#The one thing you can trust most “Christians” to do is completely disregard the actual teachings of Jesus

[krissiekarze]

Christianity the Idea vs. Christians the People

“Be kind to each other,” said the man on the mount, “For all you are one, even those you’ve cast out.”

But the priests and the kings took all the man’s gifts, And they said to their subjects “Give us all that exists!

We have heard the wise words of the man on the mount, And we are made pure, while you heathens are not!”

Then the man from the mount came down to the kings, And he said “Fools, I did not say any of those things!

Be kind to all, slave, free, holy and heathen, For you are just as impure as one guilty of treason.”

The priests said to the man “What of those you despise? Are we to be lower than even the unbaptized?”

The man said “I’ll tell you again what I told you before, There are none I despise, not the queer, dark or poor.

No matter your thoughts and your personal bias, I assure you, your enemies are just as pious.”

And the priests said to themselves “We’ll live forever, too!” Where the wise would say simply “It’s the right thing to do.”

-Krissie Alex

[tenseoyong]

NSFW A-Z: Yukhei

Cr.

Ko-Fi | Masterlist

A = Aftercare   Yukhei is very lazy with aftercare. Still in the mentality of a teenage boy, you know the ones, the ones that nut and wipe themselves with a discarded sock before carrying on with their day. He’s not easily to convince to move after sex, he likes staying in that relaxed state and just lounging around so he’ll grab whatever is in arm’s reach to wipe you both down. It’s not common to get super kinky to the extent of needing genuine aftercare, although if it does, he absolutely does his job and takes good care of your body and mind afterwards, so not much is needed besides cleaning up...that he half asses lol. Aftercare is mostly just exhaustion after sex, and sweaty cuddles while you come back down to earth from cloud nine. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Yukhei is a lowkey more dirty minded member, I think most of the time people focus on him being a giant puppy to see the naughty hiding just beneath the surface. He’s got a fixation on your chest, he’s always sneaking squeezing at you, you know, the whole ‘oh I gave you a side hug and just maybe sort of copped a feel’ situation, you don’t exactly object to. He looks like he won the lottery when he gets to watch the way your breasts bounce when you ride him or how the jiggle when he’s leaning over you and fucking into you at the speed of light. 

C = Cum He is a marker, through and through. Yukhei is of the mindset that being allowed to cum without the blockage of a condom #wrapitbeforeyoutapit isn’t something to disregard or take lightly. It’s an honor, in his eyes, that you trust him so much to take the steps to let him go in raw. He loves switching it up, changing which spot to ‘stake his claim’ as he calls it, jokingly, of course. One day he’ll be thrilled to actually cum inside you, and sit back and giddily watch his cum leaking onto his sheets, another time Yukhei will paint your stomach or thighs, or covering your arched back in his seed. He’s just happy to be given the choice, and doesn't neglect to repay his thanks.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) Yukhei is like a secret Dom, not just being a bossy guy in the bedroom like he tends to stick with. He’s got the physical build to instill this level of submissiveness in you and boost his air of authority, and he definitely has the deep voice to shake you to your core should you decide to be a little more naughty than he thinks is acceptable. But he’s hesitant to truly bring that to light, nervous over how you would take it, nervous you’d think he was some amped-up, hardcore bdsm or some shoddy Christian Gray business, so he keeps the full extent of that to himself. Yukhei still gets bossy and demanding in the bedroom, but tries to ton it down to not completely give himself away.     

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) He’s naturally just a nasty guy, without necessarily knowing the...scientific....reasoning behind some stuff. Sex doesn’t exactly come with a guide book...well I guess there are some, but that’s not the point. Yukhei doesn’t really know why he does half the stuff he does, maybe it’s because he’s not overthinking anything and psyching himself out that makes the less experienced boy able to blow your mind with his skills. Dirty minded, we know, but how often are the dirty minded guys actually good at what they’re doing? Yukhei is the exception to that rule, he really does know how to finger bang you until you’re squirming and fucking you into the mattress like his dick was god’s gift to your pussy. 

F = Favorite position Generally it’s a toss up for Yukhei. On one hand, Yukhei is more of a fan of things like missionary and allowing you to ride him at your leisure so he can get a front row seat to watch your breasts bouncing with his every thrust; on the other hand, Yukhei does love to turn your ass a little red and give you a few good spanks with those gorgeous, large hands of his, so he opts for more doggy styled positions. Neither pleases him completely so you’ll find yourself being flipped around multiple times, being twisted back and forth being the different positions to please him completely. 

G = Goofy(Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Yukhei is just...a different breed. So many memes have come from from him. For the most part, he does assume that light dominant role, and generally remains pretty serious, fully focused on your joint pleasure and soaking in your alone time. There are times where Yukhei’s dumbassery will bleed through, cracking through that authoritative attitude he’s taken on, and lighten the mood for a brief moment before he falls back into his self-assigned role of being in control.  

H = Hair (How well groomed are they) Yukhei is a fairly neat, clean guy. A well put together man, but he’s more relaxed in his way of self grooming. Yukhei still opts to keep his Rain Forrest in tact, while trimming just the bare minimum to keep things neat and clean. He’s no way near a shave-it-all kind of guy, but he doesn’t let it run completely wild either. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Intimacy isn’t super present during sex like with some of the other members, Yukhei tends to get lost in the moment and isn’t overly mushy when he sort of mentally ‘checks out’ so to speak. He’s so focused on your body and your combined pleasures that he’s not much focused on the sweet words. Yukhei is a before and after sweet talker, he excels in the fluffy lovey stuff in foreplay and once you’re relaxed back to normal relationship levels post sex. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation) Yukhei doesn’t always intend...to jerk off...more like most times, jerking off wasn’t the goal in mind but somehow he ends up in that lane. Boy certainly isn’t capable of not touching his dick at random times, it’s easy for Yukhei to go from a minor readjustment or scratch into ‘huh...that felt good...’ and escalate into full masturbation. It’s not a very regular occurrence, Yukhei gets most of his rocks off with you on the daily that there really isn’t a need to start jerkin’ it the second he’s alone again. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) A soft dominant as far as he’ll let you know, Yukhei isn’t going to let you have control 99% of the time. There’s few moments you’ll have where you’re completely in control, and commanding of him, Yukhei tends to hold all dominance in the bedroom. A small pain kink, but not really but that’s what I’m going with because I can’t think of the word for it; he likes marking you, not full on whipping you but a good spanking to flush your ass out red for days is enough to make him burst on sight. He’s got the tiniest bit of an exhibition kink, Yukhei doesn’t like being watched, but he likes...knowing that others know he’s fucking you like an animal, his deep voice carries throughout the dorm, if anyone needed more than hearing the bed squeaking and your shrill moans, him cooing how tight you are and to don’t stop, I’m close, everyone is sure to know exactly what you two are up to. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) While he likes the idea of others hearing you two getting busy, Yukhei is much more possessive than he may appear or let on. He’ll have a fit if anyone so much as catches you in your underwear, let alone walk in on you with your legs spread and moaning like a true whore. Yukhei likes the safety of his room, door locks are the best thing to ever be invented in Yukhei’s eyes. He doesn’t want to put you or himself in a position to really get caught by someone that could turn around and spill your naughty secrets to the world, he would gladly endure his members joking at him for the rest of time, than have, say Dispatch, catch you two out somewhere. Bedroom is the safe zone, he likes staying in the safe zone. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Yukhei is remarkably easy to get turned on. Just that specific look in your eye is enough to get the boner party going. Sit on his lap? Boner. Whisper in his ear something completely non-sexual? Boner. Wearing a skirt? Boner. Genuinely anything you do is enough to get him riled up. Maybe that’s just a testament to his attraction to his s/o that just existing is enough to get his motor running. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) While finding enjoyment in spanking you, Yukhei does draw his slight pain kink at choking. The concept always intimidated and mildly scared him, if he’s being honest. He’s got huge hands that easily wrap around your neck, and that makes him nervous that he’s just completely cutting your air off in the...not sexy way. Or how easy it is to pass out and it’s hard to have a verbal cue that, hey this is too much, when you can’t breath to speak. He’s just not at all comfortable attempting something that literally puts your life in his hands. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) With those beautiful fingers, Yukhei uses his hands to his advantage. His tongue has the skill to stand on their own, but he likes to add his long digits to the mix just to up the pleasure. He’s often using his fingers, lazily fingering you while he focuses on your clit with his mouth, softly flicking his tongue over the small bundle of nerves before those plush lips completely envelope your clit, sucking gently until you’re squirming and yanking at his hair. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) He’s more of a slower lover, but not slow slow. Yukhei’s driving a 35mph in a 40mph zone, if you catch my drift. He really does like taking his time to fully pleasure the both of you to the best of his ability, Yukhei maintains a semi-slow pace, with firm and determined thrusts, not soft by any means. Some days he may dip into the more sensual side of things, others he amps up the roughness, but Yukhei almost always maintains that steady pace, only speeding up when he knows you are both close and need that extra little push to find your release.  

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Yukhei is a greedy lover, if we’re being honest. He’ll whine and mope and beg for ‘5 more minutes’ until you’re both so late you just call off any plans you may have had. Yukhei hates being on a time limit, he likes taking his time and fully appreciate your body and completely take in the pleasure between the two of you rather than hastily running through the stages of sex with the only goal of just having sex in a 10 minute limit. Quickies are pretty much non existent with Yukhei, he’ll just whine until you give in and you two spend hours rolling around the bedding. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) One of the more cautious guys, while Yukhei is more than happy to experiment here and there, it takes a bit more convincing to get him to come around. He’s more cautious of the more extreme ideas you or he may have brought to the table, and looks at things with a judgmental eye. If it could genuinely cause you pain or get you two seen or something of that nature, Yukhei shoots it down. But trying new positions and things that can’t really go wrong, he’s more inclined to agree to trying, at least once.  

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Yukhei is one of the most high energy people I’ve ever seen. He’s easily the member that lasts the absolute longest, Yukhei can push out an hour in the bedroom with ease, and that’s not including foreplay or pausing to bring the intensity back down before you both fall over the edge. Yukhei is good at drawing it out, and making a single round last. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Yukhei may be the only member that a.) doesn’t have any toys and b.) doesn’t use any. Nothing particularly excites him enough to actually try any out to see if you two would like the experience or not. As far as he’s concerned, he has a working cock, long fingers, giant hands to restrain you if that’s the vibe, and a skilled tongue, what else could you need? You might get to convince him to try a few things here or there, but nothing really sticks.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) For Yukhei, teasing is a form of punishment for you. He enjoys seeing you withering in pleasure, and doesn’t always like seeing the anguish pinching on your face when he does tease you. He likes giving you pleasure, and using it to bring you both pleasure and displeasure at the same time causes that push and pull that either leaves you completely satisfied or just on the edge of satisfaction. You have to really be pushing his buttons to resort to punishing you like that.  

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) I can count on my fingers the amount of men I’ve encountered that have as deep a voice as Yukhei does. That low tone sounds like what greets you at the gates of heaven when he’s groaning above you. Yukhei is very very vocal, and doesn’t hold back his sounds of pleasure, moaning roughly in your ear each time he rocks his hips, sinking his cock back in your pussy where it belongs, hissing at your walls clenching around him as he withdraws before repeating the progress again and again. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Yukhei has the slightest ring kink...on himself, if that’s possible? He does love to turn your plush ass pink, like way too much, seeing his massive hand print stamped onto your soft skin is like looking at an museum of beautiful art to Yukhei, and when he’s wearing rings, and the soft bite of the metal leaves the smallest of bruises within his red print just adds to his adoration. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) Your boy is a Big Boi. In every sense. I hesitate to try and say I genuinely think some of the members are slangin’ some serious meat because I try to be more realistic and I just don’t think they are but Yukhei.....my boy Yukhei got me questioning some things. He’s definitely above average, and I’m not talking like a centimetre above, I’m talking that he’s a 8″ anaconda in his pants. He’s definitely a grower, not a shower, you’ll get to messing around with him before he’s completely aroused and be okay with what you’re seeing. It’s a dick, eh, nothing crazy, you can handle it. Then things start escalating....and he starts getting fully hard....and then you start doubting your ability to handle that trouser snake.  

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Yukhei is lowkey a freak. Not even lowkey, like he thinks he’s being lowkey and keeping his nasti levels hidden but like....he’s not. Yukhei is ready to pounce at nearly any given moment. He’s constantly grabbing at you and tugging on you playfully, in his mind, trying to communicate his needs to you ‘subtly’ although everyone around you two are very much aware of what Yukhei’s up to. It’s got to be a very busy day or schedule so intense that he can barely drag himself back to the dorm for him to not try and initiate something. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) A massive puppy in human form, Yukhei tends to be more than content to flop down on you and settle down for the day. He’s not quick to sleep, but Yukhei is quick to enter that pre-sleep mode, he’s winding down and feeling that post-sex high, content for the moment and completely relaxed with you. He’ll slip into sleep rather late, staying in that hazy state for the majority of the time. 

[fandomtransmandom]

2020 Wrapped:

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5-8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Okay, so as you know, ya boi is verbose af, so apologies, but I could only whittle it down to a top 10 (and one honorable mention.) I like to think my work has improved with time, so the older ones may be a bit rough, but here are my favs from 2020 and why (from most recent to oldest.)  

1.) Southern Comfort-Bill Hader, Teddy Redbones (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: Teddy Redbones viciously despises his political opponent Savannah Harrison...by day. At night, the two tear into each other madly, hiding their secret affair from the world and their feelings from one another.

Why I Love: Honestly when @martymcdie88mph sent me a request that just asked for ‘Teddy Redbones laying down pipe’ I never expected the first fic about him to get the response it did, much less for it to lead to two more requests. It’s provided me with immeasurable laughter and I’m so glad there are others out there down to bone this angry southern dom.

2.) Frozen Dreams-Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Receiving bad news while on their Christmas vacation at the height of ‘The Tonight Show’ upset, Conan deals with his grief, assisted by his partner, Molly.

Why I Love: Writing some Conan super angst was so cathartic and beautiful. Thank you @stunninconan for making this request and giving me the opportunity to do so. Just want to cherish our ginger smokeshow and let him know how deeply he’s loved.

3.) Flickering Beauty-Bill Hader, Little Vivvy (Doc Now)/Partners of Multiple Genders

Synopsis: Little Vivvy is away from her family, and her wealth, for the first time in 1970’s New York. As she tries to make it as a dancer, Vivvy undergoes the early stages of her transition and stumbles upon the accepting Ball scene, as well as some struggles of being a trans woman trying to live an authentic life.

Why I Love: I wrote this piece for NaNoWriMo 2020 and I knew going into it I would largely be composing it for myself. Beforehand I considered doing something that might draw in more readers, Reddie perhaps, but I'm so glad I went with my heart because this story is incredibly meaningful to me and I will love Vivvy until the end of my days.

4.) Breathe Me-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry is back in Cleveland after his discharge, working for Fuches, deeply depressed and feeling hopeless. After running into his childhood friend Annie, he discovers she’s doing sex work and offers to help her financially. But Annie refuses, saying there’s only one way she’ll accept payment from Barry.

Why I Love: One of many ideas I’ve worked on this year with @martymcdie88mph, though arguably our best. I received a lot of positive feedback on this piece that made me feel good about myself, and I simply love the dynamic between these two hurting characters.

5.) Lost and Found-Bill Hader, Reddie

Synopsis: When Richie loses the engagement ring he bought for Eddie, he panics, searching everywhere but finding nothing. Coming across the ring while cleaning, Eddie devises a plan to surprise Richie.

Why I Love: This one was based on a prompt from @halefirewarrior and I just think it’s cute and sweet. And it’s resulted in a dozen or so strangers on the internet telling me to ‘shut the fuck up,’ which is always amusing.

6.) Harmonious Monsters-Bill Hader, Vince Blight/OFC

Synopsis: Sociopathic power couple Vince and Stacy Blight live a hedonistic, extravagant existence based on kinky sex and a mutual disregard for humanity. As their ten year anniversary approaches, Vince reflects on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Pretty sure this one appeals just to me, ha. I had a ball writing it. Getting into the heads of these characters was ridiculously fun and smut-wise it includes some of my favorite things.

7.) In The Midnight Hour-Bill Hader RPF, Priest AU

Synopsis: When Father Bill Hader sees a struggling trans man named Troy attending the weekly free meal offered by the church, he discovers Troy is homeless, offering him a place to stay in the basement. As they get to know one another, Troy tempts Bill and tests his faith in ways he never thought possible.

Why I Love: Writing this one for @phantomofthegallifreyanopera was cathartic for me. As a queer trans man who was trapped in a fundamental Christian community for a time, it felt like sweet vengeance to be able to flex my Biblical Studies degree for the sake of gay p*rn (trust me, it’s completely useless otherwise) and it was fun to see Father Bill teased into sin 😈

8.) Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger-Bill Hader, The Alan (SNL)/OFC

Synopsis: When Lily comes home to find The Alan on her doorstep, she can’t imagine why her friend got her such a silly, extravagant gift. That is, until she discovers the Adult Expansion Pack.

Why I Love: I was nervous about publishing this one and almost didn’t. I truly didn’t think y’all would be on board. But thank fuck everyone in this fandom is kinky as shit and this became one of the fics for which I get praised the most. I loved writing it and I’m so here for cranking out more weird shit all day every day.

9.) If The World Was Ending-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry knows that tomorrow he is likely to die, the Chechens seeking vengeance for the massacre at the monastery. For his last night, he wants nothing more than to spend it with Valerie. The problem: Valerie and Barry broke up months before when she discovered his true profession. Barry begs Valerie to see him, and for one final time, he finds solace in her arms.

Why I Love: When @erdankely gave me their concept for this request, I was unreasonably excited. So damn cool. And I just sobbed while I wrote it. Such a sl*t for Barry super angst any day of the week. Love this one and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, actually.

10.) Miles Apart Inside-Bill Hader, Robbie Wheadlan (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: While he’s awaiting trial for murder, Robbie Wheadlan and his lover Abbi reflect on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Not only was this a piece that made me fall hardcore in love with a murderer who was on screen for maybe 15 minutes and has no redeemable attributes, but it strengthened my friendship with @stunninconan and for that I am grateful.

Honorable Mention: Later That Night- Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Conan meets author Gwendolyn who comes on his show to promote her book.

Why I Love: This is the first fic I published back in July. I’m sure I would cringe like crazy if I tried to read it now at all the edits it needs, but I’m so, so happy I decided to post it and kept writing and sharing. Without this almost 48k monster about my orange pompadoured beloved and all the kind feedback from everyone, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you all!

And I spend my days doing nothing other than hammering out alphabet p*rn of my own, so I apologize that I don't know who to tag to keep this going because I shamefully never take time to read. But feel free to do your own if you have creations you would like to share!i

[tarhalindur]

The Tragedy of Madoka Kaname

One of the most common charges leveled at Homura, especially in the context of shipping arguments, is that the relationship between the two girls is unhealthy because Homura keeps overriding Madoka’s agency.

It’s not entirely wrong.  But it’s also not quite right, either.

Looking over everything again, I rather think that at least in the main series this is partially missing the point, and in the most ironic of ways - most of the accusations about Homura denying Madoka’s agency are, in fact, ignoring Madoka’s own agency.

After all, Gen Urobutchi is notoriously a fan of hamartia - tragedy wherein the downfall of a character flows directly from that character’s own personality and flaws.

Madoka Kaname is not immune to this.

(Spoilers go under the cut.)

There’s a few keystones to Madoka as a series, but the one that’s been drawing the most of my attention is the Junko-Madoka conversation in episode 6.  Which does get noted by the fanbase, but there’s one line in particular in the context of Madoka not knowing how to make mistakes that strikes me as critically important and that doesn’t get talked about that often:  “The more responsibility you have on your shoulders, the fewer mistakes you can make.”

Junko, as is often the case, pairs being a perceptive judge of her daughter’s character with a understandably very poor assessment of the situation her daughter is in.  That line is Madoka’s own hamartia: twice during the series, Madoka makes a small mistake in a situation where all the weight of the world is on her shoulders, with disastrous consequences.  (Whether Madoka intended to make either or both of those mistakes?  That’s an interesting question.  It’s possible.  To quote the other Junko line that sticks with me from that conversation, “sometimes, if you’re in a dead end with no way out, making a big mistake is an option”.)  The second is the strongest argument for the existence of Rebellion.  But it’s the first one that’s relevant here: Madoka’s request to Homura in episode 10 not to let her turn into a Witch.

A completely understandable and even noble request, on the surface. 

There’s only one problem.

To wit:

A) Madoka is a show that benefits massively from shifting interpretative lenses, nowhere more so than in scenes like this.  (This applies to Madoka’s second mistake, too - the show is meant to be looked at both through a Christian lens and through a Buddhist one, and the mistake is only visible through the latter.)

B) One very old take on magical girls as a genre, dating back IIRC at least as far as Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura if not a decade further, is the magical girl transformation as a metaphor for puberty.  And we can be quite sure that PMMM is using that take - as Kyubey himself tells us in one of the most infamous (and infamously hard-to-translate because Japanese pun) lines of the series, “in this country they call girls ‘shoujo’, so for girls who grow up to be ‘majo’ is it not appropriate to call them ‘mahou shoujo”?”... operative words “grow up”.  (Madoka can be very, very unsubtle when it really wants to make a point, and this is a case in point.)

Therein the problem: from the perspective of PMMM’s version of magical-girls-as-puberty, Madoka’s request can be neatly rephrased as follows: “please don’t let me grow up”.

Homura agrees to this.  (This in turn is a mistake on her part, of course.  Even setting aside everything else - and as I’m about to get into, that would be a mistake itself - I’m pretty sure it’s counterproductive to what Homura really wants deep down; given the archetype she’s trying to wear and her comments to Madoka in 11, I suspect Homura would be happiest protecting an equal.)

Everything else flows downhill from that.

It’s why Madoka becomes increasingly timid (on the surface, anyways) and unable to do anything at the same time that Homura outgrows (or, more accurately, appears to outgrow - again, parallels) her early-timeline self and becomes increasingly assured and self-confident - as Homura grows up, Madoka is regressing back to a childlike state.  (I am, of course, not the first person to note this.  But I’ve never seen anyone else note that you can set aside Homura’s agency entirely and still get this result because it’s the logical consequence of Madoka’s own request.)

And it’s why Homura disregards Madoka’s agency.  By asking Homura to not let her become a Witch(/not let her grow up), Madoka has inadvertently placed Homura in a parental role over her.  And a situation where a child under your care is unwittingly doing something fatally dangerous to themself?  That’s exactly a situation where it’s considered acceptable and usually outright praiseworthy to override the child’s agency.  (Something Homura is likely quite familiar with given her health issues.  Which stands in stark contrast to basically everything else about parenting, given the strong implication that Homura’s parents are either absent or dead.)

And finally, it’s also part of the problem that Homura runs into.  After all, there’s one problem with trying to prevent someone from growing up.  It doesn’t work.  Entropy triumphs.  (With one notable in-universe class of exceptions... and oh would you look at that, that exception class is exactly what Madoka eventually turns to to make good her request.  For herself and everyone else.)

(The payoff, of course, is Homura breaking down during her conversation with Madoka in episode 11.  For what’s probably the first time in subjective years, Homura treats Madoka as basically an equal, trusting her with an explanation of the actual situation.  And it works, albeit indirectly; Madoka manages to figure out a solution to the problem after Homura does this.)

(Note also the implicit contrast with Madoka’s other non-biological maternal figure in the series, Mami, whose role is instead to push Madoka to grow up.  There’s a reason for the Homura-Mami fight in Rebellion.  And I note a couple of existing things suggesting Mami will have a prominent role in Walpurgis no Kaiten...)

[kaikyo-kogholiini]

At Least We Don’t Worship the Devil!

A common phrase heard by pagans is “We don’t even believe in a devil.” “we don’t worship the devil.” “I don’t believe in hell.”

This is cute, because it’s shorthand for “i’m one of the good ones, please don’t hate me.”

But what is a good one? Is it the christian that is following a path they don’t believe for fear of punishment, because ‘at least I don’t worship the devil’? Is a good one the garden variety Wiccan, who assures you that she’s a good witch while nailing beef tongues to trees and shaking sour jars for her coworkers every night? Everyone is a good witch, until they feel justified. is a good one the Satanist acting as Contrary, forcing you to face your fears and question your fake outrage. Is a good one the Luciferian, that seeks a sacred balance that somehow addresses all of these extremes? Venus spirals in the sky, any attempts to keep it face up or inverted are pointless.

This may shock you, but I find morality in working with the devil. There are lessons to be learned when you stop fearing the conversation and engage. Problems can be addressed and solved when they are discussed. But what is the devil, and Do Luciferians actually worship him? This will take some unpacking.

You don’t have to research Luciferianism long to learn that Lucifer is seen as more than just a literal fallen angel. Sure, that aspect is absolutely part of who he is. But more than that, Lucifer is an energy, an alignment. A title, not unlike priest or king or doctor. Lucifer represents many things, but some of the most important things he represents is Rebellion with a purpose-refusing to follow along when you know your will doesn’t align with what you’re being asked to do. Lucifer represents illumination, and the endless invigorated rush towards knowledge, wisdom and understanding. Lucifer represents balance, walking a path of light and dark. A path that brings light and illumination to others.

In that Dark, is Satan. But i’m getting ahead of myself. To explain a bit more about this concept of Luciferian Energy, when we see these traits in a god or angel or demon, we call this a deific mask. This means this god appears enough like Luciferian energy that it is just like Lucifer is wearing a mask and calling himself a different name. 

Now we’re going to get a bit more complex, but hang with me. Satan is also a title, and it means adversary. So when we talk about the devil, what does that word mean? The root word is from Diabolos which meant to slander, and the root word of Slander means scandalize. One more time! Scandal comes from the french term that means to tempt.

Whew. so far, our terms that indicate the most evil being in existence are words that mean, roughly  *checks notes* ‘someone who causes me to question my beliefs.’

I will worship at that altar any day.

But Worship is a strong word, isn’t it? Well, it is, in a Judeo Christian mindset. The idea is to totally submit to god, everything to him, nothing to me, in trust that he will provide for me. Yet, again the word worship means to give worth to something. To venerate because it has worth. I do give worth to the concept of questioning beliefs.

So do we worship the devil? Of course not. Of course we do. It depends on how you choose to look at it. Is there a thousand Luciferians standing before an inverse cross hailing Satan? Bitch, we might be, but admitting the use of worship? Of course not. We’re too Illuminated to serve, but honor? Praise? Well, those are such grey areas, if i thank the sun for rising, and i am Luciferian, am i thanking Lucifer? Maybe i am. Maybe every time i chirp about the dawn being beautiful, what i’m really saying is I’m so grateful for finding the strength to walk this path. I was so afraid at first but now, the dawn has never been brighter or more wondrous. The dusk has never been more full of promise and hope. But I don't know if I can tell you how the dawn always makes me say Kaaliihaakung in gratitude to Lucifer for reminding me that I have eyes to see the dawn, and there is still hope. 

So no. I don’t worship a red skinned (N’shon jin N8ve cuzzins!) horned demon that delights in torturing innocents. I do joyfully chase after my mentor, who guides me in whispers and dreams to find what i should research next. And yes, i delight in this path. It is a path that can be seen as wholly mundane or completely magical. I can choose to see every sign that exists, and go insane trying to understand what it could mean, or i could refuse to believe that anything beyond the physical exists and all that matters is here, and now. I delight in the freedom to understand the horrific acts committed against me as i discuss my  story with those who share my story, because when people who aren’t connected tell the same story, they become connected. They learn the tactics the others used to survive. They learn that they weren’t alone in desperate acts.

What do i mean, whispers and dreams? In my tribe, it is seen that everything is a vision about the future, and you should be attentive to what you see, because it’s preparing you to deal with that future event. Because of this, i keep an awareness, listening for anything that might be considered significant, while also disregarding white noise. The buttercups might simply be doing well this year and it isn’t a significant sign. Or maybe, because i keep seeing them and thinking of my grandmother, i might need to make it a point to call her and make sure she is doing as well as the buttercups are. I might also have flashes in my minds eye, i don’t see them, but i certainly see them. Images. Clay tablets. A woman. Wings. Feet like a bird. And when i come across her image several days later my spirit lifts in recognition and excitement, perched on the edge of a springboard, about to dive into my next passion.

Luciferian isn’t only a state of being, it’s a pathway, and we are walkers on that path. Some take the low road, dealing in shadows and darkness, with the concept of devouring fear. Some take the high road, attempting to hide their failings  as they embrace the angel of illumination. Ideally, however, we wind along the path like a great serpent, moving to the places that give us the greatest footing along our path, sometimes dipping into the dark places for safety or understanding the darkness of the soul, sometimes climbing into the sky to see the glorious sunrise, or to burn away our fears.

We are not the absurdity you have been led to believe. We ARE the absurdity you have been led to believe. We are free to be fallen and make mistakes and learn from them. We are free to grow and develop and change our minds as new evidence is presented. We are the stuck up librarians of Satanists, the Goth kids rejecting pointless conformation who grow into passionate researchers, movers, doers, influencers. We delight in the words our enemies use against us, because these are words of power, not expletives or gross comments. Our long night is over, Children of Venus. It’s time to dance into the dawn.

[imagineseclipse]

Hey! Can u do another Hardin Scott imagine? Where you are Hardin's gf and Tessa tries to take him from u but Hardin tell her he has a gf? But she won't give up. Also plz make reader bff with molly

You felt fingers run through your hair as you lay your head down on the lunch table, lifting your heavy head as you peered to your right, your best friend Molly flicking her pink highlights out of her face as your hair fell messily over your face.

“I’m not going to any more college parties, I’m not going to be convinced by you again”you grumbled as she flashed you a smug grin.

“I’m not going to any more college parties”she mocked you jokingly, pulling you in for a tight hug. The two of you continued to chat amongst yourselves, making plans to have dinner together that evening.

Your attention was drawn somewhere else as your boyfriend Hardin Scott waltzed into the canteen. His eyes falling on yours immediately. He approached your table, offering Molly a Goodmorning hug. Thank goodness your best friend and your boyfriend didn’t hate eachother.

“Goodmorning sunshine”he smiled adoringly as he kissed the top of your forehead. You mumbled out a ‘Goodmorning baby’ reaching your hand up intertwining your fingers with his, Hardin’s arm slung over your shoulder.

Molly was just about to invite Hardin out for dinner with the two of you when she was interrupted by another body approaching the table.

Tessa bravely plopped herself down in the seat closest to Hardin, receiving a scowl from Molly. You grimaced as Tessa leaned towards Hardin completely ignoring yours and your best friends presence. Not rude at all.

“Goodmorning to you too Nessa”Molly rolled her eyes, your pupils flickered over to your bestfriend letting out a small chuckle that only she could hear.

“It’s Tessa, actually”the girl shot back, turning to Hardin once more. You listened closely, hearing Molly mumble out an ‘I don’t care’ before taking a very large bite out of her pancake knowing that if she didn’t she would say something very controversial, and Nessa wouldn’t like it.

“So Hardin there’s this thing tonight, down at the lake I was hoping I’d see you there”she smiled innocently batting her eyelids at your boyfriend who was currently tracing circles on your back.

It was your turn to roll your eyes now, Tessa had completely disregarded your existence, so confidently putting the moves on your boyfriend in front of your face. This had been going on for a while now, you would have said something if you didn’t have complete trust in Hardin.

Molly on the other hand, had a lot to say to Tessa but you’d made your friend promise to stay silent until something major happened. Avoiding the drama at all costs.

Hardin looked up at Tessa for a millisecond, a hopeful look on her face as he turned to you, kissing you on your cheek. Molly smirked as she watched Tessa’s mischievous grin fall straight off her face.

“Babe, do you wanna come to the lake tonight?”Hardin hummed quietly.

This wasn’t part of Tessa’s plan at all, in fact this was the last thing she wanted. You shook your head, gesturing over at Molly. You had dinner plans and you weren’t about to ditch your friend all because of a stupid crush this girl had on your boyfriend.

“Actually, Molly and I-

“We’ll be there”Molly cut you off, widening her eyes at you. As your best friend you understood her facial expressions and this was one that you loved. Molly had a plan. She sent Tessa a sickly sweet smile before taking a sip of her hot tea. Oh, Molly had always gotten the timing on point.

Hardin smiled at the two of you, giving your hand a little squeeze before telling Tessa that the three of you would maybe see her later. Adding a ‘maybe’ that really must’ve gotten Tessa’s blood boiling.

Tessa nodded slowly before pushing herself up from the table. Finally.

She said goodbye to only Hardin (surprise, surprise) before strutting off towards the exit throwing her bag over her shoulder nearly knocking out a poor boy who was trying to read in peace.

Molly let out one last snort, the three of you resuming the conversation you were having before Miss.Imtryingtostealyourmanbutimfailing had turned up. Hardin stayed next to you until the bell started to ring loudly. He had English class next whereas you and Molly had a free period.

He gathered his things together, never forgetting to give you a goodbye kiss and a ‘Jesus Christ I’m so in love with you’

“I’ll come and pick you and Molly up later and we’ll go to the lake together”he mumbled against your lips as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

“It’s so hard letting you go, I just want to take you to class with me”Hardin frowned down at you as he bid his farewell, leaving you and Molly to finish eating.

You and your best friend shared an awkward glance before you let out a sigh.

“Okay let’s hear it”you said, staring at Molly.

“Who does she think she is?! Seriously y/n, she thinks she can really come in here and try and take Hardin when you two have been together since literally the start of time”Molly started to ramble on, getting more flustered as every second passed.

“Moll it’s okay”you smiled at your bestfriend.

“It’s just that you and Hardin together, it’s all I’ve really ever known you’re like my parents”she laughed, shaking off her tantrum.

“We’re going to this gathering and if need be the earrings will come off”she warned, leaning back in her seat.

So much for not going to another college party.

The three of you had arrived just on time that evening, thankfully not seeing Tessa for at least an hour into the party leaving time for you and your two favourite people to have some drinks. A few of your other girlfriends had attended, Molly filling them in on that awkward conversation you’d had with Nessa at the lunch table.

They had all agreed to keep an eye on her, agreeing that she was doing the absolute most to break up you and Hardin.

And that’s how you, Molly and your friend Steph Jones had found yourselves kneeling behind a bush, watching as Tessa practically ran towards Hardin who was chilling out by the lake.

He’d taken a phonecall from Christian Vance, someone who you’d met a great handful of times, Tessa had obviously seen that he was alone, and this was her chance.

“That stupid bit-

Molly began to stand up, you pulling her back down to where she was positioned before.

“I wanna see where she’s going with this”you mumbled shakily before proceeding to watch her walk over to your boyfriend.

You couldn’t hear the conversation clearly, but it seemed as if she was laughing every five seconds. Hardin was funny, but he wasn’t that funny.

“I didn’t know Hardin was a stand up comedian”Steph hummed sarcastically as she shook her head.

“Neither did I”you sighed as your eyes intently fixed on the girl sat way too close to your soulmate.

Seconds later and she was leaning in, presumably to kiss him, this was the breaking point your heart rate had increased drastically as you launched yourself up from the ground.

It was Molly’s turn to pull you back down.

“Look”she whispered gesturing over to the two of them.

Hardin had gently swerved out of Tessa’s path, leaving her hanging. Wow that has to be embarrassing.

He stood up, backing away from her immediately.

“I don’t want to upset you Tessa, but I’m so in love with y/n you should respect that”he rejected her. Your heart almost burst.

This was the boy you were going to marry.

Molly had a proud smile on her face and Steph gushed over yours and Hardin’s relationship.

Tessa said a few words that you couldn’t quite catch, but Hardin continued to shake his head.

“I have a girl, she’s my girl. I’m not interested, I couldn’t even imagine being interested in any one else”he replied with a little more attitude this time.

She shook her head, storming off towards the fire pit. Molly smirked before turning to you, taking out her earrings. She placed them in your bag.

“I’ll be back”she informed the two of you as she departed in the same direction Tessa had gone. You shuddered, watching as Steph jumped up from her position.

“I gotta see this”she ran off after Molly. You slowly approached Hardin, surprising him by placing small sweet kisses over his tattoos.

“Y/n, I have to tell you what just happ-

“I know”you mumbled as he spun around so he was facing you, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer.

“You’re not mad?”he questioned.

“I could never be mad at you, I trust you and you handled that so well I love you so much Hardin”you rested your head on his chest hearing his heart beat.

He looked down at you, taking in every one of your features.

“I love you too”he smiled, kissing you.

[queertheology]

THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF CREATING A SEXUAL ETHIC

I trust you — yes you! — to formulate a sexual ethic that works for you and is in alignment with your faith and your values.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”

Matthew 7:15-20

When it comes to sex, you probably have a lot of people telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing. For those of us seeking to figure out sex within a progressive, LGBTQ-affirming Christianity, it can be tempting to look outside of ourselves for the answers. If the conservative pastor tells us one thing about sex, maybe we should look to a progressive pastor to tell us something different.

I’m not going to do that.

I trust you — yes you! — to formulate a sexual ethic that works for you and is in alignment with your faith and your values. That doesn’t mean that it exists in a vacuum, or that you can’t (or shouldn’t) consult others — trusted friends, spiritual leaders, mentors, and even sacred texts — but what it does mean is that ultimately, the buck stops with you.

You’ve got this.

You are a smart, thoughtful person. You care about doing the right thing. And, just by reading this, you’ve shown that you can look for support when you need it.

Together, we’re going to develop a sexual ethic that resonates with you.

Step 1: Identify your values

If you haven’t already done so, take some time to think about the values that matter to you. You can’t outsource this work, you can’t just simply flip open a Bible because “the Bible says” a whole lot of conflicting things about sex.

You can use this worksheet to jot down what matters to you.

Step 2: Reflect on your experiences

Think back on the sexual and romantic experiences you’ve had and get in touch with what felt good and what didn’t. There’s a spectrum of sexual and romantic experiences so think about everything from holding hands and kissing to penetrative sex (if you’ve had it). And don’t just limit yourself to “traditionally sexual” experiences. You can also meditate on times when your boundaries have been respected or transgressed. When you’ve felt safe and when you’ve felt vulnerable.

Also notice when your desires match or mismatch with your actions or the expectations or people around you. Maybe you really wanted to express your relationship but felt pressure from your church not to. Or maybe you don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone and feel pressured to have sex.

This step isn’t about coming up with a list of “dos” and “don’ts” (those are often context-specific and shift over time). Instead, this is about picking up on throughlines and patterns.

At the end of this process, we’re going to walk away with two things: clarity on what works for you right now and a guiding framework for interacting with others.

Step 3: Step outside yourself

I know that it’s tempting for me to center myself. If I don’t like something, how could anyone? If I want something, why doesn’t everyone?

Step 2 was all about reflecting on our own experiences and it’s important to remember that they are just that: our own experiences.

In this step, we’re going to step outside of ourselves and use each of those experiences to tap into shared values.

As you look at your past experiences, look beyond the specifics (“We were drunk,” “there were lots of candles and rose petals”, “we did this thing,” or “we didn’t do that”) and look at how you felt: safe, seen, understood, respected, violated, disregarded, taken advantage of, excited, scared.

Step 4: Articulate your ethics

This is the step where it all comes together.

You’ve gotten in touch with your values.

You’ve reflected on your experiences.

You’ve stepped outside of yourself and tapped into something bigger.

Congrats: you’ve already done all the hard work. Now it’s just about putting it all together.

We’re not looking to create a sexual rulebook. Instead, we’re looking to articulate an ethical framework.

Merriam-Webster defines ethics as

a set of moral principles : a theory or system of moral values

That’s what we’re developing here: a set of moral principles. What’s right and wrong. What’s helpful or harmful. What’s ethical and what’s not.

Your responses and reflections to the prompts in each step so far point the way toward that set of moral principles. Now you just tie them all together.

I like to “speak from the I” when I share my ethics. In doing so, I own that these are my ethics, they’re how I see the world. I use them to judge people and experiences (more on that in the next step), but I also acknowledge that they’re mine. Yours might be different.

Here are my sexual ethics:

It’s important for me that relationships be grounded in honesty, communication, and trust.

I want sex to be free of force or coercion.

I want people to feel safe and supported in their sexual decisions.

It’s important to me that everyone has control over their own body.

I value informed consent.

I understand that I am responsible for my own decisions — and my partners are responsible for their own decisions. And also, I want us to take care of each other as best we can, in ways that are appropriate for our relationship.

That list is pretty different from the list I heard in youth group growing up (wait until you’re married to have sex, don’t date for more than a year, light kissing is ok, making out is ok if you’re dating … just don’t get too heavy with it, you maybe shouldn’t masturbate, you probably shouldn’t touch each other below the belt, you’re probably going to touch boobs but you’re also probably going to feel guilty about it).

The specific sexual decisions that you or I make might vary from context to context or shift over time.

For instance, Fr. Shay was celibate for many years and now is not … but his underlying sexual ethic didn’t change.

When you create a sexual ethic, it’s not a list of what you want or don’t want to do (though, thinking through that can also be super valuable. Scarleteen has a thorough Yes/No/Maybe list that you could go through by yourself or with a partner). And it isn’t going to tell you what you’ll do in any given situation. Instead it’s a framework that you can refer make to when you need to make sexual choices.

Step 5: Release judgements

Your sexual ethics are the summary of what you value, how you see the world, what’s right and what’s wrong. Sometimes we are called to make decisions about what’s right and what’s wrong, and sometimes we are called to celebrate differences.

It’s important here to distinguish between “judging something as right or wrong” and “judging something as different than me.”

It’s possible for someone who shares my sexual ethics to make completely different sexual choices.

Looking at my sexual ethics, it’s possible that one person could be celibate while someone else might be completely comfortable with casual sex. Someone might be polyamorous while being completely supportive of another person’s decision to be monogamous.

Release judgement against people who are making different decisions than you would make, even if you don’t understand them, as long as they are acting ethically.

Step 6: Assess and Adjust

Sex is messy. And so is life. You’re going to hit some bumps along the way. You’re going to have an experience that shakes you up or meet a person that challenges everything you thought you knew.

My sexual ethic today looks completely different than the one I had 10 years ago and even more different than the one I had just 5 years before that.

Think of your sexual ethic like the United States Constitution: it’s a foundational document, it’s what we base our decisions on, it should withstand (and transcend) the whims of the moment, but also sometimes you need to change it and that’s OK.

YOU NEED TO MOVE FROM THEORY TO PRACTICE

The most important part in this process is actually doing it. This isn’t something you can just sorta think about in your head while you’re reading this on your morning commute.

Set aside some alone time. Light a candle if that’s your thing. Use Word, Google Docs, Evernote if you collect your thoughts better on a computer. Grab your favorite notebook or a piece of scratch paper if longhand is more your style. And then write out your thoughts.

If you want to email them in, I’d love to read what you come up with. Send them over to connect@queertheology.com.

You got this.

THERE'S MORE!

On Tuesday February 4, we’re hosting a free online workshop to really dive into all things faithful sexuality! We’ll look at developing a sexual ethic, making faithful sexual choices, navigating relationships, and more! Plus you’ll be able to ask us your questions and chat with other viewers (if you’d like). It’s happening at 8pm EST and you can register here.

[missfay49]

Sanders Sides Theory – July 3, 2019-August 16, 2019

The last side will be Aggression. Please enjoy this short essay explaining why.

 Looong post below the cut.

Premise:

Orange.  The mythical last Side needed to complete the rainbow that is C!Thomas.  According to color theory, orange signifies High Activity, Action, Impulse, and… Aggression.  But many of the sides don’t neatly fit into any of the traditional color theories. While it would complete the rainbow, their color is not going to define their trait.  So just toss that out right now.

I racked my brain to come up with another unspoken personality trait that could be considered shameful like Deceit and Remus, that C!Thomas could possibly have within him.  I actually sat on this post for more than a month because the pieces didn’t fit. But now that I’ve started to see other posts about the last Side being Anger, in the context of standing up for oneself, (Righteous Fury) I think it makes sense.  What is the literally opposite of how we view C!Thomas in these videos?  Kind, sympathetic, accepting C!Thomas?  Aggression and violence.  

Examples of Violence or Aggression in the show:

AoVD – Roman slays a dragon-witch to protect an imaginary Valerie.  Roman is considered to be acting par-for-the-course for killing the dragon-witch, and no one minds because he did it to defend someone.  

AA - Login throws a keyboard at Thomas to make a point.  

-Some kinds of violence are acceptable to society, like defeating ‘bad’ people.  Or for science.

LNTAO – Logan screams and throws a crumpled paper at Roman, hitting him in the eye.  This causes Patton and Roman to lead a full-on puppet-based theatrical production about why we need to express our feelings in healthy ways.  (Logan had to hit him in the eye, for the sake of the idiom, “an eye for an eye”.) (Also, Logan had a feeling for once, and it was anger.)

EP – Virgil throws a rock at C!Thomas and hits him in the face, but immediately feels bad about it.  

-Some kinds of violence are not acceptable.

(I’m leaving out the latest episode for a reason.)

The Sides have quietly been exploring and dealing with aggression the whole time.  This is also why Virgil, as someone trying to reform themselves, seems to actually be afraid of the yet-unknown ‘other’ Side.  He knows how bad something like that has the potential to be.  With the last episode’s reveal of Remus, he seems resigned to the fact that all the Sides will eventually come out, and he can’t control or prepare for it as much as he thought he could.  He’s scared.

Counter-Argument:

Let me stop you right there- if the other sides act out and are violent or aggressive sometimes, does that mean there needs to be a whole ‘nother side for it?  Why isn’t that just something they do?

One Side exhibiting a trait from another Side is par for the course, of course.  We were not officially introduced to Deceit until episode CLBG, but Virgil has been specifically reminding everyone not to lie since way back in AOVD, as well as several episodes that bring up instances of lying to ourselves, or denying reality: ANYOLTM, TDSOD, AOVD.  Patton, Roman, and Logan have all been caught lying since early episodes, despite us not knowing Deceit existed.  Therefore, the fact that many of them have acted aggressively in the past is a solid indicator that Aggression will be its own Side.

The Meat of the Argument – Suppression:

There are no light or dark sides, good or bad sides.  There are only those sides that C!Thomas has, or has not, already accepted are a part of him.

Being nurturing, logical, and creative (to an extent) are all sides that have been encouraged in him, and most of us, from early childhood.  Showing these traits is considered positive behavior, and conducive to functioning in society.  

There are no light or dark sides.

Meanwhile, being duplicitous or selfish, creating things that seem too dark, or having paranoid thoughts are all often dismissed or considered to be unacceptable by large swaths of people, particularly when we’re young.  As my own example, I went to a Christian pre-school in 1992-93 (I’m old, okay?).  One day while finger-painting, I drew a large green snake attacking an airplane.  Yeah, that’s right, I came up with “Snakes on a Plane”, and that’s why I included the date.  Suck it, Hollywood.  

That finger-painting was, and still is, the best depiction of an airplane I have ever produced.  I can still picture it.  I was so proud, I excitedly told my teacher exactly what was going on in the scene when she asked.  She promptly took it away and threw it in the trash, because, “Violence is wrong.”

I cried.  I hadn’t actually attacked a plane full of people, or created a real life violent snake.  I’d only thought about it and drawn a picture.  It was a compelling story for a five year old!

Suppressing ‘negative’ thoughts doesn’t help us.  Every Side only wants what’s best for C!Thomas.  Virgil wants to protect him.  Deceit wants him to be successful.  Remus wants C!Thomas to be free to express himself, without being limited by what society (or even his own wholesome viewers) might find acceptable.  

Yet, we are taught to suppress these kinds of thoughts and ideas, to deny they even exist.  But we know, because the series shows us, that even these ‘darker’ sides can be useful.  How?  

All things in moderation.

Moderation is the key.  Focusing too much on any one facet hurts us, while working towards a balance helps us.  Even our acceptable traits can hurt us when they’re taken to the extreme: Being too logical can lead to disregarding feelings and producing lower quality work, just for the sake of meeting a deadline.  Being too fanciful can cause us to get lost in a daydream when we need to take care of our responsibilities.  Being too protective of an ideal can make us blind to the way someone is trying to express themselves.  

One by one, C!Thomas has shown how each Side can be helpful to him.  And anxiety is the key, the linchpin.  Feeling stress can be a way to alert us of possible dangers, societal faux-pas, and cause us to change course to ensure a positive outcome.  This is the base human emotion, that for centuries has allowed us to conform, just a little, to stay in a group, and keep us from getting eaten by freakin’ wolves!  Anxiety is accepted as useful.

Acceptance.

Heck, Remus was introduced and (more or less) accepted in a single (long) episode!  I left out the examples of violence in his episode until now, because each and every one of them was ultimately accepted as just being a creative part of our brains that happens sometimes, unworthy of lingering on.  They do not matter.  It was immediately resolved that Remus simply can’t control or predict his imaginative outbursts, but would like to be accepted all the same because he doesn’t want C!Thomas to miss out on what could be a huge portion of his creative ability.  He’s hurt by the fact he was rejected in the first place.

So, although Deceit has not yet been accepted per se, we can fully anticipate it, and the acceptance of any remaining unknown Sides, given enough time.  And this pattern of acceptance will be their downfall.

Progression:

Why has it taken so long to get to this Side?  

When the series first started, C!Thomas’s anxiety was high.  He was just coming to accept it existed, let alone how to deal with it and turn it to his advantage.  When you feel anxious all the time, it’s incredibly difficult to ever really feel confident in yourself or what you’re doing.  We can’t stick up for ourselves if we don’t feel confident about ourselves in the first place.  

Anxiety directly inhibits Confidence.

Exactly through the act of resolving his various Sides, the Sides become more and more confident, more valid. C!Thomas grows as a person and feels more comfortable with who he is and his path.  His anxiety evolves and balances out, allowing him to feel more confident in his decision making.

The point is always to achieve balance, and accept what each Side brings to the table.  And now we’re finally at the most recent video, in which we literally come to terms with the ability to have dark thoughts without them necessarily changing our behavior in real life.  Confidence becomes okay.  He believes in his ability to make choices that are just, like in the literal courtroom conclusion.  C!Thomas MUST reach the point where he can accept that premise, because otherwise Aggression would never be palatable.  Standing up for yourself would never be possible.  He could never be confident if he was still worried about randomly committing violent acts against his will.  

In this episode, we see the result of a Virgil that has slowly been growing more confident in his role and purpose, because he and Patton demand the group just “trust us”.  But a confident Virgil is like a feedback loop into the speaker: the noise becomes stronger, more distorted, and more painful with each iteration.  When he finds himself aligned with Remus unexpectedly, his feelings of confidence sink and his doubt skyrockets.

Prediction:

Not in the next episode, but definitely coming up, C!Thomas will experience an injustice from outside forces. There will be an increased level of anxiety, in which Virgil reaches an unbearable level, and C!Thomas wonders if aggressively pursuing his goals will cause him to lose his sense of self.  He was wronged, but how far is he willing to go to right it?  Can he handle that kind of social conflict?

C!Thomas doesn’t believe in violence, sure, but he can’t let this one go, not after everything else he’s given up so far.  Roman deserves this.  He will ultimately be manipulated into tabling his Anxiety, because he feels he deserves to be successful, and he can’t afford to let fear stop him now.  

The Set Up:

With Anxiety out of the way, something changes in the others.  They feel free, more confident.  This time the choice was knowingly made to reject Virgil, instead of leaving everyone confused like it did in AA.  And at least some of them can feel justified about it, because he was getting out of control.  They’ll bring him back when it’s all over, they tell themselves.  But with Patton’s help, C!Thomas still feels one last pang of doubt.  Was it right to remove Virgil?  At this, Logan will turn on him, reasoning that the entire point of EVERYTHING was to be successful, and “now that we’re here, you’re just going to throw it all away?  For what?!  To save face with someone who doesn’t even deserve it?  To let some jerk decide what you’re capable of, for you?  This could be- IS everything we’ve been working towards!”  The set-up of him being the savior in DWIT, and feeling more confident in his status as “cool” and capable, will be his driving force.  Even Roman is on-board with this, he wants the spotlight so badly! Logan’s voice will change.  He’ll become unreasonable, emotional.  And at that point it will become clear he’s not himself.  He will hit the floor like the battery just died in his little robot puppet.  And what rises up in his place?  Well...

Aggression will appear without any fancy dress.  He will be wearing a t-shirt, possibly with some orange, or some small, hard-to-see detail indicating his trait, but will otherwise look exactly like C!Thomas does in everyday life.  This is the insidiousness of anger and violent thoughts; You can never tell, just by looking, who might act on them.

He will be an energetic, twitching mess of barely controlled excitement, looking for any outlet.  He might display potential traits for an addictive personality.  He will give clear instructions and expect to be listened to.  “Do it.  Do it, now- STOP TALKING AND D-!“

All of the increasingly extravagant costumes for each new side have just been a misdirect leading up to this exact moment; A face-to-face confrontation with the part of C!Thomas that he feels most ashamed of: actual pride in himself.  

Why?

Why would it be hard for someone to be proud of themselves?  

Already addressed in DWIT, pride is a ‘sin’.  We convince ourselves not to feel it, because the ‘right’ thing to do is accept our lot in life, to believe we don’t even deserve what we have, let alone dare to reach for more. One of the greatest struggles we face in a world where we have access to a relentless stream of information, is reconciling our position compared to others.  Every time we get a role in the play, are we taking from someone else?  Maybe we didn’t really earn that opportunity.  The act of pursuing anything non-critical to survival is juxtaposed by our sense of justice.  We struggled, so we deserve something for our efforts.  

People who have struggled hard to make something of themselves, only to find their path blocked by someone else, something outside of their control… they snap.  They reach an invisible marker in their timeline where they can choose to either be someone that always gives in, gives to others, never chooses themselves… or they can choose to stand up.  And who helps us stand up?  Deceit.  Because if we aren’t willing to stand up to that roadblock for ourselves, we rationalize that it will benefit others.  How many more people will this roadblock prevent from creating something?  From succeeding?  This isn’t just about us anymore, it’s about justice for all who come after!  It is righteous!  It is good! It’s US versus THEM!

That’s why, when we need to reject civility, anxiety has to go…

Conclusion:

Accepting Deceit is the first step. None of this works if he’s still an outlier.  With the help of Deceit, Aggression will forcibly coerce and overpower each Side in turn as they try to defend C!Thomas, insisting that he is the last, and greatest, piece of the puzzle needed to ensure C!Thomas’s success and well-being. He is self-serving and unabashedly honest about it.  The contrast will even make Deceit look more appealing:  “See?”  He mocks the Sides as they’re defeated.  “I just wanted to give you a calm, civil version of all…” waving a gloved hand, “-this.  But you wouldn’t listen and, now, here we are...”

But you wouldn’t listen.

C!Thomas will continue the pattern of acceptance, because every Side has to have some good in them, right?  If Deceit can be good, so can Aggression.  He doesn’t understand why the other Sides are being so stubborn.  They don’t know what it feels like to be rejected just for being themselves, not like Deceit and Virgil.  Like him.

Leaving us with one last, unanswered question: Who will C!Thomas be once all the Sides are revealed?

But that’s just a theory- a Game Theo- ha, just kidding.  If this turns out to be all wrong, well, it was a good mental exercise.  Hope you enjoyed. 

[mittens-220]

Hataraku Maou-sama Theories and Headcanons (spoilers for Volume 17 onwards)

So this was posted on MokoChan_314 (Livejournal), but since it’s not widely shared, I’ll post it here as well. Moko and I thought all of these up together. I would love to discuss any of these things with you guys!

There are a lot of them, but actually all these theories and headcanons revolve mainly around the angels because I love their story so much. So much dark drama.

For those who do not know…the angels mentioned in the series so far.

Gabriel: First gen angel. Was a mercenary handling security in his old planet. Ignora: Fake God. Scientist in her old planet, Lailah’s boss(?). Mother of Lucifer, wife of Sataniel. Kamael: Generation unknown. Was most likely a scientist in his old planet. Lailah: First gen angel. Was a doctor in her old planet. Mother of Emilia. Raguel: Second gen angel, occupation in old planet unknown Sariel: Second gen angel, was a lawyer in his old planet. Brought Kael and Shakeenah (Yesod and Malkuth respectively) to the research facility to aid the humans in their research for a cure. Sataniel: Ancient Demon King. Scientist in his old planet. Father of Lucifer, husband of Ignora. 

1.   Sariel, Raguel and other second generation angels were experimented on using Yesod fragments and had their memories erased/manipulated.

Evidence:

Raguel has a streak of purple in his hair like Alas=Ramus and Acies. [his appearance mentioned in Vol 5] (Of course, he himself may be a Yesod for all we know but that’s highly unlikely as Alas=Ramus had no reaction when she was near him.) As for Sariel, his “light of the fallen” which erases holy magic was highly similar to what Chiho pulled off when she was using a fragment of Yesod. [Vol 5]

About the memory manipulation,  it’s strongly hinted from several incidents in the series. The biggest one being Sariel saying that “Second Gen” angels only appeared after the Demon King disaster. But wait a minute, wasn’t Sariel a lawyer working in the research facility in the angel’s old planet? So yeah, big discrepancy.

2.   The second gen angels were the ones who followed Sataniel and turned their backs against heaven.

Evidence:

No strong evidence here but since Sariel mentioned that “Second Gen” angels only appeared after the Demon King’s Disaster and the rebel angels were captured after Sataniel lost, it would make sense to link those two together and say that the ones who followed Sataniel are the Second Gen angels.

3.     Gabriel was on Sataniel’s side but remained in Heaven as a spy(?).

Evidence:

Since vol 3, he has been doing many things that do not make sense. Easily letting go of Alas=Ramus, trying to get information from Lucifer, giving Maou a chance to rescue Emi and Alsiel… He’s been derailing Heaven’s plans while looking like he’s helping heaven. When everything settled down, he happily joined Maou’s group.

Also, Lailah seems to trust him a lot, consulting him about the ancient demon king’s inheritance and other things about heaven she does not understand. So it seems likely that he was on Sataniel’s side all along. However, since he still has memories of his past, he probably managed to avoid looking like an enemy of heaven.

4.     Malkuth is the real big bad boss.

Evidence:

Malkuth is the one in the astronaut suit who appeared in vol 10 and vol 17. In vol 17, it’s quite obvious as Alas=Ramus addresses him/her as Malkuth when the astronaut suit separated her from Emi and tried to take her away. Also, everytime, he/she attacks, the aura of his/her attacks are shown to have a golden light (Malkuth’s color). In Vol 6, when Maou questioned Iron about his actions, Iron just said that he’s following orders. I would say Sephirah are more likely to follow the orders of other Sephirah rather than those of angels which they seem to dislike (debatable)

In Vol 10, Gabriel also said the “Astronaut Suit” was the one commanding them.

5.     Malkuth is controlling Ignora

Evidence:

Take the previous headcanon and the fact that Gabriel told the gang in vol 13 that Ignora is their leader and you get this.

6.   Lucifer was never some head of Archangels or commanded any angels. Heck, he probably never returned to “Heaven” after Sataniel snatched him away together with Yesod.

Evidence:

It makes no sense timeline-wise. Shortly after the “angels” landed in Ente Isla, Ignora and Sataniel had a falling out and Sataniel left with Lucifer and the Yesod. Then he just followed Sataniel all the way till Sataniel died and was left wandering the demon world alone. There would have been no time for Lucifer to establish some kind of angel status in front of the Ente-Isla humans.

But wait, then why were the angels in vol 3 so scared of him? After the Demon King disaster, the “angels” started conjuring mythical stories of themselves and they must have spun stories of how scary Lucifer was. That’s why they got scared.

[But Lucifer seems to believe he was a commander though] From 0-2, you can see he suffers memory loss. I wouldn’t discount the theory he got his memories manipulated too.

[How about in vol 5? Feeling bored in heaven and everything] That was the time when the “angels” were still floating around in their space ship, doing absolutely nothing.

[Leaving a mess for Heaven to clean up? Also in vol 5] Uhhh…I don’t have any argument against that except for fake memories. Lucifer himself might have read the fake stories of the angels and himself when he conquered the Western continent of Ente-Isla.

Actually I would just write it off as Wagahara intended a more mythical backstory for the angels but he changed it to some sci-fi thing starting from vol 10.

7. Only the demons reacted badly to Mikitty because they all had a corrupted/faulty Malkuth gene or part in them.

Evidence:

Vol 15 already said that demons were the result of failed immortality using Malkuth alone.

Mikitty is Daath and her influence probably tried to readjust/remove or balance the spoilt gene in them leading to their massive discomfort. Though I would believe that Sephirah were never meant to have demon magic and the corrupted magic was going to be purified by Mikitty.

8. Lucifer reacted the worst because he has both yesod and malkuth genes had both were corrupted by his demonic magic.

Evidence:

Also from vol 15, we can believe that Lucifer has complete immortality from both yesod and malkuth genes. However, he also had demon magic which we know doesn’t match well with Sephirah (according to Acies)

When Mikitty got near him, his hair turned silver (demon magic purified? Because we know his purple hair is a sign of demon magic in his body).

9. Only a Sephirah corrupted with demon magic can hurt another Sephirah or hurt Malkuth basically.

Evidence:

Essentially the fight between a berserk Acies and Malkuth in vol 17.

That’s why emi couldn’t do anything. One Sephirah can easily stop another but one with demon magic like Acies will have the upper hand. (Too bad the demon magic makes Sephirah feel sick)

10. Lucifer was the first one to be successfully implanted with the immortality gene and his gene base was then used to give the others immortality to become angels

Evidence:

『This child is the hope of humanity! He is the Child of Dawn who can bring light to the humans who are close to perishing!』

This sentence angered Sataniel, but Ignora disregarded this completely.

『It’s complete! It’s finally complete! I succeeded! Humanity can be saved!』

Gabriel overheard this before Kael and Shakeenah attacked. At the time, the only thing which could be completed and save humanity would be the immortality gene. “Child of Dawn” is also a common reference to Lucifer in Christianity. And Sataniel would definitely be angry if it was his own son who was experimented on.

11. As a result being the base of the immortality gene, Sataniel and Ignora might have made Lucifer into an artificial Sephirahh.

Evidence:

Absolutely nothing concrete, except for his reactions to Mikitty which did not appear to affect the other angels. Also in vol 18, it was mentioned that he was tied down all the time before Sataniel split the moon. Why was that necessary for him when the other angels who got that immortality gene too were not treated the same way? Could it be because he had an extra power (i.e Sephirahh power) which he could not control? Could it explain why Acies and Alas=Ramus feel so compatible with him when they basically hate the other angels? Why did Sataniel feel the need to take away both Yesod and Lucifer when he wanted to disrupt the research? Was it because he loved Lucifer or could they have used Lucifer to advance the research in place of a missing Yesod?

12. The fifth chamber in the underground facility which is meant to hold the Noah Gear found in the demon world which Kinanah led Maou and gang to in vol 17 was for Lucifer.

Evidence:

So far, we know that there are four components to the Noah’s gear (Nothung Sword, Aldramalech’s spear, Ginkan no Mado and the Astral Gem) however when kinanah tried to infuse demon magic into Maou’s sword (actually Maou’s horn, mistaking it for Nothung’s sword due to dementia), one more chamber appeared.

Why I think that the fifth is for Lucifer is because Sataniel only told Lucifer about four items. There was no need to tell him the fifth one, because the fifth is himself.

Reason for Sataniel doing this? Refer to the previous two headcanons. Lucifer is someone with Sephirah genes and strong demon magic (made stronger in the underground facility which sucks demon magic out of whichever demon that enters and then infused into the parts of the Noah’s gear) and probably the perfect weapon against the Sephirah in heaven.

13. Ok here’s a big one and probably no strong evidence with exception of Wagahara’s writing so far. Sataniel is still alive. Ignora is being controlled by Malkuth because if she doesn’t obey, Sataniel and maybe Lucifer will be killed.

Evidence:

Yah, this is really out there. Just that so far wagahara has been emphasising so much on the love between a couple, love within a family, it’s totally weird if he broke that pattern with “Ignora killed her own Husband for her ambitions. And she abandoned her Son” We know from Gabriel that Ignora was actually a very compassionate person so this kind of self sacrificing action is not completely unimaginable?

Then wait, what does Malkuth want to do with her? My theory is to complete the immortality research, give every single Ente Isla person Sephirah genes. I mean, the Sephirah’s main goal is to replicate their genes right (mentioned in vol 18) There’s this bunch of people who managed to do it without the slow courting, marriage, sexual intercourse, then hoping for a successful pregnancy part so why not make use of it.

Yeah. Something like that. I’m not good at explaining how strange my brain is.

14. Totally unimportant headcanon. Kamael is a first gen angel, was Sataniel’s love rival and totally hates Sataniel.

Evidence:

Kamael was in the same research team as Ignora and Sataniel so not a far cry that he knows them both well.

He stated to be immensely loyal to Ignora as an angel so I doubt he followed Sataniel, making his status as a first gen angel likely.

I find it very interesting that in vol 15, wagahara said that Kamael and Sataniel were the final Defense against Kael and shakeenah. So who or what were they protecting? I would say it’s Ignora who was pregnant with Lucifer (who had the immortality genes that could save all of them). Yeah and then I connected this to Kamael doing such a crazy thing is because he loves Ignora too.

But of course, not that kind of crazy love to the point he wants to eliminate Sataniel. Or Sataniel and Ignora wouldn’t have got married and had a kid successfully in the first place? (Debatable)

About his hatred towards Sataniel other than the headcanon love rival thing, could be because Sataniel injured him very badly during the “demon king disaster”. Most likely got burnt very thoroughly (completely covered in armor and raspy voice). Well if we consider above headcanon where I said that malkuth was controlling Ignora, we can also include the “why couldn’t you protect your wife” logic.

(Wait, how did you assume that Kamael hates Sataniel?) you mean him screaming Satan multiple times in vol 8 did not clue you in? Maou obviously doesn’t know Kamael so the only other Satan in the picture is Sataniel.

Mittens: no wonder he tried to burn Lucifer to a crisp.

Moko: probably held back in the end because Lucifer is still the child of the woman he loves.

Mittens: chinese fans said that if Lucifer was a girl, he might have been gentler.

Moko: or perverted.

Mittens:.....

Moko: actually one can be perverted regardless of the target’s gender

Mittens: let’s not go there.

15. About the Silver Arm clan (Vol 0-2 and Vol 17- where Kinanah referred to the Silver arm clan as an angel legion)

The silver arm clan are basically a bunch of autonomous robots (like mobile suits, akuma from d.gray man?) which are powered by dead angels. They are likely to be used by Ignora’s side rather than Sataniel’s since Kinanah and Camio’s father (Caminijah(?)) attacked them relentlessly.

My theory is that these robots were developed when the Angel’s old planet still existed because during then, there were wars being fought so it makes sense such weapons were developed.

I also think that they were made to run on the magic of dead people. Because hey, maybe dead people still hold some magic in them, why not make use of it.

[Wait, what makes you think that Ignora’s side didn’t develop this technology only when they were preparing for war against Sataniel?] Because Lailah knew every single model that existed. If she knows the exact name of each model, likely they were being developed or already developed when she was still with the other angels.

[Ok, but the dead bodies have silver hair. That means they were angels right? Where did they get the dead angels from?] Angels who committed suicide when they were drifting around aimlessly.

They were probably used as extra soldiers but would power down when indoors so as not to cause too much destruction.

Still thinking about their existence honestly.

And here’s the big mystery I cannot figure out.

Who put Lucifer to sleep and trapped him in the white room in the Demon Fortress? [Vol 0-2] Whoever did that wiped his memory as well too…

This one is very weird because the room is only accessible via retina scan. We know Lucifer can open the room by himself. The only other person who can open the room is likely to be his father, Sataniel.

If they were at war with the angels, why trap his son in a room rather than letting him run away? And if one was busy fighting and trying not to die, who would have time to do such a troublesome thing such as opening multiple doors, putting Lucifer to sleep in a sealed medical bed (and possibly erasing his memories at the same time?)

Sataniel has no reason to erase Lucifer’s memories because he told him many things about the Noah’s gear and Sephira. Probably only the enemy would benefit from erasing Lucifer’s memories...but the enemy wouldn’t have access to the room. (Retina scan)

Which is why I proposed headcanon 13. [The one where I think Ignora actually didn’t kill Sataniel and they both might have worked together to protect their son from the Sephira at the last moment, or made a deal with the Sephira which involves keeping their son alive but they will erase his memory so he won’t interfere. That kind of thing. Just put him to sleep and make sure no one can get to him. ]

[incarnateirony]

Writers lie. Death doesn’t. My brain hurts.

What fascinates me is how honest Death has been (or at least seemed) throughout the series. In comparison to Chuck. I started writing a drabble about that and it turned into a whole other brain adventure on ideas of “why the TWEEST”, where it might lead, and so on.

I’m about to tuck this giant ass rant which weaves in and out of gnostic and hermetic thought alongside how it may apply to our canon since it’s very “stream of thought” on my part involving everybody being so damn shocked at WHAT A TWIST with Chuck while I was like “Y... yeah? Wait- wait that- oh I forgot most people don’t think like I do.”

There is also a long list of related posts I’ve been drumming on about all season:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE MISSING PIECES AFTER READING THIS, DOUBLE BACK. Cuz at this point I’m just at stream of thought on where Dabb and co may be taking this.

So, addressing Chuck, the creator, the world builder, the liar.

A preface: Hermeticism believes in gnosis as fundamental understanding, but not all Gnosticism is Hermeticism, as over time, Gnosticism grew into a TOTALLY separate branch that was popularly considered nihilistic, whereas Hermetic stuff was generally more optimistic. I’ll address them separately, even if they’re incredibly related and roll back to that closer to the end.

Nous. Chuck is Nous (or Nous II, which I’ll get to WAYYYY below). At times Nous is divided into three forms -- Thought, Reason, and Anthropos. Anthropos is the human soul, destined to return to god. Much like the (terribly delivered) ideology of S6-7, the idea is that God is made of innumerable souls, and those that conduct themselves properly may become powers of god.

At the same time, cosmogeny is a hot fucking mess. Any person who dabbles in cosmogony that’s worth their salt will still tell you that, well, they weren’t there at the start of the world, but Empedocles was the sharp kind of whip that got to the important truths that I think will be the real human moralistic line of our final season for our actual heroes, Team Free Will: “Love and strife are the two principle forces driving all things. Things come together, things fall apart. The rest is commentary.” That’s a bit of an aside, just here while we’re literally poking at the Supernatural cosmogony in canon.

Billie and God, they’re at strife here -- in the end, I’ll reap god, too.

On the other hand, Team Free Will tend to make their choices based on love.

A few points to get out of my way before I circle to my original point: modern Gnostics revere Lucifer as Prometheus. I feel I’ve missed that important word in my brush overs. Modern. Thing is, that’s a modern invention completely absent in sources like the Pleroma. But the Apocryphon of John did lend toward it. The whole cascade of symbology ends up with them saying Jesus and Lucifer are one in the same, but again, modern invention, but definitely a step The Powers That Be have not even hinted or breathed in the direction of and I don’t see them taking that step. That said, Lucifer called out propaganda. And regardless of if Lucifer is a modern or ancient christ figure, the gnostic contempt for Jehovah wasn’t particularly a secret.

Because regardless of if the snake in the gnostic garden was Lucifer or Satan (it IS in Supernatural), it was a savior figure breaking through Chuck’s false reality. A constructed reality. A veil of lies built around a creation he wanted run HIS way.

Chuck’s false reality has been REPEATEDLY addressed as propaganda by Lucifer, who we didn’t want to believe. Chuck misguided them as a lowkey writer right off the bat. Chuck disregarded their prayers for years. Chuck only came back when his ass was on the line from his own equal and opposite pole but gave a really nifty drama story on why, which Lucifer AND EVERYBODY ELSE was pretty much given to swallow or just deal with it anyway.

But summarily, in gnostic tradition, Jehova is the actual satan and the snake was just misunderstood for trying to break the matrix everybody was in, which hits some later biblical curiosities when various affiliated names like the morning star, and phosphorus, both Luciferian, are also given as properties of the holy spirit. EG in Revelations, Jesus calls himself the morning star too. Let’s do a head flip here. But wait didn’t some preacher say the morning star was Lucifer and Lucifer was satan and - hold up, what.

Again, I’m not speculating TPTB are gonna say Lucifer is jeebus. If anything, his child here, Jack, is the christ figure we’re about to face, turning over the laws of the old cruel god in the time of apocalypse. But this idea that it’s just all so sudden that Chuck is turning around when he’s habitually made lies and excuses is kinda crazy to me? Like, he poofed out at the end of S5, so TPTB have known since then? Chuck has literally been lying through the whole series and this is just forgotten because Rob is a super sweet bean everybody loves? Chuck has forged an entire matrix of misery, or infinite multiples, and then decides to try a different story? Sam and Dean are his guys? They keep it interesting, until they try to take HIM down?

But with all the gnostic and hermetic symbolism, this is on point? But Chuck has been lying the whole time? Whereas Death, arguably... has not? I literally didn’t trust them to ever try to take this road on main stream TV?? Like???? This is really balls out???????????? In a christian coded culture?????????????????????

Which rides back to my original point in starting these rambles, discussing Billie: Billie may be neutral, cold and uncaring on a human empathetic level, but Death has arguably never lied. Left out parts of the truth, but never lied. There’s question on if she lied to Dean with The Last Book, but where do her books even come from? Are they Chuck’s shed drafts? And furthermore, this season had a distinct theme of adding words or readings that weren’t in the actual text (the gorgon note, the pearl journal) on interpretation. We still have grossly vague abstract idea of what was actually in that book, versus how Dean interpreted what was in that book and in the end, she still said what he did with the knowledge in that book was up to him. Just that it wouldn’t end in Michael using him to burn down the world. This is inarguably true.

Which lends to the idea of Death as a true natural force purposed for balance.

Whereas it took until season 14 for JehovaChuck to confess, just as biblically,

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace, and create evil…” (Isaiah 45:7)

The word translated “evil” is from a Hebrew word that means “adversity, affliction, calamity, distress, misery.” Other major English Bible translations render the word: “disaster” (NIV, HCSB), “calamity” (NKJV, NAS, ESV), and “woe” (NRSV). The Hebrew word can refer to moral evil, and often does have this meaning in the Hebrew Scriptures.

In retrograde some of this is impossible for them to exist since, we know, original draft REAL LIFE SIDE, angels were never intended and all of that hoohah. So the complexities of “The snake in the garden wasn’t really a bad dude, just a misunderstood rebel, and God essentially = Lucifer” which, in the long term, rolls into the gnostic pessimistic view. What we call god was basically satan all along with a false matrix of control. Gnostic world view is that god is a lying dick and the snake wasn’t all so bad and we should listen and break out. The end.

Hermetics address this in god being good, but still having a wholeassed other set on polarities and what actually defines good, and reaches above a metaphorical jehova-head for an actual god. The All. In The Nothing. Also really super duper familiar right now.

Which cycles back to season 5, “In the end, I’ll reap god, too.” Spoke Death. He clarified the chicken and the egg ambiguities, which again, *rolls another circle around*

Back to gnostic first:

We have a forefather or pro-arche, a pre-beginning, a fore-father,  considered as the idea of Depth -- with whom existed Thought who’s also called Grace and Silence. The Empty Space & Grace, then Mind & Truth. But Nous, the Mind, born of Depth & Grace, sent forth Word & Life and brought forth Anthropos & Ecclesia - Man & Church, which were the primal eight.

Now, gnosticism is a really broad wash, some sects have REALLY wild ass takes on what causes death, but the simple idea of Death is quite literally beyond... like-- if god created The Word (huehuehue) and Life, it’s not that Death is even its own force, so much as a negative space contrary to the work of Nous.

Chaining in my stream of thought here for a second, tapping back to “God was never on your side” as both the lead-in and lead-out of the season tells me that for all the gnostic/hermetic stuff flying around, this season did lean into gnostic Nihilism (huehuehue). The question is if the hermetic Optimism (huehuehue) is going anywhere, because that’s where my recent gong banging about the Shadow (huehuehue), The All, and all of that is on about and it’s just hanging out there, like an invitation for them to face their mirrors and take on the godhead themselves, beyond Chuck, and own that role -- or, yes, could just be reduced to an uber villain.

Fascinatingly, The All as it was used in FMA - which you may remember me dropping a gif of here or there to compare to the Empty Smile - was also Truth. *points back up to the above*

Anyway, to the hermetic reading, it’s a matter of how, if at all, they subvert their own dark-god roll here. The Gnostic God is a dick. The Hermetic god can still be a dick, but his motivations in creating the universe are notably less intentionally malignant. The god of 14.20 is the gnostic god. The question is if he has a hermetic optimistic lining.

The accounts vary slightly, but summarily man was much like the angels at first, a being of androgynous soul unchained to the physical realm, who helped DESIGN to the original world, as *points back above again* god himself is actually a collective vat of souls, or the substance that makes souls. “Let us make man in our own image,” as it were. Nature looked up at man and fell in love with it. Man looked down at nature and fell in love with it. But man fell in love with creation and wanted to dwell in it, and then variably yeeted themselves into the physical world or, by some accounts, were chained into it. Which made them subject to sleep, sex... and yes, gave life, but also the possibility for death. It leads to a state of reincarnation until they’re worth reuniting with the godhead. 

Basically, it’s the tale of the angels fall itself, which I think is more where we’re going to see the hermetic aspect rearing its head in this telling. But I could be wrong. Shrug emoji. Man looks up at angel falls in love with it, angel looks down at man and falls in love with it, angel yeets self into human world. Sounds super familiar or something somehow. Shrug emoji again.

Because there’s also the hermetic issue of Nous and... Second Nous. Nous II which is actually closer to The Word made the planets and all the cool stuff, but Nous I actually made man, which makes a hella complicated part in our SPN lore I don’t expect to see addressed. But the creation myth introduces astrology, planets, and man, law - destiny -- from which man is expected and given to rise above. Man with power over creation. “You create your own reality” is literally the idea here. The idea that man has a dual nature -- the immaterial soul, and a physical body after the fall, sending a piece of the heavens into man.

But that man is also the equal, or at least potential equal of god, which kinda disturbs the hell out of fundamentalist christians. “As above, so below,” the Ouroboros is more than a cycle, but also the respective interconnectivity and equality of all things. Some hermetic schools even believe “God only knows what you know,” making the earthly experience or, in SPN, the story a learning experience for the creator as well as the individual, though this is sorta not-cool to fundamentalists so, *tosses papers in air*

Either way about it, Hermeticism addresses the uh, multiple levels of God and the Nous, just like Nous was not necessarily First Tier Creative Force as much as chicken or the egg or second timeless force against other concepts of NothingSpace. 

Summarily, Gnosticism addresses the world as a dark, shitty place full of demons to overcome, a constant struggle to attain higher levels, and an escape at the end in death. The hermetic view is not dark, it’s about beauty and divine harmony, and instead of escaping the world he expands himself to command the world. Which, respectively, gives us two VERY different endings of a new godhead or absolute humanity as the goal in standing against Chuck and what he’s driving them to do.

As for the motivations, even hermeticists can’t agree on that. Does the All have something to gain by acting? Is it compelled to? Or is it like the Kybalion yells, “THE ALL ACTS BECAUSE IT ACTS.” or like Michael, “because I CAN.”

But The All as the true Nous would also be above Chuck. Chuck would be the masculine Jehova. We have the feminine Shekinah in Amara. Chuck is Nous II, whether or not SPN lore addresses if Nous I (The Shadow?) created man or not or just snowballs it into one thing.

And Death, beyond God, a void presence, a silence in the midst of Depth, beyond the Word and the Life but able to read it and keep balance, has its own bones to pick -- without lies, without words, simply with action. But Death is not the end, really, especially not in hermetic rebirth. It’s merely a point of change. But we know even god can die. And in the end, Death will even reap god. And we are in the end. Even God has said it. So, buckle in folks as we deep dive into some crazy level theology.

SPN Cosmogony is making my head hurt is what it is but I see our potentials and they’re all very interesting.

Again, cycling back to related/accessory posts:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

[wesleyhill]

Division and Reunion

A homily on Luke 12:49-56 and Hebrews 11:29–12:2 preached at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral, Pittsburgh, on August 18, 2019

I would speak to you in the name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Our Gospel for today could have been ripped directly from current headlines. Jesus speaks of division in stark, unblinking terms:

From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three; they will be divided: father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.

Haven’t we experienced something like what Jesus is describing? How many of us are already looking ahead to Thanksgiving dinner and beginning to dread the political conversations that will pit us against one another?

It’s become a cliché by now to talk about and bemoan the divisions in our country. Books with titles like The Fractured Republic are bestsellers. One of our sitting U.S. Senators just published a book with the phrase “Why We Hate Each Other” in the subtitle. A social psychologist’s recent book promises to tell us “Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion.” African-American voices regularly insist, with each new instance of police brutality and injustice, that the racial divide remains unrectified.

There was a recent article in the Washington Post that poignantly brought to mind my own family and our divisions. Journalist Elizabeth Bruenig interviewed Joe and Daniel Aguilar, a father and son, both evangelical Christians. Joe, the father, is a supporter of President Trump and plans to vote for him in next year’s election. Daniel, the son, is not and does not. “To see Joe and Daniel sitting together side by side, as I did, in a Fort Worth taco restaurant, you might guess they’re related; you might also guess that there’s some tension between them, at least where it comes to politics,” Bruenig writes. “They eyed each other warily as I broached the subject of Trump.” As I read those words, I thought about the last time my father and I got into a shouting match about politics.

Jesus’s words seem like an acute diagnosis at this moment in our national life: “father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother.”

Jesus’s words, however, aren’t original to him. When he speaks about division in this way, he is drawing on imagery and wording found in the Scriptures of Israel, what we call the Old Testament. The prophet Micah supplies the words that Jesus later takes up and uses in his time. Micah first zeroes in on the people of Israel and highlights their sins of greed and violence:

The faithful have disappeared from the land, and there is no one left who is upright; they all lie in wait for blood, and they hunt each other with nets. Their hands are skilled to do evil; the official and the judge ask for a bribe, and the powerful dictate what they desire; thus they pervert justice. (7:2-3)

In response to this injustice, Micah declares that the Lord of Israel will bring judgment upon the people. When we hear the word “judgment,” we may be tempted to think of Dante’s Inferno or the worldwide catastrophe that a villain like Thanos in The Avengers movie unleashes. But for Micah, the judgment shows up in a less flashy way. It is already here in the present, Micah insists, long before any apocalypse brings the world to an end. It is demonstrated in the present fraying of the social fabric:

Put no trust in a friend, have no confidence in a loved one; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your embrace; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; your enemies are members of your own household. (7:5-7)

When Jesus quotes these words from the Old Testament prophet Micah, he is saying that Micah’s prophecy is reaching its fulfillment in his own day and time. As Jesus goes around Judea proclaiming the arrival of God’s reign and healing the sick and denouncing the hypocritical religious leaders, he brings about division in families, just as Micah wrote about. Some people choose to follow him, and their relatives look at them as if they’re crazy. Some people choose to believe that he is the long-awaited Messiah, while their family members shake their heads in dismayed disbelief. No one sees eye to eye, and mutual trust and fellowship is impossible.

But what is intriguing about Jesus’s words is that he seems to view all of this division as having a trajectory to it, so to speak. The division between families and neighbors is going somewhere. Jesus doesn’t succumb to the despair that so many of our current political commentators seem to nurse. He doesn’t throw up his hands and say there’s no way to heal this fractured society. Instead, he points to the culminating moment of his ministry—the moment that has not yet arrived but that Jesus is journeying towards: “I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! I have a baptism with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed!”

We know that Jesus isn’t referring here to his baptism in the waters of the Jordan River by John the Baptist. That baptism has already happened. Jesus is referring instead to his death, using baptism as a metaphor. He is going to go under the water, figuratively speaking, and drown. The fire that he comes to bring is going to consume him. He is going to die in Jerusalem on a Roman cross. There, he is going to take all the judgments against God’s people into his own body, and he will bear them, and bear them away. This is what Dr. King meant when he spoke about the arc of the universe: the history of God with God’s people is a trajectory with an eventual endpoint. The judgment that Jesus went around announcing is going to reach its terminus—and it will terminate on him.

The Roman Catholic theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar, in his book Dare We Hope “That All Men Be Saved”?, observed that all the imagery of judgment in the Gospels—the places where Jesus pronounces “woes” against wrongdoers, where he announces that God will punish evil and call everyone to account, where he speaks of the sky growing dark and the earth quaking, where he (as in our Gospel for today) predicts division and a sword and a fiery baptism—all of that judgment imagery comes to head at the end of the Gospels. It reaches a crescendo and comes crashing down on Jesus himself as he hangs on the cross. And he bears that judgment in the place of and on behalf of sinners like you and me.

The division that Jesus speaks of actually happens to him: Jesus, the Son, is abandoned by his Father to die; he is not rescued. He, the Son, loses his mother as he dies; he watches her retreat into the arms of his beloved disciple. He suffers the fate of having all his friends desert him. He is singled out from among his fellow Jews. He is corralled away from them, secreted into holding cells and paraded in front of tribunals to receive his sentence of death. Jesus is the one who suffers the judgment that he predicts.

And what happens on the other side? The Father who abandoned him to die raises him from the dead. Jesus regathers around himself the friends who deserted him, and he forgives and commissions them to be his ambassadors. The mother whom he lost he makes the prime symbol of his family comprised of reconciled fathers and sons, forgiven mothers and daughters, rescued Jews and Gentiles, redeemed slaves and free persons. Our divisions are overcome because of the salvation that Jesus achieved through his death.

Our epistle for today says it this way:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

Notice: “since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses…” Not “they.” Not “us.” We. We can now say we, because Jesus has overthrown our divisions.

The epistle says, “looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” Not “theirs.” Not “ours” as opposed to “theirs.” But ours, together. Jesus has drawn us all into the same family, the same body—his body, the church—so that we can now say ours.

Jesus has relativized the divisions that used to seem like the most important thing about us. Through his death, Jesus has overcome the mistrust and hostility we used to experience towards one another. He has opened to us another way to live.

So, friends, as we ponder the harsh reality of division that our Gospel reading for today puts in front of us, let us also see how Jesus has taken all the ways we are arrayed against each other and has taken them all the way into his own body on the cross. As we come forward now to Jesus’s table, to eat his body and drink his blood, as we kneel here together and hold out our open hands alongside each other, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law, let us look to Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith, and rejoice in the way he has made us one. And let us give thanks that instead of awaiting a baptism of fire, we await instead the crown of life and everlasting fellowship with the One who gave himself for us. Amen.

[cobaltscoutj-blog]

An attempt to correct some.... misconceptions

In light of recent events, most notably, the Josh Burner vs Lily Orchard situation, people supporting either side have had their differing opinions. These range from claiming Lily is guilty of the crimes Josh has accused her of, therefore, she should be given a civil lawsuit, to Burner having no basis to sue. However, many have also demonstrated some misconception of the law. This is regarding American law, specifically, as nobody knows whether the supposed trial will happen in Canada or the US.

I’d like to start by saying I have no personal feelings or connections with Josh or Lily. I do enjoy content from both parties. Some have accused me of “white knighting” for Lily on a YouTube comment, but in reality, when I see a situation like this, I have to do my homework and make sure the facts aren’t twisted.

Regarding my thoughts about those two, Lily’s definitely an arrogant and pompous asshole, but she’s definitely not the spawn of Satan (She’s definitely not the worst person I’ve met, trust me), while Josh’s biggest mistake is his ineptitude in handling serious matters. Josh seems like a nice guy who’s dealing with certain problems in real life, but I’m not sure, I don’t know him personally. People have claimed Lily wrote a piece of child pornography, abused many people, or that she has “ulterior motives” for housing abuse victims in her server. That is a discussion for later, so this post addresses the allegations Josh has made on that Cease and Desist letter only. I’m not doing this cause I’m a “friend” of Lily or Josh, but if people are going to make claims, I’d like them to have the proper research and backing for it, rather than citing emotions, and believing any insult online is “slander.” It’s great to have an opinion on this matter, but it means more to have an informed opinion. I made sure to do my homework on the law, and conversed with a former Columbia University Law student regarding this topic.

Succinctly, Libel is written defamation of a private figure, while slander is oral defamation of a private figure. In order for statements to be defamatory, they need to be/demonstrate/result in:

1. Factually false statements.

2. Reckless disregard of the truth.

3. Provable damages to the figure. (Mainly, financially)

Josh will inevitably have a difficult time proving harassment or defamation to himself, because he is a public figure. Since Josh is a prominent member of the Brony analysis and YouTube community, he is a public figure on the internet. He regularly posts reviews, skits, commentaries, etc. All of this inherently subjects him, or anyone who uploads similar types of content to criticism (as long as it’s legal). By putting himself out there on YouTube, he has made himself a public figure within that sphere.

Break it down! http://gph.is/Z0CcZN

“Twisting words, and speaking lies about my conversations with Patchwork Heart”

I am not sure what to say for this one, since the call failed to record properly and there is no audio coming from Josh’s end. This one is honestly up in the air. Since the evidence of the call has been damaged, it’s really difficult to prove whether or not Lily has lied or twisted words about it. We can only go on the “he said, she said” basis, which the court will not accept.

 “Deliberately and maliciously placing calls reasonably expected to be private in a public sphere for the intent of defamation.”

Both Burner’s and Orchard’s territories (Texas, United States and Nova Scotia, Canada, respectively) have the “one party consent law.” This basically means that people can record their own conversations with other party, since the recorder is taking part of the conversation him/her/self. Either one recording the call is fair game. I’m not sure why Josh included “deliberately.” However, malice is almost irrelevant to Lily’s action of uploading the conversation. Malice regards libel or slander, while the uploaded conversation was just.... a discussion about what to do with Brony DnD. The video just had the conversation as it happened, and nothing that would damage Josh's reputation. If Josh was worried about defamation from the video, that would imply he did or said something he's not proud of that he doesn't want the audience to know, but a lot of what he said is just up to interpretation. Her uploading the video was meant for the audience to listen to what actually happened, and then letting them decide what to think of it (Whether or not Josh is a “pedo enabler” or a “liar.” But this isn’t the main topic). Defamation applies to recklessly false statements, but portraying the situation as it happened (uploading the actual conversation) is the complete opposite of defamation.

“Using your fanbase and friends to send repeated and unrelenting harassment and false-flag my videos or videos I worked in, especially the Brony D&D videos as shown below.”

Harassment is really difficult to prove for a public figure like Josh. I agree, it’s really scummy of Lily to send her fans and friends on a dislike spree of the Brony DND videos. However, since Josh is a public figure, visible to anyone who types in youtube.com, this one is really difficult to prove as harassment. Plus, he can shut off the ratings bar if the dislikes bother him a lot. Regarding the false-flag problem, it shouldn’t be an issue if the flagging has failed. The decision to remove a flagged video is ultimately made by YouTube, and not the people who flag it. Since the false-flagging has failed, I doubt that the court will tackle this. The false flagging was just petty on the fans’ part.

Josh is trying to prove harassment, but on YouTube, he is subject to any opinion made based on the facts. Anyone can disagree on opinions. It’s also fair game to make an interpretation about someone based on his actions. Although people may disagree, it’s still legal, as long as it’s not blatantly false.

Moving on.

“Repeating and relentless use of ad-hominem attacks against me in public settings.”

Ad hominem is a logical fallacy where one’s argument is loaded with personal insults. Josh also linked the reader to a post where Lily compares Josh to Captain America, when he mentions “Hail Hydra.”

As offensive as it may be, it’s not violating any rules and to suggest a comparison to a comic book character being a felony is ridiculous. I doubt this will go through.

“Stealing my ideas simply to spite me.”

While I do agree copying ideas proves someone is unoriginal, Josh and Lily didn’t copy each ideas word for word. The original creator (Jello Apocalypse) of the “Review in 10 words or less” concept made his regarding Disney movies. The two did copy the concept, but since they added their own wrinkles to it (Making it MLP-based), none of them can be guilty of plagiarism. While it is very petty and childish of her to one-up Josh, it’s still legal. Wanting to one-up someone on the internet is the equivalent of wanting more “Gold stars” than others as an elementary school student. I don’t think there are any laws saying “you aren’t allowed to one-up another person, since it’s out of spite.” I doubt this part goes through.

Now let’s go to where Josh claims Lily has made defamatory statements.

“I bullied Patchwork Heart into relenting about Brony D&D.”

As mentioned somewhere above, this call lacked anything coming from Josh’s end, so this claim is honestly up for grabs. Lily made this claim based upon what Patchwork Heart themselves said on a tumblr post (I can’t find it). Since the call regarding their conversation failed to record properly, Lily’s in reasonable territory to claim Josh did so, since there is nothing to prove that Josh DIDN’T bully Patch (I’m not saying he did. It would just be difficult to prove either side). All Lily could work with was Patch’s tumblr post, since they were the only ones with Josh in that call. Lily formed an opinion based on the limited knowledge she had to work with. Since it’s impossible to prove whether Josh did bully Patch or not, I don’t think this will hold up in court. The only way Lily could be guilty of defamation would be if the call between Josh and Patch was somehow corrected to play Josh’s audio, but there is no record of anything Josh may have said to Patch.

“I said ‘wildly racist’ things when you were working for me.”

Whether Josh had said these racist things, nobody except for Lily and Josh themselves know. This sounds like a personal problem they had with each other that could be corrected if they decided to compromise and discuss this. Unfortunately both are more concerned about a power struggle more than anything, making this an unrealistic solution. I’m not sure what to say about this. Moving on.

“I am a fake Marine.”

Lily had never actually claimed that. In her “Guard Break” video, here is what she said regarding Josh’s status as a Marine.

“Mr. Burner wasn’t actually in the military. He was in the Marine Corps’ band, the ceremonial ‘I’m helping’ of most military branches. And to presume some kind of genuine authority out of that is to claim that the children who participate in the royal Navy Seal Cadets have any genuine military experience.”

What Lily did in this statement was make a somewhat arguable opinion regarding a fact. The fact of the matter is that Josh was in the Marine Corps’ band. Lily’s opinion is that since playing in the band and actual combat are completely different, he shouldn’t try to act as if he has “military authority.” While this is offensive to many people (I can’t blame anyone for thinking that), it’s on legal territory since she isn’t calling Josh a fake marine. She acknowledges Josh was in the Marine’s band, and uses an (pretty bad, but still legal) analogy to describe what she thinks of it. Saying someone is a fake marine is different from what Lily said. Her claim is equivalent to saying Josh is a sorry excuse of a marine. Offensive? Yes. Illegal? No.

“I am a fake Christian.”

To be honest, as a Catholic, I and many others have no idea what Christianity is about. It’s generally common knowledge that Josh is a Christian and takes pride in that. It’s also known that he has conservative beliefs. What Lily essentially did was call him a hypocrite, since both have principles that inherently conflict. Others may disagree about Josh being a hypocrite. Calling someone a hypocrite for their beliefs is definitely offensive, but doing so is merely an opinion made based on the facts. I doubt attorneys will handle this aspect of the lawsuit, should it happen.

All of these claims made on Josh’s C&D Letter won’t realistically pass through the court or lawyers. Lily’s statements about Josh amount to opinions formed based on actions or facts about Josh. Josh, being a public figure like Lily or many other YouTubers, isn’t legally protected from such actions. Trying to file a harassment lawsuit as a public figure is extremely difficult to get through, since lawyers won’t take a case that’s as gray as this one. Furthermore, Josh’s subscriber and patron count have increased and will continue to do so. It’ll be difficult to prove damages if both increase, since they inevitably make more money for him. If the sub count or patron count had dropped, then he can realistically prove damages, but since the opposite happened, it’s almost impossible. Calling someone an enabler and a pedophile are different since pedophilia is clear cut, while enabling someone can be interpreted as such through many different actions, making it unclear.

HOWEVER

This does not mean I condone Lily’s actions. Nevertheless, she is not legally obligated to stop being an asshole to people. Just as she has her rights to criticize and insult others, she’s also fair game to receiving it as well. Nothing is stopping anyone from criticizing her or vice versa, JUST AS LONG as it isn’t blatantly false. If it’s an opinion formed based on the facts, it’s fair game. Still, there is one action mentioned on the C&D that puts her into dangerous territory...

“Threatening physical harm / to kill me / saying I should die.”

Her claiming she will put a gun to Josh’s head puts her on thin ice legally. Of course, she can possibly defend herself, saying it was a hyperbole. However, she really does need to back off the violent remarks. This is really the only claim I can find on the letter that a lawyer would actually consider. Anything regarding harm or death puts the person on a fine line between claiming it was a hyperbole and actually making realistic threats.

OVERALL

While I don’t justify any of Lily’s actions, Josh’s biggest mistake seems to be his lack of experience and ineptitude in handling these kinds of situations. A lot of what Lily did is morally wrong, but the law won’t stop her from doing so. Some of the claims are difficult to prove for either side, since the conversation failed to include everything mentioned. I don’t want this to appear as if I’m “white-knighting” Lily Orchard while “trying to find Josh guilty.” Neither side is entirely correct or wrong about it. Here is a suggestion I’d like to make. You both almost had the chance to end this within 10-30 minutes on a Discord conversation. You both almost had the chance to stop all the dislike sprees and drama. But you both valued the power struggle more than actually solving the problem. Lily’s suggestion of Josh pushing for the delisting of the Brony DND videos (while making them viewable by link) in exchange for her removing 4 videos that talk about Josh, honestly seems reasonable. Both sides get what they want. Both sides can walk away from each other. Both sides don’t have to talk to each other or think about each other. Her last email that resorted to calling Josh a child was unnecessary, but throughout the email exchange, I thought she was being somewhat... civilized. Josh didn’t have to act defensive and him focusing on the call being “on his terms” may have prolonged this whole debacle. I can’t blame him for thinking that way. Lily has been unforgiving to Josh, and he doesn’t want to appear to be a pushover. However, there are some times, when you need to swallow your pride and be willing to compromise. Lily didn’t need to write that final email insulting Josh, and Josh didn’t need to disregard the deal over a power struggle. It could’ve all just ended. Of course, Lily could have some “ulterior motives” behind discussing this with Josh, but for the sake of everything, take everything at face value and try to fix this together. If one of you goes back on your word, the (theoretical) conversation would be uploaded to hold either party accountable.

-J (Sorry for the long post, but it was necessary. Kudos for reading.)

[oscopelabs]

Evil in the Mirror: John Carpenter’s Revealing ‘Prince of Darkness’ by Joshua Rothkopf

[Last year, Musings paid homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to films we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Our first round of Produced and Abandoned essays included Angelica Jade Bastién on By the Sea, Mike D’Angelo on The Counselor, Judy Berman on Velvet Goldmine, and Keith Phipps on O.C. and Stiggs. Over the next four weeks, Musings will continue with another round of essays about tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

It’s generally accepted that John Carpenter wasn’t a personal filmmaker—not personal in the way that Martin Scorsese, only five years his senior and Italianamerican from the start, was. Carpenter grew up movie-crazy in the ’50s and ’60s. He wanted to make Westerns exactly at the moment when that became an unrealistic career goal. His heroes were Alfred Hitchcock, Orson Welles and, above all, Howard Hawks. It’s been nourishing to listen to Amy Nicholson’s wonderful eight-part podcast Halloween Unmasked, still in progress, and to hear Carpenter—usually oblique in interviews—open up about his boyhood in the Jim Crow–era South. He mentions visiting an insane asylum during a college psych trip and locking eyes with a prisoner who spooked him. That may be the basis for killer Michael Myers but, by and large, this was a guy who wrote what he dreamed up, not what he knew.

That’s not to suggest Carpenter didn’t develop his own signature style. When he arrived in Los Angeles in 1968 to attend film school at USC, he reinvented himself, transforming from a Max Fischer–like creative wunderkind (he was a rock guitarist and high-school class president) into a laconic, bell-bottomed cowboy who listened more than he spoke. He was too cool for nerdy Dan O’Bannon, who worked with him on Dark Star. He was too cool for Hollywood itself, even after he’d succeeded there, rarely mingling socially and turning down projects like Top Gun and Fatal Attraction.

But the cool act was a bit of smokescreen. I once asked Carpenter about it, and he owned up to a private sense of pain in regard to his work. “I take every failure hard,” he told me in 2008, singling out the audience’s abandonment of The Thing, a remake of his favorite film (one that actually improves on its source). “The movie was hated. Even by science-fiction fans. They thought that I had betrayed some kind of trust, and the piling on was insane. Even the original movie's director, Christian Nyby, was dissing me.”

Carpenter would rebound from that 1982 commercial disaster—as well the indignity of getting sacked from Firestarter—by playing the game even better. He directed Jeff Bridges to a Best Actor nomination on Starman (that’s as rare as a unicorn for a sci-fi performance) and, just as things were turning golden, blew all his capital again on 1986’s Big Trouble in Little China, which was rushed and subsequently buried in the massive shadow of Aliens. “You try to make a studio picture your own, but in the end, it’s their film,” Carpenter said in our interview, the Kentucky rascal turned bitter. “And they’re going to get what they want. After that experience, I had to stop playing for the studios for a while and go independent again.”

This is the pivotal moment in Carpenter’s career, the one that fascinates me the most. It should fascinate more people, given what the filmmaker did. Divorced and with a two-year-old son, Carpenter is, at that point, 38 years old. He’s already feeling like a Hollywood burnout, with a decade of ups and downs to prove it. The solution was a pay cut, a big one: Prince of Darkness, financed through “supermensch” Shep Gordon and Alive Films and released in 1987, would be made for a grand total of $3 million, the first title in a multi-picture deal that guaranteed Carpenter complete creative control.

Scrappy but never chintzy, Prince of Darkness is the most lovable of movies. On the surface, it has all the cool minimalism a JC fan could ask for: elegant anamorphic compositions (Gary Kibbe’s muscular cinematography adds millions more in production value), a seesawing synth score, a one-location “siege” structure akin to the director’s Assault on Precinct 13 and The Thing. The movie also has Alice Cooper killing a grad student with a bicycle. It has a swirling canister of green Satanic goo in a church basement.

Critics, by and large, were unkind. In a representative review from the New York Times, Vincent Canby called it “surprisingly cheesy,” singling out first-time screenwriter Martin Quatermass for particular scorn (he “overloads the dialogue with scientific references and is stingy with the surprises”), not realizing that this was a pseudonym for Carpenter himself. Would it have mattered? Released days before Halloween, Prince got clobbered by the gig Carpenter turned down, Fatal Attraction, still surging in its sixth weekend.

But below the surface—and still a matter for wider appreciation—is the film that Carpenter dug himself out of his psychic hellhole to make: his most personal horror movie, starring a version of himself. Prince of Darkness is about watching and waiting. In a way, it’s a romantic view of the auteur’s own time at school. It’s a movie about the evil that stares out of the mirror (i.e., yourself). Like all of his films, it arrived under the possessive title John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness. In my mind, that apostrophe is actually a contraction: John Carpenter Is Prince of Darkness. And Prince of Darkness is him.

First, let’s understand what $3 million means in 1987. To compare it to some other movies of the same period, Blue Velvet’s budget is twice as large. Hannah and Her Sisters, largely shot in Mia Farrow’s apartment, was funded at $6.4 million. When Scorsese decided to go indie and make his audacious The Last Temptation of Christ, he had a $7 million allowance—and that’s for robes and sandals. Carpenter, on the other hand, would be doing practical special effects in camera. He’d be doing a movie with gore and supernatural nuttiness. In a now-quaint New York Times article from April 1987 titled “Independents Making It Big” (“The major studios have abandoned small, serious, risky films, the kind that often win prizes”), Merchant Ivory’s Oscar-winning A Room With A View gets prime positioning with a big photograph; that one has a $3 million budget, roughly. (Not coincidentally, Carpenter’s financiers, Alive Films, are name-checked in the piece as the producers of Alan Rudolph’s Trouble in Mind.)

Coming off Big Trouble in Little China’s estimated $20 million budget (it was probably more), Carpenter would be making a radical shift. But he agreed to Alive’s terms. He’d return to doing things fast and smart, to distilling his vision down to its cleanest, clearest grammar, to getting it done in 30 days (Halloween was shot in 20, over four weeks in May 1978). Even if you disregard the whole of Prince of Darkness’s content—and we won’t be doing that—Carpenter’s desire to work in total artistic freedom is breathtaking. He will do what it takes to move forward.

A little plot: In Prince of Darkness, scientists, theologians and academics plunge into a dilapidated church where they power up their equipment and study a mysterious genie in a bottle: an “anti-god.” The scenario has some of the pseudo-tech fizz of Poltergeist or, in a lighter vein, the Harold Ramis scenes in Ghostbusters. It’s not meant to hold up under scrutiny. Carpenter, who says he was reading books about quantum uncertainty at the time (maybe not the most comforting bedside material given his professional predicament), gives pages of chewy dialogue to the twin father figures of his oeuvre: Donald Pleasence, returning from Halloween and Escape from New York, plays an unnamed, worried priest; and Big Trouble’s wizened Victor Wong appears as an esteemed professor of metaphysical causality.

If the movie has a conventional hero (it doesn’t), it’s Brian, a student who splits the difference between creepy and generically handsome. He’s played by Jameson Parker, then a TV star on Simon & Simon. Or at least I think it’s Jameson Parker. Unlike his more famous San Diego private detective, Brian sports a robust, porn-star-worthy moustache. It makes him look swarthy, mysterious—a little like the lanky John Carpenter himself, who shoots these early scenes in classrooms and hallways at his alma mater, USC. “I spent many happy years at SC as a film student,” Carpenter says on Shout! Factory’s collector’s Blu-ray. “I really enjoyed myself. I learned everything about how to make movies there.”

Watching Prince of Darkness is as close as we’ll come to seeing the director’s formative years re-enacted, memoir-style. In getting back to basics, Carpenter decided to do it literally. Brian sits in class listening; he has a bit of a Laurie Strode moment looking out the window, distracted. Who is he? He’s a young scientist observing evil, almost flirting with it. He spies on a pretty girl in the courtyard (Lisa Blount). She’s got a boyfriend and it irks him, wordlessly. Later, Brian will woo her to bed and use some hard-core Howard Hawks dialogue on her: “Who was he? The one that gave you such a high opinion of men?” he says, straight out of Lauren Bacall’s playbook in To Have and Have Not. It works. She kisses him.

The movie isn’t all wish-fulfillment. In fact, it’s charming how fully the Carpenter surrogate recedes into the team; Brian isn’t even a factor in the final showdown. Maybe his job is to watch other people vanquish evil. That would make sense, since it’s his creator’s comfort zone. In the meantime, the offscreen Carpenter is building some of his grossest sequences, spraying unsuspecting people in the mouth with streams of ectoplasm (à la Rob Bottin’s landmark FX in The Thing), mounting parallel action and deploying beetles, maggots and ants where necessary.

Prince of Darkness has one moment that’s proven unforgettable, transcending even the horror genre. It’s an eerie transmission, the voice slowed down and distorted: “This is not a dream…not a dream…” DJ Shadow samples it a few times on his groundbreaking debut, 1996’s Endtroducing. (The voice is actually Carpenter’s, impossible not to notice once you’ve been made aware of it.) He’s supposed to be a future dude reaching backward in time—“from the year one, nine, nine, nine”—maybe to prevent a biblical apocalypse. All we see is a jittery handheld shot of a silhouetted robed figure slowly emerging from the church, the ominous end-of-the-world smoke gathering.

The economy of the shot is beautiful, Carpenter achieving the texture of a half-remembered nightmare using only a capture-video-off-a-TV-screen trick. (It’s very Inland Empire—and come to think of it, that basement cylinder of swirling green evil is a lot like the glass box from the first episode of the rebooted Twin Peaks: The Return.) So in a situation where Carpenter is facing his most prohibitive spending limits, he’s actually expanding his craft. Prince of Darkness signals his own creative rehabilitation after turning his heel on the studios. Or, to quote the film’s poster: “It is evil. It is real. It is awakening.”

What does it mean that Carpenter’s big payoff involves a mirror? These Cocteau-like shots were some of the most dangerous to pull off. One of them involved plunging a prosthetic hand into highly toxic liquid mercury (a substance the crew had to drain from their hydraulic cranes just to make the gag work). Then, to capture the action on the “other side” of the mirror, poor Lisa Blount had to swim submerged in a darkened swimming pool while an underwater camera shot upward at the glimmering surface. I include these technical details not only to express awe at Carpenter’s commitment (along with that of his collaborators), but also to stress the obvious: The mirror climax was really important to him. The movie’s final seconds are the whole of Prince of Darkness’s reflexivity in a single cut: Brian, woken from a double dream, approaches his bedroom mirror. We see from the perspective of the glass. He touches that porn ’stache tentatively, then reaches out. Cut to black.

It’s not easy to touch that mirror—to walk away from everything you’ve labored to achieve over years, to a place where it’s just you and your talent and what you can do. To me, that’s what Prince of Darkness expresses, subtly. Creatively, the experiment worked: It led directly to Carpenter’s 1988 stealth masterpiece They Live, his most confident political statement and a kindred project in its use of real L.A. locations. That film’s critical reputation has already been defended at large. But maybe it’s time to rally behind the moment slightly earlier, when the director had to rediscover who he was, and what he wanted—and when he found a way to turn everything around.

[eternal-night-owl]

A Lesson in Trust

Fandom: Hetalia

Pairing: LietPol

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Rating: K+

Chapter: 1

Word Count: 3920

Summary: As Lithuania and Poland prepare for their upcoming battle with the Teutonic Knights, they must face their fears and learn to rely on one another. 

Read on: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12542031/1/The-Commonwealth-Chronicles

Poland watched as Lithuania paced back and forth anxiously, trying to think of a plan. They were preparing to fight the Teutonic Knights very soon, but Poland himself wasn't worried. The Knights might have been strong, but they were also impulsive. Their personification was well known for charging into battle without thinking it through first. The blonde leaned back in his chair, arms crossed behind his head, watching his partner in slight amusement. The brunet was acting like it was his first battle or something. He really needed to learn to relax once in awhile.

"Hey Liet, look at what I can do," called out Poland, as he picked up a book off the table he was sitting at and started spinning it around his finger. He managed to do it for about three whole seconds before losing control and hitting himself in the face.

Lithuania sighed. "Poland, please take this seriously, this is no time for fun and games!"

While clutching his now bruised cheek in his hand, Poland let out a small chuckle. "Relax Liet, we're going to be fine. It's two against one, remember?"

"Maybe so, but the one we're against is not a force to be taken lightly. Their army is powerful, and their personification is one of the most stubborn people I've ever met." Lithuania grimaced, no doubt thinking of those years where the Knights relentlessly tried to force him to convert to Christianity.

"Liet, you totally need to calm down. We're not going to get anywhere if you get all panicky on me."

Lithuania sighed. "You're right, we need to think this through rationally. But, we need to both stay focused on the matter at hand." He gave the Polish man a pointed look.

"Of course I'm right, Liet. Aren't I always?" Poland answered back with a cocky grin, trying to get his partner to loosen up.

Lithuania ignored his comment. "It's just…it's hard, you know? I care for my people so much, I couldn't stand to watch them get killed if I know I can do something about it. Every time I think about fighting the Teutonic Knights, I see our lands being pillaged, my people being murdered before my very eyes. Men, women, even children... This isn't my first battle, Po, and neither is it yours. We both know what happens to those who lose…"

"Liet, you're shaking."

"I-I am?"

"Here, sit down." Poland got up from his seat and forced Lithuania into the chair next to him. The taller man could so easily let himself fall into a panic during stressful situations, Poland had soon figured out. Their alliance was still fairly new, but something about the nervous country fascinated the Polish man. He remembered before they met, when his former advisors would warn him about strangers- how they would take advantage of him without a second thought if he let them get too close. Their warnings scared him, but he was glad he had given Lithuania a chance, regardless. It was so much better having another country around to talk to.

Poland smiled, laid the brunet's head in his lap, and started stroking his hair, a tactic he had used several times in the past. It was a tactic proven to be fairly successful. Lithuania's cheeks turned red as he mumbled under his breath that such contact wasn't appropriate, but Poland could feel his body relax despite his protests.

"Now listen here Liet, you are a totally fantastic fighter, and unlike that brute, you actually have a brain in your head. Not to mention that you've got me, of course." Poland grinned. "So don't worry so much, we'll totally kick his ass so hard his dad will feel it!"

"That's impossible, Poland. Germania is dead," Lithuania reminded the blonde.

Poland rolled his eyes. As awesome as his ally was, he had the sense of humor of a wet blanket.

"I didn't mean he'd literally feel it Liet," Poland sighed. "It was supposed to be a joke."

"Oh," Lithuania blushed. "Sorry."

"Anyway," Poland started, getting back to the issue at hand, "We don't have to worry so much, because the Teutonic Knights know that we haven't been allies for very long, so they will probably try to pick us off separately. And if I know anything about the Knights, they will be cocky enough to think their plan will go off without a hitch and the battle will be an easy win for them. So when we show up, your army beside mine, completely and totally united, we'll blindside them!"

Lithuania's eyes widened a little in realization. "Hey, you know you're probably right about that. They'll probably try to separate us from each other."

"Exactly!" Poland agreed. "So, as long as we stay together it will be two against one, and we'll totally come out on top!"

"Actually, that gives me an idea," said Lithuania. "What if we did split up, just like they'll want us to?"

"...Where are you going with this, Liet?" Poland narrowed his eyes.

"It will be just a ruse," Lithuania explained. "If the Teutonic Knights get the upper hand on us, one of us could pretend to retreat, and abandon the other and their army. The Teutonic Knights will lay down their guard, and when they least expect it, the one who retreated will attack them from behind, ensuring our victory."

Poland looked back at the brunet with wide, surprised eyes. "Wow, Liet, I never expected you to come up with something so… devious. That plan of yours just might work."

Lithuania blushed at the complement. "Well, I… I normally wouldn't approve of doing something so underhanded… but our people's lives are in danger if we don't win, and we can't guarantee that the Knights won't try to pull any tricks on us. So, I think it's better to be safe than sorry."

Poland continued to grin at his partner. It seemed like his way of thinking was finally starting to rub off on the brunet.

"Of course, we'll need to get approval from the king and my grand duke first before we put the plan into action." Lithuania added.

"True," Poland agreed. "I don't think they'll have an issue with it, though. We can ask to meet with them later tonight."

"Alright," smiled Lithuania. "Sounds like a plan."

As the two nations recited their plan to their leaders, they both listened intently to their ideas, and remained silent until they were finished.

"Well," started Vytautas, Lithuania's grand duke, "I like it. I think this could bring down the Teutonic Knights for good. You were the one who came up with this, Lithuania?"

"Well, Poland did help me a bit, but yes."

"Excellent job, I knew I always liked you." he grinned. Lithuania blushed.

Wladyslaw, Poland's king, nodded in approval. "I agree, this plan could potentially win us not only the battle, but the war as well. But," he added "We must be careful about this, there are many things that can go wrong in the heat of battle, and this sounds particularly risky. Have you two discussed who will be the one to fake retreat?"

"Well," Lithuania began. "We thought it would be best to talk it out with you two before discussing the details."

"I think Lithuania and our army should be the one who fakes retreat," stated Vytautas. "He was the one who came up with the plan, not to mention that our army is bigger and Lithuania here is the better fighter of the two, so we stand the better chance of ambushing and defeating the Knights."

"Hey! I'm like a totally awesome fighter! Me and my army could easily save yours any day…"

"Poland, that's enough," warned the king, glaring at the blond nation. Knowing that his king would not tolerate anymore backtalk, he reluctantly kept his mouth closed and folded his arms across his chest.

"Hmph," he glared at the grand duke.

The Polish king looked at his country wearily for a second before responding. "I'm not sure if that's the best idea, Vytautas. Like you mentioned, our army isn't as big as yours, so if for some reason you were unable to get to us in time, we would be decimated."

"Trust me, your Highness. We will be back in time, I promise you. Lithuania is one of the most dependable people I have ever met."

"I don't question Lithuania's capabilities, you know that. But it is still risky…"

The Grand Duke looked the king straight in the eye. "This is the only way to win the war. The attacks from the Teutonic Knights have taken their toll on our people and our land. This is the best choice for us all."

The king let out a sigh. "Poland, Lithuania, what do you two think?"

The brunet gave his partner a hesitant look. "I'm okay with it as long as Poland is, your Highness."

"And you?" the king asked, turning to his nation.

Poland looked back at the three people staring at him, waiting for his decision. If he was being honest with himself, the idea of being left alone on the battlefield, even if it was only temporary, filled him with dread. He cared about Lithuania, loved him even, and he did trust him… but his former advisors’ voice replayed in his mind at the thought of putting his life in the hands of someone else."Trusting another country, opening up to them and letting them into your heart, is like drinking poison. Nations are only out for themselves, and they will betray you in a heartbeat if they can gain something from it."

He knew they were wrong, at least about Lithuania. He was the kindest, most loyal person he had ever met. His old advisors refused to trust anyone, never willing to take that risk, even at the expense of gaining allies. He knew this, but still, he couldn't completely disregard their warnings.

"I-I don't know," he stuttered. "Can I have a while to think it over?"

The grand duke let out a sigh. "We need to start preparing now! The Knights will be attacking any day…"

"B-but!" he protested. He turned to his king and gave him a pleading look, hoping to buy some time.

"You will have until tomorrow morning to decide. Otherwise, we will go on with the plan," the king offered.

Poland let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

It was now nighttime, and Poland was still trying to decide the best course of action. He was sitting at a small wooden table that was only a few feet away from the bed he and Lithuania shared, drawing a picture of his favorite mythical creature, the phoenix. Drawing was a form of escape for him, a way he could shut out the world and concentrate on one specific task that he had complete control over.

"Are you still awake?" called a quiet voice from behind him. Lithuania was sitting up in bed, trying to rub the sleepiness out of his eyes.

"Did the candle light wake you up?" Poland asked. Lithuania smiled and shook his head.

"No more than the last hundred times." They both chuckled at the statement. It was no secret Poland wasn't one to subscribe to the whole "sleep at night, work during the day" idea everyone else did.

Lithuania moved over to sit beside his partner. "Are you still thinking about the battle?"

"Yeah," Poland sighed. "I don't know what to do. If I back out, our bosses will totally never let me hear the end of it. I don't want to disappoint them, but...I'm afraid, Liet."

Lithuania looked back in concern. "What are you afraid of, Po? Don't worry about me not getting there on time, I will make sure nothing bad happens to you."

Poland looked down at his picture, unable to make eye contact with the brunet. "It's just...no, nevermind, it's stupid."

"What is it, Poland? You can tell me anything, you know. I promise I won't think it's stupid."

"Well," Poland started. "What if you, y'know...accidentally forgot to come back at all?"

Lithuania widened his eyes. "Poland… I would never abandon you. I swore on my honor that I would stay and fight by your side, as your partner. I would never go back on such a promise."

Poland felt his cheeks getting warm. "I-It's not that I don't trust you, Liet, it's just that… nations betray each other every day, at least that's what I’ve always been told, and… I don't want you to leave me."

"Oh Poland," Lithuania's expression immediately softened, and he sat up to embrace the blond. "That will never happen, I promise you. I will stand by your side as long as you stand by mine."

"Really? Even though I get distracted sometimes and wake you up at night and your people could get hurt and die…"

"Yes, really. I love my people, and I want them to be safe. But they want this, Poland. They want to be free as much as we want it, maybe even more. Besides, what sort of example would I be setting to them if I betrayed the one I swore my life to?"

Poland lifted his head to meet the Lithuanian's blue-green eyes, and saw nothing but kindness and sincerity. He felt his chest grow warm the same way it did whenever be looked at the brunet.

"Here," the Lithuanian stood up and grabbed something from under his pillow. It was a tiny yet thick book that felt heavier than it looked. Poland opened it and flipped through it, noticing familiar handwriting on the yellowed, worn down pages. The book itself also looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place where from. He looked up at the brunet in question.

"This was the first book I ever received. You gave it to me as a gift when we first formed our alliance. You helped me learn how to read and write with it," he let out a small laugh and pointed to a messy looking scribble. "My handwriting wasn't the best back then."

Poland looked back at the Lithuanian in surprise. "I completely forgot about this! I can't believe you kept this thing."

"Of course I did," Lithuania smiled. "I wouldn't get rid of it for the world." They both looked back at each other, a slight blush on both nations' cheeks. Lithuania then grabbed the Polish man's hands and looked him straight in the eye.

"If you don't want to go through with our plan, that's fine, we can find another way. I'll even be the one to tell the king and grand duke. But I just wanted to let you know that you have me, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Soaking in Lithuania's presence, and feeling the weight of the book in his hands, Poland gathered up his courage and decided to take a chance by putting his trust in him.

"No, our plan is good and I think we should do it. We are partners, and I trust your judgment. I think, together, we can defeat the Teutonic Knights once and for all."

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Yes," Poland grinned. "I'm sure."

It was now a few days later, and Poland and Lithuania were in the heat of battle and losing fast. The constant onslaught of soldiers continued to come after the two nations, and they were both covered in cuts and bruises. They had lost a significant portion of their men, and were desperately trying to keep from losing anymore. Poland saw a soldier come from the side, sword raised above his head, and quickly blocked the attack, stabbing the man so he fell to the ground. He wiped his brow and was unsurprised to see blood.

Before Poland even got a chance to take a breath, he heard Lithuania scream, "Watch out Poland!" The blond turned around, and sure enough another soldier was trying to attack him from behind. As fast as he could, he turned his horse around and slashed out at his attacker, causing him to hesitate for a second, before stabbing him directly in the chest.

Poland took a deep breath, knowing that he and Lithuania had to enact his plan now to keep anymore of their soldiers from dying. After checking his surroundings to make sure he was not about to be immediately attacked again, he made eye contact with Lithuania and gave him the signal to retreat.

After noticing the signal, Lithuania gave the Polish man a nod, and yelled at his men to retreat. As the Lithuanian army ran off the battlefield, leaving their Polish allies behind, there was much confusion and fearful shouting from Poland's soldiers.

"Wait!"

"Hey, you!"

"Come back, cowards! Don't leave us here!"

In the end, Poland and his king decided to keep all of their soldiers aside from a few high-ranking individuals in the dark about the plan, so the retreat would seem more realistic to the Teutonic Knights. Though Poland was starting to question his decision now, hearing the anger and fear in their voices.

"Haha, your friend ran off on you." Right on cue, the personification of the Teutonic Knights let out a mocking laugh. He sauntered off to the other side of the battlefield, until he was a few feet in front of the Polish man. "Too bad for him, my people are after him. Now drop your sword and I'll send you to him." The Knight lifted his own sword and pointed it at Poland.

Despite himself, Poland felt a tightness in his chest. He knew Lithuania was a strong fighter, but he still worried for his safety, as well as his own. Even if the Teutonic Knights didn't seriously hurt him, what if they distracted him long enough to where Liet was too late to save him?

The Polish man did his best to put these worries aside and looked straight at his enemy.

"God, you're like a total big mouth! I can handle this myself…"

"I SAID DROP YOUR SWORD!" the personification screamed out, making Poland jump back a bit despite himself. "DROP IT, SWINE!"

Reluctantly, the blond let his sword fall to the ground, dropped to his knees, and held up his hands in surrender.

"Haha, what's this?" the Knight sneered. "I didn't think you'd be this smart."

The Polish man kept his eyes narrowed to the ground, refusing to look up. God, he hated this! He hated surrendering, especially to that obnoxious man, even if he was faking it. It was completely and utterly humiliating.

"Get along with your buddy with that stupid face on the other side," the personification mocked, raising his sword above his head. "See ya."

The nation started to swing his sword down on the blond's head. Poland held his breath and closed his eyes, willing himself to stay strong. Come on, Liet, he thought. This is your cue to step up…

And just like that, he heard Lithuania crash into his would-be executioner. Poland opened his eyes and saw his beautiful, totally amazing partner holding a knife to the enemy's throat.

"You're totally late," the Polish man teased his partner, taking immense joy in watching the Teutonic Knight squirm.

"Wh- D-didn't you run away?" he spluttered out. Then suddenly, realization came over his face. "C-could it be that you...pretended to run away?"

"This is the battlefield! You should have been alert no matter how much you appeared to have the upper hand!" Lithuania exclaimed. "Have you been so blinded by desire and lost what it takes to be knights?"

"W-what are you- let go of me!" exclaimed the Teutonic Knight.

"Do you surrender?" Lithuania asked. The personification opened his mouth, most likely to tell the brunet to take his surrender and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine, when a bone chilling scream could be heard from behind. The Knight turned around and watched as one of his soldiers, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, had a sword rammed through his chest by a Lithuanian soldier and fell to his knees, vomiting blood. Both the Knight and Lithuania paled at the gory scene, and even Poland felt a little sick to his stomach.

"Yeah, I surrender," the personification mumbled. Lithuania let go of the other nation, but kept his weapon raised just in case he decided to attack again. The personification turned towards his adversaries.

"This isn't over, not by a long shot. We will be back, and you will wish you never messed with the Teutonic Knights!" he exclaimed. "That little trick of yours will not work a second time."

"Oh please," Poland snorted. "We could throw a blanket over your head and trick you into believing it was night." It might have just been his imagination, but Poland could've sworn he heard Lithuania let out a snort.

The Knight smirked. "You're Poland, right? I remember you from when we were kids. The first time I saw you, I thought you were a girl. I see that not much has changed." The personification looked the blond up and down. "Hell, you're even playing the role of damsel in distress now. And to a pagan no less!" The Knight gestured to Lithuania, who visibly bristled.

"Oh, will you shut up about that already! He's not even pagan anymore." Poland exclaimed. "You don't even care about that, you just want an excuse to take our land! Well guess what, you ain't getting it!"

The smirk on the Knight's face turned to a scowl.

"We'll see about that when you two become my underlings!" the personification exclaimed. He turned around and started to retreat when he turned back and looked Poland straight in the eye.

"It was a mistake allying yourself with a heathen. When you become mine, I will not forget that." And with that, he took off.

Lithuania and Poland continued to stare out at the horizon, watching the nation and his army retreat, and making sure they didn't do...well, exactly what they did to them. Once they were sure the Knights were gone for good, the two nations met each other's eyes.

"We really did it, didn't we?" Lithuania asked.

"Yeah, we really did. We won!" the little blond nation was unable to keep the grin off of his face. The brunet gave him a breathtaking smile in return and Poland felt like his heart was about to explode.

Lithuania took his partner's hands into his, rubbing circles into his palm with his thumb. "I'm so sorry I was late, Po. I would have gotten back sooner if we hadn't run into more soldiers."

"Well, Liet," Poland responded, a smirk evident in his tone, "I suppose I can forgive you this time, since you did save my life and junk. But, you're totally going to have to make it up to me later tonight. Y'know, when we're alone."

Lithuania's cheeks turned bright red at the suggestion. "I-I suppose that can be arranged."

And so, they both started to make their way back home, Lithuania relieved that he was able to save his partner in time, and Poland knowing that just because he was a nation, didn't mean he had to be alone.

[thebeauregardbros]

Super Mega Detailed Character Meme: Alus Beauregard

APPEARANCE - Gender: Male Race: Miqo’te (Seeker of the Sun descent) Height: 5Fm 8Im (5ft8inch/173cm) Eye color: Yellow-colored left iris / ‘Raspberry’-colored right iris (heterochromia) Hair color: Golden blonde Skin color: Warm natural tan Fur: Ears & tail. Fur on tail is particularly short besides tip of tail, which is fluffier and darkened in color. (lion-like) Scars: Multiple noticeable large and small scars across chest, stomach, upper and lower back, upper-arms, shoulders, thighs. (Note: This is almost always not visible due to clothing coverup)

THE FACTS - Nameday: Celebrated on the 32nd Sun of the Fifth Umbral moon (All Saint’s Wake; aka Halloween) Occupation: Maelstorm miltary medic, Café proprietor, Free Paladin Sexual identification: Asexual Romantic identification: Panromantic Alignment: Neutral Good Criminal history: Once arrested for suspicion of alignment with beastmen (not charged). Relationship status: Single Sweet on: ??? FAVORITES – Favorite food: La Noscean Toast, Roast Canard Favorite drink: Triple Cream Coffee, Raspberry Tea Favorite artist: ? (OOC: Alphonse Mucha, Yumiko Igarashi, Mineko Yamada, Naoko Takeuchi, Tomomi Kobayashi, Yoshitaka Amano, Joseph Christian Leyendecker) Favorite scent: Chamomile Favorite person: Arc Beauregard is the most cherished and important living person in his life.

RANDOMS – Ten facts about your muse:

Alus is an actually really decent at parkour. He loves reaching high and thin spaces that are difficult to access. He tends to mindlessly wander around until he finds himself balancing on a random neighbor’s fence.

Alus is a skilled dancer. He started from a very young age, dancing upon the streets whilst his brother played music, to acquire a little extra pocket money on his family’s travels. Ever since then, he’s kept mostly practicing in ballroom etiquette.

Alus’ adoptive father and sole parental figure, Gwenneg Beauregard, died during the Calamity. Alus’ birth parents have always been unknown. Him and his brother skipped between a couple different foster parents afterwards but nothing stuck.

Alus grew up traveling with merchant caravans. During adolescence, he had little coin and mostly associated himself with lower-class citizens on the day-to-day.

Alus has a large collection of fictional hero novels and romantic novels for younger folk, of both of which he used to be obsessed with. The origins of his light, beautiful, and romantic visual aesthetics has originated from such.

Alus not only can read and write Eorzean perfectly and in detail, he has lovingly perfected cursive handwriting.

Alus and Arc are canonically warriors chosen by Hydaelyn, a.k.a. two of many Warriors of Light.

Alus, for a time, trained with priests of Nald’thal in considering of becoming one himself. He is devoted to The Twelve; primarily Thal and Nymeia.

Alus has completed several years of professional schooling, though dropped out early. He had trouble focusing near the end due to his overwhelming wish to start his adventuring life, which he commenced so, despite objections from his teacher.

Although Alus has a respect for the functionality of law and order in society and would gladly even submit himself to jail if he was under suspicion of committing a crime (which he actually has done in the past), he is fiercely loyal to his own opinions on humanitarianism to the point that spoken down not only to his highest leaders to their face - but to the gods themselves in prayer.

FIVE THINGS - 5 Things they like:

Dodos (and other round, fluffy birds)

Jewelry (favs: Gold, Mother of pearl, Moonstone, Quartz)

Flowers (favs: Nymeia lily, Gardenia, White peony)

Healing magic; healing people; medicine

All Saint’s Wake (and it’s pranks)

5 Things they dislike:

Unhealthy consumables (alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc.)

Politics (especially the corrupt kind; justifications for immoral behaviour through the guise of legality is something that disgusts him immensely.)

Showing his skin

Swamps (a majority of The Shroud). He also dislikes Coerthas’ snowy lands; anywhere that’s really wet.

Dirty fighting

5 Good habits:

Impeccably good hygiene/self-grooming

Tends to never speak badly of others, especially behind their backs

Takes walks early every morning, eats healthy breakfasts, and physically trains every afternoon.

Hardly ever leaves an encounter without giving the other party a fresh flower.

Communicative, patient, kind and precise with strangers in randomly paired military duties.

5 Bad habits:

Can get carried away in gambling (hidden vice; rarely seen)

Wandering mindlessly and procrastinating

Rambling, stuttering, going on tangents about nonsense, speaking uncomfortably loudly or even stepdancing when trying to speak with someone he admires.

Being too honest and open with strangers, as well as being easily swayed/convinced; too trusting

Apologizing for - and belittling - his brother.

5 Personalities they gravitate toward:

Elegant, graceful, or fashionable in a traditionally royal/noble sense

Those who speak in poetics.

Those Alus would say to have ‘fairytale levels of good-heartedness’

Non-judgemental; open to new ideas; willing to listen without discrimination.

Those with similar tastes in flowers, jewelry, old fairy tales and romanticism.

5 Personality types they avoid:

Drunkards, or anyone under the influences of narcotics

Cynics, pessimists, naysayers; those who put others down.

Those not open to the idea of talking things out before resorting to violence or aggression.

Those who speak in vulgarity; swearing, absurdly inappropriate slang; things children shouldn’t hear.

Those who do not follow the laws to protect the order of our world; In general, those with a selfish disregard of their surroundings; socially, ethically or legally.

5 Fears:

S L U G S

Death (of himself, or literally anyone else ever)

Being left alone or abandoned by people he deems ‘close’.

Being placed in situations that he is basically forced to kill, injure, or do anything else he deems morally horrendous, in threat of someone else being injured or himself put in legal danger; as well as being placed under legal danger for avoiding his duties

Being a disappointment to his family, fans, and country

Tagged by: @nozomikei Thank you for the wait /o\ Tagging: ahh anyone who hasn’t done this yet! I’m a bit late to the party. if you see this consider yourself tagged

[mbtizone]

Steven Hyde (That '70s Show): ISTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Hyde is a man of few words. When he explains something, he’s brief, expressing what he wants to say concisely. He’s very good at analyzing situations and his friends will often talk to him when they’re having a problem, because he can assess them for what they are. If something doesn’t make sense to Hyde, it’s disregarded. He is a conspiracy theorist who rebels against authority, the government, organized religion, and most social constructions. He has a tendency to go on rants about these systems, particularly in “the circle.” When Hyde critiques these systems, it is evident that he’s actually done his homework on the issues and has taken in a significant amount of information in order to make an informed decision. Hyde is quite logical and usually catches on to things fairly quickly, but lacks the ambition and drive to use his brain for anything constructive. Hyde dislikes the idea of being a responsible adult, and, even though he has potential, prefers his carefree stoner lifestyle. He’s intelligent, with a quick wit that typically manifests in the form of sarcasm and insult-based humor. Common sense comes naturally to Hyde, who often makes fun of his friends for missing the obvious (particularly Kelso). Hyde is highly independent and rarely relies on other people for anything, likely a result of being abandoned by both of his parents at a young age. When Hyde reaches his own logical conclusions, he doesn’t feel the need to discuss it with anyone else. He trusts his own mind and doesn’t ask for anybody’s input.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: When Hyde sees Jackie comforting Kelso on Donna’s couch, his Ti immediately comes to the most “rational” conclusion: Jackie is cheating on him. And what does he do? He makes an impulsive decision and sleeps with the nurse who was hitting on him at the convention, which he ends up regretting when he realizes he completely misinterpreted the situation. Hyde enjoys living in the moment. If he’s bored, he’ll go out and steal something for fun. He likes the risk of getting caught and enjoys a certain level of danger. Hyde doesn’t worry about the future. He’s happy to just take life as it comes and not make any long-term plans. When Hyde wants to manipulate someone, his Se, Ni, and Fe team up in order to produce the outcome he desires, typically for his own amusement. Hyde has a tendency to be physical, and often directs a lot of his aggression towards Kelso by chasing him, smacking him, or punching him when he says or does something stupid.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: Hyde takes advantage of opportunities presented by his environment and uses his Ni to steer things in the direction he wants. He’s good at manipulating situations to produce outcomes that will entertain him. Hyde isn’t really concerned about the future and doesn’t bother planning for it, but he does see how things are connected and understands that doing this will cause that. He can see the implications of moves that the government makes and often talks about what will happen in the distant future. When Hyde utilizes his Ni, it is often on a speculative or theoretical basis. He isn’t goal-oriented and doesn’t have a long-term vision, but he does see where things might go.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe] One of Jackie’s primary frustrations in her relationship with Hyde is his inability to reassure her of his feelings. He primarily utilizes his inferior function to mess with his friends. He can give them poor advice that he knows will lead to disaster in order to watch the chaos he creates. Messing with other people’s lives is entertaining for him, and he is quick to seize opportunities to amuse himself (Se-Fe), particularly if it’s at the expense of one of his friends. While he does enjoy messing with his friends, he can, at times, offer good advice and help them with their problems. When Red and Kitty are having money problems, Hyde gives them the money he saved from his job at the Fotohut. He takes Jackie to the prom when Kelso goes with Pam Macy and even buys her a corsage, despite his dislike for her at that point in time. When a cop catches Jackie with a paper bag filled with pot, Hyde takes the blame to keep her out of trouble. When the guy Jackie’s seeing calls her a bitch, Hyde instinctively punches him (Se-Fe). He also cares a great deal about Kitty and Red, and is evidently grateful to them for taking him in. It is rare for Hyde to actually express emotion, though. It’s difficult for him to tell Jackie that he cheated on her and it’s clear that he doesn’t want to hurt her. He helps Fez when the jocks bully him and tells him to “come get him” if they pull anything like that again.

Enneagram: 9w8 Sp/Sx

Quotes:

Hyde: While I respect the Judeo-Christian ethic, as well as the eastern philosophies and, of course, the teachings of Mohammed, I find that organized religion has corrupted those beliefs to justify countless atrocities throughout history. Were I to attend church, I’d be a hypocrite.

Eric: The Feds wouldn’t park a car right outside my house Hyde: Everything you think the Government aren’t doing, they are doing, the only thing they didn’t do was land man on the moon, Spielberg shot the whole thing in a Hollywood movie set, that’s how he got the job for Jaws!

Hyde: Mrs. Forman, college isn’t for me. I do my learning on the streets. Red: Steven you’re a smart kid. If you apply yourself, you can go to college too Hyde: You don’t trust me alone in the house? Red: See how smart you are.

Hyde: So, big party? Donna: [sarcastically] Whoopee Hyde: I can’t believe Forman missed all those signals Donna: What signals? Hyde: [in a girly voice] Oh poor me, all alone in my big house, just me in my nightie, if only some scrawny little neighbor boy would come over. Donna: He’s not scrawny. Why am I even talking to you about this? Hyde: Because I’m all you’ve got Donna: [lying down on the couch, embarrassed] So everyone knows! All I wanted was some time alone with him Hyde: And how does that make you feel? Donna: Frustrated, it’s frustrating as hell. Hyde: Do you have trouble sleeping at night? Donna: Yeah, sometimes. Hyde: Do you think you’d sleep easier if you had a scrawny little neighbour boy next to you?

Hyde: Eric, I’ve been thinking about your problem with Donna. After hours of careful consideration, it still makes me laugh.

Hyde: There’s no such thing as gas shortage man, its all set up by the government, everything’s controlled by the oil companies like I heard about this guy who invented a car that runs on water man, its fiber glass, air cooled and it runs on water!

Fez: What is Punk, anyways? Hyde: Punk is the nihilistic outcry against the corporate rock and roll takeover. It’s the soundtrack to the revolution, man.

Hyde: I can’t talk to cops, man. I go insane with rage.

Kelso: See now, Fez, that’s not honest. I mean, we all know you’re small in the pants. What I’m saying is, is from here on in, I’m only telling the truth. In fact, I’m gonna come clean to Jackie about everything. Fez: Fine. You want honesty? I’ll give you honesty. We are all small in the pants. Hyde: [in serious voice] Kelso, this might be your best idea ever. You know what? You should make a list of all the lies you’ve ever told to Jackie, and I’ll help you. ‘Cause all’s I really want is for you to be happy. [Hyde smiles slyly]

Kelso: Okay, Jackie. There are some things I haven’t been honest about that I feel like you should know. Jackie: Okay. [Jackie looks at Hyde and Fez] Jackie: Why are they here? Kelso: Well, Hyde helpfully pointed out that it’s not really honesty unless your friends are allowed to watch. [Hyde smiles]

Hyde: Hey, what do I need Jackie for, man? I know more about this stuff than she does. The three true branches of the government are military, corporate and Hollywood.

Hyde: We hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends. I live for days like this!

Hyde: School spirit is for losers, man. You’re just like, floating along on a conveyor belt of conformity… like, pep-rallies, extra curricular activities… washing you hair…

Steven Hyde (That ’70s Show): ISTP was originally published on MBTI Zone