#The Path She Picked

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I really like is that April’s constant stream of odd jobs she goes through is somewhat reflected in the boys as well. Like, you have April working at random pizza places or getting a crane license or being fully willing to apply for a job at a place clearly made out of cardboard. Then you have the boys as well who do anything from working as a basketball mascot, building a massive dog park, being waiters, getting a whole band gig at a theme park, etc, etc-

Main difference is that April actively applies for these jobs (and is hopefully paid for the short time she’s in them) whereas for the bros the jobs usually find them (and they practically never get paid.) It doesn’t even stop at jobs either, they just seem to casually amass skills in general.

I don’t know, I like how both April and the turtles are just so ready and willing to do things. Sure, they’re not always good at these things, but they do them readily! In a way, being heroes is just another job (well, more like volunteer work/vigilantism/another fun activity) that they initially took on because of their general sense of “why not?”

They’re very willing and open to trying out new things despite their tendency to revert back to what they enjoy (and how commonly trying new things ends up going wrong), and I think that adaptational interest of theirs really helps them be well rounded in multiple regards.

[lovvedaggers]

Eddie Diaz has the worst case of comphet to ever be put in a tv show I need this man to be free from the shackles of heterosexuality

[nellasbookplanet]

That one post which I can no longer find about how Laudna and Imogen simultaneously embody "I can fix her" and "I can make her worse" truly hit the nail on the head about them. They are each other’s tethers, keep each other grounded and help the other remember there’s a reason to go on, they taught each other that they don’t have to be lonely and isolated and feared, that they can be loved unconditionally not despite that which makes them dangerous and different but in part because of it, as an inherent part of themselves. They will fight for each other’s happiness tooth and nail.

But they are also the 'together either way' couple. Laudna would follow in Delilah's footsteps and burn the world and herself for Imogen. If she thinks Ruidus and Predathos are Imogen's destiny, what would make her whole and happy, she would encourage her to embrace it, Exandria be damned. Imogen exalted because of her love for Laudna. She was prepared to do just about anything to get Laudna back from the dead and is equally prepared to do anything now to stop it from happening again. She offered to let Laudna eat her soul. She's so so tempted by Ruidus and knows, even in her struggle, that the person she loves most would never hold it against her even a little bit if she gave in.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[destinywillowleaf]

so apparently I've headcanoned these two as brothers since at least 2018 and I'm not stopping any time soon >:) debeste-fulbright sibling rights now and forever

also I think Sebastian would be a detective/investigator and not just a prosecutor, I can and will elaborate

[bacchuschucklefuck]

holding onto nsbu with both hands you are my saviour my everything. why is izzy doing the Most

[ohnothisisathing]

If you missed it, Tina said she wanted to do a 100 day birthday for Empanada which is a Korean tradition, and it’ll falls on the 29th of February because it’s a leap year! How cool!

[quinklequonkle]

I'M SO HAPPY!!! I HAVE GREAT NEWS!!!

So recently one of my kittens, her name is Buttercup, went missing for about two weeks and it made me spiral a bit cause that's my baby

TODAY SHE CAME BACK!!! SHE WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH AND MY MOM BROUGHT HER TO ME!!!

[aashiyancha]

Starting the Capitol Arc (part 36)

Masterpost link here

[marsixm]

i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???

[pendragora]

Did you guys know

That you can learn languages

FOR FUNSIES???

[raehs]

rey’s lightsaber fighting style is dependent on the verse. prequels she’s especially skilled in jar’kai, form iv (ataru) + djem so and has a lot more fluid motions (and add on any inspiration she takes from her master). in the sequels she’s self taught and is more chaotic, messy, adapts in the moment, less acrobatic + more aggressive, to the point and won’t wait for someone to attack her. she still ends up meshing her own fighting style with inspiration from the above forms but also takes a lot after luke’s fighting styles (which is modeled after anakin/vader).

[swan2swan]

Absolutely incredible how I went into both Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory fully ready to commit to a gay ship but both of them wound up giving me next to nothing in the first season.

[outism-had-a-purpose]

The crowd (@pinanolada) has requested the limbus dregs! Ask, and they shall receive it.

Woe, mirror Ryoshu be upon ye.

I don't like this snagharpoon Ishy design much though. Is there a harpoon apparel and something that looks like her headband in FR? Without it she does not give off Ishmael vibes.

[yellowfingcr]

15 lines of dialogue

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

tagged by: @oathloathed & @rotten-pest, thank you ;w;

tagging: @necrophcge, @fishermcn, @sihilkaah, @miserycorde, @starcaller-scholar, and YOU, yes you

"Why such rush? Do stay! Time nips not at your heels, friend. Warm your bones, breathe a little. The world can concede a moment's respite to you; concede it to yourself."

"Name's Heysel! I'm a wanderer, arcane scholar, mediocre player of gittern, collector of fascinating dry leaves, and appreciator of poor jokes. In short, no one of note."

"I also happen to be an assassin. Believe me when I say that it's not the most important detail about myself. Tell me of yourself, rather!"

"The ghost dog's presence is not negotiable, I'm afraid."

"Ha! You again! A delight to see you, and whole at that! Will you believe me if I said I was just thinking about you?"

"Here. As a reward for... well, the never so obvious task of surviving! Choose a hand. One is empty, the other has something for you."

"Never expect a crab to share a thing with you. They're quite shellfish."

"Beautiful night, isn't it? I'm still not used to a static sky! Makes me want to extend my arms and try to pluck stars out of the black even more than when I was a child. I so wanted to grab them. I so wanted to place one inside my mouth, then bite down and feel the cold sour-bright flavor of it burst on my tongue."

"Friend! You live still. More rewards for you hidden in the correct hand. Buuut! Only if you first tell me what do you think of this whole... mission you've been tasked with. Saving the world. Fixing it, rather. You've been pondering it, surely? Unless you're just chasing bloodlust. I do not judge, either way."

"Come on now. I'm just a little guy. I'm a just a little guy, and it's also my birthday."

"I just can't help but think- is this right? To kill and kill and kill until you stand bloodied and alone on that throne. To conquer the power to change wholly the face of history through a violence so perfect none are left to oppose you. Is it right? It's exactly what's demanded of you."

"I do miss my hometown. Something of Sellia remains, sure. I suppose a pile of stone and ghosts is better than nothing."

"Don't give me that look. Of course I have my secrets! It's the best part about me!"

"I'm not a good person. This is not an attempt at teasing soothing words out of your lips but a mere passing of a sentence I believe in. A letter of sorts, seal-closed. Keep it in mind, is all I ask."

"A word, if I may steal a moment of your time. I have, ah... a request, if I may be so bold. At one point of your journey you might feel like you're about to face something final. An event the likes of which no one will come back from the same. And I ask that you call for me. Take me with you. I'd like to present. Please."

[fionaapplesmackdown]

recently pressed flowers + leaf !!!!!