#The other students have been so supportive too and I'm extremely grateful to them
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applejarjar · 1 year ago
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Oh the dichotomy of the human race
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vampirebloodie · 1 year ago
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Adam Stanheight x reader? Like how Lawrence describes his daughter & wife, have Adam describe his relationship with the reader.
Hope you like it, anon! <3
Best Thing In My Life | Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x Reader
Summary: You carry Adam's baby and the position of the best thing in his life
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The time in that bathroom seemed like it would never end, Lawrence and Adam were still trying to understand what they should do to get out of that trap without physical harm. They had already understood that they needed to cut off their own leg that was trapped in chains, but where would they get the courage to do something like that? Lawrence looked at the photo of his family tied up there, helpless, not knowing what he could do to help Alison and their daughter.
“I feel horrible that i can’t help them. Alison and Diana are everything to me. I know i made a mistake cheating on Alison, but i love her since we met years ago. She is the woman of my life.”
The doctor lamented, he didn't even have enough water in his body to shed tears.
“I wonder if they did something to Y/n like they did to them.”
Adam said leaning against the wall, inside he was in pure despair, but he tried to hide it as much as possible, he didn't want to appear weak, no matter how weak he was.
“Y/n? Your relative?”
He asked.
“Something more than that. She is the best thing in my life. Is my girlfriend. I don’t think they would have the courage to do anything to her.”
“If they did something to a child like mine, why wouldn’t they do it to your girlfriend?”
Lawrence asked and Adam ignored his rude question.
“She is not alone. She's pregnant, carrying my baby. I was dedicating myself so much to photography to support both of us and him or her.”
Adam ran his hand over his face, starting to cry. Lawrence was silent for a few seconds before sighing, he was a little shocked now, Adam is gonna be a dad, just like him. If they were close to each other, they would definitely have hugged each other at that moment.
"I'm so sorry."
“I... She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was bullied a lot in high school for being introverted, she was a new student, in the first week without even knowing me she helped me and stopped them from hitting me. She started hanging out with me and even though she was teased for being pretty and hanging out with a "weirdo" like me, she never stopped. After that i started to look at her like the wonder woman of my dreams, we've been together for 7 years and counting, in fact i was planning to surprise her and ask her to marry me, until i ended up here. She probably came home and saw everything set up, but she didn't saw me there. ”
He explained with a sad face.
"Don't worry. We’re going to get out of here and you’re going to see her again. I want to see my family too. Alison and i are not what we used to be, but i know she still loves me as much as i love her, the feeling may have cooled, but our love for Diana can overcome everything. My little girl is such a miracle in our life, she is so smart and curious. Just like her mother when was a teenager. I'm so proud of my baby”
Gordon said smiling, Adam started running his hands through his jeans looking for something, until he took a photo out of one of the pockets and showed it to Lawrence.
“Look look, at least he didn’t take that from me.”
Lawrence couldn't deny it, she really was very beautiful and had a magical smile that could easily charm anyone who passed by her. The photo showed her and Adam together holding a pregnancy test in one hand and a photograph of an ultrasound in the other hand, smiling extremely happily as a couple in love should be.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she? She is the love of my life, she is everything to me, she is the thing i am most grateful for having in my life. My family never supported me in being a photographer, unlike her who always helped me despite all the judgments. Being with her every day makes me happier and warms my heart, it's like im in paradise and she's my goddess. ”
Adam said smiling silly caressing the photo, the blonde laughed.
"Do not laugh. Lawrence, im really scared i'll never leave here and i won’t be able to see her again.” He admitted, frustrated.
"Ok ok, we going to get out of here, we’re going to find a way to do this, you’re going to find your wife, even if i leave first and come back for you.”
"You promise?"
“I promise you, Adam.”
Final note: please, reblog if you liked! 💖
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angelinatoybox · 3 months ago
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Please help me keep my apartment!
Hello!! My name is Jaszmine and I am asking for help so that I do not lose my apartment this month. I have another account on here but I am unfortunately too shy to ask for help but since I am in an emergency situation I can't afford to feel that way right now.
TLDR and gofundme link on the bottom:
To start, I was finally able to leave an abusive home that I lived in for the past 24 years. I got my first apartment in June and it was the first major thing I had ever done for myself. But unfortunately, a few days before I was about to move in, my big sister passed away. My life had been going further downhill since then. Two months prior to all of this, at my then new job, they had started extreme budget cuts which largely effected our hours. I am supposed to be full-time and worked 36 hours a week. Very shortly after I had gotten hired, my hours went down to 21 hours per week. (more below)
At first this was somewhat manageable, then coincidentally, two weeks after I had moved into my apartment and my sister had died, I had received an email telling me that my wages were soon to be garnished for student loans… STUDENT LOANS. They had informed me that they would be taking 25% from my already short paychecks- my checks that were already small due to them cutting hours. I had the organization that was garnishing me, under their advising, to send them my paystubs and expenses so that they can lower the percentage that were taking and/or completely stop- but they denied twice. Despite seeing how little my checks were compared to my rent, on top of my other utilities.
My account has been in overdraft for months. I am not able to get food for myself at all. I have applied for food stamps and have been denied twice. They said I make too much which is insane to me, because I have absolutely zero spending money. I don’t even have spare change.
I have applied for so many jobs ever since they have been cutting hours. I have been turned down by each and every one. I have two more job interviews coming up that I am PRAYING goes through because my whole situation literally depends on it. I have asked for more hours at work and they always respond that there are none to give and that there are absolutely no shifts to pick up. I have tried food pantries and I am unable to get transportation to go out there. I cannot even afford a bus pass.
In the past two weeks, I have already received an eviction notice on my door- and mind you, I JUST moved into this apartment. I have finally been able to get a court date to file for hardship for my wage garnishment case, and I am extremely anxious about how I am going to be able to make it there. I have no friends or family who live around me who are able to take me.
My next paycheck comes on the 31st of this month, and I already know that the very little that I am going to get with this check will be going entirely towards my rent. My electric, phone and water bill are going to be cut off and this will be another month that I have very little to no food in my fridge. I am just praying that its at least enough to cover my rent. I absolutely cannot afford to lose this apartment. Shelters are unfortunately not an option for me and I absolutely do not wish to go back to my previous residence. I'm hoping that this job I am interviewing for comes through because it really make all of the difference with how my current situation is going.
TDLR: I moved into a new apt in June, my work hours have been cut since April and my wages are getting garnished for student loans. I have little to no food and I am needing enough to cover the rest of my rent for the month of August.
Anything helps! And I am deeply grateful for everyone who donates and/or took the time to read this. Thank you!!
I can also take:
Chime and cashapp: $jpjpow
Paypal: @jaszminepowell
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anghraine · 1 year ago
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Do you have any advice for navigating chronic mental health stuff and grad school? How has your advisor handled it?
Background: I'm finishing my first year of a PhD. The classwork was fine/ easy, but the research was not, and my advisor isn't happy. Part of this is from my mental health slipping (the rest is normal research life); her reaction was that I need to either take a break until this is resolved or leave, since she's at a point in her career where she doesn't want to deal with unreliable students. When I mentioned getting tested for ADHD, she heavily implied I therefore can't cut it in the program. There are no other professors in my program doing research even slightly related to my field. I know this is illegal, but it also seems pretty normal for grad school. Have you seen advisors handle that sort of disclosure well?
No issues if this is too detailed/ you don't want to respond!
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! That's super shitty, though I have heard of roughly similar things happening. However, it is definitely not my experience in my own PhD program with my advisor (except that my advisor was also my only real option as far as research goes).
My advisor has been extremely kind about my mental health, despite it causing a significant amount of inconvenience and concern for him personally. I didn't mind talking about why that is any more, but I'll put the longer version of the story under a cut. (Mind the tag.)
I had an awful breakdown from late 2020 up to the end of 2021/early 2022 (bipolar mood swings from "can't focus but lalalala" to "suicidally depressed for months" coupled with autism problems and extreme anxiety). My advisor and department chair didn't know what was going on, but they were concerned that I stopped responding to basically anything, and I nearly did have to leave the program.
But the one major university thing I did manage to do during this time was to get my clinical autism diagnosis confirmed through testing services and to consistently see a psychiatrist. Both the psychologist and psychiatrist I ended up seeing strongly recommended reaching out to my advisor, disclosing my conditions/their impacts on study, and seeing what my situation was at that point.
So (after considerable angst) I put together an email to him, and he quickly wrote back. He was fantastic. He just said he was glad to hear from me and know how I was doing, and handled a lot of the bureaucratic end of things. I did end up needing to disclose basically everything (except the suicidal ideation, which I did not mention to anyone except my psychiatrist) to the department chair and head of graduate studies, and it all turned out okay in the end.
That's a big part of the reason that passing my exams and getting advanced to candidate is so surreal and such a big deal for me. But I really am inexpressibly grateful to my advisor for helping me through an extremely rough patch, where he went well beyond what he really had to do. As a side note, our research only partly coincides, but I would not exchange him for anyone (he studies 18th/19th lit in English where I study 17th/18th British).
So I guess my takeaway is that, as someone with mental health problems, having a supportive, helpful advisor made a lot more of a difference than having common interests with him. Your advisor seems genuinely quite bad to me. I don't really have a solution for you, though taking advantage of student health services was helpful for me, personally, in having documentation I could direct people to.
And if you really do need to go on academic leave and she's willing to approve it, sometimes it can be helpful in recuperating from academic life for awhile if you can afford the delay. Alternatively, you might look for more helpful people to have on your committee if that's how it works at your institution. You might also go to the chair of your department with your concerns if you feel you can trust them (bearing in mind that it's kind of the nuclear option). If you're seeing a counselor and/or psychiatrist/psychologist, you might also ask them what they suggest, since they'll know your institution.
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swallowed-by-the-moon · 2 months ago
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I don't know if I'm the only one who does this but I traumdump to random ppl just to see their reaction in order to understand if what I experienced was really traumatic or I'm just a spoilt child in a grown up body who uses his pseudotrauma to excuse his spoilt-ness
this shit constantly messes w my head. because my mother often told me I made my "trauma" up just to make her look bad. I mean I don't know how others live. at least I don't starve. but is it normal or is it not? i don't understand because my mother constantly changes from affectionate to hateful and vise versa. she's always been like this and I never knew which one is her true form. I mean her actions just show me how she never wanted me and my sister at the first place because she doesn't even try to be supportive. both me and my sister noticed that she isn't able to actually get into the stuff we like. in fact I guess she wouldn't even be able to tell which colour is my favourite or answer some other basic question about me correctly. I mean she never tried to understand the stuff I liked and called it "stupid". I wasn't physically neglected tho. and idk if staying distant from your kids is neglect it's literally so questionable because alienation is all I've ever known, it seems normal. punishing me by taking the things I love away is 100% not normal tho, making me face a relative who's been abusive towards me both physically and mentally is not okay too
but the fact that my bio parents are not poor makes everything more complicated even. honestly I would give anything to have supportive parents even if we'd live poorly. the thing I understood as I aged was that in fact money bring emptiness. okay yes they can afford to buy us a console, a laptop, a private art college. but all they give me is distraction from the horrible reality stripped of any meaning because I don't have human bonds. I always stay distant. I can't let myself get attached. and videogames are a way out. but it's really not what I want. I mean. I listen to my friend's stories and she often tells me her family lacks money and I'm just. my parents never lacked money (esp for basic needs). does that make me invalid?
I escaped to this art college from a high school where I was bullied and got extremely paranoid amd dysphoric, tried to kms. in fact my mother sponsored me getting out of there and going to tjis art college. but in fact I wouldn't even end up in that high school in another country if they didn't press me for years so I felt an urge to run away as far as I can. they pressed me into choosing a profession that never felt right for me either way. told me that "artists don't earn money" when I said I wanted to be an animation student. is it really all them or am I unable to just be grateful because I'm too spoilt for it?
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amstories · 1 year ago
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Newsletter #14: October 2023
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Dear RNAs,
It's been a while since I've written a newsletter. Seasons are changing so fast so here's a summary of my highlights and milestones for the past months.
Wattpad Ambs Update
Ardor
Ficlet Fridays S04
Inkspired Inktober
Wattpad Ambs Update
In case you missed it, I'm no longer a part of the Ambassadors Program since August. After evaluating my circumstances and busy schedule, I know that I can no longer commit to being an ambassador in Wattpad. Being a part of this program taught me a lot. Here are the few things I learned from Wattpad Ambs:
Never underestimate the value of meaningful conversation for your well-being.
Be aware of what you're saying, and how it could perhaps be misinterpreted.
Take a breather if something you are reading is annoying or angering you.
Volunteers do not necessarily have the time; they have the heart!
The heart of a volunteer is never measured in size, but by the depth of the commitment to make a difference in the lives of others.
And lastly, "Be kind, always." Wattpad Ambs taught me to always look at another online user as another human behind that account. Whatever they might do or say, that account is being handled by another human who has feelings or a circumstance that we know nothing about. That's why it's important to always be kind.
I'm grateful for the work that every Wattpad Ambassador is putting out there, whether seen or unseen by the Wattpad community. You, guys, are awesome!
For those who wants to join the Ambs program, I highly recommend it only if you love to serve the Wattpad community and reading (because you'll do lots of it).
Ardor
Whenever I think of it, I still can't believe it happened. Last MIBF, Ardor was launched and I had my very first book signing. Crazy!
Ardor is an anthology of 21 short stories about love. The title means a strong, intense feeling of love. This is KPub PH's first anthology book project and I'm extremely grateful to be a part of this.
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To be able to publish one of my stories is already a miracle, but to be able to have my first book signing in MIBF is even more than my wildest dreams. Publishing a book was never the goal for me. I was already content in writing stories and sharing them on my online platforms.
So I wanted to thank you, my RNAs, for reading my stories. Every support you give goes a long way already, whether it be just reading, commenting, or sharing any post I make. Thank you also for those who already got a copy for themselves. By buying one, you're also supporting 20 other writers. I hope you read theirs, too! Special shoutout to KPub PH who has been so accommodating to me, whether online or in person. I'm deeply grateful that you have chosen my story from the hundreds who submitted their manuscripts. Thank you for being an avenue for me to experience such a miracle as this.
Ficlet Fridays S04
As you may have observed, I stopped posting ficlets since July. I'm officially ending Ficlet Fridays S04. I apologize for those who were waiting for the JenJer ficlets. They are still in my drafts pero iipunin ko muna sila. The main reason why I challenged myself to post a ficlet every Friday this year is to see how far could I commit myself to post regularly.
Since I'm still a student and a person who has different other responsibilities, this challenge became my gauge as to how I can be present as a writer while juggling different roles in my life. I'm doing another writing challenge, Inspired Inktober, to help me start writing about what I really want. It just wouldn't make sense for me to continue writing S04 when there's S05 already.
No worries. My remaining ficlet drafts from S04 would see the light someday.
Ficlet Fridays S05: Inkspired Inktober
For the past months, God has been dealing with me my creative calling. He has continued to affirm that He was the one who placed that desire and dream for me to pursue creatives. One of the ways my creative calling has been manifested is through the stories I create. As a daughter of the Creator, God has given me the gift to create through words and writing. And I just know that I ought to use that gift to reflect God's character and to tell God's story well.
Having a Christian creative community also encouraged and pushed me to pursue this calling. Over time, I became more intentional in the things I write. I also began to reflect and review on the things I've wrote before. So don't be surprised if I begin to unpublish certain stories on my profile.
One of the things that I wanted to do to grow in my creativity is to join Indie Beginning's Inspired Inktober for Christian creatives. Since there are no rules about mediums, interpretations, number of prompts you follow, or how often you'll create, I'll proceed with writing ficlets.
In the ficlets you'll read for Inkspired Inktober, you may expect new characters I might introduce in the (far) future. But for me, these characters have been sitting at the corner of my mind, waiting to be introduced to the world. One day, I'll share their entire stories to the world. But for now, all I could offer are ficlets--only fragments of who they are. And I'm stoked to share them to you!
Don't worry. I might also write about familiar characters you know, depending on the prompt given.
As you journey with me this Inktober, my prayer is that you would encounter God somehow in the ficlets I write.
Thank you for being a part of my creative journey. It's a privilege and an honor for you to allow me to enter your world as you enter mine.
nagkukwento, AM
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fuckinorangecat · 1 year ago
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Today was a good day.
11/09/2023
I'm contracted to teach at three different schools. My base high school, an extension school of the base school situated in the mountains and an agricultural one. Today I visited my extension school. The bus was a 45 minute journey from my base school, costing 790 yen (yeowch). I had some preconceptions about this school - I simply thought it was a school for students too rural to commute to the base school but I noticed a few of them on the bus. They got on at the town's main station which confused me. I thought "Why not just go to the base school"? Although I don't know the historical reason as to why it was actually established, it's now become a safe space for those unable to fit into the base school. It definitely gives me mixed feelings, I'm both delighted for the students to have their own space to thrive but heartbroken to find out that some of them went there because they were bullied. I guess without truly knowing the language, I haven't actually gotten a clue as to what or how anyone communicates in Japanese. But ignoring all the sad shit, the kids were absolutely wonderful. They were kind, welcoming and happy. I've only met them today but I want to try my absolute hardest for these kids. At the very least I want to show them that there are kind people all over the world, maybe they'll want to study more English if I can make them properly trust and talk to me. The classes are extremely small, second years only has two students, third year about four but today three of them were absent so I literally taught one to one. It's so strange to me that this is their reality but I'm so open to it. Due to the size of the classes/years the students all mingle together. We had sports day rehearsals today and everyone could talk to each other. There was a really quiet student who was the spitting image of a bookworm archetype. Hair that covered most of the face, facemask and a meek voice. She struggled with her volume, but no matter what she still tried to engage with me and speak English. I'm so proud of her. Everyone I called out to her to respond, every other student respected her too. No pressuring comments like "c'mon A-chan", just patience. After teaching all my classes we had lunch together which was so nice, I couldn't understand a word of Japanese but they laughed just as they always have. The history and P.E teacher joined us too. Oh yeah, it was a student that took the initiative to invite me for lunch too. Thank you so much H-chan! Oh yeah, an interesting thing about this school is that there are 4th year students. The Japanese structure for highschool only goes up to three years normally but there are some kids who obviously need more support. I met a student that graduated last year and she still visits everyone despite studying in University in the neighbouring prefecture. It really does emphasise how tightknit everyone is, in a school built in the middle of nowhere. I had this one student in particularly who was really into anime, he was so shocked to find out anime was popular overseas. He kept naming animes to see if I know or watched it and was in total awe at the amount I knew. We spoke about anime for a good hour after school finished, we also went on the same bus home so at the he took out his phone and recommended me some animes. I can't wait to study more Japanese so we can have a proper conversation. My heart feels so warm after today. I can't make it for their sports day this saturday because I'm in Osaka but I promised them all I'd bring back gifts!
I've been here for just over a month and I've only taught two lessons but I can't emphasise enough how unbelievably grateful I am for the JET Programme and the experience it's given me. The people are wonderful here in the countryside. The world really is big and I want to do everything I can here before moving to another country.
Anyway, that's enough for today. Thanks for reading.
Goodnight.
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lockejhaven · 2 years ago
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↪ 𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 / 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 --- monthly summary 02
»»—————————- 𓆩❤︎𓆪 —————————-««
Hello, my sprites! Here we are for another wrapup ❤︎
It's been quite a busy month full of progress and creation! I'm excited to see what I've accomplished, so let's get into it!
»»—————————- 𓆩❤︎𓆪 —————————-««
𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 —
➺ First of all, I created a kofi ! I’ve been more active in the community and as such, I’ve offered  to help others with tumblr theme coding, WIP graphics, and more, for free! The kofi is for those of you who would like to support what I write and do ^^
➺ In a similar vein, I created a Notion template for free use; it’s a character masterlist, includes an expanded character page template, and is completely free for any notion user.  (That said, Notion does offer a free premium membership for students, if you have a student email c;)
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➺ This month has been a major increase in activity. We welcome 52 new sprites to the Haven, for a total of 540 members! I'm elated that so many of you are interested in my work ❤︎
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➺ Along with this, I’ve reached two other milestones; 5,000 liked posts and 1,000 original posts. Honestly, I’m not too sure whether to be proud of these or not. If anything, it’s slightly unnerving to see how active I am, LOL.
➺ The writeblr list is up to 37 members and is still open to adding more! Simply fill out the form, reblog the original promo post, and I’ll tag you once I’ve added you to the Locket.
➺ North Haven Discord has reached 52 members! I’ve also worked hard to bring in new bots, reorganize realms, and allow members to share their work in a more effective manner. All writers  are welcome to join, and if you do, I ask that you reblog the promo post for it!
➺ I’ve been generally more active this month, as have all of my lovely sprites! My inbox has been absolutely overflowing with asks and I’ve got plenty of tag games to work with; I’m extremely grateful for everyone’s support, and I will always get to your asks + tags.
➺ That said, I wanted to give a few mutuals a shoutout, as my community has grown quite a bit and I’ve started interacting with even more wonderful writeblrs ❤︎
@writingpotato07 @kaatiba @ink-fireplace-coffee @andromedatalksaboutstuff @aghostwriteblr @bloodlessheirbyjacques @sweetieguk @tragicbackstoryenjoyer
Each of you have been so wonderful and supportive, and I’m so grateful to have the pleasure of sharing my works with you and to get to learn about yours ❤︎
»»—————————- 𓆩❤︎𓆪 —————————-««
𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 —
➺ I created a tag list for my writing, poetry, snippets, and more; reblog with which lists you’d like to be on! (A/N: If you want everything, you’ll be added to the ‘general’ list)
➺ Most of my writing has been fully compiled into Google Drive and Notion, with a few straggling bits of info in notebook.ai and kumu.io. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten to having everything in one, single place!
➺ All of my characters have been noted down in Notion (or, most of them) in one big masterlist; a few have linked pages, which I’ve been slowly working on expanding!
➺ Faefinder has had a major update! I made an intro, designed some covers, and even managed to post the first part! I’m still mostly in the planning stages with this one, but at the very least I have a general idea of the direction I want to go!
➺ My blog has expanded into multiple new pages, with more yet to be added! Please welcome the following to my page list…
WIP Pages A Ghost, a Quill, and a Mockingbird Angel to Mage Fable: Servant to Dragon and King Faefinder
Character Pages Archaics Inamorata StDK (Cast) Luminaries
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𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜 —
BLORBO BLURSDAY
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Myhren & Artwyn 02 Krisdi Varalei 01
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TAG GAMES
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Find the word 03 Find the word 04 Find the word 04 (2) Find the word 05 Find the word 06 URL music tags Heads Up/Last Line 01 Heads Up 02 3 images tag (01-StDK) 3 images tag (02-AtM) Pick your poison Favorite movies Deify yourself Get to know me 02
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STORYTELLING SATURDAY
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WIP Symbols WIP Progress
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WORLDBUILDING WEDNESDAY
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The Locket: Energy
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WRITING/LORE/ART
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A Bond Broken (Repost) Midnight Banners Angel to Mage Snippets StDK: The Blade GQM: Updated Intro
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POETRY
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The War w/ Wallpatternz Refusal
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OTHER ASKS/OC ASKS
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Writing questions 01 Writing questions 02 Writer’s asks 01 Adjective asks 01 Adjective asks 02 Adjective asks 03 Fall asks 01 Flustered 01 Flustered 02 Word search 01 OC asks 01
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»»—————————- 𓆩❤︎𓆪 —————————-««
𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 — --- checklist
I actually managed to make progress on my goals from this past month… 
➺ Progress w/ Character Library ➺ Continue answering asks ➺ Update The Locket ➺ Introduce a few more WIPs and Characters
𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 — --- checklist
Which means… I can make a list of new goals for the coming month!
➺ Complete a few more WIP + Character pages ➺ Post my favorite snippet c; ➺ Expand on character masterlist info ➺ Answer asks + tag games
»»—————————- 𓆩❤︎𓆪 —————————-««
This marks a two month streak on monthly wrap-up posts, which I’m super proud of! It turns out that the motivation of seeing my progress laid out is more than enough to do this, and hopefully, I’ll be able to continue this next month as well. Once again, thank you to every single one of my sprites for the support and love; I can’t wait to see what the next month holds for us ❤︎
~ Of Fables & Feathers,
🕊️ Locke J. Haven
locket’s tags:  ╔═════════════════════╗
@365runesofwritingg   @enchanted-lightning-aes   @thepixiediaries   @midnight-and-his-melodiverse   @perasperaadastrawriting@fearofahumanplanet @orphicpoieses @writeblrsupport [ your tag could be here… ]
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angelikook · 4 years ago
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Jungkook as a College Student
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The coolest broke student you've ever met.
Coolest, because it seems like he can do anything.
From academics to non-academics, he can do it all.
It even comes at a surprise because how can a person be so perfect.
And how can he manage his time?
He’s a full-time student and takes as many credits as possible just because he likes the challenge.
He’s part of the campus’ e-sports team, meaning he has practice almost every weekend and tournaments almost every month.
He’s an activist at his school, famous for talking about important topics regarding mental health issues.
Because mental health is as important as physical health, everyone.
He’s active every time there’s a blood donation event on the campus and always makes time to donate a bit of his blood.
Since he likes music so much, he joins the campus’ band.
Not as a full-time player, thankfully, because he doesn’t have enough time, but he still has plenty of rehearsals in between classes.
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And let’s not forget that he’s interested in joining the campus’ taekwondo club. Talk about being athletic.
He’s also broke, though.
He tries to find rides from his friends who happen to go to the same place as he is.
He only buys things, even things he needs to support his studies, every time there’s a discount, claiming that “they’re scamming you if you buy things not on a discount”.
He borrows essential textbooks from the campus’ library. But then he gets suspended from borrowing again because he forgets to return them.
Then he opts to borrow from the city’s library. The books aren’t in good shape, but he doesn’t know where else to buy them.
Until when a friend tells him to borrow from a senior. “They don't need the books anyways! They’re almost graduated.”
That’s when he starts to use his links to borrow books.
Oh, and, he doesn’t pay for Spotify premium.
Apparently a ‘fan’ paid for him on his last birthday and still pays for him until now.
He’s extremely grateful and wants to express his gratitude to the person directly, but he has no idea on how to find said ‘fan’.
Nearing the end of every month, when his money is thinning out and he hasn't received money from his parents, he even joins random seminars so he can get free food.
Or join any random events that offer food, basically.
But beneath all this coolness, he's still that shy kid from middle school.
Whenever he gets an invitation to join a club or to take part in an activity, he gets confused.
Sure he wants to try new things, like taekwondo, basketball, acting, etc, but he's scared to meet new people.
Afraid that they'll judge him for being bad at something since he's famous for being multitalented.
But on the other hand, he's a student and he has to learn, right?
Maybe he simply doesn't want people to see the part of him that's struggling.
Struggling to approach new people, to try new things, and even to be a leader for a club.
I mean, his phone has been ringing non-stop for the past few days because the music club wants him to be the leader.
And he's the newest member of the club!
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He also still remembers when he tried to join the e-sports team.
He was rejected and made fun of.
Sure he wasn't, like, the best, best player.
But he still could learn, right?
Plus, he never joined an e-sports team before.
Luckily, on his second try to join the team, a year later, those people who made fun of him already left the club.
And most importantly, he was finally accepted.
Despite going through all of that, he has no hard feelings.
Him not being accepted the first time is a good thing.
That way he doesn't have to be with those scums.
Not just dealing with bullies, he still has to deal with fake people.
This is worse, because they can go months undetected.
There's even a possibility that the only best friend he has on this campus is talking bad behind him!
He's trying not to think about that, though.
Surely he should've seen it long ago if it were the case.
He can't know for sure whether the people around him are fake or not.
But he had some fake people in the past.
He knows he doesn't have money, unlike those other popular kids, but he has fame.
And this fame, while can help him get past his shyness, since people come to him first, it can also backfire on him.
Like the time one kid in his class used him to get girls.
That's the worst.
He doesn't even want to think about that anymore.
It's not that he wants all the girls to himself, but come on!
He wants to have some girl friends that aren't being seduced by his fake friends.
Like a normal friendship, yes.
What about dating, you ask?
He doesn’t want to date.
Not yet, at least.
Yes, some people have asked him out, but he simply turned them down, simply saying "I'm sorry, I'm busy." and breaking their poor hearts.
There are still too many things he wants to try and a partner will only slow him down, you know?
Like that taekwondo club?
He's probably going to join it tomorrow once class ends.
And, shoot!
He forgets to prepare for his presentation tomorrow.
Guess he'll have to stay up all night again.
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rendezvous-ramblings · 5 years ago
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Hi, so I'm in a bit of a pickle. Me and Fox hugged at the front entrance at school because he was proud of me for being open about my coming out story. This year he's been awfully close, and I'm comfortable with it but I don't want him to get in trouble because of me. This is my last year and in October I'm going to be of legal age. There's a pretty small chance he likes me but the signssssss omfggggg 😩😩😩 I just like him too much and the crush is only getting more intense. Any advice? -🧶
I’ve replied to a lot of asks similar to yours. You already acknowledged that you would never want to get your tc in trouble. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to be of legal age because there’s still an authority/maturity gap between you and your tc. Your tc should never show any signs that they reciprocate your feelings that’s highly unprofessional. Also, a very bad red flag if they have supported you emotionally through a personal matter and all of a sudden they’re showing signs of romantic interest. There are instances of exploitation/manipulation and the tcc tends to forget about that. Regardless, of how you feel you need to keep your guard up in case your tc turns out to be someone you didn’t expect. I’m not saying this is your case but I’m using “you” in a general sense for whoever reads this as well. Deep down you all know an adult male/female in an established career where they’re responsible for your education/wellbeing should not be crossing any professional/physical boundaries. Especially while you’re still their subordinate in a professional dynamic.
I personally thought I was mature to handle my situation when I graduated from high school. In reality I wasn’t especially since that was my first time responding seriously to my feelings. I never had a boyfriend or any experience of the sort. I thought all my peers were ridiculous for entering so many short term relationships. I’ve listened to endless boy troubles and gave all the advice even though I was never the one in the relationship. It got extremely complicated when I was exploring my feelings with E and it took a decent amount of time for us to get past our mentality from our previous professional relationship. I’m definitely not the same person I was in the initial stages of the relationship and I had growing up to do regardless of how mature I felt I was. E still argues that I was very mature in comparison to my peers but there were times where I handle conflicts between us poorly in a juvenile way. I didn’t realize I was mimicking toxic behavior that I grew up around and how that hurt E. I’m still learning effective communication with him to this day. Thankfully, as I got to know him outside of the classroom I realized he was still someone I wanted to be around. I learned a lot of things about him that I had no idea about when I was his student and we were considered “close friends” when he still taught me.
It wasn’t all hearts and flowers and when you’re crushing on a teacher you idealize them in varying degrees (some people do it slightly others extremely). You can’t possibly know them on a highly personal level since there are a lot of things they can’t share with you given the boundaries and norms. They should be filtering themselves when sharing their personal lives/issues given your age and the professional relationship they have. Be wary of people who overshare as they may be looking for your sympathy and some individuals use that as a window for manipulation. I know this all sounds awfully negative but it’s true in unfortunate incidents.
To help with your intensifying feelings you may have to reframe your thinking. Be grateful of the friendship you have. Remind yourself of how you would never want to do anything to get your tc in trouble. That includes doing overly friendly gestures or spending excessive time with him to the point where other students and his co-workers might start talking. You definitely don’t want to put a target on your back and be a subject scrutinity. Tone things down if you have to because you don’t want others to be aware or even your tc to be aware of your crush. As that may jeopardize your friendship and ongoing professional relationship.
Hugs are a friendly gesture and amorous hugs are completely different. It would definitely register if it was amorous one. Accept that small friendly gestures such as a hug means more to you given your intense crush. That’s completely okay as you should be embracing how you feel as suppressing strong feelings is very unhealthy for your mental health. I’m glad your tc is supporting you with your coming out, however, please try not to frame all your interactions as romantic or as potential signs of him reciprocating. Be aware of moments where you’re reading too much into things or overreacting over a rather normal moment between the two of you. We’ve all been there and I’ve been guilty of that myself. Once you learn how to tone your emotional reactions down and over analyzing your interactions, the friendship becomes much more enjoyable and smoother. I’m speaking from personal experience as well since I know how overwhelming it is to have all these feelings while trying to reason with yourself. Literally feels like having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. I wish you all the best! Don’t hesitate to send another ask or dm if you need more personal help. My inbox is always open!
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dawnfelagund · 6 years ago
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Am I crazy for wanting to become a teacher? I'm taking classes for teaching certification right now, but I saw the post about ADHD and the anger there really shook me. Any words of wisdom for a young aspiring educator?
The short answer is, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. :) I adore my job and there is nothing else I’d rather do. I have so much fun with my students; laughter and joy are part of my everyday work. I’m on summer break now, and the other day, I found myself scrolling through pictures on my phone that I’d taken throughout the school year and reminiscing about the last school year and laughing anew at the things we got up to and missing my kiddos badly.
But–you probably knew there was going to be a but :)–I would be lying if I didn’t say my job is extremely hard. Teachers are notoriously bad at work-life balance. (One of my professional goals for next year is to improve on work-life balance because the year I had last year is not sustainable long-term.) I think new teachers should go into their work with eyes open to the challenges we face in our profession right now; they are not insurmountable challenges, but they are significant and tend (in my experience) to be glossed over by teacher-prep programs and school districts desperate to solve teacher shortages by harping on the “Make a Difference!!” message at the expense of acknowledging what the day-to-day reality of new teachers will actually look like.
As I said in my original post, expectations and working conditions vary widely by district in the U.S. Contrary to conservative myth, the federal government does not control or mandate curriculum (Common Core is standards, not curriculum, and also not adopted by every state)–and ironically, the biggest federal education mandate, the unfunded No Child Left Behind law, was a Republican policy–and this is controlled at the state or local level, so my experiences in the two states where I’ve taught (Maryland and Vermont) may not reflect what your experiences would be where you live.
In general, though, teachers are on the front lines of a society where people are increasingly finding it difficult to meet their basic needs and where the social safety net has been systematically dismantled. Unless you end up in a very privileged school–which is near-impossible for a new teacher–this absolutely impacts the kids you will see in your classroom every day. It most often manifests in behavior problems, either because kids in families stretched thin by poverty haven’t been taught behavioral expectations for school or because kids are acting out due to trauma and other psychoemotional problems that they are unprepared to cope with. In my experience, teacher-prep programs have done little to nothing to prepare new teachers for how to manage a classroom where kids are daily trying to cope with such challenges. (For the record, the first five years of my career were spent in a special-ed school in Baltimore for boys with emotional disabilities, so I know what extreme behavior looks like … and my teacher-prep program spent one week in one class addressing classroom management, never addressing significant behavior issues that you most likely will encounter in the classroom. While my first school had major shortcomings, I am extremely grateful that it did offer me the training I needed to be effective with the most challenged and challenging kids. I hope your program serves you better than mine did but if not, I’m happy to share resources.)
Again, the impact this would have on your as a professional depends on your district. I am lucky to work in a district that prioritizes education, so even though my school had the highest eligibility for free and reduced meals in the state last year, you would not know it from looking at my school, which does a commendable job of extending the same opportunities to our students as would a school serving a middle-class community. Most of the enrichment and social services we provide is funded through our school budget or grant money. Sadly, this is not the case for most schools in the U.S. that serve low-income populations, which is why you often hear of teachers coming out of their pockets not only for their classroom supplies but for food and clothing for their students who would otherwise go without.
Part of my anger is because of this: because how have we failed as a nation if we cannot protect the basic needs and safety of children? Yet I have had children in my care for every moment of my career who have faced hardships that would have been the end of me.
And some of the anger you sensed is because one of the other realities of our profession that no one talks about in your teacher-prep classes is how despised our profession has become–and routinely and casually so–due to right-wing slander against educators. And for whatever reason, this rhetoric has been picked up by people across the political spectrum. This is Tumblr, so I’d be willing to wager that most of the people in the original thread I was responding to would identify with the left politically, yet are fully comfortable making claims that public educators medicate kids because they’re too lazy to deal with developmentally normal behaviors. Likewise, I have had progressive friends make disparaging comments about educators directly to me, thinking nothing of it because it’s become so commonplace to assume that teachers are stupid, incompetent, and lazy that they don’t even stop to think about what they’re saying long enough to consider their audience. (To wit, the saying “If you can’t do, teach,” which an online friend–again, an outspoken progressive–actually wrote to me when congratulating me for completing my certification, apparently never stopping to consider that I might find that sentiment insulting.) But, as I noted in my post last night, we are one of the only professions remaining with strong union membership, and this makes us a threat to big-money interests that would like to skim out of our pockets in the same way they have the U.S. people as a whole and are fighting with every ounce of their being to privatize and profit from the public right to a free and appropriate education for every child in the U.S. In addition, as I noted in the tags, we are the ones teaching kids inconvenient facts about their legal rights and democratic ideals and some of the less-rosy chapters of our nation’s history, which makes us a threat to certain groups who would far prefer an ignorant, frightened populace.
Anyway, as I noted at the beginning, I would not choose to do any other work, despite the frustrations and challenges. At the core of what I believe is the potential of all human beings to influence our world for the better, no matter the color of their skin or their gender identity or the amount of money in their parents’ bank accounts when they’re born, and so I feel compelled to do this work, to put my talents and energy to offering a leg up to kids who might otherwise slip through the cracks.
If I could offer advice to a teacher-in-training, it would be this: First of all, be aware and evaluative of the amount of training your are receiving in classroom management. I can’t speak for every teacher-prep program, but the ones I’m familiar with spend very little time on this even though classroom management is the top concern of new teachers and, in my experience, the biggest reason why new teachers leave the field. Although I know that adding one more thing is probably like adding gasoline to a wildfire at this point in your career, it really is worth pursuing information on this on your own, if your program is not meeting your needs. It will make your first job so much easier (and make you so much more confident to be able to handle the challenges I described–and projecting confidence is itself a good classroom management strategy, especially if you work with older kids). As I said, I’m happy to share resources. If you have a mentor, they can help here as well.
If at all possible, student-teach in a school that is similar to the schools where you think you’ll eventually work. Another shortcoming I find with the teacher-prep programs I’m familiar with is that they stick their student teachers into the cushiest, easiest middle-class schools before casting them into a job market where they will likely start in a low-income, high-need school with significant challenges.
Talk to teachers in districts and schools where you’re considering working and find out what the strengths and challenges are. What support do they offer new teachers? (Ideally, you’ll get a mentor for at least your first year.) How much support do they offer their teachers in general? Does the administration have your back, or are they going to abandon you the moment the going gets tough? How much control will you retain over what and how you teach? Classroom management? You should be able to make adjustments to meet your students’ needs and interests; this is best practice, and if a district or school is doing otherwise, run. Does the school/district favor a positive or punitive approach to classroom management? What does the district/school see as their priorities? (Growing the whole child or raising test scores? Relationships or rigor?) How much pressure is put on teachers around test scores? How will you be evaluated and what is the philosophy around evaluation? (Assuming everyone can always grow and improve or using evaluations to punish shortcomings and mistakes?) How supportive is the administration in terms of maintaining a healthy work-life balance? What resources will you be given? Will you have a budget for supplies? How much? Are the books, resources, and technology up to date? (Is there even technology? What is the ratio of students to devices actually available to use?) What opportunities are available in the school day for the arts? Do students have access to unstructured play and social time during the day? What resources does the school offer for kids and families in need of additional social services? Are there meals available for food-insecure kids? Counseling and mental health services? After-school programs? Or will you be buying breakfast every day for your homeroom rather than imagining them struggling through their morning on empty stomachs? Asking teachers and not administrators will help get some honest answers to these questions.
And please feel free to reach out to me at any time (and this goes for anyone thinking about or starting a teaching career!). I’m a mentor in my district and so trained to coach new teachers, and if I can offer any tips or resources then I’m happy to do so.
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hussainshiyam · 4 years ago
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Conversations That Mattered.
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Originally Published on the 29th of January 2021
I am extremely bad with remembering names. I do not remember most of the people with whom I went to school. However, I am extremely good at remembering conversations/ debates/ arguments I've had throughout the years that have had an impact in shaping my thought process and ideology. The irony is that I rarely remember the person on the opposing side but their arguments are tattooed to my conscience and subconscious. Let me give you a couple of instances that reiterates what I mean.
The first conversation is one I had with friends from boarding school. I can vividly remember it. It's 1995, I am a student in KPS. The conversation was whether or not India will become a permanent member in the United Nations Security Council with Veto power in the year 2000. If I'm not mistaken, this is a topic of conversation between me and Kamalashankar Dhakad. I'm not sure if the brother remembers this or I am remembering the wrong person. Regardless of whether I am misremembering with whom I had the debate, I still took away a lot from it.
What trips me out and amazes me is how a bunch of kids in their early teens even managed to have a conversation like this. What made it so memorable was that we had no evidence to present that backed up any of our views. It was a back and forth based purely on intuition.
When I look back at those conversations, the things that stick to my head are how pure we were in the point of we had, how passionate we were, and how hopeful, confident, and sure we were that the side we represented will be proven right. These conversations never led to destroyed friendships nor did it trigger a violent response.
Yet, the most important thing I will always remember and will always be grateful for is that regardless of who I was having this conversation with, never once did anyone say to me, “of course you would say that because you are a Muslim.” and it never occurred to me to say “of course you will say that because you are a Hindu and an Indian citizen”. In the times we live in, that conversation isn’t one that can take place in the ways we did. The fact that my friends on the other side of the conversations never once questioned me being a Muslim as the reason why I would think the way I do. Never once did they think or believe that I meant harm to India because of the points I was making.
Could you imagine that topic ever being discussed publicly nowadays without the audience judging the opposition’s sincerity, honesty and patriotism.
In these times where there is a litany of important issues that are existential to the survival of the human race that needs to be openly and honestly discussed and debated, we are too busy attacking the character and beliefs of the people who are attempting to have the conversations.
What is more sinister and incendiary is that the people who are having these conversations are put through a test to determine whether they are “qualified”. And the criteria set to determine the qualification are near impossible to meet.
Like the time I had a critique of the actions of some Muslims, I had a friend call me an infidel. I couldn’t believe it. So, the next day I text the dude, “yo, did you just call me an infidel?” His response was hypocrisy personified. He replied, “So sorry, bro. I was really drunk last night”. Or the time I criticized Modi’s policies, I got a forceful rebuke from a friend which were ad hominem attacks that basically said,” you are a Muslim therefore you do net get to criticize a Hindu prime minister” and the other being “you are rich. You can never understand what it means to be poor”. As though empathy is exclusive to only those who share the same condition, the same predicament, and the same existence.
For those and many more other reasons, the friends I made in boarding school will be my friends for life. I can’t thank them enough for allowing me to have and participate in the conversations we had without attributing nefarious intent to my point of view. We had open discussions on topics we were ill equipped to have. Yet, we had them and we had a good time doing that.
I am damn sure even now I could have the same conversations with the friends from KPS. The only things that would be different are that we are older, wiser, and better prepared.
The second instance of a conversation that left an indelible mark in my psyche is one I had in 1999 with Athif and another friend of his from Sudan about Tupac Shakur and what made him the GOAT. Even before I witnessed and participated in this conversation. I was a fan of Tupac. I remember being crushed when Pac died and the reason was that with his death meant that we won’t be getting any new music from him. Later on, we learned that Pac had recorded 1000’s of songs in anticipation of his untimely death. He was correct in that assumption.
Where my fandom for Tupac came solely through his music, the conversation I was privy to participate between Athif and his friend who were living in the United States told of what made Tupac the GOAT but also what his demise meant to the black people of America. I was unaware that he was a very talented actor whose first film role as Bishop in Juice was won after an audition without a single song of his has been released yet. The producers had no clue he was a rapper, and they freely admit that had they known Pac was a rapper they would’ve asked him for a song to be put on the soundtrack as all rappers do when they are cast in a movie. The genuine admiration, love, and support they had for Tupac got me so curious that I researched who Pac was independent of music. And, what I found about his short 24 years of life and what he accomplished during that time turned me from a fan of his music to a fan of the man.
His parents were Black Panthers. His mother Afeni Shakur, while being pregnant with Tupac, represented herself in court against attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, conspiracy to bomb buildings and conspiracy. She had to win the case because had she lost, she was looking at a 300 year sentence. And win, she did. That is part of the DNA he comes from and the traditions he had to uphold. His passion for his people, his intelligence, and point of view far exceeding someone who is 24 years old. His incredible foresight, and his courage were a delight to find out. It all made sense to me and his life fascinated me. My curiosity reached its zenith when I read somewhere that the loss of Tupac Shakur had a profound effect on the community that he represented that is comparable to the losses of Martin Luther King Jr and Malcolm X. As I kept reading more and more that sentiment was perfectly understandable.
All this wouldn’t have happened had I not been privy to a conversation between Athif and his friend.
When I met Athif in December 2019 in Malaysia, I told him about it. He was surprised that such a simple conversation has had a huge impact on me. Throughout the night he kept saying, “I can’t believe you remember that”. I did remember and that conversation affected me deeply and I can’t thank the 2 brothers enough.
“It is never the things that we expect to impact us that do. It is often the mundane conversations that acts as the catalyst which leads us to what we have been searching for all along ” Hussain Shiyam, 2021
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