#The only problem is this guy’s sleep schedule is shit cause he keeps having to get up and save people

[synonymroll2121]

Some of me and my wife’s conversations but I edited them to be these two.

thank you wife for the screenshots

[jodilin65]

FRIDAY, JULY 31, 2020 Couldn’t find the meaning of my maiden name but I read that it’s an Ashkenazic variant of a similar name.

So was Norma wrong in telling me I’m not Ashkenazi? Well, 23andMe will tell me soon enough! Looks like our kits are now in San Francisco.

I had a strange dream about moving out of some guy’s place. I don’t know if we were romantically involved or how long I was staying at his place, but I know things ended on a sour note. I gathered my stuff as he stepped outside to talk to some guy, then realized I forgot a few more things, grabbed a trash bag to throw them in, momentarily contemplated stealing a soap dispenser, and then thought better of it. Then he came back in and started picking up change from a table in the living room. Then I started to pick up some of the change as well, going for the quarters first. As I did this, he stopped and went into the kitchen and I told him that the rest of the change was his.

The shitty dream was the one where I was missing Tom because he was dead and I was heartbroken and saddened by the reality of knowing I would never again be in the company of anyone who loved me unconditionally and accepted me as I was.

THURSDAY, JULY 30, 2020 Another shitty sleep with multiple wake-up calls although I’m not as tired as I was yesterday. Didn’t wake up to noise but three times to pee - yes, three times - and then just because. Even though I’m mostly anti-pills and afraid of side effects, I’ll keep the Calm Forte pills in mind Aly recommended. Checked them out on Amazon and they have great reviews. The problem is that I drink Sleepytime tea before bed since it would be pointless to drink it a few hours beforehand, and then I have to keep getting up to pee it off.

Going back to my Flintstones vitamins because I don’t think Centrum Silver is helping.

The biggest thing Tom and I think it is right now is appointment stress. I’m over-focused on trying to control my schedule and it’s messing with my sleep. I could pretty much guarantee you that if I suddenly had no appointments, I would start sleeping better. Maybe not great but better. I’ve got to try to convince myself not to worry about my schedule and let it work itself out on its own like it usually does. Also, it’s okay to be tired that one day. After all, it’s just a dental cleaning so all I have to do is kick back in the chair and open my mouth. But yeah, better to be tired one day than multiple days.

Other factors include the stress of sleeping so close to a busy street as well as an uneven mattress. I just don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a new mattress for less than a year since we intend to travel as lightly as possible.

Had a dream my TSH score was 54. I hope that’s not a sign that my thyroid is dying off some more! Hard to believe it would be 54 with treatment when it was 32 without.

Kim is causing trouble for Aly by accusing her of harassing June. She would have told me if she had done that just like I would have told her if I had, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that neither of us has the desire these days to create fake accounts to troll others. I do intend to share certain journal excerpts with the termites in the future but I would only do that from a bogus account if I unblock them and see that they’ve blocked me. Aly and I have matured, Kim has not. She never will either and the only one harassing June is likely Kim herself. She always lashes out at those that call her out on her shit.

As I told Aly, the emotionally/mentally ill are utterly frustrating and exhausting to deal with! Kim’s memory issues, contradictions, stupidity, and especially her lies, really do get old. I understand they go way back and so do Kim and me, and I’ll miss some things about her but not much. The lying alone is a huge deal-breaker for me. Even if I catch someone in a few white lies, that alone can dampen my trust in them, and it can take months or even years to repair my trust in them depending on how they treat me in the future. But whether she’s too fucked in the head to help it or not, she tells one big black lie after another and I’m like, whoa! I don’t need this toxic drama in my life any more than I need vengeful, narcissistic drama queens like the termites. Still not sure I’m ready to go so far as to block her on Twitter and PB, especially when she can just create new accounts. She gave Aly emails and passwords to three Facebook accounts she wanted deactivated that she had created in just a few days. Damn! I don’t understand the obsession with creating dozens and dozens of accounts on the same site. Aren’t one or two enough for anybody? What can 50 accounts do that one or two can’t?

As I said, I’m not going to put that much effort into hiding from her. I would rather ghost than actually do anything because blocking or saying anything could trigger a much worse reaction than ghosting. Blocking is a form of action because of something she’s done, and I don’t want to resort to that unless absolutely necessary. I shouldn’t have bothered to block her on FB, but it doesn’t matter because she’ll probably never use that account again and will only create others. I’m just hoping she’ll be punished for more than a few days, but I wouldn’t be surprised if sometime next month she contacted me.

Aly’s excited to start her new job as a preschool teacher.

Speaking of things that never end like the constant race debate, I don’t hate black people. Seriously. I hate black women. Well, not all of them. But when I think about it and if I’m really honest with others, and most importantly with myself, I’ve never had a problem with black men other than with boom stereos. I’ve even known some black guys who wouldn’t even date black women because so many of them are bitches. Now, I’ve known some really sweet black women. Don’t get me wrong. But yeah, any blacks who have given me shit were women. Girls in Valleyhead, one of my foster mothers and her evil friend, the Phoenix neighbors. A lot of them seem to be naturally vindictive, hateful, narcissistic, egotistical and arrogant in my honest opinion. I would rather sit in a room full of 50 black men than just a few black women.

“People You May Know doesn’t use things like your current location, info from third-party apps or search history to make friend suggestions. People on Facebook won’t know you’ve searched for them or visited their profile.”

Wow, really? That only adds to the mystery of Facebook, though. Dixie swears she’s never created a Facebook account, yet Dixie T was recommended to me. No, I never looked for her but how did Facebook know I knew a Dixie T? I never would have mentioned her full name on Facebook for any reason, and we certainly don’t have a mutual workplace, nor are we tagged in the same photo or members of the same groups, which they say is what their suggestions are based on.

When Doc H, Holly and Shannan were suggested to me, I first thought it was because I messaged them. And then I thought no, it was because they actually read my messages since they weren’t suggested right away. The doctor is still being recommended, but for some reason, Holly and Shannan aren’t.

Here’s where it gets really weird. One of Doc A’s nurses was recommended to me. Now what common ground do we supposedly have? Maybe because she works for Mercy Medical Group and I once shared a review of my old endo there who also works for that group?

And what about a complete stranger in Scranton, Pennsylvania being recommended to me? Unless she’s a member of the few groups I follow, I’m not sure why she would be recommended. We don’t have any mutual friends.

As I’ve recently mentioned, I’ve often wondered if the dream I had in the 90s with my grandmother telling me to pick new goals and dreams was really her from the other side. The more I think about it, though, if the dead could communicate through our dreams, why not more messages like, “I love you and I miss you?” Or how about, “Don’t take those vitamins, take these instead because they’ll be better for you?” Why not that instead of just, “Pick new goals and dreams?”

Tom needed a few things from Amazon so I’m getting more nail strips. It’s just a $6 pack with a set of gold metallic nails and a set of silver ones.

My weight is now starting to go down but that’s probably because I’ve been totally in ketosis these last couple of days. Maybe it would gradually keep going down if I stuck to it but just like it’s hard to stick to a low-calorie diet due to being hungry, it’s hard to stick to this because of the lack of variety.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 29, 2020 Our DNA should be headed down to Los Angeles now. Can’t wait for the results! I answered more questions than 30% of other site members while Tom answered more than 59%. Well, it’s probably a lot easier for him when he doesn’t have as many diseases as I do.

Anyway, I’m expecting Russia and Austria the show up and maybe other countries in Eastern Europe, but I can’t imagine what else I may have in me.

The panels for the corner fence are arriving today instead of yesterday. Both panels are in Navajo White and will be 8 feet by 4 feet.

The Ocean nails arrived and they’re beautiful. I love how they make a panoramic scene when they’re side by side. This is definitely a photograph and not some fancy artwork. The longer the nail, the better, so I think I’m going to put them on this weekend. Next weekend will be when I put the gradients on and cut the nails and the edges off the strips.

Dixie is still insisting she’s had people prowling around her property at 3 in the morning that she believes are homeless and who have been camped out on the golf course or in the cemetery. She says she talked to a cop about it and that they said something about stepping up the patrol.

I’m still not concerned because we don’t have anything of value that’s unlocked and I’m not out at night anymore, not that I would be afraid of anyone as long as they didn’t pull a gun on me or there wasn’t more than one of them.

I messaged Mrs. Twenties out of curiosity, though. She’s part of the neighborhood watch, so I wanted to see if she knew anything about it. I messaged her right after she went to bed, so I don’t expect to hear anything until the morning.

I’m exhausted, as I seem to spend a third of my life being, so I’m hoping to fall asleep earlier and get up at the same time. I didn’t want to let myself sleep any later for fear of messing up my schedule for my appointment, and of course my bladder wouldn’t let me. If I wake up toward the end of my sleep having to pee, it’s not always easy to fall back asleep even if I’m still tired. Either way, this fatigue really seems a bit extreme and debilitating. I don’t remember lack of sleep or not sleeping well being this hard on me. I’m even more baffled by the fact that I usually can’t take a nap despite being exhausted. There have been times when I’ve been less exhausted, yet I’ve napped. I just don’t understand.

More days without pet care would be helpful, especially when it’s such high-maintenance ones that are so much work. I can’t just take them out to do their business or dump a litter box. I have to change cages and sometimes wash than as well. I have to wash supplies, bathe the pigs, trim their nails, and it just goes on and on and on. I don’t regret the rat, but the pigs I sometimes do. They cost a fucking fortune as well as require so much care. If I had energy more often, I wouldn’t mind nearly as much.

Is this going to go on for the rest of my life? Am I going to be utterly exhausted every two to three days for the rest of my life?

It’s no wonder I was so hungry yesterday since I didn’t even have 1000 calories. I ate a lot, but they were low-calorie things. I’m not gaining or losing weight, so I’m not worried about that too much. Especially since I’m not nearly as hungry today.

I blocked Kim on Facebook and Messenger. The account that she disabled. That way she can wonder where the hell I am when she reactivates it, assuming Aly doesn’t tell her and at this point, I don’t think she would share anything I didn’t want to be shared with her. She’ll probably just create a new account, but I totally agree with and understand Aly’s reluctance to get involved with June or the sister since the sister seems almost as unteachable as Kim. It doesn’t get that she’s been way too easy on Kim and that people like that need to be prevented from being online. Forever. Not just some of the time but all of it. She could take a week off, she could take a year off, and she’s never going to change. Any time she can get online, she’s going to create her so-called “role-playing” accounts and pretend to be other people.

I thought about blocking her on Twitter and PB because I’ve absolutely had it with the emotionally and mentally fucked in the head and I don’t care how cold and calloused that may sound. Just like some people feel they deserve better than those that do drugs, lie, or have other character traits they don’t care for, I have just as much right to be picky and choosy as to who I associate with and I think I deserve better than the Kim’s of this world. :-) But because of how far back we go and fears of karma, I decided to leave that alone for now, even though the smart thing to do would be to walk away. She’s a habitual liar. Like most people, I have no tolerance for that shit. Guess for now I’m just going to enjoy the break from her.

A white pickup came in next door in the middle of the night last night. Heard the blower in the afternoon and went to look out the window to see who it was, hoping Bob was back to his usual self and tending to his yard, but knowing that was unlikely. I only caught a glimpse of the person’s backside as they were rounding the corner, and it didn’t seem to be Bob based on how they moved. I think it was Rich Boy. It’s dark over there tonight and I can’t see if anything is in the carport.

The different vehicle is still at Dahl’s place and there hasn’t been any sawing that we know of. Maybe he is away somewhere, and he has a pet bird someone’s taking care of while he’s gone.

We got a letter from the park saying we’re getting a $30 discount each month for a year, but they didn’t say why. Maybe it has to do with the virus or maybe it has to do with all the complaints they’ve no doubt racked up due to the water outages or whatever. I just hope to hell they can stay out of the streets while we’re still here, and if there’s just one more complaint!

We should be gone in a year from now, but the discount applies if you sell your place as well. I’m not exactly sure how, but I guess you don’t have to pay certain fees or something like that.

TUESDAY, JULY 28, 2020 I read that you have 1-3 years to file a claim against someone for libel, depending on what state you live in, but what I wonder is this… If Person A libels Person B (Person B lives in a state that allows up to 1 year) in a post that’s private and then makes it public 6 months later and then 8 months later it’s seen by Person B, does the time count from when it was actually published even if it was done privately at first? Or from the time it was made public for anyone to see?

I also wonder about backdating. If you post something in June that you backdate to last January, do they check that and does it matter?

No, this doesn’t pertain to anything going on with me at the moment. I’m just curious as is my nature to be.

Aly said Kim’s sister found her Kindle and took that away along with her phones. Her only way online is through her Smart TV, but she can only use Twitter’s app. She’s surprised she knows how to use the app through that and figures someone must have shown her. Of course she’s asking Aly to contact June which isn’t going to happen. I don’t see any tweets from Kim since the 25th but that’s okay. We’re both enjoying the break from her. Sometimes silence really is golden!

In the last couple of days, I’ve been really hungry for some reason, although I’m not gaining weight despite all I’ve eaten. This means something’s going on to cause my body to burn more calories but I’m not sure what. Tom, who never gets hungry and eats just because he likes to eat, says all the working out he’s been doing on the Bowflex has been making him hungry. Yep, that will do it! Same with stress or a lot of thinking. I do focus a lot on my writing so who knows? It’s most likely due to hormones as I go further into menopause. But come on, already! Enough is enough! I shouldn’t be this hungry this often.

Made the mistake the other day of saying the power was off until 3:45. It was actually off until 4. It was off for a total of 1 hour and 45 minutes.

Twitter Annie is definitely not Blogger Annie. Twitter Annie is in Sweden and Blogger Annie is in Canada.

The new house was brought in today and Tom didn’t even know it until he stepped outside and saw it. They must have slipped in from the back because nothing woke me up. I’m relieved that the damn thing is finally here even though I’m sure someone else will wake me up around here sooner or later.

Walmart is both shitty and not. Lately, their red meats have been tough as hell, but I don’t get that very often anyway. They gave me tons of zucchini even though I only ordered one which is nice. Better to put up with them because no store is perfect, and you save a ton of money this way.

Over the next two weeks, fencing supplies will be delivered to us for the back corner when we replace the old rotted fence there. It’s not a very big area at all. Eventually, we’re going to put gravel down along the carport.

The DNA kits came today which were simple enough to use. There was a little funnel attached to a small tube. You spit up to the fill line after you’ve made sure not to eat or drink for a half-hour. Then you close the cap on the funnel until you hear it click. It then releases a chemical into the stick that helps protect the DNA in various temperatures. Since we couldn’t fit it in the outgoing mail slot of the mailbox here, we drove to a mailbox in a residential area. It was still warm out, but it should be okay. It’s down to 71 degrees but it’s going to get up to 100 tomorrow. I don’t know what time that box is picked up. I’ve lived in places where the mail came as early as 9:30 in the morning and other places where it didn’t come until the late afternoon.

After you release the chemical, you twist off the funnel, cap the tube, and send it back in the box it came in. We created accounts and registered the kits. I did their survey which had a ton of medical questions. My main reason for doing it is for medical analysis. It would still be cool to find out where I’m from and the percentages of what countries I’ve got in me, but I don’t care about specific relatives, famous, infamous or not. In fact, we both opted out of allowing relatives to look us up. He doesn’t want his family contacting him and I don’t want mine contacting me.

We did give them permission to store our DNA and to use it for research.

MONDAY, JULY 27, 2020 Looks like Rich Boy is in the carport next door. Nancy was there, too.

And the folks are “fine?”

Anyway, I’ve dubbed him “Rich Boy” because he has an expensive Range Rover.

Looks like I’ve got a new… I don’t know whether to say fan or hater. They say they’re reading me but then they claim I’m a horrible person and they have the right to say so because of freedom of speech, not that I would be offended.

Well, as I told them, yes, they have a right to tell someone they think they’re a horrible person even if not all of what they insist they are is quite true, but they are entitled to their opinion, and no, I’m not offended. I don’t even know this person.

This is what I love about allowing anonymous comments; people tell you what’s really on their minds when they can hide under a cloak of anonymity, though they did sign off with a first name, real or not, of Annie. But would they be so open like this on PB where I could block them if I wanted to?

An “Annie” was suggested to me on Twitter and I’m guessing it’s the same Annie since the one on Twitter seems to be European and the comment times are matching up to someone in the Netherlands.

Not sure why anyone would read me that thought so poorly of me but I’ll be the first to admit that no, I’m not a perfect person, and yes, sometimes I lack tolerance for some things just like we all do whether we’re willing to admit it or not. And yes, sometimes I just don’t give a shit about some things and some people. I’m no better or worse than your average human being. I have strengths and weaknesses. I have likes and dislikes. I have good traits and bad traits. I handle some things well while other things I have no patience for at all.

We had a power outage from 2:15 a.m. to 3:45 a.m. last night. Not sure why but it definitely prompted me to get some new candles because the two we have were no good. The wicks were buried in melted wax and were pretty old anyway. So I got a twin-pack of Glade candles. One is lavender and the other is Peach Blossom. Even so, I never found candles to give off much fragrance, probably because the heat source is above the scented part and not below.

Forgot to write about the drone dream I had a couple of nights ago. I don’t know where we were living, but instead of a skylight in the ceiling, there was a whole strip of ceiling that was glass and you could see a large portion of the sky. The sky was very bright and starry. I heard this whirring sound and was trying to figure out what it was. Eventually, I found a small circle of lights that blended in with the stars and realized it was a drone. The more I examined the sky, I could eventually make out dozens of them, even though I could just barely make them out.

Also had a dream the shithead across the street was sawing again and I went to tell Tom about it, but he was at work, so I Skyped him.

Then I had a dream where I had an “impacted” ring fingernail. This wouldn’t be possible in real life as the nail lifting would have to be way higher than possible, but in the dream, the tip of a second nail growing underneath was poking out.

I said to Tom, “See, there’s always one thing after another with me.”

So Kim’s in trouble again. This is no surprise, of course. Aly said something about her deleting her Facebook account for role-playing which probably really means pretending to be someone else and I guess her sister took her phone away as well because of the June drama. Good. A little break from her can’t hurt. But how is she going to create a new Facebook account like she told Aly she would without her phone? Use her Kindle? She said something about a different texting app as well, but she hasn’t contacted me anywhere. I can see that her account as well as her picture group is gone. I was getting just as sick of the picture group because there were too many repeats.

Went down 1.5 pounds.

Just took the bike out. Anyway, not only is there a different vehicle at Dahl’s house (at least I think it’s different because it’s so dark it’s hard to tell for sure) but that’s just the thing. It’s not normal for that place to be pitch black like it is. He always has a bright light in back and in front as well. So yeah, hopefully the neighborhood psychic wasn’t very kind to him with her spells. We’ve been seeing this vehicle for the last few days, but we don’t know who it is. First it was in addition to the gold van and now it’s instead of. Maybe he just got a new car. As for the darkness…I don’t know. He’s probably been sawing when I’ve been asleep, but Tom hasn’t been able to hear it from his room and with the headphones on. I can’t believe he would go this long without sawing unless yes, something was definitely wrong. Could also be that Dahl’s out of town and they’re housesitting, though I don’t know why they’d need to housesit. He has no pets that I know of.

SUNDAY, JULY 26, 2020 I’m not saying I’ll never return to PB. I still use it to back up private stuff. I’ve met a lot of nice people there and I’ll miss all the comments I would get, but for now, I just want a place where I can get away from the few assholes running around there. Yes, it’s pretty dead in other places in comparison but as I said before, I feel I have more freedom there. Freedom to be me without being judged. Again, I thank those who have cared enough to follow and support me even though I don’t know what’s so exciting about the life of an aging, eccentric homemaker with some health issues, LOL.

I was kind of surprised, although I guess I shouldn’t be, to learn that others are also fed up with the censorship and the constant judgment when you have a different opinion. You don’t have to literally break rules to get crucified by some people over there. Just try writing that you’re anti-looting, violence, destroying businesses and history, and you’re an automatic hater who’s doing nothing but spreading hate. Oh, and it’s automatically assumed that this means you’re okay with cops killing people too. Rolls eyes

And I’m absolutely sick to death of hearing how “privileged” I supposedly am for being white. I have faced many of the same kinds of abuse, struggles and hardships that almost everybody endures in life.

For whatever it’s worth, I’ve never hated anyone for their color or nationality. But I sure have hated some people for their personality and behavior. No doubt about that!

Soon I’m going to make an omelet but I’m going to stuff it with mushrooms instead of cheese since cheese is said to be one of the bad fats that elevate cholesterol levels.

I decided that weekends will be when I change nail designs. They could probably look good enough for up to 10 days, but I think closer to a week is best and that’s about when I would change regular nail polish too.

Right now I have applied a gradient lavender to sky blue with some gold lines, stars and other accents on some of them, though I had to flip them around. It seems most people’s cuticles are square and that their nails narrow toward the tips but it’s the other way around for me. I have rounded cuticles that slightly fan out towards the tips. The only nails that have squarish cuticles are my thumbs. Since my nails grow fast and they’re getting kind of long again, I decided that next week I’ll put the gradient glitter on and cut the ends off. These are the ones that are thicker and harder to file off the edges. I’ll still have to trim them narrower though.

Looking for Kindle Unlimited books can be just as frustrating as TV shows with so many of them set in England. I know some English words but still. Their English isn’t exactly like US English, and the narrated ones really pissed me off with the foreign accents. There doesn’t seem to be an option that I can find to have Alexa read them to me instead, which I prefer. I like how I can not only understand her well but also make her read a little faster if I want.

The rodents, depending on their bedding and size, have their different changing schedules. Blitz, who has a fleece liner, is done every 3 days. Fuzzy and Rockefeller have paper bedding. Fuzzy is done every 10 days, Rockefeller once a week. Rockefeller made me laugh and pissed me off when I went to change him since yesterday was his day to be changed. He and Fuzzy have trays in their cage that we dump. I decided to shuck a piece of corn and throw the husk in his cage and dump it all together. I thought Rockefeller would have absolutely no interest in eating corn husk but the instant I put it in his cage he started gobbling it up as if he hadn’t eaten in years. So I also shared with the other two and then waited for him to eat a bit before I changed him.

Then, even though there usually isn’t a problem when I pick him up, he screamed at me. I don’t know if I picked him up wrong or what but not only did he scream at me, the bastard decided to pee all over me as well. Fortunately, I was about to do laundry anyway.

Anyway, I’m tired today. Yeah, what else is new? This is the 10th day I’ve been tired since June 20th when I started marking my tired days on my calendar to see just how sadly common it is with me. I actually fell asleep earlier and slept for a long time. It’s just that I kept waking up so many times along the way, twice to pee but not from noise. Quality of sleep definitely matters more than quantity. It was almost a wasted 10 hours, sleeping on and off from 6 to 4.

Dixie said to come down in the evenings anytime I want because I really “make her whole day better.” Aw, ain’t that nice of her? I was also glad to hear that Diane is settling back down again to her usual self. Dixie thinks she acted up due to withdrawing from Zoloft.

SATURDAY, JULY 25, 2020 Slept better than I expected. Yes, I was up a long time and after 19 hours I took a baby Benadryl. Slept for about 7 hours and even managed to sleep through the trash and green waste pickups which Tom said was a very loud and long-drawn-out ordeal. They’re still working on prepping for the house too, of course.

Visited Dixie for an hour tonight and last night as well. Went over at 7:30 and left at 8:30. It was beautiful out, but when Tom and I headed out for a walk shortly afterward, I realized it was a little too warm for walking and even a bit humid too. Felt great just sitting and chatting, though.

I just wish she wouldn’t bring up politics so much. It’s too depressing to over-focus on the shitty world we live in. But it’s her right to talk about what she wants and I’m not such a pussy that I had to get all offended over it either. And of course the half a dozen planes and helicopters made it hard to hear everything she said because she’s so soft-spoken. Otherwise, it was a pleasant visit. She watered the front of her place and a family of little sparrows really enjoyed it.

She told me more about Diane’s situation and how hard it is on her to deal with someone who is mentally ill and as I was saying to Tom and Aly, I get that they can’t help being born the way they are, but I can’t deal with them. Whether someone annoys or puts you out deliberately or because that’s just the way they are, well, you’re still annoyed or put out and it still sucks either way. Of course if I dare say on a site like PB that those with emotional problems or mental illness have always been a problem for me, I’d be called a hater. So what if I should have the right to be selective in who I associate with? rolls eyes But it’s true that there’s just no reasoning with them or getting through to them. Marie would be fine some of the time and then when her paranoid and accusatory side would come out, it was like I was dealing with a whole different person.

Anyway, I’ve never cared for Subway, but Dixie was kind enough to give us some of their unwanted free food from Subway. Tom likes some of their stuff. I didn’t care for the chicken sub, but he likes the breakfast sandwiches. I thought I would at least like the salad until I stupidly used their salad dressing thinking it was Russian when it was this horribly spicy stuff so I couldn’t eat it.

Gotta definitely get back on a low-carb diet because my weight is starting to climb again. Carbs and sugar are definitely my worst enemies. No more binging and having a variety for a while. I actually did some promising research that said that having eggs shouldn’t be a problem for those with high cholesterol because it doesn’t elevate the cholesterol in the blood, but saturated fats can. So I want to limit my red meats, processed foods, and things like milk and cheese.

It would definitely be a lot easier to go keto if I could have bacon and eggs for breakfast since the extra protein keeps me feeling fuller for longer. The only problem I may run into is a lack of fiber so I may have to get some chickpeas or beans or something like that once a week, but they say that’s okay to do. It’s okay to re-carb once a week. I just can’t get carried away with it multiple days in a row or have sweets.

So an omelet it is for breakfast if I don’t have bacon and eggs, and then in the middle of the day, I’ll have a meal bar and fruit. My second and final meal will be meat and veggies. I’ll have more chicken and fish as opposed to beef and pork.

On my way back from Dixie’s place yesterday, I briefly met Bob and Virginia’s son. I could see an obvious resemblance to Bob. He’s very tall, thin and wiry. I asked how his parents were doing and he says they’re fine. He got a phone call right as I called out to him, so we didn’t get to chat.

That would be great if they were fine but if they were fine then why is he practically living there now and why does a nurse come out every day?

He had a 10-minute video job interview and is hoping he doesn’t get the job because even though it would be a lot of money and great benefits being a government job, it could really delay the move. Because he doesn’t want it and because I want to move, maybe he’ll get it then. He can’t say no if they want him because then they’ll pull his unemployment.

When he retires I’ll be able to get SSI. It might be just pennies but anything we can get will help make our golden years more golden.

We ordered the 23andMe kits so I’m definitely looking forward to that! I’m more interested in where I’m from and the health analysis than what the names of my ancestors were or what went on in their lives.

Tom said there’s this company where if you send them a picture of your face, they’ll print you a mask with the bottom part of your face, LOL.

The second to last set of nails came the other day and they’re very nice. Not great but nice and they’ll definitely fit. They actually look a little nicer in person than online, but there are some neutral tones that Aly would probably like better than I do (if she likes nail strips to begin with). There are a couple of peachy pink colors that are so light they may not stand out well against my pale skin.

Day 5 of the rainbow nail strips and they’re still looking good except that my right thumb and index finger are starting to peel back at the tips. The ocean nail strips are coming tomorrow so I’ll change them then.

Went for a bike ride a couple of nights ago and did some walking earlier so I think I’ll hit the Bowflex and skier later.

THURSDAY, JULY 23, 2020 Written just after midnight last night:

Just lying here knowing that sleep is going to elude me for several more hours despite being tired. I wonder how many hours of sleep I’ll get before that fucking truck wakes me up again that’s working on prepping for the new house. At least I think that’s what it was that woke me up the last time around. It was like a freight train blasting through the bedroom, even with the sound machines blaring.

A nurse was next door at 8:30 p.m. Pretty sure it was a nurse anyway. I saw her heading into their place with a bag of something. She was wearing a plastic shield. A nurse being there that late can’t be very good. They’ve also been having that navy SUV stay there overnight and I’ve seen Nancy’s car there every day.

Makes me think one of them is dying and I can’t help but remember, shortly after learning of Bob’s tumor, me saying to Tom, “I have a bad feeling about this. I just picture him gone by August and the house on the market by the end of the year.”

Well, it’s close enough to August but I don’t know which one is on their way out if that’s really the case. Maybe Virginia’s heart is failing, I don’t know. I’m not about to go over there and pry for information. It’s a sad situation either way. Both of them can’t have much longer to go. The selfish side of me worries about what we may end up with over there before we can get out of here.

I was telling Tom that if we’re going to hire a realtor to find us a place in Florida, let’s really get the money’s worth out of them and not have them look for just some of what we want. I’d like them to tell us if they see a motorcycle too close to the house. I realize that if a potential neighbor has got one hiding in their garage or they’re out at the time they’re checking the place out or they have loud visitors that aren’t around at the time, they may not know much of anything with just a glance. But if they do happen to see anything, we could steer clear of the place. My sleep is cursed enough without the wake-up calls.

Tom has a video interview on Friday but doesn’t expect to get the job and not just because he’s older and white. It’s a government job that probably pays a shitload of money so there would be tons of applicants.

I can’t see it ever happening but sometimes I really wish Aly lived nearby. That would be totally awesome! A friend who gets me, doesn’t judge me, and wouldn’t bug me in any way. On top of that, she’s super smart and not mentally ill. She may have her emotional moments but so does everybody. Oh, I’m gonna pretty damn emotional, alright, the day we fly away forever!

I’m excited because we’ve decided to get one of those DNA testing kits from 23andMe, though we haven’t ordered them yet. It’s something we’ve been wanting to do for quite some time. One of the Lifetime movies I recently watched, Mommy’s Little Princess, made me determined to check into it. In the past, I never gave a shit about ancestry and things like that but the technology behind it is quite fascinating. It just seems interesting in general and the kit we’re interested in, which is $200, also provides a health analysis. It would be interesting to see what diseases they say I’m most at risk for, but I think I can guess that it’s going to tell me I’m most likely to have a heart attack or a stroke.

Ancestry itself where you learn the names of past generations (famous or not) wouldn’t interest us as much as learning what percentage of each region we’re from.

Tom learned his last name means “pusher,” LOL. Not as in drug pusher but like those that push carts and things like that. Also, most people with his last name lived in Pennsylvania, which was a bit surprising to learn.

Another thing I’d like to have one of these days is an Apple watch, but it can wait. We still don’t want to spend too much on unnecessary things.

I looked up sleep spells and whatever tips I could find. Most sleep spells are just a chant, some requiring a white candle along with it.

On Healthline, there’s a sleep exercise called the Military Method designed for those in combat who need to sleep sitting up. They say it worked after 6 weeks even with coffee and gunshots in the background. Going to give this a try in another hour or two. In fact, I’m too tired to edit this right now. Going to start winding down with my audiobook and will post this at some point in the afternoon.

Written this afternoon:

Fell asleep around 1 a.m. and didn’t get up till 12:30. I was so exhausted so I’m not surprised I slept so long. I still woke up a million times along the way, twice to pee, and once because I smelled the strong scent of the body wash Tom has been using. It’s amazing noise didn’t wake me up because Tom said there was plenty of loud traffic. They’re pouring cement in preparation for the new house, and there were some tree-cutting trucks that seemed to be lost and going back and forth.

Dixie said she would call me because Diane fell this morning and had some bleeding. So I don’t know if I’ll be seeing her this evening but watch, because I got caught up on sleep and I’m not as tired as yesterday, I’ll be up until between 6:30 and 8:30 in the morning. And I was up for 21 hours the day before, not 20. Seriously, though, I’ll be up forever, sleep shitty and probably get woken up by the garbage trucks, then I’ll get to spend my day totally exhausted.

Aly wrote a super short revenge story on Kim where she dumps her but says dumping her would be a “hassle” so she’s just gonna scale back to 2-3 check-ins a month. Me too. I’ve definitely had an overdose of Kim’s June rants. If I ever did dump her, though, I would simply ghost her. I probably wouldn’t even unfollow her on Twitter, and I’ll never let her be connected to me on Facebook, so all I would have to do was just go quiet.

Another report from Dixie saying Diane had a complete meltdown, is with Linda and Walt for now, and waiting to hear back from Diane’s doctor. I told her to take her time getting back to me.

Wonder what disasters will have to happen before Dixie finally smartens up and gets them both into assisted living like so many have suggested she should.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 22, 2020 Thanks, God, for cursing me with a sleep disorder and adding insult to injury by making me the lightest sleeper on earth too. Thank you for allowing insanely loud service trucks to disrupt an already disrupted sleep. I needed that. Be sure to keep the chronic insomnia going! After all, I’m such a horrible, horrible person that I must deserve to spend half my life or more exhausted, right? Right? So keep it up.

Meanwhile, don’t you dare mess with the sleep of those whose worst problem in life is being reeled in by the leash for obsessively sending a million postal and digital messages. After all, nothing is ever Kim’s fault and she should have the right to harass poor old ladies whenever the hell she wants. Shame on you for letting her sister make her do chores! And damn you to hell for forcing her to go on walks too. She doesn’t need that drama in her life. What the hell were you thinking, “God?”

In the meantime, please continue to show your love and support by allowing my sleep to be disrupted regularly, if not by traffic then just for shits and giggles. Bless me with motorcycles and a variety of loud projects when we get to the tester house in Florida so it’s hard for me to test just how often the thunderstorms wake me up when I’m already being woken up plenty enough as it is. Oh, and don’t forget the health issues! Lavish me with plenty of those too. I want ‘em all. New ones, repeats of old ones; just gimme a damn good variety. Pain, discomfort, exhaustion… Be generous because come on, we both know I deserve those things, don’t we? Why don’t you also bring back the anxiety while you’re at it? It’s perfect for a worthless piece of shit like me.

sighs with frustration There are three kinds of insomnia from what I read. Excitement insomnia, grief insomnia, and chronic insomnia. Unfortunately, I have the last one where I have a mix of trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up too soon, and not waking up refreshed. I don’t know that this shit will ever go away. It did say that we sleep less restfully as we age, as I’ve always heard, and are more likely to wake up from noise. Well, I know the days of sleeping soundly without waking up even for a second are long gone. Haven’t done that since somewhere in my late twenties or early thirties. I’m amazed that Tom still sleeps well, though he does wake up for a few seconds here and there at times.

I’ve been alternating between sleeping shitty and being tired the next day, and then sleeping better, having more energy the next day, but then being up 18-20 hours. I was up for 20 hours last night and got up after 6 hours of shitty sleep.

My new multivitamin made me nauseous yesterday, so I took today’s with a full meal and had no problem.

I appreciate Aly thanking me for my friendship. Her nail strips will finally be going out tomorrow. But poor Dixie. I’m so exhausted that I don’t know when I’m going to be able to get down to visit with her. I called about this evening since all I’d do is just sit there and chat, but she’s got company. So we’re on for tomorrow, I guess.

Aly and I agreed to ghost Kim until she’s tucked in bed for a perfect night’s sleep on Thursday. Instead of swapping the same old shit with her on a daily basis, I may only check in every 2-3 days. I asked Tom if he would ghost someone who was annoyingly repetitious with long, repetitive and rambling messages and if he didn’t like the mentally ill and he said he wouldn’t. So I decided I’ll do intermittent ghosting with Kim and never say a word about June or in response to June, not that it would register with the dumb shit as to why. I got two more rambling messages waiting for me when I got up with the same shit she’s been saying… it’s all everyone else’s fault but hers, she’s innocent of what she’s accused of, and yes, she thinks it’s time to forget June. eye roll

Too tired to write everything I wanted to write about tonight, so I’ll leave it at this. Like most projects around here, I’m sure this shit will go on for weeks and that they’ll wake me up tomorrow too. So fucking sick of being woken up every time someone does a project around here!!! Next year can’t come fast enough. As long as we don’t end up next to anyone with a motorcycle or a circular saw, it should be an improvement. Or a regular visitor on a motorcycle. Otherwise, we could go from bad to worse. At least we won’t be in a park for long. Then it just comes down to how that climate affects my asthma and my sleep with all the thunderstorms.

TUESDAY, JULY 21, 2020 Yesterday afternoon we crept along behind California’s typical slow drivers over to Roseville to see Dr. A. Because my appointment was late in the afternoon, she was behind schedule.

When she finally came in, she felt around my neck but didn’t find any lumps which was good. She doesn’t think an ultrasound is necessary at this time. What surprised me was that she thinks it may be arthritis.

Arthritis causing a bulge to be noticeable in my neck? And what about that scratchy feeling I occasionally get when I swallow? I do trust her not to have found any lumps, but I never would have guessed arthritis. I guess it’s possible when you think about the fact that arthritis is inflammation and that swells up, which would account for feeling a little bulge in that area. But even when it’s the least noticeable, it’s still noticeable, so yeah, a surprising diagnosis. At least my gut feeling was right on again in that it wasn’t anything serious.

She felt compelled to do a breast exam since I told her I had a sore spot at the side of one boob that I thought was a swollen lymph node, and damn was that uncomfortable! She didn’t feel anything questionable, but I would think that this late in life I wouldn’t be so damn sensitive when they’re pressed on like that. I could cup them with my hands and press on them and it doesn’t hurt at all. It’s only if they’re pressed in concentrated little spots.

A couple of nights ago I had a quick spike in HR for the first time in a while. I started to get that weird feeling come over me that’s kind of hard to describe and then my heart pounded for a couple of minutes. By the time I checked my blood pressure my HR was down to 95. It started to get a little scary but not as scary as it used to be when I wasn’t sure what it was and before I had EMDR.

It’s amazing I didn’t get sick yesterday when I decided to go on a binge. I hadn’t eaten much all day because I didn’t want my weight to be up at the doctor’s office. It was actually down. So I made up for lost time with four slices of pizza, a candy bar, and some Fritos. I wouldn’t even dare touch any of the wine I got at Rite Aid on the way home from the doctor because I knew I would be needing Tums if I did.

Another surprise was that I woke up with my weight down a little more. I was famished by the time I binged yesterday after having just a piece of fruit and a small pork chop all day. I’ve been binging once or twice a week for centuries now and it hasn’t killed me yet. I just don’t think I could stick to low carbs indefinitely because I would miss having more variety and I don’t want to overdo the cholesterol. I’m having way too much of that as it is. But if I go keto or Atkins, I could really be putting my heart at risk and it’s not worth it. I know it would help my blood pressure even more and put me at less risk of new diseases if I lost just a teeny bit of weight but even if I did that, that weight loss would still have to be maintained through almost equally as hard work and I just can’t see myself slaving for what may not amount to much in the end, if anything at all.

They’re starting to prep for the new house and for the most part they’ve been surprisingly quiet about it. They’re quieter today than they were yesterday. Yesterday there was some jackhammering because they had to remove the cement retaining wall. The dimensions of the new house aren’t going to fit the old dimensions exactly, so they’re digging in the crawl space and busting out cement. They left the loud vehicles there overnight, so they didn’t go roaring by the bedroom this morning before I got up. But between the loud traffic yesterday and their work, it almost sounded like old times around here.

With over 15 million coronavirus cases worldwide and the fact that the summer hasn’t slowed it down goes to show it’s not the flu. However, Tom said he read that there are a few very promising vaccines and that the UK could be fully vaccinated by the end of the year. I just hope this shit doesn’t interfere with moving!

I did have an encouraging dream where I was out walking and as I was coming back to the house, I was delighted to find a for-sale sign at our place as it was sooner than expected.

I mentioned my fatigue to Doc A, and she said there are multiple things that can cause fatigue but that trying the Centrum Silver can’t hurt. Then we’ll see what my numbers say in October. I’m a bit worried about that. I just really hope I’m not calmer these days because my thyroid has died off some more. And of course there are the glucose and cholesterol numbers and God knows what else to worry about as well.

I’m frustrated that the stamps haven’t arrived yet and that they have to come all the way from Kansas when there are post offices everywhere, but then I realized it may be because of the design I chose… Year of the Rat.

Kim is getting to both Aly and me with her regular June obsession. Aly is at her wit’s end with her and almost ready to dump her because she’s tired of the long, rambling and repetitive messages about her, and her behavior denial. Kim told us both that her sister feels she’s harassing June and put a tracker on her phone so she can see who she texts and how often. She’s been ordered to text June only once a month. June complained to Carol about the excessive snail mail and digital messages.

Aly and I don’t doubt for an instant that Kim’s getting carried away with stalking and harassing June. I know from first-hand experience that Kim is notorious for harassing, stalking and getting overly fixated on whoever, just as Molly has. I just don’t get how she can be so stupid and blind to her ways. How can she not see how she is?

She’s at risk of losing her phone which Aly and I hope she does so we can get a break from her for a while not that it would teach her anything. She’s as unteachable as unteachable gets. Hell, a fucking dog is smarter than she is! But doesn’t she still have a Kindle hidden away in her closet somewhere?

So I joked, although seriously, with Aly about ghosting her together for a week and then contacting her asking why we haven’t heard from her, LOL.

Just got another message from her. I told her, “Come on, you and I have both been known to harass others online in the past,” and I totally admit I’m guilty of that. So she replies with, “Haha, I remember the drama with Molly and Kathy. We were just having fun. No harm was done.”

But she doesn’t remember stalking and harassing me for years, right? Hey, why should she when she just asked me how my chocolate coffee was right fucking after I told her I didn’t care for it? Fucking dumbass idiot!

I’m torn between ghosting her for good and not. A part of me would feel guilty even though I shouldn’t since she’s a habitual liar, and I know karma would get me for it. Every time I dump someone, something bad happens to me.

But I’m sick of the same old shit! I think taking a break for a week with Aly would be a good thing for now.

It just pisses the fuck out of Aly and me to see her have this great life and to basically be pampered with everything handed to her for nothing, while Aly and I have suffered from all kinds of shit. And oh, the constant agreeing! It’s annoying as fuck. As annoying as those who always happen to agree.

MONDAY, JULY 20, 2020 Killing time with Lifetime movies until it’s time to go to my doctor. I totally get how Aly pointed out that too many of them have these perfect happy endings. More variety would be nice…sad endings, cliffhangers… You also won’t find a Lifetime movie without someone drinking alcohol, and they all live in big beautiful houses even when they have minimum-wage jobs, LOL.

A masked nurse came out to get something from the trunk of a silver car in front of next door yesterday when I went down to check the mail. She looked and sounded like Doc A. I told her to tell Bob and Virginia that Jodi says hi.

The more we think about it, the more we think the oxygen was for Virginia and not Bob. A brain tumor shouldn’t restrict his breathing, yet she was complaining of breathing issues and she does have heart problems which would cause that.

Tom is soaking his feet now in Epsom salt because his feet have been swelling up again. We have one of those foot thingies you fill with water that gets warm and vibrates.

They’re prepping to bring in the new house now and hopefully, that won’t be too annoying. I hope even more that they don’t wake me up as I start sleeping in. The house is far enough away and on the other side of our place that they probably won’t wake me up working on it, but too many large vehicles going by the bedroom could.

Didn’t sleep so well yesterday so I’m having another tired day. Starting my vitamins today.

The rainbow nails came yesterday, and they look gorgeous. They fit perfectly and were very easy to apply.

SUNDAY, JULY 19, 2020 Decided to give Centrum Silver for women over 50 a chance and see if it helps with the fatigue I’ve been having. Sometimes even when I sleep well and start my day off with enough energy, I still get hit with random bouts of fatigue. It’s also supposed to help with brain function. The PQQ Tom takes helps with his short-term memory and forgetfulness and gives him more energy, so now it’s just a matter of finding what works for me. I definitely seem more tired without some kind of multivitamin.

I wasn’t going to get any more mopping pads since the robot mops for us but I find that they do a great job cleaning kitchen counters and sinks as opposed to the small Clorox wet wipes, so I think I’ll get another box of those as well.

I went to apply a set of gradient nail stickers yesterday but found this particular brand to be too big and too thick. Maybe I can just cut them down instead of filing the ends off the next time. I do cut my nails when they get annoyingly long so while I’ll still have to trim them so they’re narrower in order to fit my tiny nails, instead of trying to file them and getting rough edges, I can just cut them off.

Although we’re not sure why, our medical group sent us a check for $150. We used some of it to get him a new joystick and me a couple of other sets of nail stickers. One has rainbows, one has an underwater ocean scene, and the other is a mix of solids and designs. This way I’m learning which brands are best. I definitely like the first set of nail stickers better than the second. They may not be as colorful and shiny but they’re thinner and smaller.

SATURDAY, JULY 18, 2020 Day 5 of the nail stickers and they’re still looking great. However, I got an email saying that the designs I was expecting today are undeliverable because they encountered a problem along the way. So I picked out another set, and we’ll order it later along with Tom’s new joystick since I stole his for the car racing game.

Been having fun gaming on and off and trying to reach new levels and downloading new racetracks for variety. I wish I could really get into gaming. If I could get to be a really good gamer, maybe I could play for money. It’s just that you have to be really REALLY good at it. Not sure I could be that good at the usual games in which they play for money. For now, racing is not only fun at any time but it’s a good game to unwind with. Drank a little wine while I played yesterday evening before bed. Yes, I sometimes do drink and drive, LOL.

Slept better and feel more rested today. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts, of course, because I can’t even seem to go a week without ending up exhausted. So much so that as much as I don’t want to, I really should say no to future pets. I’m definitely done with rodents since guinea pigs are too much work and rats demand a lot of attention. I thought it would be cool to have a small dog that would be fun to take out for walks and not have any cages to clean, but I don’t know. I just don’t have enough energy enough days. I know Tom has more energy and would be willing to walk it on days that I couldn’t, but I still don’t know. Got a long time before we get to where we’re in a position to make that decision, though, so we’ll just see. Speaking of demanding, I’m being paged by Rockefeller right now for a veggie refill, so back in a sec.

Okay, last topic for the day. Kayla called from my doctor’s office yesterday wanting to convert my appointment to Zoom and as I told her, what would be the point of that when I’m supposed to be seen for my lymph nodes? Even the doctor said she wanted me to come into the clinic. So they double-checked with her and yes, I’ll be going into the office. I’m glad this was simple to clarify, but come on. You’re a doctor’s office for fuck’s sake. Shouldn’t you be more organized as far as who’s doing what? Seriously, it may be a minor misunderstanding, but it just seems that medical offices of any kind should be a little more up-to-date, informed and organized.

FRIDAY, JULY 17, 2020 I hope nothing’s wrong with Bob and Virginia. There were three vehicles over there yesterday. Today there are a couple, plus medical supplies were delivered earlier, so I’m guessing Bob is now on oxygen.

Tom said he saw a guy carrying a tote by the vacant lot yesterday. Maybe to a shed somewhere in back?

For the first time ever, I’m glad Tom’s older than me so I can end my life a decade sooner than it probably would have ended naturally. That’s because I’m bored out of my fucking mind so damn much of the time. There are only so many days I can keep doing the same damn things over and over again. I swear it’s like there’s become way too many hours in a day! So about 22 more years of boredom other than when we’re moving, of course. And maybe a couple of vacations as well. Other than that, it’s the same old, same old. There’s only so much writing I can do as well as editing and reading and watching movies. Hell, maybe I should just pick back up with Camp NaNoWriMo while there’s still time, I figured. So I added another chapter to Roomies even though I don’t expect to win.

The gradient nails came today and they’re awesome! Slightly bigger than the others so I may have to use the first ones I got as a template. Can’t say for sure until I put them on. If you look really closely, you can see slight gaps at the sides of the ones I have on now so maybe they’ll be okay, they’ll just rest snugly against the cuticles.

This is the fourth day I’ve had on the magenta glitter and I’m curious to see how long they’ll hold up so I may not change them today. When I get the other set tomorrow, I’ll decide. The only thing I might not like about the set I’m getting tomorrow is that their sheer, so the designs may not show up as well and look as pretty as a picture. The others look better in person. I’ve got a slight peel-back on the tips of my right hand but otherwise, they’re still holding up great! This is an awesome alternative to nail polish! Way better than fake nails. I used to hate how my hair would snag in the edges of those.

I slept shitty because I woke up a lot, worried I would sleep too late. My Monday appointment is fine, but I don’t want to sleep too late for my dental appointment next month. So I was really dragging and ended up taking a 90-minute nap. It refreshed me a little but I’m still tired.

Dixie sent an email saying she was watering yesterday evening and invited me down to chat, but I was unwinding by then. I let her know I should be able to come down at the end of next week.

To help with the boredom I sometimes experience, Tom downloaded this really cool racecar game called SuperTuxRacer and hooked up his joystick for me. I love all the different tracks and speeds you can go. There are tracks in different climates and terrain. In the rain, in the snow, in the desert, in the tropics, on dirt roads… I have to earn the scores in order to unlock other tracks.

THURSDAY, JULY 16, 2020 For any future historians that read this, this is the first time the critical coronavirus cases have hit 60k. Unfortunately, my state broke a record yesterday with new cases. There are now 92 deaths in Sacramento County. If people could quit protesting and rioting, that would really help slow the spread. Now isn’t the time to be whining about the things that piss you off or the injustices of the world by the hundreds and even the thousands in public, masks or not. Do your venting from home!

So Nick Cannon expresses his hate for Jews yet gets to keep his show. Typical double standards. If he were white and bashing a non-white, he’d be kicked off in a heartbeat.

I’m also finding the reparations that are in order in North Carolina to be a bit ridiculous. You can’t change or undo the past and I don’t see why the people of today need to be punished for the evil deeds of those from hundreds of years ago. They call it “history” for a reason and while it may have been a shitty one, obsessing and dwelling on the past can’t possibly be helpful. Grow up and move on!

Back to the virus. This second surge of cases really sucks, and I know it all isn’t due to protests and riots but people’s stupidity. I may not be the brightest person in the world but sometimes I am really embarrassed to be part of the human race as dumb as it often is. It goes to show how many people will put having fun and making money and other things before the health and safety of others.

My current schedule has allowed me to go out walking early in the morning. I just wish my right hip wasn’t so stiff. I don’t think it’s the joint but the sciatic nerve. That’s the least of my concerns, however. Right now I’m concerned about whatever is going on with my lymph nodes. I’m not worried but I’m definitely curious. It just doesn’t seem right. The way I can feel like something’s there when I move my head in a certain position and even when I swallow at times just doesn’t seem normal. I’m more worried about what it may cost to find out what it is and to deal with it than I am about it killing me or anything like that.

Sometimes I wish I would get something terminal not because I’m suffering at the moment, thankfully, but because I’m just so damn bored so often! Yesterday seemed to drag on and on forever. There were things I could have done but I just didn’t feel like doing them. I didn’t even feel like eating much, though I ate enough to be a little surprised to have lost two of the three pounds I gained back.

Sometimes I not only miss things like having good vision, my libido, and other things but also being more emotional like I once was. I do and I don’t miss it. It’s just that as I’ve learned, those emotions were kind of tied into both my libido and story writing if that makes any sense. I miss having crushes which I don’t even have anymore which also seems to be tied to the libido.

Saw a white car parked in front of the empty lot where the house was removed. What, did the woman who owns the place sleep down in the crawl space in a sleeping bag or something? I’ve been wondering where she’s been staying all this time and I’m surprised the new house hasn’t been brought in yet. This would be an ideal time to bring the damn thing in, though, since I’m not sleeping during the daytime now. I’m like, just get it over with so we can get on with whatever the next annoying project may be.

I’m wondering if that next one will be road work a couple of blocks away. I see new markings on the road, not at all surprising. I just hope to hell we get out of here before they’re tearing up the roads around our place yet again!

He signed up for Peacock TV and upgraded to commercial-free since we both hate commercials. I checked it out, but just like with Hulu and Netflix, there’s too much stuff I’ve already seen. Either that or it doesn’t interest me, it’s in another country, or it’s about subjects I’m sick of. He’s going to enjoy it for a while, though. I’m happy enough with my LMC.

Fucking Amazon, though. I ordered Prime Music to be canceled last month but the greedy bastards didn’t cancel it. I’ll have to keep a close eye on that.

I had a dream my mother was alive, and I met up with her somewhere. She gave me her typical disapproving look even though I was dressed appropriately at least according to her standards. We got in her car and began talking about cooking.

The other day I was going through old pictures of my parents and they really seemed quite active in their golden years and like they did a lot, but then they had a lot more money than we’ll ever have. It was weird seeing pictures of them and thinking about these two people’s lives and all the things they had and did that are now just gone as if they never existed. I didn’t feel the sadness, however, that most people might have felt. Too many years of abuse and neglect does that to you, I guess. They may be dead and gone but what they did wasn’t okay, it never will be okay, and they’ll never be forgiven either.

The nail stickers are still holding up well although the right hand is starting to peel back a bit at the tips since I’m right-handed.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15, 2020 Linda Ronstadt is 74 today. She’s getting up there. I wonder how her Parkinson’s is doing and if her day-to-day life is a real struggle or not. I pin some interesting pics of her to my Celebrity board on Pinterest every now and then. Believe it or not, I’m finding some I’ve actually never seen before.

Got some weird-tasting chips the other day from Rite Aid. I like trying new things. The avocado chips were so-so, the olive oil chips were a little better, and the hummus chips were even better. Even so, none of them are worth getting again.

I’ve learned that the crack of dawn doesn’t mean I’m safe from skunks. I was just crossing Astro onto Daisy when one decided to jump out and say hello. I turned and took off in the opposite direction. So this morning’s walk is going to wait until there’s more light. I don’t want the direct sunlight glaring in my eyes, though. I swear the skunks get worse each year! I never saw one at the crack of dawn before.

I upped my review from 4 stars to 5 stars on the nail stickers. They are truly fantastic! I think the only reason they came off in the shower was that I showered too soon after applying them. You really have to wait for a couple of hours as it says to. I used the bath gloves today and had no problems at all. Applying a topcoat to one hand to compare to the hand that I didn’t apply it on doesn’t seem to really make a difference. Both hands are holding up well. Such a great alternative to having to deal with nail polish and polish remover damage! No drying time either which is also great.

They give you two different sizes for the thumbs. I used the smaller one, of course. Found that the bigger one fits my big toe perfectly. So maybe I’ll use them for my big toes and then I would just polish the other toes which are so tiny that they’re barely even noticeable, LOL.

For a while, I’ve been cutting my nails every week to get the damaged parts off, but now I’m looking forward to growing them out long which has always been easy for me to do. Makes typing a bit of a pain as well as using the phone, but since I mostly rely on voice typing, I’ll be fine.

I love these stickers so much that I’m ordering two more packets today. One contains various designs, mostly with shades of soft pink, and also a pack of gradient colors. Makes you look like you just stepped out of an expensive salon! I love how I can have glitter and not have to struggle to remove glitter nail polish which is a major bitch no matter what I use, including removers that promise to make removing glitter easy but don’t.

Fortunately, it’s looking like my nails were damaged after all from constant nail polish and there might not be any fungal infection of any kind because when I gently peeled back one of the thumbs (I couldn’t peel the one with a topcoat), I didn’t find that the discoloration had worsened. Fungus thrives in the dark, so since the nail stickers block light, the discoloration would have darkened if that’s what it was.

MONDAY, JULY 13, 2020 Another day of fatigue. :-( I just can’t get myself to stay asleep. Instead of waking up once or twice which wouldn’t be that bad, it seems like I woke up a dozen times last night.

Lymph nodes keep going back and forth between barely noticeable to being sore. Applying heat to my neck definitely seems to help, though. I soak a washcloth in hot water and put that on my neck.

Down another half a pound. Tom says he doesn’t notice my stomach being flatter because it’s mostly flat most of the time anyway. Oh really? I didn’t know that, LOL.

I still can’t begin to guess as far as what’s got my lymph nodes fired up but the fact that yes, it really could be lymphoma is a little unnerving. It’s unlikely, but I do have more of the symptoms than I realized when I think about it. Night sweats, a little bit of weight loss, and fatigue. I also read that you don’t have to have all or even any of the symptoms to have cancer and that it’s a slow-growing cancer that eventually accelerates quickly. That makes me think of how it started off barely noticeable for a few years and now it’s progressing. I also can’t help but think about my fears of something up there throwing curveballs in our plans to get out of here next spring. Trying not to, though!

I had a dream we were packing, and I was saying that I wanted to wash things when we got to the new place so I wouldn’t be putting away dirty stuff. Don’t know why I didn’t wash it before I packed it, but hopefully, this is a sign that we will indeed make it out of here. What I didn’t like was the dream where I was punching the code into the door of wherever we’d just moved to and it was 2024.

Got the nail stickers and they’re both good and bad. They’re actually great in that they’re much easier to apply than I thought they would be, and they look gorgeous. Just like real nail polish. Actually, even better. Real nail polish can lose a lot of its glossy shine once it dries but not this. Also, glitter is very hard to remove so I can have glittery nails again without the pain in the ass of trying to remove it. The negative is that they come off easily in the shower, so they’re really only good for a day or so.

My nails are definitely showing signs of improvement, so hopefully, it was just nail polish or nail polish remover damage and nothing more. Or maybe the Lamisil really is killing any fungus that may have been present. Now we’ll see if the stickers make it worse because fungus thrives in darkness if that’s what it was.

SUNDAY, JULY 12, 2020 Yesterday my lymph nodes were barely noticeable but by the time I was getting settled in bed, once again they became swollen and tender, especially in my neck.

So I read around some more, and yes, there are some things that can trigger it and one of those things is sugar. I treat myself on weekends and ironically enough, this happened shortly after having ice cream.

Also, here it goes again. Signs my metabolism is speeding up again. Bra’s looser, stomach’s flatter, jumped only half a pound after a big meal… I’ve also been exercising more when I’m not too tired like I am today. Yeah, this is the third fucking day I’ve been tired since the 7th, the fourth since the 29th. Been keeping track on my calendar. It’s like every few days I’m dragging, and I’m getting sick of it. Better than anxiety and when my lymph nodes hurt but still… Can I just have a fucking break for more than a week - a month if I’m lucky - without the fatigue and health issues?!

The last pill cut was 3.5 weeks ago and I’m guessing that the two cuts bumped my TSH up to about 16. So with that being half of the 32 that I started with, maybe that’s all it takes to get back into the single digits, and maybe that affects my weight.

Decided to quit Camp NaNo. I just don’t have the imagination and inspiration I used to when it comes to creative writing. Still love to read other people’s books, though, and I’m on my fortieth one this year. I was keeping shelves on Goodreads and shelving them by the years I read them, but I think I’ll do away with shelves and mark them as read after I’ve read them or decide I don’t like them. The point is to have a list of titles of everything I’ve either read or tried. It doesn’t have to be in any particular order.

The mystery music has been found! It wasn’t coming from outside at all which explains why it would seem to stop when I’d go outside. It was coming from the vibrator Tom has under his mattress pad.

Loving my Narciso Rodriguez perfume sample. I’ve heard people describe others as smelling of cheap perfume or expensive perfume and would wonder how they could tell this. Now I know. It smells awesome! But at around a hundred bucks a bottle, I’ll pass.

I was looking at the population statistics since the 50s and how the fertility rate has gone way down while the median age has gone way up, thus driving the population up. Thank God so many women don’t want kids these days! I hate to think of what the population would be like if they did!

Saw a movie based on the true story of a kidnap victim. I realized after remembering something incredibly stupid I did when I was around 13, just how truly lucky I was being that I was so stupid, naive, trusting and basically with the mentality and intellect of an 8-year-old if even that. Furthermore, I had yet to develop any strength and could have been overpowered easily.

Jenny, a childhood friend who dumped me in my early 20s for having too many problems for her to handle, got me into both cigarettes and pot. One summer when we were at our summer cottage at the beach, I was dumb enough to wander to the next beach over which wasn’t a private beach like ours. It was a public beach full of young people and I would randomly approach whoever and ask them if they had any pot on them. Even snorted a line of coke once, too.

Anyway, one guy said he did, but he wanted to sit in his car and smoke it. It was illegal after all. So I stupidly and bravely got in his car and we got high. He drove up the street where the main entrance to the beaches was and fewer people. Then he says he wants me to give him something in return and as dumb and naive as I was back then, I knew immediately what that something was. I demanded he drive me back and he did. Seeing these movies makes me realize just how damn dumb but lucky I was despite the stranger danger warnings in and out of school I’d received. I don’t even remember being scared either. Just totally offended and like how dare he ask that of me! Makes me wonder, though…did whoever this guy was continue to take no for an answer in the future? Or did some unfortunate naive kid like me end up dead in his basement or something?

Had a dream the Dahl blasted off with the saw and I said, “Okay, this is way too much. I’m going over there. Every few days is too much even for the time we have left here.”

Surprisingly, our house looked like this house (unusual in my dreams) except for the placement of the bedroom closet.

We’d just gotten up and were getting dressed. Tom said he’d get dressed and go with me. I agreed that would be better and then said something about hoping I didn’t look drunk because my eyes were red from lack of sleep.

“You’re gonna kill someone then,” he said, and I said, “No I won’t. I just want to find out what’s going on and for it to stop or at least lessen.”

Well, unless he heard something I didn’t, the rude asshole probably wasn’t noisy yesterday because I went into the bathroom and kitchen too many times not to have heard it if he did.

In real life, if one of us catches him at it while we’re outside, sure, we can ask what’s up. If not, I’d rather go with the late-night anonymous note.

As long as my health is stable, Tom is thinking of getting a job with Amazon in a few months and then seeing if he would be able to transfer to Florida. This would be inland somewhere and the more I think about it, the more Inland is a better idea than coastal. Not just because there’s no land on the coast but because it’s not like we would go to the beach every day anyway. If we went less often it would keep it more special that way. I lived an hour and 10 minutes away from the beach in Massachusetts and only went a few times during the summers as an adult. Then, during the four months I lived in Connecticut, I was 10 minutes away yet never went. We would also be able to enjoy storms but be safer from serious damage, be less likely to lose power, and even less likely to be evacuated. Maybe we can make beach trips a monthly thing or something like that.

While we’re still here I wish I could always be on nights except for when I had an appointment and it could always be summer. It’s the only time it’s peaceful.

I hope the noise levels in the tester house aren’t that bad because I don’t want to feel rushed when looking for a permanent place regardless of what state we settle on.

SATURDAY, JULY 11, 2020 I swear I heard music thumping for 40 minutes again tonight, yet also again, whenever I went outside to try to get a sense of exactly where it was coming from, I didn’t hear a thing. WTF?

The most likely plan we’re going to go with, assuming life lets us, is that he’ll get a holiday job in the fall. Hopefully, that won’t be too hard to get due to his age and in a place that tends to give first dibs to minorities, illegals and foreigners whether they’re qualified or not to avoid being called racists. Maybe someday people won’t be so obsessed with what others think of them or call them.

It’s just that there are my sleep issues to think of and the fact that he hates driving. He’s always found it to be very stressful. So why put additional stress on us even if it would only be for a week or so? If the 1100-mile drive from Arizona to Oregon could be as disastrous as it was with us nearly getting run off the road, then breaking down, and then getting stuck, I’d hate to think of what a nearly 3000-mile drive may bring us!

The plan is to hop on a plane and fly to a readily available house after hiring a realtor to find what we’re looking for, even though I highly doubt it will be that simple for us. Whatever is?

Will be seeing my doctor on the 20th since my neck is a little uncomfortable, especially when I’m lying down. I’d rather just get it over with and find out what it is and what I can do about it if anything at all.

FRIDAY, JULY 10, 2020 So much for claiming these summer nights have been peaceful when I was listening to the thump, thump, thump of bass from about 9:30 to 10:30. Seems like it was in the park somewhere. Again, why have these places if we’re just going to act like we’re all in the mainstream where anything goes? There is just soooo much noise in this world no matter where you go. I used to think it was a curse on me, and back in the 90s it probably was. But now, given how widespread this is and how many others complain about the same thing, it’s like the whole world has gotten to be one big symphony of noise you just can’t escape from. I think we would literally have to be in the middle of a piece of land that was at least 40 acres in order to get away from society’s regular racket. It’s just that there we would be more likely to get sonic booms. There really is no escape!

I hate to do it, but I think I am going to have to get to my doctor sooner rather than wait until my regular appointment. I agree that it’s almost certainly benign, but it definitely doesn’t seem normal either. It used to be barely noticeable and only some of the time. Now, it’s more than barely noticeable most of the time. It’s uncomfortable lying in some positions. If I get my head and neck arranged in a certain way that compresses the area, it can go from uncomfortable to painful. It sort of feels like pressing too hard on a bruise. So something’s going on, even if it isn’t serious. But as much as it doesn’t seem right, I have a feeling there won’t be anything I can do about it. I’ll probably just have to live with the discomfort for the rest of my life just like with my TMJ, but that much is actually much better. Goes to show that yes, high elevation along with colder temps is not good for it just as I read. So that’s another reason to hope Florida works out, even though I would rather have TMJ pain that I could throw ibuprofen over rather than lose my sleep and have possible breathing issues.

No change in vision or nails. At least not my fingernails. It’s too soon to say whether or not the Lamisil will help my toenails. My toenails don’t have any lifting or dark discoloration, though. That’s only in some of my fingernails.

I’m just a little worried about the virus and costs as far as going to the doctor goes. Also, in the very off-chance that they do find something wrong, could it get in the way of us moving next year?

I had a dream we were staying in a hotel. I realized I didn’t feel well and went down to the front desk and asked them to take my temperature. A young woman happily agreed although she said it would cost $0.30. I was saying how ridiculous that was, but Tom said not to worry about it and that it was all fine. Then she annoyed me by telling me my temperature in Celsius which was 47. That translates to 117 degrees Fahrenheit!

Not that I’m sick or think I’m dying from anything, but I realized that if I was suddenly told I was dying of something, it wouldn’t seem like the horrible crisis it would have been 20 years ago. I guess it’s just being older. Yes, if I knew I was going to die in a few months it would suck that we wouldn’t get to move to Florida together, but I would only be going from one noisy place to another. The only improvements would be that we’d probably be on a quieter street and out of a flight path. But life would be the same old, same old, and that would sometimes get boring. I’ve pretty much done everything outside of my normal routine that I’m going to do in life.

It’s been almost a year since Alyssa changed her profile pic, and after doing a brief scan of the last handful of profile pics, this is the longest she’s ever gone between changes. Starting to wonder if it has anything to do with me and she’s just hesitant to change pictures because she’s annoyed or uncomfortable by the thought of knowing I’ll see it. I never wanted to make her uncomfortable, I just wanted to be friends with her even if we never saw each other and I rarely heard from her. I was stupid to think we ever could be, though. Why would a doctor want anything to do with a former patient any more than a current one? I guess their code of ethics extends further than I thought if they won’t be friends with past patients.

Sometimes I still remember the pictures I had that I would communicate with. The celebrity pics that I knew without a doubt were host to God knows what kind of spirit or entity. I never doubted this for a minute. Never. Besides, if I could be psychic in some ways, why not in that way as well? I always knew that wasn’t just wishful thinking or me being crazy in any way. It was real. It wasn’t just some fantasy I brainwashed myself into believing out of desperation and loneliness. It was totally real.

I think how wonderful it would be to have many of the pictures back and to carry on from there. If the same “beings” could inhabit them and could remember where we left off, I would definitely have fun filling them in on the last few decades whenever I got bored.

Forgot to say in my last entry that yes, Kim and Aly are connected on Facebook. In their regular accounts, I mean. Figured as much. Aly isn’t a part of Kim’s group, though. It’s kind of weird that Kim has her profile so private and doesn’t seem interested in adding me but I’m glad for this because I absolutely would not want to add her with her history. Yeah, people can change in some ways with time and age, but as the termite proved, the tiger never really changes its stripes. One wrong move on my part could set her off and she could cause a lot of trouble if she was connected to my Facebook account, not that I wouldn’t have enough ammunition against her. I know how to get ahold of her sister if need be. Regardless, I have real friends on Facebook, a cousin, and people I actually met face-to-face. Causing trouble on PB or Twitter would be one thing, Facebook would be another.

I also forgot to say that I did a test with Pa. Before bed, I called out to him and asked that he show himself in my dreams somehow, but he never made his presence known there. So my mother showing up in the previous night’s dream was probably just a coincidence. The '90s dream with Nana was probably meaningless as well since she was always a very negative and discouraging woman just like her daughter. So they could both be in Hell after all, if there is one.

THURSDAY, JULY 9, 2020 Tomorrow we will have been here for 7 years and today marks the anniversary of that scary day.

Where are my mood-influencing abilities when I need them? Really, I just want to smash that fucking cock across the street. Then I want to smash it again with the damn saw he’s annoying the fuck out of me with.

Started to think I was influencing Kim’s health just by being angry at how unfair it is that she gets everything handed to her on a silver platter just to be in great health while Aly and I have suffered, but I guess she’s had the tendonitis she mentioned on and off for a while now. Also, just like she happens to like everything we like, she has every problem that her sister and mother have as well. Well, she thinks she does anyway.

I crashed around 6:30 a.m. When I got up 5 hours later to pee, I could hear the fucking saw whirring loud and clear. Then I lay in bed until 12:30, unable to get back to sleep because I was stressed out. Tom was in the room farthest from it with his headphones on, so of course, he didn’t hear it. He swore he wasn’t home when he was out tending to the bushes earlier and that no one was home right then either when he stepped out to check, and the saw wasn’t in the carport. It took me a few more hours to fall back asleep. It’s amazing I’m not as tired as I was yesterday. I fell into a deeper sleep than the day before, but I do remember a 2-second dream where I was titling my journal entry something like All Bad News. I hope that doesn’t mean anything! Oh, and I was kissing my old endo in some dream as well, LOL.

Anyway, it’s got to be tied in with his job. Cock cuts something, throws the saw in the shed or his van, and then takes what he’s cut to wherever.

Tom was saying that it’s not only him doing the sawing and while I do know that sadly, but circular saws have also become a popular toy amongst older people as drones have with younger people, I can tell when it’s him.

Then an idea came to me that I’m sure Tom’s not going to like any better than the direct approach being from the West and therefore mostly anti-complaining. Plus, he’s paranoid. I, however, think the odds of any potential buyers questioning him in particular aren’t that great, and besides, they would be talking about the park, not who was moving out. The idea is to leave an anonymous note in his carport asking him to lower the frequency of the sawing. Would it work? I have no idea. But this way, even if he suspects me, he can’t know for sure who it is if I drop it off in the middle of the night. Unless he’s got cameras with night vision, no one should see me. The area by his door is lit up but most of the carport is pretty dark. I could just toss it into the carport, and he can assume the wind blew it off his door or something. Of course, we would deny it if he came over here asking if we were behind it, but let him know that while he’s here, yeah, it does get a little loud and often.

Another benefit of this is that we keep the park out of it. The office will just counter-complain if I go through them.

In the evening when I got up for good, the blue truck, gold SUV, and a white pickup were visiting but they were quiet.

As I told Tom, if it was December or January that would be one thing. But we still have eight or nine months left in this place. When we move to the tester place and we’re listening to annoying projects there, then I could tell myself it’s only for a few months. But we still have a long time left here.

I just get tired of feeling like I have to keep my mouth shut and grin and bear it just so people can have their fun. I think that sometimes it’s okay to do what’s best for us and not worry about how others may react. As he always says, you can’t control or predict others. Well, I say that sometimes it’s okay to put us first. Not sure letting him make a racket at my expense and just sitting back quietly and taking it cuz of a conversation that will probably never happen is best at least for me.

It really is a lot more peaceful at night during the summer here, though I’m still hearing some fireworks at night. That doesn’t mean as peaceful as other places I’ve lived where I didn’t hear a damn thing most nights. But compared to the winter when the only peaceful hours are between 12:30 a.m. and 5:40 a.m., it’s a definite improvement. There are still some loud motors and helicopters.

My parents would have been absolutely livid had a motorcycle blasted in during the middle of the night. They would have been at the office for damn sure. I’m sure it was practically unheard of back then. The world has changed big time. I never expect a place to be 100% quiet, but it would be nice if at least anything that did penetrate the walls of our place was soft enough to be drowned out by a simple fan running or something like that. I’m tired of having to blast this or blast that just so I can focus on things in the daytime and be able to sleep whenever. We’re going to have to get acreage to do that, though. Then we’ll trade in the circular saws and other projects for barking and engine-gunning, but a few hundred feet away is definitely better than a few dozen.

Dixie emailed me a message saying that “a car with flashing red lights stopped by the turkey tree and lit up her room in the middle of the night and she never heard it leave.” Also, did I get mail from Linda about the break-ins we are supposedly having?

No, we didn’t, and as I told her, the red lights that drove past the big Cali oak that the turkeys sleep in were actually the paramedics that came to Lawrence’s place at that time.

She also said she stopped by the Twenties (as in stopped in her SUV as she was going by and spotted them outside). Because she’s disabled, she rarely goes to other people’s places. She said they seemed bothered by her stopping by and asking for information on these supposed break-ins I’ve heard nothing about. Sometimes I wonder just how with it she is.

Sure enough, Walmart screwed up when he went to pick up my meds and he had to make them do it again, giving me Sandoz. He said it didn’t seem like Mylan or Lannett, but something else he’d never seen before. Yeah, something that could have me feeling anxious in a week and then wanting to die in another week. No thanks! Besides, every time I go back to Sandoz, I get the only side effect that goes away after a few weeks and that’s lightheaded. Looking back on all the lightheadedness I suffered a few years ago, I can’t help but wonder if some of it was because they were switching brands on me back and forth, and not all due to the peri.

TUESDAY, JULY 7, 2020 I fell behind on my book so I’m catching up with that. I swear I hate the new NaNo, though! It no longer tells you how many words you have left to go before you hit your goal. Not only that, but I can’t see my synopsis or excerpt without editing the project, so what’s the point?

Big sites and change…I hate it. If the big sites like Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest are going to have so much change so often, I wish they would at least leave the old features alone. Adding new ones is fine but changing or getting rid of old ones sucks. When I first got hooked on Pinterest in 2015, I could see how many boards I had. Then they took that away and now I can’t even see my total pin count. They’ve even taken away the feedback option but that’s probably because they’re sick of people bitching about all the change. Some people are going to do what they’re going to do no matter what. They keep taking and taking but never adding. You know, like a convenient way to download our boards as we can download our photo albums, tweets, and journals from almost every other site in the world?

Another tired day for me and not because of traffic. I kept waking up a million times as if I was still in the worst of perimenopause. Sometimes I just woke up, sometimes it was to pee, and sometimes I was overheated. Why am I still having hot flashes in my sleep this late in the game???

What was strange was one dream in particular that I had. When I lost my parents in 2012 and they would often show up in dreams, I just assumed it was because they died. I don’t remember when it was, but sometime since we’ve been living here, I had a dream that my father said, “Mom understands if you can’t forgive her.”

I was thinking of that as I was relaxing for bed yesterday and also remembering the dream my grandmother was in back in the '90s telling me to pick new goals and dreams, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was them sending messages from somewhere beyond. Still not sure if there is a God or an afterlife, but yes, it definitely made me wonder.

So as I was falling asleep, I mentally asked my parents to send me a sign in my dreams if they were still out there.

I got up a few hours after crashing to pee and realized at that time that neither one of them had shown up in my dreams. I wasn’t surprised because I’ve tried this before where I would call out to them and request that they make their presence known in my dreams somehow, and nothing happened.

But then I fell back asleep and in one of the dreams I had, I didn’t know Tom. I was staying somewhere with no way to get home. I was so broke that I wondered if I even still had an apartment to go back to.

I looked down at one of my hands and saw it was swollen and distorted which I suspected was from some supplement I had just taken. Too worried to care, I let a psychic give me a reading. Only she didn’t read palms, she read upper backs, LOL. I knew she was for real because she told me things that there was no way she should know. I never mentioned not having kids yet she knew I hadn’t had any. Then she said something about there being a lesson to be learned. She also said I was a something baby. It seemed to be a single-syllable word like prawn or prong, referring to something I was either given or restricted from when I was born. Then someone stole her attention away and I was determined to catch her later to find out what she meant.

Then I went and checked my phone and found that my mother left a message. It was something to the effect of just checking in to see how I was doing. I don’t remember exactly what she said.

My phone worked differently than in real life. I was unable to call her back or retrieve her number in any way and I couldn’t remember it off the top of my head. It’s like my brain just wouldn’t function. I couldn’t think of the date and I couldn’t think of anyone else’s number either. When I mentioned something about my sister, some guy angrily said something about me starting a vendetta.

“No, I’m not,” I said. “I don’t want to start a vendetta; I just don’t want anything to do with her. There’s a difference between causing trouble for someone and ignoring them.”

Then there were bits and pieces of other dreams. Tom and I went somewhere and forgot our masks.

We wanted a couple of rats that were 10 to 20 pounds and very friendly and playful only to find they were $450.

I felt guilty over abandoning some rat in a building after using it as part of a prank.

Back to real life… Yesterday’s exercise mix-up was a 15-minute ab video, 15 minutes of bike riding, 15 minutes on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the Bowflex. You definitely don’t feel like you did an hour’s worth of working out this way when you break it up and add variety.

I’m too tired to work out today, though, but if I absolutely have to be tired, today is a good day. That’s because my tummy is a little sore from the ab video I did, waking up muscles I haven’t worked in a while.

All my physical work is done like cage-cleaning, so I can relax for the rest of the night with writing, audiobooks and movies and not have to do anything other than cooking.

The honey garlic pork ribs I made last night were great. I was going to throw in another rib today with some veggies for one meal, along with bacon and eggs for lunch, and then a piece of chicken with veggies for my last meal. I don’t know that I’m up to cooking two more times, but I do have a couple of frozen dinners, so I may have one of those. I need to use them up so I can go back to low-carb anyway.

Tom’s trying to lose weight, but I still don’t see the point in half-starving ourselves and working so hard just to regain the weight with our super slow metabolisms. His life, his body, so he can do what he wants, though. I’m just making sure I don’t gain.

I’m surprised I’m not hungry as hell today because I’m tired. Often times I would notice that I had PMS-like hunger when I would be tired and could eat and eat and still be hungry. So I looked it up and sure enough, a lack of sleep causes hormonal shifts that raise hunger. When I have those days, I have to make sure I don’t eat any more than usual since it wouldn’t do me any good to do so. Both the tiredness and hunger stay with me until I can get caught up on sleep.

MONDAY, JULY 6, 2020 Sent Doc A a message about my lymph nodes, including giving her some history regarding when I first noticed the one in my neck, the nodules discovered in the ultrasound from before I started seeing her, and my root canal. I was hoping against hope that she would reply with some simple tips and pointers but instead, all she said was that while swollen lymph nodes were usually benign, she’d like to schedule an appointment, so please reply and let her know if that’s okay so they can call me. I declined, saying that I’d rather wait until our October appointment since I’m not in any serious pain. Plus, there’s the virus and money to consider, especially the virus.

There were 30 new cases today in our ZIP code alone. 9 dead in my city, if you can believe it. They tend to underreport. If I had to guess, I would say the global death count is really over a million. Still not that worrisome out of 7 billion people but we still need to play it safe as much as we can.

I’m now wondering if what’s going on with my fingernails is onycholysis. When I looked at images, the pictures I saw looked similar to how my nails look right now. My guess is that the Lamisil isn’t going to do me any good any more than staring at red dots for 3 minutes a day is going to improve my vision. I’ll still give it more time, and at least I’m not in any pain from that either.

I offered to visit Dixie yesterday, but she was tired. She’s tired today too but says to let her know if I want to come down. She says Diane’s being a brat and she’s doing some paperwork for a living trust.

I let her know that I’ll probably take the bike out around 8 and will look for her then. I’ve been enjoying a mix of exercise. I ended up getting a total of an hour yesterday doing 15 minutes of biking, 15 minutes on the treadmill, 15 minutes on the skier, and 15 minutes of dance cardio.

Damn, does the girl in the video make it look easy! But hey, she’s probably 25 years old and 110 pounds. When you’re as heavy as I am, you don’t realize just how much your arms weigh until you start waving them around like crazy. LOL

I’ve got over 2K words for Camp NaNo. Hate the fucking site now, though. If it weren’t for my buddies I would have left. Things are harder to edit, it said I won when I accidentally entered the numbers incorrectly, and I can’t even see my synopsis or excerpt. The whole site sucks.

Since it’s been a while, I let the rat run around, but he only stayed out for barely 10 minutes. So cute. He really is a good rat. Not the greatest but a damn good one. You can tell he’s getting old, though, because his fur is starting to thin out.

All was peaceful last night except for a few scattered firecrackers/works. Days definitely suck. They’re hard to sleep during and the noisiest, too. They’re only good for appointments and they do help my mood unless it’s winter or I’m alone too much. Cold, cloudy dreary days can get to me as they did in Oregon.

Tom said he didn’t hear it but saw the circular saw in the driveway when he went to pick up some mail. Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t there for decoration and that he was just unable to hear it from his office when it was running. I slept till 4, so I was lucky enough to miss that and the water shut-off.

In the mail were 4 perfume samples for women and 2 for men. They all smell nice.

Had a series of disjointed dreams where we were in a hotel, but it didn’t seem to have anything to do with moving. We knew the woman in the room next to us and while I was in our room, I heard her shout out and was worried something happened to her. I kept my eyes on the crack under our door for fear of seeing movement from someone who might be after me next.

Then I grabbed my phone and called Tom who was down in the hotel’s casino - were we in Vegas? I asked what happened and he said the girl just hit her head and that she hired someone to help him win that night.

Then I was outdoors where I was thinking it was such a beautiful day. I looked overhead and saw these strange-looking trees, leaves now fully budded as if it was springtime. I walked on and came across a swimming pool where three or four girls in their twenties were happily splashing about.

Then it was nighttime, and we were in our hotel room again when I noticed he left a light on in the room’s closet. I tried to tell Alexa to turn it off and then realized that the room wasn’t “smart.” I also realized I’d forgotten to take my sound machine but managed to find white noise somewhere on the TV.

SUNDAY, JULY 5, 2020 Although it was only for a few seconds, I got to potty to the sound of that nerve-grating saw I want to run over and smash over the guy’s head so fucking bad. Why are we such a magnet for retired contractors/construction neighbors? Jesse, Bob, the guy down the street, this cock… They make the WORST neighbors. This is obviously what he does be it for his job or a serious hobby. I’d rather the last guy and his loud car before he had a stroke and even his blasting TV.

I get what Tom means about not all things being worth complaining about and about letting some things slide, but I don’t know. I’m getting kind of tired of keeping my mouth shut because this one may do that or because that one may react poorly. As they say and as I learned the hard way, people only have power over us if we let them have it. We still have a long time left here and the odds of the damn cock being questioned by prospective buyers aren’t that great and even if he was, that doesn’t mean he would mention my asking why there was so much sawing over there if I chose to do so.

If he can be doing this shit this often in 100-degree temps, I hate to think of what the winter may bring. Also, the longer no one says anything, the more he’s going to think it’s okay and be likelier to make a racket. Well, it’s not okay. Maybe it is for some people, but I find it pretty damn annoying and distracting. If I knew it would always be a few seconds here and a few seconds there, fine. But I don’t know that. Besides, I didn’t come here to listen to loud power tools!

But there are things about him that do suggest he may take poorly to complaints. Just the fact that he’s doing this so often and that he never went around to his immediate neighbors to say he did a lot of sawing and to let him know if it bothered anyone is enough to tell me he doesn’t give a shit about others. It’s definitely seen as a sin to complain in the West. In the East, people are less likely to hesitate to complain about whatever.

Either way, why is there always someone doing something? First it was Bob’s projects. Then it was the contractor down the street. Then it was the loud car. Now it’s this shit. I’m glad he can’t override the sound machines but enough is enough!

Now on to bitching about the fireworks, although that was nothing in comparison since that was just a holiday thing and not an every few days thing. Worst ever, though! Another “never before” for LV. Never before have I heard such a steady, loud flow of pops, booms, and bangs. I felt like I was in a fucking apartment. Most of it I tuned out like I would with the hunters in Maricopa. It was those sudden and extra loud fireworks that got annoying. I’ve definitely had enough and hope there won’t be any grand finales tonight to use up any leftover fireworks.

Sometimes I wonder if we should skip Florida and get something with 10 or more acres of land elsewhere where it’s more affordable. One or two acres is better than nothing but with some sounds being so ferociously loud, I don’t know if it would be enough of a distance between us and the neighbors. So many people are so damn loud and it only gets worse and worse.

I forget that it’s cheaper to run the AC on the weekend so we’re going to set the home AC at 78 at that time. Then we’ll bump it back up to 80. During the week I try not to do dishes and laundry unless it’s between midnight - 6 a.m.

Did some cholesterol research and was totally surprised by what I found. As expected, eggs are the highest in cholesterol with over 200 mg. What shocked the shit out of me was that four pieces of bacon are only 30 mg. Pork and chicken range between an average of 60 to 80 mg. If that’s not shocking enough, how about shrimp? That’s around 160 mg! It really surprised the hell out of me. I have been thinking about going low carb again a little more often and struggling to come up with something that would be low in sodium, cholesterol and carbs but with a little fiber in it to replace bacon and eggs. But now that I know I’m not killing myself with bacon, I just need to replace the eggs. There isn’t any fiber in cottage cheese, so that might be a good substitute.

SATURDAY, JULY 4, 2020 So glad it’s finally the 4th, but I’ll be even gladder tomorrow. The fucking fireworks are really starting to get old. It was pretty wild around here last night. Doubt any of it came from inside the park, though.

For our own different reasons, we agree that we’re probably going to fly to Florida rather than drive. His reason is that he hates driving. Mine has to do with my sleep issues.

Yesterday I was woken up by the garbage truck. Today it was someone slamming into the speed bump. What will it be tomorrow, motorcycles? I can’t wait to get back to rural living! I’ve hated every community I’ve ever lived in, adult or not. So, as soon as we pick the state!

I had a dream we were going to “test” Florida but only for a few days. I’m going to want to test it for a few months but hopefully, the dream was a good sign. Like most older people, I have gotten less emotional, less sensitive, and less self-conscious with the wisdom and maturity that comes with age. However, it’s going to be one seriously emotional day the day we walk out of here for good! It almost brings tears of joy to my eyes just thinking about it. After so much misery, so much anxiety and some depression (and a whole shitload of noise while I was at it), and thinking I was going out of here in a body bag a few different times, it’s going to be pretty damn awesome when I walk out of here alive and well, hop on that airplane, and just fly away. I’ll be nervous going into the unknown but excited as well.

I’ve been a little tired today so I had the tea with the ginseng, but I can’t say that it made any difference. I would be a lot more tired had they woke me up a couple of hours earlier than they did. Tomorrow I may be more than just a little tired depending on when tomorrow’s wake-up call is. This is why I both love and hate being on nights. The nights are more peaceful (when there aren’t any fireworks) but trying to sleep during the daytime is hell. I don’t understand how so many people who work graves do it though not everybody is just a few feet from a busy street or as light of a sleeper as I am. Wish I could always be on days since I’m a lot better off emotionally, I sleep better at night, and it’s more convenient for things like appointments. Its only negative is the noise. Things are getting worse in this world and I honestly don’t know that we can get that much quieter even out in the country, but one of these days soon enough we’ll find out.

I accidentally caused the washer to lose its mind by pressing too many of the wrong buttons too fast. Tom had to flip the breaker and reset it that way. Sometimes I’m sorry we bother with all these high-tech things. Definitely want to go back to top-loaders, though. Front-loaders are too high-maintenance and smelly at times.

Dixie said she’d be out watering at 6:30 and that I was welcome to come down and chat with her but she has a very soft voice, and while it’s soothing and relaxing to listen to, it’s hard to hear her over the running water along with all the background noise. Plus, as I told her, I’m a little tired. I’m glad she’s liking the story I’ve been sharing with her a little at a time.

I can never make up my mind whether or not I want to use my public MD account for journals or stories so I decided it couldn’t hurt to mix in both.

Noticed the lymph node in my neck was a little more swollen last night so I may go ahead and message Doc A, only I’ll ask for advice and not to come in sooner. Haven’t felt soreness in the groin one, though, so that’s good.

Not sure if the Lamisil is helping my nails. The discoloration may be fading a bit but it’s too soon to say for sure.

I’ve got a chicken thigh, some broccoli, and a cut-up potato cooking in the crockpot in marsala wine sauce and it’s pretty good. I kind of like those little tubs of whipped butter. I can hold it upside down over the crockpot, rake it with a fork, and sprinkle little specs of butter evenly over the food.

FRIDAY, JULY 3, 2020 855 Camp NaNo words written with more to come in a little while.

I totally can’t wait to settle on a state and be done with communities! First it was the garbage truck waking me up, a problem I’ve never had anywhere before in my life, and I just heard that damn saw we can’t even go a week without. It’s only a few seconds here and there but annoying, nonetheless. It’s going to be hard not to just hope no prospective buyers question him and run over there and give him a piece of my mind. We’re still going to be here for the better part of a year and I don’t want to listen to his shit for that long.

Amazingly, I’m not tired at all. I could be tomorrow, though, if the motorcycles take over for the garbage trucks and wake me up.

They closed the clubhouse again and I wouldn’t be surprised if we were locked down again. Tom doesn’t think we will be, though. On the 6th, the water will be off for six hours but I’ll be asleep during that time. First time they had the decency to give us a few days’ warning.

Since I really like Mac better than Windows as Windows is missing so many handy features or just doesn’t work in the way I would like compared to Mac, we were thinking that if we get another stimulus check, I’ll get an iPad. I probably shouldn’t and instead should treat it as reimbursement for all the dental work I’ve had to have done but we’ll see.

Although they say they need to conduct more studies, a small study was done shining red light into about 24 women's and men’s eyes and it was found that it helped their vision. Well, I certainly could use all the help I can get! You only need to do this for 3 minutes a day. So I’m staring into a large red dot on my monitor for 3 minutes each day and I’ll do this for the rest of the month and see if there’s any difference.

We went to Rite Aid earlier since Walmart was out of some things. It was the most crowded I’ve ever seen it but everyone had masks on. Only one dumb cock came in without a mask.

I visited with Dixie yesterday evening and it was one of the nicest visits. She didn’t ramble on as much and I didn’t feel the conversation was too one-sided. She actually asked me about some things and seemed interested in my Camp NaNo project. Sent her the first few chapters.

THURSDAY, JULY 2, 2020 A friend and I were discussing how some people have such great lives yet they don’t even know it. Their worst problems are nothing compared to some things we’ve been through. I try not to compare myself to others because it would only piss me off. Life was never fair and it never will be for as long as humans exist. Yet when I think of those whose worse problems are to do chores they don’t want to do while they have everything paid for and catered to them that most people have to struggle for, I wonder when? When will something happen to shake up their worlds and make them look back and realize that their past “problems” weren’t so bad after all? I just wonder when they’ll get so sick or forced to struggle in ways that make them look back and say, “Damn, I really was once quite lucky! I had it so easy. But now I know what real hardships are.”

My lymph nodes are down, I’m pleased to find. They’re still noticeable but not as noticeable as they were before. Maybe my teeth really did have something to do with them being swollen. I’ll give it a few more days to see how they do. If they swell up again, I thought that instead of messaging Doc A asking to come in sooner, I would simply ask for her advice and opinion on the matter.

Pretty sure my sore hip is really my sciatic nerve acting up. A bit of a bitch to deal with because it lasts so long when it acts up. He and I have both had this issue before.

We’ve been bumping the AC up to 80 degrees between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. which is the most expensive time. Not so much to save money as to make the last year’s worth of utilities look good for future buyers who may check into that.

Last night I had a dream that I looked out the back door (which was the front door in the dream) and up at the house across from the Twenties. It was the middle of the night and I saw a tall lanky guy slouched over and running up toward the fence in a hurry. I immediately knew he was up to no good. Then I realized there were three of them. I overheard one say they wanted to smash the windows of an empty place that had been vacant for a long time. This place doesn’t exist in reality. I started to shout out to them and it took several tries before they heard me. Just as one turned to look at me and started toward me, I shut the door and fumbled for the lock. Just as I turned the deadbolt, an act which seemed to take too many seconds, I wished I kept quiet and simply called the cops rather than called out to them. The dream ended before they could do whatever they were going to do next.

I know I had many other dreams but can’t remember them. The only other dream I remember from the night before was looking at a satellite image of someplace and finding a peculiar circle in the middle of a bay. I figured it must be some kind of dock, even though it looked like some kind of drain. Almost like a plug you could reach down and pull to drain the ocean.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 1, 2020 My dentist’s appointment yesterday was a piece of cake! No numbing was required and no pain either when she used the laser to fill my root canal and the two other cavities. They were friendlier too, in that they were more personable and chattier. I was there for an hour and a half and it came to $420. It would have been twice that much without my discount card. It cost us about $150 more than it would to get three old-fashioned fillings with our old insurance plan, but this was totally worth it. Again, I’m glad I was forced to seek out a new dentist because I realize now just how behind the times my old dentist was. I can understand not wanting to invest in the latest technology when you’re close to retiring, though.

I’d say it takes about the same amount of time. What makes it so much better, though, is that they don’t need to numb you since the laser itself numbs you while it works. Of course she also didn’t have to numb the root-canalled tooth to remove the temporary filling since the root was dead. It was strange having her be able to use a drill on me without numbing me beforehand, LOL. The part where they fill the teeth is pretty much the same. It’s just so much nicer having the laser, which is water, clean out the decay instead of the drill. She only used the drill to file the fillings after they were cured to make sure my bite was where it should be.

I’m now whitening my teeth for the first time in months. I didn’t want to do it with open cavities because the bleach would irritate me. I’ve even got a pack of gum for the first time in a while to enjoy. I’m just so glad all this shit is over! Really hope it’s quite a while before my teeth give me any shit again. At the end of August, I’ll go in for a cleaning. It’s important to keep up with cleanings as easily as I get cavities, and I can see the plaque and tartar buildup that we all get no matter how well we care for our teeth.

Due to the virus, they texted me a quick virus questionnaire that I filled out and returned. Then I had to text them to let them know when I was there. A few minutes later they texted back saying I could come in. I went in with my mask on and used a hand sanitizer they had on their counter. There were a couple of other patients there and I saw another girl working with one of them. I’m guessing she’s the hygienist.

I’m glad I wore short sleeves instead of my sleeveless sundress because it was freezing in there. Like as cold as my old dentist used to keep her place. It was funny because she said I looked cute in my little “pink” outfit. Is she as colorblind as my dear hubby, LOL? That pink outfit was really bright orange with yellow and white stripes on the top. It’s one of the few outfits I still have that my mother sent before we left Auburn where the Golden State Killer and former pig once lived.

When I said I wished I could take them with us when we moved since they did such a great job, Dana asked where we were moving to. She didn’t seem too thrilled with what I told her, suggesting we test-drive it first since wet heat isn’t like dry heat. That’s exactly what we plan to do. The dentist, on the other hand, says humidity doesn’t bother her at all and she likes how it reduces wrinkles because it supposedly “puffs” you out, LOL. She said if she was retiring now, she’d move to South Carolina or Texas in a heartbeat. Texas is our backup state, as I told her. I’m more likely to have a problem sleeping through all the storms than dealing with the humidity but we’ll find out next year!

The thing is that we would be indoors in air-conditioning most of the time. It’s not like we would be outdoors a lot or going to many different places. Tom loves being retired and says he could easily stay home every day and catch up on all the fun projects he’s been wanting to do but just hasn’t had time to during all the years he worked. I can see where most would want to stay home when you had to go out day after day, decade after decade. However, he’s still open to going to the beach occasionally and taking a few trips here and there. But yeah, we’re both happy homebodies, you can say. There are only so many places to go every day, we’re not sociable, and we don’t want to always be doing things that cost money. But being homebodies doesn’t mean we’re lazy or irresponsible. We still keep active and take care of the necessary responsibilities that go into caring for the home, yard, pets, and each other.

So since I realized that yes, we really are moving in less than a year and there are only so many more recyclable pickups until then, I started going through unwanted items that can be recycled to toss out.

Dahl didn’t go saw crazy like I thought he would a couple of days ago, but he’s been having more company again and I wonder what’s up. I wonder if something’s wrong with him or maybe it was the anniversary of his wife’s death or something like that. I don’t know exactly when she died. I just know the other guy was a much quieter neighbor. Even the loud car he drove before he had a stroke was preferable to the random sawing.

Decided not to try to hold my schedule. It would only make me more tired than I already am enough of the time. I researched things that are found to be helpful with increasing energy and ginseng is recommended, so I got some tea with it that I’ll have the next time I’m so fatigued that I don’t even have the energy to work out.

Strangely enough, they still haven’t brought in the new house. What was even stranger was that I saw a black couple drive up in a car and then a skinny woman got out, sat down on the steps, and took a selfie. I wonder what the hell that was about. Can’t be a prospective buyer, fortunately, because the newsletter said the woman that lives there didn’t move. I would hate to have blacks move in that close. Even if they weren’t a problem, the chances of visitors with car stereos would be more likely.

Tom just saw Bob and Virginia leaving and Bob was driving. Wow! Didn’t realize he was still with it enough to drive, so that’s great.

Camp NaNoWriMo begins today and it’s time to get on with that!

[i-heart-slashers]

Sky Full Of Stars

(David x Human!Reader)

David always met you on the boardwalk, where Paul and Marko teased the two of you about your 'date days'. Your platinum blond vampire always took a day out of the week for a date with you.

Just you and him, no wild boys running around causing trouble.

You blushed heavily while David just watched them with a dry expression already used to their jesting. 

You're the only human for whom David has a soft spot, so he had no problem telling the boys off for teasing you. "If you two idiots want to meet the sun, I can help make that happen."

Their teasing stops instantly, but the cheeky smiles can't be hidden or changed.

Don't get them wrong; they already loved you like a sibling, but you were so fun to play with. Dwayne usually watched with a small smile, pushing them away when he thought they'd go too far.

"Kitten," David calls, revving his bike as he holds his hand out for you. Taking his offered help, you quickly get behind him and remind yourself to hold on tight, knowing how reckless he can get.

Although he may have a soft spot, you aren't exempt from David's teasing.

Getting further away from the sounds of screaming, carousel music, and the boardwalk lights, you could not help but wonder what David had in mind for tonight.

The revving of the bike engine was the only sound to be heard when your vampire drove to a deserted area. It was distinctly different from the loud and crowded boardwalk you were used to.

If you didn't know your boyfriend, you might have thought this would be where he would kill you. The classic trope of victim follows a hot guy only to be killed...

"Uh-" your dates with David weren't typically so secluded, sure it was always just the two of you, but the boys were usually around somewhere making sure no surf nazi's crashed your dates looking to pick a fight with David.

The blond just helped you off the bike while guiding you to the grassy area of the cliff top you were on. His mouth had turned into a slight smirk hearing the trepidation in your tone.

You know he would never hurt you, but your human senses still went haywire, knowing that you were close to a predator. It was like putting a bunny next to a fox.

David sat on the ground and silently pulled you into his lap, your back against his chest as he angled you both to look up at the stars. Being in such a bright place, light the boardwalk, you often miss the stars.

Pointing at different stars, you begin telling David facts about each constellation as he quickly hums behind you.

He unconsciously rubbed his cheek against your face as you spoke softly, smiling when you felt the scruff scratching you but said nothing. Any affection from David could be taken back just as quickly.

"You know Star tried to teach me about that astrology shit, but none of us wanted to listen" you rolled your eyes at Star's treatment before you met the boys. "It sounds better coming from you anyway."

Star was often treated as a glorified babysitter for laddie and treated poorly by the boys when you joined their group. The two of you becoming friends helped the guys develop the sisterly bond that Max had intended.

Hours went by with the two of you cuddling and generally just being together. David, when alone, wasn't a big talker. He felt no need to keep up his walls and show off his dominance. 

So being on a date where the two of you can just sit together without having to fill the silence was comforting. The softer side of your boyfriend wasn't often shown, but right now, he seemed so calm and peaceful that you didn't want it to end.

The drooping of your eyes, however, told a different story. You still weren't used to David and the others being 'nocturnal,' and hanging out with them took a toll on your sleep schedule.

"Come on, Kitten, let's get you home" He breathed into your ear, tapping you on the thigh. His breath makes you shiver as the blond pulls you up to stand next to him.

He sees your shiver and rolls his eyes, you couldn't even count the times he'd told you to put a coat on, but you never listened. Not because you wanted to be cold but because you knew what happened when you left home without it.

Halfway back to David's bike, you hear him sigh before a heavy material was draped over your shoulders. You turn your head with a grin seeing him put his long duster back on, only now the jacket from under it was now keeping you warm.

"Don't say I never do anything for you," He grumbled, helping you get on the bike behind him. You knew it wouldn't be long before 'vampire leader' David was back, so you just placed your head on his back.

"I never do," you whispered with a smile as he quickly squeezed your hands wrapped around him before the bike roared to life, taking you back to wild chaos.

[norangeyyy]

Late Night HCs

Bucci Gang Edition

TW: nothing too extreme, just a little bit of hurt/comfort stuff sprinkled right here and there.

Bruno Bucciarati

► Bucciarati typically doesn't stay up late at night, he has work and would squeeze all the amount of sleep he can get on his free time.

► Unless he has a lot of things in mind.

► It doesn't matter whether it's a work-related problem, his past, a random thought, or just generally his worries about his future. It will keep him up.

► He'll definitely need someone to be an outlet but if no one's available, he'll just stare at the night sky and distract himself with the moving clouds or finish some of his work until he's too tired to think of anything.

► If you happen to be in the same situation and same place that night though, then make sure that you take care of the trust he has for you when he was at most vulnerable and he will do same with you.

► I personally headcannon Bucciarati to be the type to like those kind of conversations since i highly doubt that he has been so vulnerable in front of anyone besides Abbachio ever since he joined the mafia.

► And even then, he's mostly the one who lifts the spirits up and not the other way around since he's the leader.

► So expect to hear things and words you wouldn't expect to come from the Bucciarati you see everyday come spilling out of his mouth, it'll be a lot.

► Pat his back or better yet, give him a hug and brush his hair while doing so. He needs it a lot since he hasn't really got one after his family fell apart.

► "I feel so much better now, thank you. I'll make sure not to forget about this night. "

Leone Abbachio

► The night owl of the gang.

► Staying up until 3AM is nothing new to this man, hell, he could even go on a whole day without sleep if he has a lot of things that's bothering him.

► He's the opposite of Bucciarati, he prefers to shoulder his intrusive thoughts alone. It'd take some great amount of effort and trust to make him talk and let it out.

► What he does during those times is either using his stand to replay certain memories that could either worsen his guilt or put him at ease, or just drink until he passes out but most of the time, he does both.

► He could also be listening to some music while he does so but if he's feeling guilty for making Bucciarati concerned about his frequent drinking, then he'll just listen to music and hope that he'll fall asleep and not just keep his eyes closed until the sun rises.

► It works, kind of, but even without alcohol driving him to sleep, he'll always be tired. His sleeping schedule is seriously messed up because he never really cared about it in the first place.

► Would sometimes go out for a walk. Leone is fond of the city's peacefulness when everyone is asleep, with the only thing keeping him accompany is the cold air and the dim light of the lampposts.

► Secretly still has his police uniform and would occasionally take it out just to stare at it or talk to it in a not-so-kind of way as he sees his younger self in it.

► Gets dragged in whatever shit Narancia and the others are up to if he gets spotted. Mostly it's just for a movie night behind Bucciarati's back but Abbachio knows better and expects the unexpected when it comes to the gang.

► Knows what everyone does in late night if they're still up and has seen a lot of ungodly sights.

► Whether it be seeing a sleepy Mista and the pistols chanting a weird prayer to a bowl of cereals or Fugo being dragged out of his room by Narancia, Leone knows it.

Pannacotta Fugo

► Just like Bucciarati, Fugo rarely stays up late at night and if he does, it's usually just because he's busy.

► Fugo has hobbies like painting and reading, everyone in the gang knows that. It's just that he gets carried way too far sometimes and loses track of time.

► Who could blame him though when the book he's reading is just too interesting or the painting he's currently working on is almost done, right?

► On extremely rare occasions where something unpleasant enough to keep Fugo up at night happens, he'll bundle himself in his fluffy blanket like a butterfly in its cocoon.

► He always does this back when he's still living with his parents, it makes him feel safe from anything that's haunting him.

► And if it's neither his hobbies or problems that's keeping him up, he'll just hear Narancia whispering outside his door or Mista throwing pebbles at his window.

► For the first few times the duo did this, Fugo was still able to resist until he just can't anymore knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone all night.

► "Well, this isn't so bad. "

► He says as he enthusiastically tosses a popcorn into his mouth with his eyes glued all over the lit screen of the TV.

► Movie nights, along with sneaking out to go the nearest convenience store, became a common thing between the Torture Dance Trio™ ever since then.

Narancia Ghirga

► The type to wake up in the middle of the night and think "Hmm... Everyone's asleep, let's commit robbery tonight!"

► Fugo's sleep paralysis demon.

► Would literally not hesitate to steal chocolate bars with Mista and probably does 3AM challenges with him too.

► Never runs out of ideas to keep himself up at night and is the one who comes up with everything but what he does still depends on his mood.

► If Narancia's feeling a little too lazy then he'll just sleep and most of the time, with music keeping him accompany. But unlike Abbachio, he purposely doesn't wear headphones just to annoy Fugo whose room is right next to his.

► If he's feeling like it, he'll straight up just invite the others to watch a movie or play videogames even though Bruno has already made it clear not to use the TV after 11PM.

► But just as he likes staying up at night doing crazy things with the boys, he also uses his energy left and free time to self-study, as surprising that may sound.

► He may hate reading but he takes advantage of the fact that his brain is much active at night and he doesn't want to depend on Fugo too much. After all, he dreams on going back to school and he's more than willing to be capable enough to do so alone and pass without the other teen's help.

► Will cuddle anything that's near him while he studies but if you give him a plushie, it'll be instantly his favorite and he would definitely use it as a study buddy.

Guido Mista

► Alright, let's be honest here, this dude wouldn't even stay up if it weren't for his bros.

► 5 seconds lying on the bed and he's already knocked out for a good 10 hours if there's no work he has to do for the day. Make it 8 at weekdays thanks to his mafia-related responsibilities.

► He sleeps like a log so only a combination of shaking him up awake with Fugo and Narancia can make him rise from what seems like a two year coma but is really just a normal tuesday night.

► Will pretty much join Narancia at anything he does but since his last three brain cells are obviously still as half asleep as him, he won't be able to remember that much the next day.

► And once he's out of the room and is already sitting on the couch with the guys, Mista's the type to fall asleep halfway through the movie.

► You can't blame him though, it's 12AM and it seems that Fugo got to choose what movie they'll watch since Narancia already got to choose the other night.

► Unless they're playing videogames or are going out then he won't be acting like a slow ass PVZ zombie with a fried brain. Actually, he'll be hella active if that's the case.

► Active at grabbing every snack each second, that is.

► Actually, it's the pistols who does that but oh well, it's not like Mista's innocent too.

► "I swear it's not me who ate all of our groceries for this month! Right, guys?! It's the pistols! "

► And that, everyone, is how Guido blew their little rendezvous without even trying.

Giorno Giovanna

► There's not much to be said about this boy since just like Mista, Giorno goes to bed early as he makes sure he still gets the proper amount of sleep.

► He already has a lot of things to deal with at day so of course, by the end of it, he'll be exhausted.

► Nights before exams are excluded because although he may seem like he skips class sometimes, Giorno still knows his priorities.

► Only when he became the head of the mafia did he really started to lose sleep as great power comes with great responsibilities.

► It took a LONG time for Giorno to adjust to a lot of things cause come on, he maybe resilient but he's still a 15 year old teen.

► Not only does he have towers after towers of work but i like to imagine that he still continued his education and used some of the things he learns in class in the mafia, specifically in classes like history or geography class since as a boss, he has to know every nook and cranny of Italy.

► Not to mention that emergencies happen and he always has to be ready to give out orders, even if it means being woken up at 1AM.

► God, help this child because all the things mentioned above are just an understatement of what happens on the first few months of being in charge of Passione.

► "So this is why Diavolo looks like he's about to explode whenever something goes wrong huh. "

[thedandelion-writer]

❝sleeping habbits, mondstadt edition❞

Pairings: Diluc x reader, Mona x reader, Kaeya x reader, Jean x reader

A/N: There we go, part 2! Also a modern au :)

<- Liyue edition

Diluc hardly ever sleeps deeply

Some days, he'd even wake at the slightest sound

He feels the most vulnerable when asleep, thus the hyperawareness

You snort and thinks it's funny. Relax Diluc, no one's going to murder you in your sleep!

Right..?

On the days where you would come into bed after he was already turned in, you had to tiptoe around as if you were afraid of disturbing a baby. Even your breathing was silent.

The amount of sound that would wake him up varied. But you weren't sure if today was especially bad, as in footsteps could wake him up bad, or if it was mild, as in even the rustling of the covers would be okay.

It was all going well so far. You've slipped into sleepwear and was just about to settle in, mentally congratulating yourself. But maybe you thought you were in the clear too soon, because as soon as your weight hit the bed, it creaked.

You cringed inwardly, slapping a hand over your eyes as Diluc stirred.

"Don't wake up, love," you skirted over. "It's really late."

"It is really late." Was that an accusing tone you heard?

"Hehe...I was just finishing up some work." You quickly slipped underneath the sheets, body instantly enveloped in warmth. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Diluc shook his head before pulling you in closer.

"It's better with you here," he said. "I wouldn't mind staying up all night to wait."

Or maybe it wasn't the so called assassins who might come to him in the night that he feared. Maybe it was because he was afraid that he wouldn't see you again the next time he awoke.

Diluc doesn't really have a set time in which he'd go to bed

But he goes in relatively early because he also wakes up, relatively early

He was used to sleeping alone for the longest time, but now you've come and spoiled him

It just doesn't feel the same without you next to him anymore

Mona is the type of person who'd keep all her astrology books, trinkets, etc on her bed

Just splayed out and messy because she fell asleep whilst using them last night. And the night before...and the night before that

Never bothered to cleaning it up because it'll end up messy again anyway!

Sometimes you'd roll onto your back and ouch--there'd be a mini telescope or something

"Oww," you groaned, a pain stabbing at your side.

The culprit? It was unsurprisingly yet another one of Mona's astrologer's stuff. What the heck was this even called?

After plucking out the round, metal offender to place on the windowsill, you look over to your sleeping lover.

"Well at least someone's getting a good night sleep," you grumbled.

Somehow Mona always found a way to avoid all the nonsense she laid scattered on your shared bed. You always supported her passions, but this is getting out of hand.

As if sensing someone was talking (or in this case, thinking) about her, Mona stretched a little and curled up tighter into herself. You sighed softly to yourself, not being able to be annoyed for long.

You cleaned up the best you could (even though you already did that before turning in), and laid back down beside her. You'd have to make sure Mona would pay you for the troubles she's caused you tonight. And you only accept payment in cuddles!

The bed has to be beside a window. Always.

If the skies are clear and starry you best believe she'd be staring at them, talking about the things she loved most (other than you of course- ) until the both of you drift off

The girl's a night owl so you have to be able to put up with late night tinkering

Also--awful awful bedhead

But don't ever say it to her face, you will get hit by a pillow (or worse!!)

The guy has absolutely no regard for how freaking cold he keeps his room

It's an eternal winter in there, even when it's blazing hot outside

Worst part? He doesn't even have a proper blanket. That, sir, is a rectangular piece of cloth

If you like the cold? Then sure, let him keep it that way. If not, you would have to make some changes around here.

"You should've told me you lived in a fridge??" You said, half jokingly through chattered teeth.

"You don't like it sweetheart?" He faked hurt, sauntering up behind you to grasp your shoulders as if you were newlyweds inspecting a new house to move into.

"Uhh well, there's literal frost on the edges of your window. And it's not even winter, Kaeya, clearly I'll be a popsicle by morning!"

It was your first night staying with him. And in your head, it was going to be all romantic like you've seen in the novels and shows. Warm cuddles, kisses underneath the blankets (oh my gods that blanket is paper thin), legs and arms entwined and you'd wake up like that.

But archons be damned, this was not what you had imagined.

"You'd make a very good looking popsicle then, love," he had the nerve to laugh so you elbowed him in the ribs.

"Alright alright, I'll make it warmer for you, how does that sound?"

"And I want a new blanket."

"Consider it done," he ruffled your hair to press a kiss onto the crown of your head.

Anything to please his darling.

He also sleep talks

And it's the funniest shit you'll ever hear if you're awake to hear it

One time you recorded it and now you use it as blackmail, threatening to send it to Diluc every time he'd get too cheeky

Her sleeping schedule is messed. up.

Jean would never admit it, but she loses a lot of rest time due to her work

You keep telling her to please get more than 2 and a half hours of shut-eye per day, but she is stubborn as she is lovely

Which worries you a heck of a lot, obviously

Doesn't help the fact that this woman can sleep anywhere. On a chair sitting down, face on a desk, on the bus, against you, the list goes on

Sometimes, when she's worked herself to the limit, you'll find her asleep at the most bizarre of places

Funny story! One time, Jean fell asleep on the train on the way home and missed all her stops

You had to find her in the middle of nowhere

"Darling-" you hurried to embrace your tired looking lover as she ambled her way out of the station.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to come get me in the middle of the night," Jean murmured into the crook of your neck. "I must have worried you too...I apologise."

You held your tongue at all the things you piled up to say on the drive here, but the scolding could wait until tomorrow. Right now, looking at her exhausted complexion, you couldn't bring yourself to tell her anything other than everything's alright, she can rest now.

Jean looked at you with eyes full of appreciation and affection, eyes that never failed to melt you like ice cream on the summer pavement.

Aside from that, she likes to keep the bedroom very neat

If she does sleep in the bed, Jean would constantly put your comfort over hers

You need some warm milk in the middle of the night? She's on it!!

Your pillows feel uncomfortable? Take hers!!

Oh dear you've accidentally rolled too much into her side? It's no problem, she can just move over to yours

Good morning kisses are her thing

But usually she gives it to you because she's almost always out of it first

[t0wnspersonb]

Rest (Bakugo Katsuki x Reader)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,515

Warning: SMUT, LANGUAGE

I’m literally in love with Bakugo Katsuki. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while and I might make this a small series, I love me some domesticated shit and I hope you guys do too. This is the first smut I’ve ever written so please keep that in mind as you’re reading lmao. I hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugo sighed deeply as he dropped his duffle bag to the ground with a soft thud. His red eyes burned with exhaustion, his body felt incredibly heavy tonight after his shift. 

It wasn’t that he disliked being a top pro-hero, far from it. 

In fact, if someone were to ask him if he hated or loved being a hero he would scoff at them and blast their ass.

Of course he loved his job.

Becoming a pro-hero was his dream, the ultimate goal in his life. The amount of hours, blood, sweat, and tears he had put into his training was not for nothing.

Of course he fucking loved his job.

But sometimes. 

Sometimes he wouldn’t mind being able to rest.

Like now.

Now, all he wanted to do was eat and sleep.

Bakugo flipped the light on in the kitchen, taking notice of the just washed dishes in the dish rack and the scent of cleanser lingering in the air.

Y/n must’ve cleaned up before she went to work. He thought briefly before opening up the fridge to see what was available to eat. 

His expression softened once he laid his eyes on the plate of food wrapped up with a note on top.

Missing you a lot today, don’t overwork yourself.-Y/n

After reheating his dinner he sat down at the table, sighing deeply once more now that he was finally off of his feet.

It had been a long couple of days. A couple of weeks of nonstop back-to-back hero work. Which meant that Bakugo was rarely home, either arriving far too late into the night, or leaving far too early in the morning. There were only small traces that he had actually been there, a coffee cup left in the sink, the bathroom being damp still from a shower.

It was weeks like this one that were incredibly taxing on Bakugo, and that was because he never got to see you. 

His wife. 

It also didn’t help that your work schedule at the hospital was just as busy. Almost seemingly as the exact opposite of his.

He figured you had another night shift tonight as he headed to the bedroom.

But he froze at the doorway.

The tightness in his body melted completely as he gazed at your sleeping figure. 

You were curled up under the blankets, fast asleep, and completely unaware of the tall man staring at you.

Bakugo couldn’t move fast enough.

All he could think about was curling up against you tonight, holding you close, and burying his face into your hair.

He had missed you too much.

He stripped down to his underwear and moved to slide under the blankets, his expression further softening as he noticed that you were wearing one of his t-shirts.

Carefully coming up behind you, he moved to wrap one of his arms around your waist. He pulled you in close, tucking you into his chest easily.

But you were roused awake from the sudden movement.

“Katsu?” you mumbled softly, eyes still heavy with sleep but you shifted your body so that you were facing the warm solid man now next to you.

“Go back to sleep.” he grumbled, both of you settling down against one another. He peered down at you with a gentle expression.

He had never seen anything more beautiful. 

“How was it today?” you hummed softly, slinging your right arm around his broad shoulder, your leg kicking up to wrap around his waist. 

Bakugo wrapped his fingers around your thigh, tugging you closer. His hand was big and warm, the roughness of his palms and fingers felt perfect against your soft skin. 

A touch you were desperately craving the past couple of weeks. 

“Dumbass Deku got overrun with the villains we were chasing down, I had go and save his stupid ass.” he grumbled, moving his hand up to slide into your shirt, his fingers tracing patterns into your back.

“Hmm.” you sighed softly, nuzzling your nose against his collarbone, inhaling that familiar burnt caramel scent.

Both of you were quiet for a moment, enjoying each other’s company. It was clear that both of you were exhausted, but neither of you had gone to sleep just yet.

There was a hum in the air.

A familiar one.

You looked up at the man that you’ve known your entire life. His eyes were closed, but you knew that he wasn’t asleep.

Your gaze started at the top of his head. His spiky hair was more disheveled than usual, but you knew that it was incredibly soft and perfect beneath your fingers.

Moving your eyes further down you took in his perfectly arched eyebrows and long lashes, but beneath that you noticed the dark circles framing his lower lids. 

Frowning softly at your husband’s apparent lack of sleep you continued your search against his face. 

His nose was perfect, and just below it, those soft full lips.

Your stomach flipped pleasantly. A familiar feeling bubbling in your lower stomach.

He was fucking beautiful.

And that was just his face. You knew that his body was just as perfect, if not better.

It was as if Bakugo Katsuki was sculpted from the gods themselves. 

How you were married to such a beautiful man, you didn’t know. It was then that you started to be more aware of those muscular arms that were wrapped around you. Those strong, thick fingers gripping your upper thigh tightly.

Your heart rate picked up, and you shifted slightly, attempting to get closer to him.

“Stop staring at me, shitty woman.” he grumbled, cracking one eye open to peer down at you. “It’s fucking creepy.”

Now you remember how you ended up with this beautiful man. His shit fucking personality. 

I guess it’s true when they say you can’t have it all, you thought dryly. Of course your husband couldn’t be a gorgeous man without having some kind of flaw. 

It was actually a wonder how you guys had been together so long. 

Childhood friends turned lovers.

You had been by his side since birth it felt like. 

Considering your mother and his mother were good friends, it was bound to happen that you two would be as well. 

You were the complete opposite of Bakugo. 

Kind. Sweet. Gentle. 

You weren’t in the hero course when you had gone to U.A., rather you had gotten into the support course.

Which wasn’t a problem for you. You didn’t want to become a hero. Rather, being able to help behind the scenes and being able to support those that wanted to be on the front lines, protecting and saving people, like your husband.

“Don’t be mean Katsu, I haven’t seen your grumpy face in weeks. Can’t a wife just look at her husband?” You grumbled pinching and pulling his cheeks.

He huffed angrily, grabbing your wrist and attempting to pull your fingers away from his face. “Let go, that fucking hurts.” he growled. “Stupid woman, you think I want to come home and be pestered like this?”

You snorted, an amused expression on your face as you ignored Bakugo’s increasing insults and attempts at stopping you from pulling his cheeks, increasing the pressure of your fingers on his face.

“You little shit.” he growled. He gripped your wrist tightly and shifted one of his legs to be between your thighs and moved, heaving you onto your back. Your wrists were pinned on either side of your head, Bakugo above you.

Oh fuck.

The position you were in caused your heart rate to pick up once again. Your eyes flickered down his body, appreciating the bulging muscles and the way his boxers now hung lower on his hips. 

The smirk on his face wasn’t helping the situation either. 

“Like what you see?” he sneered.

You rolled your eyes and moved your leg, shifting it up so that you could press your knee carefully against his crotch.

You could feel his growing bulge. You felt the rising blush in your face and looked away from him, going to move your leg down from its current position. But Bakugo was too fast for you, he grabbed your leg and hitched it over his hip and settled himself between your legs. Pressing himself to your center.

You couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips. 

“Why are you getting all shy now?” he teased, rolling his hips against yours. 

“Sh-Shut up.” you gasped, lips parting in arousal. “You haven’t even kissed me yet Katsu.”

He chuckled slightly, and released his grip on your wrists, allowing you to slither your arms around his neck, sliding your fingers into the back of hair. He leaned closer down to your face, one his hands grabbing at your jaw, the other one propping himself up to keep most of his weight off of you.

And then he was kissing you. His lips hot and urgent against yours, his tongue already poking through your lips, eager to taste the inside of your mouth.

You moaned softly, arching your body into his as your grip in his hair tightened. 

Bakugo growled against your mouth, grinding into your core harshly.

All thoughts of sleep are now gone. All Bakugo could think about was you, and how much he wanted to be inside of you. It had been far too long since the last time he'd had you, and now, he wasn’t going to wait any longer.

“Fuck, what do you want?” he growled, pulling away from you and seeing your swollen lips. Your eyes were wide and bright, full of want and need. 

His stomach churned pleasantly.

Before you could answer him his fingers were already where you wanted them the most. He rubbed at your clit in harsh controlled circles, his red eyes dark and filled with need as he gazed at your moaning flushed face.

“K - ah - Katsu. Please,” you whimpered, gripping his hair tightly between your fists. Your hips moving along with his fingers.

“Please what? What do you want?” he sneered, applying more pressure before he pushed your panties to the side, his middle finger sliding against your wet slit, but not fully penetrating you.

You felt tears gathering at the corner of your eyes, it had been too long. All you wanted was him to fuck you already. 

“You. I want you please.” you moaned out, bucking your hips up, urging him to enter you already. “Please Katsu, I missed you so much.”

Fuck. 

He missed you too. He was tired of the foreplay already, he needed to be inside you. 

Snarling loudly he all but ripped the clothes off your body before removing his boxers. His member stood tall and gorgeously thick against his stomach.

Your mouth watered at the sight, you wanted it in your mouth.

“Later.” he growled, noticing the look on your face. “I want to fuck you already.”

He spread your legs apart, gazing at you hungrily before taking his cock and rubbing it against your glistening slit, and then he rammed into you.

You cried out loudly as Bakugo set a brutal pace. Hard and fast, and incredibly deep inside your pussy.

It had been too long, your body needing time to adjust to his intrusion, your walls stretching to fit his thickness.

But he wouldn’t let you. Bakugo gave in to his desire and set a pace that had you gasping to keep up. 

Fuck did it feel good though.

The familiar pressure building up within yourself, ready to snap at any minute.

Bakugo was snarling above you, lost in the pleasure of your warm, wet walls gripping him tighter and tighter. He knew you were almost at your limit, he was too. 

He knew he wasn’t going to last long, it had been too long since the last time he was inside of you, but he needed you to cum first.

His grip was bruising on your hips; his mouth sucking and biting at every inch of skin that was within his reach. You knew you were going to have marks in the morning, but you didn’t care. 

His cock rubbed into the deepest parts of you, leaving you breathless and shaking. He always made you feel so full. 

“You gonna cum on my cock princess?” he growled, reaching down and rubbing your clit again. 

Your back arched, your head thrashing against the pillows as your pleasure began to build further up. “Katsu - ngh - I’m close.” you whimpered out.

He smirked, pulling out of your pussy before slamming himself back in.

And that was it.

You came hard, crying out and trembling beneath him, your wetness gushing out and staining the sheets below.

He snarled loudly, jackhammering his hips into yours as he chased his release before groaning lowly in his throat and spilling himself inside of you.

His hips finally stilled, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against yours softly before trailing delicate kisses against the bites he had left scattered across your throat and collar bone. 

He stayed buried deep inside of you as he continued to soothe your battered body.

Bakugo knew that he was never gentle when you guys made love. He knew that his pace was always rough and harsh, but the aftercare was a different story.

After the intense fucking he always gave you, it was important for him to take care of you tenderly. He carefully pulled his softened cock out of you, hushing you softly as you whimpered from the loss.

He watched as his cum seeped out of you, smirking slightly to himself before he pressed a gentle kiss to your hip and got up to the bathroom to get a warm wet cloth to clean you and himself up.

When he came back you were already on the verge of falling asleep again. He sat near your legs, pressing a soft kiss to your knee as he cleaned up the mess he made between your legs.

You hissed softly, your lower body sore and sensitive. He hushed you once more as he finished cleaning up, tossing the cloth somewhere behind him, he’d take of that in the morning.

Starting at your hips he trailed his soft lips up your body, pressing the sweetest kisses into your skin, gazing at you with gentle eyes.

The aftercare was his favorite part.

You were so fucking beautiful like this, completely drained after all the pleasure that he had given you. Your skin littered with his marks, your lips red and swollen from his intense kisses, your hair a ruffled mess around your head after moving it back and forth so much. 

He pulled the blankets over your bodies as he settled next to you, wrapping his arms around your body tightly.

He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, your eyes closing automatically, sleep ready to take you under.

“I love you Katsu.” you breathed softly, pressing your face into his chest. “So much.”

“Go to sleep.” he grumbled tenderly, placing another kiss to the crown of your head. “I got you."

[astaroth1357]

AYE requests briefly open you say? Then here ya go: MC (female or gn) turns into a child for a day courtsey of Solomon (maybe around 5) with the Brothers. I think it'd be adorable, what with finger painting on spell books and things, but there ya go!

The MC is Now Five Years Old, Thanks Solomon...

Oh boy…. A little kid in Hell sounds like a train wreck admittedly, but at least they'll have some pretty strong guardians right? I heard It'll Be Okay by SMLE & Helen Tess and decided that was JUST the feel this sort of request needed.

Intro:

Solomon really doesn't mess up spells often. He's been doing this for a while (at least as far as my headcanon is concerned) so he's gotten pretty damn good at magic over the years. It takes a looot to make him mess up. Like say, a natural disaster, an unexpected surprise… or a whole-ass MC getting knocked into what sigil he's using at just the wrong time. Yeah. That'll do it.

How in the world is he going to explain this to the brothers…?

Lucifer

His anger toward Solomon is quite severe… tempered only slightly by how utterly adorable kid!MC is. (Well all know he's got that soft spot for cute things 🤭) It reminds him so much of his brothers at that age…

The man basically reverts back to being Dad!Lucifer sooo fast.

He's the one tying their shoes, checking on them throughout the day, making sure they're not running with scissors… that sort of thing.

Weirdly enough he's not that bothered by it… In fact, his brothers find it a little unnerving just how at peace he seems when he's keeping track of kid!MC doing this or that… It's like he's just put on an old pair of gloves and found out they still fit.

Speaking of his brothers, Lucifer can't turn off "Parent Mode" so it starts spilling over to them too...

When he started telling Levi "It's bedtime" and used a napkin to wipe Beel's face for him in public, they decided to hold an informal intervention. They're grown demons now, damnit!! 😖

Mammon

The first thing kid!MC did when they saw Mammon was fling themselves at him while screaming "MAMMIE!!!" at the top of their lungs… Regardless of his confusion, the man could probably die happy now.

He only gripes a little bit about being saddled with babysitting duty… Because everybody knows he's not the babysitter now. He's the playmate.

"Mammie, I wanna play House!!" "I ain't playing House with ya, kid. How 'bout Tag?" "No way, you're too fast!"  "Hide'n Seek?" "Luci said we can't play that no more…" "Well don't hide in the oven again!" "You didn't find me!!" "That was the problem!!!"

Pretty much the Man-Child/Actual Child Duo. He's perfect for keeping up with them and they'll whine incessantly when they can't find him for too long...

Totally the brother to take them to the amusement park or really any of those super fun places kids love. He will be just as excited as they are to be there, too.

It's not uncommon to find Mammon passed out on a couch or something with an equally exhausted kid!MC sleeping on his back. The two can really wear each other out…

Leviathan

He's probably the least perturbed by this change. Sudden de-aging of characters is a pretty popular anime trope, after all...

He's not all that taken with kid!MC though to be honest… Largely because he's too worried about keeping his stuff out of their grubby mitts. 😖

"Levi, what's this?" "GAH! Don't touch that!! That's my limited edition Ultra☆Rainbow Witch figurine!!" "I wanna play with it, though!" "It's not a toy!!" "That's not fair! You have nothing but toys, Levi!! You need to share!!" "NO I DON'T!!!"

In those times where Lucifer forces him to share, Levi goes full neat-freak. He handles all the discs and games himself, everything gets practically sterilized, and kid!MC HAS to wash their hands before they touch ANYTHING (especially the game controllers). He ain't risking any random kid-gunk getting on his precious possessions… 😰

He does enjoy playing games with them well enough, at least. No one's going to pass up a game of Devil Kart after all!

Sometimes he'll let them win just to see how happy they get… Though, then they start getting a big head about it so he has to remind him who the actual gamer is with another string of losses... Sucks to suck, kid! 😌😏

Satan

… You know, five year-olds ask a lot of questions… A looot of questions…

"Satan, what's that?" "An umbrella. You use it so that rain doesn't get on you." "Where does rain come from?" "Evaporated water collects in the atmosphere and-" "Is rain like the sky peeing?" "...." "Satan? Does your face hurt?... Satan?"

Please Lord, they may not be on speaking terms, but someone has to have mercy on his patience...

In truth, Satan's kind of charmed by how curious kid!MC is, he just wished they'd listen more to his boring explanations…

"Satan? Why does everyone listen to Diavolo?" "Lord Diavolo is like a king to us demons." "Where's his crown?" "He doesn't wear a crown." "Oh… You don't wear a crown and people listen to you. Are you a king too?" "I mean, you're not wrong… 😏" "Satan, get back to work."

Eh, maybe having a little MC isn't all that bad. They don't lie, after all. 😌

Asmodeus

OMG he hasn't seen a child this cute since the twins were in diapers!!!!

If Mammon isn't around then Asmo takes over babysitting duties (like an actual babysitter) and he's more than happy to do it. It reminds of him of taking care of baby Belphie!

If kid!MC has any interest at all in makeup then he's happy to foster it. He won't give them the good stuff of course, but he'll show them how to do blush, eyes, lipstick, nail polish, whatever!

He also dabbles in a bit of facepaint so do they want to look like a kitty, panda, or dragon? He's got them covered.

Asmo just likes to let them be creative in all forms, really. He's going to be the one to break out the paint and markers and just the kid!MC go to town! (hopefully not on the walls…)

Takes pictures of whatever they draw, good or bad, and happily displays them to everyone. There's not a big enough fridge to hold all the art he's going to collect (and zealously protect).

Beelzebub

Playmate #2 right after Mammon, but he's the less excitable, more responsible one.

"Beel! Beel! Watch me jump off this slide!!" 😰 "Please don't… You could hurt yourself… You slide down slides. That's why they're called that." "*GASP*... That's right! You're a genius!!" *sits back down* "Not really, but thank you." 😊 *waits for them at the bottom*

If the MC is with Beel, they're doing one of two things. Either they're playing together or gorging themselves on junk food.

Beel actually likes "domestic" games like House and Tea Party because it's an excuse to raid the kitchen. He'll play "house-husband" all day as long as he gets to actually eat at every imaginary dinnertime.

He'll play active games too, of course. Especially action-oriented ones like "Cops and Robbers" or Superheros. No one's better at roughhousing than Beel! Though he'll go easy on them, cause they're small and all… 😅

Everyone can always tell when Beel's in charge of them because he carries them around on his shoulders. He's the tallest one of the family so it's like getting to be a giant!

Belphegor

Belphie was introduced to kid!MC when they started crying during one of his naps. They couldn't wake him and they thought he was dead… Followed directly by them declaring their tears were magic when they noticed his eyes opened.

He proceeded to close his eyes again and purposely play dead just to get them all worried again. It was the smile creeping up onto his face that eventually gave him away… 😏

He likes to play with kid!MC and Beel but he's not going to let it get in the way of his nap schedule or anything. When they play "Knights" he gets to take the role of the world's laziest dragon… Rawr.

Kid!MC will only settle down for naptime if Belphie joins too since he'll read them a book like he used to do with Lilith.

Satan's usually the go-to guy for storytime, but Belphie's a close second (largely because he just imitates what he remembers Lucifer doing for him, voices and all 🤭).

He deals with their myriad of questions by just making shit up and pretending he knows what he's talking about. It's around the time that he told them that little men live inside the freezer and shave ice cubes to keep things cold that Lucifer started getting on his case about it… Killjoy. 🙄

[h2bakugou]

I don’t know if I have sent a request before but here I go anyways, can I request a head cannon for the three musketeers (todobakudeku) (separate) when their s/o flinches during and argument. No rush and take your time thank you!

a/n: thank you for the request even if you haven't sent one in before! i haven’t written some angst in a bit but i’ll try to give these a happy ending!!

headcanon: their s/o flinches during an argument

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, some angst 

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Todoroki doesn’t like arguing with you. He finds arguing quite pointless. There are more civil ways to come to an understanding but yelling at one another just sounds like a waste of time.

He’d much rather prefer to sit down and discuss things with you, listening to what you have to say and saying what he believes.

But there are some rare times where some arguments just form out of nowhere.

This particular argument is about nothing in particular.

It would be like having an argument over someone taking all the cover while they slept. Which is what Todoroki had claimed you were doing.

“We can get another blanket.” You smiled. The few times you’d actually slept together, seriously sleeping together, you might’ve taken all the blanket.

“It’s fine if you could just learn to share.” Todoroki mentioned, once again showing you how large the blanket was.

“I’m asleep and I’m cold, I’m sorry I’m taking all the blanket. I thought you had a half-hot side to keep you warm at night jeez.” Your stab wasn’t meant to mock him or his father, but Todoroki sure took it that way.

“You know how I feel about my left side.” Todoroki had finished folding the blanket, placing it back on your bed. 

You couldn’t help but sigh. He was really making this a problem.

“It’s a blanket. You don’t have to lay with me if you get so cold at night.” You folded your arms over your chest. You really couldn’t believe you were arguing with your boyfriend over a blanket.

“I want to lay with you but being cold is quite a nuisance-”

“I’m sorry i take the damn blanket! Just take it back! Jeez, you are making this so much harder than it has to be Sho.” You cut him off, tired of having to fight over a blanket.

His next actions were what threw you off. He was silent and he turned away from you.

Scared you had overstepped, you reached out to touch his left shoulder right when it set ablaze, singeing his shirt.

Flinching away from him, you stumbled back onto your bed. 

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, looking down as you stared at your hand, red from the immense heat that had grazed over it. Worried that he’d burned you, Shoto quickly turned around, panicking.

“I apologize. Are you hurt? I didn’t burn you did I?” Todoroki examines your hand, completely off of the blanket subject.

“I’m fine-”

“No no. that was not fine. I overreacted. I’m sorry. My love, I’m so sorry.” Todoroki kissed the palm of your hand before placing it on his right side, holding it to his cheek, allowing his cool skin to ease the redness on your palm.

“Can we cuddle tonight?” You ask, a small smile on your lips.

“I promise to share the blanket.” You throw in, rubbing your thumb over his cheek.

“Of course, my love.”

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

I’m not saying possessive Bakugou is a bad thing, because it’s not. But there are times when Bakugou can be a bit overbearing.

He’s not doing it on purpose by no means.

But I think deep down, he might struggle with insecurity. Everyone does.

He’s a pretty egotistical guy, and he’s cocky, and he’s got an attitude. But that doesn’t mean he has dark thoughts that creep into his head and tell him that no matter what he’ll never amount to anything great.

All that perseverance has to come from somewhere.

The argument sparks from you, Kirishima, and Kaminari all hanging out together.

“Hey babe, I’m back! Sorry, I’m late.” You smile, arriving at your scheduled hangout with Bakugou just a few minutes late.

“Oh yeah, how were Kirishima and Kaminari?” Bakugou asks, glaring at you as he stands up from sitting on his bed, patiently waiting for you.

“They were great like always-”

“So great you couldn’t send me a fucking text? Or pick up my calls?” Bakugou interrupts. 

Your mouth hangs open at his response. You quickly grab your phone and examine that you did indeed have missed calls and texts from ‘katsu<3′ in your phone.

“I was helping clean up and by the time I was done, I was rushing over here. I didn’t do it on purpose.” You tell him, surely this was all some misunderstanding.

“Are they better than me? Do they have something I don’t? I’m the best there fucking is here babe, you aren’t gonna get shit from anyone else that you’ll get from me.” Bakugou approached you, causing you to take a step back.

When your back met the door you thought you were done for. The raised hand coming up, surely to strike you, made you flinch, cowering down as it crashed into the wooden door you were pressed against.

In those few seconds of silence, waiting for something to happen, Bakugou recoiled, snaking back a few steps, staring at your small form.

His words were quiet.

“I’m sorry.” He said. You lifted your head to look at him. His own head was lowered.

You approached him and carefully placed your hands on his shoulders.

“Katsu, there’s no one else but you. I love you. More than you probably know. I don’t need anyone else but you.” You explained, watching as his blonde locks began to rise with the movement of his head.

His crimson eyes stared into your (e/c) ones.

“I’m sorry.” Bakugou wrapped his arms around you. Bakugou didn’t hate affection, but he did reserve himself. He only opened up to you like this in private. His ego was a bit too big to pull some sappy stunts out in public, but this was what mattered.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you. I was just mad. I’m sorry if I scared you.” Bakugou whispered.

“I know you weren’t. I trust you.” You kiss his cheek, sliding your hands into his.

“Wanna get some pizza and watch a movie?”

“That sounds nice.” Bakugou rested his head on your shoulder, sure to be a bit soft for a while. He wasn’t always big and bad but soft Bakugou was still just as sweet.

»»————-　★　————-««

izuku midoriya

»»————-　★　————-««

Bless his heart, he hates arguing. 

He’s one hell of a hero, one hell of a fighter, and he’ll beat a bitch up if he needs to.

But with you, the thought of even having to raise his voice at you makes him worry. That’s not saying that he can’t but he doesn’t like arguing, not with you at least.

He cares about you, and he doesn’t want to hurt you.

Like Todoroki, he believes there are civil ways to resolve issues, and communication and understanding, and listening are big roles in avoiding arguments.

But when some of these factors fall through, chaos is sure to ensue.

There’s a bit of a fallout with communication when Deku accidentally sends the wrong time for your date.

It’s a mistake but it happens.

The argument isn’t terrible, but it pulls on the heartstrings.

Deku’s running late. By an hour. You’re all alone at the restaurant and for the first time, you’ve been stood up.

He’d been training with All Might and didn’t have his phone. So when he sees the texts, he’s instantly on his way to shower and get dressed.

But when he arrives, the waiter tells him that you’ve just left.

Determined to make it up to you, he tries to find you. You couldn’t have gone far.

Sure enough, you’re sitting on a bench in a nearby park, listening to the trickling water from a nearby fountain.

“(Y/n)!” Deku calls for you. You turn at your name and sigh when you see it’s Deku. 

“Let me guess. You were training?” You could smell the fresh shower gel on him. You stood up to meet him.

“I was, I got my times mixed up.”

“I waited for an hour. You didn’t think to check your phone before starting training?” You ask, obviously hurt at his failure to inform you of the changed schedule.

It was an honest accident, and it felt kind of wrong to be mad, but at the same time, it still hurt.

“It was an accident!” Deku threw his hands up to try and explain but you flinched out of instinct. It wasn’t an instinct that Deku was going to hit you, but the instinct of fists coming at you. Something you’d just picked up from sparring matches.

“I-(Y/n). I’m sorry. I should’ve double-checked. Can you forgive me?” Deku quickly brought his hands down, lowering them and wrapping them around your waist to bring you in for a hug. 

You wrapped your arms around him and snuggled into his touch.

“I’m sorry too. I overreacted.” You owed him an apology. And it was accepted, as well as Deku’s apology.

“We can reschedule the booking at the restaurant-”

“Takeout and cuddling sounds a lot better than that fancy place. Besides this top is itchy.” You smile, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Sounds good with me. More time to spend with you.” Deku places a kiss on your forehead before placing his hand in your own to lead you back to U.A.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[storiesforallfandoms]

way too hot ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1608

request?: yes!

“heyyy, I love your writing. do you think you could please do a mgk imagine based off of his and yungbluds new song acting like that? thanks <3″

“Heyyy. I love your writing and I was wondering if you could maybe do a Colson Baker x reader based off of the song he and yungblud did, acting like that? I would really appreciate it if you did. Love your account so much btw!!”

description: in which she comes back to her ex way too often, and he finally decides to confront her about it

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

based on this song

masterlist (one, two)

The sound of loud knocking woke Colson from his deep sleep. He checked the time on his phone to see that it was 4am. Normally, Colson’s insomnia would have him awake at this time anyways, but he had been attempting to fix his sleep schedule now that he had some time off, and he was succeeding for the most part.

The knock came again, causing Colson to groan and throw his warm blanket off himself to venture out into his cold house.

He wasn’t shocked to see his ex-girlfriend stood at his door, nearly stumbling into the house.

“Shit,” she breathed. “I-I didn’t mean...I told the cab driver the wrong house. I’m sorry, Colson, I - ”

Colson could smell the alcohol basically wafting off her, mixed with the sweet, familiar scent of her perfume. He sighed and stepped aside. “Come in.”

As he had numerous times before, he gave her a change of clothes and set up the couch for her to sleep on. He helped her to the couch and gave her water and an Aspirin to help with her inevitable hang over in the morning.

(Y/N) drifted off to sleep within seconds. Colson looked down at her, a million things running through his head to say to her. He decided it would be best to wait until the morning before saying anything, when he was less tired and she was less drunk.

After another moment of just gazing down at his once love, he finally made his way back up to his room.

~~~~~~

When he finally came down the next morning, (Y/N) was still sound asleep. Colson knew he should be annoyed, that he probably shouldn’t have even let her stay there that night. But he wasn’t annoyed, far from it. Part of him was almost happy to see her asleep in his house again.

Although, this wasn’t the first time she had stumbled her way to Colson’s place since they had broken up. Colson had lost count of how many times it had happened, and each time she would swear it was the last only to show up again about a week later.

Colson and (Y/N) had agreed to break up nearly six months ago when they found their relationship was starting to struggle due to Colson’s busy schedule. Colson had been trying to move on when she showed up on his doorstep first, so drunk she could barley speak and tears running down her face. Colson had brought her in and allowed her to stay the night, both of them sure it was going to be a one time thing.

He still loved her, he couldn’t deny that, but her constant drunk visits followed by her insistence that it was the last time felt like he was being stabbed in the heart repeatedly. He either wanted to make things work between them again, or to move on from the relationship.

Colson sighed and approached the couch. He gently touched (Y/N)’s leg, and when she didn’t stir he shook her a little. Her eyes slowly began to open, but she winced from the harsh sunlight beaming in from the living room window and groaned.

“Sorry,” Colson said. “Forgot they were open.”

“Colson?” (Y/N) mumbled, her hands covering her eyes as Colson moved to shut the blinds. “Shit, I did it again, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Colson confirmed. “Take the Aspirin I left you, it’ll help with the headache.”

(Y/N) moved slowly as she sat up and reached for the Aspirin. She moved too suddenly once and hissed in pain, which caused Colson to wince himself. He went to the kitchen as to not have to watch her agony much longer. He threw some leftovers into the microwave, enough for the two of them to share, and brought a plate of food to the kitchen for (Y/N).

“You don’t have to do that,” she told him, although she took the plate anyways. “I probably shouldn’t be here long, anyways.”

“You’re still nursing a hangover, no way I’m letting you go anywhere any time soon,” he decided.

Silence fell over the two of them as (Y/N) took a mouthful of her food. Colson snuck a quick glance at her when he was sure she wasn’t looking. Even just awake with a hangover, she looked like the most beautiful girl in the world.

He could feel his heart racing with delight at just having her there, and he realized he couldn’t let things go much further without addressing the elephant in the room.

“Why do you keep doing this, (Y/N)?”

She looked up at him, a fork full of food paused midair towards her lips. She placed it back down on her plate, averting her eyes from Colson. “I...I’m sorry. I’ll stop, it’s just - ”

“I don’t necessarily want you to stop,” Colson cut her off, although that wasn’t really the truth. “I just...I want to know why you keep getting drunk and coming here in the middle of the night. I wanna know why you do that and then you leave immediately and say you want to pretend like nothing ever happened, only to do it all again. I don’t mind helping you sometimes, but fuck (Y/N), you do make it hard to try and move on from our breakup.”

Tears were starting to form in (Y/N)’s eyes. She looked away from Colson in an effort to hide them, but he could see her lip quivering and could see the trail of water running down her cheek.

“Because...I have a hard time letting you go, too,” she responded, her voice soft.

“What?” Colson asked, although he had heard her.

“I have a hard time letting you go, Colson!” she repeated, much louder this time. “I understand that our relationship wasn’t great, but I wanted nothing more than to try and fight for it; for us. I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend who sat by and waited for her rockstar boyfriend to come home so she could shower him with the love and support he deserved, and I wanted to be cool with the constant partying even when you were home, or the guys always being over and never giving us alone time. I tried so hard to be that way. I...I had hoped you weren’t noticing the relationship going south, too. I hoped I could just fake things being okay until they were again.”

He ached to reach out and take hold of her hand. He hated to see her cry and wanted to hold her and comfort her, but he knew that was inappropriate to do in that moment. So, he just sat, watching the girl of his dreams cry over her love for him.

“Why didn’t you say that when we decided to break up?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I figured it was for the best. I felt that we weren’t how we used to be, you were unhappy. I thought we’d both be better off if we broke up.”

“I wasn’t unhappy.”

She looked up at him. “What? Yes you were, you said - ”

“I said I was unhappy that I couldn’t be with you how you deserved. I wasn’t unhappy with the relationship as a whole, I was unhappy with how I was holding up my end of the relationship.”

(Y/N) was shocked into silence. All these months she had believed that Colson was unhappy in their relationship. She had convinced herself that it was her own doing, that she hadn’t been good enough to keep up with his lifestyle. He had never told her he was unhappy with himself.

“You never told me that,” she pointed out.

“I guess neither one of us was really good with communication then.”

(Y/N) smiled a little at this. She had placed her food aside, no longer feeling able to eat. Colson reached for the plate and was about to make his way back to the kitchen when (Y/N) stopped him.

“Do you think there’s any way we could start again?”

Colson paused in the living room doorway before turning back to look at her. “You mean...from the beginning?”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Maybe...I don’t know. At least start from back before your career blew up and we were both trying to navigate these new waters we were unfamiliar with.”

The corner of Colson’s lips tugged up in a slight smile, his heart fluttering with excitement. “I definitely think we could try. As long as we both promise to be open with one another. No more of this thinking we know what’s best for the other. We lay everything out on the table and we talk through our problems.”

(Y/N)’s smile mirrored his own as she nodded. “Yeah, I like that plan.”

Colson nodded as well. He didn’t want to walk away now, he just wanted to go back and join (Y/N) on the couch. He wanted to smoother her in kisses and cuddle her until her hungover headache went away. He wanted to have his girl back in his arms again.

“I’m glad we decided this,” he finally said. “While I love how adorable you act when you’re drunk, you’re truly way too hot to be acting like that.”

(Y/N) raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh yeah? Acting like what?”

“Like a crazy drunk ex.”

He began to laugh and ducked out of the room just in time to miss a pillow (Y/N) threw at him in retaliation for his words.

[softdotnet]

C!Tommy headcanons because I miss doing these

-After his death, it's very easy for him to bruise/cut his face. He'll fall face first and BAM-injury. It's not uncommon for him to be walking around with a dirty bruise on his forehead or Band-Aids covering his face. (They're purple and green bandaids w/ stars on them from Ranboo and Tubbo. Big man shit.)

-He's a racoon and ferret hybrid. He's constantly hyper but the majority of his schedule is sleeping. He adores shiny things and hides shit on the regular. Once, he hid a ton of Techno's books under the mans own bed. Techno wasn't impressed at all. He also likes attempting to burrow into the ground (he's usually successful, you can sometimes find him happily sitting in a little hole in the ground near his home)

-Common hc that Tommy knows how to knit and makes things for his friends.

-He has a morning routine, curtesy of Puffy, and it consists of getting up almost as soon as he wakes up, and going out for a walk around the SMP, once he's back he eats a small breakfast and he's to set up a small goal for himself to accomplish. It's helped him a ton.

-He has his own chat that follows him around. They're little moths that cause problems and shit. The bigger moths, are donos and are the loudest of the bunch. Tommy has a love-hate relationship with them all.

-He and Ranboo have code words for incase one of them gets uncomfortable or feel unsafe. They became a thing during Exile and when Ranboo was visiting. Why would I tell you them? Code words are secret, dumbass :)

-He was born in a lab. He was a lab kid and was experimented on because of his hybrid traits. In his world, it's quite rare for someone to possess multiple hybrid traits. Ferret hybrids are quite rare as well. Tommy had escaped at age 10 and met Wilbur shortly after.

-Tubbo was also a lab kid and had escaped with Tommy when he was 11. His dad, Schlatt, had given him up to the lab thinking it would keep Tubbo safe. Tubbo, being a goat hybrid, wasn't put through much experiments, but he was kept alone for several long periods of time to see how it would affect the young lad.

-Tommy hates water with a burning passion, the only water he will willingly go into is Church Prime's holy water. The water makes him feel icky and reminds him of exile.

-Speaking of holy water, he's a religious guy. He goes to Church Prime regularly and prays everyday. Though, dying has made him start to doubt his faith and religion.

-Tommy has really long nails and takes really good care of them

-Tommy is missing one of his canines and the other one is really sharp. Two top and two bottom teeth are extremely sharp thanks to his Ferret and Racoon genes. Sharp teef, he has.

-Ranboo and Tubbo like to mess around with his ears. They're stood up and pointed but rounded out at the top and, in Ranboo and Tubbo's opinion, the cutest things in the fucking world.

-He has shoulder-length, maybe a bit longer, hair

-He'd listen to Amoeba by Clairo 100%

-Tubbo helps Tommy dye the white streak in his hair back to blonde. Tubbo knows how to do this shit because he dyes his hair blonde a lot. He used to have an ombre, then full blonde, and now only his bangs are blonde

-He likes strawberry shortcake and lemon cookies!

-He likes to paint his long nails but usually, Ranboo paints one set of nails and Tubbo paints the other. It's a cute sight to behold.

-He just wants everyone to get along and heal man thats all he wants

-"Tubbo! Ranboo! Look what I got for ya!"

[titan-fodder]

Prima Vista Part II

[ previous ] 

Rating: E (explicit; mdni) Pairing: Mike Zacharias x fem!reader wc: ~ 10.2k

Warnings: specific character attributes (not appearance, mentioned favorite color, movie, etc.), oral, rough sex, multiple orgasms, Erwin is kind of annoying, semi-exhibitionism, too much testosterone  A/N: And, here we go again. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first part and told me about it. This one’s for y’all~

Mike immediately notices when you start to avoid him. You had already been doing it, but now it's to the point of ducking into buildings you have no business being in and walking a little too briskly when you catch sight of him somewhere on campus. You also won't get anywhere near the Pi Kappa Alpha house.

 And, he gets it. He fucked up that night. Or, he didn't fuck up, but he opened up. Too much. Showed that he was willing to be vulnerable, and you obviously had not liked that. 

 The first week of watching you duck and cover from afar isn't so bad. He's a little bummed, yeah, but he figures you'll come around, if not for him then at least for his dick. 

 But, one week turns to two, and Mike gets irritated, a little angry even. Because it's not like he did anything wrong. It's not like you haven't wanted it every time. 

 He doesn't know your class schedule exactly, but he does know when you get out of your 11 AM and have to cross the courtyard to your dorm. It's where Mike caught you last time when he was playing frisbee with Nile, and it's where he catches you now. 

 Your speed walking is no match for his normal stride, and he easily closes the distance between you two and grabs your wrist to tug you toward a more private area by the library. 

 "What the fu—what are you doing?" You spit, pulling yourself free. 

 "What are you doing?"

 "Trying to get to my fucking room to nap! Is that okay?" 

 Mike ignores it, glances over his shoulder to make sure no one is watching, then asks, "Why are you avoiding me?" 

 Scoffing, you mumble an unconvincing, "I haven't been avoiding you."

 "Bullshit."

 "I've just been busy, okay? Midterms are coming up, and I'm falling behind…" He can tell you're lying by the way you can't meet his eyes. "I need to focus."

 "Am I that big of a distraction?" 

 You don't miss a beat—"Yes," and your eyes widen at your own answer like you're surprised by it. 

 Mike raises his eyebrows, taken off guard, and you try to cover your tracks. "I mean, like, I don't have time to be fucking frat boys. And, I know you have the pick of the litter, so it's not like you'll go without." 

 He has to bite his tongue, a confession right on the tip of it—I pick you—but knows that's the last thing you want to hear. It's too early for thoughts like that anyway. You're too closed off, and he's too transparent. It's not like anything serious could work out anyway, and even if it could, he shouldn't tie himself down. 

 "I mean, yeah, but—"

 You hold a hand up, take a deep breath. "Look, I'll be honest with you. You seem like an okay guy, but you should find some other girl to do this with. I don't wanna be another notch on your bedpost—"

 "Then, don't be. We can just hang out."

 "Yeah, we tried that at the party and still ended up sleeping together."

 "We can make it a rule then." He's trying too hard, he knows, but he can't help it. "No fucking. I won't come onto you, and you won't come onto me."

 You snort and pick at the hem of your shirt, obviously not buying any of this. "Why do you wanna be friends so bad anyway? Is it the hard-to-get thing? Is it that I'm making it difficult?"

 "Maybe but not entirely."

 Why does he want to be your friend so badly? You haven't given him any real reason to. You can bond over nerd shit here and there, but other than that, you don't have a lot in common. 

 You just seem… Cool. Aloof. Like you don't give a shit about anyone or anything, and Mike never thought he'd find that attractive in a girl, but apparently he does. 

 "Just come over one more time. We can watch something again or—"

 "I'm not going into your room again!"

 "You don't have to," Mike says, speaking with his hands to emphasize his point. "We can stay in the living room. Totally public. Any of the guys could walk in."

 "Has that ever stopped any of you before?"

 Not a hundred percent of the time. Mike has definitely seen more of Erwin and Gelgar than he'd like, but he can tell a little white lie.

 "Yes." 

 You stare up at him, a skeptical look on your face, and then, "I'll see if I can pencil you in." 

 "Fuck yeah, I promise I'll show you a good time without, like, showing you a good time." 

 "Yeah, whatever." 

 You're unimpressed, turn to walk away, but Mike is feeling a little too triumphant, a little too bold, and catches you before you can get too far. 

 He premises, "Just to get it out of my system," then bends down and kisses you. Palms covering your cheeks, fingers curling around the back of your head kisses you. He uses both of his thumbs, just under your mouth, to part your lips so that he can slide his tongue past them, and you push at his chest half-heartedly, no real force to it as you let him lick into your mouth. 

 The first whimper that escapes you is what makes you break away, your hands stronger against him to shove him back, and Mike smirks when you glare at him. 

 "You're on thin fucking ice, Zacharias. Thin ice."

 "I'll keep it in mind."

 With that, you leave the little alcove the two of you were in, grumbling and cursing the whole way. Mike just watches the sway of your hips and licks his lips. 

 *

 You come over on a Saturday afternoon. Mike can tell you've tried to make yourself look not cute in loose, ripped jeans and a t-shirt, but it doesn't work. Mike still smiles, and you still roll your eyes at him before kicking your shoes off by the door. 

 "Okay, so what are we doing?" You ask, sitting two cushions away from him on the couch. 

 "I brought my Switch in here, so we have that…"

 "Oh, do you have the SNES games downloaded?" 

 "Dumb question. Of course I do."

 "Rude. Open that shit up."

 He does, and you demand to play Donkey Kong, which Mike has no problem with, but, "A please would be nice."

 You click your tongue, holding your hand out for the second tiny controller and tell him, "You don't get to hear me beg anymore."

 Mike feels his shorts tighten, but all he does is kick a foot over his thigh and warn you, "Best not test my self-control like that."

 "Is that a threat?" You laugh, toggling down to 'Two Player' on the screen and clicking it. 

 "Not a threat." He bobs his head to the theme music. "Just lettin’ you know."

 You get as far as Mine Cart Carnage together, but Mike ends up getting tossed from the cart, leaving you to take over as Diddy. He watches the way you move with your character, sitting up straighter, raising the controller to your chest, swaying one way then the next as if your body is tied directly to the game. 

 Erwin walks in a little while later when you're focused on Stop & Go Station. He sits down in a plush chair, phone in his hand that he ignores in favor of asking, "What are you guys doing out here? Shouldn't you be in Mike's room?"

 Mike glances at him, gives him a look and shakes his head, but you're much less subtle when you snap, "Can it, Smith," eyes never leaving the screen. 

 "Don't count on that," Mike snorts. "I think it’s physically impossible for him to keep his mouth shut for longer than four seconds." 

 "Wooow," Erwin drawls, thick eyebrows high in offense. "I'm supposed to be able to trust you, and now you're just talking shit right in front of me."

 "For some reason, I get the feeling your ego can't get bruised that easily," you muse out loud. 

 "I'll have you know I can be very sensitive," Erwin informs you matter-of-factly. "I have a heart. I have feelings. And, I've been told on multiple occasions that I'm more considerate than most men, so there."

 You laugh, a silly sound that gets stuck in your throat. "Oh, really? And how many of those women—'cause that's what they are, I'm sure—were left behind after they built you up like that, hm?"

 Biting both of his lips, Erwin sits back in his chair and crosses his arms. "I plead the fifth on that one."

 "Uh huh, that's what I thought."

 While you're fixated on the screen, Mike glances over at his friend, sees blue eyes shining as Erwin stares at you, a tell-tale smirk on his face. He's amused by you. Interested, even. 

 You stay for about an hour longer before going back to the dorms. As soon as the front door shuts, Mike swivels around and points a finger at Erwin, uttering a low, "Don't you dare," that makes the blond chuckle. 

 "Wouldn't dream of it."

 *

 You mostly hang out on weekends and only in small bursts. Alternating between movies and video games, it's a little hard to speak to one another, but Mike is still able to pry some information out of you and share more about himself. 

 You're majoring in geological and earth sciences while Mike is working toward a degree in environmental science— "Kinda weird we haven't run into each other before." 

 You played basketball for a year in high school before getting annoyed by the other girls. Mike, on the other hand, made some of his best friends on his old soccer team. 

 You had a ferret growing up and now you'll "Never get another pet again 'cause when he died, I died a little with him." (It's the first time Mike has ever seen tears in your eyes, but you blink them away at record speed). He tells you about the dogs his family has had and how the one at home with his parents now is actually his. (Her name's Scout, and I would take a bullet for her.") 

 Hitch is your best friend even though she irritates the shit out of you, and Mike says something similar about Erwin. "He's a good guy. He's just… Passionate about so many things. He gets obsessive. Drives me insane."

 "Obsessed with that pussyyy," you joke in a deep, stupid voice. 

 Mike snorts, "Perv," and keeps watching the movie that's playing. 

 And, speaking of movies, your favorite Disney film is The Fox and The Hound— "Good taste," while his is Lion King— "Classic." As far as other movies, though, the two of you spend half an hour arguing over which Mel Brooks is the best, end up having to agree to disagree (Young Frankenstein vs. High Anxiety).

 Your favorite color is green. Your favorite food is pizza (“What are you, twelve?”). Your favorite animal is the pangolin. They’re all little facts that Mike stores away, and by the end of the semester, he actually feels like he kind of knows you, and somehow, against all odds, you've managed to not hookup through it all. 

 That's not to say it hasn't been hard (that he hasn't been hard). Sometimes you come over in skin tight jeans or crop tops, outfits that accentuate your body in all the right ways, and Mike is pretty sure that you do it on purpose. 

 You're both careful not to drink too much at parties, aware of the likely consequences, but you hang around him enough to gain people's attention—jealous girls watching in disappointment, curious guys sizing you up. 

 Questions inevitably arise. You complain about Hitch pestering you for details that you will not give her, and he tells you how he has to keep brushing off his brothers. 

 "She doesn't, like, know we've had sex—would never fucking leave me alone if she did. But she and all her other little friends are so annoying about it."

 You're on the steps outside of the frat house, jackets zipped up, nursing steaming cups of cocoa you got from the nearby shop. 

 "So, what do you tell them?" Mike asks. 

 You shrug your shoulders. "That we're not fucking. Just friends. They don't believe me, but that's my story, and I'm sticking to it, dammit."

 Mike laughs through his nose and takes another drink. "I mean, it's not a lie since we're not fucking and we are friends."

 You make a high pitched noise, doubtful, challenging. "Friends is a strong word."

 "Whatever." 

 He's used to you doing that now, denying him every chance you get even in a joking way. You've never once admitted to any type of feelings out loud, and he isn't sure why, some kind of avoidance behavior, but he won't complain because he knows you're at least a little fond of him. You wouldn't keep spending time with him if you weren't. 

 Deciding to change the subject, Mike prompts, "So, Erwin's party over the break," and you glance at him over your cup with interest. "You're coming, right?" 

 "I don't know. Isn't it at, like, his ranch house in bum fuck nowhere?" 

 "Kinda. It's only about a two hour drive from here, but it's definitely off the beaten path."

 "I'll have to see. Need to spend time with my mom while I can." 

 Understandable. He's looking forward to seeing his own parents (and Scout, of course). 

 The last game of the season is played and won, then finals pass after too many all-nighters and too much Red Bull. Mike actually sighs in relief when he slides into his white Wrangler, all packed up and ready to make the drive back to his house. 

 He sends one text before pulling out onto the main road—Be safe—and hopes he won't have to wait an entire month to see you again. 

*

 Staying with your mom is nice but always slightly depressing. The house is empty with just her in it, less lived in than ever before. You can tell exactly which spots she spends most of her time in—her office to work and the couch in front of the TV to wind down. 

 You sleep in your old bedroom, spend most evenings texting Hitch after your mom goes to bed, but a few conversations with Mike slip in too. He sends you several pictures of Scout—beautiful but always wearing one of those perpetual Boxer frowns—and in return, you send him pictures of the pretty betta your mother has in her office. It's the best you can do. 

 After a week of being in your hometown, you're ready to leave it again. It's not terrible or in a bad part of town. It's just… lacking. You'd never tell your mother this, but you have a feeling she knows. It's probably why she doesn't put up a fight when you tell her you're gonna run off for a couple days to attend Erwin's party. 

 "I promise I'll be back. It's just one night and then the drive back."

 Her tone is very serious when she tells you to stay out of trouble, but then she walks you out to your car and hugs you, watching and waving as you drive away. 

 You text Erwin on the way there to ask if it's okay to arrive early—like a few hours early cause I needed to get out of my house—and he replies enthusiastically.

 Absolutely! Mike and Levi are already here 😃

 You have no idea who this Levi is outside of hearing Erwin mention him a few times, but you very quickly find out when you get to the large but secluded house. You see Erwin's stupid (gorgeous) vintage Mustang parked in the gravel driveway as well as Mike's white Jeep and an unfamiliar, black Prius. 

 All three of them are on the porch occupying outdoor chairs that probably cost more than your fucking dorm expenses, but Mike and Erwin both stand when you make your way up the sidewalk. Staying seated, or really sprawled out with his hands behind his head, is a fairly small man (boy, maybe) with inky hair and sunglasses covering his eyes. He’s dressed much differently than the other two, ripped jeans, Doc Martens, and a striped long sleeved shirt under a short sleeved band tee. 

 “What in the e-boy fuck…” You mutter to yourself, nodding at the blonds and letting Mike take your backpack—not that you really have a choice considering your grip on it is no match for his. 

 “Was the drive okay?” He asks, swinging the bag over his shoulder and making it look incredibly small. 

 “Yeah. Once I hit the backroads I could start going, like, eighty-five, so that shaved some time off.”

 Mike snorts. “You sound like Erwin. Dude’s always speeding.”

 “Don’t fucking start with me. I was in the car with you when you almost hit a pedestrian on a crosswalk.”

 “We don’t talk about that.”

 Everyone follows Erwin inside the house. It’s just as nice as you thought it’d be, sprawling and open with wood floors, plush furniture, and rustic decorations. There are moose antlers mounted in one room and a god damned bear head in another. It makes you roll your eyes, but to say you’re unimpressed would be a flat out lie. 

 “Not everyone is staying the night, but I know you have to, so just pick an upstairs room,” Erwin tells you after the grand tour. “I can take you around on the golf cart once you settle in.”

 You see Mike roll his green eyes and amend, “We can take you around.” 

 “Yeah,” Erwin nods. “That’s what I meant.”

 Levi is making a face up at Erwin, furrowed brow, squinty eyes, and a little grimace. He hasn’t said more than two words to you since you’ve arrived (“I’m Levi.”), but he doesn’t seem like the chatterbox type, a little more standoffish, and you can’t blame him for that. 

 “Just in case you’re wondering, I’m in the middle room,” Mike tells you with a grin.

 “And why, pray tell, would I be wondering that?”

 He basically sings in his deep voice, “No reason,” then walks back downstairs with Erwin and Levi, leaving you to make yourself comfortable. 

 You take the bedroom at the far end of the hallway out of spite more than anything, but you figure the farther away you can be from Mike the better. After setting your things down and organizing deodorant, perfume, and every day jewelry on the dresser, you join the guys downstairs to find them huddling over the kitchen island talking about plans for the night. 

 “Should we get a keg? It won’t be that many people, but it might be easier to just pour from one,” Erwin thinks out loud. 

 “Don’t bother getting a keg if it’s gonna be the same shitty beer you guys have at Pike parties,” you chime in, hip checking Mike so that he’ll scoot over and allow you join their little meeting. 

 Levi lets out a little laugh, the most expressive you’ve seen him so far, while the other two pout at your criticism. 

 “Why don’t you pick the beer then?” Erwin prompts. “Since you have such refined tastes.” 

 Eyebrows lifting, you laugh. “Oh, we’ve got a smartass in the house tonight.” The blond smirks and dusts off his shoulders, making Mike groan in either annoyance or embarrassment. You can’t be sure which one. 

 “Fuck, is this what it’s always like between you three?” Levi asks, looking between all of you. “Just constant bickering?”

 “More or less.”

 “That seems exhausting.”

 “It is,” you confirm. “‘S’why I can only hang out with them in small doses.”

 “Ouch.”

 “Wounded.”

 “Anyway,” you let your head hang so that all they can see is your shoulders shaking as you giggle, and when you look back up, you make sure that the smile is mostly wiped from your face. “I’m not saying I’m some kind of beer expert, but I at least know that the shit you serve at parties is rancid.”

 “And yet, you always seem to forget,” Mike teases. “I always end up having to finish yours.”

 “You don’t have to. You choose to, you fucking alkie.”

 It’s hard to come to any sort of decision with the non-stop push and pull of the conversation, and eventually Levi just walks away to let the three of you work it out. Erwin orders a keg of Rolling Rock, says something about, “Dad won’t mind me splurging a little since I downsized this whole thing for him,” and you scoff at him. 

 He’s well aware of his privilege, talks about it in an ironic manner that’s both maddening and hilarious— “Father is going to let me take the yacht out this weekend,” and, “Oh, that’s not country club appropriate.” It makes you laugh every fucking time, but it also usually earns him a smack or two. 

 The next few hours are spent gathering party supplies and getting the house ready (as in moving some furniture around and hiding valuables). Erwin leaves to pick up the keg after assuring the vendor on the phone that he can drive to them and pay extra for the short notice. You don’t know how he manages it, but you assume his confidence has a lot to do with it.

 Only about twenty people are supposed to come, “An Erwin Smith exclusive,” Mike jokes with you as you stash a couple of vases in the kitchen cabinets. 

 “Oh, does that mean I’m special?” You play.

 “Absolutely.”

 There’s something churning in your gut as you move around downstairs with Mike and Levi, an omniscient feeling, like you know how the night will end, but you’re going to fight it every step of the way. You’ve made it this long without a slip-up, and you’re determined to make it one more night. 

 Erwin gets back with about three hours to spare. He and Mike disappear to change into what you assume to be their usual douche-y attire, and you and Levi sit alone in the large living room waiting quietly. 

 You’re surprised when he speaks first, stating, “You don’t seem the sorority type.”

 Turning, you try to make sense of it, respond, “Well, I’m not.” You’re almost offended that he’d even consider you were.

 “Then what are you doing hanging around with those frat boy fucks?”

 “Oh, that.” You sigh. “Uhh, my friend made me go to one of their parties, and I just… Made an impression, I guess.”

 “You fucked one of ‘em, didn’t you?” Levi is smirking, so sure of himself that you don’t really see the point in denying it.

 “Yeah.”

 “Rich boy or the giant?”

 You look over at him, defenses rising like they did your first night in the Pi Kappa Alpha house. “The fuck is it to you?”

 Holding his hands up, Levi chuckles, “Alright, alright, forget I asked.”

 You cross your arms over your chest, stare off as you wonder if it’s actually that hard to tell. You figured it would be obvious that you’re more comfortable with Mike than with Erwin, but you have been getting more used to the other brazen blond over the last few months, just like you’ve been getting a little more used to Nile and all the other brothers. You haven’t sucked any of their dicks, though. 

 “How’d you meet Erwin?” You try.

 You’re not surprised when Levi snarks, “The fuck is it to you?” 

 You can’t tell if the two of you are going to leave this ranch house as mortal enemies or as friends, but it’ll definitely be one of them. 

 “‘Cause you don’t seem the type to hang out with them either,” you tell him.

 It's definitely odd. He and Erwin have to go back some time to have been able to stick together through their college years and all of their superficial differences. 

 Levi admires the black polish on his nails then informs you in a bored tone, “We’ve been friends since we were kids, but it’s no big deal. Just can’t get rid of him.”

 The corner of his mouth turns upward, so he can’t be too heartbroken over it. You understand that, haven’t quite been able to shake your puppy-dog of a friend since the beginning of the semester, but you’re not as annoyed about it as you pretend to be. 

 “They certainly do get attached,” you hum.

 The two men in question join you once again, looking much more palatable in jeans and v-necks. Erwin has a button-down hanging open and rolled up to his elbows while Mike is wearing a black and white flannel in similar fashion. It’s the most casual they’ve been at a party, and you can’t help but joke, “Wow, look at you two. More human, less lizard people for once.”

 Erwin rolls his eyes while Mike mumbles a Doctor Who reference that makes you suck on the inside of your cheek to keep from grinning. 

 He’s got his charm turned on tonight, the kind that appeals to you, which will definitely pose a problem.

 People start arriving at around eight, some you recognize from the college, some you don’t who you assume to be some of Erwin’s older friends. Gelgar taps the keg within minutes of walking in then plays the role of bartender for the next ten minutes as everyone lines up for a drink. There’s liquor and mixers set up on the counter, and you consider just making your usual, but you figure you should have at least a little of the beer since you’re the one who fought for the more expensive brand. 

 When you get your cup, foam nearly overflowing past the rim, you take one sip only to cough it back up when Mike shows off his usual party trick—appearing out of thin air—and asks, “You gonna finish it this time?”

 You splutter as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand then glare up at him. “I’m gonna try, but it’s gonna be pretty fuckin’ difficult if you keep making me spit up like a god damn baby.”

 He’s amused, light eyes dancing mischievously, and you know you’re in for a long night. 

 Erwin has a playlist filtering through the house’s sound system, a nice balance of several different genres playing at a bearable volume for the first time. Games start up in the kitchen, rage cage around the island, beer pong at the table, and while you’re content to just wallflower in the corner, Mike drags you into it. 

 “You’re just as bad as Hitch," you complain, but he isn't fazed, just plants you in an open spot at the island and stands right beside you. He's gonna regret doing that; rage cage is one of the only competitive games you're actually good at, but he'll find that out. 

 It's fast-paced, full of screaming and laughing, jumping and shoving. You get to slam your cup into Mike's on several occasions, drawing curses from him every time. 

 "Honestly, it's a little embarrassing," you ridicule with a smile. 

 He downs the small amount of beer in the cup he pulls, adds it to the stack, then challenges, "I'll show you embarrassing. Just wait." 

 You've had maybe two beers altogether, but it still sends a jolt down your spine. 

 The two of you play another couple of rounds, and Mike does seem to catch on a little more, but he eventually bows out and pulls you away with him. 

 More beer. Meandering around the party. It's pretty tame in comparison to all the Pike events you've attended, but the later it gets, the rowdier everyone becomes. Music gets turned up to dance. The keg stops being used for pouring and starts being used for stands. You have the absolute pleasure of watching Erwin hold Levi upside down as the smaller man chugs as much as he can. He beats Nile's record, raises his arms in victory as Erwin shakes him by the shoulders in excitement. 

 "They're pretty close, yeah?" 

 Mike looks down at you as you stand on your tip-toes to get closer to his ear as you speak. 

 He nods. "I don't really understand them, but yeah. They've been friends since, like, elementary school, I think."

 "No shit?"

 "No shit."

 You play beer pong against Gelgar and Nile, end up losing by quite a lot, and by the time you finish the remaining cups and another full drink, you're feeling good. Warm, happy, dangerously giggly. 

 Mike stands too close as you make your rounds to talk to people, many of them asking how the lacrosse season went. He puffs his chest a little, tries and fails to act modest, but instead of getting irritated like you usually do, you find yourself resting your cheek against his arm as you shake your head. You don't know if the action is to disagree with him or to get closer, but it makes Mike chuckle and shift so that he can wrap that arm around you and pull you to his chest instead. 

 He smells nice—woodsy with a sweet little bite. It makes your mouth water. You try to call back your determination from before, that readiness to fight and deny, but Mike's body is firm and massive and hot against yours, and he's also drunk and smiling sideways. His eyes are hazy and gorgeous when he peers down at you. His stubble has grown into that perfect length, the kind that feels incredible between your legs, and you can already see your hands tugging at his shaggy hair as he flips it from his face. 

 "You okay?" He rumbles, tongue darting out to lick his lips. 

 He knows. You know he knows. And, he knows that you know that— 

 Fuck. Stop. Just…

 "What do you think?" You're aware of what you're saying. The words make perfect sense. You just can't stop them from falling from your mouth is all. 

 "I don't know," Mike says, a playful lilt to his voice. "Why don't you tell me?" 

 You're not sure if he's asking for your consent or if he just wants to humiliate you by making you spell it out for him. 

 "I mean…" Your gaze travels from his face to his neck to his pecs and downward. "The semester is over."

 "It is," he agrees, hand moving from your waist to your hip. 

 "Don't really need to be, uh… What's the word…" You squeeze your eyes shut, splaying your fingers on his stomach. "Studious," you snap. "Don't need to be so studious on vacation."

 Mike very slowly starts walking backwards toward the staircase, holding you at arms length by both your hips now. 

 "No, you really don't." 

 Voice of reason fading away, you step around him but grab his hand, taking the stairs two by two until you're on the balcony that wraps above the living room. Once you slip into the closer room, yours, you lock the door. 

 Mike's mouth is familiar in its desperation—tastes like beer and want and him. He pulls his flannel off behind him by the sleeves just in time for you to start pushing his shirt up over his abs, in awe all over again at the muscle group. 

 It's really not fair. 

 You pause between kisses to strip, smiling and groaning whenever your lips meet again. You've missed it on some level—the heat, the fucking attraction you just can't shake. All the times you hung out with him, purposely keeping distance, avoiding flirting and touching and staring—you figured it would come to a head. You even guessed there was a good chance that it would be at this party. 

 But, that doesn't mean you're prepared when he throws you onto the bed, doesn't prepare you for the way he bites your lip and sucks on your neck and pinches your nipples until you moan his name and grind against him, and it certainly doesn't prepare you for the way he spreads your legs, runs his nose up the inside of your thigh, then drags his tongue over your slit. 

 "Fuck, Mike." 

 He groans, quick to slide the muscle into your pulsing cunt to taste you. His fingertips are digging into the fat of your thighs, keeping you still save for your trembling which makes the feeling of his mouth even more intense. You want to buck against his face, want to put out the fire raging inside of you by moving somehow, letting some of the energy out, but you can't. All you can do is lay there as Mike licks around your hole and nibbles at your clit and laps up your juices. 

 "Missed this fuckin' pussy," he breathes, sucking on one of your lips and then the other, pulling blood to the surface and making them puffy and sensitive. 

 You card fingers through his hair before fisting your hand in it and shoving his face further into your cunt, trying as hard as you fucking can to ride any part of him you can manage—his tongue, his nose, anything that will give you friction. 

 The sound he makes at your pathetic attempt is bestial, a low, throaty grunt as he rubs his chin up and down your slit, drenching himself in your slick and quickly overstimulating your swollen clit with his stubble. 

 "Oh fuck, oh fuck—"

 "You wanted it," he grits. "You pushed your sloppy little cunt right in my face, so now you've gotta take everything I give you." 

 You cry as he continues the motion, pussy drooling as the little bud starts to grow raw. "Mike, please, please…"

 "Gonna make sure you feel this tomorrow." He stops only to lean back down and suck your clit into his mouth. The tip of his tongue is soft in comparison to the coarse hair, but it still makes your hips twitch, and when he grazes his teeth over it, you squeal and kick. 

 It's so close to hurting, right on the edge, but it's that helplessness that has you steadily leaking on the bed. It's what makes it easy for Mike to push a finger into your clenching hole, pump a couple times, then slide another one in beside it. 

 Your climax is coiling in your gut, compressed like a spring and only getting tighter with every thrust of long, thick fingers and every measured flick of his tongue. 

 Gripping his hair again, you ride it out. Mike loosens his grip just enough to allow you to undulate in time with the waves that wash over you, and you moan loudly as he moves to flatten his tongue over your entrance so that you come on and against it. 

 He gives you some time to settle down, but you know he isn't done yet, and since you're not quite ready to take his cock in your sensitive pussy, you pull your legs from the sides of his head and crawl to lay with your head off the side of the bed. 

 Mike gets the picture immediately, and you hear a huff of air leave him all at once before he clambers off the mattress to position himself at the edge. You're a little too low, so he grabs all four pillows to shove under you, and as he does, you lavish his bobbing cock with kitten licks, going as far as sucking on his balls when he leans over you. 

 "Jesus fucking—" 

 You can feel the way they tighten, his cockhead dripping pre that lands just below the notch of your sternum. It isn't until he's thoroughly coated in spit that you stop and let him straighten, then open your mouth and relax your shoulders. 

 Mike is careful as he slides his tip past your lips, letting you adjust to the weight of his cock in your mouth before he pushes in a little further. Your eyes start watering as soon as he passes between your molars, making you stretch your jaw and drool from the corners of your mouth. 

 He pulls out then, taps his cockhead on your cheek, leaving a mix of precum and spit on your skin before lining himself up again and sliding back in. 

 He repeats the process a few times as if it'll actually get you used to his size, but it's just not possible. You gag and gurgle, slurp back drool when you're given the chance, and your entire body throbs when Mike tells you, "I'm gonna give you more now, okay? Wanna see your throat bulge with my cock."

 You moan around him, try to make the passage of your mouth and esophagus as straight as possible then let your eyes roll back as he slips into the tighter sleeve for a few seconds. Your toes dig into the bedspread, fingers clawing at the material as you fight back the panic that comes with not being able to breathe. 

 Mike pulls out panting, and you wish you could see his face, the look in his eyes, but you can't. All you can do is lap at his cock until he pushes it into your mouth again. 

 This time when he slips into your throat, he reaches down to press a hand to your neck, letting out a deep, disbelieving laugh as he feels the way his length moves in it. "Holy shit. I could—" he just barely gives you more, and your responding whine is completely muffled by him, "—Could come like this."

 The thought makes you tingle. Or maybe that's the lack of oxygen. You are feeling a little lightheaded. But the idea of him coming down your throat, right into your stomach, fuck, it makes your cunt pulse again. 

 Mike pulls out, and you suck in deep breaths, a little sob making your chest heave. Tears are streaming from your eyes, getting caught in your hair, and you have to wipe other various fluids from your face. 

 He helps you sit back up, rubs your shoulders and kisses the back of your neck as your heart rate returns to normal. As soon as he sees you relax, though, he's tugging you from the bed and bending you over it. 

 The scream that's pushed from you is hoarse as you're split open on his cock. Mike holds you by the hair, pulling your head back as he snaps his hips forward and back relentlessly. He slides in and out of you easily, but that doesn't mean he isn't stretching you to your breaking point. 

 You shake on the bed, thankful when he lets go of your head so that you can fall back to the mattress, crying and moaning all you want. 

 "Feel so good, baby," Mike groans. "So good."

 He punctuates it with a slap to your ass that causes you to squeeze him, and that only encourages him to repeat the action until both your cheeks are radiating heat and stinging from his hands. 

 He flips you like a doll, and you're finally able to see his face clearly as he stares down at you with a dropped jaw and heavy lids. You know you're a mess, fucked out and sloppy, but as he abuses your g-spot with the ridge of his cock, all you can do is grin drunkenly and let your eyes roll. 

 "So pretty when you smile," he praises. Fingers grip your chin, and when you're able to focus your gaze again you find Mike leaning over you, face level with yours. "Open your mouth for me." His tone is soft yet demanding, and you don't hesitate for a second as you do what you're told. 

 Mike pushes spit through his lips, letting it drip and stretch until it lands on your tongue. It makes you feel cheap and disgusting, but it doesn't stop you from squirting around him. 

 Devolving into nothing more than grunts and groans, Mike continues to fuck into you but straightens so that he can reach your clit better. He flicks it back and forth until your true orgasm hits you, and then he keeps going. 

 You cry out, squirm wildly beneath him, but all it results in is two fingers being shoved in your mouth. Stroking over the back of your tongue, more saliva pours from your mouth just like the slick that pours from your pussy while he toys with your clit. 

 You come again. And again. When Mike finally removes his hand from between your legs, you're nothing more than a puddle, moaning and crying for him. 

 Every orgasm has made your walls swell around him, his cock feeling longer and thicker than ever as he kisses your cervix with every thrust. That lightheaded sensation is back, white dots dancing around your eyes, and you just barely manage out his name, tapping in his forearm. 

 "Need… need…"

 "What do you need, babe?"

 Your arms curl up by your head, fingers moving and spasming as every one of your senses is overwhelmed.

  "Need you to—t-to—to come. Need you to c-come." 

 You've never had to tap out before, but you can't take him anymore. His size. His expression. His lack of fucking mercy.

 "Yeah?" He coos, but his cock is still dragging in and out of you. You nod, but Mike draws it out, asking, "Where do you want me to come?"

 "Don't… Care…"

 "You don't care?" He's still moving, fucking you absolutely stupid as he lists out, "Your face? Your tits?" He gropes your chest, pinching both nipples, and the fact that you don't even whimper must clue him into the fact that he's about to lose you. 

 Your mind is swimming, fading every time he pulls out only to be brought back online when he pushes back in. 

 "What about your pussy? Want me to come all over your pussy?" 

 You moan, the simplest part of your brain apparently finding that appealing, so after a few more thrusts, Mike pulls out entirely and jerks himself off until he covers your folds in hot cum. He gets some on your thighs, some on your pelvis, soaks your peaking clit so that you take in a stuttering breath. 

 His hand is between your legs again, fingertips spreading the viscous fluid around and dipping into your slit.

 Your eyes shoot open for the first time in God knows how long, a panicked, "M-Mike," tumbling from your lips, but he hushes you.

 "I'm not pushing it inside or anything. Just having fun."

 And, fuck, tonight is the night you learn how filthy he is. Mike spends a few solid minutes rubbing his seed over your puffy lips, fingers the raw tissue around your hole so that you leak for him, then uses it to massage your clit slowly and softly, pulling one last orgasm from you that makes fresh tears spring in your eyes. 

 You're going to be in a world of pain tomorrow, but you can't regret it—not when your legs continue to shake long after your climax, not when you can already feel that satisfying ache deep inside of you, not when Mike crawls to sit on the bed and lifts you into his arms. 

 "You okay?" He asks into your hair. 

 He's rubbing soothing circles on your stomach as you drift in and out. You know you need to shower, but you're so tired and so wrecked, you doubt you'll be able to stand for long enough to clean yourself. 

 "Did I hurt you?" 

 "Mm, little bit," you tell him honestly. You can actually feel his heart start to beat harder in his chest, so you reassure him, "Liked it, though."

 You think something like twenty minutes pass, but you can't be sure as you keep dozing. It's hard not to with Mike rubbing your stomach, his body rising and falling in rhythm with every breath he takes. 

 When your eyes open more than halfway, you begin to move, grimacing at the soreness between your legs as well as the mess. 

 "'m gonna hop in the shower," you announce. 

 Mike sits up too, stretches his arms and asks through a groan, "Want me to come with?"

 "You've done enough coming tonight," you snort. "But nah, I can clean myself on my own."

 His eyebrows furrow, but he doesn't say anything, just lets you get up and walk to the bathroom on shaky legs. 

 The hot water almost puts you back to sleep. You manage to rinse off where you need to, step back into the room fully expecting to see Mike passed out in your bed, but he's nowhere to be found. 

 As you crawl under the covers, you try to swallow the feeling of disappointment that's stuck in your throat. 

 *

Mike is up before almost everyone in the house the next morning, so he spends most of it trying to clean up alongside Levi, though he apparently isn't doing a very good job of it according to the smaller man. 

 "Jesus, have you ever mopped a floor in your life?" 

 "Oh, so we're just throwing everything in the same trash bag? No recycling? Your future kids will thank you for that, I'm sure."

 "No, there's no way I’m letting you wipe down the counters. Just move." 

 Levi is lucky Mike is as laid back as he is otherwise he would have thrown the little fuck into the koi pond behind the house a long time ago. 

 Erwin wakes up around nine and walks down looking a little rough, but Mike has definitely seen him in worse states. 

 "Thanks for cleaning up," he says, bent over the island and holding his head in his hands. "Pretty sure I would have thrown up if I'd tried. Several times."

 He tells the other two that pretty much everyone else started heading out at around three and that he has a list of party-goers he needs to text to make sure they made it home in one piece, "When I can actually fucking see straight."

 Naturally, the conversation turns to Mike. Erwin, with his cheek now pressed against the cool, granite countertop, smirks up at him and asks in a sly voice, "So, how was your night?' 

 Mike bites his lip to hide a smile, leans out of the kitchen to make sure you aren't stumbling down the stairs or traipsing about the house, then looks back to his friend and laughs, "Fucking mind-blowing, dude." He doesn't go into explicit detail—that's never been his style—but he does whisper about you taking him better than any other girl and that he's, "Addicted, dude. I genuinely think I am addicted to her pussy." 

 "Don't be fucking dramatic, Zacharias," you pop out behind him, slapping his back as you pass him to get to the fridge. He can see the ghost of a smile turning your lips up, but it's hard to feel satisfied at that when his own face is beet red. 

 Looking at Erwin, Mike throws his hands out by his side, mutters an incredulous, "Dude," that makes the other blond chuckle. 

 You grab a water bottle from the refrigerator, making Levi grumble, "Are none of you guys concerned about the planet? God damn."

 Standing between Mike and Erwin, you take a few gulps, all eyes on you until you swallow and question, "Can I help you?" Now that you're right next to him, Mike can hear a scratchiness to your voice, almost as if you're getting sick, but he knows better, knows exactly where it came from, and fuck if it doesn't make him twitch in his sweats. 

 "Have a good time at the party?" Erwin pries once again. 

 You look at him with a deadpan expression, then answer, "Seems like you already got the deets, so sure. I had a grand time."

 Mike isn't sure if you're being sarcastic about it just like you are everything else. You had just kind of left him hanging when you'd gone to shower. He hadn't thought too much into it even if he'd been a little bummed, but he thinks he understands. You just need more space than he does. 

 Or, it could have been that you hadn't enjoyed yourself. Oh god, what if you'd just been faking? What if you'd lied to him when he asked if he hurt you? What if you're in pain right now and just hiding it? 

 Mike zones out while you talk with Erwin and Levi about plans for the day, works himself into a nice little panic but is still able to hear you tell them you're just gonna head back to your mom's. 

 "You sure?" Erwin asks. "I know you only planned to stay one night, but you're more than welcome to hang out for longer. We’ll be here for at least another few days."

 Levi adds an, "Unfortunately," that earns him a hair ruffle he swats away. 

 "No, it's cool. I can't leave mom alone for the holiday or she'll start to think I don't like staying at the house."

 "You don't, though."

 "Yeah, but she doesn't have to know that."

 Mike stares after you as you take your water bottle and return upstairs, and it doesn't escape the notice of the other two men. 

 "You're so fuckin' whipped, man," Erwin teases. 

 Mike doesn't deny it, just holds up a middle finger. 

 Erwin isn't entirely wrong, though. Mike has been trying to deny it or play it off as nothing more than lust, but there's more to his feelings at this point. He tries not to be obvious around you, to keep his cards close to his chest because he knows you just want to keep things casual—barely even want that if he's being honest. 

 So he can hide it. He can pretend it isn't happening. In fact, Mike should be thankful that you only want sex (sometimes) because it leaves him to do whatever he wants. He could fuck other chicks left and right, and you wouldn't even bat an eyelash. That's a good thing, right? 

 That worry about last night still has him on edge, though, so before you can leave, Mike catches you in your room as you're packing up and closes the door. 

 He expects you to make some kind of comment about not being able to go again, but all you do is tilt your head to the side in a dangerously cute way. 

 "Hey, I, uh… I just wanted to make sure you felt okay after last night." 

 You blink at him, pause in folding your clothes, then show a wide, real grin. 

 "Yeah, I'm fine. Sore in various places—like, super sore—but I'm fine."

 Mike's mouth twists to hide his smirk, and he mumbles a low, "Sorry."

 "Don't ever apologize for your monster cock," you tell him, setting your shirt down on the mattress before pacing over to him. "Like, unless there's tearing of some sort, which there really shouldn't be since you're good at preparation, whoever you fuck should be okay. Sore but okay."

 His eyes go a little wide when you stop in front of him, looking up with an expression he's really never seen before—or maybe that you've never allowed him to see before—and the longer he stares, the more he realizes that you're god damn glowing. 

 Taking a chance, he finds your waist with his hands, inches just a little closer, then leans down when you stand on your toes and tug him by the shirt. 

 You taste like peppermint and already smell like the perfume you wear every day, the scent that has made Mike dizzy for the past few months. He moves a hand to your back to press your body into his, and when you take his bottom lip into your mouth, biting and sucking, he groans and pulls back before he can get too hard. 

 "What's all this? Why are you so perky this morning?" 

 "I get giddy after good sex," you say with a shrug. "Sue me."

 "That why you run away every time I fuck you?" He questions.

 You nod. "Couldn't run away this time, though."

 "I'm sure it's really bruising your pride, letting me see you all warm and gooey." 

 "I am not warm and gooey," you protest. "I was last night, but—"

 "Aw, gross, why'd you have to say it like that?" 

 You giggle—giggle—then remind him, "You're the one who felt the need to fucking fingerpaint."

 Mike vividly remembers the way your pussy looked covered in his cum, the way it felt to smear it and play with your swollen entrance and clit, and now… Now he is definitely hard again. 

 "Better stop before you end up on that bed again."

 Your eyes are dancing, tone mischievous when you respond, "Only if you're gentle."

 "Christ—"

 He's got you naked and spread on the mattress in less than thirty seconds, tongue buried in your cunt as he soothes every part of you he can reach. 

 It would be cruel to actually fuck you again. He knows you're probably a little more tender than you're letting on, so Mike settles for licking into you and flicking your clit, never using teeth as it swells in his mouth so that you pant and moan, and promise, "I can handle it, Mike, I can…"

 "I don't care if you can or can't. Just lemme do this."

 And, it's not like he hasn't pulled his cock from his pants, pumping it and coating his length in the pre-cum he drips at the mere sight of you.

 He can tell you're getting close when your thighs start to tense. You alternate between shifting your hips and going slack. It's the latter that you leak the most, pussy opening around his tongue only to clench a few seconds later. 

 "Just one finger, Mike, please, I want—I need something inside me, please, please," you moan. 

 Mike turns his face to kiss your thigh, sighing but giving in easily when he acquiesces, "Only one."

 The noise you make as he slides his middle finger into you is like music, high pitched and drawn out, with an awe one would sing hymns with. 

 "Yes, yes, yes, thank you, fuck, tha—"

 He understands why you wanted it so badly when he pulls it out and sees his finger coated in white, considers fucking you with it to the point of tears, but before he can, the door to the bedroom swings open and fucking Erwin walks in to ask, "Levi and I are going to the store—"

 “Jesus fuck, Erwin!" Mike swears. "A little busy here!"

 His friend is unfazed, but more importantly, you are too, arching your back, pulling Mike's hair to get him back where you want him, then moaning his name like you never have before as you come. 

 You tremble and take in stuttering breaths, and Mike does his best to hide your exposed pussy from prying eyes as he looks at Erwin and barks out a furious, "No, I don't need anything from the store. Get out."

 The blond shrugs and turns, walking out without shutting the door, and Mike swears he's gonna kill him. He's too bold and too entitled and now he's seen far too much of your body, and Mike doesn't like that. 

 "Did you come?" You ask in an airy voice. Mike guesses you could feel the rhythm of his hand on his cock, probably pushing his face harder against you with every pass. 

 "Uh, no. I don't know if you noticed, but Erwin walked in."

 "I noticed," you snort, sitting up on your elbows. "Why do you think I moaned your name like that?"

 "What?" It had seemed a little odd. Mike knows he's pretty good at oral, but you've never made a sound like that before. 

 "Fucker wanted to see what we were up to, I decided to show him. Now he knows how good you are."

 Mike stands, peers down at you skeptically and says, "You're being too nice to me today. It's freakin' me out a little."

 He doesn't think it's necessary to add that Erwin is already aware of his sexual prowess considering they definitely had a threesome with a rather adventurous girl back in freshman year. It's just not pertinent information. 

 "Soak it up, Zacharias. I'm sure the good mood will be gone by tomorrow."

 "Why, cause I won't be at your mom's to fuck you stupid every night?" His voice comes out cocky, but it's stifled by the way you squeal when he slaps a hand over your wet pussy.

 "I'm sensitive, you asshole!" You're smiling even as you whine. "And, here I was about to give you head to get you off."

 "I mean, you can still do that."

 You glare up at him the whole time you slide off the bed to your knees, warn, "Better hope I don't bite."

 *

 After you leave (and after making out against Mike’s Wrangler for a little too long), he goes back inside to find Erwin and Levi lounging in the den with a movie playing. He wastes no time in snapping his fingers at Erwin and commanding, "We're gonna talk."

 "Oh, are we?" Erwin doesn't even look away until Mike grabs the back of his shirt, and only then does he move from his spot. "Okay, okay, watch the wrinkles, bro."

 He follows Mike into the kitchen, out of earshot unless either of them raise their voices which… Could happen. 

 "What the fuck was that?" Mike hisses. 

 Erwin looks at him with big blue eyes and plays dumb, "What the fuck was what?" 

 Taking a deep breath through his nose, Mike makes sure his voice comes out low and steady, "Smith, I swear to God, it's been a long time since I've punched you, but you're fuckin' testing me, dude."

 Erwin smiles, face lighting up with what looks like excitement but could also be fury. 

 "Mike," he starts. "Don't tell me you're getting violent over a girl." His tone is patronizing, his eyebrows are high, and his grin is downright menacing. 

 "I haven't gotten violent yet," Mike grits. 

 "Hey, how was I to know what you two were doing up there?" 

 "It's not about you walking in, dude! It's about you just fucking standing there!"

 Erwin chuckles and blows him off, "Mike, I've seen your dick before. You've got nothing to worry about."

 "That's not what I'm worried about. You just, like, came in when she was in a vulnerable position, and that's fucked up."

 "She didn't seem to mind."

 Mike sucks his teeth, takes another grounding breath, then asks again, "Why? Why did you wait to leave?" 

 "You want me to be honest?" Erwin rolls his neck then his shoulders. Mike has seen him do that many times before lacrosse games to loosen up—to get ready for a fight. 

 Mike's fist clenches at his side. "Yeah, I do."

 "You've been making yourself crazy over this girl since the start of the semester, and I want to know why."

 "What do you mean?" Mike doesn't know why he asks, has a pretty good idea of what Erwin is alluding to. 

 The blond still dodges the question but in about the worst way possible. "It's not like you two are exclusive or anything."

 Mike feels the way his lungs fill to the point of burning, how his jaw clenches until his molars begin to ache under the pressure, and before he really knows what's happening, he's bowing up to his best friend. 

 Erwin matches him, only a couple inches shorter, chin tilted, that maddening light in his eyes. 

 "Walk away, Mike," he warns. "And, we can forget this little spat even happened."

 Mike peers down his nose at him, trying to rein in his emotions because Erwin is right. You two aren't exclusive. You don't want to be. You told him it was because you need to focus on school, but it could be that you want other options. 

 But fuck, Mike doesn't want Erwin to be one of them. He's stolen more than a few girls right from under Mike's nose with his stupid charm and stupid face and stupid money. He doesn't want you to fall prey to all of it too. 

 Mike doesn't even register the quiet footsteps padding into the kitchen, but Levi's smartass, "You guys about to kiss or somethin'?" definitely snaps him out of his head. 

 Stepping back, Mike resists the urge to punch the counter and break his fucking hand, then turns and strides out. 

 He's supposed to stay at the ranch house for a couple more days, but Mike needs to distance himself before he does something stupid. 

 When he comes back downstairs with his bag on his shoulder and his keys in his hand, Erwin seems to realize his error on at least some level and stands from his place on the couch. 

 "Mike, come on, I'm sor—"

 "Let me cool off, dude,” Mike snaps.

 Erwin shuts his mouth and sits back down, smart enough not to follow Mike outside.

[ next ]

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Present from Sakamaki [PART 1]

ー The scene starts in the classroom

Health committee member (1): ーー There we go. That should conclude the check-up.

Yui: Thank you. Phew...

( Hm...I wonder if it’s because I’ve been having my blood sucked, but my weight has gone down a little. )

( I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad...It’s a complicated feeling. )

Health committee member: Is something the matter?

Yui: Ah, no. This is my health report card.

Health committee member: Yes, thank you very much. (2) ーー Ah.

Yui: ...? Is something wrong?

Health committee member: Oh no, that’s not it.

Here...Your date of birth. It’s your birthday tomorrow, isn’t it?

Yui: Ah, now that you mention it...

Health committee member: I’m one day early, but congratulations!

Yui: ( I honestly didn’t think I’d have anyone congratulate me for my birthday after moving to this city. )

Thank you very much. I’m so haーー

*Rattle*

Laito: Nfu, Bitch-chan~! Laito-kun’s here to pick you up~!

Yui: Laito-kun...!

Kanato: You’re late. What were you doing? You really are such a slowpoke.

Yui: K-Kanato-kun as well...

I’m sorry for keeping you guys waiting. The examination has finished already so let’s go.

Laito: By the way, Bitch-chan~? What did you hand over to the lady just now~? 

*Flip*

Health committee member: Eh? Ahーー!

Yui: L-Laito-kun! Y-You can’t!

Laito: Aah~ Right, they took body measurements today, no?

Yui: I’m begging you, don’t look...!

Laito: Hm...? Oh dear, oh dear, what do we have here...? I see...~ 

Yui: Geez, Laito-kun...!

*Flip*

Laito: Well, I’m not really interested in this stuff so I’ll be nice and hand it back. More importantly, let’s hurry back home.

Yui: ( Thank god. He handed it back right away... )

U-Um...By the way, where’s Ayato-kun?

Laito: The・truth・is...~ He got such a bad grade on his test this morning. 

So he got called over to the faculty room~

*Rattle*

Ayato: ...The fuck?

Laito: Ah, well done getting through the teachers’ scolding~! We were just talking about you.

Ayato: Che...The fuck’s their problem? They kept on naggin’ at me just ‘cause I didn’t get the best score.

Kanato: You reap what you sow. If only you were intelligent like we are, you poor thing.

Ayato: Aah!? You two aren’t much better, are you!?

Laito: Eh~~? We’re not on your level.

Kanato: You had a single-digit number, right? Please do not group us together.

Ayato: Che...

Yui: U-Um, Ayato-kun. Please don’t beat yourself up over it...

Ayato: Fuck off! Come on, Chichinashi. We’re goin’ home already!!

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the limousine

Reiji: Haah...Because of you lot, we are running horribly late.

Yui: ( Uu...I’m pretty sure I informed him of today’s physical examination before we left for school today though... )

Reiji: For one, people such as you lot who fail to stick to a time schedule on a regular basis, will surely experience problems in your daily life as weーー

*Rustle*

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi. Give me your blood once we get home, ‘kay?

This irritated feelin’ is makin’ me thirsty, so I’ll suck you plenty.

Kanato: Could you not just decide that by yourself?

I am just as irritated because you kept us waiting.

I will be sucking her blood first once we get home. Right, Teddy...?

Ayato: Ah? Excuse me...?

Laito: Nfu~ Bitch-chan’s blood, how nice. I’m hungry as well, so why don’t we equally split it amongst us three?

Reiji: ...Haah...I wonder how I got stuck with a bunch of stubborn fools who refuse to listen to what someone is saying...

Shuu: ...

Reiji: ...That being said, I suppose they are still better than the guy who falls asleep before he can even listen at all...

This good-for-nothing...!

Yui: ( R-Reiji-san... )

I-I’m sorry. It’s my fault we were running late. We had a physical check-up today and...

Since I’ve been a little anemic, it took slightly longer than I expected...

Subaru: Hm? ...Oi, have you really been feelin’ anemic?

Yui: Yeah...

( Could he be worried about me...? )

Subaru: I don’t give a damn ‘bout what happens to you...But it’d suck if you’d run dry of blood. Make sure that stuff gets replenished, ‘kay?

Yui: R-Right...

Reiji: Exactly. Your blood is the only value you hold after all.

Yui: ( Of course. That’s all I’m good for to them. )

( What made me think they’d be worried about me...? )

( I should know that already but...For some reason, it makes me a little sad. )

Laito: ...Nfu~

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s bedroom

Yui: Phew...Somehow I’m really exhausted today...

Tomorrow’s a free day, so I’ll hit the hay early and spend some nice, quiet time.

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Tomorrow’s my birthday, huh...? I wonder if I’ll be able to head out somewhere...? )

ー The scene shifts to the living room

Laito: Attention please~! Thank you all for gathering here on this fine evening~!

Ayato: ...Geez, what do you suddenly want? I was thinkin’ of droppin’ by Chichinashi’s room for a sip of blood.

Kanato: My poor Teddy had his snacks stolen by Laito, you know...!? I won’t forgive you if you made me come here for nothing!!

Subaru: Che...

Shuu: ...Pwaah...Sleepy.

Reiji: ...Now this is unexpected. I did not think you and Subaru would show up as well.

Shuu: No...I was already taking a nap here when you guys just started gathering one after the other.

Laito: Nfu~ I plotted this get-together immaculately, no~?

Reiji: ...I suppose one could say you used your brain for once, Laito.

ーー So, what is this about? Please stop beating around the bush, and explain to us what is going on.

Subaru: It better not be some bullshit or you’re not gettin’ away with it!

Laito: Hm~ Thank you for your typical input, Subaru-kun~ However, I’m pretty sure you’re going to love hearing about this?

Kanato: What do you have to tell us then!?

Laito: You see, it happens to be Bitch-chan’s birthday tomorrow~

Ayato: Ah? Birthday?

Laito: Yes, exactly!

So...I figured we would all throw a surprise birthday party for her!

Subaru: Ah!? Who in their right mind would waste their fuckin’ time on somethin’ so ridiculous!?

Laito: Oh come on~ I mean, she’s always giving us her delicious blood, no?

Ayato: ‘Giving’, my ass! It belongs to me either way.

Laito: Relax! That’s not what matters right now!

I don’t think it would hurt to show our gratitude and do something in return for once though~

Kanato: Surprise birthday party...

Ayato: Keh. Why do we have to show our gratitude? She’s our prey!

Laito: Eeeh~~~? I thought it’d be fun though. I mean, if none of you are up for it, I guess I’ll drop the ideaー

Don’t you think you’d get to indulge in plenty of takoyaki or sweets? It is a birthday party after all.

Ayato: ...

Kanato: ...

Laito: But well, seems like I’m out of luck, so I suppose I’ll have to give up~

Kanato: Please wait. I cannot possibly turn down an opportunity to eat sweets.

Ayato: I’m in too! Let’s prepare a whole mountain of takoyaki and throw this party!!

Laito: Nfu...~ Now that’s sounding more like a proper celebration.

Reiji: Haah...I feel ashamed having to call those three my brothers...

Shuu: ...Who cares. Just do as you please...

Ayato: Stop complainin’ if you’re not even gonna join in. That only means there will be more food for me, so don’t even bother showin’ up!

Kanato: Agreed. You won’t join either, Subaru?

Subaru: No way in hell I’m botherin’ with that annoyin’ crap!

Laito: Hm~ I would have loved it if we could all participate though. You’re skipping out as well, Reiji?

Reiji: Well, under normal circumstances, I would never consider taking part in such nonsense. Howeverーー

It cannot be denied that she has been donating her blood to us.

Furthermore, I cannot see things ending well if the three of you combine forces. 

Worst-case scenario, the whole manor will be blown into the air...Which would be highly troublesome, so I shall participate to keep an eye on things.

Ayato: Keh, there you go talkin’ shit ‘bout us again.

Laito: Well, I guess the four of us will celebrate Bitch-chan’s birthday together then.

Reiji: Halt. Do you truly believe that I can supervise all three of you just by myself?

Laito: I’m pretty sure we don’t need someone keeping an eye on us though~? 

Reiji: I am not that naive to fall for those words.

I am using my veto to impose mandatory participation on every member of this household, understood?

Subaru: Haah!? What gives you the right to do that!?

Reiji: Do you have any idea how much I look after all of you on a daily basis? 

Subaru: Aah!? Fuck do I know!? Besides, we never asked you to do that shit, nor do we actively try and trouble you!? 

Reiji: I suppose those being looked after do not realize how privileged they are themselves. ...That good-for-nothing over there is a prime example of that.

Shuu: ...

Reiji: Better be safe than sorry. You shall participate to protect the manor.

Shuu: Ahー ...What a drag. Fine, so just shut up already...

Reiji: Very well. Well then, Subaru. You will join in as well, no?

Subaru: Hell no.

Laito: Oh come on, why not~? You should join the fun as well. It’s not like you get the chance every day? Right?

If you continue to be stubbornー...

Nfu~ We’ll hold the party over at your room, okay?

Subaru: Haah!? No fuckin’ way!!

Laito: Perfect! That means everyone’s in!

Subaru: Oi!! Don’t make that choice for me!

Laito: Eeh~~? But then we’ll throw the party in your room though? Are you fine with that?

Ayato: Actually, didn’t you lose your temper the other day and busted another hole through the wall?

Shuu: Haha...Taking a nap while enjoying the night breeze honestly isn’t that bad though...

Subaru: ...Don’t come here to sleep...

...Fuck...! You guys better don’t make me do all of the shitty tasks!

Reiji: Well then, I suppose that wraps up this discussion. As for what we need to prepare, the obvious things would be...

Ayato: Takoyaki, duh!

Kanato: I want to eat a cake covered in whipped cream with a bunch of large strawberries on top!

Reiji: Those are the things you guys want to eat, no? We should at least try and consider what she likes.

Ayato: Ah? What are you sayin’? We’re already doin’ plenty by celebrating her birthday, no?

Laito: They say it’s the sentiment which counts, right?

Reiji: Guh...I am baffled to hear something sensical come from you lot’s mouths for once.

Kanato: So, what exactly do I need to do to get my strawberry cake?

Subaru: ...Aren’t we kind of missin’ the point now?

Laito: Oh well, wasn’t there this one important guy who said that participating is more important than winning?

...That being said, let’s go shopping for all the foods we want to eat!

Kanato: I don’t mind if you go buy it for me, but it better be delicious.

Subaru: Then go buy it yourself!

Kanato: Me? Going grocery shopping? Why would I bother doing something so troublesoーー

Right...In one of the books I read in the past, it said that a birthday cake is best when homemade.

I can put on as much whipped cream as I like, before decorating it with a bunch of strawberries...Fufu, my own exclusive cake.

Haah...Just imagining it is making my mouth water...I’ve decided. I will make a delicious cake.

Reiji: Not in my book.

Kanato: Why do I need your permission? I decided I will make it, so it’s already settled.

Ayato: Oh, sounds kinda interestin’! In that case, I’m gonna try my hand at some homemade takoyaki as well!

Reiji: You make it sound so easy...Do you truly believe you can pull it off?

Shuu: Haah. This situation is steadily going downhill...

Laito: Nfu~ Homemade, huh? It’s starting to sound more and more like a real birthday party.

Reiji: Laito, why are you pretending as if you take no responsibility in this?

You are the one who brought up the idea in the first place, so you should make sure things are kept in check.

Laito: Eh~~~? But that’s what you’re here for, no?

Ayato: ...So, what else needs to get done?

Kanato: You aren’t thinking of making us do all the work, right?

Reiji: Of course. For one...

I have yet to hear of a birthday party with only takoyaki and a cake.

Ayato: Haah? What’s so bad about that?

Reiji: It is a day on which humans celebrate their very short life, so do you not believe there should be a diverse, luxurious buffet as you would see at evening galas or dinner banquets?

Kanato: I do remember how noisy those evening parties would be. However, I am not interested in anything besides the cake.

Reiji: ...Haah, you are only thinking of your own gain. Truly what one would expect from you lot.

Ayato: I mean, I doubt Chichinashi will enjoy it, unless we’re having fun as well!

Subaru: Che...Ridiculous...

Reiji: Good grief...I suppose I have no other choice. In that case, I shall be in charge of making the main course...

Laito: In that case, I’ll help out Ayato-kun~ Making takoyaki sounds kind of fun, to be honest.

Shuu: Pwaaah~ ...Doesn’t seem like there’s anything I need to do...

Reiji: You shall keep an eye on her to ensure she does not leave her room.

It is a trivial task, perfect for someone like you, no?

Shuu: ...Che...What a chore...

Subaru: Haah, whatever.

Reiji: Subaru, you will be doing your fair share as well.

Subaru: Haah!?

Reiji: Do you truly believe I can trust Kanato by himself in the kitchen? Make sure to keep an eye on him.

Subaru: Why me!?

Reiji: Since you are the only one still left without a task, obviously?

I expect you to put your life on the line to ensure the kitchen does not go up in flames.

Subaru: Annoyin’...

Laito: Okaay~! Well then everyone, off we go! (3)

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Oi, Reiji! Step back! I gotta be the one walkin’ in front!

Reiji: Pipe down, Ayato.

Kanato: Good grief...I cannot stand all this noise. Say, you feel so too, don’t you, Teddy...?

Subaru: We’re not lil’ children anymore, so wouldn’t it have been better if just one of us did the shoppin’ by themselves...?

Laito: Oh come on, don’t you think it’s fun to all go grocery shopping together for once~?

Subaru: ...Che. Don’t talk to me as if we’re buds.

Reiji: ...Hm? Everyone, wait one second.

I cannot see Shuu anywhere around?

Subaru: Haah? Who cares? He’s probably snoozin’ again somewhere.

Reiji: Good grief...Here I thought he was actually joining without any protests for once, but there he goes acting off his own accord again...Truly infuriating.

Even though we have to ensure we are back at the manor by the time she wakes upーー

Ayato: Oh! They’ve got a takoyaki grill! Laito! Let’s go check it out!

Laito: Huh~? But don’t we already have one of those?

Ayato: Ah? Like I know where to find that thing. It’d be too much trouble lookin’ for it.

Laito: Good point! Let’s go have a look then!

ー The two of them enter a store

Reiji: Ah, halt! We should stick to the planning and only visit the necessary stoーー

Kanato: I simply cannot spend another minute with this rowdy bunch.

I will go my own way, so come look for me if you need me.

ー Kanato leaves as well

Reiji: Hey! Where are you going, Kanato!? I will not let this selfish behavior slide!

Haah...

Shuu: Pwaah...Like this, I can’t relax no matter where I go...

Reiji: You good-for-nothing...You shamelessly come walking up to me and that’s the first thing you say...?

Shuu: Nn...I’ll be over on that bench over there, so just come wake me up once you’re done shopping...

Reiji: At this point, your laziness has surpassed the point of being disappointing, it almost feels refreshing.

Shuu: Thanks for the compliment...Sleepy...

ー Shuu steps away

Reiji: It honestly is not even worth insulting him...

Subaru: Haah...The fuck is this farce? I want to go back home...

*SCENE SHIFT*

Ayato: Oi, Laito! Do you know what ingredients we need to make takoyaki?

Laito: It’s called takoyaki, so octopus is a given, right?

Ayato: I know that much as well!

But I want to make takoyaki like nobody has ever tasted before!

I’m gonna make so many of them, they’ll pile up all the way to the ceiling!

Laito: Nfu~ Sounds like something you would do. In that case, we need to stock up on plenty of ingredients.

Ayato: Yeah! We’ve got plenty of people with us to carry the bags!

Laito: If we’re going through the trouble of making them, it’d be a little dull to stick to normal takoyaki, right? ...Ah, how about this?

Ayato: Wasabi? Whatcha gonna do with that?

Laito: Fufufu, that’s something to look forward to at the party.

Ayato: ...This and these, also those over there...

Laito: Let’s put them all in our basket! I’m so excited, nfu~

*SCENE SHIFT*

Reiji: Honestly those triplets, always doing as they please...

Subaru, wait right here. I will go call them.

Subaru: Haah!? Why do I have to...Wait, oi!

ー Reiji leaves

Subaru: ...Haah. This grocery run is fucked up.

Shuu: ...

Subaru: This guy is seriously out here snoozin’...

Shuu: ...Shut up. I’m still awake.

Subaru: The fuck!? You’re actually awake...

Shuu: Haah...I just don’t want to move because it’s too much of a chore...

Subaru: Then why did you even join us in the first place...

Shuu: I could ask you the exact same thing...Pwaah...

Subaru: ...Che.

ー Subaru starts walking away

Shuu: ...Oh? Going home?

Subaru: Shut up. Leave me alone.

ー Subaru leaves

Shuu: ...

*SCENE SHIFT*

Subaru: ...

Kanato: Aah, as if on cue. Subaru.

Subaru: Che, goin’ home now after he said that just doesn’t sit right with me...

Kanato: Subaru.

Subaru: That bein’ said, I don’t want to just have to stand there and play supervisor either. I’m goin’ home because I want to.

Kanato: Subaru!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ow, the fuck you doin’, bastard!?

Kanato: How many times do I have to call you before you come? Are those ears there just for decoration?

Subaru: Ah? I filter out that annoyin’ voice of yours.

So, what do you want?

Kanato: I’ve settled on the ingredients I want for the cake. Please carry the basket and follow me.

Subaru: Haah!? Why do I have to act as your personal carrier!? I was just ‘bout to head home!!

Kanato: What are you saying? The two of us are in charge of preparing the cake together, so it only makes sense for you to help out, no?

Subaru: You’re the one who wants to make that damn thing, aren’t you? Then shouldn’t you be carrying the basket yourself?

Kanato: I’m already holding Teddy. How am I supposed to do that?

Subaru: Aah!? I’m gonna punch you, you bastard!

Kanato: Punch me? You’ll ignore my request and hit me...? Even though you’re the one just standing around there, doing absolutely nothing?

Yet you trample all over my generous attempts to try and help you be useful...Who do you think you are!?

If you fail to understand that, then why don’t you punch yourself on the head instead? Come on, hurry up and do it!

Subaru: Haah...Shut up. Ahー Fine! I just have to carry your stuff, right?

Kanato: Hmph. ...You should have just done so from the very start. Right, Teddy...?

Subaru: Fuck off! I’m comin’ so shut up and show me the way!

Kanato: Fufu, it’s this way.

Subaru: Honestly...I seriously should have never tagged along...Fuck.

*SCENE SHIFT*

Reiji: ...That’s...

Subaru: ...

Reiji: Subaru. Why are you here?

Did I not tell you to wait by that bench over there earlier?

Subaru: Ah, geez! Stop naggin’ at me this whole time! I can go wherever I want!

Reiji: Do you not think you are at fault for not simply saying no earlier? Honestly, it’s always the youngest ones that cause trouble...

Subaru: Oi, you jerk. What didya say just now!?

Reiji: I only stated the truth. So, why are you on the move?

I gave you that task because I figured you would not want to have to walk around.

Take a look! I have brought Ayato and Laito along with me.

Ayato: Ah? 

Laito: Nfu~ You’re talking about us as if we’re your luggage~

Subaru: Not my fault! I’m not doin’ this ‘cause I want to! If you want to complain, then complain to Kanato instead!

Kanato: We’re going to buy the ingredients for the cake. You really are the very definition of a creep, trying to track my every move.

Reiji: ...

Ayato: Oi, Four-Eyes. I know what I wanna buy so gimme some cash.

Reiji: You sure have some nerve to ask me for money after you have been doing nothing but acting selfishly this whole time. Do you really think you can get away with that!?

Ayato: Ah? Why are you snappin’ at me? You’re such a cheapskate.

Kanato: Exactly. Why do you not try and keep your calm a little?

Laito: Nfu~ Perhaps you’re running a little low on calcium~? (4)

Reiji: ...

Subaru: ...

Reiji: ...Very well. Just do as you please. However, I do not intend to give you lot a single yen.

ー Reiji leaves

Ayato: Ah! Oi, wait! ...O-Oi, do any of you guys have some cash?

Kanato: Are you dumb? Why would I have money on me?

Subaru: Oi, what are we gonna do...

Laito: This is your fault, Ayato! Go apologize to Reiji!

Ayato: Haah!? Why do I have to say sorry!?

Kanato: That’s easy. Because you’re to blame for everything.

Ayato: Haah!? He was upset with you as well!

Laito: In that case, the two of you should go say sorry.

Kanato: Why are you trying to escape the blame when you’re the one who was together with Ayato in the first place?

Ayato: I’m never apologizin’!

Laito: Get going, you two.

Kanato: I’m not going either!

Subaru: Ahー God! Stop the damn arguin’! All three of you should go apologize!

Ayato: Why do I have to!?

Laito: Ehー?

Kanato: Under no circumstances!

Shuu: You guys are way too loud...You’re practically shouting for the whole store.

Pwaah...That being said...You’re still not done...?

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru: ーー There you have it. So Reiji, just give in already.

At this rate, we’ll never make it back to the manor.

Reiji: Even so, I cannot give in now.

Subaru: ...

Reiji: ーー However, right...I suppose I shall show my gratitude and let it slide this once. Although I have yet to hear an apology.

Ayato: What is this Four-Eyes goin’ on ‘bout?

Reiji: If you continue to call me that, I would not mind just heading home straight away.

Ayato: Che...

Reiji: Hmph...

Subaru, I will be joining the three of them.

Meanwhile you will go look for Shuu so the two of you can purchase the ingredients I need for my own dish.

Subaru: ...Hah? Why not just buy them yourself?

Reiji: Perhaps try using that brain of yours a little and you will realize that it is simply impossible to look for the items on my own list while also keeping an eye on those triplets at the same time.

Above all, I want to ensure that good-for-nothing at least does something as well.

Subaru: I don’t get it. I’m not doin’ anythin’, understood?

Kanato: How can you be so selfish?

Ayato: Exactly! Are you goin’ to ruin this whole thing ‘cause you’re being a selfish prick?

Laito: Reiji’s mood finally improved, but now Subaru-kun’s going to ruin it again?

Subaru: Fuck...What is your problem!?

Laito: It’s easy, no? If Reiji doesn’t give us any money.

We can’t buy the stuff we need for Bitch-chan’s birthday party, right? Ah-ah, I’m sure she would have been so happy as well.

Subaru: ...

Che...I just have to go buy that shit, right!?

*Flip*

Reiji: Very well. I have written down everything with the exact quantities I need on this note.

Subaru: ...You nitpicker.

Reiji: It would be bad to overbuy, no? Please call it effective instead.

I will pay for all ingredients together, so please wait in front of the cashier once you’re done.

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...Hmph.

ー Subaru walks off with the memo

*SCENE SHIFT*

Subaru: Shuu!! Wake up!

Shuu: How could I sleep under these circumstances...? You guys are really noisy...

Subaru: I have to go through this shit ‘cause you were loafin’ ‘round! Now get up and make yourself useful!

Shuu: ...Haah...Guess I have no other choice. I heard most of the conversation earlier, so I’ll make an effort to move today...

Nn...So, what do we have to buy...?

Subaru: This.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Haah, that’s quite the list...Subaru, you carry the basket.

Subaru: Haah!? You can go get it yourself, no!? Why is it always me!?

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...Nn...

( I wonder when I last got such a good night’s rest? )

( Usually, someone always barged in to suck my blood the second I try to go to bedーー )

*BOOM*

Yui: W-What was that!?

( That sound just now...I didn’t just imagine it, right? )

*BOOM*

Yui: A-Again!? Also, I can smell something burnt as well...

( I-Is everyone okay...? I should go check up on the situation... )

ー Yui tries to leave her room

Shuu: ...

Yui: ...S-Shuu-san! What is happening!?

( Why is Shuu-san lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway...!? )

*BOOM*

Yui: Another explosion...!?

Shuu-san, wake up please! ...Shuu-san!

( Oh no...He’s not waking up at all. There might actually be something wrong with him... )

Um, Shuu-san...! P-Please wait right here! I’ll go call someone else!

*Rustle*

Shuu: ...Shut up. ...Oh, it’s you.

Yui: Shuu-san...!

( T-Thank god. He was just asleep... )

Shuu: ...My muscles are sore...

Yui: Geez, it’s because you slept on the ground. More importantly, why are you here?

Shuu: Ahー... I have no other choice, do I? ...I have to keep an eye on you...

Yui: ...?

Shuu: ...No, it’s nothing.

*BOOM*

Yui: ( ...!! )

U-Um...Do you have any idea what these loud blasts are about...?

Shuu: Hm? Aah...You’re just hearing things. Now hurry back to your roomーー

*BOOM*

Shuu: ...

Yui: That sound again...!!

Shuu: ...Guess we’re not using the kitchen for a while after this...

Yui: Um, what did you say just now...?

Shuu: Nothing...Well, you can just continue sleeping, don’t let it bother you.

Yui: E-Easier said than done...

Shuu: Whatever, just go to bed....If not, that fussy guy will...

ー Reiji joins them

Shuu: ...Too late.

Yui: Ah, Reiji-san...!

Reiji: I came to check up on you because I could imagine you would be sleeping on the job again...

Yui: ( The job? What is he talking about? )

Reiji: You...You’ve woken up, I see?

Yui: Um, is something the matter? I’ve been hearing these explosions this whole time.

Reiji: No, it is nothing serious. You should return to your own room.

Yui: But, I’m worried about the others...

Reiji: Your concern is meaningless to us Vampires. Now get back to your room.

*BOOM*

Yui: A-Again!? Um, Reiji-san...?

Reiji: ...Haah, for god’s sake...

*SCENE SHIFT*

*BOOM*

Ayato: Uwaaah!? What the fuck’s happenin’!? Do somethin’ ‘bout this!!

*CRASH*

Laito: The fire, Ayato-kun! Hurry up and extinguish the flames!!

Ayato: You do that!!

Laito: Okay, here I go!!

*SPLASH*

Ayato: Oi, that’s damn cold...!!

Kanato: What are you doing!? It nearly got on Teddy!!

Ayato: Complain to Laito, not to me!!

Laito: Ahaha! My bad, my bad~! My hand slipped a little~

*Thud*

Ayato: Ah! Hot, hot, hot! Oi, this thing’s hella hot if you touch it!

Subaru: Oi, you fool!! Of course it’s gonna be hot...Che!

*SHATTER*

Kanato: Why do you keep on getting in my way, Ayato!?

Ayato: I’m not doin’ it on purpose either!

Kanato: Then get out of my sight! You’re in the way!

Laito: Uwah~ This situation keeps on getting worse and worse. I feel like it’s beyond saving at this point?

Subaru: Don’t be standin’ there makin’ a calm observation of the situation and do somethin’ ‘bout it instead!

Laito: Ah~ No chance! Once things stop exploding, we’ll just have to start over from scratch, okay?

Kanato: Don’t be ridiculous! Do you have any idea how much time and effort I put into getting this far!?

Ayato: Crap! I think it’s gonna boom again!

Subaru: Oi, idiot! Don’t come my way with that thing!!

*BOOM*

*CRASH*

Subaru: Fuckーー!! Which one of you bastards thought this was a good idea!?

*SCENE SHIFT*

*BOOM*

*CRASH*

Yui: ( I could faintly hear Ayato-kun and the others in the background. I’m sure they’re the ones behind these loud noises... )

( I have no idea what they’re doing, but I can tell that the manor is on the brink of destruction... )

Reiji: ...

Yui: ( Reiji-san’s temples are twitching...I’m pretty sure he’s infuriated...? )

U-Um...If there’s any way I can help out...

Reiji: ...No, that will not be needed. I will take care of it...

Yui: I see...

*BOOM*

*SHATTER*

Yui: ( Honestly, what is going on? I can still hear everyone shouting too... )

Reiji: Shuu, how long do you intend to sleep amidst this ruckus?

Shuu: ...Shut up, I’m awake. I’m doing the task given to me, no?

Yui: ...Task?

Reiji: Aah...It is nothing that should concern you.

I will come and call you later, so do not set foot outside of your room until then.

Yui: Eh? U-Um...

Reiji: Understood?

Yui: ( S-Scary...I probably shouldn’t ask any more questions, right? )

...Yes...

Reiji: Very well. Well then, good-for-nothing. You will be switching duties and head towards the kitchen with me.

Shuu: Haah...What a drag...

ー The two of them leave

Yui: ( ...What on earth is happening in this house? )

( However, I have no other choice but to return to my room after what Reiji-san told me, right? )

ー Yui goes back inside her room

Yui: ( I went back inside as I was told to, but... )

*CRASH*

Reiji: Ayato! Cut it out! What are you even trying to do!?

Ayato: I just...!!

*BOOM*

Ayato: Uwaaah! This damn thing exploded again!!

*THUD*

Yui: ( Don’t let it bother you, just ignore it... )

Subaru: Uwaah! The fuck you doin’, Kanato!? Don’t point that dangerous thing towards me! 

Kanato: ...Fufufu, I talked it over with Teddy, and we’ve decided to take down Ayato with this!

Laito: Then point it towards Ayato-kun instea...Uwaah!!

*BOOM*

*SHATTER*

Reiji: Ah, you lot...Stop this at once!!

Yui: ( Peace of mind...Positive thinking... )

Kanato: Ayato! Keep still and let yourself get hit!

Ayato: In your dreams!

Laito: Ooh~ Nice catch, Ayato-kun! Now dump it inside the water...

Ayato: Kanato, you should go ahead and blow up!

*BOOM*

Yui: ( ...Haah, I feel as if it just keeps on getting worse... )

( Speaking of which, I can’t hear Shuu-san at all. He can’t possibly be asleep amidst all of that...Right? )

( Even a Vampire would get hurt, no...? )

( Above all, it’s kind of rare for all of them to gather and do something together. )

( Hm...I honestly can’t imagine what they could be doing. )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) At Japanese high schools, they usually have a health committee with a representative in each class. This student is in charge of helping out during the physical examinations, will escort students when they are feeling ill or have injured themselves to the infirmary, etc.

(2) In Japan, it is quite common to say ‘I have received it’ when somebody hands you something. (People at stores might say it when you pay and give them the money as well.) However, the translation ‘Thank you’ just sounded more fluent and natural in English.

(3) 持ち場に着く or ‘mochiba ni tsuku’ usually gets translated as ‘to get to your station’ or ‘to get in position’. However, since some of them are actually moving places/leaving the house, I altered the translation a little. 

(4) I had never heard of this before, but I googled the terms ‘calcium deficiency’ and ‘irritation’ in Japanese and did find multiple articles talking about a possible link between a bad mood and lacking calcium.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

[ Part 2 ] →

[girlindelusionn]

finally finished himym!! hated the finale (of course) so here's another "most likely to" but much longer to help me cope (negate, why lie to you) with how the most awesome couple ended

(also this probably has a million mistakes but im too lazy to do something about it, having to write in english is hard man, so please ignore it:D)

most likely to: swarkles version :)

Who spends almost all their money on the other?

barney, definitely. he's not exactly the best at actually coming up with gifts so sometimes for birthdays or stuff like that he just takes her to the mall and lets her pick whatever she wants (he also makes fun of her the whole time, but i don't think it's necessary to clarify that)

Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

barney doesn't know how to drive and is generally better with technology, so robin drives and he gives directions and prevents her fights with the gps to get really violent

also robin is a REALLY violent driver, she doesn't go really fast but if anyone has the audacity to get in her way shes going to definitely roast the fuck out of them

"oh i know you're not honking at me… LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT, IM GOING TO MAKE THE TURN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? YOU WANT ME TO FLY OVER YOU? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND LET ME GET IN THE FUCKING L– there you go, thanks!..."

Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they're tired?

barney to robin, one of the "corny couple" million things he swore he wasn't going to do. but then robin simply looks at him with a sad face, explaining how much her feet hurt and he can't say no

Who is the most affectionate?

barney, actually

it's surprising, cause he's always been someone who likes his space but there's times, mostly in private, when he just can't keep his hands to himself. and you would think it's purely sexual but no, in the contrary, most times it's just a hand in her hair or her back, or demanding hugs and cuddles

Who falls asleep in the other's lap and who carries them to bed?

trick question! barney is who carries robin to bed, but she falls asleep in his shoulder

and he is the one who falls asleep in robin's lap, with her running her hands through his hair

Who wakes up first?

neither of them is a morning person, but usually robin works out in mornings so her. on weekends they stay in bed as long as they can

Who apologizes first after an argument?

they're both stubborn as hell so they schedule apologizes and take turns on doing it

Who is the nerd?

both of them, in different aspects. like robin likes math to the point of doing problems and equations for fun ??? and well, barney is a huge star wars, lord of the rings, that kinda books, nerd

i like to think that they have harry potter in common, they've read all the books, make marathons with the movies, they even went to the universal park! and had a lot of fun there (of course they've never told the guys that)

Who makes the other one laugh the most?

barney, he knows robin cant be mad and laughing at the same time and he uses it as an advantage

Who sleep talks?

robin 🥺

Who hogs the blankets at night?

also robin, but barney doesn't care

Who is the neat freak?

neither of them, but they manage to keep the place decent

Who likes to surprise the other with random gifts?

barney! single flowers, tiny chocolates, etc

Who buys the healthy food in the house?

robin, but it's mostly barney who does the actual cooking

Who has better music taste?

robin 😎

Who takes care of the spiders?

they do it together as a team, and if that doesn't work (aka if the spider is slightly bigger than average) they just go whining to marshall and he fixes it

Who uses more nicknames?

barney is mostly sweetie but after the wedding robin is kinda obsessed with the word husband

"so how's the most handsome husband, huh?"

"did you buyed the milk I texted you for, husband?"

"hi, husband!!"

robin is babe or sometimes honey, and after the wedding barney keeps calling her his "ex-girlfriend" (don't tell anyone, but he also LOVES the term wife, he can't comprehend how is he so lucky to have her as his wife)

(update after actually finishing the show: r-train and b-nasty!!!)

Who's the little spoon?

first year of dating? robin

after that is barney, you can't change my mind

Who suggests scary movies for film night?

robin!! but they both like them

Who gets jealous more often?

both, barney is less dissimulated about it

Who brings up kids first?

no of them, lol

Who borrows who's clothes more?

robin, she has stole the few hoodies he had and sometimes for sexy times likes using his ties

barney secretly uses some of her giganteus t shirts (he makes fun of her for buying them but he's actually glad she does) for sleep when she's away for the night

...they smell like her, okay? leave him alone

(also he loves when she uses his underwear and sometimes the only way to convince her to do it is doing the same himself, so he has wore panties)

(don't tell ted)

(please)

Who cries more during sad movies?

barney, is hard for robin to cry for movies, also he loves villains and they hardly have a happy ending so...

Who falls asleep on the other more?

robin, she falls asleep very easily

Who says I love you more?

barney :)

Who initiates kisses more?

also blondie, again he's a little obsessed with his wife

Who initiates hugs more?

robin this time

Who takes more pictures of the other?

robin, for sure. at first it was cause she wanted that bad picture of him, but then his husband is really cute with his sleepy eyes and the sun on his face, or looks so excited to watch the next episode of some lame show, or he's bringing her breakfast at bed with a big smile or looks a little too good with his new suit and she can't help but take her phone out and snap a pic of him

Who leaves notes for the other one around the house?

barney, at first it was to annoy her, like writing "you lost the game!!" at random places (i'm sorry lmao, i just realized i made you lose too, lol) or "sorry, babe! i ate it all last night" at the empty wrappers of candy in the fridge

but then one day barney found one in a coffee mug:

"wow, you didn't put much imagination in hiding this one, didn't you?" he said, his girlfriend was in the bedroom finishing to get ready for work.

"read it!!" she shot back, a little… nervous?

"i love you", the note said.

"scherbatsky?"

"yeah...?"

"come here"

"what's up?" she finally showed up to the living room, looking all tiny and scared

"love you too, loser"

Who gets drunk faster?

barney? i don't know, they both handle scotch pretty well, so i'm guessing it takes a while for them to get drunk

Who gets hit on more by strangers?

robin, but she couldn't care less

Who makes food for the house more often?

barney, he's a surprisingly good cook

[kareofbears]

margin of error

Sophia knows a lot, but that does not mean she understands much of anything at all.

Or, Sophia struggles to grasp why Akira and Ryuji don't follow her predictive algorithm.

read on ao3 or below the cut :)

Sophia knows a lot.

She can tell you almost anything in the known world in an instant. Calculate the radius of the sun. Who won Best Picture three years ago. The outfit to wear when you need to 'dress to impress.' Just yesterday, she was able to find them a bath, a takoyaki restaurant, and an overnight camping site within 0.3 milliseconds. That’s not very many seconds.

Sophia knows a lot, but that does not mean she understands much of anything at all.

She’s quiet while she’s propped on the phone stand, watching the rest of them lounge in the RV. There’s a shape to the interior that wasn’t there before—where it had been pristine when they had first gotten it, now it’s littered with crumbs and instant-food packaging despite Makoto’s half-hearted attempts at scolding them for it. Empty surfaces are filled with knick-knacks, stuffies and a plastic ramen bowl rattling gently along with the RV.

There’s a rare lull amongst them, a moment of quiet. Most of them were napping away the road, gently snoring and bodies jostling whenever a pothole hits, oblivious to the scenery that passes by. Only the soft tunes of pop music from the front and the hum of the engine broke the quiet.

Other than Makoto, there were only two people awake: Akira, scribbling in his journal, and Ryuji, watching him do it. They sat across from each other in the booth, with Ryuji’s chin propped against his hand.

Probability and pinpoint accuracy is what she excels at, and being able to apply them to her friends excites her. Not to mention, she hasn’t been wrong yet.

Idly, she runs the numbers—according to the data she’s collected from spending time with them, the silence will be broken by Ryuji within approximately two minutes. Pulling up a time from within Akira’s phone, she waits eagerly.

A minute passes, and then another. And another. Akira is still scribbling in his neat penmanship and Ryuji is still watching him doing it, unspeaking.

Frowning, she double-checks her calculations. No errors that she can see. It seems that he simply does not want to speak. This is surprising, and very unlike him. He is not usually this quiet. In the Metaverse, he is by far the loudest of them; calling on his Persona’s name can often leave her own ears ringing.

The real world does not stray from that data. His voice is clear in crowded areas, helpful in guiding their big group throughout bustling cities. He is often shushed by the girls when they are trying to sleep at night—Futaba even goes as far as to kick the ceiling from her bunk bed.

The data is strong and sure. There should not be a reason that she should be wrong in this assumption unless there’s a confounding variable that she had missed.

Akira looks up and catches his eye. “Am I boring you?” he asks quietly.

Ryuji shakes his head, grinning. “Couldn’t be happier,” he whispers back.

Sophia’s about to ask when Makoto cuts her off.

“Wake up everyone. We’re here.”

—

“Okay,” Akira calls. His voice isn’t raised, despite the crowded street of downtown Sendai, but they all straighten up. “We’re probably not going to spend too much time here, especially once we take over the Jail. Grab what you need now—snacks for the trip. Shopping. Souvenirs. Frozen pineapple. Any questions?” Yusuke raises his hand. “Yes, I’ll pay for you.” The hand falls back down, relieved.

“Cool. How about we meet back here…” he squints at the large clock hanging on the wall, hand blocking out the blaring sun. “In an hour?”

A chorus of agreements rolls through them as they rush out, excited to explore a new city. “Good speech,” Sophia pipes up from his hand. “Do you do them often?”

“I try not to,” he yawns. His thick black hair is even more unruly than usual, glasses barely hiding the light blue that’s beginning to form underneath his eyes. “Most of the time, they can handle themselves fine. All they need is a schedule and some rules to work with.”

When she doesn’t answer, Akira brings his phone up. “What? Did I say something?”

“It’s because she’s worried about you, you moron,” a disgruntled voice says.

Akira’s gaze flickers towards it. “You’re still here?”

“Of course I am,” Ryuji says. “You really think I’d leave without saying goodbye? Glad I didn’t either, cause you look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Still pretty, though. No worries about that part.” He shoves his hand deep in his pocket, stray yen clinking against each other as he rummages. After a moment, he throws something at Akira. “Catch.”

He plucks it out from the air with ease. “Car keys?” he asks, surprised.

“Grabbed them from Makoto before she ran off for stationery shopping.” Ryuji reaches forward, gently turning Akira’s head this way and that, frowning. “I told you to quit staying up so late. You’re exhausted.”

“I am not.”

“He is,” Sophia refutes. “Last night, he had approximately four hours of sleep, with only four minutes of that being REM sleep.”

“I told you. She’s even bringing up computer stuff now.”

“I think you are thinking about RAM, Ryuji.”

“Whatever,” he shakes his head. “Look, just head to the RV, get some shut-eye. You can finally sleep in a proper bed that isn’t an overheating tent with three sweaty dudes and a cat. Oh, and trade phones with me.”

He hands it over without hesitation, sliding Ryuji’s phone into his own pocket. “Why?”

“You have the grocery list in here, yeah? Not to mention, I don’t want Sophia getting bored while you nap it up.” He looks down at her. “Hi, by the way.”

“Hi!”

Akira still doesn’t seem convinced. “But I promised Yusuke—”

“Who’s with Ann now, shopping like they’d die if they didn’t get the perfect skirt to fit her next shoot,” he says, uncompromising. “Chill. It’s fine. We’ll survive an hour without Joker keeping an eye on us.”

They stare each other down for a long moment with Sophia watching. She does not need to run the numbers on this one; Akira will not allow himself to go back to the RV.

To her surprise, he relents. “Twenty minutes.”

Ryuji scoffs. “We’ll see about that. You suck at waking up.”

“Shut up.” And then, quieter, “Thank you.”

“You know I got your back.”

He yawns once more, slowly walking back to their car. “Sophia, please make sure that when he gets the Pocky to get the strawberry one. Futaba won’t eat anything else. And also that Haru wanted doilies to make the place look nicer. White, if you can find them.”

“Roger that,” she replies, distracted. How is she wrong again? This is troubling.

“My hoodie’s in my bag if you get cold!” Ryuji calls out. Akira throws him a thumbs up without looking back. “Jeez, that guy. He’s gonna run himself to the ground before he’s thirty, I swear. Like some geezer with a bad back but with really good hairline or something.”

An old man with a thick head of hair shoots him a glare as he passes by them. Ryuji laughs, high-pitched. “Yikes, that was awkward. Let’s get out of here, we need to hit up the grocery store before they run out of carrots.”

Sophia doesn’t answer, too deep in her thoughts and running endless calculations.

—

It’s impossible for her to get a headache, but her code is trying its best to give her one.

Two mistakes now. That isn’t allowed to happen. She’s lucky that they were both relatively small errors, but it can easily become a bigger problem. What can she do?

Luckily, that had a very simple answer.

“Ryuji?”

“Hmm?” He peels his eyes away from scrutinizing the oranges in his hands, the wires from his earphones swaying when he does. After one too many strange looks when he talks to nothing, it was just better to act like he was on a phone call. “Yeah?”

“I have a question.”

“What am I, a teacher?” he snorts. “If you got a question, go ahead. Friends can do that.”

That’s right. They’re friends, and friends have trust in one another. Sophia jotted that down as lesson number forty-eight, thirteen days ago.

“Okay,” she says. Questions float around her, and she picks the one that’s giving her the most stress. “If I was not as useful as you think I am, would we still remain friends?”

The orange tumbles out of his grip, and he rushes to catch it before it hits the ground. “Wha—!” he stutters out. “Duh! Obviously! What the—where the hell did that come from? Did we do something to think that we’d just ditch you like that?” he lifts the phone so that she was eye-level with him. “Be honest,” he says seriously, quickly. “Did I say something to hurt your feelings? I do that sometimes, and I’m working on it, and I know that’s no excuse—”

“You did not say anything to hurt my feelings,” she says before he spirals even further. “In fact, I do not have feelings for you to hurt.”

Relief blooms on his expression, and he sags his body against the fruit display. “Okay, good. Good. Thought I was gonna get a heart attack. I’d be pissed at myself if I did, and I just know Akira would give me so much shit.” He sighs, ridding himself of panic before giving him her full attention. “So what’s up?

“Sir…” an employee shuffles towards them, hands shaking knees knocking against each other. He is afraid, she notes, but of what? “I’m sorry, but it’s against store policy to lean on the product. Please try to understand.”

“Oh, shoot!” Ryuji exclaims, straightening up. “Sorry, man. I didn’t even realize. I think I squished an orange, but I’ll buy it so your boss doesn’t give you hell for that one.”

The employee blinks. “You would?” he says, shocked. “That would be great, actually. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t sweat it,” he waves it off. Tugging the shopping cart, he places Sophia where they’d normally put babies. “Hope he doesn’t get in trouble. I feel kinda bad.”

She thinks for a moment. “Ryuji, why was that man afraid?”

Swiftly, red rushes to his cheeks. “That obvious? Aw, man.”

“I don’t know if it was obvious, but all the signs were there,” she says, watching as he ducks his head, embarrassed. “What is happening? I do not understand.”

“It’s just—” his eyes shift sideways, meeting the eye of a young girl. Immediately, she directs her gaze downwards. “I look really scary to people.”

“You do?” It isn’t in her program to doubt, but she is rather skeptical. During the entire trip, he has been nothing but kind to her. Yes, there are times when he has arguments with others in the group, but more often than not it’s him that’s being teased rather than the other way around. “Why? You aren’t even that tall.”

“Ouch?”

“I’m just saying that you are not scary to me, so I don’t really understand why other people would be.”

He sighs, picking up a box of miso unseeingly. “It’s a combination of a lot of things. My hair’s bleached, and people usually see that as like, punk or whatever. My posture sucks and my voice is loud.” Shrugging, he throws it in the cart. “It doesn’t really bug me though. At least that means strangers usually don’t bother the group, cause they think I’ll kick their ass.”

“And would you?” Sophia crosses off miso. Only bandages are left on the list, but the cart is filled with snacks, sodas, and a small cactus. “‘Kick their ass?’”

“No way. If I did, my mom would kick my ass, and I can’t pull that shit twice in a lifetime.” Pushing the cart, they slowly meander through the aisles, occasionally looking at what’s on sale. Ryuji tosses in rainbow marshmallows, and after a moment, reluctantly puts it back.

“But you know,” he says eventually. “If someone was bothering the group, it’s not as if I’d just let it happen.”

She considers his answer. “You are tough,” she concludes. “But not scary.”

“Uh, yes,” he says, unsure. And then, with more conviction, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Got it. ‘Ryuji is tough, but other people are terrified of him.’ I will make a note of that.” He looks like he wants to say something, but she keeps going. “Synonyms for ‘tough’: robust, stalwart, and strong. Would you say that’s accurate?”

He laughs, disbelieving. “No idea what the first two meant, but the third one isn’t right.”

“Why not? You can fight Shadows. Your muscle ratio is high. One time, when Futaba couldn’t unscrew her water bottle, you did it with no problem.”

“Because, Sophia,” Ryuji picks up gummy worms, and turns to her with pleading eyes. When she shakes her head, he puts it back on the shelf with a grimace. “Strength isn’t always about muscles and who can kill what. It’s more than that.”

It seems as though he doesn’t want to speak about this anymore, but the topic is too interesting to stop here. “Explain, please.”

“It’s...it’s like mental strength,” he says begrudgingly. “Like if someone failed an exam they studied real hard for, mental strength would help them get through a tough situation like that. Like Akira.”

“Akira has high mental strength?”

“Oh, the highest out of all of us without a doubt. The world could explode and he’d be all—” Ryuji lowers his voice by an octave. “‘Here’s what we can do,’ and then fix it somehow. That’s just the kind of guy he is. All plans and no fear.”

All plans and no fear is a good way of describing Joker. “And you aren’t like that?”

“No way. Have you ever seen me have a plan in my life? I’m more of an ‘act before I can talk myself out of it’ person. Usually works out fine in the end. Besides, he does it enough for the both of us.” His eyes light up. “Do you think if I get the panda bandages, it would work better in the Metaverse? Cause of the brain stuff?”

“I think so, as long as it makes people think it works better.”

“Great.” Ryuji tosses it in with the rest. “And I think we got everything! Let’s head out. If we’re lucky, we can grab some ice cream before we meet up with the rest of them.”

“Good job! But you may want to consider removing the orange soda. Makoto is already unhappy with how much junk food you are always eating.”

“Fine. I’m keeping the cactus though.”

It was only when they’re all sleeping back in the RV when she realizes that she never got to ask him her actual question. Actually, she ended up with even more questions than when she began.

Maybe she’ll have better luck asking Akira instead.

—

They, or rather Akira, have their knees buried in a patch of grass in the middle of Sapporo with a small pile of four-leaf clovers by his ankles when she decides it would be appropriate to ask him.

“Akira, can I ask—” she pauses, and tries again. “I have a question.”

His face is so close to the ground that even the dirt would realize that his glasses don’t have prescription, and people are shooting him worried looks that he completely ignores. “Shoot.”

“Actually, I have many questions, and I’m hoping you’ll answer all of them as honestly as you can in order to have the most accurate data possible.”

“Research?”

More often than not, Akira has been giving her information about the world that she does not have access to. Slang terms that Futaba yells out in frustration, Ann’s tendency to jump from one topic to the next with little regard to who she’s talking to. It’s all confusing to Sophia, so she makes sure to memorize all of these instances and bring it to him for clarification.

“Sort of,” she says. “Some of my predictions have been off lately, and I am trying to figure out why.”

“Sure. Oh, another one.” Gently, he plucks it from the soil and gently places it with the others. “For Haru. Apparently, she’s really struggling with economics, so hopefully this helps her out next semester.”

“How many more?”

“Four,” he replies. “Yusuke, Sojiro, Akane, and Ryuji.”

She frowns. “Ryuji already has one.”

“He’s going to need more than one.” Akira turns to her, distressed. “Entrance exams are coming up.”

“Oh.”

“Yup,” he turns back to his task. “Anyway, you had a question?”

“Right,” she says, clearing her throat: a sign of taking a more serious tone. “Why are you scared of Ryuji?”

Akira freezes. Sophia waits patiently. But after a moment, then two, then five, there is still no reaction from him. And then slowly, he faces her with a blank expression.

She has not known Kurusu Akira for very long—only a few weeks in fact. But in that time, she feels that she has come to learn a lot about him. For instance, he does not like pears. He also finds grocery shopping relaxing, and he would die for his friends. Another thing she has learned from him is that he is very quiet; even in the Metaverse, amidst the explosions and gunshots, he does not yell. It is not as if he has nothing to say, but rather he would rather express himself through gestures and the odd comment here and there. He is much happier to let the people around him carry the conversation for him.

Shock racks through her as he bursts out laughing. His shoulders move up and down as laughs pour out of him uncontrollably. “What—?” he tries, pushing his glasses atop his head. It’s almost hidden amongst his thick, black locks. “Did you seriously ask if I was afraid of Ryuji? Sakamoto Ryuji? Blond guy, helps out in the Metaverse? My best friend?”

“Um.” This was not what she was expecting, despite having no expectations to begin with. “Yes.”

He sighs, content. “I really have to thank you, Sophia.” Akira brings his glasses back to his nose, the corners of his mouth quirked up. “That was really good. Haven’t laughed that hard since Yusuke thought Italy was near Mexico.”

She tilts her head sideways. “I was not joking.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He sits up, crossing his legs over each other, giving her his full attention. “Tell me why you thought I was scared of him.” Even as he’s sobered up, he can’t quite finish the sentence without smiling.

“My predictions have been off lately,” she says, a wrinkle between her brows. “This is normal—predictions by their nature cannot always be right. However, I’ve noticed that they’re incorrect more often lately. I ran the data, and these errors are related to two things:” Sophia brings her hand to the screen so that he can see properly. “You and him, as a unit. Individually, there doesn’t seem to be any errors. It is specifically when you are being measured together that creates mistakes. My prognosis on everyone else in the group creates more stable and accurate results.”

Sophia twists her hair in her hands. “The only reason it would be wrong is because of a confounding variable. Maybe there’s something between the two of you that others do not have. So I thought that answer—”

“Was fear,” he finishes. There’s an odd tone in his voice that she doesn’t comprehend. His gray eyes, sharp but never unkind. “I see where you’re coming from. But, and I can swear on this fact—it isn’t fear. I am not, nor will I ever be, afraid of him.”

She deflates. Wrong again. “And he’s not afraid of you?” she asks, out of desperation than anything.

Akira thinks for a moment. “Do you remember when I was cooking, and Ryuji went in to smell the broth, and knocked the whole thing over and onto my suitcase?” She nods. She had taken many pictures of that moment. “He felt really guilty, but he wasn’t scared of my reaction. He was more scared that he had ruined my stuff. You know what I mean?”

“I think I do.”

He bops the top of his phone a few times, an odd resemblance of patting her head. “Cool.”

Sophia stares at the road past their garden of clovers. Cars speed forward, too quick for her to focus on what the driver looks like. It’s hot today, but she doesn’t feel it. She runs her data one more time. “Akira, do you love Ryuji?”

His hands do not pause. “I love all my friends,” he answers simply.

—

At the end of the day, it does not matter if her attempts at predicting the future are fruitless. If she is in fact humanity’s companion, her code makes sure of one thing above all else: to help humanity with any of their endeavors.

That’s a tall order, especially when there are 7,874,965,825 humans within that humanity at this moment. Sophia is only one being, and realism is etched into her. To make things simple, she gave herself a domain of discourse. A sample size. Narrowing what she can do, and who she can help. The entirety of humanity then, at least in Sophia’s mind, falls under the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

Sapporo is freezing. Frosty. Crisp. Chilly.

“Fucking cold!” Ryuji shivers, jogging around them in an effort to get warm. “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.”

“Even with the space heaters on, it seems that the winter isn’t interested in going anywhere,” Makoto says. She’s standing uncomfortably close to Ann, trying to leech off of her inherent heat. Actually, she wasn’t the only one—Haru is also inching her way to her. “It should probably get better once we start moving. Good thing we won’t be here long.”

Yusuke nods, unperturbed. “Yes, this should be a quick run. We’re just here to collect a desire gone astray, yes?” It seems that the ice does little to bother him. “Oracle, can you find its location?” No response. “Oracle?”

He glances to the ground, sighing when he finds her on the ground, eyes closed and breathing deeply. “Wake up,” he says, nudging her with his boot. When she doesn’t move, Yusuke throws an exasperated look at Akira.

Reluctantly, he nods. “Yeah, yeah, I got her,” he says, summoning Queen Mab. Instantly, the temperature seems to rise, just a little bit. Scooping her up, Akira shakes her roughly like a particularly malicious sack of flour. “Wake up, your space heater’s here.”

“This may be a quick run,” Haru says. “But it doesn’t mean we should take this any less seriously. Someone’s desire got lost on its way back, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, that sounds—Mona, get off my leg—about right.” Ann squints her eyes along the horizon. “It’s far, right? If we start moving now, we can probably work off the frost on our skin.”

“Yeah, it’s about…” Futaba yawns as Akira sets her on her feet. “Twenty-minute walk? Ten-minute run, but unless you want me slipping and turning the ice red, we’re gonna want to slow down.”

Akira touches his mask. “Agi.” A wave of heat rushes over them, and she sighs, grateful for the respite. “Hopefully that helped a little. But it won’t last long, and we shouldn’t waste energy warming up. Quick recap—someone lost their desire, we’re here to make sure it gets back. Our top priority is getting that desire back as quick as possible. Questions?”

Sophia raises her hand.

“Yup?”

“Did you say top priority?”

“Yes, I did say top priority.”

“Understood!” she chirps, making a note in her head. It was hard to concentrate when she felt like her insides were freezing up.

Another hand shoots up.

“Noir?”

“I don’t have a question. I just think you’re doing a wonderful job.”

“Thank you, Noir. Always a pleasure.” He looks around, nodding. “Alright. If that’s it, then let’s do this thing.”

They all move ahead, wary of their footing. Sophia frowns as she scuttles forward, scared of being left behind. There is no room for error here. If she feels that she is not useful in the real world, then she can at least utilize her talents here. And the first step to doing that is to make sure she is doing two things:

1) Not slow

2) Won’t trip

After a while, she looks up and feels her eyes bulge. How did they get so far already? Sophia can hardly see them anymore, especially with the slight fog that’s beginning to emerge. She has to get there faster.

Failed step number one already. For once, she’s glad she wasn’t hardcoded with emotions, or else humiliation would be overwhelming. Quickening her pace, she’s determined to do this correctly. One foot, then the next. One foot, then the next. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left—

She slips.

With a gasp, she moves to twist her body so that it wasn’t her head that would take the impact, and closes her eyes shut.

Just before she slams into the ice, arms grab her torso, swinging her forward. “Whoa there, shorty!”

Ryuji uses the momentum to swing her onto his back, and she latches around her neck, bewildered. “You okay? Almost got knocked out before any Shadow got to us.”

“Yes,” she replies, breathless. “Thank you for saving me. That would have been bad.”

“No prob!” he marches onward as if he wasn’t carrying an entire human being on his back while treading through sleet.

“...You can settle me down if you’d like.”

“I would not like.” He grins, boots finding matte ice with ease. “I kinda love carrying you like this. Not like I can do this in the real world, can I? ‘Sides, Futaba would chew my head off if I tried it with her.”

“Have you?”

“Maybe.”

She laughs as they finally reconvene with the rest of them. When Akira turns to them, his expression softens with relief. “All good?”

“All good,” Ryuji says. “Nothing Sophie and I can’t handle.” He raises his fist at her, and she bumps it enthusiastically. Lesson twenty-three: never refuse a fist-bump. It’s one of her favorites.

“Stop, stop, stop, stop!” Futaba calls out from beside Ann, arms were linked as if they were strolling through a park, and not a Shadow-infested land. “I said stop!”

“We heard you the first time!” Morgana yowls. “Are we here?”

“We’re close. Kinda weird though.” She smacks the side of her goggles a few times impatiently. “Nothing’s showing up.”

“Lucky!” Ann whoops. “Let’s get this over with and get some gelato!”

Rounding the corner of an empty street, Yusuke points forward to a glowing heart, beating in time to its pulsing light. “That’s it, I take it?”

“I can get it.” Sophia pats Ryuji’s shoulder, and he lets her down. “That way, we can finish this as soon as possible.”

She runs forward, eager.

“Wait—!” Futaba cries out from behind her. “We’re getting ambushed!”

As she says it, footsteps surround them, the clanging of weapons and the grunts of Shadows appearing out of nowhere. She starts to run faster, terrified of slipping but pushes on anyway. She can do this.

“Shit,” Akira hisses. “Sophie, come back here!”

Sophia ignores him, the Desire almost in her reach when she feels it. A cold breeze, impossibly colder than the temperature before, almost seems to pierce through her skin. She did not need to turn around to know what it was—every cell in her body is screaming it for her.

A curse. A strong one that would have no problem wiping her out like fly on the RV’s windshield wiper.

Would she at least be able to save the Desire? Even if she ceases to exist? Would it be worth it then? It should be, since this is what she was made for.

Something solid shoves her from behind, and she gives out a yell before hitting the ground, hard.

“What…?” she mutters, disoriented. Somehow, she isn’t dead, or even near death. Shaking her head, she grasps for the Desire in front of her before turning around.

Instantly, her heart stops. The Desire in her hand continues to pulse steadily as she stares down at Ryuji, collapsed on the ground.

“Skull?” she whispers. Leaning down, she can still hear his breathing, though it’s faint. Her hand reaches out, before she remembers. Top priority. The Desire needs to get to Joker first.

The ground begins to rumble, and Sophia looks up in time to see an arch of glowing white explode. Every Shadow is eviscerated, their ashes scattering violently at the aftershock of wind that follows from the impact. Concrete cracks, snow blows away. Without a doubt, it’s an attack from a Persona user, but she has no idea who it came from.

As the dust settles, stray bits of ice falling from the sky like hail, Akira shoots out from the fog. He’s moving faster than she’s ever seen him, and there’s a desperation to his movements that throws her off-guard. Maybe he didn’t see yet? Sophia steps forward.

“Joker!” she calls out when he gets closer, thrusting her hand forward. “I got the Desire!”

He rushes past her without a blink.

Akira skids to his knees. “Ryuji!” When there’s no answer, he pulls Ryuji to his knees, resting his head on his lap. Akira presses his fingers against the pulse on his neck, concentrating intensely. Then he grits his teeth. “I can work with this.”

More footsteps. Familiar ones. “Dammit, Joker!” Morgana says. “You can’t just throw around attacks like that, especially with such weak enemies. You know how draining that spell is.”

He ignores him. Akira removes Ryuji’s mask with great care, setting it aside, before touching his own. “Aid me, Sarasvati.”

“Joker?” she tries.

A floating woman donned in green with a delicate instrument in her long fingertips appeared from the fibers of his mask, her expression kind and tender.

“Joker.”

Healing power flows through his hands, so potent that it glows green. Sweat pours from his brow, and his wrist begins to tremble with effort.

“Joker!”

“What, Sophie?” he rounds on her, gray eyes intense.

“I got the Desire!” she announces triumphantly.

A beat passes. And then another. It was as if there was never even a deafening battle not one minute prior.

When Akira finally speaks, his voice is low. “Panther, take Sophie away please.”

Her breathing stops. She could not inhale the air even if it was demanded of her. Akira turns back to Ryuji, but Sophia’s eyes stuck to him—like she was hypnotized, cemented to the back of his head, unable to look away. Every inch of her body is numb, but none of it has anything to do with the cold.

Ann gently takes her hand, hot as iron against hers, and takes the Desire in the other. “Come on, Soph. Let’s go for a walk, huh?”

She lets herself be led away, blank and unseeing, a part of her staying wishing to stay behind to...what? She didn’t know. There’s so much she doesn’t know.

They keep walking, rounding street corners, quietly passing underneath frozen lamp posts. Sophia wasn’t sure where they were going, but she didn’t bother to ask. Eventually, they duck underneath a railing, Ann covering her head to make sure she doesn’t accidentally bang her skull against the metal. When they straight up, she blinks.

“A heater?”

“Yeah,” Ann sighs, flopping down on a toppled column as if it were a sofa. “I figured if we were going to talk, you might as well stop shivering during that time.” At her words, Sophia realizes how hard she was shaking. Ann pats the spot beside her. “Sit. Nothing a little girl talk can’t fix.” She does.

At her silence, Ann hums. “Cold, isn’t it? You guys haven’t stopped complaining since we got here. I’m super lucky that Carmen’s here to help me. Warms me up even better than this heater, if you can imagine that. Completely different from the real world, where we feel like we’re going to burst into flames any second.” She yawns. “But god, there’s no one in all of Japan that can run his mouth about the weather like Ryuji.” Sophia clenches her fist, but she keeps going, speaking almost wistfully. “I mean, he’s just so loud, you know? Like, how many times have we driven by cows on this trip, and he’d literally wake us all up just to show us? Not to mention, he eats up all the food and snores like crazy. God, one time I invited everyone over at my place, and he just slept in my bed when he got tired! Who does that?”

Ann sighs. “But man, I’ve never met someone more devoted to his friends than him. Sometimes, he’d even give ‘Kira a run for his money, the way he’d just drop everything and run to where trouble is. Day or night, that idiot would show up on your doorstep the minute you shoot him a text, wearing the most ridiculous pajamas you’ve ever seen,” she scoffs. “He started the Thieves with Akira, you know? All gung ho about justice and stuff, you should’ve seen it. And he had the spine to back it up, too.” She smiles, just a little. “Don’t tell him, but I think he’s really, really cool.”

A drop of water hits Sophia’s wrist. And another. And another, until her vision blurs and her chest is heaving. “I just—” she sobs without restraint. “I was just trying to help. I just want to be useful and do what I was made to do, and Akira said from before that this—this was the top priority, and I even made sure, so I asked, but when I finally got the Desire and I was so sure that I’d finally done something right...” the image of Akira’s cold gaze makes her flinch, hard. “He’s just so mad at me, Ann. And Ryuji—” she chokes on his name like a curse, her tongue tumbling over it as if it were getting caught in a lie. “He protected me from before, but he said he was tough, so I thought it was okay since the Desire was the top priority but he got hurt because of me.”

“I don’t even know what I’m feeling, or why I’m crying, or why you’re being so nice to me even though I know I did something bad! I just—” Sophia buries her face in her hands, muffling her scream. “I just don’t understand anything!”

Warm hands rub her back. “I know,” Ann says quietly. “You’re trying your best. We all get that, and we all think you’re doing an A-plus job.” She pauses. “Sophia, Ryuji didn’t take the hit for you because he was thinking about the Desire. He did it because he didn’t want to see you hurt.”

That makes Sophia peek up. “But that was the top priority, wasn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, but that wasn’t his heart’s top priority.” Ann pokes her temple. “That whole logic and calculation thing you have going on is good and stuff, but the thing about the human heart is that you can’t always choose why you do things, or how you react in certain situations. I bet you anything that he totally forgot that we were even looking for this thing when he pushed you,” she waves the beating heart in her hand, still glowing. “And that’s also why Akira got a little mad at you from before.”

She deflates. “He hates me,” she mumbles, feeling her insides churn uncomfortably.

“That boy doesn’t have the time in his schedule to hate anyone,” Ann reassures her. “He’s just...really, really terrified.”

“But why?” Sophia’s starting to despise that word. “He already knew that he was okay. Why would he still be worried?”

Ann looks up, thinking. “You really love and care about Ryuji, right?”

Love was still a foreign concept to her, but for once the answer came forth with ease. “Yes.”

“Take that feeling, that dense, little ball of love and adoration in your tiny body, and multiply that by about eighteen million. That’s probably about the range of what Akira feels about him.”

She quickly runs the numbers. “Whoa.”

“Yeah. Kinda scary, huh?”

It is scary. With numbers this high, she can only begin to imagine what it felt like for Akira to think that he might be seriously hurt, or even worse, dead. All because of Sophia.

“Hey now, I know that look!” Ann flicks her forehead. “I don’t want you to get all mopey about this. You said it yourself—he’s a tough guy. The toughest there is, but don’t tell him that. It’ll go straight to his empty head.”

She stands with exuberance, stretching. “Alright, I think we’re about done here. How we feeling? You ready to go back?”

No. Her heart speeds up at the thought of going back, her shoulders tensing in on itself, but somehow it would be worse to stay here. “I’m ready.”

“That’s what we like to hear!” Ann cheers. “No chickening out now, okay? You can do this.”

“I can do this.” Sophia repeats, and then, louder: “I can do this!

“Yay! And Sophie?” she looks up in time to see Ann giving her a warm look. “Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean we love you any less. You are allowed to be confused and make mistakes. Do you understand that?”

Sophia smiles wide. “I understand.”

—

They were a block away from the rest of the group when Akira emerged from the fog. With his black attire and dark hair, he could have looked like a picturesque horror movie figure, but somehow his expression ruined that facade the moment she saw it.

“I’m going on ahead,” Ann says when Sophia stops in front of him. “Someone has to make sure Futaba doesn’t sleep on us again.”

“Thanks,” he answers. Then, to Sophia, “Hi.”

“Hi, Joker.” She’s been practicing her speech the entire way back, her points all lined up in her mind, all leading up to the big apology. “I—”

“Pause,” he cuts in, and she shrinks. Is he still mad? She can’t read his expression. He kneels in front of her, squinting, and it suddenly shifts to horror. “Did...did you cry? Did I make you cry?”

“No,” she says quickly, but he doesn’t believe her for even a minute. “Yes. Sorry.”

“Oh god, no, please don’t apologize. Shit,” he rubs the back of his neck, sighing. It’s guilt, she realizes with a shock. “I’m such an asshole. I can’t believe I let myself lash out like that. A thousand apologies won’t even be enough. I was scared out of my mind, but that doesn’t mean I can just treat you like that. I even sent you away, like you’re some sort of kid,” he winces. “I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me?”

She stares at him. “I was supposed to say that stuff.”

He looks taken aback by her words. “No? How could you have known that we would have been ambushed? Ugh, I’m so dumb. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” Akira sends her a pointed look. “Though, you really shouldn’t split off from the group next time. Top priority means important, but above all else is your safety. Put that in your code.”

“I will,” she promises.

“Good. And the second priority is—” he reaches forward and engulfs her in a tight hug. “Is that you won’t ever, ever think that I’d hate you.”

She frowns. “How did you know?”

“A hunch.” Beat. “Also, Ann gave me a look.” He pulls back. “Are we still friends?”

Relief washes into her, crashing like a wave. “Of course,” she says, before hesitating. “Is…?”

“Yeah, he is.” Akira rolls his eyes, but there is no hiding the grin that takes over him. “A little too good, actually. He hasn’t stopped running around since I poured some energy back into him. I kind of think I overdid it, actually. Oh, and he’s excited to see you again.”

“He is?” she asks, hopeful.

“Absolutely. Asked about you the minute he came to.” Akira gets to his feet. “Shall we say hi?”

“Please.”

As they walk back, an epiphany takes over her. “Oh!” she exclaims, making Akira jump. “I get it now.”

“What’s up?”

“You love Ryuji.”

“That’s right,” he raises a brow.

She shakes her head. “You love Ryuji,” she insists. Even accounting for a margin of error, there’s simply no mistaking her results.

Akira stares at her for a long moment, before huffing out a laugh.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he says softly.

The moment Ryuji sees her, she sprints, throwing caution to the wind as she leaps into his arms. He catches her without hesitation. “Glad to see you’re safe, shorty.”

Sophia knows a lot of things, but there’s also a lot she doesn’t understand. But that’s fine. She’ll get there, and her friends will be waiting for her when she does.

[tainted-wine]

Heroes (And a Villain) Handling a Laughably Unfit S/O

Headcanons I came up with while thinking about how pathetic I am during my daily workout routines.

Yagi Toshinori

It’s really impressive that you’re nearly as frail as him, and you don’t even have the excuse of fighting powerful villains and missing major organs.

He helped transform little Deku into a capable vessel for One For All. You shouldn’t be a problem! Don’t worry, he’s not gonna have you carrying heavy junk everyday. 

We’ve seen that Toshi still exercises, so now he’s going to drag you along on his daily jogs. No excuses. If his skeleton ass can do it, then so can you.

He’s sad about the state he’s in now, but he’s still going to do everything he can to stay relatively healthy, and so should you, dammit.

Exhausting yourselves but also motivating each other keeps both of your spirits up. 

He’s going to do what he can to rescue his lover from one of the greatest evils in the world: Physical Inactivity.

Toshi: Look at that, we reached the beach this time.

You: Are you serious? We only ran that far? Ugh, this is pitiful.

Toshi: It’s less pitiful than our last run. Good job.

You: You too :)

Shouta Aizawa

If Aizawa is going to help you, he’s not gonna half-ass it. Get ready to endure his personal workout plan. 

He tries to not look too disappointed when you collapse on the fifth push-up. He’s convinced that this is gonna be more tiresome for him than for you.

No, he is not going to let you screw up your schedule and take any breaks because you didn’t sleep well or your leg hurts. 

“Every morning, seven days a week. That’s all I’m asking for. Learn some discipline.”

Will make sure you’re fit enough to at least throw a basic punch and kick.

He’s gonna make you do shit like tumbling as well. Flexibility is important.

When you fall over because you managed to hurt your ankle during some jumping jacks, he just stares.

Aizawa: “You’re expelled.”

You: “Huh?? From what?”

Aizawa: “I don’t know. But you’re expelled.”

Yamada Hizashi

Hizashi is more like your personal cheerleader than a coach.

“GET PUMPED!!” is a playlist he made specially for you with music that should keep you more hyped than Rocky Balboa himself.

He’s gonna make sure you at least have enough stamina to keep up with him when you dance together.

“Hi I’m Present Mic and I’m your freestyle dance teacher.”

There’s nobody better than him when it comes to giving you full-body workouts while being super fun about it.

Your phone will buzz with voice messages. “HEEEY, my baby better be groovin’ right now! I hope you have the ‘Wiggle Wop’ memorized when I come back ‘cause I’ll be putting you to the test!”

tl;dr Hizashi is Zumba Fitness.

Hawks

When Hawks hears you say that you want to improve your cardio...

“Oh, so you think you should walk more? I guess you won’t be taking any more flights with me.”

Say goodbye to your living personal plane. He’ll encourage you to reach all of your destinations on foot or on a bike.

Of course, he won’t be around much, so he’ll keep a feather on you to keep track of your activity and wellbeing.

You’re about to say “screw this” and hail a cab during a tiring walk, only for the feather to suddenly come to life and attack you. The driver watches you squeal while the tiny flying object assaults your ribs and shoves you away from the car. He just shrugs and moves on to find a customer that isn’t dealing with...whatever’s happening to you.

Hawks: “You’ve gotta try this new food joint with me. It’s on the other side of town.”

You: “Sounds nice, just pick me up an-”

Hawks: “Nope.”

While you’re fuming and your stomach growls, Hawks discovers that it’s pretty nice to slow down and just walk with you. 

He doesn’t expect you to make the whole journey. Once you’ve exhausted yourself and worked up an appetite, he’ll scoop you up in his arms. Feels like he hasn’t done that in forever!

Taishiro Toyomitsu

Taishiro will be there to keep an eye on your diet as well as your fitness.

As a guy who’s always fattening himself up, he knows which foods cause the most weight gain and health issues.

Now Tai doesn’t believe in eating meals so light that you’re practically starving yourself. “That’s just gonna make ya crave the bad stuff even more!”

He’ll make sure you’re burning those delicious calories and carbs instead of sitting around and letting it all turn into fat. 

Sure, his quirk sounds great right about now, but at least you’re not always hungry like him. That’s not easy on the wallet!

He can recommend a lot of places for healthier eating. You’ll even get plenty of discounts thanks to his reputation among restaurants. “Just tell them Fatgum sent you!”

He personally prefers weight training, but you’re always welcome to try something less strenuous around him.

Hey look, Kirishima and Amajiki are here too!

You: Doesn’t Amajiki eat a wide variety of stuff? What keeps him thin?

Fatgum: Stress.

Kirishima: Stress.

Amajiki: A lot of stress.

Tomura Shigaraki

Shiggy doesn’t care.

Or at least, he didn’t. Until he watched you play an active video game and you said that your arms were tired. It hasn’t even been thirty minutes.

Fuck that. If you’re gonna have the audacity to ask him to stop his rpg grinding so that you can play Wii Sports together, at least last long enough for him to enjoy himself. Didn’t mean to make that last part sound suggestive.

“For god’s sake. Do some arm rolls or something.”

Besides, exercise sharpens your brain to perform better during gaming. He always feels ready to face the hardest boss after killing people. Murder really gets the blood pumping.

He tosses you an old dance mat so that you can get your DDR on.

Once your stamina and strength is maxed out, he makes you play with him again. And look at that, your mind is clear enough to properly strategize now!

Shigaraki: Not bad.

You: Thanks. So...can we play bowling now?”

Shigaraki: “......Fine.”

[haos-the-tea]

Title: Better Than You Pairing: Mingyu x Fem!Reader x Wonwoo Rating: 18+ Warnings: Language, angst, low self image, sub boy, oral (male and female receiving), Face riding, Sexual praise, Degradation, Choking (male receiving), Over stimulation (male receiving), Voyeurism, Pegging, Edging, Light bondage. WC: 9.3K+

A/N: so this started out as just a means to write hate smut for Mingyu and then evolved into this. IDK how that happened. I also didn’t bother to edit this, so enjoy this first draft nonsense lol.

You didn’t hate your job. You really didn’t. Or, at least that was what you kept telling yourself so that you could get through this hell of a shift. Saturdays were always the absolute worst, the restaurant was crowded and it was always so loud, and orders came out almost as soon as you picked up the previous ones. It was hectic, but it was even worse when you were understaffed. 

“Thank you so much, that order will be out in just a few minutes.” You said, fake smile plastered onto your face as you bid farewell to a table that wasn’t a part of your section. Stalking through the restaurant your smile dropping as you did so, you found the cause of your troubles standing in the kitchen, chatting it up with one of the chefs while the chef worked.

“Kim Mingyu!” You exclaimed, using the noise of the kitchen to cover your shout. He turned to face you and you could see his eyes rolling when he realized just who was calling him.

It was an unspoken fact that you and Mingyu...did not get along. You boss generally made sure to try and schedule the two of you on different days, but that was getting harder and harder

when people kept asking for days off. Which is...fine, you just really hate working with Mingyu. Judging by the look on his face, the feeling was mutual.

“Dude, I just had to take A5’s order because they’d been in your section for twenty minutes and all you’d done was get them drinks! What the hell, man!” You complained, glaring up at the abnormally tall server. He simply rolled his eyes, glancing back over at the chef and bidding him farewell before brushing past you and making sure that he bumped your shoulder as he did.

“Lay off it, you’re not even a manager yet you’re so high strung. Just chill out, it’s not like they’re going to die if I don’t get them soon.” His response was typical, and honestly you were starting to wonder how he still had a job with how much he slacked off.

Turning on your heel you followed him as he made his way into the empty breakroom in an attempt to get away from your lecture.

“I’d be ‘chill’ if I didn’t always have to cover both my section and your section when we worked together. Why can’t you just do your fucking job?” You complained, eyes boring holes into the back of his head as he pulled his phone out of his locker. Mindlessly scrolling it for a moment, before he turned to look back at you with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Order up!” Could be heard in the distance, over the sound of your pounding heart.

“Well, I guess you better go grab that if you’re working both of our jobs.” Before turning back to his phone and laughing at something on the handheld device.

God you hope that you could keep from throttling the man, because you knew for a fact that you didn’t have bail money.

The night continued with Mingyu doing a minimal amount of his tasks, the only thing you were grateful for was that he at least wrapped his own silverware. You probably would have stabbed him with one of the unwrapped forks if he hadn’t. With a farewell to the rest of the staff and a harsh glare sent in Mingyu’s direction, you were finally able to leave around 12am.

During the drive home, all of the adrenaline from the shift seemed to fade away and leave you as an exhausted husk of a person. Your eyes threatened to drift shut even as you drove, forcing you to roll down your windows to scream sing out whatever song was playing from your phone in an attempt to keep awake. You just wanted this day to be over so you could enjoy your day off tomorrow and catch up on your school work, and so you didn’t have to see Kim Mingyu’s infuriating face.

He probably got away with so much shit just because he was tall and handsome, beautiful features seemed to get so many doors opened for people. Meanwhile, average people like yourself seemed to be overlooked and ignored, having to work twice as hard for something handed to those types of people on silver platters. It was probably the only reason Mingyu still had a job, considering your boss fancied him. It was pathetic how much she fawned over him, and he seemed to just soak up all the praise and attention. Your grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles going white as you thought about the situation.

The tension sat with you until you unlocked the door to your apartment and smelt the wonderful aroma that told you that your roommate had waited up for you. Slipping your shoes off and placing your keys on their hanger, you made your way into the small kitchen.

“Nunu!” You exclaimed as your eyes landed on the male. His thick brown hair was sticking up in all different directions, which told you he had gotten a good nap in before you came home but that he had woken up to make dinner. He pushed up his thick rimmed glasses as he glanced over at you, a small tired smile on his face.

“Welcome home.” he muttered before returning his gaze back to the food he had just plated, picking them up and dropping them off at the table before looking back over at you. “Go change and come eat.”

You gave him a mock salute before doing as instructed. Swapping your work pants and polo shirt for some sleep shorts and a tank top, it had a tendency to get rather hot in your apartment at night even if you had the AC on. When you returned to the kitchen, Wonwoo seemed a bit more awake than before and was scrolling through some website on his phone as he ate. You quickly joined, scarfing down your food.

“How was work?”

With that single question, your expression dropped mid bite. All the irritation flooding back into your system causing you to aggressively stab the next bit of food that you were wanting to eat before beginning your rant.

“So you know that dick bag at work?”

“The really tall hot one?”

“Yeah, that jackass.” You went into extreme detail about the night, fury filling your voice as you spoke.

“Can you believe him!?” You exclaimed, shoveling the last bit off your dinner into your mouth as you heard Wonwoo sigh. He always told you that you needed to quit if this guy was as bad as you said he was and none of the higher ups would do anything about it.

“Sorry Nunu, Didn’t mean to yell...Fuck, how was your day dude?” You stood, taking your plate over to the sink and setting it down. You’d get to those tomorrow, you were too tired to do them tonight.

“Eh, not much different than normal.” He muttered, joining you at the sink. There was a brief pause before he turned to you. “My...my boyfriend is going to come visit tomorrow. He said he wants to meet you, and I mean you’re my best friend so…”

“Oh! Really? Ah, I’ll make dinner tomorrow night then so that you guys can hang out beforehand!” Wonwoo seemed to be appreciative of it as he wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into a tight hug. The affection caused your heart to soar, wrapping your arms around his neck as he rested his head on your shoulder “I’ll even clean up around the apartment while you’re at work.”

You felt your breath hitch in your throat as his hands lowered to firmly grip your ass. So that was how tonight was going to be. You knew that he had told his (currently unnamed) boyfriend about your little...sexcapades, and apparently the guy didn’t mind. It wasn’t like you and Wonwoo had legit feelings for each other...or at least, Wonwoo didn’t have feelings for you. Your feelings were still up in the air, but you would never tell him that.

“You sure your man is still okay with us doing...this?” You questioned, one hand slipped into his soft brown tresses as you whispered into his ear. Gently nibbling on the lobe of his ear. His response was simply to hike one of your legs up around his waist, bucking his hips forward into your heat. The action caused a soft moan to slip out of your lips, after the stress of today you wouldn’t mind having a round of fun. But Wonwoo seemed to need a reminder of the rules.

“Nunu, baby. I need you to use your words.” You instructed, gently stroking his hair as he gave your thigh a firm squeeze. When the two of you first hooked up like this, you would have never expected any kind of submissive side to him and yet looks could be deceiving. He let out a soft groan at the pet name before listening to your instructions.

“He...he thinks it’s fine.” He muttered into the shell of your neck, nipping lightly as he spoke. “It’s why he wants to meet you.” If you were being honest, you were a little more than surprised at that. You figured that your roommates boyfriend would be less than excited to meet someone who has been fucking their significat other with no strings attached for...multiple years.

“Oh he does? Is he just as dirty as you?” As you spoke, your free hand slid down to his pants to the prominent bulge that was hidden underneath the thin grey sweatpants. You would probably never get over just how large Wonwoo was, it was almost ridiculous. “Does he like that you get fucked by me? Or do you tell him that you’re in charge?”

Your grip had Wonwoo groaning before biting into the flesh of your neck, causing you to let out a loud moan at the sensation. As he let go, you pulled yourself away letting both of your feet return to the floor before turning the tables. You pushed Wonwoo back against the counter top, cornering him. One of your legs rested between his own, and you lifted that leg to press against the growing problem in his pants.

“Answer me Wonwoo.”

“No, he knows you’re in charge.” He told, squirming to try and get a bit more friction to his aching cock. You always liked making him needy, it was such a stark contrast to his normal day to day attitude. So seeing him like this was intoxicating for you.

Since he answered you so honestly, you decided to give him a bit more. Slowly, you pushed his sweatpants down his legs, your fingers gently clawing at the skin of his thighs as you did so. Once those were out of the way, you were pleasantly surprised to find that he had decided to forgo his usual boxers this evening. Leaving his thick cock on display for you.

“Oh, Nunu were you planning this?” You knelt down on the kitchen floor, leaning forward to give a small teasing kiss to the tip of his massive dick. “Did you make dinner for me, just so I’d fuck you against the countertops, while we talk about your boyfriend?”

You couldn’t stop yourself from taking the tip in your mouth, gently sucking on the tender skin as your tongue lapped up the drips of pre-cum from him. Your eyes never leaving his face as you worked, watching as he threw his head back and groaned. His hands gripped the counter’s edge so harshly his knuckles seemed to be turning white.

“Y-yeah,” he breathed out, the sound of it all so sickeningly seductive. “I did. I wanted...fuck I wanted it so bad.” he groaned out, bucking his hips up in an attempt to get you to take more of him. You gripped his hip firmly, pushing them back against the counter and successfully thwarting his attempts. The confession had you clenching around nothing as you pulled away from his dick with a loud pop.

“Oh Nunu, baby Nunu. You know all you have to do is ask. I’m always willing to make time for my good little boy.” Only he wasn’t yours, he had a boyfriend. You were just someone he got fucked by on the side, or well...who fucked him on the side. Despite the melancholy that thought brought to you, you kept up your role and gave a teasing lick to his length. “Does he ever take control, or is my poor little Nunu always domming when he just wants to be dicked down?”

The question along with the actions from your tongue had the male letting out small whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut as you took him into your mouth once more. Once again his hips thrashed forward, only being stopped by your hands as you grip him tightly.

You had been told previously all about Wonwoo’s sexual relations with his boyfriend, another thing that this mysterious man seemed to have no issue with. Once Wonwoo even confessed this boyfriend of his found it ‘hot’ that Wonwoo would tell you, which made you question just who your best friend was dating and how open this relationship would continue being.

“He doesn’t. Fuck fuck, i want it. Just like yo-you...just like you give it to me.” One thing you loved about Wonwoo was that his�� moans were never loud, but beathy and that was an entirely different type of sexy. As a reward for his honesty you continued your mistrations on his firm length, taking him further into your mouth and pumping what couldn’t fit with your hand.

“No, no fuck. I’ll..cum, I want inside.” His words slurred together and barely made sense as he spoke but you knew exactly what he wanted. So you pulled yourself off of his delicious dick, and despite that being what he asked for he still let out a soft yet insanely deep whine. Missing the contact despite knowing exactly what he wanted.

You quickly slipped your sleep shorts from your frame, letting them drop to the floor. Wonwoo’s eyes watched you hungrily, waiting for you to follow through with his request only for you to flash a devilish grin at him.

“Catch.” Was all the warning he got, but the two of you had played this game before and he knew exactly what to do. Your feet were soon off the ground and wrapped around his waist, the tip of his cock prodding your entrance as he held you up. With practiced ease he turned and let your ass rest on the cold clean countertops, causing your frame to shiver at the temperature difference.

You trust your hips forward, rubbing his length against your folds and letting out a groan as you did so. He curled into you, waiting for permission. Soft pleading words slipped from his lips as he begged to be let in. Being just as needy, you decided to give in.

“Nunu, I want you to fuck me good okay?” Your voice was light and playful as your nails sunk into the skin of his back, prompting another low breathy groan from the male. “I want your boyfriend to be able to tell how good you fucke me, can you do that for me, baby boy?” He nodded against your shoulder as you gave him the final go ahead.

It was almost painful how slowly he entered you, filling you up completely while taking the most grueling pace ever. You knew what this was, his own little way of teasing you back. Sure Wonwoo enjoyed subbing and he was a very obedient sub but he was still a switch and things like this were how he made sure you knew that despite the position he took in your ‘relationship’.

“Fuck shit.” You groaned, throwing your head back and clenching around him as he bottomed out inside you. Despite how many time the two of you had sex, it always felt like the first time. You always felt impossibly full, and add him moaning in your ear into the mix and you swore you could come undone just from that. He started at an agonizingly slow pace, making sure to pull himself almost completely out of your before slamming back in. The feeling rocking you to your very core, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“God Nunu, you feel so fucking good.” You moaned out, “You fill me up so well baby, it’s like your dick was made for me.” Hearing your words seemed to spur him into a faster pace. His hands gripping your hips tightly as he slammed into you, there would surely be bruises there come tomorrow. You were once again finding another reason to be grateful that you were off work tomorrow.

“Fuck, your so tight.” He groaned, the husky low tones doing wonders to you. “Won’t last.” Was all he could bring out as his thrust grew more messy, less coordinated as he struggled to reach his high. One of his hands left your hips and found its way to your clit, gently massaging the small bundle of nerves as he continued his deep thrusts. It seemed like that was all you needed to be thrown off the edge

“Ah, fuck fuck, cum for me Wonwoo.”

And cum he did. You felt so full with just him, not bothering to worry about any kind of protection since you were on the pill. Your heart pounding a mile a minute as you leaned forward, resting your head on his shoulders. Three little words lingers on your lips, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say them. They weren’t your words to say...he wasn’t yours and he never would be.

***

Needless to say you were walking with a small limp the next day as you cleaned up around the house. Making sure to sanitize the kitchen countertops after your little...encounter there last night. Loud music blared through the apartment, you singing loudly along to the shitty songs about unrequited love. It was pathetic but at least it was a way to get the emotions out.

You had a few more hours before Wonwoo would be off work, and he boyfriend probably wouldn’t come over until after that so you weren’t all too concerned with your appearance at the moment, you’d probably wear something presentable and chit chat with the two for a bit before escaping to Joshua’s house. He knew about your stupid feelings and was willing to let you make an escape whenever you needed, he was a damn good friend.

To your surprise, a knock sounded through the apartment causing you to jump in shock. Grabbing your phone, you paused your music before returning the item to the kitchen table where it had been sitting. Grabbing the metal bat from beside the door, the two of you kept it there just in case of an intruder) you gripped the handle of the item before slowly pulling the door open. The sight that greeted you caused a rage to pool inside of your gut.

“Kim Mingyu, what the fuck are you doing at my apartment?” You seethed, glaring up at the male. A part of you was debating on just slamming the door back into his face, that would be pretty damn satisfying. Despite your irritation, he looked just as surprised as you felt.

“I’m here to visit my boyfriend and his roommate. But if you’re here, I must have the wrong place.” His words seemed to push everything into place and you were going to be sick. With how much Wonwoo had spoken about his boyfriend, he never mentioned the guy’s name...and the same went for you, you complained about your coworker on an almost daily basis but never mentioned that it was Kim Mingyu.

“Wonwoo? You’re here to see Wonwoo?” The words left your lips shakily, and you felt a rock sink into your gut. You prayed to whatever God was listening that he would deny it, say some other name, that he literally did get the wrong address and Wonwoo’s boyfriend wasn’t going to be your arch nemesis.

He nodded, he fucking nodded and it felt like everything was crashing around you. Not only was Kim Mingyu a hassle at work, but now you were finding out that he was dating the guy you were in love with. It was all too much.

“Well, you’re early. He doesn’t get off work until 6.” You muttered, opening the door to let him in despite the urge to leave him stranded outside until Wonwoo got home. You heard the door shut behind you, but couldn’t bring yourself to look back at him. Thinking about all the things Wonwoo had told you about the mysterious boyfriend, it was too much. Mingyu knew far too much about you now. Fuck now you would have to quit, there is no way he would keep that information secret now that he knew it was you fucking his boyfriend.

“Oh, I know. He said his roommate was going to make dinner, so I wanted to come over to help.” You flashed him a disgruntled look as he explained his reasoning for coming over so early. A sharp comment on the tip of your tongue as he slipped his shoes off and entered your abode as if it were his own. “Though, if I had known you were his roommate I probably would have stayed home.”

There it was, that smug smirk that you wanted to punch off of his face. A fire grew in your stomach and you stormed into the kitchen, determined to start and finish dinner as soon as possible. You weren’t going to stay here tonight, hoping Joshua wouldn’t mind you coming over earlier than expected.

“Well, lucky for you. I don’t need help, so you can just stand around and do nothing. You’re already pretty good at that.” Hearing the sound of his footsteps behind as you entered the kitchen, the small chuckle coming after it. Almost like he was mocking you, like he knew about your hidden feelings for Wonwoo, like he knew this was possibly the worst outcome for your evening. At this point, you just wanted to know why he seemed to enjoy pushing your buttons.

You swung open the door to the fridge and bent down to begin pulling out the items you would need to start the meal. You could feel his eyes on you as you traveling around the kitchen, pulling out bowls and spices, and it was infuriating.

“You know, you’re pretty hot when you’re angry,” His words caused you to practically choke on your own breath. “I wonder if that’s what gets Wonwoo off when you two fuck.” It was almost like he punched you in the gut. Of course, you knew that he knew but you definitely weren’t expecting him to just outright bring it up. Though you should have expected something as blunt as that from Kim Fucking Mingyu.

You placed the box of salt on the counter before turning to glare at Mingyu once more, only to find him almost directly behind you...much closer than he had been. Your mind flashed back to the night before, where you fucked Wonwoo in this very room, and now you were standing here talking to his boyfriend. You took a deep breath, swallowing your hesitation before continuing with your thought.

“Look, Wonwoo said you were cool with it. If it’s a problem then it stops, simple as that. I may hate your fucking guts but I’m not gonna keep fucking your boyfriend better than you do without your okay.”

That was...definitely the wrong thing to say but your anger got the better of you, your jealousy. It was a monster that was now fueling the previous wrath you had felt for the male. Before you could think about anything else to say, you felt yourself being forced back against the counter with his hands laying flat on either side of you, caging you in as he stared down with a dark look in his eye.

“See, I don’t think you do. I think you’re just a cocky, high strung, know-it-all who thinks she’s better than everyone else.” He muttered, his voice lowering into a range you had never heard before from the male. It sent a heat straight to your core, a heat you usually only felt around Wonwoo, this seemed to only fuel your anger. You quickly pushed your hands to his, rather firm, chest and shoved him backwards, hard enough to get him away from you but not hard enough to accidentally hurt him.

“And I think you’re a lazy jackass who hasn’t had to work a day in his life just because his perfect good looks have gotten him everything he could ever want.” You retorted, voice coming out almost as a growl. If a look could kill someone then Mingyu would have instantly caught fire from the heat of your gaze. Despite your anger, he still carried that smug grin on his face.

“Awe, you think I’m pretty? I mean, you’re right but it’s always nice to hear.”

“Fuck, you’re insuferable! Just shut up and leave me alone, so I can finish making this fucking dinner and then leave.” With that you turned back to the counter, furiously beginning your task as you tried to ignore the man who was currently plaguing your day.

“Make me.” Those two little words, you weren’t sure why but those two simple words seemed to throw your entire world into disarray. It was like a switch was flipped and you couldn’t stop the urge growing inside you, the urge to break him. You wanted him practically crying and begging for you, but...you couldn’t do that. Despite how much you hated him, this was still Wonwoo’s boyfriend and while he was okay with Wonwoo fooling around with you...you weren’t sure how Wonwoo would feel if you decided to humiliate his boyfriend. You gripped the bowl in front of you, trying your best to take a deep breath and stop yourself from doing the terrible things you were thinking of.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said make me. I thought that was like a trigger phrase for dom’s?” So he knew what he was doing, he knew it and was still being an ass. The switch broke, and all you could see was red. You turned back to face him, glowering up at him and your face flushed with an angry heat.

“What the hell are you trying to pull Kim Mingyu?” Your accusatory tone was harsh, even harsher than the tones you used at work. In fact, the only time you had really spoken like this to anyone was the one time Wonwoo had attempted to be a brat. You watched as a small shiver went up his spine, his eyes never leaving yours. His shit eating grin seemed to only grow as you took harsh steps towards him, causing him to back up until he was stopped by a wall. His back pressed firmly against it, but you refused to lift your arms and cage him in.

“Well, what if I told you I didn’t come over to help with dinner prep.”

“Color me surprised.” He ignored your sarcasm and continued.

“What if I said that Wonwoo wanted me to come here early, cause he wanted me to see how good he got it with you?” It almost seemed like he was determined to give you a heart attack today, there was no way Wonwoo would have said something like that. Right? As if he could sense the hesitation to believe his words, reached up and gently cupped your cheek with his.

“Or maybe, you’d rather I take control today?” Once again it seemed like he knew exactly how to push your buttons to rekindle the rage in your gut all over again. You reached up and gripped his wrist, yanking his hand away from you. Your earlier fervor returning, as you tightly clenched his wrist. The grip tight enough to show him just who was in charge here, but not tight enough to actually hurt him.

“Bad boys don’t get to be in control.”

“Bad Boy? Is that what we’re going with?”

“It’s better than me calling you a jackass. Which is the name i’d prefer to call you.”

Everything felt like a blur, soon you were pulling him towards you by his collar and slamming your lips onto his own. It was nothing like your kisses with Wonwoo which were full of passion, you filled this with as much anger as you could. You wanted him to feel your anger, your pain, you deserved that much if all you were going to be is a cock sleeve. A dom to get tossed back and forth between the couple. You weren’t sure if that was what Wonwoo was intending but, a part of you felt worthless in any aspect except sex so you might as well use what you’ve got.

Not bothering to break the heated kiss, full of teeth and tongue, you navigated Mingyu into the living room. Only then did you pull away, nipping at his bottom lip with your teeth as you did. He quickly went to bring his lips back to your own, but you decided to not let him get that pleasure and shoved him back onto the couch, his shirt riding up ever so slightly as he fell back onto the sofa that was much too small for him, let alone two people.

“We have rules here Mingyu, I know you have trouble following them at work but try not to be too much of a whore and break my rules. Got it?” He rolled his eyes as you began explaining, as if he were already planning on disobeying your very simple rules. “First is, we go by the color system. Got it?” He nodded. “The second is, you don’t cum until I tell you to.”

You might hate the male below you, but you weren’t going to do things he wasn’t comfortable with. You weren’t a terrible person, just an angry one. Despite these gratuitous warnings, Mingyu still seemed irritatingly smug.

“Wow, pretty weak rules. I doubt you could make me cum even if you tried.”

You were going to make him eat those words.

Which was probably why he was currently a groaning mess on your couch, hands bound behind his back and his jeans long discarded. In your hand was a small vibrator that you were just lightly pressing against his hard cock. He wasn’t as large as Wonwoo, width wise and was a bit shorter than him but it was still pretty impressive. You would never tell him that though.

He looked a mess, almost as if he was just about to hit his high. So you removed the toy, and listened to those beautiful whines escape his lips. He was in for a long ride if he thought this was the worst you were going to do to him.

“Awe, is the little whore upset I took his toy away?” Your tone mocking as you turned off the vibrator, waiting for his response to see just what you would do next. He seemed to be expecting something like this and grinned despite his heavy breathing.

“You’re little games aren’t doing shit. I think you’re just too scared to fuck me yourself.” Without hesitation you returned the vibrator to his dick, turning it onto its highest setting just so you could watch him squirm. He let out a loud gasp, throwing his head back against the couch cushions, his back arching off of the couch as he let out a sinful moan. Then it was over, you were once again pulling the toy away from him once again, giving a teasing lick to the silicone as he glared at you through hooded eyes. His breath coming out in small pants as he lost that high once more.

With a smug smirk of your own, you leaned forward your lips stopping right next to his ear. One of your hands reached down to slowly stroke his twitching member, you could practically feel how close he was.

“Oh I’m not scared, I just don’t want your trash dick inside me.” Much to your surprise you felt him tremble beneath you. So he liked being talked down to? That was good to know, you would definitely be using that to your advantage. It was a stark contrast from Wonwoo who lived for praise, you honestly thought Mingyu would be the same way.

“What makes you think I’d want your dick when I can fuck your boyfriend whenever I want? His massive cock fills me up so well, almost like he was made for me.” Your words were but a sinful whisper in his ear. Your teeth gently nipping at the lobe of his ear, pulling slightly as you spoke. The words plus your hand against his dick brought out another groan, almost like you had struck a match inside him. Before you could stop him, he pushed himself forward and sunk his teeth into the crook of your neck and you were almost certain that it was almost harsh enough to break the skin. A surprised yelp left your lips, mixing into a long moan at the feeling. Without even thinking about it, your grip on his dick tightened which seemed to be the exact reaction he was hoping for. The feeling pulling him over the edge as he released into your hand with a low guttural moan.

You pulled yourself away, staring at your jizz covered hand in feigned disgust.

“One simple rule, and you couldn’t even follow it. Wonwoo was right when he said you were fucking filthy.” You chastised, wiping your hand off on his naked thigh not giving him the pleasure of seeing you lick it off of your own skin. He hadn’t earned that.

“What’re you gonna do about it? Punish me?” The words left his lips just as your hand moved to wrap around his neck, squeezing the side lightly as to give him the choking sensation without actually putting him in potential danger.

“Whore, what’s your color?”

“Fuck, fuck green. So green, fuck.” Taking that response, you quickly tighten your grip which was followed by another strangled groan. You weren’t about to admit it, but he looked really hot like this. Underneath you, completely spent while still seeming to be gearing up for another round.

“Well then you better get comfortable, brat. Because you’ve really pissed me off now.” With every word your grip tightened just a bit more before you pulled away, ending the sentence. You turned your back to him for a moment, shoving off everything that had previously been on your coffee table before taking a seat on top of it, right in perfect view of Mingyu.

“If you even want me to think about putting your filthy dick inside of me, then you better not move. Got that?” You didn’t wait for his response as you pulled your shirt over your head, and quickly unclipped your bra, tossing both of the garments to the other side of the living room to be forgotten about. Without hesitation you began fondling your chest, tweaking your rapidly hardening nipples. Your eyes never left Mingyu, making sure he was paying attention and keeping still. A quick glance down at his lap and you could see his cock slowly starting to harden once more at the sight before him. His tongue slipped out of his mouth to lick his lips, eyes not leaving your chest as you fondled yourself.

While one hand continued to fondle your breasts, your other slid down to tease the waste of your shorts.

“Tell me what you want you little whore, maybe I’ll give it to you if you ask nicely enough.” In truth, you had no intention of giving him anything just yet but dangling his wants in front of his face would be so sweet a punishment. One he deserved for breaking your rules.

“Let me fuck you, I know you want it too. I’ve seen how you keep watching my cock, almost drooling aren’t you baby girl.” Instantly at his words, you stopped touching yourself and stood from the table. Without a word you made your way out of the living room and down the hallway, ignoring as he called out to you. To your surprise though, he was still in the same spot on the couch when you returned with what you had got to grab. A soft silk tie, black in color and well used.

You grabbed the previously discarded vibrator and returned it to its former position pressed against his cock and used the tie to keep it held there without the need for your hands before you turned it onto the lowest setting possible. Still sweet but enough to drive him crazy. Then you proceeded to push him back down into a lying position before stripping yourself of your shorts and underwear, tossing them into the ever growing pile of clothing.

“If you’re going to keep talking back, I might as well put your disgusting mouth to good use.” You said, swinging your leg over him so that you were now straddling his face. Your dripping pussy resting just above his face. “Get to work, bitch.”

He groaned out, loving the treatment you were giving him before he latched his lips to your wet sex, tongue lapping up whatever liquid he could as if this were his last meal. It was honestly really fucking sexy. You couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a soft breathy moan, which only seemed to encourage the male below you.

As another mewl left your lips you heard the sound of the front door being opened, and the distinct voice of Wonwoo calling out that he was home. Your heart almost stopped, you weren’t sure if you were excited for Wonwoo to discover the two of you or terrified. Mingyu didn’t seem bothered by it, not even really acknowledging his boyfriend’s voice as he continued to devour your pussy. His tongue gave a particularly pleasing swipe just as Wonwoo entered the living room.

Your eyes met his brown ones and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he saw the compromising position the two of you were in. For a moment, you were concerned that Mingyu had lied and that Wonwoo would be upset. The relief that filled your body as he quickly closed the distance, leaning over the couch and pulling you into a deep kiss. If it was possible the kiss was almost better than the attacks to your lower region, if only because it was from Wonwoo. When he pulled away he let his forehead press against your own.

“I see you guys couldn’t be bothered to wait for me…” He didn’t sound upset at all though, almost as if he were hoping to catch the two of you in the act. You reached up and took a handful of his beautiful brown tresses into your grip, pulling ever so slightly as you ground your pelvis against Mingyu’s face.

“This little whore needed to be taught a lesson, Nunu. You’re boyfriend’s such a disgusting boy, so selfish.” Your words could barely come out as you felt your high coming closer and closer. Mingyu was in fact, pretty damn good with his mouth. You weren’t about to come undone yet though, so you released Wonwoo from your grip and pushed Mingyu’s head away from you. The action was met with a pitiful whine from the infuriating male.

“Oh shut up, you don’t deserve to make me cum. You’ve been nothing but a whiney, needy bitch. Like a dog in heat.” You watched him tremble as your words went straight to his dick, the vibrations from the toy doing just enough to keep him needy but not enough to get him too close to cumming again.

“You like that, being a little dog? Fucking sick, this little dog just wants a hole to fuck.” You reached down and gripped his cheeks in your hand, pushing your face just close enough for you to bite his lip before pulling away.

Your attention turned fully to Wonwoo, a small grin on his face.

“Nunu, can you show this dirty dog how to be a good boy?” A request the male was all too quick to comply with. At your instructions he stripped down under the watchful eyes of both yourself and Mingyu.

“Now i want you to sit on the table, right here. Don’t touch yourself until I get back.” You ordered, and Wonwoo nodded. As obedient as always. You glanced back at Mingyu, arms still tied behind his back, dick looking almost painfully hard and your slick covering his lips. Letting out a small chuckle before leaving the living room once more only this time on much shakier legs.

As you dug through your toybox you could hear the distinct voice of Mingyu.

“Come one Wonwoo, you should touch yourself. Don’t you wanna make her mad?” He was trying to sound in control but you could tell the over stimulation was getting to him. His words were pitchy, and he seemed to be trying to catch his breath as he egged on his boyfriend. Oh he was going to regret that.

“Not really,” Was Wonwoo’s reply. “She’ll keep you on edge for hours if you keep this up, Gyu.” The male scoffed, only his scoff came out more as a moan than anything else. You couldn’t see what he was doing but you could hear the distinct sound of the creaking couch to give away that he was in fact moving despite your instructions. Another strike.

“S-She...she’s not so tough.” Left his lips as you returned to the room, strap on in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other. You could see Wonwoo’s eyes light up as he recognized the item, which just so happened to be his favorite of the strap ons that you owned. Keeping yourself behind the couch so that you obscured Mingyu’s vision of you until you had the extension snuggly strapped onto yourself.

Being the good boy he was, Wonwoo scooted himself to the edge of the table and leaned back on his hands as he waited for you. You stopped just in front of him, squeezing a nice amount of lube into your open palm and began coating the strap on, stroking the silicone toy as Wonwoo and Mingyu hungrily watched.

“Color?”

You question was followed by both men giving green, giving you the go ahead to continue. Kneeling forward, you pushed Wonwoo’s legs apart and he was more than willing to let you. His hand stayed pressed firmly against the hardwood of the coffee table, his fingers twitching slightly as he did his best to not touch himself or you until he got the go ahead. The order never came though, this was about putting on a show for Mingyu and that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You slowly prodded a lube covered finger at his ass, teasing the hole a bit before entering to begin preparing him for the much larger dildo. Once again the apartment was filled with your favorite sounds, his low breathy moans. Only this time they were accompanied by the almost whining coming from Mingyu as he lay helpless on the couch.

“See Mingyu? This is what good little boys get. Isn’t that right Nunu?” Your question was followed by a few soft teasing nips at his thigh, and another finger entering his tight hole. His moans were breathtaking to listen to, it filled you with confidence that you couldn’t describe. Your own core was practically throbbing, you had no idea you would enjoy being watched like this.

Your other hand reached up, taking Wonwoo’s massive cock and slowly pumping it just as you had done to Mingyu’s before this. The whimpers that left his lips as Mingyu squirming from his spot on the couch, desperate to be touched by something more than the vibrator that was still lightly buzzing. After a few more pumps of your hand, you removed the fingers and positioned yourself in front of the entrance.

“God, yes please please fuck me.” Wonwoo was practically begging at this point.

“Anything for my good boy.” Slowly, you pushed your hips forward to sink the thick black silicone dick inside of Wonwoo’s ass. You took a second to let him get adjusted, and to just watch him whimper below you, his back arching and his eyes screwed shut as he begged for you to move.  Which you gladly complied with.

“You’re always so good for me Nunu, my perfect boy.” You praised as you thrust into his ass, taking quick thrust just the way he liked it. Pulling out almost completely before harshly snapping your hips forward, making sure to stroke his cock in time with your trusts. The actions had him a mess below you and you could practically see Mingyu drooling as he watched the two of you.

“Mingyu, if you want this. Then I want you to rut against the couch. You better cum without me touching you or you won’t be getting anything else tonight.” It was almost instantaneous how quickly he moved, flipping over onto his stomach as he began needily humping at your couch, his eyes never leaving the scenario in front of him though as he used it to try and bring himself his much needed second release of the night.

The air felt hot and humid as the moans of the two males filled the apartment, and fuck it was hot. You weren’t even being properly touched and you were still feeling close. The feeling only growing as Wonwoo shivered below you.

“Please, please miss. F-fuck, pleae let me cum.” He whimpered, his eyes glancing over at Mingyu. Watching his boyfriend rutting against the couch like a dog in heat. For a moment you were brought out of the mood, remembering that you were just a third you had no part of the actual relationship that the two men had. Shaking your head, you quickly pulled yourself back, that was a problem for future you. Right now your only concern was making sure these men were properly fucked out.

“Go ahead, cum for me baby. Cum while your boyfriend watches me fuck you.” That was all he needed, you felt his dick twitch in your hand before thick strings of white cum left him. You continued your mistrations making sure to milk his orgasm for all it was worth. Your eyes drifted over to Mingyu, who seemed to be having a bit of trouble getting to that high once again and he looked down right pitiful.

After Wonwo had successfully come back to you, you pulled yourself from him as you decided to give Mingyu a little help. Sure you still hated him, but it would be cruel to not finish him off now.

“Stop and sit up.” You ordered, and surprisingly the male responded just as Wonwoo had, with obedience. You unlaced the tie and pulled the unsatisfying vibrator away from his cock, listening to more loud whiny moans leave his lips.

“Don’t expect me to be this nice again, you filthy dog. I have standards.” You muttered, before lowering your lips to his throbbing dick. You could hear Wonwoo’s breathy moans from behind you as he watched you suck off his boyfriend. Hollowing your cheeks and teasing his tip with your tongue seemed to be just enough to push Mingyu over the edge and you felt his thick hot release enter your mouth. Not wanting to make a mess, you just swallowed the salty liquid before pulling away and wiping your lips. His loud moans causing your core to ache in need. Which was another thing you would never admit out loud, his moans were just as delicious as Wonwoo’s.

“See? Was being good so hard?” You questioned, pulling your mouth off of his softening member. Sure you were left still needy but you could take care of that in the shower, your job here was done. They got what they wanted out of you and you’d see yourself out.

You went to stand once more, muttering something about going to take a shower and clean up when you felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around you from behind. Wonwoo carefully began unstrapping the accessory from your pelvis, letting it fall to the floor between you and Mingyu with a soft thud. Followed by his lips pressing small kisses against your neck.

“Gyu, think you can finish her off?” He questioned the fucked out male on the couch in between his feather light kisses. You heard a soft groan escape Mingyu’s lips, almost as if it were a hassle but he reached out and grabbed your thighs to pull you closer to him.

“Nunu, it’s fine.” You tried to protest, but the words stopped dead in your throat as Mingyu’s tongue began to work you once again. A small curse leaving your lips as your hand found its way into Mingyu’s hair, causing him to chuckle slightly before his lips latched against your clit, his tongue working furiously to tease the nub.

“You really think we’re just going to let you leave after that?” Wonwoo questioned, his tone reminding you of the times he would switch. Taking control of your little scenarios and it had you letting out another embarrassingly loud groan. “You’re not leaving here until you cum.”

And cum you did.

A few hours later, after some showers, the three of you were gathered around the kitchen table with a small slew of pizza boxes since none of you had the actual energy to make dinner. It wasn’t awkward per se, but you certainly felt awkward. The two were casually chatting with each other as if what transpired in the living room hadn’t happened. You picked at the pepperoni on the slice in front of you. Sure you were hungry but couldn’t bring yourself to really eat more than a few bites.

“Hey, make sure to eat. You probably wore yourself out back there,” Mingyu mentioned, causing you to finally look up from your pizza and connect eyes with him. “You’re gonna need the food so you get back that energy.”

Your eyes flickered over to Wonwoo before returning to Mingyu. “I am eating.” You lied, lifting the slice to show him the small bites you had taken. “I don’t need you babying me.”

The sound of Wonwoo muttering your name had your attention on him once again, “You don’t have to be the hard one all the time.” Just like normal, he seemed to see right through you. A sigh escaped your lips as you reluctantly took another bite of the food. After you thoroughly chewed and swallowed the bite you spoke once more.

“I’ll be heading over to Josh’s tonight,” This had both men turning their gaze to you once more. The anxiety from before filled your gut once more, maybe you would even ask Josh if he was needing another roommate. “Give you guys some alone time, ya know?”

“What if...we said we wanted you to stay?” You were caught off guard by Mingyu’s declaration, fixing your nemesis with a harsh questioning gaze. He seemed to find the look amusing, once again returning to your game of cat and mouse. “Is that so bad? It’s not like you’re completely terrible company.”

“I’m not fucking you again.”

Your words had both men letting out their own unique laughs, the sound surprisingly made your heart flutter. Wonwoo’s was to be expected, but Mingyu’s that was new territory. Wonwoo took Mingyu’s hand, gently caressing the top of it with his thumb. You found your gaze lingering on the intimate action, a longing filling your chest and making you sick to your stomach. You didn’t want to just be a third that was kept around for fun times, but how were you supposed to tell them that when all your words seemed to die in your throat.

“We’re not asking for that. We...talked while you were in the shower, we’d like to give this,” Wonwoo gestured to the three of you. “A try.”

“You are aware that I absolutely hate your boyfriend though.” Which wasn’t a total lie, he was still infuriating but now that you were watching him with Wonwoo. You were seeing a side of him that you had originally not believed to exist, a side that wasn’t a complete ass.

“He’s aware, I told him all about our ‘loving’ work relationship.” Mingyu snorted as he spoke, rolling his eyes as he probably imagined how just yesterday had been for the two of you. “And we still want to give it a shot. He and I love each other, but he...also loves you.”

The confession has your heart stopping dead in your chest, eyes quickly moving back over to watch Wonwoo’s face heat up in a pink flush at Mingyu confessing for him.

“It’s the main reason I was cool with the two of you fooling around. I knew I had part of his heart, but so did you. It’s also why I wanted to meet you. It’d be easier on all of us if you and I also shared something, yeah?”

“You’re kidding right? This is all just some massive joke isn’t it? It’s not funny, guys.”  You felt your hands tremble lightly, scared that they would admit to their offer being false. That you’d be left alone and hurt at such a cruel prank. To your surprise though, Wonwoo reached across the table and took your hand in his own. Caressing the skin as he had done with Mingyu’s only moments ago.

“It’s no joke. I love you, and I hope you love me too...and can maybe even come to love Mingyu too.”

For the first time in a long time, your heart was soaring in your chest.

***

“Mingyu, I love you I really fucking do, but that doesn’t mean I’m cool with you making me wait your tables.” You complained, shoving your boyfriend from behind as the two of you entered your apartment after returning from another ridiculously long shift at your mutual job. Mingyu laughed as he slipped out of his shoes so he could make his way into the apartment proper.

“But you still let me do it, just admit it. You’re whipped for me now~”

“Oh, in your dreams, Puppy.” You could tell the nickname hit Mingyu just the right way, by now you knew all the right buttons to press to tease him without even having to touch him. Slipping off your own shoes you followed him into the living room flopping down on the couch as he turned the AC on, muttering something about how hot the stupid apartment was.

Closing your eyes, your rested your head against the back of the couch in an attempt to relax despite still being in your work clothing. It was only for a moment though, as Mingyu moved to straddle your waist.

“Down boy, tonight’s Wonwoo’s night. I don’t have the energy to deal with your ridiculous sex drive right now.” You muttered, but didn’t bother trying to push him off as he leaned forwards to nip at your neck just the way you liked it.  He pouted against the flesh but did as he was told, stopping his ‘assault’ but not bothering to move off of you.

That was how Wonwoo found the two of you when he returned home from work, the both of you fast asleep on the couch without a care in the world. He watched his partners with a soft look in his eye, heart filled with love.

It wasn’t the perfect relationship but it was one he wouldn’t trade for the world.