#The Doomed & Stoned Awards

[uluthrek]

au in which robert, the starks and the lannisters play monopoly instead of going hunting and pushing each other‘s kids from towers.

tyrion implements a tax system to make things more interesting and fights cersei over the cat for a solid ten minutes.

around thirty minutes into the game, catelyn realizes that she has free will and stops paying taxes.

arya and sansa haggle over new york avenue, which ends up being bought by theon. this causes the two to completely cast aside their differences, ally and subsequently start doing everything in their power to make theon‘s life hell.

theon himself is quite severely stoned the entire time throughout.

ned enters horrendous debt pretty much immediately and, after two hours of being financially sucked dry by both cersei and his tax evader of a wife, decides to just place his figurine in jail and never leave.

jon, playing the dog, controls the railroads and makes jaime, playing the ship, go completely broke within minutes. being beaten by a bastard and officially the first to lose the game makes jaime so mad he spends the rest of the evening perched on the family‘s ancestral armchair eating flaming hot cheetos and stifling sobs.

cersei is holding onto her last two dollars and her one house in atlantic avenue like a maniac and evades taxes like it‘s an olympic sport. she claims ownership of kentucky avenue on the grounds that red is her house‘s color at least twice. after three hours, she‘s consumed enough vintage red to kill a large mammal and keeps quoting the art of war. fascinatingly enough, she never goes completely broke.

robert, just as broke and drunk as his wife but not nearly as ferocious, proposes marriage for tax advantages to bran, who is in possession of the boardwalk and lets him dangle on his proposition for two rounds before accepting and feeling like a benevolent god.

sansa sees this and immediately proposes to arya, who accepts, only for them to be sued by their mother for public indecency („you‘re siblings, jesus christ!“). arya argues that this is just a game and that one could argue that robert‘s and bran‘s marital alliance is just as if not even more inappropriate, considering that bran is seven and robert thirtyseven. sansa countersues her mother for tax evasion, who promises she‘ll drop her lawsuit if her daughters let her keep hoarding perverse amounts of wealth. „love wins!“ arya says, which causes jaime, still perched on the armchair but now eating old nan‘s home made whiskey truffles, to hysterically sob. cersei stares him down.

robb, in a rare moment of almost prophetic foresight, excuses himself one hour in and goes on a very, VERY long walk with grey wind.

tyrion, whose tax system has spectacularly backfired in his face, proposes marriage to catelyn, jon and cersei in rapid succession, who all turn him down. „i wish i was the monster you think i am. i wish i had enough poison for the whole pack of you. i would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.“ he screams before he leaves the table.

at that, joffrey, who has refused to participate and instead sits on the couch playing doom on his nintendo ds, starts hysterically laughing. tyrion turns on his heel and awards his nephew with the bitchslap of the century. this causes cersei to completely abandon the game and chase after him with a broom. catelyn makes sure that everyone is distracted by the lannister antics and then reaches across the table and bags cersei‘s money and properties.

with a heavy heart, myrcella trades arya and sansa one of her limited edition bayala schleich unicorns for park place.

at this point, the game is between the tycoons that are catelyn and jon, the bran-robert alliance, the arya-sansa-alliance, and ned, who is still in jail and watching ice hockey on his phone under the table. that is when catelyn hears rickon gagging and discovers that he, in the absence of tyrion, the self declared bank manager, has managed to eat all bank notes from the box.

rickon gets his stomach pumped, cersei and tyrion have both been arrested, theon is still stoned, arya, sansa and myrcella have wandered off to go play schleich horses, and jon remains at the table, alone, content, and quietly considering himself the winner.

[darkopsiian]

Overall takes on the 2024 Game Awards:

Witcher 4 protag is a decked out badass woman with a chain whip? I will now play your game.

Borderlands 4 gameplay trailer was just as bad as I expected- and I'm 50% sure they stole the design of the Eridians from Saren Stone's OC. At least I assume those were Eridians.

FLUTE MAN RETURNS. HE'S DUAL-WIELDING INSTRUMENTS, HE'S TOO POWERFUL OH GOD-

I've never heard of Solo Leveling but now I'm reading it for big bug guy and ONLY big bug guy.

Slay the Spire 2, that was unexpected, also hell yeah.

I've never played Okami but I can feel the amount of joy radiating from the people who have, and I'm happy for them. It's about the same type of emotion I felt when they released World of Goo 2.

Holy shit Helldivers, Holy shit oh my god- Everyone in our watch party shut up and started saluting.

Aaron Paul, Critikal and Jacksepticeye are all voice actors in the same Telltale game about capturing super heroes.. what timeline is this?

Never realized how fucking tiny Todd Howard is, he's 5'6". I'm taller than Todd Howard? Also Todd appeared twice and didn't mention Doom Dark Ages in either opportunity. That was the only game I cared here. When do I get to play Army of Darkness Doomslayer, Todd. TELL ME, LITTLE MAN-

Silent Hill 2 didn't win a single award and I'm mad.. probably because nobody could afford to play the remastered.

What is Balatro- you know what doesn't matter I'm happy for em'. Yay for Indie Games!

Astro Bot won, never played the game but you know what I'm glad that a cute n' goofy game won the award for once. Reminds me of last year when Stray almost beat God of War, I yearn for that timeline it would've been so funny.

There's still no Silksong...

[low-budget-korra]

My comments on Smile 2

- One of the few times the sequel is better than the first one.

-I was already spoiled by both Joel and Skye's death so let's talk about them

Poor Joel man, he got rid of the entity just to be run over by a car 😭. It was an upsetting death but since this movie has a new character as protagonist, it was somewhat necessary. Even tho I think he could have survived idk

Poor Skye man. Also, even tho I dislike having two upsetting deaths, I appreciate the movie balls to do it.

But for the third movie, we need a survivor. Two movies, two protagonists deaths. Idk, they have to change or else why I'm gonna root for a character that's already doomed? And good luck to find a character charismatic and that deserved to live. Skye was better than the first protagonist and it's not gonna be easy to find someone better to root for.

-Can we talk about Naomi Scott, cuz she is phenomenal. It sucks that the academy and other awards don't like horror movies, especially cuz this year we had such amazing performances and Naomi truly delivers one of the top 3 of the year in horror and one of the best overall.

She is drop dead gorgeous, can sing, can dance and can act. Truly one of the most talented and overlooked from her generation.

And look at her acting career, she was a Disney Kid, a Power Ranger, a Disney Princess, a Charlie's Angels and now it is a Horror Diva. She is collecting iconic roles like if it was the infinity stones. The only ones missing are the gay role, adventure action hero and the video game adaptation.

And nothing against Sophie Turner but Naomi is a far better choice to be Lara croft, like fr

-The charity scene, I felt it on every inch of my soul. The way she just snaps and speaks the truth that is in her heart...as a traumatized person myself, that's something I always wanted to do every time I'm pushed to do something that I'm not in the best mood or something that triggers me.

The thing we wanna talk, lash out but we don't because we don't wanna hurt people and/or looked crazy.

Honestly, I almost cry sometimes cuz I really saw myself in Skye. Like, how she sees herself as the monster in other people's lives, how she sees herself as a mess that doesn't deserve anything and that everyone would be better without her

Don't worry, I'm okay. I'm medicated and with therapy in check, just if someone worries

-I kinda always wonder what it would be like if those horror movie evil entities catch a character that happens to be famous. And I'm not disappointed , what a nightmare

-The entity said it liked using Skye and all so this means the whole movie was Skye fever dreaming nightmares, locked inside her head while the entity was using her to live it's best life? Cuz that just mean.

Okay, I don't think everything was an illusion but for sure 90%

[theguildawards]

Hello guildmates!

The Nomination Period is now closed! Below the cut you will find a complete list of all the fanfiction nominations received for The Guild Awards this term! The mobile-friendly version can also be found in a Google Doc here that has the complete list!

You can find the list of all the fanart nominations here!

If you do not see your nomination, or you find issues with the links, please reach out to us as soon as possible!

We are going to give you 2 weeks time to enjoy all of the pieces nominated for this term! We strongly encourage that when you view a work of art or read a fanfiction, please reblog or leave a comment to let the creators know how much their work and talent is appreciated!

The voting period will begin April 15th and end April 29th at midnight PST!

In order to be able to vote, you will need to login. We will be posting the link to the voting form on the first day of the voting session.

Got a question? Check out our FAQ Google Doc or send us an ask!

Message one of the mods directly: @classysassy9791 @phoenix-before-the-flame @kiliinstinct @ratretro @phoneboxfairy

Thank you to everyone who nominated for making this term absolutely wonderful and happy voting!

[please reblog to help spread the love of these amazing creators!]

FANFICTION

Best Action/Adventure

“Molten Steel” by @mavikiu (tumblr/AO3)

“Branded” by @hawkofnavarre (tumblr/FFN)

Best AU/AR

“A Girl’s Mind is a Dangerous Place” by @clenastia (tumblr/AO3)

“My Little Space Oddity” by Beingwithaskillet (AO3)

“Bull In a Crystal Shop” by Buniibebe (FFN)

Best Canon

“Taming the Beast: Living Nightmare” by @dawnwynters (tumblr/AO3)

“How I Snagged Your Father” by MyFictionalFantasy (AO3)

Best Angst

“Forever” by @teleiapotami (tumblr) / Teleia_Potami (AO3)

“heartbeat on the high line” by @notsofluffyunicorn (tumblr/AO3)

“Finding Hope” by @creaticare (tumblr) / ChaoticKori (AO3)

“Waiting For the Dawn’ by Stopbeingrude12 (AO3)

"Dragon Season: Rejection" by @aki-natsuko (tumblr) / Akiko_Natsuko (AO3)

Best Dark

‘A Future Set Like Stone’ by Clenastia (AO3)

“Power of the Underworld” by @genavere (tumblr/AO3)

‘Her Touch” by LissyArt101 (AO3)

"If you asked me i would lose it all" by ObsessiveExplosion (AO3)

Best Drama

“Even the Dragon King Has Feelings” by Don_Cheadle (AO3)

"The Celestial Princess" by @subject-layla (tumblr/AO3)

Best Humor/Parody

‘Faustian Bargain’ by PoisonDragonSlayer (AO3)

“Gotta match ‘em all” by AngryGoldenMonster (AO3)

"Fairy Tail Text Fics" by @multi-verse-mania (tumblr) / Multiverse_Mania (AO3)

"The Jam Problem" by @acacia-may (tumblr) / Acacia_May (AO3)

Best Oneshot

"Storybook"  by Ilito15 (AO3)

“Once Upon a Time, Five” by @ostensiblyfunctional (tumblr/AO3)

"Reminiscing on the Hard Road" by @fairydares (tumblr/AO3)

"What Does It All Come Down To? (Love? Love)"  by @forwantofacalling (tumblr) / Fireflower34 (AO3)

Best Character Portrayal

"Storybook"  (Mavis) by Ilito15 (AO3)

"Inner Thoughts" (Natsu) by Halbarath (FFN)

"Doubt Truth to be a Liar" (Gray) by SilverSnowBlossom (AO3)

"Making Friends" (Gajeel) by FairyDell (AO3)

Best Romance

‘On Nights Like These’ by @Tokkias (tumblr/AO3)

‘Wanna Make a Bet?’ by Ssukidesu (AO3)

“Finding Forgiveness” by @teleiapotami (tumblr) / Teleia_Potami (AO3)

"All Treats, No Tricks" by Be_dazzled06 (AO3)

Best LGBTQ+ Romance 

“Every Good Thing in Life (Leads Back to You)” by allayrose (AO3)

“Groomzilla” by @sandwitchstories (tumblr/AO3)

Best Serial

"Heart Shaped World" by Myahud (AO3)

Best Ficlet

“Untitled” by @caissa-scribbles (tumblr)

Best Friendship Portrayal

“Once Upon a Time, Five” (Team Shadowgear + Gajeel) by @ostensiblyfunctional (tumblr/AO3)

“You, Me, A Fish & The Sky” (Natsu and Happy) by @therosefrontier (tumblr) / BlossomingRosebud (AO3)

“A Worried Best Friend’ (Gajeel & Juvia) by GruviaSilver (FFN)

"Your Crush Is My Love Rival" (Gray & Levy, Juvia & Gajeel) by Cathelerein (AO3) & InkuEko (AO3)

Best Completed

“The Era of Shadows and Sunshine” by RomanticHawthorn (AO3)

“FairyTale of Doom” by CrimsonStarbird (AO3)

[theholmwoodfoundation]

THE HOLMWOOD FOUNDATION PILOT EPISODE CAST/CREW - PART TWO

BECKY WRIGHT - THRALLS/PHONE VOICE

Becky voices weird things. Her speciality is small children and demons, make of that what you will... She works across every medium. She played Nic Grundy in ‘The Archers’ for 11 years and continues to appear in regularly in radio dramas on the BBC. Recent credits include: ‘You Must Listen’, ‘Car Crash’, ‘Children of The Stones’, ‘The Battersea Poltergeist’ (Bafflegab/BBC), ‘Lola vs Powerman’, ‘Making Plans with Nigel’, ‘Mythos’ (Sweet Talk/BBC), ‘Barred’ (B7 Media/BBC), ‘Billie Homeless Dies at the End’ (Holy Mountain/BBC) & ‘The Waringham Chronicles’ (Audible Originals). For Big Finish she has appeared in many episodes of ‘Dr Who’, ‘Doom’s Day’, ‘Blake’s 7’, ‘Avalon’, ‘Unit: Nemesis’, ‘The Avengers’, ‘Star Cops’ and ‘Pathfinder’.ops and development sessions for countless new writing initiatives. She has narrated numerous audiobooks and amassed a vast and varied array of weird and wonderful dubbing, animation and computer game credits. On stage she has performed for The Being Human Festival, Nutkhut, The Birmingham Rep, Wolverhampton Arena Theatre, The Bike Shed in Exeter, Hampstead Theatre, The Pleasance and The Tricycle, amongst others. She has toured open air Shakespeare and performed a rep season in a lift shaft! She is very passionate about new work and has been involved in rehearsed readings, workshops and development sessions for countless new writing initiatives.

JESSICA CARROLL - NEWSREADER

Jessica trained at LAMDA. Most recently she played Disciple Z’rell in the multi-award-winning video game Baldur’s Gate 3. Other video games include Divinity: Original Sin 2, Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire, Elex, Spellforce 3, Dragon Quest XI, Unforeseen Incidents and Code 7. Jessica also voices Darcy the Driller, Riff and Jiff in the UK version of the Thomas & Friends cartoon.  Theatre includes Fence (Finborough); Fishskin Trousers (The Park Theatre, Finborough); The Broken Token (Theatre Royal Bury St Edmunds, Lakeside, William Andrews Clark - Los Angeles); Quirks (Southwark Playhouse); Old Bag (Theatre 503); Ghosts (Battersea Arts Centre); Hellcab (Old Red Lion); Last Seen (Almeida); The Woman of No Importance (Assembly Rooms Ludlow); Taking Steps (Assembly Rooms Ludlow); Daisy Pulls It Off (Lyric Hammersmith). Film and TV includes Hotel Inferno, Polar, The Space In-Between, David & Olivia. Radio includes Life Begins at Crawley and The Future of Radio (Radio 4); The British Are Coming and Liberation Is Not A Recognised Protocol (Apple). Jessica has an extensive voiceover career in commercials, dubbing and the TV and film ADR circuit where she can be heard screaming, crying, doing the news and squawking down police radios in everything from Happy Valley to Bridget Jones.

LUKE KONDOR - ROBERT SWALES

Luke Kondor is a writer, creator, and the voice behind The Other Stories podcast, which has amassed over 12 million downloads. He was recently commissioned by the George A. Romero Foundation to write a Night of the Living Dead audio drama. Currently, he lives and works from a dining room table in the middle of Sherwood Forest. For more, visit www.lukekondor.com.

PART ONE: HERE

PART THREE: HERE

[sailtomarina]

Day 7 - Have a Cup of Cheer

Written for @hp-yuletide-bliss Day 7 - have a cup of cheer

Pansy/Neville | Rating M | Mutual pining & fluff | WC 1K

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

Pansy was quite certain that there was nothing more she could get out of tonight’s festivities aside from an ample amount of blackmail, both for others and herself. Honestly, who even thought it a good idea to socialise with coworkers like this? They were practically begging for someone to drink one party punch too many and jump up on the banquet table.

She spoke from experience, because that had been her last year.

She had it on good authority from the other professors that the punch of her doom was just as dangerous this time around, and had dutifully ignored any and all opportunities to imbibe. She’d stick to controlled sips from her single flute of champagne, thank you very much.

Two hours had passed since McGonagall’s welcoming speech. Surely, that was long enough, wasn’t it? She’d just sneak out with nobody the wiser and enjoy the rest of her evening alone in her private quarters. 

Hagrid’s laughter boomed across the hall.

Now.

A handful of steps put her up against the stone wall, where she proceeded to slide along the edge of the room as stealthily as was possible in three-inch heels she really ought not to have worn. Earlier Pansy had ideas of catching the eye of a certain wizard. 

Not that he paid her any mind standing on the absolute opposite side of the hall for the entirety of an already forgettable evening.

“Madam Parkinson, leaving so soon?”

Nearly Headless Nick’s boisterous inquiry earned him a simpering smile, one that Pansy had perfected when she was four-years-old.

“Yes, well, I’m feeling quite knackered.” She feigned a yawn, letting a tear escape for heightened effect.

“But, the night has only begun!” He looked appalled, and she couldn’t help the flare of indignation that stirred at being called out by the Gryffindor ghost. 

How dare he make it sound like she was some sort of bore, as if she hadn’t been the one to organise Slytherin’s parties back in the day? As Head of her former house, she still advised students on their events, and, to her great pride, not that she’d admit it, she was the second-most popular teacher at Hogwarts behind a certain affable Herbology professor.

A fact that rankled her now more than ever.

“Not everyone has a Saturday morning shift and the Matron to relieve in the Hospital Wing,” she replied tartly, lifting her nose despite Nearly Headless Nick floating taller than she could ever hope to reach. There was no looking down on him, but that wasn’t the point.

He refused to take the hint, blustering on as if her reasoning couldn’t measure up to a silly party for a silly holiday with silly people.

“If you go now, then you’ll miss the carols–”

Otherwise known as drunken screeching that would make a banshee cry.

“–Christmas crackers–”

Last year’s had awarded her a lying fortune about “great love,” a cheap paper crown, and Ton-Tongue Toffee she’d made the mistake of eating prior to her tabletop performance.

“–and we mustn’t forget your pomander!”

She gasped in mock horror. “Not the pomander!”

“Indeed! The kitchen elves spent hours preparing the oranges for everyone to take home with them–”

“I apologise, Sir Nicholas.” He preened at the full title. Predictable. “I really must go. I’ll be sure to inquire after my pomander with the house-elves directly.”

She retreated before he could say another word. Her goal was nearly in reach.

“Pansy?”

She froze, smoothed her expression into one of unaffected coolness, and turned around.

“Professor Longbottom.”

She could have groaned at the sight of him. Why did he have to be so, so–

“When are you going to call me ‘Neville’ like everyone else?” he asked teasingly, before taking a sip from his cup of cheer. 

His throat bobbed delightfully against the snug collar of his button-down, and she couldn’t help but trace the movement down, across the broad chest and shoulders his many hours spent in the greenhouses maintained to frustrating perfection. He could use magic to handle the manual labour, but, no, Neville Longbottom insisted on doing things the Muggle way.

How could she argue otherwise, when everything he touched bloomed and thrived?

She wanted to bloom and thrive.

“Professor Neville.” She almost smirked at his immediate need for another gulp of his beverage. “Was there something you needed from me?”

She was still feeling resentful of the way he’d kept a strategic distance until now. She’d thought, given certain words said and desires implied, tonight might be the night they finally made their feelings for one another clear.

Whatever it was he was drinking seemed to give his courage, his back straightening as he took a deep breath.

“Yes.” He opened his mouth, then paused.

She raised a brow and waited.

A choked sound escaped, at which point he flushed a vivid shade of red and snapped his mouth shut.

Disappointment threatened to claw its way out of her throat. The sounds around them roared back to full force, having at some point faded without her noticing. Now that laughter and drunken singing surrounded them once more, Pansy was well and truly ready to curl up in front of her fireplace with a generous pour of her favourite Rioja.

“Well, if that’s all, then I’ll be on my way.”

“Dance with me.”

He looked almost as shocked as she felt, the lovely hazel eyes widened and bottom lip caught in his teeth.

“What–”

“Please, do me the honour.” He set aside his empty cup and offered the same hand to her in a gentlemanly fashion. A slight tremble at the wrist gave away his nerves.

It didn’t even take her a second to consider her options. She drained the remainder of her champagne, dropped it on the tray of a passing server, and placed her hand across his. Heat flashed at the contact, and she swore she could feel her heartbeat between her legs.

Sweet Salazar, was she in trouble.

The intro to a new song began, and Pansy allowed herself to be drawn forward into Neville’s arms, his lips only one tilt of the chin away from her own.

She was glad she’d worn the heels, after all.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

Cross-posted on Tumblr, IG, & AO3

WC 1035

Kudos and comments appreciated!

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 59 – Spear by Nicola Griffith

So after loudly complaining about this year’s Hugo nominations enough, it was recommended I try using the World Fantasy Awards shortlist as a reading list instead. Spear is the first result of that – I’d never heard of either it or Griffith as an author before, but the library helpfully had a copy with only a three-week hold. It was, well – unevenly paced and characterized, often beautifully written, a setting I’ve got an enduring fondness for, a bunch of things. But at the very least I’m not confused or annoyed that anyone would nominate this for a ‘best novel of the year’ award, so beating the Hugo’s!

The book’s Arthuriana, of a mythological and Early Medieval type. Specifically, it’s a queer retelling of the story of Sir Percival (Peretur here, the book makes an attempt to use Welsh names for most. Artos and Cei and so on) intermixed with celtic mythology (the Four Treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann are stolen to be the Grail, Excalibur, the Stone the sword was in, and Peretur’s Spear). Also Peretur is a) a demigod raised from birth on soup and water drunk out of the Grail/Cauldron and b) a lesbian. The book follows her childhood, raised in the wilderness with only her mother and wildlife for company, how she eventually leaves her behind to fufil a dream of becoming one of the king’s companions, and the trials she undergoes to become accepted by them. The second half of the book then follows her falling in love with Nimune, accidentally breaking the geas that was hiding her mother and the cauldron from her father (a wrathful Tuatha Dé) the organizing of the grail quest and her, Lancelot, and Nimune going to kill her dad and retrieve the grail/cauldron. And then bury it away after lying to everyone that the queen had had a sip from it and wouldn’t be infertile anymore. Having thus doomed the kingdom, they set about enjoying their lives together.

So, queer early medieval Arthuriana retelling. Which on reflection probably seems like less of a natural/obvious combination to people who spend less time on tumblr than I do. The ‘Early Medieval’ part of that seems pretty carefully researched, and the book takes great joy in describing everyone’s panoply, situating the politics in a very specific post-Roman collapse politics and geography, and so on. In that sense reminds of Bernard Cromwell’s take on a ‘historicall’ Arthur in the same era (which I read far too young because my father had just left them lying around the house and still inform my default view of the genre.) The queerness is just presented to be taken as a given more than part of the actual plot – being a crossdressing lesbian causes Peretur exactly zero problems at any point, and Arthur/Lancelot/Guinevere are a loving polycule so actually it’s a net reduction in sexuality-related drama compared to the usual.

The basic conceit aside, the most striking thing about the book is easily the prose. It’s written in a kind of elevated, mythological or capital-R Romantic voice. There are passages that are legitimately quite beautiful, and just overall does a lot to sell the story as somewhere between chivalric romance and myth.

Otherwise – I pretty much adored the first half the book, covering our hero’s childhood and attempts to build a reputation that will earn her acceptance from the king’s court and a place at the round table. Peretur’s naivete and utter lack of understanding of politics form a nice contrast with her being, well, a superhuman demigod with magical wild empathy skills when it comes to everything else. The second half, on the other hand – I mean it just tries to pack in way too many plot points and too much lore in not nearly enough page count. The effect – one long procession of character revelations and things happening without preamble or fallout – fits the whole mythic style but, like, not in a good way.

Also since the whole happy ending is built around a central romance it’d help a lot if Nimune felt like more or a character and less of an exposition fairy. Peretur legitimately had more chemistry with Angharad-the-innkeepers-daughter from the second act. Also since it was how the book ended, the big choice to hide away the cauldron/grail and make sure neither king nor queen nor anyone else ever drinks from it is presented as this, like, considered and moral decision without ever touching on any of the massive hypocrisy inherent in it for ms. ‘grew up drinking from it every meal. But it’d corrupt and drive insane anyone else who did. For sure.’ was just deeply irksome to me.

Still, not at all a bad read. Maybe a bit style over substance, but it’s a good style and worn well.

[palior]

Awards 2024 : TV Shows

Third and last category: TV Shows that I’ve watched at least one complete season of this year.

Hellish Chorus Award - Hazbin Hotel - S1

Once More With Feelings - Part 2

Best Comedy Award - Abbott Elementary - S3

Now if only school had been just as fun as this IRL.

Nanananananinaaa Award - X-Men'97 - S1

Remember it!

Best Post-Apocalypse Award - Station Eleven - S1

There is no before.

Confounding Superposition Award - Fallout - S1

This show has me in a bind. On one hand, taken in isolation, it's great! The story is cool, characters are nice, the setting and props are awesome. But taken as the last installment in the Fallout universe, it's just so dissapointing how they have no interest in actually furthering the story along its natural progression and instead chose to go back to the state the world was at 100+ years before…

Bleeding Heart Award - Interview with the vampire - S2

Claudia will always be doomed by the narrative, won't she?

Buddie to Be Award - 911 - S1 to S5 so far

Finally took the plunge this year after Buck manly attraction finally went from subtext to text. It's been a while since I got hooked on a fun procedural.

Best Period Drama Award - Bridgerton - S3

A carriage ride has never looked so appealing.

Best Animated Show Award - Delicious in Dungeon - S1

Would you like some more heartbreaks in your delicious monster soup?

Definitively Irish Award - Derry Girls - S1 to S3

I'm the wee lesbian!

Warm Blanket Award - Heartstopper - S3

Another year, another great season. More serious and pulling on your heartstrings but this show remains a comfort watch.

My Heart Award - Only Murders in the Building - S4E02 "Gates of Heaven" - Sazz goodbye scene

That incinerator also burned my heart.

Princess of my Heart Award - Disa - The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power - S2

The dwarven princess of my heart that can shatter stones with her voice and make the mountain moves to save her people.

Down Down Down the Road Award - Agatha All Along - S1

I wasn't expecting anyless than another great show from the same team that did Wandavision, and boy did they deliver.

Best Performance Award 1 - Shogun - Anna Sawai - S01E09 "Crimson Sky"

The poise, the subtlety, the strength, the vulnerability, etc… What praise is there not to give to Anna Sawai for her interpretation of the MVP Lady Mariko-sama?

Best Performance Award 2 - Agatha All Along - Pattty Lupone - S01E07 "Death's Hand in Mine"

Still not over "I loved being a witch", in one of the most memorable episode of the year.

Farewell my Immortal Friends Award - What We Do In The Shadows - S6

This season was again hilarious and yet, the last episode felt a bit weird? It was an ending without being a conclusion which I get can be frustrating. In any case, see you all some other time, the best vampire family of Staten Island!

Best Animated Goodbye Award - Arcane - S2

2 wonderful seasons in the League of Legends universe? Who would have thought.

Best TV Show Award - Shogun - S1

I'm still not sure what exactly glued me the most while watching this show, but between the awesome story line, the superb performances and the wonderful setting and design, I'm not really surprised. That and poetry that still makes me cry ("A flower is only a flower because it falls. Thankfully the wind." </3). Go watch it!

[wingedcupcaketimemachine]

The Mystery of the Barnet Clan Harry Potter x Reader Series

First Year Chapter 4: The Sorting Hat

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Summary: The first-years arrive at Hogwarts to be sorted into their houses. However, Harry has an uneasy feeling about a certain potions master.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4,834

Story Starts Below Cut

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist

Main Masterlist

The door swung open at once. A tall, black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and (Y/N)’s first thought was that this was not someone to cross.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

She pulled the door wide. The entrance hall was so big you could have fit the whole of a small house in it. The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors.

They followed Professor McGonagall across the flagged stone floor. Harry could hear the drone of hundreds of voices from a doorway to the right --the rest of the school must already be here -- but Professor McGonagall showed the first years into a small, empty chamber off the hall. They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.

"The Sorting Ceremony will take place in a few minutes in front of the rest of the school. I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose. Harry nervously tried to flatten his hair while (Y/N) adjusted her robes.

"I shall return when we are ready for you," said Professor McGonagall, "Please wait quietly."

She left the chamber. Harry swallowed.

"How exactly do they sort us into houses?" asked Harry.

"Some sort of test, I think. Fred said it hurts a lot, but I think he was joking."

Harry's heart gave a horrible jolt. A test? In front of the whole school? But he didn't know any magic yet -- what on earth would he have to do? He hadn't expected something like this the moment they arrived.

“Of course, he was joking, Ron,” said (Y/N) impatiently, “I’m sure it's something quite simple. We haven’t learned any magic yet.

Although Harry appreciated her words of comfort, they did not do much to calm his nerves. Harry looked around anxiously and saw that everyone else looked terrified, too. No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need. Harry tried hard not to listen to her. He'd never been more nervous, never, not even when he'd had to take a school report home to the Dursleys saying that he'd somehow turned his teacher's wig blue. He kept his eyes fixed on the door. Any second now, Professor McGonagall would come back and lead him to his doom. Then something happened that made him jump about a foot in the air -- several people behind him screamed.

"What the --?" He gasped. So did the people around him. About twenty ghosts had just streamed through the back wall. Pearly-white and slightly transparent, they glided across the room talking to one another and hardly glancing at the first years. They seemed to be arguing. What looked like a fat little monk was saying: "Forgive and forget, I say, we ought to give him a second chance --"

"My dear Friar, haven't we given Peeves all the chances he deserves? He gives us all a bad name and you know, he's not really even a ghost -- I say, what are you all doing here?"

A ghost wearing a ruff and tights had suddenly noticed the first years.

Nobody answered.

"New students!" said the Fat Friar, smiling around at them. "About to be sorted, I suppose?"

A few people nodded mutely.

"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" said the Friar. "My old house, you know."

"Move along now," said a sharp voice. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."

Professor McGonagall had returned. One by one, the ghosts floated away through the opposite wall.

"Now, form a line," Professor McGonagall told the first years, "and follow me."

Feeling oddly as though his legs had turned to lead, Harry got into line behind a boy with sandy hair, with Ron and (Y/N) behind him, and they walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall.

Harry had never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles that were floating in midair over four long tables, where the rest of the students were sitting. These tables were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table where the teachers were sitting. Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them.

The hundreds of faces staring at them looked like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the ghosts shone misty silver. Mainly to avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upward and saw a velvety black ceiling dotted with stars. He heard Hermione whisper,

"It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in Hogwarts, A History."

It was hard to believe there was a ceiling there at all, and that the Great Hall didn't simply open on to the heavens. Harry quickly looked down again as Professor McGonagall silently placed a four-legged stool in front of the first years. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard's hat. This hat was patched and frayed and extremely dirty. Aunt Petunia wouldn't have let it in the house.

Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it, Harry thought wildly, that seemed the sort of thing -- noticing that everyone in the hall was now staring at the hat, he stared at it, too. For a few seconds, there was complete silence. Then the hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth -- and the hat began to sing:

"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffis are true And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song. It bowed to each of the four tables and then became quite still again.

"So we've just got to try on the hat!" Ron whispered to Harry. "I'll kill Fred, he was going on about wrestling a troll."

(Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“I’ll never understand why you listen to Fred,” she told Ron with a scoff, “I told you it would be something simple. Like we’d ever have to wrestle a troll.”

Harry smiled weakly. Yes, trying on the hat was a lot better than having to do a spell, but he did wish they could have tried it on without everyone watching. The hat seemed to be asking rather alot; Harry didn't feel brave or quick-witted or any of it at the moment. If only the hat had mentioned a house for people who felt a bit queasy, that would have been the one for him.

Professor McGonagall now stepped forward holding a long roll of parchment.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said, "Abbott, Hannah!"

A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the

hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down. A moment's pause

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat.

The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table. Harry saw the ghost of the Fat Friar waving merrily at her.

“Barnet, (Y/N)!”

(Y/N) walked, much more confidently than she felt, up to the stool, and placed the sorting hat upon her head.

“A Barnet, are you?” said the sorting hat, “I know exactly where to put you…”

“Not Slytherin!” (Y/N) thought desperately, “Anything but Slytherin.”

“Anywhere but Slytherin, eh?” said the hat, “You’re quite different than the rest of the Barnets. I’ve only sorted one of your lot in a house other than Slytherin.”

“My dad,” (Y/N) said to the hat, “We’re not like the rest of them. We’re not meant to be in Slytherin.”

The hat contemplated her words for a moment.

“You’re just as stubborn as him,” said the hat with amusement, “It better be -- GRYFFINDOR!”

(Y/N) hurried over to the Gryffindor table, taking a seat across from Fred and George.

“Nice one, (Y/N),” said George, grinning, “For a moment there, we thought you might be a hat stall.”

“Hat stall?” asked (Y/N), “What’s a hat stall?”

“It’s when the hat can’t decide which house to put you in,” said Fred, “When we were sorted, someone sat over the hat for nearly five minutes. Isn’t that right George?”

George nodded before the group returned to watching the sorting.

"Bones, Susan!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!" shouted the hat again, and Susan scuttled off to sit next to Hannah Abbot.

"Boot, Terry!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them.

"Brocklehurst, Mandy" went to Ravenclaw too, but "Brown, Lavender" became the second new Gryffindor, and the table on the far left exploded with cheers; Harry could see (Y/N) sitting with Ron's twin brothers, cheering.

"Bulstrode, Millicent" then became a Slytherin. Perhaps it was Harry's imagination, after all he'd heard about Slytherin, but he thought they looked like an unpleasant lot. He was starting to feel definitely sick now. He remembered being picked for teams during gym at his old school. He had always been last to be chosen, not because he was no good, but because no one wanted Dudley to think they liked him.

"Finch-Fletchley, Justin!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Sometimes, Harry noticed, the hat shouted out the house at once, but at others, it took a little while to decide. "Finnigan, Seamus," the sandy-haired boy next to Harry in the line, sat on the stool for almost a whole minute before the hat declared him a Gryffindor.

"Granger, Hermione!"

Hermione almost ran to the stool and jammed the hat eagerly on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat. Ron groaned, as Hermione joined (Y/N) at the Gryffindor table.

A horrible thought struck Harry, as horrible thoughts always do when you're very nervous. What if he wasn't chosen at all? What if he just sat there with the hat over his eyes for ages, until Professor McGonagall jerked it off his head and said there had obviously been a mistake and he'd better get back on the train?

When Neville Longbottom, the boy who kept losing his toad, was called, he fell over on his way to the stool. The hat took a long time to decide with Neville. When it finally shouted, "GRYFFINDOR," Neville ran off still wearing it, and had to jog back amid gales of laughter to give it to "MacDougal, Morag."

Malfoy swaggered forward when his name was called and got his wish at once: the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed, "SLYTHERIN!"

Malfoy went to join his friends Crabbe and Goyle, looking pleased with himself.

There weren't many people left now. "Moon" "Nott" "Parkinson" then a pair of twin girls, "Patil" and "Patil" then "Perks, Sally-Anne" and then, at last -- "Potter, Harry!"

As Harry stepped forward, whispers suddenly broke out like little hissing fires all over the hall.

"Potter, did she say?"

“The Harry Potter?"

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. Next second hewas looking at the black inside of the hat. He waited.

Hmm," said a small voice in his ear. "Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There's talent, A my goodness, yes -- and a nice thirst to prove yourself, now that's interesting…. So where shall I put you?"

Harry gripped the edges of the stool and thought, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.

"Not Slytherin, eh?" said the small voice. "Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that -- no? Well, if you're sure -- better be GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry heard the hat shout the last word to the whole hall. He took off the hat and walked shakily toward the Gryffindor table. He was so relieved to have been chosen and not put in Slytherin, he hardly noticed that he was getting the loudest cheer yet. Percy the Prefect got up and shook his hand vigorously, while the Weasley twins yelled, "We got Potter! We got Potter!" Harry sat down next to (Y/N), and opposite the ghost in the ruff he'd seen earlier. The ghost patted his arm, giving Harry the sudden, horrible feeling he'd just plunged it into a bucket of ice-cold water.

He could see the High Table properly now. At the end nearest him sat Hagrid, who caught his eye and gave him the thumbs up. Harry grinned back. And there, in the center of the High Table, in a large gold chair, sat Albus Dumbledore. Harry recognized him at once from the card he'd gotten out of the Chocolate Frog on the train. Dumbledore's silver hair was the only thing in the whole hall that shone as brightly as the ghosts. Harry spotted Professor Quirtell, too, a nervous young man he had met at the Leaky Cauldron. He was looking very peculiar in a large purple turban.

And now there were only three people left to be sorted. "Thomas, Dean," a Black boy even taller than Ron, joined Harry at the Gryffindor table. "Turpin, Lisa," became a Ravenclaw and then it was Ron's turn. He was pale green by now. Harry crossed his fingers under the table and a second later the hat had shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry clapped loudly with the rest as Ron collapsed into the chair next to him.

"Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley Pompously across Harry as "Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.

Harry looked down at his empty gold plate. He had only just realized how hungry he was. The pumpkin pasties seemed ages ago.

Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there.

"Welcome," he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

"Thank you!"

He sat back down. Everybody clapped and cheered, as Harry and (Y/N) looked at eachother in astonishment. Harry didn't know whether to laugh or not.

"Is he -- a bit mad?" he asked Percy uncertainly.

"Mad?" said Percy airily. "He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?" Harry's mouth fell open. The dishes in front of him were now piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs.

The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry, but he'd never been allowed to eat as much as he liked. Dudley had always taken anything that Harry really wanted, even if It made him sick. Harry piled his plate with a bit of everything except the peppermints and began to eat.

It was all delicious.

"That does look good," said the ghost in the ruff sadly, watching Harry cut up his steak,

"Can't you --?"

“I haven't eaten for nearly four hundred years," said the ghost. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it. I don't think I've introduced myself? Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington at your service. Resident ghost of Gryffindor Tower."

"I know who you are!" said Ron suddenly. "My brothers told me about you -- you're Nearly Headless Nick!"

"I would prefer you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy --" the ghost began stiffly, but sandy-haired Seamus Finnigan interrupted.

"Nearly Headless? How can you be nearly headless?"

Sir Nicholas looked extremely miffed, as if their little chat wasn't going at all the way he wanted.

"Like this," he said irritably. He seized his left ear and pulled. His whole head swung off his neck and fell onto his shoulder as if it was on a hinge. Someone had obviously tried to behead him, but not done it properly. Looking pleased at the stunned looks on their faces, Nearly Headless Nick flipped his head back onto his neck, coughed, and said, "So -- new Gryffindors! I hope you're going to help us win the house championship this year? Gryffindors have never gone so long without winning. Slytherins have got the cup six years in a row! The Bloody Baron's becoming almost unbearable -- he's the Slytherin ghost."

Harry looked over at the Slytherin table and saw a horrible ghost sitting there, with blank staring eyes, a gaunt face, and robes stained with silver blood. He was right next to Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn't look too pleased with the seating arrangements.

"How did he get covered in blood?" asked (Y/N) with great interest.

"I've never asked," said Nearly Headless Nick delicately.

When everyone had eaten as much as they could, the remains of the food faded from the plates, leaving them sparkling clean as before. A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavor you could think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate eclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding -- "

As Harry helped himself to a treacle tart, the talk turned to their families.

"I'm half-and-half," said Seamus. "Me dad's a Muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch 'til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him."

The others laughed.

"What about you, Neville?" said Ron.

"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," said Neville, "but the family thought I was all- Muggle for ages. My Great Uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me -- he pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned -- but nothing happened until I was eight. Great Uncle Algie came round for dinner, and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my Great Auntie Enid offered him a meringue and he accidentally let go. But I bounced -- all the way down the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased, Gran was crying, she was so happy. And you should have seen their faces when I got in here -- they thought I might not be magic enough to come, you see. Great Uncle Algie was so pleased he bought me my toad."

On Harry's other side, Percy Weasley, (Y/N), and Hermione were talking about lessons ("I do hope they start right away, there's so much to learn, I'm particularly interested in Transfiguration, you know, turning something into something else, of course, it's supposed to be very difficult-";

"You'll be starting small, just matches into needles and that sort of thing -- "). Harry, who was starting to feel warm and sleepy, looked up at the High Table again. Hagrid was drinking deeply from his goblet. Professor McGonagall was talking to Professor Dumbledore. Professor Quirrell, in his absurd turban, was talking to a teacher with greasy black hair, a hooked nose, and sallow skin.

It happened very suddenly. The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes -- and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead.

"Ouch!" Harry clapped a hand to his head.

"What is it?" asked Percy.

"N-nothing."

Percy seemed content with his answer, but (Y/N) continued to look at him with a scrutinizing stare.

The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Harder to shake off was the feeling Harry had gotten from the teacher's look -- a feeling that he didn't like Harry at all.

"Who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?" he asked Percy, quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, you know Quirrell already, do you? No wonder he's looking so nervous, that's Professor Snape. He teaches Potions, but he doesn't want to -- everyone knows he's after Quirrell's job. Knows an awful lot about the Dark Arts, Snape."

Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again.

At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again. The hall fell silent.

"Ahem -- just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you.

"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."

Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.

"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors.

"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch.

"And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Harry laughed, but he was one of the few who did.

"He's not serious?" he muttered to Percy.

"Must be," said Percy, frowning at Dumbledore. "It's odd, because he usually gives us a reason why we're not allowed to go somewhere -- the forest's full of dangerous beasts, everyone knows that. I do think he might have told us prefects, at least."

Harry and (Y/N) looked at each other curiously. What could be so bad about the third-floor corridor? What was being kept there?

"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledore. Harry noticed that the other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed.

Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.

"Everyone pick their favorite tune," said Dumbledore, "and off we go!" And the school bellowed:

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,

Teach us something please,

Whether we be old and bald

Or young with scabby knees,

Our heads could do with filling

With some interesting stuff,

For now they're bare and full of air,

Dead flies and bits of fluff,

So teach us things worth knowing,

Bring back what we've forgot,

Just do your best, we'll do the rest,

And learn until our brains all rot.”

Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.

Dumbledore conducted their last few lines with his wand and when they had finished, he was one of those who clapped loudest.

"Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot!"

The Gryffindor first years followed Percy through the chattering crowds, out of the Great Hall, and up the marble staircase. Harry's legs were like lead again, but only because he was so tired and full of food. He was too sleepy even to be surprised that the people in the portraits along the corridors whispered and pointed as they passed, or that twice Percy led them through doorways hidden behind sliding panels and hanging tapestries. They climbed more staircases, yawning and dragging their feet, and Harry was just wondering how much farther they had to go when they came to a sudden halt.

A bundle of walking sticks was floating in midair ahead of them, and as Percy took a step toward them they started throwing themselves at him.

"Peeves," Percy whispered to the first years. "A poltergeist." He raised his voice, "Peeves -- show yourself"

A loud, rude sound, like the air being let out of a balloon, answered.

"Do you want me to go to the Bloody Baron?"

There was a pop, and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross- legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks.

"Oooooooh!" he said, with an evil cackle. "Ickle Firsties! What fun!"

He swooped suddenly at them. They all ducked.

"Go away, Peeves, or the Baron'll hear about this, I mean it!" barked Percy.

Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, dropping the walking sticks on Neville's head. They heard him zooming away, rattling coats of armor as he passed.

"You want to watch out for Peeves," said Percy, as they set off again, "The Bloody Baron's the only one who can control him, he won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are."

At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress.

"Password?" she said. "Caput Draconis," said Percy, and the portrait swung forward to reveal a round hole in the wall. They all scrambled through it -- Neville needed a leg up -- and found themselves in the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squashy armchairs.

Percy directed the girls through one door to their dormitory and the boys through another. At the top of a spiral staircase -- they were obviously in one of the towers -- they found their beds at last: five four-posters hung with deep red, velvet curtains. Their trunks had already been brought up. Too tired to talk much, they pulled on their pajamas and fell into bed.

" Great food, isn't it?" Ron muttered to Harry through the hangings, "Get off, Scabbers! He's chewing my sheets."

Harry was going to ask Ron if he'd had any of the treacle tart, but he fell asleep almost at once.

Perhaps Harry had eaten a bit too much, because he had a very strange dream. He was wearing Professor Quirrell's turban, which kept talking to him, telling him he must transfer to Slytherin at once, because it was his destiny. Harry told the turban he didn't want to be in Slytherin; it got heavier and heavier; he tried to pull it off but it tightened painfully -- and there was Malfoy, laughing at him as he struggled with it -then Malfoy turned into the hook-nosed teacher, Snape, whose laugh became high and cold -- there was a burst of green light and Harry woke, sweating and shaking.

He rolled over and fell asleep again, and when he woke next day, he didn't remember the dream at all.

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984, Steven Spielberg)

15/03/2024

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is a 1984 adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg. It is the second installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, a prequel to the film Raiders of the Lost Ark, with Harrison Ford reprising the title role. After arriving in India, desperate villagers ask Indiana Jones to find a mystical stone and save their children from a Thuggee cult that practices child slavery, black magic, and human sacrifice rituals honoring the goddess Kali.

Not wanting to present the Nazis as villains again, George Lucas, executive producer and co-writer, decided to treat this film as a prequel.

The film was released on May 23, 1984, to financial success, but initial reviews were mixed, criticizing its darker elements, strong violence and gore, as well as Capshaw's performance as Willie Scott; however, critical opinion improved over time, citing the film's intensity and imagination. In response to the film's more violent sequences, and with similar complaints about Gremlins, Spielberg suggested that the MPAA change its rating system, which it did within two months of the film's release, creating a new PG-13 rating. It won the Academy Award for best special effects.

A sequel, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade followed in 1989.

In 1935 Indiana Jones survives an assassination attempt by poisoning by Lao Che, a Shanghai crime boss and businessman who hired him to recover the remains of Emperor Nurhaci. With his young orphaned Chinese sidekick, Short "Shorty" Round, and a nightclub singer, Willie Scott, Indy escapes Shanghai on a cargo plane, unaware that the plane is owned by Lao Che. While the three sleep, the pilots dump the fuel and escape with parachutes, leaving the plane to crash into the Himalayas.

They are welcomed by the inhabitants of a impoverished Indian village, who ask for their help to recover the sacred stone (shivalinga) stolen from their shrine, together with their missing children, by evil forces in the nearby Pankot Palace. The inhabitants had prayed to the god Shiva for help, and when they saw Jones they believed him to be their savior.

Deviating on the road to Delhi, Indy, Willy and Shorty receive a warm welcome at Pankot Palace and are allowed to stay overnight as guests, partaking in a sumptuous, but revolting, banquet hosted by the young maharajah. His officials reject Indy's theory that the Thuggee cult is responsible for the poor village's fate. Indy discovers a secret tunnel in Willie's bedroom and sets out to explore it, overcoming a series of pitfalls. Eventually Indy, Willie and Shorty find the Temple of Evil, where they witness a human sacrifice made in the name of the goddess Kali.

Thuggee high priest Mola Ram forces Indy to drink Kali's blood, which puts him into a trance state where he mindlessly serves the cult. After recovering the stones, saving Willie and freeing the children, Indy fights a huge overseer, who is dragged into a crusher, crushed to death.

Then they come to a precarious suspension bridge over a crocodile-infested river, where they are surrounded by Thugs. Thanks to the intervention of Captain Blumburt and the army sent by the maharajah, Jones, Willie and Shorty are saved and the surviving Thugs are cornered and arrested by other soldiers.

From the first discussions regarding Indiana Jones, George Lucas expressed his intention to produce a trilogy and requested Steven Spielberg's commitment to direct three films. The first episode of the saga, Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), had only been released in cinemas for a couple of weeks when plans began for the sequel, which actually turned out to be a prequel, being set a year before the previous film.

[systemadministratorclu]

►

"You two did an excellent job stealing the Declaration of Independence. I now declare that you shall steal... Stonehenge!"

Doomsday to the Atlantis boys

@the-haunted-office

"Well, we're already breaking normal laws, why not the laws of physics, too." Milo said, "But before we go, I need to at least know where I'm reassembling this thing at."

That turned out to be easy. Rourke flew the Aktirak, while Milo marked off the site from above with the aid of several drones he'd made, and a few more he borrowed from Pollux. Then it was time to start on the second heist of his life. The Declaration of Independence, the trophy from the first one, hung in their office in its preservation case like some award they'd won.

He worked, as he had for the first scheme, for a while on their equipment. They would be even more reliant on the tech and machines for this one, to move the huge stones without damaging them. And he'd have to engineer a convincing fake. Pollux even took interest and through his assistance became the third member of the team. He was instrumental in figuring out transport as well as helping Milo engineer the fake replacement (both insisted this was necessary, and also enjoyed it as part of the challenge).

Rourke wasn't sitting idle either. He was looking into possible automated security and how to either get around it or protect themselves. He was especially interested in any anti-aircraft measures, as they would be flying in. He also charged up spare batteries just in case they needed them. Which they did.

Their route took them to a stopover in Atlantis, where Pollux got his own Aktirak and Milo fitted it with a battery rig just like his and Rourke's vehicle. From there, they took a different tunnel and cave system to the surface that came out in Europe.

They came in low and fast, low enough they would be mistaken for speeding ground cars. They landed in the center of the stone circles and got everything ready. This was a bigger job, so speed was even more critical.

Milo and Pollux's latest invention was something they called a portable tensor field generator. Rourke just called it a shrink ray. First, each stone was marked with a temporary tag, so they'd know where to put it when they reassembled the monument. Then it was shrunk using specialized electromagnetic and energy fields, small enough it could fit into its assigned space in the suitcase sized carrier Milo helped Rourke make. A similar carrier held the replacement stones, as they were indistinguishable from the originals. Once the whole thing was safely shrunk and stored, Milo reversed the tensor generator and unshrunk the replacement stones, with Pollux and Rourke positioning them. It was all very efficient and practiced. Each knew their job and did it without question. And when it was done, they left the same way they came, even eliminating any trace of their footprints (tire tracks in Pollux's case) and landed vehicles.

When they got back to the Office (Pollux kept his vehicle, wanting to study it further) they quickly unshrunk and reassembled the Stonehenge monument. Then the three stood in front of it and texted Doom to look outside. When she did, the three waved and Milo's tablet projected a hologram of the words 'WE DID IT!' in the air above them.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 65 SANSA VIII (pages 817-826)

Tywin and the Tyrells get some upgrades, Joffrey publicly breaks up with Sansa, and Sansa gets a hairnet.

-

-Sansa reached the front of the gallery just as a blast of trumpets announced the entry of Lord Tywin Lannister. He rode his warhorse down the length of the hall and dismounted before the Iron Throne. Sansa had never seen such armor; all burnished red steel, inlaid with golden scrollwork and ornamentation. His rondels were sunbursts-

Thank you brain, for autofilling 'rondels' as 'Ronald (McDonalds.)' Anyway, Tywin Lannister is just Very Extra.

The Lord of Casterly Rock made such an impressive figure that it was a shock when his destrier dropped a load of dung right at the base of the throne.

This horse knows what's up.

Like a pack of trained dogs, the lords and ladies in the hall began to shout their pleasure. "Margaery," they called, "Give us Margaery!" And, "No traitor queens! Tyrell! Tyrell!"

How quickly the ladies forget who was with them as they waited their inevitable doom. No, I get it, even if any of them appreciated Sansa keeping them calm and being there at that moment, the king is still an unstable little shit, and backing Sansa offers them no political or social value. Never mind that it was one instance in the time she's been there, most of which has been spent watching her get abused and ostracized.

(Also, Sansa doesn't want to marry Joffrey anymore so this is a boon for her... if we ignore the layers of protection it removes along with her title of future queen.)

-their chief accomplishment had been surviving the battle on the river, a feat that few enough could boast.

Yeah, no, that does deserve an award to be honest, that shit was intense.

Oh, Lancel and Tyrion update: both alive but not physically well off. That's better than either probably expected though, so take the win.

Sansa had not heard of Littlefinger doing anything especially heroic during the battle, but it seemed he was to be rewarded all the same.

Peter Baelish would do numbers on twitter. Wow, I am mean tonight. (joking)

Joffrey lurched to his feet. "I'm king! Kill him! Kill him now! I command it." He chopped down with his hand, a furious, angry gesture... and screeched in pain when his arm brushed against one of the sharp metal fangs that surrounded him. The bright crimson samite of his sleeve turned a darker shade of red as his blood soaked through it.

Looks like the throne disagrees with you on that, Joffrey. Pfff, and Cersei was worried Sansa would humiliate Joffrey, look, he's doing it all on his own.

... Ohhhh, Sansa's so happy to be free, but Dontos knows what's up *casually smacks him with the steel chair for slobbery kisses in Sansa's ear*

"What stones are these?" "Black amethysts from Asshai. the rarest kind, a deep true purple by daylight." "It's very lovely," Sansa said, thinking, It's a ship I need, not a net for my hair. "Lovlier than you know, sweet child. It's magic, you see. It's justice you hold. It's vengeance for your father." Dontos leaned close and kissed her again. "It's home."

It's poison. Ah, hindsight, you make things so blatantly obvious.

"It's a ship I need, not a net for my hair." Dany knows that feels.

Now: stop kissing the underage child or I'mma smack you with the chair again! or worse, I'll Spontaneous AU you to death!

Ahh, poor Sansa, she thinks she's so close to freedom, to going home.

By the way, if anyone is wondering: black amethysts are a real thing, the dark colour is from hematite and iron in the matrix. The real question is: does it noticeably change the magnetics of the amethyst, even if only from nah to not really?

It's the real question though, right, because hematite is magnetic, but amethyst, the regular ones iirc, have like a repulsing magnetic field, instead of a pulling, like when you put two south ends of magnets together, but nowhere near as noticeable. Hmmmm, google research spiral activate!

[reddalek02]

One of the best ways to start on Big Finish.

On a dark frozen planet where no planet should be, in a doomed city with a sky of stone, the last denizens of Earth's long-lost twin will pay any price to survive, even if the laser scalpels cost them their love and hate and humanity.

And in the mat-infested streets, around tea-time, the Doctor and Nyssa unearth a black market in second-hand body parts and run the gauntlet of augmented police and their augmented horses.

And just between the tramstop and the picturehouse, their worst suspicions are confirmed: the Cybermen have only just begun, and the Doctor will be, just as he always has been, their saviour...

The story of the genesis of the Cybermen. One of our listeners' favourite releases. Dark, moving and terrifying...

[someawesomeamvs]

Warning: Flashing lights

Title: One Step At A Time

Editor: SonsofKorhal9

Song: One Foot

Artist: WALK THE MOON

Anime: Hayate the Combat Butler, The IdolM@ster, My Hero Academia, Death Parade, Grand Blue, A Place Further Than the Universe, Shelter (Music Video), Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood A Certain Scientific Railgun, Noragami, ToraDora, Durarara, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Code Geass, Sword Art Online, Made in Abyss, Kaguya-sama: Love is War, My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom, K-on!, One Piece, Erased, A Certain Magical Index, Alderamin on the Sky, Cautious Hero, Aldnoah.Zero, Bungou Stray Dogs, Danmachi, Snow White with the Red Hair, Welcome to the Ballroom, Blood Blockade Battlefront, Mushoku Tensei, Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul, Re:Creators, Haikyuu!, Konosuba, No Game No Life, Angel Beats, Run with the Wind, Komi-san Can't Communicate, New Game!, Demon Slayer, Attack on Titan, Accel World, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure series, Magi, Is this a Zombie?, Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet, Eromanga Sensei, Space Dandy, Your Name (film), Charlotte, Fate/Stay Night, Love Live! Sunshine!!, Golden Time. Amagi Brilliant Park. Dr. Stone. Zombieland Saga. Fruits Basket (2019), Beyond the Boundary, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, The "Hentai" Prince and the Stony Cat, Carnival Phantasm, Lucky Star, Wotakoi, Absolute Duo, Engaged to the Unidentified, Love Live! School Idol Project, "Problem Children are Coming From Another World, Aren't They?"

Category: For fun

Award: Anime Expo 2022 - 1st Place Fun & Play

[doomedandstoned]

Victoria’s HAIL THE VOID Airs Powerful New LP, ‘Memento Mori’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Artwork by Welder Wings

The record begins with a blinding stream of feedback, a swirling black hole engulfing us with screeching guitar, bruising bass, and cries forever lost. It is the portal through which we must pass to enter the unparalleled sonic world of HAIL THE VOID.

The B.C. trio caught us all off-guard with their eponymous debut in 2020, stirring quite up a sensation. We recognized they were the real deal and gave 'em a Doomie in 2021. Ripple Music picked them up around then, with the promise of issuing their next album. I couldn't have imagined a better follow-up, but Hail The Void's second full-length has done it.

The album title is in Latin, 'Memento Mori' (2023), and when translated sobers us all up: "Remember That You Die." A fitting inscription for a band whose sound is grim on the one hand, urgent on the other. Take Kirin Gudmunson's disquieted vocals of "Writing on the Wall." The doom keeps your feet firmly planted on the ground, while the singing soars like a restless ghost on a starlit night.

Elsewhere, Gudmundson's approach is bluesy ("Goldwater"), gritty & untamed ("Talking To The Dead"), and replete with bittersweet overtones ("100 Pills"). He's got one of the more formidable voices in our heavy music universe, commanding an impressive range that's somewhere in the neighborhood of the Chevelle, Aleph Null, and Chrome Ghost. Meanwhile, the instruments bring us Soundgardenesque heft, with Gudmundson on guitar, Dean Gustin on bass, and Curtis Bennet on drums.

"High and Rising" is the clear standout of the record. It begins with big, warm bass tone plucking out a riff, accompanied by the pitter patter of rain so familiar to those of us in the Pacific Northwest. The chorus is a floor stomper for damn sure. The band really pull out all of the stops on this one, and have plenty of time to cool down with the quasi-hypnotic "Serpens South" (don't miss its crafty guitar solo) and the chill, bluesy closer, "The Void."

Hail the Void's Memento Mori is quite right for a winter release, with its dark hues and stormy mood; yet the record is far from fallow. It is genuinely moving (those forlorn notes hit me right in the heart). Get your copy this weekend c/o Ripple Music, releasing February 17th in multiple vinyl editions, as well as CD and digital formats (pre-order here).

Today, Doomed & Stoned is giving you a listen to it all, in this world premiere.

Give ear...

SOME BUZZ

Emerging from the dense woodlands of British Columbia, Canada, Hail The Void have made their presence known within the underground stoner metal scene in the form of their self-titled debut album, which reached #4 on the Doom Charts for June 2020, and won them the “Best Debut Album” Doomie Award at the first annual Doomed and Stoned Awards. The band consists of Kirin Gudmundson (Vocals/Guitar), Dean Gustin (Bass), and Curtis Bennet (Drums). All three members bring their own contributions and influences to the heavy psychedelic doom metal sound Hail The Void is known for.

Released as part of a special series of releases curated by Ozzy Osbourne bassist Blasko, "Memento Mori" evolves from a towering and thunderous doom beast to a lysergic and spellbinding rock marvel reminiscent of the likes of Pink Floyd and King Crimson. Hail The Void produces a rich 8-track brimming with finely chiseled riffs, powerful build-ups and ardent vocals from frontman Kirin Gudmundson. A multi-dimensional record that should captivate fans of doom metal, classic rock and heavy psychedelia all at once!

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[sarthak2405]

My top 5 Video game soundtracks

As a gamer i very often end up vibing to soundtracks present in video games whether it is the main menu , durimg some chase scene or some action scene. There truly are some one of a kind soundtracks of video games and i will tell you my top 5

5 - The batman arkham series

The batman arkham series does have some of my favorite soundtracks all credited to Nick Arundel. Some my favorites include "in the batcave" , " batman arkham city main theme" and "Inner demon" .

4 - cod black ops 1

This game holds a special place in my heart for two reasons, this was the game that got me into the whole cod franchise and second reason being the song in this game by the band called the rolling stones, it features a song called " Sympathy for the devil" this song was perfect for the boat section of the game in my opinion

3 - infamous 2

My very first console game ever on the play station 3 the game featured 2 of my favorite soundtracks called " Cole MacGrath" (who is also the main protagonist of the first two games) created by Jim Dooly and "Get Bertrand" created by JD Mayer.

2 - doom eternal

i think we all know what song im going to say, if u dont well lets just youve been missing out. the song is called " Rip and Tear", created by Mic Gordon. there are two thing im going to say about this song. First off is that you sir ( Mick Gordon) have created a masterpiece secondly did you know this song features a freaking metal choir tell me something thats more cooler.

1 - uncharted : Drake's Fortune

This song again needs no introduction to those who have played the games but if you havent first of what have you been doing with your life, if you have a playstation i advise you to spend money and play all 4 games. the song is called " Nates Theme" created by Greg Edmonson and this song has one of the best main menu songs that u can think of, i think this was the only song i ever waited to finish and only then hit play.

Bonus fact im actually listening to one of these songs right now :)