#The Path She Picked

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I really like is that April’s constant stream of odd jobs she goes through is somewhat reflected in the boys as well. Like, you have April working at random pizza places or getting a crane license or being fully willing to apply for a job at a place clearly made out of cardboard. Then you have the boys as well who do anything from working as a basketball mascot, building a massive dog park, being waiters, getting a whole band gig at a theme park, etc, etc-

Main difference is that April actively applies for these jobs (and is hopefully paid for the short time she’s in them) whereas for the bros the jobs usually find them (and they practically never get paid.) It doesn’t even stop at jobs either, they just seem to casually amass skills in general.

I don’t know, I like how both April and the turtles are just so ready and willing to do things. Sure, they’re not always good at these things, but they do them readily! In a way, being heroes is just another job (well, more like volunteer work/vigilantism/another fun activity) that they initially took on because of their general sense of “why not?”

They’re very willing and open to trying out new things despite their tendency to revert back to what they enjoy (and how commonly trying new things ends up going wrong), and I think that adaptational interest of theirs really helps them be well rounded in multiple regards.

[lovvedaggers]

Eddie Diaz has the worst case of comphet to ever be put in a tv show I need this man to be free from the shackles of heterosexuality

[nellasbookplanet]

That one post which I can no longer find about how Laudna and Imogen simultaneously embody "I can fix her" and "I can make her worse" truly hit the nail on the head about them. They are each other’s tethers, keep each other grounded and help the other remember there’s a reason to go on, they taught each other that they don’t have to be lonely and isolated and feared, that they can be loved unconditionally not despite that which makes them dangerous and different but in part because of it, as an inherent part of themselves. They will fight for each other’s happiness tooth and nail.

But they are also the 'together either way' couple. Laudna would follow in Delilah's footsteps and burn the world and herself for Imogen. If she thinks Ruidus and Predathos are Imogen's destiny, what would make her whole and happy, she would encourage her to embrace it, Exandria be damned. Imogen exalted because of her love for Laudna. She was prepared to do just about anything to get Laudna back from the dead and is equally prepared to do anything now to stop it from happening again. She offered to let Laudna eat her soul. She's so so tempted by Ruidus and knows, even in her struggle, that the person she loves most would never hold it against her even a little bit if she gave in.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[destinywillowleaf]

so apparently I've headcanoned these two as brothers since at least 2018 and I'm not stopping any time soon >:) debeste-fulbright sibling rights now and forever

also I think Sebastian would be a detective/investigator and not just a prosecutor, I can and will elaborate

[emmriches]

emmrich’s personal choice quest holds a weight to it that i really feel like the others didn’t or tried and couldn’t

[bacchuschucklefuck]

holding onto nsbu with both hands you are my saviour my everything. why is izzy doing the Most

[ohnothisisathing]

If you missed it, Tina said she wanted to do a 100 day birthday for Empanada which is a Korean tradition, and it’ll falls on the 29th of February because it’s a leap year! How cool!

[yuseirra]

Onk spoilers(166)!!

Found out what happens in the last chapter!!

Oh seriously though??? It was the worst in a lot of ways but actually, I'm SO RELIEVED because

It explains literally nothing... There is NOTHING at all to take away. I really can believe in what I theorized with so wholeheartedly. That really IS the best way to make things work. I'm going to attach drawings to go with it and upload it on pixiv with the explanation because, it DOES make everything come together without even having to change a single thing. Believe me, I really think that should be the way, maybe the ONLY way to make things ACTUALLY WORK.

gosh I was prepping for the WORST of the WORST and it's helped. It's so bad but I can still draw. I can still theorize if it's like this but what is the point of doing that for a series that's been completed huh????

This is so half-baked;;;extremely so...

No but you can't write like this unless you just ditched the writing. Nothing is explained. Oh wow. Thank goodness I can still draw hikaai, I really DON'T THINK HIKARU HARMED AI. HE MUST HAVE JUST TRIED TO SEND A BOUQUET. What the heck though??? Shouldn't they explain the truth??? Shouldn't they really.. Reveal what happened regarding him and Ai before the series go? What if he REALLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING? Do I HAVE to believe Aqua's thoughts that Kamiki manipulated Ryosuke to kill Ai by showing him a toothbrush that she's left in his apartment? How can Ryosuke's actions be justified?? And how IS that manipulation? How can you be so triggered over a freaking toothbrush. It would NOT have had ANY EFFECT on normal people. Ai even drew a cute heart next to her name, could be out of habit but considering how she is afraid of revealing herself and opening up to people, I figure she was quite happy and relaxed when she was around with Hikaru you know. They WERE loving.

What I wrote earlier EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. About how the star eyes work and came to be, what Hikaru had been doing and why he was so attached to Ai and was so desperate on seeing her again, how Ai is a "star", the idea of gods and missions and what each twins had as their mission, it also explains how Ruby "shines" brighter than anyone, the part about wishes, why Aqua had to take those extreme measures and give up his all, how Hikaru managed to do all these weird stuff and why people kept dying around him, and it also predicted the ending pretty well. That theory I have CAN explain everything in a very coherent sense. It makes everything add up together. That HAS to be it. It really just... Only adds to what this whole story is. It can't be otherwise. Because nothing is explained.

But the writers have to...take responsibility for their work, this is really like a normal ending in a video game that you get when you fail to collect all the hidden items and all. Can't they draw out a true ending??? It really seems like everyone failed in this particular timeline we're seeing as a comic. Since they stated everything is fiction, can't there be multiple endings then?? Aqua took the wrong route. I honestly.. See this piece being so. He should have followed his mom's wishes(grow up healthy, help the dad) idk, collect more items. This really DOES feel like a bad ending of a video game but surprise!!!

It's not the worst for me because we still don't know what the heck Hikaru is and I sincerely believe he really is a noble god who fell after being tainted by the industry. And we STILL don't know if he is the one responsible for Ai's death so I might as well believe him because WHY THE HELL WOULD HE GO AFTER HIS ONLY LOVE. HE WAS SO PASSIVE. I studied psychology that guy can't do it. If he were to get back at her he would have done it not so short after the moment she left him, why wait four years and...attack her when she called him up to come visit their children who strikingly resemble both him and his beloved Ai. They look so much like him too... He said himself he has paternal feelings and I believe that!! Because why wouldn't he, they take after him and the one he loves so much.. Wouldn't THAT be so precious?

And the fact that Ai really loved Hikaru didn't get refuted so that's a solid fact. Even if they add something in the final volume, there's no way they're going to overturn it so my interpretations of her feelings to him and him towards her are SAFE. Thank goodness.

But there's still NOTHING to take away from. In fact, it makes the message even worse;; not going to say much but it even negates this idea that was set forth in the recent chapter as well?? So what are they trying to say with this piece?

Oh but at least my favorite characters are SAFE from the author's hands!!! Nothing is worse in terms of them. In that case, I can feel free. I can draw them. I had no idea that they wouldn't even make a single appearance in the final chapter but that may be better than showing up and being horrible portrayals, at least what they had with each other's set in stone. That's good news. See? I can hope! My chest is actually lifted because it isn't too different from what I thought would be. The 4 recent chapters(I'm being so generous here) have NOTHING to offer. It doesn't have a point.

Hikaru drowning, let's say, that part can be actually from the myths if he's the embodiment if Sarutahiko. I care for him but I can see how that is. Everything after that point though? Oh, I can draw out something while maintaining the themes and message while making Aqua live and Ruby "shine" bright as an idol as "Amaterasu". I'm sure many artists will be willing to as well.

They have to get back to these ideas about gods and missions, why aren't they doing that? It really IS what that can make this story come together so why don't they do it?? Why were those things there? I really think that must have been it!! It explains everything!! It works!!

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Aventurine.

[quinklequonkle]

I'M SO HAPPY!!! I HAVE GREAT NEWS!!!

So recently one of my kittens, her name is Buttercup, went missing for about two weeks and it made me spiral a bit cause that's my baby

TODAY SHE CAME BACK!!! SHE WAS SITTING ON THE PORCH AND MY MOM BROUGHT HER TO ME!!!

[aashiyancha]

Starting the Capitol Arc (part 36)

Masterpost link here

[pendragora]

Did you guys know

That you can learn languages

FOR FUNSIES???

[marsixm]

i also think the fact that i had such a stunted and isolated upbringing and now that im an adult all my friends are on atypical life paths (and honestly even my friends as a kid were like this too) means i find things that are usually very common life stages really interesting. like knowing someone who has a house and a wife and 2 kids (with that wife) and a job with a salary feels like meeting fucking paul bunyun to me. or hearing the kids i work with talk about graduating high school and going to college and being on a real path with that stuff is neat? or even sometimes knowing cis/het people who are like going thru that coming of age stuff that i never really experienced the way you see it in the movies bc of transness/queerness/neurodivergence. its like woah they said the name of the thing in the thing. do u know what i mean???

[kuromi-hoemie]

hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

[swan2swan]

Absolutely incredible how I went into both Camp Cretaceous and Chaos Theory fully ready to commit to a gay ship but both of them wound up giving me next to nothing in the first season.