#The two probably start brainstorming together and coming to the wrong conclusions

[a-beneficial-union]

I've written myself into a bot of a corner here. As it stands, Vulp-ens have two sets of most vital organs (lungs, heart valves, etctera) but drastically different immuno responses. Or rather, different severities of responses.

When a human's body tries to remove and kill off a contaminant, it raises its internal temperature above what viruses and bacteria can withstand. It also reduces overall system functions to divert resources and mass produces mucous to trap invaders and protect areas which might be otherwise exposed to external substances (such as the air in our esophaguses).

Midland Vulps do all of those, but their fevers reach higher temperatures (as fungi are a much bigger problem on Vulpin) and their mucous contains toxins intended to (1) more quickly kill off contagions (2) dissuade other organisms from trying to take a bite of them while ill. (Imagine if trees could snap you up if they thought you were easy pickin's; that's about what we're dealing with here.)

The problem is that those aforesaid temperatures would exceed human limits, with 103 degrees Fahrenheit being the average for a fever. If the Vulp systems catch a low grade fever, would this serve as a high grade infection for the rest of the body?

In the fic I've been tinkering with on-and-off, Work's In Progress, a combination of stress, willful sleep deprivation, mild malnutrition, menstruation, and consistent overworking causes Ren to get sick mid-fic, as it was originally supposed to be a slice of life story wherein Ren copes while being systemically disallowed from proper recovery (the Plumbers weren’t designed to accommodate chronic fatigue and Ren's learned to just fix things themself).

I do not know how sickness would work for them. I do not know if I should give them a high grade fever (by human terms); a lopsided sickness effecting their Vulp systems directly and the rest inadvertently; or if they should have some method to manage the extreme departures such that it doesn’t damage their human systems. Each would be portrayed very differently, especially since spoiler spoiler spoiler.

(Just kidding, Ren was volunteered for medical/psycnological observation by the Saturdays before they get sick, it was one of the things that was stressing them out. The Saturdays are well intentioned but wholly unprepared for the inner workings of the Plumbers, assuming instead that the leader with the supernaturally powerful offspring (grandchild) would behave similarly to themselves (familial/supportive rather than exploitative).)

(Ren is compliant with the Saturdays because they know it wouldn’t end well if they declined after having been volunteered by Max. For the Saturdays, this was originally a matter of networking; trying to get some business relationships in with the Alien departments given that their jobs occasionally overlaps. For the Plumbers and Galvans, this is part of a continuing political stunt on several fronts. (1) It reinforces that they have control over their potentially temperamental bioweapon (Ren/Omnitrix), (2) it signals that they surely care about this living person whom they certainly don't exploit as a scapegoat/lab rat, and (3) it functions as legal protection regarding Ren's functionality (healthy human versus machine versus dysfunctional animal).)

[icharchivist]

more da4 stuff are coming out and i hadn't blocked the spoilers tag yet bc the warning was that there'll be more spoilers on the 19Th, but last article by IGN actually revealed two things i really wanted to see in game by myself and i'm so mad kdjfhdjkfhd

i blocked the tag now so at least i should be able to avoid more but boooo

but about those things bc i want to discuss them:

so far it was a theory that Lucanis was possessed by a demon but the latest video just confirmed it and i'm. so sad they did so.

but they also confirmed which type of demons which is a win for me bc i've been brainstorming it for a while.

Because the tarot card showed Pride Demon and it boggled my mind because Lucanis is NOT prideful. he's only arrogant to provoke his marks. And, on the other hand, he's not particularly wise. In fact he's the opposite of wise this man fucking tore open the Veil to get revenge and then went "idk it seemed like a plan, anyway yolo YOU told me to do that", this man behaves on instincts not on wisdom.

To me, if spirit was possessing Lucanis (which was strongly hinted at from his new powers, his skillsets, the fact he's believed dead and probably did actually die!), it should be a spirit of Justice/a demon of Vengeance, because Lucanis is DEADSET on vengeance even though it's not his job. He derails his job completely because he's motivated by vengeance for people who were wronged by Ambrose.

But then again we never truly saw what type of shape a Justice/Vengeance spirit would take, since we only met one possessing other people's body. It also felt wrong to me to have this again considering how close it would have been from the Anders/Justice plotline from daoa and da2 (with Justice first possessing a dead person and him being twisted to vengeance once he gets into Anders).

So my conclusion was Justice/Vengeance unless it's a new spirit we've never heard of that is adjacent to that.

WELL the latest video seems to reveal that Lucanis is possessed by a Demon of Spite.

Which. Well. Close enough????

But also it means Lucanis very likely died or almost died and was saved by a spirit of Spite (probably because Lucanis is waaaays too comfortable using spirits to start with but that's a post for another time i have so many thoughts about Lucanis, magic, and spirits) which is why he's alive. The screenshot i've seen implies that Lucanis is trying to keep Spite from being too active, trying not to trigger it, and i wonder if the stolen glances with Emmrich in particular is a set up to how Emmrich, used to gently handling spirits who bind themselves to corpses, would help him navigate this situation.

BUT the best part to me is that it means Lucanis SURVIVED OUT OF SPITE. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING YOU CAN SAY ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER HELLO. HE LITERALLY SURVIVED OUT OF SPITE.

I already love him so much it keeps adding i'll never be safe.

The other spoiler i've seen is that we're definitely seeing Felassan again and i'm so excited for that, but i wish I'd been surprised about it in game. He's a book-only character, from The Masked Empire, and there's only one line that refers to him in Trespasser ("His friend had to die. Because he thought they were people. A slow arrow breaks in the sad wolf's jaws."), but we know Felassan was someone important to Solas and that the end of TME still haunts him, so it was logical that in the Lighthouse/Crossroads, that will be filled with Solas' memories, we'll see more about Felassan, but i was worried they may ignore him all together because he IS a book only character, no matter how beloved he is. I'm relieved they're actually showing him, but MAN i can just imagine how i'd have screamed if i saw he was there in game. wasted.

Anyway now i blacklisted everything and i reread The Wigmaker's Job and The Wake the other day, and i have thoughts, i've written half a post about it and then got too lazy to do the rest, so stay up for that one i guess.

But ghhhh. So good.

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you have a crush on college student renjun so you make use of your best lamest flirting attempts and surprisingly they work?!

pairing: renjun x gn!reader

genre: college!au, romance, pure fluff

warnings: very lame jokes, mentions of a cruel prank in the past (someone asking out renjun as a joke, pls never do that to people!), lots of awkwardness & sweetness, a bit of swearing, reader has an obsession with renjun’s pretty hands

word count: 4.7k

It had been a while since you had a crush so strong you even had a hard time focusing in class. Usually, you were a very good student, diligently taking notes and participating when the professor asked questions. But that was until you saw Renjun for the first time. 

It was like something possessed you and suddenly you couldn't think about anything else but his pretty, gentle face, his angelic voice and his lovely hands always drawing something in his notebook. It certainly didn't help much that you were seated right next to him during your shared lectures. It most certainly didn't help that you forgot all your vocabulary when you were in his immediate vicinity. Usually, your teachers and friends described you as well-spoken and eloquent, always knowing the right thing to say. 

But that was, of course, until Renjun. All words disappeared from your poor brain whenever he was around. And it's not like you didn't want to talk to him, get to know him better. But you physically couldn't bring yourself to form a coherent sentence. You kept telling yourself it was just a silly crush and it would pass in time. But the more time passed, the stronger you felt the need to do something about your feelings. Naturally, you couldn't speak, but there was still something you could do. Something you probably did best. Write.

So one day, after what felt like an eternity of yearning, you finally gathered the courage to act on your emotions. Taking a small sheet of paper out of your notebook, you wrote a little something. It was probably super lame but apparently, even your writing skills were affected by your crush on him. As soon as your "masterpiece" was done, you slid it towards Renjun before you could chicken out and change your mind about this whole thing. The note had the following text:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your drawings are almost As pretty as you. P.S. Key word: almost ;)

The second he spotted the little note which was folded in a hurry, he opened it curiously. Once he read its insides, you could hear him snort under his breath. Was it that bad? You couldn't help but worry. Then, he took his own pen and started writing something under it. That was a good sign, right? You were feeling hopeful. Once he was done, he slid the paper towards you. You opened it in a rush. His response was:

Hey! Are you bullying my art?!?

You looked at him in confusion. How could he have possibly misunderstood? However, he was too focused on multitasking (drawing most of the time and occasionally taking notes based on the lecture) to spot your reaction. You decided you had no choice but to be as explicit as possible and wrote another note:

Nooo, I meant to compliment both you and your art, sorry if it came off wrong and lame :(

When he received it, you could swear you saw him smiling a little, which made your heart melt. How was he so beautiful? Soon enough, his reply came:

That's alright, I'm just teasing...Also, it worked.

You couldn't believe it. It worked? You'd successfully grabbed his attention by using this first-grade flirting method in college? You were suddenly feeling brave and kept writing. It was too late to turn back time.

I just think you're really pretty and cool especially when you draw but I was too hesitant to talk to you directly...

When he read your most recent note, he even gave you a look of disbelief, which you couldn't interpret until you saw his response:

Cool? Wow, that's a first...And it's ok, I don't bite.

You chuckled quietly and suddenly noticed that class was ending soon. You couldn't wait until tomorrow so you hurriedly wrote the content of your next note:

What do I have to do to get your number?

Renjun shook his head in amusement and this time, his reply came quicker than before:

*number enclosed* Here, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You could hear the lecturer saying his words of conclusion and you hurried to respond via another note, because you couldn't trust your voice to actually speak to Renjun. Not yet, at least. So, you wrote:

Thank you!!! Here is mine: *number enclosed*

And just as he received your final note, the students around you started gathering their things. You simply looked at Renjun and you still couldn't believe he'd actually replied to your silly flirting and even gave you his number! You waved him goodbye like a lovesick fool and practically ran outside of the lecture hall. Stage fright whomst? Try having a crush on the prettiest boy in the world.

After you went back home, you debated calling Renjun. Eventually, you talked yourself out of it. What if you said something stupid and embarrassing? With texting, you could at least have more time to think things through before sending them. Actually speaking to him seemed too terrifying a task to accomplish. So, you texted him excitedly and your heart did a back-flip when he replied. Was it strange that you already missed him, even though it had only been a couple of hours since you last saw him? Naturally, you couldn't tell him that, it would probably freak him out. So, you settled for texting (for the time being).

Renjun: Why did you run away after class?

You: I was too nervous to speak to you, I'm sorry!!!

Renjun: That's strange, I see you talking to your friends all the time...Am I so scary?!?

You: Nooo, you're not scary, I'm just being an idiot 😔

Renjun: Top of the class does not equal idiot but I'll let it slide this time

You: Thank you for your generosity!

Renjun: What are you up to?

You: Probably gonna work on that assignment for next week

You: Sorry, I'm so boring 😔

Renjun: First of all, you don't have to apologize so much, you did nothing wrong

Renjun: Second of all, saaame. We can brainstorm together if you want?

You: Sorry, I'll stop. Oops, I did it again. Pretend you didn't see it.

You: Also omg, yes pls, that would be great!

And that is how your friendship with Renjun started. Texting on your phones and exchanging notes during class lasted a week until you finally decided to ask him out. Again, via text, because you were feeling too shy to speak to him. The only other contact you'd had was waving at each other. And it's not like he spoke to you, either. There were two explanations for that: 1) he chose to respect your decision or 2) he was possibly just as shy as you were. Whatever the reason, you thought this could not go on forever so you managed to find the bravery to propose a date.

You: Do you wanna go out with me? 👉🥺👈 

Renjun: Sure, where do you wanna go?

You: Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get this far lol

You: Where do YOU wanna go?

Renjun: Hmm, there's this new art gallery I've been meaning to visit...if that's okay with you

You: Anything is good with me as long as I get to see your pretty face

Renjun: What

You: I said you're pretty

Renjun: Shut up, oh my God...

You: Do you want me to stop?

Renjun: Say that again

You: You're pretty

Renjun: 😳😳😳

Renjun: I can't wait to see you again

You: Same here

Once you got to the front of the art gallery, it struck you how strange it was that you would speak to Renjun for the first time ever. You mentally braced yourself as you awaited his arrival anxiously. Your nails were digging into the inside of your hands and you were terrified you'd pierce holes through your own skin. You told yourself this was silly, you had no reason to be so nervous. Renjun was a total sweetheart and he obviously liked talking...well, writing to you. You needn't worry that much, you kept repeating in your mind. You were too busy hyping yourself up to notice him approaching behind you. Too busy to be prepared for what came next.

"Hiii," Renjun greeted you with a surprise back hug.

"Oh dear," you jumped in shock as you turned around.

"Did I scare you, angel?"

Shit. Already with the pet names? How were you supposed to survive?

"No, it's fine," you waved him off, trying to play it cool. "Isn't it weird this is the first time we're actually speaking to each other?"

"Um...kinda," Renjun scratched the back of his head. "But I like it, it's what makes this so special."

"Wow, you sure do have a way with words," you chuckled.

"Shall we go inside?" he suggested.

"Yes, please."

As you looked around the art gallery, you kept pointing excitedly at the paintings, while Renjun was quietly evaluating them and telling you interesting stories about the artists. You couldn't help but be amazed by how attractive he was as he exhibited his knowledge. And of course, you couldn't help but wonder at how he was so much more beautiful than all the art you've ever seen. Naturally, you wouldn't tell him that. First of all, because it was too lame to speak aloud. Second of all, because your voice would undoubtedly betray you and crack or something even more embarrassing. As time passed, you were surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, despite your previous concerns. Renjun was very polite and soft-mannered and he made you feel comfortable, while the two of you looked at the paintings and discussed them. Once you'd seen everything, you were starting to feel a bit bummed out that your lovely date was coming to an end. When you were outside the art gallery, you impulsively asked:

"Can I walk you home?"

"I mean...sure. On one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to walk you home next time."

"There'll be a next time?" you whispered hopefully.

"I hope I don't sound presumptuous if I share my observation we both had a wonderful time."

"That's perfectly alright. Your observation is correct," you admitted.

"I live just around the corner, though. You really don't have to-"

"But I want to."

"So do I," Renjun said and the two of you began walking towards his home.

"I was wondering about something...You already know I didn't speak to you because I was feeling shy, but why didn't you? I have two theories, but I'm curious which one is more on point."

"Do tell and I'll try my best to enlighten you," he joked.

"Okay, so theory number one is you were being respectful of my wish not to talk yet. Theory number two is that you're just as shy as I am."

Renjun laughed and you could swear this was the sweetest sound in the entire universe.

"Am I so transparent? Honestly, it's a little bit of both. But there's another part you didn't guess. But it's too embarrassing."

"Come on, tell meee! It can't be more embarrassing than my lame attempts to flirt with you."

Renjun smiled gently.

"Well, to be honest, I couldn't believe you thought I was cool and pretty...I even feared this was some sort of prank. It wouldn't be the first time someone decided to mess with me like that."

"Renjun, are you serious? I don't understand why anyone would...Scratch that, whoever messed with you didn't deserve even a fraction of your attention. I meant every word I said. I really like you...and your paintings. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it aloud earlier. You genuinely deserve to hear nice things more."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he blinked cutely. "But enough about me. I never told you...how beautiful you are. How kind and smart."

"I know," you waved him off teasingly. "But coming from you, this means a lot."

Renjun shook his head, amused by your words.

"We should go somewhere you like next time. Maybe a bookshop?" he suggested.

"Am I so transparent?" you repeated his words. "But sure, yeah. That sounds nice."

"Well, this is me," he said, pointing towards his home.

"Already? Aw, time sure flies by when you're having fun."

"I'll see you tomorrow in class, right?"

"Of course," you promised and before you could talk yourself out of it, gave him a quick but heartfelt hug. "Bye, Renjun."

"Bye, angel."

After your first date with Renjun, things were going quite smoothly. You finally got over your nervousness when it came to talking to him and the two of you would occasionally whisper things to each other during class. The first time he held your hand under the desk your cheeks filled with colour. Despite your embarrassment, you held his hand right back and granted him with a grateful smile. After that, holding hands in class (whenever you weren't busy taking notes) became like second nature to you two. It just felt so sweet and comfortable to be close to him. You couldn't wait till the next weekend for your second date. Even though you were just going to a bookshop and had nothing that special planned out, you enjoyed being around him so much that you were more than excited for spending time with him one-on-one. No professors or other students to distract you.

When the day finally arrived, you were surprised to find out your anxious self had made a comeback. Even though you were around him everyday and had grown accustomed to holding a conversation, it had been an entire week since your first date when it was just the two of you and you couldn't help but get cold feet as you were waiting in front of the bookshop. This time Renjun didn't surprise you from behind, you could see him approaching from a distance. Mentally bracing yourself for his inevitable arrival, you knew you'd be an awkward mess no matter how hard you tried.

"Hey, angel," he greeted you with the usual hug.

"It's nice to see you again, Renjun," you replied dumbly, briefly melting into his arms.

"You saw me yesterday, remember?" he teased you.

"Um, yeah, but still," you chuckled.

"Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself," Renjun immediately noticed the change in your behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be? Everything's peachy," you lied, but he didn't seem to believe you.

"Be honest with me, please," Renjun asked. You suddenly remembered what he'd confided in you during your first date. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting you after someone in his past had had the nerve to pull such a cruel prank on a soul as sweet as his. You felt guilty for lying rightaway and began explaining yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck anything up. Like I just did by lying and swearing. Fuck. I did it again, didn't I? I'll shut up now," you were rambling anxiously.

"Relax, Y/N, I totally get it. I was just worried maybe you didn't want to be here...with me."

"What? Nonsense. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. No one else I'd rather be with."

"Well, the feeling's mutual so there's no need for concern. Let's look at those books, yeah?"

"Yeah, sounds good, Renjun."

As the two of you went inside and started exploring the hundreds of shelves together, you felt yourself relaxing a little. Being surrounded by so many familiar titles, so many gorgeous covers was comforting. And as you kept showing Renjun some of your favourite books and telling him about your most beloved characters, he realized you were back to your usual self in no time. Attentively listening and occasionally sharing his opinions on certain authors, you didn't notice how quickly time passed by and how much you had enjoyed yourself and each other's company. Once you had looked through the bookshop in its entirety, you felt like it was too early to put an end to your date, but you didn't want to come off as too clingy or something. So, you simply looked at Renjun, expecting him to say what he wanted to do next.

"I promised you I'll walk you home this time, didn't I?" he smoothly said.

"I believe you did," you giggled. It was so sweet of him to remember such a detail.

"I'm a man of my word so lead the way," Renjun replied, offering you his arm.

"It will be my pleasure," you eagerly took his arm and the two of you began walking. You were deliberately moving at a slow place, simply because you didn't want this to end and felt like prolonging the time around him.

"Your hands are so pretty," you blurted out at one point.

"You like my hands, huh?" Renjun smirked.

"Did I say that out loud?" you were undoubtedly blushing really hard.

"I'm afraid so."

You felt completely mortified as you covered your face with your own hands.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. You can tell me anything. Chances are I'll take it as a compliment."

"Really?" you sneaked a peak. "You don't think I'm weird?"

"Maybe a little bit, but it's one of the things I like about you."

"One?" you blinked curiously.

"You're really fun to be around and you've been nothing but sweet to me. And of course, you're stunning, but that goes without saying."

"Without saying? I don't mind hearing it, though."

"I'll have that in mind," Renjun smiled gently.

"Renjun?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my hand?" you almost begged.

"I don't know, can I?" he tormented you with a joke.

"Will you hold my hand?" you corrected yourself.

"All you had to do was ask," Renjun acquiesced and intertwined your fingers.

Walking hand in hand, you eventually reached your place. As you two stared at one another, you refusing to go inside, him refusing to go, both of you refusing to let go of the other's hand, you thought to yourself how badly you wanted to kiss him. You had no idea if it was too early for that but you knew that the longer you tried to postpone it, the more you'd crave him. And you were an impatient person. So you quickly kissed him without thinking much. It was a bit awkward and rushed but at least, you had finally done as you wanted. Renjun looked taken aback and blinked at you a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again. "I just..."

He silenced you softly with another kiss, this time more slowly and putting your mind and heart at ease. You lost yourself in the feeling of his plush lips against yours, finally letting go of his hand so that you could wrap yours around his neck. Hesitant at first but growing bolder by the second, you could sense Renjun's tongue testing the waters. You slightly parted your lips, letting him in. As the kiss intensified, you could feel him becoming more eager to touch you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. When you were seconds away from losing your breath, you finally broke the kiss. Opening your eyes to look at him, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He'd kissed you back.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing so much. Especially, when you haven't done anything wrong," Renjun scolded you politely.

You opened your mouth to argue, but when you realized your immediate response would have been another 'I'm sorry', you closed it. A second later, you came up with a different reply.

"I guess you'll have to discipline me, then," you huffed in a challenge.

"Dumbass," Renjun flicked your forehead.

"Hey!" you complained with a pout. "That hurts."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Renjun gave an unamused look.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," you mumbled, not expecting him to actually...kiss your forehead. But he did. And damn your knees for threatening to give out.

"Feel better yet?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

"Get inside already," Renjun tickled your sides, nudging you in the direction of your door.

"You want to get rid of me so badly?"

"No, but we can stand here forever if you don't," he rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to invite you in?"

"Don't tempt me and go," he was impossible to sway.

"Okay, okay," you relented. "See you tomorrow, Renjun!"

For your third date Renjun suggested something different. While your first and second date had all taken place in public locations, this time he offered going to his place. And maybe the shock on your face was too obvious, because Renjun was quick to keep talking and almost take it back.

"We don't have to if you don't want to! We can just watch something at the cinema or whatever. Forget I mentioned it if you're uncomfortable."

You quickly shook your head.

"No, no, I do want to come over! I was just...not expecting it."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"A hundred per cent," you nodded excitedly.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm at two hundred per cent," Renjun teased.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him.

"It's not if I'm winning," he kept playing around.

You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we watching?" you asked.

"You can't go wrong with Harry Potter, am I right?"

"You are so right," you squealed. "Which house are you in?"

"Don't get me started. Sometimes I get Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin, it's a mess."

"That's pretty cool, though," you were practically staring at him with heart eyes at this point.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?"

"Am I so transparent?" you complained, this line becoming something of a running gag between the two of you.

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath and you blushed, not managing to maintain eye contact.

When the time arrived for you to go to Renjun's place, you were more excited rather than nervous. He was so easy to talk to and you were genuinely making so many wonderful memories that you had made it your mission to not waste any second worrying needlessly.

"I have arrived," you announced the obvious as you stood at his door.

"I can see that," Renjun chuckled. "Come on in."

"I wasn't sure if I should bring something so I bought some pizza on the way. It's still hot, so I hope you're hungry," you said as you followed him inside like a puppy.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful. And I always have enough space left for pizza."

You grinned and the minute you put the box on the table and your arms were free, you wrapped them around Renjun in a hug.

"You're so warm," you murmured against his skin.

He kissed the top of your head swiftly. Soon after, the two of you were too busy re-watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, eating pizza and holding hands to talk much. Once the movie was over, you realized how badly you didn't want to go home and how cozy leaning your head on Renjun's shoulder felt. And how much you liked him and couldn't stop thinking about his hands, his smile and his overall existence.

"Do you want to go home already?" Renjun asked the dreaded question.

"I mean, not really, but I don't wanna impose myself on you," you whispered.

"Don't be so formal," Renjun replied. "Just stay a little longer."

"Yayyy!" you were quite overjoyed and kissed his cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, I don't know. I could give you a tour around the place."

"Sure, that sounds fun," you immediately agreed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's just a regular college guy's apartment."

"I'm sure I'll be amazed by every little detail."

"Even my socks?"

"Especially your socks," you joked.

As he showed you around his apartment, you couldn't help but be amazed by how Renjun-like everything was. From the snug kitchen to his art supplies scattered around. Every corner made the atmosphere feel extremely homey. Until you saw something that you hadn't expected, something that hadn't come up in conversation before. A stunning grand piano. You looked at the instrument and then at Renjun and finally, back at the piano.

"Do you play?"

"No, I just keep things like that as an accessory," he responded sarcastically. "Of course, I play."

"Can you...no, wait," you stopped yourself before making a similar mistake to the one you made a while ago. "Will you play something for me?"

"Right now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," you gave him the very best pleading look you were capable of.

Renjun sighed reluctantly and sat down on the bench in front of the piano.

"Don't just stand there awkwardly, sit next to me," he urged you courteously. 

You followed his advice and took the free spot. However, nothing could have possibly prepared you for witnessing Renjun's skills up-close. Watching him play was like magic. You were simply in awe and couldn't help but stare at his pretty fingers hitting the keys in just the right ways. When he was finished performing the piece, you were too frozen to do anything. Couldn't even manage to clap, even though he deserved it so much. But you were too transfixed by his playing and those damn hands of his you couldn't possibly move.

"Earth to Y/N?" Renjun went as far as snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

"Huh?" you let out.

"Did I enchant you or what?"

"I think you did," you chuckled. "Just...wow. You're insanely good."

He looked away bashfully.

"Thanks. It just takes practice."

"Nah, I've heard people play before but what you have is different. So pure and genuine. Like a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I think I'm falling in love with you. I really mean every word."

"Care to repeat that?"

"I really mean..." you started, still not registering what exactly you'd said. How far you'd gone. What you couldn't take back.

"Before that," Renjun reminded you gently. "You know. The part about falling in love with me."

"Shit. I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" you asked dumbly. "It's too early for that, I know. I'm really sorry. Let's just pretend I said nothing and forget about it, yeah?"

In your panic, you jumped up from the bench and were about to escape like a coward but Renjun grabbed your hand before you could take another step.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

"W-what?" you stammered.

"And I don't care about whether it's too early or not. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear it. So the question is...what are you going to do about that?"

"Me? What...am I supposed to do?"

"What you want to do," Renjun clarified.

"Um...I want to keep falling in love with you, Renjun. And holding your pretty hands. Spending time with you. Listening to your angelic voice. What I want...is for you to be my boyfriend."

"I thought I already was."

"You were?"

"We went on a couple of dates...we kissed...Haven't I made it obvious enough?"

"Oh, right," you chuckled. "Sorry."

"Say that word one more time, I dare you," Renjun slowly ran a finger down your lips.

"S-sorry?" you had to test his patience. Before you could argue, he kissed you fiercely, wrapping his palms around your cheeks. You were drowning beneath his touch, which was ridiculous, considering he was also setting your lips on fire. You figured if saying sorry too much was going to end up like this, you would be a fool not to take advantage of it.

"Pretty angel," Renjun whispered against your mouth. "My pretty angel."

You were practically melting and the only thing holding you together were Renjun's arms.

"For fear of sounding lame, I'm inclined to say your pretty angel's almost as pretty as you. Key word: almost," you giggled, recalling your earliest attempts at flirting with him.

"Lies," Renjun shook his head.

"Hey, it worked the first time!" you pouted.

"It only worked because you're the pretty one," Renjun ruffled your hair playfully.

"Oh my God, shut up," you covered your face to hide how red it was.

"Never."

The End

[mysticprofessoralienhumanoid]

Maribat ideas I will probably never write

Now, before we start.

I realize that those may have already been made but I've never seen them and everything here came from my mind. But if you remember the titles, please tell me them or send a link to the stories, I'd love to read them.

This can be whatever ship you want Connorette, Daminette, Cassandra x Marinette, Brucinette... Any ship.

Here I'll refer to them just as the bats or one of the bats, or just choose a random one of them simply because I don't know the exact person that'd fit in the au with Marinette so I'm just leaving it up to you but... yeah.

[And yes, I know I said it could be Connor or Jon or anyone else, and I know they are not part of Batclan but for the lack of better word, just roll with it]

Yes, you can use any of them, but please tag me (i really want to read what you came up with) and include the link to my post so maybe someone else could use any other of these.

And if want to add anything or just brainstorm in the comments I'd love to do it with you, so don't be shy and say what you think (constructive critism only).

Maybe i will update this, but for now feel free to use any of these over 20 (i think at least) ideas I came with in these past 2 weeks cuz i was bored.

And before you start, I'm thinking of making mafia boss! Marinette AU, but i don't know what ship it should be... Suggestions? (Just not the love square please)

Hope you like it.

-------------------------------------------------------

Violinist Marinette. The Waynes got invited to a concert in which Mari played a solo. And they're all just enchanted with her talent.

Marinette a Badass Dancer. None of the bats is a dancer in this AU and I don't really have any direction where this would go, but i just had a scene where she kicks their asses even though she doesn't have much (or any) exprience in martial arts. Just her spinning and kicking one of them mid-spin in the face or... somewhere else...

So the scene is a Wayne Gala, right? Jagged Stone dares Marinette to sing a song on a stage (there’s live music band, i guess?). Everyone’s mesmerised by her voice and Jagged can be heard screaming “That’s my niece!” in the backround. I really want her to sing Creep , a cover by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox ft. Haley Reinhart or Crazy in Love , also a cover made by Sofia Karlberg, though any other song is fine too

Bats and Marinette in a band. That's it. That's the whole AU.

One of the bats is sitting under a tree, all peacefully and relaxed, but then they look up to see a random girl with dark blue hair (??) just hanging upside down from a branch like an actual freaking bat. She gives them a heart attack.

Another Au with singing Marinette lol. In this one Marinette likes to sing in a park every other day and Damian comes here one day and hears her and is like “wow.”, and since then he comes there everyday in hopes of hearing her sing and getting her number. And maybe Luka or Adrien play while she sings, that’d be cool

Guys, Marinette and the Waynes being neighbours. No, but imagine. Them seeing some girl watering plants every week for a month or two and then not seeing her for a long period of time, and they're kinda worried, but then she's back and they're confused, because where the hell she'd been, the house looked like not used and just where the hell was she? Marinette seeing some... Weird things happening in the Wayne backyard. Balconies being in front of each other, so they're balcony neighbours too (the romance, the fluff, even the angst, guys). Marinette going to them with baked goods and introducing herself as their neighbour. Them going to hers and welcoming her with a basket of Alfred's cooking. 

Jason has to participate in a dating show because he lost a bet and Mari's one of the participants too...

Duke needs a date to a wedding (i don't know whose, your choice) and Marinette's his best friend, so be my fake date to this wedding?

Marinette as Tim's daughter??

The greatest showman AU. (Sibling dickinette. On the trapeze-)

Forget rouges, superheroes and vigilantes. Underground dancers. Because it's what i need, y'all

So in this, WE is a dance company, and Marinette's maybe an intern in a fashion department. One day Dick's going to one of the practice rooms where's been scheduled a meeting with a designer for his costume for the next show. Instead he's met with a girl he sees for the first time, practically flying on the dance floor. Just as he's about to reveal himself the rest comes and it turns out this is the fashion designer and it seems as no one knows she's an amazing dancer too

Teachers AU + Rivals AU = utter chaos. Them teaching the same subject and competing for their class' loves and/or arguing whose close is better. [Bonus points if everyone's thinking they hate each others guts, but they're secretly dating]

Fencers AU - on the same team on different teams, your choice. (And this honestly suits with Kagami too. I'm up for kagami x bat/marinette)

Damian in the park with Mar'i, but he's having trouble, because this kid has so much energy. How?? Just when he thinks he can take a breath, he notices Mar'i has wandered off and is talking to a young woman, so he rushes there and try to apologize, but she says it's no problem at all. Suddenly this gorgeous girl offers him her help. It looks like Mar'i has taken liking to her and he's so tired, so he agrees and for the rest day watches two Mari's play together and falls in love with the older one. Plotwist: this was plan all along. Mar'i is the ultimate wingwoman.

All the Wayne siblings decided to go to one of those haunted houses for a halloween and there's this petite girl who tagged along their group somehow. They didn't expect to see this tiny girl punching the worker dressed as a monster and knocking the daylight out of him. But it was so worth getting kicked out.

Marinette's a ghost and these four men came to her house and apparently they're doing a ghost investigation?? I mean, she was getting a bit lonely and bored, maybe it's time to "gain some friends" (read: scare the living out of them).

Pretty much the above but with bat/s as ghost/s and Marinette as the paranormal investigator with her team (i honestly want one of them to be Kagami, i don't know why). In both you need to decide who's a skeptic and who believes. It's fun, the ghost is trying to scare them off, but they're stubborn.

Sibling dickinette where Marinette calls her older brother everytime she wants to get out of a date and so he pretends to "arrest" her. (And then maybe dick decides to play a matchmaker and sets her up with one of his adoptive siblings)

Marinette as a lawyer. Her going against LexCorps who framed Wayne Enterprises for something. Or maybe Bruce was accused of murder (that he obviously did not commit) and now she has to prove his innocence. I just really want to read about badass lawyer Marinette, guys

Merlin AU. Is there any AUs with Marinette being Merlin and saving Arthur's ass (I honestly think it should be Chloe, no joke)?

Mominette where she adopts Cassandra. I just imagined them going to ballet lessons together and cooking and now I'm soft.

Marinette got dared by her friends to set a trap for the passerby that involved eggs, toy train and glitter and to then to pretend they're her ex and they cheated in her, and Jason had the misfortune to be that passerby. (Yes, this is probably crack lol)

Tim can rap. Marinette can rap. What could go wrong?? (Yes, this is probably crack too)

There's this girl they see every year when to go on trick-or-treating and she always has the most amazing or scariest costumes. But Damian will not go without a fight and so every year they compete over who has the better costume. This year they just so conveniently dressed up as the famous Halloween couple.

Jon is 17 now and it seems as no one is interested in him. He jokingly tells Damian he supects theres a ghost that's in love with him and they keep away any potential lovers from him. He doesn't know how much he's right. Marinette though, is freaking out.

Marinette decided to take a part-time job at a local pool as a life guard. There's a sudden increase in people coming to said pool but also a dramatic increase in people pretending to drown. Conner is one of them.

Marinette plays a therapist to all of the batfam. The amount of the ridiculous problems she had to listen to... She could write a book and she would make millions out of it, she swears.

"Some say "revenge is a dish best served cold.", then i read "revenge is sweet", so i came to conclusion revenge is ice cream." Huh, so that'd explain the sudden disappearance of ice cream in whole Gotham Jason had been hearing about for the past week from Bruce. The question is, what that petite bluenette is planning to do and who is going to be a victim of her ice cream revenge?

Tim had been in coma for a month after the drug bust, and he has just woken up. The first thing he does? He picks up the argument he and Marinette had been having before he's been put into a coma.

The couple at the place Jason had been at, started making out loudly, so he started making loud noises while eating his ice cream. They stopped. And he got this cute barista's phone number when she was walking past him.

Marinette's at the spa when she overhears two guys betting who can eat more slices of cucumber (that were supposed to be put on their eyelids) and she decided to participate. Safe to say they were all banned from all the spas in Gotham

Can i please get Jason/Duke/anyone making up a bedtime story for Marinette after she woke up from a nasty nightmare? I need it

Every morning and night Marinette pretends to be asleep just so she can feel Damian pull her closer, kiss her temple and whisper how much he loves her

Roy listening to Jason complaining about each first encounter of her girlfriend with his siblings and Bruce. Each is more ridiculous than the one before. He listens to it, after he and Marinette had gone through their own weird af first meeting.

Dick was so busy laughing at the bluenette who'd just walked into a post, he ran into the same post minute later. She asked him out... After she finished laughing and telling him karma's a bitch

Dick likes to think he's the reason Jason and Marinette got married. To his last days he will brag about how at his and Kori's wedding Marinette caught the bouquet, tripped and Jay caught her.

Jason asked Marinette on a date to one of the restaurant the WE owned. Then as a test, he told her he couldn't pay for all the expensive dishes they ordered. She took his hand and they ran out of the building. He's convinced he's going to marry her.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 GOOD Things About Season Two

Oh, season two... how you hurt me so. 

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about this game-- S2 of TWDG is my least favorite of all five games. I could probably give you a top TEN things that I hate about season two, but... while I don’t love it, I do believe that there is good to be found in it. That’s what I want to discuss today. 

I did have some help brainstorming ideas for this list, so big thanks to @pi-creates, @kaylee-wolf, @taurusicorn2400, and @daisystarss for bouncing ideas around with me! :D

5. The Lee dream sequence.

This scene is super well done. The only reason that it’s so low on the list is because I tend to forget about it due to all the bullshit surrounding it. It usually isn’t until Arvo shoots Clementine that I remember Lee’s gonna show up and make me cry. Then he leaves all too quickly, and it’s back to the Kenny/Jane bullshit train. 

But pushing aside the shitshow, I love this scene. Of course, emotions are all over the place seeing Lee again given the state he was in at the end of s1. Plus there’s something about seeing baby Clementine again after being an older version of her that gets me. 

Their talk is interesting, too, calling back to your choices about Lilly and Carley/Doug, plus discussing Duck being bit. The part that’s always stood out to me, and I’m sure everyone else, is when Clementine asks Lee why people do the things they do.

And Lee’s response is one that doesn’t just apply to s2, it applies to several characters over the course of the series: “Clem, people don't always make sense... 'Cause bad things happen to everyone. And it's hard to keep bein' yourself after they do.”

As the conversation goes on, he also says, “Well, it's not like math, Clem. Sometimes there just isn't a right answer... but part of growing up is doing what's best for the people you care about...even if sometimes...that means hurting someone else.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“...It’s not that easy.” 

Ugh, it’s so good. It ends with Lee asking what he can say to make Clementine feel better, and it really just hurts because y’know it’s not real, y’know that Clementine’s dreaming all of this and Lee’s going to go away.

Overall a powerful scene that gets me every time. 

4. Clementine walking through the snowstorm

Okay look.... I adore this scene. Everything about it. 

Like okay, we have the stupid bullshit that is Kenny and Jane being literal children in the truck, then we nearly crash. Kenny leaves to look for gas, Jane gets Clementine to drive which dumb idea Jane and she crashes. 

That part sucks, but then the actual greatness begins. Jane runs off with AJ, and Clementine’s left alone with nothing but her gun as she begins her walk through the terrible blizzard. 

It has such a sense of loneliness to it-- hearing Clementine shiver and walk around calling out for help before going silent, the song ‘It’s Out There’ that plays while the wind whips and whistles, and then seeing all the frozen walkers standing around like statues really gives you a sense that something terrible is going to happen. It’s this weird calm before the storm kind of thing that also happens to take place during a harsh snow fall? if that makes sense? 

It’s a beautiful scene but it’s also sad, y’know? Sad because once again, Clementine is all alone. She’s been through so much bullshit, and this bullshit train isn’t even at it’s final stop. She’s alone, she’s still injured from when Arvo shot her, she’s gonna freeze to death if she doesn’t keep moving, she has no idea where the fuck Kenny, Jane, and AJ are, and just... it’s a lot. 

But damn it, it’s so good. 

3. AJ is born

AJ being born is one of the best things to happen in S2, and not just because AJ is a super interesting character himself in S2 or even what his being born does for the story. 

If AJ wasn’t born here, then we wouldn’t have had him in TFS where he finally got to become this compelling character and player in the overall story. Don’t get me wrong, his birth does bring an cool aspect to S2 when you willfully ignore how the hell he’s managed to stay alive and healthy the entire time.

Not only that, but we get to see the start of Clementine’s relationship with him. It doesn’t matter what choices you pick, Clementine shows time and time again that she cares about AJ. She nearly breaks down when she believes he died in the snow before the Kenny and Jane fight, then cries again when she discovers he’s alive. 

I enjoy the big sister aspect they went with for Clementine [it definitely beats ANF’s mom nonsense] and I like the growth it shows with her relationship to Rebecca as well... even though that could’ve been written a lot smoother. Rebecca just kind of does a 180 and they blame it on pregnant hormones which.... eh, okay sure. 

For all it’s flaws, this season gave us the start of AJ and I can’t hate it for that, y’know? 

2. Carver is a pretty great antagonist

I like Carver. I think he’s a great antagonist and I really wish they hadn’t killed him off as early as they did.

I find him to be a fascinating character study, y’know? 

From the very beginning, even before we get to physically meet him, we’re told that Carver is a threat. The cabin group are running from someone, and we can easily put the pieces together that Rebecca might be pregnant with his baby rather than Alvin’s.

Then we actually get to meet him when he comes to the cabin and it’s well executed. From Sarah having a panic attack at seeing a glimpse of him through the window, to his friendly and charismatic nature, to the way he talks to Clementine and just... it’s unsettling.

He’s clever, and he knows that Clementine’s covering for the cabin group, but he’s trying to trick her into giving him info. I also hate how smug he gets when he finds the photo of Sarah, but then he just looks at her, and asks, “You have no idea who these people are, do you?” or whatever and just... something about that, y’know? 

Then his “You have a nice day,” as he leaves and you know he’s coming right back with more people, so the group has gotta go. 

Then of course comes his later scenes where he shows up with his people to the lodge, murders Walter while saying he didn’t want to do it but Kenny left him no choice, and he can possibly murder Alvin if Kenny keeps shooting which is a huge holy shit moment because of how Rebecca reacts. 

Ugh, y’know just the way Carver talks to Rebecca and is so matter-of-fact about the baby being his and how he justifies his actions. Like, we can’t forget Reggie and how Carver threw him off the roof only to turn around like “I liked Reggie, he was chill, but he was weak.”

I dunno man, it’s super well done!

I truly believe Carver could’ve gone down as the best antagonist in the series if the writers hadn’t killed him off so damn early to make more room for Kenny to become the new antagonist of the season. Ugh.

I don’t even have an issue with how he died, either. Having Kenny kill him the way he did makes sense and it’s brutal, it was just premature.

Anyway, Carver’s pretty great. One of the best parts of S2. 

1. Clementine 

I mean, are we really surprised? Clementine is what makes this game playable. She’s the best written, most consistent character [which I know is a bit iffy because we do make choices for her but ya get me] and her growth over the season is the most compelling compared to the other characters. 

Hell, of the four Clementine’s we get across the series, this Clementine is my second favorite! She’s fantastic! 

I also love how self-aware she is that her group is just a bunch of morons and she’s gotta do everything around here, but then the same group underestimates her time and time again even though she’s proven herself to be the most competent. 

And on top of that, she goes through so much bullshit. Right from the start, Christa’s still cold to her after what happened to Omid and the baby, then she gets separated from Christa and nearly drowns in a river, then she comes across a dog that attacks and nearly killing her, forcing her to fight back which kills the dog, and then when she finds some decent people, she passes out and this group thinks it’s a walker bite because their “doctor” is incompetent. They lock her up in a shed because ??? so she has to break in and steal supplies to sew up her own arm, which she does and you feel the pain of it the whole way through, BUT THEN she gets attacked by a walker and has to fight it off before the dumb dumb crew come in to help her. 

And that’s just the first part of episode one. 

It’s like the writers were like “Hey, let’s torture Clem so that we can get easy sympathy points from the audience” and then dialed it back a bit because if you look at some of the initial concepts for this season... oof.

But really, S2 in a nutshell is basically “Clementine does anything and gets punished for it.” 

However, it’s not all bad and a lot of it does make her story all the more interesting as it progresses. She goes from a young girl who needs a group to survive, to a survivor herself who is capable of taking care of herself and those she loves. 

This part pertains to my personal ending for this game-- So, by the time we reach the shit show that is the Kenny and Jane fight, I want Clementine to get as far away from both of them as fucking possible. For me, the best endings Clementine can have is to either go alone, or to go to Wellington. 

Wellington’s my personal favorite because I like the idea of Clementine being in a community with strong walls and people to help with AJ. I mean, we gotta throw out the logic when it comes to AJ surviving because in every single endings, he should be dead. 

Honestly, that’s the only thing that keeps me from shooting Kenny. Hell, in my opinion, walking off into the woods with him instead of staying at Wellington is the worst ending in the entire game-- I’d rather go with ding dong dingus Jane than stick around with Kenny, but for me, neither of those are a good conclusion to Clementine’s story and character in S2

Anyway, endings aside, Clementine is the only part of the story that doesn’t make me side eye the writers the way I do for everything else... well, I side eye them sometimes but S2 as a whole is such a mess that it takes a lot to not straight up glare at them and the amount of fuck ups they had here. 

Clementine is hands down the best part of S2.

--- Honorable Mentions

-Big brother Luke in the first couple episodes -This game does have a bunch of different endings that you can get, which is pretty neat until you realize that they mean practically nothing come ANF and they’re totally unbalanced sooo... nice try? -Uncle Pete is pretty cool -The setting of the ski resort is super nice and cozy until murder happens. -In fact, the snowy nature is visually pretty and the skyboxes are some of the best in the series. 

---

So what do you think? Do you agree with this list? What are some of your favorite parts of Season 2? Are you looking at this and asking where the Kenny entry is? Well, I’m sure if you scroll up just a wee bit, you’ll find your answer. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers 

[spaceskam]

prompt from @orlamcsupercool: malex and 5 for the sensory prompts! 5. Trying to walk on ice sensory prompts

ao3

“Alex.”

“No, go away.”

“I’m not going anywhere, will you just grab my hand?”

There were probably more than a few reasons why one should not agree to travel to Canada on an mission with an ex-boyfriend who happened to be able to obtain two fake passports with fake names within a day’s notice, but Michael was never known for being reasonable. A few whispered talks about a secret, small US embassy in Canada that was specifically there to track alien artifacts that were found in the country. It was much easier to obtain them when it was official government business worthy of an unlisted location.

Alex found that location though and they were going to sneak in, but first they had to handle the fact that they’d spent too much time together in an enclosed car. The first 20 hour of the drive had been fine. But then sharing a motel room has stirred up some thoughts and feelings that were the epitome of wrong place, wrong time. The rest of the drive had been awkward and uncomfortable because neither of them knew how to just say ‘I love you, trust me’. It was so much easier to just be assholes.

But now Alex was stuck, unable to walk on the ice that covered the ground within the half mile surrounding that secret embassy. His prosthetic had an air pocket which he noticed when they got out of the car, but he said he'd been fine and didn't need to fix it. Now they were walking on what was apparently an iced over lake in the dark and he couldn't take a step without risking falling to his face. It definitely presented a problem.

Which, you know, would've been a lot easier to handle if this wasn't the biggest fucking metaphor in the world.

"I know you're mad at me, but grab my hand," Michael told him, "Or let me use my TK to help you. Fucking let me help you for once."

"No!" Alex said, on the verge of tears now. Michael wasn't stupid enough to think it was all because of the fact he felt helpless on the ice. "I don't need your help!"

"Oh, you don't? So you want me to leave you here to get questioned by government officials by yourself?" Michael asked. Alex sniffled and nodded, his features lit only by the moon. He looked fucking gorgeous despite the stubborn crease in his brow and the tears in his eyes.

"Yes," Alex said sternly, "I would rather be fucking held as a POW than let you help me."

Michael sighed, raking frustrated hands through his hair. They were here on borrowed time, a 30 minute window during shift change where people were off their game. They were running out of time.

Stupidly, his mind went back to the night before spent in the motel. They'd been sitting on the floor, eating pizza and talking about life and feeling completely normal. Michael had been unable to stop smiling because it was such a novelty to steal a few hours where they could pretend they were just two guys. No abusive parents, no foster homes, no alien conspiracy, no secrets. Just two guys with pizza and a shared hatred of the ending of How I Met Your Mother.

It was the most they'd bonded in forever and Michael had felt himself fall in love with his man all over again. Which was awesome and exhilarating all the way up until Alex had gone in for a kiss, confident as ever, and Michael had rejected him. He only did that because he was determined not to let history repeat itself with them, but Alex had taken it as a final act of rejection and that it was sufficiently over forever and Michael had been fucking with his feelings. Which, honestly, was a fair conclusion given their history.

But still. It wasn't the case and Michael felt like he'd waited too long to explain. Now would particularly be a horrible time to try.

He checked his watch.

"Alex, we have less than 10 minutes. We need to go back to the car and go stay at a motel, we can come back tomorrow," Michael told him. Alex took a steadying breath.

"I came here to get that damn piece and I'm getting it tonight," he said stubbornly. Michael's eyes bulged out of his face.

"Alex, we are out of time," Michael said slowly, "We're going to get caught and then we're both fucked."

"I don't want to be alone with you for longer than I have to," Alex shot back. Michael ignored the way that stung.

"Fine, I'll sleep in the truck and leave you alone, just please. Please let me help you."

They stared at each other in debate for too long, wasting too many seconds.

Then Alex tried to take a step forward, focusing so hard, and yet he still lost his footing due to lack of sensation on his prosthetic leg. Michael caught him before he went down completely, holding him up. Alex stared at the ground between them.

"Let go," he whispered.

"I'm not letting go of you, Alex," Michael told him, softer than it needed to be and carrying more weight than it should. Alex's fingers dug into Michael's forearms and he shook his head.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked quietly, his voice cracking. Michael held back the urge to pull him into a hug. They needed to get out of here.

"Can you please wait for the answer to that question until after I help you out of here? 'Cause I swear it's a good answer. I think you'll like it," he promised, looking away from Alex just long enough to make sure no one was anywhere near them. "Trust me just enough to get us out of here, okay? Military guys are people well known for packing a gun and I'm not trying to get shot for being on their property."

"I'm packing," Alex told him. Michael managed a smile.

"Yeah, I know you are," Michael said, rubbing his hand up and down his arm, "You wanna get on my back or do you have a better idea on how to get out of here?"

Alex looked up at him slowly, clearly hesitant to let him help. Eventually, though, he let Michael help him onto his back and then, with a little assistance from his telekinesis to keep them upright on the ice, he started running.

As he started running, he started brainstorming of ways to make Alex feel better about the situation. He knew Alex and he knew he hated feeling helpless, but he was coming up blank. It was just something they'd have to deal with.

They got to the truck and he let Alex take the driver's seat, hurriedly trying to get off the premises before anyone noticed how close they were. After Michael caught his breath, he turned to Alex who still had those angry, frustrated eyebrows in full force.

"Thank you," he said.

"I didn't fucking do anything," Alex said.

"Thank you for putting our safety over your pride," Michael told him, smiling slightly as his face relaxed just a little, "And, more importantly, I love you."

Alex seemed to freeze despite the fact he was still driving, his eyes going wide in shock.

"Even though you're a stubborn asshole who's pride is probably gonna get me killed one day, I love you," Michael went on, "I am actually extremely in love with you to the point that I want to keep my hands off of you until we talk about all the little details so that I don't fuck up again. Which is what I would've told you last night if you would've let me."

"I..."

"You're so fucking stubborn and infuriating, but you're strong and resilient I love you for it and I'm tired of not telling you," Michael said, leaning over the center console. He pressed a kiss to the side of Alex's head, holding the other side of his head with his hand. "That's why I'm doing this to you. My answer good enough?"

Alex sat there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth and his eyebrows doing all sorts of things as he tried to piece together what he was hearing.

“No,” Alex said eventually, “No, it is not good enough, you asshole!”

Michael grinned at that, grazing his nails against the side of his head that his hand was still holding. He tilted his head into the headrest.

“I love you.”

“You’re so fucked for leaving me thinking you hated me for a whole day!”

“I love you.”

“And you’re such an asshole for keeping that to yourself.”

“I love you.”

“God forbid we actually could’ve gotten caught and then I would’ve spent that whole time thinking you didn’t! You’re supposed to clear the air before the dangerous mission!”

“Alex,” Michael laughed, still gently scratching his scalp, “I love you. We’re not dead, we’re safe, and, if you want, I will spend the rest of the night in the motel fucking the anger out of you.”

Alex took his eyes away from the road just long enough to glare at him. Michael still smiled.

“I got you. I’m never gonna let you fall or get hurt or get caught, not if I can help it. Because I love you. So tomorrow night when we come back, let’s anticipate for you not being able to walk on the ice and work around it, okay?” he said. Alex nodded, blowing out a long breath from his nose.

“I’m so annoyed with you right now,” Alex said, “But fine. I trust you and you’re right.”

“And you love me,” Michael prodded. Alex rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile from his face.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “And I love you.”

[quicksilversquared]

Cookies and Croissants: Chapter 2 (of 3)

As a superhero, saving the world is standard fare. It’s practically expected. But saving one’s civilian friend from her best friend’s off-target assumptions?

Somehow, that’s almost harder.

links in the reblog

Alya had not dropped it.

Oh, sure, she had stopped openly teasing Chat Noir about his girlfriend during the battles where Rena Rouge (and later, Vixen) was called on, and she wasn't bugging him about Marinette during their camera-moving patrols, but there were little side comments (though not enough to attract Ladybug's attention, unfortunately) and, as Adrien, he overheard Alya pestering Marinette with increasingly less veiled comments. Lila hadn't helped things at all when she overheard a few of the comments and then told Alya afterwards about how she had seen Marinette with someone who looked like he was maybe her boyfriend a couple of days prior. Sure, Lila had been largely discredited a week later, after Ladybug had completely shot down Vixen's proposed rescue of Lila during an akuma attack by calling the Italian girl a liar and a thief and not worth their time (the look on Vixen's face as that sunk in had been hilarious), but Alya still seemed to think that maybe Lila hadn't lied about that one sighting. After all, all of her other lies were about famous people, just to boost her reputation, and why would Lila bother to make something up about Marinette?

It was frustrating, and even more so that Chat Noir couldn't do anything about it. Ladybug had told him that giving any sort of reaction to Alya-slash-Rena-slash-Vixen was probably just going to end up egging her on. That meant that he was limited to snorts and eye-rolls when Vixen started up with her comments. Despite Ladybug's insistence on that strategy, it didn't seem to be getting through to her at all. Maybe it would have been more effective back at the very start, when Alya had just gotten the idea, but it was too late to go back and change things now.

Still, he wanted to make things right and get it through Alya's head that Chat Noir wasn't dating Marinette, because Marinette's family had been nothing but fantastic to him and repaying that with almost endless nagging from Alya didn't seem very kind.

And then one evening, Chat Noir made an accidental discovery during an impulse visit to Marinette's balcony that made it even more important that he deal with Alya's continued belief that Chat Noir was dating Marinette. Like, now.

Because Ladybug was Marinette and if he wanted to date her- properly date her, with both of them in their civilian forms- without giving away his identity to Alya, too, then he needed to knock that belief right out of Alya's mind.

The only question was how.

"She's just so set that she's right about Chat Noir and I dating now, even if we've given her no ammo recently," Marinette groaned as the two of them sprawled out in the ever-growing pile of blankets in her room. They had decided to forgo their regular patrol- the cameras weren't due to be moved yet anyway- to hang out and talk about the surprise reveal so that they wouldn't give anything away during school the next day by acting off. Adrien could tell that it had been a good idea, because if he had thought that he had been surprised when he dropped by Marinette's room for a surprise visit before patrol and saw her transforming into Ladybug, Marinette had been even more knocked off balance by his impulsive reveal. They had only just managed to pull themselves back together and fall into their normal routine after the silence had gotten to be too much for both of them and they had burst out into giggles. "I mean, it's possible that all we would have to do to convince her that she's wrong would just be to start dating and she would realize that she was being ridiculous and just jumped to conclusions- I know Nino's been telling her that pretty regularly, so it's not like the idea hasn't been floated- but there's always that chance that she- well, that she'll make the correct assumption. And maybe Hawkmoth is gone now, but- well, I just don't want to start spreading my identity everywhere. Just in case anything pops up in the future."

"So what should we do?" Adrien asked, the question as much for Marinette as it was for their two kwamis. The had decided to both stay detransformed while they were hanging out just to get used to it, and while it was a little awkward to have Tikki and Plagg so actively listening and chiming in on their conversation, he couldn't deny that their wisdom and experience might be helpful. "Because I don't want to have to wait years to date you, just because of Alya and her overactive imagination. That's too long."

"Well, there's always dating in secret," Marinette offered up, shifting her spot in the blankets so that she was half-resting against his side. "But then if we get caught, it'll look even more suspicious, like you revealed your identity to me and we were just trying to hide that. There wouldn't be any coming back from that."

Adrien groaned some more.

Plagg snorted. "I still think that the best way to prove that Chat Noir isn't dating Marinette is to have him date someone else. Ladybug and Chat Noir can date, Alya will drop it, and then you can wait a bit before Adrien and Marinette start dating, just to hide the coincidence."

"But what's stopping Alya from assuming that Marinette is Ladybug, then?" Adrien challenged him. "Because if she could make the jump from me hesitating over the word friend to assuming that we were secretly dating, then the jump from Marinette is Chat Noir's girlfriend but Ladybug is Chat Noir's girlfriend to Ladybug is Marinette isn't very far."

"Why did you hesitate, by the way?" Marinette asked, gently bumping his arm with her fist. "We're friends!"

Adrien caught Marinette's hand and gave her knuckles a kiss, just because he could. "Because I was worried that it wasn't a good idea to admit that I was friends with a civilian as my superhero self. Because I wondered if Chat Noir and Marinette were close enough to be considered friends or if us being friends as civilians was influencing my definition. Because I overthought it. Choose your favorite."

"Mmm."

They fell silent, both of them doing their best to brainstorm. Adrien closed his eyes, basking in the warm patch of blanket that he had just wriggled into.

Maybe he wasn't actually a cat, but there was no denying that the warmth of the nearby radiator combined with the soft blankets was heaven. There was a reason that he kept on ever-so-stealthily expanding Marinette's blanket collection, and- well, this was it.

(Adrien idly wondered if there was a good way for him to more sneakily keep adding pillows and blankets to Marinette's collection so that she wouldn't tell him to stop. Maybe he could suggest making a fleece knot blanket together, and of course it would make more sense for her to keep it in her room since they spent all of their time there anyway. But that was just one blanket, and really Adrien would love a nice, thick pile, perfect for burrowing in and wrapping himself in and draping himself over, so he would have to come up with more ideas.

But that- well, that was a secondary problem, just a little one, and not nearly as pressing as the one that he was meant to be thinking about, so maybe he would think about that later.)

"I suppose you would have the same problem if Marinette dated Adrien," Tikki mused aloud after a couple minutes, making Adrien startle. Apparently he had been drifting off with the blankets and the sun and the company. "And of course, if Ladybug and Chat Noir were ever caught acting too close, Alya could figure out both of you. Hmm." She considered that. "What if you fake a break-up? Then you could just wait a little while before dating publically."

Both Adrien and Marinette instantly made a face at the suggestion. Tikki bristled.

"What?"

"I just don't think it would work," Adrien started slowly, glancing over at Marinette. "Like, Alya is currently under the assumption that Chat Noir and Marinette are dating, right? And the assumption that she knows about it, and Chat Noir knows she knows. I feel like she would be expecting us to stage a break-up so that I could date Marinette as my civilian self without Alya finding out my secret identity. And maybe the timing is weird, because we haven't defeated Hawkmoth yet, but we are close to finding out who he is and she might think that we're trying to get the slip on her."

"Exactly," Marinette agreed. "That is exactly the kind of convoluted reasoning that she would jump at. And- I don't know, that just feels like letting her win a bit, you know? It would be rewarding her tendency to jump to conclusions, and then she'd maybe be more likely to keep on doing it because she was 'right' this time."

Adrien nodded. Maybe it was a little petty, but he didn't want to vindicate Alya's scoop, not after she had spent weeks and weeks bugging Marinette for details about a relationship that didn't exist. How Marinette had put up with that, he really didn't know. "That, too."

"Ugh, you're being so difficult," Tikki complained, but Adrien could tell that she could see their point. "Fine. Uh, maybe if we…" She trailed off, frowning, apparently just out of ideas as the rest of them were.

That was a bit concerning. If the centuries-old kwamis couldn't think of a solution, what chance did the rest of them have?

"What we really need," Marinette said slowly, "is solid, indisputable proof that we aren't Ladybug and Chat Noir."

Adrien snorted. "Which is hard, since we are. Except- oh!" He shot upright at once, positive that he had caught on to Marinette's idea. "The Fox! We just need to use that Miraculous and make an illusion of all four of us- our superhero selves and our civilian selves- together, where Alya can see it!" That was a great plan, really. They might have to tweak the illusion a bit so that Alya wouldn't notice how similar they looked- and wasn't it a good thing that Marinette had started changing up how she wore her hair from day to day?- but it would be the proof that they would need to make any of their other ideas work without backfiring.

And all they would need would be a simple illusion. One shot, one illusion with the four of them near the bakery, and they would be home free. By next week, he could be sitting in a cafe with Marinette on a date, sharing a plate of pasta Lady and the Tramp-style.

"It wouldn't be quite that simple," Marinette warned him, pushing herself up from the blankets as well and pulling Adrien out of his daydream of kisses over a basket of garlic bread- or maybe just regular bread, since garlic bread probably wasn't a great idea for a first date. "Alya knows about the Fox and its powers, since she's used it so many times before. If we're too obvious about it and about going out of our way to make sure that she notices, then she might get more suspicious instead of less."

Adrien frowned at that, puzzled, but decided not to question it. Marinette knew Alya better than he did, so if she thought that a simple Mirage of Adrien and Marinette next to Ladybug and Chat Noir would make Alya suspicious, then he wouldn't argue.

After all, Marinette- as Ladybug- had figured out that his comments as Chat Noir would make Alya suspect that he was dating her before Rena Rouge had even said anything. Clearly she knew how her best friend's brain worked.

Next to him, Plagg groaned. "Oh, no, not the convoluted plans again! Spare me!"

Marinette ignored him. "The main problem, as I see it, is that we don't have many excuses for Ladybug and Chat Noir to visit Adrien and Marinette publicly, in a scenario that wouldn't look staged. The most believable scenario would be a rescue during an akuma attack, but I don't know if it would actually be a good idea to try to create an illusion then. We'd be rushing, the chances of Alya seeing it wouldn't be great, and the chances of something going wrong and disrupting the illusion- well, that might be too high to risk it."

"It would make us look even more suspicious," Adrien agreed. He half-frowned, half-pouted as he considered the problem. Maybe he was usually pretty good at being patient, but now that he knew who his Lady was and that she like-liked him, he wasn't particularly interested in sitting around on his hands and not doing anything about it. But he wasn't coming up with any solutions that didn't have major potential for backfiring identities-wise, and he knew how important her secret identity was to Marinette. He wasn't going to press for anything that might endanger that. "Ugh. This is a disaster."

"There, there, kitty." He could hear the muffled laughter in Marinette's voice as she patted his head. "We'll figure something out, even if it takes a few weeks."

Adrien could only groan, throwing his head back. "Ugh. That's going to feel like forever."

  Three days, later, Adrien was suddenly facing a much more pressing issue, one that shoved all of his other thoughts about how unfair their current situation was to the side. The net of cameras had finally managed to capture the source of all of the corrupted butterflies…..and they were indisputably coming from the Agreste Mansion.

  In the end, it was Dragoness who took Hawkmoth and Mayura down, in very typical Dragoness fashion.

"Oh, this is dumb," she had groaned after all of the superheroes had gathered to brainstorm how to attack Mr. Agreste and Mayura. Idea after idea had been shot down, because they wanted to be safe about the entire attack instead of rushing in and risking injury, and clearly the deliberations were wearing on Dragoness' patience. "We hesitate, and Mr. Agreste has more of a chance to do damage or find out about the police effort and the fact that we know who he is now. We can do one small ambush attack and be done, and then go back to our normal lives."

And with that, she had hopped off of the roof, dashed for the Agreste Mansion before anyone could stop her, turned into pure lightning, blasted through the window, and knocked both Mr. Agreste and Nathalie unconscious with a well-aimed jolt to the head before they even realized that she was there. The fight between superheroes and supervillains ended not with an epic battle, but with the rather anticlimactic thud of two unconscious bodies hitting the floor in a pristine home office while static crackled through the air.

The rest of their group stared.

"Well, that's one way to do it," Ladybug said dryly after several moments had passed and she had regained her composure, swinging through the window that Dragoness had shattered. "Nice work. Vixen, Leonardo- I want you to call the police to come pick these two up and then go out front to let them in. The rest of us can get the Miraculous and start documenting and gathering up anything else Miraculous-related."

Vixen opened her mouth- to protest, Ladybug was pretty positive, because of course she would want to poke around all of the Miraculous stuff but that wasn't going to happen if Ladybug could help it- but Leonardo elbowed her and pulled her out of the room before she could say anything.

"I'd also like someone watching Mr. Agreste and Ms. Sancoeur even after we take their Miraculous," Ladybug added. "Make sure that they're still breathing and don't wake up suddenly."

Cobra nodded. "I can do that. I've taken first aid before, I know what to look for."

"Good. Thank you." Ladybug let out a long breath, then looked around the room. Chat Noir was clearly doing all he could to not look at his fallen father and Nathalie, but everyone else seemed to be relatively unrattled. "Chiron, can you hack into the computers? If there's any information in there about motives, that would be great to know. Dragoness-"

"I have retrieved the Miraculous." Dragoness held out her hand to Ladybug, the Butterfly and the Peacock glittering from her palm. "They were not trying particularly hard to hide them, oddly enough. I would have expected more effort."

"Well, they weren't expecting people to find out about them," Ladybug pointed out with a little laugh. She took the Miraculous, tucking them away in her yo-yo, then glanced around again. Chiron had grabbed Mr. Agreste and was using the limp fashion designer's hand to get past the lock screen. Cobra looked less than certain about the manhandling of the unconscious ex-supervillain, but he wasn't objecting yet, either. "So there's no point in tucking the Miraculous away behind layers and layers of fabric. And they're camouflaged anyway, so..."

Dragoness looked less than convinced. Still, she turned away, working her way around the room, looking behind paintings and photos for hidden safes. Chat Noir had already opened the safe behind the portrait of his mom, cracking the door in half with his baton. Ladybug dithered for a moment, not entirely sure where she should start. Before she could go for the drawers of the desks- a fairly logical place to hide things, really- Chiron looked up from the computer.

"Ladybug? Chat Noir? I- I think you should see this."

  Hawkmoth was defeated. Paris was safe. Adrien's father and Nathalie were safely in jail, recovering from the healthy jolt of electricity to the head that they had gotten. All of the temporary Miraculous were back with Ladybug- after all, it wouldn't be a good idea to have too much magic jewelry floating around, even if they had good teammates- and Mrs. Agreste had been found, thanks to the information that Chiron had found on Mr. Agreste's computer, and Voyage'd off to Tibet for soul purification and healing with the restored temple of Guardians.

And, well, it turned out that having one's father exposed as a supervillain did have one very convenient upside.

After all, now it wasn't unbelievable that the superheroes might drop in and check up on Adrien every so often to make sure that he was coping with his father's arrest and to give him any updates on Mrs. Agreste's condition. And since the superheroes were very likely to be busy and need to be on their way quickly, it would make the most sense for Adrien to meet up with them in the mansion's courtyard.

And of course, for that to actually happen…well, it required a little bit of Miraculous magic, and a bit of planning.

Or a lot of planning, since Marinette was involved and wanted to make sure that all of their bases were covered and that nothing would go wrong. Adding to the difficulty, of course, was the fact that Alya had used the Fox Miraculous before and would be more likely than most people to pick up on anything that wasn't quite right. They had gone over the plan dozens of times, reviewing and fine-tuning it before the superheroes' first "visit".

And yet Marinette was still really nervous about something going wrong, considering that she was going over the plan again. Adrien would remind her that he already knew it by heart- after all, he had been present and active in the whole planning process- but if going over the plan again out loud was going to help Marinette be less nervous, Adrien wasn't going to stop her.

"I'll start the illusions a bit away, in an obvious area," Marinette was saying, pacing back and forth across the room as all of the kwamis watched her. "Then they'll swing by your window so that you know to come out to the front and pretend to chat. They'll stick around long enough for people to get in a picture or two, then leave. And remember-"

"-don't touch the illusions," Adrien finished for her, figuring that it was a good way to show her that he was listening and hadn't just checked out. "I know. I'll be careful."

"I'd make you an illusion, too, just so that there could be a little more interaction between you, but if the Gorilla comes out at all…" Marinette sighed, finally flopping onto the couch. "Hopefully he doesn't, or at least doesn't try to come over and listen in. I can do conversation, of course, but I'd have to actually think of things to say. And voices- I can do mine, obviously, but yours?"

"Chat Noir could always have a nasty cold that made him lose his voice," Adrien pointed out. He reached for Marinette's hand as she slid on the Fox Miraculous. "You've got this, Bugaboo. You've done illusion improv before and did amazing. I trust you. And I'll help, too, if he comes out. I can prompt the conversation with questions. You don't have to overthink this."

Marinette let out a long breath, her shoulders finally slumping as she relaxed. "Right."

Adrien pulled her into a hug. "You've got this."

"Right." Marinette took another deep breath, then called on Tikki and Trixx. With a flash of light, she transformed, and then she wasted no time at all in leaping out of the window, headed across the rooftops to find a place to hunker down so that she could watch her illusions without getting spotted herself. Adrien settled back down on the couch, keeping one eye on his window and the other on his phone, open to the superhero tag. He wanted to be able to let Foxybug know when her illusions were spotted, so that they could stop lingering and instead head straight for the mansion. After all, they wanted to balance getting attention with being believable, and favoring one over the other could easily be enough to raise some suspicion.

Despite the fact that the akuma threat was gone- or perhaps because of it, since sightings of the superheroes had gotten fewer and further between- it wasn't long before people started noticing the superheroes and posting about it online. A few were even posting pictures, and Adrien grinned when he saw one that had Ladybug and Chat Noir with their heads together, clearly deep in discussion about something serious. Foxybug wasn't having them go anywhere in a hurry, but- well, considering that the superheroes would have probably felt a bit awkward around Adrien if he hadn't been part of their team in the first place, their hesitation before talking to him was understandable. Two teenagers who hadn't been trained in giving news to family members of- well, family members of people who weren't in the best shape- would be a bit apprehensive.

Adrien's grin got wider. Marinette was so clever. He would have had the illusions wandering back and forth to get attention- the most obvious route to take, at least in his mind- and that would have been far more suspicious. Her ability to plan out believable scenarios, even when they weren't the most obvious- and often right on the spot, too-

Well, she was just incredible. That much was obvious- and had always been obvious.

Adrien couldn't wait until their plan had worked and he could safely date Marinette.

A tap at his window startled Adrien out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see the superhero illusion. He waved at it, then got up and headed for the courtyard in front of the mansion, squinting a little against the sun.

Unsurprisingly, the superhero illusions had beat him there and were waiting at the top of the steps. Perhaps a little more surprisingly, Adrien could already see a couple people not-so-discreetly peering through the gate, their phones out.

If this had been a real update meeting about how his mom was doing, Adrien would be pretty ticked at the invasion of his privacy, even though no one would actually be able to overhear their talking from the gate. As it was…

Well, he was still a bit irritated by it. After all, real or not, people were clearly prioritizing their interest in gossip over his right to privacy. But it was what he and Marinette wanted to happen, to keep their identities safe, so he wouldn't complain.

(Too much, at least.)

An awkward moment passed as illusions and civilian stared at each other, suddenly feeling too awkward to act. Since Adrien got the information on his mom at the same time as Ladybug did, there was no need to actually discuss her now, but that meant that they had to decide on a topic of conversation unless they just wanted to mime a conversation and hope that there were no binocular-eyed lip-readers in the group lingering at the gate.

"Er- thank you for coming, Ladybug and Chat Noir," Adrien finally said, breaking the silence even as he struggled to come up with a topic to discuss. Even with his background in modeling and dabbling in acting, he didn't think that he could pull off a several-minute "conversation" with the superheroes about nothing and make it look believable. "So, uh, how is my mom doing?"

…well, it wouldn't hurt to just reiterate the little information that he had already heard, he supposed. They could manage that, surely, even if both of them had suddenly gone tongue-tied.

So much for not overthinking things. Really, it was a miracle that they had done so well with akuma fights when they managed to get wrapped up in their own heads

Ladybug blinked, then sighed. "Oh. So we're actually talking, then."

Adrien tried not to laugh at that. "I figured that it would probably be more convincing than just standing around staring at each other, yes."

"Right- I mean, obviously, yes, mouths should be moving, but now I have to think of dialogue."

Adrien was starting to struggle to keep a straight face. If he laughed, that would be crazy suspicious. "We could just talk about the weather. How's the air above Paris, Chat Noir?"

There was a pause, and then Chat Noir scrunched up his nose at Adrien and said, in what was possibly the worst imitation of his voice that Adrien had ever heard in his life, "Paw-sitively purrfect."

Adrien practically choked in his effort not to laugh at that.

"Anyway, there's not much to report," Ladybug said a little louder than necessary, probably to cover up any suspicious noises from his muffled laughter. "The Guardians have reported your mom's safe arrival, and tests on her condition are expected to begin shortly. They just want to ensure that she will be stable during tests."

Adrien rearranged his face into something more suitable for the occasion. "What, you didn't like the weather talk? Pity."

"There's only so much I can think to talk about that's weather-related!" Ladybug protested. "Anyway, my timer is beeping, I'll have to wrap this up. We'll check in with you in a few days."

Adrien nodded, stepping back to give the illusions plenty of space to take off without crashing into him before turning to watch them go. He glanced at the gate- there were still people there, and a few withdrew hastily when they saw him looking at them as though he might not notice them there, while others clearly weren't at all ashamed at getting caught- and then turned and headed inside.

"First meeting was a success, I think," Marinette said as soon as Adrien stepped into his room, making him startle. For some reason, he hadn't guessed that she would be able to circle back and rejoin him so quickly, but he really should have. She was speedy, after all, and she would have been reaching the end of her Fox transformation. "Not everyone who was peeking in had their phones out for pictures, but most did. I wouldn't be surprised if at least one photo hits the internet."

"A necessary annoyance," Adrien agreed, flopping down on the couch next to her and resting his head against her shoulder. Now that that was over, he could properly relax. "And Alya follows the superhero tags religiously, so if it gets posted, she'll see it."

"Exactly." Marinette glanced over at him, grinning. Clearly she was feeling just as relieved that the first part of their plan was over with. "So. What do you want to do now?"

[skz-belle]

Forgiveness

Summary: Belle and Minho’s inability to cooperate leads some of their friends to take drastic measures.

Genre: angst to fluff

Warnings: a bit of language

Word Count: 2.1k

m.list

After their rather eventful first meeting, Belle and Minho met many times but it was anything but friendly. Glares and the occasional degrading comment were common between the two. It was a matter of pride for both of them; neither wanted to break the now common tension between them due to past anger and resentment that had built up. Jeongin and Jisung knew of the incident that sparked the feud, and while they empathized with the girl, they thought it was a small reason for such an extensive and intense hatred.

After accepting Chan’s offer to join his group, she learned that Minho was a member as well. She immediately went straight to Chan. She found him in a mostly empty hallway in the company, and immediately began bombarding him with questions. 

“Chan, is Lee Minho really in the group?” Belle’s face was scrunched up in concern, and Chan sighed having sensed this conversation coming.

“Yes, he is. He is a great vocalist and an even more amazing dancer.”

“And an asshole.” Belle’s quip didn’t phase Chan at all, and he looked rather disappointed in the girl.

“Belle, can you please work through this? Having both of you on the team would be so amazing. Plus, you two are more similar than you know. If you could put aside your differences and just-”

“If any sort of forgiveness is going to happen, he needs to apologize first.”

“Belle, you-”

“Chan, I adore you but I really don’t want to hear it. Tell him to grow a pair and apologize.”

“He said the same thing. You can step away from the situation and see it from an outside perspective- he can’t. Please just humor me.”

“I’m sorry, Chan. I can’t do that this time. If it is meant to work out, it will, but I am tired of thinking about him.” The conversation changed topic when Chan saw that she was adamant about not speaking about the boy any longer. Belle and Minho’s dischord had placed Chan in a difficult spot and was forcing him to make difficult and rash decisions. He had spoken to Woojin and Changbin prior to his talk with Belle, and they had devised a solution; however, this solution was rather chaotic, unorthodox, and extremely cliche. Thoughts ran through Chan’s head as he sent a simple text to both Changbin and Woojin.

Chan: the plan is on. meet me in thirty minutes and bring minho

With that out of the way, he continued speaking with Belle, mainly about the plans for the group and possible production ideas. 

“Oh, 3RACHA is having a brainstorming session soon if you want to join.” Chan hoped his voice wouldn’t fail him under pressure; there was no session scheduled, this was one of the first steps to the plan to bring Belle and Minho to a truce.

Belle’s face lit up at the prospect of accompanying 3RACHA, and she fervently nodded her head, “That sounds great! You should really know my answer by now, Channie.”

“Hey, I just wanted to ask. We are going to meet in a practice room in just a few minutes, so let’s head on up.” Chan’s voice held true, and he sounded perfectly normal to the unsuspecting girl. He felt a bit of remorse for what he was about to do. It wasn’t horrible by any means, but it would still place Belle in a situation she would prefer to avoid.

Chan stops in front of a practice room, and Belle looks at him in confusion. “I left my laptop in my bag. You go on in- I think the boys are in there already.” Belle nods and enters, as Chan seemingly turns away. She enters the nearly vacant room to see Lee Minho sitting against the far wall with an unreadable expression upon his face. Their eyes meet for a second, before a click forces them to look to the door. Chan’s face is visible through the small window embedded in the door and he shoots the two a sorrowful look, almost as if to say sorry for the situation he caused. He looked at his phone and began typing, and a text popped up on both Belle and Minho’s phones.

Chan: I’m sorry we had to do this, but please resolve whatever is happening. We will let you out when you have become civil. We love you both- please make up

Minho scoffed once he read the text and looked to Belle with the same unreadable expression adorning his facial features. “We could have avoided this if you had been kind from the start.” Belle’s eyes darkened with anger at the accusation.

“I apologized the day we met. I am not the one in the wrong here.”

“You have been awful to me ever since that day. Don’t talk about apologies when you make a point to be rude.”

“Like you haven’t made it a point to be rude to me?” Minho’s face softened a bit at the accusation but quickly regained its cold fasade.

“I have only been giving back what I recieved.”

Belle laughed a tired laugh and shook her head in exasperation, “Y’know what? This is pointless. You have no intention of reconciliation and I am not in the mood to argue for hours. They have to let us out eventually.”

“They do, and until then I am done talking.” Minho huffed as he crossed his arms and pouted like a toddler. Belle scoffed at the childishness, even though she had done the same numerous times.

After an hour had passed, with no sign of escape happening anytime soon, Minho groaned out of frustration. The air in the room had been tense for the entirety of their stay and it was beginning to wear on him. It felt as though the room was suffocating him, and Belle wasn’t faring much better. “When are they going to end this?” Minho’s sudden question cut through the air and startled Belle, who had become accustomed to the piercing silence.

“What happened to you being done with talking?” Minho let out an inaudible sigh; he knew that he kind of deserved that one.

“Why are you so mad at me? I wasn’t the only one who messed up when we first met.” Minho’s question was spoken so quietly that Belle almost missed it, but she managed to pick it up. She looked to Minho with disbelief, only to be met with Minho’s large eyes looking back at her with pure curiosity gleaming from them.

“Are you serious?” Minho nodded slowly, and Belle was flabbergasted, “You insulted my mental and physical capabilities, and made me feel like dirt. I know I was late leaving the practice room, but I apologized right then, and you did not. So, sue me for being a bit bitter that one of the best dancers in the company insulted me and called me a fool.” Belle’s admission of his talent did not go unnoticed by the boy.

“One of the best dancers in the company, huh?” His tone was teasing, but he was amazed that anyone thought of him in that light.

“I know you probably hear it all the time- there’s no need to rub it in my face. Plus, out of my whole spiel, that is all you got?” Belle wanted to be mad, but for some reason she struggled to keep the beginnings of a smile off her face. This was frustrating for Belle, as she desperately wanted to stay mad at him; he had insulted her pride and her self-worth, which had him worthy of her spite in Belle’s eyes.

“You know, I thought you were insulting me before we even spoke to each other.” Minho cast his gaze to the ground as he admitted this to the girl. Belle’s eyes widened in confusion and she immediately looked to the boy, who refused to return her gaze. She was puzzled as to why he thought such a thing, but luckily for her, Minho kept talking to explain further, “It is probably stupid, but I thought you refusing to leave meant you thought I wasn’t worthy of even trying to improve?” His statement came off as more of a question than anything else. It was clear that he was questioning himself.

“I never thought that. I was actually going to try to leave early to stay out of your way, but I got caught up. I was kind of scared to meet you. I mean, you’re talented and well known and I didn’t want to embarass myself.”

“You’re talented too. I hear it from everyone. That was partially why I came to that conclusion. I mean, I thought the praise may have gone to your head and you thought you could just stay.”

“I’m sorry I made you think that.” Belle was a bit ashamed. She didn’t take into account his innermost feelings that were driving the feud. He had valid reasons that she inadvertently and confirmed to be true. It broke her heart to know she hurt someone in such a way.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked to you so harshly. And I’m sorry for provoking you as much as I do.”

“I’m just as guilty of that as you, and I am sorry too.” Belle and Minho both had big smiles on their faces.

“Wanna start over, maybe?” Minho shot Belle a hopeful grin and Belle was ecstatic to see an emotion of his directed at her that wasn’t negative.

“I was already planning on it. I’m Belle. It’s nice to meet you.” Belle walked over and pulled the boy up from his sitting position.

“I’m Minho, it is indeed a pleasure m’lady.” Minho did a mock bow similar to how one would centuries ago, and he kept a pure smile on his face to show he meant no harm. “Now, since we are still stuck here, what do you say we learn a dance together?”

“That sounds wonderful.”

Hours later, Chan, Woojin, and Changbin made their way back to the still locked practice room. They had left to give the two the time and privacy they needed, and were anxious to see what awaited them.

“What if Minho escaped and left her there?” Changbin had been listing off various impossible scenarios on the long walk back, which made the other two begin to grow as concerned as he was. “I’m telling you, we should have stayed to make sure nothing got out of control.”

“I’m sure they’re fine. Besides, if anyone could escape it wouldn’t be Minho. Belle is crafty, she would trap him in there if she could.” The trio laughed at Woojin’s remark, knowing Belle’s drive and ambition often led her to do spiteful and crafty things like the proposed scenario. 

“She would-” Chan was cut off by a loud thud that reverberated through the halls. The only room it could have come from was the one with their friends trapped inside. They looked to each other with worry-filled features before sprinting to the door. They looked through the window in shock to see Belle sprawled out on the floor with Minho laughing at her. Their concern only grew, and they barged in as soon as they unlocked the door. Minho looked at the three with surprise written on his face. Though, before they could begin questioning him on what happened, Belle, having not heard them yet, began speaking to Minho.

“I swear, if you drop me one more time you’re going to get it. It’s a simple lift! I swear, you’re a mess.” She pounced up and grabbed him by the shoulders before pulling him into a headlock and messing up his hair, as one would do with an annoying sibling.

“Yah, stop that! It is a hard move! And also, we have company sweet-cheeks.” Minho said in between laughs and whilst struggling to breathe through the girl’s harsh, but loving, hold on him. Belle stopped instantly to see the three intruders with dropped jaws and wide eyes. They had not expected the two to be so affectionate in such little time. 

Changbin snapped out of the surprised haze first and simply chuckled. “I told you my plan would work. I had no doubts whatsoever.” While they began to playfully argue about whose plan it was, Minho and Belle shot each other a look. They skillfully made their way to the door without catching the attention of the bickering trio. They slipped out and locked the door. Minho pulled out his phone to text them.

Minho: When you three stop arguing, we will let you out ;)

The three had still not noticed their phones, as they were too engrossed in the playful banter, and Belle just sighed.

“It isn’t the best payback, but I guess it works.”

“They’ll notice eventually. That is when it is going to get good.” The two continued to laugh and joke as they walked away from the scene with a new friend and a content smile on both their faces.

[outlaw-unicorn]

The dragon!Arthur AU you didn’t know you needed

(and maybe didn’t want either but @eaglepatronus and I had too much fun with this :D)

here be dragons (and charthur)

AcademySenseiIruka

Now I can't stop thinking about a dragon Arthur AU where Charles is the knight sent to slay the dragon. As he searches for the mighty beast, Charles meets and falls in love with a cowboy (Arthur) who it turns out, is the dragon he's hunting. XD

Charles: Is that a tail? Arthur: No. Charles: Sure looks like one. Arthur: No, It's a trick of the light. Charles: ... Arthur: (knocks over a table with his wagging tail) :)

[...]

AcademySenseiIruka 

Ohhhhhh, hers my version.

Arthur's mom was a dragon who tried to live life as a normal human. See, all the dragons in Brittian were hunted to near extinction and she fled to America in search of safety. Eventually she had Arthur, and when Arthur was young an irate drunk tried to kill him and, sensing her child was in danger, she took her true form to defend him. Later, when she was human again, she tried to explain things to her husband. To tell him she really loved him but he wouldn't have it. He shot and killed her.

Arthur then spent years chained to a wall in a deep cellar. That is until two outlaws, Hosea and Dutch found him. They raised him as their own but Arthur was always careful to keep his mothers secret. But one day, when the law was coming down on them, Arthur had no choice but to turn into a dragon and escape. When he landed, Arthur expected to be yelled at. To be disowned or attacked... and though Hosea was frightened, Dutch was excited. He praised Arthur for his abilities and began coming up with ways to use Arthur to rob banks. Eventually the Van Der Linde gang became known for picking up monsters as John Marston, a young Werewolf joined them as well as others cursed with magic.

After years of traveling and robbing banks, Arthur had amassed quite a bounty. And though no one outside the gang knew Arthur's true identity, Dutch had begun to treat Arthur more and more like an animal. Eventually new members of the gang were allowed to use Arthur the same way Dutch had. One day Micah ordered Arthur to attack Strawberry and in the attack Arthur felt something break inside him. He really was a monster. Some bloodthirsty beast that deserved to be hunted and killed. Arthur despised everything about himself... But Charles, a new member of the gang was a psychic. He could hear Arthur's fears and hate and self-loathing. Charles could feel Arthur's heart breaking, his grief for a life of peace he had never known.

Charles then sets out to prove Arthur is wrong about himself. To teach the dragon just how precious and kind he really is. Charles brings to Arthur's attention every good thought he thinks, every kind act he performs. But also he swiftly warns him away of the untrue dark self-deprecating thoughts.

In the process of saving Arthur from himself, Charles begins to fall head over heels for him. It doesn't take long for Charles to discover a steady growing feeling of love, growing in Arthur, is directed towards him.

But as the two fall more and more in love, Dutch and Micah have set their sights on attacking a heavily guarded bank. If they pull it off, they could be set for life, but if they fail, Arthur would be captured... Now it's up to Charles to convince Arthur he is worth more than what Dutch has convinced him he is. That he isn't some monster to be summoned and used, that he is precious and worthy of being protected.

rivendellelve 

Really loving Psychic Charles ♥ :D does that mean, in that universe Trelawny is an actual magician? :D

AcademySenseiIruka 

Gosh, didn't think of that but yes. lol

And Micah is probably able to manipulate thoughts... So in the end, it's down to a battle between Charles and Micah. Micah trying to controle thoughts and Charles being able to break others free because he can feel the true thoughts of a person.

rivendellelve 

Dang, now I'm imagining the big showdown between Charles and Micah.

Maybe Micah has taken over Arthur's mind bc he wants to use him for his plans (and swooping in an a dragon definitely fits his ego) and Charles has to rescue Arthur and then he and Micah are fighting for control :D that would be epic :D

AcademySenseiIruka 

YEAH!!! Charles hasn't noticed Micah even has that abuilitiy untill he tried to sway Arthur into doing the plan by making him bloodthirsty. Arthur can't tell what are his thoughts and what are Micah's but Charles can and tries to stop Micah. During the mental battle, Micah tells Arthur he has taken over Dutch. It enrages Arthur (just as Micah wanted) enough to transform. With Arthur angry, Micah is able to take control but Charles is able to get through to Arthur by reminding him he is kind. that he isn't a monster and that he is loved. Eventually, it breaks Arthur from Micah's intrusive thoughts and Charles is able to protect him.

Together they Kill Micah and when he dies, Dutch is able to break free of Micah's hold as well. Apparently, Dutch been trapped in his own head but still aware of what's going on. Just not able to stop Micah. He apologizes to Arthur for how he has treated him and Arthur forgives him, knowing it wasn't really Dutch all along. The camp goes back to the way it was and they all live happily ever after. It ends with Arthur and Charles cuddling together, both blissfully content... And Arthur realizes he is finally at peace.

(hope it's not too heavy-handed but I think it's a satisfying conclusion)

rivendellelve 

This is the best thing ever! !! Like, I can totally see Micah taunting Arthur and Arthur falling for it even though he knows better and oh the drama Charles desperately trying to get through to Arthur while he's huge (and incredibly dangerous ) dragon ❤❤❤

And the idea that Dutch is conscious but unable to break free! ! (Have been playing around with a demonic possession story in my head for a bit that was kinda like that bit your Micah-version is way better ) Probably really gets him thinking about how he acted before that people didn't notice he was being controlled He probably changes for better after that

Now I imagine the gang actually settling down somewhere peaceful Like everyone gets on Arthurs back and they fly somewhere far away from Pinkertons in the dead of night Maybe they start a farm. Mangoes may or may not be involved 😁

AcademySenseiIruka

GASP... MICAH IS A DEMON!!! It would explain is mind manipulation and also give him other abilities, so no one would suspect him with controlling people. Maybe Micah is pretending to be a warlock or something? Like he can make things explode. But he hides his mind manipulation abilities because the more unaware you are the more effective it is.

Also, Flying off on "taxi" Arthur is the new best ending. They fly off to Tahiti and that's is where Arthur and Charles cuddle etc. If you want to write this it's all yours. I would love to see this as a full story but can't... plus you are the better writer. But no pressure. It's just fun to brainstorm.

rivendellelve

Oh boy, I would love to write it (even more so I really want to read it) but there is no way I have the time and energy for such a long story 😅 But sharing ideas is so much fun

Speaking of not-so-Warlock Micah, I'm thinking one of the other gangmembers is an actual warlock (maybe one of the girls) and they're something's off about Micah but mindcontrolled Dutch is like noooo, the poor man has just been through a lot

Also I remember reading something about a dragon whose treasure are his friends instead of gold and I can't stop thinking bout how the gang means everything to Arthur So when people go on a trip he's always lowkey clingy Like you'll be back soon, right? And lots of stay safe's

When Dutch and Hosea found out he was a dragon they got him some gold and were very confused when he more or less ignored it

Hosea got a bit teary eyed once he realized what was going on

AcademySenseiIruka

Awwww, I love that! Arthur is so precious as a person hoarder! And he probably doesn't even realize it and Hosea never brings it up to him cause he doesn't want Arthur to be embarrassed. (cause at this point its instinct and he can't really stop it)

Gasp, it would also explain why Arthur is sooooo angry with John when he leaves! It's not just that john left the gang it's that one of his treasures left. lol

Hosea would have the ability to see the future but because of Micah, his visions have been confusing lately. He keeps seeing Micah as a murderous dragon but Hosea says nothing cause he doesn't want Arthur to think he thinks Arthur is a monster. (also in the game Hosea says a lot of prophetic stuff, so it would fit)

Grimshaw would straight up be a witch. lol

(also, cause I didn't mention it before, Micah controls Arthur during the Strawberry attack. Arthur just doesn't figure it out until the battle with Micah at the end. Its why he got all bloodthirsty and why he enjoyed killing. Micah's influence taking over is why he felt broken.)

rivendellelve

yes to all of this!! i love Hosea being clairvoyant1! It fits sooooo well with canon. and just imagine - Dutch usually would accept Hosea's advice without question but suddenly Hosea's abilities don't work properly anymore and he can't fulfil his role as an adisor the same way as before. So Hosea thinks that's why Dutch isn't listening to him anymore

and he has no idea Micah is responsible for both.

and of course Micah controlled Arthur during the attack. Micah probably figured a high-stress situation such as this would be a perfect opportunity to test how far he could push Arthur with the level of control he already had over him

Grimshaw being a witch is awesome :D I'm pretty sure whenever someone was getting sick, she'd send Arthur to gather some herbs that she sneakily added to Pearson's stew. and what would've been a fulllblown pneumonia just ended up being a minor cold :)

also, can Uncle be a a satyr / pan? that way he could claim lumbago and goatlegs as reasons why he can't work :D

AcademySenseiIruka

Yes to everything! OMG, It's amazing how well this AU is fitting the canon. lol

I think Marry should be half muse. But she doesn't want to be someone's inspiration, she wants to be an author.

Molly should be some high elf princess runaway. Cuse it fits her personality.

Going back to what you said about one of the girls being a warlock... well I read a story a long time ago about this warlock who's magic was stronger the drunker he got. So Karen? Like usually she's just a normal human but when she gets drunk things start to levitate.

I keep wondering what Dutch would be. He needs to be something impressive because his overconfidence would be why he never suspected Micah when he should have. But nothing is really coming to mind.

Can Duffy be a Centar? lol

Maybe Sean would be a tall leprechaun? or is that too much? lol Nymph maybe?

rivendellelve

:D :D :D drunk Karen OMG I can totally imagine her being completely hammered and the most random things start happening. (and actually she's even more powerful sober but trauma and lack of confidence has her convinced she needs to be drunk to be able to use her powers)

and I love Mary-Beth deciding to be her own muse and not somebody elses :D

I think Sean tells everyone he's a leprechaun bc that's what people assume and what random a-holes on the street yell after him. but actually he's a Selkie :D

and Kieran is definitely a centaur. that's why he's so good with horses :D

Maybe Abigail is a Medium? and can talk to spirits? she's been making a living like that but bc there are so many fakes she has to resort to cheap tricks like levitating candles to make people believe her. (she tried a show with Karen once and it worked like a charm. Until drunk Karen started to sing ring dang doo :D)

but Dutch is difficult indeed. I am almost tempted to give him either no abilities - fitting the theme of him raging against society even though being born upperclass / upper middleclass. only this time he's like society'll never accept us "monsters" even though he's the only one that isn't

or make him a vampire. bc his ego would definitely fit - vampires being quite canny in the art of mindmanipulation themselves. He'd be so sure no one could ever control him that he only realizes once it's too late. he probably has Pearson or maybe Strauss make him some special ointment so he can stay out in the sun

AcademySenseiIruka 

I love both your ideas for Dutch for different reasons. Love him being a normal human (or norm) I don't know why. I think it's cause it somehow fits his personality to be some average person but how he carries himself is what gives him power and authority. It also makes him being in charge more of an illusion. That said, I also love the Vampire idea. Perhaps one that feeds on animals, not people? I just think high honor Dutch wouldn't feed like that. But once Micah gets involved maybe he would. That could be one of the warning signs for Arthur and Hosea.

I think Lenny should be an apprentice of some kind. Cause he's young he doesn't know quite what he want's to be yet so he's kinda a jack of all trades.

Speaking of Jack, with his dad being a werewolf and mom being a medium, would Jack be both or would he have the abuility to talk with animals? Like comunicate with animal spirits etc?

rivendellelve

OOOOh Micah is the one who starts convincing Dutch to feed on O'Driscolls and Skinners and Lemoyne raiders bc they're "basically doing the world a favor" and it goes downhill from there

maybe Lenny was training to become a magician when his dad was killed and he never completed his training but Trelawney decides to teach him a thing or two

and Jack can definitely talk to animals :D it might not be clear enough for real sentences but he gets pretty good impressions and can like, ask a bunny for the nearest clover field and he'll know the direction and have a pretty good idea of how far away it'll be :D

AcademySenseiIruka

XD Yes, Jack would be their best scout. lol Also, Dutch would just have him talk to bunnies and deer to find the safest places to camp.

So this got out of hand :D but it was too much fun not to share. Maybe definitely we’re hoping someone goes and writes dragon!Arthur fic :D

(and if you do it would be awesome if you dropped the AO3 link or tagged us)

link to complete thread https://archiveofourown.org/comments/277788937

[yfere]

Bowlgate and Beyond! The Empire Kids Learn How To People.

So who wants an opinion on Bowlgate and Yussa’s Tower, forever after the fact??????? Ahahahha!!!! For once, though, I actually did a bit of research into what other people have been saying about these things, so I at least have some idea of the general discussion, though it’s admittedly not the most comprehensive idea. #INeverSayAnythingNew #PleaseForgiveMe #I’mJustHavingAGoodTime. Anyway, this is a two-part series of mine.

Thesis: Caleb and Beau were understandably terrible at communicating, and communicating with each other specifically at Bowlgate. Yet they are progressively getting much better (I would say pretty damn good!) at handling people in general and each other, even as they continue to have arguments.

Part 1: Wherein Caleb Learns Most People Aren’t Mind Readers

Caleb was just not cut out for cooperative group work—at least, not at the start of the story. At the Labenda Swamp, Nott gives him a magic bowl, and he discovers this is a super dangerous artifact that can be used to commune with Tiamat, an Evil Calamity God. The one person who is personally interested in this item is someone he met only hours before, with some sob story about being part of a Tiamat Cult (alarms ringing!) and wanting to find artifacts like this to “destroy them.” Caleb is suspicious, he’s cautious—justifiably so, in his opinion. He feels it’s anyone’s responsibility as someone who doesn’t want to be Evil to make absolutely, unquestionably sure that by helping this person they are not aiding and abetting the promotion of Tiamat’s influence in the world. He concludes that the only way to be sure this person is telling the truth about their intentions is to use Jester’s Zone of Truth to confirm. (If only he still had Suggestion, his favorite spell for these situations!) If they can get Caliana to camp with them, perhaps he can discuss it all with the group privately…..except, Caliana is dead-set on leaving right that second, and won’t stay to camp. So Caleb is left with two choices:

1) Say nothing, and keep the bowl. Nott would never tell the others if he asked her not to, if he really thought keeping it was best. Problem is, then they would have to figure out how to destroy the item themselves, and they’d be endangering the group since the cult is out looking for it. That’s not fair, Caleb’s already been reprimanded for withholding items before, and besides, Caliana could really be telling the truth, could really be the person best suited for destroying these items. Option #1 just won’t work, which in his mind leaves him with

2) Deal with the trust problem right then and there.

Knowing that Caliana is gifted with magic and that he himself is delicate, Caleb thinks, I believe, well, she could turn on us and attack me and leave with the bowl once she sees it and if she doesn’t want to submit to questioning. He decides the only reasonable thing to do is to put a barrier between her and the bowl without her knowing that’s exactly what he’s doing. It’s the same kind of reasoning that eventually leads to Caleb’s Wall of Fire in Darktow. ((funny that hoarding other people’s stuff is his defining trait. saving the world one stolen item at a time, lmao))

So, with the group safely(ish) walling Caliana from the bowl, he reveals it! And the group loudly tells Caliana about it! And he says, basically, I don’t trust you with a powerful item, and you should let us hold you hostage for an evening and let Jester cast magic on you so that your trustworthiness can be confirmed.

To which the party goes, what the fuck, Caleb?!

What the fuck are you saying, without consulting anyone on the matter?! That’s not teamwork???!!?!? Who do you think you are????!?!?!!!

Proper procedure for Caleb would have been to say, one, I don’t want to keep this bowl. This is what the bowl is, this is what worries me about it, this is what worries me about Caliana, and this is what I think we should do—what do you think? Explain reasoning, ask for feedback, collaborate. But Caleb skips through all these steps and goes straight to executing his preferred mode of action, without properly checking in with anyone. He only even begins to explain what the fuck the bowl is (other than “powerful”—vague much?) after Beau takes it away from him and everyone’s hackles are already raised over his behavior. 

So of course it feels manipulative, of course it’s pressuring the group—those are the literal effects of his actions, but I think it’s important to distinguish between Caleb actually trying and intending to manipulate people (Fjord in the Diver’s Grave), and Caleb putting unfair pressure on people as an unintended consequence to an unfortunate assumption of his: that because a course of action seems right to him, that it is self evident—everyone must be thinking the same thing as him, it’s super obvious this is Right, why would anyone ever disagree? “Why would you not want to wait twelve hours to see if this woman’s intentions are true or not?!” he asks, in complete bewilderment. Caleb is genuinely incredulous and surprised when the group starts arguing with him, when Jester suggests that maybe they should let Caliana talk to Tiamat if she wants, when Beau and Molly suggest that it’s really none of their business to interfere with Caliana whether her intentions are true or not—if she does bad shit, why should they take the responsibility to stop her? Will it really affect them? Caleb doesn’t consider at the time that his actions might be controlling and pushed back against because he assumes that the group will all absolutely be in his corner in this thing and that he is acting on their collective interests and desires. What he neglects to do is find out whether he actually knows what their interests and desires are, if they actually agree with him. (((There’s also, of course, Caleb doing Typical Gifted Kid Bullshit #150, thinking “oh, but I’ve thought of everything, this has to be the right and only solution to the problem!” No, you haven’t thought of everything Caleb, STFU. Molly and Yasha both bring up solutions to Caleb’s dilemma that Caleb didn’t think of himself—I can cast Friends, Molly said. I can use my sword and try to break it, Yasha said. These are both things Caleb might have come to know if he cared to, say, consult the group before going off at Caliana with his Plan.)))

But why is Caleb so confused at the negative reaction, so thrown for a loop by disagreement? This fascinates me. At this point, you see, Caleb is……not used to being around people with different opinions than him. I mean, conjecturing from his backstory of Mega Propaganda Brainwashing and Conformity, not to mention the Only Child business—it’s quite likely he’s never (or not in a long time) in fact had to deal with a serious difference in opinion before—certainly not one among peers, where authority and power structures aren’t at play. He also definitely hasn’t spent much time around people from different walks of life, who would have different values and life experiences and worldviews from him. He’s always been fairly isolated, 24/7 around people who were trained to think and make decisions in exactly the same way he did, with everyone else being Wrong and an Enemy. Where there was a premium on Obedience—child to parent, student to teacher, patient to doctor. More recently he’s been around Nott, who at this point in the story is also just agreeing with everything he says and not really challenging that assumption. Arguing over gloves and scrolls and bowls—that’s probably new stuff to him. He’s finding out in an ugly way that he can’t project what others are thinking, people don’t think exactly the same way he does, and he doesn’t know how to collaborate in decision making the way he obviously needs to to survive in the group. He doesn’t know how to handle disagreement in any other way than caving in and Following Orders and Keeping the Peace, and he definitely doesn’t know how to handle a disagreement when caving in is no longer a useful strategy, when the cost of caving is, to him, unacceptable.

“You’re a shitty communicator” is actually some of the most useful feedback he could have possibly gotten out of the situation. What is most important for Caleb to learn to do at this point is learn to explain his thinking in detail before he acts in ways that will affect the others, to stop assuming everyone will think in exactly the same way he does, to present his opinion as an opinion rather than The Undisputable Obvious Truth. He needs to learn how to advocate for a course of action and genuinely brainstorm on issues (he has good ideas, but he doesn’t know everything!) instead of either Winning the Argument or Obeying Others. What’s great to see is that Caleb is getting better at all of these things. Compare what he’s doing with the bowl with his planning strategies post-Felderwin. At this point, Caleb has become fairly comfortable in his preferred role as an advisor and source of information. He doesn’t plainly defer to the group without contributing, and he’s careful now about prefacing his opinions with his concerns and reasoning, with saying “I think this because X,” and then asking for others’ opinions. To paraphrase the moorbounder suggestion, he says, “My concern is, and this is not a dealbreaker, but what if we learn Yeza is on the chopping block, and we don’t have enough time to get to him?” which does three things: 1) presents his opinion as an opinion, 2) explains the reason why he thinks it’s a good idea to get the moorbounders and he’s concerned about the “working for the Krynn” idea without assuming everyone already thought of this and his conclusions are obvious, and 3) asks a question that solicits the opinions of the rest of the group. Nice growth, Caleb! When you do this people can actually work together and address your concerns! Caduceus floats letting the city government know what they want ahead of time, they discuss whether the government would have access to teleportation or sending spells, they talk about how much danger Yeza is probably in and how they can determine whether the government can be relied on to follow through on a favor, how they could safely frame their favor. They agree at the very least to prepare to book it on the moorbounders as Plan B—if the job is too long or Yeza gets in trouble or the favor can’t be relied on, they leave. That’s collaboration at work!

Even when the disagreements are personal, Caleb does a much better job at explaining himself and debriefing, though he isn’t perfect. Post-Yussa’s tower, he does a fairly good job explaining why he refused to do what Beau asked of him in the moment. He also does a fairly good job explaining why he wasn’t exactly giddy to go there, though he doesn’t directly address Beau’s line of questioning (she wants to know what about Yussa makes Caleb think he’s tied to Trent specifically—since she thinks that would justify his fear). Instead, he tries to justify his Absolute Caution With Powerful Mages Philosophy by painting a frightening, gory picture that offends Beau and pokes at her own insecurities—does he not believe in her friendship? And Caleb tries to acknowledge that he as Beau are talking at cross purposes and explain himself more but eventually becomes so frustrated and overwhelmed with the misunderstanding that he begins snapping and storms off to scream at a tree. More useful things to do would have been to ask for a break, or to ask Beau to explain what exactly she was feeling so he could address what was bothering her about what he said instead of trying to brute force get his point across through arguing and fright. The point is though, that he’s trying, when he wasn’t before. He’s getting better, their relationship is getting better, and honestly it’s pretty wonderful to watch.

Next is Part 2: Wherein Beau Learns Assumptions are for Chumps

[meltypes-blog]

peadpod mchanzo week day 3

[mr. krabs voice] day 3, give it up for day 3! Also, this is a college au because I’m weak for those and young mchanzo is cute

3. Secret Admirer | ao3 link |

Jesse normally wasn’t the type to get flustered. His mama had told him that since he was 4, his three defining characteristics were cute, charming, and shameless. Growing up in a loving and accepting family had given him the right ingredients to bake into that particular mix, but when his mama passed ten years after, and the collectors came after his Pa’s farm, those particular traits rotted and left a bad taste in his mouth. Cute and charming didn’t get him out of the orphanages quick enough, so he ran. At 17, before his new dads swooped in and grabbed his ass out of the fire, his gang buddies described him as quick, deadly, and reckless. It showed in his steady trigger finger, the unnerving accuracy of his aim, the lopsided smiles and toothy smirks. But all the swagger and confidence from his misguided teenage years were particularly missing from his mug shots; a single heist inevitably gone wrong, most of his ‘family’ dead yet again, and half a missing arm later were enough to sober him entirely.

His new dads….they tried not to define him. When they got to him, he was hollow. Quiet. Sad. As hardened war vets, they’d seen some shit, so they knew a little bit in dealing with what Jesse had gone through. They brought Jesse home with them after a grueling two years in court, though Jesse never did get a clear reason why. Gabe told him that he’d seen something in Jesse. Jack joked that he was blind, so he just went along with whatever Gabe saw. They helped heal him by letting him be, doing the opposite when his mistakes hit him hard and left him gasping at night, and encouraging him to believe in himself just as fervently as they did.

Now, at 24, GED under his belt and close to graduating with a bachelors in investigative journalism, Jesse had proudly improved upon his mama’s words. Cute turned into roguishly handsome, his shamelessness transformed into easy-going confidence, and his charming demeanor- well, that was a welcome fixed trait. But despite the fact that no one had ever called Jesse smart aloud, he wasn’t dumb. Any smart person could see that there was more to the man than a cowboy hat and smiles, and that you didn’t get a prosthetic arm and criminal record by riding a horse (unless, of course, you were a bandit from the 18th century). Even dumber people didn’t know what to make of Jesse, most of the time caught off guard when it turned out he wasn’t a complete idiot. In conclusion, no, Jesse didn’t think he was desirable in the long-term, romantic sense of things, despite his many trysts and conquests, so he put it out of his mind.

At least, that was the case, until the fourth flower delivery.

“Again, Reeha?” Jesse asked, face hot as she dropped a sunflower in his hands. “You’re not doing this as a joke right?”

His RA leant against the open doorway of his dorm with crossed arms and snorted. “I’m a college student, Jes. Flowers are expensive. If I wanted to prank you, I could just put a bucket on your door.”

“Zero points for creativity.” He responded, thumbing the back of the card attached to it. He flipped it over, getting significantly redder at the note.

Fareeha snickered. “What’s it say, loverboy?”

Jesse knew she wasn’t going to leave until he told her (she hadn’t for the last two deliveries) so he cleared his throat and read. “‘You are as brilliant as when the sun rises, you bring me warmth as its beams do. Your smile is just as bright. Thank you for existing.’”

“Aw, Jesse.” Fareeha gave him a genuine, wide smile. “Whoever that is has really lost it over you.”

His chest fluttered. “Nah, this is- it’s a joke. Someone here has just got a sick sense of humor.” He looked back to her. “Do you have any idea who it might be?”

“Jes, half the people on this floor are pretty much into you,” she responded, rolling her eyes. “It’s the cowboy hat, probably.”

Jesse chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Wait ‘til I bust out the chaps, that’ll get everyone hot and bothered.”

“It sounds genuine, though,” she said, frowning at his tone. “You’ve just gotta put your degree to use. Do some investigating.” She clapped his shoulder and stood up. “You’re good at that.”

The wheels in Jesse’s head started turning. “Do you know who puts ‘em on your desk?”

Fareeha shrugged. “Satya brings them in from the mailroom, and I’ve asked her who delivers them there, but she says she doesn’t know. Just that there’s a sticky note to have them brought to you.”

“Huh.”

After a bit more brainstorming, Fareeha waved her goodbye and left Jesse in his door, flower clutched in his good hand. He went inside, thumbing the soft petals gently, a plan developing in his head.

He was going to find whoever this was.

“Maybe they do not want to be found.”

Jesse snorted into his coffee. He and Hanzo were seated in the campus coffee shop, taking a break from an especially grueling math homework session. Jesse had first met him in his second semester Research Writing class, which, much to Jesse’s surprise and Hanzo’s embarrassment, the other man was failing. Their professor had insisted Hanzo visit Jesse for tutoring (which, up until his junior year, he did as a work-study student), and the two hit it off. The pair (sometimes with the addition of Hanzo’s younger brother) met up regularly for study sessions, finding that they worked well together despite their differing majors.

Jesse raised his brows. “Then why do they send them in the first place?”

“Perhaps they get off on buying flowers for cowboys,” Hanzo smirked.

“Gross Han,” Jesse laughed, wrinkling his nose. Hanzo smiled and Jesse felt his insides warm, a pleasant syrupy feeling in his gut.

This….thing he started feeling for Hanzo wasn’t a new development. He only needed to spend four months in Hanzo’s presence to become infatuated, though he ignored it for the most part, reasoning that shallow appreciation for an attractive man was nothing worth exploring. Then the man got a haircut, pierced himself up, changed his major to what he was actually passionate about, and Jesse’s heart was a goner. What he felt was honestly too childish to be called a crush and the other option scared the hell out of him, because even after knowing Hanzo for 2 years, he still had trouble figuring out if the man was seriously flirting or not.

“But really,” Jesse continued, “it seems a bit….I don’t know. Weird.”

Hanzo raised a brow. “You do not enjoy the attention?”

Maybe if it was from you, Jesse thought unhelpfully. “‘S not that, it’s just….I never thought I’d get romanced like this. Flowers.” He chuckled. “What’s next, chocolates? A full bouquet?”

Hanzo’s eyes got that strange glint in them Jesse had been noticing lately. “Is that something you would like?”

“Oh, hell no, that’s a bit much to be coming from a stranger,” Jesse said. He leant forward. “You got any idea who it could be?”

Hanzo’s face fell flat. “You have many admirers, Jesse. Many find you attractive, you know this.”

“You sayin’ I’m good looking?” He teased, smiling at Hanzo’s eye roll.

“I am saying,” Hanzo smirked, “Many people lack taste.”

Jesse barked a laugh. “Right where it hurts, Han. Your aim is unerring.”

“You just make it too easy,” he replied. “Speaking of,” he tapped his notebook, “we should finish these equations.”

Jesse groaned. “Easy for you, Mr. Math Major. Some of us are better with words than numbers.”

“Oh, I am well aware of that,” he chuckled. “But why you would choose a math course for your last elective if you hate it so much is beyond me.”

Jesse just smiled. “I like a challenge.”

The fifth flower arrived during Jesse’s investigation. He made his way down to the dorm mailroom, deciding to ask Satya herself if she knew anything essential.

She scoffed at Jesse’s question, putting her cell phone down. “Why would I keep the sticky notes? They are trash once their duty is fulfilled.”

Jesse sighed. There went his first lead.

“Okay,” he said. “But did you get a look at the handwriting? Was it neat? Messy?”

Satya considered the question. “Well….all of them were written in capital letters.”

“Hm.” Jessed hummed. “And….no one else gets flower deliveries?”

“Not that I have seen, no.” She smirked slightly, picking her phone back up. “It seems you have a secret admirer, McCree.”

He sighed again, pink in the face. “Seems that way.”

It didn’t help much, but he thanked her anyways, heading out into the hall. He closed the mailroom door behind him and exhaled, exasperated. He didn’t really think that asking about the sticky notes would help, but it was the first thing that came to his mind to check. He stepped forward- and almost tripped when he realized there was something on the ground in front of him. His heart pounded when he bent down to look closer.

“No way,” he breathed, picking up the single pink rose. He straightened quickly, looking to his left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of someone, anything, but the hall was empty save for himself and the dorm event bulletin board. He looked to the card and laughed softly.

“They did not have red ones, so I hope you are fine with pink. It reminds me of the times you are silly, blushing and happy. I wish you many more moments like that.”

Jesse would’ve written the secret gifts off as insincere if they’d called him sexy or complimented his ass, but the notes were always heartfelt and profound. The first, paired with a camellia, had regaled his beauty, declaring that “the depths of which are rivaled only by that of the oceans.” The second, attached to a sweet smelling gardenia, paid homage to his intelligence; “an incomparable mind” and “a smart mouth to match a smart man.” The third came with a red carnation, calling him kind-hearted and wonderful; “you inspire me to be my best.” The strangest part was that each delivery had happened in the span of a single month, each floral arrival erratic and unpredictable. The timing made little sense too: February was three months ago, and his birthday was in December. Jesse brainstormed the motivations himself but decided that they were 100% genuine, the other option being that it was an elaborate prank before grad. Most of his friends were too busy with finals or too short on cash. Jesse trudged back to his room, placing the flower in the same vase near the window as the previous ones and the note in the small ornate box on his desk that held the others, deciding to enact the next part of his investigation the following weekend.

Now, Jesse usually liked Genji, considered him a brother even- but right now, he felt like throwing him to the wolves. The green-haired bastard was cackling loud enough to draw the attention of almost everyone in the coffee shop to their small corner; he found Jesse’s floral predicament particularly funny. Jesse looked to Hanzo for help, but the man just gave him a toothy smile and shrugged.

“So, you have no idea who it could be?” Genji asked, after having calmed. “Not a single inkling?”

Jesse’s eyes flitted briefly to Hanzo (he immediately squashed that hope down, Hanzo didn’t seem like the flower giving type) before he turned to Genji. “I wouldn’t be askin’ for your help if I did, ninja.”

“Some investigator you are,” Genji snorted.

He pointed to him. “Hey now, I just haven’t finished looking around yet. I’ve got a plan.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Hanzo spoke, sounding amused.

“Well,” Jesse started confidently, settling back into his seat,” it’s gotta be someone on campus right? And the flowers gotta come from somewhere. So I sussed out the location of every flower shop in the area- which there are three of, by the way- and I plan on bringing the notes and asking around. They’re bound to know something.”

Genji hummed appreciatively and Hanzo balked.

“How do you know they didn’t order them in advance? Or that they would remember their patrons?” Genji gave his brother a weird look at the question while Jesse chuckled.

“No one has the time for advanced orders during finals. Plus, it seems like these gifts were a last minute kinda thing, because there’s no pattern to the delivery times. And if my hunch is right,” Jesse leaned forward conspiratorially,” it’s probably someone I know.”

Hanzo’s face seemed to go through a myriad of emotions before smoothing over into a blank expression. “You truly are intelligent, then.”

“I know,” Jesse grinned cheekily, feeling proud.

Genji let out a choked noise at something and stared incredulously at Hanzo. Then at Jesse. Then back to Hanzo.

“Jesse. You really can’t guess? Really?” Genji’s eyes were pleading.

Jesse furrowed his brow. “If you know something I don’t, the help is appreciated.”

Genji muttered something in Japanese and stood up suddenly, grabbing his bag. “No. I don’t know anything, apparently. If you will excuse me, I’m going to go somewhere else before I throw up.” He turned a devious smile to Hanzo, who sat uncharacteristically frozen. “I will talk to you later, brother.” Then he was gone.

“Well, that sounded foreboding,” Jesse commented to a strangely flushing Hanzo. “Did you catch what he said under his breath?”

“No,” Hanzo answered quickly. He stood up too. “I- I have to go. Satya needs my help with a project.”

“Oh.” Jesse sat back disappointed. “Okay. See ya later, then.”

Hanzo gave him a tense smile before he hurriedly departed. Finals week, Jesse decided, was a bitch.

The sixth flower was thankfully delivered in person.

He woke up that morning feeling motivated, ready to find the mystery person behind the roses. His trip to the first floral shop wasn’t what he expected, considering it closed down 5 years ago and sat on the side of the road as a sad, dilapidated building (thanks, Google)- but he wasn’t deterred. The second shop, however, didn’t yield satisfactory results either. He showed the owner the notes, and much to his embarrassment, she said that they didn’t even use the same cards or ribbon as the ones the stranger gave him.

“Whoever it was probably made them themselves,” she said, eyes twinkling. “That’s so sweet!” Jesse mechanically nodded his agreement, said his thanks, and left feeling flustered at the situation all over again. Handmade note cards. Maybe they really didn’t want to be known.

So found Jesse on his way to the last floral shop- Bastion’s Bouquets- and losing all semblance of hope. He pushed the door open, bell ringing overhead, and was instantly assaulted by the sweet aroma of flora.

Flowers ranging from roses to calla lilies to desert flowers crowded on shelves that stretched to the ceiling. Long vines and leaves from medium sized palms and ferns leaned over Jesse’s head as he traversed deeper into the store, reaching the counter. It was colorful, and wonderful, and Jesse began to wonder if he was in the wrong line of work at the sight of a bright pink bougainvillea trailing along the wall behind the cashier’s desk.

“Howdy,” he called to the empty space in front of him, resting his hands on the wood. “Anybody in?”

A clatter of noise and a curse responded. Then, in a strange accent:

“Be right out!”

Jesse took to looking around as he waited, exclaiming in pleased surprise as he found a small bird hiding among a gorgeous display of hyacinths. It chirped quietly as it settled in Jesse’s outreached hand and fluffed its wings. Jesse cooed and it tilted its head, chirping louder as he rubbed a finger down its back.

“Ganymede, stop begging for attention. The name is Torb, what can I do for you, son?”

Jesse turned to find a short- very, very short- man behind him. He had a mechanical arm, a fake eye, and was wearing a pink apron with the store name and a cartoon robot on the front. Jesse immediately liked him.

“Ah, well, ya see,” he muttered, struggling to get the notecards out of his back pocket with his prosthetic, not wanting to jostle the bird. “I got- aha! I got these cards along with a bunch of different flowers over the past month and was wondering if they were ordered from you, or if you remembered who ordered them.”

Torb took the cards from Jesse’s hand, sifting through them. His ears grew hot as the short man chuckled and raised a brow at him.

“Sounds like someone really likes you, eh?”

Jesse cleared his throat, cheeks flaming. “I mean, it could be a prank. Haven’t gotten rid of that possibility.”

Torb laughed harder and handed the cards back to Jesse. “I, for one, think you should throw that thought out the window. What were the flowers?”

Jesse told him and Torb rubbed his chin.

“Well,” he started. “We do carry all of those.”

Jesse felt a surge of hope.

“But carnations, camellias and roses are popular ones, and we haven't sold any sunflowers recently. I would remember that.” He gave Jesse a sympathetic look. “‘M sorry lass, I can’t help you there.”

Jesse’s stomach plummeted and he sighed. Ganymede chirped softly and flew away to the back room, probably to eat or sleep. He looked at Torb imploringly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Are there any other flower shops around here that have the same selection you do?”

Torb shook his head. “Afraid not. Otherwise, we would be out of business.”

Jesse nodded and said his thanks, ready to give up when Ganymede came flying back out, a small slip in her talons. She landed on Torb’s shoulder and dropped the paper into his open hand.

“Ah! That’s right, it almost slipped my mind!” He said, reading through it. He looked back up to Jesse with a toothy grin, waving around what looked like a receipt. “Seems I was wrong. There is one other place that carries the same selection we do, though it only orders a small amount from our stock.”

The supermarket. Why hadn’t he thought of that?

Jesse had walked by the flower freezer in there every time he shopped, but he never paid it enough attention for its presence to register in his head. He ran hurriedly from Torb’s shop to the market a few blocks over, hope swelling. It was getting late, the sun almost finished setting, and he knew the store was going to be closed in a couple of hours. He would get in there, and he would- well, he would look and- huh.

Jesse slowed to a jog, coming to a stop in front of the store. He frowned, realizing he had no plan. What would he do? Rather, what could he do? Too many people went in and out, and it’s not like a chain market would take note of each customer that bought sunflowers. He swallowed, feeling his hope shatter yet again.

He could….stake the place, he guessed. But his admirer obviously knew what he looked like, and loitering was still considered a crime. He was about to walk inside, maybe buy some booze and drown in it, when a voice ripped him from his thoughts.

“Jesse?”

He turned to his right to find Hanzo, looking as attractive as ever in his dark jacket and jeans, with a comically stricken expression on his face.

Jesse wondered what was wrong, until his eyes zeroed in on the package in his hands, and he sucked in a breath.

A bouquet of roses.

Hanzo held the flowers in a tight grip, an entire bouquet of expensive red roses, and Jesse, tired and emotionally charged at the sight, blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“You get off on buying flowers for cowboys?”

Hanzo turned red and made an audible noise in the back of his throat, taking a step backward, away from him.

He’s gonna run, Jesse suddenly realized, and he raised his hands in apology, a hysterical laugh bubbling in his throat at the relief he felt that it was him, at what this situation had come to.

“Hanzo,” he laughed, slightly breathless, and the man took another step backward. Jesse took a large step towards him and fought down another laugh. “Hanzo, wait.”

“I did not think you would find my affections funny,” he said, looking and sounding hurt.

Jesse sobered instantly, realizing what was at stake, and took those last few steps to reach him. “Hanzo, wait no, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just- this whole time?” He reached for Hanzo’s free hand. “You could’ve just talked to me, hon.”

“I am not good with words,” he responded, looking anywhere but at Jesse. “I know it is childish, but Genji told me that you had never had a serious relationship before, and with you leaving in two months for that job in Gibraltar, I just….”

He sighed, searching Jesse’s eyes. “I wanted to make sure you at least knew that someone cared for you, in that way….still cares.”

Jesse’s heart pounded and he gripped Hanzo’s hand tighter, not knowing what to say. He had Hanzo right where he had wanted him since he first saw him, and he was speechless.

“Okay, here’s the thing.” Jesse decided to lay it all out. “I’ve been in love with you for almost a year now, and if you’re willing, I’d like to try. Gibraltar or not, I’ve been absolutely hopeless for you. If you’ll have me.”

Hanzo lowered his burning face and heaved a deep, shaky breath. Then, he looked up and pressed the bouquet to Jesse’s chest, a small smile making its way onto his face. Jesse held the flowers there with his prosthetic, face burning.

“You said that you wouldn’t take a bouquet from a stranger and I was actually going to give these to you in person, when I found the right thing to say.” He pressed himself closer to Jesse. “I do not have a card this time, so I apologize.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jesse breathed, moving his hand to the small of Hanzo’s back, the roses crinkling between them. “What were you going to say?”

“I love you, too.” Hanzo leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Jesse’s lips, and Jesse brought him even closer, closing his eyes, Hanzo and the scent of roses overtaking him.

After he and Hanzo made their way back to the dorms, the roses (a bit crumpled, but still whole) found their way into the vase near the window, the other flowers pressed safely into a textbook. And when Jesse finally left to Gibraltar, Hanzo sent him off with his seventh- a snapdragon that Jesse snuck in his carry-on. The message on the notecard was pretty much the same as the last one, but it didn’t make him feel any less flustered and happy.

I love you. Come back soon.

[aion-rsa]

Marvel's What If: The Stories We'd Like to See

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The new animated series will show us alternate takes on the Marvel Cinematic Universe's timeline. Here are scenarios for every Marvel movie.

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This Marvel article contains spoilers.

When Disney+ hits, one of the many shows tying into the Marvel Cinematic Universe is What If, set to be on-demand in summer 2021. The show will be animated, albeit using many of the actors from the various MCU movies. Based on the What If comic series, which was created in the '70s, the anthology series has a pretty basic concept: take an important part of Marvel history, zig when the original story zagged, and then write a story out of that.

For instance, the comic had an issue where Spider-Man saw the thief who would eventually kill Uncle Ben run by and figured that stopping him would be good PR. He unknowingly saved Uncle Ben’s life in this scenario, but he didn’t learn any major lesson about power and responsibility. Instead, he became a more self-centered ass whose ego was so out of hand as a media personality that he caused a disgraced J. Jonah Jameson to found the Sinister Six as a revenge ploy.

In the case of the new animated series, the stories will be based on the movies’ continuity. So far, we know that one of them will be about Agent Carter receiving the super-soldier serum treatment instead of Steve Rogers.

That got me thinking about what other stories we can get from the movies. I’ve decided to take every Marvel movie and brainstorm a What If scenario that would work for each. Play along at home! It’s fun!

IRON MAN

What If Tony Stark Died?

The story of the movie ends where it should have begun. Tony Stark and his military entourage are under attack and a bomb goes off near Stark. The shrapnel cuts too close to his heart and there’s nothing that can be done. Obadiah Stane takes over the company. Maybe Pepper, Happy, and/or Rhodey investigate and take him down. Maybe not.

What’s important is that Iron Man can no longer be the focal point of the MCU. Presumably, things are going to get really, really bad. Especially with that time the High Council tried to nuke New York City. Then again, greedy as he is, Stane would be on Earth’s side during that conflict and could probably at least lend some kind of hand.

In a world without Stark, I can’t help but think of what all those villains created BECAUSE of Stark would be like. Imagine Loki conquering Earth and being undone by the likes of Stane, Vanko, Killian, Vulture, and Mysterio. Not Hammer, though. He’d still be a total weasel and would try to betray them at the first attempt.

INCREDIBLE HULK

What If Abomination Joined the Avengers?

A plot thread the MCU movies played with briefly before writing it off in a Blu-ray short was the idea of The Incredible Hulk's Emil Blonsky being roped into joining the Avengers. Obviously, he ended up getting nixed because he kind of went on a big rampage through Harlem, but maybe if things went down differently, he would be found less accountable...at least in the beginning.

Before Bruce Banner gets his treatment from Sterns, he might find out about all the horrible experiments he was working on and that would set off the Hulk. A surviving Sterns would still gladly transform Blonsky, only this time Blonsky would be seen as a hero for putting his body on the line so he can bring down the Hulk. With the military behind him, he’s able to win and keeps his dark side in check enough that he’s able to work with the government and be their personal weapon of mass destruction.

The way I see it, this could go very wrong during the events of Avengers. The team is going to be at each other’s throats as is, but in the original version, they were still good people. When there’s a psychopath in the midst, this can only end badly.

Poor Cap, finding out that this guy is his legacy.

IRON MAN 2

What If Iron Man Wanted to Avenge His Father?

When in doubt, go with the Soviet-controlled alternate reality. Worked for Superman and Valiant Comics. It would certainly work for Iron Man 2. 

In this scenario, Anton Vanko is able to keep his intentions to himself long enough to screw over Howard Stark, bring the arc reactor schematics to the Motherland, and reap the rewards. Ivan lives a life of luxury while Howard Stark becomes a disgraced figure in the American public’s eye, ultimately destroying himself through alcoholism.

This leads to a story where Tony Stark figures out his father's tech in order to wage a war against the Vankos for destroying his family. Add in Justin Hammer as his weasely sidekick and you got a stew going.

THOR

What If Loki Allowed Thor to Be King?

Loki was the first real “villain who was in the right, but went about it the wrong way” of the MCU. At least in the first act. One of the better parts of Thor was that, in the beginning, Thor was a big jerk and Loki was well aware of this. His initial plot was the save Asgard from having to deal with Thor in charge. Said plot gave Thor the character development needed to prove himself worthy while Loki ended up damning himself.

Loki probably could have done himself a better service if he just let it happen. When Thor runs Asgard into the ground, Loki will be there to take over and fix things. Or maybe Thor will just admit that he isn’t fit to lead and hand over the throne. Either way, the big laugh will come from someone telling Loki that if he knew Thor was going to be such a shitty king, why didn’t he do anything about it?

CAPTAIN AMERICA

What If Captain America Survived World War II?

Seems to be one of the easiest ideas. Hell, this was one of the very first issues of the What If comic and even gave us the first iteration of Bucky Barnes as Captain America. So we have Captain America defeat Red Skull in such a way that he doesn’t have to crash the plane and get frozen for a bunch of years at the end of the movie. Instead, Captain America fights through the rest of the war and we don’t have all that awkward finger-pointing that Steve gets for his Endgame epilogue.

read more: The 100 Best Marvel What If Moments

I’d like to see Cap be in the thick of Hydra’s inner-takeover of SHIELD, especially with Bucky still alive and looming in the shadows. Not only am I down for more team-ups between Steve Rogers and Howard Stark, but the idea of Cap being something of an uncle figure to Tony is too great to ignore.

THE AVENGERS

What If Loki Betrayed Thanos?

Recently, Marvel made it an official retcon that, during the events of the first Avengers movie Loki wasn’t 100% himself. Wielding the Mind Stone, he was really being manipulated by Thanos, which is their way of handwaving all the horrible stuff he did so we can more easily get behind him as a protagonist.

This reminds me of Marvel’s Earth X miniseries, which took place in a universe where all the god-type characters were really overly-evolved mutants from another planet who were endlessly powerful but were molded by the beliefs of others. In other words, all the Asgardians are scaling back their power and acting like Asgardians because when they came to Earth, that’s what humans believed them to be. Loki, being all about trickery and mischief, was the one who could see through it all and realized what he truly was.

I want that kind of energy in the Avengers storyline. I want Loki to figure out that he isn’t in full control of his actions. When Thor implores him to join him against the higher power, let Loki piece it together. The image of Loki working with the Avengers against Thanos is a cool one, but the real conflict is figuring out what to do from there. Whether or not he’s on their side, nobody’s going to trust Loki when the plan is presumably, “Let’s use these two Infinity Stones against a guy who has none.”

IRON MAN 3

What If Aldrich Killian Killed Himself?

Iron Man 3 begins with an origin for Aldrich Killian as the third most interesting character to call himself “The Mandarin.” He got to meet Tony Stark briefly at a New Years’ Eve party, Stark lied by offering to meet him on the roof later that night, and it was at midnight that Killian realized that Stark had essentially blown him off. He considered walking off the roof to his death, but was instead inspired to get his shit together and start up a big arms-dealing conspiracy.

Let’s take him out of the picture. There’s no Extremis plot, no drunk actors, no Vice President getting arrested, etc. This also means that Tony doesn’t get grounded. Part of the conclusion of Iron Man 3 is that Tony is able to grow up and move on in a sense.

People often criticize the MCU for ways it's walked back Tony's growth over the years, though. Tony’s attempt to move forward blows up in his face with Ultron, and thanks to his addictive personality, he can’t help but go back to his Iron Man ways and briefly kill his relationship with Pepper. Even in Endgame, he struggles with what kind of man he should be.

Perhaps the lack of Iron Man 3 would hinder his journey in the long run. He doesn’t blow up his armor or get his arc reactor removed. He keeps being as reckless and dedicated as he’s ever been. It costs him his relationships, but does the ends justify the means? How far can a driven Stark go, exactly?

THOR: THE DARK WORLD

What If Jane Foster Discovered Her Worthiness Earlier?

Granted, we don’t know the context of Jane Foster becoming the new Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder, but it’s going to happen in the upcoming movie, it’s happened in the comics, and it even happened in one of the first What If comic issues. Thor: The Dark World is one of the least exciting MCU entries and Natalie Portman peaced out due to how they handled her character, so let’s jump ahead to the Jane-Thor development.

read more: Thor: Love and Thunder - Jane Foster as Thor Explained

Jane’s already in Asgard for the underdeveloped Meet the Parents concept, so the setting is right. Maybe have her wield Mjolnir to save Frigga and see where it goes from there. I don’t know. It’s not like the villains are going to carry this story.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

What If Nick Fury Died?

The threat from Winter Soldier is such a Gordian knot, and thanks in part to Nick Fury’s help, Hydra was defeated in a rather clean way. Take Fury out of the picture. There is no secret resurrection. He’s straight-up dead. Now there’s no finale based on releasing all the SHIELD files to the public and cutting off Hydra’s head.

Captain America and his buddies still defeat Hydra, but it’s messy. Hell, we might even get the Agents of SHIELD crew involved in this one because why not. Alexander Pierce may be killed or at least thwarted, but the story after the fact will be that Captain America is an enemy of the state, creating a variation of his Secret Avengers from Infinity War.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

What If Ronan Destroyed Xandar?

What If was made for this one. Guardians of the Galaxy plays up Ronan’s disdain for Thanos and the possibility of them throwing down. Early on, Nebula warns Ronan that it’s a fight that he cannot win, but is totally on his side when he’s able to wield the Power Stone. It’s promised that once Xandar is wiped out, Ronan is going to go to war with Thanos.

read more: Marvel's What If? Animated Series Coming to Disney+

A full-on villain vs. villain war would be a damn fun episode. Obviously, like an arms race, each side is going to have to try to build themselves up with more Infinity Stones, presumably making it three-on-three by the time the two throw down. Don’t know how the Soul Stone would figure into this, but depending on how close Ronan and Nebula become...PROBABLY not good for Nebula!

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

What If Ultron Wasn’t Corrupted?

More specifically, the question is, “Could it have worked?” The creation of Ultron was Stark’s desperate attempt to protect Earth from a threat that he knew, deep in his heart, was going to come from the skies any day now. Ultron ended up blowing up in his face and caused the Avengers to splinter prior to Thanos’ run for the Stones. Had the plan worked out, Thanos would still need to invade Earth in order to get his hands on the Mind Stone and Time Stone.

As an aside: Thor doesn't know where the Time Stone is, so I figure he'll trust the Mind Stone to remain on Earth under Stark's care because he's already established that he doesn't want to keep two in Asgard.

While the previous entry is more about two villains clashing, this one is about a war between faceless soldiers. Endless dog creatures fighting endless Ultrons or empty Iron Man armors or whatever. Win or lose, this one has the potential to cause more worldwide damage than Thanos’ casual stroll through Wakanda.

ANT-MAN

What If Hank Pym Trusted Hope?

Hank Pym doesn’t choose Scott Lang to be his successor in Ant-Man. Maybe Scott’s still in prison. Or maybe Hope is his first choice after all. Either way, he builds Hope her own Wasp costume for the sake of stopping Darren Cross. She’s hindered by her inferior cat burglar skills but ends up being a bit colder and violent when it comes to ending Cross’ plans.

The real conflict comes in Civil War. Wasp is very much on Captain America’s side, but Tony Stark tries to get through to Hank Pym on the subject. Hank begins to waver, realizing that as much as he’s hated his technology being in the government’s hands, it still might be safer than what Cross had intended. This, in turn, causes Hope to resent her father all over again as the war between heroes commences.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

What If Quicksilver Was Alive?

This is technically more of an Age of Ultron entry, but with a focus on Civil War. Quicksilver is able to save Hawkeye’s life without sacrificing his own. It’s hard figuring out a good switch for Civil War, but including Quicksilver in the mix might be the biggest offset. The shadow of Sokovia would still be looming, but at least he'd be there to help prevent his sister from becoming a black mark on superheroes.

Not only would he help turn the tide in the airport battle, but if Pietro were to be there for the final battle, he’d possibly be able to talk Iron Man down. I mean, Tony Stark is arguably equally or more responsible for the deaths of Pietro and Wanda’s parents than Bucky was for Tony’s parents, but Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are able to move past that. Quicksilver can fix the Avengers before Zemo is able to splinter them.

DOCTOR STRANGE

What If Doctor Strange Used Time Travel to Save Himself?

Stephen Strange takes a look at Dormammu and decides, “Nope!” He’s going to use the Time Stone to prevent the universe from being taken over, but he goes about it in a more reckless way. He rewinds time to the point that he’s able to stop Kaecilius using magic save-states, which he figures takes Dormammu off the board. Deciding that the other magic folks can carry on without him, he then attempts to prevent himself from texting while driving.

Strange continues on with his earlier life, the mega-demon is no longer a threat, and life goes on. Or does it?

Strange was warned that overusing the Time Stone would cause massive repercussions, so things would undoubtedly go very wrong for the Sorcerer Supreme. Bonus points if this relates to Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

What If Ego Raised Peter Quill on Earth?

Ego was never going to be anything other than a monster. Charming or not, he killed a whole lot of his own children as part of his plot to kill just about everyone else in the name of finding his purpose. His redeeming quality was that he had some true love for Meredith Quill, but he didn't love her enough to keep himself from being an outright bastard. He was afraid that his love for her would keep him from achieving his goal, so he killed her in a rather cowardly way for someone so powerful.

I want to see a world where Ego saw things through and stayed with Meredith for good. What kind of person would he have become? I imagine he would have grown old, died of natural causes, and his body would have regenerated on his planet self, presumably with second thoughts on what to do with his powers. It's not too different from the Fantastic Four storyline where they turned Galactus human for a time and showed him the beauty of normal life.

But really, I'd like to see what kind of man Peter would become. I can't imagine he'd be drawn to the stars if his mother had lived longer and he wasn't kidnapped, but cosmic adventure is in his blood. Who's to say?

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

What If Spider-Man Joined the Vulture?

Getting so mad at Tony Stark that you turn into a supervillain is so easy that it seems to happen every other day in the MCU. Sometimes the bad guys even have a point! Hell, Captain America disagreed with him on whether or not to allow Iron Man to blow up Steve's best friend and that caused Cap to become an enemy of the state. It makes you realize that Rhodey's ability to put up with Tony's bullshit is the most amazing superpower of them all.

So in this What If? scenario, when Iron Man strips Spider-Man of his upgrades and gives him a time out in Spider-Man: Homecoming, Peter really loses it. When he's being driven to the homecoming dance, he tells his date's father about how much of a jackass egomaniac Tony is. In this moment of bitching, Toomes sees Peter as less of a threat and more of an opportunity in the form of a kindred spirit. The two end up working together and Vulture succeeds in stealing all that swank hero stuff from Stark's plane.

At first, it's just Peter turning a blind eye to criminal activity out of spite. Just like the OTHER time that happened, it doesn't work out too well for him. Iron Man is able to figure out that Spider-Man had some kind of involvement in the act and uses the Sokovia Accords as reasoning to bring the hammer down on him. Spider-Man escapes, but Vulture dies in the process. There goes another father figure.

Spider-Man decides to prove himself against Iron Man by taking all the stolen tech that Vulture had accumulated and finding worthy people to wield it in the name of starting up an underground, street-level vigilante group.

THOR: RAGNAROK

What If Nebula Killed Thanos?

In Guardians Vol. 2, Nebula is last seen leaving to go slaughter Thanos. We don’t see her until Infinity War, where it’s shown that she failed. Her failure is what helps Thanos realize that Gamora knows where the Soul Stone is and he goes on his rush to get all the Infinity Stones. Let’s just say that Nebula succeeds and kills her adopted father.

Now look to the mid-credits scene from Thor: Ragnarok. Before Thanos' ship arrived, Thor and Loki had an interesting discussion about whether or not Loki can peacefully coexist with Earth’s inhabitants due to the events of Avengers. This possibility would never be explored due to Infinity War suddenly happening.

read more: 20 Uplifting Marvel What If Stories

But without Thanos? We could actually see Thor as a king who isn’t bogged down by PTSD. We can see a Hulk that isn’t at odds with himself. More importantly, we can see how Loki deals with New Asgard. Especially since he happens to have a Tesseract in his possession.

BLACK PANTHER

What If Killmonger Remained King?

Invading Wakanda and succeeding is nigh impossible. You need to have the Infinity Stones or the Phoenix Force to make it happen or else you're going to end up like the Skrulls that one time -- a pile of bodies sent back to space with the message, "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INVADE WAKANDA," written in blood. This is one of those stories.

Killmonger is an angry hypocrite with no foresight. His plan to arm the underdogs of the world will do nothing but create chaos and untold casualties. It won't take long for Wakanda to become a major target. Rather than throw every superhero at the nation, Iron Man goes alone because he thinks his tech know-how could counter that of Wakanda's. While this is going on, Captain America chooses to go on a one-man mission to take down Killmonger after hearing that Bucky has been killed.

The good news is that Cap and Iron Man are able to work together and even work through their differences. The bad news is that neither survives. After such a failure, Nick Fury sends in as many heavy hitters as possible (deciding to hold off on calling in Captain Marvel), but the results are the same. Killmonger's regime stands tall, even though Wakanda is relatively worse for wear. He does find himself fascinated with the remains of Vision, especially the glowing gem on his head, and keeps his head as a trophy.

The dust has cleared and Killmonger finds himself the king of a global warzone. His victory is shortlived as Thanos and his Black Order arrive for the Stones. Before ending Killmonger's life, Thanos does give him credit for wiping out half of Earth's population before Thanos even had the chance.

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR

What If Star-Lord Kept His Anger in Check?

One thing that annoys me is when people cite Peter Quill as the reason why Thanos was able to complete the Infinity Gauntlet. Yes, they were so close to pulling off the Gauntlet, and yes, Star-Lord losing control and punching Thanos in the face screwed that up. I get that.

Here’s the thing: Doctor Strange knew that it would happen and didn’t do anything to prevent it because apparently removing the Gauntlet would have still led to a loss. There was only one possible way things were going to work out and that was everything up to the end of Endgame. Star-Lord’s tantrum made little difference and, it’s possible to say, everyone might have been better off because of it.

What I want to know is why that would have been so bad? How would defeating Thanos in that moment have led to defeat? What kind of possible future did Doctor Strange see?

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

What If Ant-Man Joined the Secret Avengers?

Rather than submit himself to house arrest, Scott Lang sacrifices seeing his daughter in order to hang out with Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon for a few years. This leads to a major juggling act because he’s still going to get that weird vision from Janet, but things will be a million times easier to deal with because he doesn’t have to beat the clock with the Jimmy Woo business and he has his Avengers pals watching his back. Ghost is defeated, Janet is rescued, Hank is grumpy, and Hope has lost her respect for Scott for essentially abandoning Cassie.

Anyway, the most important thing here is that the Avengers no longer think Scott is under house arrest and are able to bring him to Wakanda and people can finally be excited to see that Thanos butt thing happen. Do it, Marvel. Do it, you cowards.

CAPTAIN MARVEL

What If Captain Marvel Killed Ronan?

Being a prequel that deals with the Kree, Captain Marvel features a couple of brief scenes that show Ronan the Accuser as one of the antagonists. As we know, decades later, he and Korath will become rogue soldiers out to exact revenge on the Xandarians. That means that in Captain Marvel, Ronan is protected by plot armor. What If features no such thing, so there’s nothing stopping Carol Danvers from simply blowing up Ronan’s ship instead of intimidating him to escape and fight another day.

As time goes on and Thanos needs villains to do his dirty work, he doesn’t have Ronan on hand. What he does have is the Mind Stone and what Captain Marvel has is a history of being susceptible to mind manipulation. Thanos ends up forcing Captain Marvel into being his enforcer and decides that he doesn’t even need Loki to begin with. Instead, Danvers razes Earth and tears through the Avengers. She also annihilates the Guardians of the Galaxy before they can even get started as a team while securing the Power Stone.

In the aftermath, a surviving Peter Quill is found in an intergalactic bar, drinking through his depression. A man appears before him, claiming to be his father, with the suggestion that maybe learning his true power for the sake of getting revenge on Captain Marvel (among...other things) is Peter’s purpose.

AVENGERS: ENDGAME

What Became of Thanos 2014’s Timeline?

As I already mentioned, Endgame is the only possible version of the movie’s events where the good guys win. Any and all tangents end with Thanos’ victory. So let’s move away from that.

Endgame’s time heist created two major alternate timelines. One is the alternate version of Avengers, where Loki escapes with the Tesseract and Hydra thinks Cap is on their side. We’ll be getting a whole Disney+ series on that reality.

The other is what’s left behind from the second Thanos. There’s a universe where Gamora, Thanos, and all of Thanos’ underlings and soldiers (minus Ronan) simply ceased to be. They all went to another timeline and never came back. Does that mean that Ego conquers reality? Does the Collector go forward with his plan to acquire all six Infinity Stones?

And what of Earth? This could go in different directions, considering a deleted concept from Endgame was that Thanos 2014 decided to tear apart his timeline’s Avengers before making the time jump. There’s a lot of potential in that episode.

SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME

What If Mysterio Was Iron Man’s Protégé?

So Quentin Beck created this world-changing hologram technology, watched his boss use it for the sake of personal therapy, make fun of it, and then call Beck out of line? Hey, Beck really shouldn’t have used the lives of a bunch of innocents to prop up his plan, but he had every right to be pissed at Tony Stark.

If television and movies have taught me anything, it’s that if you angrily insult your boss to his face, you have a 50/50 chance of either getting fired or getting a promotion. We saw the firing timeline, so let’s see what happens when Stark decides to actually listen to Beck. I imagine Beck would solidify his belief in the Sokovia Accords and take Spider-Man’s spot in Civil War. Just think about how anti-climactic that airport battle would be when Iron Man’s side ends up being a bunch of holograms and Bucky gets yoinked away in the confusion.

Beck could conceivably figure out Zemo’s plot through his tactics, but the question is how he would follow up on that. Does he step in Zemo’s way or does he agree and allow the Avengers to implode?

Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and would love to see DC do an animated or live-action version of Elseworlds: Speeding Bullets. Read more of his articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L

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Gavin Jasper

Aug 22, 2019

What If

Disney+

Marvel Cinematic Universe

from Books https://ift.tt/2My7r22

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Twenty-Two

It was the in-between period. Intersection of two breaking points. Everyone has them, and I had yet to have mine. But it was my job, and on some days, my passion, to help others manage theirs.

So what was I doing in this in-between? The answer was that I drew a breath and released. Such times were the moments where I lost myself, lost everything. Aware, but absent. The previous interaction, gone. The next, not here yet. Everything was as in the current.

From the outside of my mind, a ringing in my ear; beside the chair where I sat, the table where the phone lie. That familiar tone, breaking my thoughts, digging into my skin just as my nails were.

“Vesuvius, someone is here to see you,” the receptionist's voice droned.

“Peter?” I wondered. That's who was scheduled to see me next, at least that was what my memory suggested.

“No, not Peter. Peter said he wouldn't be making it today. Don't you remember?”

“Right. Of course I do. Well, what of my next appointment?”

“Called in sick. Do you read your emails?”

I scoffed. “Do. I. Read. My. Emails? Of-fucking-course I do!” My words expressed anger, but I remained calm and my voice soothed throughout.

I checked the schedule on the computer. Indeed, I had at least a couple hours of open availability. I rubbed my forehead and felt the folds of the forming wrinkles.

Why didn't I know that already?

“Very well, Lacey,” I told the receptionist. “Let them know I'll be out.”

Out of the whole exchange, I never thought to ask who said person was. Wasn't that something you were supposed to do? Always know who was asking for you. Know who to expect. Did I have an unknown stalker?

I rubbed my forehead again. It would be better just to find out and let things run their course.

Down the halls, to my left, the door opened with a shove and before I saw who it was, I heard the humming of a familiar tune.

“If you're tired and you know it, clap your hands...” I muttered. As I did, I heard two claps and as I looked over, I saw who it was, swaying their legs back and forth.

“Blanc,” my eyes widened. “What...what a surprise. How have you been?”

“Happy!” Blanc grinned.

Not the response I was expecting. Then again, what was I expecting?

“It's so good to see you. Come on in. We can chat in my office.”

Blanc nodded and bounced off their seat. I walked back through the halls, Blanc following behind, humming tunes I didn't know of.

“You know,” I mentioned. “We have been worried sick about you.”

“Oh? Why's that?”

“I mean, we haven't heard from you in months and you just vanished. We didn't know what happened to you.”

Blanc's smile lowered to a grimace.

“I can tell you once we're in,” they chirped. If that was the right word.

Was it that serious?

We entered the room, they closed the door behind them and sat down. I took my seat across, and stared at who I was facing. There were differences, things I hadn't noticed before: longer hair, blonde streaks that offset the jet black. They wore a flannel turtleneck and gloves, probably to hide the metal arm. Or, just for the fun of it.

“So, what's been going on with you lately?” I asked, more out of curiosity, yet I found myself trapped in counseling mode and began to shake my head, wondering if I was turning this into a session.  “It's been nine months since we've heard from you and here you are, showing up where I work as if it's nothing. Can you even imagine how much we've missed you?”

“Wow...nine months, huh?” Blanc smiled, consuming the words they uttered. “It's as if I've been reborn.”

“What do you mean?”

They shook their head. “I'm not really sure.”

“We all missed you. You know we care about you, right?”

“I know. I'm sorry,” Blanc spoke in earnest.

“You just left one day and none of us knew what happened to you. Do you have any idea how worried we have been?”

“You guys have been the closest thing I've had to a family. I just wasn't satisfied at the time not knowing who I was. I felt like I had to know and I didn't know how, but I felt like once I was away, I would figure things out.”

I gulped. I evaded what was gnawing at me in favor of a separate question.

“How did you get by? What about food? Shelter? Were you homeless all this time?”

“It's kind of a funny story,” Blanc gave a laugh that sounded like a cough. “I was at a park one day when I first noticed it.”

“Noticed what?”

“I was sitting under a tree, hungry as fuck. Like, I'm saying stomach growling, the whole ten yards.”

“Nine,” I corrected.

Blanc ignored my interjection. “I remember saying to myself, 'I'd sure be happy right now if I had something to eat', and just like that, an apple fell out of the tree.”

“It's funny how things work like that sometimes.”

Blanc snapped their fingers. “I thought so too! I remember taking a bite out of the apple, and thinking 'this is good and all, but I'd be happier if I had some pie' and lo and behold, someone walking by came up to me and was all 'bruh, I can't finish this pie and I don't want it to go to waste. You want it?' and of course, I was all 'fuck yeah, mate!'”

“Interesting...”

“I think I've developed super powers,” Blanc leaned over. “It's like whatever makes me happy, I can get! Y'know that whole Spider-Man quote?”

“Not really. I'd have to ask Trent or my wife about it.”

“Well, it's like, if I have this power, I can use these powers to help others!”

“Do you really believe you have these powers?”

Blanc slumped over, gave it some thought. “Hm...maybe not.”

“Even still, I'm glad you've been okay.”

“To tell you the truth,” Blanc's voice lowered from the excitement of just a second ago. “For a while, I wanted to chase this euphoria I once knew, or thought I knew. Thinking that if I found it again, all my problems would be solved. When it never came, I thought that was it, and for a while, I thought of wanting to die.”

“Do you still think that way?”

Blanc shook their head. “No, I've already died a few times, so to speak. I think I'm through dying at this point. Getting a little tired of it, y'know?”

“I see. So what do you think you'll do instead?”

“I think I came to realize that this 'euphoria' that I was seeking was with me all along and I had to figure that out for myself. Now if I could spread this happiness to others, I know I can change the world.”

“Is that what you wish to do?”

“I don't know yet,” Blanc shrugged. “But I think we'll come to a conclusion together.”

“Is that why you wished to see me today?”

“In part. Brainstorming is fun, but I could have done that with anyone. It was more that I know you.”

“So why not go to Trent, or my wife?”

Blanc shook their head.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No, something is very right, and I'm glad I ended up where I did.”

I don't know why, but hearing that brought down a jolting sweat in me.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Of course!”

“When did you first come to this realization? Did something happen that you think could have triggered these 'powers' of yours?”

“Yes. It's what I came here to tell you, actually.”

“What is it?”

“I remember.”

There it was. I hoped that I didn't let my shock show through, and marched on, stone faced.

“What do you remember?”

“Things here and there. Who I was before. How I ended up here.”

I drew out a slow breath. My apprehension was lifted. “Maybe we can be re-introduced, then. Could you tell me a little about yourself?”

“Well, it's kind of a long story...”

I let out a laugh. “I've heard that one before. Luckily for you, I have time.

“I know.”

It took me a second before I registered what Blanc said.

“Well, for starters, it's funny how you guys got it right. My name has been Blanc Slait from the beginning. It's a silly name and I've thought of changing it. It's not really far off from the name I was given at birth. But I figure at this point, you guys re-named me it, and just got really damn lucky, so I'm keeping it to honor you guys.”

“That sure is something. If you were to change your name, what would you go with?”

“Now that!” Blanc pointed upward. “Is brilliant! I haven't given that much thought. Maybe Oreo, or Snickers.”

“Candies?”

Blanc shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“If you feel comfortable, that's what matters.”

“Yeah, for sure! As long as I'm happy. They do sound kinda like something I would name a cat, though if I wanted to, I could be my own pet.”

We both shared a laugh. I drew another breath.

“That's not all I remember.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't just remember times before. I remember parts of me that I never got to experience. Memories that I couldn't have had, but they're surely mine.”

“Such as?”

“It's hard to explain, but I remember what you did to me.”

There it was, the shattering.

“I remember how when I was recovering at your apartment, you would visit me every night and poison me. I couldn't have remembered that. I was asleep. You were keeping me from remembering. Yet I was finally able to remember once I left. I don't even know how you managed that, but I know it happened.

I looked down. For the first time in a while, I felt like I was going to be the one to shed some tears.

“I'm sorry. You must think of me as cruel, even wicked. I just want you to know that I meant well.”

“It's all right!” Blanc grinned. “I harbor no ill will toward you, or anyone.”

“Just so you know, neither Trent nor my wife know what I did. They wanted you to get better. So did I. But I wanted you to forget, start a new life. That's all.”

“I understand. Congrats on the marriage, by the way. Sorry I didn't attend.”

“Thank you.”

I tried to loosen up, but there was now a tightness to everything.

“There is just one thing I need to ask of you,” Blanc added. “I want the time cube back.”

“So that's what that is...”

“I know you took it from me. You said you wanted me to start a new life. And maybe I will. Maybe I already have. But I still want it back.”

“Why do you want it? What is it?”

“I think you already know. Otherwise you wouldn't have taken it.”

“Let me guess: some sort of time traveling device?” I joked.

“I guess you could call me a time traveler, then? I don't know, I've never done the sort of thing before. It was a life or death situation. Hence why it seemed like I just fell from the sky. I needed to get away, wherever it happened to be. I'm just glad I ended up here.”

“Like an angel falling from heaven...” I caught myself muttering.

“What?” Blanc stared at me.

“I don't really know. But you're right. I knew what you held was a device used for time travel. I have also dabbled, though with a different device. My father was an inventor, he once left, without a trace, leaving his device behind. I tried using it to search for him, but to no avail. I ended up meeting Trent and Juniper sometime in my search, and after having meeting them, I went back to searching for a little while, but I never found him. After a while, I gave up and settled down, living with those two, and I ended up leaving my former life behind, developing a bond with them and creating a new life for myself.”

“I never knew all that.”

“It's okay. This isn't about me. I just wanted to let you know that I could relate to your situation in some capacity.”

“Even still, I need it. I don't want to give up. I left some things unfinished. There are some bad people out there and --”

“Don't bother.” I found myself saying, as cold and lifeless as it may have come out, I felt it had to be said.

“I'm sorry. This isn't something I can brush off. I thought I could take a break for a while and come back when I was ready, but that's the thing: my problems didn't go away.”

“Some things you can't finish. Some problems you can't solve. All of that is in the past. You can start new things, finish new things. Allow yourself to enjoy this new life you have.” I wasn't sure if I was saying this to Blanc or giving myself a reminder.

“I once met these folks who told me that the past is all we have because the present is always fleeting and the future is just what hasn't become the past yet. But the past is forever.”

“That sounds like a depressive thought pattern. If you want to know what I think, I think the present is all we have. We don't know about the future, and we cannot change what happened in the past. It's important to take in the present for all it is; the good, the bad, everything outside and in between. Allow yourself to acknowledge it all.”

There. That should have reached Blanc. I could go back to my day and not worry about such silly talks of time travel or danger. At least, that was my hope. There was still something, something I couldn't place, gnawing at me, but I felt the source coming from across the room.

“Maybe, but I think they have a point. I think you do, too. The past really is forever, we can't change it.”

So why go on with this talk of time travel?

“But,” Blanc continued. “We can create a new past, a new present, and a new future. We can create something new that's better than how things were and how things will be.”

“I've tried!” Those two words escaped and as much as I grit my teeth, they had already been released into the air, out of my control.

Blanc nodded a slow nod, something I didn't understand. I did my best to regain composure, but I was afraid that the damage was already done.

“I know my future; I've tried to change it time and time again.”

“I know your future, too,” Blanc told me. “And that's why I came here. So we can change it together.”

“Oh?” I managed to chuckle a little. “What would you know of my future? First you call yourself a time traveler, now a fortune teller?”

Blanc shook their head. “It's because I've lived your future. I've met you before, though you were different, then.”

“Different how?” I leaned forward.

“Well, first of all, your hair wasn't blonde. Second, you were more of a hologram than human. Oh, and your name wasn't Vesuvius.”

I froze, but then couldn't help but close my eyes and smile.

“Oh? And what was it?” I was close to asking what will it be? But if we were discussing changing the future...no. I had to shake that off as well. I knew better.

“Etna.”

That word echoed. It was getting to be too much. I could sense steam rising throughout the room, but I knew the temperature hadn't changed.

“Ah,” I drew a deep breath, then released. “I've forgotten all about that name. Abandoned it when I came here. Felt I needed a new start, you see. Got myself a degree, told everyone my name was Vesuvius Marlboro and not Etna Modelo, even managed to forge a birth certificate and identification.” I needed to stop myself. I knew I needed to. I didn't have an explanation for my unraveling in front of a complete stranger.

A complete stranger that has lived with you for months. A complete stranger who you took in and manipulated for fear that you would be exposed. Well, here you are: exposed. Because that's what you are. Therapist? Forged. Horticulture? Just quick glances at books. Guesses and conjecture. 'Fake it 'til you make it', right? Well for a while, I sure made it, and now this...thing that I took in is threatening all of it.

“That's right, I'm a fraud,” I couldn't help but smile, even though I wanted to scream.

“Modelo?” Blanc tilted their head. “I thought it was Montclair.”

I couldn't help but do the same. We exchanged puzzled looks as if we were looking in a mirror, except neither of us looked alike. Unless the blonde streaks were some way of mocking me, which at this point, I didn't even doubt.

“Oh, right!” Blanc snapped their fingers. “I forgot, those memories were fake!”

“I'm not really following, I'm afraid.”

“It's okay. It was a different future. All of that's behind me now.”

“Is it? Wouldn't it be ahead of you?”

“Not if we change it! That's what I'm saying!”

“Look,” I was really feeling the claws dig in now. “When I watched as the Vietnam war happened, when the government forced soldiers to in equal measures massacre, and get massacred, I thought that if enough people got together and protested, the government would listen and stop. But instead they would turn against protesters and slaughter their own. Campuses, the streets. I thought by going into the future, leaving behind my girlfriend at the time, that I would see things change, and how never again would these things occur. I was wrong. This world is already authoritarian and ruled by a powerful few. Whether it be influence, money, military, technology, or a combination of all four, they have much more than the average person has.”

Blanc gulped. I would have been lying if I said I didn't relish in this.

“The masses mean nothing. Do you know what happened if you tried going against these powers? You'll get killed. You mean nothing to them. I knew this and I wanted to protect you.”

“I appreciate that, but I wouldn't feel right if I didn't do anything.”

“Just do something small in your community. Brighten someone's day.  You can't change the world, but you can change someone's world.”

“Like yours?”

Flashes and jolts struck the mountaintop. Pieces of earth crumbled and rolled from the peak. There would be nowhere to take cover from.

“You said you knew my future?” I cleared my throat. “Well, so do I. I received an email a while back from a private address telling me that they intend to kidnap my wife and I and extract our thoughts and personalities to better their AI they were developing. It all sounded so silly, so crazy. But that's the thing: I knew it wasn't.”

“How?”

“I thought they were visions, or dreams, but there were a few times where I wound find myself transported to this place and these two men would greet me. They would tell me their progress on this project they were working on and how it would change the world for the better. They told me they were starting a new department, and I would be appointed the head of it, but not in my current form. I didn't know why they wanted me, but I knew all of what I experienced was real. I knew how they wished to harvest me, to control me. I felt the cold metal of the walls, the terror of their machines, the sounds. None of it could be so easily replicated.”

“You were there?”

“Oh yes,” I nodded. I shouldn't have admitted any of this. All of it came out. It was like Blanc was stealing my secrets from me and all the words overflowed. “I also know I would be powerless to stop them once they're all ready. I have my own device to travel through time, but so do they. I know it's real as well, because I've seen their device and I know that the device you stole from the organization you fled is the same organization that will decide my future.”

“It doesn't have to decide your future, though!” Blanc spoke as if they were buying a lottery ticket and thinking there was a chance of hitting the jackpot.

“There is no way around it. I've made peace with my life. I'm just going to enjoy my life with Juniper while I can.”

“But what if you can live out your life with her...for the rest of your life? What makes you think you don't deserve to be happy?”

Am I the one getting a therapy session here?

I had to blink. Make sure I was where I thought I was.

“It's not about what I do and don't deserve. I think the goal is to be content, regardless of the outcome.”

“But what if you could be more than content? I think you deserve to live your life as a human, living the kind of life you want to live. More than that, I think it's possible. More than possible, even. That's why I came to you today. I want to help you.”

I noticed Blanc sipping on a mug. I noticed the label of an herbal tea packet on the table next to them and steam rising from the mug. Just as there was steam around me.

“Where did you get that?” I asked. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes.

“You offered it to me. Don't you remember?”

I remembered no such thing. Maybe it was just a lapse in memory. Maybe after a while of the same procedures, some things just ended up getting blocked out.

I shook my head.

“Anyway, you said you wanted to help me? Really? What could you possibly do?”

Blanc grinned a toothy grin. I noticed much whiter teeth than I've ever seen from them before. It felt off. The whole room, the whole situation, the whole day...everything was off. Something told me this feeling was not about to let up.

Blanc snapped their fingers.

“It's simple: we save the lesbians, we save the world!”

“...What?”

“I say we go to their base right now. Let's not bring Juniper along! Let's destroy all their equipment and foil their plans!”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes! A little! But with my superpowers and our time traveling devices, I say it's worth a shot! If we were just anyone, sure, we could just sit idly by as everything seems futile, but we're not just anyone! I'm Oreo and you're Edna Mode.”

“I'm...who?”

“I don't know! I think I saw that name somewhere!”

“I think I'd rather just be me...”

Blanc grabbed my hand.

“Come on, enough with this therapy! Let's go improve some lives!”

There was a flush that ran through me. Something unnatural.

“Don't I get a say in this?” I blurted, but I knew better. “Never mind, let's go,” I found myself saying after. I wanted this. I knew I wanted it. My agency.

I felt no transition. We were in my office, we ran out the door, and then...

The cold, murky steel. Exposed wiring and halls that branched out into endless corridors and endless arrays of doors. Crisp, manufactured air, both stuff and making it all too easy to breathe in. Equal parts office building and laboratory.

“I know where we are...” I murmured, then turned to Blanc. “How did we get here?”

Blanc, still grinning, replied. “You gave me back my time cube, remember?”

“No. I didn't. It wasn't with me. I don't think I could have...”

“I'm so happy! I know we can do it!”

I tore myself from Blanc's grip. There was no sting, no pain. But I felt like molten lava.

“We should go. I don't know what we're doing here.”

“I do! All we have to do is go to the lab where the AI is being built by Dr. Laharl and Dr. Vyers! I don't even know if they're real people, but I know the room is real! It's where you shot me!”

It baffled me how someone could talk about being shot and speak with such glee. Before I had time to ponder any of that, Blanc skipped down the halls.

“I'm sure we'll find it in no time at all!” They sang and chanted, disregarding all need for secrecy. All I could do was chase after the fool.

“Stop! You'll get us both killed!” I was in no shape to run, yet I did anyway, the heels of my shoes clanging against the floors. It made too much noise. Every movement was too much. It. Was. All. Just. Too. Much.

Before I could stop to take a breath, the sound of more heels against the floor resounded; rows and rows of footprints. Running soldiers with their guns to each side of us. Blanc stopped dead in their tracks and looked around.

“Stop!” The soldiers yelled. “This area is restricted!”

All of them drew their weapons. I knew they were about to open fire. Maybe being killed would be better than being taken away by some company to be experimented on, but I just didn't know. All the while, Blanc continued to grin.

“It's okay! I think we just need to celebrate getting here!” Blanc cheered.

I closed my eyes.

I heard the deafening cry of the bullets ring, but after a moment, I was still breathing. I opened my eyes to see red balloons where the soldiers were.

“I was thinking balloons would make us happier! The soldiers must have ran away!”

My breath was growing shorter. My heart, my lungs, I wasn't sure which was working harder.

“Oh? Were you expecting something violent to go down?” Blanc asked, before snapping their fingers, and all the balloons popped, blood erupting from each of them, spraying all of the walls. I jumped, the images burned into my eyes. Blanc just laughed.

“Too violent?” Blanc looked displeased.

I blinked, the surrounding area was filled with confetti. I must have imagined the blood the whole time. Maybe I imagined the soldiers showing up. There were no weapons to be seen, either. I couldn't remember the last time my imagination had run so wild.

Yes. That's it. You're freaking out. Seeing things. You're back in your office. You're safe. Everyone is safe.

“Come on!” Blanc motioned. “We're almost there!”

I shook my head, but followed anyway.

We passed through all sorts of doors that I could see through. Although the surrounding walls were a murky shade of blue and brown, the insides of the doors seemed littered with stuffed animals and pink walls. I wasn't sure what those rooms were meant for, if anything. Certainly not what I would have associated with an all powerful organization.

Finally, Blanc ran through these double doors and I went in after. The room itself was huge; rows and rows of computers and a master computer system with a large monitor. Wires and engines humming all around. Blanc, however, spared no time to marvel, and ran further in. I strode through, not allowing myself to run.

When I finally reached the end of the lab, there was little to see aside from what looked like an MRI scanner, a table filled with medical equipment, including IV tubes, and two sets of doors at the other end, both sets of doors reminding me of elevator doors, for whatever reason.

“This is it! This is all where it's supposed to happen!”

“What next?” I asked. I knew we shouldn't have been here. I knew something was wrong ever since Blanc showed up, but I didn't know how to stop things from progressing.

“I agree,” a voice of a middle-aged man piped up, his voice that of a Scottish man imitating an American accent. “You know you shouldn't be here.” I recognized the voice right away as one of the men I had seen before when I was taken here. 

I saw as he walked forward, a short man wearing a black coat. His hair braided into a pony tail, though I could have seen the receding of his hairline from a mile away.  He wore a monocole as if to make himself seem more important, but all I saw was some goofy looking man, prime for ridicule.

“Ah, Etna. It's been a while. We haven't needed you yet, but I'm glad to see you again.”

I shivered, and backed away, toward Blanc.

“Hey, it’s you! Dr. Vyers! You really do exist!” Blanc seemed so giddy.

The man known as Dr. Vyers peered at Blanc while fiddling with his monocle.

“As for you...I don't know who you are, but if I go back in time by just a little bit, we can make sure you never show up here again...”

Blanc wasn't wavered by this threat.

“I'd be happier if you just disappeared instead!” Blanc smiled wide.

I didn't even have to blink this time. Dr. Vyers vanished. I turned to face Blanc, who turned to me, stilted movements, but grinning all the same.

“Isn't this great? I'm so happy! I think I finally realized what it is!”

Blanc placed their hands on my shoulders.

“Euphoria has been with me this whole time! I can feel it! I know everything will be okay because I am happy!”

I wasn't.

I drew from my labcoat pocket the item I never knew I had.

“What are you doing, Etna?”

The timbre of my voice was a shallow, hollow self.

“Defining my own happiness, I'm afraid,” before aiming my object at Blanc's arm and pulling the trigger. The loud ring pierced my eardrums, but I had become immune in such a short time span.

Blanc seethed, their grin loosening. “Damn! That was my non-robotic arm! How'd you know?”

“I didn't. Lucky guess,” I managed to utter in my same monotone before erupting in a fit of laughter.

“I don't understand what's going on!” Blanc whined. The pain must have been unbearable.

“Everyone has their breaking point,” was my reply, pure emotion rushing through me. I felt free, unrestrained for the first time in a while as I watched what I wasn't even sure to be human lose consciousness.

[blogs-of-our-lives]

Season 53 Episode 95: Lani Has A Secret

           I like to describe my relationship with Beth as ‘friends with benefits,’ only instead of sex the benefits are that we get drunk and watch Scooby-doo. Off the top of my head, we’ve watched the entire original series, the majority of What’s New Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo and the Witch’s Ghost, Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster, Scooby Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery (yes, that KISS), and a pretty big portion of Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf. That’s a lot of Scooby Doo. So when we hit rock bottom (Reluctant Werewolf), we kind of silently agreed to find a new hobby. I suggested Mothman Prophecies, starring Richard Gere (who should have known better than to be in the movie). For whatever reason, Beth wasn’t interested. Killing time one night, we discovered Days of Our Lives. All the most recent episodes are available on the NBC website, dating back about a month or two, if anyone is interested in watching them. Otherwise it’s on at two in the afternoon most days.

           Now, Days has been out since 1965. By the time we landed on the moon, the United States had been enjoying a solid four seasons of Days of Our Lives. Martin Luther King Jr. might have seen a couple of seasons. And I’m willing to bet that someone at Woodstock had enjoyed a few episodes. So naturally I was unwilling and unable to start from the beginning of the series. If I watched an episode a day every day, I wouldn’t be caught up for over 30 years, and that’s not counting the fact that they’re still producing episodes. If I watched Days of Our Lives all day every day, it would take me 418 days to catch up.

           I started with Episode 95… of Season 53. Holy shit.

           This might help put into context how old this show is. There’s a character in this episode named JJ. It’s hard to guess his age, but I’m going to say that he’s – at the youngest – only in his mid-twenties. He’s the child of Jack and Jennifer, two characters of the show. Jack and Jennifer started dating, got married, had a child, and that child was JJ. He then grew up as the show went on, until he is old enough now to consider marriage. There are characters that are born into the show, and the show begins to follow them after they age to an adult. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It’s like the children are born into a nightmarish hell of being forced to continue where their parents left off. This show has outlived many. People have been born into the shadow of Days of Our Lives and have died under its inky wings of death.  

           The description of the episode I watched is “Gabi is booked on murder charges; Brady and Eve go on their first real date; Lani makes a confession to Eli; Claire realizes Ciara and Tripp are keeping a secret.”

           I admit, the murder charges bit caught my eye. I like a little bit of mystery, especially when I expect the rest of the show is filled with love triangles and comparatively boring day to day minutiae. I was terribly wrong with that assumption, but I’ll get to that later.

           Now, Days is pretty self-aware. It knows that nobody cares enough to watch each episode. So the characters use names enough for the casual viewer to catch on quickly. I learned who Gabi, Lani, and JJ were pretty quickly. Ciara, Claire, and Tripp don’t make an appearance until the end, which I didn’t mind, because his name is Tripp. Anybody who names their child Tripp doesn’t deserve to have a child.

           Gabi seems to be a person of interest in some kind of investigation. At first, I suspected some kind of white collar crime, but I was wrong. They’re reviewing security footage. A character named Rafe tells Gabi that she may be a suspect.

           And all of a sudden we’re with Lani and JJ, who are eating together at some kind of café. Wait, what? Mid conversation, after just a brief lull, the viewer is immediately taken to a different set with different characters and a different plot. There was no segue, nor even a real stopping point. It may have been mid-sentence for all the sense it made. It was about as jarring as if the whole episode was just a long and complex intro to a Scooby Doo movie I was tricked into watching. You quickly get used to the storyline jumping, however.

           JJ is without a doubt my favorite character, because in the few episodes I’ve seen of him. He doesn’t really do anything. When he speaks with Lani, she goes on a long rant about how difficult being pregnant is, despite the fact that she’s about two weeks pregnant. Note the word choice I used. She ranted to him. They didn’t have a conversation, because that implies he participated. She spoke at him. There’s only one circumstance that makes it okay for someone to talk to you like that, and usually you call the other person “professor.” But that’s not why I like him. I like him because it happened to him with another character. This poor guy’s luck, that he just happens to run into the two most narcissistic and talkative people alive. The guy probably hasn’t been home in three days, his boss is calling him wondering why he hasn’t shown up for work, his family is texting him worried sick, the police are starting a missing person report because these two people just have to have JJ be the one sitting across the table as they talk pretty much to themselves.  Meanwhile, JJ nods.

           In a flashback, Lani is speaking to an older woman, possibly her mother. Lani’s character is keeping some kind of secret, though it’s unclear from whom. Her father? JJ? Any of the other male characters? “If you don’t tell him, I will,” her mother ominously warns.

           After there’s a pause in the baby conversation, we’re back to Gabi and her investigation. Apparently she’s suspected of murder. “I can’t go back to prison,” she said.

           Did you say back? You’ve been to prison before? Honestly it doesn’t even matter at this point. We’ve burned through about half a bottle of Grey Goose between the two of us, and I don’t even care if Gabi goes to prison anyway. I’m all about JJ and Lani, and whatever secret she’s keeping from him right now. Beth, if you’re reading this, martinis are gross, and I wish you liked tequila so I could make a better mixed drink. If anyone has any good vodka drinks, for the love of god let me know.

           Throughout all this there’s a date between Brady and Eve in the background. Apparently they used to have a no strings attached type arrangement. Neither are particularly interesting characters and the date is terrible. At some point they turn it into a business meeting and start brainstorming ways for their magazine to reach out to the young white woman demographic. Their waitress (who happens to be Claire) is a young white woman, so they ask her what product would interest her. She answers, “Um… a time machine. Definitely. Yeah my boyfriend and I are in the ultimate long distance relationship.” This is really interesting for several reasons, one of them being that a few episodes later the thumbnail is her, naked in bed with Tripp. I don’t have a good feeling about their relationship.

           “Poor girl,” Eve said afterwards. “Probably thinks that she’s the only person in the world right now that’s alone.” I’m noticing that about once an episode there will be a really well written quote. Every so often they’ll strike gold, then go back to their usual writing quality.

           The best part of the date is that Eve has a glass of wine in front of her, without any condensation on the glass. Which makes sense, because as time goes on, the condensation will change, and the viewer can tell when different takes are being used in the final cut. For the same reason, movie studios have employees making sure that costumes and props stay consistent from scene to scene (making sure a watch doesn’t switch hands, for example, or that the actors don’t move their silverware). So Eve’s glass of wine is probably just a glass of apple juice at room temperature. Brady, on the other hand, has a mixed drink filled with ice, which he frequently drinks from. In conclusion, I’m pretty sure the actor who plays Brady had actual alcohol in his glass. I can’t say I blame him.

So now we move onto Tripp, Ciara, and Claire. Ciara is Claire’s aunt (they’re the same age, both mid-twenties), and for some reason they both live in an apartment together. That’s fine. Tripp also lives there. Also fine. Claire looks like Elsa Jean. Like, a spitting image. If you don’t recognize the name, don’t bother googling it. She just has light blonde hair and a VERY strong jawline.

           Ciara and Claire get an invitation for Rafe’s wedding to… Gabi I think? Ciara invites Tripp to be her plus one. “Too bad Theo isn’t going to be there,” she said, looking Claire dead in the eyes. “You’ll have to sit all on your lonesome.”

           Wow. That’s a real bitch move, Ciara. Capital B. Worse, that was a binch move.

           Not much interesting happens in the Claire, Ciara, and Tripp storyline. Tripp seems to like Claire. Ciara seems to like Theo. Judging from his body language I get the sense that Tripp is into Ciara as well. There’s nothing else worth noting, which is perfect because the next (and final) 5 minutes are the most exciting.

           Lani’s father, Abe, is walking down the street with Lani’s mother. Back in the 1980s, Abe was murdered by a character known as “The Salem Stalker.” I’m not making that up. Abe was killed thirty years ago. He’s alive now. I’ll explain why some other time.

           JJ stops him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a wedding ring. “I’d like to have your blessing to marry Lani.” Dun dun duuuuun.

Gabi is arrested on suspicion of murder. She’s led away by Rafe, while Eli watches from his office. Lani comes in, teary eyed. Every time we’ve seen her character, she looks like she’s on the brink of crying. Her hand on her stomach (which isn’t showing because, as I mentioned before, she’s like two weeks pregnant), she tells Eli it’s his baby. GASP.

           He has a terrifying series of emotions over the next couple moments, ranging from excited, guilty, and furious. Eli seems like an okay dude, but he doesn’t seem to be the most emotionally stable. The episode ends before he can say anything.

           Just like that, I was hooked. Up until that point, it was just a mediocre show. It was no Scooby Doo, and it was no Mothman Prophecies. But then in those last five minutes, a character gets arrested (again) for murder, Lani reveals she’s pregnant with Eli’s baby, and JJ asks Abe for his blessing. What a way to close out an episode.

           Next episode has spies in it. It’s up to you to figure out if I’m joking or not.

[thephoenixiaproject]

Entry 02 (07/01/2020): Research, Inspirations and Ideas

Hi there!!

Welcome to entry number two! This project is still VERY much in the preparation stage, so I wanted to use this one as an opportunity to link all the sources that I’ve been using as a basis up until this point, as well as specific pieces of work that have inspired this project, plus some brainstormed ideas that might be experimented with in the future.

The next couple of entries after this will most likely be focusing on making some first demos, visual ideas, mood-boards, notebook scribbles, and maybe some character/story ideas too! I won’t lie, the scope of all the different areas does slightly scare me, especially since I have next to no experience in a lot of them - I feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants!!

But I’m definitely going to make a lot of mistakes as I try some new skills and play with new concepts for the first time, so please bear with me as I stumble around in the dark for a while :D Expect most of my nonsense to eventually end up getting heavily changed, retconned, or cut entirely!

--------

A List of Sources (at the time of writing!):

AWARE - AWAreness during REsuscitation - A Prospective Study (resuscitationjournal.com, October 6th 2014) - The first piece I found! The start of this idea came when I was thinking about how my dreams worked (more on that later!), and for some reason I suddenly remembered one religious studies lesson I had in school when I was 14 I think? Part of the lesson was talking about out-of-body and near-death experiences, and out of curiosity I looked it up to see if anything had changed. That’s when I came across this!

“What Really Happens After Cardiac Arrest?” - The New York Academy of Sciences (nyas.org, December 6th 2019) - A talk on the subject led by the Lead Author of the 2014 study, held in late 2019! There’s loads of interesting information and anecdotes in here.

Life — after life: Does consciousness continue after our brain dies? (nationalpost.com, April 18th 2019 [Updated October 2019]) - This article goes very in-depth as well as referencing a LOT of different studies, some even offering opposing viewpoints to each other! There’s loads of quotes and studies here that I really want to look more into.

Greyson NDE Scale (iands.org, 25th April 2015) - The NDE scale referenced in the National Post article - would be cool to use this somewhere somehow??

Understanding the cognitive experience of death and the near-death experience (academic.oup.com, 14th July 2016) - A summary of the 2014 AWARE experiment, but that references past studies into the field (see below!)

Life Changes in Patients After Out-of-Hospital Cardiac Arrest (link.springer.com, 8th December 2011) - One of the referenced studies, this one includes a ‘life changes’ questionnaire at the bottom which might be another source of ideas.

A qualitative and quantitative study of the incidence, features and aetiology of near death experiences in cardiac arrest survivors (sciencedirect.com, February 2001) - An older study, but with very similar results to recent ones!

A Prospective Analysis of Near-Death Experiences in Cardiac Arrest Patients (link.springer.com, June 2002) - Another older study, includes characterisations of the experiences, some of which correlate with AWARE’s most commonly reported themes.

Possible source - What Happens When We Die? by Sam Parnia, M.D.(penguinrandomhouse.com, 1st January 2007) - I’m debating whether to look into this - it’s written by the same project leader as the AWARE study, but this book was written 7 years prior to it. I’m also fully aware that despite trying to look everywhere, the majority of my current sources stem from Dr. Parnia. (This might not be a bad thing! It’s just surprising to me that most of the recent studies into this field I can find out about stem from him.)

-------- Inspirations/Ideas:

Just a quick place to put current inspirations down! I’m sure that once I’ve finished this entry I’ll realise I’ve missed some out, so I’ll edit this as I go!

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD:

Bojack Horseman - S6 E15 ‘The View From Halfway Down (& S6 E16 ‘Nice While It Lasted’) - Netflix - The View From Halfway Down takes place within Bojack’s mind, after he commits suicide by downing himself in the pool of his former home. This episode has a LOT of themes which link to the studies:

Just like how some CA survivors reported on seeing their life ‘in review’, the characters are asked what the best and worst parts of each of their lives were, leading to conflict of ideals between them as well as trying to tackle large philosophical questions.

Black tar, representing impending death, begins the episode as a drip in the ceiling, before consuming all the all the characters one-by-one, followed by both Bojack and the dream world the episode takes place in. With newer theories on loss of consciousness and brain cell/tissue functionality arguing that it may be a gradual process of decay, rather than an instant loss, the black tar effectively mirrors this. Combined with the fact that Bojack becomes more frantic as the episode ends and the tar begins to chase him, as well as more supernatural events which begin happening, this may mirror the post-death ‘elevated state of consciousness’ idea.

For the first half of the episode, Bojack believes that he is in a recurring dream he has had many times before in his life, even stating how the dream will end event-by-event. However, once these happen but dream doesn’t end, things take a darker shift, and it takes him time to realise he might not be waking up. While being unaware of their own death might be a concept to try in the future (although a scary one), it does bring up the idea that final moments of consciousness may be very similar to the dreams a person normally has (or take place in a similar format with similar people).

While Bojack’s father, Butterscotch, does feature in the episode, he takes on the appearance of Secretariat, Bojack’s personal idol. A percentage of CA survivors reported that post-experience, they came out of hospital and care with a renewed sense of who their true friends and family were - here it’s represented as a father taking the shape of an idol (but keeping his father’s voice).

The 20-25 minute time length: Supervising director Mike Hollingsworth revealed in an interview that the episode took place over around 30 seconds - one of the many theories on the length of consciousness persisting after death is 20-30 seconds, but in an elevated state, perhaps leading to a longer perception of time (e.g. 20-30 seconds becomes 20-30 minutes of video/audio).

The world this episode takes place in is a connection of significant locations in Bojack’s life (e.g. the kitchen from Horsin’ Around, the George Rogers Clark Memorial Bridge which Secretariat jumped off), albeit with slight changes. Purely coincidentally, this is how a lot of my dreams function!!

While it’s still theorised as to whether Bojack is actually alive in Nice While It Lasted, or whether it’s a continuation of his NDE, this episode focuses on optimistic reflection and reconciliation with the other major characters in the show, a similarity to the reflection on friends, family and morals reported by CA survivors.

Rachel Joyce - ‘A Snow Garden and Other Stories’ (Published by Penguin Books, 3rd November 2016)

This is an incredible collection of seven short stories, each one told at different time periods by different characters, the events of each story being individually unique, and yet all of them are linked in some way!! My current plan is to make multiple stories based off the different experiences CA survivors have had, and I’d love to somehow be able to link them all like these short stories are, to be able to tell another story in and of itself!

I really need to find more short stories like these, since the end result(s) of this project will probably be in short-story format (maybe 20 minutes of video/audio per character?). This book’s given me a lot of ideas in terms of character building in a short format, as well as what the ‘link’ could be between each.

Some of the characters in the stories were scrapped characters from Joyce’s previous works - I’ve been trying to think a lot on how to best approach character design for this project (since I’ve never done it before!) and this seems to show to me that compelling stories could be founded off a character’s traits, and that this could be a good way to start?? I don’t know, I could be completely wrong!

All the stories focus on one specific life-changing moment for each main character, but either through narration of past events or it coming up in conversation. we get a fairly clear picture of each character’s lives, their mentality, and where it stems from.

Pixar Animation Studio’s ‘Sparkshorts’ Films: - What happens when you give Pixar artists 6 months and a set budget? So far, 8 incredible short films, all in different styles, each exploring different and very real themes!! (Seriously, please check these out, they’re all incredible and hard-hitting and so worth your time!)

Seeing how such strong themes are addressed in such short time is insanely cool, and is exactly the kind of thing I want to try and make! It’s also super inspiring to see what awesome films can be made under such constraints.

If I end up making films/audio/albums on multiple people, these films show that you can play around with animation style, aesthetic, and storytelling techniques to create just as much heart and soul as each other. Varying styles is something I’d love to try when representing different characters.

‘Gravity Falls’ - Hidden Codes/Messages and Stan’s Mind:

The hidden codes scattered throughout both seasons seems like a cool way to enhance an existing narrative, fill in gaps in backstory, or work to link multiple together!

The ‘memory rooms’ approach may be one way of experiencing the ‘life review’?

Conclusion:

And there we go! I’ll probably come back and add more later, but for now here’s a lil idea dump. At some point in the future I’ll talk about musical influences and ideas too!

This will probably be the last text-filled entry - I’m hoping to use future entires more like a logbook, where I put up demos of what I’ve been working on. There’ll definitely be explanations to stuff (that I’ll probably needlessly overexplain!!) but nowhere near this and the previous entry’s level of paragraphs!

University deadlines are getting closer, so progress will probably be a bit sporadic for the next month or so. But I’ll keep chipping away at this when I can!