#The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling

[ohifonlyx33]

is ttpd/anthology my favorite taylor swift album? eh, not really.

but the multitudes of angsty fanfic plots and titles contained within it is truly unlimited.

like each song has at least 3 lyrics that could spawn a couple different WIPs for the right fandoms.

[firstprinced]

woke up and was immediately haunted by the bridge of how did it end

[missegyptiana]

SAY IT. ONCE. AGAIN. WITH FEELING. HOW. THE. DEATH. RATTLE BREATHING. SILENCED. AS. THE. SOUL. WAS LEAVING. THE DEFLATION. OF. OUR. DREAMING. LEAVING ME. BEREFT. AND REELING. MY BELOVED. GHOST. AND. ME. SITTING. IN A. TREE.

D-Y-I-N-G

[dazzlinhaze]

the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling⋆. 𐙚 ˚

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

My brain is on fire same I can’t sleep and am thinking of this:

The way she writes about marriage/family/commitment through these different situations across the album is soooooooooo interesting.

You have a very intense first experience of it in “The Manuscript,” where it is first dangled in front of her/the narrator’s young, impressionable self as shorthand for real love in a situation that ended up being smoke and mirrors. She’s being told everything she wants to hear by someone who basically thinks it’s just foreplay. In the end, when it’s clear that the other person has no intention of actually making a life with her, it makes her feel used, but she forces herself to recalibrate and become the girl she thinks he and all the other hes want her to be. Easy breezy cool. But there’s a sense of loss in realizing those hopes were merely banter to the other.

You have the “grown up” version of it alluded to in “So Long, London” and “How Did It End?”, the years of putting in work to save a relationship and the “deflation of our dreaming leaving [her] bereft and reeling” leading to them “calling it all off.” The implication is clearly that they built a home together with plans for next steps at a point in time, but the commitment is shattered. (Obviously to me it sounds like marriage.) She’s bitter at spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately didn’t want to be there, even if he couldn’t or wouldn’t admit it himself.

She felt like she did everything she was supposed to, but they were learning the right steps to different dances at as it were. Those dreams were at one point shared, but in the end they weren’t right for each other and she admits that, though bitterly (“I founded the club she’s heard great things about” eg the years she put in for him to help him grow up will end up benefiting his new lover, “but I’m not the one,” “you’ll find someone,” etc.). Mixed in with all this of her resentment of him wasting her youth (sacrificing herself at the altar), and his resentment of her for reasons less defined, and insinuations of betrayal in the shadows. The fantasy of the whole package disappears into the ether, yet she still has no answers as to how they got there.

Then in comes the wolf in sheep’s clothing in many of the rest of the songs, the one who promises her all those things she’s dreamed of since she was a kid instantly. After years of moulding herself to other men’s desires, someone comes in and tells her exactly what she wants to hear at the most vulnerable time of her life, as though the universe is answering her prayers, like some sort of cosmic payback for all she’s suffered, and it’s the most intoxicating drug of all. She’s gone from her wish for a family life feeling like she’s in a way being used for her body, to it being used as a chain to a relationship gone sour, to having someone put a metaphorical ring on her finger and tell her he wants to have babies with her, fuck those other guys.

In her grief and stupor, it’s too good to be true, which is exactly why she falls for it. But of course, it’s all an illusion, because this wolf is an amalgamation of the worst of all the men who came before him. He tells her everything she wants to hear not to make her dreams come true, but to make his. He takes the worst parts of these scenarios to make his move: he’ll stand by her, he’ll commit, he’ll do it out in the open under the spotlight’s glare (all things desperately lacking in her last relationship), but after he beds her he stabs her in the back in private and leaves her. He got what he wanted at the expense of her losing everything she wanted, this time as her world caved in seemingly for good. She feels like she gave up everything she thought she might have had for a chance that this is where the universe has been point her all along, only to be left broken for good (you represent the loss of my life as I knew it).

Then there are two sort of codas to this. In “But Daddy I Love Him” we get a sassier reimagining of “Love Story,” where the girl with the scarlet letter is mouthy and crass and tells everyone to go fuck themselves for cursing her in the first place, choosing her love above all else. And no, those haters can’t come to her wedding. Her daddy may have come around, but they sure can’t. Finally it seems someone is choosing her and will someday give her these things, and she’ll be able to show all the naysayers. (Also interestingly one of the more fictionally-veiled songs which ends happily vs the diaristic ones that don’t.)

Then of course there’s “So High School,” our first glimpse into what the future holds. Probably the only unabashedly happy (nay… electric?) song on the album, it’s all about reclaiming the buzz of youth (which is a whole other post) with a new lover. “Are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me? It’s just a game but really, I’m betting on all three for us two.” It’s, er, a direct nod to a certain now-infamous interview, but again, she’s staking her claim on her future, if not certain then at least hopeful again. This time the prospect doesn’t come with a “but.” It’s not, we’ll be pushing strollers but actually you’re too young. It’s not, we had these dreams for our future but actually I can’t move forward. It’s not, I’m going to promise you a ring and a baby but only until my needs are met and then I’m out. It’s, I know what I wanted and I’m not leaving, and thanks to that now she stays too.

The album dealt with the theme not at all in the way I expected, but is absolutely fascinating.

[drvscarlett]

The Tortured Drivers' Department

— combining another one of my favorites. I'll be taking notes and writing fics about which TTPD song do I associate with the drivers ( + I will be including the retired ones). This is the main list and I'll be linking them when I finished writing them. Let me know if you wanna be tagged

Also give TTPD a listen. Its so beautiful and a masterpiece

Fortnight

— i love you, its ruining my life (Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes!reader)

The Tortured Poets Department 

— At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding (Pierre Gasly x ex!reader)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 

— 'Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart left all these broken parts (Lando Norris x reader)

Down Bad

— Fuck it if I can't have him (Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader)

So Long, London

— You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? (George Russell x secret girlfriend! reader)

But Daddy I Love Him

— "I'm having his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces (Alex Albon x Horner!reader)

Fresh Out the Slammer

— Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you (Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader)

Florida!!! (feat. Florence + the Machine) 

—I need to forget, so take me to Florida (Logan Sargeant x heiress!reader)

Guilty as Sin?

—What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

— I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean (Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

— they shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell 'em he's my man (Daniel Ricciardo x longtime girlfriend!reader)

loml

— Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed he was a lion (Max Verstappen x childhood sweetheart!reader)

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 

— Lights, camera, bitch, smile (Zhou Guanyu x model!reader)

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

— And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive (Yuki Tsunoda x Actress!reader)

The Alchemy

—'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me (Kimi Räikkönen x assistant!reader)

Clara Bow

— This town is fake, but you're the real thing (Sebastian Vettel x Ferrari heir!reader)

The Black Dog

— I am someone who, until recent events you shared your secrets with (Mick Schumacher x driver!reader

imgonnagetyouback

— I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (Fernando Alonso x wife!reader)

The Albatross

— She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you (Jenson Button x revenger!reader)

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

—So if I sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon? (Carlos Sainz x Vasseur!reader)

How Did It End?

— The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling (Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri)

So High School

—You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her (Charles Leclerc x reader ft Max Verstappen x childhood friend!reader)

I Hate It Here

—I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind (Kimi Räikkönen x interviewer! reader)

thanK you aIMee

— And then she wrote headlines in the local paper laughing at each baby step I'd take (Mark Webber x reader)

I Look in People’s Windows

—What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time (Sebastian Vettel x reader)

The Prophecy

—Don't want money, just someone who wants my company (Pierre Gasly x politician's daughter!reader)

Cassandra

—So they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst (Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader)

Peter

— Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine (Lando Norris x reader)

The Bolter

— "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" (Max Verstappen x hollywood starlet!reader)

Robin

— You have no room in your dreams for regrets (Oscar Piastri x girlfriend!reader)

The Manuscript

—One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I re-read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore (Carlos Sainz x McLaren employee!reader)

[meaningtotellyou]

we hereby conduct this post mortem he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsman our maladies were such we could not cure them and so a touch that was my birthright became foreign come one come all it’s happening again the empathetic hunger descends we’ll tell no one except all of our friends we must know how did it end we were blind to unforeseen circumstances we learned the right steps to different dances and fell victim to interlopers glances lost the game of chance what are the chances soon they’ll go home to their husbands smug cause they know they can trust him then feverishly calling their cousins guess who we ran into down at the shops walking in circles like she was lost didn’t you hear they called it all off one gasp and then how did it end say it once again with feeling how the death rattle breathing silenced as the soul was leaving the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling my beloved ghost and me sitting in tree d-y-i-n-g it’s happening again how did it again i can’t pretend like i understand how did it end come one come all it’s happening again the empathetic hunger descends we’ll tell no one except all of our friends but i still don’t know how did it end

[fruitydiaz]

lost the game of chance, what are the chances?

how did it end? – taylor swift

[Image description: 6 large gifs primarily of Shannon and Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 with the lyrics to How Did It End, by Taylor Swift.

Gif 1: A split gif with Eddie on the left and Shannon on the right. The two are at dinner when Shannon tells Eddie she wants a divorce and he reacts in hurt disbelief. The text reads, "Say it once again with feeling how the death rattle breathing silenced."

Gif 2: A close up, washed out gif of Shannon after her accident, when she first sees Eddie on the scene. The text continues the line in the song, "As the soul was leaving."

Gif 3: A split gif with Shannon on the left and Eddie on the right. They're talking over facetime while Eddie's at work and Shannon is at lunch with Christopher and Isabel. They're both laughing and smiling. The text continues, "The deflation of our dreaming."

Gif 4: A colored gif with a black and white gif overlayed. In the colored gif, Eddie slumps back in the ambulance, watching as Hen and Chimney work to intubate Shannon. In the black and white gif, Eddie roars after winning a fight. The text continues, "Leaving me bereft and reeling."

Gif 5: A washed out gif of Shannon and Eddie at the beach with Christopher between them. The text continues, "My beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree."

Gif 6: Two washed-out gifs overlayed. In the first gif, Eddie lies in a puddle of his own blood. Blended into his body is a gif of Shannon, shot from above as the first responders rush over her body after her accident. The text finishes, "D-y-i-n-g."

/end ID.]

[stillgotscars]

“do i throw out everything we built or keep it?” // “the deflation of our dreaming, leaving me bereft and reeling”

[kenneth-black]

“say it once again with feeling how the death rattle breathing silenced as the soul was leaving the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling my beloved ghost and me sitting in a tree…

D-Y-I-N-G” 🙃

[Lyrics excerpt from “How Did It End?” By Taylor Swift]

[taylortruther]

omg now that we're talking lyrics can you help out this ESL girlie here, rae? I have no idea what she means when she's singing "say it once again with feeling/ how the death rattle breathing/ silenced as the soul was leaving". Like, I know the first one is a direction people give to actors and I know what a death rattle is but the entire verse is so ?????? to me as pretty as it sounds.

Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling

imo this is part of the irony of the song. people are leaning in with hunger to hear the story of why her relationship ended. they don't care about her, they care about the gossip. and she's basically saying... i don't even know myself. i don't know how i got here again. she, herself, is in so much pain, her relationship died, she feels lost. but "say it once again with feeling!" we love this story, tell it again! enthrall us, put some life and energy into your storytelling about your relationship dying, even while you yourself feel like you're dying.

rephrased, it almost sounds like she's saying:

tell it again, with energy this time how your dying relationship finally ended for good, and killed your dreams of a shared future, leaving you completely lost and grieving

tell us tell us tell us!

[thatcrazymind]

The deflation of our dreaming

Leaving me bereft and reeling

My beloved ghost and me

Sitting in a tree

D-Y-I-N-G

[beebadobee3]

say😭it😭once😭again😭with😭feeling😭how😭the😭death😭rattle😭breathing😭silenced😭as😭the😭soul😭was😭leaving😭the😭deflation😭of😭our😭dreaming😭leaving😭me😭bereft😭and😭reeling😭my😭beloved😭ghost😭and😭me😭sitting😭in😭a😭tree😭D😭Y😭I😭N😭G

[expectiations]

Say it once again with feeling How the death rattle breathing Silenced as the soul was leaving The deflation of our dreaming Leaving me bereft and reeling My beloved ghost and me Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G

- How Did It End?, Taylor Swift

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

“The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling” is like the epilogue to TTPD and sets the scene so tragically well

[peterlostwendy]

the deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling... 🤍