#The Russians are Coming The Russians are Coming

[crtter]

I added a shortened version of this on tags but I think it’s better as a full comment: People who are fighting in the notes. Please. The point of OP’s post isn't that Polish people aren't allowed to be mad to be mistaken for German or Russian because they’ve been both under German and Russian occupation. The point is that a LOT of people who take offense with their country being mistaken for countries they’ve historically been at odds with don’t find it an issue when the same thing is done to people from Asian and African countries.

Like, as any European knows very well, just because countries are geographically close to each other, might have some overlapping cultural aspects and sometimes even speak the same language, it doesn’t mean they haven’t clashed against each other in the past and insisting that people are “just the same” as people who have historically oppressed them just due to proximity and (sometimes just perceived) cultural similarities is equally as tone-deaf, no matter which country or continent we��re talking about.

For example, westerners often confuse or lump China, Korea and Japan together under having similar cuisines, culture, etc. to the point where “Asian restaurants” are a thing. But both China and Korea were colonized by the Japanese during its colonial empire era, and it’s a sensitive topic in all three of those countries to this day. People of Korean descent born in Japan couldn’t both be registered under Korean names and have Japanese citizenship until 1987. That’s the same year Dirty Dancing was in theaters. The same year Whitney Houston released I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me).

Similarly, Africa is very, very often thought and spoken of as a “country” instead of a continent with a single culture and identity, when it’s actually comprised of 54 different countries and around 3000 different ethnic groups. If you tell, for example, a Somali person that they’re indistinguishable from Ethiopians to you, they’re very likely not going to be very pleased as Somalia and Ethiopia have clashed over Ethiopian expansion over Somali territory since the 12th century! The last time there has been armed conflict over it? 2006. In 2006, you could already have Twitter and Facebook accounts and play games on the Nintendo Wii.

I’m not saying you have to know the historical relationships between every single country and cultural/religious/ethnic group in the world. Just be, like, sensible. If the thought of your country or an identity of yours being dismissed as being “the same thing” as a people who have oppressed, waged wars against or interacted in any violent manner towards your ancestors or you upsets you, just know that people feel the same all over the world. If you want to talk about some cultural element that you know comes from a place in a certain continent but not the exact country, look it up. Do a bit of research. Does it take more effort than to generalize? Of course. But if being considerate was completely effortless, there wouldn’t be nearly as many assholes in the world.

Good double feature here

[little-lynx]

Merry Christmas!

Hey! Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates! ♥️

We have absolutely ordinary day here but I wanted to congratulate you all with something nice ♥️ So here are main characters of my blog haha ;)

(I will come back with my annual winter Everlark illustration on a Russian Christmas Eve as always)

Have a wonderful day, sweethearts!

[yanderedrabbles]

Yandere Christmas Special

Christmas festivities featuring your local kidnappers Yandere! Soldier and Yandere! Sugar Daddy.

Yandere! Soldier who spends all Christmas morning at mass. And when he comes home, snow thick on his uniform, he smells like incense.

"Come see. I've brought you something."

There's a bottle of strong vodka and a frosted fruitcake waiting for you on the counter. You watch him unwrap the cake, your mind wandering to your family, to Christmas mornings when you were still an angsty teen. Did they think you were dead by now? Were they still looking for you?

He cuts a thick slice and holds it to your lips. It's sweet and dense and leaves your mouth sticky.

Yandere! Soldier who tilts your chin towards him and casually runs his thumb across your bottom lip to catch any stray crumbs.

"Let's drink, yeah?"

The vodka is icy cold and bitter. But the taste makes you think of friends and university and late nights when you were too tipsy to stand but oh so warm inside. You throw back more shots than normal, trying to chase the memories.

It's only when he gently pulls the bottle away that you realise you're far past tipsy. You're straight hammered.

You stumble when you stand and he's quick to catch you, one strong arm around your waist.

"You've got no head for drink, моя любовь."

"What does that mean?"

"It means it's time for bed."

You swat at him, irritated. "No. The Russian you used. What does it mean?"

He gently steers you toward the bedroom. "It means my love."

You twist around to face him. "Do you really love me?"

He raises a brow. "Alcohol loosens your tongue, doesn't it?"

He's quiet for a moment, studying you. The flush of your cheeks, the curve of your neck... You're everything he's ever wanted.

"Yes. I really love you. Я клянусь, что да."

I swear I do.

You stand on your toes and kiss him. Cradle his face in your palms and feel the heat of him bleed into you. You're so awfully cold, so awfully lonely. You'll regret it in the morning, but for now you press into him and chase the taste of vodka on his lips.

He pulls away and presses sweet, ticklish kisses against your inner wrist. He can feel your pulse racing.

"я полагаю, это мой рождес��венский подарок."

I suppose this is my Christmas present.

He grabs your thighs and picks you up. You wrap your arms around his neck, terrified of falling. Your breath ghosts across his neck and your nails dig stinging crescents into his muscles.

He doesn't say it out loud, but it's the best gift he's ever gotten.

Yandere! Sugar Daddy has a tree stacked high with gifts. On Christmas morning, he wakes you up with a kiss and a mug of your favourite hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream and cinnamon sticks.

At first, you assume most of the boxes are just for decoration. There's over a dozen boxes waiting for you - they can't all be gifts, right?

But you should know him better by now. You unwrap present after present, gasping at each one.

A set of custom perfumes from a high fashion brand. Ten different pieces of Tiffany jewellery. A genuine fur coat. Your first pair of Louboutin heels.

Keys to a new car.

You sit in the middle of a treasure trove, struggling to wrap your head around it. He rests his chin on your shoulder and pushes his glasses up his nose.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes! Yes, it's incredible." You turn to face him. "But babe, this must have cost a fortune. I can't accept all of this."

He tilts his head. "Of course you can. I got it all for you."

You're about to argue when he cuts you off. "You said you got me something too?"

You nod and hand him two packages. Your dollar store wrapping paper is glaring cheap next to his.

He unwraps his gifts slowly. The first one is a journal you picked up in a thrift store, weeks before your argument left you trapped with him. Back when you still had your freedom.

You got your artist friend to emboss his name in gold leaf on the front cover. He flips it open to the first page.

To my tech genius boyfriend. This is what we normies call paper. You use it to record all the times your girlfriend is just absolutely incredible, got it? -y/n

He smirks and rubs the page between his fingers.

"I've only heard distant legends of this 'paper'... How fascinating."

You groan. "It seemed funny at the time okay?"

His next gift is a pottery vase, with elegant fluted handles. It's a deep cream with flecks of reddish iron bleeding through. He stares at it, his expression blank.

Your heart drops.

The truth is, you spent months looking for that specific vase. And when you finally found someone willing to sell, the price they named made your jaw drop. You haggled like hell for it. Practically begged the seller on your hands and knees to let you pay it off over a few months. Until this morning, it was a gift you were proud to give him.

But his gifts to you took all morning to unwrap, while all you can offer is a shitty notebook and some amateur pottery. You hate not being able to return his generosity in equal measure. You hate feeling like you're always giving him the short end of the stick. Even now, when you have every reason to hate him, it hurts that you can't spoil him like he does you.

He finally looks up at you, dazed. "This is an original Murazaki. How did you know I wanted one?"

"You mentioned it a few months ago. When we were having dinner together in my apartment."

He puts the vase down carefully.

"You remembered?"

It's your turn to be confused. "Of course? You were really upset about it. You said he was your favourite artist but that you could never find any of his stuff for sale."

He stares at you like he's trying to pick you apart. You look down, embarrassed.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't get you more gifts. I feel like an ass. Like the world's worst girl-"

He grabs you before you can finish and pulls you flush against him. He buries his face in your hair. He takes a deep breath, like he needs to control himself.

"You remembered."

He kisses your temple and then presses his forehead against yours. His voice is low and loving and just a little shaky.

"Oh y/n, you're the best gift I could ask for."

Bonus: a yandere who only has one thing on his Christmas wishlist - you.

You wake up under his Christmas tree, cold and confused and still groggy from the sleeping pills he slipped you.

Your hands are tied behind your back and there's a cherry red gag in your mouth. You squirm, trying to pull your hands free. The floor is icy against your naked skin. Wait, naked?

You look down, horror clawing it's slow way up your throat. Most of your clothes are gone. And you're almost completely wrapped in ribbon.

Your thighs are held together with an excruciatingly tight bow. Two green rosettes are pinned to the lace of your bra. You can't see it, but there's a cute red bow stuck on your head too.

The door opens and you hear heavy footsteps on the basement stairs. You squirm, increasingly desperate to get loose.

"Wouldcha look at that? Santa brought me exactly what I asked for."

Your kidnapper squats down next to you, his eyes roaming your body. Taking in all the curves and dips. Mapping it out like it's his to explore. He reaches out and tugs at the ribbon tied around your throat.

"My girl all wrapped up under the Christmas tree."

He grabs your chin and tilts your face up towards his. His eyes are dark - the pupils blown out wide with lust, with hunger.

"Merry Christmas baby. I promise it'll be one you never forget.

[littlemissclandestine]

ASK: ahhh i’m obsessed w ur adler headcanons!! pretty pretty plsss could we have more soft!adler headcanons? or maybe a few headcanons for how adler might react to realising he’s slowly falling for bell!reader before they discover the brainwash twist?? 🥺👉👈 either way just wanna express my appreciation for how you characterise him!! <3

Author's Note: Tehe back at it idk. This was an ask I got months ago but just had incredibly bad writer's and art block. Trying to get those creative juices flowing again! Thank you so much for the ask and the kind comments anon. I really really appreciate it. Hope you enjoy! <3 (your ask disappeared after i put it into Tumblr drafts??)

More Soft!Adler Headcanons:

In the morning before work, Russell wakes up a little earlier than you to spend some more time on his appearance. You see him shaving his few day old stubble and decide to help him out, taking the razor. He’d study your facial expression as you concentrate on going round each jagged edge of his scar, making sure to not cut him. His blue eyes tracing every little mark on your face, absolutely in awe of how beautiful you are even when you furrow your brows and he’d gently push a strand or two of hair out the way that had fallen over your eye. As you rinse the blade under the tap, he’d grab your chin and peck your lips, getting the taste of shaving foam in your mouth and you two would laugh about it.

I can imagine in Winter, Russell and his s/o ordering hot chocolate with some cream on top/coffee, walking and talking. When he notices your cream/foam moustache, he chuckles to himself but you pay it no mind, thinking it was his response to something you said. But he chuckles again and you question him. -> “Oh uh nothing. You just uh…got a little um...hold on.” He’d lean in and lick your lips before planting a kiss on them and leaning back to look at you with a smile, leaving you dumbfounded.

Witty jokes and comments that make you think how the hell did he come up with that one are definitely on the menu. Russell will sometimes randomly just burst into Russian or German mode and will try and teach you some words and jokes too. Mostly the swear words because everybody wants to know the swear words 

Adler and his fellow operatives were chatting one day in public with their gear on as they were on their way back to a hotel for the night before their early morning flight but the sight of kids running up to him caught his eye. They asked him questions, the usual ones, the story behind the scar and what he does for a living. At first, he wasn’t exactly the warmest towards them but when one of the kids begged him to pick them up, he grumbled and gave in, watching them just take his sunglasses and the other asking if they could touch the scar, earning a smile from him. Him an his group sat down and spent some time kicking a ball around and taking the time out for the children before they had to head back. Adler gave them all fistbumps and bent down to plant a cap on one of their heads with a wink and a side smile -> “Keep it. I don’t need it, kid.”

Slowly falling for Bell!Reader Headcanons: Part 1

Russell Adler didn’t think it was possible to be honest. Him falling for another person. Always thought of himself as a lone wolf after his divorce. Never took any interest in dates or anything because he simply didn’t have the time and partly due to a fear of being hurt again that he refused to acknowledge

Yet he found himself weirdly drawn to you. Maybe it was a sick and twisted fantasy of his, the visage of him being a human, cracking with every fleeting touch. The true monster in him seeping out, revealing his true colours

When he picked you up and out of the SUV in Trabzon, he felt nothing. Perhaps some sense of accomplishment as he was one step closer to locating the man he’d been chasing for 13 years but nothing more. As the initial interrogations continued in a secure location and your balaclava was yanked off by his own hands, a part of him knew he’d get attached when he saw you, in your rawest form  but he quickly pushed that thought away as fast as it appeared in his mind. But it’d creep up every now and then during the experimentation as he’d speak into the microphone and exhale the smoke through his nose as he stared at you through the glass, watching you carefully before dipping his head as he hears you let out a gut-wrenching scream and struggle in the chair, putting out his cigarette and calling it a day.

He’d catch a whiff of your perfume nearby to where he was working in the safehouse. The perfume on your wrists stayed behind on the desk after your leaned over to pass him something or rested your forearms on the desk. The subtle scent of your shampoo and body wash in the bathroom, lingering in the air. He’d inhale deeply and close his eyes, imagining you as his head resting on the back of his chair for a few moments before he stopped himself and his eyes snapped open, making sure nobody was nearby as if he was scared someone could read his thoughts.

A candle you’d left on for him as he worked late into the night once was never forgotten. Adler would relight it to remind himself of you when you were gone on a mission with the others, telling himself it’s just because it smells nice.

A Brick in the Wall: As Bell took photos of Kraus, Russell would glance over at her, watch you paying attention, adjusting the camera lens, sticking your tongue out as the camera shutter clicked and a small smile would creep onto his lips before he looked away and cleared his throat, giving you your next order. God, what was he thinking?

Some things however were just pure protective instinct. Like grabbing your forearm to pull you away from the railing as you stepped up onto to look over the edge of a balcony at night. He needed you alive for the mission of course, no other reason

 Or when he’d tuck his extra magazines into your ammo packs and make sure all your straps and harness were tight enough. Or even holding his arm out and across your chest when he had to hit the brakes hard while driving with a gentle you okay? after a few beats of silence

Or when he’d bought some food and you were out of it after an MK-Ultra session during the early days and he’d give you a little extra without a word to keep your strength up, looking into your eyes briefly as you cried but the guilt was creeping up on him and he’d leave before you sobbed. He’d close the door just as you burst into tears, his hand on the doorknob behind him and he’d sigh deeply, his eyes shut, trying to compose himself before walking off to find Park. They’re just a red. He’d remind himself constantly. But just a kid too…

Desperate Measures: As Belikov let the two of you in and you took out the guards and changed into their uniforms, he couldn’t help but sneak a few glances. Before you walked up the stairs, he stopped you and checked you over, head to toe, the expression on his face neutral but his mind was in overdrive. Russell took a step closer and his hands found the bottom of your skirt and tugged on it, pulling it down so it revealed less. A single nod and his lips a thin line before he turned and walked off. He refused to admit he didn’t want anyone looking at you the way he did.

He finds himself a little self conscious. This isn’t like him..since when was Russell motherfuckin’ Adler worried about the way he was perceived by a red of all people? Putting more aftershave on himself, a spray of cologne to mask the smell of cigarettes that had found its way into his clothing after years of the bad habit. A quick check in the mirror to adjust his outfit and hair before pushing the bridge of his sunglasses up and into place

Safe to say, you took him by surprise. He was of course impressed by your combat and cryptography skills as well as endurance during MK-Ultra, thinking it was such a shame you were on the wrong side. Began thinking of what-ifs…

After one particularly gruelling session, you were screaming and refusing to take the pills that Park was giving you to help you sleep, saying they made you want to vomit and the anti-sickness was not doing anything but Park explained that she couldn’t do much about it. Russell heard this from the other side of the door as he walked past your room late at night, telling Sims to source a different medicine he knew of. The next day, he entered your room as you wailed again, thrashing against your cot and he adminstered a dose, barely speaking to you before leaving again but as you clutched his hand, he rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand before letting go. Your touch overwhelmed him.

When he’d see you hang out and play poker or some board games with the others as he was filing reports and chasing up contacts, a tiny frown would form on his face, he’d start picking at the skin on his lips as he watched them or he’d look down and dust his pants off or fiddle with a pen, anything to distract himself from the green-eyed monster

If he heard you singing a song in the other room, he’d put it on for you in the car without a word spoken, you just staring at Adler as if to say how did you know that?

On one chilly night, you fell asleep in the dark room and Adler stood there in the doorway, looking at you, your breathing steady, face rid of anguish and you looked at peace in the red light. Slowly, he made his way over and draped his jacket round your shoulders, thinking to himself it’s just what any decent person would do. Can’t have his tool catching a cold now…

During stakeouts, Russell would start telling you random facts about himself he’s never told another person, saying to himself you’ll be gone soon anyways, that you were an outsider so that’s why it was easier to talk to you.

This feeling he had only seemed to grow with each mission. Instead of letting the others help you out when injured, he’d grip your shoulder as soon as they got in, steering you towards the nearest stool before anyone had a chance to say anything and command you to sit, treating you like the dog you are while he fetched the supplies.

As the weeks passed, he’d take you to your room and patch you up there, wanting some one-on-one time with you, making casual conversation, half to distract you from the pain and half to suppress the thoughts going round in his mind about being so close to losing you

He made you laugh once or twice and couldn’t stop thinking about it. It sounded even better than when Woods or the other crew members made you laugh and it made him smile to which you pointed out but he stood up and left shortly after, his standard, stoic expression returning to his face

Adler would stay up on a few occasions to make sure you slept, scanning your face as the pills began to take effect, his arms folded as he stood, looming over you, his finger scratching at his arm even though it wasn’t itchy. It was just unease which he consistently pushed down but he noticed he was getting more fidgety when it came to you. Almost like the guilt was eating him from the inside out. He’d take off his watch, place his cigs on the side and settle into a chair, telling himself it’s just for a few minutes but once he did stay the whole night, leaving before the others woke up. Nobody ever knew

If you ever asked about your time together as friends and during Vietnam when you’d having trouble remembering, he’d keep it short and sweet, but every now and then he’d make up something that was what he wished it would have been like. Nothing too out there.

During mission briefings, he’d find himself laying his attention on you the most as he talked, wanting to know you were really listening to him and secretly asking for your input too and once the others had returned to what they were doing before, he’d pull you to the side, asking you if you were okay with the plan and if there’s anything you need to go over. I mean, you were the main star of course so it makes sense but his hand would reach for your upper arm and then retract. Boundaries, Adler…

One thing that killed him though was the fact that you only ever grabbed him out of fear, during MK-Ultra when you didn’t want him to leave, when in agony from a gunshot wound, or just as you dropped off to sleep after he injected your when you were being disobedient. Couldn’t admit he wanted you to grab onto him in desperation as he- Get a grip, Adler! When did he start thinking of you like that?

After Cuba, he felt nothing. No sense of accomplishment yet as he was one step further away from locating the man he’d been chasing for 13 years but now he was two steps closer to saying goodbye to you for good…

[holdmytesseract]

So Close To Love

Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Summary: On Tony's Christmas party isn't a certain God able to keep his eyes from you, and yet he can't bring himself to make a move - or can he?

Warnings: alcohol, music? idiots in love, not a happy end but I'd say there's hope, feels, slight thirst?

Word Count: 2,4k

a/n: Merry Christmas, y'all! I hope this lil' present I have for you manages to put a smile on your faces! 🤗🎄

This oneshot is kinda based on that song:

Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist

divider by @jiyascepter

"Must I really attend this ridiculous Christmas party of that arrogant imbecile, calling himself a-" "Brother," Thor cut Loki off rebukingly. "Enough. Behave yourself, I beg of you. I know you don't wish to attend, but it will be good for you. You have to show interest or Fury might question your probation - once more," the blond Asgardian chided. "It's for your best and you know it. Now come on, get dressed."

Loki rolled his eyes, but deep down knew that his brother was - unfortunately - right. With a soft, annoyed groan he lifted himself off of the comfortable beanbag in his reading corner and closed the book shut he held in his hands. Thor smiled like a Cheshire cat - proud of having convinced his stubborn sibling.

With the snap of Loki's fingers engulfed him an emerald green haze and replaced the sweatpants and t-shirt with black slacks, shiny black dress shoes and a very formfitting shirt - also black. "There. Are you happy now, brother?"

The god of thunder's smile did not cease; one meaty hand reaching out to clap his brother rather harshly on the shoulder. "Yes, I am. Let us join the party!" Thor already marched towards the main door. "I bet Lady Y/N will be present as well," he added with a small wink and stomped out of Loki's apartment. The raven haired god rolled his eyes once again, "Oaf." but couldn't shake the nervous feeling and anticipation flame up inside him. If you were truly going to be there... His heart skipped a beat at the mere thought. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes upon. A goddess. An angel walking the earth. And your sweet, kind and selfless personality... How you conquered his heart without even knowing...

"Brother!" "Oh, for Norns sake, I am coming!"

"Okay, what do you think?" You stepped out of your bathroom; taking a deep breath. You slowly twirled in a circle then; showing off the dress you chose to wear for Tony's Christmas party to Nat and Wanda. Red - fitting the topic.

Both your best friend's jaws dropped. You giggled. "Good or horrible?" "Neither, babes. This is... stunningly sexy, yet cute." Wanda nodded; agreeing with the Russian spy. "Absolutely." You looked down yourself. "Yeah? Really? It's not too much?" "No. Not if you try to attract the attention of a certain man - or should I say god?" You reached over and threw a pillow your friend's way; hitting her square on the stomach. "Shut up, Nat! He isn't interested in me - and we all know that." You walked back inside the bathroom to check a last time on your hair, but actually desperately tried to hide the blush on your face - because Natasha was right.

While you tried to flee, exchanged the Widow a knowing look with the Scarlet Witch; both women suppressing their giggles. They knew. Of course, they knew.

The party was already in full swing, as you stepped through the opened doors of Tony's penthouse apartment. The band in the corner - dressed in fancy golden shimmering suits played some classical Christmas songs, but also normal music. You saw waiters paving their ways through the crowd of Avengers, rich people and several hot shots of the American government, SHIELD and the military. They held glasses of champagne and fancy little snacks on trays. Some people already occupied the dance floor, others were chatting or nursing drink after drink at the festively decorated bar. It smelled like expensive alcohol, rich cologne and remnants of cold smoke. It was awful.

You were an Avenger and had every right to attend this party - and yet you felt so out of place.

"Come on, babes. Let's get a drink and have some fun," Natasha's voice ripped you out of your thoughts; feeling her tug you after her. You didn't even protest and followed your best friends; greeting Steve, Tony, Pepper and Bucky on the way.

Thor and Loki were seated on a creme white leather sofa across the room; close to the huge French door, which led to the roof garden. Both men had a drink in their hands. While the blond god chatted enthusiastically with Dr. Jane Foster and a few other... scientists, Loki found himself utterly bored; having to witness his brother's lousy attempts at flirting. He rolled his eyes subtly, and brought the glass in his hand to his lips in order to take a sip of the alcoholic liquid - and almost choked.

His eyes had travelled across the spacious apartment, and had landed directly on you. The raven haired god hadn't spotted you before, but now that he did, he felt like he could barely breathe. You wore a stunningly beautiful red dress, which highlighted your curves to perfection and suited your whole appearance. Loki couldn't help but to stare; distracted by your looks and the sweet smile upon your lips, which managed to turn his knees into jelly.

"You should ask her to dance, you know." Thor's quietened voice suddenly urged to his ears. He noticed how close his brother had slid over to him on the sofa; his gaze directed on you as well. Loki scoffed and played it cool; downing the rest of his Martini. "Why in Odin's name should I do that, brother? I can tell there already is a line with men wanting to dance with her. See all those rich sycophants eye-fucking her?" He jutted his head at a group of men in tuxedos; standing only a few bar tables away. Thor's eyes followed. "I bet they'd do everything to get her attention and lure her into their 'honey-trap'. She doesn't need another one."

"Why don't you make sure to get her before they can, brother? Are you truly willing to lose the Lady of your interest to such vile men?" The raven haired god stood up from the sofa, "You forget that I am no hero, Thor." and walked away without another word; straight to the bar. The blond god only shook his head in disbelief.

The evening progressed; alcohol flew and caused the party to get wilder. By now, almost everybody had fun on the makeshift dance floor - no matter the song. Loki, though, was still sitting alone at the bar; glad that nobody had approached him. After all, he had just attended the party because it was the 'best for him' and good for his reputation. Which reputation? The god asked himself; almost starting to chuckle. He hated it to be here and yet he hadn't left.

The reason was simple...

He found himself unable to avert his eyes from you. He tried, but failed gloriously. Loki watched you dance with one man after the other - all of them besuited billionaire playboys; each of them trying to flatter and impress you more. As if it was a competition. He could already feel the bile rising in his throat by the mere look at them. This wasn't the proper way to gain the attention of a lady. Typical mortal men... It disgusted him.

Another feeling he also couldn't shake was jealousy... Yes, he was jealous of that unworthy mortal scum touching you in such an intimate way. Dancing was an art. The expression of feelings and status. Obviously not on Midgard...

What Loki didn't see, though, with being blinded by jealousy and frustration, was that you absolutely didn't enjoy yourself. You hated these... machos just as much as Loki, and yet you were too kind to recline their ask for a dance and your attention.

"Save her." A feminine, quite familiar voice urged to his ears through the music. The god frowned and slowly turned on his bar stool to face the 'intruder'. "What are you talking about, Miss Romanoff?" The Widow's gaze drifted over to you, then back to Loki. "Don't act innocent, Laufeyson. You know exactly what I'm talking about," Nat urged him on just like his brother. She gave the god a smile alongside a wink, ordered another drink and vanished in the crowd again.

A groan of distress left the god's lips; his pointer finger dancing over his bottom lip in thought.

Again he let his eyes wander over to you. His gaze lingered and he felt his chest tightened. No, he couldn't. Swallowing hard, he averted his eyes once again and redirected his attention to the bartender. "Another, please." The friendly man behind the counter nodded and replaced his empty glass with a full one.

Once Loki had downed this drink as well, he stood up with a sigh and turned to finally leave - crashing into another body. Out of instinct, his arms reached out to steady the person he just almost ran over. "Apologies, I-" When the god lifted his gaze and found himself staring into your mesmerising Y/E/C eyes, his breath hitched. "Y-Y/N..." Loki desperately tried to keep it together; clearing his throat. "I did not mean to run into you. Again, my apologies." He didn't notice that his palms were still gently gripping your upper arms - but you did; having a hard time to hide the blush on your cheeks.

"N-No! No need to apologise. I-I mean, I should've watched where I'm going as well, so..." You smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear - a nervous habit. "It's fine, really." That was a lie. In fact, nothing was fine. Your heart was running a marathon; the sudden encounter caused your feelings to run wild.

Loki gave you a small smile as well, "Very well." and cleared his throat, as he noticed that he was still holding you; quickly letting go of you.

Your skin tingled where he had touched you, and you couldn't deny that you were already longing for his touch again.

An awkward moment of silence between the two of you passed, but before any of you could say something, the lights in the apartment got suddenly dimmed and the music changed.

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight I've never seen you shine so bright, mhm-hmm

Some might say it gave off romantic vibes. Major romantic vibes...

From the corner of your eyes you could see couples starting to sway together to the famous soft rock song.

I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance

Loki swallowed hard and licked his lips; heart threatening to break free from his ribcage. "Dance with me," the god suddenly uttered; mouth working faster than his brain could think. "Please." Your gaze lifted to meet his again - and feared you were going to drown in those beautiful blues. "Yes." It was your heart speaking.

The handsome god gave you another soft smile, before he gently reached for your hand and took a few steps backwards; pulling you gently with him and away from the bar.

And I have never seen that dress you're wearing Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes I have been blind

Loki's hand found your waist then; his other hand engulfing your smaller one. You bit your lip and placed your free hand on his black shirt clad shoulder. Together, you started to sway to the music.

The lady in red Is dancing with me, cheek to cheek

It felt so different. Different from any other man you had danced with tonight. It felt right. How gentle, yet firm Loki's touch was. How he guided you over the dance floor. The way his hand held yours. It was overwhelming.

Almost shyly you lifted your head; eyes locking with those endless blues of his. And once more you felt yourself drowning. No words were exchanged. Neither of you had to. You could read it on the god's face; saw it in his eyes.

The dozens of other people faded into a blur around you. It was just you and Loki. Nobody else existed in that very moment.

You could feel yourself closing the distance between you further; your head resting against his firm shoulder. Loki's heart skipped several beats - unbeknownst to you. And he certainly did not reject the invitation. He let the hand on your waist slowly glide to rest on the small of your back; pushing you even closer against his body. You were so close now that you could smell his intoxicating cologne with every breath you took. Leather, charred wood and something citrusy. It caused your head to spin.

You could also feel his definitely unsteady breath against the burning hot skin of your cheek - and you could swear you could still smell the remnants of alcohol. Martini?

Without even noticing had your gaze dropped to his lips; wondering how they would feel against yours. Wondering how he'd taste.

Perhaps Loki was able to read your mind. Or he could feel it to. Whatever it was, it urged him on to lower his head; nose grazing your cheek as his lips hovered over yours. You feared that your heart was going to explode; anticipation and want coursing through your veins.

Loki was about to finally close the remaining distance between the two of you, when the lighting got turned up again; the brightness almost blinding - and the moment between you and the god bursting like a bubble. The both of you could do nothing but blink; now standing an arm length away form each other again.

"I-I'm sorry," Loki muttered and before you could say something, he had vanished in the crowd of people around you. With your mouth slightly agape you stared a hole in the floor where the god had been standing just a few seconds ago; stunned. Your brain was having a hard time to process what just happened. Hence, you didn't even know what exactly happened...

Loki cursed under his breath as he stumbled into his dark, empty apartment in the Avengers tower. He was such a fool. How could he be so stupid to just leave you standing there? He could've had all he ever wanted - and now he was sitting on the floor; back pressed against the frame of his bed, black curls a mess and black shirt halfway undone, with empty hands. And why? All because the oh so brave and arrogant princely womaniser had gotten cold feet. Seducing and charming a woman wasn't a problem. Seducing and charming the woman he loved seemed to be impossible.

Loki ran his hands over his face with a groan. He was an idiotic imbecile.

Tags: @fictive-sl0th @gruftiela @theaudacitytowrite @anukulee @alexakeyloveloki @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @chennqingg @muddyorbsblr @glitchquake @mandywholock1980 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @mochie85 @dryyoursaltyoceantears @chantsdemarins @loz-3 @eleniblue @goblingirlsarah @crimson25 @icytrickster17 @lokidbadguy @hunny-beann @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kimanne723 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokidokieokie @lovingchoices14 @valencia-rou @kikster606 @frzntrx @lokisgoodgirl @huntedmusicgardenn @linaax @sheris532 @km-ffluv @jiyascepter @salvinaa @lcolumbia1988 @blackholeofcreativity @lou12346789 @soulpiercing @loonalockley @liliac-dreamer @brokenpoetliz (Continuing in the comments)

[tomialtooth]

I like to imagine Adler's a little bitch about cold temperatures due to the fact that he's from San Diego. So on the missions in the USSR he's just freezing his ass off miserably but he can't say anything about it without looking lame. Meanwhile Bell's Russian ass is having a great time. Adler & Bell's relationship to cold is like those videos of dog owners trying to get their husky or malamute who is having the time of their doggy life to come inside out of the snow.

[naturesapphic]

mommy nat x little reader where she has an anxiety attack and nat holds her and sings her a lullaby to calm her down🤍

Lullaby

Mommy!natasha romanoff x little!fem!reader

Warnings: age regression, hurt/comfort, mentions of needles and a doctor

You were playing with your toys when you heard your mommy’s voice from across the room. She was busy doing paperwork and you haven’t gotten to see her much today so when you heard her voice, you immediately got up and walked toward it. You see that she’s talking on the phone so you waited until she was done.

“Yes, yes she will see you tomorrow Doctor Cho. Thank you goodbye.” Nat said as she hung up the phone and you felt your heart drop at the name your mommy just mentioned. Dr. Cho. Meaning that you will be going to the doctors and you absolutely hated going to any sort of doctors appointment. Natasha looked up to see you looking up at her with a terrified expression which caused her to sigh.

“Baby-“ Natasha started to say but you cut her off by running away crying. You ran to your room and hid under your bed as you sobbed your eyes out, while holding onto your stuffie. Natasha came into your room and heard your cries which caused her heart to break at the sound of it. She went to the edge of your bed and went on her hands and knees, looking under the bed to find you curled into a ball crying.

“Babygirl, come on out. Come to mommy Angel.” Natasha said softly and you whimpered and shook your head no, scared that she will take you to the doctors right then and there. Natasha sighed and carefully went under the bed and gently pulled you out which caused you to cry more. “Baby we aren’t going to the doctors today, we are going tomorrow.” She reassured you and you sniffled, burying your face in her neck. “All dr. Cho is going to do is give you your yearly check up, that’s all love bug I promise.” Your mommy said softly while giving you a forehead kiss.

“S-shots?” You said looking up at her with a scared look plastered on your face. “Maybe baby but hey, mommy will be right there with you yeah? You are the bravest little baby I know. Remember? You are just like mommy, my little baby widow.” Your mommy says with a big smile and you gave her a little smile but then you start to freak out again because the thought of needles make you scared to death. Natasha shushed you quietly and started to gently rock you in her arms. “Take a deep breath baby, then out, then in. Repeat it with me princess.” She said calmly as she guided you through it.

After a few minutes of some breathing exercises you were still pretty upset so she decided to sing a Russian lullaby that her mother used to sing to her when she was little and now Natasha sings to you. You laid on her chest as she starts to hum your favorite song and you felt her chest moving as she sung quietly. Closing your eyes, you slowly drift off to sleep in your mommy’s arms, the one place you always felt safe at. Natasha gently stood up with you in her arms and went to tuck you into bed, lifting the other side of the covers up so she can lay next to you. She wrapped her arms around your body and pulled you close to her and started singing the lullaby once more, lulling you into a deep sleep, knowing you are protected by your mommy.

A/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! I’m trying to come back guys I swear, it’s just been hard since I’ve been busy and resting as much as I can, having some problems with my back so it’s been hard to do really anything but I’m gonna post some more fics today don’t worry :) I hope yall enjoyed it and that the anon did as well. Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves, I love yall :)

[salt-blog]

Did I really make my point that badly or did you stop paying attention because the post was too long? Like can you point out where I said that someone who enjoys Russian novels is automatically an excellent critical thinker? Obviously someone can love a book to pieces and not know what the hell it actually means.

I meant that being well-equipped to think critically about fiction makes you better equipped to critically think about any kind of story. And politicians, companies, governments, and everyone else on this planet are telling stories, so a big part of understanding the world means understanding stories. Picking out subtext in a novel and subtext in a news story are not vastly different exercises, for example.

I was appalled by your assertion that the ability to understand fiction is unimportant because I know it's not a fundamentally different skill from critical thought about any other type of story. That's it. I want you to feel challenged and I want you to really think about & consider this idea.

AND you spelled Dostoevsky wrong. Like come on, there's autocorrect for a reason. And you can just google how to spell it.

only reading ya or only watching kids shows is tremendously destructive to your ability to create or understand fiction (as any extremely narrow fiction intake is) but also ultimately that is not a super important skill in life or indicative of any deficiency of character

[minju4won]

anything for my girl

pairing: hyung line enhypen x fem reader

sypnosys: when they have a fight over you after you've been harassed

warning: blood, fight, harassment

author note: i hope u likeeeeeed, if there is a problem in writing sorry english is not my first language. espero q les gustee

LEE HEESEUNG

it was the New Year's party, after eating the grapes on the bells with their families, you guys gathered for the first party of the year. you were very excited, since it was the first party of the year, however, your boyfriend did not. your boyfriend wanted to stay at home writing and producing songs.

after several pleas on your part, he had accepted.

you guys were at the bar ordering a couple of drinks for you and your friends.

"babe, i´m going with my friends, you will be okay?" he murmured in your ear.

you nodded. "of course, hee. have fun!" you said giving a kiss in his lips, you felt his hands surrounding your waist.

he separated and touched his head with yours while touching your cheek.

"please, be careful" he said separated from you. you saw how he walked away from you and approached your friends. you grabbed the glass from the bar and walked over to your friend.

after a few minutes--or hours-- and a little--or very-- drunk, you were in the middle of the dance floor dancing with your friend. you didn't even know what song was playing. you think it is a spanish song, or russian, whatever.

you felt a hand in your waist and you turned around excited thinking you were going to see a boyfriend, but it was not him. instead you saw an unknown face.

you frowned as you walked away from him.

"oh, did i scare you?" he said approaching you. "you know something? you are the most beautiful girl in this party"

you grimaced when you heard it.

"boy, she´s not into you" your friend said.

"i can change her mind. c´mon baby, let´s go to the bathroom" he said holding your hand.

"please, can you leave me alone?" you said trying to separate yourself from him.

"are u okey, sweetie?" you heard your bf voice in your ear. you look at him and he saw your uncomfortable face. "you have a problem with my girl?" heeseung said when he saw how he had your hand grabbed.

"is that your girl? man you are lucky"

you felt heeseung's hands squeeze your waist. you know he was angry.

"tell me, bro. how you could you find a woman with that big ass"

suddenly you were screaming. heeseung had thrown himself at him. you just heard the punches that your boyfriend was giving. your friend pulled you away from the fight, and in a few seconds, there was a crowd surrounding them.

you heard the screams and the tears ran down your cheeks. after a couple of smacks, heeseung stood up to walk over to you and caress your cheeks, making sure you were okay.

"the next time i will kill u" he said intertwining your fingers to take you out of the premises.

PARK JONGSEONG

you are excited, more than excited. it was your first time in a water park.

when your boyfriend found out that you had never been in a water park, he immediately bought some tickets online. and there you guys were, in the pool after riding a slide. the only noise that could be heard was your laughter, and for jongseong, your laughter was live.

you went around his neck and gave him a little kiss.

"omg, this is so fun! we have to come more often" you said with a laugh

"anything for my girlfriend"

"i'll go buy something at the store, do you want something to eat?" you said separating from him.

"the same as you" you smiled when you heard him and you left the pool to approach the bar.

there was a huge line, you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

you crossed your arms as you waited your turn, but you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when you noticed some glances behind you. you turned around and noticed a group of men looking at you morbidly. you looked ahead to see if there was a lot of tail left, but the tail hadn't even moved.

you closed your eyes in disgust when you heard what they were saying about you.

"hey darling, are u alone?" you heard to your left, you opened your eyes and could see a man belonging to the group.

you looked down, determined to ignore him. but what you didn't expect was the way he grabbed your arm.

"c´mon, sweet, you think i don't know you wore that bikini for us? i know what whores like you look like."

you opened your eyes in surprise. "excuse me?"

"come with us" he said approaching you, but you quickly pulled away and left the line.

you tried not to cry so that your boyfriend wouldn't notice the incident, but he knows you well enough.

"babe, where is the food?"

"i don´t have hungry. if you have you can go"

"hey y/n, what happened? you okey?" he asked when he saw your sad expression

you sat in the hammock and covered your face with your hands.

"nothing important"

"hey babe, look at me" he said kneeling before you as he grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "tell me what happened"

you felt the tears running down your cheeks.

"a group of men started to sexualize me, babe. then one of them called me a whore and wanted to force me to go with them." you said through tears “i feel so humiliated”.

you felt his hands on your cheeks. “don't be ashamed, it wasn't your fault. you are the kindest woman i've ever seen"

you looked up when you felt that look. “it was them.”

your boyfriend quickly looked at them angrily. “wait for me here, i won't be long, ok?”

you saw your boyfriend get up and disappear from your sight. at first, you didn't think anything of it, but as the minutes passed, you began to worry too much. because of this, you got up and inspected the place. you knew your boyfriend was there because of the moans of pain.

you ran and could see the group of men on the ground. you frowned and looked up.

your boyfriend was full of blood and had the one who spoke to you by the neck.

"i swear to God, if you ever say another word to my girl again, i will cut out your tongue."

SIM JAEHYUN

to be honest, you don't like fights, but when you saw how that girl pushed you for no reason, you ended up in one.

after being in the library all day, you and your boyfriend decided to go to the cafeteria. after getting your drinks, you left the cafeteria with your boyfriend. you were talking until you got a shove.

"omg, i´m sorry" you said bending down to pick up her things.

"if you could watch where you're going, you wouldn't bump into people." she said with angry.

you frowned as you listened to it. "well, you pushed me" you said getting up, throwing the girl's things on the floor.

you could see his mouth open in surprise when she saw what you did.

"are u stupid? pick it up! it was your fault!"

you felt your boyfriend's hand on your waist, giving you a little warning.

"it was no one's fault, they just crashed into each other" said jaehyun trying to smooth the situation.

"i will not leave until this disrespectful woman apologizes."

you raised your eyebrows in surprise. "disrespectful? want to see how disrespectful i am?"

"please, baby, let's get out of here" your bf said in your ear. you were going to be what your boyfriend said, until you heard a masculine voice

"what's going on here?" said a man next to the girl.

did you see how the girl pouted. "this girl pushed me and threw my stuff, now she was insulting me. i just told her to apologize to me"

you let out a wry laugh. for her that was insulting?

"this whore is it bothering you?"

"what´s wrong with you, man?" asked your boyfriend, nudging him.

"i just can't stand uneducated bitches like her."

it all happened so fast for you, your boyfriend was hitting the guy while his girlfriend was screaming and yelling. suddenly, there was a circle shouting among them, you could hear how they were betting on jaehyun and others on the other boy.

fortunately, the fight didn't last long, as the cafeteria security came out to intervene.

you quickly bent down to check your boyfriend's condition, he had bruises and blood on his lips, but fortunately the other one was worse.

you caressed his cheek while you looked with disgust at his wounds.

"you fought for me" you said with surprise. your boyfriend was the type who didn't like street fights, and who stayed out of arguments.

"anything for you"

PARK SUNGHOON

after variations of your boyfriend's requests, you were at the shopping mall. according to him, you needed new clothes, even though you had bought clothes last week.

"this one looks good" he said putting a pink dress in your sight.

you looked at the price and denied. "this is so expensive, sunghoon"

"money is not a problem. you can try it on and if you don't like it, leave it."

you smiled at him and took the dress away from your boyfriend and approached the staff.

"excuse me, do you have a size M?" you said as you looked at the dress, it was beautiful.

"see what we have here, the fuckin miss y/n" you looked up at the familiar voice.

swallowed saliva at the sight of your ex-boyfriend.

"do you have a size M?" you repeated trying to ignore his smile.

"i wonder what you're doing shopping at the PRADA store? maybe today you charged more for your fancy functions?"

"can you do your job well?" you rolled your eyes when you heard his laugh.

you couldn't understand how in high school you could date him. he wasn't nice to you, he wasn't the prettiest guy in your class either, plus he cheated on you. what did you see in him?

"i cannot understand what I saw in you" he murmured with disgust.

"it´s all right here, love?" felt sunghoon's hand on your hip.

you heard your ex-boyfriend's laughter. "so you have a new boyfriend?"

you looked at sunghoon and he could tell at a glance who he was. you had told him repeatedly that he was the one who gave you the most insecurities in your adolescence and that he still haunts you to this day.

"do you have a problem with my girl?"

"you are the one who will have a problem with her, you know that in high school she was the sluttiest in her class? i wouldn't be surprised if it stayed the same" he laugh "but at least in bed she's amazing. i still remeber her-"

he couldn't finish because suddenly your boyfriend had him by the neck next to the wall.

"who do you think you are to talk about my girlfriend like that?" he said, squeezing him tighter. you heard your ex's moans of pain, but you didn't feel sorry for him. "you are nobody."

"you listen to me? you are nobody, just a piece a shit." he said, punching the wall several times.

he finally pulled away and straightened his shirt, grabbed you by the waist and pulled you close to him.

"bring her size M"

[e-rated-beardo]

PLEASE EVERYONE GO SCREAM AT @wiblywoblytimeywimey754 ABOUT THIS GORGEOUS PHYSICAL HAND-WRITTEN LETTER SHE'S MADE BASED ON CHAPTER 24 OF SCORN AND THE SAINT-MAKER

Really though. Just look at this?? I wrote this wild, incomprehensible thing of a fic chapter, consisting entirely of a weird-ass, angsty, gothic-vibey, 19th-century letter from some Russian mystery figure to a friend(?), full of crossings-out and rambling and half-made sentences, and HERE COMES WIBLY just pulling out her fancy pen and her fancy paper and fancy handwriting and I don't even know what to do with this. Her photos of the letter have been sitting in my inbox for almost a week because I'VE BEEN TOO FLOORED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS.

Like how can I touch these photos with my jpg compressor or my crop tool or my brain picking and choosing between the pretty pictures even; it's bloody rude is what it is.

Anyway feel free to go read (chapter 24 of) Scorn and the Saint-Maker, it's a Good Omens fic about a murder mystery, a pair of humans who maybe kinda aren't, a smutty love affair, a trans angel, maths (somehow), and (incidentally) the city of Aberdeen. And did I mention it gets Weird™️ sometimes. I also put art in there - usually my own, but sometimes also *gestures wordlessly to above*

[tiredfox64]

Waiter waiter!!

More giant Bi-han pls !!

(Headcanons,,, or smrhn,,, other characters are cool too !!)

Big...That's It

Yip notes: kitchen burning all around me with my lighter in my hand and the food on fire ...Okay...headcanons are good...custom job...g/t stuff again okay okay

Pairings: Bi-Han x Gn reader, Raiden x Gn reader

Warnings: My headcanons gasp opinions oh gosh

Bi-Han

I said it once and I'll say it again. It's giving Marc Antony and Pussyfoot. Just this big, aggressive guy who has to deal with this little menace that causes so much trouble but he loves them.

That man HATES to have you out of his sight. You need to be in front of him or in his peripheral vision.

If you can't stay in front of Bi-Han you're getting the towel or the leash. He will slam you down into a hand towel and wrap you up like a newborn Russian baby. That small leash that's made for bearded dragons that he bought one day? That's going on you too.

All silliness aside, Bi-Han actually likes you this way. A tiny thing that fits in the palm of his hand.

He likes that you're pathetic and you're forced to depend on him for certain things like getting you food or fighting off ants that try to fight you.

He purposely gives you big slices of food because you look cute shoving food in your cheeks. You look so silly eating baby corn, don't worry it's in a good way. He does scold you if you fill your mouth up too much and taps your back lightly to make you spit it out. Okay...maybe not so light.

You are his stress toy. You will be in a death grip while Bi-Han's thumb rubs against your head. You're an analog stick.

He doesn't trust you to sit on his head. You're gonna pull his hair and he knows it. You can stay on his shoulder.

Bi-Han likes to keep you in his room. You have your own little setup (probably in a huge cage with cloths over it) like your own room. He won't provide you furniture so you'll have to ask someone else cough cough Tomas cough choke to get you doll furniture.

He'd probably keep your room on a bedside table. Anything near his bed will do. He does that so he can have his hand near you. Don't worry he doesn't twitch or attack in his sleep so you won't wake up accidentally because he slapped the table.

This stays between you and me BUT he keeps his hand near you to make sure you're safe. If you're in trouble or struggle to fall asleep, you can tap on his hand and he'll be there to help. He'll bitch about it, sorry. But Bi-Han sure can provide you the best back massage with his two fingers so you can sleep peacefully.

Heaven help the poor son of a bitch who accidentally (or purposely) kicks you. You'll be down, a bit sore maybe, and then Bi-Han will come around and--oh look at that it's snowing blood.

Raiden

Ah yes, such a gentleman who unfortunately shocks you a lot.

Raiden needs to be careful with you after he uses his amulet. If you were at a normal human size you wouldn't be shocked by him once he was done with the amulet. But because you're a little bitty you get quite the shock when he touches you.

Oooo, is someone cooking pollo asado? Oh wait, that's just you.

He is totally fine with keeping you on his head and under his hat. It's safe and comfortable. You stay cool while the light seeps in. You could pass out up there while using his head of hair as your bed.

I genuinely believe this man would have doll hairbrushes for you. It's either Barbie hairbrushes or Ever After High hairbrushes. They were definitely borrowed from Johnny.

I feel like Raiden can cook simple meals and he will cook you miniature versions of those meals. Have a mini omelet.

Gently hold the reader in your hands, Raiden, gently hold them. This man has his hands cupped to hold you.

He's not possessive, he is just scared to have others hold you. Especially Kung Lao and Johnny because of how rough they can be.

You know those bunny owners who have a room dedicated to their bunny? Yeah, that's him but with you. You got a whole penthouse on one side of his room. Boujee ass dollhouse accessories and some great rat hammocks.

He likes to have you near when he meditates. He believes it can suppress your devious rat tendencies. If not, then at least Raiden can keep an ear open for you.

No touching the amulet! He reminds you every week. It's either curiosity or pure stupidity that drives you to go near it with your tiny hands.

Some nights...most nights, he lets you sleep on a pillow next to him. He knows not to roll onto you even in his sleep. Raiden likes to have his little lover close to him. You'll get a big goodnight kiss. Dawh :3

Yap notes: Yes, yes, I know I should be celebrating with family but this Christmas Eve hasn't been spectacular. So I spent some of my alone time doing this. Plus, that g/t curse was getting me again. A week of throat problems, a week of nose problems, a week of car and water problems, random bursts of anxiety and blood pressure spiking. Damn Fishii I said I would get to it! I might have a late Christmas gift for you (but with your luck my family might call me names again and I'll end up working on the whole thing tomorrow). To anyone else who might want to ignore family for a bit by reading, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Now if this damn post just works that would be great.

[jamingbenn]

sidgeno werebear au

on some level i have just never moved on from this tweet. or from evgeni malkin bear [screams]. started off as a sidgeno werebear au where they mentor quinn hughes but actually now the sidgeno origin werebear au is its own beast.

anyways work in progress is this anything

When people think of shifters in the league, they mostly think of the wolves. Which makes sense, given how most of them are wolves, with one or two notable exceptions. Afterall, it is a cold climate sport full of Canadians and Russians. Canada has the world’s largest wolf population, and the bulk of Russian shifters are wolves as well, despite Ovechkin's huge grizzly stealing most of the spotlight. Even the Americans mostly come from the northernmost states, where wolves are predominant.

Zhenya heard Luongo turned into a moose, once. Wouldn’t that be a sight to see.

-

It’s pretty public knowledge that Tanger’s a wolf, because Canadians are both weirdly open and weirdly demure about this stuff. Respectable and nice about it, as apparently all Canadian’s are. Zhenya’s heard enough on ice screaming matches to know otherwise. You don’t have to be fluent in English to know when someone’s insulting your mother, after all.

Most countries largely leave shifting unregulated and undeclared out of respect for shifter’s rights, which is just as well, because shifters broadly have a longstanding fear of governance. Being the casualties of two World Wars would do that to you, but Canada stands as an anomaly. They’re the only country that’s so much more shifter than human, the shifters are comfortable and deeply untrenched in society in ways most other countries aren’t. Zhenya, for example, mostly sticks to designated nature reservations when he wants to run shifted back in Russia. Canadians have those too, but most shifters also feel comfortable enough to roam about freely in their animal form with only dog tags or other identification to distinguish them as off limits to wildlife hunters and prevent any panic in innocent hikers.

In most other parts of the world, a tag like that might as well be a beacon. You still run the chance, however small these days, of a Purist gunning you down specifically for your status.

Still. Canada’s broad attitudes on shifting have largely translated over in the NHL, given that Canadians historically made up a majority of the players. The league doesn’t mandate declaration, but people are generally pretty open about their status. Most Canadians in the league still wear their tags on their chains. Tanger doesn’t even shift that much, but he keeps his dog tags on still, even after decades of being in the states, at this point more out of superstition than necessity.

Zhenya seen it. It���s a simple tag, silver and standard issue, with Tanger’s full government name, his shift form, his shift gender, coloring, and his Canadian shift ID. People get fancier ones, but, Tanger had shrugged. He doesn’t like change. He’s kept the same one since he got registered at 16 in Juniors.

Sidney’s not a wolf — Nova Scotia doesn’t even have wild wolves, and hasn’t for the past like 200 years. “Shifters from my area tend to be aquatic mammals, and we all know that those don’t tend to end very well,” he had shrugged once, early on in their careers, when the topic came up.

Zhenya hadn’t particularly understood. “Mermaids, Zhenya,” Gonch had explained, rubbing one hand over his weary face. “Selkies. Seal shifters. They don’t do well away from water, their furs can be used to keep them hostage, and people fucking think they’re mermaids.”

“Mermaids aren’t real,” Zhenya had pointed out, in what he thought was a smart tone. “Humans can crossbreed with shifters but the kid either is a shifter or isn’t. There’s no half and half.”

“Thank you, Zhenya, I also attended high school biology,” Gonch replied dryly. “No, but selkies shift into seals and then go swimming and supposedly that’s where all the mermaid talk comes from. People trap girl selkies and all of that, preventing them from shifting from one form to another by burning or locking up their furs.”

Gonch looked uncomfortable at the thought of that, but continued on, grimacing. “So selkie numbers are very small. And they’re usually quite protected and private. I think there’s even an exception for them for the Canadian ID identification rules.”

Zhenya was aghast. “Sid. Sid,” he turned back to the original conversation, which has since moved on to Tanger ranting on about cars while everyone else tried really hard to look interested.

“Yeah, G?” Sid answered across the table, smiling where he was nursing his beer.

“If you silkie, I protect,” Zhenya had replied very earnestly, hoping his message was conveyed in his truly horrendous English.

Sidney laughed, a loud honking thing. “Yeah? I bet, buddy.”

“No, no,” Zhenya frowned. They weren’t getting it. “I, bear. I can protect.”

“Woah, Geno, you shift too?” Tanger whipped his back around.

Sidney was staring at Geno now, zoned in, beer forgotten. “Into a bear?”

Zhenya nodded, then shrugged, feeling a little exposed.

“Hey, knock it off, kid’s private about it,” Gonch chimed in. “Don’t give him shit. He’s not like Ovi.”

Zhenya rolled his eyes. Fucking Ovi. The league has just one other bear shifter, but he happens to be the loudest and showiest Russian alive, and now the whole world thinks Russian shifters are mostly bears.

In fact, bears are exceedingly rare. Evolved out of necessity to survive the winter like wolves had, but the lifestyle of a bear is just less compatible with that of a human. Werebears never hit a critical mass like wolves did, and their numbers stayed small. They mostly occur far up north in Eastern Europe, but even as someone from Russia, Ovechkin’s the only other bear shifter Geno’s ever met.

“Russia much more wolves than bear,” Geno complained. “Bear, like, so rare. But yes. I'm big bear, ok, black one, not like Sanya. But I don’t like, in, you know, media.”

Tanger reached out to bump his fist. “Hey, I get it, it can be private. We’re shifter bros now. Doesn’t leave this table.”

“Would you shift sometime?” Flower asked, his eyes gleaming. “So we can see?”

Geno rolled his eyes. He’s a black bear, smaller and more slender than Ovi’s huge Grizzly form, and easier to contain. He doesn’t know how to explain how he shifts all the time for Natalia and Victoria’s delight, so he doesn’t. “If you lucky, bring me berries, I change for you.”

“Raw fish,” Sidney had said, eyelids hooded, considering. “Black bears also like raw fish.”

[paninicupcakke]

Winter Wrap Up ☃️🪵🔥

(Fluff HeavyMedic oneshot + Engie & offense team mentioned)

-(They are all still mercs in this fic btw! I just wanted to make a Heavy loadout with his new beard for fun :3)

Location: Red base

Medic was stood in front of a window looking out towards the back patio of their base. Silently admiring the snowy wooded area not too far from them. Four of his bundled up teammate’s were currently outside enjoying the cold weather. Soldier, Pyro and Scout were all participating in an intense snowball fight. Meanwhile, Heavy was a few feet away from them. Axe in hand while in the middle of chopping up some firewood. The doctor’s eyes lingered on the Russian’s hands. Even through his fitted gloves, some of his veins were visible. Medic eerily watched as he slowly brought the axe up over his head. Witnessing him quickly swing down the axe, splitting a wooden log in half as if it were a slice of butter. The doctor bashfully flinched. Anxiously adjusting his glasses as he let out a small sigh. Feeling oddly envious of the now shredded up wooden log. Continuing to lovingly stare at his partner through the window.

“Hey Doc, would you mind taking these outside?” Engineer suddenly asked. Medic flinched, quickly turning around to face the man behind him. There stood Engineer, holding a metal tray full of several steamy mugs of hot cocoa.

“Ja.” Medic quickly replied. Carefully taking the tray from his hands.

“I figured you wouldn’t mind.” Engineer said with a sly grin. He walked over towards the back door and held it open for Medic. The doctor quickly stepped outside onto the patio. The offense team had all quickly noticed and decided to pause their snowball fight. All three of them eagerly ran over onto the patio and towards the doctor. Scout was the first one to grab up one of the warm mugs.

“Hell yeah, thanks doc.” Scout piped up before taking a small sip of cocoa. Pyro muffled a “thank you” as well before taking his very own cat shaped mug.

“Whatchu got there?” Soldier asked while tilting his head. The last one to make his way over to Medic.

“Here, Engineer made some hot chocolate.” Medic replied with an eager grin. Soldier quickly grabbed a warm mug from the tray and began chugging it down. Medic quickly averted his attention over towards Heavy who was several feet away from them. He set down the metal tray onto a wooden table nearby. Quickly making his way over to him with a mug of warm cocoa in hand. Heavy was in the middle of picking up a split chunk of wood and setting it off into a large pile beside him. Medic casually sat down onto the tree stump the Russian had been using as a cutting board. Eagerly sat underneath dozens of leftover axe marks. Heavy had his back towards Medic, once turning around he perked up at the sight of him. It’s as if the doctor appeared out of thin air. Medic then extended his arm to hand over the mug to Heavy.

“Here. Drink it while it’s warm.” Medic offered with a wide grin. Heavy gently took the mug from him.

“Thank you, doctor.” Heavy replied with a wide grin.

“You’re welcome. Well, I didn’t make it. Engineer did.” Medic bashfully replied. Silently fixating on how small the mug looked in Heavy’s grasp. The doctor’s heart could hardly keep up. He lovingly gazed up and down at Heavy. Admiring his cozy attire paired with his lovely form. Heavy took a couple of small sips of cocoa.

“Is very good. I prefer little marshmallows over the big ones.” Heavy piped up.

“Ja, aren’t they cute?” Medic shyly replied. Heavy nodded as he continued to drink, silently looking down at the unusual spot Medic chose to sit on. The doctor casually leaned back onto the large tree stump. Holding his weight with both of his hands while crossing one leg over the other. Heavy couldn’t help but silently gaze at the doctor’s relaxed demeanor. It was always a delight to have some much needed time off for the holidays.

“That should be enough logs for now. You should come inside for a small break.” Medic eagerly suggested, glancing down at the pile of firewood. Heavy’s cheeks flushed at the doctor’s angelic tone.

“Is getting tiresome.” Heavy shyly admitted. Medic quickly stood back up, taking a step closer and caressing the Russian’ forearm up to his bicep. Heavy instinctually propped up his elbow. Allowing Medic’s hands to cling onto his inner elbow and nuzzle up close to keep warm. A wide, bashful smile crept across Heavy’s cheeks. The Russian had a cup of hot cocoa in one hand and his lover on his arm. This day couldn’t have gotten any better. This snowy weather was just another excuse to be huddled side by side. Both men eagerly walked alongside each other as they made their way back inside of the base. All three offense teammates were stood on the patio, finishing up their hot coca. Scout’s eyes lingered on the couple as they made their way back indoors. Enviously wishing he had a loved one to cling onto his arm or vice versa. The lonesome runner couldn’t help but glance at the couple through the window. Watching Heavy and Medic sit down on the sofa and canoodle by the fireplace. Scout suddenly let out an saddened groan.

“What’s wrong?” Soldier asked while tilting his head. Noticing the runner’s sudden change in demeanor.

“Nothin’ really. I just hate being single during the holidays. It sucks! I wanna wear matching hats and cuddle by the fire with someone. Is that too much to ask?” Scout bluntly complained.

“Well…uhh…we could all wear matching hats and cuddle by the fire together?” Soldier suggested. Pyro perked up at his idea and nodded eagerly. Scout let out a sigh.

“I guess.” Scout begrudgingly obliged, followed by a small shrug.

“I’ll go steal us some hats!” Soldier declared before stomping off back inside of the base. Headed down the hall over to Demoman’s room.

“And I’ll start the fire!” Pyro eagerly piped up. Setting down his hot cocoa and pulling out a metal lighter from his pocket. Scout’s eyes widened in fear.

“Wait, wait no! We already have a fire inside!” Scout yelled while frantically trying to grab the lighter from Pyro. Meanwhile indoors, both Heavy and Medic were both soaking up the base’s warm fireplace. The doctor had swung both his legs over the Russian’s lap, nuzzling him close while caressing his jawline. Heavy had an arm wrapped around him and was currently trailing small kisses along the doctor’s cheek. The Russian suddenly paused, his eyes wideNed as he caught a glimpse of the chaos forming outside through the window.

“I hate to stop but…Pyro is setting patio table on fire.” Heavy quietly mentioned.

“Huh?!” Medic flinched and immediately turned his head to look out the window. The wooden table outside on the patio was now up in flames. Both men watched Scout frantically drag over a fire extinguisher.

“Uh oh. Uhh…should we go help them?” Medic hesitantly asked.

“Yes…but I don’t really want to right now.” Heavy bashfully admitted.

“Ja me neither. Let’s go hide in our room and pretend we didn’t see anything.” Medic quietly suggested with a sly grin.

“Sounds like good plan.” Heavy happily agreed. Both men quickly stood up from the sofa and hurried off down the hallway off to their bedroom. Meanwhile, Engineer was still preoccupied over in the kitchen. He was in the middle of cooking up a big pot of chili for supper. The Texan had his back turned and hadn’t noticed the sneaky couple flee the scene.

“Y’all smell that?…guys?- AH?! WHAT IN SAM HELL?!” Engineer shrieked, nearly dropping the wooden spoon in his hand. Noticing the large flames currently outside of the window. He quickly set the spoon back into his pot of chili and ran outside to help.

[tranceinnumerabletabs]

When Johnny Comes Back pt8

Howdy y'all! It seems I'm back. I'm writing this at like 5 AM. Idk why it seems like y'all didn't like the last part? Was it too long? Were the colors overwhelming? Hopefully not cuz it's so much more in here. Anyway here's the next part. Tell me if it's too long. Also I got college tests comin up so.....expect some delays for the next few days

tags: @supermegabitchboyexceptimagirl, and @beelzebee

part1, part2, part3, part4, part5, part6, part7

------

You’re standing on a cliff side, the sunset beautiful and fleeting. Ash swirls around you. You look to where it’s from and it’s your cat Simon tipping over the urn. The ashes surround you as a mysterious laughter surrounds you, along with mocking words you don’t understand but just know they’re meant to be despairing. And that he has a Russian accent for some reason. The ash swirls faster and the next time you look at Simon he’s a charred mess of what he used to be.

“Simon?” You ask, distraught and horrified at your sweet kitty’s death. Simon’s eyes were dead and bluer than you remember. The ash surround you more and more and you sense Johnny’s presence. You don’t know why or where.

“Johnny?” You call out and the Russian’s voice grows louder and more mocking as more, sadder voices joined in. It didn’t feel like there was an outside source to the voices. It felt like it was in your mind.

"He was the best of us"

"The toughest"

"Would have fought the world barehanded"

Your location changed and you’re looking over Johnny’s dead body, the shot on his head bleeding nightmarishly. His lifeless eyes pointing at you without looking at you. You hear an authoritative voice announce: “All stations- this is Bravo in the blind. Threat neutralized. Bomb is safe... One KIA.”

You see a strange shadowy figure loom over Sergeant Soap. His shadows reminded you of the fur on Simon.

It was hard to make out but you saw a skull with hollow eyes and knew you just knew that this was death and he was going to take Johnny away from you. You look at the horrific state of Johnny. Your mouth doesn’t move but you’re calling out to him as the reaper takes him away.

“Johnny! No! Please!”

You couldn’t move, you were running but it’s like you weren’t moving. You call out to them more but it’s like you weren’t actually screaming. You catch up to them and tackle death, but he and Johnny disintegrates into shadows and ash that surround you again. The voices come back: the Russian, the voices, Johnny himself. You couldn’t understand anything you’re hearing other than occasional words:

“KIA” “Bonnie!” “Be careful who you trust sergeant. Peo-“ “bravo six goin da-“ “-ple you know can hurt you the most” “translate that from bullshit to eng-“ “hen! I’m here” "-the toughest" “or I’ll FUCKiNG hang you from it” “would have fought the world bare handed” “LOVE! WAKE UP!”*

——————————————————

You GASP loudly as you’re shaken from your torture.

“Lassie?” He shakes you again

You look at Soap “Johnny?!”

“Aye I’m here what hap-“ you hug him tightly, just like the one you gave him yesterday: strong, tight, wet, bordering on suffocating if he wasn’t so durable, all done while you’re shaking. He grips you back, rubbing your back and ruffing your hair. “Birdie…what happened?”

You squeeze harder and he catches the hint that you just need to be grounded right now. He leans into your ear and whispers reassurances

“Jus’ a bad dream Bonny lass, yer here with me now. Yer big strong man, back from war safe and sound. You’re okay Bonny nothing is gonna hurt ya.”

“I’m not worried about myself Johnny..” you mumble. His words hit him like a brick all over again and his heart swells. he’d tease you for falling for him but…not now.

“Aye….I’m…sorry tae worry ye”

“I saw you dead…”

“…..” he goes quiet

“I saw you dead…and…and death took you…a-and…I-I tried to stop it b-but he disappeared a-and Simon also died and was burned-”

“Hey, hey��hen…jus’ a nightmare okay?”

“I’ve had this exact nightmare before. I don’t know why it keeps happening. It feels so real.” You finally pull back, looking at him. This time, when looking at the bandage on his head, you feel relieved. He’s hurt, but he’s here. Here and breathing. You place your chin on his neck and look up at him with soft puppy eyes

“I’m worried for you”

“I Ken.”

“You could’ve died”

“Aye”

“Your head was shot”

“Dinnae need ta remind me.”

You sigh and close your eyes as he ruffled your hair.

“I’m here Bonny. I cannae promise you to be back next time. I’m not that naive, seen too many a men sharing a laugh wit me one night and share a body bag the next. Hell, even civis die without warnin’ all da damn time. I cannae promise ye next month or next week, and neither can you, but I’m promising ye right now. And right now I’m layin’ in my kip with the fairest princess in the land.”

You crack a smile

“Aye, she’s even fairer now”

You giggle and hide your face into his chest.

“I’m glad you’re here Johnny”

“Haven’t heard you say that before. Say it again?”

You don’t shake your head or roll your eyes, instead you jump up to wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close to your chest

“I’m so happy that you’re here Johnny!” He growls and grips your body harshly

“I could get used tae this bein my good mornin’” he rasps

“Hmm..me t-…..” you stop, remembering something

.

.

“birdie?”

You pull back and have an annoyed look on you

“Johnny.” You say firmly

“A..aye?”

You grip his face roughly, as if trying to punish him “were you awake while I was trying to get out of your hold last night?”

“Dinnae Ken wha’ yer talking aboot’”

“Johnny.” You say ever firmer, looking at him with a piercing gaze

“Yes gorgeous?”

“Were you. Awake. While I was trying to go sleep in my bed?”

“…..”

“Johnny?” You growl, your touch now pressing into his head injury (not too hard through) to get your point across. “Tell me the truth”

“I love you mo chridhe”

“JOHNNY! YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!”

You rip the pillow out from under him and raise it above your head like a bloodthirsty barbarian, ready to strike

“Princess! Mercy please I beg o’ ya!”

“There’s no doll here now sergeant suds! Now it’s your superior! And you’re taking discipline”

He laughs at your mimicry, blocking your pillowy bludgeons to the body

“Since when-" smack "-were you-" smack "-my superior?”

You growl and increase your pace.

“I dinnae take orders from a civi!” He chuckles. He tackles you to lay down on the bed while you continue to pillow smack him.

“I’m the princess. I outrank you sergeant! Now unhand me!” You blow your tongue at him.

“Yes yer highness.” He rolls off you. You jump off the bed, face red at what you endured. He gets off and runs up to you too.

“C’mon leannan, aren’t ye glad that yer brave soldier was there to protect ye from the nightmare?”

Pause.

Well….that’s true. Who know how bad that nightmare could’ve gotten if he didn’t shake you awake and comfort you. He hugs your from behind, doing that terrible habit of leaning in close behind you to speak lowly over your shoulder while being half dressed

“I’m just doin’ by job princess. Duty calls”

“And does your Call of Duty include trapping and annoying the princess until she attacks you with pillows?”

“Tis’ Modern Warfare bonny. Things are like that these days.”

“And the bedtime story you made me tell?”

“Tis’ Modern Warfare too. I’d die for it” You sigh. He’s impossible. He leans into your ear more. “If it’s nae too late, Good mornin’ leannan”

“It’s the afternoon Johnny. It’s what happens when you sleep around sunrise”

“My sunrise happens when my sun rises”

“And when that?”

“When didja wake up?”

You blush “shut up.”

“Yes yer highness. Yer always so grumpy in the mornin’”

“You’re always annoying in the morning. Do they train you to be a nuisance the second you wake up?”

“Aye, ye never Ken when they might get piece o’ mind” You shake your head and try to move, his arms are imprisoning you fucking again*

“Johnny.”

“Nae”

“……I’ll make you breakfast”

“A big one?”

“Yes you beast. A big one. But you’ll have to get dressed more than your underwear.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so. You don’t see me walking around the place with jus’ my skivvies on do you?”

He shrugs “sounds like a you problem.”

“Do it and I’ll give you the flat’s entire inventory of bacon and a dozen eggs”

He lets go and dashes to the closet to get dressed. You smile and skip to make a feast fit for an army. A one man army that is. A tiny while later he there, shirtless but at least he’s got pants on.

“Thank you honey”

“You don’t have to say that. And I’m not your honey” you say the line you’ve said many times to the point where it’s an affectionate routine like your personalized greeting

“Then why are you so sweet to me hen?” He says on cue.

“Okay you Lorne lad. Go sit down as I make you breakfast”

“I want tae hel-“

“Sit down.”

He obeys and spends the entire time staring at you, just like Simon, who’s watching nearby. As per promise you added the rest of all the bacon you had into a skillet

“Aye, little more?” He teased

“This is like a kilo of bacon”

“Not enough”

“Sush this ain’t epic meal time.”

You decide to be a cunt to prove a point make enough food to feed the entire cast of Game of Thrones. Let’s see him ask for more now. what’s in an English/Scottish breakfast again?

Eggs. How many Eggs? Well no one eats eggs like Gaston, but Gaston hasn’t met Soap.

Sausages. How much sausages? Enough to make AO3 look clean enough to have a church service in.

“Ohh leannan that looks good!”

“I said shush let me finish”

Beans. Beans? You and the boys at 3AM Lookin for BEANS and this is enough gas to keep a tank in orbit.

“Bonnie I think that’s eno-“

“Shush”

Mushrooms. He wants mushrooms? Here’s Enough to recreate The Last of Us.

Does Johnny boy want toast? Here is Enough to eradicate the local duck population from existence, then enough tea to recreate the Boston tea party and serve the queen leftover. But knowing Johnny he’ll want coffee too.

How much coffee you give him? Enough to make a college student flinch

Aaannnd finally tomatoes. That’s Enough tomatoes to boo away every mediocre LA comedian into a better profession.

“Done” you grin and turn to look back at Soap, who was visibly salivating. You chuckle “are you hungry princess bubbles?”

“Aye” he says looking at the domestic scene before him. You, in pajamas and his shirt, making him a breakfast feast when he came back from deployment. It’s not just the food he’s salivating at.

“Eat up” you start serving it all and he digs in like a wild dog. Before meeting him, You’d be disgusted and put off by this barbaric behavior, but because it’s Johnny, not only do you let it slide, you also find it endearing.

Simon jumps on the table, you shoo him away from your plate, trying to make him eat from his kitty bowl. It’s on the table because he refused to eat otherwise. He wants to eat with your two and that’s final.

He, for some reason decided to eat from Soap’s plate, which was smart because Johnny “I’ll eat anythin’ you make me” Mactavish doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest.

You leisurely eat your food as Johnny seems to be challenging Matt Stony for his records. You sip on your beverage, that’s in a cup, while Johnny drinks from the pitcher. He finishes his breakfast, a surprise to even you seeing how much he ate, and lays back with a groan

“I’m stuffed lass. Dinnae think I can move.”

“You didn’t have to eat all of it”

“Nae, I’ll eat anythin’ and everythin’ ye make”

“Yeah well, don’t get used to it. Do you have any idea how expensive that brand of bacon was?” You say looking at your phone casually

“Ye’d have more money if ye married me for military spouse tax benefits Bonny” You laugh, what a bold offer and yet it doesn’t sound too bad.

“I’m sure”

“Think about it Bonnie, I’ll make ye a Mactavish, you already act like one, makin yer soldier a feast after comin’ back from the war” oh is that why he was affectionate today?

You snort “oh no Johnny. Once you retire, you’re taking my last name”

“And why’s tha’?”

“it’ll do you some good changing your last name. If anyone asks why you took mine, just say you married a feminist” you sip your drink.

"what's wrong with Mactavish?" he whines through his chuckle

“You’re a war criminal Johnny.” You casually mention, as if Soap ever wanted you to know that.

Jazz Music Stops

He didn’t.

[unnervinglyferal]

Got to know more of my girlfriend's family. One of her second cousins(?) has a baby around Stinkbug's age, so we ended up chatting with her about baby handling shit because nobody else around finds that interesting and none of us really know how to talk about anything else these days.

The subject moved to health care and baby check-ups, and the cousin made a casual vague remark that it's so fortunate that Stinkbug seems to have taken it so well, and went on to say how fortunate she is that her her own kids got lucky too. So we had to delicately inquire her what the fuck she's talking about. And she looked at us, apparently confused that we wouldn't know. The vaccines, of course.

I was already about to take Stinkbug and leave, but my girlfriend asked her to elaborate and turns out that the cousin is some sort of a... Vaccine centrist?? She had had this aura of "sweet but not very smart" from the start, but I had defintely underestimated what she's capable of. Turns out that she had "done her own research" on vaccines, read both pro and anti-vax accounts and had come to the conclusion that both are 100% true. That vaccines are an irreplaceable safeguard for health and public safety, maintaining herd immunity, and even eradicading some diseases completely, but she also genuinely believed that "vaccine injuries" are common and widespread.

Like she truly, genuinely thought that every time you get your kid vaccinated for something is a game of russian roulette where you risk getting your kid back all fucked up, but she'd come to the conclusion that this is simply the risk we all must take for the greater good. We could not convince her otherwise.

[be-compromised]

Secret Santa 2024 Masterlist

Thank you to everyone who took part in this year’s holiday fic exchange, from writers to beta readers to all you lovely people who leave comments. With an especial shout out to our heroic pinch hitters, @alphaflyer, @caiti-creative-corner, and @cassiesinsanity !

All gifts and authors have now been revealed, both on AO3 and on the masterlist (here and on dreamwidth). You’re now free to post, share, and link to your gifts wherever you like! If you could in some way link back to the exchange or the community, to direct people to all of the other wonderful fics as well, that would be appreciated.

If you feel inspired to fill any other prompts, or create stocking fillers or non-participant fills, please feel free. These just won’t be included as part of the Secret Santa exchange or on the masterlists.

From all your be_compromised mods, we hope you have a happy holiday season and wish you all the best for the new year. See you in 2025! ~ inkvoices, gsparkle & CloudAtlas 💜

Ain’t A Saint by @inkvoices for @huntress79 Mature; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton/James Barnes, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff/James Barnes Summary:“I lead a group of immortals. Soldiers, like you. Two of us have already been experimented on - tortured - and I need you to come with me and get in the goddamn car, because it might already be happening to someone else right fucking now." Natasha, Clint, and Bucky dream of a new immortal. Meanwhile, a Stark Industries research vessel has found the Valkyrie. An Old Guard AU.

A Christmas Invitation by @caiti-creative-corner for Hurt_loves_comfort Teen & Up; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff Summary: Natasha might be stubborn, but Clint could wait her out . . . and he had good reason to be patient.

A Kiss for Luck by @cassiesinsanity for @firlalaith Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: A number of random, shared kisses that lead to one special kiss on New Year's Eve.

A Russian Lullaby by @iriel3000 for @chaed Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, various friendships Summary: Based on the prompt by Chaed: “Clint isn't the only one haunted after New York. Natasha struggles with unexpected Hulk PTSD.” Ever wonder how "Natasha, we need a lullaby" originated? Clint thinks Natasha is hiding an injury but soon discovers it’s more.

At the Rose & Quill by @caiti-creative-corner for @cassiesinsanity Gen: Clint Barton/Laura Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton & Kate Bishop Summary: Serenity and knowledge go hand-in-hand at the Rose & Quill, and Laura loves the serenity it brings her odd little family.

Backstage @scaarletwiitch for @mondstadtlover6000 Gen; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: Clint is struggling in his role on the technical crew for this year's production of the Nutcracker. Natasha arrives as a guest artist with the ballet company, feeling like an outsider. 

Be More Obvious about It by @firlalaith for @heroofshield Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: Clothes say a lot about a person.

City Kid by Hurt_loves_comfort for @delektorskichick Gen; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop, Alexi Shostakov/Melina Vostokoff Summary: Natasha Romanov has been living in the city and doing ballet since she was four. What happens when an injury sends her to the countryside where she meets one Clint Barton?

Collecting Strays by Ultra for @inkvoices Teen & Up; ambiguous relationships - Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, James Barnes Summary: He hasn't known her long, but he's known her long enough. When Strike Team Delta are sent to take out the Winter Soldier, all Nat has to do is blink, and once again, Clint finds himself making a different call.

Earworm by @delektorskichick for @paperairplanesopenwindows Gen; Clint Barton/Laura Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton/Laura Barton Summary: In a world where whatever song your soulmate gets stuck in their head also gets stuck in yours, Laura Barton has the unfortunate luck of getting a soulmate who loves those stupid, annoying commercial jingles. What's even more annoying is when it will randomly shift to classical ballet music. Laura's soulmate is so dead when she finally meets them. Note: Soulmates in this can be romantic or platonic, so it can be read either way as far as Natasha goes.

Faces of Ghosts by @paperairplanesopenwindows for @icantopenwaterbottlecaps Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary:"Were you aware that Yelena's sister is my ex-girlfriend or was I just supposed to find that out when I complimented her costume myself?" "Huh?" America asked, clearly confused. Clint noticed that Yelena seemed unsurprised by this information. "Yelena..." Clint groaned. She clasped her hands together in faux innocence. "Wow! What do you mean? You know my sister, Natasha?" "What the fuck, Yelena?" "I had no idea," she said fervently, but was clearly holding back laughter. "I had no idea at all. Otherwise, I definitely would not have invited you both to this party with no warning."

favorite parts by @mondstadtlover6000 for @endlesstwanted Gen; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: Clint and Natasha get sent on a vacation—no, a mission. They think it's a mission, anyway.

Hearts & Roses by @huntress79 for ufohnoparty (why_didnt_i_get_any_soup) Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff/James Barnes, background Clint Barton/Melinda May, various friendships Summary: Fresh off yet another breakup, passionate florist Clint Barton relocates himself from semi-rural Iowa to BedStuy in New York, where his first boss and best friend Phil Coulson has found a flower shop in dire need of a capable owner. What he doesn’t expect is that his neighbors, tattoo artists Natasha Romanov and Bucky Barnes, not only will be responsible for his first tattoo, but also turn his whole life upside down – in the most positive way.

is it to soon to do this yet? by @quidnunc-life for @archers-and-spies Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: “When I told you two to get to know each other through a fun common interest,” says Coulson, “I meant watch an episode of Dog Cops or something. Not blow a city up together.” Or: Everyone knows Natasha hates Clint, but if they want to be a STRIKE team, something has to change.

i thought the plane was going down (how'd you turn it right around?) by @archers-and-spies for @cloud--atlas Gen; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: Being a weather witch is all fun and games, until you're seated next to the girl you walked out on ten years ago. Clint has the worst luck.

of dance cards and suitors by @icantopenwaterbottlecaps for Ultra Gen; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: “How about love?” he asks. Natasha tilts her head at Clint, an errant red curl falling from her elegant coiffure as she waits for him to elaborate. “Won’t you marry for love?” Or: a Clintasha Regency AU

Operation: Incoming by @alphaflyer for @scaarletwiitch Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Alexi Shostakov/Melina Vostokoff, Yelena Belova & Kate Bishop Summary: Natasha puts the phone down with a deep sigh and turns to Clint, with a look that’s a mix of apology and abject terror. “Incoming! Alexei and Melina are coming to New York and want to spend Christmas with us. They’re arriving tomorrow.”

Solecism by ufohnoparty (why_didnt_i_get_any_soup) for @iriel3000 Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Natasha Romanoff & Steve Rogers Summary: Natasha and Steve are on a mission together in Budapest. Things quickly go south and Steve doesn't know what to do when Natasha is gravely injured. She tells him to call her husband. What husband?

Something So Magic by @heroofshield for @caiti-creative-corner Gen; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff Summary: Sometimes the most unlikeliest of friendships are formed in a disappearing coffee shop.

The Mastermind vs. The Master Assassins by @cassiesinsanity for @alphaflyer Mature; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff Summary: Its driving Tony nuts trying to figure out the deal with Clint & Natasha, so he recruits some friends to help him find out.

Two To Tango (Or Kate Bishop’s Guide to Helping Your Mentor Realize He’s In Love with his Partner) by @alphaflyer for @quidnunc-life Teen & Up; Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff, Yelena Belova/Kate Bishop, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark Summary: “These two are such idiots. Why don’t they just admit that they are crazy about each other?” Kate and Yelena see a problem and set out to fix it.