#The Rabbit of Caerbannog

[howlingday]

Perhaps a different rabbit then?

Jaune: Pyrrha, get my holy hand grenade.

Pyrrha: Your... what?

Jaune: My holy hand grenade! The one which I must hold for three seconds before throwing! Now less than three! Not two! Certainly not at one!

Velvet: ...Am I the only one who thinks that bunny is cute?

Cardin: No, I think it's cute, too.

[chernobog13]

DO NOT make the Easter Bunny angry! You wouldn't like him when he's angry!

[dionysia-does-stories]

The Tale of The Rabbit of Caerbannog

Cringetober 2023, Day 17: "It was a dark and stormy night. . ."

On AO3

Rating T - 592 words - Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Summary: The rabbits of the forest of Caerbannog tell the tale of the night when one of their own became the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

Story:

“It was a dark and stormy night.” they whispered, many voices becoming one voice. Their breath was a wind that battered its way through the trunks of the old Caerbannog forest. 

“The dark was complete black. There were no stars. There was no light. Nothing existed in the woods. We ourselves stopped existing in that dark. 

“The storm was unexpected. A shattering of meteorological forces that was everywhere and nowhere. We dragged ourselves through thick air. The atmosphere was laden with water and electricity. Our fur clung to our trembling bodies. Our long sensitive ears were deafened by the greatness of the thunder.

“We were rabbits before that dark and stormy night. Now we are something else. A rabbit can fight, but doesn’t. A rabbit runs. A rabbit hides in the burrow. We were born with sharp teeth and sharp claws. But they weren’t meant to taste blood. They were to dig and chew and build the burrow. We were architects of safety before we were remade as machines of war.

“We have tasted blood.

“It was a dark and stormy knight who stumbled through the forest then. He was huge (as all humans are huge). Slow (as all humans are slow). His clanking metal skin would be warning enough any other night. But the thunder had been so loud and the storm so sudden.

“Many of us were out on the forest floor foraging for food. Among them was a new mother from our burrow, a lovely lady fair of feature. The storm frightened her (as it did all of us). She tried to calm her heart and find her way home. She was blinded by the darkness (we all were). She was deafened by the thunder (we all were). She was unable to smell anything but the drowning rain as it poured into her. 

“The knight came upon us. He was a lumbering useless fool. But he was hungry. He grabbed at any of us within his reach. His meaty arms flailed. His grotesquely bent fingers grabbed.

“We ran. We’re rabbits. We ran. We are the fastest creatures on the forest floor. Faster than wolves. Faster than human witches. Faster than human gods. But the storm. The knight kept pace with us in the storm.

“He followed us through the shrubbery. He followed us to the burrow. The lady fair was the last of us to make the dive. He saw her bright white fur, even in the darkness. We thought we escaped him into the safety of the burrow. Until, the knight began to dig.

“He dug up the burrow. He dug up the children. He laughed. His laughter was like the thunder. He grabbed the lady fair’s kit, crushing it in his terrible human hands.

“As her kit drew its final breath, something changed within the lady fair. She raised her nose to the heavens. Her ears alert and haunches raised to fight. She called to any god listening to give her the power to kill any knight who crossed her path.

“Her call was answered.

“A violent new strength took up residence in her body. The lady fair’s teeth and claws had a new purpose. She devoured the knight. Blood mixing with the downpour of the storm.

“She made a new burrow, a giant burrow. Where we are all eternally safe. A burrow big enough that knights could walk right in. And her God would lead the knights to her. Wolves to the slaughter. Entertainment to satiate her bloodlust.

“But there is never enough knight’s blood spilled to appease the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.”

[sihayart]

"That's no ordinary rabbit! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!" 🐇

[keitrinkomfloukru]

How soon we forget.

Imagine for a moment though if you will if maia were a GIANT kitty, tiger moment

hm, this seams infeasible ,maia is tinny scary kity big and scary tiny kity kitten tiny hopet his helps

[bunnyrabbitbracket]

THE BUNNY RABBIT BRACKET: ROUND TWO

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

𝕽𝖆𝖇𝖇𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝕮𝖆𝖊𝖗𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖌 𝖇𝖞 𝕬𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖈𝖊

[volvosandvampires]

Importantly, they both have “vicious streaks a mile wide.”

[yuesya]

In the spirit of Halloween, what kind of monster do you think Shiki would be? I imagine her more as a vampire type but I'd love to hear your thoughts

Hmm, I've never thought about this before haha. I guess she could make a good stoic vampire? Not sure about the blood-drinking part of it, though.

[skrumbly-booplo-incorporated]

Winners' Round 2 – Match 6

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[chernobog13]

WHEN FAIL THE WEAPONS OF MAN...

From the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9–21:

"And Saint Attilla raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.' And the LORD did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu... "

Skip a bit, brother.

"... And the LORD spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

King Arthur: One, two, five!

Sir Galahad: Three, sir!

King Arthur: Three!

And thus endeth the rampage of the dread Rabbit of Caerbannog, the killer Easter Bunny.

[thelandswemadeofpaper]

I'd cuddle the Rabbit of Caerbannog

[howlingday]

Do you ship Velvet with anyone?

Yup. I usually ship her with Jaune or Cardin, but I also consider Yatsuhashi a viable option.

Jaune and Velvet are the classic trope of "sweethearts who become sweethearts," while maybe dabbling in some bullybuster Jaune work.

Cardin and Velvet work as Cardin's attempt at redemption because let's face it, Cardin was a straight up asshole. Especially to Velvet. BUT he did risk his life during the Battle for Beacon, so maybe Jaune knocked some sense into him?

Yatsuhashi and Velvet are the most likely, to me, to be endgame. Like with Jaune, the story Yatsuhashi and Velvet follows the ol' "sweethearts becoming sweethearts" with the added benefit of having canonical interactions to support them. The way they look out for each other in the novels is one of the few highlights of the Vacuo books.

[aardwolfpack]

"Rabbit of Caerbannog" by Paroro.

[meenoosart]

MEENOO's ART

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