#The question is who is the most cringe and fail. For the humour of the situation!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

More silly MXTX polls to mull over for the week:

[leikeliscomet]

Flop and Bubble - I’m Not Stanning RTD2’s Racial Commentary

On Dot and Bubble, experiencing fandom backlash and what this means for the Black Brit (or lack thereof) in the writer’s room.

Part 1 - The Episode

If you’ve already seen my posts, I don’t like this episode. At all. I watched it on Friday night with everyone else not knowing what to expect and live-tweeted away. It wasn’t worth the late night stream. I rewatched it on Saturday and still felt disappointed. Apart from 50 minutes of cringe millennial/Gen Z parody, mid social media commentary, boring aliens and a whole intense, action-filled scene dedicated to Lindy trying to walk in a straight line, Dot and Bubble tried to give us a racism commentary too, which in all honestly felt like someone was taking the piss. Opening up Twitter and Tumblr to see this episode being called the best of the season and ‘the greatest’ episode of nuwho felt like a 73 Yards of my own. Most posts about how ‘groundbreaking’ and ‘important’ this story is make my eyes roll into the back of my head I’ll be honest with you. I don’t wanna copy and paste everything I’ve already said in my original thread (here’s the Tumblr version), but I’ll recap my main issues with it.

The predominantly white casting fails as a racism commentary in a show that’s already predominantly white. White fans who’ve grown up in white areas watching a predominantly white show have no reason to question why that show would be white too. It’s their default. Including that of the writer's room, as there were no Black writers for series 14. White fans who didn’t notice the white casting have no reason to. Why would they when the show has catered to them for most of its run? There is no fundamental difference between Dot and Bubble’s predominantly white cast and the all-white main cast of Series 6 or the episodes of RTD1 where Martha or Mickey were the only Black characters of the episode. But only one of these results in pearl-clutching. The self-flagellation from white fans late to notice felt very strange. Apart from the guilt of not noticing something they had no incentive to notice, nothing productive comes from this guilt. Being upset about having white privilege is an acknowledgement I guess, but what material actions are coming from this? RTD and co. wanted a message about predominantly white representation then didn’t have any Black writers in the room to create that message. There’s no point in gasping at how white the table is and then not offering Black people a place to sit. Dot and Bubble wasn’t a new story either, as it was originally planned for the Moffat era instead. What would the ending look like for the 11th Doctor? No bowties allowed? To say this episode sprinkled in racism last minute doesn’t seem that far-fetched considering it wasn’t originally a part of the script in the first place. How can I credit an ‘intentional’ build-up of microaggressions to the big racism reveal in the last 10 minutes when they were never originally there to begin with? How can this be a good commentary on the Black experience when Black writers were not only missing but the Black main character himself?

RTD Who’s campness is already something I disliked from RTD1, but for the big white supremacy episode out of all to choose from was just in poor taste to me. I already hated the Love and Monsters style episodes of the OG RTD run, but for an episode that represents systemic racism of all things felt like a slap in the face. Not to say racism can’t exist in comedy because it can. Many Black writers including in the shows I recommend later in the thread do this, but they use humour as the Black characters’ coping mechanism for racism. The actions of the racist characters aren’t minimised because of this. Dot and Bubble doesn’t have the range for this that Doctor Who fans think it does. Lindy’s incompetence is a way for Fifteen, Ruby and the audience to look down on her in the sense she’s clapped basically and her racism comes from the fact she’s unintelligent. But in the real world, white supremacy is a lot smarter. White supremacist rhetoric is hidden and cloaked intentionally so it can’t be noticed and this is used as a way of recruiting white people to join in and maintain it. White supremacy is a system constructed for the purpose of oppressing Black people and other people of colour. It’s a bit more than a few silly billies trust me. Even if we do entertain the idea of ‘accidental racism’ the only reason it happens is because of this white supremacist conditioning which tells white people it’s okay. It’s not your fault for being born in this system but it’s absolutely your fault for continuing to maintain it when you have the choice not to. The only sign of intellect Lindy has comes from when she betrays Ricky and gets him killed. This was what Lindy could’ve been. A white woman who weaponises her incompetence and innocence to her own advantage because she knows how it will benefit her in a white supremacist state. An episode with a darker tone exploring racism in a technological dystopia. This is what fans think the episode did but frankly, it didn’t, but they wanted it to because they idolise RTD to the point of creating his writing intentions for him. Lindy didn’t weaponise being incompetent she is incompetent. Her incompetence is attached to her social media obsession and youth and without these things she lacks even more intelligence than she already does. The episode promotes the idea that racism is the product of low intelligence and overreliance on technology. She is a walking talking caricature for the fans to project onto than a real person capable of actual harm. Apart from the ableist connotations that the lower the intelligence the lesser the person morally, it’s an overly basic and mediocre representation of racism. I won’t speak for the Black people who do relate to the representation of Lindy as a racist, but for me personally, the Lindys of my life were never silly in their racism. They knew what they were doing. They knew no matter how harmless their actions were (to them not me that is), they would get away with it. And they did. I didn’t have time to laugh about how silly the racists I’d met were. I was too busy trying to survive. It’s hard to giggle about being smarter than a racist when they hold the power to dehumanise you completely. What use is an intellectual high horse then?

Speaking of projecting onto characters, I don’t care about Ricky September. His main role was to get Lindy to walk in a straight line and find the escape. He provided as much interest to the episode as water adds flavour to white bread. Ricky is raised in the exact same Finetime conditioning as Lindy but he’s an antiracist icon because he likes walking and books I guess. White fans will be disappointed to know that racists can read and exist outside too. He becomes the ideal white man, a white saviour we’re supposed to distance from the rest of Finetime. The episode again reaffirms that racism is about moral character and not a system. The Ricky Midtembers of my life still benefit from racism even if they are just are just ‘nice’ white guys. Ironically, Ncuti Gatwa’s interview about white mediocrity becomes relevant again. Ricky is put on a pedestal for just existing, expecting applause from the audience. My hands are staying still.

What makes the episode’s politic even more flimsy is how it’s missing from the rest of the season. In The Devil’s Chord, Fifteen opened the TARDIS doors in 1963 with an afro and big smile on his face and I was confused. The arrival of the Windrush generation, the Bristol Bus Boycott and the Notting Hill race riots had all taken place by the time Fifteen and Ruby landed. Would this play any key role in this historical British episode featuring a Black man as the Doctor for the first time? Nah! Only a week after D&B he and Ruby were kicking it with British aristocrats in Rogue, a group of people well-known for respecting Black people for sure! The show’s avoidance of addressing Black British experiences almost feels intentional at this point. Black British history is rarely if not never taught in the British education system, let alone the rest of the world. From previous discourses on Rosa, Thin Ice and Human Nature, ignorance about our history is so prominent in the Doctor Who fandom. White British fans can’t accept the idea of racism being British, not exclusively American, on the same level as the US or even worse. And the show passes up the opportunity yet again to debunk this. So far the show’s closest attempts were Human Nature/Family of Blood and Thin Ice, but even then these episodes had limits. We had Mary Seacole in War in the Sontarans but as the title suggests, the Sontarans were the focus of the episode, not her. Whilst some white fans think the futuristic focus is a smart move, it just highlights the lack of depth a Black perspective can provide. When was the racism of Britain’s past actually addressed? How on earth can you claim learning about Britain’s racist past is limited when you don’t even know about it? How can you address race in the future when you can’t even address it today? Racism can only exist in a futuristic world, far away from Earth in a fictional blue-blooded race of the white bourgeoisie because we can’t have this sci-fi-attempting-fantasy show getting too real. Dot and Bubble’s racism needs to exist in its own isolated white echo chamber so that the racism of the Doctor Who fandom’s one can stay intact.

Dot and Bubble is a failure because it reinforces the bias white fans already have. That as long as they aren’t a specific flavour of white person (rich, Christian, cisgender, heterosexual, allosexual, able-bodied, neurotypical and perisex) they can’t be capable of anti Black racism. The episode comforts them in knowing what they already want to be true and need to be true. They don’t have to question or self-reflect their own antiblackness because the episode doesn’t give them any reason to. Why should they? They’re a Ricky not a Lindy, right? The white fans ‘saddened’ by Lindy’s low assumptions about Black men will continue in their hatred of Ryan Sinclair, Danny Pink and Mickey Smith. The white fans disgusted by Lindy’s disgust will keep going on about how ‘off’ they feel about Martha Jones but ‘don’t know why’. The white fans that ‘hate’ Lindy’s hatred of Ruby and Fifteen’s close proximity will keep gagging at the thought of the Doctor having any romantic connection to Martha Jones because she ‘deserved better than that’. The white fans ‘heartbroken’ for the ‘first’ Black doctor will keep erasing the Fugitive Doctor. The white fans that stan the ‘anti-racist’ slugs today will hate the Black people that fight against racism tomorrow. The white fans praising this episode for being ‘groundbreaking’ and ‘inspirational’ and ‘important’ will be racist to Black fans that dare to say that maybe it was a bit shit. And that is exactly what happened.

The fandom’s praise of Fifteen’s compassion, kindness and humanity (of a Time Lord that is)  hinges on him being a ‘good’ Black man for the racists that hate him to the core. If he hadn’t begged and screamed to save Lindy, that praise would’ve been revoked instantly. Fans uncomfortable at his anger towards the Chuldur and the killing of the Goblin King confirm this. Despite the long morally grey history of the Doctor, Fifteen’s darkness is uniquely ‘out of character’ because thanks to bigeneration this isn’t supposed to happen anymore (allegedly). Deep down, this is what the white audience wants. There can never be an alternative to Dot and Bubble’s ending. It’s easier to imagine racism as an inevitable part of the natural order we must experience for the sake of storytelling, the only form of conflict that Black characters and people can ever have than that we could ever, just maybe, say ‘no’ to the white standards put before us. We must beg. We must be nice. We must be compassionate. Even when history and current events have shown us time and time again white supremacy can’t be killed with kindness. Why take the boot off your neck when you can find out how strong and brave you are for handling it instead? Either that or just pretend it doesn’t exist. White incarnations of the Doctor on the other hand have and will continue to be the radical icons of the show because unlike Fifteen, white characters will always be given more agency to explore their actions and behaviours. Punch racists! Free the Ood! Stan the anti-racist slugs and eat the rich! Slay!

When Black people stop chasing after the boat, we don’t get this same radical praise. We pay a price. And the response to Dot and Bubble’s criticism would ironically prove this.

Part 2 ->

[katyspersonal]

Hey for the fandom ask let’s change a little i’m curious to know what you think of Deltarune characters (& Undertale if no one else ask)

Oh, alright! Yeah, I do not address UTDR all that often despite avidly awaiting Deltarune's completion... This happens when I am into a thing but choose to not interact with the fandom! I will separate the games because even though UT and DR share some characters, even they are slightly differently portrayed.

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

DELTARUNE:

❤Favorite character

This motherfucker is some of the most intimate and personal a character ever got to be for me:

I was actually so surprised by Literally Everything about him that I needed several days to process his EXISTENCE xD I absolutely love every single line he makes, and I feel strange deep relation to him (not kinnie one, but it feels spiritual). We are just on the same wavelength about being huge l00sers, being cringe but with a unique charisma, having intense mood swings, using weird humour and, of course, the whole 'perceiving the world as a simulation and going insane because of it'... I wish there was a legit term for 'the character I do not kin yet relate to and feel emotions of like they were my own'. I also once had a weird dream about him fusing with me into one entity to get to be 'real' using my human soul, and trust me, that was a whole TRIP for a considerable time. :')

👿Least favorite character

I will have to say Jevil, but this isn't entirely fair... Like I said, I am not ABLE to dislike a fictional character, ESPECIALLY by Toby, but with Jevil it is a love/hate relationship, so he is the only one who can even approach ;-; He is same category as Patches Fromsoft: the 'You have a lot to love about you, but... WHY.' kind of character. xD

💐Comfort character

Deltarune version of Asgore is THE definition of the soft man. Somewhat lingers with me that in UT timeline he murdered children, but... this just doesn't get to me. After all, most people are capable of terrible atrocities, it is only a matter of whether they meet the conditions that bring it up in them or not. Hehehe...

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

Surprisingly, not Spamton! We are only [[Serious Business Offer]], my [[babygirl]]! Instead, I fucking HAD to have a crush on the hypocritical weather wane bitch ass motherfucker idiot Rouxls Kaard! x_x I still can't justify it to this fucking day. I tend to only like characters that are smart and complex, but I guess his Style TM and charisma alone are irresistible.

🤝Character you relate to the most

You probably won't believe me, but... Noelle? Yeah, I know, this is very hard to communicate because she is sweet and soft but I am rude and abrasive, to say the least. Nonetheless, I am as far as kinning this character. There is a side of me that is alas not shown very often, however, close friends know of it. Christmas is my favourite holiday, I am very smart and talented but let people use me, I ask too many questions, I have some kindness to me, I am anxious and get startled easily, I am actually easy to push around the closer you are... Heck, sometimes I switch full mode into speaking like her, feeling like her and envisioning myself as her in my mind. x_x

It is a side of me that no longer shows often, nonetheless, it is still alive, like a soft core under a very thick skin. I also started to SERIOUSLY relate to her history after learning of the Snow Grave route.

🔥Character you think is overrated

I ammmm gonna say, Spamton NEO version! When this character became really popular, it felt as though everyone only cared about his NEO form! Yeah, they are the same character, actually, but it is more about the delivery! If you don't love Spamton at his 'silly super short failing salesman that lives in the trashcan', you don't deserve him at his 'tall cool robot' form!!!!1! /lh

🧨Character you love to hate

Rouxls Kaard again! I know, it is the only DR character that gave me even a semblance of attraction, but I will always bully him for the coward and hypocrite siding with the winning side that he is XD

🙈Character you always forget exists

That one red blob with a face that characters always act around as if that's their friend and someone famous. See, I do not even remember their name! This is how much I forget about them!

🐰Favorite non-human character

Deltarune has only one human character to begin with, so I will use this field as 'favorite unexplored character' instead. Well, I was actually rather fond of Diamond King in my time! Gave him hella headcanons and all that!

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

ALL THE KINGS!!!!!!!! Diamond, Heart and Club Kings - because they were just a haha funny cameo with only Diamond King having at least SOME lines. Spade King was handled well enough in the canon, but it was the fandom that gave him pretty bad treatment - from neglecting the nuance of his character to the outright ableism (I am serious). But even fandom aside, Spade King deserved better than having endured an obvious divorce from a rather shallow wife, being abandoned by his Knight and living in the bitterness about how Lightners treated the Darkners. No shit he became an unlikeable person. Like... can anyone treat him nicely?

UNDERTALE:

❤Favorite character

I love them all, but THE favorite got to be Undyne!

She is already the badass fish girlfriend in the normal timeline, however, her best traits sure get to shine in Merciless Route. Her speech about humans and monsters hearts beating as one just to continue existing absolutely won me over. The coolest character, hands down.

👿Least favorite character

No such thing, sorry! The closest I can think of is Muffet because unlike other bosses, she is Just There and is doing the smug anime girl moves, but she is still cute! Also I still like spiders ;-;

💐Comfort character

W. D. Gaster + Whatever fandom made out of W. D. Gaster (that mostly comes from interpreting Mystery Man sprite as him). But honestly, this character makes me happy! A mad scientist that accidentally cancelled his own existence and transcended beyond his own plane.

😍Character you have the biggest crush on

Stupid motherfucking Mettaton and his pretentious, full of self personality -_- Can you tell yet that I have a type? W. D. Gaster is the close second, however.

🤝Character you relate to the most

Honestly, Papyrus. Almost a kinnie. Again, something hard to explain, because you can see my personality doesn't match, but it is just... the whole 'looser that really wants approval but is THE manifestation of everything that won't make anyone except a few people appreciate him'. He is also silly, that I can relate to. I will turn goddamn full TWENTY SIX in April, but I am still just really silly and naive @_@

🔥Character you think is overrated

I don't know whether I want to say Sans, because he kindaaaaa deserved his popularity... I think it is more about how his potential was overrated. In every Undertale AU, he is the central figure, and like... THIS is my gripe. If you gonna alter universes, why not touch other characters?

🧨Character you love to hate

Mettaton, because he is a huge bitch, actually xd Like, yes, he is very attractive, but I also want to short his circuits and not in the way of a weird euphemism, but in a literal way :( Think of 'I want to strangle him' but in regards of a robot character. Fuck him for abandoning Napstablook and being mean to Alphys when she is clearly struggling with many issues in weird ways :( I still love him tho

🙈Character you always forget exists

Nice Cream guy! Only ever remember about him when he is brought up in his ship with Burgerpants.

🐰Favorite non-human character

Again, Undertale has like... TWO human characters, so I will reverse this point! Picking between All Two of them, I think I like Chara better than Frisk. They invoke so much sympathy, they were the only one who truly understood Asriel (by his OWN admission!), they take lacking trust and bullshit very seriously and were clearly a very strong-willed child.

❤️‍🩹Character who deserved better

The entire Dremurr family, including Chara. I mean... the whole plot sprouts from the tragedy of this family, so I guess this part is a no-brainer. Honorable mention is Alphys in the ending variant where Mettaton becomes the king, because it is heavily implied that she either committed minecraft or simply was in a terrible mental space enough to distance and disappear from society. I am thinking about that timeline every now and then. I even had a lost concept of her trying to run away from everything that fell on her and falling into rift in time, that changed her permanently. A never developed AU because people in a Discord server dissed my overly elaborate idea :(

Thank you for the ask though! I don't get to talk about UTDR side of me all that often, despite how much it means for me!

[corkywantstowrite]

for Eithne:

"I don't think about her as much, not anymore."

relatively loosely. She views anybody who's kind to her a friend.

Rarely. Eithne disguises her grief with humour, or reminiscing on older, happier times. In reality, she needs to let it all out and grieve.

She used to write poetry. She tried to again, but it was all about her mother so she gave it up. Perhaps Margot will incite something again.

She cannot cry on command, but if she thinks too hard about her mum, something will probably happen.

Her favourite chocolate bar is a crunchie. She's never recommended it because she doesn't want anybody else to steal them from chocolate selection boxes. Also, she doesn't go around recommending chocolate very often.

If I yell 'MARGOT NEEDS YOU.' loud enough she'll quite literally fly. If Margot yells literally anything, she'll get the same result.

I was trying to think of the best way to sum this up in my answer to question 2. Eithne uses the term 'friend' very loosely, but she's strict with how deep that friendship goes. Yes, she could consider somebody a friend, but her love for them is not as nonchalant. She uses 'I love you' carefully.

She gives gentle love, but has been around tough love her whole life. Maybe that's why.

She can speak a bit of Irish. (More than me...)

'Why are you afraid of snakes?' (On a school trip to the zoo aged 9, a snake escaped from an enclosure whilst Eithne and her friends were in the reptile room. She looked down, and it was right next to her foot. Her life flashed before her eyes before the zookeeper told her it was harmless...)

Margot's attempts at Mario Kart.

At the start of the novel, a lot. She stops faking so much when people point out that feeling inconsolable about her loss is normal, and she doesn't need to hide it. She needs people to tell her it's okay to let her guard down.

A little half-hearted blow that doesn't work, followed by another one that fails, followed by standing directly over it, holding her hair back, and blowing on it for ten seconds straight.

At work she has the classic 'customer service' voice, and her English accent is more prominent. Anywhere else, she's a lot more fast talking and more Irish than English. (Born in England but raised by two Irish parents, so her accent's all over the place at times, like me but I'm less Irish.)

She definitely thinks through things to say to Vincent before she fights him. She also thinks of past customers she wishes she was ruder to but couldn't be.

Her gap in her two front teeth. Most people notice her eyes.

Margot. Margot could throw someone under a car in front of her and she'd help her hide the body.

Try and distract with a funny quip like "wow, bet you wish it was someone else, huh?" then she'd get something thrown at her.

She thinks Hugh Jackman is chill but Margot made her watch 'The Greatest Showman' and now she can't watch any of his other movies because it brings flashbacks of him in a top-hat. She loves Titanic but can't stand Leo Dicap.

Asking to be excused from a table. No, she won't do it. What is she? Five?

Going into an attic. Climbing an untrustworthy ladder into a dark, cold room filled with nostalgic items and spiderwebs? NO.

Wishing harm upon Killian. Beating her up, etc. Killian's used to it.

Of course. It was a chocolate digestive.

Female poets. Emily Dickinson especially.

Call her uncle and tell him to plead with his wife.

Her dad bought her a 'bi-fi signal' t-shirt when she first came out. It made her cringe but he looked so happy that she wears it to every pride event she attends.

She tells people she wants revenge. Really, she just wants someone to blame, and someone to listen to her.

"Yeah, sounds about right."

If she messes up at work, for example, and gives someone the wrong key or doesn't schedule them in for something, she usually doesn't feel a whole lot of guilt because they overreact over a simple mistake. When it's personal, she stresses that they'll take it to heart. She feels a lot of guilt even when they don't.

Sort of a spoiler here, but she feels a lot of guilt when she realises that if she was in Vincent's position, she would want the same things too. She feels guilt when she realises she can be selfish.

Beeped a horn for a reason other than alerting traffic. In her defence, the person in front of her had a 'honk if you're gay' sticker.

"Oh my God, Hi!" squeaky voice, gritted teeth, crazy eyes. Or a death glare and nothing else.

"Hey," peaceful, relaxed. Comfortable.

... murder. JK JK JK. Snooping around through other's things. Regularly.

Her aunt. PFFT. Otherwise she'd be out of a job.

She's absolutely terrified of losing them, to the point she'd suffer even if she was unhappy because she doesn't want to be alone.

Once again, the poetry. The idea of someone finding the poems she wrote aged 13 with the poorly hidden lines about girls is enough to kill her.

Excluded if not wanted, but mostly so she can turn up anyway.

"Did I just fail at a handshake? Something that is possible and normal to be upset about?"

Biting her thumb nail when bored. Her mum used to do it too.

Losing a parent young. The title would be some kind of pun.

(This is all I'm going to do for now)

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS

What’s the lie your character says most often?

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

What’s a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

How loose is their use of the phrase ‘I love you’?

Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

When do they fake a smile? How often?

How do they put out a candle?

What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

What’s the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it’s personal versus when it’s professional?

When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

If they committed one petty crime / misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

How do they greet someone they like / love?

What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell?

What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with?

What’s a phrase they say a lot?

Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

Who would / do they believe without question?

What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

What’s a simple daily activity / motion that they mess up often?

How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

[madamspeaker]

When the English don’t understand the Irish, and then bash Nancy Pelosi for it.

I am constantly struck by how tone deaf and utterly ignorant the English press are when it comes to cultural issues outside the "English" experience. In the last two days we've had two opinion pieces (one in The Telegraph, and the other in The Times) taking issue with Nancy Pelosi and "the poem". I am not here to speak to the artistic merits of said poem by Bono, or of its delivery by the Speaker - I am not a poetry critic - but I find it most notable that pretty much everyone attacking it has failed to factor in the context of which it was spoken - the Friends of Ireland Lunch, on St Patrick's Day. See this is the thing that most English folk miss (and a good few other folk too), St Patrick's Day is always 90% cringe. I say this as someone born and raised on the island of Ireland - the whole damn day is one epic excuse to bask in cliche and the kind of rampant sentiment that makes a Frank Capra movie seem like Scorsese in comparison. There's good reason for it though. The Irish are fundamentally a sentimental nation. Now in Ireland that sentiment is heavily peppered with a lot of dry wit, dark humour, and a kind of twisted appreciation for the morbid and the odd that tempers the sugar. That aspect is largely missing however among the diaspora, which when you consider the reasons for the Irish diaspora, makes a lot of sense. The reason there are so many Irish Americans is that families fled the homeland over decades, either because of famine (I should probably call it a genocide here given that the occupying British did nothing to intervene as the Irish population literally starved to death in front on them - the population has yet to recover in numbers), or because for decades the Irish economy was such an utter disaster that the prospects for young people to get any job were next to nil. My point though is that the diaspora will always be sentimental because they left the homeland as a last resort - during the famine it was leave or most likely die (and many died on the journey) - so when it comes to events like St Patrick's Day, the sentiment is always at the fore, and especially in places where the fleeing Irish made their home.

Now the lunch in question is usually cliche central - a grand mix of the tralalalala music as I call it, obligatory Riverdance (because god forbid anyone remember that Ireland has produced other theatre), ties in various shades of green, and usually moderately funny speeches. Events in Ukraine rather made business as usual at that lunch impossible. The press would have been up in arms had President Biden (the second Irish American president) appeared at the lunch and just ignored what was happening in Ukraine during his remarks, because here's the other thing, and perhaps what Bono was trying to highlight with the poem - the Irish may well have more of a clue than most when it comes to what the Ukraine is facing (a bullying bigger neighbour who imagines itself superior in every way, taking the land by force, committing acts of genocide, all in the name of.. well for the British it was Empire. For Putin it's some notion of Imperial Russia or the USSR). I can imagine that for Murray in The Telegraph and Long in The Times, that comparison is rather unpleasant to digest or dwell on, assuming either are even capable of understanding the history between England and Ireland. The English are essentially Russia when it comes to Ireland. Long's piece rather hilariously compares the poem to Schwarzenegger's direct piece to camera talk to the Russian people, which of course completely misses the point that they are wholly different things with different target audiences. Does she imagine that Nancy was delivering that poem to Russians? Or Ukrainians? No. That poem was for the folks in that room, most of which have some personal connection to Ireland via an ancestor who got on a boat nearly two centuries ago because the occupying forces of from country next door sat back and gleefully watched everyone die. That poem was for people who take some comfort in the sentimentality of being Irish decended, and that history of how they got there etc. And yes, it was followed by Riverdance, which might well seem an odd transition to most, but I doubt anyone in that room thought it too odd, because this has always been the way of the diaspora - the sad living side by side with cultural moments from home (now maybe it should have been followed a sad lament on a fiddle instead, but then some other overpaid smartass would have no doubt found issue in that too). Schwarzenegger's rather amazing video is in no way compariable - different target audience, different message, just different in every way, but of course Long, who is probably one of the nastier writers on The Times' payroll, just misses this because why let a little thing like fact get in the way of a good bashing of Nancy Pelosi, Bono, and Irish earnest sentiment in general. The Murray bit in The Telegraph likewise goes off on Nancy and the poem (the article is actually an astonishingly nasty rant by some Brit who seems to irrationally hate a woman who is geographically nowhere near him, has no legislative power over him, and who has no idea who he is -- it's an extraordinary testament to how some men just cannot handle women having power, regardless of where they are). I know most of the media these days don't need much of an excuse to go after Nancy Pelosi - but I do find it somewhat pathetic that two Brits got paid to do this, for two papers that Americans most likely don't read, and that Nancy is unlikely to see - and that her grand crime for such vitriol is reading aloud an overly earnest poem by an Irish rockstar (who artistic merits aside, had good intentions!) at an event and on a day in which over sentimentality is the theme, because anyone with even a basic understanding of Ireland would know that this how it always is, and that events in Ukraine would highlight that history even more.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 8

Releasing two chapters today in honour of my birthday! I am officially 23 years old. Oh my God, what the fuck? I feel ancient.

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: I started writing this for porn and now? Look at all this plot. Disgusting! Featuring: the Hulk, more Bruce fluff, and DISASTER PARENTS. It's gonna get worse before it gets better y'all.

My beta, @miscmarvelwritings is the Peter to my Tony. Love you 3000, baby.

The beeping startled me awake, the haze of my recent memory made me very unsettled. Last thing I remembered was laying down on the couch and Peter's admission - the little! Guy! Was! Spider-Man! Holy! Shit!

Beeping intensified and I heard grumbling and shuffling coming from the side of me. A warm sensation engulfed my right hand and I smiled. I'd recognize that hand anywhere. Bruce was in the room with me so I was definitely in a safe place.

Me eyelids parted meeting a set of oddly fluorescent green eyes. Holy fuck, that was no Bruce, it was... But how? His form was slouched in an uncomfortable position over the bed, crease marks on his face. It was Bruce's body, Bruce's face but who held control over it - he was no Bruce Banner.

"No worry, Princess is safe," The voice that left his mouth was much more primal, with an unmistakable growl underneath. He watched me, alert, scanning my face with unblinking eyes. "Bruce asleep now. I keep watch."

I swallowed the unease. "Hi, Hulk, and thank you," Squeezing his hand very, very gently. "Nice to meet you, by the way."

He grinned, all teeth and sharp canines. He looked like a wolf. The look was so out of place on usually gentle Bruce's face that I had to study it, had to memorize that stark difference between Banner and his alter ego. The smile faltered slightly as he closed his eyes. "Bruce waking up now. See you soon." And with that, his head fell onto his arm, dead weight and limp.

His hair was tousled, a curly mess, and he wore the same shirt I remembered him in. Upon closer inspection it still bore minor stains of what I assumed was my blood. It was probably the only time I would get to look at him, really look at Bruce without the fear of being caught, being weird or getting misinterpreted. He was really handsome, the five o'clock shadow silver on his usually neatly shaved chin, his jawline was firm and... He really was beautiful.

His eyes slowly blinked open, the usual colour brown. Noticing me awake, Bruce immediately perked up. "Morning. How do you feel?" He asked, voice croaky and sleep-drunk.

It sent shivers down my spine. "I'm good, nothing feels amiss besides the left part of my face. That's kind of puffy," I admitted, failing to describe the full-and-pulling sensation I was currently experiencing. "I met the Hulk. He was nice." I added as an afterthought. Thought he should know.

Bruce frowned. "He does that sometimes. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I think, I think I'd like to meet him properly one day," I admitted my biggest curiosity. After all, I've already met real aliens.

Bruce seemed speechless for a moment. "Are you sure?" He stuttered. "He's...a bit much," He parroted my previous comment about my house, much to my amusement. "You sure it's not the concussion talking?" Banner squinted at the monitor at my bedside, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm very sure," I squeezed the hand I was still holding in quiet affirmation. "Besides, he promised to see me soon."

"Oh did he," Bruce muttered darkly but I could see his face brighten nonetheless. "Right, so I'm going to call in Strange and we can see about unhooking you from all these things," Bruce gestured to the various wires and monitors.

True to his word, Strange waltzed in no more than ten minutes after Bruce called him. Seeing me, the usually stoic man began snickering, unsuccessfully attempting to hide his amusement by swirling his cape in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion. I was not impressed, Bruce was not impressed and neither was Tony who walked in shortly after all the wires were removed from my persona.

"So... Is someone going to tell me why is Dumbledore so joyful this fine morning?" I crossed my arms under my boobs.

"You don't remember?" Tony snorted at my negative head shake. "Before you passed out, you demanded cake and said Wizard here looks like Benedict Cumberbatch. To be fair, I see the resemblance, but you...." Tony paused to snicker multiple times. "You managed to butcher up the guy's name multiple times, I swear to Thor, what came out of your mouth was..." The engineer laughed, making a broad and vague gesture with his hands. "What did she say? Bubble-butt Orgy-pants?" He asked Bruce who was as unsuccessful at hiding his laughter as Strange himself. Even the wizard's cape was bouncing.

I wheezed, suddenly coming to a realization. It wasn't a concussion induced lucid dream, I had actually said that. "It's really bold of you to assume I can pronounce and remember his name while I'm sober," I said. "I just call him British-guy Funny-name." Tony cackled at that, giving me a hearty thumbs up and ungracefully plopping down at the foot of my hospital bed.

"How do you feel, Buttercup?" He was looking earnestly at me now, his sparkling brown eyes big and round and worried.

I had to distract myself to keep from literally face-planting into his lap then and there. "Good, actually." Tony nodded happily, and I raised my finger. "But for the record, Doctor Strange..." I addressed the man who turned to me expectantly. "Please don't get pissed off, I have a request..." He nodded warily. "Don't shave? I mean, now that I can clearly see the resemblance between him and you... Please don't shave off the beard or you'll look like an angry aardvark."

The men in the room gaped, most of all, Stephen - his face was somewhere between resigned suffering and surprised disbelief.

"Angry... Aardvark..." Tony fuckin' WHEEZED. "Fuck a duck..." The engineer clutched at his stomach in an obnoxious fit of laughter, Bruce was snorting too. "The fuck is an aardvark?" The lone word seemed to have a magical effect on Tony, increasing his laughter with every time he repeated it out loud.

"Duly noted," Stephen nodded with as much seriousness as he could before cracking a reluctant smile. "I see that the healing technology Tony developed has worked well, if judging only by your sense of humour returning. Good," With that, he waved his hands about and the puffy feeling from my face disappeared. "I took some liberties and added a healing spell with Loki's help." Seeing my raised eyebrow, he elaborated. "Loki was deeply touched by your kind gesture towards his teammate and offered his help. You should be good to resume your daily activities by nightfall although I recommend you take it easy. And call your mother, she stopped by and instructed me to request you communicate at the first comfortable opportunity."

The mild pity and disdain on Strange's face told me that he was the one who had actually spoken with her. She must've been especially icy and bitter considering I had interrupted her daily routine with getting punched in the face. How inconvenient.

With that, Stephen left me with a parting pat on the shoulder, taking Tony with him - the engineer managed to squeeze a whole hug out of me before being bodily (magically?) dragged behind Strange. I was really uncomfortable with all the attention I was receiving wearing only a thin hospital gown and I told Bruce exactly that - promptly, Natasha arrived with a bag I recognised as my own, an ostrich Birkin that held a cute, soft cashmere loungewear set, some basic toiletries along with a set of underwear and a pair of slippers.

Evidently, my mother packed this bag. Never in a thousand years I would wear a $1200 worth of leisure clothing at a hospital. Even Natasha whistled when I first examined the bag's contents.

"Yeah, yeah, my mother's a bit much," I said, immediately cringing at how obnoxious that sounded.

"No shit," Natasha rolled her eyes. Something told me she'd met her too.

"Wait 'til you see my dad," I replied in an identical tone, disappearing behind the door to the bathroom. It was all very luxurious, extra and overall very Stark. Friday's voice coming from the ceiling made it known that I was still in the tower, the AI informed me of the date, time, weather and the further instructions to follow Natasha after I was done freshening up.

Showers had never felt so good.

I was greeted by muted cheers and a hefty brunch on the common floor. Lots of hugs, too, even Loki paused his brooding to give me an awkward, albeit very genuine embrace. I whispered a thanks for the spell which made the moody god considerably less moody - in fact, he smiled like a child on Christmas Eve. Suddenly, I felt much less out of place with my disaster self.

The pleasant part was done and I geared up to call my own personal curse.

"Hello, mother, it's kind of you to pick up," I started the usual. I could literally feel the confusion and concern of the people in the room piercing my back. "Sorry for interrupting your meeting. Yes, I am quite well now. No, Josh can keep running your errands, I will stay at Mr. Stark's for the time being. Tomorrow morning, probably, don't wait up. I will, absolutely. Oh, is he? Wow, that's amazing. I'm so happy," I chirped. My face was one of the suffering kind. "Yes, dinner on Friday night. Okay-I mean, yes, I will ask. He's actually right next to me." I paused to turn around and look at Tony, mouthing 'she wants me to invite you for dinner'.

Tony's speed was breaking the laws of physics as he snatched the phone right out of my hand. "Hello, this is Tony Stark speaking. You know, maybe you should come over to Stark tower. Yes, the whole family. Thanks, bye." He promptly pressed the end call button right as mother had started her goodbye-have a nice day-live long and prosper speech. "How the fuck do you put up with that woman?" He started at me with a mix of concerned incredulousity.

"She's an acquired taste," I groaned. "You just wait. My dad. I..." I literally had no words to describe the upcoming disaster. Tony had no idea what he just had condemned all of the tower's inhabitants to. "Why am I like this? Why are they like this?" I raised my head up to the ceiling as if the AI living in it could give me all the solutions to my life's problems.

"Get some rest, Princess," Bruce was kind enough to spare me any more misery as his warm, broad hand steered me towards the elevator by the small of my back.

As he dutifully fluffed my pillows and handed me a glass of water and my smartphone, I unashamedly basked in the soft attention I was receiving from the older man. I still felt somewhat groggy; best case, I'll fall right asleep and if the dreamland avoids me, I would browse tik tok and Instagram until something else would strike my fancy. The gentle murmur of him describing the latest lab incident I missed out on and the hands combing softly through my hair were the best sleep aides I could have ever asked for.

Bruce is too precious for this world. Too pure.

Friday rolled in with the force of a pissed off rhinoceros. Dad had flown in on a Thursday afternoon, stopping by the house to drop off his suitcase and happily dangle the keys of a brand new Chevrolet Corvette in front of my face before briefly stopping to ruffle my hair, kiss mother on the cheek and drive off into the sunset to "catch up with people at the studio". Jetlag wasn't a word in that man's vocabulary, he probably snorted a line or three as soon as he stepped out of the airport.

I could carry my groceries in the bags under his eyes. He just waved off any of my attempts to get him some rest only showing mild interest when I spoke about my friendship with Tony Stark, absolutely disregarding the rest of the team sans Captain America and the billionaire himself.

I might as well have been in front of a trainwreck, watching it happen second by second. The moment all three of us stepped out of the elevator onto the tidied up common floor, I had the sudden realization of exactly how much we weren't a family.

We were the exact opposite of that.

My mother, tall and slim and perfectly posed in a sleek blue dress with diamonds glittering around her chin, neck and fingers, her obnoxious greed proudly on display. My father, in his early fifties, well-groomed and fit, in his tight designer pants and a plain white t-shirt under a stylish tweed blazer. He looked ridiculous. Only Tony could pull off something like that (I shuddered. Sigmund Freud sends his regards!). And me, little old me, in my $900 jeans, $1500 Gucci sneakers and a mesh crop top I got at Hot Topic. At least, amidst this mess, my eyeliner game was on point.

I smiled sardonically at Steve who came to greet us. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Captain Rogers," My father greeted him with his Hollywood smile.

"Steve," An equally fake and toothy grin came from the superhero as he gallantly greeted my mother and swept me into an unnecessarily tight hug.

Point one, my father smirked. Somewhere in the corner, Wanda made a gagging noise - quietly, of course, I only knew about it because she did her telepathic mumbo-jumbo to make me aware of her stance on this particular matter.

Point two, my mother loudly announced she was vegetarian while simultaneously praising the catering services that Tony used. Clint had enlisted Bucky and Thor to help him cook and now all three were smiling awkwardly as mother spoke about the "incredibly talented immigrant workers".

Point three, dad made it his JOB to brag about my skills and achievements as if he was the one encouraging me to pursue them. It was fair, I suppose, since he paid for it but alas, it sounded a lot less like he was a proud father and more of a "look at what my puppy can do". I had to tip my proverbial hat to Tony and Bruce there, they both began to describe our lab work in such unnecessary detail, using so many long words, even Loki began quietly chipping in with totally random, long, difficult words. Confusion was beginning to seep through the eternally cheerful facade that my dad wore.

Or maybe it was the coke and Adderall wearing off. Who knew.

"Peter?" Came the dreaded question from my mother. I shook my head in quiet despair as Peter visibly cringed at my mother's voice.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"That vile boy has been taken care of," I could absolutely see Natasha saying the same thing and the only difference laid in the fact that I knew my mother wouldn't actually kill a person. She would hire someone to do it for her. "It's really unfortunate my daughter got in the middle of that sort of situation."

Wow. My mother just called Peter a coward. Wow. Tony briefly went cross-eyed with anger.

"Baby, why you bein' so quiet?" Dad, the mitigator that he was, intervened before a real shit storm could start. Which meant, as usual, putting me on the spotlight. It was me between a rock and a hard place: nothing, and I repeat - nothing I ever did or have done was good enough for both of my parents at the same time.

"I'm fine, dad, just chillin'," I replied, pushing my food around on my plate. He hated it when I ate too much, which was really anything more than two glasses of water and a salad. Being around models on a strict avocado and coke diet really skewed his sense of normal.

"Nah, baby, you're brooding," His teasing tone could've fooled anybody. Just messing around with a teenager. "Come with me tonight, there's a party, Billie Eilish is going to be singing. Not my style but you like that weird goth shit, might cheer you up a lil'," Dad joked and everybody around the table smiled happily at last. Everyone except Tony that was - his press-tour smile was still glued to his face. I hated it. It was unnatural.

"No, dad, you go have your old people fun," I rolled my eyes.

"Jesus Christ," I heard mother mutter on my other side but she kept quiet beyond that.

"C'mon, don't be a spoilsport," Dad insisted.

"Actually, we have a project planned up in the lab..." Tony trailed off, attracting confused looks from his teammates and friends. Pete looked at me in pure envy.

"Alright, alright, dad, I'll go with you, jeez," I mumbled, flushing from the sheer amount of embarrassment flowing through me. Partying with your own father, how sad and pitiful is that?

"I'm very upset at you ditching me," Tony poked a fork in my direction but didn't press the matter further. I avoided the looks of my friend's friends. I avoided the hell out of Bruce who kept making his perfect, round puppy eyes and radiating so much kindness and support I nearly choked on my intermittent sips of water.

"Alright, we will be waiting downstairs with Josh, say your goodbyes," Mother announced as she subtly towed my father towards the elevator. He'd had a whiskey too much and felt particularly chatty much to Tony's displeasure. "Thank you again for your hospitality."

As soon as the doors closed behind my parents, the group of superheroes erupted into a confused debate. I saw Tony blankly staring at the ceiling. Bucky cursing. Thor overly calmly talking with Loki.

Beyond caring about anything, my face flamed as I made a beeline for my dad's latest, untouched glass of whiskey (single malt, neat, double) and downed it in one go. The conversation stopped promptly, people eyeing me with visible concern. Steve was outraged.

"No," I announced, stopping any and all questions, slamming the glass on the table and departing towards the elevator that had made its way back upstairs. "Just no." Were my parting words as the doors closed once again on a startled and disgruntled group of superheroes.

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[ariadnew]

‘WITHOUT FAIL’ TAG GAME

I was tagged by @itssimplythesims​, who is, by now, no doubt groaning that I’m answering all her tags at once.

List five things that you, without fail, weave into or explore in your stories, whether it be specific themes or tropes, character archetypes, allusions to other literary works.

I found this a little tricky, because to be honest, I’ve written little fiction other than the same story for the last (cringe with me) eight years, so I’ve had to question whether it’s a thing I do because of me or a thing I’ve done specifically for the story. Either way- here, Christina; I promise I don’t ignore the tags! I’m just a scatterbrain on the internet.

Perception vs. Reality.

I once attended a lecture about history bias and I’ve long since been fascinated by the idea (and frankly, reality) that is a group of people being able to give an account or an opinion- be it about an event or a person- and rare it is that those accounts align completely. So often the difference between hero and villain is little more than opinion. I like challenging people with this concept- giving them facts from different characters/perspectives; making them look at this conflicting evidence and making them decide for themselves who is good, who is bad, how this happened, what is true. ... I also like never actually clarifying those points after they’ve chosen. (can you blame me? It’s such good fun!)

Unnecessary Lyricism and Dissonant Poetry

Except that there is never a time, sir, at which poetry does not matter. - I don’t know. I like to write lavishly. I like to play with words and trigger senses. To make the bleak beautiful and the beautiful horrendous. To put jewels on the page. It’s nice. It’s fun. Just let me have my words, okay? I’m not asking much.

The Brutality of Reality

To me, the most heart-rending passages are not often those of high drama or extenuating circumstances, or unexpected tragedy. It’s the tragedy you see coming, slowly, from afar. You read, knowing it’s there, it could happen, but you have this naive hope all the while that because this is a story, because this character is lovable or important or whatever, that they’ll be healthy, they’ll achieve their goal, they’ll get to be with the love of their life; everything will be alright in the end. But sometimes, dreams cannot be realised, someone doesn’t change before it’s too late. The inescapable is not escaped. In the real world, not everything will be alright in the end, and characters shouldn’t get a free pass just because they’re fiction.

Patterns in Rhythm/Flow Based on Tone, and Patterns in Prose

Not something I “weave in” as much as something I do without realising until reading back. I’ll say nothing further- I can’t have you noticing it every time you read something I write. It’ll shatter the [already flimsy] illusion.

A Bit Too Much Of Me

Be it my sense of humour, an observation that struck me, things I don’t understand, a regret, a dream, something I’ve done or faced that I wonder about; how it would be if it had all fallen down differently. I guess we all do that, don’t we? The portrait more a reflection of the artist than the subject. But I mustn’t be telling you this- you’ll read and begin thinking things I dare not want you to think. (how’s that for a deliciously vague answer?)

Tagging: Whoever- if you want to do this, please do! I don’t know many active writers on Tumblr and want to put anyone on the spot.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Recovering what was once lost (Platonic)

hey, can i ask for a josie x reader where reader had a fight with jed and josie takes care of him? B

AN/ Hope you like it :)

“Hope!” Josie yelled as she stormed into her friend’s room; Hope looked at the girl in worry. Josie would’ve normally knocked; she would’ve then waited for a reply only to then open the door. However, from the look on her face to her tone, Hope could tell this was an emergency.

“It’s Y/N.” If this was any other situation, she’d be more hesitant with bringing up your name and the current situation you were in. The state you were in. As said before, however, this as an emergency. So, dire situations and the measures to overcome those situations and all that.

It was had had led her here, visiting your twin (not by blood; but it wasn’t like either cared) to ask her for help as a last resort. Although, if she was honest, she had no other options.

“Where is he? What happened?” She asked, almost diving off the bed as she asked the question. Worry coated her gaze, her mind not exactly helping her guilt complex; the thoughts darkening by the second as the blame she placed on herself building more and more and more –

“Hope, hey…” Josie had softened her voice as she grabbed her friend’s hand in hers; despite the crush she used to have on her, it had turned into a sisterly bond in the end, “He needs you right now. He won’t make it without your blood.” She reminded Hope of the stakes. Or, thought she was.

If anything, she only increased them.

“Why does he need my blood?” Hope’s voice shook more as she finally processed Josie’s words, “Josie, what the hell happened?” She asked, tears starting to pool at her eyes.

She could lose one of the only remaining family members she had left. She gulped at the thought of that playing out; of her being the only Mikaelson in the school.

“He’s in my room, he’s resting. I had to pretty much drag him out of there, Hope. You know how some people are here.” Hope nodded, knowing that tragic truth; that some people just wanted to pretend that there weren’t issues here.

Granted, Hope could see the appeal to that, to get away from your chaotic life in the normal world and enter this school this a get-a-way. Sadly, with the way their lives had gone, that wouldn’t come to pass.

“Take me to him.” She asked of her friend; Josie easily complied with that want.

 You were sweating, and clearly in pain. You tried not to show it, but you failed ultimately in that part. She ran to your side, biting into her wrist and shoving into your mouth without a second thought, “Come on, Y/N, drink. You need to.” Your sister begged you, you did as she asked.

She let out a sigh of relief as you stopped, laying back to take a breath; Hope looked to Josie, “He’ll be fine.” She assured her friend; Josie nodded, but fiddled with her fingers a little.

It took Hope a moment to understand her friend’s anxious behaviour around you. But she soon remembered, the way you both seemed to just drift from one another. While Hope and her hand resurrected their friendship; yourself and Josie weren’t quite there yet.

“It’s ok, I have somewhere to be anyway.” Hope said as she started to leave the room. That, however, made Josie’s eyes widen.

“Wait, wait, wait.” She called out to Hope; the girl turned around, “What…what if –”

“Josie,” Hope said, stopping her friend’s rambling as she grabbed her hands in her own and gave them a squeeze, “I have to pay Jed a visit; you can get your dad involved, I won’t hold it against you. But I think he’d get the point better.”

“And that point is…?”

“That he’s an idiot for going after Jed on his own.” With that, Hope walked away, again. This time, however, Josie let her friend go.

She looked back at your door, where you awaited some help with recovery. Someone to talk to you to distract you from your pain and help you sort this thing out (Hope, being the older twin, had instructed the super squad to keep an ear out for you and let her know when any issues arose); but, the one who was best at that was now leading the charge against the man who had hurt you.

Lizzie was busy with her own demons, MG was too sweet for this, Kaleb was warming up to you, Rafael she wasn’t sure what his reaction would be.

That left her…. Just her luck.

It wasn’t that you weren’t friends, as that was further from the truth; you were friends, but as said before, you had fallen apart from each other.

Then Josie remembered Hope’s look and words, maybe this would be good for the two of you.

So, with a breath, she entered the room. She was at least going to try and salvage your friendship and keep you alive as best she could.

 Hope Mikaelson had been angry before, both pre-and post- hollow. But, this, this was something else. This rage involved her family, adopted or otherwise. You were her younger brother; nothing, nothing changed that.

So, when she saw Jed, without even thinking she punched him. The alpha stumbled backwards, holding his now bloody mouth.

He turned back to Hope, but she was ready for it escalate. No spells, she’d do this the old fashion way.

No one fucked with her family.

 You were one of the quiet students; despite your name, you didn’t use it in anyway. Despite being in a supernatural school, you wanted to be semi-normal; being a student was your best bet at that. So far, you had been apart from a few stares and whispers about you as you went through the halls.

You weren’t some special tribrid like your sister; no, you were just a simple vampire who happened to be adopted by the most powerful family in vampire and a lot of supernatural lore. Meaning you got held up to see if you actually fit that name.

Jed was one of those people. He was an asshole since like day one. But he seemed to have a thing for getting under your skin; whether it be mentioning your sister or your now deceased father and uncle.

“Look who it I,” The arrogant shit said as he shadowed you down the hallway, his regular band of kissasses following just behind him.

You knew there a hierarchy to this whole wolf thing; you got it and made your peace with it, but you still rolled your eyes at it. They followed him fucking everywhere. At least Raphael was somewhat different in that he stood up for himself and stated his own wants and needs.

“Pretty ironic if you’re going to call me a freak like always, we live in a school where we’d all be called that by the people out there.” You pointed at the door to get your point across.

“Still, surprised you aren’t hiding behind your sister, seems that you practically live in her shadow after all.” Those words seemed to flip something within you. Jed noticed, his eyes having a sort of shine to them at the thought of a fight.

“You leave her out of this.” You growled, but the man only laughed.

 “Hey.” You said softly as Josie came back in the room, you had become more aware of where you were. You knew you’d now make it, but the pain was still there; you were still too tired to do almost anything.

“Hey,” She said back, before clearing her throat at the awkward pause in the room, “Are you feeling any better?” She cringed a little at the words as they left her mouth, knowing the answer.

“Bit better, thanks for asking. But, uh, not my best.” You admitted fully; Josie nodded as she held up a blood bag for you. Your veins darkened instantly as you saw it, throat begging for the blood.

“We’ll have to do this slow,” She advised as she opened the bag and walked towards you, “Don’t want you to lose control.”

“Oh, like I don’t remember what I almost did last time.” She held eyes holding both pity and guilt as she too remembered back to what had almost happened the last time you had almost lost control.

If it hadn’t been for her, Lizzie and Hope, you may have been dead by now. It was a memory they’d rather forget.

Losing your father and uncle made Hope pull away from her friends at the school; the incident just mentioned, though, was what made you pull away from (almost) everyone.

“Easy, easy.” She whispered as you drank a little too fast and greedily; at her words, you took a moment to breath and stopped.

“You don’t have to do this, you know? I can take care of it from here.” You told her, both of you seemingly having the awkwardness of your dynamic at the forefront of the conversation; you did appreciate it, she could tell that. But you both just didn’t really know how to interact with each other.

“Hope’s gone to see Jed,” You let out a groan of frustration as you leaned back and hit your head against the pillow, “She wouldn’t of done it if she didn’t have a reason.” She said in a voice that rose in volume a little to get the point across.

“…Fuck.” You muttered as you drank the blood at a slower pace; but now the mood had shifted into one of guilt from both parties.

 “Really, Mikaelson? You just going to stand there and not attack me? Not continue the assault?” Jed asked as he put his hand to his bloody nose.

“You hurt my brother, I hurt you.” She barked at him; doing everything she could to keep herself from making the first move.

“Oh, the kid started it.” He snapped back at her.

“By doing what? Walking around?” She guessed, anger in herself rising.

“Pretty much.” He admitted; Hope scoffed; how low could he possibly stoop?

 “Anything else?” You asked as Josie had twisted the rag again; she sighed as she did so. You both hadn’t really spoken since you had the conversation before.

“I don’t know, nothing else without me bringing my dad in.” She admitted.

“That won’t end well.” You said, in a dry tone; but Josie smiled a little at your humour.

 You were pretty decent at fighting; but right now, you weren’t. Right now, you had been kicked down to the floor, getting your assed absolutely kicked.

Every kick hurt, your back felt like it would snap, your lungs burned, your face was bleeding.

That was when you felt the teeth sink into your leg.

“HEY!” You heard Josie scream out as she held out her hand, the wolves all backed away from you and then ran. But, through your blurred vision, Jed gave you a warning look.

 “We’ve got a problem,” Hope said as she entered the room, with no blood or injuries, Josie noted, “Jed wants round two.”

Her words sparked some protective mode in Josie; sure, she hadn’t made the best amount of progress with your bond. However, it did make her remember how close you both used to be; about how you both would be protective of the other.

She’d found that fire once again.

 “Alright, we’re clear.” Hope said as she looked out at the hallway; when she said those words, Josie had your arm looped around her shoulder as she shouldered your weight and carried you across the hallway to a new room.

Now that Jed was trying to track you down, the two had the idea to get you from A to B; one room to another all-in order to keep you safe.

You were better, but not a 100% just yet. You were still weak, and probably wouldn’t survive another encounter.

“Are you ok?” You asked Hope as she led you, but kept her eyes search the area like a hawk; looking for any threat that she would need to protect you both from.

“It didn’t come to blows, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She assured you but kept her tone flat. You knew what she was going, trying to hide her feelings of worry and paranoia. You once tried that too, but it was Hope that had broken you out of that.

Now, everyone else was doing that for her. You were included in that list, obviously; but the time when you lost control damaged those odds further. All your dynamics were a little fragile at this moment. But, all three knew that things were starting to go back to some sort of normal. Some sort of equal footing.

“Come on, come on, keep going.” Josie said as you slipped a little, but she picked you back up and you continued on your way.

“I got you, I got you.” She said in a quiet voice that (if Hope hadn’t had her hearing) only you’d hear. It was soft and encouraging. It was how your friendship was; soft and nice…it was safe.

 “Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, come on. Y/N! Hey, come one, wake up.” Josie said in a panic as she tapped her hand on your face, but you did nothing but stir and groan.

She furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, before she looked down at your leg. Her eyes widened as she pulled up your leg, seeing the bite.

“No, no, no, no.” She said in more panic as she looked back at your face as you slowly started to drift off, “Y/N, come on! Stay with me. Hey!”

You tried; you really did. You tried your hardest, but you were just too weak at this moment. You were drifting in and out; coming back to see a door, then a bed.

Josie got you into the bed, then looked at you as you struggled. She was almost having a panic attack at this point; she was tearful as she watched you groan in pain and struggle to breath.

“Hope.” She said in remembrance and left to find your sister.

 “Locked, damn it.” Hope said as she pulled and pulled on the door. She looked back at you two, knowing that you both wouldn’t be great in a fight right now.

“Look who it is.” They didn’t have time to think about it, as Jed had shown up one more time with his friends at his back.

Hope had moved from behind you to in front of you.

“You’re not touching them, Jed.” She said, firmly.

You, however, pushed past her and stood in front of them, “I do this, you leave them alone.” You bargained with him, seeing no other way out.

“I’m not just leaving you –” Hope started to say.

“Yes, you will. This is my fight, Hope. Not yours.” You said to her, just tired at this point and wanting this to be over.

“No,” She said as she planted herself firmly beside you, “I’m not leaving you; I’m not letting you push me away, not again. I’m not letting you push us away, again.” She said, you looked at your sister, seeing the conviction in her eyes.

“…Ok.” You said, softly.

Hope turned to Josie, “Go get your dad, we’ll deal with this.” She said to her friend. The next moment, Josie was gone.

You both turned to Jed and his guys, sharing a look, “You ready, little brother?” She asked you.

“Ready.” You told her.

 Josie was running, heart racing as she did so. She ran, ran as fast as she could do. AS she turned the corner, she bumped into her own twin.

“Josie, what’s going on?” Lizzie asked her as she held her twin’s arms.

“It’s Hope and Y/N, we need to find Dad.” She said in almost one breath. Lizzie, however, caught onto the words. Despite how she was, she did appreciate you and Hope; you were her friends, she couldn’t deny that now.

“Ok, ok.” She said, taking her twin’s hand and dragging her to their father’s office. The man had been away lately on a recruiting mission, but he was back now. So, the two knew he’d be able to help you both in your efforts.

The two bursts through Alaric’s office door, startling the man himself. He jumped as they entered; but, instead of reprimanding them, he saw the fear and concern on their faces.

“Girls, what’s going on?” He asked, his own worry growing.

“Hope and Y/N need your help.” That was all he needed to know.

 Hope was at maximum efficiency, and then some. It was anger she had been storing for pretty much all day that was finally coming out when she threw a punch or muttered a spell to throw a wolf away. She wouldn’t kill them, obviously. But, as she had been told in therapy, letting out that anger every now and then was good for her.

Granted, Emma probably didn’t mean it in this way; but, as of right now, it was the only way.

She turned to you, to see you be punched and hit the floor, but you carried yourself and vamp-speeded him into a wall.

 “Stop!” The two of you did so, instantly; panting heavily as you both regrouped. The wolves still wanted a fight, but one look from Alaric had them reconsidering that fact.

They scattered, leaving two tired siblings and three concerned friends of those kids.

“Are you two oks?” He asked as he put a hand on both of your shoulders.

You shared a look, “Better with her help.” She smiled at your words and nudged you lightly.

 It was later, nighttime. You were laying on your bed staring at the ceiling, this time, though, with no pain in your shoulder. You just had silence, and your thoughts for you.

A knock at your door made you look up; Josie was there looking in and checking to see if you were still awake. When you sat up, she came into the room.

She silently moved to your bed, laying herself next to you, “Hi.” She whispered, both of you facing the other as you laid on your side.

“Hey.” You echoed the greeting back to her.

“Are you ok?” She asked; you let out a sigh at her question.

“Better now.” You said, she smiled lightly.

“Good, I’m glad.” She meant the words.

“Thank you,” You said, “Thank you for having my back.”

“Of course, we’re friends. Friends have each other’s back.” She meant those words too.

You believed them now.

[simsadventures]

Only Mine: Chapter 4: The Encounter Part I

Summary: You try to forget all about the night and the dinner you had with Bucky, but some people just won’t let you.

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of rape (trying not to be too explicit), angst, mobster AU

Word Count: 2244

A/N: Remember, you wanted it @sebbbystaaan​ and @kneel-begyourpardon​. Don’t stone me for this little cliffhanger. Part II of The Encounter will come out tomorrow. Let me know what you thought xx

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The next couple of days were a blur for Bucky. He couldn’t figure out how anyone would be so cold towards him, especially a woman. He tried to think back to the night the two of you spent together, that maybe he did something wrong, or that he maybe not performed the way he usually does. But he shook this thought off, remembering how your thighs quivered and how your whole body shook. This couldn’t be the reason then.

All the women always loved when he acted like an alpha around them, so he didn’t understand what your problem was with things like him ordering food for you. A weird thought appeared in front of his eyes. Maybe you really weren’t anything like the women he was used to, and that he genuinely had no idea how to treat a woman, but he dismissed this as well. Pff, he was Bucky Barnes, every woman would fall to their knees to just spend a night with him.

He was standing in his room, staring out the window at his backyard. He could see three gardeners trying to create something beautiful of the mess the grass and trees were at the moment, and he loved to see them work. It brought peace to his weary mind. But somebody disturbed the peace by knocking on his door.

“Yeah,” he rumbled but didn’t make any effort of looking who it was. He had the nagging feeling that it was either Steve, or Sam, or both, and he didn’t need to see their faces. He could get all the emotions just from their voices, especially when the three of them were together, his right hands always told him everything just like they felt it.

“Staring into the distance, thinking of your one try love, mate?” Sam asked, humour laced in his voice. He could hear Steve snicker behind him and Bucky just rolled his eyes at their childish behaviour.

“You wanted something particular, or did you come in to tease me?” Bucky growled, his eyes now closed, with his fingers massaging the root of his nose. They’ve been there for a few seconds, and they were already giving him a headache.

“Teasing? You think this is teasing? Teasing would be if we came back to the scene at the restaurant. Man! The way she sassed you and how you stay quiet, that was hilarious! We were a little worried that you bit your tongue. This, this would be teasing, old pal.” Steve was smirking at Bucky, who was now intently staring at the two of them, wishing they would turn into dust.

“Haha, so funny! You done, assholes? I do have better things to do than to listen to the two of you.”

“Like? Staring out the window like you’re the cover of a sad-boy’s album?” This time, Sam and Steve actually high-fived, and all Bucky could do was to sigh. He might have been the boss outside the room, but here, in his personal quarter, they were just three old friends, teasing the hell out of each other. Bucky just hated that it was now his turn to be in the burning seat.

“Give me a break, ok? I just never met a woman like her, that’s all. But she made it very clear that she wasn’t interested and I’m not gonna hunt her down. I’ve got better things to do than to think about some sassy-big-mouthed girl. Any word on Pierce?”

Both of the men in front of Bucky shook their heads. “Nope, nothing. Apparently, he is still very much on the West Coast, and if he likes his own life, he’s gonna stay there. Don’t worry about him, we’re gonna make sure he stays where he should. Speaking of shoulds,” Sam said, and looked at Steve, importantly.

“Right, we should get on the streets today. There are some bastards roaming the city, raping young women. We should make a purge and show them what happens to guys like them. I spoke to the Commissioner of the NYPD, and he said that their forces could help us, we just gotta call them. He told me, that they almost had the guys, but that they weren’t scared of the cops one bit, and the Commissioner thinks they would be scared of us. He also gave us full permission to do whatever we think is necessary. He just wants them out of the city.”

Bucky nodded and clenched his jaw. He hated men like that. He might have been a jerk, but all his women went with him willingly, or, at least, he wouldn’t push himself on them sexually. He also hated the fact that some asshole thought it was a good idea to start that shit in his city.

“Call the Commissioner, and tell him that the patrols that would see anything suspicious should call us directly and that we’ll handle it. Let’s hope it’ll be enough, and that it will be over with quickly. Do we know anything about them?”

Sam was thinking for a while, as was Steve. When they felt like they thought of everything that could be important, they switched between the two of them and told it all to Bucky.

“There are two of them, apparently taking turns at the girls.”

“They sometimes take two girls, one for each. Most of the time, they, however, take one girl, and when they’re done with her, they look for another one, so they have at least two girls a night.”

“Which tells us they must be on the younger side of the spectrum, having the stamina for two rounds, pretty quickly after each other.”

“They use condoms, so the hype is not in breeding the women, but maybe over-powering them? They apparently don’t have a type, their victims vary from the colour of their skin to their height.”

“But, we do know that their favourite part of New York is Brooklyn, only one of the 10 rapes they managed to do happened outside of Brooklyn, so we should be stationed somewhere around there.”

Bucky listened intently, making mental notes and preparing a plan for the night, or several nights ahead of them. For a second, his mind wandered towards you, if you were fine, and if you would be fine, but he quickly dismissed the thought and concentrated on the task at hand. They had an eventful night ahead of them.

—-

Getting Bucky out of your head was easier than you thought. Mostly because you were buried in your work, deadlines licking your heels and you knew you’d catch absolute hell if you didn’t finish in time.

What also helped was that you couldn’t meet him anywhere. Because the two of you lived such different lives, you were almost a hundred per cent sure there wasn’t a possibility of the two of you randomly meeting again. Once was enough and you didn’t need him threatening you go on another date with him. You inwardly rolled your eyes at yourself, reminding you that it wasn’t a date and that you definitely didn’t want it to be one.

Bucky was a mobster, and you definitely didn’t have his icy eyes in front of you when you were falling asleep. Not. At. All. But, to tell the truth, that was the only time you actually thought of him, otherwise being pretty busy.

Natasha loved every detail of that night, and you thought she would soon start writing down quotes from the date. She was obsessed with someone putting Bucky in his place, even more so that it was her best friend who did that, and she had first-hand details of the encounter.

You were sitting at the publishing house, with 5 other people, all of you catching up with your work. Among others, a new secretary of the editorial director. She looked like a sweet girl, even if you thought she was a little too dolled-up for pretty much an all-nighter at a publishing house, with a bunch of uninterested people. Your director was gay, so there was no chance she would be able to get to him, and other than that, it was you, Kate, and Bruce, who was currently single, but too shy to even look Tania’s way.

You and Kate were discussing the best approach to one of the Young Adult books you were currently trying to edit so that it could be sold in the shortest amount of time. You felt a light tap on your shoulder, and when you turned, you could see Tania sitting on your desk. You cringed inwardly, really hating when people invaded your personal space but tried to remain calm and collected. It was still a long night ahead of you.

“I thought I knew you from somewhere, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. You were out on Friday night, weren’t you?” She asked sweetly, but the smile on her face didn’t reach her eyes.

You smiled politely and nodded. Not that it was any of her business anyway. “Well if you saw me, then I must have been out, right?” You started to turn back to Kate, who was obviously trying not to laugh but failing miserably. Tania’s hand stopped you.

“So you’re the girl of the month, then? Huh, would never guess his demands got so low but good for you. The best month of your life awaits you until he decides that you’re old news and kicks you out like a stray dog.”

There was so much venom in her voice that you were surprised she didn’t poison you spitting at you.

“Sounds like you have the first-hand experience with that, sweetheart!” You smiled oh-so-sweetly at her, and she was now sending daggers through her eyes. “Look, Tania, I don’t know what you think you saw, but it was just one dinner, and I’m definitely the girl of no month. I bet Bucky is a great guy for the month, but I’m seriously not interested. So you can stop keeping me away from my job, and maybe start doing yours and bring us all coffee?”

You were a bitch, and you knew it, but you just couldn’t help yourself. You hated when people were nosey and would ask you unnecessary questions about your personal life. It was called personal for a reason.

She scoffed, but got up from your table (not before she “accidentally” pushed some of the papers from the table on the floor) and asked everyone around if anyone else wanted some hot beverage. Everyone hummed in agreement, but never stopped with their works.

Kate showed you thumbs up excitedly but otherwise dropped the case, knowing you two could gossip about what just happened after the deadlines were closed and your asses weren’t catching on fire.

It was around 2 AM that you could finally send out all the files you were supposed to, and despite your exhaustion, you couldn’t help but feel happy and relieved. Tania went home around 11 PM telling you all that she wasn’t cut out for such things, and that she better go home to be fresh and pretty the next morning. You collectively rolled your eyes at her but left it without a comment, feeling like she wouldn’t get the sarcastic comments that were on the tip of your tongue.

You said your goodbyes with Kate, and both walked in different directions. You would typically put in your headphones and zone out, but you were aware that it was quite late, and that even if New York acted as the safe city because of Bucky and his crew, you heard about few rapes around Brooklyn and you didn’t want to take a chance.

So you casually walked down the pavement, thinking about how you didn’t want to get up the next morning, knowing it would be a massive pain in the ass. Your mind also wandered towards your breakfast, trying to imagine the contents of your fridge to think of what you were gonna make the next morning.

As you were deciding between scrambled eggs and pancakes, somebody behind you whistled. You paid no mind to it, thinking that it definitely wasn’t at you. But when the whistling came from much closer behind you, followed by a low “pussycat”. You could hear a chuckle, which sounded like coming from a different man, and a cold sweat burst on your forehead, while a shiver ran down your spine.

You quickened your pace, hearing that they did the same, and you suddenly felt the rush of adrenaline in your blood. You didn’t want to die, or be used like that, and tried to think of anything that would get you out of the situation. You got to run. You knew you wouldn’t be able to fight them, especially if there were two of them, but you weren’t willing to take a look and lose time with it. But even without turning, you could hear them getting closer every second, and when you could feel a hand on your shoulder, harshly grabbing you, you did the only thing that was left. You let out a loud shriek, which was quickly muffled by a hand over your mouth. Your eyes watered instantly, you were trashing in the attacker’s arms, trying to get free, but he wouldn’t budge. You never thought you would end up here, and with this thought, your mind grew hazy, and your body went limp.

/ Next Chapter > 

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[buddha-in-disguise]

I'm not going to review the season finale in quite the same way as I've usually written something afterwards. I'm ultra tired due to distinct lack of sleep. So it is more truncated than I'd intended. Also unedited so advance apologies if something makes no sense or is misspelled etc.

The episode was facing the challenge of not only being edited after COVID-19 shut down production, but what was intended to be the penultimate episode became the finale. So I'm trying to take that into consideration.

First part in Kara's loft. It was choppy. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing against the humour, or the scenes in general. Although they missed the glaring opportunity to place a "flew here on a bus," moment! It felt pretty disappointing they didn't recognise what has become an iconic line within the SG fandom, and made it even more iconic.

Before the bus though, back at the loft, considering that Lena had literally only just arrived at Kara's, with all that entails, it felt completely out of place for that context. Did it have been overwhelming heavy at that point? Absolutely not. But it was too close to slapstick at times for me and internally I was cringing. I admit, I'm not sure where they could've put it in, but perhaps if they'd just lowered it a fraction, made it a little more subtle a couple of times, it would've helped for me.

Some of the dialogue (especially early on) was also all over the place for me. It did get better as the episode wore on, but I wonder how much was the need to redo parts of the episode because of COVID-19? Unless they think to put an episode as intended in a future season DVD (perhaps S6 DVD), or someone gives us full details via an interview we will probably never know.

Which brought me to one piece of dialogue that I wish they'd not put in at all!

In 5.18, as I've spoken about a lot on Twitter especially, the way Lex screams into Lena's face, and Lena's flinch, and how that had been me 20 odd years ago. They then had the line as Lena talks to Kara; "Go ahead. Scream at me if you have to, I know I deserve it."

I know for many, they'd just see it as a line to use, but .... for many of us who have suffered abuse, who recognised (& in some instances were triggered) by last weeks episode, to not have acknowledged why that line was so problematic is worrying. It heavily suggests they're not going to address Lena's trauma and abuse because they really don't understand it (& again, if anyone believes she didn't suffer trauma and abuse, but accept others in SG do, go away with your bias from my page), but considering they haven't addressed much of Kara's trauma, particularly watching Argo destroyed again, being stuck for months during Crisis like they were, etc - then I guess it isn't a surprise.

But it is uncomfortable as hell to watch a line like that glossed over.

Overall though, I did enjoy the episode. Once that 1st half was over, especially (baring a few moments, including watching Alex do her badass Mission Impossible meet Cirque du Soleil moment because that was awesome) it felt much more like SG of previous seasons. So that was great.

Watching Lena as she watched Alex and Kara hug behind her was so emotional. Watching siblings love unconditionally. Something she thought she had with Lex, only to realise he hadn't changed at all. Lena didn't need to say anything, as once again Katie's acting brought all the emotion Lena was feeling to the fore.

Having Lena and Alex mirror they choice of words in regards Kara was pretty iconic. Then having Alex whisper, "Jinx." really made it work.

Seeing Dreamer in her element, including some great lines again. "I can't believe you left to fight Earth, Wind & Fire without us." "Guess they didn't take the bait? Maybe you should've been meaner?" As they begin the fight with J'onn, M'gann Alex and Dreamer - Alex to Dreamer: "You ready?" Dreamer. "Nope." Alex. "Me neither." Dreamer at her best imo.

Kelly going all, damn my girlfriend is hot & I want sex right now despite the circumstances was pretty cute and funny.

The Kara and Lena monologues being in unison. Now that was pretty amazing and one of the best parts of the whole episode imo.. But again, you feel as if they're matching Lena and Kara together with those scenes as a couple.

Lena not only protecting Kara, but stopped Andrea from going down a dark path as Acrata. Was also great.

Last frame of Lillian. Does it turn out she is the head of Leviathan? Because again they laid out more than once the leader was a woman. It has been noted several times now in different episodes. I was hoping Lena's biological mother, considering she knew of the legend of Acrata, but it is now looking more likely this reincarnation of Lillian is who it is, unless it is a character we've not been introduced to, but I highly doubt that.

The 2nd half of the episode was what we missed so much this season. In fact aspects throughout the episode were missing for too much this season.

This includes the women being the focal point of it. Brainy though absolutely rightly taking a strong subplot to what else was going on. J'onn ably supported by M'gann. M'gann who managed to advise Nia on embracing her dreams and not trying to avoid part of them. Dansen actually working together and both being badass in their own way (after all, this is something I've advocated for much of the season, & while fantastic to see, it never should've taken this long. Now where have we heard that before?)

But we still have glaring unanswered questions that I can't imagine would've been answered in 5.20.

Every indication since 5.17 is Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl. Yet we don't know for certain, because they've failed to show us how or when. I've said before, considering every other person who knows Kara is Supergirl, we had them tripping over themselves to explain to the audience how it happened. I'm pretty annoyed that we as the audience don't get given the same courtesy with Kelly. This is why so many of us feel short changed on some characters this season. The really aggravating thing is would only take a few lines to clear it up!

Now onto Alex. This ties in with J'onn. Where are they getting the money to survive? Did J'onn manage to accumulate enough over all the years he was on Earth to finance everything & pay Alex a wage? No clue.

Also, are Kelly & Alex living together? Or do they have keys to each others apartments? Yes, Kelly was at Alex's in 5.17 so the answer is pretty much yes, but nothing has been said! We knew more about Brainy & Nia's living arrangements from 5a than we do Kelly & Alex.

Kara's trauma. Lena's abuse & trauma. See above.

Lastly, the one most I know want (except a few vocally against), leaning towards Supercorp becoming canon. Again for another season, we end up with the, 'Maybe they'll do it next season.' being said. Particularly as in 5a they really went all out on Supercorp parallels to Clois and at times Dansen, plus even a little on Brainia. But unless something pretty fundamental changes behind the scenes, they're going to recognise what their biggest draw is, keep baiting but never fully go into it. And that is what I fear the most. When you've got media, even non-Supergirl fans saying it, but the show refusing to acknowledge it - that could be their legacy, and it will not look good or have a lot of fans look back kindly on them for it.

The 4 seasons it took for Lena to find out Kara was Supergirl was, in the end, terribly executed. This waxing and waning as well of; is Lena good or bad? Will she follow in the Luthor footsteps?

She is flawed. She's made some pretty awful mistakes. But now they're said she is good. She isn't evil or a villain. So now that line they've drawn needs to stay there! No more ambiguity on her character being a villain.

But you know what's not good? Feeling you can't trust the show to draw a line under that aspect of the character. That doesn't mean you have to have any one of them not be flawed, or to even cross some lines (they've all done it at some point, some moreso than others, but not one character is innocent).

When the show is now generating that level of mistrust on how they could handle future events, that is a problem.

Season 5 overall (particularly 5b) was absolutely horrendously bad. It had some moments of sheer brilliance (either individual scenes, or some episodes), but the rest was just flat out awful. Irrelevant. Messy. No cohesion. 5b became too much of the Lex Luthor show. Certain character additions were vastly unpopular and definitely caused down turns in viewer numbers (& again, from far more than a section of fandom). As did keeping Lena away from everyone for so long.

To sum up. Season 5 was a disaster.

Season 6 needs to have considerably different direction to even try & pull back some viewers (if they can at all). Distrust is rife.

The worst is no-one in the cast deserved this, especially as they're so talented. Some of the performances, even with how poor much of the season was, have been magnificent. But as the saying goes, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

I've never been so relieved a season is finally over. We'll watch our favourite episodes for sure, of which there aren't many, but a full rewatch of the season we normally do will not be happening. Some episodes were better off consigned to the trash.

[harcourtholmesii]

Unintended Purpose (Part II)

Pairings: As Of Yet; Unknown

Warnings: - Swearing - Slavery (Whether Characters Realise It Or Not) - Mentions of Violence

Words: 2110

Enjoy!

The ride to breakfast was a strange one. ‘Connor’ had taken a seat in front, staring ahead and with back ramrod straight. Hank had been worried the thing had broken the moment they had entered the car, but he was relieved to see it turn its head as he switched on his music.

 In the backseat, Cole was excitedly asking about what working as a police officer was like, and even if the android was about to answer, Cole was quick to ask something else. Hank watched the android with some suspicion, a little frustrated that it had not even attempted to answer Cole’s questions or humour the kid even a little. He had to keep reminding himself that this was not your standard model. Fucking thing probably didn’t understand the concept of ‘small talk’.

 Hank pulled up to Chicken Feed, Cole dashing out of the car with a wave at ‘Connor’, barely waiting for Hank to stretch his legs. He turned, opening his mouth to order the android to stay behind, but decided against it when the damned thing didn’t even turn its head to acknowledge him. It reminded him of some pompous blue blood from the higher ranks in the force; some cock-sure asshole who ordered officers around from the safety of his desk.

 He met Cole by the food truck, lifting him up so that he might have a proper view of the menu. Gary was a close acquaintance, always willing to shirk some dollars off the bill in return for Hank not taking him in. Not that Hank would. The Chicken Feed truck served only the best burgers in Detroit, and he wasn’t going to let the police force take it away.

 With their food in greasy paper bags, Cole and Hank returned to the car. And to ‘Connor’. It confused Hank why, of all times, did the android wait until they had left to turn its head and acknowledge them. Warm, brown eyes peered at the bags in their hands, and for a moment, the LED blinked a bright yellow.

 As they took a seat in the car, ‘Connor’ finally spoke.

 ‘Lieutenant.’ Hank nearly jumped in his seat, glaring at the android beside him. How the fuck did he know about his rank? ‘I would not recommend eating what food you have purchased. The food has been prepared in an unsanitary environment, as the owner, Gary Keyes, has a criminal record of violating hygiene regulations.’

 Hank just stared.

 Cole just gaped.

 ‘The food may not be toxic to the human body, but the calories are twice the amount recommended for a man of your age, and may cause indigestion for Cole Anderson. I understand that you have a history of minor egg allergy, suggesting that you may have passed the condition onto your son. The condiment, mayonnaise, has egg as its base ingredient, and may cause illness if either of you should ingest it.’

 ‘Connor’ reached across and grabbed the paper bags from Hank’s hands, the man too stunned to say anything. The android returned them just as quickly, running leftover grease from the bags between his fingers and licking it from his synthetic skin. Hank felt a little sick.

 ‘It appears that Gary Keyes had been drinking before-hand. He has also left traces of blood in the grease from an open wound, presumably from a cut on his hands.’ The android’s mouth snapped shut, as it tilted its head to look at Hank, almost innocently. ‘Perhaps you should arrest Gary Keyes, as he is still operating the establishment without a license.’

 Silence.

 The android returned to peering straight ahead, Hank just completely astounded by what he had heard. Yes, he was familiar with the conditions the Chicken Feed worked with, but he never knew so much detail. In fact, he still didn’t understand how the Hell this fucking android knew half of what he did. He shouldn’t have access to those kind of files.

 Cole was suddenly pushing himself half into the front seat, babbling on at a hundred miles a minute.

 ‘How did you do that?! That was so cool! How did you know my dad works with the police?! Did you work with him?! Can you tell me about the criminals you busted?! Did you use a gun?! Can you do that again?! What do you know about me?! What do you know about Dad?!’

 ‘Cole!’

 Hank felt a little guilty when Cole shut his mouth, and slowly slipped back into the backseat. Hank would apologise later, but he just wanted to get the android’s attention and work out what the fuck had just happened.

 ‘Hey!’ No answer.

 ‘Connor!’ Those eyes turned onto him. They seemed so emotionless; cold. It unnerved Hank. He didn’t trust this thing. Not even a little bit, and normally Hank’s gut was pretty good to trust. ‘What the Hell did you just do?’

 ‘Are you referring to what I said, lieutenant?’

 ‘What else?’ The android tilted its head once more, seemingly confused by the response. ‘Yeah, what you said. What was that?’

 ‘I simply relayed to you the details of what I scanned of the premises and the staff. It is my duty as your assisting android to aid you in what ways I can; including preventing you from causing potential harm to yourself and your son, or potential endangerment of your career.’

 Hank couldn’t believe this. This fucking robot thought that a couple of burgers were practically poison and that ignoring this one man was going to get him fired from his job? That was rather insulting. Hank may no longer have been as popular or as young as he used to be; he had gotten a bit lazy as to who he would bother to bring in, but that didn’t mean he was about to get fired over something minor.

 ‘Do you scan everyone you see?’

 ‘Of course. If there is the potential that someone is a threat to you or your son, lieutenant, I must be ready to act. If I fail to search for threats and you are placed into danger, I will have failed my purpose, once again.’

 Hank had forgotten about that. If the thing was human, he wouldn’t have been surprised if failure scared it. A human failing once was not often the end of the world. Normally it meant something minor, such as answering a question on a test incorrectly, or mistaking how many steps in an apartment stairwell, causing them to trip. But for an android, failure often meant deactivation, and being torn down for parts.

 ‘Can you scan me?’ Cole asked, peering up at ‘Connor’.

 ‘I already have. If you wish me to relay to you what data I found; you are nursing a slight limp in your left leg. Still recovering from a minor shock and minding what pain is there. Perhaps you tripped. Your hands have traces of isopropyl alcohol, and minor stains to your fingernails would suggest you were using a colouring book, specifically, a paper-back book. Fine hairs on your clothes, primarily white, bare the DNA samples of a St Bernard, and from the wear on your trousers, one that is small and excitable. A puppy.’

 Holy shit.

 ‘I am correct?’ It sounded more like a statement than a question, but Hank nodded slowly all the same. Instead of bursting into another round of uncontrollable questions, Cole simply sat there, mouth agape as Hank pulled off the curb.

 The drive was a slow one, almost drawn out by the silence in the vehicle. Hank really wasn’t sure what to think. On the one hand, this android was far more advanced than the ones that worked at the precinct; able to gather such in-depth information with a single glance. It was beyond impressive, and Hank would have given most anything to have that power.

 On the other hand, he was pissed. The android hadn’t spoken a word since he introduced himself and then he was suddenly telling Hank that he was putting his son in danger?! Well, whilst it had not been specifically stated, it seemed implied. Could androids even imply things? Either way, Hank wasn’t sure how he felt about an android being able to ‘scan’ Cole or himself.

 When they finally pulled onto Michigan Drive and then up the driveway, Cole rushed out of the car and practically pulled Connor out with him. Silence broken, he started babbling like mad about how ‘mom’s gonna love you’. Hank doubted it.

 Entering into the house, Hank was thankful for the smell of crispy bacon and the sweeter scent of pancakes. He hurriedly tossed out the paper bags full of burgers, and let Cole run over to the kitchen to greet Renee. Cole practically dragged her out by the hem of her skirt, until she was facing Hank. And ‘Connor’.

 ‘H-Hank…’ Oh, fuck. He knew that tone. It was one of some disappointment. ‘W-What’s this?’ She crossed her arms, indignant at the sight of their new android. Before Hank could answer, ‘Connor’ had stepped forward.

 ‘Renee Anderson née Tuppens. I’m the RK800 android as made by CyberLife. Intended purpose; a failure. New purpose; home assistance. May my work be satisfactory to you.’

 One dark brow arched, red lips pursing as she all but glared at ‘Connor’. Her lips stretched to accommodate a strained smile as she gestured Cole to the kitchen table and then took a step forward, around ‘Connor’ and over to Hank.

 ‘It’s ‘intended purpose’? And what exactly was that?’ Hank should have known she would latch onto that. It was why he had hoped to speak first. Perhaps, knowing from him that the android was once a police detective, she would have considered it another layer of protection, or some shit. But then the idiot bucket of bolts had to open its mouth.

 ‘It… It was a police android.’

 ‘A police detective; a prototype for the new RK900 models due for release in December.’

 ‘Oh?’ Renee turned her angered gaze onto ‘Connor’, and Hank cringed for him. ‘And, how exactly did you fail your original purpose?’

 Hank, admittedly, was just as curious. But he didn’t want it to become another argument between himself and Renee. The last thing he wanted was for her to stress for Cole’s safety because the android had failed some multiple choice quiz.

 Both pairs of eyes on ‘Connor’ took notice of how the LED ring lit up almost immediately neon yellow, and then briefly flashed red. Hank knew that was never a good sign. He raised one hand to rest it on Renee’s arm as if to pull her behind him. Of course, she just shrugged it off, too pissed to care.

 Sumo, though excited to greet them at first, had slunk away, and was hiding beneath the kitchen table and Cole’s dangling feet. Cole was watching the confrontation, mouth half stuffed with pancakes looking between the three of them.

 ‘How did you fail your original programming?’ Hank asked, resting one hand over his jacket where his holster would have been.

 A moment of silence.

 ‘It was my first mission; I was supposed to capture a deviant android for questioning and eventual deactivation.’ Hank knew about deviants; very few people didn’t. Androids that ‘broke the bonds of their masters’, or just ‘completely snapped’. Most deviants turned violent, triggered by something that would be traumatic for a human, and sometimes killed their owners.

 ‘I found them. However, I made a mistake when I confronted them.’ Deviants were often unpredictable, and had the power to turn the tables of a confrontation or the ability to blend in once the LED was removed. Perhaps, an android that was not turned deviant would struggle to predict most courses of action, even one as advanced as ‘Connor’.

 ‘There had been a human officer that was injured in the crossfire. Though the deviants were incapacitated and eventually destroyed, it was determined that it was a miscalculation on my part.’ Hank didn’t like where this was going. Suddenly, Renee was clinging tightly to his arm, when before she had been so willing to ignore it.

 ‘I had shot him in the shoulder. He was in critical condition when they shut me down to be wiped of my programming.’

 ‘Oh my God.’

 ‘I do not know if I killed him. But I did cause him damage, and as an android, I was fortunate not to be scrapped immediately.’

 The LED was bright red.

 ‘Thank you for allowing me into your home.’ By the way Renee’s fingers tightened, and how her nails dug into his skin even through the jacket, Hank knew he had fucked up.

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

10, 11 and 14 😘

thank you!! 

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? I personally use ‘kut’ a LOT. like I think it might be my most-used swearword, together with ‘fuck’. it’s just short, it’s snappy, it really expresses how I feel about not-good things, I like how you can also use it to sympathise with people (like ‘oh man that really sucks’: ‘oh dat is echt kut man’) and it has the added bonus of not being a deadly disease that kills/has killed millions of people, unlike SOME swearwords in this language lmao

11. favourite native writer/poet? gonna really show at what age I stopped reading Dutch literature here but: probably Jacques Vriens? Which is primary school level lmao. I went to a signing of his once, as a full adult, and ironically still haven’t read the book he signed because it’s about a child who dies of cancer and I don’t do well with those stories sflhdlkghdfkl. I think I mostly like children’s authors? I do like Paul van Loon, Annie MG Schmidt, Thea Beckman, but it’s all just children’s novels because I mostly moved towards foreign literature very quickly (and completely switched to English by the time I was, oh idk, 14/15-ish)

Okay and maybe Arjen Lubach but I’ve only read a tiny bit of what he’s written. I tried reading proper Dutch literature as a teenager, absolutely hated it and just never looked back. I did try reading some popular novels and YA about 2 years ago when I worked at a library and could read it all for free but none of it ever really stuck with me. 

Also I guess Rutger Bregman counts as a native writer? (he writes nonfiction about topics like universal basic income)  I’ve read some of his stuff. I should probably dig deeper into older Dutch literature at some point, but also hhnnnnnggg I mostly have bad experiences with it ngl.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? I don’t! I used to watch a grand total of one (1) show, Zondag met Lubach, but that one ended a few weeks ago. I will very occasionally watch a show if I happen to know it’s on (I do like Maestro, and sometimes watch De Slimste Mens), but generally speaking I don’t enjoy any Dutch media, full stop.  My sense of humour doesn’t align with what seems to be the standard Dutch sense of humour (with the notable exception, again, of Arjen Lubach. rip zml), and I hate how a lot of it is obviously trying very hard - and failing, imo - to be funny. It just makes me cringe, mostly. Every time I’m forced to see a little bit of de Meilandjes I can feel part of my soul wither and die.  I think what doesn’t help is that I grew up in an area with an accent/dialect, and also went to uni in an area with a different accent/dialect, both of which tend to be more, well, lyrical in their pronunciations. Most media is made in the Western part of the country, and to me that accent, the ‘standard’ Dutch accent, sounds very flat and unemotional and, quite frankly, fake. I can’t really take any of it properly seriously or get into any characters, so I end up never watching any fiction because to me it just looks very stilted and badly acted. And the reality shows, well. Hm. Some of the game shows on NPO1/2/3 are fun, but I stay really far away from some tv channels like SBS6. 

ask me questions about my country!

[fishoutofcamelot]

(for the ask thing) any book/tv show/movie/song recommendations?

BRO! I heckin got you man! Now, I’m gonna skip the song and book recommendation bit because that sorta thing isn’t really my scene. BUT! In terms of TV? My rec list is like a mile long. I’m gonna include a read-more line, actually. 

BBC Merlin: You know I had to put this on the list. But the fact that you’re on my blog means you’ve probably watched this one, so I won’t go into detail about it. Available on Netflix

Mob Psycho 100: Just a cute, sweet story about a bunch of psychic kids trying to kill each other. A story with this much fighting has no right to be so wholesome. Mob is just a good boy, he doesn’t deserve all this! Fair warning, its messages about identity, self love, and growth WILL make you feel Emotions. Available on various anime pirating websites

Red vs Blue: The found family game is SO strong in this one. By far the best found family plot/dynamic I have ever and will ever experience. The characters are all so solid, yknow? Like it took me three rewatches to understand the plot, but I didn’t even care because I loved the characters SO MUCH. It’s also really, really funny (although some of the jokes have aged a bit poorly tbh). Basically about a bunch of space marines who goof off and accidentally dismantle corrupt governments along the way. Available on Youtube

Supernatural: Is it cringey? Yeah. Does the fandom suck? Also yeah. Is Destiel overrated? BIG yeah. But it’s got monsters, magic, family, and a plot that doesn’t revolve around romance - and really, what more could you ask for? And sure, a lot of people don’t really like the later seasons, but idk I actually prefer them. Season 15 has me THRIVING. I mean come on - character vs author?! Fighting the guy who literally wrote you into existence because he doesn’t want to give your story a happy ending?! Say what you will about Supernatural, but it’s one of the most imaginative shows I’ve ever seen. Available on Netflix

Avatar the Last Airbender: You like stellar animation, intricate worldbuilding/magicbuilding, and a perspective on war that is surprisingly mature for a kids show? Check it out. This show is without a doubt one of the best animated series of all time. Go on. Watch it. It’ll change your life. Available on Netflix

The Umbrella Academy: Time-travelling assassins. Superheroes. Ghosts. Talking monkeys. Murder mysteries. Baller soundtracks. This show will never give you what you expect. I don’t even think I could properly describe it to you. Available on Netflix

Detective Conan: An anime. It’s about a teen detective - think Nancy Drew but bloodier - who witnesses a crime and is fed an experimental poison in order to keep him from telling anyone. But instead of killing him, the poison turns him into a 6-year-old. So now he’s got to solve crimes and take down a criminal organization while in the body of a child. Naturally, shenanigans ensue. Fair warning, the main character becomes a bit of a Mary Sue in later episodes, but the first 300 or so are pretty fun. A few episodes are available on Netflix, but not any of the good ones. You’ll need an anime pirating website for that

Knives Out: My favourite movie ever, of all time. It’s a murder mystery that both subverts and pays homage to its parent genre in all the right places. It’s funny, it’s intelligent, and has a spectacular ending! Although I do wish the fandom would stop being so horny for Ransom, I mean he’s literally racist...No clue where you can find this tbh, I saw it in theatres

Derry Girls: Now I’m not normally a big fan of realistic fiction/sitcom stuff. Despite how funny they are, I’ve not even watched The Office or Parks and Rec because that normal daily life stuff just doesn’t peak my interest. And yet, somehow this story about a group of Irish high schoolers just has me enthralled. Very funny, very well-written, give it a watch. Available on Netflix

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Another anime. Phenomenal animation? Check. Fascinating plot and characters? Check. Detailed magic system that gets my lore-obsessed heart fluttering? Big heckin check. So basically two kids try to use Fantasy Science to bring their mom back to life, only the experiment fails and has some pretty nasty consequences - one boy loses his arm and leg, while the other loses his entire body and has his soul bound to a suit of armour. Now they gotta go through government conspiracies, ethical dilemmas, and Daddy Issues to try and get their bodies back. Available on Netflix

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Yet another anime. I know, I know, I’m a nerd, get over it. This show doesn’t have a complex plot or even complex characters, tbh, but what it does have is some amazing humour. It’s extremely funny, and it’s also just a nice show to kick back and relax to. Basically this guy who’s so op that he could rewrite the laws of reality on a whim is stuck dealing with relationship drama in high school despite being very, very asexual and very, very tired. Mostly he just uses his powers to avoid people and eat junk food, which is honestly a mood. Available on Netflix

Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Honestly I’d recommend almost anything that’s Scooby Doo-related because that was my childhood obsession. I used to have like 20 of the movies on DVD before my mom gave them all away. To this day I still love Scooby Doo, and watch it whenever I get the chance. But if you ask any SD fan, they’ll probably tell you that Mystery Incorporated is the best, most intelligent, most creative installment in the franchise. And they’re right (although I do wish there was less relationship drama...) Available on Netflix

Evil Genius: This is a documentary series about the Collar Bomb Robbery. Now, despite what the above list might indicate, I actually watch a LOT of documentaries, and if I were here to recommend all of them then we would be here all day. Not really ‘funny’ like the other entries on this list, it’s actually rather tragic, but definitely a cerebral viewing experience. Available on Netflix

Screwball: Now this is a documentary that IS funny. It’s about drug scandals in baseball. But the dramatic scene re-enactments are done with child actors that are all wearing fake beards and pretending to be drug dealers. It’s not only a fascinating subject, but it’s got amazing editing and visuals that have me in awe. Available on Netflix

Behind the Curve: Yet another documentary. This one’s about the rise of the Flat Earth movement. You’ll spend most of the time on the verge of having a stroke because of how stupid it all is. Available on Netflix

The Movies That Made Us: Okay okay okay last documentary on the list I swear. This one’s exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a series talking about the behind-the-scenes production of iconic movies like Home Alone and Ghostbusters. I eagerly await the second season. Available on Netflix

Monster Factory: If you’re familiar with the McElroy brothers and their brand of humour, you’ll love this. Griffin and Justin team up to make the most disturbing avatars they can create using video game character creators. The origins of the Final Pam meme. If I had a shirt with a quote from Monster Factory on it, I’d die a happy man. Available on Youtube

Baman Piderman: The dumbest show I have ever watched, but it’s so adorable and stupid and I love it so much. It doesn’t really have a plot, but later episodes allude to the presence of one and I’m upset because there are so many mysteries/questions hinted at and we’ll never get answers because it’s been abandoned. PLEASE watch it. Available on Youtube

Stranger Things: Okay, season 2 was a bit of a let-down imo, but season 1 was ICONIC and the Scoops Troop subplot in season 3 deserved its own freakin spinoff. I’m not joking. I didn’t even like s3 all that much, but the only reason it’s my favourite is because the Scoops Troop plot was so great. People call this show ‘horror’ but I don’t think it’s scary enough for that, although it is admittedly kinda spooky. If you like 80s nostalgia and the horror aesthetic, then I’d give it a watch (Do it for Scoops Troop. Do it for Robin). Available on Netflix

Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart: Despite my overwhelming love for this film, I’ll be the first to admit it’s kinda mediocre. The plot is weird and the romance feels forced, but despite its flaws it manages to be one of my favourite movies. Mostly I just like it for the unique concept and beautiful ending. Also the music is off the par man. Probably because the writer/producer of the movie was the lead singer for a French band called Dionysus (what? I do my research). Available on Netflix

Wakfu: I haven’t seen past season 3, but so far it’s pretty good. You go in thinking it’s just a wholesome action/adventure show about a kid who can create portals - but then it just. Sucks you in. From its bopping theme song to its fantastic found family to the unique worldbuilding, you very quickly fall in love with it. It’s got a cool plot and also talking dragons, and it doesn’t get better than that. Available on Netflix

Mystery Skulls Animated: Technically not a TV show so much as it is a series of animated music videos with a plot, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the greatest things of all time. It’s basically Scooby Doo but if Shaggy got possessed by a demon and killed Fred, causing Fred to become a ghost hellbent on revenge-killing Shaggy in return. And if Scooby was an ancient Japanese spirit that bit off Shaggy’s arm, forcing him to wear a metal prosthetic. Yeah, MSA is wild. It’s only got three videos out so far, with a fourth one coming out this October, but there’s already so much lore! Available on Youtube

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared: Ah yes, yet another cringey entry on this list. But you know what? Cringe culture is dead!!! And despite its fandom being...like that...DHMIS really is a cool show. Think if Sesame Street was like haunted or something. The episodes about creativity and telling time remain the most unsettling, imo. Definitely worth a watch. Available on Youtube

Inanimate Insanity: Oh boy. Am I seriously recommending you dip your little fingies into the object fandom? Yes. Yes I am. This show is so obscure it makes freakin Detective Conan look popular. At its core it’s a parody of Total Drama Island and Survivor but with anthropomorphized inanimate objects as characters (hence the name). Season 2 is actually really, really good and surprisingly competent. You just gotta get through season 1 first. Available on Youtube

The X-Files: Wow, a live action series on this list? Who woulda thought??? But seriously, this show is really fun. Memes and jokes aside, I love it. Scully and Mulder are fun characters with great chemistry (both platonic and romantic), the Lone Horsemen are hilarious, and every episode is a unique adventure into the most creative acid trips the human mind could conceive of. Phenomenal from start to finish (if you ignore the last season). I have no clue where you would watch this. Pirate it, probably

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Two idiots investigate cold cases and haunted locales while being utter dumbasses about it. You know the “hey demons it’s be ya boi” meme? That came from these guys. Available on Youtube

Kingdom: Ngl, I didn’t go into this expecting zombies. Or for it to take place during Korean feudalism, for that matter. But mediocre dubbing aside, this show has such a clever concept. It takes the zombie apocalypse genre and gives refreshing, unique twists to old tropes that they feel like something new. Seo-bi is my wife and she deserves all the love and appreciation in the world, and those are just Facts. Available on Netflix

My Hero Academia: Superhero high school anime. I personally am not a fan of later episodes/arcs, but the first three seasons are pretty dang good. Diverse, colourful ensemble cast that you easily grow to adore, interesting commentary on disability (although I’m not qualified to give any actual takes on that), and a school curriculum that makes me very, very concerned for the wellbeing of these children. Plus all the superpowers - aka ‘quirks’ - are super imaginative and, well, quirky! I just wish people would stop shipping the main character with his childhood bully...You’ll need to pirate this one too lmao

Danny Phantom: The highlight of this show is its ‘phandom’, because unlike someone (*cough* Butch Hartman), we’re not a bunch of cowards. It’s about a guy who messes around with his parents’ lab stuff and accidentally acquires the ability to die! Well, half-die. He can turn into a ghost and fight other ghosts. Although the show never explores the existential, traumatic fallout of being kinda-sorta-dead, the potential for something deep and emotional is there. Plus there is a LOT of accidental subtext for a Big LGBT+ Metaphor. So much so that the Trans Danny theory is basically canon. Uhhh not available on Netflix anymore so it’s time to whip out your pirate hat, matey

And there you have it! Like I said, I have a lot of TV recommendations. And I just KNOW I’m forgetting a ton, but this is already really long so we’ll have to cut off here. 

Thanks for the ask! <3

[dadoroki]

Partners In Crime

Keigo Takami x Reader

Warning: fluff for my chicken, flirty boi

Summary: You and Hawks were assigned partners, a crime-fighting duo. Both devoting your skills and knowledge to protect society. However, it’s hard when your other half continuously flirts with you.

You were reading the most engrossing part of the romantic novel before hearing your phone vibrate. Placing a bookmark on the page you left off on, you tuck the thick book back into your dark stand. You grab your phone, opening the video message.

Hawks pointed the camera directly to his face with an endearing little grin.

“Hey, short-stuff.”

You hated the given nickname. You weren’t even that much shorter than him.

“So, I was thinking...” He paused shuffling the camera then turning it to face three dress shirts laying on his bed.

“I wanna wear the wine one but the black one is callin’ out to me... it’s a no for the blue one. I don’t know, what colour are you gonna wear?”

You playfully roll your eyes. Instead, you click on his contact number and placed the phone beside your ear. It only took one ring for him to pick up.

“Well hello, tiny. Seeing your name pop up on my phone makes me feel super special, y’know.”

You hear his flirty tone, making you pretend to gag. “Too bad I can’t say the same.”

He hummed in response, ignoring your comment and eyeing his neatly folded shirts back and forth.

“Ah, it’s so good to hear your voice. Anyways, which colour are you wearing to the hero banquet?”

You pause for a moment, unsure what you were going to wear tonight. You lean on your right arm for support and took a peak in your open closet. The first thing you spot was a cherry low cut dress hanging in your closet. “Red.” Yeah, you definitely weren’t going to wear that one.

“Ooh, very sexy. I’ll wear my wine one to match.”

Hawks was always flirting with you. Whenever he saw an open opportunity, he’d always take it. You’ve only known the man for a few weeks and he was already all up in your space.

The blazing sun shone through the trees and bathed the buildings in it’s warm light. Entering the cafe, you scan your eyes looking for big red wings. You felt a pair of clothed hands hovering your vision.

“Guess who?”

You pinch your chin with your index finger and your thumb, pretending to think.

“Man, I’m not sure. Maybe if I elbow the groin, I can run away from this hostage situation.”

The hands swiftly removed itself from you. You turn around, seeing the birdboy cringe and covering his region.

“Hey, only hands allowed.”

His finger followed his movements as he shook his head. You slightly smirk and pretend to smack him. Chuckling, Hawks swings his arm around you and guides you towards your reserved table. You both are seated and he initiates conversation.

“So, would you consider this a date?”

You choke on your food, earning a low laugh from Hawks. Your fingers reach for the napkin beside your nearly empty plate, picking it up to wipe your lips.

“I don’t recall this ever being a date.”

You watch as the man dramatically pout, taking the straw of his beverage between his two fingers and whirling it.

“Awh c’mon, (y/n). You’re single, I’m single. We’re coincidentally having lunch together...”

He accidentally flicks his fingers, causing the straw to jolt up hitting your face. He gave you a yikes expression. Eyes wide open, lips pursed as one side droops down. You squint your eyes shut and hiss at the sting, rubbing the drips of coffee out of your sight with a clenched fist.

“Do you really think it’s professional to date your few weeks collegue?”

Silence filled the table.

“Is that a trick question?”

You sigh in hopelessness as he continues to come up with an answer. How did you even get stuck with him? Why couldn’t you get Best Jeanist or Miruko instead? How long can this guy talk for, sheesh?

“A rhetorical one perhaps.”

The sound of Hawks’s earpiece catches both of you off guard. You stare at him with full focus, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. He nodded and ended the call, getting up and slipping on his jacket.

“Looks like our date was cut short.”

About to reply to his prevaricational comment, he interrupts you with a kiss on your head. Your cheeks blush red at his unexpected action.

“Save me a dance.”

Hawks winks at you before taking off. You watch him take wing with each defined feather through the glass window. You simply rest your head on your hand with your forefinger on your cheekbone. The memory flashed over and over again.

Drawn-out minutes go by, a sudden call ringing in your pocket. You look at the caller id, seeing it’s your boss. You pick up the phone, listening to the man speak. He explains the situation to you and how Hawks was in critical damage, asking for your assistance. Others would be coming shortly but you being around the area made you a quick responder.

You enter the chaotic battlefield. A few pro heroes had already found their way into the fight, taking turns attacking the villain. You examine the area, looking for Hawks. From afar, you could spot his heavily damaged figure lying on the ground. You quickly made your way over to him, squatting down and pulling his upper body on top of your lap.

You shake his head, calling out his name. No response. You continued your attempt to wake up his unconcious body but failed. He was already gone. Defeated, you let your head fall forward and pulled him in closer.

You hear a soft giggle beneath you, causing you to glance at the man secretly trying to swipe away your fallen locks that tickled his face.

Even in bad times like this, Hawks always found a way to joke.

You roughly smack his arm, angered by his cruel humour. He winced in pain, mostly caused by his rib injury.

“Aah, I can’t b-breathe. N-need air. Quick, give me CPR.”

He drops his body, playing dead which only earned a stern look from you. You push him off of you, retreating away from him and back above him.

“Hawks, right now is not the time to joke.”

Hawks moved from his position, letting his cheek rest on his supported hand. The right side of his transparent eye gear was shattered. His right eye was swollen and parts of his face were temporarily bruised.

“What, am I not pretty anymore?”

You groan in annoyance at his sarcasm, waiting for medics to arrive. Once they did, a now stretchered Hawks was being strolled into the back of the ambulance.

You sat at the depressing banquet, swirling your wine around in circles. You recieved no update of Hawks’s injuries and it made you panic. The intense fight took place in the afternoon and it was now the night. You play with the delicate chains on your wrist, eyeing the cherry low cut you decided to wear as a last minute decision.

With a low sigh, you got up to leave the loud and chattery ceremony. You felt a warm hand on your naked shoulder stopping you from leaving.

“Leaving so early? If I remember clearly, you still owe me a dance.”

You spin around, almost slipping on your heels. Hawks stood ahead of you with a cast on his arm. Without even thinking, you pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Careful, I still got injured ribs, y’know. But I guess for you it’s an exception.”

You quickly pull away, embarrassed by your unintentional act. The floor was all of a sudden interesting, locking your gaze on it. Hawks extended his soft open hand to you.

“Well, (y/n). You ready for our dance?”

Your eyes travelled from his hand to his face, giving him a pure smile and filling his hand with yours. He led you to the floor, both of you dancing the night away.

[prettywordsyouleft]

You Didn’t Let Me! - Part 4 (Final)

Summary: It took you three guys to realise you had been running from love all along. When you finally meet up again at a university reunion, you weren’t prepared to answer the question of who you wanted most.

Pairing: Yoo Kihyun x Park Jinyoung x Lee Seunggi x reader

Genre: romance / angst / self-growth au

Warnings: three hot guys and y/n’s an idiot lol none

A/N: This was initially meant to be a oneshot for the Trick, No It’s My Treat dares. However, the storyline suited being broken up and so I have made it into a mini-series. I hope you enjoy!  

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

You had never been one for parties like this, yet you hadn’t seen everyone in so long either. Five years had passed by and your university decided to hold a bash for all previous students. Raisa had been on your case about attending for weeks after receiving the invitation, and eventually you had agreed, hoping for the most of it that it would be a good night.

And so far it had been. You had caught up with classmates you hadn’t seen in years, giggling over engagement rings and pictures of families. You had heard of the failures and successes of those you once spent hours within lecture halls all trying to achieve the same goal. And you were able to share your own, even laughing at the once failed moments in your life.

Perhaps your jubilant mood was why it came as a surprise when he approached you later into the evening. You hadn’t been avoiding anyone, you had finally grown into who you were as a person now. In fact, you hadn’t seen him at the party until he stood before you, those dark eyes of his scrutinising you once again.

You didn’t know if you had missed that look or not. Still, you smiled. “Park Jinyoung.”

“Y/N,” he greeted, hands thrust deep into his pants pockets so you couldn’t shake them. Would you even cope doing so? He hadn’t changed much. Even in his dress shirt, you could see his well-sculpted body filling out every part of the fabric over it. Your smile grew, he definitely was still one of the most attractive people you had ever crossed paths with.

“I need to ask you, after all these years, why you disappeared back then.”

You blinked away from your daze. He was guarded, and yet he implored you to tell him all the same. Clearly the puzzle you left behind really bothered him even after all this time.

“It’s silly really,” you admitted, looking down at your dress to smooth it down a little. Why did he still make you feel feeble? You had been so hopeful for his attention back then, even if he made you feel clumsy every time. You squared your feet in your heels, focusing on remaining upright in his presence. After deliberating things, you let out a sigh. “I had a crush on you.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flashed with several reactions and he jerked forward, pulling a hand out of his pocket to run through his raven hair. He then let out a laugh before turning back to you. “You knew I liked you!”

“What?”

Jinyoung laughed again, moving closer. “What trainer gets that close with someone? Heck, Y/N, I could have been fired for how affectionate I was with you. That was why I stopped our sessions. It wasn’t anything to do with how clumsy you were, I found that strangely adorable. I told you to come see me that day because … because honestly! How did you not know?!”

“You dropped being my trainer because you wanted to see me out of the gym?”

Jinyoung looked at you as if you were the slowest human on Earth. And for a moment there, you felt just like that. Blinking sluggishly as you processed it all, you looked at the man who was now clearly aggravated. You cringed. “I thought you didn’t like me, and you seemed so good with that other client that I got jealous and then doubted myself … I can’t believe you liked me.”

“How did you not realise?” Jinyoung whined and before you could reply, someone else did for you.

“Because Y/N is the type to be completely unaware of the other person’s feelings.”

You looked at who had stepped into your conversation, Jinyoung now eyeing Kihyun carefully. However, the newcomer was only staring at you. “She had no idea just how much I liked her either.”

“No, you liked Raisa,” you pointed out, your head beginning to throb from all of this. Just where did Kihyun even appear from? You were having a hard enough time dealing with knowing Jinyoung had liked you.

Now you had another confessing his feelings? It made no sense.

“I didn’t like Raisa that way; she’s like a sister to me. We practically grew up together. But Y/N I liked you. I was awkward with you because I liked you. And when you started coming around and helping me with my meals, I tried so hard to impress you. Still, you kept referring to me as your friend. I even called you my girlfriend to see what reaction I would get out of you.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flashed with annoyance then, lips pressing firmly together as Kihyun continued. You shook your head. “I reacted and I was going to tell you how I felt but then you called me just a good friend. What was I meant to think after that?”

“Did I come before or after him?” Jinyoung suddenly asked and Kihyun scoffed.

“Listen, aren’t you the guy who used to work at the campus gym? I came first; I’ve known her since high school.”

“Clearly, you didn’t work hard enough. Unlike me,” Jinyoung stated, the ghost of a smile curling his lips. Then he looked back at you and let out a heavy breath. “Though I guess at the end of the day, we’re in the same boat. Y/N didn’t realise either of us liked her.”

“Until now,” Kihyun concluded and you stared back at them both before letting out a small laugh.

“Guys, it’s been years. Surely, you’ve moved on.”

“Of course we have,” Kihyun announced and Jinyoung shrugged. “But there’s always mysteries in life worth solving. One of mine has always been why you didn’t choose to be with me.”

“Have you figured out what you need in life now, Y/N?”

You clamped your eyes closed; you hadn’t expected this at all. When you opened them again, both Kihyun and Jinyoung were eyeing Seunggi exasperatedly.

Jinyoung laughed bitterly and pointed to the third member of this conversation. “Another one you didn’t know liked you?”

“No, Y/N was well aware I liked her, in fact, we even dated.”

The annoyance was immediately clear and for a moment you didn’t know what to do. You weren’t one to drink, but you sure could knock back an entire glass of champagne right now with how ridiculous this was all becoming. This was the last thing you expected to happen at the reunion tonight.

“Y/N?” Kihyun prompted and you blinked out of your multiple thoughts of how to escape this situation. “What’s the deal with this guy?”

“Co-workers turned lovers, wasn’t that it? I guess I was too much with my envision for our future,” Seunggi announced and you rubbed your wrists awkwardly.

“Seunggi, it wasn’t… oh my god. Five years, guys,” you mentioned and none of them were pleased with your reminder. “It’s been at least five years.”

“Humour us then, over the past five years or more in some cases, I’m sure,” Seunggi offered and Kihyun nodded whilst Jinyoung simply stared at you, the three all more than frustrated to know there were loose ends with all of them. “Have you thought of any of us?”

“Well-”

“Did you ever think, wow, Kihyun and I would have made a great match?”

“We’d be married by now, I’m certain of it,” Seunggi added on and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. He wasn’t ready to voice his own opinion, though you could see it there under the surface.

“Did you all just decide to crash the reunion over this?” you asked tentatively, trying to smile. “I’m just some girl who messed up royally with all of you. If anything, you should not want to be chosen by me.”

“Still, like this guy Kihyun here said, there’s always mysteries in life worth solving.”

“I had never dated anyone, that’s the answer. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Yet you managed to have three guys in the very least fall for you at one point or another,” Jinyoung finally admitted and the other two nodded.

“Well, Y/N, what are you going to do about this?”

“I…”

“Seunggi is right, surely you can solve this very easily,” Kihyun chimed in over you, causing you to swallow back the remaining parts of your sentence. Jinyoung didn’t speak out loud but you could feel all of his disappointment and frustrations as if he had spoken them just now.

You took a step back.

“You’re not going to run from this, are you?” Seunggi wondered, stepping forward. It was a game of cat and mouse, your troubled shuffles backward only causing the problem to follow.

No, there was no escape.

“I…” you started again, eyes wide with concern. “Won’t choose any of you.”

“What?”

“Because you can’t decide?” Kihyun surmised as Jinyoung scoffed loudly.

“If I was meant to be with any of you, it would have happened,” you said with conviction. Turning to Kihyun, you smiled. “I was too naïve back then. I thought you could read how much I had crushed over you and was so embarrassed when you couldn’t. I had no experience in love.”

You then looked at Jinyoung. “You were someone who I wanted to be with and yet I doubted who I was to even match you. To me, you were the unreachable dream. No guy as gorgeous as you would like me back. So I gave up before it even could begin.”

Seunggi was waiting for your answer for him. “By the time I got to you, I knew love would be something I’d have with you. You were obvious and I wasn’t as young and foolish by that time. Yet, I had never experienced a simple romance either. One where you fumbled around and just had basic expectations. With you, it was clear you had painted out a future for us. And whilst I knew you’d wait for me to catch up, I was too overwhelmed to try.”

You could see them all processing what you said, Kihyun opening his mouth, only to close it again.

“I’m sorry but I’m also more apologetic to myself. Meeting you all here again makes me realise just how lowly I thought of my worth back then. I had to learn a lot and whilst I might have been a mystery to you all, each of you helped me understand what I needed to go through or fix about myself in order to find love with myself. I realised it didn’t matter what age I was to experience dating for the first time. I just needed to find the right guy to do that with once I was certain I could love myself first.”

“What’s this all about?” a fourth person asked curiously and whilst the sombre mood was softening, the three guys looked towards him, and then back at you.

“Another one?!”

You smiled, shyly slipping an arm around his waist. Glancing down at you, Brian kissed your forehead gently before smiling at the others. “Looks like I’m the right guy.”

“You’re dating? Why didn’t you just say so from the beginning?” Kihyun mentioned and you shot him an incredulous look.

“I feel so stupid now,” Seunggi added on, looking at you both before walking off with Kihyun, slapping him on the shoulder and offering to buy him a drink.

Still, Jinyoung remained. “Really Brian?”

“Wait, you both know each other?” you asked, looking between the two of them.

Brian grinned, shrugging lightly. “We might have been roommates in university at one point.”

“You knew I liked her!”

“Sue me for having an interest too,” he commented, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “I just happened to cross paths with Y/N again when it was meant to happen.”

“Unbelievable,” Jinyoung muttered as he walked off to join the others at the bar and you glanced up at your boyfriend curiously.

Brian chuckled. “What?”

“How long were you listening in?” you wondered and Brian moved to wrap his arms around you, trying to play coy. You gasped and slapped at his back. “You were there for most of it, weren’t you?!”

“Well, it doesn’t take long to go to the bathroom, Y/N.”

“Why did you allow it to drag out so long?! I was so flustered!”

“You once told me you wanted to face the guys of your past that you didn’t let have a chance with you so I was allowing you to do just that.” Brian then frowned. “I was worried there for a moment though.”

“Worried over what? And why didn’t you tell me you knew Jinyoung, you sneak!”

“Does any of it matter? You chose me in the end.”

“I chose myself, you just happened to be the person who I couldn’t pass by.”

“Do you wish you had of known that the other two liked you? Maybe you would be married to Seunggi by now.”

Shaking your head, you stepped up on your toes to kiss him briefly. “No, I know I was foolish back then and scared of love. Now, I’m all too happy with where I am.”

“With me?”

You smiled. “Well, I let you in, didn’t I?”

_________________

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[joshuahyslop]

BOOKS

The last 10 books I’ve read:

1. Wolf - Jim Harrison  I found this book in one of the little neighbourhood book exchanges that are all around Vancouver. They look like little log cabins and it’s a loose “take a book, leave a book” policy. I’ve liked some of Harrison’s other books as well as some of his poetry so I picked it up. It’s fairly well written but it’s one of the most depraved and depressed characters I’ve read in a long time. It’s like a darker more depraved version of “On The Road”. More misogynistic, more obsessed with sex and completely lacking of anything philosophic. One of the reviewers on the back cover said it was (paraphrasing) a poetic depiction of a joyful life. I guess I must have read a different book.

2. The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon The first book of Pynchon’s I’d picked up. This was such an enjoyable read. I’ve steered clear of his books for fear of not being able to understand them. Every time I’ve talked about wanting to read his book “Gravity’s Rainbow”, I’ve been asked if I’ve read anything else by him. As if that’s a requirement. When I bought this book the teller asked me the same question. When I said no, he said “This is a good place to start.” I don’t know why that is, but now I’ve read one of his books and enjoyed it. I’ve eased into the Pynchon. I think I’m allowed to read another one now.

3. Joyland - Stephen King This was incredibly disappointing. I’ve read a lot of King’s books. They’re often hit or miss but they’re almost always enjoyable as brain candy. Books like, “The Shining”, “Carrie” or “Misery” are well written and suspenseful. It makes sense why he’s heralded as the King of Horror. But this one does not measure up. In fact, it falls very short of the rest of his work that I’ve read. I felt myself cringing at some of his dialogue. It was just so cheesy. Even though it was set in the 70′s, no one’s ever spoken like that. There’s very little suspense and the story itself isn’t very engaging. When you finally get to the action it’s only a couple of pages and then it’s done. It’s a very quick read, but definitely skippable.

4. The Truth About Stories - Thomas King A friend of mine who loves to read gave me a bag full of books to check out. This was one of them. It’s one of the CBC Massey Lectures and I love that series. I have a bunch of them already so I was excited to check this out. I also have King’s book, “The Inconvenient Indian” on my bookshelf in my “to read” pile. A pile that does nothing but seem to grow. But it’s still a ways down in the pile. So I thought I’d check out this little book because it’s only 5 essays and it would give me a sample of his writing. I’m very glad that I did. It’s so well written. It’s funny, it’s sad, it makes you think. If you care about stories, politics, religion, and the treatment of First Nations people by the US and Canadian governments, you should give this a read. I can’t wait to get to his book.

5. Deadeye Dick - Kurt Vonnegut In my last post I mentioned liking Vonnegut a lot and being surprised at how few of his books I’d read. It turns out I’m just very bad at using technology. I keep a Word document of all the books I’ve read to avoid reading the same book twice, accidentally. I’d tried using the “find” function and somehow did it wrong, so only a few Vonnegut titles showed up. As it turns out, this was the ninth book by Vonnegut that I’d read. That makes way more sense to me. I enjoyed this one a lot. It’s pretty funny and pretty sad. A good combination, if you ask me.

6. 69 - Ryu Murakami One of my favourite local used bookstores offers store credit if you bring in some books and they decide to buy them from you. You can either take cash or store credit. If you choose credit, you have to spend it all before you go. It’s fun. On this particular visit I had about $60 worth of credit. I’d picked the books I wanted and still had $14 left. They recommended this book. i’d never read anything by this Murakami (no relation to Haruki) so I had no idea what to expect but I was excited to check it out. I loved it. It takes place in 1969 and follows the path of some high school students looking to join or start some kind of counter-cultural movement. The two main characters actually reminded me a lot of my own experience in high school. I’ll be checking out more of his writing for sure.

7. Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace Good lord. This was a mountain I’d tried to climb once before and failed. To have finally finished this book is no small feat. Standing at the top, looking back down I’m actually amazed I made it all the way through. It’s not that it’s an unenjoyable read. On the contrary. It’s very well written and quite enjoyable. It’s just that it’s over 1100 pages and contains 388 footnotes, many of which are several pages long and some even have footnotes of their own. At times it can feel like you’re reading two or three books at once. Another challenge is that there are at least 3 plots taking place all at once. Each story can jump ahead or backwards in time which can be tricky to track, PLUS there are character’s plot-lines that are introduced in great detail (one that comes to mind takes 11 pages to describe a young man addicted to marijuana anxiously waiting for his dealer to arrive) that are never again revisited. The three main story lines are loosely connected but the book takes its sweet time revealing that fact. All of that, mind you, and we still haven’t even mentioned the deep themes of addiction, suicide and capitalism that run throughout the book. I’m very glad I’ve read it. I usually enjoyed doing so. But if you’re not committed, if you don’t have some serious time to lean in, or if you don’t like his style of writing then perhaps you should steer clear. It’s an uphill climb, for sure.

8. Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things - Lafcadio Hearn This book caught my eye while I was taking my son for a walk. It was in the window of another one of our local bookstores, so I stopped in and checked it out. It’s a book of Japanese ghost stories and myths from hundreds if not thousands of years ago. The stories themselves are sometimes scary, sometimes funny, sometimes very confusing, but always enjoyable. Although the last three chapters completely disregard all things Japanese and consist of the authors philosophical rumination regarding Butterflies and the afterlife, Mosquitoes and the taking of innocent life (even when it seems to serve no purpose), and Ants and their altruistic existence vs our individualistic societies. There are other books in this series and I plan to check out at lease one more. I’ve always wanted to go to Japan so I’ve got a definite bias here, but if you like myths or ghost stories there’s a good chance you’d enjoy this book.

9. Braiding Sweetgrass - Robin Wall Kimmerer I know I’m late to the party on this one, but this is a fantastic book. It’s one that I’ll be recommending for years to come. Its subtitle is: “Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teaching of Plants”. It is all of that and so much more. I truly loved reading this book. I took notes. I underlined. I had to stop to think and reflect. I’d definitely encourage you to do the same.

10. Masters of Atlantis - Charles Portis This book is hilarious. Very dry, very droll. It’s a tongue-in-cheek look at the people who organize and who believe in secret societies, cults and religion in general. I didn’t know what to expect when I started it. The only other book by Portis that I’ve read was True Grit. This book is absolutely nothing like that. It’s completely it’s own. The only thing it has in common is Portis’ sense of humour. I don’t know that I’ve ever read anything quite so dry as this before. Maybe something by S.J. Perelman or something like that. This book was recommended to me by M.C. Taylor from Hiss Golden Messenger so I was pretty confident it would be good. It’s safe to say I would never have picked it up without the recommendation but also, I’m glad that I did.

more soon, -joshua