#There are people in this world who deserve death and torture. Obviously not everyone but there’s a whole goddamn lot of them

[randomtheidiot]

I think we as a society need to relearn the objective fact that some people do not deserve sympathy or a second chance to be good.

[yuridovewing]

these people will say frecklewish did nothing wrong and you just hate trauma victims if you criticize her and then two seconds later, not even flinch as they say that mapleshade is a stupid bitch who deserved every bit of suffering because “she was too irrational and selfish to cross a bridge because she’s just a dumbass entitled woman who broke the sacred rules”

always makes me uncomfortable when wc fans genuinely seem to think mapleshade is an entitled cunt for being in a halfclan relationship and wanting her children to grow up in thunderclan without issue

[ludinusdaleth]

i need to preface this meta with a million versions of "i do not think ludinus is or ever will be a good person who deserves forgiveness or will have a happy ending", and it will take me a second to get to my perhaps bad point, but here we go:

as many (and myself) have noted, ludinus is blinded by his trauma. he cannot in any way shape or form see around it, and even though he is very wise, intelligent, and able to mediate almost any conflict of interest, he becomes childishly closed in when anyone challenges his idea, says that his crusade of warfare against the gods has hurt thousands of mortals. he is an active danger in his position of power by refusing to show care for anyone but himself, while convinced hes doing it for exandria.

i think this stems out of the fact that no one has ever been able to reach him in a way he craves. he can get validation of trauma from the vanguard, but he made them thralls to his ideas; do they really mean it or did he manipulate them into it? he obviously cant be validated in his grief by vasselheim and their stranglehold on calamity history, who think any heretic outside of their worship of warlords deserved their fate. and he cant find comfort in fellow calamity survivors, either due to not knowing they were alive (presumably devexian, alyxian), or being angered and in disbelief they chose to pursue religion despite their torture (leylas). because no one starts with the goalpost of saying his people didnt deserve their fate and that his anger is valid, he has been losing his mind with the belief he needs to forcibly show everyone what he experienced and for the world to see him as correct, after an eon of being the only one in his mind with a semblance of a correct pov.

which brings me to my point, which people will react badly to initially, but god, i need to say it aloud: the most important line he has ever said, which has rung in my head like a bell since last episode, is:

"Speak your mind, and I will speak mine. But all I ask is a moment. To show you."

ludinus has refused to entertain anyone else's pov as long as we have known him. fearne mouthing off at him one too many times about the vanguard caused his calm demeanor to snap in favor of him snarling at her about what he had seen in the calamity. he made his speech at the key as everyone there was actively trying to kill him. he never asked a soul for their input on what he was doing. not one ounce of him wants another perspective. and that isnt because hes scared of being called a tyrant. he tells exandria to "make me your villain", and there are so many moments of self hatred in his interactions with others i think he knows damn well what he is. no, hes terrified that someone will invalidate what he went through.

and he has asked the bells to witness the calamity's trauma firsthand, and to judge it and him freely. that is.... a massive change.

before you react, no. ludinus cant be fixed. no persuasion check in the world could convince him to forgive the gods and no one would ever allow him to walk with no consequences and start anew - as if his body wouldnt fall apart before that anyway. but the bells are at the only moment in history where ludinus is completely stuck between reality and his hero complex. almost nothing has gone his way and the world is rallying against him and evontra'vir itself said the bells were destined to defeat him and that is more preordained than the gods deaths and he knows he must teach them the truth but what if his methods were truly for nothing? he needs someone, anyone, to tell him something, to ground him. he will do his best to convince the bells of what he thinks. but he knows he has to leave a decision up to them. the next generation.

he didnt consider what they thought until now. isnt that a sobering thought for him.

and while they dont owe it to him, if the bells actually start the conversation by acknowledging what he went through? i think for the only time in exandrian history, the only moment that it will ever be feasible.... that you could move his second goalpost by starting at his first. those abused & grieving due to him will finally be able to say that to him, by sating the need hes had for 1000 years. and i think he will absolutely accept whatever else is thrown at him if it means someone listened. he will never give up on killing the pantheon. but i think this is the moment that will define whether he dies by the bells hands, or at the bells side against another system. this is the only time that his fate is in flux. and this is the only time this old dog can learn a new trick: that the role of parent can be guidance, and defense for the children you hurt. and acceptance that has been the parent, who must step up, now, or never again.

[hestzhyen]

Kagurabachi, Family, and Abuse

(This is kind of heavy, so please take care if you choose to read.)

I can't stress enough how much I love Kagurabachi for it's nuanced takes on complicated issues. Legacy, abuse, trauma, and the people involved in these cycles- very sensitive stuff that should be handled with great care. So this manga taking the time to examine issues with delicacy is surprising for an action series where the MC and his foes lose limbs on the regular. The Rakuzaichi arc won me over heart and soul because of how it tackled abusive families in particular.

I don't think it's controversial to say that leaving your abusers behind to focus on yourself is a key part of healing. But when family is involved, that component tends to get scrambled or lost entirely. Somehow if it's a relative or a sibling or a parent, the situation is changed. The victim should try harder to work things out. The onus is on them to find out what's wrong and fix it somehow; become less vulnerable. Even the most saintly, well-meaning ally can fall into the trap of telling the victim that blood-related abusers somehow deserve extra grace. They're abusers but they're also family, after all. Families love each other and good intentions should mean a lot.

We see it all the time in media too. A parent lashes out in anger. A sibling destroys precious, irreplaceable mementos. A cousin bullies and their parents do nothing. Blood relations hit and hurt and do awful things. But family is family at the end of the day, so they come together to heal with tears and apologies. Everyone is suffering in some way but it'll be okay if they stick together and work through the pain. Pan out, roll credits.

Obviously the Sazanami clan was far more skewed towards villainy than what we see in the real world. But the extra context given to Kyoura right before his death humanized all of them. They were abusers who were trapped in the cycle by misguided devotion to familial duty. And now that the cycle is broken, the family has their chance to heal. Braidbro was told to help the little kids and honor Tenri's sacrifice by letting them avoid his fate, so hopefully they manage it. No more slavish devotion to the auction above familial bonds. They can come together with tears and apologies and work towards a better future.

Yet Hakuri won't be there to see it.

In another series, he might have stayed to help after working with Chihiro proved he was strong enough to stand on his own. Hakuri could have rebuilt the family with a new purpose since he's the first since the progenitor to naturally inherit the subspace sorcery. He'd have the clout to do it, being the only one able to ensure business returns to normal. He even landed the killing blow on Soya to prove his resolve and signal a shift in the family's status quo. It would have been even more vindication for him to go from family embarrassment to patriarch, and who doesn't love it when the underdog comes out on top? He could be the one to fix things! But taking over the family would have truly been a bad end for him- proof that he was still trapped.

Because what could possibly make up for what Hakuri endured all that time? No amount of crying and saying sorry and promising to do better heals an abuse victim. Braidbro and Sazasis could make sure he's waited on hand and foot for the rest of his life but the damage was done long ago. The emotional pain lingers far longer than the broken bones and torn skin. Even if Soya was the only one going so far as to use peelers and pliers on him, Hakuri was abused by all of them. They all agreed -implicitly or tacitly- to ostracize him and give him the worst jobs. We saw him getting ganged up on to be kicked and gut-punched. Kyoura wasn't the only one to deliberately look away. Hakuri's torture was a family affair.

So to see him walk free of it all makes my heart soar. Because Hokazono fucking gets it. The victim shouldn't be on the hook to lead the reform effort once the situation is exposed. They shouldn't even have to participate in group therapy. In order to truly heal, they need to leave. And Hakuri choosing to do so was framed as the best possible thing he could have done in the moment, thank god. No "but they're still family" guilt tripping from the author here. Hell, Hokazono even went out of his way to make sure Shiba gave Hakuri a clear out. Fuck rehabilitating abusive families thanks to the victim's hard work. Fuck glorifying victims becoming irreproachable ubermensches to stop "inviting" abuse. And a flying fuck off to giving the family the benefit of the doubt by waiting around to witness the improvement process. Hakuri is finally free to move on without looking back, as is every victim's right.

Kagurabachi went above and beyond my expectations for having this be the culmination of his arc. I was a bit worried that a story so strongly focused on family bonds would fall into the same pitfalls as many before it. I've been burned by authors mishandling familial abuse with "family above all" messaging way too many times. But we saw that dumbass mindset blatantly and thoroughly deconstructed into fine particulate matter at the end of the Rakuzaichi arc. And it's really sold me on Hokazono's ideals and storytelling in a way that the Sojo arc didn't.

This manga is more than just flashy sword fights and considering how best to honor and interpret family legacies now. Sometimes, families and their legacies are in fact too toxic to be allowed to continue. And thank god the abused kid doesn't have to be the one to help the family fix their shit after it all comes crashing down. I hope future arcs continue to showcase this level of sensitivity and care for the different types of pain the characters are going through.

[cloudinterlude]

I get to dump all my Steve Rogers takes here!

I barely know where to start! I guess in general, Steve's character arc in the MCU is straight up depressing. Like, I didn't fully realize until I re-watched the movies how tragic his story is. I mean, the end of his first movie is him sacrificing himself for the world, freezing to death and waking up 70 years later where his entire world is completely gone and everyone he knows is dead and only TWO WEEKS LATER he has to suck it up and lead the Avengers into battle in Avengers 1. That's insane! We don't really get a lot of superhero character-centered movies with such hopeless endings like that. His last lines are "I think I missed a date" - That's dark when you really think about what it was like in that very moment to realize what's happening to him.

And going into his second movie, his current world is tilted once again. He's been unknowingly working for HYDRA who he lost his life fighting against, who he hates more than anything and everything quickly goes to shit when he realizes that his absolute best friend was alive but being tortured for the 70 years he was asleep. The only person in the entire world who could possibly relate to him a little bit - the only person who knew him before he was "worth" knowing doesn't even remember him because Steve dropped him. All that guilt and horror is way too hard to imagine. There's a lot more to say about TWS but God...yeah, horrific.

And Civil War...His world is tilted AGAIN. I cannot explain to you or anyone else how absolutely gobsmacked I was when I came out of that movie loving Steve Rogers just to find out everyone fucking hated him. I am very obviously team Cap, but only because I agree with his position, his actions and his morals. Imagine you just found out the government is HYDRA and now some rando (Ross) walks in with your teammate in tow to tell you to sign over all your civil rights to the government that will not only put you in danger but also set a dangerous standard for how enhanced people can be treated. I read what was in the Accords (and Steve was the only character on-screen looking over it). It's beyond reprehensible. I wouldn't sign it either especially since it was sprung up on the whole team with only 3 days to review it. Despite that, Steve was open to the idea of signing it as long as safeguards were put into place (he explicitly states this)...until he found out that they were somehow already enforcing the damn thing by keeping Wanda in internment. So, since the only two options are sign this or retire - he leaves. During all this he learns that Peggy dies, goes to her funeral, deals with Bucky being framed.

[I just found this deep in my drafts and realized I'm never finishing this jkdshfkjsdf, so here y'all go! <3 TLDR Steve's life is a big ball of pain and he deals with it better than any other character or person would and honestly, I don't blame him for any of the deicions he decided to take because he deserves the space, time, and freedom to do whatever tf he wants after his tragedy we call a life.]

[bestworstcase]

There’s one line in particular in the Lost Fable that I would love to get your perspective on.

“Why spend our lives trying to redeem these Humans when we can replace them with what they could never be?”

I am guessing this is one of those lines that (assuming your theory is correct) comes out under “Did not think that through” from Salem’s perspective.

oh yes that line

so

two hundred million years ago the god of light decided that salem deserved to be punished with eternal suffering because she grieved in a way he perceived as arrogant and selfish. after a few decades* trying fruitlessly to kill herself she came to the not unreasonable conclusion that the monstrous gods who did this to her could and indeed should be resisted, whereafter she devoted considerable time and effort to fomenting a rebellion against them with the specific intention of usurping them

(*long enough for a whole new city to be established and grow to considerable size)

they retaliated by literally vaporizing every single person on the planet including her, and blaming it on her for not ~learning her lesson~ once she reconstituted. then fucked off and broke the moon on their way out, and certain key details in ‘the two brothers’ lead me to believe that the resultant bombardment on remnant did indeed have the realistic consequence of causing an apocalyptic mass extinction event do you ever think about the way salem screams when she’s set on fire i think about this every day holy fuck anyway

obviously none of this improves her opinion of the gods whatsoever

two hundred million years and a whole industrial revolution later* ozma comes back and they fall in love again and he expresses worry about the state of the world and how divided people are, at which point salem is like, basically, “the gods wrecked everything and left, of course the world has gone to hell and people are having hard times, maybe they just need some help?” and then goes STRAIGHT to enthusing that they could surpass the old gods. “create the paradise the old gods could not.”

(*when ozma reincarnates his pants have zippers. ZIPPERS i don’t care that salem’s aesthetic tastes are a few millennia out of date, by the time ozma returned mass production and factories were a thing)

this woman has spent upwards of two hundred million years truly believing, heart and soul, that people have the capacity to transcend the failures and limitations of their creators. she watched the gods obliterate humanity with a snap of their fingers and then she watched humanity claw itself back from the grave to spread across the world again, to survive and thrive even without the god-given magical powers ancient humans relied upon. can u imagine the effect that would have on somebody? to lead a desperate rebellion against the gods, and fail, and witness the execution of her whole world, and then see that world restore itself in the absence of those gods, in defiance of their design?

and then—after years of marriage, after four children, after waging war to support her lover’s ambitions—he blindsided her with “this isn’t what he asked of me,” and dropped the truth in her lap

that the gods who sentenced her to eternal torture and slaughtered the entire planet like it meant nothing to them have now appointed her lover to “redeem” humankind (for her sins! for her rebellion! the blade hangs over humanity’s neck because the gods still have not relinquished their grudge against her! do you ever think about how salem has spent her whole life knowing that her existence is someone else’s justification for murdering people! this is another thing i think about constantly it haunts me she grew up knowing that simply speaking to her was a crime punishable by death,) or else the gods will return to slaughter everyone, except her, AGAIN.

is it any wonder she spits the word redemption with utter disgust. is it any surprise that she flatly refuses to even consider the notion of redeeming humans before the gods she despises and holds as monsters inferior to their own creations. is it any wonder that she reiterated her own staunch conviction that humans can and should and must replace the gods.

as a point of interest this is not the only ambiguous “them” in lost fable—when the god of darkness says “you may bask in the powers of creation, but you do not own them,” he exchanges a glance with salem and then gestures towards her and ozma, clarifying his meaning as “you do not own humans”—and meanwhile the camera cuts from salem to ozma for the second clause such that we have no way of knowing whether she made a similarly clarifying gesture.

and like

yes, it’s grammatically sloppy and vague for “them” to mean “the gods.” but a) she was upset and people often misspeak when they’re upset, and b) what’s more likely: that the woman who has spent hundreds of millions of years hating the gods and wanting to overthrow them spoke a little messily while reiterating that ambition in the heat of the moment after learning those gods were planning a second genocide, or the unexpected sight of ONE of her four daughters doing a magic trick instantly triggered some latent hitherto unknown desire to eradicate humanity herself and breed magical humans, in the woman whose relationship with her own magic is clearly fraught at best, given how hard she hammers the “power comes with crippling weaknesses, be careful, be careful” point with cinder and preferentially uses dust or grimm or simple persuasion, only turning to magic as a last resort?

frankly i don’t know why anyone believes with any seriousness that the character who opens the story waxing poetic about the ingenuity and resourcefulness and bravery and passion and strength of humankind, who openly mocks ozma for the self-sabotage in his abysmal failure to inspire hope bc he fears the truth too much to share it and deceives and manipulates even his innermost circle instead, and whose main point of contention with her most valuable lieutenant is her frustration with that lieutenant’s fixation on magical power and consequent recklessness and impatience, is obsessed with magical power as the defining characteristic of humanity and disdains modern humans as inferior imitations of the real thing. like it genuinely baffles me that so many people read lost fable this way. how. HOW, when her hatred of the gods and genuine, absolute belief in human potential is bleeding from every scene.

[web-novel-polls]

Just saw your MDZS thing and I half agree and half not. Like, on the one hand, I think it's absolutely justified (though I don't generally support any torture, but this is fiction and...it's Wen Chao...), but on the other hand, it's not supposed to be black and white??? MXTX clearly wanted her readers to understand the cruelty of this moment. Wei Wuxian was so traumatized he became kind of twisted, at least with the people who massacred the Jiangs. But even though we all know WWX is NOT the evil overlord that the cultivation world thinks him to be, he is not meant to be seen as someone who can do no wrong. He makes mistakes! Some of the fault does, in fact, lie with him! He's not 100% sunshine boy! And THAT'S OKAY. In fact, him being complex is WHY he's such a good character! And it boggles my mind how people will go to any lengths to make him perfectly innocent and pure in everything (rather than being traumatized and human) while also vilifying Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang and whoever else. Like, the latter two obviously did really bad things, worse than WWX, but they are very obvious mirrors to WWX. Xue Yang grew up an orphan on the streets. If WWX hadn't been rescued by Jiang Fengmian, he might've turned out the same way. Jin Guangyao was consistently denigrated for being the son of a prostitute. WWX also faced classism (to a lesser extent) for being the son of a servant (which Yu Ziyuan and Jin Zixun used against him). And don't even get me started on JC. People will go to any extent to vilify him when all of his actions make sense as someone who is also human and flawed and traumatized. Does this absolve any of them of their actions? No. But it does explain them. And just because someone does make mistakes doesn't mean they deserve to be hated and condemned (unless they're Wen Chao, who didn't make mistakes but who instead had an entire personality dedicated to being horrible. Pretty sure he's the only one who MXTX wanted to be a straight up bad guy, though if you can give me evidence to the contrary, feel free). Readers thinking in black and white and condemning other characters for xyz actions without trying to understand them while holding up WWX as a shining beacon who can do no wrong miss the entire point of the novel and do disrespect to WWX himself. Anyway... There's my rant over. Feel free to ignore this if you want, haha.

I’m not completely sure what you mean in regards to “half agreeing and half not” tbh. It seems to me like your disagreement lies with vilifying other characters when the main character is a morally complex character, which was my point? The morality policing was specifically what I was criticizing in my original post? Because, like, I agree with the broad strokes about Wei Wuxian and other characters’ moral complexities and grayness. 

My point was that, even if justified or understandable, the torture of Wen Chao was horrific and brutal, and I don’t completely understand how anyone who DID read the novel (which I understand not everyone has and/or has a different interpretation) is willing to harass actual, flesh-and-blood people over liking a character when the main character has literally tortured someone. That’s it.

I actually made my original post after a bunch of Jiang Cheng antis (who I do actually like talking to and seeing their opinions when they’re not harassing others) found an Aroace-spec Character Tournament poll with Jiang Cheng and were incredibly condescending about it. Which is honestly better than the death threats and threats of violence and doxxing, but it did hurt more than it probably should have to have people so unwilling to even TRY and see why I, and others, connected to Jiang Cheng, even after reading the same book that made them hate him. 

Seeing a character say, “Hey, what you did was not okay. I know why you did it, but it doesn’t change the damage you caused. I do not forgive you." to the main character was something that I needed to hear and see. It was something real, even if it might not be justifiable or “correct.” I like Jiang Cheng not because I think he’s always in the right or a perfect person, but because he’s not. And it’s fine if people don’t like him or think he’s the scum of the Earth or whatever, but I also think that prioritizing the debate about a character that doesn’t exist over actual people is cruel and unjustifiable. Ultimately, I do not care about any fictional character as much as I care about how willing people are to be so unbelievably inhumane for just disagreeing with them. 

And, somehow, this also ties into my opinions about the torture and killing of Wen Chao. I don’t think Wei Wuxian was unjustified, per se, for punishing Wen Chao, but I do think it was wrong in the sense that the action itself is wrong. It’s not a “WHOOO! WE KILLED THE BAD GUY” moment to me but a moment showing the brutality of war and a literary mark of descent to the “single plank bridge.” As someone else said (and so many more have probably said), it was fucked up, and acknowledging it was fucked up doesn’t mean Wei Wuxian is a “bad person” or a character you CAN’T like (paraphasing). It just means acknowledging that the act of torture itself is fucked up, no matter who does it or who it’s done to. Comparatively, sending death threats and threats of violence and doxxing is also fucked up, no matter who the other person is and what they’ve said. Putting a fictional story and character - no matter how much they may mean to you - over actual people for often no reason is fucked up. 

But yeah, I think “just because someone does make mistakes doesn’t mean they deserve to be hated and condemned” is one of my favorite aspects in a lot of web novels. I like that characters have “bad aspects” that while I may not condone IRL, including them make the characters… characters. That the “person” (character) is more important than whatever “bad aspect” they may have or mistake they might have made.

Anyway, I hope this clears up what I was trying to say lol. Not everything I wrote was meant specifically because I think you don’t agree or to argue with you, but to get my opinion across properly. I feel like we’re broadly saying the same thing, even if I’m not sure if I agree or disagree with the finer points like “Wei Wuxian might have become like Xue Yang.” Sorry if any of this comes off as aggressive, btw; it's not meant to be, but I lose my fight with tone everyday.

[brotherslayer]

I love the villainess jennette headcanon's! Could you do villainess Athy headcanon's?

sure. I already talked a bit about my ideal villainess athy AU here and here. background info: it's an AU where Aeternitas resurrects Athy because making the de Alger Obelias suffer once was not enough to him. He traps Athy in a timeloop where he kills her over and over again with the intention to make her despair and finally strike a deal with him that would eventually lead to the possession of her body and the destruction of the world. With each new rerun Athy grows more and more jaded and ends up being full of cynicism and bitterness.

I see villainess Jennette and Athy as two people that are standing on two different sides of the same spectrum. Jennette is a people pleaser wheras Athy has given up on gaining the love of others. If she cannot have other people's love she'd rather have their fear than nothing at all. Where villainess Jennette is overly emotional and irrational, villainess Athy is cold and methodical. Jennette relinquishes all her power to others. She is guilty by refusing to act. In contrast to her Athy is a total control freak who overworks herself to the point of exhaustion, because she doesn't trust others enough to put them in a position where they can wield any political power. Unlike her sister who, if evil, would hold onto the delusion that she is a good person and would send others to do the dirty work, Athy is fully aware she is a horrible person, embraces it even and kills always with her own two hands as a demonstration of her powers. Their love life is the opposite too: Jennette would pick 1 person to be obsessed with for life and smother them to death with her love but Athy would own a whole harem to cope with her loveless childhood and her loneliness not fully realizing that the connection she is hungering for cannot be sated with sex alone. Villainess Athy shares lots of traits with her father to her own dismay. It runs in the family.

like freezing her heart with dark magic to numb the pain, drinking problems, drowning herself in work and men.

just like her father, she is suffering from insomnia and feels often restless. Her night terrors can be attributed to her reliving the traumatic memories from her past lives but also prophetic dreams warning her about the destruction of Obelia and the ghosts of the people she has murdered that are haunting her. Athy likes taking naps in the treasury chamber that once belonged to Claude. A little trick that helps her falling asleep: she uses her mana to lift gold coins into the air and counts them one by one or creates jewels until she is too exhausted to focus and falls asleep.

officially Claude is declared dead but secretly he is kept alive in a dungeon where Athy tortures him. Sometimes she only talks to him because deep down she is still a child, desperately seeking for a validation of her trauma and some semblance of comfort, but on the rare occasion when he does choose to speak his answers never satisfy her and only leave her more hurt and bitter.

her politic is keeping up the status quo. while hero Athy thinks "i was abused so why would I inflict the same pain onto others?" and would enforce various reforms within Obelia, villainess Athy has the mindset of "I was abused so i will be doing the abusing now, actually!"

Athy & Jennette

originally I thought that villainess Athy would not like Jennette at all. Even if she knows that Jennette doesn’t wish her any harm, she would always stand at the center of Athy's most painful memories. I imagine in one of her previous lives Athy goes a little crazy when Jennette appears and runs amok and kills everyone, but shortly afterwards she would discover that Jennette was a nice girl who was just being used and didn't deserve this. So Athy commits suicide and swears to make Claude suffer properly in her next life (this AU here).

Obviously I'm biased and want Jennette to be somewhat happy, but I can't imagine Athy wanting to be close to someone who indirectly caused her suffering for 1000 lives intentionally or not. Unless...Jennette's magic to make others love her still works and she can soothe Athy's pain similar to how LP!Jennette could soothe LP! Claude's pain?

Athy & Ijekiel

It is an athykiel becomes claudiana 2.0 au but a hundred times more toxic. Athy is obsessed with making Ijekiel hers because she is chasing the shadow of her first love. As such her desire for him stems from idealization and nostalgia. She wants Ijekiel because he represents everything she has ever wanted and could never have. He is someone unattainable that every woman of the empire wants. Even Jennette, who had everything fall into her lap once she voiced a wish could never capture his heart. In other words if Athy could manage that then it would mean that she has won. That she was better than Jennette. It'd be the ultimate victory. It's partly about revenge too. An eye for an eye "If you steal my father from me, then I will take your brother/fiance and destroy your dream of a happy family. So we are even." In this AU Ijekiel becomes a political hostage. Whether he heroically offers himself up to appease her or he is taken by force is up in the air. The only thing I know is that their relationship is neither safe nor sane nor fully consensual.

Although he is her first and only love and although he is the only person she cares about, Athy never plans to formally marry Ijekiel. There are different reasons for this: on the one hand, she has lost all respect for god or the church, she does not believe in oaths of eternal love. She would prefer it if he didn't make any empty promises that he could break later. Second, she hates his father and doesn't want to give him what he wants, even though that's what they both want (namely, that Ijekiel becomes Emperor consort). She deprives him of his title, his inheritance, his lands until she is the only thing left and even then she seeks out the company of other men and ignores him often, and yes, she does this to humiliate him. She wants him to suffer like she did when he was engaged to Jennette

Athy doesn't believe Ijekiel really loves her (he does). Or that anyone could ever love her when even her own father found himself unable to do so. She is under the conviction that she is a completely unlovable person. So she often tests him (keeps hurting him) to get a confirmation of that belief. It is a vicious circle where she mistreats Ijekiel because she thinks his feelings are a lie and she is only stripping away his masks. And when he turns colder as a result of the mistreatment he's received she feels both vindicated that she was right all along and angry at the same time.

Jennette's family was the cause of all her suffering and Ijekiel is included in that. She wants revenge against Ijekiel specifically for what she sees as years of deception and him playing around with her feelings (remember how novel Roger told Ijekiel to try to get them both? Athy and Jennette?). Sometimes Ijekiel tells her he loves her and she laughs in disbelief or she snaps at him and tells him she'd cut out his tongue if he dares to lie that shamelessly to her face again, and then other times she throws herself into his arms and demands him he tell her he loves her. Even if it is a lie he better tell it convincingly. On some mornings she compliments Ijekiel's acting skills and tells him he had her almost convinced that he loved her with his act and asks what he wants in return and Ijekiel gets sad because when he told her he loved her he really meant it but his feelings never seem to reach her no matter how hard he tries.

They're kinky af in bedroom. Stuff like BDSM or knifeplay is normal to them. Athy pegs. She is a top you cannot argue with me on that.

Athy makes Ijekiel wear a collar to show others that he belongs to her and her alone

the Empress' odd relationship with her paramour fuels the gossip around the court. Ijekiel has to endure some very nasty comments about him until Athy gets wind of it and impales the severed heads of said nobles at the palace gates.

Athy is incredibly jealous and possessive. As a result, all maids in the Ruby Palace are changed for male servants, and Ijekiel lives in isolation from others most of the time. He is rarely allowed to leave the Ruby Palace and never ever left the palace grounds since the day he set the foot in this threshold.

when Athy meets Cabel and she overhears that he is Ijekiel’s friend she starts an affair with him with full intent to make Ijekiel jealous , which she ends quickly because he reminds her too much of Jennette. She’s suspicious of the kindness from strangers and immediately assumes they have ulterior motives. Cabel might become her guard later (he could be what Felix was to Claude).

I'm borrowing a bit from another person's idea here: As Ijekiel's mental health suffers so does his physical health. He knows it's impossible to appeal to Athy's conscience, so he uses the only thing she cares about (him) to threaten her. It starts with a hunger strike and ends with multiple suicide attempts.

Depending on how far gone Athy already is it can go different ways:

1. Athy's abandonment issues will kick in and she would interpret Ijekiel's suicide attempt more as him trying to find a way to escape her (which would be equivalent to betrayal in her eyes) than a cry for help.

In the beginning she might emotionally manipulate/guilt trip him, worrying if she hadn't been nice enough. Asking him how he can think about leaving her when he knows how lonely she has always been. Implying he is ungrateful since she spared his father's life for him. She might promise to be better but it would just be an endless circle where she promises to be good, keeps up this behaviour for a while and then goes back to her sadistic ways until he attempts suicide again.

2. If he refuses to eat she'd threaten to execute the cooks or force the food down his throat with magic.

3. If Ijekiel's suicide attempt resembled a way how Athy died in her previous life, he would 100% accidentally trigger her. She'd be absolutely furious. Let's say Kiel tries to hang himself with his tie, Athy would snap it with magic, and then grab him by his collar and slap him. Hard. She'd either scream or she would just silently glare at him, curling her shaking hands into a fist and then disappear into her quarters where she devises a plan how to punish him. Of course, after she put layers upon layers of protection spells on him. I imagine dark Athy to be usually quite emotionless, so this outbreak of emotions must be a huge shock to Ijekiel. And he'd spend the whole night tossing and turning and fearing what awaits him the next day.

I don't like the thought of Athy hurting her loved one, physically, but she might show Ijekiel the memories of her previous lives, especially what she felt during the times she died over and over again to make him understand.

What I’m saying is physical torture is off the table, emotional torture however...

eventually Ijekiel dies. It's a universal headcanon of mine that Ijekiel always dies young. I think in this AU he would be assassinated by a group of nobles who want Athy to hurry up and marry one of their sons. Athy has many lovers but only Ijekiel is favoured by her.

after Ijekiel's death Athy finds out that she is pregnant with twins. Athy keeps one of them in the palace and the other grows up with Jennette as their guardian. The twin growing up with Jennette becomes bright and cheerful and the child growing up in the Ruby Palace dark and gloomy. Athy neglects it because it starts to resemble their grandfather Claude more and more. The nobles who want to regain their power start to back up the second child and introduce him at the prince’s debutante ball and Athy welcomes him into the palace because he reminds her of Ijekiel and not her pitiful past self or her hated father unlike the other prince. Basically it’s the Lovely Princess 0.2, again because I’m a sucker for the you cannot escape the circle of abuse trope. Maybe there is even some confusion about who her real child is and if there is a pretender since no one knew she had twins. Athy herself might not even know it since she used a spell to erase almost all of her memories about Ijekiel. All the timelines start to become a blurr. Then the poisoning happens. She executes her first child who was presented as the culprit, only to have a flashback to her own past life where she had been executed wrongfully for the poisoning of her sister. She becomes increasingly paranoid and unstable, thinking she executed the wrong child she executes the other too just to be sure. The story would end with Aeternitas taking over her body and destroying Obelia once Athy realizes she has lost everything and gives up on trying.

[xenodile]

Been thinking a lot lately about like, how would Bylgrael feel about Yotsuyu.  Stormblood is A Lot for Byl.  Papalymo dies, Y’shtola is almost killed, Zenos is after her, she’s butting heads with Lyse, she doesn’t like Hien and his fixation on honor, and in the middle of it all is Yotsuyu.

Obviously it’s a bad first impression with Yotsuyu torturing people at Isari because Byl is a good egg, but beyond that, I’m not so sure.  Rage and lashing out is a part of who Bylgrael is.  Her fight or flight defaults to fight 99% of the time, when someone hurts her, her instinct is to hurt back, hell even when she’s terrified and emotionally broken in ARR she turns some poor Imperial into meat sauce on reflex.  Once she learns what Yotsuyu has been through, she’s going to understand entirely.  She grew up with a loving parent and a comfortable upbringing, and even still that instinctual proclivity for violence as a trauma response remains, of course someone that grew up being shown no love, being treated with such cruelty and violence on all sides is going to turn that hatred outwards at everything around her.

To an extent, Bylgrael can almost see some parts of herself in Yotsuyu.  If she had endured even half of Yotsuyu did growing up, she too would hate the world.  So everyone calling Yotsuyu evil and irredeemable doesn’t sit right with her.  Bylgrael’s killed a lot of people too after all, motivated by hatred and a desire for revenge.  The Fourteenth Legion, the traitorous Crystal Braves, Thordan and his Knights Twelve, is she just as detestable as Yotsuyu then?

So when Yotsuyu returns as “Tsuyu”, innocent and free of pain, Byl is honestly kinda happy for her.  To be relieved of all her trauma, to start fresh and be happy, is something Bylgrael herself considered more than once over the course of ARR and HW, though part of her own growth is coming to accept that hardship has made her what she is and she wouldn’t give up what she’s gained for the sake of “fixing” the past.  It does however, bring her into very direct conflict with Hien who seems to lament that honor won’t let him execute Tsuyu.  Not because to murder an innocent woman for his own catharsis is obscene, but his precious code of conduct says he’s not allowed to.  And then when he finds out one of his own is a slaver, he’s all too willing to forgive him because honor.  Bylgrael is already a pragmatic woman that thinks honor is a load of bull, so Hien being so hung up on it and using it to justify his actions is just abhorrent to her.

Naturally, Yotsuyu regaining her memories and the battle that follows tears Byl up because again, this is something Byl can understand.  She knows that horrible cognitive dissonance of being so angry and vengeful, but also grief and self-loathing, of wanting to hurt people and take your pound of flesh, but to recognize by the same token how destructive and cruel your pain has made you and how you will hurt those that care for you if you were to act on your impulses.  She doesn’t want to kill Yotsuyu, but Yotsuyu wants to die, with her dying breaths lamenting that she deserves this end and the pain it cause to those that made the mistake of caring for her.  That’s already a heavy emotional blow for Bylgrael but then it’s immediately followed up by Alphinaud leaving for Garlemald and the fight they have about that, and capped off with Hien having the audacity to be dismissive of Yotsuyu’s death.

And if that weren’t enough, when the Scions start dropping like flies, culminating in Alisaie getting yoinked at Ghimlyt Dark, yeah Bylgrael breaks entirely and is reduced to a screaming near-mindless husk of rage and sorrow, just like what she imagined would happen to her if she had to endure the kind of pain Yotsuyu went through.

So yeah, wouldn’t quite say they were ever friends, definitely not romantic, but like.  Bylgrael would not say Yotsuyu was ever her enemy, or even evil.  Bylgrael would mourn Yotsuyu in that special “I wish things had been better for you because I see way too much of myself in you and I’m not ready to unpack what that means” kind of way.

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Once I'm made queen of video games, I'm going to create an open world RPG where you play as Emma Frost.

There's going to be a morality system, but you'll start the game at 75% evil, and every time you take a good action, we'll play a sound bit of Emma groaning in annoyance.

However, morality is actually going to be a 2 dimensional measure, with one axis being good/evil and the other being bisexuality/whatever's-going-on-between-you-and-jean-grey

As an example, you can chose to respond favorably to Kate's flirtations, and doing so will get you closer to embracing your bisexuality, but in doing so, you are also more likely to find a healthy resolution for your feelings towards Jean Grey.

OR!

You can "tastefully" imply that you support conversion therapy, thus making you more evil, and pushing you further into the closet, but also strengthening your desire to inflict homoerotic psychic torment on one Jean Elaine Grey.

In Duke Nukem Forever fashion, Emma also doesn't have a health bar, instead she has a "boredom" meter that increases when she's attacked or uses her powers. If it fills up, Emma decides that saving the world is beneath her; and leaves to get day drunk on mimosas on her private beach while shirtless men in diamond studded collars eat her out.

How do you get boredom to go down? By being a huge cunt of course. Steal candy from children, tell old people to kill themselves, loudly go "who's that cow?" when an obviously anorexic girl enters the room.

These are of course all morally neutral acts, cause again we're gauging this by Emma Frost standards.

Sidequests would include

Get cancelled on all major social media platforms

Find the man who took a picture of you while your wings were slightly uneven and make his family watch as he's tortured to death

Have a drunken hookup with S.H.I.E.L.D. commander Maria Hill, agree to never speak about it.

Don't bring up the fact that you're rich and therefore better than everyone else, just once.

Torment Jean Grey with increasingly homoerotic visions.

As for collectables, there's going to be both a good and an evil set. The evil set of course being abuse survivors who you can remind deserved everything that happened to them; while the good one is baristas you can chose to be nice to.

Like obviously you're not going to tip her or anything, but you won't point out that literally everyone here can tell she's secretly a man, cause she looks like a footballer who stole his 60 year old mom's lipstick, and that really shows how much you've grown as a person and Kate should be complimenting you.

[ladysternchen]

headcanon: Elmo and Elwë, part 3

When after two hundred years Elwë returned with Melian to who was left of his people, Elmo at first didn't know what to do first- hit his brother, or hug him. In the end he did both, in that exact order. Elwë did not complain about the slap, because he knew that he quite deserved it. Ultimately of course, the joy overweighed any other feelings. Not only did Elmo take to Melian at once (as did all, really), but also his wife. The sisters-in-law soon became best friends, and so both couples remained very close until the end. As he had been before Elwë’s disappearance, Elmo became again his brother’s most important counsellor. Not only in matters concerning the realm, though, but private ones as well, and so it was to Elmo that the lord of Eglador confined all his fears when Melian was bearing Lúthien. They would sit by the edge of a small pond, huddled together in the dead of the night when most of the others were sleeping, and Elwë would pour out his heart to Elmo. Elmo (naturally, for he felt very smug about this, see below) took his time making fun of Elwë before he laid his arm around him and kissed his temple and assured him that feeling like this went naturally with becoming a father and that everything would be just fine. Elmo smirked whenever he remembered that, even after he had been allowed to remake his body after Mandos. But the memory of being for once the more experienced, the one to calm and comfort the other was just VERY satisfying.  When Morgoth started to assail the elves of Beleriand, Elmo did not ride to war with his son and brother, but remained behind, with orders to help Melian keep safe whom they could keep safe if the battle should end in death and destruction for the host of the Sindar.  It ended in death for Galadhon, and returning to Menegroth with the news of his nephew’s death scarred Elu forever. Not so much because he himself grieved Galadhon horribly (which he obviously did) but because he knew he had to hurt his little brother in the most dreadful way imaginable, and his sister-in-law perhaps even more, as she was kin to Denethor as well. He felt guilty for surviving when Galadhon and Denethor had not, felt responsible for them, and that guilt stood between him and Elmo for a long time. Time did heal those wounds in the end, not the wounds of loss, but those of blame and guilt, imagined or real.  It was quite different when Lúthien chose mortality. Everyone close enough to the King to speak openly scolded him for his actions concerning Beren, and Elmo was no exception. But he was the first to realise how dearly his brother paid for his faults. It was he who sat so often beside Elu during what in the book is so cryptically called ‘Thingol’s winter’, holding his hand and pleading with him to return to the light. Then, of course, Lúthien returned from the dead with the tidings of her sundering from her kin and though she pulled her father out of his state of despair, Elmo for one knew perfectly well that he had, in that moment, truly lost not only his niece, but his brother and sister-in-law as well. He was also aware that this would not be quick, but a slow and torturous parting. By the time Elu did meet his end, Elmo had been through so much grief (he never got over his wife’s death) that it hardly mattered anymore. And yet it did, because this was truly his whole world that crashed around him. It felt right to him to die trying to revenge his brother’s murder in the end.

[joleenenaylor]

100% this! And the romance was so all over the map that they didn't even have a strong relationship that could overcome anything. Neither had any trust or faith in the other. I get that she was supposed to hate him and be traumatized because he'd killed her family, etc. as the devil God. Yep. Ok. But then she starts to fall in love with him, or seems to even before they leave for Jing, and it's like, oh, ok, we're going for a fluffier, fairytale tone where we fall in love quick. I can dig it. And then wham! Nope! We're back to the darker, more realistic, oh she's traumatized. Mmmkay. And from there it's like a pinball game, back and forth. Maybe they were trying to show her being conflicted, but instead it just made her seem kind of insane. And no matter how many kind, good things he did, the moment there was a whisper of, "He might have done something," she immediately believed the worst. Like the scene after they've defiled his mother's ashes and tried to trap him, etc. And she's already betrayed him to freckle nose, so he gets back at her by telling her that he killed people she knew. Had that been Orchid and DFQC she'd have blinked for a minute and then said, "No, you didn't," because she believed he was good inside, even when the world said he was not, but not this FL. She immediately, "Oh! I knew you were a monster!" And maybe that would have worked had we had two or three opening episodes where we got to see him as a monster, but really all we see of him is this poor sad guy that everyone is horrible to, who deep down just wants someone to care for him, and then her yelling how terrible he is off and on. You're exactly right, there's no real message here, no defeating the odds, or working together, or anything, just a "Well, fate sucks. Sorry about your luck. Some people are just born to be tortured. Better get used to that." And who the heck wants to end on that kind of message??? He'd already told her he had a dark voice he heard, so why in the world didn't she just tell him everything early on, and then they could have worked together to try to do something about it. (I'm still unclear why he had to be killed just because thar valley was opening. Was it because the demons from it would force him to become the devil God because they really didn't manage it in the final arc, there.) But those episodes could have been heart ripping tragic. They get married, both of them knowing he'd have to sacrifice himself. God. I'd have sobbed for hours! And then when the heart protecting scale saves him at the last minute, she's devastated but grateful and he's even more devastated because now he's fated to become this evil God that he doesn't want to be, he passes out, the others throw her in prison, he runs down to see her...on and on, and finally when she does have to take the evil bone inside her it's not just to defeat him, but also to save him, as he's begging her not to, and then her death scene and him clinging to her body...it would be more like DFQC burning himself up in his dream world and it would have killed me. Instead I spent that whole episode going, "Why are you sad? She treated you like crap. You deserve better." Or, if they wanted to keep her hating him until that final arc, ok, but be consistent with it. Don't give us sugar bubblegum, them yank it back, then another bite, then yank it back. I just wanna shake some screen writers, lol! I mean, I'm obviously ridiculously invested or this wouldn't bug me as much as it does. (I've watched other shows that the plot was annoying and it's like, eh, not a great show, and I move on. But this one just bugs the crap outta me because it could have been amazing!)

LBFaD really said:

Everything in this world is fated… Only love is not fate…

Endless romantic stories about how people are destined, how they are soulmates, and LBFaD comes along, a story where the protagonist's actual occupation is watching over the destinies of people, and still says that 'there are things that can and will happen, but love will always be a choice.'

The events in the Tianji mirror must occur, but that says nothing about the context of those events. They have to follow the fate poem in the mortal world, but you can't predict how the emotions involved will play out, because who the mortals fall in love with is their choice.

By all intents and purposes, Changheng should be Xiao Lanhua's destined soulmate, but she chooses to be with Dongfang Qingcang despite the path being so open for her to spend the rest of her life with Changheng.

No power in heaven, earth, or any of the realms; not destiny or fate, nor kings or ancient gods, can be stronger than love. The power of love rules, guys.

[michaelmilkers]

Out of curiousity why precisely is it such a bad idea

ok like. i am a very avid fan of horror movies and particularly slashers. my blog icon, in case you were unaware, is literally art of michael myers from halloween a follower made for me years ago.

the slasher genre is defined by (among others) the fact that it is not serious or deep. as far as horror movies go, it usually edges more towards camp. there is gratuitous and gruesome death involving the main cast and related secondary characters because its scary and its a spectacle. the story isnt super deep, and the emotional connection you have with any main characters is usually shallow, because the point of it is to be entertaining and scary and cool to look at. i dont have to explain that conversion therapy is an awful traumatic experience that people still go through, there are lgbt kids at conversion camps right now. to take a genre like slasher films and apply it to this topic is at best tone deaf and at worst cruel.

also, it is very obviously supposed to be derivative of friday the 13th because it was set at a summer camp, camp crystal lake, which spawned a whole subgenre of slashers in this setting like sleepaway camp, the burning, cheerleader camp, etc. theres a way these kinds of movies go. the majority of the cast are going to be lgbt teens who were sent to a psychological torture camp by horrifically bigoted family and we are going to watch them get murdered in creatively gruesome ways. someone at some point wanted to do a spin on friday the 13th and decided it would not only be appropriate but somehow ironic or something to change the setting from a regular summer camp to a conversion camp. thats just so fucking idiot and braindead.

like dont get me wrong, horror can ABSOLUTELY be a GREAT genre to create analogies for or explicit stories about stuff like this. get out was about the white moderate's objectification of black bodies, rosemary's baby was about abortion, candyman was about the fetishization of black peoples trauma, american psycho was about materialism and the soulless facade of the corporate world, the thing was about the red scare; all of these very good movies very effectively communicating what they want to say about their subject matter. i keep seeing people bring up "the inherent horror of conversion camp" but when you think about horror films that are serious and about serious topics, do you think of slasher films? do you think of black christmas, or a nightmare on elm street, or scream? when you think of a suitable horror movie to portray conversion therapy with the care and respect it deserves, do you think of a parody of friday the 13th with a pun for a title?

also the title in this context pisses me off. if it were a slasher movie with almost any other setting i would be in the same boat as everyone else of thinking the title is genius and hilarious. but given what we know of the plot, either the title is referencing they/thems getting slashed, in which case, cool title about trans people getting brutally murdered, or the slasher is nonbinary, and in that case they made the villain trans in a horror movie about conversion camp.

like unless they pull a total fast one i can't see how this won't be a total disaster, even if it has a message or lesson at the end of "conversion therapy bad", why the fuck even make the movie like this in the first place

[professorsnape394]

The Dark Mark

Pairing: Severus Snape x Reader Rating: 😠 Request: @kylosbitch ‘Hii! Can I request 28, 16, 17 from the Angst list? I ADORE YOUR WRITING!🥰’

@purpledragonturtles ‘Hi! I really appreciate your writing. I read on your bio that request are open, could I request Kiss scenarios number 10 or Angst number 16? Your pick obviously🥰 Thank you so much💚’

A/N: Thank you both so much for your requests, they both chose the same prompt so I just decided to double up as I have also already done Kiss Scenario 10 here. It's just a little One shot/ dialogue piece but I hope you like it. Thanks for your patience

Warnings:  Angst. Mentions of death, murder and torture.

Word Count: 639

Credits to Gif Creator.

The dark mark stared back at her; the stark contrast of jet-black ink against the deathly pale skin of his forearm was a shocking sight to behold.

Severus had finally chosen to reveal his dark, sordid past to his girlfriend y/n after a few months of dating, he figured if he was going to propose to her, she deserved to know the worst of him.

Removing the glamour charm from his arm had been the easy part, confessing the details of his allegiance to the dark lord was harder to articulate.

She stared at the exposed area of his arm; his usual black sleeve had been rolled up to allow her a full view of the monstrosity. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, that was, what little she actually heard of his excuses before her brain completely shut down. Her mind went blank, her vision grew fuzzy, her hearing faded to a low muffle and her body turned completely numb to all movement and feeling.

There was only one thought on her mind.

Had he been there the night they died?

It was Voldemort’s followers, the Death Eaters, who had been responsible for the murder of her entire family, along with many others. Tortured to a fate worse than death, the Death Eaters bled them dry of every scrap of information they had regarding Albus Dumbledore, until finally allowing them the kindness of death. Her mother, father, sister and unborn niece were all killed in a single night. Everyone she had on this Earth, gone.

“Were you there.” Y/n managed to squeak out, her throat scratchy from the lack of moisture. “Were you there when they killed my family?”

Severus could only nod in return.

“Did you kill you them?”

Severus wanted to say no. He wanted to tell her he had nothing to do with it, that he never laid a finger on them, but he had to be honest.

“Truthfully…? I have no idea.” And it was true. The young Severus had blocked out the faces of those he had killed in cold blood, his way of coping, forgetting that they were real people with real lives. He truly had no idea who had suffered at his hands during Voldemort’s rise to power.

“Billions of people in the world, and I choose you.” Y/n sobbed, bringing her hands to her face. “How stupid was that.”

She was in such a complete state of shock, she practically burst out laughing. But the look on her face said she found nothing about this funny.

“You don’t mean that.” Severus whispered hoarsely.

“Don’t I?” The pale blue eyes that once sparkled in her head had turned grey, cold and lifeless. The last spark of joy she had held onto all these years had finally flickered out. All light extinguished.

“Please, that wasn’t me. I’m a different man now.” Severus begged, trying to make her understand.

“Don’t give me that.” She spat. “You can’t erase what you’ve done, all those people, those families who suffered because of you. You might have forgiven yourself for your past mistakes, but not everyone has that luxury.”

Severus dropped to his knees, ashamed.

“I love you, y/n, that hasn’t changed.”

“But I have.” She turned her back, refusing to look at him. “I don’t love you anymore.”

“Please, don’t do this.” A stream of tears ran down Severus’ cheek.

His tainted arm reached out to stop her from leaving. She winced, shoving him violently away from her.

Y/n turned back as she reached the door, staring down at him, a crumpled mess of black fabric sprawled pathetically on the floor.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. Get out of my life!” She yelled.

The slamming of the door emphasised the finality of her words which echoed around the room, consuming Severus whole.

~

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil @entirelymesmerising @mikariell95 @snapefiction@snapesmoonlight @a-queen-and-her-throne @amazingzou

[If I'm missing anyone or you would like to be added to my tag list just shoot me a message or comment down below and I'll get you added asap.]

[decennia]

I don't know who needs to fucking hear this, but I'm about to say it with my full chest:

SEVERUS SNAPE DESERVES NO RIGHTS, I SAID WHAT I SAID.

Why? I'll tell you why:

Let's start with Neville Longbottom. Often the butt of the joke, Neville was often played up for comedic effect, so I can understand why we never took the implications of his boggart seriously.

But the fact of the matter is: Neville Longbottom was more terrified of his potion's teacher than he was of Bellatrix Lestrange, a woman who was a proud Death Eater who tortured his parents into insanity, a fate several people throughout the series state as "worse than death."

I've heard the argument from Snape Apologists that Boggarts are "superficial" creatures, so they don't go much deeper for a fear of yours, and, having gleaned a recent and prevalent one, will shift into that. Hence why it would be Snape, who recently tormented Neville, rather than Bellatrix, who Neville has never met.

It still stands, however, that Bellatrix is a known Death Eater, and Snape was just his potion's teacher.

We also see from Harry's own experience with the boggart, that the boggart hesitated before turning into the dementor. It "chose" which of Harry's fears to become, Voldemort, or fear itself?

Now, because I always listen to both sides of a story, try and see it from both perspectives before I draw a conclusion, I asked myself "why?"

There never is a good reason for abuse, but I still tried to look at it from Snape's eyes. And the conclusion drawn was literally the same as almost every single motivation for every one of Snape's decisions: because of Lily.

Neville was born several hours before Harry, and was a contender for being "the Chosen One" (the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies) but Voldemort chose Harry.

By Snape's logic, it meant that if Voldemort had chosen Neville, Lily would've still been alive for him to woefully pine for from a distance.

And so he takes it out on a fucking c h i l d.

He abuses him, torments him, and even forces Neville to poison his pet toad, Trevor, who has been shown to be of incredible significance to Neville.

And when the potion doesn't poison Trevor? And actually proved to be a competent potion? Snape made his displeasure known by deducting five points from Gryffindor.

I know that's not a Big Deal™ in the grand scheme of things, but we have to remember that Neville was a CHILD.

Moving on from Neville, let's get to: Lily.

Remember what I said before, about Lily being his end-all and be-all for everything? I meant it.

I'm not saying she was the sole reason Snape became a Death Eater, but she was the "last straw."

Snape's dislike for muggles stemmed not from Lily (of course not, he loved her), but from his father. Yes, I remembered his father, Tobias Snape. The muggle, the abuser. Apples and trees, I guess. From what I recall, Tobias was never physically abusive towards Eileen, Snape's mother, but he was emotionally and mentally abusive towards her. This would be cause for resentment for any young child growing up in that environment.

But, for a moment, may I direct your attention to Harry James Potter?

Who grew up that exact same way with the Dursleys?

Who was also neglected (Severus was said to have ill-fitting, mismatched clothes, sound familiar?) but who also did not have Eileen there to protect him?

And did Harry ever become a member of a muggle hate group? (No. The answer is no, in case you all didn't remember that Very Important Detail of the series).

So, yes, Snape was abused, and no, I am not condoning it, I do sympathize with him on that front: no child should ever go through that. Ever. No matter the fucking child, there is no good reason for it. But do I condone his actions later on in life? Absolutely not.

Because he called Lily a "filthy mudblood."

Not just "mudblood", but a filthy one, too. And why did he do that? Because she defended him against his bullies. Yes, Sirius and James were bullies, I guess everyone's faves are a little problematic in this bitch.

And not only did he call her that, but he also was besties with people who fancied themselves the next generation of Death Eaters.

And when Lily asked him if he STILL intended on becoming one, he never gave her an answer, prompting her to sectumsempra all ties with him. Meaning, she probably gave him multiple chances to not be a raging bigot, none of which he took. Love of his life my fucking toe, gtfo—

Also, Snape obviously knew what his "friends" were doing at the time. Particularly, and especially, Mulciber's attack on Mary Macdonald.

Now, we can't talk about Lily without talking about James and the Marauders.

I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THAT THE MARAUDERS BULLIED SNAPE, OKAY? But listen up: still not a good enough reason to join the wizarding world's KKK. Actually there is no good reason, period, end of message, send tweet.

He loathed them so much, he literally gave zero fucks about their wellbeing.

Even though! Sirius' biggest crime against Severus is jokingly telling him to follow Remus Lupin under the Whomping Willow during that time of the month.

And Severus would swear that James' biggest crime against him (after "stealing" Lily, of course) would be stopping him from encountering the werewolf and saving his fucking life.

Where the fuck was that reciprocated energy when Snape KNEW that James was also marked for death?

Also, are you going to tell me, that with his ear so pressed to the ground about news on Lily, that he didn't know who the real rat was? That he didn't know that it was Peter Pettigrew? This is speculatory, but... Snape had to have known that Sirius was not the betrayer, he must've at least known it was Pettigrew, meaning he let an innocent man waste away in Azkaban and for what? Something that happened when they were kids? I wonder why Sirius is a "stray dog" idk probably because someone let him rot in Azkaban for thirteen years?

Don't even get me started on how he literally stepped over James' body to get to Lily's while Harry sat there crying. Please. Or the fact that he only wanted Lily spared? He literally said "yes, only her, please, Dark Lord, fuck that newborn"?

OKAY AND MY FINAL POINT BECAUSE THIS GOT TOO LONG AND HONESTLY I'M LITERALLY WAY TOO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS POINT... I PRESENT TO THE COURT: THE CARROWS.

Severus had been made headmaster of Hogwarts, and what does he do? Allow the Carrows to torture muggleborns and first years. Eleven year olds. Disgusting. Please. What the fuck.

I don't think Severus Snape died a fucking hero, or in "penance." NOT when twelve hours prior, he'd been turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to eleven year olds screaming as the Cruciatus Curse was used on them.

Also, James never sexually harassed Lily? Wanna discuss sexual harassment? How does "waiting outside the Gryffindor common room until someone lets you in even though it has been made very clear that the person you want to speak to doesn't want to speak to you" sound?

I am not denying that Severus Snape is a tragic character; he's a very complex and somewhat interesting one, even. All I am saying is that I don't think saying "always" on the brink of death excuses any of your past actions. He's a martyr at best — having his sins "forgiven" by sacrificing himself for a just cause.

Yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on. But, as always, I am open to a respectful conversation (not argument, conversation). If you disagree, I'd love to hear why. Try and change my mind; as long as you do so respectfully, I will hear you out.

[fairycosmos]

tbh after covid i started remembering how shitty the world can rlly be and seeing everyone seemingly stop caring about the lives of others and realizing that we truly are the same human beings that have done torture and world wars and stuff and i feel like its really hard to keep trying to find the goodness in people. but reading ur blog gives me hope that there are still people out there who are gentle and kind or at least well meaning. idk ik that sounds privileged but i think this was my first personal experience w mass tragedy and i didn't realize that you dont rly genuinely know what it's like until you experience it

honestly i don't blame you at all LOL like i basically had the same experience and i think a lot of ppl did, esp young ppl. it was just like idk. the suspicion we had our whole lives that we're surrounded and governed by unempathetic assholes at best and downright heartless lunatics at worst was confirmed in 24K for 2+ yrs straight while the death toll climbed and that was that. it was and is really disillusioning. of course it's privileged to say that, but it's also simply the truth for many. there are tons of nuance-adding factors to covid and the way ppl responded to it but a lot of the behaviour has been straight up fucking unhinged, and just so beyond ignorant lmfao in such a universal way too. nobody has any conception of anyone or anything mattering outside of their own bubble, including me to an extent obviously. it's just jarring as fuck to think we live in that every single day, so cognitively dissociated from it to get by. it's awful, and i agree that it echoes the cruelty of the past in a really uncomfortable way :( the capacity for human maliciousness is truly something else.

anyway, all that to say, it definitely doesn't mean there isn't kindness out there, and in abundance too, it's just a difficult and weird world at the same time. so many conflicting realities all occurring at once, sense is bound to be scarce. thank u lovely!! <3 im beyond glad my blog can give you a bit of comfort while we're living through what seems to be an increasingly ridiculous joke. it does the same for me tbh half the reason i believe in Anything is because of random girl bloggers online. anyway it might be like getting blood out of a stone LOL but i genuinely believe in u. and i think the people we come across are sometimes well meaning, we're just all kind of alienated from one and other too. and i think u can and will find the support system you deserve with time, for real. maybe it's just more of a weeding out the bad sort of process, rather than being able to trust and believe in everyone and everything with freedom, sadly. sending u a lot of love! i know it's hard. don't doom scroll/stay stuck watching the news if you can help it, it just makes things feel heavier for no material change in return for that pain. mwah x