#There have been plenty of things that I look at in disgust at the mere thought of liking it

[ihearnocomplaints]

I realise that I’m stubborn when it comes to new media. New games and stuff that people get into. I prefer the classics and I guess maybe I’m a little scared to like something other than what I’ve attached myself to. I feel a little jaded, maybe? Like, new media feels like it will be cringe or childish or something.

And then I sit here like. What??? You are literally obsessed with these characters from a cringy/childish game or whatever. Like I AM the cringe I’m afraid to indulge in. Security Breach was new media at some point. And I realise, while I’m open minded, I don’t want to understand. I’ve become just as bad as some people I know. And that’s dumb.

I was skeptical about getting into pressure but I heard that fish man once and immediately started to gain interest in it.

I suppose it may be an autistic thing for me? I’m not judgemental toward people who enjoy it or get into these new things, like I’ve said. I just think I need to be more open to new experiences and accept that I don’t have to define myself by these characters I’ve loved for so long. That I can set aside these guys to indulge in other things. I should just be me. I need to open myself up to new things instead of immediately assuming I won’t like it based on what little information I have.

That said, I don’t exactly have time to get into new things. So that’s a whole other hurdle I have to jump as well.

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

imagine logan seeing you again, pt. 2

logan x reader

summary: In his universe, Logan and you were in love. Then you died. Now he's in a different timeline and you are very much alive.

warning: some deadpool x wolverine spoilers. this takes place after the movie. under 1k words.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

The street was typically crowded for a Wednesday afternoon, but the hot dog in your hand lathered away all the annoyance from being shoulder checked every so often. The first bite awakened your entire body, and you felt amorous joy. It was a mild weather day and Wade had given you the task of entertaining his new roommate. Logan stood in front of you, seemingly annoyed at the way you were ignoring him and making love to the wiener in your mouth.

“You eat like a pig.”

“Oink…oink…” you murmured, finishing the dog with another anxious bite. He looked disgusted and you amused, as he checked his watch. “Stop acting like you have somewhere to be, you have nothing going on in your life at the moment.”

“Aren’t you a bed of roses.”

Ignoring him, you wiped your hands off and tossed away the napkins. “So, I personally think this is a major waste of time since I gather, you’d rather just hit up a local bar and gorge yourself into oblivion. But I told Laura I’d at least try to get you to do something fun.”

Logan, being the ray of sunshine he was, grunted but then asked how the young girl was doing. “You didn’t have to take her in.”

The two of you starting, well, just walking. There was no real plan for the day, you just picked up Logan from Wade’s apartment and told the Wolverine he was going on a little walk. Like the good little doggy he was – of course, he didn’t appreciate that last bit, but he didn’t object to the idea.

“I honestly don’t mind. It’s nice having a roommate, she’s quiet though. She’s teaching me Spanish, so that’s nice. Are you hungry?”

“You just had a hot dog.”

“It’s called an appetizer, Logan…I know a really good burger place nearby.”

He said nothing and the two of you fell into a silent pace, Logan feeling beside himself. Even a bit ashamed for stealing glances your way. You looked just like her, you – it was confusing and ultimately, he wasn’t sure what to feel. At the party, he thought he felt something and when he saw you afterwards – helping Laura settling into your apartment, it had killed him. Seeing you happy, like you always wanted. In a small apartment, instead of a huge mansion with no privacy. The X-Men were your family but there had been plenty of times when you had confessed to Logan for some peace and quiet. It wasn’t like you wanted to abandon the school, the people you loved – you just wanted a place for Logan and you. As he watched that day, moving things around for Laura, he felt peace. At least, in this universe, you got what you wanted.

“Logan?”

He apologized. “Burger sounds good.”

The man looked conflicted, and you wanted to make a funny comment, observation but something in you decided not to. Instead, you stole little peeks, he wasn’t as old as the Logan from this world, but he had some miles on him. He wasn’t exactly hard to look at either with that whole hard ass guise to him. Wade had highly under played Logan’s attractiveness and what a petty bitch he was. This thought made you chuckle loud enough to gain a look from your companion. He asked what was so funny, you said nothing.

“So, what are your plans now that you’re anchored here?”

“That would be the million-dollar question.”

“I could hook you up with an old team of mine?”

“Absolutely not.”

You began to rattle off different occupations Logan could take up – line cook, bounty hunter, librarian. The latter piqued your interest a little too much with the mere thought of Logan wearing studious glasses and a gray knit sweater making you warm. “I would definitely read more.”

He laughed, maybe even smiled. “Not a fat chance.”

“A girl could try,” you shrugged, nodding ahead. The diner was in view and Logan followed you across the street. He opened the door, and you thanked him, slightly embarrassed that you were feeling some type of way. Horny? Yikes. Maybe. It had been a while and you hardly knew Logan but that might have been the thrill. Feeling silly, you lead the man to a booth in the corner and you settled across from him. The waitress came over and slipped menus to each of you. Logan asked for a coffee while he gazed down at the limited selection of food, and you asked for a Diet Coke. You watched Logan curiously, trying to guess what he’d ordered. He didn’t seem like the type to be experimental with his meals. So, a burger combo would be the best guess and you were completely right. When the waitress came back to take your orders, Logan ordered a burger combo while you asked for a BLT. He thanked the woman and relaxed against the vinyl booth, looking out the window as people walked by.

“Is it different?”

He answered with a quick no, and you apologized for repeatedly asking that. “It’s just crazy to think about other universes, other versions of ourselves out there. Would it be weird to ask if I looked the same?”

Logan stared at you and felt his heart sink. You were beautiful, you were but he could see the differences between the woman he loved and the woman in front of him. Your eyes were filled with energy, hair a lighter tone in color, skin darker – it was like he was seeing an inverted version of the you he knew. Here, in this world, you seemed more carefree, and he was happy about it. Back home, all you ever did was worry. He never really saw you truly happy and he wondered if it was because he had loved you. In this fuck of a place, Logan and you had never interacted. Your paths never crossed and maybe that’s why you were so content. He managed an uncomfortable smile and shrugged. “Pretty much the same.”

Your face fell as the waitress arrived with the drinks. Logan took his and sipped the coffee, hoping you’d move on. It had taken much effort to even look at you now, his heart racing so fast he wanted nothing more to do than leave. Like a coward, run away. It would be so much easier than facing whatever look was in your eyes – what answer did you want? What did you want to hear? Logan felt like somehow you knew the truth and that this was all just a ploy to extract it from him but then you smiled, and a nerve was hit. A good one that had Logan glancing out the window.

“I was hoping I’d have green hair or something,” you laughed lightly. “Oh, well. Green isn’t really my color.  Listen, thanks for being such a good sport in all this. For that, how about I take you out for some beers tomorrow night? Unless you got something going on? Which we both know you don’t.”

No.

If he wanted to be a good person with his second chance he was given, that’s what he should have said. No drinks, no weird lunches, no stolen glances. He should have never agreed to even see you again, if he really wanted to change then he would have said no. In fact, he should slowly ease himself out of this friendship you were trying to establish, because what good could come of it? Everyone he loves always dies, his version of you did. Right in his arms, the last thing you felt was his warm embrace. That thought alone should have sent him packing but your eyes on him – understanding, the way your fingers played with the straw from your drink in anticipation and the friendly smile on your face, it was too much for Logan. How could he resist?

Was this a form of self-torture?

If so, he was in, but he was going to need a buffer.

“A few beers sound great, but only one condition.”

Surprised, you agreed. “Anything.”

Logan sighed. Deeply. “As much as this pains me, you gotta invite numb nuts.”

.............

leave comment for a tag. (I tagged those from the OG post who seemed interested in seeing a second part)

@pushingdaisies1 @johnnysilverhandeeznuts @murderhousemuse

@carolinameinicke @abysswhiskey11 @weallhaveadestiny

@cosmiccandydreamer @airwolf92 @fidgetingbee

@bananarepublic58 @ilove-sexydilfsnmilfs @an-tkc @wotcherboo

@theslvttysimp @cauqhtz @ittoscumdump @sad0ni0n

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@britthiddlesbatch @doradora8008 @aheadfullofsteverogers

@erikaafernns @justkennadi @tinalbion @tomukit

[toraoistired]

let's talk about project 2025 and smut.

bc I've seen some of my favorite authors already state they aren't writing any more smut due to the mere threat of project 2025 going into effect. And hey, I'm a simple person who likes to read abt sexy times.

pls read through all the way and share if ya like any of what i wrote here - i don't want panic to be spreading through the writers of tumblr/ao3 like wildfire unchecked.

qualifications: BA in political science focusing on domestic policy, activism and ethnic studies.

Part I - what is it?

project 2025 at its core is a roadmap. it was created by the Heritage Foundation (an extremely far right disgusting think tank), and plenty of people associated with the previous and incoming Trump presidency. its like 900 pages of alt-right, christian nationalist bullshit.

but its not uncommon.

think tanks like the Heritage Foundation often create roadmaps like this to plot out what they would most want to see in a future presidency or period of political control. it isn't even particular to right-wing think tanks; left wing ones do it too! the difference in this case is the magnitude and attention paid to the manifesto.

the heritage foundation is a vast organization with a lot of money, and has had a part in US politics for a long ass time now. because of this, what they say/do carries a bit more weight. combined with the fact that dems in the past election used project 2025 as a common refrain (instead of like, developing their own policy but whatevs), you get a general public who is aware of the buzzword "project 2025" but not knowledgeable about what it contains.

what it does actually include is certainly worrying, but among the new freaky shit is a ton of stuff that has been on the republican party's to do list since day one, like dismantling the department of education. just reading that seems really shocking, i know, but if you look back to when the department was created, you will find evidence of republicans trying desperately to dismantle it.

i find the media flurry around project 2025 to be a bit concerning, because while i understand dems wanting to show voters how dangerous this shit can be, its also made it into something far more important than it could actually be. as i stated earlier, these types of policy blueprints are extremely common among think tanks. its like their entire job!! and yes, this one is scarier and more visible than others, but it

a.) isn't the official policy of the incoming admin (and if you look at their actual policy statement, its very clear they don't rly have policies, so who knows what that's gonna look like)

b.) isn't united states federal law

Part II - what's it gonna look like?

i'm not gonna sit here and say you shouldn't be worried about project 2025, bc a lot of whats in it is freaky asf. but that freakiness is what (in my opinion) will be its primary challenge. since its so out there, the extreme right wing republicans are going to have to work their asses off to get the votes they need to pass these things.

which brings me to another point-- project 2025 is a whole list of proposals. its not like republicans can put forth one bill that has the entirety of project 2025 in it and pass it all at once. for a whole laundry list of reasons, that's not possible. the process of getting one bill passed through the house and senate is an excruciatingly long one, and doing this process for 900 pages worth of plans ain't gonna be easy.

i should mention that donald trump has yet to endorse the plan as his own, so there's the real possibility that he wont even want to implement any of the ideas included. i could 100% see him ignoring the entire plan because he doesn't like that someone else came up with it tbh. and while i don't believe he has never heard of the heritage foundation, as he has claimed in the past, i think it is important to note that there hasn't been any confirmation from him that project 2025 is his roadmap.

the plan includes rollbacks of rights for every minority group possible, restrictions on immigration, access to morning-after pills, restructuring of the federal government to allow for easier hiring and firing based on little/no evidence, etc. all in all, not great.

but again, project 2025 isn't united states federal law

Part III - what does it mean for fanfic authors?

the section that has the fanfic-consuming/creating world in a tizzy is the bit about outlawing pornography. this is a concerning policy propsal, but not because of possible fanfic bans. rather, bc project 2025 and the heritage foundation at large sees queerness as inherently and exclusively sexual.

"pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children" (The Heritage Foundation, p.5)

thus, if they ban pornography (with a definition that includes/focuses on queerness), they can effectively ban expressions of queerness in the united states.

that shit is scary. and while i never want to rely on foundational documents when the people interpreting those documents (court justices (esp those appointed by the previous and incoming trump admin)), i will hesitantly say that this is gonna be a tough sell. both from a constitutional standpoint, and from a broad base support standpoint.

for the first of the two points, arguing that the first amendment doesn't "apply" to something is always a slippery slope, and defending that point is extraordinarily difficult. obviously this isnt always the case, but especially relating to pornography and obscenity, proving that a work fails the Miller test (a three part test created in Miller v. California (1973) to determine if something is obscene or not) is, like, really hard (heh).*

while the miller test is precedent for specific cases that come up in the court system, if some version of the porn ban goes into effect, the US court system is going to be dealing with challenges from every state, every form of media, every fandom.

which brings me to the second point. broad base support.

while the headline about Grindr crashing in Milwaukee during the RNC wasn't true in 2024, republican events in previous have brought an influx in users to the area in which the events are held if ya know what i'm sayin👀

on a real note though, getting a pornography ban passed in the united states would be exceedingly hard (no pun intended). especially one that includes forms of media like written pornography, not just visual. in terms of feasibility, a ban on video pornography is incrementally more likely than one on all forms of pornography. arguments against porn are weak at best, and the anti-porn movement in the US (usually religious) has been trying, and failing, for decades to ban pornography. most content about porn bans also refers primarily to video-based porn, not written smut.

let's just say worst case scenario something like this does go into action. anything you've written before the law goes into action cannot be used as a way to prosecute you. that would be an example of ex post facto punishment, which is explicitly prohibited in the constitution and by court precedent.

*note: i'm not endorsing the way the US court precedents around porn/obscenity look, as they are another symptom of purity culture and anti-sex culture created in the US

Part IV - what do we do?

well, giving up before a bill has even been proposed ain't it. it makes me deeply sad to see so many writers saying they wont be writing smut anymore because of the vague possibility of this plan. not only does it make me sad, it makes me angry. because that means people have seen so much misinformation about what project 2025 is and how it works that they are too scared to do anything about it. let me repeat again.

project 2025 is not law in the united states of america, nor is it in the process of becoming so. act accordingly.

so go forth, write smut, be gay, do some shit to make the heritage foundation angry today. and don't give up before the battle has even started. bc that's how they win. and i know shit seems really scary, but community and mutual aid is how we are gonna make it through this, so do your due diligence and research what you're scared about! knowledge is power and you gotta wield that sh*t.

i'd like to end with a quote from Timothy Snyder, who everyone and their mother has been quoting recently, but i still think it has value.

"Do not obey in advance. Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do. Anticipatory obedience is a political tragedy." (Excerpted from On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder, 2017)

[Note - i have cited sources where appropriate, but this is also based on my (important to note, informed) opinion. please treat it as such, thank you]

[claudemblems]

A Kiss to End All Doubt | Albert Moriarty

Summary: When you agreed to tag along with the Moriarty brothers to a grand ball, the last thing you expected was to receive a noble's offer of marriage. Thankfully, Albert plays the part of your lover well, perhaps a little too well for his affectionate words to be fake...

Content: SFW. Fem!Reader. 3,723 words. Pining. Soooo much romantic tension. Albert is a flirt and no one is surprised.

Notes: I have been writing this fic for what feels like forever BUT IT'S FINALLY FINISHED :3 I'm so excited to finally give this to you. I hope you enjoy it 💖 I may also add an epilogue if there's an interest for one...🤭

Did Albert Moriarty, one of the many faces of the Lord of Crime, truly not have the slightest idea of the effect he had on you?

It was silly to even fathom that a man of his stature could be so oblivious, but you couldn’t help but start to wonder once he started giving your flushed cheeks and wide eyes a quizzical look.

That, or he was playing coy with you, which wouldn’t be all that surprising coming from him. He’d long since mastered the art of making noble ladies go weak in the knees.

But that was a skill he’d acquired out of pure necessity. If he had things his way, he’d refuse to give the stuck up women of the nobility the time of day. Unfortunately, he had a role to play in all of his brother’s plans, and so he continued flirting with the noble ladies just long enough to leave them wanting more.

You, on the other hand, were no noble. In fact, you had no good fortune, distinguished education, or marriageable prospects to speak of. Truly, you were nothing but a mere face hidden amongst the shadows, which was perfect for an assistant to the Lord of Crime.

You’d begun to empathize with Albert’s disdain for these royal functions, mainly the lavish balls he and his brothers had little choice but to attend. It was important for them to keep up appearances as a well-rounded noble family who knew how to mingle with the upper-class, whether they enjoyed doing so or not. While they seemed to have gotten used to it for the most part, it proved to be quite the difficult adjustment for you. Thankfully, Albert had patiently taught you the ins and outs of noble life, giving you lessons on small talk and etiquette whenever time permitted.

However, he hadn’t yet taught you how to handle a nobleman’s advances.

“You must be Lady [Name],” the man greeted, holding out his hand for you to take. You briefly glanced towards Albert, taking his nod as a sign to follow through with the gesture. A kiss was placed onto your hand before the man let go, stepping back to better admire the exquisite sights around him. “It’s quite a splendid ball, isn’t it? There’s so many well-mannered and intelligent guests in our midst, such as you, young Lord Albert.”

“Lord Darnley, you are far too kind,” Albert said, placing a hand over his heart and bowing. “I ought to be extending the compliments to you. Your presence here is most welcome, as well as that of your entourage. Would the girl you brought with you happen to be your little sister, Lady Georgina?”

“Ah, I see you’ve made sure to memorize the names of all the guests! Indeed, she insisted on joining me, and no matter what I said, she refused to take no for an answer!” Darnley bellowed in laughter, briefly drawing the attention of the other guests nearby.

“She already seems to be quite the free spirit. I’m sure she has a bright future ahead of her.”

“If you’re so interested in my dear Georgina, I would be more than willing to sit down and discuss a potential marriage between the two of you.”

You swore you saw a flash of disgust appear in Albert’s eyes, but he simply smiled brightly at Darnley, careful that his emotions did not look fake or contrived. “While your offer is certainly generous, I have no plans of marriage at the moment. I’m afraid I’m already plenty busy with my service in the royal army.”

“Ah, what a shame,” Lord Darnley sighed, but his disappointment quickly turned to anticipation when his gaze once again fell on you. Your stomach lurched at the look in his eyes, but you tried to retain your composure, copying Albert’s mannerisms by offering a surface-level smile.

“Lady [Name], I am supposing you are not yet married if you’re attending this function with the Moriartys.”

“That would be correct, my good sir. How astute of you to notice.”

Lord Darnley grinned at the news like a hunter mere moments away from ensnaring this prey. “Well then, my lady, is there anyone that has asked for your hand yet?”

Goosebumps ran down your arms as you swallowed thickly. Anyone with a right mind knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

“I…well…” Should you tell the truth? Should you lie? But then who would you say had expressed a desire in marrying you? “It’s…complicated.”

“So, that would mean no formal question has been posed then, correct?”

“...Correct.”

You heard Albert’s feet shift next to you, on guard for whatever preposterous idea this nobleman could come up with next.

“Well, it’s certainly not good for a lady of your standing to be without a husband. I, myself, am quite the romantic, and I believe a courting period fosters a genuine love between both parties involved. If you have no one currently vying for your hand, perhaps you’d offer me the chance to earn it.”

No. No. On so many levels, no.

But this wasn’t about you—your happiness or married life did not come before the liberation of London. Whatever the brothers asked of you, you would adhere to their words, even if it meant having to be stuck with a man such as…this. Though you knew they’d never even entertain the thought of offering you up to some man who cared only for your beauty and status and nothing for your heart. If you were to refuse Darnley’s advances, at the least, you were confident the Moriartys would respect your decision.

Even so, you didn’t want to cause any more trouble for them. If you couldn’t agree to the idea of marriage, perhaps a date or two would suffice, right?

Just the thought made you feel sick. 

“Well, what do you say, my lady? Will you allow me the pleasure of courting you?”

You knew you had to keep up appearances. You couldn’t allow for cracks to show in the perfect and amicable facade the Moriartys had carefully crafted. You knew that well, and yet…

This was a proposal that not even death itself could bring you to accept.

“I’m sorry, my lord, but I must sincerely refuse.”

Lord Darnley stared at you in alarm. “Come again? You didn’t just say no to my advances, did you?”

Your heart rate quickened as his words grew heated, and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to take off and hide somewhere safe and quiet in the manor’s garden, away from other people who might come up with even more ridiculous propositions.

“It’s just as you heard, my lord. I must decline.”

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as Lord Darnley stared straight into your eyes, not blinking for several long moments. Your hands had begun to shake as you feared that you’d just begun tarnishing the reputation of the Moriarty family. Truly, there were fewer things more terrifying than a nobleman who felt he’d been insulted, and the consequences for such an offense would be nothing short of dire.

“Lady [Name], you are in no place to refuse my offer. You said yourself that no other man has even brought up the idea of marriage to you! Are you truly so brazen that you would reject the prospects of a life in union with mine? We all know who makes the decisions around here, and they’re certainly not made by women—!”

“My good sir, I believe you’ve said quite enough.”

A small gasp left your lips as Albert sneaked a hand around your waist, still carefully holding his glass of wine in the other. You searched his face for an answer as to what he was scheming, but he simply smiled—a true one this time—wordlessly reassuring you that all would be well.

“You see, Lady [Name] may not have received an offer of marriage as of yet, but that is only because I have been quite busy protecting our beloved country. I wish to propose when I am able to be at home more often and thus can fulfill my duties as a devoted husband to my wife. So I must politely ask that you rescind your offer, lest you make yourself seem as though you chase after taken women.”

Propose? Husband?

If you were afraid of tainting the Moriarty image, Albert clearly didn’t share your concerns.

“Taken? Why, I—! You’re bluffing, Lord Albert! You’re not planning on marrying this woman!”

“And what has brought you to that incorrect conclusion?”

“If that were the case, you would have brought it up the moment I asked if she were single!”

“To be fair, you asked if she’d received an offer for marriage, not if she was currently available to court.”

You could practically see the steam coming out of Lord Darnley’s ears, his face growing redder with each passing minute. He was still unconvinced, and for good reason, too, but you weren’t about to let Albert’s kindness go to waste.

You placed a hand on Albert’s shoulder, smiling up at him as he redirected his full attention to you. “It’s true, my lord. My affections have been reciprocated by my dear Albert, and I am patiently waiting for him to ask me to marry him. It will be a proposal I shall readily accept.”

Darnley scoffed, a hand placed over his heart in disbelief. “And you had the gall not to tell me when I’d begun to question you? Either you’re a terrible liar, or you’re just hoping to humiliate me in front of all these guests!”

“I would never dream of deceiving or insulting you, my lord. I should have made my relationship status clear to you earlier. Please forgive my carelessness.”

“I still think this is some elaborate hoax the both of you are trying to pull off. If not to tarnish my good name, then to convince every noble here that you’re worth the status bestowed on you at birth.” Lord Darnley swiped a fresh glass of wine off the tray of one of the waiters walking by, the man watching in horror as the lord downed all of the liquid in one gulp. His cheeks had started to take on a flushed hue from the great amount of alcohol he’d consumed that night, and with the way things were going, he was sure to be drunk by the end of it. “Perhaps, Lady [Name],” Darnley continued, a lopsided smirk forming on his face, “you’ve been lying about your social status, and you’re hoping that your marriage to Lord Albert will secure you a place in the upper class.”

Anger surged through you at his utterly ridiculous theory. Darnley had unknowingly gotten one fact right: you were a nobody. When you’d been taken in by the Moriarty family, you had nothing to your name but pen, paper, and the clothes on your back. But you knew one thing for sure: you had worth as a human being, and no one, noble or otherwise, would be able to change that.

And marrying a noble for status? What a laughable suggestion. As if you’d stoop so low just for some so-called “honor” among the elite.

“Well, dear sir,” you began, discreetly hiding a smirk behind your gloved hand, “I had no idea you were so foolish as to even come up with such an inconceivable thought. I once held you in high regard as I’ve heard many within the nobility sing your praises, but your current behavior is quite unbecoming of a person of your stature.”

You heard Albert try, and fail, to stifle a laugh next to you. You quietly breathed out a sigh of relief to see that he’d chosen not to reprimand your strong words. If anything, he seemed eager to encourage them.

As Lord Darnley frantically signaled for a waiter to bring him more wine, Albert took the opportunity to lean down next to your ear, whispering a simple yet heart-pounding question, “[Name], would it be all right with you to play further into these roles of enchanted lovers?”

Your breath caught in your throat, butterflies beginning to form in your stomach. “Of course,” you said. If only you knew how I truly felt, you wouldn’t even need to ask.

He smiled down at you, a sight that only stirred up the butterflies even more, and pulled you closer against him. Meanwhile, his eyes bored into Lord Darnley’s frame, darkening with every passing moment. If there was no one else in that ballroom, you had no doubt Albert would have leapt at the chance to get rid of him.

When Lord Darnley had finished downing another glass of wine, his fiery countenance returned to you and Albert. “You both are frauds,” he spat. “Everyone else here might be too dim-witted to figure it out, but I’ll make them aware that you’re not the upstanding moral characters you believe that you are.”

“It’s a shame to hear such vile thoughts coming from your own mouth, good sir,” Albert sighed. “But if I must be honest, I don’t care what any noble in this room thinks of me or the house in which I rule over.”

“Oh? And why is that, good sir?”

“Because,” Albert answered, turning his body towards yours, his visage noticeably softening when his focus returned to you, “the only person I want to please is the woman I adore. Not one person in the nobility is worthy of praise or merit—no one but her alone.”

Setting aside his glass, Albert gingerly took your hand in his own, meeting your eyes to silently ask for your permission. At your nod of approval, he lifted your fingertips to his lips, placing a gentle and almost reverent kiss against them.

“I love her,” he said, his sweet gaze reaching the very depths of your soul, “and when the time is right, I will make her mine.”

His words were like a match igniting the fire blazing in your heart, the flames fed by your deep affections for him, growing with every beat that thumped in your chest.

Your breath caught in your throat as his hand came to rest against your cheek, his touch so light yet so dizzying, more intoxicating than any wine you’d had that night. 

Albert searched your eyes as all the feelings you’d tried to keep at bay finally came pouring in like waves. You were sure he could see it all: the admiration, the yearning, the love you’d kept locked away. But somehow he’d managed to find the matching key, the truth you’d been hiding for all these years finally at his reach.

His fingers traveled along your cheek and down to your jaw, this thumb tracing patterns against your skin. You were still dazed from his words to Darnley, but you brought yourself to meet Albert’s gaze once more, curious to see what truths you could uncover in his own expression.

And you wished you hadn’t, because when you saw the affection so clearly present in them, you wanted nothing more than to throw yourself into his arms and kiss him until the night turned into day.

Albert wasn’t oblivious, and you knew it. Whatever people thought of him as—a genius, a young prodigy, a man of great knowledge—his ability to read people was beyond the average person’s comprehension. And you knew when he’d finally figured out what the person he’d been surveying was hiding. His lips would quirk upwards ever so slightly, the dimples on his face just beginning to show, and he’d cock his head to the side, pleased with his findings.

And that was exactly how he was looking at you.

You’d placed your heart out in plain view of his observant eyes, and he’d figured you out. But now that he knew of your feelings for him, what was he planning to do with them?

Albert’s thumb drifted from your jaw down your lips, careful not to brush off the lipstick staining them. He stared at them for several moments, deep in thought, before he returned his eyes to yours, a single question hidden within them.

May I?

Already breathless, you squeezed his hand once, closing your eyes as Albert leaned in painstakingly slowly, every nerve in your body alight with anticipation. This was the moment you’d only been able to imagine in dreams, on nights where you sat wordlessly under the stars, silently wishing upon them in vain. They couldn’t grant you your desires. They couldn’t give you everything you ever wanted. You were the only one with the power to seize your opportunity and make your own wish come true.

And as Albert’s lips finally fell on yours, you smiled.

Your greatest wish was being granted right before your very eyes.

His lips tasted faintly of wine, and the subdued scent of his cologne still lingered on his collar. Combined with the warm and comforting touch of his hand cupping your face, your senses were overwhelmed in the most wonderful of ways. It felt as if you’d begun to float, brought into a fairy tale-esque trance where the entire world grew still except for you and Albert.

Time had stalled to allow you this moment of pure, undeniable bliss that not even the corrupt powers of this world could take away from you.

With his lips still on yours, Albert’s hand snaked further around your waist, gently pulling you closer against him. You practically had no room left between the two of you, and so in a moment of boldness, you placed one hand on his shoulder, the other on his chest, right above his heart. Even through his suit, you could feel it beating wildly.

It only made you wonder: did he truly mean what he’d said earlier? Did he really harbor such affection for you? Did he really intend…to make you his?

Before you could ponder anymore, Albert finally pulled away, cheeks faintly dusted with rose. He appeared somewhat dazed himself, but he kept his composure, still well aware of where the two of you were at the moment.

But this time when he turned to Darnley, he smirked, practically beaming from head to toe with delight as he spoke. “Well, Lord Darnley, do you believe us now?”

If looks could kill, both of you would have succumbed to that man’s rage.

Darnley’s hands gripped his wine glass so tightly that it shattered onto the floor, the remnants of wine staining his once perfectly polished suit. Other nobles stopped their conversations and turned to him upon hearing the commotion, a few of them even pulling out handkerchiefs.

“Sir, let me get you a new glass,” a waiter spoke, holding his hand out to take the broken one from him. But Lord Darnley was already fuming, and he shoved the waiter to the side, smashing the rest of the wine glass against the floor.

“You will pay for this,” he snarled. Sending you one final glare, he turned on his heel, marching out of the ballroom, hopefully never to be seen again (at least for the night).

“Well,” Albert breathed, laughing as he ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t think he’ll be bothering us anymore.”

“You’re right…Thank you, Albert.”

“What are you thanking me for?” he asked, gaze drifting back to yours. “I’ve done nothing to warrant your gratitude.”

You shook your head. “You have, Albert. You didn’t have to step in and save me from Darnley’s advances, but you did, even though doing so could have tarnished your family name. I’m indebted to you.”

Albert frowned ever so slightly, and you cocked your head to the side, confused. After a few moments, his gaze flickered to the people dancing around the room, his cheeks still tinged a beautiful red. “If you thought I was doing all that just to be a gentleman,” he murmured, “then I don’t know what it would take to make the truth clear to you...”

Well, suddenly you were the one left blushing. 

“It’s not that. I…I don’t want to assume anything more, not when you’re such a precious person to me. I’m just scared of ruining what we have between us.”

Albert turned his attention back to you, using the hand that was still on your waist to pull you close to him again. Taking your other hand in his, he lifted it up to his lips, your faces now just mere inches apart.

“And what if I were to say that I do want something more?”

You almost wanted to pinch yourself to make sure it wasn’t all a dream.

But you still felt the press of his lips against yours, took in the smell of his cologne, and memorized the touch of his fingers running along your cheek. It was not a dream. It was even better.

Albert leaned down next to your ear, his breath fanning against your skin. “If one kiss isn’t enough to convey how much my heart yearns for you, then allow me to kiss you until you’re breathless, and no more words of doubt are left on your tongue.”

Albert smiled as your face grew redder, and with the way he bit his lip, you knew he was struggling not to comment on it.

“For a noble, you sure lack any semblance of shame, Master Albert."

Albert shook his head and chuckled to himself, that mischievous glint having once again returned to his eyes. “Keep teasing me and you’ll find out just how shameless I can be, darling.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Do you want to find out?”

Despite your flustered state, you couldn’t help but laugh, squeezing Albert’s hand tighter in yours. “If you want to kiss me so badly, do so in a place that’s actually romantic, will you?”

Taking you by the hand, Albert began to lead you outside of the ballroom and into the rose gardens. “Of course, and I’ll take my time to make sure I kiss you properly.”

You made a mental note to thank William and Louis for letting you tag along to the ball. If all went well, they would end up becoming your own brothers-in-law, after all.

But that could wait until you finally had Albert’s affections all to yourself.

[sopebubbles]

Two

Masterlist

Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Chapter summary: the boys try to find your pack and face some painful truths.

Warnings: I feel like I should warn you that mc does not appear on screen at all for this whole chapter, language, honestly it's just pretty fuckin angsty.

Wc: 4k

The ride through the kaleidoscope of traffic lights and street lamps passed in near silence as they got closer to your address. Jungkook didn't notice, as caught up as he was in his own head, but for Yoongi the tension was excruciating. With one hand still on the wheel he stretched the other out to grip Jungkook's arm.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jungkook turned slowly to look at the other. "Talk about what?"

With a knowing smile that wasn't truly happy at all, Yoongi slid his hand down to grasp Jungkook's fist, which had been clenched to trembling on his thigh.

"Whatever is bothering you."

Jungkook rubbed his forehead and sighed, consciously unclenching his fist to let his fingers slot between Yoongi's and take the comfort the alpha's large, warm hands offered. He wouldn't really know where to begin. He'd seen so much shit today, the worst parts of society, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. When he first became a cop less than a year ago, he thought he could make a difference, make this world a safer place for everyone in it. But he'd quickly learned that more often than not he was merely a witness, someone who gathered the pieces to say this is what happened when something terrible occurred and to pray for justice that would likely never come. Sometimes it was just a bit too much to handle or to speak of.

Yoongi knew that all too well. And Jungkook knew the offer to talk was just that, an offer, not a demand. Like Jungkook and Jimin, Yoongi saw horror on a daily basis, and he knew there were times that there weren't words to speak. All the pack knew there was an overwhelming amount of injustice all around them. Jin saw so much evidence of it in his office where he worked within the legal system to try and make a difference. But none of them saw it as viscerally each and every day the way the three of them did.

"I can't stop thinking about the phone call with that woman. The way she sounded…not just disgusted but shocked. She really had no idea that Y/N isn't Sap. How is that even possible?"

Yoongi shrugged. "It's not uncommon for Lykos to try to pass for Sapiens in the workplace. It's usually only betas who can get away with it but," he shrugged again. "You said it was a bar right? Between scent blockers and so many other people, maybe it's easy to hide. She gets better wages, better tips. Even though lots of professions aren't required to disclose a second gender, there are plenty of assholes out there that won't hire an omega. Or an alpha for that matter," Yoongi added.

Jungkook sneered. "I still can't believe there are betas out there who honestly think it's better for them to pretend to be Saps. I could never imagine doing that. To just disown your entire heritage like that?" He shook his head and stared out the window.

Yoongi just pursed his lips. He didn't think he could explain it to Jungkook, nor did he think it would matter at the moment. It was good that Jungkook was a proud Lykos, that he was proud of his family and his pack. But Yoongi knew from experience that it wasn't so easy for everyone. Passing for Sapien was, in most cases, a uniquely beta privilege. It was probably even harder for alphas than omegas in Yoongi's opinion. If Yoongi could have passed for Sapien or if alphas weren't so strongly discriminated against, he might have gone to med school and become a doctor. Not that Yoongi was complaining. He was proud to do his job most of the time, even if it wasn't everything he had once dreamed. Luckily, Yoongi didn't have to continue the conversation because the GPS on his phone told them they had arrived.

The building they were looking at was a dingy, dilapidated brown that hadn't seen a fresh coat of paint in several decades. Just as well. The building would probably be better off torn down than renovated.

"Jesus," Yoongi muttered under his breath. Jungkook unbuckled his seat belt. "Wait, let's have a plan. You wanna do good cop, bad cop?" Yoongi asked, gesturing first to his partner and then to himself.

Jungkook shook his head but there was a smile on his lips. "How about a cop and a concerned citizen."

Yoongi sighed. "Sounds lame, but okay."

The pair exited the vehicle and walked briskly up to the front door. The external entrance to the building didn't appear to have any functional lock, and Yoongi's alpha growled in his head at the lack of security as they walked right in the door. Inside, they could hear several TVs playing loudly, probably trying and failing to drown out the sound of the couple fighting on the second floor who they heard as Jungkook navigated them to the unit printed on your license. The mixture of scents in the building was just as loud. Everyone living in the building must be Lykos. When they arrived at #23–only the gold 2 was still present on the door while the 3 was outlined by peeling brown paint–Jungkook rapped on the door with three firm, decisive knocks. Yoongi could practically hear every asshole in the building clench at the sound of what could only be a cop's knock. He had to suppress a chuckle.

After a few seconds, they heard the sound of a chain and several deadbolts make way so that a young Lykos could open the door a few inches. By the smell of her, Yoongi would guess she was a beta.

"Good evening, ma'am. We're sorry to bother you. We're looking for the home of a woman named Y/N Y/L/N. Does she live here?"

"No, sir. She doesn't live here." The woman replied mechanically. Jungkook couldn't read her expression from behind the door.

"Please, we need to get in touch with her family. If you have any information about her," Jungkook pressed.

The woman hesitated a moment before speaking again. "Wait just a moment."

She closed the door on them and Jungkook and Yoongi shared a look of raised eyebrows. The former hoped to hear the slide of the last chain, but seconds ticked by and when she returned the door remained blocked. The woman passed several envelopes through the small space.

"I think she must have been that sad omega that lived here before me. I've been collecting these. Meant to take them to be returned to sender but I keep forgetting. Maybe you can get them to her."

Jungkook took the envelopes, not knowing what else he could do. He cleared his throat. "Thanks."

The beta closed the door once again without another word.

Jungkook heaved a defeated sigh and turned back to Yoongi. He flipped through the various envelopes he had been given. Past dues and final notices in among the junk. Just as they were about to walk toward the exit, a door on the opposite side of the hall opened, and a man stood against the door jam with his arms crossed.

"You looking for that little omega girl?" The tall man asked. Yoongi didn't need to smell him to know he was an alpha. He didn't want to smell him.

"Maybe. You know anything about her?" Jungkook replied vaguely.

"Y/N, right?" Jungkook gave a curt nod. "She lived across the hall for a year and a half. Three weeks ago she was evicted," the alpha informed him. Jungkook looked down at the late bills in his hand. That made sense.

"Any idea where she lives now? Or how to get in touch with her pack?" Yoongi chimed in.

The man gave an amused smile and shook his head. "This is not a place for people with packs," he answered with a gesture toward the general state of the place. "People in this building are usually lone wolves," he added. "Not that I didn't offer to help her with her heats, you know? I'm a helpful guy, especially for a pretty little omega like that."

Jungkook swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat while Yoongi merely stared the man down with a stoney look usually reserved for people who walked a little too close to Hoseok.

"Yeah, thanks for your help," Jungkook muttered as he walked past the man's door and down the hall toward the exit. Yoongi held his stance until Jungkook was a few paces ahead and then fell in line.

The drive back home was even more silent than before, and when they finally arrived they were surprised to find the house just as quiet. All five of their pack members were still awake, but no one spoke as Hoseok sat at the entrance to the hallway and stared down Namjoon and Taehyung. Jin cradled Jimin in his lap with his face buried in Jimin's scent gland. Or maybe it was Jimin that was holding him down.

"What's going on here?" Yoongi chuckled as he dropped his keys into the communal dish.

"These spoiled little alpha fucks have forgotten what the word no means," Hoseok replied, arms flexing as the crossed tightly over his chest.

"Is that so?" Yoongi asked with a raised brow.

"Yes, and just in case you've forgotten too: it means you cannot mount strange omegas without their consent, and consent cannot be given in the middle of heat," Hoseok said tightly.

"Jesus, did you jump her?" Jungkook asked, looking at his mates.

"No. We did not jump her!" Namjoon insisted just a little too forcefully.

"But you would have!" Hoseok fired back. "Alpha scum."

"You're acting like we're pigs or something," Taehyung grumbled.

"You are pigs," Jimin offered from behind him.

"You guys don't get it," Jin finally broke in, showing his face for the first time. "It's not like we want to fuck her. It's just a need. We are alphas, it's our duty to breed an omega in heat."

Yoongi shook his head as he joined his fellow alphas on the couch, squeezing in between Jin and Taehyung before pulling Jimin half-way into his lap to get a sniff because yeah, your scent had saturated every molecule of air inside the house. "Yeah, I don't think that's gonna fly this time, Jin."

"Look, we are doing our best to control ourselves here. Can you give us some credit?" Namjoon asked, but he only met with Hoseok's stony glare.

"Do you think her actual alphas will be thanking you for your bare minimum decency?" He turned his head to Jungkook. "Speaking of which, did you find them?"

Jungkook sat down near Hoseok and for once made an effort not to let his scent spread out, not until he could level himself out. The omega was on high alert, and didn't miss the pungent edge of mildew coming from him. Hoseok grabbed his sleeve and tugged until the beta scooted closer.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He urged as he ran fingers through Jungkook's hair.

The youngest sighed. "She doesn't live there but she used to. An old neighbor said she got evicted a few weeks back."

"No forwarding address?" Jin asked, fighting to keep his clarity.

"Neighbor said she was a 'lone wolf,'" Yoongi added, voice muffled by Jimin.

"Alone?" Someone echoed as Jungkook rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"That place…it was awful. Even though I see it all the time—I don't think. I come home every night and I let myself forget that there are people out there with no pack, who are struggling just to survive."

"Kookie," Hoseok cooed, rubbing a hand up and down his mate's back.

"We're very lucky," Jin agreed.

"There are so many loners these days. We're trying so hard to get kids into good packs, but it can be tough to find the right fit. And so many of them have trust issues or have never had a pack…they don't know what they're getting into at all. It scares me to think that could have been me," Jimin reflected. It was only a handful of years ago that a chance meeting with Yoongi had led him to his home. Jimin's light scent and lack of a family history often excluded him from groups and from forming proper bonds with other Lykos. He was the last to join their pack, but it was always a blessing.

The sadness filling the room and his mates caused panic to rise in Hoseok's chest. His fingers curled into Jungkook's shirt. "Maybe the neighbor was wrong. Maybe she moved out to move in with a pack!" He suggested with forced cheerfulness. "Did you find any other leads in her bag?"

Jungkook shook his head. "I didn't have a chance."

Hoseok popped to his feet. "I'll go get it from the room!" He paused as he turned. "Keep your eyes on those four," he added before padding to your door and closing it behind him in a futile attempt to keep your heavy scent inside.

"I was just reading an article today about how pack life is healthier for people. Omegas live 8 years longer on average as part of a pack than alone," Namjoon told them just to fill the silence. He was one of the lucky ones, like Jin, Hoseok, Tae and Jungkook, who had only ever known pack life. For them any other way seemed inconceivable. They'd gone from pups to their own mature pack without ever living one night on their own, but even the thought of it ached with unbearable loneliness. Lykos were not meant to be alone.

Hoseok returned a moment later, large black purse in hand.

"How is she?" Yoongi asked.

Hoseok gave a dramatic eye roll. "She's fine."

"Hyung," Tae whined.

"She's so fucking out of it she doesn't know where she is right now, Taehyung."

That did not soothe any of the alphas fraying nerves.

"Maybe we could just cuddle–"

"No." Hoseok cut Namjoon off. "You are not going in there for anything. End of discussion."

He dropped the bag on the floor in front of Jungkook, who opened it and began to carefully sort through your belongings. At the top of the bag was a change of clothes that he couldn't stop himself from taking a sniff of, catching your normal crisp apple scent instead of the gooey apple pie you were giving off tonight. The trace on the shirt was so faint it was almost drowned out among the other smells in the house.

"Let me smell it," Namjoon chirped before he could stop himself.

"Don't you feel embarrassed?" Hoseok returned quickly and harshly, and Namjoon cowed his head because he did.

Jungkook merely set the clothes to the side and continued to search. Next he pulled out two boxes of extra strength scent blockers, the kind that go inside your nose so you don't smell anyone around you, and then a bottle of scent spray that you bought at a Sap store. It smelled similar to your apple, but more artificial and layered with other scents.

"I guess this is how she passes," Jungkook mumbled as he set the items in front of Hoseok, who picked up the bottle and sniffed its top, wrinkling his nose at the chemical smell. Your scent was much nicer than that.

The pack's attention was drawn to a rattling sound before Jungkook pulled out a large plastic medicine bottle. He looked briefly at the label before shaking the bottle and then handed it to Hoseok.

"If she had a full bottle of heat suppressants, why did she go down like that?" Jungkook wondered aloud.

The omega beside him unscrewed the cap and shook a single pill into his hand. "Holy fuck! I didn't know they were this big! How does anyone swallow that?"

"Let me see?" Jimin asked. He was probably more familiar with heat suppressants than any other pack member because they were required in order to stay in pretty much any mixed-gender shelter, and even in many single-gender ones. Hoseok replaced the cap and tossed the bottle across the room. Jimin picked it out of the air with one hand and brought it down in front of him and Yoongi. "Where the fuck did she get these?" Jimin asked after reading the label.

"What is it?" Jungkook asked. It wasn't something he was particularly well-versed in since Hobi had never taken any. And he'd never had any other omega.

"I've only ever heard about these," Yoongi said, taking the bottle from Jimin. "Some omega activists are trying to get these banned. They have mega doses of hormones to stop heats, but they can cause permanent damage to an omega's reproductive system. I've also heard that most omegas don't like to take them unless they have to because the side effects are really harsh."

"I've heard rumors that some of the shelters give them out to omegas who want to stay," Jimin added.

"Is this one of them?" Jungkook asked when he found a crumpled flier in your bag. The paper showed a posed group of people wearing smiles outside a generic looking building in the downtown area. It also stated the hours of operation and contact information. Jimin held out a hand and Jungkook passed it through the alphas to him.

Jimin gasped quietly. "This is the worst shelter in town. The people who run this are fundamentalists who think that Lykos are abominations. They preach that we are unnatural and against god. Kids sometimes come to us from there and have said they were prevented from nesting or sharing beds with others. I'm sure they gave her these before letting her in but-" That didn't answer how you had ended up in your current state.

Jungkook thought he was going to be sick, and he wasn't alone.

"Why would anyone go to an organization like that?" Taehyung wondered, his hand sliding into Namjoon's.

"Some people don't have any choice," Jimin answered.

Everyone sat in quiet thought for a moment until the sound of Jungkook's sob broke from his chest. Six heads snapped in his direction, but only one spoke up.

"Jungkook, come here, baby," Jin said with arms held open. Jimin moved down to sit over Namjoon and Taehyung while Yoongi squeezed to make room for Jungkook. In spite of being a beta, Jungkook was just a little too large to sit comfortably in the pack alpha's lap, but he sat down and let Jin pull his legs over his lap and snuggled into his chest. "Tell alpha what's going on," Jin cooed.

Jungkook tried to calm his sobs, which got easier when Yoongi pressed himself against the beta's back. It took a minute before he was able to speak, but no one rushed him.

"I saw an omega get killed today," he finally said in a watery voice. "He was just a couple years younger than Y/N. He was alone and he was shot by some hateful Sap, for no reason. And all I could think at the time was where is his pack? Why didn't they protect him? But he didn't have a pack. There wasn't anyone to call. And then we found Y/N. And I just…why isn't there anyone to call?"

Jin hugged the man tighter to his chest and let him cry. "It's okay, Kook. Let it out. It's okay. There are four good alphas here and no one is going to get hurt," he assured in a soft voice.

Jungkook sucked in the deepest breath he could before he pulled away and leaned into Yoongi. "Sorry, it was kind of a fucked up day," he said as he wiped his eyes.

Yoongi gave his arm a squeeze, one that said he was sorry there were so many fucked up days, because Yoongi always knew more about them than the others, because sometimes Yoongi and Jungkook would lay in the nest in the spare room and whisper the things that haunted them before they could go to sleep.

"You should have told me before we went out, Kookie. We didn't have to go." Jimin reached a hand out across the alphas and Jungkook took it.

"I'm glad we did though." He didn't want to think what it would be like otherwise.

"Pup, you need to tell us when things are weighing on you like that," Hoseok chided, still rooted to his spot on the floor.

"I honestly can't bring that to you all the time," Jungkook admitted.

"We’re your pack, Jungkook-ah," Jin reminded him. "It's our job to share your burden, especially when it's too hard."

"I'll try."

Hoseok sighed. "It's late. Everyone, go to bed. We can decide what to do next in the morning."

No one argued with the omega. The tone of the conversation had dampened their yearning for you in the other room.

"Are you coming, my love?" Jin asked with an arm outstretched to pull him up.

Hoseok shook his head. "You all go on."

"Honey, you can't sit here all night."

"I'll get some things settled for her and then I'll sleep on the couch. No one will get past me."

Jin pouted. "But it won't be the same in the nest without you. You haven't even gotten a chance to build it up yet. How can we sleep there?" Seokjin always became so codependent when he was sleepy.

Hoseok's resolve cracked just a little.

"Hobi, you go up. I'll stay down here. I think I'd be more relaxed that way anyway," Jungkook suggested. It would be easier to rest if he knew you were safe from danger. Is this what it felt like to be an alpha all the time?

Hoseok grumbled but he was already giving in. "I can't let you go to sleep smelling like that."

With a wave of the omega's hand, all of his packmates gathered around Jungkook and marked wherever they could reach until he smelled like the unique blend of scents that to him smelled like home. When they finally backed away, Jungkook wore a dopey, scent-high smile, and Hoseok could go upstairs to his nest with one fewer worry.

Once they had all gone up to bed, Jungkook took a thick blanket from the hall closet that was too thick to use this time of year and laid it out on the floor in front of your door along with a pillow from the couch. He thought briefly about going in to check on you, but he honestly wasn't sure he would be able to stop himself from climbing in the nest to cuddle you. He couldn't stop thinking about the way they wouldn't let you sleep with others in the shelter, or how you had probably slept alone for at least a year and a half prior to that. But Hoseok was right about boundaries and consent, and he could be good if he just stayed on this side of the door. If you couldn't be comforted, you could at least be safe.

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[thedelicatearcher]

lazy days with finnick odair

a satisfied hum escaped your lips when finnick fed a piece of pie into your mouth. this definitely wasn’t the plan for today, but you weren’t complaining. finnick had promised to take you to the market that evening, unaware that it was a special day. after one of the district 4 tributes in the last hunger games ended up becoming a victor, the capitol had been rewarding the district throughout the year with several deliveries of luxury garments, resources from other districts, and exotic fruits and food that you would never have seen in person if not for the victors.

the look on your face as you observed all the shiny and new stuff in the market was one of sheer astonishment. on the other hand,the look on finnick’s face was one of disgust. he would never understand how buffets or silk fabrics could ever mend the heartbreak of so many parents who now have to live in quiet homes with empty hearts.  sensing finnick’s discomfort, you suggested going back home instead.

“honey,” you pulled him out of his trance, “let’s go home. i can cook something for you, and we can cuddle to sleep.” instantly, his whole demeanor changed. he tried to act as if nothing was wrong. “no, sweetheart. i promised to take you to the market and here we are.” his protests weakened as you gently dragged him out of the market. 

the year finnick won his games, you were fascinated by all the novelties, your eyes shone at the luxurious yet simple truffles and the high quality clothes. however, when your gaze met finnick’s broken one, all material things stopped mattering and the need to be there for your then best friend overpowered you. that day paralleled today, with the difference being that eight years later, finnick’s eyes now hid resentment and an immense sadness.

the walk home was quiet. your arm linked with your lover’s, and the only sound was the calm waves of the nearby beach. his victor’s house was long forgotten. years ago, he had moved into your home and made himself comfortable. the walls were adorned with several pictures of your small milestones: one showed you proudly displaying a fish the size of your torso after a family fishing trip that finnick happily joined. another picture showed your younger selves proudly holding diplomas while wearing robes far too big for you. yet another showed your innocent, youthful smiles after you had buried finnick in the sand and posed for a picture. though it was taken fifteen years ago, it still made you let out a lighthearted chuckle. 

as you locked the door, finnick dragged his feet and collapsed onto the couch. a sigh you couldn’t quite decipher escaped him. “honey,” you cooed as you went to cuddle with him, positioning your head on his chest, “what’s wrong?” another deep sigh fell out of his lips, “i don’t like going out whenever there’s a capitol spectacle in the district,” he murmured sheepishly, his hand gently running through your hair. “it’s okay. we don’t have to go out,” you reassured him,  turning your head to look up at him, “we can have plenty of fun here.”

the melancholic frown on his face faded, eventually changing into a cheeky smile. “what are you going to cook for me, chef?” he asked. “you mean, what are WE going to cook?” the mere idea of you making dinner alone was laughable. after years of living together, there were zero instances of you cooking alone when your boyfriend was at home. he loved cooking for you, but more than that, he adored cooking with you.

as he chuckled at your words, finnick couldn’t help but hold you tighter to him. before standing up, the blond reached for your hand and pressed soft kisses on your knuckles. “well, sweetheart, maybe you should pamper me one day.” his now cheerful figure walked to the kitchen and put his apron on. “i would, if you let me, finn,” you teased him lightheartedly.  

while finnick put certain ingredients on the counter, he said “i’m craving something sweet.” he winked at you mischievously, “is a pecan pie fine by you?” before he could finish setting out the ingredients, you grabbed the bowl, beating him to it. nodding excitedly, you started mixing the different sugars and the butter. “you know,” you began with a sweet grin, reminiscing, “who would have told our 7-year-old selves that we’d be living together?” a soft chuckle rumbled from your lover’s chest as he stirred the rest of the ingredients. “i mean, we dreamed of flying to mars together and living there for the rest of our lives.” 

“you know that’s not what i meant, honey,” your belly laughter caused his chuckles to increase. “well, sweetheart,” he reached to press a peck on your lips, “if it’s worth anything, my future has always included you. even when we were seven, and our worst enemy was your mom for not letting us have a sleepover.” 

after placing the pie in the oven, you ran to the living room to put on a movie and lie down on the couch. “c’mere,” you pleaded with open arms. not one second later, he was lying on top of you. as if he were a purring cat, delighted hums escaped him as you ran your hands through his hair. “sweetheart,” he murmured, his head being victim of your loving touches, which dozed him off and distracted him from the movie, “i love you.” 

“i love you too, finn.”

thirty minutes into the movie, the alarm you had set for the pie rang, startling both of you. “sweet little jesus,” he exclaimed with his hand on his chest. after taking the pie out of the oven and letting it cool for a while, you served each of you a slice. finnick was right behind you, carrying two glasses of milk to complement the dessert. 

the rest of the evening was spent cuddling on the couch, watching whatever was on, and then getting completely lost in each other, getting drunk on each other’s thoughts. this time, it was your turn to lie on top of finnick. “honey,” you called his pet name with your head comfortably placed on his tummy, “i fear we are going to be gassy tonight.”

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Witte Solstice - Chapter 27

Cover art by @leespinoodle.

Fic written by me (enchantedchocolatebars) and @leespinoodle.

Summary: It's winter in the Boiling Isles, and Caleb prepares to celebrate the solstice with his wife, his friends… and hopefully, with Beardo Philip! Philip swears he'll never partake in the satanic holidays of those demonic witches. But when Caleb invites him over for the solstice��� maybe he'll find himself making an exception.

Ao3 version

The table was quickly taken over by talk and laughter as the guests began conversing and passing dishes around.

Caleb bowed his head, hands clasped, and quietly said grace to himself. Out of respect for him, Evelyn held off on eating until Caleb was done.

'Look at them eating that atrocious garbage...,' Philip practically gagged out in his mind as he scanned the table, watching some of the witches smile while trying one another's cooking while others freely fill their plates.

Meanwhile, Philip's was clear of any food.

'They're sickening,' he shuddered, shifting his gaze to Caleb, who he watched say his grace.

Gazing at his plate, his eyes widened.

He was genuinely surprised to see…

"Psst, Caleb," Philip whispered to his brother. "Is that... Are you about to eat... How did you...?"

Beside the traditional Boiling Isles cuisine on Caleb's plate, which he enjoyed but was only able to eat in limited amounts, was plenty of English cuisine that he had been able to throw together with human-friendly ingredients.

There was black pudding, of course, and pan haggerty, pease porridge, and cottage loaves, among other things.

"Is it the pudding you're eyeing?" Caleb asked. "Well, you know it's one of my favorites, so of course I had to make it while I was cooking. Would you like some?"

'Hmph! Of course Caleb cooked the pudding,' a well-pleased Philip thought to himself. 'It's the closest thing to English food.'

Philip soon began to take note of the other English dishes that surrounded the table.

Inwardly, he gave a satisfied chuckle.

'Heh, take that, vile witches! Our food is far more superior than yours!'

Caleb could talk endlessly about his love for living in the Demon Realm all he wanted, but Philip always had a hunch that he still maintained his roots to humanity in some way or another.

It brought him great joy to know that he was right.

"Perhaps...," Philip carefully answered in a gradual tone, ensuring that he didn't reject the offer immediately.

"But I'd like to know, did..."

'Come on, Philip, you can do this.'

"Did..."

'Her name merely has six letters.'

"Did..."

'Your plan! Your plan, Philip! Think about your plan! You can't botch up this opportunity to win your brother back! Just say her name already!'

"Did Evelyn..." Her name made Philip sick to his stomach, but he managed to keep his disgust inside.

"Assist you in cooking them? Not that it matters. I'm just curious to know if you prepared the pudding alone."

"The pudding was all me," Caleb said with a smile. "But Evelyn helped with the vegetables. We split most of the cooking."

"I see...," Philip said as he slowly shifted his eyes at Evelyn.

The corners of his mouth and his mustache moved up as he met her eyes and gave her a smile that seemed to be genuine.

However...

'Ha! Hear that, witch? Caleb cooked the pudding on his own! He realized that you were incapable of making English food and decided to refuse your assistance.'

Being a vile hag from the deepest, most darkest pits of Heck, Evelyn would have soiled the meal somehow, possibly killing his brother in the process, or so Philip believed.

The brunette gave his gaze to Caleb once more. "Jolly good then!" A peppy Philip picked up his plate and held it at his brother. "I would be delighted to try some."

Caleb filled Philip's plate before passing the dishes down the table for the rest of the guests to serve themselves.

Taking his full plate, Philip placed it down in front of him and began to stare at the sausages as if they were sprinkled with poison.

He was aware that Caleb had cooked them, but they were also prepared using ingredients from the Demon Realm.

This vile place.

Who knows what slew of demon diseases he could catch by simply taking a bite.

Philip's uncertainty continued as he squinted at his plate, and the guests who were serving themselves and sharing their dishes began to stare.

Whispering quickly commenced back and forth at the table.

Lifting his fork, the brunette lowered it to the pudding, cutting a morsel of the meat as he pierced the piece with his fork and slowly raised it to his mouth.

After a silent prayer to the Lord to send his soul to heaven, lest he pass away from this meal, he finally puts the piece in his mouth.

Slow and awkward chewing begins from Philip as he works the piece of food back and forth between his cheeks, acting as if it had the consistency and texture of a three-day-old overcooked slab of beef.

This goes on for nearly twenty seconds until he eventually decides to swallow.

Philip then swiftly shuts his eyes, ready to be greeted by the angels who guarded the golden gates of Heaven.

… As one blue eye peeks open, the other slowly follows suit.

The brunette blinks twice.

Philip was genuinely surprised to see himself still at the table, with everyone still staring at him, of course.

"I'm... alive?" an astounded Philip quietly and rhetorically asked, placing a hand on his heart to ensure that it was still beating.

"Uh...," one guest began. "Why… wouldn't you be??"

"I mean...!" Philip swiftly raised his fork high, shifting to a more cheery tone. "Delicious! Can't wait to finish the rest. Mmm!" He grinned and rubbed his stomach in circles.

The guests slowly turn their attention away from the awkward human as they go back to serving and sharing their food.

A sigh was breathed out by Philip, relieved to see that he was no longer the center of attention.

Looking in Caleb's direction, he directed a smile his way.

Caleb frowned at Philip's odd reaction, but quickly switched back to smiling once he noticed Philip was looking. He could see Evelyn rolling her eyes in his peripheral vision.

This was probably going to be a long night.

[kallie-den]

True Renaming

A lesbian witch makes a mistake and accidentally summons an incubus instead of a succubus... but decides that she can fix "him" with just a few tweaks to the demon's true name

This force-feminization story was written for my patrons, based on the results of one of the polls I regularly run on Patreon!

If you like my writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon!   For less than the price of a cup of coffee each month, you can get   immediate, early access to everything I write - along with exclusive stories and the ability to vote on what I write next. Your support helps  me keep writing and is greatly appreciated   <3

---

Ardat, incubus, took a moment to stretch as the brimstone smoke cleared, savoring every little sensation that came with being incarnated in a physical body - the cool air, the sound of his own heartbeat, the little strains of exertion as he experimentally lifted his arms. It had been too long. Far too long. Ardat had existed for eons, but summonings were becoming rarer and rarer. Now, finally, he was free to roam and corrupt the Earth once more.

Well, not free. Not yet. He had been summoned into a magic circle; a ring of symbols and salt that kept him bound to the spot. But that was merely a minor inconvenience. All Ardat needed to do was convince his summoner to lower their guard a little, and he had plenty of experience with that.

He was, after all, a sex demon.

Now that the smoke had almost cleared, he could just about see them. Ardat stroked his goatee, attended to his short, tufted, black hair, and plastered a winning, charismatic smile on his perfectly formed face. He struggled to keep it there when he noticed the expression his summoner was wearing.

Overwhelming frustration and disappointment.

That was a surprise. Ardat had been greeted in many ways - with awe, lust, shock, self-righteous contempt. But who would be disappointed with a sex demon they’d bound to their will and summoned from the bowels of hell itself?

A woman, for one. A goth, for another. The look of utter, icy disdain on her face looked like it was fixed there permanently, accentuated by her jet-black lipstick and thick, immaculate eyeliner. She had long, silky, black hair - plainly dyed - with layers of deep blue visible underneath, and her clothing was all fishnets, lace, and asymmetrical, flowing folds of black cloth. Her look was - in Ardat’s opinion - a little tacky, but she undeniably carried it off well, and her figure was on the softer, rounded, better-endowed side. Aradat certainly liked that. More for him to enjoy.

“Master,” Ardat said, his voice a low purr. He offered a low, theatrical bow. “Might I have the pleasure of your name? All the better to serve you, of course. Although I must confess a slight, ulterior motive. I desire to confirm my suspicion that your name is just as lovely as you are.”

It was a good line, and one that had made many would-be witches blush throughout history. So, Ardat had been hoping for a better response than an angry, disgusted: “Tch.”

He tilted his head, confused. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Lenora,” she said, with an air of clear reluctance. “I guess.”

“Have… I done something to offend you, master?” Ardat asked cautiously.

Lenora groaned and made a gesture like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re an incubus.”

“Of course.” Ardat took a moment to refresh his grin. “I am Ardat of the Second Circle. I am accomplished in pleasures far beyond the average mortal ken - and I am at your disposal, body and soul.”

Lenora simply rolled her eyes. “You don’t get it. I’m a lesbian.”

Ardat’s smile immediately faltered. “Then… if I may ask… why did you-“

“Because you were meant to be a succubus!” the witch exploded. “I wanted to get my mind blown, and I found an old grimoire talking about this ancient sex demon. ‘Ardat of Ur’. A succubus! And now I get… you.”

“Ah,” Ardat said awkwardly. “Well, gender and grammar in ancient proto-Sumerian can be a little tricky.”

Lenora glared daggers at him. “Now what am I supposed to do?”

“Master, I’m sure you know that labels are just words,” Ardat attempted, making his voice a thrilling, husky growl and arching his back to present his bare, sculpted chest to the witch. “Whatever you may consider yourself, why not try allowing me to please you? I’m sure I could find a way to change your feelings. Everyone’s a little flexible, under the right circumstances. Maybe you just haven’t found the right man.”

From the look on her face, he immediately knew he’d chosen the wrong tactic. “Gross,” Lenora spat, even more disgustedly. “Try that again, and I’ll banish you before you can blink.”

“Wait!” Ardat said hurriedly. “Don’t send me back! Not when I… when I have so much to offer you, that is.” He tried to sound simpering and pleasing; maybe she’d like that more. “I could easily help you to summon a demon a little more fitting for your tastes. Now, if you’ll just let me out of this magic circle, I’ll-“

Lenora snorted a laugh. “Nice try. But no. Part of the reason I’m so pissed is that, as you well know, I can’t attempt this ritual again until the next lunar-venusian conjunction. Which is also the reason I can’t afford to send you back to Hell.”

Hearing that gave Ardat the twinge of hope he needed. “Then, surely there must be some service I can perform for you, master,” he purred. “Simply name your heart’s desire, and I will happily provide - for the right price, of course.”

“I don’t think-“ Lenora abruptly broke off, and then started thoughtfully at Ardat. Hope swelled in his demonic chest. “Actually,” she began thoughtfully, “maybe there is something I can do with you.”

“Yes?” Ardat asked, cautiously optimistic.

“I do have you here, even if you’re not quite right,” Lenora mused, pacing across the room. “And I do still have an itch I could do with scratching.”

Ardat let out a filthy laugh. “I’d be more than happy to assist, master,” he purred. “I knew you would prove to be open-minded.”

Lenora threw him a dangerous look, but it faded from her face almost immediately, replaced by a wicked, satisfied smirk. Somehow, that worried Ardat much, much more than her anger.

“Open-minded? No,” Lenora said. “I’m just going to fix you.”

“F-fix?” Ardat’s worry was growing.

“Fix,” Lenora confirmed, grinning. “Succubus, incubus, how different can they really be? Anyway, that whole thing is way too binary to be real. I’m sure it can’t be so hard to turn one into the other.”

“Turn into-“ Ardat let out a nervous, incredulous laugh. “Very funny, master.”

“Oh, I’m not joking.” Lenora’s grin was steadily taking on a crooked, malevolent quality. “I’m a witch. A damn good one. You wouldn’t believe what I can turn people into.”

“That’s not the problem,” Ardat explained, sighing. “Demons aren’t like people. Who we are - our bodies, our personalities, our genders - aren’t, for want of a better word, malleable. They are unchanging; ontologically fixed to specific lingua-symbolic entities - better known by your kind as our ‘true names’.”

It was a little surprising that a witch capable of summoning a demon didn’t know that much, but Ardat wanted to make sure to nip this absurd notion in the bud. He needed to guide Lenora towards something he could truly tempt her with.

“Your true names, huh?” Lenora laughed and reached for an old, leather-bound book resting on a nearby table. “Like, for example… this?”

She flipped it open to a bookmarked page and held it up for Ardat to see. It sent a cold shiver down his spine. His true name was written in the pages.

Most people wouldn’t have recognized it as such, or as a name at all. It wasn’t in words - English words least of all. Instead, it was a complex, intricately-interwoven symbol, expanding to fill an entire page of a huge grimoire with headache-inducing artistic and geometric figures. And yet, it was his name. ‘Ardat’ was the corresponding vocalization, although, from a demon’s perspective, it was crude to the point of ugliness in how little information it truly conveyed. The symbol on the page in Lenora’s book told and defined everything about the incubus, from beginning to end.

Which was very, very bad.

Knowledge was power, both figuratively and literally. It didn’t mean Lenora could pull off the kind of insane transformation she seemed to be set on, but knowing Ardat’s true name meant there was plenty she was capable of. He was going to have to tread extremely carefully.

“Where did you get that?” Ardat hissed.

“It’s from ancient Sumeria,” Lenora answered, throwing him a smug, nasty look. “You see, my ancient proto-Sumerian is actually fucking great. I just misinterpreted one little part of your true name. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again. I had to pay a pretty penny for this grimoire, though. Time to see if it’ll all be worth it.”

“That…” Ardat sighed, exasperated. “You still can’t turn me into… well, into anything! That isn’t how this works. True names might be written in ink, but I can assure you, they’re metaphorically set in stone. There are only a handful of artifacts in existence with the power to change them.”

“C’mon.” Lenora started giggling. “You can’t just set me up like that twice in a row.”

Ardat’s heart sank. “S-surely you don’t-“

This time, she reached for a small, wood-carved box and opened it. Inside was a candle that looked ordinary at first, but when Lenora lit it with a well-used lighter, the wax started to glow with an unnatural, purple phosphorescence.

“An ur-candle,” Ardat whispered reverently.

Fuck.

“Let’s take it for a spin, shall we?” Lenora said. She set the grimoire bearing Ardat’s true name down on the table and lifted the ur-candle menacingly towards it.

“Wait!” Ardat called out in alarm. He’d only heard whispers about what was about to happen, but those alone were enough to terrify him. But he fell silent once Lenora tipped the candle, and allowed a little of its wax to drip onto his true name.

Ardat froze. He could feel something; an unnameable sensation that held him in its grip and made his head feel like it was going to split open. It was as if something was touching his very soul, especially when Lenora picked up an iron stylus and used it like a pen to move the molten wax around on the page. Disconcertingly, the ink underneath it, dried for thousands of years, started to bubble up and move with it. And just like that, his reality was rewritten.

It only took hold slowly, with the first changes beginning after the wax on the grimoire’s pages had already set, but its pace quickened rapidly after Lenora held up the book for Ardat to inspect. His true name, the sigil that was the incubus’s very being, was different now. The changes were slight and subtle, and to most people they would have meant nothing. But to Ardat, it was everything.

Only, that was no longer his name. The sigil now sounded out as something different. It would be-

“Aridat,” Lenora pronounced, in a strong, clear, commanding voice. “Your name is Aridat.”

Aridat’s head sheared, and they shook their head in futile denial. “N-no.”

“Your name is Aridat,” Lenora insisted.

“My name,” Aridat grunted through gritted teeth, straining to hold on to at least this, to at least the word, “is Ard… Ar… Ari…”

“Your name,” Lenora repeated patiently, “is Aridat.”

“My name is Ari… dat,” Aridat found themself agreeing, a pained look on their face. “No, it’s… my name is Aridat… Ard… Aridat.”

The new sound was such a small thing, like a breath, and that made it so poisonously easy for it to slip in between the consonants, making its presence felt only in how much softer their name suddenly sounded as it left the incubus’s lips.

“Aridat,” Lenora nodded. The grin on her face was now one of lurid, sadistic fascination. “Good.”

“My name is… Aridat?” Aridat was losing their conviction. It was hard to remain defiant when reality itself had turned against them. They could feel an immense pull toward acceptance like a lead weight on their shoulders.

“Aridat,” Lenora repeated again. The witch tilted her head, amused. “You’re even starting to look like an Aridat.”

Her comment drew attention to something Aridat had been trying to convince themself wasn’t real: the way their body suddenly seemed just as molten and pliable as the wax of the ur-candle, ready to be changed, reshaped, remolded. The sensation was almost imperciptible, though. So subtle it was almost like nothing was changing at all. Aridat had to force themself to truly notice what was happening to them. Their face was softening and rounding out, and their goatee fell from their face in wisps as it disintegrated into nothing. Aridat’s hair had grown inches in seconds, and their body lost its overbearingly masculine silhouette as their shoulders narrowed and their hips widened. They even became shorter.

Ardat had been manly. Strong. A straight woman’s fantasy brought to life. Aridat, it turned out, was androgynous. Even elfin.

It just went with the name, somehow.

“My name… is Aridat,” they said slowly. This time, Aridat’s voice was heavy with acceptance. It felt good to embrace it, just like it felt good to breathe after forcing yourself to stay underwater.

Their name was Aridat. It just was. And they were a them, apparently.

“Fuck,” Lenora breathed. “That was so hot.”

Aridat, still recovering from having their identity rewritten on a spiritual level, was shaking with rage. Reality had changed but, crucially, history hadn’t. They still remembered what they’d lost. They’d been Ardat. They’d been manly and strong. Now, just looking down at their body was accompanied by a hot lick of bitter humiliation. And it was all because of this accursed witch. If not for the magic circle marked on the ground, Aridat would have had their hands around her throat.

“Aridat,” Lenora said, “how do you feel?”

The worst part, the very worst, was the way their new name being called felt. It made their ears prick up and instinctively caught their attention. Aridat was their name now, and like it or not, they answered to it.

“I… feel…” Aridat replied slowly. How did they feel? It was impossible to say. Their head was a swirling mass of contradictions. Memories that didn’t match reality. Old instincts that didn’t match their new personality, which seemed somehow more passive. More pliant. “I… don’t know.”

“That makes sense.” Lenora nodded thoughtfully. “It looked wild. I’m sure feeling it is even crazier, even though I was trying not to scramble you too badly. Although…” She looked Aridat up and down pointedly. “Maybe I wasn’t ambitious enough.”

Hearing that made Aridat’s blood run cold. “W-what?”

“Don’t get me wrong!” Lenora held up her hands in mock sincerity. “You look great, really. Normally I wouldn’t be so picky. I can roll with androgynous. But tonight I was really looking for something more on the ‘succubus’ end of the spectrum.”

“Fuck you,” Aridat hissed.

“I’m sorry!” Lenora’s grin was already breaking through her face. “This isn’t an exact science, you know. But now that I’ve tested it out, I think it’s safe to say that we can push this just a little bit further.”

“Wait!” Aridat begged as she lifted up the ur-candle again. They couldn’t let her change them any further. This was bad enough, but at least their old identity, their old name, was still within sight. “Stop, you can’t-“

Lenora ignored them, and tipped more enchanted wax onto their true name.

Aridat immediately felt it again; that terrifying sense of displacement as their true name began to flow like fresh ink. It was ice-cold and shockingly intimate, and made them uncomfortable aware of all the ways they were being changed. It made them feel thin; so thin that they’d fold like paper under their own weight.

The sensation doubled when Lenora took her pen to the molten wax. This time she was more daring and less careful, streaking the wax and ink across the page in huge strokes. Aridat felt each one in their soul, even as they felt that name, newly-given, already beginning to slip away.

Once she was done, Lenora looked up. She was clearly proud of her penmanship, and looked at the incubus thoughtfully.

“Your name,” she said, in that slow, deliberate way, “is Aridata.”

Aridata’s heart skipped a beat. “C-c’mon,” she whined. “It’s n-not.”

“Your name,” Lenora said again, more firmly, “is Aridata.”

As futile as it might have been, Aridata couldn’t help but try to fight it. “My name,” she struggled. “Is… Ar… Aridat.”

Even that, though, was surrender, and they both knew it. Aridata still remembered the name ‘Ardat’, but she couldn’t bring herself to claim it. Not anymore. It wouldn’t feel right. She wouldn’t sound sure enough. But hearing her insist she was ‘Aridat’ now brought a maddening smile to Lenora’s face and made the demon feel weak.

And the way it came out of her mouth was just as bad. ‘Aridat’, but with a new openness at the end; a hint, a wisp, a breath of something yet to be sounded out.

“Your name is Aridata,” Lenora insisted simply.

Her words rippled over Aridata, making her shiver with their rhythm. “My name is Ari… Aridat… a… Ari…”

She was on the brink. Both of them knew it.

“Your name is Aridata.”

“My name… my name is… A-Aridata.”

As before, it was an incredible relief to say it. Aridata. That was her name. A-ri-da-ta. It sounded so different now. So light. That treasonous little ‘a’ appended to it, a whole syllable of femininity, opened up the entire name, making the harder consonants before it a mere prelude.

Aridata. It was a girl’s name.

Aridata knew what that must mean. She reached up and touched her face, and found it different. It was her face, and it wasn’t. It wasn’t changing; an old, defunct reality was simply washing away, revealing a newer reality that might always have been there. Aridata’s face was softer now. Less angular. She had wider eyes, petite brows, and a far less pronounced jawline. But that was absolutely nothing compared to what was happening to the rest of her body. Suddenly, Aridata had wide hips and curved thighs and, most distractingly of all, the distinct swell of breasts on her chest.

“Wow,” Lenora commented, wolf-whistling. “Now that’s more like it.”

“Fuck. You!” Aridata spat, and was shocked at how girlish her voice sounded. She couldn’t manage the same level of vitriol and spite as she had earlier.

“Maybe, soon.” Lenora giggled. “You know, that outfit suits you much better now.”

Aridata looked down at herself and almost choked. She was wearing the same clothing as before - black, tight-fitting, leather pants, and nothing else - but with her appearance it felt very different. She had gone from suave seducer to something much more butch, or perhaps tomboyish. Her hair, now mid-length, fit with that too. The whole thing felt like a pointed mockery, and that should have made Aridata violently angry.

Instead, it made her blush.

It was something about her chest. Having breasts, even small ones, made being topless feel very, very different. It made Aridata feel exposed; she was suddenly conscious of the air on her skin, and even more conscious of Lenora’s gaze on her body. Everything about it was undignified. Even succubi preferred tempting, alluring, suggestive clothes to simply going topless! Instinctively, Aridata moved to cover herself and started looking around for a stray item of clothing she could use. Only the look of mirth in Lenora’s eyes stopped her.

What was she doing? Aridata wasn’t some kind of blushing maiden. She was… a man? That didn’t sound right, even in her own head. But she knew she had to try and keep hold of that version of reality.

“What’s the matter?” Lenora teased. “You weren’t shy like this before. Isn’t that interesting?”

“Hey!” Aridata huffed. “That’s not-“

She broke off. She’d huffed. Since when did she huff? That wasn’t like her at all. Except it was now. Even her mannerisms were suspect. The things Lenora could do with her candle and Aridata’s true name went far beyond the superficial. Her mannerisms, her personality, her memories - all of them could be rewritten with no more than a stroke of a pen.

“Don’t worry,” Lenora said mockingly. “I enjoy you being more ladylike.”

“I’m. Not.” Aridata had to fight to keep her voice deep and even. “I-I’m a man.”

Lenora just looked at him pityingly. They both knew how false it sounded. Aridata’s voice was too high, too light, and the inner convictions of her nature were telling her otherwise, robbing her words of their conviction.

“Uh-huh,” Lenora replied, deadpan. “And who’s gonna believe that?”

“I…” Aridata spluttered. “I…”

“Then again,” Lenora added, making no attempt to hide her mockery. “Maybe you have a point. This look is good, but it’s not really what I was after. It’s more ‘female incubus’ than ‘succubus’, if that makes any sense.”

Aridata’s blood ran cold yet again as she realized what Lenora was hinting at. “N-no, wait!”

She wasn’t expecting Lenora to tilt her head and look thoughtfully at her. “OK. I’m waiting.”

“I…”

Aridata found herself speechless. She doubted anything she might say could dissuade Lenora, but there was too much at stake not to try. However, she wasn’t going to beg. She wasn’t. Aridata - Ardat, Ardat, she reminded herself - never begged. She tempted, she offered, she bargained, but she never begged. That just wasn’t how this was supposed to go. So… what could she offer? There was only one answer, however stomach-churning and humiliating.

The former incubus did her best to strike an alluring pose that showed off all her feminine assets. It came to her worryingly naturally, and she was effortlessly able to bend forward, back arched, chest pushed out, hips swaying, and put something approaching a suggestive half-smile on her face.

“I…” Aridata said falteringly. “I could… please you. Like this.”

She just had to hope that would be enough for her lesbian captor. Perhaps it almost was. Lenora had the look of someone flipping a mental coin. Once she made her mind, though, her eyes glinted wickedly, and Aridata knew she’d lost.

“Close,” Lenora conceded. “But I think we can do better.”

Before Aridata could argue, she once again tipped the ur-candle’s wax onto Aridata’s true name.

This time, Lenora didn’t even wait for the wax to settle and congeal before she started speaking. There was eagerness in her eyes, put there by unquestionable arousal.

“Your name,” Lenora announced, “is Aridatya.”

As she spoke she made it so, using her stylus to draw the wax across the grimoire’s page in big, thick strokes, obliterating the reality Aridatya had only just been growing accustomed to and replacing it with another.

“It is not!” Aridatya tried to insist. “My name is… is Ar… Ari… um… Arida…”

It was getting harder and harder to fight it. Her head was a swirling morass of different names, all of them so similar, all of which felt right and all of which felt wrong. But a new one had just appeared, echoing like a gong, sounding more and more right with each passing moment.

“Your name is Aridatya,” Lenora repeated. She sounded so firm, so sure, whilst Aridatya wasn’t sure about anything.

“My name is… Aridatya?” it came out like a question, and so Lenora nodded in agreement.

“Your name is Aridatya.”

Aridatya found herself nodding too. “My name is A-Aridatya.”

She just couldn’t bring herself to say anything else.

“That’s right.” Lenora’s stylus was still moving across the page, etching details in ink and wax, inscribing all the details of Aridatya’s soul.

“Aridatya…” Aridatya said it slowly, testing how the name felt on her tongue. Her name had become so long, so luxurious. That little ‘y’ made it sound even more feminine, and somehow fancy. Perhaps even exotic.

And… that was her, wasn’t it? It seemed to suit her perfectly, even though she would have struggled to say why. Did that mean she was exotic? Fancy? Feminine?

No. No, of course not. Ardat had never been those things, and that should have settled the question. But it didn’t. Ardat wasn’t real. Not anymore. There was just Aridatya.

Aridatya balled her hands into fists and scolded herself. She couldn’t let herself think that way. She was an incubus. A man, as remote as that now seemed. She had to remember that. She had to remember that none of this was right. She had to.

“It’s quite a name,” Lenora remarked, finishing her handiwork with a flourish. “Aridatya. I think Aridatya is very, very confident in her femininity. Don’t you? Aridatya sounds like a real girly girl to me. The kind of succubus who really revels in it.” Her smirk turned crooked once more. “At least, that’s how it looks in my handwriting.”

“W-what?” Aridatya was stunned as she felt changes washing over her. Nothing was more unsettling than feeling her reality alter. The changes themselves kept slipping beneath her notice; rather than experiencing the transformation directly, it was like she was always noticing the way reality had always been.

In this case, that meant noticing that her hair was longer, and that she was now wearing something different - a long, flowing nightgown, tailored to accentuate a body that was far, far more feminine than she remembered. Those were Aridatya clothes, apparently. It meant noticing that her face was slender and lips full, and her eyes adorned with smoky, sultry makeup. But more than that, it meant noticing how she felt.

It meant noticing that she liked it.

“No!” Aridatya cried out, desperate to give voice to her disgust before it fled. “That’s not right! I hate this.”

“You do?” Lenora feigned surprise, but couldn’t hide her amusement. “But you’re so pretty now.”

The heat, the warm glow of praise that Aridatya immediately felt, was dangerous. Preening was instinctive, as was posing pleasingly and shifting her weight from side to side to accentuate her hips. It took precious seconds for Aridatya to catch herself and plaster a scowl over the thin, devilish smile that had come naturally to her face.

“S-shut up,” Aridatya snarled, torn between forced resentment and reflexive pride.

“C’mon,” Lenora wheedled. “Aren’t you everything a succubus is supposed to be?”

That was a potent compliment, poisonous and sinister in how affirming it was. A succubus was supposed to be beautiful, feminine and seductive, and Aridatya felt like all of those things. So it was undeniable, wasn’t it? She was everything a succubus was supposed to be. The only thing telling her was the faint memory of deeply-buried false reality, fading by the moment.

“I’m an incubus,” Aridatya tried to insist. “Not a succubus. An incubus!”

“Aridatya,” Lenora said pityingly, “do you think anyone seeing you now, anyone at all, would believe that?”

The succubus’s cheeks turned crimson. She looked away and cast about for anything she could use as ammunition. There was precious little left, but Aridatya’s thoughts quickly turned to what was between her legs. It had always been the very pride of her manhood.

“Oh, I see.” Lenora giggled. “You’re thinking about that, are you?”

Now, Aridatya paled. Had it been that obvious?

“I was thinking of letting you keep it, you know,” Lenora remarked, lifting the ur-candle again. “But if you’re going to be difficult about it…”

Aridatya truly turned as white as a sheet as she watched one single drop of wax fall onto the page.

Compared to before, it was nothing. Lenora was careful and subtle with her stylus, too. All in all, the change she made didn’t even amount to a single letter. It was an accent at most; a simple change in pronunciation, barely audible. Aridatya was still Aridatya. But it was enough, and after several horrid moments of anticipation, the succubus felt a new reality wash over her.

And it brought with it a cunt between her legs.

Aridatya gasped and whimpered at the sudden, aching loss which drove home just how much dignity and power she’d lost. Her name, her face - those things were precious, yes, but losing a part of her body that was so symbolic and fundamental for an incubus was even more of a violation. With her hips and thighs still shifting to accommodate her new anatomy, Aridatya squeezed her legs together, hoping to feel something solid between them. Instead, she just felt a sharp, shock of pleasure race up her spine from the unfamiliar stimulation to her new, sensitive pussy.

It was humiliating, and worse, the demon couldn’t suppress a low whine of pleasure. Lenora, of course, just laughed at her plight.

“My, my,” the witch commented. “Enjoying yourself already?”

“Shut up!” Aridatya huffed. She was incandescent with shame and rage, and she couldn’t do anything about it. She couldn’t hide. Couldn’t flee. Couldn’t stop what was happening to her.

“C’mon,” Lenora giggled mockingly. “Don’t you kind of like it?”

Aridatya had to look away because the truth was that, on some level, she did. Somehow, having a cunt instead of a cock just felt right. It made her feel more like herself, perversely; desirable and sexy in all the right ways for a succubus like her. Knowing that she’d been an incubus minutes ago and had a dick seconds ago didn’t help. It made her seethe with rage and burn with humiliation, yes, but it didn’t make having this body feel any less deliciously affirming.

So, instead, the contrasting emotions inside Aridatya - new and old - were forced to curdle and mix together as reality fought for a stable configuration. They became complimentary, mutually-reinforcing. Her humiliation became a pleasure all of its own, sinful and tempting, spiking her arousal even higher. Her anger, directed so singularly at Lenora, twisted and became a very different kind of craving, one that was predatory and carnal.

A succubus’s hunger.

It was a heady, dizzying cocktail of feelings to be struck with, and it made keeping Aridatya’s identity straight harder than ever. Instinct was taking over. It infested her body language, making her pose and preen and smile, directing all of her hellishly tempting appeal straight at Lenora. The witch was clearly amused and enticed in equal measure.

“Wow,” she remarked, cocking an eyebrow. “Maybe that was the magic ticket. Feeling a little more agreeable now?”

“Absolutely,” Aridatya replied, her voice a vicious purr. She was desperate. She couldn’t let this go any further. She needed Lenora to let down her guard.

“Fascinating,” Lenora breathed. For a moment, occult curiosity took over, although the color in her cheeks made it clear her interest was far more than just academic. “I suppose it is the lynchpin of the succubus/incubus distinction - in some schema, at least - so it makes sense it would have rather dramatic ripples.”

“Dramatic,” Aridatya echoed pleasingly. She bent forward, showing off her new assets. Her tits had become impressively large and pert, and it was dawning on her that she could use that. That she knew how to use that. “Hey, so how about that itch you needed scratching?”

“Yeah?” Lenora couldn’t help but stare, Aridatya noticed with pleasure. “You’re interested.”

“Oh, I just can’t wait to sink my teeth into you,” Aridatya cooed. She giggled. “Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

The plan, of course, was to seduce her, and then, once she released Aridatya from the magical circle, subdue her and force her to undo all the changes she’d made. At least, that was what Aridatya was telling herself. In truth, it was rationalization as much as anything else. Beneath it all was a simple, heartbeat-drum of need and desire, driving her towards Lenora’s warmth.

"Wow,” Lenora breathed. She wasn’t so quick-witted now. Aridatya could tell she was succumbing to her own desires, now that her summoned demon was in a form far, far more agreeable to her tastes. “But… sink your teeth into me? That sounds a little…”

“C’mon.” Aridatya tried to affect a high-pitched, feminine voice. It came effortlessly, and she was as dismayed at that as she was pleased with her success. “You can trust me. I just want what you made me want.”

Lenora almost went for it. Almost. But in the end, she pulled back and shook her head. “I wish. This version of you is pretty great, if I do say so myself. But… I can tell this isn’t going to be a good idea.”

“N-no.” Aridatya’s smile faltered.

“Perhaps I’ve been going about this the wrong way,” Lenora mused. “It’s not enough to make you a succubus. Not anymore. You’ll still remember what I did, at least a little, and you’ll still want revenge. I need to address that.”

“My… memories?” Aridatya was aghast. How could she fight that?

But Lenora shook her head. “No. Something deeper: your past.” She lifted the ur-candle and toyed with it in her hand, an egomaniacal smile playing across her face. “A true name is such a potent thing. It contains everything about you. Even your very history. Change that, and there’s nothing to remember.”

“Wait!” Aridatya called out, as Lenora started to tip the candle, but she already knew that wouldn’t stop her. Her next word tasted like bitter tears. “P-please!”

She didn’t beg. For all that had changed, that remained true. But this was her limit. This was the end. And so, Aridatya begged.

It didn’t matter.

This time, the way Lenora altered her true name was anything but subtle, even if it was artful. Using her stylus, she worked wax and ink all over the grimoire’s page, inscribing a fresh pattern that seemed to make the entire sigil shift into a bold new configuration.

“And,” Lenora murmured as she worked. “Why not push a few other things a little further, too?”

The sight made the succubus’s head throb, especially when Lenora looked up at her and said:

“Your name is Arideniya.”

“My name is… is Arideniya.”

This time, Aridenya didn’t bother to fight it. She just let her new reality wash over her, and accepted whatever her new self turned out to be.

It felt good, as it turned out. Arideniya couldn’t even perceive the changes as they occurred. Each one etched itself into her memory and her past, as if things had always been that way. Aridenya was left completely, blissfully ignorant of the fact that once, maybe, for a different version of herself, things had been very, very different.

Her tits had always been this huge. Her cunt had always dripped enticing wetness down her thighs when she was turned on and hungry. She’d always been a succubus, a woman, an embodiment of female sexuality, ready to feast on any mortal who came within reach. And when they were around her, they wanted to be feasted on so very, very much.

Arideniya didn’t just feel feminine. She felt powerful, and she took to her power like it was second nature. She stood tall, practically filling the room from floor to ceiling. Her horns were a crown upon her head, and her clothing was royal robes, no less revealing and suggestive for their grandeur. As the wax dried, Arideniya looked down at Lenora like a queen looking down at someone presenting themselves as tribute.

“Master,” the succubus purred, her tone anything but submissive. “Allow me to show you true pleasure.”

Lenora started to sweat from sheer temptation. Her magic circle offered scant protection against the raw, mind-bending power of Arideniya’s presence. She was overwhelming in every sense. She was any mortal’s fantasy given form, and Lenora was far from immune.

“W-what,” the witch struggled to say. She was drooling, but her mouth sounded painfully dry. “This isn’t… I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, yes, you did,” Arideniya countered. “This is exactly what you wanted. Exactly what you summoned. I’m all your handiwork, Master. It’s time to enjoy me. Time to take down this silly little circle.”

Lenora twitched abruptly, like she was struggling not to obey. Temptation was overriding her reason. Arideniya’s wicked grin widened. She had no particular animosity towards this mortal - but she needed to feed, and she liked to drink deep.

“I don’t u-understand how…” Lenora stuttered, flustered. She took a single step towards Arideniya, taking her perilously close to the magical circle’s boundary, before something seemed to click in her head. “Oh. Oh! I know what I did wrong.”

She stepped back, and hefted the objects in her hand - a leather-bound grimoire and a strange-looking candle. Arideniya’s eyes flew wide as she noticed it. The object seemed to trigger a memory from another life.

“Is that a-“ was all she managed to say before Lenora once again tipped the candle wax all over the grimoire.

This time, Lenora wasn’t artful or sparing. She poured as much wax as she could, obliterating almost all of the succubus’s true name in a single gesture. The succubus was rooted to the spot as a strange, unearthly sensation swept through her, making her mind flash white and robbing her of all sense of self and purpose. The sensation only grew stronger when Lenora started writing with her stylus in wax and ink, replacing some of what had been blotted out and altering what remained.

“It was obvious, really,” Lenora murmured as she worked. “I was too focused on what I wanted to change. Lost sight of the big picture. I was adding, each and every time. More letters, more sounds, more changes stacked on top of changes. I made a name that was impressive. Magnificent. Powerful.” She grinned. “But I think this will do the job just fine instead.”

The succubus standing before her just stared, dumbfounded, struggling to comprehend the meaning of her words.

“Your name,” Lenora told her, slowly and deliberately, “is Aria.”

“My name…” Aria echoed, “is… Aria!”

She brightened as she said it. It felt so right, and the rightness of it made her giggle a pretty, air-headed giggle. Aria licked her lips and arched her back, and reached up to jiggle her own, massive tits experimentally. Doing that made her giggle even harder.

“Maaaaster,” she drawled, pouting. “Don’t you wanna, like, fuck me?”

Lenora laughed. “No need to worry about hidden agendas now, I think,” she said. “So - time to make a contract?”

“A contract?” Aria snorted. “That stuff is soooo boring. Um… let’s see… I’ll give you whatever you want if you’ll, like, make me feel good?”

“Deal,” Lenora announced. She stepped forwards and used the tip of her shoe to erase the boundary of the magical circle on the ground. As soon as it was broken, Aria bounced on her, kissing and squeezing and groping with overeager lust.

Lenora laughed, and her laughter soon turned to moans. It was time to get that itch scratched.

---

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[marshmallowprotection]

Rika says that she didn't want Sally to go through the procedure for her eyes because it wasn't natural (which may be worse than being too prideful to get outside help depending on how you feel about it. I personally don't like it.) but she later regrets her decision and claims Sally "must of been so miserable she wanted to end her life". While I knew she projected a lot onto Sally I didn't really realize how much until this line. There are plenty of blind pets living comfortably decent lives. The dog more likely either smelled or heard something on the other side of the road and wanted to chase it but Rika jumped to blaming herself for making the dog miserable. Trust me when I say if an animal doesn't like you *they will let you know*. Sally wouldn't have protected her and stayed with her if she didn't. It makes me sad that she thinks everything hates her so much that they'd rather die :(

It also reminds me of how much Jumin projects onto Elizabeth. Jumin projects Rika onto Elizabeth and then Rika projects onto Sally. It's an interesting parallel.

It's neglectful and sad no matter how we slice it. Sally adored Rika, and that puppy was there for her from day one, barking and growling at her abusers to protect her from harm. I don't think Sally was ever miserable as her eyes continued to deteriorate, but that's my opinion, and that's 100% because Rika wholeheartedly believes by that point in her life that people would rather be gone from this world than stay with her.

The "it's not natural" comment does line up with the fact that she outright said "I'll get some vitamins and herbs for the believers" in those seasonal chats while Ray retorted, "No, I'll get more masks for the believers, my Savior." To be fair, those chats were user-created, but the fact that Cheritz approved it more or less leans into the fact that she'd say something like that.

It's possible that this view of hers could be tangled with her being too prideful, meaning that not only is she making a poor decision, but it's a decision that could be changed if she simply looked around and did the right thing as opposed to sticking her head in the sand. Rika, you could do better but you always choose to do worse.

Sally, Jihyun, and Mika were the only ones to get a view full of who Rika is as a person, and they all had a piece of a puzzle that couldn't come together because Rika was afraid of being genuine. She was so afraid of being herself that she felt like she had to split her innermost thoughts filled with intrusive thoughts and paranoia away from what she projected to the public to get them to like her as an angel instead of the devil she feared she was.

The fact that she convinced herself that Sally was miserable and wanted to get away from her is a reflection of just how bad her view of herself was at the time and how far she'd fallen into anguish. The only thing she could imagine about her life was that the people who knew the truth about her "devil" would do anything to get away from her, even disappear from this world.

When, that was never the case, Sally would've stayed with her until she died of old age and I've got no doubt about that. That dog was there for her through the most traumatic moments of her life and then some, and that dog wouldn't have left her until her body said it was time to cross the bridge and rest.

I do think Jumin projecting onto Elizabeth is also something of note, because his feelings of isolation and misery only come through when he speaks about Elizabeth. I want to rattle Jumin Han because he is a man aware of his privilege but at the same time, he denies himself all the right to say his life isn't perfect. He's the one trapped in a cage of societal and family standing, forced to keep a steady head and never complain once about what's been done to him by greedy, disgusting people.

"I was kidnapped a few times. It is of no concern, however, it merely happens. This clearly isn't normal but it happens to people such as myself all the time. I will not proceed to shrug and pretend it wasn't traumatic because what place do I have to complain as a wealthy man?"

"Women have harassed me my entire time, not just women who want to get into my pockets as an adult man, but women who had impure and disgusting thoughts about me as a young, helpless child. These experiences have made me wary of most people, but still, nevertheless, I march on. So, I will now proceed never to unpack this unless you play my route or Zen's Route."

"Yeah, my father and mother think of me as a robot without feelings, merely a cog in a machine. This upsets me deeply and while it is one of the FEW things I ask people not to do, I don't complain as much as I should to stop my friends from saying so."

He's able to face these demons in his route, but Elizabeth was only miserable because of his suffocation at the height of his mistakes. She adores Jumin and the love he gives her, and she is treated with the utmost care. But, in his route, he projected that onto her and it led to her being overwhelmed, stressed out, and desperate enough to run away. Not because she didn't care for her human, but because he caged her happiness, just as he caged himself in a box he never should've been in.

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Could we get some Ganondorf pec & oral vore with some weight gain & disposal?

Yeah I can definitely do that!

Getting into the royal castle as an advisor had been shockingly easy. G.anon had been very careful not to do anything too suspicious. From here, he'd be able to find and take the other pieces of the T.riforce he was looking for. Until then, though, his current position is a comfortable one. The king is a dolt who doesn't seem to notice anything is amiss and that has given G.anon access to most of the castle. He's been...partaking in the luxury, in the meantime. between the guards, the servants, and the townsfolk that often came by, there was no shortage of people around the castle. So if one or two people go missing every so often, it can be rather hard to tell. Especially with how naturally large G.anon is, often towering over some of the H.ylians here. He can effortlessly lift them up with one hand and cram them down the hatch in a few swift motions. He'd been a bit worried about the bulge in his gut being noticed with his live meals, but after the first few, he'd noticed his gut stretching out less each time. Though it took finding his clothes to be a bit too tight to realize that's because all these snacks have been adding on the pounds. It felt unbecoming of G.anon to be gaining such idle wait while trying to do important work but he couldn't help himself! He's practically addicted to the ease treats he has around the castle at all times. The way H.ylians scream and struggle as he devours them, the feelings of their bodies breaking apart in his stomach...it nearly drives him mad. He's thankful for the private bathroom he has. H.ylains make for rather large dumps, and the bones baked into it usually aren't well hidden, nevermind the smell. But it felt good knowing that the disgusting, worthless waste he was dropping off used to be a living, breathing H.ylian. And the king didn't suspect a thing. There was one time that had been too close--G.anon had been feeling particularly hungry one day and gone around the castle, picking off every guard and servant that happened to be alone with him at the same time. His stomach had been swollen with ten people when he got back to his room, and he'd been hoping to rest and let is all process when the king came by for some advice. G.anon was lucky the man hadn't noticed anything strange about his taut, gurgling guts. And eating so many H.lyians at once had been worth it--especially when he met them again in the bathroom for the biggest dump of his life. Even now, as he thinks back on that meal, his stomach is messily churning down a couple chefs he picked off with his breakfast. He's hardly thinking about the T.riforce anymore--he's just thinking about what he's going to have for lunch next.

G.anon lets out a small grunt as hands push into his chest. It was a bit tight, but once they got in, they only sank deeper. The man is pleased watching S.idon push himself in without hesitation, his eyes filled with purple corruption. G.anon had been given plenty of time to hone his skills, and the corruption he was capable of is the one he's most proud of. Some of those with a stronger will need to be broken down, though. That's why L.ink is left to merely watch his companions eagerly submit to their demise. Once S.idon's head is wedged between his pecs, G.anon can only grin at the glare he's getting from the warrior. How many of his friends will have to die before G.anon can claim him? He's eager to find out. Once S.idon is waist-deep, all it takes is a few flexes from his chest for G.anon to pack the rest of the prince away. His pecs bulge outward, packed tightly with all that meat. S.idon is moaning inside, his mind completely clouded by G.anon's power as the pecs squeeze and flex around him. L.ink can only watch as the defined bulges of his prey shrink down with each flex of G.anon's pecs, the muffled voice getting more distant, the entirety of S.idon fading away as G.anon's pecs grind him down into muscle mass. S.idon manages one last loud moan before G.anon's pecs squeeze together and he's gone with a sickening crunch. G.anon breaths heavily, his larger chest rising and falling with each one, dripping in sweat. Then he turns around and squats. He took all he could from S.idon, and the rest is worthless to him. Thick logs of crap slide out of his ass, steadily coiling up on the ground under him. A few red scales and bones pepper the otherwise brown mass, and S.idon's skull gets to top it off once it's pushed out with a loud grunt. And with his first meal gone, G.anon starts on the next, forcing K.ass's beak between his chest and packing the R.ito away with only flexes. L.ink has to watch each of his friends disappear like that. Once K.ass is left as a pile of feather-speckled crap, T.eba is forced in after him. R.evali follows soon after, brought back by G.anon just for the pleasure of snuffing him out once more, leaving two more feathery piles of crap. D.aruk was a similar case of revival just for him to die again, but he proved to be a much tougher meal for G.anon to crush down--he took pleasure in watching L.ink shiver as each flex seemed to do so little. But in the end, D.aruk was left in a very heavy shit, digested like the rest. Even Master K.ohga is packed away in those pecs, just to prove to L.ink that G.anon will destroy anyone just to mess with him. Once that mask is left half-buried in the fourth pile of shit, G.anon decides it's time to claim his prize. L.ink doesn't resist at all, and with little effort, his eyes are clouded over by G.anon's corruption. G.anon enjoys the way L.ink moans as he's packed away into that heaving, sweaty chest. All it takes is one massive flex to end it, and G.anon can feel immense power surging through him as he finally gets to claim that tri-force. His pecs are massive by then, and he's left with plenty more muscle mass on the rest of his body as well. And his first act of celebration...is dropping off L.ink in a measly pile with his friends. They can rest together while G.anon claims what's his.

[mischiefmaker615]

Jealous

Rating: PG

Summary: apparently Loki isn't quite fond of other males in the picture 

One moment you are bantering with Loki and the next thing you knew, he’s disgusted as you to see if he could beat your ‘you wouldn’t last one day as me’ comment. You two weren’t dating, but there was plenty of teasing from the team on how both of you liked each other but there was no way in hell you two were going to admit that. Just recently though, Loki seemed to have a slight change in heart, and although you both argued like cats and dogs, there was a strange fun about it where he just couldn’t help but start flirting after. Soon his replies to your sharp comments became no more than seductive teases and to be honest, you didn’t know whether you loved it or it fired you up even more. Anyway, apparently, he proved he could be you alright, somehow completed a day as a SHIELD technician but somehow, that’s not what had concerned you, it was when he got back that got your feathers all puffed up. After a good few minutes of ‘I told you so’s’ by a smug Loki who was now in his usual form and attire- leather, green and gorgeous, you finally had enough and walked away in a huff.  He was careful to keep his teasing, airy tone even though he wanted to grit his teeth "and by the way, I got you a date for tonight. The chivalrous Rogers is coming this evening for coffee."

You came to a dead halt as your cheeks reddened, spinning on your heels to face him and saw he seemed dead serious on what he just said. ‘’Steve and I are just friends- why did you possibly think setting up a date was necessary??’’ ‘Could it be that she truly hadn't noticed Rogers' subtle advances?’ Loki thought as he crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame as he watched you from the center of your room. ‘’let us understand darling that I did not ‘set up’ this little event, he merely asked and seemed to be rushed off before I could give a proper answer. But if you are so blind as to see this man has feelings for you, allow me to explain from my own observations.’’ He smirked, noticing how your brow twitched at the very thought. ‘’Perhaps it was because while I was you, he brushed his fingers against mine while taking the files from me. Or the fact that he looks truly disappointed whenever I mentioned- as you, that I needed to hurry and finish up to return back to your precious god of mischief’’ he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling in play thoughtfulness, "I think he's jealous of me to be quite frank, but perhaps I should be jealous of him..." he gaze dropped back down to you to see your blushing face, full of denial and confusion. Cap was attractive, without a doubt and a true gentleman.. but most f his attempts at flirting you tried to ignore before.. you didn’t see or feel for him in that way regardless. He was your first friend when you joined SHIELD many years ago; you trained together, worked and hung out in group settings at the tower.. have you really been blind to any hints that he had feelings for you? And perhaps it had slipped your mind to warn Loki before he posed as you at SHIELD to keep to himself anyway considering most men there seemed to always see you as eye-candy.. ‘’he and I are just friends.. S-Steve wouldn’t do those things-‘’ "Wouldn't he?" Loki questioned, lacing the words with a teasing tone, though the question was a real one. Even though Loki couldn't say he particularly liked the man, he had to admit that he wasn't stupid. Steve saw a quality woman in Y/N and from what Loki had noticed, once he's made his decision, he's not one to back down. Loki wouldn't have guessed that he and Rogers had anything in common, but it seems they both had good taste. "Rogers is a man, and a man with a heart at that. You think he wouldn't attempt charming a woman as worthwhile as you?" Your cheeks reddened for another reason now, moving your eyes away from Loki as he spoke to you, your heart fluttering at the words he said and yearned for him even more. Loki could be an ass hole sometimes, but he’s also adopted a kinder side recently, something you truly believed was the real him. but at times you couldn’t help if it was him just teasing or mocking you, like some cruel prank he conjured to amuse himself. shaking your head, you push past him, wings folding tight so you wouldn’t knock him down in the process. As Y/N pushed past him, he let his fingers run along a wing as it brushed against him, savoring the softness of it, trailing the line of your metacarpal and flanges, "Glad to hear that I have nothing to be jealous about, though. I'm not particularly fond of sharing." he pushed off the doorway to leisurely follow after you, his eyes starving as he looked you up and down from behind. ‘’Trust me, I'd prefer it if he didn't come, I'd much rather it just be us." You came to your final halt, feeling him last minute stop himself as he dumped lightly into your wings and turned to face him, a finger poking his chest to try to seem more intimidating considering he was taller than you. ‘’since you got us into this mess than I will have to deal with it. As usual. I’ll get this coffee thing over with here but I require you to remain in your chambers until the hang out is finished.’’ Hang out seemed a bit more swallowable than the word date. Loki grinned at your red face and the finger you jabbed him with. You were such a stunning creature and that flush, that almost innocent way you got flustered, it stirred up his heartbeat, making him want to run his fingers over other places on you beside just your wings.  Sighing, he tucked his hands behind his back in a casual effort to keep his hands to himself, "But must I be sequestered away in my chambers, darling? That seems a dull night and, besides, I'd like to keep my eye on the captain. I'll greatly enjoy the dirty looks he'll no doubt send me if I do join you." Loki could already see it now. Of course, the Captain would want time alone with Y/N to prove to himself that Loki was nothing but a job, but Loki didn't want to give him the satisfaction or the opportunity for him to 'make a move' as the Midgardians say. "If I'm on my best behavior, will I get a reward?" He leaned down closer to you, looming over ever so slightly as he took in your features, a mischievous glint in his eye, "Speaking of which, I still need to cash in on my first reward since I followed through on our agreement flawlessly." Was he truly.. jealous? ‘’..how about a nice warm handshake as your reward considering you still got us into this mess.’’ You offered but he merely gave you a smile as if he were dealing with a small child.  "That's quite generous of you, darling, and a tempting offer. Perhaps... perhaps I'll ask for that next, but no. My request for you is much smaller and simpler.’’ He rested his chin on his folded fingers as he examined you, a sly, cat-like grin curling his lips, "What I want from you, dearest Y/N... my humble request is for you to tell me, with full sincerity, one thing that you truly like about me. That is my prize. No sarcasm or agent-like propriety, just a kind, direct truth." He meant it. Those words had been a gift, more precious to him than you probably knew. Your eyes widened as he gave you an answer you didn’t expect- compared to a thousand you thought of what he wanted. How was this much simpler than a handshake? Sincerity? Truth? Something you liked about him.. you stepped backed ever so slowly as he advanced with the same speed, holding eye contact as you seemed to search in his eyes for any hint that what he said was what he actually said. ‘’y-you..’’ you stutter before you fall about into a chair, hands gripping the arms as your eyes slowly move back up at him and you bit your lip.  You did have feelings for him.. your sarcasm was pretty much a way of keeping it down, denial in a way, or perhaps your own way of expressing your true feelings in the only way you knew how- considering your species was a bit on the violent side to begin with.. but looking up at him now, who waited patiently, despite a slight playful grin at what he knew what he was doing to you.. he deserved it. He’s changed so much considering from how he started, and the fact that he’s put a bit of effort and that he was trying to adapt and get along here since New York.. well, ‘’..your.. well, you’re You. There’s not exactly a word to put it.. when you know what you want, your determined and work hard to get there. Despite how you feel towards particulars, in the end you try your hardest to accommodate to those whom you actually like.. and despite your given god title, you always seem to tell the truth first and use honesty towards others from the beginning.. regardless of how sharp it may come out but at least you hold your ground against those who are trying to tear you down..’’ at the end, Your eyes began to slowly lower and your voice quieted but Loki knew you were finished. He had only asked for one but it seemed like your heart wanted to flood out, it seemed like what you liked about him was.. him just being him. In a fluid motion, he crossed the small distance between you both. Bending down, he rested his hands on the armrests on either side of you. His movements were steady and slow, so as not to have you shrink back from him at all. He didn't want to frighten or intimidate you or make you feel trapped or unsafe in anyway, but he wanted your full attention on him. Looking down at you, he waited patiently until you'd lift your gaze to look up at him again. "Shall I return the favor?" His gaze trailed your features as he offered a soft smirk, "There's so much good to be said of you, darling. You, dear Y/N, have integrity. No one dares doubt you or your intentions. You and your heart are too good and beautiful for anyone to question if your heart is in the right place. Beyond that, you have the strength of will and character to stand up and actually bring your good intentions to life. You don't waste your skills and talents. You don't back down. You won't be cowed by anyone, even a so-called villain like me. You're ideal, in every sense of the word." You wouldn’t have noticed the tears if one hadn’t had ran down her cheek and he gently reached up and used his thumb to brush it away, allowing his hand to linger where you slowly leaned into his hand. He really thought of that about you? Truly?  "Come now, no tears." He wanted to pull that gorgeous face closer to his, to kiss away those tears, but he knew he couldn't. Rogers was here and was no doubt searching for Y/N. begrudgingly he let his hand slip from your soft skin as you both slowly stood up and he took a step back. "Worry not, I'll put up a little illusion to hide any redness.’’ He commented as he followed through, the flash of light moving over your blushing cheeks and slightly watery eyes as his illusion settled into place, "Can't have the Captain seeing any red eyes. He'll think I've been cruel to you." he chuckled at his joke, trying to lift your spirits just a bit before he bowed, "I'll remain out of sight. Best behavior and all." He offered before turning and leaving down the tower's hall so that the captain wouldn't see you together just as you heard a door open.  ‘’Y/N! thank you for being able to make it- I feel like its been awhile since we’ve had the chance to really catch up’’ Steve beamed as he entered the room and you turned with a new smile on your face. ‘’long time, no see yet I’ll have to agree- even though we saw each other at work’’ you awkwardly laughed, obviously still trying to collect yourself but Loki’s spell seemed to hold up fine when he didn’t seem to notice any previous tears on your face. ‘’true but its not the same as catching up’’ he chuckled and turned to indicate to head over to the kitchen with him and you did. ‘’work can get in the way of things but its good to just relax when you can, I feel like Fury’s been in a bigger mood lately so work might be cut out for us sometime soon’’ he sighed and began making the coffee as you leaned against the center island counter and watched.  You both talked about work a bit and previous missions, laughing and bonding and comparing of the old days, even on some days where you both were partnered up. You both were great together, but you didn’t know if what Loki had mentioned was now getting to your head because you now became aware on just how Rogers seemed to look at you when you spoke. Moving your eyes down to your coffee, you busied yourself by stirring it but your attention was drawn back when Steve’s voice seemed to lower. ‘’so how’s the project coming along?’’ ‘’project?’’ ‘’come on Y/N,’’ he said gently as you both took a seat at the table now, his voice gentle and eyes searching yours ‘’we know you prefer being back in the field, babysitting tends to be on another level of patience’’ he hinted, meaning Loki and you couldn’t help but lightly laugh as you took a sip of your drink. ‘’stubbornness runs in anyone, cant expect adjustments can be immediate, but things are actually coming along nicely, I’d say he’s more than half way adjusted here’’ you told him, not sure why your voice was lowered to, Loki wasn’t here. it wasn’t a secret though; you had volunteered though to be here often to watch over Loki- keep him out of trouble until he’s become more adjusted and trusted to lengthen his boundaries. ‘’but of course there are things back there I do miss..’’ ‘’oh yeah?’’ Steve grinned and your eyes dropped with a slight redness to your cheeks.  The more time you spent with him, the more settle hints you noticed from Steve. The way he looked out you when you spoke, how he listened and laughed and smiled.. the way his body was fully turned towards you at a close proximity you might add where your knees were almost touching. Your drinks were almost finished and it was getting late, but your mind wasn’t finished yet. The pause in conversation left a good gap where your mouth decided to blurt out ‘’we’re just friends right??’’ This seemed to take him back, silent at first as he looked at you with slight confusion and.. well, for the first time in your life, it was hard to read him. you bit your lip as you looked at him as his eyes seemed to search yours in a short amount of time before he chuckled and set down his mug.  ‘’of course we are Y/N, why would you need to ask that?’’ You looked down with slight embarrassment as your fingers played with the handle of the mug ‘’well.. it’s just that- there’s been rumors and I tend to overthink things and don’t want to assume anything and you’re a great guy and all but-‘’ you rambled but you trailed off when he offered a smile and a shake of his head.  ‘’Y/N, you truly are an amazing woman,’’ his voice lowered ever so slightly ‘’but I think we all know you like someone else.’’ Your cheeks reddened at his knowing smile and insinuation to meaning Loki. Your eyes glanced down before meeting back up at his and they were gentle but not hurt as he rests a hand on yours. ‘’hey it’s okay, you’re still my best partner out in the field,’’ he encouraged ‘’but out here we both know who you have feelings for, its just up to you whether or not you want them officially known, so you should really be speaking with a different person.’’ He playfully smirked and leaned back in his chair with a light stretch. ‘’I know you got this, but you rest easy. I should probably take my leave now, got to man headquarters until you return’’ he winked and stood, getting to your feet as well as you looked up at him with a relaxed demeanor now. ‘’I will.. and thank you Steve, I’ll see you on the field soon’’ you promised and picked up the mugs to take to the kitchen as he left you with a small side wave and left down the halls.  That went.. better than you expected, and from what you picked up on, you only sensed honest from him so you knew Cap was going to be okay. Setting the mugs into the sink, you enter the living room and look down the halls, debating whether to let Loki know it was all clear or figured he had went to bed already. ‘’that seemed to go well darling,’’ He strolled out of the dimness behind you, pulling his hands out of his pockets to raise them in mock surrender in case you responded poorly as you turned around but he was far enough to not earn a punch from your little jump scare. The last thing he needed was for you to clock him out of reflex which he knew you were capable of. Giving him a small look, your body relaxed a little as he smiled and walked slowly towards you and you knew you were ready to tell him how you truly felt.  With the same smile, Loki seemed to have been thinking the same thing as he stood in front of you now, shoes close enough to touch your own as your gazes held.  "Before you get upset, I never did fully agree to ‘stay’ in my chambers."

[antiterf]

Deciding to Live

I joke to myself sometimes that I have the stereotypical transition story. The one where the only option was to transition or die. I was at the point where I was suicidal for the fifth year running, and I came out less than a year after I was released from an all day intensive outpatient. There were plenty of times where I should have been admitted into inpatient, but chose not to share that I should go.

I had an idea I was trans before I went to that intensive outpatient program, I gave hints while there but no one caught on. Hints such as “I want a penis” and “I don’t want my name,” but apparently that’s not something catchable. At least not in 2015. I was not sharing it outright because I did not want to believe it. It was something too rare to be me, something too tragic, something too different, too inhuman. The idea of getting gender affirming care excited me before making me feel sick with myself over being excited. I was at war with myself, and I don’t think I shared that with anyone. Sharing it would mean coming out as something I did not want to be.

Then the miracle happened, I came out. My parents were on the edge a bit, but both supported me when they saw my social transition and how it brought me back to life. My social transition managed to convince me that it was the right thing as well, and I got my first T shot in October 2018.

So yeah, tragic trans backstory.

…

If I let cis people define it

My story is used as a way to convince cis people that we have to let trans people exist because otherwise we will die. Being transgender in this scenario is still a tragedy. It’s still a fate that’s only a small step up from death. And while I had to use that logic to push through my internalized transphobia, I refuse to apply it to myself now. I do not want my life to be defined as a way that convinces cis people to merely tolerate my existence, I want my life to be about me.

Instead, this is about a trans kid that refused to die.

I was so close to death where only the fear of failure was holding me back. I had a moment where I stared down a gun for a full minute contemplating shooting myself, and I didn’t. I had so many moments where I decided that despite the fact that I had no future I could see for myself, I would not die that day.

I looked at the world I lived in, both one that held the GSA that let me know I was not alone and showed that trans kids could live, and the one where the same GSA let me know that those trans kids were not treated well. The one that did not let me know what transgender was until I found other trans people. The one that taught me my self-hatred and disgust.

In my evangelical town and in my house with a transphobic abuser, I came out. My mom did not know what transgender was and started to try and find out, while my dad did and wasn’t sure about it. This is not completely an underdog story, if my parents kept me from socially transitioning I may have not made it. I was already up against myself after all. What made this particularly hard still was that I could not wait until I could leave my home town, get away from the kids that knew me since kindergarten, I could not be strategic with my social transition because it was too deadly to wait. I had already taken a chance with my parents, I had to take a chance with my school, with everyone.

I stared down death. I stared down my hostile world. I chose to live. The transphobic shit I was put through got to me at times, I would sit there and cry about how I simply wanted to be “normal.” Other times I used it as fuel for spite. Spite against a world that wanted me dead. I would live because I knew that there were assholes that would be happier if I did not exist. I did not want them to win.

The real tragedy here is that I lived in a culture where something like this was possible. Where it is possible for a fourteen year old to wait until they almost died to finally even come out of the closet. One where they learned so much disdain. One that refused to show them that their life was possible. The tragedy is not the fact that I am trans, it is that I grew up in a world that would only accept that if I was close enough to death.

With no help from the people that would pass trans healthcare bans yet say they care for the safety of our children, I survived. With no help from those who don’t accept it, but don’t want them to die, I survived. I lived, and I did not live for my life to be about proving that I deserve to live. I lived for me.

I am not a transgender tragedy, I am someone who refused to be buried alive. Part of that was luck to get out in time, the other part the audacity to try.

Originally posted on my neocities page:

[kittykatkatelol]

"You act like you have a choice" Yuri Oneshot

Prompt by @whumpcember - prompt: restraints - day 13 - fandom: Call of Duty

CW: physical assault, implied sexual assault, mentions of blood

-

The last thing he remembered was Makarov pointing a gun at him, saying "Today the world changes forever. Nothing can stop this, not even you." Then the bullet hit his chest and everything faded to black.

Yuri woke up, groaning in pain. He moves to touch his chest, to feel where he was shot, but found he couldn't move his arms, nor legs. Restrained by tight ropes that even with all his years in the military he couldn't get himself free. He tried to pull at his restraints but they wouldn't budge as he suspected.

He looked around, trying to determine where he was through blurry eyes. Yuri could feel warm blood still flowing freshly through his wounds. All he could see was darkness, it was clearly a small room, a basement perhaps. All he truly knew is that he was bleeding and he would surely die if he didn't stop said bleeding.

Then Yuri heard it - a small chuckle of pure enjoyment of Yuri's injuries and struggle.

"Ah.. Yura, you're awake.."

He didn't dare speak, everything he would say would only fuel Makarov's fire.

He watched as Makarov walks towards him in the darkness of the room. His smirk unbearable. Yuri knew he was enjoying this more than any human should - Makarov had always had a sadistic enjoyment of peoples' suffering.

"So, my pet, don't you have anything to say for yourself?"

When he refused to speak still, Makarov punched him, hard across the face, nearly knocking him out again.

"Don't worry, Yura.." He felt Makarov's cold hand grip his chin, forcing his head to look at Makarov's face, his eyes unfocused but determined to not give into his tactics. "I won't let you die. You are far too valuable for that.."

"You have plenty of soldiers, Makarov." Yuri managed to spit out, through a mouthful of blood.

"Ah, but that is where you are mistaken. I don't need your military skills, despite how good they may be.."

The pieces slowly snapped together in his mind - his face must have been disgusted because Makarov laughed in his face.

"You act like you have a choice, pet. Now let's get you cleaned up."

Yuri didn't have a choice anymore - once a soldier of Russia, now a mere slave to Makarov's desires. He swore he didn't want to, but again, he didn't have a choice.

He didn't know how he once loved this cruel, heartless, man. How he ever truly cared for him.

He truly didn't know now as Makarov forced him on his knees mere minutes after bandaging his wounds, forcing him to gag when he already feeling so close to death.

He doubted he would ever know as he blacked out from Makarov's fist after he was done with him.

-

[Word count: 452]

[burning-fcols]

It's a content, lazy day. Maimon wasn't off throwing another prank, even if he had the urge. Mainly only because Samael was there & he didn't want to miss a single soft moment with him. It was so perfect & also painful at the same time. He didn't know if Sammy understood that he held deeper feelings of longing & affection for him rather than just friendship. He never asked though, merely enjoying their time spent together.  "Tell me more o' yer dreams, Sammy. Please?" Tone is soft as his fingers lift to gently brush their wings. "Yer stories are always fascinatin'." He also might love hearing the sound of Samael's voice, but he kept that part to himself. A light warmth creeping across his cheeks as he offers a warm smile.  "I'll let you do my wings." ( pre!fallen bby boys u-u ) - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @questionablemuses 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 Comfortably propped on Maimon’s lap, wings are unfurled so his fellow angel can tend to silken feathers. Plumage of pure white and heavenly blue, truthfully not in need of attention. They had been preened just yesterday— by the same virtue trailing gentle fingers through them, not a snag in sight —but it’s a comforting pastime nonetheless. One Samael partakes in with very few… and none provide the same sense of care rather than ❛ obligation ❜ that Maimon does.

Perhaps he's being unfair to the other heavenly beings. They may not understand him but they have always tried to look out for him. Stifling and daresay patronizing as their attempts may be... Yet it's hard not to compare their demeanor to Maimon's. To see their acts of ❛ love ❜ as veiled judgements or chores that must be tended to, whether they WANT or not. If there's one thing Samael knows for certain about angels, it's how self-righteously rigid their sense of duty is. As well as their insistence these duties be completed in the proper manner.

But Maimon? He's different...

He's fun and curious and when he asks what Samael is doing, it's not with the dreading disappointment of Sera or dry disgust of the others. He's genuinely looking for an answer, not an ❛ explanation ❜ ... How Samael has come to despise that word. Explanation. A sure-fire way to know that no matter what he says, it'll be painted in a negative light. Any reasoning he may give merely listened to as ammunition against what he's attempting to accomplish. But Maimon wants to hear him speak for the sheer joy of it. Utterly confounding as it may be to the tiny angel.

And today he has a REALLY good idea too.

❝ I was hoping you'd ask that! ❞ Samael begins, flitting to duck behind Maimon's large wing like an excitable hummingbird. Delicate hands, untarnished as fresh snow and gentle as a single flake, start to pick through the other's feathers. Gaze fixated upon his task, attention is far beyond what he can see. Already painting a picture deemed ❛ overtly unnecessary ❜ by Sera, words tumble from his mouth like the trill of a songbird, ❝ Alright, so... I was visiting the garden again— ❞ Something that tends to make the others- prickly, whenever it's mentioned. Claiming he is starting to spend too much time in what is meant to be the human's domain.

❝ —and I saw this magnificent creature called a horse. It was big and beautiful, with majestic yet powerful legs and hair that billowed behind it whenever it ran. ❞ Moving down the other's wing, brows knit as he fixes a feather. Maimon's are always so warm... and soft. ❝ But you know what it didn't have? A horn. Imagine it— a long, preferably-spiraled, horn shooting out from its forehead! ❞ He mimics the idea, a finger sticking up as Samael makes a faux horn against his head. ❝ I don't know what exactly for yet, but I'm sure it would be useful somehow. Right? ❞

After all, plenty of animals have horns for a variety of reasons... and something about a horse with one just RADIATES good things. Grabbing onto Maimon's wing, Samael gingerly moves the large appendage up and down in a half-flapping motion. ❝ And wings! What about wings? If it looks fantastic galloping across the ground, it would be an even more fantastical sight gallivanting amongst the clouds! ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[szallejhscorner]

King of Diamonds - Part VI

•♦•♦• When Chishiya Shuntarou accepted to remain in the Borderlands as a citizen, I knew there was nothing I could do but to accept as well. •♦•♦•

AN: In case anyone wants to be added to the taglist, just say so in the comments (:

@beewolfwrites​ @dripoftheseus​

“Can someone please explain what the heck happened here?”

As we walked through Tokyo, I could barely stop shaking my head with disbelief. Chishiya next to me answered with nothing but a snort, although I noticed that he too was eyeing our surroundings with interest.

At the end of stage two, the city had been a jungle covered in corpses. Not only had nature taken back almost every part of the city, with trees splitting concrete and entire building walls, but the King of Spades had decorated the remaining streets with dead people. Chishiya and I had stayed inside the hotel for less than a week, and with the tempo of decay I had experienced until then, I’d been sure to find an even thicker jungle with hundreds of skeletons.

Obviously, that wasn’t the case.

Not only the games had been relaunched – the Borderlands had gone through an entire reset, as if going back to an earlier safe point when playing a game. Tokyo looked more like Japan’s capital city again, and there was not a single corpse. Not even bones scattered around here and there. Nothing hinted at the terror we all had been going through just two weeks ago, and it was something my mind couldn’t really grasp.

Letting go of the blonde’s hand, I pushed against the door of a grocery store and it opened with just a bit of force. A foul smell greeted me and I glanced to the produce section with disgust, not even daring to search for the meat or fish section, but the store was still full of cans and packages, drinks and all the stuff us players had been roaming for.

“I remember this store”, I muttered, assuming that Chishiya had followed me inside since I heard footsteps behind me, “and it was definitely both empty and completely demolished. This… I….”

There were no words to describe the chaos in my mind. I could somehow accept the fact that hundreds of people disappeared into a parallel Tokyo. But this? An entire city rebuilding and restocking itself within just three days?

Chishiya reached for a pack of cookies and hummed with interest. “It makes sense though”, he mused, “Tokyo has been ripped off anything useful once we finished the second stage. New players would starve to death rather than die in games if there was no restock. I guess this is the starting position for each relaunch.”

My eyes flew to him in bewilderment. Pink glittering unicorns could dance around us and Chishiya would watch and analyze them without losing his poker face. “Don’t take too many cookies, then”, I scoffed, “leave them for the players. We have plenty of them in the hotel.”

He held my gaze with a raised brow and took the cookies anyway. I knew he hardly cared about anyone else but him, less the new players that would try to kill him eventually. “You accepted your role as a Citizen, then”, he stated.

I shrugged, feeling a bit of unease. “What else could I do.”

We left the store and continued to stroll through Tokyo, through streets that were now recognizable again. Barely a single root had yet to make it through the concrete, and most of the windows were still intact. Looking around, it was hard to believe that the city would turn into a jungle within mere weeks.

The crunching of cookies was the only sound accompanying us for a while. When I had asked Chishiya to go for a walk with me earlier this morning, there hadn’t been a certain goal in my mind. I’d just been longing for some fresh air and quietness, and Chishiya obviously didn’t mind to go along with me. His wounds were healing extraordinarily quickly, which wasn’t surprising to me anymore. Everything seemed to be possible in the Borderlands, and there were still so many things I didn’t know.

At one point, the blonde next to me just came to a stand, and I turned around to see him staring at one of the buildings to the left. It was something I wouldn’t have noticed in passing, but now I immediately recognized the double doors.

“The King of Hearts”, I whispered. At once, I felt out of breath, and I remembered the pain in every single muscle as Chishiya and I had tried to escape the King of Spades. This door that we were facing now, the former King of Hearts venue, had been our only chance to survive for the moment. No blimp was hovering above our heads now, and no wreckage lay around. I was sure that if I went inside now, I’d find no table with poisoned sweets, no blood on the carpets of the four symbol rooms. No electric chair.

Out of all games I had played, this one had been the hardest for me. One of my hands moved to the opposite wrist to rub the scar caused by the chair, like I always did when something made me nervous.

But that belonged to the past now. The game had been cleared, the King was long dead. Feeling the urge to move on, I tucked the sleeve of Chishiya’s hoodie, but he didn’t move.

A slight frown darkened his beautiful features, and his lips parted seconds before he spoke. “You were dead”, was all he muttered eventually.

“Huh?”

“You had stopped breathing. It was unlikely for the rest of us to make it out alive.”

Despite the circumstances, I couldn’t help but smile. I’d never forget the warm and comfortable place that had been calling for me, luring me into its embrace. Chishiya’s voice on the other side, surrounded by pain and darkness. “But you told me to stay.”

“And you listened, for once.” His eyes met mine, and I knew he wouldn’t say more. It was enough for me to understand, though.

I cupped my hand around his cheek, caressing his skin with my thumb as I moved closer to him. Chishiya didn’t complain when I kissed him, just a few heartbeats long before I let our foreheads touch. It was hard at times to keep in mind why I had chosen Chishiya as the man I wanted to be with, but in secret moments like this, he made me remember.

The feint sound of voices made me lift my head and end this tender moment. Chishiya had noticed it as well, and with a nod, indicated me to start walking. I didn’t spare the game venue one more look as we finally left the huge and windowless building behind, and the feeling of unease had made way for excitement since the voices could mean only one thing: we were about to meet some of the players.

We followed the voices and an intensifying trail of weed smoke through side streets until we reached a wide plaza with a dozen caravans, obviously the source of the talking. A total of eleven people had gathered around a campfire in the middle of the plaza, some of them sitting on logs or barrels, others standing together, drinking beer and laughing.

They quickly noticed our appearance and called us over, not at all hesitant or wary to meet us.

“New players!” One of them, a corpulent yet small man wearing a dirty bright yellow shirt and green cap on his head cheered, “thank God, we’re really not the only ones out here.”

A woman with a flower dress and curly hair, probably in her late forties, raised a canned beer with one hand while turning a joint around in the other. “More people to celebrate Armageddon with!”

I looked at Chishiya questioningly, unsure if it’d be a good idea to mingle with the new players so early through the first stage, but he just shrugged and sat down on one of the makeshift benches. Someone walked up to me and led me to one of the logs sooner than I realized, and I found myself sitting next to the dress-wearing woman.

“Hi”, I croaked out, clearing my throat as I felt the rest of the words getting stuck half-way out. We were allowed to mix with the players, play games and all that as long as we didn’t tell anyone who we really were. Just like Asahi had been instantly killed after announcing her identity as a Dealer, a red laser would crash through my skull once I dared to tell one of the players about us Citizens. Could I pretend to be someone I was not? Could I look these people in the eyes, knowing full well they had to fight for their lives while I could watch them on one of the plenty monitors inside the hotel?

A can of beer found its way into my hand, and I took a sip, hoping that some alcohol would ease the pressure I felt. The beer tasted terrible, it was hot and stale, but it was alcohol nonetheless. After emptying half of the can within a few seconds, I introduced Chishiya and me, smiling when there were comments about the blonde’s quite special last name.

Chishiya was also holding a beer, but he didn’t drink any of it. Instead, he examined every one of the players around us, listening to the stories they told us about how long they’d been here already. The maximum seemed to be four days.

Four days. What shouldn’t sound like a short time could feel longer than an eternity here in the Borderlands, I knew that too well myself. If one was unlucky, four days could mean three or four games, thus three or four chances to die or lose people one knew and liked. The constant terror of not knowing how long I’d survive and how my end would come had always caused me nightmares, and the few days in between the games couldn’t give much ease.

Now, at least this kind of nightmares was kept away from my dreams. It was a soothing thought – knowing that there was no visa running out for me, that no Roamer would chase me to death.

Chishiya and I, we belonged to this world now. I felt alien along the people sitting here around that campfire, like the traitor I probably was. Yet I sat here and drank beer out of metal cans and ate snacks out of plastic bags with people who wondered if they’d still sit here tomorrow while I, on the other hand, could go back to the hotel tonight and order something crazy like Argentinean rump steak with mashed sweet potatoes and watch the games from a comfy sofa.

“I know that look”, the woman next to me said, grinding the joint remains under her heel, “try not to worry and instead live for the present. The games are much less frightening if you don’t think about them all the time.”

I swallowed and was unable to get out an answer. She seemed so kind and yet was so completely wrong about what bothered me. Her face showed first signs of wrinkles, but her hazel hair was still full and falling down her shoulders in shiny waves. A beautiful woman for sure despite the circumstances.

Once more misinterpreting my silence, she continued: “you know, my son always had that look when he was about to write a test. It gets better, I promise.”

Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

One of the men caught her attention by calling her Yukinari, throwing another beer towards her once she turned to him.

“Do you miss him?” I asked, trying to change the topic. It didn’t work out too well, though, as tears welled up in her eyes.

Her voice was only a whisper when she answered. “Every second I’m awake, and even in my dreams. It wasn’t fair that it had to happen to him.”

Several dark imaginations filled my mind about what happened. A lethal illness, maybe – cancer, heart failure; a car incident?

“I’m…. sorry. I didn’t intend to-”

“It’s fine”, Yukinari interrupted me. “Whenever I talk about him, it keeps him alive. Would… would you mind listening to his story?”

I shook my head. “Not at all.” A side glance towards Chishiya told me that he had started a conversation with someone else, but his eyes wandered to me now and then, observing my behavior and probably trying to make sure I wouldn’t say something forbidden.

Yukinari’s voice was shaking at first when she started to talk about Masaru, her only son who had been seventeen years old. They had come to the Borderlands together, and of course they’d decided to enter their first game together as well. What they couldn’t have known though, was that the game would be an Eight of Hearts. I remembered some of the details since I had read the note after Myoka had shown me the pin boards, but Yukinari couldn’t bring herself to amplify. Masaru had been one of the first to die when the players had started to kill each other, leaving his mother not only lost and confused, but utterly heart-broken an in a pain only a mother could comprehend. At least she’d have a couple of days more to mourn until her next game.

“Masaru loved to play basketball”, Yukinari continued, her voice much more solid now, and I could even catch a smile on her face. “He was best of his class, with a bright future lying ahead of him…”

More stories followed about his basketball career and how Masuru had disliked nothing as much as maths, but I listened only half-heartedly. I felt so incredibly sorry for this woman and it made me think about my parents and how they had lost me as their child. How did I disappear in the real world? And how did they mourn me?

What if Yukinari had other relatives waiting for her to come back?

I couldn’t bring back Yukinari’s son, but I could make sure at least the mother returned to the real world. I had insight into the games and their rules, which meant I could lure Yukinari into the ones granting a high chance of survival. This way, she would easily make it through the first stage, and then I’d find a similar way to get her to the finish line.

Chishiya’s piercing glance made me lift my head, and his eyes were serious. He knew I plotted something I probably shouldn’t do, but as far as I knew, it wasn’t against the rules if I maintained a low profile. I shrugged, trying to tell the blonde that he didn’t need to worry about me.

“…Masuru would have loved the Camp”, the woman finished, and I nodded.

“I’m sure he would have.” Taking another sip from the terrible beer, I looked around the makeshift hideout. The caravans brought back wonderful memories from the days I had spent in one together with Chishiya, until one heavy argument had caused us to part. “You really call this place just that? The Camp?”

The scratching sound of wood against concrete right next to me made me flinch, and a pretty young guy, probably in his late teens, took a seat on the log he had just shoved next to mine. He smelled after alcohol and weed, but the glance in his eyes seemed still sober. “Short and fitting. It’s a good name, if you ask me. And catchy enough for more people to join – on top of the fact that you guys have drugs here.”

“I don’t mind the Camp growing”, a man next to Chishiya added, “the more we are, the easier it gets to gather supplies and have fun. Maybe someone will be able to hunt and get us fresh meat, eh!”

Kuina’s face immediately came to my mind. The tall woman had been able to do just that, and with her help, meals had always been way better than just tasteless noodles and stale beer. I missed her.

The youngster, who introduced himself as Honma, gave me a lopsided sneer. “And more people will mean more girls.”

His wink made me snort and I rolled my eyes. “I’m taken, thank you very much.”

Honma didn’t press on further, too occupied with rolling a joint. His lower arms were covered in tattoos, and I could also see a very nasty scar on the right one. Whatever had happened there didn’t heal very well, and it still looked painful although it had to be old already.

The wind blew the joint’s sickeningly sweet smell directly into my face, and I used that as an excuse to switch logs so I could be next to Chishiya and further away from that weird guy. The blonde had started a conversation with two others and was currently briefly telling them about his very first game, the Six of Diamonds. He of course let out the detail that the game had taken place weeks prior instead of just four days, letting the others believe he was a newbie just like them.

“Six of Diamonds?” One of them asked, “mine was a Five of Clubs. I wonder what the symbols stand for, or if they have a meaning at all.”

“Of course there’s a meaning. The four types stand for different categories – Diamonds, for example, are games about intelligence. And your Clubs game included teamwork, didn’t it?”

“It… It did, yes! You must be pretty clever then. How did you figure it out so quickly?”

Chishiya gave him a smirk that didn’t even try to hide his arrogance. “Oh, I am clever. It is all about observing. Yukinari’s game was Hearts, and she said that most of the players turned against each other. A game that plays with people’s hearts, standing to reason. Diamonds not only has the sharp edges, but it also represents the sharpness of the mind. Clubs, with its multiple blades, stands for multiple players that need to work together.”

Everyone else had stopped talking, and even I was speechless. This was the first time someone made me think about why each symbol stood for a certain ability, and what Chishiya said made so much sense! He could have definitely figured that out on his fourth day in the Borderlands.

Honma hummed impressed. “And Spades, what about that?”

With a nod towards me, Chishiya gave him a slight shrug. “Their first game had been a Spades one, and I know it was about physical activity. So that’s the last one.”

Taken aback, I tried not to show my surprise too openly. I had never told him about my very first game in these lands, so how did he know?

His eyes glinted with a hidden satisfaction when he noticed my confusion, and his lips silently formed the word “Beach”. As a former executive of the Beach, he must have known because of the playing card I had brought with me when joining Hatter’s utopia. His cleverness surprised me every day anew, it was almost scary.

Many of the people sitting around the fire started to talk about the games they had played already, confirming Chishiya’s statement about the symbols. The topic smoothly transitioned from games to our previous lives to escape plans and whatnot, how the Camp had been formed and if Chishiya and I didn’t want to join. Luckily for me, the blonde reacted quickly enough and played out the boyfriend-card, telling the others that we had found a nice abandoned suite and preferred to stay there. For privacy reasons, they probably assumed judging by their sly smiles, but I didn’t mind as long as they didn’t press further. I couldn’t possibly tell them that I had no need of staying in one of their caravans since a nice warm dinner and a hot shower would be waiting for me.

Maybe I could bring Chishiya to spend a few nights here in the future, though. I somehow missed our time in the caravan.

But sooner than I realized, the sky above our heads turned from a flawless blue into several hues of red and purple, indicating that night would fall soon. With the promise to return the next day, Chishiya and I waved goodbye and left the Camp, when Honma did the same and jogged through the street to catch up with us.

“Let me accompany you”, he grinned, and my mind immediately begun to spin around, searching for an argument to send him away so he wouldn’t find the Citizen base.

“I… well, you know…” I stuttered, but Chishiya patted my shoulder in reassurance.

“It’s alright”, he said, “Honma is one of us.”

Once more I was bewildered, but of course Chishiya knew that as well. He had probably seen the youngster during the last days or something, although at that point I was too tired to ask.

Instead I let out a sigh and put up with the fact that my private time with Chishiya would have to wait. Honma adjusted his pace to ours, carrying such a content grin on his face it made me shudder. He had been quite talented in playing the role of the innocent young man still learning about this world, and as we walked, the ugly scar on his arm caught my eyes again and again.

Honma eventually noticed, and his smile grew even wilder. “You want to know what happened, right?” He didn’t wait for me to answer, since my curiosity was obvious enough for him to continue. “You probably think it was a game injury. It wasn’t. In fact, I cut it out myself.”

“And why would you do that?”

He scratched the scar, a gesture so familiar that it caused me to look at my own wrists. “To escape the King of Spades. Once I realized he could track every single one of us via GPS, I did everything to locate the sender - and remove it.”

Chishiya lifted his head, now listening with open interest. We both had known the King’s ability to track us, but I had never considered a sender inside our bodies. One of the very few things the blonde probably hadn’t thought of, either. “You knew where to cut. But you obviously didn’t know how to do it properly.”

Honma shrugged. “I don’t care about one more scar. But yes, I did my homework. It would have been suicidal to cut my whole body open and play a guessing game.”

The more he said, the less I wanted him to continue, having a feeling in my guts that the answer wouldn’t be to my liking.

“Since the King of Spades left more than enough corpses in my way, I had plenty of chances to search for other people’s senders. And surprise, surprise! They’re all located in the very same spot. What a shame though that I’m usually right-handed; it made the operation a lot more difficult.”

I huffed. Back in the real world, the mere thought of doing that – noodling around with dead people’s bodies – would have disgusted, even terrified me to no end. Now I caught myself calling it brilliant in my mind – since until this point I had been sure it was impossible to escape the Roamer’s radar.

“Chishiya and I, we still have those senders, right?” I concluded, scanning my right arm for something under my skin that didn’t belong there. Of course I found nothing.

Honma nodded, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I guess so. But they’re probably shut off now that they’re not needed anymore.”

“I doubt that”, Chishiya threw in, causing both Honma and I to turn around to him. “You were not part of the Beach, but during the Witch Hunt, one of the Dealers revealed her identity and was killed immediately. If they didn’t remove the senders during the relaunch, which I doubt they have, they will use it to control our movements in case we infringe the rules. Or to kill us if we die in our own games.”

This was a theory that yet needed to be tested, but if it really was true, this could change a lot. I assumed that whoever ruled the Borderlands was aware that one of their Citizens was running around without a sender, and Honma was probably under observation or had another sender implanted during the relaunch without knowing.

For me, it could be a true game changer, though. Maybe I’d be able to leave Tokyo at some point, find out what else was hidden beyond the city’s borders. The risk of being killed remained, but for once, it didn’t scare me. And it wouldn’t scare me once Chishiya would be gone, leaving me all alone and hollow.

Oh, how this land had changed me.

[whats-wild-to-you]

Enemies 2 Lovers

I knocked on the door of Hannah’s boyfriend’s dorm. The wind was blowing relentless and my face froze albeit walking only a short distance from my car to the door. A few seconds later it opened and I stared at Hannah who held a finger up against her lips.

“Again?” I whispered, while entering.

She had turned on some music but because her boyfriend had a paper to finish, it wouldn’t completely drown out all the noises coming from Jay’s bedroom.

As always he had a chick in there and was getting laid. It was the main reason that I despised meeting Hannah here. I didn’t think I ever visited, with Jay not fucking some bimbo next door.

“Sorry! I haven’t seen Brian all week.”

I nodded in understanding. Hannah and Brian were dating for about two years. A lifetime in the eyes of a college student.

We sat down on the couch and finished our own paper before Hannah described -in great detail- her two year anniversary date with Brian.

The playlist ended the same time Jay’s room went quiet. Brian looked up for a second, chuckling, as he checked the time.

“Champ!”

I rolled my eyes, making a disgusted face at Hannah, who giggled.

I had met Jay a couple times when Hannah and Brian first started dating. Soon I realized what a player he was. It didn’t take much for him to leave with a girl. Usually they hung out around him like flies over a pile of cow dung.

I had almost chocked on my fries when Hannah suggested one day to go out on a date with him.

‘He’s not that bad. Yeah, sure, he has a bad boy rep but once you get to know him you’ll see he’s really a nice guy!’

‘Why don’t you date him then?’ I had retorted, disgusted by the mere thought of going out with Jay. He made it plenty clear he did not find me attractive. From then on Hannah knew better than to bring him up again.

We all stayed quiet, listening to the shuffling in the room.

“Who is she?” I whispered. There weren’t many girls left on campus, Jay hadn’t slept with. That, and his rule of not hooking up twice with the same chick, made it harder and harder for him to find a suitable girl.

“No idea. They were in there when I came back from class.” Brian shrugged.

With a creak, the door opened. A scantily dressed girl emerged, making me chuckle as I thought how cold it was outside. I assumed Jay would come out next, but my eyes widened in shock when another girl left his room, sprinting to the door.

“Nice!” Brian exclaimed as soon as Jay walked out, giving his roommate a high five.

Both Hannah and I grunted, which diverted Jay’s attention to the couch on the other side of the common room.

“Fuck!” Jay muttered under his breath.

“Hello to you too!” I said, rolling my eyes at him. For the sake of Hannah and Brian I met him with the most basic level of human politeness.

Jay obviously did not like my company. Didn’t like talking to me, didn’t like sitting next to me, didn’t like looking at me. I never even knew what his problem with me was but whatever it was, it was mutual.

He may have been a nice guy, although I still didn't have firsthand-proof of that, but he was also a player. And I didn’t like games.

“Dude, why di-” Jay began arguing with Brian, but lowered his voice when he saw me looking in his direction.

“I hope you didn’t hurry because of me! I really don’t care what you do in your own bedroom. I’m leaving anyway.”

Jay looked at me and I swear I could see shame in his eyes. Hannah giggled, putting on her thick winter coat and walking me to my car.

“How are you?”

“The pain comes in waves. After all, Nick and I were together for a year.”

Though it hadn't been a long time, I thought Nick and I would last forever.

“You need some serious distraction, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

I shook my head. Hannah always had my back. I couldn’t possibly ask for more.

“Why don’t you come with us on Friday? I’m sure it will be fun.” Hannah offered, despite knowing that frat parties weren’t really my thing.

“I don’t know…”

“Lots of cute guys, free alcohol…”

Those were all things I wasn’t interested in, Hannah knew that. It dawned on me that she desperately needed someone sane with her. Once Brian met his friends he usually went beserk.

“Fine.”

“Oh, thank you! I love you. See you Friday!”

Two days later I stood in the frat house of Phi Beta Kappa, awkwardly shuffling with my feet, absentmindedly sipping on my drink. I was supposed to meet up with Hannah and Brian but they had some last minute issues and Hannah texted me, saying they’d meet me at the party.

Now here I was, all alone, timid like a deer caught in headlights, recognizing absolutely nobody.

It’s been 45 minutes since Hannah texted me and I decided to wait for another 15 before I would head home.

“Did you get lost? What are you doing here?” A familiar voice shouted in my ear.

I turned around, standing way to close to Jay. I had to admit, up close he looked gorgeous with his sharp jawline and chiseled cheekbones. His eyes glistened with amusement at my annoyed face.

“I was supposed to meet Hannah here. She said she’d be late.”

“They’re not coming.”

“What? But sh-” Before I could finish my sentence, Jay shoved his phone in my face, showing me a text Brian had sent him 5 minutes ago.

Yo, bro, we’re kinda busy here. Don’t think we’ll make it. Take care of Alissa.

“I can take care of myself.” I responded, simultaneously checking my phone.

Why didn’t Hannah text me?

When I pulled my phone out, I got the answer. The battery died. Great!

“Need a ride?”

“No. I drove here myself.”

“What’s the problem then?” Jay looked at me quizzically. There was concern mixed in with his amused tone, something I chugged up to the fact that he probably was scared of Hannah.

Yeah, what was the problem?

Suddenly I felt out of my element. I came here alone and I was planning on leaving alone but now the prospect of me alone on the road sounded frightening. What if something happened? I wouldn’t be able to call for help.

“Do you need company?” This time his voice was much softer, almost pleading me to say yes.

“No.”

Yes!

I looked around but my eyes involuntarily landed back on Jay.

What was he doing here? I was pretty sure he already slept with every female on this party.

“Where’s your car? Lead the way.”

“I don’t need a babysitter. Isn’t there a girl here you can hook up with instead?”

I talked without thinking, a bad habit I revealed to those around whenever I was stressed. I only realized I went overboard when I saw Jay’s expression. He looked remorseful.

“I’m sorry. Really! Thank you for staying with me.”

Maybe Hannah wasn’t wrong after all. He could be nice.

He’s only being nice because Brian asked him to!, the voice in my head answered.

“Give me the keys, I’ll drive.”

“No, it’s okay. I-”

“Keys.” He said and I obeyed immediately, handing him the keys, mumbling a small thank you.

The whole ride long my eyes were glue on the road ahead. Despite noticing Jay tilting his head to look at me several times, I didn’t dare to meet his eyes.

“So you’re still with that guy? What was his name... Rick?”

“Nick. And no. We broke up recently.”

I had no idea why I was telling Jay all that. Or why he even asked. And how the hell he knew about me and Nick.

Hannah! Hannah must've told him.

“Breakups are tough but the best thing you can do is get back on the horse.” He said, smirking. I caught the sexual reference. If Brian was around they’d probably high-five each other for five minutes.

“I’m curious. Does your life really revolve around sex? Like 24/7?” I was unnecessarily harsh and the pained expression adorning his face made me regret my comment immediately.

“I’m sorry, I- No, your right. I’m stuck-up.”

“I never said this.”

“But you’re thinking it. Everyone, even Hannah, says I need to let loose once in a while. But how do I do that?”

“First of all, stop overthinking! You’re in college! You’re supposed to have fun and do dumb things!”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your criteria when you choose a girl to hook up with?”

“What?” Jay cocked an eyebrow but his gaze remained on the road.

“What do you look for? Do you care about her personality or just her looks?”

“I- You really wanna know?”

“Yes.”

“It may sound harsh, but personality doesn’t matter since I’m not planning on dating them. Looks? I mean all girls look cute. Ultimately it comes down to who agrees to go home with me.”

“Would you take me home. Theoretically.”

Jay almost caused an accident but I chose to stay silent. My eyes landed on his fingers that gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“No.”

“Of course not.” I mumbled under my breath. “And may I know why?”

“Because you’re not one of those girls who like casual things.”

“I see.”

My breakup with Nick was nagging at me since the day he insisted to meet me for coffee. I had known something was off the second I stepped foot in the café and locked eyes with him. He started talking and I knew exactly where it was going, yet I stayed and listened to his bullshit excuse. Like the fool that I was. To this day I’m sure he broke up with me because he found someone better. Someone more fun.

“So, in other words, I’m boring.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. At all!” He turned and looked intently at me. I believed he was telling the truth. Either that or he was an exceptionally good liar.

“If I’m not boring then take me back to your place and let’s hook up.”

“You don’t want that.” He said calmly, but I could hear his grinding his teeth.

“You said a minute ago this was what college was for. Making dumb decisions. And you also told me I wasn’t boring, so we go. We do this!”

I looked over but he remained stone-faced.

"We're doing this!" I repeated, leaving no room for discussion.

Jay mumbled something that sounded like 'Fine.' and headed towards his dorm.

My confidence left me way too soon. What if Hannah and Brian were there? What would they think if they saw me with Jay? I fumbled with the hem of my shirt as Jay unlocked the door. Thankfully it was dark, which meant no one was home. Hannah and Brian might have gone out or something.

"You know where my room is. Go ahead! I'll meet you there in a sec."

I nodded and slowly walked over to Jay's room. It was the first time I saw it and I made sure to take everything in. I wasn't expecting such a large collection of books. Also his bed was smaller than I had anticipated.

A chuckle left my lips when I thought of the girls who agreed to come back here thinking they'd have a sex cave waiting for them.

No, this was a typical dorm room, and if I hadn't known Jay, I'd think this is just some geek's bedroom.

"You're still dressed!"

Jay's voice made me jump up and I quickly turned around, finding out he had only his boxer shorts on.

"Oh, I'll be a minute." I facepalmed myself, that was why he left me here alone. Was he doing that with all his girls?

"This is actually very convenient. I'll be able to get over Nick in zero time!"

"No talking! Unless it's dirty talk." Jay reminded me and put his fingers over my lips.

I lowered myself onto his bed and watched as Jay slowly climbed on top of me, nibbling on my neck. A moan immediately escaped my throat when simultaneously I felt his hand traveling south.

I took a deep breath, coming to terms that I was about to become one of Jay's many hookups. Not a title I was particularly proud of.

The snow hit the window ever so softly, but due to the absolute silence in the room, I thought I could hear it patter against the cold glass.

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see the familiar sight of my room but panicked when I didn't recognize my surroundings.

Then it all came back to me.

I hooked up. With Jay.

Begrudgingly, I climbed out of the bed. I must've fallen asleep, and Jay obviously didn't want to drag my heavy body back to his car to drive me to my dorm.

I shivered at my self-destructive thoughts. I was looking okay. No! I was good-looking. Admittedly, not a beanpole like the girls he usually fucked but I wasn't hideous.

I groaned audibly when images of last night flashed before my eyes.

Me riding Jay like his dick had some magical powers. Him pounding me from behind while a multitude of expletives left my lips. He was holding onto my hips, drilling into me relentlessly. I still had the marks to prove it.

Listening in closely, I couldn't make out any sounds coming from the other side of the door. Relieved, I cracked it open, carefully peeking out. I was alone. Within minutes I was dressed and sprinted to the door, the same way I had seen the girls leave Jay's room less that 24 hours ago.

Shame spread throughout me, I could never see Jay again.

I hadn't come up with a story until I saw Hannah waiting for me outside our dorm.

"Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick!"

I hugged her tight, apologizing over and over again. Inside, I connected my phone to the charger, sighing when I saw all the texts from her.

None from him., I thought to myself but buried those thoughts deep down in my soul.

Was I really expecting to hear from Jay? Last night he spelled it out clearly. Just one night! That's all these girls would ever get.

"Where were you?" Hannah's concerned voice rattled me.

"Huh? Oh, I fell asleep at the party. I woke up, surrounded by chaos and some people I've never met were cleaning up around me."

That was obviously a lie but I had seen enough teen movies to know what happened at parties like these.

"Damn, that little fucker!" She mumbled under her breath and I realized she was talking about Jay.

A strange urge to protect him came over me, so I quickly added. "Jay found me and wanted to keep me company. Said it was an order from you!"

"I just didn't want you to be alone amongst strangers. Was he not nice to you?"

I bit hard on my bottom lip, until I tasted blood. "I sent him away. I didn't need his company."

I prayed to God Jay hadn't met Brian yet, when I dived for my phone once Hannah left my room. We needed to align our stories.

Jay's POV

It took every once of strength I possessed to get up off the bed while Allie still laid in it, sleeping peacefully. I felt the exhaustion down to my bones, but it wasn't an unpleasant pain. While the sex with all those others girls was about me nutting fast and getting her to orgasm as well, with Allie I had taken my sweet time, memorizing every inch of her delectable body. She always wore loose fitting clothes so I had no idea the body of a sex goddess was hidden underneath them.

And what a sex goddess she was!

I chuckled when I downed the rest of my coffee and left for classes.

It was noon when a text message lit up my phone. I was sitting in the cafeteria, but I had no appetite. Several girls had already approached me to make plans for the night, but I had turned them all down. With a frown on their faces they left one by one after being rejected.

We didn't come up with a story, so I told Hannah I sent you away at the party and fell asleep there. If Brian asks, tell him the same.

I gritted my teeth. For once I didn't like lying to Brian even though I knew why Allie insisted on hiding the truth.

But there was also another reason that made my blood boil.

Last night, with Allie, it felt different. It wasn't a mindless fuck. I wasn't trying to deal with the pain when I had slept with her. At first I thought she was bluffing, that she would run out of the dorm at any moment. But she didn't. She stayed.

Idiot! She's not into you! When will you accept this? She said so herself. She only fucked you to get over her ex!

Allie had said this but I wasn't buying it. She wasn't that kind of girl.

Ok., I texted back. No matter how much I wanted a repeat of last night I had to get to terms with the fact that I wouldn't get a second chance with Allie.

Like on cue, Brian showed up next to me, looking dishevelled.

"What happened to you?" I looked at his as if he was crazy.

"Have you been outside? It's the freaking apocalypse! Like in that movie! Uh... what is it called again? Damn, Hannah and I watched it just the other day."

I had drowned out Brian's rattling and took the phone in my hand, texting Allie to be safe even before I could stop myself.

Ok., came her short reply. I couldn't hide the fact that I was pissed at her short answer but she was just mimicking me.

"Had fun last night?" Brian asked, absentmindedly checking his phone.

"I left early."

"Uh, Allie was a cockblock, wasn't she?"

Quite the opposite., I thought to myself and a small smile appeared on my lips. Quickly, I turned away from Brian, acting as if I needed to find something in my backpack.

"Actually she told me to leave. Didn't want me to babysit her." I lied as per our agreement.

"Hmm, Hannah predicted this. So, what? You got laid after?"

"No, I didn't."

"Dude, let's go out later for drinks then. I can't tap any, but you know I can be an excellent wing man!"

"Not in the mood, to be honest."

"Are you sick?" Brian cackled.

I kept staring into nothing, but from the corner of my eye I could see Brian raising an eyebrow at me.

It was after 10pm when I finally plopped down on my bed. I closed my eyes, trying to shift my focus to something else, but it was impossible. The bedsheets had absorbed Allie's scent, filling my nostrils, making me long for her body again.

Without much thought, I pulled out my phone and texted her.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Come over.

No.

Should I come over?

No!

Why not?

Because I know what you want, but I ain't giving it to you anymore.

I'm hurt. You think that little of me?

Yes! Now leave me alone.

I miss your body. It wasn't entirely a lie. I did miss her body. Amongst other things.

Pfft!

Just one more time.

No. This goes against your rule, remember?

So, would you come if it wasn't for that rule? Because I'm making an exception. The rule doesn't apply tonight.

The answer is still no.

Defeated, I threw the phone away from me, not trusting myself. It pinged seconds later and I was up so fast looking for it I got dizzy.

In the end it was just another one of these girls who only wanted to brag about how they had sex with me.

I decided that I wasn't going to give up that easily.

I'm coming over!, I texted Allie and left my dorm immediately.

-> click here for part 2