#The editors and owners do t even have I put the screws to a lot of these ‘journalists’

[hutchhitched]

Screw West

Written by: @hutchhitched​

Prompt 137: Friends to lovers road trip au! Katniss wants to take a summer off to explore the country, Peeta volunteers to go with her. Bonus points if one of them is an absolutely oblivious idiot. [submitted by anonymous]

Ratings/Warnings: T

A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. Usually, I travel a lot during the summer, but not so much in 2020. Instead, I wrote this story for you. Enjoy!

___________

  Peeta Mellark sifted through a stack of notes and sighed in frustration. “None of this makes sense anymore,” he grunted. “I thought the point of planning this was to have a, I don’t know, plan or something.”

 Katniss Everdeen, his best friend since their freshman biology class a million years ago, looked at him in amusement and rolled her eyes.

 “I thought you were supposed to be the spontaneous one in this friendship, Mellark” she laughed. “I promised you a road trip, but only if you’ll help me figure out some kind of time frame for when we’ll be back. I have lesson plans to write for the fall, you know. Some of us actually have a schedule. I know this was my idea, but you did agree to join me.”

 Peeta grinned at her mischievous smile and shrugged. He’d been hopelessly in love with her since forever, and she had no idea how excited he was that she’d agreed to him accompanying her on her trip. The fact that she’d told him she wanted to take the summer to explore the US, and he’d called in every favor he could at his job to make this happen was something he’d never admit. He’d had to lobby his editor pretty hard to convince him that Peeta could write his column remotely and that doing so from different tourist destinations would actually strengthen his following rather than diminish it. Haymitch Abernathy only budged when the newspaper’s owner, Effie Trinket, pressured him to agree. Peeta wasn’t about to question Haymitch’s approval. With orders to keep the costs to a minimum and turn in his stuff on time, his boss had told him to report back after Labor Day.

 So, he’d broached the subject with Katniss, hoping she hadn’t been joking when she said she wanted to head out and see all the things she’d never had a chance to in her childhood. He’d been absolutely ecstatic when she’d hugged him hard and thanked him for being her road trip buddy across America. The problem was they had no idea where they were going, no concrete plan, and absolutely no idea how to make a firm decision.

 “Maybe we could start on the East Coast and work our way south first,” he suggested, but she shook her head.

 “I think I’ve done that. I mean, we both grew up in the Appalachians. Didn’t you see about as much of the eastern seaboard as you’ve ever wanted to? I haven’t been to Florida, but it seems kinda similar to the outer banks in North Carolina and the Low Country in South Carolina and Georgia. I’ve definitely been there.”

 “Yeah, I guess you’re right, but it seems like a waste to head due west when we’ve got the time to ramble a bit.”

 “Screw west? What?”

 “Due, Katniss. Due west.”

 “Ah. That makes more sense.” She nodded thoughtfully, but then made a note. “Maybe we can swing back through the South on the way home later in the summer?”

 “Sounds good,” he agreed. “So, we’re going north first?”

 “Maybe just west like you said? I don’t know. I want to see what’s on the other side of the mountains. I’ve never been further than Pittsburgh that direction, and that’s just kind of sad.”

 “So, we’re going to drive through flyover country.”

 “Exactly. Something’s gotta be there, huh?”

 “I guess we’ll figure out why everybody calls it that, anyway.”

 Katniss flipped through an outdated atlas for a few minutes and finally shoved it to the side. She turned her body toward him, and he looked at her, desperately trying to hide his affection. He felt like a heart eye emoji every time she was in the same room.

 “I think we ought to just pack for every situation we can fathom, get in the car tomorrow morning, and start driving. We’ll figure it out then. And we’ll be together, so it can’t be that bad, right?”

 “Right,” he breathed, his heart caught in his chest. “I guess I better go home and pack. Pick you up at 8:00 tomorrow?”

 She leaned over and gave him a hug that made him want to bury his face in her neck and press kisses there until she moaned his name.

 “See you then.”

 He left shortly afterward, walking to his car with a pang in his stomach. He was headed out on an unplanned road trip with the love of his life, and she had no idea how he felt. He had only one thought as he started the car and headed home.

 “I am so screwed.”

 ****

 Bleary-eyed and anxious, Peeta pulled into the Katniss’ driveway at 7:58 am the next morning and honked lightly on the horn. He knew she was up since she’d texted him three times asking him if he was awake and on the way and, oh, would he stop by their favorite coffee shop and pick up pastries and espresso? If he wasn’t half in love with her (okay, completely in love with her), he would have turned off his phone and gone back to sleep.

 Except he wouldn’t. He’d jump out of bed every single day just for a glimpse of her, and that was more truth than he ever wanted to admit when it appeared she had no interest in him outside of their very close friendship.

 Heaving a sigh, he climbed from the car and bounded up the steps to her door to knock three times in rapid succession. It opened, and Peeta had to bite the inside of his right cheek not to embarrass her by telling her how gorgeous she looked. Because she did. She was sleep rumpled, but her face was lit up with excitement. So excited she was practically wiggling, she flung herself at him for a massive hug and then motioned him inside.

 “Are you taking all that?” he asked when he spied the mound of luggage by the door. Or a pile of random stuff was maybe a better way to describe it. There were a couple of boxes, a cooler, a duffel bag, a backpack, and two grocery bags stuffed full of shoes and what looked like swimming paraphernalia.

 She shrugged and walked down the hall to the bathroom. “I packed up some snacks and things I thought we might want, and I have my electronics and some books, and we agreed to pack for any occasion, so I’ve got swimming stuff and a couple of jackets if it gets cold in the mountains, and who knows how hot it’ll get? And hiking boots. I want to do everything, Peeta. Ev-er-y-thing!”

 And could he help it if that shot straight to his dick? Because he wanted to try everything, too, except he wanted to try it all with her. Naked and in bed. Kissing and rubbing together and—

 “I’m so screwed,” he whispered before grabbing her backpack and cooler and stalking out to the car.

 ****

 Katniss hopped into the passenger’s seat with a wide smile and bounced a few times before fastening her seatbelt. She turned to him, glanced at the backseat to make sure she could access everything they might need in the new few hundred miles, and crowed, “Road trip!”

 He couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. It was adorable—she was adorable—and he was suddenly flush with eagerness to spend the next few weeks with her. They hadn’t really decided on how long this would go, just that they would be together and make it up as they went along, but he hoped he had at least three weeks since he had the okay from work to be gone the entire summer. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could stretch it into a month or more. Like Katniss, he hadn’t seen much of the US past the Appalachians, and he was looking forward to discovering what the nation had to offer.

 “So, where are we headed?” he asked, his foot on the brake and hand on the gear shift. She laughed and leaned into his shoulder. He gulped and swallowed hard at the feel of her soft skin against his arm.

 “I thought maybe we’d head out of town first,” she teased.

 He shot her a wry smile and rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you. Very informative, as always. Which highway?”

 She turned fully to face him and tucked her left leg up on the seat. Her eyes sparkled, and she leaned toward him as she wiggled in her seat.

 “Where have you always wanted to go?”

 “Anywhere with you,” he said softly and then snapped his mouth shut. He hadn’t meant to say it, but she was so adorable. She’d never understood the effect she had on him, but he was powerless to resist her pull. Whatever power she had over him had only grown over time, and he wanted to spend every day of the rest of his life with her. If not that, then he wanted to freeze this very moment in time and live in it forever.

 “So kind,” she scoffed, “but I’m serious, Peeta. I’ve never been further west than Pittsburgh, unless Nashville counts. What’s out there, anyway?”

 “I have no idea,” he murmured, but that didn’t matter to him. What he wanted was right in the car with him, even if she had no idea how he felt, or how he’d felt about her for the past ten years.

 With a shrug, he put the car in reverse, backed out of her driveway, and headed for I-64. After all, it took them due west.

 ****

 Peeta glanced over at the woman sitting in the passenger seat and asked for what felt like the hundredth time, “Okay?”

 Katniss nodded, the ghost of a smile twitching on her lips. The windows were partially down, and a breeze blew through the locks of hair that had escaped from her braid. They were somewhere in central Kentucky, and he felt like he’d won the lottery.

 Lush forests of deciduous trees graced the sides of steeply sloped mountains that fell to a valley in which the interstate bordered a swiftly flowing river. Wildflowers sprung from cracks in rock along the side of the road, and the air smelled fresh, a little like spring and also a bit similar to a summer barbeque right before a thunderstorm. It was humid and sticky, but the circulation kept them from sweating too much. Besides, they were saving a shit ton of gas by not running the air conditioner.

 “Want me to drive?” she asked, and he glanced over at her. Her cheek rested against the headrest as she looked at him, and his stomach dropped to his knees. She was so beautiful.

 “At the next stop, sure,” he managed and shifted in his seat. If he left himself, he’d start imagining scenarios that would only get him in trouble—some in which she leaned over and did more with her mouth than talking, and that seemed disrespectful to his friend.

 “How much longer do you want to go today? I mean, the whole point of this is to see what’s out there, and we won’t be able to when it gets darker.”

 “Is there some place you want to stop? Anything catching your eye?”

 “Not really. This is pretty, but we don’t have to stay on the interstates if you don’t want to. They make the trip faster, but that’s not really the point, is it?”

 He nodded and watched the signs for a few miles before signaling and exiting. He needed to use the restroom, and he wanted to take a look at the map and figure out where exactly they were in relations to a place he’d gone with his family when he was young. They were in the general vicinity of somewhere that held special memories for him, and he wanted to make some new ones with his best friend.

 Once they were back in the car, Katniss in the driver’s seat this time, he handed her the keys and suggested they head south on the highway instead of getting on the entrance ramp. When her eyes sparkled, he knew he’d made the right suggestion. They’d been traveling for over five hours, and they’d done nothing more than watch the scenery pass outside the window. It was time to be part of it.

 It took another 45 minutes or so until he saw the sign, and he directed her to the second exit into Daniel Boone National Forest. Back when he was younger and his parents still pretended to like each other, they’d taken a family vacation and stayed at the park for a few days. He and his two brothers had hiked and played happily for hours, and that time was still one of his favorite memories from when his family was together.

 “It’s beautiful,” Katniss gasped as she pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. “We’re going for a hike, right?”

 “Yeah, sure. I mean, if you want to. I came here with my family when I was younger, and that trail has a little waterfall at the end, if I remember right.”

 They changed quickly into their hiking boots and set off through the woods. It wasn’t a tough hike over slightly sloped and fairly wide space. They met other couples and families, many holding hands, and Peeta yearned to reach for Katniss and walk with her hand folded against his. They got to the waterfall by late afternoon and took the time to sit quietly and listen to the wind in the trees. Visitors popped in and out, but they didn’t mind the intrusions. Eventually, each left, and they had the place to themselves for a little while before another group stumbled into the clearing to see the falling water. Eventually, though, the sun dropped further in the sky, and Peeta suggested they head back to the car, find a place to stay for the night so they could shower, and then grab dinner. The snacks they’d had in the car during the drive just wouldn’t satisfy him after such a long day.

 It took a little while, but they finally stumbled upon a small mom and pop hotel in a tiny out of the way town. Peeta offered to get their luggage while Katniss checked them in, so when he followed her to room 415, he wasn’t prepared for what faced him. Katniss worked the key (an actual key, not a keycard) into the lock and opened the door. Her surprised, “oh!” should have been enough for him to figure it out, but he still gaped when he stepped into the room and saw…

 There was only one bed.

 Flustered, he offered to ask for another room, but Katniss waved him off like it didn’t matter. She reminded him that they’d fallen asleep on the couch together dozens of times since they’d known each other.

 “This won’t be any different,” she insisted and grabbed her toiletry bag and some fresh clothes. “I’m going to shower, and then you promised me dinner.”

 Peeta watched her retreating back and sank onto the lone bed. Bouncing a little bit on the firm mattress, he looked to the ceiling and whispered, “I’m so screwed.”

 ****

 Dinner was lovely, if Peeta said so himself, and he did. It wasn’t much, really just a local family diner with a menu focused on home cooking and large portions, but it left them both full and satisfied. Better than that, they’d talked a lot. It probably helped that they were facing instead of sitting next to each other in the car. He was grateful for the laughs and intimacy over the meal, but now he sat on the edge of the mattress, his leg shaking as he waited for Katniss to finish in the bathroom.

 Because, did he mention? There was only one bed.

 The bathroom door opened, and he shot up to standing. Katniss tossed him a distracted smile as she crossed the room. She wore ragged sweats and wrinkled t-shirt he’d seen her in a hundred times, so at least he didn’t have to worry about her wearing some sort of lingerie (not that he would have expected that since they’d always planned to share a hotel room, if not a bed).

 “I’ll just…” He trailed off and waved toward the bathroom, and she nodded while scrolling through her phone.

 He stared at himself in the mirror and berated the image there for being so awkward. This was Katniss. They’d been friends for forever, and he loved her deeply. This wasn’t that big of a deal. She’d camped out on his couch dozens of times, and they’d woken up together with no problem at all. There was no reason to think this would be any different.

 The light was off in the room when he emerged from the bathroom and made his way to his side of the bed. Carefully, he pulled back the covers and climbed in, careful to keep himself on his half. When he was settled on his back, he glanced over at Katniss to see her back to him.

 “G’night,” she murmured, and he returned the sentiment before nestling below the covers and falling asleep after several long minutes during which he cursed his overactive imagination.

 He slept dreamless until just before waking, when he envisaged driving a car through a red-sanded desert. The car sped down a hill, and he pressed the brake a few times before admitting to himself that they weren’t working. Panicked, he looked to his right to see Katniss with a smile on her face as the wind blew through her hair. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as they charged toward a rock wall.

 Bolting upright in bed, he gasped and shook at the vividness of the dream. Katniss still slept next to him, her hair splayed around her head on the pillow and her legs tangled with his. She remained on her side of the bed otherwise. She hadn’t cuddled into him overnight, and he wondered if he should be relieved or disappointed. He decided to allow himself a little of both and quietly untangled himself from her and made his way to the bathroom. The last thing he needed was for Katniss to wake before he could get his anatomy under control.

 Once the door was closed behind him, he breathed out for several seconds. His morning wood was uncomfortable, so he spent a few minutes attempting to quell it. Unfortunately, his mind continually flitted to the image of Katniss lying in the bed, her face angelic, and her hair fashioning a halo around her head. After a few minutes, he turned on the shower and stepped inside. Cold water should do the trick.

 A few minutes later, he was clean and completely unsatisfied but in control ready for breakfast. Katniss sat on the edge of the bed, bleary-eyed and grumpy. When he greeted her, she grunted and stumbled to the bathroom without a word.

 “So, further west today?” he asked when they had checked out and snagged a booth at the local Waffle House. He’d forgotten how good and cheap the breakfasts were there, and he inhaled a stack of pancakes and some ham while she picked at an omelet. He studied her over his coffee and then stole a sip of her orange juice. When she didn’t protest, he nudged her foot with his. “What’s wrong?”

 She shook herself and managed a wan smile. “Nothing. Just tired. I didn’t sleep great last night.”

 “We don’t have to go as far today. We can take it easy.”

 “Sure. That sounds good. I’ll take the first shift.”

 She drove silently, while he studied the map, both physical and on his phone. He guided her back to the interstate and then pulled out his laptop and typed a few notes. They helped him organize his thoughts and gave him an excuse to stay quiet.

 “What’s there to see in Paducah?” she asked, startling him from his bubble.

 He shrugged and typed the city into his phone. He glanced at the map for a few seconds and then offered, “There’s a local brewery. We could check it out. Stay there tonight. Not in the brewery. In Paducah, I mean.”

 That turned out to be the perfect plan. They checked into a hotel (two beds this time) and walked several blocks to the brewery where they found a table and ordered. The beer helped them both relax, and it wasn’t long before they were chatting and laughing like normal.

 “So, Paducah’s now the furthest west you’ve ever been. Feel any different?”

 “Totally. My life is complete.” When he laughed, she continued, “I mean, no. It doesn’t feel much different. What does feel new is this trip at all. I’ve never really done this—strike out on a whim and let the road take me where it wants to. It feels good to let go of all that control. Thanks for giving me the chance to do that.”

 “Of course. I’d do anything for you. You know that.”

 “Uh, I hate to tell you this, but there’s a woman over there that looks like she really wants to do a few things to you,” Katniss said and pointed her half-empty glass over his shoulder. He glanced behind him and gulped.

 “Wow. She’s undressing me with her eyes, isn’t she? That’s bold, since I’m here with you.”

 “Yeah, but you’re not really here with me, are you? I can make myself scarce if you want to…” she trailed off suggestively, and he fought to keep his face blank. He didn’t need another reminder that she didn’t see him as anything more than a friend, but here it was. God, it hurt. Every single time she expressed her lack of interest, it broke his heart a little bit more.

 “I really don’t.”

 “You might not have much of a choice. She’s headed over.”

 Panicked, he gulped his beer and beseeched her, “Feel free to be my girlfriend. Save me!”

 She snorted just as the woman appeared at their side, and the stranger dismissed Katniss with a disdainful glance before speaking to him. “Hey, there, handsome,” she drawled. “I’m Glimmer. Can I buy you a round?”

 “Uh, well, I—”

 “Excuse me,” Katniss said and slid off her stool. He watched helplessly as she made her way to the restroom and left him alone with his unwanted guest.

 “Now, that we’re alone,” Glimmer purred and ran her hand over his forearm. She settled into the vacated stool and smiled widely. “So, what’s your name, honey?”

 If he wasn’t already head over heels in love with his best friend, he might find this woman and her southern accent charming, but that wasn’t the case. He didn’t want this washed out version of a companion. He wanted Katniss. He hemmed and hawed for several minutes, attempting to discourage her without being rude, but she was more insistent than he liked. He caught Katniss’ eye as she stood by the bar ordering a beer and shot her a pointed look. Thankfully, she seemed to get the point. She paid for her two beers and threaded her way back to him.

 “I got you another, babe.”

 He grabbed the glass and thanked her, but Glimmer still didn’t take the hint. He introduced the two half-heartedly and watched with humor as Katniss studied Glimmer and thanked her for keeping Peeta company while she was gone.

 “I think he’d like me to stick around,” Glimmer said pointedly, and Katniss turned to him.

 “Is that so?” And then she leaned in to kiss him.

 Shocked, Peeta didn’t know what to do at first. The kiss remained chaste for a few seconds, but his mouth opened involuntarily. She didn’t hesitate to sweep in with her tongue. She pressed into him, and he let go of his beer to cup her face as he tangled his lips with hers.

 Suddenly, Katniss broke away and grinned at him while he gaped at her. “You’re welcome.”

 He blinked a few times and realized Glimmer was gone. Katniss resumed her seat and calmly took a sip of her drink and then suggested some options for the next day. Peeta ducked his head and pretended to listen. Now that he knew how she tasted, he had no idea how he was going to be content remaining friends. After a few minutes, he excused himself so he could regroup in the bathroom. There he faced himself in the mirror and whispered his road trip mantra.

 “I am so screwed.”

 ****

 The next day they crossed the Mississippi River and stopped briefly in St. Louis to visit the Gateway Arch and eat, even though the barbeque was different than what they were used to. Both preferred the vinegar base and coleslaw of the Carolinas, but what they had wasn’t bad either. When the waiter asked for feedback, he suggested continuing on I-70 and comparing what they’d had for lunch with that in Kansas City.

 “It’s sweeter. Almost caramelizes on the meat. You might like it, and it doesn’t hurt to try different styles if you don’t really have an agenda.”

 That was how they ended up in an upscale hotel near downtown Kansas City and eating ribs and burnt ends for the second time that day.

 “This is definitely better,” Peeta groaned through a mouthful of pork, and Katniss agreed.

 “So, I’ve been thinking,” she mused. “We��re pretty deep into the Midwest, and nothing really looks much different, right? I think we should slow down. We’re halfway across the country, and we’ve been gone three days.”

 “I’m okay with that,” he agreed.

 “I vote for staying here for a few nights. Relaxing, sight-seeing, swimming, maybe putting together a little more of a plan. Eventually, I want to make it to the west coast. Drive up and down the Pacific Coast Highway, maybe see the redwoods, but there’s about a zillion national parks between here and there. Can we go? Please?”

 “Of course, we can. We can visit whatever you want. I told you I’m all in before we started this thing.”

 A smile split her face, and she threw her arms around him. “Thank you, Peeta.”

 He gathered her to him and held her to his chest for several minutes before she pulled away. He didn’t even bother to say it out loud this time. He simply closed his eyes and internally chided, “I am so screwed.”

 ****

 A week later, Peeta wanted to die. If he’d thought he loved Katniss before, he was irrevocably, head over heels, undyingly in love with her now. Waking up with her day after day, sometimes in the same bed, sometimes just in the same room, was excruciating. She was grumpy and irritable in the morning, but it was absolutely adorable. He loved watching her let loose and enjoy herself more than he’d ever experienced back home in Virginia. They shared more than they ever had and dug up memories he hadn’t even remembered until she punched something loose in the back of his brain. Before long, it seemed like she knew, not just his mind, but his entire soul.

 It was so easy with her. He felt like his best self with her, and his writing was flourishing. She talked through lesson plans and ideas about how to arrange her classroom and shared her thoughts about moving into counseling as a better way to help her students. They talked about their families, their current lives and what they imagined for the future, and she told him about her past boyfriends and asked about his girlfriends.

 Sometimes, Katniss looked at him while he drove. He often wondered what she was thinking, but he didn’t have the guts to ask. He relished the feel of her skin under his fingertips when she handed him snacks from the vastly depleted stash in the backseat, and he gave himself a bruise pinching himself when she wore one of his t-shirts the day they stopped to do laundry in a small town in eastern Colorado. He drove where she suggested and snapped pictures of her in front of breathtaking scenery and took selfies of them both when she asked. When she shivered in the mountains in Colorado, he shielded her from the wind by holding her against his chest, and he groaned gratefully when she rubbed his tight shoulders at the end of the day. By the time they made it to Wyoming, they’d stopped correcting the hotel clerks who automatically booked them to single rooms. It saved money, and neither of them minded that there was only one bed when they got to their room.

 “This may be the most beautiful place I’ve ever been,” Katniss announced when they stopped in the Grand Tetons. They’d agreed to spend a week exploring Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park, and neither of them regretted it. The views were spectacular, and the weather was perfect.

 “It’s gorgeous,” he agreed, but he wasn’t looking at the view. He tried to shift his gaze when she turned to look at him, but he was frozen, unable to tear his eyes from hers.

 He could tell when she figured it out. Awareness dawned on her face, and he held his breath. Terrified, he shifted back and forth and tried to wave it away, but she stepped toward him and grabbed his wrist.

 “Peeta?”

 “I’m s-sorry,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean— I, uh— See, I wasn’t—”

 She waited quietly when he ground to a halt, but his stomach and heart were both ripped open wide. She didn’t feel the same way. He’d always known that, but now she was going to say it, and he wasn’t prepared.

 “Can I try something?” He was too dismayed to answer, so he nodded and held still. “I just want to see.”

 A soft breeze ruffled his hair as she stepped toward him and tugged him down by his shirt. His face was an inch from hers, and she studied him carefully before closing the gap and kissing him softly. He breathed through his nose and allowed her to lead, but she pulled away before it deepened. Disappointed, he couldn’t help comparing it to the one back in Paducah in the overcrowded brewery with Glimmer as a witness.

 “It’s really beautiful here, but I’d like to be back to the car before sunset. Can we go? Don’t want to get caught in the park by mistake,” she asked, her voice cool and detached.

 “Sure,” he agreed. He followed her as she started down the mountain, trailing far enough behind that he could shield his regret. He’d always held out a little bit of a hope that she’d return his feelings someday, but that didn’t seem to be in the cards. She was as unaffected by their kiss as he was destroyed by it.

 Making sure she didn’t hear, he hissed, “I’m so screwed,” at least five times through the ache in his chest.

 By the time they got to his car, he was barely holding it together. He started the vehicle, backed out of the parking spot, and headed to their hotel. The thought of sleeping next to her that night was almost more than he could bear, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Sighing, he turned up the volume on the radio and concentrated on driving since the steep, winding roads necessitated more attention than usual.

 A few miles from their hotel, the radio faded into static, and he reached to change the station before resting his hand on the gear shift between the seats. When they pulled into the hotel lot, and he shifted into park, he was shocked when she covered his hand with hers. Twisting his palm, she tangled her fingers with his and stared at them for long, tense moments.

 “Katniss?” he croaked. She didn’t respond at first, but then she squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

 “Let’s go in,” she said softly.

 He swallowed hard and studied her face. “Are you sure?”

 She nodded and unfolded herself from the car. She was already to the door of their room before he could move. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she slipped inside. A second later, the curtains closed and the door cracked open again. Peeta watched as her hand emerged and hooked the Do Not Disturb sign on the handle.

 “Oh, God,” he breathed and scrambled from the car. “I am so screwed!”

[tea-at-221]

So, let's delve a bit into the Spanish dub of Supernatural.

I'm going to go through a lot of terms here, and a lot of basics, in order to increase people's level of understanding as to how the dub may possibly have come about the way it did.

This post will provide information and, I hope, allow some members of the fandom to move forward with their own theories with more reassurance. Information is power. I will define and clarify industry terms to the best of my novice ability to make it easier for others who wish to do their own research.

This post was inspired by the fact that I've been part of multiple fandoms in which queerbaiting has played an enormous part: I am tired of seeing fandom friends left devastated and without answers, no emotional resolution in sight. So this post is, in spirit if not content, largely dedicated to my fellow Johnlockers and Queliot shippers. And most of all, for Quentin Coldwater, who deserved not just better but the very best.

Disclaimer: This is my own research and there is a bit of speculation involved; I can't guarantee 100% that I will get everything right (I hit some very frustrating walls looking up what should be easy-to-find facts), but I did a *lot* of work for this. Other people will doubtless be able to clarify points/give better specifics/correct what I've gotten wrong. I am not promising a concrete answer to “SPN gate” here, as without more information than we currently have that is impossible to declare with certainty.

More under the cut.

All that having been said, onwards (see end for sources):

First, who airs the Spanish dub of Supernatural?

Answer: the Warner Channel.

Why? It goes back to who owns The CW.

From Wikipedia (2): "The CW Network, LLC, a limited liability joint venture between the CBS Entertainment Group unit of ViacomCBS; and the Studios and Networks division of AT&T's WarnerMedia, the parent company of Warner Bros., former majority owner of The WB. The network's name is an abbreviation derived from the first letters of the names of its two parent corporations (CBS and Warner Media)."

Warner Bros apparently is the side that handles the delegation of dubbing to outside studios. So, who does Warner use for their dubbing? Perhaps multiple studios, but the two I found in the course of my research were SPGStudios(5) (who specifically handle localization for Latin American Spanish productions) and Iyuno Media Group (formerly BTI Studios)(3).

What is localization?

Simply put, it refers to the translation of the home language of the show in question to the language of the new market it's entering. So, Supernatural 15x18 is translated from its native English to Spanish for Latin American viewers.

And what exactly *is* dubbing (actually called revoicing within the industry; dubbing is a widely-recognized term, however, and it's pretty well understood what is meant by it)?

Here is the Merriam-Webster definition:

"1 : to add (sound effects or new dialogue) to a film or to a radio or television production —usually used with "in"

They dubbed in the music.

2 : to provide (a motion-picture film) with a new soundtrack and especially dialogue in a different language

The film was dubbed in French and Spanish.

3 : to make a new recording of (sound or videotape already recorded) also : to mix (recorded sound or videotape from different sources) into a single recording"

There is a slang term, "dubby," which refers to any overdub that is comically jarring and obviously a dub. The history of dubbing has been such that this has become a way to think of and recognize it: by how awful and ineffective it used to be when it came to foreign films sloppily overlaid with English dubbing.

However, we are in the midst of an age of networks and companies scrambling to play catch-up, eager to use modern technology to create more effective, convincing dubs. In short, they see the moneymaking potential of presenting finished works that viewers may not even realize *are* dubbed without careful inspection. It's true that a good dub is about 10x more costly than subtitling, but it's hard to satisfy the viewer's desire for escapism if they can't suspend disbelief because they're busy reading.

The truth of that is reflected in internal statistics Netflix (for instance, but not just them) parses to gauge viewer interaction and retention with their various shows: when comparing subtitled vs. dubbed shows, it's easy to see which is the winner.(1)

So to be sure there is no nefarious intent here, we would need to be able to identify the following:

A.) What exactly was the process for this dub?

B.) Who decides what changes to make during a dubbing process?

C.) Who approves those changes?

*Can* there be such a thing as a "rogue translator," as Misha Collins put it? (I am going to clarify here that I think Misha is an upstanding person who believed the best of the show he was involved in and all the people who made it, so his assumption of a rogue translator makes sense in the context of that emotion-based reasoning).

I'm not sure which studio did the dub for the Latin American Spanish version of Supernatural; if I had access to that episode perhaps it's mentioned in the credits. You'd think that would be simple enough to figure out anyway, but I was unable. So maybe someone can take a look and let me know. But, as an example, here is how SPGStudios outlines their localization (dubbing) process:

1.) They make a digital or analog transcription of a show/movie.

2.) The translation, or localization, is done by their staff (in any of 40 available languages their staff can speak). When translating, they translate for meaning and then adapt for time, tempo, and style. They say that "extensive experience is required to capture the essence of the language dialog while accounting for variances in speaking time between the source and destination languages." i.e.,  wording/word choice will be kept as true as possible to the original intention of the native language, but at the same time the translation will need to use its chosen wording in a way that fits what is being shown on-screen. To produce a convincing/pleasing dub, they won't replace a word like "looked" with a longer phrase like "scanned the horizon" because it's not going to match what's onscreen. That would be venturing into "dubby" territory.

3.) They perform the ADR process: the voice actors (in this case it would normally be Guillermo Rojas performing for Dean Winchester, though it appears things may have been different in 15x18, possibly due to covid) record the new dialogue to replace the original actor's performance.

4.) The newly recorded dialogue goes to the sound editorial department "to ensure that lip-synch is optimized and technical aspects of the vocal performance match the original."

5.) All of the new audio--including dialogue, music, and sound effects--is mixed together to emulate the quality of the original production as closely as possible despite the changes in rhythm that resulted from the dialog having been translated.

6.) Designers, animators, and VFX editors assist with the localization or enhancement of graphics, if needed.

7.) Localized Master: SPG has a 'traffic team' who 'ensures that all client delivery and storage specifications are met, including file formatting, labeling, and uploading." So in other words, the files are heavily encrypted (or that's how I read this).

Presumably, after all steps are performed, SPGStudios transfers the show back to Warner, who then distributes it. The other studio, Iyuno, makes it very clear that *they* can coordinate and handle all distribution themselves to a vast number of networks. That means that if the client desires, Iyuno can send the finished product directly out into the world.

There seem to be two types of scripts that can be given to the dubbing company:

1.) "In-Production Dubbing indicates that dubbing production is active in tandem with post production. In-Production Dubbing fulfillment partners should expect potential changes to source materials."(4)

2.) "Final Asset Dubbing indicates that dubbing production takes place after final delivery of the show. All source assets will be in a final state. The dubbing fulfillment partner should not expect any changes to the source materials."(4)

Without knowing which of these was agreed upon for SPN 15x18, it is very hard to say exactly where or if additional edits may have been performed on the original material that weren't performed on the translated material (in other words, earlier draft).

If the studio was given the episode as an In-Production Dubbing project, this could explain why the title of the Spanish translation reflected the original script title, "The Truth," rather than the final title in English, "Despair".

Assuming this difference was unintentional, rather than a calculated marketing ploy re: audience enticement (which seems admittedly unlikely), then yes, it could indicate a screw-up on someone's part. The question is, was the dub company given the task of generating the title card, or did some other graphics department handle that before the project made it to them? If the latter is the case, the choice to add "Me too" instead of "Don't do this, Cas" could be either a conscious choice on the dub studio's part as sort of a nod to what they thought "the truth" was, or could just be them going with what they were given and making their translation choices based on something else, such as rhythm/timing.

SO, could there have been an original script that had Dean say "me too" in response to Cas, which then went through translation and made it out into the world? Teeechnically yes, but one would assume that the original script and original *footage* would have to have arrived at the dub studio together if the script is being transcribed in-house as SPGSTudios outlines in their process. I'm going to reason that the odds of them using a later edit of the visual--one that contained what in this instance we would be assuming was Warner's preferred dialogue ("Don't do this, Cas") yet choosing to stick with their own audio revoicing of the (supposed) original script/visual's "Me too, Cas" with its now subsequently poor timing, seems unlikely.

So either they would likely have to redo the exact same "Me too" audio again (having made the choice to keep the original dialogue, while also having to work under pandemic restrictions re: travel and talent availability) to make everything match the visual footage time-wise, OR, it was simply a matter that the English scene always was just as we saw it, but that the studio chose to interpret the script the way they did and were able to do their timing the first time around to match accordingly.

This still leaves a question in the air regarding the origin and fate of certain clips of Dean's more visually emotive reaction to Castiel's confession that have been floating around the internet. I've only seen very very brief glimpses of them, myself, and I'm not certain that they're really evidence of anything other than more than one take having been done of that scene, which wouldn't be uncommon and doesn't necessarily point to a conspiracy.

I also want to state that in the wake of 15x18, I opted to protect my mental health rather than follow every development/rumor/speculation that cropped up in the aftermath, so there’s probably a lot that I’m leaving out of this post that may be pertinent. Do me a favor and do assume that I know nothing of it. lol

I will also add this about the other studio, Iyuno: they are very careful to state on their site, repeatedly and with great pride, that they are committed to presenting the world with the smoothest, most true-to-the-original localized version of a film or show possible. Quote: "...our entire team of staff wants nothing more than to make every single one of our partner's content feel as if it were never translated." They are not fucking around. They want to please the client. Would they have done something like the translation in question without any direct go-ahead from Warner? It seems unlikely, though they don't outline their process on their site the way SPG does.

Notice that in the SPGStudios process outlined above, there is no mention made of a review step in which the studio presents the translated dialogue to the client for approval re: the new wording. That doesn't mean there isn't a review step; however, without seeing the contractual agreement that was made between Warner and whatever dub studio they used, or knowing Warner's preferred process by some other means, it's difficult to be certain whether or not there was a review process for the translated script. I did find evidence that Netflix reserves the right to review such translated scripts before air.

Speaking of Netflix, I will include here what their translation requirements are, as I did find those. They, like Warner, also use Iyuno Media Group much of the time for dubbing (voiceover style dubbing in which they apparently like to leave the original language audible underneath, so that's slightly different from revoicing, but I'm working on an assumption that the general expectations are the same for both):(4)

"1. Translation Requirements

1.1 Main Dialogue

   All main dialogue in the source (original) language should be translated unless specifically noted.

   Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot.

   Please refrain from dubbing redundant words such as character names and repetitions.

       Additionally, do not recreate laughs, hesitations, reaction noises, etc."

I'm looking at that bit: "Due to timing limitations, some of the dialogue may be condensed/truncated as long as it retains all essential elements of the plot."

So let's say just for argument's sake that this is pretty standard language provided to the dubbing studios. Netflix is a giant, so I'll proceed with that assumption given the lack of more concrete information:

Does it really change essential elements of the remaining plot to have Dean return Castiel's declaration of love? Forgetting about the outside, emotional ripple effect such a declaration was bound to set off in the viewing audience, no. The two characters have no further scenes together, nor does Dean go on in the next episode to immediately embark on a new relationship, or tell anyone that Cas said he was in love with him but he couldn't return it because he didn't feel the same. So technically, no rule was broken. And that is what it comes down to, if you're thinking like a lawyer reading a contract: specifics, not theoretical implications or consequences.

So, possibly what we have is something that was simple to add and easy to get away with/argue for: translated dialog that fit a dub better due to its length, and didn't actually change anything plot-wise (or at least, the argument for that could easily be made). This points to the painful crux of the matter: why would the Spanish version of Supernatural which aired in Latin America allow Dean Winchester to return Castiel's declaration of love with a "Me too, Cas"? Could it *really* be as insulting as the fact that "Yo a ti, Cas" would be a quicker, smoother dub than "No hagas esto, Cas"? ("Don't do this, Cas" in English.) Or did they see something they could get away with, and a reasonable argument to provide for it, so they went ahead and claimed a small LGBT+ victory?

Is someone, somewhere, getting in trouble for all this? Maybe. But could action be taken against them? That would look pretty bad, public-relations-wise, for the party expressing condemnation if that got out. Could Iyuno, or whatever other studio (again, I don't actually know which one handled the dub) theoretically feel a ripple effect from the fallout of this? Could they quietly suffer a drop in acquisitions/revenue for "reasons unclear"? Sure. That sort of thing happens all the time, so theoretically yeah.

Whatever the reasoning behind the decision to have Dean return Cas' declaration of love, surely they didn't have to do it. Surely they could have chosen some other phrase that fit. But they chose to do exactly what they did. I don't know what went down, in the end, or whether censorship was indeed involved, but I will certainly say that I think it was a brave and admirable choice that was made with the Spanish dub. It doesn't undo the "bury your gays" trope of course, but for some LGBT+ audience members it surely provides a sense of validation and maybe even lends a little hope for better representation--which is long, long overdue.

Thanks if you read this far. I hope that even though it’s not perfect it will be helpful in some way.

Sources

(1) https://www.indiewire.com/2020/02/subtitles-vs-dubbing-what-you-need-to-know-1202212800/amp

(2) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_CW

(3) https://www.iyunomg.com/

(4) https://partnerhelp.netflixstudios.com/hc/en-us/articles/115016062708-Dubbed-Audio-Style-Guide-VO-Style-Dubbing

(5) https://www.spgstudios.com/localization

[gayenerd]

1993 interview in Blunt magazine, which was apparently a skating and snowboarding magazine and explains all the questions about skating. 

Green Day Interview, by Damon Way and Mark Waters

Written November, 1993, published in Blunt Magazine, Spring, 1994. 

 (Editor's note, May 2000: Although a lot of this stands as a pretty remedial interview, stony and silly at times, there are also parts that are quite interesting and amusing when considering the context of the events that have happened since. This interview took place while the band was in San Diego on tour, and while they were in negotiations for their contract with Warner Brothers.)

Green Day is the kind of band that music listeners hold dear to their heart. A band that is so good, the lucky few who knew about them early on can't help but wonder "Why isn't this band blaring out of everyone's cars at full volume?" Yet while these people wonder this, they also take a  certain pride in knowing that they listened to that band first. And hell, once the band becomes popular, it takes some of the charm away. It's happened a hundred times.

Green Day will be the next band to be popular enough to scare away a few fans. Mixing melody and energy with easy-to-sing tunes, Green Day has hit the winning combination. Damon Way interviewed Green Day earlier this year to find out more about this trio. The band is from Berkeley, and Mike plays bass, Tre plays drums, and Billie Joe plays guitar and sings.

Blunt: So, where do we start?

Mike: Let's start with a how-you-doing-I-haven't-seen you-in-a-while?

Tre:Yeah, man.

B: How did your tour go?

Mike: Good. I stuck Eight Ball and Droors stickers all over the U.S. Kids would ask me if I skate and I'd tell 'em 'Yeah, I'm sponsored.'

Tre: I would say 'I don't skate, man, I shred.'

B: What do you guys like best about skateboarding?

Tre: I like that high energy that makes you feel like you're fourteen again, fucking up your toenails.

Mike: I like the idea of knocking down old ladies as they're walking out with their groceries.

Tre: Most skaters steal things.

 Mike: All skaters are theives.

Tre: Well, we could say most skaters steal things.

Billie: They have these big clothes so they can walk through a store and take anything they want and they'll never know. There is so much extra space that they can even frisk and not find anything.

Tre: I know a guy in Cleveland who does heroin and wears big clothes. He steals meat and sells it on the black market and gets money for heroin. I swear to God.

B: Do you guys like snowboarding?

All: Oh yeah, man we shred.

Tre: I'm the mogul master.

B: Once again, how did the tour go?

Mike: It was wonderful, we had a great time.

Tre: We're sorry Louisville. Who else are we sorry for?

 Mike: We're sorry we were sick all over the place. We had bronchitis and walking pneumonia.

Billie: We're sorry Salt Lake City.

B: What was your best show?

Billie: Soma in San Diego.

Tre: I don't know, but we played plenty of places where skating was against the law.

B: What did you think of Soma?

Tre: The owner has a nice car and a cellular phone.

B: Are you into meeting girls on tour?

Mike: Yeah, I met my girlfriend.

Tre: Yeah, I met your mom.

B: What do you guys do on an average day up in Berkeley?

Mike: Wake up and do bong hits.

Tre and Billie: Burn bowls.

B: Do you still listen to Metallica?

Tre: Yeah, man, I still do.

Mike: I'm from the same town, I have to.

B: What other bands do you like?

Tre and Billie: Tilt.

Mike: Tilt is a great band but the Potato Men suck.

B: What bands did you play with on tour?

Tre: A band called Judge Nothing. They helped us dookie the pot.

Billie: I dookied in a girls' pot.

Mike: I pissed in her ice trays.

Tre: I put eggs behind her couch and rubbed them in.

B: What do you think of the hardcore scene?

Mike: I'm not really into pornos myself.

B: Do you think punk is coming back?

Billie: The thing is that punk has always been here it's just that MTV has monopolized the whole thing, inspiring the mainstream to look a little more punk than usual. Like how Motley Crue kicked out Vince Neil because they wanted a singer who was more punk. And Lars Ulrich shaved his head and grew a goatee.

B: So what's up with getting signed to a major label?

Billie: We're doing it man. We've been talking to Ian MacKaye and we're going to do a little thing on Dischord. We have to change our lyrics though. Make them address political issues.

 B: What do you think a major will do to you guys?

Tre: Fuck us in the ass.

Billie: Probably ream us. I'm open for a rim job, though.

B: Do you think they'll try to clean you up and throw you on MTV?

Tre: I don 't think they'll clean us up because our next record is going to have swear words in every other song.

B: Do you think you will be promoted like Nirvana was?

Billie: I hope not man. It just seems like everyone was hoping to find the  next Nirvana. I want to be completely separate from the whole grunge thing. I don't even think the whole so-called grunge people are even into being called grunge. We played in Florida and this guy with a TV camera, who was totally dressed up in a suit and was from the Fox Network was asking us, "So what is grunge and what does it mean to you?" We were like, "This sucks."

B: What do you think of Rocket From The Crypt?

Tre: I saw a guy with his whole back done up with tattoos, so I guess they must be pretty good. They got paid a lot of money so they've got to be the next Nirvana, or someones going to be really screwed because it was something like $750,000.

B: What kind of equipment do you guys have?

Mike: I've got a bunch of broken down basses. I just got a Gibson Les Paul and the neck twisted on me five days later because of the humidity in Florida. I also have a Gibson G-3 that's broken. I have the one I was playing tonight that broke during the show.

Billie: I have one guitar (a Stratocaster) and it's the one that I use all the time and it's fucked up.

B: Have you ever broken any equipment on stage?

Tre: I just kicked my cymbal stand and broke my high hat.

Mike: On this tour I've broken four basses, four straps, and my speaker cabinet. I've also blown two heads before.

 B: What other stuff are you into besides the band?

Mike: Camping and living life to the fullest.

Billie: Legalization of marijuana or anything productive. People should  just do what the fuck they want.

B: Are you vegetarians?

All: Yes.

B: Any last words?

Billie: Live hard, die young.