to make mistakes when you learning English" . *1
i saw Laala saying "YES(hai)" NOT "KASHIKOMA" and it made me laugh. please. . . KASHIKOMA surprisingly, but Aloma was very low voice that time. she really look like someone who the "chuunibyou(厨二病)" character. i wonder because maybe her voice actor recorded voice in the middle of 1st season. perhaps character's setting of attention to detail hadn't been determined at that point (?)
let me talk about KinPri. (** not includes spoilers in this post** ) even more i watched up to 2 episodes of "KING OF PRISM -Shiny Seven Stars-" last week. that was great, and I couldn't resist starting continue today! btw when i watched KING OF PRISM -Dramatic PRISM.1- at that time (September 6th) i don't know the general flow of the series of whole very well i'm pretty sure that time was when i watched until half episode of RL.
however I was told by friends to "of course i think you can enjoy the latest installment even if you watch without knowing the whole story! that's because awesome works!" haha
somehow, i was astounded by HIRO's change than other prism stars or anything else. he used to have a very difficult personality and often bothered people around him, including Koji, right? to be honest, my interest in this is the same as when I was following SHO's activities before. because of his change, i found myself looking forward to seeing how HIRO would grow in RL. (i already watched that until the end but I don't know why i felt this way from that time)
However, they has made a striking impression on me by changing so much. . . now they are the completely different person, right? this is not "oshi(推し)" as when I was keeping an eye on Mirei, Falulu, Hibiki, and Shuka activities before. it's hard to put into words. (maybe this is lil different what i wish to mean because i don't have enough English proficiency.)
in either case, i was unwittingly drawn into the narrative and that movie make to oddly mysterious and large impact in a good way. i thinking i'd like write something my impressions but i can't make up my mind which one to how word choose. sometimes i think i don't understand something at the time, but surely then i realize to get many things later that i do after watched works.
i want enough time to read this official setting book for KinPri for that was released in July 2016. \idol time is money/ from what i heard, this book hasn't includes little new information and not includes spoiler because to announced 1st work of the whole series. (but I don't pay too much attention to about spoiler)
WOOOO the more i write text the less i understand multiple language become like puzzle to me. i'll write my impressions soon in Japanese. (i'm having a hard time because my arms always have pain for the past half year. . .)
*1 however i can't understand well such as the difference in nuance between freedom / free and liberty. Probably Kazuki can possible to tell me the difference among these words. but i'm not yumejoshi haha that's balderdash. . .
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15 lines of dialogue
Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!
tagged! by @dragonologist-phd like ten thousand years ago! (i didn't forget or deliberately shun you i promise, i'm just very very forgetful and tired all the time ♡) and more recently by @solas-backpack-mug for the same thing! i've been thinking of re-editing and possibly continuing Anthem Infinitum, my PoE1 novelization starring Best Girl and the Gods' Favorite Punching Bag Axa Mala, so honestly this prompt couldn't have come at a better time. here's her Greatest Hits:
all of these quotes are from Anthem Infinitum, because my other fics don't feature her as prominently (if at all). i may have goofed up some of the formatting somewhere between copy and paste. [...] indicates excised surrounding narrative text.
1. "I lost my academic standing, my career, my… everything. So now I'm here. Because it was this or killing myself, and with my luck that would probably just piss off Berath."
2. "No need for thanks. Couldn't leave another kith outnumbered like that. Wasn't right." [...] "Could have done without the extremely blatant goading, though, friend."
3. "Excellent. I was worried I looked like a weird asshole for a minute there."
4. "…I don't know if that's the best or the worst mixed metaphor I've ever heard."
5. “Knowledge seeks freedom, we say in Ixamitl, and the freer I can make it, the better.”
6. "Ha! Since becoming a Watcher with her own castle who offers to help everyone she meets solve all their problems, I do seem to be quite popular, yes," [...] "…I jest, of course. In any case, the friends I do make, I tend to keep. And cherish."
7. "Never tell me how to feel, Kana, never again. Or by the Beast, I'll show you fucking hostile."
8. "Smells like a kraken took a shit out here and died," [...]
9. "I may be forgiving, but the Doemenels aren't. He sticks around too much longer, they're gonna 'stick' him."
10. "'Trust is a double-edged sword, gift and burden both to friends and allies.' My father taught me that one."
11. "Can I please just go put some gods damned pants on," [...]
12. "Don't go around pinning all your trust on any one person or institution completely, Aloth. Not even me. You'll regret it, trust me."
13. "I don't need to be coddled, Aloth," [...] "What I need is to quit moping and get off my ass so I can actually do something that at least makes me feel like I still have a little control over my life."
14. "I wonder– will it piss off the gods, do you think, ruining two priests' days in a row like that?"
15. "You may be content to issue Hollowborn until your shriveled womb drops out of your skirts," [...] "but I will not permit you to stand between these people and the truth!"
and That's Our Axa! ™️
thus far, her alternate dimension counterpart/ex-fiance Vaargys has exactly one (1) written line of dialogue, so we will be skipping him. i plan on featuring him prominently in flashbacks during Axa's time in the White March, which will probably be the next six or seven chapters of Anthem Infinitum, so look forward to it! ♡
#pillars of eternity#watcher axa#thanks for tag ♡#i'm particularly proud of the wordplay in line no. 9#boy axa's kind of a potty mouth huh?
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