#The problem is the fact that the adults reciprocate

[deafeningdestinyaster]

Mike Wheeler : Unarmoured Knight (long ass post)

The fact that I find Mike struggles with is his limitations to meet the expectations or mostly the expectations that he has set for himself. As a GA what we can find is that objectively speaking Mike has got everything that a normal child needs. A fully functional 2 parents, siblings, financially well stable and good friends. The thing is that this might be something that he himself might be completely aware of. This might be something that make you feel that your problems are significantly trivial compared to others (in his case he's friends).

But the normal picture doesn't go much far as it has its own issues. Mostly a perpetual need to prove yourself and for Mike to be in the armour of a good friend, a leader and a boyfriend..For first 2 seasons Mike had a more central character and this kinda reflects how we personally finds him.. which is a really good friend, best friend. But from season 3 onwards we are shown find him not meeting his par. Thing is Mike was never actually given a chance to go through his emotions one by one but rather rushed through.

'Will came back' doesn't necessarily just erase the sadness or hopelessness that you have gone through be it an adult or a child of 12. Will's arrival was also accompanied by the disappearance of El whom he has taken as a friend. Be it romantic or not he does find something in her that made their connection special. Like Will, she made him feel needed. He was always 'protective over Will' but I think more than him Mike was the one more dependent over Will. Will is often portrayed as sensitive child but that never stops him being honest or to call over Mike's BS. He is indeed a voice of reason for Mike and Mike knows that himself.

Back to El, rather than a friend he/she wants him to be a boyfriend to her which tbh is rushed in this series. I don't think a relationship that's made when your super-straight friend and sister prompted into when you were just 12 is really a good one. He was kinda pushed into this role based on his own guilt for not looking for her enough in S2 and also societal expectations.

Unlike Will for whom Joyce and Jon are completely supportive to be himself, Mike is set up with a family who just tries to fits in with all that society demands which is kinda evident in Karen's wardrobe over the series unlike Joyce.

So Mike wants to be a good boyfriend. He tries to have quality time with El ignoring his friends, tries to win her over thru presents, gives up on anything that associates to be childish cos he def loves her.. but what he fails to realise is the that fact that he was also losing someone who has been consistent throughout his life, someone who has never changed. His best friend.

And Will made this super clear. This was something that he couldn't forgive himself for and which is why, yeah.. But in case of El he doesn't find he has done anything wrong. In fact he was just begrudgingly following her dad's order. Now, he wants to get back with her, why? Cos it makes him crazy? Thing with Mike and El is that they never reciprocate what the other wants. For El it was a physical confirmation of love be it letters or even a kiss. For Mike, he wanted someone who makes him feel needed and to sometimes lean on him emotionally. To make him, be himself. But sadly, they don't trust each other with their fears or inner turmoils. They both tried. But El doesn't need to lean on Mike for his romantic love but rather to show that she's capable on her own. Even during Mike's monologue what pushed El was not his love confession but rather him prompting she must do it cos she can. But there's someone who makes him feel needed, whom he doesn't treat weak or as a mistake.

What I really feel is that Mike didn't realise that his definition of a best friend is something that's quite parallel to a lover. Mike is needed by Will in a way that makes Will accept himself for being who he is and not like a monster. And Mike needs Will cos he's friendship is something that makes him grounded and can't live without..

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Most of these are covered by y'all..just my take on it

[mari-natsus-kool-korner]

i read the first volume of cardcaptor Sakura for the first time and as much as I enjoyed it and the magic system. Uhm. So how does the majority of the fan base feel about Sakura's parents getting married at like 27 and 16. Or the teacher dating a fourth grader. Or tamoya (I think that's how you spell her name) who crushes on Sakura being cousins. Like how do y'all discuss this.

[withahappyrefrain]

“Stop wiggling around, I’m trying to sleep! Wait… what’s tha… oh!”

Forced proximity with best friend Bob?

A chance to do friends to lovers with Bob? Say no more!

"Remind me to never let Javy book the Air B&B again."

Bob chuckled at your comment, despite agreeing, "Well at least we have an actual bed. Reuben and Mickey have bunk beds."

"So all the single people have to suffer?" You scoffed, continuing to shuffle through your luggage.

The annual lake trip was going well, until the room arrangements were revealed. It wasn't that you minded sharing a room with Bob.

It was the lack of a second bed.

Twenty years ago, when you were both eight, this wouldn't have been a problem. But then puberty, high school, and base camp occurred, which brought to light the crush you had been harboring on your best friend.

"We'll make it work. And if it's that bad, I can take the floor," he offered, always the considerate one. It was one of the many traits you adored about Bob.

"Robert James Floyd, absolutely not!" You scolded, eliciting a chuckle out of him. It was deep and low, just like his voice and you didn't want to admit how it made your knees nearly shake.

"I've slept in barracks before, it's the same thing."

The comment would have gotten a laugh out of you. In fact, you would have even made a remark back, probably about how you've also slept in truck beds and underneath a wide open sky.

But then Bob Floyd took his shirt off.

It wasn't even your first time seeing him shirtless, far from it. But now he had filled out, with muscle and a dusting of hair that trailed down from his chest, past his stomach.

God, was he always this hot? Had to be and somehow you just didn't notice it until later. Perhaps that was the worst part; you fell for him because of who he was. It wasn't as if he had some type of glowup over summer break, like you'd see so often in those stupid teen movies you'd watch to feel better about yourself. No, Bob Floyd was always a beautiful soul, inside and out.

And he wasn't yours. Couldn't be. The risk of him not reciprocating was too high. Plus, your family was friends with his'. That meant Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, hell, even fucking Memorial Day gatherings would be tainted. All thanks to you.

The pressure was too high, the risk was too great.

But you could look, right?

"Sunshine?"

Bob's childhood now turned adult nickname for you broke the spell. Your wide eyes met his oceanic's. His hair, which had gotten darker over the years and now had threads of early greys, was mussed from taking off his shirt, some curls over the front of his forehead, others to the side. White shirt in hand, highlighting how massive they were when clutching the alabaster fabric. Brow's knitted together, combined with his narrow eyes and titled head created a downright adorable look of confusion.

"You,,,," he briefly turned around, to see if there was something on the wall behind him and that's why you wouldn't look at him, "You okay?"

You nodded eagerly, probably too eagerly, "Yeah sorry....I uh spaced out. Probably thinking of ways to get back at Javy."

Bob smiled, despite it never reaching his eyes when he nodded. You had turned around so quickly, unable to make such an observation.

"I'm going to go take a shower," grabbing the top and bottom you could find the quickest in your suitcase. You avoided eye contact with him, too busy feeling shame for getting caught doing something so lewd.

Rushing, you turned the water on in the showers. Focusing on ensuring you grabbed the correct products. Get the water to the perfect temperature and pressure, it exists, it has to exist because if it doesn't then you'll think about the dark body hair that went past the waistband of his jeans.

For about twenty minutes, it worked. You did your skincare routine, brushed your teeth for nearly two minutes, even blow dried your hair. Applied a lip mask, that stupid lash and brow serum the worker at Sephora conned you into buying. Moisturize every inch of your body, even though it was the dead of summer and you would sweat it all off before sunrise. That stupid reusable eye mask that you got because it was on clearance. Have you done the Wordle today, you should do the Wordle. You should do anything other than thinking about sharing a bed with your shirtless best friend.

It worked. Even put on some music, not too loud, just enough to hear and hum along.

It worked. For a while. But then you had used nearly every product in your cosmetics bag and it was time to get dressed.

Fuck.

You could never match a pair of socks, not even if your life depended on it. But tonight, fucking tonight of all nights, you had to grab a whole matching set.

The pale pink lace trimmed cami, paired with joggers. An oversized T-shirt that went further down than the pair of matching satin shorts.

You had brought the set when you were talking to a guy and thought you would be able to move on from the wonder that is Bob Floyd. What a fucking joke.

Maybe you could wear them, run back out to grab something else and run back in to change. No, why would anyone do that? If anything, it'll just make it more obvious that you didn't want to wear it in front of him. But what if you didn't change and Bob thought you had worn essentially casual lingerie on purpose? What if he found that weird? What if-

"You okay in there Sunny?" His voice always calmed you, always able to break you out of whatever self inflicted spiral you were on.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded despite Bob being unable to see you, "Yeah, I'm good. Just developed a more extensive skincare routine."

A short burst of laughter was released on the other side of the door, "You don't need all that. Already pretty."

"Bob Floyd, you are....." Charming. Amazing. Too good to be true. The love of my life,

"....too kind."

"Just telling the truth," his feet audibly stepped away. The butterflies in your chest were still exploding from his words. He made you feel safe, that this was Bob you were talking about. He'd never think you'd do something lewd or negative on purpose. Bob knew your intentions to be good. After all, he was your Bobby.

Just not in the way you want.

Your head cleared long enough to walk out the door, into the well lit bedroom. When he first made eye contact with you, you didn't even falter, simply smiling at him.

But Bob didn't say anything at first. Usually he'd make a teasing but well meaning comment about you taking so long. His thin pink lips parted, yet no words came through.

"Are you okay Bobby?"

The concern in your voice broke the trance. His features soften, his lips quirking into a half smile, "Yeah, I'm good. Just gonna shower and then head to bed."

Tension had left the room. Flopping down onto the bed, you scrolled through social media, watching all the videos and photos the squad had posted today.

"Uh, Sunshine?" You turned and lost your breath. Bob's hair was freshly washed, ends beginning to curl. A white shirt that was barely translucent and grey sweatpants that hung low on his lithe hips.

Bob Floyd had downright slutty hips.

"I don't think the bed is big enough for both of us to lay down."

Your brow crumpled in confusion, "Javy said this was a queen."

"Javy thinks anything that isn't a single is a Queen." Bob explained, not phased at all by this mistake.

Clearly it wasn't the first time. But you were still going to kill Javy Machado tomorrow morning.

"Here, if we both sleep on our sides, it'll be good."

"Like spooning?"

"Uh yeah," a hand came up to rub the back of his neck, "That's one way to think about it."

You supposed it was better than feeling his ass against yours, "Alright, well....come on in, the water's fine."

It took some time to figure out the arrangement. What was one supposed to do with their other hand? The final agreement consisted of your hips flushed against Bob's, his arm slung over your waist.

Zero awkwardness in the air. It felt....natural.

"Night Bobby."

"Night Sunshine."

Things were looking up. There was no way this would change your friendship or threaten to reveal your well kept secret. Sleep was well within your reach.

Then Bob moved. And kept moving. Due to his closeness, you felt every maneuver, no matter how subtle.

"Floyd, do you mind?"

His movements continued, as if he was trying to avoid your body while somehow simultaneously hang onto it.

A loud huff left your lips, "Stop wiggling around, I'm trying to sleep! Wait, what's that...."

Oh.

Your hips were flushed against his, your ass perfectly fitting the space formed by his thigh meeting his hip. Right against his hardened groin.

The sweatpants were thin. He didn't have anything underneath. Thanks to the flimsy fabric of your shorts, you could feel him greatly.

You were in bed with Bob Floyd. Bob Floyd was in bed with you, rocking an erection. You were being held by Bob Floyd, in bed. Bob Floyd had a huge cock, a grower.

Silence filled the room, tension thick enough to be cut with a butter knife. Neither one wanting to move, for fear of making it worse.

He let out a shaky breath. He developed a rhythm, almost imitating one sleeping.

You shifted, just enough for your thigh to rise, but subtle enough to play off as nothing.

His breath hitched.

Inch by inch, your hips began to gyrate, rubbing against his clothed cock.

"B-Bobby," you were panting, as if having run a marathon. His fingers sank into your hips, gripping the plush flesh as he flipped you onto your back, towering over you.

You moved to sit on your elbows, to raise yourself up to argue. From years of play fighting, he was fast as lightning, pinning your hands above your head.

Bob slowly lowered himself down until his nose brushed against your, his soft hair brushing your forehead.

"Twelve years." Was all he said, gritting through his teeth, squeezing your hands in hopes it would tethered him to Earth.

All that came out of your mouth was a hum of confusion. In the moonlit light, you searched for his eyes, trying to read them.

"Stuart Hendricks asked you to prom. You had been hoping all month he would ask you. Hell, I even helped him. Told him your favorite musical and which song to sing. I was excited for ya. And then you said yes to him and I wanted to punch him. I never had thought about fighting someone until then. Took me a week to realize why I was so angry."

Oh my God.

"Eight to ten years ago," you confessed. It was Bob's turn to knit his eyebrows together.

"Eight to ten?" He repeated, "Why is there a range?"

"I remember feeling....funny when you came back from boot camp. You had filled out a bit and had on those adorable military issued glasses. But it took me some time to accept what I was feeling," you explained.

How you found those glasses endearing was beyond Bob's understanding. But it didn't agitate him, it was just one of the many things he loved about you.

"That's a lot of time lost," his voice was barely a whisper.

You nodded, "Can we.....can we start making up for it?"

"Yes," he nodded, dropping his head lower, "one hundred percent yes."

His lips were like heaven. He molded his body to yours, chests flushed together, limbs tangled within one another. A hand that spanned the entirety of his neck, his thumb guiding your chin upwards so he could deeper explore your mouth.

"Heard you singing....and it just felt....felt like we were living together," he confessed in between kisses, "felt so right, like that's what it's supposed to be like."

Nodding feverishly, your hands found purchase in his thick hair. Tugging on the sun kissed locks, earning a groan from Bob that made your thighs clench.

"Can....can I touch you?" Always the gentlemen, your Bobby.

"As long as you don't stop."

"Wouldn't dream of it sunshine," his mouth latched onto your neck, leaving open mouth kisses along the side, teeth gently grazing your sensitive skin. A hand grabbed your leg, hitching it to wrap around his waist.

Bob Floyd was fucking heaven.

[artsninspo]

FORGIVELESS - VIII - I DON'T MIND COMPETITION, IT IS WHAT IT IS 📸

« previous part

➨ rio's library - good girl nbc

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

Pairing: Rio (Good Girls) X Reader

Word Count: ~2.3K

Warning: Mentions of alcohol, adult themes, mentions of cheating & divorce.

Summary: James gets sent divorce papers. Our fav's enjoy some quality time in Mexico. The reader gets to spend some time with Rio and his family. This one's a messy, feel good and 😬 😱 update.

VIII - I DON'T MIND COMPETITION, IT IS WHAT IT IS 📸

The curtains dance in the wind caused by the slight morning breeze. It’s quiet with the exception of the resort's wildlife. This kind of peace and serenity is out of this as unreal as your gorgeous accommodations. Smiling, you take a few photographs of the view from the living room window. The glow emanating from your skin isn’t of the woman with the cheating husband. Your growing tan with golden undertones is courtesy of one man and one man only - Rio. He’d scuttled out of bed almost an hour ago now. As silent as he had been you knew from the moment he stopped being the big spoon. Last night was a fantasy. A look into a life you’d never fathomed for yourself. Rio’s level of care and attention to detail was new. So was the reciprocity. Rio’s present, he’s attentive, encouraging and a man that takes great care of the people and things he loves. You find yourself still on cloud nine, like Rio had screwed you to a point of clarity. Taking your phone from the coffee table you head out on the balcony and into the fresh air. Your inbox is full of emails from James, they run the gamut of emotions from begging to get you back, to gaslighting and finally accusing you of the very thing that was the demise of your marriage - cheating. You really shouldn't respond but you do by attaching a PDF copy of the divorce papers you filled out before getting on the plane. You head onto social media and see notifications for several missed video calls from your soon to be ex-husband’s business account. You block that too, removing all evidence of him from your page. You then take a photo of your current view, the trees dancing in the wind and post to your story. The phone rings and you tense until you see the call is coming from Rio and smile.

“Hey”

“Hey mama” his smooth voice says on the other end.

“Thanks for leaving breakfast” you say.

“No problem, Mama,” Rio responds.

“Is everything alright with your suit?” you ask.

“Yeah but fuck Nick, man. He’s lucky I’m here” Rio mutters being sour. You snicker, turning from the view of the trees and beach on the horizon to the incredible interior of the villa. “Y/N, you're gonna make someone catch a case showing off all that ass in that little night dress” Rio adds and you turn back around eyes scanning the canopies and then the trail where you find Rio below, smiling with the phone to his ear.

“Lucky I have on clothes at all with how you left me” you remind him. The call ends and Rio heads up to the room. The way you made him feel was new to him. He’d never felt like this before, he’d never allowed himself too. Whenever he felt himself getting too comfortable he withdrew. No woman was ever worth the headache or the effort. Keeping things untethered was his forte and second nature to him. Not now. Not with you. More surprising than anything was the fact that Rio didn’t want to run. He couldn't fathom it. He didn’t want to take off without getting to know you properly. He wanted to hear your ideas and problems and provide solutions wherever he could.  He wanted to be someone dependable for you. Someone who makes you smile and keeps you happy. Unlocking the door to the room he smiles, thankful his silent feud with Nick led him to cashing out on the best suite on the resort, whereas Nick got the best view. Closing the door behind him Rio takes a few steps into the sunken living area to meet you on the balcony.

“Next time don't leave without saying goodbye” you mutter as he hugs you from behind placing kisses on your cheeks and neck.

“I just thought you needed your rest, you know I wore you out last night” Rio teases.

“Shut-up” you giggle holding his arms around you. The two of you stand there in silence looking out into the trees and then the faint view of the ocean in the distance. “Rio?” you ask after a moment of comfortable silence in his arms.

“Mhhm?” he questions, you feel the vibration as he pecks your cheek again..

“I really want to manage my expectations, after last night i’m ….” you pause and Rio pulls away you turn to face him and he looks to you suddenly guarded and all business. “I don’t really have any experience with ‘casual'. I guess what I'm saying is this feels intimate, it feels like more … if it's not you have to let me know so I can reel it in.” you confess. Brown eyes and an unreadable expression hold your gaze before a smirk plays at his lips.

“Before last night I wasn't going anywhere, after last night it was solidified. I only have experience with casual so youre gonna have to be patient with me babygirl and speak up whenever you feel a way or have questions” Rio responds level headed and cool as always. Your smile is genuine and he comes in for another kiss.

“So when we go back?” you ask.

“You can stay with me, my place is big enough for the two of us. If you want your own place that’s cool too but I’ma need a key” Rio says.

“That's fast” you remark.

“I work late mama, and I don't want to wake you up to get the door and let me in. If I have a key I can come in, shower and slide into bed with you; no issues” Rio says, already making plans to suit his growing appetite for your presence and touch.

“I”m afraid I’ll stop being a good time to you. I sent James divorce papers this morning. One of his friends' wives saw us at the airport yesterday. James knows and I can't imagine he’ll make it easy on me” you explain only to watch Rio’s demeanour harden. His mood change is eerie and his entire aura is intimidating. You’d step back if it wasn't for the railing at your back.

“James playing with what’s mine is not in his best interest” Rio’s words are as unplanned as the claim he’s laid on you. “He’s done mama, he’s a bitch and depending on his next moves it’s not looking too good. I haven't forgotten about him getting rough with you” Rio says in bad humour. “I don't want you afraid of anyone breathing alright, anyone messes with you and you tell me. I’ll take care of it” he asserts.

“What if it's you?” you ask, trying to lighten the mood.

“Tell my Granny, she’ll kick my ass” he smirks. “Now go get ready, there’ll be a lot of pictures” Rio smiles patting your butt as he leads you back into the room to start wedding prep.

The entire day feels like something out of your wildest dreams. There's been no major communication between the two of you, and still Rio has managed to make you feel important. His family has made you feel included and the happiness of the day's celebration is contagious. It’s hard to imagine how you've survived so long getting so little from a man who had promised to love you forever. You dance with Rio’s family and his Granny for what feels like hours laughing and smiling with them as Rio watches from his table. It’s clear to see that mister serious doesn’t dance. But the vibe of the reception venue is eerily familiar to that of his clubs. Needing to catch your breath you acquire a bottle of water and head over to him. He sends you a lazy smile draping his arm around you.

“Are you drunk or just a dancing machine?” he asks now, taking a few appetisers and placing them on a plate in front of you. It seemed like there was an infinite amount of food.

“Maybe a little tipsy” you confess taking a taquito. His family members had convinced you to take a few tequila shots and you'd obliged against your constitution. As a non drinker you’re already feeling it.

“Mhm” Rio smiles amused by how well you fit in.

“Tell me this if you can't stand your cousin, why did you help with the reception?” you ask. Rio is taken back and does a poor job of trying to hide the amusement in his eyes.

“I don't know what youre talking about,” he mumbles.

“Rio, all your venues are like this and you were gone too long for a suit fitting this morning” you confess looking up at him.

“It was an opportunity to partner with a hotel chain, very profitable for me. It doesn't have shit to do with Nick” he says with nonchalance. It’s a testament to his character and a green flag.

“Ok” you smirk not pushing him.

“It was for Marisol,” he smiles, breaking character.

“Can I get a picture?” the photographer says and Rio leans in. You do too, smiling before the blinding flash. “Gorgeous” the photographer smiles at you.

“Not too much” Rio asserts and you laugh as the photographer prints two polaroids from a belt on his hip.

“My bad man,” he smiles, walking away. You look at the photo and it's clear how well you and Rio fit. He’s not smiling in the picture, he's looking at you like he's a starving animal and you're his favourite meal. You crane your neck back and his lips find yours without instruction. It’s scary how in sync you are. Scary how comfortable this feels.

“You ready?” he asks.

“Sure, let me say goodbye” you sit upright.

“Mama, tonight we’re Irish,” he says, standing ready to leave.

“Don't do the Irish like that, just say you're rude” you smile taking his hand.

“My family is rude for hogging you all night knowing you're too polite to walk away.” he mumbles, making his escape with you in tow.

“Y/N, we never got a picture and I didnt get your socials” one of his cousins shouts coming over with the photographer. Turning you pose with the gorgeous girl, thanking the photographer as you exchange phones and contact information.

“Rio, how’d you snag her with your mean ass” she says sticking her tongue out at him.

“None of your business and I'll remember that the next time your SA calls from Chanel” Rio remarks, matching her energy. His cousin smiles giving you another hug.

“No he wont, he’s a big softie. But we should hang out once you're back home Y/N.” she says dismissing Rio.

You nod liking the idea of new friendship, “Sounds good.”

“Can I share your info with the others?” She asks and you nod. “And if he acts up, call me.” she says with a pointed finger and big energy. She reminds you of the rapper Lola Brooke. Looking at the contact information you see her name is Tia.

“I don’t think that’ll happen. Rio’s good to me” you smile.

“Open ended invitation” she shrugs.

“Goodnight Tia” Rio groans, turning you around.

“Love you” She laughs as you both walk away. Rio chuckles, shaking his head. He hadn't realised how good it felt to see you happy and unguarded. To see you smiling and laughing with the familial relation he reserved his love for was something else. They’d never been rude to anyone he brought around but they’d never taken to anyone like they'd taken to you. All he’d heard for the entirety of the day was that you were a keeper. It was like playing a broken record. He had no intentions of letting you go but his family talking to you was further confirmation. He checks his phone while in the shower to make sure things are running smoothly on the business front and goes onto social media to see Tia’s highlight reel of the day. He taps through seeing you in multiple shots and the last is a photo of the polaroid. Captioned: stop asking guys; she's taken by my cousin, you don’t want those problems. Smiling, Rio clicks on the tag, hitting follow himself.

Feeling right about you and the night he takes a polaroid out of his pocket, snapping a photo of it, tagging you and posting it to his story. 

Getting out of the shower you lotion your skin doing your night routine before checking your phone. You have several follow requests to accept, and do so quickly before checking your DM’s. You shake your head at a few attempts to get your attention from men and find a few from Tia. You repost two to your story and the bathroom door opens to Rio with a towel hanging low on his waist.

“Don’t look at me like that, I made plans for us tomorrow and you like to sleep in” he warns. Smiling, you roll your eyes heading to the bedroom. You put on another babydoll set and finish going through your socials when you find one from Rio. His handle is mysterious just like him, the page is mostly about business, reviews and write ups for his clubs, very few photographs of him. You check his story and see a photo of the two of you with you tagged along with a black heart. Your smile burns your cheeks as you hit the screen reposting it onto your own story. He’s quicker than you were and comes out of the shower in shorts, carrying a carafe of water with him. He has no idea what he’s in for with the mix of tequila and romantic gestures coursing through your body. Pulling back the plush sheets you straddle him and he smiles knowing he can't say no to you. You feel his manhood begin rising to attention and lean forward lowering to slowly kiss him. The kisses are so perfect, so slow and sensual that no further foreplay is required.

Tomorrow will have to wait, tonight you take care of your man.

Authors Note: Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and things being a lot lighter for Rio and the reader. How are we liking the developing relationship. What was your favourite part and what do you think happens next?

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TAGS: @meadows5 @wnbweasley @becauseimher @ariiaeltheedonn @woahthatshitfat @miniaturehideoutmentality @kokobells @ffenthusiastt @sowhatariyana @1xtral1983 @theegoddessofmelanin @fictionalreads

[sunderingstars]

So how do you think Zayne, Xavier and Rafayel would react when their s/o has a boy best friend, purely platonic but makes other people have second thoughts about their relationship.

Hehehe have a good day, write this if your okay with this 🪐

boy best friend (l&ds x reader) ♡

what the stars reveal: 1.2k, no gender signifiers used for reader, established relationship, ✨jealousy✨ but with a healthy dose of respect partner juice, surprisingly well-adjusted xav, half-headcanon half-prose, slight allusions to lore if you squint

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ hello !! thank you for giving me an excuse to write jealous rafayel >:3 the love & deepspace brainrot is so real for me right now, hope you enjoy !

— zayne is really good at hiding it, but his tiny mannerisms bleed through enough to make it clear he’s worried. it’s not that he has an issue with you having guy best friends, it’s just that everyone else seems to assume you two are together despite zayne standing right there. 

Zayne just stares. Blinks. Stares. Blinks again. You have to nudge him as a reminder that he is, in fact, in public, and that introductions are usually reciprocated by both parties. As soon as you make contact, it’s like a switch flips.

He breezes through his name, occupation, and a firm handshake (not too loose, not too tight), making it look so effortless that you almost forget he’d frozen like a statue as soon as he laid eyes on your best friend. Almost.

He does his best to hide it, but it’s clear something’s wrong. The slight clip to his voice, the furrow of his brow, the hesitance in his eyes when he looks at you — they may be imperceptible to the untrained eye, but all the telltale signs are there. It’s only a matter of time before you get an answer out of him.

“I’m an adult. I don’t worry about those kinds of things,” he says when you voice your suspicion a few days later.

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s true,” he continues when you shoot him a disbelieving look, shuffling the papers on his desk in an attempt to seem nonchalant, “I have absolutely no problem with him.”

You don’t say anything else, simply fix him with a deeper look and cross your arms. He doesn’t crack. It takes a whole five minutes of him pretending to go back to work before he sighs and makes a show of signing something.

“I may,” he says, setting the pen down gently, “Be slightly… somewhat…”

“Jealous?” you finish.

“No,” he says. “Annoyed.” Then, quickly, “Not at you. Or him. Just everyone else.”

You don’t quite understand. “Everyone else…?”

Now it’s Zayne’s turn to fix you with a look. “You can’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

Notice what? you want to ask, but refrain since you don’t want Zayne thinking you’re more oblivious than you already are. You rack your brain for something, anything that you can remember from that day, until…

“Oh,” you say. You do remember getting quite a few stares even before you and your friend coincidentally ran into Zayne. At first, you thought it was because you were still in uniform, but you realize now that it may have been for a completely different reason.

Zayne doesn’t respond, just taps his fingers against the wood of his desk, a nervous tic.

“Those were people who got the wrong idea,” you continue. Then, when his mouth dips into a frown, you move to stand beside him. “I don’t mind hunting them down and telling them just how wrong they were.”

At this, his frown begins to lift. “You don’t need to do that.”

“I would, though.”

He looks at you clearly for the first time in a few days, a hint of amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” you say. You maneuver yourself between him and the desk, falling into a half-straddle. “I’d go to their house, knock on the door, and tell them exactly how Dr. Zayne and I make out every Friday eveni—”

You feel his hand brush against your mouth, closing it.

“Alright, alright,” he interrupts with a small smile, “I get it. I’m secure enough in our relationship not to worry.” He pauses for a moment, then says, “Just don’t miss any checkups.”

“I’ll be right on time, as always,” you say, pressing a kiss to his temple. “And if anyone asks, i’ll tell them exactly who my boyfriend is.”

“Thank you.”

— xavier isn’t sure why you think he’d be annoyed, since your best friend seems nice enough. if anything, you’re the one that seems nervous, broaching the topic with him only to realize he hasn’t minded from the start.

Xavier looks a bit confused. His eyes shuffle between your face, his phone, and the twisting hands in your lap, a small, awkward smile beginning to spread on his face.

“Am I supposed to be… worried?” he asks.

“Are you?” you respond.

This prompts a light chuckle from your boyfriend. He shifts on the couch, turning until his arm rests on the back and his body is angled towards you. “Not really. What about you?”

You shrug. “Maybe a little.”

This seems to surprise Xavier, and you can’t blame him. You’re a bit surprised, too, given that most people’s roles would be flipped in this context.

Still, you can’t help it. Even though you’ve known your best friend for years — much longer than you’ve known Xavier — you don’t want your boyfriend to feel like he’s being overshadowed in his relationship with you. However, it currently seems like those worries are unfounded.

“Well, the way I see it…” Xavier leans in, brushing his lips against your temple, “… it’s wonderful you have so many people to share your life with.”

“You really think so?” you ask, just to make sure.

“Of course. Although…” He leans back, then, mid-afternoon light filtering through the window and washing his features soft gold. His eyes sharpen like sun rays piercing through a cloud. “… if he ever gives you trouble, let me know.”

— rafayel is very loud and clear about his jealousy, and you can count on him to become clingy after you hang out with your best friend. ultimately, you know he doesn’t mind nearly as much as he says he does, so you’re happy to indulge his want for attention if it means you can comfort him when he’s insecure.

Rafayel, as he is wont to do, makes his feelings known immediately and with such startling clarity that at first you think he’s joking.

“You’re serious?” you finally ask, the corners of your mouth tipping upwards into a smile while his stay fixed, pouting.

“Of course I am,” he says. He glares at the empty air beside you head as if it wronged him in a past life. “I mean, it’s fine and all, I guess, but we haven’t seen each other in four days. You haven’t even taken me plushie hunting. And yet…”

“And yet…?”

He crosses his arms and mumbles. 

“Use your words, Raf.”

He sighs. “You were with him all day. People were staring.”

“And so you’re jealous,” you deadpan, “because my best friend helped me with a case.”

“Yes!” he says, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I could’ve helped too! If you keep going around without me like that, you’ll… you’ll…” Something changes in his eyes, and he clicks his tongue, looking away. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

You know your boyfriend well enough by this point to grasp what he’s hinting at. Putting your own frustration aside, you lean in, the soft fabric of Rafayel’s shirt brushing against your fingertips. You plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I’m not going to forget you,” you say. Then, you find his arm, uncrossing it so you can take his pinky in yours. “Promise.”

Slowly, slightly, the tension in his shoulders begins to release. 

“Can we go plushie hunting?” he mumbles. Then, “Just the two of us?”

You smile. “Of course.”

🩵 bonus hc 🩵: i mentioned it in zayne’s part, but i like to think he drums his fingers against any available surface when he’s nervous or worried. between that, pushing up his glasses, and fiddling with his pen, you can read his mood based off of how much he messes with the objects in his vicinity.

(also also rafayel is so petty when he’s jealous, i know this one is basically canon but i just love it sm ♡)

© 2024, written by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[callmerainman]

Never Again | sinner!Adam x fem!sinner!Reader

PART 1 | PART 3

plot. You and Adam ended up sleeping together. Despite you two swearing that you would never have sex with each other, here you are in the same bed, incredulous. Shit like this happens, but you and Adam agree on never doing it again. Right?

word count. 2.2 k

tags. enemies to lovers, suggestive themes, mentions of sex, implied sexual content, making out, swearing, implied rough sex, Adam being nice, friends with benefits, Reader is a Royal Guard, Reader has wings

warnings! this fic is meant for adults, sex is not described in deep detail but mentions are heavy. please minors DNI!

"Fffuck" he says.

“Yeah, fuck”

So, you and Adam, the First Man you swore to guard to protect the Hotel, had sex.

You tighten a hand around the white sheets, pulled up to cover your bare chest. Your mouth is pressed in a straight line and your eyes are wide open, unable to blink. Black and (f/c) feathers are scattered all over the mattress, along with various articles of clothing. For a split second you look up and see that your bra landed high up on a chandelier in the middle of the room. A couple of pillows caught fire and were currently still smoking. Adam is laying on his back next to you, with the very same incredulous expression on his face. One hand is resting on his stomach, the other is outstretched over his head. A bare and hairy leg peeks out from under the covers. And the bed collapsed, by the way. It’s hard to decide where to look at, so you opt for the ceiling. Your cheeks still feel hot, your whole body too, it’s like you’ll never cool down. Even if it was exhausting. Perhaps the most marathon-level sex you ever had. And messy. And also…

“Okay” Adam begins “I know we never got along on anything but can we agree that this was-“

“The best sex we ever had?” you interrupt.

“Exactly”

Words couldn’t form in your mouth even if your life depended on it, so you just nod frantically. The very fact that not even Adam was able to produce a sentence is astounding. Usually he had the opposite problem. So you two just lay here, completely naked. Minutes later, which felt like hours, Adam talks again.

“And it means a lot from me, I had sex for billions of years”

“I like you more when you shut the fuck up”

“Okay got it”

You take some more minutes to recollect yourselves, your minds still foggy from the afterglow and dizzy. Your mouth, which was busy with Adam’s not so long ago, is painfully dry. You definitely need to rehydrate. You hear the sound of covers rustling, Adam finally moved. He rolls on his side, propping his head up with a bended arm. He’s trying so hard to look nonchalant.

“Just so you know, this was a one time thing, right? I still can’t stand the fuck out of your attitude”.

You scoff, rolling your eyes. You twist on your side too, facing the First Man. Still holding the covers up to not let him have another glimpse of your chest, with which he had his fun, you reciprocate his gaze.

“Of course, the fuck did you expect?”

Adam snorts, looking away “Nothing at all, things like this happen all the time. We just got a little carried away”

“Another thing we agree on, I guess…”

You both roll back to face the ceiling, your breaths steady and eyes closed. A crackling sound makes its ways to your ears, and you’re reminded that pillows are still burning. You drag a hand down your exhausted face.

“We need to ask Alastor for a new bed”

Adam shrugs. He sits up on the border of the bed, giving you his winged back. Your stomach drops a little when you notice the long scratches trailing down his bare skin, exactly in the valley between the base of his ebony wings.

“I’ll come up with something, it’s better if the others don’t know what happened here”

You nod in agreement “It’s not like they heard us, right? We’ve been discreet”

Downstairs, everybody absolutely heard everything. Every bedspring creaking, every bang of the headboard against the wall, every scream, exclamation, degrading nickname you both screamed to each other. The moment Alastor heard the first, undeniable sound of a wild intercourse, he stood up and bid everybody goodbye to pay a visit to Rosie in Cannibal Town. Husk chugged down two entire bottles of vodka to try to forget what he was hearing. He also had to hand Angel Dust money. Vaggie kept her hand on Nifty’s ears the whole time, maybe the only one who didn’t understand what was going on in Adam’s bedroom and that’s for the better. Charlie just stared at the floor wide eyed, her mouth morphed in an expression of pure uneasiness. Although she also lost the bet against Angel, Cherri tried to distract herself by bumping some music in her headphones to muffle the obscene sounds. Speaking of Angel Dust, he’s now sitting on the couch, his long legs crossed, merrily counting a plump stack of bills.

“Nah, I don’t think so” Adam brushes it off.

He scratches his messy hair, right between his horns. Then, he hunches forward to pick up his boxers from the floor. As he slides them on, you reach for a glass of water left on his nightstand.

“So, it was nice while it lasted, but never again” Adam says.

“Never again” you convene.

That night, you can’t sleep. It’s not the first time Adam hinders your relax, but this is unbearable. You keep rolling left and right on your bed, eyes squeezed shut but your mind still very much active and able to recreate every image your retinas registered that morning. Adam all over you, his wings twitching with every thrust, his voice raspy in your ears, your sweaty bodies brushing skin to skin. Then Adam under you, holding you by the hips with his hands, helplessly grinding against you. And his kisses, his oh-so-skilled fingers because he was a guitarist after all, and the names you called each other, your wings intertwined. You buried your face in your pillow and screamed in agony. You can’t do this. As if your body just gained free will, you get up. You only have a shirt and panties on, but for what you’re about do you decide to leave it that way. You turn the lights in your room on and check yourself quickly in the mirror, brushing your messy hair with your fingers just to be more presentable. Then you take a deep breath, and you rush towards the door. The moment you open it, someone is already on the other side.

Adam.

Eyes wide open in surprise, and his hand extended as if he was about to knock on your door. Your jaw is almost touching the floor right now, and you and Adam stand there for a couple of seconds just staring at each other. You break the silence.

“Were you thinking what I was thinking?” you ask.

“Yes” he blurts out, almost desperately.

In the matter of a second, your mouths are already interlocked again, light moans of satisfaction escaping from both of your lips. You feel Adam’s hands going down the back of your thighs, and you immediately oblige on what he’s suggesting. You jump and intertwine your legs around his waist, as he holds you up with his arms under your thighs. This time it’s Adam who kicks the door shut.

—

To set things straight, Alastor had to replace two beds. The second time unfolded exactly like the first one, with you and Adam promising that it would never happen again even if this is the best sex you both ever experienced. Becoming friends, or better, enemies with benefits wasn’t recommendable. You feared that Lucifer might not take you seriously ever again, and that would shatter you since you look up to him so much. And Adam didn’t want to admit that he was getting himself comfortable in the Hotel.

You fucked again obviously. A lot.

Adam started to question whether your hotel room was enchanted with some sort of sorcery to draw him towards it every night. Honestly you wondered the same about Adam’s room. Especially when you started finding yourself in his bed once, maybe twice a day. The situation is definitely out of control. So much that you and Adam stopped trying to rationalize it, and just came to terms with it. When you met Adam for the first time, not in a billion years you would have thought that things would go this way. He was insufferable, arrogant, a total dickhead. Still kinda is. But Adam’s also your…fuckbuddy? Plaything? Thing? The lines are blurred.

However, you’re good with it and that’s what matters. You don’t care about labels, especially not with someone like him. Who knows what stunts he could pull, you still don’t trust him completely. Something else that matters is that sex with him is astronomically good, but you make sure not to praise Adam too much to prevent boosting his already titanic ego. But Adam knows you like it. It’s in the way you cling to his shoulders, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips, your hand tugging his hair in the gap between his horns, your mouth full of sounds of pleasure and his name repeated like a chant. But you managed, more than often, to also turn things around. When it came to sex, Adam was surprisingly able to pipe his ego down a bit to let you just take control, pushing him down and doing all the rest. And in a snap of fingers he was the one hopelessly repeating your name. It was hard for him to restrain himself from dirty talking you, not that you wanted him. You couldn’t judge Adam because you did the same. The rule about no derogatory names was utterly thrown in the air along with any kind of rationality left in you. You liked telling him how much of a fucking asshole he was as you straddled his lap, “I hate you”’s were also a regular between you and Adam when you were close to each other’s faces as you pulled his horns. All of this, to you, feels as if you really just discovered now what sex is, despite all your past experiences.

At first, aftercare wasn’t really a thing. You or Adam, depending on where you were fucking, would just get up and go to bed in your respective rooms. You had nothing else to share after reaching your all time high. You believed that it was the way it ought to be, it’s not like he was your boyfriend or something. Then, one time, you stayed.

—

A bead of sweat running down his temple, Adam rhythmically breaths in and out. That was back-breaking. Awesome as always though. You, on the other hand, are lying down on your stomach, your wings peeping out the sheets. A relaxed smile extended on your face, you close your eyes with your chin resting on your crossed arms.

“Shit, you almost ignited my fuckin’ nuts, fire tits” Adam slurs, his breathing still irregular.

You open one eye, looking at him “You hot?”

“As always” he says with a shit-eating grin, but goes “OW” as soon as you punch his shoulder.

“I mean, duh? We’re in fucking Hell, Heaven was a bit cooler. In every sense” he adds.

“Mh, you’ll get used to it. To be honest, I find your room too chilly”.

Adam pulls himself up in a sitting position, and turns his head to look at you. Your face still plunged in your arms, he could only see your hair spread all over your naked back. But the spots of visible skin were all punctuated in goosebumps, your wings slightly puffed up. He bit the inside of his right cheek.

“You cold?” he asks, unsure.

“As always” you chuckle, mocking him.

Adam rolls his eyes. Then, you hear the familiar sound of sheets moving under Adam’s body, and the mattress bouncing a little meaning that he just got up.

“Take this”

You feel something land on your back, your eyes springing open. You roll around, sheets sliding down from your chest. You notice something stuck hanging on the tip of your left wing, a t-shirt. You take it in your hands, a bit startled. Was Adam being nice?

“Uh…thanks” you say.

Adam mumbles a “Whatever” before getting back to bed.

You pull the shirt down your naked torso, and you check the print on it. A genuine smile forms on your lips.

“You like Limp Bizkit?"

Adam almost chokes on the milkshake he was slurping. He always had one on his nightstand for after sex, his equivalent to a cigarette. He turns around and looks at you with a spontaneous grin of his own.

“You know Limp Bizkit?!” he exclaims.

“Uh, what if I said that Fred Durst signed my tits at Woodstock?” you reply confidently.

Adam’s hands fly up to his head, plunging them in his hair “There’s no way! You’re so fuckin’ lucky! Man I wish Fred Durst signed my tits-no wait a sec”

“One of the best days of my life” you sigh “I miss concerts”.

“Ugh, what would I give to see a human concert. Earth is a shitty dump truck but holy fuck if they have the best music. But not a single artist ends up in Heaven”

You chuckle “I didn’t expect you to be into music this much"

“You literally asked me about my band and you saw my electric guitar getting fixed a thousand times!”

“I thought that was just an act to pick up chicks”

“Not an act but yeah that’s also a reason”

After rolling your eyes in annoyance, you find yourself asking him which other bands he also liked. And, to your surprise, you and Adam had the exact same taste. He excitingly asks you about the concerts you’ve been to, and you tell him all your crazy stories about festivals and concerts. None of you leaves tonight. Adam lies in bed next to you, daydreaming about music, rock or metal. You two scoot closer and closer, your wings touching, chatting and blabbering about everything, not only music, with permanent grins that hurt your cheeks. None of you can help it. And Adam ends up holding you in his arms, french kissing you but lazily and gently, until you two fall asleep. It felt good.

Adam, felt good.

[sillybruja]

roasting your moon sign pt 1. (Aries - Gemini) p.s. this one's gonna hurt your wittle feelings 🥲

Aries Moon

OH MY GOD. SHUUUUUUT UPPP. Seriously, you don't have an off button and talking to you is very frustrating. It's kind of like you jut like hearing yourself talk, which is fine, but the rest of us are suffering. And Holy lack of emotional regulation! When you are upset, you are really upset, eh? Seriously, you cannot control your emotional reactions even if you tried your hardest. If you feel triggered, you have to let the whole room hear about it ���And one more thing -- why do you think speaking louder makes your argument valid? It's kind of like listening to a toddler start screaming because crying was not getting their mom's attention good enough. It's fine to have emotional outbursts once in a while, but try to remember you're an adult, not a six-year-old. Communication takes more than scream-crying until you are heard / get your way. Btw, y'all are some of the most delulu people out there! It's like, everyday is a rollercoaster for you emotionally and you kidnapped the rest of us to have to suffer with you. Yeah, that's right, you can be insufferable and the people around you feel it. Are you even aware of that, though? Or are you more focused on creating a narrative that makes you the victim? Your lack of impulse control is a whole other thing. We get that you react first and think last, but to have the audacity to blame others for your decisions/actions is wild. Oh you punched a wall? No, that person didn't make you do that, you did that. Oh, you're insecure so you acted out of character? No actually, it's not their fault because they are secure with themselves. It's all on you. Guess what? Accountability is not the same as being held at g*npoint. You will not die. You will not wither away. You are actually wrong a lot and that's fine, but you don't have to be such a tool about taking responsibility. It gives everyone in your life the ick, and people are probably tired of walking on egg shells around you. 🤷‍♀️

Moon in 1st House:

Okay, drama Queen/King!🙄😅Besides the fact that you literally wear your heart on your sleeve, you are also so dramatic and for what, special effect? Seriously, you emotionally respond to things with the same voracity and urgency as you would an actual emergency. You can literally stub your toe and have a meltdown over it, saying that was your "13th reason" likeee y'all are D R A M A T IC and because I also have this placement, I know it's because it actually feels really dramatic but tbh it's not that deep. You just feel too deeply which is fine but guess what? You're still responsible for your emotions, no one else is. You sacrifice your power too often looking for acceptance and love, and then expect the people who you give said power, to reciprocate the same energy but they never do because what you are really expecting from them is you and that's pretty messed up tbh. You gotta let people be! your attachment issues are showing. BTW, being the sacrificial lamb in every situation does not actually gain you aura points, it just makes it obvious that you lack boundaries. The People around you take advantage of you because 9/10 times, you have made it pretty clear very early on that taking advantage of your kindness can be easy to do. Its insane that people have projected on you your whole life, and yet, you still can't detect when its happening. People are not mean to you because they hate you lol but the fact that you make everything about yourself makes it even easier for these people to project their problems onto you. Why wouldn't they? You are all consuming, and you take on the responsibility of everyone's actions, making yourself a stomping ground for ab*se. Your problem is, you are looking to find you in everyone and you will constantly be disappointed because that's something you will not find. Learn to be comfortable with others showing you how they feel, and accept it for what it is instead of for what you want it to be. Your scope of other's emotions needs work -- there's a whole universe outside of your own mind. You gotta learn to consider others emotional needs and try to walk in the shoes of other people once in a while and you will see that not everything is not in relation, caused by, or about you. Also, you have the same emotional regulation as a toddler sometimes. Stop making your problems, everyone's problems. Go to therapy.

Taurus Moon

OKAAAAAY, SLOTH. How do you expect to have the rich bitch bougee life you keep creating pinterest boards about if you won't even get off the couch and take small steps to reach those goals? Queen of "manifestation", all things "come to me naturally". Can we cut the bs and call a spade, a spade? You are lazy. You know deep deep down that you have the gift of the moon as your placement's exalted, but you have proven so many times that you prefer comfort over work. You're sitting there, waiting for the universe to deliver all the things you want in life, but your uninspired, bland, lazy ass won't even break a sweat for half of what you want in this world. YOU are the reason you do not seem to accomplish as much as you want to, because you do not challenge yourself. Do you feel incapable? I would if I'd rather live in repetitive and tired routines instead of challenging myself to grow. Speaking of growth.... do you even know what that is? Or are you still holding the same opinions of people that you had in middle school? Guess what, people grow and change... it is time to catch up! Why are you more comfortable with clinging onto the past, especially onto an old way of thinking? How is that actively helping your life? Be so for real. You cling & obsess over the past because its easier to revictimize yourself & build resentment than it is to take responsibility and make changes. Why is it more comfortable being stubbornly wrong, instead of owning up to your ways?

Moon in 2nd House

STAY OUT OF MY WALLET & GET A JOB! Seriously -- for someone who needs & craves financial stability, you sure will do a whole lot of nothing to get it. It's so weird because you manage to do absolutely nothing, and the people around you end up picking up your tab. What's it like being the community leech? And another thing... why is it that you feel you only have value when the 'yes men' around you over compliment you, or give you attention? Why is it that you cannot regulate your sense of self worth, but instead need to feed your self-esteem through manipulation, clinginess, and insecurity? Your relationships are probably prone to being unstable because of this. You are too much. Your expectations are too much, and they do not even match what you are willing to give back. You can't expect other people to pour from an empty cup just because You can't seem to fill your own. Your erratic self-esteem issues have an impact on your closest loved ones but your mindset is in the gutter because of how harshly you cling onto old mindsets and negative beliefs. Your greediness is not justified, no matter how much you have been hurt. You seem to never take your pain out in a healthy way, or on the person who actually inflicted the pain. If people come too close, you automatically assume there's alternative motives, even if there's no reason to think that. You act more like an 8H moon in your lowest vibration, and ironically enough, you are "triggered" and angry with other people who act this way. Your self-awareness is probably is as little as your confidence because you seem to live in your own bubble, and cannot understand how your own projections you put on other people are hurtful and make you look very weak. Your people pleasing tendencies will never grant you the stability you seek and until you take accountability, responsibility, and action to secure the life/lifestyle you want for yourself, you will always think shrinking yourself through people pleasing equals safety. But ya know, BE DELULU.

Gemini Moon

OHMYGOD CAN YOU SHUTTHEFUCKUP?! Yes, your friends do think you are annoying as fuck. It's because you never know when to STFU. And the worst part? It's not like you don't know you talk a lot... you do. you know you can dominate a conversation like no other. You are aware of the snotty asshole you sound like when you articulate and use word play to your advantage, and you don't care lol. If you're not that person, you're the opposite - you're weird af, you still never shut up, you have weird af obsessions, collections, and stories, and chances are you're easily forgotten about 😅 You share random facts with your friends all the time and at first it was really funny but because you never know when to stop, your friends are over it. When you talk, they sigh. It's because being your friend is exhausting. It's always the GEMINI MOON SHOW!!!! and you never give them (or anyone) the space to express themselves. You think you know what everyone wants and because you are lowkey controlling, you make decisions for others -- can you be any fuckin' worse? No wonder people don't really like hanging out with you lol. By the way, you are so dense. For being a mercury ruled moon, you would think you'd be better at reading people and yet, you constantly miss the red flags in others. What's it like being a door mat? It's like you know they hurt you, you know they are sus, and you don't care. LOL btw y'all are really big cry babies and so sensitive sometimes. You'd think that being a gemini moon would make you easy going, but you walk around and act like you have a stick up your ass. Your submissive nature is 10000% your decision but you have this talent of blaming other people for why you have codependency issues, let's call you the King/Queen of Projection. You act out, you push people away, you start fights and for what? For people to pay attention to you? lol that's sad. Why do you feel you are only worthy of getting attention when there's controversy? When you act out of character? Is it because you feel like no one cares about what you have to say unless you're being the worst version of yourself? Is that why you are so skilled at wearing masks with people? Maybe if you spent more time figuring your shit out, spending more time with yourself, and less time giving a fuck about others, you'd be able to heal the identity you shattered trying to morph into whatever everyone else wanted you to be. Basically, FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE SO YOU CAN STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO SECURE PEOPLE.

Moon in 3H

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! You wishy-washy bitch you lol. (pls don't take this seriously this is a roast ok? ily) But fr, who even are you? Because you switch up your entire personality depending on the group of people you're around. You think no one notices this but I promise you they do and they're tired of your shit. A lot of people probably find you unreliable because you also seriously lie...over dumb things too? Like, who lies about what they had for breakfast? Pfft. This need to maintain a certain level of "mystery" is actually kinda cringe because you are actually so transparent. Also, you do realize you cause a lot of your own problems, right? No one can drive people away better than you can, huh? :) Your need for banter and excitement is all fun and games until it became really fucking annoying. People do not like to constantly be poked and picked at and tested. Especially if you think you're some prize to win over. Speaking of being some prize... your ego though? It's like to feel intelligently superior, your say a whole lot of nothing polished in purple prose to humiliate others. Imagine being so insecure with yourself that you feel the need to verbally tear down the ones who are just plain doing better than you in life. Your problem is that you spend so much time focusing on the people around you, wanting to gain their approval, wanting to be the center of attention, that you actually end up losing sight of your identity and you become this annoying asshole 😅🙈 By the way, you definitely do talk soooo much shit about people, and yes it is so unnecessary. MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED YAPPIN YOUR TRAP ABOUT PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WOULDN'T ALWAYS LEAVE YOU or fantasize about leaving you for your much hotter family member, sibling, or friend 🤭

Pt. 2-4 are coming x

[deadthingposting]

Kili and fili joining the fellowship it's a hilarious idea for multiple reasons that have nothing to do with merry and pippin specifically (they would be chaos together but let's focus on all the other possibilities)

-Fili and Boromir bonding over the shared eldest sibling experience

-the inherently awkwardness of Legolas and Kili being together in a quest

-the awkwardness being made considerably worse by Aragorn talking about arwen making Kili go on a rant about his perfect good elven lady wife Tauriel

-they join Aragorn and Boromir in the " I am aware of the fact that the hobbits are adults but this will not stop me from calling them my children" club

-Them being overprotective with frodo

-gimli being not very happy by having his elders with him in this quest because he secretly just wanted a time to be badass and now have to endure them still acting like he is a dwarfling

-kili wants to make a joke when gimli only asks Galadriel for a strand of hair but he doesn't when he realizes how happy he is with his gift of the lady

-I don't think they would have problems with the horses in Rohan and one of them would offer to carry gimli

-gimli ignoring the offer and getting on Arod with Legolas

-they slowly realizing that "oh shit is gimli in love with the elf? "

-followed by also realizing it's probably reciprocate

-followed by either they playing matchmaker or attempt princeslaying

[xjulixred45x]

Hi!

How would Lucifer, Mephisto, Satan, and Shiro react to a half demon who's considerably younger than them crushing on them? Maybe their relationship too? 👉🏻👈🏻

(age difference like if Rin and Yukio were adults, reader is the same age as them)

First of all, i don't like that kind of age differences, but i can do the crushing Headcanons(this would be kind of short for the amount of characters). Thanks for the Request

Half demon Reader x Lucifer/Mephisto Pheles/Satan/ Shiro Fujimoto: Crush and relationship

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: neutral

Warnings: BIG BIG SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA!!!!!(the only one who dosen't have it is Mephisto 😅), Illuminati, Satan is honestly a LOT of warnings himself, some posessive/overprotective behavior, lots of fluff, Reader is corresponded:)

Mephisto Pheles

**sigh** THIS MENACE--

We all know that Mephisto is someone arrogant and pompous, that doesn't change even if he is interested in someone aka reader.

The fact that the reader is half-demon only helps to increase his curiosity towards them and definitely broadens his interest further.

Don't worry, I've dealt with other hybrids before, and reader is definitely the friendliest and prettiest of all ;)

Definitely when that happens he becomes quite clingy and does not hide it in the slightest, either with displays of physical affection such as hugs to say hello, following them in his dog form, saying things that KNOW they are interested in, etc.

In general he is playing to WIN so to speak.

so when he finds out that it is reciprocated, he is quite arrogant about it (he doesn't want to admit that he is partly relieved).

In general a relationship with Mephisto is quite extravagant.

Mephisto IS already flamboyant, but he's surprisingly good at listening to what his partner has to say.

ESPECIALLY if it has to do with humans, and he honestly doesn't understand some of the social norms that cause problems for the reader. But he is willing to listen.

after all you can 1- spend time with your partner and 2- know more about humans, Two for One!

HE GAVE READER GERMAN NICKNAMES, CAN YOU TAKE THIS HEADCANON OUT OF MY COLD, DEAD HANDS.

I think the fact that Reader is half-demon would help him see them as an equal more easily, but he is definitely still VERY protective of them, since at the end of the day they are much weaker than him.

MANY GIFTS, seriously, and sometimes they are strange gifts or that look like GENUINE antiques that reminded the reader and no, he is not saying where he got them from.

He enjoys making his partner angry in a harmless way, even with the demonic part, for him he is like an angry kitten, is adorable for him.

They would probably watch the students' torture training together:) I hope you have a strong stomach.

Mephisto can and DOES demand to be held and pampered in his dog form, I don't make the rules.

He is still as clingy as the first day, but amplified, of all of them, he is the least afraid of PDA, hugs, kisses, holding hands/arms, he doesn't care, he just wants to have his hands on your partner in some way.

this man would randomly bite his partner like a cat CHANGE MY MIND.

All in all, not a bad match if you think about it.

Lucifer

He's not surprised, like, at ALL.

Let's say that for this reader is part of the Illuminati or the hybrids that work with Lucifer, because I don't think another type of case would work very well.

Probably this + the reader's attitude was what caught Lucifer's attention in the first place (how someone can support the Illuminati but have a certain... innocence as far as possible)

At first Lucifer justifies his sudden interest by saying he has to make sure Reader isn't a spy, but he quickly realizes that, well, he really cares about Reader in other ways.

Maybe because they see him as a living being and not just the idealized (cult) leader of the Illuminati, or because they genuinely care about him without reaching fanaticism, let's say that Lucifer has good reasons. so he gives in quite easily to falling in love.

especially because the reader is half-demon, which makes him not a hypocrite and he likes them even more (even if they had been a normal human, he would continue with his particular interest).

Let's say that Lucifer is quite...direct, but at the same time quite clumsy because he doesn't understand social rules(like me)

For example, he will constantly demand the reader's presence with him, regardless of whether they are good or the worst cadet ever seen, he wants them close.

When the reader confesses (because Lucifer lets it happen, out of satisfaction) Lucifer is already prepared for that.

He's a control freak, what did you expect? Hell, he probably even already knew when reader was already in love by their body language or sudden changes in behavior. It's predictable but enjoyable for him.

A relationship with Lucifer is structured and somewhat rigid, but at the same time do not doubt that he takes advantage of every occasion to keep his partner close.

He likes physical contact, especially on days when he can't move or is particularly sore. It's like a psychological painkiller for him.

Being Lucifer's partner also implies a lot of security, the reader will not set foot outside without at least Homare and three cadets.

Surprisingly good at words of affirmation, although hey, what do you expect from a cult leader? The difference is that no matter how much he says everything in a monotone, he really means everything he says.

very "shows don't tell" style

I think his partner would be the ONLY PERSON he vents to about everything that happens in the story, the incompetence of certain doctors, Shima's attitude, ranting about humans, etc.

one of the few moments where he leaves his mask (lol) and says what he REALLY thinks.

In general it's cute, but definitely a little more isolated than Mephisto (although ideal if you're antisocial like him xd)

Shiro Fujimoto

Smug motherfucker--

Well, not really, I think at first he would have difficulty accepting 1- that he is interested in a hybrid and 2- that they like that hybrid too. especially the last.

We already know how stubborn he is (especially when he's young), and with his oath to exorcise as many demons as possible, I can't help but think that at first that included the reader too😅

However, when he started interacting with them, when they gave him attention without having to be an idiot, when they said nice things to him that they really meant it...

He is in denial at first, STRONG.

But rather than treating them badly, he simply lets things be, friendly, he thinks it is better not to hang out with them beyond that.

He doesn't think he's in the place to be with someone that nice.

so when they tell him that the reader likes it, he doesn't believe it at all. He sees it as a joke.

but...if READER were the one to tell him...

The man dies there and here.

You just can't believe it! but it's true! wow!

Speaking of young Shiro, he's definitely arrogant and moody, but he's in a considerably better mood if he goes on a mission/is with his partner.

Shiro without a partner nearby: >:(

Shiro with partner nearby: :^

He definitely doesn't hesitate to defend his partner's honor if necessary, and look, he makes jokes from time to time about being half-demon, but 1- he doesn't mean it and 2- only HE can do it >: (get ready to take a beating

Once he gets used to it, he's pretty good with PDA, not a lot, but he likes it to some extent, especially on outings.

I would say that one of Shiro's greatest displays of affection would be to make his partner laugh (especially once he grows up), either with the aforementioned jokes, or by exaggerating his expressions to get a laugh from them. likes.

He definitely likes to annoy a LOT, it's his other main love language (along with quality time and MAYBE coocking once he learns, maybe even coocking togheter and trow heach others the breakfast? Who knows), if he spends time with Reader, half of that time they're annoying each other and enjoying EVERY MOMENT.

After Yuri, he is a bit paranoid, but he tries VERY HARD to not let it affect the relationship, after all, the reader is not Yuri.

He will have his own demons to deal with, but his partner encourages him A LOT to improve. It's better than it seems for sure.

That's it, it's a PACKAGE once he has the twins, but honestly? I think we all would be even more into with it ;)

Satan

This depends if we talk when he was just "born" or in the pseudo actual time.

Okay, this depends a little on whether we're talking about when he was just "born" or if we're talking about pseudo-current times.

Young Satan is definitely more innocent in his interest but is still somewhat brutal and very direct (after all, he acts like a VERY big and VERY lethal 5 year old).

The best way to realize if a human likes you is the same as what happened with Yuri, that is, he is much more docile in the presence of the reader, he throws tantrums so that they are with him, etc.

He doesn't even consider the possibility that they don't want him, whether out of early arrogance or a genuine innocence of not thinking ahead.

Current pseudo Satan, on the other hand, is a little more aggressive with his advances.

Like, as soon as he realizes that he is attracted to an inferior hybrid (although he passes that stage very quickly) he is basically DELCARING that he belongs to the other demons (although not to the reader, because for him, that is already a fact).

by far the most jealous of all, although at least after, um, some experience (ahemYURIejmejm) he knows how to better hide his most unpleasant facets.

That doesn't mean they aren't there, but I guess if the reader had a crush on Satan of all beings in the first place it's because they can handle that shit/they like it.

Being reciprocated is definitely a bust to his already monstrous HUGE ego, because it only confirms that he was right in what he did, possessive behaviors and all.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for his partner, after all they are the only being of value of all humans and hybrids (even demons).

Satan is quite angry and proud, so he expects the reader to receive the same kind of reverence and fear as him (okay, not as much, but close to that).

Needless to say, he's quite paranoid and overprotective :), let alone why.

I think he's one of those demons who is fine with doing absolutely nothing with his partner and considers it quality time, whether it's being silent, reader playing with his hair, etc. knowing that they don't abandon him is enough.

Honestly, he's like a yandere in many ways, only at least now he's more aware of the limits of humans/demons and he's DEFINITELY not willing to lose another partner or have this partner leave him, ever. no again.

Did I mention that he has abandonment issues?

This demon NEEDS words of affirmation, I just know it.

In general, even with all the redflags (there are not a few), he loves as much as he can love.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Another done? Baby i'm ON FIRE(literally, collage is killing me:,D but i'll try to do all the Requests i can before My exams and My driving tests, wish me luck!)

[heavyhitterheaux]

maybe “i gave up everything for you!” Sentence with Jack? I’m a sucker for anything arguing or angst. Love your writing!!!

First off, thank you my love. I appreciate you so much for that. 🥹💕

This was when they were at odds after the whole Anitta thing and Jack was basically being an asshole towards her and this takes place after She Gets the Last Word Part 3.

"So, how long are you going to ignore me, Jackman?" You asked as he was scrolling through his phone. He didn't even send you as much as a glance before he responded.

"No one is ignoring you."

"But you aren't talking to me either. I already apologized for breaking my promise towards you so what is the problem?"

"I just don't have anything to say to you right now."

"And why is that? Inquiring minds would like to know."

"This is about to turn into a damn argument and I can see it from a mile away. I am not feeding into it either."

"Literally no one is arguing. All I did was ask you a question."

Jack threw his phone to the side to finally look up at you.

"And I gave you an answer. Problem is it's not the answer you want, but that's not my fucking problem."

"You don't have to be an asshole towards me because I didn't do anything to you." You muttered while crossing your arms and all Jack did was scoff.

"You sure about that?"

"What the fuck are you on? It's almost as if you like her disrespecting me and our marriage since you have not one time told her off and put her in her place. And you want to get mad when I actually do whoop her ass? Make it make sense. We are supposed to protect each other and all you've been doing is leaving me out to dry."

"A bit fucking dramatic don't you think?"

"How am I being dramatic when I'm speaking facts? I'm convinced you don't love me anymore."

"You cannot be serious. So now you don't think I love you?"

"That's what I said isn't it?" You could feel your eyes watering but were determined not to let them fall.

"Y/N, cut the bullshit and I mean seriously. We're married. I take care of you and get you anything you want. Let's be serious, if I didn't want you, I would have dropped you a long time ago."

"Who are you and what have you done to my husband who actually gave a fuck about me and about my feelings? I don't know what happened, but ever since earlier this year we have not been on the same page. I gave up everything for you! Anything that you need or want, I would do it for you. Even me trying to further my own career and I still put your ass first!"

"And who the fuck told you to do that, huh? Because I sure didn't."

"Because we're MARRIED the last time I checked! What do you even mean!? Didn't we exchange vows? Or were you not paying attention during that part? All I want for you is to see you succeed but I can tell it's not reciprocated."

"You are literally being dramatic for no reason. I love you and want to see you succeed. Now is that all?"

"You…." You stopped yourself and simply shook your head before continuing.

"You are so fucking ungrateful that it's ridiculous and this is EXACTLY what I didn't want to happen. You got a little bit of success and it's gone to your big ass head. You might be 6'3 but baby I swear I will bring you down to my height if you don't stop disrespecting me and this marriage."

"As always, resorting to violence because that's all you know how to do. You're a fucking adult so act like it."

"And when I do, my husband ignores me. Do me a favor and do not sleep in the same bed as me."

"I'll do you one better because I have a flight to catch later tonight so you don't have to worry about that. Maybe that will give you some time while I'm gone to grow the fuck up."

[sawyerconfort]

i could be your girl, but would you love me if i ruled the world? | faith lehane x fem!reader

I'M BACK!

It's been so long, isn't it?

Anyway, life got so busy I couldn't even breathe this year.

But it's October, it's Halloween and it's BTVS SEASON!

Honestly, I've been obsessed with all the Buffyverse these days, and, honestly, I couldn't end Halloween and October without writing something about Faith.

So, that's why this blog is back, for one day.

No, requests are still closed. Sorry!

ENJOY!

(I just wanted to thank the two edits of Faith from Tik Tok that I saw with this song and that gave me the idea for this oneshot, last. Enjoy now!)

-----------------------

PROMPT: Nothing much, just you, a complete, bitter, hard-hearted, closed-minded slob falling in love with another bitter, hard-hearted, closed-minded slob - and just a little bit of a sense of humor.

***

Ah, the Bronze.

You went there whenever you needed to clear your head. Sunnydale was the calmest town in the world to live in, especially when you were a teenager in the throes of puberty and adrenaline, looking for nothing more than peace and quiet.

You went to the Bronze when you needed to breathe, which was almost always, even in a small and peaceful town like Sunnydale.

Aside from the problems with your parents, your house that seemed too small for someone as big as you, and your terrible grades in school, everything was going pretty well. You intimidated people enough, even in the small and cramped bar, to keep them far enough away from you, and you just looked for a table away from the crowd of colors and couples and smells and sensations to light a cigarette and put your feet up.

"A Mai Tai, Ricky, please," you would say, almost always, swearing that it would be your first and only glass until Ricky came with two, three more.

And then you lit a cigarette before heading home. And you avoided looking at the dance floor, or standing in line for the bathroom because you knew there were women and men looking right at you.

And you hated to reciprocate. You hated to think about the possibility of winning someone's heart in one night, and vice versa.

It was like that every night.

Except that one.

***

That story about vampires, dangerous creatures, vampire Slayers, it was all a lie. It couldn't be true. Adults believed it because it suited them, because they were legends spread from generation to generation.

But you were already a teenager. You were too old to even believe in Santa Claus, why believe in bloodsucking monsters that went after people? And in a girl who could, in fact, kill them all and save the day for at least… a hundred years?

It didn't make any sense. Those things didn't exist. At least, they shouldn't have.

And if they did, well, they didn't interfere with your quiet nighttime routine. Going to Bronze. Drinking a Mai Tai. Smoking like a troubled girl. It was the best thing in the world. No vampire could stop that.

But she could. And you just didn't know it when you noticed her doing her best on the dance floor, wrapping her arms around one of the girls sitting down and moving her hands awkwardly, all while drinking something you couldn't make out.

When you wrapped your arm around the chair and put the straw in your mouth to suck the last drop of Mai Tai, she looked at you. And her eyes kind of took you over completely, as if it were an electronic song with a strong beat that made your ears throb. Too bad it was only for two seconds. Because you looked away.

Your agreements with yourself were always the same. Don't get carried away, don't get attached, don't kill yourself. Just rebel, and live in the moment.

And you would do that, if it weren't for those curious eyes, from across the dance floor. Small, brown, with no sign of eyeliner. She wasn't a rebel, but that kind of troubled girl…

That style also took you over completely. You had to admit that the moment you noticed that little black blouse showing parts of her waist against the light and that shiny belt, she won your heart completely. Or almost completely.

Because you couldn't let yourself get carried away. First deal.

It was kind of impossible, because she was practically crawling towards you. As if your gaze had taken her in completely, too. She came in stealthy steps, while you tried to decide if she looked like a snake, a wolf or a fox in search of prey.

But since it was her nature to do that, the girl simply walked right past the table where you were and started chatting with a couple at the other table, next to yours, all the while with the glass swinging in her hand. A Mai Tai. Exactly like yours.

It wasn't on purpose. It was just a coincidence because you had just arrived. And you hadn't seen each other yet. She also didn't seem to be stalking you or anything like that, because, in truth, when your eyes met for the first time, the look she gave you was pure curiosity, and, unless she knew how to hide it well, you had never run into each other, not even in a small and peaceful town like Sunnydale.

You would know if she was stalking you. And maybe she was stalking you now, pretending to be sly, but not before.

Her gaze drifted to you when the two teenagers at the next table frowned at her exaggerated gestures, and you noticed that those eyes were browner than usual. And that you clearly weren't prepared for them.

"Drinking twin," she said innocently, looking down at her half-empty glass. There was a huskiness in her voice that you weren't prepared for either. Not that you expected a high-pitched, bad-girl-dressed preppy girl, but… whatever. Enough thinking about what you expected.

"Is that how you usually start a conversation with someone?" you asked, obviously making fun. And according to her personality, which you had built up in your head, she wouldn't be offended. And she wasn't.

She just laughed, muffled. And her white teeth took your breath away when they showed. Because she had a damn beautiful smile.

"You got me there," she whispered, raising her glass, but she didn't seem surprised, and she was still laughing. "I don't know how to start a conversation with someone, it's true. But in my defense, I also didn't know there was a formula, an instruction manual for starting a conversation with someone…"

"There isn't," you replied shortly. "And I'm not complaining. I was just surprised that you…"

You shrugged. Wow, what the hell happened to your train of thought just now?

"Okay, I get it. It's okay. I really think that was a stupid conversation starter, if you ask me…", she said, catching you off guard again. With her fingers running along the edge of the chair next to you, she looked at you curiously, pulling the chair back. "Can I?"

One of those classic cases where you couldn't say no. It would be too rude. And you were tough, but not to that extent. A little company wouldn't hurt. For one night.

Don't get attached. Rule number two. Shit.

Nodding, you lowered your head and sucked the rest of your Mai Tai, while she obviously didn't wait for a full answer and sat down next to you, positioning the glass so that it was practically glued to yours, or at least in the same field of vision.

"So, are you going to at least let me ask your name or are you going to say that my attempt at conversation is equally stupid too?", she asked, straight and direct, exactly as you imagined. And as you didn't expect.

"It's (Y\N). Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude if it did," you said, your voice low. She laughed in response, and shook her head. "And yours? Can I at least ask?"

"Lehane. Faith Lehane," she said, all enigmatic, and obviously, you knew it was supposed to make you really curious. And she was lucky that it really did. "You can ask anything, you just won't be guaranteed an answer."

You laughed. Damn, she really knew how to charm a girl. Or a person, anyway. You couldn't tell.

"I just came to Sunnydale, actually. Not that it interests you, but… I was looking for a less chaotic city. Until I found out that this place has vampires too. So, I guess I can start packing my bags and be a nomad again."

"Are you running away from vampires?" you asked, uselessly curious about the idea of ​​a girl who knew the legends. An outsider who knew the legends. And you thought they only existed in Sunnydale.

"Running away isn't the right word, I'm afraid. They should run away from me, according to my… well, they should run away from me, instead. But I just don't agree with anything that happens here. In my life, specifically. Nothing seems to…"

"… make sense?"

"Are you…?", she stopped, staring at you and making you a little more nervous and tense than before. And then, she shook her head. "No, you're not. She said there's only one in each corner. And if I'm here, you couldn't be here. Not active."

Drunk talk. Daydreams. That was all that was needed, really.

"What are you talking about?", you asked, confused.

"Doesn't matter," Faith shook her head, laughing. "Are you single?"

Wait, what? That's definitely a quick escalation.

"What?"

"Oh, you don't like other girls? I see."

"No, no, I just… got confused, what…?"

"Calm down, I just asked if you're single. It's no big deal. And it's also okay if you don't date other girls, it's just, like, I thought you were a little… too pretty and I just wanted to know if you could… like…"

You laughed. Of course. They all had the same excuse. There was no way out of this. It started like that, and then you'd pin them against the wall, and then you'd kiss them, and then you'd try to take their shirts off until you remembered that the rule was not to get attached. And then you'd just kick them out. Because there was no point in trying to be nice when you didn't need to anymore.

"… if I could make out with you?", you finished, again, still laughing. "Yeah, it's a good proposal, actually, but I really don't know if it's very safe. You seem too drunk for my bones and I don't want to cause any problems."

Faith seemed, at that moment, to be offended. She shook her head, frowning and downing the entire drink in one go, her eyes scrutinizing you like a predator.

"I wouldn't complain if you caused me trouble, babe, I mean it," she said, simply throwing the words out of her mouth. "I have an iron fist. And, truthfully, I don't get drunk that quickly. I'm just too happy, but it's not because of the drink."

It's because of you. Okay, that was really obvious. You should have guessed.

And you should have known you were breaking the rule if you accepted it.

She stretched in the chair next to yours, a movement even more deliberate because her black blouse had risen enough to leave you in contact with half of her exposed belly. And that shouldn't have turned you on like it did. Never. Not for a second.

You took a deep breath. You imagined yourself as a vampire drinking blood from its victims, and realized that it would be a horrible thing to do, as much as it was to think.

"We don't have to make out. I can just kiss you in a random corner, surrounded by people, no one will notice," Faith said determinedly. "And I'll control my hands enough so they don't touch you…"

Oh my God. What were you getting yourself into?

You didn't think, you didn't even have time to. It felt like something else was taking over you, and maybe it would have been easier to blame the Mai Tai because when you pressed Faith against the wall and started kissing her breathlessly and in a hurry, you completely lost consciousness.

***

The day after wasn't usually the worst. But that morning after in particular was terrifying for you because, with all that hangover, you were sure you would die if you took one more step.

But the hangover certainly wasn't the biggest problem.

You don't remember the aftermath of attacking Faith's lips at the Bronze. You only remember that, in flashes, you took her home, and she led you to the gate, made you stop your father's car on the porch and tried to pull the car door open for you to get out too. But you bravely, and maybe a little self-consciously, pushed her back and said that you hated rushing things.

But you had never said that. And you had never even been in a hurry to kiss any other girl you had been with, because there had never been an accidental lifting of her shirt in the middle of the kiss, or a silly touch on the other girl's soft, tanned skin, or the discovery of a strange scar on her belly that she quickly dismissed by shoving her tongue down your throat.

And you needed to stop thinking about Faith before things got worse for you. Because you had never thought so much about another girl before. The first, maybe the first girl you had ever kissed, outside of the Bronze…

But you were thirteen. And your head was full of apple punch, which you had drunk behind your parents' back at a Halloween party with your childhood friends. And you had just kissed a girl at Spin the Bottle. And while you were throwing up and being grounded for three weeks, all you could think about was this girl.

Luckily, she moved out the following year. And you stopped thinking.

As you brushed your teeth, drank coffee, said a dull and boring good morning to your parents and lit a cigarette in the backseat while your father sang Johnny Cash on the way to school, you couldn't stop thinking about Faith. And then, in Philosophy class, you started studying about faith and counterparts. And it only got worse for you.

And then you knew you couldn't stay like this. And that you needed to see her again. Even if it was just to punch that beautiful little face, look into those brown eyes one last time or see her mouth bleeding and dripping on those perfect lips that you kissed last night.

***

Agreement number three: don't kill yourself.

But it was kind of hard to keep a promise like that in Sunnydale. When things started to heat up again in the town, and the legends started to become reality, you had to deal with the fear of facing your skepticism.

A part buried inside your brain thought that was incredibly cool. The vampires running around, the thirst for blood, the hidden threat that could invade the place you were in and make you the victim. But the more rational part started to cultivate fear, trauma, apprehension, the idea of ​​the scary occult that you didn't know about.

Oh, come on, the last known Vampire Slayer had been killed. There was no one to protect your small, peaceful town now. Any self-respecting girl was terrified of leaving the house, because there was the horrible possibility of being the chosen one.

But there was no way. You even wanted to stay home, locked up, but your free spirit cried out to go out. And faced with a dark situation in which you couldn't stop thinking about a girl, the girl you had kissed to shut her up, you needed to get out.

Until you discovered that the smell of smoke possibly attracted strange, almost snake-like creatures, thirsty for blood and with huge teeth capable of piercing a person's neck.

Until you lit a cigarette and felt a chill down your spine instead of relief when you inhaled.

Until you were knocked to the ground by the deliberate voice and the grip of a hideous creature with huge teeth. A vampire. Good. This was your chance to change your destiny, which you didn't do, because, in truth, there was no chance of people being nice to you, not in this life, at least.

When he knocked you down and ran to grab you firmly behind the neck, you closed your eyes, expecting the worst. You wouldn't even feel the firmness of his fangs. Until he grunted, and fell. A shrill, hoarse scream echoed from afar, making you open your eyes:

"Pay attention, you son of a bitch!"

And then, Faith pulled you up, the rush imminent. You knew it was her because, in fact, the unmistakable smell had been in your mind for weeks. With a glance in her direction, you clearly saw the girl's gaze soften, and you smiled, relieved, a heavy sigh that was hard to escape.

"Are you okay? Did he bite you? Are you in pain?"

"Faith," you whispered. That was all you could say. You hugged her, laughing, and she hugged you back, after two seconds, tightening her arms around you, as if she was refusing to let go.

Then, as usual, she broke the hug, with a not-so-gentle pat on your chest. "You idiot! You shouldn't be out here, it's dangerous! They're sending vampires from beyond to come after us. Answer my questions, at least, okay, idiot?"

You laughed. "Don't worry, babe, I'm fine. He was going to bite me, but you came along and… wow, you put a good stake in his chest."

"Actually, it's my dagger," she smiled, kneeling down and pulling the dagger out of the vampire's chest, as he disappeared and turned to dust in front of you. "Well, here's my secret. A Vampire Slayer. But you can interpret it however you want. I can be a Vigilante, that's all."

You huffed, shaking your head. And then, the words just spilled out of your throat again.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since that day at the Bronze. I'm not the same person anymore, Faith. I can't pretend anymore that I didn't get attached and that you didn't catch my attention from the beginning. I lied to myself for a long time about the other girls, but you…", you sighed, looking at her. "It was different. And all it took was for me to have a horrible near-death experience with an ugly creature like that to make sure of it."

"Oh, will you ever shut up, doll?", she teased, and pulled you by the waist for a desperate kiss, lowering the dagger until it fell to the floor again, and wrapping both arms around you, exactly as you imagined she would do. "I knew it… I knew it would make you change your mind. You look so much cuter without that bad girl pose."

"As if you knew anything about me, Faith."

"Oh, I know. Trust me. I've known you my whole life," she whispered, lost, before kissing you again. "I was just waiting for you to get to know me too. And then I could have you, all to myself, without all this arrogance."

"Shut up," you whispered.

And then she shut up. And you kissed all night. And maybe the next day, when she woke up in your bed and made you skip school for the first time. It was also the first day you accepted being bossed around by someone.

And somehow, that was what it was like to rule the world.

[local-redhead-bookworm]

One of the few solid critiques I’ve seen of Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel is that the shows pick and choose which moral failings to depict as bad or as just funny.

Essay-length rant under the cut, also Hellaverse-typical TWs for abuse, SA, and general lack of morals

Disclaimers:

I’m not hating on these shows. I love both of these shows, but I’m an English major so I think it’s important for me to be able to analyze what exactly I think is not working. I’m interested in a discussion, but if all you’re here to do is spew hate with no good-faith criticisms, I will block you.

These shows do not need to teach morals. These pieces of media are both intended for adult audiences, and adults should be able to understand that a depiction does not equal support. My criticism is that this moral inconsistency is sometimes to the overall tone’s detriment.

These two shows are both set in hell. Following the usual rules of hell, you wind up there regardless of what you did, so all sins should be considered equal in that regard. Of course, we as people tend to think of some sins as less forgivable than others—namely abuse, SA, and murder. I’m making broad generalizations here, but please roll with me.

The biggest problem with Hellaverse writing is that the writers aren’t consistent on what is considered morally bad in the show. These shows both center around complex, deeply flawed people, and I find that really enjoyable from a storytelling perspective because I love nuanced, flawed characters.

There are a few notable instances where this moral ambiguity works in the storytelling’s favor. Stella screaming and throwing things at Stolas (Loo Loo Land) is something the audience is primed to see as a joke, but it is used to set up the later reveal that she is in fact highly abusive (The Circus) and attempted to have him killed (Harvest Moon, Western Energy). Stolas being casually condescending to Moxxie and Millie (Loo Loo Land) and his imp servants (Seeing Stars, Full Moon) is not heavily remarked upon, but it is later used to set up his classism being a point of contention between him and Blitzø.

However, the protagonists often exhibit similar behaviors to the villains and this isn’t treated as morally wrong, or sometimes an incident is treated as minor. This problem is most glaring in cases of sexual harassment or SA. Blitzø’s repeated stalking of Moxxie and Millie, including watching them have sex without their knowledge or consent, is treated as a joke. Moxxie being kissed by the incubi and succubi (Spring Broken) is treated as a joke. Likewise Sir Pentious being dragged into the sex room in Welcome to Heaven is also treated as a joke, in spite of the episode’s b-plot being Angel Dust confronting Valentino, who is primarily shown to be bad through his sexual abuse of Angel Dust. Angel Dust harasses Husk at the bar from episodes 1-4, and while this is connected to Angel’s porn star persona and I do seem to recall it stopping after “Loser, Baby”, it’s still not treated as a problem, just as Angel Dust being Angel Dust. Other incidents of note are the running so-called joke of Loona fat-shaming Moxxie not being a problem, whereas when Mammon fat-shames Fizzarolli it is used to signify Mammon as a bad person.

I would also like to highlight the nature of Blitzø’s and Stolas’ full moon deal. In my opinion it is a running problem of dubious consent and poor kink negotiation. Let’s cover this in chronological order for sake of ease. In The Circus, Stolas starts out describing a sexual fantasy of Blitzø, his former childhood friend and first love, sneaking into his house to “ravish” Stolas. However, when Blitzø reciprocates and feeds into the fantasy, Stolas becomes hesitant. I believe this is intended to read as him being flustered, but he is extremely hesitant until Blitzø bites him. Stolas later forges the Full Moon deal with Blitzø while Blitzø is, to keep things to the point, under duress (Murder Family). Neither of these circumstances show both parties giving full consent. Hence, dub-con. Furthermore, as per The Circus and “we don’t do words, we do sex” (Apology Tour), Stolas and Blitzø have a strong precedent for poorly negotiated BDSM and lack of proper kink safety. However, the show’s inconsistency with how it handles sexual harassment and power imbalances weakens the impact of the Full Moon deal’s transactional nature on the relationship.

I greatly enjoy Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, as I enjoy flawed and complex characters. I do not expect the show to address every issue raised here with the care that should be used in real life, as this is a fictional story set in hell. However, the writers’ inconsistency, particularly when it comes to depicting power imbalances and sexual harassment/SA, leads to a muddled tone which confuses the audience to a point where it is not beneficial to telling the story.

Because I’m a nerd but can’t be bothered to format 100%, here’s my works cited:

Danny Motta. “I Was WRONG About Blitz | Blitz Vs Stolas Debate.” YouTube.

Sarcastic Chorus. “STOLAS DID EVERYTHING WRONG - Stolitz Analysis.” YouTube.

Vivziepop’s Helluva Boss playlist. YouTube.

[schrodinger-swriter]

Can we get an a,b,c,f,j for the lovely Carmila herself if that’s not too much to ask?

A, B, C, F, and J for Carmilla

Apologies for the delay, Anon... The past two days has been a bit chaotic and generally I haven't been in the best mental or physical space..

With that being said I hope you enjoy this despite the delay!

ATTRACTION:

As much as she wants to protect you and be there for you she needs security in knowing that you can fight for yourself and handle problems on your own when she cannot be there for you. She finds a strong partner is what works best for her. That's not saying she won't come to your aid if you need her help. In fact she will come in a heart beat, but once more she needs some reassurance that no one is going to be able to just snuff you out. It's less of an attraction thing and more of a peace of mind thing, she doesn't exactly see weaker people less desirable.. just unlikely. If that makes sense?

BONDING:

Often you two bond by just talking. Carmilla is often tired from keeping her business running and her clients satisfied, as well as designing new weapons. There's nothing more that she wants to do than to simply sit and let her hair down. Have a drink with her, perhaps something warm to loosen the tenseness inside of her. Ask her how she's doing and she will do the same. Very low energy and calm in contrast to the constant stimulation from her work life.

CUDDLING:

She's warm! Like most sinners! Her large hands tend to wrap around you almost defensively, but gently. More often than not she is the big spoon but sometimes she will humor you and switch places. Only cuddles with you in the privacy of your rooms.

FAMILY:

She already has her daughters, and she is already more than happy with them. She isn't looking for any more children, even if as a sinner she can't bare anymore. Personally I read her daughters as being young adults, if anything in their very very early 20s.. so while they do not need a second parent, your support won't go unheard.

JEALOUSY:

She handles jealousy very well, actually. If you decide to make her jealous on purpose or try to "test" her, it's going to be a quick end to the relationship. She's looking for someone emotionally mature she knows she can confide in as an equal and she's not going to let you waste her time like that. In the case you are being flirted with and you're not reciprocating, Carmilla is swift to take you away. Though she's.. not very stealthy in coming up with an excuse on why you need to leave. In fact she's quite blunt to the person in telling them to back off, just short of kissing you in front of the other party. Though that's more of her being protective rather than being jealous.

[damnfandomproblems]

I just want to bring up the fact that dubcon does not exist in real life and is purely a fictional concept, and dubcon should be tagged with either the rape/noncon tag and/or with the chose not to warn tag because of this. In the real world, dubcon is rape.

Drunk people, be it strangers or partners, having sex without getting consent while both were sober is technically rape, and even if enjoy and liked in the moment or immediate aftermath, can absolutely still become traumatic later on once one or both parties realize they couldn't and didn't give meaningful and genuine consent and that their partner couldn't and didn't give meaningful and genuine consent. If you have sex with a drunk person, even if you are also drunk, without first getting consent while they're sober, you have raped them.

People having sex, be it strangers or partners, but one fails to do their responsibility of checking in and ensuring continuous and enthusiastic consent and pushes/pressures the other into doing things they don't want and creating an environment where they cannot or simply do not feel comfortable speak up, however unintentionally, is rape, and even if enjoyed and liked in the moment, or even just tolerated and brushed off in the moment, and can absolutely become traumatic later on as the one being neglected realizes they couldn't/didn't give meaningful and genuine consent and the other did not care enough to ensure total reciprocation. If you don't ensure continuous consent, or you fail to pay attention to the signs of discomfort and/or don't stop at those signs of discomfort, even if the other may being trying to appease you by saying their discomfort is okay and to continue, you have raped someone.

Any sex between a child (yes, including teenagers, 19 or under, and no not between minors, as that sadly legally varies on location) and an adult (20+) that does not fall with in a small (generally a 3 year or less) age gap is both actively predatory and rape. If you, some who is 22 or older have sex with someone who is 19 or younger, you are a predatory rapist.

Consent only exists when it's given freely, enthusiastically, continuously, and intentionally by all involved parties of either a similar OR (not "and", yes I acknowledge teenagers can consensual sleep with other teenagers) mature age and all of a sound sense of mind. Consent requires intention and care (meaning both parties must be proactive in ensuring initial and continuous consent) and it must be able to be revoked at any moment for any reason without consequence (violence, shame, guilt tripping, etc).

Any sex without consent is rape, no ifs, ands, or buts, even if you have raped or were raped by someone and don't see it as a big deal. And while fiction doesn't have to follow the rules of reality, and "dubcon" can and only exist in fiction, the tags used to explain it should be based in reality for clarification and to avoid confusion, triggering others, and muddying what exactly rape in the real world is

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[battry-acid]

Ur autistic Colossus post is so good! I like it a lot. I'm a bigger fan of his sister so I don't usually analyze him on his own so it makes me appreciate him a lot more! I'd love to hear your thoughts on his relationship with Kitty

ty!!!!! and i also love illyana, she's so awesome and her relationship with her big brother makes me so happy. i love how different and yet so similar they are and how they always care about each other so much no matter what. <333

kitty and piotr....oh boy. this is probably gonna be way longer than it needs to be, it will probably take multiple posts. i just have a lot of thoughts. i also anticipate pissing a good few people off so i apologize in advance for that.

<< warnings: inappropriate depiction of a minor (visuals), inappropriate age gap in a relationship, non-consent, mentions of pedophilia and child marriage, alcohol (visuals) >>

it's too big of an age gap. that's it. it's not that i think the two of them don't have some kind of chemistry as characters, it's simply the fact that kitty and piotr met when piotr was 18 and kitty was 13. 13 years old. when they break up, kitty is 14 and piotr is nearly 20. and their ages are constantly commented on. it makes my stomach twist to think of either of them in that kind of inappropriate relationship, and it makes me feel even worse to know how much the other x-men encourage their relationship in the comics. really, really makes me sick.

issue #129. kitty is introduced as 13 years old. two pages later, the writers draw attention to kitty noticing piotr first when she meets the x-men.

issue #131. piotr carries kitty to safety. after bopping one last baddie, piotr notices kitty staring at him.

this is all innocent stuff at first. i'm not bothered by this, as it's a one-sided crush kitty has on an older soon-to-be teammate. teen girls can have their cute little crushes! it's no biggie. it isn't reciprocated by piotr, and that's all that matters to me.

then the shit hits the fan when "days of future past" starts up in issue #141.

they're married in the future. married. they had children together.

once again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this. they're two consenting adults in the future, an age gap isn't that big of a deal. but this is the writers' way of solidifying that they want piotr and kitty to be a couple. that is the plan.

where my problem with the writers' portrayal of these characters starts is when kitty's future self takes over her present body, and everything immediately becomes weird.

smells like a woman. what the fuck does "smells like a woman" mean???

now that the writers have established that kitty and piotr will assumedly become a couple, they can start pushing for it even when the events of this story arc end.

issue #143 is when my skin really starts to crawl. i have seen multiple people draw fanart specifically of these few panels, and as cute as the art may be, the fact that kitty is 13 years old and piotr is 18 years old at the time will never leave my mind.

kitty starts coming on to piotr and it is immediately joked about and encouraged by the other x-men. kurt and logan will be especially bad about this from now on.

even kitty's parents have no issue with this relationship. y'know, the incredibly protective parents that didn't want her to join the x-men at all at first due to how dangerous it is.

issue #149. "boyfriend." cool. thanks, logan.

i must emphasize again that my problem is not with the characters themselves, i love all of the x-men, it is the writers and the marvel heads that approved of this character arc. the characters don't question the inappropriate nature of this relationship because the writers don't question it. the characters encourage it because they're given the morals the writers have.

in my heart, logan, kurt, and every other x-man would never approve of this kind of relationship. in my heart, kitty would never pursue it. and in my heart, piotr would never reciprocate it.

but he does, because the writers want him to. and in issue #151, we see them kiss for the first time in the present:

i also want to point out that the writers aren't the only ones at fault with this. in this same issue, look at how the artists choose to illustrate kitty:

this is way too sexualized of a depiction of a minor. they choose to emphasize her ass and skinny waist and give her the facial proportions of an adult woman. this is not the first nor the last time they will sexualize kitty while she is still an underage character.

it sows discord how different the characters look/how they're depicted visually vs. how they're written to act. piotr as a teenager was still drawn to be a fully grown mature adult despite his very young demeanour. kitty is constantly in bikinis and her face is drawn as if she's much older than thirteen. she's immature and impulsive and has traits that are expected of a kid/teenager, she is treated like a kid and even called "kid" by characters like logan, but she isn't always drawn as one. and i don't want to hear about "oh well some teenagers physically mature faster than others" because if this is the only way you depict people of this age group, there is a problem. comic artists of this time are kind of famous for having no clue how to draw kids (though honestly comic artists of today still have that issue). it is incredibly important to me as an artist and a writer that these depictions are as accurate and appropriate as they can be.

continuing on to issue #153. god, i hate this one. if not for the depiction of kitty and piotr, then the racial caricatures for sure.

kitty begins taking on a motherly role for illyana (who is still a toddler at this point) as piotr watches over her. kitty tells her a bedtime story, and in the story, piotr's role in it is as "her true love".

oh and also? hate the portrayal of kurt in this issue. yeah, he's got mad game, he gets so many bitches, can we not have one of the people he pursues be 13 years old??? please??? and, again, the characters don't take issue with this because the writers don't.

issue #159. she simultaneously talks about being 14 years old and being in a relationship with piotr. the writers want to emphasize how young and inexperienced she is while simultaneously pairing her up with an adult character.

then the brood arc happens. if you don't know about the brood arc, it's like an alien ripoff. i love the drama of it, seeing how characters grapple with their imminent death, but i am not one that enjoys the analogy of something alien growing inside of one's body. not my cup of tea at all.

anyway, onto issue #165. i want to share these pages in full.

this entire sequence feels more like an older sibling or parent comforting an upset child then two consenting individuals pursuing a relationship. the dynamic is completely off. this is not romantic, this is exclusively platonic/familial to me. they're going to die, and piotr is not swooning over her till his dying breath, he is comforting her like he would his little sister.

they have a conversation about the importance of age in their relationship. kitty looks noticeably younger in these panels, drawn more like the child that she is.

i wish i knew what piotr was thinking in all of this. i miss his thought bubbles going into detail about how conflicted he feels all of the time. all we get, in this entire arc of a relationship with kitty, are his physical actions and what he chooses to verbalize. like i said, piotr is very autistic-coded to me, and he very often keeps his thoughts and opinions to himself. as the audience, we don't even get that usual inner monologue of his this time around. i truly do not know what he is thinking.

is the thought of imminent death really making him question their relationship now? or has he been questioning it from the start? why did he kiss her if he's starting to feel as though he shouldn't be in a relationship with her? why is he the only one that has an issue with their age gap? there are so many questions i will never have answers to. i only get to speculate about how he feels and what the intentions of the writers were in this scene.

the brood is defeated, the parasites destroyed, and the x-men have their lives back.

then professor xavier jumpscares everyone in issue #167 leading into #168 by declaring that kitty MUST join the new mutants and leave the x-men for good because she's too young. the iconic "professor xavier is a JERK!" opening page comes from this.

and the issue is majorly disappointing! by the end, she's back on the x-men team. xavier immediately retracts his statement because kitty does a good job in one training session and that's apparently enough. seeing her in action was enough to decide, yes, she's enough of an adult to be an x-man.

this is also around the time piotr starts referring to kitty as "katya", a pet name. is it because he's becoming more comfortable in his relationship or because she has now officially been promoted to Adult Status so hes allowed to be romantic with her now?

oh also illyana is a teenager at this point and that's why the new mutants have started their comic run in tandem with uncanny x-men. kitty appears in both comics from now on and is friends with both teams, especially besties with illyana.

i will be skipping over much of the caliban and kitty story arc that happens around this time that is supposed to emphasize just how much kitty is willing to sacrifice for piotr. caliban and kitty's relationship is more explicitly supposed to be depicted as gross and inappropriate since caliban is much more obviously an older adult, and all of the characters hate caliban for being in love with kitty. it felt hypocritical to me as a child and it still feels hypocritical now that piotr gets a pass for being with kitty but caliban does not. why? is it because he's conventionally attractive and still a teenager despite clearly being a huge buff adult man that is treated as an adult and an equal among the x-men? neither piotr nor caliban should be with kitty, it doesn't matter how much older caliban is supposed to be. both have significant age gaps with kitty so both should be inappropriate.

issue #174. "i won't take 'no' for an answer." he doesn't want to go with her, but he does anyway, because he knows she won't take no for an answer.

she surprises him with a kiss. he's upset, but he forgives her. that little surprise kiss leads to something more. piotr recognizes that kitty looks scared, but she doesn't care, so piotr goes along with it, because he knows she won't take no for an answer.

holy fuck thank you ororo for coming in at the perfect time end this immediately.

the echoes of what happened to him with nereel in the savage land still haunt me. i do not like that there is a theme of piotr not consenting to implicitly sexual acts in his relationships. << maybe i will talk about that entire aspect of piotr's character arc another time. maybe i won't. it makes me feel so, so much worse than everything that happens with kitty. >>

back to the topic of the new mutants, though. doug ramsey is introduced and becomes fast friends with kitty, which makes piotr, who already felt conflicted about his relationship with kitty, feel even more conflicted.

this conversation between piotr and logan in issue #180 sums up this character conflict the best:

i do not think that piotr genuinely feels jealousy towards doug and kitty's relationship. i simply think kitty's interactions with doug have brought even more attention to how much piotr and kitty lack in commonality, how much better doug would be as a match for kitty than himself. he's closer to her own age, with similar interests, same level of intelligence, more properly on the same playing field as mutants still mastering their abilities... doug is a peer to kitty, and piotr is not.

it's complicated. but it's also not complicated at all. i too think doug is a better match for kitty than piotr for all of these reasons. i don't blame piotr at all for feeling this way.

there's also this entire theme of changes happening in kitty's life and her having to accept them, like the whole subplot of her and storm who were previously incredibly close striking friction due to kitty not liking storm's new attitude or appearance.

there's been hints towards piotr and kitty breaking up for a while just as there's been buildup to this conversation between kitty and storm about those themes.

CONTINUED HERE. PLEASE READ THE SECOND PART TO GET THE FULL CONTEXT

[allthelittlecreepycrawlies]

Another mixed concept and scene snippet post from twitter. This one I actually hammered out a quick ending to!

Nie Huaisang is the insecure one of the relationship for a change. 

Even though they’ve been together from the end of lectures all the way through the Sunshot Campaign, even though Jiang Cheng always turns them down, even though Jiang Cheng chased off the matchmakers, there's always someone drawn in by Jiang Cheng’s pretty face or the allure of the Jiang-furen. 

And, eventually, Jiang Cheng will have to find himself a wife. 

An actual wife. 

Nie Huaisang can handle dealing with merchants and accounts and stuff like that, he’d even force himself to do it for the rest of his life if he has to, but there's so much more that would be expected of a wife and even if he were to learn it all, the etiquette and everything, he's still not a woman. He can’t give Jiang Cheng heirs of his own bloodline, and he knows how important that is.

So even though he does his best to help out with rebuilding the Pier, Nie Huaisang makes himself scarce if there's even a hint of flirting because if this is going to be the one that Jiang Cheng reciprocates, he doesn't want to be there to see it.

He even stays through the fallout and the first siege, only for a new problem to pop up as the dust settles.

On top of everything else, Jin Ling can’t stand him. Even at that age where babies are upset about everything, it's clear Nie Huaisang is his least favorite adult, even though Nie Huaisang is doing his best, and is actually doing things correctly 95% of the time.

It's absolutely crushing. It's worse than the flirting, worse than the proposal letters, because he knows more than anything, Jiang Cheng needs a partner who can do right by his nephew.

As Jin Ling howls angrily in his arms, only to immediately quiet as soon as someone else takes him, Nie Huaisang finally starts contemplating throwing in the towel and letting Jiang Cheng find someone who actually deserves to be by his side. 

And eventually… he does give up and break things off. 

Not wanting to leave Jiang Cheng feeling like he's in the wrong, he explains everything before he quietly goes back to Qinghe.

Unbeknownst to him, Jiang Cheng takes this as a challenge. 

Nie Huaisang left because people wanted him to marry better? Fine! He finally accepts the matchmakers' attempts to set him up, and then purposely bombs the dates. When rumors start getting out, he pays the matchmakers to support them.

He can't do anything about the fact that Jin Ling doesn't like Nie Huaisang, and that guts him, because his nephew comes first. But Jin Ling's a baby, surely his opinion will change as he grows? 

Right?

He can make this work. He will make this work.

It's been a year and a half since he and Nie Huaisang have seen each other in person, but they've been tentatively exchanging letters. 

When Jiang Cheng arrives at the conference in Qinghe, he takes the first day to gather his nerves. On the second day, he thinks he's ready.

And then the screaming panic erupts in the courtyard.

---

From there, it goes as canon did. Nie Huaisang grows distant as he sinks into grief and revenge and Jiang Cheng throws himself into running the sect and raising Jin Ling. 

(Neither of them ever tells Jin Ling about their history together, so he grows up having never known they were even an item, just that Nie Huaisang is that weird annoying guy who's always pestering shushu. Ironic that he ends up remaining completely disdainful of Nie Huaisang his whole childhood, but for totally different reasons.)

It's painful and bewildering to see the way Nie Huaisang acts around Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao, because Nie Huaisang wasn't that clingy with him even when they were lovers.

(Once the final confrontation at the temple concludes, Jiang Cheng realizes that Nie Huaisang might have been shielding him from All Of That, but he's still kind of hurt and confused.)

Something forces them to talk: Jin Ling eventually does find out about their backstory.

Not the actual backstory, of course, but during a 'friendly' night hunt, Wei Wuxian offhandedly muses about the fact that Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang aren't together anymore.

Wait, when were they ever together???? 

"Oh, it ended before you were even old enough to remember?" Wei Wuxian asks. "Though I guess that's not surprising, since you were only three when Chifeng-zun died."

"It was probably because even they couldn't stand each other for long," Lan Jingyi says, earning a swat from Ouyang Zizhen.

But Wei Wuxian just grins and says "Yeah, that's probable, too," or something like that. Jin Ling doesn't really hear it clearly because he's already mad and stewing in his own thoughts.

His jiujiu-! With that guy-!

And he's going to get to the bottom of this. Since his jiujiu never said anything about Nie-zongzhu all those years, good or bad, he knows he won't get any information that way, and even though he grew up seeing Nie-zongzhu as a silly harmless annoyance, recent discussions mean he doesn't feel comfortable going to the Unclean Realms either.

Time to start asking the Jiang sect’s second-in-command some questions. 

---

Jin Ling doesn’t get much, but he gets enough that he knows he’s going to have to press Nie-zongzhu for the full story. 

So he sucks up his nerve and heads to the Unclean Realms.

He’s received with little fanfare, but when Nie Huaisang offers tea, he can tell by the smell that it’s his jiujiu’s favorite, and he can’t help but wonder which of them loved it first.

It throws him off guard enough that rather than the snippy confrontation he had been planning on the way over, the first question out of his mouth is “Do you regret any of it?”

Nie Huaisang tilts his head, expression uncomfortably probing. Jin Ling braces himself for the usual deflections and protestations of ignorance, but whatever Nie Huaisang sees makes him simply sigh instead. “Your shenshen. I never predicted she would react the way she did. I thought she would go home to her parents.”

“What about the cu- Mo Xuanyu? Did you make him do it?”

“No. It was his idea to begin with, actually. But there was a possibility, however small, that I could have stopped him, and I never tried.”

Jin Ling is… not sure exactly how he feels about the answers he’s been given. But he does believe them. So he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, lets it out… and without any of the irritation he’d been carrying with him on the way, asks the question that has really sparked this visit.

“Did you break up with jiujiu because of me?”

Nie Huaisang chokes on his tea. “Where did you hear that from?” he wheezes after getting the coughing under control.

“Not any one person in particular. I heard you’d been together from shijiu, and started putting the pieces together after talking to some others,” Jin Ling only partially lies, not wanting to put his jiujiu’s second in any possible line of fire. “Did you?”

Nie Huaisang rubs between his eyes, and it looks like he won’t answer at first. “It wasn’t your fault,” he finally says. “There were over a dozen different issues that probably would have sunk us eventually. We’d been keeping the relationship quiet during the rebuilding, so there were potential wives being tossed in his path constantly, none of which I could measure up to.”

“He would have picked you anyway,” Jin Ling says, eyes narrowed. “So tell me the real reason.”

“I did. Choosing me would have only put more stress on him, especially since-”

“Since what?”

“Since nothing.”

“So it did have something to do with me.”

“Jin-zongzhu-”

“Tell me,” Jin Ling insists, practically leaning over the table.

Nie Huaisang scrubs his face with his hands. “Fine. Fine. I hated seeing how miserable he was having to split time between us because you screamed yourself blue if someone tried to hand you to me. I wasn’t going to make him choose, and I wasn’t going to make him feel guilty when he inevitably chose you. It was better for both of you to just take myself out of the running.”

Jin Ling sits back down and processes this, remembering all the times he’d heard his jiujiu absolutely shut down a dinner date with anyone. How he always changed the subject when Jin Ling brought up the question of why he hadn't married yet.

He must have been missing Nie Huaisang the whole time, and it’s clear just from watching Nie Huaisang during this discussion that he’d been hurting too. And yet they’d never breathed a word about it around him because they didn’t want him thinking he’d ruined things for them.

“Okay,” he says finally. “I’m summoning jiujiu here and we’re discussing this in full.”

“What?”

—

Things finally seem to be going well. With Jin Ling's blessing, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are tentatively mending the bond between them.

And then a night hunt goes horribly wrong, with Jiang Cheng taking a blow that would have killed his nephew and once-shixiong. Much to everyone's surprise, including his own, he ascends.

As a god of devotion.

He laughs until he realizes the other gods are serious, and then he's bewildered and angry because why him?

Worst of all, he can't leave the heavens without permission for literal years because he has to 'settle in' first, which just seems like a lot of bureaucratic bullshit to him.

—

Of course he goes to Jin Ling first, who's now fully-grown and well-established, but still greets him with tears and a fierce hug like a kid. After they've spent almost the whole day catching up, Jin Ling suddenly gets very quiet and serious. "You might want to go see Huaisang next. Before it's too late."

Jiang Cheng stiffens. "I was already planning on it, but what the hell do you mean 'too late'?"

"He's... really not been doing well since you ascended. I think the only things still keeping him alive at this point are his promise to his brother and the fact that the disciples insist on taking care of him even though he abdicated."

Jiang Cheng feels sick, because he knows.

He knows why.

He thanks Jin Ling and, in a blink, he's at the Unclean Realms. Ignoring the stunned reactions, he turns to the man he recognizes as having been the head disciple the last time he visited and is likely the sect leader now. "Where is he?"

He's guided to a set of rooms deep in the side of the mountain, where the only light is from torches and lanterns and candles. When he enters the door indicated for him, the sight inside makes his stomach drop.

Nie Huaisang is sleeping on a bed of furs and soft pillows, an array Jiang Cheng can't identify stitched over the chest of carefully arranged robes. Despite the fact that his face is still smooth and unlined, there are silver streaks among the braids in his hair. He's far too thin and just... looks ill. 

Kneeling beside the low bed, Jiang Cheng reaches out to touch his cheek, his hair, something, but his presence rouses his former lover before he can make contact.

Nie Huaisang blinks at him, then smiles, but his gaze isn't focusing right. "Ah, Cheng-er, look at you," he murmurs, barely audible. "Always knew you were too good for a monster like me."

—

Nie Huaisang only lives long enough to complete the purification ritual.

Jiang Cheng decides to remain on earth, waiting. He passes the time by occasionally checking in with the sect, or with Jin Ling, or even with Wei Wuxian, the shock of his ascension having forced them to have some very weighty conversations.

It takes another fifty years, but eventually he crosses paths with a young man who has familiar green eyes and an even more familiar infectious laugh.