#The Bad Guys of the San Luis valley

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Ok @convenientalias pointed out that I could just order the book this was based on through interlibrary loan so I have now seen it. I won't say I read it, because as it turns out I hate it and I don't think I'll be able to make myself finish it, but I read the first 25 pages properly and skimmed the rest. It answered a lot of questions and raised other ones.

It was originally published in parts as a newspaper serial, so the chapters are very sensational and chaotic and kind of disjointed. A lot of my "why is it Like That" questions are answered by "it's a serial from 1919".

Pierre's backstory is Like That in the movie because it's being narrated by his priest mentor who's transparently in love with him. The book opens with this guy monologuing at a friend about how cool and strong and pure of heart and brave and godly and innocent Pierre is. And then he has a bit where he says he's avoiding spending too much time with Pierre because his emotions are Too Much and he can't afford to tie Pierre down with them.

Yes everyone in this book is in love with Pierre. It's the himbo charm.

Remember how confused I was about Pierre's incredibly long journey across Mexico? They did change that, but not the distance part, just his starting point. In the book he grew up in Canada. Thus the French name. That's right, he's from Canada. Yes, he travels all the way from Canada to the "mountain desert" (San Luis valley??? Maybe??) and it's kind of glossed over. He did kill his horse and have to buy another one. Don't worry about it. "Why Canada?" Why not? It's very funny to me that they were like, we can't have him be Canadian, that's too much. He grew up in Mexico now. But we should totally keep the impossible distance he travels to visit his dying father so let's put him DEEP in Mexico. Just to preserve that air of "how the fuck did he travel that far in that amount of time". It's important to the story you know.

Neither origin really affects Pierre for the rest of the story. He's no more Mexican than he was Canadian.

The dialogue that I felt was awkward is Like That because it was lifted verbatim from the book. It was just awkward sounding in the original book also and they changed nothing.

Jack isn't the endgame love interest in the book like she is in the movie. In the book she has an unrequited crush on Pierre, who finds her too butch to be attracted to and thinks of her like a brother. (👎I agree with the movie director on this one. Jack/Pierre 4 ever.)

In the book, Pierre falls in love with a flirtatious girl named Mary (she's originally 14, I think there's a time skip and she'd be 16 when they run off together?) who he first meets trapped under a fallen tree that he can't move so obviously he has to lie down next to her so the magic cross luck will protect them both. And it. KINDA does? Nobody died but he was knocked unconscious and rolled down the mountain, and that's how Jim's gang found him in the book. Makes sense. I mean, none of the rest of it makes sense, but I understand why he was unconscious enough to be picked up and moved to a secondary location now.

I know Mary is 14 in this scene because she keeps mentioning it, saying it's too bad that she's too young for Pierre, and then flirting with him a lot anyway. So. This is just Max Brand's Underage Kink: The Character. (I think she might get more character development later but I was out of patience for reading this book. Idk she cries a lot.)

Anyways Jack is just a guy with a complicated gender, obviously she loses in the love interest battle to The Author's Thinly Disguised Fetish, who Arrives in the Most Contrived Porn Plot Way Possible. RIP Jack.

A lot of this book is just angst and love triangle drama about Jack being in love with Pierre who is in love with Mary and feels like Jack is like his brother while Mary is trying to flirt with Pierre while being thwarted by Jack. I hate it. I'm not reading all that.

Vaguely interesting gender discussion but it's THIS BOOK so it doesn't really progress past "wow Jack is boy but also girl??? *Confused 1919 noises* surely no one person can both shoot gun and be beautiful!"

Jack ends the book with Pierre's cursed cross necklace thing and there's a sequel about her continuing to be tragic and plagued by bad luck. Why can't anything good happen to her oh my God

I'm not sure if the backstory about McGurk being Pierre's biological father is in the book. Wild if they made that up for the movie?? You made me look at McGurk unbuttoning his fly with NO book basis? You just wanted to do that??

Thrift store Westerns I've never heard of part 2!

SHOOT FIRST AND PRAY YOU LIVE (Because Luck Has Nothing to Do With It) is an indie film from 2009 and winner of the independent spirit award at Santa Fe Film Festival, apparently. Wikipedia says it was based on the novel Luck by Max Brand. It's got everything! It's got maybe in fact too much going on! It's got split screen, it's got a brief animated sequence, it's got so many fucking flashbacks.

Opens with this, which I find very funny for some reason:

While we're on disclaimers, my quotations are summarized and not exact bc I am not going over ever few seconds of this movie. Also this movie is rated R so assume Yes for most common western content warnings.

Very GBU intro with about 10 seconds of empty street, a surprise close-up and then a tense shootout that we'll only have context for later. I hope.

The first real scene introducing our main character (Red Pierre) is a very gory shootout in a saloon. The shots themselves are fast and then we get a blow-by-blow of exactly where each of the 3 shots fired went. Lots of squirting blood from exploded arteries. I respect it but also was deliberately not looking at the screen too hard for like a solid 30 seconds or so lol. Red's first shot was shooting his opponent's thumb off, so he pulled a Silence a la The Great Silence. However in this case it was not simply a disabling move bc he did just keep shooting and murder those 2 guys. also. so. not sure what the point of that was.

Then he turns around and makes awkward eye contact with the only other guy who hasn't left the saloon, an old man who makes a high-pitched sound and goes 'I didn't see anything! Actually, no, I saw everything and you were totally in the right hahaha don't even worry about it....' Red asks if he has a horse and he stammers that he's got a burro and Red is welcome to take it. "My horse died, or I wouldn't ask," Red clarifies awkwardly, before escaping with the old man's burro. It's now night, Red frees a Mexican man whom some nasty gang members were hanging from a tree as a form of torture. Red waits at the tree, presumably waiting for these guys to show up so he can kill them? idk. He falls asleep immediately and wakes up being guarded by the daughter of the aforementioned gang leader.

fuckin womp womp sound effect plays as he realizes what happened. My guy what did you expect? Why did you go to sleep at the Local Asshole Gang's Designated Torture Tree?

STOP LOOKING SURPRISED YOU HAD TO KNOW THEY WERE COMING BACK.

Anyways the gang leader's son just got killed and then he saw Red and was like, oh yeah I hear he's killed people. Good enough! New son figure and new gang member to fill the empty seat at the table! (Everyone thinks this is a terrible idea, especially gun girl. Red is like 'you're right, what a terrible idea, I'll just... leave.... *gun pointed at him threateningly* ok or not or I'll just sit here I guess')

There's a bit where the camera zooms in on individual gang members and names them. There is no way I am remembering all 5 of these guys at once. The girl's name is Jack though. Cool. Her dad is a creep and does not seem to like her much He does, he just gets really weird dialogue. idk, I have mixed but not very coherent feelings about how Jack is handled in this movie like, generally. Anyways gang leader Jim Payne comments that Red is 'older than I thought, but young enough for what I want to make of you.' He then goes on a rant about how when he was Red's age he had a mentor who shaped him into the man he is now and he's going to be that person for Red.

Red is....

Deeply confused by all this?? but willing to roll with it for his own agenda. If the gang helps him out with some Mysterious Tasks he needs to accomplish, he'll join them willingly. Payne is delighted to hear it. The first task is burying Red's dead father. Everyone chews on some loco weed and gets high as shit before setting off on this long journey (except for Knife Guy, who I guess is loco enough without the weed and thus declines it.)

TWENTY YEARS AGO (we are getting an extended flashback)

Pierre's dad, who is now dead and needs to be buried, was having an affair with Red Pierre's mom. Bob McGurk and the other guys Red wants to revenge kill show up at his mom's house and shoot some guy and assault her. (I thought the guy they shot was her dad but eventually, in a later flashback, we find out it was just like. some other dude she happened to know, and that the killers thought it was Red's dad). She swears to kill them all and eventually manages to kill the sheriff, leaving 2 others for someone else to please take care of.

Red Pierre's dad simply can't, because he is wearing a sweater. He can't shoot no one! Not in a sweater! Despite his extended musings about what a terrible man he was and how he's going to hell, he's apparently just not a shooting man, thus letting his girlfriend be tortured by the local gang for months (yes this went on for Months before she managed to stab the sheriff.) He's also not a "raising my illegitimate son" type apparently, so he drops the kid off at a random Mexican mission to be raised by the friars.

the subtitles helpfully provide pronunciation. Also, THIS PLACE IS LIKE 900 MILES FROM THE BORDER? IS THIS WHOLE MOVIE TAKING PLACE FULLY INSIDE MEXICO (IF SO WHY IS ALMOST EVERYONE WHITE AND SPEAKING AMERICAN ACCENTED ENGLISH) AND IF NOT, DID THIS GUY RIDE 900 MILES TO DROP OFF THE KID HE DIDN'T WANT TO RAISE SOMEWHERE HE WOULD NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER FIND HIS WAY BACK???? WHAT'S HAPPENING. WHY ISN'T RED SPEAKING SPANISH IF HE WAS RAISED DEEP IN CENTRAL MEXICO. HOW DID WE GET HERE. HOW DID WE GET ANYWHERE. WHY ARE YOU SO INSISTENT ABOUT THIS SPECIFIC GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. LIke don't get me wrong it's a very cool geographical location but what is happening.

Anyways, Red's dying mother whispered something (I thought it was her murderous plans but it will later be revealed that I was wrong about this) into his baby ears as he lay in her dying arms and now he's gotta go murder the bad guys that terrorized his mom but first must bury his illegitimate dad who was nice to his mom but did not protect her from the other guys and also did not claim or raise him bc the dad was married to some other unseen unnamed woman who is presumably also dead now I guess bc she's just not ever going to come up. Simple! I'm so confused. The priest who raised Red after he got yeeted 900 miles south into Mexico has a monologue about raising his beloved child and WAIT HOLY SHIT IT'S ANIMATED NOW. WE'RE HAVING AN ANIMATED SEQUENCE???

I swear to God I am not making this movie up. delightful. what is happening ever. anyways no wonder Red just goes "this might as well happen" about acquiring a new father figure in Payne, he has so many fuckingn dads already...

The priest is like 'yeah I didn't even try to raise him to be a good Christian I knew he was destined to be a total badass adn beat people the fuck up so I taught him to fight bobcats and grizzly bears and climb trees and catch fish with his teeth and shit. bc I'm cool'

The priest then coyly mentions that Pierre is too much of a badass in the boxing ring and nobody wants to fight him, so he uses him as a form of penance on sinners by making them box this violent child and get beat up.

THIS IS NOT THE SAME MAN? THIS IS NOT OUR GUY? DID HE LOSE ALL HIS PIGMENTATION AS HE MATURED. DID A GRIZZLY BEAR BITE ALL THE BROWN OUT OF HIS HAIR AND NOW IT'S RED? WHAT HAPPENED. THIS IS NOT A RED HAIRED BLUE EYED KID. IS OUR CURRENT GUY NOT RED PIERRE? IS HE ACTUALLY SOME OTHER DUDE? IS RED PIERRE (THE REAL ONE) GOING TO SHOW UP LATER??? WHAT'S HAPPENING. (This kid is a very good actor and a good fighter by the way, but he is not a good double for the guy he is allegedly the child version of.)

His opponent mumbles "que diablo" as he's getting knocked out with the most American pronunciation I've ever heard. I don't even know Spanish that well adn I can tell that's some extremely American Spanish. also

thank God we're free of the flashback. We've been here so long. No specific time given bc that would require me going back through this and I don't want to reexperience it.

...My theory about this flashback is it's showing us in realtime how Red's story becomes a legend (part of the intro featured a guy telling us and a bunch of children a story about The Legend Of Red Pierre so Storytelling is like, a Theme.) I guess? It would explain why current Red is kind of a sweet awkward quiet kid and flashback Red is Paul Bunyan if he was a ginger (but only sometimes.)

aww novice Red is so cute.

YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SHOW ME A MAP MONTAGE? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO REMIND ME OF THE 900 MILE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOUR STATED CURRENT SETTING AND WHERE THE REST OF THIS MOVIE SUPPOSEDLY TAKES PLACE? YOU WANT ME TO THINK ABOUT DISTANCE IN THIS MOVIE?? ARE YOU SURE

oh my god we get another different flashback about Red's mom Irene now and. His dad fully was there the day that the gang killed that other guy and assaulted her. he had a gun. he had the drop on them. he... ran awayyy! It haunted him. Finally, years later, he took his gun and went to shoot McGurk, who shot him instead. that's how we ended up here, Red still has 2 guys left to kill for his parents. I've now heard this story like 19 times and it gets slightly more complicated and yet somehow less interesting every time.

Red's batshit crazy rogue priest daddy is ok with the revenge and gives him a???? Cursed crucifix??? that will bring blessings to him and evil to others?????? What's happening. I was raised Catholic I did not get any magical amulets like this

ok so we're caught up. Red killed one of the 2 guys in the first big shootout of the movie, his dad was the guy getting shot in the intro. Jack joins the men officially as part of the gang. We are now getting backstory for some random gang member whom I do not care about.

Blessedly this was a short flashback. he used to be a blacksmith before he went axe crazy, or more accurately hammer crazy, with a hammer. I think he had some reason but I couldn't understand the dialogue in that bit so who knows.

OH NO ANOTHER GANG MEMBER IS GOING TO TELL HIS LIFE STORY NOW... IS THIS GOING TO BE THE WHOLE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE? PEOPLE TAKING TURNS TALKING ABOUT THE VIOLENCE THEY'VE DONE? wait a minute. false alarm. the next guy starts his story but is INTERRUPTED! By McGurk dramatically showing up. Ok fine that was funny. you got me.

anyways McGurk wants Red dead. what a shock. oh god another flashback PLEASE DO NOT ZOOM IN ON MCGURK PULLING HIS WIENER OUT PLEASE GOD

I do like the period accurate costuming in this movie. buttons yes. can I be done here? can the movie be over here? we're not even halfway in how can I endure this.

anyways. Red and McGurk have a showdown and fire simultaneously, each wounding the other. The other gang is delighted by this as the previously untouchable McGurk being wounded means his charm is broken. He can be killed! Eventually. (?)

The storyteller from the beginning of the movie comes back and tells us that McGurk disappeared for 2 years and that Red did lots of exciting stuff during that time but we're not going to get into all that right now. He also mentions that Red has the gang working with him while McGurk has 'always been a lone wolf'. This is straight up incorrect, as we had to see at least 3 painfully long flashbacks of McGurk and his 2-3 (I forgot) cronies shooting Red's mom Irene's friend full of holes and assaulting her. As a group! He did in fact have help before, if maybe not now. anyways. I shouldn't try to logic this movie.

The kids go to a masquerade. It's cute. Jack is enjoying the dress but worries it'll compromise her tough butch persona if the boys find out. Red promises not to tell anyone. There's a trippy extended rewind sequence that shows, everything playing in reverse, that McGurk, now wearing an eyepatch, has been stalking them all day, and then a completely unnecessary but in parts very funny sequence where McGurk gets a shave and the barber gossips to him about his backstory , providing a couple details we hadn't known but that I don't think matter much. 'now I never even seen a picture of McGurk, but they say he was an unnatural looking man, with a face you'd never forget,' says the barber, dabbing shaving cream onto McGurk's face. lol. It gets to be too much when the barber implies that McGurk dragged himself off into the wilderness and died somewhere, never to be heard of again. McGurk, very alive, pulls out his gun and asks if Red is still alive, and where to find him, thus bringing us back to before the masquerade, though first we must get ANOTHER flashback showing that McGurk did indeed drag himself off into the wilderness and ALMOST die, and he spent the whole time thinking about how much he hated Red.

Then there's a bit from I guess before the masquerade in which one of the gang members gets jittery over one of the others not showing up on time and tells Red he's bad luck, despite Jim Payne's argument that he's brought them nothing but good luck for these past 2 years. Red and the complainer square up for a duel and the other gang members go wait outside. We get some split screen of inside and outside the building:

It's fun but I'm not sure why it needed to happen. The complainer decides to just Not today and slinks off, but Jim mumbles that the other gang members will have to pick sides and a breakup is coming. We exit split screen. Then for no discernible reason we re-enter split screen.

Split screen gives us 2 slightly different shots of the same porch scene for a very funny and confusing moment, then McGurk steps into view in one shot while the gang doesn't notice him in the other. He shoots Jim Payne, Rodrigo and I think that's hammer guy? I think he killed the other non-complainer gang member earlier but the 2 guys sitting outside were shooting at a wasp and therefore didn't hear his shots, which happened at the same time? That section was confusing.

Ok NOW we're back up to the masquerade, and we have to watch a bunch of the same shots again. No wonder this movie is nearly 2 hours, it's mostly repetition, a lot of it of the same couple of flashbacks. Anyways, McGurk shows up at the masquerade, threatens Red, dances with Jack. Red gets knocked unconscious by someone and wakes up tied to a post in the middle of nowhere.

Oh look, Chollas! That places this movie as taking place in the Sonoran Desert, so somewhere in Arizona, southern American California, parts of Nevada or New Mexico, Baja California (unlikely) or northwestern Mexico. Filming apparently took place in New Mexico. You will notice that zero of these places are ANYWHERE near the one SPECIFICALLY NAMED location with title card and everything, TzinTzunTzan Mexico. No I'm not done being annoying about this I'm never done. Does anyone know how distances work?

Anyways. Red is tied up, concussed and dehydrated. The complainer from the gang shows up and mocks him. It was he who kidnapped Red! And now he's going to kill him. But fairly, of course. He'll give Red a weapon--he places it in his left hand and leaves him tied up, of course. And I am going to turn on captions for these because I need you to see that I'm not making this dialogue up oh my God.

"Because I face my challenges head-on! Like a train going down the tracks! I love trains. ...Robbing... trains."

Red shoots the complainer, whose name I will never not mishear as Gandalf (it's Gandall or something?) and then Some Guy happens along to find Red. I'm pretty sure this is the same guy he freed from being tied to a tree at the start of the movie but I'm not sure. The guy comments 'it's only fair' as he releases Red, so maybe I'm right? It's not super obvious if they recognize each other or not. He does threaten Red a bit first before freeing him. idk.

Anyways I think this man is hot and watching him playfully mess with Red a bit before releasing him was the closest I've come to sexualizing anyone in this movie. Mostly I have been too confused and haven't cared about anyone enough.

Red, now freed, finds McGurk McLurking over his mother's grave and yells at him to get away from it, furious. They have a showdown. Red shoots McGurk's gun hand, then drops his own gun and dares McGurk to try to pick his up faster. McGurk doesn't move. Red mocks him, then finally tells him that there would be no satisfaction in killing him like this, even though Red could, and to get out. McGurk leaves his gun, throws his belt of ammunition in Red's general direction and skedaddles. A flashback reveals that Irene told Red's presumed father whom he buried in the beginning of the movie that McGurk was the young Red's father (I did wonder about that. But also how did she know? Red was redhaired like his father. Well I guess his non-father was more blond but like. He definitely doesn't look like McGurk. And all those creeps had their way with her so like. how do we... know... that it's him.... in particular. None of these guys had red hair also. except maybe his dad who wasn't his dad.) but anyways... in Red's non-dad's one moment of bravery, he picked up baby Red, saw McGurk McLurking outside, and shouted 'the boy's mine. Get out!' at him. And McGurk actually McLeft. In the present, once again, he runs away from Red. an interesting ending, though I'm not sure I'd call it a satisfying one--maybe if it was more "Red is sticking to his moral principles of not killing where avoidable" was more of a Thing up to this point, but like, Red has killed a bunch of people and not seemed to mind joining the outlaw gang and presumably doing a bunch of crime with them for 2 years. So. idk??

It's then revealed via, surprise, ANOTHER FLASHBACK that Red had given the magical cross amulet thing to Jack before their dance and so has been winning these last fights with his own skill and no luck, which is a fun reveal I guess. It then cuts to Jack who has been caught and tied up by bandits though, so like, I guess the cross does not work at all bc that is just some real bad luck for her. So. What was the point of any of this?

The movie ends there. No explanation of what's going on with Jack. We do not see her get rescued. I don't even know who those guys that tied her up are. We've never seen them before. What the fuck is happening. ROLL CREDITS!

Ok thoughts: idk interesting movie. I didn't feel strongly about it. I think it's clear the people making it were having a lot of fun so that's cool. Red was kind of a fun character, especially when he's awkward and dorky. Very lovable. However his motivations and general morality are an enigma to me. For a guy who has that much exposition about him I'm really very confused about what's going on with him, which does not seem like it should be possible at this point.

Jack was potentially a fun character but I feel her dad was so weird about her gender while I didn't have a solid grip on how she felt about it herself. It's implied that she has to be a man to join the gang and her dad allows it as long as she dresses masc and shoots guns but views her as neither man nor woman. Potentially fun concept.. I really wish we didn't end the movie with a casual non sequitur of her getting attacked by some random dudes. Do we not have enough women experiencing violence in this movie already. It's in every fuckign western I watch and I am just so tired of it.

idk. I think Red should've shot McGurk. It's not like he was Not shooting anyone else. Why would he shoot all those other guys and NOT McGurk. Maybe he thinks it's crueller to make him live knowing that he had to run away from Red. idk. Also why did we have those two (and a half? there's a brief moment where he talks to someone in a saloon?) sequences of the storyteller talking about the legend of Red Pierre? What did that add?

I did like some of the humor in this movie. Generally I think it was rather incoherent but had some fun along the way. Maybe too much, to a confusing degree. I also liked the costuming and how dusty and greasy everyone looks.

I feel like maybe the characterization was clearer in the book but falls flat or just seems confusing in a movie... this is just a theory though.

Anyways. Unexpected parallels between this movie and the other western I'd never heard about before finding it at a thrift store and making a tumblr post about, Gallowwalkers:

-Some kind of secret society of magical wizards which is vaguely Catholicism-flavored and described as a religious order despite having absolutely nothing to do with real world Catholicism

-Older, morally questionable gunfighter notices a conventionally attractive younger white boy and immediately goes "that's my new boy. I'm adopting him. Boy, hello, I am your new mentor, whether you want one or not. Come shoot people with me." In both cases it's so weird and flat and confusing that I don't even ship it, despite being a known freak and Wanting to...

-generally confusing movie. Too much going on that is never fully explained and yet the stuff that is explained gets too wordy.

Anyways I skipped through the credits to the end looking for some explanation of the ending and did get this:

To be continued?? you thought you were going to make another one of these? well that explains the ending I guess. oh well.

There actually WAS also a brief funny stinger of the shopkeeper whom Red and Jack held up and told to lie on the floor and count to 5000 reaching 4998 and going "To hell with this" and getting up. lol.

[williamrablan]

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley - Death Watch!

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley – Death Watch!

Marshal Charles Emerson was in terrible pain. “Easy now,” the doctor told him. “Take it easy Charlie.” If Charlie could have spoken, he’d have told the doctor to take it easy himself. The doctor wasn’t the one who’d been shot in the chest. The doctor wasn’t the one dealing with the pain. The town marshal of Alamosa was dying and he was in agony. It’s a given he had a collapsed lung, and fluid…

[thismightbeaterribleidea]

FAQ

Hello! So, during a global pandemic and at the beginning of what will probably be a long and severe recession, at the age of 40 and with basically no knowledge of how automobiles work, I’m going to live in a van.

This might be a terrible idea. Hence, I’m calling my blog This Might Be A Terrible Idea.

If you’re reading this, I imagine it’s because you know me, so I’ll skip the introduction. I like a good FAQ, so let’s start there.

FAQ

Where are you going? Short answer: I don’t know!

Long answer: I’ll probably primarily split my time between Colorado/northern New Mexico, Maryland/Pennsylvania, and Florida. I want to stay as low-budget as I can and also avoid crowds during the pandemic. So whenever possible, I’ll opt for free, dispersed sites in national forests, state forests, BLM (which I now read as Black Lives Matter but here it’s the less-important acronym, Bureau of Land Management), state game lands, etc. I’ll pop into a developed campground every now and then to refill the water tanks, empty the portable toilet, and take a shower.

What kind of van do you have? In late June, I bought a 2007 Ford E250 with a high roof. In its first life, it was actually an Embassy Suites hotel shuttle, so when I got it, it had SO MANY SEATS. After it retired from the hotel biz, it went to a guy who owned a brewery and used the van for ski trips. Then he eventually traded it to a friend’s college-aged son in exchange for lawn-mowing work. This young man was actually going to make it into a camper too but didn’t have time, so he sold it to me.

I got the van for a very low price ($2000) because it’s really high mileage — almost 300,000. It also has a few issues: the dashboard, power windows, and radio only work sometimes. The doors are creaky and don’t like to close. There are splatters of paint (?) on the inside of the driver’s door. The air conditioning wasn’t working. And the interior is pretty beat up.

With help from my brother who actually knows about cars, I recharged the air conditioning. A new, functional instrument cluster is on the way. And the type of engine in this van (5.4L V8) supposedly has a reputation for being extremely durable. If I get a couple of good years out of this vehicle, I’ll be happy.

How are you going to afford this? A few years ago, I paid $4200 for an acre of land in the San Luis Valley, a few hours from Denver. I hoped to eventually put a little camper on it and make a very low-budget part-time home. But a few months after I bought the land, the county changed its rules to prohibit living in campers or mobile homes for more than a couple of weeks at a time. So the camper idea went out the window, and in June, I sold that land for $5000. This was my funding to buy the van and associated stuff. I’m going to try to keep the initial total cost of the van (vehicle, repairs, materials for the interior, solar installation) to about $6000.

I’m incredibly fortunate to be in a position where I don’t have to choose between my job and a weird nomadic lifestyle. About a year ago, I went full-time freelance as an editor and writer. So I’m self-employed and I work from home. I don’t even need the internet that much — aside from checking email, file downloads/uploads, and occasional googling for research and editing questions, I can be mostly offline. Also incredibly fortunate: the pandemic hasn’t affected my work, at least not so far.

I’ll have new and unexpected expenses: food will be more expensive, I’ll have to pay for campgrounds sometimes, the van will need gas and repairs and oil and new tires, and then I’ll want to make livability improvements (like insulation). But I hope that I’ll be able to cover all of that while still living within my means.

Aren’t you selling your condo? Why don’t you get a newer/lower mileage/already converted van? Yes, I am (fingers crossed that the sale goes through) selling my condo in Denver. But I also have no savings, no retirement fund, no emergency fund. And the recession is just getting started… the whole future seems pretty uncertain. I’d feel better if I kept as much of the condo money in the bank as possible, even if that means having a crappier van.

Don’t you worry about safety? Absolutely. I’m a worrying person. I worry a lot! But if I responded to those worries by not going anywhere alone, staying in only developed campgrounds, etc., then I’d have missed out on some of the best experiences in my life, and I’d never go much of anywhere at all.

To stay safe in a van, I’ll use the same approach I use for solo car camping. If a place feels sketchy, I go somewhere else. To avoid trouble from bears, I try not to get food on the ground, do food prep and brush teeth away from the vehicle, and keep the car doors locked when I’m away and at night. To avoid trouble from bros, I try to stay out of sight. I pick spots and set up my campsite so that people passing by mostly just see the vehicle and not me or my single chair or small tent. I have bear spray, which stays in arm’s reach when I’m out hiking and at night, and I have a sharp knife, which is always pretty accessible too.

In fact, safety is why I chose a van over a truck with a camper, which actually would have been preferable. If a truck ever had recurring or expensive mechanical problems, I could just get a new truck and put the camper on it — but with a van, I’ll either have to do the expensive repairs or get a new van and re-do the whole interior. And if I wanted to stay in one place for a while, I could take the camper off and just drive the truck around, saving on gas and wear and tear. But with a truck camper, if I were ever inside the camper and felt unsafe, I’d have to *go outside* and then get into the truck cab in order to leave. With a van, if things start feeling sketchy, I can just hop in the driver’s seat and go.

(Side note: It’s upsetting and frustrating to me that these safety concerns and choices are so linked to gender. Of course men also need to think about safety when they’re out camping alone, but I’m pretty sure I’ve had to think about it at least 200% as much as my equivalent 40-year-old non-threatening-looking out-of-shape single dude.)

If we’re talking about safety from non-sentient threats — bad weather, injuries, mechanical breakdowns, etc. — then I…

a) try not to get into situations that I can’t get out of — whether it’s a too-rugged road, a too-steep trail, or a spot that is likely to turn into a mud pit if it rains. I also think about whether I could walk to get help if I needed to. b) have some basic safety and first aid stuff. Tape, gauze, and a mylar blanket for me; jumper cables and a portable air compressor for the car. c) have a Triple A membership in case I need a tow.

The van came with a handy fire extinguisher strapped to the driver’s seat. To reduce the possibility of being unable to call for help if I get stuck somewhere, I eventually plan to get a cell phone signal booster.

The fire extinguisher or even my bear spray won’t keep me safe from COVID-19. But like I mentioned, I’m trying to stay as far away from crowds as possible. To cut down on contact when resupplying, I’ve got storage for 10 gallons of water (I’m actually going to expand this to 15) and plan to carry enough food for a month. Unless there’s a mechanical problem or breakdown (definitely my biggest concern), I should be able to drive coast to coast while remaining in a relatively firm bubble. The riskiest thing I’ll *have* to do is refuel at gas pumps, but I can pick gas stations that seem less crowded, refuel in smaller towns rather than busy highway rest areas, and go at quieter times of day.

Does your van have air conditioning? Nope! Well, it has the standard vehicle AC, but that only works while the van is running, and most of the time I’ll be parked. There are AC units that can go on top of campers and vans, but they use a ton of power: either you have to be plugged in to shore power at a campground, use a gas-powered generator, or have a million solar panels and batteries. I’m going to get a good roof vent and fan installed, plus maybe put some smaller battery-powered fans in the windows, so that will hopefully keep me from getting heatstroke in the summer.

Does it have running water? Nope! Right now, I have a portable foot-pump sink and a self-contained portable toilet. I plan to eventually build a nicer/bigger sink. I’m also going to order a collapsible tub so I can do sponge baths or use a solar shower (a black vinyl bag that heats up in the sun and has a hose attached). Swimming in freshwater lakes will need to become a bigger part of my life. I’ll probably be a little stinky at times, but people should be social distancing anyway, so if anyone can smell me, they’re way too close.

Does it have electricity? It will! I’m planning to have one large solar panel and a lithium battery installed. (For those who are curious, it’s a 315 watt solar panel with a 100 AH battery.) This will power the roof fan, my laptop, my phone, some plug-in lights, and eventually also built-in lights, the cell phone signal booster, and maybe a small fridge or cooler. The solar power system is going to outlast the van and will be easily switchable to my next vehicle.

Wait. “Maybe” a fridge? What are you going to eat? Ummm… I’ll figure it out? I eat like a scavenging raccoon, so I’m not too picky. I bought a bunch of freeze-dried legume-based soup and stew mixes from Harmony House, some high-protein shake mix from Huel, and I plan to stock rice, quinoa, peanut butter, oatmeal, hard cheese, packaged salmon and tuna, and dried fruit. If I’m driving, I’ll probably also keep an eye out for farm stands and grab some produce that will keep unrefrigerated for a few days. During the pandemic, I’ve been using support for local businesses as a way of justifying takeout or delivery once or twice a week, so I’ll probably keep doing that when I pass through developed areas.

Can you poop in your van? Does it smell? Yes to the first! I haven’t, um, tested it out yet. But after road trip in my sedan in May, when I had to go into a scary (no one wearing masks or social distancing) gas station in Colorado Springs, bathroom and hand-washing facilities for the van became a priority. Right now the portable toilet is just sort of hanging out in the open, but I’m going to build a plywood box to contain it. I did pee in it a bunch during my inaugural camping trip, and I’m happy to report that the chemicals I added to the tank made it not smell gross while also not producing an overwhelming chemical smell.

How will you get the internet? Unlimited data plan FTW! I recently figured out that I can use my phone as a mobile hotspot and connect to it with my laptop. It’s not fast, but it’ll do what I need it to. And I should be able to have connectivity even in more remote areas after I get a signal booster.

Won’t you get tired of living in a tiny space? Maybe. I do have some good practice, though. In the last decade, I’ve gone from living in a 700-square-foot condo (Denver) to a 400-ish-square-foot studio apartment (New Jersey; grad school) to my childhood room in my parents’ house (Maryland; post-grad-school student loan debt). Each time, I’ve gotten rid of stuff, even things it’s painful to get rid of: old books, childhood knickknacks, cassette tapes, drawings, horse show ribbons I remember winning, cutlery and glassware I got as housewarming gifts.

I also tend to feel really at home in my car. I’ve napped in my car, drafted novels in my car, had long and meaningful conversations in my car, had existential crises in my car, eaten hundreds of meals in my car. Car = house makes sense to me. And I hope to be staying in places where I have access to big and engaging outdoor spaces.

What will you do after you live in a van for a while? I have no idea. There are definitely things that I want to do — write fiction, build my career, be more involved with community/communities, get healthier, be a better human — but all of those things are geographically nonspecific. And everything both personally and nationally feels so up in the air. I could end up living in a van for a year, or five, or ten. I might eventually buy a house or a boat or a farm, or settle down somewhere (I don’t know where) in a more permanent way. But I’m not making plans for any of that, and I’m not making plans for an “after.”

I think that’s it for the FAQ! If you have any questions, let me know and I will address them in a later LFAQ (Less Frequently Asked Questions).

Also, please bear with me because I don’t really know how Tumblr works. If you want to start reading, start FROM THE BOTTOM.

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

Mr Miranda goes to Panorama High School

It's not easy to get an auditorium full of hundreds of teenagers screaming with excitement on their first week back to school.

Lin-Manuel Miranda, the Tony Award- and Pulitzer Prize-winning creator of "Hamilton" did just that Thursday, as he spoke to nearly 1,000 students in Rep. Tony Cardenas' San Fernando Valley district.

In a roughly 30-minute question-and-answer session at Panorama High School, Miranda flowed seamlessly between English and Spanish, speaking about his earliest memories with his abuelita and telling the young crowd, "Mi tiempo es tuya" -- "My time is yours."

He also described history as "a canvas."

"It's for you to tell the stories we haven't heard yet. And to lift those voices, those often marginalized voices, up, and I can't wait to see what you create," Miranda told the crowd of mostly high schoolers, many of them Latino.

He took turns answering lighthearted questions about his first job (working for $4.25 an hour at a Manhattan McDonald's) and the one food he'd choose to eat for the rest of his life (a type of Puerto Rican lasagna).

But he also offered some tidbits of advice for the youngsters, telling them to "surround yourself and fill yourself up with the thing you're chasing."

Responding to a question about being successful as a Latino, Miranda said, "You'll face struggle. You will face people telling you you've got to look a certain way, you will face people telling you that you have to tell a specific story." He added, "You could write a bad version of someone else's story but only you can tell your story."

Cardenas set up the event, billed as a "town hall" focused on civic engagement, after meeting Miranda's father, political consultant Luis Miranda, and chatting with him over coffee about the need to expose Latino youth to role models who look like them. The elder Miranda brought his son onboard and was in the audience, along with Miranda's mother, Dr. Luz Towns-Miranda, at the event on Thursday.

Miranda fielded questions ranging from what artists and books inspired him, to why he writes so much about immigrants, who figure largely in at least two of his musicals — “In the Heights” and “Hamilton.”

To that latter question, he answered that he is “inspired by the immigrant experience in America.”

Miranda, who was born in New York City, said he is of Puerto Rican and Mexican descent, and grew up in a pre-dominantly immigrant neighborhood filled with “Dominican-owned, Puerto Rican-owned, Cuban-owned businesses.”

“The amount of output, the amount of work” that came out of Alexander Hamilton seemed to show “a guy who lived as if he was living on borrowed time,” Miranda said about the nation’s first secretary of the treasury. “He came to this country and started creating and never stopped.”

“The fact that Hamilton was an immigrant made him relatable to me, because it’s the only way his life makes sense,” he explained. “Because I knew, growing up in the neighborhood I grew up in, that well yeah, if you’re an immigrant, you work three times as hard as everybody else. That’s the gig.”

Miranda also drew on the theme of hard work for his philosophy to achieving success in the arts. He told the students they should look at “limitations” as a “source of strength,” and to “run headlong into your weaknesses.”

“You have to get so good that you are undeniable,” he told them.

[leahwithanidea]

17 Jun 2019 - PATIENCE

FIRST WEEK ACTUALLY SERVING IN COLORADO. I MISS NEW MEXICO AND SISTER JOHNSON SO BAD HOLY MOLY. It has been a hard week. I cried a lot. 

I am training a new missionary again!! Her name is Sister Farnsworth and we have the same first name! She is from Spanish Fork, Utah! Some Things About Manassa

• Located in the San Luis Valley of CO!

• Was founded by Mormon pioneers back in the day

• Everyone and their mother is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints here (that's an exaggeration, it's like a good half or more, though)

• Area that's closest to having a Utah missionary experience in the Colorado Springs mission

• Jack Dempsey was born here so that's the claim to fame. Everyone is lying when they tell you their grandpa or so-and-so knew him in school because he only lived here till he was 2 years old

• The town is a perfect square ("one inch by one inch" --Ala)

• People here have a weird accent that is like a southern accent mixed with an Irish accent and I do not want to develop this accent

• There is only about one road here that is not a dirt road Some Rough Things About This Week

• Our first night here, we couldn't get our keys to open the door to our trailer (yes, I live in a trailer now)

• The trailer was a little bit thrashed from the previous missionaries, so we cleaned and rearranged the heck out of that place.

• I am flush-training and it is hard. When you "flush" an area it means both missionaries that were previously serving there are taken out and two new missionaries that have never served there get put in. Usually, only one missionary gets switched around so you have at least one missionary who has been in the area for a bit and knows who's who and where's where. Sister Farnsworth and I are both new to the area, hence, we are flushing. And I am training her since she is a brand new missionary. So I've been slightly stressed. Please give me some advice for flush-training in a small town thanks.

• We have been fed a giant dinner every night we have been here by different families who are members of the Church. Oof. It is hard for my stomach to handle.

• The night before I left Raton, my heart broke in two. It was rough. Just gonna leave it at that. Some Hecka Good Things About This Week • I finally get to see the Valley! • The weather has been the nicest it's ever been on my mission so far.

• My hair is growing very fast.

• I live in a trailer now.

• My film pictures from a few weeks ago in Trinidad and Raton were developed and they look hecka good.

• The Trinidad elders are still involving me in the missionary work over there because I know People and I know Things haha

• I have not yet been eaten by a dog even though I have lived and walked through many places where dogs will eat you for real Love always and forever and even from the promised land of Colorado, Sister Leah Gaush Manassa, CO  Sister Johnson isn't my companion anymore so now I'm pretty horrible at having pics for you guys but oh well here is what I have:

1. Me playing frisbee golf my last pday in Raton/Trinidad

2. Me and my favorite fam from Raton :')

3. The Raton ma'ams 

4. MISSION POSTERITY. from left: Sister Farnsworth (my daughter), me, Sister Johnson (my daughter), Sister Tolley (my granddaughter). I trained Johnson and Farnsworth, and now Johnson is training Tolley. Yes, Farnsworth and I are wearing the same color skirt

5. First time having Jimmy John's. Fairly impressed.

6. Sunset in the Valley.

[traviswsoul]

Day 7 Orcutt to Morro Bay This was the hardest day yet, not because it was a long day but because of the head wind that nearly pushed me over the edge.  I departed Michelle's house at noon, which was a bad idea to stay so late but I got busy writing and didn't want to fall behind on that.  That became compounded when I turned the wrong way down Clark St leaving town and went for a few miles inland.  That is exactly the kind of lesson that I am learning on this trip, to not let stupid mistakes anger me.  I always have and always will make mistakes, brain farts, that could ruin the day or the mood and drive me crazy.  I can be prone to being too hard on myself and I hope to remove that from who I am, I know I'll never be perfect so why freak out when I'm not?  To not be driven mad by the maddening. I figured out a route to continue on and not have to back track, the reason I went so far out of the way is I got so distracted by coasting down hill so effortlessly.  I wasn't about to climb back up that hill.  I imagine I added 10 miles or more to my day, which isn't that bad except for detouring through farm lands with insane head winds which were that bad!  This is when I started cursing the wind, what a silly thing.  It kept my general speed of about 15 mph to under 10, I was not doing well.  I spend the first hour on the bike basically making no progress.  Then it got even better (worst).  I made it into a town, Santa Maria, and stopped at a classic truck stop for pancake breakfast which was fine.  I then loaded up, except for securing my map bag, that also contains my passport and wallet, to the handle bars.  It got left sitting loosely on top of the rear panniers.  A few hundred yards from the truck stop it bounced itself off the bike and sat abandoned and lonesome in the middle of the road as I rode on for about another two to three miles before I went to lean onto my bars and rest that I realized something was missing.  The only thing on my bike that if lost all was lost.  I can't cross the border and make this trip successfully with no passport.  My heart melted down into my clipped in shoes.  That experience warranted a entirely different kind "oh shit" from than a wrong turn.  I didn't even have a moment to be mad I simply went into panic mode, turned around and rode as hard as I could the wrong way down the road so I could see exactly where I had been. The clear plastic cover shimmered in the high sun from a block away and all was well, better than well, the opposite of disaster, this is the kind of things that make you believe in God.  Not having experienced the roller coaster of emotion you might say "No it's not, all that happened was retracing my steps and finding what I lost, but when the stakes are that high, it sure feels like so much more.  Faith is a funny thing, and made up of even funnier things.  I'm going to write a sermon called lost and found faith one day and see if it can't get me kicked out of a church.  The best truth starts as things that they'll throw you out of the church for! So all this craziness happened before I was back on the route even, making for quite a stressful day.  The wind continued to work against me for most of it.  After I rejoined the route in Guadalupe I had one of these spells I'm starting to recognize as a regular phenomenon on a trip like this.  I black out stretches with in days.  I think if nothing is especially interesting or stimulating and my body and mind are fatigued there's not a lot of energy to register vibrant memories, so I don't.    I rode until I saw a logo of a hamburger man,which of course I remember, so I stopped and ate a "california burger,"  they call anything "california" if they put avocado on it, seams like a cheap trick to me but it's a thing.  Refueled I was ready to go however the wind was still kicking my ass and I was worried about not making it before dark,  well, that's the excuse I told my self to justify my next actions but the truth was I was fed up.  I knew there would be days that sucked and I wouldn't want to go on,  it happened the first time one week in.  I saw some good ol boys loading into a pickup when I was pulling out and I asked them if they were headed north, told them I was behind schedule and could use a ride to the next town, luckily the were going south despite being confused about which was north and south at first.  It blows my mind how many people I encounter on the coast who don't know their north from south, they certainly know which way the beach is but havn't put two and two together.   Anyway I just fell back on my mantra to just keep pushing pedals and went on. Oceano, Grover, Pismo and Shell beaches were all quinticential California beach towns one after the other and they culminated with Avilia Hot Spring Camp site which I must return to.  It, obviously has hot springs, had a hippy commune vibe but also appeared to have cabins that were tiny houses.  There is a very strong possibility that when I get back to SD from this trip I will be building a tiny house so it took everything I had to not stop in there and check it out.  After that I turned onto Ontario road, a frontage road along side the 101 nestled up against a big hill on the oceanside, effectively blocking the wind,  I couldn't have been more grateful.  Then I noticed the opportunity for a short cut by taking Los Osos Valley Road and cutting off going to San Luis Obispo, so I made up a little of the milage I added in the beginning. Too bad the trade off was one of the coolest town in all of the west coast for a bunch of miserable farm land, oh well, you can't have it, and I've had more than my share already in this life i'd say. By this point I was exhausted, I was still battling the wind, so when I turned off onto Turri Rd I had to go into full beast mode because I was starring at a big hill ahead of me and a giant cloud was blocking out the suns warmth above me.  I was growling and huffing and yelling my way up this hill, I was rewarded for my show of determination with a juicy and curvaceous cruise down the back side where I saw rabbits, squirrels, and a big fox, plus that cool old windmill, I loved it.  At the end it only got more beautiful, I was back at the coast and came upon a vast grassy river bed with several streams winding through it reflecting the light from the setting sun, and the ocean in the distance. I was in Morro Bay.  I have been waiting several years to come here and visit skateboard legend Jack Smith, whom I'm humbled to call a friend.  We met early on in my days starting push culture, in the memory of my spirit he gave me his blessing and was very encouraging.  I started PC News by turning on my computer camera and reading the newsletter that he used to send out every monday, which was the precursor to the Skateboarders Journal Magazine he we later start. I loved it and I tried to share it with friends but I realized no one was reading that type of content anymore via email.  It needed to be video so I hit record and that was the first episode.  Immediately we sat Brian in that chair instead, I produced it and I could never tell that story without telling about Jack Smith and his influence.  I am thrilled to be here, I was thrilled to see Jack, I was thrilled that when I got here my brother's letter from his realestate office was on the counter, it felt so nice to feel Brian's presence in that moment finally being in Jack's home where he was missed, and talked about with love.  Jack's wife Kathy made an amazing chicken gnocchi soup for diner that night, I had seconds!  Kathy is an angel and understands us guys being called to these big adventures (Jack has skated cross country 4 times since 1976) she has taken wonderful care of me and I've been full the whole time.  She'll be retiring next year after 35 years of teaching, I'm really  happy for her, she's delightful. I also enjoyed getting to visit with Dillon, Jack's son, who's smart and cool, has a great job, and is really fun to talk about skateboarding with. I'm taking a rest day here as well,  I waited too long to be here to rush out right away. I rode electric skateboards to the Morro Bay skateboard museum with Jack, it's founder. We rode around the "volcanic cap," a huge rock called Morro Rock that jets out of the water 400 feet above Morro Bay. But thats another story.

[californiafolklife]

Beliefs and Rituals of California Winemakers

The following vintner beliefs and rituals come from Michael Cervin’s “Crazy Superstitions and Rituals of Winemakers,” Part I and Part II.  Here are a few Californian ones.

Hair and Clothing:

“Here at Midnight Cellars we do not shave or cut out hair from the day of the first grapes till the day after we get our last grapes.” Rich Hartenberger, Midnight Cellars, Paso Robles

“For my first 7 harvests I didn't shave my beard or cut my hair between the first grapes that came in to the last. Then I went through 4 - 5 harvests where I kept my beard clean and shaved regularly, but never cut my hair. This past harvest I went back to keeping my beard growing. Maybe not so much a superstition but more my 1-year-old daughter loves to pull on it.” ~Coby Parker-Garcia, Claiborne & Churchill Winery, Edna Valley, California

“All the guys tend to cut their hair, grow their hair, cut their beard, grow their beard, during harvest. It was annoying me until I came up with something that I could do along the same lines. I now dye my hair purple or red just before harvest. For a blonde this is rather a shocking change but I love the looks on people’s faces who think I always look this way.” ~Dorothy Schuler, Bodegas Paso Robles, Paso Robles

“I grow a beard and don’t cut my hair during harvest. Probably part of it has to do with the fact that I like beards and it seems wives don’t like them so much, so this gives me an excuse.” ~Greg La Follette, La Follette Wines, Sonoma

“My harvest superstition: I always chop my hair right before harvest. Out with the old and in with the new!” ~Anne Vawter, Red Mare Wines, Napa

“My Cal Berkeley Sweatshirt. I wear it on the first pick of every harvest.” ~Neeta Mittal, LXV Wine, Paso Robles

”I have to wear shorts from the first day of harvest until the last tank of red is pressed out. Since we are typically pressing out towards the end of November it can get a bit chilly on some mornings. It all started over 15 years ago when a co-worker and I would kid around as the mornings were getting colder. ‘You’re probably going to wear pants tomorrow aren’t you?’ Followed by, ‘Not me, no way!’ So it became a survival of the fittest thing that turned into a ritual.” ~Paul Steinauer, Flora Springs, St. Helena

“Finish the formal harvest plan before the Tour de France finishes. No cutting of hair (head or facial) until the very last grapes are harvested. The winery break table must always have a 5-pound jar of Red Vines on it when fruit is being harvested. On the first day of the Chardonnay harvest, crack open a bottle of white Burgundy (same for Pinot, with a red Burgundy).” Mike Sinor, director of winemaking at Ancient Peaks Winery, and Sinor-LaVallee Wine Company, San Luis Obispo

“As a break from the heat, as well as a break from the habits of the local farmers, years ago I decided to wear red shorts in the field as opposed to the jeans, which are the farmers’ usual field dress. Fending off the catcalls and whistles of my fellow farmers, I told them that I wear the red shorts each April 1st as a sacrifice to the “weather gods,” and don’t take off the shorts until each Lodi farmer completes their harvest. Once when I decided to tempt fate and forgo the red shorts early, a cloud bust occurred, ruining almost 3,000 potential cases of wine and resulting in 136 calls on my voice mail asking if I had worn my red shorts.” (They make a wine to honor this superstition, Red Shorts Red) Lance Randolph, Winemaker Periano Vineyards, Lodi

Yeast:

“Once we bring the grapes into the building I always welcome them to their new home, thank them for thriving ephemerally and also let them know that we are grateful for them and this is what they were grown for. While I mix yeast, I don’t allow people to talk to me because yeasties (as I call them) are living organisms and I only want good vibes around them. That means I focus my good energy on them in hopes that they will manifest a thriving and healthy fermentation. On the morning a wine is being bottled, I wish it Happy Birthday and note the astrological sign under which the birthday falls in my records. I tell the wine how much “Mama” loves her, and I send her off with best wishes to make others as happy as she makes me. I consider all wines female except Petite Sirah, which I call my “boys.”  Shauna Rosenblum, Rock Wall Wine Company, Alameda

Every time I pitch a bucket of yeast into a fermenter to get it started, I find myself saying, “Get happy little yeasties,” trying to encourage an elegant fermentation out of them. After the tanks are inoculated, often being the first one at the winery, I will turn on Pearl Jam (something from the album Ten) and speak to each tank while it is fermenting, trying to ensure that they stay happy. Perhaps I should start to play the song “Happy” instead… Also, during bottling season we always try to avoid Mondays, with the fear of what our native “winery gnomes” may have done to the bottling line over the weekend. I’ve spoken to other winemakers about this, and they know all too well about the winery gnomes.” Don Schroeder, Sea Smoke, Santa Rita Hills

“For sluggish fermentations, we make the atmosphere as romantic as possible for the yeast - we light candles and play some Barry White.” Todd Graff, Frank Family Vineyards, Napa

“I would say I do two things that are also somewhat practice. I listen to barrels a lot to see how fast they are fermenting and how active they are – so my right ear is usually dirty! I also love feeling the outside of tanks instead of taking an actual temperature of Pinot fermentation. It is a lot more tactile of a reading.” Gavin Chanin, LUTUM Wines, Santa Barbara

Other Stuff:

“Being a female winemaker, I cannot participate in the harvest ritual of shaving, and just thinking about wearing the same socks/underwear throughout harvest gives me the willies. What I learned from Lynn Penner-Ash is the elegant route of toasting the first grapes received with a bottle of Champagne. I always gather the entire team (sales/marketing included) at the ungodly hour of 5 or 6 a.m. to gather around our first bin of grapes for my harvest quote of the year and a taste of Champagne…remembering to always give a pour for Bacchus over the grapes. This year, we added the tradition of starting every processing day with the song “Troglodyte (Caveman)” by Jimmy Castor Bunch as remixed by Lo-Fidelity Allstars. And the one day we didn’t start it in time, as I was in the vineyard monitoring the pick, our Oscillys (destemmer) kept shutting itself off on us!” ~MJ Tsay, Realm Cellars, St. Helena

“I sing the French national anthem as I hydrate the yeast for fermentation.” ~Arnaud Debons, San Antonio Winery, Los Angeles

“I never start harvest on a Friday, it could be bad luck. This has been in the family for a few generations.” ~Pierre Birebent, Signorello Estate, Napa

“Full moons bring nothing bad luck for bottling. The equipment on our bottling line breaks down with no explanation what seems like every single time we bottle on a full moon. I cringe if I see a full moon and know that we are scheduled to bottle the next day because it will be a disaster.” ~Brooke Langelius St. Supéry Estate Vineyards & Winery, Napa

“At Sequoia Grove, most of our cellar employees were born in Mexico, a country of many sayings and superstitions. One of the superstitions we have adopted at the winery is ‘dar el remojo.’ The direct translation (‘give a soaking’) doesn’t make much sense, but the idea is this: when you are lucky enough to have something good happen in your life - a good harvest or a new forklift - you share your good fortune and encourage future luck to come your way by buying burritos, donuts, or beer for your friends and/or employees. The unsaid implication is that if you don’t ‘dar el remojo’, then bad luck may come your way. Sequoia Grove just finished harvest and damos el remojo by having a delicious lunch of carne asada, salsa, and beer." ~Molly Hill, Sequoia Grove Winery, St. Helena.

“There is just one superstition that I follow - never, never wash your car during harvest. With multiple trips up and down Casey Flat Ranch the dust gets into every nook and cranny of my car, inside and out. It's against all winemaker rules to wash until the last grapes are in. If you hit the carwash, it will rain."  ~Laura Barrett, Casey Flat Ranch, Capay Valley

[savetopnow]

2018-04-03 13 MUSIC now

MUSIC

Brooklyn Vegan

Janka Nabay, RIP

Dawes opening for Jeff Lynne's ELO on North American tour

tours announced: Flaming Lips, Cake/Ben Folds, Cut Chemist, Young Galaxy, more

comedy roundup: John Cleese, 'The Last OG,' NYC Podfest, Anthony Atamanuik, more

The Body streaming track off new LP, touring, playing Vitus

Consquence of Sound

Revisiting TV’s Most Unforgettable Scares

Kanye West spotted with Rick Rubin at Calabasas office

Design a t-shirt for Consequence of Sound and win!

Tool share new photos, video from inside the studio

Meek Mill denied request for release on bail

Fact Magazine

Mark Templeton announces Distorted Tourist photobook with five Flexidisc records

Hyperdub newcomer Proc Fiskal announces debut album Insula

Captain Beefheat’s Trout Mask Replica gets reissue on Jack White’s Third Man Records

U2 rename themselves ME2 to honor global women’s movement, announce deluxe Boy reissue

The 25 best albums of the last three months: January to March 2018

Fluxblog

Hohner Eko Taktron Arp

One Two Let Me Go

Shower Me In Symphonies

Fifth-Dimensional Views

Late Night Games

Idolator

Cardi B Hosts A Wild Party In Her Sexy “Bartier Cardi” Video

She’s Coming! Carly Rae Jepsen Teases A New Song Called “This Love Isn’t Crazy”

Sabrina Claudio Returns With Sexy Bedroom Anthem “All To You”

Dua Lipa Teams Up With Calvin Harris For New Single “One Kiss”

Demi Lovato & Luis Fonsi Perform “Échame La Culpa” Live For The First Time

Listen to This

The Lonely Biscuits -- San Francisco [Indie Rock / Indie pop] (2018)

Swearin’ - Dust in the Gold Sack [Indie Rock] (2013)

Valley of the Shadow of Death -- Beside the Landscape, Scattered Everywhere [strings, ambient grief] (2011)

Mel T. Eyes - Engraved [Melodic Hardcore] (2018)

LOOK MUM NO COMPUTER -- Jam Session [Electronic/Alternative]

Popjustice

New Music Good Friday: Post Precious! Dragonette! CHVRCHES!

NONONO’s new one is v excellent and here’s the video

New Music Friday: all hail Let’s Eat Grandma’s miniature pop symphony

Paloma Faith’s branded content is better than your branded content

Saluting the artwork for PRETTYMUCH’s Healthy

Reddit Music

Joyce Manor - Catalina Fight Song [punk/pop punk]

Decided to listen to some MCR to laugh at my teenage self. And god dammit I still like it

The Misfits - Hybrid Moments [Punk]

Down- Eyes of the South [Metal]

Ben Folds, Cake Team for Co-Headlining Summer Tour

Rolling Stone

Watch Cardi B's Glammed-Up New Video for 'Bartier Cardi'

Ben Folds, Cake Team for Co-Headlining Summer Tour

Meek Mill: Judge Denies Request to Reconsider Prison Sentence

Bad Bunny: The Four-Billion-Stream Man Leading the Latin Trap Explosion

Review: The Weeknd's 'My Dear Melancholy,' Mixes Deep Gloom and Tough Love

Slipped Disc

Daniel Barenboim is on 60 Minutes this week

Yuja Wang gets back to basics

Russia mourns top chorus director

Musicians Union fights ‘worst scam in 20 years’

The piano duo we’ve all been waiting for?

Spotify Blog

The Weeknd Drops Two New Music Videos Only on Spotify

Taylor Swift’s New Delicate Video Only on Spotify

Spotify Expands Secret Genius With the Launch of Studios

Spotify and Genius Team Up to Launch Déjà Vu Podcast, Hosted by Stereo Williams

Spotify Celebrates Black History Year-Round with Launch of Black History Is Happening Now

We Are the Music Makers

Finally got my first pair of mixing monitors!

Question about hardware for production and recording

I have a mix I’m happy with that has mid/side processing on the master channel. When I flip it to mono the mix sounds bad. Is this due to improper mixing or M/S on the master?

Question about song writing credit...

You guys, I'm in desperate need of finding some of Mr. Carmack's old songs.

[williamrablan]

The Problems with Writing about Historical Characters.

The Problems with Writing about Historical Characters.

I recently began compiling some of what I’ve written into a series of books. Now, much of this is historical (as In happening before 1910) especially the series titled The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley. Now I have to admit there’s a big difference between writing a simple blog post and a book. The book implies a lot more research. And here’s where you start running into problems. You find…

[williamrablan]

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley Pt 8 - Bad Billy LeRoy, His Brother Sam, and a date with a tree.

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley Pt 8 – Bad Billy LeRoy, His Brother Sam, and a date with a tree.

PERSONAL NOTE: When I first heard of this, I was stunned. I’d lived in Del Norte for eight years, and never once heard the story. I guess the nice, quiet little town, where my kids played in the street, and where you could sleep with your door unlocked wasn’t so quiet once. Like a lot of things, I’ve gotten a more than passing interest in this now, and as I learn more details, I’ll pass them…

[williamrablan]

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley - The Choices You Make.

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley – The Choices You Make.

My wife is a counselor and she often hears tales of woe from her patients. After talking with them it often becomes clear that they arrived where they’re at through a series of bad choices. She often ends up telling them “you live with the choices you make.” Choices often lead to a nightmare, and this one starts with what the Chaffee County Republican printed on Sept 15, 1884: Fifteen years…

[williamrablan]

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley - The Tarnished Badge.

The Bad Guys of the San Luis Valley – The Tarnished Badge.

There were no restaurant guides in June of 1881 to give a review in. But if there had been, Deputy Frank Hyatt of the Conejos County Sheriff’s office would probably have left of a review of “dismal décor, but service is good, and food isn’t bad. But they really need to do something about some of the people they allow in.” History doesn’t record what he was eating that morning. Since it was in…