#The Snarky Ones (tm)

[the-acid-pear]

these options are gonna make me piss myself

[makeitlookdecent]

i keep remaking/reusing the same designs for oc's...

[sheastri]

Heart of a Woman ft. Lando Norris

Synopsis : In which the only thing that's saving him is the heart of the woman who loves him.

Pairing: Lando Norris x black!fem!reader

Genre: Boderline Horror

Warning(s): Cheating

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

username oh he has her all the way fucked up

username atp she wants it to happen bc why even stay??

username in the sense that... username idk abt this one bookie

username ok but who in their right mind would cheat of THEE Y/N

username This is so shady… Do it again!🥱

username y/n, js lemme know if i need to run a fade girl

username Only thing that's saving you is the heart of a woman. 

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Question is, why I do the things I do. Answer I may never find, but I'll always choose you.

"Come on, pick up the phone." You say to yourself after seeing the posts all over social media. You had called 5 times prior and you were just hoping for a miracle at this point before you heard Lando's voice come through the phone.

"Hey y/n, what's up?" Lando says nonchalantly.

"What's up? Do you think I'm dumb? Like seriously." You say heated.

"What's this about? I'm lowkey lost." He responds again almost uncaring but with an edge in his tone.

"Now me and you both know you saw the pictures all over your timeline so I don't even know why you try. Who's the girl?" You say before letting out a sigh, not even mad anymore just tired.

"Which one?" He replies now sounding annoyed.

"Oh? So it's like that? Forget this then." You say sick of his shit.

"No, y/n wait. Look I know what I did was wrong but you weren't meeting my needs and she was just there." Lando says with full conviction, as if his reasoning is some amazing thing.

"The fuck? What do you mean she was just there?" You say mockingly.

"Well look at where you were and where she was... plus it was just a night out. Probably a one time thing." Lando says still trying to justify his actions.

"Just a night out?" You say raising your voice again.

"Y/n, you're just being overly dramatic and paranoid. Me and her are friends and we were just hanging out, you know? Like friends do!" He says snarky.

"You must have me mistaken for boo-boo the fool because everybody can tell there's something going on." You respond back with the same tone he used.

"But they don't know us baby, they don't understand our dynamic. I don't even do half the things I do with you with her." He says in a baby voice.

You stay silent, mulling over his words.

"Please forgive me love, I won't hang out with her anymore if it makes you feel uncomfortable." He says in the same tone, almost pleading.

"Thank you baby, you're forgiven." You say softly.

"Talk to you later babe?" He says.

"Yeah, I love you." You say all smiley.

"Love you too." He says finally before hanging up.

Wanna give up on you, but damn, I know I can't. I put the blame on me for giving you chance after chance

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

liked by imanirowe, landonorris, and 289,000 others

yourusername love my man real bad

username this is not it...

username his face being turned away in the photos should make something click in her head likeee

username this feels like a humiliation ritual...

username i feel like this is a sign to go back to my ex

username don't do it girl

username this man could push her granny down the stairs and she would come running back into his arms

username oh you got it username not one lie was told

username free my queen from this white devil, amen!!

username I hope to never reach this level of delusion.

username In love with you, but can't stand this and I try to be strong, but how much can I take?

liked by mclaren, ln4, and 349,000 others

landonorris monaco

yourusername my race winner

username the way he didn't even like her comment

username and not one photo with y/n in it

username and i'm hearing some ppl thought a whole different girl was his gf

username the way he almost looked disappointed to see y/n but maybe im looking into it tm

username no bc I saw it too

username congrats on the win lando!

username dpmo

username Put your words on your life this time and I hope your ass ain't lyin' 'cause...

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Only thing that's saving you is the heart of a woman.

You guys were now at Lando’s house after a long and silent car ride. The argument you guys had over text still fresh in both of your minds. He was sitting on the couch and you were standing with a drink in your hand.

"I hope you know that we're still continuing the discussion that we had earlier." You say straight up.

"Do we really have to get back to it? Why are we still on this topic." He says before sighing.

"We can't just laugh everything off because you don't feel like talking about it." You reply rolling your eyes.

"Can't you just get over it? I didn't think it was that serious." He says.

"Get over it? Lando, this is not just some silly little problem that won't mean anything in a couple days. It's the fact that you've cheated multiple times." You say now yelling.

"I didn't even cheat, it's just the way the media is spinning things. Maybe if you got off social media and talked to me more we wouldn't be here." He says in a matter a factly tone.

"Are you serious? Anytime I try and talk to you it's like I'm talking to a wall. Even when I call your phone, do you know how many times I have to call before you pick up?" You say annoyed and frustrated.

"Maybe if you were more interesting I'd be more eager to answer the phone." He says.

"Oh, but I'm the problem right?" You say raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, you are actually. Glad we could finally agree on something." He says.

You're about to respond when you actively feel the gears turning in your head as something clicks.

"Yeah, no. I'm wasting my time here. I don't think you've liked me for the longest time now, you just enjoy stringing me along and driving me insane. We're done." You say calmly as you walk away to go and get your suitcase and leave.

"Wait, what do you mean we're done?" Lando yells out as you walk away.

It's my mind and my soul versus your pride. Nigga, check your ego 'cause I left mine at the door

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

liked by imanirowe, oscarpiastri, and 457,000 others

yourusername the men in your books will never disappoint you

landonorris pretty girl

username be gone evil username he rlly tried ts

username wait... this is new territory, I'm scared

username ya'll don't get too excited, we don't want a repeat of last time

username oh ts broke me, everybody thought she was free and then next post they're hand in hand

username she rlly shines when there's not a man in the bg tryna out mog her

username In love with you but can't stand your ways and I try to be strong...

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Lando Norris has uploaded a story

Caption: Her.

username it seems like he only rlly applies pressure when she decides she's done

username fumble of the century

username me when i realize the baddest bitch i'll ever have in my lifetime is finally choosing herself and not me

username so glad she finally left this bum

username But how much can I take?

liked by imanirowe, oscarpiastri, and 397,000

yourusername life when you're not with somebody who hates you

username so incredibly real

imanirowe WE OUTSIDE THIS SUMMERRR

username i love this era on her

username so glad that he who shall not be named is gone

username oscar in the likes?? he's def plotting

username i was SICK of him

username Only thing that's saving you (no, I can't take it no more, I'm 'bout to walk out the door)

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

A/N: My whole google search is what would a cheating man say, can't wait to clear it up with the next ficcccc.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think about a lot of the differences between beast and Canon Akutagawa but I think the one similar consistency they have other than love/grief/rage and being absolutely homosexual for white haired protagonists is the fact that they are both goth enough to pull a Mary Shelley and also confess it to their Atsushi's. I like to think that instead of saying I love you, Akutagawa's confession was basically, "If you were to die before me, I will take your heart and wrap it in my favorite poetry, and carry it with me everywhere. Even when it is time for me to be put in my grave."

Canon atsushi's reaction to this at 2:47 AM on a sleepless night is, "[snort] not my leg?" and then says i love you back when akutagawa least expects it, and nearly has a heart attack cause he wasn't expecting it.

Beast Atsushi's response to it at 2:47 AM on a sleepless night is, "Duly noted, I'll update my will...does this mean we're gonna get married then?" which catches Beast Akutagawa so off guard he's like, "you've considered marriage. with me."

"I've...I have the priest (hirotsu) on speed dial. Just in case...?"

(Beast aku doesn't even agree or disagree, he just says "you're doing all the paperwork, I hate paperwork" to which beast atsushi, who has already forged his signature and finger print and has been waiting for a reason to register the paperwork for A While TM is like "got it :)")

Anon come here... Let me kiss you... You get sskk and Beast sskk so well kiss you kiss you kiss you showering you in all your favourite flowers!!!! Thank you for this I have barely anything to add because really what else is there to say? This is precisely how they would act.

Canon Atsushi is, precisely, exactly, like you described him: snarky, yet so acutely aware still, so on track with what Akutagawa is saying. He's the one who would playfully poke fun of Akutagawa as he's dying for him. I love this aspect of Atsushi messing up with Akutagawa and Akutagawa messing up with Atsushi– I think it's an aspect of their rivalry that would stick to their relationship no matter the stage. I think it's very sskk in the way they can be confident when they are with each other, and thus engage in competition. I think it speaks of a level of being comfortable they can only reach when they are with each other. I think Atsushi would definitely say: “Not my leg?” That's so cute, thank you. And then say “I love you too”, because he loves to take Akutagawa off guard, and because, all playing around aside, he loves him :)

Beast sskk are so cute. They're my favourite ever. They are so morbid and so tender at the same time. I don't think they share this teasing each other as much as the other sskk do, because competition to the extent the others experienced was never a thing for them. They are more quiet than that, but also giving off this feeling of, you just know no one else could be by their side. They're very precious to me. Atsushi having thought about marriage countless times, indulging on daydreaming about normal happy lives and normal couple things, just as a way of fantasizing and nothing more of course, but let's keep the priest (Hirotsu) on speed dial just in case. Vs. Akutagawa who never once it had crossed his mind but upon Atsushi mentioning it is like. “Sure. You take care of all the paperwork tho I'm NOT handing that.” And Atsushi is like “Oh. Okay :)” ajhsvakhjvkjhvcf they are so cuteeee. Atsushi knowing how to forge Akutagawa's signature AND finger print too for good measure is the cutest thing, it's something that's SO them, they trust each other so deeply, they're parts of the same being. I've said thousand times before that to me Beast Atsushi is the perfect trope of ex-mafioso house husband and this little illegal things he probably doesn't even realize are illegal are exactly what I'm talking about. They're both too messed up to realize they're freaks / they don't care because they match each other's freakiness / I love them SO much.

I do share this vision of canon sskk and Beast sskk where they are two sets of different people, but at the same time, sometimes their destinies will overlap for a fraction of second: like saying the same thing at the same time one night. They are so <3

[subbyboysgalore]

First off good fucking god the oral hcs for Gaku had me going feral those were soooo good! I was doing the horny grip meme irl while reading those

Now… how about Yamato crying during sex? Be it because of overstimulation, because Feelings TM, or some other reason of your choice, I think crying during sex could be good enrichment for him (and you)

- 💫 (you probs know who I am alr but I wanna stay in anon bdhdjdkd)

a/n: HII??? ehehhe im so happy you enjoyed gaku!! gfhhh i had to also do the horny grip meme with that yamato prompt, that's so tasty THANK YOU

tags: orgasm denial, edging, bondage, vibrators

type: minific, 583 words

🔞🔞

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

“Come on baby, you can keep going right? Of course you can..”

Okay maybe you were being a bit too mean. It's been what, an hour? Yeah, it's been an hour ever since you started teasing your cute, cute boyfriend like this. Yamato sat on your bed, leaning his entire weight back against a pile of pillows. The shakiness of his body made him look limp and tense at the same time, like an overwhelmed doll. His legs were spread, and his arms were tied behind his back, muscles occasionally flexing and straining against it.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever just.. hurry up.. fuck-”

“Stop being so impatient. Calm down.”

“How can I be calm when you're like this-!”

The end of Yamato's sentence cut itself off with a gasp as he threw his head back a bit. The tiny, pink vibrator was pushed against his cock for what felt like the thousandth time, held by his cute, but mischievous partner.

You circled it around his tip, watching the way his face would contort with pleasure with the intensity of the buzzing. The settings were perfect, not slow enough that he would get bored, and not fast enough to actually get him to come properly. This way, you could play with him for such a long time, and every single time he would come close to the edge, you'd pull away, both yourself and the vibrator. From personal experience you knew even your presence could help him come, so.. there's that.

Speaking of which..

While you were pondering a bit, your boyfriend’s thighs started shaking, and his whines heightened in pitch. So many nights with him helped you learn the way his body worked, and this was a telltale sign that he was right on the edge. Again. How cute..

Sighing like a disappointed teacher, you backed off, depriving him of the warmth of your body heat and the buzzing of the toy. The disappointment was exaggerated, and you both knew that, but the way his face twisted in humiliation and need was just so cute.

“Can't come until I say so, ‘kay?”

He opened his mouth to complain, to retort with some snarky comeback, but you shut him up with a kiss. He really shouldn't be complaining, this was one of the.. nicer methods of shutting him up. Sneakily you pressed the vibrator back on his dick, cutting the kiss off as he jerked back.

“F-fuck you.. I.. hnn..”

All Yamato could do was helplessly twitch his hips back and forth, trying his best to get his wrists out of the ribbons they were tied with. Earlier, he couldn't help but touch himself, and now, as a punishment, his hands were stuck behind his back. His entire body felt like a bowstring about to snap, filled with electric tension to the brim.

“Yamato.. you're so adorable- oh?”

He didn't even realize he was tearing up until you paused and looked at him like that. Huffing in embarrassment, he looked away, trying to steady his breathing.

“..Are you good there?”

“Yes, yes, yeah, I'm.. I'll be fine if you just let me come, please...!”

Honestly this might be the cutest you've ever seen him. His eyes were wide with desperation, shiny and filled with tears. His flushed face and messy hair was the cherry on top, and his whines were steadily turning into little sobs.

“..Okay fine I'll give you what you want. Get over here.”

How could he make crying look so damn adorable?!

[esorxy]

fengqing fic recs very high quality

its only been 2 weeks and ive legit not thought anything else since these pretty mfs infested in my mind

The Best Way to One-Up your Rival (May have Side-Effects) by viari9

(30k, basically post canon rivalry turned gay) and actually like the best fanfic ever. i keep re-reading it and will smile uncontrollably every time. i dont know if its because tgcf was literally all crack but all the fanfics are so funny for some reason. everyone is obsessed with mu qing bc hes soooo pretty and so snarky (like for what???) and he gets absolutely destroyed TM.

Your beauty never ever scared me by doordaash

(48k, MQ hanahaki) & omfg the hurt/comfort in this fic was insane while also having so much miscommunication that im fr going bald from pulling my hair out. bro the amount of time it took for them to confess... im going mad. amazing for seeing qing mei in pain and getting comforted and i was like damn they wrote such a heart wrenching fic without ANY smut but then like a week later i realised there was a part 2 which was full on pwp.

I’m fair with everyone else but you by theinkquiry

(5k, trapped in a closet but its some temple trap) this was soooo cute because qing mei legit started crying on human contact wahhhhh

try again, try again, try again by absolutefuckery

(24k, legit just kissing and fengqing with good plot) i cant remember what happened other than the kissing but i was screaming in glee the whole way through and feng xin was sooo whipped fr

little beastie by Annabec

(6k, de-aged MQ whos still a brat) reading this made me think about how feng xin would be like as a dad bc he was so cute with little MQ that MQ was like attached to him. and iMAGINE them fengqing kids omg they would be so damn funny as parents

touchstarved by nemaria

(52k, they get curse to not feel touch) bro idk why they were sooo horny at the end like calm the fuck down ur legit just touching his forearm.

I Want to Ki** You by Tyelperintal

(25k) legit DONT rememebr what this was about but it was GOOD so maybe ill reread it someday ...

The southern guide to a happy marriage by illuminate 

(27k, 'fake' marriage as gods) but they still kiss and sleep together and lovingly call each other 'husband' in public *facepalm*

I can feel your halo by illuminate

(37k) so mq loses his powers and hes like 'well the only logical thing to do now is to get fucked!' but also at the end fx is like i want to hold your hand TT and it was so sweet, also they fight a ghost

Ashes by 3isalot

(5k mq getting curse/comfort) read this for qing mei finally getting physical comfort from feng xin and xie lian <33333

love bruise by newamsterdam

(7k post mt tonglu sleeping together & switching) this is soo explicit but so damn good! i used to judge my friend for saying 'ooh this smut is so tender' but I GET IT NOW 😭😭😭

[beemosketches]

So what got you into shipping tobiizu? It's a blur for me, I've always loved rivals to lovers ships(otp being narusasu ofc) and the characters had different personalities than my normal sunshine/emo ships, and all the art of them was pretty lol plus Izuna is kind of a blank slate, he has two canon character traits and neither are about his personality lol

I've written a handful of posts about tobiizu - I think this one covers it pretty nicely.

In short, I read a founders fic with a characterization of Izuna that intrigued me, and it made me point at him and Tobirama and my brain said, "MORE."

Yes, enemies to lovers is the time-honored trope, but what kept me around TobiIzu for this long is The Dynamic (tm).

The sassy to the straight-faced, the hot temper to the cold shoulder, and the way you can build up their parallels and contrasts, and better yet, do it with snarky banter.

I'm a goner for that combination.

I draw them being fluffy >95% of the time because that's what I have emotional energy for most days. But my headcanon of them is that the fluff is maybe 5% of their actual day, IF that lol. The majority of their day-to-day is either busy work, stoic mission competency, petty squabbles, or other general bickering.

[crabs-brencil]

rahhh finally a full illo, and this one comes with lore

basically i was listening to 2000s-y edm as i drew this and as such: connorkus as either highschool seniors or university students in 2009. they're all from some shitty mid-size city in the middle of nowhere. the manfreds are obv That One Family TM so markus is like the golden boy with way too much pressure put on him, and north and connor are the only friends that he can actually be chill with. ofc ppl think that they shouldn't hang out together because north and connor are Bad Influences TM, since north has the worlds shortest fuse and will butt heads with anyone that she feels deserves it, and connor because he's the alcoholic lieutenant's adopted son and a snarky bitch when he feels like it. also north's family owns a farm and the truck they are in is north's dad's. connor def lifted those beers off of hank "to help him quit"

[fanartfunart]

OH ACTUALLY

[queenklu]

Seeing AI discourse about writing college papers reminded me of the time I got Called In To A Professor's Office over a paper I wrote that he thought was plagiarized.

See, the thing I had realized about myself by that point was that I am...VERY BAD....at reading the assigned books. I have every intention of doing so while in class, but the instant I'm out of class the book no longer exists (what adhd). So by the end of the year I would always wind up getting screwed over in the book buy-back with books I'd literally never cracked the spine on, because it turned out speed-reading sparknotes could get me through class discussion and I'd developed a System(TM) for panic-writing an essay the night before.

This system was: find an online pdf of the book. Skim. Read summaries. Pull quotes from pdf. Bullshit. Estimate the page number for any citations because no one actually checks those, and use the publication data from the syllabus for the works cited. This works Very Well if you are, like me, a sarcastic asshole who knows teachers want to read an entertaining essay instead of yet another regurgitation of whatever sounds academically "best."

So here's this history class, which actually turns out to be an english class in disguise, and we are told to read and write an essay on The First Autobiography Ever Written in the English Language, which just so happens to be about a lady who had FOURTEEN kids, suffered a psychotic break, and spent the rest of her life campaigning to become a saint.

It's called The Book of Margery Kempe. I cannot express to you how smug I am to find a pdf of the exact same copy we'd been told to buy, down to the same publishing house and year of publication. I won't even have to bullshit page numbers.

...It's written in Middle English.

Here begynnyth a schort tretys and a comfortabyl for synful wrecchys, wherin thei may have gret solas and comfort to hem and undyrstondyn the hy and unspecabyl mercy of ower sovereyn Savyowr Cryst Jhesu, whos name be worschepd and magnyfyed wythowten ende, that now in ower days to us unworthy deyneth to exercysen hys nobeley and hys goodnesse....

This is fine, College!me thinks. A little tedious, but clearly the entire class has successfully done the reading enough to talk about it, so it must be doable. They probably had discussions about the language and I forgot to pay attention.

So I write the essay, pulling quotes from this middle english pdf that I can only half read, but that I can certainly form opinions about. Is it my best essay? No. Is it snarky? Yes. Is it in MLA format? That's mostly what they'll be checking for.

Then the Professor pulls me aside after class and asks to speak with me in his office. I have another class that I have to go to, and because I'm commuting in to college I won't be back on campus until two days later; he says that's fine, and all of this is settled and we've parted ways before it hits me how fucking fucked I am.

It must be the book.

He's going to call me out on not buying the book.

Can he tell I didn't read the book?

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

And I have two days to stew in it.

By the time our meeting rolls around I am a Mess. He is going to fail me. I am going to die. If I open my mouth at all I will burst into tears. Perhaps there is the slimmest chance if I act Normal this will be fine??????

P: So I read your essay...

Me: *using my Normal face* ⊙.☉

P: ...and I'm just wondering...

Me: ⊙.☉'

P: ...where you got the quotes?

Me: ⊙.☉'''

P: .....because the version of the book we read....isn't in Middle English.

Me: ⊙.☉??????????

P: I actually thought you might have plagiarized it--

Me: ⊙.☉!!!!!!!

P:--but to be honest it's written so entirely in your style that it's impossible this essay is plagiarized.

Me: ........⊙.☉.....

P: .... Anyway.

P: Just wanted to chat.

P: Uh. You're free to go.

Me:

HERE'S THE LESSONS LEARNED:

Just buy the book Cite the pdf. The professors Do Not Care how you've read the book as long as they can plausibly believe you've read it.

Just read the book Listen. I wasn't going to get anywhere near an ADHD diagnosis until my 30s. And if they can't tell you didn't read the book, then is it really the same as not reading the book? I think Margery would agree you gotta make some shit up to get anywhere in life.

Being a sarcastic asshole in my academic papers saved me from a plagiarism charge.

[phightingaus]

Heeeey, been a while since I popped in for a yap session.

Funnily enough this isn't a gear swap ramble, oh no no no. I GOT A NEW AU SUCKERS!!

It started with me drawing silly fusions of the phighting characters and then my brain said, "Hey we can make an au out of this." And so I did!

There's no story, it's more like an alt version of the Inpherno. Similar rules but a few differences. For example:

The Spawn works more like this: It takes two gears, doesn't matter if one or both have been used before and the inphernal spawned will have those two gears. The only rule is that there are no repeat mixes, so let's say there is an inphernal with a Skateboard and Sword gear. The Spawn wouldn't be able to create a new inphernal with those two gears until the inphernal dies.

Names: Instead of using the names of their gears inphernals pick a name they think suits them, mostly based on vibes and what they think is cool.

Anyway here are the characters I have in mind so far (not all are designed):

Agave: (Scythe + Vinestaff) Lone wanderer of Lost Temple and Thieves Den, while she isn't a part of the COTTE she does mercenary work for them. For a price of course. While to most she is an intimidating presence, to those that are close know her to be very kind but definitely snarky and a bit rude at times but that's part of her charm.

Sonic: (Coil + Skateboard and no not the hedgehog): Chill dude that's made his home in Playground, occasionally gets mixed with other gangs but he doesn't stay for long. Also he probably smokes weed.

Mal: (Medkit + Broker): Medic from TF2, they can and will steal your bones. Mal is short for "Malpractice" and they are 110% guilty of it. He is good at medical stuff, he just chooses to mess around and do things that most doctors definitely wouldn't do, that's how he lost their medical license. :P

Scourge: (Subspace + Darkheart): Menace to society, absolutely Bastard tm. They can and will curse you without warning and/or reason. Fun fact: I hc that Darkheart has four eyes like Windforce so all his fusions would have that design choice. Double fun fact: Scourge was spawned with three of his eyes on the left side of his face. But yeah, he's a bitch, not much else to say.

Frostburn: (Icedagger+ Firebrand): Very isolated, due to their contrasting elements their magic is very unstable. Their ice is unmeltable and their fire is unimaginably hot, because of this they stay far away from civilization in their tower. They don't mind because they're a massive introvert (just like me fr) but they do sometimes wish they could see other people purely because they haven't done it before.

Nova: (Rocket + Illumina): Overseer of Playground and honestly just done with everyone's shit, they don't interact with many other people and when they do they keep it short. Only one person has actually been able to keep a conversation with Nova but that's because they are a nosy little bitch that wouldn't stop bothering him.

Void: (Coil + Darkheart): The nosy bitch in question, he also oversees Playground but he's more like a local cryptid. Sometimes you'd see him sitting atop a building or in the corner of your eye, he very much enjoys messing with people but also keeps the peace by breaking up fights when they get too out of hand.

Lyric: (Valk + Rainbow (my OC)): Hermes from Epic the musical, gay little laugh and everything. Celebrity whose shows are always sold out, when they put on a performance they go 100% not much else to say but they are just Hermes.

Wave: (Boombox + Biograft): Literally N from Murder Drones, sweet lil guy that could absolutely kill you in a heartbeat but would rather not.

That's all I got so far, others I either haven't thought of lore and names for. :P

Oooo, I love this concept

Also glad to see another person who's both a MD and Phighting fan lol

[starwarsbundle]

Pt. 3. TBB Headcannons they probably deserve.

Doesn’t matter if it’s been a couple of days since I last watched some Bad Batch (cause I’m procrastinating. What? You ask? I DON’T KNOW, PROCRASTINATION HITS OKAY)

But. That Fine(tm) Batch are still the majority of my thoughts.

Anyhoo, I felt like doing Crosshair today. As of yet, he hasn’t really grown on me (I respect y’all Crosshair simps, but am still confused). But I want to do Headcannons on him regardless.

Crosshair is the youngest sibling. No, not Wrecker, Crosshair. I specifically think it goes age wise - Echo, Tech, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair. (Hunter just has massive Big Sibling energy.) And I know for a fact that younger siblings have a favourite older sibling they want the attention of (*speaks from experience*) and Crosshair’s older sibling is Hunter. He just wants Hunter’s attention and appreciation - but doesn’t know how to communicate it well.

Is a Drama Queen(tm). FIGHT ME. HE IS. following on from the sibling thing, as a cadet he probably did the most outrageous and absurd things to get Hunter’s attention. That calmed a LITTLE as he grew up, but not too much. Now he does outrageous sh$t because he can.

Doesn’t like being alone. Being alone gives him the Big Sad. He won’t ever say so - but he loves his brothers’ company with a passion. And he really just wants to have them back after he joins the Empire.

Being Snarky is his way of showing he loves his brothers. (Mans has issues, we know). Tech knows this to be a fact because his first subjects of study were his brothers; and so he has learned each of their specific ways of showing affection. Sometimes Crosshair IS just being a sarcastic sourpuss, but Tech knows the difference. Hunter (sort of) does, and Wrecker was always happy to love his baby brother anyway.

Crosshair would absolutely wear black fishnet gloves with black painted nails. (He probably let Omega paint them but doesn’t talk about it).

His hair (when it grows, mind you) is actually pretty curly. He has a habit of straightening it. Obsessively, so no one knows he has it.

Definitely listens to “The Game” by the Starbenders. Can sing it word-for-word, and does it rather well, too.

Is secretly terrified of doing wrong by Echo. (The Batch is young by Reg standards). Crosshair absolutely had a Moment when he learned Echo was to join the team. (An original reg from the war?! 😲 *le gasp*) He sees Echo as a figure that represents so much he aspires to be - almost a celebrity figure. If Crosshair was (and we know he was) ever a little sh$t in his way of saying he looked up to Hunter, by comparison he treats Echo with a guarded respect none of his other brothers get.

Was Tech’s original little helper. Hence, how he can predict the Batch’s movements based on what decisions Tech was likely to make.

Sometimes listens to synthwave music when he misses Tech.

Cries. A LOT. this pairs up with his being alone issues. Never cries in public though. Mans just wants his brothers back.

Is definitely the clingiest of the Batch, even compared to Wrecker. AND, loves hugs. Like, looks and sounds like a porcupine, but melts to hugs. Will not pull away first.

Crosshair seems like a porcupine but is really a sad hamster. Dude needs a break.

[bookofmirth]

On every character sarah writes having the same personality: why does every main girl have to be this big planner who has multiple plans on backup and never tells people, only to surprise everyone when everything goes right at the end with no prior explanation... idk if I'm putting this right, but it just made me very... annoyed

Like yeah, that worked great with Aelin, sure, but for me it just doesn't fit with Bryce? Especially on how she was just thrown at this and suddenly figured out she was The Chosen One(tm). It really bugged me, idk

Fair warning, this post rips Bryce a new asshole - not as a person, but as a character that sjm created. So I'm putting it under the cut.

Just to start, in context I said that all the hofas characters ended up having the same personality - though you can make a case for her reusing a lot of the same descriptions and such for all of them. ANYWAY...

To me, the issue is not just that Bryce keeps doing things behind the scenes that we never get any hint of, it's a bigger issue that we never get a hint that she even gives a shit.

With Aelin, at least we already knew what she was working towards and why. We already knew what she cared about and how far she was willing to go to get it. Aelin caring about Terrasen and her court and saving the people she loved was never in question. Her trauma from finding her parents dead, her fear at losing the rest of the people she loved, the weight of responsibility that she felt, we knew all of those things pretty much from the get-go. Her tendency to shut people out could be considered a flaw because she didn't trust other people to help her. We don't know about Terrasen right away, and tbh I don't remember what history we get instead and so I need to reread, but I can point to very specific values, goals, and motivations that make Aelin act the way that she does.

But Bryce - the central problem with her as a character is that Bryce doesn't care about anything, and sjm never figured out what she cares about, either.

Characters need to have central things that they care about, that drive them, motivations, things that they fear and things they would go to great lengths to protect. They need flaws, and clear relationships to the world around them. I could make a list of those things for a lot of her characters. Not all, but most.

With Bryce, I have NO IDEA what those things are. That makes it so that when she randomly find Emile, it just seems like she did it to come across like a nice person. She doesn't care about what humans are experiencing, she shits on Vanir/fae all the time, she treats Hunt pretty poorly, she isn't close to Juniper or Fury (see: their near disappearance from hofas), Danika kept so many secrets from her that I seriously doubt the depth of their relationship. Bryce was working in that library museum thing for Jesiba (I'm already erasing the series from my memory oh my god) and going out and partying and that was all well and good, but... was she going to do those things when she's 200, too? I'm not even saying that she needs to like, go get married or whatever, but she literally has no goals in life!

SJM saying that Bryce is the fun, cute party girl who also has a deep, intellectual side, a pretty woman who can also kick ass, okay, but she needs a reason to kick ass. SJM completely forgot to include the second half of that equation, which is ironic since that was a big point of her character - to prove that women can be feminine and strong, wear high heels and be smart. She failed miserably in my opinion, if that really was the goal of Bryce's character.

When Aelin is snarky to people, I know why. When Bryce is a bitch, it comes out of nowhere and is often turned on people who actually deserve her time and attention and empathy (e.g. Sathia). Aelin is an asshole to that one dude whose name starts with a D because he's a man who is underestimating her and wants to refuse to let her lead because he assumes she will be bad at it. When Bryce is an asshole to Sathia, WHY. I mean really, I wanted to throw my book across the fucking page!!!! Because that's a perfect example of how, if Bryce was guided by a set of values (feminism, I guess?) then she would have responded very differently to Sathia, who has experienced literally the exact same thing Bryce has (being betrothed to someone against her will). Instead, Bryce throws that line back in her face about "well I never let that stop me" as if what Sathia has experienced is her own fault for... not trying enough??? PLEASE. ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.

The whole "girlboss" thing needs.... something driving it. You can't just bulldoze people and call it being empowered. And I think that sjm has really, really simplified gender and sexuality in CC to the point that that's really the only distinction that matters. That's maybe another issue. I just have a lot of thoughts about these things lol.

Anyway. This is what happens when you write a character built on aesthetic and #girlpower, rather than making them a complete person with fears and values and joys and goals and motivations and flaws.

Okay one more point, this is NOT beyond sjm's capabilities. She obviously is much better at writing characters than this. I just think that sometimes, something suffers when you try new things. In CC, sjm was giving actual world building and magic systems a go. And the characters, really, REALLY fucking suffered for it.

[daylighted]

who do you think would take longer to start dating?

lore and sam or baby and dean?

i wanna say … dean and baby 😭 which is so ironic because sam is so much more denial about lore than dean was about baby 😭 sam is just so sweetpea <3 in the beginning he tries SO hard to deny it but she’s PRETTYY and she has TATTOOS and she lets him talk theories without dean’s silly snarky comments & baby’s (well intended) Nonstop Curiosity^tm & so he was doomed from the jump

dean is just very determined to fight his attraction because he hardly ever lets himself have something good because he doesn’t think he deserves it. and baby is SO good :( literally was created & only knew one thing: that she loved him!!! and as sad as it is its like … the first time in a long he’s been loved without thinking he has to prove he’s worthy. and so it is so hard for him to let her in but she is literally just happy having him there however she can !!!

[skaruresonic]

Yes, because when he told Blaze not to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders in Rush, he was speaking from firsthand experience of guarding the Chaos Emeralds under the threat of apocalypse. He didn't step out of his own shoes for two seconds and think to himself, "But it seems like she's had a rough past" …wait

IDW!Sonic would be more like

"He's just like me fr fr" strikes again. Once more we have Games!Sonic heavily implied to be unrealistic, as if A.) he has no emotions, and B.) the only way he can empathize with others is by making things really about himself.

"Nobody can be endlessly positive" - okay, but Games!Sonic... isn't.

He has doubts. He gets tired. He makes mistakes. He feels sadness and guilt. He has a temper, gets frustrated, gets irritated (sometimes with his friends, even!). He's not some perfect smiling Pollyanna who's never suffered a single doubt in his life just because he prefers not to dwell on the negative. It's just that his will is so strong that he knows setbacks are temporary and he keeps pushing on regardless.

However, he's also not the type to wear his every emotion on his sleeve a la Amy and Eggman, and expecting him to is putting an unfair onus on him to be something he's not. Somehow his positivity, which is supposed to be inspirational and not strictly relatable, translates into "he has no Realistic Emotions(tm)." And it irks me to no end because once again, you are denying merit and dimension to Games!Sonic's character.

Not to mention, where would he have gotten this experience? The metal virus? Sonic pretty much had to run himself ragged just for a chance of survival. He didn't have a choice. It's not like he forfeited sleep because he wanted to.

All those times he should have taken responsibility… He didn't. Sonic can't assume too much responsibility if he shirks the ones he already has.

Also, listen. As someone who is currently experiencing vertigo and burnout at a degree that makes it difficult to be functional (can't really do much if the only state you can tolerate is lying down): if Sonic gave me this advice, in those words, I would be discouraged. He's emphasizing how ~useless~ the burned-out person would be to others instead of emphasizing that health is in and of itself important.

Jewel is already hard on herself---why add to her guilt by saying "relax or else you won't be able to serve others?" I mean, I already feel guilty that my brain and body basically shortcircuited from stress. thanks, Sonic

Furthermore, how come he didn't whip out this pep talk for Amy when she was overworking herself?

Oh, yeah, right. In issue 12, the Chaotix swung by demanding pay and he pretty much left her high and dry with a snarky look on his face.

I'm not just being A Hater(tm) like usual, either; the book makes frequent mention of how exhausted, busy, and stressed Amy is. The following examples all come from different arcs.

[theangryhistoriananna]

Your thoughts on Wolf Hall (series & books)? Masterpiece or overrated? How you feel about the portrayals of the Boleyn clan (Anne, George, Jane & Mary)? What about the main character, is it a good portrayal of Cromwell or does Mantel try to whitewash him? Do you think this idea of "almost every woman falls for Cromwell" is interesting or ridiculous?

So I actually recently re-read the books Wolf Hall, Bring Up the Bodies and The Mirror and the Light because in the past three years or so I've really stopped harping on historical fiction as much as young dumb history student Anna used to over their historical accuracy. That isn't to say that I don't still care about portrayals of actual historical figures, I still do (because they were real people and we need to remember that when using them in fictional stories), but now to me what matters more is if they are telling a good story.

So I decided to read Mantel again to see if she was in fact good at telling a good story using Cromwell and the court of Henry VIII.

Mantel is a talented enough writer when it comes to drawing allegories and describing scenery, to be sure. But she's lazy and she's boring and that really shows through in Wolf Hall especially (oh God Wolf Hall is a slog to get through). Bring Up the Bodies and The Mirror and the Light were okay reads, I didn't hate them as much as I remember hating Bring Up the Bodies the first time I read it (I'd never read the third one before) but I didn't exactly enjoy them either.

If you asked me to give a one sentence review I'd say: They're perfectly fine books.

As for portrayals? It's very obvious that Mantel is a message-driven writer over a character driven writer. Where the message we want to get across inform the characters' actions more than anything else. Now this isn't necessarily bad, and actually I kind of prefer this style of writing in some genres. That being said, with characters like the Boleyns, who already have terrible reputations in fiction and (with George and Jane in particular) non fiction alike, it feels like beating a dead horse to see these tropes trotted out yet again. Anne is ambitious and mean spirited (not even defensive mean like, she's just mean for no reason?), George is useless and a wife beater, said wife Jane Boleyn is bitter and snarky and generally unlikable, and Mary is the One Good Boleyn(tm). There is basically no nuance to any of them, and I find that irritating. We've seen this song and dance 10000000 times before.

I wanna go deeper into my very VERY complicated feelings about the portrayal of Cromwell in this series. So the short answer to a very very very long answer is, historically wise? Yes Cromwell is whitewashed in this series, though not as much as a lot of people seem to think he was? But honestly? I don't mind? Mantel's Cromwell was BY FAR the best character in the series (alongside Mantel's Henry) and I won't fault her for using him to write this story about elitism and what people have to sacrifice and do to get close to power, and how easily it can turn on you. Because, hell does it fit Cromwell.