#The Boyz Juhaknyeon

[revealdreamz]

Gibberish

[midiley]

won't let anyone forget about this look

[rubyyvonne]

the boyz as aesthetics

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sangyeon.

playing chess together on a rainy day, melting into his sweater when he engulfs you in a hug, holding hands while walking along the beach together, the feeling of freshly cleaned sheets, water dripping off his hair after a shower, silently enjoying each others company and embrace while lying together.

jacob.

playing with his hair, wide smiles, getting caught up in the moment and staring at each other for longer than intended, beige and neutral tones, vintage cameras, the scent of freshly baked cookies, the constant feeling of comfort when with him, watching the sunset together, soft giggles.

younghoon.

blush creeping onto your cheeks when you lock eyes, picking flowers in a flower field together, lying on a picnic blanket together, a soft a calm breeze, the scent of strawberries, knitted blankets, fairy lights, jumping into his arms after not seeing eachother, forehead kisses, him playing with your fingers and rings.

hyunjae.

random hugs from behind, warm smiles, the mysterious new student, hushed laughter, the scent of roses, velvet couches, the chatter around you fades out when your eyes meet, red cherries, him tutoring you after class, falling asleep in the library together, running your fingers along the spines of old books.

juyeon.

the scent of freshly baked goods, his strong arms wrapping around you, comforting you with kisses all over the face when you have a nightmare, the lust for wanting more in life, passionate kisses, treating you like your his queen, dates at the drive in, his hand holding yours when driving, sparkling eyes and shy smiles when he sees you.

kevin.

a guitar quietly being played, always being happy in his presence, the scent of freshly roasted coffee beans, sitting together at the back of a coffee shop sharing stories and laughter, a foggy beach at night, waking up to sunlight peaking through the blinds and his arms wrapped around you, doodling in a notebook, giggling while looking at memes together.

chanhee.

soft pinks, strawberry lipgloss, rainbows after rain, sweater paws, nestling into the soft fabric of his clothing when hugging, eskimo kisses, fuzzy pom poms, sparkling eyes paired with shy smiles, holding hands while looking into eachothers eyes, going on a shopping spree together, the smell of a candy store, rollerskating together.

changmin.

watching a horror movie together on a dark and stormy night, him giggling at you when you get scared while hugging you, shy and embarrassed laughs when you make eye contact, cuddling on the sofa, eating pizza together, neon lights, visiting vhs stores together, shy glances, pulling all nighters together to have movie marathons.

juhaknyeon.

uncontrollable giggles as he chases you around the house, the freedom you feel when together, soft kisses on your shoulder and neck, running barefoot through a flower field together, ice cream from the local deli on a hot day, a floral scent, sitting with your back to his chest while watching the sunset on the beach.

hwall.

black ripped jeans, lazy smiles, pulling you into his arms, the scent of rain, sitting in his lap while cuddling and watching the rain fall outside the windows, listening to music at 3am, the feeling of being engulfed by a body of water, clingy boy, cuddling to the point that your limbs get tangled together, silver chains.

sunwoo.

oversized hoodies with the hood up, eye contact and shy smiles between kisses, being his passenger princess on random midnight drives, sitting on his lap with his arms wrapped around you, watching lightning, skateboarding at an abandoned and overgrown skate park, uncontrollable giggles, a single streetlight on a dark and empty street.

eric.

catching his eye from across the room, shy glances, screaming the lyrics of your favourite songs together, chaotic but loveable energy, golden retriever boy, a high school romance, waiting at the gate after school to drive you home, 3am trips to maccas, cuddling with him being the big spoon.

[machatheo]

hi~ can I request for a the boyz reaction when their girlfriend's personality is the complete opposite of theirs? I hope you have a great day! <3

hi! sorry this took so long to reply to ;-; had a bit of a writers block ;-; not sure if i wrote this how you wanted since i based this mostly on their mbti types, if so, sorry about that!

🎐 sangyeon:

sangyeon tends to think positively and dislikes negativity, thus avoiding any gloomy situations around him. he likes to put himself in the center of attention and radiate a ‘big brother’ energy. when you start dating sangyeon, it’s like a new world opens up to you. being a person who sees most of the things in a pessimistic light, you always wonder how someone like sangyeon managed to fall in love with you. however, sangyeon is great at showing you exactly why, taking you on dates every week and making you fall in love with him even more. because of him you start seeing the world in a different light and he truly makes you feel like a better person.

🎏 jacob:

jacob tends to be on a more quieter side and always keeps his thoughts/feelings bottled up inside. so he’s very fascinated whenever he sees you freely talk with anyone that’s not relatively close to you. he loves listening to your daily talks about little things or basically anything that happened throughout your day and it puts him at peace. he doesn’t feel the need to socialize with other people when he has you around since you enlighten him with everything.

🪸 younghoon:

younghoon tends to get jealous over anything even remotely small. because of that, he also tends to get a bit overprotective over you and whatever you do, even managing to scare some people away. this happens a lot since you like the attention and gravitate towards it. it does get a bit exhausting to you, having to explain to him that he’s the only one you love, but you also try to understand him. you both do have a lot of talks over this which makes it a tad easier to approach.

🎐 hyunjae:

hyunjae is very straightforward and tends to tell anyone how it is, wether it’s good or bad. however, if it’s you, hyunjae tends to go softer with his words or actions just to show how much he loves you. but he does get annoyed when you don’t tell him what’s wrong when something’s bothering you since you usually tend to go over things rather than saying it how it is. you do, however, have a few misunderstandings over this because hyunjae just can’t understand why is it so hard for you to express your thoughts. but overtime both of you still make it work.

🎏 juyeon:

juyeon really enjoys being around other people and can smoothly get into any conversation but he never fails to leave you out of it. usually snaking his arm around your waist and encouraging you to spark a conversation yourself. you love that he’s that attentive to your quieter self but you being a person that needs to charge your social battery every now and then, you quite often need to get away from the crowds and have some alone time. juyeon understands that and mostly always prefers to spend his time with you than others.

🪸 kevin:

kevin is like an open book, you will practically know most of him after a first meeting. he likes to talk a lot and share a bunch of unnecessary facts about himself while you, on the other hand, like to keep to yourself, wary of other people’s opinions. so it takes kevin awhile to completely open you up, but he really puts time into it and doesn’t press you over it. kevin honestly loves learning something new about you every day and it makes him feel very soft and giddy.

🎐new / chanhee:

chanhee gets sensitive over small things so you have to be extra attentive on whatever you do so you don’t accidentally push him away. you tend to do things without a second thought which sometimes don’t go unnoticed for chanhee. he is also someone who’s very hard to read so you have to spend some extra time to get to know him more and grow closer overtime.

🎏 q / changmin:

changmin is heavily focused on the present and likes to live in the moment. he is determined to show his best but fails to hide the fact that he sometimes goes too hard on himself. this is where you come in - you’re great at calming him down and be a shoulder to cry on when changmin’s going through a difficult day. changmin also likes to entertain those around him and joke a lot so he easily gets your happiness level up.

🪸 juhaknyeon:

juhaknyeon has a lot of confidence and is very energetic which leads him to truly believe in himself and his abilities. when he meets you, he’s afraid of scaring you away since you’re timid, so he presents himself as someone who’s very caring and soft with his words. of course, you don’t want him to fully hide his true personality so you willingly push him to open up more and also collectively try to become more confident in yourself. honestly, the more you date, the more alike you become.

🎐 sunwoo:

sunwoo is competitive and would always try to be first in whatever he’s doing. sometimes he tends to get too over the top which unfortunately makes you feel like you’re not doing enough. however sunwoo cares about you deeply and is really attentive so you’re not left with those feelings for too long. rather than being competitive, you mostly tend to stick to yourself and focus on one thing at the time, which where your personalities tend to clash a bit but you both make it work.

🎏 eric:

eric is someone who’s really lively and outgoing, which is perfect since you’re like that too. but you get separated by the line where eric tends to be sensitive to stuff and you don’t. eric worries a lot and overthinks every little detail, which makes him take a double take over anything he does. he’s glad that he has someone like you, who can give him some kind of comfort and encourage his actions till he believes in himself even more over time.

[lilbadgyu]

All About You: 김선우

- song: All About You by The Boyz

The Boyz Master List

     walking down the hallway, heading to you next class; you spot him. he was the one that you’ve had eyes on since the first day of school; all the way back in high school. now... you’re going to the same college. you told your friends all about him, and they always tried to get his attention on you, but it never really worked out. now being on your own, you just had to wish for the best to happen.

     as you walked down the hallway, he looks back as someone calls his name. your eyes meet, and instantly your gaze is to the floor. of course, that just had to happen and now your heart is racing and you don’t know what to do. you had to get to class, but a part of you wanted to say hi to him, and just get it over with. 

     you looked to the time on your phone, and you had five minutes to get to your next class; stopping and saying hi wasn’t going to be possible. you just kept on your way, going to your class. when you walked in, your eyes scanned the area for an open seat; since this class was one of the more popular ones at this time. which you never understood how calculus was so popular, most people hated math beyond anything. 

     you made your way to your seat, setting your bag on the floor before sitting down and taking out your laptop. “is this seat taken?” a voice asked, causing you to look up at who it was. 

     and of course... it was him. 

     “oh uh- no it isn’t it’s open.” you answered nervously. 

     he smiled softly and took the opened seat, taking out his laptop as well. “you seem familiar.” he said, breaking the silence between the two of you. 

     “we actually went to the same high school together, i was always that one that had her friends come up and talk to you.” you laugh nervously, rubbing your arm. 

     “oh my gosh, i can’t believe i didn’t even recognize you.” he replied.

     ‘yeah because you being the kim sunwoo, you never looked at me.’ you thought to yourself, “yeah i’ve changed a bit over summer.” you replied, a smile trying to surface. 

     “man, i’m sorry to say this but what’s your name again?” he asked, in a genuine way but it still stung. 

    “oh its y/n” you chuckled.

    “i’ll remember that for the rest of the year because we are now seatmates for our classes. does that sound good?” sunwoo asked with a proud smile. 

    you nodded, “that does sound good, i’d like that.” you smiled. 

----

    after class it was finally lunch, and you were starving. of course you had no idea where to go, and really didn’t have friends to go to lunch with. you looked back to sunwoo, talking to his friends eric, hyunjae, and juyeon. those two were a part of the little group that sunwoo ran around with, and from what it looks like; they all are probably going to this college. 

    they looked to you, sunwoo smiling at you; making your heart race. you never did think that this would happen, nor would it be happening right now. you smiled back and turned around only to be called by sunwoo himself. you let out a sigh and traced back to sunwoo and his three friends. “y/n; eric, hyunjae, juyeon, and i were all wondering if you wanted to get lunch with us.” sunwoo said. 

     “um well, depends on where you want to go because i have to get to art history at 1:35.” you replied checking your phone for the time. 

     “would you like to come to our apartment for lunch? it’s only a five minute walk from here.” sunwoo asked.

     you hesitated, “uh no, i think i’ll just find something to eat around campus.” you nervously replied, scared that you sounded rude.

     “hey that’s okay, don’t worry about it. maybe we can do it another time?” sunwoo asked.

     you nodded hesitantly. “here, take this.” sunwoo said, handing you a piece of paper. 

     with that he walked away with his friends. you carefully opened the folded piece of paper, revealing a 10 digit number with a little smiley face. ‘finally after five years’

[mo-notmoe]

See also TheB or Deobi 🥰

[endlesslyhyunjae]

Stream The Stealer

[ambivartence]

THE BOYZ “WATCH IT” MV

[possession1981-moving]

HAKNYEON Watch It (2023)

[neobi]

[scan] phantasy sketch photobook

[revealdreamz]

Group photo

[bubbaloosblog]

⠀⠀ 🎧 ˒ (⠀ 𝗂 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖽𝗂𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ’ 𝓠.⠀)     𝟣𝟵𝟫4   ˚ ♡

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: Haknyeon thought he would get you all to himself, but his other roommate for the tour and two additional guests want a taste, too. Pairing: Juyeon, Changmin (Q), Haknyeon, Eric x fem!reader Tropes: idol au Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, very minimal mxm Smut Warnings: oral (m receive), group sex, bukake, protected sex, light breath play, praise, dirty talk, light impact play, multiple orgasms Word Count: 2,257 Host Tags: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye Note: Well, we’ve reached the end of FFF!! I hope everyone’s enjoyed this series! ALSO PLS BE PROUD OF ME! I DID ALL 29 DAYS WITHOUT MISSING ONE EVEN WITH MIDTERMS HAPPENING!!! Before You Interact February Filth Masterlist

Listen to ♡ Blow by Jackson Wang

“Miss,” a bodyguard approaches you, “please follow me.”

You turn around and furrow your eyebrows together, “Did I do something wrong?”

The man shakes his head, “I just need to speak with you for a moment.”

You wave your friends off, telling them that you’ll catch them later. The bodyguard walks, and you follow after him. Most people had cleared out after the concert. The only people you see are the staff closing down the stands for merch. Just as you’re about to question the man again, he stops. Stepping to the side, you see who you assume is another staff member.

“You’re of age correct?”

“Yes.” You answer cautiously.

He pulls a paper out, “One of the boys wants to take you back to the hotel. We’ll take you back there if you consent and sign this.”

To say you’re shocked is an understatement. You stand there and process the situation for a few moments. The second man clears his throat, recapturing your attention. Reaching out, you take the pen from his hand. You don’t ask which member wants to hook up with you or why you, of all people. You barely read through the document before signing it. The man takes the pen and document back from you before slipping into the room behind him. Your gaze turns back to the bodyguard, who stays silent.

“Am I going to go in the vans with them?”

“No.” He says shortly, “You’ll probably be tossed into the one with the makeup artists. It would be compromising if you got in the van with the members.”

You nod and stay silent in the space with him. It feels like you stand in silence in front of the closed door forever. After a while, you hear the bodyguard’s phone chime. He makes a small noise to gain your attention before jerking his chin. It seems to be a silent communication that you’re leaving the venue. 

He guides you around the back of the building and into a van. Half of it is filled with rolling cases, which must have a million different hair and makeup products. You climb in and sit in a random seat. Soon after, makeup artists join you in the car. None of them speak to you. They hardly even acknowledge your existence in the vehicle. The car ride feels like an eternity. You get notifications that the boys are posting their post-concert tweets. It feels surreal that one of them wants to hook up with you. Who it is remains a mystery to you. Maybe that’s part of the fun, though. 

Once you arrive at the hotel, you wait in the car for someone to guide you to the right place. The same bodyguard from earlier comes to retrieve you from the van. He still says as little to you as he possibly can. The walk into the building is silent, the ride in the elevator is silent, and even the walk down the hallway is silent. He stops in front of a door and quietly knocks. He steps back while waiting for someone to answer the door.

“Can you at least tell me whose room I’m going to?” You huff.

“Is there someone you’re hoping for, sweetheart?” It’s Haknyeon.

Your body goes stiff, and a shiver runs down your spine. He’s stunning, to say the very least. His hair is a bit wet and tussled as if he had just finished showering. You shake your head, eyes clearly wandering as you take in the sight of him. He smirks with a small sigh. You swear the sight of him pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek could send you to an early grave. You glance to your side and find that the bodyguard is gone. In all fairness, you can’t blame him for wanting to leave as soon as he could. Hakneyon opens the door further and allows you to step into his room.

You don’t even get a breath in before Haknyeon has you pinned to the door with both your wrists trapped in his hand above your head. The immediate feeling of his body against yours, your body heat morphing into one shared feeling, makes you positively melt. His lips against yours feel like a sinful heaven. You wrap your legs around his waist before he takes a handful of your ass with his free hand. Haknyeon pulls you off the door and sits down on his bed with you in his lap. You grind against him desperately. His hand that was previously holding your wrists tangles itself into your hair. 

“Haknyeon,” you breath against his lips, “wanna suck your cock, please?”

“So eager to please.” He smirks, “Go on, pretty. Let me see how much prettier you get on your knees for me.”

You waste no time sinking onto the ground between his spread thighs. He helps you make quick work of the clothing on his lower half. He kicks away his sweatpants the moment they pool around his ankles. You take his cock in your hand, kissing up and down his length. Once in a while, you give a few kitten licks to his tip, making him groan lowly. His hand finds its way back into your hair as you finally take his tip in your mouth. You suck gently for a few moments before Haknyeon decides to take matters into his own hands. He pushes your head down suddenly, making you take him fully down your throat. 

“So pretty choking on my cock.” He moans. “Maybe I should keep you lo–” 

His words are cut off by the sound of the room door opening, followed by Changmin’s laughter. You freeze but keep sucking him off dutifully. You know Changmin just walked in the room, but all you can think about is sucking Haknyeon off to the best of your ability.

“What’s this?” You hear Juyeon ask.

So Changmin isn’t alone. What a lovely coincidence.

“You find a little fun, Hak?” Eric questions.

“Damn right I did.” He chuckles, thrusting up into your mouth, “Think she’s one who would want to be fucked stupid, care to help me?”

“Is she comfortable with that?” Changmin asks.

You moan around Haknyeon’s cock, looking at him with wide glassy eyes. Everything about your muffled noise and your gaze tells him that you want it. You feel a pair of hands on your hips, pulling your clothing down over the globes of your ass. Two fingers lazily run through your folds for a few moments. When the fingers retreat, you wiggle your hips back. You want so badly to have that feeling again. You’re so lost in sucking off Haknyeon that you don’t process the sound of ripping foil in the room. 

“I’m gonna fuck you now, pretty.” Changmin warns you.

He pushes into you in one motion, and you let out a loud moan around Haknyeon’s cock. You want nothing more than to have the younger man cum all over you right now. Hollowing your cheeks, you focus as much energy as you can into making Haknyeon cum. He moans and holds you down on his cock for a few seconds. He tugs your hair again to pull you off his member. Haknyeon fists his cock until he cums. The pearly ropes land on your face. He watches your expression as you make desperate faces at the feeling of Changmin inside you. You know you look like a debauched, fucked out mess with his cum on your face as Changmin fucks you into next week. Haknyeon moves out of the way, opting to now just observe.

You hear a small whine from the other bed. When you turn your head, you see Eric seated between Juyeon’s legs. Juyeon’s long, nimble fingers are toying with Eric’s nipples as he fucks his own fist.

“W-want you in my mouth, please?” You ask, holding eye contact with Eric.

“Fuck, okay.” He groans.

The youngest man stands up and moves to the bed right where Haknyeon previously was. Immediately, you take him in your mouth. You still have Haknyeon’s cum on your face, but you love every moment of it. Changmin reaches underneath your body to roughly play with your neglected clit. The feeling of his fingers on your clit combined with the intensity of his thrusts, sends you hurling into your first orgasm of the night. You moan loudly around Eric as the sensation rolls through your body. Changmin suddenly pulls out, and you feel the condom drop against your back before feeling his cum land across your ass and back. He moans filthy words as the ropes land on your skin. They’re each marking your body, and you love how it feels. Before you even start to beg, Juyeon is behind you and pushing his long cock into your throbbing pussy. 

“Such a good pussy.” He groans once he’s fully inside you, “So damn pretty sucking Eric off while I fuck you. You love being double stuffed like this, don’t you?”

You moan around Eric’s cock and do your best to nod as you continue to give the youngest man a semi-lazy blowjob. Eric lets you have full range to do whatever you please with him. After being basically throatfucked by Haknyeon, it’s a nice change of pace. Juyeon is just as intense as Changmi, though. He holds onto your hips and pulls you back to meet each of his thrusts. He removes the condom from your back, leaving the view of Changmin’s cum on your back in front of him.

 Juyeon reaches forward and pushes your head down onto Eric’s cock. He holds you there for a while. Your eyes brim with tears, and your lungs scream for air, but you love every moment of it. You look up at Eric through your lashes. His eyes are half-lidded and swimming in pleasure. 

“So fucking pretty. And to think, Haknyeon was going to keep you all to himself.” Eric scoffs, “You’re too damn good to keep to one person, isn’t that right?”

Juyeon releases your head. You pull off Eric’s cock fully and jerk him off. Your spit coats his cock in a thin shiny layer, making pornographic wet sounds as you move your hand around him.

“It would’ve been such a damn shame i-if– fuck!” you cut yourself off as Juyeon thrusts into you harder, “If he kept me to himself.”

“You like being used by all four of us?” Changmin questions from the other bed.

You turn your gaze toward him. He’s lounging back on the bed, clearly enjoying his post-orgasm bliss. Haknyeon is sitting at the edge of the bed, hand on his cock again as he fucks his hand slowly. His eyes are focused on where Juyeon’s cock continuously fucks into you. 

“Love it so much!” You moan, “Love being used by you guys.”

Juyeon smacks your ass lightly, “So fucking good for us.” 

“So fucking good.” Eric groans, “Why don’t you wrap those pretty lips around my cock again?”

You don’t need to be told twice. You bring Eric’s cock back into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks just like you had with Haknyeon. Eric lets out a loud moan. He starts to thrust up into your mouth. He has his hands back behind him on the mattress as leverage as he fucks your throat. You can already tell he’s close based on the intensity of his thrusts. You make garbled, needy sounds. There’s spit and cum running down your face. It’s filthy, but you wouldn’t want it any other way. Your pussy pulses as you cum around Juyeon’s cock. Your thighs shake so hard they nearly give out underneath you. Eric takes a handful of your hair and pulls out of your mouth. He cums across your face. Some of it lands on your lips, which you happily lick into your mouth and swallow. The rest lands on your cheeks and forehead and drips down your chin. 

Juyeon pulls out of you after your orgasm subsides and takes off his condom. He jerks off against your ass until he cums across your ass and back. Just the knowledge that the four of them have cum all over you makes your body desperate for more, even though, as it stands, you can barely support yourself on your knees. Haknyeon must’ve taken note of your state and swept in to take you up in his arms.

“You must feel real gross right now.” He jokes lightly, “Covered in drying cum and drool.”

“I actually love it.” You beam, “I’m just a bit tired.”

“You’re not sleeping anywhere covered in cum and drool, sweetheart.” He cringes at the idea.

You hum, “I won’t be able to stand in the shower.”

“I’ll help you.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, the feeling of drying cum on your face finally starting to get to you.

“The others won’t bother us. Changmin is the only other person staying in the room. He already cleaned up. Juyeon and Eric can clean up in their own bathroom.”

“You’re letting me stay? You’re helping me clean up?”

Haknyeon chuckles, “I’m a celebrity, not a dickhead. It would be real stupid of me to try to make you clean yourself up in this state, let alone get back to where you’re supposed to be at nearly three in the morning.”

“T-thank you.” You respond, not sure what else to say.

Haknyeon smiles lightly, “You’re welcome. Don’t be surprised if you wake up with me between your thighs, though.”

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[jinkoh]

rat in the trap

haknyeon x fem!reader

summary: you knew haknyeon wasn’t coming to the bar for you. it was just for his job, to investigate. and yet, when he gave you that sweet smile of his, you couldn’t stop yourself from hoping for something more, for something real...

tags: undercover!haknyeon, suggestive, making out, angst, manipulation, mafia au type themes; warnings: alcohol, gun violence (non graphic), blood

wc: 10.6k

a/n: this was actually inspired by the convoyz episodes, specifically something sunwoo said (you'll see~), but the plot strayed very far from that. anyway i hope you'll enjoy this--it's been in my WIPs since february so i'm glad to finally have it done hehe

masterlist

You were pretty convinced your boss was entangled in something messy. For one he was paying you in cash—not exactly a common thing at a respectable business. Then again, by itself it wouldn't be strange enough to be alerted. The other thing though were the men with their black suits and slicked back hair that came in once or twice a month. There were usually two of them, younger than you'd think and definitely younger than your boss. They'd come right after closing time when you'd already be wiping down the counters. Most of the time they’d just head straight for the little office your boss had in one of the backrooms and leave just as quickly again. But once in a while they sat down in the corner booth, ordering a whiskey on ice and waiting for your boss to sit with them. You didn't know much about them, aside from their drinking preferences and their names that you'd overheard before. Your boss seemed to purposely keep you away from their talks, telling you to leave the closing up to him even though he usually pushed as much work as possible onto you. Not that you'd complain—closing up was annoying and it seemed to be better for your personal safety to not get involved anyway. Most importantly though, you received a generous tip on days like these. He'd give it to you under the claim that business had been good that day, but you knew there was more to it; a bribe to keep your mouth shut about something you didn’t even know anything about. And you weren’t going to try and find out—curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction wouldn't pay your rent if you lost this job.

With all of this in mind, you had your suspicions when Haknyeon came in for the first time. He probably thought he was doing a really good job staying undiscovered, but you'd worked at the bar long enough to know who belonged to your usual clientele and who didn’t. And Haknyeon—well, he was just a tad bit too clean. Even if he undid the topmost button of his perfectly ironed white shirt—he was still wearing a perfectly ironed white shirt. He looked like a salary man or a lawyer, or, if your gut feeling was right, a cop in disguise. 

Rather than one of the tables, he sat down at the bar with a little sigh.

"Rough day at work?" you asked with your sweetest smile. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and all that. Though, frankly, you weren’t sure what he'd turn out to be. If it came down to it, you’d choose your personal safety above the law anyday. Still, a sweet smile couldn’t hurt. Especially not if it was returned this brightly.

"Not particularly," he admitted easily. "I'm just a little bored, a little tired."

"Bored, hm?" You tilted your head. "This isn’t exactly an exciting place though. Most people that come here just want to silently drown their sorrows in a glass of whiskey. There isn’t a lot here that could help with boredom."

"You're here, though."

For a second you just stared at him, taken off guard by the comment. You hadn't intended to flirt with him. Mostly you'd just tried to casually let him know that you knew the place well—making yourself look valuable seemed like a good idea. But his remark had actually made your heart stutter for a second there.

"Sorry," he chuckled awkwardly, his eyes cast down. "It was a bit much, wasn't it? I just meant to say that you seem to be an interesting person."

You found your smile again. “Likewise.”

“I’m Haknyeon, by the way.”

“So, Haknyeon, what can I get for you?”

“You’re not going to tell me your name?”

You shrugged, a challenging grin on your face. “Do I have to?”

With a laugh, Haknyeon looked up at you through his lashes. You liked the spark in his eyes. “I’ll have a beer then,” he said instead of pressing further. You liked that too.

Haknyeon kept coming after that, sitting at the counter every single time. He made casual conversation, telling you silly stories about his colleagues from his boring office job (which you were more or less certain were really colleagues from his police job) and he also asked about you, your likes and dislikes, your life, your work at the bar, the bar itself. It seemed to confirm your suspicions—why else would he want to know so much about you? And yet a small little hope started to bloom in your chest, that maybe you’d been wrong, that maybe he was coming for you after all. There was just something about him that made you feel attached. Perhaps it was the way he’d slowly repeated your name after you finally told him, nodding as if to say that it suited you. Or perhaps it was his laughter or the way he’d smile fondly whenever he’d been the one to make you laugh. Whatever it was, you found yourself falling quickly, against your better knowledge.

“I think you should go out with me,” Haknyeon said out of nowhere one day, before he’d even gotten his drink.

“What?”

“I’ve thought about it and it would only make sense.”

You laughed. “How so?”

“Well, I think we’ve gotten to know each other as well as we can in this context. So if I want to get to know you better, I have no choice but to take you on a date.” 

He was taking it too far, you thought. If this was really all just about his undercover investigation, he shouldn’t do this, he shouldn’t ask you out. He shouldn’t toy with your feelings in this way if his only objective was to get information on your boss. Naturally, you should have declined. You were already too invested in this, in him and seeing him outside surely wouldn’t help. 

But that silly spark of hope, lingering somewhere in the back of your mind like a persistent  little virus made you act a fool.

“Okay then,” you replied. “So, in which context do you want to get to know me instead?”

“We could go bowling. Or how about go-karts?”

“You want to go karting? For a first date? How well can you get to know me if we’re sitting in separate karts, unable to actually talk?”

He shrugged. “Well, I’d be able to see how dirty you’re willing to play to win. I think that says a lot about someone’s personality.”

“Oh?” You chuckled. “So I take it you’re a goody-two-shoes that likes to play fair?”

He grinned. “Of course.”

It turned out that Haknyeon was, in fact, not a goody-two-shoes at all. He played to win and he’d find a way to get there. Surprising, for a cop, you thought. Then again, maybe you had to be a little cunning if you wanted to excel at undercover work. (But how excellent could he be, if you had him exposed the second he’d walked in?)

“Wanna go again?” Haknyeon asked with a laugh as he slipped his helmet off after another round of mercilessly beating you.

“You really want to destroy all my confidence, huh?”

“Sorry,” he gave you an apologetic smile. “I’ll let you win this time?”

“Oh, don’t you dare, I don’t want your pity.”

He stepped a little closer, helmet under his arm. “Wanna call it a day then and have some drinks instead? My treat.”

You weren’t one to say no to a free drink, even less so when he let you choose the location. So, a little later you found yourself sitting next to him at a table in your favorite café. It felt so much like a regular date, that you almost forgot your whole undercover cop theory. He didn’t talk about the bar or your boss—he seemed to really be there for you, intrigued by the person you were outside of your job. With every second you spent together, the hope that this was something real grew stronger until it was all you could think about. He asked if he could see you home later that evening and you didn’t stop to consider whether it was smart or not to let him know where you lived, because you were too focused on the prospect of being with him for just a little longer, another minute, another hour, maybe even the night. If he’d asked, you would have invited him in for a coffee or a snack or a movie or any other excuse he could have possibly come up with. But he didn’t ask. He gave you a bright smile when he said goodbye, telling you that he’d been happy to spend the day with you. His hands briefly brushed against yours. They felt warm. You wanted to hold on but neither of you did. You pulled away to fumble for your keys. Haknyeon waited until you’d unlocked the door and got inside before leaving. You tried not to feel disappointed as you watched him walk down the street from the window in your apartment.

“We’re going to close up,” you said as you were already wiping down the counter, while Haknyeon was still sitting right there, watching you.

“Yeah, I’ll wait,” he said simply. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’d stayed until your shift was over to walk you home. But today was different. You’d seen the little red cross in your boss’ calendar. They would come today. And while you understood that it was probably the kind of opportunity Haknyeon was waiting for and maybe even the only reason he always stayed behind and saw you home, you also knew that you’d get in trouble if you didn’t manage to kick him out on time. 

“Don’t worry, you can go home first.”

He tilted his head. “You know that I don’t mind waiting for you.”

“No,” you insisted with a little more force this time. “Not today.”

He seemed to understand, to some extent, that him sticking around would cause problems for you. “I’ll wait outside then, around the corner?” He proposed. “Is that okay?”

You contemplated for a second but then you nodded. Even if it wasn’t anything to him, you liked walking home together. He gave you a happy smile and then left. Soon after, the door opened again, the little bell above it ringing into the silence of the bar. The two men had shown up just the way you’d known they would.

“Whiskey on ice,” the one who you thought was called Sunwoo said instead of a greeting, his expression cold and intimidating. 

“Of course,” you nodded and got the bottle out, while the other of the two—Jacob?—nudged him in the side.

“No need to be so grim to someone who has nothing to do with this, hm?” He said, almost teasingly, before turning to you with an apologetic smile. “Make that two.”

It didn’t take long for your boss to come out and you were excused as soon as you’d gotten their drinks. You almost felt a little guilty as you made your way down the street to the corner where Haknyeon was waiting. He greeted you with a smile and a wave as if nothing happened.

“So, who are they?” He asked, probably thinking he was sounding all casual. 

“Hm?” you feigned ignorance. “Who?”

“The two men that came in.”

“You saw them?”

“Well, they basically came in the second I was out. Why weren’t they asked to go?”

You didn’t know what to tell him. You didn’t know any details, but it also wasn’t like you knew nothing. There were their names, and the black briefcase they brought. But what if the moment you told Haknyeon he would drop you like a hot potato? What if the moment you’d give him the information you had you would lose all value to him? And then you’d be left with nothing. 

“Just old friends of my boss,” you replied vaguely. The generous tip you’d received before leaving felt impossibly heavy in your pocket. 

“Hm,” Haknyeon nodded slowly, thoughtfully, as if he didn’t quite believe that that was all. But then his sweet, sweet smile was back. “I see.”

It got quiet between the two of you, and with the silence your fear of losing him got impossibly louder. It didn’t matter that you never even had him in the first place. 

The back of his hand brushed against yours, a faint accidental touch. “Sorry,” he said with a light chuckle. But you weren’t a coward this time, though maybe rather than bravery it was desperation that made you act. You grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. His skin felt chapped around his knuckles, but it was as warm as you remembered it to be.

“It’s okay,” you replied and your voice came out weaker than anticipated, afraid that he would pull away. But instead he squeezed your hand with a happy little hum, before slipping your intertwined fingers into the pocket of his coat. He held on tightly, his thumb drawing slow patterns onto your skin.

When the two of you reached your apartment, you lingered for a moment. Neither of you said anything and yet neither of you showed any intention to let go either. Somehow it felt so scary to part, as if this fragile thing you hoped existed between the two of you would break if you said goodbye for the night. So you didn’t.

“You can come up,” you said without meeting his gaze. “If you want.”

He hesitated for a second, searching for eye contact. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Another beat passed and you thought this would be it, he would draw the line and leave.

“Okay,” he whispered. 

He followed you upstairs and waited patiently until you’d unlocked the door to your apartment. Then, for a moment, you both stood in silence in your dark hallway. You didn’t turn on the light. You just looked at him through the darkness, the faint light coming in from the windows reflecting in his eyes. You moved a little closer, your gaze dropping to his lips before coming up again. Your heart was racing in your chest, nervous about his next move, anxious he would back out. He stepped in too, until his breath was tangible on your skin but he didn’t close the remaining distance just yet. There was a tension in his jaw as he examined your face, as if he was holding himself back.

“Are you sure?” he asked again.

“I’m sure,” your voice was soaked with impatience, sounding almost forceful.

He looked at you for another long second. But then his hand came up to lift your chin and he finally kissed you, crushing into you as if he’d been hungry for this, for you. When he pulled away you were breathless, shaky hands clinging to the fabric of his shirt.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while,” he mumbled into your lips.

“Me too. And I still want to do it more.”

He chuckled and there was a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that you found unbearably attractive. “Not satisfied yet, huh?” He licked his lips. “I like that.”

“Fuck,” you hissed without even meaning to, and it just drew another little laugh from him.

You stumbled backwards through the hallway, one of your hands feeling for the handle of your bedroom door while the other one was still holding onto Haknyeon, pulling him along with you. As soon as you’d managed to press down the handle, Haknyeon reached up above you and pushed the door open, too impatient to wait for you to open the door. You almost tripped over backwards with the door suddenly moving behind you, but his arm quickly came around your waist to steady you and pull you against him. 

“Careful there,” he whispered before his lips captured yours again. His fingers sneaked underneath the hem of your shirt, a tight grip on soft skin. “Can’t have you getting hurt.”

He walked you backwards until your legs hit your bed and then he carefully lowered you onto the mattress, hands on your lower back keeping you from falling. The moment your back hit the soft mattress he followed suit, hovering above you, his arms propped up on either side of your head. Neither of you made a move, just taking a moment to really look at each other. His eyes were dark and pretty and his lips looked plush and so very kissable.

“You’re beautiful,” you whispered without thinking, only realizing that maybe he would have preferred handsome after the words were already out. 

But Haknyeon just smiled, crinkles forming in the corners of his eyes. “Funny, I was going to say the same thing.” 

He brushed a strand of hair out of your face and then he kissed you again and again, lips slowly wandering down to your neck. His hands wandered back to your hips, pushing up your shirt and you automatically raised your arms to help him slip it off. He made quick work of your bra after that, and you would have thought you’d feel exposed, but his warm hands made you feel safe instead. You realized then, that you were in too deep. The way he touched you and the way he looked at you made your chest feel so full and there was no doubt in your heart that you were in love with him, even if it was all just a game on his part.

“Hak?”

“Mhm?” He looked up at you with curious eyes.

“You won’t leave me behind, will you?” you whispered, knowing all too well that there was no way you could trust his answer. After all, you couldn’t even trust that the name you called him was really his. Still, even if it all meant nothing, at least for tonight you wanted to indulge in the delusions that this was something real. “You won’t let go, right?”

His grip on you tightened, as if to prove that he wouldn’t. “Never,” he replied and his eyes looked so genuine that you almost believed him. “I won’t.”

The delusions didn’t last you very long—in fact, they left with the first rays of the morning sun. 

“I'm—maybe I'm not who you think I am,” Haknyeon started tentatively, mumbling the words into the back of your neck as if he didn’t have the bravery to say them to your face. You’d hoped this conversation wouldn’t come this early. Maybe he felt guilty, now that he’d slept with you. Maybe he’d realized he’d taken it too far and wanted to call it off. His arm stayed wrapped around you though, and you tried to find some reassurance in that.

“It's okay, Hak,” you whispered.

He paused, seemingly unsure what to make of your response. “What do you mean?”

A lump was in your throat and it felt hard to speak. You were scared, you realized. “I had my suspicions from the moment you walked in,” you pressed out, trying to make it sound light and casual as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if you weren’t anxious he’d throw you away after using you. “Did you really think you were being subtle? You can't come to a place like that looking so proper."

“Oh.” He huffed a laugh. "Didn't play my role that well, did I?"

“No. I don’t think my boss has any suspicions though.”

“I mean, that’s good to hear. But I’m not really worried about your boss right now, to be honest.”

“What are you worried about then?”

He shifted behind you, propping himself up on his other arm, to be able to look at you.

“You.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

He almost seemed offended, you could think that. “I didn’t think you were.” 

 “Then what?” You frowned.

“I’m worried about what you’re thinking now. About me, about the situation.”

“It’s not like I can change it,” you replied, unable to meet his gaze. “And it’s my fault too. I knew you were just getting close to me for the information, but I still let you in.”

“I didn’t just—It’s more complicated than that,” he protested.

“How so?”

“Because—,” he hesitated for a second, his eyes searching your face for something, but then he still continued despite not finding it. “Because I actually like you, y/n. I’m serious about you and about all the things I said yesterday."

You just stared at him wide eyed, unable to register his words.

“I know it’s hard to trust me under these circumstances. And I—I can’t tell you everything, not even now. But I can tell you the most important truth: I like you.”

“For real?” You’d been hoping for this kind of outcome the whole time, but now that it seemed to be true it felt hard to grasp. “Even without everything that’s been going on?”

He smiled. “Especially without everything that’s been going on. And definitely still after it’s all resolved.” 

“Let’s resolve it quickly, then,” you said with your voice trembling, before you turned to wrap your arms around him and snuggle into his chest. “I want it to be over quickly.”

He let himself fall back into the pillows and pulled you on top of him. “Yeah, me too.”

“Hak?” you mumbled a few days later, all cuddled up on your couch together.

“Mhm?” he hummed, the low sound vibrating in his chest.

“It’s not your real name, is it? Haknyeon I mean—it’s fake, right?”

“Why are you asking? You want to call me by my real name?”

“Is that so weird?” 

“No, it’s not weird at all. But I like it when you call me Hak.”

You propped yourself up to look at him. “Do you?”

“I do.” He smiled, his hand coming up to brush a strand of hair out of your forehead. “It feels special because you’re the only one who calls me like that. It feels like a nickname just between us.”

You felt like melting at his words, but there was also this odd feeling that maybe he was just saying this because he didn't want to tell you the truth. “So, you won’t tell me?”

“No, I can,” he whispered, lifting his head to leave a peck on your lips. “I can easily tell you.” He kissed you again.

“So?”

“It’s He Nian.”

“That’s pretty.”

“Mhm,” he hummed, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. “My dad chose it for me.”

He said it casually, as if it wasn’t anything special, but to you it felt big. It was the first time he’d mentioned his family at all and it made your chest fill with warmth. Surely, this once again proved that he trusted you, right? That he was opening up to you.

Since Haknyeon had decided to trust you with his identity, you decided to trust him too. He wouldn’t leave you, even when he no longer needed you to get to your boss, so there was no real reason anymore not to spill everything. You told him what you knew, and even though the information was rather limited, it seemed to be helpful. And more than that, there seemed to be other ways in which you could be helpful to the operation.

“We need his books,” Haknyeon admitted to you, when you were sitting on your couch together, cuddled up and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket.

“His books?”

“Yeah. We can easily get the official ones, but there has to be more, there have to be books with the actual money transfers.”

“And that’s where I come in?”

He seemed uncomfortable with the blunt question. “To be honest, I would prefer to keep you out of it. But we’re out of options. Once we get a warrant his connections are sure to tell him. He would know beforehand and get rid of all traces. But without those books it will be very hard to catch him.”

“So now…you want me to steal it?”

“Not exactly—rather than that it’d be making sure they don’t disappear?”

“I—I don’t know,” you admitted. You wanted to help but you had no clue how you could possibly make that work out.

“It’s okay,” Haknyeon quickly reassured. “Don’t feel pressured. If you want, you can also meet up with the team first, hear the plan, and decide then?”

You nodded slowly, trying to think about it realistically. Maybe that was a good idea. You could still back out if it seemed too dangerous.

Meeting his team was intimidating. Somehow it all felt so serious and of course you knew it was, you’d known it from the first time you’d seen Jacob and Sunwoo set foot into the bar. But now that you really saw that special agents and all that were involved, now that you had proof that Haknyeon had indeed come to the bar to investigate, it felt a lot more scary. He seemed to feel your nerves as you stood in front of the door to the meeting room.

“You’re not the criminal here, you know that right?” He said with an encouraging grin, gently squeezing your hand.

“Sorry, I know, it’s just—I was never involved with the police before, it’s scary.”

“Well, we’re not exactly the police—”

“That’s not helping!” You playfully boxed him into the shoulder and he yelped dramatically, acting as if it had actually hurt.

“I wasn’t aware it was bring-your-lover-to-work-day,” someone suddenly commented and your head snapped around to the tall man standing behind you with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t be like that, Hyunjae,” Haknyeon complained but there didn’t seem to be any bad blood between them.

“I mean, I don’t care, but maybe tone it down a little once we’re inside. I don’t think everyone will like it if you involve personal matters.”

The words did nothing to make you feel better about the situation, but Haknyeon didn’t seem all that worried about it. 

“Yes, yes,” he easily agreed as if the comment went in one ear and out the other. “Let’s just go in for now, I don’t want to get a penalty for being late.”

When you stepped inside there were already a bunch of agents there, but when a guy called Eric complained about you being late, Haknyeon simply brushed it off, saying it hadn’t even been 5 minutes yet.

“He’s right,” one of them agreed, before adding with a grin, “and Joe and Younghoon aren’t here yet anyway, so they’ll have to pay the penalty.” You didn’t need to be introduced to realize that the guy speaking must have been the boss among these guys; there was just a certain aura to him that made it very clear. He introduced himself anyway, the firm handshake and the title senior agent before his name—Lee Sangyeon—proving your suspicions to be right.

Despite not everyone being there, you all sat down and he gave a brief overview of the plan, leaving out enough details in case you decided to back out but telling you enough so you could understand what was asked of you. Honestly, the way he explained it didn’t make it sound all that hard. All you were supposed to do was keep an eye on the safe in your boss’ back office shortly before the raid and give a signal should he try to get rid of any evidence. It  seemed doable and also not that risky, since someone would come to get you out the second you gave a sign.

“You don’t have to agree this easily,” Haknyeon assured when you shared your thoughts on it, “you can take your time to think it through.”

“No, it’s fine. If this helps resolve everything more quickly I’m willing to do it.”

Sangyeon smiled satisfiedly. “Perfect. We’ll fill you in on more details shortly before the raid—the less you know for now the better for both of us.”

Just then the door to the meeting room opened and a tall man came in, briefly apologizing for being late. After him followed another one and the second his gaze met yours you felt the blood freezing in your veins. Instinctively you reached for Haknyeon’s hand under the table, trying to find some sense of security in it. The guy who’d stepped in looked very different now, put together and upright in his ironed white shirt, but there was no mistaking it—he was one of the guys from the bar: Sunwoo.

Your stomach felt sick with fear but no one else seemed to share the sentiment, casually welcoming him in.

“You’ll never learn to be on time, will you, Joe?” Hyunjae asked with a small laugh and Sunwoo—Joe—just shrugged and plopped into one of the chairs.

Your grip on Haknyeon’s hand tightened and he threw you a small worried glance before clearing his throat.

“Since the basics are all clear now, I think it’s time for y/n to leave—can’t have her be late to work and get fired this close to D-Day, right?”

“Oh, sure,” Sangyeon dismissed you easily and only a few seconds later you were in the hallway, almost running down to the elevator.

“What’s gotten into you?” Haknyeon asked, trying to keep up.

You only replied once the elevator door had shut behind the two of you, safe from any nosy ears.

“Joe,” you pressed out, “He’s not—I’ve seen him before. He’s been at the bar.”

He seemed confused. “And?”

“No, Hak, he’s been at the bar.” Why didn’t he get it? “He isn’t who you think he is.”

Things finally seemed to click into place, but instead of sharing your panic, Hakyneon just smiled. “Ah, got it. You mean he’s Sunwoo.”

You stared at your boyfriend in horror. “You know?”

“Of course, I know. Y/n, he’s undercover.”

“Like you?” Something didn’t seem to add up but you couldn’t place it.

“Like me. But don’t tell anyone, not everyone here is in the know. Can’t ever be too careful with whom to trust, right?”

You tried to push the uneasy feeling in your guts aside. “But I can trust you, right?” You looked him straight in the eyes, trying to find a hint of something, anything in them. He didn’t shy away from your gaze.

“Of course.” He squeezed your hand. “I’m on your side.”

Only two weeks later you were back at their office, getting a run down of all the details you needed to know about the operation. The raid was supposed to take place a few days from now, but they suspected that your boss would probably get a tip before that and try to rid himself of any evidence. And that’s where you came in—you were supposed to keep your eyes open during work hours and report back if there was anything suspicious. They had some men tailing him too, but with how your boss was on high alert these days it would be too risky to have someone shadow him from inside the bar. Even Haknyeon wasn’t drinking at the counter anymore these days, only coming by to pick you up after work and see you home like the doting boyfriend he was. The whole plan seemed to be easy enough though and you didn’t feel too worried knowing that Haknyeon’s team would be ready to come in the second you gave a sign. 

Since your boyfriend was on duty to check equipment after the meeting, Younghoon was supposed to drive you home instead. Haknyeon didn’t seem exactly pleased about it and you were reminded of what he’d said last time, can’t ever be too careful with whom to trust, right? Younghoon, you supposed, was not among those he trusted. Sangyeon decided on it though, and Haknyeon didn’t refute him. 

You were already on your way to the parking garage, when you realized you’d forgotten your scarf back in the meeting room. Younghoon waited by the elevator while you rushed back. Surprisingly, the door was slightly ajar. Just when you were about to push it open, you heard voices from inside and instinctively moved aside so you wouldn’t be seen. 

“This will all work out, right?” Eric asked. So even he got nervous, it seemed. Then again, their part in all of this was surely a lot more nerve wracking than yours.

“What are you so worried for?” It was your boyfriend’s voice. “Didn’t we already win?”

“Exactly,” a low chuckle, “After all we have Haknyeon on our side. He plays the nastiest of all.” 

“Sunwoo knows what’s up.” When you risked a glance through the crack of the door, Haknyeon was grinning self-satisfied and there was a slyness in his expression that you’d only ever seen faint traces of. It made a shudder run down your spine, but inexplicably, you also found yourself being attracted to this version of him. You lingered for another second, spotting your scarf right there over the back of the chair you’d sat in, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go in. It felt like you’d heard something you weren’t supposed to hear. Something wasn’t quite right. You rushed back down the hallway to where Younghoon was waiting, confused when you showed up without your scarf. Once you were in the car, you pulled out your phone to find a message from Haknyeon. It was a picture of him, holding up your scarf into the camera. He looked so lovely and innocent and it made you want to forget all about the weird feelings from before.

guess what you forgot~ i’ll bring it over tonight<3

You were able to distract yourself from the conversation you'd overheard just fine during work, all your focus on your boss’ behavior, looking out for anything suspicious (there wasn’t anything, unless his awful aloha shirt counted as suspicious). But once your work shift was over and you saw Haknyeon waiting for you outside, your mind automatically wandered back to it. He greeted you by looping your scarf around your neck and pulling you into a kiss and it was so sweet and so romantic, and yet you couldn’t relax into it at all.

“Hey,” he said with a smile, not letting you go just yet.

“Hey,” you replied, unable to meet his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired, let’s get going?”

He didn’t seem convinced, but he reluctantly agreed, leaving a peck on your nose before taking you to his car and driving the two of you back to your place. As always, you realized, because not once had he offered to go to his place. When you'd asked about it before he'd said it was too dangerous and it would have to wait until things were over. You'd believed it then, but now you were feeling uneasy.

When you still hadn’t gotten more talkative even by the time you were cleaning up after dinner, Haknyeon tried asking about it again. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?” 

You contemplated for a second, watched him take off the rubber gloves and drain the sink after doing the dishes, but then you decided to just be honest. “I heard you.”

“Hm?” He tilted his head in confusion.

“Earlier at the office, I was going to grab my scarf, but you were talking.”

“Why didn’t you come in?” A small grin appeared on his lips. “Or did you perhaps want me to get the scarf for you? Like Cinderella’s slipper?” 

Either he really didn’t think of the conversation as something worth hiding, or he was damn good at pretending. You hoped for the former.

“It didn’t feel like I should. You—you said Joe’s undercover, right?”

“Right.”

“Like you?”

A small crinkle appeared between his eyebrows. “What are you getting at?”

“You called him Sunwoo earlier. And he called you Haknyeon—isn’t that weird?”

His features softened. “It’s not weird at all, y/n. We prepared our identities together for months, and sometimes it messes with your head a bit. It’s nothing to worry about, it’s just names.”

“Then why did you ask me who the two men were that night at the bar? You already knew one of them was Joe, so why did you ask me?”

Haknyeon drew in a sharp breath and scrunched up his face. He looked apologetic, but still not like he’d been caught doing something bad. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

“Tell me first, I’ll make up my mind after.”

“I know it’s not good, but I had to find out how much you knew. I couldn’t be sure yet to what extent your boss was telling you things and to what extent you might even be involved. I just had to make sure.”

You stared at him for a second. “You thought I was involved in his schemes?”

“Listen, there’s many reasons to get into shady business. I wouldn’t judge. But I needed to know.”

“Was that what you were hoping for when you got close to me? That I’d be involved? That I’d be a big fish?” Your voice sounded bitter and your features were harsh, but Haknyeon stepped a little closer, smoothing out your frown with soft hands.

“Don’t be silly, love. I wouldn’t care either way. It was never about catching a big fish. I just wanted to know how far I’d have to go to protect you.”

“Are you saying you would have gotten rid of evidence for me if I had been involved?”

“Yes. I would have. I'd keep you safe no matter what.” There wasn’t even a second of hesitation and his eyes on you were so open and honest, it was hard to hold his gaze. He was willing to go to such lengths for you, risk it all for you, and yet you’d doubted him over a silly little conversation you’d overheard. You leaned up to kiss him then, because what were you supposed to say to that other than I love you, but that seemed to be a little too much, even now. 

“Better not tell your team leader, though,” you teased, getting a chuckle out of him.

“Oh, I’m sure Sangyeon would understand.”

When you leaned in again you felt Haknyeon smiling into the kiss and into every kiss that followed that night.

It wasn’t until the day of the raid that your boss started acting weird. He seemed nervous, sweating heavily and telling you to close up and leave early even though it was barely evening. You were certain he’d been warned. 

“Are you sure I can go?” you asked, just a guise to peek your head into his office and see what he was up to. You’d already alerted Sangyeon and you knew it was only a matter of minutes until they’d be here, but you wanted to do your job right and ensure the safety of the books until they arrived.

Your boss’ head shot up at your words, as if he’d been caught doing something forbidden. And from the look of it he was; a folder of papers in one and a lighter in the other hand. You knew it had to be the information Haknyeon and his team were after. Without thinking you rushed in, grabbing the papers, and your boss, perplexed as he was, let you take them.

“What the fuck, y/n?” He hissed, angry veins pulsing on his forehead.

“You were about to cause a fire, Sir,” you pressed out. A weak excuse.

“And that is none of your business. Now, give those back, will you?”

You took a step back, your knuckles turning white from how tightly you held on.

“Y/n,” he opened a drawer in his desk and you had a feeling what he was going to pull out, “don’t make me repeat myself.”

You’d never stared into the barrel of a gun before, and you felt that it was an experience you would have rather missed. Still, you didn’t let go. If you did, it would have all been for nothing, right? And surely the others would be here any second—

“Y/n,” your boss repeated and the tone in his voice made your blood freeze. He walked around the  desk in your direction and you stumbled back, wondering if you were really going to die like this. It didn’t feel like the right way to go, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t even your mess to begin with. You squeezed your eyes shut as he stepped closer, trying to come up with a prayer to recite, but you’d never been religious and you didn’t know what to tell god now at the brink of death, except for I don’t want to die.

Suddenly, you heard the front door of the bar flying open and just a second later someone was behind you, pulling you aside before pushing past you, gun raised. Haknyeon.

“You mind putting that down?” He said with that cocky tone of his but your boss didn’t seem particularly impressed. He aimed at Haknyeon now, and you wanted to jump in to protect him but someone was holding you back. You closed your eyes and covered your ears, but you still heard the shot echoing through the bar. Tears were already brimming at your eyes when you blinked them open again, just to find Haknyeon standing above your boss, who was pressing his hands onto a bleeding wound on his thigh, gun somewhere on the floor, out of reach.

“Listen,” Haknyeon said with disdain, “I told you to put that away. But you wouldn’t listen and now we have this whole mess here and even have to call an ambulance for you. Couldn’t you have made things a little easier for us?”

“Fuck you,” your boss spat.

“Very articulate.” Haknyeon put his gun back into the holster strapped around his chest, Joe pointing his weapon at him instead while Hyunjae got his handcuffs out to arrest him. The arms holding onto you eased up too since you weren’t in danger of jumping in front of a bullet anymore, and only now you realized they’d belonged to Eric. He held up his hands in surrender when Haknyeon came back over to you, almost as if to say I didn’t touch her. But your boyfriend didn’t really have any eyes for him.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly, cupping your face to look at you. When he’d made sure there wasn’t a single scratch on you he pulled you into his chest. “You did so well,” he whispered into your hair. “It’s all over now.”

Eventually he had to let go again to do his job and secure the evidence from the office together with Joe, and you were left to stand at the side like a lost puppy. Your boss had already been dragged out and was currently receiving first aid from the medics that had arrived by now. You were still holding onto his papers, almost as if they’d become one with your fingers at this point.

“You can give these to me,” Younghoon commented, holding out his hand. You hesitated, unsure if you could trust him with this. It was important evidence after all, and if Haknyeon didn’t have faith in him, how could you?

“Don’t worry, I’ll take it from here,” Sangyeon suddenly interrupted, taking the papers from you instead. You knew there wasn’t any room for discussion since he was the team leader, so you let go.

It didn’t take much longer for things to wrap up after that. The most important evidence was secured and your boss had been escorted to the police station or the hospital or wherever else by Eric. The rest of Haknyeon’s team seemed to be getting ready to go, leaving the bar to some other officers and the crime scene cleaners. You were lost to wonder if you were allowed to just go home after everything that happened. You didn’t have to ponder for long though because suddenly Younghoon was nodding over to you as he spoke to one of his colleagues.

“Take her too, Changmin, I’m sure she can still help with the one or the other information on all of this.”

The guy, Changmin, walked over to you, handcuffs dangling from his belt. You knew they were the good guys, but you felt your guts churning with fear. It sounded like they were suspecting you, even after you’d put yourself in danger to support them. Instinctively, you glanced over to Haknyeon, maybe for help or maybe just for assurance that nothing was going to happen. He met your gaze with a nod, a small sign not to worry. 

“I’ll take her,” he said, stepping in front of you before Changmin could reach you. You let out a sigh of relief.

Younghoon looked at Haknyeon with a frown, clearly not very fond of that plan. You could understand that—surely everyone was aware of the relationship Haknyeon and you had gotten into and of course that would impact Haknyeon’s impartiality. Just when Younghoon opened his mouth to object, Sangyeon put a hand on the tall man’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine,” he said. “Let him take her. I’m sure she’ll be more willing to talk to us if she isn’t frightened on the whole ride.”

No one seemed to dare to disagree so Haknyeon led you to his car, his hand at the small of your back. He nodded when the two of you walked past his boss, whispering a quick “Thanks, Sang.” It was just a small interaction, but there was no doubt in your mind that these two must’ve been close. There was this sense of absolute trust between them, that Haknyeon didn’t seem to share with too many of his colleagues. 

He opened the passenger door of his black company car for you and even went as far as to buckle you up, before he did the same for himself and started the motor, following behind two other cars that Younghoon, Changmin, Hyunjae and some other of their colleagues had gotten into. As you stared through the windshield, all you could think of was what would happen once you’d arrived. Landing in some dark interrogation room and being bombarded with a zillion questions you didn’t know the answer to was a frightening concept. Of course Haknyeon was with you now, but surely, as your boyfriend, he wouldn't be allowed  to stick around for questioning. 

Haknyeon seemed to notice that you were feeling tense, glancing over to you with an encouraging smile. “You have nothing to worry about. I won’t leave you alone,” he said, taking one of his hands off the steering wheel to find your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. The touch felt intimate and warm and it helped in making you feel a little more grounded; at least until you realized that you weren’t following the cars ahead anymore. Instead Haknyeon took the exit to the freeway, speeding up the moment you’d left the smaller road behind. 

“Hak, where are we going?”

“Don’t worry,” he said instead of answering your question. “Do you want to listen to some music? We can turn on the radio.”

“Hak,” you repeated with more force. “Where the fuck are we going?” 

Through the side mirror, you spotted Sangyeon’s black car behind you, Joe in the passenger seat. But the cars that had been ahead of you, were now nowhere to be seen.

“It’s all good, I promise. Just trust me.”

“If all is good then why aren’t you telling me?” 

He sighed, a frown on his face as he stared out the windshield and contemplated what to tell you. “You know how I said that I couldn’t tell you the whole truth?”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. “I remember.”

“Maybe I wasn’t exactly undercover in the way you thought I was.”

You thought you’d already come to that conclusion, somewhere in the back of your mind. “So, you’re not a cop.” It wasn’t a question. 

“No.”

“What are you then? Who are you?”

“You know Jacob? He–uh–he’s my boss?”

“Oh fuck,” you breathed out, not because you were surprised, but because hearing it out loud made it so much worse, and really, what else was there to say except fuck? You’d always known Haknyeon was hiding things, but you’d wanted to believe it was because of his duty as a special agent, not because he was affiliated with some mafia type bullshit. You’d slept with him, thinking he was a good person. Even worse, you’d fallen in love with him. And now you weren’t sure if any of that still mattered, if any of the things between him and you held any meaning.

“Can you pull over?” You sounded like you were going to cry. You probably were.

“Not yet. We need to be sure first.”

“Sure of what?”

“That they aren’t tracking us down.”

“Oh, god.”

"I know, I know. But I can't let them have you."

"Hak, you do realize they are the good guys and I didn't do anything wrong, right? Well, not until now, I guess."

"Good guys? Yeah, sure, I guess so."

"What do you mean?"

"They aren’t your friendly neighborhood cops, y/n, though I'm sure there is enough to be said about those too. Anyway the point is they are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want. The end justifies the means and all that."

"Oh, you mean they are like you?"

"Sure, if you want to draw that comparison. But I would never hurt you."

You couldn’t help but scoff at that. "You already did."

"Y/n, I—"

But you didn’t want to hear what excuse he was going to make. "So, what do they want?"

"After today? Probably us; me, you, Sangyeon, Sunwoo. And Youngjae, once he's done with your boss." You didn’t bother asking who Youngjae was.

"So all of this was just a plot to get him?"

"Look, he's been a real pain in the ass for a while now. And he had some crucial information that we couldn’t just let anyone have. It was also a good chance to get rid of some other data they’ve collected on us."

“Was that all that ever mattered through all of this? Getting my boss, getting the information…” You didn’t like how frail your voice sounded. “Was everything bullshit on your part? Was I just a game to you?”

“No!” His head snapped around to you. “It was never a game. I swear my job was the only detail that I lied about.”

“That’s hardly just a detail, Haknyeon,” you scoffed. Your gaze fell onto the side mirror once more, watching the car behind you to keep your eyes from wandering to the man beside you. “What about them? So they are the same?”

“Sangyeon and Sunwoo? Yeah.”

“Of course,” you let out a huff, “there was no way his name was actually Joe. I fucking knew it.”

Haknyeon chuckled. “He doesn’t look like a Joe.”

“Don’t laugh. This is not a funny situation. I’m watching my life crumble before my eyes right now. You lied to me about everything. I don’t even know—What about your name? Haknyeon, He Nian—was that all bullshit too? Is either of them even your real name?”

The little smile on his face looked soft, unfitting for the reality you were finding yourselves in. “Both of them are, in a way. I didn’t want you calling me by a name that wasn’t mine.” 

“So, I guess you were at least honest about one thing, huh?” You sounded bitter.

“I was honest about most things, you just keep pointing out the other bits.”

“Because those are the ones that matter.” You didn’t know what to believe anymore. There was a feeling of unbearable hurt and anger bubbling inside of you, the betrayal stabbing you like a knife, and yet a part of you wanted to hold on, cling onto the little hope that despite everything you could have faith in him. “You said I can trust you. That you’re on my side.”

“I am on your side.”

“How can you say that? I’m a rat in your trap and you expect me to trust you of all people to get me out?”

“It’s not like that—”

“Haknyeon, for all I know we’re running from the cops right now!”

He forced a laugh. “Yeah, that looks pretty bad.”

“Pretty bad?!”

“But, in my defense, I did say that I couldn’t tell you the whole truth yet.”

“Well, I didn’t think the truth was this.”

“I—,” he started, but his voice broke, cutting him off. You knew he was a good liar, but when you glanced over and saw tears brimming in his eyes you didn’t think this was merely an act. “You made me promise not to let you go,” he pressed out, “so was I just supposed to break that promise then?”

“How can that still count—I didn’t even know anything. If I had known I wouldn’t have—” You didn’t finish the sentence, unsure if you meant what you were going to say.

Haknyeon stared at the road ahead, a bitter smile on his lips. “Maybe I should have asked you instead, if you were going to leave me behind.”

He sounded so genuinely hurt and it just felt unfair, because clearly all of this was his fault. You shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of mess. “Don’t do this,” you choked out, your voice quivering. “Don’t push the guilt onto me.”

His grip around the steering wheel tightened, turning his knuckles white. It was clear that he hated all of this as much as you did, even if he was to blame. Maybe because he was to blame. 

“I know,” he said, “I know that it’s my fault, I know it was selfish to get close to you. I shouldn’t have approached you in the first place. It’s just—I hoped it wouldn’t matter.”

“How could it not? How could you think I’d be okay with any of this, how could you be so delusional?”

“Because I love you,” He briefly glanced at you, eyes oh, so desperate, before turning back to the road, “I love you and I hoped you feel the same. But maybe I—”

“Stop it,” you interrupted, your voice weak and tired, “I can’t talk about this anymore. Just let me breathe for a moment.”

He pressed his lips shut and he didn’t try to say anything else for the rest of the ride. You didn’t say anything either. Instead, you just watched the scenery pass by in silence, too scared to look at him, too scared to feel empathy for him when all you wanted to feel was anger. 

You weren’t sure for how long you drove and you didn’t care either, but by the time Haknyeon pulled into a driveway it was the middle of the night. He stopped the motor, and with the headlights off it was pitch black outside, only a brief flash of light crossing Haknyeon’s features when the other car pulled into the lot as well. Sangyeon and Sunwoo got out and Haknyeon gestured for them to go on ahead when they passed his window.

“We’re here,” he said without looking at you.

You wanted to tell him that you didn’t know what here meant, but you also couldn’t find it in you to bother.

“So, what now?”

“We’ll find you a place to sleep,” he said, “and then as soon as we have the confirmation that it’s safe, you can go home.”

“I can go home?” You looked at him in surprise. Obviously that was good news, but in your head you’d already accepted the dire fate of never being able to go back again—though, you weren’t sure how dire it really was, since there wasn’t anything or anyone waiting for you anyway.

“I made sure you’d be able to. I’ve changed the name and address in the data they had on you, and since your boss wasn’t doing any proper book keeping and never signed a proper contract with you, it was easy to erase your traces from the bar. So, as soon as we made sure they don’t have anything else leading them back to you, you can go.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I know you don’t think very highly of me anymore, and I can’t blame you. But I meant it when I said I’d keep you safe no matter what. I would never put you in danger. Even if you don’t want me.”

You felt yourself choke up, overwhelmed with everything that had been said and done today, and unable to really grasp the heaviness of the situation. “Okay,” you pressed out again, trying your best not to cry.

Haknyeon led you into the building. It was mostly dark, but you still heard voices everywhere. Twice you ran into some guys dressed all in black and despite the friendly nod they gave Haknyeon, you found their appearances frightening. You instinctively inched closer to him and when he noticed he put his arm around your shoulders, a small gesture to make you feel safe.

After a while he stopped at a door and pushed it open. You didn’t know what you'd expected but it wasn’t a simple bedroom.

"You can stay here for the night. We'll have to talk to Jacob sometime but it can wait until tomorrow. Just rest first."

You nodded slowly, your eyes wandering through the small bedroom. It didn't look shabby but there wasn’t much aside from a twin size bed, a nightstand and a small table.

"What about you?"

"Me?" He looked surprised. "I have a place upstairs. You can text me if something is the matter, I'll be here in a minute. You can also lock the door if you want." He gestured towards the key that was stuck in the door from the inside. You nodded again and it got quiet, both of you unsure what else to say. The thought of staying here alone frightened you. There were too many people here that you didn’t know and after everything that had happened to you today you felt anxious and restless.

"So, I'll take my leave then?" Haknyeon sounded a little helpless, unable to tell if he should leave you alone or not. Clearly you were tense. But you'd been so angry with him, rightfully so, and he wasn’t sure if his presence could do anything to ease you.

"Sure," you pressed out with a hoarse voice. But when he turned to the door you found yourself holding onto the fabric of his black shirt that was tucked into his pants. "Can I go?" 

"I'll get you home as soon as possible but—"

"To your room."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Huh?"

"Can I go upstairs with you?"

"Are you sure?"

"I—I don't really know if I can trust you, but I do believe you when you promise you won’t ever hurt me and that's more than I can say for anyone else in this building." Your grip around the fabric of his shirt tightened. "So can you just make me feel safe tonight?"

His expression visibly softened. "Of course."

Haknyeon had a tiny one room apartment upstairs and even though it was kept rather simple as well you immediately felt a little more relaxed there. Maybe because it smelled like him or because there was one of his hoodies draped over the back of a chair. It was just a bit more homely.

He got out a loose shirt for you to sleep in and you went to the bathroom to change. It was a little silly, he'd long seen everything there was to see, but things were different now. You felt more vulnerable.

"I don't have a couch, though," he mumbled with a small gaze to the bed when you came back out.

"I didn't think there was going to be one."

"Okay," he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. He seemed a lot shyer now than you'd ever seen him. "You can go to bed first, I'll wash up real quick."

You slipped under the blankets the moment he disappeared in the bathroom. Even after everything, the scent of him made you feel at ease. You must have slipped into a light sleep eventually, because when you opened your eyes again Haknyeon was sitting on the mattress, hair still a little wet from his shower.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" He whispered. You shook your head.

"Aren’t you going to lay down?" You asked when he still didn’t move from his spot after a few more seconds.

"No, no, I am. Just—You know I mean it when I say I'm really sorry, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I know that but—"

"It's okay," he interrupted. "You don't have to forgive me. It's fine as long as you know." 

"Hak—," you started but you didn’t know what to say. 

"It's okay," he whispered again as he slipped under the blankets, keeping a small distance between you. It was just a few centimeters, but it felt impossibly far away. You didn’t like it. You were craving his warmth and the feeling of his arms around you.

Of course you hated what he'd done, the secrets, the lies, the manipulation. He'd destroyed the idea you'd had of the two of you and your future together. But did that really mean you couldn’t have him in your future at all? What if you still wanted him to be part of your life despite everything?

“I do love you,” you pressed out without thinking, continuing the conversation you had on the drive here. “I did."

There was a strangled noise coming from him at the correction, but you didn’t dare to meet his gaze to see if he was crying. You were already tearing up, even without looking at him.

"It just feels a little hard to talk about love if I don’t even know you.”

“But you do know me. You know me better than most," he said, "and if there's any chance that you still want me and if my word is still worth anything, I promise I won’t keep secrets from here on out."

"I don't know," you started, your voice breaking and tears spilling out. 

The second he saw you crying he pulled you into his arms, and you let him, crumbling into his tight embrace. "It's all your fault," you sobbed into his chest.

"Yeah, I know," he whispered against the crown of your head, his own voice trembling "I'm sorry."

"You destroyed everything."

"I'm sorry."

"But I still want you, even now, I still want to be with you."

His arms around you tightened and you felt the way he let out a shaky breath, as if he'd been choking this whole time and only now finally got some air into his lungs again. "I'll make it up to you. And I won't lie again."

"You better keep your word," you replied, your hands clinging to his back.

"I will." He kissed the crown of your head. "I promise I will."

masterlist

[lovereist]

— 𖦹 ▸ ♡̶͟ ͟ ۫ love me ਓ

[mo-notmoe]

SO HAPPY WELCOME BACK ERIC!!!

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙