#There is a chance I am a tiny bit gay for this girl

[mushroominaforest]

A painting I did of my friend! (Acrylic on wood)

[palskippah]

Hellowi pretty people I come over to ramble about random Nimona projects and stuff bc I'm excited about them but nothing's finished

I'm writing a short thing for fun with the idea of Ambrosius getting hearing loss because of the explosion that made Nimona and the laser and I'm listening to songs to see if I get inspo for the title (so far the doc is called 'Ambrosius gets hearing damage' but that's not cool JSKSHD), and listening to Mistki I was like omg a fic called Why Not Me. But then I was like omg a fic regarding Nimona and her monster form with the title 'I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down' but then I was like no omg what about a fic about comic goldenheart with the title 'I always want you when I'm finally fine'

I have no idea what qualifies as a good lyrics title but I think they work

And I literally have no ideas besides a phrase and the vibes for it, and still got no title for the temporarily deaf Ambrosius thing but it's so fun to do this sjdkdj (also, I really like the headcanon of him getting permanent but parcial (?) hearing loss on the ear that was closest to the explosion, it makes sense) (also I've experienced some partial hearing loss (?) at some point earlier this year and it's just so not fun to go through that bc people get very mad at you when you need them to repeat themselves more than twice and ask them to be louder pipipi anyways everything keeps happening around him and Ambrosius doesn't catch half of it and he feels a bit too helpless and scared of not hearing again but it works out in the end (more or less))

I see why everyone always picks lyrics as title names they're so coolest also mistki's songs are so good 😔🙏 they make me sad and happy at the same time sjddj

Another thing that has a long way to go and I'm trying to find a title for is an au of the gay dads au with mpreg where Ballister is from the beginning Nimona's dad and Ambrosius is that ex that by chance slowly makes his way back to his life and accidentally becomes Nimona's stepdad (like in Look Who's Talking? I think sjdkdj) also Meredith's there and she's cool and doing her own thing, I'm glad I read the comic bc I changed her relationship with Ballister in the fic and I think it works better with his decisions and motivations and all that stuff

(in my head it's very epic but to you it may seem like anything JSKDH)

Ballister is not really having a good time (lonely, unsure about his decision, scared and stuff, especially when he has to have her) but he has his good moments, promise. Also he hugs Meredith and she pats his back awkwardly like in the comic, at some point

Also as soon as Ballister finds out that Nimona's a girl he gets many very pink clothes pipipi Ambrosius gets him pink stuff for her too bc he sees any cute baby clothes or accessories and he's like hey I bet Ballister would like this for his baby :) and buys it

Nimona doesn't like him much when she's born, and he's like aw c'mon :( I bought you so many gifts pipipi I helped fold your tiny little clothes that one time !! (Ballister points out that he had done a very shitty job at it and Ambrosius shushes him, covering Nimona's ears)

ALSO

I'm drawing stuff for a TikTok post about mpreg but for comic goldenheart and trying to make the comic plot fit into it and it's so silly bc they have nothing to do with one another.

Ambrosius and Ballister don't beat the shit out of each other at the bar but Ballister goes away all angrily while Ambrosius walks behind him going Ballister I'm not done talking to you !!! >:(

And Ballister's like I am !! >:( and then there's another drawing of him leaning against a wall with one hand going damnit because he overworked himself, and Ambrosius going all *touching his hands together nervously* do you need to sit down :(? And Ballister going ...no. fuck off.

Also Nimona telling him to just abort that thing when he first told her (and he hadn't known yet what to do about it), and then when Cyrus' born he's staring angrily at her (he's not, he's just newly born and scrunched) and Nimona's like, holy shit boss, he remembers 😟 and Ballister's like, ?? How's he gonna remember, he doesn't even know you.

Also Ballister getting sad about the discussion at the bar and Nimona cheering him up with the science fair, but him going this won't trick anybody, look at me😔 *gestures to his pregnant self* and Nimona's like, nah boss you just look like you got a beer gut, it'll work. How they manage to run away from the guards/knights and all that when Nimona's stuck in cat form, that's not my business 🧐

Also Cyrus is born sometime before the whole Ballister freaking out about Nimona's powers, so he's somewhere in the kingdom being babysat by a nice older lady or something when Nimona's part is destroying everything. Or maybe he's just peacefully sleeping very far away in the lair and Ballister goes around the whole thing with a baby monitor, whichever option works. (Neither does 😭)

So yeah yippie I wanna post this stuff but nothing's finished pipipi 😔

[valyrfia]

ok out of all the f1 wags who would you want to chat up the most because for me that's 100% kika gomes, that woman can ruin me and i would thank her

Only form of WAG discourse I will entertain on here. I'll give you a top 5. Please remember this is subjective and literally just fun based off of the tiny bit we know about them. I am not pitting one against the other, I just think all of them should dump their loser boyfriends and date each other (and me) but without further ado:

5. Carmen Mundt Gorgeous and intelligent woman who isn't afraid to be vulnerable on socials and carries herself in a way that is so goddamn attractive. Only issue is she intimidates me and I would probably regress and be far too shy to go talk to her in the first place.

4. Heidi Berger So....*twiddles thumbs*. I am learning Portuguese for homosexual reasons currently, but I did watch a good portion of Onde Está Elisa because Heidi Berger is in it...not my finest moment in my gay career.

3.Kika Gomes Kika I need a chance. Just one chance. It was pointed out for me that her mother is even more drop dead gorgeous, an insane family, face cards have NEVER declined. She is definitely settling in her current relationship and I need to say this with such emphasis.

2. Alexandra Saint Mleux A lot of this has been covered by me causing discourse by saying Charles is punching, but let's just say I think the first time I ever saw a picture of Alex I audibly gasped I didn't think they made girls that pretty.

1. Lily Zneimer O**** P******....I am WARNING you that if you do not put a ring on it I WILL do it myself. Absolutely drop dead beautiful, and a INSANELY smart and capable woman in STEM. She has my entire heart and it pains me immensely that the most I know about her is the man she's dating.

[incorrect-pipravi]

LauCara (Lauren x Cara) headcanons

Since I finally came out as a LauCara shipper (that’s what I decided to call them) and I’m currently addicted to writing headcanons (because 1. it’s fun and 2. I’m too lazy to write anything else rn) here’s some hcs

Cara had always thought that Lauren was adorable ever since they first met in middle school (I think that’s when they met?), not only was she extremely beautiful and gorgeous, but she had a good personality.

Lauren was sociable, funny, not afraid to show her real emotions or thoughts and very charming. She was a natural attractor of the spotlight.

However, Cara’s crush only started developing into something more than an admiration for a friend when Lauren dyed her hair red and Cara was like “Oh. Oh no.”

Cara had told Naomi immediately, panicking.

“I’ve known her for years, Naomi! She has never expressed an ounce of interest in girls. Oh god. I’m doomed. And she’s my best friend! What will I do?”

“First of all, please stop pacing and take a seat.” Naomi had told her. “Second of all, even I didn’t know that you liked girls until you told me and I’m your older sister. You might have a tiny chance, but still it’s a chance. If she doesn’t then you’ll eventually get over it. And besides you’re totally perfect. Any girl would be lucky to have your attention and love.”

Pip, of course, didn’t need to be told because she noticed the lovesick looks Cara had been giving Lauren when she’s not looking.

“Yeah. You caught me red-handed, Detective Pip. I really like Loz. I’m fucked, am I not?”

Pip had hugged her and told her that whatever she decided to do she’d do about her crush she’ll have her unending support.

Lauren was still oblivious to Cara’s pining and to top it all off, she started dating Tom.

“I’ll never have a chance. I’m truly pathetic.” She had told Pip on the phone whilst crying.

Six months later, she got a call from a crying Lauren and she had immediately left whatever she was doing, bought chocolate and other snacks and headed to Lauren’s house.

After Lauren’s breakup with Tom, Cara was always there with Lauren comforting her and listening to her.

"He made me feel worthless.” Lauren had told her about Tom.

“No. Hey, listen to me.” Cara turned Lauren’s head toward her, made her look into her eyes. “You’re not worthless. You’re the most wonderful girl I know. You’re anything but worthless.”

Something in their relationship shifted. They started spending more time together, especially since Pip was already busy with her EPQ and the boys were still away on summer vacations.

Cara’s presence, her words and her comforting touch became a constant in Lauren’s day.

Lauren started feeling something more for Cara and for a while she wasn’t sure what to do. She had never liked a girl before. This new feeling, it overwhelmed her.

She probably did one of those “am I gay?” quizzes.

Lauren’s mother had been a great help. She had helped her figure out her sexuality (which I hc her as bisexual) as well as aided her in accepting this new part of her identity and gave her some great relationship advice.

“Listen to me, my love. I know that all of this is overwhelming to you and I’m not saying that you have to go and tell everyone, but what I’m trying to say is that you should consider telling Cara about your feelings or else you might end up regretting it.”

“But what if she doesn’t like me and it makes things awkward and then that would mean I ruined our friendship for nothing?”

“Believe me, angel. It won’t ruin anything.” Her mom smiled all knowingly. “I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you. Just give it a shot!”

Lauren tries to do as her mother advised, but she backs down every single time.

Lauren and Cara finally kiss during the calamity party. They’re both a little bit drunk and are having a moment alone and with a drunken fit of courage, things finally work in their favor.

Both of them caught in the moment, leaning slowly towards one another and their lips finally meet.

They both panic and sit in complete silence for a few seconds, searching each other’s eyes for any reaction.

“I- I li-“ Cara takes a deep steadying breath before continuing. “I like you, Loz. I have liked you for a while.”

Cara then watches Lauren’s face for any expression or sign, but she can’t read her emotions very well at that moment and she starts to panic, but before she can do anything Lauren is pressing her lips against Cara’s, again.

“I like you, too.” Lauren whispers against Cara’s lips.

They talk more about it the next morning when they are sober. They decide to start dating, but to keep it a secret for a while until Lauren is ready to come out.

When they tell the group, everyone is happy and is supportive. (Everyone already knew because the couple had been anything, but subtle. Though of course they decided to respect the couple’s privacy and pretended like they didn’t have a clue!)

This is all for now, but I plan on writing more because I really enjoyed writing this!

[funkyfreshman]

Took 400 Millie’s Gramos of gerberts if u will,( this one’s for you Ted 👴) and am rewatching the entirety of httyd shows and all and holy ahit

Will be documenting journey.

Abious spilers:

Took doucuments:

Ep-1

-GOBBER MENTIONED

- Mildred if this show wasn’t stinky fart he would be like STOCKICJ KILL THOSES FUCKING ERAGONS STIDPSUSUDJ STUPID

- I was writing this post during show and kept getting distracted so that’s it lol

-wait no I love stiok he’s a bit stupid but I love he he fix it in the end I’m so happy I love god dads in media

-GOBBER MENTIONED

Ep: 2

-GOBBER MENTION

-WAIT BRO JUST GOT BUNED WITH FIRe and didn’t flinch what

-It’s his gay power✨

- I love my gay sons and lesbian daughter

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-HES BECOME A SALES MAN

-BRO HAS BEEF WITH A 5 YEAR OLD YOUR 150😭😭😭

-his design is peak tho

-mean this in the most Aro of Ace possible hes so sexy

-wait jk

-wait no yeah

-GOD SOM HICUO AWHAIGH AUGH 🤮🤮❤️

-GOBBER EPISODE

-HE JUST CURSED THAT BABY WHAT

-NO MY HEWLTY YAOI IS TOXIC YAOI GOBBBER WRF

-THEY HATE EACH OTHER

-THEY OUTA RHEFE

-WHAT ARE TOU TWO DOUNG

-bro what if she accidentally killed him what are u doing GIRL

-shskajshdhdhd STOICK

-THEY LEFT HIM THERE

-AMONGUS NO AMNONGS NO NO SISBJSXD. KNO ONNO HICCUP U HE SAD HES SHAD AND HA

-hookfang no he bust

-oh cool gratin fight yippee

-snotlout is so upset bonninknn fish I no no gobber fuck off

-he budddy is okay and snotlout is so happy he hsjsjzhdsjs ah

-I FIRGOT HE BECOMES A DENTIST HOLY SHIT

Ep: 3

WHY DID IT ZOOM INTO HIS RITS

-animal trama ep

-TIT SHOT

-again imagine she accidentally killed him

-Bro INTENTIONALITY PULLED HER DOWN THERE WHAT, FRESK

-ew actual romantic relationship

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-WHAT HES A WITCH

-HES A WITCH A WOCTH

-gothi a bad bitch she’s so real, she’s taking no chances

-ew I hate actual romantical relationships ew I hate actual romantical relationships

-exposure therapy

-WAIT THATS SHDJSJKSKS

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOSHLEGS

-oh no his dad trust him so much hiccup I failoror

-THAT SHEEP IS DEAD

-BUCJET NO

-SNITLOUT SHOULD HAVE DIED

-wait they all followed him no questioned no complaints that’s so cute what aughgh 🤮

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-THEY ARE GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH

-WHAT IF YOI KILKED KNE

GOBBER MENTIONED

-THEY ARE GONNA DIE

-TF IS MEATLUG GINNA DO WITH THOSES TONY AH WINGS

-your dragons saved us from literally dying in the fucking cold son

-what

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-funky beat

-funky beat the ending

Ep: 4

-that should have killed snotlout

-what was

-what

-diva

-THE ANIMATION GOT GOOD FOR 3 seconds csahwath

-bad evil tiny dragon

- it’ capable of manipulation

-it’s capable of manipulation

-You stupid cunt dragon

-YOU STUPID CUBT BOY

-sick ass dragon

-they are researchers at the age of 5 what unfair

-he’s emo right now bitch leave him alone

-EVEB THI O HICCUP IS BEINH A STUPID CUNT HE STILL TRIES TO PROTECT HIM, BRUH HICCUP YOU CENUTLY STJPID

-nuh huh bi stjeop stole stk stop stop yoCUEHHEJSBSJWJDHDIHR🤮🤮👎👎👎👹👹👹🔥💥

-Big very scary tree stomping dragon fuck outta here

-yeah u dumb fuck face

-🥸toothless invasive maneuvers

-Tirch is a bith ass hoe

-GIBBER MENTIONED

Ep: 5……I hope

-sick ass beat

-no he jumped

-BRI BRO BRI BRI BRO BRO

-snotlout almost died

-what is this episode

-What the FUCK

-WHY THEY FEET OUT

-What rhe fuck

-GONNER MENTIONED

-SHUT YOUR HE FUCK UP DOKTNSAY

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-WHAT WHAY WHAT WHAT WHAT YOU STUPID FAG

-bro knock

-WHAT FISHLEGS

- “like hello he was trying to be freaky”

WHAT

-as much as it sucks that stoick keeps on going against hiccuob he’s also the CHEIF OF BEEK we know he really really want to support him but again HES THE CHEIF OF BERK his work comabnds a fuck done of people so yeah he wants support him but he can’t

-bro just creamed at the idea what

-BRO HTF IS HWLE GONNA “TAKE CARE OF THE DEGINS “ hE CANRS FUCKING FLY

Z-EHAT WHAT HE LOVES A SHEEP?

-HES A FURRY

What

-bye bye fursona

-that’s the episode.

Ep 6:

-is this the season fanislu?

-this might be the season fanauky?

-ew actual romantical relationship

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-what

- who is this diva

- huge beef with this 5 year old over here

-SHUT THE FUCK UP

-bro probably thought a lot of people were gonna die so he sent hiccup away to like idk like Amongus I had a thought but now it’s gone

- fish legs died

-SHUT UP

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-hot

-hehsshdhddhhdddhdh cute

-I THOUGH HICCUPS SAID SHIT SHIT SHIT it sounded so right

-that was cooo as fuck

No uo stupid cunt

-WHAT FREAK DONT

-this is crazy

-gonner mentioned

-wait the plot thickens

-lmao omg bro does not care about him

-gobber mentioned

-bro 🫢 wtf

-no I almost got shit busy fucking arrows

-actually sick as hell

-HOW IS HE NOT DEAD OH MY GOD

-and fuck ya boat too

Evil guy lives

And get

Get this

Is evil

-your a freaky freak that freaks around my town in your freaky freak freaks suit freaking Al over my unfreajed town

Ep:7

-GOBBER MENTIONED

-ope

-bro had si idea how to ride that dragon like at all

-why is it always there at any time of day what are

-he’s a really good CHEIF he just need to learn to like separate the two but also like not cause a lot of the time it makes sense what he’s doing

-I think stoick needs to reslizr not everyone is like him

-he dead

-kk what

Bro wtf open ur ears

-evil pigs that attack at almost night

-RHY SO MANY

-what m. Stoick did nothing

Ep. 8)

-wait that’s cute

-What is that name

-lGIBBER MENTIONED

-WHAT

AGAT

Wha

What

That so fucking funny hijouhvvshut shut

-I can’t think so more I stop

[cryptometaphor]

Me: Holy shit I need a joooobbbb

Sarah: Babe, it'll be fine. I love you regardless. I'm a communist that'd be pretty hypocritical of me lol

Me: I don't caaaarrrreeeee. I wanna get us marching wedding rings of ruby and sapphire like Pokemon. That'll be our kids names too.

Sarah: That's so sweet lol <3

Me: At the very least right now, I wanna afford to just go to Minissota and we'll make every day the 90s.

Sarah: How?

Me: Well I was thinking we watch movies like Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, and I just hold and touch you the whole time. I don't stop, ever. Ever ever.

Sarah: You've got the love high lol. That's ok I do too. I'm just better at hiding it but I think mine is more intense because you're Mr. Angry nihilist all the time lol.

Me: Oh? Is that a challenge? lol

Sarah: It is. Cause you think you wanna touch me forever? I wanna make you cum till you're whimpering and beging me to stop, but I won't. That body belongs to me. Every bit of your joy is gonna be wrapped around my giant boy-hands as these dumbass terfs say lol.

Me: LOL

Sarah: You laugh now but I'm serious lol

Me: Oh I believe you.

Sarah: I don't care if you do or not. You're mine.

Me: You're mine too Sarah. Always.

Sarah: See, you're still talking. Because you're not laid down and totally at my mercy as my man and only my man. I don't wanna hear about mods or exes. I'm not saying your anger isn't justified, I'm saying I own you and I personally need your body and mind.

Me: You uhh... (Smacks lips) You a bit dominant aren't cha lol

Sarah: NO SHIT lol it scares most guys away. Every guy says they wanna be loved but you're just a tiny bit masculine about your love and ooooh, suddenly you're a psycho bitch.

Me: Oh I love your psycho. Especially when you're threatening other people lol

Sarah: I know you do. And that's why you're gonna be all mine.

Oskar: Jim be careful. Sarah gonna peg you.

Havoc: Assuming she even needs a peg and doesn't have a feminine penis.

Sarah: You two numbskulls had your chance with Jim and wouldn't go along with his schemes.

Havoc: His schemes are stupid.

Me: Fuck you Havoc lol

Sarah: He's mine now. All mine. No cuckold shit. I ain't sharing.

Oskar: I didn't say anything about cuckold but pegging is...

Me: Oskar if I remember correctly, Zyrah said you were...

Oskar: THAT WAS FAKE NEWS AND YOU KNOW IT

Me: Do I? The fact I can believe it lol

Oskar: Well I can believe it about you

Havoc: I wouldn't mind being pegged by a hot girl

Oskar: That's cause you're gay

Me: You do say some pretty gay shit Havoc

Sarah: You're all fucking gay lol. But that's ok so am I. It's just a matter of if the spectrum of gay is compatible.

Havoc: It's not all one big pool of degeneracy?

Oskar: It is

Sarah: It isn't. Jim is the sweetest, most romantic, loving boy ever. You all call it gay, meanwhile Havoc is a furry and borderline pedo.

Me: Borderline? lol

Havoc: stfu Jim

Sarah: You Oskar, are just an angry bath-house gayman. You talk a big game but have swallowed more cock on Grindr than all of us combined and you wear the maga hat while you do it

Me: Gotem. You know Oskar like a book lol

Oskar: This is more fake news by Russia

Sarah: I admit I'm a fucking yandere. I'm a needy bitch and Jim fulfills that need. Only Jim. It could only ever be Jim.

Me: Honey you're so wonderful.

Me: I know you'd never leave me BUT IF YOU DID I am cutting you up into pieces to suck on your appendages and stick them up my twat lol

Oskar: Jesus fucking Christ

Havoc: Jim you need to get the hell outta there

Me: Cowards lol

Sarah: JIM'S A REAL MAN WHO CAN HANDLE A STRONG WOMAN

Havoc: You're not strong, just crazy

Oskar: Crazier than Jim, that's saying a lot

Sarah: Blah blah blah. Incels who ignore my man and don't give him what he wants. What he needs.

Me: I need you.

Sarah: You fucking better cause I need you more lol

Havoc: I take it back. I don't envy Jim.

Oskar: Me either

Havoc: Nigga you've had a wife longer than any of us

[kusundei]

god forbid i just woke up rn but. god. GODDD. god. im actually. still tweaking a little.

NO BECAUSE TODAY WAS SO. SOOOO. I feel crazy. i watched jt happen and goddd god he just always finds more ways to plant himself into my head. more ways to make me fold all the fucking time. more ways to ensure i will be actually infatuated by him and crazy im just soooo. SOOOO. UGHHH.

no cuz he literally. i. i was shaking so so MUCH TODAY he just makes me so nervous. it gets to the point esp in photography where i get nervous knowing im about to see him. THAT CLASS HAS ALWAGS MADE ME NERVOUS BUT NOW ITS JUST. godd. how i would do something. ialways want to do something. ANYTHING. i never really do unless he does it first cuz i am scared and afraid. i hate that ab myself i will. never take initative no matter how madly i want something i am too scared of fucking something ul that i never will do anything for myself. (jd how you would condemn me constantly. how you are a horrible tiny voice in my head reminding me i am not good enough always.) I just. UGH. i want to i always want to. THAT FIRST TIME when i grabbed his hand while walking past him and he literally like. idk how ti explain that but he like. grabbed me back. i. i am fucking WEAK. GOD IM ACTUALLY A WRECK HE JUSTMAKES ME INSANE??? god the way i stood up there smiling like an idiot while that guy talked i. am. i am sososo infatuated with you i cannot. my god and then sitting down. i kept pointing u out to the girl just like. god.

u r the one good actor there idk. heh. GOD. the way she asked me if we were a thing after you came pver the first time oh my GOD OH MT FUCKING GOD. the way you were looking at me. the way you kept smiling at me and when u sat down u laid your head on my leg im. immm. IMMMM. i was shaking. so fucking bad my face I WAS BLUSHING no thank god it was dark because when u ran off i just. put my head in my hand sfor a bit. perchance prompting the gjrl to ask. but god you. you make me. more crazy. fall in love with you more. i. cannot explain it. i just i WANTED TO i truly did god forbid you were standing sitting down there next to me and i just. wanted to touch you somehow. THE WAY I GOT A DUCKING PHOTO TOO im just i am sick i am SICKENNNEDDD i. cant stop thinking about it. i wanted to brush my hand through your hair or something. i. immm. IMMM. god. good. fucking. god. “i can tell from how you look at him” whaaat. WHAAAT. “you look at him and you were smiling the whole time i could tell you were in love with him or just really really gay” like thank you. i am. like. madly i cannot get him oht of my head hes the only thing i think about ever. the way she pointed out my constant giggling and blushing and how id point you out all the time. the way she said she thought we would be cute. yeabim fuckinf SICK

everytime you came back over there i wasnt really trying to ignore her but you just. take up all my attention. you always have all my attention i could stare at you forever but i feel weird jts just. youre so distracting. you are so cute. so. attractive??? you attract me. cloud my thoughts. GOD i wish i took some sort of photos of you today i had good chances but i didnt wanna be weird. but j do have that photo of you laying on me so i digress. im just so. UGH. no u r seriously the cutest thing ever i just. i. iiiii. i cant help it. YOU ARE SO CUTE WITHOUT TRYING TO BE everytime you looked at me i just wanted to freak out i love you. i love your face i love your voice . your mannerisms the way you carry yourself. how you interact with other people the way you laugh. hell even when youre tweaking youre so cute its distracting (sorry.) just i am seriously in love with YOU. everything about you. i genuinely adore you. i still cant believe its like reciprocated im so. baffled? im so used to pinning for someone. or someone pinning for me and i struggle to reciprocate. in a selfish manner that was ayden. pinning with no clear end goal. fun but alsohorrible. sickening. he also ruined me. jd as well. as much as i hate to admit when i first got into a relationship with her would i say i was in love wirh her? no not really. i actually was extremely detached from her it was just that. she was familiar. i knew she wouldnt go. thjs is my evil sam confession of tonight but genuinely i. had gotten wirh her in the most evil way. cuz i was off the rails on medication and delirious and i confessed to her (and 2 other people) on a whim to see what would happen. and j knew she would say yes because icwas fucking evil. do i deny and feelings fr her? no not at all. she became my everything. me being in a relationship with hercaused me to fall in love with her. hard. codependantly. thats why you baffle me. i havent felt this sort of way about anyone thjs quickly and in a long time. this is why i dare compare it to ayden and jd because. jd took time. but god i was inlovelovelove with her. ayden? i was also in love with him. i could compare it slightly closely to me right now ab you but i wasnt this crazy. also my attraction to him i realized qas maybe leaning more on a . physical side? and personality of course aiding his case but i digrees. jd i loved inside out for her. is she pretty? of course. but j never really considered it a factor to anything. bella? i didnt know her irl but i was also in lovelovelove with her and was infatuated but it was her personality that drew me in. its just i mention it sm because like. the way i feel about you is like jd (that sort of love where i loved her so much it made me sick. i wouldve done anything for her and i was in lovelovelove with her because she meant so much to me. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE) but i wasnt pbsessed with her. inever felt like how i did wirh ayden or bella with her. freaking out over snall things. with the other two, focusing on ayden more, i was like. infatuated. felt more like me fiending because i could imagine myself in a relationship with him and such. but it wasnt a lovelove thing. j wouldnt call it that . with you its so. different? i feel weird saying it because it truly does soort of feel like a selfcest thing but i like. i love you unconditionally. i am infatuated by you. i have never loved someone like this before in such a small amount of time let alone thjs strongly. and you just make jt sooo muchhh worse YOY ENABLE ME you make me crazy.

okay no more blabbing about jd and ayden (god.) tday i was just so. sooo. no because when i hadfirst gotten there and was following him around i felt like i was beinf judged. i mean of course like im not there normally but WILL. WIIIILLL. i was scared. also me following yoy into the black box the first time i started freakinf out in my own head becauseof qhat i kept saying before but godforbid i will never initiate anything. i just. iwanted to hold your hand. wanted to hug you. maybe. perchance. oh my GODD your smell its driving me jnsane now also just you in general im noticing mtself fall more in love with your appearance too yoyre jist so, ? CUTE?? i could stare at you forever you r so pretty. yourface i just. ugh. the way u smile the way u talk just everything i am seriously. in love with you. anyway your smell gets stronger everyday and god im trying to act like its not making me insane but it is. it is making me fiend more. YEARN. idk why i have such a weird thing with smell im lkke a dog. but god. GODD. im tweakijg out thinking ab it. when i was walking around stage following you. when i looked at you and you ran off. when you kept getting flustered? embarrassed? because i was looking at you? yeaah. i. IMACTYALLY IN LOVE WIRH YOU AOH MY GOD. i just no i cant. im trying not to mention that maybe i am also falling for youappearance wise cuz to me jts not super important and has never been but its aidinf in my insanity and sorry. heh. the suit. THE SUUUUITTT. i. yeah. makes me crazy. you r just sosoocute i want to stare at you without feeling judged i want to look at yoy forever. just adore you from afar. because i truly do. like ugh. UGHH. you stood so close to me all the time. in the blackbox god sitting there with jamario and will and . i forgother name. but they were all talking to me and ROSZA. i see you. im not blind. but god j felt like they all fuckinf knew. AND BEE. i see you from across the room. its just like oh my goddd. nk because you kept doing that thing to my knee and ugh AAYGHHH OH MY FHCKJNG GOD. i. i. you make me weak. i feel so dumb all the time you MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A GIRL I. GOD. when i grabbed you that time and put ur hands back believe me i wouldnt kept my hands there if i didnt get embarassed and u didnt say anythghinf. cuz oh my god GOD GDGOS. the way you kept freakinf out made me freak out mkre and more in my head i dont know how you do it. idk how you think i don’t reciprocate this and jm not crazy in love with you bcuz i am. im just so. SOOO. UGH. and when u moved to sit next to me and u rested ur head on my shoulder yeah that was my last straw. “youre crazy..” YEAH. YEAAAH. YEAAAAAAH. no i meant that you r crazy. and youre driving me insane. i want to do so many things with u i have so many ideas i am seriously in love with you but this feels like a situation. just a little. god forbid it im njst not the biggest fan of situations with no title to it. god jts entertaining though bht i like that confirmation. the title makes me more comfortable. more likely to do things. but i digress i do anything for you. happily im nusr. AUGH. i eish i stayed for cultural night but we had to go i wish in the car i held your hand or something nobody wouldve seen anyway im just. IM STJLL THINMING ABOUT IT i miss your smell. i miss your touch your hands r SO SOFT? IM? GAY???????????????? i literally i adore every inch of you i miss your voice i feel strange sleeping. god forbid i still dabble in those audios to sleep but they feel weird now. cuz i want to sleep to ur voice. like how j used to do with ayden (i hate you and j was crazy) jm just UGH. oh god today was justso. so sosososo lovely j wish it went on forever j wish i had been in drama (lying but not rlly) i wish i didnt have 10 thousand things to do this week and i wjsh i wasnt stressed and that i had my car and that jobi jjsf. goddd. GODDD. im. imm soooo. OK ILL STOP I THINK IGE MENTIONED EVERYRHING TODAY IM NUST SOSOSOS. SOOOO. SOOOOOO.

id put the lhoto i took in here but i feel bad. its for me only i suppose immjsr. so. in love. with you.

[plantdad-dante]

Book #129 - Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan

(second time read; although, the only thing I remember from depressed-teenage-me's opinion on it was "kinda weird? seriously, am I the only one who finds it really kinda weird?", and... oh boy, if that is not an understatement)

I remember I mostly pretended to like this book because a friend back then loved it so much she was going to give a book presentation on it and this friend was always kind of the one friend who you're really afraid to differ in opinion with because what if they ditch you.

Anyway. Someone mark the calendar, a John Green book actually emotionally affected me! (Is it David Levithan's influence? Who knows.) Like, for a second. For a second, the Straight!Will & Tiny plot actually got to me (code word: baseball dugout). And then I remembered I really disliked Tiny, and the bubble burst, but for a second there, it had me!

The rest... well. Let me say it like this.

Straight!Will: Less annoying than I found him at 15, but still plenty annoying. Also the character who is responsible for probably the only "No Ace, Though!" I will ever encounter in a book, ever. Because dude... dude. What The Fuck Do You Mean.

Jane: Give me two weeks and I will not be able to tell her apart from the girl in the Katherine book. Just another case of "quirky cardboard".

Tiny: Listen. I get it? I get his problems, and why he is the way he is and does the stuff he does? But I just do not possess the patience to deal with people like that. And then somehow the whole book just strangely fixates on him and I just cannot deal with meddling attention sponges like that. I know it sounds massively judgy, but... I can't. I just can't.

Gay!Will: Let me tell you, I related to some pretty edgy, misanthropic bullshit at the height of my depressed pretentiousness. Looking back, it was very much the perfect mix of "concerning, yet cringe". That being said, I remember very clearly that, even at 15, I classified this Will as "a bit much". Paint your own picture accordingly.

Maura: Newsflash! Your friends (or "friends") do not owe you their coming out, and they do not owe you the details of their mental illness, either. Also, surprise! Catfishing is wrong, regardless of your fucking intentions. Why the fuck does Will have to apologize to her in the end?? Not that he didn't do anything wrong in this arrangement (he could really have communicated better - then again, depression), but her shit massively outweighs his? Because if I remember correctly, Will "knew" "Isaac" for a whole year. Aka almost the entirety of the Maura-Will "friendship". Girl, give him a chance to warm up to you. Or take a hint, prioritize yourself, and piss off.

Like... I promise, it is possible to make peace with yourself and your choices without having to talk to people who hurt you massively. It is possible to cut people off and not look back and be at peace with it. It is possible not to intentionally catfish people into coming out to you (what a sentence).

I think I want to hate this book more than I actually do. Like I said, it got my flinty little heart to throw off a spark or two. But, as I hope is evident, it also annoyed me too much to rise to the heights of love-hate, so final comment remains a resounding: eh.

[tropicalrpg]

vi. a boy in a vw polo drives through the XXth biggest city in the world, or: i am only in my poetry to the extent that an infinitely-sided dice has the one you start to count from, or: the easiest way to be anonymous is to be unknown.

a big thing with anonymity is the distance it creates between me and my writing. when i'm anonymous ian moon in my poetry, it doesn't matter. my experiences are so personal that most can't relate it to me, and i am sharing it in a way that doesn't reveal me in any way. if i print out some poems and leave them in my uni hallways, one may know a student left them there, but being one amidst a couple thousand is anonymous enough for me. i didn't end up printing my poems, though i planned it and made two separate docs for that. i talked with some friends and it became clear that my anonymity had gone down the drain. so i gave up.

but here, even though i know no one will pinpoint me specifically, i don't want to give away even the smallest of details. and the craziest thing is, i could! what would the harm in giving out my name be? thousands, if not millions, of people in the world have my name, or some variation of it. my age? my pronouns, dammit? even my city, the millions of people in it? my country and its even more millions? i wanted to title this post with the specific rank of my city's urban area amidst the biggest cities in the world. but alas, i don't want to give away even the smallest bits of who i am, not things that would impact interpretation, even though i am writing personal essays-ish, i am writing personal nonfiction, and who i am is what i write [sic]. (what i write is who i am.) (i don’t know which one of these gives out the meaning i want.) why? why is it like that?

the same goes for my poetry. here's a reveal: i'm a guy. gay guy. wouldn't be on tumblr, especially in 2022, if i were a straight guy. we know that much. but in my poems, though i do add the gendered word here and there to identify my poetic voices, i try to be as neutral as possible. i wonder, would people think these are a girl's love poems? my love interests are always men and oftentimes identified as such, so would people resort to heterosexuality, since it is more the rule than the exception, if you imagine a stranger?

only a part of anonymity is about protection, privacy, safety, or anything of that sort. tangible, real protection. i'm smart enough not to put all my information out on the internet, and i'm even sometimes hesitant with people i trust and have known for a while because you never know how easily you can be tricked until you are tricked—but i don't hide that much, and i don't care. if someone wanted to track me down, really wanted to, they could. across different social media and throughout time i've let out small pieces of me, tiny things, that do add up to all that i am. irls follow me; i've mentioned where i go to school; i use my real name in some places; i, as i said a couple days ago, am made of restrictions that restrict who i am, and i have let on enough of myself for one to figure me out. i am not anonymous in most places. here, i am anonymous if you don't already know me in any way, shape or form.

i choose anonymity because i want to vanish. i choose it because i don't want to impact my words, because i want them to go beyond me. i believe they are better than i am; i believe i weigh them down. letting them go, they have a shot of reaching further. if i ever get a chance of publishing a book, i don't want my picture on the back cover. i don't want my ugly face to taint my words' potential for beauty. and i don't—i'll even change the paragraph for this little deep dive—want my self to impact their meaning.

formalism, capital-F Formalism, the russian formalists' Formalism, is a bit of a reach, but their heart is in a good place. it's better than the alternative, the name of which escapes me, but basically wanted to find in the author the meaning of their words. even if my life and my experiences are present in my writing, particularly my poetry, don't let that limit it! i refuse to accept that there is a right meaning to anything, and i stand by some of barthes' death of the author. i have to read that, by the way. but i do think that what i meant or who i am should have no bearing whatsoever on what you get from what i say. look at the words and take your meaning from that and only that. even i make up new meanings to my words, different from what went through my mind when i wrote it! when i reread my poems, i find new metaphors, fresh wordplay. poems i wrote to experiment with certain imagery or sounds suddenly relate to my experience with my body and my identity and my desire, even if that was only my underlying intention when i was putting those words there, on my screen. i want to be anonymous because all poets should be. i am only in my poetry to the extent that an infinitely-sided dice has the one you start to count from. or something like that.

i went to driver's ed for the first time today, and i wrote some of this during it, and, as much as i was bored and most of what my instructor said seemed obvious and redundant, i like this new place where i am a clean slate. i like being anonymous and unknown. i prefer being anonymous and unknown from the safety of my bed, where i am comfortable and nothing about me reveals anything, and all that is available is what i put out there, but you can't always get what you want. sometimes, my body is my message, and i have to accept that i do not know it and i cannot control it, but it is inevitable that i have to send it out into the world. surely my issues with my body will come up repeatedly in future posts. undoubtedly.

i exist in a city and i go through things and i am, i am someone, and those are three things that will not change. (maybe one day i'll move to a small town or the middle of nowhere. i will still exist in a place, but existing in a place is an oversimplification of my life in the present moment, so let's not dwell on details.) the specifics of all these things affect my writing. the specific city, the specific things and the specific someone. plus: the specific city affects the specific things affect the specific someone. nothing is unrelated in life—while the formalists were right that the work itself is all that matters, it is not unrelated or unaffected by the world around it and around the author.

who i am is someone who will never let go of my writing, and will keep it in a chokehold as long as i write. even if i write fiction, fiction the most distant from me, it will keep being about me. but it is about who reads me, too. who i am holds control over my writing, but i don't want it to. so i erase myself. call me main quest, but not by my name, which i don't want to ever share. no one will call me at all. the easiest way to be anonymous is to be unknown.

2022.12.26

[brinnanza]

not to be a victorian man tenderly yearning for the touch of a particular lady’s hand, even briefly in passing, but physical distance continues to be homophobic and I don’t like it

[attackradish]

I want someone I can talk to in-depth about my sexuality but like. Firstoff half of that involves me trusting someone with that kind of information. My subconscious hardly trusts me with that information (AttackRadish, 2020). Then there’s the whole half of the confusion I have about my sexuality comes from my feelings on sex. And it’s not a simple want/don’t want situation. There’s layers and conditions and contradictions and asking someone “hey do you mind if I talk about my feelings on sex” is one of the most awkward things I could say to someone.

[fict1onallyobsessed]

hey! Could you a oneshot where Rhea has her first gay experience at bar with the reader. Sonya brought her to a gay club and the reader is the bartender flirting with her. THEY MAKE OUT AND WHAT NOT. Rhea gets her number and they go on from there.

First and Last Gay Bar

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Nervous Rhea 🫶🏻🥹 (it’s 3 am I have work tomorrow and I’ve not proofread it. Forgive me)

She sat in front of the bar with a huff.

You could see how apprehensive she was to even look around, or remotely make eye contact with anyone around her. The woman she came here with went to talk to some of the dancers, leaving the blonde alone. At a gay club.

“First time?” You asked as you approached her, the bar being the only thing separating the two of you from each other. She focused more on the glass you were polishing than you at first, but eventually looked up at your eyes a few moments later.

“That obvious?”

You shrugged, placing the glass back in its respective place before leaning directly in front of her on the bar. A smirk played at your lips as you looked over her unsure face. It was red as it is, and your plan was to get her comfortable. After all, it was kinda your job.

“We get plenty of rookies, but sulking here won’t help you find a girl.” You tilted your head a tiny bit, challenging her to question your words. She knew you were right, but she was way too nervous to actually up and talk to anyone.

“Yeah but- this was stupid.”

You pushed your body off the bar and started pouring her a drink. She needed to loosen up if she wanted a chance of having fun, and right now she was too tense to even look to the side.

“Well, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.”

You passed her the drink and watched her grab it, taking the shot faster than you’d thought she would. She passed the glass back as if to say another one, face slightly cringing at the alcohol that ran down her throat.

“What’s your name?”

“…Rhea.”

“I’ve worked here for years, Rhea, and you’re by far the hottest to come in.”

She tensed and looked surprised, a little blush taking over her cheeks. You grabbed the glass and laughed a little, filling it up again and passing it to her.

“You’ll need all of these you could get.”

She groaned, taking another shot figuring out that you were only testing her. She was already embarrassed to be there from the start, and now alone with you, it felt like everyone was staring at her.

It didn’t help that you were undeniably attractive, making her more nervous than she would like to.

She was genuinely really pretty, yet the way she sat immediately gave her nervousness away. Her arms were on show too, so the tattoos laying across her skin were clearly reflecting back into your eyes.

She was really fucking hot.

And her nervousness made her even cuter.

“Look, you have to sit up like you just won the lottery.” You pointed subtly to her right towards a group of girls dancing on this girl. “See the one in the blue? She’s a regular, comes in every Saturday. The way she’s sitting is the only thing going for her, trust me.”

Rhea smiled up at you, a little smirk already happening. If anyone asked, that was a win.

The rest of the night consisted of you handing drinks to the woman as you talked. With more alcohol, you could truly see how confident she was. She flirted continuously, and who were you to deny?

Her friend ended up being dragged into a crowd, leaving her alone with you. Not once did she try to leave you, explore the other parts of the club. Instead she flirted with you like there was no tomorrow. You weren’t allowed to drink while you were working, but your shift was over in 10 minutes and you prayed she’d stay until then.

“When do you finish?” She asked as you served some other girl a drink.

Looking at the time you told her when and she nodded. Considering she drank almost half your bar, she didn’t seem intoxicated one bit. Her Australian blood must of helped her with that because other than her change in ego, she was just Rhea.

And you wanted to see more of her.

“So you’re just gonna go home now?” Rhea asked as you got your bag from under the bar. You shrugged, a grin plastered on both your faces, as you tilted your head as you started into her eyes.

“Depends.”

She leaned in too, placing her elbows on the bar and tilting her head the same way.

“Depends on what?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

Her grin widened, looking behind her a little before looking back at you.

“I do.”

That’s how you found yourself on the other side of the bar, sitting opposite Rhea in one of the stools. The flirting between you was undeniably there. It was so obvious a person from the other side of the room could notice.

“I was going to apologise but I see you found yourself company.” The woman Rhea had came in with spoke up. Sonya, you learnt from the constant conversation you’d had with Rhea. Colleagues or something. You couldn’t remember.

You looked as Sonya left before returning your gaze back at Rhea, smiling when you noticed her already staring at you. No words really needed to be said, the closeness of your faces together spoke volumes as you both slowly closed the gap.

“This is highly unprofessional.” You laughed against her lips, only to return your lips to hers a second later. She only smiled, shrugging before her hand grabbed your jaw to kiss you harder.

“Won’t be if you give me your number.”

“Smooth, Ripley.”

You continued kissing her, hands roaming more than you’d thought they would. She was drunk but made no attempt to take it a step further, finding it impressive at how much her alcohol tolerance wasn’t letting her down.

You reached into your back pocket to get your phone, pulling away only to place it in her hands.

“Put it in your phone.”

She did just that, promising her much sober self to actually text you the next morning.

You didn’t have to wait long though, because the second you woke up you heard your phone ding.

Hey, it’s Rhea.

THE END

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

AFFC: Cersei VI (Chapter 28)

The Winds of Winter is delayed because he convinced himself every chapter needs to be the size of a short novel.

"There are other men as well, I hear. Knights and courtiers. Admirers. Tell me true, my lady. Do you think Margaery is still a maiden?"

"She says she is, Your Grace."

"So she does. What do you say?"

Taena's black eyes sparkled with mischief. "When she wed Lord Renly at Highgarden, I helped disrobe him for the bedding. His lordship was a well-made man, and lusty. I saw the proof when we tumbled him into the wedding bed where his bride awaited him as naked as her name day, blushing prettily beneath the coverlets. Ser Loras had carried her up the steps himself. Margaery may say that the marriage was never consummated, that Lord Renly had drunk too much wine at the wedding feast, but I promise you, the bit between his legs was anything but weary when last I saw it."

"Did you chance to see the marriage bed the morning after?" Cersei asked. "Did she bleed?"

"No sheet was shown, Your Grace."

I'm guessing Loras being present helped with that.

I still don't understand what the long-term plan was with these three. Was there seriously no consummation? Did they never intend to have sex? She was on board with her husband being gay and in love with her brother? What about an heir?

I have so many questions.

+.+.+

A pity. Still, the absence of a bloody sheet meant little, by itself. Common peasant girls bled like pigs upon their wedding nights, she had heard, but that was less true of highborn maids like Margaery Tyrell. A lord's daughter was more like to give her maidenhead to a horse than a husband, it was said, and Margaery had been riding since she was old enough to walk.

I'm sharing because it made me laugh out loud.

+.+.+

"I understand the little queen has many admirers amongst our household knights. The Redwyne twins, Ser Tallad . . . who else, pray tell?"

Lady Merryweather gave a shrug. "Ser Lambert, the fool who hides a good eye behind a patch. Bayard Norcross. Courtenay Greenhill. The brothers Woodwright, sometimes Portifer and often Lucantine. Oh, and Grand Maester Pycelle is a frequent visitor."

"Pycelle? Truly?" Had that doddering old worm forsaken the lion for the rose? If so, he will regret it. "Who else?"

"The Summer Islander in his feathered cloak. How could I have forgotten him, with his skin as black as ink? Others come to pay court to her cousins. Elinor is promised to the Ambrose boy, but loves to flirt, and Megga has a new suitor every fortnight. Once she kissed a potboy in the kitchen. I have heard talk of her marrying Lady Bulwer's brother, but if Megga were to choose for herself, she would sooner have Mark Mullendore, I am certain."

Highlighting for later.

Pycelle frequently visits Margaery, but it's those flirty cousins and their suitors we should be paying attention to.

+.+.+

When Taena frowned, a tiny crease appeared between her dark eyes. "Every morn and every night he [Loras] visits, unless duty interferes. Her brother is devoted to her, they share everything with . . . oh . . ." For a moment, the Myrish woman looked almost shocked. Then a smile spread across her face. "I have had a most wicked thought, Your Grace."

"Best keep it to yourself. The hill is thick with sparrows, and we all know how sparrows abhor wickedness."

I can only assume her idea is spreading fake news about Loras and Margaery. That's a bold suggestion from someone playing both sides.

+.+.+

"So I suspect. As a rule the Most Devout elevate one of their own, but there have been exceptions." Grand Maester Pycelle had informed her of the history, at tedious length.

Always pay attention to history, Cersei.

+.+.+

"During the reign of King Baelor the Blessed a simple stonemason was chosen as High Septon. He worked stone so beautifully that Baelor decided he was the Smith reborn in mortal flesh. The man could neither read nor write, nor recall the words of the simplest of prayers." Some still claimed that Baelor's Hand had the man poisoned to spare the realm embarrassment.

King Baelor the Blessed sounds like a looney tune. How predictable.

Is that last part about poison relevant?

+.+.+

"After that one died, an eight-year-old boy was elevated, once more at King Baelor's urging. The boy worked miracles, His Grace declared, though even his little healing hands could not save Baelor during his final fast."

Please!!

+.+.+

Lady Merryweather gave a laugh. "Eight years old? Perhaps my son could be High Septon. He is almost seven."

"Does he pray a lot?" the queen asked.

"He prefers to play with swords."

"A real boy, then. Can he name all seven gods?"

"I think so."

"I shall have to take him under consideration." Cersei did not doubt that there were any number of boys who would do more honor to the crystal crown than the wretch on whom the Most Devout had chosen to bestow it.

Yes! A number of boys! Who cares if he doesn't know how to read or use utensils? Not me.

+.+.+

This is what comes of letting fools and cowards rule themselves. Next time, I will choose their master for them. And the next time might not be long in coming, if the new High Septon continued to annoy her. Baelor's Hand had little to teach Cersei Lannister where such matters were concerned.

I believe her.

+.+.+

"You should bring this son of yours to court," Cersei told Lady Merryweather. "Six is not too young. Tommen needs other boys about him. Why not your son?" Joffrey had never had a close friend of his own age, that she recalled. The poor boy was always alone. I had Jaime when I was a child . . . and Melara, until she fell into the well. 

Unreliable narrator Cersei Lannister.

Cause, you know.

+.+.+

"Your Grace is kind, but Russell has never known any home but Longtable. I fear he would be lost in this great city."

"Bring my son to court to befriend the king? Nah, we're good, thanks."

Hun, this is not your friend.

+.+.+

We had to have those ships. She could not rely upon the Arbor for her navy; the Redwynes were too close to the Tyrells. She needed her own strength at sea.

The dromonds rising on the river would give her that. Her flagship would dip twice as many oars as King Robert's Hammer. Aurane had asked her leave to name her Lord Tywin, which Cersei had been pleased to grant. She looked forward to hearing men speak of her father as a "she."

rofl.

+.+.+

Another of the ships would be named Sweet Cersei, and would bear a gilded figurehead carved in her likeness, clad in mail and lion helm, with spear in hand. Brave Joffrey, Lady Joanna, and Lioness would follow her to sea, along with Queen Margaery, Golden Rose, Lord Renly, Lady Olenna, and Princess Myrcella. The queen had made the mistake of telling Tommen he might name the last five. He had actually chosen Moon Boy for one. 

Really?

Samwell, please make sure the Renly chapters are accurate.

+.+.+

She wore a white gown slashed with cloth-of-gold, lacy but demure. It had been several years since the last time she had donned it, and the queen found it uncomfortably tight about the middle.

It's unnecessary that I keep highlighting this, yet here I am doing it again.

+.+.+

The day she wed Robert Baratheon, thousands had turned out to cheer for them. All the women wore their best, and half the men had children on their shoulders. When she had emerged from inside the sept, hand in hand with the young king, the crowd sent up a roar so loud it could be heard in Lannisport. "They like you well, my lady," Robert whispered in her ear. "See, every face is smiling." For that one short moment she had been happy in her marriage . . . until she chanced to glance at Jaime. No, she remembered thinking, not every face, my lord.

Doomed before they even made it out of the sept.

+.+.+

No one was smiling now. The looks the sparrows gave her were dull, sullen, hostile. They made way but reluctantly. If they were truly sparrows, a shout would send them flying. A hundred gold cloaks with staves and swords and maces could clear this rabble quick enough. That was what Lord Tywin would have done. He would have ridden over them instead of walking through.

What else would he do, Cersei?

Lord Tywin would not have bothered with a search. He would have burned that town and every living creature in it. Men and boys, babes at the breast, noble knights and holy septons, pigs and whores, rats and rebels, he would have burned them all. - The Griffin Reborn, ADWD

+.+.+

"We ask no vengeance for our dead," said the one-legged man, "only protection for the living. For the septs and holy places."

"The Iron Throne must defend the Faith," growled a hulking lout with a seven-pointed star painted on his brow. "A king who does not protect his people is no king at all."

This always feels like a Jon shoutout.

+.+.+

But as she made her way through the press to the steps of the sept, a gaggle of armed men stepped out to block the doors. They wore mail and boiled leather, with here and there a bit of dinted plate. Some had spears and some had longswords. More favored axes, and had sewn red stars upon their bleached white surcoats. Two had the insolence to cross their spears and bar her way.

"Is this how you receive your queen?" she demanded of them.

Blocking the Queen Regent from entering. That's pretty outrageous.

Red flag, Cersei. Red flag.

+.+.+

"You are welcome here, but your men must leave their swordbelts. No weapons are allowed within, by command of the High Septon."

"Knights of the Kingsguard do not set aside their swords, not even in the presence of the king."

"In the king's house, the king's word must rule," replied the aged knight, "but this is the house of the gods."

They don't answer to kings, they answer to their gods.

Cersei? 🚩🚩🚩

+.+.+

"I do not see my friend Septon Torbert."

"Septon Torbert has been confined to a penitent's cell on bread and water. It is sinful for any man to be so plump when half the realm is starving."

The flag, Cersei. It's red.

+.+.+

"We have no crown, Your Grace."

Her frown deepened. "My lord father gave your predecessor a crown of rare beauty, wrought in crystal and spun gold."

"And for that gift we honor him in our prayers," the High Septon said, "but the poor need food in their bellies more than we need gold and crystal on our head. That crown has been sold. So have the others in our vaults, and all our rings, and our robes of cloth-of-gold and cloth-of-silver. Wool will keep a man as warm. That is why the Seven gave us sheep."

Haaaaahaha, fuck you Tywin.

+.+.+

He is utterly mad. The Most Devout must have been mad as well, to elevate this creature . . . mad, or terrified of the beggars at their doors. Qyburn's whisperers claimed that Septon Luceon had been nine votes from elevation when those doors had given way, and the sparrows came pouring into the Great Sept with their leader on their shoulders and their axes in their hands.

Cersei, I'm begging you.

+.+.+

Incense sweetened the air, and beside the seven altars candles shone like stars. A thousand twinkled for the Mother and near as many for the Maid, but you could count the Stranger's candles on two hands and still have fingers left.

Since we're in a sept, I'll pray this isn't the Arya foreshadowing I think it is.

+.+.+

At the Mother's altar, a septon was leading a hundred sparrows in prayer, their voices as distant as waves upon the shore. The High Septon led Cersei to where the Crone raised her lantern. When he knelt before the altar, she had no choice but to kneel beside him. 

Hahaha, he took her to the Crone instead of the Mother.

+.+.+

"Night soil can be washed away more easily than blood, Your Grace. If the plaza was befouled, it was befouled by the execution that was done here."

He dares throw Ned Stark in my face? "We all regret that. Joffrey was young, and not as wise as he might have been. Lord Stark should have been beheaded elsewhere, out of respect for Blessed Baelor . . . but the man was a traitor, let us not forget."

"King Baelor forgave those who conspired against him."

CERSEI. PLEASE.

+.+.+

"War is a dreadful thing. These atrocities are the work of the northmen, and of Lord Stannis and his demon-worshipers."

"Some of my sparrows speak of bands of lions who despoiled them . . . and of the Hound, who was your own sworn man. At Saltpans he slew an aged septon and despoiled a girl of twelve, an innocent child promised to the Faith. He wore his armor as he raped her and her tender flesh was torn and crushed by his iron mail. When he was done he gave her to his men, who cut off her nose and nipples."

(I apologize for making you read that.)

CERSEI. LISTEN.

+.+.+

"As you say. Yet it must be asked—where were the king's knights when these things were being done? Did not Jaehaerys the Conciliator once swear upon the Iron Throne itself that the crown would always protect and defend the Faith?"

Cersei had no idea what Jaehaerys the Conciliator might have sworn. "He did," she agreed

Having no idea is kicking her ass right now.

When Ser Joffrey and Lady Lucinda urged him to undo his uncle Maegor's decrees and reinstate the Swords and Stars, Jaehaerys refused firmly. "The Faith has no need of swords," he declared. "They have my protection. The protection of the Iron Throne." He did, however, rescind the bounties that Maegor had promised for the heads of Warrior's Sons and Poor Fellows. "I shall not wage war against my own people," he said, "but neither shall I tolerate treason and rebellion." - Fire & Blood

He swore the crown would always protect and defend the faith so they would remain disarmed.

+.+.+

It is traditional for every new High Septon to give the king his blessing . . . and yet you have refused to bless King Tommen."

"Your Grace is mistaken. We have not refused."

"You have not come."

"The hour is not yet ripe."

Are you a priest or a greengrocer? "And what might I do to make it . . . riper?" If he dares mention gold, I will deal with this one as I did the last and find a pious eight-year-old to wear the crystal crown.

pleasepleaseplease.

+.+.+

"The realm is full of kings. For the Faith to exalt one above the rest we must be certain. Three hundred years ago, when Aegon the Dragon landed beneath this very hill, the High Septon locked himself within the Starry Sept of Oldtown and prayed for seven days and seven nights, taking no nourishment but bread and water. When he emerged he announced that the Faith would not oppose Aegon and his sisters, for the Crone had lifted up her lamp to show him what lay ahead. If Oldtown took up arms against the Dragon, Oldtown would burn, and the Hightower and the Citadel and the Starry Sept would be cast down and destroyed. Lord Hightower was a godly man. When he heard the prophecy, he kept his strength at home and opened the city gates to Aegon when he came. And His High Holiness anointed the Conqueror with the seven oils. I must do as he did, three hundred years ago. I must pray, and fast."

Is this. . . something?

+.+.+

Cersei itched to slap his solemn, pious face. I could help you fast, she thought. I could shut you up in some tower and see that no one brings you food until the gods have spoken.

You first!

+.+.+

"Give Tommen your blessing, and he shall put an end to these outrages."

"And how shall he do that, Your Grace? Will he send a knight to walk the roads with every begging brother? Will he give us men to guard our septas against the wolves and lions?"

I will pretend you did not mention lions.

Why are you pretending? He mentioned lions! HE MENTIONED LIONS.

+.+.+

"The realm is at war. His Grace has need of every man." Cersei did not intend to squander Tommen's strength playing wet nurse to sparrows, or guarding the wrinkled cunts of a thousand sour septas. Half of them are probably praying for a good raping. 

Oof.

+.+.+

"Your sparrows have clubs and axes. Let them defend themselves."

"King Maegor's laws prohibit that, as Your Grace must know. It was by his decree that the Faith laid down its swords."

It's a trap! IT'S A TRAP.

He wants you to think this is your idea! IT'S NOT YOUR IDEA.

+.+.+

"Tommen is king now, not Maegor." What did she care what Maegor the Cruel had decreed three hundred years ago? Instead of taking the swords out of the hands of the faithful, he should have used them for his own ends. She pointed to where the Warrior stood above his altar of red marble. "What is that he holds?"

"A sword."

"Has he forgotten how to use it?"

"Maegor's laws—"

"—could be undone." She let that hang there, waiting for the High Sparrow to rise to the bait.

He did not disappoint her. "The Faith Militant reborn . . . that would be the answer to three hundred years of prayer, Your Grace. The Warrior would lift his shining sword again and cleanse this sinful realm of all its evil. If His Grace were to allow me to restore the ancient blessed orders of the Sword and Star, every godly man in the Seven Kingdoms would know him to be our true and rightful lord."

You're not casting the bait! YOU'RE NOT CASTING THE BAIT.

What did she care what Maegor the Cruel had decreed three hundred years ago?

omg.

+.+.+

That was sweet to hear, but Cersei took care not to seem too eager. "Your High Holiness spoke of forgiveness earlier. In these troubled times, King Tommen would be most grateful if you could see your way to forgiving the crown's debt. It seems to me we owe the Faith some nine hundred thousand dragons."

He's not forgiving anything! He already knows you never intend to pay! HE ALREADY KNOWS.

+.+.+

The High Septon pondered that a moment. "As you wish. This debt shall be forgiven, and King Tommen will have his blessing. The Warrior's Sons shall escort me to him, shining in the glory of their Faith, whilst my sparrows go forth to defend the meek and humble of the land, reborn as Poor Fellows as of old."

oh no.

+.+.+

The High Septon made a steeple of his hands and raised his eyes to heaven. "Let the wicked tremble!"

Do you hear that, Lord Stannis? Cersei could not help but smile. Even her lord father could have done no better. At a stroke, she had rid King's Landing of the plague of sparrows, secured Tommen's blessing, and lessened the crown's debt by close to a million dragons. Her heart was soaring as she allowed the High Septon to escort her back to the Hall of Lamps.

But he never said anything about Stannis! THERE WAS NO MENTION OF STANNIS.

Tommen won't even get his blessing! THERE WILL BE NO BLESSING.

+.+.+

"The Warrior's Sons were an order of knights who gave up their lands and gold and swore their swords to His High Holiness. The Poor Fellows . . . they were humbler, though far more numerous. Begging brothers of a sort, though they carried axes instead of bowls. They wandered the roads, escorting travelers from sept to sept and town to town. Their badge was the seven-pointed star, red on white, so the smallfolk named them Stars. The Warrior's Sons wore rainbow cloaks and inlaid silver armor over hair shirts, and bore star-shaped crystals in the pommels of their longswords. They were the Swords. Holy men, ascetics, fanatics, sorcerers, dragonslayers, demonhunters . . . there were many tales about them. But all agree that they were implacable in their hatred for all enemies of the Holy Faith."

Holy shit, Lancel is going to kill Drogon.

No but really, is this important? I've spent all my research time looking for red flag gifs.

+.+.+

"We have been picking autumn flowers in the kingswood," she told them.

I know where you were, the queen thought. Her informers were very good about keeping her apprised of Margaery's movements. Such a restless girl, our little queen. She seldom let more than three days pass without going off for a ride. 

[...]

Wherever she went, the smallfolk fawned on her, and Lady Margaery did all she could to fan their ardor. She was forever giving alms to beggars, buying hot pies off bakers' carts, and reining up to speak to common tradesmen.

Had it been up to her, she would have had Tommen doing all these things as well. 

[...]

But the king was deaf to sense, thanks to his little queen. "If we mingle with the commons, they will love us better."

I can't believe this kid is smarter than the whole god damn family.

+.+.+

Every day in every way she tries to steal him from me. Joffrey would have seen through her schemer's smile and let her know her place, but Tommen was more gullible. She knew Joff was too strong for her, Cersei thought, remembering the gold coin Qyburn had found. For House Tyrell to hope to rule, he had to be removed. 

A broken clock, yada yada yada.

+.+.+

It came back to her that Margaery and her hideous grandmother had once plotted to marry Sansa Stark to the little queen's crippled brother Willas. Lord Tywin had forestalled that by stealing a march on them and wedding Sansa to Tyrion, but the link had been there. They are all in it together, she realized with a start. The Tyrells bribed the gaolers to free Tyrion, and whisked him down the roseroad to join his vile bride. By now the both of them are safe in Highgarden, hidden away behind a wall of roses.

What are you talking about? The Tyrells pushed hardest for Sansa and Tyrion to be executed.

So close, yet so far.

+.+.+

In the early years of their marriage, Robert was forever imploring her to hunt with him, but Cersei had always begged off. His hunting trips allowed her time with Jaime. 

Nice try author, but you're not going to convince me Robert was a decent husband.

+.+.+

Margaery smiled at Ser Loras; a sweet sisterly smile, full of fondness. "Your Grace is kind to fear for me, but my brother keeps me well protected."

Go and hunt, Cersei had urged Robert, half a hundred times. My brother keeps me well protected. She recalled what Taena had told her earlier, and a laugh came bursting from her lips.

"Your Grace laughs so prettily." Lady Margaery gave her a quizzical smile. "Might we share the jest?"

"You will," the queen said. "I promise you, you will."

Doesn't she abandon the Loras x Margaery fake news plans? Similar to the Jon Snow thing, it feels like this fizzled out.

Final thoughts:

Maybe arming extremists won't be a disaster? I can't wait to find out.

Hey, did you know, like, 28% of the fandom believes the High Sparrow is Howland Reed?

Is that the least surprising thing you've ever heard?

-> return to menu <-

[spaceorphan18]

The Spaces In-Between: Chapter 7

TITLE: The Spaces In-Between RATING: M PAIRINGS: Eventually Kurt/Blaine, unrequited Kurt/Finn ADDITIONAL TAGS: All the tags! Mostly slowburn romance and friendship SUMMARY: The story of Kurt Hummel’s life in the spaces between what we saw on the show – goes through the entire series, and follows his adventures throughout, including falling in love with Blaine, his friendships with Mercedes and Rachel, and his relationship with his dad.

Thanks to @lallagoglee​ for the wonderful cover art! <3

***

Chapter 7: Keep Holding On

“Move it, gay kid!  I have places to be.” Sue Sylvester shouts at Kurt.  His lunch tray comes dangerously close to bumping her as she is in the process of storming out of the cafeteria.  Kurt steadies his lunch and glares after her.  God, he hates that woman.  

Gay kid… The phrase makes Kurt’s blood boil.  He had been shocked when Ms. Sylvester had first called him that.  But now that it is the only thing she will call him has him rolling his eyes so hard at her.  He knows what she is doing - purposely equating them to a single trait and doing so in the most insensitive way imaginable.  That is how Ms. Sylvester rolls.  And if she hadn’t been any other teacher, Kurt would have thrown some snark her way. You did not mess with Ms. Sylvester, though.  He had seen the things she had done to Santana and Brittany -- to Mr. Schue.  Kurt is not dumb enough to get on her bad side.  Still…  

“She really needs to pick some new nicknames,” Kurt mutters as he sets his tray down next to Mercedes.  He nods over to where Ms. Sylvester is yelling at some poor kid for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and knocking into her.  

Mercedes shrugs her shoulders, as if it is no big deal, and pops a tater tot into her mouth.  “They could be worse.  They’re not as bad as they could be.”  

“Really?” Kurt is incredulous.  “And you would be fine if Ms. Sylvester started calling you ‘black girl’ every time you walked by?” 

Mercedes gives him a glare as she chews.  “Well, I am a black girl, and an awesome one at that.  I’m not about to let any terrible person use it against me.”  

Kurt smiles inwardly.  As much as he appreciates Mercedes’s calm approach to everything, it is nice when she gets indigent with him.  

“But even so,” Mercedes continues.  “Ms. Sylvester isn’t all bad.  She is letting us sing solos and as much as I appreciate Mr. Schue for everything he’s done for us.  You have to admit, he has been holding us back.” 

She is not wrong.  Their tiny group of minorities have all had their share of solos to sing in the past week.  And it totally beats having to harmonize behind Rachel as she gets free reign on singing every song from the Rodgers and Hammerstein playbook.  But, as much as he likes having a chance to change it up a bit, something about the whole arrangement feels… hollow. 

“I will be the first to admit, it feels nice to actually be able to sing,” Kurt says carefully.  “But what is the trade-off?  That we allow Ms. Sylvester to terrorize us? She only reinforces this notion that I’m only ‘the gay kid’.” He uses finger quotations to emphasize his point.  

“Well, then what do you want to be?” she says with an easy smile.  He grimaces at her deliberate refusal to get the point.  She reaches out a hand to him and puts it over her own.  “Kurt, we’re never going to escape these labels people put on us.  People are always going to judge us before they get to know the real people that we are.  And if I dare ask - is being ‘gay kid’ really any better or worse than ‘black girl’ or ‘wheels’ or ‘other Asian’?” 

He tilts his head to consider.  It is not fair to compare one minority’s suffering to another.  It is not fair that they are even put into this position in the first place.  And now that he is becoming more comfortable with the fact that he is, indeed, gay… and like, really gay… he is not sure if society labeling him as such feels better or worse.  

Mercedes changes the subject to new music they can sing in glee, and he can only admire her ability to adapt when she needs to.  He supposes she has had her whole life to adapt to a society that represses her.  Not that everyone who has ever met him already just stamps the word ‘gay’ on his forehead.  But Mercedes is so much better at dealing with it than he is.  Or at least she seems to be.

Ms. Sylvester’s words still echo in his ears, but he lets them go, and indulges in Mercedes’s company. 

***

Kurt is in the boy’s locker room, combing his hair in the mirror.  Today’s practice had been grueling for the team. Luckily, being the kicker, he does not have to partake much.  That is the nice thing about being on Coach Tanaka’s good side.  Being the only one to help win a game, he is left pretty much alone - and being solely the kicker means he does not have to run the same drills.  

Most of the time, everyone ignores him... And he’s fine with that. He practices a few kicks by himself, imagining the music swirling around him to do so. His record is unblemished, never missing a goal in practice either. The team hasn’t scored a single point since that fateful game but Kurt doesn’t really care either way. He only likes the way his dad gets excited when he says he’s gearing up for a game, or the way Finn gives him a reassuring smile as the game begins.

Kurt does not spend much time in the locker room after practice.  The stench alone would send people screaming but, mostly, he does not want to be around the other guys as they all change and shower.   It is not that he would look.  He knows what male genitalia looks like, and it’s not like there is much appeal in a bunch of dumb jock meatheads.  It is them who feel uncomfortable.  The way they wrap their towels around their waists just a little tighter.  The way they make sure he is not looking as they slip into the shower stalls.  It is as if he sees them, they automatically turn gay, too. 

Like it could ever work that way. 

Kurt takes off his pads and remains in the scrubby clothes he wears underneath them.  There is nothing fashionable about high school athletic wear but he will have to make do until he can get home.  He grabs his bag from the locker and, while everyone else is goofing off, he tries to sneak out.  

Normally, that works.  The guys all let him go without another thought.  But not apparently that day.  

Azimio and Karofsky block the door out, their arms firmly folded over their chests.  

“Look who’s trying to skip out on team bonding time,” Azimio laughs.  

“Like the two of you want to bond with the gay kid ,” Kurt snarls.  Funny enough, it is the first time he has ever referred to himself as such.  There is something about taking it back for himself.  “Let me through.” 

“Ooh, getting sassy, are we?” Karofsky taunts.  “What’s your hurry?  Need to get home to jack off to the mere thought of all us guys in here?” 

Kurt’s stomach turns.  “I can’t think of anything grosser.” He tries to push past them but they remain firmly in place.  

“Uh, did we say you could go?” Azimio says, putting a hand to his ear.  “I don’t think we’ve said anything about letting you leave.” 

“You know what, Azimio? I think maybe it’s time we reinstate the classic swirlie,” Karofsky throws his head back with a laugh.  “Haven’t done one of those in a lo-ong time.” 

He has never had a swirlie and he doesn’t intend to find out what one is like.  He thinks back to all the times when he had been thrown in the dumpster and how he had just willingly taken it. While in some ways this is worse - now that he has a firm label on his head rather than just being another loser - he is not going to be that kid anymore.  He just refuses to back down to these idiots.  

Azimio and Karofsky move in, but Kurt ia too quick for them, doubling back.  “You will not touch me,” he screeches, shrill enough to stun the entire room.  

“What?” Karofsky says.  “Anyone have a problem with us bonding with the gay kid ?” 

“You know - if you were smarter, maybe you’d know better than to pick on the one member of this team that’s actually won a game for you,” Kurt throws in his face.  

Everyone has eyes on Kurt, yet no one says a word.  Finn looks as though he wants to say something but is holding back.  Puck just scoffs.  Mike stays stiff.  Matt slowly shakes his head.  

“Or maybe I’ll just let Coach Tanaka know how bonding time is going with the most valuable player on the team, and he’ll have you sitting on the bench,” Kurt continues.  

Karofsky makes an undignified grunt as he lunges at Kurt.  Kurt easily steps out of the way as Karofsky trips over a knee pad and lands plainly on his face.  The entire room erupts in laughter.  Even Azimio lets out a chuckle as Karofsky fumbles his way back to standing.  

“You guys are pathetic,” Kurt says as he spins on his heel.  He darts out of there before anyone else can follow him.  He makes it out of the building before he leans against the wall to catch his breath.  His adrenaline is flowing. He is still a little scared that they may come after him but at least he did not back down.  For once - the gay kid stood up for himself.

[wangxianficrecs]

❤️Time Charm by Jenrose

❤️ Time Charm

by Jenrose

E, 141k, wangxian, wangxianqing, series complete

Summary:  Wei Wuxian has been happily married for fifteen years when his life comes to a crashing end. But he planned for this! He has an emergency talisman for just such an occasion, which should allow him to go back and fix the situation that killed him.

Just one complication… Lan Wangji won’t let him go alone.

An answer to: “What if Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had the chance to do it all over again, knowing what they know? How far would they go?”

This story is a low-conflict multicanon time-travel fixit that serves as a 50k denouement for The Untamed.

Complete! Now with bullet point extras!

My Comments:  

In which wangxian send their spiritual cognition, at the moment of their deaths, back in time... to when they are about 4. They manage to save their mothers (but not wwx's father, sadly). Since they're adults in children's bodies (sort of, sometimes childhood takes over), they quickly gain the respect and support of lqr, both mothers, madam yu (who does Empathy and learns the whole traumatic story and thus becomes their most prodigeous ally) and madam jin, all of whom understand that these are two very important and powerful people sent back to save many lives.

[I got a little excited, so if you're sensitive about knowing too much, read with one eye shut:]

And so they have a List and move through it with their new adult protectors: save baby Xue Yang, Meng Yao, the entire Dafan Wen clan (who move to Lotus Pier and become Weis), stymie Jin Guangshan, collect all the Yin Iron pieces, stop Wen Ruohan.... It's a laundry list, and they do it well, and it gives wangxian a chance to settle into Lotus Pier and have actual childhoods with their peers, who are currently actual children.

The first half of the story takes place when they are still very young. The second half takes place when they're a little older (Cloud Recesses, where they teach instead of being students and a few years after that) when they have the mature bodies to do things like take on the Xuanwu and purify the Burial Mounds (author has put a lot of thought and physics into that one, it's very interesting!)

Part 2 is about Wen Qing being a surrogate for wangxian (they invent artificial insemination b/c she's very asexual and lwj is very gay). Over the pregnancy, she's folded into a poly (but asexual) relationship with them. [As a hardcore wangixan shipper, I found this to be very organic and palatable, but of course, ymmv, so mind your boundaries!]

Part 3 follows Lan Sizhui, left behind in the old timeline. It's sad at first, but has a happy ending. Part 4 sinks into Wen Qing's POV of their first few years of parenting, and focuses a lot on her particular brand of asexuality. The final part does exactly what it says, and ties up all kinds of loose ends. The ending is fully satisfying, fully earned, and fully rewarding for everyone involved in the happy and strong new world wwx and lwj cultivated on their second go-round.

Excerpt:  His brother and his brother’s friend leap over from the other dock, and then A-Zhan says, “I’m sorry, A-Huan, I forgot that I didn’t learn to swim until I was eight.”

“You’re five,” Lan Huan says.

“Not exactly,” the other boy says, and then smiles brightly, straightening, and then bowing. His speech sounds like home. “Greetings, Lan Xichen. I am Wei Ying, courtesy name Wuxian, but as I will be marrying A-Zhan, we will be brothers someday, so you may call me A-Ying or A-Xian, whichever you like. Though you used to call me Wuxian more often than not, I’m a bit small for it now.”

“Marrying?” Lan Huan asks faintly, and then looks at his brother, who is looking at this Wei Ying with the softest expression. “Wait, used to?”

Another little boy only a tiny bit smaller climbs out of the water the hard way and says, “I’m their shidi, Jiang Cheng. And that tall girl over there is my sister, Yanli. If they ever say shijie, that’s who they mean. There are other girls here, but only a-jie is shijie to A-Ying. But Ying-erge and Zhan-dage grew all the way up to old men and then came back to fix things, so they’re both gege. They know so much.”

N.B.  If you liked this story and want MOAR time travel fix-its with genius wwx and old-soul-but-children wangxian, you can read:

Molten Gold by jesso (my post)

Fallen by Jaywalker_Holmes  (my post)

Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator  (my post)

Just a Tiny Mistake by Dudette_Mal  (my post)

No, Lan Wangji, You Cannot Marry Someone You Just Met! by soulmateenthusiast  (my post)

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (my post)

time travel fix it, post canon, everyone lives nobody dies, kid fic, child wei wuxian, child lan wangji, BAMF wei wuxian, BAMF lan wangji, genius inventor wei wuxian, background xiyao, strong female characters, lots of mothers, second chances, first time, feels, fluff, light angst, telepathy, telepathic bond, soulmates, world building, family feels, found family, BIG family, lan wangji nopes out of Cloud Recesses, wangxian live in lotus pier, cangse sanren lives, lan wangji’s mother lives, dafan wens live, so many babies, surrogate wen qing, asexual wen qing, happy ending, favorite, @jenroses​​​​

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[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

I always wondered how the foxes would react to finding out that it was andrew that "hit on" neil first (specially Kevin, since he was just standing right there while that happened)

(now, i don't think they would willing just talk about it but if one of them slip up...)

Btw: i absolutely adored the goodbye kisses series

AHHH sorry for being so MIA lately but i'm absolutely loving this! also i'm realizing that i'm very bad at actually getting to the point so enjoy a shit ton of irrelevant exposition :)

read it on ao3 here

— ··· —

Kevin didn't understand why they had to come to the zoo. It was smelly, there were kids screaming everywhere, and he'd nearly been stepped on three times in the past 10 minutes. He much rather preferred exy to this.

Team bonding sucked.

He trudged along beside Aaron as Dan, Matt, and Nicky actually tried socializing with the new Foxes. Normally, Kevin would jump at the chance to talk about exy with these recruits, but also, normally he didn't feel like he'd just just rolled through a flaming dumpster filled with screeching, pooping monkeys.

Kevin let out a sigh as they passed some sort of mildly interesting snake exhibit. He nudged Aaron, who was on his phone with a red face, which meant he was either texting lovey-dovey things to Katelyn or blasting an idiot in his Ochem class. You never really knew with him.

"Aaron."

Aaron just scowled at him. Kevin sighed again. Conversing was always so much more exhausting than he anticipated.

"Snakes."

"What."

"Do you want to... see the snakes?"

Aaron blinked in confusion. "Okay?"

Kevin led them to the snakes.

There, they shoved past some families and made it to the front of the glass enclosure.

"Well?" Aaron asked. "Now what do we do?"

Valid question, Kevin thought. He hadn't really considered what they were doing. He just wanted to see snakes.

He told Aaron as much, who rolled his eyes aggressively and went back to his phone.

Kevin felt a tap on his shoulder and twisted around, coming face-to-face (well, more like chest-to-face) with some sort of tour or information guide.

"Hi!" she smiled all too brightly. Kevin wanted to cover his eyes. "How are you enjoying the exhibition?"

"Um," Kevin gulped eloquently, then remembered his media training. "Oh yeah, it's great!"

"Awesome," she beamed. "You know, there's a snake feeding session in about 5 minutes if you and your son are interested."

Kevin's face contorted in confusion. He whirled around, assuming some tiny, lost child was latched near him, but when he turned back, the lady — Sandy — had her gaze intensely focused on the only other small person near him: Aaron.

Oh dear.

Aaron seemed to come to the same conclusion as Kevin did because his eyes widened comically and he hissed "I. am. not. his. son."

Sandy blinked owlishly. "Little brother then?"

Aaron threw his hands up. "I am 21! Leave me alone." He then proceeded to stomp out of the enclosure, dragging Kevin along and leaving a very flummoxed old lady behind them.

"I can't believe it," Aaron kept muttering. "Your son. Your son! I hate life."

Kevin was a bit miffed that he hadn't actually been able to see the snakes, but he figured Aaron's plight was slightly more significant than that.

After a few moments of silent walking (Kevin) and angry grumbing (Aaron), Kevin realized he couldn't see any of the Foxes anymore. He glanced around, instinctively searching for Andrew.

"Hey, do you know where Andrew and Neil went?" Kevin asked.

Aaron scoffed. "They're probably making out somewhere."

"Who's making out?"

Aaron and Kevin both gave unholy screeches as they turned around to find Nicky standing between them, a wide, innocent grin on his face.

"What the fuck," Aaron complained. "Don't do that again, you bitch."

Nicky waved him off. "Shut up. Who's making out? Might be able to close some bets."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "We just can't find Andrew and Neil anywhere. Aaron seems to believe they're off deflowering a zoo Port-A-Potty or something."

"Well then, we wouldn't want to interrupt them, right?" Nicky winked. "Anyways, we're all going to the butterfly exhibit right now so y'all have to join us. I'm not taking no for an answer."

It seemed that they had no choice, so after sharing a resigned glance, Kevin and Aaron trudged behind an overly enthusiastic Nicky while he babbled on about some parrots that he saw. It really didn't seem as interesting as Nicky was making it out to be, but Kevin didn't want to say anything lest he was expected to participate in the conversation too.

They finally reached the butterfly exhibit where the other Foxes were waiting for them. They entered as a mass of loud, mildy buff, smelly athletes and got more than a few glares from the parents of young children who moved out of the way.

But in all this movement, the path cleared and Kevin found... Andrew and Neil? He was about to turn to Aaron and tell him that they evidently not making out, until he noticed how still Andrew was standing and the glee on Neil's face.

Nicky's gaze caught onto them a second later, because he squealed and grabbed Kevin's arm, jabbing his finger at the sight.

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Is that a butterfly on Andrew's nose? That is adorable."

Kevin squinted, and yes, that's exactly what it appeared to be. Nicky's outburst had caught Allison's attention, and she began marching over to Neil and Andrew, the rest of the Foxes in tow.

Kevin could already tell this was going to be a mess.

When they finally reached Andrew, Aaron was the first to speak. "What the fuck?" he asked flatly. Andrew glared at him. Slowly, as to not move the butterfly, he raised his hand to gently flip off his brother.

Nicky immediately started cooing. "Aww, don't worry Andrew! I think you look adorable."

Andrew began slipping out a knife.

On Allison's left, Kevin saw Dan practically shaking with laughter as she pulled out her camera and snapped a picture.

Neil opened his mouth, probably to tell off Dan but Nicky rushed in to talk to him.

"Soooo," he waggled his eyebrows. "I didn't know you could see the future, Neil."

Neil stared at him blankly and turned back to Andrew as he pulled out a map, but Nicky rallied on.

"Like, you must have been able to predict that one day Andrew was going to be this adorable. That's why you asked him out, right?"

"What?" Neil asked distractedly. "I never asked him out."

Kevin blinked in surprise. After a moment's consideration, he realized that considering how utterly oblivious Neil could be, it really was no shocker that Andrew had to ask him out first.

"Wait wait wait," Matt shook his head. "So Andrew asked you out?"

Neil waved them off as he continued squinting at the map he was holding. "Yes yes, just go ask Kevin, he was there."

All eyes turned to Kevin. Kevin was very lost.

"What the fuck," Aaron repeated. "I'm so confused."

"Me too," Kevin muttered. "Me too."

— ··· —

After their long day at the zoo was over, the Foxes finally began the trudge back up to their respective dorms. The younger Foxes dozed off immediately, but the older Foxes gathered in the girls' room to drop off the bags they had borrowed for the trip.

In all the commotion, no one really noticed Andrew and Neil leaving together. But right before they slipped out the door, Renee caught sight of them.

"Good night, you two!" she called. Neil turned around and gave her a tired wave, his body slumped on Andrew.

"Wait!" Nicky scrambled off the sofa. "Before I forget: Neil, how did Andrew ask you out?"

Neil blinked sleepily. "Well," he slurred. "He asked if he could blow me."

The room went silent.

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged Neil out the door, leaving seven wide-eyed, very much awake athletes in their wake. Slowly, everyone turned to Kevin.

"You!" Allison weakly jabbed a finger in his direction. "You knew about this!"

Too late, Kevin realized what Neil's statement meant. Andrew had asked out Neil in front of Kevin. By offering sex. Nothing could have possibly ruined Kevin's night as much as this information had.

He met the Foxes' eyes slowly. Even Renee looked a bit surprised at Neil's admission, but she was clearly biting back a smile. "Trust me," Kevin groaned. "If I had known this had happened, I would have won myself so many bets."

"Damn," Nicky sighed. "I wish Erik and I had such an iconic story. Who knew the quiet, stabby cousin was such a horny gay bastard?"

"I," Aaron announced hotly. "have never wanted to forget a conversation more than this one."

"But Aaron. Andrew asked to blow him."

"Nicky, I swear— "

"OH MY GOD. They're probably having sex right now! Kevin, could you— "

Aaron put his head in his hands. "Please shut up now."