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alolanroy · 9 months ago

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2024 Watch Thread-Part 3

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/743462089395470336/2024-watch-thread-part-2?source=share

Lensman (anime): Sometimes lost media is bad. I'm glad it was found, but it still wasn't good 3/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: It got a few sensible chuckles out of us, but I'm glad they figured out how to make comedies funny after this. 5/10

Zombie vs Ninja (aka The Undertaker of Sohwa Provence). A South Korean parody of Chinese Kung-fu movies billed as ninjas for the US market. Imagine a turducken if every layer was racism. -5/10

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor: While my PC and Unreal were fighting for their lives, this janky game blew me away. Rarely do we get sequels that truly feel iterative, let alone head and shoulders better than their predecessors. It continually fed me new toys and mechanical twists. I think I'll remember this as both a fun action game and as an outstanding metroidvania. It made me remember that I liked Star Wars, and for that I am thankful. 9/10

Protodoid Delta: I see what they are trying to do here, but it just wasn't fun. just a lot of generic platforming and combat that didn't feel right. Weak buster shots and a three-hit melee I didn't find reliable do not a combat system make. 3/10

Blades: Not quite funny enough for the comedic premise, but for my friends who hadn't seen jaws, it still was enough of a thriller to hold their interests -5/10

Monster Squad: I feel like if this came out when I was a kid, this would have been my favorite movie of all time. The fun monster madness and tone was almost enough to distract me from how the horrible pan'n'scan always found a way to crop out the black buddy-cop, even when he was the one speaking. 7/10

Star Wars The Bad Batch: In all fairness, I stopped only a few episodes in, but this just felt like Dave Filloni playing with his action figures. No real tension, just a parade of his OCs talking to each other, mostly with the same voice. I don't really care to find out if it gets better, because all I've seen is people get excited that more characters from Clone Wars show up. I want a good show, not reminders of a good show. 4/10

Goldeneye: I'm glad Bond isn't quite as brutish with women as the franchise was historically, but while watching it with someone who had never seen a Bond movie before, it occurred to me how strange this movie is without the context it is trying to respond to. 6/10

Battle Star Wars: There wasn't much battle or wars in this one. The stars were allright, but I would've preferred maybe some different hallways or a second hill in the California desert. Hell, I think a second jpeg of the Earth might've gone along way. Besides one of the most funny-bad costumes I've ever seen, this was utterly forgettable. -2/10

Gundam Seed Freedom: This might actually be the most frustrating movie I have ever seen. It made me so mad that I, no joke, walked out to the lobby and stared at an arcade machine to cool off. The writing on display is insanely bad. The first half hour is a sequence of scenes where characters state their thoughts and exposit about a fanfiction-tier plot that barely makes sense. If you liked the cuck arc from Seed Destiny, you will love this movie. It doubles down on the concentric melodrama to a point where everyone has to just be cartoonishly mean-spirited and has the same ending as Destiny, down to the macguffin. 0/10

The Intruder (1962): The day of Roger Corman's passing, this film came up a few times. I took a chance and within a minute and a half I knew this would be a winner. I've never seen a film more quickly and elegantly set up that a character might as well be the devil. Shatner is absolutely fucking evil in this role and it is GREAT. The more I read about this film the more ballsy I realize it was. allegedly this was filmed using mostly actual locals given a watered-down script. All those teens actually went through integration the year before. absolutely wild. 10/10

The Last Man on Earth (1964): Wow, I can't belive that Will Smith Movie 'I am Legend' ripped this off. *Checks Wikipedia* Oh. 7/10

Vikingdom: When people say that a movie feels like a videogame, Ithink this is what they should mean. I would describe it as Jason and the Argonauts by way of a ps3 action game. Cheap as hell, but willing to go hard at random intervals. Shoutout to the sequence in the land of the dead. 6/10

The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses: I'm no expert on Czec new wave cinema, but I think that this was pretty neat. However, I'm not sure that it really fit the mood of a Costco Pizza movie night. 7/10

Dragonball: The Magic Begins: This movie is a laugh-riot mix of good wuxia action and bursts of some laughable CG...until it slows to a crawl at Kame House for like and hour and kills all its energy. The remaster they had on Amazon was gorgeous, but uncanny since these movies aren't usually accessible in any quality. The funniest takeaway was that the production interpreted anime hair as an 80s hong kong action lady perm, so Goku ended up looking a little they/them. -7/10

Blood of Zeus Season 2: I feel as though I can't speak for it much since this is clearly part 1 of a two part story, but it certainly is cut from the Castlevania mold. It does have better forward momentum than its predecessors, but the main party feels almost auxiliary to the other plotlines. I kinda forgot what they were supposed to be doing. 6/10

Everyone is in LA: I don't think the first batch of guests really grabbed me. If this ever got the chance to 'get good' they might be on to something. 4/10

Teldryn Serious: I get what they were going for, but it didn't really work for me. On the literal side, the quest objectives for the last third broke for me. Otherwise, I felt kind of confused because I guessed what was going on before I was supposed to, so I wasn't sure why the story hadn't caught up. 4/10

The Fall of the House of Usher: I think a lot of Japanese RPGMaker and VNs owe Poe and Corman money. Entertaining, but not mind-blowing 7/10

A.D. Police: It had some real cool energy and episodes, but its sure...uh... ended. 7/10

Gundam Twilight Axis: This is a prime example of the cutoff point between a series of scenes and a story 3/10

Skyrim-Mirai: I won't judge this too harshly since I really do feel teenage wish-fulfilment radiating off of this mod. When it clicked for me that Mirai has essentially the same narrative as Serana, and the romance post-game is longer than her main quest...I knew I had to meet it it's level. Not sure I like her ambiguous age, but I chalk it up to harmless fanfiction cringe. 6/10

Jiu Jitsu: With a little editing, this could have been an all-timer martial arts vs. predator mashup movie with a cool alien costume. Nick Cage is in it for a surprising amount and the martial arts is shot pretty fun. Sadly the movie as it exists starts off poorly and gives the impression that the movie is less ambitious than it might actually be. As a result I tuned out for the first half. 4/10

Dick Tracey: The funny makeup and production design does its best, but the awful pacing kneecaps the flow it has at the start. 4/10

Year One: uuugh -3/10

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom: We really had to make our own fun on this one. Except that gnomes, those were great -4/10

Jack-Of-All-Trades!? A Day in the Life of Master Micchi: The geats cast really is at its best once the series is over. These characters are just funny to follow around without the end of the world looming. 5/10

Kamen Rider Geats: 4 Aces and the Black Fox: This would have scored a full point higher if the main villains weren't a greasy discord mod/discord kitten pair that just did not fit the sick recolor of Geats 9. The brief pre-production view of Gotchard made me sad about what we ended up getting. 5.5/10

Kamen Rider The Winter Movie: Gotchard & Geats Strongest Chemy★Great Gotcha Operation: I know getting turned into a marketable plushie is a meme and all, but this was hilarious. Until it turns into a generic Rider movie in the last third, the puppets are funny as hell and the Geats cast shines so well against the mildness of the chemies. 6/10

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thepaisleyreview · 1 year ago

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Science-Fiction. Sorted.

Key: strikethrough means duplicate to be deleted ; bold means recommended ; I have not listened to everything.

A-C

Abbott, Edwin A - Flatland (1884) Banks, Iain M - Use of Weapons (1990) Bear, Greg - Eon (1985) Bester, Alfred - The Demolished Man (1953) Bradbury, Ray - The Martian Chronicles Brin, David - Startide Rising (1983) Brin, David - The Postman (1985) Brin, David - The Uplift War (1987)

Dick, Philip K

Dick, Philip K - UBIK (1969) Dick, Phillip K - The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch 1964 Philip K Dick - VALIS - 1981 Dick, Philip K - Broken Bubble (1988) Dick, Philip K - Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep (1966) Dick, Philip K - Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said (1974) Dick, Philip K - Interviews [ note: unsorted ] Dick, Philip K - Mr. Spaceship (1953) Dick, Philip K - Of Withered Apples Dick, Philip K - Radio Free Albemuth (1976) Dick, Philip K -The Man in the High Castle (1962) Dick, Philip K - The Minority Report and Other Stories (2002) Dick, Philip K - Ubik (1969) Dick, Phillip K -A Scanner Darkly (1977) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick - BBC Radio

E-G

Effinger, George Alec - A Fire In The Sun (Budayeen 2) Effinger, George Alec - The Exile Kiss (Budayeen 3) Effinger, George Alec - When Gravity Fails (Budayeen 1) Farmer, Philip Jose - To Your Scattered Bodies Go (1971)

Gibson, William [note: incomplete - have misfiled some]

Gibson, William - All Tomorrows Parties Count Zero (1986) (96kb mp3) Gibson, William - Idoru Neuromancer (1984) [ note: read by the author ] Pattern Recognition (2003) Virtual Light The Peripheral - William Gibson (2014) Agency Alien III An Audible Original Drama

H - Haldeman, Joe - The Forever War Hamilton, Peter F - The Reality Dysfunction (1996) Herbert, Frank - Dune Keyes, Daniel - Flowers for Algernon LeGuin, Ursula - The Dispossessed - 1974 LeGuin, Ursula - The Lathe of Heaven - 1971 LeGuin, Ursula - The Left Hand Of Darkness (1969) LeGuin, Ursula - The Left Hand of Darkness (Alt Copy) LeGuin, Ursula - The Word For The World Is Forest (1976) Lem, Stanislaw - Solaris (1950) L'Engle, Madelein - A Wrinkle in Time Lewis, CS - Out of the Silent Planet (1938) May, Julian - The Many-Colored Land (1981)

McDevitt, Jack - Chindi McDevitt, Jack - Engines_of_god McDevitt, Jack - Time Travelers Never Die -2009 McDevitt, Jack - Echo- Jack McDevitt McDevitt, Jack - Seeker McDevitt, Jack - The Devil's Eye McDevitt, Jack - Polaris-Jack McDevitt McDevitt, Jack - talentforwar.m4b McDonald, Ian - Hyberabad Days Morgan, Richard - Altered Carbon (2002) Niven, Larry - Ringworld - 1970 Niven & Pournelle - The Mote in God's Eye Pohl, Frederik - Gateway Powers, Tim - On Stranger Tides Powers, Tim - Declare Powers, Tim - The Anubis Gates Powers, Tim - Three Days to Never Reynolds, Alasdair Revelation Space - Alastair Reynolds - 2000

Robinson, Kim Stanley - Aurora.m4a Robinson, Kim Stanley - Mars Trilogy [AudioBooks] Robinson, Kim Stanley - New York 2140 Robinson, Kim Stanley - The Years of Rice and Salt Robinson, Kim Stanley - Three Californias Triptych 01 - The Wild Shore [Rudnicki] Robinson, Kim Stanley- Three Californias Triptych 02 - The Gold Coast [Rudnicki] Robinson, Kim Stanley- Three Californias Triptych 03 - Pacific Edge [Rudnicki] Rucker, Rudy Rucker, Rudy - Ware 1 - Software Rucker, Rudy - Ware 2 - Wetware Rucker, Rudy - Ware 3 - Freeware Rucker, Rudy - Ware 4 - Realware

Sagan, Carl - Contact Scalzi, John - Old Man's War (2005) Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein (1818) Simak, Clifford - Way Station (1963) Simmons, Dan - Hyperion Simmons, Dan - Ilium (2003) Smith, E E 'Doc' - Gray Lensman (1940) Stephenson, Neal - The Diamond Age (1995) Sterling, Bruce - Mirrorshades - The Cyberpunk Anthology

Wells, HG - The Invisible Man (1897) Wells, HG - The War of the Worlds Wells, Martha - Artifical condition Willis, Connie - Doomsday Book (1992) Wyndham, John - The Day of the Triffids (1951) Wyndham, John - The Chrysalids Verne, Jules - Journey to the Center of the Earth (1864) Vinge, Vernor - A Fire Upon the Deep (1991)

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exxos-von-steamboldt · 1 year ago

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First 10 that come into my head: Go! Series: 1. Devil Lady 2. Argento Soma 3. Outlaw Star 4. Azumanga Daioh 5. Bubblegum Crisis 6. Blue Seed 7. Hellsing 8. FLCL 9. El Hazard 10: Trigun

Movies: 1. Akira 2. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust 3. Lensman 4. Spirited Away 5. Armitage 6. Appleseed 7. Patlabor 8. Robot Carnival 9. Galaxy Express 999 10. Paprika

Don't include Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh or Sailor Moon either.

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crossoverworldtree · 4 years ago

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Just Out of Curiosity, What Have Buffy and Angel Been Linked Too?

Within the show’s run and in other official canon material, Buffy and Angel have had crossover links to:

The Wild Bunch, Dracula, National Lampoon’s Vacation, The Lord of the Rings, Aliens, Buckaroo Banzai, Ghostbusters, The X-Files, Evil Dead, Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, Doctor Who, and Godzilla. The “Expanded Universe” Material (Dark Horse Comics before Season 8, the IDW comics, Licensed Novels) add:

Frankenstein, James Bond, The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the legendary figure of Springheel Jack, Sherlock Holmes, An American Werewolf in London, The Wolf Man, King Arthur, Zorro, The Cthulhu Mythos, Tarzan, Hellboy, Predator, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV Series), The Devil’s Footprints, Rosanne, Marvel Comic’s character Cytorrak (the thing that empowers The Juggernaut), the Dungeons & Dragons Multiverse, Peter David’s Fallen Angel, and Highlander: The Series. Buffy and Angel have been referenced by other series as well in the crossover sense. Those add:

Eureka, Simon R. Green’s Ghost of a Chance, Andy Barker P.I., Hack/Slash, Supernatural, Gen13, Blood and Bullets, House of the Dead 2 (movie), Marvel’s Legion of Monsters (featuring Elsa Bloodstone, Morbius the Living Vampire, N’kantu the Living Mummy, The Manphibian, Werewolf by Night, Tomb of Dracula, & Daimon Hellstrom), West Coast Avengers (featuring Kate Bishop, Clint Barton, Gwenpool, America Chavez, Quinten Quire, Fuse, Jeff the Land Shark, Madam Masque, Alloy (Ramone Watts), and Noh-Varr), Domino Lady, and American Horror Story: Apocalypse. Those nods come in works that also reference: Carnacki: Ghostfinder, Drinking the Midnight Wing, The Monkeys’ Paw, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter, Halfway to the Grave from the “Night Huntress” novel series, Sonja Blue, Blade (either comics or film series), Solomon Kane, and Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD. Buffy and Angel have been featured in what I like to refer to as “Megacrossover” tales as well, adding a plethora of other series to the mix. The additions include: White Zombie, The Black Coats, Arsene Lupin, Marvel’s Brother Voodoo, Child's Play, Tales of the Zombie, Revolt of the Zombies, Angel Heart, Duke de Richleau, I Walked With a Zombie, John Thunstone, Kolchak the Night Stalker, Pirates of the Caribbean, Captian Blood, Lorna Doone, Gulliver's Travels, the works of Stephen King ("Jerusalem's Lot" in particular), Leatherstocking Tales, Charmed, Treasure Island, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (the original short story), John Carter of Mars, The X-Files, Moby Dick, The Narrative of Arthur Gordan Pym of Nantucket, Mayfair Witches, Doc Savage, The Phantom, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, The Wild West (TV Series), Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, The Lone Ranger, Martin Hewitt, The Shadow, The Body Snatchers (the story on which Invasion of the Body Snatchers was based), L'Enigmatique Fen-Chu, Atlantida, The Exorcist, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Stepford Wives, Young Frankenstein, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Pretender, Beauty and the Beast (1980s Television Series), Bionic Woman (original series), Modesty Blaze, Knight Rider (original Series), The Equalizer, The Nyctalope, Cyrano de Bergerac, The Three Musketeers, The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Invaders (1950s Television Series), Blake and Mortimer (a Belgian comic), Sâr Dubnotal, Blithe Spirit (1941), Lensman, Simon Ark, Dark Shadows, Semi-Dual (The Occult Detector (1912)), Doctor Strange, John J. Malone, Kenneth J. Malone, Network (1976 film), I Dream of Jeannie, Northern Exposure, Jane Arden, The Continental Op, Nate Heller, Judex, Dr. Spektor, Some Like It Hot, Little Caesar, Scarface, Robin and the 7 Hoods, Dick Tracy, The Big Lebowski, Morris Klaw, Suicide Squad (Novel Series that began with Mr. Zero and the FBI Suicide Squad), Theodosia Throckmorton, John Thunstone, Fergus O'Breen, Rocket to the Morgue, Call Northside 777, "Bell, Book and Candle", Mr. Mulliner, Special Unit 2, The Quincunx of Time, Baal (of Renée Dunan's 1924 novel), Female Vampire (1975 Film), Doctor Omega (a Doctor Who pastiche), The Adventures of a Parisian Aeronaut in the Unknown Worlds, C. Auguste Dupin, Fantômas, The Merkabah Rider, Quantum Leap, Monk (TV Series), The Manitou (film), Simon of Gitta, Meaner than Hell, Kull, Conan the Barbarian, Steve Harrison, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Kung Fu, Indiana Jones, Batman, Something Wicked This Way Comes, House II: The Second Story, Winchester '73, The Quick and the Dead, Hombre, The Lone Ranger, The Pearl of Death, House of Horrors, The Brute Man, John Kirowan, Bran Mak Morn, Carmilla, World of Watches, Nosferatu, Underworld, Black Sunday, The Vampire Chronicles, Vampire City, The Black Coats, The Island of Doctor Moreau, The Most Dangerous Game, The Vampyre (1819), The Count of Monte Cristo, Tombs of the Blind Dead, Lord Peter Wimsey, Waldemar Daninsky, Curse of the Crimson Altar, Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter, P. G. Wodehouse's Works, Viy, The Mummy (1932), Harry Dickenson, The Spider, Varney the Vampire, The Simpsons, Hellraiser/The Hellbound Heart, The Master Mind of Mars (part of Edgar Rice Burrough’s Mars series), The Wandering Jew’s Daughter, Spiridon the Mute, Caballistics Inc., Foucault’s Pendulum, Delta Green, Zenith, Doomatch, John Silence, The Ghosts of Motley Halll, Quatermass, Coronation Street, The Tomorrow People, The Omen, Ace of Wands, The Omega Factor, Catweazle, Resident Evil, Mission: Impossible, Journey to the Center of the Earth, North Sea Hijack, The Saint, The Man Who Haunted Himself, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Deacon Chalk, X-Men, Orlando Furioso, Athurian Mythos, and She: A History of Adventure. Buffy and Angel also have two products that show up regularly in fiction.

One is Sugar Bombs or Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, which appear in Calvin and Hobbes, Marvel’s Runaways (featuring Nico Minoru, Karolina Dean, Chase Stein, Gert Yorkes, Molly Hayes, Old Lace, Xavin. Victor Mancha, and The Swarm), and The Incredibles 2. They also show up in the videogame series Fallout, but that is most likely an alternate universe. Morley Cigarettes are the other product that has a good travel life, enough to have its own Wikipedia Page. As such, I’ll only mention a few notable cases: Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead, Murder in the First, Platoon, Psycho (1960), The World’s End (2013), 24, American Horror Story “Birth”, The Americans, Beverly Hills 90210 (1990s series), Burn Notice, Californication, Cold Case, Criminal Minds, CSI: NY, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Dick Van Dyke Show, ER, Everybody Hates Chris, Friends, Heroes, Jake 2.0, Judging Amy, Justified, Lost, Malcolm in the Middle, Medium, Millennium, Mission: Impossible (TV Series), Nash Bridges, NCIS, New Amsterdam, Orange is the New Black, Pushing Daisies, Reaper, Seinfeld, Space: Above and Beyond, The Strain, That 70s Show, The Walking Dead, Twin Peaks, Warehouse 13, Weeds, System Shock 2, and The Twilight Zone “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”. Obviously, some of these would be alternate universes. Finally, there are two notable parody examples to bring up: Vampirella vs. Fluffy. Vampirella has had a LOT of crossovers, so she’s one step removed from Buffy at best, ergo, they probably met and given the tone of the comic, Vampi did not leave too happy with Buffy’s remarks about her outfit, or Willow. Big Wolf on Campus actually provides a rather respectful crossover, and all things considered, the title character likely met Faith before she came to Sunnydale if taken as a proper crossover. Totaling things up, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and Angel) have had 10 nods to the Cthulhu Mythos, 7 crossovers with Dracula, 5 with Frankenstein and Sherlock Holmes, 4 with Ghostbusters, and 3 with Doc Savage, Solomon Kane, Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, The X-Files, and Hellboy. And all that from just Buffy and Angel. Can you imagine what you find when you got a link further than that? Or two links? Six?

To give a hint: The Mythos can add over 200 works, Dracula 160+, 79 from Frankenstein, 17 from Ghostbusters, 24 from Hellboy, 29 from Evil Dead, and 51 from The X-Files. There is a lot of overlap, of course, but it still sets a good idea of just how big this world is. Now, all Buffy needs is a crossover with Batman, and she’ll have hit the all the major crossover series. Edit: Updated with Crossovers Volume 3.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG #Crossover Universe #Angel #List #World Building

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tsfilmspoint · 4 years ago

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HARD CANDY

今天聊一部有關交友網站陷阱的電影水果硬糖

網路聊天室內，一名化名“ Thonggrrrl”的年輕女孩被另一名號稱“ Lensman”的男子搭訕，對話內容十分曖昧，女孩在這名男性網友的誘導下答應見面。當化名“ Lensman”的中年攝影師Jeff見到網路上的“ Thonggrrrl” 14歲女孩海莉（Hayley），就被她稚嫩的氣質所吸引，更進一步引誘海莉回到他豪華的洛杉磯公寓內。攝影師Jeff以溫柔的口吻，帶領海莉參觀他的豪宅，牆上懸掛的一張張年輕女孩的沙龍照，讓海莉被這位溫溫儒雅又有才華的攝影師所吸引，

攝影師又帶海莉參觀他的攝影暗房，海莉此時對攝影師十分崇拜。攝影師的魔爪也一點點伸向海莉，讓海莉當起他的模特兒，拍攝的尺度也越來越大。就在海莉身陷危險之際，攝影師在一杯screwdriver(烈酒)下肚後，感覺一陣暈眩，攝影師昏迷酥醒後，海莉搖身一變成為懲罰大野狼的小紅帽，攝影師Jeff也將為他誘拐未成年少女和拍攝裸露照片的行為，付出他意想不的到的代價。

導演 David Slade 和編劇 Brian Nelson 善長於在有��場景內創造出扣人心懸的驚悚電影，整部電影也就靠兩大演員Patrick Wilson和Ellen Page 撐起全局。攝影師Jo Willems採用柔和的光線及豐富色彩展現了一個驚悚的故事。導演和編劇隔年再度合作新作品，"30 days of night”，是一部有關小鎮中的喪屍作品，依然有不錯成績。導演也藉此作品成為暮光之城的導演，編劇也再創造另一部有限場景的驚悚片“Devil”。攝影師在拍攝此片十年後擔任電影飢餓遊戲（The Hunger Games）系列攝影師。

類似以一個場景為主拍攝成電影也不少，Hard Candy算是這類電影中十分出色的，一部類似經典作品就是由茱蒂‧福斯特(Jodie Foster)和克里斯汀·斯圖爾特(Kristen Stewart) 所主演的 Panic Room(顫慄空間). Hard Candy 故事一開始海莉就像小紅帽般一步步的進入大野狼設計好的陷阱，就如電影海報一樣，一位女孩站在一個陷阱中間，在小紅帽脫下紅色外套後，儼然成為補殺大野狼的獵人，反讓攝影師經歷不同的酷刑，這樣反轉的劇情，出乎預料。由Elliot Page 扮演的海利角色，從看似青澀單純的少女轉變成一位神經質的女性復仇者表演的十分精彩。

Hard Candy 是在網路聊天室開發初期的電影，經過10多年的網路科技發展，網路犯罪的情形非但沒有有效控制反而朝更多樣化的方式發展，這部電影是在2005年拍攝完成，故事體裁並沒有因爲時間久遠而遠離目前的現實生活，藉由社交軟體犯罪的方式仍層出不窮。現代人的生活也被分成“現實”與“網路”兩個部分，許多人因此也具有兩種不同的人格特性。網路交友也成為現代人擴大“人際關係”的一種方式，如何善用網路資源獲得有價值的訊息還是要小心去查證。Hard Candy也諷刺交友網路上相互獵捕的險惡現象，一山還有一山高，誰是那隻誤入叢林的小白兔，也只有在每個人顯露出真面目的那一刻，才曉得誰是控制全局的王者。在攝影師Jeff一段自白的對話中，揭露出網路世界並非更拉近人們之間的距離，而是發展出更多孤獨的靈魂。我們在享受網路給予生活中便利的同時，也要謹守有心人士利用網路犯罪的可能性。下次再聊。

#movie #hard candy #電影 #Ellen page #Patrick wilson #懸疑 #thriller

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krinsbez · 6 years ago

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Book Recommendations: Da Big List, Fiction Edition

Well, I said I’d do more book recs, so here we go...

(note that some of the series recs are out of date, with additional installments written since I previously updated the list)

-Devil's Cape by Rob Rogers is the single best work of superhero prose I have ever read. -The Six-Gun Tarot by R. S. Belcher, in which the unusual inhabitants of a Wild West town (a sheriff who can't die, a deputy who's the son of Coyote, a housewife who used to be an assassin, and more) fight an Eldritch Abomination. Has two sequels, The Shotgun Arcana and The Queen of Swords -"Craft Sequence" series (six books and counting, starting with either Three Parts Dead or Last First Snow, depending on whether you want to read 'em in publication or chronological order, respectively), by Max Gladstone. Set in a modern-esque fantasy world that runs on corporate necromancy and "applied theocracy", the first (in publication order) involves a junior associate in a necromancy firm having to investigate the murder of the god who powers a steampunk city. -The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison, in which the half-goblin Unfavorite son of the Elven Emperor is unexpectedly raised to the throne after his father and half-brothers die in a zeppelin crash. -Daughter of the Sword by Steve Bein, in which a Tokyo policewoman catches a case that involves a Yakuza power struggle and a trio of magic swords, with extensive flashbacks (as in, they ultimately take up about half of the book) to the history of said swords. Has a sequel, Year of the Demon, in which the heroine goes up against a cult revolving around a mask tied to the swords. Also, more flashbacks. Now has a third sequel, Disciple of the Wind; there are also a couple of eNovellas, which I haven't read. -Eifelheim by Michael Flynn, in which a Renaissance-era village in Germany interact with a group of aliens whose ship crashed nearby. -Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie, in which the last remnant of a space warship's AI seeks revenge on the ones who blew up the rest of her and...find out why they did it. Has two sequels, Ancillary Sword and Ancillary Mercy. -The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril by Paul Malmont, in which the creators of Doc Savage and The Shadow team-up with each other (and L. Ron Hubbard and someone else who is a minor spoiler) on an actual pulp adventure involving Nazi spies, a Chinese warlord, and something which is actually a BIG spoiler. Has a sequel, The Astounding, the Amazing, and the Unknown, in which Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, and L. Sprague De Camp investigate Tesla's final invention. -Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart, in which Master Li, a sage "with a slight flaw in his character", is hired by an immensely strong peasant named Number Ten Ox to investigate a mysterious plague afflicting his village in a "China that never was". Has two sequels, The Story of the Stone and Eight Skilled Gentlemen that are greatly inferior but still enjoyable. -The Kitty Norville books by Carrie Vaughn (15 books starting with Kitty and the Midnight Hour; the count includes a short-story collection and a side-novel starring a secondary character), about the host of a midnight radio show in Denver, who is also a newly turned werewolf. One night, instead of playing random music, she starts talking about the supernatural. Then vampires and other werewolves start calling in... -The Inspector Chen novels by Liz Williams (6 books starting with Snake Agent), about a police detective in a near future Singapore who investigates mysteries that require him to liaise with the Chinese versions of Hell and Heaven. -"Barsoom" series by Edgar Rice Burroughs (11 books, starting with A Princess of Mars): The ur-text of the Planetary Romance sub-genre, one of the definitional texts of soft SF. Rollicking adventures with epic characters in a marvelously imagined world. Long story short; a Civil War vet on the verge of death is astrally projected to not-yet-dead Mars, befriends a group of warlike natives, falls in love with the Princess of another, and turns the whole planet upside down in the name of love. Then he has kids... -"Lensman" series by E. E. "Doc" Smith (6 books; starting with either Triplanetary or Galactic Patrol, depending on your preferences): The granddaddy of all Space Operas, a triumphant example of power creep. The forces of Order and Chaos war for the fate of the universe, using the ultimate police force and an army of space pirates as proxies. -Last and First Men by Olaf Stapledon: An exploration of the future evolution of mankind. Starting in the '30s with the then-current state of the "First Men" (that is to say, Homo sapiens sapiens) until the extinction of the "Last Men" millions of years hence. Redefines epic scope. -Star-Maker by Olaf Stapledon: A companion of sorts to Last and First Men, except with with the scope turned up to eleven, covering billions of years and the entire universe. -Slan by A. E. Van Vogt: Jommy Cross is a Slan, an evolved human possessed of superior physical and mental abilities. Years ago, the Slans took over the world, but their regime was overthrown and now the Slans are hunted. When Jommy's parents are killed, he must learn to survive in a world that hates and fears him...or does it? Jampacked with twists and turns, not to mention being the archetypical "mutant hunt" novel. -Voyage of the Space Beagle by A. E. Van Vogt: The best and brightest of man's scientific minds have been sent into space to explore strange new worlds, and then figure out how to keep the life-forms they encounter from killing them. A rip-roaring tale of of space exploration, alien monsters, and an omnicompetent protagonist. Not only was it a major influence on Star Trek, one episode is the basis for Alien. -"Demon Princes" series by Jack Vance (5 books starting with The Star King): Years ago, the five most dangerous criminals in the known universe joined together to murder or enslave the inhabitants of a small colony. Now the sole survivor is hunting them down one-by-one across the galaxy... The narrative is a great combination of action and mystery, and the setting is full of all manner of interesting worlds and civilizations. -"Planet of Adventure" series by Jack Vance (4 books, starting with City of the Chasch): An Earthman crash-lands on a planet inhabited by four alien species, and the humans they've enslaved, travels the world to find a way home. A marvelous exploration of the concept of Blue-And-Orange Morality. -"Sector General" series by James White (12 books, starting with Hospital Station): Life aboard a massive, multi-species hospital space station in a deeply idealistic 'verse with one of the most diverse bunch of aliens ever devised. The first six books are mostly collections of short stories featuring medical mysteries solved by Dr. Conway (the primary exception is the second book, which is mostly a novella set against the backdrop of an interstellar war and brilliantly inverts the "Hard Man Making Hard Decisions" trope), as he goes from being a trainee to one of the hospital's elite, while the latter six are novels featuring an assortment of characters. -"Cobra" series by Timothy Zahn (9 books and counting, starting with Cobra): A multi-generational tale of super-soldiers in war and peace, with a healthy helping of interstellar diplomacy. A really interesting take on MilSF, where out-of-the-box thinking takes center stage. -"Quadrail" series by Timothy Zahn (5 books, starting with Night Train To Rigel): Frank Compton, former agent of the human government, finds himself working for the mysterious aliens who run the local 'verse's sole form of interstellar travel; a train in space called the Quadrail. Intrigue, action, and plot twists abound, including one of the best Heel Face Turns I have ever encountered. -"Stainless Steel Rat" series by Harry Harrison (11 books, starting with The Stainless Steel Rat, and one short story, which can be found in the collection Stainless Steel Visions). In a far future where mankind has spread across the stars, crime has been eliminated. Well, that's what the authorities would like you to believe; in truth there are still a small handful of individuals maladjusted enough to commit crimes and smart enough to get away with them. James Bolivar "Slippery Jim" Digriz, the Stainless Steel Rat, may be the smartest of them all, a white collar thief and con artist who's almost pathological disregard for law and authority is balanced by a surprisingly strong moral code. Which is why when he is finally caught, the authorities put him to work catching criminals who lack those morals. This is classic SF comedy, with a surprising amount of pathos at points. -"The Parasol Protectorate" series by Gail Carriger (five books, starting with Soulless). A humorous and exciting tale of love, intrigue, mad scientists, and fashion in an alternate Victorian era where the British Empire's power derives from steampunk technology, werewolf soldiers, and vampire politicians. Has a sequel series, "The Custard Protocol" (3 books and counting, starting with Prudence) revolving around the daughter of the original protagonist. Has a YA prequel spinoff, "Finishing School" (4 books, starting with Ettiquette and Espionage) revolving around a teenager who is recruited by a boarding school that trains spies. There are, in addition, a manga adaptation of the first couple books. -Ports of Call by Jack Vance. Myron Tany has always dreamed of traveling the Gaean Reach. When his eccentric aunt acquires a spaceship, it seems his dream has come true...until she ends up marooning him on random planet. Fortunately, Myron is able to obtain a position as supercargo aboard the merchant ship Glicca. The story does not really have a plot per se, consisting primarily of a series of marvelous picaresque vignettes as Myron and his crew-mates travel to different worlds delivering cargo, trying to acquire additional cargo, and periodically running afoul of bizarre local customs. The book just kinda stops at one point, and resumes in a second book, entitled Lurulu. I'm not really describing this well, but they're both very fun, beautifully written books. -The Green and the Gray by Timothy Zahn. A night on the town for a young New York couple takes a turn for the weird when they are forced, at gunpoint, to take custody of a 12-year old girl. They soon find themselves enmeshed in a secret Cold War between two alien races that have secretly been living in the city for generations...a Cold War that is threatening to turn hot. -The Rook by Daniel O'Malley. A young woman awakens surrounded by corpses with no memory of who she is. In her pocket is a letter from her pre-amnesia self, one Myfanwy Thomas. It seems that Myfanwy was a senior bureaucrat for the covert organization in charge of controlling magic and other such weirdness in Britain, and that her amnesiac state is something that was done to her. Myfanwy must therefore investigate the mystery of precisely who that is, while simultaneously do a job about which she knows nothing, without letting anyone realize what's happened to her. Ha a sequel, Stiletto, though I cannot explain the plot without spoiling the previous book. -Throne of the Crescent Moon by Saladin Ahmed. A tale in which an elderly demon-hunting cleric and his paladin assistant team-up with a shape-shifting barbarian girl and husband and wife alchemists to prevent an undead villain unleash an ancient evil, while trying not get involved between the conflict between the tyrannical ruler of their city and a gentleman thief-turned-revolutionary. Did I mention that the cleric's spells invoke the name of Allah, the paladin is a dervish, the barbarian is a Bedouin, and the whole setting draws it's cues not from Tolkien but the Arabian Nights? -"White Trash Zombie" by Diana Rowland (6 books and counting, starting with My Life As a White Trash Zombie). Angel Crawford is an unemployed high school dropout in rural Louisiana with a deadbeat dad, an asshole boyfriend, a drug habit, and no future. After one particularly wild night of drinking and drugging, she gets into a devastating car accident...and wakes up in the hospital without a scratch on her to find that an unknown benefactor has arranged for her to have a job at the Coroner's Office. Which is good because she now has a hankering for brains... -Under the Moons of Mars: New Adventures on Barsoom edited by John Joseph Adams. Exactly what is says on the tin, a collection of original stories set on Barsoom by an assortment of writers. As with any anthology, quality is a bit uneven; some of the stories are excellent Original Flavor pastiches, some are deconstructions or parodies, one or two are just bad. But all in all a great collection. -Worlds of Edgar Rice Burroughs edited by Mike Resnick and Robert T. Garcia. Same basic idea, but for the entire Burroughs oevure, including some of his non-SFnal work. -"Winter of the World" series by Michael Scott Rohan (two trilogies, the first starting with The Anvil of Ice, the second place taking place before the first and in another part of the world, and which I haven't been able to get my hands on ), an epic fantasy taking place against the backdrop of an Ice Age, in which a young man rises from slavery to become the most powerful smith-cum-magician the world has ever known, and together with some companions fights to defeat the sinister primal forces that wish to cover the world in glaciers forever. Much less generic than it sounds, even without going into the appendixes which reveal the real(ish) science behind quite a bit of the magic. -"Spiral Arm" series by Michael Flynn (4 books, starting with The January Dancer). Moderately Irish-flavored space opera, the first book tells the tale of of how a random space captain found a pre-human artifact, of the various hands said artifact passed into, and the conflicts that sprung up in it's wake. The second book turns the first's framing sequence into an epic of it's own, as a young bard hunts down the truth of her parentage. The series notably involves massive retcons with each volume, revealing that what we thought was going on was actually something else, but does so in a way that's compelling rather than irritating. -Dr. Jay Hosler is an entomologist who has written four edutational graphic novels for children (Clan Apis, The Sandwalk Adventures, Optical Allusions, and Last of the Sandwalkers). I've read three and they are amazing. In Clan Apis, a young honeybee desperately searches for her place in the hive, and ultimately finds an unorthodox solution. In The Sandwalk Adventures, an elderly Charles Darwin tries to convince a follicle mite living in his eyebrow that he's not God, by teaching him about evolution. In Last of the Sandwalkers (no relation)...honestly, the story contains so much epic awesomeness, I just want to list it, but it's all spoilers; suffice to say that the title character is A: a beetle, B: could give Sam Carter and Agatha Heterodyne a run for their money in the mad science department, and C: leads an expedition to explore the unknown and along the way discovers truths about her family and the nature of her people's civilization that some people really don't want her to (also you learn stuff about beetles). -Nightwise by R. S. Belcher. Years ago, Laytham Ballard was the Golden Boy of the occult underworld sub-culture. That was a LONG time ago, and no one would ever mistake Laytham for golden. But he's not so much of a bastard that he'll refuse the last request of one of his few remaining friends. What was supposed to be a simple revenge killing, however, turns out to be a lot more complicated and a lot more dangerous than Laytham ever imagined. Has a sequel, The Night Dahlia, which I have yet to read. -Brotherhood of the Wheel by R. S. Belcher. Jimmy Aussapile is an independent trucker, hauling cargo cross-country to support his pregnant wife and teenage daughter; he is also a member of a secret order descended from the Knights Templar that protects the highways of America from monsters both human and not. An encounter with a hitchhiking ghost finds him heading off on a quest, in which he joins forces with the heir apparent of monster-fighting outlaw biker gang who's military service unleashed some serious inner demons, and a State Trooper who's determination to solve a series of child abductions leads her to go rogue. Together, they must battle an ancient evil involving serial killers, human sacrifice, and Black-Eyed Kids. Note that it's loosely tied to Nightwise, in which Jimmy shows up in one scene as a minor side character; meanwhile, an off-hand reference to Laytham is made at one point in Brotherhood, and a minor plot thread in the later novel relates to a major plot thread in the earlier. They aren't even the same genre, with Nightwise being urban fantasy noir instead of horror. All in all, one doesn't have to have read one to enjoy the other,

#Book Recommendations #Book Recs #Fiction #SF #Science Fiction #Fantasy #Big List

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kayla1993-world · 3 years ago

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NEW YORK (AP) — Patrick Demarchelier, the French-born photographer known for his high fashion images of top models and celebrities, including Princess Diana, has died. He was 78.

His Instagram account broke the news of his death Thursday but offered no further details. Attempts to reach his family have been unsuccessful.

Demarchelier made a career out of luxury brand campaigns, including those for Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Dior, and worked for Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Elle and other top fashion magazines. He began shooting Diana in 1989 and continued as her personal photographer until the early '90s.

He also put out books of photography, worked on the Pirelli calendar, enjoyed cameos in “Sex & the City" and the film “The September Issue,” and had stints on “America’s Next Top Model.” They immortalized him in “The Devil Wears Prada,” when Anne Hathaway's clueless Andy Sachs does not know who he is, later telling boss Miranda Priestly, “I have Patrick" before transferring his call.

Known to work quickly and on instinct, the self-taught Demarchelier first shot for Vogue in 1975, before moving to New York from Paris.

By 2018, it heavily damaged his reputation after The Boston Globe reported accusations of sexual misconduct by 50 models. He denied any wrongdoing, but Vogue and other publications cut him off. He was among several photographers accused amid the #MeToo movement.

The lensman didn't just work in the fashion industry. He shot Janet Jackson's topless cover for Rolling Stone in 1993, her breasts covered by the hands of then-boyfriend Rene Elizondo. He trained his lens on Madonna in an iconic 1990 image of the star in a bejeweled bustier and again in leather, a cigarette dangling from her lips, during her “Justify My Love” days. And he captured Britney Spears repeatedly.

His work with Diana as the first non-British photographer hired took him to a new level. The French Ministry of Culture named Demarchelier an officer dans l’ordre des arts et des lettres in 2007, the same year that he received the CFDA Founder’s Award in Honor of Eleanor Lambert.

Demarchelier began shooting as a teen in Le Havre, Normandy. He moved to New York in his early 30s, working on ad campaigns. His career exploded in the U.S. as his reputation spread. He shot for major designers like Tommy Hilfiger and Vera Wang, and he worked for beauty companies and non-luxury brands like H&M.

Social media condolences flooded in when word of his death spread. Supermodel Amber Valletta posted: “He is fashion history and legendary photography. We will miss him.”

They survived DeMarchelier by his wife, Mia, sons Gustaf, Arthur and Victor, and three grandchildren.

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thrututchteyes · 5 years ago

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2020 - THE WINTER THAT STAYED . I've got mad love for this brother, UK Actor MALACHI KIRBY with his chill exterior & purpose-fired interior! One of the best actors/best humans I've ever come across. Can’t say enough about this guy (plus I need room for all the creds below.) A longtime pillar in London's state and screen acting community, Malachi made his US debut in 2016 with a brilliant, soul-wrenching, criticially-lauded performance as Kunte Kinte in the ROOTS miniseries, Since then, his UK-based career Highlights have been: a critically acclaimed stage performance in London’s West End, a starring role in a disturbing episode of Black Mirror, and a lead in last year’s high octane street race drama series "Curfew." His new series with Patrick Dempsey, DEVILS, an Italian spy thriller set in the international investment banking world, dropped in Italian & UK markets last month (coming soon to the USA.) Mr. Kirby has also impressively stepped into the playwright role with his world premiere gritty urban joint, “Level Up” set to open in London’s famed West End. (currently Covid-delayed along with all West End shows.) . But this brother never rests on his props. 2021 will bring us his recently completed pressure-cooker-f-a-film "Boiling Point," set in a restaurant kitchen, He's currently filming a new miniseries written and directed by “12 Years a Slave” helmer Steve McQueen. This @bbcone series, “Small Axe” is set in London’s West Indian community in the 80s and pairs Malachi, for the first time, with his fellow @Identitydrama_ classmates & fellow superstars @JohnBoyega & @Letitiawright. . This winterized entry in this weekend’s series is designed from a 2019 shot by Seventh Production lensman @arvedphoot for @1883magazine. Styling by @sayuri_bloom, grooming by @chan.p . Check out the preceding post to see whats behind this 6 Winter Chill series. . @iamMalachiKirby @Identitydrama_ @TuTchTig @MrFemiOguns #TuTchT #TuTchTIMAGING #ThruTuTchTEyes #MalachiKirby #TheWinterThatStayed #SaferAtHome #WinterChill #TuTchTActorPortraits #IdentitySchoolofDrama #IdentityAgencyGroup #SeasonofSheltering #Covid19 #LevelUP #MalachiKirbyTuTchT #2020TheWinterThat https://www.instagram.com/p/B_-yAMXFfbB/?igshid=1q2tvtywzfnzh

#tutcht #tutchtimaging #thrututchteyes #malachikirby #thewinterthatstayed #saferathome #winterchill #tutchtactorportraits #identityschoolofdrama #identityagencygroup #seasonofsheltering #covid19 #levelup #malachikirbytutcht #2020thewinterthat

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wikitopx · 5 years ago

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Cairns could be a community of fewer than a hundred and seventy,000 individuals within the North of Queensland.

In conjunction with the Uluru within the red center of Australia, Cairns has become the representative location for guests trying to find that mind-blowing natural indweller expertise. Most tourists use Cairns as a base for his or her nice coral reef and Daintree adventures. You guys understand ME by currently, I’m bold and that I resolve the epic spots you wish to visualize. This area unit my prime thing to try to do in Cairns, Australia!

[toc]

1. Babinda Boulders

Even once considering all of the epic things to try and do in Cairns, the Babinda Boulders is true up there on behalf of me jointly of the highlights of the trip. enclosed by lush woodland, the Babinda Boulders could be a well-liked pond for tourists and locals alike.

The water was crystal clear and alluring. I swam to the opposite aspect of the pool and explored the woodland, unsteady across a little family of turtles resting on a log.

This is an area you wish to hold out at for a minimum of 0.5 each day. Bring down lunch or a picnic and extremely explore this gem of a spot. ensure to watch out for this. it absolutely was therefore robust I had to enter at the highest of the pool simply to create it across in time and that I am an honest swimmer!

I sent the drone up simply to indicate you guys however clear this pool extremely is! ensure you walk around the corner to examine out Devil’s Pool, that is next on the list below!

2. Devil’s Pool

The crystal clear waters of Babinda Creek flow through the Boulders and eventually spill over into Devil’s Pool. On the day I looked out over Devil’s Pool it was carnage. I didn’t even consider touching the water.

It was beautiful watching the raw power of the water as it spilled down into each pool, one after another at one of Cairns's most popular attractions.

However, during times of less rain, the pools are actually a popular spot to jump in for a dip. There are some weird stories surrounding Devil’s Pool. The story goes that there is a spirit of a woman, Oolana, at the bottom of the pool luring young men to their death.

The tale originated after Oolana threw herself into the pool after being separated from her love. 17 deaths have occurred at Devil’s Pool, therefore proceed with extreme caution.

3. Josephine Falls

One of the foremost outstanding things regarding Tropical North Queensland is that even once you aren’t at the beach you'll be able to get on the beach. What I mean by this is often that once you sit down on the banks and appearance up at the epic Josephine Falls you'll be able to sit on the sand.

These sandy banks are found all throughout the timberland and add a part of the oasis to the region. Josephine Falls was booming on the day I visited however ordinarily you'll be able to jump within the many various cascading pools for a refreshing dip within the crystal clear water!

4. Mission Beach

Halfway between Townsville and Cairns is the beautiful Mission Beach. Four beach villages square measure connected along by fourteen kilometers of golden sands. This lineation maybe a sunrise special, facing on to the east and lined with palm trees want I say additional.

We have a tendency to woke early and watched because the sun slowly rose over the ocean and at last breaking through some low cloudiness. Once the sunrise was fully swung, the palm trees shone on the coast.

There square measure many things to try and do in Cairns or within the close cities like Mission Beach, that is simply a brief dispel.

5. White Water Rafting on Tully River

The Tully River is one of Australia’s best rafting locations and makes the perfect full-day activity for adrenaline-seekers. Grade 3-4 level rapids test your skills as your journey through the rainforest. In between the fast-paced action you can take in the stunning scenery and enjoy the wildlife action on the banks of the river.

Prepare to get wet and wild as this adventure is not for the faint-hearted. You can join the white water rafting on Tully River from Cairns or Mission beach as we did. It definitely goes down as one of the top things to do in Cairns and this definitely one of the most exciting tours I’ve ever done.

6. Great Barrier Reef Pontoon Experience

You can’t visit Cairns while not experiencing the good Barrier Reef! It’s virtually a requirement once considering the items to try and do in Cairns!

There area unit many ways to urge out and explore the reef however one in all the foremost widespread is to require a tour with Sunlover United Nations agency sends you out on ferry bent an enormous pontoon that's loaded with all of the gear and activities.

The ferry took North American countries concerning one.5 hours to achieve the pontoon from Cairns. Once we tend to we tend tore there we might opt for activities such as: Snorkeling; Scuba-diving; Sea-Walker (crazy helmets that permit you to walk underwater); Glass bottom boat cruise; Helicopter joy rides; Waterslide.

Included within the trip area unit all of the gear ANd an epic buffet lunch and … A chopper RIDE! The pontoon expertise value concerning $350 AUD with Sunlover together with the 10-minute scenic chopper ride over the reef.

Ten minutes may appear short however it's quite enough to urge an honest perspective of however immense and unbelievable the reef is from the air. This can be one in all the must-do activities in Cairns!

7. Overnight stay on Great Barrier Reef Pontoon

Once three pm rolls around all of the pontoon guests revisit on the ferry and head back to Cairns. that's except in fact, for people who are sleeping on the pontoon! That’s right you'll sleep on the good coral reef.

The celebrities were off the charts once I wakened at three am and explored to the sky. additional stars than black. It pays to be far from those town lights.

The beauty of the nightlong keep is it’s simply you and a couple of mates on a pontoon engineered for 100-200 individuals. There aren't any crowds or busy tourists searching for their children.

It’s wholly chill and you'll very get pleasure from the reef expertise at a way slower pace. I’m therefore stoked I got the chance to be out there with our chill very little crew, skin diving at our leisure at one among the foremost distinctive Cairns attractions. it had been one among my favorite things to try to do in Cairns that’s for sure!

8. Helicopter over Great Barrier Reef

The celebrities were off the charts once I wakened at three am and explored to the sky. additional stars than black. It pays to be far from those town lights.

The beauty of the nightlong keep is it’s simply you and a couple of mates on a pontoon engineered for 100-200 individuals. There aren't any crowds or busy tourists searching for their children. It’s wholly chill and you'll very get pleasure from the reef expertise at a way slower pace.

I’m therefore stoked I got the chance to be out there with our chill very little crew, skin diving at our leisure at one among the foremost distinctive Cairns attractions. it had been one among my favorite things to try to do in Cairns that’s for sure!

9. Rainforest Skyrail

The rainforests of north Queensland are the oldest rainforests within the world and later on ar on the planet Heritage List. This implausibly numerous system is therefore giant it’s exhausting to understand whereas walking through the forest. The solution? The timber Skyrail.

I’m a giant fan of the Skyrail system. we have a tendency to hopped into a tiny low cabin with a glass-bottom floor, that created it straightforward for the USA to visualize the timber below.

There we have a tendency tore multiple stops on the approach wherever we might hop off and luxuriate in the tree-canopy boardwalks to induce a mid-level look into the timber. this can be extremely immersive expertise supplying you with AN insight into all levels of the forest with least work for that hike dislike adventurers.

10. Daintree Rainforest River Cruise

This was the foremost stunning activity of the trip. I assumed it'd be a calming cruise with not an excessive amount of action however boy was I wrong. we tend to hop into our little watercourse cruiser, grabbed a combine of binoculars and tuned into our veteran guide, Ian ‘Sauce‘ Worcester.

Ian just about created the tour is sweet because it was with some facilitate from the native life. He has been running tours for many years, is an ardent bird-watcher, lensman and has the most effective eyes of any human I’ve ever met!

The guy would spot a croc hidden deep within the mangroves as our boat was cruising past. once he came back to indicate the U.S. wherever it absolutely was we tend to all spent 5 minutes making an attempt to identify it till our eyes finally caught on.

He noticed it whereas the boat was moving, whereas he was driving. Ian is the king. As if I wasn’t affected enough he later noticed a caprimulgiform bird, that is notoriously sensible at being invisible.

He noticed this caprimulgiform bird Associate in Nursingd it honestly took Pine Tree State ciao to search out the bird as he with patience pointed directly at it for what was an embarrassingly long few minutes.

More ideals for you: Top 10 things to do in Woodlands, Texas

From : https://wikitopx.com/travel/top-10-things-to-do-in-cairns-705271.html

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bloodyvenomboy · 5 months ago

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The Lensman Devil and one of his favorite muses His pretty little songbird Sylvie belongs to my wuv @quiescentlunacy

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officialgagansingh · 6 years ago

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“I am Tugging And Struggling With The Devil”🔺 Lensman: @sushantsk07 #artist #actor #dreamer #magic #traveller #dark #blessed #illuminati #positivevibes #wovian #jedi #starbharat #love #starplus #zeetv #vishkanya #vishkanyaforzeetv #gagan #gagansingh #officialgagansingh #mayavimaling #maling #zara #zaraman #loner #thesecret #bombaydiaries #iphoneography #iphone7plus #iphone (at Akse Beach Mumbai)

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grizzlefur · 7 years ago

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WWEm - More Like PerestroiKO

Broadcast date: Monday 11/Tuesday 12 September 2017

Brought to you by the function 3x+6 and the cuneiform logogram DIĜIR, this is MONDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

(should have done this earlier, fell asleep, so sue me)

and we're starting with a moment of silence

christ, yeah, it's the 9/11 episode

fun and jokes on my blog today

oh, and a sombre text crawl

great

someone breaks the silence with a woo, usa chants begin

i get the feeling i'm gonna be sighing at america a lot tonight

oh hey, and apparently brock's gonna be here tonight

woooo

and cena/strowman, which should be fun

but for now, here comes the opposite of fun

in the form of roman reigns

oh, and apparently he's fighting jason

good way to get jj over as a face, i guess

he enters, the crowd goes tepid

recap of cena/jordan from last week

that was a good match

and video of the less-good smacktalk session following that match

so now roman gets to put his money where his shit is

if roman loses this, i just want cena to turn up and laugh for ten minutes straight

oh hey, pan out to cena watching the match

preliminary scuffling, punctuated by roman perfecting his scorn laugh

and getting punched in his smug face

booker is getting very excited about roman

well, i guess someone has to

roman cocks his fist, goes for it, jj reverse into a crossface because seriously, fuck that face

pan out again to cena looking deeply dissatisfied

truly, a man of the people

that's what we all look like when roman's winning things

okay, i hate roman reigns and all the things he does, but even i have to admit that samoan drop counter was pretty sweet

but now we're back to jj suplexing him to the underworld, so all is good

corey claims jj is "driven by failure"

truly, the next great renewable energy source

booker magnanimously agrees to stop calling jason a rookie, despite the bit where he was nxt and smackdown tag champ

jason exposes his shoulders (his other fuel source), hits the rolling double northern lights for a nearfall

then crossface for a near finish

booker sarcastically calls jj "what [roman] calls a rookie"

you were calling him that THREE FUCKING MINUTES AGO, YOU COLOSSAL WANKSPONGE

roman bullfights jj really hard into the post, superman punch, goes oooooo, spear for the pin

pan out to cena looking begrudgingly impressed

tense faceoff

roman gives jj the handshake

that'll do, pig

pan out again, and now charly is there

asks cena for his thoughts, he's just like i'm gonna go out there and tell him myself

after this total bellas ad

he didn't say that last part, but i know he understands the value of his wife's brand

(wait, are they marrried yet?)

cena drops his towel on the stage, camera focuses on it for a weirdly long time

forgoes his run to the ring to do a thug strut instead

clearly the camera guy needs to work on their cardio

cena appreciates that

thoughtfully gets two mics before getting into the ring

throws roman one with a comment about his fashion sense

asks for his thoughts, suggests some helpful catchphrases so he doesn't have to talk too long

roman claims to have had more good matches in two years than cena has in his career

cena's just like dude, seriously, stop talking, you're burying yourself

calls him a one-man human centipede

keep it pg, john

cena challenges himself every day to try everything

take that as you will

cena gets up in roman's face about how he's shat the bed on every opportunity available

not inaccurate

roman calls him a bitch

devastating comeback

roman claims to be solely responsible for raw's ticket sales

paul heyman's like um

disparages cena's hollywood aspirations, offers to introduce him to a guy

cena's like at no mercy, consider me like a drug test, you ain't getting past me

crowd goes oooooooooooh

even roman smirks

and swagger off

next up, sasha banks does a thing

after this advert for lesnar/strowman

(and if their compound couple name isn't lensman, i'll punch something)

and another one for cute kids with cancer

(and the prevention of such things)

and now that's all done with, here's sasha

in an even nicer jacket than usual

fighting emma, who doesn't get an intro this time

siiiiiigh

i mean, i hate her new music, but still

oh, and alexa's materialised on announce

and inside the ring, emma has 100% stolen alexa's iron man gear

first the music, then the space cop gear

where will it end

oh hey, here comes nia

who gets her full intro despite being in street clothes and there being a fucking match in progress

cut to ads, and when we get back nia's got a seat on announce too

like oh hey guys don't mind me

oh, there's still a match happening

who knew

wow, this is tepid as fuck

like, i love all four of these, but they're still conspiring to make this segment so dull

and bank statement from nowhere for the tap

so yeah, that happened

still optimistic for the four-way, though

and not just because the fallout from that would be the perfect moment to debut asuka

but now, let's have an overdramatic recap package of braun/show coming out of their cage

(and feeling just fine)

(yeah, i stole that joke, but it's perfect, so fuck off)

apparently show got injured

so, yknow, swings and roundabouts

(and we all know i can get away with that because a) it's almost definitely a work, and b) it's the big show)

brock up next

greeeeeeat

after this advert for smackdown, now with 100% more mcmahonity

oh wait, shane got suspended

so i guess the number stays the same

just been shot with a mad science aging ray

anyway, yeah, brock is here

which is why i'm distracting myself with jokes about the mathematics of mcmahons

(mcmahoths?)

paul continues to get mad pops by saying his name and listing adjectives

paul's just like i'm meant to be here to sell you on no mercy, but it's already generated all the hype in the world

possibly untrue

confirmed: braun's announce table origami combo sounds a lot dumber when a middle-aged accountant type describes it without the aid of video replays

paul says braun will need to rip the championship from brock's hands if he wants it

paul throws in some ufc references, because apparently people still pop for that

paul calls braun out with some enormous histrionics

and here he comes

brock tries to go straight into suplexes, gets punched in his grinning idiot face

then lands one, braun just stands up like nope

and chokeslams him

this is the shit i do like

and then running powerslam

fuck you, mr lesnar

picks up the belt so he can contemplate it for a bit, then stands on brock so he can brandish it aloft

then sarcastically puts it down on brock's chest and pats it like you just take care of my belt for a couple weeks

and swaggers off while brock lies in the ring hugging his belt

apparently tonight, we have miztv with enzo

what did we do to deserve this

but up next, bray does a thing

after cole tells us about the hurricanes

the crowd stay as classy and respectful as they ever do in a serious moment

by which i do of course mean they woo like a bunch of owls on meth

and now here comes goldust

you're not bray

although it is nice to see him actually get a match rather than just sending in his videos

ah, here's bray

doing a sermon over the tron first

continuing his crusade against people who wear face paint

bray wyatt vs icp confirmed for mania 34

booker boldly theorises that bray may be more concerned with collecting his enemies' souls rather than championships

no shit, dude

did you miss the bit where he delivered a screaming promo while anointing himself with the ashen earth from the burnt grave of the devil's sister or something

bray wins in about two minutes, doesn't even need to do the spider walk

did give goldust a chance to show off that he can still do this shit, though

bray produces a handkerchief, proceeds to scrub the paint off goldust's face to the boos of the crowd

proclaims that HE'S JUST A MAAAAAN

no shit

that paint slides right off if he fights for more than a couple minutes

finn takes offence, rushes the ring and chases bray away

bray walks slowly backwards up the ramp while giving finn uncomfortable eye contact, end thing

but now, charly interviews sheamus and cesaro

and the camera guy works very hard trying to keep the three of them in frame together

it's not really possible

apparently they're gonna leave seth and dean with punctured lungs at no mercy

seems excessive

but yeah, they're fighting the good brothers next

after this advert for the myc final

(it was great, thanks for asking)

seth and dean are on announce

dean's brought binoculars and a notepad so he can scout the competition

cole's like um dude, you know we have monitors

dean teaches seth how to use binoculars

and now they're scoring gallows and anderson on their fashion sense

and then derail the kkb's entrance by shittalking them

and then getting in a fight

and anderson and gallows can't bear to leave a good fight unjoined, so run up the ramp to brawl

gallows punches sheamus so hard his kilt falls off

security pulls them all apart, announce team are like welp guess that's a no on the match

but now, have this tapout body spray advert, featuring john cena as a presumably attractive-smelling superhero

and now you get a recap video of the team brawls we just had

cut to kurt's office, seth and dean demand a match against FUCKING EVERYONE tonight

kurt says they can have it, as long as they find two partners to even the numbers

crowd knows where this is going, immedately begins the delete chants

dean promises to find some, even if they have to go to disneyworld and bring back mickey mouse and batman

kurt clarifies that their partners do in fact have to be real people

dean shrugs like w/e man i can't tell the difference i just did a whole bunch of speed and some moss i found growing under the storm drain outside my apartment well i say apartment it's a sheet of corrugated iron against a wall under a bridge well i say wall it's a bear i knifed in a fight over half a can of special brew well at least that's what mad harry who makes it calls it anyway i don't care let's fucking GOOOOOO

(possible paraphrase)

they leave kurt to be like hmm, i guess batman would be a great partner

oh hey, here's a promo clip for asuka

confirmed for raw

but then, we all knew that was coming

pan out to nia watching it like pah

alexa appears at her elbow to be like gawd all these randos turning up in our division and our matches the fuck is wrong with people

does a spot-on emma impression

calls nia her best friend, she's immediately like ummmmmm no

alexa claims all their troubles are just because she has trouble expressing her emotions

nia's like cool let's be friends oh btw i asked kurt for a match with you next week

walks off, slow zoom on alexa's face like WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT

up next, elias has a new song, after this ad for champions

i love how they're always like OMG DEBUTING A NEW SONG

has he ever reused material

well, here he is, still shedding names like a snake with some kind of dermatological disorder

crowd are weirdly supportive, then surprised when he badmouths their city

(which turns out to be anaheim)

have they ever watched his segments before

oh, and here's kalisto

one day, elias will finish a song

i have faith

cole refers to kalisto as a lucha libre

the man is his own style

i have but moments to appreciate the rusk-style elias world tour shirt he's got before he shreds it like the new regeneration of hulk hogan

wait a second, why isn't kalisto competing in the cruiserweight decision yet?

that'd be great

anyway, he gets stomped on and neckbroken for the pin

speaking of underappreciated former nxt tag champs

but up next, jaun strowna

after another ad for smackown

and here's john again

he's found his towel again

leaves it on the announce table, because it's one of the things they're auctioning

so fair enough

cena grimaces up the ramp a bit, rips his shirt off while waiting for braun to turn up

roars into the arena, fashionably late as ever

stands in the ring pawing at the ground for a bit

wait, are we meant to be getting bullfight vibes from this?

is cena going to start sticking spears into braun's shoulders to slow him down

pan out to roman watching the match, holding a towel for some reason

braun's getting like 90% of the offense in this, and it's great

frankly, any time braun strowman dropkicks soemone, i am entirely on board with it

the crowd agree

i think they're trying to get braun heel heat here, not sure anyone gives a shit

i mean, i know it's mostly to get cena further over as a face, but still

braun's built a massive stock of goodwill off trying to murder roman reigns

they keep making a thing in this of john going for the aa but not being able to get strowman in the air

i get where they're going, but we've seen him aa big show and pick brock lesnar up with one arm

these power levels are more wildly inconsistent than dbz

cena sets up a five knuckle shuffle, braun just stands up and turns it into a spinebuster

cena gets an aa off it anyway for some reason, braun makes it out of the ring

and then hits him with the ring steps for a dq

wait, they're not treating this like it's over

are they somehow arguing that braun was just holding them when cena ran into them

i understand nothing

and then braun powerslams him onto the steps, which would be completely normal usually but causes a dq here

wait

they're playing his music

are they playing that as the medics called it off?

i have no fucking clue

charly turns up to interview roman, he says something banal that i managed to just tune out entirely

give it a few more weeks, and eventually every time he opens his mouth all i'll hear will be womp womp womp like charlie brown's teacher

but up next, miztv with enzo

sighhhhhhh

after this ad for total bellas

(also sigh)

and one for the myc final

(non-sigh)

but now, dean tries to recruit random runners into their tag team

seth's like yeahhhhhh maybe not

and then they run into dean malenko and a friend?

and decide against it

and then the hardyz

there we go

matt's being even more obviously broken than usual

and here are team miz

maryse in a bright red power suit that, as ever, i would wear the fuck out of

bo still hasn't given ariya his jacket back yet

ooh, apparently miz and maryse have an announcement

maryse is pregnant

and they're both just looking genuinely happy and it's so different to normal miz segments

so of course, miz immediately takes the opportunity to talk shit about kurt angle's parenting

starts reading a prepared speech about fatherhood, enzo cuts in with his intro

what a bellend

dressed even more than the create-a-wanker 'randomise' function than usual

claims he's just coming to celebrate with friends, makes eyes at maryse

miz just immediately tears him a new one about his lack of solo prospects

i love angry miz

just like listen dude, i understand being hated, so let me tell you: everyone fucking ~haaaaaaaaates~ you

wow, yeah, this is just miz absolutely unleashing

see, enzo, this is how you talk smack that people understand

enzo responds by shouting at him about realness

yeah, enzo, copying someone's finisher is totally a heinous act that you would never do

promises to come back to raw with the cruiserweight belt and beat miz too

miz pledges to show enzo what a real champion looks like, dedicates his victory to their unborn child

yknow, as you do

cut to ads, during which kurt agreed to the match on the grounds that once a wrestling match has been proposed, it 100% has to happen

miz's opponent immediately runs out of the ring to rant on mic for once

must be unfamiliar territory for him

miz returns the favour while mashing enzo's face into the apron

and then foolishly decides to pause to talk on mic while on the top rope

gets inevitably crotched

enzo takes the opportunity to question the baby's parentage, miztourage join in on kicking yet more shit out of him

dq sounded, miz doesn't even slightly care

but up next, the 8-man tag we all expected

ads for our other shows later, cut backstage and enzo's coughing blood and reconsidering his life choices

runs into neville, who gives an award-winning cackle and walks off

seth and dean do solo intros this time

they really need to get some kind of joint intro

what would that sound like

who could say

although i am a bit attached to BURRRRRN IT DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

match begins, i am distracted from matt hardy's shambling weirdness by his sweet-ass trousers

matt gets sheamus and cesaro on the outside, jeff does poetry in motion over the ropes because OH MY GOD AN OPPORTUNITY TO JUMP OFF A THING

i sometimes feel like matt needs to stop enabling his brother

if you thought this match would be huge and messy, you win nothing because of fucking course it is

enjoyable though

cesaro nearly stacks it off the top rope setting up for a flying uppercut/back senton combo, matt kind of flips sideways through the ropes to get the break, gets their at about a count of five to find out the ref had stopped the count at two anyway

dean manages to escape a magic killer attempt to punch gallows in the throat

seth finally hot tags in, burns everyone down

including completely no-selling anderson's attempts to interfere from outside

matt hits gallows with a twist of fate, then the hardyz intimidate the kkb away from the ring while seth and dean hit kingslayer to dirty deeds for the pin on anderson

sheamus and cesaro stand at the top of the ramp doing their thumb thing, the faces stand in the ring celebrating their actual use of tactics for once, and so we fade

i say 'we'

but as we all know, this is the blog that never sleeps

(offer not valid when i miss updates because i overslept)

so i think it's high time we rolled on some MONDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN!

oh god, it's going to include vince and his floppy swagger

fuuuuuuuuuck

daniel, queue something else instead

okay, according to daniel, our machines are timelocked and you can only change the video queue between 11:03 and 11:36

yknow, every week it becomes more and more clear to me why we get these offices for free

well, if it's gonna play anyway, let's get our down smacked and we open on the ongoing shane/kevin controversy

this remains one of the more close-to-the-bone promos in recent times

wow, this is a long recap

previously on smackdown (and assuming neither you nor anyone you know has watched it)

so yes, we're in vegas, and we're making this into an event episode because we don't have a ppv for a little while

and also because vince has sufficiently recovered from the last time he was exposed to Earth air

anyway, here's kevin

and i had forgotten how good this announce team was

kevin welcomes us to his show, reiterates his deep and abiding trauma and restraint when he didn't fight back

so now when he's sued everybody in wwe to death we're gonna get "Kevin Owens Presents: The Kevin Owens Show, starring Kevin Owens"

pledges to fire sami and make tom and byron share a suit

and cancel the fashion files

right, officially irredeemable now

calls vince out so he can talk business

foolishly calls out "Mr McMahon", so here's...dolph?

doing shane's entrance

sure, why not

kevin's like oh thank fuck a talented man who works here, i thought it was shane

lets him have the gimmick, since nobody's using it

and off he goes

kevin starts announcing more grand plans

and here's the other man who might have something to say about that

bryan just strolls into the ring like oh hey you don't actually run this show, i still exist

kevin promises bryan he'll still have a fulfilling job as a janitor on the kevin owens show

bryan hits back with a crack about kevin's weight

sighhhhh

sort it out, dude

ominously promises the imminent arrival of the vince

kevin's basically like yeah whatever -drops mic, walks off-

so yes, later tonight we have new day/usos street fight for the title, naomi/nattie for that title, and tye/aj for -that- title

and that last one is apparently up next

after this ad for cena/roman

which i just read back as 'catwoman', despite having written it myself

and now a moment as tom and corey tell us about natural disaster season

but back to the wrestles, here's aj

and a vt of the ongoing dillinger/us championship thing

here's tye, and this time they've actually synced his tron properly

bell rings, commence to UNNECESSARILY FAST WRESTLING

but then, anything to distract us all from tye's hairstyle

baron runs in, aj redirects a phenomenal forearm to hit him in the face

tye doesn't quite get the distraction pin, then fights out of a styles clash attempt to hit a really nice tye breaker

aj kicks out at 2.99994, then reverses another thing into a calf crusher for the tap

good match

like, felt short, but that's just the problem with this show only being two hours

tye hobbles to his feet, aj gives him the handshake, respect and love all around

and here comes baron to ruin everything

throws aj over the barricade, clotheselines tye, then end of days to aj on the floor

before announcing that next week, aj's opponent in the us title open challenge will be him

someone still needs to learn the meaning of 'open'

and now some woman i don't recognise interviews rusev, both of them speaking with the conviction of a hostage delivering their captor's demands

apparently bulgaria has turned its back on rusev after his failure

so now he has to kill randy to get his mojo back

or poorly-thought-out words to that effect

but up next, jinder does a thing

after a total bellas ad and a supremely tacky exterior shot of vegas, that is

here are the singhs, holding a note longer every week

and here comes the man himself, jinder mahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal

in a dark green suit/brown shirt combo that i actually kind of dig

match graphic for hiac revealed

hell in a cell 2017: this year it's METAL AS FUCK

surprisingly notable maharaja chant going there

big punjabi-canadian community in vegas, clearly

jinder promises to get inside shinsuke's head

a process that seems to consist of putting pictures of him up and laughing at them

aaaaaaand there goes the poop joke

wow

way to aim high

the singhs find this possibly dangerously funny

oh wow, calling him a michael jackson ripoff

nobody's noticed that

oh, and there's a racist stereotype

people laugh, jinder's like see, fucking americans

promises shinsuke that if he wins the belt, he too will get shat on by racists

(while being racist)

transitions into ranting in punjabi mid-sentence

cut backstage, where kevin is dictating a list of his demands as showrunner

including a limo for his buddy jimmy

oh hey, here's sami

this won't be awkward

kevin doesn't even try not to gloat

sami's like cool, whatever, literally anything will be preferable to working for you

up next, new day v usos in a sin city street fighter 3rd strike

(it's possible i should have stopped typing earlier than i did)

but first, cute kids with cancer again

and i hold myself back from being as excoriating as usual

(if you're wondering whether bottling up my pite and bitchiness like this causes me physical pain, be assured that it does)

in any case, here are the new day

only kofi and e have made it to the ring

reasonably sure xavier was there at the top of the ramp

oh, ok

they've sent him back so the usos can't say they had an advantage

seems fair

roll vt of the match we would like you to forget being the best part of summerslam

new day immediately knock the usos out of the ring and get a table

they know how to do their job, who knew

cut to ads, and suddenly e is in the corner with a chair wedged into the ropes above him for whatever reason

recaps suggest the usos put it there, so we know who it'll backfire on

oh look, e kicked one of them into it

that was quick

and then jimmy kicks it into e's face

nice spot

kofi reappears, gets his face smacked into the apron

and jimmy gets jey a kendo stick

both commence to beating on big e with it

kofi comes back, takes everyone out, gets the kendo stick

beats jimmy with it until it explodes

splinters for everyone

okay, this is moving too fast for me to narrate

basically watch the summerslam kickoff match again, but add chairs

kofi just hit jimmy in the face with a chair about six dfferent ways, then threw it at him

and then got thrown into the barricade anyway in the ugliest bump of the night

this enrages big e, who proceeds to murder jey

jey's shirt is getting destroyed, providing a handy visual identifier e splashes both of them, dances instead of going for the pin

jimmy superkicks him, he doesn't give a shit, big ending for the nearfall and then e takes a double superkick anyway

set up for a double splash, kofi kicks jey off the turnbuckle and through chekhov's table

and midnight hour for the pin

much tromboning and joviality

shot of daniel arguing with a runner backstage

graphic for naomi/nattie, during which corey completely forgets how to english

shots of the press carpet for the myc, mostly just reminding me how good steph's outfit was

oh, and ronda rousey's here tonight

oh right, we're in the women's match now

no better way to show the legitimacy and importance of your women's division than by depriving their title match of intros

naomi's got cool new gear though

and carmella's on announce

with ellsworth on a leash

because of course

all bullshit aside, this is a good match

p sure i know who wins because of video thumbnails, but we shall see

-puts in an alarm for 11:05 to change those settings-

naomi casually scorpion kicks nattie in the face like it ain't no thang nattie gets knocked out of the ring, carmella takes the opportunity to front at her with her briefcase

aaaaaand naomi planchas her and ellsworth

and nattie gets a sharpshooter off the distraction for the tap

so yeah, the outcome i expected

so that's three really good title matches down, but of course our main event will be the corporate disciplinary hearing

kevin walks in on aiden practising his opera, offers him a job singing the theme song to the kevin owens show

he freestyles something, kevin is pleased

really, i'm looking forward to this grand restructuring

more like perestroiKO

and now here's dolph

with his own entrance for once

claiming to be the single best performer in wwe history

wait, is this whole rejection of gimmicks gimmick because kfc dropped him?

has a rant, walks off, comes back as bayley

gives up halfway through after the crowd are super into it, bunches a bayley buddy

has another rant, walks off again

and now he's the ultimate warrior

this is not gonna go down well with a lot of people

has dolph just spent a lot of time on the create-an-entrance tool in 2k17?

"So this is what it's come to"

dude, warrior was around like thirty years ago

how is this new

has another rant about how no-one can do what he can and how nobody cares

throws the mic at the announce table, stomps out of the ring as it goes WHONK

somewhat ruined the moment, tbh

who am i kidding, there wasn't a moment, it was dolph ziggler

back to the ring, and someone's cleared away the dead inflatables, so here are the hype bros

to be fed to alpha 2.0

now in beta

shelton makes an impression by dragon screwing mojo through about three laws of physics

counters a rough ryder into a lovely delayed spinebuster, powerbomb-cutter combo for the pin

nearly stymied by shelton thinking chad's arms were longer than they were

learn to tag, guys

mojo shakes hands and hugs them, zack stomps off

i smell plot

but up next, oh fuck vince is here where do we keep the spirits

daniel has responded to that question with a drawing of a magnet and what i'm reasonably sure is a swarm of hornets

guess that answers that question

so yeah, one myc ad later, kevin's in ring

and here comes vince

ain't nobody got swag this floppy

and what a delightful grey/green plaid suit

(disclaimer for text: that was sarcasm, it's fucking awful)

kevin launches straight into it with a thing about how vince must be intimidated by him

a spirit long-sealed at the bottom of a dry well replies

or possibly that's vince's voice

hard to tell sometimes

oh, again with the body-negative cracks

and making fun of kevin for not fighting back because lol cowards

i mean, i know that cowardice is the ultimate insult in wrestling, but it carries a lot of unpleasant baggage

vince promises to fire kevin if he sues the company, which i'm 100% sure breaks a whole lot of labour laws

just add 'wrongful dismissal' to that docket

vince claims to have never lost a lawsuit, i don't believe it for a second

also claims the laws of the land were written for men like him, which i can believe all day

apparently shane was suspended for not killing kevin

the fuck, vince

this is seriously the worst company anyone could ever work for

vince reinstates shane, makes a match at hiac so he can murder him properly

like, i know i read too much into wrestling, but this is tying into so much rich white male dickwad shit that it's making me deeply uncomfortable

vince agrees to give him his word that he won't have any repercussions for beating the shit out of a mcmahon

so kevin hits him in the head with a mic so he bleeds everywhere

and this is why we consider contract wording, children

ref tries ineffectually to get kevin to leave, so he just kicks vince in the stomach

and i get distracted by vince's old man socks for days

vince gets up, eats a superkick

kevin throws three refs out of the way, sets up for a frog splash

that dude in the suit whose name i always forget tries to stop him

it doesn't work

kevin walks up the ramp looking like he might have realised what he just did, steph comes out in that killer pantsuit to stare daggers at him

and we fade on an awful old man bleeding from his forehead and staggering up the ramp, supported by his daughter and that dude whose name still eludes me

so hey guys, who's hyped for the myc final?

sometimes, smackdown editing outdoes itself

(it might be scott armstrong?)

(fuck, but i'm bad at faces)

right - while this blog might never sleep, the lights go out in ten minutes, so we should probably relocate

expect another post sooner rather than later, since it's no mercy on sunday

and expect a decent outro...definitely later

#WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown #Wrestling

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