#The Sommelier

[howlingday]

Sommelier (JW2): *In british accent* The VHS-D2 it’s a lovely assault rifle. A reliable, but easy to shoot rifle, this rifle have an ambidextrous handling. You can cock the rifle with your left or your right hand. No need to be scared to have the spent casing ejected onto your face, since you can change the ejections direction.

Sommelier (JW2): *Still in British accent* The KRISS Vector, a highly capable submachine gun, this one shoots a 9x19 Parabellum bullets. It has the Super V Recoil mitigation so you won’t have to worry about the muzzle lift. The gun could fire up to 1,200 RPM and can accept any kind of GLOCK magazines.

Jaune: Huh. These seem like good guns, right, Ruby?

Ruby: Mhm! But, uh, I don't know, Jaune. Says here that a purchase requires a stay at "The Continental". It kinda sounds like a scam.

Jaune: Oh, come on, Ruby! When was the last time anyone was scammed at a hotel?

[tobytheeggo]

YALL

[nobodymitskigabriel]

I think the only fit rich genuinely looks bad in is whatever the fuck they had loki wear in the winchesters.

[eyeshields]

Thank you illustrations from Murata to artists who contributed art to the BRAINxBRAVE special issue part 8 (pt1 / pt2 / pt3 / pt4 / pt5 / pt6 / pt7).

From top to bottom these are for: Horikoshi Kohei (My Hero Academia), Matsui Katsunori (Sommelière), Masuda Kousuke (Gag Manga Biyori), and Matsui Yuusei (The Elusive Samurai, Assassination Classroom)

[alexis-royce]

Loving the new item slots; my BDR only needed one more level to make keeping Notability at 8 nice and easy.

[kaiserouo]

Fine Dining

[tragicstarz]

Ahh I love Gus and David and what they could’ve been ☹️

[fireandiceland]

Austria has the strictest laws regarding the quality and production of wine so Roderich is definitely a wine snob

[coconut530]

IMMENENT DANGER

[viejospellejos]

Que le den un aumento a ese sommelier YA

[asgoodeasgold]

Matthew's attempt at being a waiter/sommelier to a couple getting engaged is the most hilarious thing.

First there is the swagger ("OK, I am going in. Check out the walk."), then the ludicrous questions ("What does it do to your nose?"), the comical wine pairings ("You know what goes well with engagement? A glass of giggles."), and the farcical ideas ("Would you like to hear the Welsh National anthem? Are you sure?" - turning to Matthew Rhys - "Do it!"), before concluding that "It was a good decision not to sing the Welsh national anthem."

🤣🤣🤣 I cannot, it's too hysterical.

📷 The Wine Show (2016) s1:09 my edits

[possibilistfanfiction]

Chef Au! A date night with fast food (chosen by Ava) and cheap wine (chosen by Bea)

it's not that beatrice's little chef outfits aren't simultaneously endearing and also hot, but when you open your front door and see her in sunglasses and a comfortable crewneck sweater, light, loose pants cuffed casually — although you're sure she was exacting about those too — and sneakers, you realize that you've kind of been missing out. or, really, maybe, she's a fuller person that you could've ever really imagined, only seeing her at her restaurant and a few vineyards nearby you'd tasted at together.

she smiles, a little hesitant, and hands you a simple, beautiful bouquet of lavender wrapped in newspaper and tied with twine. 'from my garden.'

'that's so gay,' you say, before you can stop yourself — but then she laughs and scratches at the back of her neck and you lean forward to kiss her cheek. 'i love them,' you amend. 'thank you.

she nods. 'of course.'

'let me put these in some water and then we can head out.'

'you can dry it, if you want.' she clears her throat, nervous and fidgeting with her watch. 'it's good for simple syrups and reductions. or baths.'

'that sounds dope. i love baths.' you wink and know she's blushing as you put the bouquet on your entry table — artfully cluttered — and then lock the door and turn back to her. 'ready?'

'yes,' she says, unlocking a practical and perfectly spotless electric small bmw suv, and then opening your door for you.

'why thank you, sir knight.'

she rolls her eyes and closes the door, then walks around to her side. 'where to, your royal highness?'

you grin, take her hand in yours while she starts the car. 'arby's.'

'fair enough.'

'i was going to pick panda express, but that seemed... weird?'

she laughs, which delights you. you don't think you've ever heard her laugh like that before. 'i love their orange chicken, honestly. but that's a god tier secret, okay?'

you mime zipping your lips and throwing away the key, which keeps a smile on her face. while she's driving, you get to take in the whole of her, greedily: her dark brows and the gentle sharp of her jaw, the soft buzz of her hair, the tattoos peeking out from under the sleeves of her sweater, the freckles across her cheekbones and the bridge of her nose. and her hands: sure and precise, even just on the steering wheel. she's beautiful, and you're a little overcome. you count your blessings that you wore your favorite bralette and overshirt, wide-leg jeans that make your butt look incredible. your eyeliner is perfect and when you're at a red light, she turns and smiles at you like there's no one else in the world.

it knocks the breath out of you a bit, and you cannot start crying over how pretty a girl is within seven minutes of a first date; you thank your lucky stars when she fiddles with her phone and then some music starts to play.

'shit,' she says, scrolling desperately.

'carly rae?'

'i didn't mean to play that. i don't even know why it's in my liked songs.'

'here,' you say, and put your hand out for the phone because the light is about to turn green. you laugh when you see every single carly rae jepson album fully saved in her liked songs, and you take in the delicious pink of her cheeks when you look over at her with a laugh. 'well, emotion: side b is probably the best album of all time, so no judgement here.'

she bites her bottom lip.

'what were you trying to play, though? what did you think would, like, seduce me?'

'who says i'm was trying to seduce you?'

'well, the gay little flowers, for one. and the fact that you agreed to this silly plan in the first place.'

she waits until the next red light to lean over the console and kiss you — short, and gentle, and very sweet — and you revel in the feeling.

she backs away and turns her attention back to the road in front of you as you start to move again. 'is it working?' she asks.

you laugh.

/

you settle into her trunk after she parks on the overlook; she's put comfortable blankets and pillows in it so you can eat and watch the sunset, and it's tender and thoughtful and she puts a little fisherman's beanie on that softens her, even more, and it's all driving you a little bit crazy.

'well,' you say, after you both settle in with your chicken fingers, curly fries, and ranch — your order, which she'd promised she would eat — 'please break out the perfect wine to pair with the best dinner of all time.'

she nods very seriously, going along with your antics; beatrice is ultimately extremely serious in the kitchen, even if her food is playful: she hasn't gotten to where she is — one of the youngest chefs to be nominated for a james beard, among a billion other accomplishments she refuses to mention and you had only found out about through a recent write-up about the soft opening of her restaurant — without incredible determination and focus.

she's more playful than you had imagined, full of laughter and willing to be silly; willing to indulge the goofy idea you'd had for this date. she reaches around behind her and pulls out a small cooler filled with ice, then presents the wine with a flourish: 'only the very finest three dollar trader joe's chardonnay. it pairs wonderfully with chicken.'

her little posh accent and her genuine smile make the whole routine even better. 'that is... incredible.'

'you know,' she says, 'i've never failed an assignment.'

'now that i believe.'

she fishes out two red solo cups — which makes you laugh even harder — and unscrews the top of the wine before pouring it carefully. 'do you want to give your review?'

you go through the motions of how you would normally taste a wine, all a little exaggerated. you're one of the most sought-after sommeliers in the world: you can make or break vineyards and their yearly releases; you've been a part of a handful of opening restaurants that have won every award in the book. and, even with all of that, 'this might be one of my favorite bottles of wine i've ever had.'

bea scoffs. 'this wine is absolutely horrendous.' she pulls apart a chicken tender and dunks it in ranch, though, eats it without any complaint.

'sure,' you steal one of her fries even though you have a whole pile of your own. 'but the company elevates the entire thing.'

she turns toward you, the sunset fading orange behind her, turning her eyes gold. 'you make everything better.'

it makes you a little breathless. 'plus, you have to admit, these chicken fingers slap.'

it gets her to laugh, just like you'd wanted. just like you think you could spend your entire life wanting. 'maybe we'll put this pairing on my menu, then.'

'lilith would love that.'

'you know, it could be worth it, just to see her face.'

you scoot closer to her, talk about how her partnership with a local farm is going, how she's sourcing her cod from a fisherman nearby; you talk about your favorite vineyard, a tiny one tucked into the oregon coast — and those things are safe. those things are more of what you already know: she cares deeply about the earth and how her food fits into it; you want to share a stormy grey day and perfect pinot noir at a firepit with her.

and you eat your greasy fries and drink wine that is surely going to give you a headache in the morning. you talk about how she felt finally herself when she finished cooking school and took a job on the line, young and eager and fabulously talented, at a kitchen where she had support, where no one yelled at her, where she had a mentor that cared. you talk about the wine grapes you remember your grandfather growing in your small back yard, how you would eat them when you were small and describe the taste while you sat on your mom's lap. she teaches you her favorite word in chinese and you teach her your favorite word in portugese.

the sun sinks below the river, and you love her.

'do you — ' she bites her bottom lip — 'do you want to come back to my place? for dessert?'

'depends,' you say, and watch her face fall for a split second; you kiss her jaw to rectify that, 'what's on the menu?'

she huffs a laugh. 'i bought nestle chocolate chip cookies, for the occasion. they're in my freezer.'

'oh, fuck yes,' you say. 'i'm so in.'

'and, my company.'

'well, yeah, sure.' you roll your eyes playfully and pull her in for a kiss: cheap wine and grease and the softness of her skin under your fingertips. 'and that too.'

[ripeteeth]

I started sommelier school today, so here's to the next ten weeks of drinking wine daily.

[toxicanonymity]

What if Corey has a CNC kink-

But he's worried you don't wanna do it so he keeps to himself but he gets upset and when you say that you also have the kink he just- goes feral-

Combined this with the ask from @yllcm below. . . my inner sommelier felt it was a good pairing.

Notes: NSFW 18+, unprotected PIV, CNC (con-noncon), noncon, Corey and Michael both alive after Halloween Ends.

PSA on Corey requests: don't take it personally if I don't answer something fast or spin it into Michael thirst lol. 💟

Background Notes: Corey and Michael both survive. I cant resist mentioning Michael revived Corey by snapping his neck, and the whole midnight procession was just from Laurie’s novel, a therapeutic exercise in closure. Corey gets out of town while things cool off.

-

You don’t quite believe it when Corey insists Michael is still alive, until you see Michael lurking around one day. Then, you see him again. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that you’ve seen him twice in one week. It stays on your mind. You have trouble sleeping.

When you finally drift off for a nap, you have a very hot dream that Michael attacks you and has his way with you. Dream Michael is pummeling you and you’re about to come when you wake up. Shortly after, you receive a call from a restricted number.

- - -

“Hello?”

“Hey babe.” Corey's low voice sends a chill down your spine. “What are you doin?”

“Ohh, I was just taking a nap.”

“Aww, sorry for waking you up.”

“Nah, already woke up. What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Has anyone seen Michael around yet?”

“Actually I saw him myself.”

“You what? really?”

“Yeah, the first time I thought I was seeing things so I didn’t mention it. But today, I was sure.”

“No shit. Is he following you?”

“When are you going to tell me what happened?”

There’s a long pause.

“Not on the phone,” he says. “Wow, I wonder if he’s stalking you. Are you scared?”

“I was, but I just had the strangest dream and I'm not now.”

“What was the dream?”

“Actually it was kind of, um, sexual. I’m still pretty worked up.”

There’s a long pause.

“Sorry, I guess that’s weird.”

“No,” he says. Something changes in his voice. “It’s hot as hell.” He sighs. “What happened, did he fuck you?”

“Really? Okay. Yeah, he came into the diner when I was working. Everyone cleared out but me because I was in the bathroom.”

“Uh-huh”

“He walked straight across the diner and-”

“Did he pull his knife on you?” Corey breathes heavily.

“Yeah. I thought he was going to kill me, then he bent me over a table.”

“Fuck,” Corey breathes. “Then what.”

“Are you hard right now?”

“So hard. What happened next”

“I tried to escape while he had his cock in his hand. He caught me and threw me back down.”

“Ohhh my god”

“Then he forced me.”

“And you liked it?”

You moan softly. “Never felt anything like it before. No offense.”

“What was it like?” He whispers.

“God, now I’m wet.”

“Fuck, I wish I was there so bad.” It’s obvious he’s jerking off.

“Me too, trust me,” you whine as you touch yourself.

“What was it like,” he repeats, darker.

“Like my whole body was being filled.”

“Oh, God,” Corey’s breath becomes ragged.

“It was so hard. And big, it was huge, but it didn’t even hurt.”

“Fuck me,” Corey whispers. “Did he come?”

“Oh yeah, like a firehose.”

“But I didnt. I woke up."

"Fuck, I wish I could stuff you with my cock right now, make you come." You're twitching on the edge.

"Me too, I miss it so bad."

"Suck your tits while I pound you."

You moan as you come. He's grunting.

You say, Iit was so vivid. I guess I liked it, being forced. Would you ever do that for me?”

Corey groans "fuck yes," then sighs in relief as he comes.

As he catches his breath, he says "absolutely.”

You groan and say, "I feel so empty. When are you coming back? Can I come to you? I dunno how long I can wait. "

He sighs. "Michael's following you. What if he really tries something?"

"I dunno, would you be upset?"

"God no, you should do it. Hell, I'd do it"

"Now that's hot."

- -

A few days later, you’re about to leave for work. You open your apartment door and Corey’s there with the darkest look in his eyes. He pushes you right back into your kitchen.

“Corey-”

He cuts you off with his mouth, kissing you ferally. He sucks your neck, gropes your breasts.

“I have to work,” you pant.

He pulls you into him so you can feel how hard he is and you moan, dropping your bag and keys.

He manhandles you onto the sofa without a word and pulls down your pants and underwear. You start to get up to take them off entirely but he forces you back down on your back and pins your hands above your head as he lays his whole body into you. He keeps your wrists pinned with one massive hand and takes his cock out with the other. You’ve never been so turned on. He shoves himself into you with a grunt and pounds you until you come.

@wolvesandvampires @ethanhoewke @rebel-blue

[savagechickens]

Just Like The Last Bottle.

And more skunks.

[nietp]

We're in Ireland right now, and as always when abroad we're looking for all the energy drinks we haven't had the chance to try yet. Our first try at Tesco was an absolute failure, as we couldn't find any brands we didn't know. The only thing we found was Lucozade, but, DEBUNK TIME: Lucozade is NOT an energy drink according to our criteria, as it doesn't contain any taurine. It's a scam. Luckily, our second try went better and we found out about ENERGISE, an Irish energy drink brand. We tried 2 of them.

ENERGISE ENERGY DEADLY ORIGINAL : Nothing to see here... It's a classic, bringing nothing new to the game, but every brand needs one. I have to admit, it's more a classic - than a classic +. It doesn't beat THE actual classics, like the Rockstar Original or the Black Cat. It's mid. Unlike the next one. 2.5/5 stars

ENERGISE ENERGY SAVAGE CREAM SODA : Beautiful packaging, with great details. Apparently it's an hommage to the love of the proud people of Ireland for ice cream cones. Good for them! We were intrigued and curious, as the only other ice cream flavoured "energy drink" we've tried before came from the despicable people of the USA, in the form of the horrible PRIME ICE POP, which faithful followers will remember. Now, for our first taste of the Savage cream soda. Here is the complete transcription of my gf's reaction as she opened the can: "CATASTROPHIC SMELL - what is happening???? Listen, at least it's new. [takes a sip] UGH??????". But after this complicated start, she was actually enthusiastic. She said "it's giving Vanilla YOP", and I personally couldn't place it exactly, but I know it's reminding me of a tase from my childhood, so it has a nostalgic feeling for me. The classic energy drink taste base is here, but it's completely transformed by the vanilla flavour. It's new, it's exciting, it's kind of good, or at least drinkable. For this, I give it the beautiful score of 3.5/5 stars.