#There are so many spectacular line readings in this show

[hgedits]

I want in.

[joshsindigostreak]

'Tis the Damn Season

“I’m staying at my parent’s house, and the road not taken looks real good now…”

A Holiday One Shot 🎄

Josh Kiszka x F!Reader

Authors Note: Happy Holidays y’all!! Here’s a cozy Josh piece that is very self indulgent but so sweet!! Happy reading and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! 🍷🎄

Word Count: 8.5K

Warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, 18+, unprotected sex, oral sex both m/f receiving, swearing, internal angst.

Despite the ambient noise of the dive bar you were perched in, for the first time in three days you finally felt at peace. You loved your parents, but visiting them these days could be overwhelming, especially with the revolving door of family members showing up unannounced. There was only so much small talk one could take. You had lost count of how many times you described your job, your passion, as an acquisitions editor at a small publishing house, to various family members. Eventually you had to simplify it with a curt, “I get to be the person to say ‘yay,’ or ‘nay’ on their book submissions.” 

You loved your job. As much as it sucked to be the bad guy sometimes, the benefits of being able to work remotely and at your own pace made up for it. Getting paid to read was the best thing to happen to you in your twenties so far, and even though the pay wasn’t spectacular, you wouldn’t trade it for anything. There were times you were worried that making your passion your job would burn you out of reading in your own time, but so far you still found the time to bury your nose in a new tome of choice. 

When you had packed for your trip back home, a small stack of books made it into your luggage, along with your trusty Kindle that was loaded with various quick reads that let you turn your brain off and enjoy the ride. It took everything within you to not check your work emails on your laptop, but you were on the precious few PTO days your employer had allotted everyone in your department, and you were determined to use them properly. 

The bar you had sought refuge in was a local one a few blocks from your house. It was one your dad would always go to hang out with his buddies when you were younger and he was still working that 9-5 throughout the week. 

As you sat on the wobbly bar stool, your ankles crossed and your toes rested on the metal bar attached to the wood paneling of the bar itself. A solitary glass of dark red wine sat on the bar top, inches from the book you were devouring. It wasn’t anything complicated, and many would call it a dime-a-dozen romantic fantasy, filled with magic and tall dark love interests with horrific social skills. But sometimes, the familiar nature of the plot and characters was comforting. The plot might not have been overly unique, but the curiosity of how the author was going to weave together these tropes was half the fun. How was this author going to handle the “oh…” moment between two enemies? What mundane task will trigger the main character into a flashback of a lost love that got away? 

This personal game of yours was a slippery slope, as you had to practically pavlov yourself into not going into work mode while reading, but you kept yourself in check for the most part. At least that's what you would tell yourself. 

You flipped another page in the book, eager to see how the current scene was unfolding. The imagery was building in your mind so well that you hadn’t even noticed a familiar, sweet and dimpled face, had slipped into the bar with a few friends. 

Josh had shed his fluffy, faux fur lined coat, one that was way too ostentatious for the small town atmosphere, but he wrote it off on how practical it was for keeping the cold winter air from chilling his bones. He had decided against the beanie that he typically wore with it, in favor of letting his hair show itself off as it normally did. Tonight was not the night for hat-hair, though the singer was unsure where this conclusion had come from earlier in the evening. The nagging feeling of, you need to look nice, had been lingering in his brain for the past few hours. 

In his typical fashion, he hadn’t shut his mouth the entire time he had been inside the establishment. Rattling off story after story from being on the road with his brothers and their band, cracking up at his own jokes, letting the excitement of being home and seeing the same faces he grew up with. 

The pool table in the far corner had been where his group had settled, drinks settled on the edge with pool sticks in their hands. Josh was bent over the table settling in to make his shot when a figure hunched slightly on a bar stool, turning a page in the book sitting on the bar top.

 Your profile was slightly obscured from where he was an how you were sitting on the stool, and it wasn’t until the bartender came over to refill your wine glass and your name tumbled from their mouth in conversation that it clicked for the rock star who had probably made the worst pool shot in his life at the sound of it. 

You. It was you. 

His cheeks heated in the embarrassment of his shitty shot and the memories that materialized in his mind’s eye. Sitting next to you in algebra, making eye contact and shrugging when neither of you knew whatever the fuck your teacher was talking about. Or walking past you in the hallway as you slammed your locker shut trying to book it to your next class. He’d ignored the sinking feeling he had every time it happened that had him wishing his locker was in the same hall as yours, not annoying around the corner. But other times of bumping elbows with you in the lunch line, sharing grimaces at the dry square pizza in front of you. A few of the dumb sarcastic quips he’d made in class in a hushed whisper  (well, as much of a whisper as Josh Kiszka could produce), just to make you bite your lip and try not to giggle too loud, echoed in his mind. 

He hadn’t seen you since the last week of senior year, specifically at a graduation party one of your mutual friends had thrown together last minute. His final memory of your face was how it crumpled slightly as a very tipsy Morgan Pearson had led him up the stairs. It was an image that had haunted him for a long time, because by the time he had made it back downstairs you had already left the party, and he knew you were off on your summer road trip with your parents in the morning. From there he had observed on Facebook you settling into your freshman dorm in a school that was states away, seemingly doing well. Eventually his own band took over all of his time and his internet scrolling was behind him as he saw the world with his brothers. 

Fuck. 

He needed to talk to you. 

Your eyes flitted over to the next page as you took in the new chapter heading, not wanting to be distracted from the cliffhanger the previous chapter had ended on. 

The heroine had just discovered some deep family secrets that rattled her entire being, changing the entire trajectory of her journey so-

“Whatcha readin’?” 

The fantasy world in your mind dissolved at the sound of that voice. A voice, as the cliche says, you hadn’t heard in years. If it had been anyone else, you would have bitten their head off for rudely interrupting your reading, But slowly your eyes fluttered upwards at the source, using every mitochondria in your body to not visibly react at how…different he looked. Not different in an unrecognizable way, but in a way that showed you that he had grown into his own body. That the boyish awkwardness had evolved into a strong jaw and broad shoulders. He…he had facial hair now, and briefly a memory flashed in your mind of him in junior year lamenting about how patchy his upper lip was no matter what he did. 

The sides of his head were shorn down to the skin, and the dim lighting of the bar had you almost convinced he had a mohawk until you looked closer and saw it was closer to a mullet instead. It was a look you would have never considered for him, but it fit perfectly, and he looked beautiful with it. 

And there it was, the knot that would form in your throat whenever you were in his presence. You hadn’t felt that particular sensation since the night of that god awful graduation party. The very party where you had last seen the man before you. 

Your mouth parted dumbly as he parked himself on the stool next to yours. 

“...Josh?” was all you could say. 

He breathed out your name, in a low tone that made your stomach flip. As he took a sip of whatever mixed drink he had in one hand, his other reached over for your book to get a good look of the cover. Emotional and muscle memory kicked in and you allowed him in your personal space, practically letting him take the book out of your hands. In the past, the two of you were always spatially close. Eating off each other's plates, unconsciously scooting your chairs closer together, or grabbing the same seats on the bus for field trips. You weren’t attached to the hip, but somehow whenever you would be in the same room you’d always end up next to each other. 

Josh mouthed the words of the title silently to himself, eyebrows raising slightly at your book of choice. 

“Must be pretty good, you didn’t even notice me walking over,” he said before taking another sip of his drink. 

A nervous laugh rattled through you, “y-yeah it’s pretty immersive.” 

Your eyes were trained on his face, mapping out all of the same but new features, and you wondered if he was doing the same to you as his warm gaze hadn’t left you. 

Josh was most definitely taking you in, as well. You looked so proper sitting on that stool in an oversized black sweater that fell past your hips and hid most of the skirt you had been wearing under it. He tried his best not to make it obvious he was staring at your legs and the tights that were wrapped around them that led down to your boots. But the singer flicked his eyes back to your face, and noted all the subtle changes since the last time he had seen you. You looked so…grown up now, that he felt like he had missed so much in the last few years. It was a feeling he had whenever he came back home, but with you…with you it bothered him, and that feeling caught him off guard. 

Because he was Josh, and he could never let silence linger too long, “so what made you bring a book to a bar of all places?” 

And in a matter of seconds, you began relaying to him how the trip back home had been the last few days, and how much you needed a break from it all. 

“...you remember that uncle that's technically my dads cousin but I call him uncle cause he’s a lot older than my dad?”

Josh nodded along. 

“He’s so fucking loud, dude. And he never shuts up and because of this my grandmother turns up the TV and no one tells him to quiet down so between the TV blasting and him rambling about the dumbest things…ugh and my mother wouldn’t stop hovering over me! I needed to get out of there.” 

He smiled as you hashed out your family drama, flashing his teeth as he did so. There were follow up questions on his end, asking about your parents and grandparents and how they had been. Josh had been one of your few friends who went out of his way to be charming to your parents. He had earned the, “oh Josh is welcome any time he wants…” invitation by fifth grade alone. 

You took a sip of your wine, “oh my god I’ve been talking so much about me, what about you? How’s the band going?” 

It was his turn to blush slightly as he began telling you about the most recent tour they had been on, and how this was a mini break between tour legs and that at the beginning of the year they were off to a new continent. 

He pointed over his shoulder at his friends who were still milling around the pool table, “...in fact Danny is right over there.” 

You turned and gave the drummer a once-over. The last time you had seen Danny Wagner he was this gangly awkward teenager who nervously laughed at everything. But there he was, in a red sweater with perfect spiral curls spilling over his shoulders. The sweater itself was very form fitting on him and it was easy to see how muscled out his shoulders and arms had become over the years. 

“Holy shit, that’s Danny Wagner?” You gave him a slight wave when he made eye contact with you, and he politely waved back with a shy smile. 

Josh, rather indignantly, noticed the way you were looking at Danny and a sharp stabbing feeling of jealousy shot through him. Heat reached the surface of his cheeks and he momentarily contemplated reaching over to gently turn your chin back to him. 

But before Josh could even shove that thought away, you turned to fully face him, and gave a nod to the bartender to get you another glass of wine. Something deep down felt more settled when your attention was fully back on him.

However, you could feel those big brown eyes staring at you as you glanced at Danny. It was such a fixed stare that you were all too familiar with. In the rare moments that Josh was quiet, he would be staring into space, deep in thought. More often than not you chalked it up to him zoning out, but having those unblinking eyes on you had your heart hammering in your chest. 

It wasn’t the first time he had looked at you like that. There were several small,  fleeting moments throughout your adolescence where you’d catch his eyes on you. On the bus coming home from a field trip, walking towards you at your locker, in US History, and even at various house parties you found yourselves at. Your reaction was always the same: the skin of your neck would heat up and prickle up to your cheeks as they flushed. He never called you on it, and for a long time you had convinced yourself that he just hadn’t noticed. Because he never said anything, the idea of it actually meaning something was too great to get your hopes up for. 

There it was, Josh thought. 

That flush of color that darkened your skin whenever he looked at you for too long. It had taken him an embarrassing amount of time to figure out that he was the cause of it, but when he did he would sometimes make you blush on purpose. Maybe it was an ego thing, but he also couldn’t believe you reacted that way to him. He hated the term of someone being out of someone’s league; but even after being in the spotlight for his career and knowing what it felt like when a room full of people swooned at him he still didn’t feel he was in the same universe as yours. 

You were always so poised and collected, even during your awkward stage. Whereas he was always pinging off the walls with his endless supply of energy and charm. 

Why would you even consider a little shit like him?  

The blissful silence was interrupted however, when you saw the door to the bar swing open and a new group of people rushed in to escape the cold. Josh’s back was to the door, but he watched your eyes travel to the side to look behind him, and he didn’t hesitate to whip his head around to see who you were looking at. 

Only one of them rang a bell, a dirty blonde in a bright blue winter coat. Was she in his home room? No…but her locker had been on the same hallway as his. 

“Is that…?”

“Miranda Sheridan,” you murmured  a little too quickly as you turned back to your wine and fiddled with the corner of your book. In all honesty, you didn’t have an issue with Miranda. The two of you had gotten along just fine in school. Well enough that you secured invites to her house from time to time. Well, Josh, had secured invites for you. 

“Oh yeah her parents had that huge property!” He excitedly remembered while throwing a gentle wave in her direction.

You hated the way your stomach twisted when she waved back.  

Her parents owned a couple of acres out in the county, which wasn’t very elaborate, but it was perfect for a lot of the parties teenagers would get themselves into. Josh particularly remembered her dad had an old toolshed in the back that their friends tried to hot box more than once. 

Naturally, her place had been the place to host the main graduation party. You tried to think of anything else, but your mind flooded with the memories of walking around her house with a cliched solo cup, trying to find Josh, your anchor in social situations, and coming up empty and settling on the couch. When you finally laid eyes on him, he was being led by the hand towards the stairs by another girl. No it hadn’t been Miranda, but someone else in your grade that had a very obvious crush on Josh and never tried hiding it. 

Josh looked over his shoulder, his tongue between his teeth as he laughed at something someone said as he walked by. His smile faded as soon as he saw you, sitting all by yourself on the couch. His feet were moving for him, but not towards you. He was already ascending the stairs, eyes locked on yours before the girl attached to his arm tugged at his wrist to get his attention and he followed her upstairs and out of sight. 

That had been the last time you had seen Josh before tonight. 

And by emotional muscle memory, your stomach plummeted just as it had years ago. 

Before you could stop it, you bit out, “we went to her graduation party, remember?” 

The singer’s head snapped back to face you.

That party. 

His voice was quiet, “you…you left early, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t feeling well.” 

He could tell it was a lie. An excuse. 

“I just meant…I tried finding you after-”

“After what?” Once again your mouth betrayed you. 

The trunk of the elephant in the room was practically wrapping around Josh’s neck, and his chest felt tight. 

Even softer, he said “after I came downstairs…”

In response, all you did was hum into your glass as you took another sip, an eyebrow arching like a freshly-awoken cat. 

“I had to get home anyway. I had to be on a plane early the next morning.” 

That, he remembered. Your parents had surprised you with a trip across the country as your graduation present. 

But Josh struggled to find the words of what he wanted to say. He hadn’t even been upstairs for twenty minutes before he finally flew down the stairs to find you, only to see the couch filled with different people and one of your other friends informing him that you had caught a ride back home. 

It hadn’t been a complete cut off, the two of you still texted as normal for a few weeks and liked each other's facebook statuses. But the texts became less frequent, and eventually dwindled down to leaving each other on delivered for days at a time. With the band finally starting to take off, and you drowning in your college classes, communication became near impossible. 

“Right…”

“Plus I didn’t want to interrupt your night. You were having too much fun up there.”

This time it was Josh’s turn to twist the side of his mouth and quirk an eyebrow, “what exactly do you think I did that night?”

You scoffed slightly and tilted your head, “Josh.” 

“No, I want you to say it.” 

You stared at him. It felt dumb to get to this point but you weren’t embarrassed. But the same jealousy and adrenaline from that night flooded your system, and after rolling your lip between your teeth you replied, 

“You and…whats her name…hooked u-”

“We didn’t hook up,” he said firmly, not blinking. 

“Made out-”

“We didn’t make out, either.” 

“Well what were you doing up there?” You huffed. 

“Don’t get me wrong, she clearly wanted to do both of those things. But before she could even try to kiss me she was doubled over puking all over the bathroom sink. I spent the next few minutes holding her hair while she let it all out. Apparently all of the vodka shots caught up with her.” 

You sat there, face unmoving as you took in what he said. For years you had it built up in your head that while you were fleeing that house your best friend was hooking up with someone else. 

Now the embarrassment started to creep in. 

The quiet tone returned, “I didn’t even like her like that anyway.” 

You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you now. 

You had to get out of here. This was too much. 

“I need to get going,” you began as you started to dig through your purse to pay for your drinks.

Josh was quicker than you and he turned to the bartender and slapped his card down on the bar top and asked to pay for his tab and yours. 

“Josh you don’t have to-” 

“But I am,” he said firmly, looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he scribbled on the receipts. 

That tone…that tone was new coming from him. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t annoyed, but he was being authoritative in a way you hadn’t heard before. 

Your insides were squirming for multiple reasons now. 

After the bills were settled he faced you again. He wasn’t letting you slip away again. He couldn’t.  

“Let me walk you home.”

You slid off the bar stool, “it's only a couple blocks, Josh, you don’t have to.” 

“I want to.” 

There was again, that tone. 

Not wanting to fight anymore, you nodded and the both of you made your way to the exit for your coats. You caught Josh tapping out a quick text to who you assumed was Danny to let him know where he was going. 

Silently the two of you slipped outside and into the winter air. The icy breeze stung your face after being used to the heat of the bar. You shivered slightly, but tried not to show it as you turned toward the direction of your house. 

Josh shoved his hands in his pockets for warmth, noticing the tiny flakes that had begun to fall from the sky. Had it even been forecasted to snow tonight? In any case, he purposely walked a little closer to you, letting your arms brush together. 

“I didn’t know it was supposed to snow tonight?” You wondered out loud. 

“Mother Nature is spiteful, that way, I guess.”

He hated how awkward it felt now. How the familiarity and ease of talking to you had evaporated as soon as Miranda Sheridan had chosen that specific bar to walk into. 

Soon enough, your house was in view, and your steps picked up the pace to get there faster. Josh followed you into the driveway and to the side of the garage where there were stairs that led up to your room above it. You moved into that space your senior year after your dad had renovated it, and he had only been in it a handful of times before graduation. 

Before you could even reach for the rail, Josh’s hand flew out of his pocket and took a hold of yours, gently lacing your fingers with his. 

The sudden contact had your heart in your throat. 

“You really thought I hooked up with her?” He felt your hand stiffen at his words, but he continued, “as soon as I saw you on that couch, I knew I was making a mistake.”

The flakes started coming down harder now, growing in size as they fell. 

“But you still went up there.”

His shoulders sank slightly, “I know…I shouldn’t have though. She wasn’t the girl I liked anyway.”

Denial is a strong thing, and you were letting it win, “she wasn’t?”

“No…I liked someone else but I second guessed myself all the time around her, thinking she’d never be into me anyway.” 

“How could you be sure of that?”

Josh’s fingers squeezed your hand, “I don’t know she just…she could do so much better than me and there were plenty of better options out there. Never thought I stood a chance.”

Your jaw started trembling and you weren’t sure if it was from the cold or from what he was implying.

 

“You really think there are better options than you?” You mirrored his earlier comment back to him. 

His eyes slowly met yours, deliberately giving you the look he knew would darken your cheeks. 

“So much better…”

“I don’t think so…,” your voice was almost as soft as the snow that was accumulating on the ground around you. 

Consequences be damned, you started to lean towards his face. 

His long eyelashes fluttered slightly as he realized what you were doing, and he leaned in and gently brushed his full lips against yours.

At the contact, your heart went from hammering in your chest to exploding. Years of daydreaming of this scenario had finally come to an end, culminating in a kiss that had your knees shaky.

He pulled away slightly to look at you again, only to surge forward and slide his free hand up your jaw to cradle your face. His lips pressed against yours even harder, a sudden wave of emotion taking the wheel in Josh’s mind. 

The both of you had years of pent up feelings and the dams were breaking. 

His other hand reluctantly dropped your hand in favor of wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer. 

The move took you by surprise, but you relaxed in his arms and tilted your head slightly and parted your lips. Immediately his tongue ran along your bottom lip before delving into your mouth. A low groan rose from his throat and his fans flexed slightly against your cheek.

A gust of wind whipped around you, causing you to shiver against his lips. 

“N-need to get you inside,” Josh chuckled, leaning his forehead on yours. 

You took a step backwards, resting your foot on the first step. 

“Come up with me?”

He answered with a quick kiss on your lips and mumbled, “lead the way…”

With a grin you turned and hurried up the steps, trying your best not to slip in the slush. Your hands shook as you unlocked your door, nearly stumbling inside to escape the cold. 

As soon as you had shut the door, Josh pushed you against it and started unzipping your coat and planting his lips on your neck. You made quick work of his too and both outer layers were haphazardly thrown onto a chair in the corner. His icy hands started fiddling with the bottom of your sweater, and you both paused at the silent question of going forward. 

He lifted his head out of the crook of your neck to look at you, “we don’t have to if you don’t…I mean we can just hang out if thats all-” 

You shushed him by taking his strong jaw in your hands and gave him a searing kiss. He kissed you back as another wave of emotion washed over him.

 

After letting his lips warm up against yours you pulled back and stared into his eyes, “Josh…this is all I want right now.” 

His eyelashes fluttered again, and this time his cheeks were darkening at the look you were giving him. 

“You sure?” 

“Please…”

Not needing to be told twice, his hands disappeared under your sweater and swept across the skin of your sides. You jolted slightly at how cold they were, but didn’t let it deter you from kissing him again, melting into his touch. His hands slowly rose to cup your breasts through your bra, and the light squeeze had you fighting to keep the low whine in your throat. 

Josh noticed you holding back and leaned in to whisper in your ear, “it’s just me…let me hear you…” 

The low tone of his voice had your body shivering under his hands and when his teeth grazed the skin of your neck you didn’t even try to hold back the breathy whine you made. Impatiently you helped him get your sweater off of your body, flinging it blindly to the side. You stared at the hungry look in his eyes as you reached behind your back to unhook your bra. Wanting to torture him even further, you purposely took your time letting it slide off your arms and onto the floor. His eyes never left your chest as he reached to take one of your breasts into his hand, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. Before you could fully register the feeling he was bending his head down to replace his fingers with his mouth, moaning into your soft skin. He gave the other side the same attention, before reaching behind you for the zipper to your skirt. 

As he knelt down to shimmy it down your hips, you practically clawed at his long sleeve shirt off of him. The lighting  in your room was dim, but you were able to see all of the muscles on his body that were definitely not there the last time you saw him. His arms were much more toned than you thought, and his shoulders and chest were defined in a way that had your lip rolling into your mouth between your teeth. 

Josh made quick work in getting your boots off, helping you step out of them and your skirt. His eyes flicked up at you and they were so much darker than before. He rose to his feet quickly and slammed his mouth onto yours, squeezing your hips and the back of your thighs as he directed you to jump and wrap your legs around him. With a level of coordination you didn’t know he had, you were spun around while he walked the both of you to your bed. It was still in the same place it always had been, in the corner by the window. 

He gently sat you on the edge of the bed, kissing down your body until he was once again knelt before you on the floor. The sight of his blown out pupils and swollen lips sent a flash of heat to your core, and you couldn’t even squeeze your thighs together as he was rolling your tights down your legs and swiftly off your feet. 

You never could have anticipated how the night was going to turn out, so your choice in underwear wasn’t the sexiest pair you owned, but that didn’t stop your best friend from planting kisses along the waist band, tentatively dipping his finger tips under the cotton material to start pulling them down. Your breath caught as you raised your hips to help him out, and within seconds your final layer of clothing was added to the pile on the floor. 

Looking down at him, you scooted back towards the headboard with your legs shut, and he crawled up the bed after you. With your head settled on your pillow he hovered above you for a moment, bringing his hand to trace along your jaw and down your neck, looking at you in a way you had only dreamed about thus far. 

You weren’t going to get emotional, but you couldn’t help it. It was just fully hitting you, as you felt the heat radiate off his body, and the weight of him as he settled on top of you. Thankfully your eyes only welled up a tiny bit, but Josh still noticed and his brow furrowed. His eyes softened and he seemed to sense why you were suddenly still and quiet. He could always guess what you were feeling, even when you were kids. 

His thumb brushed your lips so softly you barely felt it, “I know…” 

He kissed the corner of your mouth before leaving a trail of kisses down your throat, chest, and stomach. He brushed his lips across the skin right above your core where your curls started to grow. He was so close to where you needed him. Carefully he planted a few kisses on your thighs before drawing your legs up and bending your knees, taking his time in case you changed your mind at any point. 

Slowly, he spread your legs apart to finally get a proper look at you, and his breath caught in his throat as your gorgeous core laid bare before him. He was glued to his spot on the bed, eyes sweeping your body, having his own moment of realizing that this was real, and you were actually beneath him like this. His eyes traveled back up to yours, unusually silent for someone who always has something to say, no matter the situation. 

Instead, he traveled down the soft flesh of your thigh, leaving searing kisses in his wake. Just when you thought he was going to reach your core, he turned his head to do the same to your other leg. A low whine rumbled in your throat, and you felt his lips spread into a smile against your skin. You felt the faintest huff of breath as he tried to contain a laugh. 

His mouth hovered over your core, just out of reach. He wanted to memorize you, every detail, every feature that was so uniquely you. He used his thumbs to slowly spread your lips apart, dumbfounded at just how wet you were for him and how your arousal was beginning to pool and drip off of you. 

Your hips twitched in his hands, desperate for any contact beyond his feather-light touches. The way he was looking at your body, with blown out pupils and a parted mouth was only driving you crazier. 

At last, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore before dipping his head down to plunge his tongue into your center, moaning as he finally tasted you. A years-long curiosity was answered, and it was better than anything he had tried to imagine. 

The vibrations had you involuntarily arching into his face. He wasted no time to begin lapping at your folds, swirling his tongue wherever he could. But when he finally wrapped his lips around your clit, stars exploded behind your eyelids as you squeezed your eyes shut. 

“Fuck…” was shouted towards the ceiling, and it encouraged him even more as he sucked even harder on your clit as one of his fingers circled your entrance. One of your hands shot down to his hair, tangling your fingers in his curls to hold him in place. His tongue was swirling around your clit now and the finger that had been teasing you slowly entered. Immediately your walls clenched around him, relishing the friction and slight stretch it brought you. 

Josh continued to pump and curl his finger inside you as he spoiled your clit with his tongue. He was so hard that his pants were nearly suffocating him, but he ignored it in favor of giving you all of his attention. A second finger joined the first inside you, and he curled them upwards to hit that spot inside you that had your fingers nearly pulling out his hair and grinding against his face. He could feel the muscles in your thighs tense and strain against his ears. You kept trying to close your legs completely around him, but he used his other hand to anchor you down and keep you spread so he could reach you properly. 

The spring inside you was coiling tighter and tighter, each drag of his fingertips and swipe of his tongue sent you hurtling closer and closer to the edge. 

You were past the point of moaning and could only muster pitiful whines and whimpers. You were so fucking close,  and clinging to his fingers so tightly that he could barely move them. He flattened his tongue against your clit, letting your hips grind and chase your high against him for a few seconds before closing his lips around it once more and sucked on it harshly as you shouted his name. His fingers and mouth worked you through it, letting you ride it out and prolong it as best he could. When your clit became too sensitive he peppered kisses along your thighs again, continuing to pump his fingers slower and slower until he was sure he had felt the last twitch and aftershock of your orgasm. 

He carefully pulled his fingers from you and immediately brought them to his mouth, savoring your taste while cleaning himself off. You used this moment to pull your hand from his hair and down to his cheek, tilting his gaze to you as you propped yourself up on your other elbow. The moonlight caught the shine of your arousal mixed with the matted facial hair. 

Josh quickly sat up on his knees to work at his belt, impatiently sliding off the bed for a moment to fully pull his pants down his legs and off his feet. He was left in his tight boxers, leaving nothing to the imagination as his length pulsed under the fabric. 

Now, it was your turn to crawl over to him, your mouth watering as your eyes traveled down his torso and followed his happy trail to the band of his boxers. You reached up and curled your fingers around the elastic, peeling the final layer of clothing down his thighs and let them pool around his ankles. 

Your eyes were on his cock now, marveling at just how thick it was. Tentatively you reached your hand up to wrap your fingers around it. The feeling of it twitch slightly against your palm sent a shot of arousal through your body. 

He stood stock still at the edge of the bed, his entire body tensing as you touched and felt him. His lower lip was trapped between his teeth and he nearly drew blood when you bent forward and placed a soft kiss on the head. But it was when your lips wrapped around him and your hand slid to the base that his head rolled back on his shoulders and your name escaped his lips. 

A drop of pre-cum landed on your tongue and you wanted nothing more to keep going until he was a whiny mess, shuddering under your touch. 

All too soon his hips backed away from you, pulling his cock from your mouth as you looked up at his almost apologetic eyes. 

“If you keep doing that…”

“But I wanted to keep doing that,” you nearly whined up at him. 

He closed his eyes for a second and breathed through his nose, trying to calm himself down. 

He looked down at you, dark eyes swimming in desire, “but there’s so much more I want to do with you first…” 

He kicked the boxers fully off his feet before kneeling over you on the bed again, flattening you back against your pillows as your legs spread to allow his hips to settle against yours. Briefly his cock was trapped between you, and the feeling of it radiating heat against your skin made you anticipate the next move even more. He captured your lips with his as one of his hands reached down to grip himself, running the head of his cock through your folds and allowing your arousal to coat him before he positioned himself at your entrance. 

You took his bottom lip between your teeth and angled your hips towards him, desperate to finally feel him. 

Slowly he pushed forward, trying to pace himself so this night wouldn’t end embarrassingly fast. 

The way he stretched you as he pushed all the way in had you seeing stars. You felt so full in the best way, like he was made for you. 

“S-so tight…” he hissed as he fully sheathed himself inside you, his pelvic bone resting on your clit. 

Your legs instinctively wrapped around his hips to keep him in place, wanting him as close to you as possible. 

The two of you remained still, getting used to the feeling of one another before Josh’s own needs started to creep up on him. He pulled back out slightly, before pushing back in. He buried his face into the crook of your neck as he began to move, kissing your neck and throat as you mewled at the stretch and drag of his cock. One arm of his framed your head while the other slid underneath you to grip your ass. He tilted your hips this way so that his pelvis was grinding perfectly against your clit as he built up speed. 

Your nails dug until the skin of his shoulder blades as you tried to hold onto him. You were still so sensitive from your previous orgasm that your second one was quickly building up inside you. You locked your ankles at the small of his back while your hands reached for his face to crash your lips against his. 

At this point he was slamming into you, chasing not only his own high but yours. He needed to feel it. The euphoric squeeze around his fingers earlier wasn’t enough. He needed more. He needed to feel your entire body shudder and quake underneath him;  around him. The sound of your bodies colliding with each other was driving him insane. 

The hand that had been gripping your ass slid around your hip and snaked between you and his fingers pinched and rolled your clit expertly, making your second orgasm his only priority. 

Your back arched at the contact the combined friction of his thick cock and his fingers had you flying off the edge, clamping down around him as you shouted his name again into the air. 

“God..fuck…sh-,” expletives tumbled from his mouth as he felt you shake from your orgasm. He tried to hold back but his cock twitched inside you and he bottomed out one last time as his release coated your walls. He tried his best to keep working you through yours, using every synapse in his brain to ignore his own heightened sensitivity. 

Eventually, you both came down from your highs and your bodies relaxed against each other and the bed. Your eyes fluttered open to find him staring at you, his face soft like it had been when he had first looked at your body fully. His lips were parted in awe, and you brushed your thumb across them. 

“That…should’ve happened a long time ago…” he confessed trying to catch his breath. 

“Agreed.”

His mouth formed a smile and his eyes twinkled, “but hey…this time I really did go upstairs with a girl and hooked up with her…”

“Josh!” Your eyes widened and you playfully pushed his shoulder. He laughed into a kiss before turning to look at the door on the far wall of your room. 

“Bathroom, right?”

You nodded with a smile and he slowly pulled out of you, hissing at the sensitivity and the cold air hitting his cock. He beelined for the door and you heard water running briefly before he returned with a thankfully warm washcloth to clean the both of you up. He discarded it into the hamper before crawling back into bed with you, gathering your body in his arms under the covers. 

The way his breath washed over your neck was so comforting and warm that sleep quickly overtook you and you drifted off while you felt his lips brush your skin. 

The next morning, sunlight streamed into your room. Josh was the first to pry his eyes open, and in the silence he took in just how much of a time capsule your room was. The same posters were on your walls, a couple film posters he had given you himself. An obsolete iHome sat on the top of your dresser, surrounded by a collection of jewelry and trinkets that looked familiar to him. 

You stirred in his arms, and he rasped in your ear, “Mmm…morning, lover.” 

The endearment sent a jolt of adrenaline through you and your eyes shot open. It was real. He was really in your bed, his strong arms holding you as those beautiful eyes looked at you in reverence. Your heart was stuttering in your chest. 

“Morning…” you replied, forefinger and thumb capturing his chin and pulling him down for a slow kiss. 

For a while the two of you just cuddled in silence, before a buzz from Josh’s pants pocket on the floor alerted him to a text. Reluctantly, he reached down towards the floor to fish his phone out of the pocket. His notifications were a bunch of texts from his brothers asking for his whereabouts and when he was going to grace them with his presence again. Quickly he typed out a few responses, not fully giving away how his night ended up but letting them know he wasn’t lying in a ditch somewhere. 

He sighed as he placed his phone on your nightstand. 

“I’m being summoned…”

You felt a pang in your heart, the other reality of him eventually leaving hitting you. 

He felt you tense in his arms and his brows furrowed, “what’s wrong?” 

You turned to face him fully, not wanting to sound needy or clingy, but not knowing how else to put it, “I just…I don’t want you to go…” 

“You can come with me if you want! I’m sure my mom would love to see you and Jake-”

You cut him off, “right but…what happens after that?” 

He looked confused, “what do you mean?” 

You wanted the earth to open up and swallow you at this point, but you needed to know, “what does this mean…?” 

Realization formed on his face as he connected the dots, then shyness crept over his features, “what do you want it to mean?”

“We can’t just go back to being friends now…I can’t pretend that this never happened and-.” your chin wobbled a little as you tried to explain yourself, trying to keep your emotions at bay, but remembering how he had literally just called you lover made it impossible. 

“I don’t think we can go back to being just friends either…” he started. You started to panic  before he continued, “and I don’t have it in me to even try to pretend this never happened. I can’t go back to being a stranger, or just some guy you went to school with.”

“You were never just some guy, Josh…”

He rolled over you, hovering his face above yours, “then maybe…we can see how this goes…?”

You bit your lip, “yeah?” 

He smiled, “yeah,” before slotting his lips over yours and giving you the most tender kiss so far. He relaxed on top of you, allowing himself to be wrapped up in your arms as you lazily made out together as the sun slipped behind some clouds and it began snowing again. 

Eventually you made it out of bed to shower and get dressed. As Josh donned his outfit from the night before, he couldn’t help but be a little smug at how it would be a dead giveaway to what he had been up to the previous night. But then he remembered who his brothers were. 

He looked up hastily as he tied his shoes, “I do have to warn you that my brothers are going to be really annoying about this, but just ignore it.” 

You placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “it’ll be fine, Josh.” 

He smiled and rose to his feet, kissing you again. 

Soon you were carefully making it down the snowy steps, trying to get to your car when Josh froze on the bottom step. You nearly collided with his back when you looked in the direction he was looking at and made direct eye contact with…your father. Your dad was standing on the covered porch, drinking a coffee. 

Well fuck. 

Josh and your dad seemed to be in a weird staring contest, silently communicating with each other. 

You stepped around Josh, hitting your key fob to unlock your car. 

“Not exactly what I had in mind when I told you you were always welcome at my house, Josh…” 

Your face flushed with embarrassment, “oh my god, Dad…” 

Quickly you and Josh bolted to your car, but not before Josh gave a toothy grin and wave at your dad, exclaiming, “nice to see you!” before shutting his door. 

You gave him a look as you clicked your seatbelt and started the car. 

He threw his hands up. grinning, “what? It could’ve been worse.” 

But as you pulled out of your driveway, and pulled up to the first stop sign on the street, Josh reached over the console and took your hand, bringing your fingers to his lips and giving them a soft kiss. The embarrassment from earlier melted away as he gave you that look again.

Your cheeks betrayed you and splotched with red. Inwardly you figured you’d always do that when he looked at you like that, and the thought warmed you instead of bothering you this time. 

It wasn’t long before you pulled into Josh’s family driveway. The drive over had been pure muscle memory and comfortable silence between the two of you. 

But as you got out of your car, you were met with the all too familiar voice of his youngest brother, Sam. 

“Oh my fucking god, I knew it!” He yelled from the top of the driveway. 

“Shut up, Sam,” Josh warned as he rounded the car to you and took your hand.

“Shut up, Sam,” the younger brother mocked right back at him, laughing his signature laugh. 

But for once, the holidays didn’t seem as daunting now that you had your best friend, Josh, back at your side. 

Fin

Tag List:  @dannyandthekiszkas , @readyforthegarden , @sinners-go-to-drink-the-wine , @wideminded-dreamer , @runwayblues , @wildbluesorbit , @llightmyllovee , @rhythm-of-space , @sacredthefran , @writingcold , @alwaysonthemend , @wetkleenex-gvf , @josh-iamyour-mama , @lightsofthe-living-gvf , @gvfcinema, @sacredthethreadgvf , @losfacedevil , @jakekiszkasbuttsweat , @shutupdevvie , @hearts-hunger , @gretavanfleetposts , @ascendingtostardust , @mackalah , @andromeda-raine-gvf , @jake-kiszkas-smirk , @gracev0609 , @sacredjake , @earthlysorrows , @gvfpal , @myownparadise96 , @itsafullmoon , @gvfmelbourne, @twistedmelodies , @that-witchy-pan , @gold-mines-melting , @texas-bbq-pringles , @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface , @childinthegardenn , @char289 , @stardustvanfleet , @sunfl0wer-power , @holdingup-fallingsky , @bladenotblaze , @gretavanlace , @lipstickitty , @jjwasneverhere , @josiee-gvf , @peaceloveunitygvf , @musicislove3389 , @gretavanhockey , @gretavanazula

[achaoticeternal]

a presentation

word count: 750 summary: finding aemond admiring the throne once more, you tell him of your wish to simply be his wife again a/n: just a quick drabble to get some writing going again. not proofread. this is based off the song the greatest by billie eilish

All my love and patience Unappreciated You said your heart was jaded You couldn't even break it

The mass of swords welded together to form the Iron Throne loomed over the Throne Room. Its' magnificence was equally spectacular yet terrifying. An item that represented unity and obedience melded together by fire and death.

It was a seat many had craved over time. Yet she saw the jagged edges that had nicked King Viserys, then Aegon... and soon Aemond would be subjected to it. She had dreamed of it only nights prior.

Her husband ascends the Throne before a mass of nobles and common folk alike. A wolfish smile invades the faces of those surrounding them. Yet when he took his seat with the Conqueror's crown high on his silken hair, an undulled sword from the arm of the chair would slice his palm open. The princess had felt it an omen, an even darker one after Meleys had been carted through the street. The dream was the only thing to replay in her mind as she approached where Aemond now stood. His eyes flickered our the steel of swords stuck together permanently. She always sensed his hunger for power and prayed that his thirst did not come at the cost of blood or their marriage. But the gods paid little favor to them. "It is late," She called out to him, "We should be sleeping." Aemond hummed, acknowledging her comment. He cocked his head to the side, not quite looking at her as his eye remained fixated on the Throne, "We shall be standing up there tomorrow."

The princess swallowed, only to take another step forward as she responded, "You. You will be up there tomorrow. I will be perched next to your mother or Helaena. Either hearing prayers for Aegon's ailments or your ascension." A small, playful smirk painted his lips, "I'm sure I could order a seat to be placed near my feet. So that I may present to the court all my prizes: the Throne, the Crown, the perfect Wife."

Her lips tugged downward, disgust lining her stomach, "Will you dress me and braid my hair too? Paint my face to make my skill look porcelain?"

The Prince Regent finally turned to face her, "Do not use such a tone with me, wife. You have nothing to complain about as I have built you a perfect life." The air between them went stagnant as her eyes remained fixed on them. You face betrayed nothing of what you felt which shocked your husband. He had always been able to read you so plainly, it was something he even enjoyed in your relationship.

"A perfect life?" The princess repeated her words, "Will you put me in a glass display and title it 'A Perfect Life?'?

Aemond's jaw tightened and he took a great step toward her, "I have proven myself to be the greatest Targaryen since Maegor himself and yet you look at me like a villain. This will make people see. This will make people fear me and regret their spineless actions. Now they have no choice but to love and respect their new King."

"And yet I did all of that when you were just Aemond," She barked back at him, her own hurt and anger slipping through, "I respected you, I listened to you, I loved you... for just being a prince- no, just being a boy." "Wife, I-" He attempted to interject.

"I am not finished," The princess stopped him, "I have played the part of your wife, perfectly. I provided you with love, comfort, hospitality, my spirit, my body. I never asked for you to give more of yourself than you could because I knew what a fragile heart you keep locked away. But I am not some pet or doll to be displayed as another prize of your ambition. I am your wife, and you could at least let me enjoy that duty. I only ever wanted to show you love."

At her speech, Aemond had fallen silent. His hands rested behind hs back, silently fidgeting with his leather cuffs. All was still.

"It is late," Aemond finally spoke, "You should get some rest. I will join you in our chambers when I have wrapped up my duties for the evening."

"Very well," The princess swallowed back her pain, once more feeling powerless. She turned on her heels and exited.

I shouldn't have to say it You could've been the greatest

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Vil Schoenheit - Tsumsitter Vignette

"A Moment with Viltsum I"

[Pomefiore Dorm – Lounge]

―After Vil has returned from the Headmage's office to the dorm with the tsum in tow…

Students: Woooah…!

Pomefiore Student A: Did you just see that! Since I still hadn't removed my makeup for today, it gave me the cold shoulder.

Pomefiore Student B: Makes sense, coming from a tsum said to be similar to our Housewarden… It's just as consistent in making sure we keep beautiful skin.

Pomefiore Student A: Aah, how exquisite… It's a splitting image of our Housewarden inside and out.

Vil: What are you all even saying?

Vil: How could you even claim that this peanut is at all similar to me? …That kind of joke isn't even laughable.

Rook: Yet, it is a fact that there is this dignified aura that surrounds Monsieur Tsum as well.

Rook: See how it holds itself, with eyes that pierces through everything in search of beauty… If it's not any trouble, may I look at it more closely?

Vil: No need to ask me for permission for every single thing. Although if the tsum doesn't like it, it may smack you away.

Rook: Fufu, I'm fully prepared for that. It's the loveliest of flowers that have thorns, after all.

Vil: Honestly, see how you get carried away?

Vil: I'll be here reading, and keeping an eye on the tsum so it does not escape.

Vil: The rest of you should do as you please until curfew. But do try not to anger the tsum.

Students: WOOOOAH!!

Vil: I might have told them to do as they please, but…

[Viltsum walks and strikes a pose]

Students: WOOOOAH!!

Pomefiore Student A: Look at that beautiful pose…! It's like a real live model!

Pomefiore Student B: Next, please try on this hat!

Vil: ...What are they even doing?

Rook: Fufu, does it pique your curiosity, Vil?

Rook: At everyone's behest, we are throwing a fashion show for the Tsum.

Rook: We thought that by dressing up the beautiful tsum in beautiful clothing, it would make for one spectacular show.

Rook: Using spare leftover fabric, we all made scarves and hats for the tsum.

Vil: You've lined up so many accessory boxes in a row… Is that supposed to be a runway?

Vil: What a lousy game of pretend. Don't you think this is beyond childish?

Pomefiore Student A: Apologies… We were taken in by the tsum's beauty…

Vil: There's no need to apologize. More importantly, it is almost curfew.

Vil: If you were to stay up all night playing around and suffer dry skin as a result… That would render you unfit to be a Pomefiore student.

Pomefiore Student B: Y-Yes, sir!

Pomefiore Student A: Goodnight, Vil-ryōchō!

[Pomefiore students leave]

Vil: Now then, we should head back to our room as well. [Viltsum starts leaving] …And it's already heading there!?

Vil: Your bed is in the corner of my room. I won't forgive you if you dare try to use my bed.

"A Moment with Viltsum II"

[Pomefiore Dorm – Vil's Room]

Vil: …I can't say I expected you to use every single beauty device I have in the room.

Vil: At least you look satisfied with yourself. Now, we should be off, Tsum.

Vil: I showed you how to use every single of my beauty appliances.

Vil: The least you could do is accompany me around today, don't you think?

[Viltsum looks weary]

Vil: Oh, does that not please you? Too bad, and here I was thinking you would benefit from it.

Vil: I will be heading out on my afternoon routine now. This is all for the sake of improving my beauty.

Vil: Since you're a creature with a strong sense of beauty, I would have thought you'd like to learn more secrets to attain it…

[Viltsum hops happily]

Vil: See, that's why I said this would be beneficial to you.

Vil: Good, it's decided. Now, let's go.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Ballroom]

Vil: Next, we'll use a ball. A yoga ball would be too big for you, so…

Vil: Here, use a tennis ball as a substitute instead.

Vil: Now, like down on your back.

Vil: Clutch the ball in between your legs and raise it up until it is perpendicular to the ground… Perhaps this is too difficult for you.

[Viltsum works to raise the ball]

Vil: It's actually clutching the ball between its small legs and lifting it!?

Vil: Well done, Tsum. Stay in that position for a little while.

[Viltsum starts shaking…]

Vil: …And slowly return your legs to its original position.

Vil: Why do you look so satisfied? That was only the first set.

[Viltsum looks weary]

Vil: Oh my, are you planning on throwing in the towel already? Not that I mind…

[Viltsum perks up]

Vil: Heh, looks as though you're still willing to continue. There are many more positions to try.

Vil: I'll give you a thorough lesson in all poses… with and without the use of a ball.

[Pomefiore Dorm – Vil's Room]

Vil: The tsum has been rather quiet ever since we've returned to the room. Perhaps it wasn't that enthused by the yoga.

Vil: Although, it did look fairly refreshed once we were finished. I'll let it rest for the rest of the evening…

[knock, knock…]

Rook: Vil, Monsieur Tsum. May I come in?

Vil: Rook? I'll let you in now.

[door opens]

Rook: Ah, hello, Vil. Please forgive the abrupt visit.

Rook: To tell you the truth, I was requested to ask Monsieur Tsum for a favor.

Vil: From the tsum? It's resting right now.

Pomefiore Student A: EH!?

Pomefiore Student B: But… We were hoping we could take a photo of it!

Vil: Take a photo…?

[Viltsum happily hops]

Vil: It hopped up when it heard the word "model." …Looks like it's on board.

"A Moment with Viltsum III"

[Courtyard]

[snap, snap!]

Pomefiore Student A: Tsum-san, please look this way!

Pomefiore Student B: Aah, how beautiful…!

Pomefiore Student C: I'm so glad we built up the courage to ask to do this～!

[snap, snap!]

Vil: …Tell me, Rook. You had only brought two students with you originally, yes?

Vil: More and more students are appearing, and are now forming a line. This has essentially turned into a photoshoot.

Rook: Fufu, well, that would be because Monsieur Tsum is a stunning creature.

Rook: It's only natural for us Pomefiore students to be so enraptured.

Vil: I'm more skeptical of all of your tastes if you think that peanut is beautiful.

Vil: Also…

[Viltsum poses]

Pomefiore Student A: The tsum winked at me…!

Pomefiore Student B: Wow, such talent…

Pomefiore Student C: Ah, I can't waste time admiring it, I have to keep taking photos!

[snap, snap!]

Vil: Those poses are still amateur. It's definitely not at the level I'd approve of.

Rook: Oh, là là. You're so strict, Vil.

Rook: Even so, our Pomefiore brethren are doing a fine job. They are following the proper manners that fans should adhere to.

Vil: Photos should only be taken after asking for permission. There should be no candid or flash photography.

Vil: Also, so the model does not feel uncomfortable, they are keeping the proper distance away.

Rook: Oui! Now, I think it is finally time for me to jump into the fray of the photoshoot. I have a feeling I will be able to take a fantastic picture!

Vil: I should have known… Of course you had your camera with you as well.

Rook: Marvelous! I was able to take absolutely sublime photos.

Vil: Oh, really… How wonderful for you.

Vil: Now that the photoshoot has concluded… We should be heading back to the dormitory, Tsum.

Rook: I'll head back with you. I want to look through all the photos I captured.

[Main Street]

[Viltsum rushes off]

Rook: Monsieur Tsum seems to be in some kind of hurry. Is it late for some appointment?

Vil: Well, it was participating in a photoshoot outside for some time, so perhaps it just wants to do its beauty care routine as quick as possible.

Rook: Marvelous! Its self-care is spectacular.

Vil: Don't just vocalize your admiration. You could learn a thing or two from the tsum...

Heartslabyul Student: Oh, hey… Isn't that the tsum that's supposed to look like Vil-senpai!?

Octavinelle Student: You're right! We gotta snap a pic ASAP!

[snap!]

Scarabia Student: Look at those cute, stubby legs…! Tsum-san, shake my hand, please!

Vil: And here come the ill-mannered peanut gallery.

Vil: Not only do they take candid photos, but they'll forcefully grab your hand… They don't even notice that the tsum is not happy.

Heartslabyul Student: Maybe it's just taking a stroll around campus. If that's the case, I can show you around!

[Student grabs Viltsum]

Octavinelle Student: Hey, wait! I gotta grab a selfie with the tsum before you do that…!

[Student pulls Viltsum]

Scarabia Student: Guys... There's something wrong with it… Do you think it's angry…? [Viltsum attacks student] ACK!?

[Viltsum beats up students]

Rook: Oh my…

Vil: I thought I should step in and teach a lesson to these ill-mannered students, but…

Vil: It seems it can handle itself fairly well. I suppose that peanut isn't completely useless.

Heartslabyul Student: OW OW OW OW OW!! It ruined my perfectly styled hair!!

Students: Sorry for being so rude, please forgive us!

[Students run away]

Vil: Well, aren't they quick to run away.

Rook: Amazing, you held your own against three students and sent them packing… You are both beautiful and strong, Monsieur Tsum.

Vil: Well, let's try to put that behind us and head back to my room.

Vil: I have this spray lotion that works wonders on skin that have been exposed to the sun. I'll give you the honor of letting you use it.

Requestred by @farfalla049.

[queerly-autistic]

I've seen some concern about the fact that the BBC has double-billed the last four episodes of Our Flag Means Death and bumped it up later in the schedule - concerns that this means it's not doing well for the BBC - and so I'd just like to allay some of those fears, if possible? To start with, it's important to recognise that the BBC does this all the time. I was in EastEnders fandom for many years, and nonsense schedule changes were a regular annoyance. When I shared OFMD's schedule change with my little group of friends from that fandom, everyone rolled their eyes and went 'oh yeah, typical BBC shenanigans'. As an example: the BBC was really pushing EastEnders last year, they'd been hard-marketing towards the big iconic Christmas episode since February, and then, around comes Christmas, and the BBC inexplicably sticks it on at 10pm (when it's usually broadcast at 7.30pm).

So this isn't unusual. This is extremely common. There's often very little rhyme or reason to the BBC live broadcast scheduling. To try and accurately read between the lines of this is like trying to analyse the written output of a cat walking across a keyboard.

But another big thing to remember is that Our Flag Means Death is a streaming show. The BBC dropped all of the episodes in one go because they know that it's the streaming audience where the show is successful. It's the same with What We Do In The Shadows - we know that the show does well for them, because they keep renewing their contract to show it, but because it does well specifically with a streaming audience the live episode broadcasts are perpetually bumped to a weird time (sometimes one in the morning!!).

The BBC is under contract to do a live broadcast of these shows, but that's not where the audience is. And that's why the episodes get shuffled around or bumped to a late timeslot or double-billed together. Them not necessarily getting spectacular overnight live broadcast ratings is not a big barrier to potential pick-up - streaming numbers is the important metric. And, just yesterday, the BBC dropped a card for the show over the credits of House of Games, a very popular (and mainstream!) afternoon gameshow, asking people to go stream it on iPlayer. if you haven't seen it, I managed to screen-record and post it on Twitter here (subtitles included): https://x.com/QueerlyAutistic/status/1762913455051325888?s=20. This is a really, really good ad to get - a very mainstream slot that potentially brings attention to the show from new audience demographics. The fact that they put an ad-read for the show in this particular slot is more indicative to me of the fact that the show is doing well for the BBC than any predictable shenanigans around live broadcast times. They advertised the 'niche' queer pirate comedy to a very mainstream middle-of-the-day audience! That's not nothing! And the fact that they were specifically advertising it as being on iPlayer - not the live broadcast - indicates to me that that's where it's doing well: that's where they know their audience is, and they don't care about the live broadcast, because the streams are where it's at. The live broadcast is probably just a contractual obligation at this point.

Our Flag Means Death is still regularly listed under 'trending' on the iPlayer website, and the Parrot Analytics for the show in the UK are excellent. And that's what we want. That's what we need to convince streamers. Remember: the YouGov survey about the show specifically asked questions about it in the context of streaming services. Overnight figures are lovely to have, too (so keep tuning in!) but this is a show made to stream. It was all dropped on iPlayer first for a reason; they're specifically pushing it on iPlayer for a reason. And, at the end of the day, it's streamers we're currently trying to convince to pick up the show, not broadcast television networks.

So, don't read too much into it. We're still doing good, UK crew!

[melonteee]

I've seen many people complain that Oda in Post Time skip One Piece spends a lot of time worldbuilding and making up side characters on every island that distract from the main ones and the plot. While I can see where some people are coming from, as someone who reads comics from Marvel, I WISH the wordbuilding and side characters were that developed because most of the time, unless it's about space or magic or directly related to the plot, the world feels genuinely dead. Even the main setting of a story sometimes feels so dead, like for comparison

Around 2 years ago, they had an event where, at some point, an inhabited island got pretty much nuked. We spent 3 real life years on that island and the writers really couldn't make any readers care less about all the civilians (men, women, children and babies) dying as they wrote them as a single minded entity who didn't mind that fate if their government told them to do it so they used two of the "main characters" (the most selfish pricks imaginable who never even cared about the island and the people there as they are long-established villains + due to plot, were made part of the people who rule over the place and get the most privilege and best life there compared to everyone else), to pull the heartstrings of fans on how terrible it is for them to die this way and how tragic that these two had to die in this event... All because the plot hyperfocused on the island's government (not even interesting to read and full of what felt like highschool drama) instead of the people the government looks after and who would be the greatest casualty here. All of this didn't matter either because everyone on that island was brought back to life (that plot device was present even before the event so caring about anything was going to be hard from the get go) including the "main characters" that died.. Guess who got to come back to life first while many others were on a waiting list years down the line still ?

Now compare this to Oda and what he did with Lulusia. All things related to this island were mostly cover stories, many cuts back and forth in a "meanwhile in...", ... But once Chapter 1060 hits, we feel the tragedy and horror, we are at awe at how much destruction was unleashed on these people. That scene was made even more horrifying and sad when it was animated in Episode 1089...and then we learn the reason the island was obliterated had nothing to do with Sabo being there. Any island we knew who partook in a revolution could have been a target. We find out that even that was an excuse because the main goal was to test a weapon and nothing more. Oda is using a tool here called "less is more" for this island and it was sincerely enough for me to care A WHOLE LOT about Lulusia even if the main characters never set a single foot there and it wasn't part of the main plot. There wasn't even a main character who "died" there either to pull on our heart strings. We just saw these people triumphantly come out of a political crisis and enjoy their first hours of freedom after lord knows how long and then

They were all gone. Erased. And even if they didn't all see what was about to happen to them, they felt it. They died in fear

Oda is very very good at his world building, because he makes sure these islands are LIVED in, not just that they EXIST. It's all well and good to wipe out an island to show the political and immoral powers that be, but we don't feel the impact unless we SEE the people and culture existing on the island.

It's why now, with Vegapunk explaining the state of the world, we are getting reactions from EVERY corner of the globe. We are being reminded how big this world is, how lived in this world is, and how many people are suffering under the world gov. We CARE about this world, we care about the PEOPLE in this world, and Oda's spent years building his world up for THIS moment. It's really spectacular.

[vintagetvstars]

Betty White Vs. Eartha Kitt

Propaganda

Betty White - (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, Life With Elizabeth) - I mean - does she really need an introduction? It's Betty White, people! The First Lady Of Television! What *hasn't* she done? She had an incredible career (in fact, she earned the Guinness World Record for the longest TV career by a female entertainer *twice*!) with an infinite list of successes - she won seven Emmys, three SAG awards, and even a Grammy. I personally know her best for her spectacular portrayal of Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, but she's played so many great characters in her long career. A lesser known but marvelously charming role is that of the titular character in Life With Elizabeth, a 1950s sitcom which she also co-produced at the age of *28*! She was also a great advocate for a number of causes - animal welfare, gay rights (she used to accompany her friend Liberace to events to help him avoid being outed as gay), and racial equality: she famously hired Arthur Duncan, a Black tap dancer, on one of her shows, and when threatened with going off-air if he wasn't fired, she just declared "He stays, live with it." She's the whole package - amazing actress (and comedienne and producer!), kind and hilarious, and of course - beautiful! Just look at her - that smile! Those eyes! That charm!! Watch her in action if you can (they're too long to link here, but entire episodes of Life With Elizabeth are on youtube!), but honestly - her pictures alone are enough to make me swoon!

Eartha Kitt - (Batman) - No text propaganda

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Betty White:

Have you seen her?? Look me in the eyes and tell me that Betty White's smile doesn't have the power to turn anyone's heart to mush. She looks adorable one moment, and can come up with the most out of pocket lines the next (all while still looking innocent about it). People know her best as Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, of course, where she played the show's most naive character. But reportedly, Betty was actually the cleverest person on set. She didn't even have to learn her lines; reading the script once was enough for her, and she'd be able to remember any additional changes throughout the week without a problem. Which is pretty amazing if you ask me! Anyway, Betty is an icon. Her television career spanned seven (7!!!) decades, covering basically the entire tournament's time period (and then some!). She *almost* turned 100 and her outliving other celebrities was a Tumblr meme for ages. She had her own talkshow in the 1950s, for which she hired a female director, and had an African-American tap dancer (Arthur Duncan) as a regular cast member. When faced with criticism for the latter and the threat of being boycotted, Betty responded with "I'm sorry. Live with it" and gave Duncan *more* airtime. She was also the first woman to ever produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in which she played the lead, and looked absolutely stunning doing it. All in all: Betty was a badass, had a heart of gold, and she's absolutely stunning!

I think I might cry at how pretty she is honestly

that SMILE!!!

she's even pretty when she's not smiling... ahh...

some soft butch realness

[gffa]

My current progress on The High Republic books, comics, etc. I DESERVE CONGRATULATIONS AND WELL-WISHES TO CATCH UP BEFORE THE ACOLYTE AIRS. MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Light of the Jedi

The High Republic: A Test of Courage

The High Republic: Into the Dark

The High Republic: The Rising Storm

The High Republic: Race To Crashpoint Tower

The High Republic: Out Of The Shadows

The High Republic: Mission to Disaster

The High Republic: The Fallen Star

The High Republic: Midnight Horizon

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: Path of Deceit

The High Republic: Convergence

The High Republic: Quest for the Hidden City

The High Republic: Cataclysm

The High Republic: Quest for Planet X

The High Republic: Path of Vengeance

MAIN STORYLINE NOVELS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: The Eye of Darkness

The High Republic: Escape from Valo

The High Republic: Defy The Storm

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE I:

The High Republic (2021) - 15 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2021) - 13 issues

The High Republic: The Monster of Temple Peak - 4 issues

The High Republic: The Edge Of Balance - 2 manga volumes

The High Republic: Trail of Shadows - 5 issues

The High Republic: Eye of the Storm - 2 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: The Blade - 4 issues

The High Republic (2022) - 10 issues

The High Republic Adventures (2021) - 8 issues

The High Republic: Edge of Balance: Precedent - 1 manga volume

The High Republic Adventures: The Nameless Terror - 4 issues

MAIN STORYLINE COMICS - PHASE III:

The High Republic: Shadows of Starlight - 4 issues

The High Republic (2023) - 5 issues [ONGOING]

The High Republic Adventures (2023) - 4 issues [ONGOING]

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE I:

The High Republic: Tempest Runner

MAIN STORYLINE AUDIODRAMAS - PHASE II:

The High Republic: The Battle of Jedha

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE I:

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #6 - “The Gaze Electric”

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2021

The High Republic Adventures Annual 2021

The High Republic Adventures: Galactic Bake-Off Spectacular

Star Wars Adventures (2020) #14 - “A Very Nihil Interlude”

The High Republic Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2023

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE II:

The High Republic Adventures: Quest of the Jedi

ONESHOT COMIC ISSUES - PHASE III:

The High Republic Adventures: Crash Landing

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE I:

Star Wars: The High Republic: Starlight

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - PHASE II:

Star Wars Insider: The High Republic: Tales of Enlightenment

ANTHOLOGY NOVELS - ALL PHASES:

The High Republic: Tales of Light and Life

EVERYTHING ELSE:

Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures - 25 episodes

This is a bit misleading in that several of these I'm halfway through, I've been watching Young Jedi Adventures in the background while I do other things and it's super cute! It's very much a preschooler-aimed series, but the animation is gorgeous, the voice acting is adorable, and it's fun to have on in the background. (It does make me pine for this style of animation to be used for more familiar characters, what I wouldn't give for baby Mace Windu in this style or baby Obi-Wan or baby Plo or baby Shaak, THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE.) I'm also halfway through The Fallen Star, which isn't as far as I'd like considering I started it several days ago, but I don't have as much on-line time these days and I listen to it in the background while doing other things. It's fine so far, I'd say! I'm eager to get to Phase III, though. One thing that's really hitting me all over again, especially as I'm wrapping up reading Shadows of Starlight is that the Nihil are now trying to set up their own area of the galaxy, to set up a government in their claimed area, they've been strong-arming planets into being forced to join them, they've been actively killing Jedi--including one general who opens his coat to reveal a collection of lightsabers to show that he'd be a good fit to join the Nihil--and it's so many echoes of the prequels that it's fascinating. Because the way the Jedi react, the need to align with the Republic for strength, the need to fight back against an enemy that is specifically targeting them, the need to help free the worlds that are being occupied by this government that claims to have nobler intentions, but really just wants to crush worlds under its boot? It's really showing, consistently, the Jedi being put in the same positions as the prequels Jedi and showing why their choices weren't great, but they had to choose something, because the alternative was worse. Reading all of this has given me a more sympathetic reading of the prequels' set-up, served up to me on a silver platter. OKAY, WISH ME LUCK in getting through at least one more comic run today and tell me how your High Republic reading journey is going, too!

[kisaraslover]

DO U HAVE ANY BLUESHIPPING FIC REC?????PLEASENIMSTARVINGKSKSKKS

anon kskkasak ITS FINE ILL SAVE YOU OK? here goes:

Scenes from a Kaiba Marriage and Temptation by my blueshipping queen @kisara-kaiba as the opening. the peak of modern life blueshipping fluff, very lovesick, when im reading them its heart full, head empty. youre gonna be lucky to start them now cuz ill be rereading and drawing scenes from them this week👀. itll be like premium fanfic reading.

Enjambment -> this fic might be the single best written blueshipping fic by the virtue of MIRRORING their encounter in ancient Egypt beat by beat, including BOTH of their character arcs and the netflix show vibe of suspense and the sharp, cold and bleak setting is chefs kiss. changed my brain chemistry. still one of my favorite portrayals of Kisara.

Maiden with Eyes of Blue -> Sometimes time needs to slow down and a single scene should be a character study/ hashing out of things you needed acknowledged by canon, the situation is ESPECIALLY dire for Seto Kaiba as ive made my feelings on his writing known many times. This is it. Kisara isnt reincarnated in this one though, but her love for him can be felt in the air. Ngl you could just incorporate this into post canon and it would be fine. canon compliant+ canon enriching.

Shades of Water, Ice, and Sky -> I'm skimming through each fic to see what they were about and i just gotta say: why so heart-wrenching if so short?? theyre in love your honor.

Their Promise: Book I -> ok gonna be honest w you i havent finished this one and the main reason is that i cant go past the SPECTACULAR first chapter. ive started and failed to draw it in its entirety. i open it, i chew on the first chapter like a rabid dog, i close it more often than not. the second reason is it has a lot more angst and heartbreak than most blueship fics do and im weak to that sort of thing. still, if we follow their ancient egypt encounter beat by beat, which is a fantastic way of following and enriching the canon, their first meeting needs to be as kids with him saving her from a cage. chefs kiss.

who are you? -> JUST the right amount of Seto Kaiba immediate fixation obsession on Kisara (which means insanely obsessed)

You Will Crave Your Ancient Roots -> this is so good and so heartbreaking man. Seto and Atem are shot back into ancient Egypt and Seto is only able to slightly alter the events around Kisara. hes fated to fall for that woman every single time and *starts sobbing*

Ancient Rules -> all i gotta say is this Seto Kaiba gives me brainworms. hes chuck full of Passion and Cockiness and Insanity. blueshippers sometimes take out his insanity. he is very unsettling here i love it. Kisara is truly at his mercy..

never forget your first dream -> fem!Set and Kisara in ancient Egypt, this story twists more than just Seto's gender. im a yuri seto truther so its great to have written proof of it. jokes aside, very well characterized Set and Kisara, rich writing.

One in Forty -> pretty short but this one fundamentally changed how i viewed Kisara's canon influence over BEWD cards and her constant and unbendable favor around Seto. canon compliant + canon enriching.

ok so these are the cream of the crop for ME personally, might have forgotten some in my other folders, i might have missed reading some, its probably not all encompassing. but frankly ive liked and saved fics for a single resounding line, single funny joke, one interesting implication about the story or the characters the author wrote up so in my heart theyre all worth checking out, always. fanfic writers are carrying this ship on their backs and theyre all 9 ft tall and im just walking around them, clearing the path, giving them a sip of water and snacks etc. so THANK YOU BLUESHIPPING AUTHORS I LOVE YOUUUUUU

[shitpostingkats]

Can you please please elaborate about the Lore chanel in the yugioh protag's discord?

I am imagining some truly spectacular things that Jaden has extremely casually mentioned and NEVER EXPLAINED

Jaden Yuki absolute KING of casually saying the most wild thing you've ever heard in your entire life ad then moving on like it's nothing. He drives all the younger protagonists crazy, while Yugi and Yusei have just accepted that he is Like This.

The kids pestered Yugi to add the Lore channel just so they have a place to collect all the weird messages he sends. (Occasionally others get immortalized in the Hall of Weird and most of the guys consider it a great honor. Yuma is the proud car carrier of Second Most Bonkers Guy In This GC by messages in the lore channel)

Some notable examples include:

Until Yuya joins there is a ongoing disagreement between Yubel and Jaden on how many dimensions there are. Jaden says its twelve because Eisenstien and Bastion say so and Yubel says its nine because they were in space when the whole split happened. When Yuya joins and tentatively divulges that he saved four dimensions, Jaden ruined a very emotional moment by yelling “I TOLD YOU THERE WERE TWELVE!! :D” Cue everyone shouting "TWELVE???" So now they keep a running list of possible dimensions and Jaden refuses to confirm or deny any of them

Jaden: Was standing next to Chazz at the bus stop n he opened his umbrella n honestly nearly had a heart attack I thought the vampires were back for a second Everyone: Hey Jaden :) what :) do you mean :) "back"??

Shark thinks its really funny to write notes to Yuma in the language of his first life as Nash. One time Yuma posted a picture to show everyone what he has to put up with and Jaden was like “It just says ‘have a nice day, idiot’.” (Nash’s empire was composed of many cultures and languages, Jaden can only barely read it, but his kingdom in his prior life was a few hundred years down the line folded into Nash’s empire and the writing system adopted basically unchanged.)

But it drives everyone insane because one time Yugi was talking about Atem and Jaden went "Psh. I could have been egyptian royalty if I wanted to."

Everyone: ????????!?!? Jaden: You guys know I'm a king, right? Everyone: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!????!

Yuma has his money on closeted immortal, while Yuya's banking on time traveler.

Sometimes the dark world will lose an imprisoned monster and he’ll slide into everyones dms like - Hey - If you see a two story tall sarcophagus man - Chains on the wrists and ankles - Responds to “Exodia the forbidden one” - Lmk

This:

[amazing-spider-man-book-club]

Amazing Fantasy #15 (1962)

Published: August 1962

Containing: "Spider-Man!", "There are Martians Among Us!", "Man in The Mummy Case!", "The Bell-Ringer!"

Introducing: Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Ben Parker, May Parker, Flash Thompson, Liz Allen (unnamed), Mr. Warren (unnamed), Crusher Hogan, Sally Avril (unnamed), Seymour O'Reilly (unnamed), Maxie Shiffman (unnamed), The Burgler, Officer Baxter Bigelow (unnamed)

Synopsis: Peter Parker, social outcast, becomes vindictive and egotistical following being bitten by a radioactive spider and gaining spider-like abilities. After a brief stint in show business, his Uncle Ben is murdered by a burgler that Peter did nothing to stop earlier.

Read alongside us here:

@frankendykes-monster : One thing I don't want to do with this blog is discuss the in's and out's of how we got here because I feel like that'd be boring to most people beyond some anecdotals, but as we continue farther along the "behind the scenes" of The Amazing Spider-Man will become harder to ignore. That said:

Amazing Fantasy #15 is the only comic named "Amazing Fantasy". The series started out as Amazing Adventures, and was a typical Marvel horror/science fiction series being headlined by a Jack Kirby story followed by multiple stories by any number of freelancers (Dick Ayers, Don Heck, Larry Lieber, Joe Sinnott, etc.). With #7 the series is renamed as Amazing Adult Fantasy and becomes a 100% Steve Ditko showcase, but Spider-Man marks an intended shift towards replacing the line with superheroes; August 1962 is also the month where Ant-Man becomes the main feature in Tales to Astonish and Thor is introduced in Journey into Mystery. Truly, the "Marvel Age" of comics was upon us.

As a two-part story that only takes up 12 pages, "Spider-Man!" gets an incredible amount of work done. It's arguably the most superfluous issue of the entire Ditko/Lee run to return to if only because unlike so many other superheroes, Spider-Man's origin is a very "don't fix what isn't broken". Fans of Spider-Man (2002) or Spectacular Spider-Man especially will notice that's there not much here that they aren't already aware of, though most of the characters introduced here play no important role for the duration of the run, and will only be retroactively made more important by future creative talent down the line.

One thing that will become apparent throughout the run, however, is that this "source text" incarnation of Peter is a vindictive jackass starting out. In this issue we see proclamations that the rest of the world can walk off a cliff, and his disinterest in stopping the burgler is nothing more than an expression of that attitude. Being nice costs nothing, but being rude and egotistical doesn't either (or does it...considering your family member might be murdered later on...)

Stan Lee's narration seems prophetic in retrospect given that his aggrandizing prose makes it out that Spider-Man is nothing more than completely destined to become one of the biggest characters in pop culture. The juxtaposition of it with the slouching demurred pose of Peter on the title page and the context which it finds itself at the story's end just highlights that something big is on the way.

Amazing Fantasy #15, despite the text note that Lee provides at the end of the issue, would be the final one published as it was cancelled to make room in Marvel's distribution line up for a revival of Two-Gun Kid three months later. Several Spider-Man stories that were already done would end up on the shelf until The Amazing Spider-Man #1 is published. It heightens the tragedy of this story in a way that makes it compliment the twist-ending pulp horror that Ditko's output entirely consisted of. In this issue alone, Peter's fame going to his head and it biting him in the ass isn't out of place compared to anything that would have happened in Tales From The Crypt a decade earlier.

I have to wonder how much of this issue is a rush job because the early Spider-Man stories we will be discussing over the next several weeks are not the highlight of Ditko's career to out it nicely. There's not a lot of room for large panels that have a nice balance of negative space like what one would expect from Ditko in the early 1960's. Spider-Man's original costume was meant to be black (blue serving as a highlight) and the spider symbol on his back being blue. Didn't stick. For contrast take a look at the title page for two of the other stories in this issue.

@duel1971 : A good amount of ground ground gets covered in this relatively short origin story. We see Peter as a wallflower, a masked wrestler, an inventor, and most importantly as a loving son. These are all facets of the gem that is Peter Parker. He comes across as a relatable everyman because the details of his civilian life are filled in with care. Our first look at peter at home establishes there is a core of love in his home life, that he feels safe there away from the world that doesn’t fully understand him. Peter doesn’t quite transform into a superhero in Amazing Fantasy #15, but we learn the things that drive him: love for his family, and anger that it has been broken.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

Lemon’s July Fic Recs

People seemed to enjoy this when I did it last month, so I’ll try to make it a regular thing 🥰

Special shout-out to @lightningboltreader who I know beta’d at least two of these 💕

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal by @carlos-in-glasses

E | 15k

Stunningly beautiful story set early S3, a look at touch and the many different ways TK finds solace in Carlos’s hands, and how deeply and intimately these two idiots love each other.

Take my hand, take my whole life, too by @heartstringsduet

M | 15k

A day in the life of elderly!Tarlos with flashbacks of different moments throughout their life, with a through line of hands and how they use touch to ground each other, hold each other steady, provide for each other. I sobbed through the whole thing.

(For You) I Would Cross The Line (WIP) by @iboatedhere

M | 32k (2/5)

TK is the first son, Carlos is his secret service agent. This is devastating and gorgeous, beautiful subtle tension, TK at his most vulnerable and most generous. Very beautiful world building happening here.

Do It All Over Again by @ladytessa74

G | 10k

TK repeatedly tries and fails in more and more spectacular fashion to have a do-over, and learns in the end that what’s meant to be will be. Tessa’s TK is the sweetest and cutest and most earnest, and her Carlos loves him so purely and deeply and would literally go along with any and all of his schemes. And the timeline is very unique and cute.

the square root of sixty nine by @liminalmemories21

E | 11.5k

5+1 times Carlos learns something new with TK, but make it sexy. TK helps Carlos get to know himself in a deep way. And TK is vulnerable in such a raw way.

you make me live now, honey by @ithilien-writes

T | 6k

Carlos reconnects with Iris during the breakup, very interesting twist on canon and imo the way the show should have introduced Iris

snapshots by @sanjuwrites

Not Rated | 13k

Amnesia fic, newlywed TK wakes up forgetting he’s married to Carlos. Very sweet!

Love and Lou by @sugdenlovesdingle

G | 5k

Vet!Carlos, lizard loving paramedic TK super cute!

Pour me a cup (or two or three) by @bonheur-cafe

G | 7k

Future fic, Carlos has a hectic morning and his coffee keeps getting foiled. TK is very cute while eating a jelly donut.

we're a batch made in heaven by @alrightbuckaroo

G | 574

Carlos bakes cookies when he misses TK 😭

your love is all you owe me by @rosedavid

T | 6k

4+1 times Carlos dances on his wedding day, too cute

“he’ll remember the steady rhythm of TK's heart beating through his chest like it’s his own” 🥺

Day Zero by @chicgeekgirl89

T | 2.5k

The immediate aftermath of TK waking up from Sadie’s drugging. Very powerful. Gut wrenching.

“He lies there wallowing, his mind turning over and over, fighting with the rage and grief and failure that threaten to eat him alive and take his relationship along with it.”

Your Wild Heart by @iboatedhere

E | 40k

Firefighter!Tk-Park Ranger!Carlos, tiny town in Texas, some very, umm, interesting gnomes 👀 Very beautiful story of healing and, god, finally someone makes fun of TK for listening to Macklemore!

All’s Fair: Back It Up Baby (chapter 10) by @goodways

E (this chapter is pretty G) | 20k (ch probably 3k-ish?)

TK & Carlos fight over who gets to be the big spoon. Very cute!

As always, this is not in any way a comprehensive list of all the good stuff that came out in July. There are a few on my to-read list. Also the caveat that the Gabriel grief stuff is tough for me, so I’ve been avoiding and/or very slowly making my way through those ones.

[feministsouthpark]

South Park Filler Guide - Season 11

Link for Seasons  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9 10

You know the drill by now, I’ll judge whether an episode has all the qualities of a canon one, or is it just shameless filler. S11E1 With Apologies to Jesse Jackson is LORE

N-word for white people gets banned instantly. Again, a major character in this one will return as a henchman later, but that's a minor role with one line. S11E2 Cartman Sucks is FILLER

Butters goes to camp. Eric gets himself in a tricky situation that will be forgotten by next time. S11E3 Lice Capades is FILLER

The boys have lice. Clyde's lice moves on. S11E4 The Snuke is FILLER

Bahir moves in, he moves out, a bomb doesn't even do anything in the end. S11E5 Fantastic Easter Special is CANON

Because Jesus is shown to resurrect himself time and time again, which explains his future appearances, otherwise his S6 death and later returns would be pretty much unexplained. S11E6 D-Yikes! is CANON

Janet has an interesting change when she realizes her attraction to women, a part of her character journey of self-discovery. S11E7 Night of The Living Homeless is FILLER

Eric breaks record of jumping over homeless people. While I consider this as filler content in South Park, remind me if I ever do a Happy Days filler guide to include this one as canon! S11E8 Le Petit Tourette is LORE

As with South Park is Gay from season 7, this one helps to establish Craig Tucker's interest in boys, and this one even foreshadows what's his type is like! S11E9 More Crap is CANON

In my mind, when I started writing about this season it started like: Can you imagine the world where I would say this one's canon? And then I would make a joke and advise everyone to skip it. However reading through the transcript of the banned episode 200 of Emmy Award winning series South Park just to make sure, I found Bono making a very specific reference to this one episode, unlike Sally Struthers for instance, who says very basic things about South Park that made her episode only important enough to count as LORE, as did many other celebrities. Thanks Bono, you have a new record now, interfering with my calculations and gaining the longest paragraph in my guide. S11E10 & S11E11 & S11E12 Imaginationland is FILLER

I know, I know, everyone wanted these to be canon, including myself at one point. And don't worry, my step-sister is going to beat me up over this one so it's already taken care of. My bottom line is that these episodes (also once retconned into a second movie) are somewhat a separate entity from the rest of the series, knowing the characters is needed to it, but the world-building is vastly different from the rest of the show, so this is where it ends up. Imagination is real. Filler is real too. That's the main takeaway. S11E13 Guitar Queer-O is FILLER

After what just happened I can't even take this one seriously. It's like robbing a bank and then jaywalking. S11E14 The List is CANON

Stan and Wendy make up. That's a spectacular episode anyway, but for our intents and purposes for inspecting a continuous story, unlike imagination territory, or a random terrorist attacks, relationship drama is exactly the kind of stuff that gets a pass.

SPOILER-FREE RUNDOWN

Again, CANON means you should watch it, FILLER means you can skip it, LORE is somewhere in-between, any episode with the LORE label will have an explanation that helps you decide if you should include it or not. S11E1 With Apologies to Jesse Jackson is LORE* S11E2 Cartman Sucks is FILLER S11E3 Lice Capades is FILLER S11E4 The Snuke is FILLER S11E5 Fantastic Easter Special is CANON S11E6 D-Yikes! is CANON S11E7 Night of The Living Homeless is FILLER S11E8 Le Petit Tourette is LORE** S11E9 More Crap is CANON S11E10 & S11E11 & S11E12 Imaginationland is FILLER S11E13 Guitar Queer-O is FILLER S11E14 The List is CANON *Two minor members of a later organization gain their motives here **If you want to learn about Craig's type in dating

CANON counter:

S1: 9 out of 13  S2: 3 out of 18  S3: 6 out of 18  S4: 10 out of 17  S5: 8 out of 14  S6: 11 out of 17 S7: 6 out of 15 S8: 4 out of 14 S9: 8 out of 14 S10: 4 out of 14 S11: 4 out of 14

Overall: 73 out of 168

[phading]

Hi, it's me!

Okay, so there’s probably a lot you don’t know about me. So just in case you’re in the least bit interested:

I try very, very hard never to read incomplete fics. Purely selfish, and the result of reading far too many heart-grabbing stories that never got finished. If you need kudos or encouragement or anything else to continue, I’m here and over the moon excited to read anything you’d like to throw at me. Just let me know what you want in return - comments, critique, suggestions, hugs, encouragement, emojis, whatever ...

I posted one fic a chapter at a time, and I doubt I’ll ever do it again.

Characterization is everything.

If you’ve noticed an absence of Brains, Grandma, Lady P, Havoc, etc… in my fics it’s because I don’t give a twit. Perhaps one day I will evolve beyond this simplistic state.

I suck at prompts, challenges and deadlines. My muse is never in the right headspace at the right time.

I have a ridiculous need to keep it believable when really, the stuff that goes on in the show – no matter how much I adore it – is often somewhat miraculous.

It’s the future, people, I’m allowed to invent things.

In real life, I write kids’ books.

To the best of my knowledge, I’m the oldest member of the Thunderfam. Challenge me if you think you can claim the title.

The first thing of importance I ever wrote was a full length Star Trek Next Gen novel which I submitted to a few select New York publishers (oh, the innocence of youth) . Surprise, surprise, many of them actually read it and sent back comments written on famous restaurant napkins.

So, in light of all of the above, I’m once again doing my own thing. Inspired by the recent “10 opening lines from 10 recent fics” post I’m changing it up to “10 opening lines from 10 WIPs”.  I mean, seriously, I’m a newbie here and have far more WIPs than I do finished fics. So here’s what’s – pray to the anti-depression, anti-chronic pain gods  – coming up …

A WHOLE LOT OF SUPERFICIAL The uniform discarded in a heap on the floor outside the showers was expected – the purple neoprene wasn’t. (Virgil, Scott, shaping up to be humour)

THE LAST ZOO ON EARTH “Say again, John. I thought you said we have a situation at a zoo.” (All brothers, major rescue, major whump, pissed off Gordon)

THERE ARE NO CANNIBALS ANYMORE “Sir! I need you to calm down!” (Hurt Virgil, this one could go graphic in a hurry)

IT DOESN’T HURT Virgil glanced up from the piano keys, searching for inspiration but instead witnessing his fish brother's spectacular dive off the board – a dive that would leave his re-built back in shambles. (Fishtank, chronic pain)

TIGHT ROPE “I’m sorry, John, but if she’s dumb enough to try and pull off this ridiculous stunt, I see no reason why we should save her from her own stupidity.” (rescue gone sideways)

STARSTUCK Alan Tracy had been looking forward to this moment for a very long time. (Hurt Virgil, guilty Alan, Thunderbird 3 whump)

STELLAR “Hey, John, what’s this?” “It’s personal, that’s what it is!” (Guilty John, comatose Gordon, poetry, John has a secret)

CASPIAN John Tracy blinked open his eyes, breath catching when he discovered the most beautiful thing in his universe mere centimetres from his face. (John, OC-John’s lover, angst, Marks and Wings, John is not only a telepathic Ave but he’s bi!)

PSYCHOTIC MEDIUMS The probe entered Earth’s solar system broadcasting a symphony of alien sound that instantaneously drove the half-a-million or so humans who were listening insane. (Virgil centric, angst, sci-fi)

THE JOHN-CODE “Hey, Eos, you wanna help me test this new game?” (Alan, John, Eos, virtual games gone wrong.)

[marvanne111]

moments I love in "Tempting Fête"

"I can only read what I've got written down, Mr. Funt." "Councilor Funt! -Funn, Councilor Funn."

the fact that it's been 11 years of this Funn/ Funt debate (alternatively, that both the reverend and the mayor have addressed him properly the last three episodes and seemed to have no problem with it)

"Yes, well, I'll see what I'm doing that day" -leading the funeral, one would hope?

underrated bit of the series in general: cell service only being available in the reverend's bathroom

"I think he's quite dishy" (this scratches such an itch in my brain; I quote it once a week)

the mayor and reverend (who will be dating by the end of the episode) agreeing emphatically with the above statement

the reverend wearing eye shadow! (incredible, show stopping, spectacular, never been seen before)

"It was one mouse! and, and I don't know anything about it"

"All opposed?" "... I mean, I'd say opposed is a strong word-" "Done! Carried unanimously!"; "All opposed? "I, uh-" "Overruled! Motion carried!"

"We already have an identity: it's miserable and it works." (i want this on a t-shirt)

"There hasn't been a fête for eleven years." "Astonishing. Who's in charge of local events?" "Rudyard." "Ah."

"Look, it's easy to throw money around and get excited about rustic dancing, but we've got-" "I'LL SAY IT IS!"

"His world had once again become an increasingly scary place. There was only one thing left to do..." "Georgie?" "Yeah?" "We're emigrating."; "It was time for swift and decisive action, and there was only one place to head for: Reverend Wavering's bathroom"; at the funeral I was able to witness Rudyard, bereft of Reverend and with few attendees, deliver a stirring and entirely improvised speech about the circuities of fate, the struggles of discord, and an intractable acceptance of the way the cookie crumbles, a sermon that moved the late Basil Corbett’s niece to say, quite simply:" "We want our money back" (some really fantastic narration moments in this one that make me giggle every time)

Rudyard including Madeleine in the emigration plans is said so sweetly and it honestly makes me a little soft

"One word: Chapman." "I should return his calls-" "Chapman?" "- probably won't, though"

"Rudyard, other people do those things for you!" "Conscription?" "Volunteering!"

"I, I, I do like spreadsheets!"

(No Madeleine, I hate raffles!") (these posts are always so Rudyard-centric lol and it's helped me come to the conclusion that he really is the funniest)

"Do you know how many gallons of fluid I'll have to drain from a man that size? Possibly thousands!" "What a ridiculous lie!" (this is another one that I quote often lol)

"I wish I were Mrs. Carnegie!" "You will be, Mrs, Turner. You will be." (WHAT IS THIS RESPONSE?!)

"Fancy a funeral?" "That a threat?"; "Don't forget your funeral." "Was that a threat?"

"Socializing? That'd take up ten minutes and then what would they do? No. Perpetual scheduled activity, that's the way."

"Put some clothes on!" "IT'S MY HOUSE!"

"Antigone?" "What?!" "Helicopters!" "Go back to your side of the table."

"Now get over there and sabotage something!" "*sigh* Fine." "Do you really think that's going to help?" "Oh maybe not, but it'll cheer me up."

"Called up the family, made up a story about... well, re-organizing a fête, that sort of thing." "How did they react?" "Well, they weren't very happy..." "But?" "No, that's it, they weren't very happy."

"You know, I can actually see your future." "Oh yes?" "Mmm hmm. And it involves this crystal ball getting shoved STRAIGHT up your-"

"Alright sir! Mission accomplissshhhhed." "Hello, Georgie." "Hello..." "Get out, Georgie." "Goodbye..."

The Mayor trying to rustic dance for a couple of hours before giving up

Lady Templar's glass eye. (That's it. That's the post.)

"He'd be spinning in the grave you haven't put him in yet!" (best line of the episode honestly)

"What a dreadful little man!" "Yes... mind you, he looks good in a suit"

"Even in a crowd, they all look lonely" (🤌🤌🤌)

"Can't win 'em all" 'Winning anything at all would be a nice change." (also want this on a t-shirt)

"You like to be the hero, don't ya?" (Georgie's the GOAT)

"Rudyard. Do you know what this chap did?" "Yes, he told me" (my man is already so tired of Eric lol)

[vintagetvstars]

Betty White Vs. Gracie Allen

Propaganda

Betty White - (The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, Life With Elizabeth) - I mean - does she really need an introduction? It's Betty White, people! The First Lady Of Television! What *hasn't* she done? She had an incredible career (in fact, she earned the Guinness World Record for the longest TV career by a female entertainer *twice*!) with an infinite list of successes - she won seven Emmys, three SAG awards, and even a Grammy. I personally know her best for her spectacular portrayal of Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, but she's played so many great characters in her long career. A lesser known but marvelously charming role is that of the titular character in Life With Elizabeth, a 1950s sitcom which she also co-produced at the age of *28*! She was also a great advocate for a number of causes - animal welfare, gay rights (she used to accompany her friend Liberace to events to help him avoid being outed as gay), and racial equality: she famously hired Arthur Duncan, a Black tap dancer, on one of her shows, and when threatened with going off-air if he wasn't fired, she just declared "He stays, live with it." She's the whole package - amazing actress (and comedienne and producer!), kind and hilarious, and of course - beautiful! Just look at her - that smile! Those eyes! That charm!! Watch her in action if you can (they're too long to link here, but entire episodes of Life With Elizabeth are on youtube!), but honestly - her pictures alone are enough to make me swoon!

Gracie Allen - (The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show) - she's SO funny

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Betty White:

Have you seen her?? Look me in the eyes and tell me that Betty White's smile doesn't have the power to turn anyone's heart to mush. She looks adorable one moment, and can come up with the most out of pocket lines the next (all while still looking innocent about it). People know her best as Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls, of course, where she played the show's most naive character. But reportedly, Betty was actually the cleverest person on set. She didn't even have to learn her lines; reading the script once was enough for her, and she'd be able to remember any additional changes throughout the week without a problem. Which is pretty amazing if you ask me! Anyway, Betty is an icon. Her television career spanned seven (7!!!) decades, covering basically the entire tournament's time period (and then some!). She *almost* turned 100 and her outliving other celebrities was a Tumblr meme for ages. She had her own talkshow in the 1950s, for which she hired a female director, and had an African-American tap dancer (Arthur Duncan) as a regular cast member. When faced with criticism for the latter and the threat of being boycotted, Betty responded with "I'm sorry. Live with it" and gave Duncan *more* airtime. She was also the first woman to ever produce a sitcom (Life with Elizabeth) in which she played the lead, and looked absolutely stunning doing it. All in all: Betty was a badass, had a heart of gold, and she's absolutely stunning!

I think I might cry at how pretty she is honestly

that SMILE!!!

some soft butch realness

she's even pretty when she's not smiling... ahh...

she is marvelously bitchy as Sue Ann Nivens. please for the love of god watch these videos

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #1: Coffee Experts Agree

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #3: Massive Mudslides Wreak Havoc

Betty White / Sue Ann Moment #5: Have a Sexy Birthday

Gracie Allen:

Gracie Allen--Best Lines Compilation 1