#Therapist Orange County | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uzuikyo · 2 years ago

Text

take me by the hand

inspired by this tiktok video that shattered my fucking heart </3 i couldn't stop crying after seeing that video send a therapist

pairing/s : akaza x fem!reader

genre : angst, fluff, smut maybe

warning/s : major character death, mentions of infertility, pregnancy, fingering, shower sex, pregnant sex, childbirth (normal & c-section), stillbirth (the baby suffocated from the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck), self-harm, suicide, everything’s just mostly sad and depressing, ): poor akaza, (pls forgive me if some of my medical knowledge or writing are inaccurate), also it was 2am when i wrote this so if there are some grammar or spelling mistakez, i apologize >.<

wc : 3.3k

ON REPEAT 🔂

🎧 understand x pluto projector (keshi, rex orange county)

“congratulations! we’re all sooo happy for the both of you!” your best friend, mitsuri, had tears forming in her eyes as she gently pulled you in a hug to not squeeze you and the life growing inside of you. you hugged her back, thanking her as you tried calming her down.

you accepted her gift after pulling away from each other, placing it on the table just for all the presents and gifts. you were feeling kind of overwhelmed as you did not expect this many of them.

your husband saw you and felt your anxiousness. “darling,” you hummed, looking at him. “you okay?” akaza had that soft look in his eyes like he always did ever since you two got together. you nod, “just a little overwhelmed is all. i didn’t know it was going to be such a big deal or something.” you chuckled and akaza let out a small smile, placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbed soothing circles on it.

“everything’s going to be fine. i’m going to be beside you. always. i know my soon to be princess needs her mommy and daddy.” he placed a hand on your round belly and kissed your forehead before both of you went on with the celebration.

all of your friends and family attended the baby shower and all of them were very happy for the both of you to be finally having a child of your own after years of babysitting and stealing your sister’s and mitsuri’s kids and after years of trying for one yourselves.

you and akaza always took it slow and patiently ever since your obgyn informed you about having a low percentage of conceiving a child. this, however, did not stop your lovely husband from adoring you and even told you that it doesn’t matter if you were able to give him one. kids or not, he still loved you no matter what and that was enough to make you feel better.

although you do admit that other women who were able to conceive in just a few tries made you feel insecure and jealous. it made you question yours and your husband’s relationship, but akaza always knew how to reassure you and make your mind be at ease. and you loved him even more for that.

you couldn’t ask for a better husband than akaza.

“akaza!” you giddily shouted from the bathroom and your husband was in your sight in a second. “well?” you showed him the result of all the the pregnancy tests. it all read ‘positive’.

“all three of them.” you said, tears forming in your eyes. “akaza…” a sob escaped from your mouth when he picked you up and spun you around. “we’re having a baby!” his blue eyes were filled with excitement and love as he looked at your tear-stained face. “i love you so much, darling.”

akaza put you down and kissed you like the world was ending. you pulled away, resting your forehead on his but you couldn’t stare at him for too long so you buried your face in his chest, uncontrollably sobbing. “thank you for being patient with me-“

“hey, i don’t wanna hear it. i told you, didn’t i? i don’t care as long as i have you with me.” akaza mumbled in your hair, caressing your back. “but right now we have received what we’ve been wanting for a long time. and i thank the gods for that.”

akaza was there with you for every check ups and ultrasound. you remember how smiley he was when he got the very first ultrasound pictures of your baby from the doctor. his smile got wider when the doctor added how healthy your baby was in that moment that you felt like his mouth would tore apart.

first trimester

“babe.”

akaza groaned from the light taps on his shoulder. slowly opening his eyes, he looked at the clock which read 2:48am. “you need anything, darling? is something hurting or bothering you?” his raspy voice indicates how he’s trying to stay awake.

akaza fully opened his eyes and immediately got up when he saw the tears im your eyes. “i’m craving some mangoes. and pickles.” your reply made him think about whether to laugh or curse at himself, but he eventually pulled you closer to him, trying to soothe you by caressing your hair.

“shh, it’s okay. i got you, baby. you’re not bothering me. i told you i would be right beside you, right?”

every midnight and 3am cravings were fully satisfied with a sleepless and tired akaza in the morning. everytime he would get up to buy or prepare your pregnancy cravings, he would make sure you eat well and go back to sleep which leads to him not being able to go back to sleep. although sometimes he does try, cuddling in bed with you and just waiting until he falls back asleep— which sometimes works.

akaza also dealt with your crazy mood swings during the first trimester.

how you would cry over as simple as not being able to fit in your old jeans anymore, or because the whole tub of ice cream that only you ate ran out. or it may also because of a character that died in a movie or series you’re watching.

how you would snap at him over the littlest things. like not holding your hands, or not giving his attention to you immediately, or not being able to answer your calls within the first ring.

and how you would laugh at literally everything. from rengoku saying his famous “umai!” everytime he eats, to mitsuri’s kids running around and trying not to fall face flat on the ground. also, how you laugh at every serious conversations and scenarios you’re in.

lastly, akaza was the most careful as if he was the one pregnant. he did not let you do any straining activities— even exercising or walking around too much! because he knew that this part of the pregnancy stage was the most crucial one.

and you understood that. you didn’t mind his overprotective nature since this was your first child and both of you you did not want anything bad happening to you and the baby.

second trimester

your bump was more visible now and you can kind of feel the additional weight on your body. you started buying more maternity clothes because most of your bottoms won’t even fit your waist anymore.

the little human inside you also started to kick in your womb. you and akaza would always wait for the baby to kick in the morning right after you wake up and whenever you were doing something exciting as you noticed your baby always responds to happy emotions. like when you’re laughing too much or eating your favorite foods.

akaza was still tending to your every needs and cravings. although it wasn’t as bad as the first few weeks of your pregnancy, but the mood swings were still there.

however as the cravings faded, your hormones started to spike up.

“babe- fuck, are you sure you’re okay with this?” akaza tries his best to hold back, but you always pushes him to his limits. “yes, akaza, please. need you right now.” you ran your hands from his naked chest to his lower abdomen, teasing the waistband of his boxers.

his fingers dipped inside your panties, gently sliding over your now wet slit. “already so wet for me, baby?” you nodded, cheeks flushed as you moaned from the feeling. “please- need to feel you inside me already.”

akaza placed his lips on yours along with the slip of one finger inside you, making you gasp in his mouth. “keep making those noises for me, pretty girl.” he groaned, adding another finger.

“f-fuck, yes-h-haa…” the kiss turned sloppy as his fingers moved faster, his other hand playing with your swollen tits. “look how pretty these tits are. so soft and swollen, hmm-“ you sighed, neck falling back onto the pillow as he sucked on your nipple, his other fingers playing with the other.

“‘m cumming- fuck! a-ah.. akaza-“

akaza curled his fingers inside you, hitting the spot once again as you finally released. your white juices staining the bedsheets as you tried to catch your breath.

“you need help bathing?” you nodded at your husband, smiling sheepishly. “yes please, i can’t clean my legs cuz of my tummy.” you pouted and he chuckled, “alright, ma, i’ll help you. like i always do.” akaza winked at you, and you lightly smacked him on the chest.

with a hand on your elbow and another on your waist, akaza helped you step in the tub, carefully guiding you down to sit as you held your growing tummy.

akaza made sure you were relaxed and settled before letting you go and grabbing the loofah, pouring a good amount of your favorite body wash. you sighed, closing your eyes as he began scrubbing and washing your body— starting with your shoulders and chest area.

"thank you," you mumbled, leaning your head against his chest as he continued on gently scrubbing your tummy and down your legs. "this is the best that i can do since you're doing all the hard work for our baby." he pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.

after your body and hair were all washed up, akaza got you a towel and carefully helped you get out of the tub to dry you. "lotion?" you nodded at your husband's question and he happily grabbed the bottle of lotion and started applying some on your back, softly massaging every area.

it was such an intimate and peaceful feeling. you were looking at him through the mirror as he was doing it and you let out a moan when he started massaging your breasts. "that feels good?" you nodded, letting out a whine when he suddenly pinched your nipples. "akaza!"

"wanna make you feel good.." he hummed, enjoying how you looked so naked and pretty in front of the mirror. akaza sat you down on the vanity and softly kissed you. your hands wrapping around the back of his neck automatically as the feeling between your thighs made you clench them together.

akaza pulled away and started kissing down your neck. his hands making their way back to your tender breasts and kneading them. "akaza.." you moaned, grinding your hips on his as you felt him get harder under his sweatpants.

"i know darling," akaza felt your wetness the moment his fingers touched your aching center. "fuck, already so wet for me." he pushed one finger in, then another, making you gasp. "more, f-fuck- akaza, more!" you moaned, feeling frustrated from how his fingers wasn't enough to satisfy you.

"just need to make sure you'll be okay, baby. fuck-" he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, making sure you were feeling good but also comfortable in the countertop you were sitting at. he kissed your cheeks when he saw that you were close. "cum f'me, pretty girl."

you let yourself release the knot inside of you as your mouth formed an 'o', holding tight onto akaza's arms as you came. "that's my good girl. i love you so much," he kissed you passionately, and you responded, hands travelling down the band of his sweatpants to pull it down.

akaza helped you take it off and you bit your lip at the sight of his hard cock. "need it inside me, please." akaza hummed, "anything for my pretty girl." you stroked him a few times before lining the tip up your entrance. "let me do all the work, mmkay? don't want you tiring yourself." he gave you a peck and slowly pushed inside your needy entrance.

"ha-aah, s-so good-" you grabbed onto the back of his neck, watching as his whole length entered you with the sound of akaza groaning loudly. "you feel so fucking good." akaza pulled you in for a kiss and started thrusting in and out of your cunt.

both of you were moaning in each others mouths, your fingers grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging on it everytime akaza pushes deeper inside you, making the man groan. "yes, right there! ah!-" your forehead were on his as your mouth opened into a silent moan.

"are you close, my love?" akaza adjusted his pace, still being gentle as to not strain you too much nor the baby. "yes, mhmm- fuuck!" you cried out, looking at akaza with the most pretty yet lustful eyes. "let it all out darling, cum with me." both of you came, releasing the loudest moans and groans as akaza caught you in his arms before you went limp.

"i love you, my darling."

third trimester

you loathed your third trimester. you felt so heavy and tired. as well as uncomfortable, because of how round you felt. but you kept on telling yourself to stay strong for your baby. that you had a few weeks left before you can welcome her into the world.

akaza always tried his best to help you carry all the weight by holding your tummy whenever your standing up. like when your cooking, or getting ready. "i know this sounds easier said than done, but just two more weeks and we're going to see our baby."

for the last for weeks of your pregnancy, you've been going to the doctor once a week just to make sure everything is set once you give birth and that the baby is healthy.

you've also been staying inside more since you mostly felt like shit. all the weight on your tummy makes your body hurts, especially your back and waist. thankfully, your husband is there to give you a massage whenever you need one.

"i look like a ball," you pouted, talking to yourself as you were observing yourself in the mirror. akaza looked at you from his office chair at home, and smiled. "no you don't, you look like a strong, pregnant woman to me."

you frowned at him. "you're not the one carrying a whole human in him, are you?" he chuckled, raising both arms to accept defeat.

"you're ready to push, you're at 10cm already." the doctor alerted all the nurses as they began setting up the room for you and your baby once she comes out to the world. "is dad going to be with you during the whole birth?" the doctor asked, and you felt akaza hold your hand. "yes."

"okay momma, i need you to push in one, two, three!"

everything got so blurry after that. you could hear akaza telling you soothing phrases while the doctor was telling you to push and be strong. you were screaming, crying, and pushing for what felt like forever until you heard the doctor say, "i've got the head!"

you were so tired and exhausted that you didn't even realize that everyone was acting so frantically. the nurses were running everywhere, and the doctor was shouting things you couldn't comprehend although you heard the word "suffocating".

akaza was told to wait outside, and eventhough he was confused and nervous, he did what he was told to do for the sake of you and the baby.

you woke up in a different room from the one you were in earlier. the fatigue was still in your system, but you were eager to see your baby, so you tried sitting up only to feel a shooting pain in your lower abdomen.

akaza immediately stood up when he noticed you moving. your brows furrowed when you noticed his swollen, red eyes, and his overall dishveled state. "how's the baby?" you excitedly asked, only to receive a sad smile from your husband as a reply. "akaza?"

"where's our baby? is she healthy? did the nurse take her out to clean?" akaza's heart shattered when he saw the excitement and hope in your eyes slowly disappear. "darling.." you shook your head at him, terror coating your face as the tears just started pouring from your tired eyes.

"no, no, no, no!" you started thrashing around, not giving a fuck about the pain in your abdomen, eager to remove all the cords and needles attached to you just to see your baby. akaza immediately hugged you tightly, trying to stop you from hurting yourself further while whispering, "i'm sorry, my love. it's not your fault. i promise."

you kept on shouting "no!" and "my baby!" and it alarmed the nurses stationed near your room as they came in to check on you. your doctor soon came in and once you calmed down, she explained everything. about how the baby suddenly changed position and that the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, causing her to suffocate. they also had to give you a c-section in order to get her out of you which explains the pain on your lower abdomen.

everyone was devastated when they heard the news. it was hard. no one could compare to a mother losing their child. mitsuri and your family tried visiting you, but you turned all of them away. you didn't want to feel ashamed and embarassed for failing to bring your baby safely in this world.

akaza knew you were more devastated than anything else, but deep inside he also felt defeated and broken. it was his first ever child. your first ever child. you both waited so patiently for one and she got taken away from you so quickly and suddenly.

he did not ever leave your side after that day, not caring if he missed work because you were more important to him than anything and anyone else.

akaza knew you needed him and he needed you.

however, you couldn't be there for akaza because you feel deep down the rabbit hole and you couldn't climb back up no matter how hard other people helped you do so. it was like the world and just life lost its meaning.

you never once thought about how akaza was feeling, because you were to focused on grieving and blaming yourself for being a bad and a failure mother. you never once saw how akaza would cry in his office or whenever he was alone in the bathroom or whenever you were already asleep at night.

but akaza never blamed you for anything. he couldn't imagine how hard it is to carry a life inside of you for nine months just for it not to live once it was out of your womb. he understood how you couldn't be there for him because he knew it how hard it was. he understood how you couldn't comfort him and make him feel better, because at least you were there with him. at least, you were still alive and breathing beside him.

you should've known. you should've listened to all of akaza's words about how "it wasn't your fault" and "i still love you no matter what". you should've felt it through his actions. how he would still kiss you every morning when you wake up and every night before sleeping. how he would still cook your favorite foods and try to cheer you up by playing your favorite shows on the tv.

because maybe. just maybe if you did, then akaza would not be kneeling on the floor with your lifeless body swimming in a pool of blood.

maybe he wouldn't have to bear the silence of the big house which was once a home for both you and him, and your baby. maybe the house would still be lively from your cheerful presence and maybe even filled with little akazas and you running around the house instead of two pink urns designed with cherry blossoms on a table.

475 notes · View notes

transbookoftheday · 10 months ago

Text

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

A sharply honest and moving debut perfect for fans of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and Ask the Passengers.

Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. But Riley isn't exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in über-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley's life.

On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it's really like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley's starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley's real identity, threatening exposure. And Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

From debut author Jeff Garvin comes a powerful and uplifting portrait of a modern teen struggling with high school, relationships, and what it means to be a person.

#symptoms of being human #jeff garvin #nonbinary #genderfluid #trans book of the day #trans books #queer books #bookblr #booklr

38 notes · View notes

atallephoculary · 8 months ago

Text

—- G o s p e l —

[ @extristitiavenit ]

Hope County was truly a beautiful place; the cascading mountains and rolling hills of fertile farmland seemed to stretch for miles and miles, disappearing into lines of thick spring pines that dotted the horizon. It seemed like it was such an idyllic place; Marion often found herself reminiscing about her childhood home in Baton Rouge, Louisiana whilst on her lunch breaks due to the overwhelming amount of very beautiful but very foreign scenery… A swampy transplant into an arid tundra, a fish out of water. Being sent all over the country was hard enough as it was, but never being able to stay in one place long enough to grow some roots was harder. It was always something- a new job, a boyfriend, loss of income— something- something- something… Deputy Fuller had hoped that a change of scenery into the God fearing farmlands would strike down whatever wandering roots that would grab soil. Maybe this could actually be the place she settled down and called it good. Maybe it was the place where she would live and die quietly after she finished with whatever dumb prospect this job was.

The station was quiet, though as usual there was a gentle chatter over the radio between squad cars and her co-workers idle conversations flowing through the air in a gentle hum while the air conditioning unit whirs quietly overhead. As nice as it was to have such down time, it did put a slight alarm through her. Could it be quiet here for longer than a day? Probably not- there was always something happening over the radio, with those Peggies meandering around the valley and mountains- the ‘Eden’s Gate’ project, or whatever.. She really didn’t care. It didn’t affect her life, (well- it did- it did so much she ended up in Hope County, Montana to fill in a position that was, in fact, permanently vacant); and the ways it did affect her were easily written off with a nice blunt and a cold drink at her small cabin after work. Quitting time was always on her mind- her hazy green hues darting over to the white bubble clock that hung over the dirty front door. 5:15 p.m.- another 15 minutes until she could clock out and head home… Outside, a caravan of white vehicles with that stupid cross painted on the sides of them head down the main thoroughfare- honking and blasting their music loud enough to be heard all the way inside the station offices- “Keep your rifle by our side!” The tune hangs high in the air like a flag, and soon the cacophony of tires and engines and guitars fade into the distance until there was nothing left but the gentle clicking of the clock and the hum of the air conditioner. Marion rolled her eyes, stretched her arms up above her head and let off a loud yawn; hands unceremoniously rubbing her face and pushing back her mess of black curly hair. What a boring day. Nothing but paperwork and emails, two phone calls from the F.A.N.G center and one from the Chief to keep an eye out for a package that may or may not show up. Again. What a thrilling job; (Junior) Deputy Sheriff and she may as well have been a fucking secretary.

Another shift, another day completed; clocking out with an actual time punch was always one of the best parts of the job, one of those ‘little things’ her therapist back in Los Angeles told her when she was in her early years of being on the force.. What a lifetime ago, freshly 18 and just wanting to do the right thing— a road to hell paved with the best of intentions.. The old machine reams the paper with a clunk and Marion is out the door with her bag and glasses in hand, headed out to the old Ford truck in the parking lot.. The sun was setting by now, the sky being painted in brilliant chunks of reds and oranges and pinks.. A nice view for the drive home too, tires whirring down the evenly paved road down into Holland Valley. Farm land, for miles and miles. At least, she thought, it didn’t stink like some parts of the country she had stayed in.. These people out here took good care of their livestock and it showed. When the engine of the trucks begun to rattle and almost scream with uncertainty, it made her flicker back to reality and ease off the road and onto the shoulder; smoke flooding from the hood of the car as the lever under her seat was pressed with trepidation and concern for how she was now going to get home.

Standing over the fried engine, lit cigarette between her lips and flashlight in her southpaw, she felt like a real tool standing out there in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, nothing but trees and fields and cars that scooted by almost hurriedly as the night settled into the valley. Marion didn’t blame them- things tended to get sketchy at best when night came.

“Aaaah fuckin’… Ya’ piece of shit, perfect fuckin’ timing to die out on me huh. You juss’ loooooove causing me issues.” The bayou woman scoffed and slammed the hood down after settling on a diagnosis: Fried radiator and snapped belt, transmission broken. Absolute destruction. Leaning now with her back to the warmed metal of the hood, she idly flicks through her phone— no signal— no reach. There was nothing out here, and she wasn’t exactly able to take a radio from the station. That was priorly a write up. So with a scoff and a groan and a few more expletives, Marion cleared the cab of her belongings and shoved them unceremoniously into her leather backpack, turned off the lights and slammed the truck door closed with a thud. There was nothing now but the eerie silence and the air current moving through the trees- if she didn’t like the dark at home, she surely hated it when outside. There was a certain fear that comes with walking alone at night, but hopefully, hopefully, the 13 mile walk in almost pitch darkness wouldn’t be that bad.

#| Gospel of Baptism — John }#And we should. — Starters }#| @extristitiavenit }#(( || And awaaaaaayy we go! ))

28 notes · View notes

im-just-a-little-boy-really · 4 months ago

Text

dni list

🖤🌑 <3

if any of these apply to you, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG.

pedophiles

"MAP"s

ddlg (or adjacent)

anyone sexualising minors is any way (fictional characters count)

homophobes

transphobes

xenophobes

anti-xenogender

anti-neopronouns

self harm blogs

eating disorder blogs

nsfw blogs of any kind

anti-age regression

anti-pet regression

anti-age dreaming

anti-pet dreaming

anti-therian

anti-nonhuman

anti-furry

racists

sexists

ableists

"autism mums"

autism speaks supporters

armchair therapists/psychologists

agere/age dreaming/petre/pet dreaming "elitists"

anti-alternative

mindless self indulgence supporters

rex orange county supporters

the orion experience supporters

brandon urie supporters

vivziepop supporters

only political blogs

blank accounts

please respect my dni! this account is my safe space and i deserve to have it that way.

#sfw agere #age regression #age regressor #agere blog #agere community #agere little #safe agere #agere caregiver #age dreaming #age dreamer #dni list #proship dni #dni

15 notes · View notes

haveyoureadthistransbook · 1 year ago

Text

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

goodreads

Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. The thing is…Riley isn’t exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in uber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley’s so-called “normal” life. On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it’s REALLY like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley’s starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley’s real identity, threatening exposure. Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

Mod opinion: I haven't read this book yet and I probably won't, because it doesn't sound like something I'll enjoy.

#symptoms of being human #jeff garvin #polls #trans books #lgbt books #trans lit #lgbt lit #lgbt literature #trans literature #genderfluid #ya

17 notes · View notes

psychologycenter · 8 months ago

Text

OC Psychology Center – Comprehensive Mental Health Services in Orange County

The OC Psychology Center, located in Newport Beach, CA, offers specialized mental health services for children, adolescents, and adults. Their services encompass individual therapy, family therapy, parenting support, and psychological assessments. The team includes clinical psychologists and counselors focused on addressing various mental health challenges, providing online therapy options, and ensuring accessibility to necessary accommodations for academic and professional examinations.

#therapist orange county

0 notes

telechats123 · 9 months ago

Text

https://justpaste.it/ad31g

#trauma #therapist orange county

0 notes

littlest-photography · 9 months ago

Text

What I Think Each LPS: Popular Character Would Major In:

Savannah - Creative Writing

Okay, this one is kind of a stretch and doesn't have any real backing. Savvy isn't shown to have many interests outside of Sage, fashion, vengeance and pettiness against Brooke, and her ED. HOWEVER! I have the weird sense that she would be into creative writing. She has lots of experiences and deals with all kinds of personalities and heavy emotions. I think she could be good at venting and expressing different thoughts and feelings through writing. She also seems very creative and obviously intelligent.

Brooklyn - Psychology

Every psychology student studies psychology because they have been through a lot. Brooke would fit right in. I think she would start healing herself after being away from her mom, and she would definitely take an interest in wanting to help heal others. No way Brooke didn't grow and change after the events of season 2. Former mean girl with an emotional abusive and controlling mother learns to be better as an adult as she realizes how messed up her situation growing up was and then desires to help those in similar situations? Sounds about right.

Note: She could be a child psychologist/therapist or a social worker.

Sage - Sports Medicine

I have no doubt that Sage is interested in sports, but I feel like he was never very passionate about it. He doesn't seem to be good with people so I can't see him working with the general public. Plus, in order to get into Orange County Day, you need to have high grades and meet certain requirements. So, everyone is clearly smart and has a good academic profile. Sage is a lot more than a dumb jock stereotype, but he is still a straight sports guy. He may not be a pro athlete, but certainly still working in sports.

Tom - General Major

Tom seems like a guy who would give himself time to figure out what he wants and test the waters a bit. He's very patient in my opinion and could probably end up in different career paths. Mostly, I envision him as a life coach or something similar. Some career that lets him work with people and give advice. Maybe even a teacher for high school kids. Tom gives off major "That One Cool High School History Teacher" vibes

#lps #littlest pet shop #lpsblr #lpscommunity #old lps #lps popular #savannah reed #brooklyn hayes #sage bond #tom dawson #lps series

13 notes · View notes

thesinglesjukebox · 1 year ago

Text

IZZY HELTAI - "25"

youtube

From Thomas, a country-adjacent trans singer-songwriter reflecting on his quarterlife...

[6.38]

Thomas Inskeep: Heltai's a trans male folk-adjacent singer/songwriter in his mid-20s who's been getting better with each release, but "25" is a genuine knockout. The song starts out with him worrying about worrying too much and "try[ing] so hard"; his mom reminds him that he's got plenty of time to do, and figure out, things. It's a sweet and simple, loping, strummy number -- think Jason Mraz if he were actually good. But then the bridge comes along, and OOF: "And if I peaked in high school/Then maybe I wouldn't care/But I was just another queer kid/And I thought that I'd be dead/By the time that I turned 20/Guess I'm pushing all my luck/Living past my life expectancy/'Cause trans kids normally don't get this far." The first time I heard this, I started sobbing; it still nails me in the gut and the heart. As someone who was a queer kid in high school who thought (and often hoped) I'd be dead, let alone who realized in my early 50s that my gender identity is neither what the world nor I had perceived it to be, I feel these lines acutely. And Heltai's singing style is so laconic that the lyrics creep up on you. He's not overly emoting, just being very "this is my truth" about it, which makes the impact that much harder. He's one of our best right now, and this is without question my single of the year. [10]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Oh no! I think this song is sweet and meaningful and a beautifully honest rendering of trans and queer young adulthood but I also think it sounds like Mac DeMarco! Diversity win? [6]

Will Adams: There's an earnestness that elevates "25" above the more cynical spate of mental health pop songs we saw in the late '10s, and a warm pop-rock arrangement is always welcome. But I'm 31 now; while I still struggle with how to just live in this world -- we all do -- I've aged out of this particular mode of struggle, which verges on the naive. All I can do is take comfort in its existence; what "Vermillion" was for me at a point in my life, "25" will be for someone out there. [6]

Oliver Maier: I tried for a moment to think of what genre you would call this, but truth be told it just sounds like Spotify to me. It's Vibe-core. Soulful but not effortful indie rock-lite that's always home by curfew. I feels like it's everywhere, but I couldn't name another song that does it because they all feel so disposable (probably something by Rex Orange County; if not patient zero, he's surely a super-spreader). And Izzy is trying to sing about something of enormous importance on the bridge here! Why do this topic such a disservice with such nothing music and self-infantilising lyrics? The way he punctuates the god-forsaken therapist line with a seltzer spray of guitar noise (wake up!!! Mental health is happening!!!) makes me groan. 25 is not too old to have a little more imagination. It's too old to be singing like that, though. [1]

Vikram Joseph: A neat way to recalibrate yourself in time is to remember all the things you worried you might be too old to do 5 years ago, and then to think about how young your 5-years-ago self seems to you now, and then to think about how young your current self will seem to you in 5 years time. Izzy Heltai talks himself round in a similar way on "25", a sweet and wholesome (if slightly unadventurous) bit of country-pop. It's all lolloping guitar and creaky synth, gentle and comforting, at least until Heltai reminds us that "trans kids normally don't get this far." [6]

Ian Mathers: It'd be real easy for me, a cishet white dude who remembers 25 and also remembers not having a lot of 'real' problems at 25, to shrug off this guy worrying that he hasn't done enough at that age. But even if things didn't feel different in general in 2023 (and they do!), Heltai takes time in this sweet and charming song to make explicit why my demographic peers should maybe shut up and think about it a bit: "Guess I'm pushing all my luck/Living past my life expectancy/'Cause trans kids normally don't get this far." It can take a lot to actually feel like you've still got time. "25" is lovely because it feels like, even if just recently, Heltai knows he does. [7]

Hannah Jocelyn: "Why do I try so hard?" I'm working four jobs, and it's not enough; I'm lucky to have a supportive family and supportive friends, I'm lucky in so many ways. I have people telling me I'll get there someday, but it's a ticking clock, isn't it? We know where the country's going; who knows how much time we have left regardless of age. On the bridge of the year, Izzy Heltai says: "Guess I'm pushing all my luck/Living past my life expectancy/'Cause trans kids normally don't get this far/That's why I try so hard." I wasn't sure I'd get this far, either; my egg cracked at 17, and it took the world ending at 22 for me to pursue transition. Sure, I had the privilege of passing as a cis guy, but ask anyone who really knew me and it did not outweigh the suffering I felt. Even now, I have trouble thinking about a five-year plan because I don't know what life will look like for people like me and Izzy in the future. So I find the purposeful naivety of this song affecting; we're going to keep on going anyway and inspiring one another, fuck you. "25" isn't a masterpiece; the production is pristine but uninspired adult alternative (give or take some distorted guitars and a pretty chorused bit at the end), and the pacing of the song is too slow even if the bridge pays it off beautifully. But it doesn't need to be a colossal achievement. We're just trying to live. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The perfect soundtrack to an award-winning, coming-of-age tearjerker premiering at Sundance. [2]

Katherine St Asaph: His heart is in the right place, and his guitars eventually get there. "25" is self-released, so I'm sure this is exactly the sound he wants to make. But as the Mandy, Indiana single demonstrated, it's possible to have both a message and an instrumental that doesn't sound like James Blunt. [3]

Taylor Alatorre: At first this comes across as a less knotty and warbled take on Pinegrove's emo-Americana fusion, though the unaffectedness of the writing tells me Heltai likely arrived at this synthesis independently. Then that classic alt-rock crunch drops in, with a tone that says "hey, I don't usually use guitars like this in my music, so you'd better listen up." It's a good way to mirror the shifting worries and impulses depicted in the lyrics, without veering too far away from one particular headspace in one particular moment. Unlike the most famous emo-adjacent song about being 25 and aimless, the mood here is more reflective than exhortatory, with an unhurried pace that matches the implied conversational tone between Heltai and his mother. [7]

Brad Shoup: The plain-spoken nature of this--the genial self-deprecation, the way he names his fears with a shrug, the reminder to get some sleep--gets me thinking about those fantastic queer compilations that the Folkways label put together in the '70s and '80s. They're insular and open: a window to warm and messy worlds I will never truly know, but were everything to the musicians and their communities. It makes sense that the trickster coffeeshop-folk would be replaced with drawling adult alternative, and it's touching that Heltai sees the anthemic in such a straightforward text. I hope he's singing this for decades. [7]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: "25" comes from that feeling where you look around at everyone else enjoying a pleasant day and wonder if you're the only one gripped with anxiety inside about things you've put off or forgotten to do. It comes from that feeling where even after you've done the work of rejecting toxic stress and begun defining success your own way, you still feel self-conscious about your life decisions; where you feel genuinely happy for your peers upon learning about their accomplishments, but secretly and ashamedly wonder how they've all managed to reach their full potential, while your own dreams feel like a perpetual work-in-progress. It's a feeling that one day you realized your other queer friends had too, each of you gripped with the pressure of proving your own happiness and worth in a society that denied your very existence. When Izzy Heltai sings, it feels like he's one of those friends, reminding you that you're not alone. Set to an ambling beat, each confessional is accompanied by the crescendo of a lazy guitar. I hear serious healing and self-care in his voice, even as he conversationally shares interventions from his mom and therapist or casually mentions being a trans kid who didn't think he'd make it to adulthood. I turned 27 last month, officially entering into the late 20s. As an adult, I often experience happiness and community my younger self couldn't have even imagined. But on my worst days, I still feel like I'm constantly chasing a future version of myself--and I'm exhausted by that chase, and scared that I'll never stop feeling that way. I'm also a high school teacher who runs a GSA, seeing the cycles of how young queer kids mask their insecurities by pushing themselves to be the best, setting themselves up for standards they'll later need to unlearn. I want them to hear this song and o know that they're enough the way that they are and they don't have to try so hard--and I want to believe those messages for myself. The most powerful message of "25" is about extending ourselves grace. We will never run out of time to become who we truly want. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: We both got a lot of time left. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#izzy heltai #music #country music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

3 notes · View notes