#Their behavior can come off as ill-intended but at core they just work differently to other people and have different needs so i love shuba

[thedrotter]

((cw blood, reference to eating a person))

(OC) More Shiba drawings, but these are actually recent! This time I will share a bit about Shiba. A non-goat creature from the Nether (She is a Minecraft OC ww) who now walks with society. She can be briefly described as strange in any angle ww

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Jo’s Top 10 of 2020

I see lots of artists doing that thing where they post a piece from each month of the year... unfortunately my content creation isn’t necessarily consistent and it’s hard to track what month individual fic chapters were posted in, but I figured I’d do something similar and post my Top 10 pieces of content I created in 2020, what they’re about and why I love them. I actually did get a fair amount done this year thanks to the lockdown, but I’ve narrowed it down to these ten that I’d like to reflect on. (To be fair, I’m probably forgetting something huge. Feel free to leave comments if you think I passed over something important lol.)

10. Friendship in the Horde (meta): This is something I’d wanted to write for a while but finally got around to finishing in February. It’s basically a sociology paper lmao, an analysis of the social hierarchies and systems of the Horde. It was also a convenient excuse for me to gush about Catralonnie, an underrated (friend)ship. But honestly this was an important piece for me because I have always identified with the Horde characters way more than any of the rebels (other than Adora, who grew up in the Horde) and part of why is how they are in an unsafe environment and end up forming relationships that are helpful for survival but hinder them psychologically. And I think to understand the Horde characters and really evaluate their motives and choices you need to understand this first.

9. The Sting in My Eyes: On the surface this is just a run of the mill hurt/comfort oneshot, but it was a really important post-canon processing fic for me. I had a lot of feelings about Catra’s relationships with Shadow Weaver and Melog in season 5, particularly about how Catra must have felt really conflicted after Shadow Weaver told her what she wanted to hear all those years but in a way that felt unearned and out of the blue. It was really cathartic for me to write a scene where she struggles with those mixed feelings but has Adora and Melog to help her process them. And I had long associated the song the title is from with Catra and Shadow Weaver’s relationship, and the way she died trying to redeem herself really solidified that connection.

8. Hail Mary, chapter 6: This was supposed to be a short chapter mostly about the backstory between Catra and Scorpia in this au, with some Catradora yearning thrown in. It evolved into a massive, sprawling thing that is very atmospheric in terms of how the setting and vibes are described and how in the moment it feels. Hail Mary is like that sometimes but that type of narration is usually about football games rather than parties, so this chapter was a fun change of pace in many ways. It was really nostaglic for me to write too, the nerves of being a teenager at a party with your crush and how intense everything feels. And the Scorptra stuff really is delicious, it was nice seeing them have that conversation they never got to have in canon and truly make up, and the tiny sliver I added of Catra’s earlier history was heartbreaking in the best way. So this was not what I intended to write, but it turned out way better for it.

7. A Better Son or Daughter (AMV): I’ve done other Adora AMVs, but this one is really my iconic piece. The song is perfect for Adora, so perfect it’s on Noelle’s Adora playlist. The vid itself is a character study about Adora’s mental health struggles and the way she represses them, as well as a tribute to her resiliency and her eventual triumph of getting to a better place in her life. This is a song that gives me a lot of feelings and once I was making it about Adora it gave me even more, so this was a very satisfying piece to complete. I wish Noelle had gotten a chance to see it but oh well, maybe down the line.

6. Hail Mary, chapter 12: This is the chapter that much of the fic had been building to, Catra and Adora in conflict because Catra finally got the chance to be Adora’s hero and Adora shot her down. It’s painfully analogous to canon, both in terms of how (I suspect) Catra felt in Thaymor and Adora’s tendency to victim blame because she’s so pragmatic. There’s definitely some tones of Taking Control in there but Lonnie does a much better job of examining Catra’s psychology and needs than Glimmer did in canon (a writing error imo, Glimmer should have had more insight). Adora just wants to help but sometimes in her quest to do so she disenfranchises others, and this was a much needed look at that aspect of her character. It’s also an excellent illustration of what it’s like to play a peacekeeping role in an abusive household and how stressful it is trying to protect others while also protecting yourself.

5. Unstoppable (AMV): This is not my favorite Catra AMV I’ve ever done, but it might be the cleverest. The soundtrack is a song about mental illness masquerading as a song about being a bad bitch, which is basically Catra in a nutshell. The lyrics are incredibly fitting for her and her arc as it develops over seasons 1-4. The vid itself takes a hard turn in the interpretation of the lyrics, going from talking about how no one can stop Catra to how she can’t stop herself because she’s in such a terrible sunk cost fallacy spiral, and I think I got several death threats over that twist lmao. As someone who primarily deals in angst, there’s hardly a better compliment to be paid.

4. Demons, chapter 31: This one got real dark on me. The concept of this chapter was originally an examination of how comparing abuse can get really dicey but you also have to respect that other people have had different experiences from you and you have to be careful not to equate things or make it sound like you’re talking over someone else. I guess it’s also a bit of a look at how autistic people (like myself) will often explain why they can empathize so others know they understand rather than saying empty platitudes, but that can come off as insensitive or like they’re making things about them. I mean, in this case Adora kinda was making things about her, but she was provoked into it by a parade of comments insinuating she didn’t suffer at all, which was also unfair. Anyway it’s one of the more important Catradora fights in Demons and something I’d written bits of over a year prior, it was that important to the plot, but it also took a turn I was not originally planning. I finished the chapter when I was in a really bad depressive and self-loathing spiral and that bled onto the page, but it worked perfectly for Catra in this scenario... that push and pull of feeling like the world has hurt and victimized you mixed with knowing you’ve done some bad things yourself and feeling like you don’t have a leg to stand on when mourning the ways you’ve been hurt. It’s intense as all fuck but it’s excellent.

3. Hail Mary, chapter 11: Speaking of dark Catra content, this chapter... whew. It was really something else, to read and to write. I have written flashbacks in Demons that are more detailed and even include explicit violence but because those scenes are always in flashback form I never really got the chance to sit in the head of an abuse victim waiting for the other shoe to drop for an entire chapter like I did here. It’s quite different from the rest of Hail Mary stylistically and is both highly sensory and extremely internalized. It took me back to some terrifying moments in my own life so it was difficult but also extremely cathartic to write. It’s important too because it really sets up where Catra was at mentally heading into her big fight with Adora, and that chapter is in Adora POV. This chapter is ranked so high simply because it’s... polished, as @malachi-walker put it. It almost is its own story within the story and really noteworthy as a piece all its own.

2. Demons, chapter 26: This chapter is very similar thematically to Hail Mary 12, just based in the canonverse. It deals with one of the core (but highly neglected by fandom) conflicts between Catra and Adora, where they both need to feel like they can take care of and protect the other but also detest feeling weak or vulnerable themselves. It leads to Adora’s ego making Catra feel disrespected and Catra’s behavior confusing Adora and making her think she’s an ungrateful brat rather than someone who needs so badly to be needed, just like her. There’s definitely some power struggles in this chapter but finally they’re able to get to the heart of it and seeing them talk it out is so satisfying. Getting this chapter published was also important to me on a personal level because, like I said, this aspect of their conflict and relationship is rarely acknowleged for how important it is when really it’s one of the deepest conflicts between them in the series. It’s a scene I started writing pretty much as soon I knew I was extending the fic into something longer because I just needed them to have this conversation, so finishing it was so satisfying.

1. Satisfaction, chapter 3: This chapter took me a really long time to write, both in terms of time to get it published and time I actually spent working on it. It’s the crown jewel of a fic that’s really important to me and I had to get it just right, so I spent more time agonizing over every detail and rewriting things to get them absolutely perfect than I usually do (I’m a perfectionist anyway, but this took it to a whole other level). But in the end it was worth it, because this chapter is damn fine. It’s really hot, as you’d expect from a smut fic, but it’s also an excellent character study of how both Catra and Adora were affected by their abuse and trauma and the issues it raises for them in terms of sex and intimacy. Also, come on, we need more BDSM fics out there that focus on the actual point of it all (the trust involved) and promote communication and do the character work to explain why they might be into it in the first place.

BONUS (from December 31, 2019): One of my favorite pieces of 2020 technically came out in 2019, but I posted it on New Years Eve so most people first saw it in 2020. It’s an absolute banger of an AMV called I’m Not Jesus that’s all about Catra and Adora’s anger towards Shadow Weaver and their refusal to forgive their abuser. Funny enough this came out before Adora’s iconic “I will never forgive you” line, and Shadow Weaver definitely made things more complicated with how she went out, but I think the sentiment still applies.

[allthebooksandcrannies]

I know a lot of older people think it's a problem that so many young people don't want to have children, but I think it shows an increased understanding for how much of a responsibility parenting is and how much damage you can do to a child of you're not ready to raise someone.

I think that everyone is capable of being a good parent and I think that some people should never be parents. These may sound mutually exclusive but they aren't because there's a big if involved in the first half. That if, is that everyone is capable of being a good parent someday if they put in the work to take care of their own shit first.

When you become a parent or guardian, you are officially signing on to prioritize another person's physical and emotional needs before your own for the rest of their life. That means loving them no matter what they do or who they become. That means putting aside your own exhaustion and frustration at your day when they walk through the door so that you can be their champion and their confidant and their companion. That means teaching them how to process their emotions and think critically and empathetically and it means letting them find their own path, even if it's different than the one you wanted or imagined for them, but making it clear that if they need or want your comfort, your help, or just your ear that they will have it. You don't have to be perfect. No parent ever is, and it's important anyway for kids to learn in nontraumatic ways that adults make mistakes too and that's okay as long as you take responsibility for that and strive to learn and grow because of your mistakes. Kids learn by watching and listening to the adults around them and the things they conclude from those early years of observation will stick with them the rest of their lives.

I know that that sounds scary. It probably should because deciding to raise a child should be the biggest decision you can make, and if it's not, you may not be taking it seriously enough.

I also know that this is hard. And I have the greatest respect for people who truly understand this and decide to raise a tiny person anyway.

I'm also not trying to discourage you from becoming a parent. You may not be ready now, but that doesn't mean you can't be later. I personally would love to be a mom some day not I know that I have a lot of personal growth and healing I need to take care of first, to say nothing of the stabilization of my financial and career status.

The real question is what can you do to be a better parent, guardian, or even trusted adult to someone else's child (a really important and valid role and choice in itself!) later?

First off, you need to do some hard core introspection to figure out what traits and behaviors you have that might exhibit that would interfere in your ability to be a good parent. Maybe you're still emotionally immature. Maybe you're struggling with uncontrolled mental illness, chronic illness, or addiction. Maybe you've internalized some toxic ideas. Maybe you're still recovering from trauma or just now realizing that what you have even is trauma. None of these things makes you a bad person and none of them stops you from being capable to becoming a good parent. But, all of them can interfere with your ability to model healthy behaviors and coping skills to your child. Children learn through observation and, because their brains need the world to make sense and be predictable, they're going to interpret everytime you seem upset or lose your cool as being their fault. Young children aren't capable of going "mom is upset and snapped over something relatively trivial, she must be having a bad day/be tired/etc" because that's an interpretation of the world that is outside their control. Instead, they're going to go "I did x and mom got mad at me, it's my fault so I better not do x again" and that's a really harmful mindset that can contribute to self-worth issues and other mental illnesses like anxiety, especially if this happens long-term (for the record, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to snap over stupid things because being a grown-up is hard, so when you inevitably make this mistake it's important to be honest and upfront with your child about what happened, why, how it's not their fault, and you have to genuinely apologize for it, turning your mistake into a chance to model good adult behavior).

It's important to take care of yourself and let yourself grow and heal before bringing a kid into the mix because 1. you'll be a better parent if you start out in a better place emotionally and mentally, and 2. because you deserve the chance to be healthy and happy and it's much harder to address the things that are interfering with that when your also trying to juggle the additional emotional/mental demands of raising a child.

Additionally, I definitely recommend making sure you and anyone else taking a primary caretaker role in your child's life is in a stable financial and that the relationship between you and any other caretakers is stable and amicable regardless of what kind of relationship it is. The financial aspect is important because kids are expensive as hell (both the having/acquiring and the raising) and you want to be able to provide then with the best possible shot at life.

This isn't about me but I feel like the example will be helpful. We weren't poverty level growing up, but even as a child it was clear to me that we could be. My parents were 20 year old newlyweds when they got pregnant. My dad had been set up to inherit a position in his father and grandfather's construction company and did not go to college because they thought he was guaranteed a steady job. My mom was paying for a college education she couldn't afford because no one had ever explained how to get financial aid and scholarships to her and her parents were too caught up in their own shit to be anything but relieved about getting to make her future my dad's problem. Then they got pregnant. They started building a house that took much longer to build then expected because that construction business dad was expecting to inherit went out of business because it turned out that a cousin had been embezzling and my great-grandmother wouldn't let them sue or press charges against family. Mom had to drop out of college to raise me because daycare costs as much as she makes at work and she no longer has the time or funds. They had a baby they weren't prepared to raise and my dad's new job had him working in the Texas heat all day before going and working on our house at night so that we could move out of my maternal grandfather's house now that he was getting divorced and couldn't afford it. My parents society never saw each other and they were constantly worried about money. Less than two years after I was born they accidentally got pregnant with my brother. He ended up with failure to thrive and (although he did eventually recover) it raked up a serious amount of debt in addition to my mom's student loans and the mortgage. Flash forward four more years and my dad falls through a roof at a construction site and permanently cripples his ankle. Cue a year of the only breadwinner in the household being unable to work, several surgeries and massive medical bills we can't pay. A year after that my mom has to have a historectomy because her fibroids are causing immense pain and then they find pre-cancerous cells. Another year after that she starts having unexplained siezures and signs of organ failure that will take years to diagnose as a rare autoimmune disorder that will leave her disabled and, again, rake up serious medical debt. I found out in college that it came to the point that we almost lost the house but as a kid I still always knew we were struggling. And that fucks with a kid's head. There were reasons I didn't tell my parents that something was wrong for a week after I sprained my wrist when I was 10 and it wasn't just because I didn't want to sound like I was asking for attention (a phobia that also comes from having emotionally immature parents). I pushed myself ridiculously hard in school because I knew I couldn't expect any help paying for college from my parents. I still feel incredibly guilty anytime I spend more than 20 dollars even though it's my money and I need groceries or textbooks or gas or whatever. A lot of these issues would have been financially difficult and unpredictable, but had my parents been in a more stable position when they got married and started having kids, it would have been much easier to weather the storms.

Additionally, money is the main thing couples fight about, so if you can take that off the table as a significant concern before bringing kids into the mix, please do. Maslow's hierarchy of needs states that you can't address higher order concerns like personal growth of your worried about where your next meal is coming from and that goes for your children as well.

Again, I'm not trying to shame people for their financial difficulties. Most of us are playing at a game we were never intended to win and I get that not all children are planned. But, your good intentions unfortunately will not put food on the table or pay the rent and your children will have a lot less stress in their lives if you are able to make sure that things are as stable as possible before you bring them into it.

The same goes for your relationship with fellow caretakers. Don't try to have kids to save your relationship. Don't ever make your children feel like your relationship is in anyway their responsibility. Again, they need their world to make sense and if you're fighting they're probably going to assume it's somehow their fault. Don't do that to them.

Anyway, this rant turned out a lot longer than I intended but I think I needed to say it. In summary, raising children is not about you but your going to make it about you unless you take care of your own shit first. Children don't ask to be born. If you're not ready for that responsibility, either don't have kids or put in the work so that you will be. If you already have kids, and don't have your shit together, there's still time but it's going to be harder and you might have to do some damage control from any traumas you may have already inflicted on your child, regardless of your intentions. If that's the case, you have a responsibility to get your kid the help they need and do everything in your power to avoid further harm. You're the adult in this situation, and if you're going to be a parent, you need to act like it.

[unluckyadept]

Flare of the Morning Star

<<—Previous——————Flare of the Morning Star——————Next—>>

PART III: LIVING NIGHTMARE

Somehow… he always knew it would come to this.

Always.

He had dared to believe that the darkness could be pushed back, and he could finally move on in his life as the sun finally began to rise at last.

Instead, he was tormented mercilessly as time pressed on, making it clear there would not be a sunrise. Not for him.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Be aware that the following themes are present in the text below.

Locked In The Dungeon

Denied Food As Punishment

A Taste of the Lash

To The Pain

Fed to the Beast (Threatened)

Rape, Pillage, and Burn (Threatened)

Forced to Watch (Threatened)

Public Execution (Intended/Attempted)

Make An Example of Them (Intended)

[He was surprised when he woke up in chains.

Not so much because of the chains themselves; more over the fact he had woken up at all.]

“…”

[He remembered the blaze of glory, the sheer power of triumph. He was destroying them, and then suddenly, after shattering their might—

Nothing.]

“…”

[Was it enough to save them from the terrors of a life under tyranny? They had spent so long preparing for that very day, and they had driven back the attack—and he had put in the strongest of measures to prevent the Tolbi Empire from just overrunning them and brutalizing the populace into submission.

Had it been enough?

He had no doubts at all that it had been worth it. Of course it was worth it. But had it been enough? That was the real question.]

“…”

[If he didn’t break free, then they would try and break him. Knowing this, however, only left him with a cold feeling of unmoved resolve.

They certainly couldn’t coerce him with threats on his life; he knew very well that—unless he escaped—there were no scenarios that ended with him surviving the ordeal. With that in mind, anything else was ultimately redundant.

They would try, but they would not succeed. They had no real power over him. What could they blackmail him with? Not his family. Not his hometown. Not Lalivero. Not Sheba. Certainly not the Grand Master Tamer, who would be unmoved if the face of torture.

He wondered what his friend would say now. He had tried to ask about this very moment, this nightmare that wasn’t breaking—but the Proxan had refused to entertain the notion.

And he supposed, upon reflection, that the answer was the same.

His duties did not change just because he was now captive to tyranny, and soon to be punished for standing up against it. No… if anything, it was all the more serious of a task, since the reward would not be of any benefit to him, and may not come to others for a long time.

He was grateful that the Teleport Lapis was with Sheba and the rest of the Alchemy artifacts were in Prox. The Sol Blade, too, was in Lalivero—he had taken the Rune Blade, as this had been meant as a scouting mission.

He was mildly surprised that he was still in his armor, but perhaps they liked the visual of an opposing general in chains. It would make sense, given how much they relied on propaganda and drama, all smoke and mirrors.]

“…”

[He found that he had no energy to use the brooch. No real energy at all, really.

Not too surprising. After what he had been put through, it really was a marvel that he was alive at all. It was to be expected that he was absolutely burned out.

Ah well. It couldn’t be said he didn’t think of it, didn’t try.

There just hadn’t been enough time.]

“…”

[Tired.

He was too tired to be angry, upset, or afraid at this point.

He had a long fight ahead of him. A battle against abject despair. He needed to fight for the will to live. Without it, he would fall.

Undoubtedly, Darzul would have a fiery motivational speech right now. Certainly, it wasn’t the end yet. He wasn’t going to put up with this for long—he would die free before surrender to tyranny, ultimately.

So this wasn’t a surrender. No.]

“…”

[He squinted against the light of the morning as sun filtered through the cell and hit his face.

Whether for good or ill, the day was only just beginning. It had started off terribly, and he knew he had a long fight ahead of him.

But this wasn’t over.

Not even close.]

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

“{So. It really IS you, after all these years.}”

“…”

[Felix kept an unmoved expression, despite the utterly humiliating circumstances.

Chains held him tightly in place against the wall, preventing him from folding his arms in.

His gloves and his cape had been taken away, leaving old scars plain to see.

Old scars that were on record. And he had to be somewhat impressed that they’d managed to figure it out so quickly, that they were able to identify him and pull his records.]

“{You’re just a real thorn in our side, aren’t you? Determined to be a criminal agitator that creates chaos in his wake. Never satisfied, are you? Well, now you’ve outlasted your luck, names aside.}”

[He gave a very unamused expression at this.]

“{Do you know what happens to murderers and agitators in Tolbi?}”

“{Vaguely.}”

“{Oh, so you CAN speak. AND in our language.}”

“…”

[The officer tapped something against his hand, giving a displeased stare.]

“{Good. It wouldn’t be nearly as meaningful if you didn’t understand what was going on.}”

[Felix gave a bitter, exhausted, and scornful grin at this.]

“{You won’t be smiling for long. You think you have some sort of victory here?}”

“{Do you really want to know?}”

“{You are incredibly impertinent.}”

“{Why waste our time if you will try and silence me at every turn?}”

“{At least you have some degree of insight.}”

[Tap. Tap.]

“…”

“…”

[There was a harsh noise as his captor suddenly lashed out—literally—and streaks of pain sliced across the left side of his face. He had unwittingly cringed and recoiled against the pain, so his shoulders and wrists were also left sore, and his sense of dignity damaged as blood ran down his face.]

“{Learn your place. You have crimes to answer for, and you will answer for them.}”

[Felix managed to give a glower to match the other man’s cold glare, the two of them growing increasingly tense in alpha domination and defiance.]

“{If you think that you do yourself any favor or flattery by continuing to defy us, you are vastly mistaken. Do not think for a moment that it will earn you any admiration or glory.}”

[He could taste the overpowering taste of iron, now, but he remained silent.

Oh, he had much to say. So much to say.

But he would wait. He would wait until he were dealing with someone worth his time.

On some level, the other man recognized this unspoken message, and it left him fuming.

This time, the lashes hit across his right forearm, and it truly burned. He gritted his teeth in the aftermath—equally out of pain as out of scorn. He glared at the other man, who was turning to leave the room.

The temptation to exert his own dominance and authority was strong. Very strong. He was not afraid to do so, not at all—

But he did want it to be worth the effort, and this man was not honorable enough for that.

He had to give a rueful laugh at this. How absolutely absurd that he hoped that he’d get a chance to deal with someone who treated him as an equal. An enemy, but an equal. How absurd, that his primary thought was injured Pride, over outrage at the very situation.

Sheba, for her part, would not be amused at this. And Ray would be “disappointed”, in a very angry way.]

({I stand by my decisions. And frankly, I’m tired of it.})

[He looked up with a sudden glare, brooding in alpha dominance.]

({It’s about TIME someone stood up to these dictatorial tyrants. I’m SICK AND TIRED of ALWAYS living in fear of them! They have been RUINING my life with fear for DECADES!})

[He drew himself up to his full height, clenching his fists and teeth tightly.]

({I’m not just going to let them take away EVERYTHING that matters! I will fight. I will fight with everything I have. I WILL FIGHT TO THE END!})

[For the first time he could remember, he was _brimming_ with anger, but not crushed with the pressure of power. He’d burned himself out, and his rage no longer drew forth energy from the world, unleashing it in raw form. Truly, he was as weak as a normal man now, if much more sturdy.

And yet, that didn’t burden him in the slightest. He didn’t feel helpless, and certainly not given to despair.

He let out a small laugh.]

({Dirty tricks in the middle of the night by a pack of brutal COWARDS who hack and BURN everything that they don’t like… that’s the EPITOME of weakness.})

[He was filled with an inner fire.]

({I expected better than such a spineless ruse. Not sure why… they don’t see us as real people, only as slaves they are entitled to work to death, to dispose of at any moment, utterly reliant on them to survive. I should have expected something so appalling and dirty.})

[He closed his eyes, wiping what he could of his face against his shoulder.]

({Well, they’ve underestimated me. Vastly underestimated me. And that will be their downfall, that they can’t even come CLOSE to matching me when I’m awake.})

[Oh yes, they were going to find out. They would find out the hard way.

For he was no whipped hound to be abused into a cowering mess—he was an wild wolf, an Alpha with the fire of dragons boiling in his core.]

({This. Isn’t. Over.})

[Felix was daydreaming in contentment about working at the forges when the sound of the door opening interrupted his peace. He opened his eyes, looking on with mild disinterest as several people walked into the room.]

“{Is it true that you understand our speech?}”

[Felix gave an unamused frown, saying nothing at first.

The conversation was starting off better than the last one had gone, but it was evident that his behavior had reached the ears of someone with more authority and power. He would have liked to think that would make them more reasonable, but he could not imagine that he would be treated any differently than he had been up to that point.]

“{I suggest you answer before your refusal to do so costs you the ability to speak at all.}”

[He gave a brief look of unmoved gravity before speaking up in a flat tone.]

“{Why?}”

[A pause at that.]

“{How do you know our speech?}”

[Felix grinned at this, smirking in amusement.]

“{I learned it from your best scholar, decades ago.}”

[This clearly came as some sort of surprise. Felix shifted his weight, leaning more casually against the wall.

It was true. Kraden had taught him how to read and write in the language of the Tolbi scholars, as Kraden himself had been. It was Garet’s mother that taught them how to read in the language of Vale—but he hadn’t paid much attention to either until after several years into his exile.]

“{This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.}”

“{Name the man.}”

[He closes his eyes and shook his head at this.]

“{I will not warn you a third time.}”

“{I have no interest in facilitating the injury of my former teacher. He’s a good man… and does not deserve to be hunted down.}”

“{If you cannot name him, then I reject your claim as a lie.}”

[Felix remained unmoved.]

“{I will not repeat myself, either. It would waste our time.}”

“{I begin to see why you were reported as a particularly haughty agitator.}”

[Felix gestured as best as he could.]

“{There isn’t much point to responding one way or another, if one won’t be permitted to finish their response to others. It wasn’t worth my time or effort to interact with someone who didn’t have the prudence to listen.}”

“{You presume much about your situation.}”

“{Do I? Just because I realize others see me as beneath them doesn’t mean I am unworthy of respect.}”

“{Respect?}”

“{Come now. When one faces their equal or superior in battle, respect is necessary in order to take them seriously as a worthy opponent. If you do not see or treat me that way, then it’s not worth your time to bother, and not worth mine to interact. Surely, as someone with many responsibilities, you can see the value of not wasting time, and the implications of devoting time from what limited amount there is.}”

“{You have done nothing worthy of respect, but you are right about one thing: my time is not to be wasted.}”

“{Pity. I should have liked the opportunity to speak with an equal.}”

“{I am superior to you.}”

“{On what grounds?}”

“{You are a prisoner, and I am a commanding officer of the greatest army in Weyard.}”

“{Hmm. So then, why are you wasting your time with a ‘mere’ prisoner?}”

“{I am not answerable to you.}”

“{Then there is nothing for us to discuss.}”

[The soldier lowered his eyelids.]

“{You act above your station, and with far too much disrespect for someone in your position.}”

“{I am willing to be respectful, but I shall not be deferential. There is a difference.}”

“{Again with the impertinence. You owe us both.}”

[Felix just shook his head in silence.]

“{Still defiant? There will be consequences for that.}”

“{Is that meant to intimidate me?}”

“{I would question your sanity, let alone intelligence, if you are truly unafraid.}”

“…”

“…”

“{We know what you are capable of. Kidnapping, blackmail, assault, arson, murder of armed and unarmed men—assassinations, even—this only adds to your list of crimes. Creatures like you aren’t even worth being called ‘men’. Such lawless barbarity is beyond that.}”

“{I am not going to waste our time responding to your accusations.}”

[A pair of spears were leveled at his throat, but he only laughed.]

“{This man is mad as well as barbaric…}”

“{You think this is the first time someone has leveled a blade to my throat? Hardly. How utterly absurd.}”

“{We’ll see how you fare when subjected to the punishment you have earned. Something tells me you won’t be full of bravado then.}”

“{Always looking for a show, aren’t you?}”

“{You really ought to take the matter more seriously.}”

“{I respect you enough to say this: if you have something to say or ask, do so. If you have something to do, please get on with it. And if not… I’d rather we not waste any more of each other’s time.}”

[The soldier seemed to think this over. As best Felix could tell, he was tempted to act on his own… but prohibited from acting freely due to not being high enough of a rank to do whatever he pleased.

Ultimately, he commanded the other soldiers to stand guard outside the cell, and left Felix in silence.

After they finally let him be, he let out a slow sigh and closed his eyes.

Maybe now wasn’t the time for daydreaming, but he was going to have to wait for a better opportunity or greater necessity. And he needed to remember why he was doing this, anyway. Why it was worth it.

Why he absolutely had to put up with whatever happened by fighting against it.]

[He wasn’t about to give up what he had. What he had earned, after so long in exile.

He had been happy, before all of this. He had been at peace, and lived in peace. His life was his own; he was his own man, and he wasn’t about to let all of that fall away.]

({If they think this is the end of it, they’ve got another thing coming.})

[Even if he were overpowered, it wouldn’t be over.

And they were in for a massive wake-up call if they thought that they could coerce him into submission.]

({This still isn’t over.})

[Daydreams turned to real dreams as the time went by.

At first, his dreams were pleasant. And perhaps that was the main reason he slept as soundly as he did.

He slept away valuable hours, only waking to the loud clatter of someone opening the cell door and—more importantly—lashing him across the face again. He didn’t really have time to react before he was hit a second time—and he only just managed to shut his eyes in time.]

“{I’ve heard a fair bit about you.}”

[He made an effort to try and return his breathing to normal as the new voice continued.]

“{Why do you think so highly of yourself? Do you not understand your situation?}”

[He raised his head, squinting through the bloody bangs that were plastered to his face.

One of the Tolbi soldiers was standing at the doorway, his hands behind his back. At his side, he carried none other than the Rune Blade—Felix’s own sword.

And he was struck with weary emptiness, thinking back on how confident he had been that _he_ would have been the one presenting his friends with the spoils of victory.]

({I’m sorry, Brandish…})

[Instead, it was his gear that would be flaunted as a prize.]

({To the victor goes the sword of the fallen.})

[Well.

He wasn’t quite fallen yet.]

“{I understand your intentions perfectly well.}”

[He raised his head, looking at the other man with an unmoved expression.]

“{I always have.}”

[He gave an empty smile.]

“{It doesn’t change the truth of what happened.}”

[The other man stepped forward.]

“{I will say this but once: surrender, or suffer the consequences.}”

“{Why would I surrender? You have no intention of letting me live either way. It’s no benefit to anyone else for me to surrender. And even if there were, I don’t trust that you’d keep your word.}”

“{For whatever reason, you chose to defend Lalivero. If you wish to have them spared, you will surrender.}”

[Felix glared.]

“{You are never going to take Venus Lighthouse.}”

“{Do you think mere mountains will stop us? It is only a matter of time before the city falls.}”

“{Your empire has been falling apart all year long. Don’t think we haven’t noticed—}”

[He was interrupted by the end of the Rune Blade being put right to his throat.]

“{I’ve heard enough. You have chosen a bitter end. Not only for yourself, but for that miserable city of cowards.}”

[Felix gave a very unimpressed expression.]

“{You’re the ones who were so desperate to terrorize a peaceful people without having to face them. Tell me, who’s the real coward? The one who stood up against a professional army to protect his family from a life of slavery, or the heavily armed soldier who ran as soon as their target started fighting back?}”

[He saw it coming, and he was faster.

Gripping the chains to hoist himself up higher, he delivered a sound kick to his captor, striking the man back with considerable force and knocking him off balance.

This only served to anger him, however—]

“{Pin him down!}”

[But Felix wasn’t at all concerned when the others held him in place, because he wasn’t done yet.]

[Felix used ECHO!]

[Before the soldier could strike, he was slammed back much more forcefully than the first time, much to the surprise and alarm of all the others present… given he hadn’t moved.]

“{I’d stop now, if I were you.}”

“{You will not live to regret that—!}”

[And Felix could sense it in the soldier, plain as day; the Life in his heart and the Death in his hands.

And feeling the chilling brutality leveled at him with complete disregard for his humanity filled him with a cold fury.

He had lived far too long playing the part of the deferential peacemaker, hiding from conflict and avoiding confrontation. Nearly two thirds of his whole life, chained to an unwillingness to stand up for himself to others who mistreated him.

And he was fed up with it.

He had been pushed around and punished for what he valued for the last time.]

[He had no hesitation at all in what he did next.]

[Felix used BANE!]

[The aggressive Djinn plowed directly into the soldier before he could strike. A dark aura of deep red consumed him, and a crippling toxicity spiked in his blood.

The blow itself had almost knocked him out entirely, but the venom that came along with it sapped his strength completely, causing him to collapse.

Of the two men restraining him further, one of them rushed over to his superior, and the other just backed away in horror.

Felix glared at them both.

Seeing one of the strongest men in Tolbi taken down so quickly did not inspire great confidence in the subordinates, and they cleared out as hastily as they could, leaving one unfortunate soul to fearfully stand guard at the door.]

“{I think I rest my case.}”

[The days passed.

He had lost all true sense of a value of time. His sense of thirst and hunger compounded, leaving a hollow void as he continued to draw energy from the earth. It was a confirmation that he was “only” unable to safely use Psynergy, but all else remained the same.

A small comfort, given how little it seemed to matter.

Time alone gave him time for thought. Too much time, really. He didn’t particularly care to stay awake; it always took less energy to stay asleep without food than awake without food.

He supposed that they had forgotten about giving him food and water when it seemed to not affect him at all; perhaps they had meant to withhold it as a means of making him weak enough to keep in hand, and realized that he could survive well enough without it.

He was certainly the least of their worries, that was for certain.]

[With all the damage he had caused, and the inability to make up for it due to a lack of sufficient resources, they would have to change their plans. They, too, had expected an easy victory; they never planned for being routed. They never thought they’d need to use so much power, let alone that it wouldn’t work. Now, they were stuck in Northern Gondowan.

They could go through the desert, perhaps, but that would be resource-intensive. (Clearly, the scouts had never returned, which told them that advancing from the south was something that would be met with resistance.) Even more so now, he had to imagine; it was said that the spirits of the desert always retaliated against those who earned their wrath, which Tolbi had done already at least once before. Going through the desert was hardly ideal.

Not impossible, but not ideal. Certainly not realistic without proper preparations, first. They may be able to hold what was left of Suhalla, but the supply chain was not fully integrated.]

[It also appeared that things were not well in the Empire; he could only assume that there were issues in the highest echelons of power. Possibly as a result of how terribly their attempted invasion had gone; he could only imagine that the failure reflected very poorly on those in charge of the affair and those who proposed it in the first place.

He really would have liked the opportunity to speak to someone who would take him seriously, but he was never given that option.

That was the worst of it all, really.

Well. That, and the crippling sense of abject despair.]

[He hadn’t felt so destitute in years. He felt utterly worthless and void of purpose; it was no small thing to be imprisoned by force by those who hated him on principle… and were eager to subject everyone else around them to suffering.

As the days went by and nothing happened, nothing changed, he began to see that even if there were any forces that would try to oppose the force stationed in the Suhalla ruins specifically, they were not successful at even coming close. It was no surprise, really; crossing the desert would surely be all but impossible, and crossing the mountains was no easy task, either. Sure, there were those who could get around those problems…

…but the fact he had actively chosen (for weeks, at the very least) to cut off Weyard from the Wilderness would prevent most of said people from trying.

And so, he could do nothing but wait.]

[He HAD considered how he might escape, but it was quite clear that he wasn’t strong enough to break free of the chains. They—along with the rest of the prison—were fairly new. (This suggested they might have been made in response to the destabilization of the region over the last few years, but that was a thought for another time.) He could call upon the power of the Djinn… but such a strategy was very risky. Using Djinn would leave him weaker, and he would need their true power to get out of a situation like his. The fraction they permitted in use of Summons was connected to the power of the Adept in question, as a means of withholding power that the Adept could not physically or respectably wield. It also had traditionally been restricted to something beyond the purely physical plane… as far as his experiences had shown, at any rate.

Granted, he had never actually tried to call upon the power of the spirits with the purpose of unleashing pure destruction. He had to suspect that it would be unwise to do so, for the spirits cared little for the conflicts of Man.]

[This left only one option he could see: taking advantage of an opportunity that finally resulted in him being freed from the shackles.

The main problem was that he couldn’t see any reason for them to do this as long as he appeared to be stronger than they could handle.

The second problem was that their possible reasons for doing so all spelled a grim picture for him. If he were to fail, he would be left in a much more vulnerable state, and possibly unable to defend himself at all.

But then again, what else could he expect? There really was no ending to this that would be a happy one.]

[Upon reflection, he considered that to be his greatest error. He’d grown overly optimistic after the last few years of happiness.

It hadn’t been a perfect happiness, to be sure, but it had been his. He had worked very hard and finally started to heal… to heal and to grow.

And he had therefore started to truly believe that it was indeed possible for him to be at peace—to be at peace, to be happy, to succeed, to be worth anything at all.

He’d had a role, once. An important role. A role that demanded sacrifice, that held people together in a time of great distress. He had protected others, he had served them.

But now?

Now he was nothing. It hadn’t been enough.

He hadn’t been wrong about his own power.

He’d just failed to foresee the depths to which tyrants would sink to obtain power.

And he would pay the price for that.]

There was one exchange, however, that stood out above all the rest, and continues even now to echo in his mind and heart.

“{So that’s it, huh? You fancy yourself to bed with the jewel of Gondowan?}”

[Felix pressed his mouth into a thin line.]

“{When we march through the city, she’ll be taken captive like all the rest. She’ll be made into the whore of the Karagol, imprisoned until her beauty has faded and she no longer satisfies for pleasurable deeds. She’ll be fed naked to beasts for all the empire to see. And who knows. A young, fit man such as yourself… perhaps we’ll do the same to you.}”

[Some of the others laughed at this, but Felix could not hide the burning rage in his eyes.

He hadn’t wanted to kill someone this badly in a long, long time. He’d wanted to instill the fear of death as soon as several years ago, but this? No. He wanted to kill the man, then and there.

He could best any one of them in open combat. And they knew it. The only way they could win was by trying to keep him chained down.

But even that would not be enough to stop him, really.]

“{Nothing to say?}”

“{Plenty.}”

“{Really now? Go on, entertain us with your laughable denial.}”

“{Denial?}”

“{Still think you have a way out of this, don’t you? You just can’t see that your time in power is over. Now, we will make sure that all those who knew you—all those who looked to you and followed your commands—are brought to swift justice and punished for sowing chaos in word and deed.}”

“{You’re taking a terribly arrogant position for someone who had to resort to cowardly ploys in order to stand a chance against a singular pair of people.}”

[That earned him a stinging lash to the face.]

“{We won, you worthless filth! You will pay the consequences for daring to attempt to obstruct our peaceful path to the Eastern Sea!}”

”Tch! {Peaceful? I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that ‘arson’ and ‘murder’ had such a strange translation in your imperial speech.}”

[Another strike.]

“{You will never walk free again. All this show you put on of having won somehow is an absolute disgrace. Not that one could expect anything else from the likes of you…}”

“{You know, repeatedly sneering a mantra of insults and threats isn’t going to change what actually happened.}”

“{By the gods, you really are that stupid, aren’t you? How did you ever end up in charge of those pathetic drones?}”

[Felix snorted at this.]

“{As if I’d tell you that story.}”

“{Well, it won’t matter. You’ll go down as the worst agitator to ever pervert the affairs of our people, the most scandalously terrible and corrupt creature to ever disgrace Weyard’s soil.}”

“{You say that as if you haven’t been slandering my name for decades.}”

“{You are responsible for terrible crimes, and you will face justice for them! Accept your defeat!}”

“{Perhaps if you had legitimately overpowered me and enslaved those I protected—in open combat—then I would be forced to admit I was not strong enough to defend them from the likes of you.}”

“{We HAVE overpowered you. Even YOU should know THAT.}”

[Felix laughed briefly at that.]

“{Are you seriously telling your men such lies for ego? Pathetic.}”

[Another strike, but it didn’t strip the grin off Felix’s face.]

“{Your so-called ‘victory’ was to prey upon a man exhausted of energy spent turning back some of the worst tyrants the modern world has ever seen—you failed to take the Lighthouse, and you failed to take the city! You have failed miserably, and your only way to counter your ruination was to seize power in the dark of night with sufficient speed as to confound those who had deterred you!}”

“{Your deranged claims are blatantly a sign of your brutish madness. Such flailings amount to nothing! You cannot stop us now; you just deluded yourself into refusing to accept the truth!}”

“{What did I just say? Repeating your lies will not change what actually happened.}”

“{And denying what happened will not change the truth! You lost. Stop wasting everyone’s time and stirring up discontent by falsely claiming you have won! You’re the one who was captured!}”

“{Temporarily.}”

“{Oh, you think you’re getting out of this? That’s rich.}”

“{I do know that you can’t hold me here forever, and you won’t be able to force me to leave.}”

“{We’ll drag you out of the city in chains if you insist on being dramatic.}”

“{And he’ll probably still be raving about his alleged ‘victory’, too…}”

“{Tell me. You set out to overtake the city and force the people into submission, correct?}”

“{Stop playing the martyr. That land belongs to the Tolbi Empire; we arranged to build the roads, to build the lighthouse—}”

“{The blasphemy that was Babi Lighthouse was torn asunder YEARS ago. Just answer the question.}”

“{We are aware of what you and that scheming woman have done to unravel the work we put into bringing the ungrateful populace into the civilized world. And that’s the first thing we’ll fix, once we get there.}”

“{Answer the question.}”

[Another strike.]

“{We set out to take back what belonged to us and bring justice to those who have acted to undermine the unity of the empire!}”

“{Right then. Your delusions aside, your goals as outlined failed miserably. Each and every one of them. You didn’t seize control, let alone with the ease and glory you had the hubris to convince yourselves would grant you absolute power. I defeated all of you AND shredded what power you were counting on using to oppress the rest of the continent into submission. Even with all your cowardly attempts to undermine, you still failed to conquer—}”

[The last thing he saw was the crazed rage in the other man’s eyes.]

Even though he managed to escape by overpowering the soldiers when they freed him from the wall as part of the process of taking him to a place of execution—further turning the ruins of Suhalla into rubble in the process of bringing down his Judgment—

The next, cold chapter of his terrible fate still awaited him.

<<—Previous——————Flare of the Morning Star——————Next—>>

[lostinafairytaleofchaos]

Are you tired of hearing about our stories? I have given you glimpses into our journeys and relationship. Today I am feeling very thankful and grateful. As always, I write from my heart. Some of this may be repetitive from previous blogs, my apologies…. 

♥♥Today I am loving love, a place of peace ♥♥

What a difference makes when you hang in there

We embarked on a friendship, moved on to more, developing an “undefined” relationship.  Continuously spending every spare moment with each other. This went on for a couple of months. Where would it lead us?

Neither intending on a romantic relationship in the beginning, merely someone to spend time with and talk to. Not realizing or knowing that after those months of sharing intimate details and very private thoughts, we would end up falling for each other.

Once I became ready for a relationship, thinking it was not possible with him, I contemplated dating others. I couldn’t see passed being with someone else. I felt like I knew him; although I really din’t. On a regular basis we were spending so much time together. How would I fit another man into my life? He had become a constant for me. I longed to see him, I couldn’t wait to touch him, I missed his smell when he was not around. Was he perfect? NO. He came with as many issues, as many as Vogue magazine. Full of emotional and abandonment issues.  Fully unpacked luggage, carrying it around for quite some time. His baggage appeared to run a little deeper, in a different manner. I would tease that he was emotionally unavailable, not realizing how deep those wounds were really running. My abandonment issues caused an independent, dissociative, wall building woman, never allowing any man that I was having “relations” with to do anything for me. In my head, I would owe them something, they would hold it over me, own me or control me somehow. Like I was a prostitute. I despised the thought that someone could be or was doing something for me just to hold it over my head or use it as a form of a payback for themselves. If you are not doing it from your heart, don’t do it at all.

Once we were steadily seeing each other, still as an “undefined” couple, mentally I became compelled to self-sabotage this relationship. I overly analyzed his past occurrences; I was obviously insecure about those based on previous discussions. I compared myself to his previous relationships. The lost child in me was in fight or flight mode. Additionally, I was being judgmental towards him. I didn’t agree with his lifestyle prior to me. I didn’t agree with his behaviors that were spewing over into our relationship. I also did not have a right to give him an ultimatum nor did I have a right to dictate who his friends were. Does that ever work out? In my past relationships, I never questioned anything, I should have. I decided because we were “undefined”, I would try not to show emotions if I were upset with him talking about his exes too much. Figuring I wasn’t the one for him and he was still in love with them. I would hide my feelings to the point of shutting down when he mentioned still being friends with many. I spent my sessions talking to my psychologist about concerns. She encouraged honest and open communication and stop self sabotaging. My friends and some family knew I was seeing someone, they didn’t agree with the relationship. My only supporter being my psychologist. She kept telling me to hold on, be patient, don’t compare him to others, he isn’t his past. Remember that we all come with a past, express my concerns. She knew in advance that he was good for me. My psychologist would always ask about us in every session (and still does). My assumptions were eating me alive and the more I found out, the more I doubted the relationship.

We did everything but talk about his feelings for me. This bothered me to the core. Where was this going?

I recall when he received the keys to his house, the first thing he did was give me a key. Insisting on my comfort there. Leaving much of the decorating to me, not wanting me to leave. I was clueless as to what any of this meant.

Then came month four, Hidden is how I felt. Barely anyone knew about me nor our still “undefined” relationship. I considered on numerous occasions yet again, cutting the relationship off. I could not bring myself to do it.

I would look at him and see hope, I saw someone that had hidden love in them, potential, someone that needed to be loved for who they really were and just needed to be themselves in many ways, accepted, much like I needed.

Every day he taught me something new, not just knowledge about politics, the world, history, but about myself. He wasn’t the social person I dreamt about; his schedule made that difficult. My small circle categorized him as being anti-social in fact. They encouraged and insisted on me to dating others. I could not rationalize nor explicate my feelings of love and frustration to them, without sounding happy yet irritated, even confused with the situation. That was such a struggle.

I recall asking him at one point how he felt about me, his response, “I like you a lot”. My thought, “asshole”. I should prepare myself to leave now. I am wasting my time. I have told you my feelings and you just like me a lot? I was on fire.

I had made the choice to be with him, to not date others (not saying he had not done the same).

Devastation hits during the end of the fourth month we discovered he was dealing with a form of blood cancer, polycythemia vera. The illness did not sway my decision to stay with him. I knew in my heart, I loved him. I was not going anywhere. He had accepted my chronic illnesses. I wanted to help him, take this away from him, make his world better. I vowed to never miss a doctor’s appointment. I became very involved with his health. His illness would not be the demise of our relationship, his actions or lack there of would be. I was at least a good friend. I was a great caretaker, it is my nature.

Somewhere during this time period,  finally I worked up the courage to express my feelings and the hurt over his statement of “liking me a lot”, holding nothing back, appearing just as a woman would appear, crazy! I clearly did not know where things stood. I don’t do subtle well. I can’t read between the lines. I mastered jumping to conclusions and assumptions. For months, I was the one openly discussing my feelings for him. I was saying “I love you”, “I am in love with you”, receiving absolutely zero reciprocation. Did he not recognize my commitment or did he not want a committed relationship? Maybe he just wanted a companion. That wasn’t for me. I began to pull away some.

I was going out more, hanging out a little bit with some old friends, trying to get my mind off of this “lack of relationship”. I knew where I wanted it to go, was it not getting there fast enough for me? I was wrong to do things I did in many ways. I was rude at times when he was nice. He encouraged me to go out, I told him who I was going with, I told him not to encourage it. I even stayed out a couple of nights. This was absolutely disrespectful, unacceptable, and irresponsible on my part. If the situation were reversed, I would not forgive it. I simply would walk out. I can admit to my faults. I know it was wrong. He didn’t hold it over my head; therefore, again I didn’t feel like he cared. This fueled my fire more. I can have a wild side, I despise it. It is destructive, impulsive, and reckless.

Then one day he said it, he loved me. Soon after he began showing it. From day one of our  friendship, every conversation started with “how was your day?” or “how was your night?”, “what are you doing today?”.

This was a different feeling, there was a difference in his actions. Those questions never ceased, he was truly invested in  wanting to know how I felt, he cared about my health, he cared about how much sleep I was getting, what I was eating properly, the amount of my activity, my stress levels, my overall well- being, people taking advantage of my time and willingness to help.

He predicted my flares before I could. He identified signs of my fatigue on days I was pushing through. We spend all free time together and honestly never bore of one another, YES, we ask each other. We are both free to have our own time, that is a given. We enjoy each others company.

We have talked about a future together. I can’t imagine a future with another. This relationship began at a slow pace and continues to slowly evolve. Many issues and concerns, I will still admit too. Including overcoming some of his past decisions, those are my issues, not his.

In a recent blog, I wrote about some things that were unsettling to me. What occurred after tolerating the behaviors related to those topics, came a vast amount of communication. Each time I believe I have let them go, there is a mention of an ex. The thoughts and frustrations come flashing back, they are embedded in my head. Each time, they become less and less irritating.

The things I love about him:

I love his snoring when we can sleep in the bed together, it soothes me. I love his smell, I love his breathing, I love how he constantly moves his feet when he is lying down, I love how he always wants to debate (not argue), I laugh it off, it is comical. His lack of understanding as to how intelligent he is. I love that he allows me to try to take care of him, while believing I haven’t a clue as to care for myself. I love that he tolerates my OCD, he laughs at me. He tolerated my paths of taking the long way around everything, because it alleviates my anxiety, it does increase his. I love that he accepts my chaotic mind and thoughts, when he just wants me to relax and be at peace. I love that he understands me or tries and sometimes pretends. I love our communication. We talk things through and work things out. I love that he wants to be a partner. I love that he is tolerant, I love that he is willing to compromises. I love that he loves me. He must by accepting my illnesses, my idiosyncrasies, my Google obsession, short lived hobbies, my attempts at cooking new things and ruining them, my budgeting attempts and lack there of, my emotions from time to time, my being “wanty” and needy for affection. I give him credit for growing throughout this year. He knows my wants and needs. He is becoming more affectionate, more attentive, geez, he pays attention to things I do not even think he is paying attention to now, other things that I may really need him to pay attention to (such as picking where we are going to eat or what we are having for dinner), not so much. He is trying, he is willing to try, he is willing to meet my needs as I am willing to meet his. This is a huge step for us both, to know what it truly feels like to be in a partnership.

Our conversations are hilarious. He makes me laugh so hard. We talk about and think about the dumbest things. If you heard some of them, you would literally believe we were in sane. We are both 90% home bodies, socially selective, kind of opinionated, outspoken, yet reserved, a little conscientious of how others may perceive us, it works. It’s our world. A world we made.

Look at the blessings gained compared to my worries! I have would have lost so much by jumping the fence during my time of skepticism. What if I would have left him for another man? That other man could have even more baggage and may not be as tolerable, patient, understanding, caring, or willing to compromise, communicate, be a true partner.

I am so glad that I continue to listen to my heart and my psychologist. I am glad I have this relationship. It feels healthy. It feels like no other. We can sit and do absolutely nothing and I am content with that. I am happy just to make him happy and he reciprocates. I have my future needs and wants. Who knows where this will lead? For now, I am just looking at our growth over a 14-month period it has it grown. He puts me first. He is not the same man that I worked with in 2010 that appeared angry and irritated, he is not the same man that I saw at that bar in 2013 who was a complete ass, he is not the same man that I began “hanging” out with in October of 2018. He is thoughtful, he is caring, he is in tune with my emotions. He is my best friend, my lover, my partner, my safe haven, my sounding board, my reasoning, my balance, my hope, my love. He is one of the easiest people I have ever lived with in my life. He is easy to be around. Our relationship is not perfect, it is growing. We are watering our garden so to speak.

So many times, we give up on love and go through life thinking that our past relationship failures should determine every relationship we come across. We think every person is the same. We become jaded, angry, insecure, skeptical, question motives. Often never taking a chance to try again, if you see hope, that is really all you need to see. The first time I talked to him, the first time I looked at him, never even thinking about a relationship with him, I saw hope. Little did I know, that hope, would bring me to this point! On the days that I thought about giving up, I also thought about what I would be giving up. I thought about what I could not live without.

So many say the first year is the “honeymoon stage”! NOT….

This first year we have faced misunderstandings, health issues on both sides, my insecurities, involvement and opinions from others, some ups and downs. We did that during those first 6-7 months. I think the “honeymoon stage” is simply bull.

I do live in my own world, openly admitting to it. I also live in reality now. In order to build and maintain a healthy relationship, both parties have to be willing to move forward together, understanding that they must accept changes as they come, whether it be in circumstances or in each other. It is simply two imperfect people learning to love each other the perfect way!

In my opinion, boyfriend/ girlfriend or marriage, if you are going to have that type of love and bond, nothing should change the building bricks. build a solid foundation, if both partners are on the same page the rest of the chapters will be written throughout time….

Don’t be afraid to love after you have been hurt.

Love is above all things the best healer

  Thanks for reading!

Please subscribe, follow and share!!

Supporting us means a tremendous deal…

You can continue to show support by purchasing Ed’s photography or our Awareness bracelets on the “Shop Here” page or by donating any amount via PayPal

The link is on the sidebar 

  Patience, Communication, Acceptance, Overcoming – Finding Hope Are you tired of hearing about our stories? I have given you glimpses into our journeys and relationship.

[josephkitchen0]

Avoiding, Recognizing, and Treating Hypothermia Symptoms

An enemy lurks in the coldest depths of the land, taking thousands of victims. But it’s not wildlife. It’s the cold itself. Recognizing hypothermia symptoms can keep you from becoming another victim.

Over 1,300 people die each year due to cold exposure. Twice as many men die as women. Victims range from hunters caught in the snow to elderly citizens living alone and symptoms can mimic those of common health conditions. Exacerbating hypothermia are diabetes, medical conditions, some medications, trauma, or drugs and alcohol. Even infants sleeping in cold bedrooms can be at risk.

Ready to Start Your Own Backyard Flock?

Get tips and tricks for starting your new flock from our chicken experts. Download your FREE guide today! YES! I want this Free Guide »

Prevention

If you avoid hypothermia symptoms, you don’t have to treat them.

Dress Warmly: This is often overlooked. A vehicle can break down in the middle of January when a short trip was intended. Young adults go camping in the late autumn, overlooking the possibility of a sudden storm or a cold night.

Choose the Right Fabrics: There’s a reason wool socks are in demand at sporting goods stores. The scratchy fabrics stay warm even when wet. Most fabrics wick heat away from the body when they get wet or sweaty, such as cotton jeans and t-shirts. Choose clothing which repels snow, rain, and wind. They keep water from invading your clothing shell and avoid the wind chill factor, which can make a temperature of 20 feel like -20.

Wear Layers: Layers come off when you get too warm and go back on when you’re cold again. Wear soft nylon stockings beneath wool socks to avoid blisters. Layer a thermal undershirt with a flannel top, then cover with a jacket or sweatshirt and a warm winter coat. Remove the coat before you start to sweat.

Protect Your Core: Frostbite rarely kills. So think about your core before your fingers and toes. Protect the heart and liver because that’s where heat is generated and where it retreats when your body is in shock. Experienced river rafters choose insulating life jackets because they know cold water plus exhaustion can kill even in the summer.

Stay Dry: Avoid the water when it’s really cold. If it rains, find shelter. And if your clothes get wet, change out of them as soon as possible.

Plan Ahead: Even tough Spartan sporting events recognize hypothermia symptoms and offer shiny silver blankets at the finish line. What is in your vehicle to insulate you if you break down? What in your house can warm you up if electricity goes out? Do you carry granola bars in your backpack? Do you know how to make candles, matches and fire starters? Or do you have a small box containing matches and fire starters, high-calorie food, and emergency blankets can save your day? Research first aid kit content lists, and their uses, then keep one kit in your vehicle and another in your house. Add a personal touch by learning how to make candles for cooking and emergency lighting.

Eat Right: The metabolic process needs fuel. High-calorie foods produce heat while protein sustains it and fat feeds the brain and nerves. Fruit-and-nut bars don’t spoil fast, are portable, and provide necessary macronutrients. Drink plenty of water to keep your metabolism working correctly and help control neurologic processes such as brain function and muscle response.

Don’t Over-Exert: Physical exertion warms you. Too much could land you in hot water. If you expend all your energy on recreation or work then can’t find shelter soon enough, you’ll have little left to maintain your body temperature. Hypothermia symptoms may mimic exhaustion, such as shivering, weakness, clumsiness, and irrational behavior.

The Buddy System: Even early hypothermia symptoms can be devastating because, by that time, the victim may not realize she is in danger or have the mindset to get to safety. During outdoor activities in cold weather, bring someone who can recognize hypothermia symptoms and know how to safely warm you up.

Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine: A shot of brandy feels warming because it dilates blood vessels, bringing heat to the skin. Keep the heat where it belongs when there’s danger of exposure. Caffeine quickens the pulse, which also dilates superficial vessels.

Photo by Shelley DeDauw

Recognition

How long does it take to get hypothermia? It depends on your environment. The body, which is normally 98.6 degrees, can drop below 96 within ten minutes when trapped in a cold lake because water conducts heat away from the body 25 times faster than air does. People with more body fat are better insulated. Even an 80-degree lake can be dangerous if a swimmer doesn’t leave the water before his body temperature drops.

Mild hypothermia is a body temperature of 89-95 degrees. Moderate is 82-89, and severe falls below 82. But because each body responds differently to cold and shock, temperatures may vary.

Cold Shock Response: Someone who drops into cold water immediately hyperventilates. For a few minutes they gasp and struggle, and can be in danger of drowning, but the response soon ends. This is not hypothermia but it’s an indication that matters can go downhill fast.

Shivering: This early symptom can happen before the body becomes hypothermic. Shivering as an involuntary response produces body heat. If you start to shiver, get out of the elements and warm up.

Apathy and Poor Judgment: Many victims succumb because brain activity slows down and nobody is around to notice. Poor judgment keeps you from seeking shelter and you may not want to take care of yourself.

Slurred Speech, Confusion, Loss of Coordination. These hypothermia symptoms can also indicate diabetic shock, exhaustion, or mental illness. Many impoverished or homeless people die each year, though symptoms would be evident to someone who recognizes them.

Gray Skin, Numbness, Clumsiness: Blood and body heat recede inward to protect the heart and other internal organs. Blood vessels constrict. Muscles cannot perform tasks. This starts as simply as difficulty tying shoelaces and extends to stumbling and falling.

Loss of Strength, Sleepiness: As the body struggles to survive, extremities stop working so the core can. The body wants to rest and recover.

Slow Pulse, Shallow Breathing: The late symptoms of hypothermia indicate that the victim needs immediate treatment because the body is shutting down.

The Core is Cold to the Touch: If the area around the heart and liver is frigid, body temperature may have dropped below 90 degrees. Shivering may also stop at this temperature.

Treatment

Consider treatment when you write your survival gear list. Include hand warmers, emergency blankets, matches, and fire starters. It’s easier to treat hypothermia if you’re prepared.

Find Shelter: Bring a cold person into a warm building. If you’re away from civilization, find a place away from wind and moisture. Even thick blankets retain heat and keep away the elements.

Remove Wet Clothing: This includes wet hats and gloves. They will steal warmth away rather than insulate.

Offer Warm Liquids: Avoid alcohol and caffeine, because both speed up heat loss. If you can, provide a drink that also supplies nourishment, such as hot cocoa or soup. Never give food or drink to an unconscious person.

Medical Attention: If you notice symptoms have gone past a chill, find medical treatment. Ambulances have warming blankets. Ski patrols even carry first aid supplies.

In Survival Situations

Heat from the Inside Out: Water heated over a campfire warms the body’s core, as long as it’s not hot enough to damage tissues.

Keep Limbs in Tight: If you cannot find shelter, curl into a fetal position. Hold your arms against your chest if you’re trapped in water.

Get Dry: Get into dry clothes as soon as possible. If you only have a blanket, remove wet clothing and attempt to dry them over a fire as you wrap yourself.

Avoid Overheating or Friction: Rubbing your hands or immersing them in hot water can do more harm than good. Warm them slowly.

Warm with Body Heat: Just as frozen fingers warm best on a friend’s cold neck, a hypothermic body warms best in contact with other skin. If you must warm someone, remove their clothing and yours. Add a third person if possible. Make a naked body sandwich, wrapped in a blanket.

Whether you’re working in the countryside or surviving in the city, recognizing hypothermia symptoms and knowing how to treat them saves lives that can be stolen away fast.

Avoiding, Recognizing, and Treating Hypothermia Symptoms was originally posted by All About Chickens

[clarencebfaber]

The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet

The GAPS Diet

When you hear the word “diet” what comes to mind?

If you’re like most people, you instantly think “weight loss.”

 However, the word “diet” actually means “a way of life”—and diets simply entail the foods we eat on the daily for our best health.

For some, the “diet” they follow actually means eating foods that help heal their body, if they are coming from a place of illness, disease or digestive distress.

“Therapeutic diets” can help one do just that.

Ever heard of GAPS diet? If not…read on about how food can be your medicine—especially if you struggle with anxiety, depression or digestive woes.

GAPS Diet 101

Back in the day, “paleo” used to be the only “real food” nutrition philosophy out there.

Fast forward to today, and we’re bombarded with all sorts of diet philosophies about “keto,” and “AIP” and “specific carbohydrate diet” and “GAPS”…But what’s the difference?

More than a weight loss approach, the above mentioned protocols are actually “therapeutic” or “healing diets”—designed to help treat disease, restore gut health 

There’s a ton of different “healthy” and “gut-healing” diet protocols.

The “GAPS” nutrition protocol—also known as “Gut & Psychology Syndrome” protocol is a dietary strategy developed by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride when she was trying to find a cure and treatment for her son with autism.

After running into wall after wall with doctors who told her that her son would always be “that way,” Campbell-McBride began to turn to “food as medicine.” 

She studied and observed the impact of certain foods on her son’s behavior and symptoms, and unbeknownst to herself at the time, began to become a leader in the “gut-brain” connection school of thought.

GAPS has become a leading a dietary treatment, designed to help individuals heal from their own struggles with neurological conditions, anxiety, digestive pathologies, autoimmune disease and general inflammation.

And the philosophy is quite simple:

Eat real food: Especially meat, fish, vegetables and healthy fats. 

The diet progresses in stages, and eliminates a greater amount of inflammatory-causing foods in the beginning in order to support gut restoration.

The ultimate goal?

Reintroduction of a wide variety of foods, a healthier brain and a happier gut. 

Win. Win. Win.

THE GAPS PROTOCOL: HOW IT WORKS

GAPS diet begins with a 6-stage “Introductory” phase that  generally takes people 3-6 weeks to complete. 

Each stage lasts about 5 days, and helps a person remove many common “trigger” foods (associated with poor gut health or brain function) in order to allow their body to heal their gut and mind, then slowly help them expand and reintroduce foods back in.

At the end of the “introductory” phase, you finally arrive to the “full GAPS diet”—which includes all the foods found here.

The primary foods GAPS eliminates throughout the entire course include those with the highest connections to gut and brain inflammation, digestive difficulties and poor brain power, including:

Dairy

Potatoes/Sweet Potatoes

Legume

Grains (rice, breads, pasta)

Sugar

Cocoa/Carob

Corn, Corn Syrup, Corn Starch

Chewing Gum

Jams/Jellies

Other food additives (carageenan, cellulose gum, MSG)

Conventional, processed deli meats and smoked meats

Soy

Some fruits* (FOS fructooligosaccharides; Pectin—like citrus, grapes, apples, plums)—*Consume in small amounts and notice if they bother you

The diet is not meant to last “forever”, but it is a therapeutic diet with the end goal to eat “in abundance.”

(Download the GAPS food list here)

A supplemental approach is often also recommended, entailing probiotics, hydrochloric acid (stomach acid), digestive enzymes and/or anti-microbial herbs to support gut healing. 

GAPS may be followed independently, but it is best guided by a skilled and knowledgeable nutrition or functional medicine practitioner, familiar with treating and supporting gut health and restoration.

Here’s an overview of what foods each of the three GAPS stages includes and eliminates:

THE GAPS DIET PROTOCOL: INTRODUCTION STAGES 1-6 PROGRESSION

Each stage is intended to last 3-5 days and allow gut and mind healing to take place.

STAGE 1: Keep it Simple

Progress to the next stage every 3-5 days, as long as your body tolerates it:

Eat in Abundance

Homemade meat stock (beef, lamb, bison, chicken, turkey, pheasant or fish)

Stew or soup made with well cooked meats or fish and well cooked vegetables and meat stock

Probiotic foods (homemade fermented vegetable juices and/or homemade fermented whey, yogurt or sour cream daily—1-2 tsp daily);

Fresh ginger tea, chamomile tea with raw honey, if desired (and not dealing with bacterial overgrowth)

Well boiled broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, onions, leeks

Baked squash, winter and summer

Boiled meats

Sea salt

Purified water*

*Start the day with a cup of still mineral or filtered water. 

STAGE 2- Eggs & Fermented Foods

Eat in Abundance

Everything in Stage 1, plus:

Raw organic egg yolks & Soft boiled eggs if no allergy to the white is suspected

Stews and casseroles made with meats and vegetables.

Increase daily amount of homemade yogurt, kefir

Sauerkraut, fermented vegetables or vegetable medley if juice was initially introduced

Fermented fish

Ghee

STAGE 3-Pancakes 

Eat in Abundance

Everything in Stages 1 & 2, plus:

Ripe avocado eaten with broth, starting with 1-3 teaspoons a day

Nutbutter* pancakes mixed with squash and eggs and cooked in fat or ghee — starting judiciously with one a day

Scrambled eggs

*Recipe below!

STAGE 4-“Bread” & Olive Oil 

Eat in Abundance

All of the above and you may add:

Freshly made vegetable juices: start with a few tablespoons of carrot juice (made with a juicer — not pureed vegetables)

Bread* made with nut flour, eggs, squash, fat, salt

Cold pressed olive oil

*Recipe below!

STAGE 5-Raw Veggies + Grilled Meat

Eat in Abundance

All of the above, plus:

Raw legal vegetables, peeled and deseeded

Fresh applesauce from cooked and pureed apples

Raw honey, up to a couple tablespoons a day (that includes any that is in baked goods)

Boiled, roasted, or grilled meat

Juiced apple, pineapple, and mango (avoid citrus)

STAGE 6-Pumpkin Muffins + Fruits

All of the above and you may add:

Peeled, raw apple

Other raw fruits may be introduced slowly

Baked goods with dried fruit as a sweetener

GAPS PROTOCOL FOOD LIST

You’ve finally arrived! 

Check out the GAPS Food download for all-you-can-eat foods, plus 3 bonus GAPS recipes .         

SUPPLEMENT SUGGESTIONS

Probiotics

Prescript Assist

Primal Defense Ultra  

Florasport by Thorne

Digestive Enzymes

Spectrazyme Complete

Transformation Enzymes

Fish Oil or Fermented Cod Liver Oil

Omega-genics

L-Glutamine Powder

Glutagenics

DISORDERED EATING?

When I first heard about the GAPS “diet,” the word “diet” had me completely turned off, with my fingers in my ears. 

“La, la, la…I don’t want to hear it…”

However, as I have learned more about it, and implemented some of the principles myself for my own gut healing, I have discovered that the use of GAPS as “medicine” can be enormously impactful for some—especially those who have tried the whole “eating healthier” approach, only to still feel like their body is at war with them.

The thing is: GAPS diet is not intended to last a lifetime.

If you’re considering experimenting, it’s crucial to keep in mind that the ultimate goal of GAPS is not restriction, but abundance—first “wiping the slate clean” for optimal healing of the gut and mind, then, adding more nourishing foods that (hopefully) your body tolerates better than before.

Think: Growth and abundant mindset…Not restrictive.

HOW DO I KNOW WHERE TO START?

Your initial state of health will determine if the full-on 6-stage approach is warranted.

People who may benefit from the FULL GAPS include those with:

Moderate-high chronic anxiety

Autism spectrum disorder

Sensory processing disorder

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Parasites in stool

Dysbiosis (disrupted gut flora)

Repeat Candida overgrowth

Chron’s

Ulcerative Colitis

Chronic Diarrhea

IBS/IBD

Bi-polar

Depression

Those who have tried “gut healing” through supplements or “clean diet” changes with no luck

If you are generally healthy, but still experience some “digestive issues” (gas, bloating, constipation, allergies, low immunity), you can benefit from GAPS too, but you may not need to go through all 6 stages.

Instead of building up for 15-20 days to more solid foods and variety, consider a 24-hour broth and juice day, then hop into Stage 4 and finish it out from there. This will thoroughly rest a semi-functioning or lagging digestive tract.

THE BOTTOM LINE

5 Core GAPS Principles

GAPS is a therapeutic diet to heal the body and mind. Use wisely.

Meat broths, fermented foods, apple cider vinegar are your BFF’s

Don’t forget to take a probiotic

Keep it simple: Simple foods. End in mind. One day at a time. 

Eat in “abundance” (not restriction). Aim to integrate and expand your diet as your body heals). 

Download your WORKSHEET here for a full GAPS food list, daily sample meal plans and ideas, and 3 exclusive recipes.

WORKSHEET

GAPS FOOD LIST    

Full GAPS Diet Food List

VEGETABLES

Artichoke

Arugula

Asparagus

Avocados

Beets

Bell Peppers

Bok Choy

Broccoli

Broccoli Rabe

Brussels Sprouts

Cabbage

Carrots

Cauliflower

Celery

Collards

Cucumbers

Eggplant

Fennel

Garlic

Green Beans

Jerusalem Artichoke

Kale

Mushrooms

Olives

Onions

Parsnip

Pumpkin

Radish

Romaine Lettuce

Seaweed

Spinach

Squash (summer and winter)

Tomatoes

Turnips

Watercress

FISH (Wild Caught only, NO Farm Raised)

Anchovies

Bass

Cod

Grouper

Haddock

Halibut

Herring

Mackerel

Mahi Mahi

Red Snapper

Salmon

Sardines

Seabass

Trout

Tuna

Walleye

NUTS AND LEGUMES (ideally sprouted or as nut butters)

Almonds (sprouted or as raw nut butter)

Brazil Nuts

Coconut (technically a drupe)

Hazelnuts

Lima Beans (soaked)

Macadamia

Navy Beans (soaked)

Pecans

Pine Nuts

Walnuts

Nut Butters

Nut flours (in moderate amounts – no more than 1/4 cup a day)

FATS / OILS

(Organic Unrefined)

Avocado Oil

Almond Oil

Butter (pastured)

Coconut Oil

Flaxseed Oil

Ghee

Hempseed Oil

Macadamia Oil

Olive Oil

Sesame Oil

Palm Oil (sustainable)

Walnut Oil

DAIRY (raw, aged and grass-fed)

Goat Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Kefir (Cultured Goat Milk) (fermented 24+ hours)

Raw Sheep Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Sheep Yogurt (fermented 24+ hours)

Raw Cows Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Raw Cows amasai, kefir and yogurt (fermented 24+ hours)

MEAT (Organic, Grass-fed)

Beef

Bison

Bone Broth

Chicken

Duck

Eggs (free-range)

Lamb

Turkey

Quail and other wild game

Venison and other wild game

FRUITS – in moderation

Apple

Apricot

Banana

Blackberries

Blueberries

Cantaloupe

Cherries

Coconuts

Figs

Grapefruit

Grapes

Kiwi

Lemon

Lime

Mango

Nectarine

Orange

Papaya

Peaches

Pears

Pineapple

Plums

Pomegranate

Raspberries

Rhubarb

Strawberries

Watermelon (no seeds)

SPICES AND HERBS

Basil

Black Pepper

Cilantro

Coriander Seeds

Cinnamon

Cumin

Dill

Fennel

Garlic

Ginger

Mint

Parsley

Peppermint

Rosemary

Sage

Sea Salt

Tarragon

Thyme

Turmeric

CONDIMENTS

Apple Cider Vinegar

Coconut Vinegar

Sea Salt

FLOURS

Coconut Flour

Almond Flour

BEVERAGES

Almond Milk

Coconut Kefir

Coconut Milk

Herbal Teas

Raw Vegetable Juices

Sparkling Water

Spring Water (or Filtered)

Wine, in moderation

SWEETENERS – in moderation

Raw Honey

Dates made into paste

SAMPLE GAPS MEAL PLAN 

*After Introductory Phase

After you’ve walked through the basic protocol, here are some ideas to begin to eat “in abundance” (again).

Pre-Breakfast

12-16 oz. Filtered Water with sea salt and lemon

Breakfast

Nut butter Pancakes with 1 Tbsp. Pure Maple

Pork Sausage  (nitrate free)

Sauerkraut 

Lunch

Chicken Salad* 

Nut-based Crackers (homemade, or store bought, like Simple Mills)

Cold Pressed Green Juice

Dinner

Herb Crusted Salmon

Roasted Rainbow Carrots

Pan-fried Greens

OTHER GAPS MEAL IDEAS: SIMPLIFIED

BREAKFASTS

Eggs Over Easy

Scrambled Eggs

Omelet

Coconut Yogurt with fruit 

Coconut Flour Pancakes

Nutbutter Pancakes (with banana or squash)

“Hash”: Ground sausage, butternut squash, greens, mushrooms, ghee

Applegate Farms Breakfast Chicken Sausages or Turkey Sausages

Homemade Sausage Patties

Ham (sugar free, nitrate free)

Bacon (no nitrates, sugar)

Smoothies with coconut milk, vanilla beef isolate protein powder, greens, banana, nut butter

Pumpkin Muffins

Coconut Flour Muffins

Carrot Muffins

LUNCHES

Meat, Veggies, Avocado

Grownup Lunchable: Turkey/Ham Roll-ups, Cooked Steamed Carrots, Primal Kitchen Ranch Dressing

Lettuce Wraps with Ground Meat, Avocado, Tomatoes, Sprouts

Butternut Squash or Acorn Squash, Ground Turkey, Coconut Butter, Greens

Greens with Meat, Olives, Olive Oil + Apple Cider Vinegar

Burger Patties, Guacamole, Crispy Brussels Sprouts

Tuna, Chicken or Salmon Salad

Nut/seed-crackers, Turkey/Ham, Grassfed Cheddar Cheese (occasional)

Hot Dogs—no nitrates

Meatballs

Baked Chicken Thighs, Summer Squash-Roasted with Avocado Oil, Greens

Nutbutter with Celery,  Fermented or Coconut Yogurt

DINNERS

Pot Roast, Veggies

Chicken Drumsticks

Homemade Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash

Cauliflower Shepherd’s Pie

Pulled pork with Sweet Onions & Meat Broth

Garlic Shrimp

Baked Salmon or Snapper with Veggies

Butternut or Acorn Squash Coconut Milk Soup

Chicken Curry over Zucchini Noodles

Roast Chicken with Roasted Beets & Asparagus

“Sloppy Joes” (meat and seasonings) over Spinach

Bacon & Eggs

Stir Fry with Coconut Aminos

Bison Beanless Chili with Coconut Flour “Cornbread”

Grass-fed Burger Patties with Carrot Fries

Fish with “Yogurt Sauce” on top (coconut yogurt) in Coconut Flour Tortillas

Grass-Fed Steak with Cauliflower Mash + Pan-fried Collard Greens

SNACKS

Beef Jerky

Hardboiled Eggs

Turkey/Ham Rollups

Pulled Chicken

Coconut Butter + Green Apple

Cucumber Tomato Salad

Raw Sprouted Nutbutter + 1/2 Banana

Carrots with Homemade Paleo Ranch or Hummus

Handful Raw, Sprouted Nuts & Seeds

Pumpkin Pancakes

Ingredients

1 cup cooked & pureed squash (like butternut, cut into chunks, & simmered in broth or water until soft)

1 cup nutbutter (such as almond)

5 eggs (yolks & whites divided)

½ tsp salt

Directions

Beat the egg whites until fluffy.

With either a food processor or an immersion blender & large bowl, blend the egg yolks, squash, nutbutter & salt until smooth.

Gently fold mixture into the egg whites until blended together.

Fry in a pan (preferably a well-seasoned cast iron griddle) over low heat. Don’t burn.

Chicken Salad

Ingredients

1 Rotisserie Chicken (or 1-2 lbs. Chicken)

1-2 Tbsp. Avocado Oil Mayo (Primal Kitchen)

Add-ins: Grapes, Celery, Cranberries, Cucumber (you choose)

Directions

Mix all ingredients until well combined.

Nut Crackers

Ingredients

2 cups blanched almond flour (not almond meal)

1 pastured-egg

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

Directions

Place almond flour, egg, salt, and pepper in a blender of food processor. 

Pulse until dough forms

Place dough between 2 pieces of parchment paper

Roll out to 1/16 inch thick, then remove top piece of parchment paper

Transfer bottom piece of parchment paper with rolled out dough onto baking sheet

Cut into 2 inch squares using a pizza cutter or a knife

Sprinkle with extra salt and pepper if desired

Bake at 350° for 12-14 minutes

Herb-Crusted Salmon

Ingredients

3-4 wild caught salmon fillets (6oz each)

2 tbsp. coconut flour

2 tablespoons fresh parsley (or dried, if you have on hand)

1.5 tablespoon olive oil

1.5 tbsp. dijon mustard

sea salt and pepper, to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Place salmon fillets on a parchment or foil lined baking sheet.

Top salmon with olive oil and dijon mustard and rub into your salmon.

In a small bowl, mix together your coconut flour, parsley, and salt and pepper.

Use a spoon to sprinkle on your toppings on your salmon and then your hand to pat into your salmon.

Place in oven for 10-15 minutes or until salmon is cooked to your preference. I cooked mine more on the medium rare side at 12 minutes.

The post The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/gut-health/the-ultimate-guide-to-the-gaps-diet/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet via https://drlaurynlax.weebly.com/

[elizabethbgrimes]

The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet

The GAPS Diet

When you hear the word “diet” what comes to mind?

If you’re like most people, you instantly think “weight loss.”

 However, the word “diet” actually means “a way of life”—and diets simply entail the foods we eat on the daily for our best health.

For some, the “diet” they follow actually means eating foods that help heal their body, if they are coming from a place of illness, disease or digestive distress.

“Therapeutic diets” can help one do just that.

Ever heard of GAPS diet? If not…read on about how food can be your medicine—especially if you struggle with anxiety, depression or digestive woes.

GAPS Diet 101

Back in the day, “paleo” used to be the only “real food” nutrition philosophy out there.

Fast forward to today, and we’re bombarded with all sorts of diet philosophies about “keto,” and “AIP” and “specific carbohydrate diet” and “GAPS”…But what’s the difference?

More than a weight loss approach, the above mentioned protocols are actually “therapeutic” or “healing diets”—designed to help treat disease, restore gut health 

There’s a ton of different “healthy” and “gut-healing” diet protocols.

The “GAPS” nutrition protocol—also known as “Gut & Psychology Syndrome” protocol is a dietary strategy developed by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride when she was trying to find a cure and treatment for her son with autism.

After running into wall after wall with doctors who told her that her son would always be “that way,” Campbell-McBride began to turn to “food as medicine.” 

She studied and observed the impact of certain foods on her son’s behavior and symptoms, and unbeknownst to herself at the time, began to become a leader in the “gut-brain” connection school of thought.

GAPS has become a leading a dietary treatment, designed to help individuals heal from their own struggles with neurological conditions, anxiety, digestive pathologies, autoimmune disease and general inflammation.

And the philosophy is quite simple:

Eat real food: Especially meat, fish, vegetables and healthy fats. 

The diet progresses in stages, and eliminates a greater amount of inflammatory-causing foods in the beginning in order to support gut restoration.

The ultimate goal?

Reintroduction of a wide variety of foods, a healthier brain and a happier gut. 

Win. Win. Win.

THE GAPS PROTOCOL: HOW IT WORKS

GAPS diet begins with a 6-stage “Introductory” phase that  generally takes people 3-6 weeks to complete. 

Each stage lasts about 5 days, and helps a person remove many common “trigger” foods (associated with poor gut health or brain function) in order to allow their body to heal their gut and mind, then slowly help them expand and reintroduce foods back in.

At the end of the “introductory” phase, you finally arrive to the “full GAPS diet”—which includes all the foods found here.

The primary foods GAPS eliminates throughout the entire course include those with the highest connections to gut and brain inflammation, digestive difficulties and poor brain power, including:

Dairy

Potatoes/Sweet Potatoes

Legume

Grains (rice, breads, pasta)

Sugar

Cocoa/Carob

Corn, Corn Syrup, Corn Starch

Chewing Gum

Jams/Jellies

Other food additives (carageenan, cellulose gum, MSG)

Conventional, processed deli meats and smoked meats

Soy

Some fruits* (FOS fructooligosaccharides; Pectin—like citrus, grapes, apples, plums)—*Consume in small amounts and notice if they bother you

The diet is not meant to last “forever”, but it is a therapeutic diet with the end goal to eat “in abundance.”

(Download the GAPS food list here)

A supplemental approach is often also recommended, entailing probiotics, hydrochloric acid (stomach acid), digestive enzymes and/or anti-microbial herbs to support gut healing. 

GAPS may be followed independently, but it is best guided by a skilled and knowledgeable nutrition or functional medicine practitioner, familiar with treating and supporting gut health and restoration.

Here’s an overview of what foods each of the three GAPS stages includes and eliminates:

THE GAPS DIET PROTOCOL: INTRODUCTION STAGES 1-6 PROGRESSION

Each stage is intended to last 3-5 days and allow gut and mind healing to take place.

STAGE 1: Keep it Simple

Progress to the next stage every 3-5 days, as long as your body tolerates it:

Eat in Abundance

Homemade meat stock (beef, lamb, bison, chicken, turkey, pheasant or fish)

Stew or soup made with well cooked meats or fish and well cooked vegetables and meat stock

Probiotic foods (homemade fermented vegetable juices and/or homemade fermented whey, yogurt or sour cream daily—1-2 tsp daily);

Fresh ginger tea, chamomile tea with raw honey, if desired (and not dealing with bacterial overgrowth)

Well boiled broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, onions, leeks

Baked squash, winter and summer

Boiled meats

Sea salt

Purified water*

*Start the day with a cup of still mineral or filtered water. 

STAGE 2- Eggs & Fermented Foods

Eat in Abundance

Everything in Stage 1, plus:

Raw organic egg yolks & Soft boiled eggs if no allergy to the white is suspected

Stews and casseroles made with meats and vegetables.

Increase daily amount of homemade yogurt, kefir

Sauerkraut, fermented vegetables or vegetable medley if juice was initially introduced

Fermented fish

Ghee

STAGE 3-Pancakes 

Eat in Abundance

Everything in Stages 1 & 2, plus:

Ripe avocado eaten with broth, starting with 1-3 teaspoons a day

Nutbutter* pancakes mixed with squash and eggs and cooked in fat or ghee — starting judiciously with one a day

Scrambled eggs

*Recipe below!

STAGE 4-“Bread” & Olive Oil 

Eat in Abundance

All of the above and you may add:

Freshly made vegetable juices: start with a few tablespoons of carrot juice (made with a juicer — not pureed vegetables)

Bread* made with nut flour, eggs, squash, fat, salt

Cold pressed olive oil

*Recipe below!

STAGE 5-Raw Veggies + Grilled Meat

Eat in Abundance

All of the above, plus:

Raw legal vegetables, peeled and deseeded

Fresh applesauce from cooked and pureed apples

Raw honey, up to a couple tablespoons a day (that includes any that is in baked goods)

Boiled, roasted, or grilled meat

Juiced apple, pineapple, and mango (avoid citrus)

STAGE 6-Pumpkin Muffins + Fruits

All of the above and you may add:

Peeled, raw apple

Other raw fruits may be introduced slowly

Baked goods with dried fruit as a sweetener

GAPS PROTOCOL FOOD LIST

You’ve finally arrived! 

Check out the GAPS Food download for all-you-can-eat foods, plus 3 bonus GAPS recipes .         

SUPPLEMENT SUGGESTIONS

Probiotics

Prescript Assist

Primal Defense Ultra  

Florasport by Thorne

Digestive Enzymes

Spectrazyme Complete

Transformation Enzymes

Fish Oil or Fermented Cod Liver Oil

Omega-genics

L-Glutamine Powder

Glutagenics

DISORDERED EATING?

When I first heard about the GAPS “diet,” the word “diet” had me completely turned off, with my fingers in my ears. 

“La, la, la…I don’t want to hear it…”

However, as I have learned more about it, and implemented some of the principles myself for my own gut healing, I have discovered that the use of GAPS as “medicine” can be enormously impactful for some—especially those who have tried the whole “eating healthier” approach, only to still feel like their body is at war with them.

The thing is: GAPS diet is not intended to last a lifetime.

If you’re considering experimenting, it’s crucial to keep in mind that the ultimate goal of GAPS is not restriction, but abundance—first “wiping the slate clean” for optimal healing of the gut and mind, then, adding more nourishing foods that (hopefully) your body tolerates better than before.

Think: Growth and abundant mindset…Not restrictive.

HOW DO I KNOW WHERE TO START?

Your initial state of health will determine if the full-on 6-stage approach is warranted.

People who may benefit from the FULL GAPS include those with:

Moderate-high chronic anxiety

Autism spectrum disorder

Sensory processing disorder

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Parasites in stool

Dysbiosis (disrupted gut flora)

Repeat Candida overgrowth

Chron’s

Ulcerative Colitis

Chronic Diarrhea

IBS/IBD

Bi-polar

Depression

Those who have tried “gut healing” through supplements or “clean diet” changes with no luck

If you are generally healthy, but still experience some “digestive issues” (gas, bloating, constipation, allergies, low immunity), you can benefit from GAPS too, but you may not need to go through all 6 stages.

Instead of building up for 15-20 days to more solid foods and variety, consider a 24-hour broth and juice day, then hop into Stage 4 and finish it out from there. This will thoroughly rest a semi-functioning or lagging digestive tract.

THE BOTTOM LINE

5 Core GAPS Principles

GAPS is a therapeutic diet to heal the body and mind. Use wisely.

Meat broths, fermented foods, apple cider vinegar are your BFF’s

Don’t forget to take a probiotic

Keep it simple: Simple foods. End in mind. One day at a time. 

Eat in “abundance” (not restriction). Aim to integrate and expand your diet as your body heals). 

Download your WORKSHEET here for a full GAPS food list, daily sample meal plans and ideas, and 3 exclusive recipes.

WORKSHEET

GAPS FOOD LIST    

Full GAPS Diet Food List

VEGETABLES

Artichoke

Arugula

Asparagus

Avocados

Beets

Bell Peppers

Bok Choy

Broccoli

Broccoli Rabe

Brussels Sprouts

Cabbage

Carrots

Cauliflower

Celery

Collards

Cucumbers

Eggplant

Fennel

Garlic

Green Beans

Jerusalem Artichoke

Kale

Mushrooms

Olives

Onions

Parsnip

Pumpkin

Radish

Romaine Lettuce

Seaweed

Spinach

Squash (summer and winter)

Tomatoes

Turnips

Watercress

FISH (Wild Caught only, NO Farm Raised)

Anchovies

Bass

Cod

Grouper

Haddock

Halibut

Herring

Mackerel

Mahi Mahi

Red Snapper

Salmon

Sardines

Seabass

Trout

Tuna

Walleye

NUTS AND LEGUMES (ideally sprouted or as nut butters)

Almonds (sprouted or as raw nut butter)

Brazil Nuts

Coconut (technically a drupe)

Hazelnuts

Lima Beans (soaked)

Macadamia

Navy Beans (soaked)

Pecans

Pine Nuts

Walnuts

Nut Butters

Nut flours (in moderate amounts – no more than 1/4 cup a day)

FATS / OILS

(Organic Unrefined)

Avocado Oil

Almond Oil

Butter (pastured)

Coconut Oil

Flaxseed Oil

Ghee

Hempseed Oil

Macadamia Oil

Olive Oil

Sesame Oil

Palm Oil (sustainable)

Walnut Oil

DAIRY (raw, aged and grass-fed)

Goat Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Kefir (Cultured Goat Milk) (fermented 24+ hours)

Raw Sheep Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Sheep Yogurt (fermented 24+ hours)

Raw Cows Cheese (aged 60+ days)

Raw Cows amasai, kefir and yogurt (fermented 24+ hours)

MEAT (Organic, Grass-fed)

Beef

Bison

Bone Broth

Chicken

Duck

Eggs (free-range)

Lamb

Turkey

Quail and other wild game

Venison and other wild game

FRUITS – in moderation

Apple

Apricot

Banana

Blackberries

Blueberries

Cantaloupe

Cherries

Coconuts

Figs

Grapefruit

Grapes

Kiwi

Lemon

Lime

Mango

Nectarine

Orange

Papaya

Peaches

Pears

Pineapple

Plums

Pomegranate

Raspberries

Rhubarb

Strawberries

Watermelon (no seeds)

SPICES AND HERBS

Basil

Black Pepper

Cilantro

Coriander Seeds

Cinnamon

Cumin

Dill

Fennel

Garlic

Ginger

Mint

Parsley

Peppermint

Rosemary

Sage

Sea Salt

Tarragon

Thyme

Turmeric

CONDIMENTS

Apple Cider Vinegar

Coconut Vinegar

Sea Salt

FLOURS

Coconut Flour

Almond Flour

BEVERAGES

Almond Milk

Coconut Kefir

Coconut Milk

Herbal Teas

Raw Vegetable Juices

Sparkling Water

Spring Water (or Filtered)

Wine, in moderation

SWEETENERS – in moderation

Raw Honey

Dates made into paste

SAMPLE GAPS MEAL PLAN 

*After Introductory Phase

After you’ve walked through the basic protocol, here are some ideas to begin to eat “in abundance” (again).

Pre-Breakfast

12-16 oz. Filtered Water with sea salt and lemon

Breakfast

Nut butter Pancakes with 1 Tbsp. Pure Maple

Pork Sausage  (nitrate free)

Sauerkraut 

Lunch

Chicken Salad* 

Nut-based Crackers (homemade, or store bought, like Simple Mills)

Cold Pressed Green Juice

Dinner

Herb Crusted Salmon

Roasted Rainbow Carrots

Pan-fried Greens

OTHER GAPS MEAL IDEAS: SIMPLIFIED

BREAKFASTS

Eggs Over Easy

Scrambled Eggs

Omelet

Coconut Yogurt with fruit 

Coconut Flour Pancakes

Nutbutter Pancakes (with banana or squash)

“Hash”: Ground sausage, butternut squash, greens, mushrooms, ghee

Applegate Farms Breakfast Chicken Sausages or Turkey Sausages

Homemade Sausage Patties

Ham (sugar free, nitrate free)

Bacon (no nitrates, sugar)

Smoothies with coconut milk, vanilla beef isolate protein powder, greens, banana, nut butter

Pumpkin Muffins

Coconut Flour Muffins

Carrot Muffins

LUNCHES

Meat, Veggies, Avocado

Grownup Lunchable: Turkey/Ham Roll-ups, Cooked Steamed Carrots, Primal Kitchen Ranch Dressing

Lettuce Wraps with Ground Meat, Avocado, Tomatoes, Sprouts

Butternut Squash or Acorn Squash, Ground Turkey, Coconut Butter, Greens

Greens with Meat, Olives, Olive Oil + Apple Cider Vinegar

Burger Patties, Guacamole, Crispy Brussels Sprouts

Tuna, Chicken or Salmon Salad

Nut/seed-crackers, Turkey/Ham, Grassfed Cheddar Cheese (occasional)

Hot Dogs—no nitrates

Meatballs

Baked Chicken Thighs, Summer Squash-Roasted with Avocado Oil, Greens

Nutbutter with Celery,  Fermented or Coconut Yogurt

DINNERS

Pot Roast, Veggies

Chicken Drumsticks

Homemade Meatballs with Spaghetti Squash

Cauliflower Shepherd’s Pie

Pulled pork with Sweet Onions & Meat Broth

Garlic Shrimp

Baked Salmon or Snapper with Veggies

Butternut or Acorn Squash Coconut Milk Soup

Chicken Curry over Zucchini Noodles

Roast Chicken with Roasted Beets & Asparagus

“Sloppy Joes” (meat and seasonings) over Spinach

Bacon & Eggs

Stir Fry with Coconut Aminos

Bison Beanless Chili with Coconut Flour “Cornbread”

Grass-fed Burger Patties with Carrot Fries

Fish with “Yogurt Sauce” on top (coconut yogurt) in Coconut Flour Tortillas

Grass-Fed Steak with Cauliflower Mash + Pan-fried Collard Greens

SNACKS

Beef Jerky

Hardboiled Eggs

Turkey/Ham Rollups

Pulled Chicken

Coconut Butter + Green Apple

Cucumber Tomato Salad

Raw Sprouted Nutbutter + 1/2 Banana

Carrots with Homemade Paleo Ranch or Hummus

Handful Raw, Sprouted Nuts & Seeds

Pumpkin Pancakes

Ingredients

1 cup cooked & pureed squash (like butternut, cut into chunks, & simmered in broth or water until soft)

1 cup nutbutter (such as almond)

5 eggs (yolks & whites divided)

½ tsp salt

Directions

Beat the egg whites until fluffy.

With either a food processor or an immersion blender & large bowl, blend the egg yolks, squash, nutbutter & salt until smooth.

Gently fold mixture into the egg whites until blended together.

Fry in a pan (preferably a well-seasoned cast iron griddle) over low heat. Don’t burn.

Chicken Salad

Ingredients

1 Rotisserie Chicken (or 1-2 lbs. Chicken)

1-2 Tbsp. Avocado Oil Mayo (Primal Kitchen)

Add-ins: Grapes, Celery, Cranberries, Cucumber (you choose)

Directions

Mix all ingredients until well combined.

Nut Crackers

Ingredients

2 cups blanched almond flour (not almond meal)

1 pastured-egg

1/2 tsp sea salt

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

Directions

Place almond flour, egg, salt, and pepper in a blender of food processor. 

Pulse until dough forms

Place dough between 2 pieces of parchment paper

Roll out to 1/16 inch thick, then remove top piece of parchment paper

Transfer bottom piece of parchment paper with rolled out dough onto baking sheet

Cut into 2 inch squares using a pizza cutter or a knife

Sprinkle with extra salt and pepper if desired

Bake at 350° for 12-14 minutes

Herb-Crusted Salmon

Ingredients

3-4 wild caught salmon fillets (6oz each)

2 tbsp. coconut flour

2 tablespoons fresh parsley (or dried, if you have on hand)

1.5 tablespoon olive oil

1.5 tbsp. dijon mustard

sea salt and pepper, to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Place salmon fillets on a parchment or foil lined baking sheet.

Top salmon with olive oil and dijon mustard and rub into your salmon.

In a small bowl, mix together your coconut flour, parsley, and salt and pepper.

Use a spoon to sprinkle on your toppings on your salmon and then your hand to pat into your salmon.

Place in oven for 10-15 minutes or until salmon is cooked to your preference. I cooked mine more on the medium rare side at 12 minutes.

The post The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/gut-health/the-ultimate-guide-to-the-gaps-diet/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/ The Ultimate Guide to the GAPS Diet via https://drlaurynlax.blogspot.com/

[moralitybug]

/Doc./ “Heart Beat Debate”

So just yesterday I was sorting thorough some old documents I saved, & I came across one titled “Heart Beat Debate.” Looking into it, I realized that these were questions & answers I saved from a youtube thread, with a man who didn’t agree with my pro-life views or the pro-life video i commented on.

At some point, he came out & asked me 25+ questions on what/why I believed as a pro-lifer. So why don’t I put out the majority of the questions. It might promote understanding for both sides (The pro-life & pro-choice/abortive)...

Part 1

Do you believe that a person who supports capital punishment stands in opposition to the "*pro-life*" principle of the sanctity of human life? Why or why not?

1)capital punishment: Yes. When boiled down to the raw center of the pro-life view (so raw, it's no longer specific to abortion only), these two views do collide. Personal View: People adopt and prioritize more then on raw views. This is why we have pro-lifers who make exceptions for death, whether isn't in defense, capital punishment, war, or abortions (as well as pro-abortionists who don't always support abortion 100%). This doesn't mean those views are compatible, it just means that people are complicated.

 Do you support exceptions for abortions done in the cases of rape, incest, and life of the mother? Why or why not?

3) Exceptions: Rape: Pro-life morals say no. I also say no. Rape is souly the fault of the rapist, not the fault of the mother (victim) or the unborn child. In fact, the child isn't even alive during the time of the rape, as conception (the earliest point to be considered alive) doesn't occur until hours after intercourse if it happens at all. Food for thought: If we are going to kill anyone (justly) why are we going for the child but letting the rapist get away? ...Incest is also a no, for the movement and for me. Like in the case of rape, no matter what the conditions that bring a child fourth, "a person's a person, no matter how small."... Incest also has the interesting factor that, it isn't uncommon for the perpetrators to use abortion (for or against the woman's will) to hide that they are being sexually abused. Pregnancy would be proof of incest, so they abort to not get caught and to continue the abuse.... Life of the mother is often said to be tricky, but when looking through the pro-life view, it really is not. Pro-life, as I said, means basically that we want life. We want the mother to life, and we want the baby to live. So if the unborn is being intentionally killed for the mother, that's as bad as if the mother was intentionally for the baby. So in this case, decisions must be made that are not intended to kill either, even though the risks of these procedures COULD cause death to the child. It's like swimming out to save a drowning woman/ not swimming out in time to save the baby VS. Swimming out to save the woman/ swimming out and drowning the baby. And the thing about these cases is, if the child is not intentionally killed, then it's not seen as abortion, even though, in the end, the child did die.

Do you understand the difference between an embryo, zygote, and a fetus?

4) EmZyFe: I do.

Do you understand the moral justification for euthanasia? Do you support a parents right to make health care decisions on behalf of their child, especially if that child is terminally ill? Do you believe that if a fetus is discovered to be non-viable (missing vital organs and/or exhibiting irregular development) the parent should be forced to carry the pregnancy to term, and the infant should be forced to endure a slow and painful death?

6) euthanasia: I can understand moral justifications, and I can also understand moral objections which, I side with... The movement & I support parent making decisions as long as it does intentionally lead to the child's death.

For this last question, I see a lot of presumption based on "force." As there are equally amounts of parents who chose to carry their pregnancies with these facts, and there are babies who don't experience a "slow, painful" as they live out their short days, I am inclined to neutralize the question by excluding the word "force." (Summarized) Should parents carry out a pregnancy when they know their baby is going to die (even if the death is painful)?

The Pro-life view says yes. Honoring the dignity of life, the view states that every person has the right to live (and not have their life stripped from them) until they come to a natural death. My personal opinion: If you are so worried about your child succumbing to death, then how does a forced death solve that problem? Honestly, as a woman who hopes to carry a child one day, I would find better piece of mind knowing that my body provided 9 months of pure love and life (that they couldn't sustain on their own). Then if they lived longer, they gain the benefits of, well, living. They lived in hope. Hope that they would live longer, stronger, and loved, VS. the loss of hope that caused the end of their live....

[Counter Question: Do you understand the moral objections to euthanasia? Do you support a parents right to make health care decisions on behalf of their born terminally ill child, especially if that decision leads to a slow and painful recovery?]

Do you understand the difference between fertilization, implantation, and conception?

8) fert/imp/conc: Yes, the differences and the similarities.

 Given that certain behaviors such as smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol can greatly increase the likelihood of a miscarriage occurring (taking into special consideration miscarriages that occur after "conception" but before implantation) should it be illegal for women to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol if they are sexually active? Why or why not? If a woman who smokes cigarettes or drinks alcohol while pregnant miscarries, should she be charged with negligent homicide? How would the government legislate or enforce such a law? What about women who didn't or don't know that they are pregnant?

11) behaviors: This is a very "ethnics" evoking questions. Spurred from my inspired personal view, let's see if I can answer these. Illegal if sexually active? No, first off, because not all sexual activity, during all times of the month leads straight to pregnancy. There are more variables then that. As is for the next questions. There are certainly grounds for negligent homicide, but will the government do so, and enforce them? who knows. The main difference here between the argument we have been having in this questions is as different as miscarriage and abortions. In both cases a life is lost, one is intentional, one is not. As far as the pro-life core goes, as long as you register that in both cases, a life is lost, and that it's a tragedy (not a right, or a desired result, or meaningless/casual) then the Pro-life view prevails . 

Are you familiar with the statistics behind the number of abortions performed annually, separated by term/gestation, age of mother, marital status of mother, and financial security of mother/family? 

12) statistics: As my mind in particular has issues holding numbers, I would have to look them up to be exact (can do if need be). However, I can give you general fact implying what the #s would look like. (Maternal age is around college and early career developing ages. Marital status: more single women have abortions then single women who keep, but there is also a very large number of married women as they are starting their careers, some still young, or otherwise stressed.)

Are you familiar with the social factors that facilitate adolescent delinquency, drug use, and criminality and their correlation to poverty and unplanned, unwanted pregnancies? 

13) social factors: I am. I can also explain how this is a cycle that does not end with abortion access.

[Counter Question: Are you familiar with social factors that facilitate success, and their correlation with underdog successes and abortion potential?]

Do you understand the significance of contraception and education in preventing unwanted pregnancies? 

14) significance: I understand the importance of education, however I find contraception to be very troublesome as it often halts the education process. "Take a pill, that's all you need to know." Not how it works, not how you work (on and off the pill), not the risk factors or benefits, etc.

[Rewrite] Can you definitively determine when “life” begins? How do you define “life?” [Rewrite?] 

16) life: I can. Life is present when the [7] scientific criteria for life is met. For a human being, this is generally at the time of conception. Not all pro-lifers know of this concept, but it is a persistent fact none the less. I will be stating these from the point of conception (scientists don't do this, but hey, if all the criteria apply at conception, then they apply until death.) 1) Composed of cell[s]. Yes. 2) Different levels of organization. Yes, you don't have to be mutli-cellular to achieve this. 3) Use energy. Mhmm 4) Grows. Yip. 5) Reproduce. actually, yes, even as a zygote. Obviously humans reproduce sexually.... 99% of the time. However, when at a cellular level, with as few as one cell, the unborn can potentially reproduce asexually... this leads to identical twins. 6)Respond to environment. Yip, it implants itself in the uterus when it encounters it. Another interesting fact is that, if a mother has a heart attack, it is not uncommon for the unborn to send stem-cells to heal her heart as early as implantation. 7) Respond to stimuli. An interesting fact as well is that the first thing a zygote does after it's conceived, is that it hardens it's cellular walls so that no more sperm can get in. (which could be devastating &/or fatal to this new life). It defines it's internal self (which it maintained there forth for the rest of it's life) from the outside world.... This is life.

Can you definitively determine when “personhood” begins? Are there any specific requirements for “personhood,” and if so, what are they? How does a zygote or embryo fulfill these requirements? 

18) personhood: This is an interesting concept as well. Many describe it as a social construct, brought on by the gov, to determine who qualifies for gov benefits. Generally, (and according to the government, even in Roe vs. Wade) the rule is that personhood applies to any living human being. Considering, as I've shown, life begins at conception, personhood thus begins at conception. So that's a yes. There are many arguments to try and fight personhood within the womb, but that would take far to long to cover.

[Rewrite?] Can you definitively determine when “consciousness" or "*sentience*” begin? How do you prove “consciousness" or "*sentience*?” [Rewrite?] Can your definitions of “life,” “consciousness,” "*sentience*,” or “personhood” be applied to other animals?

19) consciousness: Not sure. as far as the pro-life movement and I are concerned, the unborn are living people... so consciousness is a speculation point, that doesn't change or determine the dignity of life or who gets it.

[Counter Question: Can you determine when "life" begins? Define what life is? Explain what/why personhood, consciousness, and sentience determines the presence or absence of life? How do you prove it?]

Do you eat meat? 

20) animals: Some have all of these factors, some animals don't, all have life (except for pet rocks). Some humans have/had these factors, some don't/didn't... but animals are not people, and the qualities you have listed don't make a person. So yes, I do eat meat (one of my complexities that doesn't offend the Sanctity of Human Life). But I am not killing or eating people, (Mr. Gosnell)

[Counter Question: Do animals meet you're qualifications for human life? Is there a difference between animal life and human life? Do you eat meat, and is it because of your views on abortion?]

Is determining and mandating a particular life philosophy a legitimate role of government?

21) gov role: As I think about it, I have to say yes. Our gov is founded on determining and mandating philosophies (Remember the philosophies of life, liberty, & pursuit of happiness? They determine and mandate that.) As for the issue at hand, if the gov wanted to retract it's role, it would have to make abortion neither legal, not illegal. Neither supporting, nor disapproving anyone on their abortion stances.

Is determining and mandating a particular moral code, especially one informed by a specific religious ideology, a legitimate role of government? If the government were to pass such legislation, wouldn't it constitute as a violation of the 1st amendment rights of other people? Why should the moral convictions held by a single individual or specific religious group, be used by the government to determine the legality of the solicitation and provision of certain goods and services in such a way so as to place limitations upon all individuals to freely exercise ownership over their body and control all of it's functions, especially considering that morality is subjective? 

22) moral code: I could go in so many different directions... First off, as I've portrayed this is more then religious/moral code.... But let's go this route... It sounds like you think the gov is picking and pulling laws only out of their religious censored brains. Yes and no. Gov is supposed to be uniting people of vastly different verities, so no matter what is passed to law, someone is going to be upset. So how does the gov decide on anything? It depend on who is voted in. If someone is voted in that's pro-abortion (regardless of if the voters voted religiously or not) then that person is allowed to assume that they may act in a pro-abortion manner, and vise versa an so forth. As for restricting, by law, something based on religion/morals... well, let's go this way. Mercy killings: morally sound in some religions, morally incorrect in others. So if the gov prohibits mercy killings, it follows X's religious moral, if it approves, it follows Y's religious moral. So if you take beliefs, moral, religion, etc. out of every federal decision you will either have a) a lawless land, OR b) laws that are in some way associated with some style of belief/religion. Because, furthermore, morals can reflect justice can reflect morals.... Lastly, as I explained, there are two lives/two bodies. Of a mother and child. In the case of abortion, to allow abortion is to allow ownership but also allow death. To deny abortion is to deny a portion of ownership but allow life.... I side with life, you sound like you side with ownership... aren't our moral codes funny?

[Counter Question: Do you believe that government is overreaching it's boundaries? Wouldn't government legal support of any view, even pro-abortion views, violate other people's beliefs, expressions (first amendment), and the bodily anonymity of the pre-born? Why/Why not? ]

In in-vitro fertilization eggs and sperm are harvested from parents, fertilized, and left to grow into blastocysts in a nutrient rich solution over a period of time. Often a single cell is then taken from the blastocyst to test for genetic abnormalities. Typically, the fertilized eggs that are not chosen for implantation are frozen for future use. If a fertilized egg is considered to be equivalent to a person, with full personhood rights, under what condition is it ever okay to amputate up to ⅛ of a person's physical body and detain them in a freezer for an indefinite amount of time without their consent? 

23)in-vitro: It is never okay. Not in the case of adults, women, men, children... Not even in the case individuals conceived in in-vetro fertilization.

[Counter Question: Can YOU think of an example (aside from in-vetro) where it ever okay to amputate up to ⅛ of a person's physical body and detain them in a freezer for an indefinite amount of time without their consent?]

Do you feel that political grandstanding on issues that are certain to fail (ones that lack a necessary supermajority), especially ones that have been ruled on by the Supreme Court, a pragmatic use of taxpayer money? 

24) grandstanding: I do, so I am confident that Roe vs. Wade is reaching it's end. If you recall, Roe vs. Wade was passed by the Supreme Court... relying heavily on the 14th amendment... And even Mizz.McCorvey ("Jane Roe") abandoned her stance on abortion... so there's a shake in that "supermajority."

[Counter Question: Do you feel that political grandstanding on issues that are certain to fail (ones that lack a necessary supermajority), especially ones that have been ruled on by the Supreme Court, a pragmatic use of taxpayer money? e.g. Roe vs. Wade]

e.g. Citizens United, Brown v. Board Taking into consideration the national debt, how do you rationalize and/or justify abandoning the principle of fiscal conservatism in favor of endorsing an ideological agenda, especially one based largely on religious conviction, that is often used by politicians to hijack government functioning and delay the legislative process thereby creating unnecessary political gridlock? 

25)rationalize: There's not really a connection between most of the concepts you present... First off, the only intention of the pro-life movement when "hijacking" is to advance the recognition and care of life (man, woman, and child).... If the gridlock is so unnecessary, then why doesn't the abortion side give up? Probably because it endorses an ideological agenda based on belief too.... The unborn, as of present, have even less of a damaging effect on the national debt and tax issues then illegal immigrants do... and I'm rooting for reform in immigration, not the death of them.

[Counter Question: (Your question returned to you) Taking into consideration the national debt, how do you rationalize and/or justify abandoning the principle of fiscal conservatism in favor of endorsing an ideological agenda (specifically unobstructed abortion access), especially one based largely on beliefs, that is often used by politicians to hijack government functioning and delay the legislative process thereby creating unnecessary political gridlock?]

Do you believe that some of the more recent bills passed in State legislatures, such as Texas' mandatory sonogram law, are consistent with conservative principles of small and limited government? Do government mandated medical protocol exemplify government overreach or does the government have a legitimate role in micro-managing doctor-patient relationships through strict regulations? 

26) medical gov: I'm going for gov overseeing medical regulations. It keeps facilities clean, doctors honest and patients informed.

[Counter Question: What are your true views on government and it's maintenance of our country? How does this change when the government is supporting pro-abortion legislation? How does it change when the government is supporting pro-life legislation? ]

Do you realize that the historical alternative to abortion was infanticide? Are you aware that prohibitory legislative policies are largely ineffective and strengthen the black market? 

27) infanticide: infanticide is not nearly as historic as you portray. Not only is it still being done to post-born children around the world (and even occasionally within our boarders, despite legal abortions) it is also being done widely to pre-born children. Infant is a non-specific term, not commonly used for pre-borns, but not specific to newborns either. As for the laws and black market, you will have to be more clear.

Are you aware that in places where abortion services are outlawed or difficult to access the maternal mortality rate is substantially higher than in places where abortion services are legal and easily accessible? Do you understand the concepts of individual sovereignty, and self-ownership? 

28) outlawed: I do. I also know that in these places you refer to, hospitals and other medical treatment is not easily accessible [in general]. A tragedy either way, this loss of life.

Does the 9th amendment, which guarantees individual rights not enumerated in the constitution, implicitly include the right of the individual to control the functions of their body through any means of the individuals choosing? 

29) 9th amendment: I can understand the concepts, as well as their counterarguments (which I side with). No it wouldn't, because in the Declaration of Independence (written before the constitution) it is stated that all have the inalienable right to LIFE (notice how this comes first), liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So this knocks the 9th amendment out, because this right is already enumerated.

[2centsofsilver]

7/16/17

Major Realizations While High Last Night- Dear Self, You were given the unique opportunity to experience the journey of life for itself; an experimental journey. That’s the intended product in itself. You are on an incessantly driven back-stage path, seeking something you’ve been constantly unable to attain through reaching out to people - both new and old - both friends and professionals, trained to love, trained to help - You have ‘fucked up’ countless friendships just by needing help during times of crises. A close friend recently suggested how fucked up that is in itself- ‘Why is Katie still not getting the help she’s seeking?’ She referenced the Catch 22: Having crisis, reach out to friend for help, too much dependence on friend, friend backs off, this worries Katie, Katie fears abandonment, now Katie is worrying, on top of original crisis, making desperate attempts to save a friendship or relationship, or just digging a very deep hole by constantly trying to ‘fix’ situations that may or may not have happened yet or ended negatively. Now that Katie is working triple time on getting through her crisis, seeking help for her crisis, and desperately trying to save a crumbling friendship, the friend keeps straying, and Katie keeps reaching out for help, still not getting help for original crisis, getting worse and worse, severely depressed and anxious saving a friendship just because she needed emotional support to begin with. She suddenly is conquering multiple heavy battles at once, followed by the inevitable loss of either a very good solid friend, or a potentially good friend, who Katie trusted. While high, you had the unique opportunity to evaluate yourself with precise clarity. For a moment on the kayak in the middle of the lake at night, you sat back and wondered, “What am I seeking exactly?” This was met with very deep and comprehensive internal dialogue between high self, real self, deep self, surface level self, sane self, insane self, etc. You came to the consensus that what you’re seeking is a space needing to be filled: a gratification in some way, but of what? A void, emptiness, hole of isolation needing to be filled, loved, or satisfied. What would/does that satisfaction involve or include? What would qualify, assuming you got it? -Physical contact: A touch, basic hug from a friend, sex, massage, holding of the hand when scared, a pat on the back for doing a good job, physical reassurance, the idea of a friend actually ‘rescuing’ you during an emotional breakdown by holding/soothing you actually happening in real life- actually coming true, not just something you envision and wish for, reinforced by the constant ongoing lack thereof -Real life or written, deep conversation with a close friend (or any person who you feel connected to emotionally; someone you feel similar to or who you can trust); a conversation touching on heavy topics such as purpose of life, fear of death, how to be a person, how to function in society, and verbal reassurance that things will be okay, that you’re okay -People/friends who won’t (don’t want to and have no intentions of) leaving you. Not because you’re desperate and holding on, but because they actually want to get to  know everything you are. A closeness that forms and remains. A reciprocal relationship. Someone willing to commit to kindness and acceptance of you as someone who struggles sometimes with life, especially the social aspects of life. Someone who sees the good in you for MORE than your depression, more than your anxiety, more than your mental health disorders. They see your interests, your passions, your desire to help others in every way you can, your desire to make a true difference in this world and fight for social justice every waking hour, an artist who cares about people and life and abstract concepts and potential, a friend willing to be there for anyone and offer shared support. -Proof that dreams come true and goals can be attained. Seeing progress to foster motivation to keep going. Examples: Fitness/nutrition for the weightloss dream, conquering social phobia, becoming a published author, teaching at the front of a room, dancing, biking, jogging, kayaking, finding and being the TRUE you shamelessly and confidently, swirling in the sunlight like a gypsy with a free soul and spirit. You want proof in some way that you are capable of attaining these things. If you see it working and others are helping you, you are more inclined to continue. -External pride from friends and family; the validation that you are a good person trying hard in this world and conquering obstacles day in and day out. Just someone saying “I’m really proud of you,” means the world. It feels good. The reassurance that you are meeting expectations and doing ok according to… according to what? (Hmm.) This leads me onto the big thoughts and realizations on the lake… I thought to myself, “What are you seeking, Katie?” met with “Gratification” met with “Instant Gratification,” followed by an interesting question I’ve never asked myself before: “Why instant? Why does that gratification need to come immediately?”  This led me down a new train of thoughts involving life as an experience, not a final result I’m trying to get to asap. It led me to thoughts involving friendships taking time to develop. It led me to thoughts on letting go of the fear of abandonment, and instead, letting in the possibility of people really liking you for who you are, mental disorder or no mental disorder. It led me toward an internal battle though, about whether I should continue to expose my mental disorders to people at all, or hide them, in an effort for people to see other parts of me and want to know me because they think those other parts of me are cool and worth it (because I think they are). But the battle is… me firmly believing in reduction of mental health stigma/marginalization, etc. in my passion and line of social work, that fight for justice and understanding and education of mental health, normalizing dialogue, and promoting awareness of diversity. So I don’t actually believe in hiding them and encourage others to open up if they’re comfortable doing so. In other words, I would be betraying what I strongly believe and am working toward for others. Additionally, I argued in my head that good true friends should love me no matter what and that I shouldn’t need to hide my mental health struggles in efforts to make or keep friends. I personally don’t really trust people who say they’ve never experienced anxiety or can’t relate to mental health disorders in any capacity, whether from personal experience or just a core/basic understanding of its common existence. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that. They are rare, but I’ve encountered them. I’m never comfortable and it doesn’t end up working out. So why would I want to conform to someone I personally wouldn’t seek out in a friend? In my head I battled various voices of all the different parts of me mixed with my conscience, which has always sort of stood alone, but been there for me it seems. Bickering thoughts such as, “Just stop opening up to people. No one wants to hear about it. No one appreciates you being so needy. No one actually likes you and you’re a huge failure at life. But you have to be yourself! People will and can like you with or without mental illness. But you also have so many other parts of you. Expose those parts and only those parts. Don’t let anyone see your mental illness ever, especially when you move. You have to make friends. You need to, you want to. BUT THE PROBLEM IS: You fucking STRUGGLE making friends BECAUSE you have social anxiety disorder and depression. These struggles are embedded into your day to day life, choices, behaviors, cognitive processes, social exchanges, goals, and identity searching. Your problems aren’t YOU, but they are a part of you, so zipping your lips and forcing yourself to not show them is not only impossible, but also sheer misery; a real kind of hell, thus fostering continued awful depression.  This entire thought process was happening simultaneously next to me being high on a kayak in the middle of a dark lake at night with 2 new, amazing friends. I kept drifting away and battling poor inhibition control in being able to filter my speech. This is how I described it to G. I woke up in an extremely comfortable bed overlooking the lake and I was subtly crying soft tears.  9:14am “I had a million life realizations and moments when high that made me happy, but I woke up teary eyed and still am. I’m borderline crying if I let myself right now. Life is so hard every single day all day. It’s too hard. Being high, life isn’t hard, it’s easy. People are nice to you and take care of you. And they make sure you’re okay. And if you’re not and you open your mouth and say something neither of you judged me or left. Whereas I’m constantly fucking up everything in my daily life with my friends. Whenever I open my mouth I ruin everything with everyone. No one likes me or wants anything to do with me, but when I was high I felt like it was ok if I was sad or scared and could voice it and it was met with a positive response. That just doesn’t happen in my normal life ever.All I do is annoy everyone and they constantly leave. And it’s also just hard, like life is hard. Like why should I be struggling so much in normal life when I can just glide? It was peaceful on the lake. A happiness I’ve never experienced. Didn’t know it could be that good, and since it can, can’t I just do this all the time to experience the ease and appreciation for it? Like what would really be wrong with that? The only thing is I could easily mess up when high because I found it EXTREMELY hard to hold everything in. I really wanted to just pour everything out but you guys would have thought I was crazy like everyone else in waking life. I felt like I was in heaven and Ferris reminded me of Sunshine. And I felt like even if I died it would be ok since last night I slipped away and things were ok. But now I’m back and it’s too hard. If there’s a way to achieve that level of peace and bliss in regular life, I want in. But I don’t know how to attain that? Is it really a bad problem to have…? Like I get that society says it is and we aren’t supposed to be high all the time, but can’t we just convert the world to be easy like this? Like why aren’t we allowed to. Why are we forced to legit suffer. If life has potential to be easy then why are we like forced to put ourselves through misery day in and day out? I wouldn’t be able to be productive though or even want to be. Like I’m just talking we glide through life without all the stupid shit we have to do. Like why are we expected to do so much shit? I don’t want to go to U of M anymore, I sorta just want to do this. I’m worried I now will want to all the time.” I then went to a fun dog show with G and when I drove back to Kzoo I had more realizations and messaged them to her at 5:17pm. “I feel like I need to be high all the time. Cried on the way home slightly, so many realizations. Like freaking out bad about Ann Arbor and life and friends.” G: “It will be alright. And you shouldn’t. I think if you had done more you might have had more of a panic attack. You were getting kind of melancholy. I can see how you could easily go into panic attack territory if you were with the wrong people.”  Me: “Yeah, I actually was thinking about and analyzing this the entire drive home. It’s just so interesting. I’m curious how I seemed to you guys like how I came off? Was I melancholy more than just towards the end talking about L? I remember that.  The people I did it with in the past I believe were in it for themselves and pissed when they realized it wasn’t gonna be a good time. And didn’t know how to calm me the hell down besides telling me to knock it off which made it worse. I really appreciated and enjoyed doing it with you and J. Like I felt really safe and protected. Like what was I doing and how did I seem? Really really curious if it was how I actually felt. Because I was holding a lot in. It was really interesting, a constant struggle actually. Like I really want to try and explain this to either you or J if you’re open to it, but I don’t want to be annoying.” G: “You seemed slightly on edge for parts of it, but not too bad. Also the only ‘weird’ things you were doing were asking if you were being weird haha, everything else was all in your head :)” Me: “What do you mean by on edge? :Lmao. That’s funny. I kept feeling like I was about to annoy people even if I attempted to speak.” G: “Like on the edge of starting to panic. I know what you mean. The worst part about that is worrying too much about being annoying ends up being more annoying than just talking haha. I have totally been there.” Me: “But I had no control/ability to not want to say things. Like I kept having really fucking strong ass urges to talk a LOT. But I kept telling myself, ‘If you do that, you will lose friends because no one wants to hear about the shit you have to say or they’ll think you’re worth less’ and every single time I had something to say/wanted to say something.. it was something driven by panic. Like every single time and it was a constant need to talk. And I’m shocked that I was able to completely zip my lips and not let myself talk because that is so hard to do when I’m high. But I knew the type of things I’d start doing and saying. I have a tendency to always vocalize how I’m feeling about shit and I really wanted to vocalize things happening in my head or all around me or what I was scared ofbecause I totally was scared. But anytime I started talking, I immediately sounded like I was someone no one would ever want anything to do with. And time felt off, like really strange. So I had no idea how long I’d been talking about or thinking about any one thing. And I also didn’t know what I was doing a lot of the time. Like I felt aware, but also felt dead? Or completely out of it? So I was never sure what I was doing and was scared I’d intentionally go drown myselfbecause I accidentally didn’t know what the hell was happening.  So if I opened my mouth to talk about something, I had no idea if you wanted to even hear about it, how long I’d been talking about it, whether I was decreasing the chances of holding you as friends, because I wasn’t sure if I’d been doing it for hours or a normal amount of time or not at all. And in my head I just kept 

Continue quoting Talk ABOUT night & being accepted. Simultaneously happening next to me drifting Zipping lips Back to point: seeking What you seek is seeking you.

[josephkitchen0]

Avoiding, Recognizing, and Treating Hypothermia Symptoms

An enemy lurks in the coldest depths of the land, taking thousands of victims. But it’s not wildlife. It’s the cold itself. Recognizing hypothermia symptoms can keep you from becoming another victim.

Over 1,300 people die each year due to cold exposure. Twice as many men die as women. Victims range from hunters caught in the snow to elderly citizens living alone and symptoms can mimic those of common health conditions. Exacerbating hypothermia are diabetes, medical conditions, some medications, trauma, or drugs and alcohol. Even infants sleeping in cold bedrooms can be at risk.

Ice Storms, Power Outages, Blizzards... Are you ready?

Let our experts help you prepare for the worst. Start your emergency preparation by downloading this FREE Guide. YES! I want this Free Report »

Prevention

If you avoid hypothermia symptoms, you don’t have to treat them.

Dress Warmly: This is often overlooked. A vehicle can break down in the middle of January when a short trip was intended. Young adults go camping in the late autumn, overlooking the possibility of a sudden storm or a cold night.

Choose the Right Fabrics: There’s a reason wool socks are in demand at sporting goods stores. The scratchy fabrics stay warm even when wet. Most fabrics wick heat away from the body when they get wet or sweaty, such as cotton jeans and t-shirts. Choose clothing which repels snow, rain, and wind. They keep water from invading your clothing shell and avoid the wind chill factor, which can make a temperature of 20 feel like -20.

Wear Layers: Layers come off when you get too warm and go back on when you’re cold again. Wear soft nylon stockings beneath wool socks to avoid blisters. Layer a thermal undershirt with a flannel top, then cover with a jacket or sweatshirt and a warm winter coat. Remove the coat before you start to sweat.

Protect Your Core: Frostbite rarely kills. So think about your core before your fingers and toes. Protect the heart and liver because that’s where heat is generated and where it retreats when your body is in shock. Experienced river rafters choose insulating life jackets because they know cold water plus exhaustion can kill even in the summer.

Stay Dry: Avoid the water when it’s really cold. If it rains, find shelter. And if your clothes get wet, change out of them as soon as possible.

Plan Ahead: Even tough Spartan sporting events recognize hypothermia symptoms and offer shiny silver blankets at the finish line. What is in your vehicle to insulate you if you break down? What in your house can warm you up if electricity goes out? Do you carry granola bars in your backpack? Do you know how to make candles, matches and fire starters? Or do you have a small box containing matches and fire starters, high-calorie food, and emergency blankets can save your day? Research first aid kit content lists, and their uses, then keep one kit in your vehicle and another in your house. Add a personal touch by learning how to make candles for cooking and emergency lighting.

Eat Right: The metabolic process needs fuel. High-calorie foods produce heat while protein sustains it and fat feeds the brain and nerves. Fruit-and-nut bars don’t spoil fast, are portable, and provide necessary macronutrients. Drink plenty of water to keep your metabolism working correctly and help control neurologic processes such as brain function and muscle response.

Don’t Over-Exert: Physical exertion warms you. Too much could land you in hot water. If you expend all your energy on recreation or work then can’t find shelter soon enough, you’ll have little left to maintain your body temperature. Hypothermia symptoms may mimic exhaustion, such as shivering, weakness, clumsiness, and irrational behavior.

The Buddy System: Even early hypothermia symptoms can be devastating because, by that time, the victim may not realize she is in danger or have the mindset to get to safety. During outdoor activities in cold weather, bring someone who can recognize hypothermia symptoms and know how to safely warm you up.

Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine: A shot of brandy feels warming because it dilates blood vessels, bringing heat to the skin. Keep the heat where it belongs when there’s danger of exposure. Caffeine quickens the pulse, which also dilates superficial vessels.

Photo by Shelley DeDauw

Recognition

How long does it take to get hypothermia? It depends on your environment. The body, which is normally 98.6 degrees, can drop below 96 within ten minutes when trapped in a cold lake because water conducts heat away from the body 25 times faster than air does. People with more body fat are better insulated. Even an 80-degree lake can be dangerous if a swimmer doesn’t leave the water before his body temperature drops.

Mild hypothermia is a body temperature of 89-95 degrees. Moderate is 82-89, and severe falls below 82. But because each body responds differently to cold and shock, temperatures may vary.

Cold Shock Response: Someone who drops into cold water immediately hyperventilates. For a few minutes they gasp and struggle, and can be in danger of drowning, but the response soon ends. This is not hypothermia but it’s an indication that matters can go downhill fast.

Shivering: This early symptom can happen before the body becomes hypothermic. Shivering as an involuntary response produces body heat. If you start to shiver, get out of the elements and warm up.

Apathy and Poor Judgment: Many victims succumb because brain activity slows down and nobody is around to notice. Poor judgment keeps you from seeking shelter and you may not want to take care of yourself.

Slurred Speech, Confusion, Loss of Coordination. These hypothermia symptoms can also indicate diabetic shock, exhaustion, or mental illness. Many impoverished or homeless people die each year, though symptoms would be evident to someone who recognizes them.

Gray Skin, Numbness, Clumsiness: Blood and body heat recede inward to protect the heart and other internal organs. Blood vessels constrict. Muscles cannot perform tasks. This starts as simply as difficulty tying shoelaces and extends to stumbling and falling.

Loss of Strength, Sleepiness: As the body struggles to survive, extremities stop working so the core can. The body wants to rest and recover.

Slow Pulse, Shallow Breathing: The late symptoms of hypothermia indicate that the victim needs immediate treatment because the body is shutting down.

The Core is Cold to the Touch: If the area around the heart and liver is frigid, body temperature may have dropped below 90 degrees. Shivering may also stop at this temperature.

Treatment

Consider treatment when you write your survival gear list. Include hand warmers, emergency blankets, matches, and fire starters. It’s easier to treat hypothermia if you’re prepared.

Find Shelter: Bring a cold person into a warm building. If you’re away from civilization, find a place away from wind and moisture. Even thick blankets retain heat and keep away the elements.

Remove Wet Clothing: This includes wet hats and gloves. They will steal warmth away rather than insulate.

Offer Warm Liquids: Avoid alcohol and caffeine, because both speed up heat loss. If you can, provide a drink that also supplies nourishment, such as hot cocoa or soup. Never give food or drink to an unconscious person.

Medical Attention: If you notice symptoms have gone past a chill, find medical treatment. Ambulances have warming blankets. Ski patrols even carry first aid supplies.

In Survival Situations

Heat from the Inside Out: Water heated over a campfire warms the body’s core, as long as it’s not hot enough to damage tissues.

Keep Limbs in Tight: If you cannot find shelter, curl into a fetal position. Hold your arms against your chest if you’re trapped in water.

Get Dry: Get into dry clothes as soon as possible. If you only have a blanket, remove wet clothing and attempt to dry them over a fire as you wrap yourself.

Avoid Overheating or Friction: Rubbing your hands or immersing them in hot water can do more harm than good. Warm them slowly.

Warm with Body Heat: Just as frozen fingers warm best on a friend’s cold neck, a hypothermic body warms best in contact with other skin. If you must warm someone, remove their clothing and yours. Add a third person if possible. Make a naked body sandwich, wrapped in a blanket.

Whether you’re working in the countryside or surviving in the city, recognizing hypothermia symptoms and knowing how to treat them saves lives that can be stolen away fast.

Avoiding, Recognizing, and Treating Hypothermia Symptoms was originally posted by All About Chickens