#The Long Night Had Come Again
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its-short-for-jackalope · 1 year ago
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okay shhh I'm a teensy bit late in making this post but
holy shit, M.A.I.A. transmission 12???????
ohhhhhhh man. I am so psyched for TGOA tomorrow. I am also feeling extremely validated because I KNEW there'd be something spooky-ooky in M.A.I.A.'s room after the last transmission!!! 🤩😱💀🖤
if you've seen me post before you know that I tend to get wordy, so as usual I'll be rambling under the cut, lol.
Don't be scared of the dark, that is where the dreaming starts.
That's what we've been told, over and over, but the last few transmissions haven't been as reassuring. Especially when we have THIS fun little encounter to wrap it all up before the new episode airs...
Narrator: All of this adds up to a ghost story u̷n̴l̷i̵k̵e̴ ̷ a̶̺̰͓̟̙̦͑͂̕n̴̨̻̭̝̰̭͗ẏ̷̫̩͔̮̬̦̫̏̅͗ͅ ̸͓͚̖̰̞͊́́̈́̇͝ͅ ơ̷̛̖̬̿̈́͊̉̒̿̏̌̒͗̇̌̄͆͌͊̈̆̈́̓͌̀̈́́̐́̽̃͌́̈̒̅̈́̽̂̈́̈́̍̇̋̇͌̎̎͐̚͘̕̕͘̚̕͝͝͝ţ̷̨̢̛͉̣̝̝̣̤͇̮̗̫̗̣̟̳̣̠̩̺̙̰̻̟̰̞̣̠̘͈́̃͐̏́̀͆͛̎̔̊̆́̆́̊̅͒͊͋̎̆̀͂̂́̃̒̔̓̓̄̿̂̀̿̃͊͛̔̕̕͘̕͜͝͝ͅͅh̸̝͚͇̝̟̖̋͆̊͒͂̔̌̓͊̎́̔̐̈́͌̓̄̄̐͒̔̏͊͛̎̄̒͆̓͋́̆͗̇̒̕̕̕̚͝͠͝͝͝͝ȩ̵̧̼̮̖͔͉̣̻̼̞̖͈̝̼̘̣̃̋́̂̔̍̈͗̈́͊̓̀͑̅̌͛͗̊̊͗̕͘ͅṟ̶̨̨̢̨̢̢̛͉̼̣̬̞̼̥͉̦̼̩͓̦̦͍̟͉̣̮̬̼͍̦̣̜͕͔͇̲̜͈͍̫͙͕͇̻̠͓͕̲̀͊́̓̈́̈́͗̇̾͗͗͆̓͗̇͆̅̈́̈́́́͆̓̀̂̄͌͋̍̍͆̇͋̓̊̓̅͌̀́̅̂̔͛̍̈̍͗̑͆́̿̃̀̄͐̐̈͛̕̚̕͘̕͜͜͜͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅ—̴̢̡̛̛͙̖̖̥̲̬̲̲̠̭̠̝̯̤̳̯̝̼̠̰͕̲̣͓̩̝̱̮͉̮̝̩̣̰̬͎̬̘̰̯̫̥̼͓̱͉͇̺̩͎͇̗̦͕̪͖̙̠̗̻̝̣̆͊̎́̒͗̄̽̔̇́̽̓́͊̏́͐̈̈́̍̇͛̉̽͊̀̆̓̀̀̀̓͗̎̾̉̓͆̀̈̓̎͌̓͌̂̀̓̉̐͊̈̌͘͘͘̕̕͘̕͜͜͝͝͠͝͝ͅ
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Narrator: ...That was too close. You see, we've been in the light of day thus far, listeners—it was only a matter of time before night fell.
Whatever happens, we'll fight it together.
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quick aside: Jackie's art is freaking incredible. After seeing the reruns for TGMH & TBS and these little teasers in the transmissions, I cannot wait to see what pretty & spooky scenes she's got waiting for us in TGOA!!! 🤩
Now, a few thoughts I've had after watching this transmission several times how:
OH MY GOD, I HOPE M.A.I.A. IS OKAY. can the shadows corrupt or damage her??? are we going to see that happening during the broadcast??? are the storytellers no longer safe from the story???
ough, just the way the shadows move, the texture they have, the visible weight of them. they look so tangible, like they have an impact on the world around them, like if they touch you, you'll feel it. It makes me think of falling sand, almost, or a real gritty, heavy smoke that'll mess you the hell up if it gets too close. No wonder M.A.I.A. starts freaking out when it shows up, I would freak out too!
It's definitely time to be scared of the dark—something's happened each time our trusty narrator tries to remind us not to be. Someone wants us to be scared, and I think that someone is probably the mysterious Kal, especially after his portrait reveal. He does nooooot look like he's gonna be up to any good, lmao. very excited to meet him. if he's got control/influence over the shadows, I think it's fair to be worried. (Sorry, Matt! 😬)
then again, the Narrator sounds more weary and resigned than afraid—maybe we can take that as a good sign. He knows more than we do, so if he's not looking forward to this darkness but also isn't hopeless in the face of it, then maybe our heroes don't have to worry too much...? (Of course, I also love whenever it's like *creepy shit happens* *character just sighs and looks annoyed* "ugh, not this shit again" lmao so even if I'm a little scared, I'm having a good time!!! aihsbsnwjwanssjhsbshz)
I think that's all my coherent thoughts for the moment, so bye for now. oh, and
LESS THAN 24 HOURS UNTIL TGOA PART 1!!!
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somegrumpynerd · 4 months ago
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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them
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here-comes-the-moose · 5 months ago
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Crosshair: I’m sneaking out tonight to meet with a guy, I need you to cover for me to Echo.
Omega: Sure.
Wrecker: No problem.
Hunter: Alright.
*later that night*
Echo: Where’s Crosshair?
*all responding at the same time*
Hunter: Sleeping.
Omega: Practicing.
Wrecker: Pooping.
Echo: …
Hunter: …
Omega: …
Wrecker: …
Tech from beyond the grave: …
Echo, sighing: Honestly I’m not even mad I’m just disappointed in how bad you all are at lying.
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mysticalcats · 3 months ago
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
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swordmaid · 6 days ago
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this convo hitting so different if ur a lolth drow like minthara
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#ntm shri'iia's initial fear at the start (and what lead her to eventually break her oath (accidentally!!)) was her getting hatecrimed#bc she's a drow. bc she's been told how much the surfacers hate her kind and how they are the Enemy#like if surfacers are scared and wary of lolth drows bc of what they do up there i think they'd be scared and wary of surfacers too bc of#what they've been made to believe in. and the fact that kindness or anything Good generally does not Exist or is very scarce in their#society so getting treated better is something that doesn't come to mind (more so for shri'iia bc she was raised in the Braeryn where#the drow nobles go down there to terrorize the poor people. like i dont think she had that luxury or chance to experience goodwill UNTIL sh#was dropped off in the surface and was given the benefit of the doubt -> which is more than what she expected or what she was given before#but anyway that convo where minty says they begin to see you in the same light probably ‼️‼️ alarmed her#bc i think she's only starting to become comfortable and safe around other people. like this is early act 3 shri'iia too#it does take her a long time to get accustomed to other people and let her guard down. then minty says something like that and i think it'l#set her off. like she's gonna start getting paranoid again. then vampire abduction happens the next night she's like OUP.#takes the astral tadpole out of her own fear and paranoia bc she's had that belief that having power and strength will make her feel safe#(it does not.) it's the same reason why she took the tadpole in act 1 in the first place#since she takes it after breaking her oath and feeling like she's significantly weaker. shri'iia can't feel like she's lacking in anything#ever she needs that security net that she's strong enough or capable enough and she needs others to know that about herself too she's too#insecure. and i think having two instances where her paranoia gets ticked off will push her to take the astral tadpole. like its#really out of impulse. and i think part of her oathbreaker arc is her learning how to tame that paranoia too and just generally learning#how to feel comfortable and safe. but anyway. thats part of the reason why i like minty#to be the one who gets kidnapped hehe. second part is the toxic yuri of it all 🤤🤤🤤#shut up about bg3.
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gl1tch-whaa · 1 year ago
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2 lil whiteboard doodles
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littlelightfish · 6 months ago
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As I said I would, I drew my oc with yours my beloved @clawdouobit
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My pretty girl likes to infodump your pretty girl about the smallest things. She's like a reel, talks a lot but most of it is meaningless.
Close ups and more info because I can't shut up ehtier under the cut <3
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20 years old and engaged to a half-foot. They're waiting to gain some more money to get married and leave the dungeon. Note: they're best friends but idk if what they have going on is truly romantic love or just a very good friendship.
Quite skilled at upper levels, but wouldn't go to lesser levels. She isn't skilled enough to make her party survive there.
Her race is a mix between gnome and half-foot. Idk if that's possible but I don't think it's not.
If I had to guess, she's 13/14 on half-foot standars. It's unclear whether she's an adult or not, but she's preety mature most of the time. Most.
Flushed cheeks always. Also very pale.
She's 109 cms tall, a lot more than avarage on haflings, but lot less than avarage on gnomes. Since she hangs out mostly with haflings, she's a giant woman. This gives her some problems with traps so her BMI is 18 due to diet.
Fwens with Shahad. Who knows why tho. We gotta figure that out ;}
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acourtofquestions · 1 month ago
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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kickbutts-singsongs · 6 days ago
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You would not believe your eyes
If two really stupid guys
Barged into your dorm at 12:30am
#this happened a few nights ago but I didn’t know how to say it but this concept came to me at 4am lmaooooo#anyways so yeah my roommate is studying at her desk and I’m scrolling on my phone in bed in my pjs#when I hear a bit of a commotion near our dorm and my first thought is ‘oh no they’re gonna come inside’ before telling myself:#a) that’s silly those boys wouldn’t do that and b) our door’s totally locked so it’s fine#but turns out I was wrong on both counts :/#cuz the next thing I knew two random dude are *in my room* and they had said smth (but I was too shocked to register anything except ‘??!!’)#(y’all I was in my pjs too I was sittin there without a bra 😭😭😭😭😭😭)#eventually tho my face went from being shocked to being furious and I gotta say I haven’t heard myself use such an angry tone in a long time#but I basically demanded ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE’ and their faces quickly paled and they backtracked by saying ‘oops wrong dorm’#(likely story cuz mine and my roommates names are literally ON THE DOOR and that whole hall is FULLY LIT UP like how can you miss that???)#I talked with one of my friends about this (cuz I wanted to see what she thought and if maybe those guys really were mistaken)#but then she brought up that ^ point and yeah if I see em doing anything like that again I’ll prob report em to my ra or smth#but until then I guess my roommate and I will be making to sure keep our door properly locked 💀#🎶song sings🎶
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leslieseveride · 8 months ago
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i'm not gonna lie you guys, i'm starting to think i ship bucktommy more than buddie now.
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4ce-of-2pades-inkwell · 2 years ago
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< Last / Next >
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jrueships · 4 months ago
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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kaythefloppa · 4 months ago
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Anyways, I headcanon that Victor demanded Shuriki made him and Esteban malvagos during his reign to ensure their position of power, but this actively went against Shuriki’s ban on magic save for her own, and his frequent demands made her realize she was a threat so she banished him and his family whilst Esteban remained because he was already too scared of what Shuriki would do.
And when he found Shuriki in the forest, he knew that he could strike a deal with her to become a wizard without the threat of banishment, which they did, but both of them planned on betraying the other once they took down Elena.
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butnotbubblegum · 4 months ago
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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forcedhesitation · 8 months ago
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this is... interesting. If I'm not mistaken, the list of people banned from the waning moon is supposed to be a bunch of devs, but gerringothe thorm obviously isn't one, and the "unknown elf" sounds far too much like astarion to not be him.
if you have a companion interact with the magic mirror, they have unique wishes they can share. the first wish always seems to be their deepest desire, past all the fear, pride, anger, regret, etc. that they may feel. wyll's, for example, is wishing to see his father extending his arms in forgiveness to him (wyll. pleeease pleaase pleease your dad was the one who was wrong T____T).
astarion wishes to see his home. his real home. after reading this line, I was reminded of the note in the waning moon...and well...what if astarion's real home was originally reithwin town? or somewhere nearby it? the timeline checks out, the shadowcurse has been around for about 100 years, according to halsin. astarion's been a spawn for around 200 years...
the only thing I can think of that might contradict this is something mr. stephen rooney (his writer) said in an interview, about not being sure what direction to take astarion's story in act 2. but given that this was said of the astarion made for the 3 act story we know, and that there still exist many remnants of old ideas since reworked in the live game, it's not impossible that the original story might have included something about astarion's real home being the shadowcursed lands.
sad too, because if it is true, it means that it's very likely that his family was lost to the shadowcurse. and his family wouldn't have ever known that they lost their son to the shadows long ago....
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britneyshakespeare · 11 days ago
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i opened gno cloe and i can't even begin to tell you how stunningly beautiful she is to hold
#she's all i expected her to be and more#🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤💙🖤#tales from diana#i love how most of my personal posts these days are either complaining about work or teeheeing about bratz dolls#THE BODY GLITTER!!! THE ROOTED EYELASHES!!!!!!#i really mainly got her for her second outfit (that the repros come w... cries i know the original had THREE outfits ffs!!)#but when i took her out of the box she was just so stunningly beautiful in that semi-formal dress that i couldnt take her out of it yet#kaily was also in awe#we unboxed alwayz bratz jade and gno cloe on a friday night while our parents were out seeing a standup show#i cant stress enough not just how beautiful she is in person but actually out of the box and to hold#i was explaining to kaily about how getting into bratz again has just felt so fucking good. like so much better than i expected#if i knew how great it would feel i would've started buying bratz again years ago tbh. i always gazed from a distance in longing#but oh... em... gee. it's like so difference once you just open one or two. it's over#and kaily has respected and admired my passion from the sidelines but not until she held gno cloe herself was she like#'ok. i get it. shes beautiful. this feels so fucking good' YEAH RIGHT???!?!?!?!?#i also have to say the repros of 2000s bratz hit different. my kumi felicia and cloe are on another level#from alwayz yasmin and jade. as much as i love them#idk i also think i just prefer the old unarticulated bodies. but i do like the slight bend-and-snap knees the new bodies have#bratz dont need elbow articulation. it just doesnt feel representative of the time they came out and thrived in#it just feels not as bratz i suppose#but i still like the new bratz well enough. ive seen leaks of that line coming up next year... im gonna have to get that sasha#shes the only one of the core 4 i dont have yet so i want whichever sasha i finally acquire to be really special
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