#The smoothest right!?
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sbrn10 · 11 months ago
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Imogen Temult: I am the storm, baby.
☝️ This is Laura Bailey being hot af.
☝️ This is also Imogen Temult lying her teeth off because she feels threatened.
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as a customer service worker please go ahead and make the joke i've heard 50 times before at this point i've perfected my response and i just know i'm going to ACE this part of the conversation, if you say something new I will have to teach myself the correct response all over again and it will be awkward, just repeat the same joke PLEASE i'm so excited to bring out my perfected response!!!
NOTE: THIS ONLY APPLIES TO ME, TRY THIS WITH OTHER CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKERS AT YOUR OWN RISK
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atlasira · 2 years ago
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I can’t do this
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eshithepetty · 2 years ago
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Why am I seeing people actually call this episode's animation bad. What
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itsahotminuteinbetween · 1 year ago
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GUYS
GUYS YOU WONT BELIEVE IT
I HAVE P E N S NOW
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kalijhomentethi · 1 year ago
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i know very basic french so i’m not even going to try bc i’ll just butcher it LMAO
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ghostbustingreen · 2 years ago
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     ❝I-I, uh... meant to do that, eheh.❞
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enviousbug2 · 5 months ago
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People who can do clean lineart scare me.. what are your secrets?
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cattailtales · 1 year ago
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the inherent futility in trying to explain why we shouldn’t eat at mcd*nalds to my mother, who, amongst a myriad of other horrible opinions ranging from hollowly parroting misinformation from fb to straight up racist bigotry, staunchly and adamantly believes Ronald Reagan was a good president
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faebriel · 1 year ago
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life is a streamroller and i am loose packed gravel
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babilon1271 · 1 year ago
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Experience Body Treatments
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Reflexology
If your feet could speak they would request the ancient art of reflexology. Our therapists will relieve stress and improve circulation by massaging various pressure points on your feet.
Body Exfoliation
Refresh, Rejuvenate, and rehydrate with a full body exfoliation to remove dead skin cells. *Variety of exfoliation scents available.
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Relaxes, detoxifies, and firms the skin leaving it feeling as soft as silk. *Variety of choices available.
Wellness Soak
This treatment is designed to soak away your stress. Enjoy relaxing in our 100-year-old claw foot bathtub, followed by a foot rub. Honey, Milk and Lavender, Moor mud, Juniper, or Sea salt soak available.
Reiki
Hands-on healing using Dr. Usui’s method of natural healing.
Foot Detox
A blend of herbs, moor mud & essential oils helps to drain the feet of toxins and leaves you feeling refreshed! This treatment pairs excellently with foot reflexology.
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depresseddepot · 2 years ago
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so. trigun stampede huh
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bigbuffjoonie · 2 years ago
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I’m always late to the party but omg I love this fic already!! Enemies to lovers villain au w crack SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!! Pardon my multiple tags of nonsense it’s the primary way of expressing my thoughts on the fic 😅
Versus | MYG, JHS - Chapter One
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Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok
Genre: smut, fluff, angst, crack, enemies to lovers, Villains!AU
Rating: M (18+)
Warnings: weapons - daggers & laser swords (*cough like lightsabers cough*), use of restraints, swearing, violence (hand-to-hand combat), fingering, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of squirting, Dior Hobi and Ginger Yoongi are the visuals here
Word Count: 2.9K
Disclaimer: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they just inspire me
Summary: Supervillain exes Yoongi and Hoseok are sick and tired of having their plans for world domination wrecked by you, aka Vitality, the world’s most powerful superhero. When fellow villain Jimin suggests a little competition to see who can bring you to your knees, they both eagerly accept. Now the battle is on as both men engage you in fight after fight to see who will conquer you first. Will you finally defeat these two, or will they destroy you - and possibly take each other out in the process?
A/N: It's finally here! This new series stems from an ask I got back in November from my beloved Bloobs pointing out that red-headed Yoongi in that striped suit at the PTD press conference was 100% sexy evil villain material. That little idea became this Villains!AU.
Unbeta’d as usual. I’d love to know what you think - my inbox is always open! 💕
Series Masterlist ✨ Chapter Two ✨ Character Playlists
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CHAPTER ONE: A MODEST PROPOSAL
You tug against the restraints, testing their give. There is none. 
“Finally, our little dance comes to an end, pretty bird,” Yoongi coos, twirling his dagger, the light from the lamp swinging overhead reflecting off the long blade. “Does that make you sad?”
“You make me sad,” you hiss. “You’re pathetic.” 
He’s annoying the fuck out of you right now, as usual, refusing to shut up long enough to let you figure out what’s going on with your powers. Again you try to access them and fail. 
This isn’t the time to panic. You need to get free. Guess you’ll have to do this the hard way.
Yoongi’s gaze rakes over you slowly as you hang helplessly against the wall. Ignoring the sudden stirring in your gut, you pull on the ropes. There. Your left hand. If you can just twist a little more….
Yoongi presses his blade against your throat. The cold metal bites into your skin as his other hand grips your shoulder, and you freeze, going completely still beneath his touch.
“What was that, pretty bird?” he asks, cat-like eyes targeted on your lips. “Say that again.” 
You glower at the handsome villain with the ginger hair. “I said, you. Are. Pathetic!”
His laugh echoes throughout the room. “Incredible. Even at death’s door, you’re still obnoxious.” He steps closer, face hovering above yours as he traces down your cheek with the tip of his weapon. You tilt your head away, inadvertently exposing more of your neck. “Look at this lovely blank canvas, just asking to be marked up. Should I use my blade or my teeth?” He snaps at you and you recoil despite the shiver that races through you. “No response? You’re not even going to beg for your life?”
“I’ll never beg,” you growl through grit teeth, eyes flashing. Yoongi smirks. 
“Let’s find out.” He sheaths his dagger and now both of his hands are around your throat, not squeezing, just resting heavily, as his thumbs trace over the hollow of your neck. “I can feel your pulse, pretty bird. It’s so fast. I think you’re terrified.”
You scoff, but you can feel your heart beating so fast, it’s threatening to jump out of your chest. 
Yoongi licks his lips, humming happily. “I think I could have you begging in no time. Asking for sweet release.” His fingertips flutter over your cheek. “I bet you’d beg so sweetly.” 
You’re so close. Just keep him distracted. 
“Fuck off,” you spit out, “you couldn’t give me the release I want if you tried.” 
Yoongi pauses. He squints.
“What was that?”
Shit. You’re really bad at this whole banter thing. It’s probably your least favorite part of the superhero gig.  Maybe you should ask Namjoon for some help. The man’s got a wicked tongue.
“Nothing, nevermind! You’re - you’re so fucking lame,” you sneer, but from the grin on Yoongi’s face, you know he’s not buying it. 
“Why, pretty bird, you surprise me! I wasn’t referring to that type of release, but I am… amenable… to suggestions like that,” he purrs, one hand dropping to your waist as he chuckles. His long fingers stroke your side.
Focus. On the restraints, god, not on his hand or the way that his deft fingers are etching tiny circles into your hip…
There!
“I have another suggestion,” you whisper, biting your lip. Yoongi watches your mouth with naked interest.
“And what is that?”
“Learn how to tie a proper knot, fucker.” 
The last thing Yoongi sees before your fist connects with his face is your smirk.
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ZZZZZZZRT!
Your laser sword buzzes against Hobi’s as you block another swing. He has you on your heels, retreating as he cuts through the air violently, a nasty grin on his lips. 
You curse yourself for letting your swordsmanship get so rusty and swipe at the villain as he cackles darkly. “Give it up, little bee,” he commands, and you raise the electric blade in time to prevent losing an ear. “You can’t defeat me like this. Your skills are no match for mine.” 
He’s not wrong. Once again without your powers, you have to rely on your other abilities, and wielding this fancy weapon is nowhere near the top of the list. 
“Defeat this!” you shout lamely, throwing a punch with your free hand, but he easily dodges, still laughing. You continue to back away, unaware that one of his henchmen lies unconscious behind you until you trip over the body and land on your ass. 
Fuck.
He advances slowly, taking his time. You’re both panting, dripping sweat. He runs a hand through his dark hair, lifting it from his gorgeous face. You hold your blade in front of you and he simply knocks it away, dropping his as well. 
He’s on you before you can react, kneeling over your thighs, one hand pinning your wrists to the ground while the other clutches at your throat. “I don’t even need any weapons now. I can break you with my bare hands.” His grip is ironclad, but you keep struggling anyway, trying to break free as his fingers stroke your chin. “Come now, no need to fight anymore. Don’t you want to give in? Let me take control?”
A heat pools in your belly. You can so easily imagine what it would be like. 
It scares you to no end. 
“Fuck off, you monster,” you scowl. “I’ll never let you have control.” Inhaling shakily, you do your best to glower up at him as his hand rubs your stomach, like he can sense the heat coiling there and seeks to stoke it. 
Hobi sighs. “It could be so sweet, little bee. Just say the word and I’ll show you.”
“If you’re going to kill me, do it already and spare me this bullshit.” 
“Kill you? I’m offering you the chance at pleasure, and you’re asking me to kill you?” His eyes narrow. “You disappoint me so.” 
“Do it. Finish me off. Don’t torture me by promising me pleasure you can’t deliver,” you spit back.
Hobi just laughs. “Seriously? Now you’re trying to goad me into proving it to you, so you can get the upper hand again?”
Well, actually, yes. Goddamn stupid banter. You’ve got to get better at this distraction tactic.
He shakes his head. “After all this time, I truly expected better from you. This lame attempt won’t work.” 
“Whatever,” you seethe, sneering. “Doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be good like this anyway.”
“And what makes you say that?” Hobi inquires, raising an eyebrow.
“Because!” You summon all your strength and roll, hard, flipping your positions. As he stares up at you, mouth hanging open in surprise, you wink. “It’s always better when I’m on top!”
Grabbing your sword, you smack him with the hilt, knocking him out. 
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Jimin clicks the overhead projector off and the wall goes black. 
Hobi folds his arms. “Did you call us here just to show us the videos of our latest defeats?” 
Yoongi cocks his head. “How did you show us the videos of our latest defeats? Did you have Jungkook hack our systems again?”
Jimin waves his hand. “We can discuss the how later. The reason why is pretty evident, don’t you think?” He takes a seat behind his desk, propping his feet up on the glass surface. “You’ve both lost your touch.” 
Hobi arms the laser gauntlets he wears while two blades slide out of Yoongi’s sleeves. 
“Hold on, hold on,” Jimin attempts to placate the two before they unleash hell. He just got the blood out of his rug after the last time. “All I’m saying is, it’s way past time that someone removes Vitality from the board for good. Watching those videos, it could have been either of you.” He tuts. “I even loaned you both my power disrupter tech and she still kicked your asses!”
“That tech is glitchy as fuck and you know it, Jimin-ah.” Yoongi mutters, sheathing his daggers, as Hobi nods in agreement.
“Yeah, I keep asking you to send me the specs so I can review them and figure out where the fuck you went wrong.” 
“The tech isn’t the issue,” Jimin maintains his brilliant smile, but his left eye twitches slightly. “You both had the world’s most powerful superhero in your clutches, completely at your mercy, and then you just… lost.”
“Hyung could’ve taken her out if he hadn’t been thinking with his dick,” Hobi drawls.
Yoongi blinks languorously at his ex. “You’re one to talk. What was that about ‘pleasure,” again?”
Hobi uncrosses his arms. “Of course you’d have no idea what I’m talking about.”
Yoongi swivels in his seat. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean??”
“Hey!” Jimin claps his hands. “I didn’t call this meeting so you two could relitigate your disastrous relationship for the millionth time.” 
When Jimin had sent out the evite for today’s meeting, he figured he’d have to do some cajoling or even some old-fashioned begging to get them both into his office once they realized what he’d done. After all, both have complained his ear off lately about the other. But instead, the two seemed to be under some tacit agreement to act as if everything were totally fine, like they weren’t in the presence of their most hated enemy. An unspoken contest to show who could give the fewest fucks.
He should’ve known that uneasy detente wouldn’t last.
Yoongi and Hobi stop glaring at each other to glare at the rainbow-haired man behind the desk instead.
“Then why did you call us here?” Hobi finally asks. 
“Because, I would like to propose a challenge.” Jimin beams, a deceptively angelic smile lighting up his beautiful face. Neither man responds. “Well? Aren’t you going to ask what I’m proposing?”
“No,” Hobi replies flatly.
“Just tell us what your warped little mind is scheming now,” Yoongi adds.
Jimin holds a hand over his heart. “Ouch. Okay. I’m proposing that the two of you go head-to-head in a battle to see who can defeat Vitality first. No more plans to freeze the entire planet or block out the sun or whatever the hell the two of you have been plotting lately. Time to focus on one goal: eliminating the enemy.“
Yoongi frowns. “Why a battle?” 
“Would you rather work together?”
The two men eye each other for several long seconds before both emphatically answer, “No.” 
“But why should it be the two of us and not, say, you?” Hobi inquires. 
“Because no one’s gotten as close as either of you, including me,” Jimin explains. 
“Because he wants us to do his dirty work,” Yoongi translates. 
“Ah, right.” 
“That’s not true!” Jimin insists. “I mean, yes, I would obviously benefit from you keeping her out of my hair, but… look, you both came so damn close. Don’t you want to finish the job?”
“Of course. I want her out of the way. But I’m not about to jump through a bunch of your hoops to get it done,” Yoongi informs him.
“No hoops! Just a simple competition. The two of you take her on one by one until someone finally annihilates her once and for all.”
“But… why?” Hobi asks, arching a brow. “What do we get out of this?”
Jimin spreads his hands. “Everything! Think about the boost to your reputation alone! The villain who defeats the strongest superhero in recorded history would be peerless, wouldn’t they? Top of the pecking order, cock of the walk, insert your favorite cliché here. No one would question your power.” 
Hobi scoffs. “I don’t give a fuck what others think of me.”
Yoongi laughs loudly, drawing an irate look from the other man.
“What the fuck are you laughing about?”
“Oh, please! You couldn’t possibly care more!”
“Fuck you, I’ve never given a damn ab-”
“I have three words for you,” Yoongi interrupts, holding up his fingers to tick them off. “The. Riga. Incident.” 
“You said you’d never bring that up again!”
“Oh, but you don’t care what people think, right? So maybe I should tell Jimin what happened in Latvia!”
“Fuck you!” Hobi’s on his feet.
“No, fuck you!” As is Yoongi.
And so is Jimin, diving between them. “HEY!”
Blades and gauntlets hover, waiting. The air is thick with tension. Jimin can feel a migraine lurking. 
“Calm. The fuck. Down.” He gently places a hand on each of their chests, guiding them back into their chairs. “You want to know why I thought a battle would be a good idea? This is why. I’ve tried to get the two of you to work your shit out and nothing’s helped. Maybe this way, you can funnel all of this anger into something useful. Something other than turning my rug into a goddamn bloody Jackson Pollack!”
Yoongi and Hobi continue to observe one another closely, monitoring for any signs of attack from the other as Jimin returns to his seat. Taking a deep breath, he straightens his tie, smooths the lapel of his gunmetal gray suit, and runs his hand through his colorful hair. The glossy facade returns as he smiles. 
“Gentlemen. Commit to this competition. Get rid of Vitality. Bring her to her fucking knees and destroy her. Once she falls, that stupid organization she works for won’t be far behind.” He chuckles derisively. “We all know she’s the only real threat to us. None of the other supers can hold a candle to her power. They’ll be easy pickings once she’s out of the way. And when that group is gone, the path to total domination will be clear. Take Vitality out,” he stands again, leaning over his desk, “and there’s nothing stopping you from taking over the world.” His tiny fist pounds his desk for extra oomph.
Jimin’s dramatic as fuck, Yoongi thinks, but dammit if he’s not persuasive.
“Fuck it. I’m in,” Hobi declares, holding out a hand. Yoongi flattens his lips, taking a second to decide, before shaking it. 
“Excellent!” Jimin rubs his hands excitedly. “We can work out the terms of the challenge later. I’m fucking starving - should we grab some dinner?” 
“Hold on. I still want to talk about how you got those videos,” Yoongi states, blades flashing into the air again as Hobi rearms his gauntlets. Jimin gulps. 
He knew he should’ve bought a red rug.
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Sitting up with a start, you glance wildly around your room. “What the fuck was that?”
“Mmmm?” Namjoon lifts his head, licking his plush lips. “What?”
“I felt something. Something… different.”
“Oh, that? I just turned this on. Sorry, guess I should’ve warned you.” He pulls his hand from where it’s currently engaged, and wiggles his fingers. A bright purple vibrator waves at you from his index. 
You frown at the hunky man lying between your legs. “Christ, Joon, not the vibrator. I obviously noticed that, and don’t you fucking think about taking it off, but I also felt something else. Like a change in the air.” 
“Ohhhhh shit, like a fluctuation in one of your energy field thingys or something?”
Or something. Thanks to your superpowers, you see things a little differently than others do. The world is bathed in a multi-colored glow thanks to the energy fields present in everything - every living creature and every object - that you’re able to perceive. Kinetic, potential, radiant, etc. - doesn’t matter the type, all of these leave you viewing life through a constant prism.
But lately, not only can you see these fields, you can feel them. 
And something just shifted somewhere, hard enough that it sent a crazy shiver down your spine.
Or maybe that was just Joon and his magic touch.  
“Do you wanna go talk to Doc? Visit the lab?”
Why bother? Since you’re the world’s first known energy vampire (you really wish you’d had a say in the nomenclature, because that name sounds like you’re an exceedingly dull office drone and not the most powerful being on the planet), your powers do nothing but consistently stump the scientists. All they really know is that you feed off the fields, absorbing the energy, and your body transforms it into a concussive force that you use to fight.
Besides, it’s ridiculous that you have to report anything to anyone, anyway. No one can challenge your status as the most formidable superhero in existence. Shouldn’t they all be reporting to you?
You really gotta work on that whole “no I in team” thing. 
“Eh, won’t do any good. They don’t know shit.” Lying back, you resume your comfortable position on your pillows.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind if you need to stop.”
You raise your head, giving your teammate a look. “Excuse me? You promised you’d give me, and I quote, ‘the squirt of a lifetime’ tonight. Are you trying to back out?”
“Fuck no.” Namjoon clicks the vibe on again. His finger begins to shake. “I’m just warming up, baby. You’re gonna soak these sheets. I fuckin’ promise.” 
“Back to work, then.” 
The soft yellow aura emanating from Joon brightens as he returns to his task, and you let his ministrations carry you away, trying to forget the strange sensation from earlier. 
It only takes two orgasms before you both succeed.
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© 2022-23 by sunshinerainbowsbts/minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost.
Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜 
TAGLIST: @nch327 ; @dearbambideer ; @sabrinareadsbts ; @babycoffeefire ; @parkdatjimin ; @reliablemitten ; @yuugehn ; @ut-dixisti ; @hesperantha ; @bonvoyagenoona ; @hobi-love ; @bangtanintotheroom ; @youcancallmemeimei ; @bbl32 ; @neverthefirstchoice ; @moonchild1 ; @blueversaillesdreams ; @nabiolive ; @akane82; @seokjinger-ale ; @bangtanintotheroom ; ​​@taeshuworld ; @hannahbee12719ficrecs ; @7minsuga96 ; @dvalitaes ; @wonieclub ; @thatlongspringnight ; @miscelunaaa ; @jinpanman ; @minttangerines; @vyduann; @herecomesjoon; @augustbutwinter; @thatlongspringnight; @lavienjin; @wwilloww; @xjoonchildx; @smasmashie; @acquiescence804 ; @itsirisz; @velvetskize
#okay so I wanted to start from the beginning bc I just got back on tumblr recently and saw there’s a chapter SEVENNNNN?#but I gotta do it the ✨right way✨ and scream in the tags of every single chapter I apologize in advance#first of all HOW ARE SOPE NOT EMBARRASSED??? HOW ARE SOPE NOT /EMBARRASSED/??? THEIR BOSS CAUGHT THEM EACH HITTING ON YN AKA VITALITY IN 4K#IN 4K!!!#LIKE clearly they want to kill her but they also want to fuck her HELP!!!! i love this kind of shit tho don’t mind me I’m just saying#yoongi trying to put it all one Hobi w ‘thinking with your dick’ BRO WE WERE THERE!!! CMON NOW YOONGI!!!#also I love how vitality like. isn’t the smoothest and actually flubs on any witty remarks lol it’s a funny and imo cute trait of hers#bc coming up w witty shit on the spot isn’t easy especially w a knife and hot villain at your throat hello#also butter! jimin!!!! yes!!!#i also like this hero yn because she’s…different#‘shouldn’t they all be reporting to /you?/‘ like babe you’re absolutely right they SHOULD BE#you should be in charge w the underlings and subordinates and wow yknow maybe yn chose the wrong profession#bitch you could be the villain boss if you flipped right now come on let’s go I believe in you!!!!#also namjoon HELLO?? good for yn#i am loving this story already!!#also sope fighting was so juicy like did I feel abt them fighting maybe .2% the rest was like OH WOW HE SAID WHAT#now I wonder how things will progress…will they team up…will they end up fucking yn…would they get jealous over yn but also OF yn#until they both decide to work together and double team her pun intended#bc like. yn seems kinda down even tho she isn’t atm#i for one would like to see yn become jimins and therefore sopes new boss bc she’s that girl#thank you for this chapter and this fun story idea!! i am soooo invested!!
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starryserenade · 2 years ago
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Okay, so instead of being the usual 7 - 9 pages that my chapters normally are, I'm now coming up on 11 for this one and I'm just trying to decide if that's going to be too long because by the time I'm done, there's a good chance it will be 12 or more
It's a little funny considering this was almost my shortest chapter so far at roughly 6 pages...so idrk how it doubled but here we are.
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afterglowsainz · 6 months ago
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supernatural | carlos sainz
summary: no one knows you and carlos are dating until he wins the australian grand prix and you have to interview him post-race
fc: lissie mackintosh (kind of!!)
a/n: this was very inspired by THAT video of íker casillas and sara carbonero after spain won the world cup in 2010, iykyk 😮‍💨
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carlossainz55 enjoying the last free days in australia before going back to work 🌴🐨
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username god i am NOT your strongest soldier
username omg the koala in the 2nd pic so cute 🥰
username the last pic 😩😩😩
scuderiaferrari exciting weekend ahead 🔥
username 🔥🔥🔥 indeed
username wondering who took the pics… 👀
username forza ferrariiii
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yourusername ready for australia! 🦘
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username so excited!!
username omg where’s the dress from? 😍
yourusername h&m💕
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username excited to see you cover this weekend 🤩
bffusername gorgeous!
yourusername says you 🤤
alexandrasaintmleux love you!! excited to see you💘
yourusername ALEX🤍🤍
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carlossainz55 P1 in australiaaa! what a rollercoaster🎢 let’s keep it coming
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scuderiaferrari congratulations carlos❤️
username smoothest operation to day🍾
username oh i see we’re hard launching now 👀
username i meaaan he did kissed her in front of everyone at albert park AND international television
landonorris congrats carlitos 🌶
charlesleclerc good job mate! 👊🏼
username why is no one talking about the fact that y/n and carlos are dating!!! since when!!!
username right??? like am i the only one shocked by this??
username we need answers seriously
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yourusername and that’s a wrap in australia🫶🏽 congrats, my pretty boy🤍 (ladies don’t get too close or he’ll try to kiss you on national television!)
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carlossainz55 you’re too funny amor 🤣
carlossainz55 i love you ❤️
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francisca.cgomes like a year ago!
username GIRL
username hottest couple in the paddock confirmed
username god when will it be my turn 😞
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majorpatheticcas · 7 months ago
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May I have this dance? 🌹
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"I gotta be honest with you, kid. I'm not the smoothest dancer, but hey, at least we're dancing, right?"
Anon design by: @htsan
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